#anyway. hpd to him and my mom :>
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(07/07)
[ID: a digital bust drawing of saix from kingdom hearts. the background is transparent and the colors are flat.
he is shown in profile facing left with a slight pensive expression. only the hood of his organization 13 coat shows, some of his hair tucked into it. a light coral pink line follows the line of his profile from the middle of his downturned nose and into the back of his hair, where the length is cut off frame. /End ID.]
#kingdom hearts#kh#kh saix#IF U SAW ME POSTING THIS YESTERDAY ACCIDENTALLY. no you didn't<3#i misclicked :(#anyway. hpd to him and my mom :>#it means a lot to me that some of his hair is always tucked into his coat. it's silly and it only matters to me but i care a lot about it#mwah<3 love y'all#my doods#scheduling 2: electric boogaloo
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YAYAYAYAYAYAYA MATCHUPSSS
I'm a girl and I'm looking for a pjsk matchup!
my personality?? um, god I'm an annoying motherfucker. when I find someone who's willing to listen, I will yap for hours about my interests. I have hpd, bpd(?), and adhd which is super duper fun totally 😐 but I think I'm funny maybe idk? I'm really insecure and I like actually can't find anything good about myself 😓 maybe I'm a fast learner? I'm sort of a nerd like, I'm in accelerated math 🤓
things I'm most sensitive to? idk what this means but ig I hate bugs and clowns and vomit and that shit. also when my s/o isn't giving me attention I would literally start screaming crying shaking.
my number one talent is simping. 💀 I have a shrine for 2 different people and when I have a crush on someone they're all I talk about 😭
my hobbies are drawing, writing, playing pjsk, and screaming lyrics of songs I like really loudly. I've also been getting back into dance lately that's pretty sigma. age range is 13-15 and there are no characters i don't want to be matched up with
what i want in an s/o? think of seo changbin from skz 🤩 jkjk (only slightly) i want a s/o thats nice to me, is at least slightly taller than me, (5'4), is funny, has decent fashion sense, and a real nice voice (but I suppose that's all the pjsk boys..)
what i don't want in an s/o is as I stated earlier, someone who doesn't give me attention, someone who puts me down, someone who brushes off my interests, and someone with a bad hairstyle /hj
yeah ty!! if this ask gets sent into the void I WILL cry!!!
' . < Project sekai matchup No. 1~! > . '
A/N: omg you do good in math??? You sound like a good s/o already. Girl if you like think think im sure you can find good stuff abt you. Liiiike you have a nice humor you made me crack a smile several times while reading this. Also idk youre just a fun person. ADHD? I xan relate. Its not confirmed but i probably do have it. Liek seriously whenever im doing my my math i just randomly start daydreaming and my mom always has to snap me back to reality. Thankfully she finds it funny lol and doesnt scold me for it. Also we're the same height so yay. Also same age range. We kin eachother fr.
Anyway! For the grand reveal, I match you up with....
` . < Rui~! > . '
A/N: Im sorry when you said you want someone who shows you attention i immediately thought of rui.
He will listen to every single detail of your rambles about your interests
Honestly finds it adorable
As someone who also rambles a lot about his own interests, he can relate
He understands that you have hpd and will give you all the attention in the world if you so desire
I like to think he will be very physically affectionate. With this mam, how could you NOT get all the attention in the world??
Finds your 'annoying' personality endearing
Sometimes just watches you draw over your shoulder without saying a word and then you just turn around and see him there and be like 'wth did you come from??'
Asks you to draw him
Loves to just watch you and observe you dance. Might even ask for you to teach him on of your dances. (Idr if it its canon that wxs dances but they prolly do, so)
Def teaches you one of the dances he performs
Im not sure if he has a decent fashion sense.. Idk depends ony our perspective
His voice though? Its the definition of nice. Like out of all the boys his is gentle and smooth. Sounds nice to me
#✦ library partners ✦#project sekai#Prokect sekai x reader#Pjsk#Pjsk x reader#proseka#Proseka x reader#Kamishiro rui#Rui kamishiro#Rui kamishiro x reader#Kamishiro rui x reader#✦ project sekai ✦
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Since HPD isn't as well known as the others, I wanted to make a list of ways I think Piper would display it. I made a greater list with ways HPD could present in general, but I'm iffy on posting it because I don't have HPD so it's like 😬😬. I might post it later, we'll see.
Anyway! Piper!
Preoccupation with appearance is a criterion according to the DSM and a frequent symptom experienced. While I think Piper does pay more attention to her appearance than she believes she does, she does so in a way that people's first thought isn't "oh she's so pretty" or "oh she looks so strange/interesting". She puts a lot of effort into looking normal/boy-ish, which obviously makes her stand out compared to her siblings when at camp, but also makes her stand out in general public because she expressly denies femininity, wears a feather in her hair, oversized or ill-fitting clothing. I think she both thrifts and "shops" (steals) from expensive stores so her outfits have a mismatched element there as well.
It's supposed to prove that she doesn't care about looking pretty and therefore doesn't care about people paying her any mind, but they always do, and then she can feign annoyance or distress over people telling her she'd look so much better if she wore things that fit or had any cohesion to her choices, or even complimenting her on her eccentricity.
It's not a criterion but people with HPD have said that they tend to lie or exaggerate situations. In the early stages of her dad's career taking off and her refusal to acknowledge it, she probably started lying about what he did for a job when it came up or lying to sabotage his jobs because she was desperate for him to spend time with her like he used to. Maybe even lying to explain why she doesn't have a mom. It just gradually escalates from there until she's lying about things that don't even matter.
Breaking the law is also not a criterion and it's not something that's come up frequently in people discussing their live experiences BUT it is the primary way that Piper has sought out attention from her dad and I can't imagine that she manages to shake it off so easily. She steals, not always for the thrill of it, but in an obvious manner so she'll get caught. When she seeks novelty or excitement, she might steal less obviously. She gets frustrated when a cashier or clerk notices her stealing but doesn't care.
I do like her having shallow and shifting emotions, lacking depth in her feelings. Everything is so fleeting it would cause emotional whiplash in anyone else. She's good at disguising how she feels internally, but she still struggles with her emotions. One minute she's the happiest girl in the world, the next she's sad, the next she's angry, the next numb, then back to happy. It flashes through her like lightning.
It's kind of like standing in a puddle when everyone else is enjoying their own lake. They tell her to swim like they do and she can't because she just has this tiny puddle of glee. It's not deep enough to swim. So she just gets her feet wet and nothing else. Feels glee but it's so faint. So she jumps to the angry puddle, but it's just the same problem. She's learned how to fake swimming, and sometimes the puddles will become lakes, bur they shrink back to a puddle so fast it's almost like the lake never happened. Only the residue of water drying in her hair and on her clothes lets her know it was real.
Interpreting relationships as closer than they are is such a good one as well!
Jason: Not entirely her fault, Hera did mess with her memories, but instead of taking a step back and giving them both breathing room to truly get to know each other for reals this time, she stuck with the "he's my boyfriend, everyone else can fuck off" attitude, even though technically they'd never dated and weren't through TLH
Putting a claim on Jason and then dating him also provides her with attention because Jason is so perfect and everyone is jealous about it, as well as unintentional charmspeak making Jason ignore other girls. But then Jason moves back to Camp Jupiter while she stays at CHB and she starts to lose that jealousy from others, as well as the attention she needs from Jason himself, plus her own feelings regarding her sexuality, so oops, turns out I never loved you, it was all fake because of your step-mom, bye
Leo: She definitely thinks they're closer than they are. She thinks she knows everything about him, when the reality is she knows everything Leo wants people to know about him. He keeps everything private and personal and traumatic locked deep inside himself. She only knows the persona and never once questions that there may be more below the surface because she doesn't really need to know him fully to get attention from him.
Leo being her primary source of attention because others find him too annoying to tolerate so she's really his only friend (until Jason) is one of my favourite headcanons with this AU because Leo is not as social as he pretends to be and requires more space and time alone than she is willing to give, so she gets deeply frustrated about and bothers him constantly because, until camp, he's really the only one provides her with positive attention
Annabeth: Piper becoming quickly attached to Annabeth and thinking of them as best friends is a concept I really like. In BOO, I always found that one scene between the two of them very odd. Not necessarily because it wasn't a good scene, but because it made them appear much closer than I had thought they were. Annabeth is the only member of the seven that I see being actual friends with everyone of the ship, but I wouldn't necessarily think of her as being close to all of them.
