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i3utterflyeffect · 5 months

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hello!! yeah sorry I should have specified which au I was talking about

mhm I would love to know more about your dark color gang au! /gen

─ the pop in pop out-anon .

OKAY SO BASICALLY!

dark and chosen are probably on the run at the time, but they end up somehow running into the color gang WAY earlier than they would initially and end up raising them!

The color gang are already friends, but they're more likely than not an outernet stick rather than an internet stick? they don't exactly have any place to stay or parents either????

SC meanwhile is most likely a doodle that escaped from Alan's computer while he wasn't at his desk (still no clue how) but they didn't really know where they were when they were created, and all Alan really knew was that the file disappeared into nothing?

He mostly forgets about it though, since, well. It just kind of vanished. a file can't just do that. and the ALTERNATIVE is not great, because he still remembers dark and chosen.

anyway, the color gang ends up taking in SC as part of their group is the important part!!!

even though i've drawn them meeting because the kids were staying in dark and chosen's house, i actually do think they'd probably scout locations, because i imagine they have a lot of trouble with SC due to them being a hollowhead, and people don't exactly have a great view of hollowheads. you'd think they wouldn't take it out on kids but since TDL is still around and it's been less time since their reign of terror, sticks are a LOT more agitated about it

most likely they run into half the group while the other half (usually green, the other half of the group cycles though) is back holding down the base with SC

anyway Dark and Chosen are actually nice to the kids (because yeah. they get it. being on your own in a world that doesn't like you is scary, esp when you have 0 experience with life) but one of them realizes that they're hollowheads! both of them expect the kids to freak out and run off but actually they're pretty happy to see someone who won't immediately freak out upon seeing SC!

they bring the two over to SC (potentially because SC had been hurt or something) and they're immediately just 'ah, fuck, we can't just leave them here in the city,' so they decide to bring them back to their house!

of course the others insist on being brought along so despite some arguing they do eventually give in, thinking that they'll find somewhere else for them to stay and just let them visit SC every now and then. spoiler alert: this doesn't happen and the CG just ends up living there with them lol

chosen and dark essentially take the group under their wing in everything though, teaching the bunch of them and taking care of them and eventually coming to refer to the group as their honorary siblings due to their friendship with SC! they also take an interest in the crime side of things (much to Chosen's despair and Dark's delight) and they end up causing a lot of terror themselves!

Yellow and Red typically work with the virabots, with Yellow using some other tech as well since Dark encouraged them to work with technology a lot! Red generally does work with any semi-sentient robots though, since they really like doing that stuff!

Blue makes a lot of explosives and stuff! they've accidentally blown up a ton of stuff (including the house multiple times!) and generally is more destruction-based than the others, but they can do controlled destruction if they really have to! Chosen can be a little rough on Blue since they cause a lot of collateral damage, but they're pretty flexible!

Green generally is a melee kind of person who does more focused work or hangs out in the background! they're usually the planner or if a plan needs doing by a specific person, they usually take that over! they do more focused fighting in general!

also, i don't know if i've mentioned this, but Dark doesn't use the Virabands just for Virabots in this au! they actually made the Virabands for the kids!

the virabands override admin permissions on a computer, preventing the sticks from coming to any harm involving a user trying to forcibly quit their programs or any sort of antivirus trying to get rid of them, and also preventing them from being 'tamed' similarly to Chosen!

this will be important later BUT!!!!!! i wanna talk about the gang's relationship with each other first!!! specifically the most interesting ones; yellow and SC!

first off, Yellow is very close with Dark, since they learned almost everything they know from them! they share interests so the two spend a lot of time together! they really value each other's company since they think a lot alike, and it makes things very hard when conflict starts to happen between them.

SC meanwhile is kind of under a lot of pressure! she's kind of considered the baby sibling of the group, and the others are really protective of her, but at the same time, she's under a lot of pressure to unlock her powers! Chosen and Dark are unintentionally kind of suffocating for him, and he can't really get away from them because they still view SC as their fragile little sibling.

SC still can't access their powers, but they can do a minimal amount of electricity if they really try or are particularly stressed. It's not really enough to hurt anyone, but it'll stun you.

SC loves everyone a lot, but finds them pretty overwhelming in general. Also their favorite sibling between the older two is Chosen because Chosen is chill about things and lets them sleep.

It's also worth mentioning that he does really want to seek out his creator! She feels like if she understood why she was made, it'd be easier to get her powers working. He ends up taking an interest in humans despite the other's discouragement, too.

ANYWAY! ALAN! Yes, Alan's here!

They get permission to go to user desktops from Chosen and Dark, so long as they bring things to defend themself with and also tell Chosen and Dark! (they do tend to ask what IP address they're going to, just to make sure, but they don't realize that the kids sometimes computer hop)

and eventually, they find themselves on Alan's computer! Alan isn't able to force quit SC's friends, so it's a lot less heated, but he does end up cornering a lot of them, before SC ends up finding the pencil, and Alan subsequently finds out SC can talk!

after that the whole thing kind of defuses because SC thinks the pencil is cool and Alan not only thinks that SC is great at art, but is also kind of shocked that they can talk! they end up getting along pretty well, and Alan lets them hang out as long as they promise to at least TRY to not break the computer. They're actually a little bit better than they are in canon, but they're still pretty bad about it lol

Alan does kind of become kind of a home away from home for SC in particular, and they end up visiting him a lot to just draw, talk about the things happening back home, help him learn how to draw-- all that stuff! they care about Alan a lot and Alan ends up treating them like an actual person, since it's a lot easier to recognize that they are when they talk about their life outside of the computer.

of course, this can't stay secret forever.

I think that eventually, Dark finds out the CG is at his computer, and tries to wreck his computer completely, even though the others are still on it. Dark's basically lost it on Alan because in their eyes he's manipulating them (and they know that he's capable of that considering they initially were on his side), and the CG is trying to stop them and have to go to Chosen, and it blows up into this whole thing

it's possible Dark actually ends up hurting the others, and SC in return ends up hurting Dark-- not to the degree of what happens in canon but it's just messy and painful for everyone, and the CG kind of have to spend time away from Dark while things cool down, and Chosen kind of has to sweep up the mess and explain everything that's happened, including WHY it was so upsetting

it's kind of messy for everyone to fix, but after realizing that the others trust Alan more after what happens Dark really realizes they completely fucked up, and tries to fix what they did, but it takes time.

they mostly move to Alan's computer for a while, but they eventually do reconcile!

that's all i've got for now but i do like this au a lot, it's one of my favorites thus far i think and i've been having a lot of fun with these guys ✌️

#tommy's foolery #tommy's stickmen tag #tommy's aus #dark color gang au #i've been considering a splinter au because i think king getting caught up in this would be funny #but i don't want it to be like. a whole thing that happens in the actual au #splinter aus are generally just what i call one-off little ideas that i do not rlly put together with the larger piece and main stuff #but would be fun to rotate anyway just because damn wouldn't that be fucked up or what

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lunchtimebedamned1997 · 4 months

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Cosplay WIP and Doodle Dump >:3

Haven't really been working on a bunch of digital art lately bc I've been busy working on cosplays and crying over Stolitz XD

But I thought I'd show you all what I've been working on since I'm really excited about it! <3 (So many updates :D)

Let's start with Helluva doodles!

