#anyway yeah im back from my trip so may be able to get more stuff done | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dear-ao3 · 8 months ago

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🇺🇸🇺🇸its friday then its saturday sunday WHAT🇺🇸🇺🇸 🇺🇸🇺🇸ITS FRIDAY THEN ITS SATURDAY SUNDAY WHAT🇺🇸🇺🇸

what the fuck is a kilometer everyone! in case you couldn't tell, this week were in miami, florida, usa. shit hit the fan big time (probably cause its Florida), penalties were dished out, questionable guests were invited, history was certainly made, celebrations were beyond had and silly season was positively sillying. today is may 10th and lets stage dive right in. and trust me, youre gonna wanna read this one :)

please note: i think this is the longest one weve had so far. i hit the photo and video limit. i was terrified i was going to hit the line limit as well.

so. the miami race. its another sprint weekend. back to back sprints. who thought that was a good idea. idk. wasnt me.

this is only the third time there has been a race in miami. and miami has already made its mark. both of the previous times f1 has gone there there were batshit bonkers things happening. especially in 2022:

-lando and daniel did a whole bit with james corden, the very origin of this look:

-sebastian vettel protested the fia mandating (trying to mandate? im not sure) inspecting drivers underwear to make sure that it was fireproof by wearing underwear on top of his race suit. his logic was essentially, well were all adults here and we can make desisions for ourselves, the fia has other shit to worry about (look it up if you want the whole story)

-sir lewis hamilton protested the fia jewelry ban by showing up to the press conference wearing what seems to be every piece of jewelry he had on hand. at the time, he was getting fined for wearing a nose stud in the car while other people were wearing wedding rings (apparently) (there is more to this story, look it up if you want, for now tho were just using it to set the miami scene as a race that has never known peace)

and also, fernando alonso served massive amounts of cunt in miami back in 2004:

on account of the fact that it is florida, this is also where the weird sort of washed up celebrities usually appear (you know the ones who are not cool enough to make it to monaco but still somehow end up at a gp?) and there were definitely several of those. ill talk about them later. so anyway, like most races, miami is usually a trip.

now that the scene is set, lets get some lights on. prior to the race, we had a....wide variety of stuff happen.

and lets just start with lando. hes back being a pr menace again.

so lando is friends with this dj named martin garrix. he did that song animals that had clubs in a chokehold back in like 2014. anyway. he is dutch. this will play a role momentarily. lando has toured around with martin before, notably over winter break on his frat boy pose world tour that i mentioned a good many several updates ago.

so earlier this week was kings day in amsterdam. aka the kings birthday. and a good excuse to wear orange and party. lando likes to party and mclarens team color is orange (dont come for me i know its Technically papaya), and hes friends with a dutch dj. so kings day found him on a boat in amsterdam having a regular old Time. (slight flash warning)

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anyway, brief tangent to say that one of the people he was on the boat with was none other than eva gutowski? the mylifeaseva youtuber? from like 2012? with the literally my life is beaches every single night, messy buns and christmas lights song? yeah not on my bingo board to see her, martin garrix and lando norris all partying on a boat in an amsterdam canal together, but cest la vie i suppose!

all was going well for lando until this photo started circulating:

turns out he did not break his nose, he somehow just managed to cut it on some smashed glass. presumably by smashing a glass into his face, as he later mimed to max during the drivers parade. thankfully that meant that he was going to be able to drive in miami!

his official statement to the press during media day was its "a little bit silly. looked a lot worse, everyone thought it was horrendous and it was just a little cut. I wish i had a cooler story, but sadly its not"

martin garrix later said that it was from a cup that had a chip on the rim and he took a sip from it and the rum cut his nose, but because of the placement it started bleeding a lot and they put bandaids on it and then someone mummied him with the gauze, someone else took a citure of it which went viral and everyone (including mclaren) saw it and thought that martin had broken his nose.

in a mclaren video that he did later on with oscar, he jokes that he had gotten a nose job.

aside from that, lando also went to the miami heat game. so did some other drivers (like pierre), but his teammate oscar also went.

you might be wondering oh thats nice, did they go together?

well. look at the comparison of where they were sitting:

lando has court side tickets and is dressed like a frat boy (complete with a nose bandage) and oscar is seemingly on the other side of the court about 10-15 rows up. i sincerely doubt the other knew they were going.

moving on from mclaren. we have mercedes.

for some reason, and i really could not tell you why, merc decided to create an emoji car on WhatsApp and premier it on the empire state building. yes, on it.

toto and lewis flipped the switch themselves, and it looked vaguely like a wedding photo or baby announcement or something equally insane.

lewis also got to drive on 5th avenue:

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aparently he was told by the mayor of new york to Not do doughnuts but well, hes lewis hamilton, and he did them anyway and said hey guys its not my fault that i had to do doughnuts its the Car's fault cause i cant really u turn in it

and side note, in case you are wondering, the marks from his doughnuts are still there (at least as of may 4 cause i marched my ass down 5th avenue when i was in the city this weekend and gazed upon them. would recommend)

reguardless of just how much lewis slayed though, the emoji car did look decently silly:

the mercedes social media admin, who are notoriously bonkers, also shitted on how shit the actual merc f1 car is by making their twitter bio to "home of the whatsapp emoji car"

george was notably nowhere to be found at the emoji car reveal in the city (i know hes in the photo, that was from the race weekend itself) worry not everyone, we will get to him later.

meanwhile, alpine.

in case you need a refresher, alpine are not doing too hot at all. theyre doing pretty bad actually. but, people own stake in the team. and one of those people happens to be travis kelce, football player for the kansas city chiefs and taylor swifts boyfriend.

idk why he owns stake in alpine, but he does. and leading up to the race, reportedly, he and taylor were going to be in the paddock at the alpine garage. this was all very much according to rumors, but it was rumored to be plausible because this would be the last weekend taylor has off before the next leg of the international eras tour starts.

why do we care if taylor is in the paddock?

well.

a decent chunk of fernando alonso's internet presence is entirely based around the insane omg hes dating taylor swift rumors. (he wasnt, but as we saw in the last update, the social media team can really get him to play into it) and wouldn't it just be hilarious if they were in the same place, but thwarted by estie bestie and pierre gasley??

taylor though did not end up in the paddock. but travis kelce did. but there will be a weird celebrities section later.

checo was asked aparently what taylor swift album was his favorite. he said that he was in his tortured poets department era because it was hot. i dont have a source for this one, y'all are just going to have to trust me that it actually happened.

yuki also shoved a bunch of footballs under his shirt on media day: (unfortunately i seem o have lost the link to this video)

and this weekend was logan's home race. technically, cause hes american, he has three home races, but since this one is in miami and hes grew up a hop skip and a jump away in fort lauderdale, this is the one that really counts for him. and they made him do some interesting pr including wearing a duracell sorts bra over a shirt to play soccer with a bunch of professional soccer players (idk who they are ok, sue me ig)

he also quizzed alex albon on america slang. but it wasnt really american slang, it was more like tiktok slang. reguardless, we got to hear logan stay stuff like pookie and no cap.

also. tom brady was in the Williams garage. he looked like he would murder for logan sargeant. (to be fair so dod jenson button)

and. on a more somber note. this weekend was also the 30th anniversary of ayrton senna's death. senna was a Brazilian driver in the 80s and 90s and won the championship in 88, 90 and 91. he died during a crash in the 1994 imola gp while racing for williams. (he was also not the only driver to die that weekend, with roland ratzenberger dying the previous say during the qualifying session). (again though this happened 30 years ago and i dont have time to talk about it on this post, if you want to know the full details of that entire very tragic weekend you can read about it here)

senna is famously known for the line "if you no longer go for a gap that exists you are no longer a racing driver." this will become relevant later.

sebastian vettel made an instagram announcement saying that he was going to be driving one of sennas cars at the imola gp this year in honor of ayrton sennas memory. why is he the one doing it? because im pretty sure he owns the car

aside from that. before we get into the really good juicy shit. we also had some new pet pics.

zhou posted some new pictures of his cat sweetcorn and charles's dog leo continues to serve lost in the sauce realness:

and we learned that valtteri has a reindeer named rosa

leo was also featured in charles's instagram post from miami and yes Technically this was from After the race but its my post and i can do what i want so heres leo:

he posted these photos, plus a few more on his instagram with the caption:

"he is very fast, he is very cool, he is very scary and very brave, he is everything. Leo 👑🤍"

which is just. heart melting. also his dog has a paddock pass?????

lance stroll has a new sponsor, its krown produce.

charles leclerc once again pulled up to the track in a fancy little sports car that was decked out in maimi ferrari blue and failed to park it

george russell nearly killed ed sheeran on a hot lap

and that of course takes us to the washed up celebrities. there were many famous people there but im just going to touch on the unholy trinity of (and yes i am being serious here) jake paul, james charles and the previous president of the united states of America.

now. while it is baffling that jake was in the ferrari garage (and seemingly a charles leclerc fan and also who on earth told him that beard looked good?) and understandably hilarious that max and checo clearly are scared of james charles, the trump thing is decently upsetting.

here, once again, is where i will interject my opinion.

should they have done this? fuck no. aside from what trump stands for (in case you are somehow unfamiliar, hes being tried for several crimes and also wants to destroy democracy and is trying to run for president again this year, to put it very very mildly he is controversial especially to americans and this was an american race) f1 is supposed to be a non political sport (a rule put in place by the fia following lewis hamilton and sebastian vettel speaking out for black lives matter and gay rights respectfully)

and mclaren did make a statement about this which said:

"mclaren is a non political organization however we recognize and respect the office of the president of the united states. so when the request was made to visit our garage on race day we accepted alongside the president of the fia and the ceos of liberty media and formula 1. we were honored that mcalren racing was chosen as the representative of f1 which gave us the opportunity to showcase the world class engineering that we bring to motorsport"

which makes it sound at least to me like this was not their idea to invite him and if the fia president is saying hey this guys coming to your garage you cant really exactly say no to him (should they have fought it? yes. mclaren might be a british team but zak brown is american and he also follows trump on instagram so at the very least he Definitely knew what message this would send if no one else did)

lando was asked about his presence and im not going to quote his response here cause simply i dont want to take up more space writing about trump than i need to. but i will say that he looked uncomfortable during the question (which also shouldnt have been allowed to be asked in the first place) and at the end he kind of looks at Charles and shrugs like "idk man" and yes his response is not worded very well and im not saying that he supports trump, im also not saying he doesnt. i dont know the guy. but i would like to take this moment to remind everyone of a few years ago when lando did defend lewis on social media and called out people who were being racist towards him and remind everyone that he was one of very few drivers to kneel at a race in support of black lives matter. not everyone participated and also not everyone of those participants kneeled. so do with this information what you will. if you want to see his response it can be found here

but obviously, we are all here for the racing. so lets get into it.

miami saw two special liveries.

rb dropped their livery with zero lead up and pretty much as a total surprise. it fucking slayed:

on instagram someone asked why they didnt hype it. the vcarb admin responded with "no need to hype when you can COOK! 🧑‍🍳"

this was definitely a dig at ferrari who also did a special miami livery that they hyped up to no end. like seriously, it was stupidly drawn out. china had barely ended and they were like hey. psst. hey guys. to distract you all from the fact that this was the first time all season we haven't been on the podium we've got a little secret. were bringing back the blue for the miami race!

and everyone was like huh?! theyre going blue!!! how cool!!!

and it did seem like it would be cool. they revealed the suits first:

and then they talked relentlessly about the two colors they were using and how important they are to historical ferrari and blah blah blah

and then carlos and charles did special edition blue helmets and we were all like ok ok its serious omg its real ok this is going to be like dinoco lightning McQueen!

and then. they revealed this: (please imagine that one dan howell womp boat noise esque sound effect here)

which is just. a disappointment. really. the blue looks kind of gray. we could have had it all but we lost it.

and will buxton, who i have talked about before hes one of the sky sports presenters, had this to say about the whole blue car ordeal, which is just so real of him:

"ferrari have been teasing this livery for ages oOooOooo its gonna be blue!!! going back to north america! in 1964 ferrari ran a... well not to get too complicated but they ran a blue and white livery in north america, mainly because they were upset with the italian federation and the fia who failed to validate one of their sports cars... ANYWAY so they ran a blue and white car, ferrari have decided to may homage to the history by....not doing that kind of a livery at all. just...chucking on some light blue and some other blue. bit of a mish mash hodge podge weirdness that doesnt really work. BUT the overalls look Amazing. the shirts look Amazing. im not a fan of the car livery, i just think its a Mess. its a Mess, like you could have done something Classic and Beautiful kinda like that *gestures to his shoes* blue and white!"

will buxton, everyone!! and before you ask, yes that is exactly how he speaks. you can watch that clip here if you dont believe me.

and you might be noticing one or two or eight or actually 15 hp logos on that car. (personally i think they did blue for the hp not for north america but thats just me) and that is because hp is now a title sponsor of ferrari. they are now scuderia ferrari hp. and yes, the hp logo on the suits makes it look like they are telletubbies and yes everyone in italy is like hello Why did we do this and for those answers we will have to get straight into silly season

now. silly season has officially started. i know everyone was like oh it wont Really Start until merc decide whos got the second seat. well throw that straight out the window like a snake in a bag cause theres a new contender in town:

adrian newey.

we've talked about him before. hes the chief technical officer of red bull racing. hes a very good car designer and aerodynamicist.

how good is he? you might be asking. allow me to enlighten you:

newey joined williams in 1991. in 1992 they won the constructors championship. they won again in 1993 and 1994. and 1996 and 1997.

newey joined mclaren in 1997. in 1998 they won the constructors championship and in 1999 they won the drivers.

newey joined red bull in 2006. red bull won the constructors championship in 2010. and again in 2011, 2012 and 2013. then again in 2021 (drivers only, not constructors), 2022 and 2023.

he has helped to build 14 championship winning cars. soon to be 15 if max wins this season again.

well! mr newey has decided that he has had enough of the weird red bull politics (reportedly he didnt like how the assault thing got swept under the rug and largely ignored and tbh good for him) and he has announced that he is leaving red bull at the end of the year.

despite the fact that it really seems like newey is leaving Because of christian (at least somewhat indirectly), christian had this to say about him:

"for me, when adrian joined red bull, he was already a superstar designer. two decades and 13 championships later he leaves as a true legend. he is also my friend and someone i will be eternally grateful to for everything he brought to our partnership. all of our greatest moments from the past 20 years have come with adrian's hand on the technical tiller. the legacy he leaves behind will echo through the halls of milton keynes and the rb17 track car will be a fitting testament and legacy to his time with us."

horner did claim that this was "coming for some time" and was not a result of tensions at red bull

now thats all fine and dandy and slightly ironic but where is newey going?

the short answer is, we dont know!

the long answer is that there have been rumors that he has talked to basically every team on the grid. there is also speculation that he will retire. but the rumors about this are kinda funny and literally every day someone is claiming something different.

at the start, we knew it was likely going to be aston martin or ferrari signing him. but now seemingly everyone has talked to him.

important to note that theres a whole lot of clauses and technicalities on him signing with another team because of how the cars are built and when they are built. originally it was proposed that he would not be able to work on a car until 2027, but it seems that red bull agreed to an exit that allows him to join a rival team as soon as he departs red bull in early 2025.

so who wants him?

-reportedly lawrence stroll wanted him to sign with aston martin. i haven't heard anything about this in awhile but aparently they asked fernando Alonso about this this weekend. newey had said before that he would like to work with fernando. i cant find the link but i think that newey previously said that he doesnt like lawrence stroll

-toto wolff is desperately trying to get his grubby little hands on adrian and at this point its so funny. aparently adrian doesnt want to work with toto cause he also doesnt like him and he also doesnt want to work with the team in a post lewis state (rip) and he thinks it might take merc too long to get back on top and after a long time at red bull, he doesnt want to be with a team that long again. this has not stopped toto from trying to sign him tho. its still rumored that newey might be talking to merc after the miami race.

-williams aparently has also talked to mr newey. its no secret that williams absolutely suck right now. so they need all the help they can get. which is essentially what james vowels said about talking to newey: "I think we as Williams have a huge amount of work to do. Adrian or not, our task is enormous -- and Adrian wouldn't make it easier, but that's the whole point." he said that discussions with adrian have been "light" but there still have been discussions

-zak brown of mclaren has also talked about how he is "not surprised" that newey decided to leave red bull at all and thinks it is in fact because of christian (aparently lots of people have left red bull to go to other teams) and he has seen an "increase in cvs" coming from red bull employees at mclaren. (its also implied that zak thinks this might cause red bull to eventually leave the grid, remember that they are just an energy drink company after all) it doesnt Seem like mclaren have been talking about signing newey, but whos to really say at this point (toto wolff also agrees with zak on increase in cvs and was quoted as saying "zak is absolutely correct, we are seeing red bull cv's though all the levels" and then horner clapped back with a statement that toto should be more worried since red bull poached "over 200 staff from the mercedes engine department"

-there was also weird hinting about newey from stake??? of all teams??? in the form of this instagram video that they posted which unfortunately i cant insert in here cause i have more important videos that take precedence but from what i van understand its a video of several stake employees doing tests very very distractedly to an audio from the kardashians dishing tea and dirt, with the caption "Us when there’s Adrian Newey rumours in the paddock 👀" (red bull commented on this video with " Everyone is an Adrian Newey fan 💁"

-also pierre gasley posted an instagram photo in his miami dump with newey. which is interesting timing.

-there is also the chance that he could retire. newey said, in response to lewis and charles complimenting him "im very flattered by their words, at the moment I just want to take a break. we'll see..." and a reporter (dont know how reliable this reporter is) named jeremy clarkson from the sun said "late last year, newey started working on a new sailing boat. and as hes now 65 years old, who knows? he might just decide to be better off and spend the autumn of his years sailing around the world in that"

-and the last people we know who are really Interested are ferrari. and this is an interesting one. from an outside perspective, it seems like ferrari have the best chance. they have reportedly offered newey a contract of 100 million euros for four years and there have been rumors that fred vasseur has met with him in london. and even other rumors that he is actually going to ferrari. newey has also said that he wishes he had worked with lewis hamilton during his career, and that happens to be where lewis is going next year.

but when looking at ferrari, we need to consider something else. the hp sponsor.

now. this is all speculation. it is also mostly all my own personal speculation, but i needed to include it so forgive me.

people have been speculating and wondering why ferrari would accept a title sponsor. they have had them before with Marlboro, and mission winnow. and now we have hp. but there were a few years in the middle of mission winnow and hp where there was no title sponsor. now they have one and they are scuderia ferrari hp.

this is interesting. especially when you consider that hp is rumored to be covering "about 66% of the teams budget cap."

this is estimated to be about the same amount of money as red bulls oracle title sponsorship, which is 90 million a year, roughly.

now. come with me down the rabbit hole for a moment. i invite you in.

lets first look at the facts. ferrari announced lewis would be driving for them in 2025 on feb 1, 2024. but we know the contract was signed sometime in january and the talks must have predated that. reportedly, theyre paying lewis a whole fucking lot.

but! i dont think they would have promised to pay him money that they didnt have. hence, i dont think that the hp sponsorship was signed to afford lewis. also, again this was back in january and its now may.

the horner situation blew up inearly february, right after it was announced that lewis had signed with ferrari. and yes there had been some speculation that newey was leaving the team before then, but then it became more official, with newey only making it known it was a real possibility within the last month.

i propose that ferrari had only planned to sign lewis initially and they had the money for it, hence why they did it. but as soon as it became clear that newey was also on the table (which again, wasnt until recently) that must have sparked the search for a title sponsor. (again, i know these things take time, but i really dont think this was a thing pre lewis contract)

so. im thinking that ferrari partnered with hp to help them afford newey.

and! if you doubt me!!! look at what lewis had to say at the press conference this weekend!!!

"id love to work with him in the future, he'd absolutely be at the top of [the list]"

like LOOK at that SMIRK. he knows things. we've seen this smirk before. when he was signing with ferrari. im telling you all. 8th world drivers championship for lewis. its coming. its happening. i feel it in my toes.

anyway, back to what's really going on and not just my unadulterated opinion.

silly season.

our next driver contract was signed. and it was nico hulkenberg for audi. now audi will not be an official team until 2026 (they are replacing stake) so. this means three things:

there is now an open seat at haas for someone new to enter the team (likely for ollie bearman, who is already a reserve driver, will have 6 practice sessions with haas and replaced carlos in saudi) (kevin magnussen was asked what he thought about this and he said "i’m not really here to take care of young kids, you know? I do that at home...so, hopefully, the guy we have in the car will be competent, professional, and consistent like Nico has been, and we’ll see if I’ll be in the other car."

since nico is singing at sauber for 2025 and its understood that he technically singed with Audi so, this means he has at minimum a 2 year contract

either valtteri or zhou will lose their sauber seat to nico hulkenberg

as people online pointed out this has massive parallels to 2013 when lewis hamilton joined a new team, nico hulkenberg joined sauber, there was a massive regulation change for the nest year and it was the fourth season of red bull dominance. of course, 2013 was also the last year of the red bull dominance before it got passed off to merc. so does that mean .... red bull will lose their dominance in the rrew 2026 regulation changes without newey??? will history once again repeat????

valtteri said that he is "speaking to multiple teams. some talks have advanced more than the others"

also talking to audi, we know, was carlos sainz. reportedly audi offered him a fuckton of money. and also reportedly, carlos has rejected the offer. he seems to be holding out for merc or red bull. but there have been several statements from people at audi that carlos is still their prime target. dont know how accurate that actually is.

yuki tsunoda is reportedly on audis short list of drivers. we will see if he gets offered something now that carlos has reportedly rejected audis offer.

carlos is still unemployed.

and what of max verstappen?

well. he seems generally unbothered. despite the fact that toto is still actively trying to recruit him.

he is supposed to have a conversation with mercedes on monday (may 6) about moving to merc. they reportedly want to offer max a ridiculously high salary. (for context, i think max is making around 55 million USD per year now and is (likely) the highest paid driver) (this does not include money from sponsorships either)

what the number is is disputed. some reports say 160 million USD. some day 270 million USD. whatever the real number is, it is high. theres also rumors that they would bring in helmet marko for him.

heres what max had to say earlier this week:

"250 million euros? no. im happy with what im earningg already. if youre driving for p5 or p6, you get quite grumpy. its always about performances at the end of the day, everyone knows that and toto knows that."

essentially. he doesnt care if hes making a shit ton of money and loosing when he could be making a bit less of a shitton of money and winning. worth pointing out, we really dont know anything because toto said this earlier this week as well:

"people make up meetings, make up what's happening with the drivers but those things should be behind closed doors and everything thats been out there was not really the right thing."

christian horner, of course, had a response to all of this. because he cannot resist a good cat fight with toto wolff:

"why on earth would you want to leave [red bull]? mercedes are the third team, behind their customers at the moment. i dont think toto's problems are his drivers. his time would be better spent perhaps focusing on [mercedes] rather than the driver market"

and hes right about some of it. but also there are plenty of good reasons to leave red bull given what happened earlier this year and the power dynamic theyre stuck in, as we have seen many people doing (reportedly via zak brown) including adrian newey.

and, you might be wondering, didnt merc want to sign kimi antonelli at one point? and you are right. and funny you should mention him.

he did a test drive of the 2022 (? might have been 2021 ive seen conflicting reports) merc car i think it was just before chinese gp. and his one lap time record was a 1:21.00. people have compared this to george russells personal fastest lap in the 2022 car which was in imola and was a 1:20.962. now theres a lot that goes into a lap and these were on two different tracks and track conditions were different and all that. not to mention that in imola when george did that lap it was sorta wet ish and the fuel loads were different and a million other things. it is still though impressive.

(but lets remember when daniel tested the red bull last year before he replaced de vries he was a tenth off max verstappen and now hes struggling for points so)

now. there are also rampant rumors that kimi is going to replace logan sargeant for the imola gp. which is the race after miami. the rumors speculate that merc is going to loan kimi to Williams (remember they all have the same engines so this isn't unheard of) for 2024 and 2025 and then have kimi join merc in 2026.

this is unlikely, but then the fia reportedly received a request to allow kimi his super license, which they would need to get special permission for because he is under 18 until august 25. reportedly, both toto and james vowels denied that they made this request. which is interesting. well, it was explicitly denied by toto, james just said that kimi would not be racing for williams at imola.

james vowels, williams team principal, was asked about this possibility on media days and he said that logan would not be replaced:

"lets put it this way. I haven't spoken to kimi since abu dhabi last year. hopefully that puts it in context, i knoe nothing about what's going on. with mercedes tests right now. we are looking, as everyone else is, for where we wanna be on driver line up for next year. sane we have our own young driver program. in the case of kimi, i cant really adjudicate the level hes at. in case of him coming into the car this year, ive always said from the beginning its a meritocracy, logan has to earn his seat and at the moment he has sone tough targets where he was to get much closer to alex but there was nothing on the radar at the moment for replacing him."

now, its already regarded that williams wrecked logans career by taking him out of f2 before he was ready (he was supposed to have another year in f2) so it would be bad for them to wreck two peoples careers in a row.

nico rosberg had something to say on the matter of kimi last week:

"antonelli is definitely a superstar of the future, but unfortunately timing wise its really too early for him, and especially too early for toto to be able to make a decision. i mean, he needs to wait until somewhat later in the year as we see how antonelli does in f2 also, because he does need a really strong season in f2 to even make it a possibility for him to go straight to mercedes"

cause remember, merc doesnt usually sign rookies. actually they never have. they've only ever had michael schumacher, nico rosberg, sir lewis hamilton, valtteri bottas and george russell drive for them. nico, valtteri and george were previously at williams, lewis came in already a world champion from mclaren with one of the strongest rookie seasons in f1 history and michael schumacher was, well, michael fucking schumacher. no rookies to be seen.

aside from all that. theres some rumors that gunther steiner wants to take over the vcarb team with investors. and that hes suing haas for essentially not paying him.

now. ive already said a million times on this post that lando and oscar are perpetually unbothered by silly season in the funniest way possible. but now we have two new contenders for that spot: our friends the mercedes drivers.

that is right! sir lewis hamilton couldnt give less of a fucking shit this year. maybe its cause he finally knows that hes going to be free of the absolutely ass mercedes car after this year and have a decent and real shot at winning again next year at ferrari, esp if they're going to sign adrian newey.

well. at the beginning of the season he was giving no shits and signing ferrari caps left right and center. then, aparently mercedes pr yelled at him for this, and hes now only allowed to sign mercedes hats only. video link to this is here. this has not stopped lewis. he now wears a bracelet that says "forza ferrari"

he was also tits out pretty much all weekend, which is not unusual, but its good to see him slay:

and then we have george russell.

george, as we know, will be staying at mercedes for 2025. and as we also know, the mercedes second seat is a hot item in the paddock. Everyone has been speculated to be going to mercedes. from max to carlos to kimi to even esteban ocon. toto is reportedly trying to spend over a hundred million dollars on getting a second driver and trying to sign adrian newey. the current car is a shit box.

and what, pray tell, is george up to in all of this???

hes chilling, tits out, on a beach:

not an absolute care in the world.

but. with all this in mind. with all of that in mind. lets dive into practice 1.

i didnt actually watch practice 1, but my sister did and she sent me some notes.

the most interesting thing to happen at practice 1 was that charles went for a little spin on the track because his clutch decided to give up because his car overheated, resulting in a red flag. he did not restart the practice session and only did 3 laps in total. not great when you remember the next thing is a sprint qualifying session. also, he asked his engineer what he should do. and his engineer kinda ghosted him.

there were also a slew of upgrades on various cars.

pierre now has all the upgrades that esteban has (which is mostly a lighter chassis), mercedes had an upgrade as well, but everyone was really looking at mclaren.

mercedes also had upgrades. as we would see throughout the weekend, they basically did nothing.

mclaren pretty much revamped their whole car. lando had the full update and oscar had about half and would get the other half for imola (the next race). the update included changes to the:

front wing

front suspension

front corner

floor body

sidepod inlet

coke/engine cover

cooling louvres

rear suspension

rear corner

beam wing

all in all to say, it was a lot of upgrades. according to zak brown, oscar, who had half the upgrades, was running .2 seconds a lap slower than lando was on set up alone. despite this, oscar still took p2 in practice. only .105 seconds behind max verstappen. unfortunately, lando was tweaking the set up during practice and was not able to do a flying lap, so heading into the sprint qualifying we didnt know how fast the full upgrade package actually was. but given oscars pace, we could only assume that it was fast.

