#anyway yay drugs!! i love them so much so much

[thompsonsubmachinegun]

to be fucking for real being drunk is so fucking fun and i might even become an alcoholic on purpose because i love being drunk and i love collecting addictions because i’m fucked in the head <3 substances are all i have and all i need <333 >:3

[leona-hawthorne]

SELFISH / mattheo riddle

mattheo riddle x fem reader

summary: he dreams of you after you leave him because of his addiction

warnings: angst, addiction, drug use, swearing, mention of vomit (super brief), established relationship, mattheo and reader live together, post-war

words: 4.4k

a/n: i went to the melanie martinez concert yesterday! yay! anyways here’s a depressing fic for you <3 also i can’t lie, this was kind of inspired by that one line in chloe or sam or sophia or marcus by taylor swift (included at the end)

navigation mattheo riddle masterlist

The dim light of the kitchen amplified the feeling of darkness threatening to take over your soul as you sat perched on the counter, silk robe slipping off your shoulder. The sweet scent of fresh cookies flooded your nostrils each time you took a breath, the tray resting on top of the stove. An ice pack was pressed to the burn you’d just attained as you were taking the cookies out of the oven.

It seemed baking was one of your many ways of running from your problems instead of solving them.

Mattheo would be home soon. And unbeknownst to the poor boy, you were currently contemplating how to do it. How to leave him.

Maybe you should just leave now, before he returns. No fuss. Or maybe you could spend one more night in his loving arms and then leave a note on the fridge and quietly slip out at the first cracks of light. But that seemed cruel. You knew what you had to do. You had to tell him face to face. That’s what’s right, isn’t it?

If only it wasn’t so hard.

At heart, Mattheo Riddle was a selfish man.

He was selfish when you kissed him for the first time and he greedily pulled you back in. He was selfish the first time he saw you talking to another boy and got his knuckles bloody because you were supposed to be his only. He was selfish when you gave him your body for the first time and he ravished it from dusk to dawn. He was selfish when he continued to love you during the war, knowing his very being compromised your safety. And he was especially selfish when he didn’t flush the powder down the toilet each time after you washed him of his own fucking vomit. He was even more selfish because he didn’t want to let you go.

You were the light of his life, and as much as he wanted to tell himself that he didn’t know how he’d managed to snuff out your bright candle, that was a lie. With each action he took, with each time he ignored your teary eyes as he grabbed the bottle, there was a gust of wind blowing your once fiery spirit out. He felt as though a knife was being stabbed into his chest over and over and over again, piercing the tissue of his heart and breaking him down. He just couldn’t stop.

“Matty, please,” begging, your whispers would break apart, your voice trembling even in the quietest of tones. He’d shrink down to the floor with you, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead as your palm clamped over your mouth to silence your whimpers, his glazed eyes would look back to the drawer, unable to stop himself from walking to it.

Guilt, guilt, guilt. It was the only feeling he’d known for a long time now. Guilt, eating away at him as he stumbled home with dilated pupils, your beautiful soul straying from judgment and instead leaning his arm over your shoulder. Guilt, gnawing at his quivering fingers as they drew a new line of white, your muffled sobs leaking through the bathroom door. Guilt streaming down his cheeks in the form of tears as he held you in the aftermath, whispers of false promises that both of you knew were fake but wanted to believe anyway.

The sound of the front door creaking open shook you from your daze, furrowed brows relaxing and pulling your nails away from your teeth. You don’t move. You don’t get up to greet him. Even him walking through the door was a rocky road of memories for you. Sometimes, he’d come home with a smile and a kiss. Other times, he’d return with red eyes and arms that refused to hold onto you for help walking.

”Y/N?” His deep, tired voice called out.

”Kitchen.” You yelled, eventually hearing his footsteps approaching you. Still staring at the floor, you see his feet come into sight as he stands in front of you.

”You’re adorable, you know? Making my favorite cookies for when I get home.” He commented, giving you a lazy smile and a long kiss on the top of your head. “What happened to your finger?” He asked, concern filling his eyes as he saw the ice pack on your hand. You ignore his question.

With a shake of your head, you finally look up so your eyes meet his. “Um… Matt, baby, we need to talk.” Your voice is quiet as you contemplate which words to use. His face sours, lips curling downwards into a frown. “Okay…” He swallowed nervously.

You take a moment to really study your boyfriend’s face and lo and behold, his eyes are red. No surprise. Your expression doesn’t morph into shock or horror or concern. This is your usual now.

“What did you and Theo do today, Matt?” The question sounds innocent but Mattheo knows it is anything but.

“That’s what you wanted to talk about?” He chuckled nervously in an attempt to dodge your question.

”No, but I asked you a question.”

His head tilts down, staring at his feet embarrassedly, and after a long moment of silence, he answers. “You know.”

You huffed quietly, the sound a mixture of a bitter laugh and a scoff. “Yeah, I know… That’s actually what I wanted to talk about.”

His head snapped back up in an instant, eyes filling with fear that he desperately tried to cover up as his feet shifted around, the wooden floor creaking under him. You averted your eyes, unable to meet his fearful gaze as you just decided to be straightforward with it.

“I can’t watch this happen anymore, Mattheo.”

He stumbled back a bit, as if your words were a physical blow. “What?”

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you continue. “I’m done.” You got down from the kitchen counter to walk away but his hands were already grabbing at your arms. It was like his blood had turned to gasoline, your words the match. He’d been speechless for many moments, his brain going blank as your words settled in and became the only thing occupying his mind, bouncing around the corners of his skull with a groundbreaking echo. Anger, despair, and most of all, fear. Fear that he’d finally pushed you too far, that you were finally leaving. His hands grabbed at you in a desperate attempt to ground himself, to lock you to himself. “No, please—”

“Stop, Mattheo.” You mutter, your voice breaking. His hand froze, his heart clenching in his chest as your voice hit his ears. He hated the way you said his name. There was no love or warmth in it anymore. Just a cold, sharp edge.

“We can talk about this.” He pleaded, his voice becoming low and desperate. “Please, Y/N. Just let me explain.”

“This isn’t something we can fix with a fucking conversation, Mattheo. Not anymore.”

“We can try!” He insisted, his grip on your arm becoming a little firmer. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, and he wasn’t going to let you go without trying to fix this.

“Mattheo, we have tried.” You let out a broken sob.

“I know I messed up. And— and I’ll do better. I’ll stop, I’ll do anything.” He said, the desperation seeping into his voice. “Please, Y/N, I’m begging you.”

If it weren’t for the fact that you’d heard similar words leave his mouth many times before, you may have broken and given in.

“That’s not how that works and you know it.” You utter quietly, teary eyes darting back up to his.

He swallowed, suddenly feeling a mixture of anger and hurt wash over him. “You’re not even willing to fix it.” He spat, his grip on your arm tightening.

He hated the way you spoke to him, like it was so easy for you to walk away. It tore his heart out of his chest. “You don’t get to act like you’re better than me, because you’re not. You’re just a coward, running away instead of facing this like an adult.”

With a sniffle, you bit your tongue and said, “Maybe. But I can’t take this anymore, so I don’t care.”

He flinched at your words, the pain stabbing at his heart as he realized that to you, it was that simple. A part of him wanted to say something more, to convince you to stay, but he knew he couldn't do anything to change your mind. He didn’t deserve for you to change your mind.

And so, with a frustrated, heartbroken glare into your eyes, he abruptly took a few steps back away from you, the walls he’d spent ages lowering for you closing back up, the years worth of trust and progress shattering within an instant.

“Fine. Go ahead. Run away. See if I care.”

You swallowed and walked to your guys’ shared bedroom to pack your things, hoping the walls are thick enough to muffle your sobs.

He watched you walk away, feeling like a dagger was plunging deeper and deeper into his heart with every step you took. He wanted to run after you, to hold you in his arms right then and there and sink down to the living room floor with you, but the cold reality of everything that had happened hit him, and he stayed rooted in his spot, unable to move.

Sitting against the gray wall, he couldn’t even look at you as you walked out the door with your bags clutched in your shaking hands. After you left, he sat there for what felt like hours. He couldn’t move, couldn’t think. His mind was filled with an overwhelming mix of anger, resentment, betrayal, but most of all, an excruciating amount of just simple childlike sadness. It felt as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest.

And hours later, still in the same dumbstruck position, in the hazy depths of his mind, he could swear he heard your pretty voice, felt your gentle fingers tracing the outline of his face as they’d done so many times before.

Finally, he decided that he needed to do something, anything to distract himself from the painful emptiness. So he did the only thing he knew how: he went to the white nightstand beside what used to be the both of yours’ bed to take out the one thing he knew would quiet his pounding head.

His fingers brushed against the bottle, and his heart leaped as he recognized the familiar feel of its cylindrical shape. He pulled it out, his eyes widening with relief as he held the bottle in his hands. It felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He hastily opened the bottle as he walked towards the door leaned against it.

Soon enough, a sudden lightheadedness washed over him, and he sat there for a moment, enjoying the light fuzzy feeling inside his head. It helped to erase all the terrible thoughts that were plaguing his mind, making him feel like he was floating. He reached for another pill, but as he was about to take it, a voice at the back of his head started scolding him.

“What are you doing?”

He flinched as he heard the voice in his mind, his hands still clutching the bottle. He looked around, even though it was clear that the voice wasn’t coming from anywhere in his room. He tried to ignore it, shaking his head and popping another pill into his mouth.

But the voice didn’t go away. It grew louder, demanding he listen to it.

“Stop!”

He began to recognize the voice as yours.

He let out a frustrated groan, rolling his eyes at the voice. “Please shut up, I need this right now!”

But the voice kept echoing through his head. “But Mattheo, you’re hurting yourself. You’re hurting me. Don’t do this to us.”

Jesus, had he really gone so crazy to the point that he started hearing voices and talking to himself in an empty room?

Reluctantly, he laid the bottle back down beside him.

“Good job, pretty baby. Go drink some water.” Your voice murmured in the back of his head.

He felt a pang in his heart at the way you spoke to him. He missed having your hand gently soothing his cheek, your soft kisses planted on his skin. He missed you, even though he was trying his best not to, to just be mad. Hearing your voice in his head, so soft and gentle, was making him crave you even more.

He sniffled loudly, blinking away his tears before they could fall. He couldn’t help but obey.

Without wasting another second, he stood up and huddled off to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water. As the cold liquid flowed down his throat, he couldn’t help but feel like you were there with him. He could almost imagine you standing beside him, softly stroking his hair like you had done countless times before.

Sauntering back to the bedroom with his eyes glazed over, he laid back down in the bed, pulling the quilt over his body. The fact that it was riddled with your scent didn’t help to soothe his aching chest. A tired, defeated sigh escaped his lips as he sunk into the soft mattress. His body felt heavy and fatigue washed over him, making it increasingly hard to keep his eyes open. He couldn’t help but wish it was you beside him instead of your pillow, your body pressed against his like it usually was every night.

Just as he was about to close his eyes, the voice spoke up again. “Go to sleep, my love. I’ll watch over you.”