I finally started drawing Blitzø and Fizzy-Frog! <3 Fizzy looks so much healthier in the newst ep I could CRY ohhh my goddd. And both Fizz and Blitzø look so dapper! Little cuties! Little cuties who are friends again! My heart!

Next up: Cosplay props!

We've got a lot of stuff for the Vees, and then a liiiitle bit of Angel Dust progress to show y'all!

Let's start with Vox since I only have one main thing I've made so far!

I had an old pair of headphones that stopped working, and I'd already worn them to costest Vox (since I'm not going for the TV screen approach) and so I thought I could give them a makeover! I decided to do the symbols from his silly little hat, and paint the microphone tip to resemble the little red bauble at the end of his antenna!

I just sanded the labels off, painted everything in acrylic and then sealed it with clear nail polish, pretty simple stuff, but I'm really pleased with the effect! And I think it will be a nice touch for the costume! <3

Now onto Valentino! I have the most stuff for him so far bc everything that wretched man owns is cool AF and I wanted to make, like, all of it XD

I started with the guns from 1x02 ala: "Which of these makes me look sexier ;3" since I thought they were both pretty iconic and I definitely want to film that little clip once my cosplays are ready to go hehe

(My reference Image ^)

This pink one is definitely my favorite, both in the show and based on how it came out in the end! I've only ever built one propgun before this for Jinx, so it was really fun to get back to it again! Lots of math and measurements, but luckily I'm a little racoon creature who hordes recycling like my life depends on it XD Even though he actually bedazzles another gun in the meeting room in 1x02, I was not about to make a third one in the span of two weeks, so I decided to just put it on one side of the pink, and I really love it tbh!

The gold and grey definitely looks a bit more... cardboard-y, but I'm okay with it tbh, I don't love the design of this one as much, so I probably won't be using it on it's own as often as the pink! But I still think it turned out well overall! Especially bc by the time I got to this one my exacto-blade was crapping out on me hardcore lmao

I also have two hand options ready for Valentino! I noticed that sometimes he has gold claws, and sometimes his hands are fully black, so I thought it would be good to have a couple options!

I went ahead and ordered some pleather gloves which I think work really well for him on their own, but then I also took some fake nails and layered them with gold acrylic paints and clear nail polish to make his 'actual' hands. I figured if I need a particular close-up for a shot it would be really cool to use black facepaint on my skin, and then have these nails stuck on! I just used eyelash glue to test out affixing them last night, and I think it actually worked super well!

Since the nails are pretty, well, claw-like I don't want them on all the time, but I still need them to stay when I'm moving around in costume, and I think the eyelash glue is kind of the perfect things for my at-home cosplay needs! I'd definitely want to do something stronger if I was going to a con in these, but yeah - XD I'm rambling, anyways -

Let's move onto Velvette!

I had an extra set of gold nails I'd made, that I was originally planning on attaching to the gloves (I did not like how that looked lmao) but I didn't want them to go to waste, so I used some of the little gems and do-dads that I had laying around to make them match one of the bra-tops I'm planning to use for Velvette! (Yes that sparkly orange and pink thing on the left is what I tried to match it to!)

I have a plethora of blank fake nails now, so I think it would be really fun to make a pair that matches each of Vel's outfits! I hyper-fixated on nail art for a couple years when I was a kid, so I'm really excited to play with those skillz again lmao - especially because I can use acrylic paint for these instead of nail polish which really cuts down on cost and expands my color ranges exponentially!

The last thing I have to show you for the Vee's specifically is the wigs I ordered for them! (I want to scream, I'm so excited!!!!)

(All of these are from Wig Is Fashion btw, notspon or anything I just have really loved their wigs so far! I really hope these three work well!)

Finally, my gloves for Angel and a couple of my colored lights for filming came in, so I just threw on one of the outfits I have ready for him, the wig I styled, and the gloves to get a feel for how it was coming along :3

I think I want to get different little shorts for this look (maybe pleather?) and figure out a couple other details to add in, because I feel like there is currently too much 'blank' space in the look. I'm sure that will be lessened by the makeup, set, etc. But I want to make sure the extra looks I have for characters still feel 'designed'/styled well, obvi.

Anyways! Lots of work to do, and I still need to buy a new sewing machine so i can make some of the actual outfits from the show, but it's all a process lmao

I'm planning a full-on Angel CMV atm, as well as a ton of other videos, but that's all a ways away lmao, I wanna really put effort into it which means time haha

I did already post some little Cherri, Angel, Vox and Charlie closet-costests to my TT if y'all are interested! I've also made Millie and Blitzø horns, but tbh I just can't be assed to get pictures of all of that rn XD if you look at the most recent (as of rn lmao) 'cosplay updates' vid that's up, you can see the horns, wigs etc that I didn't show in this post!

My main links are all right here if you want 'em: https://lunchtimebedamned.carrd.co/

And with that I'm going to go have brain-off time LMAO I've been working non-stop for weeks on this. I'm also sorry to anyone waiting for the Ch.4 update on The Space Between Us, this chapter is deciding to be very slow-going and difficult. IRL stuff is probably heavily contributing to that, but oh well. Know that I am working on it <3

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dimeadozencows · 5 months

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I was looking back at your past Gaster content from your old account (specifically the pieces where he’s interacting with other Narrators from other games), and I feel that the Narrator from Slay the Princess would be a natural addition to the gang.

In fact, I’d argue he’s a lot like Gaster in many ways.

I'm so sorry it took me so long to get to this! I wanted to give this ask the attention it deserves but i've been super busy- then had a few weeks off and decided to relax- but i'm doing it now!!

First of all, i've known about slay the princess for a while now, but because it's such a long game (and it seemed fascinating so i wanted to sit down and appreciate it) i didn't have the chance to watch a playthrough until recently (this ask was what pushed me to finally do it, so thank you!)

This game is seriously fascinating- its genre subversion pushed to the max and i seriously enjoyed every part and route- to avoid spoiling the game for anyone i'll continue after the cut :’))

Idk if i agree with the stp narrator being similar to gaster- we don't know gaster yet!

