#anyway this time i'd come in for the big D

[eclarinet]

same soup... different day

[bedlamsbard]

I think everyone who's followed me since my Star Wars days knows this already, but I am not watching That Show (Ahsoka), I don't want to hear about it, I don't want to talk about it, I have everything related to it blacklisted (including "star wars" right now), I will probably unfortunately still know what's happening in it, but like...please do not come try to talk to me about it. No not even about [insert whatever exception you think counts here]. "But what about --" No. Leave me alone about it, I don't want to know, I don't go here anymore, the happiest day of my fandom life was the day I broke up with Star Wars. If you were not around then this sounds overly dramatic but it was Really Really Bad.

[weaselishmcdiesel]

Hm I want to say nice things about you today too >:0

You are genuinely so fun to talk to, I was a bit scared to interact with you at first and tbh I don’t actually know what broke the ice originally?? But like you’re so easygoing that I warmed up to you really fast which is kinda a feat of it own

I’m pretty sure I knew you from dailymumbo first and when you followed me I was like ‘weasel???? 👀’. Your arts so fun and expressive, you’ve got a really distinct style that I can recognize even if it’s for something I know nothing about. Your choice of color is So tasty and I want to eat the art you render fr. (your designs are also so adorable and fun too, still obsessed with conure grian)

and ye you turned me into a real mumbo appreciator too so thanks for that :)

you’ve also helped me come out of my shell a bit more too which is really cool okay I run away now

*me reading this with a growing smile and the gruesome sounds of markiplier playing callisto protocol in my ear* AJSHKDF

ROOOO IM GONNA *PUNCHING AND KICKING THE AIR IN FRONT OF YOU* THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUUUU i also dont remember what got us talking but i do remember seeing your art page reblogging some of my stuff and getting excited and then it took a while after that to discover your main actually liking it paha XD i have absolutely shit memory but i am really super grateful to have such an easy n fun time talkin with you :D and little tag messages are so fun w you akjdhsf ESPECIALLY SINCE I REALLY LOVE YOUR ART I WAS KINDA SCARED OF YOU TO BEGIN WITH I SAW YOU AS A REALLY COOL INTIMIDATING ARTIST ASDHJKF turns out we have a lot of interests in common meaning youre just as lame as me 😈😈😈😈 mwahahahah

i really love your use of dark and bold colors, it makes your style super unique i think and it's something i really struggle with XD so i use the .. lighter brighter colors X) and then your absolutely superb animals and dragons and things and all your designs youre literally so cool please akdhjsfhsfa BUT AGAIN THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES. ROO IM. *CONTINUES SHADOWBOXING IN FRONT OF YOU OUT OF DIFFICULTY TAKING COMPLIMENTS* RARARGHGHG

[crest-of-gautier]

video editing is so fun... (specifically cutting down hours of gameplay into a highlights format)

[illubean]

Could I get headcanons for Feitan, Illumi, Leorio, and Chrollo falling for gn!reader who by all means seems like a strong, nuturing, emotionally stable individual but every once in awhile casually says or does smthin that makes people go "Oh you're a little fuckin nuts, actually"

(e.x.: Most of their D.I.Y. furniture is made of different kinds of bone, morbidly interested in the more gorey parts of their jobs, probably works in a field that allows them to be around the dead often like a taxidermist or a mortitian, highkey just unabashashedly a morbid little freak™️ whenever it comes up naturally in conversation but otherwise comes across as just an attentive lil guy you could bring home the average parents would love.)

HXH Men with a Morbid!S/o

Characters: Leorio Paladaknight, Illumi Zoldyck, Chrollo Lucilfer, Feitan Portor Type: Headcanons, Gn!reader

this is so me

Warnings: dead things and body parts and stuff

Leorio Paladaknight

being an aspiring doctor, Leorio thought that your knowledge on both human and animal anatomy was pretty useful

at first he didn't think much about your job and just assumed you were some type of doctor or biologist or something

he often asks you questions as he studies and you're a pretty good tutor

the first time Leorio realized you were kinda weird is when one day you were walking down the street and saw some roadkill

and you were like "aww too bad, the skin and bones are too damaged to harvest"

and you kept walking like it was normal while he was like ?!!??!?

or you guys were having a normal conversation and you say something like

"if you died i'd taxidermy you and re-articulate your skeleton so you'd be with me forever <3"

1 taxidermizing humans is illegal and 2 WHAT

he is cold sweating wtf did he get himself into

when he comes to your house for the first time and sees a bunch of bones, animal skins and wet specimens he damn near passes the fuck out

how do you just casually have dead things and remains around your house!?

AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU MADE YOUR COFFEE TABLE OUT OF CAMEL BONES?

he is freaking the fuck out and you're just like "dw everything is ethically sourced :D"

yeah he thinks you're a freak and he is too fearful to break up with you ever (not like he was planning to anyways)

Illumi Zoldyck

whatever drew Illumi to you had to have been some type of power

aside from that power, to Illumi you were relatively normal and had a good grip on your emotions which made you a perfect candidate

that being said he could care less what your job was, you'd just end up working for or with him eventually

when he started bringing you around the estate, you often sought out their guard dog Mike and Illumi couldn't think of why

that is until you came back one day with a human femur and bright smile on your face

"... where did you even get that?" "From one of Mike's victims. If I collect enough I could make a whole set of bar stools!"

he blinked at you and chose to ignore your statement

i mean, to each their own am i right?

so you have ah hobby, big deal

Illumi just thinks you're pretty normal personality wise until you randomly but casually drop information about what you do in your free time or have in your home

so now whenever he has a job Illumi calls you in for cleanup

you get to do.... whatever it is you do and there's no evidence of a dead body left behind, it's a win win

Chrollo Lucilfer

he couldn't care less what your job is because it's probably not worse than his 😭

he didn't really notice anything "morbid" about you until he asked about your jewlery

you wore things like resin caster bug pendants or bird skull earrings and stuff

he just assumed they were fake and you bought them because they looked badass

but then you told him you make it all YOURSELF

he is intrigued

he doesn't really question you past that because you were probably buying the bones and stuff somewhere (spoiler alert you're not)

what really caused him to think was when you casually just picked up a dead rat off the floor in some abandoned building you were exploring and suck it in your pocket

bro was so confused

"What do you need that for?" "To make a new necklace :3"

yeah now he knows that your odd taste in jewelry goes deeper than just that

he won't judge you though, if anything you're a better person than he is considering you don't kill things yourself

he is literally a murderer and a thief and has committed like 3467633788 crimes so he couldn't judge even if he wanted to

so now when he sees dead animals and what not he bags them up and brings them to you

he likes to sit in on your cleaning and making process

you seem like a perfectly normal and sweet person to everyone else but Chrollo knows about your freaky little hobby and it just makes him like you even more

Feitan Portor

I feel like for you and Feitan to even be acquainted you have to be part of the troupe

whatever you do outside of it is your business

buttttttt since you are his s/o and Feitan is probably homeless he crashes wherever you are

thus him finding out about your hobby and other job

out of everyone on this list he is the most interested

he too is a morbid little freak

he goes with you to find things and will help you with the cleaning/taxidermy or whatever process if you let him

what he doesn't understand though is why you don't just kill the things you want instead of hunting for already dead things

sometimes he will go catch like a squirrel or something and bring it back to you like a cat and tell you he found it like that

Fei baby. No the fuck you didn't

after doing what you're doing for so long you can tell what caused an animal to die but you wouldn't tell him that

he's just so cute and wants to be supportive of your hobby <3

[barcaatthemoon]

apologize || lucy bronze x reader ||

lucy shows up at your door asking for you to take her back.

you should have known what to expect when barcelona played real mardrid. lucy had flip flopped emotionally after your breakup. she knew that you were angry with her for a lot of different things, but she hadn't expected you to genuinely be done enough to leave. in lucy's mind, you didn't mean it because you hadn't before. and now, she was stuck in an apartment that felt too big because you and buffy were gone.

"can i come in?" lucy asked you. it was a dumb quesion, but you had a stupid answer to give her back. "i've got a toy for b."

"she doesn't like barcelona," you said as you looked at the little barcelona dog toy that lucy had in her hand. she glanced past you to see the golden retriever with the old barcelona collar lucy had bought. lucy quirked an eyebrow as she pointed at the dog, who was waiting patiently behind you for lucy to come to her. somehow, buffy had been dealing with the breakup the worst, always whining and looking for the spots where lucy would have been back home.

"then she can tear it to shreds, just please let me in," lucy pleaded with you. you sighed and stepped aside. lucy smiled and pressed a kiss against your cheek as she moved into your apartment. "thank you lovey."

"don't call me that," you snapped at her. lucy frowned as she knelt down in front of buffy. your dog sniffed at the toy, but ignored it in favor of cuddling up with lucy.

"you got big, baby b. you're not a baby anymore, are you?" there was a hint of guilt in lucy's voice. she had been there when you got buffy as a puppy, and for the first year or so of the dog's life as well. now, she had missed the last seven months. "how has she adjusted to the move?"

"it could be better, but we're doing okay," you told lucy. she smiled as she stood up and turned to face you. "why are you really here?"

"to ask for forgiveness and a second chance. i miss you so much. i won't ask you to come back to barcelona, but i want you in my life. i'll come here, i'll do anything, but please, let me back in."

"lucy, you're the one who told me to go in the first place. you said that you were sick of me, remember?" you stared at her as you waited for her to answer you. lucy remembered it all, and she didn't know why she had snapped at you that night. things had been tough with the team, and after it sounded like alexia wouldn't be coming back as soon as they hoped, lucy lost it. if you had been any less secure in yourself, you would have accused her of cheating on you.

"please, just come back to me. i miss you," lucy admitted. you could tell that it was hard for her to say that, but she still hadn't actually apologized to you yet. "i'll make it up to you, i swear."

"apologize to me lucy. we were together for a year, and no matter what you did, i never made you say sorry. things are different now, and if you want me to let you back in, you have to apologize," you told her. lucy's face fell, as if what you had asked of her was impossible. you scoffed and started to walk away from her when she finally spoke up.

"i am sorry. i am sorry for neglecting our relationship. i am sorry for not being as nice to you as i should have been. i am sorry for snapping at you when you just wanted to talk to me. i am sorry for letting you walk out and not talking to you, but it took everything in me not to crawl back to you before either of us were ready. lovey, i can't express how sorry i am that i ruined our relationship," lucy apologized. you stopped and turned around to see her staring at the ground. the sniffle was quiet, but you didn't miss it anyway.

"oh bonita." you were over in lucy's arms before you had time to blink. you could feel her tears dripping onto your shirt as she buried her face against you. "i didn't think you'd do it."

"i meant it when i said i'd do anything to get back with you," lucy said. "can i stay here tonight?"

"that's moving things a little fast, but we never did go at everybody else's speed, did we?" you laughed. "you can stay, but don't try anything lucy. i'm trusting you to do things right this time."

"i will, and if i don't, you will never have to even look at me again," lucy swore. she wasn't one for over the top statements like that, so you knew that she meant it. she'd be good to you this time because she really hadn't loved anybody like you in a long time.

[ghostbite0]

The horrors have returned D: I hope you get better soon!

Anyway if you're up to it I'd love to hear about the pint sized pillars "kid modes" that they have. It's so cute :( I just want them to have happy childhoods

hi anon! im so sorry i took so long to respond to this ask— this ended up in my drafts with how often i was going back to edit it haha ;u; i had to brainstorm a bit!

in order of eldest to youngest—

gyomei

sweetest soft spoken sensitive teenager ever

he really doesn’t change all that much— he’s definitely less “leadery” and “old” though. he acts like any other kid

very gentle and humble. he gets easily flustered

amane gave him a kiss on the head and gyomei had to excuse himself

sanemi and tengen found him knelt down and trying to hold back tears. he was not expecting such affection since he’s used to always being the caretaker

one day he was deep in kid mode while everyone else was fine. and him being so naturally kind and loving caused several of them to drop down with him

tengen

he’s 10x more silly and playful

however it’s also obvious he has some self confidence issues

tengen doesn’t go kid mode a lot but when he does he gets really embarrassed and upset about being seen like that

he’s like those disney channel cartoons where the little kid thinks someone is really beautiful so he constantly gives them flowers and gifts. thats him with suma, makio, and hinatsuru

“honey you don’t need to do that… we’re all married to you in the future!”

