#anyway they're both practical people and I get the idea neither of them have great deception | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

scaryarcade · 2 years ago

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hey i've been wanting to reply to this for a while but kept getting sidetracked by life stuff! under a cut bc it's long. i'm also including a rly thoughtful writeup from a follower of mine who asked if they could share their thoughts on this post anonymously.

so, for the specific question of how people would still get their meds in this hypothetical scenario where psychiatry has been abolished...well like, disclaimer. abolition means a lot of different things to different people so i can't claim to speak for any other proponents of psychiatric abolition here. anyway

no, i don't necessarily think it would be the safest option for antipsychotics, SSRIS, etc to be sold over-the-counter. i personally think medication access could work similarly to the informed consent model for HRT that many clinics currently use. i think people should be the primary decision makers about their own healthcare and should have access to medication if they have been informed of the short and long term risks and benefits of it.

the informed consent model can still be abused to deny people access, though, and yes, there will still need to be providers that are trained to prescribe psych meds and inform patients of risks, side effects, etc. so this system would need to work in tandem with a few other ideas that are really important to me, namely:

user-led mental health care - i firmly believe in a mental health care system that is led by people who use mental health services.

the input of lived experience researchers and providers - decisions on mental health research, standards of care, training, etc, should be made first and foremost by professionals who have lived experience with a mental health condition.

these ideas are already being put into limited practice in a lot of healthcare settings, which is great! i don't want to reform the entire psych industry to prioritize these values, though, i want to build a system that inherently has these values at its core. i think when people think about abolition of an institution like psychiatry, they think it only encompasses the destruction/dismantling of existing systems. however, in addition to this, the construction of new, better systems and supports is CRUCIAL to abolition of any kind (prison abolition, psychiatric abolition, etc.) this is why i side with psych abolition over psych reform.

ok that's all i got, here are some additional thoughts on treatment, medication and autonomy that a follower of mine wanted to share anonymously:

I mean, if we trust people to reliably self-diagnose and even if they're wrong about the specifics, to note distressing or dangerous side effects and consult with a pharmacist at that point, who would also be the same person who advised them on potential side effects beforehand and portioned out a safe quantity of safe dosages based on previous fill history - yes.

If we assume that people are trying to take care of themselves and that includes research; provide safe sources so that if the person is taking the medication for addiction reasons that they won't end up dead or seriously harmed; abd educate on the very serious consequences if it is used above safe dosages or for self-harm - yes.

Ivermectin is already available to anyone who wants it, and has been used at harmful doses by people who didn't do proper research and used it for something that it was neither indicated for - nor may have been the case, if they operated on symptoms and not a test.

Pharmacists fill scripts, but they have to understand dosages, medication interactions, usage, and more. They both inform doctors if a dangerously incorrect prescription is sent in and inform customers who have questions about meds, often being required to explain what a potentially dangerous side effect is and whether to stop the med immediately or see a doctor first if experiencing that side effect.

At some point, we have to provide people with the resources to take care of themselves in order to take away as little autonomy as possible. We have to warn people of the potential harm they can do if they act carelessly, but just like we have "don't ride if you're pregnant or have heart problems" and "don't use the hairdryer in the bath" signage, we have to say "don't use this med without proper research".

As someone whose ongoing psych med journey is reaching 8 years, I now go to my med manager and say "here is my diagnosis, here are the specific symptoms I am struggling with, here are potential side effects of meds for this diagnosis I am concerned with, and so I would like to try this drug/class of drugs".

Because being informed is already crucial to medical care. Doing your own research and not accepting everything at face value, especially if you are disabled and extra especially if you are chronically ill, is necessary.

But there's also something to be said that, dismantling the psychiatric system isn't dismissing doctors, any more than dismantling the medical system is. If you have the right to self-diagnosis, IMO, all you'll be doing is going to a doc (or pharmacist) and saying "here's my condition, here's my symptoms, this is the med I want" or "here's my condition, here's my symptoms, what med would you recommend".

Because trusting people to reliably self-diagnose does mean trusting them to reliably self-diagnose in all contexts. Everyone should be doing research about meds both before and after doctor's appointments. Minimally after.

Plus, I've seen doctors refuse meds for already diagnosed conditions. On the basis of "symptom mismatch" being the most common, often in hugely ableist ways. Just this past week I read about someone's new doc refusing to renew their schizophrenia meds because they were "too pretty to be schizophrenic". And ofc, there's the common ADHD refusal of medication or diagnosis because "you did well in school". Doctors are so often more ignorant than patients that I have yet to find more than ONE across ALL specialties that I haven't had to educate on at least one condition. In the psychiatric field, the average teaching I have to do is three conditions. (Autism, DID, and psychosis/schizophrenia being most common).

Doctors are not actually an elevated class of people. I've found from talking to the good ones that I spent more time learning about my condition in an hour of research than they did in their entire schooling. Even specialists have to be generalists, because even within one body part or system there's so much that can go wrong. Meanwhile we have the time and space to become experts on the conditions we live with.

Most people aren't actually super careless with their health (and those that do often have an underlying mental health reason - which stating both condition and symptoms will help catch as long as the person is being honest. Dishonesty is not a reason to restrict access for honest people, as people can lie under any conditions. People are lying now, and depending on how stigmatized the condition is and how privileged the patient is, some lie successfully.)

Therapy is both the simpler and more complex issue. Obviously there need to be nonbigoted, educated therapists to provide therapy. But the solution is simply to provide the therapy itself to anyone who seeks it out.

It's also worth noting that unless you have multiple or lesser-known conditions, primary care providers are often the ones to prescribe anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds, ADHD meds including amphetamines, and some antipsychotics - including for off-label usage (such as using a nerve pain/seizure med like gabapentin to treat anxiety).

To be anti-psych is to be against any disruption of access to care, including doctors gatekeeping medication. Without being able to order medication yourself, doctors will ALWAYS be able to gatekeep it from people, some of whom need it. It is still possible that some people may not be careful or may otherwise harm themselves.

But harm to the self is not morally wrong. As someone who has been involuntarily hospitalized in a way that saved my life but also traumatized me as a result of abuse due to the inherent power dynamics that come with removal of a person's autonomy, I am strongly against removing a person's autonomy "to protect them". It's quite honestly condescending and patronizing to say "I know what's good for you and have the right to violate your consent because you're a 'danger to yourself'."

(Personally, I am of the opinion that adequate social support structures + ongoing research in treatment of mental health + access to euthanasia after a period of time if all else fails - because you have to enshrine the right to life and quality of life before the right to death - would reduce suicide attempts to very near zero.)

There's some argument to be made about restricting a person's access to others if they are a danger to others, but not the self. Help MUST be sought voluntarily, or it is neither effective nor healthy. Being unhealthy should be an individual's choice, including choosing to harm the self. They can and should be encouraged not to, but not forced. That is just as harmful as the alternative (yes, even when the alternative is death. Death is permanent but also softer and kinder than trauma. Those that disagree can still seek voluntary care when struggling with those feelings.)

But restricting a person's autonomy because you don't want the weight of them harming themself on YOUR conscience is both selfish and oppressive. It was never on you in the first place to do anything but discourage them. You cross a line when you force them. Violating their consent - and make no mistake, involuntary restriction of autonomy is a violation of consent, it's in the name, and the instant it goes from voluntary to involuntary it becomes one - is wrong, no matter of why you're doing it. But almost especially if it's because "you know better". That's the rhetoric of bigots and abusers.

(Which, to be clear, is not calling everyone that does this either. Just like trans people use terf rhetoric and disabled people use ableist rhetoric, etc, it's something to blamelessly self-examine and excise. It's okay to be forgiving of yourself for it, even if you've upheld the harm it's done to others in the past by using it. What matters is growth.)

its a little bit depressing and.. confusing to me how anti-psychiatry is basically laughed out of the room by syscoursers. there's very little respect for people who exist outside of the system, or for whom the system just Does Not Work.

i think a lot of people get scared when they see these things heavily criticized, or when they see people say that medication and therapy and other resources dont work for them. because if they dont work for everyone they might one day not work for *ME* and *I* need these things to function

like, the main counterpoint i see brought up against anti-psych sentiments is "but i need my meds", which is kind of a fundamental misunderstanding of what anti-psych means and it frustrating to see over and over again

i just. get confused. bc this is a site and community presumably filled with leftists who understand the fundamental evils of capitalism and that our establishments (and, to an extent. our sciences) are shaped by the mindset of western imperialism, but the second you point out psychiatry as an oppressive tool of social control everyone is like "so you want to come into my house and rip the adderall straight out of my hands? youre crazy"

#abyssposting #antipsych

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birlwrites · 2 years ago

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the black family magic is absolutely fascinating to me! but one thing drew me in a lot... the fact that they can draw magic from other magical beings. that's not just terrifying to them (because of the consequences to them + they might get noticed) but also to the people around them. like holyyy crap. i thought evan's speciality was terrifying enough, no, regulus takes it to a whole new level, my god. i was wondering what kind of reason sirius might have to keep this knowledge to himself if he dislikes his family so much, but i think i can imagine why he would keep this a secret...

so my question(s) would be... is the black family magic the most powerful in great britain (or the world, idk how far you went into it)? and if they used their magic to drain another person, would the strength of that other person's magic have an influence on them? (aka draining voldemort vs pettigrew) or maybe their family magic? idk if the family magic is bound to their blood, to their magic, both, or something else, but that could make it even more terrifying

afjslghskfhskghjkf yeah - that particular detail of the blacks' specialty is NOT something they want other people knowing about. as soon as someone Else knows they can do that, they could do some serious damage to the blacks

i will say that drawing magic from other beings is a very obscure branch of the family magic, on purpose - bellatrix wanted to learn how 'just for funsies,' and orion responded by telling bellatrix she was welcome to go do some research on it in the family library at black manor. he conveniently failed to mention that all of the research about how to do this is locked in the lord's vault under the aforementioned manor, which literally only lord black can access.

(a note on that: the head of the family is also considered the keeper of all knowledge on the family magic. they have a responsibility to contribute to their family's research and ensure that their family members are staying safe and discreet about their practice of dark arts. orion figured bellatrix armed with 'drain people of their magic mwahaha >:)' would be neither safe nor discreet, much like pretty much every lord black before him for the past few hundred years whenever one of their family members wanted to learn how to do this, which is exactly why the resources are locked in the lord's vault in the first place afsjghskfjskf)

(a second note: one is not OBLIGATED to seek permission from the head of the family to study one's own family specialty, but they're by far the most likely to know how to go about learning the more obscure stuff, which is why bellatrix mentioned it to orion in the first place)

(the outcome of this conversation was bellatrix suspecting that there were, in fact, no resources on this type of magic in the family library, and orion silently daring her to accuse lord black of hiding sensitive information from other family members, which is just ludicrous because like. he's absolutely doing exactly that at all times, that's kind of expected, it's not the 'gotcha' some people might think it is. bellatrix could bring it up at a family dinner but everyone else would just be like 'yeah and?' then andromeda ran away so they had other things to think about)

personally, i also like the irony of it, because some of the anti-muggleborn rhetoric we see in canon is that muggleborns 'steal' magic from people who were born with it. the hypocrisy<3 although i suppose the blacks as a house were pretty much extinguished by the time that the ministry was really circulating that idea in the second war with voldemort. also, like, this fic is so far from being beholden to canon afjlghskfjdk. but anyway i appreciate irony

whenever you're questioning why sirius is keeping quiet about the dark network and his estranged family's use of dark arts, just remember the two key factors: sirius is friends with a mckinnon, and sirius was up to his elbows in those dark arts until after starting at hogwarts. also, it's leverage

as to whether it's the most powerful magic in great britain (i'm not really considering the rest of the world afsjglshdfkj, this fic is already complicated enough) - i mean, it depends on what your goal is?

the biggest benefit of the black specialty is that basically, it's a power-up for whatever magic you might want to do. it's super flexible and it is very much powerful. that being said, it comes with some massive trade-offs, and it's not super applicable to everyday life - and if you're too ambitious about using it, the effects are noticeable

so if your goal is power, and you don't care very much about the long-term or about concealing your use of dark arts, then... well, let me put it this way: if voldemort had even a shred of an affinity for the black specialty, he'd be tearing britain apart figuring out how to use it. (he does care a lot about the long term but the guy also made 6 horcruxes ON PURPOSE so he's clearly willing to take risks.) the specialty is literally just power. that's what the blacks get for being the first to start figuring out this 'inherited affinity' shit - they have magic that's the stuff of legends.

which, naturally, raises the question: what has bellatrix lestrange, née black, voldemort's devoted lieutenant, told him about the familial dark arts she grew up with? 👀

okay let's abandon that question for the moment and move on to the other part of your ask (and for anyone who doesn't want to scroll up to see what that part was: it's 'if a black used their magic to drain another person of their magic, would that other person's specific magic affect them?')

someone who's more powerful magically has a lot more magic for this person to take (let's just say it's bellatrix, so i have the clarity of just using someone's name lol - this isn't meant to be hinting at anything that actually happens in the story)

so like, if bellatrix were to drain voldemort of his magic, she'd get a whole lot more out of it than if she drained someone less magically powerful, like peter to use the example you provided afsglhsdfhskjdlkf

but that also means that if bellatrix were to take the same amount of magic from both voldemort and peter, voldemort would recover faster, and maybe be less affected by the draining than peter would. if bellatrix took a small enough amount, proportionally speaking, the drainee might not even notice it happening

affinities for family magics shape pretty much everything about how that person interacts with magic. this will come up a handful of chapters from now! so if bellatrix were to drain, say, someone with a greengrass plant affinity, she'd basically have gotten herself a DIY greengrass affinity, BUT it would be temporary.