Annabeth is eager to fix things and provide solutions, so Piper is able to overshare and rapidly talk about herself and her life. Under NPD!Annabeth, I think this works out in both their favours because Annabeth gets praise and admiration for her intelligence, and Piper gets attention and focus. With canon Annabeth, I think she'd get winded far too quickly because Piper puts a lot of emotional needs on her and it's a little overwhelming
People with HPD have also talked about validation and seeking approval from others. This kind of couples in with the suggestibility/easily influenced criterion. Piper will default to either the most popular choice or to the side of whoever she seeks most approval from. I like to imagine this as being Jason or Annabeth.
When they're on opposing sides, she will become nervous and afraid that the other will like her less for not choosing them so she exhibits fawning and/or people-pleasing behaviours towards them as sort of an apology and to also ensure they're still willing to pay attention to her.
If it seems they're not, she will start to crash and/or become much more clingy and dependent on the person she did choose, which can cause a sort of tonal whiplash because one minute she's apologetic and kind and the next she's ignoring you and rude.
I don't think this is so much as easily influenced on her behalf, so much as her lacking her own moral structure. She's focused on the present, what feels good in the moment. She might have stronger opinions in certain moral and ethical discussions and be willing to vocalize them even if they oppose everyone else's stance, but for the most part she lacks that development.
Like Percy, or even Clarisse, she relies on other people to define her morality, but where they are very stagnant in the people they've chosen to mimic, she's much more wishy-washy about it. If Jason expresses opinion A, she will express opinion A. But if Jason leaves and Annabeth expresses opinion B, she will express opinion B. If someone comes up to her and asks her for her opinion, she might be vague about it or assess the person and vocalize the opinion she believes they would most prefer. For Percy, it's more Sally has expressed opinion A, so Percy will typically always express opinion A, even if Annabeth or Grover express opinion B.
There's definitely stances Piper is firm on. But a lot of things, especially stuff she doesn't know, are much more vague. She's less willing to admit to disinterest, especially if it's something the other person is passionate about, because then they may not engage with her.
This isn't really HPD specific, but according to one study, it was found that two thirds (67%) of people with HPD also met the criteria for ASPD. Now ASPD has a low threshold to qualify (3/7 versus 5/8 for HPD), so there is that to consider. But I do like the idea that she does have noticeable traits of ASPD, even if she does not qualify, re: disregard for the law (the constant theft), lack of remorse/rationalizing mistreating other people ("people just like giving me stuff"), lying repeatedly for personal gain (attention).
I get that she didn't know she had charmspeak at the time, but given her intention was to steal the car for attention from her dad, I don't think the lack of knowledge about charmspeak matters. She knew the salesman would let her drive the car, even if she wasn't sure why, and even if he wasn't willing, she could've easily started damaging the cars and received the same outcome (police called, dad comes).
In summation:
Disregard for the law, often in obvious manners in order to get caught
Excessive focus on appearing "not like other girls" and unfeminine; drawing attention to her Native American ancestry, even though feathers in your hair is not commonplace
Pathological lying
Quick attachment to others; overestimating her closeness with people; disposing of people when they do not provide enough attention
Clinginess
Oversharing personal information
Constantly seeks approval from people she thinks highly of
Struggles with indecisiveness
Fluid/flexible opinions and moral code
Lack of remorse or guilt, even when the behaviour is detrimental to others; rationalizes harm or mistreatment of others, whether actions were intentional or not
Shallow expression of emotions
As always, if anyone reading this has HPD and their own ideas or thoughts on this headcanon, feel free to send me an ask about it.
#hpd!piper#happy talks pjo#happy rambles about mental health#piper mclean#histrionic personality disorder
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Oh My god I love the PJO show! I know they tweaked a bit of the storyline but to me it was still so so good. (Keeping it vague in case you haven't seen it). And the casting was 👨🍳💋 (Chef's kiss, but emoji form 😂). I *think* I successfully turned my asks on now if you wanna squeal into the void with me, or rant about changes. Either is fine.
Also.... I tried sending the following story in as an ask a while ago but it got lost to the void and I originally didn't wanna retype it all, but decided to anyway for you, so enjoy the story of why my grandma had a slight beef with RR himself. (Just a warning, it's kinda long bc I don't know how to compress my ramblings, and I also don't remember how I wrote it the first time. Plus, my original submission was before I found out it was totaled and now have to make an extra $300 monthly payment bc of my recklessness. And final FYI, I'm 99% satirical when I say she has beef. I don't *think* she remembers saying this but who knows 🤷♀️. I'll just avoid grandma and RR in the same room to avoid the 1% chance 😂
Ok, so on Sept. 28th, 2023, I was going to the Chalice of the Gods book tour in Houston. I had to go straight from work, pick up my younger cousins, and then head to the venue which was like 15 minutes away from their house, but bc I had dealt with Houston traffic getting home we would've gotten there right after 5. OK, no problem. EXCEPT I'm a dumb-dumb who did a really stupid thing and caused a wreck right before we got there (within sight of the venue), but luckily, no injuries were caused to either party. My car ended up being totaled out a week later, and I'm assuming the other car was, too, bc their airbags deployed. I felt so horrible and guilty, and my mom had to come get us, and we ended up missing the entire presentation. (Again - my fault). We did stop by the venue, though, to try and get the "goodie bag" (signed book, shirt, and reusable bag). On the way into the venue, my mom took us to the back way bc it was at my cousin's school and she knew a shortcut. As we were getting out of the car, there was a black SUV in front of us that had just had the occupants enter, and a school officer/HPD officer was walking away back towards the building. The side windows were tinted but the brief glance I got at the front windshield looked like Rick himself, along with Becky and some other people (probably the publisher and driver and whoever else). Anyway, they were trying not to be noticed, and SO WAS I bc I was still processing the wreck and randomly crying again everytime I stopped, so I didn't try to bring attention to him or ourselves. We got in right as the presentation ended and the hallway starts filling up with people and we have to navigate to get our books and stuff. I got a hug from the bookshop employees after explaining what's happening, and then we left. We get home, and I'm talking to my grandma and mentioning about how I possibly saw the author IN HIS CAR ND she goes "well the least he could've done was given you a hug and said sorry you missed it" I was like "I don't think he noticed us" and she said "well still..." (I tried explaining that not everyone who went stayed for the presentation, some people just get the goodie bag and leave (also like the other car I hit) but that still wasn't a good reason for my grandma.
This is so oooold omgggg I am sorry orz I watched the whole show too, and casting was definitely top tier. I really like the main trio, they had really good chemistry together, and Walker has the Percy "why me?" look down soooooo well, we love that XD But all three of them were so good (and don't get me started on Hades, what a freaking legend, absolutely phenom casting on that front lol)
I will admit I was kind of miffed about some of the changes though. Like, why did Grover stay behind during the whole getting the scarf mission, except it wasn't a scarf it was Ares' shield? I don't remember. But like, we didn't learn about Annabeth's fear of spiders or see the flying shoes in action, so??? And also Annabeth peacing out early in the Underworld, why was that necessary? ;~; Idk, overall I did like it and I had fun watching it, but some changes I was kind of confused on because they felt like changes used just to split up the cast and without any real purpose. Buuuut I'm nitpicking lol.
I AM SORRYYYYYY your other ask did come through, I was just not on Tumblr for like, ever. I am sorry orz and I'm sorry your car did end up being totalled :( I had said in the other message that I hoped your car ended up being okay, but it sounds like it wasn't and I am super sorry to hear that :( Hopefully things have calmed down (a year later ahaha |D) and you're doing better since that ordeal ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Twisted Wonderland mento illness headcanons please kind sir 🙏
I way I left ibis paint so fast- YES. I’m gonna run down my personal hcs for what mental illness I think twst characters have and a bit of a reasoning why! (Also some autism hc because autism cause why not and also just so you know and as a comment pointed out neurodivergent conditions aren’t mental illness)
Warnings: Talk of Mental illness, eating disorders
I must note now at the beginning that I am just a 16 year old don’t come to me for any actual mental illness diagnosis or advice I am not a licensed therapist nor do I claim to be one. I just have a strong interest for psychology and took a few high school courses on psychology.
If you or a loved on have any suspicions they might have a mental illness (if you are able) I would recommend going to a licensed psychiatrist
Now with that warning out the way let’s get into it‼️
I feel like Riddle has BPD (borderline personality disorder) and PTSD. I don’t have a strong reason for why I think he has BPD he just has the vibes ya know? PTSD because of his mother. A lot of people don’t talk about it but you can get PTSD from abusive parents (if you try to say Riddles mom wasn’t abusive I’m gonna reach through the screen and beat the shit out of you).