His eyes snapped open and he sat up a bit straighter, his heart racing. God, you’re not really here, are you? You can’t be.

He shook his head, trying to convince himself that it was just his mind playing tricks on him. But the voice continued, growing even more fond.

“Relax, darling. Don’t overthink it. Just rest and I’ll see you in your dreams.”

Your voice in his head was so gentle, a soothing balm over the wound in his heart. He hesitated for a few moments before laying back down. He let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift off into a deep sleep.

But before he lost himself to the dream world, he could have sworn that he felt a gentle pair of lips grazing over his face.

In his dream, he found himself in a beautiful garden, surrounded by bright, colorful flowers. The air was filled with the sweet, fruity scents, and the warm sunlight danced on his skin softly. He stood there, taking a moment to drink in the beauty of his surroundings, before seeing a familiar figure in the distance.

You were walking towards him, dressed in a simple sundress. Your hair gently moved with the wind, and your eyes shimmered under the sunlight, resembling a star in the night sky. You were gorgeous, more beautiful than any flower in the garden.

He couldn’t help but smile as you approached him. He reached out for you, wanting to touch you and see if you were real. But as soon as his fingers brushed against your skin, you vanished, leaving him standing alone in the garden, all silent except for the sound of the gentle breeze.

His heart sank with confusion and disappointment as he realized he was alone again. He let out a frustrated scoff, kicking the grass as he began to look around the garden for you. Finally, he spotted you again, standing under an elegant archway.

He quickly closed the distance between the two of you, his hands reaching up to cup your face. He was relieved that he could touch you again. He softly caressed your cheeks, staring into your eyes with admiration. “I missed you so much,” he whispered, his voice filled with longing.

But before he could say anything else, you vanished once again. He gritted his teeth, frustration bubbling within him as he yelled out your name. He began desperately running around the garden, searching every corner until he spotted you sitting under a cherry blossom tree.

His heart leaped in his chest as he ran towards you, but as soon as he reached the tree, you disappeared once more. He felt his frustration reach its peak and he let out a groan of annoyance, his fists clenching as he yelled angrily.

“Stop disappearing on me! Let me hold you, damn it!”

Just as he was about to give up hope, he suddenly noticed you standing behind him. You were smiling, a kind and loving smile gracing your lips as you said, “Catch me if you can, pretty boy.”

His eyes widened as soon as he heard your voice. He slowly turned around to face you, his heart thumping rapidly as he realized you had really appeared. He reached out to grab you, but just as he was about to wrap his arms around your waist, you suddenly sprinted off, your laughter filling the air.

Despite the initial shock, he broke out into a huge, boyish grin. Without hesitation, he began chasing after you. He was laughing, feeling more alive than he had in weeks. As time flew by, the two of you ran through the flower garden, chasing each other like little children.

Finally, after a long chase, he managed to catch you. He pulled you close, wrapping his strong arms tightly around your body. He let out a satisfied laugh, his eyes filled with warmth and affection as he whispered, “Got you now.”

His heart swelled with happiness as you wrapped your arms around him too, your body pressed securely against his. He buried his face into your hair and breathed in your scent, feeling overwhelmed with contentment.

He let out a gentle sigh before pulling away just enough so he could look down at your face. He placed a soft kiss on your forehead before murmuring, “I love you, darling.”

You pulled away slightly to look into his eyes, mirroring his look of contentment. “I love you too, beautiful boy,” you whispered as you gently caressed his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into your touch, relishing the feeling of your fingertips against his skin.

But when he opened his eyes, he was met with the image of your figure fading away, a startled gasp escaping him. “No! Come back!” He called out, but you were gone. He frantically looked around the garden, only to find that he was alone once more. He felt your absence like a physical ache, and a sense of longing washed over him.

He stood there, his heart feeling heavy and lonely as he whispered your name, hoping for you to come back. But there was no sign of you, no response to his calls. He sank down onto the grass, feeling lost and desperate. The sun continued to shine, almost as if mocking him and his misery.

He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to regain a sense of comfort, but it wasn't the same. He missed you, longed for your presence. He couldn't bear being alone anymore. The garden around him, which had been so beautiful and filled with life, now seemed empty and boring without you.

He closed his eyes as he lay flat on the ground. Suddenly he felt a kiss on his cheek. His eyes snapped open to see you standing above him with a teasing smile.

A mix of disbelief and happiness washed over him as he saw you standing there, a playful smile gracing your lips. He sat up straight, looking up at you with a mixture of relief and confusion. “You’re back,” he whispered, as if he couldn’t quite believe it.

“What do you mean? I never went anywhere?…” Your voice echoes through the garden as you tilt your head in confusion, looking down at him.

He furrowed his brows, a bit confused by your answer. He looked around at the garden, which was now eerily quiet, then back at you. “But you disappeared. I was chasing you and you vanished.”

“Don’t be silly. I’ve been here the whole time.” You giggled, toying with the straps of your dress.

The confusion in his eyes only deepened as he listened to your words. He was starting to feel a bit disoriented, like he was stuck in a twisted dream. “No, you weren’t,” he insisted. “I lost sight of you for a moment, and then I couldn’t find you anywhere.”

“Oh, beautiful boy. Are you seeing things again?” Your gentle voice echoed throughout the open field.

As he heard the echo of your voice, he felt a pang in his chest. There was something amiss, something that didn’t feel right. “I don’t understand… Are you really here, or is this just my imagination?” he asked, his voice filled with a hint of desperation.

“I’m whatever you want me to be,” You murmured, looking out at the swaying flowers with an innocent smile.

Frustration started to bubble up in him as he heard your ambiguous answer. “That’s not an answer. I need to know if you’re really here or if you’re just a figment of my imagination.” He stood up from the ground and stepped closer to you, his eyes fixed on your face, searching for any signs of truth in your expressions.

Your innocent smile morphed into a playful smirk, angling your head up to look at him. “Catch me,” You say before running again.

He watched you run away, a mix of frustration and determination now etched on his face. He let out a huff and began chasing after you once more. He was tired of feeling powerless and confused, and he was determined to catch you this time.

As he ran through the garden, the flowers of different colors and shapes passed him in a colorful blur. He pushed himself harder, ignoring the occasional thorns and leaves that clawed at his skin. His focus was solely on you, his eyes locked onto your figure as you darted through the garden.

He tried to strategize as he ran, trying to anticipate your next move. You were nimble and elusive, like a butterfly fluttering just out of reach. But he refused to give up. He zigzagged through the garden, trying to cut you off. He was getting closer, he was sure of it.

Finally, he saw an opportunity to cut you off as you headed towards a narrow path between two rows of tall bushes. He pushed himself to sprint even faster and managed to get in front of you, blocking your escape route.

He stood there in front of you, panting heavily from the chase. His chest was heaving, his eyes locked onto yours. “Caught you, darling,” he said breathlessly, a hint of triumph in his voice.

“Come back to me, Mattheo,” You whispered.

The sound of your voice was like a bandage to his tired soul. He stepped closer, closing the gap between them. He reached out and gently took your hands in his, his fingers intertwined with yours. "I'm right here, darling," he whispered back.

“No… You’re not. This isn’t real.”

He furrowed his brows, confusion and a tinge of hurt evident on his face. "What do you mean? Of course, this is real. We're here together, talking, touching. How can it not be real?”

He looked down at your intertwined fingers and lightly brushed his thumb over your knuckles, as if trying to convince himself of your tangible existence. "I can feel you," he murmured. "I can feel your skin against mine. How can that be unreal?"

He lifted one of your hands to his chest, placing it over his heart. It was hammering against his ribcage, his pulse strong and steady. "Can you feel that?" he asked quietly. "Can you feel my heartbeat? That's real. I'm real."

“No, you’re not, sweet boy,” You whisper, your body slowly fading away.

His eyes widened in alarm as he watched your form start to disappear once again. "No, no, no, no, you can't leave me!" He clutched at your hand tightly, unwilling to let you go. "No, you must be real. You have to be!" Panic and despair welled up inside him as he saw your body fading. He gripped tighter onto your hand, desperately trying to keep you with him. "Please, don't disappear," he pleaded, his voice trembling. "I need you. Don't leave me alone again."

“Wake up,” is the last thing you whisper before disappearing from his grasp.

His eyes snapped open, and he jolted upright in his bed. He was bathed in sweat, his heart racing and his breaths coming out in pants. He sat there for a moment, disoriented and confused. It had all felt so real, yet now he was back in his cold, empty room.

He raked a hand through his messy hair, raking his mind over the dream he had just had, searching for answers.

He couldn't shake the feeling of melancholy that had settled over him. He could still remember the way you had felt in his arms, the warmth of your touch and the sweet melody of your voice. He could still see your captivating smile and the sparkle in your eyes. But it was all just a dream.

He ran a hand over his face, feeling both physically and emotionally exhausted. He looked around at his room, which now seemed even more hollow without your presence. He let out a deep sigh, feeling more lonely and empty than ever.

It was clear he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep in the bed you once shared so he ambled back to the kitchen sleepily and grabbed one of the cookies you’d left in one hand, a bottle in the other, chugging it with no reaction to the sting.

Stumbling to the sofa and collapsing down, now with his system in overdrive, he couldn’t help but selfishly hope you’d come back and save him from falling deeper into oblivion.

But he knew you wouldn’t and most painfully of all, he knew that he deserved it.

You needed me but you needed drugs more and I couldn’t watch it happen

I changed into goddesses, villains, and fools

Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules

All to outrun my desertion of you

And you just watched it

If you wanna break my cold, cold heart, just say “I loved you the way that you were”

If you wanna tear my world apart, just say you’ve always wondered

— Taylor Swift

[literallydontknowdontcare]

idk if you’ve done this already bc all the vanessa fics r merging together in my brain, but maybe smtg where she has a very stressful day at work, and needs to take her anger out in a healthy way (by doing the reader!!!)

Taking It Out On You

a/n: I love this prompt but I was on a certain sleepy drug when writing (I'm sick as hell right now) so I have no idea if this is good LOL. Anyway, exams are officially over so MORE FICS! YAY! And thanks for the love recently, you all are amazing :) Enjoy!

Content/Warning: smut, choking, pussy slapping, fingering [all r receiving], exhausted/pissed off Vanessa, handcuff use, gun used on you to get you off, you being a good baker, side note I love the Elizabeth lail edits recently 

w/c: 2304

You swayed your hips to the radio. Recently, there was more 80s music than new age, which you weren’t complaining about; sure, you missed hearing the newly hyped singer Miss Britney Spears, but even you had to admit Tears for Fears had a kick to it. Kneading into the last of the cookie dough, you conveniently hear the rumble of Vanessa's police vehicle pulling up to your shared home. Smiling, you pause the music, swiping off the flour that dusted the white countertops onto your apron just as the engine outside slows to a halt. The bench is now fairly clean, you wait eagerly as you see the faint outline of your girlfriend emerging from the car through the window.

