#anyway there's a reason Louis is always so afraid no one will be there for him and that he started out solo era playing those radio fests..

[statementlou]

https://www.tumblr.com/louisupdates/754934426217152513/goodbye-faith-in-the-future-world-tour-272024?source=share

did he or did he not lose fans then?

I will answer this because this anon actually brings a concrete question to the table rather than just "hurhur but you're a larrie??" (tell me you can't actually refute any of our points…). Anyway this post shows the decrease in Louis instagram followers between the screenshots taken directly after the release of Faith in the Future in Nov '22, when he changed his bio to promote that album and the tour tickets, and now, when he changed it again to mention the current release. But I'm putting that response under a cut because I'm tired of the actual POINT of all this nonsense getting lost in a sea of made up things people insist are important:

There is no rational argument you can make to say that Louis has less fans now than he did 2, 4, or 6 years ago. You don't need a spreadsheet of details you need to USE YOUR EYES! He has gone from filling theaters to filling arenas and stadiums. His second album made a higher chart position than his first album. His festival has doubled in size EVERY year of its existence. And for that matter: his insta post engagement numbers remain about the same (despite the fact that older posts should have way MORE likes due to having been there longer, even aside from follower counts.) SO WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT HIS INSTA FOLLOWER NUMBER???? Serious question: what does the word "fans" mean if these things aren't what matters? ALL of this quibbling about what he should do to make things better and people can't even see that THINGS AREN'T BAD.

Anyway to address the specific question- (con't......)

NO- HE DID NOT LOSE FANS. HE LOST SOME INSTA FOLLOWERS. THESE ARE NOT THE SAME THING. As I said above, literally what does it mean to lose fans if that number change coincides with him having higher sales, more audience members, and higher engagement than ever before? Whatever he lost ISN'T FANS. I wouldn't be surprised if a significant factor was something like a bot purge, but also yes: I'm sure a lot of casuals followed him around the time of his big album release and later unfollowed him. That's extremely normal because that's how casual engagement works, and why the definition of fan really matters. Louis and his team understand this and have referenced it repeatedly, talking about how lucky he is to have *us* specifically, to have the kind of dedicated fanbase he has, to have the KIND of fans he does who will allow him to do what HE wants. @dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram named the issue of depth vs breadth with regard to fans a long time ago, and pointed out why having DEPTH is so much more important. It's like this- artists who are on top 40 radio have more numbers on things like insta follows, and for a time on sales and tickets. But those aren't FANS- they're people with a casual interest. And as soon as that person isn't being forced in their ears 10x a day, those people lose interest and stop supporting them, stop buying stuff and unfollow, and those artists end up doing the 'opener on the jingle ball' circuit rather than their own tours. One Direction as a whole, and Louis maybe most of all or near to at this point, have something MUCH MORE VALUABLE than that- DEPTH FANS. Louis has fans who will support him even if he takes years to release music, or stops parading around with a pretend girlfriend to stay in the headlines at least once a month, or completely changes his image and genre, and that is UNHEARD OF. It's ASTONISHING and worth SO MUCH MORE. And they get that! THAT is why he always bragging about us, why industry people he works with are always so agog about us, why he will do anything for US- not for randos. He is also growing his breadth- and it's OBVIOUSLY WORKING whatever his follower counts are, but that is always going to be secondary to doing things for THE FANDOM because that is his sustainable business model. That is what keeps him onstage and reaching number one. And not coincidentally, the things they do are also working to grow that- much more valuable- commodity. So the fact that that's exactly what these chuckleheads complain about- that he does things that are just fandom facing or serving rather than everything being aimed at recruiting casual fans- does nothing but betray how completely they, unlike Louis and his team, misunderstand the actual drivers of his (actual, existing, happening) success. Luckily for Louis, he and his team rely on their own data harvesting (they do a LOT of it) and growth metrics (they're off the charts) rather than the smug assumptions of random (mostly quite new to this) fans and the few bitter people leading the complaining about everything Louis does.

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hey, it's the DM anon. Sorry if I come off as too pessimistic, but I just want to address the reblog post

"Armand in the show doesn't need someone to introduce him to the modern world. He's already familiar with it."

This was kinda the point of my message. The main reason why the Devils Minion chapter is so popular is because it's not just a cat & mouse thriller; it's also a sitcom about a "normal" boy teaching a powerful 500 yr old immortal all about the modern world - the perfect blend of horror & romantic comedy. Logically I always knew that some of the relationship would be cut or altered when they adapted it to the show, but it looks like they're cutting all of the fan favorite scenes. (I will forever be bitter about losing 'Call Paris for me')

My fear is that the writers will change everything that made Devils Minion, Devils Minion. Whatever relationship Armand & Daniel have on the show will be brand new. I may be jumping the gun, but they've already changed the 2 reasons why Armand chose Daniel as his human companion in the first place:

1. He needed someone to teach him about the modern world and as the reblog stated, he no longer needs that. Which means we also won't get my other favorite scene: when Armand drags Daniel out of bed and demands he show him things in the city. He won't need to do that because he will already have explored these cities with Louis

2. He liked that Daniel wasn't afraid to stand up to him. But from everything the show, reviewers, and Eric has told us, '73 Daniel was just a bumbling idiot Yes Man. Where's the challenge?

And now we know that Loumand had several relationships with humans throughout the decades, some of whom got to live out their lives unharmed. So Daniel isn't even special, he's just the latest. Idk how the show expects to sell ArmanDaniel when they've erased everything that made them unique.

I know Assad talked about Armand's fear that Daniel knows Louis more than he does and the reblog thinks that might be the reason Armand falls for Daniel, but I'm nearly positive Assad was talking about Dubai Daniel not SanFran Daniel. The only connection Louis & Daniel seem to have in the 70s is their love of drugs, since one reviewer talked about how they're both fucked up during the first interview. I doubt young Daniel could stay sober long enough to have a meaningful conversation with Louis, let alone a meaningful relationship. So why exactly would Armand be attracted to him? I really hope the writers give us a real reason that's more than just "he likes him in the book. Y'all do the rest"

Anyway, thanks for allowing me to rant

:) All good.

But... I honestly would wait till the season has run. I do trust them when they say episode 5 and 8 are the game changers.

I know it's hard to stay calm when you have waited for so long to see a realization of something at all.

And... I don't think the "you can fuck them and I can eat them" humans (I hope everyone caught that line and that they attributed that to Lestat in s1^^) were anywhere close on the level Daniel will be.

I really don't.

Daniel is definitely special, as the interview in Dubai proves, imho. But... the timeline is different, that's all. Give it some time.

[scalamore]

Rupelali's promise in Ch 33

Some clarification on this part of the debutante arc:

Some readers think it's a plot hole/contradiction that Lari has thoughts of leaving the palace (debutante arc), and how she so easily left Rupe (Secrets arc), even though in Ch 32-33, she begged him so much to allow her to stay by his side, she'll give up herself/her freedom to him/he owns her, and how in Ch 60-78, well into S3, she worked hard to show him her loyalty and wanting to gain his trust and truly be "his person" to earn his favor and protection for her and her family. The thing is, is that the promise the two made, for her to become wholly his in Ch 32ish, when they were 12-13 had changed over time.

