#anyway uh yeah I dont care for the ship lol

[nebulousmedic]

I have a quick question for you. What is your opinion on Miss Pauling x Scout's mom?

It's cute, I can see why people would enjoy it. I'm not really into femmes (I'm more of a butch enjoyer) so I don't really care for it, wouldn't read a fic abt them nor would I make content about it unless I got paid.

[cherrylite17]

Perfect 10 liners ep 3 (spoilers)

I swear to god i thought i made this post like 3 days ago wtf.

first note, even though i have not posted anything re: the first two episodes, I will say that i currently like the show. I am fully treating this show as three shows packed up in one show. (I'm thinking skam where the seasons were following the same people but different main characters each season except this show does not have seasons)

I originally was not sure if i wanted to watch this show, aside from force and book I dont really know much about the other two ships and even still i havent really watched many force book shows fully so i was fully convinced i wouldnt like the show

Theres still a chance i wont like the show but right now the first two episodes have been funny. yeah I know, im a sucker for silly goofy sound effects and cuts and this show is doing it. its also (i think) the same director as we are and I LOVED we are so we'll see!

I think it is interesting that Arc likes Arm and is actually going for it, unlike most shows where theyll beat around the bush around this, I cant wait for Arc to "find out" that Arm was the one who posted that photo of him because i am fully convinced he already knows and is so ready to mess with Arm when he "finds out" (though i hope hes not too mean about this)

ANYWAY, ONTO THE THIRD EPISODE!

not me saying that i was interested in the arm arc storyline only for the show to IMMEDIATELY switch off of their story line sigh

nvm i spoke too soon, back to arrmarc! NOT PUN AND JET KNOWING LOL THATS SO CUTE

also not the new car being a product placement

i also find it lowkey INSANE that this man got you into an accident, said he would never hurt you again, and then all of a sudden youre so fine with it. Like not even a little bit of "you know what, give me like a week before i get into your car" i know this is probably for us to see and assume that Arm already likes Arc even though he won't admit it but like… girl this man is being lowkey (highkey) rude af and mean to you and i get that youre idk,,, pushing it off because hes your senior but like i do not CARE how senior someone is to me and how much i like someone, if they got me into an accident, im probably not going in their car for a while.

NOT THE AGGRSSIVE TYPING "dont forget to apply the medicine :p"

I also found this restaurant part so out of the blue? I know hes all like "well you said youre getting to know me now" but like bro you are in a sweaty ass jersey right now like go to either home or a street stall where there isnt an expectation on being dressed fancy.

fish on the balcony? 😭

poor po being stuck between two lovesick boys (bro is literally me)

if Arc thinks that this heart rate is "racing" bro would probably think i was dying if he heard my resting heart rate.

oh 😃 thats one way to end an episode. bro really said, yeah im gonna give my gear to you (because we will be dating) Im lowkey getting sotus vibes from their relationship at least right now. Like one mean guy who is the older senior and also has the explicit (kinda) role of taking care of the junior in terms of academics and school life and then a stubborn junior and also the giving of the gear (which ive heard is like a cultural think kinda so i cant really see that and be like OMG

ITS SOTUS!!!) but uh (cultural may not be the word im looking for but i feel like in canadian eng programs (dont wanna be to general and say all canadian university programs) we dont really have something like this, where you get something from the school and give it to the person you are dating as like a cute thing, maybe a canadian can correct me if im wrong tho) the confidence on this man i wish i had even half of that

FINAL THOUGHTS

once again another engineering show making me (an engineering student) feel lonely and sad about my own life 💀

i feel like i dont have any insight on this episode (not that i ever have) but maybe as the show goes on and i get used to making these posts again i will

that being said, I am sick and gosh darn tired of this fucking trope (?) where you can be mean to someone as a way of "flirting" with the other person. I mean even po and sand were all like "if I didnt know any better i'd think hes flirting with you" like maybe its just difference in cultures but if a friend came up to me and talked about someone in the way that Arm was talking about Arc in the first two episodes i would stongly encourage that friend to stay the fuck away from that person, like why are we making it okay again to bully people as a way of flirting with them (i guess you could argue that in this case its less bullying and more like teasing (which whatever) but my point still stands, i wish that shows would do this trope less or at the very least have some genuine consequences to this bad behaviour. and NO getting Arm hurt in the car accident is not a consequence to Arc for his bad behaviour, like sure he felt guilty about it but obviously Arm had no grudges held against him for that (i'm talking i want genuine serious like… idk how to put it. and this show may not be the best example ( again, maybe this is more teasing than it is bullying) but if someone treated me as bad as some main characters treat their love interest they would not be getting a chance from me (to which you might argue, "well if you like that person before then even if theyre mean to you they would get a chance" but thats often not the case in these shows, like main character 1 is mean for no fucking reason and main character 2 is like i hate you…. wait a minute I LOVE YOU!!! and there is no real consequence to main character 1s actions, they have no real reason to change)) but anyway thats neither here nor their as i am currently liking this show but given the time that the show is taking place (2 main couples are already established) i am wondering i… idk i forgot what i was gonna say

[highoncatfood]

SHIP BINGO TIME

Gonna ask for three cuz I can't pick... teehee

Kokogami, Makoyomi, and umm Dirkuu (my friend talks to me about dirkuu a lot it seems fun)

answering these finally hiiii i went to bed and then had work today so uh yeah

kokogami - now let me explain a few things here.. i checked both 'grew on me' and the big bad 'IDCCC' cuz truthfully i couldnt care less abt it esp in canon idgaf and the 1st few times i rewatched raincode they jst frustrated me sm as a pairing. like at first it was jst me being a shini hater but even after i started to like her more i jst canntttt get myself to like them in any romantic scenerio. but i do love how ppl in the fandom portray them a lot and all the fanart is very cute so i guess wht i mean when i say it grew on me is that ive come to like it more cuz of fanon :thumbsupemoji:

makoyomi - ok so like. when i first watched raincode and saw them interact for the 1st time i was like ok yeah. i see why this is one of the biggest ships in the fandom. and normally i would ship it right away but for some reason i consciously decided to do everything in my power to not let myself ship it. i dont rememeber whyyyy?? i did that?? i think i jst thought that would be rlly funny to like. me and no one else

but anyway with each rewatch i grew to like them more + fandom influenced me. but like i still wouldnt say i ship them.. i like their dynamic but i dont care for it as any kind of romantic/whtever ship neccessairly.. its mostly jst very funny to me. i rlly like yomi having a weird complicated hate crush on makoto and having no idea how to deal with it . like it doesnt even cross his mind to rlly consider it anything possibly romantic or sexual even tho it lowkey might be. who knows. hes jst mad abt it

and i like makoto acting oblivious as shit to it on purpose jst to mess with him even further, i like makoto teasing and bugging him and jst being so fucking annoying. they both r

this tweet is exactly how im tryna be abt them but like. on purpose. idk why its liek the funniest thing ever to me

dirkuu - havent thought abt them for a while but i mean. theyre hilarious i love caliborn and i love dirk . theyre jst stupid as fuck and i love all the fanart of them its like some of my fav pieces of hs fancontent probably.. yeah not much else to say abt it lol

[haven-gum-rockrose]

tell us about riz (ask game)

RIZ RIZ RIZ BET

first impression: oh this boy has so much frantic energy omg and cares so much about this penny girl he tries so hard, hes completely not sleeping to find his only friend...... Fuck I'm gonna end up kinning this guy, aren't I. And then it just kept going

impression now: ...... he cares. so. much. i care so much. its everything and he is everything to me- i actually dont know how to express it. he's like- holy. literally, he works for heaven now. but thats not important, he is.