okay how can i explain this in a way such that it will make sense outside of my brain. let's try this:

the affinity is rooted in the body. like the actual, physical, concrete body of the person with the affinity. this includes blood but it's not limited to blood - it's everything about their actual corporal form. (are people with strong dark affinities fully human? great question! i'm sure the mckinnons are debating it, but quietly so they don't piss off their fellow dark families)

however, magic is a... force? is the best way i can describe it? some sort of not-quite-concrete substance? magic moves around freely, and then it pools in certain places - magical creatures (including magical humans), objects, locations, certain long-lasting spells like wards, etc etc etc. like, imagine it's water vapor or something like that. it's absolutely everywhere, and then in some places (bodies of water! flora! fauna! those rocks with water trapped inside!), it concentrates into water.

for some reason i'm always comparing magic to water. this will come up in the same chapter i referenced above w/ how affinities shape how people interact with magic

so magic outside of the body is different from magic inside the body, but the magic inside the body isn't *innate* to the body - it's the process of entering the body that shapes it into something specific. and if you have an affinity, then it's shaped even more specifically.

so if bellatrix were to drain uh. evan's mom (a greengrass by birth), then she'd get that magic which is shaped by and for the greengrass specialty. but that's not a permanent state of that magic, *and* bellatrix isn't going to retain that magic permanently. unless she somehow set up a tattoo or scar that would be constantly drawing magic from evan's mom - but even then, she wouldn't be retaining the original magic, she'd just be constantly getting more

and also, the greengrass affinity of that magic would be weakened because it would then also be shaped by *bellatrix's* affinity

and then the other thing is that having an affinity often means nothing if you don't know how to use it, and *that* knowledge is very restricted, so there's no guarantee bellatrix would be able to use the greengrass specialty - but plants might like her a little more than usual while she has that magic. or maybe not, depending on the plant - some of them might be able to tell that it's stolen and get defensive of their pal, evan's mom (she has a full name but i'm already throwing a lot of character names at you lol)

and as always, let's not forget that this is a story about magical creatures. when they're completely stripped of their magic, their bodies often can't handle it. so this is a good way to kill people - especially because once you start drawing in more magic, it can be very difficult to stop.

#ok this is an ask i'm answering as a reward for doing sO MANY MISCELLANEOUS TASKS #never do group projects they are the worst <3 #should i make an inbox tag #dark lord wip #atfhv worldbuilding

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bonnymori · 3 years ago

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𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐤𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐢 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

Word count: 1200+

Contents/Warnings: (1) Fushiguro Megumi x gn!Reader (2) Classic training but no fighting scene I apologise (3) A... dirty humor joke? (4) Idiot in love cough cough (5) Laidback romance, this may become a pattern on my fanfiction :3

A/N: Hello, I introduce myself as Hara! This is my very first written piece! I would like to apologise for any typos, english is not my first language; that being said, I hope this works out alright! :)

It's around mid afternoon, the sky painted in a vibrant blue with multiple clouds scattered around, Fushiguro recalls having started training right after lunch; he politely declined Maki's suggestion of training together, it wasn't about strength or fighting hand to hand today, the struggle was his shikigami. Lately, he's been having problems over teamwork - before, he thought such a thing was impossible, since all of the shikigami were under one will alone, being his. Yet the amount of times the divine dogs have bumped into eachothers, sometimes Nue would simply skip past the target, not paying attention to it at all.

Or perhaps, he himself was to blame. Fushiguro likes thinking about you, more than he'd admit, but now it's starting to distract for real. That's what he need, to think of you- I mean, concentration! And maybe, new group attacks, that would do nicely, too.

He's been beating a tedious dummy for a hour and half now, maybe more. After managing to make up a combo or two, he sits down on the grass, just to breathe for a moment. Breathing is nice, he observes as the divine dogs go slack like their owner, now playing around with one another rather than chewing the dummies stuffing. His black and white snake is watching the banter between the canine shikigamis, tongue coming in and out just like a real snake. Nue settles upon the dummies ragged body, eyes closed- peacefully enjoying sunbathing. Fushiguro had no idea they were so lively until now, now he knew why people constantly asked if they could pet his shikigami.

He glances down at the frog supporting his arm, it's like they enjoy just laying on grass, just breathing like him.

"How many buddies out! Are you training today, Fushiguro?"

At the sound of your voice, you bet his lips casually turn upwars in a casual yet small smile. Kugisaki saw it from distance once, says she it's almost a robotic response.

"Yes, I'm training their cooperation." Fushiguro replies, swiftly getting up. He notices the frog from earlier making a beeline to you, as if to say hello.

So you crouch down and pets it briefly, smiling at the small creature.

"That ought to be hard, specially with a innefective dummy." You approach its remains, chuckling at all the stuffing and cloth scattered around. "Make me your target instead!"

Say what?

"I uh, come again?"

"I'll do the running and dodging, it's much practical this way!"

He has trouble accepting that, even if it's true. You mean more than an ally on his heart, and besides, that's some Itadori-level-recklessy. So he groans, slightly irritated and obviously, worried for your safety. "You'll get hurt."

"Don't we get hurt everyday? Even if there is an accident, I know you'll call them out and help me quickly, you notice things fast."

He does, Fushiguro would help you in a heartbeat- probably faster.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, lash out on me!"

Putting 'lash' and 'me' in the same phrase got heat rising on his ears, but he complied nonetheless. "Just letting you know, I'll stand here and the shikigami attacks."

You protest. "Wouldn't it be better if you fought among them?"

"For today, I'd like to focus on their compatibility only."

"Oh, got it! Next time we can work on the latter option then!" Next time. He wants there to be a next time.

Even though you're the one troubling his mind in battles, he's head over heels. He remembers when it all started, your relationship is basically pools worth of quality time. You came along with Itadori, tangled into the mess back in Sendai. Strangely, Fushiguro clicked with you even faster than Itadori- your collected personality was a great factor, even though you are just as cheerful as the cherry boy.

"You're spacing out, what's up?"

Fushiguro's gaze snapped up to meet yours, realizing his mistake. "Ah, nothing, let's start." His hands folded as your guard rose, so it begun. If you noticed his lame excuse, you didn't comment about it.

The ravenette was pleasantly relieved how easily you could deceive and dodge his attacks, his shikigami may leave a tear or two on your clothes, that he didn't have to worry about, because they're easily fixable. Naturally, the toughest for you to dodge was mostly his snake, sometimes Nue would surprise you from above, nothing you couldn't handle. He started intensing up using the combined attacks, and immediately noticed your faltering steps, earning a bruise on your calf. Although neither he or you stopped, adrenaline rushing through veins nonstop.

You somehow finished training with a bite mark over your forehead, not deep enough to be worth worry. The instant your bodies came to slack, his shikigami ran to you like little children lost in a supermarket. At this point, it was pratically multitasking, to pet both demon dogs while trying not to run out of breath having Orochi wrapped around your midsection. Megumi flushed over the affectionate antics, knowing they were a manifestation of feelings within himself.

Now, you and Fushiguro are spawled on the training field, neither showered, coated with sweat sticking to your clothes, but it didn't matter much.

"I never realized, just how many cursed energy do you have? It's surprising how many shikigami you kept our for this long time." Fushiguro heard you shifting to sit up, and followed you up.

"A bunch." It was not a creative nor informative answer, but you took it in with a smile on your face anyway.

He watched you get up to fetch a drink, careful to not trip over the shikigami also scattered around -- Fushiguro always 'forgot' to put them away next to you.

You handed him a strawberry yogurt box, the same drink also sat in your hands. "Well then, why are you spacing out so much these days? You can be honest with me."

'She's oblivious enough, I'm in need of advice, it's convenient.' So he thought, figuring if he disguised it enough, you wouldn't be able to tell. It's not a big deal if you did, though, saves time actually.

"Something's on my mind, and it troubles me during fights."

"Simple, you can just come in terms with it."

He glanced down, "Why?"

"The sooner the better, when you accept something, it comes at ease on your mind. I'm a hundred percent sure it works!" You gave him a thumbsup, slurping on the pink drink.

"Such faithful source."

"I'm sure it does! The thought keeps coming back because you're denying it, am I wrong?"

Not really, no. Fushiguro wants to keep it as friendship for the sake of your both careers within the jujutsu world; he knows it's dangerous, yet a part of him just wants to say 'fuck it', like if he had the guts to. The ravenette thinks it's a way too much generic way to describe what he feels, but it's the easiest, so he goes with it anyway. The back of his brain fears rejection, part of the reason why he hasn't made a move yet.

"I'll try it out."

"Good!" And you're always supportive no matter what, to the point it charms him more and more everyday.

For now, he's okay keeping it platonic. But, when the day after tomorrow comes, he just might confess.

#fushiguro megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi+fluff #megumi x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu megumi #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x you

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sizzlingpatrolfox · 3 years ago

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Hi, how do you feel about the recent concerts? All shipping and fs stuff aside i just haven’t been ‘feeling it’ in regards to how they’ve been carrying the concerts overall and I was curious about your opinion in general. Thank you!

Hi! Nope me neither. I didn't like this concert the first time they did it on October last year. I just think they can do so much better, honestly.

Their choreos and dance pieces were one of the main reasons I liked them in the first place. I used to spend hours and hours watching their dance practices and performances in general; I honestly truly genuinely spent more time watching their performances than I did watching other content. So I've been missing a lot of their choreos and good songs.

Inevitably tho, their stamina and physical condition will change as they grow older. They're young, but even football players can't keep playing once they're past 35 40 years old and that's really young! But it takes a toll on the body anyways. Even if they stop doing so much choreos, which I would understand, I don't think it would be hard to get used to concerts of them just singing, BUT... the songs are gonna have to be three times better than what they're doing right now. If they're not going to dance, I honestly don't want to be listening to a setlist that sounds all the same like this one. You can't help but notice if a song is bad when the person is just sitting down and singing it. Imagine butter acoustic version 😐 or PTD 😐. At least with dope, idol, fire, even if they sound kind of the same, the choreo makes all the difference. There's no difference in them singing telepathy stay so what so they have to create the hype themselves by jumping around, interacting with each other, etc.

I'm also curious but wary of what their next album might be like. Namjoon mentioned something like Grammys will take them seriously if they are more involved in their music, but last time they were, BE was the result and BE is not... it's not a good album. They used to be so much more involved from 2018 backwards, and the results were amazing, so I don't know what went wrong. There are also lots of just wrongful things about what Namjoon said, mainly because if you look at the credits of the songs that win, there's at least 10 people who worked on those songs. It's not like doja and SZA wrote kiss me more alone. Shameless plug but Ctrl by SZA is one of my favorite albums of all time and she was extreeeemely involved in it and it's amazing it's brilliant it makes you laugh cry makes you want to go over and start your life again makes you want to never be born at all, it's just so good, and it was nominated but it didn't win a Grammy. They either want to give you the trophy or they don't, period 😭 Idk who's gonna tell BTS and Namjoon that. Certainly bangpd won't tell them that.

So I just hope that they're not gonna be stuck, and have us stuck with them on a PTD Butter loop just because they're chasing after the Grammys. Because even if they're involved, the songs could still be bad and they could still choose to sacrifice a good song in order to make a popular song. I think that for them to have a chance at winning, it has to be both good AND popular. But of course ultimately the decision is made on wether they want to give you the trophy or not.

I'm inclined to thinking that the members themselves have good ideas and great artistry but:

1) they don't seem to work together at all while making the album

2) the company still makes all the decisions

The members working together could be sorted out, but it's hard to say what are hybe's bighit's executives thinking. I hope they also realize that a popular song with 100m views on the first 24hours is not enough 🤦

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eunoiaflow3r · 4 years ago

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when worlds collide - h.p. x gn!avenger!reader

a/n: bahahahahaha no one reads harry x reader lmaoo you don’t have to tell me - i know. but still, i thought this was a cute idea and i went with it. hope you enjoy :)

not edited.

also: timelines don’t match up bc i don’t want to do the math so harry is like 20 - 21 and your like 19 - 20 in 2020. Civil War and everything on didn’t happen. Fred didn’t die.

gn = gender neutral

warning(s): “language!” - captain america.

word count: 3.1k

request(ed): no.

summary: stephen sends y/n to a strange new place with...wizards?

————————————-&—————————————

Never doubt Stephen Strange. That's something that pretty much everyone has accepted. Never second guess the wizard man. Usually you'd agree. Usually you'd just let the man babble about whatever he needed to and then go about your day.

Not now.

The fuckery.

Now you were here (wherever here was) after some flashes of orange and a "be careful." Did he even do the spell right? Is this really where you were supposed to be?

It was dark, and dirty and you just wanted to go home and not talk to anyone so you turned yourself invisible.

You were born with your powers - you think. You were adopted so you wouldn't know where your powers came from. All you know is that one day your parents couldn't find you, even though you were right there. Instead of thinking you were some kind of alien and throwing you out to labs, they helped you control it the best you could.

It was difficult at first, all things considered, but you got through. You discovered you had another power as well. Force fields. Those came in handy during the battles. (You helped where you could), and Tony Stark took you in afterwards as his own. He helped you create your suit, and your name, and discover more about your powers, he was basically a dad to you.

Your parents were a little hesitant letting you join the Avengers, but once they realized this is what you were meant to do, and you had people just like you protecting you, they couldn't keep you from that. They just couldn't.

So here you were, invisible, in some dark and creepy alley. There were doors either side of you, so you got out of the way considering they could open and smack you in the face at any given moment. You heard loud voices and laughing and cheering from both ends of the alley so you walked towards the one in front of you.