The thing is, back when Rupert was 13. He had NOTHING for himself. He was an incredibly lonely person, who had no friends or family, and had no one he could trust. Lari knew that all he had was Louis - a military dog - and Tori, his close confidante. She quickly realized that he wanted someone to talk to - a companion. She was also desperate - she had nothing to offer besides herself. She's not strong, rich, has no political power, no knowledge. Typical of this society, for someone who had nothing - especially a female - she offered herself to him: Her body and soul, her existence to him. She will BELONG to him, one of his possessions. In exchange, he will protect her and her family from harm if they were to be accused of treason again. She gambles that the future Rupert will be reasonable, that he'll take their long friendship in consideration and not swiftly execute.

Despite knowing how suspicious she was, Rupert still accepted the offer because he craved companionship and a sense of normalcy. It's not like the weak Lari could ever harm him anyway. He just wanted someone not given/handed down to him by Eva to belong to HIM. He desperately wanted someone who was loyal to him, who wouldn't betray him - and the best way to ensure that, is for him to possess them so they won't betray him first. That's the twisted relationship the two shared. That's how their relationship started. Neither would have ever dreamed or expected how much the situation would change in just 5 years.

Rupert never expected that he would start to develop special feelings for Lari. Those feelings confused him so much: his rapidly developing feelings were so new to him, that he mistook "love" for "obsession". The stronger his feelings, the more jealous he felt when she didn't give him as much attention as she could've, he wanted her to confide in him, rely on him, talk to him as much as he wanted to towards her. He didn't know how to deal with this feelings: All he could understand was he "wanted her". he wanted to be with her all the time, he wanted her to stay beside him forever... Then there's the dilemma. All he knew of was the twisted "love" between the Emperor and Eva. He witnessed how Eva was broken down by that possessive, obsessed "love". The feelings he had for lari at age 15: he felt "similar" raw feelings like the desire to have her close and being intimate with her. But despite these feelings, Rupert was held back by the fact that he always knew Lari was scared of him, hated him even.

Knowing this, Rupe was stuck from the very start. He couldn't dare touch Lari because he was convinced the moment he inappropriately touched her, she would hate him more and run away secretly from him. He absolutely could not bear the thought of that. So he did what he thought was best - deny his feelings for her, act as if nothing had changed, and remind her that she belonged to him, to not run away.

But in doing so, those reminders caused Lari to worry, because she interpreted his fear as distrust, rather than him trying to plead with her to please stay with hm in the future too. During the debutante, Rupert finally admitted to her, that he was afraid she'd run away because she has no reason to stay. He wanted to reassure her that he'll protect her and her family as the soon-to-be Emperor to gain more of her trust, but he also had to tell her directly of his fears of her leaving. By that point, both Rupert and Lari knew that if she really wanted to, he wouldn't stop her from leaving. He couldn't. The moment he forces her to stay beside him, is the moment he will earn her resentment, fear, and hatred, the same things he's been trying to avoid since becoming crown prince.

Lari as well, thinks the situation will change. As a crown prince he doesn't have many allies yet, but soon, when he becomes Emperor, he'll be surrounded by lots of people and will form new bonds with them. Right now, he only has her, Tori, and Louis. As she's said for years, she won't leave him just yet, until he's happy. Otherwise he'll still be a lonely, sad Emperor like TL1. She at least, wants to stay beside him until he has more friends/companions to not need her anymore, and then she can leave and live her own life. She wouldn't leave before that though - she'd be too worried how he's doing. She still only thinks she's nothing special, and is just a person he trusts because of all the time they spent together. He may care for her a lot, but again, that's because of all their years together. After all, again, one he becomes Emperor he'll meet lots of new people, he'll be surrounded by those who want his companionship, the people will love him, and he'll be fulfilled that way.

During the separation arc, his decision to let her go so easily was already foreshadowed: he would never be able to chain Lari to the palace, to him. As much as he wants to selfishly keep her beside him, he can't because he loves her too much, and he cares more about her heart and happiness above all else.

It took him almost a whole year after the separation, but he realizes that as Lari doesn't hate him - or fear him- there's a spark of hope that maybe she'll learn to fall in love with him? that way, she can CHOOSE to stay beside him? He will no longer force or possess because if she returns his feelings, then she'll stay beside him and not want to leave either. Thus, by the time she returns to the palace, Rupert has already sorted out his feelings: he acknowledges them, his feelings for Lari, and instead of hiding away, he will seduce her with all his might and leave absolutely no doubt of his feelings for her. Maybe then, she will choose to stay beside him, but also keep her radiant smile as always :) So while their relation started off on the very twisted dynamic of Rupert "owning" Lari, in the end their relationship had reset during the separation. They were no longer master/maid. No longer fake Emperor/ fake Belois. They were simply Rupert and Lariette, and they redefined their relationship now as lovers. He no longer owns her - because he will NEVER cage her or limit her actions. She's simply Lariette. How dare he ever try to limit her actions.

[savagewildnerness]

I read all of the Vampire Chronicles as a teenager; some of the later ones, as they were released. I only ever reread TVL & QOTD as they’re my favourites (especially TVL which I have reread many, many times since then)… although I know when I was a teenager I also adored Memnoch the Devil & that was the only book I felt I wanted other people to read it too.

I think I never reread Memnoch because of Lestat’s existential questioning & the deep impact the book had on me & not long after I read it, my Dad died. It isn’t that I ever believed in God myself. My Mum is Catholic, but I wasn’t brought up religious & my Dad didn’t believe. But where I could have said I was agnostic till then, after my Dad died that was an absolute no for me. I had to know for certain what I believed.

And I think part of why Lestat is such a powerful character; The Character to me is that his reasoning underlay my personal development & so he helped me when I had to delve deep into what I believed in the most difficult context (when someone is dead, you wish you could believe in more, at least because it would give some comfort and so be easier… but I do not believe that. I believe when we are dead, that is it: utterly dead, dead, dead, gone.)

Anyway… I think I’m going to go through all the chronicles now. Not just my favourites. I don’t know: does it seem silly that when I do deep existential questioning or sink into dark questioning of my fundamental beliefs, Lestat is ALWAYS there with me? He is who I talk such matters over with, I suppose… and that’s despite that only 2 of the books did I ever reread till now. But Memnoch particularly had such an impact on me that even having never reread it, its impact is still the same now. Although I’m a bit afraid to reread that in case I don’t feel it the same now I’m not a teenager???

Well, TVL was actually the first Anne Rice book I read ever, but I am returning now to Interview with the Vampire for the first time since I was in my young teens & this page has just broken my heart. I was young when I first read this book. I wasn’t thinking about Anne Rice herself at all; only the book. I doubt I knew, when I read it about Anne’s own daughter.

But reading it now, knowing the context in which it was written, I hear Claudia’s challenge to Lestat & Louis “Which of you made me what I am?” as something veiled, but deeper too: Anne making her daughter challenge her & Stan (incidentally Stan was my Dad’s name too) as to why she had to die. (Not saying this was her daughter’s feeling in reality in any way ever, or even necessarily Anne’s intention. Only what I felt just now.)

Anyway - No wonder Lestat & Louis had to be redeemable, loveable, beautifully in love vampires by The End Of It All, in order to overcome this pain & trauma & the impossibility of the wrongness of death (that any soul can cease is unimaginably awful. Incomprehensible when that’s your own child & you have no power over it) that is surely impossible to ever overcome in reality, but which (o the joy of fiction), in fiction, these characters can be loveable, loved & they can be “redeemed”, they can be ok, they can endure & they can even become The Character eternally, just like their immortal selves for I am sure thousands of people, just like (you &?) me.

