#anyway thanks @anyone who reads this and my mutuals in general lol

[todayisafridaynight]

THIS IS GONNA SOUND SO MEAN BUT WHY DO U LIKE RYO AOKI/MASATO

masato hot

[milkbreadtoast]

someone called me 1 of their fav twsb artists....🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

[literaryavenger]

New Year's Eve

Summary: A game of two truths and a lie reveals to the team a fact about the you that Bucky can’t seem to stop thinking about.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Female Reader

Warnings: Minimal use of Y/N. Language 'cause why not. A lot of fluff. My poor attempts at being funny. Mutual pining, idiots in love. Self-deprecating thoughts.

Word Count: 3.2K

A/N: Happy New Year's Eve! Thanks for all the messages when I was sick, I'm finally feeling better and I'm negative for Covid! I really wanted to post something for New Year's Eve and this came from a fever dream I had when I was sick, lol. I hope it's any good and someone enjoys it! A particular thank you to @ordelixx for helping me with this story!💘I've only started posting here about a month and a half but I'm really enjoying it and feeling more and more comfortable in my writing. I hope I'm also getting better at it. Anyway, I have big plans for the New Year that I hope you'll enjoy! This year hasn't been great for me, but I'm planning on working harder than ever to make sure the next one is a year I can be proud of. I hope you guys have a nice last day of 2023 and an amazing start of 2024! Love you all.💘

Masterlist

“Ok, your turn, Kill Bill. Two truths and a lie, go.” Tony says, referring to the fact that you fight with swords, making you roll your eyes before you join in on the laughter.

“Ok, uhm...” you try not to look at anyone so you don’t give away the answer “I have a teddy bear that I sleep with, I have bungee jumped from the top of the tower and I’ve never had a New Year’s kiss.”

You look back up to the room and wait for their guesses.

It’s a Friday night and the people that remained in the Tower for the holidays decided to have a little game night.

Every year the same people stay around, having nowhere in particular to go, and spend Christmas together. 

Clint and Scott usually spend this time with their families, this year Thor decided to go to New Asgard with Bruce and Loki to visit Val and Korg, and Peter decided to spend it with aunt May and Happy.

You usually alternate between going to visit your family and staying in the tower each year, and this one was your turn to go to your first home.

You came back the day after Christmas, never being one to miss Tony’s New Year’s Eve party that’s gonna happen in two days now.

“Well, we know she has a teddy bear.” Wanda says.

“Do we know that?” Tony turns to you, narrowing his eyes. “Do you have one?”

“Yes, she does, we’ve seen it” Natasha answers for you while you glance at Bucky, praying he doesn’t put together that they’re talking about the teddy bear he gifted you for Valentine’s Day this year along with flowers. 

Natasha and Wanda were more happy than you when you told them, sustaining that he did it because he liked you until you pointed out that he gave flowers to them too, because he’s sweet and a gentleman and that’s just who he is.

They wouldn’t let up on the fact that neither of them got a teddy bear though, and you would have agreed with them but Bucky never really did anything else about it so you decided to let it go and not read too much into it.

You're brought back to the present by Tony.

“Ok, so she has one. Then it’s gotta be the New Year’s kiss, everyone has had one at least once in their life,” he was looking at your reaction very closely while talking, but you did your best to keep an easy smile and not give anything away.

“Even Captain Virgin over there had one last year.” he adds vaguely waving towards Steve’s general direction. 

You crack at the nickname and at the undignified sound Steve made while blushing and glancing at Nat that shared that kiss with him.

“Tony, there’s no way that she bungee jumped from the roof without us knowing, that’s gotta be the lie.” Sam interjects, also watching you closely for any signs of a reaction that you manage not to give.

“Alright, just take your guesses, people.” You say to the group.

“New Year’s Kiss.” Tony all but yelled, Natasha and Wanda agreeing with him.

“Bungee jump.” Sam says and Steve and Bucky agree, then they all seem to hold their breath as they wait for your answer.

It’s not a surprise that even these stupid little games cause a lot of competition amongst the team.

“Neither.”-you finally said and let out a laugh when they all groan in annoyance while taking their shots for guessing wrong.

“WAIT- you bungee jumped off the ROOF? When?!” Steve seems more concerned than anything.

“Well, you know a few months ago when we happened to all be on different missions at the same time?” They nod, not knowing where you're going with this “Clint and I came back first from ours, we were bored and there was no one around to stop us from doing anything stupid so…” you trail off, shrugging while laughing. 

Steve looks shocked, Sam is laughing his ass off while Tony immediately goes to look for the security footage.

They all cheered while watching you throw yourself off the roof, Clint's yells and laughter could be heard, and then Steve shakes his head while joining you in the laughter when you see Clint take his turn and scream like a little girl while you fall to the ground laughing on the video. 

Once you all composed yourselves, Tony pokes Wanda’s arm “I thought you said she had a teddy bear.” he's looking at her like she brought him on a treasure hunt and then betrayed him and left him for dead on a deserted island.

“She does! She got it from-” you interrupt her before she can finish the sentence, blushing a little and avoiding Bucky’s eyes.

“I do have a teddy bear, I just don’t sleep with it.” you say, shrugging.

“Oh, come on, that’s cheating!” Natasha whines.

“It’s really not, just because I do have one it doesn’t mean I didn’t tell a lie about it” you laugh at her pout.

“Wait a minute, so you’ve never had a New Year’s kiss?” Tony looks at you like you suddenly grew two heads.

“It’s not a big deal. Funny thing is, I have had boyfriends during New Year’s Eve, I just never happen to spend the day with them.” you say absentmindedly while thinking back at all the parties you’ve been to over the years to celebrate the new year.

“Really?” it's so quiet you almost missed it, your eyes snapping up to meet Bucky’s that were already looking at you.

“Is that so hard to believe?” The room seems to go quiet as everybody looks at you two, but you're too focused on each other to notice.

“I didn’t- I mean…” his cheeks started to turn a little pink as he seemed to have trouble finishing his sentence “It’s just you’re very pretty, who wouldn’t want to kiss you?”

You didn’t know what to say to that, you start blushing too while opening and closing your mouth a couple of times, looking like a damn fish.

You settle for a quiet ‘thank you’ with a smile that he shyly returns, neither of you noticing the glances passed by everyone else.

The whole team is convinced that there’s something between you and Bucky, but both of you always deny it and don’t seem to read too much into each other’s actions, always dismissing the glances and lingering touches as friendly affection even though you’re not really that close.

But really what else could it be?

The team lets the moment end and the game goes on, everyone keeps drinking and having fun until it gets really late and you all decide to call it a night.

Bucky goes to his bedroom and gets ready for sleep but he can’t seem to focus on anything else but you.

He really doesn’t understand how can anybody see your pretty self when you’ve just woken up, no makeup and your eyes full of sleep and not want to kiss you, let alone when you are all dolled up in a pretty golden dresses like you do every New Year’s. 

Every year it gets harder for him not to just grab you and kiss you, hell every day is pretty much torture to see you around the Compound and not get to be with you the way he wants to.