The voices were so loud and echoey that you really couldn't focus on anything else. Maybe that's why you didn't hear a boy behind you trip and fall into you from behind.

"I'm so sorry." he said helping you up.

You turned around to help him, he got awfully dirty, and searched for his glasses that fell off his face.

Once standing, he took out a stick, waved it over him, and all of a sudden the dirt and gravel was gone.

"How did you do that?" You were no stranger to magic, but this was something you've never seen before. And why would he do it in front of you? For all he knew, you were an unknowing human.

"What?" He asked eyebrows furrowed together, accent strong.

"With the stick."

He chuckled shoving the stick back in his cloak.

"The stick." He smiled and looked you up and down. "It's a wand. You must not be from around here."

"Yeah, what tipped you off?" You noticed the lightning bolt scar on his head. You wondered how he got it.

"The accent, the clothes, the inability to recognize a simple wand, the ability to be here, not recognizing me, and wait - where is your cloak?"

"Cloak?"

"You were just invisible a moment earlier but I don't see your cloak anywhere."

"I don't have one. I can make myself invisible without a piece of fabric or your fancy stick." You say sarcastically. Were you flirting?

"Handy." He grins. "The name's Harry Potter."

He holds his hand out for you to shake. "Y/N L/N."

He asks you if you want to talk somewhere besides a dark dirty alley. You agreed. It took some convincing though to let him use his stick to clean the clothes you had on, but to change your outfit to something less, standout-ish.

When you felt the witch hat on your head you immediately snatched it off your head and glared at him.

He just laughed.

Once out of the alley, you breathed in the now clean air, and was mesmerized. People were bustling in and out of small shops, animals were flying and chirping around their owners, children were running around with their friends and siblings, and people were waving sticks, or wands, just like Harry used.

"C'mon, this way." He smiled at your awestruck face. It reminded him of when he first arrived with Hagrid all those years ago.

He brought you inside a coffee shop, and sat you at a booth near the window knowing you'd probably want to still look outside at the new scenes.

After ordering, and a few moments of silence as you looked around, you decided to ask some questions.

"Where am I?"

"We're in Diagon Alley. It's like an outside mall."

"I mean like, planet? I guess?"

"Earth."

"Earth?"

"Well, more specifically London. Diagon Alley."

"London?! I'm in London?!"

"You've never been? To Earth? Or London?"

You rolled your eyes silently cursing Strange. "I'm from Earth. The United States, actually. I just wish he'd put me on a fucking plane or something instead of making it seem like I was going to Mars."

"He?" Harry was very curious.

You looked into his green eyes, your mind wandering. The guy in front of you was very attractive. His dark hair complimented his eyes, and his glasses made him even more attractive.

"You guys are wizards right?"

"Really? What gave you that impression?" He asks sarcastically. "The sticks, the pointy hats, or the big bowl with green liquid sitting outside?”

You rolled your eyes. "Very funny. It's not my fault you live into the stereotype of brewing potions in your cauldrons -"

"Oh well I can only assume you're one of those Avengers from the States, yeah?" He grins. "You guys are all over the news."

"Yes, sure -"

"And don't one of you wear capes and another shoot lasers or lightning or whatnot? Sounds very stereotypical to me."

You laugh as the waitress brings over your drinks and muffins. You thank her. "No, well yes, that's Strange and Thor, but that's besides the point -"

"Well of course it's strange." He grins and winks and you over his mug. He was purposely annoying you and found great joy in it.

"Anyway," you sigh getting back to the point. "Do you guys have a Wizard here, like a powerful, trusting, all-knowing kind of guy?"

His eyes dropped slowly and his smile dimmed for a moment before slowly widening once again.

"Had. His name was Dumbledore."

"Our guy is Stephen Strange. Or Dr. Strange. He sent me here, and I'm not sure why."

"Hmmm." He hums setting down his mug. "Are the states in danger? Were you sent here on a secret quest that would put you through tough trials that would risk your life but would ultimately save everyone you've ever loved so you just have to do it?"

You were in a silent shock. "Uhm. No, not that I'm aware of, no."

"Well then perhaps your Wizard Strange is playing matchmaker."

"Matchmaker?"

"Well you were sent here weren't you?" You nod. "Arrived outside the exact place where I was and I just happened to bump into you? Sounds like a set-up to me."

"Or a coincidence."

"I'd like to think it was fate that I bump into the most attractive person I've ever seen and they don't know who I am and won't judge me 'cause of my past." He took a bite of his muffin.

"Should I be worried?"

"I guess you'll have to figure that out yourself." He winks.

You decide to eat your muffin as well. It was a comfortable silence until you looked out of the window and noticed a guy crouching down behind a cauldron...with a camera.

"Harry?"

"Hm?"

"Why is there a man outside taking pictures of you?"

His eyes widened. "Oh shit." He whispered. "Here." He took out a baseball cap and put it over your head, hiding your face from the camera.

He gets out of his seat quickly pulling you along with him to the back of the shop but before you could say anything he had his wand pulled out.

Next thing you saw was a couch and living room.

"Wow." You panted. "What a way to bring a girl home."

"I apologise Y/N, I block them out so much I forget they're even there and now they've seen you, and have a story and -"

"Wait, wait, wait, are you wanted for murder or something?"

Harry walks over to his bookshelf and pulls out a rather large book. After opening up on the table, he waved his wand over it and beckons you over to read it.

'Boy who lived.'

'Golden boy defeats Voldemort'

'winner of Triwizard tournament'

And there was so much more… 'Harry Potter' in bold just strewn across the pages. His whole life story.

Your eyes widen at everything. "So both and neither. War hero. How come I've never heard of you? Or any of this?"

He smiles at the pages fondly, running his fingers across the letters and reminiscing on his times at Hogwarts.

"Unlike you Avengers, we like to keep our business private and quiet. We don't like prying eyes."

You scoff. "Not our fault we have alien invasions every year."

Harry agreed and for the rest of the night you sat on his couch talking and sometimes arguing, over every little thing. It felt like you two had known each other forever.

You're not sure when, but you fell asleep there and woke with your head on his chest and his arm wrapped around your waist. You're not sure how the two of you ended up this way, and you realized you were practically strangers, but you didn't want to move. You just wanted to tangle your fingers through his dark hair.

But you didn't. Instead you stared at his closed eyes, and focused on his long, dark, eyelashes that fluttered a little from time to time. You thought about how you could get used to this. Waking up with his arm wrapped around you.

You told him last night that if he was actually a serial killer, and wanted to kill you that you had a whole team of people who would rip him limb from limb. He had no doubts and looked actually scared of your threat.

You thought about what it'd be like to live here among people like you.

Stomach grumbling, you decided to get up and see if he had anything you could make for him. It's the least you could do. His face turned when you left his arms, but you quickly pulled the blanket over him so he would be able to sleep a little longer.

You found his bathroom, and washed your face. In your backpack was a toothbrush and some toothpaste so you brushed your teeth, fixed your hair, and got dressed.

By the time you got out of the bathroom, you noticed Harry was still sleeping so you went into the kitchen and tried to find anything remotely close to breakfast foods. By the look of his inventory, you could tell he was very good at cooking but hadn’t been to the store in a while. He did have some eggs and toast though so you decided to make that.

In the middle of it, you got a phone call from Strange.

“Strange?”

“Harry Potter.” he says.

“What?” you were so confused as to how Stephen knew ANYTHING.

“You’re in his place, we've been tracking you.”

“So I guess we should probably have a talk about privacy? I don’t know, it just seems like something we should discuss you know? Cause usually people can respect that - especially people who just DUMP you here in the first place -“

“Calm down that’s what the mission was. While you were sleeping, we searched the place with a camera we put on you and he’s not who we thought he was. You completed the mission L/N. Great job.”

“Is he a danger?”

“Not necessarily. Just making sure your fine is all.”

“What -?”

He hung up.

Why wouldn’t Strange tell you his intentions? Why would he let you stay here if he thought Harry might have been a bad guy? Why would he risk that?

Right as you hung up Harry Potter walked into the kitchen with his lenses in between his shirt - he was cleaning his glasses.

His dark hair hung over his eyes but his eyebrows were raised.

“You made breakfast?”

“It was the least I could do. I didn’t mean to fall asleep but thank you for letting me stay.”

He smiled and put his glasses back on. In doing so his gray shirt lifted and you could see his abs. You turned away a blushed.

“It was no big deal. Thank you for making breakfast, love. You didn’t have to.”

You didn’t say anything and instead placed both of your finished plates on the dining room table. He followed you and sat down immediately digging in.

“These are the best eggs i’ve ever eaten Y/N thank you.”

You smiled in response but then frowned remembering your conversation with Strange. You should probably tell Harry.

“So,” you cleared your throat. “You were wrong.”

He gave you a look that meant “about?”

“Dr. Strange - the wizard I work with - he likes to check out potential threats and make sure that ya’know - the earth stays safe and everything. Je can kind of see the future and its propabilities. He did the same thing with Thor and his brother Loki.”

“Okay, go on.”

You cringed. “And so he called me and told me that he sent me here so he could see you? I don’t know I guess he saw you as a threat and wanted to make sure you weren’t.”

You looked at Harry but his face was clear of any and every emotion. He just continued to eat his eggs. It was silent.

You ate a bit at your eggs too until he spoke up which made you look up.

“I can’t say I’m very surprised honestly. With everything you guys manage to fuck up there I’d wanna know if someone else was about to create shit problems too.”

You sighed with relief. He wasn’t mad.

“I’m sorry really Harry, I didn’t even know.”

“No yeah it’s fine. I get it. I still think he sent you specifically for a reason though. There’s just no way we aren’t soul mates or something.”

“Oh shut up Potter.”

He smiled. “I’ve been thinking.”

“Gee your head must hurt.”

He squints at you jokingly. “You should let me take you out. I can show you around today. Y’know, so you can see what wizards are like.”

“Is this a date?”

His face flushes red and he looks down at his plate. “Yeah, yeah it’s a date.”

And a date it was.

“What the fuck is wrong with you Harry! Again?!” You practically screamed. Harry called it aparation but you call it hell. You let it go the first time but damn. He barely even warned you, just took your hand, held it tight, pulled you close, and waved his wand.

It was teleportation. Something you’ve never ever done before.

“Fucking hell Potter I’m going to murder you.”

“And Strange was worried about your safety? This is like your 4th time threatening to end my life and besides, it wasn’t even that bad.”

You rolled your eyes.

Throughout the day Harry showed you all sorts of things you’d never ever seen before. This consisted of every flavor jelly beans (and by every flavor they really meant every flavor), a chocolate frog, and never ending bubble gum. And that was just on the candy side.

He took you inside this joke shop ran by two of his friends from his old school he called hogwarts. They were twins that went by the names of Fred and George. The only twins you had ever met was Wanda and Pietro but telling the story of Pietro’s death seemed to sour Harry’s mood but excite the twins. The fact that he sacrificed himself for a little boy made him a hero in their eyes. They begged you to tell them more stories.

By the end of the day you went back to Harry’s place and you were exhausted. You can’t believe all that you’ve seen and eaten. How was this stuff even possible? How was it all hidden? You were amazed.

Harry was glad to see you had a good day and glad that he had met you. When you got back, he told you that you could stay another night...and perhaps in the bed instead of the couch. He hadn’t meant it in a dirty way but that didn’t stop you from laughing until tears came out of your eyes. He was so awkward at times. Once he had to ask if it was okay to take your hand while you were in the street and it was so cute how he couldn’t really find the words even for something as simple as hand holding.

“Harry?”

“Hm?”

You both were laying in his bed facing the other.

“I had a lot of fun today. I feel like i’ve known you forever.”

He grinned from ear to ear and was glad that you couldn’t see him. He would have been beyond embarrassed if you’d seen how unmistakably happy that made him.

“I had fun with you Y/N. You’re great company.”

You were silent for a moment.

And another.

“Harry?”

“Yes?”

“Can I kiss you?”

You were scared of his response and your heart was practically beating out of your chest. What if he was just being friendly? What if he just wanted to be friends? You would have made a huge fool of yourself. You were going to turn away embarrassed until his hand came up to your face and slipped onto your cheek. He was so warm. His lips pressed against yours for a moment and then he pulled away.

After a moment he reconnected and moved his lips against yours slowly. Your hand went to the back of his neck and toyed with his hair. He groaned into your mouth. You smiled and scooted even closer to him. All you could hear was the sound of your breathing and kissing. You didn’t want to pull away but you had to.

“Harry.” you said practically breathless.

“Yeah.” he was breathless too.

“I want to show you my world. You should come see New York.”

“Yeah? You wanna show me those alien invasions and robot attacks?”

You laughed and snuggled into Harry. He wrapped his arm around you and kissed your neck.

“Mhmm.”

“I’d love to see it.”

Tags:

@romance-geek @gooseyhouse

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rainydayhogwartsimagines · 4 years ago

Note

Hey there! Could I please get a fred Weasley x reader where the reader is a Slytherin, but befriends everyone all the same, maybe with the trope of her being best friends w the twins and everyone trying to set her and Fred up bc there's so much tension? But they're terribly oblivious? I absolutely love this trope lmaoo. Thank you and have a wonderful day!✨❤️

This is cute-- How in the world do you guys come up with this adorable stuff omfg.

Warnings: Abuse, swearing, panic attacks, slight NSFW conversations, set in a non voldy world.

