#anyway that’s part of why i take forever to post sometimes because if i don’t deem my work perfect then y’all will never see it :)

[elliesbelle]

@callmelola111 saying she’s never ever seen any mistakes in my writing (spelling, grammar, etc.) is honestly one of the biggest compliments on my writing i’ve ever gotten

[collapsedsquid]

So anyway – the reason that this is on my mind is that a lot of people tend to assume that productivity growth (the annual change in output per worker-hour, which we economists heroically assume to be representing the limitless Whiggish march of technological progress) is in some way a mean-reverting process.  Specifically, that it reverts to a trend which, since the war, seems to correspond to roughly two per cent real GDP growth per year.  Why?  Economists tend to put it down to technological progress, but personally I think it’s more likely to be pixies. Trouble is, this productivity trend used to be a very well-established empirical fact, but then it ceased to be so.  Basically, there have always been temporary deviations from the trend associated with booms and busts in the business cycle, but the deviation in the great financial crisis in 2008 never got mean-reverted.  Instead – well, look at this chart, which also shows the expectation of the consensus of mainstream economic thought, as summarised by the Office of Budget Responsibility, that the mean reversion imps would come along to do their stuff.

Something has gone on here, it would appear.  Getting into questions of policy and structure is definitely beyond the scope of this post, so let’s presume for the moment I’m right and the problem with the series is simply a lack of activity on the part of the relevant supernatural woodland spirits.  There’s basically three possibilities: 1)        This is the new normal, we’ve mortally offended the pixies and the new trend rate of productivity growth is much lower forever. 2)        We just had a run of bad luck with the pixies; there’s no particular reason to believe that they won’t come back really soon and we’ll go back to the good old 2% a year. 3)        Same as 2), but when the pixies come back, they will realise that they’ve been slacking on the job and we’ll have to have a period of higher growth to get us back to the trend. You can tell various stories with more economic content to them obviously, but I think it’s important to be clear here that the really optimistic 3) is not at all something you can rule out as nonsense.  If a country has, for one reason or another, fallen a long way behind the maximally efficient frontier, then it’s perfectly reasonable to expect a period of “catch-up�� growth, as there is more low-hanging fruit around in the form of good investments which should have been made but weren’t.  This matters to me because I think it’s quite likely that our Chancellor believes in mean reversion pixies.  Partly because, as I say, the theory of productivity as a trend-reverting process is quite orthodox (for the heads, it’s known as “the unit root debate”, for even more annoying historical reasons that don’t tell you anything at all about the problem than “regression to the mean”).  If one takes Napoleon’s maxim seriously that to understand someone’s worldview you need to think about what the world was like when they were in their early twenties, then this was, I think, the house view of Former Bank of England Economists at the start of the century.

Sometimes my post is just an inadvertent rip off post of a post someone else made that I read but partially forgot about, oops

[formulawonu]

mingyu & shopping

summary: best friend!mingyu is arguably the best thing that has ever happened to you but everyone else is in love with him so you have the lucky privilege of humbling him all the time 

a/n: i wanted to post this on mingyu day but i clearly didn’t make it ://  just a small blurb for our birthday boy. belated happy birthday, gyu. i hope you’re smiling everyday <3 also this isnt proofread sorry! also thank u for 500 followerssssss <3 <3 <3

wc: 605 😸

“not everything looks good on you, kim mingyu. reel it in a little.” 

—and that makes lie number three you’ve told your best friend today. the first was telling him how tiring it was seeing his face every morning when he picked you up (it was actually the best part of your otherwise dreary day) and the second was you telling him you didn’t care if he asked this one girl out (it bothered you more than it should have).

mingyu makes eye contact with you in the mirror and scoffs at the look on your face. “i don’t know why i always bring you along with me. you never say anything looks good on me.” he starts angling himself and squinting at the mirror, probably trying to figure out if he really didn’t look good in the outfit. 

it was funny to you that mingyu took everything you told him to heart. whether it be teasing him on how clumsy he could be to how much of a closet dork he was, his reactions to it all always made you laugh. you befriended mingyu in the fifth grade because you were the lone person who had the guts to tell him being tall wasn’t as big of an advantage as he thought it was; you thought it just made him more susceptible to being bossed around to do favors for everyone else shorter than him. he bickered back, saying you were just jealous because you were shorter than him. you replied saying you didn’t want to have his height if it meant not being able to handle the truth of the matter. 

that was the first time someone wasn’t praising mingyu for the things he was simply born with. he thought you were being real and you thought he was cute. it was the perfect dynamic to becoming best friends.

“that’s what best friends are for,” you say. you flash him a smile and he rolls his eyes. “you know i’m hopelessly in love with you regardless of how ugly you look in that sweater anyway.” 

your best friend groans then turns away from the mirror to face you. he starts striking the silliest poses at you (still managing to look good, you add in the back of your head.) he sends you a genuine smile. “i know. and i love you too.” 

your heart flutters even when you know he doesn’t mean it in the way you wished he would. you continue to watch him try on clothes, happily content with wasting away your saturday afternoon like this. 

“are you excited for our date tonight?” he asks you as he pays for his clothes at the register. 

“i’m always excited when you’re paying.” you reply.

mingyu jokingly frowns. “sometimes i feel like you’re just using me for my money.”

“okay, but who else will put up with you?” 

he reaches over and pinches your cheek, knowing you hate it when he does that. you attempt to swat his hand away but he catches it and interlocks your fingers. the cashier looks at the both of you and smiles as she hands over his bag of clothes and receipt. mingyu takes it with his free hand. “you two are so cute. enjoy the rest of your day!” you’re about to protest but mingyu simply says thank you and pulls you out of the store. 

as you walk down the street with your best friend, still hand in hand, you let yourself revel in the simplicity of the moment. this would do for now – maybe forever – as long as it meant always having kim mingyu by your side.

[mingos]

*crawls out of the ground like a mole, coughing up copious amounts of dirt*

so, hello.

    i try to keep things as vague & light as possible when referencing my homelife because, honestly, the last time i brought up anything tangentially related i was essentially told “you being upset is making other people upset and ruining the fun” so being anything other than ✨chaotic positivity gremlin wilder ✨ here makes me paranoid, hence why i’ll just disappear for weeks sometimes. 

but. 

i’ve clearly been gone for a bit, will probably be gone for a bit longer, and since i’ve been getting messages from folks wanting to check in on me i wanna give a more detailed update than usual. i feel guilty for not responding directly, but for reasons i can’t get detailed on other than “the idea of having a conversation with 99.9% of people right now is terrifying” (is this what being nonverbal is, chat?) with even the .1% being a super recent development, a queue post into the void is my solution.

i won’t get that detailed, but if light references to domestic abuse, addiction, or just family issues in general are hard subjects for you - nothing past this paragraph is too pertinent anyway, so don’t worry about having to stop. all you gotta know is that some Bad Stuff with family happened, but i’m safe & i’ll be back in maybe another week or something. 

anyways. i was living out of hotels for about 3 weeks. 

more like 16-17 days if you want to get technical because 4 of those days i had an actual scheduled hotel for my twin’s wedding at the end of august - but i’ve basically been bouncing around since august 21st. the night of the 20th, i had a horrific fight with my family member and, for the first time ever, i left. don’t know if would call it brave on my part - since we were leaving for a trip anyway, this is just the first time my suitcase was already packed.

right now, i’ve been at another relative’s house since the 11th. i tried to go back on the 1st because, even after years of this, i’m apparently way too easy to convince everything is going to be fine…  but by the 2nd i was out of there again. 

currently mulling over my next move here because, as much as the common sense answer is to stay away, anybody who’s unfortunate enough to deal with this knows how complicated it is. i’m scared for this person’s safety as much as i am for my own. no one else really checks on them, and i’ve already had to deal with several medical emergencies they’ve had like bad falls & breathing problems. i don’t like leaving them alone for long because the guilt at the thought of something bad happening to them and no one knowing for possibly days or weeks eats me up.

i logically know i’ll have to get past that eventually because i can’t let my life be dictated by this incredibly toxic cycle forever or i’ll never be happy, but now isn’t the time. they also have a dog who would similarly be put at risk if something happened to them, so it’s a lot for me to worry about.

but, having said all that, we’re currently in the apology stage or i guess the negotiation stage because, after the shit that happened this time, i’m making it perfectly clear i’m not stepping foot in that house until they do something. detox, treatment, rehab, disulfiram, soberlink, therapy – something. we’re kind of running out of things for them to try at this point, but at least they used to try. they haven’t really been doing that this past year and I’m the one suffering the most because of it.

so yeah, that’s where things are at the moment. i’m mentally not doing so hot - but I’ve got my dog, and being able to sleep in a bed i’m familiar with for a change and not a hotel (I spent so much money on hotels, guys i’m cooked) is nice relief while I wait out whatever the hell is happening. talking to them over the phone again pretty much drains any of the energy I’ve got back, but it sounds like they’re starting to "get it' so hopefully they’ll start to take this seriously again because I can really only take one more year of this (if even) until I just need to accept these things aren’t my responsibility and move on.

honestly, having a close-knit group of friends/support system for the first time in years has really reminded me of that and given me the confidence to take a lot of steps to live for myself for a change, and to think about prioritizing my own happiness for once, which wasn’t the place i was in at this time last year, or the year before that, or the year before that - so I just want to say thank you again to anyone whose ever helped talk me through something or really just been nice to me at all. this is why i always remember to be kind because it can genuinely do a lot for someone going through something, because i know it has for me.

anyway uhhhhh i hope you are all doing well, and with any luck i’ll be chilling on here by the start of october. can’t miss spooky month and this insufferable pink bird’s birthday, after all.

much love.

