#anyway this is me saying this fandom should be more aware of the musical

[shadowsong26x]

And after all this time, I'll wash my hands of your charade and celebrate your fall from grace, preserve that sad look on your face; and praise what God might manifest Himself in beings such as us. For vengeance that, at last, is mine comes sweetly after all this time. [After All This Time]

[laiqualaurelote]

Oooh! Charles/Edwin, musicians/band/orchestra AU for the ask game? :D

thank you for the prompt! (from this AU ask game - it turned out more a Crystal POV but I think the fandom could use more of that)

“Edwin,” says Crystal, “if you take the fucking theorbo onstage I will kill you myself.”

Edwin folds his arms mutinously around the theorbo, which when stood upright on the ground is nearly as tall as he is. “But we need it for the sound!”

“You literally have a billion other instruments! Play those instead.”

“I do not literally have a billion instruments,” says Edwin. “I literally have three. Are we to have lugged the theorbo all the way to the club for nothing?”

“You did not lug the theorbo here,” Crystal points out. “Charles lugged the theorbo here, because he carries all your shit for you.”

“‘Course I do,” says Charles brightly. “Don’t bother me one bit.”

“Charles, you had to push his harpsichord all the way across Hoxton!”

“And the people of Hoxton loved it,” says Charles nostalgically.

Crystal sighs. “Either that theorbo is going onstage or I am, because there isn’t enough space on there for both of us. Literally.”

“I could stand on an amp,” ventures Niko, “and then there would be more room?”

“Niko, honey, you’re not standing on an amp.”

The door bangs open and Jenny sticks her head into the dressing room. “Why are you guys not ready?”

“Crystal and Edwin haven’t decided if we’re bringing out the theorbo yet,” says Niko. “Also, I’m still doing Edwin’s nails, and he can’t play until they’ve dried.”

Jenny throws her hands up in despair. “Why does Edwin have to have his nails done?”

“I think lilac really is his colour,” murmurs Niko, crouched over Edwin’s left ring finger. “Don’t you agree?”

Edwin, who is sitting primly on a flight case in the three-piece suit he insists on wearing to every show, gives Jenny a regal nod of assent.

“For fuck’s sake,” mutters Jenny. “I should never have agreed to manage you idiots. I could have had all my Friday nights in bed with a crime drama.” She inhales. “Anyway, we have a problem. David’s here. He’s in the front row.”

The world narrows. Crystal hates how just the sound of his name can do that to her, for all that it’s been months since she got out from under his thumb. “How’d he know—”

“I did put it all over Instagram,” says Niko anxiously. “Crystal, do you want to cancel, or—”

“No,” hisses Crystal. “No. I can do this. It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Crystal,” says Edwin, “with all due respect, you are not fine. You are shaking.”

Crystal puts her head in her hands. “It’ll pass.”

She feels Niko’s arms go around her. Overhead, she hears Charles say: “Maybe I should just go out there now and knock his lights out.”

“Or I could stab him,” offers Jenny. “I’ve got the boning knife in the van.”

“We are not knifing my ex right before a show!” yells Crystal.

“Thomas could sort it out,” suggests Edwin. “It is his club, after all. I shall go speak with him.”

“Like hell you will,” Charles protests. “That arsehole won’t lift a finger to help.”

“He will if it’s me asking,” says Edwin. “Now come on. Do you want to play tonight or not?”

*

Edwin Payne is the last person you’d expect to start a rock band. Piano virtuoso, played his debut concerto at the age of eight, won the Liszt at twelve and BBC Young Musician at thirteen. Had it all lined up: scholarship to the Royal College of Music, orchestras queuing round the block to fling gigs at him. Then: unspecified breakdown. Vanished from public view for three years. As a former child pop star herself, Crystal gets it. Okay, so maybe whatever happened with Edwin wasn’t as extreme as drunk-driving your way into a fender-bender so dire that even your platinum award-winning parents couldn’t buy enough spin to keep you out of the tabloids. Anyhoo. The past is the past. Crystal’s living for the present now. 

Of course, she was aware of none of this when she auditioned. As far as she knew, this band had one cute guy and one dickhead snob who clearly didn’t think any decent music had been composed since the 19th century, and who dismissed her CV with a snide “We’re not exactly looking for Hannah Montana here” — whereupon Crystal looked him dead in the eye and sang, pitch-perfect, the first verse of Caro Mio Ben. Edwin pursed his lips like his mouth was a vinegar distillery and said: “Hardly Bartoli, but I suppose she’ll do.” 

Charles punched him in the shoulder. “Oi, mate, be nice.” To Crystal: “You’re loads better than Hannah Montana. Honestly I’m surprised he even knows who Hannah Montana is.”

Crystal could have walked then. She almost did. She was getting her life back together, out of her parents’ shadows and on her own terms; she didn’t need this shitty little band with its one-half shitty leadership. To this day she doesn’t know why she stayed. Maybe it was the open warmth of Charles’ grin, maybe it was the glint of challenge in Edwin’s eye — a heady combo of affection and spite bubbling up in her chest. 

“So what’s the name of this band?”

“It’s aces, you’ll love it,” said Charles. “Spooky Action At A Distance.”

“That,” said Crystal, “is the stupidest fucking band name I’ve ever heard.”

“It is a quantum science concept,” said Edwin frostily, “not that I expect you to understand.”

“It’s sad,” Crystal went on. “Literally, its acronym is SAAAD.”

“I am beginning to regret this,” said Edwin in a too-loud aside to Charles. “Must we have someone on vocals?”

“Look, will you two just jam together one time? It’ll be aces, I promise.”

“So what does Little Lord Fauntleroy play then?” Crystal snapped. “Does he tinkle on the pianoforte after supper?”

Charles chuckled. Edwin arched an eyebrow at Crystal and held out his hand to Charles, who reached down behind them and pulled out a goddamn Fender Strat.

Edwin played a few experimental chords, tuning up, and then his fingers slid and it was Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata, but not like Crystal had ever heard it, wild lightning runs of arpeggios where every note was somehow picked out with the clarity of blown glass. Crystal knew her jaw had dropped, which she seemed unable to do anything about at the moment. The guitar sang in Edwin’s hands, and he never once broke a sweat or eye contact with her.

“Holy shit,” she said when it was over.

“I quite agree.” Edwin flexed his fingers, then stuck out his hand for her to shake. “Allow me to formally welcome you to our little band.”

[unhonestlymirror]

How to recognise organized harassment on tumblr (on example from hetalia, the most normal fandom):

First of all, it often starts with "Block this person!" Often with many exclamation marks. Never "please be aware". That's not the accusing who should be responsible for your decisions to block/not block.

Secondly,

There are too many accusations at once. This one example of wording sounds hilarious. There is some recognisable pattern in such a kind of harassment: you are necessarily being accused of transphobia + racism + islamophobia/zionism. All these accusations in a 1 post at once are a red flag, you should check the information very precisely and objectively. Otherwise, you have a very high risk of participating in harassment and misinformation's spread about innocent people.

Like, I've seen callouts about tankies/vatņiki and they are VERY different from organized harassment.

Thirdly, if there is more text from the accusing than actual screens/links - that's also a red flag - you shouldn't share the post immediately. Those who harass innocent people want you to believe that if you don't share the callout post right here, right now, the world is gonna collapse. It's not. Check the information.

Fourthly,

Wtf is this. It's not even recent? You are just bored and you want to make a fuss? Red flag. I would not trust the author after this. Five sentences ago, you encouraged us to "block this person!!!" - and now you say "I'm urging y'all not to block"? Sure, grandma, let's get you to bed.

No, my dear, the only person with dangerous views trying to hide behind "valid criticism" is you. Once again, "just block this person", right after "don't block this person".

Anyway, organized harassment doesn't necessarily have a lot of profanity because assholes became a bit smarter. Organised harassment makes an accent on rather the personality of the accused than the actual deeds. Organised harassment uses the Pontius Pilate's rhetoric. Organised harassment makes it a show, a Broadway musical, "Jesus Christ Superstar", leaves the accused no opportunity to explain themself, and leaves the people no opportunity to ask the accused.

There are surprisingly many people who cooperate with each other in harassment. Organized harassment makes its authors feel like they have some power. Maybe because in real life, they are too wretched.

Even if the accused actually has weird views, such a callout post makes me too disgusted with the author to share it.

Please don’t participate in harassment. Please check the information.

P.S. Accusations of zionism? Has anyone ever tried to ask Jews what is zionism? It's like accusing of patriotism. I accuse the author of the post of anti-Semitism.

P.S.S. I think I've seen the author sharing "how hetalia characters would sing in their native language" (AI covers), but I'm too lazy to search.

[onceler12]

Introduction post!

I drew myself using my actual photo as reference so trust me, this is very accurate to how I'm looking irl. I'm also showing you my photo in this outfit (not this one used for reference) which is showing me and my pillow! On second photo is me and my guitar and I noticed that in movie is similar frame so I made comparison. I hope you like it!

As for introduction at first I should say that I'm 19 yrs old (20 on 1st October) and I'm extremaly similar to Once-ler, we have same personality and interests and this is very problematic to me because people are often thinking that I'm roleplaying when I'm just being myself so you should remember that this isn't roleplay and I'm desciribing my actual self!