You were a strange one. A Slytherin with a Hufflepuff personality. Honestly anyone that knew you questioned if for once the sorting hat was wrong for the first time. You had friends EVERYWHERE. Fred and George had heard of you, people saying even Filch could find you enjoyable to be around. Once they heard that, oh boy, they had to meet you. Fred and George finally did by the lake one day. Fred was talking to George, noticing a few cracks from limbs in the tree they were standing under here and there. Finally they had an answer as to what was making it do that when they heard “OH SHIT” followed by “INCOMING!” followed by you falling right into Fred’s arms. “My bad, I was trying to get a bird back in its nest.” You apologized, hopping down the the ground. Fred blinked a couple of times, looking at the tree and then you. “Uh... twig.” George said, pointing to his head to indicate you had a twig in your hair. “Hmm? Oh! thank you!” You realized. “Did... You just fall out of a tree?” Fred asked. “You’d be surprised on how much that happens. Oh are you those twins I’ve been hearing about?” You asked. “Probably. I’m Fred--” “That’s George, yep I know.” You nodded. “...Who are you?” George asked. “Oh-- I’m Y/n!” You said. “Ohhhhh. See this is beginning to make sense now.” George nodded. Fred was just... Staring at you. It wasn’t a perplexed face of “What the fuck just happened”. It was more: “This girl is.. Pretty?”

The twins started having more interactions with you. But there was the day you three became friends that neither of the boys will forget. Fred and George were sitting in the library. Reading? No. Napping? Yes. Well, until you slid into a seat. “Y/n?” Fred yawned. “Act. natural.” You said with this wild eyed look making George raise a brow. Then Draco ran in... With green hair. Fred was now awake and you were hiding your face in a book. “Have you seen Y/n!?” Draco growled. “No... But I see you decided to wear your Slytherin pride today.” George snorted. “You.” Draco growled. Then he noticed you laughing. He pulled down the book. “YOU!” He shouted. “Shit!” You gasped before Fred slid a chair in front of Draco, George bolting with you. You all hid in the one place Draco would never be caught dead in. The Gryffindor common room. You collapsed out of breath on the couch laughing with the boys. “What in the world made you do that?” George wheezed. “He decided to be a dick to my friend this morning. I got revenge. Tomorrow I’m thinking blue. He’s been giving Ravenclaw trouble lately.” You laughed making Fred snort. “Your idea is amazing, might I suggest we rig an exploding ink pen?” George said. “With silver ink, because red just seems to clash with that boy’s eyes.” You said making the boys laugh harder. “Oh I think we’re going to enjoy having you around, won’t we Freddie boy?” George asked. “Indeed Georgie. Indeed.” Fred chuckled.

So the mischievous three were introduced to the world. You had this policy though: Only prank the assholes. So that automatically meant a lot of kids from Slytherin. With each prank you got closer to the boys. Specifically Fred. Something about him just drew you in, like a moth to a flame. George wasn’t stupid either, he could see the looks you two would give each other. When you all entered your fourth year, you had started helping out with their little underground business. You spent the first two weeks of summer that year at home but actually ended up staying with the Weasleys’. You seemed... A little off though. Fred and George both noticed you begin to space out at times, giving off almost this sad look. Whenever they’d talk to you though, you looked at them like you normally would. Something was wrong. They could feel it. It wasn’t until they met your father at the station they realized what was going on. He seemed to snap at you a lot, making you go completely silent. To anyone that didn’t know you this was a normal response. To the boys though, you always had something to say. If you were quiet, this was because you were afraid. Not disciplined. You sat on the train in complete silence. Neither of the boys were sure if they should ask you about your dad. You focused on the rain drops on the window. “I’ve always liked the rain. What about you guys?” You finally asked. “Makes me tired as shit.” George said making you crack a smile. “Heard one of Harry’s uncles is teaching this year.” Fred said. “I think I remembered him mentioning that. The Remus guy?” You asked. “He’s standing in while Quirrell is away.” George nodded. “As long as it isn’t like last year’s substitute.” You groaned. “Fucking Gilderoy.” All of you said in unison making each other laugh. “I swear a simple breeze makes Quirrell catch something.” George sighed. “He does end up getting sick a lot. Remember when he got chicken pox?” You asked. “You would’ve thought the bastard was dying.” Fred nodded. ”He has the immune system of an infant, I swear.” you laughed.

You all sat around in the Great Hall, you catching a glimpse of who the new substitute professor was. He had a scar on his face and it reminded you of something. You just couldn’t figure out what. Eventually though, you came to like the way Remus taught. He had a sense of humor. Not that Quirrell didn’t it was just very awkward when he did finally crack a damn joke. Remus rose a brow when he saw your first and last name on the roll call. “Miss Y/n, is your mother perhaps Persephone L/n?” Remus asked. Fred rose a brow. “She was sir.” you said, making George look up. “Was?” Remus asked. “She passed on when I was eight sir. Why, did you know her?” you asked, earning a couple of students to glance at your response. “I did. Very kind woman. Who did she marry?” Remus asked. “Cassian Lestrange sir.” You responded, making everyone now halt. “...I see.” Remus nodded. “Something wrong?” You asked. “No offense.. I truly mean none. But I genuinely cannot see Cassian as a father.” Remus admitted. You nodded looking down. “He’s... An interesting man.” You muttered, your look distant and pained. Remus noticed, but changed the subject. Fred looked back at his desk. He had no idea about any of this, much less a distant relation to Draco. Judging by your reaction to the questions though, Fred decided it was best to leave it be. You enjoyed Remus’ class, him noticing a few similarities to your mother as you interacted with other students. You always had a smile on your face when you spoke to others. But the one thing he always noticed was the looks that you and Fred would share. George usually paired up with a girl but Fred ALWAYS paired up with you. You two worked well together. It almost reminded him of two other people he knew... Today though, wasn’t the best of days. It was time to practice Boggarts. You already knew what yours was, but you weren’t ready to exactly displayed to the class. You however walked forward and did it anyways, holding your breath as the Boggart began to shift. Finally it did.

Into your father. You opened your mouth to say a spell but nothing came out, your hands shaking as it inched forward. Fred looked at you and then the boggart, quickly pulling you back with one arm and shouting “riddikulus”. You couldn’t still your breathing and it only seemed to be getting worse. “Y/n? Look at me.” Fred said, ignoring the students watching you. Remus locked the closet and you hyperventilated. “Class dismissed.” Remus said, shuffling the other students out. “I-I can’t-- b-breathe.” you whimpered. George ran over and you gripped your head. “Y/n. I’m right here Love, follow my breathing.” Fred said softly. You followed his movements. “What’s your favorite book?” George asked making Remus raise a brow. “S-sense and Sensibility.” You answered, still regulating your breathing. “Personally I’m more of a short story man, what about you Freddie?” George asked. “Not big on reading. More of a napping fellow.” Fred answered. You let out a small laugh and straightened your posture. “What’s your favorite class?” Fred asked. “P-probably this one.. with the exception of t-today.” you answered. Remus reached into his drawer and handed you chocolate and a bottled water. “Thank you professor.” You muttered. You sat down and sighed. “Y/n... I hate to ask this, truly I do. But is there anything going on at home?” Remus asked. You didn’t say anything. “I... Don’t want to answer that question.” You finally said. Fred frowned and George exchanged a look. “Boys, do you mind leaving us for a few moments?” Remus asked. Fred kneeled to you, looking at your face. “I’ll be outside if you need me. Okay?” He asked. You nodded and he got up, leaving with George.

The door closed and Fred let out a long sigh. “I am going to kill her father, want to help?” Fred said. “Hand me a shovel.” George said simply. “Why didn’t she say anything?” Fred asked. “She doesn’t even want to talk to Lupin Fred. You saw her face, she most likely didn’t want to remember.” George said. Fred looked at the door and sighed. “We can’t let her go home George. Not this summer.” Fred said. “I’m with you.” George agreed. The two boys became a bit more protective over you. But they found it so strange that you still kept the happy go lucky personality despite going through all of this. Then Fred found you one night in the astronomy tower with a blanket. You were propped up against one of the stone arch’s and looking at the night sky. “Y/n?” Fred asked. You looked over at him. “Hey Fred.” You said with that smile. He sat across from you. “What brings you up here?” Fred asked. “Insomnia. And cookies.” You said. “Cookies?” Fred asked. You scooched closer to him, pushing a tin of cookies to him. He took one and you sighed looking at the stars. “Can I ask you something?” He said. “Sure.” You nodded. “What keeps that smile on your face all the time?” He asked. You let out a long breath, thinking over a detailed answer. “Lots of reasons. I have two kickass best friends that will fight for me no matter what, I have really cool teachers, I have friends who are like family.” you answered. “But... I keep that smile because some times someone just needs to see the good in the world. I won’t lie to you. My life is much darker than I think you accounted for. But if my smile provides someone else some light then damn it I’ll keep this up.” You said. Fred looked at you surprised. “Y/n...” He muttered. You looked at Fred and he said nothing, pulling you into his arms. You slowly hugged him back and he sighed. “I swear if anyone tries anything with you again, I will personally send them to their grave.” Fred said making you laugh. “I’m serious!” Fred said, not being able to keep a straight face seeing your smile. “Shut up and take a cookie.” You laughed.

You two were found passed out the next morning my Luna. You were in Fred’s arms and he was holding you close. You two never brought it up, despite the fact that both of you were blushing like crazy when you woke up. It was now CRYSTAL fucking clear how Fred felt about you to George after witnessing a snowball fight between you two that resulted in Fred tickling your sides and making you laugh during a Hogsmeade trip. You smiled in his arms, faces inches apart. If Fred and George’s jackass brother hadn’t gotten into a fight with Draco, George was 95% sure you two would’ve kissed.

You seemed distracted by something else though, and that was your professor. The scar on his face- why did it look familiar? And why was Remus going to Snape for a secret potion? You noticed that he was pretty secretive about his personal life and Harry never answered the question of where the mark came from. You took what you like to call “The Granger Approach.” Which was basically reading until you had a reliable answer. Fred sat with you the entire time, napping or talking to George while you read. Both boys were passed out by the time you found an answer. “Oh... Shit.” you realized, making Fred open an eye. “Find what you’re looking for?” George yawned. “...Yeah and I think Remus is going to be absent tomorrow.” You said looking at the full moon through the large glass windows. “Why’s that?” Fred asked. “He’s a werewolf.” You said in a whisper. Both boys looked at you with a “You can’t be serious” expression. “What makes you say that?” Fred asked. “Ron said something. Harry’s class saw his boggart. It was the moon.” You said. George blinked. “If our little brother is your proof that’s not exactly reliable.” George said. “How do you explain the potions he gets from Snape, or the scar on his face, or the fact that he was leaving campus this afternoon?” You asked. “He was?” Fred asked. “He was sneaking around but I noticed him.” You shrugged. “Alright. Say he doesn’t show up tomorrow. Who fills in for a substitute?” George asked. “Probably Snape.” you grumbled. “You’re a Slytherin and you don’t like Snape? My God you really are a strange one.” Fred teased making you smile. George rolled his eyes. “Do we ask him about this?” George asked. “No. We leave this alone unless Remus needs help.” you said. “How in the hell were you not sorted into Hufflepuff? Like honestly?” Fred asked. “I have no idea. Luna says its never wrong though.” You shrugged.

Sure enough, Remus didn’t show up and Snape took over class that day. Fred, George and you all exchanged knowing glances but overall didn’t say anything. The school year finally came to a close and you were honestly sad to see Remus go. The crazy thing was: That day when you explained your boggart to Remus, he told you that his door was open to you if you needed to leave home. You declined but Fred was hellbent on you staying with them for the summer. He hated the idea of you being potentially in harm’s way. This offer you accepted. You showed up, bags in hand with that same beautiful smile. Molly was of course excited to see you and you were happy to be there. The Burrow honestly felt like home. You and Fred had so many moments though that made the whole family go “Dude. Kiss already. PLEASE.” Specifically when you saw a spider and screamed, practically climbing up Fred while he killed the damn thing. “You managed to go into the forbidden forest alone and came back unscathed but a small spider scares you?” Fred asked, your legs having a death grip around his torso. “THEY ARE FUCKING CREEPY FRED!” You whined. “It’s smaller than you!” He laughed, holding you up. “SO IS A GRENADE!” you whined. You hopped down and eyed the dead spider. “Afraid it’ll crawl--” “FRED IT HAD BABIES!” You screamed, climbing right back up him, more directed to his face. “Oh for Christ’s sake--” He said, enchanting a broom to sweep them out. “You’re a Slytherin. All of you have creepy creatures for pets and you are terrified of..” “Fred faced you as you were linked to his side, inches away from him. You looked in his eyes, almost as if you were looking for something, swallowing hard. “What the hell happened here?” Ron asked, seeing the two of you. “I saw a spider.” “OH GOD WHERE--”

George was tired of this tension. Yes, it was cute to see his brother head over heels. But my GOD WERE YOU FUCKING DENSE. BOTH OF YOU. How could you two have so many OBVIOUS moments that would make people who barely knew you go “Oh so they like each other” But you two still be clueless to the other’s intentions. You two also talked endlessly to George and Ginny. Both of them would sit there listening wanting to say something, but kept their oaths of silence. This year things were bound to change though. You see: this year was a Triwizard tournament. Other schools were coming to this shindig. And a boy from Durmstrang seemed awfully fixated on you. You were friendly, inviting him to sit and Fred would just be internally screaming the whole time watching you. The Durmstrang boy would do things that literally made Fred’s eye fucking twitch: playing with your hair, complimenting your smile, constantly looking at you. You were oblivious to this being flirty though, unaware of the boy’s crush on you. Finally one day Fred had to talk to you about it. He could not stand watching this little fucker with you. “You should talk to her Fred. Tell her how you feel.” George said. “And if she doesn’t feel the same way?” Fred asked. George practically slammed his head down onto the table in frustration, releasing a long groan. “JUST. ASK. HER.” George whined, making Fred jump. “Good God man, what’s gotten into you!?” Fred asked. “NOTHING FRED. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.” George groaned, getting up and making Ginny nearly die of silent laughter.

