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90ekz · 10 months

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HANDY(WO)MAN

connie springer x fem!black!reader

in which: connie never lets you jerk him off, and you show him what he’s missing.

tags: hand kink, bondage/shibari, sub!connie, black feminine reader, nicknames (princess, baby, ma), snowballing (im sorry.)

notes: been gone so long and my first fic back is about this bum :/ i missed y’all tho lol

“pleaseeee con! this would be a dream come true!” you beg to connie as your head rests in his lap. he makes a face as you mention this fact, still not understanding the appeal in all this.

see, in your almost year of dating, connie has never let you touch his cock with your hands. blowjobs? he welcomes them, just no hands. titfucking? great, take your bra off, but handjobs? he’ll get all red in the face and lock himself in the bathroom for hours if you even get close to it.

you can’t pull off his pants for him, or put your hand on his thigh, or tug him by his belt—yeah, he’s that squeamish.

“why are you so obsessed with jacking me off anyway? we do everything else in bed already—“

“exactly! we do everything else kinky in the damn world, just lemme give you a handjob, boy.” you flick the middle of his forehead lightly, watching as a blush spreads across his cheeks. you really wanted to go through with this, and he could tell.

to be clear, connie is by no means shy about sex or his own dick, considering the things you two have done in bed. despite this…

handjobs scared him.

it isn’t the act of getting one, so much as it is his fear of cumming as soon as your pretty little nails wrap around his cock. your hands were his weakness. whenever you touch him, he has to run to the bathroom just to keep from ruining his pants in front of you.

connie eyes your hands that are currently playing with the strings of his sweatpants. you’re giving him those doe eyes that you know he can’t resist, and his cock is already hardening in his pants.

“only if you want to, of course. but ya know… don’t knock it ‘till ya try it.”

“…you’re real annoying, you know that? fine, do your thing.” he smirks down at you as your own smile widens, and you spring up and begin to pepper kisses along his cheeks and neck, whispering to him how much he’s gonna love this.

somehow, none of that begging prepared for what you had in store for him.

“baby, are you sure all of this is necessary? this is… a lot for just a handjob..”

connie felt his cheeks rapidly heating as you tied not only his hands, but his arms flush against his back as well. he could barely move his upper half, due to the nature of the ropes. they extended all the way up to his biceps, and looped around to his waist and chest in a way that restricted most of his movement.

he’d always loved bondage in bed, and this was a bit excessive for his tastes, but he couldn’t complain with the way your eyes were twinkling with excitement.

“i gotta make sure you don’t try to ‘run’ like you claim i always do. you gon’ take this shit.” you lay your head on his waistband, trying not to sound condescending as he turns red.

you start slow, your hands run along his bare chest a bit first, eventually moving down his abs. the sight of your fresh set of acrylics (that he paid for; what a man) with a “C” in cursive on your middle finger sliding down his body made his dick throb.

your hands were perfect to connie. he adored everything, the size, your knuckles that were a few shades darker than the rest, your nails—even when you let them grow out a little too long, the rings that decorate them, it all just made him so weak.

at first (much to his displeasure), you just massage him through his underwear, letting him adjust to the feeling first. he lets out a few grunts and his arms instinctively buck against the restraints.

“…ma, you gon’ joystick my shit all day or you gon’ get to work?”

“don’t be a queen. i’m having my fun, so just sit back and enjoy princess.” you hold in a laugh at the whine that slips out of his mouth because of the nickname. you rotate your palm against the head of his cock, still not bothering to take off his ethikas just yet.

connie’s breath comes in a little sharper when you repeat this motion, which makes you smile. he was reacting just as you wanted him to. he takes a deep breath just as you slip your hand under his waistband and tug at the base of his cock.

“haah—oh fuck!” his hips snap into your grip as you properly jerk his cock now. you tug his underwear down, and smile when he springs to life.

meanwhile, connie is trying to find any excuse to not focus on the way your hands were pleasing him. you begin to find your rhythm and he’s making sounds you’d never heard from him before. you were doing this shit on purpose, hell, your nails were done and scraping his thighs, your fingers accessorized with golden rings on each finger and currently adding a whole new feeling to the motion on his cock.

your movements were slow and deliberate, yet so fucking good.

“oouuu shit—slow d-down!”

“‘m not even going fast, con.” you chuckled, completely enamored by your boyfriends moans. you run your teeth against the skin of his neck, your free hand holding his jaw in place. you wanted him to see what he’d been missing all this time.

connie’s eyes squeeze shut with every stroke on his sensitive dick, but you reminded him to focus. there was something so embarrassing about this compared to everything else the two of you did in bed, yet he couldn’t put his finger on it.

all that was on his mind was: “don’t cum, don’t cum, don’t cum.”

your thumb grazes over his slit and suddenly he’s forgetting all of his previous thoughts, spurts of cum shooting out of his tip all over your hands.

“awww, there you go baby, that’s it…” you peppered his face with kisses through his orgasm. you were a bit surprised, since you didn’t even notice how close he was to cumming. connie twitches in your grasp as overstimulation sets heavy in his bones.

“okay—okayyyy, baby! too much, shitshitshitshit-“

you giggled as you released him, watching his abdomen twitch with the waves of his orgasm rolling over him. a smug grin rested on your face as he came down, rolling his eyes when he caught you looking at him.

“don’t.”

“bae, look at my hand! you liked ittttt.”

you had a point—your fingers were completely covered in your boyfriends load, now dripping onto his lap. he’d never cum that much before, you were honestly impressed. you licked a small stripe onto your tongue before pressing your lips against his. connie gasped against your mouth with wide eyes before relaxing, his tongue swirling around yours.

you pulled away, watching the blush bloom on his face.

“ewww, nigga you gay. you just ate nut!” connie smacks his lips dramatically, exclaiming that it was your fault.

“you ain’t never jackin’ me off ever again.”

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daddyslilchickenfingers2 · 5 months

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KINKTOBER (reuploaded)

Pegging (Matt)

Request: none but yall begged for me to bring it back lmao

Warnings: pegging obviously, sub!matt, best friends, bi reader, fingering(male), dual pleasure strap on, use of vibrator, slight edging, use of matty, mommy kink, whiny!matt, 0.2 seconds of matt sucking the strap, i think that’s all, lmk if i missed anything!

A/N: sorry this is a few days late, i’ve been super busy. tomorrow will be posted on time

Y/n’s pov

I was in the kitchen working on my MacBook when my best friend Matt came in and sat across from me. “Hey Matt.” I greeted him without looking up from my computer screen. “Um hi Y/n/n. Can I uh ask you like a really weird and personal question?” he asked. I was a bit confused but nonetheless nodded in agreement, “Sure I guess…” I said while clicking save and closed my laptop to give him my full attention. “I uh- I can’t ask you here, can we go to my room?” he stated nervously, only adding to my confusion.

We got into his room and Matt closed the door behind him, “So you know how you’re bi?” “Oh really, I am? I had no idea!” I replied sarcastically. “Not funny, but like you’re bi, obviously. I um, uh I-I know you have a strap-on…” he stuttered and trailed off. “If your question is why do I have it, I’m going to hit you for being dumb.” I joked, making Matt squirm uncomfortably, “Have you ever, you know, used it on a guy before?” he inquired nervously. “No… Why do you want to know about my sex life you weirdo?” I was suddenly getting a bit flustered because how the hell does Matt know I have a strap-on in the first place and why is he asking me about what I do with it?

“I- uh- I really like y-you and I have um- a fantasy involving you a-and I really want you to do it. Please don’t get mad.” he stated in a rushed tone, stuttering over a few words. I was beyond confused and a bit shocked, “That’s not how I expected this conversation to go. Um, okay, wow- what’s um… what’s this fantasy?” I asked curiously. Matt started to nervously pick at his nails and chew on his lip, avoiding eye contact with me as his cheeks turned pink. “Would you please dom me?” he asked, “And peg me…” he added, saying it so quietly that I almost didn’t hear him.

“What!? Matt are you sure? It’s probably gonna hurt, I’ve-I’ve never done that before. I’ve only ever used it to fuck a girls pussy.” I replied flustered and just as nervous as Matt. He finally looked at me with pleading eyes, “Please? I have lube and I’ve fingered myself before. I’ll be a good boy and listen, I promise!” he begged me. Looking at his face, I reluctantly agreed “I uh- okay, we can try it. I’m just scared I’m going to hurt you.” I told him softly. “You won’t hurt me, it’ll just be uncomfortable at first. I really want this, I’ve thought about it since we were 17. Can we do it tonight? Chris and Nick are going over to a friend’s house.” Matt said quickly, clearly excited that I agreed.

“Sure I guess, but I’m gonna want foreplay beforehand. And I’m probably gonna want to kiss you, like a lot.” I laughed as Matt’s cheeks turned a deep shade of pink again. He started looking down again nervously “Can I kiss you right now?” he asked softly, instead of answering I just tilted his head up and captured his lips in a short but sweet kiss. “Mhm, thank you.” he blurted out after, as I got up and made my way to the door. I sent him a wink before going to my own room where I pulled out my strap-on, which happened to be one for dual pleasure, meaning there was a vibrating dildo that went into me as well.

Even though it had already been cleaned after the last time I used it, I decided to clean it again anyway. I also decided I needed to ask Matt another question so I texted him to come to my room. I laid out a few sets of lingerie, that basically cover nothing, on my bed, but I wanted Matt to pick one anyway. “Um what did you need my help with?” he asked as he stepped into my room, closing the door. “I want you to pick which one you want me to wear tonight.” I said while pulling him over to my bed to look at what I had picked out. I stopped when I noticed Matt kept trying to cover his crotch with his hands, instantly knowing he was hard. “Are you hard right now Matty?” I teased, causing him to blush deeply.

“Only a little bit. I didn’t touch myself, I promise! I-I do have a vibrator in m-my ass though but it’s not on. I just wanted to edge myself so I could cum more later, ‘m sorry I didn’t a-ask.” he stuttered out, extremely flustered. “Do you have the remote?” I questioned as he was eyeing this one black set, which was mostly just straps. “Yes, and I want this one it’s really sexy.” he blurted out before blushing heavily. The one he picked out was a black leather bra and panties set with a grater belt, the bra was basically just an outline of one as it had nothing covering my tits. It did hold my them up nicely though, just like the panties, which were crotchless, and the garter made my ass look good.

“Can I have control of the vibrator until tonight? You think you can handle that without cumming?” I inquired, wanting to know how far I could take things with him. Matt dug into his pocket before pulling out the remote and handed it to me with an embarrassed smile. “I think I can as long as it’s not on 24/7.” he told me as he grabbed my hand and started nervously playing with the few rings I had on my fingers. “Can I ask you a serious question?” I asked Matt, resulting in him nodding. “I’m not judging you, I just want to know, but you don’t have to answer if you feel uncomfortable. Why do you want to be pegged so badly and like having things up your ass? I don’t care if you are, but are you like gay or bi?” I questioned, causing him to drop my hand.

Matt’s face turned a bright red and he had to clear his throat a couple of times before speaking. “N-No, I’m not gay or bi, I don’t find men attractive. I was just young and experimenting one day and figured out how to stimulate my prostate. I wanna get pegged because I’ve seen it on pornhub and it looks really hot.” he said softly. “Plus you’re someone I trust and if I’m being honest, you’re really attractive and you domming me would be the hottest fucking thing in the world to me.” he added, blushing heavily. “Noted. Thanks Matty, that’s all I needed.” I smiled at him before Nick conveniently called for him. This was the perfect time to start teasing him with the vibrator.

After putting the other two lingerie sets away, I walked out to the kitchen, pretending to go back to working on my laptop. I watched as Matt sat down next to Nick on the couch, pulling the small remote out of my pocket I pressed the + button, turning it on to 1, making Matt’s breath hitch a little. He looked up at me with pleading eyes to stop as he was talking to Nick but I turned it up again to 3, making him squirm a bit. “Matt, are you okay? You look uncomfortable and you’re not paying attention.” Nick asked, genuinely concerned.

Matt’s pov

I regret giving Y/n the remote to the vibrator now because I didn’t think she’d turn it on when I was talking to my fucking brother. I was fine when it was on level 1 but when she turned it up to 3 my brain went a bit foggy, I zoned out a little bit until Nick put his hand on my shoulder. “Matt, are you okay? You look uncomfortable and you’re not paying attention.” he asked, I quickly came up with an excuse. “Yeah I’m fine, my head just hurts a bit.” I lied, looking at Y/n and silently asking her to turn it off, which luckily for me, she did. After talking to Nick, I walked over to her, “Please don’t turn it on when I’m talking to my brother!” I pleaded, but that just made her turn it up to 5 while smirking.

“But doesn’t it feel good Matty?” she asked, I let out a whimper and nodded before walking back to the living room. This went on for the next two hours or so until Nick and Chris left, my boxers were soaked with precum and my dick was so hard. I was laying on my bed and I swear I almost came in my pants when Y/n walked in. She was wearing the lingerie set I picked out along with the strap-on, which was black and matched the set perfectly. The strap-on was definitely smaller than my dick, maybe 5 or 6 inches max, but that was good because I don’t think I could take one that’s upwards of 7 inches.

