#anyway the philosophy i try to live by is that i only work outside of business hours for actual important shit

[lynne-monstr]

someone tried to put a 6pm meeting on my calendar today and I immediately hit "decline"

[lefarte]

Can i ask how funger 2 or 1 characters which you can choose react to an enigmatic reader who is a yellow mage who makes very smooth moves like pure silk while also holding a very calm and nonchalant expression?

Yeas :3 I’m catching up with some of the older requests in my inbox

Abella

She’s enthralled by your mystery… it makes her think of a romance story.

She doesn’t know much of anything about yellow mages so she’d be making up fantasies in her head. And her crush on you makes her think of you as way stronger than you actually are. “Do you live in a castle?… have you ever flown through the sky?… Can you shapeshift?” “😐?”

Abella wants to try dancing with you. She’s actually pretty good, and can hold a rhythm well. Though she’s not perfect, she’s moreso happy to blow off steam. It’s been years since she last danced, and she’s never danced with anyone but her little siblings.

As the war picked up, things were so dour that she forgot what it was like to have a crush. She gets giddy easily. Like sometimes she’ll be outside pacing or lying on the bed kicking her feet because she feels like a girl again.

She likes that you’re kind of stoic. It makes her feel extra special if she can get you to talk, or especially to smile.

Abella would take some interest in learning magic, but ultimately have little talent for it, which frustrates her. But, she is okay with her fighting in the front and you staying behind doing magic. She’s a little insecure about way of fighting being less… elegant. But if it works, it works. She’d rather not fight unless she has to, anyway.

I can see her picking you up and throwing you so you can do a cool little landing and impress people. She’ll also carry you on her shoulders like a parrot. Basically I can see her just manhandling you in general, picking you up and giving you surprise hugs and kisses.

Pav

Pav doesn’t like people who don’t react to him.

He also doesn’t like magic or magic wielders in general. He used to be firmly against the idea of magic existing, though things have changed, of course. I still imagine him being cautious. You have a weapon that he doesn’t understand, and he doesn’t like that.

After a while he understands that you won’t attack unless provoked. He still can’t help but test that line though. Would you kill him if he threatened you? Mocked you? Threatened someone else? …Poked you?

After a few minutes of conversation he would get annoyed that his normal Bremen-soldier shtick isn’t working, and wander away with his tail between his legs.

Every encounter after that he tries to prod at you to get a reaction. After some point it stops being about asserting dominance over you and more out of curiosity. Trying to study you.

I think Pav has a very rigid sense of hierarchy, so he could very quickly acknowledge your skills, and if you were working together he would take orders from you. Quietly. He wouldn’t act deferentially towards you, he’s still going to try to pick at you. But he acknowledges that you are helpful. Helpful. That’s all.

Also I think that Pav is frightened of ghosts. The orphanage is his worst nightmare. He’s standing unusually close to you, who just so happens to be the only one able to kill the ghost girl. For no particular reason.

If he thinks that you’ll have a reaction he’ll do anything, so you can push him into the direction of embarassing himself if you want to be mean….

For example, if you fake going to grab a hat, like “oh that’s a cute hat” he’ll snatch it up out of your hands and put it on immediately. And then he’s stuck wearing an ugly hat. And your party will laugh at him.

Samarie

Samarie knows about yellow mages due to her studies. Though she has interest in the teachings, the philosophy isn’t for her. She quite likes the few mortal possessions she has, the small tethers to the real world rather than the magic she was born into.

Two similarly quiet people but both on the opposite ends of the spectrum. One nervous wreck Samarie who freaks out over everything and one completely chill you. She needs to hold you like a teddy bear while hyperventilating after every monster encounter.

Samarie could never do the danse macabre - or any dance for that matter. She’s too weak and gangly from malnutrition, all her movements are a little clumsy. She’s more of a Sylvian girl than a Grogoroth girl… if you want to dance with her you’ll have to put her on your back, or hold her bridal carry. (She’s tall but light, it won’t be a problem.)

Sometimes you will have entire conversations just by staring at each other like this 😐 and the other contestants will find it SO weird. Well, Samarie can read minds but that doesn’t count. She’s staring at your eyes the whole time and spacing out.

Sharing your magic studies! Trading skin bibles! She shows you little tricks she picked up from the Ninth Circle, and you show her things you learned from your travels!

Since Samarie was raised in captivity underground, she wants to hear everything about life outside. She gets such a calm and peaceful look when she sees the visions of your travels in your head. She will plead with you to hear all of your stories and see all of the memories from your eyes. Her heart starts beating so fast with excitement, feeling like she’s there with you.

Samarie will never be able to see the world outside, she is already reaching the end of her lifespan. She loves small things, like trinkets and souvenirs. She doesn’t smile a whole lot, but she gives you a nervous little grin.

[radiohahas]

(aged-up) hxh characters at a party

(a mix of canon and au)

this is very long so i put the rest under the cut ✂️ add any characters that i missed or your own scenarios!

--

gon: keg stand or about to jump from the roof to the pool. no one dared him, he just thought it’d be cool to try. if there is no pool, he’s doing something equally if not more stupid

killua: beer pong table or going through the stuff of whoever’s place it is, about to be told his boyfriend (gon) is about to do something stupid and always gets there to stop him just before he does zushi: losing at beer pong but trying really hard or getting hit on and doesn’t realize it

leorio: about to call it a night … but maybe one last drink? he’s done this like 6 times

alluka and nanika: they are treated like everyone’s little sisters and are unstoppable, having the time of their lives

kurapika: … has anyone seen kurapika?

morel: #1 party boy. constantly ordering more bottles from his special fancy alcohol delivery service. multiple people try to make him their sugar daddy but he is an eternal bachelor, except when it comes to—

knov: morel’s work wife/husband/life partner, who’s been in the car waiting for 45 minutes, and keeps getting texts like “come in” and “be out in 10” but again it’s been 45 minutes

pre-caa palm: a wallflower, nurses two drinks but stays until the party is almost winding down

post-caa palm: still a wallflower, but does shots

ikalgo: just happy to be there, enjoying every part of the party, undeniably tipsy, might try to dj

meruem: didn’t want to come but komugi did so

komugi: doesn’t go out often but wanted to experience a party, ready to leave at any moment to play gungi

royal guard: has a concerning drinking game going on - pitou’s winning, youpi’s losing, and pouf doesn’t care bc he’s still hung up on meruem (he also thinks all the remixes being played are terrible and tasteless)

knuckle: on the dancefloor and if there isn’t one he makes one, a happy drunk, shirt off and doesn’t know where it went

shoot: has knuckle’s shirt, sitting on the corner seat of the couch either really quietly bonding with someone or miserable, reading the spines of the books on the shelf next to the couch. might even read one. anyway, it’s knuckle who dragged him out in the first place

kite and crew: gathered around, drinking and reminiscing, playing board games (they brought their own if there are none) in the living room, trying to gently coax shoot (who is like … right there on the couch) into joining

phantom troupe: comes by only to steal a bunch of alcohol and leave; if they do stay, they join playing board games but are cheating. egregiously

hisoka: actually a wallflower, is nursing his own concoction he made in the kitchen, the most outrageous combination of alcohol known to humankind, that illumi says smells like something he once killed and forgot about when he was a kid

illumi: is literally ready to leave whenever hisoka is, or probably will before then. is also making comments about everyone’s outfits to hisoka in such an unimpressed tone which keeps making hisoka choke on his drink in amusement

meleoron: enjoys hearing the bass of the music outside the party while smoking on the balcony, will ask existential questions to anyone who’s outside long enough with him

melody:��too loud inside, on the balcony with meleoron and casually talking philosophy. will take a hit of whatever he is offers … might have even seen kurapika at some point

bisky: she is either “too old for this nonsense” or making another pitcher of sangria and trying to convince whoever has control over the music to play some oldies and classic party hits from her youth