moving onto the sprint qualifying

first of all. it was hot. fucking hot as hell. this meant several things, the most important one being that the cars were going to absolutely eat the tires. the first two quarters of qualifying were all done on medium tires, so it wasnt as much of a problem, but the last quarter was done on softs (as per the rules) which were only good for one lap.

valtteri bottas had a new race engineer starting this race and at one point he failed to tell valtteri while he was changing some settings that oscar piastri was coming up behind him at full speed and the two of them nearly collided. but they did not. there was no contact between the two cars. valtteri did though get a three place grid penalty for the sprint race. later on, zak brown referred to the incident as a "alpha make turf war." i am not making this up i promise.

logan sargeant, everyones favorite poor little meow meow, was down in 20th at the end of q1 (but did managed to go fastest in the third sector of the track) and was thus knocked out. his teammate, alex albon, was up in p16 (and also knocked out). but!!! alex got his lap time deleted for violating track limits (literally he just drove over the whole chicane, didnt even bother to turn) which knocked him down to p20 and logan up to p19. it also meant that for the first time EVER logan had out qualified his teammate

despite this, he still called himself a dumb fuck over the radio and slammed his hand on his car

someone (maybe it was martin bundle?) was telling everyone that when he did a hot lap with george around the track earlier, george was telling him that there was one section of the track at turn 16 where the sponsor boards around the edge of the track turn into a darker purple and george was saying that it was harder to judge there where the wall was because of the color change. and the commentators deliberated over whether or not this could be a legit thing.

but then one by one, pretty much everyone rammed into the wall. including sir lewis hamilton who, according to martin brundle "made more mistakes in that sector than he used to in a season." he got out in q2.

and then all eyes were on george russell, who might just be able to save merc, but, he was running a little slower than he needed to be and crofty said "george russell might make it a double miserable day for mercedes and he did” and he was out in q2 as well. the camera cut to toto sitting in the garage and he looked Less Than Pleased. and then merc also got investigated for their pit crew not wearing their helmets when lewis came through the pit lane.

so heading into q3 there were a butt ton of pissed off drivers that were out. how do we know they were pissed off? well when they got out of the car and walked down the pit lane, they all still had their helmets on, which i believe it was one nico rosberg said once meant that they were pissed and didnt want to deal with the cameras.

but the 10 people who were still in were all sitting in their garages. waiting.

waiting for what? for the session to be half over so they could all go out and get in everyone else's way. because remember, they are all on soft tires and the soft tires are only good for one lap. everyone came out of the garages with about 4 minutes left. so everyone had one shot to get a good lap.

lando norris had been p1 in both of the previous rounds while he was on the medium tires, but now that he was on the soft tires he couldn't find the pace. or, perhaps it was that his tires were not warm enough, because he did manage to go fastest in the last sector of everyone.

which meant, of course, that max verstappen pulled out a p1. he was very surprised that he managed it because he had a screw up at one point where he lost time. upon being told that he was in fact in pole position he said "lol, what happened to the others? that was terrible! ill take it" in his post interview he as asked how his lap felt and he said "to be honest with you it felt pretty terrible" would this be an omen for max? idk lets find out!

most surprising out of everything was daniel ricciardo managing to get p4. not only did he out qualify his teammate, but he hasn't been that high up on the grid since the texas gp in 2023. he was positively Thrilled with it to. he did his little "KI KI KI AY AY AY" over the radio and in his interview after said that "we belong towards the front, so happy for everyone"

max also stared at charles's ass afterwards

and for some reason, before the sprint race, lando cohosted a yoga session on a beach that was sponsored by hilton???

yeah man i have no idea either. he kept saying he didnt like the sand and brushed off his hands a million and seven times. (this was also funny cause it was star wars day (may 4th))

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and the next day everyone geared up for the sprint race. and it was fucking bonkers. i know i say lots of things are bonkers. this one takes the cake. it was a race of penalties. with the first one going to esteban ocon before he even made it to the grid for running into charles leclerc in the pitlane and breaking his front wing.

everyone pulled up to the grid in their starting order:

p1: max p2: charles p3: checo p4: daniel p5: carlos p6: oscar p7: lance p8: fernando p9: lando p10: nico p11: george p12: lewis p13: esteban p14: kevin p15: yuki p16: pierre p17: zhou p18: logan p19: alex p20: valtteri

martin brundle was discussing tires. specifically he was discussing the importance of warning up the tires. saying that the tires need to go through a "heat cycle." which is just. such a choice of words. i know this is probably a real legit term. but sir, i grew up on tumblr.com. such sentences are jarring.

and then the lights went out. away they went. and immediately it all went to hell in a flaming hot hand basket.

the aston martins of fernando and lance decides to kiss, lewis went for a gap and knocked into them and that whole kerfuffle shoved lando off the track in turn one.

this brought out an immediate yellow flag and left the rest of the midfield picking up the pieces.

"whoa," fernando said over the radio, 'hamilton arrived like a bull!"

"i think you'll find it was your teammate that arrived like a bull first," crofty said up in the commentary box. "and then hamilton came and doubled the trouble."

meanwhile, in his own car, hamilton said "there was a gap on the inside so i took it," all but dedicating his move to the late and great ayrton senna

reguardless of whos fault it really was, the stewards didnt care because they chose not to investigate it further. zak brown thought that this was stupid because it was clearly a driver error.

lando gave no shits even though he had been knocked out of the race at no fault of his own and decided that he was going to walk across the track after he got out of the car. that walk later cost him 50,000 dollars worth of fines. thankfully. the damage on his car was minor. meaning he could still do qualifying for the race later in the afternoon.

in addition to lando, lance stroll was forced to retire his car as well. and fernando alonso had a tire puncture.

later on lando said "nothing i could have done. i think today we payed the price for being around others that are careless..... ill get it back tomorrow."

a safety car was called on lap three to clear the damage.

when the safety car ended on lap 4, the grid had been properly shuffled up:

p1: max p2: charles p3: daniel p4: checo p5: carlos p6: oscar p7: ncio p8: kevin p9: lewis p10: yuki p11: pierre p12: logan p13: zhou p14: george p15: valtteri p16: alex p17: esteban p18: fernando

and a reminder: in a sprint race, only down to 8th place gets points. this will become a key detail.

on lap 5 checo overtook daniel, putting daniel into 4th infront of carlos sainz.

now, one thing you need to know about danny rics is that hes a late brake king. meaning that he knows Exactly how to milk the most out of his car by pushing it to the last possible second before braking into the turns, giving himself just a slight edge and a few tenths of a second of space between him and whoever is behind him. notably, this is how he was able to win in monaco in 2018, with an MGU-K failure that made his engine have 25% less horsepower, and only two (out of eight) functioning gears while holding off sebastian vettel in a ferrari. hes a regular expert at late braking.

and his next victim was none other than carlos sainz. because, lets be honest here, hes in a shitbox car, defending against a ferrari while trying to catch a red bull.

and at the beginning, checo was holding daniel in his DRS zone (within 1 second of him to give daniel a speed boost so that he could stay in front of carlos so that carlos wouldn't pass daniel and then pass checo) while carlos was still only .3 seconds behind daniel with DRS. late brake king indeed.

but while that battle was shaping up, there was another battle.

on lap 8 we had the return of another king. the kevin magnussen menace king.

if you recall, in saudi arabia, kevin got 20 seconds worth of penalties and used that to drive like an absolute madman, royally holding up the whole back of the grid so that his teammate nico could score a point in the race.

and well. nico was in 7th, kevin was in 8th and sir lewis hamilton was in 9th. and yes, sir lewis might be driving an absolute shit box car, but he is still a 7 time world champion. hes got some moves. and he was itching to pull them on kmags.

lewis was a very solid half a second behind kevin. and according to our friends the commentators "mercedes dont look like they a great race car"

hamilton agreed with this saying "im very slow on the straight." he tried to pass kevin. and he failed.

two laps later, they were still battling it out, this time though, kevin skipped over the chicane.

"he just gained an advantage!" lewis said "he skipped the chicane!"

and so it was all aboard the struggle bus, population lewis, falling victim to kevin, carlos, who was still unable to pass danny rics , and max, who was having terrible time with his tires.

lewis briefly escaped the struggle bus when he was able to pass kevin on lap 11. kevin also reviewed his first 10 second penalty for skipping the chicane. but this did not seem to deter kevin because then he drove into lewis and left the track again.

"i wonder how many penalties he wants to pick up today" crofty wondered aloud. hint: this would not be his last penalty.

because! kmags was busting out the saudi moves to an absolute t again: going super fucking fast on the straights and then slowing down in the corners. and this was really, really effective because lewis did not have any speed on the straights, so he couldn't catch him.

when lewis finally did pass him on lap 15, kevin went incredibly late on the brakes, like purposefully late just to shove lewis off the track, shoving both lewis and yuki (who was behind him) off the track. even the commentators thought the move was insane, saying that "there was no way he was going to make the apex on that" however! lets remember that kevin was protecting his teammate nico from the cars behind him so that he could be guaranteed points. so nico had a sizable gap (6 seconds) between him and the cars behind when hamilton and yuki passed kevin on lap 16.

closing in on the end of the race. carlos was STILL stuck behind daniel, who had defended his ass off for 15 laps. kevin magnussen had received yet another penalty. and hamilton managed to pass yuki on the last lap for 8th position (but then he got a 20 second penalty for speeding in the pit lane so it meant nothing)

all in all, an interesting race. especially if you were daniel ricciardo who managed to finish in fourth and then barked like a dog over his radio:

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and after the race, they caught up with kevin and asked him about his million penalties (he ended up with 3 ten second penalties for leaving the track and gaining an advantage and one 5 second penalty for track limits) (crofty and martin brundle were in agreement that the penalties that kevin received were not consistent with the severe lack of penalties that were given for the turn one lap one incident. the consensus from them was “i think he was over the limit in many ways on many occasions there" and it was a “little outrageous but he wasn’t plowing into the side of people”)

reguardless, here is what kevin (and lewis) had to say

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basically, kevin seems pretty upset that he is playing the teammate game and nico is not. nico though does have a contract already at a different team, so he really doesnt have to worry about impressing haas

and well, in case you were curious, max won. charles was p2, checo was p3. with all the penalties, kevin ended in 18 and hamilton ended in 16.

and!!! mr logan sargeant!!! for the first time EVER finished ABOVE HIS TEAMMATE in p10!!! (alex was in p13) he came and he DELIVERED!!! he was driving on SOFT TIRES in MIAMI in the HEAT and he SLAYED getting replaced rumors WHOMST

(sorry. i am american. can you tell?)

onto the qualifying session! full steam ahead!

all in all, it was kinda boring. the most interesting thing to happen was danny rics getting p17 (not including his three place grid penalty from the last race) after coming in p4 in the sprint. logan missed out on getting into q2 by .034 seconds lando opted to stay on the medium tires for the last part of qualifying because mclaren didnt want a repeat of spring qualifying where he couldnt get the softs up to temperature. despite this, he still only managed a p5.

oh and this headline:

and so, the grid was set, locked and loaded:

p1: max p2: charles p3: carlos p4: checo p5: lando p6: oscar p7: george p8: lewis p9: nico p10: yuki p11: lance p12: pierre p13: esteban p14: alex p15: fernando p16: valtteri p17: logan p18: danny rics p19: kevin p20: zhou

and it was time for the race to start.

and it started with a definite bang because checo almost took out max on the first lap:

the near crash shuffled the front up a little. oscar was able to gain three places and ended up right behind charles in p3. lando, meanwhile, was shoved further back down the grid in the mayhem (as well as checo) to p6. and on lap five, oscar managed to pass charles for p2. clearly, the upgrades, even the half upgrades that oscar had, were clearly working. he was only 2 seconds behind max (unusual as max usually flies off into the sunset) and was defending like hell against the two ferraris.

meanwhile, estie bestie and pierre were fighting. literally fighting. they were driving Next To Eachother, Wheel To Wheel on the track from turns 13-16 on lap 1. at very fast speeds. it was truly nail biting stuff. alpine even posted about it on instagram:

and who else was fighting? the ferraris, they were fighting. carlos was behind charles, but was convinced that he had more pace than charles did and wanted to pass. Ferrari basically said fuck it whatever and let them fight it out, no team orders. carlos did not end up passing charles.

pit stops played an important role in this race. and many people pitted early. albon, stroll, sargeant, bottas, hulkenberg and gasley. the majority of the back of the grid. all pitted before lap 13. which was interesting because the undercut (pitting for tires before the people around you) is really not effective on the track due to the amount of tire degradation.

anywhoozies. it was shaping up to be a fairly normal and boring race. max was out in front, the ferraris were fighting, the french civil war was alive and well. all normal things to see on a sunday afternoon.

well. it was almost normal. charles and oscar were feuding in the front. as in not they themselves were feuding, but their teams were feuding. charles was told to do whatever oscar didnt do. and oscar was told to do whatever charles didnt do. ferrari even faked a pit stop on lap 15 to try and trick mclaren into pitting oscar earlier and putting charles up into p2. it did not work.

and the normal continued. lando fought with perez for fifteen laps before checo finally pitted on lap 15 and lando was able to get in front of him.

"i dont know what the lando norris equivalent of hammer time is," martin brundle said as checo sailed into the pits. "he needs to bring it."

and bring it he did. he in p5 behind carlos sainz. his race engineer, will, said on lap 20 they should stop defending against the cars behind him and go get carlos. lando was pleased with this. "yeah! ill agree!" he said "i'll go get him!"

while he was chasing carlos, max hit a cone on turn 15 during lap 22.

it was the cone that was on the chicane, showing the cars where the curbing was, and max just kind of plowed into it:

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he was asked about this moment late in the post race press conference and said:

"i didnt like it. so i decided to take it out. and test the durability of the front wing as well. so thats a crash test done. yeah, there was no damage. the cone was out of the way for everyone so everyone it was basically free for all."

the williams app, giving a race play by play had this to say about that lap:

"not satisfied with all his recent trophies, verstappen has picked up a board from the chicane as well... unfortunately for him hes dropped and left it at T16"

but regardless. there was a cone on the track. a Cone was On The Track. according to george it was in the racing line. what are they gonna do? call a virtual safety car on lap 23 for like half a lap.

after the virtual safety car ended and the cone was cleared, max decided it would be a good time to make a pit stop, which meant oscar was now leading the race! being him was carlos, lando and then max. max was a solid 10 seconds behind lando, who was catching up to carlos.

lando got the fastest lap on lap 25 and according to ted down in the pitlane "lando norris [was] doing brilliant laps" and max was loosing time chasing him, and he (max) had very very low grip

and he did not get past carlos, but he did end up leading the race on lap 28 when oscar and carlos both pitted.

and then. the race was about to heat up. menace k mags was back and he had a new target: logan sargeant. kevin had tried to pass logan and rammed into him, sending loan sailing into the wall.

to say logan was upset about it would be an understatement:

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for real, this poor kid cannot fucking catch a break. you can tell how upset he is because he wants the team to think well of him and he knows that he only has one shot to prove himself and doesnt want to waste his chance in f1. and to be knocked out at your home race is absolutely brutal.

after the race, he posted an instagram post of him fishing in front of a sunset to the song something in the orange. please give this man a break he deserves it.

regardless. this caused a safety car. and people pitted under the safety car. pretty much everyone who didnt pit already pitted under the safety car. including lando norris. and he came out of the pits in front of max.

by the time the safety car ended on lap 33, lando was still leading and max was still behind him, charles was in p3, oscar in p4 and carlos in p5. lando had new tires but red bull had speed.

max tried to overtake lando once the safety car ended but he wasnt able to, and then max made a mistake at turn 8 and fell behind with carlos catching up to him.

by the time the drivers could use their DRS again, lando was already more than a second ahead of max and out of DRS range, which would make it harder for max to pass him.

now might be a very good time to remind you all that lando norris has never won a race in f1. he has come close, but he has never won. he really really really wants to win one. people have even started calling him lando no wins cause he has no wins. hes been in f1 for 6 years. he has not won. hes leading a race. he doesnt need to pit. his car is freshly upgraded. and max verstappen is behind him.

while lando was creating a gap, carlos was fighting with Oscar.

now. carlos and oscar have a feud. i dont really know why. but they always seem to pick fights with eachother on track. well, carlos usually picks fights with oscar on track, oscar is usually just chilling.

previous incidents between these two have included but not been limited to:

oscar saying "Classic Carlos, just sitting in the middle of the road, I see nothing has changed" over his radio during the 2023 abu dhabi practice session

a tweet from carlos after the 2023 spa gp that said "not what we wanted today. racing incident, but oscar was too optimistic. he was never side by side and that move has never really worked in spa" (ps. they both dnf'd here after crashing into eachother)

oscar saying "mate, is carlos blind or what?" during practice at the 2023 monza gp

carlos saying (in response to nearly running into oscar during monza practice) "its like hes doing it on purpose"

and well. the feud is still alive and well:

"he pushed me off the track!" carlos said on lap 35 when oscar had definitely not pushed him off the track.

"just tell him to give me a positon and he doesn’t get a panelty" carlos said a lap later. "tell mclaren to be telling him because they need to be telling him."

oscar did not give him the position back and instead got his elbows out.

meanwhile! back at the front lando was a whole tWO SECONDS AHEAD of max on lap 37 AND he had the fastest lap.

mclaren told oscar that ferrari wanted him to swap with carlos but they didnt agree and told oscar not to do anything. so oscar kept defending. and carlos continued to complain.

max, who was still 2 seconds behind lando, came on the radio saying "i can’t get the car to turn it’s a disaster” which was just “music to the ears of everyone at mclaren and charles leclerc”��

well. maybe not everyone at mclaren. because oscar was still battling with carlos. carlos tried to pass him on lap 39 but failed. then he did pass, oscar passed him back and then carlos went to pass him Again, but failed and they touched eachother. Hamilton and perez managed to pass oscar before it was revealed on lap 41 that oscar had front wing damage and needed to box for a replacement.

CARLOS TWEET

and also during this time, kevin managed to get another penalty for not serving his previous penalty correctly.

lando was 3.1 seconds ahead of max

lap 42. lewis was challenging perez for fifth. "if youve got any more power give it to me!" he shouted into his radio, .5 seconds behind perez.

oscar had a truly abysmal pit stop and came out in 19th.

lap 43. lando was 3.8 seconds ahead of max.

alpine was somehow in the points with esteban ocon in 9th.

matin and crofty were discussing kevin and his infinity gauntlet of penalties.

“kevin magnussen must have his own seat up in the stewards office he’s been up there so often” said martin.

“i’m astounded that kevin as a different penalty for something he didn’t already have a penalty for," crofty said, agreeing with martin.

they were studiously ignoring lando, very not wanting to jinx him as he was 4.7 seconds ahead of max.

k mags got another penalty. this time for entering the pit lane. lance stroll got a track limited warning. lando was 5.2 seconds ahead

ten laps to go.

lap 48. fernando was fighting with esteban ocon for 9th. oscar was up to 17th with the fastest lap.

lap 49. the camera panned to the mclaren garage. everyone looked stressed to hell.

lap 50. lando was 5.6 seconds ahead of max. the commentators were scared to find him even more now. somewhere in the world, nico rosberg was loosing his god damned mind.

lap 51. lando was 5.8 seconds ahead. oscar was fighting daniel for 16th

lap 52. oscars race engineer reminded him that "lando is leading the race we do not want to cause a safety car here." lando was 6 seconds ahead of max. lance stroll went off the track and gained two positions.

five laps to go.

lap 53. hamilton was still railing the back of perez. ocon was holding onto 10th.

lap 54. alex albon locked up. yellow flag. everyone held their breath and prayed for no safety car. but he went into the runoff area. there was no safety car. alex rejoined the track in p19.

three laps to go.

lap 55. oscar passed daniel for 15th. lando was seven seconds ahead of max.

lap 56. this would be the first time mclaren had won in America since 2012 with lewis hamilton in austin, tx. their last win basin 2021 with danny rics in monza. lando was 7.3 seconds ahead of max.

last lap.

lap 57. everyone was screaming. i was on the edge of my seat. we waited with baited breath. through the corners, hurtling down the straights. around the last bend. across the finish line.

LANDO NORRIS WINS THE MIAMI 2024 GRAND PRIX

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it was insane! it was astounding! holy shit! he had fucking won!

and that was seemingly every other drivers thought process because seemingly everyone came up to lando to congratulate him.

immediately max and charles gave him a hug.

fernando ran over and smacked his helmet in excitement

carlos came over

followed by danny rics and george

lewis and others congratulated him later on

he stage dived his team

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and charles and max absolutely soaked him on the podium

famously, lando said a few years ago (jokingly) that nico rosberg retired after his first championship im going to reture after my first win (he is not going to). but he also said a bit less jokingly that if he won he would jump in the lake outside of the mclaren technology center. and he has not done that yet. shame on you lando.

now a little interlude on max and charles here. the miami race weekend was the 12 year anniversary of their "inchident" from karting (you know the one) and tbh, the funniest thing that could have possibly happened this weekend was for both of them to be on the podium, but not win.

and ive talked about the Maxplaining and Leclercifying that has happened before, but they took their yapping to a whole new level now that the cameras weren't really on them.

YAP PICS

max also chose violence in the cool down room. upon being shown the footage of the logan crash he said "at least they have a spare chassis now" and he was Positively Shocked at hoe close perez came to knocking him out in turn 1

max even waited for charles to finish his interview so that they could ride to the podium in the same car together (there were three cars, one for each of them). and yet.

they were also unhinged in the post race press conference. max first tried to sit in the middle (the winners seat) to keep yapping with charles and charles had to point to the other side of the couch and be like buddy no youre over there

the post race press conference was unhinged as all shit. lando said that he was going to party very very hard that night and he might not come out with just a scratch on his nose this time.

and by all accounts he did party quite hard afterwards. first, the day he won was cinco fucking de mayo in miami florida and after wards he posted a photo on his instagram at NINE AM LOCAL TIME (presumably when he was about to get on a flight) that just said "recovery 1%" with the caption "worth it" (later he said that he actually didnt wake up really until tuesday morning. man had an insane night)

and later on at the mclaren celebration back in england they did a toast for him and he said "ive had enough alcohol to be honest"

lando also said during the press conference that he really finds the lando no wins nickname funny, and seeing people call him that over the years gave him so much drive to win. he also said that he wanted to use the valtteri line "to whom it may concern, fuck you" while he was on the radio in his car, but that was "copyrighted"

max was asked if he thought that lando would have still won if there hadnt been a safety car. and if you watch one video on this whole damn post, let it please be this one:

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it was just. so nice to see him win. everyone was so happy to see him win. even fred vasseur, the ferrari team principal, was given a mclaren hat and a bottle of champagne to soak lando with:

not to mention that seemingly everyone went out with lando to party afterwards. there weren't too many videos that i could find of that, but from what i saw, pretty much everyone was there.

in everyones post race interviews they all seemed to really express that they were very very happy for lando. will buxton even went as far as to say “i haven’t seen max that happy all year and he’s usually winning”

george was asked in his interview "sorry to say, but you are no longer the last british race winner" and he absolutely clapped back with "thanks. thats a very negative way to say, 'how do you feel about lando winning the race?'" and then he later said "yeah obviously happy to see lando finally get a victory. its well deserved for him. hes been doing an amazing job for a long time so"

this was a common thread among the drivers (not taking peoples negative shit about it), because max also said "if i had to get beaten today im happy it was lando, he deserves it. he did a really good job, he was flying. so yeah. its always nice to see someone win his first grand prix. its always a special day."

and lewis as well said "massive congrats to lando. i won my first grand prix with mclaren, i know how special it is to get that first one, huge congratulations to him, he truly deserves it. and mclaren, wow, im really happy for them thats my old family."

even fred vasseur said "well i want to congratulate lando and mclaren i think that they deserve it and they did a great job and im happy for them"

carlos as well said "i think he deserves it for a long time now to win a race. hes a driver that for me is going to win many many races in f1 hes been driving at an exceptional level. today he was on the lucky side, as i said but i think luck comes to the people that deserve it. and today he definitely deserved to win."

and charles said "we all grew up with the same dream of being in formula 1 one say and its always emotional for me to see him obviously realizing one of his dreams and winning his first race in formula 1 its a very special moment for him."

and then danny rics said "yeah proud to see him get his first win obviously saw his talent and ability and yeah kinda felt like it was going to happen sooner or later. and yeah really happy for him to have a day like this"

and then, pretty much every person ever made a post or commented on his congratulating lando:

oscar piastri: "well done man" carlos sainz: "CONGRATS CABRON!" lewis hamilton:"WELL DONE" alex albon: "congrats!!!" george russell: "it was always whe, not if, mate. congrats you deserve it" max verstappen: "very happy for lando norris, congrats mate!" daniel ricciardo: "and not sure if he is still alive today but very happy for lando norris on his first win" fernando Alonso: "Bravoooooo" martin garrix: "LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" max fewtrell: "So proud brother 🧡" pato oward: "GUEYYYY!!!!!! 🚀🚀" antonio giovinazzi: "Bravo Lando ! 🙌💪🏻" Heineken: "What a race!!! 👏👏👏" hollister: "🙌🔥👏 YOU DID THAT"

landos initial celebration post, by the way, was a bunch of funny and kind of terrible selfies of him with his trophy with the caption:

WWE FUCKIJG DID IT. P1 🏆

a few days later, when he was no longer hungover he made an instagram story that said

"genuinely had the most insane couple days of my life. still dont know what to say but this was a dream since i was a kid. i literally havent stopped smiling since lap 33. so much hard work to achieve this and it all finally paid off the support from my team, the mclaren papaya fans, other drivers and so so many more. ive appreciated every single bit of it. love you all. and after all this...were just getting started... and yes...still smiling"

lewis hamiltons dad even texted landos dad congratulating him!

and interestingly enough, they interviewed lando's race engineer, will. who said that the upgrade "package should favor other circuits more than miami."

so do we actually have a proper championship battle on our hands? will it just be a max sweep from here on out? whos to say. we dont know.

but what we do know, according to martin brundle, is that "the secret to beating max verstappen is injuring yourself right before the race: "we realize now the secret to beating max verstappen, remove an appendix, do an injury to your nose, some sort of operation or injury is the way now to beat max verstappen in formula 1."

and most heartwarmingly, nico rosberg seemingly predicted this. if you all recall, two weeks ago at the chinese gp, he told lando this:

"we have a race the two of us because youre at 109 and i won then i was at 111 (races) my first race so were close. your time is coming. maybe next race cause you got upgrades coming in miami! so it could be good."

and then lando won his 110th, beating nico out by one race and jenson button by four. and both of them are world champions. nico finally figured out how to use his witchcraft for good.

will buxton wrote an article for f1 about the phenomenon of lando no wins and he concluded it with this:

The universal outpouring of joy in his victory tells you another side to him. Its rare in the highly competitive world of Formula 1 to make many true friends. To a man, I can’t think of a driver who wasn’t delighted for him in Miami. I haven’t seen Max Verstappen as happy all year, and he’s won pretty much everything. That affection is real. The friendships are true. And as he brought his car to the pits, after acknowledging those who try to drag him down, he spoke words for the truly private man. For his parents and his grandmother. The part of his life he keeps closest and most guarded. For his entire Formula 1 career, he’s had to be what people expect of him. Carry the weight of manifesting the legend of the version of himself he’d always portrayed himself as being. As he grew from teenager into adulthood, an ever growing fanbase of millions expected him perhaps never to change and to always stay the same. On Sunday he received the only reply he’s ever sought. Validation. A Grand Prix winner. Just as he always knew he would and could be. What stands before him now is a level of freedom he has never known, to truly embrace the destiny that stands before him. Beyond the memes, the engagement, the lifetime lived in the spotlight of social media stardom, the witty quips and the potential to be the perfect media personality, there has always existed the hunger of the competitor. The desire to be the best. To win it all. The posts, the stories, the reels. They can write themselves now. The man, not the meme. Lando “No Wins,” no more.

thanks for reading and waiting for the update of this monstrosity. thank you for continuing to read this insane post. ill see you all in imola! o7

Sorry i tried to scroll past but, i know nothing about f1 other than max verstappen is fast, my dad doesnt like lewis hamilton, fast car goes in a loop and sometimes expodes. Could you give me a crash course in f1 drama? Im very intrigued. Whats the tea as it were?

a terribly loaded question, but i will do my best. i’ve talked about some of the drama before like the red bull second seat and the chronicles of haas but allow me to briefly try my hand at explaining the nightmare that is the upcoming silly season

under the cut we go

silly season is when the drivers go through contract renewals, extensions and switches. usually it’s confined to the first half of the season (march-july) but it has been known to extend all the way to the last race of the season and they like to switch people around at random sometimes. driver contracts are complex, there’s a lot of money involved and basically You Are The Face Of The Team so if you have a shit season then you make the team look bad. but at the same time you could have a shit season because you have a shit car. it’s sticky stuff.

so. there are only twenty seats in formula 1. 10 teams. each team gets two drivers. (there’s also reserve drivers but we’re not going to get into that). who ends up with a contract is largely up to the teams, they can pull the contract out from under people they can also cut you mid season. they’ve done it before.

of the 20 drivers on the grid, 14 of them have contracts expiring at the end of the year. yes. 14. you see how this could get complicated.

so let’s meet the teams.

red bull racing. they came first this year (and last year) in the championship. like aggressively first. like they won the championship by over 350 points. they are definitely the team to beat. but if you end up with a seat at red bull, you do have to deal with max verstappen being your teammate and he won all but three of the races last year. he’s the golden boy. red bull are also notoriously silly when it comes to contracts and famously swap people mid season who aren’t performing.

mercedes. merc is home to 7 time world champion lewis hamilton and they have won the championship a great many times, though not since 2021. they are kind of in their flop arc and their car the last 2 years has been pretty garbage, but they have still made it work because they were able to come in second last year.

ferrari. god help the poor little meow meows with a ferrari contract. ferrari is a notoriously great team and they’re trying to get back to the top again but their strategy every single time has fallen short. to the point where their drivers are the ones doing the strategy in their cars while driving. they came in third last year and have been decently consistent at getting first in qualifying and then getting beat by max verstappen on race day.

mclaren. they’ve definitely worked their way up over recent years. they ended fourth last year and have had some championship wins before but not nearly as many as say merc and ferrari. their team ceo (owner? director?) is a little interesting and their car started out a pile of flaming hot garbage at the beginning of the year but they did manage to get their shit together.

aston martin. they are owned by canadian billionaire lawrence stroll, father of lance stroll (one of the drivers for the team). they’ve undergone several name changes over the recent years (force india, racing point, etc). they positively slayed at the start of the season and then one day they sucked. they finished fifth in the championship.

alpine. the frenchest french team. they’re (i think?) still partially owned by the french government. both of their drivers are french. (their drivers also hate eachother but we’ll get to that. just know they’re in the middle of a modern french civil war). they had the opportunity to have a good rookie driver (oscar piastri) this past year but in a thrilling twitter battle, he publically flamed the shit out of them and went to mclaren instead (and slayed). they're usually solidly middle of the pack. they ended sixth in the championship.

williams. williams has been one of the back of the grid teams for the last many years but they have finally started to get their shit together and don’t quite suck as much as they used to. all of the points this year were scored by only one driver though (except one but we’ll get there). they came in seventh.

alpha tauri. they are the sister team of red bull. so technically redbull owns both teams (meaning they can swap drivers between teams. they like doing this.) they’ve just kind of been There for awhile but they did slay towards the end of the season when one of their drivers led the race for several laps. basically tho, this team is the gateway to redbull. they came in eighth.

alpha romeo. recently renamed to stake f1 team (but sometimes they are going to be called kick sauber. this is a whole other drama post and i’m not getting into it). they’re also just kind of there. generally unproblematic. seems that really great drivers who get ixed out of a contract for a younger driver end up here or young drivers who are in their early years are here before they go to a better team. they ended ninth this year.

haas. oh haas. goofy team. they suck. point blank they suck. they keep loosing sponsors because they suck, they don’t win ever (one time they came first in qualifying last year). they cursed themselves in australia in 2018 by not tightening their tires and its been downhill ever since. they came 10th. their team principle got let go (fired?) who’s to say today.

so those are the teams. it is important to note that:

-there is a cost cap. each team is allowed to spend no more than 135m per year.

