#anyway. im going to paste this into my survival world and fill it with all the animals ive caught there

[astyrra]

ive been building a floating island zoo in creative to put in my survival world

mods: abyssal decor, alex's caves, architect's palette, create, farmer's delight, quark, supplementaries

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HIII THABK U FOR THE TRIVIA AND ASHE SONG before i take forever 2 answer those or forget here is a blank ticket to please please talk about prime defenders and their AWFUL emotional literacy and processing skills i would literally love to read that essay so much ive also been thinking about it incessantly. big eyes staring up at u.png. ok ok peace out GOODNIGHT !!!! <33

i lied actually im not going to bed im judt thinking about this ans listening to St. John on a loop now. hello catkiss.gif i forgot how youve filled me with so much joy. that cat is so fuckign cute

anyway. hi :) prime defenders huh. this is gonna be less of an essay and more of a sleepy ramble but ohhh i have so many thoughts. they all process things so differently and none of them are good at it they all need therapy so bad. ms.g where is the hero therapy why didnt you build that into w.a.t.c.h ma'am

vyncent is probably the best at actually processing things out of all of them, he just internalizes everything to the point where he wont talk about it unless hes pushed past the breaking point. vyncent is actually very.. emotionally intelligent? i want to say mature but that feels like im singling him out because hes the oldest. i just feel like because he grew up on Fauna and had to be in basically survival mode in a world full of monsters trying to kill you.. that makes a person grow up quicker than they should. i think vyncent had a good childhood and for the most part his parents took good care of him but just.. living in that world doesnt seem like it leaves room for a whole lot of expressing emotions. vyncent is good at quick analysis of a situation, but unless a problem directly interferes with the current goal he doesnt externalize it to everyone else. but bottling up his feelings and emotions just builds up pressure over time until something like the lich makes him blow up and let it all out at once, usually in a dramatic monologue format bc condi is really good at those god damn it. also they played off the fact that vyncent said all of that to the lich and then missed his attack as a funny thing but i like to think of it as. he got too overwhelmed w his emotions and lashed out too soon it made his fighting messy. vyncent is so angry and honestly after what hes been through he deserves to be !!!!

william wisp. my boy. god hes just like me fr so much so that it physically hurts sometimes. anyway. i always think back to the scene where theyre all in the cabin talking about themselves/sharing backstories and william keeps desperately trying not to talk about himself. the fact that hes so ashamed of his powers he hides wisp form every time. two of his powers are LITERALLY a) turning invisible and b) turning intangible, usually as an excuse to leave whatever situation hes in ("accidentally" falling through the floor at opportune moments in season 1) . theres. a thing that happens at the end of episode 13/beginning of epidode 14 that youre really close to and i wont spoil yet but god it has to do with this so extremely much please come back to my inbox when you get there. youll know what it is trust me. um. yeah. so anyway. i think a lot of this comes from a place of. he doesnt want anyone to be scared of him. williams not stupid hes incredibly smart and insightful he knows his powers are objectively SCARY. hes scared of himself constantly, he doesnt want anyone else to feel that way about him, so he shifts focus whenever those aspects of himself are brought up because if someone were to think about it for any amount of time theyd realize the truth that hes scary and dangerous to be around (<< william logic. hey remember how one of the reasons he originally left deadwood was because the monsters there were attracted to the wisps and therefore Him so he left to keep his friends/family out of danger)

i think a lot about williams death and the immediate aftermath, i dont know how much you actually know and how much of this comes later but . how does he go home after waking up from that. his parents know about his powers, so they MUST know what happened. what do you think he told them when he god home muddy and dirty and broken and probably bloody after being missing for. god knows how long. how does he look his mother in the eyes and tell her her little boy is dead. but hes also not because hes standing right in front of her. how the fuck do you think he felt the first time he went into wisp form and saw his body laying there !!! of course he wouldnt want to talk about that!!!! youre gonna have to pry william wisps emotions from his cold dead hands !!!!!!!

dakota's response to the ashe situation was to run away in the woods and do nothing but train for 10 months. he didnt think about it for 10 months. i dont even have a whole lot to say about dakota other than like. stunned silence whenever his inability to process trauma is brought up because grizzly does such an incredible job at being like "you ask dakota how hes doing and his face is just blank" << paraphrased actual quote from an episode i cannot remember which one. either 11 or 12 ?

also because im thinking about him im including ashe in this. we didnt get to see a whole lot of his canon reactions to extreme emotional situations so a lot of this is just coming from My Mind but ashe seems like hed be the type to repress a lot of his emotions too. being alone in your house/in your room for extended periods of time will do that to a guy. i think he feels a lot of things and will probably very openly cry/scream/get angry when hes alone but as soon as he knows another person is there he can immediately flip the switch to turn it all off like nothing happened. very much a deadpan "im fine." if someone asks how hes doing, even if hes got like. the remainder of tear tracks down his face. cannot physically express his emotions in the presence of someone else

[kylejsugarman]

one of my favorite things about the current brba fandom is how we all have our own alaska jesse ocs and plotlines that we rotate in our minds and write about... anyways i love love love your demi and baby! do you have any ideas for how jesse and demi's wedding would look like, or do you think that they would prefer to elope? also how would the proposal go? :)

there is nothing more crucial to survival than making up a little world for alaska jesse filled with people who are so nice to him. its literally imperative. im really glad u like demi and baby :') i always feel like i talk about them way too much, so its nice to hear that people actually enjoy them. and jesse and demi do just elope!! ive talked about this before, but they just have a courthouse wedding (kim and jimmy who??) with no real ceremony and go to a bed and breakfast in haines for a night as their "honeymoon". the concept of marriage is a little abstract for both of them because once they start hanging out, they basically just. spend all their time together. (<- lonely ass guys response). plus jesse is wary of any kind of procedure or activity that involves using any of his fake documentation and identity (he has nightmares for literal weeks leading up to renewing his drivers license), so when he thinks of "marriage", it freaks him out a little. but after a few years of being Together and getting some (polite) questions about it, they decide to go ahead and just do the paperwork to clean up some logistic stuff and make things "official". plus, it's kinda nice!! :) jesse and demi have finally managed to grow past their constant fear that the other is going to leave them for Being Broken, and getting married feels like a nice promise that this is Real and Permanent. once they decide to get married and skip out on the traditional wedding stuff, jesse realizes that he wants to do at least One romantic gesture and decides to propose. he gets an amethyst ring, not a traditional wedding ring (amethyst = purple, february birthstone!!) for her!! i elaborate on it a little more in this post. the most important thing?? they are in love :)

[spidercookie18]

I'm having a crisis. And im going to talk about wanting to die.

Know first that no matter how scary this post may be, I've moved past seriously attempting to unalive. I promise I have a support group, and this is not anything like that.

It is 5 a.m. when I started writing this. I woke up crying, and now im worried I'm gonna be having an existential crisis for the next few days til I can get my head on straight.

I. Am.... turning 24 in less than 3 months. And I am freaking the fuck out about it. I woke up with my ears ringing in pain, my joints aching, and my stomach and head killing me. Yes, I did it to myself, but that's not the point.

I realized, now that I am going to be.... living past my 'expiration date', that I have to live inside this body. And to live inside this body is painful.

Now that my life plans don't stop at 24, I don't know what to do.

For the longest time, it was: who cares if - - - -, I'll be dead at 24.

And now, that's not the case.

Now, I have people in my life who love me, and that would not survive hearing I died. I've never had that before, and I've never had people to live for before. It's terrifying.

This is both the best and the worst feeling in the world... to know that I get to live for them and that I'm not allowed to die.

Now that my plans include growing old, which is such a WEIRD fucking thought for me. I mean fuck, I've tried to die and begged for death for so many years. I can still feel the pain of my kidneys shutting down, and now I take daily vitamins to stay 'healthy'????

FUCK

No one ever talks about how FUCKING ODD life is after ';'

They just tell you.... fuck, they don't tell you. People have always avoided talking about this. They just talk about how 'greateful they are to be alive' and all the bullshit about how great life is!

And it is, but it's also, it is terrifying. I go to work and talk and smile to people in passing glances. I have a regular, schmegular life, and in the back of my mind when having a conversation about something so insignificant like "do you like pineapple on your pizza?" While I'm thinking about how I thought about walking into traffic that morning.

YES I DO LIKE PINEAPPLE ON MY PIZZA, AND I CAN EAT WHAT THE FUCK EVER I WANT NOW BECAUSE ME AND MY BODY DESERVE GOOD THINGS!

...I'm looking at all the scars on my body and... idk man, I don't hate them anymore, but I wish I had been kinder to myself. When I think about making new ones I just have some water and a granola bar instead.

Such a stupid fucking internal dialog too 'hey you wanna do something bad to your body?' "Nah, lets have a snack instead" lmao

And 90% of the time, it actually works!

I love my support group, and I know I stress them out. I never thought I'd be the kind of person to say they were loved. I mean, my friends are flying into town for my "congrats on beating your record for consecutive days alive" birthday party 😂 and ik its gonna make a lot of people uncomfortable, but its not for them. I like living for me.

Anyways... Now that my plans include growing old, I have to take care of my body. And I'm so fucking excited to grow old that I can't even express it in words. I get to live and watch my friends live. I can have a family and make it as big as I want, fill it with all the love and kindness the world never showed me. I want that. And I am so excited to experience the days as they come. I'm ready to be the kindness for others that no one was for me.

I still think about it all the time. And sometimes, it's really hard to push those thoughts away. Some days, it still feels like I'm drowning. Some days, I think how easy it'd have been if the thoughts had won.

And other days, I get to smile at strangers, or have a yummy drink, or feel the warm Sun on my skin in the cool autumn breeze, or eat sushi, or gossip with someone that loves me. Hell, even getting to write the damn stupid vampire fanfics is a good day for living, lol.

I am so excited to help other people live, too...

But also, fuck. Now I have to take care of myself??? It's not just "dang, i got tenitus?" *shrugs in suicide*

GAH

But also, yay. Lol.

Life is so fucking weird man. But it's good to be alive. 🩷

[grieverled-moved]

➤ APPEARANCE HEADCANONS [ ; ] LEON’S “WINGS”.

For my portrayal, Leon has gotten wing tattoos similar to Rinoa’s wings at some point. It’s a lingering memory that he clings tight to following his initial stranding in Radiant Gardens, something he holds close as a cherished remnant of his past, a firm reminder to hold strong  &   carry on. It plays a part in his decision to change his name as well —  an acknowledgement that he is no longer connected to his past, having lost it all, the guilt weighing so heavily he needs to move on &   start anew. To earn back his old name even.

An idea I am particularly fond of is Aerith being the one to help him embroider Rinoa’s wings onto his leather jacket, since they seem close   & were both saved by Cid when Radiant Gardens fell to Darkness. Out of all the other FF characters, she is someone he’s grown close to, someone who has undoubtedly seen him during his worst times   &   knows about his struggle to find his footing again while working through his unspoken grief  &   loss. Her   &   Yuffie were also the ones who kept him bed bound when he first awoke in Traverse Town, when he wanted to leave to continue his search for a way to reverse it all, so they’re also well aware of the scars he has.

For my first KH verse, I really like to headcanon that Leon   &   Rinoa managed to get in touch or find eachother again  —  Rinoa having survived through her own means, travelling around to offer help where she’s able to on other Worlds while trying to also track down & find Leon ( a nice little throwback to when she found him when he was stuck in Time Compression ). Following them reconnecting, she eventually decides to continue doing her own thing while Leon is left with a clean conscience, reassurance, & his old guilt lifted, left to finally focus on repairing Hollow Bastion / Radiant Gardens to it’s former state.

To be honest —   This is just me trying to fill in the blanks. I’d never push my HCS on anyone, but I tried to find a reason why Leon was much more happy  &   easy-going in KH2, less stressed, less closed off. More open? Logical brainworm went & decided that a reason could have been him getting back in touch with Rinoa again   &  finally knowing she’s safe  &   has been this whole time. It’s all I could think of given he had a letter from her ( IM ASSUMING ANYWAYS ) with her wings .

They keep in touch after that point by writing letters to eachother   &   are still close, though their relationship remains purely platonic.

[kisstheassassins]

Hi there😊May I request a HC with Connor and SO who is an assassin in The Tyranny of King, but in this SO doesn't remember him when he finds her in the same prison as Kanen'tó:kon hanging by her wrists being tortured by a bluecoat(similar to what happened to Leliana in DA Inquisition). Also she would the same person he originally knew, but cold & kind of emotionless. Not to mention she wouldn't trust him either. Lol sorry that got dark, but thank you for taking the time to read this!

I hope this is to your liking 😊

Also im using (p/n) as your preferred pronouns.

The two men had finally been liberated from the prison they were held in, but Kanen had one last thing to do here before he could finally leave.

There they were at a four-way cross section of the jail, with Kanen looking around at each hallway as if he were trying to remember something.

"What is it?" Ratonhnhaké:ton asked his friend; his hand was pulling on Kanen's arm to make him hurry, but he pulled away.

"We cannot leave yet," the other man says, running down one of the halls. If Connor hadn't trusted his friend he would have gone the other way, but he follows close behind.

They find themselves at a closed door, and behind it a voice can be heard. It's cold and harsh, and upon creaking the door open Kanen realizes its not just one person, but two. You hang by your wrists from the ceiling by chains, feet barely hitting the floor as you gasp for each breath.

"I know that there were more of you," the guard says harshly. He has some sort of blunt weapon in his hand to strike you when he thinks you're either lying, or doesn't like the answer you give him. Your face is bloodied and bruised.

"Beat me all you want," you growl, "I'm not saying a damn thing. You and your false King can rot in hell."

Your voice rang through Ratonhnhaké:tons ears like a cannon firing just beside him. His breath quickens as he and Kanen rush in just before the guard strikes you, startling him.

However, before they can reach him your legs wrap around his neck tightly, using your chains to lift you up and choke the man with your limbs. You apply more pressure with each passing minute, and eventually jerk your hips sideways to result the sound of his neck snapping. His body slumps to the floor, as well as your legs. You're exhausted.

Kanen moves the dead body to the side and searches for the key while Ratonhnhaké:ton looks you over. He's still trying to process that he even found you, let alone in this prison. And the state of you; it made him sick to see you so beaten. He always promised to protect you and to prevent this type of thing.

"Took your bloody time," you say, an exasperated smile gracing your lips. Kanen unlocks the braces one by one, and Ratonhnhaké:ton helps you stand when each hand is free. You can't help but fall to the floor, and he helps you down gently. Kanen kneels on the other side of you.

"I don't particularly enjoy leaving my friends behind," he says. You rub your wrists and wince at the pain; no doubt these bruises would be here a while.