(if kurapika is there: he’s in the middle of a debate in the kitchen, and at this point he’s just roasting whoever he’s talking to while a crowd forms around them feeling sorry for his victim. someone has to eventually grab leorio so he can administer first aid for all the sick burns lol but to also pull kurapika away bc it was getting too brutal. common phrase used when that happens is “he brought the shovel” meaning RIP to whoever even tries argue with kurapika bc he will bury you—he once roasted a member of the phantom troupe so hard no one's seen him at a party since—so it's, like, fact)

[ahsfan05]

WIP: Agathario

A/N: I'm honestly so nervous to post this lol, but I guess I have returned with some more shitty writing for you guys after about 2/3 (?) years. I have essentially abandoned my old works (whoops) but most of them were oneshots anyway. Updates will be slow. I have no one to check my grammar and I live in a country where people use both British and American versions, so I’m sorry if I confuse/combine them! I’m posting this for accountability, so that I have to post the fic and it doesn't rot in my drafts like everything else.

WIP 1: Agathario Professor/Student!AU (no magic). Basically Rio works in a bar before the semester begins and has a one night stand with a beautiful stranger (Agatha, obviously). She thinks she'll never see her again... until the first day of her philosophy class. Multichapter but I only have a little bit done.

A Very Tiny Preview of Chapter 1: Still in the process of editing!

The bartender gently muddled a sugar cube with bitters, her ringed fingers gripping the heavy glass. As she added a large ice cube, she felt the piercing gaze of the woman across from her. Pouring a measured splash of bourbon, the amber liquid cascaded over the ice, pooling at the edges. Picking up an orange peel, she dragged it slowly along the rim of the glass, twisting it before dropping it in with deliberate care. She allowed herself a small nod of satisfaction, proud of her work.

The older woman adjusted in her seat, resting her elbow on the bar and her chin lightly on her hand. The woman’s eyes remained fixed on Rio, tracking the deliberate movements of her hands as if they were painting a masterpiece. Her gaze lingered on the way Rio’s fingers curled around the orange peel, her delicate rings glinting under the low light.

“Here you go,” she said with a warm smile, sliding the glass toward her. “An Old Fashioned. Simple, elegant, timeless.” 

As the woman accepted her drink, she grazed Rio's fingers with her own. Electricity was coursing through the air as they touched, fizzling out as their hands separated. Rio is convinced the older woman must have been trying to kill her, the way her fingers brushed ever-so-lightly along the outside of Rio’s hand as she reached for the drink felt almost intentional.

The woman raised the drink to her full lips, holding Rio’s gaze. Taking a small sip, she lingered on the subtle sweetness and the complex flavors unfolding on her tongue. For a moment, she remained silent, making Rio more anxious than she cared to admit—until the woman let out a sound that could only be described as a low, appreciative moan.

“Um, what… what do you think of it?” Rio asked, trying to remain calm, though her flushed cheeks betrayed her.

“Well, sweetheart, I think the drinks here are almost as delicious as the company behind the bar.”

[statementlou]

So I see folks pointing out that Louis' circle A tattoo is more likely an aesthetic choice than an announcement of a political commitment to anarchism, and saying basically that that maybe makes him a bit of a poser and I mean- I GUESS. But I don't like to look at things that way and I don't think it's useful. As I see it the subversive sexiness of the symbols of resistance have ALWAYS been gateways for people who are drawn to the struggle in vague ways and that's GOOD. Aligning yourself with those values is good no matter the reason, in my book, especially given the wretched options available out there, but also the journey doesn't necessarily stop there. Gatekeeping queerness victimizes people who are just trying things out and starting to discover that it may run deeper than just trying on a new look who should instead be welcomed and helped along their path, and I fail to see how gatekeeping political affiliations is any different (plus how counterproductive to actual movement building is that?)

ANYWAY. What I really want to say about Louis is that while I KNOW that Louis is probably not secretly a theory reading anti-state communalist anarchist, I think that actually Louis' optimism and idealism (and his unwavering commitment to allying himself with the working class and embracing those roots) are a perfect fit for the philosophy and always have been. I know that anarchism is mostly understood as being about throwing molotov cocktails and fighting the state (and the allure of its symbols are that they signify this, a terrific aesthetic for him to choose to sign on with in my book), but that's honestly largely cartoonish stereotyping that comes directly from anti-anarchist state propaganda. That resistance is necessary in this hellscape of oppression we live in and is super important, but in its heart anarchism is only about the state in that the state and capitalism currently stands in the way of its goals. The whole point of anarchism is that it's NOT about the state! It's about being able to imagine something better than a state, it's about how we live and about how we SHOULD live, it's about HOPE and picturing something utopian and something free of the ways capitalism pits us against one another! What could be more Louis than that?

"I need you and you need me and I love that" is as beautiful a way of talking about the cornerstone of anarchism that is mutual aid as any long winded essay I've read (even if what he meant was contextually different), and I think when he talks again and again about how special the space fans have made around him is he is expressing an intuitive understanding of the importance of autonomous zones, places and moments outside of the shitty life imposed on us by the system (also a huge part of anarchist thought). Maybe I'm just being an optimist but I think that Louis DOES understand that caring for people and wanting self-determination and freedom for all and allying himself with the working class involves a certain amount of resistance to and positioning yourself in opposition to the state. Thinking the symbols of smashing that state are cool isn't meaningless; it's a CHOICE. There are other cool symbols out there and I just happen to think that feeling a resonance with certain ones is something in and of itself, even if at this moment he does not choose to start a fight with the media about it all.

[chaoticstarlightwonderland]

Soulmate AU where you can hear the thoughts of your soulmate but only when they are in the throes of despair, and you are helpless to save them. (Idea came from a Komahina fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35031382/chapters/87252490. )

Also sorry for formatting issues and for the length I typed this on my phone.

Makoto is very aware of the traumatic incidents Nagito has gone through, losing his parents, getting kidnapped etc. as a young boy he would cry to his parents for the sake of his soulmates and all they could do was hug Makoto and feel sorry for the other mysterious child.

Nagito on the other hand isn’t even sure if he has a soulmate. Makoto may have bad luck, but he has lived a peaceful life so it’s no surprise that Nagito wouldn’t be able to experience anything.

They meet when they are both attending Hope’s peak, an incident occurs where Makoto ends up finding out about Nagito’s illnesses and sets up a secret meeting to talk to the older boy about it.

