#anyway. i have a migraine
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im really excited for the day i get to take a shit on jk rowlings grave. honestly if ur thinking about killing urself just imagine taking a shit on her grave and ull wanna live forever
#quit using hp as an example of good fantasy writinggggg its really not even good when u think about it for like any amount of time#like not even just the fact that a large portion of major elements in her worldbuilding can clearly connect back to her bigotry#the magic system falls apart under scrutiny and her storytelling ability is dull at its best#she contradicts herself constantly and her characters are uninteresting#anyway. i have a migraine#✶
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i think everyone who's ever had migraines should be financially compensated forever btw
#camera talks#disability stuff#this is for my chronic migraine girlies (gn) <3#i think we should all get 1 million million dollars everyday actually#this is the worst fucking night of my life (everytime i have migraines) (specifically rn tho)#chronic pain#chronic migraine#migraines#chronically ill#disabled#disclaimer because idk I’ve got a lot of notes on this#I have diagnosed chronic migraines. I used to have them 5-6 times a week#now with medication on a good week I’ll only be affected 2-3 days#on bad weeks it’s much worse#anyways don’t doubt my condition I know what I’m talking about thx
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Nonbinary Stellars Jay my beloved <3
#queer corvids#pride#pride month#nonbinary#nonbinary pride#bookbird babbles#snapshots#doing the art thing#GOSH THIS WAS MORE DIFFICULT THAN IT SHOULDVE BEEN#I HAVE A MIGRAINE BUT I WANTED IT DONE IN TIME TO POST IN THE MORNING#AND BY GOLLY DID I FINISH IT#was supposed to be a regular blue jay but i was having trouble translating the colors to the nb flag lololol#ANYWAY PLS LOOK AT THEM I LOVE THEM
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WOAH Edwin art‼️
#dead boy detectives#dbda#dead boy detective agency#edwin payne#dbda art#dbda fanart#dead boy detective fanart#yeah. we need more edwin religious guilt in this fandom#LISTEN its sprinkled in a lot of fics but i need more focused on his religious guilt#anyway this took six hours and for the last like 2 of it i had a migraine so im going to sleep‼️‼️#snail.scribbles#also idk what the fucks up with the stained glass. i just doodled until it looked good#if you have any deep questions about the symbolism dont ask me i don't know 😔🫶
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i think generally kon is a private person as he gets older bc . you know. all the horrors of his youth really put him off publicity and stuff. BUT there is a world in which he runs a dogstagram for krypto (as superboy/supernova). and in this world i know he makes memes about his dog and inflicts them upon everyone. it's not at all about him; the most you'll actually see of him is his arms or legs or maybe one foot bc krypto is sitting on the other. he'll happily respond to comments asking about krypto but no one else. Everyone Look At His Pumby Dog Sitting On A Cloud With His Ear Looking Really Stupid
#rimi talks#kon#krypto#this brought to you by: i Know that beast being able to fly means he can and will sit in Places#anyway. i have a bad migraine today you must understand i have to cope by thinking about kon and his emotional support superdog
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day 147
psychically induced chronic illness squad
#day 147#year 4#aradia megido#sollux captor#homestuck#arasol#solluxs migraine thing is right in his introduction#but we only get like. one line from aradia in her singular conversation with rose in a5#where she mentions an 'elusive feeling of sickness' following her for her entire life#which i think you could read as like. anxiety/sense of impending doom due to upsetting psychic whispering 24/7#but when i was a kid and i felt anxious it ALWAYS manifested as a feeling of Oh I Am Going To Barf About This#to the point that i spent like a full year getting a whole barrage of medical tests trying to figure out what was wrong with my guts#turned out it was simply undiagnosed mental illness because nobody really considered that a 6 year old could have one of those#but such is life anyway catch me projecting onto these two once a fucking gain
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take a look, it's in a book
#art#sparklecare#sparklecare hospital#reese trent#look at em all snurgled up#i actually hc them are a chronic headache/migraine haver#so they spend lotsa time in a quiet space#with some pillows and a book#or no book if it's a migraine lol#anyway have another one
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panda panda circus circus
#Panda Circus#Daniel Mullins Games#Pony Island#<- Does that tag apply??? No idea.#Found a slightly quicker way to do this. Emphasis on slightly though it... doesn't work 100% of the way </3#The process was blocking out the sections with the lasso tool and then using the dithering brushes I have instead of just.#Doing it pixel-by-pixel. Then I added random black and white pixels everywhere for weirdness because it looked too uniform otherwise.#Anyway pro tip don't do this when you have a migraine. You will regret it. Quickly.#Hrokkall Art
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tried some new stuff today it was fun i hope you like it 👍
#eye strain#?? can't say i don't have a migraine after working on it anyway lol#oh like as in enjoy not. the button lol#fabian seacaster#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhjy#d20 fanart#my art#d20
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“Steve! We have to go!”
“I’m coming!” He yelled back to Robin, still searching through his closet for the pants he planned for their night out. “Where the hell are they?”
He was throwing things out of the way, not caring where they landed.
That was a problem for future Steve.
Current Steve needed to look as hot as possible.
His dry spell would be over tonight. He wasn’t leaving the bar until it was.
“Steve!”
“Robin! Where are the jeans?”
“What jeans?”
“The jeans! The ones that you told me to wear!”
“Didn’t you wear them yesterday?”
“No! I saved them!”
But Steve looked over at his laundry basket where his shirt was hanging over and the pair of jeans he was looking for peeked through.
He did wear them yesterday.
Fuck.
Okay, back up options.
The dark jeans that actually probably belonged to someone else and didn’t fit his thighs right? No, he needed to show off his thighs.
