#anyway the reason i get so mad about the young justice cartoon is because it takes away the very soul of the team and i don’t like it

[i-am-church-the-cat]

No, my thinkpiece about how Tim, Kon, Bart, and Cissie are the unwanted children of justice league members and their bond over being ostracized by the people they’re supposed to be just like is why young justice is so singular compared to other superhero teams is NOT ready yet, sorry

[puppetwoman17]

So I see that a lot of YouTubers are getting around to reacting to the Young Justice cartoon. And that’s great! Like that’s actually great, it’s one of my favorite shows and I will forever chant season five in my head.

There’s only the teeny tiny voice in my head that keeps saying how bad it feels for Billy when his identity was revealed. I hope I’m wording this right. Cause I’m not saying I don’t absolutely love the show. It’s just…

Cause we never see the aftermath of the meeting in I think s1 ep22 where they choose who becomes a JL membrr(sry if I’m wrong). Like we know Billy gets to stay, but I just know it must’ve been hard to deal with teammates who didn’t trust him anymore. Who just see a kid. We have no idea what the relationship Billy has with the league was before the identity reveal. Who he was close with, who was suspicious of him, that sort of thing. We just know that after the reveal, everyone was really unsure of what to do with the magic child.

Imagine what was going through Billy’s head. The Wizard said he was worthy. Hell, the gods said he was worthy. And after years of fighting it, even he thought he was worthy. And then his heroes, his coworkers, push that all down and try to dictate his hero life. During identity reveal fics I also laugh at how they think they can stop his heroism when he’s the literal champion of magic. Like he HAS to be a superhero. You can’t just tell the Champion to quit.

You know what that does? That leads fucking Doctor Fate to your door. Zatanna. Specter. Hell, Lady Blaze. Even the beings who hate Cap know they need him. If they were to hear that some hero team from Earth was the reason for him to quit, they would go BALLISTIC.

Shit I went on a tangent.

Well anyway back to what I was saying before. We don’t see much of Billy’s relationship with the League after this episode. We do know his relationship with the covert team gets better, so that’s cool. But it just rubs me the wrong way how he was such an integral part of getting the adult and child worlds to collide and then they do this.

Idk that’s basically all I wanted to say. Again, I hope I worded this right. I love YJ, I just get a sense of dread when I see it😅.

ALSO ONE FINAL THING.

I am soooooo mad that season five isn’t a thing. Because I know this might be a stretch, but I just have a Feeling that they might’ve wanted to explore Billy or the Rock or whatever(cause of Black Mary, which, btw, I’m still salty about).

Every time, guys. Every time we could be getting something Cap related they just tbrow it out the window.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Review: The First Adventure! or Baby Donald Says Eat the Rich

Welcome back. I’d been looking forward to this one for some time in the hopes of getting one thing i’ve been waiting for.. sadly that thing didn’t come, we’ll get to that, but this was still a fun episode so let’s hop right in. Spoilers in a second but my tag is spoiler tagged soooo.  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We open in the 1960′s. Austin Powers just went into Cryo Freeze to prepare for Dr. Evil’s eventual return, The Marvel Universe was in full swing, a teenager in baltimore was battling racisim via a dance show, and Black Heron had just been caught by Agent 22, aka Beakly when she was young and just as gorgeous then as she is now. Heron once again engaged in her usual cartoonish supervillian, and now SHUSH has her.  Meanwhile in a nearbye room a young accountant by the name of Bradford Buzzard is outlining his plan for Director Von Drake: The way he sees it every time a villian costs chaos Shush “Wastes” billions causing MORE chaos to stop it without controlling things. He proposes taking over the world, weeding out the chaos and ruling from the shadows. Naturally, Ludvig isn’t on board with any of this and points out they aren’t super villains. It’s here this episode fully defines something about Bradford’s character. Back in “Let’s Get Dangerous!” when Huey called him a villain, he said he’s not one... at least from his point of view. It’s here, in his youth we get a clear understanding why he dosen’t think so: So far most people we’ve seen in the world of Ducktales take the chaos and insanity of the world in stride: Either just numb to it like most of the citizens, Rolling with it like Daisy and Violet, or diving straight into it like.. pretty much the majority of the cast, either for the love of adventure and treasure like the McDuck/Duck family, or for their own ludcrious ends like Glomgold, Mark Beaks or Magica. To them the world’s fine the way it is and there’s to explore, take or whatever.  To Bradford.. this is madness... he feels all these people are just a bunch of overgrown children, and in some cases actual children, are just making the world worse and worse until one day their going to break it. One day skill, intuition, wit, and knowledge just wont’ be enough. Someday Scrooge, SHUSH or whoever’s standing in the way of evil will fail and the world will fall. This simply can’t go on, and SOMEONE has to control this, someone has to take this world, shake the chaos out of it and MAKE it sane. Make it work the way it’s SUPPOSED to. And to Bradford that’s him. Someone has to, no one else will, so he will. To him SHUSH doing this is just the logical thing: They want peace right? Their fighting for good right? Then what’s better than making the world a utopia? Ending these conflicts and remaking it.  The thing is.. that’s not what Heroes do. As we’ve seen in various stories where the superheroes, the Good Guys take over they do improve things.. but at the cost of free will. At the cost of free thought. At the cost of their morals. They become what they were fighting all those years and have to bloody their hands and keep them bloody just to make THEIR world right. And that’s not Utopia, that’s a dictatorship. The example I always come to, even though there were ones before and after this including Marvel’s incredible Squadron Supreme maxi-series, is Justice League the animated series’ two parter, like most of their episodes really but that’s not the point, a Better World, about an alternate reality where Superman kills Lex Luthor after Luthor kills the flash and hte League take over the world. The thing is.. the world isn’t BETTER. It’s just crime free. You can sweep the chaos and the crime under the rug.. but your not making a better world, your just making YOUR version of it. No one person is a god even if they have a power of one and no one person can or SHOULD be able to decide what’s best for everyone. It’s up to each of us to MAKE the world better, to fight for a better world. That’s what Ludvig knows full well and what Bradford just can’t see. You can’t control the world, you just have to accept the things you can’t change like it being chaotic and change the things you can like injustice. 

Bradford however, who was hired as a favor to his grandmother, can’t though Von Drake lets him off with a warning.. and a laugh about an accountant being able to be a super villian. Bradford however realizes ther’es some truth to that.. he needs someone to teach him out to operate outside the law, and if SHUSH won’t take the world and remake it.. maybe it’s time someone else did.  So in the prison cells of SHUSH, which are conveniently empty outsdide of Heron, Bradford outlines his plan to her. To create a massive orgnization to steal the world and give it the order it needs. To combine their skills: Heron’s for grandeur and crime, and Bradfords for strategy and focus, to take the world. The Orginzation for World Larceny, or OWL, fitting bradford’s hatred for theatrics. Heron objects, adding an F for fiendish, and Bradford relucntantly agrees to get her on board, lets her loose and fakes like he just saw her escape. FOWL is born. And the world would never be the same. Cue credits and cue the rest of the review under the cut. 

After the opening we cut to 1994-5.. sometime around then as it’s hard to get an exact year, and that’s how the crew likes it. Point is it’s the 90′s, and Scrooge is.. busy running his company. We’ll get into the weeds of that in a bit, but this is a different Scrooge, one who while no less capable, has no thirst for adventure or drive. He’s not nearly as miserable as the Scrooge we saw back in Woo-Ooo but he’s still a much less complete man. Anyways alongside him for his planning is Duckworth, whose very much alive at this time, and who tells his boss his sister Hortense left something in his office for him.  To no one suprise, that thing is the twins, at the tender age of i’m guessing 10. Since your probably curious, Della is still voiced by Paget Brewster, just using a slightly different voice like the Triplets and Webby’s voice actors do. It’s just a bit more jarring here since unlike those characters, we’ve seen adult della and thus are used to this voice coming out of a grown woman. It’s not bad and I got used to it eventually but it was jarring at first especially since once again Donald has a completely diffrent voice ACTRESS doing his voice.  This time around it’s cristina valenzuela, of Miraculous Ladybug fame, who I know more for her song work and twitter than her actual work ,but am delighted to see her here and she does a terrific job. I genuneily did not realize it was her, and while not exactly like the late great russi taylor, it is just similar enough to work. 

So we get to see what the Twins were like when they were the Triplets age: Della is about the same, but with more of Dewey’s impulsiveness, and Donald, much like he’d be a few years and some dead parents later, is a bitter, grungey musician whose constantly on his guitar and railing against the man.. which is Scrooge in this case which is fair. Hortense left a note.. which bothered me as I genuinely expected her to show up and was majorly disappointed she did not. We are in year 4 of this series, season 3 and STILL no appearance of Hortense or mention how she died, as she and Quackmore are still alive by the end of this. Given she’s easily my faviorite part of Life and Times, this bothered me, and the only reason i’m not more upset.. is the clever way they wrote around actually using her. The letter she leaves for Scrooge explaining things is the same one Della herself used in the comic strip, and using a bit of the postcard she left in the cartoons, when leaving Huey, Dewey and Louie with Donald, down to the Twins having left a firecracker in their fathers seat, thus leaving him in the hosptial. As disappointed as I am my favorite Ginger is completely absent once again, this is a brilliant reference, and I have to give them credit for it, so it’s a fair enough trade off.  As for his “Angel Nephew and Niece”, Della wants to dive into adventure while Donald struggles to write a song, singing throughout the episode. It varies in tolerablity, though mostly due to the writing, Cristina is doing fine. Della however is disappointed to find her legendary uncle views his past exploits as merley a means to an end to get his fortune and now he has it he can just focus on building it in the boardroom. This is an intresting take.. and one I could easily have seen happening to the Don Rosa version seen in Life and Times. The Scrooge there himself saw building his wealth as the most important thing until his encounter with Teddy Rosevelt, who taught him experince was what mattered and the having isn’t as fun as the getting. It works for me: This is a scrooge who never got that lesson so once he got to be richest duck in the world, having achieved his life’s goal nothing was left. He’s not miserable like the Scrooge we saw at the start of the series, having lost his love for adventure after loosing his niece/daughter, and having lost his fight. This one has retired.. but because he likely just sees no point in going on. He’s the richest duck in the world, has a vast empire.. no amount of treasure is really going to add to that like it used to, and as he points out in a second Shush has tons of agents at this point to clean up what’s left of FOWL. He’s the man who has everything, so why keep going. It’s weird to see a scrooge without the hunger to keep going, but it makes sense when his belly is full. Without someone to get him to see there’s always another rainbow, he just stopped chasing them. Also a fun nod to the comics I almost forgot to mention is when hearing about the “Gift”, i.e. the twins, Scrooge dreads it’s another surprise party, a nod to life and times where Hortense threw Scrooge one that went.. badly and lead to their entire relationship collapsing. Though Donald did get back at Scrooge for screaming at his parents and Auntie Matilda

However his busy day is disrupted with a call from Beakly. They’ve found the last known cordinates of Captain Yellowbeak, but FOWL is on them and Scrooge is the only one Beakly trusts for this since they have a leak. Beakly is also director of SHUSH at this point, with Von Drake having retired or died or both at this point. Scrooge reluctantly accepts, while Della is excited at the prospect of a real adventure and Donald ends up sharing her enthusasim as it’d make a good song. Scrooge, naturally, has no intention of bringing them with him to their disapointment and leads Donald to sing another “Suck it the man song” which totally isn’t about Scrooge.... spoilers: It entirely is, he’s just a little dumbass grunge baby and I love him.  We then get a cute sequence of Della popping up in Scrooge’s Luggage and Trunk to try and convince him to let them tag along, before we cut to the Limo, driven by Duckworth at this point, which solves that mystery. Scrooge is firm in having his butler take them back and have them work with him and Duckworth’s fine with that.. but wants overtime, which is fair. Scrooge, being Scrooge, grumbles about not being made of money, proven wrong by gold spilling out of him. Though I do like the update of Scrooge’s classic cheapness when it comes to pay: INstead of barely paying his employees like a monster, he’s simply reluctant to pay extra if he dosen’t have to, and would rather drag two 10 year olds with him on a dangerous adventure than pay overtime, which tracks. It’s also clear if he had to he WOULD actually pay it, either due to legal reasons or his moral standards, he just isn’t happy about it. So he agrees, though he wants Donald to leave the guitar behind which.. given the most Donald’s been able to come up with is “Suck it THE MAN” and “This guy’s a greedy asshole”.. he’s extremely correct and when Donald tries to pull a “YOU CAN’T CENSOR ME MANNNN”, Scrooge just chucks it out of the car.  At the airfield while Della is excited like an rabid chipmunk, and genuinely thinks she can fly a plane because she’s played Outrunner 2.. which I have only vaguely heard of before now. And is apparently just a pc game where you run a lot so I genuinely do not get where Della gets piloting from that.. but she IS Dewey’s mother. So with that in mind the family take off and Scrooge explains what their after: The Papyrus of Binding. It’s a dangerously powerful magical artifact from Ancient Egypt that will make whatever’s written on it happen. The dangerous part is that it’s incredibly literal: As Bradford puts later in the episode, ask for unlimited power, it might zap you dead with a million volts, ask for infinite wealth, prepare to be crushed underneath it. It’s a nice twist on a Monkey’s Paw or Jackass Genie situation. Instead of either the source of the wish granting magic just being inherently evil, or some dickhead screwing with the hero.. it’s just an object that has no ability to interpret nuance, just like your phone with the goddamn autocorrect. It can’t judge intent or tone or meaning, it just gives exactly what it’s asked. It’s a thoroughly interesting concept. 