The front door clicks open. You hear Vanessa’s footsteps thud a lot less carefully; usually, she would sneak up behind you from wherever you were in the house. She gradually got better at it, too, her dangerous job teaching her a thing or two. It was unlike her to come home after a long shift careless, thudding her jacket and gear on the ground before pressing herself behind you. She inhaled the scent of your freshly washed hair, groaning.

“Bad day?”, you ask, grabbing the pan of unbaked goods and placing them into the oven, Vanessa moving with you so she didn’t have to remove her grasp around you. She huffed as a reply. As you stood back up, she whipped you around, momentarily giving you whiplash. You took in her expression for the first time; her eyes were essentially dead, her pressed lips giving the smallest of indications that she was happy to be home as she attempted a smile when your eyes met.

“It was... Definitely a day”, she sighed. You tilted your head, lifting your hands to cup her face.

“Want to talk about it?”, you prod gently. It seemed that Vanessa was experiencing harder rosters more frequently than before: you presumed it was the pressure of her father, whom she almost never talked about, getting to her. Vanessa simply stared behind you at the oven, her dull eyes beginning to twinkle. “Chocolate chip?”, she questioned, avoiding your query.

You bit your lip and nodded. Her eyes met yours again and you pushed your face closer to hers, not quite reaching her lips but certainly leaving the possibility. Maintaining eye contact, you reach behind her head and softly pull on the hairtie of her ponytail, letting her short, blonde hair loose. She fluttered her eyes closed, groaning. You slide your fingers through the strands of her hair, pulling on them slightly to release any tension. Vanessa inhaled deeply. Pressing your lips against her jaw, you start to pepper her face with small kisses when you feel her take her hands off you, to your dismay.

*Shuffle shuffle*

Vanessa fiddled with her police belt, something that made your groin twist deliciously just from the sound of it. It usually meant one of two things: either she was about to take it off and with it her pants, or she was about to use something *from her belt*. As you attempt to part your lips from her face, she cuts you off.

“Don’t look”, she retorts. As much as you’d like to disobey those orders, there was no way you wanted to be her day even shittier. Swallowing a lump in your throat, you rest your head against her neck as you feel her take something off her belt. Smirking, she raises the object up to your stomach, pressing it deep into your flesh. You gasp and jump back, the coolness startling you. Before you could look down, she spun you around, slamming you against the sink. You whine, your knuckles gripping onto the counter. Vanessa returned to your behind in a flash, grinding her front against you. Disappointingly, you couldn’t feel a strap underneath her pants. You huff, which she notices immediately.

Grabbing onto your neck with a force that startled you, she brought you up so that you were standing straight up as opposed to being bent over. “With what I’m about to do to you, we won’t be needing my cock, baby”, she growled, her hand beginning to tighten around the sides of your neck. You gasp out, your hands rising to your neck to ease the grip, only to be yanked away behind you.

“Vanessa”, you cautioned, unsure of what she was getting at. You heard the jangle of the metal cuffs and froze. “You wanted to help me, yeah?”, she sang sweetly. “Baking me something, cleaning up the front of the house for me”, regarding the time you spent earlier today reorganizing and decorating the place for winter to make it homier.

“You want to make me feel good?”

You don’t hesitate to answer. “Always”

“Then let me use you”. You hear the clank of the cuffs being closed around your hands tightly, Vanessa's leg coming up between your legs that you opened just for her. “Let me see you come with my gun in your mouth”. At that sentence alone, you couldn’t help but let out a moan, jolting your hips involuntarily down on the thigh she had graciously given you. She laughed darkly behind you, removing herself completely from you, making you cry out and turn around to face her. You already missed her manicured hand that fit so perfectly around your neck, acting like a necklace you wished you could always have.

“Couch, baby”, Vanessa demanded, allowing herself to watch you as you made your way out of the room; God, you being in her handcuffs with a vacant, submissive look in your eyes made her want to double down on being rough with you. She followed you soon after, the only thing missing from her outfit being the cuffs that were around your hands and the gun... That was being held so confidently in Vanessa's right hand.

You shifted from your position on the couch, unsure. She laid it beside you, her mouth twitching at your confusion, before climbing on top of you to straddle your waist. She slammed her lips onto yours passionately, hot saliva mixing on both lips. Your moans gradually got louder as her hands attached to the back of your head, roughly pulling at your hair. Vanessa bites your lip harshly, grinning as you try to back away. Her hands leave your hair and begin to forcefully strip your pants from your body. Parting your lips from hers, you lift your legs up to assist her. The soft warm light from the living room lamp perfectly accentuated each other's features; Vanessa's eyes were completely focused on you, taking your sticky panties and flushed cheeks.

“Top off”, she leaned back, watching you rush to meet her demand, smirking as you fumbled with the buttons of your shirt. Now being completely naked, your skimpy bra and underwear being the only things covering your very aroused parts, she spread your thighs with an air of smugness.

“Vanessa”, you pout, jerking your pussy up. She trailed a slim finger along the top of your briefs, pulling them down slowly. Your breasts rise and fall rapidly at the sensuality of it all: the relaxed pace made you even more blushed. Moving her fingers around your folds, you lean your head back, closing your eyes in pleasure. Suddenly, Vanessa slapped at your pussy. Crying out, you snap your head back up and shut your legs. She didn’t like that. Narrowing her eyes, she yanked them back open, harshly slapping the inner side. “Keep them open. Don’t make me tie up your legs as well”. You squirm as she rubs her middle and ring finger quickly on your puffy clit, mewing out loud at the vulgar noises she was creating.

“So sweet like this, hm? Think you can last more than... What was it? Eight seconds?”, Vanessa snickered, recalling the time you came so quickly underneath her that it was actually dismal. You blush at her mocking tone. She swirled her fingers around your opening, her mouth twitching at the way your pussy spasmed when she pumped them in. You lay down, whimpering as she picked up the pace. With no regard to how prepared you were, she shoved two more fingers in. Wailing, you move your hips with her, remembering that she wasn’t doing this for you; she was doing this for her. The thrusts turned into a heavy pound, your moans making it known that you couldn’t take it. Vanessa feasted her eyes on your body, licking her lips at the way your arousal pooled on the leather of the couch. As you were distracted with the overwhelming urge to come right there and then, she reached for the gun. Too zoned out to notice, you felt her lips attach to your neck. “Don’t make a mark”, you plead as best as you can. She ignores you, licking at your sweet spot before sinking her teeth into the flesh. Hissing, you pull away before stopping dead in your tracks.

Pressed against your stomach was Vanessa’s gun. Just a Glock 22, you knew that much, as it was the same one every cop used around here. Though, the coldness of the frame stunned you, both from the Glock and Vanessas stared. She stared you down as she removed her other hand from your pussy, smirking at the yelp it caused. Your fluids glistened on her hand in the warm light. You wearily watch her stroke her hand up and down the tip of the gun.

Once satisfied, she pointed the gun at your stomach, tilting her head at your small gasp of exhilaration and fear. “I won’t do anything you don’t want to do. Are you sure about this?”, she asked sweetly. Her gun was completely empty, for she always took the bullets out at the office after a shift. You didn’t know this, though. You would be relying completely on her skill and carefulness in handling a gun. Vanessa's stomach twisted deliciously at your utter dependence on her. Sucking a breath in, you nod.

She trailed the cool gun up your body, stopping short at your mouth. Pulling your messy hair back, your face red, she tapped the tip of your swollen lips. “Open up for me baby”, she husked. Opening your mouth, you stick your tongue out and swirl it around the muzzle, breasts rapidly rising and falling from the thrill of it all. She forces the frame in, resting her finger on the trigger. You groan at the taste of your own cum. “See? Look how good you can be”, Vanessa murmured, shifting her body as she felt her own pussy thud. Unable to go slowly anymore, she began to roughly thrust the gun in and out of your throat, abusing it as she would with her strap. You gag as it passes your comfort zone, rolling your eyes back when you feel her other hand slap your pussy once more. She stands up, laughing darkly to herself at your obedience. Your eyelashes flutter, saliva dribbling onto the glock. Holding onto your head, she takes out the gun and pulls you up to turn you around. Your hands, still cuffed, grab onto the top of the back pillows, your knees digging into the seat.

“You going to punish me, officer? I thought you said I was a good girl”, you purr. You felt Vanessa’s hands wrap around your front. Your neck was snapped back as she gripped you, sliding the gun through your folds. “If you think this is me punishing you, you better hope you don’t disobey me”, she taunted. She plunged the muzzle into your pussy, groaning at how easily it slipped in. Almost immediately, she rammed it at a swift rate, choking you when your sobs went too loud. Widening your eyes, you lift your bound hands to your neck and grab onto her hand to ease the grip. “Enough”, she spat, fucking you faster and squeezing your neck harder. Your hips were slamming between the cushions and Vanessa's thighs, arousal streaming down your body. With a muffled cry, you tightened your grip around her hand, signaling your need for release. By some sort of miracle, she went even faster. The combination of Vanessa's grunts, the pressure on your throat, and the gun that was currently abusing your overworked pussy made you scream out in pleasure.

“Uh uh. Tell me what you want”, Vanessa asked, refusing to accept your nonverbal request to cum.

Swallowing once, twice, you manage to simper out, “Pl-Please officer. Let me cum, please please please plea-”

In a flash, she released her grasp from your neck and shoved her fingers into your mouth, her pace in your pussy unchanging. You cum with a scream, your body jolting at the stimulation.

“There's a good girl”, she cooed, slowing her thrusts before removing the gun from your destroyed pussy. You flop your head backward onto her shoulder, staring at the ceiling as the world around you doubles. You felt Vanessa softly rub your thighs, whispering words of encouragement as you faded back to earth from your high.

“Always such a good girl when you play sweet”, she smiled as you turned your head to kiss her. Deepening the kiss, she placed the soaked gun down and wrapped her hands fully around you, inhaling your scent. She moved her lips to your jaw, where she peppered soft kisses as you giggled.

“Vanessa”

“Mh?”

“The handcuffs”

Vanessa laughed on your neck, pulling herself away from you.

“Stay there, I’ll be right back”

As she walked out of the living room and into the kitchen, you remembered the cookies that were still baking. “And check on the oven as well”, you shout out, collapsing onto the couch with a small grin.

[whiskeyghoul]

7 || She blinded me with science || [Spencer Reid x Goth!Reader]

First part, Previous part, Next part

A/N: Okay this is mostly just fluff to lead up to more things. Anyways, reader getting out of the lab dungeon! Yay! Also Spencer is definitely the type of person to get overwhelmed by feelings and get too into his head with everything. So here is a chapter of just the inner musing of the ‘oh my god I am going too fast.’ and ‘I really want to do more with them. What if I scare them off.’ type of things. Because he already realized his feelings but he is too blinded by them to see yours. Not proof read once again oops.

WC: 3 K

Tags: Fluff, just pure fluff, idiots in love, mentions of things from the past, reminiscing.

Warnings: None.

Spencer POV

Spencer had decided that he’d finish the week by staying home. So when he arrived at Quantico on Monday morning, two coffees in hand, he felt refreshed in a weird way. Where at the start of the week before he had felt terrible, tired, aching. Now he had a slight lightness in his step. The satchel hanging off of his shoulder was heavy, filled with his paperwork that he had done at home. He had spent that Friday actually working on it, feeling better than he had before that.

