#thank u for tagging me again :) i dont do tag games too much but i appreciate when people tag me nonetheless
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˖⁺。˚⋆˙sickly sweet | OB38/87/whatever˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pairing: ollie bearman x driver!reader y/n (she/her)
genre: social media au, new relationship
warnings: very fluffy lol
summary: in which you & your new boyfriend act too sweet online and your friends are extremely overprotective !!!
a/n: ollie is deffo a new one for me lol im not rly a massive fan of writing driver!reader ngl but i did it for u anon pls appreciate <333
request!!!: driver!reader x Ollie bearman just them being sickly in love with one another and the other f1 drivers being protective about y/n
fc: various brunette girls from pinterest
my masterlist
instagram ->
f1updates
liked by user16, user1, user33 and others
f1updates mclaren rookie driver y/n y/l/n seen at a sports game this weekend with f2 driver ollie bearman ♥️
tagged: yourusername, olliebearman
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user1 are they dating??
user2 yea but it's pretty new i think
user3 omg so cute
user4 awww the way she's looking at him 🥹🥹
user5 TOO CUTEEE
user6 who is he??
user7 f2 driver lol and reserve driver for ferrari & haas
user8 idk who im more jealous of
messages ->
instagram ->
yourusername
liked by olliebearman, alex_albon, and others
yourusername anyways
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user9 OMGGG HELLOOO OLLIE
mclaren that better be papaya 👀
yourusername cheating on u with a mango 😕
mclaren 😵
user10 LOL? they are so unserious
landonorris cancel your weekend plans
yourusername excuse u
charles_leclerc we're staging an intervention
yourusername i wont be attending, sorry
maxverstappen1 oh dont worry y/n, we'll come to you 😊
yourusername guys please you cant "stage an intervention" just bc i have a bf now
carlossainz55 sure
user11 HAHAHA FREE HER
user12 ijbol they r so overprotective
alex_albon grid princess
liked by yourusername
olliebearman ♥️🫶
liked by yourusername
georgerussell63 read the room
landonorris 🤨
yourusername ignore them ollie
user13 LOLLLLL
olliebearman posted a story
liked by yourusername, lilymhe, and others
lilymhe cuties
liked by olliebearman
user14 omg im obsessed with u guys
user15 papaya prin 🥹🥹🥹
landonorris delete
carlossainz55 blocked and reported
maxverstappen1 watch your footing
alex_albon stay safe out there
olliebearman 😬😬😬
yourbff posted a story
liked by olliebearman, alex_albon, and others
georgerussell63 not you too
yourbff awwww stop being a loser
charles_leclerc interesting
yourbff UR NOT HER FATHER 😂
user16 OMG GOALS
user17 they r sosososo cute tgthr
user18 i jus know the rest of the grid r spamming ur dm rn
liked by yourbff
lilymhe the boys are so triggered and she dgaf
yourbff they are such little worms! free my baby y/n
f1updates
liked by user18, olliebearman, and others
f1updates mclaren rookie driver y/n y/l/n spotted once again with f2 driver ollie bearman in romantic embrace, out for lunch at a fast food chain with friends during a week long break in the season !
tagged: yourusername, olliebearman
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user19 my ollieyn heart
user20 ollie liking this omg he's down bad 😭
user21 obsessed with y/n finally noticing ollie when he drove for ferrari this season instead of when they were both in f2
user22 she's real for this
user23 no one can say tht girl isn't all about the racing
user24 lovethemlovethemlovethem
user25 im down bad crying at the gym😭
user26 would kill to see the grid group chat after this dropped 💀
user27 😂 they are so protective of the papaya princess
user28 as they should be tbh
maxverstappen1 not again...
f1updates MAX??!!
user29 what is max doing here 😂
olliebearman oh no.....
user30 screaming
messages ->
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yourusername 📍 monte-carlo
liked by olliebearman, charles_leclerc, and others
yourusername my first podium in f1 in freaking monaco 🥺 i wanna thank my family and friends, my team and my fellow drivers who made an impossible transition from idols to friends thank u so so much i can't believe this is my life 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡��
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olliebearman so proud 🧡
maxverstappen1 will let it slide for today
user31 LOL taking a day off
landonorris smashed it
charles_leclerc so proud! an honour to share the podium with you
alex_albon papaya QUEEN
georgerussell63 never doubted you for a second!
mclaren that's our girl 🧡
user32 eating the right fruit this time 😂
carlossainz55 no one else i'd rather be beaten by 😊
lilymhe my fav girl boss
user33 everyone loves her sm 🥹🥹
user34 so happy for her i cried fr
yourbff my little legend <3
olliebearman
liked by yourusername, alex_albon, and others
olliebearman congratulations to our y/n on her first f1 podium so unbelievably proud of you and in awe of everything you do everyday. i love you 🩷
tagged: yourusername
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user35 OMGGG a whole post for her
user36 screaming this is so so cute
charles_leclerc ❤️❤️
liked by olliebearman, yourusername
maxverstappen1 oh
yourusername 🤨?
carlossainz55 this is actually very nice
georgerussell63 ...agree
landonorris 😳
olliebearman no way
yourusername you won them over....
alex_albon FINALLY
user37 scream
user38 hahahaha awww they finally accepted ollie 🙏
user39 obsessed with everything about this omg
user40 I LOVE OLLIEYN
yourusername stop it you'll make me cry!!!! i love you so much i couldn't have done it without you
olliebearman well you could but i appreciate the sentiment 😘
THE END 🧡❤️
#f1 smau#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 x reader#smau#ollie bearman#ob87#ollie bearman smau#ollie bearman fanfic#ollie bearman imagine#ob87 fanfic#ob87 smau#ob87 imagine#ob87 fluff#ollie bearman fluff#charles leclerc#cl16#leclerc reader#ob87 x reader#ob87 x you#ob87 x yn#ollie bearman x you#maddie's smau
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Sweethearts and Sweet Dreams <3
“Nothin’?”
“Mhm.”
“Whats behind your back then?”
You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.” (6.4k words)
tags!! - 18+ modern au! Husband! Joel Miller, Wife! Reader, you guys are happy and in love!, mutual obsession if u squint, lots of exposition im so freaking sorry, pervert Joel if u squint, praise kink joel if you squint, dumbification if you squint, written for those with daddy issues lowkeeyyyyy, written with game joel in mind but could be hbo joel no problem!, lowk i combined the two in my mind, mentions of shy old man joel, housewife! reader (by choice), unspecified age gap but reader is like. thirty? and joels Like...55??, talk about joel taking medication for his anxiety, p in v sex, dirty talk, public sex, outdoor sex, joel has a kink for dresses because i said so? service top joel if you squint, pet names, a pinch of jealousy and possessiveness for fun, playful banter, mentions of maria and tommy and their baby with a made up name Lol, mentions of ellie and sarah (rip), mentions of readers past abusive relationships, talk about joel struggling with substance abuse/addiction and being hospitalized.....Im sure u can theorize why </3, lots of lore ill get into in another fic MAYBE *smirks*, flip flop in perspective, sometimes showing what joel is thinking or what reader is thinking blah blah
authors notes!! - hi there!!! im mocha and this is my first joel fic ever + my first fic posted to tumblr!! im really nervous cuz i havent written anything in months and ive never written joel before so please let me know if you like it!! id love to write more of this au for u guys if theres a demand for it...Thank u for reading!! also barely proof read im ngl. ive been staring at this fic all day im sick of itttt. p.s i dont usually write smut i also kinda do idfk Is this bad or am i tweaking
You step out of the house, morning sun soaking into the roots of your hair and the driveway beneath your feet. Theres a package youve been waiting for.
You cant contain your grin as you wiggle it out of the hot prison that is your mailbox.
“What the hell are you doin’ out there barefoot?” Joel chastises you from the front door, leaning his elbow on the frame. Joel, your lovely husband of two years. Been together for five. And because of how hard he works, you have the privilege of being a stay at home wife. Some people think that sort of life is stifling, but youve never felt so free. No more jobs you hate, no more financial struggles. Just you, Joel, and your cat, Cement. He likes to pretend it isnt a totally hilarious name for a pet.
You were his first relationship in almost a decade, so it was a lot of work helping him unpack his anxieties about dating, and a lot of work for you to feel safe and unafraid. Honestly? Youve been mistreated by enough men to land you in the psychward.
But Joel never yells at you, he never breaks things when hes angry or threatens to hurt you. He might raise his voice every now and again, but its never because of something you did. Sometimes the stress of life is just too much.
He works hard, he loves his daughter- daughters- and he would do anything to keep you happy. Whatever you say goes, he says. Even now, you hardly argue. Of course you have disagreements, or off days thatd lead to one of you being especially moody, but the both of you do your best to communicate.
Behind that rough exterior, is someone who just wants to be needed.
You first met Joel at a youth center you volunteered at, he taught guitar, you taught arts and crafts. Joel says it was your smile and sense of humor that charmed him. It was his singing and southern accent for you.
Your favorite thing about Joel is how soft he gets around you. He says its because you make it easy to be soft.
Joel was a shy lover at first. He would get nervous just kissing you, or holding your hand. While most people become intimate very early on in their relationship, you and Joel didnt do anything sexual for the first five months of you dated. Sure, you almost did, plenty of times, but he would get so overwhelmed and cut things short. You broke two of your vibrators during this era of your relationship. Embarassing.
You remember your first time very vividly. Joel had worked back to back doubles trying to meet a deadline, and on the final day, after having barely spoken to you for almost a week, you had shown up to his house, unannounced. You were wringing water out of your jacket when he swung the door open.
“How-” Joel blinks a few times, stepping forward to examine the rainfall. “How long you been out here?”
“Not that long,” You lie and pick up the container you brought off the porch chair. Part of you had a hard time mustering up the courage to even knock on the door. Droplets of water cascade down your chin. “Hi, sorry. I know youre tired.”
He shakes his head, voice soft and warm. “S’fine. Now c’mon, youre gonna get sick.”
Youre seated at the little dining table next to the kitchen now, trying to let the sound of the rainfall ease your nerves.
Joel was quick to grab you a towel, and does the honors of drying your face and hair with it. “Why didnt you jus’ call me? Woulda gotten out of the shower faster if i knew you were gettin’ soaked out there like this.”
“I dunno, sorry.”
“An’ whatd i tell you about apologizin’ all the time?”
“Sor- Uh. Right. Okay.” You tighten your jaw. No more.
Joel moves behind you, now squeezing water out the ends of your hair. “Whas’ that?”
“Oh!-” You peel back the lid, showing it to him. “Old fashion cake donuts are your favorite right? I remember you saying you liked eating them with your coffee in the mornings so…I made these. Youve been working a lot lately and I wanted to do something nice for you.”