[softpine]

This might be juvenile, but do you have any tips on not comparing yourself to others? (Especially when it comes to note count or popularity.) I’ve been posting a story for over a year and it hardly gets any traction. It’s tough for me to see new creators post and get hundreds or even thousands of notes. I hate that I’m doing this but don’t know how to quit it!

this is not juvenile!! i struggle with this myself, especially knowing that i hit my peak years ago and i've been on the decline ever since – but only by numbers alone! i'm more proud of my story than i've ever been, i'm more attached to my characters, i'm putting more love and thought into everything, but i had to be realistic with myself and understand that i'll never pull even half the notes i did in 2020. gone are the days when i would wake up to 3 new anons about my story and dms from people every day (i can't believe i used to get overwhelmed by it...) and i would be lying if i said it didn't make me sad sometimes, because we're humans and our brains are practically wired to crave the hit of happy chemicals you get from seeing the stupid number go up 😭 it does feel demotivating. it makes me feel less urgency to post quicker if i convince myself that no one is waiting for me anyway, which means i post less, which means even less people stick around, which makes me post less, and on and on. it's a tough thing for me to come to terms with in all honesty.

but it helps to remember that i would be writing even if no one is reading. and i know that, because i have! i've written entire novel-length fics that i've never published, i've written countless short stories in the frozen pines universe that i'll never post, i've created alternate universes that will never be shown, etc. i do it because the idea is in my head and it needs to Get Out and i'm kinda just a conduit for that. that might not apply to you, and that's okay! everyone is different. the important thing is to really sit down and think about WHY you write and what you get out of it. which part of the process makes you happiest? what makes you feel a sense of fulfillment / satisfaction? play to your strengths. try not to spend your time doing things you think other people will enjoy and instead, spend more time on the things that make you happy. for me, i haaaaate editing and i always have, so lately i've been trying to speed through it a little bit quicker even if it means the final product won't be as appealing to others. (this is still a work in progress for me...) i have more fun when i experiment with different writing styles, which might not appeal to others because it takes longer and i don't really have a recognizable style, but i don't care anymore because i'm having fun! ask yourself what YOU want from your story, and then write for yourself and only yourself.

essentially what i'm saying is: there will ALWAYS be people more popular than you, and there's no guarantee that when you find the popularity you seek, you'll be able to keep it. so you need to find some sort of intrinsic motivation to continue or you'll just keep comparing yourself to others forever and you'll deny yourself the joy of creation! "comparison is the thief of joy" could not be more true!!

[oddballwriter]

A Piece of Cake

Summary: You work at a food truck that sells baked goods, dessert foods, and other such things, named The Sweet Spot, with two other people who you've grown close to. Close enough that they know about your crush on the cook who works at the circus-themed food truck that you share one stop with. They're tired of you being too shy to make a move, so they help you get the ball rolling so that you two can actually talk to each other.  

Warnings: Mentions of cakes and sugars. The reader gets teased by their co-workers a bit but nothing too harsh. Billie and Penny kind of ruining the moment while also making it a bit better? 

Author’s Snip: I love this series and I wanted to make something for the sake of having something other than two sparse headcanon posts.

Notes: Go watch BigTop Burger and support the creator WorthiKids in any way you can. This show is such a delight and I love everything about it.  

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

"I'm gonna go stretch my legs." you tell your co-workers, almost out the door but their odd, almost sarcastic-sounding 'uh-huh's made you pause. "What? We hardly get customers at this stop, and our stock of food is fine. You can handle some customers while I'm out for a few minutes, can't you?" you question.

"Oh no. We'll be fine. For sure." one of your co-workers, Daniel, says, before speaking up again. "But how come you always want to walk while we're parked at this stop instead of all the others we do?" he asks, giving you a knowing look. "Like I said, we don't get customers here. It's half past noon. No one eats baked goods and desserts at noon." you say, trying to make up to defend your reasoning as to why you want to take a walk break at this spot.

"People also don't eat dessert at 1 pm, or 2am, maybe at 3pm, but those two other spots for one and two are okay to walk at too, don't you think, Y/N?" your second co-worker, Helen, suggests, with that same knowing tone.

"What's so wrong with me walking here. It's a nice walk around this block and there's some nice looking things here?" you ask.

"I bet there are." Daniel comments.

"Quit acting dumb. We know you just want to see that Circus Burger guy you have a crush on." Helen accuses. "What? No. I mean- I see him when I walk around sometimes, and I say hi, but I don't like him." you deny, even if Helen is right on the money. "And it's BigTop Burger. Not Circus Burger." you correct, trying to make her feel dumb for getting the name wrong, but you realize that it just makes you look more interested in him by knowing the actual name of the food truck he works for.

To be honest, they don't really care about your interest in him. They just like to tease you because of how much you deny it. And also because he wears clown make-up as part of his uniform and that makes the whole idea of you two kinda silly.

You look at your co-workers with a flushed face, knowing that even if you make a whole argument that you don't have a crush on him, they would know better.

"What's his name again anyways? Tom?" Helen questions. "It's Tim." you correct, again, this time with no defense. "Well. Why don't you take something for Tim and you two can talk. Maybe work up the courage to ask for his number too." Helen offered. "Or maybe just take him something for a couple of days and then ask for his number. One of the best ways to get to a man is through his stomach." she suggests.

"What should I take, though? We have so much stuff here." you say, looking at the plethora of cakes, cookies, brownies, rolls, and bonbons, the list could honestly go on forever and so could the various flavors, looks, hybrids of said things that you carried.

"Here," Daniel says as he moves towards the display and picks something for you. It was a slice of the funfetti cookie crust cheesecake. You look up at him with a 'really?' readable across your face. "What? His job has a clown theme. He might think it's funny." Daniel explains. You glance back down at the slice in its little plastic container that your truck usually puts your slice orders in before sighing and taking it.

"Go get 'em, Y/N!" Helen cheers as you actually step out of the truck and also hear Daniel shout "Don't worry, I'll pay for the slice!" as you walk forward.

The BigTop Truck wasn't that far from yours. It was just a turn around the corner and a small stride forward. It was impossible to miss the blue-colored brick of a truck once you turned the corner. As you got closer, you could see Tim leaning against the truck, on his break. As ashamed as it is for you to know that this time was usually his break time. 'Okay, Y/N. You can do this. Just walk up to him. You've done it before.' you think to yourself as you walk closer and closer. You were so caught up in your thoughts that you probably would have passed right by the BigTop truck and Tim if it weren't for him saying something.

"Hey! Y/N, right, from Sweet Spot around the corner?" Tim greets. "Out to stretch your legs again, huh?" he says. "Yeah. Sorta." you choke out, trying to both keep your cool and lower your excitement. "I brought you something." you say, holding out the slice of cheese cake to him.

Tim takes a second to look at it. "Oh wow. That's really something isn't it?" Tim comments. "Yeah. It's... something new on our menu. Some people have mixed feelings about it and," you explain, trying to come up with a reason why you'd just give him a piece of cake for free. "I was told to have someone kind of settle the score to see if we should keep it or not?" you conclude.

"I see." Tim says. "Well, I'll see how I feel." he remarks as he takes the container from your hands.

You somewhat avert your gaze so as to not make the situation weird by watching him eat. He uses the taped-in fork and takes a few bites pausing in between chews and taking pieces of certain parts to get the food as a whole.

"It's pretty good." Tim finally says, "No doubt, there's enough sugar in here to make a blood sugar monitor explode. But still good." he comments, trying to make a joke. "Yeah. I'm sure there is. If I'm being honest, this hybrid abomination feels like a culinary crime, but you know how it is with food trucks. If it's crazy enough it gets sales." you agree smiling a bit to show that you appreciate the joke.

Tim nods and even makes a few bashes himself. "Hey. I'm pretty sure we only have one or two people who actually like our food. I think everyone else is just trying it for the sake of seeing what it's like." Tim remarks, "I mean, our burger buns literally have sprinkles on them." he adds.

You think about the idea of how that would even taste and understand that that also feels like some type of crime against food as well.

"But hey. Your truck can get away with sprinkles. That's basically the go-to strategy for everything you sell." Tim explains. "I haven't eaten anything from there till right now with this, but your stuff looks good." Tim compliments.

You see Tim try and say something else after a long beat of silence but the window latch of the truck pops open and smacks him hard in the back of the head with a faint bunk noise.

"Hey, Tim. Steve wants us to head to the next stop early, for whatever reason, so-" a person with blue clown make-up and a cap on says, speaking low and monotone voice before pausing upon seeing you and their co-worker who was rubbing the hit spot, who was shooting them a quick glance.