Cater has HPD (Historic personality disorder), he’s very attention seeking online and I feel like he can be really dramatic then get over it really fast like nothing happened (me fr). He was that kid that was scared all his friends thought he was annoying and would do anything they asked. Also he’s hypersexual cause I said so
Ace has ADHD and Deuce has Autism. Epic rap battles of history ADHD vs Autism.
Leona has depression, it’s pretty clear from his characterization that he has depression. With his lack of motivation and over sleeping being some of them
Ruggie definitely has an eating disorder. No one talks about his eating habits like they do Azuls but I feel like he has binge eating disorder because of his troubled past with food. Like when he has food he will eat himself til he throws up if no one stops him because of an internalized fear of there not always being food to eat so he’ll eat as much as he can. (This might just be me self projecting ngl because me and Ruggie have a similar past)
Jack just has autism. Notably he hates wool textures and would have crying fits of his mom tried to make him wear them
Azul already has an eating disorder it’s clear from his relationship with eating and the fact he was bullied for his weight. I’m not sure what kind he would fall under but he definitely has one. I also hc him to have Autism
Jade also has Autism but he has low empathy also.
Floyd has cluster B personality disorder written all over him Idc what you say. I think he has BPD personally but that also might be self projection again. He has ADHD and like his brother also has low empathy as well
I hc that Jamil has NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorders) but just keeps all of his personal thoughts to himself so no one else knows.
I feel like Vil also NPD funny enough because it makes a lot of sense with his character. He checks most of the boxes anyways
Rook is smt else. I can’t understand him
Epel has anger issues but he’s actively getting help.
Idia has social anxiety that’s pretty clear also Autism because I can definitely see him going on super long rants to Azul about his favorite anime at the time. I believe I mentioned it before but I think he takes Anixety medication for his social anxiety
Malleus has BPD also because imma be honest with you Overbloting because your best friend and dad are leaving you because your scared of the time you have left with them so you put everyone in a dream is a very BPD thing to do. Also Autism because this man will take any chance he can to talk about Gargoyles and I love that for him. You go dragon boy
Author closing note: If you have any questions about my hcs then please be respectful in the comments and remember that no mental illness makes a person a bad person. Bad people are bad because they do bad things it’s not because they have a certain mental disorder. Also if a character wasn’t in here it’s because I have no hc for them or just don’t care about them enough to give them one. Last point a lot of these hcs are self projection, okay byyyeeee
#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#riddle rosehearts#cater diamond#ace trappola#deuce spade#leona kingscholar#ruggie bucchi#jack howl#azul ashengrotto#floyd leech#jade leech#jamil viper#idia shroud#malleus draconia#heartslabyul#savanaclaw#octavinelle#scarabia#pomefiore#diasomnia#twst hcs#vil schoenheit#rook hunt#epel felmier
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Okay so I have a problem that’s likely linked to my cluster B disorders and traits, and what I’m about to say might be upsetting to some people so here’s a small content warning: animal objectification (like, I see a few of my pets as less important than others, tho I still care for them appropriately), low empathy regarding animals, impulsivity. And also, if you don’t have a cluster B you might not think what I say makes much sense, so idk. This is pretty much just a vent to get my thoughts in order
So, as most of you know, I have two rats, Vodka and Whiskey. I got them at the pet store about a month ago. At first, I was very happy and excited, but as time went by I stopped caring about them. When I was younger, we had lots of rats and they were all super big and soft, they loved being handled and were super nice because we got them from a professional breeder. But Whiskey and Vodka aren’t like that, so they’re not at all what I wanted when I decided to have rats again. Whiskey is a nightmare because she tries to flee whenever she gets handled, which sometimes makes it impossible for me to clean their cage without risking loosing her in the house.
Now, I have been wanting a ferret for a while, I even got one before but what happened with her was similar to what happened with Whiskey and Vodka; we didn’t click. She didn’t have a personality that matched with mine so I gave her back to the refuge where I first adopted her.
I’ve had problems like this with a lot of my past pets, and my sister hates that of me and she keeps judging me about it, which really annoys me, because I think it’s more mature and good of me to give back pets I don’t feel emotionally connected to to people who will actually love them and care for them on an emotional level, than to force them to live with someone who doesn’t love them. And as someone with HPD and BPD, I am very sensitive to rejection and criticism, which is one of the parts of my problem.
The other part of my problem is much smaller; I fell in love with a ferret at the pet store (he comes from a refuge, he’s vaccinated, sterilized and two other things I don’t remember the term for), he’s big and nice and I feel an emotional connection to him. Now, the issue is that he’ll be available next Wednesday but I’ll personally only be able to adopt him next month, which makes me anxious because I don’t want someone else to take him before me.
Last part of the problem which has to do with the first part is that my mom wants me to get rid of my rats if I want her to let me take the ferret home, but if I do, my sibling’s gonna be mad at me and I’ll have to explain to my family why I don’t have rats anymore and why I now have a ferret, and they’ll think I’m a bad person for objectifying my pets like that.
Personally, I don’t feel bad about trading my rats for a ferret, what does make me feel bad is other people’s reaction to it and my stomach hurts at the thought of people liking me less/being mad at me. Just posting this makes me anxious and uneasy, but idk maybe someone can give me advice or help me so I’m posting this anyways
tl;dr: i want a ferret but my mom wants me to get rid of my rats if she’s going to let me take a ferret home, but if I do my sibling’s gonna be mad at me for abandoning my rats because I tend to do this with my pets a lot and I can’t handle rejection/criticism especially from them
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A Tale of Two Soldiers Part 6
Title: A Tale of Two Soldiers Part 6
Characters: Erik x reader, Bucky x reader
Summary: Erik and Bucky come to save you.
Word Count: 5703
Warnings: Sexual assault and sex trafficking (Plesse don’t read if they’re triggers for you even though it does not go into depth.) Violence and a little torture
A/N: no keep reading link since I’m on mobile.
You awoke with a pounding headache, it was worst than the time you were matching drink for drink with Steve. Whatever room you were in the air was freezing and it didn’t help that Marcus or whoever he was working with left you in your lingerie set.
As you were coming to, you heard a murmur of voices. You got up to investigate where the voices were coming from. With each closer step you heard a bunch of:
‘She’s up’
‘She’s coming’
‘Is that Y/N’
‘Isn’t she an avenger’
When you found the voices, they belong to a group of women, scratch that not all of them were women. The youngest seemed to be about 11. All of them were in skimpy shorts and crop tops. Judging from their outfits, your new environment, and your abduction you just got caught in a fucking sex trafficking ring. Great, Bucky and Erik weren’t going to let you out your sight after this.
A young girl with big doe eyes tentatively walked to you.”Are you here to save us? You’re Y/N, the avenger, right?” Her eyes were filled with hope and you didn’t want to tell her the truth and break her heart but you also didn’t want to lie to her and give her false hope.
You didn’t know if it was luck or not but a girl who looked like life hardened her answered for you. “Does she look like she’s here to save us? She’s for sell just like us!”
To make yourself smaller you kneeled down to the other girl’s level. “She’s right. I’m here against my will. But, I got some powerful friends and they’ll find us sooner than later.”
Suddenly, you heard a loud slam of a door and the clicking of heels against the tile floor. A man in a full Armani suit was surrounded by his bodyguards appeared. He seem like the type of man to brag about his accomplishments and flaunt his wealth, especially with women. And if they didn’t do as he asked, he’ll call them anything but a child of God.
“I see that you met your new roommates,” the man stated smugly.
Already tired of the bullshit you punched ole dude in his smug face. In return you received a kick in the gut that caused you to fall to the ground.
Armani suit bent down and jerked your chin so you could look into his emotionless eyes. “They were already ordered not to hit you in the face. We don’t want to damage our money maker.”
“You’re really selling me and these girls? Oh, you don’t know what trouble you just got yourself into asshole.”
“Trouble? I don't think so. You’re gonna be worth more than all of them combined. Someone as beautiful and strong as you. You’re gonna make me a rich man.”
“Let’s say if you get the chance to sell me, you’re not gonna live long enough to spend it. My dad’s a senator, my uncles are War Machine and Ironman, my best friends are Captain America and Black Widow, and my boyfriends are the two most ruthless killers ever. I’m starting to feel bad for you bro.” You shrugged at the man and smirked.
“I knew you were a little slut.” He gripped your face harder to the point you thought he would break some of your teeth and then he gave you a bruising kiss. In return you head butted him, which he seemed to enjoy from his evil chuckle. “I wish I could keep you for myself. Do you know what’s the most satisfying thing about my job?”
