#anyway they have 50 years in the books
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When I was a kid, my mom would erupt into a meltdown at the dinner table and storm off to her room. I would just sit there in stunned silence, and my little sister would try not to cry. But my dad never got mad or upset, he just put away the food and washed the dishes.
Somehow, I ended up just like both of them.
Someone being patient with you on your bad days is one of the softest forms of love
#great#i'm fucking crying#anyway they have 50 years in the books#actually autistic#meltdown#cw meltdown#i hate my meltdowns they make me want to crawl into a hole
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making and weaving and loving! like we have done for millennia!!
#mine#original#ough. hello.#happy new year!!!!! first drawing of th year!!!!!!!!#also LAKSBF 15k followers. hello. welcome#i taught bf how to crochet n hes making a blanket....the irl insp for this piece...#im so proud of these colours....i used an actual real life colour palette..n i think that is th way forward#also . gradient maps my beloved#why have i always refused ur warm embrace.......#dont pay attention 2 the wool bowls okay ive seen a picture of one like once#i do want one however. tho why r they so expensive#its a bowl w a hole in it. relax#ive been listening 2 the silmarillion audiobook as ive been working...i love it sm its like incomprehensible#like. idk what ur talking abt but i love it all th same!!#i tried reading it last year n was like.......okay anyway#rereading gay nuclear disaster book rn....natasha pulley would it kill u 2 write a smut scene#i want 2 see th horrible little scientist man get railed#next book after this is . 1030 pages oaodghsdugd#my goal is to read 50 books this year but i do not think that will happen bc i refuse 2 read books less than 400 pages skjdgbskjd#someone ask me about books. i have so many opinions abt books#okay good evening. i leave u w love
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Ok these are the last ones I swear (lie)
#my art#dark rise#dark heir#will kempen#violet ballard#cyprian#Elizabeth Kent#actually insane how 1 single book made me black out and draw like 50 things in the span of 2 weeks#scribbles#I swear I am cooking like an actual polished drawing tho#my 1 single actual polished drawing to end off the year#anyways it’s actually been really fun drawing silly memes if anyone has any ideas or suggestions lmk#the brainrot has been reaching catastrophic levels but by GOD am I having fun
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my greatest asset as a "smart kid" was knowing that i really wasn't all that smart. every monday my pops would take me to the library, where i'd max out my library card to check out the full twenty-five books, and read them all by the next monday so i could get another twenty-five. this went on from ages 5 to 18, and everyone around me would say "oh, wyatt is so smart they read so much so fast". but i knew this wasn't the case. for one thing, it's easy to read a lot of books when you're homeschooled with no one friends
for another, i wasn't reading academic texts. i wasn't reading classics. i read plenty of that kind of thing as part of my school curriculum, so i saw the library as a source of leisure reading 90% of the time. i was reading horror novels and trashy romance and manga and comics. i'd read nonfiction, but only about whatever topic i was fixiated on at the time. dog grooming, parasitology, the elephant man, and cat breeding, to name just a few. i wasn't trying to better myself! was trying to chill!
adults would tell me how smart i was, how i should be a doctor or lawyer. and all i could think was: "i don't see how reading Anne McCaffrey could possibly translate to my getting into med school." this has got to be why i can't relate to any of the posts about burnout or ego death i see from the gifted kid program refugees on here. being smart for small town* white trash isn't the same as being smart in the grand scheme of things. i do feel bad that so many of y'all bought your own hype, but once i found out adults lied about santa claus, i figured they would lie to you about everything and took everything they said with a grain of salt.