Joel gingerly grasps the container from your hands, looking into it. Theyre a warm golden brown, outside evenly fried, and the sweet scent of them hits his nose right away.
“I was just gonna leave them on the doorstep and call you to tell you they were there, but I wanted to see you.”
His adam's apple bobs as he swallows the dryness in his throat. Youre too good for him.
“Thank you very much.” He presses a kiss to your damp hair. “Now, lets get you into some dry clothes.”
Joel gives you a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers to keep you modest while your clothes wash and dry.
You wait patiently on his bed for the hot chocolate he promised you before you showered. Theres nothing to watch on the tv, so you just turn it off and reach for the lamp on his nightstand instead.
He comes in quietly, and sets the mug down beside the lamp. You finally come into focus, clear as day even under the low lighting.
“You uh.. You look nice.”
You blink. “I look nice?”
“In my shirt.”
That gets a smile out of you.
Joel tips his head towards the mug. “S’hot so, give it a few minutes. Dont want you burnin’ your mouth.”
You nod. “Okay.”
Hes sat beside you now and the two of you sit in silence for a while. Its not awkward, just the kind of silence where both of you want to say something but just.. Cant.
Joel unravels first. “Missed you, y’know. Just been tired.”
“I know.” Your voice wobbles, and Joels jaw tightens like hearing you sound so sad stings him. “I missed you, too.”
He slides his hand over yours, giving it a squeeze. Its okay.
“Hey Joel...Can I stay the night?”
“Sure. Id really like that.”
While you drink your hot chocolate, you and Joel catch up. You both talk about work, and about your new found interest in baking. Joel teases you about your lack of cooking skills, you do the same. Youre both useless.
When its time to climb into bed, neither of you can actually fall asleep. Joel rolls onto his side, away from you and the window. You follow, curling up like a little cat against his back. The sensation is nice for the both of you.
You speak up after a little while.
“Joel?”
“Mm.”
“Thank you for letting me stay.”
He scoffs, voice thick with exhaustion. “Like I'd force you to leave after you brought me such a nice present.”
You let out a little giggle, “So if i didnt, youd kick me out?”
“Id think ‘bout it.”
You gasp, gently shoving at his back. “Thats mean…!”
“S’really not.”
“Oh yeah? And what if I poisoned them?.”
“Then itd jus' be a regular day of your cookin’ then.” Joel reminds you, lighthearted. Too many times where you left the shells in your eggs or burnt toast or left the bacon on the pan for too long.
“You cant get mad at me for my dark past when you made a perfectly good sirloin taste like horse leather.”
“Ugh. Dont remind me. That was like putting a one-hundred dollar bill into a paper shredder. How do either of us stay alive again?”
“Uh. Digiorno?”
“Digiorno.”
After a few moments, Joels rolling over again, and hes guiding your head to settle against his chest. Your arms wrap around him, and his arms around you.
“Joel,” You whisper. He hums. “Im cold.”
“S’cause youre not wearin’ any pants.”
“And whos fault is that?”
“Still yours.”
“I was left out in the rain like a sad, sopping wet cat. One that was left in a box all alone with no family…” You pretend to sniffle. “Dont you feel bad for me?”
Joel sighs, not saying anything more except making sure the part of the comforter behind your back is tucked into your side so the cold air doesnt get in. When hes done, you do a little shimmy up his body, and throw your leg over his hip. Oh no.
Hes alert now. Very alert. Be normal. Joel hesitates, licking the dryness off his lips. “Uh. Feel better?”
“Mhm.” You push your face into his throat, cat-like, before settling down again. Hes like a radiator.
Actually scratch that, he cant be normal.
“Darlin’.” He rasps, patting your back to get your attention.
“Mm?”
“Your leg. Move it.”
A few beats pass. “Why?”
“Because…” Wow, he didnt think hed get this far. You shift forward and Joel lets out a quiet exhale through his nose, one that couldve been masked by the rain if you werent so close.
“Are you-”
“No! No. Its- Its not what you think-” He cant see your face in the darkness but he knows you feel the semi-hard struggling through the confines of his pants. Lame.
“Joel,” You say, soft. Your hands slide up his arm to cradle his jaw. Lightning flashes into the room, giving you a glimpse of Joels tight expression. He whispers your name back, just as soft.
“This is normal.”
Its normal, it is! Except for the fact that you guys havent had sex yet. The stress of being intimate is too much, kills his boner in a blink. The longer he waits the worse the anxiety gets.
“I-I know.”
You place a hand on his chest, feeling it pound away like crazy through all the soft muscle.
“Youve been taking your medication, right?”
Has he?
The silence of him thinking is proof enough. “Joel-”
He sighs, rubbing his eyes through the darkness .“I know, I know. Shoot, Im sorry. I just forget sometimes.”
“Its okay.” The pad of your thumb strokes the tops of his cheek, and you press a tender kiss to his mouth to soothe him. “...Want me to remind you?”
The softness of your lips has him a bit dazed. “Huh?”
“I said, do you want me to remind you? I can- You know, call you before you leave work. Make sure you take them.”
“You know I wake up at five-o-clock in the mornin’ , right?”
“I know.”
In a whisper, “Okay.”
Joels rough palms trail down your back and stop at the curve of your butt, finger tips delicately tracing the skin above your shorts. You shiver.
Barely above a whisper. “We dont have to go all the way.”
He says your name again, laced with worry. He doesnt want you to feel pressured.
You pull your leg off his hip and push yourself up, settling your hands on either side of Joels head.
“Can I tell you something?”
“Yes-”
“-And you cant get all in your head about it. You stay here, with me. You stay present.”
“Okay, okay.” He nods, a bit defeated. “I will stay present.”
“When you...When you say you dont wanna have sex, what is it that youre thinking exactly? I know you said you just get really nervous but I feel like youre not being totally honest.”
Joel stays quiet, idly rubbing your sides. Maybe you are a cat. Just getting to feel any part of you is soothing. “I jus’ want you to feel good. ‘Fraid ill do somethin’ you dont like.”
“You cant assume how I feel, Joel. Being intimate.. It takes time to learn what the other person likes.”
He sighs. “I know.” Youre always right.
Adding on, “Like I said, we dont have to go all the way,” You lean further back, situating yourself on his hips. He lets out a shaky breath when he feels the pressure of your ass through his sweats.
“But, I want to start somewhere. I want to feel you.”
“Fuck- Um-” Hes shaking now, letting you grind your hips down onto him. Joel cant seem to control the way his hips instinctively push up to meet yours. Youre both becoming of a mess of little gasps and hot breaths and tiny whimpers already.
You hunch forward, guiding his hand under your your shirt- His shirt- letting him feel up the supple skin of your stomach, then the area where your ribs are, then your-
“And I want you to feel me,”
Surprisingly, you did actually go all the way that night.
Your sex life was a bit of a rocky start, but after Joel got over most of his anxiety, you learned quickly just how goddamn insatiable he was. Five years in and he still regularly makes you sore.
There are a couple things you learned about him and his sexual interests. He loves to take you in his truck, in your kitchen, in your bathroom, on your couch. Other, riskier places. Anywhere that isnt your bed apparently, not that he isnt fucking you there either.
Joel is handsy, so handsy infact it embarasses you to no end, especially when youre infront of others. Thats usually how it starts, too. First he kisses you, then gropes your hips and your ass, and the next thing you know, youre cumming on his fingers. Then hed bend you over, or get you on your back, or make you ride him. Is it really riding if hes just slamming up into you until your brain turns into mush?
He likes that too. Making you not think.
Youd be lying if you said its only ever him. Sleepy morning handjobs before work, whining to him over the phone and touching yourself to his voice, arching your back into him while you're washing dishes, sucking him off after hours in his office.
And while most men prefer lingerie or little costumes, Joel likes dresses. Dresses that are discreet so he can take you in the backyard when he comes home early and sees you gardening. Or when youre both at a friends house and hes had a little too much to drink and finds himself alone with you. Dresses that make it easy to play his favorite game with you. I touch you, and you make sure we dont get caught by being too loud. Joel really is the worst sometimes.
Now, you only ever wear pants when its cold, or to bed or sometimes when youre lounging, like today. Youre in some shorts and a tank top. Otherwise, its dresses all year round, usually retro styles or ones meant for spring. Joels not picky though, he loves any dress on you.
Even if you wear an extremely modest, white lacey sleep dress, looking like some kind of vintage ghost, the man would still keep you up all night. And he has. He said you looked like a princess. You guess you kind of did.
The entire thing is like an unspoken arrangement between you both. He doesnt tell you to wear them, you just do.
And he works hard to spoil you, so why not buy as many cute dresses as possible?
You got a cute dress today too, on the same day Joel has off. You think its going to be a new favorite of his.
The big polymailer stays hidden behind your back. Be casual. “Uh- Nothing!”
“Nothin’?”
“Mhm.”
“Whats behind your back then?”
You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.”
“Lemme see then. Show me your hands-”
“Hey, Mrs. Miller!”
Both you and Joel turn your heads to the voice, and only one of you has the energy to fake a a smile. Your neighbor is stopping in his driveway, having come back from a jog it looks.
“Hi, Lee.”
Joel really, really, really doesnt like Lee. You dont like him either, but youre not one to cause problems. Lee on the other hand, is. Hes a bit younger than you, and a lot younger than Joel. Hes one of those tech dudes with a massive ego, thinks that youll be swayed by his money and his “charm” and youth as if youre some sad housewife in need of saving. Gross.
And another thing, Lee doesnt even actually live here! Hes here ever so often to visit his dad between, you dont know, tech expos? You forget. Joel believes he started showing up more often to see you.
Youre walking towards the porch again. Joels looking especially unhappy to see him today, knuckles pulled taut into a fist. His lips stay pressed into a thin line, careful not to let anything slip out. He usually lets you do most of the talking, as much as it pains him.
Joels really not a fan of the way Lees eyes take a trip up your bare legs. Little shit.
“Out with no shoes again, Mrs. Miller?”
“You know me, Im uh- Im weird.”
“The weird ones do it best.” He smiles, all teeth. It gives you the creeps. His attention is on Joel now. Its like watching a puppy try to one up a wolf. “Right, Joel?”
“Uh huh.” Whatever that means.
“Actually, I've been meaning to ask you something, Mrs. Miller.” Lee crosses into your driveway and you glance briefly at Joel, as if to make sure he isnt going to start growling at the other to stay away. Youre clutching the package to your chest now.
“Have you ever been to a support group for uh- you know, the spouses of addicts? I have a friend from work and shes really struggling.”
Lees tone is sugary sweet, but the fake kind you put in diet soda except that stuff is way better. Joel sighs from the door. You stand there, dumbfounded on the porch steps because what the fuck is he going on about.