But he has to keep his hands to himself because there’s no way you could actually like him like that. 

He’s even tried to drop hints here and there like giving you the teddy bear for Valentine’s Day but, except for the cute shade of pink that your face turned, you still didn’t seem all that interested.

Still, that didn’t stop him from thinking what it would be like if you did like him and fantasize about being your first New Year’s kiss and maybe even your last first kiss.

At the same time you were in your own room getting ready for bed while your own thoughts kept going back to the moment you shared with Bucky in the living room. 

You didn’t know if you were more embarrassed because you actually told the team you’ve never had a kiss on New Year’s Eve or happy because Bucky called you pretty.

If it was anyone else you wouldn’t even think twice about it, but coming from him it just felt like you were being complimented for the first time ever. 

Everytime you thought about it you felt all warm and fuzzy inside, and at this point the moment was pretty much on loop in your mind.

The more you think about it the more you feel your face heat up, sleep not coming easily as you slip into Bucky filled dreams.

The next day everybody’s hanging out in the living room, most of them nursing a hangover from last night. You get ready for a last minute shopping trip to try and find a new dress for New Year’s Eve.

When you get to the living room you see Steve grinning at a disgruntled Tony, Wanda, Sam and Natasha who are obviously very hangover and nowhere near as amused as the blonde supersoldier. 

Bucky’s attention is on you as soon as you're in his field of vision and no one fails to notice it, except you of course, your own attention on Wanda and Natasha sprawled on the couch.

“Well, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to come shopping with me,” you start watching from one to the other, as amused as Steve at everyone’s inability to contain themselves when drinking. “but I don’t think that’s happening.” 

“Bite me, YLN.” Is all Nat says.

Wanda, on the other hand, is a little gentler. “I can come with you, if you want.” she says sweetly.

“That’s okay, Wands.” you smile at her “just rest and drink lots of water.”

You turn around, saying bye to everyone and making your way out. As soon as the doors of the elevator close, everyone turns to Bucky that's not even pretending not to be staring anymore.

Not that anyone could ignore the longing look on Bucky’s face as he watches you walk away.

“Buck,” Steve starts talking, glancing at everyone before setting his gaze back on his best friend. “we need to talk.”

“Okay…” he slowly drags out, unsure if he even wants Steve to keep going.

“Well, we’ve been noticing some things lately…” He’s unsure of how to say this. “Between you and Y/N.”

Bucky’s cheeks start to turn a slight shade of pink, but he���s still not sure where Steve’s going with this so he says nothing.

“So we thought” he gestures around at everybody. “that maybe we should-”

“We know you like her, and we want to help you get with her.” Tony interrupts Steve, quickly getting to the point.

At Steve’s glare, Tony merely raises his hands in surrender saying, “Listen, Capsicle, I’m way too hungover to take the panoramic route. Let’s just get this over with.”

“Yeah, Stark’s right.” Sam says, turning Bucky whose face is fully red now. “You have a weak ass game, man. Let us help you.”

They all look at the brunette supersoldier while waiting for his answer. He chews on his lip while looking at the expectant faces of his friends, before letting out a deep sigh.

“How would you even help me?” He says quietly, neither accepting nor denying their help just yet.

“Well, we know Y/N,” Wanda says.

“Yeah, we can tell you what turns her on.” Natasha smirked, before Wanda flicks her ear making her let out an ‘ow’ with a slight pout.

“What she means is,” she glares at Natasha “we can tell you what she likes, you know. Maybe help you get closer to her.”

Bucky shakes his head lightly “This is not a good idea. And it doesn’t even matter if she doesn’t like me.”

Wanda and Natasha seem to have a silent conversation, ending with Natasha raising her eyebrow at Wanda and Wanda just sighing with a soft ‘fine’.

“She does like you.” Wanda turns back to Bucky.

“She’s just convinced that you don’t like her like that.” Natasha says with a roll of her eyes.

Bucky still wasn’t completely convinced, but he agreed nonetheless. Maybe it was the glimmer of hope the girls gave him, but if there was even the slightest chance you could actually like him, he owed it to himself to try. 

So he let the team make a plan to get you guys together, hoping to god he wouldn’t come to regret it.

You come home a few hours later, super excited to have found the perfect dress for the party the next night.

Bucky thought you were just so cute, all smiles and giggles.

Wanda and Nat talked you into having the last girls night of the year, although it didn’t really take much convincing.

And so the plan begins.

You’re relaxing on your bed, Wanda lying next to you, your head on her lap, and Nat sprawled on the love seat near the window close to your bed.

You’re wearing bathrobes, sheet masks on your faces as you watch a cheesy romcom that you’re so embarrassingly into you don’t even notice the girls exchange a look and nod at each other.

Wanda clears her throat and then begins talking, as casually as she can. “So, how come you never told us you never had a New Year’s kiss?”

They had to approach the subject somehow, right?

“I don’t know,” you say absentmindedly and then shrug, your attention still on the Tv. “didn’t think it was important.” 

“Sure it isn’t.” Nat said, and her tone took your attention away from the movie for the first time since it started.

“What’s that supposed to mean, Tasha?” she simply shrugs, an innocent look in the face.

“It doesn’t mean anything” she says, her attention seemingly on the movie “I mean, if it doesn’t bother you, it doesn’t bother me.”

“Why would it bother me?” you frown, you don't understand what's so weird about this.

“Well, some people might find it a little…” Wanda trails off.

“Sad?” Natasha ends for her.

“It’s not like I’ve never kissed anyone.” you're starting to get a little defensive.

“We know that, sweetie.” Wanda coos, stroking your hair while you look up at her.

“We really didn’t mean anything by it.” Natasha ends, giving you an apologetic look.

“Yeah, whatever.” is all you say, and you turn your eyes back to the tv, your attention nowhere near it.

Natasha and Wanda can basically hear the gears turn in your head and give each other one last glance. 

Part one of the plan is complete.

The next day goes through like usual, the team spending basically the whole morning together.

It’s a tradition, having the last breakfast of the year together, watching the last movie, having the last lunch and so on. Doing all the lasts together.

It’s silly, but it’s a tradition you've all come to be very fond of. 

The afternoon comes and you and the girls spend it getting ready for the party, last night’s conversation almost forgotten.

Almost.

As you got to the party the music was deafening before you even stepped out of the elevator and, once you did, you were immediately immersed in a sea of perfume and cologne and, like every other Stark party extravaganza, you didn’t know about 98% of the people there. 

You quickly find the team, as outgoing as most of them are, you usually spend most of the night together because it’s the last night of the year, last party and, again, it's your tradition.

You talk, you joke, you laugh but the more you drink the more you keep thinking about your conversation with the girls last night.

Was it really that sad that you’ve never started a new year with a kiss?

Midnight came sooner than you would’ve liked and your teammates decide to ask you a sobering question.

“So, who are you kissing?” Tony asks very casually.

You turn around confused, the team’s eyes all on you. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, nobody told you?” Sam says, looking around him “We’re all kissing someone tonight.”

“I- You- What?” you glance towards Bucky so quickly he almost thought he imagined it.

