#anyway stream and vote please
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Not Tetris, not today...
*When akgaes get vicious with me*
"It's okay. We are all only human. I'm only going to give back gentle, neutral tones. I'm sure we have more in common than you'd suspect. I will try to see your point of view. If we can't resolve this, we can at least go our separate ways respectfully."
*When akgaes get vicious about Jimin or people who love Jimin*
"Shut. the fuck. up. Shut alllllll the way up... until you reach the top of Shut Fuck Mountain, where there are no more fuck ups to shut."
"I will just silently report and block."
I'm gonna take a bit of a social media break and get right with the lord. I'll be back to celebrate the release of Golden. Y'all be good and have a Happy Halloween. <3
Love, Roo
#jimin#why are people so vicious#congrats to JK for 1 billion no matter what shady headlines say#i'm trying to be so zen#it's not working#roo's blood pressure is pressuring#please help me stay on the right side of karma#tetris seems like a good human being to me#haters gonna climb Shut Fuck Mountain#anyway stream and vote please
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Sitting here arguing with someone on the Bates subreddit about the "give abortion rights decisions back to the states" argument when I literally need to be doing other things. How's ur Friday going
#why am i like this anyway#Americans please please please for the love of God vote#streams of consciousness
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It Always Leads To You
dbf!joel miller x younger fem!reader
summary: it's been a year; now you're back. how can joel be so sure of those old summer feelings in your eyes when there's a new hand holding yours?
warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, toxic relationship, cheating and infidelity themes, mutual pinning, kinda dark!joel, smut, p. in v., pussy pronouns, oral (f. receiving), fingering, manhandling, lowkey forced creampie, ANGST, the taylor swift evermore (2020) references go wild, happy ending cause y'all weak asses voted for it and i love to keep my citizens happy!
word count: 5,199 words
side note: my joel miller era is alive and breathing after this tlou re-watch i'm doing my brother swears it's for him but it's mostly me and my fic/womanly reasons, yes we love gaslight girlkeep girlbossing in here gotta say, finding inspiration for this amidst my wattpad duties and christmas movie marathon was harder than i thought lol. was it worth the wait? please like, comment and reblog to let me know! it's based on this request (they're still open btw!)
part: I / II
Holidays linger like bad perfume.
Your eyes wander through the streets: the roads you've got to call home, the ones where you grew up. They're familiar, but so foreign, it's hard to believe they're the same ones where you scrapped your knees at ten and kissed Joel just last winter. It's as if both timelines, your life, feels more like two separate lives, miles apart.
"Hey, you okay?" tender, from the driver's seat; you're still getting used to the soft.
There's a reassuring smile your way, his hand finding yours to give it a squeeze. You notice his palm is the same size as yours. It fits perfectly, but there's a ghost of what it feels like to have it all wrapped up, looming over your itchy palm like all the yearning's a joke.
You nod. "Just tired. That's all"
He sighs. "If I wanted you to lie to me, I would've just asked"
"I'm not lying" you defend yourself as his pickup truck parks on the sidewalk.
He makes a funny face, and you laugh.
"I'm serious, Nick" your lips purse, a thing you do when you lie, yet he still hadn't noticed, like Joel. "Don't worry"
He doesn't look that convinced, so you take off your seat belt and grab his hand.
"C'mon. Mom and dad must be waiting for us"
"Hey" Nick calls you out.
"Yeah?"
"Who lives there?" and he's pointing behind you.
It's his. Joel's house.
"A friend of my dad's" you answer, dryly.
It was last december when you stood there in his porch, begging. It feels like time has stopped ever since, and you're still right where he left you.
"So will he be here?" Nick asks. "You know, since he knows your dad"
"Don't think so" you shrug, "he's got better things to do anyway. Bitter old man" comes out, with more venom than intended.
"Oh! Alright, sorry for asking"
You come back to your senses, realizing you've shared more than you should.
"No, I'm sorry. It's not that important; let's just go inside"
Your mom and dad greet you as soon as you cross the door. Last year, you'd basically fled away before New Year's, with a poor excuse and a broken heart. They both greet you as if nothing happened, although you're sure they remember your tear streamed face coming back from Joel's house, where it all ended.
As your mom corners Nick with kisses and embarrassing questions, your dad whispers to you:
"Joel asked what happened" you quirk and eyebrow, "wanted to know why you left"
"Eh, it's not important" you try to dismiss. "Definitely not as important for a guy like Joel to know"
"What is that supposed to mean?" your dad inquires. You often wonder if they knew.
"Nothing" you laugh nervously. "Listen, why don't you go and meet Nick, yeah? Did you know he likes fishing too?"
The distraction works with your dad; the same can't be said about you.
There's conversation flowing, but through the snow covered window, your eyes keep glancing back to his own. The view is dark, and you ponder if he's fled as well, the town plagued with memories too painful to reminisce.
You can still feel his hands roaming your body, the lust filled gaze that hid warmth. Every time he touches you, you have to remind you he isn't there: that the lips that kiss you, don't taste like his, that the hands that hold you, aren't big as his, and that the face that looks at you like they'll never choose another, is one you haven't learned to love yet.
Joel's memory cuts like thorns: they sink their teeth into your heart, that bleeds with that blood-colored sadness you're all too familiar with. He's poisoned you. But-- isn't it his love also the antidote for this disease he's gave you?
You abruptly stand up, plate half eaten.
"I-I need some air"
It's cold outside, but you don't care. All you want to do is sit on the porch, and drop some tears, something you can do inside too, but the fear of your muffled cries being able to be heard stops you.
You walk towards the stairs, to sit there like you do on summer days, yet there's now a difference: the snow. So you end up slipping, falling with your butt on the floor.
You yelp, embarrased although no one can see you.
"Need help?"
That you're wrong, apparently.
You don't even need to raise your view to know who that voice belongs to: you know it like a record, spinning in circles on your head.
He offers his strong hand your way, and although the cold wind hits your face, you're back to spring on the cabin: wet feet, bright sun and beating heart.
"I can get up myself" you reject his help, pushing the hand out. You keep avoiding his gaze, so you don't see how he's reacted, yet you hope he feels bad about it.
You walk up to the front door, and it takes you a while to realize he hasn't left yet. On top of that, it seems like he's following you. Just what you needed.
"What are you doing here?" you question, but your tone sounds like you're offended.
"Your folks invited me over" Joel answers, "Says they got a special guest"
"Yeah" this time, you do look back, finding him to be much closer than you thought he'd be. Yet you stand tall, defiant even. "It's my boyfriend"
You savour the way his expression falters, before the stoic façade takes over again.
"Boyfriend?" Joel scoffs, as if you just told the funniest joke ever.
"Is that supposed to be funny?" you bite back. "What? Think a pretty girl can't get a new man?"
"Never said I'd doubt'it" he clicks his tongue. "Y'a could get any man you'd want, sugar"
Ironically, the only man you want stands before you.
"Right" you chuckle dryly, "I think it's kind of funny of you to say that"
Joel's eyes bore into yours, a clash of emotions circling in his chocolate orbs.
"Y/n-"
"Don't" you stop him. Then sigh, defeated. "Let's just go inside"
As soon as you both arrive on the dinning room, your parents both greet Joel. Then, they introduce him to their guest, just as promised.
"Joel, this is Nick, y/n's boyfriend" your father speaks. "Nick, this is Joel, a dear old friend of mine"
Nick, as the gentleman he is, offers his hand. Joel accepts, but you can see the barely desguised displease behind his eyes.
"Wow, strong grip" Nick comments before joking, "you can let go now, I'm not going anywhere"
The hidden meaning of his words, whether intentional or not, hit Joel in the face. It's obvious by the way he backtracks, letting go of Nick's hand.
As you sit again, Nick leans to your side and whispers.
"Is this the guy who lives in the house across the street?" you nod. "Thought you'd said he had better plans. But, see? I told you: no plan's more important than coming to your house"
He's always making jokes, trying to make you smile, but it's done the opposite now. The food has gone cold long ago, yet you cut through the meat with a violence so palpable, even your mom tells you to slow down.
The nerve of Joel, showing up to your house like it's nothing, talking to you like he's unaware of his spell on you, acting like Nick is some sort of competition when he pulled out of the race himself a winter ago.
"So, Nick. How did you two meet?" your mom adresses him, eager to know details.
"It was at a party, actually, through mutual friends. Not a very spectacular story, that I know. What's funny is, she asked me what hour it was. And what did I say?"
"He didn't answer my question. Instead, he said: For you, I'm available any hour" you answer.
Your parents laugh, but Joel remains quiet. You wonder what he's thinking.
"You know" looking at Nick while cutting the steamed vegetables a little too agressive, "y/n actually hates parties"
"Joel" you warn through gritted teeth.
"Really? I didn't know that!" Nick seems so genuine, Joel can't help but hate him. He looks at you, concerned "You didn't tell me"
You can't believe he would rat you out like that. The appropiate word isn't hate, and you don't know how to describe it, but parties aren't really your environment; if you can, you'd choose to be anywhere else.
He'll pay for that.
"Joel" you seethe, an ugly smile painted in your features, "did you know Nick knows how to fish?"
It's a direct jab at him. He feels stupid for letting you get to him. The inferiority complex towards some random guy he just met, years younger, is actually laughable.
"I like-" Nick wants to add on that.
"Well" Joel interrupts, looking at you. "You never taught me like ya' were s'pposed to"
"You never cared to learn" you reply, acidic.
He sips his drink, trying to hide the smirk that's formed on his lips. You can't shut up, and he loves you've stayed the same.
"That means I've got some classes to take" Joel leans back on his chair, relaxed like he's won this round. "Just tell me when"
The tension cuts like the storm that's just formed outside.
