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chenziee · 4 years ago

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hello, can i request lawlu and frobin from outsider pov? thank you

Thank you, anon, for giving me an excuse to write this xD I hope you don’t mind some absolutely ridiculous, silly first dates with non-consensual meet-the-family.

This fic is the continuation to my Lawlu fic [Good friends (don’t) kiss] that I have wanted to write since publishing the original fic. It is absolutely NOT necessary to read the prequel to understand this fic :)

Enjoy~

Boyfriends (do) kiss

The innkeeper sighed as he leaned against his broom, looking around the mess that his cozy little inn had become. And the day began so innocently; quiet and slow like any other day. But now there was a charred table and burn spots on the floor, several broken chairs, with cutlery and shattered plates scattered all over. And that was him being lucky. He had been kindly informed some places hit by a similar disaster ended up with broken walls or windows—or both.

It all started a few hours ago when a couple of pirates came in. It was nothing to fret about; once in a while those sea rats would dock at this island and have a meal, then they would run off. None of them tended to stay very long or cause any trouble because of the small navy base just outside town, and even if they did start something, they were usually dealt with quickly. This was no backwater island with no police or competent security, after all.

So, when the two pirates entered, the innkeep paid them almost no mind. That is, until one of his regulars who had been eating his lunch at the counter whispered, "Hey, aren't those two…" He let his sentence fade out, only gesturing frantically in the direction of the two young men, making the innkeep frown and finally take a good look.

They were sitting at a table pretty much at the centre of the room, as if uncaring if anyone noticed them. That alone was not exactly normal in a marine town where pirates tended to keep low and hide in dark corners. The louder, seemingly younger one of them was stuffing his face with gusto, even stealing all the bread off of the other's plate while laughing and teasing his companion, who ate at a much slower pace.

The other one wasn't laughing along, having a much calmer and quieter demeanor, but there was an undeniable, if small, smile on his face. There was also a really familiar, yellow Jolly Roger contrasting against the back of his long, black coat but the innkeeper couldn't for the life of him place it. Narrowing his eyes, he wrecked his brain for where he had seen it, and for just who these people were.

And then his eyes fell on the straw hat hanging on the younger one's neck and it clicked.

Fucking Straw Hat Luffy and Trafalgar Law were casually having lunch in his goddamned inn. He really hoped they weren't going to be planning some big raids while at it or he would have to call the marines. Which he absolutely didn't want to do; there was always so much paperwork involved.

Praying to all that was holy that it wouldn't come to that, the innkeeper observed their interactions, watching for any suspicious movements. After all, two of the Worst Generation captains starting a fight with each other would be just as bad as them planing coups or navy base raids, as well as it was the last thing this old building needed.

Thankfully, it seemed like they were getting along just fine. They were both smiling, speaking quietly with each other and… holding hands? Ah no, that was just Trafalgar handing over the salt. Good. That would be awkward. The touch did seem a little bit too long for a casual contact though.

Just then, the door to the inn opened and in came a couple, a man and woman. Or a giant robot and woman? The robot had his arm placed gently around the woman’s shoulder so it looked like they were together at least.

“Oh! Robin, Franky, are you here to eat, too?” Straw Hat called loudly, waving at the newcomers enthusiastically, and only then did the innkeeper make the connection—they were two members of Straw Hat’s crew, the ‘Iron Man’ Franky and the ‘Demon Child’ Nico Robin. The innkeeper really didn’t like where this seemed to be going.

“That’s right, Luffy,” the cyborg said, equally loud, when the couple reached their captain’s table. “How’s the food here?”

“It’s great! Their bread is amazing,” Straw Hat replied and the innkeep made a mental note to relay the compliment to both his cook and the the town’s baker.

Nico Robin chuckled. “Torao-kun looks like he doesn’t agree.”

Trafalgar made a disgusted face before he looked at her and spoke up, “No, I don’t. But this bottomless pit ate all of my bread anyway and the rest is pretty good.”

“Of course I ate the bread for you, you hate it,” Straw Hat stated matter of factly before he grinned and leaned towards the other captain to give him a long kiss on the cheek, a gesture that earned him an embarrassed click of the tongue from the other pirate.

Oh. Suddenly, the innkeep remembered the newspaper article from three days ago, the one which had claimed the two were dating and which he had discarded as ridiculous and promptly forgot about. Maybe it wasn’t so ridiculous after all.

“You two are super cute,” the cyborg announced, making Straw Hat laugh and Trafalgar roll his eyes.

“Wanna join us?” Straw Hat gestured to the two other, currently empty chairs at the table. “We could make it a double date,” he suggested then, glancing to his boyfriend who only shrugged in response, apparently not caring either way.

The other two, however, shook their heads, and Nico Robin spoke up, “It’s your first proper date. You should enjoy it, just the two of you.” She smiled warmly at the two of them before she glanced up at her own huge companion and placed her small hand over his large one which was still resting against her shoulder. “We’ll get another table and we can meet for deserts later?”

“Sounds good!” Straw Hat and the cyborg agreed, both grinning, while Trafalgar only nodded silently at her suggestion.

The innkeeper couldn’t decide whether he was glad the four of them weren’t going to be a concentrated in one place, smack in the centre of the room no less, or if he was annoyed he would now have to keep an eye on two tables with high bounty pirates.

He barely managed to take notice of where the mismatched couple of the Iron Man and the Demon Child—who looked more like an elegant, beautiful lady than either a demon or a child—when someone at the counter called him over. He wondered when this young man got there; he hadn’t noticed him coming in or sitting down. Maybe because he was so preoccupied by the cursed sea dogs.

“Thank you for waiting, sir. What would you like?” the innkeeper asked the man with blond, wavy hair and what looked like a burn scar over his eye. There was a black top hat with a pair of goggles around it lying in the counter next to him.

The man smiled, putting a ten thousand beri bill on the counter. “When Trafalgar Law asks for a drink, can you add this into it?” he asked, pulling out a small bottle.

The innkeeper blinked, staring at the bottle for a moment before slowly looking up to meet the stranger’s eyes. “Are you asking me to poison a man worth 500 million beri?”

“It won’t kill him.” An unhappy, maybe even angry expression appearing on his face before he continued, voice lowering dangerously, “It will just make him regret every decision he had ever made that led to him being here.”

The innkeeper scowled, folding his arms across his chest as he regarded the man. “There will be no poisonings in my inn, lethal or not. I don’t care what your issue with him is but settle it somewhere else.”

“Damn,” the blond cursed, pocketing both the bottle and the bill. “Guess I’ll have to light his face on fire after all. Thanks anyway.”

As soon as he was done speaking, he turned around in his chair to glare at the table where his apparent nemesis was now ruffling his boyfriend’s hair while Straw Hat giggled, trying to push his hand away. When he finally succeeded, he didn’t let go; instead, he laced their fingers together and mumbled something that made Trafalgar look away in obvious embarrassment.

Suddenly, something bright caught the innkeeper’s eyes and when he looked what it was, he gasped. “Sir, you’re on fire!” he cried in alarm.

The blond startled, looking at his hand as if he only just realized it was engulfed in angry, crackling flames. “Whoops. Sorry,” he simply apologized, shanking the hand until the flame died down to nothing. After a mere second, it was as if there was no fire at all. “Glad to know Ace is angry, too.”

“Sabo! What are you doing here?” Straw Hat cried a moment later, jumping up and basically bouncing in place, and the blond cursed at being spotted.

He waved at the pirate awkwardly. “Hey, Luffy. Just—” he paused, seemingly wrecking his brain for a plausible answer— “passing by.”

That was the worst excuse the innkeep had ever heard, and that was counting all the excuses men have ever given to their angry wives who came to pick them up after a night of drinking.

But Straw Hat grinned, nodding happily as if it made perfect sense. Trafalgar Law, on the other hand, eyed the man suspiciously. “Your brother probably came to check up on you, Straw Hat-ya. Since the papers wrote about us,” he said flatly, making the blond glare at him.

Wait. ‘Sabo.’ Straw Hat’s brother. The Chief of Staff of the Revolutionary Army? That Sabo? This day was getting seriously ridiculous. What was next, a Celestial Dragon?

He barely managed to finish the thought when the entrance door burst open and in came two old men and a goat. The innkeeper couldn’t believe his eyes. They weren’t Celestial Dragons but at this point they might as well be. The goddamn Hero of the Marines Garp and former Fleet Admiral Sengoku had just walked into his inn and he felt like he might faint. Between four infamous pirates, number two of the revolutionary army, and two legendary marines, it would be a miracle if his inn was still standing by the end of the day.

“Luffy!” Garp roared, stomping forward.

Straw Hat flinched in response, immediately raising his arms in a attempt to block the fist that was coming at his head from above. “Gramps! What are you doing here?”

“Dating a pirate? You brat, you’re a hundred years early to pull something like this!” Garp growled, hitting Straw Hat once more.

“Ouch! Why does it hurt even when I use haki?” Straw Hat whined after taking a step back at the impact, his chair clattering to the floor. “And what do you care who I’m dating?” He went to punch back.

Garp side stepped him, grabbing his arm and stopping it from hitting some of the innocent customers who were scurrying to get out of the inn. “Because it’s a fist of love,” Garp said, as if that explained anything.

The innkeeper really wanted run away like his customers did but he was frozen in place, watching the scuffle happening. This was honestly the most bizzare pirate versus marine fight he had ever witnessed, possibly the most bizzare one anyone had ever witnessed. Neither was trying to beat the other, there was no attempt at capture or escape—if you didn’t count Trafalgar quickly backing away from the screaming duo in the direction of cyborg Franky and Nico Robin, who both looked entirely too entertained. At least Trafalgar’s face said he was about as happy about the turn of events as the innkeeper himself was.

A second later, in a flurry of flames, the revolutionary at the counter jumped forward, standing in between Straw Hat and Garp. “Gramps, wait. You should be beating up him,” he said sharply, pointing at Trafalgar, who was by then lounging in the chair next to Nico Robin, coffee cup he was offered by the woman in hand.

“Leave me out of this,” he called back, raising his free hand in a vaguely threatening motion, the air swirling around under his palm with in devil fruit power.

“Yes, leave him out of this!” Straw Hat snapped, throwing a punch at Sabo instead.

The bartender watched in horror as the punch went through the blond, spitting flames all around and setting a table on fire. At least the man quickly put out the flames but the damage was done and the table charred black.

Garp’s attention turned to the revolutionary then, his hand landing on his shoulder and squeezing until Sabo hissed in pain. “Hello, Mr Revolutionary. Do you care to explain?”

“Why are you so angry, we told you we didn’t want to be marines right from the start!”

“Baa!” The innkeeper’s gaze followed after the sudden sound, dropping from the scene of disaster to his knees where Fleet Admiral Sengoku’s goat was gently chewing on the wash cloth he had hanging from his belt. At least someone in here looked like they couldn’t care less about whatever it was that was happening around them. The innkeeper let go of a long, deep sigh, and stroked the goat’s head.

“Thank you,” he said to the goat earnestly, to which the animal only blinked and continued chewing.

Raising his eyes to look for the goat’s owner, he found the man slowly approaching the remaining three outlaws, dropping in the last available chair at their table—after turning it around to get a better view of the fight at the centre of the room. The three visibly tensed up at their new company, but Sengoku only looked at them blanky before raising the packet in his hand.

“Want a rice cake?”

The pirates stared at him, the cyborg moving forward a little to shield Nico Robin from the old marine.

Sengoku, however, only crossed his legs and leaned back in his chair, looking as uncaring as could be. “Relax. I’m retired. I have no obligation to keep up with any new wanted posters so I have no idea who you people are. I’m just here to enjoy the show.”

It was a transparent lie, there was no way the man didn’t know he was sitting at the table with a former Shichibukai and a woman who had been hunted by the world government for twenty-something years, and the innkeeper couldn’t help but stare at the scene before him with an open mouth. Was this seriously, seriously happening? In his inn?

When it became apparent that Sengoku wasn’t a threat to them right then, the strange couple and Trafalgar slowly relaxed and the marine smiled, gesturing with his packet again. Finally, Trafalgar reached forward, grabbing a rice cake and tentatively taking a bite.

Soon, he was followed by Nico Robin who pulled out two, handing one of them to Franky who thanked her with a quick kiss before he took it from her hand. For a moment all four of them simply munched on their rice cakes in silence, watching while Straw Hat, Sabo, and Garp bickered and wrecked the whole goddamn inn while at it.

The entire thing was so ridiculous, so completely absurd, that the innkeeper wanted to cry.

It took them almost an hour after that to finally file out of the inn, leaving behind only absolute mess and destruction. At least Sengoku had assured the innkeeper in passing that the Navy would pay for the damages while he had ordered a tea.

He really hoped the marines wouldn’t complain about it since he would be forced to bill them eight people worth of food on top of all this, as the four pirates didn’t even pay for their own food or drinks.

Pirates, he thought to himself, finally tossing his broom aside and opening a bottle of rum instead.

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stormtide-leviathan · 4 years ago

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Kaldheim Booster Challenge

I posted this on reddit, if you’d rather check it out there, but I wanted to share it here too b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶i̶'̶m̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶s̶t̶a̶n̶t̶l̶y̶ ̶d̶e̶s̶p̶e̶r̶a̶t̶e̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶a̶f̶f̶i̶r̶m̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶.

In the third great designer search, there was a challenge to pick a set and make a booster pack full of custom cards that fit in that set. I’ve started doing this for sets since Zendikar rising, and wanted to continue that tradition here. Why am I doing this so late after the release of Kaldheim? Cause shuttup, that’s why >:(

Here’s the link to the full imgur album. There are also individual imgur links even though there are images, cause reddit doesn’t allow images directly and I’m copy/pasting from there.

Anyway, let’s get started! (Long post ahead)

Common #1:

Divine Goat 3W

Creature- Goat

W, Sacrifice ~: You gain 3 life.

Whenever you cast your second spell each turn, return ~ from your graveyard to your hand.

Here’s a top down design, based on Thor’s goats that pulled his chariot and were sacrificed for food every night and reborn in the morning. Originally the recursion triggered based on Vehicles, but with two other vehicle cards in the booster including the other white common, one had to go and this was the best option, but I still liked the flavor so I went with another of white’s themes.

Common #2:

Dwarven Elder 2W

Creature- Dwarf Warrior

Whenever ~ crews a Vehicle, draw a card.

2/2

The fabled white card draw. Yes, I am your savior. Your messiah. Bow before my wisdom. I could technically see this design in either white or blue, but I liked white better and white cares more about vehicles anyway. I based the costing off Stealer of Secrets. This doesn’t put itself in danger, but relies much more on deck building to activate.