Makoto would have heard Nagito’s thoughts on only having 6 months to live, and was sad and terrified about finding this out. Maybe even Nagito heard Makoto’s voice? But anyway, once they clarify things, Makoto excitedly hugs Nagito out of relief that his soulmate is alive, much to Nagito’s shock.

They decide to start up a friendship to get to know each other. They have their ups and downs. Makoto is rather taken aback by Nagito’s philosophy over talent and hope, but never stops trying to understand Nagito. Nagito in turn is impressed by Makoto’s optimistic attitude and ability to make friends with nearly everyone.

It’s not all hard hitting subjects though. The two share book recommendations (Mysteries from Nagito, whatever’s popular from Makoto). They’ll have lunch dates sharing snacks Nagito’s luck got for free. If whenever Nagito has to spend lunch in the nurse’s office, Makoto will return the favour by buying lunch from the canteen.

When Nagito meets Makoto’s mother the woman gives Nagito a big hug to make up for all the sad things she heard over the years but was helpless to do anything about. Nagito is overwhelmed. This touch-starved social awkward orphan can’t even process the sudden mum energy in his life.

He gets to meet the whole family. Nagito calls the mum “Auntie” the dad “Uncle” and Komaru “Komaru-chan” to differentiate them from Makoto. Nagito tries to be on his best behaviour but the family clearly realises that this kid has issues. But since they were already somewhat aware of his horrible past because of Makoto, they were fairly understanding. The relationship between the Naegis’ and Nagito could be worse all things considered.

Sadly the tragedy still happens, and Makoto is stuck hearing every one of Nagito’s despair thoughts, which are practically all the time now. This continues even when Makoto loses his memories at the start of the killing game. He asks the other students if they are also getting weird thoughts from their soulmates and for some of them it is the case, but not as bad as Makoto. This helps everyone realise sooner that the world outside is not in a normal state and they might have lost some time between entering the school and waking up on their “first day”.

(If Leon and Ibuki are soulmates, maybe Leon hears her music and becomes brainwashed by it. Or is at least wanting to know what happened to her)

(((Maybe that the ultimate despairs were told to be careful about what they thought when watching the killing game broadcasts so as not to let their soulmates inside catch on.)))

The finale of the killing game happens and Junko reveals herself, the ultimate despairs including Nagito check in at this point. Nagito is in awe of Makoto and all that he accomplishes. Then he hears Kyoko call Makoto the “ultimate hope” and something clicks.

It’s been a long standing issue between them about finding out why they were soulmates. Were they romantic or platonic. It’s here that Nagito decides it is neither.

Nagito was destined to become the ultimate despair so that Makoto would rise up and become the ultimate hope. Two great powers with the fate of the world between them. It was Nagito’s destiny to help Makoto show his potential and eventually defeated by the younger man.

Perhaps in UDG, Nagito wanted to bring Makoto in to orchestrate a final showdown between the two, but luck (Nagito or Makoto’s? Who knows.) leaves it so that Nagito ends up with Byakuya and Komaru instead. Nagito interpreted this as meaning that he needs to become a stronger despair before Makoto can face him. In the meantime, he can help train ‘Komaru-chan’ so she can grow stronger in the apocalypse. Basically Nagito’s actions are similar, but because he had a relationship with her before, he cares more and his actions are more about making her stronger mentally to protect herself rather than for game mechanics. He doesn’t try and trigger Genocide Jill to kill her because of this.

After the events of UDG Makoto sets up a plan to to use himself as bait to take Nagito so that they can put him into the simulation.The older man is begging for Makoto to kill him, end the great despair that is Nagito Komaeda and being the world into a bright hopeful age. It breaks Makoto’s heart to see Nagito like this. All Makoto ever wanted was for his soulmate to be safe and happy. Instead Makoto has to hear his soulmate beg to be killed so that the younger man could become some sort of messiah.

SDR2 happens and Makoto is shocked and heartbroken to see what Nagito does at the beginning of the killing game. Kyoko is the one to explain to Makoto why Nagito is acting so different. When the two met, Nagito had already realised he was going to live longer than foretold, was receiving medical treatment, and was in a more positive/safe environment than he had been for most of his life, so he was relatively mellow by then. However in the simulation he still thinks he only has 6 months to live, is suddenly thrust into a killing game with strangers that he has put on a pedestal with strict standards, he’s not going to act rationally.

(((I like to think Makoto might get a little jealous seeing how much Nagito cares about Hajime in the game, but tries to shake it off, as Nagito doesn’t remember Makoto, and the two never made anything official. Still it’s fun to think of Makoto clenching his chest, looking sad, when Nagito tells Hajime “I’m truly in love with the hope that sleeps inside you.”)))

Makoto especially took it hard seeing Nagito gruesomely kill himself, when all Makoto ever wanted was for the other to live. It’s the closest Makoto had felt to despair (without watching the brainwashing video).

When the survivors wake up from the killing game, Makoto is obv happy to see that they have all their memories and are no longer remnants. Not only that, but that they are all determined to wake up the others. Makoto is sad to leave Nagito behind, but feels better knowing that his classmates will take care of him.

When Makoto is confronted about what he did with the ultimate despairs by the Future Foundation, he is accused of only doing this cuz his soulmate is involved and he should be less biassed, but Makoto argues he would do the same thing regardless because he believes in what he is doing (and we fans know Makoto is telling the truth).

Nagito’s fantasy world does not include Makoto, for the same reason it doesn’t include Hajime and Chiaki, Nagito’s emotions towards them are too complicated for this paradise.

Time continues to pass and the two are unable to meet in person until after the events of final anime. Nagito rushes up to meet Makoto, but is a lot more hesitant, as he feels lost, albeit grateful. A part of Nagito still feels like Makoto should have “defeated” him, but he knows Makoto enough as a person to realise he would never do that. And maybe Nagito believes that Makoto deserves better than a soulmate destined to be killed.

I’m not sure what should happen next. Any thoughts would be appreciated!! Thanks for reading this far!

[petewentzisblack1312]

question coming from also a third world supremacist (i think?) figuring out political ideology: how did you form yours?? i think i remember you saying you used to go off of empathy before forming a more solid worldview and i'd wanna know how to start that. apologies if i'm completely off base and you didn't say that in that case it's just nice to follow someone who's not from a first world country thank you for that

sorry this is quite meandering. i dont have a clear cut answer of a specific turning point, its just been a journey of learning ive been on as ive come of age. as for how to go about doing it yourself, id say to stay curious, but also stay skeptical. learn about the patterns that repeat in history- the way outsiders are blamed for problems, the way the world tends towards complicated answers, the fact that things are more often implicit than intentional- and be wary of them when you are confronted with an answer. remember that 'common sense' is not an edict passed on by god, its the culmination of a lot of decisions, some made with ulterior moments, so interrogate who benefits from you believing certain things that 'everyone knows'. and try to get some bearing on the theory behind certain philosophies and modes of thought. it could be a video essay, if you just need to get your foot in the door. my mentor is wary of documentaries and video essays because he thinks they can lie to you easily, but a book can do that too, especially if you think it cant! still, the audiovisual language is very easy to take at face value, and its more difficult to assess the legitimacy of a youtube video or documentary than it is with a book thats been cited by other authors a lot.