"You should stay over, Joel" your dad offers when he takes a peak at the climate, "it's too dangerous outside"
Joel seems indestructible, like not even a snow blizzard could pierce through the rough old man. But he agrees, much to your dismay.
It's probably midnight already, and all you've done is toss around the bed. Nick peacefully snores next to you, and you envy how easily he falls asleep. You've always find it hard to sleep, the nighttime plagued with too many loud thoughts that fill the silence.
You get up carefully, heading downstairs for some water. You sip with tranquility when a noise jolts you from your sit.
The wooden floor creaks, making you aware you're not alone anymore.
"Can't sleep?"
You don't answer, seeing his sturdy figure emerge from the shadows until the dim moonlight shines over his aging features. Silence settles in. Outside, the wind howls, bumping against the windows with violence, like your heart does now against your chest.
"Not much of a talker, are you?"
"There's nothing to talk" cuts your response through the thick tension, the air suddenly suffocating.
You take another sip, but the tremble of your hand doesn't go unnoticed by Miller.
"Right" Joel sits next to you, on the kitchen island. "Won't even look at me, sugar? You've got eyes" his voice drops, "use 'em"
"What are you doing, Joel?" you ask looking at him, tears threatening to spill, making your bright eyes shimmer with pain.
He gets up abruptly, like he's woken up from a trance. He's seen his own pain on your eyes, and he hates it.
"Joel?" you ask again, demanding but softly.
He can't answer. Instead, he leaves.
"Goodnight, y/n" voice raw, many emotions boiling, hidden on the inside. It hurts.
If you hadn't changed, Joel too stayed the same.
A goddamn coward.
Two days have passed since, and now it's Christmas Eve.
You kneel, putting the presents under the tree. Normally, your parents would have much more people around for the holidays, but thanks to the storm, it's just them, Nick, Joel and you.
"I'm gonna miss Mrs. Stone's cookies" you pout, "I wish she could be here"
"It's a big loss for tonight" your dad sighs. "Next time, yeah? Christmas will come again faster than you think"
You nod, still absent as he walks away.
"Hey" Joel pops up behind, seemingly from nowhere.
"Hey" you reply, voice laced with tiredness just at the sight of him. How will you manage to survive until New Year's? You have no idea, the task harder if he's staying in the same house as you are.
"Put this in there, will ya'?"
He hands you a box, neatly wrapped up. What stands out the most is the silver bow on top. Your stomach drops: it's your favorite color.
"Y-yeah" you stammer. When the present falls in your hands, you notice it looks like Joel did it himself.
"Didn't know you were capable of nice things" you whisper. There's no anger in your voice, only loss.
"I'm trying" is what he says, before leaving you alone. Until then, you realize he had been touching you, the skin where his hand was on your shoulder burning.
Dinner goes by swiftly, conversation flowing easily courtesy of Nick and your father, who both have in common the love for talking. It may be your brain messing with you, but his eyes never leave you, fixated on your every move, savoring when your lips open and take a bite; when you lick them afterwards, salt in your mouth he'd love to take off in a movement of his tongue. The ghost of your lips haunts him, cruelly playing with his yearning now that he's got you across the table. It's a few centimeters, really, but it feels like you're miles away: and it's his fault. You're no longer his, and he's reminded of it every time your boyfriend kisses what he once had.
Now it's time to open the presents, and you excitedly raise your hand to go first.
"Alright, sweetheart. You know I can't deny you anything" your father beams, "go ahead. Choose any present you'd like to open first"
Joel's eyes are on you, and you know he's desperately waiting for you to open his first. Maybe partly in courage, maybe partly in fear, but you choose Nick's first: something safe to start with.
"That's mine!" he chirps, and Joel mockingly imitates his kid-like joy under his breath.
You unwrap the present, finding a small box inside.
"Please, don't be another box" you joke, and he laughs.
"You think that low of me? Please"
You keep unwrapping and find a bag. The bag has a small tag that reads: Gotcha.
"Nick! God, you're so corny" you tease as you open the bag. Inside, there's a velvet box, and by the looks of it, you can tell it's jewelry. You gasp, pulling out a silver charm tied to a silver thin chain: it's a marlin fish. "Nick..."
"I know. Marlin isn't your favorite fish, but that's all I could find" you get up, wrapping him on a tight hug. Aware you've got an audience, he leans and whispers "I knew fishing was special to you, because of your dad and childhood. Maybe now" he takes it from your hands, carefully putting it around your neck, "it can also be our special thing"
Joel sees the scene unfold in front of him, his grip tight on the cloth of his jeans until it's white. His jaw clenches at the affection display; all he sees is red.
"What about that one?" your mom points out Joel's present. A pit of nerves forms in your stomach. "I don't remember seeing it there"
Before you can grab it, your dad moves faster, examining the box on his hands.
"It's Joel's" he makes a pause, "for y/n"
You pretend to be shocked, and you can tell Nick tenses at your side.
"You didn't tell me you were close"
"Used to" you correct quickly, despite the knot on your throat. "Not anymore"
"He still got you a present, though"
You don't get to answer because your dad leaves the box on your lap.
"Open it" it's soft but feels threathing for some reason, "I'm curious"
Joel's resting hands tremble as much as yours while you open the present. You reveal the simple white box under the wrap, opening it up.
Your voice comes out shaky as you call his name. And he can see it: the muffled laughters on the shed, the warmth of the cabin's fire, the fogged up windows of his car, the bruises on your tits and that voice, so vulnerable, he can see you on his porch, saying those three words that terrified him so much, his solution was breaking your heart.
"What is it?" your dad asks.
"It's a scarf" the fabric tickles your fingers that wander through the loose strands.
You remember it all too well.
"Oh, it's vintage!" your mom comments when she sees the worn-out aspect.
But just as your affair with Joel, you keep the secret of it's real owner.
"It's perfect" you mutter, remembering better times: ones where he'd wrap the scarf colored as the leaves on the ground around your neck, covering bruises he'd just made while you joked you'd steal it, and Joel would say he'd just let you, that it looked better on you anyway.
You've forgotten the good, so used to thinking of Joel at your worst, like a punishment to endure and sink your shipwreck even deeper. You felt lost, replaying memories that seemed stuck on a loop. Since last december, all you've known is pain; creeping up through the cracks in your fleeting happiness, one you've tried to find to no avail. One day, past the curses and cries, maybe there'll be happiness. But as for now, that day seems terribly far.
As he sees your teary gaze, Joel often wonders were it went wrong. When did hurt was all you had for him in that gaze of yours he can't bare to look that long, not before he's reliving all those seasons by your side, replaying his footsteps on the snow, grass, water and fallen leaves, trying to find the one where it all went wrong. The torture he now wears like a second skin, his agony painted words addressed to the fire of a house that feels so empty and alone.
"We should continue" your dad speaks over the silence, "there are still many presents left"
The night moves slowly, and the scarf you've chosen to wear is now suffocating around your neck. But you can't take it off. This is the closest you've been to Joel on a year; it still smells like him. As the presents run out, you excuse yourself early to bed, only to wake up again in the middle of the night. You want to pee, so you exit your room and walk to the bathroom, your bare feet against the cold wood sending shivers down your spine that only seem to augment when you walk past his door, next to the bathroom. After being done, you splash some water on your face, as if that would make some sense get to you.
"What are you doing?" you ask yourself in the mirror. Your tired reflection stares back at you, in silence.
You open the door, ready to go back to bed when a hand covers your mouth and shoves you inside.
"Don't scream" your cries go muffled against his hand, the calloused digits pressing against your soft skin, "wanna wake 'em up?"
You shake your head, so he lets your mouth free.
"Joel" you call out, but he's facing the door, his back all you see. No sound can be heard, aside from his uneven breaths.
"I'm sorry" he says, and then you hear the small click of the door's lock.
"What the hell?"
This time, he faces you, but his movements are so quick you don't register his lips on yours until it's too late. He kisses you like a starved man who hasn't had a meal in years, eating you out while your body acts up on it's own, the urgency embarrasing even.
"No" you pull back. Your mind screams in guilt at how much you want this, and that's all you can hear aside from his ragged breaths.
"No?"
"It isn't fair"
"To lover boy out there?" he teases, "I know he ain't treating you right, or ya' wouldn't look me the way ya' do"
"Don't, Joel" your tone is icy, "Nick treats me better than you ever could"
He laughs, darkly. "You know I ain't meant that" he corners you against the sink, the material cold against your bare legs; you don't sleep with nothing but an oversized t-shirt, despite the weather.
"Riddle me this, sugar: if he treats you so well, why are you so fucking wet?"
Your heart beats so fast you fear you'll die. He gets closer, his hot breathe prickling against your ear.
"It takes a man to please a woman" he tucks a loose strand behind your ear, "and I ain't leaving my baby displeased"
His fingers pull down the panties until your clit is exposed.
"Look at 'er" he traces a teasing finger over the puffy skin, coated on your slick "missed me, didn't she? Gonna treat 'er so good, she won't ever feel lonely again"
He softly kisses your neck, the trepidation and regret tying your stomach in knots.
Joel teases your needy core with his finger.
"Tell you somethin', sugar" Joel finds it hard to hide his adoration, "I missed 'er too"
He stares into your eyes while pushing two rough fingers inside your cunt. You bite your lip, holding back your moans.
"Need summ help?" he kisses you roughly, smirking when he feels your shaky breath against his lips. He pushes them in and out faster, making your walls squeeze tightly around his fingers.
"Did he ever have you comin' this fast? I'ont think so" he whispers against your neck. You whisper his name through labored breaths, making a smug smile adorn his features. "Good girl"
He proceeds to kneel down, despite the creak of his bones. You see him leave a trail of kisses down your thighs, your legs opening wider in response. His tongue gives rapid flickers against your sensitive bud, aware of the lack of time. He slurps the pulsing cunt, his head moving back and forth while he sucks, coating his moustache on your juices. Joel goes back to the quick movements, tongue knowing your spots and twisting fingers as aid, causing your back to arch.