“WE’RE MARRIED?”

when tengen recovers from kid mode he is as red as a tomato while his wives fawn over him and reassure him its okay

kid mode tengen loves playing with the little ones, and rough-housing with sanemi and rengoku

giyuu

ohhhhh he’s a happy little thing. it freaks everyone out at first

very friendly and compassionate, though he mostly keeps to himself

kid mode giyuu is a little more talkative, but only after he comes out of his shell

usually it’s one of the older boys or shinobu who can get him to engage with everyone

if one of the other kids struggles he will awkwardly shuffle over and give them a hug

kid mode giyuu is fairly close with rengoku, kid mode or not

he also really likes being around sanemi and obanai, since they are his age

if all three of them , or if just sanemi and obanai , are in kid mode, they’re a trio of best friends

sanemi

he is so god damn helpful

sanemi is pretty sweet and smiley, and he always leaps at the opportunity to help one of the other kids

kid mode sanemi tends to constantly wander up to kagaya (or whoever is babysitting) and ask what he can do

but every time they just reassure him its ok, and he should go be a kid and play with the other ones

he’s disappointed but then he gets really excited when tengen and rengoku invite him to play and he’s the happiest little thing

kid mode sanemi likes hanging out with the big kids, especially tengen. tengen (and kid mode tengen) think its sweet, and make a point of including him whenever they can

he’s weirded out by genya being older and taller than him but genya makes up for it via piggy back rides

obanai

shy and jittery little thing. he doesn’t drop his guard until a bit into the transformation, even in kid mode

usually the telltale sign of obanai being in kid mode is how small he looks. he curls in on himself and his eyebrows furrow with anxiety

he’s also way more flustered around mitsuri. he has a big crush on her. kid mode mitsuri and mitsuri both find it adorable— though she doesn’t recognize the “crush” aspect. mitsuri just finds obanai very sweet and open

he is also really sensitive. you break a rule in a game? he’s upset. you take someone’s spot? he’s upset. you try to steal food from mitsuri? run

he always needs to be warm … if obanai is the only one in kid mode, you better believe everyone is offering him a warm hug or snuggles

obanai has a hard time choosing who to go to, so then half of them/all of them have a group hug

he whispers a lot. it can be hard to hear him sometimes

when he wants something, he frames it as “kaburamaru wants x” or “kaburamaru says y”

rengoku

think regular rengoku but now a literal child

honestly people cannot tell when he’s in kid mode or not. rengoku is sweet and chaotic no matter what

though kid mode rengoku tends to address everyone in a very polite manner. he calls gyomei “mr. himejima,” despite gyomei telling him he didn’t have to

he does get a little sad when people mention his dad. he will straight up start crying his heart out if he’s reminded of his mom in any way

kid mode rengoku tries to be a big brother to senjuro, and senjuro plays along, but then it cuts to rengoku being fast asleep and senjuro tucking him in, or senjuro having to help his brother get ready for bed

rengoku talks about senjuro whenever he can, kid mode especially. he has no filter at all

he would be a leash kid purely because he has a habit of forgetting small things and getting distracted and wandering off because he saw a cool butterfly and wanted to tell senjuro about it

mitsuri

similar to rengoku she doesn’t change all that much, but she’s even sweeter and more emotional than before

and like rengoku she’s more polite, though she doesn’t really have any problem asking for things or communicating her needs

kid mode mitsuri wanted to rough house too, but the older boys thought she would get hurt. she proceeded to lift sanemi up and hold him above her head

since then she has been invited to play with them every single session

she thinks obanai is super cute and is less filtered about it. same with muichiro, though mitsuri will just walk over and pinch his cheeks or scoop him up into a hug

when they play house, mitsuri is always the mama, and muichiro is always her baby

she and shinobu regularly team up to do the boy’s hair and makeup

shinobu

mischievous little beast

scary smart, but way more obvious about it

this four year old will casually list all the elements on the periodic table then pretend nothing happened , as to intimidate the others

everyone fears her

LOTS of batting her eyelashes and an extended “pleeeeaaaaassssseeee”

she has her rage and can be a grumpy kid. she’s usually well behaved, but if she didn’t get a nap, or if she’s hungry, that’s when she gets more bristly and sensitive

shinobu tends to be more open too. there’s multiple instances where she started getting really sad out of nowhere, and when pulled aside by gyomei, she would start crying about how much she misses her big sister

she and kanao are still extremely close. kanao loves having a little sister, and does her hair and plays dress up with her

she still pesters giyuu. though when giyuu is also in kid mode, the two can usually be found giggling and chatting, and giyuu will give her piggy back rides and what not

muichiro

literally a one year old baby

the sweetest and happiest little baby. he is usually seen smiling and his giggles will fill up the room

he loves being around the others. he especially loves “play time” because he’ll crawl around on the ground and go right up to people

mostly gyomei. he mostly approaches gyomei

but as happy as he is, he cries pretty easily. can’t find his stuffed bunny? cries. cant fall asleep? cries

everyone spoils the hell out of him. they love when he goes baby mode. he is the cutest little thing

lots of idle babbles and muichiro making one-worded sentences that mostly consist of him saying someone’s name or pointing out something

amane and kagaya are extremely paternal to the point baby mode muichiro refers to them as his mama and papa

it breaks everyone’s heart

the baby always wants someone’s attention. even if its as simple as being in their arms. he especially loves being with gyomei

there have been several instances where he noticed obanai wasn’t eating, and would try to feed him his baby food so “obi” could get a full belly

tengen and sanemi started laughing and it resulted in the two getting a face full of mushed up veggies and rice

[artist-ellen]

The one, the only, Jaime Lannister

Confession time... I'm a big redemption-arc Jaime apologist. Season 8 was a betrayal on every level and I reject D&D's decisions with Jaime. In a hilarious/devestating twist season 8 episode 2 was the second episode I'd ever watched (the first was the Sand-Snake vs Greyjoy episode with my cousins, and s8ep2 I watched when it came out with my friend) and it hooked me enough to give the rest of season 8 a fighting chance (guess how that went). So... I was already a Braime stan via the books and 8x02... there's a reason I'm still raging all these years later. I was already set up for failure with my Beauty and the Beast retellings obsession... I have to stop or I'll never stop. Anyway, Jaime apologist, I've decided he and Brienne have a happy ending. Who is your problematic asoiaf fave?

I am the artist! Do not post without permission & credit! Thank you! Come visit me through my link tree on: instagram, tiktok or check out my coloring book available now \ („• ֊ •„) /

[lovelesscherub]

steddie nsfw, d/s undertones, blowjob

Steve down on his knees is one of Eddie's favorite sights in the whole entire world.

And Steve is always so eager to please, to obey. All Eddie has to do is give him that one look and Steve just knows to drop down by Eddie's feet, big brown eyes staring up at him with something that tells Eddie I'd let you do anything to me.

Eddie doesn't use that to his advantage nearly enough. Not as much as he'd like to, anyway. If it was up to him, he'd keep Steve on his knees between his legs all day every day. He wouldn't care who was around to witness it.

And that's where Steve is the most comfortable, anyway. Relaxed and carefree. At peace. Not a single thought in that pretty head of his, just focused on Eddie's cock. Eddie likes seeing Steve like that, giving his gorgeous brain a little rest from all the daily worrying and overthinking.

A pleased little smile spreads across Eddie's lips as he looks down at Steve, being met with the gaze of those pretty eyes looking back up at him expectantly. But not impatient, never impatient like this. Good thing Eddie likes taking his time.

"Open up", he says, and the words barely have enough time to leave his mouth before Steve's lips are already parting open for him. 

"Good boy", Eddie hums, watching the tip of Steve's tongue darting out to wet those plush pink lips.

He reaches his right hand towards Steve who instinctively opens his mouth up wider, allowing for easy access for Eddie's index and middle finger. His left hand comes to rest on Steve's cheek, thumb gently brushing along his cheekbone as Steve's lips wrap around Eddie's fingers as he sucks on them.

Eddie presses the pads of his fingers down on Steve's tongue, forcing Steve's mouth to fall back open.

"You want my cock, don't you, sweetheart?" Eddie asks pointedly.

Steve nods.

"Then you can take more than that, hm?"

Steve nods again.

Eddie slides his fingers in further, teasing at the back of Steve's throat where he can feel Steve's whole body tensing up as he tries to fight his gag reflex, before he manages to relax the muscles in his throat and jaw.

"There you go. Look at you", Eddie grins, proud, fucking his now drool-slick fingers into Steve's mouth, his thick rings bruising Steve's plump lips in the process.

Steve's hands slide up Eddie's thighs to tease over the crotch of Eddie's jeans as they search for his belt. There's a glint in Steve's eyes that says two can play at this game as he looks up at Eddie and feels how hard Eddie is underneath the denim. Eddie enjoys that glint. After all, he's always known how much of a tease Steve can be.

But Steve takes his time, too. He lets Eddie's fingers train his throat as his own fingers work on undoing Eddie's belt. Then the button of his jeans. Then the zipper. Then his hands fall down to his sides and he waits patiently.

Eddie pulls his fingers out of Steve's mouth and admires his reddened pouty lips for a moment before he pushes his jeans down all the way, until they fall onto the floor around his ankles. If Steve's mouth wasn't full of saliva already, he would've started drooling right about now at the sight of the outline of Eddie's bulging cock in his underwear.

Steve's body leans in closer just the tiniest bit and it makes Eddie smirk.

"Wanna taste?"

"Yeah", Steve breathes out and nods. His voice is already a little hoarse, just a taste of what it's going to sound like after Eddie's cock is done with him.

"Go on, baby."

Steve leans in and puts his mouth over the spot where the tip of Eddie's cock is still hiding under his underwear. He licks and drools and gets the soft cotton material wet, making Eddie groan at the feel of it.

"Fuck, Stevie", and Eddie's getting impatient now, tugging his underwear down to free his poor strained cock of its confinement.

Brat, Eddie thinks to himself when he sees Steve's triumphant smile.

He strokes his cock in slow, easy movements and guides the tip to Steve's perfect fucking mouth that opens up for him without command this time.

"God", Eddie grunts as he slides into the velvety heat of that mouth. His left hand comes up, fingers carding through Steve's soft hair.

Steve's eyes flutter shut as he works his tongue around the tip of Eddie's cock, and he hums as Eddie's hips slowly work on feeding Steve a couple more inches.

Eddie keeps the pace slow for a bit, slides out and then goes back in a little bit further than the last. He makes sure that Steve is comfortable, even though it takes all the willpower he has not to slide home and down that relaxed throat.

"You can fuck my mouth, Eddie", Steve rasps and blinks up at Eddie after letting Eddie's cock fall out of his mouth completely.

"Jesus", Eddie moans, squeezes the base of his cock and tries not to come right then and there. "You sure, baby?"

"Please", Steve all but whines, and who is Eddie to deny Steve anything in the world?

He guides his cock back into Steve's mouth, and he knows that Steve means business when he holds onto the sides of Eddie's thighs to brace himself.

Eddie starts nice and easy again, but moves his hips with more and more intention as he slowly picks up the pace and thrusts into Steve's mouth.

Steve's eyes are watering but he doesn't break eye contact with Eddie even once.

"You're so fucking beautiful, Steve. Taking my cock so well, making me feel so fucking good", Eddie croons.

Steve's face is a flushed, wet mess. It really is the most beautiful fucking sight Eddie has ever seen, and he's just about ready to fucking bust.

He picks up the pace, holds onto Steve's hair a little tighter, keeps him so close that with each thrust the tip of Steve's cute little nose nudges into Eddie's dark pubes and Eddie's about to lose it.

"I'm so fucking close, baby, you're doing so good for me", Eddie moans. His voice is low and breathy, and his thrusts are losing their rhythm, hips stuttering slightly.

What tips him over the edge is the way Steve fucking swallows around his cock, even though his mouth and throat are stuffed full to the brim.

Eddie brings his free hand to the back of Steve's head while the other tugs at Steve's hair, keeps Steve's head nuzzled into his crotch as he comes down Steve's throat. In the haze of his orgasm, he hears Steve splutter slightly, then feels him swallow around him, making him shiver.

"Fuck, Stevie, you're unreal", Eddie groans as he eases himself out of Steve's mouth.

Steve's eyes are shiny and a little red, cheeks wet, lips swollen, and the corners of his mouth slick with saliva and whatever he didn't manage to swallow. And he's looking up at Eddie with a bright, pleased smile.

"Love you", Steve says in a hoarse voice that's barely above a whisper, and it goes straight to Eddie's heart.

Eddie lets out a breathy laugh as he falls down onto his knees, jeans and underwear still pooling around his ankles. He tackles a laughing Steve onto the floor on his back, and hovers over him with the biggest shit-eating grin on his lips.

"Fucking love you more than anything, sweetheart", he beams and kisses all over Steve's face before capturing that heavenly mouth in a deep kiss.