anyway, my own journey. i did in fact say my ideology is founded on empathy first and foremost. i was already pretty left leaning (but without a framework, just very 'live and let live') at that point but one of my teachers in secondary school (who ive known since my sister went to that same secondary school over 10 years prior) (hes the guy i call math dad occasionally) used the times allotted for christian education and christian family life education which were basically free periods during which were supervised by our homeroom teachers (though its not really supposed to be that) to teach the basics of anarchist philosophy (like what can or should be considered violence) to our class, and i was really engaged in that framework. there were only two people in the class who were interested in that myself included so he eventually stopped but hes always been something of a guide to my beliefs, and this introduced me to anarchism as a philosophy.

i have to say what radicalized me beyond just my love of my fellow human was curiosity. i wanted to know why the caribbean is poor. i wanted to know why certain people are mistreated. i wanted to understand racism. and it was a gradual process for me but eventually i learned that pretty much all real bigotries are systemic, but i didnt fully understand why those systems were in place until i started to understand the 'flaws' inherent to capitalism, or rather, the way its supposed to work. all these systemic injustices are in service of capitalism.

i was still quite imperial centric until fairly recently in my life though, id say like the past 5-7 years ive become more and more critical of modern empire and more disillusioned with its manifestation worldwide and as you might imagine especially in the caribbean. i hate tourism now, while it tends to be something both major parties invest in to some degree (its the liberal position). while im a little less superficially patriotic than the average st lucian, im very invested in our politics, though i find it difficult to navigate as a lay person for a myriad of reasons that frustrate me. as much as i have opinions on politics and policy, im not an economist or political scientist or commentator and have auditory processing issues that make it just hard enough to sit and watch parliamentary debates and things like that that i dont.

i would be remiss if i didnt shoutout the tumblr community for also informing my politics. ive been introduced to all sorts of people and all sorts of problems and all sorts of ideas by being on this website for as long as i have, and listening and learning and looking into things myself.

[lianecartmanstimtoy]

Sm South Park Headcanons for the characters that hold my brain hostage. (Also this is them as older teens/adults)

Kyle

-Biromantic/Asexual who just lives happily in comphet for years. He just kinda appreciates and sees the value in everyone but obviously guys just date girls. They just appreciate other men equally you know?

-King has OCD up to his god damn teeth but refuses to see a therapist because there's nothing wrong with him he's just being "proactively cautious".

-Sick kid to neurotic adult pipeline

-Very much takes comfort in the rituals and structure of Judaism

-Often ends up defaulting to mom friend despite how much his friends make fun of him for it

-He's kind of a normie. Like yeah he reads philosophy and psychology but if you try to talk to him about anything remotely indie or punk he kind of just stares at you blankly

-Basketball Guy

-Also hes the one who has a car and is exploited for it

-Does not like Stan hanging out with the Goth kids

Stan

-Closet homosexual trying so hard to be straight

-Bipolar and easily falls into deep depressive lows that he self medicates for

-Randy put him in therapy just so he could rant at the therapist about how toxic Stan is

-He believes deeply he's just a fuck up and has kind of given up on trying. Why play the rat race if your destined to lose? Might as well just party

-Gets tired of Kyle nagging him constantly

-Hangs out with the Goth Kids more and I think he and Michael become close

-He gets crushes easily but the big ones are Kyle and Michael. But Kyle's straight so that's just another reason to self destruct

-He wants to like Wendy so fucking bad. He wants to be good. He wants to be her boyfriend. He just..doesn't know how to pretend good enough to make it real

-inevitably they break up for real in highschool and it sends him into one of the deepest lows of his life

-After this he gets insanely drunk and kisses Kyle but Kyle just assumes he's out of it and never brings it up again because he doesn't want to embarrass Stan. This drives Stan mental

-His parents seriously discuss military school and Stan is considering just joining out of highschool anyways

-He's just a body why not put it to work

Eric

-HOMOHOMOHOMOHOMO ANY PRONOUNS GENDER FLUID HOMO

-So very insanely closeted out of fear of being rejected

-Kenny knows

-On anti psychotics that he regularly forgets to take

-Writes explicit fanfiction about him and his friends and posts them on A03 under different names

-Has a Twitch stream drag hustle like Finnster (initially he was using butters for this but then she came out at Margarine and said she didn't want to be a online whore because she was a respectable lady and Eric took up the mantle himself)

-Clyde is one of his regular watchers and donators but has 0 idea it's Eric

-Eric eventually blocks him because Clyde keeps sending him dick pics

-Kylekylekylekylekylekylekylekyle

-He wants his attention so bad it's insane

-His best friend is his mom

-They have weekly spa nights and watch romcoms and dating reality tv together

-He taught her a skin routine

-He has sent in online auditions for Kidzbop multiple times

-Kenny was his first kiss and first time

Kenny

-Any Pronouns genderfluid bi king

-Mostly gets He/Him'd by his friends but brushes it off

-Has done his rounds in the school but no relationship has ever lasted long

-He has a tendency to let himself be used as he sees his service and time as the only thing he can offer other people (this extends to his friends as well)

-Sweet goofy persona that quickly turns dark if someone really fucks up (this happens rarely but they're terrifying)

-She works as a mechanic apprentice outside of school and has a cobbled together motor bike she built herself

-Flirts with everyone and craves touch and affection

-Kind of one of the only people who genuinely likes Eric and sees past his bullshit

-The friend who knows how to get things

-Was Elated when Margarine came out and wants to be her boygirl wife so bad

-Microdoses some back alley E as a treat

-Only ever really hangs out with Stan when Stan wants to party

-Despite being friends with everyone Kenny often feels incredibly isolated and lonely

-Everyone calls him when they need something but who does she call when she needs something.

Michael (Goth Kid)

-he/it, stealth trans, just IDs as Queer

-Jewish but insanely quiet about it

-Used being goth initially as a way to distract kids from making fun of him for his heritage. Now he's in deep

-Very vocally loathes Eric Cartman and will beat him

-Cane is passed off for aesthetics but is a needed mobility aid for joint issues

-The older goth kids are an acting Polycule but will date outside of each other

-He starts to get close to Stan and enjoys how real he feels.

-Has a contentious relationship with Kyle and how he kind of morally lord's himself over Stan and others

-Doesnt have much of a relationship with his parents. His mom and dad are separated and although he lives with his dad his father regularly travels for business so he often gets the house alone to himself.