"Fuck" you curse as you come, gripping the sink a bit too tight.
Joel then pulls away and places his fingers coated in your arousal in his mouth and licks them. He sees the obscene display in the fogged mirror, satisfied.
"Goodnight, sugar" Joel bids goodbye like it's nothing, kissing your lips that taste like you. "Still as sweet as ever"
It's New Year's Eve.
"You're leaving?" you sound so sad, Joel can't help but scoff. In the end, he'd stayed long after the storm had passed, your father arguing holidays weren't meant to be spent alone. So he stayed.
And now, Nick is leaving.
"I'm sorry" he apologizes for the millionth time, "but granny is sick. I don't know if she'll make it another year, so say the doctors. I would love to stay, really, but I have to be with her"
You understand, having lost your grandad years ago. But that doesn't mean you're okay with it: Nick leaving means a clear path for Joel, who didn't stop with him sleeping next room, and certainly won't now, despite not having interacted with you since he ate you out on the bathroom.
He pulls you into a long hug and a kiss that doesn't feel the same anymore. "Will you be okay?"
"Yeah" you nod, "I'll miss you though"
"Well, I'll be all yours when you get back"
You smile but it doesn't reach your eyes.
"See you, y/n. I love you"
Your lips purse after you utter those three words back.
Later at night, the house is filled with guests. The lively environment is restored, and you feel less confined to Joel's claws, so many faces to speak and distract yourself with, compared to Christmas and the past couple of days. You clutch the marlin charm tightly, mind busy wandering to places it shouldn't. Joel stares at you from across the room, eyes trained on you as he sips his drink calmly, like he's won; you don't know why he's keeping score if he already knows it. You wander off to the kitchen, and Joel follows you.
"You have to stop" you speak as soon as he enters, aware he would follow you.
"I ain't do shit"
You turn around, facing him. "Bullshit, Joel"
"Tell me, what'd I do?" he comes closer, and despite your erratic heart and fear, you stay still; challenging.
"You did this, Joel" his expression falters for a second, the weight of last december's crimes dawning on him. "Don't try to make me feel guilty"
"I ain't. That wasn't your fault" he sighs, breath dragging long like a cigarrette. "But this" he motions with his hands the reduced distance, "this it is"
Your breath hitches.
"We can't keep doing this, Joel. Nick doesn't deserve it"
He pins you against the counter with force, gripping the skin of your wrists until you're sure you'll get a bruise. Joel's eyes darken at the thought of your frail and soft body under his rough figure and belly, his strength and your weakness making the job of putting you under his will, so much easier.
"Don't say his name" he whispers, his breath laced with alcohol, "he ain't here anymore. Ain't nothing to stop me now, right, sugar?" Joel purrs as he steps towards you, taking your face in his hands before starting a heated kiss, making you stumble.
This was so wrong, but it felt so right, the missing pieces falling like dominoes.
He was your pain divine: you needed his hurt to bleed and feel alive again. Maybe the red of the blood and the blue of your sadness could paint your darkest grey skies with a happiness you've craved since you lost him.
"Tell me to stop" Joel whispers, tempting like a devil as he kisses down your neck, littering it with hickeys.
"Don't"
Next thing you know, you're excusing yourself upstairs and then Joel goes missing too, both inside of your bedroom.
Your dress was the first thing to go.
"Wear it for me?" you're about to answer, lips pursing, but he cuts you off, "and don't lie, sugar. Don't get too used to the bad girl schtick"
"I only wore this dress so you could take it off"
He kisses you desperately, legs wrapped around his waist while he carries you to bed, and the memories of your first flood you as he drops you down to your back, watching the way you bounce. He has you just like he wanted: moaning his name while he leaves tender kisses on the soft bare flesh.
"Joel-" you gasp. Despite the chatter downstairs and music, you try to remain low as he wraps his lips around your nipples. He then moves to your breasts, covering them with his kisses and hickeys. He hadn't touched a woman ever since you left, the feeling of the rosy innocent skin on his rough teeth making him loose all common sense, the real thing even better than what he would try to conjure when he fucked himself in the bathroom at the memory of you.
He groans when he feels your hands roaming over his back, nails digging on the scarred skin.
"Someone's eager" he teases, seeing your damp underwear. "Is this 'cause of me?" you don't answer, too busy removing the cloth, only for his strong fingers to grab you and stop you. "Don't be shy, answer baby. We got a whole new year, yeah?"
"I need you Joel" you whine, not laughing at the joke "cut the crap"
He pushes you gently back down to the bed. "So needy sugar, want me to help ya'?"
You eagerly nod, making him laugh. But there's no mock, only love behind the sound.
"Will you let this old man take care of ya', pretty baby? Just use your words, and I'll be all y'rs"
"Do it, Joel. Just do it"
You gasp as your folds begin to be prodded open by the fat head of Joel's cock. You curse, feeling him push in just the tip, the sweet burn of your walls welcoming his size making you grab his arms that stand at the sides of your body, caging you in.
His tummy pushes against your stomach as he adjusts himself, his weight sinking your body on the creaking matress.
"'S just the tip, ready for the whole thing?"
You needed him, all of him.
"Yes, Joel. I want you" You say and he pushes in slowly, feeling his cock fill up every empty space that craved for him.
You squeeze your eyes shut as his hips roll back pulling out about halfway before rocking back in. His sloppy thrusts pick up a familiar pace that makes you moan and beg for more, head falling against the sheets as his pace speds up until he's fucking you senseless.
Joel's brain goes blank at the sight of you creaming on his dick and the obscene sounds leaving your pretty mouth. Did he really give this up? He'd definitely go back in time and slap the fuck out of his past self, because there is simply nothing better than having you under him, screaming his name like that's all you can ever say.
"Does he fuck you like this, huh?" Joel angles his hips, resuming his brutal pace. Your body jolts with each snap. "Is he enough for you?"
"Yes" his stomach drops, dark eyes now hesitant, "but he isn't you"
He pushes himself back in, your eyes fluttering shut almost immediately.
"Tell me you'll leave him, y/n. Look me in the eyes and tell me who ya' really belong to"
Your eyes snap open at the possesiveness clashed with jealousy that drips from his sweat-soaked lips.
The confession falls easily, as meant to be. "Yours, Joel. Always was and will be"
He could cum just at the sight of your loving doe eyes.
Downstairs, the countdown begins, but in your room, all you can hear are his soft groans and your pathetic whimpers, and if the people would stop shouting, you could probably hear the squelch of your dripping cunt sucking in his girth with each thrust.
After a few more erratic thrusts, you feel his warm cum fill you up. Joel was always obsessed with how his cum seeped out of you and around his cock. Without thinking, his rough fingers push deep in you, making you yelp as he makes sure he isn't wasting a drop behind.
The countdown ends, and fireworks erupt outside as your head rests on the crook of his sweat covered neck.
"I love ya', sugar" those words you thought you imagined that one time, now real, so goddamn real his voice quivers and eyes get tearful with grief, "'S okay if ya' don't say it. I just wanted you to hear 'em. 'M just tired of wastin' my time"
He wraps your lips with his with tenderness you had only dreamed of. There is still a lot to talk and heal, but this time, his arms hold you like a promise. And you let yourself believe it.
Y/n's New Years' purposes: 1. Break up with Nick 2. Try to explain this seasonal mess to mom and dad 3. At last, try to be happy
cr: divider by @kodaswrld / gif @tomshiddles
#dilfistwrites#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x you#joel miller#joel miller tlou#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#joel miller angst#dbf!joel miller#dbf!joel#tlou#tlou fanfiction
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Vinnie trying and failing to flirt with reader while they both stream readers just really oblivious to romance unless he's told straight up the other person wants to date him, anyway vinnie tries and fails to flirt while the chat is just laughing at how reader is picking none of this up.
–🍑


𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐛𝐨𝐲
“What’s up, my people.” You waved at the camera in front of you. You watch as the chat is filled with ‘hello’s and ‘hi’s. “Ok so since I just hit 2 million followers across all platforms, which is a crazy thing to say. I posted a poll on my story about what you guys would like to see and the majority voted for a collab. So can I get a drumroll in the chat please.” Everyone watching started to spam the drum emoji. “Give a wholehearted welcome to the Vinnie Hacker.” The chat goes crazy with a mixture of total shock and insane comments about how Vinnie is so lucky. You stood from your seat and met Vinnie with a hug.
“You look stunning [Name]. Thank you for having me.” He spoke arms wrapped around your waist. “Anytime Vinnie and I can say the same for you.” You smiled as Vinnie pulled a chair to sit in. “Ok, that was the surprise, everyone. It’s late in LA right now so expect a bunch of content on Instagram and YouTube tomorrow. In the meantime, I’m going to be putting Vinnie in the hot seat.” Vinnie dramatically wiped his forehead “Should I be nervous?” You smirked mischievously
“First question, what’s your ideal first date?” Vinnie took a moment to think it over. “I’ll probably have to say doing a stream with someone I’m currently collabing with.” Vinnie smiled at you expecting some type of nervous response but instead, you just laughed. “That’s exactly what we’re doing, what are the chances?” Vinnie started at you blankly. Were you serious? You held no sign of joking. Vinnie tried not to stress that much, he enjoyed a good chase.
“Which would you Kiss, Marry, Kill? Larray, Jack, or Quenlin?” Vinnie laughed “Damn the big three? You’re not on this list right?” You shock your head no. “I’ll have to say pass on all of them. I’ll save my kiss and the ring for you.” Vinnie smirked. “Aww that’s the sweetest thank you so much. Next question.” That’s it? Vinnie couldn’t have been more straightforward with the male. He looked over to the monitor, and the chat was going crazy.