Favorite moment....... fuck.... hmm... god i really like his interactions with Kalina. it could be "hiss at her, litigator!" followed by him hissing in court, but thats more a fig thing so.... while its not necessarily the moment, i like what it came to mean for his character. Him stuck in the palimpsest at the arcade, having lost to Penny's game, cutting his hands digging through the crystals, simply because that is so often referred back to

HONORABLE MENTIONS BECAUSE HES MY LITTLE GUY AND FUCK IT WE BALL: "i'm really gonna spiral here" after getting his own private office to do pi shit in, him suggesting "we can throw rocks in the river" as a hangout option because his only experience with what hangouts are like comes from violent productive adventuring and also noir mystery films/books/games, Riz inventinting the Night Yorb because he couldnt just relax. HIM TALKING TO HIS MOM ABOUT LIKE- IDFK WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF OR HOW TO INTERACT WITH MY FRIENDS IF THERES NOT A PROBLEM I CAN SOLVE- like shoot me with a fucking gun why dont you- uhhhhhh... "its just a metal tube. i think its beautiful *and then i do a little dance*" ..... theres a lot imma shut up

Story idea....... shit- him hanging out with the seven. please. idk, im very content with my- WAIT NO i wouldnt write about him, but any fanfic where he interacts with jawbone(like as the guidance counselor, not as the dad of most of his friends) - head in hands-

unpopular opinion: shipping fabriz is fine. like i dont like it and any ship stuff for them i read(which i do read) i am personally interpreting as platonic cuz im really good at that, or unrequited. i know a lot of people get pressed about it cuz aroace erasure which yeah if youre changing him to demi thats a bit- or if its one of those "Pok was right, he might just be a late bloomer, lol theyre aged up and actually riz finds out he's pan lololol" thats a bit - like please stop. but if hes dating the guy as an aroace person or theyre qpring. whats the big deal. i know riz doesnt want a relationship and all but - that the point of shipping? like i know for some people its uncomfy especially with how its the most popular d20 ship(at least based on ao3), but to me its like- shipping is literally pushing together characters and its always purely self indulgent??? like ship whoever you want as long as he stays aroace. anyways i didnt need to justify myself and show both arguements like that. none of you know this guy. except two people hi eni and aether

favorite relatioship: ..... LISTEN IGNORE EVERYTHING I JUST SAID. FABIAN AND RIZ THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS FABIAN SEACASTER AND THE FUCKING BALL LIKE THEYVE COME SO FAR IN THEIR DYNAMIC ITS CHANGED SO MUCH - theyre so opposites theyre everything theyre everything THEY SHOULDNT BE FRIENDS! AND THEYRE NOT!! THEYRE BEST FRIENDS!!!! AUGH!!!

favorite headcanon: autistic and anxious...... uh..... my brain is very gone... i think he still has like a bunch of different friendship bracelets from Penny that he keeps in like little collectors cases. ALSO I DONT THINK SHE EVER GAVE THEM TO HIM I THINK THEY WOULD JUST LIKE APPEAR ON HIS WRIST SHE WAS SLEIGHT OF HANDING THOSE SHITS ONETO HIS WRISTS BECAUSE HE COMPLAINED IT DIDNT MATCH HIS AESTHETIC AND THEN SHED LEAVE AND HE BE LIKE- im gonna frame this and put in on my wall.... but like as in in a false bottom in a drawer so its cooler

[aiwobonappetit]

the urge to be a menace towards your nerd shy partner but also give him the world if he asked for it 💥

[mblue-art]

You really hate Cross

l.listne op

he triggers my tsundere button. is the thing

[i started rambling/infodumping a quarter of the way under the cut. here's ur warning of me being cring]

I saw this. when I was researching for all kinds of refs/info for this guy when I started that one week of just drawing the fucker. when the simping started.

I want to remind the simps that THIS GIF EXISTED.

WHY does he LOOK like that.

i HATE him. (but in a way that a tsundere hates a love interest, you get me? ok good great—)

[ infodump warning? yes, here you go, here's the warning. i am going to embarrass myself down here- ]

OKAY, SO. I didn't think of him that much at the start, right, like ok he's the fandom's (cool bodyguard soldier type) edgy anime boy crybaby character in Bad Group (sometimes the himbo) whatever whatever

even in ships im like "eh ok hes alright i think" (lol i remember not caring about the cream ship bc "ah its too uwu positive happy also im not that into the dynamic" aaaaaand look where i am now. oh boy wow i simp for both of them, what a character development)

but then fandom keeps drawing him ~attractive~ and im like "hhhhh ok just like how ppl draw killer as the designated sexy guy in the villain group ok (bc nightmare has a different flavor of sexy. hes the leader/king type yk) cross is the um. the guard dog. big guy. cold soldier. ok (also himbo- PPL KEEP DRAWING HIM AS HIMBO??? has that always been a thing or am i misremembering)" ahem anyway yeah

anyway bad guys sexy its fandom culture to make the villains hot somehow and ppl did that to nm's gang ofc

im remembering my rambles about my thoughts on The Boy, and these were a Year ago.

this has been in my head for so long, oh m gog

i have always gotten this "boyish, anime charm" vibes from swap sans from reading fics- like not even blueberry swap sans, the other, more charming swap sans, the attractive & simpable one (does anyone remember skesgo? they made simpable swap content and i LOVED that shit. hope theyre doing well)

...LMAO PAST!ME??? " IM NOT A SIMP I SWEAR "

BUT i uh. i rlly very much like soff cross though. when the cold-shouldering is done and gone, he warms up and starts 2 care 4 u, hes p cute yanno,,, like yeah hes weeb cringe sometimes but,, he just wants friends to hang out with i think, other than fucking around/doing stupid shit with epic (his best buddy, i love dude and bruh, theyre my fav brotp) ,,it adds to his charm idk,,, i hc that he gives warm, secure hugs that you dont wanna pull away from,,

.

Does this mean he's going up the ranks in my Top 5 skellies??????

...

No comment.

[novieight]

"Blushing faces covered in pink! Rushing bombs, exploding ink!"

"Faces blush, a rush of ink! Bombs explode, no time to think!"

hi everyone!! im finally making a masterpost or intro post whatever you call it!!! so first im gonna tell about myself i guess lmao im so awkward ANYWAYS-

my name is Novan!!! im a genderfluid transmasc lesbian!!

im a MINOR!!!!!!!!!!

i go by he/they pronouns

i have a splatoon hyperfixation as well as sky: cotl, disney twisted wonderland, toilet bound hanako kun, and kid icarus!!!! talk to me about any of them!!!

im an age regressor and also part of the tk community ^///^

go follow my friend @4low3r!!!!!!! theyre super fuckin cool and their writing is really good!!!

now for some basic dni, triggers, etc.

dni if proship, prolife, anti-anti, etc. basic dni stuff

dni if homophobic, transphobic, racist, etc.

most find this strange but if you openly post about in depth religion PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU DNI!!!!! it triggers my derealization :(

i get triggered by mentions of manipulation, su!c!de, threatening one's life, etc. so please be careful with those topics around me!!

i have trypanophobia so needles and excessive blood (irl, art stuff is fine) really scares me

please dont reality check me as it really upsets me

saying this again please DNI IF YOU ARE A RELIGIOUS ACCOUNT!!!! DO NOT TRY TO "CONVERT" OR "MAKE ME REPENT" I WILL INSTANTLY BLOCK AND REPORT YOU!!!!

ummmmm what else do i put here OH I GUESS A BYF LIST IS GOOD I DONT KNOW IM TRYING TO TAKE UP SPACE HERE

i spam post like A LOT; im the type to reblog LOADS of art and fics and stuff, so if you dont like when users clutter your dash beware of me i guess lol

if you couldnt tell i get really awkward about some subjects so just i dont know just thought i should say that

i DO reblog tk content so if you dont want to see that then you probably shouldnt follow me

i also have these random thoughts and rants and stuff and yeah i can act really different at times sooooo uh yeah

i am an undiagnosed autistic; i still live with my abusers because im not old enough to live on my own BUT as soon as i can get safely tested for autism i will see about a real diagnosis

i do vent on here sometimes so if you dont want to see me talking about potentially triggering topics i would block the tag "novasvents" because i always tag my vent posts with that

i should also mention that i am part of the selfship community!! i self ship with frye and riddle rosehearts as well as a few others!!

now how about a list of the characters that i am!! (bolded = more frequent!!)

callie cuttlefish (splatoon)

hypno!callie (splatoon)

aloha (coroika)

frye (splatoon)

mei shijima (toilet bound hanako kun)

emma 63194 (the promised neverland)

lilia vanrouge (disney twisted wonderland, diasomnia)

basil (omori)

mitsuba sousuke (toilet bound hanako kun)

miko villager (bad end night by hitoshizuku x yama)

viridi (kid icarus: uprising)

ENA (Joel G)

anddddd thats about all i can think of!! stay fresh!!