“Well, Romanoff is kissing Rogers, I’m obviously kissing Pepper and Wanda is kissing Wilson.” Tony said, before specifying while pointing at the last two “As friends, obviously.”

“So, you’re all kissing someone?” You look at everyone except the one person you actually want to look at.

Something inside of you just believes that he would nod too and a beautiful woman that you could never compare to would appear at his side.

“Well,” Steve starts. “not all of us…”

He trails off and, following his gaze, you land on the very pair of blue eyes you were trying to avoid.

Suddenly everyone else scatters and it was just you and Bucky. You don't know what to say, but you feel like you can't look away from him now.

What the hell is happening to you?

You’re talking before you can even stop yourself “You know, we could also kiss. As friends.” you add, realizing what you just said, your eyes wide with your own surprise.

He’s about to say something, but you don’t give him a chance to get a sound out before you’re backtracking so fast you might actually fall out the window.

“You don’t have to. Obviously. It’s not like I’d make you.” you chuckled awkwardly, but you can’t stop yourself from rambling “Unless you wanted to. But why would you want to? It’s not like you’re missing anything. I’m not anything special.”

You can hear the countdown starting, but it sounds distant to your ears as your heart pounds faster. “I mean, I’m sure you’re a good kisser. Why wouldn’t you be? Not that you’re like a lady’s man.”

Bucky glances around him, the team giving him encouraging looks as they near zero and you just keep going “But like you were, you know. Not that it’s a bad thi-”

You're thankfully interrupted abruptly by Bucky’s lips on yours just as everyone yells ‘Happy New Year’ and gold and black confetti starts falling down on you.

You can't even begin to comprehend what's happening but your body does, kissing him back almost immediately.

It feels like forever and also too soon when he pulls away, you can't even hearing the chaos around you anymore.

All that exists is you and Bucky and his eyes and his arms around your waist and yours around his neck and his lips that you wanted to kiss again and kiss forever and never stop.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that” he says after a few seconds. Or maybe days. Weeks? Hours? It doesn’t matter.

All that matters is the bright smile he gives you when you say “Me too.”

He kisses you again, but this time the spell is broken by the team’s whistles and cheers. 

When you pull away you’re both blushing a little, you glance around you and see all the smug faces of the idiots you love to death, Bucky’s attention never leaving you.

“And by the way,” Bucky says, gaining your attention once more. “you have more qualities than you think,” he then pointed at your chest “You have this.”

You looked down to where he was pointing before saying “I do have great tits, yes.”

When you looked back at him he was blushing even harder and looked like he was having a hard time maintaining eye contact, while you were more relaxed now that the kiss took away all the awkwardness, but trying hard not to laugh. 

“... I meant heart” he said after a few moments of silence.

“Either or.” you answered, shrugging and when you heard the snickers of the team around you, you couldn’t help but join them, followed by a still blushing Bucky.

Yep, this year is definitely gonna be an interesting one.

[smileposting]

previous anon, thank u for not brushing it off as bait since it was a genuine question. the "cartoony" aspect of it is what threw me off, since i couldn't tell if the message was supposed to be "be cautious of what leads to fascism/misinformation is a dangerous tool" and raking fascism seriously vs "friendship and communication are incredibly important" since imo those are two very different themes to tackle with the same character. i very much appreciate u taking the time to answer the question, ur explanation makes a lot of sense and i hope my question hadnt been too jarring

(context)

it's no trouble at all! thank you for giving me an excuse to prove that i actually did pay attention to this game outside of thesclack yaoi and BBWs lol

as for your primary concern - i'd argue that it could very easily be both, but of course it's a VERY delicate balancing act lol. i don't fault anyone who was thrown off by it. part of the reason it works for me is that inspekta feels very much like - not the Originator of all fascist/fascist-adjacent rhetoric within the world of great god grove (earth itself included) but the latest and biggest sucker to fall for it. he came from what's implied to be pretty fucking rough conditions and he never really unpacked any of the effects that might have had on him or whether his eventual success really Justified those initial conditions. and that's before he ascended to godhood in a culture that seems to treat godhood and humanity as mutually exclusive despite tons of evidence to the contrary*. so when his work pays off and he becomes one of said culture's Primary Mythological Figures, his reaction to the grove being a generally pleasant and compassionate place free of many (but not all) of the world's societal ills - one that came to be that way over centuries of hard work, as implied by bauhauzzo - is not "wow, a better world is possible! i should help see this through to the very end" but "oh wow, these guys are soft, huh? good thing i came into the picture when i did! i know what it's like to actually work to achieve something :)"

...that's how it reads to me, anyway. i apologies if this response is a little too speculation-heavy to really explain things.

*the contrary being that while a god is no longer Physically human, they are still very much Mentally human. i imagine this aspect of Grove Culture changes to accommodate this reality postcanon along with Many Other Things, but i digress.

[vilz]

hello obviously there isn't anything i can really do to control this (unfortunately i deleted a bunch of posts BEFORE turning off reblogs on them) but i would prefer that people did not circulate my posts from this blog any more... i appreciate that people are kind to me about my art, but that is just my request i suppose. this blog is unprivated now, and if you'd like to see what is still up you can look at them here. my ask box is also open but i will not be making any art posts here from now on. here is a little preemptive faq:

why did you leave?

i didn't feel comfortable or happy posting on this blog any more!

do you still make art? do you post it somewhere else?

yes. but i've been pulling away from posting very much online, and the things i'm interested in drawing nowadays are generally more private, so i won't be directing anyone there or anything. i don't consider my new blog to be a continuation of this one.

i know your new blog!

that isn't really that surprising since i didn't honestly put great effort into concealing it or anything. we are probably not friends, so i hold no sway over you, but i would still prefer you did not share it or treat me as if i am still "vilz who posts fnaf art". i'm just a whatever blogger who blogs about whatever things. also to be frank i do not think my new blog has anything that interesting for people who followed for the kind of art i used to post here. this is not an invitation to say "it is interesting!".

we are friends!

if we have not been in direct, mutual conversations i highly doubt that. i'm sorry if that hurts anyone's feelings.

why did you delete all your self ship art?

people seem to enjoy my self ship art a lot, which is very flattering, but i don't want people to be looking at them any more. i realize that they are still rebloggable and are still circulating around, which is nobody's fault but my own, but i would prefer they were not shared any more. i can't really do anything about it and i also don't blame anyone for reblogging those posts since it's obviously not something they would know, but yeah.

i saw your art on pinterest!

i did not and do not consent to my works being put on pinterest. the art from "vilz" has not been uploaded by me to any other website besides tumblr. if someone is posting my art from here on a different platform, they are doing so without permission.

i saw you on magma!

i still join magma boards sometimes lol. it's a fun site.

what about your ocs?

they are still my ocs. sometimes i still draw them. currently, i do not have any plans of posting my oc art online ever again. i would prefer that people did not reblog the oc art i have posted to this blog.

what about your fics?

all of my fics are still up on ao3 anonymously. they are: small mercies obscura floriography baying of lambs scrape bitch, bastard, bullshit almost human a dream, recurring countdown i'm very flattered and happy that people have left kind comments on these. thank you very much for reading the words of an amateur and for sharing an experience with me.

are you going to finish your uncompleted fics?

i would really like to say yes, because i care a great deal about aspects of them, but it's looking pretty unlikely. i lost all my files (and my calmlywriter key !!! always save your emails and receipts, everyone!!!) and also it's hard to feel motivated about them now. i guess i will leave this up in the air just to soothe my own feelings but in reality the answer is Probably Not.

are you going to post new fics?

i might, because i've been in a writing mood lately, but please don't expect anything. if i do, they will be anonymous on ao3. i will not post about them here or on any other blog.

i really liked your posts and blog!

thank you. i'm glad that people could feel that way about the things i made and thought about stuff i care about. irregardless, i would prefer that people did not share my old posts from this blog.

i will do it anyway.

i cannot stop you, so there isn't really any point in pleading. i just thought i'd make a little info post for people who are inquiring. after this, there won't be any "posts" from me. if there are relevant questions or messages i might reply to them or just update this post.

thank you for reading and for enjoying my blog. goodbye !!!