So when you know it then ofc I want show you few examples of those similarities. First, I'm very interested in business, I have many ideas for my own businesses even if they are just dreams. I can be very passionate about that and talk so much about it. By example I was writing speech of opening of Thneed factory even if this business is just a dream but I'm just too passionate so I can't let my energy get wasted and I remaked lyrics to song ,,Everybody needs a Thneed" - I mostly changed uses and I done it because I love that business so I was thinking that maybe I should try make few Thneeds in real life and I sewn one but that was Thneed from random material for practice so it's not so good but it have shape just like in movie and I didn't saw any so-called Thneed in this shape before because indeed this shape is very difficult so probably I'm the first who actually did it.

Currently I'm struggling to find better material but when I would find it, I hope that I can make Thneed that is very close to this movie one! Also I'm very good at defending deforestation and telling why it's not that bad and telling about how business in movie could not get bankrupt even after cutting whole forest! I'm also aware than my mindset it's unique and that I can show others different perspective on those things.

I also very good at making pancakes and I'm eating them with marhsmallows and it was my idea because I know that's not common mix and I made it by myself (btw on one photo here there is small picture in photo frame in background which is me with plate of pancakes so you have proof) and baking - mostly cupcakes. I like drawing, writing books and I even wrote few poems but the most I like writing about things I'm passionate about. I love music and I'm learning to play on electric guitar but I can't play on it yet. I also love cats, I have three of them.

I really like movie ,,The Lorax" but when I would making it then of course I would make Thneed business better and bigger and it wouldn't get bankrupt! I also have some ideas of another companies which are involving Truffula trees and obviously there would be more scenes with Once-ler because he deserve it. Anyways this movie isn't making sense very often but this is environmental propaganda so what do you expecting? Like what's wrong with destroying just one forest? I have arguments that even shows Lorax as the villain (this is some example of my unique mindset because no way that I'd say that chopping trees is bad so I'm taking serious when defending this business) but I won't write my arguments here because I already wrote too much and I don't want to bore you (but when you are in fandom then you probably want to hear about it..?) so that's all for now!

If you are interested in meeting person like me and if you want to talk about business, Thneeds or something else related to movie then don't hesitate to interact with me, I'd be happy to met Once-ler fans!

[stabs-cake-with-salieris-dagger]

Recently I've made some interesting and surprising findings about mor that seem lesser known in the fandom (or maybe I just don't dig deep enough) Also I accidentally hit ctrl z while almost finishing up the post that I spent the past hour or so typing and it deleted most of what I've typed......... with tears I retyped everything again SIGH (resulting in me not proofreading any of this) 1. So I remember seeing somewhere that says mor has both Mozart and Salieri's compositions, which I thought it was false because it's all Mozart as far as I know. Until one day I actually looked at the credit a bit closer and found this:

This is the music that plays before victime de ma victoire. Mozart wrote fortepiano variations at 17 years old of Salieri's aria, so they really just used Mozart's version of Salieri's piece from one of his most popular operas???? It made me kind of mad but also this felt like a meta commentary considering it's associated with victime de ma victoire scene. It's a self aware song where Salieri is regretting, trying to come to terms of what he's done, and 'predicting' his failure. It serves as a commentary of the whole Mozart and Salieri matter beyond the scope of the show and ends in "J'ai perdu pour l'Histoire (I lost for history)." In this case it does feel like Salieri is being pushed aside in one of the worst possible ways, and I really wish some of his music could have made their ways into the musical properly. 2. I found a Playbill article talking about mor being in the middle of being adapted into English for Broadway in 2012...... which honestly I'm really glad it failed because I don't have faith that it'd be good. There's already the example of tdv, and the way they talk about it just doesn't seem... great, such as “bring shape and focus to the musical for American audiences” and "When the French write musicals, a lot of their songs are written like pop singles placed contiguous to each other, while on Broadway, it's necessary to have a storyline and a semblance of relationship.” Pop French musical isn't everyone's cup of tea and that's of course normal but the way it sounds like they're going to really Americanize it and rewrite it majorly and by storyline and relationship I take they mean needing musical motifs, reprises, and such. Just makes me feel they should just write a whole new musical?? And maybe it's just me but the tone sounds a little patronizing too? Though I do wish they could have released the cd and dvd in North America just because I'm Canadain lol Also curious if there was a time staging mor in Quebec would have been viable. 3. I spend too much of my time watching mor clips, but I've somehow never looked at performances pre proshot until recently. There were a few changes in the ~2 month (if my memory serves) between premiere and first proshot made to vivre a en crever that surprised me. First 2 screenshots from this video, and the rest from this one.

First of all, no handshake at on se reverra???? It's giving 2 bros chilling in the hot tub 5 feet apart cuz they're not gay

This is a little hard to see but Salieri is kneeling beside the wall as Mozart departs and it had me screaming ;; I know Laurent did kneel but I didn't know it was a thing in the French tour. This video gives a sliiiightly clearer silhouette of him kneeling but he's also blocked by Cavalieri.

Constanze running up to grab Mozart and refuse to let him go really had me by surprise and it's so heart breaking ;;;; I've been debating whether I like this better or the one that they ended up using where she just reaches out to him from the bed, because it kind of changes the tone of the scene.

Anyway thanks for reading if you've gotten this far. There's so many analysis posts I'd like to do but I simply don't have the energy to.... but if anyone wants to talk about analysis I'm more than happy to ramble lol

[fix-me-sixteen]

hello, it is i, @the-way-astray, this is my main. that blog's still where all the interesting stuff is. obligatory warning that i don't take this blog very seriously, i literally just created it so that i could have a main that's attached to my sideblog lmfao.

hello, i'm stria, i use she/her pronouns. what else is there to say to about me. oh. i love the number sixteen.

banner and profile picture are both art of fitz vacker from kotlc by @/lemontarto (once again, thank you so much, absolutely devouring your style)

assorted tags i'll use, for my various purposes:

#insane post: posts that make me insane (basically analysis/meta)

#good post: posts with a good take

#wholesome post

#lh post: funny/chaotic posts

#useful post: post with useful advice

#fandom post: a post about fandom behavior in general

#story post: posts about a person's backstory, stories, or information in general

#unrebloggable post: posts that don't apply to me/i disagree with but i like them so i want them on my blog anyway

#interactive post

fandom tags formatted #[media] and character tags formatted #[character's first name] [character's last name] and #[media] [character's first name]

#SIXTEEN MENTION: a post that mentions the number sixteen

#four mention: a post that mentions the number four (which i love too)

#FAVORITE

#stria's parental issues: i vent about my parents. sorry y'all

#stria speaks: i speak (aka my own original post and not a reblog)

#legends: for posts about awesome famous people

#recommendations: usually books, sometimes other media

#polls

#animals (#cats, #snakes, #dogs, etc.)

#tumblr things

#art

#music

#writing

#[country] news

#personal

#political

#my secret fandom: stuff about my other main's media

other random shit about me:

main fandom is kotlc, i have an entire sideblog dedicated to it (@the-way-astray). if i really love something from there, i'll reblog it here. however, i also have a shit ton of posts about other fandoms saved that i need to reblog somewhere so. expect other fandoms, soon, too.

because of the mess i am now stuck in*, i don't use the like feature of tumblr anymore. it just gets too hectic for me, because when i enjoy a post, that usually means i want to be able to find it again, which is frustratingly not possible with the like feature. if i enjoy your post, it's pretty much going to be only reblogs. if i like your post, it was an accident. sorry. honestly tumblr should just hide the button from me so i don't have the temptation anymore.

i cannot reblog a post without saying something in the tags. as i said above, when i enjoy a post, i want to be able to find it again. so that's usually the reason.

i swear and use all-caps with no warning. if you desperately want that to change, tell me.

*if you aren't aware, i spent basically an entire week just cleaning out the likes of my old main because there were too many, and i still have hundreds more to sort through, it's part of the reason why i made this new main, so i'd have a place to put all my non-kotlc related liked posts.

[marzzthehuman]

HELLO!☆

this is info about me+my blog!!! PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU FOLLOW!!!!!!!!1

☆～（ゝ。∂） current favorite thing: Lucky Star! SORRY I’VE BEEN SO INACTIVE I’VE BEEN BUSY WITH SCHOOL 😔😔😔😔 --- i’ve got a strawpage! it includes basically the same info as here but also more! and you can send me doodles and such! (i have just realized these are all things you can do on tumblr) (warning- it does contain moving images/gifs!) im aware the formatting is a little weird but i tried to make it neat :) id recommend you check it out!

I’m Marzz! (the amount of Z's does not matter!! it changes every time i type it. lately i’ve been using 2!)

i go by she/they pronouns! (AFAB) i am genderqueer and on the aro/ace spectrum!

I AM A MINOR!! (teenager)

DNI!! if you are: racist, homophobic/transphobic, an NSFW account, ableist, pedo, proship, Zionist, etc. also if you support Wilbur Soot or pusu please go away

(more, less important, info is located under the cut!! trying not the make the post TOO big!!)

If i EVER offend you in any way or say something wrong/make you uncomfy, PLEASE TELL ME!! I am never trying to be mean or disrespectful on purpose and if i have been rude to you, PLEASE inform me so i can apologize and improve my actions!!

mutuals: please tell me if you want anything tagged and I will try my best to do so!! 🫶🫶🫶🫶 for me, please tag things like nsfw/nsft (not counting on it being a common occurrence, but just in case, because some things can fall into that category!), mentions of sh and similar, and child injury, thanks!