You clear your throat, keeping your voice firm. “No. Ive never needed to.”
Joels voice cuts in like a knife. “Been clean for almost twenty years now.”
“Yeah but, you know,” He shrugs, squinting a bit under the morning sun. “Relapses happen.”
Joel and Lee are at a stand still, and the moment Joel lets the arm leaning on the frame drop to his side, you know youre in for a lot of trouble. You move quickly towards the door. “We have to get ready for a- uh- a thing? but Im sorry about your friend.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Miller. Im doing my best to support her.” And before he turns away, he just has to be slimy to you. “If you need someone to talk to, Im here for you.”
“No, that really wont be necess-”
Joels slinging a strong arm around you to yank you back inside before shutting the door.
“Motherfucker,” He hisses to himself, stomping through the walkway and into the kitchen.
“How-” You rub your eyes, letting them adjust to the light inside of the house. You put the package down onto the bar counter that opens up the kitchen and follow Joel to the fridge. “How does he know?? I thought-”
“Been living in this house for decades now,” His expression is tight, brows knitted together while he chugs a bottle of water. “People talk. ‘Specially if I'm being rolled into an ambulance on more than one occasion.” Joel frowns. “Fuck- I shoulda punched him in the fuckin’ face- Do you see how hard he tries so hard to flirt with you infront’a me?”
“I know, love. I was there.” You take the bottle from his hand and set it to the side, then wrap your arms around him. “Try not to let it get to you okay?”
Joel sighs into your hair, giving your body a squeeze. “I know, I know, but jus’ hearin’ him tryin’ta use my baggage to make a pass at you…S’fuckin’ evil.”
“I agree, but I dont want his blood on the driveway.”
“So get it on his driveway instead, got it.”
You giggle and tip your head up to kiss him. The tension eases from Joels shoulders, and he cups your cheeks, letting his worries melt away into your mouth. When the pads of his fingers start to slide under your tank top, youre leaning back. Youll be here for a while if this goes any further.
Joel mindlessly chases your lips, looking a bit pouty now that its over.
“Im gonna start getting ready for the barbecue, okay?”
“This early?”
“I like being punctual.”
“My brother wont give a damn if were late.” He noses your jaw, pressing a kiss here and there. Your knees are beginning to feel weak. The bastard is trying to distract you.
“But I do. The farmers market opened today, and I promised Maria I'd get her fresh strawberries before we got there, remember?”
“Alright, alright.” He grumbles into your shoulder.
Joel lets you go, watching you round the bar counter to get your package and disappear upstairs.
-
Ever since you came down to a freshly showered Joel, and got into the car with the gift bags you prepared for Maria and Tommy, Hes been staring at you. One wrong move and the drools gonna start pouring out of his mouth.
Your hair is in its relatively natural state, freshly washed and shiny from the oil you put in it. You put on some light makeup, and went a bit heavy handed on the blush to look sunkissed, and topped it off with a flavored lip gloss Joel especially enjoys.
Now, the dress. Its a pink floral mid-length dress, with a low cut sweetheart neckline and a corset style backing to cinch your waist and push out your chest. The material is thick and pretty, and there are two other layers under the skirt to keep its shape. You have on a pair of little pink pumps with little bows to match.
The drive to the farmers market is fairly peaceful, the windows are half down and theres music playing at low volume on the radio. You and Joel have different tastes in music, but one genre you can always agree on is alternative rock.
The weathers beautiful, sun high in the sky, and its not too hot or humid. The day really is perfect. Youre gonna soak up some sun when youre at the barbecue. Hopefully, they made lemonade again too.
Joel has been mostly quiet throughout your shopping. While it would worry some, youve been with him long enough to know that he just has a lot on his mind. What hes thinking about? Maybe youll learn when you make it back home at the end of the day.
You gasp, strolling through the grass to a stand with a mountain of apples. Granny smith, Macintosh, Pink Ladys, Honeycrisp, the works. He grunts, trying to keep the things that are already in your basket steady. You came for strawberries and are going to leave with much more than that.
Joel nudges you softly. “Remember, this is quality stuff, meaning itll go bad faster. Dont get too much.”
“Okay, got it.” You beam, and then begin inspecting the Pink Lady apples first, trying to find the ones with the best color. He keeps the basket within reach so you can drop your picks in.
"These were Sarahs favorites."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, it was funny 'cause we started arguin' over these or Red Delicious. I think Red Delicious is better."
"Thats so cute! Hmm. Should we get one for her? A Pink Lady?"
"Uh," He thinks on it for a moment, unsure, but the smile on your face helps him make a decision. "Sure, why not."
You drop two perfect Pink Ladys into the basket, moving onto the next pile.
“Hey, Joel.” You grin, holding out a wrinkled granny smith apple. “This one looks like you”
“Ha ha.” He deadpans, and grabs it from you to put back. In turn, hes reaching for the runt of the pile. A pathetically small one sitting near the bottom. “Now this one looks like you.”
“Does not!”
“Does too.”
The next stand has golden kiwis, and youre practically dragging Joel forward to try them. You ask for one, and the man at the stand slices it into halves, giving you a plastic spoon to go with.
You let Joel smell it first. “S’good.”
“Lets see if it tastes good.”
You sink your spoon into it, humming when you see how soft and easy it is to scoop out. In your mouth it goes!
Its tastes sweet, a bit mango-y and fucking delicious. You bounce in place, spoon feeding Joel next. “Oh yeah,” He smiles, smacking his lips a bit to really let the taste settle on his tongue. “Were takin’ some of these.”
You take one, then two, then three and four then five and as you reach for the sixth one, Joels stopping you with a gentle hand.
“Darlin’.”
“Right.”
For the next few stands its just you and Joel trying various kinds of fruit. Starfruit, blueberries, some mangos, and then youre going back to the truck.
“I think my favorites were the mangos and golden kiwis. I hope Maria and Tommy have enough space in their fridge for all of this.”
“They moved into a bigger house, I reckon their fridge s’probably bigger, too.”
“What time is it?”
You let go of Joels arm so he can switch the basket from one hand to the other.
“‘Bout…” Hes squinting at his watch. “12:34 in the afternoon.”
“Oh! Guess we got the shopping done sooner than I expected. Hmm. Should we stop somewhere in the mean time?-" You snap your finger when you remember something. "They opened up this cafe that has cats in it! We can drink coffee and play with them for bit! The next fourty-five minutes will go by super fast."
“Youre gonna make Cement jealous.”
You bat your hand dismissively. “Hes not gonna caaare.”
“Oh yes he will. And remind me again why we named our cat Cement?
“Uh, we were both drunk and had gotten him the day before without a name picked out?”
“A whole year later and we still kept it. Worst pet owners ever.” Joel chuckles, opening the passenger door for you like he always does.
“Thank you.”
“Mhm.”
The giant basket of fruit goes into the back seat next to the gift bags before Joel slots himself into the drivers seat.
You fumble with the radio a bit, trying to see what else is on but ultimately landing back on your preferred station. Theyve been playing a lot of Linkin Park recently. Hell yeah. Joel buckles himself in at last, and pulls out of the parking lot.
“Marias gonna teach me how to make baked chicken,” You hum, gazing outside the window.
“You sure youre not jus’ unteachable?”
“Ha ha,” You lightly shove his shoulder, making him smile. “I thought you loved the meat sauce pasta I learned how to make.”
He settles into his seat more comfortably at the stop light, elbow rested on the window. “Got me with that one. Think I like ground turkey over beef, though.”
“Yeah? Me too. The beef tastes better but the turkey is lighter. Stops me from feeling all sick.”
“Agreed.”
Youre looking out the windshield now. Where did all the buildings go? Youre out of the city.
“Uh, Joel?”
“Mm?”
“Where are we going?”
“Somewhere to kill time.”
“Yeah but where?”
“Youll see.”
Your brows pinch together. “I see a whole lot of nothing except for trees."
“Almost there.”
Joel makes a hasty left turn onto some campgrounds. Your stomach starts to twist into excited knots. Is he gonna show you a baby deer or something? Bunnies? He used to be a park ranger for this area, and would tell you stories about all sorts of baby animals hed run into.
The car comes to a stop, and he turns the engine off. Silence.
“So…Were out in the woods to kill time?”
“Mhm.” Joel unbuckles his seat belt and twists into the back to grab the spare jacket he usually keeps there, then gets out of the truck and comes around the back to open the door for you.
He holds your hand to help you get down from the passenger side, and as soon as both of your shoes hit the ground Joel is on you.
You dont know where your hands should go, youve kissed Joel a thousand times and yet you still get so flustered when he catches you by surprise. You keep your hands on his shoulders for now, letting him press wet kisses to your neck and shoulder.
“This is new right? The dress?” He gives your ass an appreciative squeeze through the fabric. “Thought you looked so pretty when you came down stairs in it.”
Your heads spinning. Something about your dress?
“Woulda been okay if you let me have you earlier.” He pulls away, examining your flushed face cradled by his hand. Every part of you just fits so well in his palms. “Then I thought, why not have you now? We got time to spare.”
“Joel- We- Someone could see us-” You sputter, and Joels already shaking his head with a knowing smirk. He pulls you around to the bed of the truck, popping it open, only pausing to spread open the jacket he grabbed, just having just thrown it in there when he came around to get you.
“No ones gonna come lookin’ for us.” He turns you around, pushing you down onto your front. “As long as youre quiet.”
Fuck. You really hate this game. At least, you like to tell yourself that.
Blood rushes to your ears while Joels rough palms lift up the skirt of your dress, exposing your ass and thighs to the cool air. He whistles from behind you.
“Red lace panties?” His fingers dont shy away from tracing along the fabric covering your cunt. “This new too?”
You crane your neck over your shoulder to look at his face. “Uh.. Surprise?”
Joels smiling now, fingers dipping under the lace. “Thas' awfully sweet of you.”
His touch slips and slides around your growing wetness, then trails down to your clit. Your voice wobbles a bit and fuck- fuck hes going too fast. “Joel- Ah-” You whimper and try to push yourself up to look at him but his hand is steady on your spine, keeping you down.
Smug, “Go on, sweetheart. Keep sayin’ my name. Jus’ like that.”
A whine escapes you when he pulls away, “Nooo.” You push your ass back, as if to entice him. You succeed, because hes skipped his usual routine of fucking you with his hands and is now unbuckling his belt.
Joel rolls you onto your back, and peels your underwear all the way off, bunching it up and shoving it into his back pocket. Your face burns just watching him.
“Think i'll hold onto these for a lil’ while.”
His hands push the back of your knees towards your chest, exposing your heat. Youll never get used to the way he just seems so interested just watching your cunt squeeze around nothing.
“Thats-” You swallow, pushing yourself up onto your elbows. "Joel.”