Another person, this time a shorter, rounder woman with pink makeup, pokes her head out. She sees you and Tim as well but she changes to a brief shocked expression and speaks, "Sorry for the interruption. Tim, take your time. I need to talk to Billie for a second.", the woman takes hold of the window door and quickly throws it down to close it, but in the process hits Tim in the back of the head again. You hear her shout a muffled "Sorry!" from inside.

"Are you okay?" you ask. "I'm fine. Just fine." Tim assures. "That was Billie and Penny by the way. In case you wanted to know," he says.

"Thanks for the cake by the way it was really neat of you to offer me some." Tim thanks. "I'll keep that as a highlight of the rest of my day. Whatever that may entail." he says as he starts to walk around to enter into the truck.

You try your best to not squeal at the fact that he just called you, well, more like the cake, a highlight in his day.

You wave goodbye to each other before he gets into the truck and you turn to walk back to your food truck. Upon getting back, you find Daniel and Helen seemingly waiting inside for you.

"So, how was your date?" Daniel jokingly asks.

"He liked the cake," you say, "And I met his co-workers." you add.

"Ooh. Sounds pretty serious." Hellen buds in with a joke of her own.

[thoughts-with-hailey]

My Life in Prythian - Chapter Thirteen

Crossing the Line

Summary: Some things shouldn't be done, and I'm gonna do them anyways

Content warning: sexually explicit

Time passed oddly when there was no work for me to do and the only things occupying my time were training and Azriel. 

Every day I woke up, dressed in my leathers, and let Cassian put my body through it’s paces. 

Every day he was a little harder on me and every day I withstood it only to leave training sore and tired. 

Every day Gwyn glared at me across the room and refused to talk to me. 

Every day Azriel made a point to brush his hands and his shadows over my body throughout training to remind everyone in the room that I supposedly belonged to him. 

Every fucking day I had to deal with the heat and the lust building inside me over those little touches knowing that as soon as we stepped out of the training room he would act his usual cold and distant self. 

It was nauseating. 

By the second week of my training I still hadn’t gotten used to the physically grueling workouts, nor the way my body seemed to light on fire every time Azriel came near. No matter how many times I told myself it was all fake and that he was just doing this to play a part, there was something in his gaze and the possessiveness of his touch that had me questioning things. 

When Rhys or Feyre visited he kept up the charade, constantly acting the doting partner much to Feyre’s amusement and Rhys’ approval, which was confusing. Rhys seemed to take this in stride, his spymaster now dating the new human that had just dropped from the sky. He even seemed excited most of the time, grinning any time he caught sight of Azriel playing with my hair or pressing his lips to my skin, both of which were happening with more and more frequency. 

Elain didn’t visit again, thank gods. Her warning still lingered in my head and I tried to pay it no mind since it wasn’t worth it, she wasn’t worth it. Sometimes, especially in the dark of night when I was left alone with my thoughts, it would creep back in. The doubt and the questions, the lingering sense of foreboding that something was lurking beyond this little oasis I had found myself in ready to pounce the moment I got to comfortable. 

Because I truly was in an oasis. 

Gone were the worries about bills and grocery shopping, about work and friends and anything else. I didn’t see my human friends often enough that they were concerned where I was and my group chats all talked often enough that I didn’t feel cut off from them. At some point Rhys had done something so all my bills were automatically drawn from his account, and he had even worked some mind magic for my bosses to think that I was still showing up for work every day. All in all I had little to worry about. It was the least stressed I had been since I moved out of my parents house when I turned eighteen. Everything was going so well, and that was why I was anxious. 

Nothing good lasted forever. 

My main fear was that Rhys would find a way to send me back to the human realm. I would leave all this behind and have to go back to that boring life that I hated every second of the day, where the only bright parts were when I was wine drunk in my bathtub or when I posted a funny meme on the internet and people laughed at it. Yet Rhys seemed in no hurry to get me to go back and no one ever mentioned it after that first week. 

Something had to be wrong, though. It was lurking under the surface, ready to destroy the little happiness I had found in this weird situation I was in. I just knew it. 

So when Rhys and Feyre came to visit one afternoon with an announcement, the feeling of dread started creeping higher. 

I was in my room just finishing up a nice soak in the tub after another grueling training session, still wrapped in my towel, when the door burst open and Azriel stepped in. 

“What the fuck!” I hissed, pulling my towel tighter around me as he shut the door behind him. “Don’t you know how to fucking knock you pervert?”

He raised a brow at that, his eyes skating down my mostly naked and dripping body. 

In the weeks of our fake dating he had often come to my room to keep up the image, even to Nesta and Cassian, that more was going on between us. He was constantly rubbing himself on me to get his scent on me and even took to sleeping on the couch in my room a few times only to wake up super early and crawl into bed with me so Nesta found us together in the morning. In all of that we had gotten relatively comfortable around each other. Being naked in the same room, though? Hard no. My entire body responded to his presence instantly, Clittia perking up as if we might finally get some action. 

Fuck. 

“Rhys and Feyre are on their way,” he said softly, his eyes never leaving my body as he continued to take in every curve and freckle, those shadows of his swirling around him in excitement. 

“Okay, and? You can’t leave me alone long enough to bathe?”

“Apparently not.”

He took a step closer to me and instinctively I took a step back, wary of the predatory look in his eyes. It was the same look he had had that night with Truth Teller, the hunger that I had thought was for violence and now wasn’t so sure. 

“Is there a particular reason you’re in my room this time they are about to show up, or are you just bored?” I managed to ask all the while my heart was pounding loudly in my chest, so loudly I was sure he could hear it. 

“They have some important news.”

“Regarding?”

“You’ll find out soon enough.”

I scowled at his cryptic answer, or, I would have if he had not taken another step closer to me which caused me to take one back and effectively trapped me against the wall. My throat bobbed as I looked up at him, taking in the strong line of his jaw and the hardness in his eyes. “Azriel, what are you doing?” I breathed. 

“What do you want me to do, little liar?” he asked, his breath barely more than a whisper as he leaned in. Those powerful warrior arms of his came up, forearms resting on the wall on either side of my head to cage me in, and he pressed his forehead to mine. His eyes closed for a moment before he growled, “You’re testing my fucking control.”

“I am?”

“Yes. Fuck. You smell so fucking good I can barely keep my mouth off of you, and every day it is a monumental effort to pull my hands away once the others leave the room. And the nights I spend on your couch? Every second of them I spend longing to crawl into that bed of yours and fuck you hard enough that you stop sassing me with that pretty little mouth of yours.”

“I-I don’t think that’s possible,” I grinned despite the party Clittia was throwing downstairs at his growly words. “You could fuck me as hard as you want and it wouldn’t stop me from sassing you.”

His eyes snapped open then and I realized my mistake a second too late. 

One arm released from the wall and a second later his hand was around my neck much like it had been in the cell when I first arrived. 

He didn’t press hard, only placed his giant hand around my throat, his fingers giving a small possessive squeeze, as he whispered, “You are so fucking irritating, you know that? No one, and I mean no one, has talked to me like you do. No one has tempted me like you do, and yet I haven’t seen you actually fear me since that first time I put my hand around your throat. And you know what? I don’t think you even feared me in that moment, just the situation.”

“Because I don’t,” I whispered, my throat raw with emotion as I looked up at this damaged, broken male. 

In the weeks I had been in Prythian I might have been goofing off with Feyre and Nesta, might have been training with Cassian, and playing pretend with Azriel, but I had also been observing. Growing up how I did it was important to get a read on people, and the wild experiences of my early twenties only aided in that ability. So reading Azriel? That was a piece of chocolate cake. 

The male before me was broken and had been for a long time. He was so broken that his entire existence revolved around people fearing him. People feared his knowledge and what he could do with it, they feared the fact he was a warrior built for destruction, and they feared…him. They just feared him. 

Maybe I was crazy for the fact that I didn’t. Why did I look at someone so clearly capable of murder, someone who had held a knife to me, and felt desire?

There was truly something wrong with me. 

And in that moment I didn’t care. 

So I did the one thing I had been dying to do for weeks, the one thing that we both had agreed was crossing a line; I let go of my towel and reached up to drag his mouth to mine. 

[astrojulia]

⋆·˚ ༘ * All About Aries .ೃ࿐

As people I have two that I use as a practical and not just theoretical view to talk about this sign. One was a friend in high school. The other is my mother.

Their general energy is of, well, pure fire energy. Everyone needs to deal with their own Aries energy and nowadays it is difficult because our gender view is sick, in the same way we hate the aggressives and control we want hot and sexy bodys who scream gym work.. All of that is masculine energy!

When I write down in the post I need to put what specialists and the most prominent astro community says and thinks because I’m responsible for every word that I write down, but here I always claim that is just my point of view. So let me say something: to me there’s no undeveloped aspect! In my point of view we learn and understand the world better, for Aries they are aggressive in their childhood, in adolescence,... wow, I’m not going to even start to talk about it and in adulthood they “start” to control it. But that doesn’t mean it’s never going to be aggressive again. For me the undeveloped part will always be our “Shadow Self” that will emerge when we most need to defend ourselves! The undeveloped is our deepest instinct and we need to look at it as a Digivolution and not a Pokemon evolution (if you get what I mean).