#*my town is not longer small and even then it was middle sized#but like you get what i am saying#this is also why i was developing a feminist bent to my worldview even while growing up in tradcath isolation#the santa thing i mean#anyway i read about 50 or so books a year now depending on how busy i am#and they are a mix of educational and pleasure reading or more often both at once#i think that's fine i have friends now and a full time job#blog
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Been moving my book collection by myself and am on the verge of death
#mott txt#deff didn’t have this many last time I moved#so glad I donated a bunch of them to a little girl last year for Xmas#her parents couldn’t afford Xmas for her and she was a bookworm and marvel geek so I gave her like 50+ books and tons of old marvel stuff#to start a collection#I donated a good portion of my YA since I’m not as into it any more#I do however regret gifting a good chunk of my marvel collection#bc now I’m back into it. but that’s alright. they’re being loved#anyways why am I on a tangent in the tags rn#i’m exhausted
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I'm rapidly becoming a huge audiobook stan like especially as a lover of many books that I have a hard time reading and keep track of (looking at YOU high fantasies and certain more academic texts) now whenever I'm like "I want to read this book but IDK if I'll be able to process a damn thing" I go ough..what if..there's an audiobook...Like Hell Yeah slap some character voices on those motherfuckers and I suddenly Get It
#literally i read about half of dracula daily last year#and processed IDK like 50% of what I read#im having a MUCH better time with Re:Dracula#not that I dislike reading a book visually don't get me wrong#but certain books i know my eyes arfe gonna be bouncing around the page#and retaining very little#aka ones that are dense or were written with older language or just real fuckin long#if ur book is over 500 pgs please read to me#anyway excited to finally actually read the LOTR books via audiobook
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anybody on here read fucking. uh. the magicians
#books have made me insane. and they were supposedly nyt bestsellers back in their day and yet no one ? is talking about them????#granted their day was ten years ago BUT#god. i’m so insane i had to start watching the tv show (only ~50% the same canon) because that people ARE talking about#if only a little bit and mostly to complain about some shit that apparently went down in the later seasons regarding a ship i’m pretty#agnostic on tbh#maybe the show will sell me on it and then proceed to shatter my heart as well. we shall see as i continue#anyway read them! read them read them!!!#i was hesitant for a while because they get pitched everywhere as ‘a GROWN-UP narnia… a WITTY GENRE-AWARE harry potter…’ and i was like.#well to be frank that sounds kind of mean-spirited and lacking in whimsy :/#but actually they’re SO good 🥺 they are like love letters to the genre that are also a fresh take and are fucking hilarious and chart an#incredibly moving emotional journey of the protagonist from adolescence to adulthood#so please. someone come be insane with me :)
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y'all I knew my fellow student was a t**** supporter but like. she's a SUPPORTER supporter
#she fell off the cadillac and hit her head#and the third student is a nurse so she was asking her all the usual questions#and she went 'who's the president'#and this bitch goes 'trump elect. but. biden right now.'#like girl you just hit your head why is it still so far up his ass that that's your answer#anyway the student who hit her head and the student who's a nurse and our instructor all went to the ER#so I'm here just waiting for them to come back#btw this is the same student who told me that it must be nice to have a brain that remembers things#cause I keep doing well on our tests and she's not#she's in her 50s I think and she was in a car accident like 40 years ago and that's her entire personality#she barely puts in any effort for studying and then blames it on lingering effects from the accident#and listen I totally understand that not everyone can study in the same way and it's gonna be way harder for some people than others#I also understand that I'm lucky in that I work at this pilates studio so instead of making a trip to the studio to self practice#I can just stay an hour later and practice then#like it does make it easier#but she self practices like once a week for like 30 minutes and then reads over her book and expects to do well on the tests#like girl don't make weird remarks at me about how my brain just magically remembers things#as if I'm not studying my ass off cause I care about this class#also like I really hope she's okay I do but it is a MIRACLE that it took this long for her to fall
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you ever started doing research for a fic but then the research itself was so interesting you kind of get distracted from the writing?
#anyway i promise ac hk au will eventually see the light of day#it's just that 'intelligence networks and anglo-us relations in hong kong in the early years of cold war' is way too interesting#of a reading topic#as well as just learning about the local society in the 50s#i actually have the opening chapter more or less ready for posting#but i haven't decided on a title yet#and i'm reading books to see if i can get some ideas#writers will literally do anything but actually write the fic#ac hk au#personal
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got some new books at the library today 😈 hehehe
#I got mary Oliver essays#a John Keats poetry book love him!!#a book of Kurt Vonnegut speeches/essays#a journal/essay thing by an author I don’t know#eligible by Curtis sittenfield because I love Jane Austen and I needed a fun fiction read#and a collection of stories and essays by Raymond carver#oh and south and west by Joan didion#I’m very much in an essays/diaries/meditations on writing and reading type of mood lately#I still need to finish the three library books I got first though#I’m reading mystery and manners by Flannery O’Connor currently and then I need to read a novel by her#and her other collection of short stories i haven’t read yet#plus maybe I think there’s some of her letters in the anthology I got#and I also have a short book of Rilke that I need to get to#but I’m pretty sure these will all renew without an issue cuz I think I cant renew three times#anyway I’m ranting I just love the library#they have a perpetual book sale going on and I found a romance book by an author I’ve read before#and a local book about moon phases and regional lore I think? it looks cool#and christian got a book#I’m gonna try to read at least 50 pages a day at minimum#I’m on track to finish 6 books in July! my second most accomplished month this year#I can’t believe I read 12 books in january what was I on#tbf some of those were graphic novels and middle grade lit though#but still
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Listen, some of us would actually like to get through our eternally-growing reading lists, and if someone was like, "Hey, do you want to get reincarnated and get all of your memories back," I would simply say yes.
rip to Essek Thelyss and all of his concerns about dunamancy or whatever but I'm built different.