-Secretly takes a lot of comfort from his dad's old records

-He also has a secret hiding place in some abandoned sewer pipping where he goes to get away from everyone including his friends. Stan is the only one who knows about it

-On a first name basis with a lot of the unhoused people in South Park and will hang out with them as well

-He has a black kippah for holidays or temple (though his father rarely goes to temple anymore

(I will write more for others later this has already taken me an hour

[studentbyday]

And it was different because she no longer felt she was there simply to serve the dreams of other people. She no longer felt like she had to find sole fulfilment as some imaginary perfect daughter or sister or partner or wife or mother or employee or anything other than a human being, orbiting her own purpose, and answerable to herself.

existential lessons i learned from the midnight library (WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD...as well as some extra rambly writing)

It's likely that the lives we regret not living often would not have actually given us what we truly wanted from life. Contrary to our beliefs and imaginings, they may not have been the lives we actually would've wanted to live. (E.g. when Nora so deeply regretted not marrying Dan, when she so deeply regretted not keeping on with the Labyrinths, or when she so deeply regretted not becoming a professional athlete)

The regrets that circulate in my mind when I'm feeling vulnerable about my decisions for the future include regretting not taking more courses in my first year of uni, regretting not transferring to the health sciences program or even applying for it the first time around, regretting that I am not able to apply to grad school straight out of undergrad, and regretting not being able to live the uni life I would've wanted. All these regrets due to circumstances that were both in and out of my control. Perhaps these alternate lives would not have given me what I actually want from life. Perhaps it just would not have been the right time or the right path at all for me. Perhaps these would not have been the lives I actually would've wanted to live.

Perhaps even if we didn't always make the right decisions along the way and/or couldn't always take the most direct path, if we keep working with the life we currently have, we can still get to live the "perfect life" — a life we actually would like to have (which may or may not be exactly the one we would've first imagined), a life where we meet and maintain healthy relationships with the kinds of people we want to have in our lives, a life where we are deeply loved and supported, that allows us to give the same back and broadly, a life where we make the impacts on the world we want to make. It's possible that that would be a life we could have had earlier if we had made different decisions, but those may have been decisions we understandably would have never thought to make back then, given our circumstances. And that's okay because even though we only have one life, perhaps we get multiple chances to get it right, contrary to popular belief. (E.g. at the end when Nora found out that her brother Joe had found Ewan in multiple lives and had a happy relationship with him; all the major things Nora contemplates doing at the end of the book that she had actually done in the alternate lives she found fulfilling, even the idea of saving up for a master's in philosophy)

The guiding adults I've had in my life have always told me to trust in the future, that everything will fall into place when it is the right time for me. In recent years, I have found it especially hard to believe as one thing after another went wrong or fell so far short, both things that were in my control and outside of it. But perhaps this is what they meant when they told me this.

We each have our own book of regrets we could do away with and ideas of lives we want to live. There are also lives we never thought to want for whatever reason. It's not possible to literally try all of them, but the only way to learn is to live. You need to use your imagination to open up real possibilities and try “as many lives” as possible. Anyway, most of what we'd feel in any life is still available. “Love and laughter and fear and pain are universal currencies.”

But you may realize that in “trying different lives,” you lose your sense of who you are. Look within you to remember what worked for you and what didn't. You may even look at your “book of regrets” to do this.

Look for the “books” on the higher and lower shelves. “The books on the higher and lower shelves are the lives a little bit further removed. Lives you are still living in one universe or another but not ones you have been imagining or mourning or thinking about. They are lives you could live but never dreamed of.” They're not the most obvious lives, but that doesn't mean they are unhappy lives. You might not feel called to a certain road but that road could still lead you to a life you can be satisfied with. This isn't necessarily settling. This isn't about settling. It's about learning what kind of life you want to live by actually living. And if you find that you don't actually want a certain path, whether it was an obvious path or not, that's okay too (because of the next point.)

Forget what society tells you you need to have a happy life. A happy life is a life with potential. You always have a lot of potential. As long as you're alive, you have potential. It doesn't matter if you've already tried many different things and have not settled, or if you've committed to a certain path, or if, whatever your circumstances, you're not living the life you want. “What sometimes feels like a trap is actually just a trick of the mind. ... While we are alive we always contain a future of multifarious possibility.”

Knowing you could be and could have been so many different amazing things doesn't have to be a cause for despair. It can be inspiring because you can see the kinds of things you could do if you put yourself to work. You may also see that the life you had been living actually has its own sort of logic to it.

Kindness is a strong force. Where have you felt that in your life? Life with kindness, big or small, is meaningful. Life with love, in any form, is meaningful. Look for a life with kindness.

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”

Never underestimate the big importance of small things. You have an impact, even if you may not see it.

“The prison wasn't the place, but the perspective.”

“It is not the lives we regret not living that are the real problem. It is the regret itself. It’s the regret that makes us shrivel and wither and feel like our own and other people’s worst enemy.”

“Life sometimes simply gave you a whole new perspective by waiting around long enough for you to see it.”

[ultimateplaylistmaker]

waitttt can you elaborate on the similarities between taka and kokichi? it’s such an interesting comparison

*vibrates* YES I CAN ABSOLUTELY ELABORATE

Ishimaru and Kokichi are both white uniform wearing leaders, both of whom he see problems in society and around them and devote themselves to fixing it. They follow their own set of rules that while are completely comprehensible and understanding to them, tends to leave others in confusion. Both of them (likely) had somewhat tragic upbringings with Ishimaru living in poverty and kokichi (likely) having his own tragic backstory of his own. They're both people who when faced with a motive about keeping information secret immediately went "so we should share them all with everyone" Ishimaru unfortunately was shot down while Kokichi when being denied attempted to force it anyways because its just the right move.

Both have positions of power and ADMITTEDLY this one's more headcanon but I really think Kokichi would just straight up not like the talent system, Kokichi likes chaos and unpredictability, he would find the talent system fucking boring and I cannot be told otherwise. Kokichi's a smart boy who likes interesting things, not to mention he leads a group of people who likely aren't ultimates, you cannot tell me Kokichi would like a system that discriminates against most members of DICE.

You know who else CANONICALLY doesn't like the talent system? Kiyotaka Ishimaru, who has a LOT to say about how geniuses aren't real and how its effort that deserves to be rewarded instead. In the V3 bonus mode, Kokichi even finds Ishimaru's speeches interesting, even if he cloaks it in talk about how as an evil leader it's what he wants to destroy.

The only real true difference is that Ishimaru wants to change society from the INSIDE modeling a better behavior and enforcing change through the systems. While Kokichi wants to change society from the OUTSIDE, putting pressure on systems and actively showing their flaws as a mean to either make it bend and change, or crumple and fall apart.

So if they were able to come together under a common goal, they'd be pretty damn unstoppable as Ishimaru creates change and inspiration on the inside that can feed off the pressure and doubt that Kokichi provides. Plus I think they'd have a lot to learn from each other, Kokichi can help Ishimaru learn how to bend or even break rules for a greater purpose of changing the rules or revealing injustice, and Ishimaru can help give Kokichi a greater understanding of the inside of systems and why people would follow them

Plus could you IMAGINE those two in a debate? It would be fucking FASCINATING! I can just imagine them arguing philosophy and hegel and stoicism and the point of society and all that fun stuff as Kokichi runs from Ishimaru who is trying to give him a detention. It's a good dynamic! They're very similar people who came to different conclusions to achieve SIMILAR GOALS, I LOVE IT

Plus Ishimaru is very much not the top to just go "its just kokichi let it go" because Ishimaru is the kind of person who challenges Celeste to games constantly because he's determined to prove that by studying and skill he can beat her talent, because Ishimaru is one of the few people who sees through that talent isn't everything, he even says things like

"You(Makoto) and me, we're just normal people. We know what it means to have to make an effort."