“I don’t know. You get your tiny dick sucked? You must be overcompensating for something,” you sneered.
The big bad grabbed your hand and put it on his rather unimpressive hard on.”I assure you I’m not overcompensating for anything.” Great, not only were you kidnapped by an asshole but he was delusional as well.
“Anyway, my favorite thing about my job is dousing out fires. Now, your average sex trafficker wants to get easy girls. Girls who won’t put up fight. But me personally, I like it when my girls got fight in em, because I enjoy putting them out. I love when a break down a girl and make her submit. The more fight she had the better. And you, Ms. Y/L/N are one of the strongest women I ever had and to bend you to my will until I submit,” he took a deep inhale and palmed himself. “I would pay good money for that, but you’re the product and I can’t make money if I use my own product. But no worries, there are buyers out there with similar viewpoints as mines and they’ll pay a pretty penny for you. So, I’m not scared because I’ll have enough money in the world not to worry about your friends and family.”
As Armani suit gave his bad guy monologue, you found a random pipe on the floor behind you. Despite your better judgement you grabbed the pipe and whacked the smug smirk off your captors face. “I’m glad you like your girls with fight because I gotta whole lotta fight in me.”
When he faced you, you finally saw the anger in him instead of that giddiness he had earlier. “Make sure you don’t hit her in the face. Remember that’s our money maker, but everything else is fair game.” While he ordered his men to do their worst his eyes never left yours until he exited the room.
Soon as their boss left, the goons started pounding at you. Some used their fists, some used their feet, some used the butt of a gun, and some used a pipe. No matter what they were using, pain reverberated throughout your body. Although, you were in immense pain you refused to give these monsters the satisfaction of your screams in pain, so you suffered in silence. The only thing that could be heard were their grunts and vile words towards you. It wasn’t until you blacked out with thoughts of Bucky and Erik saving you were you able to escape the pain.
——
Charles automatically noticed something was wrong when you didn’t show for the family photo shoot. Even though you hated doing things like these you were always 30 minutes early, just in case someone needed help with something. So when his baby girl wasn’t there when he got there, he ordered his crazy daughter, Casey to track you down.
That was two days ago and there was still no word from you. HPD inform your parents that they couldn’t find Marcus, who you were last seen with and now he was officially a person of interest.
The whole family was gathered in the living room with the Wakandans, James Warren, Tony, Rhodey, and Detective Johnson from HPD.
“We have an update on your daughter’s case,” the detective informed the Y/L/N family as he handed a folder to your father.
His knees buckled once he saw what was inside. It was photos of you in your lingerie, posed for sell. The pictures got worse as he saw all the bruises on your body.
Your mother got a look as well and she instantly wailed. “Who would do this to my baby?”
Tired of being in the dark, Erik took the photos from your dad. When he saw them he was fuming and he knew just who to blame.
Throwing the photos at Bucky, Erik stormed towards Bucky and sucker punched him.”Its your fault! I was stupid enough to listen to you and let her go to that damn auction! Now look, Barnes she’s caught in a sex trafficking ring!”
Everyone except the Wakandans perked up at the mention of Barnes. “Bucky Barnes?” Tony and your mom questioned.
Bucky was outed now, so he took the nano mask off. “I’m just as pissed as you, Stevens and I blame myself more than you ever could.” Then Bucky turned his gaze towards Tony and your mom, “But all of you have a choice. You either can turn me in over duty or some personal vendetta or you let me be Winter Soldier and bring our girl home and kill those sons of bitches.”
Regrettably, Tony conceded to Bucky. He was far too worried about you to get back at Bucky and he knew how much those bastards needed to pay and the Winter Soldier was what they needed.
“Who took those photos,” Rhodey asked gravelly.
“We believe it’s Richard Dominguez. He just took over the Dominguez crime family and expanded into sex trafficking, which his recently deceased father was against.” Detective Johnson informed the room.
“What about this Marcus nigga?” Erik asked. He was ready to kill someone and if he couldn’t get to Dominguez then Marcus would have to do.
The detective felt uncomfortable under Erik’s murderous gaze. “Umm...we can’t find him.”
“Then what the fuck you niggas good for? Oh wait never mind y’all good for killing innocent black people.”
“Cousin!” T’Challa admonished his younger cousin.
Erik just shrugged his shoulders because he believed he told no lie. He looked at Shuri and nodded his head at her. “Lil cuz, can you find this Marcus dude if we give you his picture?”
Shuri looked at Erik as if he grew a second head. Did he know who he was talking to?”
“My bad, cuz,” Erik quickly apologized once he saw the look on Shuri’s face. “Can you find him quickly is what I meant to ask.”
“Give me the picture and I’ll tell you his last location within 30 minutes, cousin,” the Wakandan princess stated.
Detective Johnson handed a photo of Marcus to Shuri and she promptly went to work.
---
Everything hurt. You were sure that you had a couple of broken ribs. The girls took turns looking after you and in that time they told you who held the group captive. It was some dude named Richard Dominguez and he was fairly new to the game.
The door squealed open and the girls hid in their respective corners. You thought it was Dominguez coming to gloat about the offers he got for you, but it was a woman instead. She reminded you of a Kim Kardashian wannabe. Nothing on the woman was real. Her ass was disproportionate to her thighs, her lips looked as if they were stung by bees, and her tan was so dark that she was nearly the same color as you.
“So, you’re the one my husband can’t shut up about. He keeps on talking about your beauty, but from where I’m standing, darling, you ain’t that beautiful.” The woman sneered at you as she inspected you.
If her physical appearance didn’t put you off, her attitude did the job for you. Annoyed with the woman you sighed, “Don’t tell me your ok with this? And please don’t tell me you’re jealous.”
“Ok? Sweetie, I’m ecstatic with anything that allows me to afford my lifestyle. I would sell my own grandmother if it meant I could live like this. Honey, why would I ever be jealous of you?”
What a delusional one this chick was. You laughed at her and proceeded to read her. “Listen, sweetie, ummm, everything on your body is predominantly features of a black woman and under all that tanning lotion, you’re clearly not a black woman. You literally just came in here and called me ugly for having the same features you have that your plastic surgeon did a botch job on.”
You stood up face to face with Dominguez’s wife and even in your diminished shape she was frightened by you. “I bet your bitchass husband is fantsizing about me while he’s fucking you,” a look of embrassement from the woman confirmed your hunch and you contined. “I’m gonna go as far and say he called out my name on accident. Man, it must suck to be you.”
The wannabe was in tears by now and she ran out the room. Usually, you wouldn’t revel in the fact that a husband was mentally cheating on his wife, but since she was compliant, you didn’t feel an ounce of guilt.
Once again the door creaked open and this time it was Dominguez and he was pissed. He stormed towards you and punched you in the gut. “You made my wife upset, you little cunt! Be glad that you are of value to me or you be dead.”
You knew Dominguez didn’t care about his wife, but she must’ve gave him an earful and that set him off. Holding yourself back, you smirked at the man. “I don’t know what’s worse for you. Me getting to you and killing you or the Winter Soldier and Killmonger killing you. Either way you end up dead and you better pray that nothing happens to me, because those two I mentioned are nothing nice to play with.”
All the blood drained from Dominguez’s face when you mentioned the Winter Soldier. He didn’t know about Killmonger, but he didn’t sound fun and now suddenly he was fearing for his life.
His silence stuck with you and you knew you had him. You decided to taunt Dominiguez some more. “Remember when I said boyfriends? I was talking about them. So, even if I end up getting sold, you won’t be spending any of the money.”
Richard continued to keep his mouth shut as he tried to calmly exit the room. When he was outside the door, he ordered his head of security to hire more guards in case the Winter Soldier came looking for him. Now he had to get rid of you much quicker than he would like to, because he refused to be a victim of the infamous Winter Soldier.
---
Shuri came through and she was able to locate Marcus in 15 minutes instead of 30, and the team had him in their custody no less than 45 minutes.
Bucky was sharpening his knife trying to calm himself before interrogating Marcus when Tony approached him. “I know you hate me, Stark, but I love Y/N, so don’t be mad at her when we get her back. She was just doing what she believed what was right by protecting me.”
Tony held back his disdain for Bucky. He had to admit that he admired how fiercely Bucky wanted to fight for you. “Barnes, I’m not here to fight you. Y/N would whoop my ass if I did right now. I just wanted to say I appreciate how you’re fighting to get her back and that none of this is your fault.” Bucky drew his brows in confusion at Tony’s statement. Did Stark really compliment him?