I started squirming as Y/n stood above me, looking down at me and telling me to get undressed. She already had me take the vibrator out like 15 minutes ago, not that it really mattered. “You’re already being such a good boy for me Matty.” she praised, making me whine a bit as her eyes raked over my body. “I’m ready for you to dom me.” I confessed, causing her to stop staring at my body and smile at me. “Where’s your lube at?” she asked me but I just got it for her instead, “Thank you handsome, can you lay on the bed for me?” she asked sweetly, knowing I was a bit nervous to get pegged and have sex with her in general.

Y/n’s pov

I know Matt said he wanted me to dom him, but I could visibly tell he was anxious and nervous so I was trying to be as gentle as I could with him. “Matty, if it’s too much or it hurts too bad let me know and we’ll stop and cuddle okay?” I said while moving some hair out of his eyes. “I promise I’ll say something.” he replied, “What do you wanna start with first babe?” I asked him, wanting to do things his way. “I want to makeout with you.” he giggled, I hovered over Matt and we started kissing slowly at first, then we started full-on making out. I was sucking on Matt’s tongue and he was letting out the prettiest whiny moans as I ran my hands up and down his sides.

Experimentally, I started ghosting my hands across his nipples, loving the whimper it pulled from him. I pulled back for just a second, “Does that feel good baby?” I questioned while rubbing my thumbs over his nipples before rolling them between my thumb and index finger. “Yeah but please more!” he whined, not making too much sense, “Please what baby? What do you want me to do?” I asked as I kissed all over his chest. “Want you to just peg me already. I’m ready mommy.” Matt squirmed. His eyes opened widely when he realized what he just said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mea-“ he started before I cut him off with a kiss.

“Don’t be impatient baby, mommy will fuck you when she’s ready.” I said sternly as I moved towards his aching cock. I discreetly turned my vibrator onto 2, not high enough to make me cum but just enough to get me more wet. His cock was already covered and dripping with precum, “This really gets you worked up, doesn’t it?” I teased as I grabbed the lube. I squeezed some onto my fingers and circled his puckered hole before slowly slipping one in. “Two fingers please, I can take it.” he whined, I added a second finger and Matt was right, he could indeed take it.

I started scissoring his hole opened before adding some more lube and a third finger causing Matt to whimper. “Too much?” I asked, not wanting to hurt him, “N-No just so full.” he panted out in response. I fingered Matt for a few more minutes until he grabbed my wrist and stopped me. “I-I think I’m ready mommy.” he said, looking up at me with those innocent blue eyes. “Are you sure?” I asked as I pulled my fingers out, wiping the rest of the lube off on my thigh. “Really sure, can- can I get it wet with my mouth and control your vibrator, please?” Matt asked nervously.

I handed him the remote and stood up, Matt quickly turned my toy up to 5 which caused me to squirm before he got on his knees. “You look good on your knees baby.” I complimented, making him blush heavily. “How do I um you know, suck dick?” Matt asked, his last two words barely above a whisper. “Well I’m not going to feel anything so you can just do whatever.” I explained, Matt nodded and started to suck on it lightly for a minute as I looked down at him.

He whined and stopped sucking, “I can’t wait, just use lube because I need it now!” he complained, desperately trying not to touch himself. “Okay, get back on the bed for me then.” I said while stroking the side of his face. Once Matt got back on the bed, I put some lube around his hole and onto the strap. “It might hurt baby, so tell me if you need to stop.” “Okay Y/n, please I need you so bad!” he whined. I placed the tip at Matt’s entrance and slowly pushed it in about half way.

Matt let out a choked sob as his hands tightly clenched the sheets and his face held a look of discomfort. “It’s okay Matty, you’re okay.” I soothed him, “P-Put the rest in.” he whimpered. I pushed in the rest of the way before stilling my movements again, not wanting to go too fast. Matt being the sneaky little shit he is, decided to turn my vibrator up to 7, I let out a loud moan as he did so. “Please move.” he groaned quietly, I started pumping at a slow pace as he started to groan a bit.

Even though I was feeling so much pleasure from the vibrator and I wanted nothing more than to start pounding into Matt, I stopped myself because I didn’t want to hurt him. “F-Faster mommy!” he loudly whined, I sped up my movements just a little bit, loving Matt’s whimpers and moans, “Feel good baby?” I panted out. “More! Need more!” he cried out, grabbing onto my shoulders, “Want me to go faster or harder?” I asked, wanting to clarify what he wanted.

“Both, please! Feels so goo—“ he cut himself off with an extremely loud moan as I started fucking into him rougher. “RIGHT THERE! FUCK MOMMY, D-DO THAT AGAIN!” he begged, bending his knees and putting his feet flat on the bed to arch his back more. Even with all the pleasure Matt was experiencing, he was still thinking about me, he turned up my vibrator to 10 which caused me to also join in on his loud moaning.

“Right here Matty? Is that where it feels good?” I asked breathlessly, “Yes! Yes! Please touch my cock, please! Please!” he needily moaned. I started rubbing his cock in rhythm with my thrust as we were both getting closer to the edge. “A-Are you close mommy?” “Very close baby, I just want you to cum first.” I told Matt, speeding up all my movements. “Choke me! Choke me tightly so I can please cum!” he whimpered.

I used my left hand to choke him and a couple seconds later, Matt was painting both our stomachs white with copious amounts of cum, cause me to cum as well and pulled out a him. “M-Matt, vibrator!” I cried for him to turn it off as I was getting overstimulated, “Sorry, sorry.” he apologized out of breath and turned it off my vibrator as I collapsed next to him on my back as we caught our breath.

I took off the strap and I was honestly just going to put it on the floor because I was too tired to clean it right now but Matt took it from me. He licked all my cum off the vibrating side before he put it on the floor and scooped his cum off of me. Matt stuck his fingers in his mouth to taste himself and moaned when I moved to lick the rest of his cum off his body. “You were such a good boy Matty, you did so well.” I praised him as I kissed his neck, sucking a minimal amount of hickies into the skin.

“Thank you Y/n/n, felt so good.” Matt blushed as I stood up to go take another shower “C’mon let’s go get cleaned up real quick.” I said while helping Matt up. I grabbed my clothes and strap-on as well as a pair of socks, boxers and a tshirt for Matt before we went to my room to take a quick shower. When we got out and got dressed we looked at the time to see Nick and Chris would be home soon. As to not be sus, we sat in the living to watch a movie and Matt was now extra clingy.

I’m not complaining, I think it’s cute, I enjoyed it. Matt had his head on my shoulder and I had an arm wrapped around his shoulders. I was playing with his hair when Nick and Chris walked back in and thankfully neither of them said anything. They probably just chalked it up to Matt feeling anxious about something and I comforted him. Both boys simply just plopped down on the couch to watch the movie with us until we all called it a night, Matt ended up sleeping in my room.

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world0fmadness · 2 months

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LOVE IN MY DARK HEART

bård “ faust ” eithun x reader

♡ general dating headcanons for faust!

୨୧ my dream man lolol! reader is referenced to be shorter than faust because i think a majority of people are but if you’re not, i’m sorry :( kind of throuple-y with ihsahn but not reallyyy <3

♡ related hc available here, here, here and here | view my metal masterlist here

reading music recommendations: the moors of death by urgehal - death to planet earth by craft

♡ faust really gives me the vibe of someone who would just be absolutely obsessed with his partner!

୨୧ like he’s just so obsessed with you and everything you do…

♡ applying your lipstick? he’s gazing at you with his usual blank eyes but if you look really closely, you can see love swirling around in there too!

୨୧ your freshly applied lipstick doesn’t last very long before he’s making a mess out of it with his own lips pressed against yours, most of it transfers onto his which makes you chuckle before grabbing a makeup wipe to help him clean it

“ get this shit off of me, please… love you ” ( he swears he hates your lipstick but whenever he’s making out with you in helvete and someone points out the residue on his lips, he smirks so big, wearing it almost like a mark of pride )

♡ painting your nails? he’s giving you his opinion on what colour to do them ( spoiler alert: it’s almost always black or crimson red )

୨୧ he just loves his girl so much :(

♡ some of his friends give him shit for being so smitten with you but he takes one look over at you and it’s like, why wouldn’t he be smitten with you?

୨୧ so he never lets those comments get to him, he knows you’re worth being smitten for

♡ he loves when you come to his band practices for emperor with him, almost always pulling you by the hands, making you sit on his lap and hold his can of coke whilst he plays the drums

୨୧ you become really close with ihsahn! the three of you going out to grab take out together after a concert, you wearing faust’s leather jacket, their corpse paint smudged beyond belief as you offer to fix it up for them whilst waiting on your food

♡ dare i say you and faust have even had a couple half drunk threesomes with ihsahn <3 he’s the only other person faust would trust to treat you right in bed

୨୧ but anyways… let’s move on from that…

♡ whenever you’re anywhere with faust, you’re almost always sitting on his lap, one of his hands drawing patterns on your back whilst the other rests on your thigh as he talks to his friends about upcoming concerts

୨୧ he’s not super into crazy pda but when in helvete, he’ll gladly make out with you! he’s a little more reserved when out and about on the streets of oslo but he’ll always have at least one hand somewhere on your body

♡ because he’s so much taller than you, you have to stand on your tippy toes to even be able kiss him properly

୨୧ which is why he prefers to make out with you in helvete because there, he can just pick you up and place you on the counter, making it less of a stretch for both you and him

♡ whenever euronymous sees this happening, he’s always pissed, feeling like he has to bat you both away with a broom because you’ll “ scare off his customers ”

୨୧ faust always just gives a small smirk in his direction before simply picking you up and moving you over to his little corner

♡ he’s VERY possessive of you! whenever you’re at a concert and he sees someone eyeing you a little too much for his liking, he’ll quickly make it known to them that you’re his

୨୧ usually he does this by getting very grabby with you or just tilting your face up to him by your chin and shoving his tongue into your mouth, sloppy open mouth making out right in their line of sight <3

♡ by the time you’re done and he looks up, he finds that the person is long gone, much to his pleasure!

୨୧ you guys have SO many pictures together taken in photo booths! they almost completely cover the fridge in your shared apartment

♡ most of them are sweet, sharing sloppy kisses and some of them are slightly risqué, him pulling your shirt up to flash your lacey bra to the camera just as it flashes with a smirk on his face whilst you giggle up a storm ( you briefly forget that they’re printed on the outside, where anyone walking by could see them )

୨୧ more often than not, you’re the one who paints his face for him!

♡ you’ll straddle his lap, forcing him to keep his hands on your hips because you don’t want to mess it up over him grabbing your ass…

୨୧ he’s always impressed by how much better it turns out when you do it and soon enough, ihsahn is asking you if you’d be able to do his before emperor concerts <3

♡ faust isn’t a super romantic person but for you, he really tries his best!

୨୧ he takes you on a date whenever he can afford it, usually just taking you shopping and then walking around a local cemetery before sitting on one of the benches as you smother him in kisses as a thank you

♡ he pretends to be irritated but anyone with eyes can see he’s loving it

“ okay… yes, i know, you’re welcome… your lipstick is all over my face, i know it… ” ( it is indeed all over his face )

୨୧ whenever you get really drunk at a party or concert, he’ll carry you home on his back whilst having to pause every now and again to let you off and hold your hair back as you vomit…

♡ you LOVE watching horror movies together! wether it’s cuddled up in his little corner in helvete or in bed at your shared apartment

୨୧ he’s really eerily quiet whilst watching them but his hand is usually playing with your hair, gently twirling it around his fingers which usually lulls you to sleep

♡ i just know he’s so loud in bed, not at all afraid to make his pleasure known… when you two first got together, he was definitely more on the shy side about it but after a while, he realised you like when he moans so he doesn’t hold back anymore…

୨୧ your neighbours hate you two so much and have absolutely filed a noise complaint due to the near constant blaring black metal and moaning ringing out through their walls whenever you’re home

♡ faust claims they’re just jealous and hey, he’s probably right…

#bard eithun x reader #faust x reader #emperor x reader #emperor headcanons #lords of chaos x reader #loc x reader #lords of chaos headcanons #loc headcanons #dating headcanons

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vampiretendencies · 2 years

Note

hope you’re doing well ! would you be able to do one where the reader and jj’s relationship is still pretty new and they’re both still nervous about holding hands, touching, kissing, giving compliments to each other, etc? 🫶

warnings; fluff

pairing; jj x fem!reader

authors note; i wasn’t sure if you meant for this to be a blurb or not but i’m made it one so i hope you still enjoy :)

A vague hug.

Every now and then at least, that’s the most either of you have accomplished. JJ’s on the brink of actually diving head first into a pile of needles— he wants it so bad. The man that’s came close to death multiple times, can’t even muster a hand hold with his Goddamn girlfriend.