The light jeans he hadn’t worn in at least a year because there was a questionable stain that wouldn’t come out? Well, it would be dark in the bar, but no. He’d know about it.
The jeans he wore earlier that weren’t special but also weren’t bad? How would that help him get laid? No.
So he looked back the jeans in his hamper, ignoring Robin’s angry yelling from outside his door.
“Found them! Two minutes!”
He put on the jeans, hoping they didn’t smell or have any stains on them.
He ignored Robin as he threw on his coat that was hanging on the back of the couch and ignored the dull headache blossoming across his temples.
He opened the door and started to leave.
“You coming?” He asked over his shoulder, laughing when Robin smacked his arm as she passed by him.
“Don’t act like you’re waiting on me. I’ve been waiting on you for 30 minutes!”
They barely spoke on the way to the bar, Robin already sensing his headache and probably hoping the silence would make it better before the night got started.
She was amazing.
Steve couldn’t live without her.
But hopefully, they’d both find someone tonight. They needed it.
— — — —
Steve wasn’t having any luck. In fact, he’d never had worse luck.
His head was pounding at this point, music much louder than usual, more people crowded around his usual spot. The three men and one woman he’d danced with so far were fun, but not really his type. He’d been a little upset about seemingly wasting his time, but swallowed down the bitter feeling when he saw Robin dancing with the same girl for three songs, huge smile on her face.
At least one of them was getting something from tonight.
He stood at the far corner of the bar, trying to be out of the way as best he could. He needed to have some water, but he knew the bartender wouldn’t be pleased about getting pulled away from actual paying customers. He would wait for a lull and then get his attention.
It was a new guy, or at least one who didn’t normally work the shifts Steve was here. He was pretty.
There was no other way to describe him; long, curly hair, tattoos everywhere, wide Bambi eyes, tall and thin frame that still held hidden muscle. Steve’s dream, really.
Too bad his vision was getting blurry from the headache.
He had to reevaluate his plan and get water now before he went into full migraine territory. He couldn’t pull Robin away from her night just because he had to get home safely with a debilitating migraine.
He started trying to wave to the bartender anytime he looked over towards Steve’s end of the bar, but it didn’t work.
He tried yelling over the crowd and music, but it ended up making his head throb worse.
He finally managed to throw a napkin at him when he was standing a few feet away.
Not his finest moment, but he’d apologize when he had water.
The bartender looked over at him with raised brows.
“Need something?”
Steve couldn’t help the shame he felt about literally everything happening at that moment.
“Water please?”
The bartender nodded once and grabbed a cup to fill with ice and water. Steve felt some of his muscles relax knowing that he was going to be able to hydrate a little.
When he placed it in front of Steve, he slid a small cup of lemons with it.
“Squeeze a little in there. Helps with headaches.”
Steve knew he was looking at Eddie like the sun shone out of his ass. It would be embarrassing if he wasn’t so dreadfully miserable from the almost-migraine.
“Thanks.” Then he realized how shitty he must look if the bartender knew what was going on from just looking at him. “Wait. How’d you know?”
“My uncle gets them bad. He always gets pale and his eyes get bloodshot when one’s coming. You looked in the mirror lately?”
Steve shook his head, then winced at the way it made his head pound.
“You here with someone?”
“Yeah. She’s dancing.”
“Need me to have an announcement made for her?”
“No, let me drink this first.”
The bartender nodded, but Steve noticed he kept checking on him between serving other drinks to people.
Steve used more lemon than he probably should have, but he had a whole cup of it, and it couldn’t hurt to use more.
He rested his head against the wall next to him, wincing at the excessive vibrations from the music.
Normally, he loved that their hole in the wall bar got loud and fun once a week. Tonight, he wished he could be surrounded by silence.
He knew he was getting worse, but he didn’t want to bother Robin, who was still dancing with the same girl. She’d probably go home with her as long as Steve didn’t interrupt.
He felt a hand on his forehead, slowly brushing sweaty hair away. He tried opening his eyes, but even the small amount of light seeping through his eyelids was too much.
“Hey, I’m Eddie. I’m the bartender. My relief just walked in so I’m gonna help you to the back, okay?”
Steve could barely nod, the pain in his head throbbing down his jaw and neck. He reached his hand towards the voice and managed to make contact with Eddie. Hopefully, Eddie understood he was not gonna be able to do anything helpful at this point.
He felt an arm around his waist, guiding him away from the bar, but Steve still didn’t want to try opening his eyes. He had to trust Eddie.
He should’ve stayed home. He knew the dull pain he felt earlier would turn into worse, but he was so stuck on getting in bed with someone, he came anyway.
Eddie was walking slowly, keeping a firm grip on Steve so he wouldn’t jostle him around too much. Maybe if Steve weren’t getting his brain attacked by hammers and knives, he’d be trying to get Eddie in bed.
That thought came and went though as he realized how pitiful it was that a grown man couldn’t even walk himself home because he had a migraine.
Eddie would probably tell this incredibly embarrassing story to everyone here and laugh about it for weeks.
Steve was in and out of it for the next few minutes, unable to really focus on anything around him besides the warm hand on his hip. Despite being sweaty enough to wring water from his shirt, he still felt cold, shivers occasionally wracking his body.
This was a really bad one.
He was so stupid for being stuck in a bar for this.
His brain registered a door closing, then a fan turning on. It wasn’t completely silent, but the outside noise was a small echo in his brain compared to the banging it had been previously.
“Gonna set you on the couch in the corner and get some ice.”