Aries show us courage, they do things when they are not certain and with some mistakes, but they believe that it can be fixed in the middle of the way, when we miss that part we only move when the fear is too much.

They love the competition and do it without too many plans and step by step, they live with the slogan “Just do it”,they love to play and fight and after that life continues,without that we can only see people as rivals and we never let anything go.

Trust and sincerity is a must, it is better to come with a horrible truth than a good lie. My mom hates lies, trust me, it is better to tell her what happened. Everyone can and will lie sometimes, but they really try to avoid that. They can be seen as rude and are something that must be developed by time. I know that most of the time people actually don’t want to understand and they will listen to what they want and not what you actually say, but if that’s going to give you less headaches it is better to try, sometimes is better to give a little hand. But yes Aries, forever will have someone saying that you are rude because you don’t talk in their proper way, and yes, sometimes is you who need to change so you can achieve what you want.

They have vitality and that’s why all of us need to do some exercises, the body must move and without that anyone can get sick,but they… they get sad. A persons who forget that get a flu, an Aries who forget that get tuberculosis

(just a example, please read AND INTERPRETER everything before writing something dumb, you guys don’t have idea of how much comments that I see that the person dismiss themselves, I question myself “Really? I should respond that s***?” (I don’t)).

Spontaneity is another factor in their world, putting your head on things without thinking too much is something we should also do from time to time. A phase used here that is theirs is “give the face to slap”, we need to go front and try anyway. Without that we always fear failure and never give first steps.

And finally, strength itself, or we could say desire, they just want things, nothing less nothing more. Too much strength can lead to aggressiveness, but as everything that was in that list, always depends on the moment. Day by day we need to avoid that, but if we are once again at war I think that this is awesome.

The first sign, Aries is the one who starts things. Everything. Pioneers of any area that they like, are the pathfinders of the universe. That’s why I have no problem connecting Aries with primitive man, after all it is our first vision of Homo sapiens, the human itself.

One of the prominent aspects of Aries is taking the leadership and they do it naturally, being more specific in the planet part, here I can say that they take that naturally when there’s no one doing the job, the problem here is that no one wants to do anything, everything is in chaos and when the Aries pick the control they say that they are controlling everyone. Is it pretty lame how people want to do nothing but when someone starts to do that they get angry? That’s why sometimes an Aries takes the blame for something that has been done years before.. Because after they left no one does anything.

They are the ones that like to start a conversation in the middle of the bus stop, in the hospital and like small talk. They have talked with a lot of people, but not necessarily have many friends or contacts. Normally they are the ones who call for the Recall section of an industry when the product is defective. My mom did that after receiving a message of defective dolls and they were recalled. I receive more dolls.

Being in that position too, they are pretty bossy, childish and hotheaded, no matter the gender they are more aggressive than others. That can lead to a lot of headaches for others. The most idiot will never do a proper plan and try to win an Aries in the front line, yes they will lose, the most smart ones learned after a time that you need to hit them indirectly and make they hang themselves with their own rope, they listen to them own words not yours, eating them around the edges is the best way to transform your goal in the Aries goal. But well, that’s just a trick after some years with Aries, do as you want.

That child part of them never dies and they look for love in that way too. Pure with their hearts they want physical affection the most, going after that to gifts, quality time and favors.

The fire element screams to Aries the need for adventure, creativity, leadership and what people don’t talk about too much, faith. Fire talks about our spirit and our motivation and in Aries show these aspects in our ego and inner child, because of that these people will search to fulfill needs that they have in the past that they couldn’t have.

The cardinal aspect talks about the ability to start seasons, ( I cannot talk about spring because well.. Here Aries season is fall, so astrology did not say that the southern hemisphere also exists..) here is the desire to start things in the middle of nothing, the flowers who grew in the middle of the asphalt the the cardinal energy of Aries.

Ruled by Mars, Lord of war and battles, they look for a disaster too, Aries is happy when chaos is happening and they can fix things, not when everything is calm and soft. They love to be warriors and they want to be heroes. Also they look for love just like Mars looks for Venus, they want to be embraced and carried. And are those moments that we finally can see peace in the world.

The suit of wands talk with them as the need of being the hero once that is the biggest dream of that suit. In The Emperor we see the desire to conquer, look for more and yes, to sow things (Mars rules agriculture too), The Empress only cares for the seeds that The Emperor planted. Aries show us the desire for a better world, even though it means always living in war and dry places so that others have the comfort of living in a beautiful and flowery place. With The Tower we see that following nature’s rules is needed too and listening to your instintings and desires are part of our life.

Connecting with their sibling signs, the fire ones need to learn how to mature their carnal desire to a real desire, putting themselves first but not destroying people in the process. They need to learn to rule for everyone and not be just a dictator of their own dreams because for them everyone should work for them so their own dream comes true, the cardinals ones needs to give space to the others, with each element they learn that others can make their own decisions, talk and express in their own way and take their own time, for pure Aries wait the action of the other is a sacrifice. And it lost brother Scorpio, they show a huge desire but Aries normally talk what they want directly.

For Male Aries this aspect shows up as the alpha of the world, people normally can’t destroy their self esteem, their motto is “Just to it” and energy drink/ WHEY is something that they already have used. Loving exercises, they can go to the gym just like cross fit and martial arts, the important thing is to move the body. That’s why they can fall easily in the desirable list. Just like that, they can have sexist thoughts and nowadays don’t feel well with their own masculinity, because everyone wants a sexy and hot guy, but their other aspects that are rude sometimes, being bossy and more incisive are wrong and should be buried alive.

For Female Aries this aspect shows a more incisive aspect, being rulers and exhaling that Alpha Aura aspect. They also like masculine practices, but sometimes choose to just watch since it is seen as wrong to women. They feel good when their body is good, without that it is kinda hard to be happy in their own skin, for them appearance is something important to their self esteem.

[burinazar]

(idk who will care about this post but i think long schpiels on extremely specific Thoughts About Media is a major use case for tumblr so you’re getting it anyway) i think i wouldn’t at all have my feeling of disconnect re the rest of fandom’s* interest in Bondord if he had been a woman. this isnt a bizarre critique of some sort its just a funny thought about me and what i like. twisted inversion of motherhood with a mad scientist character feels like, the concept has More For Me than the same with fatherhood and would create more intrinsic interest in the character

*especially ‘my cohort’ — the contingent who seems to have similar predilections like fic/shipping activity and also much of the portion of the fandom that’s, like, adult women — largely those folks are big Bondrode fans and enjoy Guebon and i’m like, i relate to your habits guys but have very little interest in your man. (for those who haven’t heard me bitch about this before: i dont hate him but i have littlr interest in seeking out art or fic of him or anything and I’m kinda sad that he’s the only adult character who ever got like figures and nendo and stuff.)

hopefully no one takes this personally lol. hell, i don’t care if Bon fans think Belaf is boring! that is in fact vastly preferable to people who are randomly mean about my ships. please feel free to just ignore my favorite characters’ existence instead.

anyway like

if he’d shown up as A Horrible Science Woman and then the movie recast her into Also A Loving (But Still Horrible) Mother i’d probably like this chara much more. it’s not like because Ooh Evil Woman Hot or something. actually i think i still wouldn’t find her hot the way most of the aforementioned Bondord Enjoyers do. i pick up a new ‘character i think is actually hot’ very rarely and then they stay forever. i have very limited slots for that tbh. (also this is just me complaining now and no longer relevant but such characters tend to be pretty unpopular lol and have very little r18 content/fic available and generally this drives me to despair. i drew a picture about the top offenders once.)

it’s more..i think the fucked up inversion of motherhood is more intrinsically interesting to me than with fatherhood. it’s just a personal interest thing. i think that sort of thing is neat. if i ever bother to go watch chainsaw man it’ll be because i know that’s a thing that it gets into and many people like what it does there. also there’s how much i dig mapping parts of this show onto other parts (in fact this is already the context in which i do manage to find him interesting sometimes — the Riko Waz Bondird sliding scale of what lines you’ll cross is the one context in which i have a brain cell to focus on this guy lol.) and in that regard motherhood is part of the premise of the show and all and ways it can be inverted and fucked up is a big deal in my favorite arc even if this isn’t *why* it’s my favorite arc. so i think i’d also enjoy being able to make more parallels with it. even though the general parallel of ‘versions of parenthood’ is still available, i think bad mad scientist fathers are just a less intrinsically Oh Cool concept to me than ‘bad mad scientist mother.’ (Yes I Do Like Prospera Btw)

related: even though I love love love Waz and you guys know this, it also took a while for that to click into place after meeting him. but one time I saw Oriole’s girlWaz tenderly cradling one of the Irukos and i instantly realized that if he had been a woman and the visual of him with the baby and a knife had thus inevitably channeled inverted motherhood and dovetailed with the existing examinations of motherhood in the arc and in abyss as a whole, i would have loved him instantly instead of having to let my thoughts on him percolate.