One could give it to him that it was newly raw and it’s gleaming with a two month span, that these things came with it— but it doesn’t, not right now anyway. He’s done this before, with flings and hook ups. He can’t do that with you, for you are infinite. In JJ’s world, you are suns that never set, you are a cold beer first thing in the morning, you are a blunt right before bed. May not seem like realistic, loving instances to most, but all of that encompasses JJ. You’ve taken that place, and he doesn’t want to spoil it. You too, were afraid to do it as well, not that you were scared of him, it’s just frightening and nerve wracking to learn the whole of someone’s body.

The big ‘it’ in the room is navigating a new relationship.

The gnawing feeling to want to know your human inside and out, but is it too soon? Would they want you to?

Figuring these things out is the realm of why JJ could not compensate for dating, though he wants it all for the first time, right now, with you.

To touch the one he’s held closest to his heart for so long, he gets the girl, and now he doesn’t know what to do with her. Agreeance could be met, that out of all the nail biting situations they’ve encountered in love, this tops the list.

Miraculously enough, the churning of either stomachs could not be heard. Sat alike one another in the open portion of the Twinkie. The chimes of light music strumming from the radio, an alarming uncomfortable silence is cutting the air. He’s afraid you just saw the lump he gulped back in his throat. Thighs hardly touching, the contact of hands that won’t graze are in the open space waiting to be filled. Both pairs of legs straightened, avoiding, wavering eye contact.

“Shit. My hands are sweaty.” JJ wipes the clammy palms of his hands to the center of his sleeveless shirt, head met with the opening doors on the vehicle. You won’t peer at him, using your free hand to toy at the bottom of your shorts. He quips this statement in hopes to stifle that beautiful laughter that he knows so well, only to get a half smile in return.

You’re trying to hide it, lock it away, but nerves are striking and spreading within you tendfold. And he acknowledges it, you both do. Aware of existence prior, yet not taking that extra step. JJ really thought he’d done all the work he needed to do when he asked you to be his girlfriend, that was eating away at him enough then, so he’s a complete mess currently.

“A-are you okay?”

You clear your throat, if one of the Pogues were here you were sure they’d catch a case of second hand embarrassment. This is so affectionately painful.

“M’ just a little hot is all.”

You crane your neck in a shaking notion, he’s gained your attention, practically wanting to scream to the entire island of Kildare that you did. Progress would be made today, he was sure.

“We can go … inside, i-if you want?”

“No! Uh— fuck, I mean no I don’t want that, I wanna’ stay, here with you.”

JJ’s hand grasps at his forehead, swallowed in his edgy apprehensiveness. His frazzled affirmation has a plethora of butterflies swarming your insides, and while you’re ahead you want to keep looking at him. Keep studying and searching for the unsearchable. To know things about JJ that even he didn’t know about himself. His blonde locks are tousled in every direction, blue irises haunting you in anxiousness that you’ve got his gaze.

“Usually happens when m’with you.”

He’s hinting and his heart soars from the crinkle of your eyes brow, a small worry wrinkle in the middle. It is evident that the lovers are nervous but who would quiver to the temptation of saying so.

Tongue writhing in dryness, it’s like he’s lacking in saliva the way his mouth empties. He can’t form sentences properly with you near, and you can hardly look at him without getting flustered. Hell, it’s as if the dating portion never occurred, the needy glances resembled that of when the couple was pining for one another.

“I make you all sweaty?”

You voice chirped in innocence— the same innocence JJ admired the most. He desired to snap that innocence in half and make you fall apart for him and only him. Sickeningly enough though, the newness and anxiousness is forcing things to not be there yet.

“Always. Y’just make my cheeks real hot and-and s’like I forget get how to speak.”

And it’s true, you knock the breath from his lungs with your presence alone. The pinky adorning his hand is inchy closer to yours, it jabs at yours for a millisecond before he darts it back to join his own. Catching your eyeline, you take in his hands— calloused finger tips, a few scars on his knuckles that you have yet to know what from, veins prominent and blue, ring slightly scratched but shining nonetheless, nails grown out just a smidge with feathered pieces of skin picked out from the nails bed— it’s so invigorating to have a hand so large to your smaller one, the closest it’s ever gotten.

He can’t help but be intimidated, you dare him to put it back, to interlock each and every one of his fingers with yours.

Don’t get him started, having an urge to release all that he’s kept held back for the sake of ‘moving too fast’ or ‘being too much’ or ‘maybe you didn’t want that’ or how undeniably powerful the hold your insatiable charm has around his neck

“You’re nervous, J.” You confirm what he’s feeling, unsure if he doesn’t understand it or if he doesn’t care too, either way he wants to rip the bandaid off. “I get like that too— well I am right now.”

“Why didn’t you say anything then?

His question rings loudly inside your thoughts, when the question at hand should be— why haven’t either of you said anything.

“Didn’t wanna’ scare you off just yet.”

He grins, a shit eating grin— like the one he smiled when you said yes to dating him. So big, smile lines are forming and the hollow of his cheeks hurt from it. Both sets of to be in love eyes, peer back down at the hands, foreheads joining in touch— insides meshing every which way at the fire that’s about to ignite from only the intertwining of fingers.

“Is it okay if I hold your hand, pretty girl?” His speech is more confident and everlasting, nearing to over come this two month obstacle. You’re biting the insides of your mouth , and JJ is poking his tongue at his bottom lip in actual concentration.

The last thing he wanted was to make you regret hold his hand. Unbeknownst to him, you’d like to desperately kiss every knuckle and relish in him being yours.

“More than okay.”

His fingers dance with yours, itching for a spark that was there without even doing so. The hands tuck together so finitely, he holds it like he will never hold another hand again. With all he’s got, he squeezes in the assurance that this is the hand he wants intermixed with his for all of time. JJ initiates rising the hands up to meet between your shared breaths— mouths aching to be molded together. A turn of his wrist has the back of your hand near his mouth and you swore you could’ve died on the spot. It’s not forced, it’s not unfitting— no, they fit like they we made for eachother.

The back of your tiny hand meets with the cupids bow of his upper lip, concentrating on the skin, imagining it was your pair of lips. It’s one kiss, and it’s full of the unsaid— drawn out, afraid that if he let go he might get the courage to do it again. Saccharine, like the thickest honey, slow and sweet.

“C-can I kiss you now, baby?”

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mtkay13 · 7 months

Text

The peach blossoms are blooming

Lol @the fancy title, haha. Yesterday I promised "two hoboxu's today!" but I'm an inconsistant liar so the second is today and not yesterday, HAH.

Anyway, another painting of my very beloved; more about this piece below!

So aside of the obvious joke, what I really wanted to work on and represent on this picture is, as the title makes it clearer, grief, and what it looks like for ZZS.

The idea came from imagining ZZS setting off, happy with his disguise, and passing by a peach tree orchards and seeing all the peach blossoms blooming, and what it would entail.

...So let's talk about what TYK is about again, shall we?

(usual caveat: those are my thoughts and interpretations etc etc)

Little is known of the four years that separate the end of QY and the beginning of TYK. Even less is obviously stated when it comes to the reasons why ZZS has put in the nails, besides the obvious "requirement to leave Tian Chuang" part.

So, trying to leave all headcanons and other suppositions aside, and looking at what the text gives us, one of the main "storylines" of ZZS' personal journey across both books seems to be: dealing with the loss of LJX, first of their relationship, and later, of LJX entirely.

>I'm going to boldly announce that (I think) TYK is in great parts a story about getting over grief, or rather, properly living with grief.

Needless to say that it is clear that ZZS has a bunch of issues he's dealing with, including "the void after meeting your goals; what's next?" and some form of burnout from completely over-exerting himself and going way beyond what he thought he could sustain mentally; but also. Four years after he lost LJX, ZZS is still deeply grieving. Still seeing him in crowds, still thinking about him frequently, still hallucinating him, dreaming of him. He couldn't resist taking in ZCL because ZCL reminded him of LJX. Nearly every single thought of his own past ends up rooting back to LJX.

The first time he mentions LJX's name out loud in TYK, chapter 41, is the first time he mentions it at all in four years, and to quote the text:

Speaking out his name hadn't been that big of a deal, in the end; it had only felt like something had been pulled out of his chest—like he was now missing a piece, like it left behind an empty void.

(TYK ch41, TL by me)

The next scene is when it hits ZZS that he's going to die; from that moment on, ZZS starts feeling stupid, ZZS slowly starts wanting to find a solution, influenced by WKX... and the story culminates with ZZS making the opposite decision that he made in QY: instead of risking never seeing WKX alive again, and against WKX's decision, he goes to meet him, unlike LJX whom he was too scared to go meet, and lost forever without even saying goodbye.

>I think that ZZS essentially took the nails because he couldn't manage to live with that grief, basically. (I know, I KNOW there are other reasons, but for the sake of analyzing this theme, I find interesting to look at it from this angle; how the narrative shifts towards ZZS putting in the efforts to stay alive at the exact same times he starts letting go of LJX literally.) And then, as he learns, as he rediscovers life differently, the story becomes about getting free from the nails, about actially living with that grief rather than dying because of it.

*coughs* so, hum, yes. This is what I wanted to represent. What grief looks like, at this stage of melancholic, happy, self-deprecating acceptance of freedom through death—freedom of the burden of grief and guilt. It's a bittersweet feeling, but the way I see it, he smiles out of what he thinks is inner peace, resignation, and once again, self-deprecation.

I would go even deeper, in that ZZS' relationship to death with regards to LJX is quite complex and difficult, given how he was told by LJX himself that he ought to die for what he's done (or misunderstood LJX saying so), but that's a whole other can of worms and I don't have the brain juice to go there again (since it wouldn't even be the first time iirc). SO YEAH, again, grief, but ZZS style: turned into a bit of a melancholic, silly, but gentle joke, and with a smile on the face. On brand with TYK as well.

Cheers!

#tian ya ke #zhou zishu #liang jiuxiao #tyk #zzs #meta #qi ye

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e-dubbc11 · 5 months

Text

Goodnight Sweet Prince

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: Death, description of injuries, vomiting, crying, grief

Word Count: 2.8K-ish

Summary: After a night out, on your way home, there’s a horrific accident

A/N: Ok I’m just going to say I’m sorry right off the bat, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Based off of a conversation between my lovely lovely friend @ittybxttykxttytxtty if you’d like to read the conversation, check it out HERE There is a surprise at the end so I will do another author’s note at the end. This was very hard to write at times, I had to walk away from it and come back to it a few times. I know, I’m rambling again. I’m just gonna say I’m sorry again and forgive me but I hope you like it anyway. Oh and the song I listened to on repeat to put me in the right mindset was Storm by Lifehouse. I’ll link it at the end. ♥️

As always, thank you for reading! I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

There wasn’t anything that could be done for the outcome to be different. You were living a real life nightmare over and over again, always starting and ending in the same place, never finding out what happened after the accident or how you were supposed to figure out how to break the time loop you were stuck in.

The scorched heart that beat inside your chest burned every time you had to watch that truck hit the patch of black ice. His strong hands had pushed you out of the way and you fell across the faded white lines of the crosswalk, toward the sidewalk, just as it hit him.

Choking on the icy winter air, you tried to get to him as people started to gather around. All other sounds had been blocked out, you couldn’t hear the pedestrians that were trying to ask you if you were ok. You could read their lips but there was no sound.

With your palms pressed firmly in place, you could feel the vibrations of the traffic along the cold cracked city streets before crawling on all fours through a sea of legs looking for him. You could finally hear the faded sounds of approaching sirens and see the blinking red emergency lights against the somber night sky.

Your heart sank into your feet when you finally saw him. The attempt to control his pain and shock was futile. He didn’t have to say anything because it was all over his face. He was scared, calling out your name over and over again through shuttering, halting breaths.

Bright red blood slowly dripped from the scrapes on his knuckles and trailed out of his mouth. His legs twisted to impossible angles; you knew they were broken.

The dialogue was always the same.

As you hovered above him, you tried to stifle your sobs as you gently scraped his scalp with your nails.

“BILLY!” You cried out.

He struggled to get his words out. Between labored breaths he managed to ask, “A-are y-you o-ok? T-tell me you’re ok!”

Cupping his cheek, you replied, “I’m ok, baby…I’m ok. They’re coming, Billy! Just hold on! Why did you do that?!!”

Billy tried to smile.

“I-I couldn’t l-let any…thing h-happen to m-my s-sweet girl.” He choked out before his eyes closed.

“Billy! Billy, open your eyes for me please! Don’t you dare leave me, Billy Russo!” You yelled, gripping and shaking his shoulders.

Just as his eyes slowly started to open, you were surrounded by a swarm of paramedics who whisked you away toward the ambulance. And as you struggled to get away from them and back to Billy, a warm white light would appear and take you to a happy memory of him like the day you met, the night of your first date, and the first time he told you he loved you.

These memories felt like dreams. You observed them from the outside, like you were a spectator watching your own life as it played out in front of you.

“She left me…she didn’t want me…she never did.” He had said softly.