[netflixnormalthings]

in my cliche fandom blog era anyway ship rating (filters for poorly rated ships so as not to bother you guys who do ship those im not fond of. oh except for billy ships i am keeping those uncensored given billy is a racist abuser) also lol no hate i am filtering for a reason (apart from the above mentioned)

milkvan: 2/10 romantic 7/10 platonic. all of their best moments are the ones that arent inherently romantic, like messing with hopper, or like. being the first people to not hate eachother. good duo, kinda toxic as a couple what with communication breakdowns and el not really being given a chance to understand her feelings... yeah i dont like it

lumax: 9/10 i love them so much they communicate have a fun dynamic support eachother i love them i love them. really care deeply about eachother and i love that

elmax: 9/10 so much understanding and girls having fun

elumax: 10/10 oh my god it is everything it is perfect showstopping amazing incredible- but seriously! look at them! understanding! support! theyre just adorable!

byler: 9/10. im chill about them though. endgame truther but i dont really go insane over them

st*ncy: why why excuse me why so bad for both of their characters oh my god uh uh 1/10 i guess very bad i could write an essay on why it is bad im just incoherent right now

j*ncy: uh alright ig??? peak was s1 and s2 but it sorta broke down after s3. they care they just cant and wont communicate and tend to lash out which leads to less care. pretty cute but ah well 6/10

ronance: 10/10 literally so insane about them like the dynamic, the way their characters work well in terms of narrative...

st*ddie: somewhere between 5 and 7 out of 10. idk i dont really interact with st*ddie content given that i ussualy filter it out for the sake of getting to the content i want to, but theyre all right. overhyped, but all right. cute maybe??? idk

jargyle: 10/10 they are weed smoking boyfriends they are funny they care about eachother so much they are supportive they-

stonathan: solid 6 or 7 out of 10, but im more willing to engage with this content than st*ddie lol. better dynamic imo, just ignoring that steve called him a slur one time but he got better about that. i would be willing to see them in the background so yeah ig i ship

jopper: 10/10 that being said i dont go out of my way to find stuff about them. they just kinda exist and i like them

r0ckie: 5/10 sorry. too similar. not really developed. i am biased

harringrove: so far in the negatives. so very far. please seek help if you stan billy

byclair: 7/10 cute ig wont scroll past on my dash just dont really care that much. fun dynamic. lucas would treat him right, i just dont know if they would work as a couple so i sorta ship

[probably-haven]

Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

-

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should. 

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can.  Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it. 

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself  and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game 

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows. 

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over- 

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings.  I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is. 

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other-  Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action. 

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways. 

 -Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though. 

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips. 

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself. 

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt.  - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing. 

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth.  - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced. 

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports 

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that. 

-

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead. 

[gunmetal-ring]

Do you have any other stranger things ships?

At the risk of starting Discourse... yes lol

Hellcheer obv - i like eddie and steves friendship dynamic but i find it very, very weird that theres such an insistence that theyre just as canon as hellcheer bc steve like... literally confessed to nancy that hes still desperately be-my-wife-and-mother-of-my-many-children in love with her but whatever. Like I'll concede that sure maybe actors and writers and showrunners all saying that hellcheer was romantic isnt technically canon, fine, but, uh. Idk. Hardcore pushing-for-canon to the point of harassing the joes abt steddie and shitting on grace/chrissy abt steddie is... extremely offputting to say the least, esp given the fact that it could not be more clear that they are not and have never been and will never be canon, even if eddie was still alive. I definitely think eddie is bi tho lol

Anyway

I like nancy with steve better than with jonathan - yeah steve was a typical high school popular boy asshole for a while, but jonathan 1) literally creepshotted her, 2) manic-pixie-dream-girl'd her, and now 3) is actively lying to her and avoiding her. I've never liked him and his only redeeming quality imo is the way he goes to fuckin bat for will at every chance he gets bc i love will

I like robin and nancys friendship, if i didnt love steve and want him to be happy as much as i do, id want robin and nancy to get together bc vickie is blah and robin and nancy have such a cute dynamic and complement each other so well, but if robin rly likes blah vickie then so be it, i want robin to have a gf that she likes

Jopper but thats a no brainer lol

As for the kids theyre kind of too young for me to really care enough to "ship". Max and lucas are cute together. I rly hope that they dont go the tragic-single-gay-kid route with will bc i love him so, so much and it seems like the writers are definitely angling to keep mike/eleven together, so i hope he finds someone and doesnt spend his life crying and pining for a straight boy who doesn't love him back. Idc abt dustin and susie. Actually i feel like the writers are setting up dustin and erica to get together (like 10 years from now, obv) but i like their friendship its so funny.

I love hopper/joyce/murray 3 musketeers dynamic

I like argyle and jonathans friendship but mostly bc it means i get to see argyle bc i love him lol hes so funny

Is that all the characters? Theres so many characters on this show i love most of them and dont want any of them to die off but i cant keep track of them all lol

Oh and btw i hate billy, glad hes dead, have never and will never ship him w anyone bc he was a racist abusive piece of shit who had one (1) redeeming moment of his entire fucking existence, its sad that he was abused but that doesnt excuse the fact that he was also abusive, sorry not sorry

[mxttellion]

kicks you in the shins we need hcs for all the boys

or else you're getting shipped with matt realsworld /j

WOW OKAY ANON OKAY I'M SORRY I don't have much written down for the others but it's more about a general idea let's say djshs anyway. read under this for the hcs if there's something i dont mention it's because it's like canon, and it feels redundant.

- Edd

-oldest of the bunch, being 27

-bi? gay? I don't know, he doesn't care. He's trans, and made sure to get the biggest dick in su- also, he's the tallest of the group, 190 cm tall. He is a literal bear in more ways than one. He's also autistic because fuck you

-Of course he's the leader and of course he draws do I have to repost the theme song??? He's the artist, and as an artist he has artist issues (tm) (aka art blocks and stuff. He usually tries to do other stuff like playing with Ringo or going for a walk when that happens.) He has a freelance job.

-He is A MESS- His room is a mess and so is his work place. Probably owns 10 distinct sketchbooks and all of them have broken pages and stuff all over the place.

-Treasures his screen tablet. It's something he managed to buy with his commissions money

-Regrets opening commissions. The first one he has ever gotten was from Tord and it was about drawing his big tiddy anime oc. And probably got a bunch of fetish ones as well

PURE BASTARD BREED (TM) "oh no, Tom is fighting someone......... Anyway"...Yes he's the leader, yes he doesn't care about his friends wellbeing anymore at this point. Okay he cares, but at some point, he goes "then die lol"

-After the literal first attempt at stopping his friends he joins them. Well if he only wasn't the one starting the dumb stuff 80% of the time. He's the one who suggests his friends to do stuff. Guys, he isn't the rational one: he fully supports bullshit and is so extra at times (throws a sofa at people) That being said, He's incredibly strong even due to the radiations. He can use his twink friends and baseball bats(edited) and gives the best hugs!!

He is GENERALLY a nice guy, he's the shoulder of support for his friends, but like, that's human decency. He's definitely an hothead at times. Really really impulsive. It's not that he's angry or anything, he doesn't get upset easily, it takes a LOT to get him pissed. He's just a bastard. Basically, impulsive and sometimes angy

-Likes to friendly tease his friends, but this is pretty much everyone in the group. The thing gets very awkward when they step a bit too far. Kind of a trickster, but like his teasing, he means well. Most of the times. He especially love teasing Matt as he's the one who's gonna start complaining a lot about it

-Has borrowed and does borrow some of his friends stuff without asking. See Tom's bass Susan and how he broke it lol

-Honestly out of the four he's the more optimistic. Also over enthusiastic, and ready to just do fun stuff despite being extremely lazy. His energy management is so weird

-He's the one physically stopping his friends most of the time. Especially Matt.

- Tom

- 25, youngest and the shortest of the group, being 175 cm tall.