[dunetevenn]

Intro Post

Hi, I'm Dune

(also goes by Tevenn or Stain, you pick)

I'm a traditional artist who loves selfshipping.

I'm just chilling in my corner tbh, not interacting much most of the time, but feel free to start a tchat if you feel like it (don't garantee I'll answer in the minute tho, my inner batteries are often low)

I have other blogs, but this is my main. If you want no selfship stuff you can check @dunetevennartsncrafts (it also got a carrd with all of my links for other accounts in other places)

I'm open for Commissions (I'll put a link for the infos at the end) and Art Trades (always open for mutuals) !!

Here's a few infos that can be useful here:

I'm non-sharing, but I'm still okay with interactions from people with doubles, as long as it respects my boundaries :

Please don't use my personal art to project/relate your feelings on an f/o we share (I sometimes make general f/o posts for that, please use those instead)

Please don't try to show me romantic ships involving my beloveds (Family/Friend ships are fine!!)

While I'm fine, even happy with interactions from doubles and fans of the characters I'm shipping with, please don't take it personally if I am not returning the attention.

While my love for my fictional beloveds stays in me, my focus can shift without warnings. So if you're following me for one interest in particular... whoops. Nah seriously I can spend months being super invested on one f/o and switching to an other for a week, it's totally random. Really I don't recommend following me if you only want content about a specific character :/

This is not a fandom blog!!

And lastly, this place is not friendly to anyone shipping adult x child, incest or zoophile stuff. You'll get blocked anyway if you try to follow me.

-------------------------------------------------------

Links:

Carrd page for f/o and s/i list + some ship tags to block if you want :

And my commission sheet :

Also, some general tags (for specific ship tags, see my carrd):

#the pile of sand is talking (for everytime I open my mouth about anything)

#dune tevenn (I sign my posts with this)

#dunetevenn ship (I sign my selfship posts with it)

That's all, if you stayed, thank you for reading!! And if you decide to follow, I hope you'll like my silly drawings of me kissing fictional men lol

[krash-and-co]

hey krash, i wanted to reach out and say that i'm so sorry that you got such a hurtful reaction from one of the l&co servers for speaking up about something that genuinely needed to be addressed. i won't badmouth anyone in particular but this is not the first time this fandom has dogpiled someone over a misunderstanding, and when it happened to me i had severe anxiety over it for about a week even after it was resolved, and eventually left because of it. it left a pretty bad taste in my mouth for the fandom in general, so i mostly just stick to my small group of mutuals now lol. i wish this fandom truly was different from other fandoms, but this kind of thing is unfortunately inevitable once something reaches a certain level of popularity. but that certainly doesn't make it okay, and you didn't do anything to deserve the reaction you got. i hope you can feel peace about it soon, and i'm sorry again that it happened at all. 🫂

(please don't feel pressured to answer this if you'd rather the matter be left alone, i totally understand. i just wanted to send you an ask because i didn't know if you're comfortable with dms.)

hi im so sorry i forgot to answer!!! thank you so much this means so much to me. 💙💙💙 i read this for the first time when i was feeling pretty attacked and it really cheered me up <3

hmm other people have been telling me about how they got attacked in this fandom too. and maybe this shouldn't have surprised me as much as it did. but it's something fans never talk about and claim doesn’t exist, so i thought it didn’t. i was horribly fooled lol. as, uh, i am about to rant about; do you mind? u don’t have to read it, i won’t be offended, but halfway thru answering this ask it turned into a rant i wanted to release into the world lol, so sorry about that 😭😭😭

very important disclaimer!!! this is NOT about everyone. ABSOLUTELY NOT. most of you are absolutely amazing people, and i assure you if ur worried this is about you, it’s prob not lol

ANYWAYS!!!

im kind of feeling i was betrayed?? ig? i rlly believed everyone was so kind, and look what i know now. it genuinely seems like people are gaslighting themselves. how else do they only see our ‘harm?’ yeah, our fandom is known for being passionate, but saying we’re known for kindness is starting to make me sick. maybe we were, i know a lot of us still are, but throwing that out there in the middle of your hypocritical hate post seems like justification for the shit things people have been saying. you can say no wrong so long as you’re here. only people who don’t agree with you. so yeah, fuck krash and ljc and anyone else who doesn't agree!!! that totally shows how kind you are and how much you loved the fandom before we messed it up. nobodys visibly mad, cuz we're too scared to say shit!!!

i’ve seen too many examples of the contrary from the “victims,” wailing about how cruel we are the second they disagree with someone. (in a highly hypocritical manner, at that.) “everyone was so happy before this!” no, they weren’t, that’s why i brought it up. “stop bringing hate to this fandom! now let me fucking berate you!” do you even hear yourself? “nobody even cared before, we were all content!” we weren’t all content, we were just silent. it sometimes looks the same.

someone even declared they were leaving the fandom because ‘one person wanted to stop show saving efforts entirely because it traumatized them, and this is no longer a safe place.’ like, what? where did you even get that? for one, there were at least two of us posting together, and that’s just barely knowing anything about what’s happening. thats not even touching on how one of us (idk who the op of that post was talking about, it’s a 50/50 lol) made the fandom an unsafe place for our personal gain. what?

hella kind. hella safe on their part.

another said they saw only old fans agreeing about this so it’s just us being pissed about change. it’s us hating the show. me and ljc being upset about not being the only “big blogs” any more. our fandom is only for the elite, etc. fuck us. yet ljc is getting blackmailed. we’re getting hate replies. friends that try and help get attacked. misinformation spread. how did that even happen? we never once tried to hurt anyone; thank you to those who understand.

but to some, WE’RE the ones in the wrong.

do they SEE themselves? how hypocritical all of this is? or are their heads that far up in the ass of their petition and beloved fake idea of this fandom that they care about more than all of us?

now, this is where i add another “not everyone” message. not everyone is like this, this is not me saying i hate the petition or people who support it. hell, i signed the petition. twice. and once more from my mothers email.

i don’t regret the i love you posts i made, because i still do love this fandom, i am still absolutely here for the rest of yall. but DAMN if we weren’t hiding something under happy Save The Show, I Love Locknation! messages. perfectly smiling faces until they bite. i was surprised to see how many people did.

as if our previous problems weren’t enough, now it turned into this lol. no, that’s a lie, it didn’t. it already was, and i HATE THAT.

ig im kinda spoiled, i never really experienced hate like this from this fandom before. but now i know it happened BEFORE too, and that just pisses me off. it hurts coming from a group who says they love us. genuinely wacko (not the fun kind) behavior :[

i know this isn’t everyone’s experience, but it is mine, and enough others to make me wanna say this. and this is ofc me and @lucy-j-carlyle 's brand of hate, not yours. but it does happen and the constant chant that IT DOESN'T IT DOESNT IT DOESN'T isn't helping anyone. and now I know.

idk what im even saying anymore lol, sorry for ranting. what i mean to say is, thank you, and i wish things were better. and i love you kind people. im happy it’s most of you.