[thewertsearch]

CG: I NEED YOU TO COME THROUGH FOR ME, BECAUSE WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF MANPOWER HERE. CT: D --> We are CG: YES DIDN'T I MENTION? FEFERI, KANAYA AND TAVROS ARE DEAD, SOLLUX IS UNCONSCIOUS, AND TEREZI IS MISSING.

It all fell apart so fast, didn't it?

One minute, he was sitting in the Veil’s rec room, bickering with Jade. The next, everything was blood and honking.

What the fuck happened to Kanaya.

You foolishly misplaced your glasses during your heroic revival attempt, leaving you with no way of communicating with the others to warn them.

Phew. You got me, Hussie.

But there is no one in here. Just someone taking a nap on the horn pile over there. And a big puddle of something next to the transportalizer.

We turned our back on Kanaya's body, and now it’s on the move.

Who’s the culprit, though? The only troll unstable enough to do this is probably Gamzee...

Are those.... fang marks?

KANAYA!!!

She's back!!

I mean, she's apparently a fucking vampire, but who gives a shit? We're back in business, baby!

Man, this is fucking random, isn't it? From where I'm sitting, it's come completely out of the blue. If it gets my girl back in the game, I'll take it, but how the hell does this even work?

I know Kanaya used to dream of being a vampire rainbow drinker, but dreams don't usually come true this easily. Alternia does have undead, so it's possible she was bitten before she Entered, but I would have expected her vampirism to have manifested much earlier in the session. She has always had pointed teeth, but I assumed it was just a natural trait in trolls.

Is it a Sylph thing, perhaps? The class is apparently 'more magical' than a Witch, so maybe Kanaya's latent magical abilities were triggered in death, restoring her to... undeath?

If that's true, though, then why a vampire? They don't have anything to do with Space, unless you count the fact that they're nocturnal, and thus active when the night sky is visible. I doubt that's even true for rainbow drinkers, who are probably diurnal.

Kanaya's thirst for fuchsia blood would suggest that her instincts have taken over for the time being. We won't really know how much self-control she has until she's face-to-face with a living troll, but I'm confident in her willpower.

That said... I'd absolutely love a villainous Kanaya. If she fully gave into her thirst, she'd be a bigger threat than all these idiots combined - especially if she has access to the traditional array of vampire powers.

Anyway, please excuse me as I pop the biggest bottles of champagne. Kanaya's back, baby!

[quinton-reviews]

Hi Quinton!! I have been a HUGE fan of your stuff since a friend sent me the Tobuscus Fallen Titans (I used to watch him back in high school and was like "huh, wonder what happened to him after those allegations") and I gotta say, it is REALLY FUNNY every time my fiancé and I watch the iCarly videos again, because when you cover Gibby's stunt double breaking his ribs, you cut to a clip of The Official Podcast. I used to play D&D with one of the main dudes from the podcast, so when he talks during that clip I do a goddamn double take literally every time.

Anyways, I remember an original Patreon stretch goal being a Fallen Titans on Homestuck! I was really big into Homestuck in my early 20s, and was wondering if that's still on the table at some point? If not that's fine, I understand plans change! I just love Fallen Titans lol, the Fred episode and the Neil Cicierega unFallen Titans are some of my favorite videos of yours!

That's a real funny story!

So here's the rundown on the Homestuck video. When I first started making long videos, they were actually inspired by the relationship I had with other YouTubers at the time. I used to watch, like, H3H3 and Filthy Frank, etc; and I'd always see people obsessed with the versions of creators from the past. Like, "Oh 2015 H3 was the best" and "Oh 2012 Frank was peak." So I had this idea that it would be crazy if H3 posted, like, a video he spent a decade on and you got a new video with 2015 H3 10 years on. (I don't watch H3 anymore ironically)

So the original idea for the "long video" format was that it would be cool if, throughout a long, analysis/review/recap video, you kept noticing someone get older. Maybe my months, maybe by years. That's why I always like to get a haircut when I start one of these videos. If you scrub through and you see my hair get longer and messier as it goes on I think that adds something magical you can't fake.

So... My pitch to the Homestuck video was that it would be funny to work on it just once per year. To record one segment, say "That's it for 12 months", and then come back around to it. And when I was making the iCarly and Victorious videos I actually recorded a few minutes of the video! I think it was two segments in total. But then I had a bunch of personal stuff happen and my work drive has been much lower, so any "back burner" video hasn't gotten much attention since then.

Now that the iCarly mini-series is done with, I want to focus on some short one-off videos I can make before April. But once that's done with, I would REALLY love to start work on a few more long-term projects which will take months or years to finish. I think returning to work on the Homestuck video, to at least get the first 20-30 minutes done, would be a great idea this summer.

Now, if you want to know my pitch for that video, here it is. The video is not a recap of the creative history of the franchise. I do not get into drama, community hell, lawsuits, or other YouTubers. My idea is this: you always hear about Homestuck as an outsider but you never hear about the actual content. Most franchises on Earth I know something about, even and especially if I've never been interested in them. I can tell you a bunch of facts about wrestling and MLP and the Fast and the Furious simply through cultural osmosis and having friends who are into those things.

I can't tell you the plot of Homestuck, who the characters are, what the themes are, nothing. I've known a lot of people who were into Homestuck but nothing about the series!

So I thought it would thus be funny to make a video about a bunch of people who know nothing about the series starting from the beginning and giving their reactions, even if it's been years since it all started. I call this part of the video the "Homestuck Book Club." So the next step is me picking out the members (who all have to have no history with it) and making sort of a podcast setup. We'd then read and record every six months or so, IDK.

This is why the video has been stuck in production hell! Everyone who wants to work on it and messages me about it already knows the franchise. I don't want spoilers, I don't want people writing for the video who get it already. I want to capture the "what the fuck is this" energy of three dudes just getting in the middle of it.

Also, I think that I really like the theme of the video capturing our lives as they go by, capturing us aging and changing. If you came back from the future and told me this video comes out in five years, I'd say great. If you told me it comes out in ten years, I'd say awesome. Until then, the latest edit will always be on Patreon, even if you have to dig a little.

[sammiesallow]

Heya! I've recently found your writing and I've got to say I love your writing style sm <33! Also I'd like to request some headcanons about Ominous and Sebastian (separate please) about cuddling for the first time with the reader, if you are ok with it of course, also I'm planning on sending more requests in the future so can I be known as crow anon? Anyways have a good day or night :D and don't forget to stay hydrated!

Hi crow anon! I love this request, i was planning on writing something like this anyways!! 🤭🤭

Cuddling Headcanons! (Sebastian, ominis)

(Art not mine!) (p.s look at ominis he's snoozing 😭❤️)

Summary - cuddling for the first time with Sebastian and ominis! All fluff <3

Sebastian Sallow ⭐️

He's not necessarily nervous when asking you to cuddle for the first time

Naturally, he's flirty so he kinda just asks you honestly.

"Can you come here?" *yoink*

Obviously he will ask if you're ok with anything, but he just loves being able to hold onto you in any way

Somehow the most aggressive cuddler ever though 💀

"Get over here!!!" *pulls you aggressively to his side* (in a loving way)

Like for real man calm down I'm not going anywhere 😭

After you sit/lay with him he calms down quite a bit though

Immediately melts in your arms and becomes a baby

He loves to hold you, but more importantly, you hold him

It brings him so much comfort

Your body heat and the smell of your perfume/cologne is enough to send him to sleep

And he totally does by the way

He's out like a light within the first 5 minutes

The most adorably stupid sleeper ever

He's not cute or elegant by any means- sebastian will be snoring and drooling while he's sprawled out on top of you

Sorry bae, you're not leaving any time soon

And if you do have to go for any reason he's whining like a baby and begging you to come back to the comfort of his arms

He is the cutest thing ever in the stupidest way- he's such a dork 💀

Ominis Gaunt 🐍

Unlike sebastian, he's very nervous to ask you for cuddles

He's laying on the couch in the undercroft and Says "can... Can I hold you? I mean- can we.. Cuddle?"

He feels you sit down and immediately grabs on to you

He wraps his arms around your waist and puts his face in your neck, inhaling your scent

Slowly pulls you down with him

HE'S SO CUTE

You're laying on top of his chest and you can hear his heartbeat going wild

He'll whisper in your ear how much he love you and he'll run his fingers through your hair

Like sebastian, he's out

Immediately he's fallen asleep

Unlike sebastian, he's a very elegant sleeper

He looks majestic honestly

He's breathing softly, eyes closed and mouth slightly parted

He always wants to hold you, but occasionally you can be the big spoon

It makes him feel safe

He's so in love with you, he always wants physical contact so cuddling is the best option 😭❤️

A/n - THIS IS THE CUTEST THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN OMGGGGG I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THEM

ty for the request crow anon!! Excited to see more!!! (P.s maybe you can tag the end of your requests with '-🦅' or a bird emoji :D only if u want ofc!)

[my-great-big-book-of-fan-fiction]

Katsuki Bakugou x F!reader - smut oneshot about makin' babies

MDNI!

The last domestic post I made kinda got really popular, and I love that trope so much I thought I'd make another one! smut this time, though.

warnings: reader is afab and presents as female/feminine, Penetrative sex, breeding, reader is (or was) on birth control, a sprinkle of degradation, and lots and lots of cursing

smut starts at the *

______________________________________________________________

bang

the door to your shared home in the suburbs swung open, scary for most but completely normal, if not comforting for you. "Wifey! I'm home," Katsuki called out gruffly, removing his gauntlets, tossing his mask off, practically ripping off his shoes, and crashing onto the very expensive couch with his dirty, sooty hero suit. By the time you walked in, his arms were tucked behind his head, his eyes were closed, and his mouth was pushed into a scowl as he awaited his pampering.

He opened one eye, glancing at you before shutting it again. "Took you long enough," he grumbled, his way of saying he missed you dearly. "um, excuse me, but what are you doing on the couch in that," you asked, annoyance lacing your tone as you put your hands on your hips. You were wearing his old T-shirt from high school, black with a white skull in the center, along with underwear as bottoms.

"I'm tired, I've been savin' lives all day, Just lemme relax" he scoffed, not moving an inch. "You know you're the one cleaning that, right?" He rolled his eyes, sighing and sitting up. "I'd be cleanin' it anyway, you never do it right." He always did this, to the point that you suspect he liked cleaning.

"Where's my damn kiss already," he asked, more of an order, and looking up at you expectantly as he scowled. You smirked, taking the opportunity to gain a little extra power. "You can have it once you get off the couch and shower," you shrugged, walking off into the bedroom. You could hear him groan, but really it was a whine in disguise. A whine for big strong tough manly men, if you will.

after a moment of silence, you could hear his heavy stomping into the bedroom, a devilish grin on his face as he examined your place on your shared bed. "I'll only take a shower if you do it with me," he said pridefully, as if he cracked the horny husband code.

You laughed at his arrogant demeanor, looking up from your phone a moment and wanting to mess with him a little. "fine, but just so you know, I forgot to take my birth control last night." This was actually true, but mentioning it now made it so much funnier.

He paused, before cocking a brow and sauntering over to stand above you. "So what," He said boldly, that grin persisting. You raised your brows, an amused smile on your face as your attention was kept mainly on your phone. "So...I'm off my birth control? We can't do anything penetrative, unless you want a mini-Katsuki running around."

He rolled his eyes, leaning down to you with his hands on his hips. "What's so wrong about that, hah? I'm great." Now your attention was all the way on him, trying to gauge if he was joking or not. "Katsuki, you really need to think about the words that come out of your mouth." Now we were in serious territory, "Katsuki" was reserved for seriousness.

He huffed, clearly running out of patience. "You thick or somethin'?" You rolled your eyes, maybe you were if you couldn't grasp what exactly he was trying to get at. "If we did that, I'd probably get pregnant," you sighed, talking as if you were explaining things to a toddler. "No shit, idiot. I've been wanting you pregnant since we got married, anyways."

Ok, now you had to put your phone down completely. You just stared at him for a moment, like a deer in the headlights, processing. "W- uh...why haven't you told me?" Having kids was something you both agreed on doing, but the when and where was never discussed.

"Didn't think it was that important until now..." he grumbled, looking askance as his cheeks pinked. He didn't think you'd say yes until now. You studied him for a moment, weighing your options, before smiling and giggling a little. "you know what? why the hell not." He seemed to light up, his smile returning as he yanked you up and out of bed.