[jerzwriter]

Things Unsaid (2/3)

This fic is part of a new Tobias & Casey AU, What's Forever For? (Learn more about it here.) For those who follow my T/C HC, their background is a little different here. A headcanon will be posted in the next day or two. 😊

Book:                   Open Heart (Post Series-Alternate Universe)

Pairing:                Tobias Carrick x F!MC (Casey)

Characters: Sienna Trinh

Rating:                 Teen

Category:            Angst/Short-Series/AU

Warnings: Regret, divorce, mention of miscarriage

Series Summary: Three days. That's all that stands between Tobias and Casey Carrick and the end of their marriage. The house is sold, they've said goodbye, and now they just have to wait to make it official. But what happens if one (or both) have second thoughts?

Chapter Summary: Having a hard time handling her upcoming divorce, Casey spends the day with Sienna, and the women share an enlightening heart-to-heart.

Words: 1,946

A/N: Participating in @choicesmonthlychallenge - Friends WFF? Universe Info & Masterlist Tobias & Casey Masterlist All Works Masterlist

The grandfather clock down the hall chimed twelve times. Its loud gong echoed throughout the tiny home, louder each time it struck. It was already noon, but that mattered not to Casey. She pulled a pillow over her head, hoping to muffle the offensive noise, but it was too loud, and her attempt failed miserably. Didn’t the damn clock understand? Sleep was the only place she could hide nowadays. The only place where her heart, body, mind, and soul found as much as a kernel of respite. And this offensive object thought nothing of stealing it away. She struggled to sit up, having decided she’d have to face the day at some point. Besides, Sienna’s couch wasn’t all that comfy anyway.

“It’s a difficult time,” her mother would say. “But you’ll get through it. You’re strong! You can do this!”

And it wasn’t only her mother. Well-meaning friends offered up unsolicited advice and platitudes daily. Sometimes sharing their own stories of personal triumph to convince her she possessed what it took to make it through. On the best days, Casey smiled politely, and on the worst, she walked away. She didn’t need them to tell her she had what it took. She knew she was strong; she knew she’d survive. But she didn’t want to be strong… she wanted to be loved… and to love in return. She wanted to turn back the hands of time and pray for a different outcome, one that didn’t leave her heart torn in two. But the clock couldn’t do that for her; all it could do was rob her of the only peace she had left.

Somehow she managed to sit upright but had no plans of getting up. She stared blankly out the window, watching the sunlight poke through the new leaves covering the trees. Spring. Rebirth. This was usually her favorite time of year, but now there was little joy to be found.

Sienna poked her head in from the hall; her heart ached to see her friend so forlorn. Most days, she wondered if she’d ever get the old Casey back. But she wasn’t giving in. No, she was determined to get her best friend back on her feet, and sometimes, that required tough love. She walked across the room with conviction and firmly poked Casey on the shoulder.

“It’s afternoon now, you. How about getting up? You should get showered and dressed.”

“Why?” Casey groaned, pulling the blanket up over her head.

“Because it will make you feel better. Come on, we can do whatever you want, my treat! We can get lunch, or go shopping, take a long walk? Oh! I know! We can go to one of those places where you get drunk and throw axes at things! That’s what we should do!” 

Casey lowered the blanket just a bit, and Sienna was delighted to see a hint of a grin on her face.

“That would be the opposite of good, my friend. Trust! You don’t want to be around drunken Casey with sharp objects right now.”

“Why not?” Sienna shrugged. “I have nothing to fear. I thought places like that were practically made for people going through your situation.”

“Maybe for some,” Casey smiled sadly, “but not for me.”

“Perhaps not, but your approach is sleeping on my couch until mold overtakes your body isn’t working either,” Sienna scolded. “I’m done coddling you. You need to rejoin the land of the living, and not only when Kyle’s around. Come on! You need to come to.”

“I will,” Casey sighed grievously. “I just… I wish this week was over already. I just want it in the rearview mirror.”

Sienna’s demeanor softened, and she took her friend into her arms.

“I know,” Sienna whispered, her mind rushing back to the day she stood next to Casey as the beaming couple exchanged their vows. No one ever thinks it will end up here. “I can only imagine how hard this is, but each day will get you a little further to healed, right?”

“Huh,” Casey snorted, pulling away and sitting up straight. “Yeah, right. In three days, I get the privilege of entering a courtroom, looking at the only man I’ve ever loved in his eyes, and signing a paper that essentially says that the life we spent over a decade building together was all for shit.”

“Casey,” Sienna consoled, “you know that’s not true!”

“Isn’t it?”  She jumped to her feet. “Isn’t it, though? Congratulations, Dr. Carrick…oh, and you, Dr. Almost Not Carrick Anymore! You’ve given your blood, sweat, and tears for this… you gave your heart, and your soul, and your… everything… and it wasn’t enough. You gave it all, and it was all for shit!”

“It was not for shit! You have….”

“Don’t say, Kyle! I know our son is a blessing and, yes, I know he wouldn’t be here if….” Casey covered her mouth and swallowed hard only to gather herself, for there was no way of holding back tears. “… I couldn’t even give my baby a good home,” she sniveled. “I failed at everything.”

“OK, now you need to stop! A marriage takes two people, Casey; you didn’t end up here alone! And you’re not a failure! Marriage is hard! That’s why half of them fail! Besides….”

“Si,” Casey interrupted. “I know you mean well, but….”

“I’ll stop,” she acquiesced, motioning for Casey to join her on the couch. Once there, she laced her fingers with her friends and gave them a tight squeeze. Casey smiled softly, remembering how many times that tiny hand held onto her and got her through.

“Do you want me to take Wednesday off? I’ll go to court with you if you want. You shouldn’t be alone.”  

“No, Si, I appreciate it,” she smiled sadly. “But this is something I must do alone. Don’t worry. I’ll make it through.”  

“I know I was harping on you to go out today, but we can stay in if you want. I’ll order pizza and get a bottle of wine. We can watch movies about women who killed their husbands and got away with it.”

Casey let out a sharp cackle, holding her side as laughter overtook her. Sienna thought she was home free… but within seconds, the laughter turned into tears.

“Si, I didn’t want this,” she wailed.

“I know,” Sienna replied. She held her friend closed and stroked her hair, wishing she had the magic to make her happy again. “I know you didn’t.”

“No, you don’t understand. It’s not past tense, and I’m not being theoretical. I don’t want my marriage to be over.”  

“Case, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I still love Tobias. I don’t think I’ll ever love anyone else, and I don’t want to go through with this.”

Sienna was dumbfounded. “Casey… I know this is becoming real, and it’s got to be so painful, but you said… you said this was what you wanted?”

“Well, what else was I supposed to say? What else was I supposed to do when my husband told me he didn’t see us working out. That he had nothing left to give? It doesn’t matter what I want if he….” she stopped to bite her quivering lip. “He didn’t want me.”

“But, Casey… you’re the one who filed… I don’t….”

“Yes! To beat him to it! He was feeling so guilty that he wouldn’t pull the plug. It was dragging on and on, and I couldn’t live in limbo anymore. I couldn’t wake up every day wondering if today was the day I’d get served. So, I beat him to the punch! Because… because….”

“Because you wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt you… and Case, I’m not judging you. Hell, I would even say kudos if you were a divorce was what you really wanted… but if that wasn’t your desired end, then… then….”

“Then I fucked up.”

“Well, you both did your share of fucking up. But hindsight is 20-20. But what would you do right now? If Tobias burst through that door and said let’s call this off, I want to make it work. What would you say?”

“I’d say yes,” she replied without hesitation. “I’d say yes, let’s do it. I don’t care if we already split our things and sold our house. I wouldn’t care if people mocked us or said we were idiots. If I had another chance, Si, I’d grab it in a minute.”

“Then,” Sienna said firmly. “Then you know what you have to do.”

Casey looked at Sienna quizzically, a nervous chuckle in her chest as she shook her head.

“No. Absolutely not. Don’t be ridiculous!”

“I’m not. This isn’t something to take lightly. This is a divorce! This is final, and if you’re uncertain, you have to let Tobias know.”

“Sienna, I may have been the one who filed… but he’s the one who told me our marriage was over. He’s the one who said we’d be better apart. I pulled the plug, but he set it all in motion. He doesn’t want to be married… at least not to me… and I can’t grovel for him to tell me that one more time.”

Sienna’s face twisted, and she bit her lip to prevent herself from saying any more. But she and Casey were two peas in the same pod, they knew each other too well, and Casey could almost feel the words her best friend wouldn’t say.

“What? What do you want to say?” She ordered.

“Case… you guys have been through so much in recent years. So much, and… ever since….”

“You can say it, Si, ever since my miscarriage.”

“I’m just saying it was a lot for anyone. Maybe you both just needed more time….”

“The miscarriage was hell, but in its aftermath… that’s when we learned how different we wanted our futures to be.”  

“If that’s true, then why second guess your decision now?”  