[crehador]

for asks, 5, 11 and 30

for 11, I mean longest maybe not time wise, but which daily stumped you the most overall? maybe an idea took a while to finalize but after that it was fast to write?

thank youuu for the ask! (っ˘ω˘ς )

5. what work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

honestly i think i will have to go with the one with the clones for this one because it was just. such a ridiculous crackpot fever dream idea that spiraled wildly out of control all thanks to the encouragement of my lovely horny regulars

i definitely didn't expect to spend as much time as i have with the clones (and would have probably tackled their story in a different format if i had) and i probably wouldn't have if not for the feedback! so thank you to everyone who has been following along with that hot mess lmao

ALSO HELLO ARKNIGHTS AU?! i mean that didn't get a ton of feedback or anything but it definitely got more than i expected, which was none. it is such a niche fusion that honestly i didn't expect anyone to like... read it while also knowing what arknights is, so i was thrilled to see you there lol and i want to write more of it one day!! snow leopard samatoki distant cousin of the silverash clan my beloved

11. what work took you the longest to write?

so whenever i sit down to start a daily, i create a new page in scrivener and title the page with the number. so if i'm working on daily 123 for example i'll title it "123." then start writing and add a more descriptive tag to the title after it's complete

but if i start writing something and don't finish it on the same day, i'll often just add another page above it and make that the new 123 without changing the previous one...

which is basically to say sometimes, when one idea stumps me for a while, my numbering system ends up looking like 156, 157, 158, 159, 123 lmao

anyway all this is to say, this has definitely happened a few times throughout the year, where one number just kept getting pushed down and down. i can't say for sure which one took the absolute longest

BUT ONE THAT I KNOW took a heinously long time was the prince/pirate request from a beloved mutual! i wanted to write that like as soon as the prompt came in because prince/pirate! what could be better!!

it wound up taking months, i think. (once again sincerest apologies dear mutual who had to wait. for. months.) i went through a whole bunch of different ideas, i think largely because each one wanted to be something bigger than a daily. something longer, more plotty, more substantial

(and so there may be at least one prince/pirate au coming next year lol)

so to answer the actual question here, it might have been that one, but more broadly speaking when a daily took a long time it wasn't usually for lack of interest in the idea, it was usually just Too Ambitious ideas that got me hung up

30. biggest surprise while writing this year?

honestly just... the fact that i actually did it. one fic a day. for samaichi/ichisama. every day. FOR A WHOLE YEAR. i mean okay the year is not quite over yet and i don't want to jinx it but it's pretty much mid-december already and i haven't missed a day?!

like. i had covid for the first time this year. and i didn't miss a day. not even god could stop me at this point. i'm fine. i'm normal

i've done "write every day" challenges before and even challenged myself to write and post every day before this at one point, but my longest streak lasted 50 days. and i'm coming up on 350 now so... yeah. definitely a surprise and a pleasant one at that lol

in terms of specific works... i'm a little surprised by my whole, like. high school au fugue state from earlier this year. where i committed to writing high school aus only for the entire duration of the samaichi high school au event in arb (which wound up being even more samaichi than it originally seemed WHAT DO YOU MEANNNNNN IT WAS ICHIRO'S DREAM ahem. anyway)

like i have nothing against high school au and i find it generally cute and occasionally fun to write, but i don't think i would say it's one of my top favorites. so a bit of a surprise that i was able to keep it up, and i remember having a ton of fun with it too! yes i cheated on occasion and had them as teachers instead of students BUT IT WAS STILL IN A HIGH SCHOOL SO. i say it counts lol

ao3 wrapped asks

[fuckhouse2theelectricboogaloo]

i joined the rpc when i was 12, and ive been online since i was 9. obviously i lied about my age and i was… basically 13 for four years LOL. no one ever caught me tho because even when i was 10 people thought i was 17 (not good. not a good thing at all. 10 year old me thought i was so cool for it tho.)

i personally wouldnt really ever consider lying about being older than i am now tbh. idk. i wouldn't do it </3 if someone doesnt want me in their space, i dont want to be there. its as simple as that. that's why i have so many 18+ blogs blocked on my rp acc. it just makes it easier (and also some people with minors dni in their rules really love following me. good to know that some people in the rpc cant mcfucking read. atp i just decided 2 put IM 15!!! in big fucking font on my rules page)

however....................................... i do think it is unfortunate that the rpc on tumblr seemingly started out with mostly like. teenagers. and then just kinda. grew up. obvi people grow up and stuff and i don't fault any adults not wanting to interact with minors, that is NOT what im saying. i actually think its a very good thing, especially because. clearly. a lot of adults don't remember what it was like to be a teenager on the internet (or being a teenager in general) or don't know what's appropriate to say and whats not appropriate to say to teenagers and shit (people have sent me some Crazy Stuff in the past let me tell u).

but its sad. still. all the people my age are either too scared to rp on here or they're too busy roleplaying with their shitty ai chatbots. i think i have maybe one mutual on my rp blog who's around my age. its so obnoxious when i see people go "MINORS SHOULDNT BE IN THE RPC AT ALL!!! MINORS!!!! I HATE MINORS!!!" like......... weren't you literally on here at like 14.... don't give me that dawg. shut up and mind ur business... goddamn... take ur meds, gramps.... also they arent even here anyways... so why r u bitching and moaning

so i get people who fake their age. i really do get it. and it sucks that people treat people who do it as less than literal scum. my regards 2 anyone whos gotten fr death threats over dumb shit like that (like. impossiblecrusadekitten. banger username LOL) its not a good thing to do, but i don't think it warrants a witch hunt. like fr ur doing too much at that point.

dear tumblr roleplayers, stop making teenagers fr suicidal... thank you....

*sick ass outro music*

Posting as is

[babacontainsmultitudes]

15 Questions for 15 People

@locke-n-k3y thanks for the tag :] ah hm tbh I feel like my answers for these might be a bit boring but let's see...

1. Are you named after anyone?

Yes! (Referring to my legal name- which I still use), I was named after a character from the soap opera "General Hospital" haha.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Last week lol- which was... The first time in a couple months? It was nice but not enough.