*

"Well come on dumbass, we have a baby to make," he chuckled, practically on cloud 9. It made you smile, seeing your grumpy husband so happy, albeit his smile looks down right dastardly. He pulled you to the bathroom, switching on the water and taking his clothes off as fast as possible. You did the same, rather excited yourself given the circumstances, and before you knew it you had your back pressed to the shower wall.

He was holding you up by your hips, and currently shifting your legs to be on his broad, scarred shoulders. His member was just an inch or two before you, the tip oozing semen as he situated the two of you. His lips were right next to your ear, and he seemed to be bending you with the intent of snapping you in half.

"You better be fuckin' ready, 'cause I'm not stopping if you cry," He purred, his voice deep and husky. he was technically being honest, because no, he wouldn't stop if you cried, but if you showed even the tiniest bit of true fear he'd stop even if he was a millisecond away from climax.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, steadying yourself before glancing down at his rock hard cock. You've been married for what, 3 years? Yet you still can't help but tremble at the sight, at the idea that he would be inside you, this time with the intent of impregnating you.

"Good," you giggled back seductively, making him chuckle. "Better pray you keep that confidence," he taunted, before pressing you as hard against the wall as possible. He snaked a muscled arm around your waist, the other reaching down to guide himself to your dripping cunt. You squirmed a little, the anticipation getting to you, and he pinched your side harshly. "Hold the fuck still," he growled, giving you a sharp stare.

He waited a second or two after you settled, making sure you stayed that way, before continuing. The head of his weeping cock entered the beginnings of your vagina, you flesh gripping his in a way that elicited a grunt from him. He kept pushing through, inch by inch, until he got tired of waiting and shoved the last couple inches in with one hard thrust. You moaned out, the freshly manicured nails he paid for pressing into the skin of his shoulders.

He waited a moment, allowing you to get comfortable while trying to mask his panting from how good you felt, before slowly pulling back out and shoving it back in. The sounds you made, from your mouth and anywhere else, drove him to the brink of his patience. He began pistoning in and out of you, huffing and puffing and groaning as he gazed upon your current state. Moaning at every thrust, Hair messy from being wet and dragging across the shower wall, eyes having a distant and glossy look as he wrecked you. He buried his face in your neck, giving sloppy kisses to you skin, partly to muffle how absolutely drunk off your cunt he sounded.

He pulled away from your neck but never halted the wreckless movement of his hips, smirking down at you menacingly as he panted and groaned. "Hah...You gonna fuckin' cum, baby? Gonna cum on my...hngh...cock like a good little slut?" Dirty talk was his specialty, something he took pride in. He loved how it made you clench around him, just as you were doing now.

"Mmh....holy shit," He muttered, Mouth pressed to your ear. "Gonna fill you with my kids, so you better not let any drip out." He said it as if it were a threat, and he began to speed up even more as he gripped your sides, his tip giving sloppy kisses to your cervix with each ministration. The shower wall made a hollow pounding sound, accompanied by the squelching of your rough sex, his groans and mindless rambling, and your squeals and moaning.

"Katsuki! You better not fucking stop," you moaned, brows knit together in concentration. He was hitting every spot just right, and your hips rolled against his. Just thinking about his cum, about him filling you with life, it put you on the edge. Suddenly, the tight knot in your core snapped, and you found yourself having one of the best orgasms of your life on your husband's cock. The sounds you made, your blissed out face, everything made him feel stupidly hot.

"Fuck...Fuck, fuck fuck!" His face buried back into your neck, biting the skin to muffle his loud, guttural moaning. He gripped your hips so hard his nails made indents in your skin, his own hips stuttering to a stop as he held you down on him. You could feel him burst within you, ribbons of hot white cum coating your insides. Slowly he came down from his high, panting and whimpering just a little. He felt how limp your body was in his arms, and immediately felt the need to take care of you.

Without disturbing your current position, he leaned over and shut the water off. Gently and slowly, he began to pull out, his cock now limp after doing it's job. He shifted you to be carried bridal style, not bothering with a towel as he took you out of the bathroom and to the bedroom. "Kat..." You mumbled, laughter in your throat at how careful he was being. This was hardly the roughest sex you've had with him, yet he was treating you like glass.

"What," he grumbled, laying you on the bed. For a moment, just one little moment, he watched as his cum oozed out of you. It was hot, way too hot. "It's not like I'm made of porcelain," You giggled, sitting up on your elbows. He quickly rolled his eyes and shoved two fingers into you, causing you to squeal. "Kat," you cried, a moan falling from your lips. "What? gotta keep as much of it in there as possible." He pulled his fingers back out with all the care he could muster, before quickly grabbing some clean panties and sliding them on you. You might have believed that was the only reason, but the way he curled his fingers up just right said otherwise.

"The bed's gonna be wet, we have to dry off," you sighed, moving to get up. He quickly scooped you up and set you down so your head was on the pillow, getting in with you and snuggling up behind you. "Who gives a shit," he grumbled, nuzzling into your neck as he pulled the comforter up to his shoulders. "I'm gonna be a dad," he whispered, pulling you into him and resting both hands on your lower abdomen.

______________________________________________________________

Hey, You know how I said I loved the domestic crap? yep, still do. Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did, and as always, don't be afraid to comment! fr if you comment we're literally married now, ily.

[noellefan101]

Stealing Their Hoodie-Genshin

Characters: Tighnari, Wanderer/Scaramouche, Cyno, Xiao, Albedo x gn! reader

Summary: You steal his hoodie, what do you think abt it + what do they think abt it

Warnings: established relationship, modern au(i guess), you´re shorter than him, studying(albedo)

Note: i really hope you like this. it was honestly a pain to write three fics in a row, but i´m still alive i guess(if i don´t post in the next week im dead). also, i´m changing my theme a little, luv you.

Tighnari

you really wanted to try out his hoodie, he always wears it and it looked really comfy. you just didn´t know if he would get mad if you tried it on. it was his favorite hoodie and you didn´t want to make him mad if he didn´t like you wearing it/I'd say he´s really scary when he´s mad, like a mad mom kinda scary/. anyway, when you put it on you really didn´t want to take it off, it was just soooo comfy, and warm, and soft, and big, and... you get it. you were so lost in the comfiness and the smell of his perfume, that you didn´t realize someone just came home. yeah, unfortunately you were caught. at least he wasn´t mad, well... maybe a little, but that was mainly because you could´ve just asked instead.

one of the last things he wants you to be is a thief, just ask next time.

Wanderer/Scaramouche

he looked so good in it, you wanted to try it too. but the only problem was, that your boyfriend had a lot of temper. and you didn´t know if he would react badly/or just kill you on the spot/so you thought about asking, but got scared of the thought immediately. so the day of the week he wasn´t home you went for it, and you found it and tried it on. just as you thought, it looked really pretty on you. and it was really comfy too. the only thing that was wrong, he was coming home early as a surprise, and of course he didn´t tell you(ofc you didn´t its a f*''*ing surprise, why tf did i write that). but i guess he surprised you more than he thought, because he also surprised himself. he may have tried to ignore it, but you could clearly tell he noticed by his light red cheeks. but it was only because you looked really good in it.

he´ll be surprising you a lot more, to reveal all your secrets.

Cyno

his cloak from the manga as a hoodie omg give. me. one... 'cough cough' anyway, you really liked this one hoodie he had, why it was reeeaally big and looked oh-so-comfy. you really wanted to try it out, but you didn´t know how he would react if you asked. and you were kinda scared of it. sure he was not as scary around you, but you hadn´t done anything like this before, so how would you know how he would be if you did. sooooo you decided to "borrow" one of his hoodies while he was out. and, just as you thought, it was really comfortable and really big on you too, and as a bonus, it smelled like him. you eventually fell asleep in it, and didn´t wake up when Cyno came home either. he just looked at you confused as to why you were wearing his hoodie, but ignored it and brought you to bed. when you woke up he just started telling bad hoodie jokes, while you looked like a fresh tomato, great.

he would love you even more if you´d laugh at his jokes.

Xiao

you first liked the big hoodie he wears in the winter, it looked comfy and was big on him, therefore bigger on you. you wanted to try it on, but didn´t know how to ask. you did think about asking but was afraid of him reacting badly. so one day, when he wasn´t home, you just took a look into his closet and chose something you would want to wear. you chose this big blue and black, though mostly blue, hoodie since he wears it a lot. and when you put it on you, you fell in love, it was way to big on you, and it smelled exactly like him. but you didn´t really want to take it off just yet, and kept it on for the rest of the day. and then... xiao came home, he didn´t see his hoodie on you immediately, but could sense that something was different. but when he finally noticed, he just blushed a little. kidding he looked like a fresh tomato/very pretty one/and didn´t want to talk to you for a little, but it was fine in the end. and he eventually got over it.

no he´s not cute when blushing, or at least he doesn´t want to admit it.

Albedo

you see, he had this one hoodie he wore all the time/it´s mostly while he´s studying, but he does that a lot/and there was just something about it that you really liked. maybe it was how big it looked on him/meaning bigger on you/or maybe it was only the fact that it's his. soooo... when he was out for a group project, where he couldn´t wear his studying hoodie(yes im gonna call it that)because that wouldn´t be appropriate. so, you just took a little look in his closet, finding his hoodie and put it on. and as you thought it was way to big on you, but it was really comfy. and it also smelled like him, the perfume he uses, mixed with his shampoo. the only problem was just that albedo was coming home early/because he´s a genius, so they finished quickly/and you didn´t know. so when he got home you both got a surprise, you didn´t know he would be coming home early, and he saw you in his hoodie. he wasn´t mad or anything, but he just didn´t know how to react/he thought you looked cute in it though/.

he didn´t know this was what he would be coming home to.

Thank you for reading this thing, luv ya-Masterlist

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: The Best of My Love

————————————————————————-

Summary: A sweet Valentine's Day surprise trip from your boyfriend Joe turns into one of the most important days of your life.

(Part one to - Part 2)

Warnings: pure sickening fluff

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

————————————————————————-

February 13th, 2024

(y/n’s pov)

Waking up on the day before Valentine’s Day alone in bed is never fun, especially when it's just 4 days after Joe and I’s 7th anniversary as a couple. The reason the day before was special was that Joe and I were celebrating today, Joe said he was super busy tomorrow with foundation stuff and we needed to celebrate today.

Joe had already told me last night that he was still going to work out this morning but instead would opt for our home gym. Still, the last thing I'd want to do is bother him.

Spending the alone time wisely, I didn't stay in bed too long and took a relaxing shower. Afterward, I did my normal skincare routine and put some light makeup on.

Once that was finished the next step was slicking my hair back into a tight bun and getting dressed.

As of right now, Joe and I don't have plans to leave the house so I put some leggings on and grabbed my favorite one of Joe’s sweatshirts, and put it on.

It was his pink Nike sweatshirt that was my favorite one ever since I hugged him when he wore it for the first time. It was so soft so I've been stealing it out of his laundry since.

After brushing my teeth and making the bed, I went downstairs to make breakfast.

To my surprise, when I walked into the kitchen there was already a whole spread of breakfast foods on a longboard charcuterie-style.

My heart warmed as I looked at the collection of baked goods, savories, and different juices.

When I picked up a blueberry muffin there was a white envelope underneath it.

I put it down for a second to quickly pour a glass of pink lemonade.

Picking it up to read the front a smile spread on my lips when it said “Joe” with a little heart.

I quickly opened the envelope and pulled the small note card out.

Happy Valentine's, Baby!

I'm probably still working out as you're reading this (gotta have big muscles to fight off guys that hit on you). But anyway… how'd I know that you were going to get a blueberry muffin out of all that food I put out?? I'll tell ya. It's because I know you like the back of my hand. I'm gonna guess right now that you're going to pick strawberry lemonade out of all of the drinks I put out.

This isn't the first little surprise either, I've got lots of things up my sleeves and in my pockets to make today the best Valentine's Day ever.

The best of my love, Joey

The little note had me smiling from ear to ear and I was so deep in a trance that I didn't hear Joe behind me. I jumped when two strong arms wrapped around my waist from behind but the familiar laugh coming from behind put me immediately at ease.

“Startle ya?” - Joe

“My gosh, Joe! Yes!” - you

I turned around in his arms and placed my hands on his chest, looking up into his gorgeous blue eyes.

“Did I guess right?” - Joe smiled

Nodding my head in the direction of my muffin and glass of pink lemonade I grinned as Joe’s cheeks deepened a shade of red.

“You know me so well.” - you

“Well, I hope that I know you a little bit after seven years together.” - Joe laughed

“Seven years is a long time…” - you

“It is, isn't it? Does it ever surprise you that we have lasted this long?” - Joe

“Oh gosh no. You're my best friend, can't live without you. Does it ever surprise you?” - you

“No. The rest of my life is with you.” - Joe grinned

I jokingly scoffed and Joe’s face turned to confusion.