The narrator barricades the world, lies to us, hides the truth just so we’ll continue on with an impossible mission- one that he deep down knew was an unwinnable battle. The narrator was a delusional mortal man who wanted to free the world of the inevitable pain that comes with life- those are a lot assumptions placed on my peepaw

I'm not saying that there's no way he’s at all similar to him, he might be! That's the thing about not knowing who he is or what his plan and goal are yet! But so far, to me, Gaster seems like a nice and caring powerful being who loves watching us do what we want in his world. He might've been the one to make it so our choices don't matter, and if he was then yeah they're kinda similar! But idk. We don't know yet :’]]

But if i misinterpreted this and you're talking about vibes then yeah of course sdshdjs,,, romance repulsed gaster for the win he’s british too they're twins separated at birth. Although the narrator lacks gasters innate silliness imo

Also my favourite voices were the cheated, the smitten, and above all, the paranoid :’DD definitely didn't start whisper chanting 'heart, lungs, liver, nerves' as a vocal stim. (\sarcasm, totally did) and my favourite princesses were all of them

Anyway, some doodles cus i miss him hehe

The story and vibe of Slay The Princess is so gorey and horrific compared to their games. They'd be scared i think lol (this is gaster and The Narrator from The stanley parable btw)

(Also i feel the need to mention that i DON'T believe gaster is the narrator in Undertale/Deltarune, i just like drawing him interacting with other godly and omnipresent silly beings in media i like lol)

#gaster #the stanley parable #slay the princess #my art #the adventure line connecting through the images was a happy accident thats so cool shjdjfkf #also i don't interrupt the Stanley parable narrator as the adventure line #its just there :] its having fun following the narrator through worlds :]#awesome people being nice #i JUST realized i posted this on 4/27. Stanley day. happy birthday Stanley <3

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spookyuu · 2 years

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Appreciation Post!!

I've seriously been wanting to make a big post appreciating some of the dca content creators that I love (especially after getting to know some of them better) so here's a bunch of compliments and thoughts on them! (Also this is in no order, ily all very much ❤)

@madame-mongoose: Monnster!!! Oh, I love Monnie. Very bullyable (this is a pro). Always so funny and making me laugh. When Monnie comes online, I know there's gonna be some fun times to be had. Easy to talk to and my clone apparently. I wouldn't have made all these new friends if it weren't for Monnie and Sy, so I'm very appreciative of her uwu. Art is very shapely, bendy, very cartoonish in a pleasing way. And very unique to Monnie! I don't think I've seen anyone else with an artstyle like Monnie's. Characters are juicy, very well thought out and full of pain. Your mom.

@suokumi: You came crashing in one day and life has never been the same. Suo is full of love and passion and awful terrible disgusting sleeping habits. But they make up for it by telling everyone else to take care of themselves because they love you sososo much. Really talented, but don't tell them that or else they'll die. Anyway yeah, Suo Art my beloved and also Suo my beloved because we're married. Can bust out 50+ sketches in an hour and is like "dont look" even though I'm frothing at the mouth and shaking them. I love you Suo mwah ❤️

@opudontdonut: La Creatura!!! Bites everyone like watermelon. very fun, very gremlin. Pops in every now and again and throws everyone into a frenzy. A biting frenzy. Good Gaslighter. Take that as you may. Draws chibis really unique in a way I cannot replicate but is so so so so cute. Art is very distinct too!!! The line work especially is very noticable? Thick black lines. Draws the boys v skrunkly too. Nightmare and therapy au my beloveds.

@ariisonfire: TALENTED!!! Very, very talented. Animates, codes, arts, does just about everything and is good at it. Very funny doodles, very dorky. I love Ari!!! Very cute (cutest giggles this side of uh. Idk just really cute giggles) and provides me with Vector content. My spouse, no matter what Lily says.

@skittlewaffle: LOVE the way Kay draws the boys. Her art in general is so sharp and intentional. Precise. Very cartoony as well, good for animation me thinks. Has good AU ideas and brainstorms really well. Literally. The fucking paragraphs kay busts out that obliterate my mind. Also very fun person to hang out with, very silly.

@pillowspace: Beautiful, wonderful person. Somehow manages to draw on her 3ds??? Like a god?? Loves rotini (eat something else I'm begging you) KEEPS FUCKING REBLOGGING MY WATERFALLS PIECE Also has similar brain thoughts as me (ooie to Angel Tango jumpscare) Has a beautiful voice, fr. Sang a song for me which melted my little heart. Makes gut-bustingly funny gifs at the speed of light. Also says??? Things that make no sense but are very funny.

@vilz: Oof, what's not good to say about Val? You know that meme that's like "You're the funniest mother fucker on this webbed site" that's Val. Val's the funniest. Their comics always make me bark laugh like an idiot. Writes very poetically, reading their stuff is like. Like being punched but with a soft caress. Val art is good for the soul, me thinks. Even their doodles on receipt paper give me all the chemicals. Hanging out with Val leaves me smiling for the rest of the day, very fun company.

@cloudyvoid: SUPER talented. Can you believe they drew and rigged their own Vtuber model? I know, impressive right? Draws the DCA skrunkly and lanky just how I like 'em. BRAINS SO HARD WITH ME ABOUT DROWSIE AND GAIA!!? Very nice wonderful person as well, fun company. And ooughhh I just love the oc brainrot with her. Could do it all day, love you mwah.

@crazedauthor: Knows all the fanfics. Well maybe not all, but knows the ones I happen to be thinking about. Pops in mid brainstorm to add something juicy that adds fuel to the fire. Human gasoline. Got obliterated by 1 (one) chip. o7

@daunsun: Another sketch machine. Gives me Eclipse content. FIABC liker, which automatically elevates her status. Tries to shoot people who make fanart, but she deserves it so idk what to tell you. And then turns around and makes fanart for other ppl. smh double standards. Love the way she draws humans. And the boys, but that goes without saying. Honestly the way daun draws the boys is sooo good it's like. I can't even describe. It's like cupcake. Long cupcake.

@cakesfunhouse: Hi __ I'm Cole looking ass. Shoots me dead with fluffy ramblings all the fucking time. Brainstorms really well, dropping good ideas like they had them shoved in their pockets ready to throw. Actually really sweet and fun to talk to. Gremlin, though so beware, they bite. Draws biblically accurate dca fluff, so what's not to love. Will pop in randomly while you're talking to someone else to add something that kills me dead. Like wheezing laughter.

@nmfergus: Nikki my beloved 💜 such a sweetheart, loves to see people happy and excited, always asking questions and seeing how everyone is doing. CHICKENS!!! Farmville. Also Corndrop. Ask Nikki about corndrop. Can you guess what he sells? It's corn. The answer is corn.

@paper-lilypie: LILY!!! omg Lily real. Art is all soft lines and easy to read expressions and kisses and snuggles and basically when I see lily art it's like drinking a cup of hot cocoa. Also the way Lily draws hands? God, what a legend. Give me your hands. Little hater. And enabler. But she's my little hater/enabler so it's okay ❤️ love me a good Lily spotting. Has good au ideas too.

@sycopomp: SYBORG!!! I wouldn't be making this post if it weren't for them and Monnster. Sy writing makes brain go brrrr. Has this way of setting stuff up that pays off later? Like little hints into things that are really fun to pick apart/notice on your own. I can always picture what's happening in Sy writing really well which sucks for me personally when they write ouchie owies. But I love them for it mwah ❤️

@sinnabee: AH Sinna!!! Magician Au makes my brain neurons activate so hard. Very sweet as well, love doing magmas with her. Also funny and caring. Don't get to hang out with much because if timezones but I am always very happy when I do get to vibe with a Sinna. Has wonderful beautiful line work and cool ocs I want to know more about.

@spaciebabie: Chaos. (I'm tempted to have that be the only thing I put here) Also makes me laugh!! drops in and says some shit that has me giggling sillystupid. Art is bubbly. Round. Rotund. Want to get to know better!!! Pizza.