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@/randomhoe : am I trippin or is Vinnie tryna flirt
@/[Name]edits : smth smell fruity and it ain’t my steak
@/Theylovejazzy : oh he WANTS THAT BADDD
@/user27 : who’s gonna tell him?
———————————————————
At least Vinnie’s not going crazy. “You’re someone who enjoys getting and having tattoos, if you had to pick your favorite tattoo which would it be?” This was his chance, Vinnie knew exactly how to win you over. “Well, my favorite is this spider I got in the middle of my chest. It’s just a hella cool tattoo, let me show you.” Vinnie swiftly pulls his shirt over his head showing you and the streak the tattoo. “Wow that’s so freaking cool, do you have any more?” You asked genuinely interested. “Well yeah but I have some a little lower, I’ll have to sh-“ You gasp. “I just remembered you’re going to have to put your shirt back on, I don’t want to get banned.” Vinnie embarrassingly nodded and slipped his shirt back on.
——————————————————
@/datonegayho : SOMEONE PLS REVIVE ME
@/peaceonly : that was so hot, how is he not catching on 😭
@/its_urmom : I’ll fold immediately
——————————————————
“Well, I think that’s it with my questions if you have any for me?” Vinnie nodded but couldn’t speak, what could he say? He tried everything in his playbook so fuck it. “Yeah um, I was wondering if you’d want to go out?” You quickly nodded “Of course, I can plan something. We can invite some of our friends too.” You smiled and Vinnie just sighed. If only he knew how hard it would’ve been to get a date. “I was kinda thinking it’ll just be me and you, like a date.” You gulped loudly. Your stomach dropped and all you could feel was butterflies. “I-I’ll love-v-e to.” You nervously accepted. Refusing to make eye contact, you turn back to the stream.
——————————————————
@/vinniehackerlover : fucking finally 🧍🏻♀️
@/stinkybear : AHHHHH MY SHIPP
@/gimmiecash : new power couple incoming.
@/user1946 : and they’re both fine wtf 😭
——————————————————
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Hey so I just voted, and friendly reminder to my fellow Americans that it’s your civic right (and frankly duty) to do so as well, and I GET it if you’re not crazy about your presidential options but as a utilitarian I firmly believe that if you have a choice between a cookie and an endless stream of diarrhea going in your mouth, you pick the cookie even if you don’t like the flavor because if you choose nothing that’s one less vote against a eternal mouth full of diarrhea.
If I wasn’t perfectly clear before, in this analogy, Donald J. Trump is the diarrhea.
Also holy shit downballot is so important too, and roughly half of the people down ballot are all in on Team Diarrhea, which manifests in the usual book banning, gay bashing, irrational hatred towards anyone outside a particular demographic white Christian nationalism you’d expect from them, but specifically localized in your home town. Don’t lose your chance to vote against that bullshit through inaction.
Anyway, I moved counties in September back to the county I’ve always been registered in, and when I went to check where my polling place was yesterday, I noticed my voter status was listed as inactive. You know, the thing we kept being told to check so we had time to reregister back in October that I totally failed to do. But you’ll notice I still started this post with “I just voted.” That’s because I picked up the phone, called my Board of Elections, asked what to do, and was instructed to vote by affidavit - in practice, that just meant filling out another form to say I’d moved and this was my new address etc at my polling place and then voting like normal.
In conclusion, if you noticed something was up with your registration and you’re a last minute Linda like me, maybe even a procrastinating Polly, it’s probably not too late to fix it. Call your Board of Elections, ask them what needs to happen to vote, and then go do the damn thing. It’s annoying, it’s time consuming, but you’d take a few hours out of your day if it meant helping ensure that you and your loved ones don’t have an endless stream of diarrhea shooting into your mouths, right?
Please.
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Okay I dont wanna spam my blog so this will be a big thoughts dump on today's Among Us stream that I'm watching from Impulse perspective
- "Skizz is laughing" said by 4 people followed by an aggressive "HA HA HA" by Skizz is so funny
- Impulse: "You're not gonna kill me?" - Grian: "You're the first person I've seen dude." - Impulse: "Weren't you hanging out with Scar?" - Okay jealous much?
- I love Grian with the frog hat I will note this for fanart because it's just so cute.
- HE ALSO HAS A CAT TAIL I REPEAT GRIAN HAS A CAT TAIL CAT BOY GRIAN ARE WE LISTENING he paid for these btw they are pay only
- I'm sad there's no wing customization option
- "You can kill me now" Oh Skizz buddy
- Scar is petty today and thats just so funny "I want you all to lose for accusing me" certainly is a statement
- "Scar lobbied so hard for those two votes." - "One of them was mine Impulse." - "Oh."
- that was about 20 seconds of pure chaos with everyone yelling lmao
- I adore Gem and Tango's friendship
- I wanna draw Etho with that cool hat and a green fur-collared jacket
- I ACCIDENTALLY CLICKED ON THE HEADPHONES WDYM I CAN ADD MUSIC TO MY TUMBLR POST
- anyway listening to Impulse talk about how everyone just throws him under the bus. I need that Impulse insanity arc please.
- Impulse is Imposter now so this will be interesting.
- "Impulse always sounds sus" - "Its JUST THE WAY I TALK. LET IT GO." he says while hes the imposter
- are Grian and Scar running around as a duo again?
- "You got it first try?" kills him casually Impulse I love you
- "you roundhouse kicked me and it was a boss move" please someone animate Impulse roundhouse kicking Skizz
- Skizz: "Wanna hang out?" - Pearl, disgusted: "No"
- Grian getting spooked and yelling "Skizz??" was the cutest
- Imposter Impulse is my favourite thing
- "Your honor, I just don't vibe with him so lets kill'em" Gem as a lawyer, probably
- its always either Impulse or Pearl
#hermits play among us#live blogging#grian mc#impulsesv#skizzleman#goodtimeswithscar#geminitay#tangotek#ethoslab#pearlescentmoon
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M*A*S*H fans: help me with my cultural studies paper!
if you saw the old version of this with the poll time span wrong no you didn't. ANYWAY
please reblog when you vote so i can get the most data and, if you feel comfortable, include some or all of the following:
your age/age group
if you identify as queer and/or trans
how you watch/ed the show (streaming? physical media? 🏴☠️?) and when
as much explanation of your answer as you want AND if i can potentially DM you to follow up and ask to quote you
THANX
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Time of the Month - Choso Kamo
Pairing: Choso Kamo x gn! reader (tho reader menstruates and is able to get pregnant)
Genre: hurt/comfort fluff
Word Count: 930
Summary: Choso is distraught to wake up one night smelling your blood
CW: menstruation, talks of blood, awkward conversations, Choso panics a lil, established relationship, mostly hurt comforty
WE'RE SO BACK!! had this idea for a while but im so glad i finally wrote it. was VERY tempted to turn this into smut but ugh. anyways, enjoy guys!
(also!! we are doing a vote rn over what we wanna do for valentine's day, so if you're interested, vote here)
Choso smells blood when he wakes up. The coppery tinge floods his senses, invading his nose, resting on his tongue. He sits up straight and rubs at his arms. He can feel the pull of it tingling in his fingers as if speaking to him, beckoning him closer.
His head snaps to the bathroom door. Light streams through the crack under it, and it’s only then that he realizes you’re no longer in bed with him. The blood pulls him again—pulls him to the bathroom door. What’s happening? Are you bleeding?
He rubs the sleep from his eyes and forces himself to his feet, dragging them the whole way across the room. He swallows his panic, and knocks on the door softly. “Y/n, are you in there? Is everything okay?”
Choso’s voice snaps you out of your daze. You push yourself away from the counter you were leaning against, immediately missing the pressure of the cool tile, and dry your hands on the towel. You’d snuck out of bed a little while ago when you started cramping, utterly disappointed to learn it was your time of the month once again.
“I’ll be right out,” you call, voice strained from the ache in your abdomen.
Choso frowns. Although he can’t see you, he knows something is wrong. The stench of blood still clouds his senses—and have you been crying? His thoughts race, thinking of all the ways you could be hurt in there.
He sighs and leans his head against the door. “Is something wrong?”
You open and close your mouth, hoping for an explanation to come out, but all of your words have abandoned you. You know that there are gaps in Choso’s knowledge, especially regarding human reproduction, but you never quite know what to say to him. Especially now.
“Are you hurt?” He calls when you don’t answer. “I smell blood. Please just—talk to me.”
You cringe. Of course he does. You’ve seen him perform much more impressive feats with blood before, sensing it is juvenile to him. You clutch your stomach and gain your strength, breathing deeply.
“Y/n?”
You unlock the door, head hanging as you step into the bedroom. “I’m okay—”
Choso pounces on you before you can finish your sentence, cupping your face with both hands to examine you. His dark eyes dart across your body faster than you can register, his hands sliding down your sides. You relax in his grasp and offer no protest.
He nods in satisfaction, leaving his hands on your hips. “You’re okay.”
“I’m okay.”
“But,” the dark marks on his face crinkle in confusion, “you’re bleeding?”
You gently grab his hand and lead him to the bed with you. You’re not quite sure how to phrase it, but you’ll bear the awkwardness if it soothes his mind. Just as you sit down, you double over in pain from your cramps.
You desperately press your hands against the aching muscles and squeeze your eyes shut to brace yourself. Choso tilts his head at you, concern flaring in his eyes.
He waits for you to recover before asking, “what’s going on? Talk to me, love.”
You cast your gaze to his lap, to the spot where his bare torso meets the waistband of his black sweats. You reach for one of his hands to trace over. His skin is nice and cool, perfectly grounding you as you draw circles over his palm. He eases under your touch but the concern never leaves his face.
