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stxrvel · 3 years ago

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bittersweet feelings (1)

summary: you have to deal with the harsh truth after Bucky arrives from one of his missions.

pairing: bucky barnes x avenger!reader

warnings: nothing i think, just you know English is not my native language so sorry for any mistakes!

words: +2.5k

note: hi! I've been feeling physically unwell since I last posted and have been in bed, but today I was finally able to get a moment of calm and lucidity, so, enjoy and hope you like it!

also, i've been working on a series that I want to publish soon, but I don't know why I always find it difficult to do all that planning. anyway, I really hope I can bring it to you soon! thank u for all the support!

part 2

part 3

Admiring Bucky Barnes from afar has become too much of a challenge in recent days. Before, you were wrapped up in papers, essays, final exams and projects due, locking yourself in your room at a time or living in your university library, simply too busy to wander your eyes over the sprawling figure of Bucky strolling around the Complex. Ironically, he always spent more time there when you weren't there.

But now, completely free of academic responsibilities and banned from going on missions at Fury's whim, you had a lot more time to wander the halls of the Complex, especially in the gym where the man with the metal arm used to spend most of his time. Many times (if not all the time) you felt like a lousy attempt of a stalker, and you was almost 100% sure that he realised what you were doing but preferred not to say anything so as not to embarrass you. And that was much more embarrassing.

But did that stop you? Absolutely not.

He'd cut his hair a few days ago, and although you loved the way his hair looked on his shoulders and the way it blew in the wind every time he walked, as if he were a model on a bloody photo shoot, you shamelessly admitted that you had quickly grown to love his new style. Because, honestly, did something look bad on Bucky?

Your hands moved indiscreetly across the table, crumpling the paper between your fingers that you had previously been reading, as you watched the aforementioned man's shoulders shake after hearing Sam Wilson say something about Scott's card game. You moved your eyes scanning his entire face, trying to memorise the expression on his face as he smiled so openly, as he almost never did in public.

“Am I interrupting your crazy stalker moment?”

Tony's voice startled you, and you turned your head so sharply to look at something other than Bucky that a slight twinge of pain made its way from the back of your neck to your right shoulder. You grimaced and watched the millionaire sit down next to you on one of the black chairs that were spread out in the first floor cafeteria. Ahead of you, a large glass door separated you from one of the side exits of the Complex, where Bucky and Sam had stopped to talk and, surely at first, discuss the mission Bucky had just returned from.

“I'm not a crazy stalker,” you told him dismissively, but your nerves were eating you up inside. Even though you knew you weren't entirely discreet, you still weren't ready for someone to tell you that you were too obvious for him not to know anymore.

“Yeah, sure, whatever you say,” Tony commented sarcastically and you felt a quick pang of fear inside your chest, “I was just coming to tell you that Fury made the decision to send you to Milan with Steve the other week.”

Your gaze finally shifted away from Bucky's figure, closer and closer to where you stood, to Tony and you frowned at him in extreme confusion.

“What? So soon?”

“Isn't that what you wanted? To go back to the camp?”

“Well, yes, but I thought his tantrum was going to last much longer.”

Tony let out a laugh and proceeded to open the packet of peanuts in his pocket, “If he hears you say that, consider yourself fired, kiddo.”

“Then it's a relief that no one heard me say it,” you smiled innocently at Tony, who only gave you a tight-mouthed smile in return.

“It's just a recon mission. Steve thinks there's an empty HYDRA base you can investigate, and you're pretty nimble with that non-digitized document review stuff.”

“You mean I'm good at reading physical documents?”

“You know what I mean, eagle eyes. There's nothing you're missing.”

“Ow,” you croon with a smile, “Thanks for the compliment, Stark.”

“You're welcome. Now, don't go freaking out. Barnes is walking this way.”

He then stood up and planted himself in front of you, as your heart did a wild flip and you felt him pause for a second, before resuming his march at an unnatural pace. You didn't even know if it was possible for a heart to beat that fast. You felt sweat beading on your hands and started to breathe through your mouth as you felt the nervousness take over your whole body.

“What?” you exclaimed, staring at him, sitting uncomfortably in the chair across the table they had shared.

“I told you not to freak out, you're only going to make it worse.”

You narrowed your eyes at him with a frown. Next, you took about three deep breaths to try and calm your frantic heartbeat, before Sam's figure - and consequently Bucky's - appeared in your field of view to the side of Stark's body. The man gave you a look with an arched eyebrow, as if to ask you to behave yourself, which was an exaggeration.

That was an exaggeration. You spent a lot of time with Bucky! Even when you two were alone you didn't feel as nervous as you did at moments like this.

When your gazes met, you could barely return the smile he gave you before you turned your eyes to Sam, who had just spoken but you hadn't gotten to hear everything he'd said because your head was in the clouds.

“...and that you're going back to the camp with Steve. How long since you've been out? Almost four months? You must be anxious.”

You just nodded, looking at him through tight lips.

Tony rubbed his eyes in an exasperated gesture.

“I could ask Fury to let me tag along,” Bucky's voice reached your ears like a forbidden delicacy. It had been several days since you'd last heard it and it was like a gift from the gods, “Lest he bore you with his awkward silences.”

“We don't have awkward silences,” you grumbled quickly, not knowing exactly why you were getting defensive. Tony raised his eyebrows at you and you shrugged in place, “I mean, we talk about a lot of things.”

“Oh yeah?” Bucky's jocular tone didn't do much for your nerves and sanity, “Name a topic you've been talking about for more than three minutes.”

You pursed your lips and stared at his perfect face, uninjured by the mission, as you conjured up memories of your conversations with Steve. Your almost non-existent conversations.

Your cheeks flushed as you realised he was right, but you weren't going to let him win you over this time.

“One time, we talked all night about a movie.”

“If you're going to say you talked about Lord of the Rings, that doesn't count,” Sam spoke with a half smile on his face.

“Why not?” you grumbled quickly, watching the grimace in his face.

“He talks to everyone about those movies. It doesn't even feel like a conversation anymore, it's like a monologue.”

“Careful, Sam,” Tony spoke up after several seconds, “She likes those movies too.”

“Hey! They're good movies.”

“Good for a nap,” Sam let out a laugh.

You watched Bucky pursed his lips and looked down at the floor, holding back a chuckle.

“They're entertaining,” you muttered with a frown.

Sam pointed at you, his eyebrows arched and his corners raised in a playful grin.

“Well, that's it,” Bucky interrupted whatever Sam was going to say, “You know what they say, to each his own.”

“I'm with Barnes on this one,” Tony spoke up, resting one of his hands on Barnes' shoulder and giving it a little squeeze. Bucky watched his hand and then the millionaire's face with an arched eyebrow, but Tony quickly turned his attention away from Bucky to Sam, “Speaking of Steve, he asked me to tell you to look for him in the main room. He said something about a pending conversation.”

Tony put his arm around Sam's shoulders, leaning part of his body to lead him to walk with him out of the cafeteria. They promptly struck up a conversation on their way out of the cafeteria, and you felt your hands shake once you realized you were alone with Bucky after a couple of weeks of not being able to talk properly with him.

You turned your head away from where the two people who had accompanied you a few seconds before were leaving, hearing the creak of a chair being dragged in front of you. You watched Bucky move his body into a sitting position, settling his forearms on the table and his eyes fixed on yours. Settling into the chair, you gave him a tight-lipped, tense smile. Act normal.

“So the boss finally gave in,” the black-haired man said, his lips curling as he interlocked his hands.

You nodded your head slightly, “It was quicker than I thought. I thought he'd never let me back in the field.”

“And can you blame him? You sure scared the soul out of his body,” Bucky arched his eyebrows, and the mere memory of what happened gave you a feeling of irritability.

You grimaced, “Oh, it wasn't a big deal.”

“It wasn't a big deal? Honey, you threw yourself at those people all by yourself.”

You stared at him for a few seconds, like you did every time he called you names when you were alone. He never did it in public, and it was something you didn't try to think about very often.

“So what? This was all unnecessarily dramatic,” you tried to say in the most neutral tone of voice possible as you crossed your legs under the table.

“There were twenty men,” he said, as if that explained everything.

“Do you think me incapable, Barnes?” you arched an eyebrow, speaking with courage.

“No, of course not,” he quickly replied, his gaze softening, “But you disobeyed a direct order from Natasha and put your life at risk. You know how Fury is with you, he cares too much about you.”

You rolled your eyes, letting your back fall against the back of the chair, “But I'm not made of porcelain. I'm as good as Nat, she trained me herself!”

“But Fury didn't see her grow up.”

Well, he had a point and rightly so. You had grown up with the boss, who had practically adopted you, which was one of the reasons he used to be overprotective or refuse you to do some things because he thought it was for the best. And that fact had also helped you form fraternal bonds with all the Avengers until you were old enough and capable enough to be a part of them.

Well, you saw everyone as a nice family except Bucky. And that was a big problem.

You watched him through your eyelashes with an almost imperceptible pout.

Bucky gave you a beautiful smile, the kind that could light up an entire city, “Honey, I understand that it bothers you, but the position you put Fury in at the time, or everyone for that matter, made it hard for him not to make the decision he did. Maybe he overstepped, I'm not denying that, but he was scared.”

“There were other ways...” you started to renege again.

“And would you really have listened to him?” he inquired without wiping away his smile. It amazed you how lenient he could be with you, when with the rest of the world he was a hermit and sulky most of the time.

You sighed. Yep, you could be pretty stubborn when you put your mind to it.

“Well, the important thing is that he finally realised his mistake,” you blurted out with an amused grin. Bucky frowned and pointed the index finger of his metal arm at you.

“I think you missed the point of our little debate.”

“No, no... I understand, Bucky, I do. But Fury have to trust my skills a little more. I could against all of them! It was a spectacle.”

“But you're not always going to come out on top, sweetheart. At some point someone can catch you off guard, and that's what Fury's afraid of.”

“Well, it'll have to happen at some point. Unfortunately, I'm not invincible,” you agreed and admitted what he had said, because he was certainly right, with a tight-lipped smile.

You thought Bucky would be amused, or at least agree with you, but he merely bowed his head, frowned and tensed noticeably. You noticed that his expression suddenly hardened, and it frightened you that you had said something that would have angered him.

“What?” you asked fearfully.

He looked up from the table to look at you again, waking up. He gave you a smile, but a stiffer, harder and committed one. Your chest tightened, “It's not.... It's nothing. Just try to be careful next time, more cautious if necessary. You know, strategist.”

“Yeah, I know, I don't risk it if I don't think it's necessary.”

“That's my girl.”

You froze for a few seconds, just watching him, before your face heated up into an all too violent blush. He'd never said anything like that to you before... but you certainly didn't balk at the possibility that he might again.

“Thank you, Bucky,” you smiled shyly at him.

The sound of the cafeteria doors swinging open distracted the man in front of you, but you kept staring at his profile, gawking and surely with heart-shaped eyes. How was it possible that you liked him so much? Even though it had been a while since you last spoke, it seemed that your feelings for him had only grown three times his size.

Then, you heard it:

“Bucky!”

A woman's voice in the distance.

Confused, you turned your gaze in the direction of the voice, which came from the same place Bucky had been watching for several seconds. She was the one who had opened the doors so frantically, then. You frowned at her from a distance, unable to recognise her figure or features; it wasn't usually easy for you to forget the faces of people you knew, and you certainly didn't know this woman.

However, when you turned to ask Bucky, the half-smile on his face gave you the answer without words. Your chest tightened and you clenched your hands so as not to show the abrupt change of mood you had just gone through when he turned his face and fixed his eyes on yours. All without erasing that smile.

That smile he had on his face for her.

“I guess you'll have to go with Steve to schedule everything about the mission.”

You nodded, uncomfortably, not looking away.

“Fine. In the meantime, I'll go on my date,” he crooned, and the burning you felt intensified so much that it felt like you couldn't pass saliva without straining. But you smiled at him, your lips curving awkwardly and your face reluctant to show a feeling you didn't experience.

“Wow, I thought I'd never hear you say something like that.”

“Life is full of surprises, honey,” he said smiling as he stood up, “Do you want me to walk you to the living room?”

“No, don't worry. I'll be there in a minute,” you replied quickly. It was the first time since you had met him that you wanted him to leave you alone for once.

“All right. Good luck with the old man.”

“Thanks. Good luck with your- your- your date.”

You hated the way your voice betrayed you, but Bucky didn't seem to pay too much attention to it as he waved goodbye to you and started walking in the direction of the woman waiting for him outside the cafeteria doors. You felt your chest tighten as you sighed deeply and a couple of tears welled up in your eyes.

Damn it, at what point had all that happened?

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky fic #bucky fluff #bucky fanfic #bucky imagine #winter solider #james buchanan barnes #seb stan #sebastian stan #marvel #mcu #avengers #the avengers #tony stark #sam wilson

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ericspinkhair · 4 years ago

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dirty thoughts from a distance

pairing: dom!changmin x virgin!reader, best friends to lovers, college au!

synopsis: you masturbate while thinking of your best friend and he catches you moan out his name

word count: 3.8k

warnings: maybe slight angst, (getting caught) masturbating, mutual masturbation, sex in general ig

a/n: y'all are crazyy! it has barely been 19 days and I have already hit 100 followers🤧 thank you guys so much for your support and sending in requests!!! everytime I see leave me nice messages I feel so encouraged to keep on writing even though there is still a lot of room to improve and I am not always completely satisfied with what I create. I wish all of you a great day and hope that you stay happy and healthy!!

this chapter is especially dedicated to @bangcrispychannie and anon who requested this kind of scenario ❤️

masterlist + requests

for three years you wondered why you hadn't lost your virginity yet. it's not like you didn't have enough opportunities since you had been in two relationships so far, both lasted about five to seven months.

the feelings in your first relationship were been mostly one-sided however.

when a guy in your biology class named Minho confessed his crush for you, you thought that the only logical next step was to become a couple. you were quite flattered that he had taken such an interest in you and believed and hoped you would eventually develop feelings for him as well. the problem was you didn't. after not being able to be emotionally let alone physically intimate with him for a few months into your relationship, he finally confronted you and you confessed that you just couldn't bring yourself to see him that way. your relationship came to an end just before becoming a senior in high school.

in your last year, you got close with Seonghwa. you were seat neighbors in your english class and you'd chat all the time. he was perfectly sweet, smart and funny and you instantly got along just fine. you developed an interest in him and he seemed to feel the same way. he asked you out with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and some chocolate and you agreed to being his girlfriend without much thought. you caught yourself falling in love with this boy and didn't shy away from physical affection such as kissing and holding hands. you were convinced you were ready to give yourself to him during prom night but when it came to it you chickened out. a couple of hours before, you had found out that your best friend changmin had broken up with his girlfriend of six months.

for a long time you hadn't been able to decipher why you hadn't slept with Seonghwa then. as time passed, the unpleasant answer became clearer and clearer: you had brought up your hopes.

you had been best friends with changmin basically since you started elementary school. on the first day, he scared you with a stupid horror mask he had sneaked in from home and made you cry. he felt so guilty and was determined to make it up to you and to become friends. you had been inseparable ever since.

when he got his first girlfriend in junior year you were devastated. you convinced yourself that the reason for that was that you had been scared he was going to replace you as his best friend but in reality you had felt jealousy.

you were suppressing your feelings because if you confessed, things might become awkward. there was no way changmin could ever like you the same way.

all of this became more difficult as you moved in together for college. you were sharing an apartment now and every day, it became harder to avoid your growing and troublesome feelings. your heart would beat faster whenever he walked around shirtless (which was most of the time) and you decided to try to ignore him. this was especially difficult since you wanted to appreciate his physique. when had he become this handsome? changmin had been dancing all his life so he had always been fit but now that he was majoring in it and training most of the time, his body had developed and he had become super toned and his abs were more prominent.

he'd often make his way into your dreams and you'd let him do inappropriate things with you. you'd wake up wet and needy and even more confused. you were ashamed of seeing him this way. this was not how one normally thought about their best friend.

it was a wednesday morning and you were eating breakfast when changmin joined you in the kitchen. he flashed you a big smile, making his pretty dimples appear which you didn't see as you did not look at him.

'good morning, y/n!' he greeted you in a good mood. you just grunted in response, intensely staring at the cereal swimming in your bowl.

the fact that you couldn't even spare him a glance hurt changmin but he tried to not let it show. he wanted to get you to talk to him.

'do you want to watch a movie and play some board games today after class?' he proposed. you hadn't spent a lot of time together ever since you had become aware of your feelings.

'I have an essay due tomorrow,' you quickly made up as an excuse. the corners of changmin's mouth twitched but you didn't notice as you were too preoccupied with doing anything that didn't include looking at him.

'then maybe on the weekend. or next-' 'I'll be busy,' you interjected. 'I have lots to do.' you stressed the lots to emphasize there was absolutely no way you would be able to hang out with him any time soon.

'umm… okay. I'll be going to class.' he told you dejected. your heart sank but you didn't respond. he was wondering whether he had done anything to make you upset but he couldn't wrap his mind around it. this had been going on for a while and he was starting to become desperate.

when you first got the apartment you spent every free minute of the day together, happy that you finally moved out and could be with each other 24/7, but then you stopped talking to him completely out of nowhere. from one day to the other, you would avoid leaving your room when he was outside and barely talked to him anymore. at first, changmin thought you were just stressed and that you'd eventually warm up again when exam season came to an end but a few months had passed and, if anything, the situation was even worse than before.

you were watching the time and after ten minutes you decided to leave for classes as well. you had started doing this so you couldn't possibly catch up to him and risk having a conversation.

'hey, y/n, what's up!' your friend chanhee hugged you when you arrived on campus. you were both majoring in fashion design and were getting along on well since the beginning of the first semester.

you sighed exasperatedly. 'changmin's up.' you puffed your cheeks and pouted. chanhee nodded knowingly. he was the only person who was aware of your little secret and that was only because you had accidentally drunk confessed the whole story to him at your first college party.

'you know maybe you should tell him. this whole thing is clearly not making you happy and I saw changmin walk by a few minutes ago. if I had to guess I'd say he was in an even worse mood than you. someone accidentally ran into him and he pushed them hard and called them names. it's not like him to overreact like this. he's usually super collected. I think you finally managed to break his spirit,' chanhee reported to you.

this had never been what you intended. why did everything have to be so difficult? you didn't want to be the cause of your best friend's unhappiness.

'he must feel like I despise him. but I cannot confess to him, that would be the end of our friendship!' you were constantly torn apart by this dilemma.

'well, if you're not gonna act on your feelings, maybe try to move on? find something casual or serious with someone new? then you'd forget all about changmin and you'd be able to go back to acting normal around him' he suggested.

chanhee's advice didn't sound too bad. if you couldn't get with changmin then you had to de-crush yourself and find somebody different to focus your emotional energy on. but on who?

'is there anyone you could think of?' you ask chanhee. he had great taste in practically everything so you highly valued his opinion.

'hmm, you could potentially try younghoon hyung? I've seen him eyeing you for weeks now and he even told me thinks your gorgeous.' he wiggled his eyebrows teasingly.

younghoon was a pretty art student, whom chanhee knew from high school. you didn't talk to him often, mostly at parties and he wasn't exactly your type but you tried to remember shouldn't judge him by his first impression when you haven't even got to know him.

chanhee pulled out his phone and soon you felt yours vibrate in your back pocket. you looked at him questioningly.

'I sent you his number in case you're interested,' he explained proudly. he put his hand on your shoulder and you could see the concern in his eyes. 'you really need to get over changmin if don't want to confess,' he insisted firmly.

so you decided to text younghoon during class. he was very polite and you thought he was cute as he seemed excited to talk to you. you agreed to hang out sometime to get to know each other and decided to meet up friday for dinner.

after the end of your classes, you walked home to warm up yesterday's leftovers. to your dismay, changmin had also decided to come home for once. since you began acting all weird and refused to eat with him, he usually spent lunch time with his dance mates as they had practice after anyway. why had he decided to come here today? your question was answered when he ran up to you, smiling from ear to ear and you noticed he was hiding something behind his back.

'you know how there is a blackpink concert downtown on friday? guess what!' he held up two tickets. surely you would at least agree to spend time with him if it meant being able to see your favorite group, right?

he must have gone through so much trouble to get tickets for you and since blackpink were your favorite music artists you were actually contemplating on going but then you remembered you had made plans.

'I can't. I'm going out with younghoon friday night.'

'kim younghoon?' he raised an eyebrow skeptically.

'why would you to be spending time together? I didn't know he was even talking to you,' he questioned you. anger was boiling inside of you.

'maybe it's because you don't know everything about me,' you snapped at him. you were aware that you were being harsh but somehow his words hurt you. why did he doubt you? did he think you weren't able to get with someone as awesome and popular as younghoon? did he not consider you pretty enough?

the microwave beeped, indicating your food was ready, making you snap out of your thoughts.

'y/n, I swear, that's not what I meant.' he stepped directly in front of you so you were forced to look at him. you stared deep into his pleading eyes as you closed the microwave door, turned your back to him, stomped to your room and slammed the door shut, leaving changmin behind in the kitchen.

your whole body was tense as you listened closely to any sounds coming from outside and felt relieved when you heard the front door close. feeling sad and depressed always made you feel tired so you decided to take a nap to forget about all the negative feelings.

when you woke up you were horny af. you had a dream about changmin taking you on the kitchen counter and now your panties were completely soaked with your arousal.

desperate, you pulled them down and tossed them somewhere to the side. it didn't matter. you needed relief now.

you closed your eyes as you slowly started rubbing your clit, imagining it was changmin's slender fingers touching you instead. your imagination was running wild and you sped up the tempo.

eventually, you plunged your middle finger and then your index finger inside you, pretending that changmin was stretching your walls with his cock.

you moaned loudly and picked up the pace, chasing your high. oh, how much you wished he was the one making you come.

'yes?' you opened your eyes and gasped loudly as you saw changmin watching you from the doorway. you hecticly pulled up your blankets to your chest to cover your naked lower body. for how fucking long had he been standing there?

'oh fuck, changmin...' you cursed out loud.

to your surpise he laughed. 'oh, is this why you have been so distant? were you embarrassed about imagining doing dirty things with me?' your cheeks were burning red and you were unable to move a muscle.

'you know, if you had told me you were thinking of me while doing it then I could've helped you out already. that would have spared both of us a lot of frustration.' he stepped into the room and pulled the sheets away, his hungry eyes fixed on your desperately dripping pussy. you tried to hide it with your hands.

'n-no… what are you saying? aren't we best friends? ' you couldn't comprehend what was happening right now. the way he was acting was so unexpected that you didn't know how to react or what to say. he brushed his hand over your burning cheeks. his eyes were conveying disparity.

'but what if I told you I don't care? that I like you? that I see you as more than just my best friend?'

'wait, you like me?' you couldn't believe your ears. was he actually reciprocating your feelings?

he groaned in exasperation. 'y/n, why did you think I ended things with my ex out of the blue?' you shrugged your shoulders as you weren't sure. you had thought it was because she had lost interest in him, at least that's what changmin had told you back then.

'because I realized I was in love you, you dumbass. how could I be together with someone if I had feelings for someone else?'

'I actually ruined my chances of having sex with seonghwa for the first time for the same reason. it was just after I had found out about the breakup,' you confessed, relieved that you were finally beginning to make sense of everything.

he climbed onto the mattress and positioned his knees next to your closed legs, leaning his hands on the wall behind you so that he was hovering above you.

'I'm sorry that you lost that opportunity. let me make it up to you,' he whispered with his face mere inches from yours and then kissed you. losing all self-restraint, you immediately pulled his body closer so that he was straddling you. after all these months filled with sexual frustration and just frustration in general, you were desperate for his touch. your hands wandered under his dance shirt and you were finally able to touch those abs you had been secretly admiring for so long.

you broke the kiss to take off both of your shirts and changmin skillfully unclasped your bra.

while his tongue was exploring the insides of your mouth, his hands were kneading your breasts, occasionally rubbing and pinching your hardened nipples. you felt his hard dick press against your lower abdomen as he grinded himself into you to get friction.

after having dreamt about this moment for so long, you felt impatient. this was too good to be true and you were scared that if you didn't act quick, your bubble would bust.

without thinking twice about it, you pulled down the hem of his sweatpants and boxers just far enough so you could easily reach inside and whip out his dick. you stopped for a moment to admire his length. it looked even better than you had ever imagined in any of your wildest dreams.

he sat upright, leaning on the wall behind you, while you stroked his cock. he was sensitive to your touch and not shy to show you how well you were doing by responding with moans.

'fuck, y/n. you're doing amazing.' his praise made you eager to show him just how good you could make him feel. your lack of experience was barely noticeable as the adrenaline flowing through your veins was guiding you.

you tapped his thighs to signalize him to inch closer. that way your mouth had easier access to his dick. you hesitantly licked up his length and were fascinated by how he tasted. wanting to have more of it, you swirl your tongue around his pink tip. changmin eventually became impatient and forced more of his dick inside your mouth so you tried to take as much of him as you could but your gag reflex made it difficult for you. instead, you worked your hands where your mouth couldn't do its job.

not wanting you to feel neglected, changmin reached behind him to stimulate your clit. he skillfully started rubbing all the right places and you moaned around him, sending vibrations through his cock.

he couldn't take this stimulation for much longer before he had to force himself to pull out of your mouth.

'wow, you almost made me come there.' he panted heavily. 'but I want to be inside you first.' you got lost in his touch as he placed a long kiss on your lips but a sudden thought brought you back to reality.

'wait, I don't have a condom,' you informed him embarrassed. you hadn't planned to lose your virginity any time soon so you hadn't bought any. did that mean the end of this wonderful dream?

but changmin laughed light heartedly. 'no need to worry. hold up, let me get some from my room.' you relaxed again as he disappeared and came back shortly with a condom wrapper in his hand.

you were prepared for him to start right away and took a deep breath in preparation but he didn't do anything.

'I don't think it's a good idea to start yet since I haven't even prepared you. the last thing I would want to do is hurt you so just lay back.'

he positioned your legs over his shoulders so your hips were hovering in the air. you felt his warm breath against your vagina before he drove his tongue inside you, seeing for himself how wet he had made you and tasting your arousal. you clasped your hands over your mouth to stop yourself from releasing any sounds.

'don't do that. I want to hear how good I make you feel,' changmin complained.

when he slid two fingers inside you, you couldn't hold it in anymore and let out some kind of aroused squeal. you felt self-conscious but it seemed like changmin was only more eager to please you.

at the same time, his tongue was abusing your swollen clit and it was impossible for you to hold back the curses that were spilling out of your mouth. the pleasure he was making you feel was a whole different sensation from anything else you've experienced before.

'more please, changmin!' you begged. you wanted more. you needed more. you needed him.

he carefully lowered your hips back down. 'are you sure you want this?' he asked you, waiting for you to clearly consent to having sex with him.

'I want you. you, and only you,' you reassured him and brought his face closer to kiss him. changmin's typical bright smile formed and you felt the butterflies in your stomach go crazy.

he positioned himself at your entrance, swiping his dick between your folds like a credit card to coat it with your juices.

you gripped his arms tightly as he pushed in. he slowly continued until all of him was buried deep inside you before stopping. the feeling of a whole penis inside of you was very different from your or changmin's fingers. it filled you up to the brim and was rubbing all the good spots. while it initially caused you a bit of discomfort, it wasn't overwhelming and it also felt good in a weird way.

when your walls finished adjusting to his length, he began to steadily move his dick in and out.

changmin intensely studied your face. he couldn't believe that after all those years you were finally close to being his. he wanted to savor every single expression you made while he was inside you.

you wrapped your legs around his torso, trying to push him deeper. he slammed his cock back inside you.

'you are mine,' he declared and started going harder and faster.

'I am yours,' you confirmed and wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him in for a kiss.

because of the extensive foreplay and your own masturbation prior to this, it didn't take long until your walls were tightening around his dick and you felt an orgasm approaching.

driven wild by you clenching around his cock, he thrusted into you even faster. you rested your sweaty foreheads against each other as both of you almost came simultaneously.

changmin kissed the top of your head before he pulled out and threw away the used condom. you opened your arms and he let himself fall right into your embrace.