[gachagon]

Haru, Legoshi, and Louis are all the same

(spoilers for beastars manga)

Legoshi, Haru, and Louis all get along and work so well together because they're all fundamentally people who try their hardest to change the way they naturally are in order to "fit in" with the rest of society. They all do things that go against their "true nature" just so other people will hold a different opinion of them when they first see them.

And the main reason they ALL do this is because they are also all people who are immediately judged harshly just by the way they look from other people. Yes, the other animals in Beastars all have to deal with this as well, but with these three it's inherently different because the stereotypes that are being pushed onto them are unique to just their specific appearances.

People are afraid of Legoshi not because he's just a predator but because he's specifically a grey wolf. We notice that while there are other wolves in the school, none of them are really the same kind as Legoshi. He even pointedly sticks out when he's with them.

And Haru is a Dwarf rabbit but her white fur makes other animals think of her as some extra innocent small creature that needs to be protected by default. She's the only white dwarf rabbit, and multiple times throughout the manga when she's with men the one thing they comment on is her fur and how it's "spotless", how small she is etc, her black eyes. Features that are noticeably absent from the other dwarf rabbit girls. (and yes I am aware the others aren't rabbits)

And Louis is a stag deer, the literal embodiment of a "prey" animal that tries it's hardest to be tougher than the things trying to eat it. Louis has the advantages of being a deer with antlers, but just like real deer in the wild, he is defenseless without them. He loses whatever confident exterior that people presume him to have when he sheds the antlers every so often. People will always view him not just as a prey animal, but a deer. Animals known for the docile and weak nature, animals that will run off of cliffs if they're scared slightly. He can't let anyone ever think he's afraid, not even once, because once they see that he fears anything its a wrap. People will just go "well that makes sense he is a deer". And any accomplishments he's made thus far is just thrown out the window, it'll be obvious to everyone he was "always" faking it. (It's why he's so adamant about the play still going on despite his injury.)

All three of them do things entirely against their nature just so others can look at them in a different light. Legoshi purposefully makes himself seem small and as nonthreatening as possible to prey animals because he knows that just from the way he looks, they won't want to be his friend and will be wary of him right off the bat.

Haru sleeps around with the men who chase after her because when she's doing something that's not "innocent" she's not being looked down upon as some defenseless small creature that needs saving. No one will take her experience in life seriously, unless it comes to something like actual sexual intercourse. (She's even the one who 'takes charge' when she first meets Legoshi and tells him she's fine with being the one on top the girl knows to do okay.)

And Louis pushes down any fear he feels in favor of unwavering confidence and bravado. If he's afraid he just pushes through anyways and fakes it in front of everyone. He would rather die than admit he's even a little bit worried or even anxious in a situation. Louis ate meat in the company of lions because he didn't want them to think he was just some stag deer like his father, but something even above that.

And this is why they all have such a close relationship with each other. They may not know it, but they're all doing the same thing and can relate to the pains of having to change yourself not just because of what you are, but because of what you look like in relation to other people in your species.

[ca-suffit]

I've always felt like the accusations towards you and others who speak up about the things you don are confessions. It's weird how they always eventually jump to the idea that people are "pretending to be Black." Feels like a strangely specific thing to accuse a person of. Not saying this is the case, it just feels like a very weird thing to jump to of it's not already on their mind for specific reasons.

I intentionally hid my identity when I got here in order to expose how obsessed they are with this. These ppl aren't smart and use rly basic manipulation techniques, so the more u expose, the more they flop around doing the same shit anyway and proving my fucking point.

If u scroll down in this post, u will see showmey0urfangs jumping between white and black fans and the methods she uses to attempt and discredit both of them based on racial factors.

I have seen this fandom say that even the most obvious black accounts that post photos all the time are fake too. It's never about anything based in reality, it's a distraction technique. A fucking bad one.

I don't reveal anything about myself and I've never claimed to be any racial identity, ppl tend to assume I'm black just bcuz I talk about racism tbh. Otherwise, white fandom has made up an identity for me instead as a way to "discredit" me from talking about racism, as if u need credentials or a certain skin color to do this in the first place. Nobody cares about those posts either bcuz most ppl here *do* want to talk about race and this is the only place u can do that and avoid their weird "punishments." There hasn't been a real attempt at their stupid PSAs since I got here, do u think that's a coincidence?? It's just been stuff aimed at me. Poorly. Nobody cares about their posts and it annoys them so much bcuz they need an "enemy" to feel anything. Meanwhile, they're free to interact here at any time, nobody is blocked. They're just cowards and have nothing to say (off anon anyway). Personal attacks only!!

They also push hypocritical ideas all the time about how certain black fans are immune to criticism (when defending white fandom ideals), any black fans who speak up about racism aren't black anyway (I'm p sure in those first link screenshots, fangs is crying how hurtful it is to be told she's not "black" enough, but she's def told ppl they aren't black herself too soooo........), and they have every right to trash talk jacob and louis in antiblack ways bcuz don't u know black ppl deserve well rounded characters we can "criticize"??? aren't maybe *u* the secret racist if u think otherwise and call us out on this??

it's a US election year with a heavy racial element present now, so watch the shit politicians do around race (including pretending to be black online in order to push white agendas) and look at this fandom, bcuz it's the same dumb techniques. sometimes the accusations are projection but sometimes it's also just to confuse ppl who aren't aware of the layers to all of this. this is why keeping white ppl stupid to all the nuances of racism is the goal. if ppl don't understand the depths of a topic and are afraid to get "cancelled," it's easier to herd ppl into the warm embrace of white supremacy even more. black and brown ppl are routinely recruiting for this too bcuz of the fake assumption that there's safety in being one of the "good" ones.

[persephoneflouwers]

What things not conventionally accepted in the fandom do you believe about bg? We all have our own beliefs and I think that's totally OK. I like hearing things outside the box

I don’t think I’ve ever talked about this and quite honestly I haven’t read it anywhere. I think people too often divide Harry and Louis solo careers because they think they are on different stages, but with them I always apply the same logic. To me they go in tandem, like yoghurt packs alright? Like cherries. It’s the two of them or nothing (hypothetically either if they are together or not). It’s not a case I have a tag for them and it’s polar opposites lol I know people say they are their own people and I agree to a limited extent. They do what they have to for their careers and obviously they do what they can individually, but babygate is something else. It’s not a simple stunt. It’s not a stunt like the others. That shit is not something you just go through by yourself. I wouldn’t be afraid to say babygate is never one single individual call, never is Louis’ individually.

I want to take a few steps back to 2015. One direction is still at it, but rumours of the hiatus are on fire. You have 1 of them who’s been courted by the best in the business and your influential son since ages. You have a project for him. You have a plan. A vision. You take the frontman and you need him to be successful. You are going to invest so much money on this guy you’ll make him the new Elvis or something. You know you can. You’re rich enough for that! What 1D team did with his image was incredible. They gave him the most intriguing brand for an upcoming solo artist. They gave him the rockstar aurea, the heartthrob agenda, the golden boy super talented curriculum. They failed with one thing: the rumours on his sexuality. Not the ambiguity, you like the ambiguity. You can even use that ambiguity for his own good. You will (they did). Their failure was one and only: the rumours on your relationship status with your bandmate. You can’t have that. How’s it possible that the mortal enemies pipeline didn’t work? How can you break that? You can’t give your golden goose a serious relationship, a long lasting one… that’s going to ruin the brand. You need to think about something else.