- agender and bi. Doesn't really care about pronouns

-yknow what? Fuck you divergents your neuro, tom

-Is he an alien? A cryptid? Who knows, he most definitely isn't human at all lmao -He purrs. Uhhh yeah. He also has purple blood. His monster form has both fur and scales he's so weird

-Eyes? Well they're,,,, uh,,,,,,,,, honestly I like the idea of them just being black aight

-He isn't depressed, he's just as chaotic and over enthusiastic as the others. He's just a bit of an edgelord, that's it. He's a punk ass bitch (literally) -Oh he also has no nose. And well, his ears are detachable. He can still smell and hear like anybody else -He bites with those chompers

-Awful anger management issues. Don't get him angry, he'll stay bitter for the entire day. Extremely XD LOL Random: Most definitely had a scene phase and probably still has, doesn't want to admit it. He listens to a Lot of ska punk. and punk itself. He doesn't really fit one subculture just takes some from everything

-Enjoys alcohol (particularly smirnoff / vodka) but doesn't ALWAYS drink it. He had an hard time controlling his alcohol moments when he was younger. Despite loving alcohol, he has little to no resistance. He gets drunk VERY easily

-He somehow holds less grudges than anyone in the house. Probably because he literally fights people to the point he doesn't have to hold grudges

-His hair barely goes down and people genuinely wonder if he was just born like that (yes). Hair so spiky he literally attaches to walls- His eyes are either empty hollows or just black. Sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. just cryptid things. He ACTUALLY is the voice of reason. Kinda. Kinda. -Edd probably found him in his backyard one day and decided to keep him as his frien :) Tord

-third youngest but same age as Matt, 26. He's 180 cm tall, if not a little bit shorter, but taller than Tom anyway. Enough to punt him out of pure fun

-cishet /j

-Yknow the gist by now, none of them are neurotypical

-is kinda awkward,,,, he just stares at the void with a O_O face. He isn't very silent, he likes to talk, sometimes he talks way too much than he's supposed to. He has no filters and that's NOT a good thing. He probably spilled a few secrets he has with his friends unwillingly, and then paid the price. But at the same time he can be a smug ass bitch. a gremlin. a bastard. Even though he SEEMS like the chillest one of t- He probably hisses at people.

-The Redditor of the house. Bringer of bad takes. However he thinks he's actually right somehow. (he's not)

-Special interest? Mechanics and Technology, of course! He Won't shut up about robots and cyborgs. He loves them way too much. He has built some and he's trying to build some aswell. For now he has only managed to successfully build one, who he treasures almost like a pet. Ringo definitely tried to eat it once. And the garage is a goddamn mess because of him

-He probably owns a few gundams lying there and there, all built by himself and probably some he made himself. Still as much of an anime fan ofc

-Emo. Do I need to add anything else? His wardrobe is mostly red/black clothes. Don't ask him to change colors he WON'T.

-Despite being "stuck in 2007" he is aware of all the latest trends and memes. Watch him yelling amogus.

-He only shows his robot figurines but secretly has a lot of vocaloid and general anime ones. Catch him singing World is Mine at 3 am in the morning

-Gets along with Matt pretty well as they almost have the same music tastes. They're also prank buddies! ...especially on Tom -He's somehow the one who's extremely aware of his surroundings and "imbalanaces" for a lack of a better word. He feels when something around him is wrong or when there's a lot of tension in the house. Even though he doesn't really know how to act. Let's say that Tord CAN read you like a book when it comes to feelings. You can't hide it from him -He has considered leaving the house, but never did. He's way too attached. Even thought there are friends who are willing to give him an home (Pau and Pat lol) And that's all I have (FOR NOW) for the others shsdgsdjks

[mazojo]

Winter 2021 Anime Opinions

As always its that time of the year I pretend to be an anime connoisseur and leave my review on this seasons anime so take it with a grain of salt asdfgh from the one I enjoyed the least to the most.

Wave!!: Surfing Yappe!! (TV)

You are seeing currently the only probably best thing about Wave asdfghj Tanaka bby I am SO sorry you got stuck here,,,,, Its bad because I had so many expectations for Wave but it just...... isn’t very good? The characters feel 2 dimensional, animation is veeeery average and the plot is all over the place? Dont even get me started on the Shou situation plot device that they just brushed over and went on with and,,,,,big sigh

Urasekai Picnic

To be honest is not very fair to compare this one to the rest as ive only watched the first 2 eps but ill catch up eventually asdfghj its not bad just that the plot didnt capture me as much as I hoped but the two main characters cutiess the plot just confuses me asdfgh but I don't have much to say about it

Yakusoku no Neverland 2nd Season

So uh anyways Chile I don't wanna talk about it the only reason this is not dead last is because RayEmma cute moments but yeah don't watch this clown show go read the manga for self care ✨

Jaku-Chara Tomozaki-kun

The only reason this is here is because she. The main girl I cant remember the name of sucks and main dude is very normal asdfgh the plot is basically “Want people to like you? change everything about yourself and become a normie robot!!!” ASDFGHJ Like its so over the top and cringe at times it becomes very confusing but hey I am not caught up either so I may change opinions (x doubt tho)

2.43: Seiin Koukou Danshi Volley-bu

From this point onwards I basically like everything. 2.43 Started suuuuper strong for me, definitely thought it would be one of my favs this season but as the eps went by I just.... kinda lost interest asdfgh? Like its not bad, but its a sort of mix between Stars Align and Haikyuu where I would have loved a more character based story with dark subplots like Stars Align but got the parts I always criticize about Haikyuu were there was a point I didn't really knew any of the characters? ASDFGH like the enemy team is super cool and Love their designs but if you ask me to tell you anything about them I already forgot rip. Its still cute and the animation is cool but yeah it kind of disappointed me in the end a bit ;w;

Shingeki no Kyojin: The Final Season

AOT Is so sexci because it keeps on hurting me and I come back every-time for it ASDFGHJ Not much to say that hasn't been said, characters are super interesting, plot is a bit confusing at times for me to follow but amazing and I just :))) could go on about certain characters :))))) but I wont :))))

Wonder Egg Priority

Wonder egg priority is very talked about right now so I wont get too much into it other than definitely give it a watch if you like the more philosophical and “makes you reflect on your life choices” sort of anime ASDFGHJ the visuals are stunning and the characters very well build, although I am very confused at times I am still enjoying it tons ^^ Trigger warning however for some heavy topics I recommend checking the warnings before watching it <3

Kemono Jihen

I LOVE THEM OKaY? asdfghjk Kemono Jihen gives me the found family topes and I eat them all right up, I love the characters , their designs, the plot, everything. To be fair tho, I did enjoy the manga more than the anime but maybe its a pacing thing? idk but I definitely recommend 100% taking on the manga and maybe after watch the anime but I am enjoying it tons!!

Kai Byoui Ramune

This one may come as a surprise lol?? Like I haven't seen a single soul talk about Ramune but like??? I am actually enjoying it a lot?? and look forward every week for the ep? asdfghj Like yes I will be the first to admit the animation isn't really the beeeeest out there but the plot is funny while also being serious, the characters are quirky and interesting to keep the flow going and I am liking the undertone heavy messages? the soundtrack also slaps imo and yeah I would definitely say to watch the first ep and if you like that sort of dynamic take it up on the rest!

I★Chu: Halfway Through the Idol

Okay I will be the first one to admit this is just me being trash for the idol shows but like?? its my list so I get to decide which found family I am screaming about next ASDFGHJ. As an avid A3 stan this gave me serious vibes of my boys (plus they were made form the same company so like not very surprised there loll) and like I think the characters are cute with adorable relationships and cute songs and its just a lighthearted show I sit down every Wednesday and smile through the 25 minutes so yes I Chu deserves a high spot and yes I recommend it even if it has like a 6.3 on myanimelist sksksks

Dr. Stone: Stone Wars

Look at Gen!!!! enough reasons to watch dr stone!!!! ASDFGH but in all seriousness I....... love them okAy? The plot is amazing and the characters are super entertaining (hiiii Ukyo Gen Senku and Chrome muak) and although it may seem a bit slower paced than first season the arc is gonna get better and better and the finale is gonna be great if they stick to the manga. Only sad that I dont get to see my pirate fuckboy but we better be getting a third season

Bungou Stray Dogs Wan!

when I say this is the happiness of all my Tuesdays I ain’t even exaggerating ASDFGHJ Does this have an important plot? no. Is it transcending to animation? not really. Is it BSD content I've been starving for? absolutely!!! Tbh I see my favorite anime characters in chibi version and I go feral, go watch BSD pogg!!

Horimiya

Me?? searching for that one gif of the side ship scene am obsessed over?? more likely than you think ASDFGH Horimiya holds a special place in my heart because it was the first manga I ever read and the nostalgia is stroNG,,,,,, The plot isn't anything really transcending but the way the characters are captured the feelings just,,,,,, stan!! Also Yuki x Tooru supremacy !