PLEASE refrain from saying things like "this isn't real" or "you're dreaming" because it makes me upset. thank you! :)

another thing is that if you are going to make a ‘im gonna kms’ joke please use ‘/j’ or something so i know you are not serious, because saying this will get me very worried, even if i can sense you arent serious, (if i can pick up on the joke depends on how well i know you) please use a tone tag anyway!

please, please, please tag posts about suicide with ‘tw suicide’ or some variation of that please. id rather it not be mentioned around me, thanks! (if we are friends and you need to vent or something, please ask first/give me a warning. tagging it counts as a warning, im just saying if we were having a one-on-one convo)

~~

my asks are always open, so feel free to send me an ask!!!

~

About me!!

I can be energetic and am a positive and optimistic person!!! Along with that, please remember I have bad days sometimes, too!!

I love getting to know people and learning fun facts about them while also sharing fun facts about myself!!

the fandoms i am most active in are: Project Sekai. that's about it. i also like other things too! I also really like Lemon Demon, Doctor Who, and The Muppets (as in any Jim Henson production)!! (I am also into TBHK, Scott Pilgrim, Lucky Star, and Warrior Cats, though I wouldnt consider myself in the fandom) i am also into musical theatere and my favorite musical is Cats!

Trust me I know how to spell it's just keyboards are hard. yk what. words are hard.

i tend to use emoticons/kaomojis/emojis a lot!! i feel like they are helpful to getting my feeling across because online you can’t read tone or facial expressions!! (ó﹏ò｡) i also use hyperboles much more than i should, but they should be easy to spot!

guys guess. guess who my favorite pjsk character is. its the hardest thing to guess guys.

~

I write fanfiction sometimes!! You can find me on Ao3 as MarzzzzTheHuman !!

yap posts will (hopefully) be tagged with: #marzzz's yappy yap yaps ! yap posts will include either me talking about pjsk, some sort of rant, or just sharing random things. (probably most things will be tagged with this. I'm bored and have a lot of thoughts.)

just random text posts or other stuff (just random stuff basically) will be tagged with #marmalade is here

art from after july 14 2024 SHOULD be tagged with #MARZZ ART YAAAYYY ! !

'marzz, how can I talk to you?' tags of posts, (I love seeing the little messages in tags!!) asks, or DM!! I love talking to people!! 'can I call you a nickname?' Mutuals, yes!! but please run it by me first! >.< (‘marzzy’ is already a nickname given to me by a beloved mutual so i’d prefer if only they call me it, thanks!) 'can I use your art?' Yes, but please ask first! I will allow my art to be used as pfps or banners (with credit) and for personal use like wallpapers. DO NOT repost my art on other sites, don't steal, and don't feed it to AI, please!

I'm just here to have fun, honestly! I mainly post art and reblog things but when i have access to my computer for an extended period of time i just say random things. If I want to. :D

this post should update somewhat regularly, but who knows!!! (I am aware this post needs serious reformatting.. and its currently under construction. kind of. I miiigghhtt make a 'meet the artist' thing but who knows lmao)

[lotusthewriter]

Some day, when your head is much lighter

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: T

Relationships: Peter & Tony, Peter & Nebula, Peter & Morgan

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Nebula, Morgan Stark; MINOR - Pepper Potts; MENTIONED - Guardians of the Galaxy (minus Gamora), Happy Hogan, James "Rhodey" Rhodes

Summary: As they all celebrate Tony's return home, Peter feels like an outsider.

Nebula may relate a bit too much to the feeling.

Word count:

AO3

A/N: Heads up that on AO3 the fic is split in two chapters, but here I published the whole story in one post.

I bet a fic like this exists already, but I think Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 inspired me, so I ended up writing this thingy. Well, besides my dad treating me like shit as usual, resulting in a clingy and needy author writing paternal affection to soothe their lack of it. And I once again ended up writing 5k of self-indulgent hurt/comfort.

Also kind of a salt fic, mainly because we were robbed of more Nebula and Tony - and better yet, Nebula and Peter. They all deserve happiness!!! They deserve to be friends!!! To be family!!!!

Anyway, the Guardians are buddies with the Ironfam because of Nebula, while the Rogues/Avengers should stay as far away from Tony as possible, lmao.

Please be aware of the trigger warnings listed below.

TRIGGER WARNINGS - past canonical character death, suicidal thoughts/ideation, grief, implied past child abuse and depression.

Hate will be blocked. P/roship DNI.

--

Parties were never really his thing.

This one is different, though.

After practically two months, Tony Stark, the savior of the universe, is back home with his family.

His real family.

Aunt May couldn’t come due to all the housing issues they’ve been facing since returning from the Snap, so for old times’ sake, Happy went all the way to Peter’s current apartment to take him to the peaceful lake house the Potts-Starks have decided to retire in.

The trip felt… uncomfortable.

Happy of all people tried to get Peter to talk, in the most awkward way imaginable. Eventually, Happy would only shoot him sad glances, not at all grumpy, until Peter quietly asked him to give him some privacy for now (of course, not rudely). The boy didn’t even listen to music while he delved into New York City. Save for new stores and buildings, for the most part it didn’t look so awfully different to the human eye.

But Peter knew better than that. He sees more than the average person did. And that’s a curse.

It certainly is with Peter here, in this party that he should actually care about.

The teen gets to see Tony with the biggest smile on his face, despite the scars and the metal arm he built himself. He gets to see Pepper and Morgan, now relieved that Tony is not trapped in a hospital bed anymore. Even the… Guardians of the Galaxy have come along, like they’ve been Tony’s friends this whole time, despite the events that initially brought them together, and those that separated them as well.

Everyone is fine.

They’re exhausted and hurt, but they’re fine, because for now they celebrate.

Peter, however, has nothing to celebrate. When he should have.

This feels like Liz’s party, but at least back then Peter had Ned with him. At least things were easier. Not better , but easier .

What makes this all worse is that everyone is trying.

Like Happy did in the car, Morgan is constantly taking his hand and grinning at him with her adorable dark eyes, trying to lure him into her antics – she’ll whisper in his ear to beg him to be Spider-Man and grab all the juice pops for her –, and then Pepper immediately finds them and she will reassure Peter he doesn’t have to do anything the little “burglar” says, so Morgan will pretend to be innocent and she’ll run somewhere else. After this, Pepper is sweet and attentive towards Peter, smoothing his brown curls like she’s always done this, like he’s been her child from the moment he was born. While Rhodey likes joking with Tony, the former is incredibly soft and patient with the boy, telling Peter he can always tell everyone to stop smothering him, half-joking, half-meaningfully. Finally, the Star-Lord, who’s apparently also named after Peter, tries to sound like his cool older brother/cousin figure, only for him to end up sounding even more unaware than Uncle Ben, since Quill hasn’t been to Earth in forever. Everyone laughs when Peter accidentally implies that Quill is an old man since he has no idea how smartphones work, for a guy that has a spaceship and everything.

Admittedly, talking to the Guardians of the Galaxy kind of helps Peter get distracted from his haunting thoughts, since he ends up acting like a guide to them, in cultural terms. So you’ll basically find a teenager showing a group of aliens – and animals (as Peter eyes the walking raccoon that does not like being called a raccoon) – random memes. Drax doesn’t get the majority of them, and he demands explanations. Honestly, nobody but Groot gets it, even if all he says is “I am Groot”.

Peter never had a chance to know these guys better, as they all had to face Thanos and save the universe, so… this is nice.

That is, when Morgan steals Peter again – as well as the blue girl with black eyes, Nebula, if he’s not mistaken – to beg him to know when they’re going to play and get the juice pops. Suddenly, all the Guardians tune in and Drax “the Destroyer” is all for doing justice for the “Iron Daughter”, which draws Pepper’s attention, Tony’s and Rhodey’s laughter, and Happy doing his best to not let chaos rule the house, even if he might be secretly laughing as well.

And Peter is just… there .

He has been just there from the very beginning and… there’s nothing left for him to do.

This shouldn’t be upsetting. Peter should be laughing with them. He should be happy that Tony is alive. He should be grateful he’s here with him and everyone else.

But he isn’t.

He can’t keep pretending.

Peter flees the scene when he’s sure no one will notice, so he’s outside by the lake, facing the distant buildings he’s grown up with. The teenager already wonders how in the hell he’s going to leave without asking Happy, because he certainly doesn’t want to cause any more trouble for them. Peter does have his homemade suit with him, since it’s a habit he’ll never grow out of, but again, there aren’t any buildings in this area, and trees aren’t exactly stable enough for web shooting. Not to mention how expensive a cab would be to leave such an isolated place.

In the middle of his overthinking, a presence approaches, somehow undetectable by his enhanced senses at first.

“You’re leaving?”

It’s… truly not the voice you’d expect.

Peter turns around to find Nebula, who observes him with a knowing look… yet not judgmental. She doesn’t look confused by him leaving, either. She just pointed it out.

He opens his mouth but he only makes weird noises instead of words, hiding his cell phone since he’s already been caught, and fidgeting nervously.

“I- I-I dunno,” Peter manages, “I just…”

The arachnid teenager truly has no idea what to say. Every excuse he can come up with only sounds more and more dickish.

Nebula hums.

“Although you smiled the entire time, and were even socializing well with others…” Her eyes are deep like outer space. “All you wanted was to escape.”

Peter bites his lip. Nebula doesn’t sound like she knows the whole truth. Once again, she just observes and wants to confirm her suspicions.

“I-I’m sorry,” he mumbles.

Nebula shakes her head. “You don’t need to apologize for wanting to escape.”

Peter frowns, looking down.

“I-I don’t want to be ungrateful, I know everyone wants me to be here and- and you’re all trying really hard to make me feel comfortable, but…”

The cyborg crosses her arms, yet again, not in a way to make him feel bad.

