#anyway she silly on my willy till i | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jiminspjm · 5 years ago

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Seins + M. Yoongi

❋ “my boobs look like mosquito bites.”

⇢ characters : demon!min yoongi x oc [established relationship]

⇢ rated: [m] mature audiences

⇢ genre: angst, fluff, smut, slice of life, action, slow burn, fantasy, humor

⇢ glossary: unprotected sexual intercourse [dont be silly wrap ur willy], nipple play, dirty talk, slight dom!yoongi [he is actually a softie shh], slight tit slapping, spanking, grinding, oral [f recieivng], piercings.. ahem, squiriting, this is basically just filthy, impregnation kink [slight], rough-ish sex, cum, cum & cum, creampie, is that it?? oh aftercare too lol

⇢ index: 5.4k

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You wouldn’t call yourself an insecure person. Not even when Lily Yang said your chest looked like ant hills in the seventh grade, or when Lee Hyun said your ass was flatter than a piece of paper your freshman year. Children are brutal. You probably did squats for a year straight until genetics kicked in and you actually got an ass, and Lee apologized and you told him that his dick looked like a shrimp. Anyway, genetics graced your ass but sadly your boobs looked like a deflated balloon. Honestly if you could, you would get a boob job. Yoongi said no, and his reasoning was because he didn’t feel like sucking on plastic. But also because your nipples are so sensitive and he thinks its cute that your tits fit in the palm of his hand.

Okay, so maybe you were insecure every time you went to the beach and you saw girls with perky boobs, all bouncing and bubbly, and eyeing your boyfriend like a fresh piece of meat. You try not to show it because Yoongi said he will spank you until your ass is bright red anytime you comment something about boobs. It's a win win, in some situations. But god dammit you can’t help but feel insecure when your boyfriend is sex on legs. You are deep in thought as you sit with your best friend Cho at your favorite café on a particularly hot summer day. A thought comes to mind causing you to look at Cho who is sipping on her coffee.

“Cho what if I got nipple piercings?” You said, resting your chin in the palm of your hand, looking at the baristas bustling around the café.

Cho choked on her green tea latte, short coughs came from her mouth and she tried to choke down the liquid. You started at her, stirring your straw in your iced mocha.

“I-I’m sorry, what?” she finally got out, a rasp in her tone and she held her hand up to her chest. You looked at her, eyeing the dark hair that fell from her ponytail.

“Yeah. I mean, I dunno, what have I got to lose?” You shrugged, bringing the straw up to your lips.

“Uh, how about a nipple?” Cho said, smacking her palm on the table, eyes wide as she looked at you. You held back a snort, as you leaned back in your chair. Your eyes wandered to Cho’s supple chest, constrained by her white tube top. “Babe I really don’t understand why you’re so insecure…” Cho mumbled, bringing her drink up to her mouth.

Rolling your eyes, you pouted at her. “I’m not. Well maybe. It’s just my chest is small. I don’t know what difference having nipple piercings would make.” You spoke truthfully. Cho sighed, placing her cup back down on the ceramic plate.

“I mean, that's the point, what difference would it make. if that’s But what you want. You’re a grown ass woman,” Cho spoke, picking at her nails. Your eyes widened, surprised she actually encouraged you to do it.

“You’re serious?” You asked incredulously. Leaning across the table. She nodded, poking your nose.

“Yeah, I don’t see why not. I’m sure Yoongi will like them,” Cho said, a smirk rising to her face and warmth seeping over yours. You quickly parked your bottom back on your seat, the legs scraped quietly across the scuffed wood flooring. You thought of your boyfriend Yoongi, who was currently running errands in hell.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Min Yoongi, first in line to the throne in hell, successor of his brother Kim Seokjin. Bleached hair, tattooed, piercings, no filter, but really the softest baby ever. You practically look like my little pony next to him. It wasn’t an odd occurrence for supernatural beings to roam the earth, in fact Cho was speaking to a friend of Yoongi, someone by the name of Kim Taehyung, a water nymph.

You were surprised when Yoongi asked you to be his girlfriend, of course you said yes. It’s been 4 years now, and you two are still putting up with one another. Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t notice Cho typing away on her phone.

“Shit, I’m meeting up with Tae, gotta run babe. Tell me what you decide!” Cho says, standing up from her seat, tossing a bill on the table and dropping a kiss on your cheek. You heard her heels click across the floor, as the bell dinged and she was gone.

You blew a loose hair away from your face, crossing your arms in front of you. Leaning forward to drink the rest of your watered down coffee, your phone dinged.

[big scary ᵈᵉᵐᵒⁿ (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)]

4:37pm: gonna be home late petal, don’t wait up, loveyou. xo

[you]

4:37: ahh :( okay, loveyou more! c:

Chucking your phone in your bag, you slung the strap over your shoulder, before proceeding to walk out of the café. Pushing the oak door open, the bell dinged quietly as you exited.

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It has been a week since you spoken to Cho about the nipple situation and long story short you got them pierced the day after. Honestly you were really debating about it, that night when Yoongi came home you were gonna ask him about it, but you decided to suck his dick instead.

So basically it’s been a week and he still doesn’t know that you have barbells going through your pert nipples. Your excuse for not having sex was the good old period trick. You would think that since he is a demon blood wouldn’t bother him, which is technically true. But, if blood is coming out of your vagina he doesn’t want anything to do with it. Unfortunate.

Anyway, you aren’t sure if your little white lie was working or not due to the fact Yoongi is a supernatural being, and he can sense any smell in a ten mile radius. That is besides the point though because today is supposed to be the last day of your “period” and the piercings are nowhere near healed. You swear air could hit your boob and your nipples would immediately start throbbing and you wanted to die.

You were this close to going back to the piercing parlor to get the barbells removed, if possible, but you decided to tough it out and take some Advil and a nap. Luckily you could sleep with no shirt since Yoongi wasn’t supposed to be home till later that night.

Or so you thought.

Yoongi came home about an hour into you nap. The platinum haired man yawned as he tossed his keys into the bowl on the table by the front entrance. Slipping off his sneakers, Yoongi ruffled his hair as he walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

“Petal?” Yoongi shouted into the apartment, as he reached into the cupboard. The tattooed man furrowed his brows as he grabbed the cup and placed it on the counter. Yoongi waddled into the common area before hopping up the small flight of stairs to enter your shared room. Pushing the large door open, a blast of cool air made goosebumps form along his arms. Of course you kept the apartment cold so you had an excuse to cuddle him.

Upon opening the door Yoongi saw you laying on the king sized bed, the white silk sheets pooling around your body. Fully opening the door, he walked up the end of the bed. A smile graced his face as he saw your flushed cheeks and messy hair buried into the pillow. You were lying on your back, chest rising and falling as one hand fell off the side of the bed. Yoongi was about to close the door when he noticed you shifting around in the bed. Stopping in his tracks, he watched as the sheets fell off your chest as you moved around to lay on your side.

His eyes widened as he saw the glint of metal on your nipple. Yoongi swear his dick just fell off as he quietly walked over to your side of the bed, and peered over your body. Instinctively, large black wings extended from his back. Another t-shirt ruined. But Yoongi could care less as he hovered over your body. He internally screamed as your body shifted again to lay on your back again.

Fuck.

His eyes went to the silver, barbells that pierced through your perky nipples. Yoongi was 100 percent sure his dick fell off, as he quickly retracted his wings and got onto the bed and straddled your sleeping figure. On his hands and knees, he got real close to your face. Your nose began to twitch as you felt hot breath fan over your face.

Why does it smell like raspberries and mint? You thought in your sleep, as you furrowed your brows unconsciously. Bringing your hands up to your face, you rubbed your eyes slowly.

“Wake the hell up, _ _ _.” Yoongi practically growled above you, his hands digging into the sheets next to you. Stirring in your spot, your eyes began to flutter open slowly.

“For fuck sake,” Yoongi grumbled as he leaned his body down to take one of your sore nipples in his mouth. You jolted as you felt his cold tongue piercing swirl around the abused bud. Eyes open completely now, you looked to see your boyfriend sucking on your sore nipples.

“Y-yoongi, when did you get home-!” you groaned, as he began to swirl his tongue over the bud. Ignoring you, Yoongi took his fingers into his hand and sucked the skin before pulling at the other nipple while he continued to suck on the other.

“Nggh, Yoongi, please! Shitshit, I’m still soree-!” you were cut off with a moan once more, as Yoongi sucked a bit hard before pulling back, but still rubbing one bud between his fingers. You looked up at him through your lashes, his mouth had a slight sheen on it as he smirked at your dazed expression.

“So, baby when were you gonna tell me that you got your cute, little nipples pierced?” Yoongi questioned, leaning down to peck kisses on your jaw. Your jaw went slack as he began to twist both nipples at the same time with his thumbs gently.

“F-fuck, I’m sorry! I didn’t want you to be-,” your cut off when Yoongi gently slaps your tit, immediately soothing the sore skin with his palm.

Yoongi speaks into the skin of your neck, “I didn’t ask for an apology petal, I asked you a question,” he teases, prodding at your neck with his mouth. Your jaw is slack as he gently begins to rub circles around your nipples.

“I, fuck, I don’t know! I know you hate it when I talk b-bad about my chest, so, fuck, I thought this would make a difference!” You manage to get your sentence out, kicking your legs around Yoongi who is still straddling you.

Yoongi hums, still tweaking your nipples with his fingers as he looks at your face contort into pleasure. In all honesty he didn’t care that you got them pierced, if anything it made him want you more. Pulling his hands back from your chest, you let out a shuddery moan as Yoongi leans back on his heels to look at you.

Breathing harshly, your eyes wander to the tent that begins to form in his pants. Yoongi follows your eyes, to his pants, a slow smirk forms on his face as he brings his large palm over his pants.

“See something you like, petal?” Yoongi drawls. Your eyes widen as he squeezes himself. Shaking your head up and down slowly, Yoongi chuckles lowly. Getting up from the bed, he pulls his shirt over his head exposing the ink that swirls around his toned stomach and chest. His tan skin has a slight sheen of sweat as he completely pulls the grey t-shirt off. Sitting up, you begin to crawl over to him slowly.

Watching your movements, he looks down at you, your face level with his stomach. Peering up at him, his eyes are pools of obsidian, drowning you as he brings his fingers up to your mouth. He drags his fingers around your lips, gently tapping the smooth skin. He hums as you look up at him with your mouth parted.

“Ah, your mouth would look so pretty wrapped around my cock, is that what you want petal? Hmm. Your lips wrapped around my fat cock?” Yoongi spoke smoothly.

Nodding your head vigorously, Yoongi chuckled and withdrew his hand. Looking up at him still, he slowly dragged his hand up your neck, gently squeezing the skin under your jaw. You kept eye contact with him as he kept squeezing gently and then releasing.

Before you could ask him to stop teasing you and to fuck you, Yoongi brought his hand in front of him, swiping it in an upward motion. Your body jolted as you were thrown on the bed and your hands pinned above your head. Yoongi and his fucking telekinesis.

“Okay asshat was the really necessary?” You asked, raising a brow at your boyfriend and looking up at him.

“Yes, it was, I’m a demon what do you expect.” Yoongi smiled, as he crawled onto the bed to boop your nose.

Rolling your eyes at your boyfriend, you looked at him as he caged your body beneath him. His eyes trailed down your body once more, particularly to your chest.

You couldn’t help but blush under his intense stare. Yoongi gently brought his fingers up to prod at your puffy nipple, gently circling the skin.

“So what’s the real reason you got these hmm?” Yoongi asked genuinely. Sighing, you looked at him before groaning and laying your head on the pillows.

“We have been over this, Yoongi. You know my chest is small I look 12, and-,” Yoongi wasn’t having any of it as he slapped your sore tit

“Fuck!” you cried, as he immediately began to soothe the red skin. Tears began to well up in your eyes, as the skin throbbed slightly.

“Shhh, petal. I’m not doing this to hurt you,” Yoongi murmured, removing his hand from your boob to cage your body. He rubbed his thumb under your eyes to sweep away the tears. “I’m doing that because you don’t need to be so insecure. I’m not in love with you because your of your ass, even though that’s a plus-,” you snorted a laugh and kicked his thigh. Yoongi smiled at you, pressing a kiss to your eyelids. “I love you because your beautiful, and generous and you put up with my shit, stop doubting yourself. I love you and your body with or without the piercings.” Yoongi’s voice was low as he stroked a thumb across your cheek.

Tears began to well up again as you nodded at his words.

“Can you remove your damn telekinesis so I can hug you?” You laughed through teary eyes. Yoongi grinned at you, rosy gums peeking through his lips. Swiping his hand through the air, you immediately felt the release of weight on your body, as you immediately sat up and hooked your arms around your boyfriend's neck.

“Oof,” Yoongi groaned, as you trampled him on the bed, his arms immediately latched around your waist. You felt his warm breath fan across your bare chest.

“Ow! Yoongi not so tight,” you whined as he squeezed you tightly, burying his head into your neck. Pulling back slightly, you pinched his neck, “... i’m still sore asshole,” you mumbled, letting go of his neck to straddle his waist. Yoongi laughed, letting go of your waist to lean back on his legs, a slow grin began to overtake his face.

“Why don’t you let me help you…” his voice began to trail off as he leaned upwards to latch his mouth onto your nipple. You sighed, tilting your head back, as his he rolled his tongue piercing along the skin. Slicking the puffy skin with saliva, his hands trailed down your bare back to grab onto your ass. Squeezing the fleshy skin, he roughly pulled you forward, making you squeak. Before you could scold him for being abrupt, you felt something particularly hard poke at your center through your athletic shorts.

