#anyway. I digress
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the crazy thing about how people talk about polyamory on this site is one of two things happens: 1. People shit on polyamory & those who practice it. OR 2. People talk about wanting polyamory or not wanting it respectfully but are fueled by an inherent misunderstanding of what polyamory is. Frustrates the hell out of me but what are you going to do, y'know? People are so stuck on this idea of triads being the polyamorous norm and I honestly think no one cares to learn otherwise. Triads can work, but man. They are not the norm nor a realistic goal; especially when you're going "well I would want to date with my partner so it feels balanced"- okay, so what if the new partner wants to break up with you but stay with your partner. Would you force them to break up so it "feels balanced" again? Idk. Some people on this site treat polyamory like it's the avoid jealousy at all costs game instead of a relationship structure that takes work & is, quite frankly, not easy. If you can't manage your jealousy enough that you NEED to date as a unit with your partner then like... why are you even practicing polyamory? You don't want polyamory, you want polyamory without any of the icky feelings that come with it (which won't work anyway, because those feelings will STILL come up). Also polyamory isn't free from jealousy idk where some of you got that idea. On that note, experiencing jealousy also doesn't mean failing polyamory. HOWEVER: If you cannot learn to emotionally regulate yourself, you will not do well in polyamory. You need to be able to deal with your jealousy on your own. You can find comfort in your partners, but you can't expect them to cater to your jealousy.
#medusa rambles#some of you need to learn about unicorn hunting because. jesus christ#anyway jealousy being a major thing in polyamory (because so many polyamorous people were taught monogamous values & beliefs growing up)#is exactly why so many polyam people see therapists who specialize in polyamory#because its not easy to unlearn all that! and its certainly not easy to learn how to self regulate#anyway. i digress#i just wanted to ramble about this because its really bewildering to me#polyamory#im playing with fire tagging that but. whatever fuck it we ball
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I realized recently (read: today as I'm writing this) that while I associate certain specific fiber arts with Athena (knitting, weaving, dying, and spinning), I associate crochet specifically with Apollo, though Athena's there too, of course. I think it's because it's more free-flowing: I can freehand something with crochet more easily than I can with knitting, both because I've known it longer and because there are fewer Things To Learn, unlike knitting which has a million different techniques that may seem interchangeable but actually aren't and that all affect the end product in a pretty big way (looking at you decreases & bind-offs). Because I can free-hand crochet more easily, and I grew with it the same way I did with drawing, they have similar vibes. Knitting and weaving, on the other hand, have steeper learning curves imo and are way more structured- and I associate more solid (dare I say rigid) structure with Athena. Embroidery and cross-stitch are kinda in their own floating category, maybe because I do them less and therefore have weaker associations with them over-all. I associate hand-sewing largely with Hestia, though again, Athena is always also there, because I associate it with mending, altering clothing, and making home items (ex the quilted pillowcase I've been mentally turning around in my head for the last few weeks).
Interestingly, I find printmaking specifically to be associated with both Athena and Apollo. It leans into the latter's domain, of course, the same way crochet does Athena's, but the structure you need in order to layer & print properly without hurting yourself, ruining equipment, or fucking up you edition seems reminiscent of Athena. Dyeing, especially making & using natural dyes, feels very much like an Athena thing despite it 1) feeling similar to painting or using inks and 2) being a trial & error process that's honestly pretty free-flowing if you approach it a certain way (especially if you do solar dyeing, which doesn't necessarily need some of the more meticulous processes you need to boil-dye something).