'I know this might be kind of weird to talk about right now but do you want to be my girlfriend?' Changmin asked you. he still wasn't too sure what all of this meant for your relationship and he desperately needed to know where your mind was at.

'after having liked you for all this time I'd be an idiot to say no.' 'you're an idiot anyway,' he teased. you slapped his arm.

'hey! I'm not the one who ignored you for a couple of months because my hormones are out of control.' you hid your face in the crook of his neck, too embarrassed face him.

'I'm really sorry for that. you just mean so much to me and I didn't want my feelings to get in the way of our friendship.' he stroked your hair.

'I do understand that. if I hadn't heard you moan my name today I wouldn't have acted on my feelings either. but all is good now, right?' 'right.' you smiled and placed a small kiss below his ear.

'there is still one thing you need to do,' changmin tried to remind you. you looked at him, puzzled.

'what do you mean?' 'younghoon,' he hinted. you immediately started looking for your phone. that date was definitely going to have to be cancelled. there was no need for you to find a distraction anymore since you had been granted your wish after all.

#ji changmin smut #ji changmin scenario #the boyz q smut #the boyz q scenario #the boyz changmin smut #the boyz changmin scenario #the boyz ji changmin smut #the boyz ji changmin scenario #the boyz smut #the boyz scenario #the boyz #ji changmin #the boyz changmin #the boyz q #kpop smut #kpop scenario #kpop #smut

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1994sunflower · 3 years ago

Note

Hey! First of all, I love your story SO MUCH, you’re such an amazingly talented writer! Also, I was wondering if you could dig deeper into Micheal’s soft side (never get tired of it) in which maybe Y/N is sick, like she collapses for high fever or something, and he has to take care of her

thank you so much!! and ofc, I love exploring michael's soft side. he can be such a sweetheart when he wants to be (which is like never lol).

in which you’re sick

It would have been bearable if it was just exam week. You’d done that a million times. But the fact that you were also doing grad school applications along with your extracurriculars - suddenly you felt as if there was not enough hours in the day. In a week even.

Even with the sacrifices you’d made. You’d taken to forgetting food times. When you did remember, you’d have to eat during one of your other activities, usually studying and that just led to spills and half eaten food. It had only been about a week into these habits that you had gotten sick with a cold. It wasn’t a surprise, you were overworked, exhausted - no wonder your immune system was depleted. But it made your work and concentration that much more difficult, you’d cried more than once at the circumstances.

But maybe the hardest has been forgoing seeing your beloved boyfriend. It wasn’t that he was a nuisance, it was just that he was distracting and right then, you didn’t have to time to deal with distractions. Lest he succeed in distracting you like he so often does.

It’s been nearly two weeks since the last time you saw him. Something he agreed very begrudgingly to. But he knew how important your grades were so he agreed nonetheless. You texted him nearly hourly but still it felt nothing like having his comforting presence right next to you. It might have been the reason you caved and let him come visit you after he insisted. Not that he likely would have accepted your denial. He missed you just as much and he needed to see you, especially with how worried he was starting to become.

He used the excuse of bringing you lunch and you, weak and missing him, accepted it, knowing he would probably try to stay for much longer than just that.

But you could deal with that and him firmly when it came to that. He always listened to you.

You were at your desk, crumpled papers beside you, tissues, and about ten different tabs open on your computer, with the beginnings of one of your many application essays open on your tablet. You kept alternating between the two works and by the end of it, you almost felt a hysterical scream wanting to leave you. Nothing was good enough.

When you heard the keys clinking at the door, was the only time you had snapped out of your almost unhealthy focus on your work. By the time you realized just how awful you look, it was too late. Your hair was in a ponytail, different strands already falling out of the scrunch by how much you tugged at your hair in frustration. You wore no makeup and the bags under your eyes were more prominent than ever. The sick pallor to your face was probably so much more obvious, if the sniffles and occasional cough didn’t give your sickness away. Not to mention the pajamas that still adorned your body.

But Michael had already opened the door before you could even think of last minute changes to your appearances. All you could do was turn around in your chair to face him, clearing your throat in hopes of pushing back any coughs.

Just as it’d been nearly 2 weeks without seeing him, it’d been 2 weeks of you living this mentally drained lifestyle. And you looked it. Not that it mattered. Michael had never made you feel insecure or anything but the prettiest girl he’d ever laid his eyes on. He loved you, no matter how you looked.

And that was proven when he finally took you in after 2 weeks of not seeing you. His eyes shone with the same love they always held when he looked at you, now with also a sense of relief at finally being right with you. No hint of judgement.

There was a third emotion there too. Worry. But you didn’t have time to try to dissect it because you knew it would just lead him to get you to take a break and lose time you could be spending on working.

Normally you’d be the one who greeted him first, excitedly. But you were too tired to hold that same energy and you hadn’t used your voice for anything other than frustrated groans. All you could do was smile weakly when Michael lifted the bag of food in his hands. The action made you swoon just a bit, you knew it was likely his first time being so attentive to someone, going beside himself to make sure they’re fed and bring it to them. He never would have the same detail with anyone else.

“Got your favorite.” Michael gravely voice finally hit your ears and you had to close your eyes for a second. You’d missed him, much more than you had allowed yourself to think of.

Opening them back up took more effort than you wanted to think of. It seemed that now that you weren’t hyper focused on the work in front of you, the mental tiredness you had been ignoring was finally starting to seep in.

When you stood, you had meant to say a ‘thank you’ before walking over to serve your food but the moment you got to your feet, you felt a wave of dizziness overtake you. Your body swayed for a moment, only stopping when one of your feet that had almost lost its footing, stomped down and you took a hold of the back of the chair you just left. Eyes closed tightly to try to center yourself.

When you opened your eyes, Michael was staring at you with wide eyes, intense with the worry that had been there before much more prominent. “Are you okay?”

You nodded, coughing slightly despite yourself. “Yeah, sorry. I think I might just be hungry.” You tried for a giggle to lessen the mood but Michael didn’t smile or relax at all. His eyes just raked in your figure.

“Are you sick?” That would have been bad enough but if he knew you were sick and didn’t tell him so he could have made sure you were okay, all hell might break loose.

“Sorry I didn’t have time to make myself look better today, okay?” Your tone was a lot snappier than you intended for it to be and that he expected, as evidenced by him rearing back in surprise. You were just so tense. But instead of apologizing you just made your way over to him. No wobbling, no swaying. You were fine.

You didn’t want to deal with defending how you took care of yourself (or rather how you didn’t). You didn’t have time anyway. You’d barely have time to eat what he brought you but the least you could do was eat a bit of it.

“It smells great.” You sniffled. You tried to reach for your food but Michael moved the bag back. His eyes never left you, analyzing every little move you made. It was unnerving. You couldn’t imagine how others withstood his gaze whenever he was angry at them.

“Y/N-” You made an impatient sound. Every time he said your first name, he was serious. And somehow, right then, it made you defensive. “You said you only needed a few weeks to focus on your shit and that you’d be fine without me having to check on you.”

“I am fine.” You muttered yet you couldn’t quite meet his eyes when you said it.

“Yeah? Is that why you got dizzy just from fucking standing up?” His words were harsh and loud but you knew it was because he never really figured out how to show concern any other way. He was worried.

“I told you, I’m just hungry. I didn’t have breakfast today.” But maybe it wasn’t the right thing to say because you saw his eyes flare up with even more concern and anger. But right then, after spending days multitasking and still not even making a dent on the work you needed completed before your rapidly approaching deadline, you were able to match those emotions.

“Michael, I’m really not in the mood to argue with you today, okay? I’m busy and if I’d known you came here to judge everything I’m doing I would have told you not to come. I’m doing my best! Why is that….why…”

It was getting hotter in the room. You’d felt the warmth all day - week even - but as your anger and voice rose, so did the temperature. You barely had time to register the light headedness.

Your breath was shaky by the time you finished your rant and your eyes becoming suddenly distant as you looked around, confused, before you were falling backwards. You would’ve hit the ground if Michael hadn’t moved first and caught you in his arms.

You didn’t hear the frantic calls of your name, more scared than perhaps anyone had ever heard him, the apathetic man he was, sound. You didn’t feel the way Michael’s hands gripped your body, trying not to move you too much lest he do more damage. You didn’t feel the same dropping of his heart when he saw you go down and the freezing fear in his veins. The only thing you felt was his huge, shaky, sigh of relief when you opened your eyes a handful of seconds later.

With much effort, fluttering them to try to keep them open. You couldn’t really see what was in your line of vision, everything was so blurry. Eventually, it was too much effort and you kept them closed, but you felt yourself being picked up and carried. His heartbeat was fast, you felt as he carried you with your face pressed against his chest.

The first movement you made when he finally put you down on the soft bed was furrow your eyebrows, then your hand was rubbing your face. By the time you opened your eyes, confusion set in “What…?”

You didn’t finish when you looked beside you, seeing Michale on his knees next to the bed to be on your level. He looked paler than you’d ever seen him, eyes wide and watching you like a hawk.

It was then that it hit you that you didn’t really know how it ended up that he carried you into your room. You remember getting mad at him, the warmth that slowly overtook you, then the next thing you knew, you were in his arms.

Panic struck you next. How much time had you wasted? You had a final paper due by the end of the week. You had to submit an application in two days.

But when you attempted to sit up, much too fast if your dizzying head was anything to go by, Michael pushed you back down. No longer trying to negotiate with you. His eyes shown fiercely - letting it known that there was no room for compromise.

You couldn’t stop the four coughs that escaped you as you stared at him, pleadingly.

“Don’t.”

“But I have to-”

“You just fainted, Y/N.” Michael almost sounded mad but the waver in his voice gave away his true emotions. “You’re sick and your body’s exhausted, obviously. You’re not going to do shit. You’re going to rest and I’ll…handle it. Contact your professors or whatever so…don’t worry about deadlines or anything.”

His voice made it clear there was no point in fighting against him. Even though his relationships with professors was less than friendly and he never cared enough to ask for extensions for anything before in his life.

He took your hand in his big ones, dropping his head to rest his forehead on top of your fingers. As gentle as you’d ever seen him. “Why haven’t you been taking care of yourself?”

You didn’t answer for a long time and you were grateful that he wasn’t looking at you anymore so he couldn’t see the way your eyes filled with tears and your lip wobbled. You didn’t mean to scare him, or neglect yourself. But if you took the time to do anything else, you’d be behind. You were so tired.

“I d-don’t know.” You said as a few hot tears ran down your cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

You felt his hands brush some of your hair from your face softly. “You scared me.” He admitted and somehow, you knew that for Michael, admitting that weakness was hard. But he didn’t mind being vulnerable in front of you.

His eyes bore into you, almost too intensely for you to be able to handle. Until his hand came up to your forehead and you found the excuse to close your eyes so you wouldn’t have to watch the worry in his.

“You have a fever.” He got up and you didn’t even get the chance for your sluggish brain to wonder where he went before he was already back, carrying a small bowl of water with a rectangular mini-towel on top. You weren’t sure how he knew exactly what to do for you, how he seemed so soft and tender in these actions that were so unlike him.

He put the cool, wet towel on your forehead as he sat next to your lying form on the bed. He was so close to you, leaning over you. You were scared he would get sick because of you but when you finally opened your mouth to speak again and told him so, he ignored you. As if that was the last thing he was worried about.

From the moment you collapsed, his attention had been on you and nothing else. Nothing else mattered in his mind. And that translated in every attentive action that made you feel so taken care of. This side of your brash boyfriend, the caring, delicate side at a time when you needed it most nearly brought tears in your eyes. It made it very obvious that despite what he might seem to everyone else, he was the perfect boyfriend, would make the perfect husband. For you. He made you feel supported and at home even when your body and energy seemed to be turning their backs on you.

“I’m hungry, Mikey.” You tugged at his sleeve. You weren’t sure if you were, really. You’d gotten used to the pulsing headache from the lack of food throughout the week. But judging by the heaviness of your eyelids, threatening to close and the weakness in your body, in your energy, if you didn’t eat, you might shut down again.

Your voice was croaky but he didn’t comment on it. His answer was almost automatic, “I’ll get the soup I brought you.”

You’d almost forgotten why he had been there in the first place. He’d insisted because he had missed you. And you missed him. He came to take care of you, going out of his way to do what he would never do for anyone else, just never imagining you were at your limit.

It was almost embarrassing. Being in your weakened state in front of him and having him tend to you like a child. Especially when, sitting up in your bed with a disorientation and a feeling of tiredness that seemed to be the only things you could truly feel at the moment. Plus the muted feeling of stress that never seemed to go away; it was screaming that you should be doing your work, that you’d fall behind.

But you didn’t have time to dwell on it before Michael came back with a bowl of warm soup in his hands and sat next to you again. Saving you even from your own thoughts without realizing it. He placed the soup on your nightstand and it wasn’t until he began to get a spoonful that you realized he meant to actually spoon feed you.

To think of your boyfriend doing anything so nurturing seemed almost unnatural. Yet here he was, without an ounce of hesitation or embarrassment. It was such as mismatch from his personality, his reputation and it melt your heart to think that he cared about you so much to throw all of that away for you and his worry for you.

You could only manage a feeble, “You don’t have to…”

Michael stared at you silently for a while, not a decipherable emotion seen in his face, before bringing the spoonful of soup up to your lips. “I want to.”

And while you knew Michael wasn’t a big talker, those three words dripped with sincerity. Matching the loving actions and gestures he was currently doing for you. It was clear, if it wasn’t already before, that nothing was more important than being there for you when you needed him the most.

He didn’t let you talk again until you finished the food, feeding you each sip. Until he was satisfied that you had eaten enough to compensate for your lack of nutrients the weeks he spent without you. This was just as new to him as it was for you to see, this side of him. Doing things that he never would have dreamed of doing for someone else. But it felt like second nature when he saw the woman he loved more than anything else in such a vulnerable state. He yearned to take care of you, to provide for you. To keep you happy and healthy. Especially with how often you take care of him.

“Was it good?” He asked. Though he knew you would’ve liked it. If not simply for the fact that you hadn't eaten much else then certainly for the fact that he went out of his way to go to your favorite restaurant and pick your favorite item from their menu. The one you got every time he took you there.

You nodded, “Thank you.”

You weren’t expecting it when Michael enveloped you into a hug. So tightly you couldn’t even hug him back even after you got over the shock. His face was buried in your tangled, messy hair. He breathed you in as if taking in the fact that you were okay, he mumbled into your hair, “I know how much you care about school and how hard you try because of that but….none of that shit matters compared to you.”

It was so hard for him to be without you for so long. But he did it for you, to give you the time you had asked for to focus on your work. It had never occurred to him the bad mental state the solitude could leave you in, what it would do to your physically. If he had known, he never would have let you be alone. He would’ve fought you tooth and nail if it was what it took but he would have checked up on you, been there for you. And that’s exactly what he’ll be doing from now on. He’ll be there for you.

“Get some rest,” He reluctantly let you go. “You need to sleep.”

When Michael got up, though you were objectively much too warm because of your fever, you felt a lonely cold. You didn’t want him to stay away so you could study and work anymore. You needed him and all the comfort he brought to your soul. And he didn’t want to leave you anymore either.

“Mikey!” You called to him as he switched off the light to your room. You heard him hum in answer. “Don’t leave, please.”

He didn’t answer you. But you felt him get into bed beside you, kicking off his shoes as if it wasn’t the middle of the day - as if he had nothing else he would rather do than sleep right then next to you. And by the way he put his entire day on hold the minute he saw your condition, you guessed he didn’t. You had an inkling that while you had every intention of not letting him distract you when he had first arrived, that he had already been planning on staying the entire day anyway.

You were glad he did. You wouldn’t have been able to keep going the way you were if he hadn’t forced you to confront your self-neglect and tended to you with such dedication and love.

Both of you were silent and you could feel your tired body begin to drift to sleep when your boyfriend spoke up from beside you. “Promise me you’ll start looking after yourself, no matter how stressed or how much stuff you have to do. Promise.”

You weren’t snuggled into him like you would want. But you could feel him on his side, staring at you in the dark. His voice was serious with a hint of desperation. He needed to hear you say it. To know that his loved one would never be put in such a mistreated circumstance ever again, you didn’t deserve it. Nothing deserved to have you feeling anything but cherished, healthy and confident. Not even yourself. Because he believed in you so completely.

Though he never planned on leaving your side, emotionally or physically, to have any negativity enter your thoughts or habits ever again. He was willing to carry the weight of the world if it meant you would feel the strength and happiness that had been beat out of you.

“I promise.” Your words were small but it was good enough. Michael took you in his arms then, again not caring for any risk he was running of getting sick himself.

The next time you spoke, it was mumbling against his shirt. “I’m sorry you had to see me like this. I must’ve looked so gross because I didn’t really get ready all week and I-”

“Shut up.” His words held absolutely no bite, they were whispered. “I don’t give a damn what you looked like today. You never look bad to me. I only cared about making sure you were okay. And I’ll keep being here to make sure, I’m never leaving you alone again. I promise. No matter what you say.”

Your heart felt so full at his sweet words, just for you.

Then it was back to the comfortable silence. Until you began coughing again, this time against his chest and you tried to pull away quickly, both scared for his health and embarrassed. “Michael, seriously, you’ll get sick.”

But Michael’s strong arms were like steel bracketing you to his body. Unmoving despite your protests. He only cared about finally keeping you to him, where he knew he could protect you and keep you close, especially after so long without you and having your health deteriorate because he wasn't around.

“Yeah, maybe I’ll get my own class extensions then if I do.” He said it seriously, and knowing his academic achievement, or lack thereof, you didn’t doubt he meant it.

But still, you couldn’t help but giggle at his words, knowing he was smiling right alongside you without even having to see it. It felt foreign, laughing after so long of your negative thoughts and stressed lifestyle but nice especially because of all those things. A positive, carefree spirit that filled you because of your loving boyfriend and being so cocooned in his protection right at that moment.

#5sos #5sos fluff #5sos angst #michael clifford #michael clifford x reader #michael clifford fluff #michael clifford angst #bad boy michael #bad boy fluff #bad boy angst #5sos imagines #college au

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snowboiwinwin · 4 years ago

Text

The Boyz as my University Professors

Disclaimer: Some of my professors are evil bitches; none of the boys are truly evil and I am in no way implying they are or trying to make them look bad! I love the boys and I just thought it would be a fun thing to post :D

-------------------------------

Sangyeon:

the one professor that absolutely loves the topic of his class

super wholesome and smiley throughout the 90 minutes class time

getting super close to the camera (actually to the mic) because he is worried students won’t hear him well enough

always asking questions and encouraging students to interact

not offended when something isn’t clear and therefore students don’t know the answer

reading EVERY. SINGLE. MESSAGE written in the chat (sometimes students have mic problems or don’t wanna speak)

making everyone feel valid and appreciated

being super calm and relaxed

barely doing breakout-rooms cause he knows no one likes them

ending class always a little earlier cause “I know how stressful your life can get.”

just the cutest prof out there

Jacob:

another sweet guy

never holds class at its normal timeframe

just uploads all the files students will need (although attendance is supposed to be mandatory)

“you guys are all grown-ups, I trust you to decide yourself when it is the best time for YOU to study.”

constantly uses smileys and is therefore super popular with students

doesn’t teach many classes, cause which good prof does that? ugh

gets right back at students when they email him their concerns

and no, you don’t get half-assed answers

you get a very detailed answer, which is rare in university life

THANKS STUDENTS FOR SENDING HIM THEIR HOMEWORK!!!!

“Dear [name of stundet], thank you very much! 😊”

offers students to call him by his first name

“I’ll call you by your first name too if that’s okay... creates a more comfortable atmosphere!”

the best <3

Younghoon:

he is a savage professor

his look is hella scary and students fear taking his classes

but he is actually the coolest and most laid back dude ever

the first time class is held, he comes in, stone cold expression and literally throws his bag on the desk - everyone is hella scared

then he says, in the scariest voice ever, “We can have fun here in class, no problem, but i AM YOUR PROFESSOR. NOT YOUR FRIEND. Remember that.”

*everyone scared to death*

“Welcome to class everybody! My name is Mr. Kim and I am very looking forward to teach this class in our summer term! Feel free to ask any question that might come up and don’t hesitate to reach out to me whenever!”

no need to be scared, he is a sweetheart

strict and has high expectations, but won’t overdo it with homework or assignments

constantly jokes around but then switches back to being serious

he creates a nice atmosphere where students want to learn something and do it voluntarily

cares for his students and appreciates their hard work - especially during the pandemic

“I know this is not easy for any of us but I am so amazed by your guys’ work this semester. It was an absolute pleasure teaching you. I hope to see you guys again, but not in this class. Please don’t fail.”

I love him

Hyunjae:

omg, he is an absolute legend

class starts and he is doing his introduction part

the class i about british literature

“Welcome to this literature class, you are in for a long ride!”

so far so good right?

“Let me just say, British Literature is an ABSOLUTE shit show!”

when I tell you, I almost died hearing that (no offense to anyone, pls don’t take my profs words to heart... he lives for british literature 🥺)

he definitely has his students hooked with this one sentence

“the teacher that taught this class before me... what was he even talking about! I mean, british literature is so much more than what he made it out to be!”

basically starts ranting

teaches with so much passion

can’t forget the jokes here and there

also uses smileys which students seriously love (at least I do)

wants students to be informal with him as well

“moving on to this next topic... a little disclaimer before we start: I will go batshit crazy with this topic because I LOVE IT. So please tell me to shut up when I exceed the 10 minutes mark. Thank you!”

A savage legend that everyone loves

sadly only teaches a handful of classes as well

Juyeon:

super laid back and chill

does never check attendance and just trusts his students

usually talks most of the time and doesn’t ask too many questions

is super happy when students contribute though

but he isn’t one to force them

“I know your day has probably been really long, so it’s okay. I’m not taking this personal.”

his class is not based on theory but more on experiences he made

shares funny stories, mistakes he made and what he learnt from them

always gives the smallest and easiest homework ever

“please just share your experiences with these types of situations in our forum”

and he does not want to grade students based on an exam

“I have a better idea. In order to understand a certain topic, I want you to write a portfolio about it. It should be detailed but I won’t give you a number of words. Do what feels right and surprise me! Be creative, nothing will be worth a failing grade as long as you put in some effort.”

does split classrooms

one half is in the main room with him, the others are in breakout rooms, working on a certain topic

super chill and just not as hard as some other classes

but students definitely learn from him!

Kevin:

oh boy, students either gonna hate or love him

he is very kind and nice but he is STRICT

take his class serious and work or you will fail

although he has very high expectations, he will make sure students will be prepared for all the essays, assignments and presentations he throws at at them

no half-assed instructions, you will get the full program (as every student should!)

you have to write an argumentative essay but have no idea how to do that?

Professor Moon (students are allowed to call him Kevin) will explain an argumentativ essay in detail, will show examples and will tell you exactly what to put in it

having trouble finding sources?

Kevin will help you, just let him know!

Also a very empathetic teacher

something happened and you can’t attend class? Absolutely no problem

whenever something serious happens (for us it was a shooting), Kevin will cancel class and spare his students cause their well-being is more important

he doesn’t throw out A’s and B’s easily but when you do get such a grade in one of his classes... dude, you did a really good job

so as I said, he is either your fav or least fav professor... choose your side!

Chanhee:

he is a bitch (not really, but he gives the impression)

at first, he is that nice, bubbly professor

super friendly and kind

and his classes are absolutely okay! no biggie

or so they THOUGHT

his exams and progress tests or whatever ARE HELL

he makes it seem as everything is so easy and not overwhelming at all

BUT nothing is easy and everything is overwhelming

50 pages for a damn progress test two weeks into the semester!

the grading is so strict, you need at least 65% to pass! (maybe I am a baby but 65% is a lot for a passing grade hahaha)

but he confuses students

he is so kind and soft spoken

constantly smiling and in a good mood

but the exams????

are you sure you were the one creating them Mr Choi?

and yes, he is one of those professors that wants to be addressed by his last name (nothing wrong with that)

as I said, he confuses students

they don’t know what to think of him

at the end of the day he isn’t a bad guy

just not the type of professor the students would want in every single class for the rest of their lives

Changmin:

changmin is not your ordinary professor

because he is a big fan of team-teaching

so all his classes are taught by him and his dear colleague Haknyeon!

YAAAAY

I love this duo already

he is the part of the duo that is EXTREMELY motivated

he is is so hyper and so ready for teaching

his classes are always fun but also slightly overwhelming?

juts imagine having too much caffeine in your body

that is changmin being able to teach something he loves

that’s just the passion jumping out of him

he is constantly talking and laughing and throwing jokes left and right

he is having a good time!

super understanding and empathetic

and although everything seems fun and games

you will definitely learn from him!

he has this natural and authentic way of teaching in his body

it comes... naturally and it all makes sense somehow

although the class is packed with inside jokes and changmin teasing haknyeon

haknyeon doesn’t even have time nor the chance to speak

this is changmin’s time to shine!

they love and hate each other

but the students definitely love this iconic duo

Haknyeon:

as I mentioned; haknyeon and changmin are a team

it wasn’t really something haknyeon wanted but... how could you possibly say no to baby changmin? 🥺

so yes, changmin’s cute face got him into this situation

he doesn’t even have to prepare anything for class - his lovely colleague does the talking anyways

he usually lays back and relax

he frowns into the cam cause he tries to intimidate students

but they know he is a soft guy anyways

while changmin is talking, he is chatting to students in the chat

as I mentioned earlier, not everyone wants to unmute themselves and therefore posts in the chat

so he is having chats with students, often not even related to the topic

“Please excuse me, I will be absent for a few minutes - mommy duties” -student

“Don’t worry Miss! I know exactly what you mean... children.” -haknyeon

whenever he tries to get a word in, he has to talk VERY LOUDLY

he literally has to talk over changmin

but changmin doesn’t mind, he just smiles, nods and listens

changmin is super proud whenever haknyeon speaks

and haknyeon thinks that’s very sweet

but that thought passes as soon as changmin makes a joke about him

at the end of the day, they love each other at least to a certain extent and students adore them

Sunwoo:

he is not an ordinary professor either

class time? virtual meetings?

nope, not with sunwoo

again, in the classes the boyz teach, attendance is mandatory

mandatory? sunwoo has never heard of her

he doesn’t require students to attend meetings and homework is also something he does not expect from them

he uploads powerpoint-presentations with videos and audio of him explaining everything in the presentation

but the boy is clumsy

and he is not good with anything technical

so him dropping his glass and spilling his water all over his lap?

well, students will see this in the video

“... and it’s important to- YAAAAH OH NO....”

*awkward silence*

“I spilled my water... if you haven’t seen.”

*more awkward silence*

“Give me a minute”

*the video continues and sunwoo is nowhere in sight*

after ten minutes of an empty chair, sunwoo returns and continues as if nothing has happened

sometimes his kids walk in and dab in the camera without him noticing

“and then - Hey! I am at WORK.”

he loves it though

and he posts these “fail” videos on purpose

“I want to show you, that it is okay to not be perfect and to not be in control of everything! Stuff like that happens, especially with us being in home-office! And don’t worry, if your mom walks in or whatever, in my classroom no one gets judged! This is life and now that we have to do everything from home, the unexpected is unavoidable!”

Another students’ favorite

Eric:

I would love to imagine him as this savage prof I have in mind... but no <3

he is a sweet guy

also super obsessed with the class he is teaching

he is LIVING for it

usually experiences technical problems right before class starts

“oopsie daisy, sorry guys... might take a few minutes *giggles*”

and no, it’s not a creepy giggle but a really cute one, I swear!

constantly has a pen in his hand and clicks it absentmindedly while teaching

students constantly hear the clicking sound... or when the pen falls to the ground.... which happens every five minutes

he constantly forgets to mute himself whenever he wants students to work by themselves and all they hear is him chugging down his water or whatever drink he has prepared

also sends out super sweet emails

but due to him being a young dude, he wants students to call him by his last name

he also calls students by their last name but he does use smileys to lighten the professional mood that comes with honorifics

overall a very motivated but extremely kind-hearted dude

#the boyz #scenarios #kpop #imagines #reactions #headcanon #the boyz as #eric sohn #jacob bae #kevin moon #ju haknyeon #younghoon #hyunjae #juyeon #sunwoo #sangyeo #chanhee #changmin

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everybodyscupoftea · 4 years ago

Text

finally free

ole miss rafe x reader

rafe is tired, you try and help, and eventually the two of you get to drink

two in one day baby (almost?)