Common #3:

Ambusher Giant 5U

Creature- Giant Warrior

Flash

Foretell 3U (During your turn, you may pay 2 and exile this card from your hand face down. Cast it on a later turn for its foretell cost.)

4/4

Foretell works really well with instant speed, so I thought a big instant speed creature would be a good fit. Since blue has a giant tribal theme, and is one of the main colors for foretell, it was an obvious fit.

Common #4:

Heated Rebuttal 1U

Instant

Counter target spell unless its controller pays 2. They can’t spend S to pay this cost. (S is mana from a snow source.)

Here’s another snow hate card. What I really wanted to do with this was discourage running snow basics where you don’t have to, and though we have the god in the set that does this I think this is an issue that’s solved with both quality and quantity. I wasn’t sure on the power level of this for standard purposes, but I’d rather this more pushed version than be too weak and have it not do anything against snow.

Common #5:

Shapeshifter’s Trickery 1U

Enchantment- Aura

Enchant Creature

Enchanted creature gets +1/+0, is every creature type, and can’t be blocked.

Not too much to say here really. This is good for the tribal synergies in the set, and is just an innocuous little aura for limited. Not everything is gonna be pushing boundaries.

Common #6:

Draugr Fleshchewer 1B

Snow Creature- Zombie Berserker

Whenever Draugr Fleshchewer attacks, mill two cards. If a snow card was milled this way, Draugr Fleshchewer gains menace until end of turn.

2/2

This originally worked with the “exile a creature card from your graveyard” subtheme, but I had to change this to snow and I couldn’t get a good snowy design that used that mechanic. So instead, it fuels it. I also wanted to have another card that cares about the existence of snow instants/sorceries because they were introduced this set and the number of cards that only work with snow permanent cards when they don’t have to is strange.

Common #7:

Arrogant Stand 3R

Sorcery

Creatures without a boast ability can’t block this turn.

Here’s a simple little card that plays around with the flavorful space of boast. You have to be very full of yourself to stand up to the oncoming attack.

Common #8:

Winterdark Ritual 2R

Snow Instant

Add three mana of any one color.

Foretell R (During your turn, you may pay 2 and exile this card from your hand face down. Cast it on a later turn for its foretell cost.)

Is the name completely on the nose? Absolutely. And I find that hilarious. This is taking advantage of the fact that foretell is payed in multiple payments to turn that into mana storage. And it’s snow, because snow rituals are new to the set, play well, and I don’t think it makes it too powerful, though this has a lot of little factors to it that might push it over the edge. Any number of them could easily be tweaked though.

Common #9:

Blessing of Koma G

Enchantment- Aura

Enchant creature

Enchanted creature has “T: Add one mana of any color.”

2, Sacrifice ~: Draw a card.

This card is secretly also a snow card. The intention is, you can enchant snow creatures with it to get extra snow mana. However, it’s not snow itself because a) I thought that made for a cool moment of discovery and b) If it was snow, a lot of players would mistakenly think the mana is snow whether or not the creature it enchants is.

Common #10:

Boulderskin Troll 3G

Creature- Troll Warrior

When ~ dies, search your library for a Forest or Mountain card and put it onto the battlefield tapped. Shuffle your library.

3/2

I really wanted this card to be red. See, the legend goes that when a troll goes out in the sun it turns into rock and I thought tutoring for a Mountain when it died would be a good way to do that. However, I just couldn’t find a good way to do that which felt red, so I had to make this green. Luckily red/green are the troll colors so it could still find a mountain. I specifically chose nonbasic so that it could synergize with the snow duals at common.

Uncommon #1:

Immerstrum Berserker 3BB

Creature- Demon Berserker

Boast- 2B: ~ gains lifelink until end of turn. (Activate this ability only once each turn and only if this creature attacked this turn.)

Boast- 1B: Each opponent discards a card. (You may activate both boasts in a single turn.)

5/3

It has two boasts. Ya know how most creatures only have one boast, if any? Well not this, it has two. That’s it. That’s the design.

Uncommon #2:

Master Shipcrafter 1R

Creature- Dwarf Artificer

1R: ~ gets +2/+0 until end of turn.

Whenever a creature you control crews a Vehicle for the first time each turn, that Vehicle gains that creature’s activated abilities until end of turn.

0/2

There’s this weird tension in the set where R/W both encourages you to play a lot of vehicles, and has a lot of boast creatures, which do not work well at all together. This card is an attempt to fix that. Originally it just worked with boast, #notallactivatedabilities, but that was an extremely narrow card so I widened the scope. There’s certainly some weird combos you can do with this, but nothing too bad in limited though.

Uncommon #3:

Ring of Kinship 2

Artifact- Equipment

Equipped creature gets +1/+1

Creature spells you cast that share a creature type with equipped creature cost 1 less to cast.

Equip 1

I’m a big fan of equipment and auras that have a universal effect that cares about a quality of the equipped creature. I dunno why, but it tickles me. Creature type is a good thing to care about on designs like this though, and I wanted both an equipment and a tribal reward in the booster, so it was a good fit.

Rare:

Kvasha, God of Magic 3UU

Legendary Creature- God

Flying

When ~ enters the battlefield, create a 1/1 white Spirit creature token with flying for each enchantment you control and each enchantment card in your graveyard.

Sacrifice a Spirit: You may cast spells as though they have flash this turn.

Kvasha’s Birth 2GW

Enchantment- Saga

I, II: Until your next turn, whenever ~ or another enchantment enters the battlefield under your control, draw a card.

III: Mill six cards. Exile ~ then return it to the battlefield face-up.

I’m genuinely really sad they didn’t do a god with a saga as its backside, it could have been really cool. So I made one myself!! I wanted it to at least be feasible as a commander for a Saga deck, and since Kaldheim has a lot of enchantments running around I figured it could use an enchantress like this. The tricky part was, I had to make a blue card that could also feasibly be a selesnya card, since the saga turns into it. It also works well with the tribal themes and the spirit subtype in the set, though that’s more of a bonus than anything else. If you’re wondering why this card looks different, that’s for two reasons. One, I can’t make Sagas on MSE. And two, this overlapped nicely with the Inventor’s Fair contest of the week on tumblr, which I use mtg.design for since it’s easier to get links that way. (Check them out! @inventors-fair That contest is what finally pushed me to finish this booster).

Basic:

Snow-Covered Swamp

Snow Land- Swamp

T: Add B.

Look, it's a snow-covered swamp. I needed a snasic in here. I dunno what else you want from me.

So there we go!! Finally!! The booster challenge that took weeks longer than it should have. What do you think of the designs? Do you think they would fit well within Kaldheim? If not, how could I fix them? Also I probably made a formatting mistake somewhere in here so if you notice like, a wrong link or something let me know. Also, if you want me to tackle an old set feel free to request it, though since this took me weeks for some reason I can’t make any promises lol.

Here’s boosters I’ve done before:

- Zendikar Rising: Reddit

- Commander Legends: Reddit // Tumblr

#mtg #magic #magic the gathering #custommagic #custommtg #kaldheim #booster challenge #long post #original post

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fangirlinglikeabus · 5 years ago

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i read some non vna dw books a while ago but because i am a Clown i’ve only just finished typing up notes on them...i think my next dw book i’ll make notes as i go rather than just marking the pages and Hoping I Remember. anyway! here’s my thoughts on thirteen doctors 13 stories. i have more opinions on some than others.

A BIG HAND FOR THE DOCTOR

"...Susan, who was possibly the only person in the universe who could make the Doctor smile at the mere thought of her."

awwwwww

didn't really like this one that much - i wasn't too impressed with eoin colfer's characterisation of the first doctor (esp since pre-ian and barbara i don’t think he’d willingly attempt to stop some villains until susan was in danger)

THE NAMELESS CITY

Polly...once described him as looking like an unmade bed.

lmao

...he didn't know exactly what he was, though when he was growing up, he had heard tales of the legendary fairy creatures of the Unseelie Court who haunted Scotland's deepest valleys. He suspected the Doctor might be one of the dark Sith.

HEAVILY vibe with this concept the world is saved by bagpipes.......peak dw THE SPEAR OF DESTINY

"You know what I love about London?" he said, turning to her briefly. She sighed. "I'm sure I can't guess." "It's the only city in the universe where you can drive around in a car that's seventy years old and get away with it." "Who says you're getting away with it?" Jo muttered.

nkdfsjksn

"Fire away!"

"Oh, Doctor, please. Not after that business at the museum."

no doctor is immune to the temptation of a good pun. no matter how inappropriate. actually i really like how jo and three are written in this generally. there's so many good scenes. also, when the doctor asks her why she doesn't know anything about the vikings: "Doctor, we did the Romans. Every year." rip jo

From a distance the Doctor watched as a group of about twenty men loaded the TARDIS on to the back of a large low wagon pulled by four sturdy oxen.

jo: the doctor told me about the perception filter on the tardis so it'll be fine! they won't even spot it. literally the next scene, immediately:

She longed to stand and give this old goat a piece of her mind, but she knew she'd most likely fall over if she tried, which wasn't the effect she was after.

aw jo :(

"Do you know they wash once a week?" "Could have fooled me," muttered Jo.

*desperately resists the urge to write down every jo line in this story*

"I have the ship. And I have the spear. What need have I of you any more?"

the master is betrayed. to the surprise of no-one but himself.

The Doctor held her by the shoulders. "My dear girl," he said. "That is very noble of you. You were right. Your aspirations /are/ the very noblest. But you're wrong about something. Nothing is more important than you."

me, sobbing:

ROOTS OF EVIL

realised as i was reading this that i don't own any books featuring leela.....a crime

"Surprise!" the Doctor said. "You know you were complaining that you missed trees?"

this is actually the cutest thing no-one look at me

She could never understand why the Doctor was so careless of danger. It was a good thing he had her to look after him, she thought, as he opened the TARDIS door and they stepped out together into dim, green light and the earthy, warm-compost smell inside the great tree.

phillip reeve gets the four+leela dynamic. like. he Gets it.

"It will not hurt you," she promised. "It is called a 'scarf'. It is like a cloak, only pointless."

ousdofnsoksfd

"Did it look a bit like a gravel pit? You'd be amazed how many alien worlds look just like gravel pits..."

what is doctor who. without quarry jokes.

"I mean, he's wearing a bow tie!" the Doctor explained patiently. "Ridiculous objects! I wouldn't be seen dead in a bow tie!"

1) says the guy who wears an obnoxiously long scarf everywhere 2) honey, you've got a big storm coming

TIP OF THE TONGUE

there's a scene in this where nyssa and the doctor chill at a diner and they drink chocolate milkshakes together. this is all i care about.

Good Lord, was that celery he was wearing on his lapel?

Yeah We Know

"Are you British?" Nettie said, as if this was the most surprising part of the whole thing.

i mean, fair

He paused. "I don't suppose either of you would be interested in travelling?"

the fifth doctor: hey one of my friends died recently and i abandoned the other one but i really miss having a large crew so i was wondering if you two literal children would like to risk your life travelling with me :)

SOMETHING BORROWED

you'd think given this one is from peri's pov she'd be slightly more central to the plot. ah well.

"That's two storeys up!" I exclaimed. "And I'm in heels." "Well then, you should have worn more sensible shoes, shouldn't you?"

maybe she lives in hope that she won't have to do any running/scale buildings every time she steps out of the tardis. i get that.

"Well, you are the expert when it comes to gaudy," I said, giving a meaningful look to his red-and-yellow plaid coat and green tie.

every six story is legally obligated to drag his coat

The Doctor shook the man's hand vigorously. "Yes, yes. A little different round the edges since our last meeting on Kiri 4, but all the charm and intellect are still here."

i love this bastard.......

"Love? That contrived, chemically driven state of idiocy?"

mood

A clatter of metal was the sole warning I had before a hole in the ceiling suddenly opened, and the Doctor came tumbling down to the floor, landing in an ungraceful heap of rainbow plaid. Nonetheless, he rose to his feet with all the dignity of an Olympic gymnast who'd just landed a perfect somersault.

not to sound like a broken record but i would Die for this idiot

withholding myself from using more quotes to illustrate my unbridled love for the sixth doctor whom..........

"You might regret not helping me with this one day," she [the Rani] called over to us. "Your next regeneration may be sooner than you think."

Huh. I Wonder What That's Referring To

RIPPLE EFFECT

From the look on his face, Ace reckoned that a visit to the Time Lords was something similar to her having to visit the dentist back on Earth.

i mean to be fair.....the time lords are a whole lot worse although in this case the doctor's reasons for not wanting to visit are: (i) they're 'old, boring and judgemental' (ii) they have stupid clothes and a stupid non-intervention policy (iii) they treat him 'like a naughty schoolboy' (can't have that in front of your companion!)

i apparently didn't have many comments to make on this one. um...it was good. i liked the idea of an alternate universe with nice daleks. MOVING ON

SPORE

"They're all dead....everyone's dead, flesh turned to liquid. It moves...There are things! Moving things! They're alive..." Major Platt looked up at the Doctor. "The caller became incoherent after that and disconnected shortly after." The Doctor drummed his fingers thoughtfully against the top of the aluminium folding-table between them. "Hmm...That really doesn't sound very good."

YEAH YA THINK?

"I was at the opera," the Doctor explained, "when my phone went off."

this is his excuse for That outfit. really just copying everything from grace here huh

THE BEAST OF BABYLON

She also didn't yet know that he wasn't a man at all.

yeah cos he's non-binary duh

"So now we're landing on Earth," he shouted, "two thousand years before the birth of Christ..." "Who?" "He was a bit like Sherlock Holmes. Knew the answers to everything. Very good at solving mysteries. Some humans use him to measure time."

obsessed with the implications of this dialogue...

THE MYSTERY OF THE HAUNTED COTTAGE

absolutely love the concept of this one...a world created from martha's memories of reading a famous five expy as a child

"What?" Martha said defensively, keeping her voice down. "That's how he was described in the books. Don't blame me. This was 1951. Everything back then was blinkered, sexist, and ever-so-slightly racist. It was a backward time." "Ah, yes," said the Doctor, "because 2007 has none of those things."

vibe with this convo

"Am I lonely?" Martha asked. "You're a particle of dust," the Doctor said. "Of course you're not lonely." "I sound lonely." "Well you're not; you're having a great time."

this conversation where the doctor tells martha to imagine herself as a particle of dust has exactly the same kind of energy as discussions you have at 3am at a sleepover

NOTHING O'CLOCK

Amy looked irritated. She wasn't irritated, but she liked to give him the impression she was, just to show him who was boss.

yeah...

ok the villains in this one are actually really fucked up like. it's been a While since i read it now because i procrastinated on making these notes but they were Good creepy. thank you mr gaiman.