Special Mentions/People I want to get to know better:

@oobbbear: Bearz. Bearz my beloved. Your art makes my heart explode. And you're so funny even without knowing you well. 👁👁 The way you draw so chibi and yet so detailed? Like the way you draw hands? Impeccable. Also H mouth. H mouth so cute. I honestly don't think I would have gotten into drawing Sun and Moon fanart if it wasn't for Bearz' aus infecting me like a disease. So everyone say thank you to Bearz for roping me into this!

@hexheathen: MY NUMBER ONE FAN ❤ My bestie who doesn't know the jesties. I love you with all my heart, and I love spending time with you and the rest of our pals. This is my appreciation post and I say you get appreciated.

@bones-of-a-rabbit: SHY BEAN. Drops some cute ass shit and skitters away. Wish I could know better! They have a lot of good ideas and honestly I see them as one of the best fluff writers for DCA content. It was in Reality Not Fine my beloved. I've said it once and I'll say it again: They really capture the word "Lovestruck" with their expressions. When people say, "They looked at them like they hung the moon and the stars," I imagine the way Rabbit draws sun and moon looking at y/n. It's honestly such a talent.

#spooky speaks #appreciation post #idk what to tag this as #idk I just really love all my friends I guess #theres more to say about everyone but this is so long already 😭#sorry not sorry I love freely and a lot

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icaruskeyartist · 11 months

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Part 3 of the whump fic I'm working on. Part 1 is here (with @pillowspace's cute art cause I'm still not over it), and part 2 is here.

TW for talking about kidnapping.

Pretty sure we'll be hitting the big whump in the next bit. It's been a lot of setup so far, sorry.

You debate going to work anyway. After all, what could the powers that be do, deny you entry and your $30+ ticket fee? Except you don't have a child, and the daycare, or at least the Attendant, is pretty strict about adults hanging around, especially if they don't have kids there themselves.

And if you break the loop this go around (you will, you will), then you could use the cash. You linger on the thought of after. If there's no fire, would Sun and Moon want to stay at the daycare? Or maybe you could all move someplace far away from all of this, to the beach or the mountains, someplace beautiful for the animatronic who has never even seen the real sun or moon.

Yeah, something like that would be nice. So you don't go, not wanting to waste your money when you know there's still a couple months before the fire and you have plenty of time to figure things out.

You're still very excited once your forced time off is over, and you get to work early, scanning through one of the back doors since everything else is still shuddered. You'd been in such a hurry you forgot to even tie your shoes, resulting in a spectacular fall when you enter the brightly lit daycare. "Sunny! Shi---" You barely catch yourself from smashing your face into the rubber floor. Okay, yes, it's time to tie your shoes. Or maybe invest in some velcro ones since you keep forgetting.

"Hello, you're here! Are you all right?" It was infuriatingly endearing how Sun could bound so easily across the daycare in three, four strides to bend over and offer you a hand. He seemed so normal too; you take that hand and use it to propel yourself up and into a hug. "Ah, well, I've missed you too Sunshine!" Sun hesitates before hugging you back, and you withdraw slowly, looking him over.

"How're things while I was gone? You look okay." You're reluctant to let him pull away entirely, hands on his forearms well after he'd let go. He did look okay. No children's doodles or sticky handprints, just the usual dings and scrapes from daily wear and tear. You'd like to help buff everything out and clean him up, but...

"Everything was fine," he says, and you know he's lying. But nothing you say will get him to admit it.

You trail after him while he prepares for the day, peppering him with questions about the previous few days, but he's evasive. It's not until you ask about Moon that he stops.

"I really appreciate your concern," he says, rays pulled in ever so slightly, "but talking about Moony is... hard. The children will be here soon, so please. Let's just have a Fazerrific day."

"Does he know I miss him at least?" you ask, and when Sun turns away without an answer, you grab his hand. "Sunny. I'm your friend. You can tell me anything. You know that right?"

There's a moment of hesitation before Sun lays a hand over yours, adjusting your hold so your hands are cupped in his. "Starlight," he says, voice very very soft as he stares at your hands. "You need to take care of yourself first. We'll be okay."

"But---" You won't. The words die as Sun pulls away, and you find yourself tearing up despite everything. That's so close to the Sun you knew, the Sun you fell for, but it's not. Because he doesn't trust you enough to share his pain.

Sun opens the doors to let the first kids of the day in, and you wipe furiously at your face, trying to shake off the feeling settling uncomfortably in your stomach like lead.

-*-*-*-*-

Hiding in the janitor's closet, waiting for the pizzaplex to fully close makes you feel a little dumb, but here you are regardless, tucked away with the mops and bleach. It smells vaguely of chlorine; you're trying not to think too hard about what you might be inhaling.

You decide to check the news on your phone instead. Strange, but you hadn't really looked at the local news before. Everything had been so centered on you, on the Attendant, on this little bubble of the world, that you genuinely had no idea what was going on elsewhere. You open the local news site, leaning back as you scroll.

Twins Missing from Beds, age 9 Latest Disappearances of Children, No Leads Found Says Detectives The Pied Piper Strikes Again

The three articles are clustered together, the twins being the oldest story from right around when you started working at the daycare. You tap the newest one first, skimming initially, only to pause and restart when you catch the name Freddy.

...Ms. Spencer reports that she lost her daughter shortly after picking her up from Freddy Fazbear's Mega Pizzaplex's daycare service. She says they had stopped to use the restroom and when she finished, her daughter was gone...

There's a picture of the daughter, and your gut, already dropping, went cold. You know this girl. She had the biggest crush on the Attendant and would constantly carry this handmade plush of 'Eclipse', a sort of pseudo-original character she claimed was Sun and Moon together.

You remember Ms. Spencer too. She always looked tired but happy with her little girl. You don't remember what she did, just that she explained Eclipse was named after they saw an actual eclipse together a couple years ago. She'd fallen asleep and dropped the plush, so you had chased after them to return it.

Laura. The girl's name was Laura.

Is! Is Laura. This Pied Piper person wasn't murdering them, as far as the article said. The kids were just missing, and Laura disappeared---yesterday. She disappeared yesterday while you'd been at home daydreaming. No, it's fine. She's only recently gone and

You click on the other articles, a perverse sense of relief hitting you when you see the other four victims weren't kidnapped from the Pizzaplex, though you do recognize another name from an old roster and one of the boys is wearing a Roxy shirt. The oldest article, the twins, was almost two months ago. You didn't like what that probably meant, so you pushed the thoughts away. There was plenty more to worry about.

Like maybe that figure skulking about was the Pied Piper?

You leave the closet well after close, squinting as your eyes adjusted to actual light and not just being blinded by your phone. You check for Vanessa before making your way to the bathrooms by the daycare. Maybe there was some clue left behind?

It's quiet without the noise of the kids and parents and music all at once. Of course, it'd been like that before, but now, knowing that a child went missing, was kidnapped, here... or maybe you were just gone too many days in a row and forgot how it felt. You're just being paranoid. When you get to the bathrooms, you peek inside, then slip in, holding the door so it doesn't slam shut. The lights flicker on from your movement.