“Don’t panic,” you say calmly. “I am bleeding, but it’s nothing to be concerned about.”
“But—” He stops when you shoot him a serious look.
“It’s my period. It’s just something that happens every month. It’ll stop after about a week, but I promise it’s nothing you need to worry about.”
“This happens to you every month?”
You nod solemnly. “Unless I get pregnant.”
Choso considers this. From what he knows about sex, it makes sense. That doesn’t mean he likes it, though, especially when you seem to be so uncomfortable with it.
“And it hurts?” He asks.
“Sometimes,” you say. “It comes in waves and on some days, it’s worse than others.”
He squeezes your hand reassuringly, the other trailing up your cheek. He lifts your head up until his eyes meet yours. “Can I do anything for you?”
You let out a breathy laugh. It’s touching, really, the lengths he’d go to make you feel better. You’re sure if he could, he’d try and use his technique on you if it meant you wouldn’t be in pain any longer.
“Can we just lay down? I’m exhausted.”
Eager to help, Choso helps you get settled in bed. He bundles the blankets around the two of you and presses his body flush to yours. Your skin is boiling on the surface, and though it’s uncomfortable, he bears it for you.
He trails his hands up your shirt, resting them on the spot you’d been clutching in pain earlier. His cold hands feel amazing on your hot skin and the pressure is almost enough to mitigate the pain of your cramps. You sigh contentedly and relax into your pillow.
Choso plants soft kisses on the side of your neck and continues kneading your waistline with his hands. The lingering smell of your blood drives him crazy. He wishes he could do more for you, he wishes he could take your pain away.
“So, this is going to happen every month?”
“Pretty much.”
“Does that mean no sex?” He teases.
“Well…”
Your boyfriend cracks a grin, shaking his head at your antics.

masterlist | jjk masterlist
(dividers + support banners from @saradika / @saradika-graphics !!!)
#choso jjk#choso#choso kamo#Choso Kamo x you#Choso kamo x reader#Choso kamo oneshots#hurt/comfort#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu Kaisen#choso jujutsu kaisen
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On This Day in Schitt's Creek: April 29
2019
gay sex starter kit [david/patrick, E, 4,757] by mihaly
Patrick may be emotionally and mentally ready to bottom for David, but he is in no way physically ready to take David's massive cock. David has an idea to get him there.
Hurts 2B Human [david/patrick, T, 2,523] by @wildxwiredmakes
David has never enjoyed his birthdays, mostly because he’s never had anyone to celebrate with. Sure, there were people, but they were just bodies, just faces beaming up at him with fake sincerity as he bought yet another round of drinks. His birthdays always reminded him how alone he was... — OR what I think would happen if David didn’t go to dinner with Patrick on his birthday.
Let Me Be Your Prince Charming [david/patrick, NR, 3,113] by deathbysandblk
David's POV of the night in "Damsel in Distress"
2021
[Podfic] birth is a curse (and existence a prison) | written by monsterbate [david/patrick, M, podfic] by Tipsy_Kitty
“You’ve seen Beauty and the Beast, David.” Alexis is trimming her nails again. They seem to be growing faster than usual, like David’s hair, which is a thing he is not going to dwell on. “The Emma Watson vehicle?” Stevie scoffs. “Are you claiming to have never seen the original Disney masterpiece?” “Okay, excuse me for not remembering an early 90s cartoon like some kind of manual for living or something—” “Anyways, this is that. You’re trapped in an enchantment of your own screw-ups. Congratulations.” Stevie throws her hands wide like some bastardization of jazz hands. “Wait—am I Dan Stevens in this situation? Because that’s not going to work. Like, at all.”
[Podfic] Save the Date [david/patrick, G, podfic] by Amanita_Fierce @hagface @schittyfic
“I could go with you,” David offers tentatively. “Pretend to be your date?” An almost fake dating fic. [Podfic of "Save the Date," written by schittposting]
All the doors I closed one time will open up again [david/patrick, G, 100] by @simplymarleycat
A drabble where David's dreams take him back, but his present quickly reminds him of the truth.
Basically His Only Friend [alexis & johnny, NR, 1,414] by jmda4
(Takes place during 5x13 The Hike) Minutes after realizing that she'd miss her family, Alexis feels her stomach drop when she checks her phone and sees a stream of missed texts from Stevie."Your Dad's in the hospital. They don't know what's wrong.""We're at Elmdale Hospital. He was having chest pain and couldn't breathe.""Alexis?"
Budd is a dud! Vote Sands. [stevie/twyla, T, 7,718] by @samwhambam
Her and Twyla are friends. Not great friends. But friends who get high together at parties and have known each other for a long time. And up until right now, she thought they were better friends than a shitty, mean campaign slogan. The enemies to lovers fic where Stevie and Twyla are both running for the same seat on town council.
David Rose vs the House Hippo [david/patrick, T, 1,100] by @mostlyinthemorning
David and Patrick’s new house comes with a surprise tenant and David’s not sure how he feels about it. Patrick, on the other hand, is very excited.
Do we soon forget the things we cannot see? [david/patrick, t, 5,516] by @kiwiana-writes
David grimaces. He doesn’t not believe in ghosts, and he’s watched enough horror films in his time to know that summoning them on purpose does not, in fact, seem like a great idea. “Is that really a high school slumber party thing, though?”
Fall Off a Bridge, Please [david/patrick, T, 7,661] by @hagface
“I told you,” he says, “You’ve got to answer a question.” “You never said I had to do anything,” David bites back, the pitch of his voice climbing ever higher. “If you’re that hung up on semantics I should clarify that it’s actually a riddle.” “A riddle!” David knows he’s yelling now because he can hear his voice echoing down the bank and through the trees. “What are you,” he asks, “some kind of troll?” “Actually—” the man smiles again, “—yes.” OR: Patrick is a troll who guards the Schitt's Creek bridge. David must answer his riddles in order to cross into Elmdale, where he works at The Blouse Barn.
I had a thought dear, however scary [david/patrick, G, 511] by petrichor_apothecary
Patrick does a bit of thinking a couple weeks before proposing to David.
so this is the miracle that i've been dreaming of [david/patrick, T, 10,335] by @hullomoon
After finally accepting the arranged marriage his parents made, David meets Patrick. Sparks fly and now David has to figure out whether he will follow through with the marriage or be with Patrick.
The Guestbook of David Rose and Patrick Brewer [gen, G, 900] by @landofsonlali
“A home isn't always the house we live in. It's also the people we choose to surround ourselves with.” — The House in the Cerulean Sea A look through the entries in David and Patrick's wedding guestbook
2022
You're As Cold as Ice [david/patrick, g, 1,026] by mindswindowsdoors
The door to the guest room squeaks open and David hears his husband's frustrated sigh. "David, what are you doing?" "Sleeping. What does it look like?" He doesn't care how petulant he sounds. "Baby, would you please come to bed?" "I am in bed. And we are not doing baby."
2023
Mother's Intuition [marcy & patrick, T, 1,027, CW: self-harm] by elifisher96
Marcy is worried about her son and one day realizes her intuition was right.
Oceans and Puddles [david/patrick, E, 12,804] by @wordthieve
A collection* of missing moments from You Can Fall *aspirational
The Happy Years [david/patrick, T, 71,914] by 1ethereal1
The Brewer-Rose Family and their crazy lives in Schitt's Creek. ------ Continuation of The Younger Years
Stats:
No fanworks for 2017, 2018, 2020, or 2024 2019: 3 fics/10,393 words 2021: 11 fanworks (9 fics, 2 podfics)/35,293 words 2022: 1 fic/1,026 words 2023: 3 fics/85,745 words Total: 18 fanworks (16 fics, 2 podfics)/132,457 words
#on this day in sc#schitt's creek#sc fanfic#sc fanworks#david rose#patrick brewer#david x patrick#patrick x david#alexis rose#stevie budd#twyla sands#johnny rose#marcy brewer
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JOJO NEWS: JOJODAY Recap January - March 2025
Hi guys! I had to take a little break from covering JOJODAY due to an internet outage, but here's a brief recap of all the news that's came out throughout the last two months:
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JOJODAY Event
Online broadcast tickets for JOJODAY are available until Saturday, March 23rd at 23:59 JST.
Lottery / General seat tickets are already sold out.
The online broadcast for JOJODAY will begin at 17:00 JST, with the event starting an hour later at 18:00 JST. More importantly, an online broadcast allows for people to (illegally) stream the broadcast via. twitch or other platforms, similar to the last major JOJO event. This means people outside of Japan will be able to view this broadcast as it happens.
The JOJODAY official website (https://jojo-portal.com/special/jojoday2025/stage/) has been further updated, including information on online tickets, rewards for purchasing tickets and terms and conditions for entering the event.
Kendo Kobayashi has been announced as the MC for JOJODAY, with video appearances from the voice actors of Joseph Joestar (Tomokazu Sugita) and Giorno Giovanna (Kensho Ono), alongside Tomoki Ono (can't currently verify who this is..?).
JOJODAY Episode Vote
A "General Election" to decide the best of all 190 JoJo episodes is currently open! Voting closes on the 30th March 2025 at 23:59 JST, with the results being announced during the JOJODAY event.
Voting should be open to every country, so if you would like to vote please visit https://jojo-portal.com/special/jojoday2025/episode-vote/ !
Please note that you need a Twitter account to vote. Only one vote per day.
JOJO X Shibuya
The main bulk of new JOJODAY news has been surrounding this event: JOJO X Shibuya is a collaboration event taking place in the city of Shibuya between March 21st and April 28th 2025.