LIGHTS OUT

now THIS is one where the pov heavily contributes to the story...

He turns to look at me with piercing, hollow-set grey eyes, then furrows his impressive silvery brows. "I'm buying a coffee," he says. "For a girl."

so THAT'S why twelve took so long to find coffee for clara......he wasn't buying it on earth. good vibes

TIME LAPSE

i absolutely LOVE the concept for this one, which is that the year 2004 completely disappears from records

A typed envelope reading The Doctor, The TARDIS, Ex-Gallifrey followed by a long string of numbers, letters, and things that probably were letters but looked like they came from about eight different languages.

obsessed with the fact that (i) you can apparently send letters to the tardis, like it has an actual address (mel throwing a message in a bottle into space doesn't seem so unreasonable now huh...) (ii) part of this address is 'ex-gallifrey'

this dude gets rejected. and is so badly embarrassed that he erases 2004 from existence. i promise i'm not making this up.

#laura reads dw books #long post #oof i promise the other one i've got notes for isn't this long.....i just had a lot of Thoughts #aside from eoin colfer's i actually really enjoyed all the stories! would highly recommend this collection

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kierongillen · 7 years ago

Text

Writer Notes: the Wicked + the Divine 455

Spoilers, obv.

The specials have been quite the time, having several ways to stress everyone the hell out. The amount of work that goes into a special is far more than any single script can justify in cold commercial terms. It's lucky that I'm only choosing periods that I'm interested in researching to death.

I suspect (or at least hope) that in terms of background reading, 455 is the most. 1831 was hard, but is a relatively tight period I looked at in depth. 455 basically involved researching the whole of the Western Roman Empire. This means the work was a much broader sweep. In the same way I suspected the 1831 story would be about Frankenstein, I knew this would probably be about what happened at one of the sacks of Rome. Not definitely – I've always got room to change tack if something more profitable turns up in the research – but likely.

As I started work, I realised the main advantage of the sack near the end of the Western Roman Empire is that it means you can do a swan song for the whole thing. Everything has already happened, so you can use it all. Thus we've got something which feels a little like a Roman Greatest Hits story.

Simultaneously, there's the awareness that while I think a lot of this is relatively well known, even the most basic facts aren't. Early readers made me aware that even basic ideas like Julius Caesar being dead for 500 years by this period can't be assumed – a level of historical literacy equivalent of not blinking if Joan of Arc turned up in a WW2 story. That's just audiences, and the vague sense of “Rome stuff” fills about 1000 years of people's imagination. As such, that our story is acounter-history required the introduction of what the real history actually was.

As I knew this was coming along way off, the research was a slow boil. I knew Rome, in various periods, relatively well. From the Punic Wars to Augustus is stuff I've read about many times – Carthage is something I've always wanted to do a story about. What I was looking for is a long sweep across the whole thing, to live with it a while, and let me think along the way. The actual device I used was The History Of Rome podcast by Mike Duncan, which goes from legendary prehistory to about 20 years after 455. It's about 60 hours of stuff, by my rough match, which I worked into my listening routine – which is mainly when working out, running, travelling or doing the dishes. I listen to my podcasts at 1.5x.

That was for most of 2016. After that, it was digging down into specific texts, the majority which happened in December/January. Trying to play with various theories about the decline of the Roman Empire was paramount. Everyone has one, and be suspicious of anyone who gives you one reason. The book which generally was most influential in terms of how I chose to present Rome was The Fall of the Roman Empire: A New History by Peter Heather, which basically forwards the idea that Rome fell due to trade across their borders creating increased population density of Barbarian tribes which (as opposed to earlier periods) the Romans were unwilling to integrate into the fabric of the Empire.

I went with my own counter-theory, of course, which was that an Old Lady Did It.

(The Old Lady Did It is a Roman Trope of long standing. I'm a proud owner of a Livia Did It T-shirt.)

Anyway – too much research, and I'll try and drop some things I'd wanted to use but didn't as we go through it. Suffice to say, there's nothing comforting about reading about Rome in the current political climate.

Anyway – Andre! I'd first encountered his work in Avengers AI, written by my friend Sam Humphries. That weird, neon-infused Cyberpunk vibe was a big part of the book's appeal for me, so I started following him. I believe we started talking properly around the time of his own Man Plus, which was is a Otomo-does-Akira-In-Portugal kick, and was another thing which made me file Andre in my “Sci-fi artist file.”

However, after we got talking, he showed me some of his other in-development pitches, which included historical and fantasy work. Which made me go “Hmm.” He's got a mass of gifts, but I had one image that I knew I needed for 455 – the Roman Triumph, with a God in the chariot. That demanded a certain sort of artist, namely one who was happy to actually draw a triumph in all its ludicrous glory. Andre, someone whose work had more than its fair share of city-scapes and crowds, seemed like someone who'd nail that – plus the confluence of European and Manga influences in the work would gel interestingly. We'd get Rome as a place, and that's what we needed.

He was working on Generation Gone with Ales Kot, but they talked, and Andre took as month off the preparation for that to do the special. Thanks, guys.

Colours are provided by Matt “Eisner For Matt” Wilson, and seeing how the two of them worked together was definitely one of the more intriguing parts of the process.

Andre's Cover

Done early, before the script was actually completed, which meant we were more conservative with the choice. The Laurel reef being lowered by elderly hands, the arrogance of it. A call back to the head-shots of the first year of WicDiv too. Also, compare and contrast Matt's colouring choices here with his ones in the issue. This is a much more subdued, chalkier mode. Or that's wot I think anyway.

Jamie's Cover| We were originally talking about statues of multiple gods, but as the script was still in process we didn't want to tie down any of the cast bar Lucifer. Equally, we leaned symbolic on the cover – the flames of Rome, the statue, the grafitti's Chi-Ro in paint (or blood)? Symbolic is good. We like Symbolic.

The Chi-Ro is an old Christian symbol. It's what they say Constantine had his soldiers paint on his shields to ensure victory. My fave thing of Constantine from the research was that while he was more responsible than any for the Christianization of the Empire, he didn't convert until just before his death. I enjoy the theory that it's because the idea that baptizing may have been a one-time “clear all your sins” opportunity. The idea of confession and absolution wasn't around as much. So if you convert and then commit a mortal sin, you're off to hell. But if you commit a mortal sin and then convert, you're fine. So Constantine may have just been gaming Christianity to ensure the best chance of a good afterlife.

IFC

Oh god. Looking at the last paragraph makes me think this could be eternally long if I just keep on stopping and telling you fun anecdotes from memory. Also, factually dubious, as they're from memory, and my memory cannot be trusted.

Jamie designed the icons, and had to work out what vibe to give it. I suspect he was grateful to me for having most the cast already being dead so saving him work.

The Inverted Chi-Ro isn't a real symbol anyone used, but our best way to make a Lucifer. The biggest historical cheat in the series is using any Lucifer figure like this in the period – as far as I'm aware, the idea of a singular satanic adversary in this mode simply wasn't around. But it dovetails with our mythology.

I get asked whether any special will happen earlier in the cycle. The tendency to lean towards the ends is basically the same urge which pushed towards a Roman Special at the fall. Ends let you write about the whole thing. It's only at the end where you can say with any hope of being correct what was really happening, and even then it's only a hope.

But the 1920s special is a little earlier than the end, if only because we've seen the actual end in issue 1.

(More on the 1920s special soon – there's been a few changes in my planning on that.)

The text on the page is the standard WicDiv one, but the final two lines, briefly explaining the history of the Vandal sack in 455 were added at lettering to provide the necessary context to a reader.

Page 1-2

Steady angle shot, three panels on each page. The issue has been compare to Uber by several readers, primarily for the volume of the violence and the detail of the historical focus. It's also a little like it in its storytelling like this – this lingering attempt to make a scene very normal. We don't see the battle against the Vandals – instead, we observe from a distance. We try and make it documentary, with us an observer.

The animal being gutted is a goat.

An example of an earlier tweak, the shepherd's first line was “Wh...who in god's name are you meant to be?” This could read as that our Lucifer actually is Julius. Changing it to “Dressed up as?” brings the artifice closer to the surface. While the nature of lucifer/Julius is explained in a few pages time, it's not meant to be a mystery. Creating a false uninteresting question is just a distraction for the reader.

I kind of laugh at the idea of Lucifer wandering around near Rome, trying to find an army.

Ave Atque Vale! Is a quote from Catallus, related to death. Originally was Ave in my first draft, which of course means “Hello!” so makes no sense to say when he's heading away to the shepherd. If you were generous, you could say he was greeting the Vandals.

The first pages which Matt coloured were these, and when I saw them, I knew it was going to be something special.

Yes, panicked sheep in the second panel of page 2 is a star.

Page 3-4

WicDiv is about many things, but “The fucking obvious” certainly rates highly. Triumphs are one of the big core Roman rituals we think of, when a general is given a personal parade. They're rare and hugely important. The slave whispering “remember you are only a man” to warn against hubris is the detail which everyone loves. Clearly, in WicDiv, the resonances are all kinds of fun.

In terms of how comics panels are not one moment in time, have a nose at the last panel. You read the line, then the Oh!, and then the response of the slave seeing something, and then you look at the miracle, the smug, painted face, of Lucifer, and his Heh. That's a little journey.

The red face paint is ceremonial, to be akin to Jupiter. Bear that in mind for later, obv.

The big triumph is the first issue money shot – after 3 pages of very low atmosphere, we have the sprawl of Rome. Choosing the direction of the march was key – I gave Andre the best guess route of the triumph, and he chose his angle. By luck, he would enter via the gate here Lucifer is dragged out at the end of the issue. The triumph also ends at the temple of Jupiter, which is yet more fun subtext for those who really like digging into it.

We tweaked the colouring on the crowds, to try and get more of the cosmopolitan nature of Rome. The majority of legionnaires are white, but that's because most were Germanic in this period.

The triumph was originally planned for a spread, but I decided I needed another page later in the comic.

Page 5

Title drop, and a bleak laugh. The idea of calling a story IMPERIAL PHASE which isn't in the actual Imperial Phase trade came from thinking of Julian Cope having his single World Shut Your Mouth not on the album World Shut Your Mouth, an idea he in turn got from some sixties band I haven't time to look up.

The date was tricky to decide exactly, due to the timeline of real world events I wanted to get in. Clearly, for full trash-Roman pulp, I'd have pushed this story March, so I could Ides of March it, but alas, no dice.

Page 6

Nice atmosphere in the first panel, in terms of going from the chaos of the Triumph to something a little more contemplative.

Enter Dionysus/Bacchus. Flashback colours and... one of the thoughts of Matt was that the SFX budget for God Stuff would be lower back here. So the god powers aren't quite as SFX-y as they are in the present day. Not that there's much here, but I'm reminded by how low-key this is. The intent here is that he's done his god thing on stage and come off... but he could just be an actor, which is about as close as WicDiv gets to a 1:1 thing.

The nature of art in Rome (or “Rome”) is key here, and talked throughout. Actors were the underclass. To act was to be disreputable. The “actress as sexworker” trope arrives in Rome, I believe. I reference Lou Reed in the panel descriptions, in terms of these being a Walk On The Wild Side Romans.

Falerian is a type of fine wine. Mithras is presumably one of the other gods – Scythia being a place.

The nature of Imperial Phase has been about women involved with women, which has nagged. Having the humanising part of the story be a love story between men felt timely. It was a place we could do it, so we should. Though more on that later, in terms of the specifics.

There was the obvious worry of doing it, of course – where Lucifer ends up. Lucifer is not good representation. I haven't seen anyone pick up on that angle. We spend a lot of time worrying about stuff no-one picks up on, which is why we spend all that time worrying about it.

The word “play” is, of course, loaded, as are the name changes. Story about identity, we are in it.

Page 7

The best thing about the specials is definitely getting a chance to write Ananke again. She is a fun time.

If I had more space, I'd have almost certainly done more with Lucifer's adventures during the day. It's worth stressing that by this point, I believe Gladiatorial fights were no longer actually happening in Rome, due to Christianisation. My research has went straight on from Western Rome and barged into Byzantine Rome, and the story of the chariot races there is a delight.

Page 7-8

These scenes are very much me getting my I, Claudius on. Very limited set, two actors going off at one another. Of course, all of this will resonate with anyone who's been following the main series.

Panels 3 and 4 on page 7 are the bit of tight acting I like most from Andre here – it's all about the actions, and the space, with us positioned a little back from it.

I smile at Lucifer referencing something that was said of 2014-Lucifer in the first arc. Ananke has been doing this for a very long time.

A quick buzz through various other gods' fates in the first panel on page 8. There's a lot of historical reference packed in there to unpack for those who wish.

The Inanna/Attila The Hun panel is, I think, the largest panel description in the issue. Well... not true. The Rome Triumph one is much longer, but that's a splash. This one included a potted history of a bunch of Hun-related information for Andre to play with, in terms of deciding the looks, etc.

It was also the most discussed panel at the stage of pencils – avoiding objectifying Inanna here was key.

Attila The Hun died on (one of his) wedding night in the real life.

The “As I understand” is pretty key in the captions, as is other distancing effects. Lucifer would not have been a god when Inanna did this. It is very early in this pantheon's time.

I think this may be a place to have a word about Pantheon times through history. 455 doesn't seem to fit in one of these 90 years, if you follow that strictly.

The short version is, as seen in the first scene of WicDiv which ends the 1920s pantheon at Dec 31st 2013 and we start our story about 6 months into the new Pantheon on January 1st 2014, the question of where the 90 years is measured for has to be (to some degree) flexible. Gods appear over a period of a year or so in our 2014, and die at their own rates. You can assume that the “true” length of a pantheon can wiggle a little – some would be less than a year, some could theoretically stretch across 4 calendar years. As such, it's hard to predict exactly on which year any given recurrence could occur – even from the data we have from 1831, 1923 and 2014, we know that.

I suspect before the end I may give hard dates for every Pantheon. I suspect, anyway. I know where it would appear.

Page 9-11

You know, I suspect Page 9 – for an action scene – is one of the most story-beat laden of the issue, in terms. Lots of great Andre stuff here – the casual-ness of both the burning and the brutal-ness of the kick. Matt goes to town on the colours too, the reds taking over. Obviously the fire is a key thing with Lucifer, and his flame grows and ebbs as we progress.

There's some difficult hard cuts here – page 10 to 11, for example. We just have the “Ananke leaving” beat there, then moving to Dio and Lucifer in bed.