It's clean. Of course it is. The janitorial staff wasn't particularly large, but they always did a sweep at the end of the day. You don't know what you were expecting really. Crime scene tape? Those little number placards placed next to a puddle of blood? You probably should lay off the true crime for a bit, you decide, even as you check each stall. There's a wet floor sign hanging out in the far back, and you give him a little pat on the head. It's hard not to feel affectionate towards the little guys.

Would Sun and Moon be annoyed if you took one of the signs home with you both after the fire? Or maybe they're like guinea pigs and need more than one.

You're getting a little too distracted now.

At this last stall, you do actually notice something. The ceiling tile above the toilet is askew. Not much, just enough that you thought there was a bit of mold before you realized that it's just the blackness showing through. "Excuse me," you say to the sign, hearing its little wheels scrabble for purchase on the wet tile so it can watch you clamber onto the toilet and push the tile further out of the way. You have to take off your sweater and toss it up first before you can climb onto the metal pipe at the back of the toilet and pull yourself up.

You manage to support your weight on the tracks holding the tiles up, peeking down. "Don't tell anyone I'm up here, okay? This isn't dumb. Vanessa said there's someone sneaking around here and now there's a kidnapper. So maybe they set the fire. Maybe they're using the pizzaplex to track victims and they got greedy with Laura.

You try not to linger on the if I was working this wouldn't have happened. If Sun wasn't struggling, if if if

You also try not to think about the fact the daycare had been dark when you passe by again.

You turn the flashlight on your phone before dragging the tile back in place. It's dark now, musty smelling, and your heart is in your throat. You tie your sweater around your waist and start to crawl, looking for... something. You don't know what just yet. But you will.

#time loop au #dca #fnaf dca #daycare attendant #fnaf daycare attendant #'the big whump' lol more like I'm gonna finally get the metaphorical claws out #all of this is setup for vanny and co

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the-fiction-witch · 1 month

Text

New Girl

Media - Slaughter House Rulez Character - Willoughby Blake Couple - Willoughby X Reader Reader - Y/n Rating - Mentions of drugs / mentions of drug use / sexual discussion / making out / semi nudity / undressing / breast play / fondling Word Count -3345

Willoughby sat on the windowsill with his book in hand trying to look as normal as possible like he hadn’t just been doing anything he shouldn’t when the door opened to his head of house Sparta.

“Morning sir,” He smiled briefly,

"AHH! Perfect. Mr Blake, I'd love to introduce you to your new roommate. Miss Y/n.”

Y/n came in, in the usual girls' uniform but very much as against the rules as she could get away with. Her shoes were dirty, her knee-high socks crooked, her skirt rolled up, her shirt untucked and tie pulled low, hee's blazer over her bag, her hair in pigtails with neon purple at the bottom

He raised an eyebrow at her and shut his book on his lap, setting it down on the windowsill behind him as he looked at her up and down, judging her. “Uhh why am I-”

“The Andromeda hall is full, so she’s going to be doing with us this year.”

“Great,” he said sarcastically and let out a sigh as the head of the house left the room and shut the door behind himself. Willougby looked at her again, eyes locking on the neon purple in her hair. “nice hair.” he said in a tone, clearly sarcastic.

"I got bored on the train. I had a Sharpie," she answered her tone dismissive before she pouted her lips and blew a bubble with her gum,

he chuckled a little bit and shook his head, leaning back on the windowsill “Well, it’s… creative,” he said,

"relax. I won't be here long. I plan on getting expelled as soon as possible" she said throwing her bag on the floor and lying on one of the beds,

“Uhh that was gonna be my bed but… fine,” he raised an eyebrow at her, “and how exactly do you plan on doing that?” he asked, leaning back on the windowsill to get a better view of her.

"break enough rules they kick you out" She shrugged,

he chuckled as he rolled his eyes a bit, he’s never heard of anyone getting themselves purposefully expelled on their first day at a school “What, so you plan on being a nuisance all year?”

"that's the plan. I've done this six times already"

his jaw almost dropped, “wow, you’re determined, aren’t you?” he couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought, “so, why do you go to all these different schools anyway, don’t you have parents?”

"I do, rich, and deeply loving. First world problems I know. But they won't send me to the school I want so I'll keep getting expelled everywhere they send me till they send me where I Wanna go"

he tried to hold in his laugh, this girl was actually insane. “and exactly what school is so special that you’re willing to do all this bullshit just to get there?”

"Miss Melaminas Arts Private Boarding School"

he raised an eyebrow and tried not to laugh, not because the name of the school itself was funny, but because of how crazy she was. “all this… because you want to go to an art school?” he asked, still trying to hold in his laughter.

"I don't want to learn Latin and quantum mechanics. I want to be in art classes"

“so you want to waste your life doodling pictures instead of learning anything useful?” he teased teasingly, now laughing a bit.

"I want. To be a dancer"

he continued to laugh a bit, finding it hard to take her seriously “Yeah, and I want to be a billionaire. good luck with that, sweetheart”

she sat up and slapped him across the face “don't. Call me. Sweetheart"

his laughter immediately died, he touched a hand to his injured cheek, a bit shocked that she hit him, a smirk on his face that slowly disappeared as he looked at her “did that slap shut me up, sweetheart?” he said, purposely calling her that again.

she slapped him across the other cheek

he chuckled lightly, his smirk returned and he let out a sigh “feisty. I’m gonna keep calling you that, you know that right?”

"you call me that again. I'll wait until your are asleep" She moved closer "Tie you down with your school tie and use my nice manicure to claw your cock off. Understand?"

he tried to resist the urge to laugh as she threatened him, he tried to maintain a cold demeanour but her threat was actually kinda amusing to him, he tried to look at her with a cold glare, the smirk still present in his face. “oh, I won’t stop calling you that, so go ahead, try any of that, sweetheart.”

she immediately elbows him in the crotch

he let out a low groan, he doubled over a bit, a look of pain on his face “oh god damn it” he groaned, taking a few deep breaths, the smirk gone from his face.

"you were warned."

he was a bit stunned, he couldn’t even remember when he last got such a direct hit right to the crotch like that, he was taking deep breaths as he slowly stood up straight, still wincing a bit as the pain slowly faded “Yeah, yeah, you warned me. fair point.” he said through clenched teeth, still trying to gather himself from the blow.

"so what's the underground at slaughter?" she asked laying back on the bed,

he looked at her curiously, still not over the hit to his groin, he rubbed it a bit to ease the pain “The underground?” he repeated, as if he were confused by her question, but deep down he knew exactly what she was on about.

"the underground you know the stuff kids do secretly, hustles and secrets the kids know"

he sighed deeply, his back laid on the other bed still nursing himself as he looked at her “Yeah, I know what you’re on about.” he took a deep breath and sighed before answering her question “There’s the usual stuff, like smoking, drinking, hookups. then there’s the more… ‘illegal’ stuff, drug deals, stolen merchandise trade, etc..”

"sounds pretty normal. My last school had a calligrapher. He could replicate any teacher or parent signature and even get you on letterhead for a price"

he raised an eyebrow, a bit surprised by her last comment “Wow, that’s pretty insane, honestly. must’ve been a good way to get out of trouble too.”