Steve didn’t acknowledge him, but he let out the most ridiculous whimper when Eddie set him down on the couch, slowly laying him back so his whole body was flat. He heard the door open and close, but was so focused on how nice the air from the fan felt, he didn’t hear the door open and close when Eddie came back in.
“Alright, gonna put this on your head. Where’s it hurt?”
“Everywhere.”
Eddie sighed, but placed the bag of ice on his forehead to start.
“Get these often?”
Steve appreciated his very low voice, knowing that anything at a regular volume would probably be too much in this quiet room.
“Mhm.”
“I grabbed you more water too. Think you can have a sip?”
“Mm. No.”
He heard Eddie laughing quietly, but he couldn’t smile back at him.
“You live close?”
“Mhm. Mile.”
“I live closer.”
“Hm?”
“Welcome to my humble abode. I own the bar, work at the bar, and live at the bar. Technically this is the staff office, but upstairs is my bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom. If you think you can handle the stairs, you can sleep in my bed and I’ll take the couch. I’ll let your friend know you’re here too if you give me a name.”
“Steve.”
“Your friend’s name is Steve?”
“No. Mine.”
“Okay, what’s your friend’s name, Steve?”
“Robin.”
He tried opening his eyes so he could see his surroundings, but they were so heavy. Leave it to Steve to end up suffering with the worst migraine he’s had all year at a bar with a hot bartender taking care of him and he can’t even open his eyes to fully appreciate it.
He distantly heard the door again, but must’ve fallen asleep for a bit because the next thing he knew, he felt hands on his face.
“You’re sure he can stay here?”
“Robs?”
“Steve. You idiot. You should’ve told me it was getting worse.”
She was whispering, but she was angry with him and he knew she would be yelling if she was a worse friend.
“Sorry.”
“Eddie’s gonna handle it. I’m gonna take Chrissy home. You call me as soon as you’re up, got it? I’ll send the cops here to break down the doors if I don’t hear by lunch time tomorrow.”
“Got it.”
He was gonna forget, but hopefully Eddie would remind him.
When he had bad migraines, he pretty much forget everything he did or said. None of the doctors could explain it. He’d had scans done, and there were no signs of memory diseases, so it was just a part of the trauma from multiple concussions.
He could hear Robin telling Eddie the same thing. If he could make his face work, he’d probably smile.
He drifted again, but he could hear Robin still talking to Eddie as he did.
The next time he was fully aware, he was in a bed. The bed was huge, and there were so many pillows around him, it felt like a fort.
Two blankets were on top of him, one so soft he couldn’t help rubbing his cheek against it. He was surrounded by a cozy, light cologne smell.
He was also fully clothed.
His jeans were itchy, and he suddenly felt claustrophobic as he realized the sun was up and he was alone in a stranger’s bed.
He sat up and looked around.
The room itself wasn’t that big, the bed taking up most of the space. The door was closed, but he could hear someone moving around outside of it. He looked to the right to see a door that must lead to a bathroom.
He quickly got out of the bed, shoving his shoes on and grabbing his wallet off the table. He opened the door and saw the back of a man with long, curly hair.
The bartender.
Eddie.
Eddie had taken care of him during his migraine. His migraine that he should’ve known was coming and stayed the hell home.
He was an idiot.
When Eddie turned around, he felt his heart stop.
God, he was pretty.
Like, Steve might have to change up the nights he comes to the bar just to get a glimpse of this beautiful man.
“Hey. Feeling better? Must be since you’re standing without support.”
Steve blushed. He’d never been in this position before, and he had no idea what the proper etiquette is for thanking someone for taking care of you when you’re unable to even move or talk.
“Uh. Yeah, much better. Um.” Steve awkwardly stood by the counter while Eddie continued mixing coffee in a mug. “Thanks for. All that.”
Eddie was laughing. In another circumstance, Steve may have found it cute, maybe been proud of himself for making a hot guy laugh.
But he was dealing with a migraine hangover, which usually left him grumpy.
Eddie must’ve noticed because he stopped laughing abruptly.
His head tilted to the side as he looked Steve up and down.
“You know, Robin called four times already this morning to check on you. You should probably call her and let her know I didn’t murder you and hide the body already.”
“Okay. Yeah. I.” He felt around in his pockets and couldn’t feel his phone. Shit.
“Over there. Charging.” Eddie said as he pointed towards the table by his front door.
“Thanks.”
Steve walked over to his phone to see 33 missed calls from Robin.
He called her back immediately, not wanting her to actually show up with a SWAT team.
“Thank god! Steve, I told you to call by lunch. I was just about to call Hop.”
“You’re the one who left me here.”
“Yes, assuming you’d wake up early enough that I wouldn’t assume you’ve been murdered!”
“What time is it?”
“Almost 3:00, Steve!”
“Fuck. Okay. I’m leaving now.”
Eddie cleared his throat and nodded at the counter, which now had a plate of fried eggs, toast, bacon, and sausage on it.
“Okay I’m eating, then I’m leaving.”
“You better text me. I’ll show up with Hop!”
“Robin. Jesus.” Steve felt a bit lightheaded. “I am literally at the bar. You know where I am and who I’m with. Chill.”
“You were incapacitated.”
“And now I’m not. I can escape if I have to.”
“You’re not as strong as you think you are!”
He hung up before she kept going. She would stay on the phone for hours if he let her, and he wasn’t in the mood.
He made his way to the counter and sat down, smiling at the steaming food.
“You didn’t have to cook all this. Especially this late in the afternoon. You probably have to head down to the bar.”
“Nah. I own the place. I just work there to keep myself busy. I’m all yours until you’re good to go home.”