“Relax." He coos, "Seen it a thousand times already, and ill be seein' it a thousand more. Get used to it, honey.”
Your attention flickers down to where his dick is about to meet your entrance. Joels nudging you down onto your back again and pulling the top of your dress down to expose your chest. Its when youre distracted that he actually moves to push himself in.
Both of you groan together, and Joel could never get bored of fucking you, not when your cunt just pulses around him everytime hes inside you.
Joel wastes no time fucking you once he eases all the way inside. Youre trying your best to keep quiet. Shit is no easy task. Its like Joel is trying to get you guys arrested.
He props himself up with a hand near your head, and lets the other keep one of your legs pinned open. The moans start to claw out of your throat. “Joel- Joel-”
“Shh. Thas’ enough.” He growls through his teeth, fucking you harder. “Youre gonna- Gh- Get us caught-”
Something rustles between the trees, making you both freeze. You clasp your hands over your mouth, watching Joel straighten up to look around.
After a few seconds of squinting, Joel can see a few foxes moving about through the trees. Thank fuck. His shoulders visibly relax.
Hushed, “E-Everything okay?”
“Yeah, jus’ some animals.”
And like that, hes back to it. His dick is going to make your eyes permanently stay rolled into your head.
Joel is always just so handsome when hes pounding into you. His forehead gets shiny with sweat, and his jaw is tight from clenching his teeth, keeping himself quiet so he can focus on your moans. His face is noticeably redder against his usual farmers tan too. Really, hes just so attractive.
A flurry of yes and harder and fuck spills out of your mouth and into your palms. Not too loud, you try to remind yourself.
“Joel- S’too much-”
“Nah, thas’ not it.” He huffs, humorous. “You can take it. Y'always do. In fact, you love gettin’ your cunt bullied by me, aint that right?” As if to get his point across, he thrust in all the way to the hilt, making you keen. You forgot how to breathe, lungs drawing tight in your chest.
"Fuck," You manage to squeeze out.
Your palms push weakly at his shoulders, trying to ground yourself somehow. His head drops to the junction of your neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply.
“You good?” He checks in, breath hot on your skin. As if your crying isnt enough.
“So g-good, Joel- Fuck- Youre so good.”
With a little nod, Joels pushing himself up, switching to slow and deep strokes, really digging himself into you, and trying to find that spot he likes to call home.
He massages your chest, then squeezes your sides and your hips and finally, his thumb finds your clit. Immediately, you jolt.
“Oh fuck-”
“Quiet.” And he says it to keep the charade going, even though his favorite thing is hearing your sobs.
His thumb rubbing incessantly against your that sweet little nub of yours. You choke, and Joels chuckling, watching the way you squirm, body not knowing whether it should lean into his touch because its too good or away because its too much.
It starts with this firey feeling under the pad of his thumb, then deep inside your stuffed cunt. Youre going to cum.
Your hands fly to your mouth again, and you get all wide eyed from the sensation. Its cute. Your muscles pull taut, legs locking around Joels hips. Youre wailing into your palm when it happens.
“Good girl,” His voice soothes you through it. “Very good.”
He pets away the fly aways sticking to your sweaty face when its over. Your eyes drop shut while you catch your breath.
Joels moving again now. He rolls his hips a few times, and thumb is building the foundation of another orgasm in you. Youre shaking badly.
Your words slur too, “Cant- Too soon- Joel- Joel-”
“Another one.” Joel says firmly, but breathless.
Youre gasping, not sure where to focus your eyes. The trees around you look like theyre spinning. Your attention is back on Joel, whos looking rather satisfied watching you squirm and cry. If thats how wants to play, then fine.
Your hands slide up Joels biceps, and rests on the nap of his neck to bring him down. “Juh-Joel,” You pant, cradling his face with both hands. “Youre so good- The best-”
Oh, Joel likes that one, you can tell by the way he looks away briefly. Shyness. Excitement runs up your spine. Joel loves being told hes doing well.
“You are- Nghh-” You swallow the drool in your mouth, trying to get the words out clearly. “The best husband I could ever ask for.”
Joel wheezes, head dropping into the curve of your shoulder. “Please.”
“S’true,” You nod rapidly, fingers curling into his hair. “Youre so good to me and-and youre mine and- Joel- Im yours.”
“Jesus-” He groans, soaking up the feeling of you pressing kisses to his face and up his jaw.
“Hhah- No one else can have me, okay? No one- Not even-”
The name doesnt even come out of your mouth before Joels coming to a stop to slip his arms all the way around your middle. With the new leverage he has on your body, hes drilling his way into you. You fucking squeal, rules now long forgotten. Youre a useless ragdoll in his arms and he wouldnt have it any other way.
Your lips are shiny with spit and left over lip gloss, and he can still taste the mintiness in his tongue. Every now and again your eyes drop shut, but his dick just punches into your guts a little harder. Look at me.
Your brain is mush, just the way he likes it, and youre perfectly pliant in his arms, babbling over how good you feel. Hes kisses along the valley of your breasts now, stopping to suck the flesh of your nipples.
Youre just so pretty. Even when you have bedhead, or youre snotty from a cold, or youre all dirty from working in the garden youre still so pretty. Including now, all sweaty with you lipgloss all smudged and your mascara starting to run. Youre perfect.
Joel grunts loud, jaw clenched tight as he gets lost in the feeling of your insides. His perfect little wife.
When he cums, hes doubling over with a loud grunt, getting a few last thrusts in before his spent floods your cunt.
Youre blinking away your tears, now watching the clouds inch along the sky. It really is a beautiful day. You pet Joels sweaty hair, and kiss the side of his temple. Your core throbs faintly. Jesus, he did a number on you.
“Love,” You say softly, patting his back.
“Mm?”
“Get up.” Another pat. “Youre squishing me.”
Joel backs off to buckle himself up, but you stay seated to catch your breath and adjust your dress. At least it didnt get ripped during all the… Commotion. Not like last time.
“I need my underwear back.”
“Nope,”
“Joel.”
He kisses the center of your forehead and helps you down from the bed and into the passenger seat instead. “Told you i'm keepin’ ‘em.”
You sputter, “I cant go to barbecue commando!”
“Sure you can.” He pops open the glove compartment and gets out some tissues, hand snaking under your dress again to clean you. You sigh softly at the sensation.
“Youre the worst.”
“I am indeed the worst.” Joel pulls the seatbelt over your chest and clicks it in. “You can tell me all about it on the way to Tommys.”
#joel miller#the last of us#hbo joel miller#the last of us part 1#the last of us season one#tlou#joel miller x reader#joel x reader#joel miller x you#fanfic#mocha writes#joel miller fanfic#pedro pascal#modern au#smut fic#might cross post to ao3 idk...#pleeaaaase tell me if u guys like this#glaze me glaze me glaze me#Lie 2 me and say u love it...
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(SPOILER WARNING to people who haven't read your story) I SWEAR to GOD!!!! This is borderline anon-hate with my current state of mind after finishing The Raven and The Snake over this weekend. I finished it in two days. I'm a mess. I've even started making a playlist because I feel like I can't properly enter reality again. I'm supposed to be writing my bachelors thesis right now,,,, what have you done to me!!!!
I loved it so so so much, and I am very mad I cannot have a collectors edition hardback version of it on my shelf. There are many many moments that keep replaying in my head, and scenes that I saw so vividly when reading through it. The first imperio moment and Sebs shadow and imperio-green eyes as Clora was held captive, and the entire scene in the repository and how I was physically shaking as I slowly realised that Seb had made a fucking horcrux, and when it was CONFIRMED the GASP i GUSPED. It was so perfect, and so very Sebastian; because OF COURSE he made a horcrux (lowkey hot, sue me).
And the scene where Clive realised Seb straight up just died for his daughter without knowing he would be back, oh my dear lord.
And the idea of Seb being seen as a 'Ruffian' and that little mamas boi bitch of a Henry thinking his hand-me-down-riches, muggle ass would be preferable to a powerful wizard. I secretly wished they didn't have to keep magic a secret so Henry could have known just how inferior he was. AND SEB APPARATING SO FAR UMPH the skilllll.
I could go on and on and on, and maybe I will some other time in your inbox when I have another mental breakdown.
And now I'm also almost done with the small sequel. Just taking a break to bombard you with this unhinged message of mine. And how you draw Sebastian is so fucking good. It's actually what got me reading in the first place. I see your version as being in a completely separate universe from the game, cause the way you draw him just has that something, and it's not the same anywhere else. It certainly doesn't help my obsession that my own boyfriend has the same features and colour palette as him, now I think I might even use your art as inspo for next time we need wardrobe additions.
I love you and I hate you.
Ps. Of course I added Sarah Smiles to the playlist and also Far too young to Die, and Just One Yesterday. If you've any other songs you think match please let me knowww~~
BRUHHHHH I ALMOST FEEL NARCISSISTIC FOR POSTING/RESPONDING TO THIS ASK BC ITS JUST PRAISE BUT DAMN THANK YOU SO MUCH😭😭😭😭IM HAPPY YOU LIKED IT SO MUCH!! FORGET WRITING YOUR BACHELORS THESIS, TY FOR WRITING A THESIS ON WHY U LOVED MY FIC SO MUCH AND ALL THE LIL THINGS U ENJOYED BAHAHAHA (love the henry slander) im also glad u like how i draw seb too, and i love how thats what made u start reading it in the first place BAHAH but fr, sometimes i try drawing seb more accurately to his ACTUAL appearance and then im like... Who The Hell is this... and it may sound arrogant since im the artist but my seb is MY seb, yknow...its why i dont like drawing him with other mc's romantically. bc even tho its like, oh look, that's Sebastian Sallow™ from the hit game Hogwarts Legacy™! in my style if i draw him with another MC, its like, NO!!! THATS NOT SEBASTIAN SALLOW™, THATS CLORA'S HUSBAND🤺🤺THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING BOI??🤺🤺🤺 LMAOO but rly TY AGAIN💖💖💖 not only for reading but also taking the time to write all this and let me know how much you enjoyed it🥹🥹i (and all writers, really) always love getting stuff like this!! it also brings me back to when i was writing it, especially now that ive been finished with my fic for a few months, listening to u react to all the diff scenes is making me miss it and giving me nostalgia for my own damn fic FRRR😩 also i love that youre making a playlist LMAOO thats how u know the brainrot truly has a hold on you IM SO SORRY🙏🙏 i actually made a seb and clora playlist like last year and its somewhere in my ask tag if you look through that?? but one song that i can recommend off the top of my head (which i almost made their anthem in that OTP chart) is arms tonite by mother mother...whenever i listen to it i cant help but laugh to myself bc its SO perfect for the chap where seb sacrifices himself....YOULL SEE WHEN U LISTEN😇💖
#TY AGAIN!!😭💖🙏#BUT ALSO I PROBS WONT PUBLISH ANYMORE OF THESE TYPES OF ASKS FOR A WHILE JSUT CUZ IT FEELS NARCISSISTIC BAHA#so if u do end up sending more ILL APPRECIATE THEM OFC AND I LOVE GETTING THEM but i probs just wont publish them/reply#unless u do it on ao3 or wattpad in whcih case OFC I WILL REPLY...or in my tumblr dms👀#i still want to wrtie more seb and clora oneshots in the future and someone as freshly brainrotted as u probs has good ideas BAHHAA#GIVE THEM TO MEEEEE#(if you have them ofc)#LMAO OK IM DONE THANK YOU AGAIN ILY💖💖💖#ask
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long distance - J.S
@swayman.mrs : my #1 reason to get on a last min flight @ 4 am
tagged : @jswayman1
location : swaytown
jdebrusk : finally youre back
jake30ottinger : too bad we crushed them , sorry u had to see that 🥶😬
jakub_lauko : we get it ur a WAG welcome to the club girlyy
hampuslindholm27 : oooooooooooooo are you here to stay ??