There is a tendency when discussing the ancients to be a bit blasé in terms of writing about their sexual habits. This normally is based around us mapping our readings of sexuality onto the past, while erasing their own social mores. I've ran with some of the information on page 11 before, when doing THREE, specifically the politics of different sexual roles. Relevantly, the status elements Lucifer alludes to here – in terms of being a bottom is always dishonourable. I could ramble at this at length, but I'll spare you.

Lots and lots of stuff here, in terms of trying to set up thematic elements here, but let's just say none of it would matter at all if Matt and Andre hadn't nailed the last panel.

Page 12-13

Lots of historical bits and bobs here. Perhaps the implicit question we don't answer is “what happened to the last Emperor?” He was cut to pieces a few days before this and thrown in the river, because he'd pissed off the Vandals enough to have them invade.

You may notice how thin the senate is populated. That's because the majority of the population of Rome have fucked off to hide. Rome's population is artificially lower during this point in history, which is a thing which tries to lend a little credulity to the Ananke/Geiseric cover-up.

The main tweaks here was making sure the exact nature of Lucifer's slip was tricky. Someone getting mixed up in the time-line requires making sure the reader understands the timeline. I half wonder why I went with Crassus rather than Pompey.

Anyway, let's hope that Lucifer manages to keep on the straight and narrow.

Page 13-14

Well, that escalated quickly.

When planning the issue, you start doing maps of time and space, and I rapidly realised with 25 pages, and so many other essential scenes, there was no possible way to show a slow descent.

The story's structure immediately suggested itself.

While the Triumph was the image we needed to enter the world, this is the one that will be remembered. People reference my Crossed work here – which is true, to some degree, in that it was also about turning flesh into art. I suspect I was more thinking of Banks, and a certain beat involving a certain object of furniture. I say, dancing around spoilers.

The influence here which gets kind of buried is Domitian, who threw the most goth parties of all time. Have a nose at this here, in terms of Things Emperors Got Up To.

Page 15-16

We've already namechecked Caligula and here comes Nero, the other of the most famous Roman Bad Emperors. The elements about Nero here were the closest thing the research unveiled which made me want to reposition the story to a different period – Nero interacting with the gods would have been fascinating, for all the reasons described here.

We had a reader question the direction of Imperial Phase, in that the insanity-leading-to-murder trope that appeared to be coming and the inherent ableism in that. It was a usefully timed question, as it made me dig more sharply into the exact choices we were making in explaining the idea. This isn't about going mad. This is – as Dionysus puts it – about excess. I'm thinking of Bowie living off cocaine and peppers. We lean into it pretty heavily in this issue, and hopefully it delineates the aim.

Just looking at my script, and found the anecdote about the time I threw up a handful of blood slipped in there. I'd forgotten that this page was autobiographical. Comics, eh?

Look at what Matt's doing with the colours here – the whole panel is bloodshot as we progress.

Page 17-20

In terms of buried research in the comic, that a hole was knocked in the roof of the Temple of Jupiter during this sack of Rome is the one which makes me laugh. Behold! Let team WicDiv present the true story of how the temple of Jupiter got a dirty great hole in it.

(I also like that this makes the sack of Rome much more efficient for the Vandals.)

This is an actor making a soliloquy scene, perhaps obviously, recalling both the stage and the Passion. While this issue is heavily in the research, it's also doing ahistorical work. Shakespeare's fingerprints is all over this, to state another obvious thing.

The “Emerge like an Eagle” thing is very much Roman Pagan belief.

I mentioned Nero, Caligulia and Julius. The other Roman Emperor who is in the mix with Lucifer was Julian the Apostate who was the last Pagan Roman emperor, and tried to revive Pagan Rome before dying early. A “What if Julian had lived?” is a counter-factual history which is always a fun one to swill around your mouth. He's the one we don't reference, but much of Lucifer's thought comes from mashing Julian with someone of lower birth and more melodramatic tendencies.

This is the sequence which I cut the page from the Triumph earlier to expand. Clearly this could happen quicker, but we need to let the death sequence come out, in all its horror. Also, the collapse on the page turn seems essential.

I'm almost surprise Et Tu Jupiter reached the final page. We were always wondering whether it was too funny. In the end, it was decided it was, but in juxtaposition with the art, sufficiently bleakly to not break the mood. Especially before the collapse on the next page, which is very much human stripped by the divine.

Clearly this plot beat, is the biggest one for close followers of the book. I suspect at this point of the story, there would be strong suspicions that the “you die in two years” isn't true. Unless this sequence is deeply deceptive, it is true. You die in two years, by yourself. We place the specials pretty carefully, in terms of what they reveal, so this being half way through Imperial Phase underlines what could await our cast.

In terms of craft, going silent for a page after the monologuing seemed key. I mean, Ananke's fundamental disrespect in terms of how she's carrying Lucifer says everything.

Page 21-25

Out the gate towards the Tiber. The names listed are famous Romans whose bodies were thrown in the Tiber so that they could have no honourable end – and in the case of Marius, that there was no place for his followers to gather. The man who did that was Sulla, btw. Marius was dead, he dug them up.

The “Pagan burial, but a shit one” is very much Ananke at peak “I will tell you the truth, but you really have to pay attention to the details” mode.

And here's Geiseric! Looking good. The Vandals have been in Carthage for 20 years, but we decided to have him be kind of pallid so as not to confuse people. Stories like THREE were all about the pure-historical aspect and risked (and often did) lose people by doing things in line with the best research rather than common belief. WicDiv has a slightly different set of priorities, especially on secondary aspects like tanned Vandals.

Heh. Story starts with butchery of a goat, and ends with butchery of Lucifer. WicDiv is a very subtle comic.

Sulla's an interesting dude, and I think the use by Ananke here seems pretty fair. The future she's pointing towards never happens – the marriage is there. Germanic hands ended up ruling what came after the Empire, but that's not really what is going. Of course, Geiseric is also entirely right in recognising he's being manipulated.

They're a fun pair, actually, in terms of the fencing. I kind of realise this is the sort of conversation which is going to be key in Spangly New Thing, which makes me excited about writing it again.

I smile at the Vandal line. People have wondered why I didn't do the earlier sack, so I could have had the goths. Well, it didn't really work for the story, which is about the end of an era. But also it would have been perhaps too much. I did have a joke take, where Ananke is debating which Germanic tribe to manipulate into invading Rome. “The Goths again? No. No More Goths.”

But 455 isn't that kind of book.

The final image! Lovely, in its bleak and awful way.

Page 26

City of God being Augustine's book, written primarily in response to the crisis of faith in the Empire over the 410 sack of Rome by the aforementioned Goths.

Anyway – thanks for reading, and thanks for Andre for joining us on this beast. We're back (eek) tomorrow, with Imperial Phase II. Onwards, etc.

#WicDiv #the wicked and the divine #andre lima araujo #matt wilson #Writer Notes

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junker-town · 5 years ago

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Natasha Howard could be the most improbable MVP ever

Major injuries to Breanna Stewart and Sue Bird have given Howard a key role in Seattle, just two years after she was a mere backup scoring four points per game. She’s proving ready for a star’s role.

Welcome to The W Is It, a weekly column about all the stuff that freakin’ rules in the WNBA. Here’s last week’s debut column on Chelsea Gray. Have any tips of topics to cover? Find me @mellentuck on Twitter.

How deep is the talent pool in the WNBA? Consider that when one MVP went down with a torn Achilles, her teammate, two years removed from being a 12-minute-a-game reserve, has become a candidate herself.

Natasha Howard’s meteoric rise has been so rapid that she’s lifted the Seattle Storm out of the injury-plagued wasteland so determined to crush their back-to-back title hopes. With star Breanna Stewart and legend Sue Bird sidelined due to injury, Howard has become an absolute terror. She’s averaging 20 points per game in leading the remaining Storm roster, which has no business holding a record above .500, to a solid 5-4 start nearly one month into the season.

The offseason wasn’t kind to Seattle basketball. Like at all. A month before the WNBA season was set to begin, Howard watched as reigning league MVP Stewart, her Storm and Dynamo Kursk teammate, tore her Achilles in the EuroLeague Final Four. Five days later, Seattle’s head coach, Dan Hughes, announced he was diagnosed with cancer. Then, four days before the Storm were set to make their season debut, legendary point guard Sue Bird needed arthroscopic knee surgery, for which she’ll be out indefinitely.

The heartbreak was infinite and the Storm’s chances at a back-to-back title were barren.

But Howard, the 6’2 slashing, three-point shooting, shot-blocking, court-running and position-bending big, has instead developed her game to a level few thought she’d be able to sustain. Despite double- and triple-teams, she’s scoring over defenders in the paint, seeing the floor better than ever and continuing to serve as a defensive anchor.

Recap the top plays from Natasha Howard's double-double performance (31 PTS, 16 REB) @seattlestorm #WNBA #WatchMeWork pic.twitter.com/4bwLr2Hr2r

— WNBA (@WNBA) May 25, 2019

Her rise is even more remarkable considering the Storm poached her from the Minnesota Lynx for a mere second-round pick and a pick swap that never happened prior to the 2018 season. Stuck behind 2017 MVP Sylvia Fowles and Rebekkah Brunson, Howard didn’t have a clear path to earn playing time. It’s criminal, really. But it shows the surplus of talent a league with only 12 teams and 144 roster spots has.

“It’s something a lot of teams deal with,” Storm GM Alisha Valavanis told SB Nation. “There’s depth that given a starting opportunity on different teams, they may be able to break out.”

Through her game, Howard made her need for a bigger role clear. Anyone who’d seen Team USA’s 2016 Olympic team nearly lose in a scrimmage to the USA Select Team because of a Howard onslaught knew where her ceiling stood. The forward who averaged four points per game in the season prior broke out for 18 fourth-quarter points against the next-best players in the world. After hitting just one three-pointer in eight tries in her first three seasons, she hit three in that one night.

youtube

“I think that’s when everyone opened their eyes even more like ‘Wow Howard is really good,’” she told SB Nation. “They didn’t know I was that good because I hadn’t had the opportunity to show my talent [like that.]”

Now, finally, after four years of learning — and being overlooked just a bit — Howard has taken her chance to shine and is running with it. The Storm are out to an impressive start given the devastating injuries to its most coveted pieces, and that doesn’t happen without Howard’s quick bursts to the rim and much-improved range. She’s proving she can handle a larger plate.

This isn’t just the silver lining to crap offseason luck. The Storm, as they stand right now, are a damn threat because of her.

Here are a few other things to celebrate from Week 4 of the season.

Megan Gustafson is back in the W

Let’s GO! Gustafson, the NCAA National Player of the Year and leading scorer in all of college basketball last year at 28 points per game, was drafted by the Dallas Wings in the second round of April’s draft, but then cut before the season started. That’s how much damn talent is in this league. Anyway, the Wings re-signed her on June 13.

Though she didn’t see any action in the ensuing game, shouts to her dad, who drove 20 hours to see her suit up for the first time. Gustafson had to fly out to Texas the morning after she found out she’d been offered a contract, so he drove from Wisconsin to Iowa, where she lived, to take her car all the way down to Dallas. The day before Father’s Day too!

@GustafsonMeg10’s dad drove a combined 2⃣0⃣ hours this past weekend to see her play pic.twitter.com/fdZ6C6VgSd

— WNBA (@WNBA) June 16, 2019

Dan Hughes is coming back this week!

Specifically, Friday against the L.A. Sparks, GM Alisha Valavanis told SB Nation. “We are excited to have Coach Hughes back on the sideline.”

Hughes, the Storm’s head coach, was diagnosed with an undisclosed form of cancer in April, and he’s been progressing well. On June 6, he said his surgery had been successful and that he’d been at team practices watching interim head coach Gary Kloppenburg take the helm.

A quick health update from Coach Dan Hughes #WeRepSeattle pic.twitter.com/J2elAhS1rr

— Seattle Storm (@seattlestorm) June 6, 2019

Fever guard Erica McCall rapped on stage with Carrie Freaking Underwood

OMG! @EricaMcCall24 rapping to "The Champion" on stage with @CarrieUnderwood is the BEST thing you will ever see!!! #Fever20 #AllForLove pic.twitter.com/S2FENiPKAp

— Indiana Fever (@IndianaFever) June 17, 2019

Who needs Ludacris when you can get the GOAT of WNBA rap, Erica McCall. This was HYPE. I’m delighted to welcome out newest WNBA stan, Carrie.

Amanda Zahui B LIT UP the Sparks

In a win over L.A., the New York Liberty big scored a career-high 37 points in 36 minutes and made seven of the eight threes she took. She came into the season with only 38 made threes in four YEARS, yet she came out with flames on the second night of a back-to-back.

A walking bucket tonight ☔️ @AmandaZahuiB (37 PTS / 7 REB / 7 3PM) #WatchMeWork pic.twitter.com/2EAWcpsjiC

— WNBA (@WNBA) June 16, 2019

WNBA Stan(s) of the Week - LeBron James, Chris Paul and Russell Westbrook

The Las Vegas Aces really are the biggest bandwagon franchise in the league, huh. Please watch as Kelsey Plum daps everyone up.

KP with the Gucci Row crew @Kelseyplum10 (via @wnba) pic.twitter.com/KcyQQ1bHDy

— WSLAM (@wslam) June 15, 2019

I’m obsessed with this video for a number of reasons, not limited to the fact that RUSS is part of the banana boat squad now? How? When? Future Laker?

Anyway, this might not be the last we see of Aces Stan Bron. He said he wants to come back for Vegas’ playoff run.

Candace Parker is BACK

On Tuesday night at 10:30 p.m. ET, Candace Parker will make her 2019 season debut at home against the Washington Mystics. She suffered a hamstring injury in the team’s first preseason game, and her team was able to cling on to a 4-3 record in her absence.

Let’s GOOOOOO!

She’s back #GoSparks #LeadTheCharge #SparkTheTrueYou pic.twitter.com/LnZlv9h2Hw

— Los Angeles Sparks (@LA_Sparks) June 17, 2019

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haleyheadswest-blog · 7 years ago

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Mt. Rushmore, Crazy Horse, and Calamity Jane, Oh My!

Everyone knows Mt. Rushmore. Four giant heads carved into a mountain? Hard to miss (and it’s on every American history textbook cover across the country). However, its location in lovely South Dakota makes it a destination. You’ve really gotta wanna see those heads to make the trip (at least in my expert opinion).

That’s why, when my mom and I planned our trip, we agreed that seeing Mt. Rushmore was a must—partially for its infamy, partially because I don’t have major plans to return to South Dakota in the near future. Good reasons, I know.