#brought to you by 'reminiscing about an art history project' & 'knitting a veiling cloth' & 'sick & bored'#i really should take advantage of the heat and do some solar dyeing#we have glass jars & a front and back porch#hell i could probably use our kitchen window#it's so fucking hot guys. i hate it here. born for the cold forced to live in a fucking oven#it's not even the hottest area of the country#anyway. i dyed wool yarn & weaved it into a test swatch for my final project for an art history class about pompeii#we were supposed to take a concept we didnt expand on in class & explore it & i decided to look at how the middle class (who would have worn#colors you get from dyeing but couldnt upkeep vivid ones like the upper class did so they faded)#may have dyed their clothes/yarn despite most people not having access to their own hearths to boil-dye things#since glass existed by then#i even got special permission to harvest from the university's overgrown (& at that time closed) dye garden so i got to work w/ red madder#anyway. i digress#hellenic pagan#helpol#hellenic polytheism#hellenic polythiest#upg#unverified personal gnosis#athena#apollo#hestia#my post#coriander says#i wanted to work with pomegranate as a binder for the dye project since it's a geographically relevant plant but we couldn't find any ://
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Further assorted self portraits (3, 22 - 6, 3, 2024 - Clip Studio Paint)
#art#the pictures on my wall#personal pulse#there is a long-running joke about me having clones and I no longer remember how it began.#but it persists as a vehicle to illustrate the internal monologue#btw does anyone know if it's bad form to request a comm not be posted? I keep thinking about this because feels like it could be rude maybe#but I've got a lot of characters I'd love to see someone else draw which belong to a project I'm trying to keep on the down low.#until it's closer to fully baked at least. which will be...a while.#I guess it's probably a case by case thing but it's understandably not something many people specify in their terms by default.#anyway. I digress#these are not the last of the self portraits by any means. got more in drafts just trying to space things out you know
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the banter in s1 (2005) doctor who is actually so incredibly scripted and acted. like. most of the quips and running gags are so simple yet they’re so damn affective
#and like. I’ve probably raved about the comedic chemistry between david tennant and catherine tate#a million times. but I can’t just Not mention christopher eccleston and billie piper’s too becsuse man it’s so natural#it’s just delightful to watch. cant put it any other way#dw#kibumblabs#probably felt the most vacation-esque enjoyment I have in a long time just rewatching old dw episodes tonight#which is impressive because im off my meds and that generally makes me extremely sluggish and depressed#and I was most of the day. but managed to enjoy this#I’d like to thank internet archive because Jesus Christ it’s hard to watch it anywhere else#I really gotta just download all of it once I have a hard drive to do so on#cause I rewatch the first four seasons like. at least once or twice a year#same goes for torchwood s1 and 2 but I have s2 on dvd so we’re good there#anyway tldr I strive to write the kind of banter dialogue s1 dw has. wonderful. no notes#and yes im including rose calling him gay at one point i see people say that aged poorly sometimes but thats wrong. its hilarious#especially considering that this is RTD doctor who we’re talking about. like. you know. the gay writer known for writing gay media#that makes it so much funnier#anyway. I digress
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ok resuming my rewatch for atla daily except in french. notes for the first episodes:
at least these voice actors are expressive, unlike the ones from the dutch dub
I like the translation of a person from a nation being a “son of [element]” (ex. “fils de l’air” for aang)
every time aang says “momo” I think he says “maman”. this has led to some confusion
french ppl talk fast (which I knew but. still)
#I also think the way they pronounce aang is funny but I’m one to talk bc in the dutch dub they pronounce it ahng#which I mean I get bc if they pronounced it the english way it would sound like ‘eng’ which means. scary lmao#why didn’t they just pronounce the aa the way you normally would in dutch tho. why the short vowel#anyway. I digress#elli rambles#jupiter rewatches atla#<- time for the return of that tag
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🐭 It's the Midori pfp/j
You have literally obtained his aura and I read a lot of things you post in what I imagine his voice is but you're approachable tbh!!
NOOo.. thats literally what i thought about when i made my layout. i specifically was like "oh i wonder if i scare artists/people when they just see midori out of nowhere in their notifs"
anyway. good to know i am Becoming Him ,,, /j
#nishi answers <3#i feel so weird looking at the original image of him.#i put a low opacity layer of pink on him to match the flag so now when i see the og img him its like. why isnt he pink ...?#anyway. i digress
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if you followed my last blog, uh, yeah, idk why tumblr terminated me. ive been trying to message them since June to no replies (which, apparently, is not atypical). i assume it was unwarranted
but yeah, i got no posts rn (albeit i barely post to begin with) but yes, hello, i still exist, i did not block you or something, im still here
my instagram still has all my art i ever posted here over there: my insta is kaidenshenandoahknapp, i changed it to be the same as my url here. and it was available so thats nice at least lol
#will delete later#probably. idk. ill keep this here for a while. but yeah#me#also??? i cant get this blog to message first. idk why. i can get my new main (secret main. shh. no you cant have the @) to do it#BUT NOT THIS ONE??? the absurdity. tis unmatched#anyway. i digress
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I kind of don't like how a lot of people forget that despite all the angst and the drama around Dean and Cas they are fundamentaly best friends.
How many times did Dean say it throught the entire show? Bobby in season 6 saying "Well, you just lost the best friend you ever had."
For Bobby to say that, knowing Dean better than even Sam in some regards, how many times had Dean been sitting with Castiel on the couch in his living room?
Cas doesn't sleep, and rarely does Dean, with the Apocalypse looming right behind him.
So all they had left, in those quiet nights were each other. And they were okay with it, because they liked each other's company.