Something I really like about this episode is the fact it answers some little questions. While none were Hortense related, and I am still grumpy about that even with this coming out a good 17 hours after I watched it due to getting caught up with other stuff, it does have little touches that explain small parts of the lore: Who drove Scrooge? As just mentioned, Duckworth. Who flew scrooge? Paid pilots. Did he have a plane before the sunchaser? Yup. It fills in some small gaps in the world. Stuff we weren’t dying to know but’s stil lintresting. Said pilots in this case however are Heron and Bradford. This episode also fills in Heron’s character, as while we’ve already seen bits and pieces this season she LOVES being a classic, take over the world james bond type villian, like she stepped out of a duck version of kim possible.. and i’m just now realizing there probably IS a duck kim possible somewhere in this world as while far after disney afternoon, it fits too neatly to not be wedged in there with your tailspins and goof troops. I wouldn’t be suprised if there were brid versions of every human based disney afternoon and one saturday morning show. My.. my head’s swimming from this. I could be, and probably am wrong but the sheer idea of this... it’s amazing.  Back to Heron, she just LOVES being evil and destructive, letting the world know she exists and operating on a grand scale. Now we’ve seen more of her while she’s Beakly’s nemisis.. she’s really an evil scrooge.. yes another one. Like Scrooge, at least how he normally is,  she simply gets how the world of Ducktales operates and can take advantage of that to the best of her ablility. Just like adventuering, cartoonish supervilliany is about risk and reward.. sometimes you faceplamnt hard, that’s the risk, but the rewards and rush is worth it. She’s as addicted to grandoise villiany as Scrooge is to adventure by this point. And like Scrooge, and unlike her partner Bradford, she sees the world as it is: Chaotic and one big sandbox to play in. She contrasts Scrooge by the fact that while Scrooge is willing to bust down doors, he still has morals, as well as the wisdom to not go overboard Heron often lacks. It also makes her a good contrast ot the equally skilled Beakly: While Beakly is taciturn, controlled in all things especially her emotions, Heron is bombastic, gloating and borderline insane, and while deadly in a fight, dosen’t exercise any control in her plans, preferring it big and loud despite her partner usually being right about reiging it in.  So Heron evacuates dramatically, taking a grumpy Bradford with them, and sending the plane into a tailspin. 

I can’t wait for Next Year’s Tailspin episode. I swear to god. I’m hoping for Shere Kahn but this episode has taught me to be okay with disapointment, if a grumpus. Della however shows her natural talent and despite having no real experince with planes, lands it gracefully. While that’s going on, Bradford berates Heron for her plan, pointing out that they COULD have simply landed the plane, then captured the McDuck family and executed them quitely, versus leaving a chance they’ll survive which they do. They AREN’T supervillains.. or at least he thinks he isn’t. Heron does show off her competence though, pointing out that this way they can simply stay low, and FOLLOW the Ducks to the treasure. Bradford is impressed for a second.. till Heron’s evil shows as she plans to use the Papyrus. Bradford loudly objects to this, listing the possible risks shown before. If not used CAREFULLY, it could kill them, and she balks and wants him to just embrace being the Villian already. It’s what I love about their dynamic set up here: While they are equals, Bradford is a better strategist, able to think and plan way in advance, and prefers subterfuge, and if present day is any indicatoin probably used Heron’s flash to distract from the real mission or goal often or to do something on the down low while she kept SHUSH busy. His last two plans, while again requiring some pizzaz, relied on misdrection: having the ducks take care of an immidate threat like their used to.. while he gets exactly what he wants while their busy and whatever they get out of it is either nothing (Impossibin) or something he couldn’t use just yet and thus if he didn’t get it, no loss, but if he did it just moves up the timetable. Not only that but he’s outlasted all three other big bads, lying in the shadows till it was too risky to leave scrooge and play and even THEN, only coming out into the open when forced out. IT’s why he’s Scrooge’s most dangerous opponent: He knows how Scrooge’s other enmities operates as well as Scrooge himself. And since he knows everything he can maneuver Scrooge exactly where he needs him to do exactly what he wants. It’s unknown how the family will beat him, but he’s easily the biggest challenge they’ve had. 

But back to the show and the past, Scrooge bonds with his niece and nephew, retelling stories of his past as they get closer, with Donald ending up high at one point and thus seeing the ship stranded on a mountain. As he recounts a fight with El Capitan, the villian from the ducktales 87 pilot, he counts the story as as a loss: He didn’t get anything from it, no treasure no new contracts. But Della shows him the point he’s been missing; He got a story. Sure he lost.. but he got experince, a tale to tell and a legend grown.Just because you don’t get everything dosen’t mean it wasn’t worth the experince and you can’t hold it in your heart. And this episode shows why this scrooge needed his family: Without Teddy to mentor him, he simply never got that adventure wasn’t about gains or what you get.. it’s about the thrill of it, the enjoyment of discovery and the memories you make.. it’s about the Journey not the destination. 

As Scrooge starts to warm up to that, he finds a gap, with Della volunteering Donald to jump but Scrooge just having the kids hop on his back and pogo caneing across. The family find the Papyrus, and find out why the ship is all the way up here: Captain Yellowbeak, who’s a character from one of barks stories and the one who had the scroll last, wished to escape.. but that just stranded them. He asked for water.. and it drowned his crew.. and finally with the document hteir reading he asked for release... and thus is now a skelington. The kid are happy to have reached the goal.. while Scrooge is back on his Zack Morris phone trying to reschedule things and schedule a SHUSH evac, to the kids annoyance. However Scrooge raining on their parade gets interupted by Heron and Bradford, as Heron can’t resist popping out dramatically and Bradford is UTTERLY furious since she blew his cover, and Scrooge recognizes him from his christmas party, a nice callback. Scroog being scrooge figures out he’s the mole and Bradford runs , furious at Heron. Their conflict is an intresting one: Both have a point but both will not back down. Bradford is right this showboating nonsense has only hindered Heron’s plans.. and Heron is right that Bradford needs to accept he’s the bad guy. Even if he has well meaning motives, he’s the villian, he works with them, he leads them.. he is one.  He just can’t accept he’s wrong or dosen’t have the answers... huh.. I wonder who that reminds you of. And that’s 100% intentional as Frank has outright compared Huey and Bradford and like last season it’s neat to have the main vilian contrast our chosen Duck for the season. 

Heron outfoxes the kids and gets the papyrus and being just an enitrely black hearted bitch, plans to kill them just to spite scrooge.. writing that “his sidekicks will perish on this mission.”.... but Scrooge’s character development, and her choice of words, means nothing happens. As Scrooge outlines, “Their not my sidekicks their my FAMILY, and this isn’t a mission, it’s an ADVENTURE”. Scrooge has finally accepted his life for what it really is.. and the thrill of the chase over what lies at the end. There’s always anothe rainbow.. and he’s finally become the man who will chase every last one. 

OF course this is interupted, and Heron escapes with the papyrus, when a skeletal pirate attacks.. why is Yellow Beak alive, why’d the scroll do this?

But we get a neat fight as Scrooge fights the skeleton while he sends the kids after Heron. Scrooge gets a cool looking swordfight, while Bradford gets the papyrus, and Yellowbeak even terrifies me what with his bestial roll and fucking centepede crawling out of him.. jesus those things freak me out.  Meanwhile the kids battle Heron, who throws della overboard... and thus for the first time, Donald taps into his beserker rage, snikty snoink, and easily incapaciates the more experinced and fully grown adul, though Della since we’eve been following her kids for the past three seasons, is fine, if suprised by her brother being the goddamn wolverine. 

While heron is out for a second, Scrooge heads after Bradford, and vows to tell Beakly and chase him all across the world. However Bradford gets an utterly awesome moment.. he admits scrooge may be right and probably would.. but since he has the papayrus and is careful in everything he writes his request carefully and perfectly “As far as the ducks are concerned, I was never here.” Grante dit COULD have left scrooge out.. but since he didn’t sday duck family or specificy, and likely knew it’d do that, it instead just means the three bilogical ducks. Bradford dissappears, turning invisble and leaving the papyrus for scrooge, who foils heron by simply writing that this scroll will be lost until one day found by his heirs.

So Heron takes a fall and looses an arm, again.. or for the first time.. the family is triumphant and despite loosing his goal, Scrooge is convinced he and the kids will find it again. See above. Scrooge then pulls out his phone and tells Duckworth to rework his schedule.. but it’s so he can find someone to run his comapny so he can spend more time with the kids. As for why Hortense would allow this before her still mysterious passing.. i’m guessing A) she notices her brother is happier and more alive than he’s been for a while and B) they just blew up their dad’s ass with a firecracker, and she won’t be able to use it for a while, so she’s double mad, so if it means she gets a moment’s peace and is with someone she trusts.. why not?

So we end on Scrooge packing up, preparing for further adventures.. i’d love a spinoff of this one day. I mean Disney plus needs it, and since Frank is probably going over to Darkwing.. maybe matt could take a crack at this. Just saying. You have the cast ready, a giant world to explore, and 15 years worth adventures. Run that baby damn you! But yeah the inevitble happens and Bradford further proves his magificent bastardry.. by appling for the position of running the company as head of Scrooge’s board, and setting up said board. So now FOWL has unlimited resources, he has a direct eye on what he now realizes is his greatest threat, and the complete trust and faith of both Scrooge and Beakly. It also puts Beakly’s breakdown in context: We now see WHY she went as far as she did: While the revelation was bad for Scrooge, finding out one of his most trusted allies was a traitor the whole time and knew everything about him, for Beakly.. it had to be worse. Finding out one of your best employees, one of the FEW people you ever trusted, and someone you DIRECTLY RECOMMENDED TO SCROOGE, was not only the man who set up your greatest enemies, but had compromised your organization for most of your career. IT’s no wonder she broke down so hard.. while I already gave several reason adding “This level of betrayal and self doubt to the list” only makes it that much harder on her. But for now a partnership is started.. one that very well may end scrooge. 

Final Thoughts: A pretty good episode overall. It’s well paced, to the point I probably forgot a LOT, has some good jokes, and fills in a lot of the gaps in the lore, while giving us a nice insight into bradford and heron. Even without hortense this was a pretty good episode. 

Upcoming Reviews: LIfe and Times; Master of the Mississippi Ride of the Three Cabbleros: The Three Cablleros (House of Mouse) Tomtrospective: Lava Lake Beach

[brokaw22]

A Displaced Red Robin Chapter 18

Title: A Displaced Red Robin Author: Brokaw22 Disclaimer: The norms Rating: T Story Synopsis: Tim gets transported to the cartoon Young Justice world, and he's not sure he knows how to deal with it.

AO3

ff.net

The distinct sound of hushed voices registers only a moment before the realization that this room is far brighter than the one that he remembers passing out in. Tim doesn’t understand what that implies at first, but then he recognizes the feeling of soft sheets, the pliant mattress, and plush pillows underneath him. He has no idea why they bothered to move him out of the cave and upstairs, but Tim has certainly awoken in worse places.