"it was helpful. A P.E excuse note would only run you a pack of cigarettes"

he chuckled, he could easily imagine how chaotic and messed up the school must’ve been “I bet having a guy like that around came in handy more than once.”

"it did." She nodded "But come on, slaughter. Let me guess Sparta isn't exactly top dog around here?"

he chuckled at her question, she was a bit perceptive. “you catch on quickly, don’t ya?” he said with a smirk. “Sparta’s not even close to top dog.”

"so it's the outcast house. Got it. Your Hufflepuffs"

he raised an eyebrow, curious about the comparison she just made “Hufflepuffs? like.. from Harry Potter?”

"yeah, it's always how boarding schools are split up, jocks or brave aka griffindors, nerds or smart aka ravenclaw, socially skilled or popular aka Slytherin and then outcasts. Hufflepuffs"

he chuckled at how she broke it down into the different houses and it’s kind of accurate, she’s clearly been to a lot of boarding schools “yeah, we’re the outcasts. we’re on the lowest of the totem pole here, but we actually have the most fun and cause the most trouble.”

"but come on this campus is huge your not telling me there aren't some like prono stashes, drug holes and hook-up places"

he chuckled a bit, she was certainly curious about all the dirty stuff that happened on campus, “oh yeah. we got all of that stuff. I can think of a few places, it kinda depends on what you’re looking for”

she shrugged "… Can I ask you?"

he raised an eyebrow, “sure. go ahead. ask away”

"you smoke?"

he chuckled a bit, expecting something else but he nodded “yeah, like a chimney.” he said and leaned himself forward to reach for his blazer, and dug into an inner pocket to take out a cigarette pack and lighter.

"just those or… You know?"

he chuckled lightly, he knew what she meant, he pulled out a cigarette and lit it, taking a drag of it before answering her question “yeah I do, I’m partial to a bit of pot every now and then. and some people do harder stuff if in the mood for it, depending on what’s available”

"how much harder?"

he took a deep breath and exhaled the smoke from his cigarette, taking a moment to think about her question before answering “Coke, mostly. like a bump every now and then”

she nodded "Very common in boarding schools"

he nodded in agreement as he raised the cigarette to his lips and took a drag of it

“very common. the rich kids all do it, and there are always a few lower-classmen who’ve found a source to get their hands on the stuff. stuff like that runs rampant in boarding schools like this one” He explained, “I’m personally partial to snuff.”

“What like some 1800’s lord?”

“Don’t knock it. Means I get to smoke in the middle of class,” He smirked taking his little snuff-box from his pocket to show it off,

“Fair enough,” she nodded, "… You drink?"

he nodded and chuckled a bit, “yeah, I drink sometimes, not very often though. I used to drink more often when I was around thirteen, I’d sneak out for parties, or just to drink with friends. Now I’m just kinda over drinking,”

"ohh I bet Sparta dorm hosts some cool parties…" She joked

he chuckled in response “oh yeah, the parties they throw are the most pathetic, tame parties on campus. like a tea party, but you drink beer instead of tea and listen to god awful music that makes you want to jump off a roof”

she chuckled "… Are you… You know?"

he raised an eyebrow, “….you’re gonna have to be a bit more specific”

she rolled her eyes "You straight?"

he chuckled, “why?”

"curious if the reason I was allowed to be your roommate was cause you where gay. I don't care if you are, I'm bi"

he chuckled a bit, he was actually a bit shocked that she was bi, for some reason he expected her to be straight “no, it doesn’t work like that here. The boarding school staff don’t let gay students and straight students as roommates. it’s all random, I had no idea I’d be getting a roommate, let alone a girl,” he chuckled, “….and you’re bi?” he asked curiously with a smirk on his face,

"yeah?" She chuckled

he chuckled at her response and nodded, he took another drag of his cigarette, “Guys and girls?”

"yeah, both have things I enjoy"

he nodded as he listened to her answer, he couldn’t help but get more curious about her, he took another drag of his cigarette and exhaled before asking another question “yeah? Me too” he chuckled again, he took another drag from his cigarette before he spoke again “I bet you’ve got no shortage of people trying to hook up with you then. both girls and guys.”

"yeah? You think I'll be popular here?"

he chuckled lightly and nodded, he took a moment to look her up and down, he then put his cigarette to his lips again “yeah, you’re new, you’re hot as hell, and you’ve got the whole rebellious artsy vibe going for you. I’m sure guys and girls will be tripping over each other to hook up with you”

"Well, when one needs to hook up. Where do we go? I assume there's a secret spot. Plus I don't wanna be bothering you"

“yeah, there’s a few spots around here where couples go to hook up. but the school’s got more eyes than a hawk to watch out for students sneaking off together anywhere, so we usually go somewhere remote and quiet, some hidden spots near the woods, a few empty classrooms, that sorta stuff”

she nodded before she laughed "You single Willoughby?"

he chuckled lightly and raised an eyebrow, he wasn’t expecting that question from her. he nodded in response “Yeah… I’m single. how about you? I bet you’ve got a ton of guys who’d do anything to date you”

"my phone gets blown up daily but nope. Single. I prefer it that way free to do what I want"

“yeah, being single is definitely more fun. I’ve seen what being in a relationship does to people here, it just ends in tears. and a lot of gossip…”

She sat up more "You are gonna be my roommate if you want… We can make a deal?"

he raised an eyebrow, again, looking at her curiously and asked “a deal? what kinda deal?”

"Well, all the boys and girls flooding my phone asking for hookups. If you wanted I can say you'll always take priority?"

he raised both his eyebrows this time, he chuckled lightly before speaking and asked a question “You’d put me in front of all those other guys? why me?”

"You’re my roommate, doing it with you is literally the least effort I might not even have to leave my bed"

He smirked at her again “Is that a guarantee?”

"I'll say your requests will always take priority where they can. And you want anything, we agree the other just has to ask? That sounds like a deal?"

he chuckled lightly and smiled “yeah… I think I can agree to that deal”

she offered her hand

he smiled again and reached forward to shake her hand, he knew he was definitely gonna get a lot of benefits from this deal that he wouldn’t get from any other girl here

she smiled and adjusted her uniform a little to be more comfy as she briefly glanced around at her bags and the unpacking she has to do. She sighed "Willoughby?"

a smirk appearing on his face, and then he turned his attention to her again “yeah?”

"you wanna procrastinate unpacking and just make out?"

“hell yeah I do. I’m not up for unpacking all my stuff right now”

she nodded "bed? Sofa?"

he glanced over at the twin size beds, then at the two-person sofa and nodded “the sofa, I think”

she nodded and pulled off her tie undoing a few buttons on the top of her shirt before she sat down on the leather sofa, tossing her gum out as she did,

he chuckled and he followed her and sat close beside her on the leather sofa, he put his arm behind her on the sofa. “already getting comfortable, aren’t ya?”