“I know. I know. It doesn’t sound like me. But you can’t fight at your best if you keep thinking its your fault that Y/N is captured. You were ok with Y/N going to the auction, because you knew she was going to do it anyway. Don’t beat yourself up over that,” Tony advised the soldier.
“Thanks.”
“I still hate you by the way. I’ll just hate you less once we get her back.” Tony effectively killed the chance of any reconciliation between the two and left the room
As Tony and Bucky were having a moment, Rhodey was talking to Erik trying to calm him down. “You can’t just go in there and start beating on the dude.”
Erik looked at Rhodey in disbelief, “Oh, I can’t? Watch me.” Erik was walking to the door that Marcus was behind and Rhodey pulled him back before he turned the handle.
“You need to calm down and do it quickly! I’m not letting you blow the only lead we have on finding my niece. Do you understand me?” This was the first time Erik seen the older man lose his cool. He heard from you how your Uncle James was always the chill one despite how crazy our mom or Uncle Tony could be. So, he knew he needed to calm down for the sake of your uncle.
“A’ight. I’m sorry, man. I just need to find her asap.”
Rhodey understood the young man’s urgency. He clapped his shoulder and warned Erik. “We need Marcus alive. The cops need someone to arrest.”
Erik caught Rhodey’s drift. He wouldn’t he able to kill Marcus but whoever was the real culprit was fair game.
When Erik finally gathered himself together he went to the door where Bucky was at and entered the room. The two killers had to school their faces as they entered the room. It smelled of bodily fluids and the heat in the room made it no better.
Marcus was sitting in the middle of the room in his own mess. He was a nervous mess because he didn’t know who kidnapped him and then the crazies had a jaguar and wolf snapping in his face.
“They miss their mom and they know you have something to do with her being missing.” Marcus instantly recognized the man talking. He was the Winter Soldier and he was casually flipping a knife around.
Soon as he recognized Bucky Barnes, Marcus soiled himself once again. Erik scrunched up his face in disgust and pinched his nose. “Really, nigga? You already pissed now you gotta shit! I bet you didn’t have that same energy when you let Y/N go.”
“Look man, I didn’t have a choice,” Marcus yelled in desperation.
Pissed off, Bucky echoed Marcus. “No choice!” Bucky kicked Marcus’s chair, causing him to fall and have Apollo and Artemis growl in his face.
“Are you really gonna let em eat him?” Erik pointed to the predators.
“They haven’t ate all day and he’s obviously no help. Is that a problem?”
“Nah, it’s chow time.” Erik broke out into a smile while Apollo and Artemis widen their jaws for their new meal.
“She’s in Huntsville! Dominguez has a bunch of land out there, but he has a small army. He’ll know you’re coming.”
“We don’t care!” Bucky yelled already texting T’Challa with the information.
Erik bent down to Marcus. “Before I rock yo shit, why did you betray her?”
Marcus was a sobbing mess by now, he feared for his life. “I had a gambling debt at one of Dominguez’s underground casinos. He said it’ll clear my debt and I could get a little extra if I help him get her. Y/N’s an Avenger, I thought she would be out by now.”
As Bucky heard Marcus’s explanation, he crushed the door knob in frustration. What kind of man traded his friend for money? He took his knife out and aimed it at Marcus and cut off the top of his ear.
Annoyed that Bucky threw the knife so close to his face, Erik reprimanded him. “You had to throw it next to my face?” Bucky nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders and exited the room. Erik quickly followed Bucky after he punched Marcus to silence his wails.
Thanks to Bucky texting the intel while they were still with Marcus, Shuri had the location of Dominguez. Everyone suited up as soon as a plan was formed, even though Bucky and Erik just wanted to go in guns blazing.
“You know we don’t plan on bringing Dominguez alive.” Bucky warned your parents.
Your mother left her husband’s side and for the first time looked Bucky in the eye. “I don’t give a damn. If he’s begging for mercy, you better let him bleed out. Just bring back my baby girl.” Now Erik and Bucky understood where you got a fierceness from.
Both men gave a head nod and a yes ma’am to her and left to go save their girl.
—-
You were getting anxious. If it was just you held captive, you would’ve already escaped and killed Dominguez, but you weren’t. The other girls were your responsibility and you promised them all that you would get them out safely and alive.
“Miss. Y/N, are your friends going to save us?” Lexie, the 10 year old asked you with hope in her eyes.
“Of course, honey. They’ll be here soon. If we get lucky, we might get to see the Scarlet Witch.”
Santana being the pessimist she was told the child not to get her hopes up. You were on the verge to cuss Santana out, but you heard gunshots and the screams of Dominguez’s guards.
A smile broke out on your face, help had came. You ordered the girls to grab the shivs they made in the past days.
All of you gathered together and were approaching the door when you heard footsteps by the door. You pushed the girls behind you and got in your fighting stance.
You abandoned your stance and fell to the floor in relief when you saw Steve, Nat, Sam, and Wanda at the door.
“It’s okay. I got you,” Steve hugged you being mindful of your injuries. You hugged everyone else and asked Wanda where Vision was. She told you he joined Tony and should be here soon.
“This family reunion is great, but we got people shooting at us and we need to get these girls to safety,” Nat reminded everyone.
“Nat’s right. You guys get the girls out and I’ll handle Dominguez.” You offered to your former teammates.
Steve was heavily against the idea. He claimed that you would be outnumber and your injuries would be a clear disadvantage. But you weren’t hearing none of it. You needed to kill Dominguez and your friends couldn’t get caught since they were still fugitives.
In the middle of your argument with Steve, your sword Shuri made for your birthday was suddenly in your hand. Then you heard the roar of Artemis and the howl of Apollo.
You smiled at your friends. “Game time, bitches.” This time Steve didn’t argue with you when you ordered them to get the girls to safety. He knew Bucky was there to save you and nothing would get in his way.
Thanks to your sword being made out of vibranium you easily dodge bullets and sliced through Dominguez’s henchmen. Your goal was to kill your captor and everyone who helped him, and you weren’t leaving the base til you did.
Taking two stairs at a time, you ran into the master bedroom and found Dominguez’s wife frantically throwing clothes, shoes, and jewelry into a duffel bag.
“Materialistic to the end, huh?” Your chuckle halted her packing. Immediately she was begging for her life and in that moment you truly didn’t know if you would leave her alive. You asked yourself WWCAD (what would Captain America do?) and regrettably you only knocked her out with a vase.
As you were tying up Richard’s wife, he came running into the room seeking refuge. Once he spotted you, he pointed his gun at you. “Damn, I thought you would’ve killed her. She knows too much about the operation.”
Dang, this man really didn’t care about anyone except himself. “You know I would say I feel bad for her, but she’s as guilty as you are.”
“Then maybe you should give me the same punishment as her,” he tried to bargain with you.
“Too late,” you stated and then you charged the man.
Your fight ended up in the hallway and near the railing. Dominguez and you were dodging each other’s hits. You lunged to stab him, but he fell over the railing but he grabbed you to bring you with him. You were expecting to feel the coolness of the marble floor, but instead you felt the familiar warmth of strong arms.
“I got you, princess.” Tears threatened to spill out when you saw Bucky and Erik. You kissed Erik and murmur a bunch of I love you. Then you jumped out of his arms and limped towards Bucky to do the same.
Unfortunately, your reunion got cut short by the groans of Dominguez. Erik and Bucky instantly got in defense mode but you had to pull them back. As much as you understood their anger, this was your kill.
You slammed your foot into Dominguez’s chest to stop him from getting up. “Remember when I told you I didn’t know if it was worse for you if I got to you if they got to you,” you pointed towards the two soldiers. He gave no answer, but looked at you in pure hatred.
“Well, I forgot about a third option and I’m gonna go with them, cuz they’ll kill you slower than I ever could.” Confusion and then fear crossed Dominguez’s face as he saw the jaguar and wolf prowling towards him out of the shadows.
While Apollo and Artemis were snarling in his face, you bent down to his ear and whispered, “You know my favorite thing about you douchebag dudes is the fear on your face once you know you lost and how you’re gonna die soon. It’s the best feeling.” You patted his chest as you smugly mocked his first conversation he had with you.
Once you started walking away you heard the crunching and breaking of his bones and his cries of pain as Apollo and Artemis ripped into him.
The adrenaline must’ve stopped pumping through you, because you fell to the ground before either Bucky or Erik could get to you. Blood was seeping out of your stomach when the boys reached you. Each of them were yelling it wasn’t your time yet as you repeatedly told them you were sorry. Luckily, Erik managed to insert a Kimoyo bead into your wound to stop the bleeding. And once again you blacked out as you have done so many times this week.