Peter sighs. “I just feel like I don’t belong.”

His voice sounds wet and broken. Honestly, he’s been wanting to cry the moment he stepped here.

“These past few months have been so hard for me,” the boy opens up, despite Nebula being basically a stranger to him. “I already have to deal with the fact I turned into dust and woke up five years later. I have to get home and realize nothing is the same, I realize how much I’ve lost. People have moved on from me. And yet I have to go to school and be a normal boy like none of the things I mentioned ever happened. A-And then, I almost lost Mr. Stark, and he was isolated in the hospital this entire time… the staff told me I had to be his actual family to visit him.” Peter sniffs, drying his eye with his sleeve. “And even though I know Mr. Stark and Mrs. Potts would do everything to include me in their family, I still… never went after that. It doesn’t make sense, does it? I’m hurt that they didn’t let me see him… but I also didn’t have the heart to tell them I was hurt. Not to mention seeing him in that state… I don’t think I could handle the sight.”

Peter doesn’t look at Nebula at all, though he’s aware she’s listening in silence the whole time. She seems to have stepped closer to him, but they keep a fair distance from each other. He half realizes Nebula seems to have… glitter on her face, probably thanks to Morgan. He would have laughed if he weren’t breaking down.

“Like, even the Guardians are way better at this than me! At being their family!” Peter resumes. “It’s like they’ve been Mr. Stark’s friends since forever, like they weren’t dead for FIVE YEARS or the fact that they barely know him!”

He hates how childish he sounds right now, how needy and spoiled he is for being upset about all of this; especially after just admitting that he never bothered to tell Mr. Stark what he wants.

Peter dries his tears because he doesn’t want them to be seen, to be discovered, even if Nebula looks like the best person to keep secrets.

“S-See? The problem isn’t them, it’s me,” he says, angry. “They want me to matter, but it’s pointless. I’m not worth anything, ‘cause I can’t do anything right.”

He only remains cleaning his face meaninglessly with his shirt while Nebula is quiet, maybe shocked or sympathetic, he doesn’t really know. Peter also makes sure nobody else is watching them, which thankfully seems to be the case.

Either way, the boy dries the water and snot until his eyes shut up… besides Nebula finally saying something for once.

“... you are not the problem.”

Peter frowns. “What?”

“You’re not the problem,” Nebula repeats patiently.

“Why?” He’s too distraught to apologize for the slight lashing out.

Nebula, however, is unfazed by the reaction.

“I… never had anything,” she starts. “Thanos stripped everything away from me. And when he killed half of the universe… somehow I managed to have less than nothing. But then… I had Tony.” Nebula is the one looking away, staring at the lake. “We were the only survivors.”

Peter watches her not shed a single tear.

“It only lasted a few days, but they felt so long. We were out of food and gas. Even still, he made sure to look after me. We even played games together. He… praised me. Tony barely knew me and yet… he liked me,” Nebula contemplates. “And he was going to die. I knew I couldn’t do anything… but I did what I could.”

She pauses.

“After we were saved, I thought he’d be better off without me. I knew he had a family,” Nebula admits. “But whenever I was available, I’d find myself getting repairs and updates the most carefully I have ever witnessed. I’d find myself drinking… hot chocolate. And sometimes babysitting Morgan. So… I ended up being part of his family, I guess.” She shrugs affectionately, a shy smile even surfacing there. “I never thought I’d be part of a family. The Guardians didn’t convince me otherwise, not at first. It was Tony’s.” She stops again. “It might not look like it, but to this day, I still believe I don’t deserve to be here. I don’t deserve to be taken care of. I don’t deserve Tony loving me the way my father never did.” Now her voice is the one which breaks.

Peter watches her this whole time, without breaking down again. Nebula seems to be tough, but at the same time she’s being very vulnerable right now. She ends up letting out a deep sigh.

“What I mean is… you have every right to feel hurt or alone, or out of place. That does not make you a bad person. That is not your fault,” Nebula reassures him. “And most importantly, you deserve help for that. You deserve love.”

Peter looks at her with his well-known puppy eyes, like Tony would call them.

He wants to say something – he should, but not sure what it’d be.

The blue cyborg stands awkwardly next to him, probably feeling the same way, especially after the two of them opened up so deeply like that. Nebula likely believes that she might have not helped much, hence why she’s going back to the house without a lot of certainty (or she’s really not the best at socializing, given she’s, you know. An alien).

When she’s about to leave, Peter finally lets out:

“Hey, Nebula?”

She merely turns around.

“Th… Thank you,” Peter smiles, “for looking after Mr. Stark.”

Nebula’s expression manages to soften even more. If she weren’t a cyborg, Peter is almost sure her cheeks would be red.

She nods, not saying anything. She doesn’t have to for Peter’s grin to widen.

Now, he’s rather unsure what to do. Maybe he’ll stick out here for a while, throw rocks to the lake with his super strength and see how far they can go. He doesn’t get to decide with Morgan coming back… only she’s on Tony’s lap.

“Petey! Aunt Nebula!” The little girl smiles. “Where were you? You should’ve seen Mr. Drax falling asleep in just three seconds! Without any bedtime story!”

“Mantis had to stop the big guy before he ripped our fridge apart,” Tony explains, smirking.

“Are you okay, Petey-pie?” Morgan asks, worried.

“O-Oh.” Great, that question. Why is he so obvious? “Yeah, yeah. Sorry, Morgan.”

“It’s okay. Daddy says everyone needs some good cry every now and then. And at least you weren’t alone!”

“Yeah,” Peter sniffs as he briefly smiles at Nebula.

He feels too embarrassed to look at Tony back, knowing the older man is staring at him with those big concerned eyes of his.

Due to the heavy silence, Nebula suddenly walks to Tony to talk to Morgan, her low voice softening and even sounding playful. Just vaguely.

“What do you say we prank Drax while he’s asleep?” Nebula suggests. “We could put some glitter on his face, too.”

Morgan gasps, excited. “Yeah! He’s a Guardian of the Galaxy, so he needs to shine reeeeally bright!”

“That’s right,” Nebula smiles, picking the girl up.

“Are you coming, Petey?” Morgan wonders.

Before the boy can even open his mouth, Tony speaks for him.

“We’ll be right back at you, Morguna,” he winks at her. She returns the gesture, so Morgan hugs Nebula, who seems completely alright with the affection. When Peter first met her, he never thought the cyborg would be so sweet with children.

Only for the teen to realize, he’s alone with Tony. Perhaps the first time in so long. They feel like strangers even if Tony tries not to leave that impression.

The last time they were together… Tony was dying in front of him, and all Peter wanted was to hold onto him, because he couldn’t handle losing someone else. It had felt like losing Uncle Ben all over again, and Peter wanted to push everyone else away to save Tony, to cry and mourn, and beg him to stay, to not leave him.

Peter can only understand how Nebula must have felt when she also thought she’d lose the only person that ever made her feel loved.

Tony is back.

Then why isn’t Peter happy?

“Pete?”

He can’t even look at Tony.

Peter is so ungrateful.

“Hey, buddy… you don’t need to hide your tears from me,” the man says softly. “You don’t have to be fine for my sake, or anyone’s sake.”

Peter knows that, and it only makes him want to cry harder.

When Tony approaches him, while still not directly touching him, Peter smells wood, which is… quite new for him. That and a shampoo that screams “Dad” shampoo. However, he smells the same oil and coffee that brings Peter back to their lab days. It brings him back to the nights the boy stayed over at the Compound, watching movies with his mentor, accidentally falling asleep on the hero’s shoulder, and not realizing it until he was wrapped up in a blanket and too tired and comfortable to move. It reminds Peter of when Tony put a hand behind his neck, his fingers running through the former’s curls, as the teen was being crushed by the weight of his grief, the weight of bullying and loneliness. It reminds Peter of when he felt loved despite the entire world telling him otherwise.

Everything has changed so much now, but in the end… Peter can still find some of the old smell of home.

He’s… home.

It doesn’t look like it, at all.

But he’s home.

And he loses it.

Unlike in the battlefield, Peter rushes to Tony’s arms before anything bad happens to separate them again. Before anything and anyone can take Tony away from him.

“I’m sorry!” Peter sobs, “I’m sorry, I missed you, I thought you’d–!”

“Hey, hey, hey… it’s alright, Peter.” Tony just soothes his back up and down. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

Peter weeps, “I’m sorry.”

“Shhh… you have nothing to apologize for. Nothing, do you hear me?”

Tony sounds so incredibly patient that it only has Peter cry more in his shoulder, at this point too out of it to apologize for wetting Tony’s dad-looking sweater. Peter just buries himself in his mentor’s shoulder, wanting to be wrapped up in his home again, to feel like he belongs somewhere again. He’s missed this so damn much…

“I missed you,” Peter whispers, voice high like a child’s. “So much…”

Tony laughs wetly, squeezing the teenager in his arms, and kissing his head many times. “I missed you too, kiddo. You have no idea.”

His right arm is a little more solid than the rest of his body, but it’s still the same arms that have always loved Peter. The arachnid isn’t hugging the armor this time. They’re not fighting an evil overlord. They’re home again.

Tony just calms him down and never once complains about how long it takes. He’s willing to stay forever if Peter needs it. Truly, he doesn’t know what he did to deserve… a father like Tony Stark.

Although he’s grateful, the black hole in him aches again, absorbing his joy. That’s how his life feels most of the time.

“I’m sorry,” Peter repeats.

“Peter…” Tony sounds pained.