-not all cars are equal. some things are standard. they all undergo the same testing. but the cars are all very different. so you can be a good driver but stuck in a shitty car. which makes it impressive if you are doing well in a shitty car.

let’s meet our drivers!!!

starting with the guys who’s contract is not ending in 2024:

max verstappen. 3 time world champion. 26 years old. general beast on the track. he dominated the whole season. he’s currently racing for red bull and has a contract with them through 2028.

lewis hamilton. 7 time world champion. 39 years old. he drives for mercedes. he will not leave mercedes until he retires. he really really wants to win an 8th world championship and is willing to stick it out a few more years as long as merc still believes in him. his contract expires in 2025.

george russell. the other merc driver. 26 years old. hes aggressively british and says thinks like blimey unironically. walking meme. got his merc seat in 2022 right when they entered their flop arc by getting his tractor of a williams to finish second in qualifying in the middle of a rainstorm. his contract expires in 2025.

lando norris. mclaren driver. 24 years old. he has notably never won a race in his five years of formula one (mostly because right when his car finally was good enough max verstappen was 20 seconds ahead of anyone) but he is regarded as Very Good. he has only ever driven for mclaren. and even though there is another year left on his contract there is mass speculation that he will not renew his contract with mclaren after it expires and he may move up to one of the top teams (red bull, merc, ferrari) (tho i think he doesnt hate himself quite enough to go to ferrari). his contract expires in 2025.

oscar piastri. the other mclaren driver. 22 years old. this was his rookie season and he positively slayed. like people compared his rookie season to lewis hamiltons rookie season. he also had the positively funniest start to his rookie year because alpine announced that he would be driving for them (he had been their reserve driver and in the alpine academy) and he posted a tweet that basically said yeah thats false i never singed anything with you and im going to race with mclaren instead (he dodged a bullet) and then alpine tried and failed to sue him for $4m USD. he signed a contract extension with mclaren this year and his contract expires in 2026.

lance stroll. aston martin driver and son of the aston martin owner. hes doing ok, tho there was conspiracy that he wanted to quit and have a tennis career awhile ago. but basically since his dad owns the team it seems that hes guaranteed a seat for as long as he wants one.

so now. moving onto the good shit. the people who have contracts expiring in 2024. hold onto your hats people.

charles leclerc. (everyones favorite slutty little soup can). 26 years old. he is currently at ferrari and he has been since 2019. notably, he was given the longest contract in the history of ferrari after a stellar rookie season at sauber (renamed to alpha romeo, renamed to stake f1) where he got the tractor of a car consistently into the points. having the longest contract in the history of ferrari was a flex at the time, but now its likely how he will introduce himself at therapy sessions. ferrari have fucked this man left right and center up the ass with a plastic lunchroom spork. hes talented, he can drive, and he can drive well. but the strategy that ferrari has absolutely sucks. either something is wrong with the car (see him blowing out his gear box on the formation lap in monaco, his car completely crapping out and spinning into the barrier in brazil before the race even started) or they fuck up his pit stops or put him on the wrong tires and honestly its just frustrating. but will he leave??? likely not. you'd have to pry ferrari out of his cold dead hands and at this rate that might be where this is headed though there has been some minor speculation of him going to another team like merc or red bull, but merc doesnt have any open seats and red bull is a whole other dumpster fire of drama. ferrari are going to have to pay him a boatload of money to make him stay.

carlos sainz. the smooth operator. 29 years old. ferrari driver. previously carlos was at toro rosso (renamed to alpha tauri), renault (renamed to alpine), and mclaren before signing with ferrari. he has been at ferrari since 2021 and has voiced that he would like to stay with them for however long he can. there is speculation that lando might replace him at ferrari (but landos contract is not up until 2025) and there is also some speculation that alex albon might replace him. while charles is clearly the golden boy at ferrari, carlos is slightly slower but also definitely consistent. he was THE ONLY non red bull driver to win a race this past year, in Singapore after max verstappedn was knocked out of qualifying by alpha tauri reserve driver liam lawson (more on him later) and because he basically came up with his own strategy in the car while he was driving.

sergio perez. aka checo. red bull driver. 33 years old. and oh boy here's where we open the can of worms. checo was previously at racing point (renamed aston martin) and it was very near the end of the 2020 (?) season and he was out of a contract. he had a bonkers race where he was knocked to the back of the grid and then overtook everyone and somehow ended up winning (there is more to that story but just trust me) and christian horner, red bull team principle, mr ginger spice and definite disney villain called him and said congrats sir you have a seat at red bull! well. fast forward. hes been causing problems. problems as in crashing a lot, generally not doing great and pissing the crap out of red bull. it is basically guaranteed at this point that he will not be getting a contract extension. there was actually talk this year of him losing his seat mid season to one of the alpha tauri drivers, because remember, red bull owns both teams and they can switch them whenever they want to (and they have!) but ultimately this did not happen. even though checo has a seat at red bull until the end of 2024, its mass speculated that he is going to get switched with an alpha tauri driver, probably daniel ricciardo (more on him shortly) mid season because there is a speculated clause in daniels contract that says that if checo isn't performing well in the first few races daniel is getting his seat.

daniel ricciardo. 34 years old. alpha tauri driver. man oh man what a guy. outside of being the prankster of the paddock, he has one of the most batshit careers of anyone currently on the grid. he started out at red bull and was showing real talent and skill and was on track to win things (and was!) and was there until the end of 2018 when max verstappen (his teammate) started getting preferential treatment and also red bull started having a lot of problems with their engines (which were being outsourced from Renault (now alpine) and another team on the grid) and well very very long story short he made the surprise move of the century and decided to sign with Renault (which makes no sense they're the one with the engine problems) and was there for 2 years before moving again to mclaren where he was reportedly not treated very well and had a hard time driving the car so they mutually ended his contract with them early and he basically retired at the end of the 2022 season and became a red bull reserve driver. then halfway through the 2023 season alpha tauri ixed one of their drivers, nyck de vries, because he wasnt doing well and promoted daniel back up to a full time driver at alpha tauri (which we know is only a step down from red bull) but then he broke his hand in a crash in zanvort (?) and then he was replaced for a few races by formula 2 driver liam lawson (who we will also talk about) and then he came back to finish out the season in alpha tauri after he was cleared. daniel has admitted openly that he never should have left red bull and he was given bad advice to do so. hes towards the end of his career at this point and its well known that he Really Really wants to finish out his career at red bull again. he and max have already been teammates before and they do work well together and daniel is great driver (see his comeback in texas (or maybe it was brazil?) this year). so. Pretty Sure that daniels going to get either an extension at alpha tauri or go up to red bull. thats what we all want. get this man in a red bull we need him there biblically.

liam lawson. now technically liam is not actually a formula 1 driver. hes a formula 2 driver, but he was daniels replacement for five races and there has been some speculation and some confirmed news about him so hes getting included. when he was racing for f1 he was at alpha tauri. hes 21 and looks like he belongs in the movie grease. no one was expecting him to slay in formula 1 and he positively knocked everyones socks off. the scene: Singapore. which, if you'll recall, is the one race that a not red bull driver won. this was largely because liam lawson slayed the absolute game in qualifying. the qualifying part of racing determines what order the cars start in on the grid for the race and theres three parts, the first two parts the bottom 5 drivers each time get knocked out and then the top 10 complete for the last 10 spots. liam lawson knocked BOTH max verstappen and checo perez out of qualifying in the second round by going very slightly faster than them, effectively fucking up red bulls race and allowing carlos to win. and he also scored points in that race, which no one was expecting. now thats all fine and dandy, but here's the speculation: hemlut marko (im pretty sure) (who is somehow decently involved in the decision making at red bull though i couldn't tell you how) said that he thinks that liam lawson will be in an f1 seat no later than 2025. meaning that he will probably get offered a contract this year. and hes already raced for alpha tauri. red bull have sunk a good amount of money into him. they clearly want him. so if he gets offered an alpha tauri seat in 2025, that means theres a good chance danny rics is going to red bull. do you SEE how the plot here is THICKENED

yuki tsunoda. age 23. currently at alpha tauri. and fun fact, the only alpha tauri driver to race there the whole year. he had three separate team mates. he is slaying and hes often slept on. he has a bit of a temper and likes to shout on the radio and also hates working out (they had to force him to move to italy or something to work out, long story) but hes been kinda killing it. he led several laps in the abu dhabi race this year and hes decently consistent. people think theres possibility that he could get moved up to red bull on account of the fact that he is younger than daniel and clearly has more years in him,, but there is also possibility that he might not because red bull like to make stupid decisions. and if he doesnt get moved up to rebel, will he stay with alpha tauri? we don't know.

alex albon. age 27. currently a williams driver. alex albon is another one with a batshit career. he started out his rookie year in 2019 at alpha tauri then got moved up to red bull halfway through the year when red bull decided that pierre gasley wasnt doing a good enough job (more on him later) and stayed with red bull for a solid year and a half until he lost his seat in 2021 to checo. he has been with williams for the last two years and is basically carrying the team. like. williams as a team scored 28 points this year. and alex albon scored 27 of those 28 points. and as we know, williams is still kind of in their shit arc (though they are doing much better. they didnt score any points for a solid 2 (?) years. so this is an improvement.) and if you can get a shit car to perform you catch the eye of bigger teams. now, alex has already been a red bull driver. and he was on the cusp of podiuming two separate times when lewis hamilton ran into him. this (among a few other things) basically killed his chances at getting resigned at red bull because he wasnt ""performing"" and red bull are bitches who love to win. but some people think that red bull should give him another shot. like daniel, hes already been max's teammate and he can definitely drive. but theres also talk he might go to ferrari because ferrari think that he might compliment charles's driving style (or something). but going to ferrari at this point is kind of suicide. so.

logan sergeant. age 23. the only american on the grid. the other williams driver. he just finished his rookie year. he scored a grand total of one single point this season, in texas, and it was because charles leclerc and lewis hamilton both got disqualified because the floor of their car had more wear (by literally less than millimeters) than it was allowed to, bumping him up from 12th to 10th. he has never done better than alex albon. he was also the very last driver to get a contract for 2024, with williams waiting until i think december of 2023 to announce his contract extension. clearly, hes on thin ice. but people have also said that he needs time to get used to formula 1 (other people have pointed out that oscar piastri slayed his rookie season this year and this statement about needing time is largely false). where logan ends up next year though will largely depend on how well the 2024 season goes for him.

fernando alonso. 42 years old. many people like to point out that oscar piastri is actually younger than fernando's racing career. he won tiktok creator of the year (somehow) and is also a 2 time world champion. he retired a few years ago, just to show back up again and slay. during the first half of the season when aston martin had a zoom zoom car he killed it, and then they had problems on top of problems and he didnt do well. except for that one race in brazil where he came in third, beating checo by literally .05 seconds. he hasn't really made any hints about retiring a second time and he is kind of carrying aston Martin right now (he scored 205 points this season, coming in 4th and tying in points with charles leclerc, lance stroll only scored 74 points this year.) and they did have their best year yet this year. (though they are relatively new).

pierre gasley. 27 years old. french. drives for alpine. the french team. previously he raced with toro rosso (now alpha tauri), then got promoted to a red bull driver in 2019, then halfway through the season they decided he wasnt doing a good enough job and he got demoted back down to alpha tauri. then he won a race with alpha tauri just to stick it to red bull. after the great oscar piastri contract twitter war, he was signed as alpines second driver, with Esteban ocon being the other driver (more on him soon). estie bestie and pierre (both french) were childhood friends and now hate each other for unknown reasons and basically feuded on the track for most of the season. french civil war at alpine. he scored 62 points in 2023 and came in 11th. not really sure where he will end up, it is possible that he will stick it out at alpine.

esteban ocon. 27 years old. also french. currently driving for alpine. another one with a silly bonkers career. he started out at force india and had a baller few seasons there but his teammate at the time was checo, and checo didnt really cooperate with him too much and caused some drama that cost estie bestie some places and some points. max verstappen also beat him up in the garage once. thats not really relevant but it did happen. anyway, after the owner of force india was arrested for .... i don't remember what maybe it was embezzlement or bankruptcy or something money related, the team was backed by lawrence stroll and became racing point. but all of that happened mid season and lawrence was basically like look ill back you guys for now but next year my son gets a seat (lance) so one of you two (checo and estie bestie) have to go. and ultimately they let estie bestie go even though he was more consistent because checo had more sponsors and they needed money. so he was out of formula 1 for a few years (but was a merc reserve driver) and then went to Renault, which then became alpine. he did come in 12th though overall this season, just behind pierre. so. will alpine keep both him and pierre and keep the civil war going? whos to say.

nico hulkenberg. 36 years old. haas driver. in his 200+ f1 races he has never been on the podium and he really really wants to be on the podium. unfortunately this will never happen in a haas because haas fucking sucks. and everyone knows it. he is getting towards the end of his career though. though! stake f1 will become the mario Andretti and audi team in 2026 (don't question it) and they have supposedly voiced interest in nico. so we will see if he hangs on that long to end up at audi. for now tough, hes definitely hating it at haas. though, haas are going to have a different team principle next year so maybe that will change things. i have a sneaky feeling through that haas will probably end up with another 2 rookie drivers because everyone else is smart enough to not race for them.

kevin magnussen. 31 years old. haas driver. hes another deeply interesting character. he has had one podium. in his rookie season. in his first race. and none since. kevin started at haas in 2017 and then left at then end of 2020 when he basically got kicked off because the team needed money and they wanted to bring in drivers with more sponsorships. these drivers were mick schumacher and nikita mazepin. so kevin basically was forced to retire after the 2020 season. this went decently well for haas. until russia invaded ukraine right before the start of the 2022 season and, well, nikita was Russian and it was never distinctly proven that his dads company (who was sponsoring the team) wasnt also funding the invasion. so nikita got fired and they were literally like 2 weeks out from the start of the season, down a driver. who are you gonna call? kevin magnussen! and hes been back ever since. but hes clearly getting annoyed with haas. there was one great clip from this year where his car caught on fire and he kind of just stared into to, clearly hoping it would burn for a long time. so the likelihood of him extending his contract is looking slim.

valtteri bottas. 34 years old. currently a driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo, kick sauber, whatever you wanna call it). previously, he was a mercedes driver and notoriously helped lewis hamilton win a great many championships, until he lost his seat to george russell in 2022. there was a rather awkward part of the 2021 season where valtteri knew that he was out of a merc seat the following year and kind of just chose violence. he slayed. then he went to alpha romeo, grew a mullet and made a calendar of his ass. quite the glow up if you ask me. hes also very interested in cycling. honestly though, i have my own personal speculation that hes going to retire at the end of this year.

zhou guanyu. 24 years old. driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo/kick sauber, etc etc). hes doing alright. he just finished his second season, in his first season he was majorly out qualified by valtteri but this past season he managed to out qualify him a good 6 times. which is decently good for the tractor of a car hes driving. its possible that he could get a contract extension, but like logan, its probably going to depend on how the 2024 season goes for him.

and thats all the drivers. theres also a few others i didnt talk about, like some other f2 drivers who want seats and mick schumacher, who is currently a merc reserve driver, all of which could be contenders for f1 seats. but one things for sure. this is going to be the silliest fucking silly season.

feel free to add on and peer review me

#not a tag #from saph #saph explains silly season 2024 #formula 1 #f1 #miami gp 2024 #lando norris #AHHH #im so glad im done with this one #it took so fucking long i really really hope everything's in here #thank fucking GOD its been a quiet off week #let me know what you think aaa #tumblr bbg you better let me post this #Youtube

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zukka-pegged-by-suki · 4 years ago

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ok so guys, remember that “my father always says azula was born lucky, i was lucky to be born” line? yeah, now explain to me why tf are we even considering OZAIs words?!?! like some people use this line as an argument against azula when its literally what OZAI SAID?!?!!?!!?!

Zuko’s good and bad luck, as well as Azulas. Was either of them lucky? Let’s see.

Please read all of it before drawing assumptions.

Zuko’s luck:

- has mums care and affection

- has irohs care and affection

- can get away with being a softie as a child, because he may get disregarded and called weak but lets be honest, azula wouldnt have been able to get away with his behavior because she didn’t have firstborn privilege (which is a thing while azulon lived) or mummy’s protection like he did.

before anyone comes at me i’ll expand a bit on the firstborn privilege. as first born he was instantly considered more important by the masses since birth, that might’ve changed later but before neither could bend that much was still a fact. which means azula wouldn’t really have any recognition for anything unless she surpassed him in every way, which is what became her goal especially when ozai became the one who spent more time with her rather than ursa, anyways lets continue.

- constantly receiving second chances; iroh, the gaang minus katara, katara, azula (even if not from the “good” side), ozai (no matter the intentions, this much is true), iroh again, mai, the entire fckng world.

- he had a guide and help throughout his long healing and learning process.

Zuko’s bad luck:

- Unloving father

- Mummy disappears

- Doesn’t train that hard and surprise surprise, is worse than azula. Because if he had really trained hard, he would’ve at least known the formations wether he was able to firebend with them or not, but he was just clearly trying to copycat azula while tripping over because he didn’t have that much experience doing it. This is something no one can change my mind about. How tf did he expect to excel if he didn’t train enough. This wasnt about luck but hard work which he didn’t put in, too busy playing with mum and the little turtleducks. And I do not hate Zuko, I really love him but this is just a fact and he’s too fixed on blaming everyone else for his own mistakes and problems (esp Azula). Like, im sorry to break it out to you honey, but Ozai hates you because he’s an asshole, and that’s his own fault, not Azula’s.

- Scar and exile time, we all know this.

- Ugly haircut because of dishonor

- Finally achieving his goal of regaining his “honor” but realizing it wasn’t what he wanted only when he was already at the Fire Nation palace having all the glory from Aang’s presumed death.

- Katara’s distrust after his betrayal (bc who would’ve expected that to happen /s)

- Getting zapped in an attempt to save Katara.

I mean except for the things related to Ozai, most of this was all consequences from his own actions.

And I’m sorry but I don’t understand the fixation he has with having Ozai’s love. Unlike Azula, he has had his mother’s love and his uncle’s love. He knows what real love looks like and he has never really seen anything that could imply Ozai likes him, while he has Iroh treating him like he’s his actual father.

I’m not invalidating his traumas in any way and terrible things did happen to him, but why is he so obsessed with Ozai and why would he choose him over Iroh, he’s 16 and has been with Iroh since age 13, he was also with Ursa for the majority of his childhood, make it make sense.

Azula’s luck:

- Uh she was born rlly smart i guess

- She had some natural talent and knew to train hard to shape it to perfection, as well as studying a lot about war tactics and shit ig

- Ty Lee and Mai loved her and she loved them back

I mean as far as luck goes, that’s it. Everything else was achieved on her own merit and even if she had no scar, her traumas are just as valid as Zuko’s, neither is worse or better, we do not compare traumas in this house and they were both terrible.

Azula’s bad luck:

- Bad mother (i’ll make a post on why Ursa sucks)

- No second chances

- Mum never said goodbye just like she never said “i love you” lol, except in that one hallucination

- Never has had any real help to heal (i’ll make a post on why the asylum was a trash idea that would’ve never worked)

- Can’t fully trust anyone, not even herself, or will be punished for it

- The only people who loved her, Mai and Ty Lee, “betraying” her (check out my post on that, its under #jinta’s commentary)

- Ozai psychologically abusing her all her life

- Some characters may have been lonely, but she was genuinely absolutely alone. And she knew it.

- Hurt and self-hatred channeled through anger like Zuko did sometimes when he had that shame shave ponytail, but with her, its all the time.

- Even his abuser abandons her

- Everyone hates her but forgives Zuko, Mai and Ty Lee. And it’s so annoying because all Mailee did that Azula didn’t was swap sides almost at the end, if the excuse is that they were being manipulated well Ozai was manipulating Azula so what’s the excuse.

- Is always believed to be lying but usually isn’t (check out my azula always lies post)

- Has a mental breakdown and nobody gives a shit?! Like the first think Zuko thought of was “ooh she’s slipping lemme take advantage of that”

- Has nothing and no one, yay

- Gets thrown into a stupid asylum but not rlly because there are no comics in ba sing se

While Zuko had Ursa and Iroh to protect him and stuff, she was victim of Ozai’s manipulation and psychological abuse all her life.

So when we know Ozai said she was lucky, why tf is anyone taking his word for it??!

Plus when Zuko was born they didn’t know how he would be and Azula didn’t exist so there was no way he could’ve been lucky to be born.

Zuko was very unlucky, but he was also lucky.

Azula was just unlucky.

edit: as bellatrixobsessed1 said, azula had the illusion of luck.

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talas-starlight · 4 years ago

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Lover - Percy Jackson x Fem!reader

SUMMARY: You’ve crushed on Percy for years, him on the other hand? It’s more of a recent development. That doesn’t mean he likes you any less.

(Older Percy & reader - they're like 21) ALSO idk perfectly what happens in trials of apollo so let’s just ✨ignore that ✨ & this isn’t sexual despite what the title may suggest

WORD COUNT: 2.7k

A/N: hi friends this is for @fromthewatertribe ‘s 1k follower event!! Im sure most of you have but if not definitely check out their work!! Its soooo good I promises and ugh their Leo fic?! *chefs kiss* anyway idk if this is any good oop I tried

PROMPTS USED: 9 & 11. (they’re bolded)

WARNINGS: swearing, mentions of ptsd & anxiety, kissing stuff lol ish eh idk, mentions of percabeth breakup?? Does that count?

MASTERLIST: here!

An obnoxiously red and orange light filters into the motel room, even with the old and tattered curtains closed, the motels’ sign conquers its way through the fabric. Sighing you flop yourself on the faded, probably twenty-year-old bed. Nose scrunching as some dust raises into the air, consequently letting out a sneeze.

“Bless you.”

“Did you just bless yourself?”

You winced at the reminder someone else was in the room, exhausted after the two-day travel to a motel room in the middle of whoop. “Yeah…”

“You really are something, aren’t you?” At the calm amusement evident in his tone, your heart rate began to slow down. He didn’t think you were crazy.

You let out a breathy laugh. Wow, I wonder how those stains got on the ceiling? Lava monster perhaps? Are those even a thing? Probably.

“Yeah… well, someone has to Jackson.” You glance towards him, he’s sitting at the small, poor excuse of a dining table. Heart rate picking up again as he gives you a small smile, already having his eyes on you this entire time.

“If I don’t, who will?” you continue.

“Touché. In that case, I’ll do the blessing from now on; you deserve a break.” Shooting you a wink. Instantly feeling flustered at his action, you fight the urge to cover your face with your hands.

Oh, Percy, if only you knew you’ve already been blessing me for the past six years.

“Even say…. If we’re in a battle?” you muse.

He gets up from the table and walks towards you. Once he reaches your side of the queen bed, he kneels, grabbing the hand closest to him, while putting his other on top of his heart. “Oh, y/n l/n, even with my dying breath.”

With that, you burst into a fit of laughter. This boy and his sarcasm.

You play along. “Hmmm what a great tale that will be. The one and only, Perseus Jackson, spending his final breath on sweet old y/n l/n. How dare you burden me with such a legacy to live up to! They’ll think I’m your lover, you know. Demigods all around the world will come searching for me, just to gawk at the beauty that stole your heart.”

At this point, Percy has fallen from his kneeling position, completely lying on the ground, overcome with laughter.

“This isn’t funny, Percy! How am I supposed to live with the guilt of knowing I don’t live up to their expectations?! I’m hardly a warrior either, oh the disappointment.”

Gasping for breath, he manages to find his words, “Don’t stress it y/n, you’re plenty beautiful. I just know they’ll all be stunned by your beauty. Don’t sell yourself short… trust me, once they see you, they’ll be envious that my lover was so enraptured by me that you’ll never be able to love again.”

Now it was your turn to laugh. Would that be so bad?

Gasping for breath, eventually, both of your laughs die down, leaving you both breathing heavily. “C’mon Percy, let’s get some sleep. Its going to be a long week of scouting for demigods if we’re tired.”

As Percy nods, silently getting up to go to the bathroom to change, but he can’t help but think to himself that he wouldn’t mind if he was stuck in the middle of nowhere with you. No matter how long.

It had been three days since you and Percy arrived in the town you continuously fail to remember the name of. It wasn’t the only thing you were failing at doing either, because it seemed that for some unknown reason, the school that was supposed to arrive here for their camping trip still hadn’t shown up.

“We should send an Iris message to camp. It doesn’t look like they’re showing up any time soon, and by the looks of things, we’re going to need to have them send someone for more supplies.”

Percy sighed, looking out the window. Was this the opportunity he was looking for? Maybe… he knew he’d be a stupid fool to pass it up. Swept up in his new thoughts, he never replied. “Percy?”