You remembered that night vividly. That quiet night with nothing but the sound of the fire crackling and hissing in between the words the two of you exchanged. A mother had left her own child on the doorstep of a fire station with nothing but the clothes on his back, not bothering to look back as she walked away from him. She made a choice and she didn’t deserve any forgiveness for it you thought to yourself because you couldn’t get any words out.

You struggled to swallow as tears silently fell from your eyes and in a way, you felt sorry for her because she would never know that her son grew up to be probably the strongest person you had ever met.

Billy had pulled himself out of that gutter she had left him in. He defended his country as a marine, became a successful CEO of a company he started without help from anyone, and he was so much more than anyone ever got to see.

You were the only person he ever showed that side of himself to.

Even the warmth from the fire couldn’t keep you from shivering as you listened to his story. The words kept pouring out like blood from an open wound and his words left you stunned and unable to move.

There wasn’t anything you could say to take that pain away, to make the nightmares disappear, help him forget about the Ray of Hope group home, the bodies left behind in Afghanistan, or the pain he suffered from feeling unwanted and unloved for so long. But you could listen and be there for him whenever he needed you to and he loved you for that.

Your story wasn’t like Billy’s but it was still a painful one. The memories you had from when you were really young made you happy but as you got older into your pre-teen and teenage years, everything unraveled.

Your parents divorced, you had to leave the house you grew up in, and your mother even gave away your dog. She treated you like she didn’t want you, not going as far as Billy’s mother did but you felt just as he did…unwanted and unloved.

“What did she do to you?” Billy had asked.

Gazing at you fondly, his eyes were the color of freshly turned soil after the rain. His long fingers softly brushed across your knuckles as the heat from the fire warmed one side of his handsome face.

You swallowed hard before answering him, it was nothing like what he had been through, and it just sounded so marginal but you answered him anyway.

“She ignored me.” You replied with your voice cracking.

You didn’t want to cry but tears fell from your eyes anyway as you tried to look away from him, realizing how stupid it all sounded but he wouldn’t let you look away or down. Billy wanted your eyes on him.

The look in his eyes was understanding; they silently told you he would never do that to you and he would always be there to listen to you because, in a way, you were alike. The two of you had managed to find one another and he never wanted to let that go…and neither did you.

The broken fragments of your lives that you carried around never quite fit back into place, no matter how hard you tried to put them back. Those scars are forever; they never completely go away but you didn’t need those pieces anymore. The healing you did together helped to patch the holes inside that you thought might never be filled with love again.

Patiently, you had waited for someone to love you as Billy did, to love you for who you were and he had only wanted the same. Not for his money or his good looks but for someone to love him, to be patient with him, but also to put him in his place when he was wrong. He wasn’t used to that but he did whatever it took because, with your help, he liked the man he was becoming.

He felt…content.

And in an instant, everything changed. The cycle would start all over again. Truck…screeching tires…hitting the pavement…sirens and lights…blood…broken bones…hearing your name…flashes of light…a fond memory.

You couldn’t keep watching him get hit by that truck over and over again. It felt like moments of your life were being taken from you each time it happened but still you loved watching the wonderful memories and moments between you and Billy again like it was the first time it was happening.

Every emotion you had experienced in those memories, you felt again watching them unfold in front of your eyes. The butterflies in your stomach fluttered again watching him kiss you for the first time. And goosebumps peppered your skin every time his lips touched that spot on your neck you loved so much…you felt them all.

But no matter how hard you tried to prevent him from being hit, you couldn’t do it. The universe wouldn’t let you. The cruelty of it all, watching the worst moment of your life play over and over again like a broken record. The flashes of light would always happen before learning Billy’s fate but you needed to break the loop.

How were you going to do that?

Maybe? No, no that can’t be the answer. You couldn’t do it. You couldn’t just let him die. “There has to be another way!” You thought.

The scent of tires and pavement mixed together burned into your sense of smell and left you sick with nausea as you tried to comfort him or ease his pain in any way you could. But it didn’t do any good. You could feel him slipping away as the obliterating pain you felt in your chest increased when the paramedics tore you away from his side.

The light came for you, ready to take you away to another memory but you didn’t let it. That’s when you realized that there was no other way to break the loop. Your body went numb, admitting to yourself that you had to let him go.

You had exhausted every option, tried everything, but the time loop kept going. The memories shown to you were all you were going to have left of him which was excruciating to think about.

You broke free from the paramedic’s strong grip and hurried back to him just as the other EMT’s were putting him on the stretcher.

You weren’t going to let him be alone.

No other words were exchanged inside the ambulance. With the oxygen mask over his face, his long fingers had laced with yours, he squeezed your hand periodically as the ambulance raced toward the hospital until his heart stopped beating and you heard the unmistakable sound of a flat line. His fingers went limp, his hand dropped away from yours as the EMT’s tried to revive him but he wasn’t coming back.

The tears came thick and fast as all noises dissipated like a heavy fog burning off over the ocean. A piece of you was gone, it had died along with him and that space in your heart that had been filled in with his love was empty once again.

The air inside suddenly became heavy and you struggled to breathe. As soon as the ambulance doors opened, you vomited onto the pavement in the parking lot and collapsed into the arms of one of the paramedics.

Before you blacked out, you heard him call out to you, “Miss! Can you hear me?!”

**********

Slowly, your eyes fluttered open, the bright lights above you stung as you waited for your vision to adjust to them. The voice you heard next to you was a familiar one.

“Hey sweetheart.” He said.

The voice was deep and gruff but soft. It could only be one person…Frank.

Frank Castle was Billy’s best friend. They served together and when Billy started Anvil, he had Frank come and work for him.

A hazy sense of sadness filled the room and after a moment of cold silence, you burst into tears, clawed at the sheets and tried to get out of bed.

“Y/n…no, no! What are ya doing, ya have to stay here. He’s gone, sweetheart.” Frank embraced you tightly and choked on his words. “He’s gone.”

Still trying to pull the cold sheets off your body, you cried, “He was all I had, Frank! He was all I…had!”

Frank squeezed you as hard as he could, held you in his arms as you cried while he tried not to and stroked your hair to try and soothe you but it didn’t do any good. You were heartbroken and numb as you sobbed against Frank’s shirt before passing out from shock once again.

The only person in the world who understood you, who you went to when you were having a bad day, or when you just needed someone to hug you in silence was stolen from you and he wasn’t coming back.

The only thing you felt was helplessness, lying in your hospital bed desperately trying to think of how you were going to move on with your life without him. You didn’t have anyone else, so what were you supposed to do now?

The weeks following Billy’s death all ran together in a blur. Frank and his wife, Maria, insisted you stay with them, but you couldn’t eat, or sleep, and when you did sleep, you were awakened by constant nightmares. Billy came to you in your dreams, they felt so real, his hands cupping your cheeks, lips colliding with yours, and his fingers tracing along the curves and hollows of your body.

Suddenly, his face was covered in cuts and blood and his life force grew fainter. You reached out but you couldn’t touch him. He slipped right through your fingers as he was just a vision, a figment of your imagination and then he disappeared.

Cold sweats and waves of nausea resulted in you vomiting up whatever food you had managed to eat. Maria became concerned when it would happen every time you tried to eat something so even though you told her you were fine, she brought you to the doctor anyway.

Sitting in the exam room, you said to her, “I told you, I’m fine. You don’t have to worry.”

“But I am worried.” She said. “You can’t keep anything down. That’s not good, y/n.”

It felt like they had kept you waiting in that room for days, so she just sat with you, talked, and comforted you. She knew how hard all of this had been on you.

Maria had become a really good friend to you after starting your relationship with Billy. She was so happy that he finally found someone that understood him, was patient with him, and had taught him how to be in a relationship. Some days were harder than others but she did her best to try and ease your pain.

“I know it hasn’t been that long y/n, but Frank and I, even the kids, would do anything to see you smile again.” Said Maria, as she laced her fingers with yours.

You tried to give her a slight smile but immediately your eyes welled up with tears and streaked down your cheeks.

“I see him everywhere I go, every time I close my eyes, he’s there but I can’t touch him. My hand just floats through him! It’s so hard without him, Maria!” You sobbed.

She held you tightly against her as she bit back her tears.

“I know it is…ssshh, ssshhh, I know it is. I know you miss him, we all do, but we are always here for you.” She said, choking on her words.

You remembered when your grandfather passed away. The nurses told you that hearing was the last sense to leave the body so he could still hear you even if you didn’t think he could. And you remembered that in the ambulance on your way to the hospital with Billy.

Before he squeezed your hand for the last time, you whispered in his ear how much you loved him and told him he was the best thing to ever happen to you.

Then he was gone and you knew he wasn’t coming back. He died knowing he was loved which is all he ever wanted but you didn’t know if you would ever be able to process your grief. Everything was difficult. Getting out of bed, eating, taking care of yourself. It was all so painful.

Maria was still holding onto you when the doctor knocked and walked through the door. She had a kind smile and was very aware of the ordeal you had been through so her tone of voice was very gentle.

“Hi there, y/n. I’d ask you how you’re doing but I know the answer to that but I think I know why you haven’t been able to keep any food down lately.” She said.

You and Maria looked at her, very interested in what she was about to say.

“Your bloodwork came back and, well…you’re pregnant y/n.” She said with a warm smile.

As those words echoed inside your head, you suddenly became lightheaded and you were thankful that Maria was holding onto you because you could feel yourself starting to lean off of the exam table.

“I’m…pregnant?” You questioned. “A-are y-you sure? How can that be? I was on birth control.”

She shrugged. “Well you know it’s not always 100% effective. We should schedule you for an ultrasound so we know how far along you are.”

Maria cracked a smile as her tears went from sad to happy.

“Oh my god…” She said, stunned.

“Oh my god…” You replied, in return.

Billy didn’t leave you all alone after all but how were you going to do it without him?

A/N #2: I’d love to continue this, explore her grief a little more, past times with Billy, maybe the birth of the baby? What do you think?

Tag List: @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialend @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @rosaleenablack @vaguekayla @qu1etwolf @danzer8705 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf

Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @ittybxttykxttytxtty @russosafehaven @mrsbillyrusso

If you’d like to be added (or removed from) my tag list(s) for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but you didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again.

#billy russo x reader #billy russo #billy russo fanfic #billy russo imagine #billy russo x female reader #billy russo x you #Spotify

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fallinginvictus · 4 months

Text

tw: mention of Tilda and Drake

part of a scene that I wrote for something else but then just never continued

Aaron is not a reliable narrator and this is just how in the story he feels about things.

Later, Aaron wouldn't be able to recall how it came to this, how anger started simmering inside of his stomach, boiling his organs, vapour crawling under his skin, melting his flesh. He gritted his teeth then, the sound echoing inside the quiet room, his hands clenched into fists by his sides, his nails digging into his palms until they hurt, until they bled, as he tried to focus on something else, trying to keep his boiling anger from shattering his ribcage and destroying everything in its path.

They were sitting in Betsy's office, the couch soft under Aaron's weight, a smoking mug of hot chocolate sitting in front of them. Andrew was holding a blue one in his hands, Neil a yellow one. Aaron didn't want to drink her hot chocolate, he didn't want to delude himself into thinking that he was safe and warm, that he could relax and let go. Aaron didn't feel safe, didn't feel warm, his body was tense, the tips of his fingers cold.

They had been going to Betsy for a while, trying to fix what had never once been whole, their relationship but a porcelain plate found one rainy day on the side of a crowded street, shattered but pretty. How could they ever be able to fix it when they had no idea of how it had looked like when it had been whole.

Betsy's was Andrew's, he wasn't Aaron's. How could Aaron trust her judgement, how could he ever confide in her?

Whatever I say, he always thought. Whatever me and Andrew will talk about, she will always pick his side. She will always be his.

“Why is he here, anyways,” he asked when his anger hadn't yet reached the surface, interrupting Neil in the middle of a sentence.

“Do you even want to be here?” Neil spat back as he turned towards Aaron.

“With you? No.”

“Okay why don't we-”

“No,” Neil interrupted Betsy's calm voice. “Why doesn't Aaron talk for a change? It's been months of them coming here together and not once has Aaron put in any effort.”

“How would you even know?” Aaron replied as the agner started to bubble. “And why would you even care? It has nothing at all to do with you.”

“Because I actually care about Andrew and for whatever reason he seems to want to patch things up with his ungrateful and selfish brother.”

“Ungrateful?” Aaron snarled, turning sharply towards Neil.

“This is not how we do things here,” Betsy said, trying to calm them down. “Let's discuss why you think-”

“Andrew has done everything in his power to keep you safe from your mother, all he ever did was for you, to protect you because you couldn't protect yourself and yet here you still are, resenting him for it.”

“I'm sorry, should I have thanked him on my knees for killing my mother?” he asked as the boiling anger mixed with his melted organs started to rise up in his throat.

“He killed his own mother for you, he-”

“It wasn't his mother!” Aaron spat out, the words tumbling out of throat and splattering on the ground.