#what the FUCK kind of amoral wizard are you bro. dont you have books to read.#can't even commit to that level of personal risk. like sir you could never achieve lichdom if even this is too much of a concern#this is NOT about caleb his decisions are valid and i support him#but little barely an adult essek over here like 'no i DON'T want to have eternity to get through every book in the marble tomes'#what the fuck kind of decision making. and i know it's not some concept of 'well what if the ages turn and the world goes to shit'#cuz a) you can just die if you want to and b) he was CLEARLY not thinking that far ahead given the beacon heist.#anyway i did 50/50 books last year but this year I'm halving my word count goal and doubling my reading goal so i can maaaybe make a dent#as if i wont add several dozen to the list while I'm at it#because there's not enough TIME GODDAMMIT
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Trains
If you read the end chapter notes for "Ecstasy," I already bored you about gangway connections and corridor coaches and how both of these things were generally/widely introduced in Great Britain around the late 19th century/early 20th century. Before corridor coaches, there were compartment coaches. Now, let me bore you a bit more XD
With compartment coaches, you open the door and are already inside the cabin! You cannot move between compartments as there's no corridor connecting them. It's great for solitude, I suppose, but horrible if you have a weak bladder.
(Source)
I decided to check the manga and, as you can see, the train Smile and Sebastian board in Ch36 has a lot of doors, an indicator of compartment coaches!
When they step inside, it also looks like they go in and are already in their compartment!
In the anime, however, they go in
and there's clearly a corridor!!!
EDIT:
Note that Sebastian also closes the door differently in the anime! In the manga, he closes the door where Smile opened it; in the anime, it is a sliding door instead and he closes it from the other side!
Interestingly, the train in the anime also has a lot of doors outside. I guess they must have adopted the train's exterior from the manga without understanding why it looks like it does.
Yana might have messed up in the earliest arcs (for understandable reasons), but she certainly stepped up with research since^^
#references#I'm currently reading a book set in the 50s/60s (not convincingly though!!)#and when the protagonist stepped into the train and THEN looked for her compartment I- orz#(I haven't had a good time with historical fiction this year)#(I decided to finally read more nonfiction and embrace my weird fascination and that's the curse I have to live with now XD)#anyway!! Kuroshitsuji didn't let me down at least <3#satisfied my deranged heart XD#(again not an expert on anything!)
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the vampire lestat in audiobook format is 24 hours long and i finished listening to it in a week, meanwhile merrick is only 8 hours long and it took me three weeks to chew through the whole fucking thing. it's not even very badly written, i just really hate it when anne rice turned the dial up to 11 on her Sympathy with the P*dophile bullshit
#idk how i kept misspelling merrick but anyways i finished it. i hate it. i have gotten it over with#p*dophile(s). there's two of them and i'd say they kept jerking each other off but really it's just david having a crush on louis#sometimes i think louis is just straight :\ and for lestat's sake i hope he isn't but :|#merrick forced louis to fall in love with her and he had zero problem with it#meanwhile lestat turned him a vampire when he briefly changed his mind and boom! 60 years of abuse from monsieur pointe du luc#the numbers just don't add up#mae overshares#the book is just so unsatisfying. i know this is the book where louis' superiority complex comes to die. except that...did it?#this dude would insist on looking weak and pathetic just to prove to whoever the fuck that he's superior than other vampires#he thinks he's exampt from the cycle of violation and death these motherfuckers are all trapped in but he isn't!#and when claudia's ghost showed up (plus her diary entry) reminded him of it. merrick just turned around and told him that the ghost lied#???? ik this woman has her own issues having a crush on her surrogate father 50 years senior than her but ????#and then louis tried to use suicide bait to get lestat to get back together with him or whatever#and then it didn't work he got mad and wrote 'tell lestat i can't wait to leave him' in his pathetic little suicide note#this bitch made sure he wasn't gonna actually die. he acted shady and abusive yet again. and got. well. rewarded for it!#cause lestat showed up at last ANYWAYS and reluctantly gave 99% of his blood to this fucking guy#louis' so-called love for lestat is the most hurtful passive agressive fucked-up 'love' i've seen in fiction#do not enjoy that shit at all! maybe im just too vanilla but their relationship is literally torture#good to know they got married in the prince lestat trilogy. yeah that meant nothing. lestat would have been alone. as always#im done talking shit abt louis but god. need to blow off steam