↪ swayman.mrs : no , sadly I am leaving again , dont fret ill be back my good sir
tfreddy42 : how do you consider jeans "comfortable" flight attire at 4 am?!?!
↪ swayman.mrs : bc unlike u I prefer to look presentable at any hour
↪ tfreddy42 : idk about that mrs covers face in every pic ever
↪ swayman.mrs : I WILL GET J ON YOU SO FAST
↪ jswayman1 : uhm lets be nice in the comments kids
matt.grzelcyk : those are my 2 best friends ever omgomgomg
lullmark : uncle and auntie sway gracing us
africkk : the wife section is so much more entertaining with your stories Maddie !
↪ jswayman1 : uhm... what stories???
jswayman1 : my #1 reason to cry mid game - thanks for surprising me baby girl! 💖💖💖
amandacorvenius : so nice to finally meet you , considering youre alllllllll Jeremy talks about!
moaullmark : finally the kids can stop asking when youre going to be in town! come visit us !!!!!!!! @swayman.mrs 😜😜😜❤️❤️
emmageekie : beautiful girl!!💝
ezzybow : 💖💖💖💖
miavoyatzis : still so happy to have met you! hope we see more of you!
spoonzz79 : 😘
morgangeekie : 🤯
A.N :
this probably sucks bc I only wrote this as a some what request. I typically dont have any positive feelings for the bruins unless it is Jeremy Swayman & Linus Ullmark sorry. I am not familiar with any bruins players so idk if this is how interactions would be but I hope its kinda ok .
I like this idea so I might use it for other players too
xoxoxoxoxoxo, M
tags : @quinnylouhughesx43 @noahkahansorangejuice @skylershines
#jeremy swayman#linus ullmark#boston bruins#morgan geekie#emma geekie#moa ullmark#matt grzelcyk#trent frederic#hampus lindholm#jake oettinger#jake debrusk#hockey#nhl#nhl players#nhl imagine#instagram edit
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WIP word game
thanks for tagging me @dear-monday with the word SHOUT. these are all from the fire lookout au, and each one is a separate note. (many people on discord have already read much of this but for everyone else, the super short context is that they're lookouts in the same tower with different schedules and they leave each other notes)
S
Shit. I wrote a note last night while a bit drunk and I can’t find it. I barely remember what it said. If you find it, I’m maybe sorry. If it's something to be sorry for. And even if it isn’t. I’m still sorry.
H
How is it that you’ve gotten all the excitement? 4 days this season and 3 fires. I’m on day 15 and I’ve only spotted 2. Bored out of my mind.
O
One thing I never expected from this job was how beautiful the smoke is. I know fire is not always good for the forest; sometimes it’s because of gross human negligence. But those first minutes where you’re the only one that has seen it, those ghostly wisps rising up into the sky; it’s rather peaceful. It’s hard to reconcile the destruction it can cause with how wondrous it appears. It’s magical.
U (I have literally no sentences, let alone notes, starting with U in this wip?)
I understand. And I apologize for being rather irritable over the whole thing. Sam wasn’t too happy I was up there anyway. He probably would have thrown a fit if I had stayed. I should have said sorry to you today in person. I will on Thursday. If I don’t, feel free to never write me a note again.
T
The chipmunk is a menace.
----------------------------
such a fun tag game! no pressure tags: @aletterinthenameofsanity @tumblerislovetumblerislife @ghostinthelibrarywrites @lesbicosmos @dont-offend-the-bees, your word is ALIGN (and, as always, if anyone else wants to do this, feel free to tag me, i love to see what people working on)
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Hai :7
I love you!
yes you!
click this.
now for introduction.
my name is Renée Corbeau
but you can call me ren or crow
I love crows! they feel like family to me and I hope next cycle I get to experience the life of a crow.
I have gone through alot in life and fancy myself some sort of activist by proxy of that pain, am I perfect? fuck no! I am still learning and probably operate under toxic bias still despite all the effort I have put into growth.
I'm adhd, autistic, anxious, depressive, dissociative, probably some degree of plurality.
I'm a gender non-conforming transwoman, definitely puppy coded, and severely down bad for women, especially butch women!
that being said the human body is beautiful. especially fat bodies, I'm a sucker for meat :3
all my guys, gals, and non binary pals deserve kisses (assuming that they want them)
I love gender fuckery, people who actively blur those lines are doing the lords work.
despite being very friendly and appearing slightly outgoing sometimes, I am very shy and dont have a very large social battery.
if I ever dont respond dont take it personally there are loads of reasons why this could be.
U^ᴥ^U U^ᴥ^U U^ᴥ^U
I am kind of a red mage when it comes to special interests, I know a little bit about alot.
(all lists are not ordered and not exhaustive)
some examples include;
from gaming~ pokemon, zelda, elderscrolls, darksouls, minecraft, osu!, space sims (elite dangerous, astroneer, dyson sphere project, hardspaceshipbreaker), roguelikes (noita, deadcells, gungeon, vagante, slaythespire)
from other media~ pokemon again, bluey, adventure time, atla, bee and puppycat, studio ghibli (nausicaa is goat), csm, bleach, dragonball, naruto, she-ra, dungeon meshi
from *gasps* real life~
space (and metaphysics), nature (it's peculiarities and the many funky adorable little guys born in it) I'm definitely a poser but skateboarding and rollerskating (I really want to get into rollerderby) philosophy (to the extent that any skid is);
History!
(not as well read as I would like because there is so much of it, and so much of the truth is buried under misinformation, but I have deconstructed the whole western myth of how things went and painted myself a much clearer picture as to how things got so bad and am learning new things about the world all the time, please feel free to info dump about anything history related I'd love to hear it. anthropology and archaeology too obvs)
Art!
(this is my chosen field for better or worse >.< I am going to college for web and graphic design (2024-2026) I might extend that an extra 2 years to make it a bachelor of design and hope to one day make graphic novels, beautifully illustrated with deep thought provoking stories)
໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -。꒱ྀི১ ૮꒰՞⸝⸝- ༝ -⸝⸝꒱ა ໒꒰՞⸝⸝. ̫ .ܸ⸝⸝ ꒱ა
Kink! (definitely subject to change)
petplay, musk, intox, bondage, impact, cnc, degradation, somno, hypno, blood, knives, size difference probably more I haven't thought of
I'm poly and very t4t
I'm a switch but this hellsite has been steadily turning me into a bottom day by day heheh
but no actually
I used to be a hypersexual dom pre-transition
but E has made me alot less uncontrollably horny and far more sensitive and inclined to seek vulnerability, all my drive to dom has dissolved
also I suck at tagging and will sometimes will reblog art/random things from tags without checking bios
if that upsets you or makes you uncomfortable please see the block button for more info ;3c
.♡. .♡. .♡.
anyways since you made it this far
here have some headpats
spread kindness please and thank you ^v^
As above, So below.
Hai :7
I love you!
yes you!
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TWISTED WONDERLAND BOOK 7 CHAPTER 2 SPOILERS. (summary, kinda. dont trust me a lot on literal translations its more of a general summary and i could be wrong with some things. also its kind of live reaction so. yeah. this shit is long btw. too much lore.)
no spoilers in tags, but beware that i will be spoiling the whole chapter for people who cant wait for the full translation/people who cant read it
we begin.
>lilia is asking malleus to use the dorm for a “im going away lol” party that apparently the whole dorm is organizing??? damn lilia way to make malleus sad lmao
>MALLEUS IS INVITED!!!!!!! HES INVITED HE GOT AN INVITATION AND EVERYTHING!!! SOBS. he even accepts it this is a glorious day for dragonchan
>uhhh something i dont fully understand but goes along the lines of malleus.. had gao gao kun.. FOR 17 YEARS??? AND WHEN SOMETHING HAPPENED TO THE TOY HE WOULD GO TO LILIAS HOUSE FOR HIM TO HELP HIM??? omg thats so fucking cute help
>basically more talk about how time goes away way too fast for malleus
>lilia comments how the more time you spend with someone the harder it is to say goodbye (bestie arent you going away like too easily then? sus.)
>lilia left and OOP. MORE MALLEUS BLOT. NOT GOOD. malmal is very confused??
>lilia goodbye party already??? wtf thats fast
>so apparently every single character is going to be here (almost...)
>hmh where the fuck is malleus? lol what
>trey says something along the lines of lilia having a hmmmmmm unique??? way of cooking LMAO. lilia thanks trey for his cooking advice (YOU DIDNT LISTEN EVEN ONCE WHAT THE FUCK LILIAAA)
>cater....... hes so sad about lilia leaving the music club :((( he thanks lilia for being friends and they take a pic together waaaaa ;;
>lmao leona appeared and lilia is teasing him so much bcs leona is glad to not see lilia again
>LEONA WANTS TO LEAVE BUT RUGGIE SAID “NO??? THIS IS FREE FOOD??? R U DUMB” HELP
>octavinelle time! lilia basically gives all of them advice (azul dont be too greedy or it will kill you wwwww)
>floyd says something like “why are you leaving actually” and lilia says something along the lines of “i dont want you to see the ?? me?” the what you i didnt understand that part what are you hiding little bitch
>KALIM BASICALLY SAID THAT IF LILIA GOES TO HIS COUNTRY HE WOULD HAVE VIP TREATMENT FROM HIS FAMILY HELLO? and jamil comments how kalim wanted to gift him an instrument but they needed a TRUCK TO MOVE IT???? tf were you giving him, an organ?