You were in the library, grabbing a few books for a herbology project when Fred popped up, scaring the shit out of you. “Christ! Say something when you’re behind me!” You breathed. “Sorry! Sorry.” Fred apologized. “What do you need?” You asked curiously. “What’s going on with you and that Durmstrang kid?” Fred asked. “What do you mean?” you asked, moving down the aisle, looking for a specific book. “Do you like him?” Fred asked. “He’s cool.” You shrugged. “Not like that Y/n.” Fred huffed. “Like what?” You asked. “Romantically. Do you like him romantically?” Fred asked. “Wha-- no!” You gagged. Fred felt a wave of relief wash over him. “Why did you want to know?” You asked. “It’s just... He acts like he likes you. That’s all.” Fred said. You stopped and turned around, a questioning squint on your face. “Would it have bothered you if I did?” You asked. “Yes.” Fred answered, no hesitation in his words. “Why?” you asked. Fuck. Fred did not think this through. “It just would’ve.” Fred said. “Again, why would this have bothered you?” You asked. “No particular reason!” He lied. “Answer the god damn question before I ask out Luka out of spite!” You snapped. “You do that and I ask Angela out!” He said back. You glared. “Oh that bothers you!?” Fred noticed the expression. “Yes it bothers me!” You said. “Why!?” Fred asked. “I asked you first, you dolt!” You said. Both of you were quickly becoming aggravated, glaring at each other. Fred couldn’t take it anymore and slammed his lips onto yours, resulting in you dropping the book in your hands and cupping his cheeks. You two eventually pulled away for this stupid thing called air and you let out a small laugh. “Well shit Fred, if you would’ve just started with that I wouldn’t have had to ask.” You laughed. He smiled, his hands around your waist. “You’re lucky we’re in public or else I would’ve done a lot more than that Princess.” Fred said in your ear. You looked at him with a smirk “If I knew making you jealous would make you act like this, my God I would’ve made friends with this kid ages ago.” You laughed. “Oh bite your tongue.” He chuckled. “Hmm, I’m thinking I leave that to you.” you teased. He shook his head, kissing you again.

George caught you two and he actually screamed “HALLEFUCKINGLUJAH” at the top of his lungs, making both of you jump. You three ended up in detention (you and Fred were in trouble for the book mess), George telling you two how the past few months were absolute hell. “I have been watching you two jackasses, trying to get you to DATE since LAST JANUARY. IT’S OCTOBER.” George complained. “It wasn’t that bad!” You laughed. “Not that bad-- NOT THAT BAD!? FRED TALKS MY GOD DAMN EAR OFF ABOUT YOU AT NIGHT-- I DON’T SLEEP” George whined. “Has he now?” You asked, smirking at Fred who was smiling. “You’re always on the bastard’s mind! And I have to listen to Ginny complain to me with the same issue-- ‘Y/n was talking about Fred again to Hermione. Something about if given the chance she’d definitely shag him’.” George quoted making you choke on air and cough as Fred looked at you with an amused smirk. “Would you now?” Fred asked. You rolled your eyes “What was it you said to me a few hours ago-- ‘You’re lucky we’re in public or else--’” “I remember what I said Darling, I just wanted to know where your mind was.” Fred teased. “Oh you know exactly what I’m thinking you little shit.” You griped making him snort. “Oh God Mcgonagall better come back soon, I’m locked in a room with two randy jackasses.” George prayed aloud. “Relax we’re not going to shag.” Fred said. “Thank god.” George sighed. “That’s not until three.” Fred yawned making you snort and George slammed his head on his desk. “DRINK HOLY WATER YOU UNGODLY SINNERS”

#fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x you #fred weasley

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henlex · 4 years ago

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Onlyoneof astrology

Wooksung

☆check the bottom for summary☆

Sun

Jisung is Cap: Earth. Very grounded. Goal oriented. They get things done, hard workers. They love to be useful and have purpose. Tend to keep their emotions under wraps because they want to be level headed. Very steady, reliable, responsible. Honestly a great leader. Can be a bit standoffish all the members saying he was intimidating when they first met. They can be very funny. They dont really like change, they tend to stick for what they know. Good at giving practical advice.

Wookjin is Sag:🔥 So different 😂. Restless, fun, energetic, friendly. They love freedom, and hate routine. Very easygoing, love to make friends with anyone, fun loving. They love to laugh and tease😂. Infectious optimism, very idealistic, and loves to learn. Easygoing, but can have a quick temper, tho they forgive very quickly. Can be a little flighty because of their need for freedom.

Moon

Jisung is Pisces: so cute. This is strong mom energy (yoojung has the same) Very soft, sweet, compassionate, empathetic, caring. What a softy. Good an seeing beyond people's barriers.

Wookjin is Aquarius: extremely observant (I remember on love unlock that expert said Nine was very good at noticing things, and took) everything in. Omg they can feel detached or shy especially as a kid. They tend to feel like a bit of an outsider. They have strong walls up. They love being unique and unusual but they end up feeling like an outsider. They love being independent, and also love to shock people💆‍♀️💆‍♀️. Given to temper tantrums in their youth but tend to hide them later in life. They can become detached from their emotions but are good at understanding others. (Idk if this is him because he cried while making libido sooo) they can be very unpredictable but charming.

Mercury

Jisung Aquarius: unconventional self expression, they like to break the rules 💆‍♀️these two I swear to God. Very observant, they love debate. Aquarius are detached and intellectual in nature. Don't like scheduled....I'm pretty that's cancelled out by the cap tho😂 They can be seen as strange but always have something interesting to say. Good sense of humor.....and like to shock people💆‍♀️💆‍♀️

Wookjin Sag: optimistic, like freedom of thought, have big ideas. Insatiable thirst for knowledge. Dont like focusing on details. Organization is not their friend (it's ok jisung can take care of that) Very enthusiastic and love a good conversation. They can be very blunt and dont understand being indirect. They Hate mind games. They love to laugh, and do it pretty easily 💕

Venus

Jisung Cap: try to win your heart by displaying self-control, presence of mind, and responsible behavior. They want to be seen as witty, knowledgeable and controlled. They want some predictability in love because they are cautious. They have a loner aura, which some can find attractive. They're big romantics and can be shy about love but dont want anyone to know. They are very practical and plan ahead. They want to show off their partner in a quiet way. They take a while to warm up to others. Fear of rejection☹. They are practical and loyal to those they love. They are frugal but like high quality items.

Nine Scorpio☠: RIP everyone. First off this is why he has that stage presence and is......bold. Anyway they're very intense, their emotions run deep. Deep commitment, they're incredibly loyal, when they're in, they're in forever. Fearless when it comes to intimacy 👀. They become possessive and can get jealous. They become entirely focused/infatuated in their partner. They are not about casual flings. "These people take things to extremes, and can be very provocative." 💆‍♀️ Angry nine would be very scary. They like to know EVERYTHING about their partner but keep their own things hidden, they're secretive in nature. To win them over they need to see that you're committed completely. Their relationships tend to consume them and they love it.

Mars

Jisung cap: cool and level headed. Strong self control. Can be hard on themselves. Hard worker. They like discretion. They are attracted to someone experienced😉

Wookjin Aqua: unpredictable, they dont want to be seen as normal. Love of intellectual pursuits. They are adept at getting their way. You wont even know if they're in control. They let other people be themselves and gives them space. Generally not touchy...LOL.

"They give off an air of being savvy and cool. Sex from a distance (when you are not actually there physically), or in theory, is often where they shineThey are most intrigued when you are not, as detachment can be a real turn-on for them. And, again, the idea of sex is generally more exciting to these lovers than the actual act. Their fantasies often involve getting caught, and they are attracted to people who are a little offbeat or odd." This makes a lot of sense

☆Summary☆

Sun: so they are very different but I think it's so cute. Nine's playful nature can help love take life less seriously. And love can keep nines feet the ground and take care of the day to days of life.

Moon: deep down wookjin is very protective and feels misunderstood but jisungs cancer moon could be the perfect match for him to actually open up and be understood. If they open up they could become incredibly close. Loves nonjudgemental and compassionate demeanor could help nine to not feel unknown for once.😭💕 Love can also help him not deny his emotions.

Mercury: yk I never thought they'd be the ones to have intellectual debates but they definitely do. But like it could be about anything, even something dumb but it would bg e a Debate and they'd both love it. Idk why that's so cute. Wookjin likes being direct and honestly jisungs cap would love that about him. Also I get why they're always laughing together 😭💕

Venus: Haha soulmate culture. Ok but love needs commitment and so does nine. They both want and need that deep understanding. They could both let their guards down because neither of them wants to go anyway. Nine would highkey like the challenge of love being hesitant and the loner vibes.

Mars: eye. Yk it might work really well cuz caps are lowkey detached and nine highkey would thrive on that. I need to lay down

So Haha I love them. This dynamic is insane. The sexual tension is off the charts and I see why now. This is a lot but think they mesh really well.

Okay byyyyye

💖I'll take any requests 💖

Junrie are next

#onlyoneof #wooksung #ships #nine #love #wookjin #jisung #kpop #kpop astrology #astrology

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elizabethrobertajones · 4 years ago

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Did Bobo really create the Wayward Sisters? If so, why weren't Jack and especially Cas included in that episode? That's my biggest issue with that pilot honestly, I mean, the fact that the show abandoned Claire and Cas' bond after season 10 and gave that storyline to Salmondean. Her bond with Cas is more interesting because of their connection to the Novaks. I also think that Claire and Jack would've made a more engaging dynamic and spin off together, I think they're strong characters & actors

Hi there!

Bobo isn’t the “creator” of Wayward so much as it can even have one, as it was a very organic idea, which even involved a healthy amount of fandom input. The original campaign in season 10 was for Wayward Daughters, and the idea picked up so much steam the altered title for, I guess, a mix of copyright and thematic relevance was the Sisters one. I’d say 10x08 was the real genesis of it as something that could be really solid. Once Kim and Briana were put together the chemistry and star power they could have had together was really meteoric as far as our small SPN world was concerned. Phil Sgriccia directed 9x13 and wrote 10x08 and was more of the parent of Wayward than any specific writer in that sense. Jody and Claire were pretty much common property of the show by that point. Claire was really introduced again in relation to plotlines and questions about Cas and less to do with them really going out of their way to re-launch her. I think they’d have been much cornier about it from the start and while YA protagonist diary writing her way through the end of Wayward Sisters was cute, it’s the sort of cutesy that really has to be earned. If she STARTED that way, like maybe me and 3 friends would be stanning her and everyone else would be revolted :P

(I am a YA fantasy novel author, but I do think everyone should make room in their hearts for this level of cheese)

In any case, Bobo just threw his hat into an already crowded ring with Alex, but obviously loving the characters and having his own personal wayward child to contribute did help elevate him to the prospective showrunner seat, but also all the other writers who’d written these characters except Dabb had left at that point. If Bobo was going to shepherd them through to their new show, he’d be the legacy writer, even though he was a new baby writer in the season Donna was introduced... Attrition aside, he did genuinely write them very well, loved their stories and was great with writing Jody when he could get her, so he would also have been a good choice even if all the others were left still...

But anyway. Season 10′s subplot for Cas was about Claire and learning some stuff about himself along the way, but she was used very much for his personal development and for Dean as well, being a mini Dean herself in a season where he had lost a lot of his sense of self. It’s a total accident of scheduling but Angel Heart (10x20) being the last episode before 10x22 is a nice touch in that regard. And while Cas tried really hard with Claire and awoke his inner Dad side so that he’d be more prepared for fatherhood next time, it was pretty insurmountable between them to have anything more than a bittersweet relationship where the best he could do was make up with her and see her somewhere safe. The fact of him looking like her actual dead father is horrendous the more you think about it and while she managed to see him for who he was instead of a horrible monster, that’s more than enough trauma to inflict on an already traumatised girl for the sake of helping Cas’s manpain and tidying up the sticky question of Jimmy and Cas’s right to the vessel.

Angel Heart very specifically ends with TFW mailing Claire to Jody because they know she’s already good with Alex in a genuine way and can handle these sort of issues and has done it before. And also because she can be a guardian who will not constantly remind Claire that her father is dead but something is walking around wearing a perfect reconstruction of his face. Carver era did a few things here and there with bodily autonomy and the problem of angel and demon vessels, but it was also really hit and miss. They’d get random waves of feeling guilty about it but then by necessity go back to stabbing angels in their still-living vessels an episode later. Claire was a way to address at the very least that whatever Cas was being put through was only a punishment on Cas and not on Jimmy as well, which is probably why we got such sappy Heaven scenes. We NEEDED to be shown he was in Heaven and largely okay with what was going on so that the show could justify using Cas at all as a character without breaking the code of ethics they tried to make their own characters adhere to. Aside from that it also gave Cas a side plot for when he wasn’t needed in the main plot, and any emotional connection to anything that wasn’t Sam and Dean.

Anyway 10x20 caused this huge fandom high which was followed by one of the lowest lows of the fandom immediately after, and both centred on female characters (in fact, now we know, 2 lesbians even! Though I’d wonder if, The Gay Agenda aside, Bobo spite-wrote that specifically because of the roots of Wayward) and I think that galvanised the whole movement of fans and hopefully some self-reflection in the show. They DID start making an effort in season 11, which shows some of the early signs of better inclusion but also backtracking or edging nervously away from the more intense Carver era stuff. Not just because Dean didn’t have the Mark any more but in general it was like someone had opened a window and let in some fresh air... Even before Carver bailed somewhere around the midseason to go do a different show and Dabb started to step up.