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the Night Circus is fiction because there's no way an Adrien-level sheltered guy goes out to the streets in the 19th century and kisses a girl in an hour
#pls no spoilers I'm on page 50 sjdbdn#why did no one tell me this was a soulmates rivals to lovers book I would have read it ages ago <- lie#I'm exceptional in procrastinating things that I know I'll enjoy#also I'm just guessing here it's a soulmates rivals to lovers please let it be soulmates rivals to lovers#they don't even want to be rivals they are just pitched up against each other by the only parent figure they have ever known#and boy do they do a bad job of parenting#but also. what kind of power tarot girl is if it *is* soulmates rivals to lovers? why do we need her what happens to her?#is she a force of a secret agent? is she the beloved sacrifice the boy--#(Marco? like Marco Diaz from SVTFOE? yeah not Mario that's another magician)#--has to make for some reason?#am I reading too much into this made up shipping discourse in my head and I should just read the book instead of shitposting about it?#maybe so#at any rate. I'm excited about the rivals to lovers soulmates#also the writing flows well and we're covering so much story in so few words already. there's a lot of telling and not showing#or maybe I'm just paying a lot of attention to what showing tiny segments really means and that's why it feels like it#anyway it promises to be fucked up and I'm all for that#night circus spoilers#in case anyone has this filtered like 10 years after its release or would like to filter now so you won't see my posts about this#miaing
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#the last two weeks have been mental#I passed in my last paper for this term on the 24th#which means I’m officially done with the first year of my PhD#and I got news yesterday that I got a high pass on my French translation exam#so I only have to take one more test (could be in Russian or Portuguese or Hebrew or Arabic. my choice based on what I already have) to#finish my language requirements#[which is one of those things that doesn’t seem like a big deal but you can’t go to prospectus defense without it done]#and to multiply the crazy#the Friday before last#I got news that a proposal is submitted to a call for chapters (which I 100% thought I would be turned down on) was accepted#so I’m going to have a whole 40-50 page research project brought out as a chapter in a book by a major U.S. university press#never mind that I’m leaving in 2 weeks#to travel around Europe and Asia for the next 3 months doing research work and visiting friends#I was at such a low point at the start of this term 2 or 3 months ago#burned out and not feeling good about my work and just generally having a time of it with everything#but it feels like everything has turned around so drastically in such a short amount of time#and pushing myself through the bad/hard parts was worth it to come out the other end#anyway I’m rambling#but it’s been amazing to get things to look forward to and move towards making real accomplishments#especially after not sleeping more than 5 hours a night for like 9 months#not the stones#me stuff
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14 + 25?
14. Favorite book you read this year?
umm i don't read much on my own but for school my favorite was probably Ready Player One? we're currently reading a book called Sabriel though and that's been super good...
25. Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one
oooh i can talk about my pokemon character :D his name is Hyacinth and he's a silly little farmer boy who has no fucking clue what's going on. his ace is a shiny mareep named Candy (who i am currently hunting for), and his team rn is Fidough, Sprigatito (who isn't going to evolve), Wooper, Ralts, Mareep, and Fletchinder :) the endgame team tho is shiny mareep, shiny sylveon, shiny fidough, clodsire, sprigatito, and fidough's evo that i can't remember the name of. it's not a mega-effective team but it's his team <3
#tbh i do not read much at all anymore :( i used to read like 50 books a year...#i love my little pokemon oc i do have lore for him#the shiny mareep was a pokemon he found when he was little but it never evolved but now he's dedicated to raising it and using it#as his ace despite it's perceived 'weakness'. his other pokemon are just ones he found while out and about aside from sprigatito#who he did receive in the canon way of 'was given to him as a starter'. his eevee/sylveon he found injured and healed up#the shiny fidough is just bc i wanted a little burnt crepe man. that one has no lore reasoning. i just wanted it#(he uses a fidough anyway i just rlly like the shiny coloration)#anyway hi sage can you tell i've been playing a lotta pokemon lately
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