"we're gonna share a room. Our beds are less than a meter apart, we're gonna have to be comfortable" she chuckled laying her head on his shoulder

he chuckled in response and nodded, he then smirked and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her towards him so she was closer to him now “Yeah I guess that’s true, but I didn’t expect you to be so quick about trying to get comfortable on the first day”

she shrugged "No time like the present"

he chuckled again, nodded in agreement and glanced down at her shirt, he then leaned in closer to her, his face only a few inches away from hers “yeah… I guess that’s true. so, do I have to ask for permission to kiss you now?”

she scoffed "You don't have to ask for permission, so you wanna make out?"

he chuckled when she scoffed, then he nodded and smirked “Hell yeah, I do” he slowly leaned closer to her face and pressed his lips to hers, he put both his hands on her waist, he deepened the kiss, his tongue asking for entrance in her mouth

she happily parted her lips her hand settling on his shirt

he smirked against her lips and pressed his tongue inside of her mouth, it was like he took control of the kiss, and he gripped her waist a bit tighter. He deepened the kiss more, his tongue exploring her mouth as both his hands went behind her back, holding her closer to him. he broke the kiss after a few moments to catch his breath, and he then pressed his lips to her neck, kissing it and sucking it softly

she chuckled as he kissed her neck almost giggling as her fingers stroked the buttons on his shirt

he chuckled against her neck, he continued to kiss up and down her neck, as one of his hands moved up a little, as he stared at that part of her uniform, he slowly began to undo more buttons, he unbuttoned one, then two buttons until he had her shirt unbuttoned pretty low now, the shirt now revealed her collar bone, and her padded sky blue bra with white lace trim

Willoughby slowly pulled her shirt to the side a bit so he could kiss her collarbone and her shoulder as his hand roamed up her chest, gently brushing against her bra, teasing her, he pressed his face into the crook of her neck, his hands gently squeezed her sides as he shifted a little so he was straddling her on the sofa now, he pulled back from her neck and looked at her body for a moment. he then smirked as he gently pressed his lips to her ear and whispered “It’s a damn shame I can’t mark you…”

"Who said you can't?"

he chuckled softly against her ear when she asked him that question, he smirked and whispered softly again “Yeah? you’re allowing me to mark you then? no matter where?”

"go for it. I'd appreciate it under my uniform but I have a foundation, so… Go nuts"

he chuckled again and smirked widely, “you’d allow me to mark you… anywhere? as many as I’d like?”

she shrugged "You take priority don't you"

he chuckled again at her response, he nodded, he found it really fun that she agreed to let him mark her wherever he liked, he released her chin softly, his smirk still on his face as he leaned in again and whispered in her ear “yeah, I do, I guess that means I can mark you anywhere I damn please.” he began to kiss her neck again, this time his kisses weren’t soft anymore, he began to find the sensitive spots on her neck and started to suck and nibble on them, he was giving her what could be a noticeable hickey soon

she giggled and gasped the more he nibbled

he smirked against her neck as he continued to nibble on her, he could hear her giggle and gasp softly as he did that, he liked the effect it had on her, he sucked a bit harder, leaving what was definitely going to be a noticeable mark on her neck

she threw her head against the sofa a little her fingers twisting into his dark hair, she grabbed his hand and moved it up so his palm held her bra

he chuckled softly against her neck his mouth continued to work on leaving a mark, this time he sucked hard enough to leave a visible mark, he then gasped softly and he squeezed her breast softly, he lifted his mouth from her neck to look at her face, he smirked “well, somebody’s being naughty today…”

"oh am I?"

he chuckled lightly, he nodded and spoke in a teasing tone in a low whisper again “you know damn well you are, letting me mark you all these places, doing these naughty things with me on the first day, I didn’t know you had a naughty side”

"Like you can talk" she growled "You hiding a pistol in your pocket? Or are you just glad to see your new roommate" she growled arching her back and squirming her hips

he chuckled lightly again, his smirk still on his face, he chuckled once more when he felt her arch and squirm her hips against him, he slowly ran his hand down to her thigh, he gently squeezed her thigh and gently spoke in a teasing tone again “and here I thought you were the innocent new girl, guess you’re not as innocent as I first thought when I met you, huh?”

“Bullshit, you thought I was innocent.” she growled pulling him back into the kiss,

#will blake #willsmut #willoughby smut #willoughy blake #willoughbyblake #willoughby blake #asabutterfeild #asa sweet #asa butterfeild #asa butterfield #asa #slaughterhouse rulez #slaughterhouserules #slaughterhouse

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kanene-yaaay · 11 months

Text

The Time

Heya heyaaa

Oof, thing feel really serious when I put a title javagcwwuvwdodj but! It's a proper moment to use a title here, I think. After all, I came to say goodbye.

Yeah, who would think ahfwtwcev

I have been thinking and pondering about this for some months now, since June when That Stuff happened and I had to jump away from here and uhhh it feels corny to say that but a lot of things changed to me and I changed a lot together with everything too.

So, I think it's my time to let this blog go. Not because I feel bad about it now or anything but... I am no longer that attached to tickling to maintain it. It's still cute, playful and comforting, but it is now a part of a lot of other things that are just as cute, playful and comforting to me.

This blog had a good run and I'm incredibly grateful because of it. Six entire years, if I am not mistaken, and I won't delete it anytime soon so the numbers will keep going! For as long as it wants or it is allowed to. All my fics, my headcanons, my rambles and reblogs will stay here because I don't want nor have the heart to delete it. There are such amazing, wonderful and well created arts and stories in this community that deserve all the attention and all the screams.

And! Talking about that! The people! I would like to say the biggest and most heartful thank you that you could ever imagine. Full of big hugs and smiles. I've met awesome people here that I will forever hold dear in my heart. Thank you for the company and the fun and for being so lovely and inspiring to me, all of you. It doesn't matter if we talked for years or minutes, thank you very much. It was so cool! @oliviaischillin1204, @august-anon, @flames-tstuff, @soft--valentine, @honeydew-sillies, @carrie-tate, @trashyswitch, @rosileeduckie, @squeaky-n-blushy, @why-not-a-tickle-blog, @thetickleeraven, @a-fluffer-nutter, @fluffyskies, @just-open-the-fridge-yo, @fluffystuffies, @ijustliketickling, @veryblushyswitch also everyone that is no longer in the community. If you see this, I remember you! Big hug!

And thank you so much for all of you that supported my blog and my work in any and every way. Commenting, reblogging, liking, sending askys about it... It really meant (and means!) a whole lot to me and Def is one of the reasons that kept me creating for so so long and so so much. It was the reason I stopped feeling so self conscious about my English and helped me to try new things and scenarios. Please accept this cookie as a token of my appreciation 🍪 I love to see all of your rambles or just your icon appearing on my notifs.