“Not officially, last time I checked my left hand was empty.” - you held your bare left hand in front of his face

Joe’s lips formed a straight line as he glared at me. His facial expression made me giggle before I leaned in to kiss is soft lips.

“I’m kidding, Joe. You know I seriously don't care if and when it happens.” - you

“If?! What do you mean if it happens?! It's sure as hell going to happen, I don't care if it's the last thing I do. Who knows, it might be happening sooner than you think.” - Joe

“You said that last Valentine’s.” - you laughed

“Oh, whatever. I have to go shower but expect another surprise in a few minutes.” - Joe

“Ok…” - you

Joe kissed my cheek and unwrapped his arms from me. I couldn't help but watch him walk away because of how borderline delicious he looked wearing his cut-off Nike top with shorts.

Just as Joe was out of my sight the doorbell rang. Woah he wasn't joking, I thought.

I immediately walked to the door and thanked the delivery man after he handed me the substantial bouquet of beautiful red roses.

There was a vase that was my go-to for when Joe got me flowers but after a quick analysis, I came to the realization that there was no way they would all fit.

After placing them on the counter I was examining the huge arrangement when I realized there was yet again another small white envelope.

What it said was short but so sweet, making my heart swell even more.

For our one-month anniversary a few weeks short of seven years ago, I gave you a singular red rose. Here’s eighty-four roses for every month you've been my girl.

The best of my love, Joe

He must be in a sentimental nostalgic mood this Valentine's because though Joe is secretly a raging romantic, I've never seen him go to such great lengths as this.

When I went to put the card back in its stand, it fell and I realized there was writing on the back as well.

P.S. Go get my card from my wallet, a new nail set on me. There's a surprise waiting for you there, and maybe a few more afterward…

What is this man up to??

I went upstairs, and grabbed Joe’s card before grabbing my purse, putting shoes on, and heading to my favorite nail salon.

When I arrived the front desk lady offered me a warm smile and I sent one right back.

“Miss y/n! We've been expecting you. Go ahead and head back.” - Lady

“I don't have to pick a color?” - you

“Your boyfriend prepicked a color, nail type, and everything. You're all set!” - Lady

“Oh okay! Thanks!” - you

As soon as I walked over to my go-to station I noticed a familiar face already sitting there.

“Aubrey?!” - you

“Hey girl!” - Aubrey jumped up

Aubrey was my roommate at Ohio State and has been my best friend ever since. She had moved to California after college to pursue her career as a doctor.

“What are you doing in Cincinnati?” - you hugged her

“Mmm, a certain someone invited me down here…” - Aubrey smiled

“Joe?” - you smiled, immediately thinking about Joe’s letter on your roses

“Maybe.” - Aubrey smirked

“What is he up to?! Do you know? He's been acting so… romantic today.” - you laughed

“Hard to tell. I don't know what he's up to, but he has a nail request that he's also paying for so let's get down to business.” - Aubrey

——

A couple of hours later I had nice oval French tips and Aubrey got solid sage green coffin nails.

We went up to the counter and I handed the lady Joe’s card. She smiled up at me and gave me a wink.

“Your boy has taste.” - Lady

“That he does.” - you giggled and looked at your nails

She laughed as she handed me the card back but she held up a finger telling me to wait. I watched the woman reach under the counter to retrieve yet another white envelope.

When she handed it to me I couldn't help but gasp and quickly rip it open to see what was inside. It was a note and read…

Go down to Kroger with Aubs and get your favorite road trip snacks… you'll need it. ;)

I hope you like your nails, I tried my best to explain what I wanted.

The best of my love, Joe.

Aubrey was reading the note along with me over my shoulder and when we were both done we looked at each other with wide eyes.

You didn't know of course, but Aubrey has known Joe’s plan for weeks so she knew this was happening.

“Aubrey what the heck is he doing?! - you

She just shrugged so I thanked the front desk lady and practically sprinted to the car with Aubrey.

“I’m so confused.” - you

“I know just as much as you, let's get to the store to get your snacks though.” - Aubrey

——

I tried to make the Kroger trip as quick as possible because all I wanted was to get back home to Joe and find out what was going on.

Aubrey asked me to drop her off at the hotel she was staying at since she got an Uber to the nail salon.

After dropping her off, I headed straight for home.

“Joe!” - you called out as you made it through the front door

“Upstairs!” - Joe

I practically ran up the stairs and into our bedroom.

When I did, my heart stopped when my eyes scanned the room.

There were probably over 30 heart-shaped balloons that had floated up to the ceiling and multiple huge bags sitting on our made bed.

Joe was standing to the side of the room looking incredibly cute in his usual sweatpants and t-shirt combo while he wore a bashful grin.

“What is all of this?” - you

“Just another step in my master plan of putting this year's Valentine's Day down in history.” - Joe

I walked up to him and immediately pulled him into my embrace, my head on his built chest as we rubbed each other's backs.

“What are you up to Mr?” - you smiled

“You’ll see. Open your gifts!” - Joe grinned

Walking over to sit on the bench in front of the bed, Joe handed me the first gift bag.

We grinned at each other as I pulled the tissue paper out of the bag. It revealed a shoe box that said “UGG” and I immediately gasped.

They were the Tasman’s that I had been wanting for a while. I had briefly mentioned them when another WAG had them on and I complimented them, turns out Joe was paying attention.

“Thank you! They're so cute.” - you

“You’ll be needing them later today, you know something comfy. And speaking of comfy…” - Joe handed you another bag

I removed the tissue paper and a cute sweat set was revealed.

“Pastel orange, Joe?” - you giggled

“Orange looks good on you!” - Joe

“You’ve said that multiple times, honey.” - you

Joe just smiled at me and took the empty bags off the bed to put them in a pile by the door. He also grabbed the UGG box and sweat set to neatly stack them on the bench in front of the bed.

“Why are you waiting? Open your last gifts, baby!” - Joe

“I’m waiting for you Mr. to tell me which one to open!” - you

“This one.” - Joe grabbed a bag and handed it to you

I reached down into the bag and my fingertips brushed against a smaller box. Giving Joe a skeptical look, he returned my look with a sweet smile.

When I finally looked down inside my heart stopped when I noticed the familiar Cartier packaging.

“Joe… what did you do? This was probably so expensive.” - you

“Stop that, I love spending my money to spoil you. You know that. Just open it.” - Joe

His gaze was convincing so I took the box into my hands and flicked the lid off.

They were the most gorgeous earrings I'd ever seen. The White Gold, Diamond LOVE earrings.

“Joe… they're beautiful.” - you

“Yeah? Do you like ‘em? They're the matching earrings to the bracelet I got you for Christmas. I've had ‘em since them but I didn't give them to you at the same time to avoid ‘you spend too much on me’ speech.” - Joe

“If you keep it up with the white gold and diamonds Imma be more shiesty than you.” - you giggled

“That’s 100% my plan. Gotta keep my girl iced out.” - Joe grinned

I walked forward and immediately wrapped my arms around my boyfriend.

“I love you so much. Thank you so much for everything.” - you kissed his lips

“Aye not so fast. You've got one more gift.” - Joe

Joe unwrapped one of his arms from my waist and reached into the final gift bag. He pulled out a white envelope and smiled brightly when he handed it to me.

“Saved the best for last.” - Joe

“Better than those earrings?! Did you get me a puppy??” - you

“No! No puppy.” - Joe laughed

I backed away from him to open it and my mouth dropped open when I pulled out two plane tickets.

“Where are we going??” - you

“Read the tickets.” - Joe

My eyes frantically searched the tickets and I slapped Joe’s arm out of pure excitment when the destination of my dream getaway was printed on the sheet of paper.

“Shut up! I’m going to Portofino?!” - you yelled

“You’re going to Portofino, Italy!” - Joe

I practically lept at Joe and wrapped my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck.

“Thank you! Thank you!” - you yelled into his neck

A thought popped into my mind that made my heart sink and I pulled away from Joe’s neck to confirm or deny my disappointing thought.

“Wait… you're going with me, right?” - you

“Yes, baby. I'm going with you.” - Joe laughed

“Yay! My dream vacay with my favorite person ever.” - you smiled

“Are you excited?” - Joe

“Am I excited?! Joe, I'm ecstatic! I've been dreaming about going there since I was in high school. I can't wait to mark this one off my bucket list… especially with you.” - you

“Good. I'm happy to be there with you.” - Joe

——

“Do you have everything packed??” - Joe

“Yup!” - you

I rolled my suitcase out of the closet and into our bedroom where Joe was sitting on the bed waiting.

“I was going to pack everything for you… but I realized I can't pack everything you need, cause I have no idea.” - Joe

Laughing at him as I wheeled the suitcase to him, I quickly came up with a response.

“You can't pack it but you can use those muscles to carry it to the car.” - you winked

Joe grinned as he flexed his arms, I had to hype him up and it never failed to surprise me with how deep the blush went.

He left the room shortly after to take my suitcase down to the car and I did a final walkthrough of the house to make sure all lights were off, we had everything we needed, and nothing was left running.

When I finally got outside the site of Joe headbanging slowly while biting his lip through the front glass of the car made me internally giggle as I rounded the side and plopped in the front passenger seat.

“Do we have to listen to Kid Cudi?” - you

“I thought you liked him?” - Joe

“I do. But we listen to him all of the time.” - you

“Fine. You pick.” - Joe sighed and handed you his phone to play a song on Spotify.

Naturally, I pulled up my go-to playlist and shuffled it. The first song that played was Nat King Cole’s “L-0-V-E”.

I of course was yelling along the lyrics while Joe just shook his head with a playful grin.

“This song is boring.” - Joe

“You think so? It reminds me of us.” - you

“Why? Because it's boring? Are you calling us boring?” - Joe

“No, you goofball. Because it says ‘love was made for me and you’ and I think that it was.” - you

“I think it was too.” - Joe grinned and laced your fingers with his

——

“Was that whole playlist just old love songs? Or are you in a vintage gushy mood?” - Joe

I thought back to the songs that had played previously…

Can’t Take My Eyes off You by Frankie Valli, Everybody Loves Somebody by Dean Martin, Everlasting Love by Natalie Cole…

“Uhm… yes.” - you

“Yes, to which one, baby?” - Joe laughed

“Both!” - you

“Did I put you In a gushy love song mood?” - Joe

“Yeah… maybe you did. You've been so romantic today.” - you

Joe grinned at me while he squeezed my hand and the next time we were at a red light he leaned over to kiss me.

“I have a feeling that every trip we take from here on out isn't going to top this.” - Joe

“I already know they're not! I'm so excited. Thank you so much, Joe.” - you

“You’re so welcome, but just wait till you see what I have planned throughout the trip.” - Joe

“Ok, I still can't believe you planned a whole International trip with your homebody ways, Joseph Lee.” - you

“I didn't do it by myself. I got help from a lot of people. My mom helped, Aubrey, some guys on the team, your parents, and maybe or maybe not the team’s travel advisor.” - Joe

“Baby, that's so sweet.” - you

“It needs to be perfect…” - Joe sighed

“I think it will be. Can I ask you something?” - you

“Yup.” - Joe

“Why’d you get my nails done?” - you

“Uhm… because we're probably going to take pictures and you had said multiple times your old set was busted. Thought you might want to get new ones.” - Joe

I reached over and put my hand on Joe’s arm, lightly scratching his skin with my nails while I smiled brightly at him.

“I love you.” - you

“I love you too, babe.” - Joe

——

We arrived at the airport and to my confusion someone was there to escort us. The tall male with a bodyguard build led us through an area adjacent from the regular airport and before I knew it Joe and I were standing in front of a jet.

“What did you do?!” - you

“Wanna fly in a private jet?” - Joe grinned

After we handed our bags and suitcases to part of the crew, I was standing there astounded so Joe took my hand and guided me up the steps.

“This is incredible… how much did this cost to fly us there?” - you frowned slightly

“My love, money is not something we have to worry about.” - Joe winked with a cocky grin on his lips

I had changed into my sweat set, UGGs, and put my new earrings in before we left the house and I swore sometimes I would catch Joe’s eyes lingering to the substantial diamonds on my ears.

Eventually, we made it inside the jet and it was even nicer inside than it was outside. The lighting was warm and the leather seats were astonishing.

“You like it?” - Joe

“I love it, and I love you.” - you pecked Joe’s cheek

Joe put a hand on the small of my back and gently moved me in the direction of a chair.

After sitting down, Joe took his spot across from me, a table in between us and I propped my feet up on his lap.