>now to pomefiore, vil comments how malleus restored his beauty at the end of book 6 and wonders if they can do a magic transfer (?) of the same type to lilia and he says nah
>BECAUSE HES JUST OLD
>pomefiore is like ? arent you the same age as us
>LORE BOMBSHELL, LILIA SAYS HES ALMOST 700 YEARS OLD??????? (way less than i expected?? lol)
>LMAO THEYRE SO SURPRISED. rook asked if malleus is as old as lilia and lilia said that malleus is younger??? or that hes as old as them??? i didnt get that very well but something along the lines of malleus being way younger than lilia basically
>lilias family members are supposed to reach 1000 years old but apparently lilia was to eager? well not that, like he fucked up by playing too many games and that somehow made him old very fast? what (i think this might be a misstranslation help because it doesnt make a lot of sense. but something along the lines of lilia being 700 or so and his family being much older usually but him not reaching that age)
>cant remember exactly where it was but lilia also coments about how the dragons usually live much longer and that 1000 years for them is like peak maturity, when they become adults
>IDIA IS CRYING BECAUSE HIS GAMER FRIEND IS RETIRING FROM GAMING BUT HE WONT FUCKING CONNECT THE DOTS AND REALIZE ITS LILIA LMAO
>HE FORGOT TO ASK HIM HIS CONTACTS HELPPPPP
>also apparently him and lilia were their own best and first friends in online games?
>oh malleus and silver time! theyre in the main road to the main building
>malleus is throwing a mild tantrum (?) and he made snow??? apparently
>silver fucking crying because he wasnt able to do anything for his dad bruh malleus feels the same
>more malleus blot?? what the fuck thats fast
>UH OH MALLEUS HAS AN IDEA. that cant be good.
>back to the party, first years time
>basically all thank lilia for everything
>i think ortho knows about lilia and idia being gamer friends but wont tell them??? he just said that idia didnt want to come and hands lilia a list of everything idia is playing (and lilia is surpised because most of the games are the same BUT HE WONT REALIZE) so maybe they can play a match before he retires i guess???? theyre so close to finding out but they wont fucking do it im going insane
>idia didnt come to the aprty btw he is the only character that is not there because he was mourning his friend quitting the game lmao
>lilia thanks yuu once again for being friends with malleus?
>HUH? A DREAM???? BUT YUU IS NOT ASLEEP TF
>yuu asks lilia if they can do anything for him and lilia asks the first years to be friends with sebek because poor croc hasnt made a single friend rip
>lilia apologized for sebeks behaviour bcs ace i believe said that he was so rude and said to sebek to behave but sebek.... refuses? lol
>LILIA IS GOING ALREADY AND MALLEUS AND SILVER ARE NOT BACK YET STOP.
>apparently lilias card for nrc arrived 500 years ago but he didnt care back then? so when malleus received his much later he went along with him (and he thanks crowley for letting him enter the school 500 years later lol)
>LILIA IS GOING
>MALLEUS AND SILVER ARRIVED ON TIME!
>malleus is really happy everyone is there
>??? the party said that no gift was needed but malleus is brining lilia a gift anyways, a “blessing”. uhhhh.
>m. malleus is like way too happy about this. hes saying something along the lines of “today we dont celebrate an end but a beginning” uh. not good.
>this bitch is way too happy tf
>BASICALLY MALLEUS PLAN IS THE MUGEN TSUKUYOMI HELP?
>ORTHO IMMEDIATELY DETECTED BLOT RISING
>crowley is fucking alarmed and he lets everyone use their magic
>malleus regular battle HE HAS 300K HP AND REGENS 60K EVERY SINGLE TURN??????? BASICALLY AN IMPOSSIBLE BATTLE LIKE THE FIRST BATTLE IN THE GAME AGAINST THE CHIMERA
>you will lose this battle
>lilia tried to make magic to stop him but says something like “this body cant even do magic like that anymore?!” tf you mean “this body” do you have other bodies like dottore or what
>everyone is scared shitless HUH
>lilia is now insulting malleus calling him a dumbass or smth and saying that he doesnt know what hes doing and malleus screams that hes doing this to not lose him HELP
>sebek and silver are trying to calm things down, it obviously doesnt work
>malleus says something about grabbing his hand??? scary
>he gave his blessing! its a long ass spell btw. i think his “blessing” is his unique magic
>DAMN THAT LILIA SCREAM
>MALLEUS FUCKING OVERBLOTS. ALREADY???
>THE WHOLE SCHOOL WAS COVERED IN THORNS AND EVERYONE FALLS ASLEEP???
>malleus saying something about 1000 years will pass very quick wtf
>”you will become the heroes of the story”? malmal says something like that
>AND NOW
>AND FUCKING NOW
>WE RETURN TO THE TWISTED WONDERLAND LOGO. THE ONE FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME. WHILE MALLEUS HUMMS ONCE UPON A DREAM.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT.
THE TIME LOOP THEORY? HUH?
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OK. UM. first of all, hiiii! <3 ok lemme just gush a lil bit:
1. I LOVE UR FIC OHMYGOD HOLY SHIIIIIIIT
2. god, i don't even have the slightest idea of how tennis works, but this is just so????? like?????? you know. and i kinda get how the play goes?? YOU'RE AN AMAZING WRITER GOSH.
3. i actually remembered most of the characters?? considering there's a lot of em, this is practically a miracle. again, you're goddamn amazing. i dont know how. maybe the pace is great, but definitely THE CHARAS ALL HAVE PERSONALITY/DEPTH??? like, i actually even remembered the side charas!!! mike, thalia, diego, felix, that cool ass girl in that shooting game, etc. umh just perfecto.
4. THE TENNIS MATCHES ALL FEEL SO SATISFYING!!! <3333333 omg. i feel like WUOOOOOH u know. i feel so cool playing a cool talented mc omg im loving it (i play a i-win-everything type of mc becuz im a perfectionist with a fear of failure) the matches me on edge in my seat oh gosh <3 and when u win it somehow just go WOOOOOOOH again!!! AAAAAA<3
5. aw, and of course, my beloved rivals to lovers rayyan <3333 *sigh* the slowburn.... (hes actually my first & only one. i go: ohhh tension!?!? and make a run for it. um, if it's ok to ask, is there a lot of content in the romance area as of now or in the future? like, replayability in terms of romance? im sorry if this is rude, i didnt mean to, i suck at words & i wont ask that again.)
6. FOUND FAMILY YAY! FOUND FAMILY YAY! <33333 (we genuinely lack those in the if community pls.) soulmates w/ sam. ride or die diego. very reluctant ride or die G (imma be honest, his name is just so hard so my head for some reason just go Guacamole 😭). aww tobin u very big cinammon roll ill protect u. shenanigans. & others too many to name honestly.
7. help this is just so good i had to force myself to sleep at 3am for a 7am lecture and i sat in the front rows and i put my head on the table and the fricking professor called me out ohmygod- BUT IT WAS WORTH IT GODDAMN!! ILL DO IT AGAIN IF I HAVE TO! HA! i cant wait for the next update- i'm gonna have this fic in my head for the next week oh pls noooooo. (no pressure tho. u do u author! take ur time!!! ill be here to support u, whoo!)
8.ALL IN ALL, I LOVE IT I LOVE THIS I LOVE EVERYONE I LOVE YOU AUTHOR *runs over & hug you w/ consent* <333333333333
ok. um. that's not it but if i continue it's literally gonna be an essay so i'll stop.
author. i will die for this fic. ahaahahahah. if i may ask, what's ur fav IFs? (i really, really love this one so im kinda hoping maybe u have similar taste in IFs eheh. again, im sorry if this comes as rude or insensitive.) oh uh & if my long rambles bother u, i won't send it again sorry.
<333 okok. take care of urself, dont forget to eat healthy, drink water & good sleep. have a nice day :D
Wait. I think I might have missed replying to this I am so sorry!!! It gave me so so much joy. Maybe I subconsciously did not want it to leave my inbox haha.
1. And 2 -> THANK YOU!
3. Gosh this is such a great thing to hear. There are a looot of characters, and I definitely worry sometimes that it gets to be too much, but I think the IF is getting long enough for me to give enough-ish screentime to each character... though it takes me a while to cycle back to different side characters. I cant believe you remembered the cool ass girl in laser tag! :)
4. AWESOME to hear! 🥰
5. Yup, being a character driven IF, there will be a lot of romance (or friendship) beats / moments in the IF (which is already true now). The next couple of chapters will follow the same mix of sports, school and romance / hanging out, so you should already have a sense of how much romance there'll be (it'll just keep unfolding / developing for each of the RO routes!)
6. Hehe found family is my fave trope to insert in stories as well.
7. Hahaha aww oh no fictional college life is catching up to your real college life!!
8. HUG YOU BACK (with consent)!!🤗🤗
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hehe was tagged by the lovely @wisteriagoesvroom thank u dearrr <33
How many works do you have on AO3?
Only 16 total, surprisingly
What's your total AO3 word count?
70k. a lot of what i write is under 4k words lol
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
they're all genshin fics so i am nottt listing those lmao
(& one of them is dead poets society fic i never finished whoops)
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
i try to! it normally takes me a bit to muster up the courage to respond tho lol but usually yes, as comments are really the only thing that keep me motivated to write
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
again its a genshin fic and i will not be linking it bc it is very cringe . i havent deleted it or anything but im not proud of it so as far as i know its gone . but yeah i killed off childe bc hes my lil punching bag
Do you write crossovers?
no but ive really thought about doing some sort of weird dsmp/f1 thing to connect the ugliest of my brainworms. mostly because c!wilbur & c!tommy's relationship really reminds me of how i perceive lando and max, at least in terms of their friendship.
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
yep, back when i wrote stranger things stuff, but all the things i wrote for that fandom have been deleted off my page lolol
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
yes ..,.and the most basic shit youve ever seen in your life
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
yes? it was a stranger things one i think
Have you ever had a fic translated?
yep! yet another ST one. think it was byler iirc
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
no but i would love to!
What's your all-time favorite ship?
very basic, i know, but destiel and also thanzag from hades.
but from f1 specifically, it will always be landoscar . there is So Much potential in those herbs and i love them dearly
What's a WIP that you want to finish but you don't think you ever will?
the rest of profezia del destino, mostly bc lestappen doesnt move me as much anymore. i might make it into maxiel somehow but we shall see
What are your writing strengths?
fuck if i know lmao. i've been told i'm good at imagery.