“N-No, I mean it. You were all doing everything to welcome me, and I just… didn’t say anything. I just left.”

Tony just looks heartbroken, his flesh and mechanical arms wiping some of Peter’s tears for him.

“I thought…” Peter gulps. “I thought of leaving without anyone knowing. I didn’t feel right staying in there. Ever since I came back, nothing has felt right, but it feels like I’m expected to live like I didn’t literally die . A-And even though you’re trying to help me feel less alone… I still feel alone. And that’s not your fault.”

His mentor looks like he’s about to hug Peter the same way he did when they reunited, only for the boy to say more.

“I-I guess I’ve always felt like this, but… I still felt like I had something, before this all happened. But now, I don’t have anything and I feel like everyone has lived on well without me. You might try to include me, but… I can see it. I see how you guys interact. How… better you are without me.” He sniffs grossly. “The Guardians were gone for five years too, but they’re having so much fun, celebrating your return. I know I should be, too. I-I’m so relieved you’re back home, Mr. Stark,” Peter insists. “B-But I don’t feel like… I’m home. It’s like I lost it. Forever.”

The boy lowers his head, staring at the dirt, the ground reminding him of his own demise. He’s stepping on it like… he belongs there.

“I-I f-feel like… like…” Peter cries, scared of Tony’s reaction, “like maybe I shouldn’t have come back.” He feels so much like a little kid. And it makes sense, doesn’t it? Peter didn’t grow up with Tony. He’s stuck in a teenage body when he should be a young adult. “M-Maybe I… I should have just stayed dead.”

With the way Tony’s hands stop gently touching Peter’s face, the latter is sobbing furiously again.

Maybe now, he should leave.

Leave and never return.

Peter never wanted to admit these thoughts to anyone, because they just make him realize how much of a horrible person he is.

When his instinct tells him to run and hide, and never – ever – return, Tony’s left hand stops him, grabbing his arm firmly but not to the point of hurting it. If anything, it seems to shake silently.

“M-Mr. Stark, l-let me go,” he begs.

“You’re not better off dead.”

Tony is quiet and gentle, yet he appears to be close to breaking down, too.

“I-It doesn’t feel like it,” Peter bites.

“I know.”

The way Tony speaks… the way he’s rubbing Peter’s arm…

The boy wants to reject it, but he can’t.

“Let me help you, Peter,” Tony quietly pleads.

“Nobody can help me.”

“That’s not true.”

“Then why hasn’t it gotten better? Why do I keep losing everyone and- and everything? Why does life just get worse every time I think it’s going to get better?”

“Because it sucks. I know it does.”

Tony is behaving a lot like Nebula right now. They both speak from experience. Only here, Tony doesn’t explain where it comes from. Maybe because, right now, it’s not the focus.

“I’m…” Peter lowers the defenses. “I’m so tired, Tony.”

“I know, Pete.”

Like this, Tony is hugging him again.

“You can rest now,” he promises.

Peter cries once again, and it only hurts even more. Yet somehow, the crying is less desperate and loud. It’s more… here , if that makes sense.

He knows more than anyone that this is not enough for the black hole inside him. Nothing is enough for the black hole.

Still… Tony is able to quiet it down.

With just this one hug.

So, Peter just holds onto it.

It's true, then. That sometimes, a hug is really all you need to know that things will be alright.

--

They don't even notice the time pass until the Guardians come to say goodbye, though they almost retreat in respect, seeing that Peter and Tony were having a moment. Peter is the one who reassures them it’s alright. Each of the Guardians comforts the teenager in some way. Quill even suggests they should cruise in space some of these days, whenever he feels like escaping Earth. Obviously, with the glare Tony gives him, Quill ensures that Peter will have all the resources needed, including some great taste in music, or so he says. Either way, it… doesn’t actually sound like a bad idea.

Nebula promises she’ll keep visiting as well, or at least make video calls in case she’s stuck out there. She also tells Peter to keep in touch with her whenever he needs. He smiles and raises a hand for her to shake. She returns both gestures, and hopes he gets to feel better soon.

Rhodey and Happy still stick around the lake house while the spaceship flies away, mostly so they help Pepper clean the house. Peter would’ve helped, but Morgan takes his hand to show him his room. Not her room, but… his . Tony sighs dramatically that she ruined the surprise, but he joins the duo to what appears to be an untouched bedroom.

Morgan tells him to close his eyes and not peek.

“I have enhanced senses, Morgan,” Peter gently reminds her.

“Then turn them off!”

The boy giggles. “Okay, okay.” He even covers his eyes with his free hand.

Obviously, he can’t turn his senses off, but he keeps it up for her.

The room smells… very clean.

“O-kay, you can look!” Morgan instructs him.

When he sees…

He gasps.

Besides the exact same Star Wars posters he had at the Compound – and some new –, there are hand-made drawings of Spider-Man shooting webs. They’re all signed with Morgan’s name, and some appear to include Nebula’s as well. There are a couple colored lightbulbs, red, blue, and yellow gold, hanging in the ceiling, and then… Peter notices a few pictures by the other wall, most of which feature Peter and Tony in the lab, or whenever Pepper or Rhodey were able to capture them sharing a sweet moment.

But what really has Peter laugh and almost cry again is a photo of a small Peter Parker in the Stark Expo, Uncle Ben picking him up and laughing like his nephew was his whole world. The little boy, his true identity hidden behind an Iron Man mask, is pointing his toy repulsor at May, who took the picture while she also laughed like an angel.

“What do you think, kiddo?” Tony asks.

Peter laughs more, quietly. “I-It’s… It’s perfect.”

“I’m gonna design my own suits for you!” Morgan states rather determinedly.

“Oh, I would love that, Mo,” Peter squeezes her in a half hug, making her giggle. Meanwhile, Tony is looking at his kids with the proudest gaze he’s ever given someone.

Tony eventually leaves to help Pepper and the others, allowing Peter and Morgan to interact more properly. She shows him the books, comics and graphic novels she helped her father pick for Peter. Some of them were also hand-made stories about Spider-Man and his adventures, including his antics with Iron Man. As Morgan reads them to Peter (she sits on a chair next to his bed), the latter is very much invested. He knew that Tony probably told Morgan those stories, since they were all specific and familiar to Peter. Her comics bring the biggest smile to his face.

It feels like the day will never end, in the good way, when Pepper arrives (only she doesn’t interrupt them just yet, also looking like she probably took a picture of them like this, since she has her phone in her hand) to tell them it’s Morgan’s bedtime. Tony is next to his wife with curious eyes while the woman asks Peter if he’s going to stay overnight, as Happy is ready to leave and take him home if he wants.

As he lies in his bed, Peter… shakes his head.

“I’m already home.”

Tony looks like he’s about to cry at any moment, while Pepper and Morgan smile affectionately.

“You can come home whenever you want or need, okay?” Pepper touches his hair softly again.

“Okay.”

“Now, say good night to Peter, sweetie,” she tells her daughter.

“Wait! Can I kiss Petey good night?”

“Sure you can, Mo,” Peter smiles.

Thus, Pepper helps Morgan reach his forehead, her little lips touching it like it’s precious. Peter returns the affection with a smooch on her cheek.

“Nighty-night, Petey-pie,” Morgan says.

“Good night, honey,” Pepper kisses his head next.

“G’night.”

As the two leave, Tony comes in, silently, wearing a… Mandalorian hoodie. Mainly one where he’s protecting Grogu, if Peter is not mistaken. Tony doesn’t come to kiss him good night just yet.

“She read you the stories of Petey-pie?” He teases.

Peter snorts. “She’s the only one allowed to call me that.”

“You don’t have much of a choice here.”

They don’t really engage in further with the snark competition, not as Peter holds the blanket as if someone is going to take it away from him.

“Y-You’re not going to bed?” Peter asks.

“Yeah… but I still felt like my kid needed me. Guess you’re not the only one with Peter Tingles in the family.”

Peter rolls his eyes affectionately. Even then, Tony always sounds so… certain when it comes to the boy.

“This… might sound stupid, I dunno,” Peter gulps, “but… I d-don’t wanna wake up and… lose this, y’know?”

He expects Tony to reassure him that Peter won’t lose anything… only to come across the most tragic expression in the universe.

“... me neither,” the man whispers, likely something not even Pepper and Morgan know.

Peter doesn’t know what to say… other than shyly scooting over to the side.

Tony smiles sadly.

Once again, they haven’t cuddled in forever, and Peter forgot how good it felt.

“I missed my clingy spider-son,” Tony sighs in relief.

“Like you’re not clingy yourself.”

“Remind me again who’s the one being literally stuck right now?”

“Hmmmph,” Peter grumpily replies. Tony’s laugh feels contagious.

The former hesitantly touches the latter’s metal arm, then his brown eyes find Tony’s hairless right side, burnt skin now dark red, somewhat dead. Peter wonders if it hurts.

Tony, as usual, notices.

“Hey, you’re the one who needs attention here, bud,” he reminds him softly.

Peter looks away. “It’s different.”

“And it’s still valid.”

“Y-Yeah, but…”

Peter shakes his head.

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine, kid.”

“No, it’s not, I keep–”

“You keep being your best self, that’s what. And I’m very proud of you, Peter.”

The teen has lost count of how many times he’s wanted to cry today. He has cried since coming back, but never like this – maybe because Peter wasn’t even allowed to cry, or he didn’t feel like he was allowed to.

Peter clutches the older man’s hoodie, afraid of what just came to mind.

“What?” Tony questions.

The boy shrinks.