—-
“You’re very lucky Mr. and Mrs. Y/L/N based on all your daughter’s injuries she should be dead,” you heard the doctor inform your parents.
“Thank God!” Your mother praised as she sat in the chair next to your bed.
“Ummm, but is it necessary for them being here?” You could only assume that the doctor was referring to Apollo and Artemis, since you could sense their presence.
“They stay,” Erik ordered leaving no room for negotiations.
A few moments later and you felt your eyes flutter open. No one noticed that you were awake until they heard you groan in pain.
Your first words were where was Bucky and Erik.
Erik left his corner in the room and ran up to you. “Hey, princess. I’m right here and Barnes not here right now. We have too many eyes on us right now.”
Usually you would be understanding, but you didn’t feel complete until you had both men by your side. So, you pleaded with Erik to get him and he was about to comply when Secretary Ross entered your hospital room.
Automatically, you were on the defense and tried to sit up despite the pain you were in. Last time you saw Ross, you cussed him out so you doubted he would be happy to see you again.
“Y/L/N, it’s good to see you’re doing well.”
“What do you want,” you croaked out.
Ross widen his stance in an attempt to intimidate you. “We have reports from the other girls you saved and they said that Steve Rogers and the others were there helping them. Do you know where they have could’ve gone? And please don’t lie, the girls did say you did talk to Rogers.”
Your monitor was beeping quickly indicating the spike in your blood pressure. At this point, Ross was more than a thorn in your side and he was getting dangerously close to be on your kill list.
It also must’ve been your mother’s breaking point, because she jumped out of her seat and was in Ross’s face. “Are you fucking kidding me!!!” Your mama had to be furious to be cussing. You only heard her cuss a handful of times in her lifetime. “My daughter is in the damn hospital barely escaping death and you’re worried about capturing damn Captain America??? My baby girl is right, that heart attack must’ve fucked with your head more than you thought. Now I suggest you get out of this room or that wolf and jaguar are gonna have a new chew toy.”
Ross made the smart decision of leaving the room with no protests. You knew your mom could be scary, but for her to successfully threaten the Secretary of State, she earned a new level of respect from you.
“Damn, Mrs. Y/L/N remind me not to piss you off.” Erik laughed in admiration.
While looking at you and giving you a motherly caress, your mama replied to Erik. “I don’t play about my kids, even the ones who give me the most headaches. So, it’s best you and Barnes remember that.”
You almost couldn’t contain your excitement. That warning your mama gave Erik was also a seal of approval for both of them to date you. Who would’ve thought your mama would be open to you dating an assassin.
For a while you talked with your family. Shannon tried to apologize for unknowingly helping you get kidnapped, but you threatened to burn all her wigs if she tried apologizing again. That quickly got her to shut up.
The nurse came by and told everyone that visiting hours were over. Everyone left except Erik and when she tried to get him to leave, he gave her a deadly stare until she scurried off.
Running your fingers through Erik’s dreads calmed you and him. It was very possible that you wouldn’t have survived and never had the chance to see each other again.
Tears were forming in Erik’s eyes and this was the second time you saw him cry. Between sniffles Erik spoke for the first time since you two been left alone. “I almost lost you, Y/N. That scared the shit out of me. I’m about to ask T’Challa to assign a Dora to follow you when me or Barnes are not around.”
Half of you was grateful that you had a man that cared that much about you, but the other half was annoyed that you were about to get a 24 hour detail after this whole debacle. “I’m safe, E. But don’t you think it may be a little extreme to have someone watching me all the time?”
“Hell no.” Welp, there’s goes any negotiation. You didn’t have the energy to fight Erik on the topic, so you let it go for now.
Erik jokes with you for a bit to lift your spirits, but he knew eventually you would ask for Bucky again. He told you what you already suspected which was that Bucky felt guilty about your abduction and was avoiding you. You told Erik to get Bucky and tell him if he refused to come you would never speak to him again.
Within 10 minutes, Bucky was sulking in your room. Erik excused himself, knowing that you two needed this intimate moment and appreciative that he spent time with you already.
“You two seem really close now,” you pointed out to Bucky after Erik clapped his shoulder.
Seemingly nervous, his metal hand scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, when the girl you both love gets kidnapped it brings enemies closer.”
Bucky made no attempt to get near you and it broke your heart. In the time you needed him the most he refused to be there for you, but you understood it, he was still blaming himself.
“Doll, I really shouldn’t be here.”
“Why?”
“It’s not safe. I heard that Ross came by looking for intel. Someone can come by and turn me in.”
Although, it was a valid concern, you knew that wasn’t the real reason Bucky thought he shouldn’t be there. “I have my own hospital floor and Tony made sure everyone signed a NDA, so try again, Barnes.”
This time Bucky moved towards you and you could see the pain in his eyes. Hell, you practically felt the pain rolling off of him onto you.
Bucky was crying by the time he sat next to you. He laid his head on your stomach and you could feel his tears seeping through your hospital gown.
When he finally composed himself, Bucky spoke.”Fuck doll, if I hadn’t encouraged you to go to that damn auction you wouldn’t be in this damn hospital bed.”
You lifted his chin to get his attention. “I’m only gonna say this once. It’s not your fault. I was gonna go with or without your permission.”
Bucky opened his mouth to apologize, but you held up your hand to stop him. “James Buchanan Barnes if you are fixing those gifted lips of yours to apologize, I promise you I will cut off your dick and you know how much I love it, baby. You wouldn’t want to do that to me, would you, babe?”
Laughter filled the air and it was music to your ears. Bucky’s laugh was low like his voice but it held a certain lightness that Bucky must’ve retained before joining the army.
“Ok no more apologies. But you’re gonna have someone with you at all times just to make me feel better.”
“I basically told her the same thing and she didn’t argue with me,” Erik added while he was standing in the doorway eating some jello-o.
You rolled your eyes in annoyance at the two men. They really thought you were gonna comply with them. “I didn’t argue with you because I’m too mentally tired to do so. But watch, once I’m feeling better I’m cussing both of you out for trying to tell me what to do.”
Both muttered a ‘we’ll see’ and laughed at you. Throughout the entire night the boys kept you entertained and not once did they argue. It was a rare occurrence for Bucky and Erik get along and you hoped for more of it in the future.
Sleep eventually claimed you and you were glad that you had your two favorite men by your side as it always should be
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Things Unseen: Chapter 1
The McGarretts and the Kelly-Kalakauas have been working together as spirit-speakers and anchors for generations. When Steve returns to Oahu amidst his father’s death and a failed mission, the one thing he’s looking forward to is finally having the ease of working with an anchor as powerful as him. Danny Williams throws a wrench in his plan.
Because Danny, despite the supernatural beings all around them, does not believe in ghosts. And Steve is starting to fall in love with him anyway.
[on ao3]
When Steve is in high school, his father finally partners with his true anchor. Steve meets Chin Ho Kelly after his first football game of the season, when his father drags the rookie cop down towards the field with a proud look on his face.
“Steve, I’d like you to meet Chin Ho.” Steve thinks that Chin Ho looks a little uncomfortable. He sticks out his hand with a smile anyway.
Chin Ho takes it.
“Nice to meet you, Chin Ho. Steve McGarrett,” Steve introduces himself, as though Chin Ho doesn’t already know that.
Chin Ho smiles, and says, “Just call me Chin. We’re practically family now, brah.”
Steve’s eyes widen and he looks to his father for confirmation, and he gets a small nod in response.
Chin shakes his head when he sees Jack’s answer, and elaborates on his own. “Your father’s my training officer with HPD, but more than that, it looks like I’m his anchor. Looks like you won’t be having to put up with my Auntie Launa whenever your dad needs to go on a visit.”
Jack actually smiles at that.
The McGarrett family and the Kelly-Kalakaua family have been tied together for generations, dating back farther than Steve cares to look. The McGarretts are spirit-speakers, able to communicate with unseen entities and the spirits of the deceased, the most powerful of their kind in the past several hundred years. The Kelly-Kalakauas have always been their anchors, the only ones powerful enough to tie a McGarrett to the physical world when they go to visit one of the Unseen. Without an anchor, a spirit-speaker would become untethered, their own essence detached from their body and unable to find its way back. They would die and become one of the Unseen themselves. But with an anchor, they could move back and forth between the world of the Seen and the Unseen with ease, so long as they didn’t stray too far.