(warnings: cursing, drinking, hardly edited)

Rafe had been exhausted lately, cancelling dates to do homework and pulling at least one all-nighter a week. He’d decided to TA his first semester in the program, and while you were happy he got the subject of his choice, you were worried he was running himself too ragged.

It’s not like you had much room to talk, Vet School had been brutal, and the amount of work was what you expected, but weren’t exactly prepared for. A lot of the time you’d spent together starting mid-semester was takeout and homework in one of your apartments.

Your semester came to an end before Rafe’s by two weeks, and you spent the first week catching up on sleep, working out, and making actual home cooked meals for Rafe. You’d been practically living at his apartment, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“Babe,” you called one morning, walking out of his room around 10:30.

He was sitting at the dining room table, and looked up at you, glasses perched on the edge of his nose, “What’s up?”

“About to head to the gym, want some breakfast before I go?”

“Had a bagel, thanks though.”

You nodded and kissed his forehead before heading toward the door, “Gonna get some groceries while I’m out and probably Strange Brew. Text me if you decide you want me to pick something up.”

He smiled at you tiredly, and you could see the bags under his eyes from across the room, “Thanks, sweetheart, I think I’m good though. Going to work for a few hours and then take a nap.”

“Please take a nap, you need it. How many days do you have left?”

“Three and then next week is finals. So I’ll have tests and papers to grade. Plus my schoolwork.”

“Are the tests multiple choice?”

“Yeah.”

“I can do those. So you can focus on your own shit and the papers.”

You couldn’t be sure, but it looked like his eyes filled up and the lines on his face softened, “That would be fantastic.”

“Alrighty then, sounds like a plan. I’ll see you in a few, you’d better be asleep when I get back.”

Rafe grinned and sent you a salute, “Yes ma’am.”

He had clearly just laid down by the time you got back, and when you walked in, arms full of grocery bags. Laid on the couch, he jolted, eyes snapping open. You winced, “Sorry, babe.”

Putting away the groceries, you went over the couch and knelt down before running your fingers through his hair. He hummed, leaning into your hand, “Not asleep like you told me to, sorry.”

You smiled softly, “S’okay, you almost were, I woke you up.”

“Groceries put away?” he asked suddenly.

“Mhmm.”

Without saying anything else, he lifted the edge of the blanket closest to you, a clear invitation for you to slide in next to him. Huffing out a laugh, you kicked your shoes off and laid down, half on top of Rafe.

Rafe wrapped a leg and both arms around you, adjusting the blanket until he was happy, and then promptly fell asleep. You smiled and rested your forehead on his collarbone, content to lay in silence with him for a little while.

It couldn’t have been more than two hours before an alarm on his phone under the throw pillow started going off, startling you out of the half asleep state you’d fallen into and waking him up completely.

“Fuck,” he slurred, “don’t wanna get up.”

“Sleep more,” you told him, voice just as quiet.

“Can’t. Got a paper on the Black Plague due in a few days, don’t have enough sources yet.”

“Baby,” you muttered, “you’re running yourself ragged. If you don’t sleep your paper won’t be good anyway.”

Rafe shut his eyes tightly, “I know. But I just can’t.”

“Is there something I can do for you.”

“I-” he paused, one hand coming up to rub his eyes, “you aren’t my mom, I hope you know I really don’t see you that way. I don’t want to treat you like that, you need to know that you’re my equal and that you don’t have to take care of me, that I’m capable of it.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, “I know. Where’s this coming from?”

“Can you,” Rafe sighed, clenching his eyes shut for a second, “would you mind taking care of my laundry? It’s been a few weeks and I’m almost out of underwear.”

“Yeah, of course. I need to do mine too.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, don’t worry. I did offer.”

“Yeah, but I’ve seen my friends act like children, treat their girlfriend like a glorified mother. I don’t want to be like that.”

“You aren’t,” you reassured, “I promise.”

He smiled wryly, “Let me know if I am, yeah?”

“I will, don’t worry.”

A week later found you and Rafe sitting on the floor, side by side, backs leaning against the couch. He had a key spread out between the two of you, and you had a stack of exams handed in by two sections of the class. He had an even thicker stack of essays in one hand, and a blue pen in the other.

“Why blue?” you asked, twirling your own black pen in your fingers.

“Hmm?” he mumbled, looking over at you.

“Blue pen instead of black or red, why?” you asked again.

“Oh,” he smirked, “Ole Miss blue.”

“You,” your jaw dropped, “I hate you.”

“You so don’t. I’d even go as far to say you love me.”

“You know I do, please don’t act slick. You’re an MSU student now.”

“Uh huh, only two years compared to five at Ole Miss.”

“Grade your essays, I don’t want to talk to you,” you huffed, faking annoyance, and turned up the quiet music playing through the speaker.

He dropped his head back against the couch and whined, “These papers are so bad though. Like they barely even tried.”

“I’m sure they did, babe, but you’re used to graduate level writing now.”

“No,” he shoved one in your face, a strand of hair falling over his furrowed brow, “read this.”

Grabbing his wrist, you pulled it a few inches from your face to read. He stared at you as you scanned, and made a triumphant noise when you squinted,

“There are a few mistakes,” you mumbled.

“Generous,” he added, sounding smug.

“Don’t make fun of kids, they’re barely 18.”

“They’re assholes,” he corrected you, “like I knew it was a mostly freshman class, but goddamn. I hope I wasn’t this annoying back then.”

“You probably were. I mean, you were barely tolerable when you and I met.”

“No, I was relatively mature, I just didn’t know how to express emotion in a normal way.”

You put a hand on his shoulder and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, “You’ve come a long way.”

Rafe’s cheeks went a little red, and you cooed at him. He pushed your face away from his and muttered, “Grade the exams. You’re a menace.”

“Hey, sweetheart,” Rafe asked three nights before his last exam.

“Mhmm?” you answered, half asleep.

“Do we have Christmas plans this year?”

“Don’t think so, why?”

“I wasn’t sure if we were going to your parents’ house.”

“Haven’t talked to my mom in a while,” you frowned, “you think I should call her?”

“Up to you.”

“No, you’re part of this decision too. I know you’re exhausted, so if you don’t want to travel, we won’t.”

He frowned, “You can still go.”

“And leave you alone on Christmas?” He shrugged, not meeting your eye, and you pushed yourself up, staring down at him, “Rafe, you know I wouldn’t, right?”

“I mean, we’ve only been together for a year,” he mumbled.

“Not quite yet,” you corrected, absentmindedly, “but still, you’re important to me.”

“Well, in that case, call your mom, we’ll make the trip.”

“Are you sure? Why don’t you take a few days to think it over. I know you’ve never met them in person before. Doing it on a holiday would be a bit overwhelming.”

He laughed, “Yeah, I guess it would.”

“Sleep now, get back to me.”

“Fine.”

The afternoon of Rafe’s last final, you walked into his apartment to hear Christmas music blasting. Your boyfriend was sprawled out on the couch surrounded by beer bottles, and he gave you a lazy wave, “Sup, mamas.”

“Hey, Rafe. How’d the test go?”

“Excellent. Now I’m celebrating.”

“I see that.”

“It’s Christmas season now.”

“Now, huh?”

“Well the tree has been decorated for two weeks now, so I could argue that your logic is flawed.”

“No no,” he held his hand up, “it’s only Christmas now that I can focus on it.”

“You given any thought to Christmas plans?” you asked.

Rafe sat up suddenly, “Yes,” he pointed at you, “what if we FaceTime your parents instead of making the long ass drive.”

“Fine with me. I talked to my mom the other day and she told us that she’d put our presents in the mail anyway. They expected this.”

He frowned, “You sure?”

“Positive.”

“Great, sounds great.”

“Great,” you joked in response.

Rafe rolled his eyes and shoved your shoulder, “Drink with me.”

“I will. Picked some stuff up this afternoon for spiked eggnog, by the way.”

“Oh fuck yes. Homemade eggnog?”

“Of course.”

He followed you to the kitchen, so close he was almost tripping over your heels, and you huffed, coming to a stop. Rafe ran into your back before stepping back, a sheepish grin on his face, “Sorry.”

“Can I trust you to help me or are you too gone right now?”

“I can help,” he nodded, doing his best to look sober.

“Fine, you’ll stir, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He stood by the stove, wooden spoon in hand, feet spread further than shoulder width apart, dropping down to your height. You measured out the milk and cream and turned the heat up, giving him a weird look, “Why are you standing like that?”

“You were humming that song that’s like do you see what I see and I don’t, so I was curious.”

“It’s a song? You don’t have to take it literally.”

“Hmm, braincells gone. Everything is literal unless specified.”

You snorted, “Stir, dumbass,” before starting to separate the egg whites from the yolks. Keeping an eye on him, you started to whisk the egg yolks, pausing to help him add in the sugar, vanilla and nutmeg when the milk started bubbling.

“Smells good,” he told you, sniffing the mixture.

“It does. You ready to whisk it in?”

“Yes ma’am.”

Rafe very carefully poured and you whisked before pouring it back into the saucepan.

“You got a thermometer?” you asked him, flipping the heat back on.

He pulled open a drawer and brandished one eagerly, clearly proud of himself for being prepared, “Fuck yeah I do.”

“Put it in, tell me when it hits 160.”

Rafe stared, eyebrows furrowed, fully focused on the number. When he told you, you flipped the heat off again and poured in the rum and brandy. Making it a bit stronger than you normally would.

“Bro,” he said, taking a spoonful, “this is incredible.”

“Thanks, bro,” you answered, bumping your hip into his.

“Oh, hip check,” he bumped back, twice as hard, knocking you off balance.

“Rafe,” you glared, stepping away to pour two glasses, “don’t make me spill or you can make another batch on your own.”

“No,” he pouted, “I could never.”

“You couldn’t, no.”

You watched, appalled, as Rafe chugged his first glass, slamming it down and wiping his mouth with the back of his other hand.

“Shit’s good,” he told you earnestly.

“We’re not at a bar, Rafe. Take it easy.”

“Nope, blackout remember?”

“Jesus Christ,” you muttered, rubbing a hand over your forehead, “pour yourself another I guess.”

Rafe leaned in for a kiss, missing your mouth and landing on your chin, but it was like he didn’t even realize before he was moving around you back to the pitcher you’d poured it in.

It didn’t take many more cups for Rafe to be totally gone, curled up with you on the couch while the live action Grinch played in the background, eyes fluttering shut every few seconds.

“Tired?” you finally whispered, when you were pretty sure there was drool on your shirt.

“Huh?” he asked, blinking rapidly, “No.”

“Sure,” you responded, amused, “let’s go get ready for bed, huh?”

You put the empty cups in the dishwasher before guiding Rafe to the bathroom to make him brush his teeth and get undressed.

“Tryna get me naked?” he asked, swaying in place as he pushed his shirt over his head lazily.

“Yeah,” you answered, rubbing moisturizer in.

Rafe followed you to bed, falling in after you, mostly on top of you, knocking the breath out of your chest.

“Jesus, Cameron,” you wheezed.

“Rafe is fine,” he mumbled into your neck, and was out like a light a few seconds later.

You sighed, squirming under him to try and get comfortable before falling asleep yourself.

day 7 of @obxmermaid‘s holiday challenge: spiked eggnog or cider

#ole miss rafe #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron fic #rafe obx #rafe outer banks #outer banks #outer banks fic #obxmermaidholiday #college rafe

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purplerose244 · 3 years ago

Text

Irrational - Chapter 2: Restless

Hello everyone!! Here’s another piece for the @spacecampweek!! 💙

This shot if for the second prompt, “Sleep/Nap”, I got a little angsty on this one but there’s also fluffy hurt/comfort. Also this is a CollegeAU... of a future college? Krel is still an alien... and they were roommates 😎😎

I saw some amazing work for these prompts, my Campers mutuals you are amazing!! Enjoy!! 🥰

Summary: After just another night without sleep, work is still piling up for Seamus, and so is the feeling of doing everything wrong. Luckily, he got his roommate there to scold him.

Warnings: Mention of past emotional abuse

Read it on the AO3

Seamus used to think that being used to the all-nighters he used to pull in high school, with a heavy breath over his neck and a new list of problems to solve poking his back, facing college was going to be a breeze. He Had been an Elite student, he had graduated early thanks to his grades and he had been pulling through the weirdest Arcadia had to offer for a whole summer and more, coming out of it without a scratch – only a minor migraine whenever he thought about it. All being said, he had genuinely, absolutely, naively thought that his weekly cram sessions to stay in touch with the generic studies at the good old Arcadia Oaks High would have been enough preparation for what was waiting outside Mrs. Janeth’s classroom.

He really, really, really didn’t like being wrong. Especially since being wrong meant having to prepare a kilometric essay in a week about history of burrito engineering – huh, uhm? – in a week because he had decided it was absolutely normal taking four exams in the same period and leaving the hardest work for last.

Spoiler alert, it was not. It only made him regret his entire existence.

Or maybe that was the lack of coffee.

Which he was out of at the moment, great. It was the third time he had picked up his mug – ‘Count on me’, a little stupid graduation gift from Logan –, hoping to find restless juice only to suck air instead. It was also the third time he had groaned, holding his head between his hands and massaging his temples for a few seconds before continuing. It was getting harder and harder to focus on the screen of the computer at this point, even with the brightness at minimum.

He pinched his eyes with two fingers. Fourth time he did that.

Dang it, dang everything, his eyes were being tortured and only because he didn’t have his glasses at the moment. He had left his glasses in Eli’s castle in the sky – huh, huh? – last time he and Steve had dragged him along to watch another marathon of Earth Invaders – perfectly aware that he didn’t admit he liked it only out of pride. He didn’t absolutely need glasses, but it made it harder to keep his focus and the light was getting on his nerves. Everything was slowly starting to get on his nerves, but it was debatable if it was the inevitable stream of time extending his failure or because he had started the introduction of the essay right away instead of for last and was now doubting his entire half page – he would have screamed if he wasn’t this tired.

There were three more exams after this, the floating in midair one, the dreadful upside-down multiple choice and the GoGo Sushi exam – what? –, he couldn’t pull it off, he couldn’t!

This was hard, way more than he would have expected. He knew it was going to be tough nonetheless in a way, but he felt like whatever he was doing, it wasn’t right. He was learning nothing, all he was trying to memorize just didn’t stick with him. This papers, this situation, all the stressful work he was putting into, everything felt absolutely wrong.

Was he… was he the problem?

“Struggling to work your way through, huh? I’m not surprised.” Seamus gritted his teeth, pressing a hand over his forehead.

“Not now, dad.”

“Remember what I told you, when you decided to do be stupid and choose engineering instead of accounting? Remember what I said?” He wasn’t going to turn around, he wasn’t going to turn to find him in the room of his campus, with that awful scowl from whenever he found anything less than an A+ in his hands. “Try to go through the first college without me, see how you do! Guess what son, you’re making a mess. Just like I knew you were going to.”

He took his head between his hands, feeling it boiling. Stupid, stupid, irritating thoughts, always working against him. Always making him think that he was right. He wasn’t. He wasn’t right. He wasn’t… right?

No. No. No.

“I said not now, dad.” His room started to burn.

“When will you learn, Seamus? What are you trying to do, reach for the stars or some philosophical crap like that? You know the chances of being an astronaut are minimal, that is, if you manage to even get a master.” He could even feel him march behind him, his big and heavy steps, calculated in order to intimidate him. Every. Single. Time. Even here. “You should’ve followed the path I traced for you, the one I trained you for. You wouldn’t be struggling this much if you did.” There was a press on the back of his chair. “You would be happy.”

“Stop it.” Flames raised up from the ground.

“You’ll never make it without me.”

“Not now!” His notes and his desk were turning black.

“All I ever did was for your own good, you know that!”

“Not now dad!!” The photo he had left there gone as well.

“If you even think for a moment that an absolute failure like you will make it to the world, or even worse, that you could actually caught the attention of that foreigner-”

“I SAID-”

A noise. The door of the apartment was slammed closed after it had opened.

So did his eyes.

Seamus blinked, his entire perspective had changed. He wasn’t facing his desk, his face was right onto it, and he was looking at the door. In the way, the photo he had taken with all of their friends from high school, completely intact.

He felt the echo of his dream roaring into his ears before slowly disappearing.

Then, the absolute frustration took over.

Dang it, he had fallen asleep. He should had known, heck, he had known that he was going to feel miserable the moment he had decided to avoid the useless sleep. His cheek was attached to his notes, he was drooling over the equations, and he knew that the moment he was going to move his back was going to kill him. It was the horrible kind of tiredness, the drowsy one that was meant to stay, one hour nap was never going to suffice. His eyes felt like they were aflame, his stomach was growling horribly menacing to be emptied any time now.

On top of that, there was a good chance he hadn’t gone past the introduction for the essay. Oh how much he wanted to die right now. He closed his eyes, not to sleep, only to try to remember if his life was going somewhere. He was too tired to consider if this was realism or pessimism.

The was a thud outside his room, steps and stuff being moved around that caught his attention. A bigger thud, and half-screamed “Kleb!” in the air.

A voice emerged from behind his door. His shoulders relaxed.

“I am back! The morning shift at Hex Tech ended early, and Electronics did not have customers… again.” His annoyed tone was so intense, it made Seamus chuckle without having the strength to. Maybe Krel was the only person aside for himself that hated wasted time the most. “I hope you do not mind carnitas again, it was all Stuart had left from his truck!” Quick steps got closer, the door was opened. “It is good though, I wonder why it is always- Oh, you look horrible.” There he was, in human form as he preferred to be when he got out, even though he worked with friends.

Seamus cracked a laugh, without moving his face from the desk. It wasn’t comfy in the slightest, but the uneasiness went along well with how he was feeling inside.

“You’re sugarcoating it for me, how nice of you.” Krel did not look amused, that meant a discussion was coming and he had no strength into his body for that. “… okay, I get the feeling I did something bad, but my brain is all fried up so can you help me out on this one?”

The prince crossed his arms. Ouch, bad sign.

“You have been awake the entire night.”

“Is that a question?”

“Seklos and Gaylen, again?” He shook his head in disapproval. “I did not check on you this morning because I thought you were resting! Did you sleep at all??”

“… is that a trick question or…?”

“No tricks, not stunts, I am corpse serious.” It was a hobby of his, learning new expression and push them to the maximum. It was the funniest when he got a saying wrong. “Granted that I am no expert in regard of human necessities,” It was an old excuse considering he had been on this planet more than a few years now. “But there seems to be an agreement that sleeping is an important part of the day, so I am questioning if you are deliberately trying to destroy yourself.” That was actually a very good question, coming from a very good mind. As expected from this engineer genius.

Seamus shrugged, trying to gather around the best brain cells his brain had to offer at the moment.

“If it’s lunch time I got… huh, two hours at least. That’s something right?”

“Something very insufficient. You do know that is not okay, right?” Despite the scolding tone he got closer, placing his hand over his shoulder. Gently.

It was hard to get distant with him being worried, because despite the arrogance and the rationality this Akiridion cared so much about the people around him. Seamus was lucky enough to be one of them, and he wasn’t that interested in keeping up his pride anyway – he blamed his stupid sleep deprived brain for this. He leaned into his touch, covering a soundless sob with a yawn.

“… this is hard. I knew it was going to, but I don’t get if it’s supposed to be this hard.” He crossed his arms over the desk, hiding his face in the middle of it. “Is it normally this difficult, for everyone, or am I… really, really wrong?”

The hand on him twitched. There were a multitude of words unsaid in the air.

“You dreamed about him again, didn’t you.” Ah, the prince really knew him well at this point. “Can I begin by saying that your father is the biggest gloober I have ever met in my life and nothing he has said will ever be even the slightest bit useful?” His brain was hardly keeping up with his convoluted answers, but Seamus knew from the tone it was something uplifting. “I know that his words are hard to forget. Trust me, I understand what it is like to be conditioned by someone that is supposed to show you how to live your best life.” They really were too similar, the two of them. “But you are making progresses, you want to deal with your choices, and you are doing your best to become an astronaut like you have always wanted… that involves a procedure for some reason.”

How could he stay grumpy and melancholic with that pout on his face? This country had been pretty clear on the matter, the Akiridion was not allowed to improve space travel for humans. It had something to do with ‘allowing our specie to grow independently and finally reach the stars’, but Krel had taken it as ‘we can’t let someone else help us or we would look like soolians’. To be honest, the prince probably got it right.

Seamus looked up at him with a little smile.

“You’re never gonna let this one go, aren’t you.”

“Earth would be connected with the rest of the galaxy in a few months if they let me use even a single optimizer for the fuel capacitor. So yes, I am very not letting this one go.” Another laugh. Krel smiled as well. “Despite this ridiculousness, you are moving forward. I suggest you focus on your achievements, not on what you have not accomplished.”

It sounded so doable said from him, he simply had a way of being convincing. The blonde wasn’t sure if it was about his smarts or the way they had grown to care for each other.

He sighed, pressing his lips tightly together.

“It’s hard to do though…”

“I never said it wasn’t but might not be the best moment to think about it. Remember that time I told you Stuart got a sprain?” Miracuroulsy, inside his boiling brain, he remembered. Perhaps because the poor durian had gotten it after slipping onto a drop of guac – he had almost broken in coughs while laughing. “I brought him to the hospital back then, and I met Dr. Lake.” His hand started to rub his shoulder in a soothing motion. Ah, this felt nice. “She told me a lot of interesting facts, especially for humans that are going through college. Between those she recommended a good sleeping schedule, because restlessness affects the mood, which is additional stress.”

Ah, so not only his brain was making him feel absolutely miserable, it was also trying to make this even harder than it already was. Great, like he wasn’t a total failure already like dad always said… huh, maybe this was a little more internalized than he thought. He had left that house since months now, dad hadn’t called him at all, not even once. It was both a relief and a downer.

Seamus swallowed, turning again. Krel was looking at him, he smiled when their eyes crossed. It was really hard to keep his scowl with him around right now.

“… I have work to do, I… I don’t have time to sleep.”

“Seamus, when was your last exam?”

“What part of ‘my brain is out of service’ you don’t understand?” He got the eyes of no joking around, and he was forced to try and use his mind. “… like, yesterday?”

“Precisely. Now, again, I am in no way entitled to tell you how to take care of basic human necessities,” Okay now he was just enjoying playing the ‘I say I’m dumb but I’m really not’ card. “But I believe that studying all night after studying all night is not a good way to treat yourself, especially while you look like you got pummeled to the ground by Aja after telling her she was never supposed to be a warrior.” Whoa, that bad? “You have given a successful exam I believe, you will not receive the result for a while. There is no need to strain yourself, you are doing good.”

The blonde snorted, because motivational Krel was absolutely hilarious.

“I’ll let you convince me that I didn’t complete fail yesterday only because I have no proof of the opposite.” He did end before everyone else after rereading his answers three times. “But am I doing good? I’m a shell of a man right now, where exactly am I doing good?” He was probably admitting that this wasn’t good for himself, but there was no victory for the last statement anyway.

Krel hummed. Then he smirked, in his special way of his.

“Well, when I left, I asked you to rest every once in a while, and even though I was not conscious your body did obey. That was a wise choice of your subconscious, how about the rest of you follow suit?” This little irritating- “Not like my roommate should absolutely follow my rules, but still, how is not listening working out for you?” He snickered, shrugging a little. “I could also add that you are a mess, but not because of an overly high consumption of alcoholic substances. That is quite the accomplishment, congratulations!” He raised a thumb, something very off on him.

It took Seamus two blinks to grin back at that attempt at distracting him from his negativity. It worked, but just because he was grateful and feeling like his soul had left his body to go to a dance club, to respond to this guy he had all the energy in the galaxy.

“You sure you’re in the position of scolding me? What happened during Lake’s birthday party?”

Yep, there it was, the smirk turning into a pout. A super adorable pout.

“Akiridions are not able to sustain your alcohol, big deal!”

“Less about Akiridions and more about you, since Aja had a drink for each hand and was still able to beat her boyfriend at arm-wrestling.” An even bigger pout, if there was an argument, he could annoy him over was his rivalry with his sister. It was an easy victory. “Look, I get what you’re trying to do, but I have the essay for mech… stuff… something, to finish.” A massive eyebrow was raised. “Just because I can’t remember it very clearly right now doesn’t mean it’s not important!” Stupid brain, he was supposed to win the argument, collaborate!

No use, Krel was already on it, pulling him up by the shoulders. He was considerably less strong than his sister but still slightly better than the human average, which made him being pulled around towards his bed impossible to avoid. It did weird stuff to his chest. Seamus pondered if there was any reasons into trying to fight back – something that wasn’t going to gain him an even bigger scolding later –, deciding that even if it was a good idea he really didn’t have the energy. It was no use anyway, a moment later he was pushed onto the mattress. At that point it was impossible gathering the strength to get up once again, everything was beautifully bouncy and soft over there. He was keeping his eyes up out of pure will.

Krel moved him so he was laying down.

“Seamus, how long does it take to become an astronaut?”

“Again asking me stuff Mr. Tarron, you’re really pushing me on my limits.” Silence. Seamus struggled, but even right now it was a pretty easy information to remember. “Well, I need a master’s degree which is what I’m trying to get, then two years of professional experience, a thousand of hours pilot-in-command time on jet aircraft…”

“It’s quite a lot, is it?” He blinked, a little taken back by the interruption, slowly nodding. “Then why making it miserable? The way towards your dream does not have to be awful.”

Oh. Right.

Dad used to say that it had to be, that until he was accomplished, he was nothing. He had never said anything useful, for real. Seamus smiled.

“Yeah… yeah, I forget about that sometimes.”

“Try not to, space does not go anywhere. Literally, space-time does not move.” Krel sat onto the bed. “One day you will get there, and it will be because of your effort, but you don’t need to rush it. I hope you will have a good memory of this time as well.” His eyes were so soft right now. It wasn’t very often that he could get the most of this guy’s kindness. This was definitely a memory he wanted to keep. With that being said, the smirk coming back was also pretty welcomed. “Besides, I will be there holding your hand the entire time. No need to be anxious.”

This guy was the worst. And the best. And Seamus could do nothing else but sink his head into the pillow and laugh out loud, feeling the last of his energy slowly disappearing into that sound. He was almost in tears, moving to wipe them away.

“Why are we friends again? Scratch that, why are we roommates even?”

“Because Steve snores, Logan is not ready to leave his house, and I can hack into all streaming services without the need to log in.” The last reason would have been enough. “Also… you were there when my parents passed away, no matter how isolated and insufferable I was. I have every intention to do the same.” His cheeks reddened slightly. Never mind, this one would have sold him. Immediately. “If you are truly not feeling like sleeping, could you at least consider eating something? You need to gain your energy from somewhere.” He had gained this little mom tendency by being his roommate, finally letting his most caring side take over. It was still a little new for him, but also pretty… very endearing.

No one had really taken care of him before. Not since mom left, definitely not with dad around. Seamus could hardly get used to how he didn’t have to deal with every conversation ending with shouts, that an argument didn’t mean he was going to be punished, and that he didn’t have to gain his privileges like watching TV or go out with his friends through grades. Even with his brain all messy, it was a warm feeling.

It made him want to try to at least make Krel feel less worried.

“… no, I… I think I’ll try to sleep some more. Properly this time.” The prince made a surprised face, probably not expecting him to give up this soon.

He was clearly pleased by it though.

“Very well, I will leave you to it.” He got up. Seamus’ hand was on his wrist almost unconsciously.

“… Krel?” The prince hummed, clearly taken back but still close. “Can you… stay around? You don’t have to do anything, you can read a book or watch something on the phone, and only until I fall asleep.” He was too tired to feel embarrassed. “I… kinda don’t wanna stay on my own.”

“You’re never gonna make it without me!”