“W-When… When you…” Peter swallows. “When you snapped your fingers… d-did you want to die?”

Tony doesn’t tense at the question. If anything, he… relaxes?

“No. I didn’t want to lose Morgan, or Pepper… I didn’t want to lose you again. When I saw you crying for me… damn, kid. I felt like throwing Thanos far away to the other side of the galaxy, just to tell you I wasn’t going anywhere,” he replies, not sounding snarky in the slightest. “But there were many moments where I should’ve died. Moments where I thought… dying was the only option.”

Peter contemplates.

“What made you… not die, then?” He wonders.

Tony hums. “I never actually wanted to die.”

Something in the boy aches while hearing that.

“I was taught to believe my life was worth nothing. Even when I became Iron Man… they all told me I had to die to make peace,” Tony continues. “I still thought that when I was in the hospital. But every time I saw Morgan and Pepper, and Rhodey and Happy… every time I remembered Nebula was there for me in my darkest moment, and every time I remembered you were finally here and we could be together again… it gave me more strength than anything. It made me realize… that was the whole point. That’s the point of living. You get to live with people you love. You live to become someone you love, too.”

Peter remembers when Tony took away his suit, the way he was more disappointed than angry.

“That’s not a road that ends, nor is it an easy one. Mine began late in my life, but it’s worth every single mile.” Tony cups Peter’s face so they look at one another. “I’m sorry yours have been this bad, kiddo. I promise I’ll do what I can to help make it easier for you. I hope you get the breaks and support you need. Please, remember that you can count on us, for anything, even when it doesn’t feel like it.”

The moment Peter sniffs, Tony is cradling him like in those nights the boy had nightmares and needed to be comforted. Peter can only cling back with everything he has.

“I’m sorry,” he says either way.

“It’s okay, buddy,” Tony never gets angry. “One day, you’ll see that you don’t need to apologize for being you. One day, the emptiness will be easier, and calmer.”

At this point, Peter knows better than to get his hopes up.

But then…

Tony kisses his forehead and adds, “We’ll be here to help you see that day.”

And just those mere words seem to take away the tensions and calm the hungry, angry black hole in him.

Peter knows it’s just going to bite him back and make him question everything. But right now? He wants to believe Tony. Because it’s Tony Stark, because he’s a genius and a hero, and…

“... I love you, Tony,” Peter mumbles, muffled by the Mandalorian hoodie.

Somehow, the hero manages to hold him even closer.

“Love you too, kiddo.”

And just like before, Tony’s cuddles are the only way to make Peter sleep.

[utilitycaster]

I think the shallow feeling of Laudna/ Imogen also comes from how they talk too and about each other. The gnarlrock conflict felt so much more real than all the “Imogen is very competent and powerful” and “Laudna is so comforting,” there’s nooooot really anything else there? There’s no annoyance or teasing or boredom or Anything, just vague softness. And actual roommates or lovers or siblings aren’t soft and sweet all the time, so Imogen and Laudna come off as people who haven’t actually spent much time together.

So I want to talk about the Bjork song "Hyperballad". It's a great song musically which is why I originally liked it, but the premise of the song is that, within a relationship, there will be weird and messy parts of one's self that need to be expressed elsewhere, outside of that relationship, so that you can be both your entire self but also part of a couple, with the compromises that entails. Anyway, I love this song and I feel like that aspect of this relationship - either as friends or romantically - is entirely missing.

What gets me is that not only is there so little teasing or minor annoyances (and on the rare occasions we have seen them, even when it's been in less direct conflict - think Imogen being kind of impatient and annoyed at Laudna thinking her dolls birthed the gnarlrock - it's felt like a breath of air); it's that they both always automatically go to each other for everything, but won't address the darker issues, and seem to have no outlets for all of the messier aspects of themselves. It's again why Ashton calling Laudna out directly on her bullshit feels more vivid and alive than tens of conversations with Imogen in which neither is willing to risk asking any real, piercing questions. It's why the conversation in the storage room beneath Imahara Joe's is such a strong Imogen scene, because she doesn't have to spend the whole time correcting Laudna's misconceptions but instead actually has to think about and answer to whether she feels she's a hero or something to be feared.

I do keep going back to prior campaigns for comparison but I think that makes sense here. Part of why the Nein worked is that, for example, Jester and Veth became friends very quickly and were able to explore some of the sillier and more chaotic aspects of themselves there, which not only made them much more realized but also pushed Fjord and Caleb to mesh with the group more, whereas Imogen and Laudna are kind of a static island within a group that is both tied to them and also forcibly distanced from them. Or going back further, this is why the twins' respective romantic relationships (and Percy and Keyleth's friendship) make so much sense. The twins love each other deeply but there is a disconnect in what they understand about each other, and their romantic partners, respectively, do understand; but also it's valuable for, say, Vex to have someone in her life who's like "I see how you relate to Percy, and I genuinely believe you are very good for each other, but you are fucked up in the same way and you should be aware of that," just as it's valuable for Vax to have someone in his life who serves as an example of the virtues of self-preservation.

If I may: I think there's sometimes a belief in fandom that having an all-consuming relationship with nothing left outside of it is the goal, rather than a cautionary tale at best and a recipe for despair at worst. I also think there's a bizarrely prevalent belief that being openly protective of a person, in the sense of "I don't want you to get hurt because I care for you," is bad; but constantly trying to protect someone's feelings through never addressing difficult topics is good, even as it stunts their ability to grow as a person. The most obvious parallel from past campaigns I can think of is how Caleb specifically avoided telling the clerics about his past for fear of how they, Jester especially, would respond to it. And it's an understandable impulse, to want people to think the best of you; but it's also terribly difficult and sad to be around someone who thinks you have everything under control when you feel like you're drowning. I suppose from a certain point of view it's romantic to say "I love this person so much that I have to hide absolutely essential aspects of myself out of fear they won't love me back"; but in the 19th century doomed-by-the-narrative gothic romance Bronte sisters sort of way, not in a "this is a romance and they are in love and will live happily ever after" way. I want to see people who finally can be honest with each other, not people who can only engage with each others' masks.

So that's my problem; Imogen and Laudna do genuinely have potential if they can find a way to be honest with each other, but we're almost 40 episodes in and the relationship feels identical to how it did in episode 1, which is to say, recent roommates who might have crushes on each other, rather than best friends of 2 years.

[jerzwriter]

So I'm a couple days late for Bi-Awareness Week, but it's not something that should be limited to a week anyway, so better late than never. Thanks to @storyofmychoices and @choicespride for the questions.

Casey MacTavish Carrick

Casey is my MC in the Open Heart world. While I have several MCs and OCs, she is my "main" girl, and I have developed her character the most. That's why I've decided to highlight her.

When/how did Casey realize she was bisexual?

She knew when she was very young, but it took her a long time to accept and admit it to herself. When she was young, she had celebrity crushes on men and women. A very astute child, she was quick to see how most people encouraged male crushes but made her feel bad for having crushes on women. Ashamed, she suppressed those feelings for a long time.

She didn’t date much during high school, saying she wanted to focus on her studies. While that was true, it also gave her a convenient excuse to avoid dealing with her feelings and uncertainty. Eventually, she dated her good friend Ryan, but that barely went beyond friendship.

Attending college at NYU was a turning point. Both the school and the city were queer-positive and she finally felt comfortable enough to be herself. She became very involved in activism, in the LGBTQIA+ community and beyond. She found herself, and her voice.

Is Casey out? When/how did she come out? To who?

She is out and very transparent. But coming out was another story. While she respects everyone’s right to have their own opinions, she doesn’t believe in “coming out” because it assumes heterosexuality is the default, and that’s not true. If straight people don't have to make an announcement, she doesn't understand why anyone needs to; and she chose not to. Most people find out she is bi organically because it's nothing she hides.

With that said, she did end up telling her parents during med school (No Secret). She was in her first serious relationship with a woman, and she didn't want to make the introduction awkward, so she told them in advance. But it was a bit reluctantly and with some resentment. Her parents were accepting, and she never doubted that they would be, but she did have issues with many in her extended family.

Who are Casey’s bicons?

She doesn’t have bicons, per se. In general, she reserves admiration for non-celebrities... people she comes across in real life who are making positive changes in the world. But she admires Josephine Baker for many reasons, including the fact that she was bisexual at a time when it was not easy to be. Casey’s also a big fan of Frank Ocean's music. She was in college when he came out as bisexual, and that was a big deal to her.

Does your OC/MC have any friends/family in the LGBTQIA+ community?

Yes, she does. She isn’t aware of anyone in her family who is, but later, her brother-in-law, Jordan, is bisexual, and her youngest daughter identifies as bisexual, demiromantic, and demisexual. Many of her friends are LGBTQIA+, including her ex-girlfriend, Jessica, who remains a lifelong friend. From canon, she is close friends with Bryce, Jackie, and Raf, who are all queer; and since @mydemonsdrivealimo was kind enough to allow me to borrow their wonderful MC, Jensen Valentine, as one of Casey’s bff’s, he's also included.

How/why did you decide to make Casey bisexual?

I’ve considered her bisexual from the start when I was just playing the app and not involved with the fandom. Maybe it’s because I’m bi, and my mind works from that place? In canon, she definitely had a flirtation with Jackie that could have become more, but when things got nasty during the competition, that was a complete turn-off for Casey.