 He keeps his eyes closed, to avoid straining them with the light, and tries to focus on the murmured voices. Tim can discern Dick’s voice almost immediately, but he’s nearly caught off guard by the realization that Roy is with him. Tim lies still and keeps his breathing even as he listens. “Look, Dick, this isn’t your fault, and Red wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.”

 “No, you don’t understand.” Tim can hear Dick pacing, but it takes him a moment to realize that the reason his gait sounds so odd is due to the fact that Dick is walking around on his hands instead of his feet. Tim would smile if he couldn’t practically feel the tension in the air. “This is definitely my fault. I’m the reason that he got stabbed in the first place, and now I’ve exasperated his condition. He should hate me. I know I do.”

 Tim’s relieved that he’s propped up on so many pillows. The idea of having to force himself into a sitting position makes his chest burn. He blinks his eyes open, and then instantaneously groans at the sunlight streaming through the large window. “I don’t hate you and you shouldn’t either.” Speaking is a bit more arduous than Tim anticipated, but it’s also a necessary evil if Dick is going to insist on brooding like this.

 They both rush over to his bedside, and Tim is extremely grateful that Roy stops Dick from leaping on top of him. Though, Tim does have to admit that he is genuinely stunned when both of them grab a hold of his hand. “How are you feeling?” Dick’s clutching onto him as if he’s some kind of lifeline.

 “Do you need anything?” The two of them are speaking over each other and Roy’s voice is dripping with a desperation that Tim, quite frankly, doesn’t understand. His condition shouldn’t have scared them this much. After all, it’s an occupational hazard.

 Tim works himself up to respond while he simultaneously attempts to process their fussing. He’s starting to wonder if he wants to ask how long he’s been unconscious or how far his recovery has been pushed back. However, with the expression on both of their faces, he figures that there are more pressing matters to deal with first.

 After all, Tim’s certain that he can ask Alfred all of those questions later. Besides, it’s not as though the answers will change anything. He knows that he’s going to be stuck on bed rest for some time, and then monitored for the duration of his recovery as he slowly works up to his normal amount of activity again… no matter how inconvenient it will be.

 “I’m okay for right now.” Tim refrains from taking a deep breath, knowing exactly how much pain that will cause him. “Not that I’m ungrateful for the concern, but what is Red Arrow doing here?”

 Roy rolls his eyes as he pulls a chair over to sit down. “You can drop the codename. I already know that you know my name, and I think we’ve grown close enough that you can use it, and maybe give me yours.” He gives Tim a hopeful look, which Tim pointedly ignores. Roy doesn’t push it, but Tim honestly wonders how long he can get away with keeping that particular secret. “Anyway,” Roy starts again before Tim can say anything on the matter. “I just wanted to check on you and Dick, so I did what any reasonable vigilante would do and put my skills to work.”

 “By which, he means he tried to sneak past our security and I had to talk Bruce into letting him stay.” Dick grins mischievously and gently nudges Tim. He knows that it most likely means that Bruce had every intention of letting Roy stay either way, but that only baffles Tim more. Everything that he’s learned about this Bruce has left him with so many questions about his own in regards to when Dick was younger. However, most of them are questions that he’s not entirely certain that the answers are necessarily something that he wants.

 “Well, I’m glad that you’re here, Roy.” It feels weird to say the name out loud after so long, but Tim does have to admit it gives him a sense of normalcy after everything that has happened. “I was hoping we could discuss Superboy’s training some more. I don’t want the team suffering just because I’m grounded, and I really need someone to encourage Superman to actively help out a bit more.”

 Roy shakes his head. “I’ve got that handled. Black Canary and I are working with the whole team, so you don’t need to worry about it. Superman has been making real strides toward helping Superboy, and the entire team has been training even harder since your injury. They’ll all be just fine until you get back on your feet, so the only thing that you should be doing is resting and healing.”

 Tim wants to argue that he’s not exactly adept at simply resting. After all, there’s still plenty that needs to be done, but he already knows no one in this room is going to listen. He glances over at Dick, who has been suspiciously quiet for the last couple of minutes, and notices that the boy seems abruptly rather sheepish. Tim narrows his eyes as he stares the boy down. He has a feeling that he’s not going to like whatever Dick has been reluctant to share. “What’s up, Dick?”

 Dick immediately begins nervously rubbing the back of his head as he shifts from one foot to the other and back again. “So… um… I… uh… I wanted to tell you something. I kinda enlisted Roy’s help with our other project.”

 Tim doesn’t know how to react at first. There’s a moment when he just freezes while desperately trying to figure out why Dick would enlist anyone’s help with Jason, especially after Tim explicitly told him not to involve anyone else. “Why?” It’s the only thing that Tim can force out past the mounting rage and dread, even though there are about a thousand other things that he wants to say. However, Tim is well aware that what he’s thinking is rather unhelpful at the moment.

 Roy tightens his hold on Tim even more as he all but shoves Dick to the side. “It wasn’t his fault. I wanted to know the full details about what had happened to you, so I tracked Dick down last night while he was in the middle of addressing your little side project. It wasn’t easy, I might add, but… well, I know Dick pretty well. Anyway, after he left, I sorta insisted that he fill me in. I don’t know all of the details, but I’m willing to help.”

 Dick stares at him wide-eyed and pleading. It’s an expression Tim usually only sees his own brother utilize when he’s trying to steal Tim’s food. It’s a little jarring to see it now. “Don’t be mad at, Roy. It’s my fault. I should have been more careful.”

 Tim breathes a heavy sigh and suppresses the wince from the action. Dick’s right, of course, he should have been more careful. After all, they’re both rather lucky that it was Roy who caught Dick while he was meeting with Jason, especially considering all of the other possibilities. Tim has a feeling that none of Dick’s actual team members would simply just go along with his plan, even if Tim has done nothing but help all of them since he arrived here. Not to mention, the last thing that they need is Batman’s attention.

 Still, Tim is rather grateful that Roy is willing to help them. After all, he may just be the perfect person for the task. “I’m… I’m not mad. I was just concerned, given the circumstances. However, I think Roy’s assistance will be instrumental in our ability to move forward. After all, I think having a way to get information to and from the source without either of us being involved may be the best way to operate for the time being, especially given the current circumstances.” Tim gestures widely at himself, before continuing. “That is, of course, if you’re willing, Roy.”

 Roy simply shrugs. “I already said that I was, didn’t I?”

 Tim smiles a genuine grin for the first time in what feels like forever. Finally, something seems to be going his way. “Okay, so if you can make visits to our mutual friend in my place, it’ll give him even more support and take some of the responsibility off of Dick’s shoulders. Remember staying off the grid is our top priority here, so if you two can get me some hardware I can make us a few communication devices that aren’t connected to certain sources.”

 Roy stares at him for a long moment before shaking his head. “That sounds suspiciously like work, and I really don’t think that any kind of work is good for you right now. I believe multiple people have emphasized how much you need to rest. I may not know you exceedingly well yet, but everything I do know has led me to believe that actually resting is not your specialty.”

 Tim restrains himself from rolling his eyes. “I assure you, giving me something to do that is constructive is in everyone’s best interest if you actually want me to take it easy.”

 Dick and Roy glance at each other before Dick shrugs. “He was raised by a Bruce. Maybe it is for the best.”

 Roy rolls his eyes before nodding. “Fine, fine, I’ve seen enough to know that he’ll probably just sneak out and injure himself worse, given that he doesn’t exactly take actual breaks back at HQ.”

 Tim wants to argue. He really does, but he also knows that he doesn’t exactly have any supporting evidence that won’t work against him here. “No reason to risk it, honestly.”

 They both just kind of stare blankly at him before shaking their heads and Roy raises an eyebrow at him. “Shouldn’t you at least pretend to disagree with us?”

 Tim shrugs. “Would either of you believe me?”

 Neither of them hesitates before answering. “Absolutely not.”

 They break into laughter before Roy declares that now that Tim is awake they’re going to have a movie marathon. Tim doesn’t even get a chance to object before the other two are rushing around getting everything into place and settling themselves down beside him with pillows practically suffocating him on all sides to keep him from jostling his injured chest. It’s warm… nearly too warm, but Tim finds that he doesn’t actually mind for once.

 The break from literally everything -- no matter how forced -- is actually rather relieving. Tim feels as if he’s been going nearly nonstop since long before he landed in this world. He’s almost forgotten what it’s like to just sit still and be with the people around him without a thousand plans running through his head or a fight brewing just below the surface.

 He breathes calmly without having to force himself to merely appear that way for what feels like the first time in ages. It takes Tim a moment to realize that it’s not just the forced relaxation that has him leaning just a little heavier into the pillows with a small grin on his face, but the fact that for the first time in so long Tim isn’t braced for an attack, another fight, or just desperately trying to fix something that truly has nothing to do with him.

 He doesn’t know how to feel about the fact that he hasn’t felt like this since some time before he became Red Robin. Tim wonders if once he returns home if he’ll ever be this relaxed again... that is if he manages to return home. He knows that it’s probably unfair to assume that, even if he does make it home, he most likely won’t ever capture this feeling again, especially given that it’s his fault that he can’t be more relaxed back home.

 After all, Dick has made great strides with Damian. Tim is utterly certain that their relationship has only strengthened since Tim’s disappearance. Not to mention, Tim is well aware that his friends would gladly drag him into a movie night and rant fest if he would just let them, but… well, things like this just always seem out of reach at home.

 After all, there’s always something to be done. There’s always some mission that specifically Tim can do. It’s true that, while it may not be a task that only Tim can do, it’s usually some undertaking that Tim is more than capable of accomplishing, especially when no one else will do it.

 Tim thinks that perhaps he should focus on other less distressing things, especially since the other two are chuckling about something that Tim has completely missed. However, he’s honestly too exhausted to force himself to participate right now. Besides, he’s certain that the other two haven’t even noticed his waning interest.

 Still, he’s starting to think that perhaps his lack of contribution may be allowed or even anticipated by now. Especially since his lack of enthusiasm doesn’t seem to be dampening the other two’s enjoyment one bit. Tim’s relieved that for once he seems to be able to keep his less than pleasant machinations from disturbing the people around him. It feels as though he’s finally managed to do something right, even if Tim knows that he’s taking a victory where he doesn’t necessarily deserve one.

 Abruptly, Tim’s thoughts derail when there’s a gentle knock on the door. He turns as much as the mountain of pillows around him will allow and spots Bruce slowly pushing the door open while simultaneously carrying a tray laden with various cups and bowls. He honestly was expecting Alfred, given the tenderness of the interruption. It takes every ounce of Tim’s training to suppress his bewilderment.

 He contemplates what it says about him -- or perhaps, what it says about his current situation back home -- that Tim’s immediate reaction to seeing Bruce is to ponder what he did wrong. He doesn’t think that he could have possibly done anything to draw Bruce’s attention, and Tim certainly doesn’t believe that he could have done something to make Alfred feel as though he needed Bruce’s attention, so he has no idea why the man is here.

 However, since neither Dick nor Roy seem even mildly surprised to see the man; Tim assumes that he’s probably the only one acting peculiar. He supposes Bruce’s presence is completely commonplace for everyone else, or, at least, it seems that way. “Good, you’re awake.” Bruce sounds genuinely happy, which normally would have Tim raising an eyebrow, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Tim’s normal reactions don’t always make sense or even apply in this world. “I brought your medication.”

 Tim merely nods as Bruce sets the tray down on a nearby desk. At least, he now knows that he wasn’t unconscious, nor anticipated to be unconscious, for an unreasonable amount of time. At least, that doesn’t seem to be the case if they expect Tim to actually swallow pills.

 Bruce hands him a cup with a few very familiar-looking pills in it. Tim stares at it for a long moment before ingesting the medicine. He wonders if Bruce has caught on to the one thing even the team and Black Canary don’t know that he’s been doing at the HQ for the past two months.

 “I presume I don’t need to tell you how important it is for you to take all of them, given your lack of a spleen.” Bruce gives Tim a very pointed stare as if he expects Tim to argue. He knows that he hasn’t exactly made the best impression with this Bruce, but Tim would think by now Bruce is aware that he’s not a complete idiot.

 Tim nods as Bruce hands him a glass of water. Roy shuts off the movie before Dick turns to him with a wide-eyed expression. “Wait, you don’t have a spleen?”