Stuttering over your words, Yoongi chuckled against your chest, the vibrations made wetness gush at your core. A lewd pop resonated through the room, as Yoongi detached from your nipple, to take his thumb into his mouth. Looking up at you, he sucked at the skin, before rubbing your nipple gently.

“F-fuck,” your moan came out broken as he returned his mouth to your chest, along with rubbing your other nipple.

“Mmm, I can smell you petal. You’re practically soaking through your shorts,” Yoongi spoke quietly against your chest, as he gently bit into the side of your tit.

You nodded, as you threw your head back in pleasure, not even processing his words. Hands limp at your sides, as Yoongi fondled you.

“Be a good girl and grind on my cock? Want you to cum before I sink into you, would you like that petal? My fat cock stretching your tight, wet hole?” Yoongi asked you lightly, biting the skin of your neck. He gently jutted his hips upward against you.

“Yoongi p-please, yes.” You opened your eyes slowly, watching as Yoongi removed his hands from your chest. Your arms began to work as you grabbed the collar of Yoongi’s shirt, to bring him into a heated kiss.

Your teeth clacked against one other, as you sucked on his tongue, not caring as saliva began to wet your chin. Yoongi blanked for a moment at your abruptness, before growling against your mouth and jutting his hips against your clothed center once more. Whines came from your mouth, as you continued to suck his lips. Trailing your hands down his neck, you hooked your fingers behind his neck, and began to grind against him.

You felt his bulge hit your clit, making you pant against his mouth.

“Yoongi, it feels so good,” you whined, moving your hips back and forth. Yoongi growled before taking both his hands up to your chest and running his palms back and forth against your nipples. Tossing your head back in elation, you bit your lip as your sopping cunt grinded against him.

Unhooking your hands behind him, you pushed him down to lay flat on his back and then took his hands above his head. Yoongi panted, as you held his hands above his head, grounding your hips into his.

“Oh, oh, ffuck, Y-yoongi,” you kept whining as you moved against him.

“Fuck, that’s it baby. Rub your cunt on my cock,” Yoongi growled, before leaning up and taking your nipple in his mouth. The simulation of the grinding, and his tongue piercing against your sore nipples was all it took for you to scream and throw your head back, as you released. Garbled noises came from your mouth as you released Yoongi's hands. Quickly he sat up and threw you down on the bed as you came down from your high. You huffed as your body hit the foam.

Yoongi wasted no time ripping right through your shorts and undies, exposing your sopping center to his greedy eyes. Amber bled into his pupils, as he gripped your legs and pulled you to him.

“Yoongi wait, I’m s-still sensit-!” you didn’t have a chance to push him away as he ran his tongue flat against your center, his piercing spiking pleasure that shot into your toes.

Obscene slurping noises came from your center, making a deep blush seep onto your cheeks.

“Taste. So. Fucking, Devine.” Yoongi growled, pulling back and licking your arousal with his tongue. His fangs were protruding, indicating he was most definitely turned on.

Your chest heaved as you watched him begin to shuck his clothes off quickly. His shirt, jeans and boxers came off.

As Yoongi pulled his boxers off, he sighed as his fat cock flopped onto his taut stomach. The rosy head weeping with cum. Your mouth watered as you saw the protruding vein run under the shaft. You would never get used to how big his dick was; body shuddering at the thought of your center stretching over his bulbous head.

But the thing that has your center dripping more than it already was, was the barbell piercing that went through the head of his cock. Long story short it was a dare, and demons have a low pain tolerance first of all. And Yoongi, being Yoongi, obviously doesn’t back down from a dare so he got the piercing.

To be honest at first you were worried that the piercing would rip your vagina in half, but since we are here right now, we can all agree that it didn’t. But hey, that’s one way to go, getting split in half by your demon boyfriends monstrous cock, topped with his dick piercing.

Nice.

You were brought out of your thoughts as you heard Yoongi’s low grunts, looking at him between your legs, you watched as he jerked his hand slowly down his shaft.

“Like what you see?” Yoongi winked at you, making you roll your eyes at his inflated ego.

“Hmm not sure,” you teased, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. The mattress creaked slightly as Yoongi situated himself between your legs. You sucked in a breath as he took his cock in his hands once more and nudged your clit with his tip.

You both groaned simultaneously as he began to slick his length in your arousal. Yoongi swore under his breath as his hands came to grip the pillow beside your head as he rubbed you with his cock.

“Fuck, look at you dirty girl. Not even inside you and your soaking my c-cock, are you gonna cum like this?” Yoongi’s dirty words made your center cream, as he pressed kissed against your slick skin.

“Y-yoongii, please, please,” your moans came out garbled as he picked up the pace, grunting lowly in your ear. Pulling back he looked you in the eyes, flecks of amber coated his pupils as his fangs began to protrude once more. He took your hands in his to hold them above your head.

Arching your back, you felt the knot in your stomach begin to tighten quickly as Yoongi rubbed his cock against you.

“Mhmhm, it feels good,” you whined, as Yoongi leaned down to take your nipple into his mouth.

“Then cum. Soak my cock with your juices so I can fuck them back inside you. Be a good kitten and come for me,” Yoongi whispered against your chest.

His dirty words was all it took for you to topple over the edge in pleasure, as the knot snapped and you released all over Yoongi. Throwing your head back, you felt your cunt clench around nothing, as Yoongi continued to rub his cock against you.

“Oh f-fuck look at that! Squirt all over my cock, you dirty girl,” Yoongi pulled back to look at you release, a bit too hard, all over the bed sheets and his cock. Your legs twitched as you laid on the bed, skin slick and cunt sore. You heard Yoongi breath heavily over you, letting you relax for a moment. Not even caring that your were sensitive, you pulled yourself up and pulled Yoongi to your body.

Smashing your lips against his, you clawed at his back as you pushed him onto the bed and grinded against him. You felt his hands grip onto your waist tightly, before you felt his head prod at your center. Swirling yourself around him, you wasted no time sinking onto him slowly. You both shuddered as your center popped over his fat tip, before completely sinking on to him.

You immediately began to bounce up and down on him, his piercing hitting your cervix each time. Yoongi was mesmerized by your tits bouncing in the slightest, the piercings reflecting off the setting sun that poured in through the blinds. He took both his hands up to your boobs, squeezing the flesh before tweaking your nipples between his pointer finger and thumb.

Groaning at the painful pleasure, you rested your hands on his chest as you bounced on him.

“You feel that? My cock deep inside you, hitting your cervix? That’s where I’m gonna shoot my cum, make you nice and full that it seeps out of you. And everyone will know your mine.” Yoongi kept his voice steady as he tweaked your nipples.

“Yes! Yoongi, I’m yours please, want your c-cum. I love your cock, its so big.” You whined as you clenched around him, milking him slowly. You could feel yourself creaming his cock, as you bounced repeatedly on him.

Not wanting to be below you anymore, Yoongi gripped you by the hips and tried to flip you over. You being stubborn didn’t want to, which resulted in you two rolling around on the bed. He pulled your hair, as you sucked bruises into the skin on his clavicle. Eventually the fighting for dominance led to you two tumbling off the bed, silk comforter wrapped around your sweaty bodies.

Your shriek turned into a moan as Yoongi’s body broke your fall resulting in him being below you, causing his cock to sink even deeper into you.

“Fuck!” Both of you moaned simultaneously, as his cock sunk deeper into your wet heat. Your nails made deep indents into his strong chest, as you felt yourself clench around Yoongi’s length.

Yoongi dug his hands into your ass, before slapping the skin hard. Making you clench around him, as you groaned into his neck.

“You better fucking come, or you’re getting a spanking.” Yoongi growled below you, lifting your body up and slamming you up and down on his cock.

“I’m close! Please Yoongi!” You cried, as you blindly grabbed his hand and guided it to your tits. Yoongi obliged, taking your nipple between his fingers once more. Your mouth hung open as he rolled the puffy skin between his fingers. He tweaked the piercing back and forth, making your nipple even more sore. But even with that you were so close but couldn’t get there.

“Y-yoongi, can’t,” you mumbled, feeling the muscles of your thighs burn. Ignoring your cries of frustration, as he grunted below you. You felt your body becoming limp as Yoongi fucked you, his cock making your walls burn in pleasure.

“You. Will. Fucking. Take it.” Yoongi punctuated each word with a thrust, making you scream as you scratched your nails down his chest. Again, you felt the knot form so tightly you thought you were going to implode. Digging your face in Yoongi’s neck, you felt his pulse as his breaths came out harshly.

Yoongi was becoming impatient, so he gripped you by the waist and laid you down on the sheets that covered the floor. His cock never left your center, as he hooked your legs around each side of his waist and sat up on his knees.

Your arms were spread out by your head, as Yoongi gripped you by the waist and began to thrust into you once more. At this angle you swore his dick was going to penetrate your cervix. Your mouth was open in a silent moan as you watched his dick slide out of you. It was coated with your creamy release, and you could feel his piercing hitting your center as you clenched around his bulbous head.

“Feels, Nggh, good Yoongi-i,” your words were slurred, completely fucked out by his cock ramming into you. Yoongi licked his upper lip, which was slick with sweat. Platinum hair dripping with sweat, as he leaned over your body. His tattoos were slick with sweat as he continued to thrust into you, his dick pulsing at the thought of you creaming him.

“Look at you. Completely wrecked around my fat cock.” Yoongi snarled at you before he leaned down and took your nipple in his mouth. You felt your arms twitch as he licked your nipple, his hot mouth encasing the sore bud.

Licking it a few more times, he pulled away, then gripped your hips once more and began to fuck you thoroughly.

“Fuck, I can see my dick budging inside you. That’s where my cum will be. Would you like that petal? My cum making your insides nice and sticky?” Yoongi’s words came out breathy, as he held your body up to thrust into you.

You nodded, as you felt your body bounce. You felt your body beginning to become sore, and your orgasm was approaching rapidly.

“Fuck, fuck, you’re gonna cum? Yeah, give it to me baby. Cream my cock like a good-,” His words were but a distant voice as you felt yourself finally come undone. You screamed, throwing your head back as you creamed Yoongi’s cock. Gripping at the floor, Yoongi fucked his way to his own orgasm, filling you up with his cum. You felt his hot seed seep into your hole, mixing with your squirt.

“Fucking, shit. Squirt all over my cock, that’s right. I own this cunt.” Yoongi went feral as he continued to slide in and out of you. He slid out completely, making his seed spill out of your abused hole. Swirling his tip around you a few times, he gathered his release before pushing his head back in.

You felt tears well up in your eyes as your core popped over his bulbous head, along with his piercing. Yoongi breathed heavily as he brought his fingers up to his mouth and then moved them around your aching clit.

“Y-Yoongi s-stop,” you whined, as your hips stuttered causing his head to push in further. You groaned as he pushed your mixed arousals back into you, before pulling out completely. You felt your body decompress as your eyes fluttered slightly. Soreness began to seep into your bones, as you laid on the hardwood floor. Yoongi was being a little shit, making sure to overstimulate you and rub the head of his cock against your sore pussy. The cool piercing made you jolt against him.

Weakly you lifted a hand, attempting to slap his abdomen. “Yoongi, little shit, stop.” You groaned, making him chuckle and retract his dick.

“I’m sorry, are you alright? I know I went a bit rough today,” Yoongi spoke softly, gripping your hips to pull you onto his lap. You shake your head, wrapping your sore arms around his sweaty shoulders.

“Mm, I know, mmm sore.” you mumbled, lips moving against his neck. Yoongi chuckled, running his blunt nails across your back. Leaning into his touch, you allowed him to wrap the sheets around you and pick you up from the floor. Your eyes fluttered slightly as he stood up and wrapped your legs around his waist.

“C’mon let’s go clean you,” Yoongi spoke gently, pressing a kiss to your hair. You smiled, pressing your lips to his shoulder as he walked into the master bathroom. The evening sun was shining through the large window next to the tub, stores and skylines visible through the fairy lights strung across the balcony.

Yoongi set you down on the marble counter, before pressing a kiss to each of your cheeks and walking over to the porcelain tub.

You stifled a yawn as you pulled the silk sheets tighter to your body, and leaned against the mirror, not caring if it smudged or not. The sun was reflecting right on you, causing a satisfying warmth to seep into your skin. The sun showed all your lines, freckles, even that scar on your jaw from when Min Holly scratched you by mistake. You didn’t even register that Yoongi was filling up the bathtub, or the fact that he was just staring at you.

“You’re beautiful. You know that,” Yoongi spoke over the flowing water. It was a statement, no room for argument. Your eyes opened to look at him, squinting slightly due to the sun. You smiled at him, something warm seeped over your cheeks, and it wasn’t the sun.

Yoongi shut off the tap to the tub then proceeded to walk over to you, he pulled you by the hips so that he stood between your legs. A defined jaw, but also puffed cheeks looked up at you.

“Cheesy,” you softly spoke, resting your forehead against his. He grinned at you, looking in between your eyes.

“Only for you petal.” Yoongi spoke, leaning back to press a kiss on your cheek.

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Hi hello! Yes this is a repost, for personal reasons I decided to take down seins for a few days and its edited now haha, but i hope u all enjoy! pls leave me feedback, i really wanna know what you guys think :( all my love! xx also updated my wips hehe.