So what if..? What if you rebrand his counterpart, who was in a 5 years long relationship instead and give HIM an even more long lasting stunt? That’s supposedly going to last forever? Like a baby*. That would settle it. How would you do it? How would you convince them to agree with this? You take 4 boys who know no better, who have been indoctrinated and manoeuvred since they were illegal of age, who are going to not be in a band anymore, who feel probably a bit uncertain about their future… and sell them a dream. Add some guilt and strong recommendations, maybe a few threats and lies. And there you have it. The perfect stunt that will serve two purposes: 1. put one of them in the heaviest of the closets (plus he was always a pain in the ass for you so you are even more okay with it), 2. set the other one free from those rumours. (Flashforward: they didn’t stop, but it worked well enough for them anyway).

I know what you are wondering. Why did Louis agreed to this? My two coins are he knew there wasn’t an alternative because in abusive places of work you are proposed with an option, but that’s the only option, which makes you question if that’s an option at all or just an obligation. Plus he saw a way to help their way out after the band and took it. If what he says about the hiatus is true (I have many doubts and questions but still), he was fucking terrified of it so when they come at you with a promise to make it go “better than”… he always felt responsible for the band, so he says anyway. I agree with you, reader! That’s manipulative, toxic, blindsiding, naive. Very naive. But the real thing is I don’t know the reasons behind and this is just me trying to look for a new perspective, because I dont 100% agree with the ones I’ve read through the years.

What pushed me into loophole was the timing of the babygate return. I know 2020 is a weird year because of the pandemic, but we literally started having babygate content in more or less July 2021 — does anyone remember what happened on Harry’s side in July 2021? Does yachtgate 2.0 ring any bell?. Anyway since then we had bg constantly. Remember the arcade date with the kid? That was August 2021! I have a timeline for it but I quitted with keeping up with it because it was too much at some point and now that we’ve seen it was literally made for the documentary it feels even more useless lol.

Isn’t it too coincidental it happened along with the holivia mess and the rampant success Harry has gained throughout 2021 and 2022? When babygate is around, there’s sony around. You cant simply distinguish the two things imo. And isn’t it too coincidental that the first time babygate happened was when they were going solo and the second time it happened huge as ever was when the above mentioned solo careers became insanely grand? Oooh the way we got the release of bg in the doc the same weekend of the Tokyo kiss performance!

What confuses me, though, is who is gaining from this? I mean Sony is for sure in a contorted way. I can see what team Harry is gaining from his stunts too. I say it often but his team always play to win, so if they agree to something they are going to get something. That’s their strategy. I don’t understand what Louis is getting yet. I see he is doing his own shit to be proud of: the tour, the new music, the festival, apparently even the doc. But my question is wouldn’t it be possible without babygate too? And we can’t know yet. I think Louis is cocky and stubborn and sometimes he has to hit his head against the proverbial wall before understanding what’s good and what’s not. But to this stage, it’s too soon to say. I want to see where babygate is going in the next year or so. It’s possible he has chosen to go with babygate instead of continuing with his beard, but then again it’s too soon to say. It’s possible he has chosen to go with babygate instead of agreeing with a revolutionary marriage. It’s possible he has seen twarries drooling over the kid and decided to feed that narrative. I don’t know where this is going yet.

All I know is this revolves around the two of them and it’s possibly one of the few things nowadays that make me believe they still are together. If they weren’t, we wouldn’t see this shit unfold again in front of your salads in the year of our lord 2023.

*not with his actual girlfriend of 5 years but with an American ONS. With no DNA test because you are sure your specimen is so very strong, you take it one for the bros and even if you’re worthy 60millions you don’t need to know if she is actually trying to take advantage of your fame. You are kind at heart like that. A gentleman 💪

Edit after tokyo kissing show.

[cosmicjoke]

Okay, bravo to AMC's "IWTV" for that last episode, for real.

The reunion between Louis and Lestat at the end had my heart aching in the best way. I didn't think they were gonna' make Armand THIS villainous, but damn, they went all the way, and they went a long way to redeeming Lestat from episode 5 of the first season, too.

Given Armand's deviousness that was finally revealed in this final episode, it shifts all of Lestat's actions from the first season into greater understanding, if he knew exactly how cruel Armand could be, trying to protect both Louis and Claudia from that.

And I finally, truly felt Lestat's love for Claudia, here, too, his breakdown with Louis at the end over her, how they both started crying and hugging each other. That was beautiful. I imagine, hopefully, we'll get to see more scenes of Lestat's and Claudia's relationship, without the coloration of bias that pervaded the first two seasons, to really drive home just why Lestat is so plainly heartbroken over her death.

I also really liked Louis kind of absolving Lestat of his guilt, here, finally admitting to his own responsibility in forcing Lestat to turn her, and admitting to how he wanted Lestat to be miserable because he was, too. I can see where they're coming from, with this angle, with this particular change from the books. Louis WAS miserable in the book, and in the show, and it was that misery that compelled Lestat to turn Claudia in the book. He was afraid Louis was going to leave him because Louis wasn't happy, and Louis was in denial about his love for Lestat, and withholding his love from Lestat on purpose. In that way, Louis holds a large part of the responsibility for why Lestat made that decision. So them just making that kind of more explicit here in the show, with Louis being the one to genuinely beg Lestat to turn Claudia, makes sense. To make more clear the reason Lestat did turn Claudia was, in large part, because of Louis' emotional manipulation of him.

Anyway, I'm sure all those fans that were talking about Louis' evil white oppressor Lestat, and how the beautiful Indian man Armand was going to save him, are all going to abandon this show now, because too bad for them, it didn't turn out that way, lol. Armand really came across as evil here, lol. I'm sure Armand fans aren't going to be happy about that, though lets face it, Armand is a pretty devious guy in the books, though always sympathetic due to his own, awful backstory.

I do wonder though about him turning Daniel and what the implications of that are for his and Daneils' relationship moving forward. The way they framed it makes it seem as if Armand turned Daniel to spite Louis for finally leaving him. Maybe it'll be another instance of not being the truth, and we'll find out Daniel asked to be turned or something. But as it stands right now, it's just an additional evil act to add onto the growing pile of evil acts Armand was responsible for.

Also, shout out to both Sam Reid and Jacob Anderson for their phenomenal acting in that final scene between Lestat and Louis. Ugh, my heart really broke when Lestat tearfully asked Louis about that day in 1973 when he tried to kill himself. When he asks "Did you hurt yourself?", and you could just see the devastation in him, the guilt and pain at not being there for him, and Louis tearfully confessing about what a bad place he was in, etc... ugh. This was definitely the most emotional I got watching this show. You could really feel the deep love these two have for one another, and it largely did away with my negative feelings surrounding the DV from season 1. You really get the sense here from Lestat that he never, ever would want to hurt Louis again, and I 100% believe that.

Anyway, like I said, a stellar conclusion to the first two seasons. I'm definitely looking forward to season 3 now.

[perfectnow-onlythebrave]

Favourite lyrics from ‘Louis Tomlinson’ Songs:

Disclaimer: I love all of Louis’ songs and think he is an incredibly talented lyricist. His lyrics often make me feel emotions I wasn’t expecting, and get me into deep spirals of thought.