Of course, before we saw the founding fathers, we had to go grab my darling father from the airport (though he couldn’t join us for the whole road trip, he didn’t want to miss out on the fun and bought a plane ticket two weeks prior to my departure date). Mom and I ended up arriving to the Rapid City Regional Airport a liiiiittle late because of an emergency (read: I found a dope coffee shop that served homemade poptarts and lattes with pretty foam art. It was only a little out of the way! I swear!). We also rearranged all of my belongings in the backseat and trunk of my car in order to fit another adult human in the vehicle. Let’s just say the backseat would be a claustrophobe’s nightmare.

ANYWAY. Here’s what you should do if you decide to venture out to this joyous western region:

Go to Bear Country. My mom and I actually did this before picking up my dad. Here’s what you do: drive through this fenced off area outside of Rapid City. See cute little wolves. See cute little bison. See cute little mountain goats. And OMG see cute little bears! And by cute and little, I mean slightly terrifying and massive. There’s also a zoo-like walking portion, where an entire pinned-off area of BABY BEARS are playing in the water, climbing trees, and frolicking about. Am I still scared of bears? Yes. Do I kind of want one as a pet? Also yes.

See Mt. Rushmore. Duh. Like I said before, it’s a legendary spot. The giant stone heads of dear ole George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt, and Abe Lincoln are accompanied by a great museum and a gift shop for miles. Bonus: you will also run into some of the most entertaining tourist outfits (I’m talking people wearing freshly purchased Mt. Rushmore t-shirts while taking a picture of themselves in front of Mt. Rushmore with a selfie stick. Amazing, I know).

See Crazy Horse. A lesser known giant mountain carving is just down the road, featuring the famous Native American “Crazy Horse.” This monument is still in the works—while Crazy Horse’s face is completed, the area where his horse and outstretched arm will be are still solid rock. My parents joked that I will be able to bring my grandkids to see the finished Crazy Horse monument one day. I guess I’ll be returning to South Dakota after all.

Drive along Needle Highway. Cool tall rocks, winding roads, and deep caverns? Enough said!

Reserve the Calamity Jane cabin at McDonald farm in Keystone, SD. You will feel like a character out of Little House on the Prairie—log walls, patchwork quilts, and no cell service! Just like old times!

After a rousing time doing all the aforementioned delights (and finding ample coffee and red wine along the way), the next stop is Cody, Wyoming. Unfortunately, this stop will be preceded by a seven hour drive through the absolute middle of NOWHERE. Strap in and don’t gauge your eyes out!

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inthebivy · 7 years ago

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Fear & Trembling in the Winds

Late July, 2016

I’d been scared all day, since Tommy and I started up the Wolf’s Head at dawn. My friend Zach had warned me that three groups of his friends climbed it and all said “Horrifying, terrible, don’t do it!” I already knew I didn’t like being on top of vertical cliffs, where there’s no escape. But here I was anyway. Here, halfway through the “Piton Pitch,” the most notorious 50 feet of the route. It was easy for a while, a ledge traverse with a crack nicely protected by old pitons, so plenty of places for my hands and feet - then I rounded a corner and suddenly the ledge and crack petered out into nothing, into a sea of holdless slab. 15 feet away I saw the end, a huge sandy ledge you could sleep on. But in between was nothing - just one old piton hammered into the middle of it, what seemed like a very far way away.

I started out towards that piton, and found nothing good to hold, or stand on. Shit. I retreated. There was another way, going up a hard-looking crack, also with a piton in it. Maybe I should go that way? I pulled out the “beta,” information on which way to go where, and confirmed that indeed, I should just head out the slab. Damn it.

I looked out, and down. The exposure was relentless. “Exposure” meaning cliffs falling away below you for hundreds and hundreds of feet. Still no good holds. But a storm was threatening, and there was no going back, or down, so I cast off into the void, the sea of nothing.

Wolf’s Head ridge looking steep from Pingora

How I got into this pickle

A couple months ago I wrote about my mountain mentor and great friend Ben. I wrote about how he took me up climbs that scared me so much I couldn’t move. And now I was back in what I knew was Ben’s favorite kind of climbing - ridge traverses - like Evolution, or Palisades, or Forbidden. This is a climb Ben would have loved. It’s a climb Ben would have taken me up, dragged me up, me paralyzed with fear, “gripped,” rattled, lost it, but still there.

Today I want to talk about that fear more.

Most climbers I know don’t have the same fear of heights that I do. Sure, everyone says they’re scared of heights. Even Will Gadd. But Ben would hop up on a tiny summit pinnacle. Greg does that too, and Ryan - “climbers” do that. They’re comfortable in thin air, like mountain goats. It’s not like that for me. Get me even 5 feet off the ground and I cling tight, I stay seated, I don’t want to stand up, I feel the vertigo, the “what if,” “what if I fall?” I like to hold on tight. I’ve bailed off beginner routes because I was scared - a 5.6 in Lander last spring, a 5.8 (with bolts!) just last week. So … why do I climb? I used to say “I’m retiring” after every climb. But then I go again. I’m probably the worst climber who’s been climbing for 10 years, because my fear resets my skills to 0 every season.

I’ve felt fear for a long time. Growing up, I was afraid of the dark. I would jump from my bed to the safety of the hallway to avoid being nabbed by the monsters under the bed, or on the floor. I wasn’t scared of heights, I don’t think - I spent much of my waking hours climbing trees in the yard, looking down at our roof. But as time went on, I gained that fear. The Fear, I called it. The paralyzing fear.

I’ve tried to work with the fear a few times. It’s a knot in the pit of your stomach. It’s a tight chest, or neck. It causes me to leave, to run away. In DC, in 2005, I tried “exposure therapy” to fear - I’d stay in dark rooms, or shut the door in the bathroom (with monsters hiding in the mirror). I re-read “Dune” and found the Litany:

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

I read Buddhist philosophy and practice about detaching from the illusions we think are our true self.

But I lost my nerve and stopped facing fears. When I hiked half the Appalachian Trail in 2008, I was scared of being alone, and never sat through to see what was on the other side of it. I clung to other people. And I grew ever more scared of heights.

Fear and the Diamond

Three mountains stand out as the peaks of my fear, all 2010 trips with Ben: downclimbing a 4th class slab onto the Little Bear - Blanca traverse (Ben had to talk me down); getting totally paralyzed, unable to move, on the East Ridge of Forbidden Peak (Ben had to break out the rope and throw me one end); and what has become the Ultimate Fear, the ultima thule of terror: getting three pitches up the Diamond on Longs Peak (also with Ben) and completely losing it; we bailed and he noted the cause as “Skye altitude sick” - a generous diagnosis. I may have been altitude sick, as I went from sea level to 13,500’ in a day. More to the point, I was completely psychologically shattered.

Little Bear to Blanca. Intense fear, and eventually came to terms with it.

Ben rapping down to the start of the Diamond, after my first rain-bivy, also at 13,500′. Note his smile.

Here’s me, petrified, on the side of Longs Peak just before we bailed. Note the terror in my eyes.

Into the Winds

The Winds have been on my list for 2 years, and were high on the list for this fall. I planned to go in September, after the legendary mosquitos died down, but an old ranger friend from Philmont, Tommy, hit me up on Facebook a month ago.

Hey Skye! Nice looking pictures, you defintitely have the beta for Wyoming. Im looking for a climbing last weekend of july to climb Pingora or something in the Cirque. Ive got a rope and half a rack. Seeing if youre interested

I was interested. I hadn’t seen Tommy in a decade, and I remembered him as a bit of a wildman, so I made sure we were on the same page about risk:

Me: Also as a general caveat, I am pretty darn cautious / conservative when it comes to risk, and have lost the "summit fever" I used to have... my priorities are 1. come back alive 2. come back friends 3. get to a summit. You down with that philosophy? Tommy: Absolutely, Ive definitely learned to swallow my pride when it comes to summits. No more of a humbling feeling than when mother nature decides whether or not you send. Here are my priorities, 1. get on the route. 2. get off the route safely 3. enjoy the climb 4. summit.

So it was on. A month went by, I got my gear together, and I headed south after work, through the Cliff Creek fire zone (props to the wildland firefighters out there!), met Tommy in the morning, and hiked in to Cirque Lake.

Hiking in, Pingora at right and Wolfs Head atop a cloud.

We climbed Pingora Peak’s South Buttress, the chillest sweetest sunniest rock, huge ledges and nice climbing and straightforward rappelling.

We looked at Wolf’s Head from the top and were both fully intimidated. We camped at the lake again, shooting star photos. Tommy dreaming of Wolf’s Head. We woke, and we headed up.

Wolf’s Head

I was scared from the first step onto the rock, up grassy ledges to the start of the route on the “Sidewalk.” Tommy was fine.

We got near the Sidewalk, and I felt inside: I should climb this. This is what Ben taught me to do - and I’m ready. I can do this. I told Tommy I was up for it, and he protested not.

I headed up the Sidewalk, 2 feet wide, unprotected, cliffs on both sides - and I wasn’t really there, mentally. I was moving tentatively, clinging. Halfway out I thought maybe I could get a piece of gear in, so I pulled out the “nuts” - metal chocks that fit in cracks to hold a fall - and, something I’ve never done before, I dropped half of them off the side of the mountain. Now I was trembling for real. This was a problem - a major portion of our safety gear, gone, and me shaking in the middle of an unprotected skinny slab.

Looking back down the Sidewalk

The nuts had landed on ledges below us, so I retreated back down the Sidewalk, downclimbed the ledges, retrieved the nuts, and got back up to the Sidewalk. Take 2. I breathed deep - this time, just go for it. And I just went for it. Feet, rubber soles smearing on sticky granite. Hands, holding the two edges, corners, solid holds. And I just moved. No funny business trying to put a nut in halfway - I just went. I crossed the Sidewalk, got to a solid spot, I put in solid gear, and I whooped with joy. I had done it. And my head was in the game. But The Fear was still there, underneath - fear of what was to come.

We climbed 4 pitches to get to the towers. The Towers. Four towers, each with its own “crux” or hard move. The “hard moves” were only 5.6 - easy, by any good climber’s standard - but still bone-chilling to do above hundreds of feet of thin air, when you have an almost-debilitating fear of heights like I do.

This whole time, I had The Fear. It was ever-present. And in turn, I worked on being present with the fear. On seeing the fear as something separate from me - so that I wasn’t consumed by the fear, but could hold it at arms-length, thank it for keeping me safe, and still not be paralyzed or ruled by it. “Ah, fear - that’s a feeling.” And keep moving.

Getting to the base of the first tower move was a scary and awkward down-crawl on loose rock without good protection, and we both got rattled. “Good gear, good rope, keep moving” became my mantra. I saw a rappel station and thought “maybe we should bail…” - better yet, maybe we should get the Canadians behind us with double 70 meter ropes to bail, and slide down their ropes back to our camp. But they weren’t bailing, and we kept moving.

Tommy did the boulder hug move in style, then got into a very tight awkward chimney and stopped, inside the slot, before the piton ledge. The Piton Pitch. He was around a corner and kept shouting back about how awkward it was. “Awkward is fine” I shouted back, “just make it safe.” He did. I followed, and popped out on the ledge. Tommy was not stoked, which is unusual with him, but he was hanging in there.

The ledge looked great, and I saw two pitons in the crack in the corner. Pitons are old-school climbing gear, metal hammered into cracks too small to take other gear. Solid. All’s well. I walked out, around the bend - and the ledge petered away into nothingness. There was another piton, out in the middle of a sea of slab. Slab meaning no cracks, nothing to really hold on to, grab, stick a hand or foot in securely. Just little holds. This is fine when you have bolts the whole way, and a short walk back to the car. But here, although safe, it still was terrifying.

I saw another route, a vertical crack, with a piton in it. It looked harder, and it wasn’t clear if it “went” all the way to the ledge. I looked back at the horizontal route. The ledge was only 15 feet away, huge, and inviting. I just had to get there across an infinity of slab, and one piton.

Tommy entering the Piton Pitch

I checked the beta again. Yep, definitely have to go out that slab. And so I went. Good handholds, one at a diagonal but it worked. Decent footholds. I headed down and right to the piton. I clipped it with a sling. And I headed out, into space, towards the ledge. There was another crack. I reached it. I let out a whoop and holler. I was home free. I placed a cam in the crack and headed to the ledge. I built an anchor, and told Tommy I was off belay. I was safe! I had made it through the hardest part! And I hadn’t really even looked down, down the hundreds and hundreds of feet to the ground.

This is just how climbers climb. It’s not anything special. But for me, with my fear of heights, it was downright magical. It was a breakthrough. The Fear was gone.

Waiting for Tommy to take down his anchor, I thought about Ben. I thought about Ben like I had thought about him on the Grand last summer, “my first big mountain alpine lead.” I thought he would have loved it, and I thought Ben I miss you fuck I miss you. I missed him, and I cried, and my eyes stung from the sweat and fear and sunscreen. Then I had Tommy on belay, and he was climbing.

Tommy followed to the ledge, unhappy on the slab too. Then he headed up around Tower 3… and right then, the sky opened up and the rock was instantly soaked with rain. Tommy continued, aiming for a cave at the base of Tower 4. He climbed quickly, then I followed. This was a hand crack traverse, over infinite space again, on a rope, and wow: heady.

Tower 4, the final crux. I wanted to hand it off to Tommy but instead just went for it. Did it. Climbed it, had fun with it! I stuck my foot in the crack, along with my 2 hands, in order to be solid to place a big cam in the crack. Now this is fun! The Fear was gone. I was just climbing.

We got through tower 4, then climbed 2 more pitches of easy, fun rock, and I ended up on the summit. The summit!

The clouds had vanished when Tommy was halfway through Tower 3, by the way, and stayed away for the rest of the day.

We headed down 6 rappels and a bunch of ledge-walking, some exposed, some mellow. I had a new rappel system down, taught me by my roommate Mike, for extra efficiency and safety. I felt efficient and safe on the rappels. I felt safe in the mountains.

We got back to camp, swam, ate, shared food with the Canadians who were right behind us all day, drank a beer and stayed up late taking star photos.

From camp, at night under stars and Milky Way, surrounded by mountains, and in the morning, sunrise advancing over the granite peaks, I bowed to the four directions:

Thank you, mountains Thank you, family Thank you, friends Thank you, Ben (and all who’ve gone before)

Life, death, what is this existence anyway??

This life, and the fact that it’s going to end for each of us, is a crazy thing to me. It doesn’t fit in with the day-to-day in our society, or the stories we tell, or what we take for meaning. Save money, buy a house, get promotions, buy a bigger house, buy a bigger TV, a bigger truck. All of that falls away during climbing.