For a moment there was no reaction. Then Krel smiled, nodding. Seamus expected him to take the chair or something, instead he found himself naturally shifting away as the Akiridion lied next to him, his shoulders touching the pillow. He took a book from the nightstand, – ‘Love Amongst the Dragons’, he had forgotten where he had taken that from – one Seamus hadn’t had the time to read with his stressful study schedule happening. It was something the prince used to rarely do, reading, considering his general reluctance at accepting the terrestrial method of learning. It turned out you cannot learn college stuff through thermogenic osmosis – not without overheating apparently – so he had begrudgingly accepted the educational method.

As it turned out, he did not mind it as much as he showed. It was a peaceful view every time.

“I will be silent, please get some rest now.” Seamus nodded. His mind was too foggy to register how he was leaning his head over his shoulder, hearing a little gulp from him. Was he doing something he wasn’t supposed to? Whatever, Krel was warm. Comfy too. “… Seamus?” The blonde hummed. “Are you still tense? From before?”

Right, he asked not to be alone, it wasn’t a mystery why. He was too tired to care about keeping his pride, so he nodded, fighting the urge to sleep for a few more seconds.

“A bit.”

“… very well, then.” His voice got softer, as soft as the feeling blossoming onto his forehead. Krel had brushed it with a kiss, in a sound that barely moved something into his mind. Seamus’ chest felt lighter, as the prince quickly went back with his nose between the pages. The blonde didn’t understand why the reluctance. Was this important? It sure felt nice. “T-there, you should feel slightly better now. Have a good rest.” Seamus gave him a look. His cheeks were getting redder. He was cute. Krel was really cute.

The blonde smiled lazily, snuggling closer, finally closing his eyes.

“I always do when you’re with me.” All he registered after that was the prince holding his breath, like he had said something meaningful. Who cared, he was tired and warm, it could wait.

…

… three hours later Krel had left for the afternoon shift and his usual tutoring lessons with Steve and Lake. There was a burrito still wrapped left onto his nightstand. And Seamus, with a more rested body and a finally functioning mind, was having a full existential crisis while screaming into his pillow.

Dang it, four exams still to finish, and a crush on a snarky genius from another planet.

Studies were not the most stressful part of college anymore.

#space camp week #space camp #toa space camp #kreamus #krel x seamus #krel tarron #seamus johnson #tales of arcadia #toa #toa fic #toa fanfiction #fanfiction #toa 3below #3below

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asteriismos · 5 years ago

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Hard To Get -- Richie Tozier

Authors Note : I got this idea randomly and just had to write it. Idk if it is even that good but here I go

Warning(s) : smut, seventeen! losers club

Synopsis : As far as anyone knew in school, Y/N was untouchable by anyone. However, Richie Tozier plans to change that.

As far as anyone was concerned, Y/N L/N was off limits.

And it wasn't because you had a boyfriend. Quite the contrary in fact. You just didn’t think that high school guys were worth your time. It wasn't that unbelievable, most of them don’t bathe, expected a call back always, or put too much cologne on to the point where you gagged while passing them in the hallways.

Most people just rolled their eyes and called you picky.

You get what you can get, Y/N.

They’re not that bad once you give them a chance.

You weren't going to budge. Besides you had better things to do anyways in school. It was your senior year so the classes were the hardest you had ever had before, exams were coming up, and you had a social life that you tried to keep throughout all of the homework and studying bullshit. You had convinced yourself that you didn’t have time for a boyfriend, or even a one night stand.

You used to be like that in your junior year of high school, going around parading yourself like a full course meal in front of the boys in your class. It scored you about two hookups, and after both of them happened, you decided to make some major changes to your life. Your mother told you that boys weren't going to get you anywhere, so you rolled with that.

That was until Richie Tozier came along.

“I don’t understand it,” Richie Tozier exclaims to Eddie Kaspbrak and Stanley Uris in seventh period study hall. “Holly calls me, tells me that she wants to go on a date, and then the minute she hooks up with me, she's horrible.” He was aware that the people seated around him and his two friends could probably hear their conversation, but it’s not like it mattered anyways. So what if the whole student body knew Holly was a bitch and bad in bed, Richie didn’t care.

Eddie sighed, “You keep believing that all the popular girls are what you need, and then once you’re proven wrong, you keep believing it anyways.”

Maybe he was right. The girls at the school who threw themselves around like confetti were the worst people, and honestly, Richie didn’t want to give them any of his time if he was just going to get more depressed after the interaction.

“Yeah, but almost all the girls are like that at this goddamn school, name one that isn’t,” Richie said.

“Well, there’s Y/N,” Stan said quietly, waving his hand in an ‘I don’t know’ kind of manner.

Richie laughed, full belly laughed to fill the silence in the room. The teacher looked up from her book and gave him a look before shaking her head, putting her hand on her forehead and going back to whatever she was reading. Richie looked at Stan and said, “I don’t think Y/N has been like that since last year with what’s his face.” He was referring to your last hookup, Kevin Graden. The whole school probably remembered the day after you two hooked up and he yelled down the courtyard towards you that he wanted to marry you. It was embarrassing, not even for Kevin, but for you as well.

“So? You just implied that all the girls throw themselves around like candy, but she doesn’t,” Stan was now looking up from his calculus homework and at Richie instead. “What? Do you not think you could get her? Is that it, Tozier?”

Richie bit his lip, thinking of you. You were pretty kind towards him whenever he asked you questions in chemistry class, and you never did get mad at him for his stupid jokes. You were probably the only girl that hasn’t had some kind of a thing with a guy in the past year. Maybe he should go for you.

“No, I know I can get her,” Richie stated, pushing Stanley in the shoulder in a teasing manner. “Just wait and see, Uris.”

The bell rang, and it was now the passing period to get to 8th. Richie’s last class was chemistry, just like yours. He would figure out a way to ask you out on a date and work his way from there.

Once he stepped into class, he saw that you were already sitting in your seat, the one in front of his own towards the back of the classroom. Richie admired how the sun shined just perfectly on your H/C hair, damn, you were actually really cute.

He walked to his desk and sat down, pushing up his glasses by the rim and getting out his notebook from his backpack. You were doing the same, but dropped a pencil that you were reaching for. It rolled backwards on the floor and landed by Richie’s backpack. Before you could reach down and grab it, his hand was already there, grabbing the pencil and sitting up to look at you.

You looked at Richie and smiled, taking the pencil from his hand, saying, “Thanks, Rich.”

“It’s no problem Y/N,” Richie said. You were about to turn back around in your seat, but he interjected and said, “Hey, actually Y/N, I was meaning to talk to you about something.”

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“I was thinking,” He started, looking into your eyes through his glasses. “That maybe you and I could go to the ice cream parlor tonight?”

Your face showed some confusion for a moment, and then displayed shock when you realized that he was trying to ask you on a date.

“Rich, I-”

“Before you say no, just hear me out. Give me a shot, okay? I’m not looking to hook up with you, just a date.”

It was a minute of silence, and then finally, once the teacher started class, you turned around and whispered : yes.

And that sealed the deal. You went on the date with Richie and you enjoyed it more than you thought you would. He was funny, and he payed for the double scoop cone that you got. And then afterwards, he walked you home and gained a kiss on the cheek from you once he made sure you were at your home safely.

You hated to admit it, but dating actually wasn't that bad. With Richie it seemed normal, it seemed like you didn't have to try and flaunt yourself around. And he never stepped over the boundaries that you had put in place. Every time he kissed you he made sure that it was right to do so, and when you two really got into it, he wouldn't push it further. It was a little strange that he hadn't tried anything, especially since he himself wasn't the most innocent boy in Derry. You had heard the stories of the numerous hookups he’s had.

It had been two months since that initial date, and you two were now basically an exclusive couple. You hung out with his friends more often than not and you actually really liked them. They were all nice to you, and they were a good crowd, way better than the ones you’ve been in in the past.

That’s where you were heading now, to get to the lunch table that you shared with Richie, Stanley, Eddie, Bill, Ben, and Beverly. You could see it as you walked closer, seeing that Richie was already there with an open seat next to his own for you, and Stanley was there sitting next to Eddie. The other three were probably still in the lunch line.

Richie had his back to you, not seeing you walking closer to the table. As you got closer, you heard his voice, saying, “Yeah. We’re so close.”

Close? Close to what?

You slowed your walking down to stand there to eavesdrop more.

“I’ll be in her pants by the end of the week, I just know it,” Richie said to Stan and Eddie. The two of them looked past him and saw you standing there, your mouth agape, hands beginning to shake under the lunch tray that you held.

Richie stopped talking, giving a confused to Eddie when the smaller boy pointed behind him and at you.

You didn't know whether to scream or cry, but both of them seemed to come out at the same time. Tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to spill out past your eyelashes once Richie turned around to face you. He knew that he had fucked up, he knew that there was no way that he could get out of this. Still, he tried to bargain with you.

“Y/N I-”

You cut him off. “Don’t. Don’t try to make this better Richie, I knew that you just wanted to get with me.”

He shook his head, walking towards you. You backed away, saying, “I didn’t want to fucking believe it, I thought that you were a good guy. But of course you had to get me, right? You heard the stories and you thought to yourself, man, I need to tap that. Well, too bad Tozier. Don’t ever fucking talk to me again.”

Your shaking hands threw your lunch tray towards him, the pasta being served by the lunch lady was now spilled over the hawiian shirt that he wore, splattering onto his glasses. Before he could say anything else to you, you were running outside the building, turning the corner and beginning to cry harder.

You silently cursed yourself for letting this happen. You knew that you should’ve said no to him, that you should’ve listened to your inner voice and continued being single. But you had been so tired of being lonely.

The worst part was, you actually really began to like Richie. But no, he had broken your heart. He didn’t really like me, you thought to yourself.

And for the next two weeks, you didn’t talk to him at all. He never abided by your wishes of him doing the same. He always showed up to try and make up for his actions, tapping your shoulder in chemistry class to try and make you turn around, showing up at your locker after school. Hell, he even showed up at your house once. Each time you would look at him and then pretend like you didn't hear anything that he was saying.

It really hurt to pretend that you wanted nothing to do with him when you so desperately did, but you weren't going to let yourself fall into his trap.

It was Friday night around six, your mom and dad went out on a date night so the house was to yourself. you were sitting in your room finishing up an English essay when your phone rang. You squinted your eyes in confusion, since you had only given out your personal phone number to a few people. One of those people being Richie, who you suspected was calling to try and make up. Half of you told yourself to go to your bathroom and take a shower, giving you more of a reason to avoid him if he called again. But the other half wanted to answer it, so you could finally give Richie a piece of your mind.

The latter ended up winning, so you grabbed your phone and pulled it so that the cord reached to your seat at your desk.

“Hello?” You said, waiting to hear Richie’s I’m so sorry’s and please forgive me’s.

“Hey, Y/N?” Stanley Uris.

“Stan, hey. Sorry I thought that you were Richie,” You said with a tiny laugh.

You heard a laugh on the other end of the line, followed by, “Yeah, I understand that. That’s what I’m actually calling you about.”

“If you’re going to apologize for him, tell him he can shove his apology up his-”

“No,” He interjected. “This is all from me, I swear.”

“Go on then.”

“I was the one who told him that he should go for you. I didn’t think that he was actually going to do it. And even when he did ask you out on a date, I thought that he was only trying to get with you to fuck,” He said. “ But as time went on and you two went on more dates, I could tell that he was really starting to like you a lot. He didn’t mean the things that he said. Hell, he hasn’t shut up about you for the past two weeks.”

“Then why did he say those things?” You asked. That was still the part that didn’t make much sense.

“He’s Richie. He’s stupid,” Stan said. You two both shared a laugh before he started talking again.

“He really likes you Y/N and he’s really sorry. I guess I’m asking you to give him another chance. Richie called me about ten minutes ago and said that he was going to go to your house and try and apologize, but that this was the last time. He’ll leave you alone after this if you want him to. So if you really want nothing to do with him, then you have the chance to tell him once he’s there. Bye Y/N.”

The line disconnected.

You heard the doorbell ring and you knew exactly who it was.

Opening the door once you reached it, you saw Richie standing there, dressed in a black sweater and shorts. His hair was disheveled and he seemed to have been previously deep in thought.

“Before you shut the door on my face, please just hear me out Y/N. If you really don’t want anything to do with me then I’ll leave but-”

“Shut up and kiss me Tozier.”

You leaned forward, clashing your lips against his own and balling your hand on his chest with his sweater in your fist. He kissed you back, pulling you closer to him with his arms wrapping around your waist.

After a few minutes, you pulled away and wasted no time pulling him into your house, closing the door and pulling him into your room. You once again kissed him again, his glasses fogging due to the hot contact. The kiss was a little sloppy, but nonetheless it felt good. You forgot how much you missed him.

“Wait, wait,” Richie pulled away from you, putting his hand on your cheek to make sure you were looking into his eyes. “We don’t have to - I know how you feel about stuff like this and we don’t have to. You don’t have to forgive me this way if you don’t want to.”

You breathed out, your eyes never leaving his as you pulled off your shirt, throwing it behind him. His eyes widened.

“I do want this, I want you, Rich,” You said, almost pleading with him. Your hands pawed at his chest, reaching down at the edges of his sweater, silently asking if you could pull it off.

His arms raised up in an answer, allowing you to pull off his sweater and putting your hands on his toned chest.

He kissed you this time, pushing you to walk backwards until you were falling onto your bed. Your hands moved to push away the blankets and pillows, giving him room to lay down on top of you. His hands went to your sides, rubbing up and down gently, causing you to moan in his mouth. He took that chance to slip his tongue past your teeth, exploring before pulling away and peppering kisses along your jawline.

Your hands went to his hair, pulling on his curly locks with adoration. You watched as he kissed your collarbone, neck, and chest. He didn't leave one spot unkissed, wanting to show you how much he truly felt for you. You were starting to get a bit impatient, wanting to see him in whole and feel him inside of you. You hadn’t had sex in a while and you forgot how good it felt. In addition, you knew that with Richie it was going to different than every other time. He truly cared for you, he wasn't just in it for the fuck.

“Richie, please, I want you now,” You whispered, pulling on his hair once again and watching him get rid of the rest of both your clothing.

He was positioned at your entrance, looking up at you for clarification for the last time to make sure that this was truly okay.

You nodded, hissing a tiny bit when he pushed into you and stretched you out. His hands came up to hold your face, his thumb rubbing your cheeks lovingly. He didn't move, waiting for you to give him the okay. When you whispered a soft go on, he started thrusting in and out at a slower pace, finally getting a good pace.

He thought that you looked beautiful, your hair spread on the bed like a halo as he made love to you. Your skin was glistened with sweat and made you look so gorgeous, it almost took his breath away. You thought that Richie also looked super good above you, his lips pink and flushed, just like his cheeks that he puffed out.

You knew you could never get enough of him.

“Rich,” You moaned out, your fingers pressing into his back. His hand came down and messed with your clit, allowing you to get more and more close to your release. “I think I’m going to-”

“Let it out, darling,” He whispered, kissing you once again.

And you did, your high sneaking up on you and crashing you into a wall of pleasure. His hand helped you ride it out, as well as you started to move your hips with his to help him reach his own.

Richie finally did pulling out quickly, and soon enough both of you were muttering each others names and laid there together, breathing in and out in euphoria.

He got up and grabbed a towel from your laundry basket and wiped everything off of you and in between your legs, then laid down next to you and enveloped you into his arms, not letting go for dear life.

It was silent for another five minutes. Both of you just laying with each other, enjoying the feeling of being close to each other.

“I think I love you,” You muttered to him, turning around and facing him. You kissed the tip of his nose, a smile appearing on your face as he grinned.

“I think I love you too, Y/N.”

#richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #stanley uris #bill denbrough #beverly marsh #ben hanscom #mike hanlon #IT movie #it movie imagine #it movie 2017 #it movie 2019 #richie tozier x reader #richie tozier imagine #richie tozier smut #it movie x reader

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neowinestainedress · 4 years ago

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↬ title: There is a glorious sunrise, dappled with the flickers of light. ↬ CHAP 1 | CHAP 2 | ↬ pairings: jung jaehyun x kim doyoung ; jung jaehyun x dong sicheng ; lee taeyong x kim doyoung | side suh johnny x lee ten ↬ summary: After seven years in heaven with Doyoung, an unexpected divorce shakes Jaehyun’s life upside down and it seems impossible for him to move on. But Jaehyun finds out that past the curses and cries, there is happiness and forgiveness. ↬ genre: Divorce | Post-divorce | Mild hurt/comfort | Strangers to FWB to lovers | Getting together | Single parent | Adopted children | Angst with an happy ending | Family feels | Family fluff | Aged-up characters ↬ warnings: In this chapter just divorce and the aftermath of it. ↬ words count: 10.6k ↬ ao3 link

Chapter one: There’ll be happiness after me

Jaehyun always called himself a dreamer. A hopeless romantic, some may say.

Jaehyun believed in forever. Since he was young he would lose himself in endless pages about people finding ‘the one’ and staying by their side till the end. He knew that someday it would’ve been his turn to experience something like that, it was written somewhere in the stars that he would’ve had his happy ending, his perfect love story with ‘the one’.

Jaehyun believed he had found the one when his eyes started to get lost in Doyoung’s after they met during their first year of college. He didn’t plan any of what came after when their gaze first met, but he loved the way destiny pulled them closer day by day. The dates planned with Johnny’s help, his best friend, who somehow also managed to know Doyoung very well and bring him with him on every occasion. Their nights spent talking together on Yuta’s dorm rooftop when his parties would get too loud and they needed to breathe again. He loved how they would casually talk about their life plans having no idea they would’ve been part of them in the future.

Jaehyun really believed in a forever between them. He had started to believe in it when they moved together in a small two-room apartment to share the rent the second year of college and sharing the same small places brought them a strange sense of joy. Somehow, coming home to him was enough to help him relief from the stress that the hundred of missing essays and exams gave him. Somehow, washing dishes and doing the laundry was a little bit funnier with Doyoung by his side, moving around the house repeating whatever he had to study about statistics and financial risks. And it was funny to laugh at their friends telling them they wouldn’t have lasted for more than three months together when the months passed became six. And it was also funnier to giggle and blush when, giving up on their break up, their friends started to call them ‘the married couple’ of the group.

Jaehyun started to believe in a forever, even more, when they started to live together even after college, their relationship still going strong. And when they became the first married couple of their group of friends for real, after three years together.

Maybe he had believed in it a little bit too much. So much that when the music stopped and he was left alone dancing with no sound on, he felt like a fool. The spell had broken and he didn’t notice. He was so lost, high up in the sky, blinded by a fake positivity, that he didn’t think how bad it would’ve hurt once he fell down.

He always tried to see the good in every situation. But now, that he was brought back down to earth, he could see it for what it was.

It was the end. They had reached the finish line.

“Maybe we rushed things too much,” Doyoung said standing in front of the other side of the table in the middle of their kitchen. Jaehyun wasn’t looking at him, he was giving him his back, his hands resting on the countertop. He couldn’t put himself to look in his eyes, not when in them there was no love left for him, anymore.

“After seven years, Doyoung?” He asked, bitterness filling his voice as he spat out his full name. No pet names or lovey-dovey, there was no place for them anyway in their story.

“I wanted to give us a try till the end, Jae,” The black-haired man tried to explain. He wanted to get closer to his husband, trying to calm him down, maybe with a hug, that was something that always worked. But now, was that his position to do something like this?

“Was it something that I did or said? Is there a way I can change? Anything to help this get better?” Jaehyun mumbled through sobs, his hands moving swiftly trying to wipe the tears from his face, his back still turned. He hated being vulnerable, usually with anyone but Doyoung, but now he was the cause of all the pain, and he didn’t want him to see him in that condition. But Doyoung knew him too well. And even without looking, he could picture him in his mind. His beautiful warm brown eyes glossy, his soft cheeks flushed red and marked by the salty drops, his lips swollen from the bites of his teeth trying to hold in the sobs. Doyoung hated that sight, and he hated even more that it was because of him.

“No, you didn’t do anything. Is just…” The older stopped, not so sure about the words that were going to come after. He knew Jaehyun was already hurting, he didn’t want to twist the knife in his open wound.

“Is just? Say it, Dodo. Don’t beat around the bush.” Mumbled the brown-haired turning around. Fuck trying not to be weak in front of his eyes. Doyoung had already seen him at his worst, and he didn’t care if now his eyes weren’t his welcoming home anymore. He had to see him, to see his lips move while pronouncing words that would’ve haunted him forever.

“I feel like this is not my place anymore.” This time the one hiding was the oldest. His eyes met the floor as soon as the words slipped out of his mouth, he didn’t want to see Jaehyun’s pretty eyes sadden even more and his face drop into pain. But he didn’t need that, because the choked sob coming from Jaehyun’s lips was more than enough to hurt like a knife in the chest.

“Yoonoh, please,” Doyoung tried to say starting to move closer to the other man, his hand reaching for his husband.

“Don’t call me that and don’t you dare touch me!” He screamed taking some steps back. It wasn’t supposed to come out so cruel and aloof. The normal Jaehyun would’ve slapped himself for this kind of reaction, but now he was dealing with a pain he never imagined to feel. Doyoung was supposed to come home like any other day, hug him from behind, leave a trail of kisses on his neck and then reach for his lips. They were supposed to eat dinner together, do the dishes, and then plunge on the sofa to watch something on the TV together. They were supposed to leave it as a background sound while they made love to each other and then fell asleep there, just to wake up in the middle of the night because one of them fell on the ground. Jaehyun had planned everything but this. Doyoung wasn’t supposed to come home three hours before the usual just tell him that they needed to talk and then ask for a divorce. And no matter how much he knew that he needed to let go, he just couldn’t. Jaehyun couldn’t believe that that was the destiny written for them. Where was his happy ending? Where was his forever? Why Doyoung wasn’t the one?

And letting himself fall against the kitchen cabinet was a childish thing to do, he was a twenty-seven years old man, yet he couldn’t bring his legs to carry him to their bedroom and fall apart there. He couldn’t even force himself to deal with all of it like an adult.

Doyoung’s heart broke into a million pieces, that was the exact reason why he hesitated so much to drop the news. He knew Jaehyun would’ve reacted that way, and he didn’t want to witness that.

“Jaehyun, please.” He tried once again to step closer to him, but somehow the younger would crouch further against the cabinet.

“It’s because there’s somebody else, right? You found someone better than me.” Jaehyun started to mumble, his watery eyes looking up at Doyoung’s and his lower lip shaking.

“No, there’s nobody else, don’t be stupid.” That was one of Jaehyun’s biggest fear, they had talked about it several times, since the first years of their relationship, and normally he would’ve answered with ‘There’s nobody better than you’ but saying it now, would’ve felt like a joke. Doyoung was still convinced than almost none could come close to Jaehyun, or else he wouldn’t have loved him for such a long time, but right now it felt out of place. He was the one leaving.

Jaehyun sighed and got up once again. “Well, whoever it is I hope they’ll be a beautiful fool.” He said moving past him, their shoulders brushing against each other. And normally he would’ve never said something like this, but he couldn’t think past the anger and fury and regret. Maybe if nobody would’ve been able to take his spot next to him he would’ve come back, right? Maybe they were destined to be together, they just need to take a wider route. But he knew that it was a wishful thinking and a delusional dreaming. That was their last stop.

“Why?” He kept repeating under his breath as he paced back and forth in the living room of their house. He knew that Doyoung didn’t own him anything. It was life, people come and people go. You can’t do anything to make them stay if they don’t want to. You can’t force somebody to love you once the thrill expires. But the pill is hard to swallow when you had other plans in mind. When you dared to dream too far and reality collides with it, crushing your fantasies into pieces.

“Jaehyun,” Doyoung called him, trying to gain his attention. And he turned around. “I loved you so damn much, every single day that we spent together was filled with love. I just don’t feel the thrill of before. It’s like our story turned from gold to grey. I just can’t picture me being by your side in the future.” Doyoung knew that his words were like stabs but he also knew that Jaehyun needed to know. Maybe now he would throw a framed picture or a vase at him, but in the future, when he could rationalize everything, he would’ve got why he was doing this.

“But why?” Jaehyun’s words came out strangled and unusually high for his warm baritone voice.

“I don’t know.” And it was true. Doyoung had no idea how to explain what he felt. He could still remember the pain when he started to feel that something was off. When waking up with Jaehyun by his side stopped giving him the same usual strength to get up and face a hard day at work. Or when coming home he just wanted to eat, take a shower and go to bed instead of talking with his husband. He didn’t know when he started to fake smiles when his mother invited them at lunch on Sundays and asked about their future plans together. He had no idea why Jaehyun started to fade and his sparkling shining golden aura turned into a faded bronze.

“So you’re leaving me for no reasons?” Jaehyun asked, sniffling.

“I –” Doyoung stopped, a heavy breath coming out of his mouth.

“What I deserve I guess.” He huffed running his fingers through his hair, pulling them back.

“I know why I’m leaving you. I don’t know why I started to feel like this! Do you think I’m happy that our story has to end like this? Do you think I thought of this when I married you? Do you think it’s going to be easy for me?” Doyoung raised his voice in frustration. He hated fighting with Jaehyun. It wasn’t something that happened so often but when it did it was hell. Jaehyun was so headstrong and didn’t want to listen to anybody, he would simply close in his shell and leave you out, with few or no answers. Then he would usually calm down, and come back to talk, but now they had no time for this.

“But that’s what you want, Do. How hard is going to be for you if the divorce is going to be the one thing to make you happy?” Jaehyun retorted.

Doyoung didn’t answer. Jaehyun was right. That was what he wanted because he knew that staying with him didn’t bring him happiness anymore. But for Jaehyun, he still was a source of happiness, the one he imagined to spent his whole life with. And he couldn’t compare their pain. So silence was the best thing he could give him.

And Jaehyun wanted to keep on whining, screaming questions that simply wouldn’t have found any answers. He felt lost. What was going to be of him? No, he wasn’t addicted to Doyoung, he knew that he could survive by himself, but the fact that he couldn’t see the clearer picture terrorized him. He wanted to ask him to hug him, he wanted to let himself go in his arms, the ones who always calmed him down. He wanted to feel the warmth of his body for the last time, bury his face in the crook of his collarbones and breath in his scent. He wanted to hear his soft voice whisper in his ears that everything was going to be fine. He wanted to pretend that everything was fine. That all of that was just a terribly realistic nightmare. But at what cost? Of being hurt even more when reality would’ve hit him once again?

His eyes flickered to Doyoung’s, trying to still see himself in them, but there was no trace anymore. A sad smile painted his face and then his head faced the floor again. The cold hit him all of a sudden, Doyoung wasn’t his homeland anymore. And there was nothing he could do to change it. There was nothing to defend anymore, now that their land wasn’t theirs anymore.

Another heavy sigh left Jaehyun’s lips, while his hand tried to cancel the marks the tears had left on his face. He felt like his soul had been sucked away from him and he just wanted to sleep, maybe in another place, he would’ve had a happy ending. Yet, he wasn’t doing anything. Jaehyun was standing still, in the middle of their living room, looking outside of the window, with his arms wrapped around himself, the only hug he could count on at the moment.

The green outside was too bright, too hopeful for him. Right now he just wanted to add sadness to his pain and cry all the liquids he had in his body, but it seemed like he already did. He hugged himself tighter, for the first time, Doyoung’s gaze on him made him feel naked like the one of a stranger. After he had shown him everything he had, all of his most vulnerable spots, he felt uncomfortable under his gaze. A river run down his spine, he couldn’t believe he was feeling like this in front of him. And feeling so unfamiliar under his gaze made him wonder, will he ever be able to let somebody else get as deep under his skin as Doyoung got? He shivered at the thought of opening up to somebody else, of other hands touching him, other lips kissing him. He couldn’t imagine that.

He gave a quick look ad Doyoung another time. The man was leaning against the back of the couch, his hands in the pocket of his suit pants and his head bent looking at his feet.

“I’m sleeping in the host bedroom,” He whispered before walking upstairs quickly, without waiting for the other to answer. He didn’t want to sleep in their bed, or what used to be theirs. He knew that knowing he was under the same roof without being his anymore would’ve consumed him enough.