All this to say that the Wayward stuff was always about the female characters and making up for the past sins of the show. It’s even a riff on the “wayward son” line which obviously centres around male protagonists and their journey. Claire stumbled into being a part of it in the lucky way of being in the right place and time, but the journey had already started even in the season 10 momentum with earlier work and it was that which suddenly made the prospect that Jody had two young women living with her now seem like a starter for the next generation of the show as it was a mirrored format to season 1 in a way, if you took Alex and Claire as the new Sam and Dean. It was exciting but people flipped out after Angel Heart because stuff had been bubbling since season 9 and earlier in season 10, so this was just pouring more candy into an already visibly full bowl of potential tasty gems. It made a possibility seem real that hadn’t before because we already had Kim bitterly complaining that the CW refused to hear the case for a Jody spin off because she was too old. The next best thing was a Jody spin off where she was the Gandalf to some CW age appropriate characters.

(the CW is and always has been garbage)

Anyway in season 13 Jack was introduced as a Claire 2.0 but as a male character with staying power for that reason, but he was filling the space she left for Cas. He couldn’t be a father to her and neither really wanted that set up anyway. But thematically it had created the possibility of Dadstiel and the space he had in his heart for that. Since the show was in its waning years they would be looking for endgame and handing Cas an easy win with a son he could unconditionally love who would love him back unconditionally absolutely filled that gap. It was a non SamnDean thing that Cas could have for himself outside of whatever happened with them. Not sure the memo came back that he was supposed to have mORE than that but oh well it’s not real if you don’t watch it :))) But yeah Jack was always going to be linked to Cas’s endgame, he wasn’t a free-floating character such as Jody who could go where she wanted and do as she pleased. He was main story relevant from start to finish and tied inexorably to another main character’s fate. Because the show wouldn’t do that with its female characters they could be bundled into spin offs but in practical terms Jack was both never what the Wayward as envisioned by fans or writers was about, nor would he have been free to go.

Since it would have been about centering the stories of people overlooked by the main story, Claire a case in point that she had her life ruined in season 4 and it was a footnote until season ten, and then metaphorically more the concept of having queer and non-white characters in the mix of main characters, it would have represented a future of the story where the main show was unable to tread. Probably because of the CW. Also inherent biases in the writers. Bad cocktail. Jack is both too white and too male to fit the brief to ever leave SPN, and not only that but he is so as a precise mirror to the main white male characters, being passably any one of their sons if you squint, and meant to be instantly instinctively read as such... he was one of the safest bets of representing the show as the network wanted to imagine its target demographic.

So I really don’t think that Jack has any place being in a spin off of the show unless you want more of the same. They tried to give us something different and the CW didn’t like it because it wasn’t more of the same. Ironically a Jack spin off, with or without Claire, would have more chance of being greenlit and more chance of success. But the spin off they put their heart behind was Wayward Sisters as it was. And I think it was absolutely correct that never mind leaving Jack out of it after his work was done in the lead up episode to help set the table, but honestly they could have cut all the middle scenes of Sam and Dean wandering in the woods and gained precious seconds with the girls and still had a functioning story with those guys. It was like some cowardly missive was sent that the show couldn’t actually go more than 10 minutes without showing a flesh and blood Winchester or the whole thing would spontaneously sizzle out of syndication and the money tree would wither on the spot. And in the mean time, we could have been having Banter with the girls. Or Claire and Kaia holding hands some more. The good stuff :P

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dannobfg · 4 years ago

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I need something to do. I've lost my passions. Apathy towards everything. Lately, I'll put my earphones in, turn the music up, and just scroll for hours, all the while feeling shitty inside. I lost myself, somewhere, somehow. And I don't know how to get back.

This past week I tried to do some sport. And I did. On Wednesday I did some exercise following an app, and on Thursday I went for a run first thing in the morning. And it felt great. I somehow had energy afterwards. But still nothing to do really. So it was wasted. And of course, the next day the muscle aches hit and you regret ever going out in the first place.

I'm always hungry because I'm bored. And I go to the kitchen and think, I want to eat, but I also want to loose the quarantine weight so I tell myself I shouldn't. But after the third visit to the kitchen, I give in. And then I feel bad about it. Plus this summer heat is killing me. So done with it tbh. But still a good two months more of it, basically. No seaside or pool, I might add.

I'm just finding it very hard to not be negative. But that seems to be my personality. A pessimist about everything and anything. Except maybe when I'm trying to cheer someone else up, or in those brief moments of positive thinking that last a few hours and then get crushed...

A mutual asked me on here recently what I meant by "mental mess" in my header. Well, friend, this is what I mean.

Add to the mix my current life stage and you have the cherry on the top. I failed to finish university this term, which means I have to pay more money to get those 6 credits I'm lacking in order to graduate. The actual graduation ceremony has been cancelled in the end because of coronavirus. I'm currently living at my parents house, which is never easy. And it's so stressful. It's never easy to move back home once you've become accustomed to your own way of doing things. There's also just so much tension in this house. It's exhausting.

Also, I'm stressed because I hardly have any savings left, and I hate the idea of having to rely on my parents if I want to move out. I'm trying to get a TEFL qualification so I can teach English and hopefully get a job that allows me to live and work away from here. And that in itself says a lot. Because I'd always said teaching English would be the last thing I'd ever do. But I guess I've basically found myself with no other viable option right now. And who knows, maybe it won't be so bad. Idk. But anyway, I need to finish it before I can start sending CVs out. Besides, I have no place to go back to. I left my apartment when I moved back here. And the flatmates I had are also gone. So it's basically starting from zero. I'm just so sad that my university days are practically over and the real world sucks balls. Why does growing up have to be like this? Can we fast forward to when I have my life together and feel content with my surrounding circumstances? I'm not even asking to be fully happy. Just enough to be okay. Contentment is the only way to get through this hell. Happiness is an illusion. We can experience happy moments, but it's not possible to live 100% happy every second of everyday. Not in this world. At least, that's how I see it right now...

I'm both dreading and looking forward to a wedding I have in a few weeks. One of my best friends from uni is getting married to her longtime boyfriend. A super cute couple. I'm so jealous of her. She seems to have her life all figured out. Her boyfriend has a good job in Germany, and after the wedding they're both moving over there. She has a job waiting for her too. And they already have a cute little apartment. Give it a few years and they'll have their beautiful children, etc, etc.

The wedding is both a celebration, but also a goodbye. And not just of the happy couple. I know most of the other invitees. They're also good friends of mine. And this wedding is probably the last time I'm gonna see any of them for a long time. And that makes me so sad. But at the same time, I'm so excited to get out of here and celebrate with my friends for a few hours. For a few hours I can forget my worries and just live again. Plus, I plan on downloading some of this mental shit to them. Long overdue. It'll be interesting to hear their perspectives. And to be honest, I just want someone to empathize with how I feel. My parents don't get it. Neither does my brother. And that just adds to the whole mess.

On another note, I'm also kinda low-key worried about Covid-19 at the wedding. My friend has told me they're doing their very best to ensure the recommended distances are kept between people, chairs and tables at all time. Masks will be compulsory and there will be hand sanitizer everywhere. So it should be fine. But still, it does make me a little nervous to go out and be around so many people.

Anyway, enough ramblings for one day. Thanks for reading, if you made it all the way...

#me #mental mess #stress #wedding #future #Covid-19 #anxiety #apathy #bored #I wish I had a magic mirror to look at where I'll be in 5 years #happiness #contentment #writing #ramblings #selfie #stream of consciousness #also this photo is from before I moved out of my apartment. I think I was still in quarantine and living alone.#don't panic