A spirit-speaker could work with any anchor safely, as Jack had been doing with Chin’s Auntie. But in order to use their power to its fullest, a speaker needs their true anchor, or they could easily get lost in the Unseen, even with an anchor’s best efforts.
Steve wonders which of the Kelly-Kalakaua clan he’ll end up pairing with, knows it's inevitable that he’ll end up with one of them as his guide. It’s beyond just a tradition. Their families are so deeply connected, it’d feel wrong to work with anyone else as his anchor, he’s sure of it.
Steve looks at Chin and his father, looks at the way they already seem so at ease with each other, and he wonders.
~*~
Steve’s mom dies, and everything changes so suddenly that it sends Steve reeling.
Mary gets sent to live with their Aunt Deb, who didn’t inherit the spirit-speaker gene, just like Mary didn’t. Steve gets shipped off to Annapolis with a recommendation from his dad’s buddy Joe White. Chin is there with their father to see them off at the airport, and as they part Steve thinks about how now, he’ll never know who his true anchor is, and he’s hit with an overwhelming sadness for a brief moment.
By the time he’s stepped off the plane, he’s got all of that feeling of hurt and sad and loneliness tucked away in a neat little box in the corner of his mind.
There are plenty of anchors in the world. If the Navy decides to make use of his abilities, they’ll find him an anchor and he’ll do what he needs to and it’ll be fine. He’ll just have to be careful.
He can do this.
~*~
Freddie Hart is the strongest anchor Steve’s met outside the Kelly-Kalakaua family. It takes work, but they both make it through Annapolis and through BUD/S and the second they graduate, Steve requests that Freddie be assigned to him as his anchor. Spirit-speakers never know when their abilities might come in handy, and wouldn’t it be safest to have Freddie always by his side, in case Steve needs to make a visit?
The higher ups grumble a little bit about mediums being weird, and their dislike of the Unseen, but they agree it’s safest for Steve to have Freddie on standby, and from then on, they’re joined at the hip.
Freddie is a good anchor for Steve when he needs to make a visit. Steve is a good anchor for Freddie when the distance between him and his fiance weighs on him and he needs someone to assure him that this is all worth it. Freddie isn’t Steve’s true anchor, but he’s more than good enough. Steve can’t tap into the fullest extent of his power with Freddie, it’d be too dangerous for them both, but he can access enough of it for he and Freddie to be near indispensable for many ops. This thing that they have is good, and it’s enough to quiet the ache that raged in Steve’s chest the entire time he was without an anchor.
And then one day, Steve’s on base with Freddie and Joe White, and he feels the telltale pressure behind his eyes, the buzzing in his throat that means there’s someone trying to talk to him. He smacks Freddie on the arm because his voice is currently failing him, and Freddie clasps Steve’s hand between his own, and Steve lets go of his control.
He floats for a minute, untethered and lost, before Freddie’s voice snaps him back to attention.
“Come on Steve. Someone’s waiting on you. Who is it?”
Steve gets his legs under him and looks around the empty, hazy void of the Unseen, to find whoever had wanted to talk. There’s a young man, dressed in rags, with a gunshot wound in his forehead. His eyes are glazed over, but he still stares directly at Steve, making truly unnerving eye contact.
He tells Freddie what he sees. His lips move, but he hears his voice in his head, not in his ears. He’s speaking to Freddie, not the spirit.
To the spirit, he says, “Why did you come to me?”
The spirit responds, and then dissipates and Steve snaps back into his body with a ragged gasp, and an, “I know where Anton Hesse is.”
A few days later, he wishes he had ignored the spirit.
Because now Freddie is dead and so is his dad and Steve feels like a hole has been punched straight through him. Freddie was a part of him, even though he wasn’t Steve’s true anchor. He and Steve had bonded in a way he couldn’t describe, Freddie had been in his head, in his soul, had probably known Steve better than Steve knows himself, and now Steve is suddenly, horribly, painfully alone.
All he wants is to ask his dad how he handled losing his mom, because Steve is certain this is that bad, but he doesn’t even have his dad anymore. He returns to Hawaii and barely pauses to bury his father before he’s off after Victor Hesse.
Danny Williams is a setback, at first and then a tentative ally, but Steve needs more than that. He needs more than just a detective from Jersey with an attitude and fresh eyes. He needs someone who knows the island and who he can trust and he needs someone to help him use his fucking abilities because a spirit has been pulling at his mind since he touched down on the island.
He needs one of the Kelly-Kalakaua family.
It just so happens he now has the means to find one.
~*~
Chin Ho Kelly working as a rent a cop is not something Steve would have ever imagined, but here they are anyway. Danny eyes him up suspiciously with a raised eyebrow.
“This is the man who’s gonna help us crack this case? What are you, nuts?”
Steve shakes his head. “Chin was my father’s anchor. He’s a great cop and a good man.”
“If he’s such a great cop why is he working in this dump?” Danny asks and Steve scowls. “And what the hell are you talking about anchor?”
“My dad was a spirit-speaker, like me. Chin was his anchor. My family and Chin’s have been tied together like that for generations. If I hadn’t gone to Annapolis, I would’ve worked with people in his family until I clicked with one of them, and they would’ve been my anchor, instead of the man I worked with in the service.”
Danny scoffs, and turns to face Steve head on, stopping them in their tracks on their way to Chin’s new place of employment.
“You’re telling me, honestly telling me, that you are a medium, and that we’re here to pick up your guide?”
“That’s what they’d call us on the mainland, yeah. But Chin’s not my guide. He was my dad’s. Still, I can’t visit the Unseen world without an anchor to tether me here or I might as well be signing my own death warrant. So I need to borrow Chin until I can find Hesse.” What he doesn’t say is that he needs to borrow Chin so that he can get the spirit that’s following him to lay off. Danny doesn’t need to know that.
“You’re actually certifiable, you know that? You honestly expect me to believe that you talk to ghosts? What the hell is the matter with you? We’re actually trying to solve a case here. Your father’s murder to be specific, and you’re trying to play a practical joke on me?”
“No joking about it brah,” someone says, and Steve smiles when he looks up to see Chin approaching. “Steve McGarrett. It’s been a long time. I’m sorry about your father.”
Steve’s smile turns a little sad, but it doesn’t fade. There’s something very settling about being near Chin, even though Chin’s not his anchor. It settles the buzzing in his throat at least. That’s better than nothing.
“I didn’t see you at the funeral, man,” Steve says, and Chin’s expression falls.
“I wanted to come, but I’m not exactly a friend of HPD at the moment. I didn’t want to cause any trouble at your father’s service,” Chin explains.
Steve’s brow furrows. “What happened, man? All I ever heard from my dad was how you were the best cop he’d ever seen, and he wasn’t just saying that because you’re his anchor.”
“Few years after you left, Jack and I were out on a case. It was dark, and I was in the middle of anchoring your father, so I didn’t see the guy until it was too late. I got bit.”
“What species?” Danny asks.
“Werewolf,” Chin says, with a brief flash of his eyes. Danny raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t comment. “After I turned, people started saying things, about how I might have split allegiances cause I had a tie to a criminal pack. I didn’t, but rumors spread. And then two hundred thousand dollars went missing from the asset forfeiture locker and there was a rumor it was me and that was it. I was still on call whenever your father needed me, but other than that? I’m not really well-liked by the Honolulu Police Department.” There’s a bitter tone in Chin’s voice, but he doesn’t show it on his face.
“Did you--” Danny says.
“Don’t finish that sentence,” Steve cuts him off.
“Anyway, enough about me. What’s got you sticking around Oahu? Last I heard you were still a SEAL,” Chin says, breezing by Danny’s almost question.
“The governor’s asked me to head up a task force to tackle the major crimes on the island. I took her up on the offer.”
“You took her up on it so you could steal my crime scene,” Danny mumbles, and Chin snorts at that.
“Not even back a week and you’re running around stealing whole crime scenes from people? You really do take after your old man. What’s the case?” Chin asks.
Danny raises his eyebrows, and looks at Steve. “Yeah, Steven, why don’t you tell him what scene you stole from me?”
Steve grimaces and Chin crosses his arms. “Absolutely not. No, Steve, I won’t anchor you so you can speak with your father. You know how dangerous that is. You can’t contact your own ancestors, you know the rules.”
“Oh, so there’s rules to this crazy show now, are there?”
“Of course there are rules. You believe in other supernaturals, why not this?” Chin counters.
“Because I can see that you are a werewolf. I can see a nymph using their abilities. I can see all of that. What I cannot see are ghosts. Because they do not exist, which is why I do not believe in them,” Danny says, gesturing emphatically as though that’ll prove his point.