Skate-Leading☆Stars

Okaaaaay this is also me being a bitch for sports anime but like, again, are we surprised?? ASDFGHJ It may be my love for Hayato speaking but ive absolutely loves Skate Leading Stars, I love the group, the main characters, the ships, the routines and its so pretty and they are in love and like the competition and asdfgh its gOoD OKaY??? Watch it if anything for Hayato 👉🏻 👈🏻 My bastard bitch I love the gremlin.

Beastars 2nd Season

I think we are all sleeping on Beastars brushing it off as a furry show. I don’t speak enough about it and I am not one to go about poetic cinemaness on main but beastars is a very poetic cinema show and yall sleeping on it. Coming from someone who was uncomfortable at first with the whole animal relationships part at first, just know beastars is so much more than that, it has a complicated plot with critics about the society within the show with amazing characters, great soundtrack and animation plus banger plot. Pina, Jack, Juno and Legoshi best characters and every week I look forward for the next eps so I hope yall go give it some love.

SK8 The Infinity

If it wasnt clear from my spam every Saturday that I am absolutely in love with this show I dont know what to tell you ASDFGHJ. Sk8 has an amazing range of characters I find fascinating, specially Reki, very much so everything Reki asdfgh but yeah!! Its super entertaining with an interesting plot and its definetely becoming one of my favorite animes because the amount of times ive rewatched the episodes to cope is kind of embarrassing lmaooo, definetely give it a try although I understand its not for everyone but like,,,,, do it for Reki? 🤧👉🏻👈🏻

[whatthefuckisasweep]

Grif

For the character ask! Sorry this took me a while, I can't copy and paste on mobile, so I waited till I got on desktop tumblr! Thank you so much for asking about him, I could go on forever lol so this is gonna be fucking LONG. Please, anyone, feel free to ask about any other character, too. These are fun.

Why I like them: Grif is, for lack of a better word, complex. On one hand, it's like, okay he's just a funny comedy character. But on the other hand, he's like every all of my favorite archetypes of a character. He's crafty but stupid, selfish but selfless, antisocial but friendly, the straight man but the dramatic guy, he's snarky but oddly caring: the reluctant hero. It's kind of paradoxical, and I feel like not only do I relate to him, but I just really enjoy him overall. Whether it's because he's a good brother, being a complete dickbag because he doesn't know how to handle emotions, being a complete cynic on the battlefield, or being hyperactive and snappy, it's just... ah. He. Everything in his life just happens, and he has to deal with it, and yeah he'll kick and pout and probably eat everything but in the end, he's gonna choose his family and he cares deeply... even when he can't really show it.

Why I don’t: I see this a lot in myself too - the fact that he's impulsive and inherently negative when he speaks specifically. his words don't match his actions. He often doesn't hesitate when it comes to making negative comments because they are easier than saying something nice, but what his intentions are are completely different. in other words, he's a jerk, lol. Especially in season 15. I know people felt bad for him because he was partially right and went insane on Iris, but he lowkey deserved it. He said he hated his friends, and even his closest friend. He didn't want to admit that he was a good person just because he didn't want to help. yeah, it was valid, but he needs to learn how to make a case without fucking everyone emotionally and being so clammed up. >:/ sometimes it feels like he regresses in character, as much as he's matured. i guess that's realistic and just the writers making comedy, but also the way he handles Doc specifically irks me. so mean spirited for no reason, as funny as it is.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): OH MY GOD, okay, literally, every single episode with Grif starring as a main is fucking gold. I think for this I'm going to say, uh, This One Goes to Eleven. Even though it's not Grif-centric, it's the episode that's my favorite overall because it introduced me to RvB and made me like Grif right away, simply because he was attacked so much and I felt so bad for him. Another great one that sticks out right now in my sleep deprived state, is Grif does a Rescue. Augh. And the episode where Grif and Simmons get stuck underground in the caves.

Favorite season/movie: Season 8 (shotgun!!!, hyperactive ai grif), Season 11 (hanging in the canyon with simmons), Season 4 (the tank and blue simmons w/ grif), Season 5/6 (kai and rat's nest), Season 12/13 (the recruits, grif building the snowmen), Season 14 (backstory with simmons, Room Zero), Season 15 (you know why)

Favorite line: OK, don't make me choose. There are SO many that are good!!! I think one of my most favorite things that Grif says is "yoink!" It's so adorable! I also really enjoy "BLUEEE TEAAAAM SUCKKKKKS" with his epsilon double, the whole "invisible nap" scene, "what are we, on a date?"/"I can tell you what we weren't doing", "no one made me, I made me", "WERE GONNA FUCKING DIE" when charging at the meta, "that's a figure of speech?" [when carolina says im so hungry i could eat a horse is a figure of speech], "dexta grif he who shall not be messed with!"... I'm sure I'm missing a lot, he has SO many snarky funny lines, but these are some off the top of my head.

Favorite outfit: LOL THIS IS SUCH A FUNNY QUESTION BECAUSE THIS IS RVB. HAHAHA. Uh. Season 6 probably. I just like Halo 3 Graphics. Also s14 Room Zero because THEY DREW HIM FAT CANONICALLY. THANK YOU.

OTP: I'm with the majority of people in the fandom who like Grimmons! I think Grimmons is the only ship that I really vocally ship with my whole heart besides OC ships. I just very much enjoy their dynamic -- it's very angsty, dialogue full, intimate yet so unspoken. It's just a really good pair to write about and see the development of through canon. And, not to mention... season 15... hrk...

Brotp: I really REALLY want grif/tucker, grif/church, grif/locus BROTP. SO SO SO BAD. I've always seen grif and tucker as bros, grif and church are HILARIOUS together and we were ROBBED of more time together, and grif and locus are fucking adorable.

Head Canon: I have a lot of headcanons about Grif, but one of my favorite ones is that he has half-lidded eyes, like he's always sleepy. I also headcanon him as bisexual, though I think that is a popular headcanon!

Unpopular opinion: I dunno if I have super unpopular opinions about Grif... maybe that I think that his labryinth wasn't as bad as it seems at first? A lot of people seemed to think that though, yknow. Like if you look deeply into it, it's actually kinda fucked. But I feel like we should have gotten the Hawaii scene anyways. Hm. I also didn't like how they altered the canon so that Grif wasn't drafted. I think it does add something to his char that he chose to go, but I always really liked the aspect that Grif didn't control that, and yet he still did this on purpose. He was good on purpose.

A wish: A badass Grif carchase scene for the love of FUCK. We need to have him drive more stuff !!!!!!!!

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Have him betray the reds -- i think every other red has betrayed the team at some point. please god for the love of god dont do this to grif. it really adds and says something about his character that he doesn't ever betray his team.

5 words to best describe them: (eye roll) eh. fuck it.

My nickname for them: this isn't really my nickname, since I mostly just call him grif -- but 'gif'. It's cute, and my QPP came up with it! I also really like dex. augh

[get-shiggy-with-it]

Heyo this is for your 400 milestone special thing, I hope there are slots left👀

Anyways I guess I should tell you a bit about myself now: I'm VERY sarcastic (if you cant tell), I'm more introverted but act hella extroverted around my friends or if I'm doing something I'm really comfortable with and something I am passionate about. I like to make a joke out of everything and laugh when I'm uncomfortable👍🏻 I'm pretty friendly and would do anything for anyone I cared about, but as soon as your cross me and the people I care about boundaries, prepare for hell. I dont take shit and I won't allow the people I care about to get shit on either. I will cut a bitch and cut a bitch off if necessary. I'm HELLA competitive, and enjoy sports and working out for that reason haha. I love music and can sing pretty well (I've won comps and stuff for it and have gotten some scholarships to college for it). I'm currently going to school to be an athletic trainer cause I really like competition and sports obviously and wanna be able to help people achieve their dreams in a healthy way. I wanna ultimately be an athletic trainer for the boys volleyball Olympic team (team usa). I'm also a huge empath🧍‍♀️

Physical description, oh la la~ I'm about 5'5" so pretty short :l I have shoulder length hair that is split down the middle (half blonde, half light brown) with curtain bangs. I'm a little on the chubby side but about average weight with curves. I have big titties lol (they're like my only asset cause I got no ass lmao) I have pretty decent muscles and physically strong. I have blue eyes and fair skin with lots of freckles.