Without even looking at you, he nodded, turning to go to the bathroom, “Yeah sure, I’ll go into the bathroom and make the call.”

Humming in acknowledgement as he left the room, you couldn’t help but stare at the spot he was previously standing in from your position on the edge of the bed. He doesn’t look too good.

For such a great hero, you wondered if this quest was doing him any good. After the first day of scouting the campsite, it was obvious he was already antsy to get home. It seemed no matter how light you tried to keep the atmosphere; it was like something was weighing on his mind. Mostly when you were both in the motel room together, you supposed it was because he barely went on quests nowadays. Understandably so, after all, who could blame him for wanting a break and spend time with his family? This made you feel immensely guilty since you could never give him words of truly understanding what he’s gone through. You’d arrived at camp a few days before him, yet over the years you were never sent onto a major quest. It upset you greatly at first, but you grew to appreciate your time at camp.

Before your mind could delve further into its guilt and self-pity, Percy re-entered the room, sitting next to you with a huff. “It’s all good. They’re going to send Leo with some extra supplies, and he’ll help us for the rest of this quest.”

Accidentally getting swept up in how pretty his eyes were, you tensed up, realising he was staring at you expectantly. Quickly nodding and clearing your throat you looked down to your lap, “ahh, okay that sounds good. I guess we’ll have time to sightsee or something…”

Sightsee? Really y/n? There’s nothing in this stupid town!

An awkward silence filled the room. Due to your previous thoughts, you were unsure how to proceed. This was the first time you were alone with him and had nothing else better to do.

Percy on the other hand, found that the obvious swooning look in your eyes was his green light. “Uhhh actually y/n?”

Oh, please don’t ask me why I basically just drooled all over you for NO FUCKING REASON. Snapping your head back up to look at him, you desperately tried to ignore the pounding in your chest that managed to find its way into your ears, “yeah?”

“There’s something I want to ask you.”

Holy shit he knows, doesn’t he? He knows I’ve liked him this entire time, and he’s going to reject me even though I never even said anything!

“I uhm… look I know we’re kind of on a small quest and all but technically we ARE waiting for Leo and the school to arrive before we continue… and you know we kind of have like at least a day or two until then so I was just wondering…”

“Yeah, Percy? You can just say it, you know; I really don’t mind.” I do mind, but please get this over with before I cry. With your heart rate increasing at an alarming rate and face heating up so much, you wanted Zeus to blast you right then and there.

Percy felt like he was about to puke, he’d never felt this nervous before. Yeah, he had his moments growing up with Annabeth, after all, she was his first girlfriend, but this was different. He wanted this to be different. Sure, he never regretted their relationship, and yes, he knew he’d always remember everything they went through- what he went through but… he wanted a clean slate. He desperately just wanted nothing more than to know that there was at least one person in his life that wasn’t constantly fighting for their lives—someone who didn’t have to live with as much trauma as him.

“W- would you maybe... Gods, do you want to have dinner tomorrow night? Maybe at the diner further into the town?”

HOLY FUCK.

He was interested and honestly, you were over the moon. Breathing out the breath you were holding in, you fail to hide the smile on your face, “yeah, I’d like that.”

His face instantly broke out into a wide smile matching yours. “Wait really?”

Unable to hold back a small giggle, you nodded, “yeah, Percy.”

Staring at yourself in the mirror, you admire the blue dress you found in a charity shop this morning while Percy was sleeping. I can’t believe this is happening.

If you had old even more awkward 15-year-old y/n that you were about to go on a date with the boy you admired from your table during meals (when he was there), you would’ve laughed. Mainly because at that point, he didn’t even know you existed, only having your first conversation during the battle of Manhattan when you were helping Will.

Okay… lets do this.

Walking out of the bathroom, Percy is already sitting on the bed in his usual t-shirt, jeans and converse waiting for you.

“Woah… You look uh-” Never finishing his statement, worry bubbled in your chest.

“Oh, uhm… I- I can change if you’d like?

Jumping up from his place on the bed, his head shook quickly. “NO! N-no don’t do that.”

“Ah uhm… okay? Sorry, it’s just I saw it in a store earlier and uhm… it looked nice, and I just thought that maybe it’d be cool to maybe put in a bit more effort? I mean… not that you don’t look good or anything! I love what you wear, you always look nice! but I don’t know… I don’t get to look nice much and… I just wanted it to be kinda special since we don’t get to… well our lives don’t really grant us these opportunities very often. Or at least for me anyway…”

“Hey, no, it’s okay! I totally get it… you look beautiful.” After hearing your small confession and thought to prepare for your date, his heart felt like it was melting. How could someone be so thoughtful when all he was doing was taking you to a rundown diner who probably only served mediocre burgers?

A small wave of guilt washed through him. Feeling like he would never be able to truly sweep you off your feet or give you that sweet, tooth-rotting love and affection, every day, just like you deserved. After everything, he knew he could try his best but even then, he’d never be able to hide the anxiety or PTSD he had acquired over the years.

You looked up to him with a smirk. “Glad to hear it, lover.”

Cheeks heating up at your comment, he laughed trying to play it off as cool as possible. Taking a step closer to you and flattening his shirt as if it would wipe away its wrinkles, he held out his arm. “Shall we, lover?”

Matching his level of fake sophistication, you linked your arm with his, “with pleasure.”

And with that, you both walked out of the motel, with hopeful spirits. To any onlooker, you both looked like normal young adults.

“Where the fuck are you?!” Percy’s voice boomed from his end of the phone, supposedly made without any monster risks.

You winced, slowly and cautiously walking your way out of the forest. The once clean dress was now covered in dirt and had few tears. It went perfectly with your dishevelled, twig and leaf infested hair.

“Space doesn’t really exist, so I’m nowhere. Life is built on social constructs and, since there’s no way to know if we’re really alive or if it’s just an illusion, I can’t be anywhere.”

“Y/n.”

Okay, he was concerned, and you couldn’t blame him. After all, how did you expect him to react after getting separated from you as you were chased into the woods by an Empousai after dinner?

Romance at its finest.

“Yeah, sorry, I got caught up, but I’ll be there soon.”

Ending the call, you couldn’t help but feel guilty as you replayed the events that just occurred in your head. The date was amazing. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but it was still sweet. Which led you both to go on one of those cliché night walks. That was nice too, until two Empousai came out of the forest and decided to attack you both.

Percy being…. Well Percy, he swiftly got out riptide and didn’t hesitate to defend the two of you. You, on the other hand, were completely caught off guard only just noticing as one of them turned their focus on you while Percy was distracted.

And what did you do like the perfectly trained demigod you were?

You ran like a headless chicken into the forest.

After a few minutes of running, they tackled you into the ground. Trying and failing failed to shove them off, you suddenly remembered the dagger you strapped to your thigh under your dress and stabbed them.

Clearly not your proudest moments.

Finally making it back to the room, you unlocked the door and let out a huff of relief. “Well… that date didn’t go as expected.”

Percy, took in your current state staring at you with wide eyes… but he didn’t say anything. Is he angry at me? Fuck now he’s going to call off whatever this is, all because I’m an incompetent idiot! I knew I should have tried harder in the sparring activities at camp.

Feeling highly intimidated under his intense stare, you began to play with the hem of your dress, voice going quiet. “Look I uh- I know it probably wasn’t the date you were hoping for but I uhm-“

Before you could even finish your poor excuses, your words are soon lost entirely. Percy stalked towards you with a determined look on his face. Reaching you, he firmly placed his hands on either side of your face, smashing his lips onto yours.

You let out a small, muffled squeak of surprise as your eyebrows shot up into Olympus. Yet unlike your fighting skills, this was something you managed to adapt to at a faster pace.

Eyes fluttering closed, you fisted his shirt, pulling him closer.

Please don’t let this be a dream.

Because Gods forbid if this your one chance, you weren’t letting this moment end that easily.

Moving your lips against his, the urgency he came onto you with slowly began to dissipate, feeling his soft, but slightly chapped lips move against yours. Deepening the kiss, you let go of his shirt, gliding your hands up his tense torso and along his strong arms, eventually placing your hands on his wrists that were on either side of your face. Applying a small amount of pressure to the inside of his wrists with your thumbs, his mind began to drift into a calming haze as you softly stroked them. It was almost as if you were able to brush away the worry that bubbled in him when he got back to the room, only to find you weren’t there. Yet here you were… safe.

It was intoxicating and calming having him so close to you, his entire being overcoming your senses to a point where you fought the urge to let out a small whimper when he pulled away.

Resting his forehead against yours, chest rising and falling heavily flushed against you; he continued to hold you in his warm embrace. “I wouldn’t have had it any other way.” He whispers, breath fanning against your face.

Because as much as Percy was afraid he’d let you down, he knew no matter what you were worth every single risk.

“…but I’m going to have to teach you a few things when we get back to camp. We can’t have my lover running away in battle all the time, how will I know if you sneeze?”

Letting out a snort, you playfully hit his chest. “Anything for you, lover.”

A soft smile graces his face as he looks at you adoringly as the word takes on a whole new meaning… because you were right. He’d do anything.

A/N: whelp! i hope you all liked it :)) its not perfect but oh well?

also i dont have a percy jackson taglist but i gotta tag the holy grail of fic writers for this fandon eep @cabinofimagines 🙈 🙈

Divider credit: @biskit-rising

#percy jackson #percy jackson x you #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson x y/n #pjo #pjo fandom #percy jackson imagine #percy jackson fic #percy jackson x fem!reader #annabeth #annabeth chase #leo valdez #heros of olympus #hoo #nina's 1k event #pjo x reader #hoo x reader #percy jackson fluff #percy jackson angst

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argumentl · 3 years ago

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The Freedom of Expression Ep 56 - Dir en grey live with audience scheduled! and, Thinking about the aftermath of inappropriate remarks.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe, Tasai, welcome. Um, I think it was two days ago, Dir en grey announced that we will do a live show.

T, J: *applause*

T: How long has it been?

K: Well, as for proper lives, its been since last year in February when we were on the European tour. We did do the no-audience lives since then, but as for lives with an audience, thats how long its been.

T: Its a big decision, isn't it?

J: Yeah, and people have been waiting, right?

K: Well, I think people will have a lot of opinions about it, and its a bit hard to say to people, 'Please come!'... Well, as for why we havn't been doing lives, of course its because of corona..there was a risk there. As for the live venues, within these restrictions we weren't sure whether we would be able to complete the type of show we wanted to do...Like, the audience can't use their voice etc. So I was a little concerned when I thought about that, but at the same time, it's strange to say 'it can't be helped', but I thought we could at least try it once. You know, like a live show within these restrictions. We might even get some new feeling or new atmosphere out of it that we've never had before. I mean, we might not, but like, rather than not doing it and worrying, we could just give it a try once, and it might even turn us in some new direction. Then after we do it, we can think about what to do next.

J: I see. Yeah, if you spend all your time thinking it over, nothing will happen, right?

K: Yeah. Well, its not bad to do that though, I just wonder whether we might be able to create a new kind of experience in this way. We won't know if we don't try..

Kami: Um, if you don't try, you won't be able to say what it was like, will you?

K: Well, yeah, thats right. I'd like to experience it.

T: Yeah, within the restrictions, see what type of performance you can create.

K: Well, and people are slowly beginning to restart this kind of thing.

Kami: Um, doesn't it kind of feel like having a school fieldtrip, but being sick so you couldn't go, and then afterwards feeling sad that you missed out?

T: Haha

K: No, its not like that.

T, J: Hahaha

J: Nearly, Kami.

T: Yeah, nearly.

Kami: I didn't get it.

J: Your example was very easy to understand, but it was wrong.

T, K: Haha

Kami: Ok.

K: Well, well, I mean, it wasn't the right example, but the feeling is similar I suppose.

Kami: Ah! See, it is similar! I was right!

J: Oh, Im sorry Kami.

T: Haha

K: So, we're gonna do it. So for anyone who wants to experience this, I'd like you to come and see us... Ok, well..

J: Yes, today's topic is...well, this topic is a little old already, its about Mori Yoshio and the Olympic committee. He has made a run of problematic comments like 'if there are a lot of women, the meetings will last longer', and 'famous people could carry the Olympic torch only through rice fields', and has been forced to resign. Well, this has been big news, but well, this program is about 'The Freedom of Expression', so from that perspective, could you not say that he just slipped up? He slipped up, but shouldn't he still have freedom of expression? Of course, I think these were careless remarks, uttered without a sense of responsibility, but whats the best way to deal with a situation like this? What about just telling the person in question to stop it? Is that enough? So, thats the theme today, in regards to freedom of expression, of course you are free to say what you want, but what should be done if what you say is thoughtless, or clearly at odds with the common view in society? Is it ok to just criticize the comments only? So its quite a serious topic about the freedom of expression today.

T: Well, as for me, if I had to say...I'd say im in the 'if it creates further discussion then its ok' camp. Um, he's a tv celeb now, but do you remember when Sugimura Taizō won his first election? He said, 'I want to go to the high-class restaurants', you know, like political meetings at high-class restaurants? And he was criticized a lot for that. But when I interviewed him in person, I asked him about how he had felt at that time, he said he was simply just curious about whether this type of thing really went on in the world of politics. It was a pretty innocent thing, but when he said it, he was called into question massively. Thats what he said when I asked him. So I don't really think we will make any progress in situations like this, if we don't stop and think about why a person might say things before we launch an attack.

J: I see. Kaoru, what do you think?

K: Nothings come out it in terms of making a bad thing better. I think its a good thing to start a discussion out of it afterwards.

J: Yeah

K: Of course if its wrong, its wrong, but it seems natural to ???*1

J: This all reminds me of this difficult word we hear in the media a lot, 'political correctness'. Like, being forced into the political medium ground, and if you ever make a small mistake with what you say, you'll be accussed of being wrong. People are scared of being targeted like this...Even when you see press conferences, people will only ever talk about thier own position, so as an observer, even press conferences get boring. I'd like people to speak their raw words more, I want to hear what they really think. But if they did, they would be accused of saying the wrong thing. Its like you said Kaoru, if their mistake was shared it might end up heading in a better direction, but if people just immediately and triumphantly scream, 'Thats wrong!', then I have a feeling its gonna carry on like this forever. Its important to think about whether the mistake can be repaired. Anyone makes mistakes. Whatever you say, it will be different from what some other people think. And rather than fixing the mistake, I think some people see it as a game of winning or losing.

K: You can't just say 'sorry', can you?

J: No, you can't. Why is that??

K: This type of person (*Mori*) can't say it for some reason.

J: Like, 'I'M SORRY, I'M REALLY SORRY FOR WHAT I SAID!!

K: ??*2

J: Then they would understand their mistake, and be able to fix it. I think that would be ok!

T: Yeah, we should give people a chance. If you don't point out their mistake, and let them say sorry..

J: Even though it would be good to create that kind of grown-up environment, with everyone on the attack so much these days, people are so cautious about what they say now, the press conferences are more like rituals. Its become a kind of never-ending ritualistic exchange.

K: If nothing is done, Mori will never learn, right?

J: Thats right.

K: If someone just tells him he needs to change his ideas, he can take that to heart..well, did he?

J: Haha, well, I don't know, when he's that old, I don't know. But I think he probably felt something, surely. Also, we ourselves are getting old, and when we get that old, some stuff that was correct for our generation will suddenly become wrong, right? We could say something, and people would be like, 'Eh?!', even though it was fine for our generation. We are bound to be caught up like this eventually. Honestly, there will be people who saw this press conference with Mori, who didn't realise what was wrong at first. You know, with Mori's remarks.

T: People from his generation may even sympathise with him, they might not understand.

J: Yes, yes, yes. But if it was made into a public discussion, they might start to understand the problem. There might be people in that generation who don't understand that saying this type of thing about women is complete prejudice.

T: But as you said Kaoru, when people get that old, the don't like saying sorry.

K: Ah, yeh.

T: So, I want people to be aware of the discussion that can happen after that.

J: It just makes me think eventually, we'll be in that generation. It will happen to us.

T: You might say this type of thing, Joe.

J: Yeah.

K: You already do, don't you?

J: Maybe. I might have harrased people without realising it. I might have said things to people which I thought would make them happy, but actually made them think I was really annoying.

K, T: Ah, yeah.

J: When you're in that kind of position with a huge public stage, you will suffer huge effects, but when you're in my kind of position, its not as decisive, so there is a possibility I'm also doing that. Its possible Im becoming like Mori.

T: Will your radio listerners be saying, 'Joe always says that kind of thing!'?

J: Yeah, now you mention it, Hiranabe was pretty bad. haha

T: Yeah, you could just write Hiranabe here instead of Mori, and it would fit. haha

J: Haha, he would definitely say that kind of thing. So, anyway, yeah, we have to be careful with this.

K: Well, even just discussing it like this is a good step.

J: It is, yes. Ah..Kami is quiet today.

Kami: Well, I thought this was pretty bad.

J: It was bad?　

Kami: Yeah, a long time ago I used to say things about women, and I got a fierce backlash, and realised I was wrong. Um, it was a road trip with a few adults to an onsen, we went in a few different cars. During the drive I was talking about how women always take ages in the toilet, and one of them said that she is actually really quick in the toilet.

J, T: Haha

Kami: It was possibly bad timing that she started to need the toilet just then. She said she'd be quick, so asked us to stop at the next convenience store, so we stopped at some place like that. And I was like, 'Eh?! Already?! You're back?!'. She was so fast! So after that, I repented, I realised it wasn't the same for everyone. Then I gave up the front passenger seat for her.

J: Hahaha

T: What kind of story is this?! Kami thinks the front passenger seat is some kind of treat?

Kami: Well, anyway, that happened to me. People usually have this image that women take a long time in the toilet, don't they?

J: Yeah.

T: Are they fixing their make-up and stuff?

J: Some might be, yeah.

K: Well, men also have the stand-up option, right?

Kami: I realised at that time that it all depends on the person.

J: I see.

T: Ah, thats good, Kami learned something new?

Kami: Yeah.

J: Yeah, in regards to toilets.

K: If you took a long time in the toilet at school, they used to say you were doing a poo, right?

J: Ah yeh. You had to do it quickly, or they would be saying it all day. They would be saying like, 'This guy did a poo'. I wonder what its like for kids these days?

T: Yeah, I'd like that to disappear. I want the toilet to be peaceful.

K: You felt something was coming if you went in the stall, right?

J: Yeah, they would throw water over the top, and shout 'This guy's doing a poo!'.

T: Yeah, yeah.

J: What was that all about?!

T: Well, I think boys' toilets should all be just individual stalls.

J, K: Ahh, yeh.

J: So you can't tell whether someones doing a no.1 or a no.2?

K: But recently there are people who sit on the toilet on their phones not actually pooing, aren't there?

T: There are, yeah. Even if I'm outside desperate to go.

J: Yeah, you can tell they aren't even trying to go, or they've already finished. Its totally silent in there. Or you suddenly hear them answering their phone. Its like, 'Hey! That cubucle is for doing a poo!'.

T: This is a big problem amongst men.

J: It is.

K: Ok, shall we finish on that note, haha. Please subscribe. Thank you very much.

*1,2 Couldn't catch/figure out.

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#dir en grey #the freedom of expression #tfoe #kaoru #薫

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ilysmxiao · 3 years ago

Text

your title is gone now, childe. | childe x reader

ok this is rlly shitty bc ive nvr written for childe before. the reason why i did was bc there was a yt vid (which the link is here) and a lot of ppl were writing ab it,, so i decided to join in on it and my friend rlly liked it lol. so im posting this here . this is super shitty tho, cus i rushed it. childe is probably occ so b warned. anyways i might start writing genshin fics, so yea. pls pls pls check the warnings bc this is triggering,, gn prns used !! i wrote this listening to i bet on losing dogs on repeat lmao summary : the love of your life remains as your enemy, even as you both grow closer and share memories you would never share with another person. although you truly loved him, he had what you didn’t. in our lives, we do what we can to achieve what we want, even if it ruins what we already had. we must pay the price if we sought to get what we wish. warnings : character death, gore/blood, knife stuff, possible manipulation?? jus overall sad shit. please dont read this if ur triggered by those things !!

at first, it had felt like a game - a childish one, in which both had fought for the title they held so dear. a number was just so in many eyes, but in their own, it held much more meaning. to be a harbringer, you must prove your strength. to achieve such title, it wasn't considered dirty to cheat, as it all was just part of the game. as time went on, though, it all had lost it's meaning, though one continued to fight - whether that was to prove he earned his title, and did not want to lose the superiority that it granted him, or for other selfish reasonings that even his inner thoughts refused to accept. due to his own lack of true understanding of the powers others held to make himself seem all the greater, childe went into the war blindly; yet, at the same time, too aware, so much so that his concentration on his weak spots created a new one entirely that was left open. it was not paranoia that put him in this spot, but his own selfish reasons he had yet to entirely understand. a cough escaped the males lips, blood dripping down from the corner of his mouth. it was then, did he realize he underestimated his lovers strength, their willpower, and the lack of true love they held for them. even with a knife against their neck, they would not back down, and it was far too late to realize such. whether [y/n] truly loved him or not, whether they used him for the title that granted them so much power in liyue, he could not tell if what angered him was the lies he had been given or the very fact he so gradually fell straight into them. in the end, all that mattered was who won, but he was unsure if the battle he sought was one he truly wished for. although he was a merciless harbringer, one with no care for the likes of someone like [y/n], he still had a right to love. not only so, but at the end of the day, [y/n] promised him that if all else corroded around the two, they would always be there. childe refused to listen to the soft spoken echoes of the loving words [y/n] used to tell him. he refused to watch the sweet memories of the two playing with teucer, bringing back the toys [y/n] taught him how to make for the pure fact that the poor kid would not find out the truth - or when they would lay in bed together, speaking of the many stories they had experienced in their lifetimes that made them who they were now. but when all is said and done, what all of that was true? did any of it mean anything, if the ones people truly loved hurt them in a way that was unforgivable? when they took away the one thing that meant so much to them? when all is taken, what do they become; what happens then? "oh, oh, my little baby," his lovers lips cooed, their hand softly grazing the others chin. "what have you become?" a soldier that blindly ran into war, fighting against a force he could never put his finger on. the title of a harbringer was an important one, though, how important it was to another was never going to be the same as the other. childe lacked to realize such, stuck in a bubble of his own selfishness and his love for the other - he never cared to realize how much it might have meant to the other. he never sought to realize the power that being even related to one it gave them, or the trip that it would put them on. childes eyes gazed up at his lover, soon shooting away to the empty space beside them. upon looking into those blue eyes of his, one could see the color began to dull and the ambitions he once held began to fade. "i should have been more cautious of you, i would have never expected you to be the one to steal this from me." although he said it in a tone that could show the way he laughed at his own faults, [y/n] knew very well that he had officially been stripped of what power he had held. "you underestimate me, childe. did the acts of other teach you nothing? even the ones you love betray you, a war can not have two winners." a small, hoarse chuckle left his lips; a burning sensation growing in his abdomen. the blood continued to poor out of his side, in which, caught his attention - his eyes glanced at the wound at his side, then back at his lover. he knew his time was up, as the thoughts of his loved ones and the risks he had managed to pull through with scattered his mind - was it worth it, leaving his loved ones behind, his younger brother who had meant as much to him as he did to teucer, in the end? "i hope that..," [y/n] paused for a moment, a small sigh leaving their lips. "in the next life, we meet again, and that you are sure not to let your guard down." the gaze that casted upon childes body soon wavered, turning into almost a sad one, perhaps even a disappointed one - in that moment, when their gaze met each others, they both realized what this both costed them both. it was clear that [y/n] still loved him, and always have loved him, and that was the breaking point for the both of them. one refused to show it, the other was uncaring of what he had let the other see. what is left after life is what truly matters, and although you may not like how it ended, at least something stuck with you until the end. right? "i-i'd like to believe that, [y/n]," childe muttered shakily, his brows very slightly furrowing. "you truly can not trust those closest to you." although the males lover already knew what they had done, what it had costed them - the one person he had chosen to love, the last words to leave childes lips was what had made him fully understand what he had done and the pain was one he knew that he never truly would be able to get away from. "well, we will see, won't we?" there was a pause, silence soon flooding the air. childe knew his time was coming, he accepted it, and it nearly mortified him to know things had to end the way it was going to. "y-yeah, we will.," few words left childes lips, and another blade plunged into his stomach. another groan left his lips, his face coiling slightly in pain. if you were to look hard enough, you could almost see the tears that soon began to prick the males eyes. "i love you, ajax." soon, [y/n] wrapped their body against their dying lover, and childe attempted to do the same. "i-i.., love.. you, too." those were the final words that childe spoke, his body soon going limp in his lovers arms. the words he spoke still lingered, echoing in the bristling sounds of leaves swaying in the wind - nothing more, nothing less. to become a harbinger, there were no rules - you just had to prove you were worthy of such a title, no matter what it costed, no matter how you cheated the rest. life does not come with special privilege's, no one will let you surpass them willingly, you have to fool them into believing you cant, and only then will you be able to reach what you sought for.

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #childe x reader #ajax x reader #childe #tartaglia #tartaglia x reader #childe angst #pls b warned reading this #ANGST #genshin angst yummy

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ringmyheart · 4 years ago

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Can I request Vin Jin boyfriend headcanons and some fluff? (You don't have to force yourself)

(This and the other vin jin rq were merged!)

Honestly the way I see it, it doesn’t matter if you’re a very calm person or outgoing person. No matter what this relationship is gonna end up being considerably chaotic

He ropes you into everything he does. Doesn’t matter if u r a design student or an architecture student or if ur on the opposite side of the school from him, u r practically in his class. Dating him is like signing a contract sealing away ur own life bc he makes it a point to be ALWAYS w u

In class he doesn’t gaf if the teacher has ur seat on the other end of class, he is somehow finding a way to sit next to u against ur will or not. And when the teacher moves u two away from eachother INTENTIONALLY bc of this, he is threatening whoever happened to sit next to u to trade seats w him. He will go as far as to dress up as them to make it look like they’re them to be next to u and he’s so dramatic ab it.... being away from u felt like u were star crossed lovers whom the world was fiercely against

And if UR against this cuz ur tired of getting in trouble in class, or if you reject any of his advances, he’s gonna be really, really, really offended. He will at first sputter and be kinda shy and embarrassed about it, before he goes “fine! Have fun on your own without me, the greatest thing in your fucking life!”

He move seats back and will glare at you periodically every five minutes to pavlov dog you so that every five minutes every day, even when he’s not there, you feel the burning stare of vin jin

If you’re his s/o, he’ll buy you a matching pair of sunglasses so ur the freshest looking couple around Seoul (they’re hideous and thick but he thinks u look fly)

The glasses don’t have nearly as many layers as his does for himself so u can see, and u wonder how he managed to make them just as bulky and if he did it on purpose to sabotage u. Like “did u make my glasses purposefully ugly so no one else will want me?”

U have to dodge a punch after saying anything like that ab his fashion decisions LMAOAO

He’s rlly proud of u two matching. With the glasses and anything in general. He’ll make you wear a jacket matching his, or the same shoes and he will stop people in the hall and be like “wait. Notice anything cool ab us today?? Cooler than normal??”

And when they don’t respond he boasts “that’s right!! Me and my other half r matching. Look at us and weep, losers.” He thinks u two look so good....... if ur enthusiastic ab wearing matching things too he is elated u have to pray that tomorrow he won’t show up w another “if lost return to Vin Jin” “I’m Vin Jin” pair of jackets or anything of the like bc it happens SO OFTEN

And on the topic of sharing when it’s cold he likes to share jackets and blankets w u. Ur desks r moved by eachother by vin jin himself and u two share one blanket over u and shiver bc he just likes it, sharing w u plus he’s slightly warmer. And yes if you guys had indivizual blankets you would be warmer, but u guys have to struggle together he doesn’t care what anyone says (yes even ur protests ur sharing that one blanket wether he has to wrap it around u himself and tear up the one u brought on ur own or what”

He is so blind in love that he cannot tell when u guys suck at stuff. Like if ur in the wrong he doesnt care ur RIGHT and he’s taking that to the grave. He can belittle u and call u out but if someone else says ur in the wrong it’s on sight

Will die protecting ur name even when ur the one who was genuinely wrong

He forces u to make a beat for him to rap to. He loves rapping and wants to enjoy it w u, so ur forcefed YouTube videos of how to beatbox so u can be his bgm and eventually u probably just start to enjoy it to

And u always start a beat and he starts busting out rhymes and it’s SO BAD. It doesn’t matter if ur good at beatboxing if vin Jin is on the track w u it’s gonna sound terrible he brings the quality down immensely but u two just cannot tell

Like after a two session ur like “omg... that was so good. We should go pro?” “Fuck yea we should we’re better than those posers” “we could rlly make it in the industry fr” no u absolutely could not

During the school festival, u sang with him and it was SO bad. Half the crowd is gonna have 2 be hospitalized but u two had FUN up on the stage

Like I said, he has absolute faith in u. All u do is right. If ur driving a car for the first time, he is going to be ur little hype man doesn’t matter if u suck. U hit a curb and he went “YES babe!! Ur killing it cant wait till u hit the road bby” Ur not allowed to touch a car for the next two years now bc he kept cheering u on when u we’re doing CLEARLY wrong things

On a plane u r looking for the bathroom like pensively and u see a handle and look back and r like “is this it???” And vin jin thinking u r all righteous will go “yea babe go for it” and u open it and u depressurizate the cabin immediately

Now both on like 5 no fly lists

He loves to do things with u, like I mentioned earlier, and things he wouldn’t do alone he’ll do w u. Like drawing alone?? Boring. Drawing w Y/N??!!! Who knows what could happen..... so much fun could ensue. Maybe he will draw u cutely. Maybe he will draw u so ugly u will be forced to engage in a fight.