Steve didn’t have much of a response for that, his brain still firing on the bare minimum. Migraine hangovers were worse than actual hangovers.
He ate a few bites silently, then looked up to see Eddie setting a cup of tea in front of him.
“What’s this?”
“Technically, sleepy time tea. But it works really well for headaches.”
“Oh. Thanks. It won’t like, make me fall asleep?”
Eddie laughed and Steve decided he was happy to hear it now.
“No. It has relaxing properties to it, but it doesn’t actually make you drowsy.”
Steve took a few small sips and smiled.
“It’s good.”
“My uncle says I make the best.” Eddie leaned over the counter with a smile. “So, you thought going to a bar was a good idea with a headache? On our DJ night?”
“It wasn’t that bad when I left. Thought I’d be okay.”
“Mhm. So you get these a lot?”
“Well. I mean I do get migraines a lot. But that one was one of the worst I’ve had in a while. I can usually still talk and walk enough to get to my own bed.”
“Do you remember everything?”
Steve knew he had a lot of blank spots in his memory from last night. If Eddie wasn’t such a nice guy, he’d probably be more worried about it.
“No. I have memory problems when I get them.”
“Ah. Well that’s okay. I got you into bed pretty easily. You only woke up twice. Once to use the bathroom, which you managed to do alone. The second time you were crying about having to sleep alone? I couldn’t understand all of it, but that seemed to be the gist.”
“Oh.” Steve sighed. “That’s super embarrassing. Guess I’ll never come back here. Maybe never leave my house again.”
Eddie smirked. “I dunno. I think maybe I could fix the sleeping alone thing. You know, when you’re not incapacitated from a migraine.”
“You’re serious?”
Eddie nodded.
“You saw me like that and would actually want to be around me again?”
“I was hoping for more than around you. Maybe on you? In you? Next to you? All of those sound good.”
Steve choked on his next bite.
“Uh.”
He took a sip of the tea to help clear his throat, ignoring the way Eddie was moving around the counter.
“You know, Robin kept me on the phone for about an hour earlier, telling me all about how you’re the best guy she’s ever known and she’s a lesbian for a reason so that means a lot. Said you guys come here once a week because it’s the best place to find decent people, not just anyone. Said you’ve both had a bit of a dry spell.”
“She’s exaggerating.”
“Oh, so it hasn’t been eight months since you’ve taken someone home?”
“No.”
Eddie’s eyebrows raised in a challenge.
“It’s been ten.”
“My bar hasn’t been good to you, I guess.”
“Up until last night, I guess not. But I still prefer it over the clubs.”
“Until last night?”
“Yeah. The guy who owns the place kind of rescued me and let me sleep in his really comfy bed. He probably deserves something for that.”
“Oh? What does he deserve?”
“Well, I’d offer a blowjob, but I’m out of practice and might disappoint.”
“Somehow I doubt that.”
“But maybe he’d be okay with a real date?”
“When would this date be?”
“Maybe tonight?”
“Hm. He has to check the bar schedule, make sure no one needs coverage.”
“He can text me later to confirm.”
“I sure hope you’re giving me your number to do that.”
Steve laughed and held his hand out. Eddie placed his phone in his hand and waited for him to type his name and number in his contacts.
When Steve handed it back, their hands grazed each other. Eddie wrapped his fingers around Steve’s wrist, squeezing for a moment.
“Dinner here? Maybe 8?”
“I thought you had to check the schedule.”
“Nah, just needed your number. I make the schedule, I know it like the back of my hand.”
Steve shook his head.
“Can’t start a relationship on lies.”
“Oh, a relationship? You move quick don’t you.”
Steve did. He knew he did. It’s why he’d never been able to keep anyone around. He moved like he was ready for marriage on the first date, and usually people didn’t like that.
He looked down at his lap, already prepared to lose Eddie’s interest.
But he felt a hand on his cheek, slowly guiding him to look up.
“Dinner here at 8?”
“Uh. Yeah. Please.”
Eddie smirked at him before he placed a soft kiss on his lips.
“Just be yourself, Steve. I like you just fine. And I’ve already seen you at your worst and your crazy best friend. It’s all uphill from here.” Eddie pulled away and moved back to start cleaning dishes from his cooking. “Who knows? Maybe we’ll end up married by the end of the year.”
“Now you’re making fun of me.”
“Am I?”
Eddie looked over his shoulder, serious look on his face.
“Are you?”
“No. Stranger things have happened.”
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#headcanon#tumblr drabbles#migraine Steve is important to me because I have one right now#which is why this is not great#but also why I had to do it anyways#robin buckley#the friend we all deserve
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bad days are meant to be shared - st fic
Written for Day 10 of @steddieangstyaugust - prompt: "Where were you?" - word count: 3.7k - cw: some cussing, mentions of nausea but no vomiting (Steve Harrington centric, but Eddie saves the day)
enjoy! 💛
Working at Family Video is fine. It really is. It can be mindless but Steve doesn’t mind it, or at least he doesn’t mind when he wakes up feeling refreshed. Instead he got to wake up feeling groggy, a heaviness settling in his head that he knows can turn into a migraine if he isn’t careful. His heartbeat is already pulsing through his body but he figures the medicine he took this morning with his coffee should hold off the worst of it until Robin comes in. She’ll be able to talk to the customers and he can just focus on restocking the shelves and rewinding tapes. He’s just got to make it until 2. Only one hour to go until she walks in and so far it’s been pretty quiet for a Friday. Only one more hour and then he won’t have to answer the phone when it rings or-
Speaking of the phone, it starts to ring and he sighs. He wishes he didn’t have to answer, but would rather answer than listen to it continue to ring – acting like an ice pick to his brain.