When he arrived in the bedroom he stopped in front of the mirror. He looked like a ghost. His hair messy and wet from the sweat that pearled his forehead, his white shirt crumpled, his eyes red like his lips and cheeks. He felt so pathetic, he was supposed to face things differently, not like a teenager who just got dumped. But how could he take it well after all the years he had given to Doyoung? Jaehyun knew that it would’ve got better. That one day the cold he felt as soon as his body came in contact with the lonely bed would’ve disappeared. He knew that he would’ve walked out of that door with a genuine smile on his face. He knew he would’ve reinvented himself, and started to feel something once again. He knew there would’ve been brighter days, but now he just wanted to fall in the oblivion of his sadness. He had just lost the love of his life out of the blue. He couldn’t face being positive. He couldn’t face reinvention.

༄

Jaehyun tried to be his old positive self one week after that talk. Maturity had hit him, and he realized that being petty wouldn’t have led him anywhere. He didn’t want Doyoung to feel guilty for something he had all the rights to do and to feel. He also didn’t want to stain their relationship with bad blood. He woke up, trying to wear his best smile, and see the good in that situation like he always did. He tried to go past everything that had happened in the last seven days. But it wasn’t easy looking at Doyoung packing his things up and discuss what he would’ve taken away with him and what would’ve stayed there. Not when memories of them moving in together popped in Jaehyun’s mind every time the older pointed at something to ask him if he wanted it or he could’ve taken it away. And Jaehyun used to shrug almost at everything, he could’ve taken everything, maybe it would’ve helped him to forget him and don’t find him in every corner of the house.

“Are you staying at yours?” Jaehyun dared to ask, knowing damn well that if the answer would’ve been different he would’ve hated it.

Doyoung shook his head. “I’m staying at Donghyuck’s place for a while. I haven’t told my family, yet.” He admitted, his eyes timidly searching for Jaehyun’s. And it felt too strange how their eyes would avoid each other, stealing glances like thieves in the night. It felt like going back to when they first met, but now there wasn’t the excitement of getting to know each other, now there was the fear of hurting each other.

Jaehyun nodded, his lower lip trapped in his teeth, typical of him when he was embarrassed and didn’t know what to say. And he thought that he also didn’t say anything to his parents, or his friends. How do you even say something like this? Why nobody ever teaches you how to deal with bad things? Was a text too harsh to communicate that he wasn’t going to spend the rest of his life with Doyoung anymore? Was it too selfish when he didn’t feel to talk about it with anyone and have to sit there and look at the pity in their eyes?

“Did you– did you already contacted a lawyer?” The younger stuttered.

Doyoung sighed and got up from his bent position over one of the boxes he was filling up with his stuff.

“I wanted to be sure we were doing this.” He said, looking straight at Jaehyun. He couldn’t read his expression, the younger had always been pretty good at hiding his emotion anyway, he couldn’t expect anything else now. “Maybe we can take a pause if you don’t wan–”

“No,” Jaehyun stopped him before he could finish. “I’m fine with a divorce if that’s what you want.” There was no use to tergiversate. Being on a break and for what? Hoping that the flame of love would’ve sparkled inside of Doyoung again all of a sudden; just to be let down once again. No matter how much he hated or didn’t plan this, it was their end, and he had to accept it.

That was supposed to be the hardest part, right? Past all the devastation of the surprise. Past the screams, the curses and cries. Beyond the terror of the night falling on him without Doyoung by his side. He was already halfway there, he just had to let go.

“So, I’ll let you know as soon as I know something,” Doyoung voice sounded tight in his throat as he was standing out of the door. His things packed up in his car, parked in their driveway. It hurt to leave. Because, yes, that was what he wanted but he and Jaehyun had shared so much that actually letting him go wasn’t easy. They had been friends before being lovers. They had been best friends before being boyfriends. They had each other’s back every day before being husbands. Jaehyun was his partner in crime. His other half. The support he knew he could always count on. Jaehyun had been such an important part of his life and now, he wasn’t so sure of letting him behind. But he couldn’t stay, not because of a wave of melancholy or out of pity and habit. No matter how much he deeply cared for Jaehyun, his side wasn’t his place anymore and he couldn’t force himself there.

“Yeah, okay.” Jaehyun simply answered, his hand resting on the door to keep it open. “Drive safely,” He said, with a smile on his face. ‘And let me know when you arrive safe and sound’ he wanted to add, but that simply wasn’t his place anymore. Doyoung would’ve never sent him texts like that again, to let him know that he made it at work, or to the pub when he would go out with his friends on Saturdays. No more texts letting him know he had eaten the food he had cooked for him and it was delicious. No more calls at 3 p.m. because Doyoung didn’t want to deal with clients at work, also distracting Jaehyun from his job. And especially no more kisses at the door, the rushed ones because one of them had to go to work while the other worked from home. Or the rushed one in the car when Jaehyun used to drop him off before driving to his office. And his smile turned bitter when he realised that one of those had been their last and he had no idea. If he only knew, maybe he would’ve kissed him longer and held him tighter, screw it arriving late at work.

“See you, then,” Doyoung said scratching his head, bringing him back to earth, an awkward smile on his face.

Jaehyun held back the urge to launch forward and kiss him because Doyoung looked so beautiful. From the way his sweet eyes shined, so kind yet so captivating, to his perfect cheekbones and the way his hair would fall on his forehead perfectly. And also because he was afraid he would forget way too soon how his lips tasted.

“Yeah, see you,” He whispered instead, pushing down the lump in his throat. The realization that probably the next time he would’ve seen him would’ve been in a court hit him harder than expected. No more of seeing his eyes close to his, or feel his breath on his skin. No more getting lost in his kisses. No more tracing path on his tender skin with his fingers.

Now that Doyoung’s back was facing him he realized that he would’ve never seen it again when he would lay on their bed, and Doyoung would spend minutes facing the closet to pick what to wear after the shower. Or in the morning at the countertop while he would sleepily cook breakfast for both of them. Jaehyun would’ve never let his face sink into his shoulder and let the scent of his hair lull him.

Another sad smile crept on his face as he closed the door and let his body rest on it.

Jaehyun would’ve loved him for a lifetime. But he had to leave it all behind. All of the pain. And all of the happiness.

He had to leave it all behind.

༄

“A divorce?” Johnny asked with his eyes wide open, he didn’t want to sound so shocked but that wasn’t what he expected when his best friend called him to go over to his place for their usual Tuesday night together.

“Yeah, there’s nothing we can do anymore, John.” The younger man whispered as he swirled the whiskey in his glass. A bitter smile on his face.

“And he’s okay with it?” The other asked, moving uncomfortably in his seat. No, it wasn’t his life, but he had seen them getting together back when they all went to college, he had been Jaehyun’s best man at their wedding, he had helped them move in, and now, this. He always thought they were one of the strongest couples in their circle of friends, that was the last thing he expected to come from them.

“I mean, he asked me this.” If there was someone not okay with all of this was Jaehyun, not Doyoung. But what else was he supposed to do? Stump his feet on the ground, scream and cry, and make Doyoung stay out of pity? He had thought about it when alcohol drowned his blood and he attempted to call him in the middle of the night. But he gave up, and instead, he dragged his body on their bedroom, letting his acid tears wet the pillow were Doyoung used to lay his head. What was left of his scent, lulling him to sleep.

Johnny’s eyes widened even more. He wanted to ask so many questions, but he kept quiet. He was more than sure that Jaehyun didn’t want to talk. Not about that at least.

“Do you want to stay here for a while?” Johnny asked, pushing his hair back with a hand, and leaning closer to his friend with his upper body, trying to get a better view of him.

Jaehyun thought about it for a while, was that going to change something? He was supposed to go back to what used to be their place anyway, sooner or later. He sighed, pushed down in one go the liquid in the glass and then answered. “No, thanks. I’ll be fine.”

But Jaehyun wasn’t fine at all.

And right there where they used to share their everything, Jaehyun wondered when it all went wrong. When did they start to walk on a thin line? Step after step balancing on a tightrope. When did they fall down? Why he couldn’t see the sign? If Doyoung ever gave him a warning sign. And maybe he did, maybe Doyoung was screaming for help, begging to be heard. And Jaehyun didn’t get it, too busy trying to paint their canvas gold instead of repairing the damages. But Jaehyun didn’t have superpowers, he couldn’t read his mind, no matter how hard he tried or wanted.

Probably he should’ve seen it. When his enthusiasm in holding conversations at dinner faded, and he would move the food from side to side of the plate. He should’ve got that something was wrong when his smiles turned into smirks most of the times. He should’ve seen it when Doyoung would shrink away in the bed, giving him his back and not wanting to be hugged.

Jaehyun could’ve noticed so many things, and dwell in regret, but what was the point now? He couldn’t turn things around or go back in time. But he wondered if Doyoung had secretly given them second, third and hundred changes. And if he did, he was mad at him for not speaking up. For keeping everything under the rug, trying to put the pieces back up by himself. Because Jaehyun would’ve done anything to not shipwreck and save their relationship. Maybe nothing would’ve changed anyway, but at least he would’ve given it a try, and that would’ve made it easier for him to sleep at night without being haunted by regret.

Another thought that haunted him was when did Doyoung start to mentally already be out of the door? When was the last sincere ‘I love you’ that rolled out of Doyoung’s lips? He thought of their last kiss, shared that morning before Doyoung left for work, and suddenly the taste on his lips turned bittersweet. There was no love in it, and in so many other things they did in the last, he didn’t know how many, months.

That hurt him the most. Knowing that there was no love left for him, anymore.

But he hated the most how his brain would constantly bring him back to him. A constant reminder that he wasn’t there. Day and night, on and on.

Jaehyun couldn’t find a way to put a closure to them.

Not even when the closure arrived legally.

Jaehyun’s heart ached when he saw Doyoung standing at the other side of the room. His fit body wrapped in one of his usual suit and tie attire, with his shiny shoes at the feet. His black hair pulled back, showing perfectly his painfully handsome forehead and face. He looked unreal, as always since he met him. And from the outside, it looked like a perfectly usual day, with Doyoung dressed like that ready to go to work and come home. But it wasn’t like this. Because now, the one left on the outside was Jaehyun, looking inside at the film reel that was showing a story that wasn’t there anymore.

It had been three months since he had seen him last when they started the practice for the divorce. And now they needed to seal the deal and put a serious end to it all. It felt strange, a few minutes and they weren’t going to be married anymore even for the law. Memories of their wedding flashed before his eyes, it was crazy how a sign could tie somebody ‘forever’ and another one could tear them apart.

“So, it’s done.” Jaehyun shrugged with his hands in his pocket as soon as they were outside the court. They were standing next to each other, for no particular reason. They weren’t tied anymore, their red string of fate broken, yet, they couldn’t move away from each other. It strangely felt nice, though. Probably because they were both staring at the crowded street in front of them, full of moms carrying their babies in the strollers, people walking their dogs, others running to work. They could somehow get lost inside other’s people lives and don’t focus on theirs who had just changed forever.

“Yes, it’s done,” Doyoung answered, his eyes looking at the ground for a brief second. He didn’t feel the heavy weight lift from his heart when he signed the papers and he wondered why. Was it because there was no bad blood between them and it was harder to let go? Or maybe because he feared he would’ve lost Jaehyun forever. But could he ask him to stay friends after everything they had? How selfish would have that been?

“Well, what people usually say after this?” Jaehyun asked giggling, turning to the side to face him. His ears tinted with a shy shade of red.

“I have no idea,” Doyoung let out a small laugh. “I guess people usually tell the other to fuck off forever, but I think that’s not the case, right?” He asked, fearing that in reality that was the case. In the end, he kind of deserved it after all the hurting he had cause to Jaehyun without being even able to give him a reason.

“Nope, definitely not us.” The youngest answered with a small smile on his face, and his dimple appeared shyly for a fragment. Doyoung would’ve missed it. He knew he would’ve missed a lot of things about Jaehyun that had made his day for the last seven years. That wasn’t his home anymore, but it had been, and he could never regret it. But he also felt that something better was waiting for them in the future, they would’ve found their happy ending, ‘the one’, their place in the world.

When silent filled the air around them once again, Doyoung started to nervously move on the spot. That was really the end of their story and it felt surreal because he seriously had thought they were the lucky ones. And Doyoung always hated being proven wrong. Or maybe they were the ones. People always say that, right, the right person at the wrong time. Maybe if they had met each other now. Maybe if they hadn’t changed so much through the years. But what was the sense of filling a blank page of ‘What Ifs’ when the reality was different?

“I still have something to take from home, I forgot some things.” The oldest mumbled, trying to fix a strand of hair that was falling from the one who was still sticking together with the gel. No, he wasn’t so sure about it. But it was an excuse to come back again and properly say goodbye to what had been his home for the last years of his life, and see him again.

“You can pass anytime, you know my routine.” The brown-haired noted. ‘You were part of it until a few time ago’ He wanted to add, but didn’t. There was no need to remind him, Doyoung knew it.

“Great,” Doyoung exclaimed, clapping his hand together to cut it out. “I’ll text beforehand so I’ll be sure I won’t bother you.”

“Fine. See you!” Jaehyun answered as he watched him go again. “You won’t ever bother me.” He added in a whisper, just for himself.

And as he watched Doyoung’s disappear from his sight, his heart ached in his chest. It felt like he had been sent away from his homeland, his crown, with no chance of coming back. In exile, seeing him from the outside. Doyoung wasn’t his crown anymore. There was nothing more to defend, now. And he had to accept it.

༄

The Christmas lights were all over the city. From the decoration of the houses to the big illuminations in the streets. The first snow had already fallen on the city and the white snowflakes were still laying on top of every surface they found when they fell from the sky.

The cold was starting to get on Jaehyun’s nerve, his nose red and frozen, the heat given to his hands cupping his face not enough to warm him up.

“Johnny! Are you done?” He asked lightly jumping on the spot to at least try not to freeze his knees too and walk around like Pinocchio.

“I’m almost there. Just this small thing for Mark, he’s coming back from Canada.” His best friend screamed, still busy with his nose buried in one of those small open boutiques in the busy square where they held Christmas markets.

Jaehyun had no idea why Johnny always procrastinated in everything and mostly he had no idea why he would always follow him everywhere. Usually, he wouldn’t have minded much since Christmas was his favourite holiday. It meant staying with his loved ones, hot chocolate in the evening, the same old movies on the TV, making biscuits on Christmas Eve and wrapping up gifts. Usually, he wouldn’t even have minded staying in the frozen cold for hours just because Johnny needed to buy thousand of things last minute and getting his arms numb. Because that would’ve made his home feel cosier once he got back and after hanging his scarf and coat on the clothing hanger he would’ve collapsed in Doyoung’s arms who were waiting for him open as he laid on the couch. And they would’ve laughed about something stupid Johnny had done or said. Just to drink hot tea side by side with their silly matching pyjamas, the ones Jaehyun insisted so much to buy. But his home had gotten pretty cold that winter. He couldn’t feel the Christmas spirit all around him. He didn’t even put up decorations. What was the point anyway if his hands wouldn’t have met Doyoung’s while putting up the lights, or he couldn’t hear Doyoung screaming against the garland who had no intention to stay on the wall. And what was the need of the Christmas tree if the only gift he wanted that year was something he could never have back?

“You’re zoning out again, Jae.” Johnny’s voice brought him back to reality, a sigh left his lips forming a white cloud in front of his face.

“Sorry.” He mumbled looking down at all the bags Johnny was carrying with him. “All of these gifts and for who?”

“You, Ten, Mark, Yuta, my parents, the lil’ girl of our neighbour, oh and the old lady that lives on the other side of the road, she always brings me and Ten biscuits and home-made blankets, she’s so sweet. Some of my co-workers, and other people that you don’t know. Oh also Do–” Johnny stopped immediately when he realized the name that was about to roll out of his lips.

Jaehyun rolled his eyes at the sky. “You can say his name in front of me, John. I’m not going to die if you talk about him.” He said. “Also hand me some of these. You look like Santa Claus.” He joked grabbing some of the bags the older was holding.

“Well, I don’t want to say something out of place,” Johnny told him as soon as they started to walk towards Johnny’s car.

“You were friends with him before me, so I don’t see where there’s a problem.” Jaehyun reminded him.

“The problem is in the way you stopped seeing the light of the sun unless I drag you out of the house, Mister Jung,” Johnny remarked, side-eyeing him.

Jaehyun scoffed. “I’m fine, Johnny.”

“Lie to your face in the mirror, not me. I know you since we were in diapers, Yoonoh.” The man said, stopping in his tracks, to give him a bad look.

“Fine,” He gave up, raising his hands in the air. “And what should I do about it?”

“Don’t know, maybe get out? Drag your fine ass somewhere and get some dick like you used to do.”

“Johnny! For fuck sake, shut up!” He screamed, his face turning completely red from embarrassment. Why did he have to be like that?

“I didn’t lie.” He raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t intend to do it.” Jaehyun asserted.

“Why not? You’re just twenty-seven. Don’t act like your life his over.” Johnny whined almost as if he would gain something from him starting to do it. And maybe he would. He wouldn’t have to listen to him whine and cry about 'the wasted years of his life’ like he used to call him. He would’ve got the funny positive Jaehyun back. But it felt like a dream.

“I don’t have the age to go clubbing and come back at two, John.” He rolled his eyes again. “And hook up with random people?” He squealed, just the mere thought disgusting him.

“Don’t act like you couldn’t get any.”

“That’s not the point! I’m not looking for a random adventure.” He explained. He rarely did that when he was in high school, imagine now.

“You really have a thing for commitment, ugh?” Johnny asked tilting his head. They had arrived at the car and Johnny opened the trunk to put the bags inside.

Jaehyun didn’t answer, he simply gave him side eyes and helped with his stuff.

Once the engine was on and they started to make their way in the city traffic, Johnny brought up the conversation again. “Listen, let me be serious.”

“Finally, thank God,” Jaehyun exclaimed, letting his head fall against the seat.

“Hey!” Johnny screamed, hitting his arm playfully. “Anyway, I’m not telling you to go back in the game, yet. I can’t even imagine how hard it is for you, but you can still have some fun, you know?”

Jaehyun’s face contorted in disgust another time. “And how? Downloading some app so I’ll be opening the door to a creepy man who’s real plan is to kill me? Or go to the club and take a woman home and boom, since God’s not by my side she’ll end up pregnant someway?”

“Why do you always have to see the bad picture, you weren’t like this!” Johnny exhaled through his nose, his hands tighten on the wheel out of frustration.

“Exactly, and look at where it led me being all positive and shit.” He burst out moving his hands frenetically.

Another sigh left Johnny’s mouth. The situation was more tragic than what he expected. He knew that it wouldn’t have been all sunshine and rainbows but he couldn’t see his best friend like this. He decided to drop the conversation, though. He had to come up with a great idea Jaehyun couldn’t refuse instead of making him go crazy. So the rest of the drive went on smoothly, with music playing in the background and the two of them talking about this and that.

“Thanks for the ride home,” Jaehyun said once Johnny entered his driveway, one hand on the car door handle ready to go out.

“Thank you for coming and pull up with my shits. I swear that your Christmas gift is going to make it up for all of this.” Johnny said, a bright smile painted on his face.

Jaehyun smiled with his eyes, something Johnny had stopped witnessing so often. “Nah, you know I like spending time with you like this. It reminds me of when we were younger.”

“Wait!” Johnny screamed rolling down the window. “Why don’t you come to our party on the 22nd? Ten told me that one of his friends from the dance academy course in French is coming over, if I don’t remember wrong he’s also your age.”

Jaehyun wanted to roll his eyes again, Johnny really wasn’t throwing the towel. But instead, he thought for a while and then agreed. What could go wrong?

Everything, actually.

It wasn’t even Jaehyun’s fault. He went there with the best intentions, even quite convinced of letting himself go for one night and, why not, give a shot to Ten’s friend. He deserved a sparkle of happiness, right? Wallowing in his misery wasn’t leading to anywhere good.

And now Jaehyun was standing in his friends’ hall, leaning against the white wall with a glass of champagne in hand looking around the room. One hour had passed since he had arrived and Ten’s friend was nowhere to be seen. And in all of that, Johnny had forgotten to say that they had also invited Doyoung to the party. Worst of it all it was that Doyoung had brought along somebody else.

Jaehyun wanted to leave. Run at home and cry in his bed till he passed out. But at the same time, he didn’t want to seem weak in front of his friends and his ex-husband. He knew that leaving would’ve made him the centre of their conversations with Johnny sighing and saying how bad he was affronting the situation. And as much as he liked his friends caring for him he also hated to be pitied, especially in front of the cause of his pain.

Tired of acting like a pillar for the wall he started to wander around the room. He had no idea since when Johnny and Ten started to have so many friends to call over, and why they enjoyed so much throwing parties. Probably it was all Ten’s fault, and the way he couldn’t leave his job as an event planner out of the house. It was good, though. Ten’s taste was great and similar to Jaehyun’s, delicate colours schemes and pretty decoration. And Johnny was good at cooking, making delicious finger foods laying on the table that they moved in the middle of the living room. Their house was also big enough to let people breathe and don’t crash against each other. But he used to enjoy this party way more the years that had passed. There were fewer people and he almost knew every single one of them. Now the place was full of unknown faces and the ones he knew were hurting him.

Thank God the kitchen was empty and he knew that Johnny let the pass inside only to few people, luckily he was one of them. He could breathe again and get ready to go back outside and face all the other happy faces. Maybe start talking with someone about everything and anything. He wasn’t so sure he wanted to hear about anyone’s happy families and their successful marriage, but he guessed it was still better than nothing.

One thing he wasn’t expecting on the way out was coming face to face with Doyoung. His breath got caught in his throat as he took a small step back, the distance between them increasing. That was the last thing he wanted to happen. Seeing him from distance was already bad enough but having to face him, oh hell no.

He had no idea if it was because it had been six months since had seen him last, but Doyoung looked even more breathtaking than the usual. His black hair was falling into places so perfectly on his face. He was wearing one of his favourite black turtleneck, a silver necklace that he couldn’t recognize, and black jeans. But then Jaehyun’s eyes fell on Doyoung’s hand just to see a ring that wasn’t theirs, and his heart skipped a beat.

“Hey.” Before he could focus more on it, Doyoung’s voice brought his attention back on him.

“H–hey,” He stuttered, suddenly feeling trapped. Doyoung had no intention to start a conversation with him, right? He wouldn’t have been so cruel, right?

“How’s it going? It’s been quite some time since we’ve seen each other.” Okay, Doyoung had chosen cruelty that day. And Jaehyun decided to be a fool and answer him. He should’ve made up a random excuse and leave. Say that he forgot something on the stoves. Or that he needed to turn down the heater he had forgotten on. But he decided to stay, and lie.

“Good. I’m doing great. What about you?” His same old fake smile that he would plaster in a situation like this popped on his face, but now Doyoung was too busy to notice it, too caught up in something else, or better, someone else, to decipher the messages behind Jaehyun unspoken words.

“That’s amazing. Johnny had told me you were a bit down?” Doyoung asked, worry written all over his face. And it would’ve warmed Jaehyun’s heart if he could only have the confirmation that it was real and not put there just because he had to.

“Oh no, I’ve been extremely busy with work lately and I also started to do graphic commission by myself, outside of the agency that’s why,” Jaehyun said smiling. Reminding himself to kill Johnny the first time he had the opportunity.

“Oh, wow. Want to go independent?” Doyoung asked and he sounded genuinely interested in it.

“Don’t know. Just wanted to try something else.” He smiled, the reality was that he was trying to fill his days with more work so he couldn’t think about anything else. Or to be more precise, he had no time to think about Doyoung. Staying up all night for him was already enough. Working on graphics of any kind meant to do hours of research, build a plan, make drafts and then put everything into work. He couldn’t let himself get lost into other things that hurt him more.

Doyoung nodded, pressing his lips in a thin line.

“You?” Jaehyun asked again, knowing damn well he would’ve hated the answer. Because Doyoung had nothing to lie about. He was happy without him.

“Mh, quite good. Same shit at work, I guess.” Doyoung laughed it off, leaving out the part of his love life and how happy he was. There was no need to be so cruel and shove in his face that he had found somebody else after nine months without him.

Jaehyun held back a laugh, he knew he was avoiding that topic because Doyoung was more than happy. He could see it in his relaxed face and in the way he was laughing happily when Jaehyun caught sight of him at the start of the night, with his arms around the other boy’s waist. There was no need to give him fake niceties when he knew damn well that Jaehyun had him written in the palm of his hands and could read him like the words of his favourite song. And he could see that Doyoung was shining, sparkling like a comet in the sky, who passed in his sky for a brief second and then moved on, destined to glow forever for somebody else.

“You’re here! I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” A voice exclaimed all of sudden from behind Jaehyun. He didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.

“Yeah, I was catching up with –” Doyoung stopped in his track, not knowing what to say. Taeyong knew he was divorced but he never talked much about it and he also never seen a picture of him, there was no way he could recognize him, also he didn’t want to use the term ex-husband for some reason in front of Jaehyun.

“I’m Jaehyun.” The youngest said handing his hand to the man who came by Doyoung side, deciding to skip the awkward part of letting him know who he was in his past life.

The man smiled and shook his hand. “I’m Taeyong, nice to meet you.” Then he turned to Doyoung. “Johnny needs you upstairs for something, by the way.”

“Oh, right now?” He asked, his eyes moving fast between the two other men. Taeyong nodded and grabbed a glass of champagne from the stand by their side. “Coming with me?”

“No, he just wanted you.”

Doyoung stopped in his tracks and glanced back at Jaehyun worried.

Jaehyun smiled and though that Doyoung hadn’t met the new him, yet.

“Go, you know Johnny doesn’t like to wait. We’ll survive without you.” He joked, trying to assure Doyoung that there was no problem if he let them alone.

A small chuckle left Taeyong lips at his words and after a second of hesitation, Doyoung disappeared in the crowds of other people.

“You’re Johnny’s friend?” The blonde-haired man asked, turning around to look at him.

“Yeah, we’ve grown up together.” He said, taking a big gulp from his glass of champagne. He knew he needed it to survive. “You?” He added, trying to get the answer Doyoung was avoiding to give him.

“Oh, I’ve worked with Ten at an event and we quickly became friends.” He said smiling and Jaehyun frowned. Both because things weren’t adding up, he and Doyoung were way too close to not know each other, and also because he was incredibly handsome and the most immature part of him hated him. If he wanted, Taeyong could’ve stolen anyone’s man from their hands, there was no wonder Doyoung fell for him.

“And well, I’m also Doyoung’s boyfriend. You know, one thing leads to another and here we are.” He added, tilting his head to the side with a small smile on his face.

Jaehyun’s heart clung in his chest. He nodded, smiling bitterly and letting his eyes look down at his feet for a moment. Just enough for him to hide the pain at Taeyong’s eyes. 'Doyoung’s boyfriend’, and it wasn’t him.

“Are you dating someone?” The man asked, and in the sincerity of his voice, Jaehyun got that he had no idea who he was talking to. But he liked it that way. He hated fake niceties and pity. He was tired of the same mortified faces he got every time he talked with someone about his divorce, and he didn’t want them from his ex-husband’s boyfriend.

“No, and I really don’t plan too.” He said sarcastically.

Taeyong’s smile dropped, not getting where he was coming from.

“Coming out of a bad break-up after years together.” He answered his silent question, his lips pressing together in a tight smile that made both of his dimples pop out. And he could already see Taeyong’s sorry face.

“Don’t,” He warned, “I’m fine. Don’t say you’re sorry for something you didn’t do.”

Taeyong simply nodded and then stared at the ground.

“Tell me about you and Dodo, instead.”

And Taeyong face lit up again. His eyes sparkling as he started talking about this and that, and Jaehyun simply listened. How painful it was to hear somebody else talk about Doyoung like he was used to. And how hard it was to pretend he didn’t know anything so intimate about it, like the bad habit he had of leaving the wet towel on the sofa, or the spoon in the pan, or how soft he looked first thing in the morning with his sleepy gummy smile.