Various stores and hotels within the city will be participating in this event - A full course menu in participating Excel Hotel Tokyu hotels will be available, featuring food inspired by several parts of JoJo.
Merchandise of the series will also be available through hotel packages and stores throughout Shibuya. The first round of applications to attend both popup shops closed on March 11th, but the second round is currently open!
Various smaller events will be held during JOJO X Shibuya as well, such as a "JOJODAY flag" event and the raising of the world's biggest Iggy Balloon (3.3m tall!) in front of the SHIBUYA109 popup store. Here's an estimation of what that would look like:
I personally think it should've been a big Gyro balloon but hey, you can't win them all.
Anyway, Six photo spots will be opening throughout Shibuya from March 21st, alongside several "food facilities" (most likely serving the aforementioned JoJo food).
That should be all the major details! If you would like to keep up to date fully, please keep an eye on the JoJo Anime account and the official JOJO X Shibuya website.
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Chapter Ten, Home
(Alice X Reader X Jasper)

[Nine] [Ten] [One]
It’s been 72 hours since I woke up. It’s been 120 hours since I, [Name] Swan have been announced as a missing person. The only people who know I’m “Alive” are the Cullens and my sister Bella. She’s been updating me on everything, especially Charlie and Rene. Charlie from what I know and have seen is beating himself up with guilt, Rene is too but I can’t see her from afar, it’s too bright in Arizona. I’ve been in Forks ever since I woke up from the change. Being in the Cullen’s house, having to be hidden from humans as much as possible.
Trying to control my thirst along with my “gift”. Having the ability to drain energy. Like humans and vampires. With vampires, I can drain them of their gift and use it for 5-10 minutes. It depends on how much I focus. It’s really difficult when not everyone in the house has a gift. Just enhanced certain things. Like Rosalie with her beauty and self-control. Emmett has enhanced strength, and Carlisle is more compassionate to not drink human blood. And due to my gift, my self-control is exponential, I don’t have trouble controlling my thirst. Off the bat, I didn’t feel gravitated to drink from humans. I hunted with Jasper and Alice for the first time and they noticed my eyes already turned that golden color.
Today, right now, I’m going to try and convince Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme to let me go home. Let me see my dad and let the world know I’m okay so I can go back to high school. Even though I am technically dead I still want to experience my senior year. They let me call Charlie once, with a minute phone from a random store that we had to destroy immediately after. I told him I was okay, sounding like I was out of breath but I told him he would see me soon and not to worry. Of course that doesn’t stop nor stunt his worrying even for a little bit.
With me being hidden I’ve become closer to everyone, even Edward. And with that, I thought I could get his vote of letting me out of here. But he sat with my partners, not agreeing with me.
“Hey, guys.” I walk into the living room where the four I needed sat comfortably on the couch. “Hey, lovebug.” Alice smiles and I roll my eyes at the nickname she refuses to drop. I stood in front of them with my arms crossed. “What’s up, darling?” Jasper asks, Carlisle nods wanting to know as well. “I want to see my dad.” I sternly state, getting right to the point. I feel the energy of the room shift. “[Name], we talked about this.” Carlisle starts but I cut him off. “It’s dangerous, I know but I feel like I can do it.” I plead, practically begging with the, “I have to miss out on a huge life experience! I want to go to prom! Please, it’s in four days.” I exclaim, pressuring them as I try to guilt them the best I can.
“And we’re sorry, [Name], truly we are.” Esme steps into the conversation. “Please, my dad is killing himself because of guilt!” If I could cry there would be tears streaming down my face right now. I watch Alice and Jasper exchange looks at each other then turn to Carlisle. I furrow my brows as they sat there quietly before Carlisle stands up. “There’s nothing you will say that will change our minds and I’m sorry. Our answer still stands as a no.” He tells me sincerely and I squeeze my eyes shut for a second, my hands balling into fists.
“Figures. You should’ve just killed me. I would’ve come back anyways.” I snap, storming outside, not daring to look any of them in the eyes.
I end up near the border of the forest that is across from Charlie’s house, close but far enough that he wouldn’t even sense or see me. I watch him talking with Billy Black and Jacob who were holding stacks of papers with my face on them and right above my face is the word “Missing.” In big bold red letters. I painfully watch all of his mannerisms, they’re slow almost robotic. “Let us know if you hear anything, Chief,” Jacob says to my dad who only nods.
Billy puts his hand on my dad's arm. “She’ll come home, Charlie.” Again he only nods and the two take it as their cue to leave. He’s been like this ever since he was told by Arizona’s cops that they saw my DNA off of the sidewalk outside Rene’s house. I don’t understand how my blood got all the way over there but it freaked him and Rene out.
I notice him lift his head up and I rush away, knowing he’s going to look in the trees. He does it every day as if I’m going to be walking out of them. He’ll be right one day. Just not today. I’m hoping I can come home soon, I know that if I don’t he’s going to have to resign as Chief, maybe even as a cop just because of how he’s acting. He’s been calling everyone who has claimed they saw me. Some were prank calls which made me want to murder them for being so awful to a man who just wants to see his youngest daughter again.
I hear footsteps running this way, slow ones so definitely a human. Having nowhere to run I climb up a tree skillfully quiet and sit up on a branch and look down.
“I can’t believe it’s the chief's daughter though.” It was a random girl and boy who looked around the age to be in college. “She’s most likely dead by now. Statistically wise.” The boy responds he’s technically not wrong. “I wonder if she’s a runaway though who just doesn’t want to go home.” The girl ignored his words about me being dead. People have their theories that’s for sure.
Once I know they’re gone and out of sight, I make my way back to the Cullen house. I sat outside on the steps, not even minutes later I hear the door open behind me, two pairs of feet making their way to me. “Hey,” Alice plops down next to me as Jasper goes off the steps and stands in front of us. “What?” I say defensively, not giving them eye contact. “We understand-” “No, don’t even start that bullshit.” I scoff, “I get we’ve all been changed into a vampire.” I laugh at myself at how crazy that sounds. “I don’t get to experience high school anymore. I don’t get to enjoy sports or prom which I didn’t even want to go to but now that I’m dead I want to! Realizing that I have never got my happy ending. I never go to die old, I got it all taken away from me multiple times!” I wanted to scream, to feel my heart race or at least run out of breath as I talked but I got none of that. “[Name], look at me,” Alice says but I didn’t move an inch. “We have a proposal,” She tells me.
I hesitantly move to finally look at her, listening to what they have to say. “We thought about what you said. We all talked it out.” She glances over to Jasper, who ends up carrying on the conversation. “We’re going to allow you to see Charlie. But before you get excited we need to make sure you’re ready.” He tells me, my eyes light up, I sit up straighter and turn to Alice then back at him excitedly. “Really?” I grin.
“Yes, we are going to take you out of town. See how you do in a crowd.” He explains further, stepping closer and I stare up at him happily. Sliding my hands up his legs to his jean pockets. Well, not without having Alice on my lap. “I love you both. I’m sorry for saying I wished you killed me.” I lean my head on Alice’s shoulder.
The next day everyone ended up coming into the city with us. Well except Carlisle and Esme. But I had to cover up pretty well. Wearing a mask and sunglasses along with a baseball cap. I was trying to cover anything that could stand out. I had Jasper and Alice’s hands in mine as we started going into a crowded area. I feel like I should be having a reaction but I am not. I’m perfectly fine. It started to make me go back to the first time I met Alice and Jasper. My smell never bothered them. It only bothered James out of everyone. I let go of them and go further into the crowd. Breathing it all in.
I can definitely smell a difference but not a difference that made me feral. I definitely am questioning things now.
I glanced back to my family and I jumped up and down. Rosalie put her thumbs up as Emmett was chuckling. Even Edward smiled at me. Alice and Jasper seemed iffy but they brought me into their arms. “Let’s go make you look a little rough.” Rosalie steals me from my lovers. We race back to the house and she pulls my mask off for me. I gently take off my sunglasses. I get changed into my clothes from the day of the attack in Arizona. I also have to put contacts in of my original eye contact. We go outside and roughen up my hair a bit. We all stand outside. “Alright, we’ll see you later.” Alice skips over to me, pulling me into a kiss. Jasper comes in and forces me into a kiss as well and I laugh at the both of them. “Bella texted, they just got home,” Edward speaks up, and I push away from both of them. “Thank you,” I tell him and I wave everyone goodbye, emerging into the forest. Running through my familiar route to Charlie's house, to my house.
I stop right before the road and I notice my dad in the window talking to someone on the phone. I slump my posture and head towards the house, I go up the steps and knock on the door. I patiently stand there, the door swings open with Bella smiling there. After a few seconds she calls out for Charlie. “Dad! Someone’s here for you!” She steps backwards and I hear fast footsteps. The fastest movements I’ve seen him make in a while.
“Huh? Who- [Name]!!” He immediately pulls me into his arms it was a tight hug and I feel tears dampen my shoulder. If I was still human I know I wouldn’t have been able to breathe against his hug so I acted like so. “Can’t breathe..” I tap his back as if I was struggling. “Right, sorry.” He wipes his tears, sniffling and he holds onto my shoulders. “Where have you been?” I shake my head, “I lost Bella, I tried to find my way and this guy tried following me and I got even more lost. I took taxis and um snuck onto a train trying to get here but I barely had any money.” I explain to him, pretending to wipe tears since I can’t actually anymore. “I’m so sorry.” I apologize but his eyes soften. “I’m just glad you’re alive and in my arms.” He tells me and if only he knew I was not alive.
“We need to call your mom and everyone else.” He excuses himself and I laugh in agreement. Bella comes up to me and hugs me. I breathe it in and I realize what they meant by her strong scent. It almost burnt my nose. “How did you convince them to do this?” She teases me and I shrug. “Honestly I don’t know.” I sort of lied, knowing it was because I dramatized how miserable I was.