Faith In The Future

All This Time: It’s not how you spend the time, it’s if you waste it // And I keep on building mountains hoping that they’ll turn to gold but the truth is I still doubt that what I do can get me home // Our eyes meet and I can tell that you’re the same as me

Saturdays: I’m gazing at the floor somebody’s got your trainers on the ones the ones that you wore when you walked out the door // We always used to say Saturdays take the pain away // Through my cigarette A shadow of you sticks me to the carpet // My heart might be broken but I won’t be broken down

Holding Onto Heartache: Creates the strangest feelin’ just slowly waitin’ for the end // The moments never shown to us because we faded into darkness // You know the parties over when you’re standing in an empty space alone // Nothing’s ever easy to be honest, I’m not easy on myself

Face The Music: Love and hate are in-between depends on your reality to see them // So one more night I’m gonna choose I don’t wanna face the music but I still wanna dance with you // Close your eyes and count to ten If you’re standin’ on the edge of fallin’ // Let’s buy some time

The Greatest: Said I had a plan for us time, it came and changed it all we had to disappear // Back dancin’ in the dark back to the very start finding pieces we can fit making up for what we missed // It’s you and me until the end life for us is never over

That’s The Way Love Goes: Remember when you told me I should give it time? well, here’s the chance for you to take your own advice // When it cuts you, when you bleed that’s when you’re feelin’ it the most // Not gonna ask you, but we’ll make sure your okay who cares? It’s her loss anyway

Chicago: They say, “bitter ends turn sweet in time” is that true of yours and mine? // Has it been long enough that you can forgive me? Just because it didn’t work, doesn’t mean it’s meaningless to me // ‘Cause I’ve been wondering what you’d say would you have told me to keep goin’? or would you say to walk away?

Headline: Sometimes, I wake up, and I hear you through the silence // You let your pride hide all your beauty and your kindness // So many reasons now you’re not mine // You never told me never I guess I never knew we’d have the shortest forever // Thought I could, but I can’t forget you

Silver Tongues: You said love was a pretty lie // you smile at me and say, “It’s time to to go” but I don’t feel like goin’ home // you say grass was a dirty drug you like to preach with a vodka in your mug // you and me until the end wakin’ up to start again

Angels Fly: There’s a time for sayin’ who did what where it went wrong, I wanna hear all that, but right now what I need you to know is // You’ll be okay, we can talk tomorrow I’m on my way with some time to burrow // I won’t say a word, it can wait ‘til morning // put the pain behind you now you don’t need it anymore // there were problems in this empty bottle at the bottom, but we drained all that (My ultimate favourite of FITF)

She Is Beauty We Are World Class: Conversation is currency shapes become language // Escape the inevitable fade into light soak up the empathy // Has it been all this before? Do you see what I see?

Bigger Than Me: When somebody told me I would change I used to hide behind a smile // I didn’t read the signs walking different lines I know I took a left trying to make it right // I was afraid, I don’t know why ���cause so does the world outside I’ve realised and it’s bigger than me

Common People: I Came from a good home A house full of terrace dreams that was enough for me // The mistakes and the heartaches when I get lost, I go back to where I started // I took head of the local no deep pockets, only big hearts do you see what I see?

Out Of My System: I never wanna go slowly I only wanna go faster towards disaster // I am only half of what I think I can be // I’ve lived a lot of my life already but I gotta get though the rest // I’m taking all of my demons puttin’ them where I won’t see them ‘cause I just wanna feel alive

Written All Over Your Face: A hurricane behind the door so, I’ve come ready for a war // When we’ve finished saying nothing can we, please, get back to loving?

Lucky Again: I see how hard you’ve worked to be yourself // But I figured it out, then made my way back to a life I would choose // Before the world, it got so serious before the time, it got away from us // Whatever get you through the darkest night just find the light out in the darkness, hold tight // I’m a hard man to find but you figured it out and I love you for that

Walls

Defenceless: “wish I didn’t need so much of you” I hate to say but I do // we’re sleeping on our problems like we’ll solve them in our dreams // And I can’t get inside when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove // And I’m too tired to be tough just wanna be loved by you

Only The Brave: Set fire to history I’m breaking my own rules // I’ve been close enough to touch but I never cared for love // And it’s only hello, hello, no goodbye. (One of my favourites from Walls)

Walls: The day you walked away and took the higher ground was the day I became the man that I am now // Nothing makes you hurt like hurtin’ who you love // For every question why, you were my because // So this one is a thank you for what you did to me why is it that thank-yous are so often bittersweet?

Always You: I went to Tokyo to let it go drink after drink but I still felt alone // Walked through the door but it felt nothing like home ‘cause you’re not home //

Too Young: I’ve been looking back a lot lately me and you is all I’ve ever known It’s hard to think you could ever hate me // Now we can finally have conversation that I wish we could’ve had before // Now I realise yeah, I realise we were too young to know we had everythin’ // It’a been two years since I’ve seen your face I’m trying to find some better words to say before I let this moment slip away

Two Of Us: This morning I woke up still dreaming with memories playing through my head // Even when I’m on my own I know I won’t be alone // I can feel your blood run through me you’re written in my DNA looking back in every mirror // We’ll end just like we started just you and me and no one else

Perfect Now: You don’t feel pretty and It’s hard to miss I wish you could see my point of view as someone starin’ back at you // Just keep your head up, love, keep your head up don’t hide away don’t ever change // I guess some queens don’t need a crown and I know why // You never do but if you asked me too I’ll tell the truth lying next to you // You make me feel like being someone good to you, even at your worst. (My ultimate favourite from Walls)

Fearless: Tell me, do you still remember feeling young? And strong enough to get it wrong // Now if happiness is always measured by the life you designed that car on the drive then you should feel better than ever but you know as well as I it’s all lies

Kill My Mind: And you hate me, and I want more // And ya won’t let go of you hold on me // Kept me living from the last time from a prison of a past life

Don’t Let It Break Your Heart: Life get hard and it gets messed up when you give so much, but it’s not enough // And what hurts you is gonna pass and you’ll have learnt from it when it comes back

We Made It: Now, we’re saying goodbye, waving to the hard times yeah, it’s gonna be alright, like the first time // Share a single bed and tell each other what we dream about things we’d never say to someone else out loud // Oh god, what I could’ve become don’t know why they put this all on us when we’re so young

Habit: I always said that I’d mess up eventually I told you that, so what did you expect from me? // I took some ‘cause I ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be // You gave me the time and the space I was out of control and I’m sorry, I let you down

Others

Just Hold On: Feels like you’re standing on the edge looking at the stars and wishing you were them // Where do you go when the story’s done? you can be who you were or who you’ll become // The sun goes down and it comes back up the world it turns, no matter what // It’s not over ‘til it’s all been said It’s not over ‘till your dying breath

Just Like You: But you only get half of the story the cash, and the cars and the glory // ‘Cause nobody cares when you’re boring // yeah, I feel the same as you do same stress, same shit to go through // I’m just like you if you only knew // Yeah, I get sad too and when I’m down I need somebody to talk to // Every heart breaks the same every tear leaves a stain can’t I just be same?