“You seem like an amazing couple,” Jaehyun affirmed genuinely once Taeyong finished.

Taeyong blushed. “Thanks, I’m really lucky to have him by my side.”

“Yes, you are,” Jaehyun said. “And he’s lucky to have you.” He added, swallowing the pain in his throat. Though, he wasn’t lying. Jaehyun was glad to know him in good hands, and Taeyong seemed a really good person.

Jaehyun knew that there would’ve been happiness after him. That was what Doyoung was looking for. The happiness Jaehyun wasn’t able to give him anymore. But he also knew that there had been happiness because of him, and they couldn’t delete all of that. He believed in that.

“Tell him I said hi.” He mumbled waving at the blond when he saw the black-haired coming down the stairs and started to walk away before he could hear his answer.

“Oh, sorry!” Somebody mumbled after crashing against him. His glass almost dropping from his hands.

“No, don’t worry, it’s fine.” He answered, trying to regain his composure. He didn’t even look at them and started to walk away, but a hand blocked him by the wrist. He sighed, not really in the mood to start a conversation with someone. He wanted to leave. His social battery had run low.

“Sorry, didn’t want to be rude. Are you Jaehyun?” The voice asked, and finally, he turned around. His eyes meeting a man around his age, with phoenix brown eyes, and chocolate brown hair falling on his forehead.

“Why?” Jaehyun snapped out of his momentary trance.

“I’m Ten’s friend.” He sputtered, embarrassment filling his voice. “Oh, he didn’t say anything. Forget I said anything.” He said, red in the face, realizing that the man in front of him had no idea of who he was, and turned around.

“No, wait!” Jaehyun yelled, stopping him just like he did with him before. “I’m Jaehyun. I knew one of his friend my age was coming over, just had no idea it was you.”

The men smiled after emitting a sigh of relief. “Typical of Ten.” He laughed, rolling his eyes. “I’m Sicheng.” He added, giving him his hand.

“Johnny’s not going to talk to me for a week when he realizes that I sneaked out of his party to go drink a beer in a bar with a stranger.” Jaehyun laughed after taking a sip from the pint.

Sicheng laughed and mirrored his action of putting the pint down on the small table in front of them. “I think he’s going to be more than okay with it, to be honest.” He teased, smirking and tilting his head to the side.

Jaehyun sighed and slumped his head against the palm of his head. “Damn, the situation is way more tragic than I was expecting if he told you about this setup.”

Another giggle slipped out of the man, who he later found out to be Chinese, lips.

“Actually,” he stated, “this was a set up also for me.” He admitted, face flushed in red.

“Really?”

Sicheng nodded, taking another gulp from the glass. He wasn’t sure about telling him his story, or why he was there, trying to find a new and better life, but at the same time, he didn’t want to keep many secrets to him. Nothing good starts with thousands of skeleton in the closet.

“What are you looking for, here?” Jaehyun asked, propping his chin with his elbow on the table.

Sicheng exhaled and let his back rest against the bench. “Happiness, I guess.” When Jaehyun expression changed and suddenly the mood became sadder he added, “Was that too deep?”

Jaehyun shook his head immediately and straightened his posture. “No. I’m looking for the same thing.”

The Chinese man took a breath of relief, a small smile appearing on his face. “I just want to breathe, you know? I tough that close to my thirties big surprises in my life would be over but destiny loves to prove you wrong.”

Jaehyun had no idea what he was talking about, but he could exactly get his point of view. Being almost thirty doesn’t mean that you’re old, or that your life is over, but starting from zero when you weren’t expecting certain things to happen wasn’t easy.

“So you opted for the ‘New country, new me’” He tried to ironize, adding quotation marks with his hands in the air.

“I guess,” Sicheng shrugged. “I needed to breathe fresh air and give my life a drastic change that would motivate me to move forward.”

“A break-up?” The other asked, raising his eyebrow, trying to guess what he was running away from.

Sicheng stilled for a second and mumbled: “Yes, just that.” And then added an embarrassed laugh. Jaehyun nodded, not totally convinced, but who was he to expect him to open up to him? They were strangers who were happening to be talking to each other.

“And you?” Sicheng asked, trying to change the topic from him and his life.

“Ugh,” he chuckled, “I just divorced after seven years, pretty much out of nowhere because everything seemed perfect for me but apparently it wasn’t.” He said, with a forced smile on his face, looking straight at Sicheng’s eyes.

Sicheng’s mouth hung open as he tried to find the words to say. “That sucks,” he let out before he could realize he had said it out loud. “No shit I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. Dammit, that’s why I fuck everything up.” He started to mumble out covering his mouth every two words and looking everywhere but Jaehyun.

But instead of getting mad, a loud deep laugh resonated from Jaehyun’s chest. “Is this drunk you or are you normally like this?”

“I – I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that.”

“You didn’t offend me. It was the best reaction I received after I delivered the big news. It’s not a lie, it sucks.” He smiled, trying to reassure him. “Plus, I like that you’re honest.” He smirked.

“Was that an attempt to flirt?” Sicheng asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I hope I can do better than this while flirting.”

The night went on quite smoothly, Sicheng was nice and they matched unexpectedly well together. Yet, something was stopping Jaehyun from loosing up completely. They could’ve easily gone home together and have a one night stand, just to have some fun, but something about the mere thought of it felt so wrong.

“So, it was great.” He whispered, his head low and his feet moving nervously. The cold was getting in their bones, out of the pub, bidding their goodbyes.

“Yes, it was. We could exchange numbers.” Sicheng proposed, smiling warmly at him.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Jaehyun mumbled, taken aback, not expecting that to happen.

“Listen, I want to be honest with you,” Jaehyun said, putting his phone back in his pocket once they exchanged numbers. He waited for the other to nod and then went on. “I’m not looking for something romantic and serious right now.”

Sicheng smiled, a little bit bitterly and hung his head low. He had to expect it but he was still kind of sad about it. “Yeah, can imagine. It’s okay, I need friends anyway.”

“Yeah, me too. We can hang out more often.” He smiled.

“Sure, would love to.” Sicheng said, but there was a little problem, a small secret he had kept to himself for the whole night. Sicheng wasn’t so free of going out when he wanted to.

༄

Once at home, Jaehyun launched himself in his bed and let the sheets cover him completely. He wasn’t sad, he was frustrated. He hated how he couldn’t move on. Still stuck on the white pages of a book nobody would’ve kept on writing.

Why was it so hard for him to get over Doyoung? And why Doyoung already forgot him? Was he so easy to be replaced?

He got up, throwing the sheets to the side and made his way to the kitchen. Some water would’ve helped, and also made him avoid a hangover the morning after.

But the haunting thoughts had no intention to drown themselves.

Usually, divorces were never painful, it was something both people wanted, and in the cases where somebody wasn’t okay with it, there were economical issues or children in between. But there wasn’t the case.

Jaehyun couldn’t make the pain go away, in any way. He couldn’t make it go away by painting Doyoung as a villain, simply because he wasn’t. Doyoung had never done anything wrong in their seven years together. He made him live in paradise, and maybe that was the price he had to pay for all of the happiness. He should’ve reminded himself that the high was worth the pain, but he couldn’t.

And now that the cold of the night was creeping in his bones he couldn’t help but think that Doyoung’s body wasn’t next to his to keep him warm. Doyoung’s hand weren’t running on his naked skin, his lips weren’t leaving red marks on his abdomen, and they wouldn’t have become one in the night. Doyoung right now was in another bed, becoming a mess in other sheets that weren’t his. That night, and all the others from then on, the one to lay his head on Doyoung’s chest once they were done would’ve been Taeyong and not him. Doyoung’s heartbeat wasn’t his lullaby anymore.

While he would lay there, for another night that seemed endless, sleepless, trying to bid him goodbye. Trying to close his eyes and dream of a place far away from there, and be able to say his long goodbye at least in his dreams. But instead, when his brain would give up in the arms of Morpheus, Jaehyun would see it all, vivid in front of his eyes. Doyoung’s face, lighting up in the morning. His skin against his. His voice telling him how much he loved him and how he would spend the rest of his life by his side. And it felt so real, that Jaehyun couldn’t help but wake up with tears streaming down his face when Doyoung’s phantom disappeared right in front of him.

And he wished he knew how to deal with all of that. But nobody teaches you how to face a break-up like this.

No one tells you what to do when the person that swore to be by your side in joy and pain, in health and sickness, turns their back to you. Nobody tells you what to do when a good man hurts you, and involuntary, you hurt him too.

And when Jaehyun didn’t know what to do, feeling lost and unmoored, he made a mistake that would’ve changed his life forever.

12 notes · View notes

theotherackerman · 3 years ago

Text

My Mind Turns Your Life Into Folklore

NOTES:

Flashback: Mikasa, age 21 Current time: Wednesday January 20th

chapter twenty-three: the story of us

One year ago, Mikasa did not handle her upcoming father’s birthday very well.

She had gotten drunk.

More drunk than she had ever been.

The room was spinning, couldn’t feel anything sort of drunk.

If it worked for Eren, it could work for her.

She didn’t want to feel.

She didn’t want to think.

Every change of the minute brought her father’s birthday closer.

She had tried to call Eren but Ymir had snatched her phone away.

So Mikasa didn’t call Eren.

Instead, she wandered off into the backyard where Levi found her.

She sat down in the snow, not really feeling the cold.

“I know. You’re hurting. You have been, whether you want to admit it or not. You’re having issues because you’re not allowing the pain you feel to be felt. You’ve been through a lot, Mikasa. Give yourself a break,” Levi said as he offered his hand out to Mikasa.

After a moment, Mikasa took Levi’s hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet.

Ymir came out of the house moments later and helped lead Mikasa back into the house.

“She okay?” Ymir asked.

“No, but she will be,” Levi replied.

---------------

Eren woke up with his limbs tangled with Mikasa’s. He was unsure how he was going back to not sleeping with her every night. He loved waking up to her in the morning. She was sound asleep as he had woken up before his alarm had gone off. He watched her peacefully sleeping in his arms. He was still so in love with her.

His alarm went off. He swiped it away.

Mikasa mumbled something under his breath that he couldn’t make out before she was nuzzling into his chest, trying to go back to sleep.

“I’m going to shower,” he told her as he began to move.

There was some sort of noise of protest as she held onto him.

“Unless you want to join me,” he whispered into her ear.

She gave him a gentle shove.

“That’s what I thought,” he laughed as he stood up.

It was a strange little morning routine that they had already fallen into. He took his pills and then made his way towards the bathroom.

Eren noticed after he had returned to the bedroom after his shower that something was off about Mikasa. He remembered the whole reason he was here was because of her dad’s birthday looming ever so close.

She was always off on that day.

On her mom’s birthday, it was even worse.

No matter how happy of a day they all tried to make it, Mikasa still had the same feelings.

Eren didn’t blame her, couldn’t blame her. He knew how his mom’s death had affected him. He knew her birthday was also looming closer every day. With the towel still wrapped around his waist, he sat down on her bed.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked as he reached out and touched her face.

Mikasa nodded.

“You’re still a shitty liar,” he told her.

“I know,” she muttered as she looked down.

His thumb caressed her cheek. “We’ll make it through today and tomorrow...then we’ll go from there. One day at time, right?”

Mikasa nodded again, still not looking up at him.

Eren leaned in and briefly pressed his lips to hers. A gesture that he was still there, he still loved her, and that he wanted her.

If Eren was being completely honest, he had never wanted anyone else and he wouldn’t ever want anyone else. He had resigned himself to a life free of any romance after he had left her.

She kissed him back right before he pulled away.

He had left her.

She had gone through this without him last year.

And he had known it would be bad.

It was bad every year.

What kind of fucked up person would do that?

Eren wasn’t fully aware of the fact that he had grabbed Mikasa and pulled her into a hug until she was squeezing him back.

So he just held her.

After a moment, Mikasa finally spoke.

“Thank you,” she said.

“Always here for you,” he muttered as he rested his head on top of hers.

“Did you use my shampoo?” she asked.

“Yeah…..”

“You smell good though. It’s fine. Your hair is so much longer now.”

“Is that bad?”

“No, I like it. Is this scar new?” she asked as she traced a mark on his chest.

Eren nodded.

“Car accident?” she asked.

“Probably. There’s a small one on my neck too,” he said before he took her hand, he used her hand to trace the small scar on his neck. “That was from glass. I was unconscious when they took it out.”

“Luck you. I got to feel your dad pull the glass out of my face,” she muttered as she traced the scar on his neck.

“I’m sure he was at least trying to be gentle. The doctors were pretty mad at me for drinking and driving.”

“Good,” Mikasa said before she pulled out of his embrace.

“Hey! Well, you’re right. I kind of deserved it back then.”

“I’m going to go take a shower,” she said as she stood up.

“I mean you could have joined me…”

Mikasa tackled him, causing him to fall backwards onto the bed. He tried to wrestle out of her grip but even with him working out, she was still stronger. He also became very aware of the fact that he was still just wearing a towel. Mikasa quickly pinned both of Eren’s hands above his head.

Eren’s eyes met hers again.

“I’m going to take a page out of Niccolo’s book and say this is pretty much the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” he told her.

“Thought you were stronger now,” she replied simply. No blush flooded her cheeks like Eren had hoped for.

“I just let you win.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes as she released his wrists.

“You really shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why?”

Eren’s only answer was to grab her and flip them so he was hovering over her. He could feel his towel slipping but it did stay in place. He knew another move like that and it would fall.

Mikasa biting her lip and refusing to look him in his eyes did not escape his notice. He stood up as he held onto his towel. He secured it as Mikasa got off of her bed.

“Told you I’ve gotten stronger,” he teased her.

“Yeah, yeah. So you’ve said. I’m going to go shower by myself.”

“Don’t sound so sad about it.”

Mikasa didn’t even bother to respond to him.

Eren waited until he heard Mikasa’s footsteps disappear before he sighed.

-----------------

Jean had no idea what to expect from Pieck. The woman was a constant surprise when it came to what she did.

So when she had shown up with takeout and wine, he had been surprised.

“Figured Connie would probably still be here so I decided to keep it PG tonight,” Pieck said as came into the apartment. “And I brought a bottle of whiskey for him.”

“Did I hear whiskey?” Connie asked as he came out of his room.

“You did. New brand. Thought the bottle was cool,” Pieck shrugged.

“Pieck, this is why you’re the coolest girl he’s ever brought home,” Connie said as he took the bottle from her.

“Does he bring many girls home?” Pieck smirked.

“Yes,” Jean said.

“No,” Connie replied at the same time.

Jean glared at Connie which just caused Pieck to laugh.

“He always seemed to get shot down at galas. So I think I’m going to believe Connie,” Pieck smirked.

“See? Coolest girl. Alright, I’m going to get hammered and then write this essay,” Connie said before moving the bottle in a small toast before going back to his room.

“Let me guess, you thought it would be something much more sexy that I was going to bring you for stress relief,” Pieck said before she sat the bag of food down on the table.

“Very domestic of you,” Jean smirked as he sat down at the tiny kitchen table.

“Shut up, don’t get used to it. I had a good shoot today so here I am. Plus this place has the best tacos around and it happens to be two blocks away from here.”

“Best tacos, huh? Just look like normal tacos to me."

Pieck rolled her eyes before she sat across from him. "You're the man who thought a twenty dollar wine was expensive. So maybe I don't trust your judgement when it comes to food."

"Well excuse me. I didn't have my mom take me to a winery."

"Maybe she should have."

Jean rolled his eyes before taking a bite of his taco. His eyes lit up.

"Told you. World's best tacos."

"Alright, fine. You win this one."

"I told you."

"...you got any more tacos?" Connie's voice called from down the hall.

"Yes, come get some," Pieck replied.

Their conversation slowed as they continued their meal. Pieck found herself liking being here in Jean and Connie's company. Besides the talk of exams and essays, Pieck would sometimes forget they weren't in the same age group as her.

And despite how much she tried to avoid it, Pieck really did like Jean. Once she got through that cocky, asshole persona he used, she found herself really enjoying her company.

But she wouldn't tell him or anybody else for that matter that.

They would all tease her about it.

This all should have been a red flag for her.

Evidence that she was getting in far too deep with Jean. Here she was bringing him food and alcohol because he had had an exam.

After dinner, Pieck found herself sitting on the couch with Jean watching some cheesy sci-fi movie he had found.

"Saturday there's this frat party Marco and I are going to. I'm not staying long," he said casually.

"Okay?" She asked as she raised an eyebrow.

Why would she care?

"So uh..if you wanted to like…"

"Spit out, Jean."

"I mean this is kind of becoming a routine thing and if you know you were expecting for us to…"

She reached up and grabbed his face. "You're cute when you're embarrassed," she teased him before she let go. "Go get drunk. Party. Whatever. I'm keeping my weekly date with Porco and Marcel anyway. But if it isn't past your bedtime, maybe I'll swing by."

"I won't be asleep," Jean said as he leaned back against the couch.

"Hmmm...will Connie be here?"

"Shouldn't be. He's got a thing with Ruth. He spent an hour on the phone with Sasha trying to pick out the perfect gift."

"What for?"

"I don't know. He likes to spoil his girlfriend and get them gifts for no reason. He's always been like that."

"Huh."

The talk of a relationship was making Pieck uncomfortable. Did Jean want that from her? She couldn't give that to him. It just wasn't something she was capable of. Maybe she should break this whole thing off.

"He's right though," Jean said after a moment.

"About what?" She was clearly confused.

"You are the coolest girl I've brought home."

Pieck held back a laugh, "I've never been cool in my life."

"But you are. I mean you have a studio, you're a working artist. You can play multiple instruments. There's no way you're not cool."

"I'm also unbelievably boring."

"I doubt that."

"I am. I go home, I have a glass of wine, I watch TV, and I go to bed."

"Better than what I do. Just study all the time."

"Oh please. Aren't you going to save the world or something?"

"Just because I'm a political science major doesn't mean I'm going to save the world."

"Hmmm...somehow I doubt that. You seem like the type."

"What type?"

"The type to do something stupid. I should go. It's getting late," she said as she stood up.

"Or you could always stay," Jean muttered.

She stopped and looked back at him. "Why do you want me to stay? You feeling alright?"

"Just a stressful day. That's all," he shrugged.

"Okay, well, I've got a shoot in the morning."

"Right. Yeah, I'll see you later."

Pieck nodded and left, closing the door behind her.

Jean groaned once she was gone.

"Dude, you're so screwed," Connie said from the other room.

"Tell me something I don't know," Jean muttered as he sat down on the couch.

"So Sasha and Niccolo aren't talking."

"Why's that?"

"Guess he flipped because we're still friends and exes. It's not like I didn't grow up next door to her."

"Weird. So is he out of the group?"

"Not yet. Ymir is waiting for the word to take him out though."

"I'll help her hide the body."

"Are you going to talk to Pieck about everything?"

"You know she's the first girl since Mikasa that I actually like to be around? I mean the other girls I've been with have been good for a fling but Pieck is…"

"Someone you want to wife up?"

"Yes! I mean no. I don't know. She's just different."

"Then you should tell her. I'm pretty sure she feels the same."

"I hope so."

--------------

Her friends were very good at getting Mikasa to not think about the fact that her dad’s birthday was the next day.

At least until it was time to sleep.

She tossed and turned. Eren held onto her, never complaining.

Eren pulled her close to him. She turned over so she was facing him.

“You’re okay,” he assured her, wrapping his other arm around her.

She didn’t feel okay. She felt like she was breaking all over again.

There was a knock on the door.

“Come in,” Eren said.

The door opened, Annie stepped in first. She was wrapped in her comforter.

“Scoot over,” the blonde said. Eren pulled himself and Mikasa over to the other side of the bed. Annie plopped down on the open space just as Armin was coming in with his own blanket. He climbed into the bed and sat down next to Eren.

“Armin?” Mikasa questioned. “When did you get here?”

“About twenty minutes ago. My classes are canceled tomorrow,” he explained.

“So we’re having a sleepover in your room tonight because fuck being alone. None of that shit here,” Ymir added as she came into the room with her own blanket. She turned Mikasa’s tv on with the remote. “No one kick me,” she warned as she lay horizontally across the end foot of the bed.

Historia came into the room next, dragging a blanket with her.

“Annie, let me use you as a pillow,” Historia remarked as she climbed into bed. She rested her head on Annie’s shoulder.

“Ymir, can I use you as a pillow?” Sasha asked as she climbed over Ymir so she was the opposite way with her feet towards Mikasa’s pillows.

“I don’t care. Just don’t poke me with your boney elbow,” Ymir said.

“Anyone squished?” Eren asked after a moment.

“I’m good. Toss me a pillow,” Ymir said as she held her hand out.

Eren reached back and grabbed a pillow. He tossed it to her and Ymir caught it.

“You know it’s a good thing you have a giant bed,” Ymir laughed as she put her head down on the pillow.

“Probably a good thing we don’t have more friends too,” Annie added as she rested her head on top of Mikasa’s.

Mikasa twisted so she could see the tv.

“Alright, so we will find the worst thing possible on tv,” Ymir informed them before turning up the volume.

“Give me that or we’re going to end up watching Hallmark movies forever!” Historia proclaimed.

“They’re horrible!”

“That’s the point but they are a form of torture I will not endure. Sasha, snatch the remote away.”

“Uh, no. Ymir is my pillow.”

Mikasa laughed a bit as her friends argued.

This was an improvement from last year.

#mmtylif #my writing

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lupinsx · 5 years ago

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Stay With Me

masterlist

Request: hi!! i really loved your first fic!!😙 i was wondering if you could write one where the reader is a slytherin, and she’s like pretty good friends with draco. she gets an owl one day with some bad news about her family (you can decide what lmao) and she acts like she’s ok at first but she leaves the great hall rly early while draco watches and he goes to help. you can choose how it ends hehe

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Slytherin!Reader

Summary: Y/N and Draco are the best of friends. When Y/N hears news that will change her life, it’s up to him to help save her from her grief.

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: Mentions of death (nothing graphic though).

a/n — Thank you for requesting! I hope I did justice to this prompt lol.

——————————

For a moment, everything was nice.

It was late in the evening, and the Slytherin common room would be deserted if it wasn’t for you and Draco occupying the space. He sat lazily on the mossy coloured couch while you sat next to him horizontally with your legs draped over his lap, your back leaned against the armrest. The closeness between you two was almost second nature, being too overdone for it to be given another thought.

It was comfortable, that’s all. Just normal behaviour between friends.

Or at least, that’s what you say to yourself.

“And that damn bludger almost knocked my head off near the end! It was a miracle I managed to duck on time,” Draco beamed, using hand gestures as he spoke to walk you through the events. Earlier that day, Slytherin won a Quidditch match against Ravenclaw, and Draco couldn’t be more ecstatic. You nodded your head in agreement as you kept your head low, focusing on the essay on your lap which needed to be completed.

With a boastful smile stretched across his face, he continued, “It was an amazing catch! The Ravenclaw seeker got close to the snitch, but I was clearly faster.”

It was silent for a moment as Draco waited for a response. You were too engrossed in the Transfiguration assignment in front of you that you almost forgot he was there, but a hand waved in front of your face brought you back to reality. Putting away the parchment with a sheepish grin, you turned your attention towards him.

“Sorry, I was finishing up my paragraph. But yes, you were amazing out there. I watched the whole thing, remember?”

His face reddened slightly at your praise, but you failed to notice under the dim candlelit lighting. Suddenly, a realization hit you; Christmas break would be approaching very soon. The mere thought warmed you like a nearby fire, and you found yourself getting giddy at the thought.

“Draco! Christmas break is in one more week. Can you believe it?” you asked, eyes wide in excitement like a child receiving candy. He nodded vaguely, unable to show much happiness at the matter.

You found immense joy at the idea of Christmas. While your half-blood and pureblood parents are comparable to a nasty old Grinch, your muggle grandmother makes the holidays entirely bearable. She frequently bakes with you, blasts old Christmas tunes whenever your parents are away, and puts on heartwarming films to enjoy together every night and morning.

These little traditions are practically the only reason you enjoy coming home. Your parents are strong upholders of the snotty rich family stereotype most Slytherins seem to bear, but having someone at your house who loves you for you and not your possible potential makes you extremely grateful.

Unfortunately, your best friend didn’t have that same luck. Draco’s parents are to a similar degree of cruelty as yours, but the lack of comforting adult figures at his house makes him loathe coming home for the break more so than you would.

It was only the prospect of seeing you after it what made him survive throughout the holiday season.

Frowning at his sudden quietness, you grabbed his hand and gave it a small squeeze. Your lips stretched into a comforting smile, not knowing what else to say to ease his mind.

He gave you a reassuring glance in response, and all was quiet for a moment. Merely the delicate crackle coming from the fireplace was heard as you unknowingly kept his hand in yours. After a minute’s time, you pulled your arm back and swung your legs off his lap.

“Come on, let’s go to bed,” you said, dragging him up by his arm. He chuckled at your slight manhandling of him as you picked up your essay and waved goodbye to him. You then headed to the girls dormitory, while he went the opposite way.