 Tim shakes his head, but before he can respond Roy jumps in with another question. “Aren’t spleens kind of important?”

 Tim shrugs the best that he can without jostling everything. “It’s not like I can’t live without it, obviously.”

 “True, but you need to take low-dose antibiotics regularly.” Again Bruce is giving him that pointed glare, and Tim suddenly finds himself wanting to insist that he’s not a moron.

 “I know and I was.”

 Before Tim can say another word, Bruce takes the now empty glass from him and places a warm bowl of soup in his hands, and gestures for him to eat. “I’m aware. Just know that there’s no need to take them from the HQ infirmary, hack the system, and change the automatic refill order, even if it is impressive. I’ll get you anything you need. There’s no need for all of this secrecy.”

 Tim wants to laugh, but he knows that none of them would respond well to it, and that includes his own injuries. Still, a Batman -- any Batman – claiming that there is no need for secrecy is hilarious. However, before Tim gets a chance to respond Dick and Roy both have a hold on his hands and are shaking him slightly… not enough to hurt, but enough to be noticed. “You were doing what?” Dick’s voice sounds absolutely exasperated.

 Roy shakes his head. “And I thought I was paranoid. You have friends here, dude. Let us help you.”

 Tim doesn’t think mentioning that he has friends at home who are likely to say the same thing and get the same results would really help his cause right now, even if it is true. Still, their concern is nearly overwhelming, especially Bruce. “Technically, you were getting the antibiotics for me. It was just the most efficient and direct way.”

 Dick raises an eyebrow at him, skeptically. “Let me get this straight, you think that sneaking into the infirmary, hacking into the system, and keeping the fact that you don’t have a spleen to yourself was the most efficient way? Really?”

 “Bruce would have just told me to take what I needed from the infirmary, and then changed the amount he was ordering anyway. I just cut out the middle man.” Tim honestly doesn’t understand what is so complicated about all of this.

 Bruce stares at him for a long moment. “What would your Bruce say if he discovered you did this back home?”

 Tim furrows his brow in confusion. He’s not certain why he’s being asked this question or why it’s even relevant. “He probably wouldn’t say anything, and, if for some reason he did, he would suggest ways I could hack the system faster or compliment how efficiently I did it.”

 Bruce hums to himself but doesn’t say anything more on the subject before assuring both Roy and Dick that there are plenty of snacks on the tray that he brought up with him for both of them. They both scramble over to the tray as Bruce grabs a chair, and then places it beside the bed. “What are we watching?”

 Tim doesn’t know how to respond. He didn’t expect Bruce to stay. He squirms a little, trying to make it look as though he’s just trying to get comfortable when Dick decides to answer for him through a mouthful of food. “Whatever you or… um… Red wants, I suppose.”

 Bruce stares at him with an unreadable expression – one that Tim honestly doesn’t recognize and has absolutely no hope of deciphering. “It’s your choice, Red.”

 Tim has a feeling that the man is talking about more than just the movie. Although, he has no idea what Bruce could possibly mean, so instead he merely shrugs and gestures for someone else to pick. “It doesn’t matter to me.”

 Bruce places a hand on his shoulder and squeezes gently. “Relax.”

 Tim isn’t exactly certain why he feels compelled to actually listen, but he forces his shoulders to loosen up, takes a calming breath, and then sinks a little deeper into the pillows behind him. It doesn’t escape his notice that Bruce never actually takes his hand off of Tim’s shoulder until Dick passes Bruce a steaming cup. Dick flops onto the bed beside Tim and focuses on the movie Roy picked for them, while Tim desperately tries to ignore the lingering warmth on his shoulder.

 XYZXYZ

 Over the course of the next week, Roy and Dick visit often and are able to smuggle Tim enough hardware for him to build the communication devices. He honestly expects Bruce or Alfred to catch them at some point, especially with how often they both like to check on him. It’s not exactly something that Tim is used to, but he guesses this universe doesn’t keep people as busy as his own.

 Still, this Alfred and Bruce don’t have nearly as much experience with Robins refusing to simply sit in bed and do nothing as his own do. However, it feels a little too easy to simply work with the pieces that he’s been given, stow them away when he knows someone is coming, and rest just enough that Alfred doesn’t get suspicious about how his healing is progressing. Besides, even if he thinks it might be a little too effortless, Tim is eternally grateful that for once things seem to be working in his favor.

 He’s also extremely relieved that he was able to convince Roy and Dick to help keep him busy. The mere idea of spending a week in bed doing nothing with minimal time walking around has his skin crawling. Not to mention, knowing that his recovery is going to take a full six to eight weeks has him feeling rather antsy. Tim sighs heavily at the very thought of it as he stashes the finished devices and then lies back once more.

 He breathes out a breath of relief that he did when moments later Alfred knocks on the door. “I must say, young sir, you have far greater patience than Master Bruce and Master Dick. I honestly expected to find you trying to sneak out of your room at least once during this week.”

 Tim merely shrugs and does his best to mask the wince it causes him. “What can I say; I enjoy your company, Alfred. Not to mention, Dick, Roy, and Bruce have all been doing their best to keep me distracted.”

 Alfred smiles gently at him. “Be that as it may, young sir, I can assure you that such trivial diversions would not be enough to keep Master Bruce and Master Dick from at least one desperate foray into the cave.”

 Tim nods his head and doesn’t mention anything about the fact that, if he thought he could get away with it, that’s exactly where he’d be right now.  “I know exactly what you mean. My own Alfred has come up with some rather creative ways to keep us in bed.”

 “Perhaps, young sir, you can divulge some of his more visionary ploys over our chess game, but first you need to take these.” Alfred hands him his medicine and gives Tim a rather pointed stare. He doesn’t understand why after a week they’re still all treating him as though he has to be watched while taking his medicine, but Tim knows better than to argue with any Alfred.

 Tim takes the medicine and doesn’t even make a show of it, despite how much he may want to. “I don’t know if I feel comfortable sharing information that could potentially be used against me.” Tim means it as a joke, but… well; he knows he has a propensity of getting into trouble.

 Alfred coughs indignantly as he raises a single eyebrow. “I certainly hope you aren’t implying that such grievous injuries are going to be a common occurrence while you are here, young sir.”

 Tim merely shrugs and is immediately reminded why such movements are problematic right now. “You know how it is, Alfred.”

 Alfred furrows his brow and looks as though there’s something he desperately wants to say, but instead he shakes his head and begins helping Tim out of bed. “I believe it would be best to do your exercises now, young sir.”

 Alfred helps him out of bed, and Tim does a few stretches that won’t injure him further. Alfred then assists him with walking around the room before leading him down the hall to where their chess game is already set up and waiting. Tim doesn’t feel nearly as winded as the first time that they did this, but he’s truly not looking forward to his slow recovery. Once Alfred has him settled down in a well-cushioned chair, he takes his own seat, and they begin the game in a tranquil silence.

 The quiet doesn’t last long, however, before Alfred clears his throat. “If I may, young sir?” Tim gestures for Alfred to continue. “I’m aware that you told Master Bruce that you are 17.”

 Tim nods, although he honestly has no idea where Alfred is going with this. “It’s true. I am.”

 Alfred moves one of his pieces and gestures for Tim to take his turn. “I’ve been thinking, young sir; perhaps we should enroll you in school with Master Dick, once you’re healthy, of course.”

 Tim nearly chokes on air at the mention of school. It’s been so long since he’s even considered school as more than a distant memory. He quickly makes him move, hoping to divert Alfred’s attention slightly.  “Oh, um, I’m not in school anymore.”

 Alfred looks pleasantly surprised. “You graduated already? I must say that is most impressive.”

 Tim coughs and rubs the back of his head sheepishly as he glances away from Alfred’s proud expression. He knows that he doesn’t deserve it. Tim never did actually have a conversation with his own Alfred about dropping out, but he’s always been rather grateful that he never had to see the disappointment on the man’s face.

 Tim sighs heavily. It doesn’t matter that this is a different Alfred entirely. He knows this conversation is going to break both of their hearts. “I…um… I didn’t graduate, actually. My senior year didn’t exactly go as planned. There was an important mission that required my full attention, so I dropped out.”

 Alfred drops the piece he was about to move and just stares at Tim horrified for a moment. “How could your Master Bruce or my counterpart allow the mission to take precedence over your schooling? What were they thinking?”

 Tim clears his throat and does his best not to make eye contact with Alfred. “Well, Bruce was missing and I left to go find him, and then sometime later I became an emancipated minor, so there wasn’t much either one of them could do at that point.”

 Alfred looks as if he truly wants to argue, but he simply resumes moving his bishop. “I assume you have your GED, then.”

 Tim shakes his head and resists the urge to sink further into his seat. He never thought disappointing another Alfred would hurt this much, but if Tim has learned anything from his time here, it’s that it doesn’t matter who he’s displeasing, it’s always just as agonizing. “There really wasn’t the time or a need. When I returned a new CEO was needed and… long story short, I was available.”

 “And Lucius agreed with this?”

 Tim shrugs and ignores the pain that it causes him. After all, it’s nothing in comparison to this entire conversation. “Um…well, it was his idea. I mean, it was kind of time-sensitive.”

 Alfred hums a noncommittal tone. “I take it from your general attitude that you have no intention of either returning to school or getting your GED when you return home, then?”

 Tim glances away once more. He’s fairly certain that he’s not imagining the disapproving tone. “Honestly, assuming I can find a way back home, I’m not sure there’s really a point to wasting my time. I’m fully capable of accomplishing everything I need to without it.”

 Alfred raises an eyebrow at him. “And what of the desires that you wish to achieve beyond what you need to accomplish?”

 Tim doesn’t know if he necessarily has an answer to that. It’s been so long since he’s even considered his own desires beyond what’s necessary that he’s not entirely certain that he even knows what he wants. He knows that he should focus on returning home. He knows that it’s not fair to simply abandon everyone and everything, but Tim doesn’t know if that’s what he necessarily wishes.

 “I’m sure I can accomplish most things without it.” Tim knows that Alfred understands what it means for him to be this evasive, but he hopes Alfred will simply let it go. After all, how can Alfred be certain pursuing this line of questioning will be advantageous when Tim doesn’t even know if he has a response beyond vague retorts?

 Tim isn’t sure if he’s relieved that Alfred does leave it there, because the rest of their game is finished in quite tense silence. When Tim returns to the room he’s staying in, he doesn’t need to feign exhaustion as Alfred slowly lowers him down on fresh sheets. A part of him wants to apologize, although he doesn’t know why. After all, this isn’t the Alfred that he needs to be apologizing to.

 Still, Tim can’t help it. As he slumps further into the pillows propping him up, Tim mutters out the only thing that he can think at this moment. “I’m sorry for not being more.”

 His eyes are heavy, but he sees the way Alfred clutches the covers he’s trying to pull over Tim. There’s the sound of hitched breathing, but whether that’s Alfred’s or Tim’s own breathing from jostling his chest, Tim will never know. He’s asleep before Alfred can say another word.

 The End (for now)

[lovetheangelshadow]

N'Pressions: Shazam!

I found out about Shazam (or Captain Marvel as I knew him and still prefer to call him but I won’t for the sake of clarity) almost a decade ago by sheer accident. My college library had a huge collection of the Showcase Presents DC Comics volumes from Justice League, to Batman, Teen Titans, and of course Captain Marvel. And with all the Batman films that kept coming out, Shazam was the one DC hero above all others I really wanted to see on the big screen. He had a cool costume, a crazy assortment of villains from the over the top Sivanna, to his dark double Black Adam, and Ibac who gets his powers from the sum of four of the most evil men on earth at the time of his creation. Oh and Mr. Mind who is a telepathic alien worm. And side character Talky Tawny who is a basically an anthro tiger. While Endgame is still on my roster of must see in the theatre movies, Shazam was one superhero movie I really wanted to see when it first came out. I know I’m late in posting this, and that’s on me.