When you had come over that last Thursday, he had listened to your apology. Realizing how much of an impact on your life your ex had. He just hoped that it was over now. Because when he thought about you, being hurt, stalked. It made something inside him so angry. That when you had sat across from him at his dining table he just wanted you to stay close to him forever. So that he could be the one to keep an eye on you. It felt possessive. Which he hadn’t felt before. Not about a person at least.

About his favorite book, yes. Or his personal mug. About the chess set he had gotten from his mother years ago. Yet you were the first person to stir up similar feelings inside of him. He had almost even invited you to stay over that night. Which was moving way too fast considering you had just hurt his feelings immensely about a week before. Yet seeing you, in that big ragged hoodie, completely disheveled, vulnerable. He needed you close. He also wanted to kick Tommy in the teeth if he ever ran into him. For hurting you. For being a dick. He’d never felt like intentionally hurting someone like that. But you did something to him.

Spencer walked to the frosted glass door, knocking quickly before stepping in. He watched as you sat up at your desk, eyes meeting him, your concentrated frown turned to a smile. The way the crease in your brown relaxed at the sight of him made his heart still for a moment. He hadn’t thought that the sight of him was enough to make you smile. Wanting to immerse himself in that feeling. If only for a moment. “Morning Spencer.” Your voice was chipper that morning. He noted you looked put together, happy, carefree. Though that is what getting rid of a stalker usually does. He walked over, knowing he couldn’t stay long but wanting to spend as much time with you as he could.

“Good morning.” He returned with a smile, handing over the coffee that had kept his hand warm on his walk up. You gladly took it, taking an immediate sip. “You are a godsend.” You spoke with a smile after placing the cup down. “Because of the coffee or is there another reason for this compliment?” He asked, an amused smile playing on his lips as he took off the purple scarf he had worn on his way over. Draping it over the back of one of the desk chairs. “Both. I couldn’t get coffee this morning, I was in a rush since I got new evidence in.” You said, and got up from your chair, ready to show him whatever you got in. “Look, this is so interesting, they found a butt load of money on the victim. It was found at the crime scene, there was powder that could either be used for tracing or could be some drugs. Maybe it’s cocaine, maybe it is a poison absorbed through the skin.” You continued, holding up the evidence bag with a few hundred dollar notes.

“What’s the other reason?” Spencer asked. You blinked, just a little confused. “For the powder?” You questioned in return. “For the compliment.” Spencer answered and you blinked again. Doe eyed and a little embarrassed. Clearly you had changed the subject because you didn’t want to tell him the true reason. “Ehm… well, you- you look really good.” Your face had gotten tinged red as you stammered over your words. Spencer smiled. Without even thinking he leaned slightly down. Planting a tender kiss on your cheek. He couldn’t not, seeing your pinkened cheeks, the urge to kiss you was almost unbearable. But he could hold back enough to just press his lips on the apple of your cheek. Your skin was soft and warm against them. The smell of your perfume once again wafting up into his nose. It was a quick second of a move but he would keep that moment in his memories forever. 

When he pulled away you looked still as flustered as before. “What was that for?” your voice was sweet, not even a hint of apprehension in them. You feigned confusion, he could see it in the way your eyes looked at him with a slight twinkle. Only one brow quirking up and a lopsided smile that you tried to hold back. “You look really good too.” Spencer answered, his cheeks feeling just the slightest hint of warmth. He watched you, the way your bottom lip got caught between your teeth as you struggled to keep from smiling too much. He wanted to keep that look all to himself. His hands aching again to pull you closer to him, to let himself melt into that cherry scent. To never stop kissing those sweet lips. He could stay in the lab forever with you if you would let him. Or if his boss would. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket before the sound went off. The ding of a text message that was probably sent by one of his colleagues wondering why he was later than usual.

“I think you need to get to work too.” You spoke with a hint of disappointment. A sigh crossed your slightly parted lips. “I can come back for lunch.” Spencer spoke quickly, so ready to return to you even when he hasn’t left yet. “You always have lunch here, I am sure you must be sick of the lab.” You quickly protested. How could he be sick of the place where he gets to spend time with you. It was a preposterous thought. Nothing like that would have ever crossed his mind

“What if I come to you for lunch? Would that be okay?” you asked. “Are you sure? I mean… I would love that! If you want to of course. But isn’t this your space? I get it if you don’t want to go somewhere else to have lunch. Though if you do want to. I can show you my desk. Penelope would also be happy to see you, I’m sure.” Spencer rambled, until he realized he was rambling. The last word trailing off. He knew what you were doing, you were trying to make him comfortable. Even though he wasn’t uncomfortable in the lab. Yes, it was a bit of a walk, but he never complained because it meant you two would have lunch together. But he did realize he always came to you. And maybe, you had felt bad for making him come down every time. Though, you never asked him to besides the first time. After that it was all on his own accord. “I think I should broaden my horizons outside of the lab.” You joked, the giggle following your words sounding like a melody to him. “Right. Then, I would love to.” He smiled, his face feeling suddenly hot with embarrassment. His phone went off again. 

Spencer watched as you placed your hands on his shoulders. The feeling sent tingles down his spine. “I will see you at lunch then. Thank you for the coffee, pretty boy.” You quickly moved up onto your toes and placed a peck on his cheek. Mirroring what he had done to you. So casual. A peculiar kind that bordered on domestic. He locked that thought away for now. Not wanting to open that can of worms when he had just known you for a month, maybe less. It had only been 2 weeks since your first true kiss, in the museum. God he was moving quick, he might even scare himself with the rate at which these feelings grew inside of him. He realized he loved you, but saying that now would be too soon. You spun him around , his out of control thoughts quieting down, before giving a light push towards the door of the lab. Just as the notification sound went off for a third time.

When Spencer made his way to the bullpen of the BAU and took a seat at his desk he heard Derek whistle. “Got a little honey I see. And so early in the morning, how does he do it ladies and gents?” The man sidled up to his desk as Spencer bent down to put his bag on the ground. He looked back up to Derek with a little confusion, until he realized. His eyes went just a little wide. He had been so dazed by the fact you kissed him so quickly, and then shoved him to get to work, he forgot to check his face for what most likely would be a deep red mark on his left cheek. “You got a little something right there.” Derek pointed to his own cheek with a grin.

“Just because you can’t get it doesn’t mean you have to make fun of me.” Spencer sassed, grabbing a tissue and wetting it with water from his bottle, wiping at his cheek to remove your lipstick stain. Even though it hurt him slightly to remove the lasting mark you left on him. “Oh I am not making fun of anyone. I am proud. You return back after a week of absence due to a broken heart with what is clearly a sign that she’s still into you.” Derek explained, hands up in a defensive pose. Though he still had that grin. “Or you moved on to someone new really quickly.”

Spencer looked at the stain on the tissue, it was still vaguely kiss shaped. “We made up.” He said softly, a little embarrassed again. He knew Derek truly didn’t mean any harm with his words, they were teasing, like the older brother he never had but wished he did. “Good for you.” Derek said as he patted his shoulder before returning to his own desk. Spencer sat down, stuffing the tissue in his pocket before he went to work on filing the paperwork.

Spencer kept looking at the clock, hoping, praying they wouldn’t get a case until after lunch. Maybe that was a selfish thought, wanting the murders and the kidnappings to wait for his own gain. He knew that if they were needed they would fly out within 30 minutes. But lunch with you was important. So every few minutes he looked at the clock. Every time the elevator made a noise his eyes would flick over. The clock crept nearer to 12 pm, then when it hit 12:15 on the dot the elevator doors opened. And there you were, white coat foregone, two small bags in your hands that he supposed contained your lunch. You looked around the room a little nervous.

Spencer got up from his seat, waving you over with a smile. You lit up once you saw him, walking over quickly, boots thudding heavy against the linoleum of the bullpen. “Hey.” Spencer said with a smile, feeling a little too excited. “Hey.” you said in turn with a big smile. “I eh… got lunch for the both of us. If that’s not overstepping.” You said, holding out one of the paper bags. “I texted Penelope, she said you liked BLT so I truly hope you do.” you spoke quickly and Spencer grabbed the bag with a smile. The fact that you went out of your way to get him something he liked, to text Penelope, it made his heart swell. “I do. Thank you.” He said and motioned for you to take his seat.

As he did Spencer looked around the room for a second, a slightly surprised look from Emily, a confused one from JJ, and Derek just smiled before giving him a thumbs up. A sudden reminder that he never told Emily or JJ, and he was lucky David and Aaron sat in their own offices. He could not handle getting dating advice from David right now. You sat down in his seat as Spencer pulled a free chair over, sitting next to you. Closing a few books to make space to put the food down. “Sorry, it’s a bit of a mess.” He apologized but you simply smiled. “It’s okay. I like it, it’s your apartment but in desk form.” You commented, looking over the things on his desk.

He felt a little embarrassed by the few knick-knacks that were on there. The post it notes stuck to any service as reminders of things to do. He watched as you picked up the picture frame, a photo of his mom and him in there. “That’s my mom, Diana…” he said, as he watched your intent look. “She looks nice. You have similar bone structure.” You commented. Spencer let out a soft chuckle, “No one has ever commented on our bone structure before.” He said it softly. His mom was still a little sore of a subject, he knew the situation wasn’t likely to change, his mom would just get worse. But he wasn’t ready to tell you about that part just yet. Maybe soon. He did need to tell his mom about you. He’d probably have to tell her multiple times, he just hoped she would be happy for him. “But you do!” You quickly retaliated, turning the picture to him, “all these angles, the big eyes.” you tried to reason and Spencer only chuckled more. “Didn’t you come to have lunch?” He asked as he started to unwrap the sandwich that you got for him.

“And maybe to snoop a little.” You confessed as you quickly took a bite of your own sandwich. Spencer’s eyes widened slightly, just a little surprised and amused. “Shouldn’t snooping happen without the other person’s knowledge?” He asked, taking his own first bite of the sandwich. Somehow, it tasted better when you were around. You shrugged dismissively, though a small smirk played along those blood red lips. He thought about it, about kissing you right there in the bullpen. Looking pretty in his chair, at his desk. Though he’d probably never hear the end of it from the entire team. He didn’t really care. There was that possessiveness again. Wanting to show you and him were a thing… though you never really said you were a thing. “It feels wrong to snoop on you.” You admitted, sheepish grin and a slight nudge of your shoulder against his. This is what happiness felt like. The sadness of the last week is quickly forgotten, just by having you pay attention to him again. He was weak for you.