“Aaron-”

“She was mine. My mum,” he whispered as he got up from the couch. “He was willing to live his life in agony as Drake abused him just so that he could have a loving mother. The only reason he left was because he was scared of me getting hurt. That's what he said last time. Not to save himself, but to save me. We are the same.”

Andrew went still on the couch as the words left Aaron's mouth.

Neil chuckled humorlessly, “Don't you dare-”

“Tell the truth? He wanted a mother's love more than anything else and was willing to be subjected to the worst kind of pain just to have it. He didn't kill his mum, because Tilda was never his. She was mine,” the lump in his throat made his words come out in a chocked sound, his hands shaking as anger kept flowing in his veins. "It was easy to kill her because he never cared about her in the first place. The difficult part about your mother hurting you is that it's your own mother hurting you. That's why you don't fight back, why you don't leave, because no matter how much it hurts, she's still your mum and you still love her. It was easy for Andrew because it was just some woman. I could fight a stranger on the street if they attacked me. I didn't fight back, not because I didn't know how to fight or how to defend myself, but because I didn't want to.” A second passed. “I'm grateful that he saved me, that he risked his own life to make sure I could be safe and unharmed. But stop fucking acting as if I'm insane and pathetic for mourning my mother, for being upset that she died because of me, that-”

“She didn't die because of you,” Andrew said, the cup of hot chocolate still in his hand, his eyes on Aaron.

“She's dead because you killed her. You killed her to save me. She died because of me.”

“She died because she was a bad person who hurt her son,” Andrew said as he placed his mug on the table in front of him.

“That's irrelevant. That's not the point,” Aaron shook his head as his anger started to evaporate.

“We all made our choices. She chose to be a terrible human being, I chose to kill her. I'm not going to apologise.”

“I don't fucking want you to,” Aaron said inside a breath. “I want you and your boyfriend to stop looking down on everyone who doesn't feel the way you do, doesn't think the way you do. God forbid I loved my mother and I sometimes miss the mum who loved me. You never even met that side of her, so you have nothing to miss.”

“Aaron, Neil and Andrew don't look down on you-”

“Don't they? Don't you Neil?”

Neil stayed quiet, his brows furrowed, his lips a straight line.

“You call Kevin a coward. You act as if me being upset over my abuser dying because of me makes me pathetic, you-”

“She didn't die because of you,” Andrew said again between gritted tweeth.

“Stop focusing on that,” Aaron exploded. “That's not what matters now!”

“It matters to me,” Andrew said, his tone flat, his face unreadable.

“Why does that matter to you?” Betsy asked, her eyes turning towards Andrew.

“See?” Aaron whispered as a tear finally made its way down his cheek. “You only care about him. I just told everyone here something that matters to me and yet all that matters is what Andrew thinks, what he feels, why he feels that. I think we should stop coming here if all that we do is try to see what Andrew feels and me apologising for everything.”

#aaron minyard #andrew minyard #twinyards #betsy dobson #neil josten #aftg fanfic #aftg

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fatuismooches · 2 years

Note

So I saw you were chill with asks and stuff so I hope your okay with me just tossing all of my soft stupid dottore thoughts on you. But just you can't convince me he has a complete grasp of relationships like because of the Akademiya and the Fatui he's used to transactional relationships so he's not used to people just 🌟doing things🌟 for him because they like him and want to so he's just enamored but also confused with you when you go slightly out of your way for him

YESSSS I COMPLETELY AGREE!

As a student in the Akademiya, Zandik was used to being generally disliked, but, he was also used to the few people who would come up to him and attempt to work with him, claiming that they admired his genius. Which wasn't a lie, though they forgot to mention the part where they would try to steal his work. It would bring far too much attention to him if he took any drastic measures against these fake scholars, so he merely... scared them away, which was relatively easy. Zandik had virtually no relationships, and the ones he did were simply transactional regarding... perhaps it's better not to say.

So when you approach him to be your partner, he already knows there's only one possible way that this can go - he'll never see you again by the time he's done with you. He always manipulates people and has no remorse for doing so. Yet despite his numerous attempts, he hears a knock on his door every day from you. He's not sure if you're playing dumb on purpose or if you actually are dumb enough to not see that he's attempting to get rid of you.

Though, Dottore starts to notice that he's checking the time frequently to see if you'll knock at the time you usually do. He begins to notice when you get him coffee refills and state that you figured it'll be a long night. When someone name-called him and you almost assaulted the guy with a textbook. When you stick around despite his vehement denials of your presence, which grow weaker with every passing day.

What really hit the nail on the head was the time he offhandedly mentioned his interest in certain parts that were on sale, though they were too expensive for him right now. You looked at him thoughtfully, and the next day he did not hear the knock-knock he secretly longed to hear, which disappointed him almost disgustingly so. He wondered if he finally scared you off, which was his intent in the first place. After all, the only relationships he had room for were purely transactional ones. Any others were a scam anyway. So why did he feel like this? Yet the next day, bright and early, you banged down his door, and he was about to snap at whoever it was until you tiredly dumped a bunch of random parts into his arms, some clanging to the floor. You breezed past him and collapsed onto his bed, claiming that you did dozens of commissions yesterday and brought the stuff for him. And you were going to take a nap now, you finished.

Zandik did not know how to respond, though his agape mouth would have said it all if his mask didn't cover it. You? Did all of that work? For him? He simply could not believe it. Surely, positively, there was an ulterior motive. For the next week, he dug into you, questions and all, trying to identify something. Yet he came up empty-handed. For once in his life, he came to the fact that you did not consider this a transactional relationship. You just wanted to be with him.

Dottore was a mixture of enamored, confused, and how to go from there. He is truly baffled by this habit of yours, yet he can't help but be a bit fascinated, for how naive do you have to be to do this? Haven't you heard the rumors? Don't you know he's a monster? Yet he gets irrationally bothered when you treat others the same way. You're not supposed to do that. (He starts to drag you away before anyone tries to ask you for a favor. Only he should be able to have you. And he doesn't intend to let you go.)

#smooches talks #PLEASEE!!! send me soft dottore thoughts #(and harbinger thoughts in general theyre always amazing)#I LOVED THIS TYSM #dottore x reader #il dottore x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #dottore fluff #fatui harbingers x reader #fatui x reader

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helplessautomaton · 7 months

Note

Could I request tecchou with prompts 3 and 12? Thank you I love your work!

3 (“don't you see? I'm the only one who really cares for you”) + 12 (“please.. just let me hold you.”)

sorry for the long wait, i realize that i, in fact, have drafts that need to get done! anyways hope you enjoy this, its currently 3:30 am and my head hurty

no TWS i can think of, i think, maybe idk

Life wasn't exactly in the cards for you and anyone close to you knew that well. Your mood reflected every bit of frustration. However you tried your best to look up in the worst of it all, it's that or to the grave you go. Your poor lip had been picked at so many times, the blood staining your nails. You wondered if the skin would ever stop healing. Afterall, what's one public display of terrorism on your way to work caused by who knows, gonna do to ruin your already shit year? That's right, bring Tecchou Suehiro into it because you wanted to be heroic against your body’s wishes. It was alright for a while, he talked to you a far bit longer than the rest of the victims of the attack. You jokingly took pride in his coworker’s comment about Tecchou spending just a little longer on you. The letters came frequently, more so legal nonsense with “support” mentioned in them, then there was one from Tecchou. The name didn't click originally and the letter was almost discarded had you not kept reading down. He thanked you for your bravery and how much it takes, rolling your eyes but it did make you smile.

Applauding you for what you did that day kept circling back in your mind, something to latch onto with a heart barely full of pride. The legal letters stopped but tecchou’s letters did not, after the third letter, you wondered why he even bothered scouting out your address. Everything you felt was now sinking down into the dark blues of regret in your mind. Then the letters were not enough so he came in physically, a little cafe date then to a restaurant, then something bigger. It all became just a little too much then way too much. You used to not notice the way he would make sure you were physically okay, but you followed his eyes carefully. His questions about your health did get annoying and not comforting like they used to be. People who used to check in stopped, like they were scared but you never knew why. You got a hint that Tecchou’s behavior towards you affected his line of work. The white haired man who scoffed at Tecchou’s extended talk with you that fateful day was the same man yelling loudly at him. Forcefully taking the infatuated soldier with him while giving you mixed signals on how he felt about you, Tecchou’s expression went blank in his coworkers grasp.

The last person you talked to got exposed for horrible things, you only found out by Tecchou. Your world was falling apart in a weird way and you didn't even know why anymore. The man in question only tilted his head at your quickly distressed face, you forgot why he was even with you today. He tried to comfort you but you resisted in your scrambled up mind. Tecchou let out a sigh before speaking up, “don't you see? I'm the only one who really cares for you, i deeply care for you,” He said your name with such care in love but you were too deep in mental turmoil to even realize it. Tears quickly spouted from your eyes, while you cried out on why this was happening to you, why everyday was such a horrible day. You barely felt Tecchou’s figure try to hold you before you pulled away, your hands covering your face as you still cried. Trying to sit down on the floor but Tecchou refused to let you sink down, still desperately wanting to hold you. “please..just let me hold you. I want you to be okay.” Why can't you have an okay year?, why couldn't you have friends that weren't such horrible people? Why did it have to be you that people were afraid of? Why out of anyone did you decide to play hero? The only person who had stayed was Tecchou, it was always Tecchou.

So just this time, let him hold you.

#yandere bsd #yandere bsd x reader #bsd x reader #yandere #bsd #tecchou x reader #yandere tecchou #bsd tecchou

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dizzyjelly · 1 year

Text

Everyone Makes Mistakes

Word Count: 1.3k

Summary: ellie makes a mistake on patrol and is distraught, feeling inadequate. You reassure her and go with her when she visits Jesse who's hurt, but doing ok.

Cw: none really, pretty fluffy fic!

You lied flat on your stomach in bed, your elbows propped up as you busied yourself reading a book. There was a light breeze as you'd left your window open, because your room usually got pretty stuffy and hot. You didn't even notice Ellie at your door, the reason being she was completely silent.

However, as she tried to walk in quietly, she'd managed to knock over one of the plants on your dresser. The pot shattered on the floor, dirt going everywhere. She let out a small gasp and took a step back. You let out a scared yelp as you turned around, coming to sit at the edge of the bed. You'd gotten startled, but then furrowed your brows as you noticed Ellies state.

"Fuck" She cursed, "Sorry, I'm so sorry." She rushed out apologies as she got down to begin cleaning the mess she made.

"'S fine, that one was dying anyways." You tried to reassure her, but worry settled in your chest as you noticed the tears brimming her eyes when she stood.

"Hey, what's going on Els? C'mere." You asked softly, holding your arms out for her.

She wouldn't give in to your touch though, just standing closer to you as she hugged herself. She let out a shaky sigh and wiped the tears that began to fall down her face.

"I- I messed up." She finally managed to get out, aggresive sobs causing her body to shake now.

"Alright, well that's ok. Everyone makes mistakes. You wanna tell me what happened?" You'd ask, standing to wrap your arms around her.

But she wouldn't let you, stepping back instead and dropping her head down into her hands. You sighed, feeling like you could cry yourself just seeing her so hurt.

"I-I was on patrol with Jesse and-" She stopped as her sobs were taking over and she couldn't speak, but eventually she found her voice, "I didn't see them! It just- it happened so f-fast and now..."

The crease between your brows became more defined, you crossed your arms across your chest for some kind of comfort.

"Now what? What is it babe? You can tell me." You urged her to continue.

"H-hes in medical now. He's hurt, bad. And it's all my fault! God I'm so stupid." She let out a frustrated groan as her hands settled in her hair now, her hot tears continued to fall.

"Babe, you know that's not true. I'm sure you did all you could." You place a hand on her shoulder, trying to offer some comfort.

"Oh, please! I did jack-shit, and now he's seriously hurt! I'm never going out again, am I do is fuck things up!" She yelled now, at you because there was no one else for her to take out her anger on.

"Ellie, I know you're upset, but there's no reason to yell at me. And don't say that, you've done countless amazing things out on patrol, why should one fuck up undo all of that?" You tried to reason with her.

"I don't know, maybe because it's like the worst fuck up. Ever." She shook her head and shrugged.

"Els, honey, you're being too hard on yourself" She sighed, glancing at you as more tears fell, "Please just let me hold you." You asked kindly, and finally she caved.

Your heart ached as you felt her body shake against you, harsh sobs racking her entire body. Your arms wrapped around her loving, her own pressed against her chest tightly. As you always did to comfort her, you rubbed your hands around her back, scratching your nails against it lightly just how you knew she liked it.

"I d-dint mean to. I really didnt." She cried.

"Shh, shh, baby I know. I promise you, everything's going to be ok. I got you." You reassured her, and she felt some of the weight fall from her shoulders.

"I-I know but-" her breathing started to speed up again.

"Hey, just breathe. You gotta calm down baby." You took slow deep breaths, hoping she'd mimic you and do the same.

She did, thankfully, her breathing slowly regulating as she calmed under your touch. You felt her let out a heavy sigh before she pulled away from you slightly, you kept your hands on her waist.