“Thank you for calling Family Video, how can I help you?”
“Steve! Hey!” Robin’s out of breath on the other end of the line and Steve can picture her wrestling jeans on while talking on the phone. “Can you do me a huuuuge favor? Can you please please cover for me today? Chrissy invited me out to the lake for a picnic!”
He knows he’s going to regret it, especially with how his head already feels, but he also knows she’s covered for him before. Plus, he’s been dying to tell her ‘I told you so’ about the whole Chrissy Situation (TM), since Robin refuses to believe the other girl likes her. Steve’s seen cheerleaders flirt, he knows what it means that Chrissy always finds a way to touch Robin in some way. Examples include bumping shoulders while they walk all the way to brushing Robin’s hair behind her ears – Steve swears she’s hopeless. The girl can figure out Russian in no time, but a girl flirting with her? Might as well be the nuclear codes. Though he thinks Robin could figure that out faster.
“Yeah, Robs. ‘Course I can.” His voice comes out more gruff than he intended, but the light from the front window is just hitting his eyes worse than it was before. The echo of his pounding heartbeat intensifies. There’s a small pause on the other end of the phone, damn Robin and her ability to read him. “Someone’s about to walk in – talk later?”
“Sure, but Ste-” He hangs up. No one’s walking up to the store but Steve stands behind the register for a moment regardless. He crosses his arms on the counter in front of him and leans against them for a couple breaths. Now he’s got four hours to go before he can leave and no one to cover for him if this headache does become a migraine. Hopefully Hawkins will decide to go to the actual movie theater in town rather than coming in for a rental. Four hours until he gets to go home. Where he planned on cooking dinner for Eddie tonight, shit. His head throbs at the idea. No, it’ll be fine. He’ll make it through his shift, make dinner for Eddie, call Robin to ask about her date, clean up dinner, and then go to bed. Imagining his and Eddie’s bed, soft sheets and fluffy pillows gives him some hope; imagining Eddie’s arms around him when he falls asleep brings a small smile to his face.
The bell attached to the front door rings and he sighs before standing straight, his customer service smile already painted on his face when he realizes it’s Dustin that’s walked through the door. As always, his curls are wild under his cap, and he’s wearing his green ‘Camp Know Where’ shirt.
“Steve! Get this! So was messing around with my mom’s radio to see what parts I could use to make my own phonograph -” And the pulsing is back. Steve knows as long as he keeps on nodding every so often and places a couple ‘oh really?’s in there Dustin will carry this whole conversation on his own. Dustin’s mom is a saint, but Steve knows that sometimes her suggestions for ‘Dusty’ to get some air is to give her some time alone in the house. Which usually leads him to wherever Steve is or the rest of the Party – Steve seems to be the lucky winner today.
A family makes their way into the store, Mrs. Dawson and her two boys. Steve doesn’t remember their names but he eyes them as they race off to the cartoon section of the shelves. Mrs. Dawson sets down a couple movies in front of him on the counter, a grimace on her face. Her lipstick is a bright pink that almost hurts to look at.
“Let me just pull up your account to get this squared away. Did you need help finding anything today?” His voice sounds plastic even to him, and distantly he can hear Dustin still talking about the pieces of the camcorder. What the hell is a beam splitter? Anyway – Amelia Dawson’s record shows the two movies on the counter, she’s turning them in on the last day before late fees but that’s fine. He checks that she’s returned them and goes to grab the cases (Robin Hood and Pete’s Dragon smile up at him from their plastic covers); now that he has his hands on them – are very sticky. Like dipped in caramel sticky. Luckily Mrs. Dawson’s attention is back on her boys who have decided to try and play tag in the aisles, uncaring of their elbows catching on movies at the end of shelves and leaving them to clatter on the floor. Steve fights a gag at the feeling and scoots the movies to the side of the counter, he can rewind them later.
“So as I was saying, now I just have to get a couple of parts from Radio Shack and I should be able to record my own waves and see what they look like. If I can do that, then-” Steve tunes him out again, nodding along like he has any idea about what Dustin is talking about. Why does he need to see how words sound?
“Boys, come on now, we don’t want to keep daddy waiting – let’s go. Time for a late lunch.” Luckily, the twins – who he finally remembers are Michael and Matthew – take off towards the door at their mom’s words. Pushing at each other to see who’s going to get there first. The cardboard cut out for the month, Sigourney Weaver’s character from Aliens, falls to the floor in their wake but at least the store is noticeably quieter without them. Dustin asks to use the bathroom and Steve just nods as he rounds the counter. The movies that fell earlier get placed on the shelf and he makes a mental note to move them to the right places before he leaves today. He’s standing the cutout back up when he gets hit with a wave of nausea. He closes his eyes and slowly inhales, knows if he pukes now the rest of his shift will be absolute hell. With his eyes closed it’s a lot easier to hone in on the sounds of the fluorescent lights. Normally it’s a gentle buzz in the background, but today the lights seem to be doing their best impression of a drum line that just won’t quit. The nausea lessens and Steve glances at his watch. Just three hours left to go.
~
“Steve, what do you think?” Hazel eyes blink and Dustin comes into focus again, his eyes expectant. Steve knows he’s waiting for an answer to something but he genuinely has no idea what was just asked of him. Dustin’s eyebrows furrow slightly as the silence continues. Steve’s head is still throbbing and he can feel his heartbeat all the way down to his fingers.
“What did you say?”
Dustin huffs, rolling his eyes before repeating(?) his question. “I said, do you think that we can record the sound of silence as a sound wave? Because when it’s quiet your ears can make that ringing noise, do you think it’s quantifiable? And if it is, do you think there’s some kind of link to that sound to the part of the ear that is affected by deafness?”