3. Do you have kids?

Absolutely not. Never lol.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

Never did any sports outside of gym class! Not formally, anyways. I do workout (mostly strength/weight training) fairly regularly... But I don't think that really counts here lol. :0 Been thinking a lot lately about picking up boxing.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Yup! irl I often go for a sort of deadpan delivery of my sarcasm- what I've learned from other people is that I'm a little too good at that (I sometimes say very ridiculous things very convincingly). I won't usually specify unprompted that I'm being sarcastic, but you're always welcome to ask. Not as sarcastic online in general, however.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Irl? Hmm. Hard to say. Maybe: eyes, voice, posture.

Online? Typing/texting style I suppose!

7. What's you're eye color?

Dark brown 👁

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Not mutually exclusive lol. But, happy endings. I don't "dislike" tragedies but I'm not actively drawn to them either.

9. Any talents?

HM. I mean obviously I have things I'm good at but I'm never quite sure what differentiates a "talent" from a "skill". I suppose a lot of friends have said something to the effect of me being "good at reading minds" haha- also "good at explaining things" which is debatable but sweet lol.

10. Where were you born?

Halifax! Which I feel fine saying cause I haven't lived there for a long time lol. A foggy fishing city that I miss even now.

11. What are your hobbies?

I guess a large chunk of what I do on this blog counts as hobbies? Writing (whether it's fiction or analysis or shitposts), drawing, audio clipping and editing apparently (though much of that I just keep to myself- same for drawing tbh). :] I've also gotten into making iron-on patches. Tabletop and video games for sure but... Neither as much as I'd like these days. I tend to collect a lot of things as well- most notably coins.

12. Do you have any pets?

I've had MANY pets of many different species- but currently just my cat Bok! I do tend to take care of my older sister's bunny a lot too though.

13. How tall are you?

5'4, which all my 6'0 friends love teasing me over 😒. I've been told that I "seem taller from the way [I] carry myself", however. (Despite everything, I'm actually fine with my height!)

14. Favorite subject in school?

When I was completing my bachelor's (in computer science) I was particularly drawn to graphics-related stuff! In highschool my fave was definitely drama haha (gee I miss it tbh).

15. What is your dream job?

I HAVE NO IDEA no idea and that's kind of my issue rn tbh. Plenty of things that seem interesting, but I don't think I'm the kind of person who could have the same job for my whole life, no matter how perfect it is. I'll presumably end up in something programming-related eventually, though it's not what I'm looking for now. OH OKAY ACTUALLY dream job? Probably doing video essays (or possibly let's plays) on Youtube haha.

15 PEOPLE IS A LOT OF PEOPLE TO TAG AND I ALWAYS FEEL SO SHY TAGGING PEOPLE IN GAMES and I have no idea who's been tagged already ahaha UM NO PRESSURE WHATSOEVER!!! @llumimoon @happi-tree @kaseyskat @abeinginsand @nolassolace @goldturnedgray @swiffin @insomaniiiac @meiwks @calamity-unlocked @coolfire333 @supremely-unsupervised @b1gwings @giraffeskull There! 15! Tried to get a few new people in there lol. But fr no stress!

[e77y]

relating to that vent, i getchu so bad. i feel like in general, the internet might worsen compulsions & obsession within ocd + etc. i have a similar feeling (wouldnt say identical cause i know u from tumblr n yaknow yaknow) that tells me everything i do needs to be 100% morally correct or [insert awful things] will happen to me or someone i love. and this is easier to deal with when you're offline, because there's a limit on the people that can get mad at you. half of the world won't get mad at you because only 0.00001% (or whatever) of the world knows you, yaknow. on the net, it feels like everyone who has an account knows you. your brain telly you anyone who has an account on here might see what you posted & they might be mad at you & they might make a callout post or whatever. even though they don't know you. which is a terrifying thought for many. i dont think youre alone in this, genuinely. and i feel it can be improved. some stuff that's helped me: - making separate accounts w private stuff (doesnt rly work on tumblr but like a private account on insta & etc etc) - rationalising thoughts (an example of this would be thinking: is it really likely many people will agree with someone being mad at me? or: how many people actually do see my posts? is that proportional to the amount of followers i have) - and talking ab it w friends. genuinely, the communication + processing of these thoughts & feelings is soo helpful. sending u soo much love <3 if u wanna chat a bit ab it you can dm me :) (ask can be published or responded 2 privately, whatever u prefer!)

Thank you so much for this message omg :’) ❤️❤️❤️❤️ So thoughtful. This made me tear up a little haha. I’m posting it here so I can look back at it later; hopefully that’s okay.

I’m really glad to hear other people feel the same way/have the same worry… like logically I know that it’s something a lot of people worry about, but idk; my brain has a way of convincing me I am the only person in the world who has done anything ‘bad’ ever LMAOO. So this was really nice to hear

Also I’m a very talkative person! Like I’m definitely an introvert, but I do like to talk about myself and my interests and my feelings etc. Especially when I have a forum (cough Tumblr) to post into the void 😭😭 So I guess that’s part of my issue; IRL, there are less people to be upset if I do/say something ‘bad’, and most of them are my close friends and know I don’t have bad intentions. But online, I walk on eggshells bc 1) strangers online DON’T know my intentions and 2) I just think my mutuals are really cool lol. So I don’t want to do/say anything ‘bad’ or even embarrassing in their presence yk? And online, their ‘presence’ comprises literally all the time w everything I post

I should probably make a more private account 😅 This one is kind of that (just bc it has far fewer followers than my other blog), and I have one on Instagram with like two people following it that I haven’t touched in a while, sooo maybe I will go back to that for more personal vents and whatnot 🫡 I try not to post anything TOO personal on Tumblr, anyway. I just also really like creating fan content, which sort of inherently puts me in a public space even if I don’t WANT to have an ‘audience’ (regardless of how small that audience is; ik there are people who look up to my writing, and that puts a lot of extra pressure on me, but I don’t want to stop writing, either…. Agh)

Idk this is probably overly personal and also very disjointed bc I just finished writing a 1,800 word essay and my brain is mush lol. I’m just sort of reiterating everything you said. Sorry for making you read all this lmao 😭🙏 But thank you for the kind words, seriously ❤️ I really really appreciate it :’D !!!!!!!