What are your writing weakness?
mainly, and annoyingly, dialogue. i try too hard to be waxing poetic but i never know how to translate that into dialogue. and also long plots/anything thats multi chaptered. my train of thought just goes somewhere else completely lol
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
i love to do it but i am not good at it, as im One Of Those People who just uses google translate. im definitely trying to improve on that though
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
if i recall correctly, im pretty sure it was 5 seconds of summer. but it could have also been the hunger games. that was a decade ago so i dont super remember lol
What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?
god. i want to write brocedes so bad. and also norstappen bc the vibes are just so rancid and i love it
and also dsmp
What's your favorite fic you've written?
i suppose through sharpened teeth. but in terms of poem fics, ferrari's satisfaction survey is also a fave of mine .
im too shy to tag anyone so if u see this u have been royally tagged!! thank u again wiz <33
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tag game tuesday but it’s wednesday where i am
thank you for tagging me macy @celestialmickey and jay @surviving-maybe
name: Molly
age: 24
where are you from originally? Australia
your go-to coffee, tea, or soda of choice: I like my cappacinos when im out and about! i like a simple earl grey when im at home though
your comfort film: juno or 10 things i hate about you
how many siblings do you have? I have a younger brother (23 months younger)
if you could take a vacation anywhere, where would it be? Japan, my brother and i are planning a trip rn actually
last song you listened to: apparently it was steal my girl by one direction but i dont remember listening to it
do you believe in aliens? Yeah ofc
what about ghosts? i like the idea of ghosts being real but idk if i think theyre actually real?
it’s 2am. you can’t sleep. you get up to get a snack. what is it? banana
and finally, share something you’ve done/made recently that you’re proud of: i made sourdough today in my yeast-based goods class today and im eating it for dinner rn, it’s very tasty
im tagging a bunch of people because im making myself interact with people again bc i was hiding from everyone and i think i did it too much and i feel awkward about it so hello and obviously you dont have to do this and im sure everyone has been tagged anyway so,,,,,,
@vintagelacerosette @energievie @mikhailoisbaby @ian-galagher @suzy-queued @creepkinginc @captainjowl @gallavichgeek @silvanshadow @too-schoolforcool @michellemisfit @stocious @lingy910y @crossmydna @shinygalaxyperson @twinklyylights @metalheadmickey @look-i-love-u @sweetbee78 @mishervellous @iansfreckles
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tag game!!
thank u for tagging meeee @saltbind <3333
Do you make your bed? life is far too short for that + i usually prefer for my sheets to be scrumpled instead of even and flat anyway.
What's your favorite number? 2 and 4. 42 if im feeling crazay.
What is your job? not telling :3
If you could go back to school, would you? i could interpret this question in many ways and each of those ways has a different answer. but to keep things simple, yes, i would like to go back to school. but no, i would not liked to be de-aged to my teenage years and made to experience highschool again amongst other teenagers. i would rather die.
Can you parallel park? i dont have a license but i think i have it in me
A job you had that would surprise people? not telling :3
Do you think aliens are real? no but also i guess i do but in a way that i dont care much about this question anyway because i dont think any sentient alien species would ever come into contact with humans. i think theres lots of types of bacteria and goobers and stuff on different planets tho :3
Can you drive a manual car? no but i can try :3
What's your guilty pleasure? no such thing as a guilty pleasure. there is only pleasure. i do think incest is hot though.
Tattoos? none so far! i do want plants and animals on me but id like for them to be in a cohesive style. maybe one day when i have lots of expendable income.
Favorite color? green!
Favorite type of music? when i was younger i was a biiiiig metalhead and i am still very fond of it, but now i'm into darker sounding stuff with fun synths and basslines. spotify says dark pop and alt z is what i listen to a lot of, idk about that but it sounds correct
Do you like puzzles? love em. i grew up obsessed with the professor layton games which are just games where to progress u need to complete puzzles and there are all different types and i friggin ate that shit up and still do to this day. i like args and escape rooms and fuckin sudoku. love em.
Any phobias? heights
Favorite childhood sport? netball i only did it for like. a week. but i was devoted for that week.
Do you talk to yourself? i dont know if what i do in truly considered "talking to myself" by real talking-to-myselfers but i do sometimes whisper to myself a bit when im alone
What movies do you adore? more recently ive been enjoying movies that make me think. i feel like ive more recently within the last year or two gained a sort of level of sentience where i am able to watch things and understand. but if we are talking all time faves LABYRINTH and THE DARK CRYSTAL
Coffee or tea? tea! i dont drink coffee
First thing you wanted to be when you grew up? a dude :D
tagging: @rottingsam @spnyuri @degenderates
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um hi guys i made a sideblog for this whole alex thing.. . Infodump below :0 [and a lil edit, oct 2023]
call me whatever you want, Alex is fine if ur used to calling me that LOL, unAlex (lmao) as long as it's not too weird I'm probably fine. i use he/him pronouns too, aromantic. i dont ship any characters with anyone, sorry if u were looking for that here!
I started realblacklightvirus as a way for me to make a funny blog and joke around with my silly little headcanons... combining lots of little bits of other's ideas too (you may have noticed that some stuff that alex does or is or talks about might be suspiciously on target with your ideas... hehe) but it was mostly for myself and creating a comedic space.
Then I started getting more followers which I was happy to have (still am! I'm glad that you all love my alex and the game so much!!!) and now a lot of the people who've I've seen as long time prototype enjoyers interact with me? I've always seen myself as just an outside viewer, watching all these people talk and create about this game that I truly love so I was inspired to make my own little hole, never expecting it to become anything other than a half-joke blog.
When people started role-playing with me, I'll admit that I was afraid. Not of the people initiating it, but because I genuinely haven't roleplayed since I was like, 11 . Sticking with my character was hard because I built him on mostly lighthearted ideas with the occasional angsty lore dump, but I hope I've done well rping with yall.
I am not super familiar with rping rules especially unspoken ones, probably most obvious with me never using ooc notes (I am really into not breaking immersion for myself, I am completely fine when others do it though, i think it makes everything so much clearer and I love the funny ooc notes when the character does something!)
Unfortunately I am also not good with going beyond the original content, so I deeply apologize if I struggle to interact (or fail to interact at all) with your rp. I really have a hard time getting into character when meeting someone that breaks or bends the original "reality" too far. But I will try picking at bits and pieces that work with me when I can!
[Edit oct 2023: just here to revise the above; i am not a roleplay account! Or at least, not a roleplay account of normal means. I will avoid doing extensive roleplay that makes characters do this, go there, do a certain action move, parenthesis or italics or asterisks or otherwise... i will do character talk, dialogue, implied action (there are some good examples when alex replies to stuff like questions, or when hes "in a situation". This is kind of hard to explain but ill do some light, and i mean REALLY light roleplay with a very select group of people.) I am not really open to rping with new people, especially ocs, unless they are really good/well-made and pretty canon-adherent. Even then, i wont really jump into every roleplay convo because again, i am not a roleplay account. I am here to make funny joke and say in-character crap... With occasional angst and minor rp elements. Also i dont stray from canon too far, although i can make exclusions that are plausible. Check out the #alex notes tag for what i think.]
Please note that I think I am neurodivergent... haven't been diagnosed (I understand both sides of the diagnose or not argument, this is not about that) but I have genuine sensory problems, anxiety, and hyperfixations (which is probably very obvious....ahem Alex ahem...). A lot of Alex's characterization is based off of me! I can understand nondirect ways of speaking and figurative language though, pretty good at telling emotions , love ela and microexpressions, etc. But I struggle with online conversations and sometimes I may type something that may seem a little rude - please tell me, I overthink everything I type!!!
Thanks for reading!
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Okay im giving my fallout ocs their tumblrs back! Hopefully nothing bad happens!
💥 mygenderis-c4 reblogged thecoolerscrewdriver
💥 mygenderis-c4
The thorn should let me use my explosives in the ring smh
💥 mygenderis-c4
I mean, they do let me but the spectators stand too close to the edge and end up in the splash zone
👄 thecoolerscrewdriver
Wait what is the thorn?
💥 mygenderis-c4
Its like an underground fight club type of place. Its mostly just fighting angry and irradiated creatures
👄 thecoolerscrewdriver
Ohhhhh its like spin the wheel at nukaworld on tour! Last time i was there i fought a couple of deathclaws
💥 mygenderis-c4
You fought… a pair…??? Wtffffffff
#seriously whats in the water in appalachia??? #for a carnival game???
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💸 mrhouseownsmysoul
Ive got 99 problems and Mr. House calling me a good girl would fix most of them
#if you asked me for an exact number #itd probably be 69 of my problems ;) #marilyn youre a star
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🍀 luckiestbastard
Just got kicked out of the tops. Guess they couldnt handle my swag at the blackjack table 😗✌️
#and thats why the atomic wrangler is where its at!
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⏳ start-startover reblogged uh-ohthemisery-deactivated312282
⏳ start-startover
Imagine being so down bad for a dead businessman that him giving you attention would solve most of your problems
🧠 big-mt-head
@.uh-ohthemisery we were talking about vagueing the other day. Is this that?
🏃♀️ uh-ohthemisery-deactivated312282
Why are you asking me, sir? Also yes
🧠 big-mt-head
Is she vagueing @.mrhouseownsmysoul ?
⏳ start-startover
Why tf did u tag her?!
💸 mrhouseownsmysoul
Oh so little miss “get tf off anon” is vauging me now? Tell me deja, how many times did you kill dean?
⏳ start-startover
Ive made my peace with the failed timeloops. Hes alive now which is more than i can say for house
💸 mrhouseownsmysoul
Ill have you know that mr house is alive and well thank you very much!
⏳ start-startover
Alive? Sure. Well? Now, thats up for debate
💸 mrhouseownsmysoul
You leave my husband’s health problems out of this!
🏃♀️ uh-ohthemisery-deactivated312282
Suzie he literally reeks of formaldehyde
💸 mrhouseownsmysoul
Arent you dating a stealth suit?
🏃♀️ uh-ohthemisery-deactivated312282
Oh uh look at the time
⏳ start-startover
Holy shit did she just fucking deactivate???
#rip dalcia #was kinda weird that you were in love with a stealth suit #but you were cool nonetheless #until we meet again
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🍀 luckiestbastard reblogged big-mt-head
🧠 big-mt-head
@.therealprimmshady what is the atomic wrangler?
⭐️ therealprimmshady
Do you know what a bar is?
🧠 big-mt-head
Dr. Borous told me about how he would sneak into them while attending American High School. There were a couple in Dr. 0’s movies that he showed me. I think Dr. Dala mentioned people watching at them once or twice.
⭐️ therealprimmshady
Well thats what the atomic wrangler is. I could take you sometime if you… uh… want to research human behavior at bars more?
🧠 big-mt-head
Fascinating. According to my schedule, i dont have any other science activities tonight
#sir i need to know what other science activities you have
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🏃♀️ uh-ohthemisery-2 reblogged mygenderis-c4
🏃♀️ uh-ohthemisery-2
New blog, who dis?
💥 mygenderis-c4
Didnt you just deactivate?