When I began writing fanfic and further developed her character, I wanted her to be out and bi. Since her current relationship, which is the main one I write for, is straight presenting, it can be challenging to portray. Honestly, in the past, there were times when I downplayed her bisexuality due to the negative feedback/hate I received. The majority of which was she wasn't “queer enough." Sometimes they attacked/questioned my own sexuality and I let that bullshit get into my head and I stopped exploring/highlighting this aspect of Casey. Fortunately, I’ve gotten over that, and I’m enjoying exploring her past relationships and what it’s like being a bi-woman married to a man in our society. The “not queer enough” and bi-erasure issues are something she grapples with, and I’m glad to have the opportunity to explore these themes in my writing.

Is Casey celebrating Bisexual Awareness Week? How?

I don’t think she celebrates it in the same way she does Pride. It’s not festive; there are no parades or parties and such. But she is involved in LGBTQIA+ activism year round, and she amplifies it during bi-awareness week. Some years, it’s increased outreach; in others, she speaks at events, gives interviews, hosts events, etc. She does her best to increase visibility and acceptance year-round; this is just a week to bring it to the forefront.

Anything else you’d like to share about Casey and/or her identity?

She considers herself very fortunate to have parents, close family, and friends who were supportive of her. She’s aware many are not so fortunate. Working with LBGTQIA+ youth is her passion, especially those who have not been met with acceptance. She also works with organizations that support the elderly queer population. Many don’t realize that older people in the queer community were often disowned or have strained familial relationships. It’s not uncommon for them to lack the support and assistance most people require as they age. That’s where organizations like SAGE can be helpful, and Casey tries to shine a light on this issue.

Thanks for those who took a little time to learn about my girl, Casey. I really appreciate it! And happy bi-awareness week/day/month - fuck it - year to everyone.

[theangryjikooker]

Hi, TAJ! It's me again 😅 I know it's impossible to please everybody, but I'm seeing such extreme reactions to JK doing Seven (nvm Scooter and the whole payola - I honestly lack the knowledge about this to form an opinion) and the possible rumours of him having an all English album. I've mentioned how fun the mv was and I love listening to it bec it's a bop (for me). I wouldn't look down on JK if he does create/select English songs.

Should people criticize JK if he decides not to create a deep/reflective/emotional album? He's been doing covers of pop songs esp JB's. He was always vocal about his interest in Western pop music. May I ask your thoughts/opinions should he opt to go this direction? Thank you!

(For the record, you ask the most interesting questions. Thanks!)

There’s this prevailing idea that an artist who can insert a piece of themselves into their work is somehow more deserving of the occupation. The demand and expectation for vulnerability from an artist that may prefer not to give into it reeks of entitlement.

“But we’re the reason for his success! We have a right to x!”

Then don’t support him anymore? Move on. All good things come to an end at some point. (Though I believe any pushback from this is a result of sunk cost fallacy a bit.)

If all Jungkook ever wants to do is sing and explore genres, with his only contribution being in the selection process of songs that motivate him and sound good, that’s his prerogative. He could still be just as successful if he chooses to move in that direction, but could it possibly alienate listeners who are expecting more? Sure. Music is a subjective experience, but there are just as many people who don’t care, who love music for music and aren’t so interested in storytelling. To make judgment calls on others that don’t fit your idea of an ideal artist/music listener is so pretentious. It’s not wrong, just pretentious.

Of course, there’s a lot more authenticity and inspiration to be had from artists who write, produce, and/or play instruments for their own songs. It elevates them into a different category of artist, but that doesn’t make someone who chooses not to do any of that less than. And I say “chooses,” because we already know that Jungkook can write his own songs and melodies—that when he actually puts his mind to something (and if he were consistent about it) he can ace it.

But, rationally, even the above can also instill a sense of frustration and/or bitterness because if you have all this so-called talent, the question becomes why aren’t you utilizing it? Why do you get to reap success from “doing nothing” while your other members give their all and aren’t receiving the same kind of recognition (either from a corporate level or from the general public)?

The last question is especially pointed because it’s the current theme of ARMY ire these days. I’m not sure what it was this fandom was expecting. BTS was vocal about how they had to suppress their individuality (I believe in the vein of creative/musical direction) to prioritize the group. What Jungkook has said so far does not surprise me in the slightest; the fact that he has been more expressive about his desired trajectory and that said desires are self-oriented is neither shocking nor offensive.

Sometimes I feel like the OT7 mantra has been warped along the way to be extremely idealistic and, as a result, unrealistic. A lot of observant ARMYs have been aware of this for a long time, and these same people are living their best ARMY life, free of drama.

Anyway, back to the original question: should people be able to criticize him for potentially choosing a more “superficial” path with his upcoming album? Of course they can, but I also feel like this fandom’s response to Jungkook lately has been antagonistic because of how he’s been benefiting from his solo debut. And it’s fair to feel that way, but to then judge him for his preferences and the way he’s navigating his solo career because your fave(s) did more or abided by some arbitrary handbook of self-conduct that he’s not following to the letter is just pointlessly stupid.

There’s a difference between genuinely believing that it’s not the kind of path you were anticipating and that for him to opt for a more generic pop star route is cheating or even lazy, and feeling critical because of how your fave(s) was/were treated or not. It’s retaliatory and misguided, which is how a lot of people are moving right now.

I personally think it would be kind of lame if he does go that route, but only because I know what he’s done and can do, but I don’t care if that’s his choice. I’m also interested to see how far he pushes the boundaries in the genres he wants to sing anyway, so there’s still an element of interest there for me if he remains hands-off. And even then, that doesn’t mean he won’t want to make a more personal and intimate contribution in the future.

Ultimately, I’ve had no concerns with what Jungkook has said or done as of late (I do have a concern for him, but it’s speculative and unrelated to this post). People don’t have to like the direction he’s taking, but I find most of the discourse surrounding it disingenuous because they can usually be traced back to the defense of and anger for a different bias.

[dearweirdme]

Truly you guys hold so much disrespect towards Jungkook's music. Why are you reducing his music to straightification when I could say he is the member besides RM and Jhope thought most to be straight? Like yes we can acknowledge there are women in his MV, but why don't you see it as just art instead of some dumb ploy? Also you can tell that people that say this have not listened to the album except seven and 3d. How is hate you, snty, closer to you, yes or no, shot glass of tears straight?

Hi anon!

I don’t feel that’s what most of us are doing, though perhaps some are… there’s always outliers. I don’t feel they put in more effort to make Jk seem straight.. I think they just followed the blueprint of male straight popstars. To me it’s more that they left little room for the idea of Jk being into men also. But I was never under the impression that there was going to be much room for that anyways… and maybe I should specify that I think this goes mostly for Jk’s mv’s. Which is what a lot of people use as a reference when forming ideas about an artist’s preferences.

I do see it as art and I think it’s definitely not something that has been used to make him look straight. There aren’t that many who think of Jk as queer, so the need to settle that ‘problem’ wasn’t there to begin with. But they also didn’t invite any speculation. To me it was more about that.. keeping the ‘he’s straight’ going.

I do agree that there’s a possible queer reading of his lyrics (and let’s not forget the bisexual possibility here), and that people tend to ignore that. But to me that is what the power of mv’s is. It gives clear imagery so people usually stick with that. With straight still being the default, for people to consider someone to be queer there has to be something more on the nose to point to that. But I don’t feel like there’s been a wish from both Jk and the companies to make people consider the possibility of him being queer.. so they just went with what is the default for a lot of male popstars.

This is a Tkk blog, so you’ll often find our discussions going in that direction and the way Jk has been portrayed is part of those discussions. That does not mean that aside from that we do not see the art. I am very much aware that Jk is an artist first to fandom and that he wants that to be the case. Ofcourse his album and his mv’s aren’t designed to make us think he is straight. We just talk about it around here in that way at times because to us it ties in with Tkk.

[yomiurinikei]

utsuro?

brief emeto joke that’s the only cw i think? anyways. this fucking guy…..

- My identity hc for them

iiii….. think his whole “nothing matters because i get whatever i want” had already set in by the time he would’ve really started getting interested in other people? i don’t really have identity hcs for him i don’t think he actually exists. collective hallucination by the entire sdra cast.

also i think the divine luck got him gender affirming healthcare. but anyways.

- Thoughts on their home life/family

i hope his parents explode ! anyways i wonder if utsuro (prior to his no emotions no attachment era) was like damn i’ll find some people to actually love and respect me!! and sure enough found a couple willing to love and dote on him w/o knowing about his divine luck but he got paranoid and dipped out because he felt he was forcing them into it and they actually hated him.

- How i feel about their canonical writing/handling

underutilized sorry. sooo much more could’ve been said could have been done et cetera. the ramifications of the divine luck are underused his coming back in sdra2 was underused etc etc. there’s sooo much that could be said with him and it’s so easy to do it is the smallest fucking reach and linuj is like. this is utsuro he is like kamakura but with divine luck :). and everyone was like omg so true!! and he’s reduced down and isn’t handled with actual depth. like. there’s Reasons for why he is the way he is. aaa!

- The one thing i’d want to make canon about them

system. for utsuro specifically i think he struggles a lot with detachment and has frequent dissociative episodes. he’s not quite prone to third person/out of body episodes but i think he struggles with orienting himself in the world (spatial awareness) and staying aware of his surroundings.

- My number one favorite ship for them

*looks up from where i’m poking utsuro with a stick while in the rain* huh.

- …Now everyone else i ship with them

*goes back to poking at him*

- The thing i will NEVER ship

utsutai. im pretty much chilling with whatever else (above answers were just me conveying that idgaf im neutral whatever happens happens!) but i think reading their interactions as romantic is a disservice to their characters. like if u look at them and go yeah there was romantic love and desire to date here. ?????