And the next three days my dad had taken me everywhere with him, not letting me out of his sight. Rene ended up coming to visit with me for two days of the three before having to leave being convinced by me that she should still live her life.
They took me out to eat a lot which let me tell you, human food. Disgusting. Absolutely horrid. All it tasted like was sand, dry, dry sand. But I have to shovel it down like normal to seem well normal.
Everyone has been coming to visit me as well. Mike dropped by and it was definitely awkward. Right now I am with Jessica and Angela in my living room. Charlie has been outside making phone calls still to take down everything about me missing. “When we heard you were missing I like so thought you just ran away or something,” Jessica tells me and I press my lips together in response. “We’re just glad you’re okay.” Angela chimes in, going to take my hand but instead, I stand up. “Uh,” I clear my throat, “You guys want something to drink?” I smile.
“Water, please.” Jessica nods and so does Angela. “Me too.” I go into my kitchen and groan quietly right before listening in to their conversation. “She looks prettier than normal,” Jessica comments. “She’s always been pretty.” Angela tells her. “Yeah, whatever but she’s prettier. It’s strange.” She was practically thinking out loud and I snicker to myself.
I bring out their water to them and place them on the coffee table. “Are you still going to prom?” Jessica asks and Angela’s eyes widen. “She just went through something traumatic I’m sure-” “I’m going.” I cut her off and smile to let her know it was okay. “I don’t want to miss out on prom,” I say.
“Good, we’ll have a blast.” Angela takes her water. “Do you have a date?” Jessica interjects and I stiffen a little bit. “Yeah, I’m going with Jasper and Alice.” I simply say. Normally I would have never admitted nor told anyone that we were going together but I genuinely just don’t care anymore and I don’t want to hide myself. Well, I have to in some aspects but in this one, I don’t.
“So, a third wheel basically?” She questions and I shake my head. “I’m dating them. Both of them.” I breathe out as I watch their faces falter but quickly pick back up.
“That’s different.” “Cute!”
They both spoke at the same time and I just agree awkwardly. Jessica changes the subject which cleared the air a little bit better. I was internally grateful that it was all left on a good note even though I know Jessica was going to spread that to everyone.
A few hours later Billy, Jacob, and Embry ended up coming over. We stood outside and they had practically jumped out of the car, lifting me up. I did my best to warm my body before they came. Wearing a thick sweater and jeans along with keeping my hands on a really hot coffee pot.
“You have no idea how worried we were!” Jacob exclaims and I sheepishly rub the back of my neck after they put my back down. “Seriously everyone was on the lookout. You were on the flipping news.” Embry tells me and I nod. “You aren’t the only ones to tell me that.” I laugh.
I turn to Billy and my dad was behind him. “Hey, sweetheart.”
“Hey, Billy.” I smile softly. “Boys, could you come to help me with something in the back?” Charlie conveniently asks and they follow him to the backyard.
“You’re different,” Billy announces once they were all out of earshot and I glance back down to him. “I mean being a missing person does that to you.” I nervously say as if that could be obvious. “[Name] do not act stupid with me. I have known you for years.” He takes my hand and I watch for him to at least flinch but he doesn’t even react to the coldness of my skin. I think it only confirmed his thinking, disappointing him. “You’re still welcome on the reservation. Just promise not to become a monster.” His eyes sink into mine and I relax. “I promise,” I whisper. He lets go of my hand and the three come back laughing.
The boys end up coming with me to pick up my prom dress and I’m surprised my dad let us go alone. He only seemed to trust Jacob and Billy the most around me. He had Alice and Jasper come over and he was stiff as a board. Finally knowing I was dating both of them instead of just Jasper.
“So, where’s Bella?” Jacob asks me and I raise a brow. We had already gotten my dress and we were making our way back to Jacob’s vehicle. “Damn, I thought with me being missing for so long I’d actually come first.” I tease him and he stammers not meaning it like that. “I’m kidding. She’s somewhere with Edward.” I tell him and I notice him frown to himself. “Oh, cool cool.” He mumbles. Embry playfully shoves him and we end up hanging for the day.
The day of prom. I’m helping Bella down the stairs as we had gotten ready in her room. She’s wearing a dark blue dress that has a v-line and ruffles down three times. I ended up wearing a deep dark red that hugged my curves tightly, it had long sleeves and it showed most of my back. I almost picked a pink dress but I decided to do me and not match with Angela. Plus I think it goes with the Monte Carlo theme.
Edward takes Bella from me and I stand next to my lovers. “You look beautiful, darling,” Jasper whispers into my ear. I smile, kissing his cheek. “Alice lent me the dress. It was the only thing that would fit over my cast. Is it too-” “You’re perfect. I’ll take good care of her, chief.” Edward tells Charlie the last part. “Heard that before.” He says in a scoff. “Dad.” I hit him in the stomach. The three end up going outside and Bella and I stay back.
“I put two new pepper sprays in Bella’s bag.”
“Dad,” Bella warns as I laugh shaking my head. “And… you both look beautiful.”
Getting to the fancy place we walk in, looked arms and we meet up with Rosalie and Emmett. “Your dress is gorgeous.” Rosalie twirls me and i do the same to her. “You’re one to talk.” She grins, pulling me into a hug.
We pull away and watch Edward and Bella walk into the doors. Rosalie’s demeanor changes but the rest of us wave to them. The night went on to be a blast with us five as we danced together. It felt good.
It felt right.
It all felt… perfect.
The end of Twilight. New Moon is next!!! I hope you enjoyed this and you got to see part of my original writing works I guess. Thank you for reading:)
#bella swan#jacob black#twilight#twilight x reader#alice cullen#esme cullen#carlisle cullen#jasper whitlock#jasper hale x reader#alice cullen x reader#twilight saga#rosalie twilight#twilight imagine#rosalie x emmett#emmett x reader#emmett cullen#charlie swan#billy black#embry call#jasper cullen x reader#jasper hale#jasper#carlisle x esme#rosalie lillian hale#rosalie cullen#rosalie hale#edward cullen
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Megumi x Chubby! Gamer Reader
A/N: I have been gone for a MINUTE so imma try and make this lil story the best I can because I’m really doing this because I had an idea one night. Annndddd even though this is more oriented to plus size girls, I want everyone to enjoy this piece. ANYWAYS…
For today’s stream, your chat decided to play a little bit of Resident Evil 4 since it was a new game popping off at the time. You’re a big horror fan so this makes this even better, but you were a little late to the party, seeing that other youtubers and streamers had already beaten you to the punch. You told your fans that even if they have probably seen other people play the game before you, all that matters is that they are getting the uncut Y/N version so they are in for a good one.
“Just letting you guys know that we are donating to a charity that helps families in need of major necessities so please donate and help the cause. If we do raise past the goal today, I might let you guys pick your rewards. Maybe a 24 hour stream or another vlog, but it’s up to you guys,” you said with a smile.
You watched as your chat was lit up with multiple comments and you just laughed at the excitement of your fans. Even though you probably pull in 10k a stream, you want to make all ten thousands of your fans happy. Also on your youtube channel, Y/N Games, you have already reached 1 million subscribers, which you told everyone was a big milestone. Continuing on, you played RE4 for a good three hours with nothing but a few deaths, multiple donations, giggles, and you simping over Leon because who wouldn’t.
You said, “Y’all, if I was in the zombie apocalypse and I had to have one of my crushes save me...you guys already know who he is.”
Your fans already know how much you gush over the streamer,Megumi Fushiguro, aka Megs. You always found his stoic attitude very sexy and the jokes he made were very similar to yours. You could probably go on for hours talking about this man since you found him way before you even considered doing content. He has probably around an average of 25k viewers and 5 million subscribers on Youtube. You always talk about how you see him at conventions and never speak to him because you were scared of what he would think of you. For some reason, your stream was blowing up the chat about him and that he’s live right now with his best friends, Nobara and Yuji, who are also content creators.
You laughed, “Guys, I will react to their stream tomorrow, butttt I see that we have reached our goal of donations! Thank you guys so much and we can actually take these last few minutes to discuss what you guys want for your reward.”
After looking at the comments for 5 minutes, you have narrowed down to 3 options.
“You guys really want me to come out of my comfort zone with these,” you said with a nervous laugh, “Option One: collab with fav youtuber or streamer. Two, ask out my fav youtuber or streamer. Or three, prank calling my streamer friends. This decision isn’t up to me, so I will put a poll on my twitter so you guys can take a vote on what we should do. It will be open for 24 hours so you guys can pop in anytime to vote. Thank you so much, I love you guys and good nigghtttt!”
You clicked off the “end stream” button and you felt your heart pounding out of your chest. The first two options were already embarrassing because how in the hell were you going to get in contact with Megumi. And knowing your fans, they were not going to do the last one because it’s too easy. Sighing, you got up to take a shower and flopped on your big bed. Just for background noise, you turned on another plus sized youtuber that you always watched do a random storytime while you got to work. The fastest thing to do was to upload the VOD of tonight's stream that one of your mods saved to your youtube channel. since you stream Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays; you didn’t want your youtuber watchers to miss out on your newest gameplay. Next, you went to Twitter and uploaded the poll, feeling a small pit in your stomach. You also saw that you were tagged in a video of Nobara, Megumi, and Yuji rating Youtubers and streamers. You pressed play and saw what was about to unfold.
Nobara said, “Next one is plus sized youtuber and streamer, Y/N games!”
You could feel your face flush up instantly. What. The. Fuck. They are rating you out of all people and the only thing you can do is brace yourself for what to come because when it comes down to being a plus sized content creator, or just being plus sized in general, you have to be thick skinned and not let the hate get to you. But, the friend group actually took you by surprise.