[haechannabelle]

new years post featuring me getting sentimental and also shoutouts to my mutuals (and the girl reading this) 🎊🎉🎆

i started this blog back in august or september (time is fake, i don’t know anymore), and i feel so hashtag blessed to already have so many cool and fun mutuals to tag in a post, so i am making a post ! this is that post <3 so special shoutout to the following people:

@neonarcher @bangzchan @shuatm @pinkhaech @atinystraykid @seunieverse @kimsmingyu @kdongyoung @jsuh @ambivartence @felixyongboks @appiarian @8junhao @seuiqi @chxrry-chris @uwu-fullsun @sohnuts | even if we've never interacted i appreciate all of you so much that i decided to ring in my new years by writing this post !

ok quick 2022 highlights while i'm here (cue bgm seventeen - highlight, alt iz*one highlight. two bangers, either one will do):

2022 was actually the best mental health year i've had in like, over 10 years (we still got a loooooong way to go, but like. maybe i'm actually on the way up which is cool ??). i also ummm got into kpop in late july 2022 and my life has literally changed so much since (for the better, i feel). i saw nct-127 live in october and i cried the entire time, and i uhhhh got engaged (???!?!?!!) in november which is crazy (literally cannot believe another person wants to spend their life with me,, as a person who is generally very bad at receiving love that is SO wild to me but it is also literally forcing me to accept love and i am therefore getting better at doing that ! does that make sense ? i'm not fully with it rn, this is the latest i've stayed up in awhile lmao. anyways it's been a good year. i went to new york city and my fiancé and i spent entirely too much money on kpop stuff. we went to the beach also. and successfully held down the same job for a whole calendar year (never happened before). good year.

i want to do more art next year. i used to do art every day (literally for almost my whole life up until this past summer). i've had a massive creative block for months, i feel like i can only consume media and not create it and that has really sucked. but, i did make something recently !! something i will post very soon...spoiler it is a photo edit that i got a lil more creative with and i'm reeeally happy with it ! which is why i'm scared to post it LOL but i'm gonna do it. i'm gonna be brave !!

yeah, i think i will try and be brave in the new year. be brave and make art. vague enough to work.

also, i probably listened to 1,500+ different kpop songs in just the second half of 2022, that's crazy. can you imagine how much more kpop i can listen to if i apply myself this year ??? i am literally never bored anymore, thanks to kpop. and i have a lot of fun posting on this blog, so thank you to anyone reading this for being part of it ily happiest new year to you specifically <33

[froggyrights]

Aah a bunch of people have tagged me in this tag game now thank u @theedorksinlove @l0pht @qockpillz @robinloved beloved mutuals :)

Last movie: I watched Knives Out a couple days ago! I saw glass onion & hadn't seen this one yet so watched it for the Benoit Blanc slayage

Last Song: Holding on to You by twenty one pilots! I'm regressing back to my emo phase in 2023 I've decided. Going to be more cringe about it this time I deserve jt

Currently Reading: The adventures of huckleberry finn, when my mom moved last year I got a ton of her old classic English language literature and I'm very slowly working my way through them :)

Currently Watching: Breaking Bad, for the first time! But I'm watching it with my dad so I only watch an episode a week basically lol. I've been really enjoying it though this show is so hilarious in such an unconventional way its awesome

Currently Consuming: water. Yum

Currently Craving: rice with stir fry honey soy sauce chicken and sesame seeds and green onion and other vegetables...... just stir fry in general is saur good I could eat it forever I need to make it more

Anyway tagging anyone who wants to do this ! And @dreamstummy @alien-girl-21 @carpedzem @hoshogie @catboydweam @minecraftdog if u guys want to and haven't done it already :)

[earthtooz]

hi earth! i was wondering if you possibly had any advice for anyone who wants to start a writing blog or general tips. if you’re comfortable with it, it would also be cool to know what your writing process is like! you write very well so i’m just curious. thank you for taking the time to read this and i hope you have a lovely day!

first of all, this ask was what got me out of bed in the morning to go to my laptop where i did nothing for like 2 hours.

ANYWAYS I’ve been awake for seven hours now and i still haven’t answered it LOL, but thank u for taking the time to pop into my inbox anon!! so honoured u thought of me 🤭🤭

i’m more than happy to answer any questions u may have!! i’ve only been writing here for like one and a half years but I’ll gladly share some tips for new writers <3

tips for new writers - writing on tumblr in general:

formatting and your writing style is very important!!! people most of the time will like stories that have good grammar and are easy to read, so know your punctuation- duh, i mean, most people know where to put their commas, full stops, and shit, but as even a native English speaker i still need to double check sometimes 😭😭😭

ALSO, figure out if you’re a writer who likes to write with proper punctuation or in lower case like i am rn. people on tumblr don’t care which one you opt for so it’s a matter of personal preference!!

personally, i like to use proper punctuation for longer fics with more plot, and lower case writing for normal drabbles, headcannons, etc, all up to you :3 depends on what i feel like tho, i just like the look of lower case hehe

also, you can totally write drafts on tumblr or another platform - i switch between docs and tumblr. shorter pieces on tumblr and longer pieces on Google docs !!

how to get attention on tumblr as a new writer - the importance of tags:

USE THE TAGS - DON’T BE SHY !!! USE A VARIETY !!!! it’s so easy to get reads on tumblr if you just know your tags. i also will say: be mindful of whether or not you stay in tags bc your post can suddenly just disappear- this has happened to me so many times 😭😭 to do that just search if your fic is still popping up in the ‘recent’ section of the tags AND EVERY TIME AFTER U POST SOMETHING, TAKE THE TIME TO SEARCH IF IT’S IN THE ‘RECENT’ TAGS.

(this part might make zero sense, but if it’s been a couple hours and your post still is not popping up, you can either edit it again, make no changes, and press ‘save’.)

general tips:

have an aesthetic layout.

obviously it’s not ‘essential’, but i always find myself more likely to follow blogs that are pretty or have an aesthetics

it takes so long to do but it’s so worth it 😭 if you looks at the fics that do very well, the formatting it very beautiful and pleasing to the eye.

if you’re struggling with a layout, there are so many inspos available on tumblr, just search up ‘blog inspo’ or ‘layout inspo’ and you’ll generally be pretty successful. if all else fail just go to your fav blogs and see how they set up their blog/navigation/aesthetic!!!

having a set colour for your blog can also look nice and less chaotic. for example; mine is red and it’s my (usually) go-to colour for a lot of stuff. just make sure u like the colour tho ☝️

also don’t be afraid to talk to people! AUTHORS LOVE WHEN YOU COMPLIMENT THEIR WORK!! getting mutuals is such a great feeling so PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE !!!!! MAKE FRIENDS 😮😮

my writing process:

i am that writer that likes to have a plot before i start anything, but it’s never complete. normally when i’m going abt my day, i suddenly think of a piece of dialogue or scenario that makes me go ‘hold on. let me write that down’.

for example, recently i thought of a piece of dialogue for an angst fic (that i don’t know if i’ll use) that goes:

‘no i’m not upset that you forgot about our anniversary, in fact, i already predicted you would.’

another idea i had was: you don’t ever want to leave nagi seishiro hungry.

sometimes I get these ideas when i’m in bed like bro 😐 let me rest…

if i feel inspired enough to continue said ideas, i do, but i never force the fic from happening bc then it’ll be mediocre and just… okay. not something i want on my blog 😭

but then i decide the wordlength, how many scenes i want to be in there. for example, my mistletoe todoroki fic i set out for 4k and met my goal. but my itoshi rin Xmas fic only met around 1k when my goal was 2k - sometimes this happens and i cant be mad if i think the story is done there.