"I wanna go see if he's ok, but what if he's mad at me?" She spoke worriedly.

"Baby, I doubt he's mad. I'm sure he knows you tried your best and even if he is a bit upset you can always apologize and I'm sure things will smooth over." You reassured the worried girl, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear with a smile.

"Would you go with me?" She asked, biting her lip nervously.

"Yeah of course. You ready now?" She nodded and you held her hand as the two of you made your way to medical.

Once you arrived, it was quiet and mostly empty except for one nurse sat at the front desk who greeted you with a smile.

"Hi we came to see Jesse, I know it's kinds late but we were hoping you'd make an exception." You smiled.

"Sure girls, I trust you. Just sign in here and then head down that hallway and it's the first room on the left. He might be sleeping though." She informed as she showed you her clipboard, the two of you signed in then made your way to his room.

He wasn't asleep, and Ellie swallowed nervously when she saw him all bandaged up. He looked over at her, cracking a small smile.

"Hey." His voice was low and he groaned lightly.

"Hi" tears welled in her eyes once again as she removed her hand from yours and went to stand at his bedside, "Jesse I'm so sorry." She apologized as tears ran down her face.

"Hey, it's ok. Ellie, you saved my life. I might not be in the best shape, but I'm alive because of you. Thank you." She was pleasantly surprised at his words, also feeling a wave of relief wash over her as he wasn't angry in the slightest.

"See babe, I told you." You teased her and she rolled her eyes at you before turning back to face the hurt man.

"She make you come with, Y/n?" Jesse asked, addressing you now.

"Yup, she was scared you'd be mad at her." You answered him, crossing your arms smugly as you were right that he wouldn't be.

"Aw, Williams. I'm not mad, promise. And trust me, I'll be ok, I really will. It'll take some time, but I'll get better." He reassured her and she let out a small huff, taking note of how the two of you seemed to be teaming up on her.

"Ok well, rest up big guy. I'll come to visit you tomorrow and more this week I'm sure." Ellie held his hand, giving him a smile before walking back to you, showing she was ready to head home.

"C'mon." You smiled at her as you wrapped an arm around her waist, walking home with her head rested on your shoulder.

You got there and she broke down again, sitting down at the couch as she sobbed into her hands. A sigh fell from your lips as you went to sit beside her, rubbing a hand up and down her back.

"Baby, what's wrong? He's ok and he wasn't mad." You recalled to her, unsure of why she was still upset.

"I know. I know. I'm just still shaken up and I guess these are somewhat tears of happiness, relief." She explained, leaning into you and crying into your shoulder.

"Aw, that's ok. Shh." You wrapped your arms around her, laying down as you pulled her with you to lay on top of you.

Her breath hitched slightly as she rested her head on your chest, her arms wrapping around you as she sighed against you. Your own arms wrapped around her as well, rubbing her back soothingly. Eventually she'd fall asleep in your arms and you followed shortly after. As stressful as the day was, at least it ended calmly.

#ellie williams x y/n #ellie x y/n #ellie x reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #ellie x you #ellie williams x you

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astorianyxkings · 10 months

Text

You guys ever think about how Bruce feels when one of the batlings call him Dad? Or refer to him as their dad? Or how he feels when he steps into a fatherly role for a bat?

I mean yeah its mostly done in public, Dick has always called Bruce Dad or refer to him as his father since he was old enough to go to galas. And yeah at first the word felt like nails scraping down a chalk board because Bruce isn't worth being a dad, not in his head at least. He was still in his twenties, and Dick already had a dad. One who loved him. But he tolerates the word anyway, because its just to keep up appearing right?

Nowadays, having repaired their severed relationship, Bruce wants to hear the word. He misses it but he doesn't dare ask. But when he reveals that he officially adopted Dick and he hugs him and says "I love you Dad." Bruce can't help but cry, sob quietly as he clutches his son in his arms. "I don't want to replace your father." He says, begging his voice to not waver, it doesn't listen. "You're not," Dick responds, "You're just standing on the same level as him. My dads and my mom. My parents."

When Barbara becomes Batgirl Bruce is terrified. He knows the kind of sick freaks out there, who ogle her in her Batgirl suit. It makes his blood boil the way any father's would. Except he isn't her father. She has Jim for that. And even if she's dating Dick, Bruce can't seem to figure out why he's treating her like this, why he's keeping her patrol limited, why he's texting Commissioner Gordon in panic whenever she's late. Jim laughs and says its like they're co parents and something in Bruce's heart jabs.

When she's paralyzed by the Joker Bruce isn't sure what to do. He pays her medical bills and has a back and forth with Jim, "Its my fault he found out she was Batgirl!", "He didn't, he did it because she's a Gordon! It's my fault!". Bruce crues over her in the comatose state, apologizing over and over, its his fault, his minds been made up. When she becomes Oracle there's nothing he wouldn't do to accommodate her. Barbara may not legally be his daughter, but she kind of it his first daughter.

When Jason comes around and starts calling Bruce dad at galas, he's more comfortable around the word. He can be a dad to Jason, Jason didn't get to have a good dad but Bruce bought a parenting book (What to Expect when Moving from Raising One Kid to Two) and he's handling it. But then he dies and Bruce is met with the guilt of knowing that he failed his son. Because even though Dick was his ward and first born, Jason was the first one he was okay with referring to as a son.

And then he came back and Bruce is no longer dad. He's B or Old Man. Its better than "the asshole who let me die" so he'll take what he can get. Except once at a gala Jason has a bit of a Freudian slip and refers to Bruce as his dad and he leaves the room to burst into tears. Jason doesn't hate him and while he's grateful part of his mind knows he should. He deserves to be hated, Jason is just too much of a good person to do it. But it doesn't matter, Jason's still his son and his heart still stutters whenever he's reminded of that. Jason is his son, his boy.

When he meets Tim, Bruce is scared all over again. He doesn't want to be Tim's dad. Tim already has a dad—and in Bruce's self loathing mind, a neglectful father is still better than whatever impersonation of a dad he could be. But Tim is stubborn, he latches on and somewhere along the lines after his emancipation, Bruce realizes that he's Tim's dad. And he wants to be Tim's dad. And he won't fail Tim the way he did Dick or Jason, he made too many mistakes with them.

Tim sometimes feels out of place. Bruce doesn't know why, he belongs into their family (cult as Jason says affectionately) and Bruce will always remind him of that. Tim is his son and Bruce will never get over that, he gets to see this boy grow up to be great. And maybe when Tim's sleep deprived he calls Bruce dad, but thats between him, Tim and the tear stained pillow on Bruce's bed.

And then there's Steph. Stephanie Brown forced her way into the Batfamily by dating Tim and even after they broke up, she's not leaving. And Bruce doesn't want her to. She's made it clear she doesn't want to be a Wayne officially, she's fine just being Steph. Except, Bruce kind of thinks Steph is like his daughter too. She's not just some random girl he finds overly bubbly, her bubbliness reminds him if Dick, her street smarts remind him of Jason. But despite that Steph is so unique. And even if she has a dad, Bruce can't help it. He personally decorated a room at the manor for her, had it painted purple and everything. Steph might not be a Wayne by name, but she is in everything else. And Bruce is kind of okay with that.

And then there's the two kids who refer to him as their dad all the time.

Cassandra Cain becomes Cassandra Wayne and she never looks back. She rarely speaks, she's content with sign language and you best believe the rest of the family learns it to communicate with her comfortably. But something in Bruce's heart flutters when she refers to him as Dad. When she signs about one of her dance recitals, Don't forget dad! Or when she's bragging and boasting at a gala about him, My dad's not like that! He's really nice!

And then there's Damian. He couldn't run away from being his father if he wanted to. Which he doesn't. Damian called him Father, rather stiffly for the first two years together. But then one day he's talking to Jon and Bruce isn't trying to eavesdrop but he's not perfect do he does and he hears Damian refer to him as Baba and he almost trips over his own feet. Damian, ever the observer, notices him immediately and then he's suddenly calling him Baba more often, Baba I'm going to walk Titus or Baba, Grayson is trying to hug me again. Doesn't matter the context, hearing Damian utter the endearment makes his heart melt every damn time.

But when Duke rolls around, heartbroken and unfairly orphaned, Bruce is terrified all over again. He's not ready to force Duke into accepting him as a father, Duke has a dad. Bruce doesn't want to replace him. But Duke, much like Tim, latches on. He needs a father. He needs one to guide him, to help him forge his own path. And Bruce can't help himself. He's a father. He's Dukes father.

Bruce being a dad but hating himself for it while loving his kids but hating that he's forced to be their dad because the world was cruel to them.

#dc comics #batfam #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #barbara gordon #tim drake #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #damian wayne #duke thomas #Bruce was made to be a dad #and hes a damn good one #i dont care what canon says they can kiss my ass with their abusive bruce bullshit #this man is a PROUD father #the only person in his family he hates is himself #seriously his self esteem is absolute shit get this man a therapist my god #bruce hating himself bc he thinks hes an unworthy father is such a huge hyperfixation for me

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9firefly9 · 5 months

Text

Can finally breathe

Part one

@cruulsummer Here! This fic is for you, since you asked for a second part😊. I’m extremely glad you asked for a second part because I had a lot of fun writing this! Thank you for leaving a comment on my previous post! It made me so happy to see how much you enjoyed my story.

Raven hasn’t seen Beast Boy in hours. Nobody has.

She starts to feel worried when lunch time rolls by and Beast Boy doesn’t even come to grab some food. Usually he would be running to be the first one at the table.

She starts to pace nervously around the hall connecting all their bedrooms. She picks at the skin around her nails; a nervous habit she’s never been able to get rid of.

If no one has seen Beast Boy recently, then he is most likely in his room. Nobody has been in his room today and everyone has already done other activities around the rest of the Tower. So, if he was lurking somewhere other than his room he would have been found by now.

Hesitantly, Raven walks up to Beast Boy’s door and knocks. The knock stings her knuckles where her skin had made contact with the door and she focuses on that instead of how long Beast Boy is taking to answer.

After a minute with no answer Raven knocks again, but this time louder.

It takes three tries for the door to open. Raven sighs in relief, but that relief soon turns back into worry when she sees Beast Boy’s face.

His eyes are red and puffy, his face looks splotchy, and his nose is a deep red as if he had been crying only seconds ago.

“Hi, Raven.” Beast Boy says, trying to smile for her, but it comes across more of a grimace.

Raven can tell he’s trying to act as if he’s okay. Trying to seem nonchalant, but Raven can easily see right through it. She’s pretty sure anyone could see through it right now.

“Can I come in?” She asks, a hint of worry in her tone.

Beast Boy looks nervous at the idea but moves aside to let her in anyway.

Raven walks in and sees the messy bed, floor covered in clothes, and video games scattered everywhere. But that’s nothing new. If it weren’t for Beast Boy’s features, Raven wouldn’t even know he’d been crying.

Raven sits down on his bed and watches as Beast Boy lingers by the door, unsure of what to do.

Raven looks at Beast Boy for a minute, staring at him like she’s trying to solve a puzzle, before patting the spot beside her on the bed. An invitation to come sit next to her.

Refusing to make eye contact with her Beast Boy continues to stare at the floor as her walks over and sits down.

They sit like that for a while in silence, Beast Boy sniffling occasionally until Raven asks…

“What’s wrong?”

Beast Boy lets out a sad laugh and shakes his head.

“You’re gonna laugh at me if I tell you.” Beast Boy says, grimacing as if she’s already started laughing.

“No I’m not. What is it?” Raven reassures him. Why would she laugh if whatever it is was making him cry?

“Raven… I really like you.” Beast Boy says slowly, looking at her cautiously. “And not like ‘you’re my best friend’ type of like, more a ‘I wish I could date you’ type of like.”

Raven could see the tears forming in Beast Boy’s eyes as he spoke.

“I like you a lot and wish you liked me the same way. But I know you never will, and that’s fine! I just wish I never had these feelings in the first place! ‘Cause now you’re probably gonna hate me and leave because you’ll be disgusted and-“

“Beast Boy.” Raven says, grabbing Beast Boy’s face in her hands so he can look her in the eyes. “I’m not disgusted, and why would you assume I don’t like you back if I’ve never said anything like that before?”

Beast Boy stared at her with confusion as tears poured down his cheeks.

“What?” He asks.

“I would also like to go on a date with you.” Raven says softly. “I’ve just been too scared to say anything, and I’m sorry about that.”

Raven watches as the sad look on Beast Boy’s face turns into one of relief and joy, before he suddenly wraps his arms around her in a hug.

Raven lets out a gasp at the sudden motion, but hugs him back immediately after.

“How would you feel about going to the Movies for our first date?” Beast Boy asks as he pulls back.

Raven scrunches her face up in disgust. “Nah, too cheesy.”

Beast Boy chuckles at her response.

“What if we went to that new Café that opened up downtown? It looks nice.” Raven suggests instead.

“Alright, let’s do that!” Beast Boy says, excitement in his eyes.

Raven smiles at him, happy to see that bright look in his eyes return. She hates when it’s not there.