That night, memories of candy canes, gingerbread houses, and the Home Alone series occupied your thoughts, leaving you in a blissful dreamland for the remainder of the night.

~~~

The next morning, you found yourself being awoken by the loud shuffling of feet outside your door. Judging by the streams of light pouring through your drapes, you knew it was time to get up.

Your morning routine didn’t take longer than 15 minutes. Once you deemed yourself ready for the day, you headed to the common room, only to see Draco leaning boredly against the portrait hole. Upon seeing you, amusement flickered briefly in his eyes.

“Race you to the Great Hall,” he spoke quickly, breaking out into a sprint before you could even respond. With a small groan and a grin threatening to spread across your mouth, you ran after the platinum haired boy.

Typical Draco, you thought. When will I ever catch a break.

Although his long legs and early exit gave him a lengthy advantage, you managed to catch up to him considerably fast, and you two crashed into the Slytherin table at nearly same time. An airy chuckle escaped his lips as you panted heavily, taking a seat as well as a large gulp of water. The pair quickly received eyes on them for their abrupt entry, but all stares were disregarded upon the sight of food in front of you.

You licked your lips in delight and swiftly reached for the French toast, ignoring the loud entrance of owls delivering the morning mail. You almost didn’t notice one approach your table, and certainly not when it swooped next to your head, but a small tap on your shoulder redirected your attention to the letter laid in front of you.

Curiously enough, you weren’t even expecting any mail.

“Who’s it from?” asked Draco nonchalantly as he scarfed down his scrambled eggs. You shrugged your shoulders and picked up the letter, impatiently unwrapping it without paying mind to front cover.

Dear Y/N L/N,

I hope you’re currently studying for exams or completing your coursework. Remember, I expect nothing less than Outstandings in every class.

Of course. Typical of mom to start off a letter addressing grades. No ‘Hello my daughter’ or anything.

I’m sending this letter to tell you that your grandmother has passed away. It was inevitable, really. She was getting quite old. But the burial was last Wednesday, so that’s done and over with. Our annual Christmas and New Year’s parties will resume as normal, so don’t you worry. Anyways, resume your studying.

Yours Truly,

Mrs L/N

Grandma… is dead?

Your knuckles gripped tightly onto the paper, your eyes skimming through it again and again to confirm you read it accurately. Eventually, the tears developing prevented you from seeing it clearly, and you simply crumpled up the letter and shoved it in your robe’s pocket.

You were alone now. All alone.

It took a minute for you to digest the information. You sat silently, making no effort to pick up your fork or look up from your lap. You couldn’t believe she was really gone from your life. It seemed like it was almost yesterday when you two were belting out Jingle Bells while icing sugar cookies.

And now, she was gone, just like that.

Standing up from your spot, you looked up to the ceiling to quickly diminish the water in your eyes. Once relatively dried, you faced Draco, who stared up at you with concern lacing his features. He was no longer focused on the meal in front of him, nor the conversations going on around him.

Forcing a small smile on your face, you croaked, “I’m feeling a little full. Just going to get some fresh air.” Without letting him reply, you rushed out of the Great Hall. Your jaw was clenched to prevent you from sobbing immediately as you ran out the doors and towards the Black Lake.

Soon, you found the spot under a tree which you had always claimed to be your own. It had the perfect view of the lake in front, so you often came here to de-stress, study, or simply hang out with Draco. Today, however, it was used as your crying corner, away from the eyes of your peers and noise of people chatting nearby. It was secluded.

And perhaps, that level of isolation was exactly what you needed to break down.

So, you cried. And cried. You sobbed louder than a newborn baby, and produced more tears within a minute than you have done within a year. You were grieving for the only adult figure in your life you ever found solace in.

What felt like hours of misery turned out to be mere minutes, which was soon interrupted by a figure dropping down next to you and pulling you to their chest. Although the puffiness of your eyelids and tears pooling above it blocked your vision, the smell of cedar wood and vanilla made you well aware of Draco’s presence. He cradled your upper body as you cried into his chest, gripping onto his shirt in tight fists.

“Draco, s-she — my grandma, she’s g-gone,” you hiccuped between your words. He didn’t respond, simply brushing the hair from your face and rubbing your back while trying to hush your cries.

It took a long while, but eventually, the tears had ceased and the whimpers were quiet and minimal. You simply took in Draco’s scent as he protectively held you. Upon noticing your silence, he finally broke the silence.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. You don’t deserve this.”

You released a pathetic chuckle, eyes looking empty as you dismiss the last part. “But it still happened. And now, I’m all alone.”

Immediately, Draco pulled you from his chest, keeping you in his arms but now facing him. He stared into your eyes with an unreadable expression and carefully remarked, “You are not alone. I’m here for you. Always.”

His response left you with a small grin tugging on your lips. You felt grateful to have a friend like him in your life, putting up with you no matter the circumstance. But as quickly as the thought came, it was replaced with the looming reality of what’s to come next week. You would have to come home for Christmas and endure constant neglect and judgement from your parents. Fear washed over your face in an instant as your eyebrows furrowed in worry.

Noticing the change of expression, he moved his hand to your jaw to hold the side of your face. “Hey, hey, what’s the matter now love?”

“I’m gonna have to come home for Christmas,” you spoke with quivering lips and a shaky tone. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes once more, but Draco caught each one and wiped them from your cheek with delicate strokes of his finger.

“No, Y/N, you won’t. Not this year, at least. You can come with me to my house, or I can stay with you at Hogwarts. Either way, I am not leaving you alone.”

“Y-you’ll stay with me?” you asked tentatively. You and him both knew how much you needed him at a time like this, but his understanding without your spoken words left you feeling a certain type of admiration for the boy.

Just as you did yesterday, Draco squeezed your hand in a reassuring manner before mumbling, “Of course I will.”

He then left a gentle kiss on your forehead, spreading warmth to every corner of your body. “I promise, Y/N. I won’t leave you. Not now, not later, not ever. I will always stick by your side.”

——————————

a/n — I had lots of fun writing this, despite it currently being an ungodly hour. Thank you again for requesting and let me know what you think!

#draco malfoy #draco x reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco one shot #draco malfoy one shot #draco fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter one shot #writing #my prompts #draco x reader imagines #draco malfoy imagines

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bush-viper-cutie · 4 years ago

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“The Final Match” || YEAR 3 – Ch.32 (HP au)

Chapter List

<-- Last Chapter Next Chapter -->

Day posted: 12/1/2020

Word count: 4, 201

Relationship: EVENTUAL severus X oc (slow burn)

Rating: E for everyone

Warnings: none

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A/N: This is my first fan fic I’m writing mainly as a way to practice. This is a retelling of the hp books with an inserted character. Although most every character will be written about, this is mostly for the pro snape fandom. Please do not fear, although this is a severus x oc story, it is an incredibly slow burn as I do not intend for them to get together at all until after the final book events. Chapters will be posted twice a week.

This derivative work follows the events of the Harry Potter books by Jk Rowling and is intended as a fun way to practice my writing. Thank you for reading :D

Hello! Sorry I didn’t post for a few weeks! I needed to take a break and deal with some mental health stuff but I feel much better :D I hope everyone’s been ok! Also I will be going back to the normal twice a week schedule so yay :D enjoy the chapter!

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~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~

Easter break had been the most tiring holiday Heather had ever experienced. Practice twice a day, essay after essay, having to pay attention to Ron and Harry and not seem exhausted by their presence, and even help Neville avoid a nervous collapse. As absolutely worn out as Heather felt, it was nothing compared to Hermione.

Mid break she had stopped responding to them all together, focusing only on her essays and studying. She was so off her usual self she didn’t even want them wandering around the library when they needed to look up books. ‘I need to stretch my legs anyways,’ she claimed and would go fetch whatever book they needed so long as they stayed put.

Hermione was so stressed she was constantly on the verge of tears, especially after coming back empty handed, unable to find the book Ron wanted.

“It’s alright, Hermione, Really.” Ron looked around uncomfortably. “I’ll just… read Harry’s book upside down. I’ve gotten good after three years of potions exams.”

While Hermione studied and during any time either Harry or Heather was at Quidditch practice, Ron read and gathered as much as he could for Buckbeak’s appeal. He took out books like ‘Fowl or Foul? A Study on Hippogriff Brutality’ and ‘The Handbook of Hippogriff Psychology’ and was so engrossed in it that Heather wondered why he didn’t put that much energy and effort into their normal essays. Ron seemed as hardworking as Hermione in those instances, except he was much more willing to call it quits when he’d had enough.

By the end of the Holidays, several of the Slytherins had done exactly what Marcus had told them to do and gone out and earned points any ways they could. Slytherin was ahead of Gryffindor for the House Cup by two-hundred points. Now if Gryffindor won the match, they’d either tie bare minimum or would have to work as hard as possible to earn over fifty points to beat Slytherin in the House Cup.

The Quidditch Cup however, was much more difficult. Marcus had sat the whole team down in the locker rooms and explained how tricky this match would be with Harry’s advantage. If no one scored any points at all and Harry caught the snitch within seconds, then Slytherin would lose the match but tie with Gryffindor and no one would earn the Quidditch Cup.

“So Bletchley, don’t let them score at ANY cost.” Marcus turned his intense eyes on Heather and Graham. “Potter, Montague. We’re plan b. By the end of the match we NEED to have scored at least one-hundred-and-fifty points to stay in the lead for House Cup. We’ll each aim for five scores each.”

Heather nodded and looked at Draco who was leaning against the lockers, sulking. All break long he’d tasked Crabbe and Goyle with getting into a fight with Harry but they hadn’t succeeded yet. Harry was constantly surrounded by his Quidditch team as often as possible ever since he’d told Wood what she had said.

“’Cept we won’t need that when I catch the Snitch.” Draco crossed his arms.

Marcus nodded. “Potter won’t be attempting to catch the Snitch until the Gryffindors have earned enough points if they’re smart. All you’ll have to do is catch it before he does – and I’ve no doubt he’ll do his best to stop you, though the Gryffindors aren’t the physical type so that’ll be easy.”

Draco kept his brows furrowed and glared at the nearest bench. There was more than just the Cups riding on this match. Heather knew Draco was still upset over the mud-throwing incident and Harry was even more furious with him after the fact of Buckbeak’s trial. Their rivalry was at its peak for the year, and it had even bled into her and Draco’s friendship.

It was weird to call it a friendship, considering she was supposed to hate him but there were the odd conversations with him that she enjoyed, and he never left her out like Pansy did, glad to talk to her about himself and how great his family is all the time. Now that he felt he was losing to Harry though, he could hardly look at her for very long without scowling at her. She was a Potter after all.

As the week went on, all Professors seemed to be assigning less and less homework on account of the match Saturday. It seemed like the whole school was anticipating the match and Slytherins and Gryffindors most of all. Scuffles broke out in the corridors, hexes and jinx were thrown during breakfast and lunch, and all the Gryffindors gathered around Harry constantly to keep him safe while all the Slytherins seemed to want to be tripping and elbowing him.

It was Friday night and Heather paced the dungeon corridors trying to keep her anxiety under control. She braided and re-braided her hair as she walked, holding her breath, counting to five, and letting it out. Five goals. That was all she needed to score. Just five. It seemed like a lot suddenly. All of Slytherin would be angry and Marcus would be furious if she didn’t do her part.

She headed back to the common room and sat on a cushion by the door and observed everyone talking about the match tomorrow. Marcus, Miles, and Graham were talking to a few girls and on the other side of the room Peregrine and Lucian were smacking hexed curtain puffs they’d ripped out. Draco was of course surrounded by his usual crowd by his favorite desk. Pansy was talking on and on to the group of third years but Draco just sat there, shaking his leg.

The common room door opened and she looked up to see it was Snape. He stepped inside and closed the door. He was searching the room and quickly spotted Marcus. “Flint.” His voice was low and yet everyone in the room seemed to recognize it immediately. Everyone hushed and turned to look at their Head of House. “I suggest you get your team to bed at once. I don’t intend on giving up the Quidditch Cup over a bunch of drowsy brats with no sense for time.” It seemed even Snape could sense how difficult the match would be.

Heather could smell the tangy scent of pickled tree oysters coming off his black trousers and the unmistakable smell of the penetratingly sweet base liquid used for almost all potions they brewed. She stayed seated in her spot as her team gathered their things and went into the dormitories. She wasn’t ready to go to bed with her anxious thoughts, and certainly not by Snape’s command.

She pulled her legs up to her chest and cursed to herself. Her movement had caught Snape’s attention out of the corner of his eyes. He glared down at her but she refused to look into his cold black eyes. She could feel her hair stand on end and finally gave in, standing up and marching to the girl’s dormitory, slamming the door hard before huffing and marching to her dorm.

She changed and fell back on her pillow, wishing she could have stayed downstairs and just ignored Snape. It would’ve been at least a small victory for her against him. Her eyelids began to close and she let them. If she were Harry, she’d just make potions incredibly annoying for him to get him back for bad mouthing her father. She could ask about the difference between Horn of Plenty and Trumpet of the Dead and whether they were less or more reactive than Black Chanterelle – which are of course all the same mushroom which would annoy him extra.

She fell asleep thinking about making her toad even more mossy on purpose next lesson instead of finally de-mossifying him and woke from a dream about replacing all of Snape’s Bladder Campions in jars with actual tiny bladders. Heather sat up and looked at the clock, seeing it was the perfect time to get up and shower before heading down for breakfast.

She got dressed in her Quidditch robes and headed out of the common room towards the Great Hall.

“Heather!”

Heather turned around and searched for Harry as he whispered her name again. She spotted his red robes hiding behind a column and walked down to him.

“Harry? What is it?”

He crossed his arms and bit his finger. He shook his head and sighed. “Alright. I know it’ll sound crazy… I think I saw Crookshanks walking with the Grim last night.”

Heather frowned.

“Listen!” Harry looked around and sighed again. “I woke up from a nightmare about the match and got up to get some water and I looked out the window and saw Crookshanks followed by the Grim and he was leading the Grim around the side of the castle!”

Heather tilted her head. “So… Hermione’s cat is friends with your Grim? Harry, the Grim isn’t an actual animal. It’s a sign. I saw the Grim in the clouds and Professor Trelawney sees it in leaves and mist and floating dust clumps… Are you sure you really saw it?”

Harry rubbed his neck and shook his head. “I tried getting Ron to see it too but he fell back asleep too fast.”

Heather placed her hand on Harry’s shoulder. “It’s just the match nerves. Or maybe you know deep down Slytherin’s going to win,” she teased.

“You wish.” Harry smiled and pushed away from the wall, stepping out from the column. “Maybe it was just a dog or something from Hogsmeade.”

Wood came out from the Great Hall and called Harry down to him.

“Good luck,” Harry said and quickly punched her arm before jogging over to Wood.

Harry entered the Great Hall to enormous applause, leaving her standing alone in the empty Entrance Hall. She really hoped she was right about it not being the Grim. She took a deep breath and entered after him.

She could see three out of the four tables were wearing as much red as possible. Hufflepuffs had on red hats and small twirling red signs while Ravenclaws held scarfs in their hands ready to swing in the air. Gryffindors were all wearing red shirts, red sweaters, red trousers, red socks, and red hair clips – it was a sea of red that looked to bleed onto the other tables.

She sat at the center of her Slytherin table with the team and picked up some toast and a few small links of sausage. Was she hungry? Was she starving? It felt like the butterflies in her stomach turned to rocks every so often. It was the hardest meal she’d ever had, having to watch the stone cold face of her captain as he glared at the rest of the school behind her, and even Draco looked sickly pale next to him.

Heather kicked Draco under the table making him jump. “We’re going to win and you’re going to catch the Snitch, alright? Harry’s not even going to try until they earn enough points and Bletchley won’t let them score any. You’ll have enough time.”

Draco nodded and took a bite of his toast, getting jam on the corners of his mouth. “I’m catching the Snitch first thing.” He nodded again as if cementing the idea in his head.

Heather relaxed a bit after some color returned to Draco’s face. The cheering had gotten too loud to ignore now and Pansy started cheering for the team, looking around at others and glaring at them until they joined in with her. Soon the Slytherin tables were thumping their fists on the table, filling the air with bangs and the slight clatter of metal forks bouncing off glass plates. It did a good job of drowning out the cheers for Gryffindor.

It was time for both teams to head out and Heather stood with her team and walked down, high fiving every stuck out hand from the Slytherin tables. She looked left and saw the Gryffindors were doing the same. Harry was walking down the other side of the Gryffindor table closest to the Ravenclaws when he stopped momentarily next to the Ravenclaw Seeker, Cho Chang, and went red. As they left the Great Hall Heather tried catching Harry’s eyes but it was no use, Wood was talking his ear off.

Heather grabbed her broom with Draco and they both entered the locker rooms, ready for whatever talk Marcus had in store for them.

Marcus paced the small space between the walls and stopped as they joined the rest of the team. “Win,” he said firmly. “Just win. By any means.”

“And just like that our nerves are gone,” Miles scoffed.

Marcus pulled him up by the collar and shook him. “What nerves? We’re Slytherins. We’ve been winning the Quidditch Cup for almost a decade. And no Potter will ruin that.”

Heather swallowed, feeling like he was also kind of talking about her.

Draco lifted his broom handle towards the team and yelled “No Potter can ruin that!”

The team smacked their broom handles against Draco’s and Heather had no choice but to join. She supposed she could consider this motivational somehow?

Marcus led them out onto the field where they took their spots. The whole school was cheering and making noise on the stands and although there were waves and waves of red, the Slytherins did their best to cover as much space with deep green and bright silver. In the front row behind the Slytherin goal post sat Snape wearing green like everyone else around him. He had on a grim smile and looked to Professor McGonagall who laughed and gestured to the stands of students waving ‘LIONS FOR THE CUP’ and ‘GO GRYFFINDOR’ flags.

“ON THE GRYFFINDOR TEAM,” Lee Jordan started his commentating, “WE HAVE POTTER, BELL, JOHNSON, SPINNET, WEASLEY, WEASLEY, AND WOOD – THE BEST TEAM CAPTAIN ON THE BEST HOGWARTS QUIDDITCH TEAM WE’VE SEEN IN A GOOD FEW YEARS – ”

His comments were drowned out by ‘boos’ from the Slytherins sitting not too far from him.

“AND ON THE SLYTHERIN TEAM IS CAPTAIN FLINT AND IT SEEMS HIS MAIN STRATEGY THIS YEAR WAS MAKING SURE THERE WAS MORE SIZE THAN SKILL ON THE TEAM – ”

Even Heather booed with the Slytherins at that. She and Draco were the smallest on the team for certain, but at least Graham and Miles had some skill too, even if they were enormous. Marcus, Lucian, and Peregrine however, they could do with less aggressive plays.

“BY SIZE THERE IS ALSO MONTAGUE, BOLE, DERRICK, BLETCHLEY, POTTER, AND MALFOY.”

Heather looked over at Draco to see him close his mouth and hide his look of shock. He glanced at her briefly and scowled, making her hold in a laugh.

The morning was fairly bright and there were no winds at all, making it perfect conditions for an intense final match. The Gryffindors mirrored their positions on the other side of the half-line and she gave Harry a tiny thumbs up which he matched for a split second. Madam Hooch came out with the ball-chest under her arm and set it down, ready to unlock on her whistle.

Heather gripped her broom hard, feeling her palms already sweaty and kicked off hard at the loud shrill of the whistle blow. Fourteen brooms rose in the air and darted into positions as Marcus and Wood fought for the Quaffle.

“GRYFFINDOR IN POSSESSION – QUAFFLE TAKEN BY SPINNET HEADING STRAIGHT FOR THE SLYTHERIN GOALPOSTS – LOOKING GOOD ALICIA! ARGH! NO – QUAFFLE INTERCEPTED BY MONTAGUE AS HE TEARS UP THE FIELD AND – WHAM! GOOD ARM THERE GEORGE. QUAFFLE CAUGHT BY JOHNSON AS SHE TAKES IT ALL THE WAY BACK – SWERVES AROUND POTTER – DUCK! OHH – OH! SHE SCORES!”

The Gryffindor fans filled the field with whistles and cheers as they waved red flags and scarfs in the air. Miles avoided looking towards Marcus but Heather gave him a thumbs up, he nodded his head as the Quaffle was recovered.

Heather gasped as Marcus smashed into Angelina Johnson, nearly knocking her off her broom.

“Didn’t see her!” Marcus yelled to the booing crowd of scarlet below. “Sorry!”

Heather rolled her eyes at him and gasped again as Fred’s Beater’s club flew through the air and smacked Marcus on the back of his head, making him smash his nose on his broom handle causing a nose bleed.

Madam Hooch flew up between them and blew her whistle. “Penalty shot to Gryffindor for an unprovoked attack on their Chaser! Penalty shot to Slytherin for deliberate damage to THEIR Chaser!” Before they could argue Madam Hooch blew her whistle again and Johnson flew forward to take penalty, eyeing Marcus with immense loathing.

“JOHNSON TAKES THE SHOT AND – SCORE! SHE��S BEATEN THE KEEPER YET AGAIN. TWENTY-ZERO TO GRYFFINDOR, FIRST TWO POINTS MADE BY ANGELINA JOHNSON.”

Marcus flew forward with the Quaffle under his arm and aimed at the Gryffindor goalposts where Wood sat ready on his broom.

“FLINT TAKES THE SHOT AND – WOOD’S SAVED IT! HE’S SAVED IT! THAT’S STILL TWENTY-ZERO WITH THE BEST HOGWARTS TEAM STILL IN THE LEAD!”

Heather groaned and felt the little butterflies in her stomach all drop dead and turn to boulders. The Gryffindors were much closer to getting the necessary points they needed to win both cups and allow for Harry to catch the Snitch. Draco flew by quickly, desperately searching for the Snitch as Harry trailed him meters behind – a distance afforded to him by the firebolt.

Heather nodded at Marcus and took her position again as the Quaffle was recovered and put back into play.

“GRYFFINDOR IN POSSESSION – NO – SLYTHERIN IN – NO BACK IN GRYFFINDOR POSSESSION AND ITS WITH BELL AS SHE STREAKS UP THE FIELD – THAT WAS DELIBERATE!”

Graham had swooped down and grabbed hold of Katie Bell’s head instead of the Quaffle, making her drop it in an attempt to dislodge her head from under his arm.

Madam Hooch flew back up and yelled at him before awarding Gryffindor another penalty which Katie gladly took.

“THIRTY-ZERO! THAT’S RIGHT, KEEP CHEATING YOU DIRTY – ”

“MR. JORDAN, IF YOU CAN’T COMMENTATE AS UNBIASED AS POSSIBLE – ”

“JUST SAYIN’ IT HOW IT IS PROFESSOR – ”

While the game was stalled on Lee Jordan and Professor McGonagall’s arguments, Heather flew over to Marcus and Graham. “Drop the whole ‘win by any means’! We’re losing! Stick to the plays!”

Marcus glared at her but nodded. “We’ll take those points back. Stick to the plays.”

Graham nodded and they split up, taking their positions around Marcus like they normally did. The game was back on and as they wrestled with Gryffindor for the possession of the Quaffle, Heather spotted Derrick and Bole closing in on a speeding Harry just as he pulled up out of the way and they collided against each other.

“HA HA! SOMEONE GET DERRICK AND BOLE AN ICE PACK, THEY SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN WHY THE FIREBOLT’S THE BEST BROOM ON THE MARKET!”

Graham had barely grazed the Quaffle when Johnson intercepted.

“GRYFFINDOR IN POSSESSION – MONTAGUE FLYING ALONSIDE JOHNSON – MONTAGUE IN POSSESSION! OH NO FLYING TOWARDS THE GRYFFINDOR GOALPOSTS – BELL AND SPINNET CLOSING IN ON HIM! – FLINT IN POSSESSION NOW – NO STOP IT WOOD! – ARGH! SLYTHERIN SCORES.”

The Slytherins behind the Slytherin goalposts erupted with cheers. Lee Jordan swore and Professor McGonagall tried tugging the magical megaphone away.

“SORRY! WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN! – THIRTY-TEN, GRYFFINDOR STILL IN THE LEAD BUT SLYTHERIN HAS POSSESSION AGAIN – ”

The tide was turning now that they were more focused on plays and not cheating. Heather followed close beneath Flint and on cue caught his dropped Quaffle and scored the second points for Slytherin. Wood pounded on his handle and the Slytherins cheered again.

“THIRTY-TWENTY, COME ON GRYFFINDORS DON’T LET THEM CATCH UP!”

Four of five goals down, she just needed five goals total to reach her own goal. That was the plan. She zoomed forward and cut off Spinnet, sending her diving down to avoid collision, freeing up space for Marcus to throw to Graham. Graham shot forward with the Quaffle in hot pursuit by Bell and Johnson and just as he aimed to throw into the goalposts, Bell snatched it from his hand and made her way across the field. Gryffindor scored freely for the last time that match.

It was forty-twenty and now even Heather felt the same angry fire behind Marcus and Graham’s eyes. Marcus scored, and then Graham, and just after Heather had rammed into Johnson to stop her from cutting between Marcus’s throw, Heather caught the Quaffle and scored for Slytherin once again.

Forty-fifty and Slytherins were in the lead now. Bell was on Heather’s tail from then on as she shadowed Marcus to his right. A Bludger nearly knocked him off his broom but Graham saved it and scored again. Fred and George were now focusing their efforts on Marcus as Lucian and Peregrine aimed for them.

Heather looped on her broom to lose Bell momentarily to help pass the Quaffle to Graham again as Marcus dodged two Bludgers, and he scored again. On and on it went cleanly until the score was forty to one-hundred and Heather had scored her five goals. Then Lucian hit Alicia Spinnet with his club, stopping her from taking possession and George elbowed him in the face.

Madam Hooch gave each team a penalty shot and Miles finally blocked it. Wood didn’t let Marcus score. Bell attempted to score and while Fred and George were distracted trying to help block Graham and Heather from closing in on her, Peregrine and Lucian aimed the Bludgers at Wood, giving Gryffindor two more penalty shots. Miles saved one and the score became fifty to one-hundred. Wood climbed back over his broom and clutched his stomach.

Slytherin quickly took the points back. Heather scored twice more after Flint scored twice and Graham scored once.

“SLYTHERIN IS AT A HUNDRED POINT LEAD… WHERE’S THAT SNITCH!”

The game was dragging on and Harry and Draco were now searching the skies and ground for the Snitch. Draco kept on Harry’s tail as best he could as they circled the Quiditch pitch once, twice – Harry dashed forward and reached out for the golden speck twenty feet in front.

Draco sped after him, managing to cut the distance on a quick turn as the Snitch flew away from them. Harry had the Snitch inches from his fingers when Draco jumped forward and caught the tail of Harry’s broom in his hands, dragging him back.

Harry swung a fist at Draco’s face but couldn’t reach. Harry turned back and slowed, realizing the Snitch had disappeared from view.

“CHEATER! CHEATING! YOU FILTHY CHEATING SLYTHERIN – !” Lee was dancing out of McGonagall’s grasp.

“Penalty!” Madam Hooch yelled.

Spinnet took the shot and was blocked by Miles who was still laughing at Draco’s penalty. Heather felt her team was newly invigorated by Draco’s desperate ‘by any means’ tactics.

The game was back on and Johnson had the Quaffle. Heather and the other Chasers flew after her, closing in at once when Harry cut through them like a red bullet, making them all scatter to avoid falling off their brooms and allowing her to score.

“Harry!” Heather yelled and quickly noticed Draco across the field streaking up towards a tiny shiny speck.

Harry noticed and tore after Draco, closing the field-wide distance within seconds. Heather watched, frozen in place, as Draco closed in on the Snitch. Marcus took this chance to score once more as everyone’s attention was on the Seekers.

Draco’s fingers were stretched, arm fully extended as he leaned forward on his broom. His blond hair whipping back as he cut through the air.

Harry had reached Draco and was now urging his broom to go faster as he stretched out his arm towards the Snitch.

They were both inches away from it, closing in – Harry threw himself forward, knocking Draco’s arm out of the way and caught the Snitch in one cupped swoop of his hand.

“HARRY POTTER’S CAUGHT THE SNITCH! THAT’S TWO-HUNDRED POINTS TO ONE-HUNDRED-AND-SIXTY! GRYFFINDOR WINS!”

The crowd erupted with cheers and the field below filled with red and gold as everyone touched down. Heather walked up to Marcus who was fuming but surprisingly remained calm. He clenched his fist and looked at all of them as they gathered around him quietly.

“We won the cup. That’s all that matters. They needed at least a fifty-point lead before Potter caught the Snitch.” Marcus looked at Draco and nodded. “Good try, Malfoy.”

Draco looked like he could murder anyone who looked at him the wrong way. He nodded and headed towards the broom shed, shoving and pushing any and all Gryffindors in his way.

The Gryffindor crowd was lifting Harry on their shoulders, satisfied with the win and victory over Slytherins and Draco. Heather trailed behind the crowd not wanting to bump into Ron or Hermione. Although the cup was still and would remain in the safety of Snape’s office, the loss against Gryffindor was felt among all Slytherins.

Draco almost had it, inches away, seconds away, but was doomed to lose against Harry’s firebolt.

Was everyone doomed to lose against Harry?

~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~

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seokjinsdisciple · 5 years ago

Text

Riddikulus- five

jungkook x reader, hogwarts!au, enemies to lovers!au

Warnings: fingering, oral, very public sex, degradation,(all of that is NOT with Jungkook so youve been warned), language

Word Count: 2.6k

THIS IS UNEDITED

series masterlist

You were writing an essay for potions in the library, the events of last night out of your mind as you researched how to make the Draught of Peace. You weren’t paying attention to your surroundings, something you realized too late as a cough rang out from beside you. If you had been paying attention, you wouldn’t have jumped, but here you were, sitting scared next to a grinning Jungkook.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, raising your eyebrow at his open potions book.

“You promised to tutor me,” He stated, leaning back in his chair and giving you a cocky smirk. His eye was bruised, and he had a small cut on his lip, all evidence to the shit he had put me through this past week.

“If you honestly think I am gonna help you after the shit you pulled, you’re dumber than I thought, Kook.”

You tried to return to your work, but with Kook sitting next to you, you knew this silence wouldn’t last long.

“Listen, I know you aren’t going to believe me, but I didn’t send that note.”

“You’re right, I don’t believe you,” you added, shooting a glare at him as you started to read your book, clearly trying to send him the message that you didn’t want to talk.