“I appreciate the informed snooping.” He laughed softly. “I’ll make sure to only snoop when you know.” Your reply made him smile more. The both of you finished your lunch, eating and talking, until Aaron walked in. “Round table room, 10 minutes.” He stated it coolly, only inferring to Spencer that this could be a serious case. Spencer looked at you, a little apologetic. He didn’t want to leave. Wanted to finish lunch in all peace with you. “I’m sorry.” He apologized as he started to pack up the half eaten sandwich back into the paper it came in. At Least he’d be able to finish it later. “It’s okay. It is your job.” You answered, standing up before a look of realization came over you. It confused him for a moment as you looked at him with your lips parted. “What?” he asked, brows scrunching slightly. “You left your scarf in the lab. I wanted to bring it. I’m sorry, I can go get it.” You rambled. “That’s okay, no need. I can pick it up when we get back.” He assured. It was sweet how you thought about it. Wanting to return his scarf when he had to leave. Maybe to make sure he wouldn’t be cold.

“Alright… You’d have to come back soon, be safe.” Those words made his heart skip a beat. It was sweet. How you cared, made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. “I will.” He said with a nod. He wanted to bend his head down again, to kiss you and not care about his friends in the room. Instead of giving in to the urge of wanting to kiss you, he pulled you into a hug. Wrapping his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder. He felt your arms wrap around him. Warmth taking over him. He pressed his nose into the crook of your neck, taking in a deep breath. Emitting your scent to memory. The feeling of you in his arms tucked away for when he needed to remember it. He almost didn’t want to let go. You were the one to pull away first. Spencer reluctantly let his arms drop back to his sides. “I’ll see you soon.” you said it softly and with a smile. He nodded his head, “I’ll text you every day.” he answered before gathering his things and heading to the round table room. A quick glance back to see you still standing at his desk, a small wave goodbye before he left to go do his job.

He just hoped it wouldn’t be a long one.

Tag list:

@luvkatryna @emma-e-a @littlemadamred @cultish-corner @styleiconsize0 @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @depressedbutartsy @mikariell95 @jasf444 @queermaxwooo @ill-be-okay-soon-enough @sammy-4103 @thedevioussmirk @pleasantwitchgarden @khxna   @suckstobrlaurie @mega-kittyglitter-1 @superlegend216 @seninjakitey

[transsongtaewon]

Magical Girl Yerim AU

Yerim becomes a magical girl some time after her parents die, while living with her uncle

Not really a conflict while she's there since no one really cares what she's up to. Yay.

She is known as the Ice Queen

however once Yoojin becomes her guardian... who knew having an involved parent could be such a hindrance

I mean, a guardian who would object to you going to fight deadly monsters??? Cruel.

Yoojin assumes she needs some time to warm up to them since it's a new situation etc. and is trying to give her space until she is more comfortable

Yoohyun is Deeply Suspicious because obviously this annoying new kid is hiding something and it might be dangerous to hyung!!!

(also she's eating into his precious Hyung-time but that's obviously not why he's upset. Not at all.)

...anyway, he follows her one night when she sneaks out and gets caught up in one of her battles against the forces of evil, which results in him also becoming a magical girl.

Oops

"This is what you've been doing???" "What did you think it was?!" "Idk, drugs?" *sounds of violence*

Yoohyun becomes her de-facto fighting partner even though their powers do not compliment each other and half the time they are about as likely to attack each other as their enemy, but still, they usually win so it works out

And now they share a secret

Yoohyun does not like keeping this a secret from Yoojin, but also Yoojin would try to fight monsters on their behalf and it would likely end Very Badly so they agree to just not mention this whole thing to him

it does mean they have to hang out more now. And collude to hide their secret identities, much to their annoyance

Yoohyun starts to pick Yerim up after school so they have more time to plan/train and Yerim's friends are smitten with the hot older boy, which is the worst thing that's ever happened to Yerim. Yoohyun is subsequently banished to wait the next block over

Yoojin is delighted because obviously this means they get along well now! His sweet kids are finally adjusting to each other! Sure, they quarrel a lot, but it's always in good fun :-)

obviously he still worries a lot because they live in a world where monsters randomly attack and his kids always go missing during those times for some reason

one time he is looking for them and runs into Ice Queen:

Yoojin: "Have you seen my daughter, she is 15 and about your height, I'm really worried" Yerim: "...No." 🧍‍♂�� "But I'm sure she's fine, don't worry" (Yoojin continues to worry)

Yoojin also loves getting kidnapped by bad guys which is tremendously stressful to his kids, but somehow by the time they free him, his captors are frequently already crying or unconscious

Peace is a monster that was purified by Yoohyun in a fight and he planned to get rid of him, but Yoojin finds them while he's arguing with Yerim what to do about the monster and decides to adopt the incredibly adorable cat that also happens to have a horn. Stranger things have happened

tldr, Yerim and Yoohyun become reluctant siblings/partners in crime and are vaguely annoyed every time they notice they actually get along. But maybe it's nice to have someone you can rely on to have your back. Possibly.

they sometimes accidentally fall asleep on the couch together and whenever Yoojin comes across this scene he almost cries from how cute they are (and takes pictures as proof, horrifying both Yerim and Yoohyun)

(Also obviously Yoojin has his inklings about what's going on and goes on a quest to make sure his wards are safe, where he encounters head of the Supernatural Associates Department, Song Taewon, and seasoned magical girl (grown man) Chains. Things proceed from there in a very gay manner.)

[morganski-19]

The One with the Banishment

This is a continuation of the previous post, because the tags from @puppy-steve inspired me to continue it.

A few hours later, Robin is awoken from her own nap with a knock on the door. Steve asleep on the couch, head flopped on his shoulder. Snoring. She unwraps herself from her blanket, heading for the door.

“Oh god,” she says when it opens to Eddie wrapped in a blanket, pale as a ghost.

“Nancy said you have soup,” he whispers, voice hoarse.

Robin groans, knowing that Nancy had more cans of soup. Or could just make something. There’s an ulterior motive here.

“Get in here.” Robin steps out of the way to let him through.

Eddie waddles through the door to the living room. Looking confused when he gets there.

“Sit next to Steve.” Robin nudges Steve.

Steve jolts awake, sucking in so much air is sends him into a coughing fit. Robin makes a disgusted face as it continues into a sniffling mess. He turns to grab some tissues but sees Eddie next to him. Making the most delirious confused face ever. “I’m not hallucinating him here, right?”

Eddie laughs, which also sends him into a coughing fit. “In your dream, Harrington,” he gets out between coughs.

Robin stares at the ceiling, taking a deep breath. “I’m going to kill her. I swear, I’ll do it.”

“Who are we killing,” Steve slurs out after making way too much noise blowing his nose.

“Nancy.”

He pulls the blanket back up to his chin with a shiver. “Why, Nancy’s so nice.”

“Not that nice,” Eddie rasps. “She sent me over here just so she doesn’t have to deal with me.”

Steve makes a half angry face, eyes fighting to stay awake. “That’s not nice.”

Eddie tries to make a dramatic gesture, but his arms fall when they get halfway through the air. “I know.”

“What a bitch,” Steve concludes, looking like he’s going to fall asleep again.

“Right now, I’d have to agree.” Robin nudges Steve awake again. “Don’t fall asleep, you need more cold medicine. And to eat something.”

Steve rolls his eyes but sits up straighter anyway.

“Eddie, when’s the last time you had cold medicine?”

Eddie shrugs under his blanket, somehow shivering.

Robin nods, annoyed. “Great. Please hold.” She walks across the hall and bangs on the door. Nancy opens it with a sorry smile.

“Hey, Robbie. Soup not good? Need more tea?”

“You sacked Eddie with me so you don’t get sick, didn’t you.” She crosses her arms.

Nancy looks guilty. “Sort of. If you don’t mind.”

“Like he’ll have enough energy to make it to the bathroom let along across the hall again. And if he’s fine bunking with Steve, I don’t really have a problem with it. I just need all the cold medicine you have since I’m playing nurse.”

“That’s fair.” Nancy heads to the bathroom and comes back with a few things of cold medicine and a bag of cough drops. “Here’s all I have. I gave Eddie this about four hours ago, so he should get more soon.”

Robin takes it. “Thank you. I expect a few more cans of soup and another box of tea in my apartment by dinner tonight.”

“Don’t you think that’s pushing it a little bit?”

Robin glares at Nancy. “I’m already regretting leaving them unsupervised for this long.”

Nancy winces. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll go get some for you.”

“Thank you.”

When Robin gets back to her apartment, Steve and Eddie are having some kind of conversation. Or it at least seems like one. They’re grunting one after another, if that’s what it is. Honestly, they sound a bit like birds.

She silently closes the door behind her and places the medicine on the counter. Takes out her phone to take a video of them, evidence for later. Also, because Argyle would love to see this.

And he does, sends a message back saying that they sound like penguins. It makes Robin burst out laughing, Steve and Eddie trying to look back to see what’s wrong. She waves them off, starting to warm up the soup on the stove while trying to stop laughing.

“Yay, drugs,” Eddie whispers when Robin hands him more cold medicine. Making Steve go into a cough-laughing fit again. Robin should get paid for this shit.

She brings them the soup when it’s done. In their fancy bowls with handles on the side so they can drink it better. It’s interesting to watch them eat, but the steam clears up their noses enough so they can breathe.

Nancy knocks on the door later that afternoon, a bag full of soup and tea standing outside the door when Robin gets it.

Robin: You could have waited for me to answer the door

Nancy: Not going to risk it

Robin: Jesus Christ

Steve and Eddie had fallen asleep on top of each other. Each halfway leaning towards the middle of the couch, the only thing holding them up being each other. Robin takes a few pictures, debating to wake them up for more medicine.

But she doesn’t have to this time. A few minutes later, Eddie is pushing off the blanket and accidently hits Steve in the face. Making him hit Eddie in the head with his own when his reflexes kick in. They both wake up with a groan.

Robin laughs again. “You two are the most helpless idiots I will ever know.”

“You’re mean.” Eddie sits up, rubbing the spot where Steve’s head hit him. Steve sits up too, holding the cheek that was elbowed. Robin gets them both an ice pack. Then more medicine.

Later that night, Robin makes them stand up so she can rearrange the living room to pull out the bed from the couch. It’s their rule whenever one of them is sick. Much easier to sleep in the living room so there’s less obstacles to run into when going to the bathroom. She makes up the bed and lets them fall into it.

They fall asleep almost instantly, with weird sick snores because they can’t breathe that well right now. She heads to the bathroom, takes an extra long shower to scrub off as many germs as she can. Even if she knows that’s not exactly how it works. Takes her temperature and refills her little pocket hand sanitizer. She’s good for now.

The next morning, Steve and Eddie are a sick pretzel. Eddie’s blanket thrown across the room at some point, so he stole Steve’s. Pulling both Steve and the blanket on top of him since he was completely rolled in it. Half of their limbs hanging off of the bed, with one wrong move the rest of their body would follow.

Robin laughs and takes out her phone, taking a picture and sending it to Nancy.

Robin: Look at our boys

Nancy: Omg, they did that in their sleep?

Robin: Yep

Nancy: How are they?

Robin: Don’t know, haven’t woken them up yet

Robin: Needed evidence of this

Nancy: Let me know when you do

Nancy: I can’t keep Eddie away from his things for too long, just until he’s not contagious anymore

Robin: Thanks for sacrificing me again

Robin: Makes me feel so appreciated

Nancy: I already apologized and bought you food, what else could you possibly want

Robin: I’ll think of something

A message from Argyle pop up of Robin’s phone, making her burst out laughing again.