“Not gonna lie, she kinda bad! Megumi, you’re silent. The fans need your feedback,” Yuji said, nugging his best friend.
Megumi looked as if he’s even embarrassed to say anything but he managed to get a few words out as his face reddened.
“She’s pretty,” Megumi said, keeping his response short.
Nobara and Yuji laughed as the chat was blowing up saying he might have a crush, but you rolled your eyes and logged out of Twitter for the night to go to sleep. Even though your body felt tired from the day’s work of streaming, editing, and sending emails, you couldn’t take your mind off of Megs’ face when he called you pretty.
“Maybe I’m just in over my head,” you thought to yourself.
After trying to let the thought pass as best as possible, you allowed yourself to drift into a deep sleep.
Don’t jump me! I know this is a little short but I think I’m going to post them in sections because chile, I’m acting like I haven’t typed in forever. But I hoped yall enjoyed it!!!
#megumi x reader#megumi fushiguro#megumi x chubby reader#jujutsu kaisen#fushiguro megumi#fushiguro megumi x reader#jjk megumi#jjk
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hey at the risk of actually being genuine for once crazy please vote for ivory!
I love eret. she's cool. theyve done great stuff. adore his vibes.
They're also MAJORLY more popular than Ivory. 1.2 mil vs 68k majorly more popular. nothing wrong with that! im hella proud of her!
I just think it would be amazing to be able to see a smaller creator win one of these. We got Joe Hills to the end of mcytblr sexyman!!! Joe Hills!!!!! And it was one of the greatest feelings in the world - against the odds of submissions like Scar and Etho and Wilbur Soot, we got Joe Hills to the end. They deserved it and we Got Them There.
And I think we can do that for Ivory, too.
She's not only funny, badass, skilled, and genius, but on top of all of that, she's Kind and she puts in the work!!! Have you seen her videos? The editing and cinematography that goes into them is STUNNING. The thought that goes into the freaking ANGLES of her videos????? She went over one of her videos on stream ("Becoming Minecraft's Greatest Hunter") and pointed out how in different frames different characters were closer, farther, higher or lower due to angles, in frame and out of frame- all pointing out who has the power in the conversation, who is known, who is a stranger, it's actually fascinating. NOT TO MENTION SHE MAKES HER OWN MUSIC ?????? AND IT BANGS ???????? you can find clips of her singing sometimes too and gosh she has Such a pretty voice
The progress she's made over these past few years is just, awe-inspiring. Even with the challenges she's faced she hasn't given up- in or out of character.
AND HER STORY TELLING DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HER STORYTELLING ITS SO FUCKING GOOD OH MY GOODNESS
anyways. sincerity over vote Ivory or I break into your house and eat all of your lemons and unlace your shoes 🔫
ahhhhhhh Ivory seems so cool!!!!! one of these days i'll finally get around to watching her and face my fear of new things
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Everyone: YouTube is such a garbage platform! It only cares about ad money and exploiting creators, and they have frankly draconian rules about what you can say or show, and sometimes even if you follow all the rules you'll either lose your money and viewerbase to demonetization, and there's basically no way to fix that unless you are a huge creator who makes a massive stink about it on Twitter, or to the algorithm just deciding your videos aren't worth promoting anymore. I hate how many ads there are too, 2+ prerolls, midrolls, and ones at the end?? Tons are unskippable and they often contain triggering content with NO warning. And like, half the sponsorships are for corrupt scams and full of lies. And ugh the switch to prioritizing short from content is fucking over anyone who doesn't want to make discount tiktoks. Plus they're trying to stop people from using adblocker in fucked up ways. And on top of all that Google is just straight up evil. YouTube really does suck these days :/ I feel bad for the creators I love who are stuck using it.
Watcher: YouTube was a good place for our shows at first, but as you all know if you want to make money here you have to compromise the types of content you want to make to please the algorithm and advertisers, and we don't want to make content for them, we want to make quality TV shows for and supported by our viewers, so we can grow and offer even more, much higher quality stuff, so it's time to open our own independant streaming service. It's as cheap as we can make it, and we also want to give our fans more control and so there's a deal if you sign up now where you get 30% off for the first year and can vote on our next show, plus we will never implement any measures to prevent account sharing, one person can share with whoever they want. We're still going to upload trailers and premiers on YouTube, and we will NOT be deleting anything that's already up here. We hope you can support us, because it's your support that matters to us more than anything else.
Everyone: Oh my god you guys are such assholes who hate poor people, what the fuck is your problem!! How dare you abandon us, here's a huge paragraph about how your shows are the only thing that makes my life worth living because [xyz systemic issue], just so you know you're actively ruining our lives by trying to get rid of ads, make better content, and focus on what the viewers want. Why didn't you switch to Nebula or something?? Idc if that's not how it works. Fuck you all, I'm going to go review bomb all your videos. This is so evil and scummy. Also, I'm pissed because people are claiming this isn't avaliable in the rest of the world, even though no one has offered a single source to back it up. Anyway back to watching Dropout, a service you have to pay for, which I'm not mad about at all.
Me:
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So I'm being reported...?
I came back from a 2 hour PET scan to find I'm being mass reported for "hating JK" and "spreading mis-info."

Let me just tell you something right now. I don't state things willy-nilly; I do my best to find credible sources. This is the best source I can find on the rules around combined streams:
Spotify can link the tracks if there are matches to audio fingerprinting, artist names, track names, and ISRC codes.. [...] Tracks that are linked will subsequently share a play count.
Source:
So as far as I can tell, Seven tracks that share an ISRC are being combined in counts on Spotify. However, if anyone gets better info from Spotify, PLEASE let me know and I will of course update and work to spread the new info!
And, look, I may not be going berserk like I did for Face, but I stream, buy, and vote for Jungkook and all the tannies--of course JK and Taehyung, too. It's what Jimin would want, and it's what I feel is right.

I'm OT7; I will never hate on any of our boys. I hope my character and my actions always speak for themselves, but if I lose my Twitter account--which I also use to vote for all 7 for awards, by the way--perhaps that's a sign from the universe that the environment there is too toxic to stay anyway.
No matter what happens, I'll still be supporting BTS to the best of my ability.
Love, Roo
#jimin#jungkook#jikook#what is even happening to our fandom?#i NEVER shade people#i am allergic to drama#why are people so mean-spirited?
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Well, as long as we're rafting the temporal streams, might as well head back to Dormont. Got some errands to run in the past.
I'm like 98% sure you're trying to flirt with me but you're too nervous to actually go through with it. Would you please just finally ask me out so I can rock your evening?
Look, be glad I was tasteful enough not to go for the other pun.
My guy, what could possibly compel you to think I'm not comfortable with basic human conta--
...you know what, that's fair. I guess I do go out of my way to minimize any and all possible exposure of physical features, don't I?
Anyways, go on and get out of here while I chat with my Lemonfriend.
Oh, I've always liked you. I'm just also creeped out by you. Two things can be true.
...huh. If I can die here in Dormont, then... that does make things easier. I was planning on throwing myself on a Tear once we got into the House since you said I can loop forward as well as back, but dying here in town would save me some time.
Oh shit yes. I'd love the ability to call you and chat about what I'm seeing while the rest of the crew looks at me like I've lost my goddamn mind.
Especially since the ultra-secret fourth sign is making a phone shape out of your fingers and then talking on it. That's hilarious.
This.
This is it.
This is the key to killing myself in Dormont.
...
I should probably wait until I've finished up here.
OH
ISA
I didn't realize you come up here after we're done. I don't have anything else to talk about but it's great seeing you up here.
Didn't accomplish as much here as I expected to. But at least we can take another crack at that desk drawer.
Okay between this and the rock switch, I no longer have any confidence in my own ability to do my job. It's distressing that each setback thus far has been the fault of a bad d20 roll on the primary reason that I'm with this party.
Ha! Rock trap for the Rock key. I get it.
Really? They're frozen in time right now but I am looking for a book. You think they might have set it out for me in advance? That would be awfully nice of them.
Oh shit. There was a person in town who sometimes thinks they have a sister but can't recall where they moved to. That shit got super weird. This has to be related.
No idea how it's related to our current mission. But. It's gotta be related.
Always trust in the puns. The puns are life. The puns are the secret of the universe. Those who do not heed their wisdom face the ultimate punishment.
So the Rock Key was in a room guarded by a huge rock and the Paper Key is in the library. I am. Kind of. Terrified. Of where the inevitable Scissors Key will be found.
And one Star Crest. Well. *heavy sigh* Shit.
Gonna have to temporally save-scum this one.
Can't argue with that. Isa's my brofriend-maybe-more so his vote automatically weighs more than anyone else in this--
................
Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
Okay. It's okay. We can work this out mathematically.
Isa, as previously noted, is worth a million points because he's a precious slab of adorableness who flirts with me in the cutest ways imaginable and I'm super feeling it.
Mira, meanwhile, is worth half a million points because she's also awesome and cool and she's our wonderful team leader and I adore her.
Bonnie is worth infinity points because they are a child whose hopes and dreams we are responsible for and I don't want to let them down.
However, Odile is worth zero points because she's mean to me and sometimes makes me want to cry. I still haven't forgotten that crack, Odile. Even though you have because it was in another time loop.
If we add them together, then Team Beauty is worth a million and a half points, but Team Age is worth infinity points.
However my sign is Scissors, and the shape of Scissors forms a multiplication symbol, not a plus symbol. Which means that Team Beauty is actually worth 500,000,000,000 points while Team Age is worth 0 points.
Thus, the objective and entirely unbiased answer is that Team Beauty wins.
I'm sorry, Bonnie! But math never lies. We must go south. It is our destiny to go south.
I know you will. It is my destiny to have a future filled with spuds. I accept my fate, but I do not apologize.
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