He likes to play just dance w u and compete for the “greats/all star!” Little titles above, and it becomes like a Friday night ritual for u two to turn just dance on and just go at it. But sometimes he’ll get too intense and suddenly he’s actually fighting for the chance to beat u. Will trip u so u lose on purpose

He makes u listen to him sing and rap to u. And u try to leave and he hugs tightly and is like LISTEN IFS FOR U, DONT BE UNGRATEFUL and now u have to listen

He makes u a mixtape of songs he made himself and they are all considerably worse than “remember the times we had”. It’s uploaded on SoundCloud and all the comments r hate and u listen to it a lot bc u know he loves u sm he made u a mixtape ya ur gonna play that but everyone else hates it w a passion

Like the comments r like:

Daniel: well.... it’s definitely a song 😅 I’m glad you love (y/n) so much!

Duke: he’s not making it out the hood 😐

Zach: never let this man in a studio AGAIN

Mary: this should’ve stayed in the CD

(Y/N): love it! 😍

Zoe: kill your producer 💀

Mira: ...

He’s overprotective too

If someone looks at u for more than a second he’ll go “what?? U think she is hot, huh? I’ll kick ur ass fucking perv.... cmon babe let’s go”

Will throw his arm around u and streer u the opposite way of any potentially good looking ppl to keep ur eyes on him

Oh Daniel is coming?? What a coincidence u and vin Jin suddenly have to turn the corner to the other way of ur classroom for some reason

Eli is near?!!! Oh no u just got milk spilt in ur eye!! Oh no now he has to wipe ur eyes and u two have to leave the cafeteria whatever will he do

It’s not that he doesn’t have faith in u, he doesn’t have faith in other men. Like he thinks they r all competition, and doesn’t doubt ur loyalty rather doubts how good he can b for u

WILL beat someone up for u. If someone smokes while ur around suddenly his fists r swinging at them cuz even if u smoke or vape urself no one else can get that stuff in ur lungs but YOU or HIM!!

If ur crossing the street and a car almost hits u, it’s the cars fault and he’s kicking the license plate and cursing it out for almost touching u “stupid fucking piece of metal”

Is the type of boyfriend to call u when he knows ur in an Uber and be like “babe u got ur gun w u right?? Oh don’t forget ur BOMB and ur MACHETE!! Yeah just left the house I killed some ppl nbd haha anyways HRU what’s ur Uber driver like” so the driver of ur car won’t even think ab kidnapping u. He has got ur back even when u do not want it

He doesn’t want u to see his eyes, so he’ll tell you to look away so he can take his glasses off and look at u in full color in all ur glory but he never tells u WHY he’s telling u to look away u think it’s a weird thing of his, or he’s insecure ab his face which is partially true but really he’s taking his glasses off and just looking at u. Adoringly.....

He hates PDA. He loves PDA. Do u see his dilemma

Like he loves PDA but doesn’t want anyone seeing him vulnerable even u.... so he’ll hold ur hand and be like “EWWW WHAT R U DOING GET YR HAND OFF MINE”

If u take the lead THATS best bc he can blame it on u and it’s ur fault he HAS to lock fingers w u cuz u did it to him first and he has an excuse to touch u and v like u started this im just sending u ur own energy back 😤

The type to be just like blind, overwhelmed in love. Always thinks ab u, always wants to be w u, worries ab u a lot and frets over u without showing it.... he hates it and loves it to death. Despises it but wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world

Eats lunch w u in the cafeteria and if u sit w someone else u r the ultimate traitor and he will trash talk u to hide his hurt to Mary the entire lunchtime. Kinda possessive.... wants u to also only think about him

WOULDNT EVER fight u for real. Play fights occur VERY often, like pillow fights, tripping ur foot when u say a joke insulting him, grabbing ur collar but he would sooner die than lay a finger on u

Verbal fights happen a lot and if he ever like LOSES it he may lash out and almost hit u and follow thru. I don’t think he’d be able to catch himself that quickly, and if he ever did he’d regret it for the rest of his life. Literally until the day dies he will take it to his grave

He may not sputter out apologieswill just look at u incredulously and then at his hands because what had he done? What did he just do? To you???????? (Y/n))))?????? His (y/n)??? Light of his life?

Will apologize probably over text or through a note or call, and if u don’t respond he is consumed by regret and tries to find u instantly like runs back to ur place

If u forgive him he feels bad still, because does he deserve it? And he might just isolate himself for a bit bc he can’t face u and if it left a scar he is dead inside. It kills him, literally

I could go on w this but I’ll probably save it for another separate pair of hcs later 😭

If u guys ever break up he will fight for u again and won’t stop till ur back together like flowers in ur locker every day, chocolate give during lunch, etc. He wont ever give up hope that he can win u over again and be w u again. He would keep trying, when he wakes up his first thought is ur name in a cold panic bc he can’t rest easy till ur his again and he will try and show off and poorly serenade u and trash his price and be corny and cheesy to get u back

Will set up a performance w the school to let him rap w a mic during lunch for u and he’s saying bars like “(read in bad rapping voice w inconsistent beat) (y/n), love of my life, uh, without you I’d die, uh. Please won’t you take me back? Yuh, without you ima have a heart attack. (Wha!). (Y/n), love of my life, yeah, without you I’m in strife, yup! Please be mine again, (babe), I can never rest till then.”

If the embarrassment doesn’t make u take him back so he’ll pls stop, and when he stands up on the lunch tables to do a little performance doesn’t do it either, then the odd sincerity of his voice and pain in his look (even tho while rapping he sticks out his lower lip in a weird pout) definitely, hopefully will

U make everything worth it !! Truly the light of his life

I hope these were what u wanted, I just had fun w them and wrote stuff that came off the top of my head when I thought of VJ!! ❤️

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hold-our-destiny · 4 years ago

Text

5 times tony comforted Peter and the one time Peter comforted Tony

This is for @bluesweatshirt for the friendly neighborhood exchange!

(also i’m really sorry i couldn’t add in a cut off on mobile)

________________

Peter wasn't a sad person.

He wasn't too sad when his parents didn't come home from their business trip. Yeah, he was sad when Ben died- he died in front of him for god’s sake- but he didn’t show it, he sucked it up and helped May with the new struggles with money.

Peter wasn't sad, no. He was tired though.

God, he was so tired.

It had been two weeks since homecoming night and Peter was catering between not being able to sleep at all and waking up every night from nightmares.

This night was different, though.

Because for some reason… Mr Stark was in his nightmare.

It was never anyone but peter. Always Peter stuck under rubble, falling from a plane, stuck in the fire. Never anyone else so why now would it be Mr Stark?

That wasn’t exactly the first thought on his mind when he woke up.

___________

Peter woke up with a start, breath stuck in his chest, tears already escaping his eyes.

He threw the covers off him, needing to be free from the confines, before reaching for his phone.

He’s hurt, mr stark’s hurt and he can't help him- oh god he can't save him-

“Hello?” Mr Stark’s groggy voice shook him out of his thoughts.

“Mr Stark?” Peter asked, almost scared for any reply.

“Pete? You okay?” His mentor’s voice took on a new tone. Worry mixed with… something.

“Yeah, sorry, i just- I’m sorry for waking you- I’ll hang up now-”

“Peter. Are you okay?” The question made him want to cry, made him want to curl up and let it all out with how safe it made Peter feel.

“Yeah I’m-” he took a breath, “I’m fine,”

He could tell the billionaire knew he wasn’t, “Okay, well you might as well help me anyway,”

“Help you?”

“Yeah, i've been up for hours trying to figure this problem out,” He lied.

“O-okay”

The mechanic explained the problem to him, Peter letting the words wash over him, breathing through the explanation. He pretended not to notice when Mr Stark didn't ask for his thoughts, when he reminded him to breathe every now and then, just letting his words soothe the kid from the evident panic attack he’d just gone through.

God, he was so out of his element.

Maybe this was a good thing- maybe it was good for him to comfort this kid- this kid who he barely knew. Just for tonight, only tonight.

Tony was tired. No, scratch that- he was fucking exhausted.

He was pretty much ready to drop on that wednesday, ready to curl up in his king size bed and sleep for 16 hours straight.

And yeah, maybe he forgot it was lab day.

Peter walked- more like stumbled- through the lab doors, somehow racing and also shuffling to his seat, dropping his bag with a thud and sitting in his chair in almost the same manner.

Peter’s hair was messy, curls more unruly than usual, and Tony would bet that if he could see the kid’s eyes, they wouldn’t look healthy.

“Hey kid,”

No answer.

“You okay?”

A delay, then a slight nod. Peter still hadn’t put anything in front of him, just simply sitting at the desk.

“You wanna skip lab day today?”

Peter’s head shot up, eyes wide and concerned. And yeah, Tony was right, he had dark bags under his eyes.

“What? Is something wrong? Do you need me to leave?” Tony raised a hand to stop him.

“No- no- I mean more like…” He didn’t know how he was going to say this, “I’m pretty tired right now, do you wanna just order a pizza and chill out on the couch?”

Peter looked at him suspiciously, before nodding, already getting up and heading to the other room.

Yeah, tony thought to himself, you’re doing okay

______--

Peter was passed out on the couch within 5 minutes, remote laying in his limp hand and head lolled to the side awkwardly.

Tony brought the pizza in, setting the boxes down on the coffee table and gently shook Peter awake.

“Hey, kid,” He whispered as Peter woke up, matching the tone to the dark room, “You wanna have something to eat? Or at least get into more of a comfortable position,”

Peter nodded groggily, sitting up so Tony could sit next to him, legs touching as Peter moved closer. Tony raised his arm up and around the back of the couch, resting on the teenager’s shoulders and allowing him to relax into the billionaire.

Tony put a random star wars film on the tv, letting it drift into background noise as the kid fell asleep next to him.

For years, Tony had been scared of fucking a future kid up, becoming his father and eventually pushing everyone away. Somehow, now, his fears have receded, his mind reassuring him repeatedly.

He trusts you. You’re doing okay.

Peter woke up under rubble.

No, no, this wasn’t a nightmare. The air was too thick, dust invading his airways. He choked on it as he took a breath. It was too dark, way too dark, the rocks were crushing him, piercing his skin in multiple places. He groaned with the weight, reaching for his watch instinctively.

He pressed the side button three times, letting red light illuminate his surroundings and trying to breathe with the rubble pushing down on his chest.

His watch lit up blue, and Tony’s voice started speaking through it.

“Peter? Pete- you there?”

“Y-yeah I’m here” He choked out, a waver in his voice.

“Okay, how are you feeling, kid?”

“I- The rubble- it’s crushing me- i can’t-” His breath started to speed up at the reminder, panic invading his senses.

“Kid- kid! You gotta calm down, okay? We’re getting you out now, i promise- we’re gunna get you out real soon- but you gotta calm down for us to do that, okay?”

Peter made an affirmative noise, closing his eyes and trying to even out his breaths. His memories were resurfacing much quicker than he could cope with and Tony’s voice was only helping slightly. Peter didn’t know what he was saying, letting the noises meld together in his mind as he calmed himself.

After a few minutes- or hours, he didn’t know- he’d calmed down somewhat, finally able to focus on the voice coming out of his watch.

“We’re getting you out of there now, kid. You’re doing so good for me, Pete- just keep breathing for me, okay?”

With the panic receding now, Peter was much more aware of his surroundings. He was also aware of the fact that his brain was slowing down, unable to process things as quickly as he normally could. There was a reason for that in the back of his mind but he couldn’t reach it.

There was something wet underneath him, soaking up into his clothes, he didn’t like that. He wanted to move away from it but only made it hurt worse when he tried- he cried out in pain.

“T-tony!”

There was a scuffle on the other end of the line- “Yeah, pete? You okay?- what’s happening?”

“T’ny- t- tony! T’y please- g’t me out- please- please- i- i can’t-”

“Peter- what’s happening?”

“H’rts- my- my chest- there’s- it’s-” The panic was back now, confusing him even more than before, “S’mthing- und’r- something wet- under me- t’ny please-”

“Shit- Peter- Pete- breathe, okay kid? Breathe for me. We’re gunna help you,”

Peter took a breath, then another, and another, steadying his heart before whimpering when the rubble shifted, “Kid, we’ve almost got you. I need you to stay awake, okay? We’re gonna get to you soon but you gotta stay awake so you can tell us if we move the wrong thing, okay?”

Peter made an affirmative noise again, wanting nothing more than to move away from the pain, but listening to Tony.

Tony talked again a while later, surprising Peter when he did.

“Pete? You still awake for me, bud?”

“Y-yeah im- im here,”

He heard Tony breathe out slowly, “That’s good, Pete. We’re only a few feet away from you, but the next thing we’re going to move is gunna shift some stuff, okay? Tell us if it hurts you, okay, kid?”

“Okay- I’ll tell y’u”

He waited a few seconds, hearing some movement to his side, before the rubble shifted and his legs screamed in pain. He only let out a grunt, not wanting to stop the team’s efforts, and only a moment passed before he saw his father figure knelt down beside his head, cradling it with one hand. He smiled up at him.

“T-tony-” He sobbed.

Tony nodded, “Yeah, yeah, kid, i’m here now. Sorry we couldn’t get to you sooner but I got you now, i promise. You did so good for me, bud,”

“Good?” Peter’s eyes were closing now, relishing in the relief of pain after hours of panic.

“So good, kid. I’m so proud of you for staying calm. You can sleep now, okay? Let us do the rest.”

He smiled up at his mentor again, letting his eyes close and his body relaxed as his mind gave in to the not-so-distant pull of sleep.

Tony woke up that morning to a call from midtown tech.

Of course, he was confused as to why Peter’s school would call him at midday on a random tuesday.

“Is this Tony Stark?” The caller sounded dubious- doubtful.

“Yes, it is,”

“This is Julia calling from midtown tech. Are you the emergency contact for Peter Parker?”

“One of them, yes,”

“Would you be able to pick Peter up soon?” Tony was already getting some more presentable clothes on, worried as hell.

“Yes, of course. Can I ask why?”

“To be completely honest with you, Mr Stark, I don't even know. There’s a police officer in there with him right now, and that’s all i know.”

Tony froze. A police officer could only mean two things, and Tony didn’t like either option.

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes,” And with that, he hung up.

Peter practically fell into his arms when he walked into the office. Tony instinctively went to cradle the back of his head as he processed everything that was happening. One of those things being that Peter was crying.

Peter was crying.

He wrapped his arms around the teenager more firmly as the police officer stepped toward them.

“Mr Stark, I’m officer Langford,” Tony nodded curtly towards him, waiting for an explanation.

“You may want to sit down for this,”

It took some time for Tony to maneuver Peter into a more comfortable position on the couch in the corner, the kid not wanting his mentor to see his face- in fear?- but they got there in the end.

The officer sat down in a chair opposite them, “I’m sorry to tell you this but this morning May Parker was involved in a car accident, she was rushed to the hospital but unfortunately, she was pronounced dead on arrival-” Peter held him slightly tighter, “We called you here because you were Peter’s second emergency contact, and in situations like these, we need a temporary home for him. If you agree, you can take him home now, and if not we can move him to a separate-” Tony held a hand up to cut him off.

He moved the hand back down to rub across Peter’s back, meant to be a soothing gesture but somehow made him more tense.

“I’ll take him now, and i can sort out the paperwork for a… longer arrangement soon,” Officer Langford nodded before wishing them well and leaving, but Tony didn’t pay any notice, his mind too caught up in what just happened.

It wasn’t caught up in May’s death, somehow in the back of his mind, he knew, he knew that police officers didn’t just show up at a kid’s school for no reason. He wouldn’t have been called if it was anything else.

No, it wasn’t caught up with that.

It was caught up with the fact that Peter- his kid, his Peter- upon hearing Tony’s agreement to take him in- he lost all tension in his body. As if he was relieved, as if he feared Tony would leave him, as if he would abandon the kid he’s grown so close to lately.

Tony couldn’t process it.

“Hey, kiddo, can you look at me please?” Peter minutely shook his head, burrowing into Tony’s shirt even closer than before. His tears had long since stopped, now just seeking comfort from the billionaire.

“We’ve gotta be clear about some stuff, okay, bud? Just a few minutes and then we can go back to whatever this is,” Tony wasn’t good at this.

But, still, Peter pulled back from their embrace, head turned down towards his legs.

“Kid-” Tony was stuck for words, “i want you to know that you can stay with me for as long as you like, okay? If it’s just for this week, for a while or if it’s for the rest of your life, okay? I need you to understand that i’m going to stick with you through all of it, anything you need from me, I’ll get it for you,” He took a breath, “You’re not alone in this,”

Peter crumpled.

As if against his own command, his body surged forward, arms clumsily reaching for his father figure, breaths coming through as gasps, head still downturned.

But still, Tony caught him.

__________

Tony took Peter back to the tower, he set him up in his room, gave him food and sent him to bed. He figured they’d deal with talking about it tomorrow, after some good sleep and a long fucking think about how Tony feels about this kid.

That went to shit at around 4am.

Tony was up on his feet before he could process the scream, legs rushing him to the only inhabited room on his floor. Pushing the door open and hoping for the worst.

He really didn’t expect to see Peter in the corner, bed sheets crumpled around his feet, breaths barely present.

He kneeled down a few feet away, unsure about whether Peter needed him close or not. But upon seeing the kid reach out a trembling hand towards him, he surged forward, pulling the teenager into his arms.

“It’s okay, whatever it is, it’s okay, we’re safe. I’ve got you.” He repeated in hushed whispers, rocking the two of them back and forth.

It was only a few minutes later when Peter responded to him, breathing normally now, hand clutching his mentor’s shirt as he mumbled into his chest.

“Couldn’t- couldn’t save y’u- i- i can’- can’t do i’- pl’se t’ny-”

Tony hushed him.

Peter repeated the mantra for another- god, tony didn’t know how long- until tony was finally able to hush him. The billionaire carefully picked him up, walking him the few feet over to the bed and laying him down in it.

Tony hesitated by the door, before hushing his brain of all negative thoughts, turning off the light and retreating back into the teenager’s bedroom. He climbed into the bed with the kid, curling up next to him- relieved when Peter immediately turned to cling to his chest.

Slowly, he fell asleep.

To say Peter was worried about this mission was an understatement. Him and Tony were going undercover together and honestly… it was already awkward.

The thing is, Peter wouldn’t have any trouble going undercover normally but now, they were going in as father and son.

There was this guy- this villain they’d started calling the ‘poisoner’- who was targeting father and son couples, poisoning the son and leaving the father with the body until they were found. They’d tried everything to arrest the guy but… he kept getting away- going undercover was the only option- the last ditch attempt before the avengers started knocking on doors.

It was weird how Peter was more scared to act like Toy was his dad, when he could actually die if the other guy got the upper hand.

_______________

They were sat in the hotel room, waiting.

They saw the guy- the poisoner- earlier at the bar. He’d followed them all night, back to their room but… he hadn’t pushed his way in, always staying just too far away to be apprehended by Tony.

It took a few hours for there to be a knock at the door, Tony standing up and casting a quick look at Peter before going to answer it.

He opened the door to see him- the guy- the poisoner- dressed up as a waiter or something, pushing a cart in front of him.

“Can i help you?”

He smiled, “Room service, sir,” He started pushing his way past Tony.

“I’m sorry, but we didn’t order room service,”

The poisoner turned around quickly as he heard the door blow shut, quickly pulling Tony into a headlock and facing Peter, who was frozen in the shock of it all.

“Now I’m going to say this one time only,” He ignored Tony struggling in his hold, pulling out a gun from his waistband, “There’s handcuffs under the cart. You’re going to cuff yourself to the bed or I’ll blow your dad’s brains out,”

Peter moved slowly, sliding off the bed and keeping his hands visible. The man was the same height as Tony and didn’t look much bigger than him. Tony should be able to get out of his hold easily- there was a reason he couldn’t- and now he had a gun to his head.

He reached under the tablecloth, feeling the cold metal and pulling out three sets of handcuffs. He moved over to the bed again, cursing the hotel for having actual bed posts, and cuffed his left wrist to the bed, laying down on it to make himself more comfortable.

The man then pushed Tony away from him, pointing the gun at Peter this time and making fear rush through him, “Now you- cuff his other hand to the bed,”

Tony hesitated, making the man cock the gun, and Tony then quickly moved towards Peter, efficiently cuffing the teenager’s wrist, giving it a small squeeze of reassurance that didn’t do much to reassure him.

“Pull the chair away from the desk,” The poisoner commanded, “And cuff your hands behind it,”

Tony did so immediately, not risking Peter’s safety again. Only once he was situated did he start talking.

“You know you’re going to regret this,” The poisoner laughed.

“You really think so, do you? I know you’ve got this room bugged, i know the avengers are probably on their way here. But I’m here to send a message,”

“And what message is that?”

He paused, pulling the lid off the metal plate he brought in on the cart, it revealed a neat line of six vials, all full of a blue liquid.

“You need to pay for what you did,”

__________

As it turns out, the poisoner doesn't actually inject the poison.

No, that would be too merciful.

Tony’s handcuffed to the chair he’s sat in, facing the bed. The same bed of which Peter, his kid, the teenager who he’d grown to care for so much in the past year or two, was handcuffed to in an ironic parallel. Father and son. Mentor and mentee. Tony, the merchant of death, destined to lead anyone he comes into contact with to a gruesome fate.

Peter happened to be that person.

Tony remembered the first few days after the fight with the rogues, how he regretted taking Peter with him, knowing he was going to ruin the kid. The few months after had only solidified that claim, and so he’d taken the suit.

There was no way he was getting out of the situation now.

The poisoner- that son of a bitch tony was going to kill as soon as he could get out of this damn chair-

The poisoner, had strapped a mask to the teenager’s head, slowly screwing in a vial of that fucking liquid on either side.

And now he was breathing it in- the gas- the poison that Tony just sat there as he’d been strapped down.

Now, Tony thought it was bad enough when he’d had all those thoughts running through his head, memories of Peter before they’d gotten to know each other, before Tony had taken him in. He thought that had been bad enough.

But no, it was so much worse when all those thoughts suddenly screeched to a halt.

Because Peter had just turned his head, linking eyes with Tony, a desperate plea moving between them.

Because Peter was scared- he looked terrified.

There were unshed tears laying in his tear ducts, enough to easily see as you looked at the kid. His lips barely visible within the mask but from what Tony could see, they were held in a strained frown, lips being bitten.

Peter moved his head towards his mentor, linking eyes with the man. And that, right there in that moment, was when the teenager let go.

“T-tony-” A sob cut him off, choked out between his lips.

“T-tony please- i can’t- i don’t-” Tony shushed him from where he was sitting.

“Kid- Pete- I-” Tony was speechless, all known reassurances dying in his throat as soon as he’d thought of them, what were you supposed to say to a kid who was dying and you couldn’t do anything about it?

“Tony- please- dad- i can’t-” that kicked his instincts into gear.

“Kid, you need to stop talking, okay? The team’s going to get here soon, they’ll get this shit out of you and you’ll be okay, then you can tell me whatever you need to when you’re better, okay?”

Peter nodded, eyes still wide with tears but he listened to the billionaire. and somehow, that made it so much worse, the kid would follow him into fire if he asked him to, and now Tony got him into this situation.

Tony wanted nothing more than to look away from what was happening, as Peter breathed in the poison, helpless to do anything, but he couldn’t not be there for the kid. He needed his father figures comfort.

“he’s right, the teams gunna get here soon, i don’t know when but we’ll get you out of this as soon as we can, and then we can spend a week watching all of the star wars movies, and the clone wars if you want, anything you want kid”

The poisoner was sat in the corner of the room, on the other bed. He was watching them, watching Tony desperately give his kid comfort without being able to touch him.

Tony looked at him, “you’re a fucking psychopath, you know that, right? he’s 16, he’s just a kid. why don’t you kill me instead if you want me to pay so much, huh?”

The poisoner chuckled, standing up to walk over to them, “If you die, you wouldn’t feel the pain i did as my kid died in front of me, i’m going to make you watch as your kid suffocates in front of you”

He got two new vials, replacing the almost empty ones. Peter’s wheezing had gotten a lot more prominent now, trying desperately to bring in air.

Tony’s always been around death, it greets him at every corner. but every time, someone else dies instead of him, or at least, they come close to it.

He doesn’t know what he’d do if Peter dies.

______________

He’d already changed to the last set of vials now, Peter's breath was barely there.

Tony was fucking terrified, obviously.

The team was close, he was sure of it, but that had been what he’d been telling himself the whole time.

They were barely minutes out by his assumptions, but he didn’t know if Peter had minutes, vials nearly empty as the liquid in them turned to gas for the teenager to breathe in, slowly suffocating him.

He was still facing Tony, eve after this long, still trusting him to save him. Even as his body could barely pull in breaths, eyes drooping, they didnt stray from his face.

“Peter, you gotta keep your eyes open, i know it’s hard, i know- but you’ve gotta stay awake for just a few more minutes. We’re gunna help you, but you just gotta stay awake,”

Peter looked at him sadly, but his eyes stayed open and Tony counted that as a win. He started to say something but Tony shushed him quickly.

“It’s okay, kid. Don’t try to talk. We’ve been over this already, you can talk to me after the team gets here- star wars marathon and everything, remember?”

Peter’s eyebrows creased inwards, and Tony’s heart dropped. Either he just forgot about that whole part of their conversation or… or…

“You just gotta stay awake for me, okay? I believe in you kid, dont let me down,”

_______________

The door seemed to explode inwards when the team got there, Tony didn’t look up.

He didn’t look up as they arrested the poisoner, Bruce and sam moving to Peter, while two others moved to get Tony out of the seat he was in.

As soon as the handcuffs were undone, he surged forward, one hand reaching for the kid’s- which now rested on the bed after being released- and the other going to rest in his curls. Tony quickly wiped the tears off the kid’s face, staying away from his mouth as the others tried to give him as much oxygen as he needed.

Peter choked on a sob when he realised Tony was there, mouth slightly upturning even as another oxygen mask was placed over his face.

“I’m here kid. I’m so proud of you for staying awake, okay?” He looked to bruce, as the man looked away from Peter’s vitals, nodding to Tony now, “You can go to sleep now, I’m so proud of you kid, it’s okay,”

Peter’s eyes didn’t leave him, even as he fell asleep.

Tony cried as he was carried away.

__________________

Peter woke up in the medbay. That was his first sign that something bad happened.

The next sign was his mentor-father-figure-dad asleep on the side of his bed.

Peter’s eyes widened as he saw the tear tracks lining his cheeks. Tony never cried, not even when he dropped an engine on his foot that one time. If Tony was crying now, this- whatever it was that happened- it was bad bad.

“Tony?”

Tony startled awake, as if he meant to be on guard, and took one look at the kid in front of him before reaching for Peter and bringing him into his arms.

“Oh my fucking god, kid. Holy shit, you’re okay. Oh my god-”

“Tony what happened?” Was the teenager’s muffled answer, not complaining about being smothered in his da- Tony’s shirt.