Your eyes meet the other man's, suspicion building up the more he stares. His eyes are soft and his mouth is partially open like he wants to say something.

"Friend of yours?" you ask, looking up at Kanen. He nods.

"More like a brother. This is Ratonhnhaké:ton."

You both lock eyes again, and a sense if warmth and familiarity fill your chest. It confuses you; you know you have never met this man in your life, so why are you so..... fuzzy?

You nod at him in greeting.

"(Y/n)," you say, and even though he knows it, he smiles to you anyway.

Kanen and Ratonhnhaké:ton help you stand up and keep you close to support your legs, as it was somewhat difficult to walk after the beatings you received.

"Go on ahead," Ratonhnhaké:ton says, "I'll help (p/n)."

With just you two now following a ways behind Kanen, Connor has a close grip on you and you can't help but notice how closely he watches you. You don't have to look to know, but you can feel his eyes on you.

You try to break the wall with small talk.

"Thanks for doing this," you say, "uh.... " A laugh escapes you. "Sorry, I don't know how to say your name."

He knew it was coming, but he played a long.

"What would you like to call me then?" he asks softly. Your eyes meet his once again and you chuckle.

"My mentor," you begin, "he had a son. Died when he was only six." A pause. "Is Connor okay?"

The man smiles and nods, fixing his grip on your back. You fall in closer to him as your legs are still weak.

"It's perfect," he chuckles, but you weren't able to feel how his heart ached and yearned for you at that moment. "How about we get out of here, hm?"

-----

Benjamin Franklin had been attending to your wounds on your hands and wrists, while the other two who saved you leaned over a table discussing their next move for the revolution over Washington. You can't help but stare at Connor and wonder why he felt so familiar to you, but you never met the man.

"Something bothering you, (y/n)? " Ben asks. You keep your eyes focused.

"How come I've never met Connor," you say. Your friend looks to where you are looking.

"You mean Ratonhnhaké:ton?"

Your eyes glance to Ben and then back.

"We settled on Connor since I can't pronounce his name," you say.

Ben finishes up wrapping the bandages around the cut on your palm, watching you wince as he tucks the fabric in.

"Well," he begins, "I don't think Kanen'tó:kon expected to find his friend here in the midst of all this. He went to war with Washington even before Ratonhnhaké:ton and his mother did."

You sit up off the table and pulls your sleeves down over your bandages.

"Do you trust him?"

"He's been very helpful so far," he states, "in fact, I believe he's done more for us in the past week than we have in a month. I dont think you have anything to worry about."

----

A brief war table meeting later, and everyone has departed to complete their duty for the day, leaving you to rest and Connor to go over what he had missed over the past few weeks. You find yourself beside him staring at the wall of photos and drawings that you and your colleagues had collected for evidence and tracking. Connor stares up at Washington, eyes malice and eager to find the man.

"You seem to have a personal vendetta with him," you say, more so than we do."

Connor looks to you and then back at the wall, exhaling sharply.

"He has done a lot of harm and damage to my people, as well as the rest of the world. My home was burned, my people enslaved."

He stops a moment to collect himself and take a deep breath, almost preparing himself for what he had to say next.

"He... murdered my mother. My father."

You swallow the lump in your throat; people were lucky enough to survive Washington's wrath, let alone escape it. A majority of those here weren't so lucky.

"I'm sorry," you say softly.

A few moments pass and you can't help but stare at him, that feeling familiarity hitting you dead in the chest again. Your palms are sweaty too, you notice, and you're chewing the inside of your cheek. Connor glances your way and turns his head when he sees you.

"What?" he says. You exhale sharply.

"Are you sure we haven't met before?" He shakes his head. "I feel like I've seen you before and its driving me mad."

Connor shifts in his spot, thinning his lips and staring at you, waiting, as if he wanted to speak. But he doesn't. Instead he watches you get closer.

"I don't normally trust people so easily," you say, "but seeing Kanen being so open and close to you, I feel like I can too. Don't take me the wrong way Connor, but you feel real familiar to me and I don't know why."

He smiles sheepishly, memories if you flooding his mind back in.... his original world. All of this surely had to be a nightmare.

"Perhaps we should work together," he begins, "see where this goes from here."

You smile at him and he does the same for you, making you chuckle. You pat his arm and make way upstairs; he is in close pursuit.

He prayed to his ancestors nothing happened to you after this.

[jaskiersvalley]

I LOVE JASKIER HAVING A SUPPORTIVE FAMILY AND LETTENHOVE BEING A SANCTUARY TO WITCHERS IM AKSJWQKWNOAKANWKQ

I always adore seeing you crop up in my notes, and your enthusiasm in your asks makes we want to treasure them. But they deserve to be let loose into the wilds of this website and, like always, here’s a little thank you fic with some more Lettenhove being a sanctuary and Jaskier’s family being supportive of Witchers. If you’ve ever heard Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree, you know what’s going to happen.

Yellow Ribbon

Witchers weren't meant to take sides. They were meant to be neutral, without political agenda or loyalties to any other than their life's purpose to rid the Continent of monsters. This particular fact was drilled into Wolf Witchers to the point that even the most rebellious of them evaded human conflicts as much as possible. Aiden knew all that but he wasn't raised a Wolf. Cats knew they shouldn't blatantly take sides but, given their tendency to take on less Witcher-y contracts, they very much blurred the lines. Then came the Nilfgaardian war and Aiden knew he couldn't sit back and watch as the world he knew tore itself apart. But he also knew Lambert wouldn't understand. His Wolf, so loyal, yet so entrenched in the rules he was raised to hate, he would never be able to understand why Aiden left to join. Why he felt the need to fight the humans' battle. Power ebbed and flowed over the course of time, this was just another turn of the tide. Not to Aiden though. He knew he would likely be killed but at least he'd die fighting for what he believed in. Leaving Lambert was nigh on impossible. Aiden spent so long trying to figure out how to tell him he was leaving, likely to never come back. He couldn't do it. If he was going to die anyway, it wouldn't make much of a difference as to when Lambert thought him dead. So Aiden arranged his own assassination, left enough evidence that all would think him dead and he fled to the frontlines, heart heavy but knowing he took the least painful course of action possible.

The war lasted years. Throughout it all, Aiden tried to keep an ear out for new of his Wolf. He heard of the White Wolf's rise, how Kaer Morhen finally fell and the Wolves now called Lettenhove their home. Aiden could only hope that Lambert was happier there, more comfortable. On some nights thoughts of his beloved Wolf, comfortable and happy, were the only thing that kept Aiden sane.

As all things tended to do, even the war came to an end. Aiden had new scars to show for it but he was alive and on the winning side for a change. It was not something he ever anticipated and he had no idea what to do now. In his heart of hearts he knew what he wanted: Lambert. But the chances of him being welcomed back with open arms were slim. Aiden had to try though, had to know whether there was still a sliver of Lambert's heart that maybe missed him. However, Aiden was a coward in the matters of the heart, he didn't think he could survive the rejection, the anger. So he did the next best thing. He wrote a letter.

Lambert,

I don't know if I can call you mine anymore. When I left, I didn't think I'd survive the war I was compelled to join. But, years down the line, I'm still here, the war is won. Despite this, I still feel like I'm in a battle, fighting to know whether your heart still beats for me. I'll understand if you want nothing to do with me, you'll never see me again if you so wish. Yet I hope you can forgive me and set my heart free even though you were never them one to force it into this fight. I'll be joining the home caravan headed North. It will pass through Lettenhove where I believe you now call home. At the edge of the settlement is an old oak tree. If, when the caravan passes through there, it has a yellow ribbon tied around it, I'll know to leave the caravan and search you out. However, if the tree remains bare, I will continue with the caravan and this is the last you'll hear from me.

As little as it may be worth, I send this with all my hopes and heart at your mercy.

Aiden

The letter would reach Lettenhove a good week before the caravan, Aiden was confident. As they travelled, the caravan got smaller, people leaving to head towards their own home. Seeing all the teary, heartfelt reunions hurt in a way. While Aiden was pleased for them, he was also horribly jealous. Wishing he could dream of such a welcome turned and happiness for his fellow veterans into something bitter. Aiden could only hope he was heading home too rather than setting out on a nomadic life that would be filled with regrets.

As they approached Lettenhove, Aiden could barely look. He kept his head down, determined to only give the old oak tree a furtive glance as they passed. To watch the bare tree in the distance, grow closer but be devoid of a yellow ribbon was too much. He didn't expect the caravan to start murmuring, gasps and giggles going up.

"What do you think it all means?" Someone asked ahead of him.

"Maybe some local festival. Or one hell of a welcome home."

Hope drew Aiden's eyes up earlier than he wanted and he let out a choked whimper. There wasn't a single yellow ribbon around the old oak tree. It was absolutely covered. Every branch, twig and bud was wrapped in a myriad of yellow ribbons. Not just that, all the fences, posts, even dog houses were adorned in yellow ribbons, creating a bright path to follow. It took all of Aiden's control not to run, letting the ribbons guide him. Though, on second thought he was right not to run, his sight was too blurry with tears all of a sudden.

As the caravan moved through Lettenhove, people were standing outside their homes cheering and waving anything yellow. It all culminated with a small group of people at the path to the Pankratz mansion. Half of them were familiar, Geralt, Eskel, Vesemir were all there, yellow ribbons woven into their hair or into a buttonhole. Out front though stood Jaskier in a bright yellow doublet, strutting forward like a proud peacock.

"Welcome home, Aiden," he called and the people in the caravan all turned to look at the Witcher in question. To think that a Witcher of all things would have such a welcome was absurd. But there they were, a Witcher being welcomed home like family. "I will make introductions to my family later-" Jaskier was saying, "-they helped source all the ribbons and are putting on a feast. But I believe there's someone you want to see more."

The group parts and there was Lambert, a crown of dandelions perched on top of his head, a yellow ribbon clutched tight in his hand, creasing the material beyond rescue.

"Lamb." Aiden's voice was breathy, hesitant. Despite all the yellow, he still wasn't certain of his welcome. At least not until Lambert closed the distance between them with two long strides and reached up to cup his cheeks in two hands.

"You bastard."

Their foreheads pressed together, Lambert's thumbs stroked over Aiden's cheeks, feeling the ridges of new scars and the ribbon tickled his chin.

"I'm sorry," Aiden croaked. "I had to go."

"I know." Lambert's eyes were brimming with tears. "I mourned you. I missed you. Don't do this to me again."

Promises dripped from Aiden's lips. He hated how Lambert brokenly murmured "if you'd asked, I've have come with you". That had never been an option, Aiden didn't want to drag Lambert into a war he had no interest in. But it was all in the past, they were choices they couldn't make again, no matter how much they wished they could. What they did have though was a new future together. And, if Aiden had heard right, it was going to be starting off with a feast.

[bioodorange]

||How I See The Pastas||

© @frozensriracha, for some help with visuals!!

This was originally supposed to be how they looked but I decided to go for mental aspect and explain why as well PLEASE like, reblog and share your thoughts on this in the comments or inbox

Below the desciptions are images i’ve compiled and some art (if you know the creator please tell me so i can credit them) for a visual

dont forget to like reblog and share your thoughts with me, I spent a few days on this so i’d appreciate this

Jeff the Killer

So lets start with the obvious- jeffs pasty white toothpaste lookin skin

But realistically he wouldn’t be completely covered in scars

It would be blotchy, with pink fleshy patches among the burns

He most likely has contracture scars, third degree burns that turn the skin a pale white and tighten the skin

This explains his gaunt features and skin color

Now we have to take into account the vodka that was splashed on him, he’d probably have worse burns there with exposed flesh and damaged nerves

This would result in gnarly exposed skin, a damaged scalp and maybe damage to his teeth and eyes

Realistically, Jeff wouldnt have burned off his eyelids that alone would have resulted in blindness and death

Than his smile, his signatuure mark would probably be more of a gangly bloody scar mess

Pastas heal faster and aren’t really human, he’d have to recut his smile pretty frequently making it pretty jacket up because ltes be honest hes far from clean

ANd than his hait being chard black is very unlikely because as nasty as he is he s h o w e r s

not very frequnetly given his living situation and untreated burns but people can figure out how to wash hait and not much else

also i think its funny he’d shower with a plastic bag on his face to avoid getting soap in his nasty infected scars-

His hair would probably be dry and cut unevenly, more of a dark brown color with blonde undertones

Not to mention his burned scalp, hair probably wouldn’t grow there so he’d have a cool unintentional side shave

Jeff would also be a tall individual, he cant really eat, snacking on things from his victims homes giving him a more skeletal build

His personality and mindest is about as pretty as his face- but he most likely has a very screwed up headspace

Lacking in self care, maturity and sanity its fair to say he’d be a brash and violent person

Fun Fact: While researching this I learned that some versions of the joker had facial scars in the shape of a smile

Ticci Toby

So tobys age, unlike a lot of pastas, is pretty well agreed on, 19

So unlike when he was first a proxy toby most likely has stronger facial features and facial hair

Because shaving and hygiene isn’t first priority for pastas (gross-)

He stands around 5′7 and has grayish skin

Toby i feel is picky about foods, not only is it hard for him to eat its hard for him to keep food down

He’s malnourished explaining his thin figure and grayish skin

His hait is dark brown and a curlish mess, unkempt but short so it doesn’t get in his way

I’ve always seen him with a small gap in his teeth, because I can

And since toby can’t feel shit I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to eat rocks simply because he fuckin could

So some chipped teeth that are a bit uneven

Along with his CIPA and not eating enough Toby would bruise easily and have lots of scars, from things like cutting his finger on accident or getting mauled by a racoon

I wouldn’t be surpised if some of his joints were a bit screwed up, because whenever theyd beak or fracture he wouldn’t notice, this would probably happen a lot causing them to not heal correctly

One of tobys habits is nailbiting but he cant te;; when too far is too far

His fingers may be abit odd looking, knobby and discolored nails because of how exetreme his habit is

Would most likely have bandages around his fingers frequently to prevent the habit

So theres a lot of debate about tobys cheek was it the CIPA or the car accident, I beileve the accident because his other cheek is completely fine, theres damage from the OUTSIDE to inside and considering his sister died in the accident its unlikely he survived unscathed

Fun Fact: only a small handful of people have ever been diagnosed with CIPA, less than 500 (documented) cases around the world

Bloody Painter

So Helen is often seen as quiet emo painter boy 

but uh no <3

Personaly i beileve he suffers from narcisistic personality disorder, exetreme importance and that he is always victorious and gets what he wants

This sporuts from the constant heavy invalidation from classmates, toxic friends and neglect from his parents