“Okay.” She responds letting out a giggle that has Beast Boy blushing, and Raven can’t help but think how cute he looks.

#9firefly9 #fanfic #fanfiction #writing #fic writing #happy ending #tooth rotting fluff #light angst #bbrae #raven x beast boy #bbrae fanfiction #requested #request

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suchathrilltobeagirl · 5 months

Text

From my FIRST book (!), Night and Day ...

My First Date with a guy - Part Two

It was a Friday and I spent the best part of an afternoon getting ready! I can fully appreciate why it takes women such a long time to get ready; there is so much to do!

The bath is where a lot of this took place, with me wanting to remove all traces of hair from my legs, armpits and face and redo my 'bikini line', just in case! I also wanted to smell good, so I was using perfumed body scrubs, soaps, shampoo and conditioner. After my bath, I had a cup of coffee in my bathrobe, contemplating what I needed to do next. Nails!

I spent the best part of an hour manicuring my fingernails and toenails, applying nail varnish (guys, you need to understand how tricky this is and how long it takes for that 'polished' look!). Once my nails were done, it was time to start thinking wardrobe; what to wear on the outside, what to wear on the inside (undies!), accessories, shoes. I have to tell you that my wardrobe is full of lovely clothes; dresses, skirts, jackets, tops, blouses. This was no easy task!

Harry had requested I wear a lovely embossed gold dress that he had seen me wear in some of my photos but this dress is so short and, not knowing how far I would have to walk from the car to his office, in the interests of public decency, I decided to take the gold dress with me but wear another outfit for the journey down and into his office. I decided to wear a lovely blue 'sparkly' dress which has a matching bolero jacket. Still quite a short dress but not as short as the gold one Harry wanted me to wear! The dress itself is short and has spaghetti straps which defined my choice of underwear (to include strapless bra), tights (dress too short for stockings or hold ups!) and shoes (black high heeled open-toed sandals).

Stepping into that outfit was so exciting for me; I was going to be with a man! He would see me in this outfit, I would need to do my best girly walk in 3-inch heels, keep my knees together or legs crossed, act as a woman; hopefully he would like what he saw and we would be able to interact as man and woman. This was the most amazing thought!

I applied my make up ever so carefully, I wanted to look perfect for Harry; his first impression of me had to be 'wow'! Finally, I put my wig on and spent the best part of half an hour standing and sitting in front of the mirror; looking at me from all sides, to make sure I had created the illusion of my being a woman for Harry. After four hours of preening, I was ready . . . I now had to walk to my car, get in and drive off without being noticed by my neighbours!

Standing outside my house, locking my door, I felt the cold wind blowing up my skirt and between my legs. I felt my skirt 'ruffle' in the breeze. I shivered. I shivered because I was cold, because I was scared and because I was so excited! So what if someone saw me? I was and looked every inch a woman! I walked to my car, got in and started the most amazing drive of my life.

I forgot to mention that, as I walked to my car, one of my neighbour's security lights came on! It was like a floodlight and I froze not knowing whether to head back to the safety of my house or get in my car. Unless I made it to the car, I wouldn't be with a guy that night and that was the decider!

I got in my car, started the engine and pulled out of my driveway. To this day, I don't know if any of my neighbours spotted me but, as I say, to all intents and purposes I was a girl and they may have thought nothing of it if they had? It’s funny, I was actually hoping someone would spot me, I almost wanted to be caught as then my story would be OUT to all of my neighbours and I could be more open with them, like sunbathing in the garden with my bikini on, you know the drill!

Anyway, back to the date. I had driven many times while fully dressed but never on a motorway (aka freeway) . I figured I would be all right because no one looks at anyone while they are driving; no one takes any interest in other drivers, do they? Even if that is true, if there's anything you can almost count on while driving on a motorway, it's traffic congestion. I was OK while driving along, overtaking people, switching lanes, etc. but when I had to stop in the middle lane with people in cars literally a few feet away from me on either side, I was terrified! I daren't look to my right or to my left. Even the guy in front was looking in his rear view mirror! Here I was, fully made up, with flowing locks; I wondered what he thought of what he saw. Again, like most of us girls-born-boys, I lacked confidence in the amount of time I had taken with my makeup, I wasn't sure my hair looked right. But of course it did. People around me clearly thought I was a girl and this did wonders for my confidence!

As I came off the motorway and approached the town where Harry lived, I realized that I didn't really know where I was going. My SatNav had me heading right into town. Harry had mentioned a car park not far from his office. I was thinking 'how far is not far’? Harry worked in the centre of town, how far was I going to have to walk from my car to his office? There would be people about, could I cope with that? I was panicking! On the outskirts of town, I parked for a moment to check my hair and makeup (so difficult in those visor mirrors!). I then continued my journey until the lady on my SatNav announced that I had reached my destination.

TO BE CONTINUED

Katie xxx

#just a girl #night and day

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imagine-perfect-life-with-him · 2 years

Text

Grammy’s 2023

A/N: So I’m no writer and haven’t written anything in years. I had this tumblr though at one point where I was trying to write out the perfect love story. Somewhere along the way I have lost inspiration to write it out although I’ve been living it out in my dreams all this time. I love Harry with all my heart to the point where it sometimes scares me how much you can adore someone you’ve never met and probably never will.

Anyway Grammy’s inspired me again and put such a story in my head that I knew I had to write down. It took me some time and it’s not perfectly written but here it is. So I hope somebody will enjoy it.

Also I decided to write is as a continuation of the story I have started here all those years ago so that’s why it has a name of Harry’s partner rather than Y/N.

Grammy's 2023

I woke up to the bell ringing, followed by my two daughters' excited screams saying hi to their grandma.

It must be so late since Harry's mum is already here and I'm just waking up. I rolled on the side and grabbed my phone from the bedside table to check the time, finding out that it was indeed already noon.

Harry must have woken up before the girls since I wasn't woken by one of them slipping into our bed like they usually do.

I got up, wrapped myself in my favorite silk robe and went downstairs, where I was met with Ellie, Daisy and Anne sitting by the dining table making plans for their evening together.

'Mommy' Ellie our oldest exclaimed. ' Nana's here and she said we can have ice cream when we watch daddy on TV'

'Yeah ay cream' the 2 year old baby joined in excitement

'Oh she did? ' I made a surprised face before adding ' Good thing I bought your favorite then' I winked at Anne while girls were jumping to the news.

'Hello darling' Anne greeted me and came up for a hug

'Hi' I smiled wrapping her in my arms ' Do you happen to know where Harry is? ' I asked but before she could answer two strong hands wrapped around my waist.

'Morning Sleepyhead' Harry said into my ear 'You ready for a big day? '

'Morning ' I said turning around to leave a quick kiss on his lips 'can't wait'

'Good cuz everyone is going to be here soon and the chaos will begin' he smirked

We were supposed to be getting ready at a hotel way closer to where the ceremony is taking place but the girls were so bummed they couldn't go to watch daddy perform that we decided to at least have them around for getting ready so they could see our outfits and all.

Just as Harry said not longer than 20 minutes later people started showing up at our doorstep. A make-up artist mostly for me but to touch up my husband as well, Lambert with his whole crew who brought all of our outfits for tonight, Sigourney to do both our nails, caters with ton of food, Anthony to photograph the getting ready part and so many more people that I didn't even know what exactly their part in all of this was.

'Daddy! Daddy! ' both girls run to Harry who was having his nails done while my hair was being done. 'Can Sig do our nails to with your purple polish? Pretty please' Ellie looked up at him with her infamous puppy eyes.

'I don't know if there will be time bugs' he said and put frowns on their faces

' I don't mind doing it' Sigourney said looking at me ' if that's okay with you guys'

'Sure' I said ' let them have their fun babe' I told to Harry

' But nails only, don't even think about make up' he chuckled trying to hold a serious face so they knew he wasn't joking which only made me laugh.

‘Guys! Announcement!’ Jeff says excitedly ‘Harry’s House just won its first Grammy! Best Engineered Album! Congrats man!’ he adds coming up to Harry to give him a hug while everybody cheers

‘Congratulations babe!’ I yell from across the room, not being able to get up from make-up chair.

Jeff decides it calls for celebration and pours everyone some Champaign.

It was 2 hours later, everyone almost ready, Harry is downstairs getting dressed with his stylist's help and Anne is helping me in our bedroom while Ellie and Daisy watch.

It wasn't easy picking my outfit, I wanted to match with Harry but at the same time it was hard not to clash with him since he is wearing such a colorful and sparkly at the same time jumpsuit. In the end I decided to eliminate color but match by also going sparkly.

'You look stunning sweetie' Anne compliments me when I'm all dressed.

'Sooo pleety' Daisy joins her Nana while Ellie just holds her tiny hand over her mouth in shock.

'I want to be as pretty as you mummy when I'm big' she finally exclaims making my heart so full.

'You're already even prettier now' I tell her while leaning down to hug her. 'Okay. Are you ladies ready to see what your dad is wearing? '

'S he dressed funny again? ' Ellie asks making Anne and me erupt in laughter.

'You'll have to judge on your own bug'

We make our way down and as if he had been waiting for us Harry is looking directly in our direction.

'Oh my! ' he says looking me up and down and gesturing for me to spin around ' aren't you looking breathtaking my love'

'Not so bad yourself ' I smirk coming up to him and stealing a quick kiss. 'However you have to wait for the big judges verdict ' I laugh looking at out babies.

Daisy runs up to us and starts touching Harry's outfit, examining all the crystals. Ellie though taps her tiny lip and acts like she's thinking really hard about what she thinks of his outfit choice.

'Ells what do you think? ' Harry finally asks her

' A little funny' she decides and everyone in the room starts laughing. ' but I like' she adds

‘Thank goodness. ' Harry acts relieved ' we're safe Lambert' he jokes ' you got me worried there darling, thought I would have to change. '

'Can stay like that ' she says with a serious look on her face.

'Guys we should be leaving' Jeff comes into the room with a phone to his ear. ' the driver is pulling up '

'Anthony! Could you please snap a photo of me and my girls? ' Harry asks his photographer before calling the little ones and me to take place next to him.

We take a few photos, Anne also joins in for a few and then it's really time to leave. But not before some really hurt looks from our babies who don't want us to leave.

' Be good for grandma. ' I kneel to look at my babies ' And go on wish your daddy good luck and tell him you love him ' I whisper to them which makes them spring across the room to Harry latching onto his legs

'Good luck daddy!’

‘Oh thank you my loves’ Harry kneels down to them and gives them both a kiss. ‘Be good for grandma and watch out for daddy on TV’

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Red carpet was crazy as always. I have so much respect for all those celebrities that do this all the time. You would think that doing it with my husband by my side would be easier but he gets yelled at so badly. It’s like the photographers can’t get a picture of him without screaming his name on top of their lungs first.

Since Harry is not the biggest fan of red carpets as well, after like 2 minutes of having our pictures taken separately he waits up for me and takes my hand to guide us inside after a few shots of us side by side.

Straight from the carpet we go to our backstage room, where the band is chilling as well as some more of our friends. We say hi to everyone and Harry changes into his second outfit.

‘Don’t you look good Mister’ I wrap my arms around his neck and say directly into his lips before going in for a kiss. He slides his arms around my waist, pulling me as close as possible to his body.

‘Thank you darling’

‘Okay lovebirds, let’s go’ Jeff calls for us.

We untangle from each other but Harry keeps my hand in his as we make our way to our table.

We say hello to a few people, including Lizzo and Adele who happen to sit at the table next to ours.

The ceremony starts with Bad Bunny performance to which Harry and I dance in our seats like almost everyone since his music makes it impossible to sit still. After that Trevor Noah starts his monologue while walking across the tables and surely at one point he stops by ours and talks about Harry.

‘Harry Styles is here tonight everybody!’ he announces which makes everyone from the upper seats cheer and Harry gives a quick wave at the camera. ‘ I mean what can you say about this man that hasn’t been said huh?’ he continues ‘Incredible album, mind blowing tour. 15 night run at MSG and the Forum. Woman throw their panties at this man, then he puts them on and he looks better in them than they do’ that makes me cringe and I see Harry shaking his head too. ‘Easily the worlds sexiest man! Are you kidding me?! There’s no competition! Sex symbol of the globe! Especially now since they killed the green M&M!’ he adds before walking away to find his next victim.

‘So much more than just a great body love’ I lean into Harry and whisper into his ear, knowing how uncomfortable Trevor’s comments made him feel.

‘Thank you. Love ya’ he smiles at me and gives me a quick kiss.

The first category that is announced is the Best Pop Vocal Album, in which Harry’s House is actually nominated. Jenifer Lopez comes on stage to announce the winner. Harry squeezes my hand in his and keeps them in his lap as we impatiently wait to find out who won.

‘And the Grammy goes to... Harry’s House Harry Styles!!’ she reads out.

Without dropping my hand Harry covers his face, shocked at what has just happened. Tom, Tyler and Jeff all go crazy, as well as Lizzo at the next table.