Anyway the movie opens with young Sivanna being summoned to the Rock of Eternity to be tested if he is worthy of the new Champion mettle but gets tempted by the Seven Deadly Sins and hoo boy we’ll get to you even in good time. Oh and I guess he was seen as worthless by his dad and bulled by his older brother and blah blah not like we haven’t seen it a gazillion times. I know it’s an odd thing to harp on but the biggest reason it bugs me in retrospect is because for the most part the film plays itself very straight forward and there really wasn’t a big payoff at least for me. Anyway Sivanna becomes obsessed with finding the way back to the Rock of Eternity. When he finally gets back there, he releases the Seven and absorbs their spirits to gain power to go and get revenge. Afterwards we see Billy Batson trick police and breaking into their car to locate an address. So Billy’s semi new origin story was that he was lost at a carnival and has run out of foster homes to try and find her again with each result leading to a dead end. At least this one does pay off later. The system sends Billy to a group home run by two former foster kids who have a very strong sense of communal family and he meets Freddy who is a major superhero buff. Later at school, while Billy is distancing himself from the rest of the family, Freddy is bullied. Billy at first just walks off but then defends him to where he has to run to escape and hides in a subway car. From there the wizard summons him and chooses him as champion because there isn’t much time before the Sins really tear things up.

So the movie goes on from there with Billy and Freddy figuring out just what Shazam can do and screw around; slipping classes, buying alcohol, etc. Especially not really acting like a hero. Am I mad? Not really, no. Considering that Billy is a teenager yeah this is something that a teen would do first when he got superpowers. Heck, Spiderman did until it bit him in the arse is a big way pushing him to be the hero that he needs to be though sometimes dancing with temptation to just do things for yourself. Plus the humor around it was pretty fun and natural. Save for maybe a couple times where it felt a little cringe but they quickly passed and didn’t drag like Ghostbusters 2016. Also Zac Levi. And yes I could not unheard him as Flynn Rider I am not sorry. Sure both Billy and Freddy are kind of selfish brats, but they are also kids who have gone through some shit and this is their big break of levity. Also their messing around does have concequences. Freddy starts bragging and his boasts get him suitcase wedgied and Billy nearly kills a bunch of people because of his recklessness. Also them getting their family held hostage by Sivanna and Sins.

I give props to DC for not going the dark, deconstructing route that it had been doing for some years now. While I haven’t seen a lot of the animated film catalog for some years now, at least even from trailer standalones they looked a lot more interesting and felt right in comic book movie tone than the live action ones did. Sure, Marvel has had some duds here and there but at least they knew and embraced what they were building and varied it from hero to hero as needed. DC? Hey let’s just keep copying the Batman template even if it fits just as well as a 30 pin dock connector into a lightning port. I am not opposed to dark comics and dark comic book movies but when it is the same every single time and you don’t tailor it to what each hero is and represents, it really gets aggravating. Also the Justice League cartoon did it better. ANYWAY.

If there is really only one (and a half) thing that bugged me, it was the villain. Not that is isn’t a viable threat, not that he doesn’t push Billy/Shazam to his limits to where he finally gets the hero thing. He’s generic. He was honestly a villain I’ve seen so many times and nothing about him really stands out. Granted, I haven’t read the comics in ages, but this didn’t feel right for Sivanna to me. Sivanna, to me, as a over the top mad scientist who wanted to be supreme ruler because he thought he was better intellectually. He had diabolical twin children. Heck, his looked like a human rat for crying out loud. This kinda wasn’t Sivanna to me and the whole backstory, personality, and heck powers seemed a better fit for Black Adam. Sure, Black Adam has a different backstory in the comics as being a former Champion who went bad but heck making his powers come from the Seven Sins would have worked and him being obsessed with power and getting revenge on the Wizard and others he feels crossed him just would have fit so much more nicely. Granted Sivanna was the first villain in the comics, but what are you going to do. Oh and the Sins were just meh. I couldn’t tell you who was who except they were voiced by Hulk and Wolverine

Other than that I really enjoyed this movie and I hope this is turning point for DC movies going back to basics and finally getting a real chance to shine on its own without being compared and/or overshadowed by Marvel. And from rumors on both sides of Marvel and DC, we might get that. One can only hope even as oversaturated as the comic book market has been. I’m Noctina Noir, and beware of random lightning strikes on sunny days in Philadelphia.

[sasamdcu]

Honestly, Detective Comics 1000 had some high points and some low points. But overall I felt it was rather lackluster. I figure I’d do a min overview review. Spoilers for literally the entire book it’s my opinions while reading and I am fairly new to comics and don’t know shit so bear that in mind. Please remember this is subjective and my own opinions.

So first off when I got to my shop they only had the 70s variant left, and with good reason. It feels extremely generic and not great. Maybe that’s the point of it emulating the 70s but I don’t know. I feel like a milestone should have something bigger and nicer.

As for stories. Batman’s Longest Case? Ehh, Art was okay. Story was pretty mad. Everyone always claims Batman is the worlds greatest detective. Or at least top 3, HECK it’s DETECTIVE COMICS. And yet it’s basically “It took him 50 years to find a secret society that Hawkman Hawkwoman Martian Manhunter and some other unnamed shmucks who are literally a who’s who have beaten him to it. It doesn’t feel like it matches. To be fair I don’t know some of these other character but like. I get Detective Chimp and The Question but it still felt weird and weak and a pretty poor way to start off the series. It felt extremely weak of a reveal and extremely weak of a story for Snyder, which is a shame his work during New 52 is what got me into Batman so I was hoping for more from him.

And then he finds in a book that says that the gun that killed his parents is at some costume pawn shop for villains items. That he somehow didn’t know that already? Like that should be pretty easy to find. Dude outright says he’s selling to suburban moms. It was. 3/10. I give points because what he did with the gun was alright. Okay I know I’m joking I know the whole gun plot line was actually the second story Manufactured For Use but the way they led together and left the title card at the end made it feel like one story and it just felt like there was an awkward transition. That’s just kinda bad layouting though.

The Legend of Knute Brody though? Fantastic. Great. The art had a stylistic charm(Dustin is always great at these kind of comedic stories with this art I find. It has a feel of the cartoon and really emphasizes the emotions in a great way) The story was fun, unique and different. It was new and really showed some cool family bonding. Really good. One of the best stories of the issue, Good job Paul Dini and the art team.

The Batman’s design. I wanna praise the art here. It’s really cool and how it uses the darks is fantastic. Unfortunately the story while okay is generic and bland as shit. Like. I’ve read this story a million times. That said of all the more bland generic stories in this issue like the first two? This one is the best. It’s got fantastic execution even if it doesn’t do anything new. Feels like a good filler issue for during a regular run.

Return to Crime Alley and Heretic are literally the more generic stories of Batman’s Design. While Heretic could maybe be something if it was part of a run Return to Crime Alley was just so heavy handed it was just. I dunno, these are the worse options for the generic story lines but without the fantastic art. Heretic has a decent throwback to older art styles that fits the book and brings nostalgia. I wasn’t reading then though so it doesn’t really do anything for me and just highlights what I don’t like about some older comic runs art.

I know was fantastic. This for me would be another highlight, the art is great. the way the story focuses on Bruce and his existence through the eyes of one of his adversaries is neat and the idea behind it is intriguing and different. I really liked it. I read the DC website preview which was this story and it’s what convinced me to buy the issue for sure. I thought if it was a bunch of stories like this it would be fantastic. Unfortunately not many other stories held up.

I loathe the Last Crime in Gotham, the story and the art. I don’t know if the art was supposed to be so janky and anatomically incorrect on purpose because it’s some warped future but like. Oof. It felt like everything I’ve heard complained about super hero bodies rolled into one. And as far as a future where crime is over? It really didn’t play with that idea enough for it to feel like anything other than just someone throwing darts at a list. (Edit: I literally just learned about Earth-2 so I’m much more lenient on this and it’s more interesting now, and I understand that it’s more just for the super long time readers or diehards from the Golden Era. My kneejerk reaction is the fact that it falls flat and makes no sense for pretty much no newer readers. Carry on, I’ll give yall the oldschool homage.)

The Precedent was decent. Though the dialogue especially Dick’s near the end feels really off and stilted. Like it feels like a robot monologueing without any emotion from any of the characters. The concept was okay though. I would think it would have come across stronger if they had panels show casing each of his proteges. Though that might have been saved specifically only for the next story.

The Batman’s Greatest Case. Honestly a decent story, great ideas. I loved it a lot. Except one thing. No Harper Row. Which like hear me out. This is all about the family. Harper was brought into the family. She left sure, but they literally state IN THE STORY, the only way out is death essentially. She left the costume behind but not the family. Like the last time she was mentioned years ago Cass was visiting her apartment still and hanging out. I really feel that she should have been there, maybe not in costume like, but in plain clothes with her mask. She was fighting in a suit(the regular black) without her identity before joining the family so when she became Bluebird is sort of when she joined the family. And while she left the suit behind, that was from before she was a part of the family. I think even if in the background it would have been a strong statement that you can leave the life behind but you’ll still be a part of the family if she was there. That you don’t need to be currently active to be a part. They really missed out what how that one small inclusion could have added so much. Also would have been a great way to remind people she exists in case anyone wanted to use her. I almost have a feeling she was explicitly banned because it feels like the rebirth team hates her and wants her forgotten. Which is a shame because she was a cool character and part of the family and I feel like the whole family should have been there. Like Huntress is fucking there and she’s not. I may have fallen behind but I don’t remember Huntress ever being as close to the family as Harper. It’s like she was the awkward stand in to replace Harper after the editor said to take Harper out. That 100% feels like what happened. Harper and Cass on that rock would have made so much sense.

Anyways rant aside the last story was alright. And then the preview for the new story starting next issue seemed solid and the new villain/hero? antihero? who knows. Seems neat. It left a good impression for things to come. Things that wont include Harper because the editorial team is trying to bury her. Bless up Greg Weisman for Young Justice bringing us Justice.

Anyways overall it was a letdown as a milestone but had some good moments.

[hyacinthus-orientalis-linnaeus]

Let’s fucking talk about Supermartian. (TW for mental abuse.)

They broke up for very good reasons - after an argument, M’gann forced her way into Conner’s mind and tried to force him to forget that he was mad at her. He was mad at her because she was using her powers to brutally rip their enemies minds apart! And it was heavily implied that she had done this to him before!

Considering Conner’s origins, this was particularly horrible of her. He was created by Cadmus and controlled by Desmond and the genomorphs while in their captivity. So for M’gann to ignore his free mental will and try and force Conner to conform to what she wanted from him was so fucked up - although it would have been anyway, Conner’s preexisting trauma only makes it worse.

And, to top it all off, the writers made Conner apologize to M’gann!

This doesn’t even make sense, considering they addressed that what she did was not okay earlier!

They made Conner apologize to his abuser and then had them get back together! What the fuck? And now they’re engaged? I swear to God if they actually have them get married, I’m fucking burning DC and everything they own to the ground, with the writers inside.

I sat back and watched as the Young Justice cartoon desecrated Conner’s character, but I am so fucking done with DC treating male characters like they can’t be victims. I guarantee that if this situation were reversed, people would not stick up for Conner and they would not ship Supermartian.

Unpopular opinion: I didn't like the relationship with superboy and Megan. I felt it was a little rush since Conner was just learning how to be a "human" and Megan using her powers without permission made me super uncomfable with her. Don't hate it, just dislike.

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

no no you’re right! i think his acceptance of her true form was cute, but i hated how she just left kaldur, who was literally dying, during “bereft”. and i hate how superboy kept bringing up only how mgann almost died during “humanity”, acting like the rest were perfectly fine.

i know they’re in love and stuff, but it honestly seems stupid, because like? hello? the rest of your team? and her digging through his mind was so fucking wrong. you’re completely right. 

send me unpopular opinions!

[fennecfoxfanatic]

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Heavy vent ahead: general content and trigger warnings

i just want to die very fucking hard right now man. I am usually just teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown, but all the twitter and tumblr discourse makes me want to preemptively kill myself. i know is a stupid sentiment to feel but idk man it is like second hand stress? like i am afraid of being called out and called something i am clearly NOT. and worse of all, nobody willing to listen to my side of the story. Or that the story is complicated and there is no pure evil and predatory side while the other side is white knighting reasoning and righteous?

It is never like that. I don’t want to made fun of. Especially on the internet. In such a way where their elitist claims will get me shunned and ruin my career. Shit man I know those people think they are right but once again, everything is complicated. There is a person behind that screen. Shit man I shouldve offed myself a long time ago.