“You know we call them the Unseen for a reason?”
“Whatever you call them, I think this is ridiculous, but whatever you’re going to do can we get it done, so that we can get back to solving this case?”
Steve holds out his hand to Chin. “I know you’re not my anchor, but there’s a spirit that’s been following me since I touched down on the island. I need to know who they are and what they want. I swear I won’t go looking for my father. I just can’t shake the feeling this is important. I need to know who this spirit is.”
Chin sighs, and purses his lips. “Fine. But remember, I spent over a decade in Jack McGarrett’s head. I know his presence. If I feel even a hint of him there, I’m pulling you out by force, got it?”
Steve nods, and Chin clasps Steve’s hand in his own, and Steve lets go.
He goes spiralling wildly, deeper into the Unseen than he’s ever gone that fast, until, very faintly he hears, “Come back,” and he comes careening to a halt.
Steve forces his incorporeal form to right itself, and puts his feet onto the Unseen’s approximation of the ground. It’s mostly just a hazy mess in the general direction of down, but his belief that it’s a solid floor makes it so.
“Steve, Steve, Steve,” he hears.
When he finally responds, “I’m here,” his lips move but the words only sound in his head.
“Good, good. You’re looking for a spirit, the one who’s been following you since you got to the island. Remember?” Chin says. Steve did not remember. Steve tells Chin so. “Well, you know it now, that’s enough. Find them. Find the spirit. Tell me what they look like.”
Steve glances around, wanders through the Unseen for what feels like unending ages. His watch says it’s been three minutes.
The hazy ground solidifies under his feet as he walks, but it goes cloudy again when he picks his feet up. Above him, it looks just the same, but it’s a pink tinted orangey color instead of the green tinted purple underfoot. The vague outlines of buildings surround him and he gets the feeling he’s walking down a street, but everything is too blurred for him to be absolutely certain.
He wanders further and the ringing picks up in his ears telling him he’s pushing himself too far for Chin to hold onto him so he turns and wanders back. Eventually, he senses that he’s in the same place he started. The foggy outlines here resemble trees more than buildings. He wanders a little closer to the barrier of the Seen, though he’s still nowhere close to it. His watch tells him it’s been six minutes since he delved into the Unseen. Finally, he feels a spark of something up his spine, and he turns around.
The spirit is a little girl, maybe fourteen or fifteen years old, dressed in ragged denim shorts and a tank top full of holes. When she speaks, it’s in Chinese.
Steve tells all of this to Chin, even as he shivers with the thought of what it might mean.
“Talk to her, Steve. Why’s she been following you? What does she need?” Chin prompts, and Steve shakes his head. Right. He’s on a mission.
He talks to her. She tells him about how scared she is and that she doesn’t know where she is. She tells him about her family paying to come to America, and how they paid everything they had, but the men who took them decided it wasn’t enough, so they took her too. She tells him that she died alone. Steve bristles, but does not show his discontempt on his face. He gives the girl a hug and assures her that she is alright, and that no one can harm her here. He tells her he will find her family, and that she’ll see them again someday, when they come to the Unseen. It’ll be a long time for them, but time is funny here. For her it will be the blink of an eye.
In the back of his mind, Steve thinks, human traffickers could get Hesse on and off the island, without anyone else noticing. Maybe this girl can help him as much as he can help her. She can help him find his father’s killer.
When Steve asks, she gives him a description of the man who brought her family here.
Steve smiles, and hugs her again, and tells her not to worry, she’s not alone here. If she only wanders enough, she’ll find other lost spirits like her to keep her company until her family joins her in the Unseen.
And then the girl disappears, and Steve reaches out to Chin, and he slams back into his body so roughly he stumbles and falls to his knees.
When Steve looks up, Chin is crouched next to him, Danny hovering over the two of them with an incredulous look.
“You okay, Steve? You were in there for a long time. I was almost going to pull you out by force.”
Danny scoffs. “A long time? The two of you just stared at each other for,” he glances at his watch, “eight minutes and then Commander Cargo Pants collapsed dramatically. There’s nothing worrying there, it’s just weird!”
Chin shakes his head. “Time works differently in the Unseen. It may have only been eight minutes here, but for Steve, it was what, an hour?”
Steve gasps for a few more breaths and then chances a glance up again. “Felt more like a day.”
“Steve!” Chin chastises and Steve almost cows under it. “What, were you trying to drag us both into the Unseen for good?”
“It was the girl. She was so young, Chin. I hate it when they’re that young.”
“I know, I know. It’s always harder when they’re young, but I’m not your anchor, Steve. We’re not bound close enough for you to dive like that. Have you been making visits like that the whole time you’ve been away?”
Steve very determinedly avoids that question, because he has been, he was careless when he was working with Freddie and he knows it.
“Doesn’t matter. We’ve got a description of a major player in the human trafficking business on the island. Time to get back in the saddle Chin. We need a CI, someone with good connections.”
Chin hesitates for only half a second before he sighs, and holds out a hand to help Steve to his feet.
“I’ve got just the guy,” he says, and Danny, for the first time since Steve’s known him, actually smiles.
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my dad has done meth my whole life and has constantly disappointed everyone. he went to jail n stuff and was diagnosed with HPD (although I don't think that's accurate) I want to believe he can be better but don't know if I believe he really will-due to lies/the fact that a drug addiction isn't an excuse for being a shit person anyway. part of me wants him to suffer/wants him to go to jail bc of how he's made everyone else suffer. idk if we'll ever have a relationship/idk if I even want to.
same anon as drug addict dad aside from that- my relationship w/ my bff of 3 three years ended when I discovered it was all lies, my relationship w/ this boy ended bc we were both too mentally unstable, anxiety is the drive of my life, intrusive thoughts/paranoia are ruining me, my friend thinks I’m anorexic-and though I deny it I really am developing an ED. I either can’t sleep or it’s the only thing I can do. I bought some new razor blades- my legs are going to shit now. meth dad anon still my sister previously struggled w/ mental illness and had to go to the hospital. once my mom said that ‘if that ever happened again I would feel like a failure of a mother’ which made me scared/she has sorta found out in her own but hasn’t really helped me out- I think she’s in denial. my friend tells me my body is disgusting bc it’s too thin, but I love it. I am the lowest weight I’ve been in 2 ½ years but I feel fatter than ever. anyhow my life is shit idk what to do
Ok, so there’s a lot going on here (not a bad thing), so I’m going to try and divide this up into sections.
Number 1: Your dad.
Quite honestly, you don’t owe your dad a thing. If you don’t want to talk to him, if you don’t want a relationship with him, if you don’t want to forgive him, then that’s ok. Sometimes, people who share our genes aren’t our real family. Don’t feel guilty over cutting connections and moving on without him. It may be for the best. It’s also ok if you feel like you want him to suffer. He’s hurt you, and you’re allowed to be angry and spiteful, you’re allowed to hate him. Don’t feel bad because you feel this way.
Number 2: Your BFF and the boy
Sometimes, relationships end. Sometimes, it hurts like hell, but that doesn’t mean anything about you. You did not drive these people away. The circumstances weren’t right, and it was the right decision to break away if it was a friendship built on lies and a relationship that taxed you mentally. Allow yourself to grieve over these relationships, but keep moving forward. You’re probably better off.
Number 3: Intrusive thoughts are paranoia
These ones, I can relate to. My best advice is to partake in superstition to make you feel more safe, using protective sigils, wearing an evil eye bracelet and such. It makes you feel secure, like nothing can hurt you. As for the intrusive thoughts, try drawing them down. Vent art works some magic in making you feel better.
Number 4: Eating disorder and self harm:
I know how you feel, I’ve been right where you are. I know it feels like you can’t give it up, but you need to. Think of where you want to be, years from now. What job you have, maybe a partner, maybe a kid, maybe not. One thing I can tell you is that there won’t be room for these kinds of destructive behaviors in the future. They don’t have any place in your future, so you cannot let them destroy you and destroy a future and a present that could be filled with happiness. Please, talk to your friend. Get help. You will need support to get through this all.
Number 5: Your mom:
When I first told my mom I was cutting, she yelled and screamed and I cried. However, only 20 minutes at most later, she came up to my room and told me everything was going to be alright, that she was going to love and support me no matter what, and that we were going to get me help. I know it might feel like your mom couldn’t take it, but I can promise, she’d rather know, she’d rather have the opportunity to help you. She’s your mom, she wants to help you. Sit her down, talk to her about all this you’ve just told me. Let her in, she’s got your back.p
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