He doesn’t hang out with people because he doesn’’t lie them its because they never let him in the past and he beileves he’s better than them

But this also links to deep rooted insecurity and social anxiety/being inept completely

Him being nice is basically so you like him, he wants validation amd admiration not love

Unlike the other pastas he’d be a more clean well kept one a helthy figure and some tattoos bevause he can

I beileve he lives in socity, finding hus victims in girls and men alike who fall for his charm

he uses hhis skill and ordinary appearance to blend in on the streets

From his behavior helen most likely keeps his hair a bit shorter and clean

He always looks his best

Has chapped, and picked at lips because of his anxieties

Aswell as his breakdowns- his identity is completely in his head, he is very unsure of who he is and takes the delusions in his mind as reality

Unrelated but paino fingers-

And finally in order for his art to be as perfect and amazing as him, he has to be apart of it

Thus using his own blood in his pieces and the body parts of those he admires

Covers his scars with clean bandgaes

But his paintings turn brown and dry out, he’s always in need of a new medium

Is most likely anemic from all the blood he looses and has a paler skintone

Clockwork

ahh yes finally someone who knows what self care is-

helen, i love you buddy but you need to stop 

But anyway natalie has a stronger, athletic build

She often chases her victims and gets in altercations, relying on strength most  of the time

on that same note, this would defintelty cause many scars on natalie

Wether it was a bite mark or scars from a kitchen knife, shes got lots of scars

A few even on her face

Now, for the clock in her eye that thing is like holding her skull together at this point, realistically

She is probably delicate and cares for it becaise 1) it hurts 2) if it gets screwed up that could cause a lot of problems

natalie would be a smart person, I wouldn’t be surprused if she had a few other stray stitches or bandgaes wrapped around a fresh wound

For more visual-ish things uh m u l l e t (credit: @cum-looking-sock-mf in a chat like 4 months ago)

She has one, fight me on it

but also thick and curlish hair so I also riase you

Undershave

just y e s

I can also see her getting tattoos over certain scars on her arm, just to make them look not so ugly

I feel like clockwork wishes things worked out better

Wishes for another chance but knows she’ll never get one

Thus her taking goof care of herself

Natalie throws herseld into her “work”, keeping her body in shape and killing people

Its a way to avoid her life and that it is- a huge, sad mess

Shes an outgoing impulsive individual, confident but questions her actions

She’s also unstable- protective and loyal but explosive and strong 

Jane the Killer

Jane is the final one, im sorry I couldn’t do more theres a photo limit and I wanna bash my head into the wall

Now a main different between her and jeff is she had surgery and lie treatment

Janes skin is still greatly scarred but it is greatly healed

She takes care of it and had skin grafts

Her face is disfigured, a scarred smile and burns around

But unlike Jeff she doesn’t recarve the cut so its a cleaner line and a lot healthier

Janes hair took a rather long time to grow back, but it did! 

She has a slightly long pixie cut a bit choppy but she doesn’t mind

Her wife definetely cuts it for her and you can fight me over that

I can see Jane having a lot of facial trauma, scars around her nose and cheeks

She was young when she started killing and went for the over the person, pin them down kill which didn’t work out

She switched to a silenced pistol after awhile, you know like a smart person

Janes arms and legs are in alright condition where most of the burn trauma is on her back

She has a leaner but healthy figure but like boobs-

Like clockwork and Helen she takes care of herself

She doesn’t kill as frequently, going after a few of jeffs victims before him and is of course, actively hunting him down

Her eyes are a pale green and she wears makeip to fill in her eyebrows because those bitches take a long time to grow back

fun fact: jeff has no eyebrows, fight me

[flowers-of-io]

The Legionless

So VoG drops tomorrow and I’ll be trying my best at a Day One run! But most importantly, I wanted to celebrate it with some lore analysis until my theories are proven wrong by canon.

So, Kabr.

1) Aspect

We actually heard from him in D2 at least twice. There’s the Kabr's Glass Aegis jumpship from CoO and the Gnomic chapter from my beloved book Aspect. Aspect is weird in itself, but in short, it’s a story about the Black Garden first and foremost, and how what I believe is the Darkness waking up affects the Sol Divisive. And, of course, what it means to Praedyth and the Ishtar Collective teams stuck in the Vex network.

I think what happens in Gnomic is Kabr slowly losing himself to the Vex. I have no idea why he is/is not walking in the Garden, but my theories about how everything that has ever happened and will ever happen is happening somewhere in the Garden is a thing for another time and I’ll spare you the brainworms for now. Anyway, the sentences are crowded and interweaving and messy and I think it’s the Vex collective mind and Kabr’s mind mixing at this point.

(Watch your six don't worry about me grow grow grow)

Ok buddy Goblin

(Who knows what's listening it's listening it's saying grow grow grow)

GROW GROW GROW this sounds so Vexy. That’s what they do. They possess you and grow inside you (see: Asher). And that’s what the Garden does, it grows, it grows into you and you grow into the Garden. “Everything in the Garden becomes of the Garden”. “Everything grows here,” Jolyon said.

There is a shape that is his mind and the shape is protect the shape is sacrifice the shape is (grow)

This is Kabr realising the final shape, I think--”final shape” as in “the state of the universe the Vex strive towards”. It speaks for itself, the shape is protect the shape and sacrifice for the shape and grow towards the shape and uh remember my aiat essay--

A Titan is a Wall a Shield a Cup filling itself to overflowing. The container changes the shape of its contents but the contents change the nature of the container and the nature is eternity.

This just sounds as something Toland would say. The container changes the shape of its contents but the contents change the nature of the container and the nature is eternity and my brain is on fire???

Okay. Kabr is the container. The radiolaria he so ingeniously drank is the new content. Kabr changes the shape of the Vex but the Vex change Kabr’s nature; and the nature is eternity, so they change the way Kabr relates to it? We know Guardians are immortal and the Vex as a collective also (in a way), but these are two different immortalities. Eternity means different things to them. They have a different relation to it. From what I see, the Vex changed the way Kabr perceives eternity, from the Guardian way to the Vex way. But he changed the shape of the content, so he, in a way, is still Kabr.

He was named too well he is his own grave and the cut on his left hand will never heal.

This is both obvious and intricately weird. ‘Kabr’ means ‘grave’ in Arabic; pretty telling. And the cut on the hand that never heals we see in Legends: The Black Garden Grimoire card, but there it is Pujari who has it:

I am Pujari. These are the visions I have had of the Black Garden. [...]

At the end of the path grew a flower in the shape of a Ghost. I reached out to pluck it and it cut me with a thorn. I bled and the blood was Light. [...]

When my Ghost raised me from the sea there was a thorn-cut in my left hand and it has not healed since.

I’m dying to know what the connection here is. I have no idea. No theory, no explanation.

Also what’s with the ^K^V^s? Green from FFC had an interesting theory about this being some kind of music writing but I didn’t understand it so I won’t quote, but I recommend the FFC episodes on Aspect because they’re fascinating. And, well, we know that Vex and music are strongly connected.

2) Aegis

.................Or is he? Is he losing himself truly?

Relic: The Aegis seems to document Kabr’s last clear thoughts before the Vex interweave themselves with him:

I have destroyed myself to do this. They have taken my Ghost. They are in my blood and brain. But now there is hope. I have made a wound in the Vault. I have pierced it and let in the Light. Bathe in it, and be cleansed. Look to it, and understand: From my own Light and from the thinking flesh of the Vex I made a shield. The shield is your deliverance. It will break the unbreakable. It will change your fate. Bind yourself to the shield. Bind yourself to me. And if you abandon your purpose, let the Vault consume you, as it consumed me. Now it is done. If I speak again, I am not Kabr.     

Now let me introduce you to the final line of Kabr's Glass Aegis:

it was/was/was not done i/i speak again and was wrong i am still him and i am now them and   THAT   IS   FUTURE^V^V 

DO YOU SEE IT? DO YOU SEE THE PARALLEL? I SEE THE PARALLEL

while joined( Glass, Sky )

The Vex are “glass and silica”, the Sky is another term for the Light.

I guess the “cases” (past, present, future) mentioned in the loretab talk about the Vex’s (im)possibility to return to the primordial Garden, or at least the primordial state before the Winnower threw hands with the Gardener.

case Past:

return( i m p o s s i b l e )

// grazing, rocked, major, distilled.

case Present:

return( v e s t i g i a l )

// vault, aegis, awakened, infinite.

case Future:

// return( i n e v i t a b l e )

// light, truth, dark.

Vestigiality is an occurence when in the evolution process some species’ organs lose their previous function because it is not needed anymore, but retain those organs. Make of that what you will, I have my theories but I can’t quite put them into words.

if( t h e   w a r d e n s   s e e   t h e   BRIGHT   a s   d e a t h ) &&

( t h e   THINKERS   e q u a t e   BLACK   w i t h   e n d ) then

What is going on??? I guess we’re the Thinkers but who is the Wardens??

their/our/their desire is not malevolent it is survival she is/was/is wrong there is no evil there is no despise there is no   SEPARATION   there is harmony inside if you/you/you allow it

This, I think, speaks about the Exo Stranger. She said the Vex were “an evil which surpasses all other evil” when she tasked us with destroying the Black Heart. The “there is no separation” seems to be about how the Vex are now Kabr and Kabr is the Vex and the Vex wish to see the world be them and everything to be the pattern as they are the pattern and *gasps for air*

Harmony. I. The music.

Also the final flower pattern was repetitive. Is that harmony? No. Does it hit oddly close to home for me? Yea.

Also the ^K^V^s appear in this entry as well and I still have no idea what they mean.

3) Theory

Kabr is not gone. Kabr is Kabr. The Vex did not eat him up, they have woven themselves into him and they are now one, the Vex and him. I think this is what might have happened to Asher, too.

And I think Kabr will come back, in a way. At least that’s not the last that we’ve heard from him.

(I put this quickly and without thinking much & just riding on the hype, so forgive me if it seems a bit incomprehensible.)

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Concept: RED Spy is down, his watch damaged and the knife blasted from his hand by a clever strike from a BLU. His ribs ache from the force of being hurled bodily into the unforgiving soil of Teufort’s rocky ground, and he grits his teeth into a snarl. 

He can fight without his knife, he lived this long as a Spy prior to this whole mess of a contract... but it would not be easy. His ankle feels damaged, twisting as he rolled and Spy curses at the misfortune; still, his arms were hale enough to enact a chokehold when the opportunity arose. 

The sun disappears as looming shadows block the light, and hearty chuckles linger in the air, the malice behind the sound sending a shudder through the espionage agent. He understood, this was... well, it was personal to a degree, if he had a downed BLU then of course he would think nothing of enacting some quick revenge for a past death/insult.

But it was also their job. He hoped to take at least one down with him, if possible... but it would not be the end of the world to die here and now, later he could hunt them down and delight in the gurgled screams as his butterfly knife pierced their spinal columns. 

Blood dribbled slowly from the shallow indentations in his bottom lip wheren a few teeth had pierced accidentally during the heavy impact. Spy’s tongue darted out automatically to catch it, equally thrilled and revolted by the taste of the coppery substance... 

He grunts as a heavy Texan boot digs into his side, and two voices laugh uproariously as if the world’s wittiest joke had just been exchanged. They would pay for tha-...

His vision flashes sharply a second later, pain radiating through his face like an explosion as a steel-capped boot makes contact; without even consciously registering it, Spy knows his nose is broken. That was a sensation he had become all too familiar with in the past. 

He cries out as something heavy crunches down on his legs, efectively trapping him. 

“Aw, don’t be such a wuss Spah, I manage to carry that around when it’s full all’a the time!” the BLU engineer coos, his expression worryingly unhinged, though not unfamiliar... the RED Engineer had made the same face a truly disconcerting number of times in the past. 

Indeed, the toolbox weighed more than one would suspect, and if his ankle had not been shattered before, it certainly was now. There was only one solution, if he could but find it... where was his-...? 

“Oh laddie, don’t go looking for your pretty little pistol... our spook went and knicked that when ye blacked out for a second, like the delicate little crossaint ye are.” BLU Demo taunted, crouching down over the RED. 

Spy did not recall blacking out, but that’s not generally a good sign...

“You are, as ever, outclassed here, mon frier.” came a smug voice so like his own that it irritated to no end, as the BLU Spy faded into visibility.

If this had been the first death of the day, or even the twelfth, then perhaps he would not have stopped trying to find a solution. Beady blue eyes darting subtly around until some ingenious escape plan came to light and he could be freed from this mess...

But it wasn’t, and he was so, so very tired. Between the Pyro, Sniper and a number of rather lucky swipes from the BLU Medic, Spy had been dying all day long. He would love for this to end quickly... but given the location, and the unlikelihood of help arriving in time to curb the enthusiasm of the currently losing team surrounding him... Spy felt that things were not in his favour this day.

Hovering gently across the room, the intel gleamed innocuously, cruelly. A beacon that lured them all to their deaths day in, day out on these damn capture the flag campaigns; a beloved sight for both the teams’ benefactors. 

And so they died, day after day, for nothing more than a glowing briefcase with an ever-changing array of useless paper inside. Why, last week there had been a recipe for some fried chicken with eleven herbs and spices... useless, though Engineer had been eager to try it, as had another fried chicken afficiando on the team. 

The week before? A number of magazines, a short story about some science fiction show he was certain may have been written by one of the Pyros, and a crudely drawn map to different households that Spy could not make heads or tails of...

A slap snapped him back to reality, sending fresh waves of sizzling pain through his face as the damage to his nose once again took his full focus. 

“Looks as if he’s back with us again.” BLU Spy said, radiating smugness from every pore as he flicked out his knife with unnecessary flourishes. “Good evening Monsieur, seeing as you will be staying with us for some time, I would hope you will be an obbliging guest... and not miss out on the festivities. Such as,” he said, pointing the blade directly at a blue pupil, “when I remove your eye from its socket, hmmm?”

“Hey, I called dibs on ‘im first boyo.” BLU Demo exclaims, swatting at the blade-wielding hand, and trying not to look too pleased as it scored a deep groove across Spy’s face. Spy hisses at him through clenched teeth, loathing the man. “He needs those eyes to see what ol’ eyelander and I are gonna do tae him, aye?” 

“Just don’t go hogging him, I’ve had to rebuild a dozen sentries today because of him. Not to mention my back’s achin’ somethin’ fierce from all the damn backstabbing the little red weasel’s gotten away with.” BLU Engie interjected, groaning as he stretched, fingers and spine making awful audible pops. The man flexed his gloved hand and the mechanical whirring sent chill straight down the Spy’s spine. “Now see, I’m thinkin’ that fair’s fair only if’n I get to pull yours right on out of that body of yours. Whatcha think about that, you filthy RED?”