#bts smut #yoongi smut #kwritersworldnet #btswriterscollective #bts imagines #bts reactions #min yoongi x oc #min yoongi smut #bts yoongi #bts #yoongi fluff #demon yoongi #bts writing #bts fanfic

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yamithediaperdork · 4 years ago

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Cry baby and Pee pants, part 1 (Digimon)

Matt cussed loud and long as he searched though his locker and the dressing room for the 5th time. The young blond had been trying out for a band, hoping to launch his music carer after more or less calling it quits as a digi destined, after barely keeping Tokyo from being blown up by a rouge digimon. This was actually his 6th audition, his young age and well, not exactly stellar skills on the guitar meant that he was told thanks for trying out, but he wasn't right for any of the bands till now. The leaping lizards had gushed over the raw talent being there, and had welcomed him on board, even pouring him a couple drinks of sake despite him being underage to celebrate. The last thing Matt recalled before waking up five hours later was them laughing at how stupid he was and.. Giving up the search, he had to finally admit the truth. they hadn't ever been serious about their offer to join the band and had just wanted to steal his guitar, a newer model and worth at least 300 bucks even being pawned. 'I suppose I should feel lucky I woke up with both kidneys.' Matt thought to himself. 'But how the fuck am I suppose to try out for the lone wolfs in two days with no instrument?' There was NO way he'd be able to get his parents to get him anther guitar, he'd had to basically break out the water works and plead on his knees for a month to get the last one. His antics had earned him the nick name of cry baby around both his dad's house and his mom's, and TK still wasn't letting it go and would ask if baby wanted his ba-ba. That left asking the others for a few loans, and most of them weren't too pleased he'd given up the hero game for fortune. Joe was blowing all his money on his studies anyways, Izzy on computer junk.. Sora and Mimi had been giving him the cold shoulder and he knew neither Kari nor TK would have the cash. '...I wonder if Tai's still hella gay?' Matt though, a Cheshire grin coming across his face. the always needy boy kisser had been good for getting a few video games before and junk, it was like 20 minutes of gay stuff like smooching and cuddling and then a little shopping spree AND Tai had just come into a fat wad of cash after a uncle that adored him had left him a big hefty inheritance. 'I can gay out for like, a hour for this.' Matt thought and getting his bag (and of course finding his wallet dry) he headed towards home, thinking about getting a even better guitar then before.

Tai was shocked when Matt called him the next morning, asking if he could meet up. After Matt had ditched the team only Tai and TK made any real efforts to hang with him, and TK only because they were brothers. In truth Izzy was giving Tai a hard time about it, but since Izzy was being a little bitch about a lot of things lately Tai just ignored his on and off again boyfriend. 'I mean, I was willing to get him that new computer he wanted and he couldn't rock a pamper butt for me? RUDE!' Tai thought and huffed. It was Tai's new fetish, and one he'd discovered by mistake when googling more on that Willis kid and finding out the little cutie had a website set up to show him modeling in diapers. Naturally seeing that Tai had begged and pleaded with Izzy to try out diapers but apparently Izzy had been a late bloomer and had only recently gotten out of daytime diapers before their whole adventure started. Naturally this had only made Tai wanna diaper him more, but again, Izzy was being a little pecker head about it. (at least from Tai's point of view.) 'heh. if Matt is expecting a little shopping spree today..he's in for a surprise. the boy is gonna earn it.' Tai thought, and went and checked on the supplies he kept under his bed on the off chance he lucked into a diaper boy. there they were, 2 packs of the diaper brand Willis recommended on his site, nice and thick, and a few onesies along with a changing pad and pacifiers and a baby bottle. 'Oh yeah..come onnn Matt..be desperate for money~'

Matt made sure to wear a nice tight sleeveless top and a pair of tight jeans (So tight he'd needed TK's help getting into them.) and made sure to spike his hair just the way that Tai liked it. TK wasn't dumb though, and knew what Matt was doing. "Looking good for your sugar daddy Cry baby." He teased and winked. "Your lucky Tai's expecting me, or I'd give you the noogie to end all noogies." Matt said, raising a eyebrow. it was just the two of them at their mothers apartment at the moment and TK used to know better then to push his luck when it was just them. "Mmhhhhmm.. your dadddy calls and cry baby Matt comes running. maybe HE'S gonna give ya yer ba-ba~" TK giggled. the giggles died off as TK saw the look on Matt's face, and when their mom would get back she'd find TK hanging by his undies from a nail on the wall. "...pushed cry baby too far again huh?" she asked, smirking and taking off her jacket. "Y-Yeah..uh..a little help?"TK squeaked. "Righttt after I put the groceries away.. think of this as time to reflect on watching your mouth." mom said and walked away. "B-But my undies are so far up my crack i can taste themmm!" TK whined. "then I don't need to worry about lunch." came the reply. "...Funny fucker aren't you." TK huffed under his breath, crossing his arms. "I hear that!"

Making his way to Tai's Matt got more then a few looks from both guys and girls, and likewise, a few wolf whistles. He ignored them for the most part, but had a smirk on his face knowing just how sexy he looked and soon was knocking on Tai's door. Tai gave him a once over as he opened the door and Matt smirked, he was almost drooling. "So, Like what you see?" Matt asked, and flexed a arm. "heh, Oh yeah. so gonna stand out there and look hot, or come inside and tell me what you want?" Tai asked, standing aside and gesturing into the apartment. "Don' worry, Kari had a school thing out of town and mom and dad are with her.I have you allll to myself." Tai added, slapping Matt's ass as he walked past, making Matt yelp and blush. Still, Matt knew what was expected of him for the most part and just flashed Tai a grin and blew a kiss. 'fucking bastard! he knows i hate spanking stuff!' Matt fumed. Matt went to sit down on the couch by Tai had closed the door and taken a seat in a arm chair, then patted his lap. '..He's totally getting me the latest guitar if he keeps this shit up.' Matt fumed, but walked over and sat on Tai's lap,putting his arms around the bigger boy. Matt might of been taller, but with all the sports that Tai played he had a bulked up look and was pound for pound much stronger. "So, You normally only get THIS dressed up if you want something, so what's my little Mattie need?" Tai asked, cradling Matt in a way that Matt recognized as using back when TK was toddler. "I..I uh..I have a band audition coming up..but some jerk's stole my guitar..and um.." Matt swallowed and then batted his eyes at Tai. "I was wondering, hoping if maybe you'd get me a new one.I've been practicing my kissing and we can cuddle and stuff for like, 2 hours even!" "heh. Well that IS a tempting offer. doubly so when your cute ass is in my lap. but I have a boyfriend if I just wanted to make out with a cutie. and Izzy is willing to go all the way." Tai chuckled. "O-Oh..but..I uh..I'm not..you...know..I'm.." Matt stammered. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna make you suck dick or take it up the poop chute. and I WILL get you whatever kinda guitar you want for your silly little audition which by the way is when?" Tai asked, kissing Matt's forehead and making alarm bells go off in the blond mind. "I-It's tomorrow at 3 pm sharp. And..what do you want then?" Matt asked, a nervous twitch to his voice. "Oh nothing too much. something really easy actually." Tai said and smiled. 'Bullshit' Matt thought but kept the smile on his face. "and that is?..." "For every say.. 20 dollars I spend on your little guitar I get one hour with you being my darling little diaper boy." "..What?!"

Tai smirked as he got ready to put Matt back into padding. the blond was looking huffy as fuck, but was keeping his mouth shut all the same, likely trying not to blow his semi good deal. Tai of course fully understood WHY Matt wouldn't be happy with the deal, but couldn't help but tease the impending little uy a little bit. "Awww come on widdle Mattie, can't you give daddy a smile? Your making daddy think you don't wanna do our widdle deal." He he teased, reaching over and tickling mat''s chin while the blond sat cross legged next to him. "...Your a sick man, you know that?" Matt asked, but he was grinning all the same, though whether it was from the chin tickles or humoring him Tai couldn't be sure. "Flattery will get you everywhere." Tai said with a wink, and as he finished getting the changing pad (with a adorable teddy bear print) set up and the changing supplies ready, he looked over Matt's jeans as he tugged out 3 of the thick puffy diapers. "So, are gonna be able to get out of those by yourself? they almost look spray painted on." Tai asked. "I can totally undress myself!" Matt huffed and stood up, unbuttoning the jeans and sliding his thumbs into the belt loops and tugging. And tugging some more. and then more tugging as they didn't budge. "You were saying?" Tai asked, in a clearly delighted tone. "..Shut up and help me get these things off." Matt huffed.

Matt was crimson after they FINALLY got his jeans off, partly due to the fact it had taken 10 minutes of effort, and well, needing Tai's help to undress. Not helping matters was the fact that Matt had chosen to go commando and well, liked to keep it shaved down there. "Awww somebody was a good boy and knew what was coming and saved daddy some time!" Tai teased. 'oh shut the fuck up!' Matt thought. "Yeah, let's go with that." was his sulky reply. Tai had oddly grabbed a razor blade all the same and cut silts in the back and front of two of the three massive diapers he was planing on putting on Matt, making the blond give his impending 'daddy' a weird look. "It's so when you go tinkle, the wetness is shared and you can go longer in your diapies. Same for when you go boom boom." Tai said cheerfully. THAT had caused the blush to leave Matt's face, at least for a little bit as he paled. "W-Wait.. you mean..you want me to.. uh.. go.." Matt stammered, and the blush returned as he struggled to say the words, then hissed and blew a raspberry. "in my diapers!?!" "..Ok that was hella cute. and Yup, I'm even gonna be nice and let you use them all on your own for today, though if I don't like the results I'm seeing I'll be sure to get you some potty med's to help." Tai said and winked, then patting the changing mat. "come on Little guy, let's get your diapies on and then you can sit in daddies lap while we order you a guitar so you can make music for daddy." "But..I thought we were going and getting one today!" Matt whined. "Oh, does somebody wanna go out shopping in his diapers? So bold!" Tai teased. "NO! I just..uh.." mental images of Matt waddling around in the big bulky diapers, holding Tai's hand and sucking his thumb flooded his mind and he started to squirm lots even as he laid down on the changing pad. "Don't worry. I'll pay for rush delivery. if we get it in town it'll be here by this afternoon. Maybe I'll let my little exhibitionist answer the door." Tai teased, and grabbed the first diaper. '...I could really go for anther glass of sake right now.' Matt thought and lifted up his butt like a good boy.

Back at the apartment TK was having pain fueled day dreams of all the times his undies hadn't of been lodged up his crack and wished his mom would hurry up and come and get him down. Not helping the whole situation was the fact that he had a growing bladder issue and any attempt's to shift around and relive the pressure there only made the undies ride up more. His mom had gone from putting things away to excuse herself to the bathroom, an like she was the worlds greatest comedian she'd told him not to move, and to hang in there. TK had wisely kept his opinions of her humor to himself as he had a sneaking suspicion that his earlier comments had helped extend his wedgie time. Still as the need to tinkle grew more and more TK couldn't keep quiet. "MOMMY! I hafa go pee! if you don't wanna clean up a puddle you needa get me down NOW!" He called. the bathroom door opened and Nancy walked out, smirking. "Why didn't you say something sooner wedgie boy?" she asked, taping a finger on his nose. "...You were just waiting in there!?!" TK shouted and huffed, crossing his arms and glaring. Sadly as his attention was focused on his mom and being mad at her, it was diverted from where it needed to be. "Well you were being a little brat an-" She started, then looked down as a hissing noise was heard and looked at the growing wet patch on the front of TK's undies, and the puddle that was starting to form on the floor. "Really?" "T-This is your fault!" TK huffed even as she grabbed him under the arms and lifted him down, though holding him away from her so she didn't get any pee on her. The flow was weakling and stopping as she got him on his feet, turning him so he could add to the puddle while not standing in it since he was in socks. (not that they weren't already wet) "Mhmm.. Well go and finish in the bathroom and clean up." She said, rolling her eyes then noticed a super guilty look on TK's face. "The..flow DID stop because you got it under control right?" She asked, a smirk tugging on her face. "Er..well..see.." TK said, rubbing the back of his head and chuckling nervously. "Go grab a shower pee pants, and meet mommy in your room. you know the rule for pant's wetters in this house." She said and turned away to go and get the mop and bucket as TK whined. "MOOOM! NOT THE PULL UPS!"

Back at Tai's and Matt was powdered and tapped in his triple thick white diapers, and squirming like crazy as he looked at himself in the mirror. Tai had tugged off his shirt so at the moment Matt was JUST in his white socks and white diapers, and he couldn't even close his legs! and as bad as it looked from the front, once he turned around and looked over his shoulder it was WAY worse in the back! He hadn't of even been able to get to his feet without Tai's help (well, he was gonna use Tai's bed to pull himself up but Tai had insisted daddy was here to help) and to say he was waddling was a massive understatement. "So what do you think little guy?" Tai asked, coming up behind him and making Matt look front ward in the mirror again, kissing Matt's cheek as he patted Matt's fat diapered bottom. "...I feel like I'm gonna knock lamps off of end tables, and there should be a beeping noise when i back up!" Matt whined. "heh, cute idea. I'll see what i can rig up for your next diaper day with daddy." Tai chuckled and kissed Matt's cheek. 'I need to stop giving him ideas.' Matt mentally groaned. "Can I at least put my shirt back on or something? or you have some shorts I can put over these? I wanna try and cover the diapers up!" Matt whined. "oh, You're just in luck little guy! Daddy DOES have something to go over your adorable huggies." Tai said. The old familiar warning bells were going off in Matt's head as Tai went and reached under the bed, and pulled out two onesie's, or as Matt called them, diaper shirts. One was light blue with a yellow trim on the sleeves, neck and leg hole, and had a yellow star on the front, that had a smiling face and said 'daddies little star' under it in yellow text. the second one was a white one with a dinosaur print all over it, and Matt fought the urge to facepalm. 'I really need to start watching my goddamn mouth.' he thought. "So buddy, what do you thin? wanna be my widdle star, or a dino boy?" Tai asked. "Gee, they're BOTH so tempting." Matt said, unable to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. If Tai noticed though he didn't show it and just nodded instead. "You're right, I'll pick for you." '...REALLY need to just keep my effing mouth shut!'