it’s never that organised though, if you look at my drafts, it’s a scrabble of words. i jump from scene to scene with big gaps in between that i need to fill in later 😭 but that’s just how i write LOL ! you may be totally different from me which is a-okay :3

then i grind til the fic is done, reread then bam 💪 ! do my usual formatting on tumblr, tags, and then you’ll see the final result!! easier said than done bc when you want to be done with a fic and just post it, you then need to do all the actual presentation of the fic 😭😭😭

anyways yeah, that’s my process summarised lol!! hope it helped u get a little bit of an idea for what the earthtooz blog grind looks like 🫡

so yeah, i think that’s all i rly need to say!! if you wanna follow my advice or not, up to u, but once again, thank u for popping in my inbox anon and asking me!! gave me something to do whilst on my walk 🤭

cant wait to see what you write, always feel free to come back and ask if you need some ‘extra help’, but i believe in you! good luck and have fun writing, and i hope to see u in the tags someday :D

[gith-egg]

Drik and his Companions (continued from this ask)

Figured if I have more to say I may as well just say it so here we go

Wyll: Drik and Wyll have a mutual crush on each other. It absolutely destroyed me to have to turn Wyll down in the game because they would be soooo cute together and basically perfect for each other EXCEPT for the crucial caveat that Wyll is very strictly monogamous and Drik is just funamentally not. Their friendship was a bit awkward for a bit after figuring this out. They bounced back and are now very dear friends, but there's still a tiny bit of I guess melancholy in both directions regarding what might have been

Lae'zel: She's the first of Drik's own kind that he's met since he was a toddler so that's kind of a big deal for him. He has a lot of conflicted feelings at first - he's really keen to learn about his culture and Lae'zel is keen to share, but she's also prickly, intimidating and unpredictable. He does a lot of sucking up and trying to please her because she has information he wants and that's just his habitual strategy for getting it. In time though they do develop a genuine bond as trusted and respected allies. She still makes sure to remind him daily that he's a pathetic weakling but he's figured out that's Lae'zel speak for "I care about your wellbeing and safety" and probably just responds with a cheeky "love you too" to see how severely it makes her scowl at this point

Astarion: HOO BOY. This one goes under a readmore because there is an essay worth of nonsense here.

So when I started Drik's run - this was my first time playing the game, going in almost blind - my tentative plan was that I was going to romance Astarion. Astarion very quickly made it clear this was not going to happen. For at least the first third of the game they got on each other's nerves SO bad - Drik's general tactic for getting what he wants (other than stealing) is to schmooze and flatter and "make friends" with everyone who isn't immediately hostile to him, which Astarion interpreted as genuine altruism and wrote Drik off as a soft-hearted fool. Which... he actually is, but he got annoyed at Astarion not seeing why he does things the way he does when Astarion has almost the exact same approach himself a lot of the time. Cue a lot of petty bickering.

Then to make matters worse, as they got to actually know each other, Drik quickly developed a great big crush. (Yes, he falls for people left and right - he's spent the past decade in self-imposed isolation other than family visits and he's in his early 20s. It happens lol)

Astarion mostly still thought he was an obnoxious kid and Drik was well aware of that and didn't expect the feelings to be returned. Unfortunately Astarion was also 1. a rude bastard about it and 2. saw fit to try to use him as a juice box anyway, and being a kind of self-loathing barely-adult with a weird crush, Drik obviously let him, and kept letting him. (It's anyone's guess how he even has enough blood to spare any. Thank the gods for rangers being able to self-heal)

He spent a lot of time just letting Astarion do whatever he pleased re: eating tadpoles and reading cursed books and the like, enabling him even - Astarion, effectively, achieved exactly what he was aiming to in manipulating him, and without even having to be nice about it.

Then he got slapped with the consequences when Drik developed such a complex about it that he went to Astarion and tried to apologise for taking advantage of him ("I was letting you feed on me because I was selfishly indulging in the intimacy even though I know you don't see me that way") and, subsequently, Karlach caught wind of the whole affair and had some choice words with him, and a lot of talk was had between the three of them about boundaries and expectations and treating people right.

Somehow, despite all of that, they are now practically inseparable. They still piss each other off all the time and get into stupid petty squabbles. Astarion will absolutely be asked to be best man at Drik's wedding. They would be lowkey lost without each other present in their lives in some capacity. I don't know how this happened or what you would even call their relationship. I love them.

[nebulouscoffee]

15 questions 15 mutuals*

*but I don't actually have 15 mutuals so we're just gonna have to make do lol

Thanks for the tag @bijoumikhawal!

Were you named after anyone?

Nope- though I almost was, first after my mom's little sister (who sadly passed away when they were children due to health complications) and then after a yoga teacher who turned my mom's life around- but in the end my parents went with some random name they just thought I "looked like" haha

When was the last time you cried?

*dramatic hair flip* well, I don't wanna brag, but, uh- I did cry myself to sleep last night💅💃🏾🙈 (no hugely tragic reason really lol it's just been a rough month)

Do you have kids?

Nope

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I definitely can be sarcastic sometimes, but idk maybe not to the extent where I feel like people who know me would describe me as "sarcastic"? Thinking about it, I guess I usually reserve it for commentary on stupid conflicts and like bigots and stuff, not for everyday interactions with people just being harmlessly sincere

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Faces I think? Not like any kind of evaluation, I just think that's the first thing I look at. Also I guess, do they look/sound like they're okay, or like they're having a bad day/in a bad mood

What’s your eye color?

Black. If you wanna get really technical, then really, really dark brown, but honestly it just looks black haha

Scary movies or happy endings?

I don't see how they're mutually exclusive! But if I had to answer, I do like horror but it's not my top watched genre, so happy endings I guess? Idkkk I don't really get this question

Any special talents?

Special? Hmmm idk... I can do a pretty solid gollum impression, does that count😂 (okay maybe impressions in general, yes unfortunately I was That Kid in class who could do all the teachers and some of my impressions were even Teacher Approved😂😂)

Where were you born?

*pulls a Garak and tells you six different answers*

What are your hobbies?

Writing, cooking, music, reading, movies- is it weird to say researching? Love researching

Have any pets?

Yuppp she's a mutt she's a stray she's a queen I love her <3

What sports do you play/have you played?

LOLLL okay back when I was a teen and I used to play sports For Fun (as in, I was never part of any teams or anything, just messing around VERY non-competitively with my friends) I dabbled in basketball, badminton, football (as in the kind where you kick a ball with your foot, not whatever y'all got going on in the US), frisbee & volleyball on the beach. But I cannot stress this enough- I sucked at everything across the board and it was all just for fun lmao, literally you cannot put enough quotation marks around "played" when saying I "played" sports😂🙈 Anyway those days are all gone, now I walk my dog ig

How tall are you?

Smol (juuuust about 5'3'')

Favorite subject in school?

Ahh I could never choose!! I love you science I love you social studies I love you literature everything was so interestinggg (I was a terrible student though, failed exams All the time😌)

Dream job?

I actually would love to write novels and instrumentals and stuff... And I guess I could probably see myself working in wildlife conservation too, maybe later on in life

Tagging: uhhhh @fancy-a-dance-brigadier @lorenzobane @enterprisery @sapphosewrites @cordrazine-official ummmm @wanderingwriter87 @trillscienceofficer and YOU!! Yes, you, seeing this post, consider yourself tagged (cheating😌)