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

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Amelia & Jac

Amelia: you're okay now, right? Amelia: me too Jac: Are you? Amelia: I don't know Amelia: maybe Jac: How's the party? Amelia: it needs you Jac: Looks like you found enough people to party with though Amelia: I don't do dark corners by myself, you know Jac: yeah Amelia: I can't anyway, what Is said came true Amelia: all the lads are 😍 Jac: you didn't wear your theatre dress Amelia: no Amelia: it's going back, I kept the tags on Jac: smart Jac: what did you think, of the performance Amelia: it wasn't that bad Jac: and your mum Amelia: she's never that bad Jac: I know Jac: I meant did she like it Amelia: 😂 oh Amelia: yeah Jac: who brought all the booze? Jac: must be loads, can't just be Erin Amelia: her boyfriend I think Amelia: or maybe her brother Amelia: I don't remember Jac: they don't look that different tbh Jac: even if you weren't in a state Amelia: I've just got my 🤞 they are related after how hard he was 🤤 at me Jac: what about Is and Josh? Amelia: 😣 they're all over each other Jac: Hm Jac: dunno what way is better Jac: the play-by-play we'll get, or the lament if she hadn't Amelia: 💔 over 🥰 Amelia: I have every possible boys suck line ready in my back pocket Jac: shouldn't we be happy for each other Amelia: for what? Jac: for her getting what she wanted Jac: if nothing else, it's that Amelia: he only wants her because she dressed and acted different so no Jac: maybe she wants to be different too Amelia: you would say that Jac: why would I Amelia: because you want to be Savannah Moore Amelia: it doesn't get any differerent-er Jac: One, no I don't Jac: and two, we've got lots in common so it wouldn't be that big of a change beyond the obvious Amelia: yeah you do and yeah it would Jac: just because I like her doesn't mean I'm trying to be her Jac: why do you think that Amelia: you talk like her now Amelia: act like her Amelia: dress like her Jac: no I don't Jac: this is how I've always been Jac: and I don't have nearly enough money to dress like her Amelia: I don't need to tell you that designer dupes exist Amelia: your search history already has Jac: 🙄 so I wanna wear nice clothes Jac: that's not new Amelia: but your definition of nice has Jac: so you're saying I looked like crap then or now? Amelia: I'd never say that Jac: I can change my taste Jac: you don't have to as well, I'm not making you, so why are you being so Jac: weird about it Amelia: I don't want to fight about it anymore Amelia: come to the party, you can wear what you want Jac: I can't come to the party now Jac: it'll be practically over Amelia: then we'll do something else Amelia: you can't send me 🏠 with Is Jac: you asked to sleep over Amelia: yeah but I can't fucking bear it Amelia: any of this Jac: that's why I didn't want to go Amelia: and I shouldn't be here Jac: do you really want to leave Amelia: I didn't want to go Jac: I don't even think I've talked to Erin before Amelia: you haven't Jac: why does everyone have to go to everything now Jac: the more people you know the better Amelia: that's not very Savannah-ish of you Jac: She doesn't actually have many friends either Jac: any Jac: real ones Amelia: she does now Amelia: you're her best friend Jac: she wants to be your friend too Amelia: 😂 Jac: she does Amelia: didn't you read how she talks to me? she thinks I'm more tragic than Is Amelia: that there's something wrong with me Jac: I read how you talk to her too Jac: you weren't treating her like she was any more intelligent than Is either Amelia: you just want it to be my fault Jac: no I don't Jac: I want us to all get along Amelia: you pretty much threw me out the chat earlier Jac: for your sake Jac: I knew you were angry and you were going to say something you'd regret Amelia: if we're all such great friends I should be able to say whatever I like Jac: you can Jac: but you shouldn't say things you can't take back Jac: just for the effect of the thing Jac: if you want to still say it in the morning Jac: I won't stop you Amelia: I can't take it back anyway Amelia: whether I say it or not Jac: if no one knows Jac: then you don't have to deal with it Amelia: I still have to deal Jac: but not with everyone else's opinion Jac: it's better Amelia: I don't care what anyone thinks, you never used to either Jac: that's not true Jac: for me Amelia: okay Jac: you know that Jac: and you must care too Jac: or we wouldn't be here Amelia: you know why we're here Amelia: and if you don't also know that tonight I don't care about literally anything then you must've blocked me on socials Jac: I haven't Jac: I bet it tastes as gross as it smells Amelia: after the first few it doesn't matter Jac: more like you've numbed your entire being with whatever drink so you can't taste or feel anything Amelia: if I didn't feel anything, I wouldn't have asked if you were okay now Jac: I meant more physically Jac: you're so dramatic sometimes, you know Amelia: you're so cruel sometimes Jac: yeah Jac: probably Jac: but that was a joke Amelia: 😂 Amelia: like this party Jac: they're always crap Amelia: no they're not Amelia: I have loads of fond memories Jac: you aren't always this wasted Amelia: I've never been this wasted Amelia: you're correct, but you're wrong about the physical numbing thing, if another lad tries to touch me I will be very dramatic Jac: Meels Jac: tell me you feel uncomfortable, unsafe Jac: then I can get one my parents to come get you Jac: because it's your mum's birthday, so your parents can't Amelia: what about Savannah? Jac: Sienna was here too Jac: so they couldn't stay over Jac: I only have a single bed, remember Jac: two is okay, three is just silly Amelia: your parents will be annoyed, mine too Jac: yours will just be worried Jac: better than being somewhere you don't want to be Amelia: I can't do that, ruin how good her birthday was Jac: then don't tell them Jac: not as if my parents will, unless you're sobbing or something Amelia: boys don't make me cry Jac: it's Connell Jac: Ty's friend Jac: and I don't like him that much, alright Amelia: but why do you like him? Amelia: why now? Jac: why does anyone like anyone Amelia: because they're clever and fun and even if they tell awful jokes they're still funny to you and you just want to look at them constantly, sometimes when they're asleep and you feel weird about it but you do it anyway Amelia: and touching them doesn't make you feel 🤮 but not touching them does Jac: that's different Jac: that's Jac: more Amelia: you don't want to settle for less Amelia: Savannah wants you to Amelia: I don't know why her boyfriend's friends can't find their own girlfriends Jac: It's not like I'm being pimped out Amelia: she even wants me to date one of them and she hates me Amelia: bit weird Jac: she thinks its a nice thing to offer Jac: she doesn't hate you Amelia: okay, I hate her Amelia: same difference Jac: that's literally the opposite Jac: why do you hate her Amelia: because crap parties like this are the only time I get to see you now, when she remembers she has a boyfriend Amelia: or needs to remind her followers Amelia: same difference Jac: you see me at school when you're not in detention Amelia: no I don't, she's in every class with you Amelia: I see you both Jac: Neither of us can help that though Jac: it's not as if it was planned Amelia: you don't want to help it though Amelia: you don't even miss me Jac: stop it Jac: we still see each other Amelia: it's not the same and you don't want it to be any more Jac: it's just transition year Jac: it literally isn't the same, everything is weird Amelia: I can't do this Jac: we aren't doing anything Jac: nothing has to change Amelia: it already has and all you're doing about it is fobbing me off like I'm Isabelle Jac: What do you want me to do, that's me actually asking Amelia: Erin's brother/boyfriend is back in my face, I have to go Jac: go to the most crowded area of the party and wait Jac: alright, I'll wake them up Jac: don't go outside or anywhere alone, even though that's what you want to do, it's just not a good idea Amelia: I can handle it Amelia: am handling it Jac: Okay, good Jac: but you're still getting picked up Amelia: no, I can't, I told you Jac: why not, your parents think you're going to Isabelle's anyway, they won't know any different Amelia: oh yeah, I forgot about Is Amelia: I'll just wait for her Jac: When did you last see her? Amelia: I don't know Amelia: I've been trying not to see them all night Jac: I'm gonna message her Jac: call her if I have to Amelia: I'm not going with you Amelia: like everything's normal when nothing is Amelia: you're only worried what I'll let slip to her Amelia: but you don't have to be, she's drunk too Jac: That's not true Jac: I'm worried about you Jac: you don't have to go with me, but she's had enough fun and you need to go Amelia: Tom's SO tall, remember, I'll find her Jac: will you tell me the truth Jac: whether you do or don't Amelia: why wouldn't I? Jac: so I don't call Is if you don't want to go looking for her Jac: I'm going to check, you know Amelia: stop making me want to forgive you Amelia: you're the cutest when you're like this, you know Jac: I'm not doing it to be cute, or for forgiveness Jac: you're still my friend Amelia: it's like vertigo, I'm used to that Amelia: I haven't had it for ages though Jac: Sit on the stairs and you're bound to catch her coming up or down Amelia: Tom won't see me from all the way up there Amelia: maybe he'll trip over me and fall to his death Jac: You aren't angry at Tom Jac: just people with penises Amelia: I'm not angry Jac: What are you? Amelia: 💔 Jac: Yeah Jac: me too Amelia: I'm sorry Jac: you don't need to say that Amelia: maybe not Amelia: but if you need to hear it, I want to Jac: I'm sorry Jac: does it feel any better? Amelia: yeah, a little bit Jac: you must be easier to please than me Amelia: 😏 Jac: shut up, you're as bad as Is Jac: I dread to think though Amelia: that boy is disgusting and she's going to be talking about nothing else until the next Jac: he has bad dandruff Jac: she hasn't noticed because his height disorientates her but I sat behind him in Irish Jac: it was very distracting Jac: and I couldn't see the board Amelia: 😣 Dia ár sábháil Amelia: I must be drunk if I can remember that Amelia: where's sir when you want him Jac: yeah, I hear that's what the garda do when they pull you over Jac: very impressive Amelia: good idea, they'll give me a lift home Jac: Ha, no Amelia: I'm walking that way because I just remembered I'd have to share a bed with Is Amelia: after that revelation about Tom's hygiene Jac: Can you please stop Amelia: no, then I'd just be standing in the road Jac: Why can't you just do what you're told and wait Amelia: 😂 hello, it's me, Amelia Jac: I mean it though Jac: you're scaring me Jac: what if Erin's brother or boyfriend followed you Jac: or you fall over into the river or a ditch Amelia: I made it clear that I wasn't interested, he's too 😳 to follow me Amelia: and I'm going home, not sightseeing Jac: I don't want you to get hurt Amelia: so don't hurt me Jac: don't do reckless shit because you're 💔 Amelia: I won't if you don't Jac: when do I ever do anything reckless? Amelia: when do you ever like boys from the basketball team? Jac: that's not reckless Jac: boys are easy Amelia: you could still get hurt Jac: Boys don't make me cry either Amelia: you make yourself cry Amelia: SUCH a virgo Jac: shut up, scorpio is a water sign Jac: you only get your sting out if provoked Amelia: yeah, I know, I'm really in touch with myself and who I am, thanks Amelia: too self aware if anything Jac: see, touchy Jac: not coming for your astrology knowledge Amelia: it's not in depth anyway Amelia: I'm sure Savannah knows way more about it Jac: She's a taurus, if you wanna say something about that Amelia: I already knew that Jac: oh, it's probably in her bio Amelia: probably Jac: unless you've made her birth chart Amelia: I don't take after my mum hard enough to know the exact time Savannah Moore was born Jac: 👩🏻👧🏻 Amelia: I do want my mum though Amelia: she'd know what to do Jac: Get a taxi Jac: go home Jac: she's not going to be mad Amelia: yeah she will Jac: only a little Jac: she'd be madder to know you're literally walking the streets right now Amelia: from Erin's not Land's end Amelia: you're more dramatic than me Jac: how would you walk from Land's end Jac: you're terrible at Geography Amelia: is now the time for a lesson? 🤓 Jac: it would be if you listened to a word I said Jac: 😎 Amelia: I would've if you'd said this hours ago Amelia: shots ago Jac: how was I to know you weren't having the best time ever Amelia: how would I have the best time ever without you? Jac: Who was that girl you were smoking with? Jac: was too blurry for me to tell Amelia: 🤔 Jac: You can tell me Amelia: I don't think she told me her name Amelia: it was very mysterious Jac: right Amelia: very 😎 you could say Jac: you could Jac: but if it was a lad that tried it you'd call it a line Amelia: if it was a lad I'd have knocked them off the top step Jac: exactly Amelia: but it wasn't a lad or a line Jac: yeah Amelia: and it won't be happening again anyway Jac: the smoking or the mystery girl? Amelia: either/both Jac: don't make promises you can't keep Amelia: it's an easy one to keep Jac: there's gonna be more parties Jac: more fond memories to make Amelia: 🚭🚷 Jac: you don't write captions Jac: didn't technically break your rule Amelia: I said I would for you Jac: I know you did Jac: but it's about more than me Amelia: yeah Jac: you know it's okay, don't you Amelia: it doesn't feel okay so no Jac: does the alternative feel any better Amelia: you're trying to confuse me now Jac: no I'm not Jac: do you wanna go out with one of Ty's mates Amelia: of course I fucking don't Jac: then there you go Jac: the alternative has to be okay Amelia: no it doesn't Amelia: because it's not an alternative Amelia: like red wine or white Jac: okay, then you don't have any choice in it Jac: more reason it has to be okay Jac: and that isn't a competition, by the way Amelia: you love a competition Jac: Red Jac: a good rose Jac: white, never ever, unless you really have to Amelia: all wine is disgusting, stop lying to yourself Jac: you didn't care about disgusting when you were necking shots Jac: or smoking Amelia: I'm not pretending I liked it Jac: I'm not either Jac: I've acquired the taste Amelia: this isn't when you're the cutest Jac: 🙄 Jac: you can't just eat sweets and crisps, forever Jac: someone has to force you to enjoy broccoli Jac: it's the same thing Amelia: she's not that kind of mum Amelia: so actually, I can do what I want Jac: you'll get fat and spotty Jac: and get type-2 diabetes Amelia: Savannah will be thrilled Amelia: Erin's brother/boyfriend will get over it Jac: what about you Jac: how will you feel Amelia: 💔 probably but I do already Jac: you'll feel sick, more likely Jac: everything is a habit, you just have to form the right ones Amelia: I feel sick already too Amelia: the vertigo-ish thing Jac: I did tell you to sit down Jac: are you wearing heels? Amelia: boots though Amelia: it's a fat heel Jac: you need to be as close to the ground as you can Jac: don't crawl though Jac: you will get picked up then Amelia: the very drunk 🐛 Jac: in that dress it's practically an invitation Jac: for a passing stray, or creepy dude Jac: just watch out for glass, and dog shit Amelia: you don't like my dress!? Jac: I like it Jac: I'm saying your arse would fully be out if you even bent over a bit Amelia: I'm not bending anywhere Amelia: 🤢🤮 Jac: just focus please Amelia: 👀 🔎🔭🔬 Jac: how far are you from yours? Amelia: you're trying to throw me out of this chat too, are you? Jac: I'm trying to see how much longer I need to worry about you, idiot Amelia: no longer, because I'm alright Jac: no you aren't Jac: you feel sick and heartbroken Jac: and you're walking home alone, trashed Amelia: you weren't worried earlier Jac: when? Amelia: when you told me to shut up and meet my mum Jac: I already told you why Jac: you were gonna say something Jac: and you did need to go to the ballet, that's nothing for me to be concerned about Amelia: I was 💔 then, you can't just care when you want Jac: I do care Jac: and did Jac: I can't fix it Amelia: I know x3 Jac: stop saying I don't care Amelia: okay Jac: and tell me where you are Amelia: that's geography Jac: if you're in Land's end, you've really fucked this up Amelia: 😂 Amelia: I'm over halfway but to my 🏠 Jac: Good Jac: you've eat into my beauty sleep enough Jac: keep up the pace Amelia: for you it's just called 😴 Jac: now was that 🤓 or 😎 Amelia: it was 🥰 Jac: I won't push you off the stairs in your current state Jac: not a fair fight Amelia: I fell up the curb before Amelia: maybe you're right about the numbing Jac: have you hurt yourself Jac: you need to clean it when you get in, properly Jac: you don't need stitches, do you Amelia: I haven't bled to death so no Jac: Okay, good Jac: you live nowhere near a hospital and they're the worst at this time Amelia: my parents would rage if they had to take me to A&E Jac: that's why you should take the first aid course with me Jac: and for your uni app Amelia: is Savannah taking it with us? Jac: You're suggesting I tell her she can't Amelia: I'm saying I can't if she is Amelia: I will throw that dummy at her before I ever 💋 it in front of her Jac: You said you wanted to spend time with me Jac: she's part of the deal Amelia: but I don't want my first 💋 experience to be a