“There was this- this guy we went after- had to go undercover and he got to us and he poisoned you, kid- and i couldn't- i couldn't do anything about it- i just sat there and you- you did so good-”

Peter shushed him as the memories arose in his mind, “Tony, can i talk for a second?” He received a nod in reply, “You called the team, Tony. I didn’t, you did. They got there in time and now I’m okay, aren’t I? You did everything that you could, if anything i should've done something, I’m the one with powers here. No- i know- i couldn’t have done anything but you were there the whole time telling me to stay awake and i did, Tony, because of you.”

Tony didn’t say anything, seemingly processing what the kid said. He looked up slowly, tears falling down his cheeks, leaning forward and pulling the kid into a hug again.

Slowly, Peter got tired, nearly falling asleep in Tony’s arms. So, of course, Tony moved into the bed with him, pulling the kid to rest his head against the man’s chest.

“I got you, kid, don’t worry. You can go to sleep,” Peter didn’t know if Tony was reassuring himself or the kid.

Stil, nonetheless, Peter seemingly couldn’t hold back from murmuring a last thought as he fell asleep.

“Love you, dad”

Tony froze for a moment before replying, “Yeah, i love you too, kid,”

#irondad #spiderson #peter parker #tony stark #friendly neighborhood exchange #whump #fluff #poison #nightmares #comfort #hurt/comfort #daniel writes

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halfhappyhooligan · 4 years ago

Text

a voltron au? in 2020? it’s more likely than you think

look. LOOK. i know that voltron is stupid and we hate it but lets be honest: everything up until season 3 was pretty good and had lots of potential !!

today i was rewatching voltron and a thought struck me: what if, instead of shiro being cloned, he was chipped and turned to the side of the galra?

so here it is, i did not blink since i thought of this

(warning, i have not seen voltron in a while and this is just knowledge i have stored in my moss brain and stuff i know from rewatching the first season)

au where shiro goes evil bc of what happens @ end of season one instead of the clone thing bc 1) haggar rly could not have made thousands of shiros after bumping into team voltron like what twice? its hella improbable and 2) just… weird

so instead they insert a chip in him that helps them spy and control him just like kuron (the clone) did minus the unlikely storytelling

eventually after the convo with sendak when he was in the pod trying to temp shirp, he does have thoughts about helping zarkon

(“im already infiltrated with the arm, i could just speed up the process by leaving now. save the team the trouble of investing in a leader that’s doomed to fail from the strart.”)

shiro ends up leaving team voltron in season 2 after zarkon goes crazy w the black lion n stuff

^^ this adds to Keith’s reasoning of joining the Blade of Marmora (shiro is his main stability and one of the main reasons he even stuck around with team voltron, so with shiro gone and keith questioning his place as the leader and paladin of the black lion, he decides the BoM is just.. what’s best for him)

obviously lance isn’t happy with this (“you just told me that i’m a valuable member, now you don’t think YOU are? what logic is that?”)

ofc keith goes anyways

lance becomes paladin of the black lion

allura takes on the red lion

who has blue lion? ...idk this isn’t that thought out (maybe matt after pidge finds her family) (which will happen earlier in the plot since we can forget about the miniplot of black no longer responding to shiro)

enter lotor only this time he has a sidekick and what omg its shiro wow

shiro has that bigger version of his arm that was once offered to him

he’s stronger and scary, but his eyes aren’t the same, he has the strength of a galra but lacks the passion

in the fight between lotor and zarkon, (and after, of course lots of self doubt and questioning) shiro comes between them and convinces lotor NOT to kill zarkon

then zarkon kills lotor

everyones like oh shit bc surely someone who’s life was just spared wouldn’t kill the person who seems to have the most power

but he did. bc he’s zarkon. and he’s fckn crazy.

shiro doesn’t go back to team voltron bc its too much too easily

instead he takes the place of lotor in the group of gals

he convinces them all to rebel against the galra

eventually they teach him all about quintessence and all the shit lotor had planned that they can’t do anymore

(lotor wasn’t harvesting alteans in this universe bc what the heck even was that subplot that had little to no relevance to the main storyline?

instead he was trying to find a way to technologically bring back alteans (kinda like how allure’s dad was originally preserved in s1)

i know nothing about How Stuff Works and i dont remember much about quintessence n shit but the basic idea is that when tying in some of a persons artifacts with technology stuff and some quintessence then boom. a weird route from astral projection land to the team is created and ppl can come back or smth idfk

but lotor was never able to get the comet so shiro decides he and the gals will get that comet and try to bring back as many alteans as they can

^ all this while infiltrating as many galra fleets as possible + saving planets under galra empire

they personally visit every planet that lotor was in charge of and release them from galra control

they are able to bring back an altean (its romelle) and she talks abt her friend who lives on the balmera and they go to the balmera and its revealed that it was shay’s great grandmother so romelle asks where shay is and shay’s family is like with team voltron of course

they take her

obviously team voltron, the BoM and the Rebels r very hesitant to make contact but they decide to try it out

keith refuses to meet, instead he’s on the team that stands guard

reunions !!

romelle and shay hit it off and hunk makes a dinner much like roselle’s past (allura and coran also hang out and they all vibe)

lance talks to shiro abt everything to do with keith and shiro is like dude do u??? like him?

and lance is like what? no ofc not—oh shit.

and keith ✨overhears ✨

pidge matt and shiro catch up n shit

meanwhile keith is like Hey Lance Uhhhhhh What The Fuck

they end up being like hey since we’re all here and we hate zarkon what if we make a plan to end the galra’s reign Right Now

so they do

and y’all.. it’s hella baller plan

except something is going wrong and in the middle of an attack zarkon is able to get the upper hand

due to haggar’s magic and lance’s mental and emotional instability, zarkon is able to get in his head

everyone is trying to talk him down but they’re all under a lot of pressure

allura is also conflicted bc she wanted to be black lion bc she wanted to rub it in to zarkon’s face that she was stronger than he and that she could beat him at his own game

but the negativity and instability feeds into zarkon’s power and makes him and haggar stronger as they pull in voltron to finally take over the team and regain their status as the most powerful alien race

hunk realizes this and is like okay can y’all stop being negative? its clearly affecting them in a good way and it makes us an easier target

and pidge is like im literally a child pls i don’t wanna die i just got my family back it can’t end like this

shiro realizes what’s going on and he goes to save them

he uses all his energy, pulling in the positive memories (everything: first learning about space, becoming a teacher, meeting adam, meeting keith, first making team voltron, his friends and family--all of it) to push back zarkon and haggar’s powers and battle once more in the astral realm

in defeating zarkon, shiro loses his life

afterwards keith enters the ship in a hurry and is like where the fuck is shiro where’s my brother what did you do what happened

and team voltron is like hey man.. we are so so sorry

and keith cries because the last thing he ever said to shiro was mean

lance feels like its all his fault since he was supposed to be a good leader

they talk about separately while hunk pidge and allura discuss

krolia is like keith we, ur family, are here for u

and axca is there and shes like um?? hey?? sry for trying to kill u bro

and he’s like i absolutely do not wanna talk i just lost my closest friend

they talk about it later

axca tells keith abt shiro finishing lotor’s work and abt bringing people back and well..

they use the methods to help keith visit shiro in the astral realm

shiro is like oh uh hey i was just having a drink w adam we r happy

and keith is like shiro u fuckhead why would u sacrifice urself

shiro sighs bc cmon keith you KNOW why “remember what i always said? we can’t focus on what went wrong..”

“we’ve got to figure out how to make it right” keith finishes

keith breaks tf down crying and screams apologizing

“i love u shiro. ur a like a big brother to me.”

and shiro is like yeah i know and ilyt but hey. everyone’s safe and happy. im safe and happy. & you deserve to be too. you don’t need me anymore.

so the galra rule is over and everyone goes to their respected planets

romelle and the other alteans as well as some galra babes hang in earth

romelle and shay r in an apartment together and have a garden

allura realizes she may not have been the strongest leader for voltron, and couldn’t stop zarkon on her own but that physical strength doesn’t define her as a whole

her heart is strong enough to care for everyone, so thats what she does

allura starts running an inn for alteans filled with painted sceneries like altea in case anyone ever needs a reminder of home

when lance reunites with his family its a real tearjerker

rachel finally gets her jacket back and veronica is like So.. Axca 👀

the McClain’s host a huge party for everyone and it’s filled with lots of hugs and loud music and even tho lance was way too tired, he danced all night

he wouldn’t trade his family for the world—genetic and chosen

when hunk reunites with his parents they don’t let him out the house for hours, he tells them all about his new best friend shay as well as hundreds of his favorites stories from space

they are so, so proud of him

hunk spends the next days playing minecraft and animal crossing with pidge, giving their brains a rest from being on hyperdrive for 3 yrs straight

when pidge gets home she finally gets grounded by her mom, only being allowed to leave the house to see her old teammates

(same for matt and her dad)

(her mother cries so hard when they opened the door to the home)

the holt family holds movie nights filled with popcorn, cuddles, and tears

keith moves in with the holt family, and finally accepts that he has a home as well as a family

he often goes on trips with the BoM but mostly just stays on earth

after a Team Voltron sleepover in the altea inn keith and lance decide to get an apartment together and live their lives in love and in peace

everyone gets together once a year in celebration of shiro and the sacrifice he made for them

they use the ship to visit Astral Shiro and once they even met adam

everyone laughs and catches up and just... live their lives

everyone is happy

pls ignore any and all errors lmao

again, just a thought !! maybe i’ll write a fic abt it idk for sure but yeah

feel free to add anything <3

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pokeexehasstoppedworking · 4 years ago

Text

Love Doesn’t Do Encores Ch4 The First Battle

You were alseep. Deeply fast asleep. Which is why when something violently shook you awake you snorted and sort of panicked sitting up as whoever was still shaking you kept going. For a moment you were back home. Back with your mother shaking you violently awake to get ready for school so you got up before she could scold you- but those conclusions were dashed out the window when the normal sight of Gloria came into your view. Your sobble had been spooked with a squeal and clambered onto the back of the couch in front from the rude awakening Gloria gave you both.

"Y/N!! WAKE UP!! Today's the big day!," she shouted in your ear which made you wake fully and blink at her.

"Gloria??....Wha-"

"Leon's supervising my first pokemon battle today! C'mon!! You don't want to miss it do you!?"

...OH! Right. The memories of last night came flooding back to you as you yawned and stretched out your body tiredly. So you were still here. Food smells wafted in from the kitchen and you were encouraged to get up more from that alone.

"Gloria!" The teen stopped and looked up towards the kitchen where the voice came from. You guessed Gloria's Mum must've been cooking breakfast for the two of you. "Now don't you go shaking her around like a ragdoll. If you want to do something, come in here and feed Munchy and your new pokemon. They're making a racket in here begging to be fed."

Gloria blinked. "Oh! Right!" Before running off towards the kitchen and it gave you time to wake up. Tiredly, you gathered your old bag and clothes and shuffled towards the bathroom. Sprucing yourself up and coming out in the clothes Gloria's mother had given you previously much more awake, but now with the added weight of the pokeball in your overalls' pocket. Must've been for your Sobble. Once you got back to sit back to the coach and sat down a plate of two pancakes covered in syurp and Gloria already eating a plate of the same thing was waiting for you. At her feet was your sobble and her scorbunny already eating more of that kibble stuff from their bowls. She waved a fork at you as you sat back down. "Hey! Mum left you breakfast. She wanted us to eat before we left anyways."

"Oh. That was nice of her." You smiled as you took the food from the small coffee table. "Where is she now?"

She pointed over her shoulder towards a door. "In the back garden with Munchlax. She wanted to finish planting some more lettace and try to see if she could catch the Bedew that likes to hang out around there."

Your mind went back to the bedew you saw when you first left Gloria's house and wondered if they were the same one for a moment. As you ate Gloria and the pokemon finished long before you did and by the time you did finish, the three were ready to go. And you guessed you were too considering you had a feeling Gloria was going to drag you along with her whether you like it or not. And she did. Rushing you out of the house and down the steps towards the road towards Hop's home again. And guess who was already waiting for you two outside. Hop seemed excited to see Gloria again and waved hi to her and Leon seemed Surprised but happy to see you too with her, but greeted you none the less when you approuched.

"Hey Glory! Y/n! What a nice surprise seeing you too."

"Uh, thanks! Good morning," You replied watching as the two teens and their pokemon chatted a bit.

"And I see your new friend is settling in nicely," he replied pointing to your shoulder where the tiny sobble chittered at him.

"Oh!" You hadn't even noticed he had climbed on you before the two of you left the house. But nodded. "Yeah. He seems to be well behaved thanks."

He nodded. "Well it's nice to you see you two getting along well." He turned back to the two children in front of him next and they instantly perked up as he placed his hands on his hips and gave a 'im going to win this' smile. "Now then. Down to business. You spent the whole night with that new partner of yours, right, Hop? You two getting on all right? Understanding one another? Maybe even built up a bit of love?"

"Course I have, Lee!," Hop confirmed proudly, "Gloria's made fast friends with her scorbunny, too!"

"Naturally I would!"

"Then listen up, new Trainers! Believe in yourself and your pokemon! If you trust in one another and carry on battling side by side long enough, then someday you might even become worthy rivals for me, the undefeatable Champion!" His bright gold eyes turned to Gloria looking her over for a moment and Hop caught on quick.

"What're you looking at her for, Lee?," Hop asked raising a brow, "I'm the one who'll be coming to challenge you!" But a soon reaization came over him before he snapped a challenging smile to Gloria. "If you think Gloria might be able to challenge you, then I guess she's my first rival!" Gloria blinked in surprise at her friend. "But I'm not planning to lose to her and miss out on my chance to beat the unbeatable champion!"

"NO WAY!! SO I DO GET A RIVAL BEFORE MY JOURNEY TOO!! SWEET!!" She cheered with an equally challenging smile before pointing at Hop. "But don't get your head too big yet Hoppy. You may have more pokemon but that doesn't mean I can't catch up to you!" Scorbunny let out a squeak agreeing with it's master.

"Heh. Just having a pokemon with you doesn't make you a real trainer, you know. Proper trainers raise their pokemon up to be First-rate in battle, too!"

"Oh, and you think you're worthy of calling yourself a 'proper trainer' already, Hop?," Leon hummed and Hop froze under his older brother's smile, losing that challenging smile he had earlier. "Guess I'll be the judge of that. Let's see how you handle a battle against your friend, if she's up for it." He turned back to Gloria. "What do you say? Willing and ready to take Hop on in the first ever Pokemon battle of your life?"

"HECK YEAH I AM!!" Gloria confirmed loudly and holding her fists high.

"So am I! Don't think I'll back cuz you're a 'pretty girl'!"

"HA! The only thing that Im pretty at is pretty good at kicking your butt!!"

"Then it's settled!" Leon pointed to the battle area a few yards away from them. "Everyone to the field! Believe in your partner pokemon! And care for them, too, with all your heart! Do those two things and I'm certain you'll learn to chose the moves that suit your pokemon. And most importantly...to have a champion time battling with them!'' The two kids, with Hop getting his challenging spirit back took off towards the trainer area and you couldn't help but chuckle and Leon turned back to you. "Oh hey, Y/N. Did you want to try and battle too? Might come in handy with that Sobble of yours."

You waved a hand. "Nah. I'd much rather just watch. That's what Im here to do anyways, besides I think those two don't need me stealing their thunder today."

Leon smiled and chuckled. "Alright. But the offer still stands if you change your mind." He turned cape waving behind him, "In the mean time I better be the ref for those two. You might want to stand back by the grill as you watch in case of any misfires with their pokemon. This is they're first battle after all."

"Noted."

You walked back towards the grill and watched as Leon made his way over to the two already stationed there with the scorbunny and grookey and also watching as the Champion went right over and stopped midway between them. "RIGHT! Looks like everyone's on board, pokemon and trainers alike? Then's let's do this!" His hands went back to his hips.

"I've watched every match that Lee's ever had! I've read every book and magazine he left behind at home, too!," Hop bragged challengly at Gloria doing his famous stance that looked very similar to Raihan's but had both his fists up, "I know exactly what to do in order to win!"

"Heh! We'll see about that!"

"This will be a one on one battle!'' Leon shouted. "The first one to make their opponent faint or knocked out of bounds wins! Let's begin you two!"

Scorbunny hopped flames at it's feet in challenge waiting for the grookey to- Hop pumped a fist at Gloria. "A pokemon battle it is, then! I've got two partners with me!" The same hand pulled back and tossed a pokeball to the arena to your surprise. "LET'S WIN WOOLOO!!" In a flash of light the sheep pokemon appeared before you all and baaed in challenge towards the scorbunny. You guess he wasn't starting with his Grookey like you thought.

"By now your pokemon should only know one or two moves at best being starter pokemon before your journies! So let's see how creative you two can be!" Leon pointed up. "BATTLE BEGIN!!''

You couldn't keep your eyes off them as you sat down nearly tripping over one of the green chairs before sitting down in one.

"SCORBUNNY!! USE GROWL TO PULL THE WOOL OVER THEIR EYES!!," Gloria yelled and pointed at their target as soon as those words left Leon's mouth. With lightning speed the scorbunny obeyed the command given to it and with a loud squeak it sent the move out in a flash of white and loud echo making Hop and his wooloo flinch from the sudden attack. He must've not expected the first move of Gloria's to be that quick you thought.

But he recovered quick with a scowl, pointing back. "WOOLOO USE TACKLE ON THE ENEMY!!" With a baa towards Scorbunny the wooloo curled into a ball and-

"REV YOUR FEET ON THE GROUND AND COUNTER THAT WITH TACKLE TOO USING YOUR FEET TO HIT IT!!," Gloria demanded in the middle of the command from Hop. And the scorbunny made a scowl and some kind of squeaky growl. You watched wide eyed as it stamped it's feet on the ground as fast as it could causing flames to rise from it. Leon hummed and rose a brow surprised and both you and Hop could only watch wide eyed as it generated enough flames by stomping to completely cover it's feet so when it squealed a battle cry and charged, it's feet were completely covered in flames.

"WOOLOO WAIT!! DODGE IT INSTEAD!!", he desperately shouted but by then it was too late to stop the on coming attack. With a squeal Scorbunny jumped at the very last second and used the force of the tackle to counter the force from it's opponents- Flames instantly engulfed the wooloo's wool as it was knocked back a few feet onto it's legs. ...Well it seemed to notice the flames on itself real quick. It baaed loudly in panic and began to run itself in a fennzy back and forth with the flames on itself. Hop seeming to panic too seeing the flames on his poor friend. All the while Leon watching calmly. "WOOLO-"

"SCORBUNNY USE GROWL AGAIN!! INTIMIDATE YOUR FOE!!" Another loud squeal noise came from the fire pokemon which only seemed to put the wooloo in an even crazier frenzy.

Hop gritted his teeth scowling and growl. "Rrrr!! Wooloo!! Stop, drop, and use tackle on them to put out the flames!!" Despite being in a panicked frenzy, you had to give credit when the baaing pokemon rolled instelf into a ball and finally managed to deliver a successful hit to his opponent. But because of it's defense being lowered by two growls, all it did to the Scorbunny was harmlessly knock it back a few feet unharmed. But it did sucessfully put out any flames on the wooloo's wool leaving only teeny tiny black markings where they once were calming it down. "That was a cheap trick, Glory!"

Gloria flipped her hair in victory. "What was so cheap about it? We came up with a unique way to use the fire generated from Scorbunny's feet to our advantage! The lesser the moves, the more creative you have to get-"

"WOOLOO TACKLE!!" Scorbunny squeaked in surprised and was actually sent head over heels a few feet away from a finally full on attack from the wooloo. Hop taking the moment in Gloria's talking to make a move. And though surprised at first she also scowled back at Hop's smiling face. "What? You said it yourself. The lesser the moves, the more creative you have to get."

"Tch. Yeah well jokes on you cuz Scorbunny knows a third move!!" She pointed. "SCORBUNNY USE EMBER!!"

"YOU CAN ALREADY USE THAT?!" Hop looked wide eyed and scared as the scorbunny took a breath and released it-...only for a puff of smoke to fall out and Gloria froze jaw dropped......."USE TACKLE!!" Scorbunny squeaked again as it was again hit with the brunt of another spinning wooloo and Hop chuckled. "Don't you remember that a beginner's pokemon only learns that move after a lot of practice?"

"RRR!! Good thing Leon got us the best starter pokemon then, because Scorbunny does know how to use Ember! He just needs practice- AH!!" She flinched as her pokemon as tackled for a third time, hop smiling and ordering one last tackle! but with fire in her own eyes she pointed at the wooloo! "EMBER AGAIN!! GIVE IT YOUR STRENGTH THIS TIME!!" The scorbunny sucked in enough breath to bloat out it's chest and cheeks. Holding it in as the wooloo approuched, before releasing a bright orange-red blur from the inside of it's mouth and hit the wooloo straight on! It let out a loud 'BAA!!' as it as engulfed by smoke left behind from the attack and Hop reached a hand out towards his companion with a worried look.

"WOOLOO!!" As the smoke cleared he saw the wooloo laid upon the ground. Spirals for it's eyes as it lay unconcious on the concrete battle area. And Leon held up a hand. "UH!?"

"Scorbunny and Gloria win the first match!," he smiled over Gloria's way. "Nice job you two. Gotta say, that trick you did with the flames and tackle took me off guard for your first battle. And perfecting Ember too? Not bad."

Gloria stood proud hand on her hips and Scorbunny mimicked her pose. "Well I got the idea from your move with Charizard! You once made charizard to a flip in mid air and light a flame to one of your opponents unexpectedly using the flames from it's tail! I simply just used the same method in a slightly different way."

Even you were a little impressed at that the fast, even though Hop claimed to use Leon's battling ways for fighting, it was in fact Gloria who'd end up beating him....Well you knew this would happen. the player usually won against both Hop's wooloo and other pokemon in their first battle in this game. And since Gloria was the living persona of her alternate game self, it came as no surprise she would win the first round. But who knows? Maybe Hop would have better luck this next round. But you still felt a little sorry for him, watching as he held his pokeball out as wooloo returned inside.

Hop gave it a sad look for a moment before closing his eyes and seeming to collect himself before he inhaled and smiled again. Steeling Gloria with another look. "Nice job! But it's not over yet! I've added another trusty ally to my team! GET IN THERE GROOKEY!!" Hop pointed and you were surprised when Leon didn't stop the two from having a second match, but from his calm smile towards his little brother you guessed he wanted to give Hop another chance. Not that you minded either. So far the story was progressing just how it did in game with Gloria(or Victor) battling Hop a second time and if the game goes as correctly as you remembered, minus a few minor differences. If you remembered right, and hopefully so, she should win. "Time to see what opposite pokemon types can do!"

"You're on! Use growl again-"

"Grookey jump over them and use scratch!" Hop ordered and you all watched as the grass pokemon dodged the growl attack by completely jumping over it and with a fast swipe of it's hand, delivered a hard scratch across the scorbunny's face! The poor fire type squealed out from surprise and the pain from the scratch across it's face and you cringed. Having had an outside cat, you knew that it felt to leave scratches on you.

"EMBER!!", Gloria countered and using the advantage that the grookey was within close range from jumping at them, Scorbunny managed to shoot out a ball of orange-red energy from it's mouth and hit the poor grass type directly head on. Grookey chittered in pain and rolled head over heels backwards away from the firetype, but by some miracle managed to land back up onto it's feet giving a scowl. But noticable black marks were left from it's opponents attack.

Hop seemed a little impresses tho. "Did you already know about type advantages?!"

"EMBER!!" That's all it took. another fast inhale and shoot of fire towards the grookey and in a puff of smoke, it was over. The grookey gave a loud chitter as the force collided with it and sent it skidding along the pavement and past Hop who followed it with his head.

"GROOKEY!!" The pokemon stopped half way between you and where Hop was, spiraled eyed landing on it's stomach in the same state Wooloo was it.

"Grookey is unable to battle and out of bounds!" With a flutter of his cape Leon pointed to Gloria and Scorbunny standing tall and determined. "Gloria wins the match!"

You smiled and clapped your hands for Gloria who squealed in delight and ran towards her scorbunny. The pokemon chittering as the girl brough him up into her hands and twirled him around! "OMG!! YOU WERE SO TOTALLY AMAZING AND COOL!! YOU TOTALLY GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO BE CHAMPION POKEMON!!" She turned towards you and waved. "Y/N! DID YOU SEE THAT!? I WON MY FIRST TWO MATCHES!!"

You gave her a thumbs up and smile. "Great job! I knew you could do it!"

Hop had returned the down grookey to his pokeball before reaching a hand to his head and looking at Gloria. "You beat my two pokemon with your one?! You and that scorbunny are too much!" he slumped down and frowned. "Well that was a shock. Guess I know now why Lee thought he should give you a pokemon, too."

"Hop." Gloria came walking over and reached out to grab his shoulder making the boy look back up at her in surprise when she smiled at him. "You shouldn't feel bad. This was just our first battle after all and you still managed to get some good hits on us." The Scorbunny held in Gloria's other arm squeaked in agreement at Hop who blinked. "If you're going to be my rival, then as your rival and best friend it's my job to make sure you grow strong together with me. I'm not going to leave you hanging like that. Ok?"

Hop stared at her a moment before looking away with a small pink hue to his cheeks nodding and you rose a brow at it. Wait a second. Was Hop...being shy? You didn't really have a chance to answer before Leon interrupted the two smiling.

"You and your pokemon all fought hard," he nodded towards them complimenting them, "Made me almost want to let out Charizard and join in on all the fun! Good effort out there, Scorbunny!" Gloria smiled as the pokemon in her arms chittered in approval. "Why don't I get you all sorted?" Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out a small candy like object and handed it to Gloria. "Here. Have him eat this. It should help the aching muscles from the battle. And, Gloria, you've got real promise!" Gloria stopped and blinked up at Leon in the middle of handing her pokemon the small candy. To which the scorbunny grabbed it from her and popped it into his mouth. "In fact, I've got a favor to ask you. Be a real rival to Hop, would you?" Both teens seemed to be surprised he would say that, but with memory coming back, you smiled and nodded. Knowing this would happen. "Push him, and make both of you stronger!"

...Gloria smiled. "Trust me. I'm WAY ahead of you."

"I already want to get stronger and stronger!," Hop pleaded quickly catching his brother's attention, "You've seen me battle now, Lee, so come on! You've gotta let me take on the Pokemon Gyms!"

"You? Join the Gym Challenge?," he asked arms crossed and brow raised tho the smile remained, "You think you're ready for the single greatest competition in the Galar Region? Not putting the cat before the Rapidash there, Little Brother?" Hop paused for a moment. "If that's what you really want to do, you two have a whole lot you need to learn about pokemon." He turned to Gloria for a moment. "Especially your friend, Gloria. Before you think about getting Gym Badges, Best to think about getting a Pokedex. A trainer's pokedex helps them learn lots of things about all the pokemon out there, including their strenghs." Leon explained to the two children. "But it's more than just a collection of data, you know. It's a record of a trainer's love and passion for pokemon training."

"Right, Right. We get it.," Hop waved a hand, "Pokedexes then! We're on it! Looks like it's off to the Pokemon Research Lab for you and me, Gloria!"

Leon smiled and nodded at his brother. "That's the kind of enthusiasm a trainer needs! I'll let the professor know to expect you."

"I'm going to be the next Champion, so completeing a simple pokedex will be nothing! Just another page in the tale of my legend!" Hop turned to Gloria for a moment. "You'd probably go tell your mum that we're heading out, though."

A shocked face suddenly came over her. "....OMG!! I forgot to tell her I even left for our battle!!" She looked over at you. "Y/n! I gotta go run over and tell Mum where I we are before she worries! Meet us there ok!" You opened your mouth to speak- She snapped back to Hop. "Go tell your mum and then meet me in front of my house, k!?" Hop quickly nodded and you watched as both children turned and skidaddled off. Hop towards his home and a door slamming indicating he rushed inside and Gloria rushing off down the path towards her own house. Leaving you standing there next to Leon.

After a few seconds he chuckled, and shook his head turning to you who blinked up at him. "Well, it looks like the both of us are stuck meeting those two at the research lab. Since we're heading the same way how's about you be my traveling buddy for a bit. I doubt I these two would be happy if I suddenly go missing in the middle of them receiving their first pokedex." He gestured a hand behind him towards the road.

The professor- OH RIGHT!! After the player managed to defeat Hop in both battles the player then would get a pokedex from the Professor and the Professor's granddaughter! Although you couldn't exactly remember her name. You guess it'd be the best thing to do considering the kids would be heading there anyways after they told their parents, so you nodded smiling and he smiled back.