#your honor they are in love#destiel rant#destiel#castiel#cas and dean#dean winchester#spn#supernatural#deancas#castiel novak#dean and castiel's profound bond#they are besties#we could get into detail about how their entire relationship fundamentally changed the second cas took on the leviathans#how castiel believed he could ever become something he was happy with and destroyed himself and murdered most of the other angels#and lost all form of self reflection and actualization in order to hate himself#and yes he magically got better after taking on sams memories but he was never alright ever again#and dean tried to go along with it#refused to see that there was anything wrong#ugh anyway#i digress
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another one that I'm not super happy with, but continuing to mess with it isn't going to help! so here he is! 🦇 there was a lot I was trying to get across in this one, so uhhhhh hopefully it reads.
we're almost out of unique magics now...just Ace (and maybe Grim?) left!
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#unique magic posters#drawing lilia slightly more on-model than i usually do feels so wrong#i just want to draw the tallest spikes#lilia: (writing down his height) 5'6“...5'2” in a hat#(actually i'm pretty sure he would just write 'fun-size' but i digress)#anyway lilia. hey lilia. your magic is not cradle-specific so WHY is it called that#did it come in like 'so in like 500-ish years we're going to have a significant moment with a cradle. just trust me bro.'#'in the meantime enjoy having the weirdest magic name ever'#probably came in useful for raising kids though#don't put that in your mouth don't you know where it's BEEN#because i do#(long stare off into middle distance) i know where it's been
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It’s funny that Sumire is the one with the Cinderella persona and Akechi is the one with the prince outfit and yet the most Prince Charming-coded thing in the game is Joker holding onto a single glove, waiting for its owner to return after the magic that let them spend a brief time together was over. The glove is functionally the same as a glass slipper. So in conclusion detective prince? more like disney princess--
#no chance of the glove breaking either. much more portable and practical than a glass shoe#which is why Mr. Yearner over here can carry it around in his pocket wherever he goes forever (which totally isnt sad at all)#anyway i was thinking of how akechi has a lot of fairytale-esque motifs. or at least his detective prince persona does#robin hood and all that#complete with evil father that rules the country (like an evil fairytale king) and dead mother and his desire to be a hero#it's probably why shuake works so well in Royalty AUs but i digress#my post#persona 5#persona 5 royal#shuake#goro akechi#akira kurusu#p5r akechi#p5r akira#p5#p5r#sumire yoshizawa#royal trio
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just musing about how niko was one of edwin's biggest unconditional supporters and gentle guides in his self-discovery of his sexuality, and i think it's so interesting that we still never saw edwin confide in her overtly about his feelings for/attraction to charles, though he easily could have at any time.
before the cat king ever shapeshifts into monty or charles to tempt edwin to realization, niko's there to tell edwin that it's okay for two boys to like each other, to let him know it's okay if he noticed monty when they first met, or if he enjoyed the idea of monty liking him; and she plainly tells him that he's completely allowed to want explicit things with another boy.
they talk about edwin's feelings and desires multiple times - he admits to her he's never kissed anyone, and even that the idea of kissing has become appealing to him. she asks him, does he want to kiss monty? does he want to kiss the cat king? but she never asks him directly, does he want to kiss charles? charles is the elephant in the room of that conversation, so to speak; the only other boy they know, the one she knows edwin is actually closer with than anyone else.
but she doesn't ask edwin about charles.
i think it's actually one way niko shows her love and care for edwin, her perceptive understanding of his boundaries, and her respect for his comfort, that she never pushes him to open up to her about this most vulnerable and newly-developing aspect of his truth—that his feelings are for charles—who is already the most important person in his life, and thus so much more life-alteringly consequential to him. even though she hasn't known edwin a long time she seems to grasp that he needs both the push and the personal space to come to his deepest realizations, even as she opens the door for him to come to them.
(i did consider for a split-second that maybe she never realizes it's charles that edwin's in love with, but i vetoed that thought immediately because... edwin just seems too deeply unsubtle for that to ring true. monty can see he's been passed over for charles. the cat king knows it immediately and asks about their 'special friendship,' and not just because he can literally read edwin's desires. crystal is going through amnesia and an identity crisis, and she still clocks that edwin and charles are like a married couple. so it only makes sense that niko can see it as well.)
plus, niko's got excellent reading comprehension, by her own admission; and she and edwin bond over both being great, astute detectives—getting to the bottom of a case is a love they share. and so i just think it's neat that between niko and edwin, the conversation about charles seems to remain deliberately unspoken even when it could easily become overt.