It would technically fall under ‘fair’, but not anything Spy particularly wanted to experience. Before he could open his mouth in his own defence, with a smooth ‘Gentlemen, please...’ the mechanical fist slammed in from the side. Bile rose automatically in his throat at the sensation of a tooth dislodging and blood filling his mouth. The BLUs seemed wildly unhinged today, beyond their normal bloodlust... but they had lost all week long, so they may be getting sanctions and penalties from the Administrator.

His head whirled. When was the last time he’d had more than a few hours sleep this week? The last time he drank some actual water or ate something substantial? Maybe he wouldn’t be in this mess if he’d not insisted on skipping the team lunch during ceasefire, in order to do some covert surveillance in the enemy intel. 

Consciousness flickered. 

There were delighted but angry voices jabbering back and forth about ‘waiting their turn’, and ‘going a little easy to start because the french fry had to last’...

And then, there was screaming.

It was almost like a bad horror movie, with the sounds of screaming, crunching and swearing flickering in and out. Little snippets of a full scene that he could not comprehend as his battered head swam...

In the sudden silence, loud and grotesque for the heaviness of it, all that could be heard was a sharp, angry series of breaths.

Spy blinked frantically, trying to ascertain what had happened, trying to cling to the here and now when all his body & mind wished for was to give in to the swirling darkness. 

A figure coalesced before him, eyes seeming to glow with a feral light, body and bat completely splattered with blood and gore, expression half in shadow. 

“S-Sco-...?” Spy tried to get the word out around damaged molars and a outhful of blood. Everything throbbed, but the silence was a symphony of hope to his ears.

“Don’t worry, they won’t fuckin’ touch you again, Spy. I got ‘em.” growled an unusually serious Scout, his fist shaking around the bat’s handle. He seemed frozen, a figure in a portrait surrounded by the broken corpses of the BLUs, uncertain what to do next.

A wheezey exhalation from Spy seemed to snap the runner out of it, and he knelt to shove against the toolbox pinioning the espionage agent to the ground. It clunked to the ground with a heavy metallic finality, and Spy sighed at the sudden freedom. 

“Ya look like shit, Spook, so we gotta get ya out of here before those guys fall outta respawn lookin’ for revenge.”Scout says, mouth running while his eyes dart over the mess that the normally immaculate espionage agent made. He slips an arm under Spy and they slowly work the man into a sititng position.

Ankle’s definitely shattered, Spy notes with a true lack of enthusiasm.

“Scout... just prop me against the wall there and take the intel. Once it is secured, they cannot touch me anyway, as the humiliation round will keep me safe.” 

“And just who the fuck do you think you are ordering me about like that?” Scout objects, eyes never once leaving Spy’s face. 

“Someone who wants to win as much as I do?” Spy hazards.

Scout leans back on his haunces, crouched by Spy. He tilts his head, “Ya a real bastard, ya know that? I don’t care about the intel, we gotta get you outta here. But if it means that much to ya...”

In a frankly ridiculously fluid movement, Scout is up, across the room and back again before Spy could blink. The intel snapped to his back like a magnet.

Spy is hauled to his feet with minimal protestations, an arm over Scout’s shoulders and the runner’s other one about his waist. The majority of his bodyweight was resting on the runner, and Spy felt rather despondent about their chances of surviving like this.

He said so.

“The others are coming, don’t worry about it.” Scout grinned. 

Heavy machinegun fire could be heard above near the BLU spawn, along with delighted maniacal laughter. The REDs were here, and judging by the beeping of a sentry, they were spawncamping like no tomorrow.

“See? We got this. So don’t worry about it.” Scout shrugs as they begin the slow ascent up the corridor and hiopefully towards a dispenser. Spy lurching along and trying to think of other things as each jostling movement created little discomforts. 

In a momentary pause, he looks to the runner. “Merci, mon... fils.” 

The words felt too big for such a narrow corridor to hold all at once.

Scout laughed, half in delight and half from awkward nervousness. “Yeah, yeah, you better thank me. I saved ya butt in there!”

They continued hobbling towards the rest of RED for a long moment, before Scout said, looking anywhere but at Spy. “Don’t worry about it... Dad... I got ya.”

Spy could not help but smile through a mouth of bloody, broken teeth. Suddenly, the world felt a little brighter... 

The End

[jams-sims]

I wanna talk about Brawler and his misuse in Akudama as a black women. Because, I see a lot of hot takes but I don't think they get to the root of the problem and that is-

Realistically Brawler had no character and he was meant to die from the very beginning. I don't think that comes from a place of racism. I just genuinely believed its ignorance. Brawler ended up being a lot of people favorites mine included. The problem lies in the fact he got popular and as fans do you can fill in the blanks for his character. Make it better than what was given. People forget the strong idiot archetype is appealing.

Brawler character is a anime trope wrapped in a foil of a black asian character. Brawler never needed to be black to fulfill his character role. There are countless characters like brawler, who are just generic fight me anime characters light skin and all. (I also wanted to mention this isn't the first time. The creater of dangan ronpa has done this. Sakura is a literal dark skin asian women fighter. Who gets mistaken for a man even tho she is obviously a young women. I brought this uo because i feel like he should have learned a little. And i think he did but never gave enough thought to brawler character because he was ment to die anyway. That being said thats giving homie a lot of leyway. That im not really gonna give cause I don't forgive him for what he did to sakura. Brawler feels more like a writing oversight and less edgy early 2000s death game writing.)

The problem really hits it peak, when the black man dies first. So not only is brawler a generic anime trope wrapped around a black asian man. He also has the unfortunate event of also being a horror movie trope as well.

This all comes together as a big red sign that screams racist. You would think the creater who knows he has a giant western audience. Would take just a bit more care. Because, Brawler doesn't need to be a racist caricature. And most people wouldn't see if the fandom wasn't so small.

This brings me all the way around too-

Brawler character could have been kept the same IF only he was given actual character. The problem isn't his skin color (its part of it but not all of it). Its the fact he doesn't have one. The haha im strong, works because the shows gonna end after 13 to 15 eps. God help me if it gets a second season. And that its no one really gonna get that 25 ep treatment. (If it is suppose to get 25 eps i will delete this whole as thing cause their no excuse beside for brawler death in ep 6.)

If Brawler character had been better develop for before his death. It would have been less of a problem.

We can keep the parallels of 2 people forming deep bonds and the will to live. You can keep this is really implying love wink nudge in there. You can keep brawler imma strong man who is generally happy. If you only did one thing.

In the same setting where Swindler and Courier have their moment. Off to the side Brawler and Hoodlum have their moment.

After hoodlum doesn't get his ramen and ends up sharing food from someone else. Brawler-

Hoodlum has an honest moment of curiosity and ask Brawler.

Why do you like to fight so much? Or in my case what the fuck is your deal!? I wanna know please god answer me-

This simple question would not have only punched up his death. From a knife being shoved into my side. To going into full blown fetal position and crying.

Pick any answer and it would have cement Brawlers and Hoodlums relationship into the most fucked death scene in the show. Because it lines directly back into the Master executioner/ executioner parallel.

And I have some answers that would have been fitting. Because as a writer I live off making background storys for characters that have non. These are by most realistically could be canon too what I would write for my akudama drive fanfiction and no one can stop me.

1: Brawler has a death wish and it based around fighting.

Explanation: this really works with the idea that he simply says I enjoy fighting. It is his life and its all he knows. He would be happy going out while fighting. He has no family, no past, nothing tieing him to world of the living besides the blood pumping rush of someone fist colliding with his face.

2: He explains, he was part of group that did nothing but fight.

Explanation: this would give Brawler another parallel to the Executioner's. By explaining how the last group. Everyone died in it all by fighting or being killed. That he is the last living person from that group and wish to follow his brother moto to the very end.

3: (you could realistically dabble into cultural differences as it clear brawler is mixd raced. I say mixed race cause I hate how everyone kinda assumes the asian characters made by asian people are white. Well because brawler is black abd made by a japanese man who will never state his race. I go with mixed raced)

Brawler talks about how hes from a culture that is known for fighting.

Explanation: It could make Brawler deatg less of a sad note for him. Keep him smiling at the end. And more sad for hoodlum because he can't understand the cultural difference. Also it give Brawler a family and something that makes him different from the rest of the group. He doesn't die alone and you can add a religious edge to it.

4: Brawler explains he is a street kid and this is how he has survived all this time.

Explanation: The streets are unforgiving, and Brawler would not have made it this far if he hadn't learn how to fight. Fighting is surviving, sure you can be the smart. But that not gonna feed you nor stop you from getting your front teeth knocked into the back of your throat. He goes on to explain that he sees no point in the long plan. When his time has always been limited.

Anyone of these explanations or shit anything at all. Could have driven brawler character well past a racist depiction of a black mixed race man. Sure i would be upset that he died first. But i could rant for hours about his home life or anything besides what we're given.

Bonus only hoodlum would have this information and it would fucking destroy him. Everyone would think on brawler your so dumb. While hoodlums like thats a fucking lie hes acting. To him dying and hoodlum coming to terms with someone he bothered to get to know was so much more than people gave him credit for. Only for a child to under play that pissing him off more. Adding to his loneliness~

[dirt-cup-draco]

Draco x Reader- Caged

could i request an angsty draco x reader where they get into a fight right before the battle,, and draco chooses to stay with hogwarts and voldemort tries to kill him but the reader jumps in front of him last minute and somehow survives? super angsty but fluffy ending please 🥺

A/N: IM GOING TO BE HONEST. I completely forgot the fluffy ending once I started writing. I am sorry for what you are about to read only because I even made myself a bit sad.

Draco’s silver eyes were filled with fear as he held you close, hands warm and shaking against your hips as his heart pounded against your chest. Nuzzling his forehead against yours he let his heavy eyelids shut for a second, eyelashes brushing against your cheeks. “Promise me you’ll be safe?” He begged, tugging you closer. His voice was only a whisper. 

You chewed nervously on your lips, arms strung around his shoulders, fingers tangled in his shining locks. “I’ll be safer with you by my side,” You croaked, voice hoarse and eyes stinging as tears threatened to fall. 

Draco’s breath hitched and squeezed your hips tighter, trying to ground himself. He shook his head, nose bumping against yours, lips so close. Even being near to the one he loved most didn’t bring comfort. “You know what I have to do... Please, just let me do it. It’s the best option, the only option,” 

“I don’t care!” You whined, moving your head to lie in the crook of his neck. “I don’t care what sort of option it is, I can’t have you risking your life. I can’t lose you,” 

Draco smiled softly, letting his fingers run through the silky tendrils of your hair.  “Aren’t we all risking our lives in one way or another? I don’t want to lose you either but if I side with Potter then I am putting you and my mother at risk... Whatever happens to me, happens. But the world needs Y/N Y/L/N. Let me do this for you, for us,” He begged as you pulled away, his hand snatching yours. He wasn’t ready to be parted. 

Your eyes were burning with tears, the collar of his shirt damp from the few that had escaped and were continuing to run down your cheeks. “The worlds need you too, I need you. If you go to him then you are damned... Why not fight for what’s right?” 

“More is at stake than my life...” Draco tried to get you to see reason. If he stuck by you, then you would be cast under the same deadly shadow as him and Voldemort would not be merciful. Of course he hoped that the future would be brighter once the war ended, but for now he needed to risk his reputation so that you could stay safe. 

“You already said it Draco,” You fought back, “We are all risking our lives anyway, why not be by the people you love? A-and your mother! She can run, your father will take care of her. Please do the same and let me take care of you, let me protect you,” Your hands were back in his hair, brushing the unruly tendrils from his eyes that had dimmed significantly since the first time you had first seen Draco Malfoy, a beautiful, if obnoxious, eleven year old boy without a care in the world. 

“Damn you,” Draco cursed with no conviction as he sagged against you. “I-I’ll stay with you if it’s what you want, but at the first sign of any danger I need you to promise that you will get out of there and go wherever is safest. Promise me and then I will stay,” 

“Nowhere is safe,” You pointed out and Draco squeezed your shoulders hard as he forced you apart from him, eyes burning in yours. 

“Promise me,” He demanded. “I won’t let you lose your life because of me,” 

“I promise,” You finally conceded, kissing him like it could take away all the wrong in the world. 

“Thank you,” Draco sighed against your lips. “I love you,” 

You hadn’t known that the last time you would kiss him would be with a lie sitting sour in your mouth.

-- 

Lucius could see that Draco was glued to your side, unwilling to fall into Voldemort’s open arms. His grip on his wife tightened. “It’s time for us to go,” He whispered low, eyes following the Dark Lord as he stood before his followers and enemies, for anyone who didn’t side with him was an enemy. 

“But-” Narcissa argued but Lucius silenced her with another squeeze to her quivering shoulders. 

“He cannot be used as a pawn, which means our deaths, we must go,” Lucius hissed and his wife slowly came to the same understanding as he had. If Draco was loyal to Voldemort, then they would remain loyal as well, the threat of their only son’s possible death motivation enough. Yet, Draco had made his decision to stand against Voldemort and that meant they needed to make one as well. 

Even if they were dedicated to- trapped by- Voldemort’s cause now, who was to say they would be for much longer? Voldemort was intelligent, knowing more than most how powerful love for a child could be. Narcissa and Lucius would become examples to Draco for his refusal. “Let us before, before they realize,” Lucius instructed, eyeing his fellow death eaters and feeling none of the kinship he once had as a young member. 

With one final glance towards her son, Narcissa vanished with her husband, having disapparated from the war zone. 

--

You had looked away for just a second but that had been long enough to lose Draco. Chaos had erupted, spells and hexes and unforgivable curses flying through the air as everyone fought for their own lives and for the future. Death Eaters were killing their children’s friends, boys and girls were killing adults they had never met once in their lives. Some of the younger students stuck near to the teachers, not knowing spells advanced enough to get them out alive. 

“Draco!” you screamed through the din of Hogwarts crumbling. Your eyes burned with the dust that had accumulated, the debris sending plumes of it up into the already stifling air. 

You ran past people you considered friends and men you knew to be your enemies. You dodged spells and cast your own, heart pounding with a a rhythmic beat that felt like a prelude to a death march. 

Finally spotting a familiar shock of platinum your legs rocketed forward but nearly buckled when they saw what faced Draco. Voldemort was standing not ten feet from him, wand held by skeletal fingers. Two death eaters flanked him and they pulled out their own weapons once they saw you arrive. 

“Get out of here,” Draco bit out, not needing to turn around to see that it was you. He could smell your perfume even if it was muffled by the tang of sweat and the gritty blanket of dust that covered you. 