Steve knows all of those words individually, but thinking of them in a sequence that makes sense to him right now is not happening. He even knows what Dustin means by the ringing noise, but he didn’t realize other people heard that too – thought that was just a him thing. Dustin must be able to tell he doesn’t have an answer because he crosses his arms.
“Do you even listen to me when I’m talking?” Steve shouldn’t, especially with how riled up Dustin already appears to be, but he tunes him out again. Choosing instead to focus on the man walking through the door behind his friend.
“Welcome to Family Video!”
Distantly Steve wonders if Robin and Chrissy are having a good time at the lake, it’s been a sunny day. Probably hot enough to swim honestly. He feels bad for thinking it, but he hopes that Eddie’s bandmates are gone by the time he gets home. Normally he’d be fine with them at the apartment since they help bring out the best in Eddie, but he knows that they can also get pretty loud, especially if they’re messing with their instruments. He still needs to reorganize the shelves and rewind a couple films before the end of his shift. The thought of dinner makes his stomach turn and he wishes he could just go to bed once he gets home. But tonight’s his turn to cook, him and Eddie switching off days to make sure no one’s cooking all of the time.
“Excuse me?” A hand snaps in front of his face, bringing his attention to Mr. Jameson’s annoyed face. “Can you check me out or not? I don’t see anyone else here.” His words bite and Steve silently nods. Glancing at the title before looking up his name in the system. The screen is blurry and all the words look like one long dark line across the screen.
“Sorry, sir. Your total is-” before Steve could finish a five dollar bill was placed on the counter. “Okay, your change is $3.50. Here you-”
“No, you owe me four dollars back. Not $3.50. This is why I normally have that girl check me out. You’d think you’d know how much to charge by now.”
“No sir, it’s 50 cents per day, and typical rental time is three days. So that’s $1.50 which makes your change $3.50.” The change sits in Steve’s hand, two quarters pinched between his index finger and thumb. Mr. Jameson stares him down, eyes filled with anger, and Steve’s over it. Whatever, he’s got 5o cents in his car that he can put in the drawer to make it balanced later. He pops open the drawer and pulls out another dollar, dropping the quarters back into their slot. Four dollar bills are snatched from his hand and Mr. Jameson grunts before stomping out the door.
“Steve? What the hell? You’re just going to let him talk to you like that?” Dustin’s voice is shrill when he talks, getting higher near the end, and Steve just breaks.
“Please shut up.” Dustin’s mouth closes with a snap, a look of hurt on his face. Steve wants to say more, explain that having his eyes opens hurts and that he can’t be bothered with customers who don’t know how to be decent; can’t be bothered with remembering what parts of the radio and camcorder and VCR player Dustin took apart for his personal project. He wants to explain that he really needs to put a cold compress on his head and lay down in the pitch black silence of his room for a few hours to be human again.
None of this makes its way out of his tense jaw though and Dustin must decide he’s done with Steve for the day because he says nothing before turning and making his way towards the door. Fuck.
~
The last two hours of Steve’s shift passes in a blur. Someone tries to call the phone and instead of answering he covers his ears until the ringing stops and then unhooks it from the receiver. A couple of girls try fluttering their eyes at him to see what his weekend plans are but all he can think about is how he’s going to get through dinner with Eddie, and they finally leave with a disappointed glance at each other.
Finally, he’s able to turn the open sign around – and then he remembers he never organized the movies from earlier. He fixes the shelves by dwindling sunlight, having shut off the overhead lights as soon as he could. It takes him about 30 minutes to fix it all, pausing every so often to just stand with his eyes closed. The words have lost their meanings and he hopes that basing his sorting off of the cover pictures is good enough.
Sitting in his car is the most relief Steve’s gotten all day. Eyes closed behind sunglasses he had clipped on his visor and the engine off he takes the time to breathe; the nausea has been coming and going on its own in waves and he almost wishes he could just go to sleep in his car. Getting back to the apartment is only possible through muscle memory and the knowledge that dinner still has to be made. He waits another few minutes in the car, trying to decide if any of the cars outside are of the band’s, or if he’s officially got Eddie all to himself. For the first time today he feels lucky when he doesn’t see Jeff’s car.
Living on the second floor has its benefits, like not having upstairs neighbors and getting lots of natural sunlight for the apartment. It also has its downsides, like carrying heavy groceries in the heat and getting up to their door in one piece when a migraine has him by the throat. Even his key turning in the lock makes him cringe, clenching his teeth together as he steps in. It’s quiet in the apartment, a certain stillness in the air that Steve appreciates. He toes off his shoes, setting his keys in the little ceramic bowl El gifted him and Eddie when they moved, and then bends to straighten his shoes to the wall. Bending does not help his nausea and he swallows down a gag.
“Stevie, honey? You make it home?” Eddie rounds the corner, a grin already on his face. His hair rests on his shoulders, frizzy curls around his head like a halo. Steve musters a small smile at Eddie, closing the distance between them with a few steps. The shirt Eddie’s wearing is well worn, old enough now that the words on the front have faded into the black around them and the collar is stretched out enough that Steve can almost see the top of a spider’s leg.
“Hey, hungry?” Normally Steve matches Eddie’s energy as best he can, but he can already feel his energy draining again. Should’ve sat in the car for a little while longer. He presses a quick kiss to Eddie’s cheek and continues his path to the kitchen.