"Great!" He nodded towards the road. "It's the building with the purple roof by the train station. I haven't seen Sonia yet since I arrived here anyways, so she should be surprised to see me too!"

SONIA!! Of course! That was her name! The granddaughter of the town's professor was Sonia! You wracked your brain as he turned and you followed him. You felt like you were forgetting something, but you couldn't put your finger on it even as the two of you went walking down the road and towards the hill towards the train station you first met him at. By the time you two were half way down the hill you had shrugged it off and continued to walk with him towards the train station. Must've have been that important if you forgot anyways. Probably just a random battle or gameplay thing. You could already see the research lab right next to someone's assumed home and you smiled. Well, in this town it must've been convienyet to just have everything within walking distance.

"So, how do you know Sonia?,'' you asked to keep up conversation as you two walked over the bridge leading to the train station.

He was happy to answer. "Oh me and her go way back. Actually she was my rival when I first started my journey to become the Champion I am today. I think you'll like her actually. She's really smart and a great cook to boot! Not to shame my mom's cooking, but if I had to chose between her's and Sonia's dishes, I think I'd have to go with Sonia's." He chuckled smiling widely and reaching a hand up to rub the back of his neck.

You chuckled along as you both turned right at the train station and kept walking towards the research lab. Walking past you heard and noticed a lot of people stopping to stare at Leon as he passed with you pointing, and he just smiled and waved to them. A few women swooning and giggling like fangirls as he walked past with you.

"Heh. You must be pretty popular with the ladies," you teased and you were surprised when he got a bashful look over his face.

"Yeah..Well I don't really have much time for really thinking about dating or anything. Being the Champion means more responsibility for me to handle. I'm lucky the Chairman gave me a few days off to sponsor the kids. Now a days you need a sponsorship by one of the main benefactors to compete in the Gym Challenge, and I wanted to help those two when I had the chance." You blinked vaugely remembering Gloria mentioning that and in the game some of the trainers were sponsored. But you supposed you shouldn't interfere with the game's progression if you wanted it to go accordingly so you should get back, so you nodded reaching a hand up to scratch the happily chittering sobble on your shoulder- before you bumped into Leon from not watching where you were going. But he seemed to dismiss it as he pointed up in front of the building. "AH! Here we go! Looks like I remembered the right way after all!" You blinked and looked up to the building in front of you. A pokeball was painted above the doorway and it looked like a fancy old cottage home with a purple roof, and a few leafy plants hanging off of it. OH! The Lab! You must've not been paying attention while thinking, Leon grabbed the door without hesitation and smiled. "Let's head on in then."

Before you could protest, he had already walked into the home and left the door wide open for you to follow. You looked at your sobble for a brief moment and it made an unsure face. Ultimately you decided to follow him in since after all you had been there before in game, so it couldn't have been much different in person right? On instinct, you closed the door behind you with your foot and ended up finding Leon standing a few feet away looking around at the place. So you looked around too and slowly got a sense of the area. Next to the door was a small kitchen like area with a sink, table with chairs, coffee pot, and a tea set sitting on said table. The walls and floors was a simple white, with a few table and desks covered in books, equipment, and what you guessed was whatever 'research' they were doing here with all the books on the shelves. Literally. There was a LOT of books with a staircase leading up to even more, and of course a few houseplants here and there. A lot more like a library than a lab to you really. You looked back to Leon as he whistled.

"I've got to give it to Professor Magnolia. Everything in here looks fascinating."

You had to agree. It didn't look like much, but it was a cozy place you could calmly read in. Maybe chill and listen to your favorite movies. You went to walk to stand beside Leon until you jumped back with a yelp as a yellow blue jumped out from right in front of you and barked like a dog. The sobble on your shoulder also let out a chirp in surprise ducking itself behind your head startled by the-.....Yellow dog??? What looked like a small yellow yorkie dog stood before you two panting happily and barking again at you excitedly.

"Hey there lil buddy!," Leon exclaimed kneeling down and reaching out to pet the small pokemon who gladly accepted his affection with a couple yips. "It's Sonia's Yapper. Which means she's in here somewhere."

And close she was. "What is it today, Leon?" You both looked up at the voice and the small Yapper turned around and barked happily seeing it's master. You blinked at the sight of an orange haired blue eyed woman standing above you on the upstairs level. Her orange hair was mostly tied in a side ponytail with a few heart clippies in it, a tan jacket, and aquamarine-lightblue clothes, and a pair of glasses sitting on her forehead. And a black bag around one of her shoulders. Hands on her hips looking down at you two. "Looking for info on another never-before-seen, superstrong pokemon? I wish you'd stop with these outlandish requests."

He opened his mouth to say something- "ACK!!" He turned his head away as the yamper jumped up and licked his cheek like a dog, causing Leon to laugh and stand back up shaking his head. "Good to see you, too, Yamper!" He turned his head as the orange haired lady came walking down the steps. "Yamper here is a real champ when it comes to helping you find your way around." He pointed to the pokemon who barked. "He came to my rescue plenty of times back in the day, when I got lost on the road. Oh yeah, and that's his trainer, Sonia!" He pointed to the lady who by now was at the bottom of the stairs and walking towards you two. The small pokemon barking and running over to her feet. "What can I say about Sonia? Well I like the way she cooks. She makes food you can gobble down in a flash."

"Tsk." He turned back to the woman with a smile as she suddenly stood before him arms crossed. "What kind of an introduction is that? Did you forget we were rivals during our Gym Challenge? It wasn't just Yamper helping you out. I did, too! "

He chuckled and reached a hand up to sheepishly rub his neck. "Yeah. Can't forget how many times you had to drag me to the right gyms for my battles?"

She rolled her eyes. "I still for the life of me how you end up in the most random of places. Seriously. The only place you never get lost to is the kitchen for a snack."

"Oh come on, Sonia. You don't have to be so mean." he pointed to you. "I even brought a friend to wait while we get the pokedexes."

Sonia looked over at you and the Sobble on your shoulder peeking out from it's last spook. "Are you one of the trainers Leon's sponsoring?"

"Wha- Oh no! This is Y/n. She's actually going to be traveling with one of the trainers I'm sponsoring. She just tagged along to wait for them...aaand to make sure I didn't get lost on the way here. Ahehe."

"Oh I see." ...A smile came back onto her face. "Anyway, nice to meet you!" She pointed a hand at herself. "Name's Sonia. I'm the professor's assisstant. It's very nice to meet you."

You smiled and waved a hand. "Hello. It's nice to meet you too." Your head did another look around the place ultimately landing on the glassed off area with plants. "This is an interesting lab you've got here.." You pointed at the area. "What's that?"

"Oh that?" She glanced to it quick before looking back to you. "That's the terrarium my grandmother and I sometimes conduct small environmental study tests with although it's not being used for anything at the moment." She pointed back to your Sobble. "Oh what a little cutie. It reminds me of the starter Sobble Leon was given by my grandmother for the trainers he's sponsoring."

The sobble chirped and Leon gave her a nervous chuckle. "Actually that IS the same Sobble Professor Magnolia gave me."

Sonia blinked to him faster than lightning and he gave an even nervous smile holding up his hands. "WHAT?! Lee! What's it doing back here then? Grandmother made sure you had the starter pokemon for three trainers!"

"Take it easy, Sonia. I'm not returning it." He held up a finger. "I-It's actually a pretty funny story."

She hummed. "Uh huh. I'm going to LOVE hearing about this." She started walking and you stepped aside as she passed one hand reaching up to rub her temples as the other one motioned for you to follow her Yamper at her heels. "Come on. I'll make you two some tea." You watched her go before looking to Leon who shrugged with that nervous grin and turned to begin walking towards where Sonia went, you following. "So. Mind telling me why the sobble we gave you is back here?" She asked grabbing the coffee pot and placing it on the small oven by the sink and reaching over to click it on as Leon and you came over.

"Well you see." He gave that nervous smile as she turned around to him brow raised. "Those three kids I told you about was reduced to two when one decided to go on a seperate journey instead of doing the Gym Challenge with the others. So Sobble was kind of an extra." He took a seat across from her as she went to sit down, and pointed to you and the sobble. "But luckily Y/n here was in need of one too so it kinda worked out for the best."

The sobble chirped happily as you took a seat opposite of both of them and shrugged. "I mean...It's better to have one now just in case right? Still kinda getting used to it."

"Oh that's right. Hop mentioned you never had a pokemon before like Gloria."

Sonia rose a brow to you. "You've seriously never had a pokemon before?"

You quickly shrugged and used the same lie as before as an excuse. "I had more interest in traveling really. New to the region."

Sonia hummed but nodded. "Well I think you'll find the pokemon here very interesting. Especially the dynamaxing battles?"

"......Dynamaxing?," you asked confused. That did sound familar tho. "What's that?"

"You DON'T know what dynamaxing is?," Sonia asked eyes wide.

"Oh boy. Here comes the professional speech," Leon smiled good naturedly and leaned back in his seat. Arms and legs crossed. You looked to him and was about to ask what he meant...only to get interrupted by a speech of intel by Sonia.

"It's known as the Dynamax Phenomenon. This phenomenon, in which pokemon take on gigantic forms, has only been obserbed in the Galar Region. Moreover, it only seems to occur in specific locations and under set conditions." You opened your mouth- "On the gigantification of pokemon, while the general principal holds that pokemon grow stronger and larger by evolving, it is also true that simply making oneself appear larger is another survival strategy with merit." You raised a hand- "But regarding the changes pokemon can ungergo. Pokemon do not only change in appearance when they level up. They can also do so through the use of certain items or under the influence of the area they live in, in some cases. It is hypothesized that some factor within the pokemon itself is what allows for these changes to their form and biology, but thus far, conclusive evidence of such a factor has not been found by researchers."

She finished with a smile content with her eyes closed and arms crossed, her Yamper not understanding but barking in total agreement anyways as you just....stared. Leon seemed to be the only one to make a noise as he chuckled in amusement at himself for Sonia seeming to break you for a long moment of silence.

".....So basically dynamax-whatchamacallit stuff is just pokemon Super evolving for a hot minute?..Cool," you finally replied seeming to make some kind of sense of what she just spewed out to you. Sonia stopped and stared at you. Leon however snorted and quickly covered his mouth, turning away to shake as snickers escaped his body as you blinked. "Was it something I said?"

Sonia gave her laughing friend an annoyed frown before clearing her throat professionally and looking back calmly to you. "Oh no. But trust me when I say that Dynamaxing in the Galar Region is more than just pokemon with super evolving. We're the only region in the world who's pokemon is able to do so. We still don't know why, but it's one reason why our pokemon battles are so popular around the world."

"So you guys like to brag about your region of super hero pokemon evolving into bigger super hero pokemon to gain viewers??"

"PFFFT!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Leon couldn't contain himself anymore. Arms coming to hug his middle as he half leaned over the table laughing his lungs out. Sonia back to glaring at him annoyed and you raising a brow. What was so funny? Isn't this basically what is was?...Well from you're point of veiw yes, but now that you're seeing these two, maybe it's just that serious to Sonia. "I-I-..." He wheezed. "I-I-I'm so-o-orry! Ahahaha! I've just never heard anyone say something like that especially to Sonia! M-Most d-d-don't even question what she says. Hahaha!" He coughed a few times covering his mouth as he started to come down from his laughing high Sonia still scowling.

"OH!" You held up your hands catching Sonia's attention. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to make you feel bad I swear."

Sonia huffed but shook her head. " Nevermind. It's fine. Some people." She side eyed Leon with the stink eye as he wiped his eyes coming back from laughing. "Just don't get how scientific research is."

"So what is it exactly that you two do here?," you asked trying to lighten the tension. Luckily it seemed to work as Sonia smiled back towards you.

"Oh. Leon's a right amazing Champion, and I'm basically just an assistant. I'm not even Gran's official assistant, either." She looked down to the table with an almost sad look, "I've just been calling myself one. Somehow, it makes me feel a little restless. ...But to really answer your question." She pointed back towards the desks and tables covered in books, papers, etc. "We do research on ancient history of the pokemon and dynamaxing phemnonenon. We also supply starting trainers in this town with their first starter pokemon, although this is the first time Lee's delivering them personally. I just hope that whoever he decided to give them too aren't reckless. No offense."

"None taken," you replied, "But don't worry. I think they'll be in good hands with the new trainers." You smiled.

"Speaking of those two, where are they?" Leon hummed and gave the door a curious look as if Hop and Gloria would burst through it any moment, before looking behind him at the clock on the wall. ".....It's been almost a whole hour. Telling Mum can't take that long, and surely they couldn't have gotten lost. That's my thing."

Yeah...That was kinda strange now that you noticed it. You mirrored Leon's expression with a raised brow and nearly jumped out of your chair when the teapot whistled. Making Sonia excuse herself to stand up and get it for the three of you. Hm. They SHOULDN'T have been taking this long to get here. Gloria was too excited, and Hop didn't have the patience to wait this long to get here....Something wasn't right. A heavy feeling settled on your guts as you thought long and hard. After the battle with Leon, the player and Hop were to receive their pokedexes from the Professor's granddaughter which was obviously Sonia but...you're mind went blank. There was something ...missing. Something you were forgetting. There was something that happened between these two events-...You're mind went back to the other day. A wooloo using tackle on the fence over and over- Your chair made a scrape sound startling Leon and Sonia as you shot up to your feet making the table shake a bit. Sobble chirping in surprise and clinging to your shoulder. Oh NO!! How could you have forgotten!? In the game the wooloo manages to break open the fence and then the player and Hop would venture into the Slumbering Weild to try and retrieve it, also encountering their first Lengendary Pokemon sighting of the game!!! But luckily Leon ends up finding them and escorting them back home but-..Your startled eyes cut to Leon who was confused looking at your panicked f/c eyes. Leon didn't know they were in there right now! This major difference in events right now could change the game and your chances to get back home and worse! THOSE KIDS WERE IN DANGER!!

Your hands slammed on the table and you desperately looked at Leon. "WE HAVE TO GO! THE KIDS ARE IN THE SLUMBERING WEILD!!"

"WHAT!?" Leon asked eyes wider than dinner plates as if you were far away and he didn't hear you.

You nodded. "They went there after this wooloo knocked over the fence leading to it by Gloria's house! We have to leave right now or else they could get seriously hurt!"

Leon didn't have to be told twice at the mention of his baby brother being in potential danger, only a panicked look in his eyes and he adbruptly stood and even you blinked as he raced to the door. Startling you into freezing for a few seconds before adreneline kicked in and you were right behind him. The door was already thrown open by the time you got to it, so you just followed he purple haired blur of Leon as he raced away from the house with you not so far behind. Sonia shouted something after you both but neither of you two noticed. How could you be so dumb enough to forget such a crucial detail!? Because of you those two could get lost or hurt in there! If a flock of giant bird pokemon wasn't bad enough then there was the gigantic legendary pokemon!!! You couldn't even remember what it was just that it was a legendary one! Dummy!! Sweat began to pour from your forehead as you raced after him away from Sonia's lab, past the train station, over the bridge, and up the path back towards the two kids' homes right after Leon who was must faster than you so of course no surprise the scared older brother would get there before you did. The sobble chirped and chittered in protest into your ears as it young onto you going past. Some people gave you both confused looks as you passed them but you didn't care. You just had to get to them and making sure they didn't get hurt. In fact you were so focused on running you hadn't even noticed Leon stopped until you nearly ran into him when he stopped by where the paths split up between the paths to both kids' houses. Instead you stumbled from the sudden stop and nearly collasped to your hands and knees. Panting, worried, heart beating against your ribcage, and looking up from your leaned over form to Leon who stood there and stared in stunned silence. What? Why had he stopped!? You looked towards where he was looking and froze upon realizing what he was looking at. I mean...you knew it was there and you knew it would happen, but you still froze seeing the open fence there. Leading down into a grassy field which lead into a fogging wooded area. More intimidating than the sunny fields behind you where the wooloos grazed.

"No.." It came out so quietly you weren't sure if Leon even spoke but you looked to him regardless. A look of horror, panic, and absolute FEAR on his face. "No...NONONONO!!" He suddenly darted forward again and stopped right at the fence entrance darting his hands up to cup his mouth. "HOP!! GLORIA!!"

His only answer back was the echoes of his own voice which eerily and spookily echoed back to him slowly fading out into the woods before them and even tho breathing heavily for breath you forced yourself to walk up next to him and in an urgent voice said. "We HAVE to go after them! They could be hurt!"

"NO!" He turned to you a determined scowl on his face. "I'm going after them! I need you to stay here in case they come back before I get out or in case I get lost and can't find them! I can't risk you coming with me and getting lost too! And if they come back and notice Im gone they might just come right back in looking for me!"

"WHAT?!," you blurted out, "But won't two of us searching make it easier to find them!?"

"I CANT RISK THEIR LIVES OR YOURS, Y/N!" He gave you a desperately look and you paused. In the game Leon's able to find both the missing children and runaway wooloo. Since everything thus far has been going accordingly then this should work out fine too, but if you go along and interfere-...They could all be in danger. So..it was safer for all of you if you stayed out of this. As much as it pained you, you nodded to him and he nodded. "Don't worry about me! I'll get charizard to fly me out if I need to! If none of us are back within an hour I NEED you to run back to Sonia and tell her what happened! She knows where to get the proper help!"

One finally nod was what he gave you before facing back towards the fence and darting off in a speed you thought no human could have. You only stood there and watched. As the thudding of his footsteps faded, and the figure of his body running away, soon being swallowed up by the fog of the Slumbering Weild. And you could only stand there and watch...How could've you had forgotten this? I mean, yeah you were pretty sure they WERE supposed to go in there and yes you WERE sure Leon was supposed to go after them in order for the game to be set on the right path-...But still, you probably would've liked to give Leon a head's up for this. In the game you had never seen him sport such a look of...fear. The champion in the game, even when he found the kids in there, always wore the 'Champion's Smile' because that's what he was programmed to do. Heck. In the game you never even saw how Leon discovered the two kids went into the Slumbering Wield. To you it wasn't a big deal because at the end of the day it was just a game you were following the story too...You never thought...you'd ever see the confident happy-go-lucky jokster older brother so wracked with fear. Fear you might have prevented. You weren't sure when you did it. But you ended up sitting on the ground, back leaned against the fence post with your eyes closed just-....sitting there for the longest time. Your sobble had long since gotten off your shoulders and chittered at you in question. Moving around the area but staying close to where you were sitting.

At one point it made a very OUD chirp and jumped onto your lap. "OOF!?" You opened your eyes to the blue pokemon and slowly blinked. "Hey! What was that for? Wasn't very nice of you!" It chirped again loudly and pointed past you and the gate glancing at something. Raising a brow tiredly, you slowly turned your head to see what in the world it was pointing a- Your sobble chirped a loud squabble when it tumbled out of your lap as you jumped up eyes wide and overwhelming relief washing over you. "LEON!"

Yep! It was the champion alright. His face a mixture of slight annoyance and extreme exhaustion. In front of him was Hop and Gloria to your surprise and relief. Both were avoiding eye contact looking extremely embarrassed, and....a wooloo trotting along with them. To think that all this commotion was started by one runaway wooloo. You shook your head, glancing to the chirping Sobble starting to clambor up your leg and towards your shoulder for a moment, before glancing back towards the Champion who sighed tiredly at you. Making your relief even more validated.

"What were you two thinking!?," was the first thing out of your mouth once the two children were close enough. I mean yeah this was supposed to happen, but it was still incredibly wreckless of them! Both children winced from your question and you were stopped when Leon held up a hand calmly.

"Now, now, Y/n. *sigh*" He sighed and reached a hand up to rub his face. "Everything's fine now. These two are safely back. The lost wooloo is found. And they know better than to go in there again." He rose a brow down at them, "right you two?" They instantly nodded mumbling some form of sorry as he nodded. "You both had your hearts in the right place, but the best thing to do was to come tell someone. If Y/n hadn't figured out where you two went, who knows what might've happened?" The two teens(mostly Hop) looked ashamed of themselves. "I'm not angry at you two." Both(again mostly Hop) blinked up surprised at Leon but he folded his arms with a frown. "But that doesn't mean I wasn't nearly scared half to death knowing two kids were running around a highly dangerous area by themselves. Now you two promise to never EVER go back in there again especially without telling someone again, no matter what reason."

"We promise, Lee!" "Yeah. I'm real sorry." The two agreed.

After continuing to stare at them with the frown for a moment, he sighed again and shook his head. "It's fine. As long as it doesn't happen again." Holding his arms out, he herded the two kids and wooloo out past the fence and looked to you. "I'm going to make sure these two get to Sonia. There's a limited amount of time they have for earning my endoursment and they still need their pokedexes...besides." he looked back to the wooloo who baaed at him. "Someone has to make sure this little guy gets returned to farmer Harry down town. Hopefully he'll keep this one from causing anymore trouble. In the meantime, could you close the fence?" He asked looking to you. "I can talk to professor Magnolia into issuing a stronger lock and chain for the gate."

You nodded thinking that was best. "Sounds good. I'll meet you guys there."

Smiling, Leon nodded and turned back to the kids placing one arm on each their shoulders before pushing them forward. "Come on you two. Let's drop this little troublemaker off and then get two a pokedex. The day's still early so you should have plenty of time to change my mind." As they began walking off he shook his head. "Boy Sonia's not going to believe this."

The kids didn't protest when Leon shuffled them away and you sighed. A hand coming to your chest, as you completely calmed. That could've gone a lot worse, but thankfully it all went according to plan and game. Sobble chirped having clambored back onto your shoulder and you reached up a hand to scratch it's head, to which it smiled and chirped happily at the affection. Now..for the fence. From the rush of adreneline eariler, you just decided to take your sweet time in grunting and pulling the heavy fence gate closed. That wooloo must've been stronger than Hop's if it was able to use tackle enough times to make this heavy wooded fence open all the way. The lock or whatever it was last used to keep it closed was no where to be found, so what you did was take a decently big rock and roll it towards the fence, it took all the strength you had to lift the fence up enough to shove the rock under the gate and lodge it enough to make sure it wouldn't move before letting go and observing your handy work. It...wasn't the best. If someone pushed hard enough or rammed their body against it, it would open, but at least it should stay closed for now until Leon could get the Professor to fix it again. Satisfied, you turned around and slowly began making your way slowly back towards the lab. Sobble on your shoulder as it lazily yawned. Whelp. Good to know someone was having a relaxed time at least. The walk all the way back there wasn't too bad. It was actually kinda peaceful listening to the wind and passing by field of wooloo baaing like sheep, and the streams of the two bridges you walked over to get to the lab. A few people gave you a curious or confused look as you passed but you paid them no mind, and wouldn't you know it, Leon was standing their waiting for you.

He smiled upon noticing you and when you got close enough waved. "Well done! You reached the goal and managed to find the Pokemon Research Lab! You did a far sight better than I did my first time. I'm hopeless with directions. I know I'm sure glad I got Charizard with me...to keep me from getting lost all the time."

You chuckled but stopped in front of him raising a brow. "I think I figured that out by now." You looked back towards the lab. "Are they inside?"

He figured you meant the two kids and shook his head. "Nah. They went up the road to Professor Magnolia's house. I just decided to wait for you so you'd know where to go...and so I wouldn't get lost either. ehehe...heh."

You blinked as he gestured with a hand and started walking and you followed beside him. OH YEAH! It was starting to come back to you. The player and Hop raced towards the Professor's home, catching a few new pokemon and battling one last time to convince Leon to sponsor them before the opening ceremony for the Gym Challenge! So far so good. "How was Sonia after you explained what happened?"

He groaned leaning his head back and crossing his arms, giving a closed eyed grimace as you two walked. "Not too good. She yelled at me about how rude it was to just run out like that without giving her a heads up, and then she got even more annoyed she's going to have to fix that fence. Hopefully no other wooloos get the idea to enter Slumbering Weild...." His eyes popped open for a moment before he turned to you with a look. "Speaking of which, how'd you know they went in there?"

"Um..." Your face was frozen. Great. Now you have to think of even MORE excuses. You shrugged. "Well like you said. I saw the wooloo earlier with the other two when it was trying to bust down the fence yesterday, and your little brother must really love wooloos by how much he talks about them....So it was just a lucky guess based off..wooloos??" Good gosh that was the lamest excuse ever-

"I see..." He smiled. "Well that was a pretty good guess. I can't say how grateful I am for helping Hop and his friend."

He waved a hand with a bashful smile. "Think nothing of it. I'm just glad I could help...So do you think they'll catch any pokemon on the way there?" You asked changing the subject. Thank goodness that was good enough to work.

"Probably. Lots of wild pokemon live near Route 2 in this town. They'll probably have to end up putting a few of them in Rotomi boxes."

".....Rotomi..boxes?"

"Oh right. I guess they don't have those over in the Kalos Region huh? Rotomi boxes are a sort of storage system for your pokemon when you can't carry them all around, "Leon explained, "You can find them in any pokemon Center. In fact you can find one in the center in town here. You recieve your pokemon from your boxes at any Rotomi you visit, too!"

"Oh. I guess that's how Pokemon storage works around here," you mumbled to yourself but Leon nodded with a hum.

"Yep! It was developed a long time ago when Professer Magnolia was just starting out as this town's professor. She's been a genius from the very beginning, Sonia's a lot like her."

"Oh wow. She sounds smart."

"heh. You're not wrong. It's going to be nice to see her again after so long."

Yo two walked peacefully down the cobblestone road, passing by lots of people who waved or took photos of Leon as he smiled and waved to them, and you guys had to stop a few times for a few little kids who either wanted a picture or autograph from the famous celeberty. Sheesh. It was sweet but you didn't think you'd be able to stand all the attention after a bit. You always much rather jam out to music or play video games....that was until your mother kept shoving studying and schoolwork into your face and most of that joy was replaced with visits to the lirbrary or studying quietly at home...Oh well. That was the reality of it of life, And you wanted to help pay your mum back for all the hard work she put into raising you without- You jumped when Leon suddenly pointed ahead of you and you silently nodded to his directions as he lead you. Hopefully he wouldn't be getting the both of you lost. You two were just coming over another bridge when you saw and heard the two teens again. Right next to the tall Route 2 sign. Both didn't notice you and had their backs towards you, so they didn't notice the two of you walking up from behind them.

"Over here, Gloria!," Hop suddenly pointed to the tall patch of grass in front of them on the road excitedly and Gloria looked just as excited seeing the small blurs running around in it. "All right, Glory! It's time to fill our teams a bit!"

"And I'm here to teach you how!," Leon exclaimed loudly from right behind the two. Both kids yelped and whipped behind them startled from you two walking up to them, "You'll need to catch pokemon if you've got any hope of filling in that pokedex."

"Lee!? Where'd you come from!?," Hop asked calming down upon realizing who it was.

Leon smiled wider as you smiled. "Well I thought I'd might as well meet you two at the Professor's while you two try catching some wild pokemon of your own, and wait for Y/n. It would've been unfair if she was left behind to bear the brunt of Sonia's anger." Leon then looked over at Gloria and as if reading her mind asked. "Only...look at you, Little Glory! You've already caught some on your own!" Hop's eyes widened and turned to Gloria who smiled proudly and nodded asking 'You did?!' "Your mum gave you those poke balls, did she?" She nodded again and Leon hummed....Before reaching behind him under his cape where you couldn't see. "I'll give you two some more poke balls. In return, I'll only ask that you catch plenty of pokemon."

''REALLY!?" Hop's eyes widened when Leon pulled out three pokeballs in each hand and held them out to the wide eyed teens who obviously took them. As soon as the smooth metal catching pokemon devices were in Hop's hands, his smile widened and began starry eyed at his brother. "THANKS! YOU'RE THE BEST LEE!!"

You couldn't help but smile at the sweet exchange between the three of them, and Leon chuckled before looking at the tall grass. "The pokemon around here seem easy to catch. Almost like they're itching to join some Trainer's team, wouldn't you say? But don't forget. Pokemon and Trainers alike gain experience from battling. Like how Gloria's Scorbunny learnt to improve it's Ember Move after your first battle. So this should be good practice for the two of you. Your teams will keep on changing and growing as you get stronger together, no doubt. But even I don't know exactly yet."

"WE WONT LET YOU DOWN, LEE!," Gloria exclaimed thrusting a pokeball into the air, "You're going to flip seeing what I caught on the way there!"

"Not unless I catch more than you, Glor."

Gloria gave Hop a challenging smile to rival his own. "Oh? Hm. Ill accept that challenge then dear rival!"