“Because I realize that I jumped the gun. I was being as stubborn as he was and unwilling to compromise. And a marriage takes compromise. If I had a chance to do it all again, I would have handled things so differently, and the outcome may have been the same, but I would have done more and tried harder. We were… we were worth it.”  

“If you really feel that way… then you have to tell him.”

“I can’t….”

“Yes, you can! What do you have to lose? You’re getting divorced Wednesday. The only way there is a change that changes is if you talk to him.”

“Sienna! I can’t do it again. Do you know how it felt to hear him tell me we’re through? To see him look at me like I was a stranger. I can’t be vulnerable again. I can’t hand him my heart to let him smash one more time.”

“What if he feels the same? What if he’s somewhere now telling someone the same thing you’re telling me.”

“Huh,” Casey laughed ruefully. “He’s not. Trust me, he’s not.” Her mind drifted to his friends who he had been leaning on since things changed between them. Casey wasn’t a fan, and they returned the sentiment. Especially one friend… that’s likely where he was.

Sienna sighed in frustration and threw her hands in the air. “When is he due to pick up Kyle?”

“Tomorrow night. Why?”

“Why? Because I’ll be there when he arrives. Kyle and his favorite aunt can do something together, so the two of you can talk!”

“Sienna! I appreciate you, but all that’s left is our signatures. We had a thousand chances, and we blew everyone.”

“So then don’t blow this one. Because you still have one chance left, Casey. I don’t want to see you live with the regret of not taking it. You have one more chance.”  

Permatags: @a-crepusculo @animesuck3r @annoyingmillenialnewbie @crazy-loca-blog @doriopenheart @differenttyphoonwerewolf @fayeswiftie @gryffindordaughterofathena @genevievemd @inlocusmads @jamespotterthefirst @jennieausten @kingliam2019 @liaromancewriter @lucy-268 @onikalover @openheartforeverinmyheart @potionsprefect @quixoticdreamer16 @rookiemartin @secretaryunpaid @socalwriterbee @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction @jerzwriter-reblogs-asks @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

OH Only: @annfg8 @binny1985 @coffeeheartaddict2 @mysticalgalaxysstuff @ofmischiefandmedicine @peonierose @youlookappropriate

Tobias Only: @icecoffee90 @kyra75

[hearthouses]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writer

Tagged by @pelopides

How many works do you have on ao3?

67. I would have more if I transferred more LJ stuff over, but I am largely embarrassed by those works.

What's your total ao3 word count?

282,047 words.

What fandoms do you write for?

I am going to list the major ones, but I dipped my toes in The Borgias, The Magicians, and Good Omens. But the ones I’ve written the most for are:

A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin

From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series

IT (Movies - Muschietti)

Supernatural (TV 2005)

The Vampire Diaries (TV)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

you call my name and it feels like home (1,197 kudos)

i grow green with hope (599 kudos)

desire holds me like a knife (493 kudos)

twenty-one grams (493 kudos)

The Whispering Ghosts (Left You Out In The Cold) (433 kudos)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

The most honest answer is: I try, but sometimes my neurotic anxious parts of my brain take over and I don’t reply. As a commenter and reader, I personally don’t mind if the author doesn’t reply back because I don’t wish to be perceived, but I’m also not sure what the etiquette is anymore. Do they also want me to reply to their reply? Is this a conversation now? I think AO3 changed a lot of fandom norms and expectations because I don’t remember being this conscious of myself and comment threads were the norm. But anyway, the tl;dr of it: I try and work up the nerve and sometimes I fail, sometimes I do it months later, sorry!

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I tend to write ambiguous to hopeful endings, so this was hard to determine, so I think it is a tie between The Whispering Ghosts (Left You Out In The Cold) and Watch Your Step (You'll Need A Miracle). The former because the entire fic is bleak and the ending is essentially more of the same, while the latter is about the emotional shattering of someone post-assault.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This question is very subjective because I tend to write things that might not be considered happy for some people, but are happy to me. In a more traditional sense, twenty-one grams feels the most happy because the rest of the fic is a grueling exercise in grief and eventually Eddie is brought back to life and everyone can move forward, so the relief is palpable. But on an iddy level, my favorite happy ending is we could live forever in each other’s faces because I want Sam and Dean to have a baby and rule together in Hell forever and ever.

Do you get hate on fics?

Yes. I used to get a lot of angry comments in the From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series fandom, and recently I had a lot of disgruntled people on my most recent fic. It could be my long-term anonymous hater, but who knows.

Do you write smut?

Yes! I used to not be able to and I thought I would never be capable of it, but I feel pretty good about my smut writing skills.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I did back in the day, but it was largely Supernatural/One Tree Hill crossovers because I was sixteen and afraid to admit I shipped Sam/Dean. I do muse about crossovers from time to time because I want my faves to meet and I think a lot about how they would interact, but those stories are often low priority for me.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Apparently! Someone was reposting fics on Wattpad and one of my Richie/Eddie fics was reposted. It was deleted before I could report it myself.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

A couple! It was an interesting and flattering experience.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I can't do that because I don't speak any other languages.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, with @ladyculebras. We often do round robin experiments and exercises, and we posted devour me (if you really think that you can stomach me) because the exercise kept going and we finished the piece.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Sam/Dean is one of my longest running OTPs, so that feels like the obvious answer, but I never stop feeling feelings for my OTPs, they tend to go into hibernation until I am attacked with feelings and I spiral. Some of my OTPs I don’t write fic for, but still have an immense amount of feelings for. Right now off the top of my head, the OTPs swirling around in my brain at any given time are: Sam/Dean, Louis/Lestat (and Louis/Lestat/Claudia), Seth/Richie, Sam/Tara, Richie/Eddie (and Losers Club OT7), Quentin/Eliot, Geralt/Yennefer, Coriolanus/Lucy Gray/Serjanus, Katniss/Peeta (and Katniss/Peeta/Haymitch), Archie/Betty/Jughead/Veronica.

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I have a huge graveyard of unfinished WIPs for fandoms past that I am sure I will never finish, so it is easier to answer that there are a few WIPs I really do want to finish some day. My exit from the IT fandom wasn’t really something I wanted to do, but needed to do for my mental health, but I hope to return and finish some fics when I have more distance. From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series is the fandom I have the most written in and I would like to finish my longer stories in the future.

What are your writing strengths?

I love writing prose and my descriptions are very lush. I also have a strong handle on emotion and using acts of intimacy to push the story forward, but also explore character. I’m good at character and relationship studies. I think I’m adept at writing hot sex scenes. I also have a flair for horror in ways I don’t often employ, but love when I get to.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I need to learn how to not get stuck in my own head and trip all over myself and my insecurities. My biggest hurdle is myself and my own mental hangups. I need to learn that it's okay to experiment and try new things and that I don’t need to please everyone, or be liked, I just need to please myself. I also need to work on not being afraid to write longer stuff and embrace that my brain has a lot of ideas that will take time to write

First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. I still have the handwritten notebook pages from when I was 11.

Favorite fic you've written?

I can’t answer this question because if I look at my fics, I will see the flaws. I will say I am proud of everything I finish because it’s often a battle of wills.

Tagging: Anyone who wants to do this and hasn’t been tagged yet!

[catindabag]

TBOSAS AU ✨CRACK! TAKE✨: The 10th HG Mentors According to Drunk Dean Highbottom. (Part 4)

⭐️❄️⭐️

Well, here is the last part of this TBOSAS Crack! Post. Still, for the new readers, I would like you to read part one for context.

Here are all the parts anyway: [1] [2] [3]

⭐️MENTORS⭐️

Palmolive Monthly? Chimaera Moon Tea? (Palmyra Monty)

Eats expired food on a daily basis.

How are you still even alive?!

Immune to poison, but don’t ask how.

A Diabolical Bimbo Psycho.

Sweet but might kill me in my sleep.

Therapists are afraid of her.

Your mama is unhinged AF.

Stop sending your classmates to the hospital every other day!😫

Almost destroyed the school kitchen.

Is banned from entering any public kitchen.

Is very skilled with a blade kitchen knife.

Can’t be trusted with anyone’s life.

May have accidentally killed people before.

My hospital bills left the chat.

The Capitol’s health care system only existed because of you.

Almost killed me with cursed cookies.

Your family only got rich by owning the largest distillery in all of Panem.

You literally owe me and your class a lifetime supply of posca!

You do know your family murdered a lot of rebels via food poisoning, right?

Can and WILL certainly win the Hunger Games, but don’t ask how.🤢

Dominatrix Whim Sicko? Domestic Whim Sea Witch? (Domitia Whimsiwick)

The “Dairy Heiress” of Panem.

Very kind and caring.

Willing to trade a fat chicken for good grades.

Brought a dairy cow for ✨Show & Tell✨.

Knows how to make delicious cheese.

Has a “therapy” goat named Mr. Peachy Pants.

Can bride anyone with a slice of butter.

Gave me a fresh bottle of milk when I got hospitalized from food poisoning.

Your father is too carefree to be a business tycoon.

Your family’s mansion looks more like ranch. Just saying.🙄

Why do you wear farm boots to school?

Does my school look like a barn to you?!

Can easily wrestle a bull.

Is allergic to raspberries for some reason.