He slipped my UGGs off and gently put them on the floor before he started massaging my feet.

It was the little things that Joe did that made me praise him for being the best boyfriend ever, and he never failed to hold himself to that title.

“You comfy?” - Joe

“Very.” - you smiled

“We have a long ride ahead of us so hopefully we can take a nap at some point.” - Joe

I nodded and the flight attendant walked over to us to explain a few things. Due to the fact Joe is an avid hater of PDA I was expecting Joe to drop my foot when she walked over, but he didn't. He listened to her intently as he continued rubbing small comforting circles on my foot.

Joe had a few questions about the lunch and dinner menu but eventually, she walked away.

“You have absolutely spoiled me today, I don't know how it can get much better.” - you

“Just you wait.” - Joe winked

——

February 14th, 2024 - *Actual* Valentine's Day

When we finally arrived in Portofino it was early morning the next day, Joe and I were pretty exhausted.

Despite being jet-lagged and tired, the drive to the Airbnb was absolutely beautiful.

The different colored buildings and the water were some of the most breathtaking sites I'd ever laid eyes on. I had to look back at Joe who was sitting next to me in the back of the car just to verify he could see it too.

“It's beautiful…” - you

“It is, isn't it?” - Joe smiled

He was so in love with you, so obsessed with pleasing you that he’d do anything just to see that twinkle in your eye when you see something you love. When you looked back at him he saw that twinkle and he hoped that it wasn't just coming from the gorgeous surroundings, but also because of him.

You were still looking out of the car window but suddenly he felt a hand on his thigh. When he looked down he saw your fingers making grabby motions and when he laced his fingers with yours, they were at ease. Even with the view in front of you, you still reached for him behind.

The Airbnb was even more breathtaking. Joe, in the most broken Italian accent I'd ever heard, told me it was called the Baia degli Ulivi.

It was a pretty pink color with forest green shutters and a beautiful balcony view.

Joe and I sat our bags down when we got inside because he said he wanted to show me around.

I could tell that Joe was proud of himself for picking such a ravishing place for us to stay.

He was so adorable as he walked around the house and pointed out little things he liked on the Airbnb app when he looked at pictures.

My favorite part was when he was super proud to show me the bathroom because…

“It has a fucking bidet!” - Joe pointed

He was looking equal parts intrigued and proud but I couldn't help but bust out laughing at his exclamation.

“There’s my goofy boy. You've been so romantic the past two days that I've kinda missed the goober side of you.” - you

“Trust me, it’s never gone sometimes it just gets overpowered by another side of me.” - Joe grinned

“C’mon Joey, let’s go take a nap.” - you

——

A few hours later, meaning like six, we woke up at one o'clock and decided to venture out of the house.

Joe had an itinerary on his phone that he pulled up while we were still lying in bed cuddling.

“Wanna go to a castle?” - Joe

“A Castle?! Yes!” - you

“Okay, we can get dressed and go to the Castello Brown before we head to lunch.” - Joe

“Is that the name of it?” - you

“Mhm.” - Joe nodded

“I can't believe I'm here with you right now. This is my dream come true, Joe. Thank you for everything, you're the best boyfriend a girl could ask for.” - you

“I love you.” - Joe kissed your forehead

——

Soon we were walking through the castle grounds hand in hand.

There was this one particular painting that I walked away from Joe to take a picture of, and when I turned around I was met with the sight of Joe holding his phone up taking a picture of me. He never fails to make me feel like the most loved woman on that planet.

We continued walking to the top where there was a beautiful view of the water. Our hands were laced together as I laid my head on Joe’s shoulder, and he laid his against mine.

The moment was amazing, everything just felt so surreal and magical. After everything Joe went through with football last season and all of the obstacles we've faced, it felt like they all disappeared.

I was so focused on Joe and the view that I flinched when there was a tap on my shoulder. When I turned around it was an older woman and what seemed to be her husband standing next to her.

“Sorry to bother but you two are just so adorable and remind me of my husband and I when we were young. I took a nice picture of you guys, do you want it?” - Lady

She showed Joe and me the picture and we both looked at each other with a large grin. You could see the love radiating off of us.

“Yes! Here I'll give you my number. I'm y/n and this is my boyfriend Joe.” - you smiled

“I’m Linda and this is my husband Ben. How long have you guys been together?” - Linda

“Seven years.” - you answered

“Wow, that's a long time! We've been together for 35. We got together as 15-year-olds in high school.” - Linda

“That’s so sweet. What are you guys doing in Italy?” - you

“Revisiting the place we got engaged for Valentine's Day. What about you two young’un’s?” - Linda

“Aww. This is my dream vacation place so Joe surprised me for Valentine’s Day.” - you

“That’s a good man you have.” - Ben nodded

“I know. He's my best friend.” - you grinned at Joe

We talked to Linda and Ben for a little longer before I offered to take a picture of them just like Linda had done with me and Joe.

They agreed and posed with smiles plastered on their faces.

Linda and I exchanged pictures before we parted ways and Joe and I went to lunch.

It was a place that Joe again attempted to pronounce, named Trattoria Tripoli.

“It has 4.5 stars.” - Joe

That boy really did do some research.

While we were sitting and waiting for our food Joe made a little ring out of the straw paper and slid it onto my ring finger. It was a gesture he'd done for a long time almost at every restaurant we go to, but this time it felt different. More butterflies set off in my stomach than normal.

——

We spent the rest of the evening and afternoon at the Airbnb watching movies on the couch since it had been such a long day.

At around seven I told Joe I was getting in the shower and that he was welcome to join me but he passed on the offer and said he wanted to start unpacking instead.

The shower was amazing and the many different settings had me making a mental note to buy a new showerhead for the house.

After stepping out I wrapped a towel around my body and put my hair up in another one before leaving the bathroom to get a comfy outfit.

I was confused when I stepped into the bedroom and Joe wasn't there, his suitcase was still zipped up and hadn't moved spots since we had gotten here.

“Joey?” - you yelled

My eyes scanned the room one more time and paused on the bed.

There was a beautiful dress I couldn't recognize as one from my closet and on top of it was a white envelope.

I immediately grabbed it and ripped it open.

Put this on and meet me on the balcony, the final surprise of the night. (but not of the trip)

The best of my love, Joe.

Asking myself the question I've been asking myself for 48 hours straight once again, what is he up to?

A while later I had the dress slipped on, my hair fixed, and very light makeup on.

There were nervous butterflies in my stomach because I had no idea what Joe was going to do.

I took a final deep breath before I walked out of the bedroom and out to where the balcony doors were in the living room.

When I stepped outside my heart stopped.

The instrumental version of Turning Page started playing (specifically at the time stamp 1:40) and Joe stood at the end of an Isle lined with candles and rose petals. He was wearing a dark grey button-down shirt with dark-washed jeans and dress shoes.

“Joe… what are you doing?” - your eyes filled with tears

“C’mere, baby.” - Joe smiled

I slowly walked to Joe who was nervously rubbing his sweaty palms on the front of his pants.

Joe took my hands in his and took in a deep nervous shaky breath.

“y/n y/l/n, for as long as I can remember I've wished for a princess to be the woman next to me. When I was younger every wish I made on an eyelash, dandelion, shooting star, or birthday candle, was about love. You filled that void. I remember the first time I laid eyes on you back at Ohio State, I was so infatuated with you but I knew there was no way I would be able to get an actual goddess to get out with me.” - Joe

He paused to laugh with me while I wiped my tears until he forged ahead.

“I was so surprised that my embarrassingly awful tries at flirting with you worked. I didn't need tutoring that much by the way, I just really wanted to be with you any chance I got. It seriously didn't matter to me if I was at your dorm studying till two with an eight AM practice the next morning if it meant I was spending time with you. You've been the one consistent thing in my life since then that I know will always be with me through anything. y/n, you're the princess that I've been asking for my whole life. The most gorgeous, humble, kind, selfless princess there ever was. You understand me on a level that no one else is even capable of doing and there isn't a life that I picture for myself without you in it. I'll love you when we're old farts with dentures, stealing kisses at the family get-togethers to freak our grandkids out because I know the rest of my living is with you. y/n, your love is my turning page.” - Joe

Both Joe and I giggled at his use of a line from the song that was currently playing before he dropped one of my hands to help wipe the steady flow of tears falling from my eyes.

“That being said…” - Joe

Joe paused and let go of my hands. My crying only got harder when he dropped down onto one knee and pulled the light blue Tiffany box out of his pocket. He flicked the box open and the gorgeous diamond ring only made me cry harder.

“Will you marry me?” - Joe looked up hopefully into your eyes

My hands covered my face for a second just because of how surreal this moment was.

“Yes! Of course, I'll marry you, Joe.” - your cried

Joe lept up and immediately wrapped his arms around me.

I wrapped my arms around him as he picked me up and spun me around.

When Joe finally sat me down he slipped the ring onto my finger and grabbed the back of my neck to kiss me.

Out of all the kisses we've had over seven years, this one was my favorite.

“I love you so much.” - Joe hugged you tight

“I love you too.” - you

——

We were both back in bed now that things had died down, but we were both bubbling with excitement.

“You’re my fiance.” - you smiled at Joe

“We’re getting married.” - Joe grinned

“You say that like you didn't think we ever would.” - You

“No, I knew we would. It's just official now. I'm so glad I finally did it.” - Joe

“Me too, baby. Me too.” - you smiled

I cuddled into Joe’s chest more and found myself nuzzled into his neck.

“Do you like the ring?” - Joe

“I love the ring. It's like exactly what I had pictured. You're really good at picking things out for me, Joe.” - you

“I have never put so much thought into anything else in my entire life. It took me weeks to find the one I wanted to get for you because it had to be perfect.” - Joe

“You seriously did an amazing job. We need to talk about some things though.” - you

“Like what?” - Joe

“When and how we're going to tell people, if we're going to make it public…” - you

“Shhh. We can worry about that when we're in Ohio. Right now I just want to be with my gorgeous fiance, eat dinner, and go to pound town later.” - Joe

I giggled and wrapped myself around Joe, grateful to have such an amazing man in my life who would soon be my husband.

————————————————————————-

Author’s note: on the ninth day of Christmas I gave you all the fluffiest fic ever. (part two with smut is coming guys don't worry)

Request for this fic;

[thegainingdesk]

The Spider to the Fly

Statement of Oliver Barrett, dated 22/05/2023

The rent should have been the first red flag, I know that, but fuck me, have you seen the rents in Dublin these days? Worst than fucking London, if you can believe it. And there's this guy, right, four-story townhouse, twenty minute walk from my new job, says he just wants a tenant to make this place feel less empty, all for a grand a month, bills included. In this market! Too fucking right I didn't question it.

Well, I say a grand a month. One thousand euro and one cent, to be exact. The cent didn't bother me at the time, why the fuck would it? The man wants to add a cent to the rent, I'll give him a cent. Maybe it was to get over some threshold for something, or some tax dodge, or whatever, I didn't know and I didn't care. It was still €999.99 less than I'd be paying anywhere else in Dublin for some damn sight nicer digs. Now though, knowing what I know, after everything that… well, anyway, it bothers me more now. It feels significant. Like those old penny rents you hear about, or something. Something symbolic, and old.

But anyway, there was a cheap room going, in a good location, a good house, it was bloody better than anywhere else I've come across, and I was only in Dublin for a weekend before I properly moved to get everything sorted, so I didn't ask too many questions. So I go to this house, and it was gorgeous. We're talking Edwardian or Georgian or, I don't know, fancy. Some Upstairs Downstairs shit, like there were servants quarters and a coal cellar and whatever a scullery is. I didn't really think about it at the time - again, I'm not really in a position to ask questions - but you usually see houses like that in a row, right? Like terraced? This one was just there. On its own. On a nice street, don't get me wrong, but it was taller than any of the other houses, set back a little, and the style's all wrong. Maybe I thought the rest of the street had gotten destroyed in the Blitz or whatever they had in Dublin, it's not like I know anything about history outside of naming a couple of Henry the eighth's wives.

So I walked up to this great big, not quite right house, and I pulled this rope by the door and it fucking clanged. This wasn't some little ding dong electric doorbell, this was some fucking machinery. It felt like the house was vibrating from it. And while I'm reeling, this Victorian era sonic torture device still going off in my ears, the door swung open, too fast really, faster than you'd expect someone to get to the door, even if they were by it.