Please. I just want to create and have fun. I want to draw and watch cartoons. Yall say cringe culture is dead yet you tend make fun of anybody who already graduated High School. Every thing is problematic. Nothing and no one is Pure. Even Jesus got mad once. Maybe those salesmen were trying to provide for their family but OOPS. Gosh It is so hard to unlearn the purity culture i was raised on. I had always been a good kid, a tattle tale, always on the side of justice and self sacrifice. ANd learning how to let go and not frett over it is hella difficult and I’m stilll struggling. And yet tumblr/twitter’s purity culture is killing me. I am a human being i want to explore shit through fiction. Hell, just create shit that makes me happy and putting it out there

But i am scared

to be called out

so i dont create

Like gosh man I don’t know my goal in life but I am scared. Scared that mob mentality will come. And they will kill me. Not physically. But I will.

Shit man I am having a good time and idk why all these dreary feelings come mushing in. I hate it. I want to stab myself. I cannot fathom being made fun of, directly or indirectly. Like I just saw somebody making fun of my ship and I started bawling immediatly. Like i don’t care man. I am les e fair when it comes to fictional ships but golly gosh did that hurt??? It’s like adding a stab wound to heavy metal poisoning. I just feel so alone? It is my childhood stick. Idk how to explain it but it was one of the three things that kept me alive as a young suicidal peep. Two of those sticks are long ass dead. Please nobody destroy this one. It be like telling baby me, yeah those things you live for aren’t worth it:just like you. I only kept middleschooler me alive because of those sticks. And I am only down to one. Gosh that hurt

stab me in the fucking neck and let me choke on my own fluids

and to top it all off i think i saw fuckboi today on the train and im still hella hurt and hella triggered by him. I am hella face blind tho so it could’ve been anyone but gosh i still think he lives in my neighborhood. It still hurts to think of what could’ve been? He was a stick after. Gosh he had the bike and the right stature too. And I wanted to just throw up and run away from there. I still dont understand what happened or what happened to me. I was kinda unconscious all those times? I think? Maybe i should’ve given it up. MAybe it was my fault for leading him on and obsessing over him. But then why would he do that. And just leave me there? Like that? See, It is complicated. I miss all those friends and teachers and opportunities i lost. GOsh that was the actual first time i tried to kill myself by drowning in the bath tub. I couldn’t do it cause i was a wimp.

So yeah my brain is stupid and doesn’t know what trigger and/or memory to latch onto. It all jumbles all into ?????? this? Like bro. If anybody knows me irl, you know I hate writing HATE HATE HATE. It is a bigass stressor of mine. I’d probably wrote more in this past half hour than in this past 6, 7 years. So even i dont know what is going on

i just want to be happy and explore my gender and sexuality through smorching cartoon drawings godamn it is all i have keeping me alive. the only constant in my life that i’ve carried with me

I just IDK anymore. I AM NOT gonna hurt myself in anyway trust me. Don’t contact me or anyone about it.  Don’t worry, I just needed to vent out my feelings a bit. :3

Brains be like that sometimes 

I took the emergency anxiety pill so im drowsy and calmer now zzzzz owo

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[joyofcrime-elinorhigh]

Powerpuff Girls 2016 REVIEW: Part 3

Part Six: Dank Memes, Bra! So here we are, we're finally talking about the elephant in the room. It is time to talk about one of the biggest complaints about the 2016 Powerpuff Girl reboot, as a whole, the use of memes and internet references as a source of humor. If you are reading this and are somehow unaware, the new reboot has had several jokes referencing memes and internet slang in the show. For example in the episode "Painbow" we get Bubbles saying "OMG, Yaass!" and "I can't even!" as well as a scene Blossom and Buttercup twerking after they where mind controlled to party with a talking panda bear that lived in the clouds above Townsville. (Okay, now that I say that out loud that episode was really weird...) Also in the episode "Tiara Trouble" we have Bubbles getting mad at her sisters and yelling "No me Gusta!" at the end of her rant. There has also been a clip of an upcoming episode featuring Bubbles creating a "Mojo Meme Generator." So, how has the internet reacted to the reboots use of memes and internet related humors? Not well, as you could of probably guessed. Almost every online review uses either the "No Me Gusta" or the twerking as part of there thumbnail, with people acting like this show is nothing more than an endless barrage of internet slang that is trying to be "hip with da kids, bra". Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that there complaints aren't at least somewhat warranted, as these memes are definitely used more frequently than in most other shows, but I personally feel that people might be exaggerating the extent of these jokes. If you look through all the episodes and combine all the instances of meme-ery, it honestly isn't that much, like combined all the memes probably take up less that forty seconds from the entire series thus far. Now I get why people would be against memes in a show like this, as it does seem pandering and will age the show, but what I don't get is why THIS show gets the shaft for using internet and meme jokes when other cartoons get off scot-free free. Gumball had an entire episode devoted to Gumball and Darwin watching Youtube clips, where they parody Rickrolling and the Ice Bucket Challenge. Nobody talks about how Uncle Grandpa had an entire episode dedicated to "Duck Lips." We Bare Bears uses internet jokes in almost every episode, and made a "I like turtles." joke, IN 2016! Now I honestly don't really have a problem with meme references in cartoons (I think the "I like turtles" joke was actually really, really funny.) But it seems unfair to target Powerpuff Girls for this when all these other Cartoon Network shows do the same thing. Now you could argue that part of the problem is that when PPG 2016 uses memes, it's just not funny. You could also argue that Gumball and We Bare Bears reference internet trends while Powerpuff Girls does specific memes, and thus isn't as timeless. I would agree with this, as I feel like Powerpuff Girls is nowhere near as clever with it's internet jokes as something like We Bare Bear's is. The only reason I like the Powerpuff Girls meme jokes is because I like how cringe it is, and if where looking at the jokes in an unironic sense there not really that good, I mean Bubbles just randomly shouts "No Me Gusta." I won't argue that at all. You could also make the argument that the old Powerpuff Girls was a timeless show, and thus this show should try to be timeless too. I do agree with that too..For the most part. The show was timeless, but...do You remember "Powerpuff Girls Rule?" It was the 10th anniversary special made by Craig McCracken himself had a reference to "Surprised Chipmunk" in it. Heck Craig McCracken even referenced the He-Man "Fabulous Secret Powers" meme in the Wander Over Yonder episode "The Cartoon." Now if the memes are still a problem for you, I get it. I can see how it could appear desperate or running the timeless quality, or just plain unfunny. I just personally don't mind it that much, because other cartoons do the same thing, and all together the memes don't even account for a minute of the actual show. I just feel it's a little unfair to take a few clips and say that that's what the entire show is, when really it's a pretty small percent. But if you still have a problem with the memes that's fine, I don't think your opinions are wrong or anything stupid like that, it's just my personal perspective. Point Seven: Teen Titans Go! Crossover So it's been recently announcing this July there is going to be a Teen Titans Go! Crossover with the 2016 Powerpuff Girls. This has sparked outrage among the internet (which is pretty much the internet default opinion of the reboot at this point, all things considered.) Now what is my take on this? Well...I Depends on if it's really a "crossover?" Now that may sound really weird to some people, but please here me out. Teen Titans Go! Has done stuff like this before, They had a crossover with the Young Justice team in the episode "Let's Get Serious" and a crossover with the TMNT in the episode "Truth, Justice, and What" Oh wait...I'm Sorry, it wasn't the TMNT, it was the Super Cool Youngish Kung-Fu Turtle Dudes, how could I mess that up. Anyway, neither of those crossover featured anybody who worked on those other series, except for the voices actors. Not only that, but those crossovers didn't really even have the guest stars in important roles, they where really just cameos, with only the character that was voiced by a TTG cast member actually talking, and only getting a couple lines at that. I suspect that the Teen Titans Go! Crossover will be something like that. I.E. It will be created by the Teen Titans Go! Crew, without any involvement or possibly permission from any of the Powerpuff Girls writers or crew member,  and have the Powerpuff Girls show up for like, a minute and a half at most, only have Bubbles say any of the lines (because Tara Strong also voiced Raven) and then the rest of the episode being about the Teen Titans characters doing something unrelated. The plot will most likely be about people hating reboots, and the show claiming that people only hate TTG and PPG because there reboots and not for any legitimate complaints because, well that's kinda what Teen Titans Go! Does. Now I don't know this for sure, but I'm calling this now! If this isn't the case, if the crossover has writers from BOTH series, and is a real super hero team up type thing, than yeah, people can complain about this episode all they want, but If I know TTG (and trust me, I could probably talk about that show for even longer than I've talked about this show) that would be my guess on how this crossover will most likely go down. If it does go down the way I described that I really don't think it's fair to blame the Powerpuff Girl Reboot for an episode made by other writers at another studio just because they used their characters. But we will have to wait until July to find out for sure, so let us move on. Point Eight: Final Thoughts Now I'm most likely bias when it comes to the Powerpuff Girl reboot. When it was first announced I was hesitant, but as time went on I became excited. Then when I saw everyone online hate the show prior to it coming out I wanted to like it even more, out of spite. I felt like nobody was giving the show a chance, and so I wanted to be that person to give it a chance. I wanted the show to be great, partially to prove all those people wrong but also because I love the original Powerpuff Girls! I grew up with that show, and I loved it! The idea of Powerpuff Girls becoming a franchise, in the same vein as Batman and the Ninja Turtles got me really excited. If this show took off there could be a new Powerpuff Girl cartoon ever decade, constantly evolving, and adding elements onto each other. Becoming a part of the American pop culture landscape, and I'm still hoping that that can happen, we've just gotten a rocky start. (But still, I mean the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles TV show after the 80's one was the live action one, and that franchise recovered.) I don't want to come off as a blind fanboy, as I do have problems with this new series. I think the writing is okay, but not great, I don't like the removal of Ms. Bellum, I wish they change the majority of the cast and not just the girls, the show being less action driven and more character based could of worked, but not the way they decided to do it, and the animation errors really need to be fixed. But the show isn't God awful either. The backgrounds and coloring are beautiful, I like how they added new villains and side characters to the Powerpuff Girl roster (even though the villains and side characters can be kinda hit or miss.) the show is still at least fairly funny, and I love what they've done with Bubbles. A lot of people say that reboots are just easy ways for big studios to make money without doing anything original, a while this may be true in some respects, a reboot might be easy money for an executive but for the cast and crew working on it it's pretty dang hard. I mean sure you'll have a built in audience and the reboot will most likely make a lot of money, but you also have to fill the shoes of the original creators. You have to deal with all the premature hatred that comes with that built in audience, and you have to juggling meeting there expectation, being your own thing, and making the show you want to create. It's frickin' hard! And you could say that's just the trade off but remember it's the networks who decided to reboot the property, not the showrunner or executive behind the show itself. It's easy enough to write a character you've made, but when it's a character you haven't made it presents it's own set of challenges that must be a nightmare for some creators and directors, and I'm not just talking about Powerpuff Girls. I think the show is good. Not great, but good. It's far from the worse thing ever. I would probably say I enjoy the reboot about as much if not more  than most of the episodes in the last two seasons of the old series, and I do hope that the people behind the shows will improve as time goes on. After all, it is just the first season, and the old show had some dumb things in there first season too (remember that episode where three criminals disguised themselves as the girls with costumes that where just conveniently inside there prison cell...yeah.) I hope you liked my massive review on the Powerpuff Girls Reboot, I've never done a project like this before and the feedback has been fantastic. If you have any other ideas for reviews or topics for me to cover in my other series, "Cartoon Thoughts" let me know. Also if you want, feel free to check out my webcomics, "Joy of Crime" or "Elinor High." If you like this review please fav, follow and comment and I will be most appreciative. And so once again, the day is saved, thanks to...over analyzation! (...I'm pushing it, aren't I?) 

https://www.deviantart.com/joyofcrimeart/journal/Powerpuff-Girls-2016-REVIEW-Part-3-610024966 DA Link

[everland-x-blog]