Don’t crash your family’s tractor in the entrance hall again.

Forever banned from driving any kind of vehicle in the Capitol.

Stuck on her “Farm Gal” era forever.

Likes to take pictures of cute feral squirrels.

Will only win the Hunger Games if she was allowed to ride a cow to victory.

Tennis String (Dennis Fling)

Likes to smuggle and trade illegal goods.

Business minded.

Manipulative AF.

Very friendly, but untrustworthy.

Is painfully likable AF.

Likes the smell of money.

Can find any loopholes to avoid jail time.

Too dangerous to become a lawyer.

Is not allowed to go into politics.

Claimed to have seen at least a hundred banned films.

Your family is shady AF, and everybody knows it.

Don’t send me a literal horse head as a joke again!😠

Your family only got FILTHY RICH by illegally establishing and running the Capitol Black Market.

Remind me again on why I haven’t expelled you yet.🤔

Gave me a stolen but expensive painting for Teacher’s Day.

Yes. I know. You can’t be reaped as a Tribute in the Hunger Games if you can bribe everyone and anyone, even your own mother that you never existed in the first place.

Apple Ring (Apollo Ring)

Extremely friendly.

Likes to wear identical outfits with his twin.

Sometimes has delinquent tendencies.

Is a certified Himbo.

Has a sunny personality.

Happy all the time, even at funerals.

Acts like a golden retriever.

Stop stealing and eating my cupcakes every time you visit my office!

By the way, how the heck did your family got super rich just by selling pajama onesies?!

And why can’t you give me that exclusive lion onesie for free?🥺

Most likely to surrender himself for a puppy.

Likes everyone, even the mean girls.

Too carefree for his own good.

Greets danger like a friend.

Gave me a very nice mug for the winter holidays.🥹

Survival rate is almost close to zero.

Will NEVER win the Hunger Games. You’re literally too nice for your own good.

Dino Ring (Diana Ring)

Always on her “Soft Girl” era.

Has a sunny personally.

Dangerously lovable AF.

Is a certified Bimbo.

Too carefree to survive a war.

Was almost labeled as the only “normal” student of her class.

Is always optimistic, but in an unhealthy kind of way.

Acts like a very jolly corgi.

Loves to eat sweets.

Tell your rich parents to send me a free but exclusive onesie.

Also, don’t tell your mama that it was me who was asking.

Likes to give big sisterly warm hugs to everyone but me.🥺

I know that you were the one who stole my precious jar of marbles.😠

I should give you a demerit for that alone.

The only student who gave me a holiday greeting card.🥹

Will NEVER win the Hunger Games, just like her own twin.

Tiny Harry Tone (Pliny “Pup” Harrington)

Is a very good swimmer.

Your father is strict and scary AF.

Your family members are known to value cleanliness and good manners above all else. So why are you such a slob?

Thinks he’s the class clown.

Hangs out with garbage boy every weekend.

Knows how to hype up a crowd.

Is good at throwing the best underground parties ever, but don’t tell his dad.

Can forge anyone’s signature, even his own father’s.

Sometimes skips school to secretly go clubbing with a bunch dropouts.

Gave me a freaking jar of sand from District 4 as a “thank you” gift.

Claimed to have the ability to talk to freaking dolphins.

Has no interest in following his father’s footsteps.

Can literally sleep anywhere and everywhere.

Once slept under the teacher’s desk without anyone knowing.

Once slept inside my office cabinet without me noticing.

Don’t go into my office if you just want to skip class and sleep all day!

Likes to eat any kind of soup.

Can stay underwater for about 5 minutes. Impressive, really.

Can win the Hunger Games by hiding and sleeping all the way to victory.

[outofangband]

Tagged by @slightnettles to share part of a WIP (like three weeks ago I’m sorry :(

I think I am at least caught up on WIP tag games now!

I decided to share from a couple to make up for the delay! Plus a bit of a ramble about horror which I apologize for

The theme for today are “fics and scenes I rewrite again and again”

Whatever explanation Aerin had been expecting, it was not this. The weight of these words she feels as a coiling unease. Despite their proximity to the hearth she finds herself cold, pulling her worn cloak more tightly around herself. For warmth, but also to fend off the sudden and familiar feeling of exposure. She understands acutely what this play is, what Brodda expects her to do in response.

“Is this truly believed by all?” Aerin asks with the knowledge that it does not truly matter. There is something wrong in her voice, or perhaps in her own ability to hear it.

The other shrugs wearily.

“I doubt it,” he says, “But none will gainsay him let alone where he might hear.”

Note: this scene has been SO difficult for me to write. It’s undergone like three rewrites over months and it’s still just very shaky :(. The background is basically that Aerin, who is already not in a great place for like, obvious reasons, has gotten extraordinarily bad news about two days before. She’s been trying to process this when she gets further information about the previous news that complicates things further. @nelyoslegalteam you know the premise so you might be able to guess what news Aerin got :)s

Second note: I am still working on the mind games and Leonine contract prompts for Aerin, estimated to be finished in two weeks to three years

…

From a horror fic of Maedhros in Angband

When he lay on the cracked ground, agony coursing through him, Maitimo might wonder if they were merely the creation of his own mind, somehow thinking that these further tricks of light and darkness would amuse, distract him as he lay exhausted. Maybe they lived in the minds of all here. The place was foul enough to cause such visions in the purest of souls. Maitimo knew he was far from that.

But there were creatures at home in the dark of the Iron Hell, ones that could move through spaces orcs could not. He had seen shadows take form here. Sometimes at the obvious bidding of another.

Why it was that even darkness crept to life here, Maitimo could not say. He knew not if these might be truly sentient beings, crafted and released by the dark Vala himself, or if they were merely drawn to the place, carried by the denizens who swarmed to the Moringotto like the creatures that favored the volcanic landscape? 

Note: too heavy handed here I think. I really really love horror but I’m not very good at writing it.

I am working on a few horror projects about Morwen including a couple from the point of view of well, not particularly reliable sources, that have been really fun to play around with. I am just continually obsessed with how visceral of a description we get of Brodda’s fear of Morwen when the scene is imbued with the threat of horrific violence against her and her child. Anyways I will move to the next WIP so I don’t ramble about this forever especially because I already have so many posts on that specifically

…

“You will keep your distance, Witchwife, or you will suffer far worse than what has befallen Lysant.” Morwen says nothing to this. Her expression is distinctly cold, head tilted as she considered him. The man’s horse paws nervously at the ground and Sador sees his hand go to his sword. Only briefly but it is enough that he wishes more ardently than before that he had not lost his prowess with a blade. The only one he keeps now is the one that had been Túrin’s, tucked into his satchel. It had mended the traps they had set well enough but it would serve little use here, if there should be need.

Note: sigh, another scene I cannot get write though I have just been feeling not great about my writing in general lately so that doesn’t help

[dropout-ninja]

The Hollow Knight, Bretta, Nightmare King Grimm

One of these is solely because I want to see you admit your favorite ship on main, I cannot stop myself

I think I need to not attempt ask games because I am too talkative and make long ass posts help

The Hollow Knight: What was the saddest part of the game for you? Which ending is the most sad to you?

All of it

But seriously, so many moments. I’ll throw the Nosk Den out as one, alongside the Abyss. A lot of the settings give feels, like the empty basin. The White Palace’s everything always makes me feel Emotions. A lot of the ghosts make me sad. MARMU. Agh. 

Which ending isn’t sad? That said, I am going to go with Sealed Siblings as the worst feeling ending. It feels like the one that has the most damage caused and the least hope. Dream No More is a ‘good’ ending, though, but it gives many sad feelings (just of a different nature than the long scream of SS/THK ending)

Bretta: Favorite Hollow Knight ship? Favorite fanfic?

Why you do this

I have so many ships, because I’m the type of person to read what looks like a crackship and if it’s written with crunch then now I’m shipping it (hi grimmnet). It doesn’t take much and I don’t tend to have notps, my personality is a continuous shrug (me out here sometimes reading pale nightmare and causing you unknowing psychic indigestion) 

Grollow was my first HK ship and I’d probably call it my favorite. I also really like Pale King/White Lady. Some of the more cursed ships I favor are Pale King/Radiance (or PK/Radi/WL) and Radiance/The Hollow Knight, exceptionally messy and toxic. There you go, Ashe, get me on main saying it all. 

All of yours are the answer XD (I mean it). From Eyes to W&G/Red Sky to Butterfly, sorry not sorry. Other favorites are Soul of God, Form of Moth by @basilbellona, which has been my favorite HK fic since April 2022, and In Defiance of Time (and associated oneshots) by @ganondorf--apologist. 