I don't know who I was expecting but this guy was hot. Like, something else. I'm talking movie star hot. Fuck, maybe he was a movie star, there's so many movies these days, right? He could have an Oscar for all I know, maybe that's how he could afford the house. I'm looking up at him, checking him out, and I don't have to look up at many people but this guy is real fucking tall, six-six maybe? And rail thin, but in a way that he makes work, he wasn't gaunt or anything just… angular. He had this jet black hair and his eyes were somehow even darker - at the time I probably would have said they were like ink or the night sky or something sappy, but looking back all I can think of is how shark's eyes look. I don't know, maybe that's just me projecting stuff after… well you know, after what happened. And he's just stood there, completely still, but, fuck, I really don't know if I can explain how fucking still this guy was. And that's not me looking back after the fact, at the time I was a bit creeped out. It was like looking at an optical illusion or something, like my eyes couldn't put together this guy that I'd just seen open a door in double-speed with how fucking still he was now. It was like someone had pasted a photo into the middle of my vision. And even though he was so fucking still, there was this, I don't know, this tension to him, like I could just see some energy there, ready to… fuck, I don't know, pounce. Like a tiger or… well, like a… but that's for later I guess.

Anyway, I'm checking this guy out, because he was sort of giving me the creeps, sure, but he was also fucking hot, and suddenly he wasn't so still anymore, and he’s looking me up and down and he's smiling and I'm starting to feel like this guy's checking me out right back. I don't know if you're gay, but there's this look, right, every gay guy knows it, this discrete little up and down, maybe with a little smirk and it just says, you know, "I'm gay, you're gay, let's fuck sometime". Now, I've had my share of guys in the past, I'm not about to be humble about it, I know that I'm hot myself, or, well I guess, you know, back then… but you know, I really was a great looking guy. Square fucking jaw, little dimple right in the middle of my chin, real broad shoulders, you know, I've always played rugby, and you could tell, because I had some decent fucking muscle on me, still do, probably, somewhere under all this fucking… whatever. The point is that I've had guys lining up for a chance to bounce on my dick, so I wasn't exactly shocked when guys checked me out but this guy, I mean, he was out of my league, you know? Out of everyone's league. It's insane to think guys that look like that would check anyone out.

So I was feeling sort of cocky, like maybe I could get more than a room out of this deal. And I know, don't shit where you eat, and definitely don't fuck your landlord, but fuck me this guy was hot, right? I couldn't pass up on this. And everyone in the fucking city's probably going for the room, it's not like I was likely to get it anyway, not with an advert that attractive. Sorry, what's that? Where did I see the advert? No, sorry, I can't quite… No, no, I don't think it was on a website, maybe a… Listen, I don't fucking remember, okay?

Anyway, so this guy smiled and he stepped back, and with his long legs he was all of a sudden right back in the shadows, and he let me in and the door closed behind me and all of a sudden it's just so dark. And I sort of stumbled around and I hear his voice, somewhere off down the corridor, and he said, and I remember this, because it's the first time I heard his voice, all soft and whispery, like I'm imagining it more than I'm hearing it, and there's this light, coming down the corridor from some door, but it's not like the hallway gets any brighter, it's just this beam of light for me to walk to. And he said, right, he says "Why don't you come into the parlour?" I remember that, exactly, because who the fuck says parlour, but it's in my head too, like it echoes in there. Anyway, so I walk towards this light, but it feels, I don't know, like I'm pushing through something, like- fuck, sorry, can we stop for a minute, I just need-

[Archivist's note: the recording was paused here at the subject's request. The subject was provided with a cup of tea and a member of the museum staff brought some food. After around five minutes, the subject was happy to continue the interview.]

Sorry, it's just, that's sort of where it feels like it all started. Walking through that hallway towards that voice and that light and that… that parlour. I'm not sure I really even remember what happened next. We spoke, for a while, the house rules and stuff I guess, when rent was due. I don't even remember agreeing to taking the room, it was just assumed. He certainly didn't give me a tour. He didn't even tell me his name, I don't think, not then anyway.

The next thing I knew I was back blinking in bright daylight, disorientated to be out of the dark and out of the warm, heady air of my new home. I flew back to London the next day, and spent the next few weeks preparing for my move. I received a contract in the post and found out my landlord's name - Damhán Alla. The contract was short, and was lacking a lot of the details I was expecting - nothing about a deposit, no bank details to transfer money to, none of the usual stuff. And what was there was odd - the contract was for one year and one day, no naked flames, the basement was out of bounds, I wasn't allowed to use certain spices or cleaning products, and I specifically wasn't allowed to do the hoovering myself. But like I said, if he wanted to run a tax dodge or whatever it was by renting me a cheap room, and if he was a little particular about his cleaning, or he's got some allergies, I was happy to help him out.

I turned up with all my worldly possessions in a few bulky bags - I'd either sold a lot of my stuff or sent it to my parents for storage, there was no realistic way I could haul much of anything to Ireland. My new landlord opened the door and was once again eye-achingly still for a moment or two, and then suddenly he's all charm, welcoming me in, taking my bags from me once I'm over the threshold, asking me how the journey was, if I wanted something to eat or drink.

I stuck my hand out. "It's Damhán, right?" I said. "I don't think we actually exchanged names last time." Thinking back, I don't even know how he knew my name and address to send me the contract.

His laugh was soft, but with a cruelty hiding somewhere deep in it. There was another sound there too, coming from his throat; a clicking maybe, or bubbling, and a hissing behind that. "Damhán," he corrected my pronunciation. "Not 'Damn-ham'."

"Down," I tried again. He shook his head and repeated it, slowly. "Dow-un," I said, doing my best to replicate him. He shrugged and gave a small nod - it would do, obviously.

I had the attic room - a whole floor really. In contrast to the rest of the house it was light and airy, with large windows and modern furniture. It had an en suite, a little kitchenette, even my own sitting area. I never needed to use the rest of the house if I didn't want to, but Damhán assured me from the shadows of the stairwell that I had the run of it, reminding me once again about the contract's stipulation not to go into the basement.

I got the full tour. The house was huge - I mean huge, you know. Bigger than it looked from the street, it must have just gone back and back. Loads of empty rooms, which makes sense, I guess; what are you supposed to fill that much space with? I remember at the time asking where his bedroom was, you know, just so I'm not stepping on his toes, and him avoiding the question. Thinking back I don't think I ever did figure that out. And the whole house was dark, curtains drawn in every room, hardly any lights. And cobwebs absolutely everywhere. And these cobwebs weren't dainty little strands, you know, they were thick. I'd occasionally walk through one and actually get stuck for a second or two. I remember thinking that if I had enough money to afford a house like that I'd hire a cleaner to come in a couple of times a week, but rich people are weird, right?

We made our way through the dark to the kitchen - me stumbling, my new landlord silent - where he started pulling out pots and pans to cook me lunch. I can't remember if I'd mentioned being hungry, but I suppose I must have been, anyway, after so long traveling.

Once he was set up, he led me through to the parlour where we spoke that first time, and told me to sit down. He left and I could hear him cooking in the kitchen.

He came back in after a while and placed a plate filled with bacon sandwiches in front of me. The bread was thickly sliced and freshly baked, the fat on the bacon was still sizzling slightly, and I could smell the butter before it was even close. There must have been three or four of them on the plate, each one piled with bacon and far too much for me to eat in one sitting usually. I remember salivating and licking my lips. Damhán licked his lips as well, and watched me tuck in.

Damhán wasn't much of a talker, I quickly learned, but he liked my company at meal times. Whenever I did try talking to him, he'd always end up laughing - with that hissing, bubbling, clicking sound beneath it. I learnt after a while to not make him laugh. He'd not eat with me, he'd just… watch me. Each breakfast and dinner time, and lunch on weekends, he'd call me into the parlour, place a pile of food in front of me and watch me eat it all. Always huge portions, always rich and fatty, always fucking incredible. Some of the best food I'd ever eaten, honestly. Every time I'd think, I'm never finishing that, y’know, always a proper pile of food, and then I'd take that first bite and… Look, it did taste amazing, it did, and I'm sure that was a part of it, but really… I don't know. I just ate. Like I entered a trance, or I was sleepwalking, or… I don't know, okay? All I know is he'd put food in front of me and watch me eat and then it was like, I don't know, like I knew I was eating but I didn't feel it. Like someone else was eating and I was watching them as well.

I started snacking at work as well. I've never been much of a snacker, got to watch my figure you know. Ha! And you can see for yourself how that turned out. But all of a sudden I'm just hungry all the time, I'm stashing chocolate and biscuits in my desk and in my coat, and all day I'm just mindlessly eating and- no, no, not like when he was watching, not that kind of mindless, just, you know, I didn’t ever think about it, it was just, I don't know, habit or instinct or automatic or whatever.

I didn't notice at first. The weight gain, I mean. God, I mean I must have noticed it, but I didn't notice it, you know? Like I could see it happening, I could see myself getting doughy and could see my gut puffing up and how my clothes weren't fitting right, but it's not like. I don't know. I thought with the move and the new job and living in a new country, it was just stress. Like, my weight goes up and down sometimes, this was just an up, there was nothing to notice.

But it kept on going up. And up. And at some point I'm bigger than I've ever been and my clothes aren't just fitting weird or too small, they're tight. Like, couple of sizes, bursting out, buttons not closing tight. I don't know what everyone at work thought. God, I must have been obscene. Actually, I think I, yeah, give me a moment, I've got a picture from around then, some work drinks thing… ah, yeah, here you go.

[Archivist’s note: the subject here showed a picture of himself in a small crowd, at a bar or similar. The subject looks to be around 250 lbs and wearing clothes several sizes too small, with skin showing where his shirt has ridden up, and shirt and trousers showing clear signs of the fabric straining. This picture, along with several others the subject has provided of themselves during their time in Ireland, can be found in the supplemental materials attached to this statement.]

I still didn't see it though. Like, you can see what I looked like, and, I mean, god those trousers! They must have killed, you know? And I can remember how painful they were to wear, remember noticing my body getting bigger, but my brain, I don’t know, just didn’t make the connection that I was actually getting fatter.

It was fast. Really fast. There was this woman in the office, Sarah, right, and she was maybe six months pregnant when I started. Well, obviously, couple of months later she's going on maternity and I looked over at her and I think its the first time I clocked how big I was getting because I realised my belly was bigger than hers. Even accounting for, you know, different heights and builds and stuff, my gut still looked bigger on my frame. One day just before she was due, she mentioned she's put on over two stone, and I remember people saying how much that is. I get home and I weighed myself for the first time since London. I was eighteen and a half stone. I'd put on about five stone since moving. I literally put on more than twice as much as a pregnant woman, and I did it in only a few months. That's mad, right? After that I tried to pay a bit more attention to my weight, step on some scales occasionally, but like I say, it was difficult. My brain just couldn't focus on the idea.

At some point in all of this, some point before I realised I put on more than Sarah I mean, Damhán one day just appeared in the parlour while I was eating some, I don't know, mound of potatoes and meat, and he just put this pile of clothes next to me. Didn't say a word, no mention of how it's because I'm bursting out of my own clothes or where they've come from, just puts them next to me then stands back to watch me eat.

I tried them on later and they fit perfectly. Well, I mean. They fit, anyway. I think I was so used to my clothes cutting in everywhere by that point that anything that was actually reasonably my size felt like it was tailor-made. They must have been expensive though. Real wool suits, tweed trousers. Not really my style, you know, bit old fashioned, but I couldn't deny they looked good, and by that point I was just happy I had something where I could get all the buttons to close.

I remember one time, not too long after, I think I was a bit over twenty stone at that point. I’d come back from the pub - I started drinking a lot, during it all. I think on some level I recognised how fucked up it all was and was just trying to… I dont know. Numb myself. Get out of the house. Whatever. I came back, took off my coat and shoes and whatever, get upstairs and collapsed. The next morning I had this hangover from hell, but at least I knew Damhán’s going to have sorted a slap up breakfast to help me through it. So I went downstairs and… god, sorry, it's just… right, no, I'm fine, I'm fine, I just need…

[Archivist's note: The recording was once again paused here, and the subject was given some cake and biscuits while he became settled.]

Sorry, where was I? Right. I went downstairs and he’s standing in the hallway with his palm outstretched. Completely still, like he's been there hours, just waiting for me to come down. He had a lighter in his hand - I must have nabbed it off someone in the smoking area, you know how it is on a night out, you just sort of pick these things up, don’t you? Anyway he’s stood there with this fucking lighter in his hand, just staring and staring at me as I come down the stairs, and he said “Your contract said no lighters”. That's it. No “good morning” or “how's the head” or whatever. “Your contract said no lighters.”