Je veux t'aimer

I want to fall in love with you, I want to so badly. I want to be there for you in every way imaginable. I want to hold your hand and stand by your side through the trials and tribulations that are thrown in your way. I want to be there to help you celebrate your victories. I want to be there for you from beginning to end. I want to be the person you trust the most and confide in, I'd give anything to carry that responsibility. I don't want to betray you; I want the capability to be utterly honest and trustworthy to you. I want to be the shoulder you go to when you need one for support. I want to be the small and frail set of arms you long for when you need a hug. I want to be the person you seek out when you need to be showered with affection. I want to be there waiting for you while you're gone. I want to be the one longing to come back to you when I'm gone. I want to give you everything I have, my heart, my body, my soul, my love and devotion. I want you to look past the fact that I'm broken or defective goods and love me anyway. I don't care about the demons you may have on your back or your little imperfections; to me they make you perfect. I don't care if you have a past or enough baggage to sink a nation…I do too and I want to carry it all with you (not for you.) I want to snuggle with you at night, smelling your T-shirt and hugging up as close to you as I can. I want to not want to let you go. I want to touch your face tenderly and cover it with feathery kisses. I want to run my thumb softly along your eyelashes while you're sleeping. I want to become irritated with your snoring and talking in your sleep until I hear you mumble my name. I want to complain about your cold feet touching me at night or fight with you over the covers. I want to send your ass packing to the couch. I want to love every fiber of your being, because they make you who you are, and I want to love you. I want to go to you when I'm upset and hurt just to be engulfed in your arms. I think I'd feel safer there than anywhere else. I want that feeling of security I know you can give me. I want to break down crying, completely heartbroken only to have you mend me back together just by holding me close and whispering to me reassuringly. I want to give you peace. I want to laugh my ass off at you and your goofiness. I want to listen to your corny jokes and your terrible impersonations because they really are funny even though I don't want to admit it. I want you to snicker at me and call me weird nicknames because of my unconventional habits. I want to form as many inside jokes with you as I can and remember them all just so I can send you random messages throughout the day that won't make sense to anyone but us. I want you to laugh at the messages until you cry and when your coworkers or friends ask what's so funny, you can't explain it, you just laugh until they think you've gone insane. I want to be the one to make you smile. I want to talk politics with you and debate the meanings of life and love. I want to develop our own philosophies together. I want to make important and life changing decisions with you. I want to do favors for you, saying: "Ok…but you owe me," not because I actually want something, it just means I'll get to spend more time with you. I want to get so mad at you sometimes that I end up feeling ashamed of myself and ask for forgiveness even though it actually was your fault. I want you to do the same with me. I want you to roll your eyes at me when I get on your nerves, forcing me to pinch you in retaliation. I want you to pinch me back. I want to get into pinching wars with you. I want you to tell me when I'm doing something wrong or annoying (just so I can pinch you back yet again to get even.) I want to wrestle with you in the living room. I want to land on top and pin you down, and gloat about how I won even though we both know you let me just so you could have a 'nice view'. I'd like to be able to lay my head on your shoulder not because I'm sleepy, but because I get to be closer to you in a sneaky way. I want you to hug me from behind and seductively kiss my shoulder. I want to burry my face in the nape of your neck and tickle you unexpectedly with my eyelashes. I want you to call me a dork for doing so followed by: "but for some odd reason I love you anyway." I want to spend an entire Saturday in bed with you. I want to make memories with you; good ones, bad ones, sweet ones, funny ones, ridiculous ones, R rated ones…I just want to share them with you and you alone. I want to hurt in your absence; I want that pain deep inside my chest. I want to feel like I'm the loneliest person in the world when you're gone. I want the excitement I know I'm bound to feel upon your return. I want the knowledge that I belong to you and you belong to me. I want you to know you always have someone to turn to and I want for us to be together even if some people may not agree with our union. I want the stress and frustration that come with the difficulties in a relationship because it means you come attached. I want you to want to be with me despite all the factors that may be stacked against us. I want to fight those factors with you. I may not want to spend the rest of my life with you just yet, but I want to consider it someday. I want you to want a future. I want to see you succeed in life, not just financially, but I want to see you happy and enjoying life to its fullest. I want the reassurance that you'll live up to your potential and become someone that'd make me even more proud of you than I already am. I want to experience young love with you. I want for us to go to public places just to see the elderly couples glare at us and bicker about 'the youth of today' with our tattoos and piercings and 'horrid rock music'. I want you to laugh at me when I say 'that'll be us someday'. I want to spend an entire day washing your car only to end up with us dirtier than the car was to begin with. I want to spray you in the face with the hose and then have you chase after me and tackle me to the ground. I want to stay up all night watching horror movies with you until we're both too scared to go to sleep. I want to sit quietly and listen to you play your guitar while you sing some of the songs I wrote for you. I don't think anyone could do my lyrics better justice than you could even though I'm slightly biased. I want the songs to make me cry and then have you gently wipe away the tears. I want to jump your bones afterwards and take advantage of you (none too gently I might add.) I want you to want me to take advantage of you. I want you to take advantage of me in return. I want us to sit in comfortable silence while I sketch a picture of you without your knowledge. I want you to know what I'm actually doing, but stay silent so as not to ruin the moment. I want long talks with you about the dumbest things as in subliminal messaging in cartoons. I want to watch you laugh and smile, and because of this I want to fall in love with you all over again. I want to undress you with my eyes. I want you to tell me I don't need to wear makeup because I'm beautiful without it even though we both know if I went outside looking the way I do in the mornings I'd scare small children. I want you to talk me out of getting my nose pierced, but end up taking me to get my first tattoo instead. I want to fight over little things with you like what radio station to play or what channel to watch on the TV. I want to argue with you over whether to go to Burger King or McDonald's until we finally compromise on Wendy's even though neither one of us likes their food. I want to hate your video games the way you hate my feminist music. I want you to teach me how to play Mortal Combat only to have me accidentally beat you. I want to laugh at you while you rant about 'beginner's luck' and say: 'it was a fluke'. I want to get competitive with you. I want to place bets with you over random things. I want to go moshing with you. I want you to be overprotective of me and make sure I don't get run over by a hoard of drunk guys. I want to get into an argument in the middle of the pit over some stupid or meaningless thing. I want the make-up sex afterwards when we get home. I want your friends to like me, I want to like them. I want to watch your band practices. Basically, I want a life with you in it. I want a relationship with nobody but you. I know I'm normally picky and have a lot of faults, but you have touched my heart in a way no one has before and all I want right now is for you to accept me. I will be there for you and I will love you unconditionally because I want to fall in love with you and you alone and I believe you're worth the effort. I believe everyone deserves love, including us, and you're the only one I want to fall in love with. I want to make you feel loved, accepted, cherished, appreciated, and far more special than you can ever imagine because that's what I want you to mean to me.

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #271

Top Ten Gritty Properties that Could Be Kids Shows

The intense fad for “grim and gritty” interpretations of popular brands and characters seems, thankfully, to have peaked. The dour tone of Batman v Superman is largely seen as one of the main reasons why it didn’t receive the critical praise or quite the same level of box-office love as Marvel movies such as Civil War or Avengers. Recent trailers for upcoming DC movies Justice League and Wonder Woman seem keen to showcase the lighter side of their characters, even if the visual style and colour palette of both films remains rooted in the murky greyness of the Snyder-verse.

All the same, it still seems that the easiest way to adapt or update a property for the modern audience is to “darken” it in some way. The Transformers films, whilst being mostly dumb action spectacle, still seem pitched at an older audience than the cartoons or comics, despite the fact that the comics are significantly more intelligent and nuanced. In the wake of Deadpool and Logan, the big rush at the moment is for sweary, bloody comics adaptations aimed at adults – as evidenced in the R-rated Hellboy reboot that’s just been announced. And I admit I’m talking a lot about comics and adaptations here; that’s probably because when I think of “grim and gritty” I think of people misunderstanding The Dark Knight Returns and making miserable Batman comics. DC have been doubling-down on the dark for at least a decade, and funnily enough they’re seeing a sales resurgence with Rebirth, which – as I understand it – proffers more open-hearted superhero tales, where Batman is allowed to crack a smile once in a while. On the other side of America, Marvel is turning its flagship boy scout superhero into a Nazi and executing their perennial optimistic sidekick, and suffering a sales slump.

Anyway, before I digress myself into a black hole, the point I’m trying to make that, for most of my adult life, the shorthand to “sophisticated and grown-up adaptation” was “make it dark, gritty, and bloody”. I think that’s because there’s always a fear that genre products are silly, or for children. My personal belief is that yes, ultimately Batman is for children. You can make a fantastic adult Batman story, of course, but at the end of the day Warners want to sell toys and pillowcases and costumes for five-year-olds. They make preschool Batman books. These characters don’t exist in a vacuum where only people with a credit card can access them. But at the same time, what’s wrong with children’s properties? Star Wars, The Hobbit, Harry Potter, Transformers, Doctor Who – they’re all children’s stories. And they’re all great.

With that in mind, let’s redress the balance by tipping the scales in the opposite direction. What adult properties are there that could be adapted for children? I know that in the 80s we saw some rather strange Saturday morning cartoons – their zenith (or nadir) being Toxic Crusaders, probably the only children’s animation based on a Troma film – but all the same, in general “grown up” franchises don’t get to become kid-friendly (yeah, I know, stuff like Terminator or Die Hard suffer that ratings slippage thing, starting out firmly R-rated but getting watered down over subsequent sequels; but I mean adapted into a proper children’s product). So here are ten properties – or films, or stories, or whatever you wanna call them – that I think could survive with their core values intact, but still become all-aged adventures. And I mean specifically all-ages; PG, not PG-13. Actual programmes or films aimed at children, rather than the bloodless and watered-down films we frequently see.

The Terminator: obviously you'd tone down the killing, but if you look at T2 in particular, you've got robots, time travel, a young protagonist and a journey/quest structure. All the ingredients you need for an adventure cartoon!

Army of Darkness: notice I've not said "The Evil Dead". Focussing on the third film, following a goofy, funny young guy teleported into ancient times and having to use his wit and some modern gadgets to fight an evil army of skeletons. That'd work!

Inception: ditch all the stuff about tokens and suicide and Leo's faceless kids, and focus on a mismatched team who use futuristic technology to enter the minds/dreamworlds of various people. Plenty of child-friendly materiel to be mined there.

Mad Max: what?! But seriously, a post-apocalyptic adventure where grumpy father-figure Max leads a team of raggedy kids to try to find salvation across a dangerous desert. No need for the creepy visuals or social subtext. Just a fun ride.

From Dusk Till Dawn: ditch George and Quentin, and just focus on Harvey Keitel and his kids; driving across Mexico in an RV, fighting vampires. What kid wouldn't wanna watch that?

It: it already stars a bunch of kids, fighting an evil clown. Tone down the scares, lose the extreme violence, forget about the adults, and you're onto a winner. And maybe get rid of the bit where they all have sex in the sewer.

An American Werewolf in London: an American exchange student living in London is bitten and realises he's slowly turning into a werewolf, at which point he meets fellow teens in a society of werewolves... oh, this is just turning into Wolfblood really, isn't it?

The Shining: a whimsical, Gaiman-esque tale about a man, his wife, and their young boy – who happens to have magic powers. Their task? To guard a mysterious old hotel from strange paranormal visitors! Could the very hotel itself be... alive?!

Grand Theft Auto: okay, hear me out. It's a teen drama of a kind perfected by CBBC, following a gang of petty car thieves and their various interpersonal dealings. Will they fall in with the local mob? Will they choose the straight and narrow? With bloodless car chases and no swearing!

Blade Runner: teen drama in the vein of Wolfblood or Eve (or possibly even a YA series!) following a group of young Replicants. Are they human? Do they have souls? What's it like feeling sixteen but knowing you'll be dead within a couple of years? Angst! Drama! Robots!

[popculturebuffet]

Darkwing Double Feature: The Quiverwing Quack and Paint Misbehavin (Paint Misbehavin Comissoned by WeirdKev27)

Greetings darkwings of the night! It’s time to return to our daring duck of mystery for a third double feature! This one’s been a longtime coming.. as in since around black friday when I did a comissions sale. As usual Kev was my only customer and he bought both Splatter Phoenix episodes... and I shamefully admit this one has sat in my queue for a while as I wanted to finish the justice ducks retrospective first, as I also wanted to cover Quiverwing Quack’s first appearance, on my own time, and I wanted to save doing any Negaduck till I got done with Justice Ducks.  And that’s where errors were made, as I PAUSED said retrospective forgetting I both had this review sitting in my queue, and that I really didnt have that much left to go on it. SO yeah this took WAY longer than I usually do for a commission, and I apologize for that and i’m happy to correct it, with this, along with the freebie I gave him at the time, coming out tommorow i’ll finally be caught up and promise this won’t happen again.  So with my needed apologizes out of the way, let’s talk about why this is a double feature. Simple: Paint Misbehavin is Quiverwing Quack, Gosalyn’s superhero alter ego’s, only other appearance on the show. It would appear in the comics.. in a fashion.. but we’ll get to that. So it dind’t feel quite right covering one without the other, especially since this version of gos is a fan faviorite of many. So does our  archer live up to the hype? Let’s get dangerous under the cut and find out. 