I hope that was enough of a description and stuff but uh yeah, have a good night/day/afternoon lol-

Hey there! Thanks for playing! Have a ship <3

From the description above, I have to give you Denki!

I feel like he's one of those people that annoys the hell out of you at first glance, but once you warm up to him, it's very easy to be open with each other. He also strikes me as like himbo adjacent and while a bit of a dumbass, actually sort of in tune with his emotions and able to form really tight relationships with others. Having a few years as a pro under his belt, he‘s had the time to mature a bit in that way. He's also down to clown, so the constant joking and nervous laughter are fine by him.

Denki's gonna be someone you'd need strong boundaries for. When I say he's not afraid to be open, he's really not afraid to be open in his relationships. He will almost certainly not realize how much his constant venting or need to spend time together might be a bit exhausting, so if you're able to enforce your own needs then all the better.

You know that boy would bug you constantly to sing for him. Sit outside the bathroom door with his ear up against the crack to listen if you refuse and is completely willing to get his ass beat with a shampoo bottle for his troubles. He's never gonna be able to match you in physicality, cause he's a bit of a twink and proud but he'd get some real sick enjoyment out of watching you compete with all his friends. Very much the 'my gf can beat your ass' type.

His chaotic bisexual self is also never gonna say no to a nice pair of titties either so you've got him there.

Abandoned Options: Bakugou, Mina, Hizashi (it's the loud blondes for me)

[fictionkinfessional]

hihi kinning 2d is so weird because uh. outside of kinning i am extemelg gay for murdoc. like i am straifht up in lobe with him. but the ship 2doc is so fucking triggering for me. and my feelings for him in my 2d timeline are so weird and messed up and all i can think about is how horrible plastic beach was. how none of it felt real. i didnt want it to be real. i cant imagine what it was liek for him. nad yeah hes. god he was horrible to me absolutely. horrendous. but i still missed him when he was in prison. i always missrd him. i hate it a part of me hates him too but i dont know. i just want him to be happy. but also? its so. hard. to forgive it was so hard to deal with and i KNOW he was hurting. i fucking know he was hurting but thats no excuse yknow? n i know he knows that now but still. idk what im saying but like. when im bot in a 2d shift i am. god. god i fucking love murdoc with all my heart. but even though 2d is one of my highest kins right now 2doc just. fucking hurts so much. i had a panic attack over it a while ago and it was horrible. its just so bad. straight up abusive yo ! not good shit! not good at all. anyway murdoc if youre reading this???????????????? uh sorry? but not really. im sorry for being mean but i meant what i said. i hope youre doing well though? take care of yourself idk. i dont know i kind of miss you a lot but i dont know. its hard to udnerstand anf i dont. like it. i dont like it at all. but liek whatever LOL youre really good at playing bass idk why you stopped anyway. bye. i cang believe PAULA FUCKING CHEATED ON ME WITH YOU LOL ok im done now. bye for realsies this time

[bbrandy2002]

The Getaway

Part Two

A/N: This is obviously a continuation of a birthday fic I wrote for @ao719 that is now 2 weeks late 🙈 I was dealing with stuff, dont judge lol The writers block and doubts were for real yo! But thanks to my Tumblr bestie, who wouldnt let me quit, encouraged me, talked me through this thing and gave me ideas, it finally all came together.

Anitah, I apologize for being so late and the silliness of this fic and if it's terrible. I still hope you had a wonderful birthday and are blessed with so many more 💜

A/N/N: Thanks to @burnsoslow for beta reading and literally a thousand other things.

Warning: A lot of bad language, a miserable Drake Walker and violence involving tasers, fires, animals and car accidents ... No one dies people!

**Drake and Liam belong to Pixelberry, Nikolas belongs to me, the driver and mailroom guy belong to @burnsoslow​ and Liam's secretary belongs to @ao719​

Drake stepped out of the truck in a furor, cursing under his breath, to check on his damages. The front driver tire had fallen into a deep ditch, and it was evident by the thick mud it sunk into that it would be next to impossible to get unstuck without some assistance.

He shook his head, gritted his teeth, and the veins in his neck enlarged and throbbed. As he knelt down to assess the damages further, Nik hopped out of the truck and stood over Drake. With one glance, Nikolas clutched his belly and let out a loud continuous cackle that soon sent a storm of hot blood that seemed to collect in Drake's crimson-colored face.

And the laughter just got louder and louder.

And the laughter didn't stop.

In Drake's head, it sounded like a thousand Niks laughing simultaneously, each one with two horns, a pointy tail, and a pitchfork in hand. 

His anxiety took over.

He stood up, and in an attempt to let some of his anger out, he kicked the tire with an enraged shout that echoed beyond the heavily-forested valley and sent flocks of birds in a frenzy.

The tire's air must have been over-pressurized by the drop's force and popped as soon as Drake's foot made contact. He fell back onto his ass with a heavy thud causing Nikolas to screech out in more laughter. Drake sat up into time to see the front bumper and side panel fall to the ground.

"I think your truck is broken, Uncle Drake," the prince chortled.

Drake's head whipped around and glared at the boy. "No shit! What the fuck are you even doing here? You're supposed to be on a plane to Paris."

Nikolas shrugged. "This sounded more fun." 

"This isn't fun, you little asshole!" Drake jumped up and attempted to lunge at the boy, but slipped in the mud, caught his balance for a split second by grabbing onto a tree limb, then slipped again, before wiping out completely. "Son-of-a-monkey-fucker!"

Drake laid on his back, staring up at a large tree branch that hung overhead, praying to God the damn thing would just fall on him. 

Nikolas walked over to him and looked down on the face of fury. "Is it time for dinner yet? I'm staaaaaaaving!"

"Nikolas," Drake groaned then took a deep breath, his back mud-soaked and achy. "How? How in the hell did you pull this off?"

Nik plopped down on Drake's stomach, causing him to grunt loudly. "Easy. I told my dad you invited me, and he let me go. He was happy you wanted to spend time with me." The Prince smirked.

Drake gritted his teeth. "And he just believed you? Fucking Liam."

Nikolas shook his head. "No. I got Neal in the mailroom to pretend he was you on the phone."

Drake lifted his head and glared. "You mean that grease trap that lives in the ambulance down by the river?"

The young prince nodded. "Yeah. Except he doesn't live by the river anymore. He moved behind the elementary school .. said it had a better view."

There was dead silence for a moment as Drake grimaced at what he just heard before jerking his hips upward. "Get the fuck off me."

Nikolas stumbled to the ground with an uproarious laugh.

Drake reached into his front pocket and pulled out his cell as he rose to his feet. He was dead set on getting someone from the palace to retrieve this little menace to Drake Walker society before he found himself tied up to a cinder block at the bottom of Lake Boogaloo. The issue with his truck could wait.

Liam and Riley would already be on the plane with Bastien in tow, so calling them right now would be useless. He pressed the contact for the palace operator, hoping to be directed to the mailroom; if Neal was part of helping get Nik into this, his shady punk ass could come pick him up in the renovated ambulance that served as his home and part-time blood mobile. 

Pacing back and forth, Drake raised the phone to his ear, waiting impatiently for a ring. 

"Trish! Put me through to the mailroom." 

While he was distracted taking care of that, Nikolas was somewhat disappointed the trip was already over -- he had so many plans for his favorite uncle. With his arms crossed over his chest and a pout on his lips, he leaned up against the truck in a huff. "This sucks!"

The sounds of leaves crunching and brush moving around nearby caught his attention. Nik's eyes widened in fear when the black furry coat of a creature with a white stripe down its middle could be seen scampering around searching for food. The boy gasped and pinched his nose as the animal's foul scent started to become thick in the air and made his eyes water. "Uncle Drake," he called out in a nasally voice, "there's a skunk."

With a scowl, Drake lowered the phone and scrunched up his own nose. He took one glance at the animal, who didn't appear to be a threat, then glanced back at the kid. "It's probably more scared of your evil ass than you are of it. Just keep your mouth shut and don't move." The call with Neal resumed.

"But, Drake ..." Nikolas whined, trying to plead for him to listen but could tell his uncle would have none of it.

Frantic to scare the smelly animal away, the young boy searched the ground for something to throw at it: a large stick, a rock, Drake's Air Bud soundtrack. Those things might scare the skunk off, but they posed a risk of it spraying before doing so. Memories of the smell of Madeleine's office when he had one shipped to her came flooding back. It took a month for the palace to lose that scent. The prank was hilarious until it affected his comfort.