"I figured this school would be full of geniuses. I mean, I thought everyone would be my enemy."

"So we have to work hard to build a society where those who put in the most effort are properly rewarded!"

"Effort is everything! That's the only way to fix anything in this world! And I have to prove that to all the ordinary people out there so they'll keep on trying!"

"I have to become the ordinary man who can surpass any genius!"

You can't tell me an ultimate with such an unusual mindset wouldn't capture Kokichi's attention, and you can't tell me Ishimaru wouldn't be able to see the sheer amount of effort Kokichi puts into things even if Kokichi tries to make it seem effortless. I think they could balance each other out really nicely, and push the other to improve and refine their beliefs and morality.

[blackrevell]

3, 20, 36 and 59 for the 60 OC questions. I am ready to get text-walled (and will come back with more questions after that :aon-smirk:emoji)

We'll see how brave you'll be after this wall, my comrade ;)

3. What emotion is the hardest for them to deal with?

Boredom. As only the external stimulation runs shallow, her thinking turns inwards. If she can't pick apart a business deal/car/someone's struggle/you name it, she starts to pick herself apart. Alt is a person of objective analysis and prefers to weigh in on everything, knowing ins and outs, keeping track of negatives and positives. Yet with her twisted sense of self-worth, giving herself credit for good things is a struggle. A hungry dark void is a permanent, most loyal companion of her psyche, but as the saying goes — don't stare into it too long, or it will stare back. She needs something (or someone) to keep her internal eye away.

20. When they’re sad or upset, do they need company or some time alone?

Alt would say she needs a moment alone, but it couldn't be further from truth for the reason described in #3: staying alone with her thoughts for too long leads to her mentally devouring herself. A quiet evening with a friend or loved one by her side is good. When she doesn't have anyone for company, she goes for long drives outside the city (see, searching for external stimulus to distract her again). But if she's got the drive and the company to share it with? Perfect, she will patch herself up in no time, find solutions to your troubles, solve global problems and conquer the world.

36. Do they own items that have sentimental value?

Lots of those! For someone who strives to be a mind-over-heart person she is quite sentimental. A little box of printed photographs that she got throughout the years, starting from her times in New York; rarely looks through them though (because someone is afraid of getting into feelings too much). The key from Quadra "Nightwing", which is the only thing she got left from her treasured car. A pile of her little journals where she used to sketch people and machines (the ones she thought she'd never have the chance to actually build one day) during the quiet hours of her work at a bar. One of those journals has a lock of Kurt's hair hidden among its pages that he doesn't know she picked up when he got the bravery to shave it off. Her obsession with sunglasses is sentiment-driven too: when she had to flee New York after the Family Accident™, she stole a pair of sunglasses from a corner store stand, trying to hide herself from unwanted gazes. It was senseless in a way that it wouldn't save her from being recognized by whoever would look for her — technology is way too smart for it even nowadays — but even the most trivial thing to hide behind made her feel safer when she was essentially on the run from the entire world. Fear of being detected has been long gone, but the sunglasses remained.

59. What would they want to be remembered for?

She wouldn't want to be remembered, and neither does she believe in the concept of "being remembered". Within her philosophy, one ends with their passing, and everything left behind is a complex, ever-shifting mosaic of people's interpretations not worth any concern, since there's no control over it anyways. "There was a time when I didn't exist, and there will be a time like this again. I am a consequence of one accident, error in the code. And whenever my time comes, I will be back from 1 to 0. I lived, I made choices. But the code will run forth without me. The simplicity of life. Don't complicate it."

[book51ut]

Review of Ecce Homo by Friedrich Nietzsche

A silly read for sure. This book was Nietzsche’s last before he fully went mad, and that is evident in his self confidence and the general ridiculous nature of this endeavor. He goes from claiming that he never reads reviews of his books to discussing, in detail, reviews that he read of his books. He spends pages and pages hating on Germans and women in a way that is, dare I say, cunty as fuck. This book was kinda about nothing except how excellent he is so its very easy to take it all with a grain of salt.

That being said, there were plenty of beautifully written or incredibly well said lines. 

“Knowledge, saying ‘yes’ to reality, is just as nevessary for the strong as cowardice and the flight from reality — the ‘ideal’ — is for the weak, who are inspired by weakness.”  I think this is such a great sentiment espeically in regards to interpersonal relationships and our relationships with ourselves. I don’t think striving for ideals in society is wrong, but when we are constantly expecting “ideal” versions of ourselves and others, we will often fall flat on our faces and get hurt. Bettering oneself certainly involves facing our own realities and taking steps from there. Too often, people want to “better” themsleves and don’t really do anything and then go “well I worked on myself and now I’m perfect and beyond reproach” 

He also wrote “I am by far the most awful human being that ever lived. However, that does not mean I will not also be the kindest,” which I also love because I think it just speaks to the whole “we contain multitudes” cliche. We try to create the best version of ourselves, when, in reality, we are a whole lotta things all at once. To deny our jealousy, sloth, wrath, gluttony, pride, etc, is to deny parts of oursleves that all of us have. Its ok to have those things, and in fact you’re probably better off it you spend less time repressing them and more time analyzing how they impact you and the people around you (not to get all Jungian.)

Where I seriously disagree with him is his belief that everyone who acts for the greater good of society is only running society into ruin. He really believes that self importance and full surrender to the ego is the way to live the happiest and most unbothered life. Obviously, he was probably really shitty and annoying to be around with that mentality. I’ve met people who think that way and really all they do is make everyone else’s lives worse and I don’t really think they make their lives much better by doing so. 

The introduction made a really interesting comment that his work is often associated with right-wing Nazism, but that is not really the full picture. He in fact openly despised the Nazis, but his main editor during his many periods of prolonged illness and madness was his sister, a woman who was married to a Nazi. I think its important to view his work through that lens and with that knowledge. That certainly doesn’t absolve him of all of the sentiments expressed in the book, but certainly some of them were warped by outside forces and we will never really know his exact wording on certain topics. Also, he was batshit insane and it was  Germany in the 19th century, I didn’t go into the book expecting a woke icon and it is pretty easy to push his discussions of women aside and focus on the philosophy because, like I said, he mostly rambles anyway at least in this book there’s no strong argument of his thesis that uses any problematic evidence if that makes sense. Its not like “ my thesis and all of these examples of how women prove my point”. Its like “my thesis. Also women and germans fucking suck have you ever thought about that” 

I also struggle with the fact that I can’t speak and read every single language. I read a version translated into English and I know I’ll never FULLY get it and read it as it was written unless I read the German. 

[pvnktimez]

The Tao of Pooh, a book review

Welcome to a world of childhood nostalgia and ancient wisdom, where Benjamin Hoff guides us through the magical 100 Acre Wood we all know and love with a special eye for life’s simple pleasures. 

What’s this got to do with Tao? If Uganda Knuckles doesn’t know the way, how can I expect Pooh Bear to? 