The Quiverwing Quack:

This.. may be the best Darkwing i’ve seen so far. There is some competition of course, but this one is easily the frontrunner. It’s hilarious, has a really great and intresting plot, few faults, and is just.. about as good as this show can get. I could end that here but I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t, so let’s get into why. 

The episode starts with a fairly typical day for Darkwing: Fighting Negaduck, hilariously as always, and mocking his arch enemy for only being Public Enemy #2 behind Dr. Slug, an oft mentioned but never seen in an actual episode villian that’s apparently one of DW’s deadliest foes. So already we have a great motive for Negaduck, who usually just has the motive of “destroy darkwing’ or do evil, though to the show’s credit, just looking at the summaries for his other eps alone, they NEVER ran out of ideas for the guy or forgot he was as clever as he was ax crazy. 

But just as he’s about to beat darkwing, Gosalyn arrives with an archery set Launchpad purchased for her and easily holds him down. And rather than be greatful Drake is mad at her and feels the arrows are too dangerous which.. fair those look to be real arrows but not the time or place.  Gosalyn however is angry her dad stopped her and is chafing both under his overprotectivness and feeling this is about ego, creates her own crime fighting alter ego Quiverwing Quack, dragging Honker along as her sidekick Arrow Boy. He dosen’t WANT to get into hero work, but he’s afraid she’ll pulverize him if he dosen’t. HA HA.. GET IT.. BECAUSE SHE’S A GIRL AND IT’S NOT LIKE GIRLS CAN ABUSE BOYS HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAA

Yeah as you can tell that bit hasn’t aged well and is the one down note in an otherwise great episode. And I do mean great. Because this essential conflict works perfectly and is expertly built on what we’ve already seen of the characters. 

For starters Gosalyn forming her own hero identity feels like a natural evolution of her character. It genuinely feels that, given her love for adventure and of her dad being a superhero, that she’d take the next step in wanting to follow in her footsteps and put on her own costume eventually. Her making her OWN rather than something derivitative of darkwing also perfectly fits both her anger at her dad’s overprotectivness and her own individual nature. The costume itself is.. okay pretty simplistic, with an early green arrow style hat and some gloves and boots.. but while I didn’t like it at first It’s grown on me a bit, as I realized it feels like the kind of a costume a kid would throw together and given Gosalyn dosne’t have her dad’s backing, it makes sense the costume would be slapped together. Grante dit dosen’t explain her trick arrows, but given we’ve seen gosalyn is pretty talented and that she can easily acess Darkwing’s lair, it’s not a huge stretch to say she went into her dad’s lair while he was gone, took some suplies and made the arrows herself. 

And i’ll freely admit i’m a sucker for a good archer hero as Hawkeye is easily one of my faviroite superheroes. Which granted is a sentence I know will probably baffle anyone who hasn’t picked up a comic with clint, or has but it was written by brianmicheal bendis, as in the movies up to Endgame you could easily replace him with a block of wood with a purple h painted on it and no one would notice the difference. And other archer heroes like Arowette, Speedy, Kate Bishop, Arsenal and Green Arrow are also on the whole pretty fucking awesome, as is the Young Justice Cartoon version of Artemis and the JLU version of Green Arrow. So this was kind of a slam dunk for me and the fact Gos’ costume comes off as a combination of Hawkeye and Green Arrow, having Ollie’s hat but Clint’s purple color scheme and gloves with no sleeves aesthetic, just makes me all the more on board for this. 

What truly makes the episode though is Darkwing, whose internal conflict is masterful to watch. While his being overproective isn’t anything new to the show, this episode takes it in a more dramatic directon: While there’s still a few jokes the episode gives some very painful reasons why he’s like this: He dosen’t want to loose his baby girl, both figuratively in her growing up and becoming more self sufficent.. and literally in her dying. It’s a terror any parent faces and it makes him sympathetic: While he IS overreacting at times and would be better off training her and helping nurture her while still keeping her safe, so when she DOES run off to do her own thing she’ll be ready, you can’t blame him for not wanting that, for wanting her to just stay home, stay safe and stay ALIVE.  The comics, which i’ve read some of and will cover here at some point, make this hit HARDER as during the second arc, where we meet a bunch of Darkwing Ducks from other dimenisons.. and one of them is Quiverwing Duck. You can probably guess just by the name what happened to his Gosalyn after years and years of working together. 

So the risk .. is very real. Loosing her is VERY possible. Being a kid to teen superhero is a VERY dangerous line of work as with less experince and being a possible target if you have any mentors, and sometimes you genuinely DON’T make it. Cypher, Jason Todd Robin, Ultimate Peter Parker, Synch, Danny Chase, Kid Devil, Skin, Wallflower, Icarus, Genisis.. the list goes on, and on, and while MOST of them came back even then the ones that did didnt exactly lack in scars: Jason was never the same after the joker’s beating and Doug, Cypher, had severe trauma he never adressed. The danger Darkwing fears is VERY real.. but is a danger she faces ANYWAY by rushing in and acompanying him. The tragedy is traning her would at least give her a fighting chance as it’s clear from the above that Quiverwing Duck’s Gos died not because she wasn’t ready or because her dad din’t train her.. but because , like MOST of the heroes above.. she died a hero saving the world.  And the show recognizes this even if it doen’t mention the death because the show has to have limits and it was the early 90′s, wiht Darkwing’s fears also being that she’s growing up. He knows sh’es capable of this.. he’s just tearful she’s growing up.. and that she could be gone. It puts his overprotectiveness from other episodes in a much more understandable light, and makes it clear that while it comes from a good place it’s not really healthy: As the episode shows, Gosalyn thinks ALL he sees of her is a baby to be coddled and protected and not as her own person, and while he’s right to protect her.. he’s gone so far in it and in dismisisng her again, and again AND AGAIN, that he’s given the poor girl a complex. Leaping into danger alone isn’t the answer.. but when we get to the climax of the episode you can see why it’s gotten this bad. It’s suprisingly layred for what’s normally a pretty simple character conlficts. Here there’s no easy answer and even while by the end Darkwing’s accepted she’ll be a hero someday and both earnestly apologize, ther’es no real resolution. And sometimes.. that’s okay. It’s something they could’ve revisited had the series gone on and we did get at least one sequel episode at least and the comics do explore the issue of gosalyn being a kid hero and drake’s overprotectiness, with his issues there being why he retired and ended up badly straining his relationhip with gosalyn and ending , for a while, his friendship with launchpad and relationsihp with morgan as well as his costumed career. But obviously as I said we’ll get to that another day. But as an episode.. this one is truly excellent and one of the best the series put out, with plenty of humor but the more complicated dynamics at play BUILT on what we’ve seen before, including Gos rightfuly supsecting dakwing’s against her due to his own ego at points, are what elevate it to the series best. So how’d they follow it up?

Paint Misbehavin:

This one’s in an awkard middle place, where it’s FAR better than the previous splatter Phoenix Episode but not as good as “The Quiverwing Quack”. Still it’s a pretty fun episode all together.  So the main plot is that Darkwing and Gosalyn are at cross purposes because Darkwing is overshadowed by Gosalyn, in this case at the local comic con where Gosalyn, returning to her Quiverwing Quack guise, is the big new thing while Darkwing’s practically ignored. 

Yeah no way around it this is a rehash of “Whiffle While You Work”, same basic conflict, just with suprheroing instead of a video game. So naturally at first it annoyed me especially since they had a debate over who was better, Darkwing’s old traditional hero or Gosalyn’s new very 90′s hero. This.. goes about nowhere and is just cringe inducing for me as a comics fan, whose not against 90′s characters but acknolsges the vast majority got better LATER under new writers, with the exception of some such as superboy, steel, kyle rayner and impulse, who were fresh out of the package.  Thankfully.. the episode pushes past this and it ends up being a better version of Whiffle While You Work, as Drake isn’t as overbearingly obnoxious as he was there: Here Gosalyn is just as egotsitical, at one point trying to lead him away from a crime scene, and it’s only when they finally work as a team that they become unstoppable. It does say something though that Darkwing has genuinely grown as his objection is pure ego instead of overprotectivness like last time and he willingly lets her tag along even if he’s trying to show her up. It’s not the BEST conflict, and it ends with egos clashing, but while this part of the episode is recycled.. at least it’s recycling an episode that genuinely wasted the idea and using it better. Darkwing being jealous here is FAR more understandable as he’s been a hero far longer and while his ego is way too big for his head, it’s understandble to be a big pissy, and agian he dosen’t go nearly as far in how he treats gosalyn. He just wants to show up his own daughter and he’s shown as fully wrong for this. Not great but far better than before.  What IS great and what makes this episode fun, is Splatter Phoenix, whose even better than last time. I attribute this to the change in voice actors. While Dani Staahl was excellent.. her replacment is far better and far more notable. It’s SCTV’s andrea martin... who i’m realizing most of you have probably never heard of. 

Or know what  SCTV is. It was before both our times trust me: it was an early 80′s sketch comedy show that had a unique premise as the sketches were all programs for a fictional tv station, and there’d often be wraparounds about what was going on at the station that oftne led to sketches or impacted them: From dealing with sponser issues brought on by the Moral Majority, aliens, the russians hyjacking their signal, and forging checks from Fred Willard’s account, yes that was a plot and yes he was indeed a guest star, there was no end to the number of shenanigans in and out of program. IT was really good stuff with an all star cast: John Candy, Rick Moranis, Dave Thomas, Cathrine O’Hara, Eugene Levy, Joe Flarhety, Martin Short, and of course Martin. Even Harold Ramis was on the show for it’s first season. It was just a damn good time and if you can find the dvd’s or clips on youtube I recommend it.  My point is Martin is vastly underated and really deserves better than she’s gotten, and this eps proves it as her energy really adds to Splatter’s astetic and really fits the show like a glove and it’s a shame the show ended shortly after this episode, as it would’ve been nice to see her return in the role. But for a one shot she’s UTTERLY awesome, and Splatter gets to do far more this time as her brush has now expanded to be able to create, so we get helicopter cats, pumpkin dogs, a pink gorilla with a toaster for a head and when told superheroes always win she creates her own, absract man, with a hand for a head and a weird body and I just want to see more of him. He even skips off with Launchpad’s faivorie hero, bascally mr rodgers as a weasel, after launchpad draws the guy in. I want to see this gay couple fight crime with love and existetaalism dammit!

But yeah she’s just fun, as is her vandalism of various art works including making the dogs playing poker into skeletons.. which I now want a picture of for my room because that is nice. SHe also brings back the art shitfts from before in little ways, transforming darkwing into abstract art and to blocky art at diffrent points with her brush. And that’s what puts this episode over the other: The creativity is still there but without the whole “Honker being gaslighted” plot that I still hate to this very second, it’s allowed to be fun and fancy free and with Splatter out in the open she’s allowed to get a LOT more ambitious and thus the writers and martin get to have a LOT more fun with the gimmick. 

So while I do feel the episode’s a bit crowded, as they try to cram in both splatter phoenix and this super feud between family into the same space and both episodes would’ve been better served seperatley, i’ts so fun with clever use of the magic brush by our heroes and what not I can’t help but love it. I don’t love the climax though as splatter gets turpentine spilled on her by gosalyny and .. melts for some reason. Because she’s made of paint now even though that was never a thing before? Not to mention the fact our heroes just killed a person...

So yeah the ending’s a bit wonky but it’s a fun episode with the return of a great villian, a decent of played out main conflict and some great gags and fights in it. All in all i’m glad I got comissioned for this one and finally tackled it. Good stuff.  So that does it for this. We’ll be back to darkwing next week just in time for valentine’s day.. and back with Negaduck too. Until then it’s been a pleasure.