 A devilish smirk took shape as an idea popped into his head. “I need my backpack.”

Nik grabbed the top of the truck bed and stepped up on the rear tire and swung one leg over, then the other. He found his backpack and quickly unzipped it, pulling out night-vision goggles and a rope, then placed them beside his feet. He proceeded to move aside a bottle of industrial-strength super glue and the glass jar holding his tarantula, Barf. Finally, at the bottom of the bag, was the taser he “borrowed” from Bastien’s desk, and he quickly took it out. Holding the electrical gun in front of his face and twisting it around menacingly, he said, “Okay, Mr. Skunk. Get ready for a shocking experience.”

“No!” Drake yelled into the phone at Neal, “You can’t borrow my binoculars. What the fuck are you gonna use those things for at a children’s museum anyway?”

“The … the …” the man scrambled for an answer, “those dinosaurs … yeah … the dinosaurs. They’re, like, really tall, ya know? I want to be able … to, uh … see their faces and stuff.”

“I call bullshit,” Drake bit back, “I won’t be an accomplice in your bone watching … dinosaur or small boy.” He resumed his pacing, wanting to get the conversation moving along. “Now listen, my sister and brother-in-law are in Texas, Lord Beaumont is on a book tour, and the guards are off duty until the royal family returns. You are going to come pick up this kid.”

“Oh! I would love to come pick him up. He’s under 10, correct?”

Drake could practically hear the creepy mirth oozing from the man's gruff voice and spat back, "I'll be with him the whole time, you oily ass, ambulance-driving …  è piccola cagna!"

"What does that mean?"

Drake knitted his brows; he didn't really know, just that Nikolas called him that from time to time, and the word just kind of stuck with him. "Just ... just get here now!"

"Okay, okay! I'm coming."

The call ended. "God, I hope he meant that literally, and I didn't just get that fucko off." He slipped the phone into his pocket and turned to Nik. "Alright, listen up, assh ..." Drake stopped dead in his tracks and stood, stunned, at the first glimpse of a taser-wielding Nikolas with the gun aimed almost directly at him, with a tiny finger wrapped around the trigger.

"Wwwhatcha got there, boy?" Drake's voice sounded calm and friendly. He even managed to fake a genuine-looking smile. Inside, however, he was close to shitting his pants.

Nikolas licked his lips and closed one eye to find the perfect aim. "I'm about to fry that skunk with extreme vengeance. One ..."

"Nikolas, no! Give me the taser." Drake cautiously approached him with his hand held out.

"Two," the small but menacing voice continued the count.

"Nik, don't do it! Give it to me now!"

"Three.”

"Noooo!"

The piercing sound of Drake's shout startled the skunk, and it scurried out from the thick brush.

Nik jumped up with the taser. "Hey! Get back here, asshole." He aimed at the fleeing creature and pressed the trigger.

___________

The instant Drake's mocha-colored eyes fluttered open, an acrid mixture of what smelled like ass, sweat, rotten eggs, and his mother's hairy feet had bubbled up inside his nostrils. The aroma was slightly overshadowed by the 1200-volt prongs that had pierced just below the protruding vein in his neck, causing him to seize up and then drop like a rag doll to the dirt, and muck that littered the ground.

Close by, he could make out the discernible sound of footsteps crunching through foliage and bark and sloshing over wet earth.

Drake's cheek rested against the cold, soggy ground, even as the silhouette of the young prince crouched next to him with his little head tilted sideways and blinking owlishly. He saw the child's lips moving but blocked out the little shit until the feeling of electrocution and muscle spasms had waned.

Drake looked at the small face next to him that resembled his best friend at that age. Liam is a good man, Drake thought; he was a considerate child, too. We had fun together. We always had each other's backs and would do anything to protect the other, no matter the consequences.  Liam wouldn’t hurt a fly. He’s just the best all around.  So …  how in the actual ass fuck did he produce the spawn of Satan? 

Is there any chance he’s ... Neal’s kid? 

Maybe Riley ... No, fuck, no. She wouldn’t.

The sky transformed from a brilliant blue to one streaked with gold and orange hues before Drake shook himself of the aftershocks that sparked through his body. 

The metal prongs left behind two bright red spots, resembling a large spider bite and stinging like hell when he pulled them out.  A thick layer of mud had dried and clung to his back, while a fresh layer adhered to his front. The numbness in his limbs had dissipated somewhat, but the pins-and-needles feeling remained. He was grateful the back spray from the skunk missed him, but the remnants it left on the nearby trees were stifling.

At this point, the only thing Drake wanted was a hot shower, a clean change of clothes, and to get stupidly drunk to the point he would pass out in bed and sleep for days. He scanned the perimeter and could make out the crystal-blue lake through a small clearing in the trees about 100 yards away.

Removing his filthy shirt and tossing it in the back of the truck, he eyed Nikolas, who was surprisingly quiet and subdued. The child was sitting on the lowered tailgate, swinging his legs, and trying to force his tarantula to eat a dead cricket. Drake rolled his eyes but was relieved the kid was staying out of his hair for now. He just needed to take a quick dip in the water, change his clothes, and hurry back in time for their ride home. Nik would be fine by himself for 10 minutes.

Drake let out a sharp tongue whistle that caught Nikolas' attention. "Listen up, kid. I'm going down to the lake real quick to clean up and change into some clean clothes." He opened the driver's side door and reached across the seat to toss his cell phone and wallet in the glove box while he continued, "You and your spider get in here and lock the door until I come back."

Nik dropped Barf in the jar and slapped the holed lid on it. "It's not a spider, Drake. It's a tarantula. A tarantula," he corrected with emphasis as he slid down from the tailgate.

"I don't care if it's your grandma's bladder control protection, get your ass in the truck, and don't move until I get back."

Stepping up in front of Drake, Nikolas sneered at an annoyed Drake towering above him. "I'm telling her you said that. And why can't I go with you? I wanna go to the lake, too," he whined.

Drake nearly doubled over in fake laughter. "There ain't no damn way I'm taking you. For one, you've ruined my entire trip. The one good thing I had in my life to look forward to, and you ruined it! And two, I don't know what the rules are about grownups, and nakedness, and with kids around, and all that shit. So the answer is no." 

Drake could tell by the beady little eyes glaring back at him that Nikolas would not give up on this. He let out a heavy sigh. "Look. Do what I tell you right now, and when I come back, I'll build a campfire, and we can make up some s’mores. How's that sound?"

“Okay.”

“Really?” Drake shook his head in astonishment that he actually won that argument. Without another word, he watched as His Royal Highness happily climbed into the cab of the truck and gave a thumbs up.

Did that taser kill me? I’m dead, right? He did it. Do you smell that, Cordonia? No, not that fucking rank ass skunk. It’s the smell of victory! Drake Walker is a god! I have the power back.

Grabbing his duffle bag from the back, Drake hurriedly made his way toward the lake. He felt a little on edge, leaving Nik by himself for even just ten minutes, maybe even somewhat guilty. But he was caked in mud from head to toe, and the grime was starting to seep and burrow around certain parts of his anatomy. Nothing was worse than having monkey ass.

Within minutes, Nikolas sat on his haunches and looked out the back glass. He hadn’t wanted to show it, but he did feel a little bad for shooting Drake to the point it drew blood. Also for causing him to crash his truck. And even though it was funny as hell to watch, the second slip in the mud was kind of brutal. Perhaps a little remorse was starting to set in as the words of his Uncle Drake telling him that he ruined the one thing he was looking forward to repeated in his head. Tomorrow he would return to normal, but Nik was determined to do something nice for a change for the rest of the evening.

With the quick snap of his little fingers, an idea formed, and it would be the perfect thing to make Drake feel better. Nik unlocked the door, grabbed his spider, and jumped out of the truck. He headed to the back and rummaged through the bags of camping items laid in piles until he found what he was looking for: a lighter and lighter fluid.

“I’ll make the bestest s'mores ever for Uncle Drake. That’ll make him happy.”

Nikolas had never built a campfire before, but he’d seen it done in a movie once, and that was good enough in his mind to practically make him an expert.

Feeling clean and refreshed, Drake dried off from his dip in the lake and put fresh clothes on. Making his way back to the site, he caught a glimpse of thick, black smoke protruding above the trees and the smell of burning rubber that traveled with the approaching evening breeze.