‘You won babe!’ I finally exclaim looking at Harry who uncovers his face and looks at me with pure happiness in his eyes. ‘You got it!’ I add when he cups my face in his hands and kisses me passionately. ‘I love you so much, go on collect your prize’ I tell him once we separate. Unable to say anything he lets go of me and goes to the stage with Tom and Tyler to get his award and I go to hug Jeff as we both say how fucking great it is.

‘Thank you so much.’ Harry starts his speech ‘This album from start to finish has been one of the greatest experiences in my life. From making it with two of my best friends to playing it to people has been the greatest joy I could ask for. So I wanna thank Rob, Jeffery, Tommy, Tom, Tom and Tyler and everyone who inspired this album, everyone, my friends who supported me through it. And most importantly I want to thank my incredible wife, Rosalie and our amazing daughters, Eliie, Daisy I love you! Thank you so much, I wouldn’t be there without you.’

My eyes water listening to him talk and I know our babies are going crazy at home hearing their dad talk about them on TV.

Harry comes back only after his performance, he has lost in some categories but the biggest one Album of the Year is still to be announced.

He keeps repeating how he’s already so happy to have won even one but I know how much it would mean to him to be distinguished like that.

So when Trevor comes up on stage to announce the winner of this category, I can see Harry tense up and feel him squeeze my thigh tighter. And the moment the host walks up to Rhina, Harry’s fun, I exchange knowing look with Jeff just as the lady reads out ‘Harry! Harry Styles’.

‘Oh my god!! Babe you did it! You did it!’ I scream on top of my lungs, getting up from my seat and almost shaking Harry as he has his head in between his hands. ‘You won!’ I say one more time when he gets up and wraps his arms around me. ‘I am so incredibly proud of you’ I add.

‘Thank you for everything’ he says looking deeply into my eyes before going for a kiss. Too soon for my liking I have to let go of him and watch as he goes on stage.

The first thing he does is give his fan such a tight hug I worry he might crush her. And then he gives the most beautiful speech that leaves me crying my eyes out.

‘Shit...shit! Man!... I’ve been so inspired by every artist in this category with me. A lot of different times in my life I listened to everyone in this category. I think that on nights like that it’s obviously so important to remember that there is no such thing as best in music. i don’t think any of us sits in the studio thinking, making decisions based on what is gonna get us one of these. This is really, really kind. I’m so so grateful. I would also like to take a moment to thank one more time my wife. Rose I wouldn’t be standing there if it wasn’t for you. I couldn’t do it if it wasn’t for your constant support. I know life with me, especially during periods when I’m working on new music and touring with it, is very demanding and so I’m so grateful for your understanding and patience. Also thank you for being the best mom to our daughters, for taking the best care of them when I have to be away from you and for always making sure they know how much I love them even when I’m not there to tell them myself. As well as for packing them up and jumping on a plane with them to meet me on the other side of the world when you notice how much I miss my babies. I couldn’t wish for a better partner to walk through life with and share those one in a lifetime moments with. So this award is for You. I love you. ‘

I was not kidding when I said I was bawling my eyes out listing to Harry speak. Jeff had to hold me up when we were walking backstage because I was so emotional. And as soon as I walked through the door that had “Harry Styles” written on them I run straight into Harry’s arms.

‘Love? What happened? Why are you covered in tears?’ Harry asked pulling me slightly away from himself to get a better look at me.

‘Why?! It’s your fault! What were you expecting saying all those beautiful words up there?’

‘Ohh... that’s what got you so emotional.’ he pulled me closer to him again ‘Well I meant every single thing that I said. I don’t tell you often enough how much I appreciate you.’

‘I love you’ I whispered ‘And now kiss me before someone steals you from me because I can already see a line of people wanting to congratulate you’ I asked him and he did just that before allowing other people in the room to have his attention.

I took this opportunity to text Anne and get started with our secret plan. Well almost secret as I had to include several people to help me pull it off.

To Anne:

He did it!!! Did the girls see his speech?

From Anne:

I knew he would!! They did! Got so excited too! I filmed it , I'll send it to you.

To Anne :

send it to Harry. I don't want him looking at my messages with you to not ruin the surprise

To Anne:

Btw the plan is on, you can start getting them ready, I'm calling the driver now so he should pick you guys up in like half an hour.

From Anne:

sounds great! See you soon!

Just as I put my phone away, Harry's that has been in my purse signaled incoming text, I checked it and it was in fact video from Anne of Ellie and Daisy watching Harry's win announced.

'Babe, your mum texted you girls reaction to your speech. ' I told Harry handing him his phone.

He took it and straight away played the recording in which Ellie was telling her younger sister to keep her fingers crossed so daddy wins this big award, Daisy screaming 'Daddy! Mummy! ' when Harry and I were shown on TV and then, them jumping up and down while saying that they daddy won and that he is the bestest.

I looked over at my husband who had tears in his eyes. Oh he has no idea what's coming, I smirk to myself.

Harry is soon taken to do a few interviews and have some photos, with his trophies, taken. All while I'm constantly texting Anne to know where they are. Just as Harry sits down for more pictures I hear Anne trying to talk as quiet as possible, telling the girls to not talk so they can surprise their daddy. They are very good at being silent up to the point when they notice me and they can't stop themselves from calling for me. I quickly bring my forefinger to my lips showing them to be really quiet. However when they bring those tiny baby hands to cover their mouths I almost burst out laughing.

I make sure Harry is to busy to notice what's going on and walk up to my babies. I give them the biggest hug and kisses before taking them to follow me and go up to Harry when I tell them. We make our way to stand almost behind the photographer, from the corner of my eye I see Jeff giving Anthony a sign to get ready to snap some shots to get Harry's reaction to seeing his daughters.

'Okay girls, you can go up to daddy and surprise him' I smile at Ellie and Daisy.

They have the biggest smiles on their faces and their eyes sparkle with excitement as they pass the photographer and get in his way.

Harry notices them straight away and gasps in disbelief.

'What?! What are you doing here my loves?! ' he embraces them with his arms, leaving two statues he's been holding on the bench.

‘You win! ' our younger screams and claps her hands. 'And we saw you sing on TV with granny, and you and mummy' Ellie says excited 'And uncle Jeff and Tom... And, and aunt Lizz' Daisy adds

'Oh my goodness. You saw everyone babies' Harry laughs.

'You! ' he points a finger at me 'You cheeky minx. I don't even imagine how you managed to sneak them into freaking Grammy's. '

'Well I did have a lot of people involved into making that happen. ' I answer ' And it was only possible because you have so many people who love you and wanted to help make you happy'

'Get over here' he orders and as soon as I'm within his reach he wraps his arms around me, brings his lips to my ear and says 'I'm soo very happy. Thank you. You're the best I love you' he kisses me passionately.

Anthony takes some pictures of the four of us and two Grammy statues, of Harry and the girls, us four and Anne and just Harry and Anne.

‘So I promised Ellie and Daisy that they will come with us to get some dinner but then your mum is taking them back home so we can go to the after party.’ I tell Harry when we are in a bathroom together changing into our after party outfits.

‘Sounds like a plan’ he says ‘However I would be just as happy if we went back home with them and ordered some takeaway’

‘Oh I know you would but that’s not gonna happen.’ I tell him as I come closer to him. wrap my arms around his neck and look into his eyes before continuing ‘And I’ve got another surprise... after the after party we will go to the hotel where I have booked a room for us so we can celebrate my three times Grammy winner husband.’

‘Is that so?’ he smirks

‘Mhmm... You most certainly deserve a proper celebration’

‘Tell me more and we’ll be skipping the after party and going straight to that hotel’ he says before kissing me hard.

Before we can get too into the kiss we hear a knock on the door followed by Daisy’s voice asking for her parents.

We finish getting dressed before coming out and following everyone to the cars that are waiting to take us to Harry’s favorite Italian restaurant.

The entire way to the restaurant Ellie and Daisy are talking nonstop, telling Harry how they were watching him in TV, that they saw mommy and daddy kiss and heard him saying that he loves them. How much they liked his performance and assure him that no one could tell when he tells them about the turn table incident. They also don’t forget to mention how granny was crying when he was saying how much he loves mommy.

‘By the way how much they talk it’s very obvious that they are your kids Harry’ Jeff laughs at some point from the front seat.

Once in the restaurant we order more food that we could possibly eat and celebrate Harry in a small circle of his closest people.

Daisy and Ellie devour their favorite margarita pizzas and beg us to have some dessert. Obviously Harry could not say no to his girls so they finish the meal with a big portion of chocolate cake.

After finishing dinner it’s time to head to the party and for girls to go back home.

‘Mommy! Daddy not leave’ Daisy tears up as we begin to put them in a car with Anne. ‘want cuddle in bed’ she says with those damn puppy eyes

‘Babe, how about we drop by home on our way, put girls to sleep and then head out?’ Harry asks looking at me with pleading eyes

‘It’s your night Harr, we can do whatever you want’ I lean into him and give him a peck on the cheek. ‘As long as I get you to myself at the end of the night’

‘Someone is very eager to get me out of my clothes. Aren’t you?’ he whispers into my ear with a smirk

‘You look so hot in them that you could very well stay in them while you fuck me’ I reply

‘Damn! You weren’t joking when you said how much you love me in suits.’ he almost moans. ‘As much as I can’t wait for that, let’s go home and put our ladybugs to sleep.’ he adds and guides me back to the car where our daughters are already strapped in their car seats.

‘Okay lovies. How about mommy and daddy go home with you and put you to sleep and then go to their party?’ he asks them ‘Does that sound like a good plan?’

‘Yes! Yes!’ they exclaim and we get in the car with them after informing Jeff that we will join him and the rest in about 2 hours.

When at home Anne insists she gives Ells and Daisy a bath so Harry and I don’t mess up our outfits. Soon they emerge from their en suit bathroom and join us in their bedroom. We give them each a kiss before I slip into Ellie’s bed with her and Harry cuddles with Daisy. They insist on reading their favorite princess book to which their father happily obliges.

Not later than half an hour later both our angels are peacefully asleep. Carefully not to wake them we sneak out but have to admire them a little before we leave the room for good.

We go downstairs to where Anne is sitting on the couch in the living room.

‘They’re down already?’ she asks and I nod ‘All the emotions of the day must’ve tired them out pretty badly then’

‘Good it went this way cuz I was scared they wouldn’t be able to fall asleep, going through all the events of their night’ I chuckle

‘True’ she agrees ‘Now you go out, enjoy the rest of the night and I will take care of my grandbabies’

‘Thank you Mum for staying with them’ Harry comes up to her and gives her a kiss on the cheek. ‘We’ll try to be back as early as possible tomorrow’

‘Oh don’t you rush, we will be fine here and I’ll most certainly enjoy some more alone time with them.’

‘Okay we will be in touch then’

‘Great. Have fun you two!’

‘Thank you Anne’ I smile at her and we leave the house, get into the car that has been waiting for us and get to the after party.

I don’t even know who is hosting this party but it’s packed with A-listed celebrities. That being the reason why my husband is very quickly stolen from me to get introduced to many people and have pictures with them taken. I thankfully run into Claudia Sulewski who I met at Coachella last year and hung out with a few times ever since.

We catch up, chat and have a drink until I see Harry approaching us.

‘There you are!’ he says standing behind me and embracing me with his arms. ‘Hi Claudia’ he greets her

‘Hi Harry! Congrats on your big win! Well deserved’ she praises

‘Thank you!’

‘Okay I gotta go find Fineas but it was lovely to see you again and catch up!’

‘Yeah! Say hi to Fineas and Billy from us! I tell her and she walks away

‘So are you done with official part of this party?’ I turn to look at Harry. ‘Met everyone you had to meet? Had all the pictures taken?’ I smirk

‘I guess’ he confirms. ‘Why? You ready to ditch and get naked?’ I burst out in laughter

‘Not yet Mister’ I put my arms around his neck ‘First we will party properly since I don’t even remember when we last had a night out like that’ I tell him ‘I want to dance until my legs can’t hold me up anymore!’ I exclaim

‘Sounds like a plan’ he chuckles ‘Also heard there is going to be karaoke at some point’

‘You’ve got to be kiddin. We are so singing something!’ I beam.

We both love karaoke. Harry for an obvious reason and me well I think almost every little girl wanted to be a singer at some point. I cannot sing for a life of god though however it never stops me from having lots of fun doing it.

We do exactly as we said. Dance, sing our usual “Time of my life” together and then Harry sings more with some other people while I dance some more. There is a lot of alcohol involved but not to the point where any of us is drunk unconscious.

It’s around 3 am as we arrive at the hotel that I booked us so we could have some time just the two of us because that was something we didn’t do in a long time with Harry’s crazy schedule and probably won’t be getting again soon considering that the tour will continue in like 2 weeks.

The suite is amazing with huge bed and a big bathroom in front of it separated only by a see through glass wall. There is a huge shower as well as a humongous bath with Jacuzzi settings.

A/N: There might be a part two but I just needed to get this out for now.

Let me know what you thought!

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