“No,” You said simply, reaching for his hand. 

Draco’s heart dropped. You had promised, damn it!

Voldemort began to laugh, thin lips stretched across his features as his yellowing teeth made an appearance, jaw opening wide as if he was a snake. It was unnerving, his laughter sent chills down your spine and the look of him was inhuman. “It appears I will be killing two birds with one stone tonight,” 

Your heart was stuck in your throat. “Y-You mean your men will be killing tonight. You wouldn’t do it yourself, coward,” You provoked him to tear his beady eyes away from Draco. 

“Y/N,” Draco hissed low in the back of his throat, “Don’t,” 

“You’re just a scrap of what you used to be,” You continued, ignoring how Draco squeezed your hand uncomfortably, blunt nails digging into your clammy palm. “For hell’s sake, an infant destroyed you. How does that feel? To know that one boy, one insignificant boy has ruined everything you are, year after year ever since the day he survived,” 

Voldemort’s sickening grin grew into a scowl and the veins began to stand out through his pale complexion. His grip tightened on his wand. “You know nothing of the horrors I have wreaked on this pathetic world, girl. His voice grated against your nerves like nails on a chalkboard but you kept your shoulders square, eyes forward. You took half a step forward, Draco didn’t notice. 

“It will be a pleasure to kill you,” Voldemort continued. “I will find far more pleasure in killing you before your heart even stops beating. There isn’t only one way to end someone’s life,” 

Your eyebrows drew together in confusion for only a second before Voldemort was facing you, wand pointed directly between your eyes. With a flick of his wrist you found yourself immobilized, eyes stuck open as your body went stiff as a board. Your hand was stuck around Draco’s but the comfort had vanished. Your stone like body had rendered him stuck with you even as he tugged violently. 

Draco lifted his wand to mutter a counter to your petrified state but with another flick from the bony wrist of He Who Must Not Be Named, his wand was flying high into the sky and far out of reach. 

Despite your state, words unable to come from your frozen throat, Voldemort’s attention was on you. “Who is a coward?” He asked only once before with a vicious grin he was pointing his wands toward Draco. Your boyfriend was still trapped, struggling against you and fear in his eyes. 

“I-I can still free us,” He promised, not realizing the danger he was in. You tried all you could but your hand was still frozen around his fingers, unrelenting in their grip. You were caged in your body and nothing would budge. Your key was Draco’s wand that lay too far away. 

This was nothing like when you and your third year friends had been goofing around, freezing students on their way to classes, knowing the effects would wear off in minutes. Voldemort was skilled and you had no idea how long you would be frozen. You couldn’t even cry, you realized. Your mind was screaming and pounding against every nerve that had been shut down. Begging for something, anything, to shift and set you free. 

Draco was still struggling, promising he’d help you when Voldemort cried, “Avada Kedavra!” He didn’t have time to move, didn’t have time to prepare as the curse hit him, his silver eyes flashing once as they found yours. Then, the spark was gone and Draco Malfoy was hanging limp by your vice grip. Dead. 

You watched as Voldemort grinned, prepared to be next. Yet, the beast turned on his heel, his men following after him as you were left in your place, clinging to Draco. 

“I can still free us, we won’t be stuck here Y/N, just give me a moment,” Draco had been saying before his voice had been stolen from him. He didn’t even see death sneaking towards him, he had only been focused on making sure you were okay. 

Your eyes were fixed forward, unblinking. Yet you could feel the boy you loved growing cold in your hand, his weight heavy against your stiff leg. To see him might be too much. Within the prison that your body had become you were throwing yourself against the cage of your bones, screaming at the muscles and nerves to just fucking work.  

He can’t be dead. I just need to move and see him and he’ll be fine, he’s just unconscious, he’s fine. You kept telling yourself, even if you knew it wasn’t true. Draco’s still alive, my lovely Draco is still alive. 

You would be found by McGonagall once Harry rose from the ashes victorious, your weak body collapsed on top of Draco’s lifeless one. She’d bite her tongue, dragging you up with a strength she had to force. “Come now dear, there is nothing more we can do,” She’d say but you would only be able to reply with one truth that would haunt you every day for the rest of your life.

“It was my fault,” 

Over and over, as the years passed. The same four words as you were forced into St. Mungo’s with no argument, sitting stagnant and letting other’s keep you alive, your own will gone. 

After all, there was more than one way to end someone’s life. 

[voidlitmoon]

One Trainer’s Trash is Another Pokemon's Family

So if you didn't know, i ended up taking a hiates from writing ANYTHING for a bit, but I was just sitting around earlier and thought "huh, there was that oneshot I kinda wanted to write" and BOOM im formating this at 2am when I finished writing so I can just post this in the morning.

Also note me writing this does not mean I'm fully back to writing because I tbh have no clue when I'll be back in full writing mode, a lot of stuff is going on irl around health issues (I'm good dont worry, just trying to figure out this issue so we can fix it) and my mind hasn't been able to put words together into written sentences well recently for anything, so exspect everything and nothing!!

So @sugarglider9603.... enjoy! If anyone seems off its probably because I haven't wrote in like 4 months :D

Ao3 link

Ao3 series link

Master Post

Words: 1,651

Summery: ' "I found a child in the trash!" Trash Eevee declared happily. The Eevee on watch somehow looked skeptical from behind, but curiosity got them to turn around.

Green and brown surprised eyes hit his own, he felt as the others eyes looked him over from his unnaturally purple eyes to dark brown fur.

"I.. I-" the other stammered in surprise.

"Can we keep him?" His founder vibrated, excited. '

 

A chance encounter is about to change three lives forever

“Slow down!” the Eevee hissed to his companion, running through the crowd of humans to catch up. His green and brown eyes swept the crowd, making sure no one grew suspicious and followed the two Eevees, sighing as he thankfully saw everyone's gaze sweep past them, uninterested.

There had been a few incidences when a trainer or a ‘nurse’ had tried to catch them, whether for his strange fur markings, trying to get his friend’s fur cleaned (no one held him for long once that information was leaked), or purely for them being Eevees. He’d heard it all, common lines being “hey are you lost?”, “where is your trainer?”, “is that a wild Eevee?” and of course, the most common

“I’ve got to catch it!”

Heh, no one had succeeded yet, and he didn’t plan that to change any time soon. Or ever.

“Not sorry” the simple line snapped him out of his thoughts as he looked over to the grinning Eevee that probably did need a bath “but I heard yelling in the back alley of the Good Place, and I just have to see if it's new!” The ‘Good Place’ was a restaurant the two constantly saw in their travels from town to town. While they couldn’t read the written name, and wouldn’t dare get close enough to a human to simply know the name when it had no use to them, it always had an identical symbol at every location. It was his trash loving companions (and though he would never admit it, his own as well) favorite location to get food.

“Very well, lead the way” with a flick of their tails, they rounded the last few corners to the back alley where two large dumpsters lay. As a Trubbish scurred off at the sight of them they both leapt up, balancing as they opened one off the lids.

He sat watch as the other squealed and dove in, rummaging through and ripping open plastic bags with sharp teeth. They always had the same parts when working together, he would keep watch making sure no one saw them from the regular path or had any workers walk out the door, while the other would search, eating what he wanted and tossing stuff up to save for later. They had tried to swap jobs once, but it was a mess that nearly got them caught if it wasn’t for his own keen ears, so they kept to their own and worked together.

He glanced at the door, the symbol imprinted on it. Doing this dumpster diving always reminded himself when he was alone. How he’s grateful to have a friend. Actually, doing it at the Good Place always reminded himself when he met the trashy Eevee. It was just after-

A paw swatted at his face, causing him to dodge. He seemed to be falling into nastolga easily today, he thought shaking it out of his fur.

“Did you hear me? I said all these bags have already been looked through” the other huffed “they must have used the other one, which is weird because they usually use the one closer to the door first….” he frowned, confused before brightening “anyways can you help me open the other lid?”

The clean Eevee nodded, hopping across to the other dumpster.

______________________________

 

Sta- he shivered, the angry yells still echoing in his ears. She was so mad when she discovered there was no dragon evolution, when she finally discovered he was completely useless. He glanced at the snapped pokeball at his paws, fallen through a space between a few garbage bags.

 

He knew he had to get out of here, but what was the point? He was with a trainer up till now, and while she was horrible he was still at least alive. But to try and survive on his own? No, he might as well just curl up on this garbage, might as well just

A scene flash in his mind, of a Pecha bush laying under a sprawling indigo sky. Two other faces similar yet different then his, laughing, smiling.

 

He couldn't give up, not yet, not until he could find them again.

 

Chatter and a crash of heavy plastic hitting a wall distracted him from the thoughts racing through his head. He pressed low against the bags, ears flat as he waited. Were there people taking trash out? No.. that didn't sound human, that sounded

 

The lid thunked twice, before late afternoon light poured down onto his dark brown fur. He froze as another pokemon fell down in front of him, another Eevee.

 

He was bigger, though everyone was bigger. His fur seemed to be a normal shade of brown, yet it was hard to tell with all the dirt and dust coating it. He looked up into the newcomer's eyes, surprise and delight filled them to the brim.

 

"Oh? OH!" The other gasped for only a moment before flashing forwards, grabbing him lightly by his scruff and before he knew it St- he was in open air and sat on the hard plastic lid.

 

"Hey hey!" The Eevee scrambled across to another Eevee, his turned back to the both of them. The third Eevee's ear twitched to show they were listening, watching the humans walk by.

 

"I found a child in the trash!" Trash Eevee declared happily. The Eevee on watch somehow looked skeptical from behind, but curiosity got them to turn around.

 

Green and brown surprised eyes hit his own, he felt as the others eyes looked him over from his unnaturally purple eyes to dark brown fur.

 

"I.. I-" the other stammered in surprise.

 

"Can we keep him?" His founder vibrated, excited.

 

"Hmm" seemingly gaining his composure, the one on watch came over to inspect him further, sniffing curiously at his fur "I don't think so, he smells too much of humans" the trash Eevee visibly shrunk.

"No!" He cried, snapping his jaw closed at the sudden speaking "I, I me- mean no, I had a trainer, but I don't have one anymore" he attempted to explain, hissing at himself for stuttering.

 

"I uh" he coughed, attempting to clear his throat, "I, I'm sorry for disturbing your search" he flicked his tail toward the two before curling it around himself, finally looking into the others faces. It was at the moment he noticed the strange markings around the single green eye on the watcher.

 

"It's no problem," the calmer one replied. He looked as if he were about to continue, before the trash Eevee popped "hey, have you gotten food today?"

 

He blinked, thinking about all that happened since dawn. Dawn, when his trai- ex-trainer had learned the news.

 

"I.. haven't?" He tried, not wanting to test his luck. They were strangers, he had to be cautious.

 

"Here!" The other dove back into the trash. He leaned over frantically, thankful to see the pokeball halfs had sunken out of sight. If they ever asked why he was in there, he would just tell them he was looking for food.

No one would find out the true reason. Well.. maybe two others, but that would have to wait till he found them again. He would find them again.

 

The walking trash pile hopped back up, dropping what seemed to be a freshly thrown away berry skewer at his feet.

 

He looked up, alarmed "no, I couldn't-" "oh don't worry" the other's purr sounded like a motorcycle "we'll survive without a few berries."

 

While he was still uncertain, his stomach grumbled with hunger so he bent down and took a bite of closest fully intact berry. When the sweet familiar taste hit his mouth, he barely stopped the tears. Arceus really had to do that, didn't they.

 

"Everything ok?" He looked up from the Pecha berry, the special marked Eevee looking at his watery eyes with concern.

 

"Y-yes, just haven't eaten anything this sweet in a while" he lied quickly, finishing what he could before pushing towards the others "here, might as well not let this go to waste" he smiled.

 

The marked Eevee hummed before taking a bite from a nearby Oran berry.

 

After a bit, the dirty Eevee spoke a question he knew was coming "so, you said you had a trainer, do you have a name?"

 

He paused, thinking, before shaking his head "she never gave me one."

 

The others nodded in understanding. He looked out at the people walking in the street, passing by with no clue of the trio sitting on the dumpsters.

 

He didn’t have a name, not to them at least. To them, he would be the Eevee that they found, the Eevee they took in, the Eevee one day they would realize they see as a brother, the Eevee that would inevitably disappear in the back of a truck

One day there would be another family, they would know him as Virgil, Virgil who they found in the forest, Virgil who followed them everywhere, Virgil who got caught finally by his own free will

But no one would know him as Star but his original family. No one would know him as Star, the being who hatched into the world with an angry scream that was not his own, Star, the one who fell in love with the sky on his first night of his existence, Star, the one who found family and then was ripped away from it in his sleep

Star, who would keep searching till the ends of the Earth to find his family.

 

But for now, he was just a strange looking Eevee in a strange situation, hiding his name from everything and everyone, and that was ok.

 

He glared at the crowd of humans walking by peacefully. There was only one thing left from his life with.. with the Dragon, one thing he would keep

He would never trust another human again.

[chimswae]

BTS Caretaker CH23

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 4, 330

- Author Note: So im late, i will do double update! so please check on next chapter too~ :) thank u for whoever that read my cliche story HAHAHA i have no words to describe how im embarassed i am AHAHHAA anyways ~ 

Previous | Next

Chapter 23

Promotional month embarked the start of everything.  Hectic schedule, unreasonable amount of sleep time in a day, the most would be 2 hours and not to mention the studios and practice rooms would be their second home for the time being. The boys had been practicing non-stop these past few days until their official comeback early in February. This time their popularity soared higher than their previous comeback. It felt like a dream, but the boys did it. Their album sales make it digital or physical had risen drastically in comparison to previous sales.

The impact of Bangtan Sonyeondan to the industry was no joke. More people showed their support and their fanbase grew two times bigger than before in the blink of an eyes. Phenomenal indeed. Overwhelmed by the support, the boys promised to work harder this year to repay Armys’ love. Entering the last week of their You Never Walk Alone promotion, the boys were ready to start their Wings Tour around the globe. Unlike before they went to few continents depending on the demand of the respected country however this time their schedule was utilized for the first half of 2017.

Seul massaged her aching muscle and sunk on the couch with sulky face. The dorm was quiet and cold since none of the boys were home at this time.  They would only be home around dawn to get short nap before heading to their next schedule early in the morning. Following the change of their schedule, Seul would take an evening shift and went to their place right after her shift. So, she could prepare advanced breakfast for them. It became her routine to come around 2 in the morning and stayed for two hours or more, making sure the boys got a proper breakfast despite their busy schedule.