In the end Tai went with the little star onesie, though he'd over estimated just how thick he could go and still use them as it was a bit of a fight to get the crotch snaps to close. "I think after we get you your little guitar, we'll go shopping and get more cute outfits for my widdle musician." Tai said. He could tell Matt was less then pleased, but the boy forced a smile on his face and nodded. "whatever you want ta-" he started to say. "ah ah ah, when your butt is in diapers, it's DADDY. Got it?" Tai said, wagging a finger and smirking. "..Yeah OK." Matt replied, rolling his eyes. "yeah OK what?" Tai questioned, the grin getting bigger. "...Yeah OK daddy." Matt said, smiling but clenching his teeth. Tugging Matt over/ helping the padded cutie keep his balance, Tai sat down in his big comfy computer chair and tugged Matt into his lap, giving the big baby's neck a kiss. "Now did you have a certain store in mind, or just want me to google and shop around?" Tai asked.

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Mickey Mouse Birthday Shortstravaganza!

It’s Mickey and Minnie’s Birthday! It was 92 Years Ago Today everyone’s faviorite mouse came in on a tide of whistling, romance and animal abuse and swept into America’s hearts and wallets. Okay I am a day late on this, I had a busy day, but hey a belated celebratoin’s still good right? Right? Eh i’m doing it anyway. Anyway since then he’s been one of animations most iconic characters, and while out of the classic power trio I vastly prefer donald and goofy, they still woudln’t be around without Disney’s big cheese and having not seen a ton of Mickey’s shorts, I felt I owed it to the big eared one to take a look at a bunch of his shorts for his birthday and see how I liked em. If your curious about my previous Donald Duck marathon, it’s CLICK THIS LINK. Unlike last time all of these shorts are on Disney+ as more of Mickey’s library is on there and one or two of these were added recently, as Disney tends to add a few a month. I do wish there were more on there.. but unlike with say the handful of shows they haven’t put on there, i’m a bit more forgiving here. For one thing, YouTube has all the shorts available from various uploaders and DIsney hasn’t touched them despite Plus’ launch. Given like most companies Disney usually has their bots a cirlcing for their content, this has to be delebrate on there part and it’s a good gesture from the company. So while not in crisp HD like the Plus copies, or as easily avaliable, you can find any short that’s happened. So the shorts not all being up at once isn’t an issue like most of the shows that are absent on Plus.

They also heavily need to cherry pick their library as some shorts simply haven’t aged well or have offensive stuff. With the exception of “The Beach Picnic”, which has a racist caricature of native americans via ants.. yes really, most of the shorts are fine to show kids, and have aged pretty well. And as my last marathon showed some shorts.. just haven’t. While not you know racist, seriously why is the Beach Picnic on there?, “Donald’s Penguin”, while utterly adorable at first, ends with Donald trying to murder a baby penguin with a shot gun. No amount of content warnings is going to get past one of their beloved icons pointing a shotgun at a baby. While Disney’s self conciousness can be silly, the splash edit and not putting the Darkwing Duck episode “Hot Spells” on plus for instance, this is one time when I can agree with them: if someone is curious about a paticuarlly offensive short or a propoganda one, youtube exists. But given Plus is trying to be all ages and dosen’t have censoring they have to be careful what they put on there, and I can respect that. I don’t think anyone’s crying a river over the fact that the goofy short where his reflection keeps saying “Hey Fat”, over and over while he struggles with his weight isn’t on Disney Plus and thankfully never will be. But seriously get rid of the “Beach Picnic”. It’s not a good short and you already have one batch of native american stereotypes with “Peter Pan”, I don’t think racist ants are the hill you want to die on disney.

So yeah, this time all of these are from Disney Plus, and since I watched them all at once, their in Watch order rather than chronological like last time. So with all that out of the way...

After the cut

1. Steamboat Willie (1928): It’s All Fun and Games Until Mickey Strangles an Innocent Duck Starting from the obvious source, Steamboat Willie was the start of Mickey’s career. And it’s.. okay. The animation is fantastic and the first half is pretty good: Theirs a pretty good gag with one of the cows. But the finale, with Mickey abusing various animals just isn’t that funny A LITTLE rattling of an animal for comedy is fine.. but the things Mickey does here are just sociopathic> And yes I know it was the 1920′s, but even in that lawless, racist, sexist time, they knew better than to strangle a duck, or, in the moment that puts it over the top, remove suckling pigs fromt heir mom and then play a pig’s teats like an insturment to make it squeal musically.. I assure you I did not make this up. That actually happens. The pacing is also fairly slow at points, with some gags dragged out, though that can be chalked up to having no way to edit the damn thing, so that part I can forgive more. What makes up for it, like I said, are some good jokes, and some gorgeous animation. Decades later and while clearly made a long time ago, it still looks vibrant and really pops even in black and white. It shows just how talented Disney was and how far the company could go with this medium. One last thing to note is Mickey’s Early personality. While he’d retain trickster aspects at times, here he bounces between the loveable jolly mouse we’d come to know for the rest of his career who sometimes has a wild streak.. and a total asshole who strangles a duck. It’s just intresting to see such a diffrent side of him, most of which would end up going to Donald over time. Overall the short is decent, not the best of Disney’s catalogue but worth a watch for the historical significance despite it’s shortcomings, pun unintended.

2. Thru the Mirror (1936): That Was a Weird One This was easily my favorite of the bunch and as of now, my favorite Mickey Mouse Theatrical Short. Part of it is that it’s entirely bonkers; The film STARTS with Mickey , sound asleep, some how astral projecting as his soul, his spirit or whatever lead shis body and having been reading Alice Thorugh the Looking Glass, goes into a mirror world. But instead of encountring evil goatee mickey, he encounters a bunch of living objects and a bunch of fun set pieces for jokes ensue. He dances with playing cards, fights an army of them, has a sword fight with the king after dancing with the queen which.. no Mickey, bad mickey, your in a relationship and so is she. Bad Mouse bad. It is entirely fucking insane, even including a living nut cracker which.. words can’t.. look

They.. they had to know how this looked right? did the director have a ball busting fetish? I mean okay if he did, nothing wrong with that, but maybe don’t put it in your children’s cartoon. That being said it does eat the shells which I find creative. And that’s what really makes this one pop. The creativity. Not a single minute is boring, every minute has something intresting going on, but without throwing too muchi n your face. It’s just a wonderful short and one that like Mr. Duck Steps out, i’ll be rewatching a LOTTTT.

3. Mickey’s Rival (1936): Mortimer: The Original Bro From the same year we have disappointment. Having grown up with the disney classic House of Mouse, I was a huge fan of Mortimer. So when I first saw this, I was happy to see where he came from.. then justifably blocked it out of my mind till this review. While I love mortimer, I love Mickey having a sleazy rival and one diffrent than Pete who has different goals and tactics than the big guy. But his debut just has him as an obnoxious snickering bro.. which to be fair is who he is, but without the venre of charm his later version would have. Mortimer just spends the short being a pranking douche, and blatantly hitting on Minnie in front of Mickey while their on a date. Which even in an open relationship is a no no, so he has no leg to stand on.. metaphorically. He also walks weird in this one because, and this is true, he’s carying 9 volt batteries in his pants. Yes really. That’s the level of Douche we’re dealing with. Someone so up their own ass they carry batteries int heir pocket instead of money or a mask or children’s trading cards like a normal person or a me. What makes it frustrating is Minnie just swoons over the guy. And not like “Awww he’s so funny”, I mean romantically then has the gaul to say “your just jealous” when Mickey is understandably fuming over the jackass who swooped in, pranked him, is hitting on his girlfriend in front of him by teasing a bull, and in general is just the worst. Yes.. yes he is. Justifably. Jealousy is an ugly emotion but there’s a line between some dude bro like Mortimer getting mad your friends with someone you could be in a relationship with, boy, girl, neither, both, whatever your into, and Mickey getting mad his girlfriend is chuckling all over her ex who agian, crashed their date and treated him like garbage and is very transparently hitting on her in the middle of it. It’s also just not a very funny short, outside of the bit pictured and tha’ts more for the sheer aburdity of Mortimer elctifying his pant for a really dumb gag about stealing people’s pants button. He’s very lucky we didn’t see Mickey’s Epic Mickey is what i’m saying. But given he’s a frat bro, the 1930′s version granted but a bro nonetheless, he’d probably find that hilarious until he noticed the sheer size and scope. Overall a forgetable, frustrating short. The one bright spot is mickey and mortimer’s cars which have faces and stuff and look neat.. otherwise it was just a waste of my time and the only good thing it did was bringing Mortimer into our lives. And that ain’t nothing.

4. Mickey Down Under (1948): ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

This is a quick one.. because this one was a vacum. I mean I can at least say for Mickey’s Rival it’s interesting.. i’ts not good but it’s interesting. this is just.. Mickey farts around with a boomerang with his dog and then pisses off an ostrich. There’s not really a lot of consequence or intrest is what i’m saying. I can’t even find a good opening to make a letterkenny joke. No one got close to fucking an ostrich here. It’s telling by the fact theirs no gif’s of this one that no one cares and it baffles me this is one of the ones Disney chose to gussy up for D+ release. But still no donald messing around with a robot?

5. The Band Concert (1935): That’s More Like It. Okay scooting back a year we have the band concert. This is my third time watching this one and it’s a delight. Like the last one I don’t have a ton to say.. but it’s more because this one is just so good rather than because it wasted my time. It’s got a fun concept and the breakout performance from my boy donald duck as he constantly fucks with the band’s performance by either getting in their faces or hilariously pulling Flute’s out of thin heir. I miss that gimmick for donald, his love of pulling objects out of the either via magic and shenanigans. They should bring it back. Also his shenanigans remind me of opus and that’s never a bad thing.

Also Horace takes off his shirt. For the Ladies. A Classic for good reason.

6. On Ice (1935): Donald is a Bastard Man Another great one from the same year. This time around we have what i’ve come to call a Mickey and the Gang Messaround. This is back when Donald and Goofy were supporting characters, so generally each of the big three do something, usually coming together for the climax. In this case Mickey tries to help Minnie with her skating, with him adorably following her around with a pillow before showing off for her, just really sweet stuff. Goofy’s bit is hilariously dumb, as fitting my boy, as he feeds fish tobaco to get them to spit into a spitoon, and tries to club them, with predictable results. While not the most enivrionmentally friendly just the sheer oddness, the fact it sort of works minus him actually clubbing them, and one of hte fish smacking him in the face all make it work. The only bit that reallyd osen’t is Donald and pluto... it was present a bit before but here illustrates why I really dread Pluto based shorts. While I don’t hate the dog, he’s a dog I love dogs, most of the gags in his old shorts, and even up to mouseworks are him either being blamed for shit that’s not his fault, a pet peve of mine, or being tourtured in some way...

But dosen’t work at all now. He puts the poor dog on skates and then laughs at him and even sings a song mocking the poor dog, before justifably nearly ending up going over a watterfall, then ending up clubbed in the head. Good. I love donald but good god is he unsympathetic here.. and for some reason they teamed the two up again for more shorts! Why. It’s why I don’t get why Pluto was the star of his own shorts: if this is all they had.. why do it? Was the 30′s, 40′s and 50′s equilvent of a micheal bay audience really that into dog abuse? So yeah otherwise a good short but that segment drags it down. not Donald’s best work.

7. Clock Cleaners(1937): This is a Great One Not much to say on this one. It’s pretty good, has some fun set pieces, and some great jokes from all three characters. Mickey deals with a seagull, donald effs with a main spring and Goofy fights some statues. All good clean fun. My lack of brevity is more because I don’t have any jokes rather than this genuinely being bad. It’s pretty good.

8.. Mickey and the Seal(1948): More Pluto Torture Porn!

This one’s more of a mixed bag. On the one hand, it is really cute, as a young seal ends up going home with mickey after he visits the zoo to feed them fish. On the other hand.. it’s mostly Pluto chasing after the seal, Mickey being kind of a dick to pluto and not getting he clearly saw SOMETHING in his house, and then teasing him at the end despite him having been right. That being said the ending, with the seal brining back all it’s buddies to mickey’s house, is fricking amazing. ALso the seals in this unvierse who aren’t antrho can speak. That.. that raises a lot of questions I don’t think disney can answer.

9. Ye Olden Days (1933): Jaunty Dueling Music Now this.. this was a fun one. Mickey and Minnie head to Medivil times, proving that the current shorts tendency to jaunt to various settings isn’t a new thing, and it’ sjust a much of a fun change up here as it was there. Mickey, a wondering minstral, ends up trying to rescue Minnie after her father throws her in a dungeon for not wanting to marry Prince Dippy Dog, who hopes she can learn to love him. I can’t tell if he’s genuine or a dick here. But it’s fun, especially the part where, after Minnie declares she loves mickey which.. it’s been a few hours slow down, they decide on a duel and thus sing some ragtime, 1930′s getting ready for duel music that’s just catchy. if X Of Swords ever gets a movie, I want to use this song. Just.. really good stuff. A fun short with some great gag,s a great concept, and my boy goofy as the villian. What’s not to like? Alright one more.

10. MIckey’s BIrthday Party (1942): Big Chicken Breasts We end on another all together now, Mickey and the Gang Messaround that was a great note to end on. I did watch another short, Pluto’s Birthday party.. but it was both more of a Pluto short and more Pluto torture nonsense, so yeah, skipping that one, as I ended up one short of my 12 goal because I can’t count, apparently. So Mickey gets 10, but this one’s a good note to go out on.