“You read my mind. You okay with cooking while I finish up some stuff before dinner? I promise you’ll have me all to yourself once food is ready. Just have some chords to figure out after talking with Gareth about some timing stuff.” Steve hopes Eddie’s looking when he nods because all of the movement from the stairs has caught up to him and he doesn’t think he has it in him to speak right now.
Alone in the kitchen Steve just breathes. Almost done. Just have to brown the meat, toss it into some sauce and make the noodles. Easy.
~
All of the ingredients are sitting on the counter when Steve finally loses the battle with his nausea and darts to the bathroom. He keeps the lights off, more focused on kneeling on the tile and trying to breathe through his gagging. A few minutes go by and he’s able to take a full breath in – just sitting down has taken the edge off. The darkness of the bathroom is more than welcome, he just wishes he wasn’t crouched over in his jeans still. Soft footsteps sound from the hallway heading towards the kitchen, guess Eddie finished his stuff.
“Stevie? Where’d you go?” As much as he’d love to answer, the effort it would take to yell for Eddie isn’t worth it right now so instead Steve leans against the tub, coolness spreading across his back. Another moment passes and Eddie rounds the corner to the bathroom, confusion on his face.
“You okay, sweetheart?”
Three words and the dam holding Steve together just, breaks. His head pounds worse when the tears start but he can’t stop now that he’s started. Today sucked. And now his night’s going just as poorly. Can’t even get dinner made. Eddie’s still looking at him but he can’t make out his expression through the tears blurring his vision.
“Okay, alright, come here.” And then Eddie’s kneeling on the ground, arms outstretched for Steve to lean in to. As soon as he leans in, he’s crumpling into Eddie’s arms.
~
Steve’s not sure how long they sit there, him crying into Eddie’s shirt, but the collar is nice and damp by the time he pulls away.Disgusting.
“As much as I love this surprise cuddle session, wanna tell me what’s going on?” He knows Eddie doesn’t mean to, but the sound of his boyfriend’s voice almost seems to echo in the bathroom. Steve shakes his head and whines, tries to burrow further into Eddie – done with pretending. His head hurts and his whole body feels heavy like concrete. Right now the best thing in the world is having his eyes shut, head tucked into Eddie’s neck, and having his back rubbed. Without an answer though, Eddie leans back, staring at Steve hard like he’s going to hear the answer if he thinks at Steve hard enough.
“Head.” Just one word takes a herculean effort and Steve watches as recognition lights in Eddie’s eyes. Finally. And then Steve blinks long and slow.
~
When Steve cracks his eyes open again he’s greeted by the wall of his and Eddie’s bedroom instead of the white of the bathroom. His head is still pounding but at least it’s dark in here, the curtains are drawn and he has a feeling even if they were open only the moon would greet him. He knows Eddie’s not currently in the room because the air feels still, and distantly he thinks he can hear movement in the kitchen.
Shit, dinner. He was supposed to cook dinner tonight. He hears the small creak of the door opening and he shuts his eyes again – he’s not ready to see or talk to Eddie yet. Embarrassment heats his face remembering how much he cried earlier, not that Eddie hasn’t seen him in worse states. But Steve Harrington taken down by a simple headache? Stupid. Can’t even contribute to the house like Eddie. Can’t keep up with Dustin when he talks. Can’t be happy for his best friend when she lands a date.
“Hey, baby. Gotta wake up, I want you to take some medicine and drink some water.” A gentle hand is on Steve’s calf, rubbing slightly to ‘wake’ him. He burrows deeper into the blankets instead of rolling over.
“Baby…” And now Eddie just sounds disheartened, another person Steve needs to apologize to. Eddie first, for crying for no reason. Then Dustin for not listening to his rant. Then Robin for not being more excited for her. “Medicine and then water, then you can sleep some more. Come on.”
“I’m sorry.” Steve rolls over, tugging the blanket with him . He’s miserable and can’t think of anything better than sleep. Tomorrow he can make it up to Eddie; make him breakfast, do the laundry, make a grocery list, ask him how handing out with the guys went, check in about -
“-vie, I need you to focus for just a couple minutes. Where do you keep going? Get out of that head of yours, can’t imagine it’s helping your migraine.” The words are whispered and Steve blinks at Eddie. Brown eyes meet his and he manages a small smile.
“Sorry.”
“No need for all that. If you’d listened the first time you’d know I don’t mind. I love getting to take care of you. I love you. Stop worrying about whatever it is, there’s nothing you need to make up for – so no more apologies.” Eddie’s so earnest when he talks, a smile on his face causing small dimples to form. He’s holding a glass of water in one hand and a couple of pills in the other, but it’s the damp washcloth Steve can see draped on his wrist that brings a tear to his eye. Doesn’t matter if Eddie never said those three words again, his actions say them enough. Damp wash cloths when Steve’s head hurts, standing up for Steve when one of the kid’s decides they don’t want to explain a reference they make, or even when he flashes him a knowing smile behind Robin’s head when she’s talking about Chrissy. He’s full of love, and no matter how much Steve might feel like he’s messed up – he knows Eddie’s got enough love for him too.
“Hey, why are we crying? Sit up and take these.” With a small sniffle Steve nods, sits up, and takes the medicine. The washcloth is cool on his skin where Eddie rests it, letting him burrow back into the blankets – and the last thing he feels is a gentle kiss to his cheek before sleep takes him again.
#everyone say thank you to a new friend helping me with this idea and looking this over for me 💛#steve harrington#Steve harrington has migraines#I just gave him the same migraines I have#eddie munson#is a sweetheart#don't worry guys#robin and Chrissy had a great picnic date and Chrissy def kissed her finally#robin tells Steve all about it on Sunday bc he DEF does not go to work on Saturday#too busy cuddling with eddie#ANYWAY#steddieangstyaugust#hurt/comfort#stranger things#speaking Saturday#valentine writes
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So, used up a little of what remains of my beautiful rya lambswool that I had dyed a couple years back I think, to make the second handle on this bag (which is also done, just keep forgetting to take pics). And then I thought, wow, this would be the great base for a bag !