Back To You: These days I don’t even know myself // I tell myself I’m done with wicked games but then I get so numb with all the laughter that I forget about the pain

Miss You: Just one more pint of five does it even matter anyway? // Just like that and I’m sober I’m asking myself, “is it over?” // And all of these thoughts and the feelings cheers to that if you don’t need them // We can’t even be on the phone now and I can’t even be with you alone now // we were in love and now we’re strangers // When I feel it coming up, I just throw it all away get another two shots ‘cause it doesn’t matter anyway

Copy Of A Copy Of A Copy: It’s an old curse dreamers diving head first // Nothing is original there’s nothing left to say // I can hear you howling until your lungs hurt so let this be your comfort // In a strange way all in this together been this way forever

[pigtailedgirl]

Balance Beam

Jack Huey angry character piece. Late season 2.

Being a good detective requires understanding balance. The edge of your skills to push a confession or wait to pull it out. The quiet to study your perspective case or perp, or the voice to strike. Balancing not only what you see but trusting when you know and when you are choosing to act upon it. That's how you close, how you really solve and then can go home to sleep at night.

He can't find a partner who gets this, and his third scotch bottle means no sleep. He doesn't want another one of either anyways but now he's off balance and it's not just the liqour.

Vecchio keeps trying to be there, and it's only vaguely enough. It's not Louis. Louis was his balance. Louis was a damn fool and all mouth and emotion. Never walked into a case with reason. See, that was Huey's place in this partnership. That's how they worked. Louis it was always a hair-brained feeling and instinct or gut.

It was his gut that murdered him. Had to knock it to Vecchio and feed. “Let's get em back for taking our bust with a free meal on mister new first grade dick and no tip Jack.” Or honestly, it was because Louis liked Vecchio. Louis liked the two of them, the mountie and Vecchio, as much as he was jealous of the solve rate comparison. Louis' heart meant he cared when someone else was happy or hurt and he showed it.

It's why Jack tolerates Vecchio now. Didn't blame him for any of this. For Louis. For the similarities of the soul they were or are. Vecchio may be dulled in his emotional grief, but he's still like Louis with temper and passion, he at least cared and showed he feels it, even if it was maybe part selfish, and it tempers the dull ache left in Jack's heart that at least Vecchio tries to balance Jack, or himself. Jack doesn't pin this on Vecchio.

But Jack's happy to stick it to the mountie. Because he's the one Jack blames.

Oh he knows it too. Jack sees it in his quiet eyes. In the way he avoids the conflict and Jack now like the coward. Avoids Vecchio's fixes too, while now, *scoffs* now, turning to softness with Vecchio. No longer pushing there, like he's afraid to tip the scales and break it. So too when Vecchio is with Jack, he trails like a third wheel or keeps a wide berth, watching and desperate on the outside, and Jack likes it. And as Vecchio tries and trips and unbalances juggling the two of them, watches between them with sad distance thinking it's his fault, trying to fix and mend in guilt...well Jack gets his only emotional rise in his jealous pleasure of how it makes the mountie unhappy but the bastard can't stop it.

Cause damnnit if he's superman, if he's so right and just, why couldn't he stop Louis too!

So...it's cruel, but maybe Jack gets his reason or unreason to keep going in the unbalance he's caused them. In can't just mend with him in the middle. His loss is still theirs.

The mountie, Fraser, skirts the lines like he's done since he showed up in the bull and dragged Vecchio to his bosom and madness, but he can't drag them out of grief that easy. Especially if he won't own feeling it.

See, secretly that's why Jack hates him most. Will keep right on doing so, don't give me those sad eyes Louis! No, not for Vecchio either. Maybe one day the 27th will forgive and welcome the canadian back but not him.

Cause there is no reasoning loss. Jack knows it. Feels it for Louis now. And he can forgive Vecchios' feud, or Zuko's criminality, or even god help him Sorrento's planting the bomb, but there's no way it's reasonable or there's a way to justify the why and how Fraser. There was no justice the minute Louis died.

He didn't want it either. He wanted the entire gamed system to pay. Vecchio got that feeling right away. Vecchio shared it. Owned it too. Yet the mountie wouldn't let them... and he's still trying to reason out. Reason Vecchio back, even after when he came to willingly, and reason Jack. The stupid bastard!

Jack's not stupid. Like he said, good detective. Balanced or no, drunk or grief ridden. He wasn't... Louis wasn't dead when the mountie broke at the seems the first time, then pretended he didn't feel, that reason hadn't deserted him. But they let it slide then. For Vecchio's sake. They gave them the support, and held with and against. Yet now he can't give it to them back. Give it to his partner. Not even to Vecchio now.

Jack watches the mountie. He knows lying to yourself. No wanting to balance yourself, pretending with reason or booze when you can't take the hurt.

But to do it at the expense of your partner? No see, that was the unforgivable moment. Or all the moments he held Jack and Vecchio back in the aftermath but had reasons too good to hold on. It makes Jack wanna be sick. Or is that the scotch again? Mountie sandbagging indeed.

[twopoppies]

i think a lot of people in this fandom don’t like it when others have different opinions from theirs. so to cope with it, they take it out on the person. it’s quite sad, tbh. i agree with you, though. i don’t like some of the things h & l do, but that doesn’t mean i’m hating on them. there’s also nothing wrong with feeling a deeper connection with one of them. for me, i have a deeper connection with louis. but that doesn’t mean i dislike harry. people just love to cause drama for no reason. but do you want to know what i’ve always admired about you? you seem like you’re very good at holding your ground and defending your opinion. i aspire to be like that one day :)

Oh, I totally agree. I don’t know why people have such a hard time with differing opinions. Its not as if there’s only one way to be a fan.

There are people here who think if you don’t love each of them the exact same amount, in the exact same way, then you’re not a larrie and you’re “fake”. It’s so exhausting. And the stupidest part is that what these obnoxious anons are doing is making people afraid to be honest. So then you end up with a bunch of fans pretending they like things just so they don’t get nasty anons. What is the point of that? I want to enjoy my time here. So I blog in a way that I enjoy and that feels true to me. If you don’t like it, that’s okay. You don’t need to follow me or pay attention to me.

Anyway, thank you for that sweet compliment. It’s taken me a long time to get to a place where I know my opinion is as valid as someone else’s.

[policemanofprincesspark]

”You have to think like an anti too if you want to figure this out, because you need to go in with the mindset of actually trying to debunk the theory rather than prove it, because, if you're trying to prove it, it's a lot easier for a ton of bias to slip in, like ignoring contradicting evidence.”

This is my biggest problem with the fandom right now. Larry being real, specifically the fanfiction version where they are possessive and protective of each other and larrie fans who are the only fans they actually like between daydreaming about a sugary-sweet happily ever after involving their kids wearing 1D merch to the reunion tour, is treated as a given and all “evidence” involves working backwards from that forgone conclusion. X has to be true for larry to be real, therefore X is true full stop. Larries dismiss everything they don’t like as fake or something the boys were held at gunpoint to do if it doesn’t fit their narrative.

“Harry doesn’t actually want to be an actor, he’s being forced by management in order to make more money off his sex symbol image.”

“Louis doesn’t actually want to move away from a pop sound to something more rock, it’s management trying to alienate the female fan base to court straight men.”

Could these things be true? Sure, but most of the conversations around them don’t bring up any actual evidence of these arguments, instead falling back on “this isn’t the real them.” Which of course they totally know. Actual documentation and discussion of potential industry abuse is being lost in the slurry of fans’ coping strategy for their faves not fitting the perfect image they’ve projected onto them.