Minnie throws a suprise party for mickey which almost turns into a live sex celebration as Mickey clearly is a wee bit horny going in. But it turns into a fun dance party, with Donald throwing out razzes like a good buddy, Goofy making a cake, and some fun gags with a piano they all bought him. It’s a really good short. That’s the problem with Mickey Shorts and doing all D+ ones: There just isn’t the weirdly offensive stuff to talk about there is. He’s not a bad character, but there’s a reason in every short that features all three, Donald and Goofy easily outshine him. Mickey’s not a bad character, but when not in trickster mode, there just isn’t a lot for him to do. It’s why the comics reinvented him, much like they did for donald, into a plucky detective/reporter who reguarly sovles crimes. He’s not bad, and as seen with Ye Olden Days and Thru the Miror, his blank slateness cna be put to good effect and house of mouse gave him more of a personality, but here he’s just the bland good guy to Donald’s loveable scmap and goofy’s loveable dumbass. It’s an issue comedy has to this day: having a lead whose just.. not as intresting as the rest of the ensemble. There is weirdness to note, as Donald dances with Clara Cluck> That’s not the weird part, he and daisy took a while to be etched in stone. The weird parts are 1. Donald wearing a sombrero and smoking a cigar, and 2. Clara’s MASSIVE boobs.. yes really. Clara Cuck has giant breasts. Like actual boobs that sway around while she dances with donald. it’s.. bizzare. Not terrible, who doesn’t like big chicken boobs but just.. really really weird to see ina Disney cartoon.But yeah it’s jus ta fun note to end on.

And that was MIckey’s Birthday special. I enjoyed it even if I had less to say than I thought. If you liked this review, you can comission your own for five bucks, just hit up my pms or my discord , avaliable on request. You can check out my ohter disney reviews in the disney tab on my blog and until next time, ther’es always another rainbow.

#mickey mouse #minnie mouse #donald duck #goofy goof #clara cluck #hoarace horsecollar #clarabelle cow #mortimer mouse #mickey's birthday #classic disney shorts

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ericsonclan · 5 years ago

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A Crown of Gold

Summary: Clementine is left alone in the greenhouse and decides to make a flower crown for Louis.

Read on A03:

Clementine sat on the floor of the greenhouse peeling vegetables for dinner. A pile of Jerusalem artichokes lay at her feet. Ruby had mentioned the other names for the plant as they were digging the roots up: earth apple, sunroot, sunchoke… it was interesting how the same plant could have so many different titles, especially when the part they were eating simply looked like a particularly lumpy potato. The flowers that bloomed on the surface revealed the true source of the sun-based names. Their bright yellow petals and orange cores reminded her a little of the sunflowers her mother grew in the backyard. She quite liked them. It was a shame they had to uproot them in order to eat.

“Everything going alright in here?” Ruby asked as she dragged a tub of vegetable peels that had been composting outside back into the room. “Nothing happened while I was gone?” “

No, Ruby, nothing happened in the three minutes you were gone,” Clementine hoped her tone hadn’t been too sharp. She knew Ruby was just looking out for her, but after weeks of mandated bedrest with constant visitors and everyone hovering about her when she stepped outside, Clementine had appreciated the few minutes of peace and quiet. She couldn’t be afforded privacy for long though: not when her freshly healed stump meant a wandering walker could overpower her if they ever crossed paths.

Ruby’s eyebrows dropped as she offered a sympathetic smile. The annoyance had bled through Clem’s words after all. “Oh, Sug, I know you’re antsy. It’s no fun being cooped up when all ya want to do is roam around freely. But I promise you this isn’t what every day will look like. Eventually we’ll have you back up on your feet and raring to go,”

Clementine sighed. “I know, Ruby. And it’s not like I don’t enjoy spending time with you, it’s just… this is a big change for me. For all of us,”

They both looked down at her bandaged stump. The pain was still there, hovering beyond the limb almost as if it was only injured, not missing. Ruby called it phantom limb pain. After a few days, Clementine had stopped bothering to mention it. She was already on a regimen of the strongest medicine they had. There wasn’t much else that could be done.

Ruby tutted. “To think that I’m letting you sit on this dirty floor when I shoulda marched you right out to the picnic benches and brought the tubers to you…”

“Ruby, it’s fine. I wanted it this way,” Inside here, she didn’t have to worry about running into any of the other kids and making small talk. She didn’t have to keep one eye out for A.J. to plaster on a smile as soon as he skipped over to her side. It wasn’t that company wasn’t pleasant; she just needed a few minutes to herself where she could sit with her stump and not wonder what those around her were thinking.

Ruby looked unconvinced at Clementine’s words, but let her be. She pulled on her gardening gloves and began separating the compost and spreading it throughout the planters. It hadn’t even been a month since they’d reclaimed the greenhouse and already Ruby had breathed enough life into it for them to be harvesting and replanting their crops. She and Clementine settled into a peaceful silence as they resumed their work. Once the bin was empty, Ruby looked toward the door, worry etched on her face.

“I’m not going to break if you leave me alone for ten minutes, Ruby,”

“I know that… Louis would have my hide though if he found you in here alone,”

“Louis? C’mon Ruby, he’s a teddy bear! Besides, dusk’s not coming for another half hour at least. You’ve got time,”

“Well… alright. I’m steppin’ out for just a few minutes to fetch some more false Solomon’s seal I saw growing by the dormitories. Don’t move, y’hear?”

“Mhm,” Clementine mumbled noncommittally. Not like she had the energy to escape this room anyway. She’d probably go to sleep as soon as dinner was done. The door clapped shut behind Ruby as she stepped out and Clementine was left on her own.

Now what? She’d already finished peeling all the Jerusalem artichokes. There were still things to be done about the greenhouse, but Clementine wasn’t well-versed enough to take the lead without fearing she would mess up Ruby’s hard work. Should she just sit in silence till Ruby came back? It wasn’t the worst idea in the world. Clementine rested her head against the planter behind her, closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath. It smelled nice in here: earthy, like how the world was after a fresh rain. It was nice to just sit back and take it in.

She felt something poking her leg and opened her eyes to find one of the sunchoke stems had fallen nearby her. Clementine picked it up, twirling the stem around through her fingers. The flowers reminded her of a home long abandoned, but they also made her think of her new home here, the warmth and love she’d been given. They especially reminded her of one freckle-faced boy in particular and the mischievous smile he always threw her way. Clementine smiled to herself, tracing her finger along the outside of each individual petal.

This thing that she and Louis had was so new, yet so intense. Perhaps if they’d been living lives in the old normal ways things would have progressed more slowly. But every second of every day was a gift when death loomed around every corner. There wasn’t time to waste on pleasantries in the midst of utter chaos. To think that only a few weeks ago she hadn’t even met Louis… now here she was smiling like a fool because a flower reminded her of him.

She wanted to do something for Louis, something to thank him for all he’d done for her. How he’d carried her through the night, frantically trying to get her home as her blood seeped into the seams of his trench coat. How he’d kept watch at her bedside, unwilling to sleep until he saw her eyes open again. How he’d helped with the bloody bandages, the crutches, the nights when she couldn’t stop crying because of the pain that simply would not cease. Theirs was such a young relationship, but it had already been tested and tried with stakes far greater than most would willingly take on.

Clementine took another sunchoke in her hands, examining it carefully. The stems were thick, but if she was careful she bet she could slice through them successfully, just enough to interlock another stem without breaking the chain. She hadn’t made a flower crown since kindergarten. She wanted to try though, to give Louis some small gift to show her affection. Maybe it was a silly thought, but that certainly wouldn’t stop her. So she set forth on her task, pulling out her pocketknife and digging into the first stem.

The waning light coming through the greenhouse windows let Clementine trace the passage of time as she worked on her flower crown. Some stems broke, too frail to retain the needed shape. Others had flowers with mangled or missing petals. She wouldn’t have that. Clementine wanted perfection. As the crown began to take shape, Clementine tested it out on herself. It was a good fit, but would that hold true for Louis? How big did those dreadlocks make his head? She would simply have to give it her best shot. With a determined huff, Clementine got back to work.

By the time Clementine was about finished, the light outside was shifting from rich orange tones to the cool blue of night. She hadn’t really noticed, so absorbed in the task at hand. Some scuffling noises from outside captured her attention though.

“What the fuck, Ruby? You left her alone in there?”

“I didn’t mean to! I was only gonna be gone for a second. Then Molly broke out from her paddock and A.J. and I had to corral her back inside. I sent Willy to go sit with her, but then he got roped into some dinner prep by Omar-”

“I don’t want excuses! The greenhouse has been overrun before. What were you thinking leaving her in there instead of helping her sit out on the benches? Clem? Clem?” Louis busted through the greenhouse door, his brow furrowed. He immediately locked eyes with Clementine, crouching down and wrapping her in a tight hug. “Oh, thank god!”

Ruby popped up behind him, looking worried. “Thank goodness! Clem, I am so sorry! I swear I thought Willy was heading over to be with you over twenty minutes ago!”

“Don’t worry about it, Ruby. Nothing happened. The time alone was actually nice,” Clementine offered Ruby a reassuring smile. “I’m OK, really,”

Louis pulled away to examine her more closely, a hand cupping her face as he took in her every feature. “You’re sure? You don’t have any pain? When are you due for more medicine?”

“Not until bedtime. I’m alright, Louis, I swear,” She looked toward Ruby.

“Seriously, I don’t need anything. You can go if you’re needed elsewhere,”

“OK… I’m gonna help Omar with dinner. But if anything and I mean anything happens and you need me, you just holler, OK? I won’t be far,”

“Thank you, Ruby,”

“Ruby,” Louis started, turning round slightly. “About what I said..”

Ruby lifted her hand to silence him. “Don’t think about it. You were right to be worried. I’dve been the same way in your boots. I’ll see y’all at dinner,” The door clacked shut behind Ruby again and the greenhouse fell silent.

Louis returned to his examination of Clementine. “I swear, I never should have let Aasim talk me into hunting today,” he muttered as he fiddled with a stray piece of her hair. “To think that on the first day I go out something like this happens-”

“Louis, seriously, stop. Everything is fine. There’s no point freaking out about something that didn’t even happen,” Clementine ran a hand along the lapel of his coat, straightening it. “Where’s that smile I love so much?”

The words clearly threw Louis off guard. He blushed, lowering his eyes before cautiously lifting them, a small smile playing across his lips.

“That’s it,” Clementine leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “I made something for you,”

His eyes brightened. “Really? What?”

“It’s not much, but…” Clementine raised the flower crown between them. “I thought it would suit you,”

Louis gazed at the crown in wonder, his fingers following the braided pattern Clementine had weaved. “Holy shit, you made this?”

“Mhm. The flowers were left over from harvesting the Jerusalem artichokes and when I saw them, well, they made me think of you. May I?”

Louis nodded, inclining his head so she could place the crown on his head.

“How do I look?” His face was shining with newfound excitement. “Damn, I wish there was a mirror in here,”

He looked beautiful. The way the softness of the yellow petals interplayed with the coarseness of his dreadlocks… there was something majestic there. Clementine smiled. “You look gorgeous,”

This time it was Louis’ turn to lean forward for a kiss. As their lips met, Clementine felt her heart pounding in the exhilaration of the moment. She wanted to stay here like this with Louis in this pure, distilled moment of happiness. A moment where nothing mattered but-

“Clem!” Willy burst through the door, eyes wide. “Do you have those Jerusalem artichokes? Omar needs them? Sorry I forgot about you earlier by the way,” His eyes fell on Louis’ flower crown. “What’s that?”

“This is a flower crown that Clementine made lovingly for me,” Louis answered pointing at his head. “And this was also a beautiful moment that we were sharing between ourselves before you so rudely-”

“Can’t talk! Omar needs these potatoes!” Willy exclaimed, leaping forward and seizing the bowl beside Clementine’s feet. “Thanks, guys!” And with that he was gone.

Louis and Clementine shared a look before chuckling to themselves.

“Well, on that note,” Louis stood up, grabbing the crutches that were resting by the door. “Ready to head out?”

She’d rather stay here with him, but Clementine’s stomach betrayed her, letting out a pronounced growl.

“That answers my question then,” Louis laughed, kneeling to pick Clementine up and set her on her feet. “Shall we, my lady?”

“But of course,” Clementine quipped, making her way out of the greenhouse. The crutches made her underarms ache and her stump had begun to dully throb. “Let’s get this over with, then it’s off to bed for me,”

“Off to bed for us, you mean,” Louis smiled at her, the flower crown slipping further down on one side. “Don’t worry. I won’t keep you up. I just want a few minutes seeing as we’ve been separated the entire day,”

“Who am I to say no to my flower prince?” Clementine paused to adjust the crown. “It really does suit you,”

“I’ll treasure it forever,”

“Better put it in some water then,”

“Once you’re asleep,” Louis strode forward. “I want you to be able to appreciate it in its full grandeur for as long as possible before I take it off,”

Clementine giggled. “Alright then,”

“I’m totally making one for you tomorrow,” Louis circled back around to her. “That way we’ll match,”

“Sounds fun,”

“I’ll teach A.J. to make one too,”

“He’d love that,” They paused in their walk to the tables. Louis leaned forward, barely a fraction of an inch away from Clementine’s lips.

“Guys, dinner’s getting cold!” Aasim called. “Hurry up!”

Louis rolled his eyes as he pulled away from her. “Well, Aasim will not be getting a flower crown tomorrow after that move,”

Clementine chuckled. “He’ll be heartbroken,”

“That’s the price he pays for ruining a perfectly good kiss,”

“Guys, c’mon!”

“Coming!” Louis shouted back in annoyance. “Your flower crown privileges for the next month are about to be revoked, buddy!”

“What does that even mean?”

“Oh, you know what it means!”

As Louis strode forward, Clementine followed easily behind him. Her smile refused to go away, and that was thanks to everyone around her. That and a certain golden crown.