Also, how could I ever forget the artists and writers that make this community such a fun and colorful space? All the thanks and all the screams and rambles to all of you. Creating is so hard and yet you just come here and do such a wonderful job! How dare! I still think about your creations in my daily life, believe me ahcwgwxwhwcwfcw @ticklepinions, @intheticklecloset, @jettorii, @ssnicker-doodles, @giggly-squiggily, @simplysmilingdrew, @tiklart, @otomiyaa, @verynickelpizzarascal, @fbpanimations and much much more, tbh all the beans that I got shy to tag kjhgfdefghj

Hmmm, I think that this is what I wanted to say. To be honest, writing fics w tickling in it still feels comfortable and cool, so I will probably appear from one year or other to post something and vanish again ahfwtwxwowyq but yeah, can't really say that there will be much interaction besides that. I had that Big Post full of arts and fics that I love that I wanted to post before going but no energy dfghjhgf maybe one day I will finish it and post oh well

Anyway. One of the things that I always tried to bring here was that every creator should have at least one nice comment soooo if ! You think about me or this blog! Consider giving a comment or a quick rb to some artist/creator/blog that you really like, bet it will bring a smile to the bean's face! :D

Okay, okay, enough of rambling. It was incredible. Thank you! Hope you have a lovely week and don't forget to be kind, take care and drink water. Byee <3 <3

#See ya beans <3 #BIg hugs and spinning hugs all around #Kanene being Kanene #More than 3000 posts gosh that is crazyyy

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gomzdrawfr · 8 months

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I get hella nervous whenever I post Gaz because I've seen other artists(my friends even) being bashed or dog piled when their version of Gaz doesn't align with their vision or straight up saying "its drawn very badly" so im glad to read everyone's nice reblog comments on my latest Gaz doodles <3 thank you, I appreciate it truly

I know I shouldn't really be scared of those kind of comments, but lately I've been struggling a lot lol but im learning and trying my best :] ((despite it taking a whole year to actually dare to draw and post him)) Elliot's very pretty!! handsome man!! so sometimes I feel like im not doing any justice if i dont draw him well enough

BUT

its okay, ive learned to live with it and draw him the way I like without trying to shape it in everyone's idea

because let's be frank, you can't satisfy everyone, no matter how sweet or shiny the apple is someone's bound to hate it

anyways yeah just wanted to say i appreciate yall

#there's been a trend where i see artist getting unwanted comments and feedback on their art in a way that are rude #there's a fine line between criticism and being mean and i feel like no one knows the differences anymore these days #you'll see what I mean in my latest reblog with gira #I too have been receiving a few of them #which is why my tumblr ask is closed off because im genuinely upset by them #happen recently on twitter too hence i havent been very open there #it hurts okay even if it shouldnt #please bear in mind that the artist are also human they have feelings too #gummmyspeaks

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midwinterwings · 2 months

Text

I dont know my name or anything right now. I'm a new alter formed over the past couple of days and well.

Thats the thing. I got medicated for ADHD and my mind has quietened down and its so calm here. When I'm not stuck in the static of my thoughts, playing in several realms at once, I just feel like Loki. Right now anyway. Shifts do still occur but I find that unsavoury ones from alters who would take over for coping purposes, happen much less frequently. Its become kind of odd, actually. When interacting with the body's family and friends, instead of shifts occurring (I have no idea what happens when theyre in the same place. I feel only one of us is fronting and pretending to be the other one that would front to talk to a friend if family is also present) I kind of just stay me. Whoever I am right now.

Thats the thing. All of us are Loki. We're always Loki no matter who we are. Right now I feel more connected to the 'essence' of Loki, as I feel the flame flickering in my chest, nice and warm. But there's kind of a conflict because I want to put feathers in my hair and fly across cold plains which...I can't do that. Not in this realm at least.

I feel there needs to be a distinction between 'corporeal' - 'real world' - physical world, external world whatever its called, and the...er, other one. Incorporeal? Spiritual? I dunno. Yeah. Two things can be true at once. I've always thought of things as absolute - autism haha - so if one thing is true the other can't be. Because I like computers and gaming and maths and programming and doodling, it seems, well, kind of the opposite to what the fire in my chest makes me feel. When I'm more connected to my self as Loki, I think...pine needles for some reason or pinecones, that appeared somehow, and the opposite of tech, and falcons and swifts. Lots of swifts. Snakes too. Haha banana snake

Maybe shit isn't that deep. Maybe I can be two things at once. Well, three. Even though I'm the only one fronting right now.

Theres...me right now, kind of unknown name, maybe T(). Who wears modern clothing and has tech related interests.

And there's me right now who is the opposite of that. I'm Loki chilling out somewhere. It's either a mind palace of the past or me doing other stuff in other planes. Not sure. Completely different.

Oh and there's me in animal form. That's why I identify as a therian. I'm usually a snake, swift, falcon, or a shrike.

And these are true at the same time. That's the thing I've been struggling with grasping. If one thing is true how can that other thing be true? If im here and like these things and like this, how can I be pretty much the opposite in every single way, at the same time?

Answer: I don't know. But I do know that I operate in 3 planes default. (Not counting if im covering for another alter while they're off doing god knows what and theyre the one who made a friend who thinks I'm that alter so shit is really awkward and I just pretend it's me)

So I guess, 3 planes authentic.

1 plane (covering+masking plane) non authentic but still happening.

Before the meds I was operating on like...20 🗿 also, I couldn't tell which were intrusive thoughts and which were actual stuff that was relevant. So. 3 is perfectly OK.

So...tldr : stuff is weird. Very weird. It keeps getting weirder.

The more I realize what's going on the more I hate covering for other alters because now I know its not me my friend thought they talked to. In the past before I knew I was plural I got an odd bodily sensation like I was watching my body talk, like they were talking through me to somehow behind me and I'm just relaying info from the person behind me to them. Actually I think that's pretty accurate. I didn't understand why. I've only understood why more and more recently and...I guess, I'm angry that it is this way. Really angry. And because the body I live in is tainted with trauma, especially since I look like SK (first alter) it keeps triggering shifts to SK which is really annoying. Also I get confused and think I'm SK which I'm not. Also SK isn't really active, he kind of grew up a bit to Cleo, so...I feel Cleo ends up fronting every time I just...see a picture of my body's face. I can't express things well, even anger, in the external/physical/corporeal/'real' world because everything is twinged with trauma and one specific alter, some versions of Cleo, have been carrying us through for years and years and none of us know how to really exist outside of the internal worlds. I feel we will be able to with time, but its one of those problems that are relevant every second, every movement, just you can't ignore it and if its a problem it will continue to be a problem every moment. If you can't ignore it you deal with it. Oh and I'm trying to learn acceptance rather than problem solving. "Yeah this occurs. Yes it sucks. Yes its a problem. And that's OK. I dont have to try to solve every problem immediently, especially since its not possible, sometimes the solution is completely unknown to you right now, a new experience or perspective is needed. I'm going to live with it instead of feeling things that aren't desirable are villains to be killed. Theyre part of me. They make up bits of me. I can't choose the good bits and try to kill the bad bits. It's just not even true."

So, yeah. Gonna have to live with the fact that existing as of now is very confusing, uncomfortable, and weird. People are talking to other people and I have to pretend I'm other people and its frustrating and invalidating. My body is riddled with trauma and associations with the body's parent that are no longer relevant. Seeing it makes an alter who technically dosent exist anymore front - or try to. Or his thoughts bleed into mine. I dont know my name or my story. I exist 3 times at once. Annnd that's OK. It is what it is.

Written by T - 'Midwinter'

#divinekin #deitykin #godkin #alterhuman #nonhuman #otherkin #therian #alterbeing

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