These are great questions, I hear ya. I hope the idea of ‘ancient wisdom’ doesn’t scare you off, dear reader. This is no intellectual textbook. It reads very much like a slice of life with Pooh and his buddies ol’ pals. This is the perfect pair to a Sunday morning cup of coffee. I spent many dozens of minutes drinking in a few pages, enjoying the classic story-book illustrations while listening to the rain pattering on my window before catching the bus to work this winter. 

I think Hoff’s ability to seamlessly thread core Toaist tenants throughout classic excerpts from A.A. Milne’s O.G. Winnie the Pooh stories make for a wonderfully smooth read. The chapters are easy to digest, the tales are fun to follow along, and the cultural lessons are insightful for fellows new and old to Chinese philosophy. 

Nature follows its own laws, which frankly have very little to do with the willings of humankind and the societies we’ve constructed. By listening to the way of the natural world, it’s here supposed that our experienced lives may be orchestrated in closer harmony with the universe at large. The whole point is trying less, an idea against our hyper-productive society. 

This is funny because ‘going against the grain/stream’ is a common punk rock notion, but the thing is that punk rock is pushing against society and it's important to understand that society is not the grain or the stream. Society is the thing that has paved over the grasslands and damned the streams from free flow. Or, maybe it’s the capital incentive, and society can actually work along with the stream. 

Maybe we can stop trying so hard to damn it. 

In this book, Hoff takes the friendly characters of Winnie the Pooh and relates them to the various human conditions we see around us. As he puts it most concisely, “You might say that while Rabbit’s little routine is that of Knowledge for the sake of Being Clever, and while Owl’s is that of Knowledge for the sake of Appearing Wise, Eeyore’s is Knowledge for the sake of Complaining About Something”. 

Yanno, I’ve heard people relate the conditions of these characters to various mental illnesses, too. Piglet to anxiety, Eeyore to depression, Rabbit to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and so on. Such a theory is rather compelling, although mental illness seems to also be a state of human conditions gone haywire, extreme, or maladapted. Are we not all susceptible to any of these traits? Who hasn’t related to these characters - to the ego satisfaction of complaining about our day, or the puff in our chest when we get an info dump to our friends? 

The biggest lesson of the Tao seems to be to learn how to live our life directly from our own experiences, not what other people tell us is right, from books or any other kind of content, like Tik-Tok. Isn’t it ironic, how here in the Western World there is a book suggesting we put the book down, go outside, sit down and commune with the wind? 

This was written in the 1980’s. As the internet has continued to develop, our obsession with knowledge and information has only grown, not without both benefits and pitfalls. In my perspective, it seems more important than ever to remember to touch grass as often as we listen to our phones yap about nonsense. This book is one of those reminders that I’m appreciative of. Aren’t we trying to dream of a new world for our future generations to live in? How do we transform a world when we’re too busy running away from it? Anyways… 

If you’re fed up with the state of things, this just might be the book for you. Traffic is too trafficky? Overwhelmed with going here and there and to and fro but you don’t feel like you’re really getting anywhere at all? Do you dream of dozing off in a rocking chair on a commune porch in the middle of a hot summer afternoon, ice melting in your tea from the sun, which you’ve forgotten all about during your snoozing? Are you *pinches my thumb to my index* this close to quitting your job and burning a bank down? Do you depend on social media to get half your socializing in, but despise the algorithm and advertisements to which we are at the whim and mercy of? 

Maybe Pooh has some answers for you. Maybe the path of pathlessness which he wanders down might be a nice change of pace for you to meander with. We live in some pretty crazy ass times, and maybe a new approach is calling. Come see what’s going on at the 100 Acre Woods, have some tea and a slice of pie, and get comfortable with doing nothing for a while.

====

originally published in issue 02 of Punk Times, when it was still under the title 'Underground'

[starsdailyjournal]

Funfacts!!

I think I am a lot of things, personally (gay (hmu ladies)) and I wanted to boast about what a cool gal I am! And since my account is sort of about mental health I wanted to tell yall about some of the things I've faced as someone who has had a poor one for most of their life because 1 I like to talk about myself and 2 I want more people talking about the less discussed parts of mental health because everyone deserves to tell their story without having to feel like their's is too gross or different.

Lemme start with some red flags

I TWEAK over adopt me like I spend real money and time on that game it's unhealthy

I was gonna start and internet based cult and become a diety so that I could fake my death and ask for offerings before I go (adopt me pets) but I gave up

I have 5 stick and poke tattoos I did with no tutorials (they look super cool (they dont))

One of those tattoos are vampire bite marks (I did yesterday its the best decision I ever made)

I never EVER use tutorials I wing it every time with everything like I cut my own hair with scissors from the kitches without even LOOKING AT A PICTURE I just hope it looks cool and emo and that my bangs will make me partially blind

Whenever I do wing it, it always works out (im a god)

I LOVE LOVE LOVE VAMPIRES hellsing ultimate is my fav anime ever and nothing can top it

I love the winter it's my fav season because it's so gloomy

I dress scene but I use only emo colors and I listen to only gabber and scene (my guilty pleasure is some pop)

I don't even look that scene because I can't go shopping BECAUSE IM BROKE and my mom thinks shes above thrifting (she lives in a one bedroom apartment infested with cockroaches) and my dad is always busy. But I diy all the rips in my clothes and try to do the best I can!!

Honestly my style doesnt need a label because idrc abt those I just wanna do what I wanna do frfr

I don't take my own advice sometimes

I'm a vampire

I'm pan in the worst way (I only care abt looks IDGAF abt gender)

I value looks A LOT

I hope that was red enough but here are my green flags!!!

I'm really smart though I don't look it at all (stereotypes are funny with me because I'm indian and REALLY alternative)

I'm really good at specifically math (because of trauma)

I'm trying to better myself

I LOVE MINECRAFT (and roblox but minecraft a little more)

I love to write

I love philosophy (I also hate it for moral reasons)

I like to draw a tad

I'm not british

I'm wise as hell and people should listen to my advice more frfr

ADHD (its a green flag idc)

I LOVE BFDI AND INANIMATE INSANITY IM AN OG BFDI FAN IVE BEEN WATCHING SINCE FOREVER (2016)

I love to read (but not digitaly it makes it weird)

I love spending time with my family (97% of the time)

I love money (its a GREEN flag to me (your so funny stars! (IkIk no need to aplaud) *applause*)(*blushes cutely*))

I'm so funny

i have 30 dollars saved up (pls dont mug me!!)

Anyway I'll make posts on stuff like mental health, stuff I find funny or interesting or cool etc but I need to change out of this hoodie im getting way too sweaty

Edit: I'm not recoloring this post bc its rlly annyoing to do it and like I can't even seen anything outside of dark red and black on my laptop so like

[cle-news]

Just for information. I may be a monkey. But for some reasons wich is hard to explain to a monkey. I don't deserve to die in any case. So, becarefull of what kind of shit you put in your brain !

Maybe we should close the public debate !