Argyle: Maybe we could convince Eddie to give Steve a rock and then they’ll be penguin married

Robin: I just laughed so hard I woke them up

Argyle: Oops, sorry dude

Robin: Don’t be, that was hilarious

Robin: It also would stop their dumbassery

Argyle: That it would indeed

Eddie wakes up with a coughing fit, the extra weight of Steve definitely not helping. After the initial confusion, Steve manages to role himself off of Eddie and lays on his back, struggling to breathe. Robin takes a deep breath, grabbing the cold meds and doing it all over again.

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or taken off) @slowandsteddie, @annieofhearts, @cacdyke, @ubpd, @captain--low, @thespaceantwhowrites, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @anne-bennett-cosplayer, @lunaticparisianlady, @apomaro-mellow, @dolphincliffs, @dragonmama76, @maggiebug417, @stevesbipanic, @fearieshadow, @eightpackdiaz, @au79burger @bookworm0690 , @practicallybegging, @potato-of-the-lord, @autumncrocusandladybug, @estrellami-1

[hils79]

Hils Watches Mysterious Lotus Casebook - Ep 1

Okay, I really shouldn't be doing this, but I keep seeing gifs and how am I supposed to resist two of my DMBJ boys in the same drama. Especially when one of them is Cheng Yi who I love.

Also, I promised @xantissa I would check it out and report back.

I'm only going to be watching this in slow time because I really want to finish The King's Avatar, but on a weekend when I have a bit more free time I can squeeze in an ep here or there. So there won't be regular updates for this one.

Also, I don't have a VIP iqiyi account so I can't watch it too fast anyway :D

I think I read that people involved Blood of Youth and Love and Redemption were involved in this? Or it has similar vibes to them? Either way I loved both of those dramas so I am hopeful for this one

I'm only on the opening credits but, god, look at him. He's so good at looking tortured and pretty

Oh no I am having traumatic Heroes flashbacks. Hopefully this will be less sad.

He always looks so good when he's getting whumped and I'm glad whoever made this realised that

God to love a drama that starts with an establishing backstory

At 17 I was still in school and had no idea what to do with my life

Very much enjoying this dramatic boat fight

Oh no has he been poisoned? That's fighting dirty!

7 minutes into the first episode and he's spitting blood. That might be a new record for him

Flashfoward 10 years and Cheng Yi is now a doctor and apparently mpreg is a thing

I love his doggo already

I'm assuming there's a reason he's wearing this mask beyond The Aesthetic

Lady, it is rude to just rip a dude's mask off without his consent

Ah, that's why he was wearing the mask. He wanted to be a cop so badly he went to cop school undercover

Well, Zeng Shunxi does have experience playing the only heir to a wealthy family whose parents don't approve of the line of work he's gone into

Not sure that's true given Li Xiangyi 'died' 10 years ago when Zeng Shunxi will have been about 10

God, you can see why he was cast as Wu Xie

Ehehe! I knew he was lying

God, he's so cute

I love that they keep cutting to random shots of the dog. The editor clearly knows what's important

Yes, good. He's already vowing to marry Li Xiangyi

Wow they literally just met

Congrats you now have a sugar baby

Yep. Cool.

Aww they were getting along so well and then Li Xiangyi drugged him and told him he was a useless detective

Well, he brought the dead back to life so I guess Fang Duobing has to marry him now

I really hope that he actually said that

Yes, please do slam him into a tree and then feel him up

YAY! Soon they will solve crime together

That was a lot of fun. I'm not used to seeing Cheng Yi in a more comedic role. I'm used to him being all stoic and pining

[lavndvrr]

Fic rec Friday!!! 2

I don't feel like doing an introduction so here's a perleo themed week

Swimming Lessons

"So, let me get this straight," said Percy, "we've been friends for years now, and I've never taught you how to swim?" Leo cringed in embarrassment. "Well, yeah. That's embarrassing as hell, man. You're the only person who knows," But Percy just grinned. "Huh. I guess I have to teach you then," he shrugged. "Y'know, part of the son-of-Posiedon package."

okay but this fic is just so cute and adorable. First we have the unrequited valgrace which is always good (its a nice sprinkle of angst) and then we have Percy and Leo being sooooo cute!!! Ugh its so good even if Jason didn't reciprocate Leo's pinning. Hands down one of my favorite perleo fics so do yourself a favor and read it.

2. They'll Think of me Kindly (when they come for my things)

Jason has passed, now all they have is each other.

Ugh its short but sweet (by sweet I mean devastating) its the ship Jason/percy/Leo (THERE IS WAYY TOO MUCH JASON IN A PERLEO FIC REC BUT IM NOT COMPLAINING) its essentially just Percy and Leo mourning Jason. Its sad.

3. Satisfy the love that you crave

they’re at a theme park. adrenaline runs pretty and hot through their blood. maybe this drug is worth the consequences.

OH MY GOD this is so cuteeeeeee, the fluff is tooth-rotting. I was grinning the entire time because OH MY GOD I love them and I love the way the author wrote them <3333

(be warned this fic is kinda smut but not really- like almost smut)

4. we're capable of the most incredible change

Leo doesn't know Percy very well, but he's starting to want to get to know him better.

Most all of these are fluffy one-shots and this fic is no exception. Its cute and sweet and lovely. Just percy and Leo being friends and maybe developing feelings...maybe....

5. perleo one-shots

literally just 100 perleo one-shots

Yea so its a self promo...yay... ANYWAYS im working on these perleo one-shots (my goal is to make 100 of them) so if you want to binge of different perleo fics you can read my series. I also take requests lol

I do plan on making another perleo themed one soon (but with angst) but that might be in a while :)

[katsushika-division]

ARB Birthday Special 2024: Touya Kisaragi 

~~ August 20th ~~

“Love is hard to find, hard to keep, and hard to forget.”

Login Lines:

“It’s my birthday again! I’m so excited! Last year was so much fun! I can’t wait to see how this year goes! Hm? Someone’s here! Hi~!”

“You got me a gift! Oh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! *mwah* Today is gonna be a great day! I can feel it~!”

Voice Lines: 

“24 years old...I’m surprised I made it this long. I had so many close calls over the years. Sometimes….some of the people I’ve slept with got a little too…rough with me.”

“I was so excited about my birthday that I couldn’t sleep last night but it’s fine! I’m used to running on a few hours of sleep. At least I was lying on a soft bed and not on the floor of some abandoned building. Done that too many times, and let me tell you it’s not fun.” 

“I wanted to visit a café today, but Hisa-chan said I couldn’t. Said it was “too risky” for me to go. That someone might recognize me and it would get really bad real quick. I get it but…I just want to have some fun on my birthday. Is that too much to ask for?” 

“People tell me that I’m a monster. I know that but…do you think I wanted to be like this? My mind broken beyond repair? Having nightmare after nightmare of people assaulting me for their sick pleasure!? Do you think I asked for that!? I didn’t. So why should I apologize for being a monster? No one ever apologized to me for turning me into one.”  

“Hisa-chan! It’s my birthday! Hehehe! I just can’t help it! I never had anyone celebrate it with me growing up and now I have people who will! …I’m too angry to drown in despair…I still need to kill him. Nothing Hisa-chan! Just talking to myself again. Oh! What did you get me?”

“It’s so cute! Where did you get it? Ooooh! Maybe I can sneak into events like they do! A little murder here and a little murder here! Aww come on Hisa-chan you never let me do anything fun. Boohoo! I still wanna do something tho! Yes! Thanks Hisa-chan!”

“Rin-chan! You remembered! Aww, come on, Rin-chan, let me have a birthday hug from you! Why are you always so mean to me? But hugs are made to make everything feel better! You're no fun, Rin-chan. Ooh! Gimme! Gimme! Yay! Thanks, Rin-chan!” 

“This is? Okay, it’s a secret just between you and me, Rin-chan! I won't tell anyone about this but…it’s not mixed with anything bad, is it? Cause one time, I managed to get some of this stuff, but it was laced with rat poison, and I didn’t feel good for like two weeks.” 

Akihisa Lines:

“Happy Birthday, Touya. I’m well aware of what today is. You certainly spent the last few days excited about it. I still find it a miracle you can smile after everything you’ve gone through Touya. Lesser people would waste away in their despair. Hm? What did you say Touya? If you say so. Now, here's a gift from me. I hope you enjoy it.”

“I called in a favor from an old contact for the holster. It’s quite popular for female assassins to wear it, especially to fancier events. I figured you like it as a way to carry around your knives. Touya please don’t. *snorts* Most things you consider fun Touya would break your parole so no you can’t do them. *sigh* Fine you can do one thing and one thing only. Got me?”

Rintaro Lines:

“Oi! Happy Birthday, Touya. Of course, I fucking remembered you pink thing now stop hugging me. Not everyone is a damn hugging fiend like you Touya. Some of us like our personal space not bothered. Anyway, I got you something. Calm down you little shit! Ugh. Here. ”

“Don’t tell the Old Man but I made some fucking angel dust for you. Guaranteed to give you a really good high. What do you fucking take me for an amateur? I know how to fucking make drugs. I…goddamnit Touya every fucking time you tell me something about your shitty past it makes me fucking wonder how the hell you survived it.”

[stawpny]

hey! I’m bored

so I’m just going to throw you guys some songs that I think can be related to New York or CA/NY or literally any other ship

yay

-

I Think He Knows (TS) - CA falling hard for NY, but York knows this and uses it to his advantage (to get his man, ofc)

Brand New City (Mitski) - Self esteem issues and also drug addiction, kinda 1960’s NY imo

mirrorball/ right where you left me (TS) - NY begging for one of his past lovers to notice him/ pay attention when they were never even in love with him

^tolerate it/ champagne problems (TS) - also like that but more of an angry tone, especially tolerate it. kinda of a self-loathing situation, but also “I hate you, but why did you leave me, what did I do?”

Breaking the Girl (RHCP) - a huge mix of emotion, the “girl” referencing to NY or or or NY could be the player in the situation

The Cut that Always Bleeds (Conan Gray) - how much he relies on others even if it kills him

gold rush (TS) - how NY loves CA, but hates the attention he gets from everyone else, also like 1960’s

A Pearl (Mitski) - past NY/GA, how the Civil War broke them apart, even when they still were head-over-heels in love with each other (led to tolerate it/ champagne problems) The “But I fell in love with a war, and nobody told me it ended”

the grudge (OR) - NY asking himself “tf did I do to deserve this torture” by others but more importantly England

Labyrinth (TS) - letting himself finally fall in love again (with CA, ofc) 😽

-

anyways, I just kinda pulled these from my playlists

woohoo

idek what I’m doing anymore 🤧

but ily guys <3

[mermaidsirennikita]

Do ypu have HR with the hero having this animalistic MINE MINE MINEEEE!!! I know all of them have them but there are some taking it to the next level

Weeeellll lol not all of them tbh. Because we are surrounded by pearl clutchers as of late.......

ANYWAY.