Mrs Hwang on the other hand was well informed pertaining to Seul’s unusual activity and she would make Hoon, more like force his son to pick her sister up every day from work. World is a scary place, she did not want to risk Seul’s life though that girl was the one who insisted to change her caretaking schedule out of sudden.

Glancing on her phone screen, she decided to call it a day since it was already 3 A.M and surprisingly she managed to pull her work within an hour. Seul had informed Hoon in advance so the younger guy would not pick her up considering he had exam the next day. She did not want to be blame for his bad performance later on.

“Should I watch Tae’s drama to kill time?” grinning to herself, Seul made up her mind to catch the latest episode. As she expected, the boys had recorded every episode up till the latest one.

What a supportive boyfriend!

It took Seul a moment to remember the last episode she watched, then it came to her realization she was following the drama diligently every week. Seul never missed any episode since she watched this with her mother. Of course, her mother would watch it, we were talking about her so-called adoptive son on screen.

Satisfied with her choice, Seul sat with her leg cross on the couch gleefully. She was excited to see different side of Taehyung on screen. A side which could only be seen on screen. Indeed, BTS V nailed it so perfectly. There were times Taehyung would give her a call as soon as his drama aired that particular day just to hear her opinion. She couldn’t understand why her opinion matter in this anyways.

 “Seul-seul! Did you watch?” Taehyung’s voice croaked in happiness. Apart from his members comment, Taehyung anticipated Seul’s point of view every week caused him to automatically give the girl a call after a new episode aired.

Seul laughed softly at Taehyung’s weird antic “I watched it Tae” he hummed. “So how was it this week?” he chewed his lower lips knowing how bluntly honest she could be. Taehyung valued her honesty even though sometimes Seul would never leave her sassiness behind, he didn’t care. He basically grew up with Min Suga’s sarcasm so to hear something similar from Seul, he was already immune to it.

“Hurm.. do you want to hear the good one or the bad one first?” she poked fun making Taehyung pouted in his seat.

“I want to hear good one first” Seul could imagine Taehyung’s pouty lips as a protest whenever he was forced to make a complicated choice.

Pressing her lips together to suppress her laughter, Seul regained her composure to have a decent conversation with him “You are certainly better if we were to compare with the episode which you first appeared. You look natural and comfortable with your character now. As I mentioned before, I like how you portray your emotions through your deep eyes. It is not a joke. How did you do that?” she professed earnestly.

Her compliments flustered him “Urm…Thank you..You are flattering me”

“I am not..You really did well Tae. Don’t tell me you are blushing” she teased.

“YAH I AM NOT! Alright, I am ready to hear the bad one” Taehyung murmured under his breath with hope it was not as nasty as her first comment back then. “Listen carefully Kim Taehyung, I am about to say something that might hurt your heart” the tone of her voice was stern and cold.

“Ji Seul you are scaring me! Stop sounding so serious”

“I am trying to, okay give me a moment” he heard her heavy breathing at the end of the line as if she was in the middle of night work out. What was on her mind?

“Tae-ah..I think you are too adorable for me to handle. Shouldn’t Hansung be manlier?”

Taehyung gasped “Is that an insult?” her small giggle tickled his heart. “Or is it your way complimenting me?” he pressed. There were times he craved for this kind of attention from Seul, made him feel normal guy around his age. To have a simple conversation with a friend gave him tranquillity.

“Will you take that as an insult since you really hated cutesy stuff nowadays?”

“Armys think I am cute. I will live with that if it comes from Armys and you. Yah, I am serious. Tell me right now what is my flaw?” he insisted.

Seul shook her head “Couldn’t find it. You are a rookie, but you are doing great. My mom thinks your acting is real and she really into it. Don’t ask me who is her favourite character, because she is choosing you over Minho. Aren’t that too much that she’s giving extra attention on you?” Taehyung beamed.

“Why? Are you jealous that Ahjumma favours me more than you?”

“I am used to it, Bangtan boys this, Bangtan boys that. You can take my mom’s love, I have Eodeng and Eomuk to love me” he cringed at the response. “Ew, that simply means you have Jin hyung’s love. Those two brats are the mini Kim Seokjin” she rolled her eyes in process.

She retorted sarcastically “Who are you calling brat? You are the brat!”

 She found herself smiling at the memories, being with Taehyung made her comfortable. Something that she could feel whenever she’s with Jin and Hoseok. Returning her attention back to the screen, Seul watched the drama and clasped her hand excitedly.  A silly smile would appear on her face every time Taehyung appeared on screen along with small awe in between.

Few months ago, she ridiculed the power of Bangtan Sonyeondan on her now as time passed it slowly turned her into a fan. Guess, she was being supportive of her friends.

Yes, supportive sounds fitting.

 ------------------

“Sejin hyung quick quick my bladder is about to explode” Jimin whiney voice filled the emptiness of the hallway. Other members stood sleepily behind him. Meanwhile, Jimin was getting impatient to finish his business inside. “Gosh, why are you so whiney” he pressed the button hurriedly, entering the password.

As soon as Jimin heard the beep, he squished his small body between the door and Sejin and ran inside ignoring the older guy that were already pressed against the wall.“That kid!” Sejin hissed while shaking his head. He gave a soft pat on Jungkook back, making the maknae moved inside with a big yawn “Get some sleep everyone, you need to be ready in 4 hours” he ordered.

Jungkook screeched softly feeling his muscle stiffened at the sight before him “Seul?” he stared in disbelief. Sleeping peacefully on the couch was Seul with Hwarang still running in the background. A soft smile spread across his face since the last time he saw her was two weeks ago. He almost lost his balance when he felt someone crashed against his body from back, Kim Taehyung groaned in frustration.

“Yah, Gukkie why are you blocking the way” his bangs were poking his eyes making it hard for him to see the obstacle in front of him. Furthermore, in this sleepy state everything appeared irrelevant to him except for his comfortable bed. Confused, Taehyung’s eyes followed Jungkook and upon it landed on Seul’s figure, his eyes widened in sheer surprise.

“Seul? Seul is here?” he spoke lowly fully aware that their manager was still there.

“What should we do? Sejin hyung is here!” Jungkook started to panic. The hyungs made their entrance with questionable look but soon they gawked at the scene in front of them. It would be a huge trouble if their manager found out about Seul. The chances of her being fired was high.

It is 5 A.M why is she not home? Yoongi cursed, taking a glance at Sejin whom thankfully still at the doorstep gathering bags in process. Everyone was trying to come up with ways to hide Seul or to face Sejin’s wrath in a minute. Without wasting any time, Taehyung marched forward taking Seul in his arm casually surprising everybody in the room.

“What are you doing?” Yoongi inquired with concern look.

“We need to hide her”

“Yes, but where?”

“Lets just bring her to my room” Taehyung suggested earning a low protest from Yoongi and Jin. Nonetheless, they followed him afterwards.

Seul stirred in her sleep a little and snuggled her face at the crook of his neck, liking the familiar smell and warmth. Even in her sleep, she knew how to play with his heart. Taehyung tried to control himself from smiling foolishly as his main concern right now was to hide Seul from Sejin.

“I will distract Sejin hyung” Jungkook blurted out and quickly dashed to the main door followed by Hoseok behind. Namjoon and Jin assisted Taehyung to his room, opening the door for him so he could move Seul to safer place.

 “Hyung I forgot my headphones!” “Me too I forgot my-my game console!” Hoseok and Jungkook hollered in unison causing the older guy to eye them suspiciously.

He wiggled his finger to his headphone which hang loosely around his neck “That is your headphone Hobi and as for you Jungkook, I didn’t see you play any games today let alone having your game console with you” closing the door behind him, he placed the bags on the floor.

Hoseok gulped nervously exchanging nervous look with Jungkook “Urm…Sorry I seem to forget, but really I forgot something in the van!” he tried his luck one more time to convince Sejin. They knew it was not easy to lie on his face since he could read them so easily. Their manager knew when the boys were hiding something, like right now.

“I smell fear and lies. What are you hiding from me?” he quirked his brows prying answers out from the two boys before him.  

“Nothing, nothing” Jungkook palmed his hand against the wall awkwardly with a sheepish smile. He heard the commotion behind him meaning the hyungs were doing something about Seul, though he had no idea how much time they needed for him to stall their manager.

“If it is nothing, why are you blocking my way? Is there something that I shouldn’t see?”

Hoseok held both his palm out while cracking a nervous chuckle in between “Jimin.. I mean Jimin peed in his pant and it is disgusting. We have to clean the floor first. It is dirty, you can’t walk” Hoseok facepalmed at his idiotic ideas. It sounded ridiculous.

“YAH WHO PEED IN PANTS?” clueless Jimin exited the bathroom as his eyes threw daggers at Hoseok way. Hoseok grinded his teeth together chasing Jimin away from the scene but of course he would not budge even an inch. Park Jimin was persistent to begin with. He never let anyone taint his name.

Jungkook rubbed the back of his head in frustration ‘Jimin-ssi, can you be a little cooperative. Why out of all time’ the manager did not buy the boys lies so he forced himself inside. Being tall giving him advantage to dominate the boys. His eyes scanned the empty living room with suspicion whilst Jimin, Jungkook and Hoseok were having their secret banter behind.

“The caretaker came to clean the place?” he noticed the cleanliness of the place as he made his way to the kitchen. “I guess…” Hoseok murmured silently.

“Jimin-ssi, Seul is here we are trying to stall him! You are ruining the plan” Jungkook whispered under his breath making the shorter guy gasped realizing his own mistake. When he dashed inside, he didn’t catch a glimpse of anyone in the dorm. If and only he realized it sooner this thing could be prevented. The three musketeers kept their eyes on the manager hyung whom busy inspecting every corner of their place.

Namjoon, Jin and Yoongi exited Taehyung’s room as their eyes spotted the three boys stood in line with their hands neatly together, they shot them a bewildered look “Yah are you crazy! Don’t act suspicious, hyung might find out!” Namjoon scowled lowly afraid that the older guy overheard him.

“Get into your room now and act naturally” Jin mouthed them. The three musketeers scurried off almost bumping into each other before each of them got into their room without trouble. The sound of heavy footstep alarmed the remaining members, and they decided to avoid their manager at all cost.

 On the other hand, Taehyung had already changed into his pyjamas in order to appear more convincing in case their manager decided to appear magically in his room. From time to time he threw a nervous glance at the door feared to witness an unwelcoming sight. Judging from the message in their group chat, Sejin was inspecting every nook and cranny of the dorm started from Jungkook. Taehyung’s room is a room away from him that scared the shit out of him.

He stared at Seul while trying to find perfect way to hide her from their manager. “Screw this” caressing his fluffy hair out of frustration, he turned off the main light and slipped under the cover beside Seul. Taehyung bit his lower lips, apologizing non-stop since he was about to initiate something inappropriate. The girl was unconscious, and he was literally touching her without her consent.

She will understand, she will. Taehyung prayed in his head that Seul would not wake up until this nerve wrecking scene ended.

“Fuck” his eyes rounded upon seeing the shadow behind the creak of his door. Using his long hand to reach the lamp on his night stand, he switched off swiftly. Taehyung pulled the cover under his chin, wrapping one of his arm securely around Seul’s waist. His heart pounded due to the proximity and it doubled when he heard Sejin’s footstep approaching his room.

His body froze when he felt Seul making a slight move in his embrace. On the bright side, she’s not awake however her face was buried deeply in his chest. The heavy lump on his throat caused his breath to hitch.

Ji Seul, what are you.

“Taehyung-ah, are you asleep” Taehyung snapped out his thought, and brought Seul’s body closer to him. He shut his eyes tight pretended to sleep with hope they wouldn’t get caught by their manager today. Not today, they couldn’t risk losing Seul.

Sejin twisted the door knob, poking his head inside. He squeezed his eyes to adjust to the darkness “Guess, he is asleep. That was fast” he mumbled. Taehyung’s mind overloaded with negative thoughts and his heart thumped crazily that he swore the eerie silence in his room adding the tension. The sound of the footsteps sounded so close yet unclear. He was sure it was just few steps closer from his bed. Like a reflex, Taehyung tightened his arm around Seul’s keeping her close.

Exasperating a soft sigh, he was relieved when the sound of the footsteps faded away. The soft slam came from the door convinced Taehyung that his manager had left the room, yet he did not want risk getting caught, so he stayed like a statue for few minutes. Taehyung grinned upon hearing Sejin’s faint voice behind the door “Park Jimin, I told you to sleep. Why are you still standing there?” Sejin frowned.

Jimin cleared his throat awkwardly “Is..Tae asleep?”

“Yes, his room is dark, and I bet he is asleep”

“D-d-dark what?” Jimin continued to curse something vulgar in his head. After finding out Seul was in Taehyung’s room he couldn’t help but to worry. It triggered his protective instinct and jealousy. He couldn’t let his guard down just because Taehyung is his best friend even though Tae was never vocal about his feelings for Seul, his man’s instinct could not be wrong. Something bloomed whenever they were together.

The older guy snapped him out from his deep thought “What is wrong with you? Go sleep and stop worrying about Tae. Clock is ticking Jiminie, you don’t want to miss even an hour worth of sleep” he exclaimed.

“Fine, I am sleeping” his lower lips puckered out of habit.

“I will be here around 10, make sure everyone is ready by then” Jimin nodded obediently and threw a final glance at Taehyung’s door. Everything will be fine, Jimin convinced his racing heart.  

 ----------------

Groggily, Seul forced her heavy lids to open and that when she realized the unusual warmth behind her. Seul squinted her eyes one last time in order for her foggy brain to function properly. A small light from the curtain illuminated the dark room but was not enough for Seul to get a clear view of it. On top of all, she was beyond relief that her outfits were still intact, remain untouchable. Meaning no funny business happened. At least, she was not kidnapped by some sasaeng fans, she hoped.

‘I swear I was in the living room watching Hwarang’ she grew frustrated of her failure in retrieving her memory. Seul couldn’t recall whether the boys were back home or not. Shrugging her unimportant thought away, Seul fisted the sheets under her gathering her courage to face the individual behind her.

Seul, move slowly don’t wake up the tiger.

Shifting under the sheet, she changed her position slightly to face Taehyung. In 3,2,1 she was ready to see whoever beside her but to her surprise, someone was cradling her head halting her earlier intention to catch the culprit.

“Seul, you awake?” his voice trailed off. She recognized that voice.

Seul touched his hand “Jungkook?” she whispered in daze.

His low yet squeaky chuckle made her smile “Yes, it is me. Come on let’s get up quietly. We don’t want to wake Tae hyung” Jungkook stroked his hand down to her waist, slowly sweeping her off from the bed.