(Undercover Unlisted Mormon who had Thug printed on his face, and deadly teachers, who can't understand that you get what you saw. And that you should not administrate an "unrecoverable" death sentence to a child, especialy when he is an undercover genius, who's been ask to look like a thug because of the system. And likes S&M since it stay a good game. Those clowns are realy special in fact ... - I love you too ... Keep people up, so they can give the best of themself... It's a philosophy ... - Luckily we try to not make more of dem anymore... So if you are an Unlisted Mormon Genius, you're not a thug, you are a Dark Rabbit and realy should stay that way...)

Anyway, I think I had enough ! And now I surely don't deserve to die in any case. Cause I can't even use my cover anymore and still an unlisted mormon, even more than before ! So, becarefull of what kind of shit you put in your brain !

Does Larry Page and Sergey Brin should be kill ? I have the right to ask a question ... You've got 40 years ...

The answer is : don't even ask the question ! GOD DAMN IT ! So, if it's OK for me. You've got 40 years... Of public debate on the fact that we should or we should not killing you ! Have you been a good Christian from the age of 2 years old to 40, while living in hell ? At least you've got money...

I think we should focus on today...

Yes I konw. I need to relax... I work on it. So no assault on me for a moment... Exept if you accept to be charge responsable of the non leathal consequences that you'll get. Cause I'm actualy innocent and desurve retributions and surely not more "death". As we agreed ?

Does Larry Page and Sergey Brin should be kill ? I have the right to ask a question ... You've got 40 years ...

Anyone Who says "Are you sure ?" to someone who says "no" outside of a court (or in a without death penalty country) should get my place, untill enough ones tells it for him ! (Exept for sarcastic purpose, of course, there's some exeption) Or untill he swears to never tell it again and wait 1 years. I'm still alive after 20 ... (That's not so bad... ?! Goood, you don't need an exeption for you) (And that's an important Rabbit report...)

Of course, anyone who say "yes" can be charge for "Murder Incitation". And anyone who trys to make it happens ... I'm not JFK ?! No I'm JFK24. But it's basicly the same today...

Ps "We are not killing him, we just bully him to death !" The court is this way red-handed deadly bully ... When I thought that even in the future, most of them will only get a ticket and an appropriate loss of money relativ to victim harm compensation...

[yeonhanneul]

Makeup: A routine.

I think it started on the beginning of my third grade. I remember that time, Cinta, a friend of mine, talked about how she wishes she had a friend who is passionate about make up as she is to it. Me and Cinta, that time, mostly talks about small philosophy of things around us, ahem, and skin care. But never make up because I haven't discovered the joy of using them.

When I first think about makeup, is it okay for me to do it? I mean, the whole life, I'm so exposured by traditional gender culture. I've always been taught that make up is only for the girls. Although, at that time, I know for sure that there are men who do make up, like cosplayers and K-Pop Idols. Still, this question made me unsure on trying make up for the first time.

I think I was still unsure about trying one until I reached Ricky Choi's YouTube channel. He's a Korean man, who lives in Vancouver, who talks mostly about fashion, beauty, and lifestyle. I started watching his videos just by curiosities, and then seeing him enjoying doing make up, I thought to myself, why don't I try some and see whether will I enjoy it or not? So, I did.

It's a bit embarrassing to remember this lol. I finally bought a drugstore foundation. It was from Wardah's and it has a mate finish. The shade actually matches with mine, but because I thought that I should use it the same way I use my moisturizer made it seem like I'm wearing such a heavy product on my face. And the funny thing too, lol, up until now, that foundation has not been empty yet.

I told Cinta the next day that I'm starting to do make up now, not just skin care and she was like "Omg, omg, finally someone to talk about make up with," lol. But it was still the very beginning of my make up journey.

Not long after, my father gave me some voucher from the company he works at, and I thought to myself why not buy some make up to add to the collection? I later on asked for some recommendation from Cinta and decided to buy a concealer and a foundation powder and this very part is where all of it really started, I began to wear makeup daily.

Ever since I wear makeup daily, I started to wake up earlier in the morning to leave some 15 minutes for makeup and skin care routine. The area underneath my eyes is a bit dull and darker so doing concealer every morning, without me realizing it, has become a routine for me. As someone who has big pores and oily skin too, that powder foundation has really helped me to tone them down and since I bought a compact powder foundation, I brought it to the schools too and do touch ups during the second breaktime. And without me realizing it, I think that time, I have built a dependency on makeup.

All thanks to Eygist, a friend of mine who I've always known for being the girl with most healthy-looking face. She is that skin girl you know, she knows what she's doing to her skin, and she knows that she did them all to make her happy the most importantly. I think she started to realize I developed dependency on makeup was when I told her that I'm not confident to go outside without any makeup on. It was so hard at time to think of myself being seen with my large pores, my acne scars, and my dull face. So, she told me, "Stop doing all of those makeup, they're supposed to make you feel as you are, not to make you feel uncomfortable for being who you are.".

It is still a long way to go through. I would lie to her on some days when I wear makeup, I told her no I don't or I only told her that I only wear a little bit concealer underneath my eyes, but in reality, I wear them all over my face because my acne is really making me insecure.

Cinta started to notice that too and she told me basically the same thing. It was funny to remember that at the first I was so unsure of wearing makeup and later on I developed dependency on it. I mean, we never know what would happen to us anyway lol.

Then arrived the holiday. I spent most of the times with family, and I feel so comfortable around them that I've got this feeling that they will just see me as fine as I am with makeup on or not.

I felt so comfortable during that time. Not putting anything but skin care does make my face happy. It felt like as if they finally getting a rest.

So, by the time school began again, I tried to limit myself from doing anything with heavy makeup. When do my make up, it was just concealer and a bit of powder along T-zones. I felt better.

And I think that I finally found the makeup style that I truly liked.

Clean makeup or so what people call.

I think, in my definition, clean makeup is a minimalistic approach to makeup that instead of trying to change your face feature, clean makeup aims to enhance the natural features that we've already had. Or simply put, my skin but in my best skin day.

And I also think that this very style is what I should do instead in most of high school years as it is very minimal and encourage you to be confident on your own face features.

I've always thought that smooth skin that has no pores are the perfect ones. But now I decided just to embrace my skin the way it is and when I use cc cream concealer on it, I prefer not to deal with it to cover them up instead, but to work with it and to make my skin seems just as natural as possible.

Lots of kudos to Haley Kim, my favorite makeup influencer on the internet.

Nowdays, I'm just confident the way I am with just putting tiny amount of concealer underneath my eyes and lips. Sometimes, I use cc creams on day I felt like it, not because I'm pressured to do it. I sometimes use brow gel too, but I'm doing them all because I'm enjoying myself.

I think that is the most important message I got from this whole makeup routine. Feeling confident starts from feeling beautiful, and feeling beautiful starts from feeling confident about yourself.

In the end, we're human. Pursuing those beauty standards is just impossible and let me tell you, there are a lot of beauty influencers on the internet who uses filters while applying makeups to make it seem as if they're perfect the way the beauty standards wanted. It is ironic as it is destroying their own self-esteem.

What I wanna do and I wish that people do from now on is that people do something because they're truly enjoying it, not because they feel pressured to do it.

Okay, thank you for reading my messy first post.