“Please help me, my parents expect me to be an Auror, and there is no way I’ll get a high enough O.W.L.’s score without your help.”

Now, this was interesting. In all of the times that you have known Jungkook, he has never begged, not for a single thing. To say your interest was piqued would be an understatement.

“And if I help you, what do I get?”

At this, Jungkook let out a huff, “What am I supposed to help you with, you are like the smartest person in our year.”

You couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face, and he realized he had made a mistake in letting that out.

“Shut up. I take it back,” he tried, rolling his eyes at your smile and looking away.

“I didn’t say anything,” you chuckled, “Plus there is no way I’m letting you take that back.”

A comfortable silence fell between us, both of us returning to our respective papers. Once again, you found yourself completely focused on your research, and before you knew it, you were writing the last sentence. You took a quick glance at Jungkook’s paper, he had only written a paragraph, and what you read was riddled with grammatical errors and with false information about the draught.

“What mark do you need on the potions O.W.L. to make the N.E.W.T level?” you asked him, his concerned eyes meeting yours and making you laugh.

“Exceeds Expectations,” he gulped, following your scrutinizing gaze to his only paragraph, “This is why I need your help!”

You snatched his paper off the desk and read the whole thing thoroughly. He was watching you intently, his eyes hesitant to trust that you weren’t about to rip his (slim) progress to shreds.

“It’s not too bad, but we are gonna need to meet twice a week if you hope to get an EE on the exam in the Spring,” you stated, nonchalantly throwing his paper down on the desk in front of him, his mouth agape at my sentence.

“Wait, you are going to help me?” He questioned, taking a look at the paper in front of him before scratching his head, “but I can’t give you anything in return…”

“About that,” you started, grabbing the supplies you had strewn across the desk and beginning to pack up, “you claim that you didn’t send the note, right?”

At my question, Jungkook sighed, “I already told you I didn’t send it.”

“Alright, alright,” you conceded, raising your arms up, “do you know who did send it?”

Jungkook just sat there for a minute, as if thinking through how he should answer my question, “Yeah, I know who sent it, but that doesn’t mean you should know.”

“Well that's the deal,” you said, standing up and slinging your bag over your shoulder, “You tell me who sent the note after I help you get an EE on your exams.”

You gave Kook a smile and started walking down the row of bookshelves, “The ball is in your court, Kook. How badly do you want that grade?”

You didn’t really want to help Jungkook, god knows he would deserve to fail, but you wanted to know who sent that note. They had crossed a line, and you wanted them to suffer because of it. Call you an evil Slytherin if they like, but you were sick of being made fun of. Plus, you had to study for your potions O.W.L anyways, whether Jungkook was there or not.

You arrived back into the common room, the sound of the crackling fire calming as you made your way over to the couches that your group claimed. Jimin had quidditch practice, and Yoongi was still pissed about the fight. So you weren't surprised when you found yourself alone on the couch. You stretched out, grabbed your Transfiguration book from your backpack and started reading. The common room was a surprisingly good place to read, the idle chatter and laughter made great background noises to distract you from your thoughts and help you focus. Well, usually they did, but today you were completely focused on that goddamn note. If Jungkook hadn’t sent it, then how did he know (in general) what was on it? Plus, he had been so willing to say it was him in front of everyone else. You let out a deep sigh, closing your book a little too harshly.

“You ok there, princess?” Seonghwa questioned, a slight smile playing on his lips.

“Just thinking about some things, Hwa,” you smiled as he pressed a kiss to your temple. You lifted your legs as he sat down, allowing him to scoot closer and rest your legs in his lap. Seonghwa had been acting more domestic recently, and as much as you hated to admit it, you kinda liked him. This wasn’t something that you were used to, you were normally just a fuck kinda girl and without all of the frills of romance, it was just easier. But as Hwa started rubbing your calf, you couldn’t help the butterflies that filled your stomach.

“Did you hear a thing I just said?” Seonghwa laughed, you joined him as heat flooded your cheeks.

“Sorry… I was thinking,” you nudged him with your foot, “tell me again?”

“Oh no, princess, you have to tell me what had your pretty little face scrunching up,” he winked at you, squeezing your calf lightly, but you couldn't meet his eyes.

“Hwa,” you started, glancing quickly at him, “I know we agreed that this was just a sex thing, but… I think I like you.”

At this, Hwa just laughed. “Princess, I really wish you would have just heard the entire speech I just gave to prove to you that I like you too,” he just smiled as you looked quickly up at him.

“Wait, what?” you asked, sitting up quickly as he nodded his head, a grin growing on his face. His lips found yours, the passion and sincerity of both of your words melting into the kiss. Passionate kisses quickly turned into frantic hands, and thank god that the couch you and your friends frequently sit in is in a more secluded area. If it wasn’t, you might have been a little bit more hesitant to have Seonghwa slipping his hands under your skirt. His fingers found themselves in your folds easily, slipping inside your heat. Had your lips not been occupied with Seonghwa’s, you would have let a moan slip out as he curled his fingers, pressing directly where he knew your sensitive spot was.

“Shh, princess,” he whispered against your lips, “be good for me, ok?”

His lips made a path from your jaw to your neck, taking their time to make a mark whenever he wanted. His fingers kept their pace, and at the rate you were whimpering, it didn’t surprise you when you found his free hand covering your mouth. You mewled as his lips finally made contact with your core, his tongue swiping at your clit, before pressing a soft kiss to it.

“You better be quiet, or you will be punished later,” he added, his lust-filled eyes meeting your desperate ones as he returned to your center. His fingers were slamming into you with a precision that only Seonghwa had, you had been together so many times that he knew exactly what to do to make you unravel. With the combination of his tongue and fingers, the knot in your core was growing tighter and tighter, and he could tell. He shoved two fingers into your mouth, giving you something to suck on as he continued his ministrations. Right as you were about to cum, he pulled away, giving you a warning glare at the whine that was about to leave your lips.

“You only get to come around my cock, today princess,” he growled, slipping his hard member through the zipper of his pants, “come sit, baby.”

You took a look around the common room, a few people lingered, but it was still relatively empty. You hurriedly straddled him, pressing a hasty kiss to his lips as you sank down his length. Your hips rolled slowly so that if anyone looked over, it would just look like the two of you were making out. You could feel his length pulsing in you, eyes fluttering shut as he met your hips with subtle thrusts. The pleasure wasn’t overwhelming like it normally is, but you knew the thing getting the both of you off was the fact that there were people around, and anyone could see the two of you. The thought had you clenching around his length, Hwa letting out a quiet growl as you did.

“Do you like this, princess?” he asked, “like the idea that anyone can see what a good little slut you’re being for me?”

Now, it was your turn to moan, Hwa’s words were just what you needed to be thrown over the edge.

“That’s a good girl,” he smiled, running his hand down your face and rubbing it gently with his thumb, “cum for me, show everyone here who you belong to, hm?”

You rested your head on his shoulder, biting lightly to try and stop yourself from moaning. His hands landed on your hips, one hand encouraging you to keep moving, and the other rubbing gently. Your lips found his again, and when he grunted into your mouth, body shuddering you knew he had finished. The two of you sat like that for a second, his cock softening as you lazily kissed. You frowned when he pulled away, he just chuckled, pressing a kiss to your nose to placate you.

“Be my girlfriend?” he asked, hands tucking the messy strands of hair behind your ear.

“Of course,” You huffed out, falling gently on his chest out of exhaustion. He pressed a soft kiss to your temple, before urging you to get up.

“C’mon princess, we gotta get cleaned up.”

It took a lot for you to stand up, but Seonghwa helped you, laughing a little at the wobbliness of your legs. He helped you to the girl’s staircase, pressing a kiss to your lips before watching as you went down the steps to your room.

You found yourself arriving in potions before Jungkook, something that rarely happened. Yet here you were, reading the ingredients list as grabbing enough for the two of you to start on time. He came hurrying in, right as the bell rang, sending a sheepish smile to Slughorn who just waved him off. As he slid into the seat next to you, he whispered a quick thanks as he held the extra bezoar in his hand. Slughorn’s lecture today was pretty dull, even by your standards, but Jungkook was focused, taking diligent notes as he talked. When Slughorn let you create the potion he had been describing, you turned to Jungkook.

“Why are you trying so hard?”

“Well,” he started, shrugging as he said, “I am gonna take you up on the deal, and I know how much you hate it when I copy your notes so…”

“So you took notes yourself, I’m impressed Kook,” you smirked, starting your potion, “We can meet every Tuesday and Thursday if that works for you.”

“Actually, I have quidditch practice on Tuesdays, maybe we could do Thursdays and Sundays? But only if that works for you...”

You glanced up from your potion, he genuinely wanted to make sure you would be ok with that plan. Kook was not one to be told what to do, so you were a little taken aback that he would even consider the fact that other people had schedules too. “Yeah, that works for me.”

“Cool,” he said, adding a bit too much rosemary to his potion for it to be perfect, but it wouldn’t ruin it, “so you and Seonghwa, huh?”

“Yeah, we're kinda a thing now,” you said, glancing at him as he nodded his head a little too forcefully.

“I didn’t think you were the dating type…” he added, watching you intently.

“Neither did I,” you laughed, taking in his weird behaviors.

“Have you told Joon yet?”

You just sent a look his way, and he held up his hands, “Okok… it was just a question,” he added.

“I’m gonna tell him soon, I just, well he’s not exactly the biggest fan of Seonghwa.”

“Trust me, princess. I know,” he groaned, “I’m the one who has to hear all about it from Jin.”

You just let out a laugh, “I’m sorry you’re stuck hearing about Hwa.”

He laughed for a second, glancing down at his potion and going quiet. He was acting so strange today, and you didn’t know what to make of it.

“Just be careful with him,” he said softly. Ignoring your eye roll at his statement.

“God, Kook, you sound like Namjoon.”

“I know, I’m sorry, it’s just- Seonghwa isn’t as sweet as you think.”

“Ok Kook, I’m sure you know my boyfriend so much better than I do.”

“I know what he’s capable of doing,” Jungkook added, angrily throwing in some herb that you knew didn’t go in this potion.

You just scoffed at this, going back to your potion and ignoring Jungkook's lingering stares. It seemed like anytime you and Jungkook made any progress with being nice to each other, one of you would say something stupid, and it would be back to square one. So you sat in tense silence until Slughorn checked your potions and dismissed you. You ignored Jungkook’s goodbye and smiled as he angrily threw his backpack over his shoulder and stormed out. You ignored Jimin’s questioning glance as Jungkook pushed past him. You just grabbed your stuff and followed a confused Jimin to your next class.

#jungkook gryffindor #jungkook x reader #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook enemies to lovers #bts enemies to lovers #enemies to lovers #hogwarts au #bts hogwarts au #bts scenarios #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #riddikulus

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fizzypunks · 4 years ago

Text

its a date but its not a date

fandom: My Hero Academia/ Boku No Hero Academia word count: 3.8k/oneshot rating: t summary: hizashi takes shouta to a little festival and insists its not a date... just pure fluff bc <3

ship: Aizawa Shouta/ Hizashi Yamada | Erasermic

note: this reads better in AO3 because it keeps formatting for italics, which tumblr does not!

AO3

___

Yamada Hizashi wasn’t a timid person – it wasn’t even a quirk thing, it was just his nature, and it was something he was proud of. Sure, he’d been called loud and obnoxious, and some have been less than kind about his quirk when it’s gotten out of control. His quirk control wasn’t great for a very long time, but none of what he’d been called or heard had really changed the way he carries himself, and that includes his extroverted nature.

He was, however, a panicked person, when it came to matters of interest .

Love.

Whatever .

And, because love was the one thing that made him think twice about what he says, what he does or doesn’t do, that has landed him in the exact predicament that he’s facing right now.

Hizashi tapped his pen against his essay, the half filled pages of his stationary blurring together into a mass of lines and half-assed penmanship. He’d been staring at it for the past five minutes, when he’d given up on trying to ignore his annoying problem.

Shouta .

It’s been getting harder to ignore the stupid pull of something he’s recently identified as yearning that comes every time he thinks of his best friend. Stronger than any hurricane gale, it pulls in every thought he has until there are no more to be had. Just Shouta, and his messy hair, and the eyes he thinks are pretty despite always being so blood-shot.

Hizashi groans, faintly feeling heat spill across his cheeks. “God, why must I be so fucked?”

It’s not like he’s even asking him out on a date – no, he’s not bold enough to do that in their last year and semester of school– there’s no need for distractions like that right now, whatever outcome may or may not come from it…. no, he’s just asking to take Shouta to the Autumn festival at the park, because Shouta should do something fun and get out of his room and not explode from stress.

The poor guy has been spending all his time studying and stressing and sleeping even less , so of course Hizashi would want to help his friend out and get him to relax.

Yeah, that’s what it was – one friend asking another friend out because stress is bad.

That doesn’t change the nervous skip in his heart right now, as he sits at his desk and thinks about…

Hizashi groans again, tipping back in his chair and hooking his foot against the back of his desk so that he’s less likely to tumble. Theoretically, at least.

Why does it feel so significant right now? He’d asked Shouta to do countless things with him! He’d gotten him to agree to go to the movies a bunch of times, and to a party or two, and, most recently, he’d even been able to rope him into going to a karaoke club! He didn’t sing, they left earlier than he’d planned, but Shouta had fun!

Hizashi narrowed his eyes at the white ceiling and the ceiling fan that whirled past his vision, playing with the very edge of the wooden panel that kept him from tumbling onto his carpet.

This wasn’t supposed to mean anything, but somehow it did.

It felt like a declaration, no matter how he phrased it in his head, and he doesn’t understand the logic behind it.

Fine. Whatever! I’ll just ask, and be blunt, and do it right before I leave so there’s no room for thinking, and it’ll be okay!

Something like, “Hey, Shouta, let’s go to this festival! It’ll be so much fun! PLUS, I think you’ll look cute sharing cocoa with me!”

Hizashi’s eyes widened, his foot slipped in that one moment of lost focus, and he fell –

“ Fuck!”

It was a little too loud, bordering on quirk use, but he had other problems to think about beside that .

He rubbed the back of his head.

“Man…”

If he can’t even imagine it the right way… how was he supposed to actually ask? It would be pretty stupid to try when he knew he could act a little too carelessly and, potentially, damage the good friendship they had going on.It was probably better left un-asked.

Unsaid, un-asked, and out of mind.

It was most certainly not out of mind, that is clear.

Shouta is sitting across from him, half-mast eyes scanning the copy of his English text book in a way that looked a lot more performative than informative. Their booth was tucked more toward the back of the cafe, and it would normally be a bit more secluded and quiet, but midterms brought students from the woodwork and into any coffee-scented establishment, which their happened to be.

What great luck.

All around them was the sound of machines grinding coffee, books being shifted around, and light conversation in between bouts of half-silences – and a heavy vale of constant movement that proved to be less than ideal for studying, despite all the students trying to do just that .

It was to be expected this time of year, but it was still enough to bother Shouta. He concentrated better with silence, and he happened to be struggling a lot more on English than he does on his other subjects.

Hizashi, thankfully, understood the material enough for the both of them and then some, and already finished his homework – the papers in front of him were notes, ready to be explained the moment Shouta needed it, with hand-writing that was still pretty bad but…

For Shouta, he’d made an effort. The result was somewhat-legible scribbles lining the papers, and when he referenced it, Shouta didn’t have to ask too many questions about, “what is this right here?”

“I’m not going to pass.”

Hizashi turned his eyes to Shouta, like he hadn’t been trying to find a reason to look at him longer. He was wearing a big, thick red scarf, which his hair was somewhat tucked into. He didn’t look up, he just kept his eyes on his text book. His irises weren’t moving on the page.

“Oh man, don’t say that! How’d you think you’re gonna pass if you don’t believe in yourself?”

“It’s because I don’t believe in myself.”

Hizashi grabbed his warm cocoa and took a sip, if only to busy his hands with something . “Shouta! I don’t like this type of negativity!”

“Well, you’ve chosen the wrong friendship then.”

“Or, maybe, the right one!”

Shouta looked up, and Hizashi held his gaze. His eyes had been given a break over the past few days of written work, so the redness that often lined them was almost completely gone.

His skin looked soft too…

His hair, it was fluffy and cute, also..

“Hizashi?”

He’d been staring and not talking and he leaned back into his seat like a magnet to metal. He started laughing, holding his drink up to his face. “Well, maybe I can cheer you up! What are friends for, right? And maybe it will turn that attitude around, ya think?”

“You’re not making any sense?”

Hizashi hated that it was true but there’s no going back now – his mouth was ten steps ahead of him anyway, and not even he could stop it.

He smiled widely at Shouta. “I mean, maybe I’m here to make sure you don’t stress yourself out so much! You always do so much but never check yourself, and I’m here to fix that!”

Shouta huffed, head bobbing just a bit. Then he smirked and Hizashi had to concentrate on his breathing. “And how do you propose you’d do that?”

Oh, it was so easy – this was the opportunity the gods gave him after seeing him fall on his ass just a few days before.

Hizashi leaned forward, and set his elbows down on his notes, a hot cocoa between them. “One word. Festival .”

Shouta’s eyebrows quirked down just a bit, and he tilted his head to the side, his hair tilting with him. “Festival?”

“What do ya say? The park next to my neighborhood has one this weekend, and it’s free, and there’s food, and I really wanna go!”

Hizashi grew pink at the admission, fought against the urge to cover his mouth, but Shouta didn’t comment.

Then, a little surprisingly, instead of arguing or finding reasons why it wasn’t logical to take time away from studies so close to exams, he gave him a smile.

A small, intentional, Shouta smile. “Sure.”

Hizashi tried to not sound over-enthused – just nodded his head and almost squeezed his cup too hard. “Yes! I finally got you to agree to do something!”

“You always get me to do things.”

“Yes, and I did it again!”

Shouta rolled his eyes, and turned his attention back down to the English he’d never really understand.

Hizashi was certain he looked fine. He wasn’t sure if it was great , but it was probably fine, and whatever.

Beside, had many other things to worry about, that were a lot more important than whether or not his shirt matched his shoes. Like, for one, how he still couldn’t quite shake the feeling of significance .

It was back, that nagging intrusion into his thoughts that insisted that something was supposed to be different this time. As he looked over his outfit in his body mirror, pulling over his heavy, long jacket, he had to remind himself that there was nothing different about today. Even if he really, in his heart, wanted there to be something different.

Huh.

So maybe the difference was the amount of yearning – Hizashi sighed, thinking about his feelings last year and comparing them to now.

He huffed, a huge sigh finally making itself known.

Yeah, the feelings he had now were bigger and grander than they’d been last year and they threatened to take over his life if he let them…

Hizashi sighed, rubbed his hands over his face, and pushed his hair back only to reveal his pink, flustered expression to its fullest.

“Sweet lord, have mercy on me! I am an idiot with a crush!”

He collapsed onto his bed and waited out the last of the thirty minutes before Shouta was going to arrive at his door.

Shouta knocked, and Hizashi was already ready – his heart doing flips like he’d never experienced, but oddly enough, it didn’t feel bad. It felt exciting, and loving, and when he opened the door to the crisp autumn air, it felt like home .

Stop that!

Shouta, for all his questionable outfits, looked nice . And he always looked nice, but now he was wearing black boots, and brown khakis that somehow sort of matched Hizashi’s own, and a black tee underneath a black jacket.

He never went anywhere in the cold without a scarf, either, and today was no exception. A red variety was ceremoniously draped around his neck, loose enough to not be covering his face.

Hizashi tried not to beam, but felt the shape his eyes took at the other and knew it wasn’t working. “Ready?!” He asked, a little too loud.

“Yes… you said it was close, right? At the park?”

Hizashi nodded, stepping out and slipping his hand into a pocket to make sure he had his keys and wallet. Confirming quickly, he shut the door behind him, again, with a little too much enthusiasm.

He was buzzing . Some type of energy that he normally had built up in him, that he normally kept pretty good reins on, was taking over –

He was so excited, but, even more – he was just happy .

He looked to Shouta, and smiled, and then led the way down his steps and onto the quiet street. The sky was clear, save for some cloud further down on the horizon. The trees were starting to make themselves barren, and the smell of wood burning fires started to break out as soon as the sun hit its peak.

The neighborhood, secluded and at peace, was quiet, and Shouta walked beside him in comfort.

Hizashi never struggled to say anything, and now is no different – except it is, when he thinks he’ll say something dumb like “hey i like you so much, you make my world right, also I love you. ”

He can’t say that.

But he really, really wants to.

He’s wanted to for years, and he’s almost said it more than once, and now he’s let the silence build around them…

Shouta often takes mercy on him, and so he did it again this time. Their pace was slow and there was a little bit of space between them, and he sighs. “This is really nice.”

Hizashi smiles, keeps his eyes on the road as it winds forward. “I’m glad you think so! We’ve stressed so much, it’s a good weekend getaway, don’t you think?”

Shouta laughs – it’s more of a chuckle, but it’s a laugh where Shouta is concerned. “Yeah, you’re right. I needed this, a lot, I think…”

They reach the corner, looking for cars that weren’t coming. The crest of trees a few blocks ahead could be seen above rooftops, and that’s where Hizashi fixes his gaze. “Me too,” he says softly, and leaves it at that because he’s always on the verge of too many words.

“You seem really… energized.”

Hizashi fumbles with his hands, pretending to warm them up and not like he’s nervous. “When am I not!”

Shouta hums, and it’s so deep and close that it makes Hizashi wish he could just…

But then Shouta reaches out, and grabs at the hands Hizashi is cradling in front of him, blunt and to the point. He takes Hizashi’s left hand and slots their fingers together in his right, and Hizashi knows he can feel the clamminess…

He looks back, sputtering, his heart erratic, “Shou – wha– I’m –”

Does he know this is messing with me?

And Shouta, in that calm, stupid way he always carries himself, smiles. “Maybe that’s what I’m here for.”

He squeezes their hands, and Hizashi must look confused because Shouta laughs.

“You always try to bring me up, so I think I can help bring you calm… You seem nervous, so,” he looked at their hands, swung them just a bit for emphasis. “Calm.”

Hizashi feels every bit of himself crumble, falls away like a cliff against a storm, and smiles because it’s all he can do. He blushes and he can feel how it spreads, and he doesn’t say anything because every sentence ends in I love you .

The festival was a pleasant and home-y affair, and after they’d gotten there, they’d learned that it was quite bigger than either of them anticipated. Though it was still a neighborhood one, hosted by the local families and park itself, it was still filled to every corner.

They’d gotten there during the peak of the sun, but it quickly descended as they wove in and out of the scattered foot traffic. The air was crisper where the lake sat in the center of the park, and the trees casted half shadows around the food and merchant vendors.

They were walking around for less than an hour before the lanterns and torches were starting to light around them.

Shouta still held Hizashi’s hand, and once he’d accepted the lovely fact, he’d loosened up enough to feel like his mouth wasn’t going to get him into trouble.

“Wow! Shou! Look!” He pointed out, across the deep blue lake, to the hovering lights that surrounded it.

Shouta hummed warmly. “It looks very nice.”

Hizashi was still smiling, still enamored by the lights as they floated out across his vision – the way the cool air from the dipping sun brushed against his skin and somehow made all the warmth in him that much warmer.

He quickly cast his eyes down to Shouta, and found him looking at him.

Hizashi’s ears burned and he looked away really fast, heart thumping deep in the cage of his chest.

Oh don’t you dare say it. Don’t you DARE.

“Um…” He said softly, intentionally because otherwise his quirk might get the best of him – he didn’t know if he was embarrassed by his enthusiasm, or by the way Shouta was watching him, but it all went away when Shouta tugged them along the side of the lake.

It’s a few more moments before Hizashi gathers up the right words to say – the ones that aren’t gushy and filled with emotions he’s certain Shouta wouldn’t reflect.

“So!” He starts, looking around now that they were near the cluster of food stands. The air was filled with burning wood, meat, sauce, alive with the sound of simmering and laughter. “Want food? My treat! We can’t walk away without trying everything at least once!”

“I didn’t know you were rich enough to do that.”

Hizashi chuckled. “I’m serious, though. Whatever you want!”

Hizashi ignored the eyes tilted his way, right before leading off to Hizashi’s right. Hizashi turns around enough to look at the little stand and it’s cloth menu.

It was a takoyaki shop, with different bao, and there was no line.

Hizashi smiled, and it was his turn to tug Shouta forward. He couldn’t really look at him, not just yet any way, but he could hear the light lilt in his voice when he ordered from the kind eyed older man at the register. Hizashi made his order quickly, and paid, and they walked away with various stacks of food.

It wasn’t even a question where they’d go, and they found a spot under a tree to sit with their food.

The grass was cut, and the little hill they sat on overlooked a great deal of the sprawling festival that surrounded them. Up here, the voices that surrounded them, the chatter, the laughter that Hizashi was not interested in, was duller – muted, and when Shouta hummed in hungry appreciation at his bao, it made his heart ache all the more.

He snuck a look to his right, graced by the mercy of Shouta closing his eyes. He’d just taken a bite, had unravelled most of his scarf to do so, and was now enjoying it for all it’s worth.

Hizashi’s eyes softened at the sight.

God.

And Shouta opened his eyes, in his direction like he just knew.

Hizashi looked down and took his bao. “This looks good! I should eat like this more.”

“You should take me to more festivals, too.”

Hizashi choked a bit – he recovered fast, and cast a glance toward Shouta. “Sure thing!”

This feeling...

Maybe this is what he had been feeling – the lead up to whatever moment this was. The way Shouta really took the time to look at him, not through him. Like he was paying attention.

Maybe…

Hizashi held his oversized bao in both hands and looked forward. It suddenly didn’t feel like such a bad idea to speak. To say whatever it was that he was going to say, because for Shouta, it would always be okay…

Didn’t make him feel any more at ease, not with the stupid thought in his head that maybe he was misreading whatever today was. Who knows, maybe Shouta always paid attention to him like this? And sure, the hands thing… that was new, but maybe Shouta just really likes holding hands but he needs to be comfortable with the person, and now after three years he’s finally comfortable with Hizashi?

If you’re gonna say something…

“Hey,” he started.

Say it now.

“I’m having a really good time.”

He doesn’t take his wide, blown-out eyes from the festival. It was dark enough that every lantern stood out like little stars, and the breeze was so nice…

“If you want… we can, um, do this again. I’ll find another festival, but I can’t guarantee it’ll be free this time, but I’ll try! And I’ll see if I can sneak in some home made food too so we can spend more money on like, cute stuff from the merchants. I saw this plush down there, actually, and it was a cat , so maybe –”

No, Hizashi wasn’t a timid person – but, still , it was probably for the best that Shouta was the first one to move. He grabbed Hizashi’s hand, urging it away from the bao so that he could hold it again.

He’d pulled his attention to the forefront, and his eyes to finally meet his, and he realized that Shouta had moved so much closer…

The dark of his eyes was so close, and he was smiling …

“You talk a lot when you’re nervous.”

There wasn’t a way to hide the flush, so Hizashi looked down, feeling too open. “I’m sorry…”

He couldn’t see his eyes, but he could see his smile. “I like it, though.”

“What about if I say I like you... Will you still like it?”

Please…!

Shouta didn’t leave him any time to doubt.

“It makes it a lot easier… for me to say I like you, too… yeah, I’d like it…”

Hizashi’s entire body was fireworks – explosions and exclamations and that same buzzing energy that gripped him every time he thought of Shouta. He grinned, and looked up to see Shouta was just as embarrassed and flustered as he was.

He’d normally have to look away, but he assumed he had permission now, and…

God you’re so pretty…

His eyes, his eyelashes, the way his eyes bend against his smile and how he’d never seen him smile like this before…

Hizashi abandoned the bao in his lap and pushed away the hair that framed his face, slowly, not sure if it was too much to hold his face –

“I’m – I’m sorry, can I?”

Shouta nodded. “And you can kiss me too, in case you weren’t sure…”

That was all the reason he needed.

He’d had so many reasons, so many countless reasons he loved him...

He cupped his jaw, still acutely aware of the way Shouta was still holding on to his hand in the grass –

It was cold, that was true, but right now he was warm with nerves and excitement and love , and he leaned in –

His breath, so warm –

His lips, so soft –

And neither of them were particularly experienced or daring, so after a few seconds when he finally parted their lips just a bit, they pulled away, just enough to speak.

“Mmm, you taste like bao,” he said, and then wished someone was there in his brain to stop whatever dumb shit was trying to get out.

Shouta just laughed. “So do you.”

The rest of their night was spent on that hill, kissing and talking and, eventually, finishing their food. When they finally left, Hizashi found that plush cat at the vendor near the entrance of the park and gave it to Shouta. Shouta blushed, and Hizashi glowed with comfortable warmth, glad that he can now get cute things for his boyfriend.

#erasermic #yamada hizashi #aizawa shouta #aizawa #writing #oneshot #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #long post #xpost #prompted for fluff and autumn...#my discord server is so nice ahhh #fluff

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