I'm obviously relistening to Seduce Me at Sunrise by Lisa Kleypas, her most underrated banger imo, and when Kev finally gets with the program and sneaks into Win's bedroom all he does is cover her mouth with his hand and go "YOU'RE MINE" and she realizes it is THE FUCK. ON. And then he rails her for like 48 hours in his little fuck cottage, yay!

The Bride by Julie Garwood is the quintessentially MINE MINE MINE romance novel. Medieval border marriage book. Alec Kincaid literally drags Jamie up to a window so his people can look at her, and when someone asks him in Gaelic "what do we call her?" He goes "YOU CALL HER MINE". (He does not realize that Jamie also speaks Gaelic, which is embarrassing for him, but also beneficial because she's like "OH".)

The Dragon and The Pearl by Jeannie Lin... I forget how much the hero says "mine", but he does tattoo the heroine with his symbol (consensually!) and it's soooooo possessive and erotic and emotional. And he's a villainous hero, so he's very like "YOU BELONG TO ME NOW"

Flowers from the Storm by Laura Kinsale has a very alpha hero who suffers a stroke at the beginning of the book. The heroine helps him as he recovers (after some big asylum trauma) and he's always calling her like "my maddgirly" (her name is Maddy) and he's SUPER territorial over her and I love it.

Shadowheart by Laura Kinsale is also a very "MINE" romance, but it's mutual because Allegreto is a horrible villainous alpha who happens to like it when Elena gets rough in bed. However, he also gets his "MUAHAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE ALL MINE NOW" moment. Allegreto is crazy. *Obligatory Shadowheart's First Sex Scene is Noncon Warning*

The Wolf and The Wildflower by Stacy Reid! Wolf Duke is VERY possessive. Because he spent years in the Yukon living with wolves. (Really.) (He sniffs her crotch a lot.) (Shouldn't work but it sure does.)

Stephanie Laurens writes super possessive heroes because they have THE CONQUEROR'S BLOOD and are very alpha as a result. Scandal's Bride is my favorite I've read of hers thus far *obligatory "she drugs him for the first encounter" note* and Richard, lunatic of my heart, literally refers to Catriona as his snack (which he must have every morning or he will be very annoyed, and then he needs like a follow up snack thrice more throughout the day). But like. EVERY Cynster hero is a mine mine mine guy.

Elizabeth Hoyt knows how to write a mine mine mine. The Leopard Prince is an underrated one imo, because like Seduce Me at Sunrise it's one where the hero almost forces himself to give her up but at the last minute he's like "OH NO NO NOOOOOOOOO" and snaps and like, fucks her until she's screaming within earshot of her brothers and the guy who wanted to marry her.

Duke of Midnight proooobably has her most possessive hero, Everyone's (My) Favorite Douchecanoe Maximus Batten. I don't know that there are many romance heroes who get quite as MINE as Maximus fucking Artemis while talking about how he's gonna keep her trapped in like a special hunting lodge and kill elk for her and feed her the tastiest morsels, and it's honestly a real "oh girl it's like that huh" moment because she's a vERY rational woman and she's like "yeah tell me more about it keep going" lmao. Some of my favorite deranged dirty talk of all time.

Jennifer Ashley's Mackenzie brothers are super possessive. Like, even the "oh ho we have a fun time" ones (Mac from Lady Isabella's Scandalous Marriage and Cameron from The Many Sins of Lord Cameron") are still very "ALRIGHT NOW. CALM TF DOWN" if someone looks at their wives for too long lol. Ian (The Madness of Lord Ian Mackenzie) literally needs Beth around to feel complete and Hart from The Duke's Perfect Wife, another "Everyone Else Thinks He's Too Much But Iiiiiiiiiii Like 'Im" hero is sooooo possessive of Eleanor. Wasn't even in his own book yet and he still made time to put money down her bodice to remind her that DADDY STILL HAS CASH.

Monica McCarty's Highland Guard series is basically entire made up of "mine mine mine" heroes lol. The Chief has a MAJOR alpha hero. The Recruit is big on it too, especially since she tries to keep her accidental pregnancy from him and he feels the baby bump by accident and goes all *INFANT. DETECTED.* and is like "NO BABY OF MINE IS GONNA BE A BASTARD!!!!"

Though it's a funny moment, I still think the hero of Tessa Dare's Any Duchess Will Do making the heroine recite his courtesy titles while he bends her over his desk is both hilarious and ridic dumb possessive hot.

The Earl I Ruined by Scarlett Peckham has a very consciously dominant, "whose pussy is this?" type hero, which we love to see.

Joanna Shupe has very possessive heroes--Preston from The Bride Goes Rogue comes to mind, especially when mY BOY the Duke of Lockwood is like, vaguely making friends with Katherine, because Lockwood is so hot that every other hero in the series is like "You wouldn't fuck him??? OH PLEASE DON'T LIE TO ME I WOULD FUCK HIM" and gets very jealous lmao. Fwiw, Lockwood is possessive of Nellie in The Duke Gets Even. He's always like "I'm keeping you" and biting her tits to leave bruises and shit. Which is what Joanna Shupe is allowed to get away with in a trad historical in 2023 lmao.

Obviously. Derek Craven from Dreaming of You. McKenna from Again the Magic.

If you're up for something dark and angsty, A Rose at Midnight by Anne Stuart has a very intense YOU'RE MINE NOW YOU WENCH thing, but uhhh check your triggers. I loved it!

[yanderes-galore]

Romantic Yandere!Jason Hudson with partner!darling (who’s rather professional and doesn’t want to get in trouble dating a employee at the CIA— especially her very own partner who’s only soft around her) who gotten captured and brainwashed by the Russians? Hudson and his squad finds her and tries to reverse the MK-Ultra (which doesn’t rlly work since she’s unfortunately too defiant and hostile for them to handle) but then he gets an idea and decided to let her believe that they were in a relationship. and even spices it up that he was even going to propose, before she got captured. Good god, I have multiple issues for requesting this. 😂 pls forgive me for the long and specified request.

Yay! More ice cold CIA man! I tried checking the wiki for his personality and couldn't find much so I did what I could! I misread the request so I thought you were already in a relationship. Which meant I had to go back and change it. I did a concept as it was not specified :(.

Yandere! Jason Hudson with Partner! Darling

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Protective behavior, Dubious relationship, Kidnapping, Brainwashing, Angst, Manipulation, Drugs.

Let's start by talking about the relationship between you two.

You know Hudson more than anyone.

You two haven't quite been dating but have been partners for awhile.

You're both CIA agents and often focus on your work

You've noticed Hudson's softness with you but turn him down if he tries to see you out of work.

You want to be professional.

Jason Hudson respects that about you, he likes that you stay as professional as him.

Which usually means softness is lowkey with him.

Hudson isn't a very affectionate man anyways, always showing a cold and stoic persona of your (stereo)typical CIA agent.

He's soft around you and you can tell he holds some sort of feelings for you but he can't express them.

The most he does is watch you while on duty and keep you close in case he has to cover you.

Hudson has been through many missions, probably more than you depending on how long you've been on the CIA..

He gives you words of encouragement and is always looking out for you.

Others can barely suspect him of holding feelings towards you.

He's been trying to keep it secret so you both don't get in trouble.

Then there was your capture.

In some sort of mission gone wrong you were captured.

Hudson began to fear the worst and had his squad try to find you.

You were an excellent member in your field so getting you back was a priority.

To Hudson, you're much more than that.

He wants his partner back.

By the time you're found by the CIA you're too far gone.

Internally, Hudson feels distraught.

The woman he's fallen in love with has been completely changed.

Due to being brainwashed in your capture, you now see the CIA as the enemy.

Dragging you back to base was problematic for everyone involved.

You fought tooth and nail against them, the sight made Hudson's heart shutter.

You didn't deserve any of this.

The next step was to try and reverse your treatment.

Hudson decided to take charge in the endeavor to try and help you.

The experimental way of fixing you was using MK-Ultra to bring you similar to how you were before.

Despite this you were still too combative and hostile to get anything out of you.

You barely even recognize your very own partner.

The one whose always had deep feelings for you.

Your vulnerable mind due to all the brainwashing and the concoction of chemicals makes you susceptible to information.

When Hudson realizes he can't get you to normal by these means, he may decide to make you something new.

Hudson is desperate to reignite that care you had shown him before as his partner.

He knows back then you didn't want to get in trouble.

He hopes you'll forgive him for what he's planning to do then.

While you're under the influence of many different drugs, Hudson implants memories.

He tells you that you and him had been dating in the past.

Even with your attempt to be combative you still begin to look at him with confused fondness.

He continues his fabricated story, even feeling a bit happy that he can finally admit these feelings.

Despite the circumstances making this confession rather twisted.

Hudson even says you and him were going to get married.

He was going to propose so you can stay at home and be his housewife.

He either tells you that you were part of the CIA or makes up another story.

Either way your mind begins to believe what he says due to how your brain is wired currently.

Your mind is like clay constantly being molded by different sources.

Hudson feels bad, but only the little bit.

His cold persona only cracks a bit when you stop fighting and hug him hesitantly.

It's wrong to manipulate you in such a way.

Hudson knows he's taking advantage of a horrible situation.

Yet as he watches you recover, he tells himself it's the right thing.

It was either this or he lost you forever.

Ever since overriding your brainwashing, you've been more affectionate towards Hudson.

He enjoys the change but takes you off the CIA.

You don't need to be in the field anymore, he'll take care of you like he's done before.

Except this time, he'll take care of you as a husband.

When you're recovered enough at his home, he'll propose.

You and him will be together as you should've been.

You won't have to worry about being professional anymore...

He's already molded you to be his perfect little wife when you recover.

[tayloralisonswift]

hello there, sorry this took me a while!

my boy only breaks - your reasoning makes perfect sense, thank you! i gasped the first time i listened to this song and the ken thing came up. i was like, oho, a callback to universally-beloved hits different!! plus there's the fun little connection between the sand castles and sandlot in my boy only breaks and the sand hurting her feelings in hits different (although i think the latter is probably more tongue-in-cheek).

my boy also gets a bonus gay point from me because the first time i listened to it i thought 'i'm quee-' was going to end in a different consonant and almost had a heart attack lol. just one of a few gay jump scares in this album!

thank you for googling and confirming the provenance of the imaginary rings! this is a song i skip every time, so um i think we can leave it there and leave the analysis to those who enjoy this song. good for them!

florida!!! hahaha i relate so much to what you said. for four minutes we saw a world where we were ttpd fans. one hell of a drug indeed.

the performance was just? so? gay?? it's been a month and a day and i still haven't fully processed it. like. girl, were you planning on gazing at florence for the duration of the song and dropping to your knees in front of 92,000 people or was that a spontaneous thing???

so yeah, it turns out i'm a florida!!! convert! i guess it's about two women murdering their cheating husbands and skipping off to live happily ever after in florida now?!

bdilh aggravates me because it's a song that i think i would enjoy if i didn't have any of the context, but unfortunately i do have the context because it's not even a little bit subtle! racist jokes can't be chalked up to chaos and revelry! it's grossly disrespectful to try to characterise them that way and then to criticise anyone who raised an eyebrow at her association with that guy! but anyway, moving on!!

imgonnagetyouback - i am not familiar with olivia rodrigo's work so i only realised that the two songs were similar when people posted about it here! not a good look. fun song though and it seems the consensus is generally that olivia's version was better lol.

peter and the closets like cedar! i just found your peter post. your mind, dude*! the seven/peter/dorothea links are so good. i can't recall your face (except of course i can because i see you on the tiny screen all the time). you're my lost fearless leader. i've still got love for you. you said you were gonna come find me. i'll never know if you're the same soul i met under the bleachers.