Setting Seul down on the ground, she inquired “Tae? I am in his room. How?” Jungkook let out another adorable giggle, embracing her tight. “You fell asleep while watching hyung’s drama. Let’s talk outside” while keeping Seul in his embrace, they exited Taehyung’s room at ease.

She pulled away making an abrupt stop facing the giggly maknae, why was he in good mood today. “Tell me why I am in Tae’s room? I thought I was kidnapped!” she pursed her lips in annoyance.

“Sejin hyung was here, so we had no choice but to hide you”

“Hiding me in Taehyung’s room? How clever” she wheezed.

“Then you wish to be in my room instead?” Jungkook look amused as playful smirk spread on his handsome face.

She squirmed under his intense gaze “I didn’t mean it that way, you could wake me up. I can hide in the closet and leave afterwards” he sent a disapproval glare at her way.

“No way we are making you walk alone at that time, now stop complaining” he took few steps forward, pulling the sulky girl into another tight hug. Jungkook nuzzled the top of her head, exhaling a low sigh “I miss you” he murmured.

Her heart did the weird dance again, “You woke up early today, I thought you were not an early riser” she wrapped her arms around him, returning the hug with equal passion. “You think I can sleep knowing you’re sleeping on the same bed as Tae hyung?” he said sulkily.

Seul giggled “Are you jealous? Then, I blame it on you for letting Tae got into the way” her tease making the visible frown on his forehead two times thicker. She looked up “Aigoo, you may develop wrinkles at this age” her hand smoothed his eyebrows, giving it a soft caress along the shape.

Closing his eyes with a soft hum, Jungkook let himself drown under Seul’s magic touch “You are losing your baby fat again. I don’t like that” she gave his cheek a soft stroke with a slight frown.

“Don’t worry I will earn that back after our promotion ended. Besides, I had a good breakfast every day thanks to you. Did you come late at night for your work just to prepare those meal for us?” he pecked her fingers, interlacing it with his.

“You guys are barely home so I thought it is wise to change my caretaking schedule a little. On the bright side, I can prepare breakfast for you guys. I bet Jin had no time to prepare proper food for all of you, I don’t want to wear him out” her eyes glimmered in concern. The mere thought of filling seven empty stomach washed away the worries in her.

Jungkook protested “But that’s mean you will be walking home alone, and it is not safe”

“About that, my mom made Hoon picked me up from work every day. Don’t worry, I will be fine. Worry about yourself, you need to eat healthily. Stop skipping meals” she cringed. “I saw your Vlive, all of you look dead tired. And, I am sorry I couldn’t make it to your Wings tour last week. I had to fill in for Sera” she sighed.

His hand skimmed, featherlight, over her shoulders “It is okay, it is just the opening tour this year, I will make sure you attend the next one. Hobi hyung and Jin hyung were not happy that you couldn’t make it to our concert. However since you bribed them with food the day after, they lowkey claimed that it was okay for you not to attend as long as you prepared yummy food to make it up to them” she chuckled at their silliness.

“As expected, how easy it was to persuade those two. Don’t remind me the long ass text that they sent to me showing off their protest and resentment” Seul’s face scrunched a little at the vivid memories. Jungkook laughed along and the couple continued their conversation in the kitchen. Seul reheat the food for the boys to savour when they woke up with Jungkook’s help.

“I think I need to go before your manager come. Oh, say hi to everyone” she hung her apron carefully and gathered her belongings. Meanwhile, Jungkook continued to sulk behind, “Can’t you stay for breakfast? It is still early, hyung will be here around 10” his voice was a little more than a whisper but in cutesy way.

She flashed him a soft smile “I can’t Jungkook maybe next time. I have an errand to run” he watched her back as she made her way to the entrance. “I want to meet you again before we fly off to America next month” Jungkook leaned against the wall with one hand inside his pocket.

She saw the disappointment in his eyes, so she walked up to him. Dazed Jungkook set his eyes on Seul as the girl tiptoed a little giving a soft peck on his lips “There. I will see you around, don’t miss me too much” a sweet rush of embarrassment coursed through Jungkook.

“O..kay..” his eyes sparkled causing Seul to chuckle. Jungkook might be a little blunt in showing his affection towards her, but whenever she initiated the skinship first, the guy would turn into a total baby.

Seul was about to push the door getting ready to leave but only to be greeted by Sejin’s confused face. She felt an extreme fear in her system, was she caught for real now? Fuck, she muttered.

“Who are you?” he pushed the door wider to see Jungkook stood frozen behind Seul with an extremely disturbed face.

“Hyung…You are urm.. early?” his voice broke into a small shriek.

Quirking his eyebrows, the older guy stepped inside closing the door behind him carefully “You have a long explanation to do Jeon Jungkook. To the lounge now. I want everyone in the room. 5 minutes” his voice was rough and Seul felt like pissing in her jeans.

Seul swallowed a heavy lump on her throat “When I said everyone, that includes you Miss” he pushed the glass back on the bridge of his nose, leaving astounded Jungkook and Seul behind. Jungkook made eye contact with Seul and they exchanged looks of panic and questions.

   This work belongs to  Chimswae © 2020. All Rights Reserved

[rokutouxei]

the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

ikemen vampire: temptation through the dark theo van gogh / mc | T | [ ao3 link in bio ]

The challenge seemed pretty simple: to try to befriend the university bookshop’s most sour employee, Theo van Gogh. As a literature major with a boatload of book recommendations on her back, it ought to be a simple task indeed. But as she uncovers what lies between Theo’s pages, the more she finds it harder to become closer to him without having to put the feeling directly into words. What can she learn from Theo about what it means to stay—and how can she teach Theo about what it means to let go? | written for ikevamp big bang 2020!

[ masterpost for all chapters ]

CHAPTER 9 OF 22

You will let my tender hook Catch the folded darkness inside you, let me occupy The dented place at the base of your throat. - "One Life", Carlomar Arcangel Daoana

--

She wakes up late.

Comically late.

No hangover, thank god—but it’s 11am and she’s dressed in lent pajamas in a bed that isn’t her own. She shoots up to sitting position in a second, and standing in a minute, trudging out the room to the bathroom at the end of the hall.

By the time she’s up and out of the room, a little more awake, Dazai and Arthur have already long gone, the only remnants of their presence the bit of glitter that they had wiped onto the sofa they nestled in.

And text messages.

She squints when she reads it, not because she had a hard time reading what it said, but—because she couldn’t believe what it said.

A series of text messages from Dazai:

[ 7:23 | Dazai ] ur still asleep but ur friend kinda hot

[ 7:24 | Dazai ] ofc I woke up first but his eyelashes tho???

[ 8:32 | Dazai ] pls tell me he’s not a douche bc im rly gonna jump him

[ 9:03 | Dazai ] mgonna jump him

[ 10:19 | Dazai ] abt to find out if he’s got the magnum sized dong u promised

Oh, god, what has she done.

With a groan, she heads down the hallway, phone securely in the pocket of the sweatpants, to see Vincent and Theo preparing a meal in the kitchen; Theo preparing some sort of fillet (fish? Chicken?) and Vincent frying some onions and garlic on the stove, filling the kitchen with a nice aroma.

“Good morning,” she says softly, as she shuffles onto one of the dining table chairs.

“Thought you died,” Theo says with a snort; but once he turns around to face her, all derision goes away in his face and is replaced by a quiet surprise.

Vincent beams as he turns to get the fillets from Theo. (It’s chicken.) “Good morning. Did you sleep well? No headache?”

She shakes her head. “Nope, I’m good. Thanks for letting me sleep here last night and for the clothes.”

“Of course, no problem at all,” Vincent answers, turning back to the pan. The chicken makes a sizzle as it meets the oil.

Theo is still staring at her with an odd look on his face.

“Earth to Theo?” she calls out, waving her hand in front of her. “Something wrong?”

“Broer. Why did you lend her my clothes.”

Oh.

“You know how most my shirts are, paint-stained in all the weird places.”

She feels the cling of the cotton around her skin so differently, so suddenly. Oh.

“She wouldn’t have minded, she was drunk.”

That’s correct, but—

Vincent smiles at Theo, the kind of smile one makes when they can see through someone; she’s filled with a kind of relief at knowing that Vincent can do that to Theo. Maybe the man isn’t an impenetrable a character after all. “No need to be shy, Theo.”

“I am not,” he insists, finally tearing his gaze away from her and heading to the sink to wash the used chopping board and the knife. “I just don’t want her wearing my stuff.”

She smirks. He is shy. True, she didn’t get the opportunity to think about what she was putting on last night because she was so tired and knocked out by the alcohol, but…if that was the price she had to pay to see this side of Theo she doesn’t have the opportunity to witness often, then it was worth it. Oh, the ever put-together Theo, brought to his knees by only one person in the world, the one he trusts the most: his brother.  “Is it because your personality is contagious?” she teases, “wouldn’t want to catch that.”

He answers her with a glare. “Reverse. It’s your stupidity that’s contagious.”

“Oh, we’re pretty much equally as stupid, Theo. No need to worry.”

“We are not,” he says, and then Vincent elbows him carefully.

“You really should be a little gentler to your friends,” Vincent comments, as he turns the fillet onto its other side.

Theo grumbles something unintelligible and it makes her laugh. Sitting in the kitchen, watching the two brothers side by side with their back to her as they prepare—she checks the clock—lunch for the three of them, she hums, content. She’s lived alone for all her life here in the campus, and it was one she looked forward to after living in a house crammed with people for most of her life. But sitting here, watching them share the chores and maybe have a little banter with each other—makes her reconsider that maybe, maybe settling down in even the worst of places isn’t that horrible when you’re in good company.

Theo opens the plate cupboard and hands her a set of it with some cutlery. “Set the table at least, freeloader?” He says, though his voice lacks all the venom his words otherwise had.

Okay, she’ll have to reconsider if Theo counts as “good company.”

--

Theo barely survives lunch with her and his brother because of how much he gets teased by the two. He might argue that this is worse than being stuck with her and Arthur because since it is Vincent, he does not get the leeway to have a comeback, only able to grumble in displeasure at being see-through. They stuff their bellies not only with Vincent’s famed chicken with herbs but also with a hefty amount of laughter.

She slides back (slightly disgusted) into her costume to walk back home in, confident that many other students will be trudging along the streets suffering the same fate. (“Not everyone wakes up as late as you.” “There’s bound to be at least one, right?”) When she comes out of the bathroom, there’s a book on top of his neatly-folded clothes.

They speak at the same time.

“I could wash these first before giving it back if you—” “You had that with you all this time?”

Silence.

She breaks it with a laugh. “Yeah, it was a Saturday. I didn’t want to break the schedule.”

“You get so thorough about the weirdest things,” he comments, but he takes the bundle in her arms anyway. “It’s alright, I’ll have them. Let me get you a book, too.”

She follows Theo into the studio, where he crouches in front of some bookshelves. Vincent peeps from behind his easel. “You should walk her home,” he offers, as Theo pulls a few books out of the shelf.

“No, it’s alright, I’ll be fine! I’m not drunk or dizzy. The walk will help clear my head.”

“It’s twenty minutes out,” Theo points out, getting up.

“Just promise that if you find me asleep on the street you’ll pick me up?”

Handing Murakami’s Dance, Dance, Dance to her, Theo grins. “I can’t promise that.”

“Oh, Theo, you know you will.”

Even when she is long out of his sight, the smile on his face does not go away. Even as the day shifts into mundanity. Even as he’s carting a bagful of clothes to the launderette. Even as he picks up some groceries on the way home. Even as he prepares dinner for Vincent, who is a few hours deep into painting.

Maybe for a moment, it goes away, but—

He thinks of her and the smile comes back full force.

--

She spends the rest of Sunday recovering and hiding away in her room after the very socially draining party, but by Monday she’s hopped onto her bike and headed for the literature club’s little gazebo. She’s left a message for Dazai, asking for company. Sure, they spent quite a lot of time together in the past week, after having jumped through thrift stores and boutiques for the perfect Night Circus costume (and yes, she made him read the book beforehand too, for good measure) but Saturday was quite a day. She’s brought a couple of cookies for sharing with him, sitting at their usual spot, looking out at the quadrangle next to it.

“Toshiko-san! Sorry we kept you waiting!”

The plural takes her off guard, and she turns to find that Dazai has brought a rather distracted-looking Isaac along, his hands in the pockets of his slacks. Isaac is always dressed so well—she supposes it’s part of the uniform or something of being seen as a respectable professor—but she sure does want to see him dress down once. T-shirt, shorts, that kind—Isaac seems to take everything too seriously.

The pleasant feeling of seeing a friend she hasn’t met up with in a long time is quickly replaced by confusion, as the science complex is nowhere near the Arts building. “Nice to see you here, Isaac,” she says, but also with the lilt of a question.

Dazai answers said question. “He’s here because he has nothing better to do, so I asked him to come.”

Isaac makes a face that’s both resignation and panic. “He passed by my office.” –and dragged me out because he wouldn’t take no for an answer, she finishes in her head.

“I see,” she answers, even though that’s not really an explanation in itself.

She knows Isaac through Dazai, and Dazai knows Isaac through a very peculiar class: Occultism 101.

A class team-taught by three major colleges in the university—the College of Arts, the College of Science, and the College of Social Sciences—Occultism 101 is one of the more controversial classes on campus because of its nature. It goes through a long history of the evolution and persistence of supernatural beliefs and practices among nations in the world, in that nice gray area between religion and science. There are only two kinds of students in Occultism 101: those who believe and who are genuinely interested, and those who do not believe and would like to spend an entire semester saying “bah! That’s not true!” to themselves all the time.

Occultism 101 is typically taught by professors from the College of Social Sciences and College of Arts with backgrounds in religious practices and other mystical behavior (whether in history or art), and then occasionally, in the middle of the semester, guest lecturers from the College of Science come in to give lectures on how these “supernatural events” may be explainable through scientific means. Say, how the piping system in a building can cause haunted “cold spots”, or how floating dust particles can come up in a photograph as “orbs”, or the likes.

And she doesn’t want to be very stereotypical about it, but a lot of people in the College of Science are pretty… well, square, and so no one really wants to teach Occultism 101, even if it’s only a few meetings in a semester. This is how this job ends up to unwilling, no-choice Ph.D. students such as Isaac.

It was just his luck that Dazai was in the section he taught.

“So, Osamu, care to tell us about your little date last Sunday?” she asks, as the other two have taken their seats across her. Dazai swoons a little at the mention of Sunday. Isaac looks at him with unsureness.

(Isaac has had the miserable experience of being the victim of Dazai’s flirtation at some point in time. One can see how that has instead simmer into a rather tentative friendship. All is well.)