#clouis #louisentine #louistine #twdg clementine #twdg louis #fluff #flower crown #fanfic

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catfishandthebottlefan · 5 years ago

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#9.2 - Touring - Part 2 - The Flight

A/N - I was up till midnight writing this 😂 Part 2 of my first chaptered fic! I hope you enjoy! ~ A x

Van slaps your arse cheekily as you walk up the aisle of the plane on your way to your seat. You’ll get him back for that later.

Following a seemingly confident Bondy, you and the lads reach your seats towards the middle of the plane - row 32. The six of you take up the whole row, making room for the split down the aisle, thus you don’t bother checking your boarding passes as it wouldn’t matter who sat in what seat anyway. You end up sandwiched between Bondy - who sits at the window - and Van, who sits on the aisle. Across the aisle sits Larry, then Benji, and Bob by the window. You knew Bob would like being by the window - like you, he was a natural dreamer. Larry and Van seem happy enough to be next to eachother as they pull faces and try to hold hands across the aisle as everyone else attempts to board the flight.

“Excuse me.” You hear the voice of an air stewardess.

You look up to see her stood next to an unhappy-looking family.

“Y’alright, love?” Van says, cheerily.

“You appear to be in the wrong seats.” the air stewardess snaps.

“No, love, we’re definitely row 33.” Van says confidently.

“Yes, and this is row 32.” she replies curtly, “So if you wouldn’t mind moving so that everyone else can board-”

“Bondy, you idiot.” you hiss, standing up.

Bondy simply shrugs, “Must’ve read the row number wrong.”

You all move back a row, awkwardly shuffling your hand luggage back into the same seats.

“Bondy, you’re a fucking retard.” Van mutters.

“Oy, who put me in charge of flight navigation?” Bondy retaliates.

“You were at the front!” Larry chimes in, Van nodding in approval.

Bob simply laughs, red with embarrassment at having to move. Benji tries to keep the peace.

“To be fair, we all should’ve checked-”

Larry elbows him sharply. “Yeah, but it’s more fun to blame Bondy.”

You lean against Van’s shoulder as everyone settles down into their seats. You hear a faint murmur of music playing through his headphones.

“You ok, baby?” he asks, reaching for your hand.

“Yeah,” you reply, “What’re you listening to?”

He removes a headphone and places it in your ear.

I think you are really fit You're fit, but my gosh, don't you know it?

“The Streets,” you laugh, “Never would’ve guessed.”

“That song’s about you, y’know.” Van teases.

“Thanks a lot, mate.” you reply, sarcastically.

“It’s a compliment!” he says, his voice going an octave higher, as it always does when he knows he’s tried his luck.

“Well, thank you.” you reply, with mock sincerity, giggling.

Larry slaps Van’s knee from across the aisle. “Shut up, it’s the safety display. Some of us don’t want to drown when the plane crashes.”

“When!?” Bob laughs.

Van pulls a face at Larry, and closes his eyes, tuning himself into his music. You look to your left to see Bondy scrolling through his phone. He closed-mouth smiles at you when you make eye contact. You, Larry and Benji seemed to be the only ones listening to the safety demonstration, with Van and Bondy actively choosing not to listen and Bob clearly somewhere else as he looks out of the window.

You close your eyes and rest your head back on Van’s shoulder, half-listening to his music from the outside of his headphone. You drift off into a half-awake, half-asleep state as you attempt to align your breathing with your boyfriend’s. You always try to do this when you lie beside Van, and usually end up struggling for breath, but the steady rise and fall of his chest this morning puts you into pure relaxation. You grip his hand tightly as the plane taxis and takes off, then drift into a sleep.

You wake up to Bondy and Van laughing on either side of you. You slowly open your eyes.

“Don’t move!” Larry warns.

You open your eyes to see a the contents of Van and Bondy’s hand luggage balanced on various parts of your body. A £20 note on each forearm, a driving license on each thigh, a passport on your head and another on one shoulder. On the other shoulder, a deck of playing cards bound tightly with a rubber band rested. However, the condoms on each nipple amused you the most.

“Who’s are these!” you laugh hysterically, pointing at your boobs.

“One each.” Bondy affirms, “One from each wallet.”

“Wow, you two are disgusting.” Benji remarks.

“Don’t be silly-” Larry erupts into peals of laughter, “Don’t be silly- Don’t be silly-”

“Spit it out, mate!” Van says, also laughing.

“Don’t be silly,” Larry repeats, still laughing, “Wrap your willy!”

Even Bob loses his shit, and the whole group of you explode into hysterics. So much so that the same narky air hostess has to come over.

“Excuse me,” she says, staring particularly disapprovingly at you, “You’re disturbing the other passengers.”

“Oh, we’re sorry-” you begin, blushing.

“What’re you gonna do about it?” Bondy says, flatly.

“Bondy!” you hiss, nudging him.

“I can get you removed from this flight if you want me to.” the stewardess replies, patronisingly.

“God, it’s like being at school again!” Larry pipes up.

You’d all drawn enough attention to yourself for other passengers to turn around.

“Leave them alone, they’re just young lads messing around!” says an older man with a Yorkshire accent from in front of you.

“Yeah, it’s actually quite entertaining.” a young girl in her late teens affirms from behind you.

The air hostess wrinkles her nose. “You better not cause any more-” she pauses to think, “Disturbances.”

Van pulls a face behind her back as she walks away haughtily. You giggle, pulling your phone out to check the time. 6 hours left to go.

“Is there WiFi on this plane?” you ask Bondy.

Before he gets a chance to reply, Larry gives you a firm “No.”

“What the fuck are you on about mate? Yeah there’s WiFi.” says Bondy.

You connect your phone to the WiFi, and are surprised to see tens of Facebook notifications come through slowly.

“What have you lot tagged me in now?” you say, opening your notifications, “I’ve got about 6 private messages and 30 comments on a post?”

The page loads painstakingly as you see the incriminating post.

Y/N is feeling wet.

“Just had the worst sex ever with Van McCann before getting in the taxi to leave for tour. He came after thirty seconds because he’s got a 3 inch dick. He deserves it for leaving poor Larry Lau waiting outside in the cold and making him put all his bags in the taxi though x”

“Larry!” you almost yell, “You took my phone when I fell asleep in the taxi, didn’t you!”

“No,” he giggles, “T’wasn’t me.”

“It was though, wasn’t it!”

“Maybe.” he replies, laughing.

“What’s happening, babes?” Van peers over at your phone, “Larry, you little shit!”

A few seconds later, he shouts slightly too loudly. “I do not have a three inch cock!”

A few nervous giggles erupt from the seats around you all.

“What?” Van says, his voice going all high again, “I don’t! You’ve seen it!”

“For fuck’s sake, Larry, my nan’s seen this!” you gasp, reading the comments and your private messages, all questioning the post.

You quickly press delete, thinking about how you can get payback. Ah, you had just the picture. Van had sent you it the other day- an extract from his parents’ old photo album. You press upload, tagging Larry in the photo of him, aged 6, wearing a pink summer dress and sparkly hair clips. Perfect.

Two hours to go, and you were bored as fuck. You’d already listened to all of your favourite songs, mostly by The Kooks. You were even bored enough that you’d listened to all three Catfish albums, despite knowing you’d be hearing them non-stop for the next three months. Suddenly, you remember Van’s cheeky slap on the arse as you were boarding the plane. Payback for that was overdue.

You look to your right to see Van sleeping, his head lolling gently to the side. You touch his thigh gently, and watch as he begins to stir. You let him fall back to sleep, but then you stroke his thigh again, slowly making your way inward. Stroke, watch him stir, then remove, until you get closer and closer to his dick. You stroke his crotch, and watch as his eyes begin to open.

“I love you.” you whisper in his ear, seductively, then nibble his earlobe.

You continue to rub his crotch slowly.

“Y/N, what the fuck are you doing?” Van whispers, croakily.

“Payback.” you reply, quietly, as you feel his boner rise.

“Stop!” he whines, secretly loving it, “Why do I deserve this?”

“You slapped my arse.” you reply, now removing your hand from his crotch.

You were satisfied that you’d made him horny, but deliberately not finished. How could you? You were on a plane for God’s sake.

“I fucking hate you.” Van whispers in your ear, “Now I gotta wait for this to go down.”

“Yep.” you reply, “Don’t slap my arse in public again, then.”

Half an hour to go. Even Bob looks slightly bored now. From the front of the plane, you hear a baby crying.

“I can’t listen to that no more,” Van says, achingly, “I hate hearing kids upset.”

You rub his shoulder reassuringly.

“People shouldn’t bring kids on planes.” you say, quietly.

Van nods in agreement.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we now ask that you return to your seats as we prepare for landing. Please put away any portable electronic devices and turn off your mobile phones. The seatbelt signs are now on and the toilets will be closed.”

You nestle closer to Van, and he puts his left arm around you.

“Ready for the USA?” you ask.

“Is the USA ready for us?” Van replies, confidently.

“Nobody’s ready for us!” you reply, laughing.

You kiss his lips gently. Van initially seems taken aback, but then kisses you back.

“Get a fucking room!” Larry quips.

“Can’t you wait till we get to the hotel at least?” Bondy yawns.

You simply shrug it off. Gripping Van’s hand tightly as the plane descends and the wheels hit the tarmac of the runway, you whisper in his ear.

“Here’s to the next adventure.”

#van mccann #catfish and the bottlemen #catb #vanfic #larry lau #johnny bond #bondy #bob hall #benji blakeway

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anddyisnothere · 6 years ago

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Imagine having a long distant relationship with Rocket Pt 1

Okay, so this is my first imagine of Rocket. This is one I've been wanted to write about for a while, it’ going to be pretty long so I might have to make a part 2 but anyways, I hope you enjoy and sorry in advanced for any errors! Also it takes place after gotg vol. 2, so Mantis is here and Groot is already a teen.

Summary: Peter decides to take a quick trip to Tera to get a few parts for the Milano, taking with him a special two-way galactic radio transceiver (walkie-talkie) that Rocket had made incase anyone got lost in space or a different planet, it’ll work just about anywhere. Having the guardians stay on the ship, he goes alone. Going back to with the items he needed only to accidently leave the GRT behind. That’s when you come in. What will Rocket think?

Key: Y/n- Your name

“Why are we here again?” Rocket slouches on his chair.

Peter sighs, “Seriously? Do any of you ever listen to what I say?” he says while throwing his arms in the air, frustrated.

“Hm? Did somebody say something?” a confused Drax says looking around.

“God you guys are the worse. For the millionth time, we are going to Tera for a quick stop, I need a few things for the Milano.“ As the ship finally lands near a junkyard, Peter grabs the equipment he’ll be needing.

“I am groot?” He says, eyes glued to his game.

“Exactly what I was thinking! Why do we have to go on a ball of dirty for parts that Knowhere probably has!” Rocket shouts.

“Ohhh that's right! Even after we’ve gone and checked all of Knowhere, They ‘probably’ still have them!” Peter says with a load of sarcasm.

Rocket laughs loudly. “See! Now yer getting it!”

“I was being sarcastic!”

Rocket quickly growls while Mantis and Drax just watch from the side.

“Hey!” Gamora says, getting in between them before anything was to start. She turns to Peter, “Just hurry up, retrieve the items and don’t take too long.” Peter nods as he faces the whole group.

“Now, I need you guys to seriously stay on the ship. Don’t need any of you scaring the jeebees out of anyone today. Humans are pretty sensitive.”

“hmph. Who died and made you captain.” Rocket whispers coldly while crossing his arms.

Drax only nods his head in understandment, “Yes, your kind is very weak.”

Peter huffs, “That’s not what I-”

“yeah yeah, just hurry it up will ya?” Rocket says tossing Quill the portable radio. “Here, you’ll be able to talk anywhere you are so don’t you go losin’ it, I only made a pair. It’s only for emergencies in case somin’ goes wrong, ya got it??”

Peter nods while rolling his eyes, “ yeah, I won’t take long.”

You walked down the plain grey sidewalk to work, which happened to be a junkyard, but ah, not just ANY junkyard, Willy’s Smash N’ Repair Junkyard. The only junkyard in this small town with the population of 115. Yeah, pretty small. Having to only work night shift and approximately 4 hours.

Entering the small office and turning on the “OPEN” sign, you set down your belongings and sit down to relax. Spending half the shift on your phone and surfing the net, you didn’t realize how fast yet slow the night was. Hardly any customers came in to buy parts. With only 30 minutes left till your shift ends, you heard a loud crash coming from outside. You sigh loudly, grabbing a flashlight before getting up from your comfortable chair.

“Hello? I’m sorry but you have to check-in the office first before you start searching for... whatever it is your looking for!” You shout walking towards the commotion.

As the flashlight aluminates your way, a rush of paranoia ran down your spine. “Hello?” you pointed the light at a pile of junk only to see nothing but a shiny object. Picking it up, it looked like an old fashion walkie-talkie with a few modifications. You chuckled and pushed the silly thoughts away. “Jeez, I really need a vacation.”

Seeing as you only had a few minutes left, you used that time to collect your items and leave early to inspect the cool walkie-talkie in your bag.

Quiet music was playing softly around the ship. Everyone’s just relaxing while doing their own thing. ‘course it was interrupted but a loud Peter barging in with a box of metal items. “Honey! I’m home!”

Rocket just waves him off as he continues to work on his gun. “ ‘bout damn time.” He whispers.

And just like that, they were off in space again. It took a couple of jumps for Rocket to finally ask “Can I have back my radio?”

Peter nods and searches his jacket only to find nothing. He gulps. “Did you check in the box I brought in?” He says avoiding eye contact.

Rocket nods. “uh, yea? it’s not there.”

“Ohh, that’s right, I left it in your room.” Rocket lets out a loud groan and stomps to his shared room.

Quick Note: Guys I'm so sorry it’s taking so long or if it’s like boring, I'm really trying here ):

The sound of metal bounced off the walls. “Where. Is. That. Freakin’. Radio.”