Up on Wolf’s Head, a thousand feet off the deck, dark clouds all around and rain coming down, no escape other than keep going all the way over, for hours, with fear and trembling - that truth, that mortal truth, is very present. And the focus and presence, the “lead head” or “lead mind” that I have to get into in order to climb - that place of sheer utter presence, because you have to, of separating from The Fear, of sitting with it, not running away from it, for hours, on top of a 2 or 10 foot wide ridge, counting on your partner to stay with it too, to save your life by building a safe anchor and catching you if you fall - that specific mental focused place - that’s why I go climbing.

I headed up Wolf’s Head for Ben, because I knew he would have loved it, and would have taken me up it. I fought fear for hours, and found the presence and place that lies beyond fear. And by staying through it, I found something deeper, not for Ben or for anyone else, but for me.

Thanks to Tommy for being a great, fun, and safe partner (not in that order). Thanks to “the Canadians” - Rob & Jill - who were right behind us all day with a double-70m rope, giving me some extra security if we’d had to bail. And big props to Max and Ryan for free-soloing pretty much that whole route, in about an hour, early in the morning before we even got to the Sidewalk.

Postscript, June 2017

This is the Diamond. Two months before Wolf’s Head, I climbed a peak across the valley from the Diamond with Philmont friend Chris Sawyer. I’ve spent much of the year since re-learning the physics, mechanics, and safety systems of climbing. I bought a new harness, new rope, better shoes. And this year (almost a year since Wolf’s Head) I’ve climbed 50 pitches of “sport” climbing and am back in the game. I’m climbing as hard as I was at my peak in 2012, and getting better. This story about the Diamond may not be over yet...

#maintainthelight

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disneylandstonersguide · 8 years ago

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Took Too Much - Best Places To Chill Out When You’re Too Stoned

Disneyland tip: Don’t eat too much of that brownie or drink the whole bottle of that thc infused soda. Also, you don’t have to smoke that whole doob to your head because you’re going to “be there a while.” A little goes a long way, ding dong. But sometimes you just take too much. So here’s a list of places you can chill out and not be bothered by anyone when you get too zorched out on hippie grass.

Main Street Cinema - Main St. USA, Disneyland

Have you ever seen Steamboat Willie? It’s pretty sick. It’s about this mouse on a boat that plays a goat for a guitar. You have to see it. Luckily you can catch it all day, every day playing in this slightly dimmed room on the West side of Main Street. There are 6 cartoons playing at any given time and old timey music blasting. With all that stimuli, it’s easy to blend in without anyone noticing. And watching a cartoon is a good way to get out of your own head.

Snow White’s Grotto - Sleeping Beauty’s Castle, Disneyland

You know the history of this place, located on the Northwest side of the main hub. The statues were anonymously gifted to Walt, Snow White was the wrong size, legendary Imagineer John Hench did some forced perspective magic, blah blah blah blah. The reason I listed this place isn’t because of the cool history or the hauntingly peaceful vibe. It’s because this place is strangely empty most of the time.

Disneyland Railroad - All Around The Park, Disneyland

Nothing on Earth is as zen-like as finding a corner seat on the train and just chilling. I’ve smoked too much and ended up on this thing so many times. You can just keep going and going and going. Yay the dinosaur tunnel again! Don’t ask me how to ride the Lilly Belle car because they never let me do it :(

Mint Julip Bar - New Orleans Square, Disneyland

The “secret” (non-alcoholic) mint julip bar is located near the train station towards the back of New Orleans Square. I’m not recommending this place because the mint julips are good. In fact, I think they are gross and taste like drinking a cold glass of Scope mouthwash. However, there are plenty of chairs and tables to relax and people-watch while a Dixieland jazz band plays. Not too shabby!

Innoventions - Tomorrowland, Disneyland

Yes this place has overstayed it’s welcome. Yes, it’s a glorified trade show. They added some KIND OF OKAY things, like the Mos Eisley Cantina replica, but for the most part this building is a total drag. Innoventions is housed in the circular building in the Northwest part of Tomorrowland, next to Autopia. It was originally the home of The Carousel of Progress, then America Sings. It’s also the only building in the history of Disneyland that brutally murdered a woman. Now it’s just a 2 story place used for character meet and greets and product demos. The good side of this eyesore is that the building is HUGE and air conditioned, so it’s really easy to find a nice place to chill and not be noticed. Hey maybe you’ll get to meet Chewbacca too.

Lower Deck of the Hungry Bear Restaurant - Critter Country, Disneyland

Do you love sitting by a river? Do you love ducks? Do you love being away from crowds? Well do I have the place for you. Downstairs behind the Hungry Bear restaurant (try the fried green tomato sandwich) is one of the chillest places in the whole park. You can sit and watch ducks for hours.

Sonoma Terrace - across from Pacific Wharf, DCA

Disney has totally nailed the “Northern California wine bar for San Francisco snobs” theme with this adult-feeling restaurant and bar across from the Pacific Wharf section of Disney’s California Adventure. There’s lot’s of shade, seating and a great selection of beer, wine and cider. HOT TIP: There’s a secret outdoor bar upstairs if you want to be even MORE isolated from the crowds.

Radiator Springs Racers Path - Cars Land, DCA

They serve Racer 5 IPA in Cars Land. How genius is that? Could you imagine being the little brewery that makes Racer 5 and getting that call? Wow. Anyway if you need a good place to spend some time and daydream, you can’t find a better spot than right beside the Radiator Springs Racers and Flo’s V8 Cafe on the path to Pacific Wharf. It’s picturesque and gets surprisingly little foot traffic.

The Disney Animation Building - Hollywood Land, DCA

This place is a trip. I guess you can do things like a drawing class and talk to a giant turtle in here. I’ve only ever just kicked it in the main lobby. There are these HUGE screens with montages, songs from and stories from classic Disney films. All displayed in glorious Circle Vision 360. It’s a great place to pull up a seat against a wall and be stimulated. I asked my girlfriend if we could get married in there and she said no.

Grand Californian Lobby - Grand Californian, DCA

This place is a little slice of Twin Peaks inside The Disneyland Resort. There are a lot of couches in this rustic, log cabin themed hotel lobby. It’s absolutely gorgeous and the perfect place to get your balance right. There’s usually a piano player doing jazzy covers during the day, and a great hotel bar to grab a quick cocktail. I swear I’ve seen The Man From Another Place in here while sipping on a Manhattan.

Trader Sam’s Fireplace - Trader Sam’s, Disneyland Hotel

Down the stairs from the main entrance of Trader Sam’s is a little circle of outdoor furniture around a huge fireplace. I highly recommend getting a tiki drink to go (yes you can do that) and going down to the fireplace. You will most likely find other stoners that need to get away from the crowds alongside some parents that are about to lose it. This is the place where I tend to drunkenly bond with other people in a similarly dazed state.

What are your favorite chill out spots at the park? Let me know! [email protected]

#disneyland #disneyland tips #a stoners guide to disneyland #took too much #weed #420 #trader sam's #disney's california adventure #stoners #disney #travel tips #anaheim #innoventions

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ianrosenberger · 8 years ago

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Heather’s Game Changers Cast Ranking/Analysis

My Absolute Faves:

1. SANDRA

Okay I can’t even describe how excited I am that Sandra is on this season. She’s my favourite survivor player ever and is the EPITOME of a game changer. Sandra delivers the perfect combination of strategy and entertainment for me and the survivor franchise should consider itself blessed that she agreed to return. As for her chances of going far, everything in me is saying she’s bound to be a premerge boot, but it’s queen changa! In pearl islands and heroes vs villains she was still screaming premerge boot but clearly we know how that turned out. I’m rooting for her above everyone else which is redundant to say when she’s already #1 on the list but... had to let that fact be known again.

2. TONY

I think I would say Tony is my third favourite survivor contestant ever (behind mother sandra ofc and Kim Spradlin). He’s crackedt out of his mind and it’s pure entertainment gold. I’m never not fascinated by trying to figure out the logic behind what Tony is doing. I don’t see how it would be possible for him to get far again sadly, but whatever happens I’m sure he’ll go out in a blaze of glory. Apparently he’s already been jumping out of bushes and whatnot at the pregame ponderosa like . .. . crackedt legends only.

Love these casting choices:

3. CIRIE

Cirie really did THAT strategically in Panama and Micronesia. Unlike the other two legends I already talked about, I do see a good chance of Cirie going far in the game again. I haven’t watched Micronesia or Panama recently (and I lowkey forgot what panama was and typed casaya for the season name while making this post), so I don’t have a crisp memory of everything she did, but..basically I remember that I stanned it. The only thing I’m concerned with is her rivalry with Sandra or whatever their relationship could be called. I’m not gonna lie; when I heard that she said Sandra didn’t deserve to win either of her seasons, I was....disgusted. Tbh. That doesn’t take anything away from the fact that Cirie’s gameplay was everything but girl...don’t come for Sandra like that.

4. ANDREA

Andrea has really grown on me since she first played. I don’t think I had much of an opinion on her in redemption island because I really didn’t care for anybody in the cast at all dfsndjfndsj but in Caramoan I liked her! She gives me constant conspiratorial vibes which I need to really STAN a survivor contestant. I just think she needs to fix her social game a bit because strategically I do think Andrea has the capability to win. Other than that I just enjoy her presence on my TV. I don’t think she’ll be targeted for a while by anyone but dumbfucks like Caleb or Brad for the same reason sexually deprived men usually target her *eyes emoji* so..yeah I have high hopes for her!

5. MICHAELA

I don’t think I appreciated Michaela enough while MvG was on (also because I missed a ton of episodes for school and had to binge watch the season in chunks of like five eps at a time). But Michaela has the makings of a legend - she gives me the blend of entertainment and strategy that I referred to in describing Sandra. A different blend than Sandra of course, but Michaela is a unique character in my mind, and I think if she can get past the barrier of being an unknown variable to the rest of the cast, she could do really well. I’m excited to watch her on the season regardless.

6. HALI

MUVVA! The ONLY good thing that I remember about W*rlds Ap*rt excluding Carolyn. Honestly half the reason I love Hali as much as I do is because she’s hot and that’s just the tea. Her weird analogies in confessionals and unintentional comic relief at tribals are great and I’m looking forward to them, as well as her renewed motivation to actually be a strategic force in the season. In worlds apart she at least TRIED to do something strategically, so now I’m hoping she can maybe tune her social game up a bit in order to be able to implement some of her schemes.

7. MALCOLM

Yeah I absolutely am thirsty for Malcolm. Sure am. Is that why he’s this high on the list? Britney_spears_crying_yeah.gif . SNkjdsfhjdskh I’m only half serious about that. Based on the pregame ET Canada interviews, I think his ego either got bigger or he’s just more comfortable showing it now that he’s played twice and feels like there’s less to prove, so I could see him being more of a villain this season than an underdog like his first two seasons. He is strategically adept, and I don’t think there’s a chance he could become someone’s goat and get super uninteresting, so all in all I’m happy he’s coming back.

8. JT

Ohh JT. If I remember correctly, he was the first person to play a perfect game and I think that makes him a game changer. What bumped him up in my rankings was the fact that in his interviews, his passion for the game is burning up like Russell’s hat in the fire. JT is NOT here to play games this season. I liked him in both Tocantins and HvV; I think he gives a level headed and still insightful perspective into the game, and in spite of him giving Russell that idol, I do think JT is one of the smartest people on this cast in terms of not only being able to come up with good strategic moves but being able to implement them. I agree with what he said in his interviews that people will more remember his blunder in HvV and extreme loyalty to Stephen over him winning and probably be more inclined to work with him, so I think JT could definitely make it far and maybe win again.

Happy with these casting choices:

9. ZEKE

Something about Zeke’s personality I’m drawn to. I wasn’t a humongous Zeke stan in MvG (because I was rooting for David’s side I’m sorry Zeke), but as the game went on, he went from initially annoying me because he looked too old to be on the milennial tribe to being really endearing and pleasant to watch. Maybe it’s recency bias but seeing him and Michaela going into this season for some reason feels like two new players being cast into a season of allstars, and automatically makes me want to root for the two of them.

10. TROYZAN

Let me take a minute and fasten my wig on before saying this but um..I like Troyzan. dnsjkgfhjkhd if you want to block me after that I understand. He pissed me off in One World of course because he tried to act like he could compare to the legendary Kim Spradlin when he clearly could not, but now that Kim isn’t here I think he might be more tolerable. He’s an independent thinker which is the main quality that makes me like Troyzan. It’s a mess that the main thing he’s remembered for is screaming “this is my island” at a group of women who then steamrolled over his corpse, but it at least proved that he’s not only extra and will add some drama to the show, but he will pave his own way strategically.

11. AUBRY

No one can deny that Aubry was a strategic force in Kaoh Rong. That’s the main reason that I’m happy that she’s returning because I think she definitely earned it with her level of gameplay. For some reason there’s a disconnect for me with Aubry that I hope this season will patch up and I’ll be able to fully stan her. She doesn��t have that quality for me that I love in players like Sandra, Tony and Cirie, where they are not only amazing strategically but also have that entertainment factor. In summary, I have no qualms with this casting choice, but I’m going to have to wait until the season starts to know whether I’m going to root for her or not.

Lowkey not doing it for me:

12. SIERRA

I remember really liking Sierra in W*rlds Ap*rt until the moment she rejected Hali’s plan, then let herself get dragged behind the likes of D*n F*ley and W*ll S*ms. That was just sad. Her only moment of redemption was voting for Carolyn at FTC, but it was too little too late for me. I still really like Sierra as a person, but for me to sit here and start saying I think she’s a game changer in any way would be a complete load of shit. I don’t see why Carolyn wasn’t given her spot, but she wasn’t, so I hope Sierra can really prove herself this season as a strategic player, because at this point I wouldn’t give her that label.

13. CIERA

I’ve seen enough of Ciera. I understand why she’s a game changer, and as such I understand why she’s on the season, but I’m just tired of her. I think it’s because of her political views that I just haven’t been able to reconcile. I really liked her on Blood vs Water and she was pretty good during Cambodia, but every time I think about her I just start thinking about how she’s a Republican and I’m like okay................ . . . .. um.... I can’t. I’ll know that I’ll never root for Ciera over the top nine people on this list, but I don’t HATE her, so if she goes as hard as she did at the end of Blood vs. Water I think I’ll end up liking her more. I think my opinion is also based on the fact that I don’t see where her storyline could develop from here on the show. Anyways.. I like? Ciera? At least somewhat? So..I think she will at the least deliver some quality conspiracies on the show.