And I said, you know, sorry, won't happen again, few too many last night, as you do. And he doesn't move. Just stood there with his lighter and he just repeated himself, louder: “No lighters, no naked flames.” And I realise, this guy’s angry. Really, properly, fucking livid. He was almost shaking with it, you could hear it in his voice. His face wasn't really showing it, not really, a little bit around his mouth maybe, but his eyes were… fuck they were blank. This guy was furious about this lighter, probably waited for hours for me to wake up, and his eyes were just blank.

So I'm there realising just how badly I've fucked up, that he must have some phobia or something. I’d seen all the hobs and whatever were induction whatsits, but I'd not really thought about it until then, just thought, I don't know, fuck, that they were just induction hobs, didn't think to care. I started to apologise again, told him I understood. I don't know if he heard me. He just went on and on about lighters and fire, getting louder and louder all the time, until suddenly he just stops and turns around and walks away down the hall.

For a second he stopped outside the door to the basement and put his hand on the knob and turned to look at me. It was like he was sizing me up, looking me up and down. Clearly he decided against whatever he was planning because he carried on to the kitchen and just snapped at me to go sit in the parlour. I remember that moment really clearly. And to say it now, it's nothing, right? He went to open a door. Decided against it. But… fuck me, it felt important at the time. Like my whole life depended on whether or not he opened that door. Maybe it did.

Fifteen minutes later he walked in and just put two big frying pans down in front of me, one piled up with bacon, one filled with eggs and sausages. He walks away and comes back with a loaf of bread and a couple of packs of butter and throws those at me and says “eat”.

And there was a part of me that, you know, obviously wanted to ask about the deconstructed breakfast sandwich I've just been served, and a part of me that was just absolutely boggling at how much food there was, but then there was… I mean the biggest part of me, the bit that wins out, just says to eat.

So I ate. I reached out and I grabbed some bacon with my bare hands out of the frying pan and I just shoveled it in my mouth, and just carried on until it was all gone, all the while with Damhán stood watching. Then the eggs and sausages, just with my hands, you know, with the yolk just, fuck, just dribbling down my arms. When that was all gone I started taking bites out of the bread. Didn't slice it, didn't butter it, just ate until it was gone. Then Damhán just carried on watching me and I… I got that feeling. Like I was in a trance and the only thing I knew is that I had to eat. So I bit into the butter. Just took a great big bite out of it. And another, and another. Fuck me, I ate it like it was chocolate. And I was screaming at myself to stop, right? Obviously I didn't want to be eating butter by the block. But he didn't force me, or threaten me, or whatever, didn't even tell me to. I ate it. I did that. Me. And he just watched.

Once I was done he walked out and left me alone. I won't lie, I cried. Pretty fucking hard. My stomach hurt, I was covered in butter and grease and egg. I felt huge - I was huge. And I just felt so ashamed.

After that it all picked up pace. He never mentioned that day again, but meals got bigger. A lot bigger. Each one could have fed a rugby team. Occasionally he'd just put a block of butter on the side, like it was a fucking dessert or something. I always ate it. He never told me to. I just knew what I was supposed to do.

And I started swelling up. I was gaining fast beforehand, but this was, fuck me, I reckon it must have been over a pound a day, maybe two. Must have been, honestly, considering how fast it all was and how big I am now. Clothes just seemed constantly uncomfortable; even straight after he'd given me bigger ones, they'd not quite fit right. My back hurt all the time from hefting around this gut, my feet hurt, I got these stretch marks fucking everywhere. It was just a lot, all the time, and my body never got a chance to adjust.

It was around Christmas, I must have been, maybe twenty-six, twenty-seven stone - who knows honestly, it all went by so fast. I went to my work’s Christmas do. Fuck knows what they must have all thought of me - can you imagine? They hire me at thirteen, fourteen stone, and not even a year later I'm pushing double that and not showing any signs of stopping?

Anyway, the Christmas do. I'm wearing the biggest Christmas jumper that I could find in M&S, and even that's, you know, riding up on me, fits me like a sausage casing. People are being friendly, nicer than I'd be if I was watching someone inflate in front of me in real time, if I'm being honest. No jokes or anything; not to my face anyway. And someone asks if I'm going home for Christmas, and I say no, I'm staying in Dublin. They ask, you know, very reasonable questions; am I not seeing family, my friends back in London? And I couldn't answer them. I had no clue why I wasn't going back home.

Eventually someone asks will I be doing anything with my housemates. I said it's just me and the landlord, so they get to asking about him, you know, what's he like, is he alright, do I get on with him. And at some point I mention his name and a couple of people give me funny looks, one woman laughs at me. I assume I've just said it funny, you know how Irish names are. And someone tells me that Damhán Alla means spider in Irish. I sort of laugh and say I must be saying it wrong, I spell it out on a napkin and someone says, no, that’s definitely just ‘spider’. And they keep on asking questions; is it his first name, full name, do I know if it's a nickname, just finding it absolutely mad that the new fat English bloke at work is claiming his landlord’s full name is Spider.

It makes me feel weird. I think they eventually just accept it as a weird name, like celebrity parents calling their kids Apple or Moonbase, but it really stuck with me. And I didn't really talk the rest of the evening, I just sat thinking about the cobwebs, and how dark the house is, and how dark and empty his eyes were.

At some point I followed someone to the smoking area and made a point of nicking a lighter. I didn't know what it was supposed to do, what I'd use it for, but fuck it, if Damhán didn't want me to have a lighter then I'd make sure to have a lighter. I tucked it into my pocket, and from that point on I always had it hidden somewhere, slept with it under my pillow, even kept it in sight when I was having a shower.

Nothing changed for a while, not really. I had my lighter, and I was thinking about Damhán differently, but honestly, it's not like I'd trusted him for a good while anyway. I was still eating the insane piles of food he put in front of me, still getting fatter and fatter. This goes on for a few months, and remember, I reckon I'm putting on over a pound a day at this point - a few months is a good long time to be putting on that much weight. But, as I got bigger, I felt like Damhán started to act differently towards me. I could see him eyeing me up sometimes, like, I was some fruit he was waiting on to get ripe enough. He even asked me, a couple of times, how much I weighed. I'd always tell him, between my bites of butter. One time I said I wasn't sure and he followed me up to the bathroom and watched me weigh myself. I remember him laughing when I read off the weight - bubbling and clicking and hissing again, making my stomach turn - and telling me I was doing a good job.

One Sunday in March, breakfast was huge. I mean, I was pretty used to eating a lot of food by that point, but this was just a crazy amount of food. He just kept bringing out plates and plates of it, didn't even watch me like he usually did, just kept on going back into the kitchen to whip up more. Eventually the sausages and eggs turn into roast vegetables and chicken and gravy, and there's some steaks in there, a load of it was just ready meals still in the plastic, and it all just keeps coming and coming and I just keep eating and eating. Eventually it got dark and the food stopped coming. He never says what the fuck just happened or that it was over, he just stops coming in with trays of food. Anyway, at some point a bit after that I heard him go through the basement door, which, I mean, I should have realised then that something was about to happen. Because I've never been down there, obviously, but I also don't think I've ever seen him go down there either.

Anyway, I sit there burping and farting and digesting until I feel human enough to pull myself up, and fuck me I was used to putting on weight by that point, but I could literally feel all that sudden extra weight. And I stagger up the stairs, probably travelling about a foot a minute, really fucking sluggish, until I collapse into bed, in the same too small pyjamas I had on that morning, my gut fucking looming over me, not even enough strength to pull the covers over me, fuck knows if I’d even be able to reach over my gut to grab them in the first place, and I’m asleep within a few minutes.

At some point I woke up. I didn't think too much about it at first, because I'd started snoring pretty bad somewhere in the first hundred pounds or so, bad enough that I woke myself up with it sometimes. But eventually, I started to see a shape somewhere above me. Like, the room was pitch black, but there was a section above me that was even darker. And I felt something drop onto my face, like something wet and slimy. I reach over to turn my light on and there's Damhán leaning over me, with his mouth wide open, long lines of saliva falling down onto me.

And his teeth were, fuck, I don't know if I'd ever seen his teeth before. Like, maybe he never opened his mouth when he spoke? Or maybe it was the same as how I didn't think about how much I ate or how big I was getting and he just made me not notice them, but they were… fuck me. His mouth was full of these huge, sharp, black fangs.

And even though he had his mouth wide open, wider than I've ever seen any human ever open their mouth, it sort of felt like he was smiling. Like this sadistic, shit-eating smile.

I backed away, as best as I could, what with my being the size of a small hatchback and the fact that he was close enough that even a normal sized person wouldn't be able to really put that much space between him and them, never mind me with my gut almost touching him. I realised that I was covered in cobwebs, thick ones, so that I had to pull them off as I went. And he laughed. His mouth didn't move, but he laughed, and it was so much worse than any other time I'd heard. It was that same gurgling, hissing, clicking sound, but it was like he wasn't bothering to cover it up anymore. I felt like throwing up.

I reached under my pillow and I grabbed my lighter and held it up to him, lit. It seems mad really, how he reacted to it. A tiny little flame like that, and that fucking monster cowered from it like I was holding a gun up to his head. I’m not particularly maneuverable, these days, so it was a struggle, but I made sure as fuck to keep that little flame between him and me at all times as I heaved myself out of bed.

I backed towards the door, and I think he panicked that I was going to get away because he lunged at me and… fuck. He went up like he was covered in petrol. The flame barely touched him. And he started going around the room, bumping into things, and they went up as well.

I couldn't exactly run, but I turned around and I lumbered out of there as quickly as I could. At one point I turned round and the whole landing had gone up behind me. I couldn't believe how fast it was all burning. I think it was all the cobwebs.

I got downstairs, with my heart pounding, and I turned around one last time to see the basement door open. I heard this clicking and gurgling, like when Damhán laughed, and these legs came out round the door, like spiders’ legs but huge. Six, eight feet long maybe. I didn't wait to see whatever they were attached to. I barrelled the door down, and I think it came off its hinges - this much weight will do that.

A neighbour must have rung 999, because the emergency services got there pretty sharpish. The paramedics put one of those foil blanket things awkwardly over my shoulders, like it was supposed to cover me up, and I got given a cup of tea and sat in an ambulance for a bit, then got taken to the police station for some questioning. I lied, obviously. Just told them I woke up when I heard the fire alarm and that's all I knew. I mean, what was I supposed to tell them? I set fire to my surprisingly flammable landlord because he was fattening me up to feed to a spider god he kept in the basement? Is that… I mean, do you think that's what it was? No, no, I suppose you don't know any more than me.

Someone at the station must have picked something up about why I wasn't giving any details, or they had additional information about the house or something, because someone mentioned I should give you guys a call. That you've smoothed over cases before where some of the details have been, I don't know, weird.

And I guess I thought you might be able to give me some answers. If you've seen anything similar, I mean. Like why did he have to make me so fat? Okay, you've got a spider-thing in your basement and you want to make sure its meals are nice and big and nutritious, but then why take so long? Just feed it a normal-sized person a week, not, fuck, not the fattest person you’ve ever seen after a year.

No. No, I suppose you haven't. Sorry, I just. Yeah.

I've been to a doctor about the weight. They didn't even have any scales that could weigh me, they had to refer me to a specialist who had some bariatric scale things. Fucking four-hundred and eighty something pounds. Thirty-five stone, or near enough. Have you ever even seen someone that big? Ha, I suppose you have now, yeah. Anyway, yeah, they've got me on some special weight loss regime, you know, restricted calories, physical therapy which is basically just walking for ten minutes until I'm knackered. I need to lose a load of weight before they can even talk about surgery.

That's it, I guess. Will you- yeah, no sorry, you've got your own procedures and stuff. Yeah, I can see myself back to reception. I don't suppose you have any more of those biscuits, do you?

[Statement ends.

Final archivist's notes, dated 05/11/23: The details of Mr Barrett’s statement have been verified as far as possible. There is a record of his move to and employment in Dublin, and while there is not a record of his renting with Mr Alla, there is a record of the existence of a building matching Mr Barrett’s description at the address provided and of the fire Mr Barrett described [see supplemental materials].

There are 17 reports of missing persons logged in Dublin where the missing person had gained a significant amount of weight prior to their disappearance, going back to 1909.

The name Damhán Alla appears in four previous statements, dating back to 1907. We have added the name as a searchable tag to these statements, although none seem to deal directly with him.

In recent follow up interviews with Mr Barrett's family, friends and doctors, it would seem that his weight loss plan has been unsuccessful, and he has gained somewhat more weight since moving back to London. His family and friends have noted that he seems in good spirits, despite his rather unique trauma and ongoing circumstances. His father made a mention of a new hobby - a newfound interest in spiders.]