“Hello?”

his ear perked up to the soft sound of a girl’s voice. Quietly waiting and listening. After a few minutes of silence he decided to just shake it off and continues to search.

“Is anybody there?”

Rocket stood up straight and paid close attention to where the voice was coming from.

“If you can hear me, I found your walkie talkie at the junk yard I work at. I’m gonna be honest, this little radio is really neat, and I was thinking of keeping it but I mean what is the point of having it if I don't have the other part to complete it?-”

Rocket walked over to his radio and listened closely.

“-It’s best to return it to whoever is listening to this... well if anyone is listening to this. Anyways I'm going to keep it safe until you claim it? Geez I probably sound like a weirdo right now.”

“Tsk, Yeah you really do.”

“Wait, you can hear me??”

He quickly looks down realizing that he was pressing the response button, he quickly starts to panic.

“Wait, why did it take you so long to respond??”

Rocket quickly turns off his end of the radio, calming himself down.

Now there’s only one person to blame.

“QUILL!”

Part 1 complete! Whoever is reading, Pleaseeeeee tell me what you think!! Thank you

-----Part 2 will be coming soon!----

#rocket raccoon x reader #guardians of the galaxy #x reader #gotg #guardians of the galaxy one shot #rocket raccoon #rocket raccoon one shot #marvel x reader #rocket x reader #rocket #rocket raccoon imagine #mine #gotg imagine #rocket raccoon one-shot

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awesomeadventuresoflulu-blog · 7 years ago

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Hello! This is my first post, so exciting! Anyway, here is my submission for the Shipwrecked Comedy Fig and Ford fanfic competition.

Title: On Set

Wilhelmina Vanderjetski was, to put it simply, no stranger to film sets. Though through the years she had found herself journeying through a variety of genres – be it a distressing drama, lush historical romp, or swashbuckling fantasy – they all had the same familiar layout. Her driver would pick her up bright and early, and (begrudgingly) she would roll out of bed, her hair unwashed and face bare, ready for the makeup artists to transform her into a romantic heiress or comical sidekick. They would then exchange pleasantries, commenting on the warm weather or recounting a funny anecdote from the night before. Eventually, Wilhelmina would find herself driving through the studio’s grand, imposing entryway, which was always topped off with a large overhead sign that made sure there was absolutely no question regarding whose place it was. Afterwards she would head into her particular set, where the costume girls were always armed, without fail, with that day’s outfit and a heaping of crew gossip, (the latter of which Wilhelmina particularly enjoyed.) And after that? It was time to forget “Ms. Vanderjetski” and dive deep into the mindset of her character.

Of course, this film was no different.

That day Wilhelmina found herself sitting in her brightly lit dressing room, which was overflowing with stylish pictures of her and her costars, and random discarded costumes that the designers had declared ‘all wrong’ for the scenes. At the moment, a few of the crew members were hanging up a poster for the film she was currently working on, entitled In the City – a screwball comedy that critics were eagerly awaiting, since it was helmed by a well known director, and starred two bright young stars: experienced leading man, James Willis and *gulp* Wilhelmina herself.

“There, perfect.” The crew member, whose name Wilhelmina remembered to be Jonathon, announced after finishing hanging up the frame. Wilhelmina leaned back in her vanity chair in order to see the poster, which featured a picture of her and James looking at each other adoringly on a brightly colored background. Over the picture a swirling font decreed the movie’s title, and underneath that sat the names of the stars, including her own, which she noted looked comically long in comparison to the others. “Alright, five minutes till we start shooting, Miss Vanderjetski.” Jonathon added as he and the other crew member left the room.

Wilhelmina nodded gratefully in response before turning her attention back to her mirror, in which she surveyed her makeup and went over her lines in her head. She hadn’t told anyone, but she was especially excited for this film and wanted to do it justice...which would probably be easiest if she didn’t forget her lines on the third day of shooting.

---

A while later Wilhelmina had arrived to the set, which was bustling with people. Makeup artists fluttered from actor to actor touching up their blush or lipstick like benevolent beauty fairies, the stage manger was leading an army of crew members on a search for a particular prop that had gone missing, and the camera operators were making sure each of their various wires were properly connected and set. In the center of the large room was a group of bright lights, which shined onto a smaller set designed to look like a hotel lobby, complete with an elevator and spiraling staircase.

Wilhelmina looked at it all with a satisfied smile, ready to dive into her role as Virginia Thomas, a wealthy heiress who finds herself living with her great aunt in the big city after her father leaves on an extended business trip to Europe. From across the room she could spot her costar, who flashed her a small smile before the director’s voice came booming in.

“Alright everyone! PLACES!”

And with that, Wilhelmina walked over to her place on the hotel set, fixing her hair as she did so. The stage manager did a silent countdown, and she got ready to recite her lines.

The scene began with Virginia excitedly talking to her aunt about their trip to a popular jazz club, “Oh, Great Aunt Elizabeth, tonight is going to be a riot! I’ve been ever so keen to get out of that stuffy apartment since father left on the business trip. Not that I’ve been lonely, of course – don’t you worry Lizzie – I’ve been quite busy, actually. I went out to a party with some of the girls the other night, and I’ve had oh so any suitors. Most of them are aces, but there’s one...I think his name is Fred Cooper? Anyway, he came over with Emily yesterday and acted like such a hotshot. He was going on and on about his travels across the world. As if I would ever believe he actually dined with the Queen! Such silliness.”

Great Aunt Elizabeth, who was played by film legend Olive Parker, hobbled over, a glamorously bedazzled cane and smartly tailored navy coat in hand. She was playing a comical, older role, and had some of the best parts of the film. “Please Virginia, I’m sure he’s just a bit of an oddball.” She then gestured towards the elevator with her cane. “Now, dear, the club is up a few level and these old bones are not going to make it up those stairs on their own,” She paused and surveyed ‘Virginia’ with a critical eye, “and, well, I’m not sure you’ll be much help either. Be a sweetheart, and go up and get someone to help me.”

Wilhelmina smiled knowingly, “You know Aunt, you could use the elevator as well.”

She scoffed, “Only a fool would ride in one of those death traps,” and took a seat on a nearby velvet couch while pointing to the elevator. “Now...run along.”

‘Virginia’ ignored the insult and smiled as she entered the elevator, where another camera was already rolling.

“What floor, Miss?” The actor playing the operator asked.

“The third, thank you.” She replied. After this line, Wilhelmina turned on her heel to see James Willis, who, in character as Fred Cooper, was standing in the other corner of the elevator.

“Oh, Virginia! I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” ‘Fred’ exclaimed excitedly. In the film, Fred had a hopeless crush on Virginia, who wouldn’t realize her own feelings for him until later, after the two end up spending the night at the club and around the city together, (thanks to some meddling by Great Aunt Elizabeth.)

“Yes...good to see you Fred. Great Aunt Elizabeth and I decided that it would be a nice evening to come out and hear something from this singer everyone has been raving about.” She said this line politely.

“Oh, yes, I’ve heard great things about them. And I must say, you are looking lovely this evening. I hope you’ll dance with me.”

Wilhelmina blushed and made a small smile, showing that Virginia perhaps wasn’t as cold towards Fred as she appeared. “Why, thank you Fred. And I suppose we could dance. I have been busy practicing.”

“Sounds great! And afterwards, I could tell you more about my lunch with the Queen!” At this, Wilhelmina’s face comically fell, and the two stood awkwardly in the elevator for a moment or two.

“CUT!” The director eventually yelled. Both Wilhelmina and James broke character, letting out small laughs. They would have to film the scene at least another three times, but Wilhelmina couldn’t help but be pleased with the result.

She had a feeling that this would be her biggest hit yet.

---

And be sure to go and help them out on kickstarter: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1029702011/the-case-of-the-gilded-lily

#figandford #shipwreckedcomedy #fig and ford

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nanasamantha · 8 years ago

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Elliott x Leah: The Picnic

With the tail-end of another Summer about to come to a close, Elliott decided to surprise Leah with a romantic picnic on the beach that evening. Daylight was ending quickly, but that never bothered the two, both agreeing that the ocean looks quite magical at nighttime anyways.

Elliott had to admit, his decision in this wasn’t entirely his own, haven been given the idea just a couple hours beforehand by the relatively new farmer. Apparently, the farmer loves fishing more than Willy. So much so, that for the first time that Elliott can recall, Willy was overstocked and couldn’t take the farmer’s haul for the day (or for the rest of the week, he added). This left the farmer with two options: throw away most of their catch, or give it away. Low and behold, Elliott was right there and the farmer took this opportunity to play love-maker with their favorite OTP; giving Elliott a couple of lobsters and some of the finest fish they had, and when Elliott tried protesting to their act of extreme kindness, they waved him off and reminded him how Leah loves the ocean and good seafood.

Elliott was still blushing. He knew how to cook very well, and he and Leah were in fact “dating,” as she’d call it, but they’ve both been trying to keep it a secret for Leah’s sake. Other than the Spring Dance festival, which Elliott knew most people thought was a “pity dance” because he was so recluse and new to the community, they’ve kept any other form of public interaction exclusive for public events, or occasionally, the saloon. It’s been nearly three years and she still worries about what her ex would say…

Leah is by no means a “weak-willed woman,” but the things Kel has done to her left her somewhat spooked. Leah said she usually brushed off Kel’s insults and bickering over financial concerns as nothing more than that, and would only work, come home, practice her art till the early hours of the next day, then sleep. Elliott understood this rhythm very well, since he too had fallen into a similar situation back at his family’s home. So what she told him next didn’t surprise him and, unfortunately, was something he understood too well: she said she started painting her own demise in her portraits. Her own ‘The End’. She wasn’t crazy, or suicidal, but once she noticed this, her stomach lurched, and she truly realized how unhappy she really was when she got to a point where nothing mattered to her anymore. Not even her life. All she ever cared about anymore was her sculptures and paintings, and she’s even expressed her dark feelings to Kel back then, and once again right before she left, but…

Surprise surprise, it seems Kel didn’t understand her feelings then and wrote her up as being crazy, saying she wouldn’t be so depressed if they had more money to do other things with, and reminding her how much her “hobbies” cost them both day and day out. Elliott faced something similar back at home, but his father and stepmother were both drunks as well. Leah says she still worries Kel will one day show up and try to force her back into a life she doesn’t care about again. Elliott promised her that wouldn’t happen, and she knows this, but she also fears he’ll do something drastic to get her to come back, even if that means causing harm to Elliott personally. Leah knows Kel as being nothing if not a coward, but he has friends who would help him. She’s met them before and knows they would. Dramatic? Probably, but Leah knows this man better than Elliott, so who’s to really say other than her? It’s not like Kel hasn’t physically harmed Leah before, even if it was “just one time”, so who was Elliott to him other than another obstacle in his way?

Elliott’s a man. And Kel wouldn’t dare hit another man for fear he’ll get hit back. Leah knew this, and even though Elliott may not like to fight and would rather walk away, Kel doesn’t know that. Elliott can tell Leah still worries Kel will bring friends to rough him up a bit, and while Elliott says he can defend himself just fine, Leah doesn’t buy it. 'There’s just no way Elliott could fight back, is there?’ Leah thinks, 'Can he even fight..?’

Still, it was beautiful out and with the sunset fast approaching, he went to go find Leah at the shores collecting shells and driftwood. She’s been coming to the beach quite often during the past few weeks and Elliott, to her request, usually leaves her alone to not disturbed her thoughts or cause suspicion: Something he’s always loathed, but agreed, understanding her concerns. To this day, Elliott had no idea how Leah’s ex would ever know of them dating since nobody in town even knows the man, but nevertheless, he respected her decision. However, on nights like tonight where it was just them on the entire beach, sun setting, food prepared, wine nearby that Elliott’s been storing for this exact moment with candles and soft music coming from his cabin, and a rose in his hand, he’d feel awfully silly if she were to say no.

“Well well, which book did you fall from, writer?” Leah laughed, getting a sigh of relief from Elliott, who worried she’d run off in the opposite direction immediately for some reason. He’s been told in the past he’s a bit “heavy” when it came to romance… 'like a beach whale,’ his former exes would say…

“Whichever one ends in you catching and reviving my wilting, lonely life, madame,” he spoke. 'Great,’ he thought, maybe now when she takes off running, she’ll at least be laughing…

“Hahah!”

'Here it goes,’ he almost turned away when she took the rose from his fingertips and hugged him tightly, “Who would’ve thought you’d be such a romantic, Elliott? You really do look great, as usual…” she added, “but…” she looked around, and Elliott couldn’t help but feel insulted, but brushed it off quickly and took her free-hand gently.

“I have a meal prepared outside my cabin…” to which seemed to surprise Leah as she bent over to look past Elliott’s frame at the picnic he’s set up just moments ago, “and it quite lovely out. The farmer just gave me far too much to eat on my own, and I know we both hate wasting good food…” Leah blushed, “… so, would you mind joining me?”

Leah quickly looked down then back up at Elliott, though not directly in his eyes it seemed. He knew this caught her completely off guard, and while he knew he truly shouldn’t be putting her in this situation, he desperately wanted her to say yes. Just once. Then maybe once she sees that nothing happens to him from Kel, she’ll get over this irrational fear of hers…

'Or maybe she still loves him…’ the thought was sudden, but stung a bit a few seconds after sinking in; which must've showed on his face slightly. 'Oh of course,’ he mused, 'how could I just be seeing this now?' Deep down, Elliott knew Leah wouldn't string him along if she still loved Kel. She wouldn't even be in Pelican Town if she still had feelings for the man, but to Elliott's insecure mind, it made perfect sense in that moment. Even though Leah took nothing from him, it's what she refused to give him that hurt the most. She said she really liked him, but her thoughts of Kel is what's holding her back! It all makes sense...