This picture fails to really show the base since it's covered in one of the other yarns I'm using. I had this idea of a very thick felted base (rigid, if I can manage it) and then a much thinner fabric that has a wider circumference so it can bulge out a little, with a drawstring on top. Originally I was going to felt the base first, but I think I want the fabric to be felted also, and I've already played the game of "Can I felt the initial element and then add more stuff and felt again ?". Which for the record, you can, but I've found it's unpredictable how much the first part will felt the second time. So dimensions get much more tricky. So, I will felt it all in one go before I add the drawstring.
Initially I wanted to knit the fabric part, but the base is already so rigid that dpns really didn't work (ridiculous laddering at the corners plus just terrible to work with). Now I am doing double crochet (us terms). I will update with how it goes.
Also, my roommate is going to make seitan with me, which is exciting ! They've made it a few times and I fucking love seitan and want to learn how to make it myself, since vital wheat gluten is currently very cheap at my nearest store. Or rather the thing in the bin next to it which is identical is very cheap, which is basically the same thing.
So I probably won't finish crocheting tonight, but maybe tomorrow ! Pics to come.
#made mulled wine#its very good. this time i reduced the apple juice by like 2/3 while cooking it with mulling spices#then strained the orange juice bc the pulp can kind of be a turn off in this#and then put in a second round of spices that was mostly black peppercorn when i added the wine and honey#really good ! maybe my best yet#didnt add triple sec given that we dont have it and i really shouldnt be drinking with a migraine anyway#but whatever. its already a very bad migraine who gives a shit#crochet#handspun yarn#naturally dyed#natural dyeing
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migraine hell
#ma gets awful hemiplegic migraines that are basically transient strokes and ummmm#this is. certainly. like that.#I have spine damage and nerve problems in my legs anyway but. half my face and half my body being kinda weak and not responding right#is certainly A New One#yay for migraine hell
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something so hauntological about watching mash season 3 knowing how it ends...none of the characters know henry's never going to make it home, the actors all found out in real time. but the narrative knows how this ends, and the narrative is waiting with an open mouth. so the narrative has henry prefigure his own death throughout the season. in o.r. when hawkeye reassures him one day you're gonna have to go back and die in your bed in bloomington, henry says that he's done that several times. he complains in private charles lamb that everything in this country disappears except me (untrue) followed by boy, would i like to wake up some morning, look down and find myself gone (true). when he gets trapped in the wreckage of the latrine in bombed he knocks twice for "dead" rather than three times for "alive." then there's the scene in the consultant where he soaks in the pool, calling it heaven but says the water could be just a titch warmer (burning burning burning), avoiding conversation with frank by submerging himself underwater. henry spends the whole season unknowingly rehearsing his impending death. he goes around camp trying on other people's deaths for size, haunting the narrative before he's even out of it.
in conclusion:
#mash#id in alt text#this is a pointless text post#using the last shreds of my brain power to formulate one (1) thought before this migraine takes over#something something tommy gillis giving him the kiss of death in sometimes you hear the bullet#it's kinda fucked up that they were going to have the cast party immediately after like one of the writers should have said something :/#deadass if i'd have been mac i would have cried myself to sleep for a week i'd be PISSED#anyway i firmly believe i could get at least three people into mash based solely on The Hauntology and i'm only three seasons in#ghosts
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i cannot emphasize enough i have been working on a post breaking down fandom stuff and pjo fandom history literally all day. this post is so long and so unnecessarily in-depth. im crawling through the ancient texts. in its current state it is probably not coherent in the slightest. i cannot wait to post this one.
#delete later#bonus points im sick AND have had a migraine all day#i dont wanna know what this wip post looks like to another party right now LOL#anyways yippee fandom history my beloved#let me weave a tale for you of ye olde days in pjo fandom and what our days were like#walking uphill through the shipping wars both ways on our way to our favorite askblogs#im peppering in a lot of old fandom lingo just for funsies in part cause a lot of it is very useful terminology#that newer fandom just isnt exposed to enough to be able to pick up/learn about though they definitely need it#seriously though i am literally always so happy to talk about fandom history#please ask me about fandom history
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I had a clear vision with this one.
I did NOT need to spend that much time on this BUT DAMN IT IT’S FUNNY-
Context: Peppino was annoying the fuck outta’ him and it got so bad he wanted to take him home.
He was done with his bullshit- 💀
#Pizza Tower#TW: Alcohol#I’m a LITTLE upset that the last panel only came out….okay#I don’t like how it looks- I COULD DO BETTER#But that was my third attempt at drawing it so I got tired AND I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP- 😭#But it’s okay. It’s not GREAT but it’s okay and I’d rather have it look okay than bad-#Anyways the idea of Peppino annoying the absolute FUCK out of Gustavo while drunk is too funny#I tested it today and yeah he snapped at me-#It was mostly cuz I was doing stupid shit and he couldn’t control me 😂#And then he drove me back home which was nice- and still funny#Gotta mention how much I love drawing Gustavo mad-#He’s an absolute sweetheart but I’m telling you- bend the straw too much you might just break it.#And he had a migraine so I made it worse- 💀#I love C.AI bro it’s a masterpiece ✨✨#Took me a bit but I had fun. And I like the first two panels they looks great#Peppino#Gustavo#Drunk#Art
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