(* gender-neutral; please let me know if you'd prefer a different term!)

okay, for two people who don't like this album very much we managed to do some good gay analysis i think. yay for rubbing our queer little hands all over this! imagine what we could have done if we'd liked this more, lol.

oh, lover! we were so blessed. and reputation!! shall we discuss that one next? in my head the gayest albums are lover, reputation, evermore and folklore, but i need to work out the ranking. and shout-out to red because i've been in my swiftgron feelings lately because of that one sapphicscience fic lol.

take care, friend <3

@sapphicscience mention <3 yay!

and i love being called dude!

i agree with everything you’ve said but want to just take a moment and lose my mind because she literally got on her knees for that woman. me too honestly, but also i’m a lesbian. idk man maybe florida is a state of mind. maybe when she says she’s going down to florida she means goi— sORRY SORRY.

we’ve done our time (i think that’s a fresh out the slammer lyric) so yes, let’s go on to reputation!!!! here’s a question for ya: are there any songs on it you feel are about someone other than ms kloss? a contentious question in gaylorism but there is no judgment here !!!

mwah mwah!!!

[soleil-read]

Season 2 Bridgerton re-watch with the reluctant male

Wow! We've already started season 2, and get this. He ASKED me to watch an episode. Damn, Bridgerton is like a drug!

1) "terrible casting choice for the brothers. That guy looks 40." Unfortunately, he's talking about Benedict (i disagreed with him, i love Luke Thompson). He finds him to look much older than Anthony. But I think with the focus on Benedict's purpose, I think he'll warm to him.

2) "so they just explain the Duke's absence all season?" Yes, they do. It's weird but whatever.

3) "what's the blond girl's name again? She really plays the mean girl very good." No words needed to describe this one.

4) "I like her, she's probably the best one from the family." Said about Eloise, she IS an excellent character.

5) "the Queen seems obsessed with Lady Whatshername. It almost is too much." Interesting perspective. I haven't the heart to tell him that she's not even in the books but he'll never know anyway, he will never read them.

6) "oh, the Queen will name Kate as the diamond. Oh wait, nevermind."

7) "I'm not loving this character. She gets better, right?" Said about Kate 😢

8) "my fave characters right now. Portia, I like the Finch guy, he's funny. Oh and Eloise."

And that's the first episode down. He then mentioned, we can watch one every night till it's down so yay! He's been pulled in like the rest of us.

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

Some books I read lately:

I don't read as much as I used to, so enjoy this selection

Babel

Such a good book. Such an experience.

I've seen people voice an opinion that they couldn't relate to the protagonist, but I can't agree. My school is trying to kill me (figuratively) too.

Still, it was weird seeing myself the most as the story's antagonist. Made me think.

Likewise, it was weird reading book that had the quote of "the act of translation is an act of violence" in translation, but I think I did the right choice. The text is a bit dense and I wouldn't have enjoyed it nearly as much in english.

The book itself is dark academia, but not as in "vaguely gothic surrounding & really hot academic rival," but as in "your school made you who you are today and destroyed you in the process; it's using you for your language and your heritage and it won't stop taking and you should be grateful, everything is so much better now, isn't it?"

Every Exquisite Thing

A modern day take on Dorian Gray. I've been thinking about getting this book for quite some time, and I'm so glad I did.

It's about teenage girls in the age of social media, which makes it about a thousand percent more reletable than Dorian "I own ten editions of the same book in different colours so it matches my outfit and judge people for expressing basic human emotions, oh woe is me" Gray.

...yeah I wanna punch him <3

Anyway. The book has great Aesthetic and themes.

Acting school and "one must siffer for beauty" and fur coats and parent-child relationship and a thing that fits my extremely specific definition of hate sex. (Yeah, they're lesbians. It's Dorian Gray retelling)

Mexican Gothic

A great horror story from the first half of last century. (So, obviously, great Aesthetic)

The thing that gets the main heroine in trouble is familiar love and there's nothing she could have done differently.

She's also like, "My future partner must be of the highest standards", and then she sees the wet cat personified youngest son of the family her cousin married into (he's actually very sweet, tried to help her), and goes: "... actually nevermind, I want that one"

(...yeah, nothing bonds two people together as a bit of arson)

The Villain-thing is simultaneously a cult and fungi.

Fungi scares me normally, so this works.

The Thousand Floor series

Yeah it's not my first time reading this, but I adore this series.

It's set in future, which is mostly used for extra bling, and one boy has an illegal home-made Quantum computer in his brain. He uses this solely to flirt with girls better.

There's murder and excelent relationships drama.

Relationships drama as in "I accidentally killed one of my best friends in drug-induced mania cos I thought she was having an affair with my dad but she was actually my step-sister and now I'm blackmailing three people over this and fuck, one of them is kinda hot".

(once again, fits my extremely specific definition of hate sex)

There's also a con artist<3

Carmilla

Bought this at seven in the evening from a cheap books bookstore, but, c'mon. Lesbian vampires.

Mona's guide to defensive baking

This was such a cute read, it feels like a really inovative fairytale. Another book from the author, Nettle and Bone, feels the same.

It's about kids and there's magic and corrupt goverment and the animal sidekick is a sourdough starter <3

House of Hunger

More lesbian vampires, yay!

And probably my favourite read in very long time. I didn't plan to buy it, but I read a random excerp at the bookstore and the book gripped me in such a way I bought it. And read it in two days.

There's not a lot of explicit worldbuilding, but there IS worldbuilding: in the way the air tastes, in how the clothes feel against her skin. (I mean, she gets history lessons but she finds them insanely boring, so we really do not get the worldbuilding beyond bare bones on need to know basis for her)

And the relationships!! The shadow of family, the friendships, the obsession!!

...and as for the love interest/villain, imagine Ianthe Tridentaria and you're free to go. I love her. Both of them.

DNF/Hate reads <3

For when I need to persuade myself that chemistry cannot deal me THAT much psychic damage <3

Crave

By god. Please. It's Twilight but on Alaska and the author ain't mormon so MC is allowed to be horny on main.

We all know this.

So PLEASE, stop mysteriously repeating "Careful, something might bite you here"

The book refuses to tell the heroine there's supernatural shit for 150 pages even though we all know it. From the summary. And the marketing.

...also, there's were-dragons. I don't know what's going on either.

But yeah this was great for reading the most ridiculous passages to my roommate and laughing over it. Very bonding.

Crave 2

No I cannot be bothered to learn the title.

In the first two chapters, girlie has no idea wtf happened (x months long coma & amnesia), like four different people refuse to tell her, and she manages to remind us no less than five times that yes, Jaxon Vega is still hot.

Yes, that spelling is a crime too.

... I'd like to know what does the author have against Prague. That's kinda unrelated but still.

Fourth Wing

Yeah fine it's better written that Crave (the bar is in hell), but this book made me read "I cling to leaf-tipped limbs of the tree" in english version. (The word you're looking for is BRANCH.)

The translator used "branch", which, massive kudos to her, improved readability by like seventy percent by that alone.

Still, the characters talk like therapy (derogatory) and insist on telling worldbuilding in THE most ridiculous ways.

I'd give redeeming points for dragons but I didn't get to them before "leaf-tipped limbs of the tree", so, hard luck ✨

School for Good and Evil

...yeah that's mostly my fault for reading out of intended age group, but.

SIR, that's your STUDENT. STOP. Please.

That said, there's like. A lot of innuendos for a middle grade book.

Rhapsody

If I had a nickel for every YA book that has "an ancient bat-winged fae king" as the love interest, I'd probably be fucking rich.

Also, the MC is a siren and the book is "dark romance". She did NOT claw anyone to death nor drown anyone and I feel like I should be financially compensated for that.

[grimsneverendingfuneral]

Okay now I NEED your opinion (or headcanons in general) on Rosekiller 🎤

looorrdddd alright im grabbing the microphone and tapping it gently. a loud screech of feedback rips through and everyone stops talking

umm so first there are many variations of rosekiller, more than any other ship imo so im just gonna talk about mine??? my rosekiller are like complete opposites but then you look closer and they're still complete opposites but in the other direction like.....they're what the other thinks they are. as in evan thinks he's not like barty but he's more like barty than barty is and barty thinks he's not evan but he's more evan than evan is. they're obsessed with each other. like unhealthily so. its a sickness, almost. they keep it under wraps, but there's this pull between them, a string of energy that connects them with the blaze of a thousand suns. its electrical, leaves them feeling insane rolling around in bed unable to sleep. imma put a keep reading cause this shit got long

barty is an intellectual. he's an alcoholic. he LOVES poppers (the drug lol), keeps a Rush labeled bottle with him at all times, sniffs it whenever, wherever. like he'll be sitting in the subway and just bring it up to his nose. he likes sweet things. eats sour keys like there's no tomorrow. he's really into music like its his whole personality. everything he wears and does is consciously curated even if to other people he looks like a dirtbag. he makes people think he sleeps around but really its just a carefully constructed image so he can be left alone to be a rotting decrepit being. god complex but is unaware of it. he thinks he's soooo sexy but its a coping mechanism for the inescapable self-hatred he feels for himself. he's flirty but kinda awkward with it like its almost forced because he thinks of everything he wants to say before saying it so he never comes off as uncool or bothered. he doesn't really exist to himself. when he looks in the mirror for too long, he dissociates. he doesn't think of his body as a body its just a vessel he can shove things into and see what happens. he's a science experiment to himself, which is why when he meets evan he becomes irrevocably hooked, cause finally someone else sees him as that too!!!! yay!!!!

speaking of evan. my evan is tricky cause im still getting to know him. i know he has a giant fish tank with only one beta fish in it. he gives it the best life. he sees people in colors, he hates impurities, dirt, dust, anything like that. he doesnt like the texture of dirty (except barty hheeehhoooo). he keeps handcream on him at all times and various medicinal packets like aspirin, cough drops, acetaminophen tablets, etc. he's always got an earphone in, for sure. listens to gay shit like depeche mode and pet shop boys with a deadpan expression. his eyes are often expressionless but he feels everything so much it makes him gag. sensitive to the bone. can read anyones energy within two seconds. he's very decisive. like he'll look at someone for five seconds and be like yeah ok i like you. loves nobody but his sister and his fish. evan is also bent on domination. he likes to control situations and he's not afraid of doing so. not in any manipulative way no he'll just be like "you're gonna do this and this will be the result."

there's so much more i wanna say but fuck yall are just gonna see it in the fic anyways so

thank you for your question!!!!! kisses