YES! I so agree with this. Okay, so, for example, there was that one phone call that was recorded by a fan where Louis was ranting about "all these crazy Larry fans" and asking them if they were recording. I saw SO many other larries literally saying it was fake and it was someone else's voice. I mean, listen, I can't say for a fact that it is his voice, but these people just immediately dismiss everything that they don't like or that makes them angry/uncomfortable. I understand there is a heavy emotional investment into the idea of Louis and Harry being victims, but, in reality, we don't know what's going on.

I am actually going to be working on a post about what I think could potentially be occurring instead of this idea of contractual closeting, by using an example of a gay couple who came out and had very distinct parallels to Louis and Harry. I mean, I'm never going to say I know the how's and why's of their closeting, but I don't think it's as straightforward as "they're victims of illegal contracts!", which is a theory based on a whopping load of nothing. I have seen Rebecca Ferguson and a few other past XFactor contestants who were on the same season as 1D in 2010 or around that time come out and talk about blackmail, coerced contracts, etc., so I don't think you can completely write it off as impossible. If I had to just make a quick guess, I'd say they were being pressured just like anyone else in the industry and that Louis might be scared to come out for some reason or another, and, since there is a lot of money involved concerning Harry, there could be some blackmail or coerced contracts like I said. Anyway, I have more evidence to back up different possibilities (they're just possibilities with some minor evidence, of course). I might make a post covering them all one day.

Here is a snippet of one of the posts I'm working on which talks briefly about Simon's dressing down:

Basically, there aren't any examples I can find of people in the industry being contractually closeted. It's always "I was afraid I'd destroy my career" or "I was afraid I'd be letting my managers/band members down and ruining their careers, and I felt a responsibility." So, if Louis and Harry are being closeted via illegal contracts, this would be an isolated case.

Now, do I think they both want out of the closet? Considering some of their obvious signalling and their "wink, wink" moments (such as Louis pointing at a Harry sign and yelling "yes!" or Harry singing "Lou" instead of "you" and immediately laughing), I don't think they are ashamed of their sexuality or that they enjoy pretending to be straight. But could there be some fear concerning coming out? It's quite possible.

(LET ME MAKE IT CLEAR THAT THESE IMAGES DO NOT REFLECT MY OPINION NOR ARE THEY TRYING TO SERVE AS A LEGITIMATE THEORY; THEY ARE SIMPLY POSSIBILITIES THAT I AM PUTTING FORTH, SINCE THERE IS MINOR EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT THEM)

Anyway, yeah. I'm tired of people stating their mere hypotheses as fact when they either have no evidence or very minor evidence to support them (like the contractual closeting theory; which... tbh, when larries act like that theory is fact, it kind of discredits us because it makes antis immediately dismiss the concept of Larry since contractual closeting isn't legal nor has it happened before, when we could just... not act like that theory is fact and instead consider other possibilities and quite frankly the more likely possibilities such as industry pressure or coercion).

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hello! How incredible was that episode! Every line had meaning. The acting. The heartbreaking characters & also - how funny it was at times amid all the horror!

Anyway, I wondered if you had any thoughts on where Lestat is? Armand, when first communicating to Lestat says “I won’t say a word.” What is Lestat telling Armand here about where he is or why he can’t come to Louis, I wonder…

Hey!

Right??? What an incredible episode.

Okay, so, no, I have no idea where Lestat is.

However, he is incapacitated.

IF Lestat would be able to rise/get out/come (whatever you want to put it) he would. ESPECIALLY after that last part. He screamed for Louis before Armand cut him off. He knows something is wrong.

I don't think Armand is channeling the dead, he just reaches out with the mind gift. Lestat described the maddening cacophony of voices in "The tale of the Body Thief", sifting through the voices to find someone is supposedly not the easiest nor particularly pleasant.

And yes, Louis must know Lestat is still alive - that particularly twist that he used this interview to make Lestat come and seek him out??? That took my breath away. Louis badmouthing Lestat on purpose. In the hope that Lestat would come and chase after him!!!!

As per the "anguished and terrified"... well. Remember what Louis threw into Armand's face there? "Did you want to lick my boots or chop my hands off? Is it the gremlin or the good nurse tonight?”

Like... think on that for a moment. "Did you want to lick my boots" - their relationship has been likened to BDSM by the cast, and obviously the put that into a certain canon level with this. "Or chop my hands off" - direct Nicki reference but ALSO - why would Louis bring that as an example??? HAS THAT HAPPENED??? "Is it the gremlin" !!! - "or the good nurse tonight".

The gremlin or the good nurse. Why would Louis need a nurse? Was he hurt before? Did someone chop his hands off and he needed a NURSE???? You know? Why would Louis use an interview without Armand present to try to facilitate a situation where Lestat would come and find him?!

Louis is, no matter their ever shifting power dynamics... at least weary of what Armand can do. At least the tiniest bit afraid of what might happen. And he has good reason to! Armand killed Claudia. I bet the trial will be beyond horrific. We see what Armand does to Daniel just (more or less) playing around. It speaks volumes for what might have happened with Lestat.

That is why he doesn't ask Armand to reach out. That is why he tries to brush off Lestat as "just his maker".

The trigger is and always was Lestat - for both.

I said it in another post, but after this? After this we cannot even trust what Louis tells us about anything prior to Dubai. Will tell us still. Oh, not all will be a ... meddled-with version. 80-90% will be true, as they said in that one interview. But the other 10-20%? Holy shit.

And so I think... I think that Lestat was at the trial (but not as in the sanitized version we will still get to see) and he was locked away. And I think after Armand did throw him off the tower, and he needed decades to heal. And this is where he is then, likely, still healing. Maybe he even went to earth and is not strong enough to rise.

I think that is where Lestat is in the 70s. Healing, maybe underground.

But I also think that we might not get to see this in this season. I think this season... we will get to see Louis' memories of the trial, aftermath and what happened after as he remembers it. Maybe there will be some shifts still. But I think all that happened between Armand and Lestat? Will be story of s3.

[rivraennwrites]

?

Ok so I don't really know what this is, it spilled out of me and had to go somewhere. It's like a weird, SPNPG thing about anger and whatever else, I don't know

Anyway, this needed to go somewhere and I hate using Wattpad now, so...

It's not really good to see parts of yourself in the kids you look out for, you know? You're their guardian something (angel, demon, hybrid in Louis' case because he's special) and you see them be angry the same way you were, how they don't like being angry but feel it nearly all the fucking time.

Two of them don't have the best relationship with their fathers, what with one being dead and the other being a general shitbag who would be better off dead and continues to unfortunately stick around despite multiple efforts from multiple people to terminate his life.

But it scares you because when you were angry, it would lead to violence and that led to an early grave. You know that if they end up going down that same road, any one of them, it would kill you all over again. It's bad enough you still feel guilty over your own death, I can't imagine when it'll be one of theirs, especially if it's before their time.

You can't control death, much like how you couldn't control yourself, your brain and your mouth when they decided to be angry, snap back at the people shouting at you for no goddamn reason. If you yell back, that's wrong and you're a terrible person, but why is it okay for them to yell at you in the first place?

You didn't do anything wrong but you are lumped in with the other so-called bad guys when they're mad, or you're the bad guy for rightfully getting the hell away from people like that because now you're ruining someone else's life. And they say it's okay and they don't mean it but if they didn't mean it, why say it in the first place?