- a dynamic/relationship i wish was explored more (in canon, or in fandom)

was trying to think of smthn and i think we should chat about utsuros feelings on mikako more. she tries to get him yeeted in ch5 as we all know and also there’s everything with pre game and it’s just. ??? why do we not address this. alsoooo i’ve yet to see like. a non despair/post game/etc au or fic or anything that portrays utsuros vibe with the voids/cou in a way i enjoy. so. …. maybe i need to read more fic tho

- thoughts on their design (appearance-wise)

cute! sometimes it looks a bit off to me but i think that’s just a matter of hues/undertones. i reaaaally like his color palette in sdra2, it hits right there. i’ll always think the color choices of the uniform were a bit silly but ultimately it looks cute!! in dra it’s just a weird mix of warm hues vs gray undertones (this applies to like.. skin and hair not just clothes) but sdra2 looks very nice!!!

- A music-related thought- a song that reminds me of them, or what their music taste is, etc

AGH. hold it in, and beady eyes on the horizon, both by jukebox the ghost. i don’t want to talk about it tho. i have nothing else to say. im gonna go throw up over beta.

[the1975attheirverybest]

unpopular opinion: I actually think our fandom has kinda veered into criticizing Matty too quickly/ too much and stopped giving him the benefit of the doubt (or grace). Ever since he went on the podcast that shall not be named it’s like he’s constantly on trial and has to prove that our love/ praise of him in the past has not retroactively been misguided. It feels like nothing he’s done is good enough anymore and I don’t think that is fair or reasonable. People always expect him to justify/ explain/ speak out/ learn/ apologize and do it instantly and perfectly. On their terms. While also putting on a killer show every single night. All of this also blends into criticizing the show, the music, his looks, his energy level, any commercial decisions (e.g. orange vinyl) … There is so much disagreement and negativity and outrage all the time. Nobody seems to appreciate or look forward to anything anymore. Everybody always expresses how anxious they are he could do something that will cause drama. There are tons of memes about how "scary" it is to see his instagram notifications… it’s kinda sad and exhausting to see and makes me want to engage less with the fandom.

and I am not saying he is perfect/ should rest on his laurels/ doesn’t have to do more. I am perfectly aware that he is a privileged white man and we don’t need to coddle him but I already struggle with expressing this opinion w/o prefacing it with 5000 disclaimers so I won’t upset anyone/ get a harsh reply…

anyway, I hope this is making some sense. Maybe some people can relate xx

I agree with this. I think there’s this weird paranoia about being a Stan or whatever. Also, on Twitter, at least, people seem to gain some kind of ego boost or validation from criticizing him to appear woke.

For myself, my harshest lesson in this was actually the podcast. Specifically before Finsbury. I had assumed that he felt a certain way and was baffled by him until I saw and heard what he said onstage that day and felt ashamed of myself. Because I knew who he is as a person and I chose to throw all that away and agree with the woke police only to be proven wrong in the end. I never should’ve doubted him in the first place or assumed that he would suddenly changed all of his ideals and values overnight. It didn’t make sense. But the shitstorm was so wild I got caught up in it. Lesson learned. Never again will I treat him like that. I don’t care what Twitter activists say. It’s obvious what kind of man he is and if someone doesn’t see it it’s cuz they’re a dumbass.

[cursed-elo-images]

My Thoughts on Hugh McDowell

Oookay so I’m two days late with this, but I want to make this post today anyway because there was something that inspired me to do so in the first place… Consider this a tribute to Hugh McDowell in text form!

Content warning: mentions of death, cancer and addiction, so anyone that is uncomfortable with these topics should be warned. If anyone wishes to skip past this point for what ever reason, please do so.

Two days ago, in 2018, which was roughly five years ago, Hugh McDowell sadly passed away from cancer. Sometimes, I don’t even know what to think about his death—he was so full of energy that I just cannot believe he’s…gone. He is one of my favorite members of this band, and he means so much to me.

As I have mentioned before, I didn’t get into the fandom until 2023, but I did start liking the music since early 2020. I loved the classical sound of this specific flavor of rock music, and Hugh and the rest of the string trio carried that. Once I got into the fandom, it made me realize just how interesting the people behind this music were. But since this post is specifically about Hugh, so I’m just going to talk about him in this post.

Hugh McDowell. Hugh McDowell! HUGH MCDOWELL!!! Oh how I love this man so much. I love how creative he is and that he doesn’t play the cello conventionally. No—he throws it up into the air, spins it, dances with it, and sometimes even plays it like a guitar! How cool is that!? I for one did not expect a cellist to behave like that!

And his sense of fashion, too. I love all of his very flamboyant suits, like the pink/purple one in the RockPalast concert, the cream colored one with the pink dress shirt from the RockPalast interview—and many more suits. Also I love his long hair. He’s so good at parting it, and controversial opinion incoming: while I like it to a lesser degree, the hairstyle he has in 1975 that was slightly shorter with short bangs was actually pretty good too! And his moustache—I can’t get enough of it. To a lesser extent I like his beard now too—it doesn’t really scare me like it used to. But when he only had a moustache 🤌🤌🤌also I do like his clean shaven look from late 1974 as well.

Can we talk about his personality too? This man was so full of ENERGY!!! The fact that he broke down his (or was it Bev’s?) locked hotel door will never not be funny to me. Not to mention eating parts of a tree. I once heard how he accidentally smashed his cello into bits and pieces and freaked out and was like “uhhh everyone in the audience can keep these pieces of my cello as a souvenir! 😅” How he nonchalantly kept a pet snake on the plane which scared everyone but him.

Moving on, let’s talk about his soft side— yes, Hugh McDowell’s soft side!!! He absolutely loved books, and practically read them all the time. However, I do not know what he read about: the history of classical music? Snakes? Who knows! But what we do know is that he loved to read a lot! He was also super good friends with Melvyn Gale—best friends even. He also loved his pet snake, whose name was Cleo, dearly—the two were inseparable. He even cried when he had to give her up—that’s dedication right there.

Okay, so all I’m going to say is: I am aware that he isn’t perfect. No one is. We all have our moments. Just as long as we try our best to be the best we can be, then we will go into the right direction. It absolutely breaks my heart to hear about his alcohol addiction. I do not know if he did get over it (I hope) but if I’m being honest, I know this may sound cliche and even ridiculous, but I wish I could have helped him. What I mean by this is that I wish and hope he had someone to help him regarding that. It is heavy on my heart, that if I could have helped him, I would. I really would. Still, I am glad that he had a life filled with fun and cellos, but I can’t ignore this situation…

Overall: I love this person. He is really amazing, and I wish to have him back. So this month I like to remember what an amazing ELO member he was and I love thinking of all the funny things he did.

He’s just so interesting…

[jeonqkooks]

*quietly slides the door open* so what's new?? 👀

Heh, sorry I couldn't help myself and not say a few thing on MY FAVORITE BLOG ON TUMBLR ㅋㅋ Sooo 3D... I think we've been so spoiled by the tannies all these years that the moment western musicians are making a song with one of the boys it just sooo obvious, idk how to put it ... but as overall quality on a scale from 1 to 100, while bangtan's music (both group and solo) is 90 something to 100, songs like 3D are like an 8 😶 and it's not even the fact that it's explicit, it's just sounds eh. (I liked Seven more too)

I've seen so many people pressed about the fact that some don't like the og version with Jack and I'm like "????" As long as they're not straight up hating everyone should be allowed to like/dislike whatever they want, if sth really makes them uncomfortable they can always choose not to listen, it's not that big of a deal. We don't have to call anyone a prude or some other stuff I've seen for not liking a song 💀 and if we're being honest almost 90% of western music nowadays has something to do with sex so it's understandable that we're fed up with that.. and about the lyrics.... I won't even go there 😅 I have an entire playlist of sexy songs that have wayy better lyrics and vibe.

Anyways, we indirectly promised the boys that we're good with whatever they choose to put out, freedom i guess, however we might not always be in sync and that's okay. I'm sure they're aware that everyone has different tastes. There will be many years ahead of us, to do and try a variety of things. Once everyone accept this fact, it'll all fall into place.

Again, so sorry that you always have to listen to our rambles, Jen 😂 buy yourself something nice today so you won't get too stressed!

- 🎃

favorite blog asdfhkhfkas PUMPKIN 😭

an 8 lolllll i had to reread that to see if you meant an 8 on a scale of 1-10 but nope it's 1-100 😂 that's a fair assessment. i'll just say this as it is. basic pop and western collabs have little substance but they're easy to top charts, easy to rake in numbers, easy to push for awards (cough, grammys 😑) which seems to be what hybe is doing rn with jk. i guess they're succeeding so... good for them?

this fandom is so quick to tear people apart for not kissing the ground that the boys walk on lol. it's literally just music. tastes are subjective. what's not clicking? coming after someone just bc they don't like a song is dumbass behavior lol i'm sorry. wait till you hear that i haven't listened to seven since july 15 (it was released on july 14) 🤣 i'm sure there are people out there who wanna bring back the guillotine just for me

yes that's true. the boys can release any kind of music they want, but we as listeners - literal consumers - don't have to vibe with it. it's not mutually exclusive. not liking something they do / not liking a song does not and should not make you public enemy no.1 lol

pls i am always open to discourse! 🤣 i love hearing your different thoughts and opinions instead of just uniformed, robotic screaming all the time. i usually have a lot to say too hahahhaha i just don't wanna do it unprompted 😂