first aid plastic person Jac: Her name's Annie Amelia: okay, it's a date now, yeah? Amelia: all I need's a name and I'm 😍🥰😘 Jac: you didn't get one earlier Amelia: I didn't kiss her earlier Jac: they're more rubbery too Jac: not like a sex-doll but you know Jac: give her some respect Amelia: you're so annoying Jac: rude Jac: and hypocritical, you woke me up for this Amelia: did I? Jac: It doesn't matter now, won't be able to sleep 'til you're home Amelia: why isn't your phone on silent? Jac: It is but I still hear it vibrate Jac: it could be important Jac: case in point Amelia: or you were hoping it was someone else Jac: Connell probably got with someone else at the party Jac: life goes on Amelia: which one is he? Jac: the only one that looks like he might have a few brain cells on the team Amelia: 📙👆🏀 Amelia: can he do that twirly thing? Jac: with a book balanced on his head Jac: if he can I'll go out with him Amelia: 😕 Jac: don't make that face at me Amelia: 🙁 Jac: wrong direction Amelia: you can't practice on me for how to tell boys what to do with their face Jac: boys are always 😍🥰😘 Jac: they do the hard work for you Amelia: they are hard work Jac: to like Jac: just pretend Amelia: why? Jac: it makes life easier Jac: actually, you don't even have to like them Jac: when Is isn't talking about how tall they are, she's talking about how crap they are, like you said Jac: no one will notice the difference Amelia: it didn't make my life easier tonight that they didn't notice I wasn't doing anything for their benefit Amelia: literally the opposite Jac: you can't opt out of being a girl Jac: unless you literally do, and I don't think that's a walk in the park so Amelia: I don't want to, but I'm not a girl for them Jac: I know that Jac: they're oblivious Amelia: I know that Jac: you can use it or be annoyed by it Jac: that's all Amelia: you're tired, you're being cynical Jac: hi, I'm Jac Jac: I'm always cynical, and I'm right Amelia: no you're not, and I don't want to use lads for anything, thanks Jac: then don't Jac: say you did, imply it Amelia: why? Jac: so Sav stops trying to set you up with a basketball boy and Is stops telling you how amazing/terrible it all is depending on her mood Amelia: I'll tell Sav to stop and Is never will whatever else happens Jac: what do you want Amelia: 🏠🛏💤 Jac: keep walking Jac: you can be asleep before me I bet Amelia: I don't want that though Jac: you just said you did, silly Amelia: not you lying awake because of me Jac: There's lots on my mind Jac: virgo, right Amelia: if you want to talk about it, I'm drunker than I've ever been Amelia: probably a good time Jac: I don't think I do Amelia: sounds virgo-ish Jac: you don't like talking either Jac: it works Amelia: not to anyone else Amelia: but this is you Jac: do you want to say it Jac: or do you wanna wait 'til you aren't drunk or sad or anything else but sure Amelia: I don't know Jac: then I'd wait Amelia: I just want you to come back Amelia: how long do I have to wait for that? Jac: I don't know Jac: what you mean Amelia: you do Jac: I think this is who I am now Jac: who I need to be Amelia: which one? Who you are or who you need to be? Jac: that's the same person Amelia: not necessarily Jac: it should be Amelia: should Amelia: I shouldn't hate Savannah, but I do, I should be a better friend to Is but I'm not Amelia: I shouldn't scare you or wake you up in the middle of the night Amelia: but that's happened Jac: You needed help Jac: that's okay Jac: I don't know about the rest Amelia: No, I just needed to talk to you Amelia: and I don't think that's okay now Jac: why not? Amelia: I can't remember but there were loads of reasons Jac: if that's what you want Amelia: it's not Jac: then don't stop talking to me Amelia: I'll scroll up to where you said you don't want to talk Amelia: it wasn't ages ago Jac: just about what's going on in my head Jac: anything else is fine Amelia: okay Jac: you don't have to think of something right now Jac: you aren't being timed Amelia: you can get my uni app off your mind, that's years away Jac: three years Jac: school years, at that Amelia: I might take a gap year, that's even longer Jac: really Jac: where are you going to go? Amelia: it's years away Amelia: I haven't planned it yet Jac: well then you can't say you're having one yet either Amelia: I didn't, I said I might Amelia: like I might not go to uni at all too Jac: you might die in a ditch Jac: you can still plan for not Amelia: not if I die in a ditch in three years Amelia: or four Jac: don't you care Jac: what you're going to do Amelia: I care about this year and about now Jac: I need to check your rising sign Amelia: maybe it'll put you to sleep Jac: now who's trying to get rid of who Amelia: I care about that Amelia: you being okay Jac: You can't fix it either Amelia: not without knowing what's wrong Jac: exactly Amelia: I can use 🥺 too, Sav doesn't own it Jac: is that gonna help us work it all out? Jac: fell free to go ahead, like Amelia: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 Amelia: talk to me Jac: I literally am Amelia: about what's going on in your head Jac: I don't know Jac: or get it either Amelia: I didn't say you have to make sense of it Jac: I can't, Meels Amelia: I've never had to beg you before and I don't know how to Jac: don't Amelia: not being able to fix this is scarier than being out here Jac: I know Jac: if it could be different Amelia: or the same as it used to be Jac: or the same as it used to be Jac: it can't though Amelia: I'm home Jac: Picture please Amelia: [imagine that blurry picture please, the state of this gal rn] Jac: it's like an impressionistic painting of your house Jac: but I'll take it as evidence Amelia: and I'll use it as art homework Jac: remember the portrait you did of me Amelia: I still have it Amelia: wait, I'm gonna find it Jac: I bet you've already woken your parents up Jac: any more noise and they definitely won't leave it 'til morning Amelia: if they were asleep but don't think about that Amelia: where would it be? 🤔 Jac: I keep telling you you need proper portfolios for your work Amelia: maybe Savannah will buy them for me Amelia: she's like SO generous Jac: it's not a money thing, you're just messy Jac: so sh Amelia: and I don't have a job Amelia: you shh, I'm searching Jac: your parents would get them for you Amelia: god, I was crap at painting a year ago Amelia: your portrait is going to look nothing like you, I'll probably find it and not realise Jac: well I still liked it Jac: and your teacher did Jac: though maybe she was just thrilled you handed anything in Amelia: 😂 yeah Amelia: OH MY GOD! here it is Jac: show me then! Amelia: 😳 Jac: come on Jac: or I'll 🥺 Amelia: [does show her and of course it's super gay and feelsy because we were on our bullshit even back then gals] Jac: [it's a shame the fan art would be of her as Lexa like always] Jac: see, I remembered it being good Jac: you should believe in yourself more Amelia: I believe I could do better now Amelia: if everything would stop violently tilting Jac: you need to close your eyes, or at least be in a dark room right now Jac: not trying to make art Amelia: if my parents really loved me they'd have installed a light switch that I don't have to get up for Jac: did I mention lazy as well as messy Jac: and you need to get some water Amelia: 😵 Jac: you know I'm not sympathetic Amelia: but you don't want me to puke just because you're mad at me Jac: I'm not mad at you Amelia: my mum will be if I ruin this rug Jac: you shouldn't have got so pissed Amelia: how else am I meant to deal with my emotions? in a healthy way? No Jac: I can't lecture you Jac: not now anyway, maybe later Amelia: you are though, a little bit Jac: if you reckon that then your parents really aren't strict enough Amelia: they're really not, miracle baby privileges are lifelong in this 🏠 Jac: you're gonna turn out so ill-adjusted Jac: good thing they won't care though Amelia: I probably already am Jac: probably Amelia: but at least I don't need stitches Jac: 🌤 Amelia: remember when I did Amelia: terrifying Jac: safe to say it dashed any dreams of wanting to be a surgeon Amelia: I thought the scar was going to be so ugly but you wouldn't let me get another fringe Jac: the only other person with a forehead scar is harry potter and it's a favourable comparison Jac: there's lots of bitches with fringes Amelia: my parents definitely don't love me enough if it's not a ⚡️ Jac: that sounds like they were practising ritual scarification Amelia: but you do, you said I could never be ugly Jac: because you couldn't Amelia: did I cry? I feel like I should be crying now Jac: a bit Jac: but I didn't tell and your mum just thought you were in loads of pain so you got ice cream Amelia: it bled more than it hurt Jac: headwounds do Jac: and you've got a massive head Amelia: tomorrow I will Amelia: it'll feel HUGE Jac: be thankful Is can only message you Jac: not talk you into another headache Amelia: she has been Jac: yeah? Amelia: I don't know what to say Jac: is she going into too much detail Amelia: always Jac: just tell her she's making you 🤮 Amelia: is this who I am now? Jac: a person with normal boundaries? Amelia: someone on the other fucking side Jac: of what Jac: what are you on about Amelia: everything Amelia: left out of it Jac: you don't want to be like Is Amelia: she's not 💔 Jac: that's just who she is Jac: she's not got anything in her life that makes her Amelia: neither have I Jac: you clearly do Jac: or a lack of something, either way Amelia: or I'm dramatic, like you said Jac: is that how it feels? Amelia: yeah Jac: okay, you're just dramatic then Jac: go get some sleep Amelia: or everyone's gaslighting me Jac: sounds a bit like a conspiracy theory Amelia: lack of trust is very scorpio-ish of me Jac: true Jac: you're just being true to type Amelia: I'm going slowly insane, true to my artistic type Jac: you can have your 💙 period Amelia: shame I didn't go blue outside Jac: or not Jac: I'm glad you're back Amelia: so you can go and get some sleep Jac: why do you want to make me out as so selfish Amelia: because that would make sense Amelia: and it wouldn't be my fault Jac: nothing is your fault Jac: regret is just a requirement of a hangover, with the shame Amelia: we can't go back because you want Savannah as a friend more than me Amelia: if that's not my fault or you being selfish and shallow I don't know how to make sense of it Jac: it isn't that simple Jac: but if you need it to be one of those two Jac: go with the latter Amelia: in 3rd class after Ms Brennan paired me with Georgia for the school trip and she got it into her head we were going to be best friends, you were upset and I told her to leave me alone Amelia: I didn't say to you that if you wanted to hang out with me then she was part of the deal Jac: Georgia was lame Amelia: and you think Savannah is the coolest, I know Jac: we aren't in third class Amelia: exactly, we've been friends longer than that now and you won't do that for me Jac: you can't expect me to do that Jac: we should have more friends Jac: go see if Georgia still wants to be your bestie Amelia: she won't if I message her now, unless she was at the party too Amelia: maybe she'd still be up Jac: don't be stupid Jac: obviously wait 'til you're sober Jac: she'd think you were trying to booty call her Amelia: I've got loads of them Jac: Lucky you, right Amelia: not really Jac: Connell hasn't messaged me yet Amelia: he's probably waiting until he's sober Amelia: so you don't think he's stupid Jac: I doubt he's put that much thought into it Amelia: don't you care? Jac: should I? Amelia: you like him Amelia: being thought about is like the bare minimum Jac: he wants me, that's all I need Amelia: loads of people want you and you didn't need any of them Jac: we're older now Amelia: yeah Amelia: we are Jac: if I don't want a boyfriend, there's the alternative Amelia: okay Jac: like you said, they think you're weird Amelia: you care about all the wrong things Jac: says you Amelia: I also said I don't want to fight anymore Jac: There's nothing to fight about Jac: get some sleep Amelia: just everything to fight for Jac: Amelia Amelia: I'm going, I'm going Jac: that's not what I meant Amelia: do you want to say what you mean? Jac: don't be mad at me, okay Amelia: I can't be mad at you Jac: Sorry Amelia: you're sorrier than you've ever been and I'm drunker Amelia: we really are older now Jac: ain't it fun Amelia: you'll have fun again tomorrow Amelia: or the next day Jac: that's a promise or a threat Amelia: Savannah won't let you be sad or any longer than it takes her to apply a facial Amelia: for* Jac: don't I deserve to be happy Amelia: of course you do Jac: then what's the problem? Amelia: Sorry Jac: yeah Jac: I know Jac: forget it, let's just Jac: tomorrow's a new day Amelia: I don't think facials cure hangovers Jac: it's all about hydration actually Jac: so it wouldn't hurt Amelia: it would if she applied it Amelia: whispering is a foreign language Jac: 🙄 Amelia: 🥱 Jac: go then Amelia: if that's what you want Jac: you're tired, don't be annoying Amelia: I'm tired of you defending her constantly Jac: I can't help that there's nothing wrong with her Amelia: she's annoying, don't call me annoying Jac: don't act like I'm making you go to sleep, or that you can't if I don't say so Amelia: I swear to god, it's like we're in a parallel fucking universe and I'm the only one who realises Jac: I like Savannah Amelia: Why? She's the same person you used to not like Jac: No, we didn't know her then Amelia: you sound like her, acting like her boyfriend magically appeared last year when she thinks he got hot Jac: Do you reckon randoms like Georgia know you as well as I do? Amelia: it doesn't mean she can't have an opinion Jac: no, but it means it's not as informed Amelia: she'll change her mind once we're best friends Amelia: I haven't changed mine about Savannah Jac: well I have Amelia: why don't you trust me? Jac: It's not about trusting you Jac: I've got my opinion, you've got yours Amelia: 😕 Jac: it doesn't have to be Amelia: what do you want me to do, spend even MORE time with her? Jac: I don't need you to like her Amelia: what then? Jac: Accept that I do, that's it Amelia: just don't like her more than me Jac: we aren't little kids any more Jac: you'll always be my first best friend, nothing can change that Amelia: I wish we were Jac: I know Jac: we can't go back though Jac: no matter how hard we wish it Amelia: I'm not stupid, I know it wasn't perfect Amelia: but I can't keep feeling like this going forward Jac: no, you can't Jac: what are you going to do? Amelia: I don't know Jac: one for the morning Amelia: one for my mum Jac: probably Amelia: if she can't help me I'll fully lean into the insane artist thing Jac: you're going to be okay, Meels Jac: I know you will Amelia: please go back to being cynical or I'm going to cry Jac: I'll do my best Amelia: thanks Jac: just keep away from 💛 paint okay Amelia: if I use it all to paint my room I'll be safe Amelia: and obviously cheered up Jac: have you made that much of a mess Jac: 🤢 🤮 Amelia: RIP to this rug, the only thing in here my mum liked Jac: oh god Amelia: Savannah will love me for giving her the chance to go 🛍 Amelia: we can all go Jac: that's true Amelia: Is will probably have 🤮 too Amelia: maybe right now, she's gone very quiet Jac: I should probably message her Amelia: tomorrow, you're 😴 as far as she knows Jac: a good out Jac: she's fine, right Amelia: she's 😍🥰😘 Amelia: that's fine for her Jac: Does she like Savannah Amelia: you read how excited she was about matching manicures Jac: right Jac: she doesn't fake stuff Amelia: so she must like her Jac: I don't know why she likes me Amelia: Is likes anyone who doesn't take a boy from her Jac: Yeah Jac: it's hard to feel sorry for her Amelia: anyway, you're a really easy person to like Jac: we aren't good friends to her Amelia: she's not perfect herself Jac: she's just oblivious though Amelia: I'll do better by her Jac: I don't know if I will Amelia: why not? Jac: I don't think I can be bothered Amelia: 😂 Jac: 😏 Jac: it's not funny though, really Amelia: a little bit Jac: you think I'm a bad person? Amelia: no Jac: okay Amelia: if I have to accept that we're not kids and everything's different, she can too Jac: we'll all have to Amelia: she'll probably get a proper boyfriend like Savannah soon anyway Amelia: then it'll be her who can't be bothered with us Jac: you're right Jac: hope it's not Tom Jac: or Josh??? Amelia: she can have one of the many lads in my inbox Jac: how generous of you Amelia: no ulterior motives Jac: just to palm them off Amelia: she'll enjoy it Jac: too much Amelia: I'll listen to her talk about it over doing it Jac: mhmm Jac: I have to go now Amelia: oh Amelia: okay Jac: I've got so much homework to do tomorrow Jac: I need at least some sleep to not totally tank it Amelia: at least we could spend time together in detention Jac: That is NOT happening Amelia: I'm joking, go Jac: Night ❤ Amelia: yeah Jac: aren't you going to wish me sweet dreams? Amelia: you're too virgo Amelia: too much on your mind Jac: you could still wish for me Jac: even if it won't happen Amelia: I do Jac: Thanks Jac: can you dream when you're drunk? Amelia: I don't really dream a lot Amelia: maybe I only can when I'm drunk Amelia: what if Jac: that's a terrible excuse for alcoholism Jac: but tell me in the morning Amelia: you'll have to remind me Jac: deal Amelia: goodnight Jac: 👋💤 Amelia: ❤❤❤

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