Dazai rests his elbows on the table and places his chin on the palms of his hands. “He’s so dreamy.”

“No he isn’t,” she swiftly replies, without thought.

But Dazai pretends not to have heard it. “He’s not looking for a serious relationship though,” he adds. “Not that I am, either.”

“You aren’t?”

“No, sweetie,” Dazai explains. “But he’s my type and I’m his type and we couldn’t just leave it at that so I have his number now, and a little… arrangement.”

The word hangs in between them, swaying.

Oh no, that’s not any good. “What arrangement.”

“You don’t need to sound so concerned.”

“This is Arthur we’re talking about,” she insists, and the name makes Isaac flinch a little.

“Doyle, the med student?” Isaac asks, and she turns to him, blinking.

“You know him?” Remembering Arthur during the party, her mouth falls into a small o. “He knows you too, doesn’t he?”

Isaac scoffs. “Who in this university doesn’t?” Arthur’s pretty well-known to be a flirt. Something like having a checklist of bedding at least one person in every department—a rumor that would have been a little more shameful if the rumors also didn’t say how he was so good at it.

She nods. “Well, fair enough.”

“No, no, he’s an absolute sweetheart to me, so it’s definitely a you problem,” Dazai insists. “It’s just a friendship with benefits, yanno?” He emphasizes every of the following syllables with his tone and his hands: “Nice, big, hefty benefits.”

And even Isaac, who usually refrains from commenting no matter how much he has to say, has to quip with “Terrible choice, really.”

And she has to agree. “I respect you, but not your taste, Osamu.”

Dazai grins. “Understandable.” He picks up one of the sandwiches she’s prepared. “You make it sound like I’m the only one making bad decisions though.”

“Excuse me?”

He turns to Isaac. “You should have gone to the Halloween party. She brought her little boy toy.”

She scoffs. “He is not my boy toy.”

“You sure do have him around your finger though, getting in matching costumes and all that,” Dazai says. “Spends Saturdates with him all the time.”

The only strategy that will work in times like these is straight-up ignoring him. “Anyway—” she begins, about to steer the conversation away when Isaac speaks up.

“It’s nice to hear you’re getting close to other people,” he says softly. Isaac has a way of speaking that makes it always seem like he’s spent so much time thinking about what he said before he actually said it; so sometimes it’s hard to gauge if he’s saying it casually or entirely seriously.

So she blinks. “You make it seem like I have no friends, Isaac.”

“I-It’s not that!” he suddenly blurts. Ah, there. There’s the usual Isaac. “You’ve spent so much time focusing on your work lately, it’s nice to know you’re relaxing with other people sometimes.”

And he doesn’t say it, but she sure does hear it: the you haven’t been to the astronomy club in a while and it’s made me worried about you.

She doesn’t go religiously, but she used to attend fairly often to hang out with the other members and just look up at the stars. Isaac tries to organize at least two sessions in a month, one to look at the moon, and another to point at the stars. She hasn’t been able to catch them in a bit.

But then, slowly, as the image of the view outside the astronomy club’s hangout is refreshed in her mind, the way the physics building rooftop is just high enough to provide a good view of the rest of the campus below, the city downtown, just at the right place on campus that at night, the rest of the sprawling town’s streetlights trickle out like golden LED veins through the threes—an idea begins to implant itself into her head.

Taking root immediately.

She likes to go up here to think. She really shouldn’t have had permission to go up there on her own, in her free time, since they have rules about club hours and the likes, but Isaac is a close friend and gave her a spare key, so she can come and go as she pleases. And sure, the Grove is a nice, quiet place for book clubs and maybe doing homework if one doesn’t need an electric socket, but up here in the astronomy club’s “the Rooftop”, she feels like she can float away into the vast ocean of her thoughts and get lost in them for a moment.

She feels small up there. And that’s a good feeling.

She won’t tell it to Isaac’s face but it’s one of the primary reasons why she applied for the astronomy club in the first place. The stars are great no matter how dumb she is at physics, but the view—it’s really something else.

What does the world look like from the point of view of a star? How tiny are human lives in the vast expanse of the universe? How long have these stars been out there, how long will they stay out there, how much longer will they stay in this universe more than we will?

…This is why Theo teases her for being a literature major: all these goddamn metaphors.

And for a split second, she thinks…

Maybe it isn’t that bad to share that same quiet space with him?

…You know, to talk books.

“About that…”

Isaac and Dazai turn to her.

“Mind if I sneak in an outsider to the Roof?” she asks, facing Isaac with genuine hope in her voice.

Isaac only shrugs. “Do as you please,” he says casually, taking a cookie from her little box on the table.

And she grins like he’d just given her the light of the world. “Thank you, Isaac.”

Dazai shakes his head, because he knows she’s got no denying herself out of this one the next time.

[cupidssrosses]

i. love. ship. playlists.

so, i know for a FACT that im not the only one that uses songs to picture scenarios with a pairing i really love. like, sometimes im so set on the idea of a ship that i have to rewrite the entire show in my brain, rework it so that they end up together logically. songs are always so good to visualise too. harringrove is the BEST for this, because the show itself uses scenes set to 80s music all the time. 

anywho, this is a really longwided way of saying hey heres my harringrove playlist enjoy :)

this song has always been made for a scene where tension has to slowly build.

so, instead of the scene with billy and neil happening at the end of the season when theres much more world-end-y  things to deal with, it happens earlier. 

the  scene happens, billy goes to find max and ends up finding steve and the kids in that junkyard. 

“am i dreaming or is that you harrington”

(really rushed) “yeah its me dont cream your pants what the FUCK are you doing here hargrove you have to leave right now”

billy won’t shut the fuck up so steve has to cover his mouth and try to push him into the bus. then we hear a demidog, steve gives up on billy and gets ready to fight, quietly hands billy a broken pole or something just in case. 

the song starts from 0:00 right when billy sees the demidog, the camera pans in on his face, just so confused and scared, processing what hes seeing. then he joins the fight, he and steve back to back protecting the kids. this leads to billy being part of the gang, at least in some respects. hes strong as fuck and now they have to fill him in on the circumstances now so hes around more often to help. he wants to protect max, but also be near/protect steve. 

so ! during subsequent fights/situations, billy and steve get a little closer, damn they’re not in love but hey they’re getting more comfortable and theres deeeefinitely some mutal attraction, the energy from those shower and basketball scenes hasn’t gone away. if steves the mother figure billys the dad. 

on the “i need a hero” (BAM) part that leads into the chorus, billy saves steve with some kind of big action you know? RIGHT on the beat i swear i get chills every time i picture it to this song. like he pushes something off of him or pull him out of the way really suddenly after running reaaaallly fast to get to him. right after it cuts to steve looking all suprised and impressed while billy keeps fighting. 

same applies to the part that goes “watched out here i COME” in the second song, except its steve saving billy. 

since two thousand and fucking 17 ive seen this song as billys image of steve. it always sounded like his thoughts about him. 

this is one of the first moments billy realises he might really REALLY like steve. hes not just horny he might actually love this moron. at around 2:07 when all the instrumental goes away and its mainly the drums, thats when it happens. 

hes picking steve up from somewhere. theyve been spending more time together as buddies. he apologised for being a dick, theyve had some more serious conversations. hes taking him to hang out with the kids, maybe he just needed a ride home from school or work. anyway, its golden hour. hes waiting to see him and hes weirdly nervous, more than he ever was waiting to pick up a date with one of the hawkins girls.

and then he sees steve walk out onto the street, or come around the corner.

his heart STOPS. steve just looks so beautiful. the light hitting his hair. he smiles at someone he knows as the walk by. billys just HIT with hoe much he loves this stupid moron and his stupid fucking smile.

steves looking around for the car and looks so. happy. when he sees billy, billy smiles back. its been a while since hes smiled that genuinely. 

billy really really part of gang now. this might be sometime after the final events of season 2 i think?? billys saved them all, had a lot of experiences, hes built up some trust with the group and it feels normal that hes there. hes part of the family, and thats what this songs about. 

it night time, theyre at steves house, all the kids, nancy, jonathen, etc. some are swimming, everyones dancing, things feel a little more okay. 

at around 1:54, (again im a sucker for stripping away most of the instrumental and relying on a few key sounds, including loud drums) billy looks around. he has for one of the first times in a while this sense of FAMILY and ACCEPTANCE and SAFETY.

theres all these shots of everyone having fun, like 2 or 3 cuts, then to steve. just standing there laughing, hairs all wet from the pool, towel around his shoulders. he looks over, catches billys eye, gives him a smile, it feels like he knows what hes thinking, and he feels the same way. 

same night, during the part build up that starts at around 2:53, everyones trying to get billy to dance, hes been smoking on one of the pool chairs, not antisocial just not dancing. not his thing. plus he doesnt want to look like an idiot infront of steve. anyway. 

one of the kids starts it, starts gesturing for him to get up, pointedly singing the lyrics, the rest join in unti theyre all singing and chanting for him to join, all while the song builds and builds. finally steve joins in. maintains eye contact. thats enough for billy. he just keeps his eyes on steve as he stands up. its more like theyre dancing together, less like the kids are there. right at the end of that bridge he just lets go. takes of his jacket and dances around with everyone. he doesnt look stupid either. he looks good. and steve notices 

this is a small one, i dont even have a story to it. all i know is that comparisons between the scene that accompanies this song in top gun and the basket ball scene in st2 have been made, and itd be a super fun, corny scene :)

starts at the very begining. this song has ALWAYS felt so magical and me. i get chills every god damn time i hear the intro. i want their first kiss to be to the intro. 

its after the last fight of season three. someone else was flayed, someone we dont love. obviously billy survives. in FACT, he was along for the ride with robin and steve, all the shenanigens with the russians, billy was tied up and drugged too. BOTH he and robin admit their sexualities. 

billy still sacrafices himself to save the kids from the monster, he says something cute like “see ya round pretty boy” or some corny shit like that before he goes to run and save el, theres a moment when steve knows what hes about to do, theyre staring at eachother and theeeerse the electricity steve knows so much about. theyre really about to kiss, staring at eachothers mouths, but the monster makes a noise and billy knows its now or never, so he runs off. 

steve tries to save him but gets nocked out. he goes unconcious thinking billys going to or is already dead. 

it cuts to the end scene when theyre all in the car park. steves got an icepack to his face, hes obviously been sobbing. 

but he heres a voice. 

(clearly overjoyed and kind of smug) “am i dreaming or is that you harrington”

he looks up. its billy. we get a nice long run-jump-hug. steves in billys arms before he can even finish his sentence:

(nearly crying but SO excited) “yeah its me dont cream your pa-”

NOW. OKAY SO. i love love love they idea of billy steve and robin going home with murray, or at least showing up at his place. maybe billy cant stand the thought of going home, hell maybe neil was the one that got flayed and died idk. anyway.

nancy and jonathen are like, we know a place if people dont want to go home, and they go murrays place. when they show up at the door murray KNOWS. hes like “ffs two more people who have repressed feelings for eachother what am i a therapist. but he lets them in and they have a similar conversation that murray had with nancy and jonathen/joyce and hopper. poking fun at how much they like eachother etc. 

billy and steve have a really intimate talk. not sexaul intimate, just really open. theyre both so tiered, steve thought billy was dead, billy had to say goodbye to steve, who he KNOWS hes in love with by now, thinking he was about to die. they both KNOW how the feel about eachother now, but they havent said it explicitly. just lots of “i really thought id lost you”, “your my best friend”, “i cant believe youd do that for me” etc etc. 

they decide to go to bed, billy walks steve to his room, the one nancy stayed in when she and jonathen got together, theyre standing at the door. just staring at eachother like they were during that fight sequence. the energies back. billy really thinks he might go for it, but decides he doesnt want to ruin things if steve doesnt really feel the same way. he doesnt even know if he likes guys yet. so he just says “night steve” (steve, get it, not harrington, cause theyre close now and he loves him and those defensive barriers are down ahhhh). 

just as he turns to leave, steve does this:

this exact thing. he grabs billys arm, leans down and kisses him. he thought he lost his chance once, he nearly died like a million times in the past 48 hours. he cant stop himself. 

RIGHT HERE is when the intro to jump kicks in. FUck that synth, the rumbling note that runs through the whole thing. time. stops. its perfect. billys wanted this for so long, so has steve but in the grand tradition of fanfiction he didnt know it until he nearly lost billy for good. 

their arms are all over eachother, just as the rest of the instruments come in, at like 0:15, they both smile into the kiss and shut the door behind them, and it cuts away :). 

theyre finally together!!! theyre in the happy, honeymoon stage of realtionship. god theyre just fucking every. chance. they. get. i think this is a new season. it’s a montage of them hooking up all over hawkins. 

in the back of the video store, robin covering for them. in the car, outside school, steves house. someone walks in and billy has to hang out of the window. he makes a noise and steves like “thats probably just a bird or something” and billy MAKES A BIRD NOISE TO THE BEST OF HIS ABILITY. 

when steve helps him back inside he just stares a him with that “youre a moron but your my moron now” face. “~mimics the sound billy made~ really?” and then billy just laughs and goes back to hooking up with him. 

theyre just HAPPY. theyre comfortble, theyre stupid idiots whod die for eachother and horny as fuck allllll the time, like young guys are. i just want a really lighthearted, NOT INNOCENT, but lighthearted tone to a whole montage of them just being happy and stupid together. 

aaaaand we’re bassically at the end of the storyline i have for them based on music. these three i just like the thought of. i want steve do dance super shamelessly in his bedroom in a towel, not in a sexy way dont get me wrong he looks DUmb, and billys at his door window just admiring this stupid idiot dancing around. i cant believe im in love with this man this graceless lanky man i had to choose this one. but ill be damned if i wouldnt give my fucken life for him

and finally trust me go listen to any scorpions song its bassicaly a harrington anthem. it all started with rock you like a hurricain for me, i saw steve look at him, i saw billy and listened to the lyrics and just thought theres no god damned way this man is straight whats the bet hes into steve and then BAM same season hes just so obviously flirting with him constantly i-

anyway okay so

this song, like many other scorpion songs is allll about billy and steve in my opion. go have fun. 

PlayerEntity made this gif not me all credit to them i just wanted to include it cause its my favorite edit of them ever. 

and thats all!!! if youre seeing this and you thought it was cool thanks i had fun. i really just wanted to get this shit out of my brain its been up there since i was a fuckn 14 year old, now im 18 lol. 

i love these men more than myself and sometimes i forget that theyre not acutally together in show cause i live so completely through fanfiction and the sequence of events you just read. 

fuck why am i signing out like you just watched a youtube video or something i should just post this okay by now xxxxx