“Nikolas,” he muttered as his heart crashed into his stomach. He raced back as fast as he could, fearing the absolute worst thing had happened to the Prince of Cordonia. “I knew I shouldn’t have left him alone. Liam and Riley are going to kill me, and I would deserve it. I just hope he’s not …” he trailed off when the site came into full view. It was worse than he imagined.

His eyes searched frantically until relief washed over him when he caught his first glimpse of Nikolas sitting under a tree, eating, and seemingly unconcerned by the inferno that had lit up the dusky sky.

Drake rushed over to him and lifted him into his arms and held onto him tightly.  “Are you okay, buddy?”  

Nikolas chuckled, “I’m fine, Uncle Drake.”

He lowered him back on the ground and started patting him down, looking for burns or injuries. 

Drake let out a sigh of relief. “How? How did this …” he turned to look at the fire, then raised his voice. “Wait! You caught my goddamn truck on fire?”

Nik followed his uncle's gaped-mouth stare to the truck engulfed in flames, then screwed up his face. "Yeah ... about that. I think I used too much of that lighter fluid stuff building a campfire. But I made you something." He reached into his jacket pocket, pulled out a s'more, licked the melted chocolate off the side, then proudly held it up to Drake. "The marshmallow is exactly the way you like it, too: completely charred."

Drake dropped his head into his palms and repeated a slew of curse words and sounds that were not even human. As badly as he wanted to destroy everything around him at that moment, to release a fit of anger the likes of which no one had ever seen in him before, it appeared Nikolas had beat him to it: There was nothing left around there to destroy. 

He dropped his arms to his sides in defeat and looked to the heavens before surmising, “This is my punishment, isn’t it? I stole that taser from the guard as a kid and let Liam take the blame for it. I insisted Liam come with me in that boat during a storm, and he nearly drowned when it overturned. He got lost in the woods on my time. I pushed him too hard once during maze tag. I got stuck in that laundry chute all night, and Constantine took hide-and-seek away from him. This …” he motioned to Nikolas, who was smiling back at him with a big cheesy grin, “this is how he got me back for all of it. Well, you win, Liam! You win!  I hope you are having one hell of a time in Paris, schmoozing and laughing your ass off, because I have nothing left in this world but this …  hairy, lint-filled s’more with your son’s saliva all over it …  and it’s not even toasted right!”

“I didn’t make it right?” Nikolas asked thoughtfully. “Hang on. I can make you another one.” He bent down, pulled out a marshmallow from the bag and rammed a mud-covered stick entirely through its center. Drake watched as Nik skipped over and held it next to the flames shooting out the window of his truck.

For several seconds, Drake contemplated whether he should just leave the child there and let nature take its course. Glaring back to the star-filled sky, he groaned, “You owe me big for this.”

Tugging Nik by his jacket hood to pull him away from the hot blaze, he startled the boy who then whipped around with the burning marshmallow and accidentally got it stuck to Drake’s shirt. “The fuck is wrong with you?”

Ten minutes passed, and the two were on the dirt road heading back to the highway’s main stretch. After patting out the fire on his shirt, Drake planned to call the fire department to report the inferno taking place in the woods. He laughed wryly when he realized the phone was still in the glove box of his burning vehicle. And it appeared Neal’s skank ass wasn’t coming after all, so the pair would have to flag down someone and hope they actually stopped. Thankfully, Nikolas had his backpack on, and Drake used the night vision goggles to direct his way along the darkened path.

Hand in hand and approaching the main thoroughfare, Nik’s legs were starting to tire, and his droopy eyes looked up. “Uncle Drake, will you carry me?”

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“Pleeeeeeease,” Nikolas begged in a high-pitched squeal that grated Drake’s teeth.

Drake stopped with a huff and crouched down. “Get the fuck on my back,” he commanded, “you’ve burned and shot the front part of me, so your ass is gonna have to hold onto the back. And I swear to God, Nik, if you so much as drool on me, you can sleep in the woods with the wolves and bears and poodles. Understood?”

With a tired nod, Nik wrapped his little arms around Drake’s neck and held on. As they proceeded ahead, the prince asked, “Would you tell me a bedtime story?”

Drake grunted, “You wanna bedtime story? I’ll tell you a bedtime story. It’s an ol’ Bianca Walker original that she used to tell me every night called ‘Go the fuck to sleep!’ The end.”

Nikolas sleepily chuckled. “I already have that book, Uncle Drake. My dad’s secretary, Charlotte, gave it to me and told me to put it in my room. She said if my mom or dad found it, just to tell them you gave it to me.”

“Of course she did,” Drake scoffed, thinking about the other person who found pure delight in annoying him.

Through the night-vision goggles, the headlights of a random car could be seen driving by, and Drake let out a relieved breath, knowing they were so close.

The night couldn’t end that easily, though. A sudden sense of unease enveloped Drake, telling him that everything was not as it seemed. His steps quickened, and his heart pounded away in his chest.

Feeling like he was being followed, he turned on his heels, then widened his eyes. 

A large brown bear let out a roar that echoed past them.

Drake shrugged his shoulders and muttered, “Yep. That’s about right.”

The survival training he’d learned from his Campers Anonymous group about bear encounters kicked in, and he completely stilled his body. That was until he heard, “BEEEEAAAR!” screamed over his shoulder and felt Nik’s body drop to the ground.

“Don’t move, Nikolas,” Drake ordered through a whisper.

It was too late; he was gone and headed toward the road.

Drake whirled around to see the bear on its hind legs, drumming its chest and licking its lips. “Shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Wait for me, Nik!” He took off running.

--------- 

Alyssa was headed back to Cordonia earlier in the night than she expected. With her hands firmly gripped on the steering wheel, she complained to her friend through the car's Bluetooth, “The guy showed up one hour late to our meeting spot, then drove through a McDonalds, asked if I wanted anything, proceeded to park behind a church and tell me he has condoms before the cops picked him up on a warrant! Worst. Date. Ever.”

Driving around a bend in the road, Alyssa slammed on the brakes when her headlights reflected off a small child darting into the road. As her tires screeched, she let out a deafening scream when a man came out of nowhere, followed immediately by a bear. The frantic man shoved the kid out of the way.

Though  the brake pedal was pressed to the floor, the car collided with Drake, and his body flew onto the hood before falling feebly to the road.

The bear sniffed at Drake and batted him around a couple of times before taking off into the woods.

When Alyssa was sure it was safe to do so, she and a crying Nik both crouched around a moaning Drake.

_________

The following morning, Drake's eyes fluttered open. His vision was a little fuzzy, but he could make out a doctor hovering over him and a worried Liam standing with Nikolas at the foot of his bed. He tried to speak, wanting to know what happened, but was unable to open his mouth.

"Don't try to speak, Mr. Walker. Your jaw was wired shut to protect the small fracture you suffered from the car accident. You also broke both legs and sprained your neck. You have a long recovery ahead of you, but shouldn't need to spend any more time in the hospital. You’re a very lucky man. Now if you’ll excuse me, I will get the discharge papers and check to see if the ambulance transporting you to the palace has arrived. His Majesty has offered to allow you to recover in his home." 

Drake took one look at a gleeful, bouncing Nikolas and shook his head as best as he could with a neck brace on and emphatically mumbled his indiscernible objections.

Liam chuckled, "Quit being so modest, Drake. I assure you it’s no trouble at all. Besides, it's the least I could do after you saved my son's life. And Nik here even offered to let you stay in his room to keep you company."

Nik nodded with a grin. “Yep. For the next eight to 12 weeks, it's just me and my Uncle Drake hanging out all day and night.”

Drake tried to escape from his bed but couldn’t move without use of his legs.

Liam walked around to the side of the bed and put his hand on Drake’s shoulder. “Look at you trying to protest. You never were one to accept charity. I told you, I’m more than happy to help. You deserve this and more.”

A knock at the door diverted their attention and a head popped in. “I’m here to transport Mr. Walker back to the palace, Your Majesty.”

“Perfect! And on such short notice too. So glad my secretary could arrange this ride,” Liam exclaimed. He glanced down at his injured friend in the bed and smiled. “You ready to go home, my friend?”

No! No! That’s fucking, Neal. He doesn’t even have a real ambulance. I’m not going. Somebody, anybody, heeeelp!