The worst part is that it just. Keeps. Repeating. They have a bad day, take it out on you and you have to take it, feel your fucking anger and swallow it down, find a way to let it out that doesn't involve talking to someone, dragging people into your issues, remember last time when they laughed at you? How angry you were then, how much you wanted to break things or maybe even hurt someone?

And you wouldn't do either, you know that, but don't you feel horrible anyway? Don't you feel selfish and evil, like the very people who tormented you for your entire life? The very people you do not want to be like at all and yet are very much alike? It hurts, doesn't it, watching them go through the same thing and being unable to stop it?

That anger will stay with you forever, I'm afraid. It will burn in your heart and always rear its ugly head whenever you have a bad enough day, but you can live with it even if you cannot technically live anymore, and they will live with it too.

And it will not kill them, they won't let it and neither will you.

[apostlesoftheslavsblog]

A bunch of random headcanons I'm too lazy to make entire posts about:

-Konstantin is autistic while Method has ADHD.

-Eiben is also autistic, cus I said soooooo.

-Svätopluk is bisexual. He specifically likes older men because he has huge daddy (or I guess uncle) issues and no good way of properly dealing with them.

•He has a very one-sided crush on Wiching. Wiching is blissfully unaware of this.

-Johannes and Eiben are "childhood" friends. They met as teenagers, but they've known each other for way over half of their lifes, so I think that qualifies as more than just besties.

•Johannes did not show up for Konstantin and Methodius' initial arrival because he was sick. Eiben was too worried about his health to let him leave the house.

•Both Johannes and Eiben are good cooks, as they used to work at a restaurant in Venice when they were young. (Johannes will literally kill you if you attempt to break pasta in half.) While Eiben spent most of his time in the kitchen, though, Johannes usually worked as a waiter, unless there was too much people for the cooks to keep up without his help.

•Johannes is blissfully unaware of Eiben working for Louis the German.

•Johannes and Eiben once got drafted together. They both ran away. Eiben still has a scar on his shoulder from their brief time in battle.

•Eiben was still pretty short when he first met Johannes. Johannes loves telling Eiben about his sudden growth-spurt. Eiben does not love it at all.

-Despite his irritations with the other man, Wiching considers Eiben his only true friend.

-While Method's favorite student is Gorazd, Konstantin favours Kliment.

•Kliment never turns in his assignments on time. Konstantin always just sighs and tell him to try turn it in sooner next time.

•Gorazd always turns in his assignments first. He takes "school" very seriously. Methodius always tells him to loosen up a little, but he appreciates Gorazd's efficiency and dedication.

>Konstantin has a bad habit of doing everything last second. He often suffers sleep deprivation because of this, combined with the fact most of his free time is during night time anyway.

>He likes to sleep on Eiben, or in Eiben's arms. Eiben never objects.

-Rastislav is proud of and loves Svätopluk, but doesn't tell him in order to not "make him too prideful". This backfires pretty badly, as you might know.

•Svätopluk often wishes he could have grown up with his real parents.

-Johannes is transgender (FTM). Eiben is the only one who knows.

-Konstantin used to be afraid of riding horses at high speeds. Eiben helped him overcome the fear.

-Eiben is good with kids, and would like to be a father, but is doubtful of his ability to provide a good life for any child.

-One of the reasons Konstantin decided to go to Moravia was to finally be free of having to meet the demands of Michael the III. He was sick and tired of attending all those damn parties.

-Konstantin's first word was Methodius' old name, Michael.

•Methodius kinda got forced into raising most of his siblings. However, his favorite was always Konstantin.

>Methodius used to be very lively when he was younger. He had his fair share of girlfriends, too. However, he kind of grew out of it lol.

>Konstantin, on the other hand, was always a recluse, and absolutely hated the idea of being with a woman. When he came to Moravia, he was a virgin who had never even had his first kiss. People often made fun of him for it, but he was more annoyed than self-concious.

-Konstantin loves potatoes. Eiben prefers rice.

•They both like pasta.

-Methodius started balding post-Cyril's death.

-Konstantin has always preferred having long hair over short hair.

-Konstantin has mild dyscalculia, while Eiben has slightly stronger dyslexia.

•Eiben also needs glasses. He never gets them.

-Eiben is a bottom.

[renaissanceman5073]

How to Lose a Man in Ten Minutes

This is perhaps the most over used short article topic ever - but I can't resist. Women are great at giving each other bad advice about men. They are certain they are right because, after all, women know everything about relationships, right? Well let's see. Here are the things you can do, from a man's perspective, to ensure you will not get a second date with a serious man.

Now, I said "serious man," because I am assuming that you want to wind up with a man who's worth marrying as opposed to some boy just looking to get laid. Men are not afraid of commitment. A man is looking for opportunities to show you he is a gentleman. A man is looking for intimacy and will be a stable father to your children.

Boys are playing around. They are not interested in anything long term, or anything that might get in the way of their "personal freedom." They are looking for regular sex, but without any commitment. Boys don't want children and really don't want someone else's children. Boys will string you along for years because they can. Boys are all about the fun. Men are about romance, family and yes, sex. Chances are you want a "man," and not a "boy."At least that's what I am assuming for the purposes of this post. Here are the top ways to make sure a man will never call you back for a second date.

1.  Talk About Other Guys

This is first for a reason. Men require your undivided attention when you are with them. It is just the way we are built. If you're busy texting Nancy about how your date is going, you probably are not going to keep him interested. Likewise, if you're talking about your ex or what "my friends Robert, Jake and Louis" said the other night,  you are telling your date that he will have to share your attention with other men - maybe a lot of other men. 

So what? "I don't like the jealous types anyway." Here's the thing, it's not about jealousy. It is about respect. Men are always asking the question "does she respect me" while women are asking "does he like me"? As I said, a man requires your undivided attention when you are with him the same way you want his attention when you're telling him about your day. All you're telling him is that you come with baggage. And guess what? Most men will move on to the next girl. If a man knows after the first date that he will have to compete with a bunch of other men for your attention every day of his life, it's over for you. Life is too short.

2.  Talk About his Mother

Telling him outright that you're desperate to get married is probably a little worse, but at least he might respect your willingness to be direct. Talking about his mother, especially on the first date sends the same bad message as it would be if he talked about his mother to you on the first date.

3.  Lie

No one likes being lied to, but men really hate this in the dating context. It goes back to the "respect" requirements men have. Men are direct communicators. They tend not to shy away from topics that you might find uncomfortable. If you can't be straight with him, then he knows you probably don't respect him either.

Rather than making something up, be honest with him. "I'm not sure I want to talk about that," or "maybe when I know you better," are perfectly good answers to a topic you would ordinarily lie about. If he senses he can't trust you, then he will follow his gut and move on.

4.  Act Aloof or Too Cool

Aloof women who are too cool for everyone are very attractive, sexually, in a mysterious way - when you're a teenager. But, as men get to an age where they are looking for a serious relationship, they are looking for a warm, approachable, engaging woman to share their evenings with - not the cold, aloof femme fatale. 

5.  Sex on the First Date

He knows that if you're having sex with him on the first date, you're a girl that will have sex with other first dates. While most secure men really don't care about your sexual history, no man wants to feel like he's just another notch in your belt. You may get more dates, but he'll always put you in the "booty call" box instead of the "marriage material" box.

I know there are many many other things to discuss when it comes to dating, but I thought these were  less overused. Thanks for indulging me. 

Tomorrow: How to Win a Man in 5 Dates.