Now for a list of absolutely random things I’ve got in my bookmarks, which are excluding the multiple HK fics I have open but am still reading. I’m going to make too long a post just because I always want fics to get more love. Some of my other non-Ashyr favorites from bookmarks (no specific order and genre) are: Captivated, Until Dawn Shall Break, Not Too Late for Second Chances, Hold The Future With Silver Hands, Camouflage of Great Renown, It’s All Well Above Wonder Anyway, The Clock Stopped Ticking Forever Ago, Pale Revival, A Tribe Betrayed, Void Given Focus, Workshop Safety, To Reclaim A Dream, To Love A Lamprey, Moving Onward, Will Terribly, If You Will At All, I Swore I’d Have No More Knights In Shining Armor, We’re So Close But So Distant

Someday I’ll have even more to recommend when I finish reading the fics open in my tags (hi Tori fics, hello)

Nightmare King Grimm: Which boss battle was the most intense for you? The most satisfying to defeat?

What if I said Nightmare King Grimm

Each one I came across the first time I played faskfsdaf. I’m going to go with Absolute Radiance just because I remember the noises I was making on stream when I accidentally beat her in P5 the first time. But in terms of my favorite boss fight/the one I’m most satisfied about my skills in, I’ll go with the cliche of the NKG fight XD My one skill in this game is being able to absolutely bully the man and kill him hitless before the best part of his song plays. I put all my irl XP points into getting good at him. Other favorite fights are Sisters of Battle, and probably Pure Vessel even though they are gatekeeping me so hard in my all bindings P4 run and so I cry.

[whentommymetalfie]

hey, your fics on ao3 are actually saving my life rn. i’m not doing amazingly atm and reading your “breathe again” and “home to you” fics about tommy struggling with mental health (admittedly in a slightly different way to me) is somehow making it all so much easier to cope with.

i’m so in love with the dynamic of alfie being completely head over heels for tommy, despite tommy feeling utterly broken and despising everything about himself - it really does give me hope that perhaps i’m not entirely hopeless and unlovable either, even if sometimes i’m about as mentally stable as tommy is.

but yeah, idk - i don’t think any of that made a lot of sense, but i just wanted you to know what a positive impact your writing has had upon me.

and seriously, fucking wow- you’re absolutely amazing at writing - i have never read better, more in-character tommy and alfie fics. the way you create the angst and attraction between them is just everything to me and i hope you keep writing this pairing forever!

also, i was wondering - how long did it take you to learn to write like this? did you study creative writing formally or are you self taught (if you don’t mind me asking)? your use of words is just mesmerising and i’d love to think that one day i could be able to write as beautifully as you do.

anyway, thank you for all that you have done for the tommy/alfie community. seriously, you should see the indirects you get on twitter (you’re like the ceo of this ship at this point)

Firstly: This was an absolutely wonderful message to receive, and made my whole week. Secondly: this reply is long so my apologies in advance! 

You make complete sense. And, not to get way to personal here, but I think it’s a very human and common feeling to be afraid that we’re unlovable when we’re at our lowest points and probably need it the most ❤️ One of the reasons I write is because it’s an escape and a comfort (and well, a huge struggle, but in the end the positives outweigh the negatives). And knowing someone else finds that through reading my fics is the biggest compliment I could ever receive, and reminds me why I do always slog through the more challenging parts of writing to finish things and put them out there for people to read.

Thank you for your kind words ❤️ I suppose I feel that my characterization isn’t spot on, but I’ve aimed for one that feels ’true’ within the setting and circumstances of the story, if that makes sense, and I’m so happy you like it. I’m wholly unable to cope with this incredible praise, but at least I can answer your question: I don’t have any formal education in creative writing. But I’ve always enjoyed reading and writing -though I mostly read in my native language (Swedish), I do try to define what I enjoy about my favorite writers’ works, and while I’m not skilled enough to always put that knowledge to use, I’d like to think that it’s helped me in some ways. As for how long it took me to learn how to write (though I definitely feel like I’m fumbling around in the dark from time to time and like I’ve learned nothing) I wrote and posted my first fanfic in English when I was 17 (a true blood fanfic I haven’t re-read since, and probably wouldn’t like to), wrote some more stuff that I never posted, and then began writing PB fic… six years ago or something? I’m 29 now, so I suppose you could say that I’ve got a few years of writing under my belt now. But I’d say that I’ve improved the most over those last PB years, simply because I’ve written so much over that period of time. And the more I write, the more critical my eye has become. And I still feel like I’m learning more every time I sit down to write. 

And I fully believe anyone can learn to write, especially in a setting like fanfic, because I’ve always felt it’s a very encouraging and ’free’ environment. At least that’s been the case in the corner I’ve been in. There’s always someone out there who’ll enjoy what you put out there. And I know it’s cliché, but the key really is to just keep at it, so a huge dose of enthusiasm and self indulgence is important. I’ve got heaps of stuff that I’ve written and never posted, just because I’ve had an idea I wanted to explore. And I’ve made my peace with the fact that I’ll never be quite as skilled at writing in English as in Swedish, and won’t always find the perfect words, because as long as I write something that excites me in some way, I know there’ll be at least one other person out there who’ll enjoy it too. I try to just make it as good as I can with the tools I’ve got. 

Again, thank you ❤️ ❤️ ❤️  I don’t know what else to say, but please know I’ll be back to re-read this message many times. And I hope you’ll be happy to hear there’s a new chapter coming tomorrow -please consider it a thank you gift! 

PS I’m not on twitter so I don’t know what goes on over there but now I’m dying because I need to see 👀 the indirects 👀 What are they saying?? 👀 the curiosity is killing me! 

[hayleyhearts]

could you post other parts of your og draft for “call me from the platform”? i love your stories and the way you write the characters is amazing!

ahh thank you! <3 <3 <3 This ask makes me feel like a real fic writer lmao. I'd love to share!!! call me from the platform is definitely the fic I've spent the longest working on, and each draft was so different!

Here's a cut scene from the draft where I was still doing Damian's POV:

Damian couldn’t eat the breakfast sandwiches. They were made of egg, cheese, and bacon. He texted Jon and instructed him to meet at the nearest park. Damian already claimed a picnic table for them. The food was cold by the time he got there, but he accepted the bag when Damian pushed it toward him. 

“Thanks,” Jon said. 

“I can’t eat them. They’re probably terrible, anyway. Drake bought them.” 

“Why did he buy you food you can’t eat?” Jon asked, unwrapping a sandwich and taking a bite. 

“He bought them for himself,” Damian studied Jon’s face carefully, and pointedly added, “and Conner.” 

Jon huffed a little laugh, which was extra gross because he was eating. He chewed and swallowed.

“Wow, Conner. He must be growing on you. You called me Kent forever.” 

“Shut up, Kent.” 

Jon smiled fondly and Damian forced himself to looked away. 

“Aren’t you going to ask why I stole their breakfast?” 

“Was it because they annoyed you?” 

“Conner said he knows you’ve snuck out of the house.” 

Jon cringed. 

“Oh, shoot. Well, sometimes it’s hard to stop yourself from listening and everything. Dad’s way better at it. I bet he doesn’t know, at least.” 

Damian leaned forward. 

“Have you ever accidentally listened to Conner? Perhaps there’s something we could use against him, to make sure he doesn’t tattle.” 

“Um… no. But I don’t think he’ll tell. He’s cool. And he hasn’t so far.” 

Damian sat back and tapped his finger against the table. So, Jon didn’t know. He didn’t think he did, because Jon told him everything. The thought made his stomach twist but he ignored the pull of guilt. Jon told him everything, and Damian had secrets. They both knew it, so it was fine. 

He thought that seeing Father for essentially two days a week would repair their relationship, but they fought more than ever. When they returned to the cave in the early hours of dawn they got into their worst fight yet over whether or not Damian would be attending college. He pretended to go to bed before sneaking out and catching a string of public transportation to the outskirts of Metropolis. By the time he walked back to Tim’s he’d been up for 24 hours and all he wanted to do was wake him up and tell him the new plan—  that he would be staying in Metropolis full-time and patrolling with Jon— but it wasn’t Tim sleeping in his bed. 

It was an embarrassing shock, to say the least. He’d learned to knock after years of living with Dick and Bruce, but he never expected that sort of surprise from Tim. And he certainly didn’t expect Tim to be gay or bisexual or whatever. He managed to compose himself before confronting the clone— but then he tried to pull that basic blackmailing bullshit, threatening to make it more difficult for him to see Jon. It set him off, even though now that he’d had time to cool down, he realized Jon was right. Conner Kent was hardly a threat. 

It wouldn’t be right to tell Jon, no matter how much he itched to.

But finding out Tim was queer rattled him and left him strangely on edge. He wanted to talk about it with someone, so they would be rattled, too, and he would have concrete proof that it wasn’t just him. It was news that would shock anyone. If Grayson found out, he would be rattled. If Jason found out, his chest would tighten. If Duke found out, he would feel off balance. Just like Damian. 

Jon crumpled up the sandwich wrapper and shoved it back into the bag. He stretched. He could draw Jon with his eyes closed but he still caught himself staring at him all the time like he was a fresh face he needed to memorize. By this point it must’ve been habit. Jon’s arms were long and lean, but he had filled out a lot since starting high school. The lines that made up his face had gotten sharper. His eyes, even behind his glasses, were brighter than the blue sky behind him. It was impossible to capture the way they lit up on canvas, even though Damian was a very talented artist. 

“Do you want to hang out at my house?” Jon asked. 

Damian wasn’t sure what he wanted at all.