instead she speaks to edwin about charles in metaphors. she starts their conversation about physical intimacy and romance specifically with drawing edwin's attention to the red and blue starfish. "isn't it romantic? they're in love." they proceed to talk about monty, and about the cat king, but i doubt either she or edwin could fail to notice the color symbolism there. and when edwin tries to get scientific about it, she reminds him, "luckily, love requires no logic." and finally she gives him the red sea glass, for courage. courage to help him come to terms with what—and whom—he really wants, whoever it could be.
and in the end... edwin tells niko, "i did actually tell the boy i like that i like him." this is directly after niko tells edwin she's sorry monty turned out to be an evil spy crow and she and edwin commiserate about how things with monty didn't work out for him. and obviously, it was never the cat king edwin really liked. so, just like that, through process of elimination, edwin can only be talking about charles. and even then, they never say his name. they never have to.
i just think there's something awfully soft about how edwin's feelings for charles are first so deeply ingrained and natural to him as to be something he had to be woken to rather than something that happened to him suddenly. then once he was awake to what he felt and wanted, there's something i find lovely about the deep bond niko has with him, that she understands and honors his need to speak around his feelings for charles while holding space for him to still share them with her in his way. something about how charles is so deeply loved that it is easily understood, that he is there in the conversation without his name ever needing to be spoken.
#dbda#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#edwin payne#niko sasaki#payneland#lest it need to be said - i think niko's friendship with edwin is so much greater than just her being part of his awakening#but that is for a different post because i wanted to talk about this specific aspect of their friendship#i love edwin and niko so muhuuuch#they truly are friend-soulmates in such a beautiful way#but anyway i digress
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Totally random but this shot always makes me crazy:
This one, too:
I've rewatched this damn show like 50 times or more at this point and still I find myself always watching Charles even if he isn't the "focus" of the scene because not only is he always lurking and observing but he's also REACTING. Like, full face reactions at all times.
Oh to be a fly on the the wall of Charles Rowland's mind...
#Charles Rowland please share your thoughts with the class bby#because you obviously have some thoughts lmao#I have thoughts but I don't have the energy to do a full analysis rn#but ya'll get what I'm trying to say right?#Something something Charles is so expressive with his actions but keeps his thoughts and feelings close -#to his chest#anyway it's funny that Edwin has the big confession because Charles is down bad imo but I digress#dead boy detectives#dbda#charles rowland#edwin payne#payneland#the dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives netflix#dead boy detective agency#renew dead boy detectives#dbda netflix#jayden revri
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At some point a gal has so many posts labeled “Harry Du Bois coded” saved on her phone that she starts to think she might be the problem
#disco elysium#harry du bois#I think trying to name urself “tequila sunset” is trans coded#t4t kimharry is kinda real when u think about it#but i digress#if Harry had a cell phone think of the possibilities#he would accidentally uninstall flappy bird and cry about it#anyways last post like this I promise 🙏#I just had so many images saved I wanted to share em
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stargazing
#mlp#art#mlp fim#my art#my little pony#digital art#character art#sunset shimmer#twilight sparkle#sunlight#sunlight mlp#twiset#mlp twiset#sunset sparkle#mlp fanart#fanart#the little aliens from twitter#yknow#the aliens#from twitter#those guys#i posted this on the wrong blog first 😭#losing my mind out here#anyways i digress#i love this ship and had to draw it as them#credit to lilalienz4ever on twitter
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lautski on the bus
#dont mind me posting another laustki thing :)#listen theyre just cute god#i have so many sappy sickenly cute ideas and theyre the perfect characters for it okay?#who knows how many of those ideas I'll ever get to.. at least i got this one pit#out*#i also just wanted to draw more of them after rewatching npmd haha#not sure i rlly captured their characters design wise but im happy with how it turned out anyways :)#I'll just have to draw pete and steph more so that i can capture them better :)#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#team starkid#starkid#starkid fanart#stephanie lauter#peter spankoffski#fanart#my art#animation#hatchetfield#hatchetfield universe#hatchetverse#hm sappy and sickenly cute is actually not totally accurate actually but i digress#lautski
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have a lion dance for these trying times ♥♥
#i love you ms paint#thanks for getting me thru every artblock ever actually#ILY LION DANCE TOO#shaking trying not to infodump 3k abt their roles and why they fit#i need to do a tad more research anyway...#unfortunate bc it's difficult to find in depth stuff in english.. woe...#i digress#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#isat isabeau#in stars and time fanart#in stars and time siffrin#siffrin fanart#lion dance#lunar new year#for all u isat lion dance enjoyers#bc there will be more.#i am nothing if not self indulgent#artilite#artilite doodle
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