14. TAI

I like Tai but the only thing I remember about him is him loving a chicken and him being very wishy washy at the end of KR. I could see him going far again for sure, but not on his own strategic merit; I think he could easily become the goat of a stronger player ie at least 80% of this cast. I mean if that has to happen I hope it’s Sandra :)) but yeah...in general...I don’t think he was THAT popular to merit a spot on this season in spite of not really being that great of a player. I’m sure he’ll have some other cute moments with animals and nature and whatnot so I’m looking forward to those I guess?

15. OZZY

Ozzy is the lowest person on my rankings that I would consider to be a game changer. The reason why he’s this low in spite of that is because I think even though he has changed the game, the game hasn’t changed him. He’s played THREE TIMES before this and I still get the sense that he’s going to use the exact same strategy this season...yikes. In South Pacific, he was being more strategic I think..but that may just have been because he felt like the leader of his tribe, so the narrative of the season centred around his thoughts for the tribe and his influence on the tribe. Were his ideas actually strategically sound? Not really, even though I think it’s good that he recognized that physicality was his biggest asset so he took advantage of that (referring to him getting himself voted out to go win duels on redemption island). At least Ozzy has gained some self awareness over ten years? Maybe? I hope so for his sake.

Yikes:

16. JEFF

I’m sorry but how is he a game changer. I can’t fully speak to Jeff’s abilities because I still haven’t watched Australian Outback but based on his game in Cambodia, he was serving some hot mess teas. He did deliver some entertainment like him calling Abi out at the challenge (or getting called out by her I lowkey dont remember), so my best hope for him is that he delivers some more of those. I could see him aligning with Sandra, so if that happens he will almost definitely shoot up in my rankings. As of now though, I don’t have any expectations for him. He’s at least not loathsome and completely deluded.

17. DEBBIE

I’m over Debbie’s shtick. I feel like she’s going to get herself embarrassed by the players this season who are ACTUALLY strategic. I think the reason she’s on this season is supposed to be for entertainment value, and in a regular cast filled with slightly more boring people that’s fine, but this is game changers. Everyone here is entertaining in their own right and Debbie is just annoying to me. Honestly she’s only above Sarah because I feel like she won’t last long and therefore I’ll have to deal with seeing her less and get less annoyed. If she targets players that I don’t like, maybe I’ll starting warming up to her and she’ll rise in my rankings, but for now I’m not hype about her.

18. SARAH

Girl. Her dealing with the Kass situation that resulted in her voteout was one of the most embarrassingly bad displays of strategy - or LACK OF strategy rather - in a minute on Survivor. Sarah really doesn’t entertain me at all and my impression of her from Cagayan leads me to believe she will probably not be that strategically adept. I’m in disbelief that she was even cast, like...really??? CBS couldn’t find anyone either more strategic or more entertaining than Sarah? damn. The one moment I can remember liking her was in Morgan’s ponderosa video when they were putting on makeup together because ok that was cute but it had literally nothing to do with the game. I could see her going far which annoys me even more because I wouldn’t want her to stay in the game over anyone higher on this list, maybe just Debbie. I hope Sarah can get it together this season because I’m almost done with her and the season hasn’t even started.

Good riddance:

19. BRAD

Brad is totally a game changer! He invented getting his wig torn off by Candice Cody and Marissa Peterson!! KWEENT Bread <3 God I can’t believe he’s on this season. Based on the previews, they’re going to try to give him a redemption arc of some kind which I’m already over. The good part about him is that I can’t see him winning even if he gets to the final three, so as long as a smarter player that I like can get control over him, I can support him being on the season as a meat shield. If Brad does manage to at least fake some humility and become a better player, good for him I guess. I just know it’s highly unlikely I’m going to end up rooting for him unless he targets the very last person on this list.

20. CALEB

Bye. Bye. Literally bye. Whose dick is Caleb sucking at CBS to not only get on survivor the first time after being a complete embarrassment on BB, but get to return?? ON A GAME CHANGERS SEASON?????? Mike Skupin got airlifted first and he did it in a literal blaze of glory so Caleb...hunty..please explain how you changed anything. His interviews are even more cringeworthy, with him saying dumb shit like “I’m just happy I can return so I can be a warrior for my tribe” GIRL......B Y E GO HOME!!!! Maybe he’ll become an actual game changer if he gets medevaced twice. That’s the only hope I have for his legacy.

#survivor #survivor game changers #gc #game changers #antyways all of THAT said and like two hours later im super excited for the season!#ill definitely be watching the premiere tomorrow

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charllieeldridge · 5 years ago

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10 Best Beaches in Bali: A Guide to Swimming, Surfing and Sunbathing

“Paradise” is a word that often gets tossed around when describing Bali, and for good reason. This famous island in Indonesia is known for its vibrant culture, stunning landscapes, and vast selection of beaches. In this guide, we’ll take a closer look at the best beaches in Bali.

While Bali may look small on the map, this unassuming island packs a lot in and it’s definitely one of the top places to visit in the country. In addition to its many excellent beaches, the island also has volcanoes, lakes, hot springs, forests, waterfalls, and more. With a few days here, you can take in a little bit of everything.

Bali is one of those places in Indonesia (and the world) that has a tendency to suck people in. I can speak from experience at the magnetic power this place has.

After visiting twice for a few weeks each time, I decided to apply for a program to live there for a year while learning the language and culture. It was one of the best decisions I ever made and I’ll always have a special place in my heart for Bali.

If you’re ready to start planning your own dream trip to the Island of the Gods, read on to find the right Bali beach (or five) for you!

Goats On The Road note to readers: regardless of whether a beach is supposed to be good for swimming in Bali, tidal changes, storms, and currents can arise, making the sea dangerous. For your safety, always seek local advice, check the flag status before jumping in the water, and be aware of changes in the tides.

1. Seminyak Beach

Good beach for swimming, boogie-boarding, or beginner/intermediate surfing

We’re kicking off our list of the best beaches in Bali with one of my personal favorites — Seminyak. Also known as Double Six, this is one of the most happening spots on the island.

There’s a lot to love about this trendy Bali beach town. There’s plenty of space here to just lay your towel down in the sand, and it’s not hard to find sun loungers and umbrellas if you want a bit more comfort.

Seminyak Beach has waves, but they’re not huge. This makes it a fine spot for swimming, boogie-boarding, or beginner-intermediate level surfing. There are plenty of places that rent surfboards and even a few surf schools if you need some guidance.

Another reason to love the Seminyak area is the abundance of great restaurants, accommodation options and beach clubs. Grab a colorful beanbag at the beachside La Plancha or head up to the Double 6 Rooftop for some incredible views. There’s nothing quite like a sunset cocktail and seafood dinner on Seminyak Beach.

If you’re planning to spend New Year’s Eve in Bali, Seminyak is an excellent choice. Your options here range from a NYE gala party at places like Cocoon Beach Club to just making your own party on the beach with a cheap bottle of rum and coconut. I went with the latter and we had an absolute blast watching the fireworks with a huge crowd of revelers.

This stretch of beach is located about a 30-minute drive from the airport, just north of the busier Kuta/Legian area. Click here for directions to Double Six, and Seminyak Beach is just north of there. Technically, Seminyak beach stretches all the way up to the super trendy Ku De Ta club. If you’re hoping to snap a photo enjoying a tropical cocktail in an infinity pool on a Bali beach, this is the place to go! Click here to get directions.

2. Uluwatu Beach (one of the best beaches in Bali for surfing)

Known for great surfing

Bali has long been a top destination for surfers thanks to places like Uluwatu Beach. Located at the far southern end of the island on the Bukit peninsula, this is a legendary surfing spot. It should be noted that while many know it as Uluwatu Beach, it’s technically called Suluban.

This area of Bukit is called Uluwatu in reference to the famous cliffside temple. Visiting Uluwatu Temple and seeing the kecak performance there at sunset is an absolute must in Bali — just watch out for those cheeky monkeys who love to snatch sunglasses and phones!

People come from all over the world to ride the waves at this surfing mecca. You’ll have to work hard for them, though! In order to access Uluwatu and many other beaches on the peninsula, you have to walk down a long and steep staircase. This is definitely not the best Bali beach for those with mobility issues or people traveling with young children.

For surfers, it’s definitely well worth the effort to get down to Uluwatu Beach. Seeing as how I can’t surf to save my life, I’m going to send you to this excellent and detailed post from Surf Indonesia about all the waves you can ride here.

Those who are not surfing should plan to visit Uluwatu Beach at low tide. It’s not exactly the best place for sunbathing, but it’s a beautiful spot to explore when the waves aren’t crashing. Be sure to check the tide chart before heading down here so you can time your visit accordingly.

There are quite a few restaurants and bars perched along the cliffside here. Take a seat and enjoy the views of surfers carving up waves down below, perhaps while sipping a cold Bintang or getting a massage. Single Fin is one of the top spots in Bali to watch the sunset, and it’s also one of the best parties on the island every Sunday night! Click here for directions to Uluwatu Beach.

3. Virgin Beach

One of the best beaches in Bali for swimming

This next one takes a while to reach, but it’s worth the effort. Pasir Putih is located on the northeast coast and is definitely one of the best beaches in Bali to visit.

Also known as the Virgin Beach, this gorgeous stretch of white sand is rare in this part of the island. Most of the beaches in East Bali are black, volcanic sand and aren’t exactly the best for lounging on.

There’s not a whole lot going on here, but that’s the beauty of the place. There are a few simple warung (local restaurants) on the beach that will let you use their chairs if you order something. These places may not look like much, but they cook up some amazing grilled fish and they are super friendly.

This part of the island doesn’t get waves, so this isn’t the place for boogie-boarding or surfing. It is, however, a great spot to do a bit of snorkeling. You can bring your own or rent one from one of the restaurants.

The closest town with tourist facilities to the Virgin Beach is Candidasa. From here it’s only about a 20-minute drive. If you’re travelling to Virgin Beach from towns in the south or Ubud, it will take a few hours. It’s worth it to make the trek, especially if you combine a stop here with a visit to one of the water palaces. Click here to get directions to this awesome Bali beach.

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4. Nusa Lembongan Beach

A good place for snorkelling, scuba diving, and surfing and swimming

For the next Bali beach on our list, we’re actually traveling off the main island. You see, there are three smaller islands just off the southwest coast that are still considered part of Bali!

These are known as the Nusa Islands (Lembongan, Ceningan, and Penida) and they are easily visited on a day trip. On Nusa Lembongan, you’ll find quite a few beaches to choose from. The main beach is Jungutbatu, which is where you’ll find a wide range of accommodation, restaurants, and bars.

Actually, the Nusa Islands are known for excellent snorkeling, diving, and surfing. You can actually base yourself in Candidasa and go on dive excursions from there. Check out our article here to learn about diving around the Nusa Islands from Candidasa.

Nusa Lembongan is home to several dive shops and surfing schools to get you set up. The surf breaks here are better suited for more experienced riders, as they all break over coral reefs.

There are many other beautiful beaches worth exploring on Lembongan. With a rented scooter, you can easily visit Mushroom Beach, Sandy Bay, Dream Beach, Coconut Beach (which is one of the best beaches in Bali for families), and more. There’s enough to see and do here to warrant spending a few nights on the island, and it’s far more enjoyable once all the day-trippers have left anyways!

5. Canggu Beach

A good beach for surfing, watching sunset and having a drink

Another Bali beach that’s wildly popular with surfers is Canggu. It’s located north of Seminyak and is also easily reached from the airport. This area has been developing rapidly over the past few years and Canggu is now a hot spot for digital nomads and yogis.

Canggu is actually home to a few different beaches. From south to north, there’s Berawa, Neyelan, Batu Bolong, Echo Beach, and finally Pererenan. Each beach has its own unique vibe and offers different things.

The beaches here have dark grey or black sand and these aren’t the best beaches in Bali for swimming, as the waves can be really rough. As such, you’ll find the Canggu beaches far less crowded than the ones further south.

Berawa has a few restaurants and bars, and you can also rent boards and loungers here for a reasonable price. This is a great beach to go to if you just want to enjoy some surfing or boogie-boarding without the crowds and touts.

When you look up “Canggu Beach” on Google Maps, it takes you to Batu Bolong. There’s a lot more action here, thanks in large part to Old Man’s. This is one of the coolest bars in all of Bali and the perfect place to party after a big day out on the water.

Just to be clear, you don’t have to be a surfer to enjoy Canggu. I can’t stand on a surfboard to save my life and I always have a good time hitting Canggu Beach. It’s especially fun to visit around sunset to watch the surfers riding their last waves as the sun dips behind the horizon. A day at the beach followed by dinner and drinks in Canggu is a great addition to any Bali itinerary.

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Take a video tour of Canggu in our “Streets, Beats & Eats” show.

6. Bingin Beach

Next on our list of the best beaches in Bali is Bingin. This is another beach located below the towering cliffs of the Bukit peninsula. Once again, you’ll need to put forth a decent amount of effort to reach this stunning Bali beach!

Bingin truly is a hidden gem, in that it’s honestly a bit hard to find. You zig-zag your way down a maze of narrow alleyways passing several different guesthouses and warung before you finally find the motorbike parking area. Cars can’t make it back here, so you’re either on two wheels or on foot.

Eventually, you finally reach the winding staircase that takes you down to the beach. The fact that it’s so hard to reach turns off a lot of people, which is great for those looking to experience a Bali beach without hordes of hard-partying tourists.

Even though it’s tiny and tough to get to, Bingin is still home to quite a few guesthouses, restaurants, and surf shops. They definitely cater to surfers, as the challenging waves here are what spurred the development of a tourism industry in the first place. For more advanced surfers looking for a more traditional option for a Bali beach, Bingin is an excellent choice.

So is it worth the effort to reach Bingin if you’re not a surfer? Absolutely! When you come here at low tide it’s really beautiful to walk around and take photos. Be sure to stick around for the postcard-worthy sunset. Then sit down for some grilled seafood and a drink with your toes in the sand before making your way back up. Or just go ahead and stay here! This is definitely a cool home base to have for a few nights in Bali. Find Bingin on the map here.

7. Sanur Beach

Good beach for swimming, relaxing, walking

This next Bali beach holds a special place in my heart. Sanur is a sleepy fishing town on the southeast coast of Bali and it’s where I lived for most of my year on the island.

Despite having a very substantial tourism scene, Sanur remains at its heart a traditional Balinese village. Traffic comes to a standstill here quite often when processions go through the streets, and there’s a massive performance and parade for the Balinese New Year.

Every summer, the town hosts a traditional kite festival. If it is “real Bali” that you seek (whatever that means), Sanur is a great choice.

While many decry Sanur as being too boring – its nickname is actually “Snore” – I find that to be far from the truth. Sure, there are no gnarly waves or rowdy beach clubs here, but that’s precisely why I and many others love it.