Leon chuckled again before waving a hand to catch their attention. "Well make sure you make it to the Professor's house before nightfall. " He jabbed a thumb behind him at you. "Ill just take Y/N here with me and meet the both of you there. Show your Champion something good, all right?"

"Sure, Lee!" "Aright!"

Both children agreed immediately before turning back to the tall grassy area in front of them and Hop pointed off towards the tall grassy area a few yards away from them. Gloria eagerly nodding before she took off after Hop when he ran for it pokeballs in hand. You couldn't help but smile. This was good. Gloria and Hop would have the chance to collect some more pokemon on the way to the professor's house like in the game and in turn you can relax now that you know they probably won't get in trouble from catching a few wild pokemon for themselves. You jumped when Leon cleared his throat and you looked to his smiling face as he gestured down the pathway as if questioning for your permission and you nodded at him. Matching Leon's pace as he set off down the path towards the Professor's home.

"Sorry if I ruined the chance for you to tag along with 'em,'' he apologized to you with an apologetic look to match, "But I really want to see how they can do on their own without any distractions or anyone holding them back. No offense."

You waved him off. "None taken. It's fine actually." In truth you didn't mind that at all. "You were happy to wait for them to capture pokemon instead of walking around after them all the way there after you were nearly scared half to death by the Slumbering Weild incident. And you didn't mind just waiting to see what they would catch. "In fact I'm interested in seeing the Professor. I don't think I met a Professor before."

He chuckled. "Then you're in for a treat! Follow me. If we don't end up lost, then it should be just down this road."

You chuckled and continued to follow him down the dirt path. Passing taller grassy areas and a few more trees showing the Professor's house was a little more far back into the wild life than the town. Must be a hassle to go to and from the Lab all the time you thought, even if it was within walking distance. At one point you were watching a small squirel pokemon with massive chuuby cheeks skittering past when your attention was once again caught by Leon. You looked towards him in question and he pointed ahead of him. Yo looked down the path and blinked. There was a small bridge with a white fence running along it over a river, a concrete battle area like the one at Hop's house was standing before the house which was also by a decent sized lake. The house itself was pretty lovely looking. It was a dark purple all over with green vines all over itself. You followed Leon all the way to the door of the home as it's shadow loomed over you. Without any hesitation Leon knocked rather loudly on the door and waited. A few seconds went by before there was finally an answer.

"Whoever it is come on in!," it sounded like an older lady's voice, like the kind you'd expect a grandmother to have, "The door's open!"

Without missing a beat Leon opened the door with a creak and threw a smile over his shoulder nodded towards the inside. "Follow me. You're going to really like Ms. Magnolia! She's a super nice woman!" You nodded and went ahead and walked inside. You followed right after him into a small space. Coats and shoes were placed by the door, with a stairway in front and a couple houseplants. "HELLO!" leon called as you slowly closed the door behind you. "Professor Magnolia! Are you in here?"

"Leon! Is that you, you old troublemaker?,'' came the elderly woman's voice happily from the left and you two turned your gazes past what looked like a kitchen area into a different doorway which lead to a blue room.

"Yeah! And I brought a friend if you don't mind!" He started walking towards the blue room and after a few seconds you slowly followed.

"Oh no. Not at all, dear,'' the old voice said as you two entered into the kitchen area and made your way closer and closer to the voice, "Any friend of yours is welcome, Young Lee." Yo continued to Follow Leon until he stopped in the doorway to the blue room and you stopped beside him blinking inside. The room was rather homey. The walls, ceiling, carpet, and some of the furniture was a blue. White cabinets lined the walls and they all either had some plants or some other decorative object set upon it. A few paintings hung off the walls, and against the far wall was a brick fireplace. And on one of the blue couches sat an elderly woman who could've been old enough to be your granny, calmly looking back at the two of you. She had grey hair held back by a purple-grey band, gold earrings, a gold necklace with a purple pendant, white lab coat and shoes, and a plain really light yellow dress. She held a cane that had some carved creature on the end you gripped, glasses, and green eyes. "Well if my glasses don't decieve me, I'd say that the Champion himself was standing in my living room."

"Professor Magnolia!,'' Leon greeted coming right in and over to her, she didn't even have to get up and reached a hand out for him to shake, which he did happily. "I haven't seen you in ages! HAHA!!" He let go of her hand and plopped down in the blue couch in front of her. "So have you unraveled all the secrets of the Dynamax Phenomenon yet?"

"Oh goodness no. The whole thing is still full of questions." the professor chuckled and sat back into her comfy couch. "And I'm very close to retiring too. So, so close. I'd hoped that my granddaughter would take over my research but..." She trailed off and looked away- "Hm?" And noticed you still standing awkwardly in the doorway. "Oh my goodness! Dear me, I'm sorry. I didn't even notice my guests! Please come in and have a seat young lady." She smiled gesturing to the spot next to Leon on the couch and you smiled politely taking her up on her offer. Walking in slowly and going next to Leon who scooted over to allow you some room. "My name is Magnolia." She greeted you with a smile that made you think of a grandmotherly vibe. "Welcome, young trainer."

"Thank you," you smiled politely. "My name's Y/N. Nice to meet ya!...But I'm not a trainer." You explained with a sheepish smile as your Sobble chittered and moved to plop inself ontop of your own head. "I'm more of a....traveler."

She hummed still smiling. "I see. We'll I'm sure you'll find lots of interesting things around here if you look hard enough. That's why I love my job so much." She chuckled. "Never know what you're going to find among the rest of the dust."

You chuckled too. "So what kind of work do you do? Leon told me Sonia and you work at the lab in town."

She shrugged. "Oh the usual. Pokemon anthropology and development. Medical research a bit. But I've mostly looked into dynamaxing."

"Oh yeah!" You jumped at Leon's loud voice startling the Sobble on your head enough for it to tumble off your head and into your lap with a loud squabble of protest. He didn't seem to notice as turned brightly smiling to you. "You must already know about Dynamaxing right, Y/n?" You nodded. " The Champion nodded towards the smiling woman. "Professor Magnolia's been doing research into the Dynamax Phenomenon for years and years. And it takes proper understanding of the thing if you plan to use dynamaxing to the fullest!"

Magnolia chuckled and shook her head at Leon. "There you go again, Leon, always talking about pokemon. There are other things that are worth knowing about, too, you know. Like how many different types of teas there are. "

"Ha! Says the Pokemon Professor?," he teased back.

She gave a sly smile. "Hmhmhm. Touche, Champion. But there are other things you enjoy too besides pokemon, aren't there?"

He let out a hum. "Yeah. Sonia's cooking."

"Well they say the fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach." She teased. "Getting a crush are we, boy?"

"Hey! C'mon, Professor! Any one likes a good dish!" He paused when his stomach let out a small rumble. "....Heh. Sorry." His smile became bashful. "Guess running around all day all over the place made me forget about lunch and dinner."

"You, Lee? Forget about food? My. How shocking." She chuckled at his grumbling pouting face before she grabbed the couch and, with the help of her cane, stood right up. "Well then. I guess we can get some tea to help pass the time."

"Oh wait!" You held out your hand as she started walking past you. "You don't have to do that, Professor. I'm fine really." You threw a look back over your shoulder as Leon gently grabbed you. "I've learnt that Ms. Magnolia is even more stubborn than Sonia. If she wants to do something, not even a million Dynamaxed pokemon working together could stop her! It's best we let her."

You went to argue-....But sighed and sat back down. Leon was right. You didn't know this woman outside the game you played as a teenager which was a long time ago, so it was best to let things be for now.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!

All three of you turned your head towards the door as loud fast knocks pounded from the other side of it making the professor hum. "Oh? More guests? I wonder they could be?" She started towards the door but you knew who it was already.

The Trainers had arrived.

#pokemon shield #pokemon sword #pokemon piers #pokemon swsh #pokemon sword and shield #piers x reader #pokemon piers x reader #reader

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goeymoey · 4 years ago

Text

What if you tricked me?

A BBS short! (Part 1/??)

Hope you enjoy :) !

——-

Nogla’s mic popped as he sat down in his chair. The signature black headphones already perched on his head.

“ Okaay, what we doin’ today boys?”

Miles away, in a different country, Tyler sighed. “ You really gotta get that mic fixed, man.” He turned on his web cam for emphasis and gave Nogla’s profile picture a frown. “ It sounds like shit.”

“ What do ya mean?” Nogla faked a whine. “ It sounds great! everybody loves the sound of my voice through this here mic! Am I rights boys?”. While turning on his web cam as he talked, Nogla leans back in his chair with both arms spread wide open.

“ I sound like a god!”

A neon green light highlights around Brian’s box as he snickers. “ Yeah...the god of shit!” Brian flicks his web cam on but, instead of being greeted with a smiling Irishman, he shows his middle finger.

Nogla sticks out his tongue. “ Shut yer fuckin mouth, traitor.” He crossed his arms with a pout. “ You’re the one who gave me the mic in the first place!”

Tyler and Brian lock eyes on the screen as the later smirks widely.

“ Why do you think that was?”

Nogla shrugs. “ I don’t know! I thought it was because you were being a good friend but-“ He gives Brian a hard stare through his screen “-OBVIOUSLY I was incorrect in my assumption! Hmpf!”

Another mic pop echos through the others headphones after Nogla’s shout, and it makes the two begin to snicker.

“ Sorry for trying to be a GREAT FRIEND and give you something of mine!” Brian says through a laugh. “ I guess I’ll go fuck myself next time!”

“ Shut yer cunt mouth you dirty-“

Nogla’s mic pops as it cuts off the final word to his sentence.

“- Next time I see ya, I’ll make sure to stick my foot up your dirty arse!”

Tyler bangs on his desk with a closed fist before taking off his head seat and walking away from the screen.

His faint laughter can be heard even as he walks out of his office and down the hall.

Brian smiles wide at the echoing laughter of his friend. He hunches over his keyboard, to be closer to the screen, as if he was about to follow Tyler himself.

“ You made the man leave the room, Nogla! how do you feel?”

Nogla scowls. “ I feel nothing towards any of ye cunts now...fuckin hate y’all...”. He mumbles. “ Especially-...Hey! Brock!”. Nogla cuts himself off as the discord ping of someone joining the voice call rings in his headset.

“ Just the man I wanted to see!”

Brock sighs and turns his web cam on. He stares at Nogla with a slack face of indifference.

“ Hey Nogla.”

The tall Irishman smiles wide. “ Did ya miss me?”

Brock scratches at his chin. “ No.”

“ What? Come on, Brock! I’m giving you all my love right here and you just-“ Nogla exaggerates his movements while shaking his hand in front of his face. “-give me this!” He slouches back in his chair. “ You give me nothing.”

Brock smiles. “ Okay...Hey Brian.”

The other Irishman smiles at the acknowledgment and tips his head. “ Hey Brock. How’ve ya been?”

“ Oh, y’know...” Brock holds in his laughter at the sight of Nogla giving him a deadly stare through the screen. “...same old things everyday, every night...the use’.”

Brian stretches his arms behind his back causing the bottom of his shirt to ride up a bit. “ Oh the woes of a single man in he early twenties. Never having any fun.” He rests back into his chair with both arms laying in his lap. “ Bet you wish you would have taken me up on that trip to Ireland, huh?”

Brock rubs at the back of his neck. “ Kinda...but not really.”

Nogla has given up trying to get Brock’s attention back and is now glued to his phone.

He mumbles something under his breath, but the other two males don’t catch it.

The door to Tyler’s office shutting muffles in the back ground of everyone’s head phones as the tall man comes stalking back to his chair. His attention is also focused on his phone, but his face is a mix of confusion and frustration.

He doesn’t reciprocate the others greetings and instead hastily shows the screen of his phone to the web camera.

“ Did any of you guys get this message from Evan?” Tyler’s grip on the blue cases phone tightens as he asks the question.

“ It says he sent it to me a while ago, but I left it down stairs.”

While listening to Tyler speak, both Brian and Brock brought out their phones.

“ Ummm...Yeah...” Brian starts awkwardly. “ I got a message from him too but...but it’s just a link with no url...” He mimics Tyler by holding up his phone to the web cam. “ It’s just a grey box...is that what you got?”

Tyler nods and sets his phone out of view from his camera. The screen facing up at him...just in case.

“ Yeah...it’s weird...How about you, Brock? Nogla?”

“ I got the box.” Brock shows the two his phone.

From his slouched position, Nogla mumbles. “ Same here.” His eyes stay glued to the screen. “ I already clicked on it, and it doesn’t seem...weird.”

The three watch as Nogla sits up and exposes his screen. “ I think it’s just a new game, or something like that.” He faces his phone towards him and then scrolls up on the screen. “ It’s like asking for my email and stuff like that so, I’m just guessing that’s what it is.”

Brock puffs out his cheeks. “ But what if it’s a virus?”

Brian shakes his head while tapping on the link. “ Evan wouldn’t send us a virus. He’s too smart for that.” His eyes shine against the brightness of the phone.

He flips up and down on the screen and then nods with a hum. “ Yeah, I think this might just be a new game for us to play. It all looks that way.....you wanna check it out togther?” Brian looks up from his phone. “ It says it’s multiplayer.”

Tyler purses his lips in an unsavory frown. “ I don’t know...it still seems a little sketchy.”

“ Aww, please, Tyler?! Please!” Nogla clamps his hands together in a plea while bowing his head. “ I’ve already set up my account and made my avatar! It’s too late to back out now!”

Brock huffs. “ Maybe for you.”

Nogla points at the screen with a strict finger. “ You shut yer fuckin mouth you god damn short prick!”

“ Hey! Don’t call me short!”

“ But you are!”

“ No I’m not! I’m 5’9!” Brock glares with his arms crossed. “ It’s like the average height.”

Nogla makes a ‘pft’ noise. “ That’s just what short people say! Now-“ bouncing up from his seat, Nogla waves his phone around dramatically “- hurry up and make y’all’s profiles before I start without ya! I’m getting bored!”

The others sigh at Nogla’s childish behavior, but fill out the link anyway.

It takes a few more minutes then Nogla would have liked- since Brian couldn’t decide whether he wanted his character to have blue or brown hair- but he refrained himself from succumbing to his impatience.

Brock was the last to finish his avatar with a worrying smirk as he tapped the ‘save’ button.

“ Okay, I’m ready. Who’s making the game?”

Nogla pipped up with shimmering eyes. “ I will you slow cunts! I’ve been waiting forever, let’s do this!”

Tyler rolled his eyes. “ It’s been like five minutes.”

“ Well, it felt like a long time!”

Brian scoffed at his friends whining. “ And yer just making it longer by complaining about it.” His arms sit across a wide chest as he laid back with the black cased phone sitting on his desk.

“ Just make the game already, jeez.”

Nogla huffed. “ I’m going I’m going....Okay, what are your guys usernames? The same as always?”

All three nod in agreement.

“ Yeah.”

“ Mhm.”

“ Weirdly, yes. I didn’t even have to change the ‘s’ in ‘Terroriser’ to a ‘z’ or add a 0.”

Brock hummed. “ Same here, and usually my names the first to go.”

Nogla rolls his eyes. “ Whatever, boring. It should be sending you an invite riiight....now.” He points to the screen just as three simultaneous dings pop in the others headphones.

“ The game won’t be able to start unless we all accept so, hurry up!”

Tyler looks down at the acceptance button suspiciously. “ I still don’t feel good about this...but fuck it! Let’s do this!” He taps the button and waits for the others to join.

Brock nods. “ Yeah, it might actually be fun!” He accepts the request.

Brian hesitates as he reads the short paragraph of rules before accepting.

“...this may be too much for some audiences...viewer discretion is-...I think this might be a horror game!” Brian exclaims with glee.

Brock’s face turns pale. “ A horror game? Does it say what it’s about? I didn’t read the warnings!” Brock looks down at his phone with worry as his free hand fiddles with his hair.

“ I wouldn’t of accepted if I had read that...”

Tyler snorts. “ Quit being such a pussy, Brock. It’s a mobile game. No mobile games are scary.”

“ Except for Five Nights at Freddie’s.” Nogla interjects.

“ That’s different.” Tyler responds.

“ How is that different? It’s a mobile horror game?”

“ It’s different because FNAF is based off of real life human things...like the fear that toys are alive or...yeah.” Tyler bites his lips in thought. “ Stuff like that.”

“ That sounds dumb.”

“ You’re dumb!”

“ Shut the fuck up, Nogla.”

“ No. You shut up.”

Brock sighs in irritation. “ Brian, hurry up and accept the invite before I blow my brains out from listening to these two.”

Brian absently nods as he reaches the end of the paragraph. “ Yeah yeah...im almost done.”

He taps the accept button.

“ I was just-“

“ Ooh Shit-“

The world turns black for all four men as their bodies slump down into their chairs. Phones slip carelessly from hands as headphones ride up on their heads and chairs creak beneath pounds of dead weight.

Tyler’s web came shakes as his head slams down on the desk in a dead black out. The door to his office jiggles behind him, but stays shut.

Brock’s head rolls back over his chair as his jaw unhinges to let his mouth hang open freely. The top of his headphones slide forward onto his forehead while his shoulders rise up on the chair.

Nogla’s arms simply drop dead and hang off the armrests of his chair while his head props up, unmoving, on his shoulder.

Brian’s body fully slips out of his chair as all dead weight transfers to the front of his seat and sends the furniture flying backwards. His camera also shakes as his body slams against the ground without trying to catch himself.

Then everything is still.

A green highlight appears around Tyler’s web cam as a bird chirps outside, but nobody moves and nobody talks.

...

Soon, their chests stop rising.

#banana bus squad #i am wildcat #dathi de nogla #the gaming terroriser #moo snuckel #fanfiction bbs fanfiction

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dahniwitchoflight · 4 years ago

Text

Homesquared Chapter 16

Alrighty, that was a fun tangent, now back to John it seems?

Oh, no, Narration of John (So Actually Dirk, speak of the devil and he shall appear and all that etc etc)

“ leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had. “

pfft lol so Im not the only one that thought it would be funny if that scene was interpreted in a Pale Romantic light, even though that really wasn’t what was happening

OIh! but we still get Roxy, just the other version of Roxy

Roxy subtly being like “hey!! shit has apparently gone down, were not exactly close atm but I feel bad about you dying to want to know if youre still alive so im gonna message you while trying to make it look like i dont care about it as much as I do”

JOHN: trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so

and the wonderful question is, what IS going be happening with you now John?

Roxy looking nice and casual, but also yeah narration, why are you making this ominous, its not like Roxy’s out here to double spy on behalf of Jane, I don’t think Roxys on her side THAT much

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out

ROXY: but so far so good

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Roxy once again being a master of hiding how shes feeling, even when trying to open up, feeling pretty stressed about whats happening with Jane, understandable, the exclamation points give it away lol

The narration is really trying to make John nervous though

OH lol that was the implication haha no lol John it obviously wasn’t that

“John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced? He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.“

lol once again, Dirk has no idea how to read Roxy at all and just trips over himself and his assumptions XD

Yeah, looks like Roxy not on the Jane train and is doing some takesies backsies, shes glossing over her feelings on the matter still though, I know thats par for the course of how Roxy tends to handle stuff too but I wish shed open up a bit more, but maybe shes playing the smart game, yknow, knowing that Dirk has a hard time reading her, so glossing over stuff is how you protect yourself against the narrative force, confusion and vaguery in the narrative and her actions only helps her to keep control over it, because at any point, you can decide to “clear up” any narrative “miscommunication” or “confusion” and lay down what is it thats actually happening with you any time you want

Void working in the behind the scenes to do what they want

JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE.

JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house?

JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self?

JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know?

JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something?

JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames.

JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it.

JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late?

JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.

JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good.

JOHN: but that’s just bullshit.

JOHN: it DID feel good.

JOHN: i DO feel free.

JOHN: sorry.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize

ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn

JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Im pretty sure you’re talking about a gender thing John, like, very 100% sure now this is what’s happening

because if you were actually a girl, of course you’re dad leaving all these notes about how one day hes gonna be so proud of the man youll become, yeah, that can feel a little pressuring, even if your dad didnt mean it like that, since he was unfailingly the kind of dad just bumbling around trying to understand their kid as best they could and leave encouragements everywhere, thats what his intent was, but all his notes come off a bit wrong in particular issues

remember the note under the fridge that was all like “SON. IF YOURE READING THIS NOTE, YOUVE FINALLY BECOME STRONG ENOUGH OF A MAN TO PICK UP THE FRIDGE.” not exactly that but that was always the vibe Dad’s little notes always had

Yeah, i can see how John would view it as a bit off, but if he hadnt the self awareness to realize it was a gender thing at the time, hed be understandly confused as to why such a thing would bother him

now though, he’s realizing, maybe, he doesn’t exactly want to be the man his dad always encouraged him to be

John does seem a lot happier here in his convo with Roxy than he did on his own when the house was burning, that conversation with karkat left me wondering if John was about to start dissociating he was so down, but here he says he feels freeing and happy about it?

ROXY: but like now that u mention it

ROXY: *meaningful pause*

JOHN: …

JOHN: i

JOHN:

John’s beginning to question stuff, or acknowledge that he’s questioning stuff, cuz it’s true, and hes feeling happy about it, in a way that he wasnt before, but he hasnt quite connected the dots here between the happy feeling and what exactly he has to be happy about

ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push

ROXY: we both got sick muscles

ROXY: no other adjectives necessary

JOHN: yeah ok.

Yeah Roxy’s 100% picked up on it, and maybe Dirk has as well if the narration is commenting on it

Alrighty then, to the secret lair under the bed!

oh I just noticed how kind of cute and interesting Roxy’s nickname for Harry is, “Lil H A” Harry Anderson shortens to Ha like laughter haha

and if Harry had Roxy’s last name, it’d be Harry Anderson Lalonde

Lil HAL

lol what is Callie doing under Roxy’s secret bedchamber XD

This whole secret bedchamber thing is turning into one big metaphor isn’t it?

That thing behind the curtain kind of looks like the Attic Portal shape from Hiveswap though

that’d be neat if that was it, like obviously we knew one of the cherubs had to have something to do with that portal just going by the design of it alone

Honestly it makes sense that Callie is doing it under the curtain of Roxy’s Void, it’s honestly the safest place to do something like that

lol Calliope has grown past writing fanfic about shipping and being in love, now the drama of broken relationships and divorce is all the rage XD character growth? haha

CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.

CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point.

Calliope just burned him harder than his childhood home’s destruction

CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.

have you been talking to Jake lol (I mean, probably Original Grandpa Jake tbh if that portal is actually the portal)

Alright so John is getting caught up on the major plot points, Earth C is indeed in the large black hole, his choice didn’t matter since both choices happened anyway yadda yadda

CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip.

CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads".

CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads.

yup yup yup pretty par for the course of timesplits in homestuck so far

CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are".

yup, this is true, the ending’s of both referenced the others, so it’s disingenuous to say one is “canon” while the other isn’t

one is simply in the realm of actual possibility, the other is in the realm of unlikely possibility

More than likely, John would have chosen to leave and go die and be the hero like in Meat, but there was still the possibility that he would stay, even if it was unlikelier than the other, but since both were possible choices for him to realistically make, both actually happened for real

CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity

that’s interesting, so there’s the original meteor that crashed into the surface of Earth C, and it’s in here that the singularity of what I don’t wanna call the Green Hole to match the Green Sun when I wanna talk about this specific Black Hole lolol

but yeah, here in this meteor lies the crux of the paradox it seems, interesting, also interesting again, this is where that Hiveswap Portal is

Hiveswap does have a plot point of “Joey must do thing in 11 days otherwise Earth and Alternia will be destroyed” and the only known destruction event of Earth and Alternia so far in canon is the Green Sun’s Creation from the destruction of both universes (and then later Callie’s destruction of the green sun into the black hole) so is Hiveswap gonna be a factor in the green sun’s destruction/creation as well? (Joey has the symbol of the Green Sun for a reason, I’m super curious as to what factor Joey has in relation to the Green Sun’s Existence, We still don’t know what the fact those black monsters are too, they’re like nega-first guardians, the kind of things that look like would come out of a Black Hole that came from the Green Sun tbh)

It’s all inter-related I tells ya

ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love

JOHN: aw.

You say that now but

CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them.

CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish.

CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart!

CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been.

yeah that’s basically how this multiverse’s reality works, the future is a thing that already physically exists, just in a different location in the universe somewhere else

time travel and spacial teleportation could be said to be the same thing all along

that’s why violating the events of the future has actual consequences, because its like asking to go somewhere that doesn’t exist but how has to exist because it’s the future, too much of that and reality starts cracking at the seams to make room

same thing happens with sessions and playing sburb

the planets and dreaming moons and all that simultaneously have always existed here, and started existing only because the player played the game and the planets were generated upon entering a session, but to the player involved, it looks and feels like you are just being teleported to a different location in the universe, because you also kind of are

CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary.

CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence.

CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon.

CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist!

So you’re just in a little seperated bubble, that’s not connect temporally to any other place of existence, you aren’t anywhere in the past or the future of anywhere else

nowhere leads here, and here can not lead outwards either, theoretically, and yes it exists, so it must also

JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...?

CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal.

CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific.

JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that.

CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U

CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley.

CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u=

CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So someone else definitely has managed to do such a thing

JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything?

JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal?

CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not.

CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm.

JOHN: oh.

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.

CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.

CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u

JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

yeah, so because here in the black hole neither affects the past or the future of anywhere else, being so disconnected, they are technically free of the reigns of the Alpha Timeline that exists elsewhere in the multiverse

the Alpha Timeline now being understood to simply mean, The Narrative

Things are the way they are because they are thus written to be so

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth.

CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher.

ROXY: its total bs is what it is

CALLIOPE: right, yes.

CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite.

CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Hmmm. It’s a dangerous idea to be playing with for sure, to decide all the black pieces in the game of chess suddenly become white, it is a very flip turning of reality upside down to be sure

To be honest, I’d think you’d need a powerful Doom player at your disposal to even try something like this

or actually, a powerful Doom user would be most likely to shut this entire thing down, knowing how bad of an idea it’d be, maybe it’s more you need a powerful Life player to do something like this instead

is that also why Dirk viewed Jane as an ally then? She would technically have the kind of power to upend the black and white doomy laws of reality if driven to her full potential, i mean obviously yes, we know this already because of the candy colored I-can-do-whatever-I-want-with-no-consequences lollipop

Is this what Calliope hopes to achieve with the Hiveswap Portal then? her goals for Joey and friends are to be the ones to prevent their universe’s twin destructions, and thus the Green Sun’s initial existence and then also the destruction into the Black Hole after the fact? that would be one way to prevent the Black Hole from existing, making it so the thing that creates the black hole never exists either

and that's certainly a canon event that would be difficult to tear asunder without major consequences

That would be a “Re-writing Homestuck from the very beginning” level of canon event

And if I’m correct, Joey is theorized by me to be a Mage of Life, if any classpect at their full potential was gonna do something like that, or have the impossible knowledge to something impossibly paradoxical like that, well..

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh

ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then.

ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense

ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail

CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.

ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point

CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan.

CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.

CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.

CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.

CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?

I mean yeah! makes sense! Johns major factor here is Freedom, Vriska’s is Importance

and yeah, I can think of no other wholly dramatic event that to mess with stuff with the Green Sun, everyone will have eyes on that, they have to, their whole existence the way it is relies on it

But, they could also mean something else, its only condition is that it has to be something so imflappably impossible, something so not-canon and so outrageous that it basically horse-shoes around to the other end of the canon spectrum to being something that truly exists again

and that could be literally anything and it’s nerve wracking and exciting to see what thing theyre gonna come up with to just directly kneecap Homestuck itself

ROXY: thx babe

ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or

JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine.

(yeah that’s because Babe can be construed as feminine June)

so, I’m basically convinced they’re doing June Egbert now

that to me was like, pretty severely on the nose

John: Hey Roxy, what it does mean when you find a sense of freedom when all of the symbolism of the masculinity surrounding your childhood burns down around you

Roxy: idk It’s probably a gender thing man

John: I didn’t say the word gender-

Roxy: It’s ok babe no pressure, we can hash it out later

John: Hmm, later then. :)

Roxy: (Turns and looks towards the camera with a knowing smile)

shit all that imagery makes me think of Roxy as that picture of the small kid smirking at the camera while a house burns in the distance XD

#Homesquared #june egbert #john egbert #yeah theres no way there not gonna bring up June Egbert as a apossibility now #Roxy couldn't have quirked her eyebrows harder at the fourth wall if they had tried #Homestuck #I'm basically convinced now lol #that plus my reaction to chapter 14

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