🏃♀️ uh-ohthemisery-2
Shhhh…
#i was never here
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👄 thecoolerscrewdriver reblogged not-another-guy-podcasting
📻 not-another-guy-podcasting
Its got what plants crave!
👄 thecoolerscrewdriver
It has electrolytes!
#we do need new razorgrain plants #fuck me #ill be coming back with vodka
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🌌 azurdlywisterious
Okay theyre losing tumblr privileges again
#fallout new vegas#fallout 76#suzie fromme#deja vult#dalcia o’deorian#henri wesson#sir of big mt#harvey wallbanger#felix barnstar#dashboard simulator#unreality
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tagged by @itstimetodrew for 15 questions!! thank u!!
1. Are you named after anyone?
i'm not really named after her but i do share a name with an older cousin
2. When was the last time you cried?
last month when i finished pmd eos again. the music and the friendship and the self sacrifice always gets me.
3. Do you have kids?
no & i dont want to for lots and lots and lots of reasons
4. What sports do you play/have you played?
i used to play soccer & do swimming when i was young but now the only sports i do are mental gymnastics
5. Do you use sarcasm?
yah
6. What is the first thing you notice about people?
how they act like are they quiet or loud or grumpy or fun loving or serious etc
7. What's your eye color?
legally blue
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
scary movies. i have a very particular taste in horror so i dont always like them but i much prefer them over like "and then everything worked out & they were happy" endings.
9. Any talents?
qc calls me mad talented whenever she sees my doodles so in honor of her im showing off my art here
10. Where were you born?
in the us. im a pennsylvania resident for those who didnt know
11. What are your hobbies?
digital painting mostly but i havent done that in a month unfortunately. secondly i LOVE LOVE LOVE messing with vocal synths i may not be good but its like my favorite thing. related i like fucking around in my daw but i dont know shit about music so im just having fun being bad. last year i picked up making character plushies too & this year i want to expand that to trying to make rime's hoodie for myself but i doubt it'll go well lmao. i write if feel like it but its mostly to get scenes out of my head & i dont really try to be good. media wise i like to keep up with the niconico daily ranking for vocaloid songs & sometimes i play video games. i dont like to watch things id rather read books but it doesnt happen often. everyone who follows this account also knows i love to over analyze vocaloid songs too.
12. Do you have any pets?
i live with 4 dogs but theyre more my parents pets than mine.
13. How tall are you?
5'4" or like 162cm
14. Favorite subject in school?
in high school it was english & german in college it was ethics
15. Dream job?
none. i like what i have now where i go in, do my tasks, and get to come home free of stress and paperwork to do whatever the fuck i want. i dont deal with customers or anything. worst thing that happens to me is an egg explodes. peak type of job. but i dont want to do this all my life either.
taggingggg @andromedako @estradasphere @kukiyuuri & whoever wants to do it!
#thank u natalie i have to start tagging u in things too#i need to draw seriously again but im too busy procrastinating a 30 second task
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DMC Questions Anon here!
Before you read this next question:
I was informed that it would be a good idea for my questions to be answered with a specific tag so if people wish to block it they could. Please tag your answers to any question I send you with "dmc questions anon" and I think that should work.
If you wish to be taken off the list, ask. If somebody wishes to be placed on the list, ask. If your anon asks are off and you wish to participate, just make a post answering the question you see going around.
Remember you do not have to answer every question, so please don't feel pressured to do so.
Please also remember to take as long as you need! Do not rush yourself, this is supposed to be a fun activity and I don't want anyone to feel stressed out by trying to rush to answer questions.
Now onto the actual question:
How would you rank the 5 games in the Devil May Cry series? (By story)
Separately, if you want, how would you rank extended material? (The DMC1 Novel, The DMC3 Mangas, The Anime, The DMC2 Novel, Deadly Fortune, Before the Nightmare, and Visions of V, all of which can be found (along with other stuff) here: https://originaldmc.github.io/DivinityStatue/Downloads.html)
If you wish, how would you rank all of it together in one big list?
DMC QUESTIONS ANON!! :D
Okay, I'm gonna do everything together, but i will preface this by saying i have a lot more exposure to some things than others, thus I will have varying degrees of 'much to say'.
DMC 5
I'm definitely biased for this (it's the one that got me into the franchise) but I digress.
FAMILY THEMES BABI MY FAVORITE THING
I just adore the main cast so much u do not understand. So much hype shit happens with em too, it's great. The characters are simultaneously over the top but also very real? Like Dante is the wacky woo-hoo pizza man but also horribly in control of his emotions and how to express them.
The Vergil reveal was so obvious but I dont care. It's good. The depths given to his character through V and Urizen are VERY good.
And NERO- lord everyone in this family has trauma
Also SDT was introduced in this game I'm sorry but no piece of DMC media will be able to top this because of it.
2. DMC 3
is anyone surprised
I love the bois so much, with their stupid catchphrases and horrible family dynamics. it's so weird looking at them like
I was nighteen once. I wasn't like them but I was nighteen.
Also the THEMES once again center around family, especially with the addition of Lady and Arkum. I also love this cast SO MUCH
except arkum fuck arkum all the homies hate arkum
Literally the only reason this is lower than DMC 5 is because no Nero, Trish or Nico. That's it.
3. Visions of V
i haven't talked about him much but I would also gently hold V (and by extension Vergil)
Really I just love this manga because of how much is shown and revealed through it. Everything is really visceral and hits so hard.
Literally everything in this manga stabs u in the feels especially the final shit GOOD LORD
but it really is tied with #4 because it can't really stand by itself? It needs DMC 5 to be whole, in a way.
4. DMC 4
I really wanted to put this above VoV but my DMC 5 bias shown through in the end IM SORRY
also yeah Sanctus as a villian is dogshit, i agree
and some characters REALLY needed more screen time (see: Credo, Angus, KYRIE) but also this game has the Shakespeare scene so....
also I just love Nero and his teen angst can u blame me
But GOD did Kyrie need more screentime
5. Before the Nightmare
Wow the DMC 5 bias strikes again, huh.
IDK man I just love the prequel shit. Like, Nico and Nero meeting is so fucking funny
Also Lucia makes an appearance for the first time since DMC 2 so thats cool
It also expanded the lore on how devil arms work through Balrog which I am SO thankful for.
Also Roc Goldstein exists now and everyone should know about one of the ONLY GOOD DADS in DMC history
Really the only other one I give my full respect to is Sparda, and he died when his kids were like, six. (Dante and Vergil r getting there tho, give em time.)
6. The Anime
Look Patty is the only reason this is so high I love her and if u look at my previous posts u can tell I love her and Dante's father daughter relationship u can pry it out of my cold dead hands
Also the lore with Sparda's apprentices, demon smoners being a thing, and the introduction to Morrison is very nice.
But also Lady was WAY off the mark almost the entire time, and the plot with Patty only really took center stage towards the end so :(
ALSO THEY DIDNT EVEN SHOW DEVIL TRIGGER IN FULL I WILL NEVER FORGIVE CAPCOM FOR THIS INJUSTICE
capcom if u put Patty in more shit I will forgive you (maybe)
7. DMC 1 novel
This novel is weird because it was written before almost all of the other shit so Canon often either ignored it or bent over backwards to avoid it until the DMC 5 era
But I like it. All of the new characters r very good and I love them all.
Grues death STILL hits me in the feels so hard.
Dante has lost so many parental figures ya'll
One of the only reasons it's so low is because of Gilver, the fuck
He made NO fucking sense for the longest time until the timeline rewrite and the retcon that he's a Vergil clone.
That fits his character so much more bur looking at him as Vergil makes no fucking sense. Everything about his character contradicts what we know about Vergil, even back with only DMC 3 as a reference.
Despite those issues, i am very happy we are seeing some rep for this book in the games and other media. U do not understand the screech I let out when Grue's daughters were shown years later.
8. DMC 1
is this sacrilegious?
Yeah the gameplay is good and it was a hallmark of its time but also Dante is as stale as cardboard here I'm sorry
Like his plot is the most uniform and overdone revenge plot I have ever seen and his relationship with Trish....
it's funky in this game, let me tell u. Thank whatever higher power exists that they leaned more towards siblings in later installments because I would be pulling my hair out otherwise.
But the quips r also really good and all of the Nelo Angelo stuff is my favorite part of the plot, so I guess that evens out?
This game was a very good launching point for the rest of the series except u know what
Also fuck mundus all the homies hate mundus he sucks
9. Deadly Fortune
Uhhh yeah it's just.... DMC 4 again with some things changed?
Honestly the reason this is so low is because of my preferred way of absorbing story is through video games than manga.
It's okay. Not trash or anything. It's just alright
10. DMC 3 Mangas
They're ... fine? I guess.
Like the first meeting between the twins in YEARS is very good, but also the manga is unfinished and all...
So I'll just leave it at that.
11. DMC 2 Novel
Gonna be honest I've never read this one.
So I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt
12. DMC 2
Yeah remember when I said Dante was cardboard in DMC 1? Yeah now he's silent, emotionless cardboard.
the villian is bad, the location is okay i guess, really the only saving grace for this games story is the concepts it introduces
Demon civil wars? Artificial demons created by people? Those are cool concepts! So cool that one was reused in a much better game, but I digress.
Honestly the story is probably one of the least sacrilege parts of DMC 2, and it still isn't the worst piece of DMC media based on story. That goes to our surprise contender....
13. DMC: Devil May Cry
DMC questions anon did NOT ask for this, but I'm putting it here so that everyone understands that this games story and characters are SO BAD that I'm putting UNDERNEATH DMC 2
But what can I say that hasn't been already stated?
Vergil is so far out of character he's basically an OC and his turn around at the end makes no fucking sense
Donte is an asshole who has functionally abandoned what made Dante likeable in ANY GAME
The plot itself is the most rehashed 'the government is evil and we must resist it' plot EVER
Even the new shit they added for this game doesn't even fucking work well.
Having demons that look like angels be the antagonists is much more interesting that just having angels and having them do NOTHING
Kat is literally the only thing that I don't have a super negative opinion on because she was NEW and I hadn't watched them fuck up a character I love. They just made a mediocre one at best
Needless to say, I utterly despise the plot of this game with my entire being.
Thank you for the question, DMC Questions Anon! I'm sorry I went a bit off script, but I hope it was at least entertaining.
#dmc questions anon#U can really tell how much of a DMC 5 bias I have can't u#I also talked a lot about characters and a lot less about plot but#characters are the vehicle for any story to happen#so they need to be engaging for that story to work#thank u once again DMC ? Anon I very much enjoyed ranting today#devil may cry#dmc#dmc dante#dmc 5#devil may cry 5#dante sparda#dmc lady#dmc nero#dmc anime#dmc nico#vergil sparda#dmc v#dmc patty#dmc vergil
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