The beaches here are nice, the water is calm, and there are several places with sun loungers and umbrellas available. There’s a long path along the beach that makes for the perfect place to go for a leisurely stroll in the morning or evening. It’s one of the few places in Bali where you can enjoy a walk without fear of being run over by a motorbike.

While surfing isn’t really possible over here, you can still go jet-skiing, SUPing, snorkeling, or diving from Sanur beach. There are also a few excellent yoga studios on the beachfront.

One of the best ways to experience Sanur is on a bike tour. The folks at Sanur Cycle Tours are good friends of mine and they run some amazing bike trips around the area. I took quite a few and my personal favorite was their Jurassic Park tour that visits an abandoned amusement park.

There are actually a few different beaches in town. Sanur Beach is the most central (click here for directions), and other beaches in the area include Sindhu, Karang, and Mertasari. There are tons of options for places to stay, shop, eat, and drink here, making Sanur a very convenient base.

8. Jimbaran Beach

A good beach for swimming and dining

This next Bali beach is definitely the easiest one to reach from the airport. In fact, Jimbaran Beach starts just south of the runway. You can be chilling on the beach with a cold one in hand in no time!

This beach is part of the narrow isthmus that connects the mainland to the Bukit peninsula. As such, it’s a very convenient place to base yourself for exploration of South Bali. With a scooter, you can be in either Kuta or Nusa Dua in under half an hour.

Most of the access points for the various beaches in Bukit can be reached in under an hour, but you still get the amenities of the mainland. There are plenty of options in Jimbaran for accommodation, dining, shopping, and nightlife.

Jimbaran Beach is a pretty mellow place in terms of both the ocean and the vibes. There aren’t big waves here at all, so this definitely isn’t high on the radar of surfers. If you’re a total beginner, though, this is a good place to try it out. Most people are content with just lounging on the beach here, so it’s one of the more laid back places on this list.

The highlight of Jimbaran is definitely the nightly seafood market here. There are several excellent restaurants right on the beach, where you can take your pick from a variety of fresh seafood and have it cooked up to your liking. Wandering bands stroll the beach and take requests, making this one of the best beaches in Bali for a romantic dinner.

9. Lovina Beach

If you really want to escape the crowds, one of the best beaches in Bali to visit is Lovina. It’s located on the far north coast of the island, which feels worlds apart from the chaos of the south.

The name Lovina actually refers to a stretch of seven different villages along the northern coast of Bali. Beaches here are generally black sand and the water is very calm — this isn’t the Bali beach for you if you’re chasing waves. There is, however, some quality snorkeling and diving on tap up here.

Lovina’s biggest claim to fame is the dolphins that inhabit the waters around town. There’s even a statue of the aquatic mammals on the main beach. Basically everyone in Lovina can set you up on an early morning tour in search of dolphins.

From the airport, it’s about a 2.5-3-hour drive to reach Lovina Beach. If you end up renting a scooter/car or just hiring a driver, it’s worth it to add stops at the Jatiluwih rice terraces, Ulun Danu Beratan temple, and maybe even the Aling-Aling waterfall on your way.

Since it’s such a long trip, I don’t really recommend coming all the way here just for the afternoon. Lovina Beach is actually a great place to spend a few nights. There are plenty of options for accommodation here and the prices are very reasonable. Plus, it’s nice to experience a more authentic Bali beach town that’s devoid of McDonald’s and Starbucks.

If you end up staying a few nights in Lovina, I highly recommend taking the short trip inland one afternoon to go to the Banjar hot springs. These pools full of natural hot spring water are a great place to relax for a couple of hours. It’s just a 20-30 minute drive from Lovina to get there. Find Lovina on the map here.

10. Nusa Dua Beach

One of the best beaches in Bali for swimming

Last but not least is Bali’s most luxurious beach, Nusa Dua. Located down on the northeast corner of the Bukit peninsula this area is known for its swanky resorts, upmarket shopping, and world-class golf course. In short, this is where the fabulous people stay!

Nusa Dua is very much a tourist enclave, as it’s actually a gated zone where you have to pass through security. While it may seem very exclusive, most of the beach is still public here. Even if you’re not staying at a 5-star hotel, it’s well worth it to visit Nusa Dua for an afternoon. This is one of the nicest beaches in Bali.

The beach in Nusa Dua is white sand and the water is great for swimming. If your idea of a perfect day at the beach involves a sun lounger, a few adult beverages, and a good book, this is the Bali beach for you.

There are a few things to do here. One of the highlights of visiting Nusa Dua is seeing the famous Waterblow. This is a point on the coast where waves crash into a rock formation in dramatic fashion. It’s also a very popular spot for photo ops, so you have to pay a small entrance fee to access the path.

Just because you’re at the beach doesn’t mean you can’t get a little culture. Nusa Dua is also home to a very underappreciated museum. The Pasifika Museum is a fantastic art museum that’s well worth getting out of the sun for a couple of hours to see. You can find Nusa Dua on the map here.

Ready for the Best Beaches in Bali?

As you can see, Bali is home to several fantastic beaches, each unique in their own way. Before we end this guide to the top beaches in Bali, I should take a moment to mention why one didn’t make the cut.

Noticeably missing from my list is Kuta Beach, which is the main tourist hub in Bali. This is far and away the most popular, crowded, and developed beach on the island.

It transformed from a tiny fishing town to a booming tourist destination in under 30 years, and the negative effects of this breakneck development are all too clear. As such, I can’t in good conscience recommend visiting Kuta Beach.

First of all, Kuta is plagued by traffic jams, scam artists, and petty crooks. The beach is overcrowded and not that nice, and the touts here are incessant. You are much better off spending your precious vacation days at any of the other Bali beaches on this list. Trust me.

The many other small beach towns on the island can use your support as well, and it’s much easier to directly support locals once you get out of the Kuta bubble.

My best advice is to rent a scooter or a car, or just hire the amazing local drivers and do a loop of the island to visit as many of the amazing beaches as you can!

Have you been beach hopping in Bali? Which beach was your favorite? Leave a comment below and let us know!

Note: Images in this article are courtesy of Shutterstock.com.

The post 10 Best Beaches in Bali: A Guide to Swimming, Surfing and Sunbathing appeared first on Goats On The Road.

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survivekohsai · 7 years ago

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Jury Answers:

BRYCE:

My favourite moment in the game was when I got the opportunity to mutiny. I was in a bad spot on my tribe with the majority of people on it wanting to target me and because of my losing streak I was in a really bad place. - I had to go to every pre-merge tribal other than the one I was exiled for and then the round after I mutinied (not to mention one of the tribals I didn’t go to wasn’t a tribal at all due to kelsey striking out) which proved to me I made the right decision. It also reconnected me with my closest allies, Jackson, Akito and Trixie. Up until the mutiny I was feeling really defeated and getting the opportunity to do that breathed new life into me in this game.

As for which tribal I felt I had the most control of, this is difficult, because Mo’s and Akito’s blindsides were the only tribals I went to where I felt I didn’t have control. A lot of tribals were orchastrated by me and Jackson so I don’t know if there was a time where we were on the same tribe and one of us would have had more control than the other on a vote. I do think however that Jackson is only here right now because of me and how loyal I ended up playing with him. There were multiple opportunities where I could have flipped on him or made moves against him. I could have forced rocks the night Richie left which, no matter what, would have left us with a very different final 3. RYAN M:

I don’t really understand what your question is, but let me explain myself to you in this game. I was actually excited at first that maybe this time we would have a chance to work together, but for some reason there was just an underlining distrust between us. Still recovering from your idols in crayola I felt that the smartest thing was to not be completely honest with you incase you did have something you could pull out your ass like tyler did in the Mo blindside. You then decided you wanted to block everybody on our tribe, so I literally couldn’t pm you anyway and to be honest I don’t know if you ever unblocked me? I also know that you wrote my name down at tribals, so there was no point in trying to reconcile with you even if I could at that point. If you want to base your vote on relationships from ebola or who we voted at the end then thats on you, you’re a juror I’m not going to sit here and tell you what basis to make your decision on and as pathetic as I personally think that would be it is entirely up to you. RYAN P:

Akito- Skitty, because skitty is one of the cutest pokemon and one of my favourites, "it is very popular due to its adorable looks and behavior." Ryan M- Seviper, because there is just something about this pokemon that reminds me of you, can’t quite put my finger on it though, "It has been bitter enemies with Zangoose for many generations.” - i must be a zangoose huh.

Ryan P- Unown, because we like barely ever talked or got to know each other so I know virtually nothing about you other than what others have told me, "Unown is an extremely rare Pokémon that lives in its own dimension and rarely ventures outside."

Linus- Magikarp, it’s just the fucking memeiest pokemon there is. <3 “It is usually overlooked by Trainers because of its perceived weakness: even in the heat of battle it will do nothing but flop around."

Richie- Charizard, because you’re strong and loyal and I’m sure would be a fan favourite, "This Pokémon flies in search of powerful opponents to battle, and its fire will burn hotter as it gains experience."

Bryce- Pikachu, because you’re widely loved and a great companion, “Pikachu is arguably the most recognizable and adored Pokemon by fans of the series"

Eric- Houndor, because he’s small and cute but still has a lot of bite, "Houndour is an intelligent Pokémon that forms packs to hunt for prey, and shows unparalleled teamwork” RICHIE:

Yes my opening statement sucked, I was blackout drunk at a halloween party and had to find time to write it lol. The reason I let Jackson be the one that everyone saw being in charge was because I wanted to play this game completely different than I’ve played before. I usually play openly making big moves and letting my self be a target, that strategy in the past has only gotten me to the end one time where I lost 7-2 because that was the way I played the game opposed to who I was sitting next to at the time who played a more seemingly under the radar game. With that loss fresh on my mind I knew that in the end phase of this game I wanted to appear like I wasn’t making waves and to let someone be more vocal than me, the best thing I could do was to appear as a goat and let Jackson believe that he’d have an easy time beating me in the end, because I wouldn't hold my ground and express that I actually played a good game. I feel like he bought that and I think I was able to convince everyone that I was just playing for second when thats not the case at all. In the Rocks situation I did contemplate flipping and risking getting rocked out to change the game, but what really was the deciding factor for me wasn’t actually the risk of me going home, it was the fact that I knew 100% Trixie and Jackson were going to take me to the end of this game, although I was still confident in the bonds I had made with you and Bryce these were two people I knew I could trust and potentially beat at the end. If I did take you out in that vote I was taking out arguably the biggest threat in the game, because I knew you had a great shot at winning, I knew that if I was on jury I’d vote you to win so everything lined up and made sense to take you out. This game I focused a lot of gameplay around the social aspect of the game, I met a lot of great people and made great friendships, there was only one real pre-merge tribal council that I didn’t have to go to and I was able to get out of that one because I used the twist of being able to mutiny to my advantage. I survived more tribal councils than the people I’m up against tonight, I feel like I fought the hardest to be here out of us three, of course not competition wise, because I knew I was terrible at comps so I had to make up for that in another way and I do think that I was able to play a killer social game that got me to the end without ever needing to rely on an individual immunity. AKITO:

Out of the 3 of us sitting here I don’t think it would be fair for any of us to take full credit for a move that went down during a tribal council, because that’s just not how they worked this season. Due to the amount of idols in question and strategizing that had to go into these votes they all had to be a group effort. Any one of us could sit here and spout off about how, for example, the Rafael blindside was our move, but it would be BS. Each tribal we all held the same level of control of what was going to happen and we discussed and talked thru each move before it was made. There were only two tribals where I was genuinely shocked at the outcomes and those were Mo’s blindside and your blindside, in a strategical sense the 3 of us played nearly identical games, but as I said before I believe my social game is what made me stand out from the competition.

For your second question, I feel like it could definitely apply to multiple people on the jury for me. Firstly I’d say Ryan M, because in the last game we played together we were always working against each other even though he seemed like somebody that I would have actually been able to click with, unfortunately feelings from our last game carried over and we still never got to connect, especially after the whole blocking incident. RTP is someone that I heard good things about before coming into this game, and I feel like we also never got a chance to connect so he is someone I would have liked to get to know more. I feel like everyone else on jury I had built good relationships with, I would say too though, that if I had Bryce and Richie on the same tribe with me from the jump I feel like I wouldn’t have been as down in the first few rounds of the game as I was and, on a personal-nongame related level, it would have been nice to spend more time with them as well. So overall if I have to just pick one I would say Ryan M, because I really wish we could have squashed any beef we had had prior to this game. LINUS:

1. Social butterfly!! Never met anyone with such a stellar social game, you left me quaking! Competitions? King! You carried our tribes, honestly idk how you got out, it had to have been a rig. Strategy? you were the master of flipping! you full on murdered akito at tribal! Ruthless, cutthroat, iconic, unstoppable, legendary! also.. "Now listen here, thot! Why would I want your smelly vagina when my best bud’s anus (no homo) is right around the corner for fresh tasting and sampling!” that earned you the win day one.

1. Akito - Mari Takahashi, because she was adorable, had good potential and deserved way better than the placement she got. 2. Ryan M - Russell Hantz, because you’re good at finding idols and feel like based on you blocking everyone your social game wasn’t that great. 3. RTP - Michelle Dougan, because although I didn’t get to develop a close relationship with you, you were always a nice person and I know you like Australian survivor and I loved Michelle and feel like you both were sorta underdogs in a similar way. 4. Linus - Courtney Yates, because she was super funny and I feel that like her you were some well needed comic relief on the season 5. Richie - Nicole Franzel Kelley Wentworth, because she was an absolute queen. I definitely see her as a hero, and think that you would be the number one hero of Koh Sai 6. Bryce - Cirie Fields, because she is just such a great person, and an absolute fan favourite! 7. Eric - Abi Maria Gomes, annoying goat that makes it far, but still very entertaining and memorable.

Because it is almost halloween I wanted to do a horror genre theme with your fictional characters, so I decided to compare you to the cast from one of my favourite shows, Scream Queens!

1. Akito - Grace Gardner: Brave, intelligent, kind. 2. Ryan M- Chanel Oberlin: Stubborn, rude, funny. 3. RTP - Chanel #5: Often forgotten, low-key hilarious, underrated. 4. Linus - Hester Ulrich: Crazy, high-key hilarious, charismatic. 5. Richie - Zayday Williams: Iconic, caring, a great friend. 6. Bryce - Chanel #3: Good sense of humour, fan favourite, a true legend. 7. Eric - Chad Radwell: Energetic, obnoxious, lovable.

#quillynn #answers #final tribal council #worthplayingfor

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