“Elliott?” Leah asked, but he silenced her with a kiss not wanting to say what was on his mind, and honestly, not even knowing how to start. This was a action he’d fully understand if he got slapped for and wouldn’t hold it against her. He never holds anything against her… When he slowly pulled away to look at her face, Leah pulled him back down and deepens the kiss. He was grateful, because not only was this his one and only wish for nearly two years now, but he also felt a couple of tears streaming down his face from his thought earlier and didn’t want her to see him like this.

Fortunately, they were like that long enough for the tears to dry completely. Elliott had no idea how long it was, but the sun had finally set and he swore he heard Willy walk past them off the docks and probably towards the saloon not too long ago. When they finally pulled apart, they were both burning bright red under the moonlight and panting a bit…

“Um…” Leah started, seemingly getting redder somehow, “ I - I’m actually… hungry as well. Le - lets eat, shall we?” Elliott, for fear of himself getting too emotional and crying again, swiftly picked Leah up bridal style and walked back towards his cabin where the candles seemed to had browned out…

Finally, as he gently placed her on the mat next to the food and wine, he spoke,

“We shall…”

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airoasis · 5 years ago

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"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/think-fast-father-ted-father-ted-series-2-episode-2-dead-parrot-3/

"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

Correct come on the advisors staring at television all night time it’s a enormous wave Queens like chewing gum for the eyes no thanks head anyway I’ve got these crispier okay that is what I do I get a cheese and onion one and a salt and vinegar one and i devour them in the equal go discontinue leak is getting extra stools I consider we might ought to move himself and put that focus on ders right burn k i am a completely happy camper God Almighty that is gonna rate a fortune to fix where we going to get the money feel Google how will we elevate some cash mm-hmm again i do know uh-huh aha are you thinking what i am pondering I consider although Ted yes haha however now wait i’m now not certain I imply it is a gigantic step and where are we gonna get long past i’m going to be speaking about oh wait a minute now honestly I would had been enthusiastic about whatever distinctive you notion we’ll rob a financial institution ginger I did Azurill this isn’t a Bruce Willis movie I was once considering more alongside the lines of a rattles entirely how does a prized or you have got bought me there Ted I feel we will get some thing how does the foundations of the diocese had been allowed or a shock each couple years it can be go Ted we have got to move them over right here that’s printing Latifah waking them up oh there it’s father father Tonio’s get again come on Zoey we’re gonna must lose you once more don’t eat that for the no it’s vacant water and i’ve been looking up the file and the island hasn’t been given some thing to wrassle since those two bags of cold in 1964 I think we’re entitled beneath the foundations of the diocese oh that’s a big creation oh that’s wonderful thanks very a lot your grace sure thanks once more all proper bye bishop Renard bye no appear then lot’s of luck toodles we’re being given a auto a automobile that’s a exquisite prize head what’s not that extraordinary father Finnegan obtained one final yr him do not you google the dancing priest dances for peace yeah she’s still going oh sure certainly he danced throughout the united states last year new york to los angeles he used to be mugged about as soon as every 15 miles satisfactory without the room sorted out in no time did you that father cup of tea father no thanks mr.Toys what do you suppose of her sure are you sure you is not going to have a cop it is a prize in our little one raffle right just the drop to your hand then one is like this going i will take the tray o.K. Horlicks i’ll put the determine line in case you wish to have some more once you will see that in well-covered seem at that so the tent of the vehicle wash soap they are dead corabeth it need to were whilst you hit that fell on the bike don’t ask anybody who is alright anyway I so i am getting up dad mustn’t just take that out with the highest of a hammer i’m looking that field over there Oh continuing to try this I simply must the wrong way it’s no use Ted you can under no circumstances get it surely right I suggestion I had it there a whilst ago you understand you’re watching okay like an less difficult to hold banging away you’re a perfectionist head you understand it’s no longer too dangerous quantity look so no we are not able to give that away the prize okay why don’t you sleep on it see the way you consider within the morning perhaps you’re right with simply destroyed a automobile that’s worth seven grand come on appear what spend more in it you don’t know the signs we’re lifeless the bitch will kill us we’re lifeless we’re lifeless oh thanks to Allah I more often than not needed that however yeah don’t ever do it once more how what are we going to can we would run away no they simply in finding us once more they normally do all correct little bit that other phase that has the automobile on the dancing priest fitted him sure and it would be the same sort of car and everything how might we get him to offer it to us possibly perhaps we would just get a lender’s ah however when somebody wins it within the raffle they is not going to want to provide it again no doubles that is going to sound very very immoral stick with me what if what if we equipped the rasuls in order that we surprise then we might bring the automobile back ooh that’ll be terribly improper Ted i don’t feel we should do this it wouldn’t be dishonest rather to simply it used to be simply the case of structuring the raffle in this sort of method that the return involves the benefactors as a substitute than the beneficiaries mmm Google severely hear if Bishop Brennan finds out that we wrecked the car he’ll kill us and homicide is a terrible horrible sin duda so by means of committing this little sin we truely be saving a bishop soul fair sufficient and head come on father we’re off to see the dancing freak off we go God look it is the same colour grownup you intellect Jack here I will probably be extra oh whats up come on in will you join me but be right down to holo i’m no longer what you learn uncle oh come on Ted prayer is not the one approach to reward God you realize and it maintains your face is pink all correct then is there something on the telephone about taking a mortgage at a vehicle sure you would be doing us a satisfactory prefer oh don’t be silly simply take care of it do not supply it away in a bet or some thing and somebody mentioned they saw it on tv lately in a documentary you might be in Belfast for whatever that wasn’t me that used to be a more youthful fella ripped off the suggestion don’t like speaking about well I higher be heading on thanks again for no main issue Oh bingo Olaf enter Duggal you go away a mark in the window are we there yet Google it’s a long force you want to head for a whilst yes the whole thing’s excellent our Father usually saved a as soon as again how are you doing back there father ingesting for the like acid your try this to clear you up our hair is grizzled head seem perhaps you will have to have rested lifter it can be an extended drive you you’ve gotten a bit sleep o.K. K we Laszlo believe the air and the night shift taking it by means of till three:00 dr.Dale excellent morning sirs that is John Morgan underneath John Morgan morning exhibit it is a attractive day so let’s start off with some lodge magic cut altitudes not for a moment there relatively huh let’s go via it once more I fill the hash with the Lord of tickets the entire identical quantity on them say eleven eleven to 1 and that is easy to recall hit and then once I’m doing the draw will ensure that you’ve got that quantity right so we won’t ought to exchange in any respect well that is absolutely how we’re cheating do it okay okay k so let me get this straight you’ll be able to be sporting the Hat no no I is not going to be carrying any hats the tickets might be in – gotcha but your piranhas needed to provide me the sign I won’t be giving you any alerts Google I just pull out your ticket and also you say that is my quantity and are available up and accumulate the prize so the prize says what is this the auto alright yeah this is the sandwiches for tonight always a menace I forgot to do my scan what scan is that could be a joint I isolate to sandwich at random and check out it and if it would not meet my specifications I put a variety of them in the bin they’re satisfactory proper so are we all started a whole raring to go Ted who’s doing the disco father Billy oh the wire the Spin grasp quality virtually I can’t look ahead to tonight like that I sell a load of tickets first about I sell greater than you do Ted hmm no this is a bit love it’s just a little like the sting and i’m Robert Redford and you’re Paul Newman the Spin master oh yeah proper accomplished it can be like NASA how do you hold track of all of it oh sure it’s particularly simple fairly you feel here we’ve got the 2 turntables which I control from the blending guest right here this which means that that you could flip between files if you wish to get just a little of an old jam going you know good I inform you i can twist what files we acquired for us files and there’s reviewers each get them all jumpin ok please what’s up – you forgot the train did you seem at any files only a 2d uh preserve on a 2d I could have one have one open the vehicle cup of tea father going how would you prefer to be the primary to buy a chance ticket oh look – father i have not taken part in a random John these years and that i consider I possibly in with a excellent hazard today shut up silly that’s how many takes just one ah all proper I handiest want one my fortunate number by no means lets me down oh I see which one is that 11 what at all times been lucky for me and we’re out of eleventh I concept I used to be your first purchaser sure sure but come what I feel this one got here with out eleventh I mentioned of wash i will give you a quantity ten and a quantity one and that laptops can have 19 have them each for 50p no i do not consider so father i’d better have my money back that is pleasure for cherishing proof sorry father I don’t want whatever Jack’s bought to always reply the individual oh god I better go on rescue me be long gone mad no he is pleasant they may be simply having a chat but Dougal people the most boring priest on this planet he was once working in Nigeria a few years ago and he woke up one morning to seek out that each person in the village it has sufficient of them and long gone off in a colossal boat sank after mine there eaten via alligators we run the gas off the electrical energy and the electrical power off the gasoline and we saved 200 pounds a yr however then a number of weeks later god i’m going to by no means disregard it now we got a new boiler are you all right there Fozzie i’ll simply turn and comply with the man there through the item there final year how did you fare with yours I do not know what due to the fact that you understand they have got no morals and and no recognize for human lifestyles but what they do have and no person can deny us now they have got the best assortment of boilers on this planet and include Canada I just wish to borrow Jack from the second correct oh god I remember the first time I noticed that boiler no beautiful i do not think you need to purchase a ticket father Oh did you get them fancy Ted considering that you realize that you may purchase them down the shop you understand any quantity you love now one seven twenty a hundred and twelve foot all of the means up to four hundred nine I suppose it’s and if you need extra they ship off for them and now you send them back in an envelope now you realize the entire present day factor now rectangular of four corners you that’s the best way i love them anyway the ancient envelopes oh yes yeah no circular envelopes for me no means maintain that used to be a company identify ye had problem with a job Oh tickets for the raffle someone any individual that knows how to deposit kick it come over here thank you very so much thank you sorry no longer the wait individuals the concern with the historical disco fortunately though I’ve got a couple of old neighbors to do a few numbers please welcome father Kieran for the Raptor father cavities and father Leonard foolish we’re gonna be okay located the file okay all right how concerning the tickets you keep bees you are for four kilos playing heads blowing me Father I imply grandfather each of them scan power the Delta pending to the name Oh what occurred to me no supercharger don’t we go now i’m going to write them go forward first-rate what number of when you take two thousand come on right here appear at I at all times do your examine no I I cannot say that that is that’s too much i will add retract that you may amend the tax no no seem you you preserve them you should be throwing around that type of money and i would like an extra ticket booklet this one’s gone out already fuck you bought out already gonna retest i can rarely maintain a straight face again there prime of the town mm like that so you understand what to do on the birds our goat head ok come on oh thank you Father Billy and now let’s get on to the fundamental stuff the raffle the final rasa-lila that was once very interesting since the people who ran the raffle clearly wanna so it’s now not amazing for that to happen k and the profitable quantity is quantity 11 quantity 11 number eleven if anyone has that quantity will they come up on stage what’s that you simply tape all of the work you need to winning quantity what determine of Bob had been very historical father drove over wire acquired on my Chicago what are you doing sorry Ted I was watching on the ticket the other way up i do know what a wonderful evening now we have had now we have raised enough money to repair the roof and now we have had a quality time so let me simply paint you all now for coming alongside and ask you to stand for our country wide Anthem shake i’m going to see you next week please please one more chance to fly up please see all thanks very a lot mrs.Toys gosh a citadel pity priest no they they they have got you each way you understand I was once within the a a there you already know for a whilst and and the insurance was very expensive I all right I needed to crash the car simply to get the money again they had witnesses who stated they’d see me recommended towards the wall you understand there was once speak of me going to jail for a while yourself mr. John horrible information it can be father Finnegan he’s all right overseas no the doctors warned of Dakota 10 to 12 hours a day but he simply couldn’t discontinue dancing terrible information what’s up Ted its father Finnegan had a coronary heart attack no are there any more chip repair doesn’t mean we will maintain the carrot head Coogan’s that’s a horrible factor to assert the person is simply pull wait a second you are correct we will additional take off how’d you get the air recent story ah Oh God blame the vehicle now not the brand new auto tell me the truth have you been ingesting yes inform me from the opening the place did you force chops please nook shops hi there Oh shucks tow trucks specific perhaps there is some thing we can salvage it can be no longer about head yes god I concept to be much worse than that Oh bollocks the condominium shouldn’t be that unhealthy oh well as a minimum you still have the rattle cash for the roof he simply provide me 24 hours please so because of that low stress will commonly be seeing a lot more rain at least unless July or probably until August God Almighty think someone being so dishonest as to steal raffle cash from a priest well no the raffle was rigged head I consider we will be all right as long as the tree would not fall via the roof for a moment there I suggestion a bit of advice my father gave to me now this no longer simplest refers to lagging but all varieties of insulation he said don’t ever at no no wait although it might normally normally no no it was certainly not yeah I forgotten that mine what’s your favourite buzzing noise what wouldn’t it be mmm mmm the first one there now that is the sound of a fridge the second one 2d one that that is the sound of a man buzzing yeah lady humming III knew a woman as soon as but she died soon after now in the event you push me to it i’d have got to say my favorite colour was gray so blue a soft blue with a hint of grey now Lauren orange that’s an orange or Matlin i’ve an extension put on the apartment now and that i put it on the extension so the residence is in a circle now easy you

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batterymonster2021 · 5 years ago

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"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

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"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

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adventuresnluv · 8 years ago

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Day 3

Canyon Ranch Spa

Saturday morning began with a trip to the spa. I had a pedicure planned and my girlfriends were planning to get day passes. Stepping into Canyon Ranch Spa at the Venetian is like stepping into a little slice of heaven. The amenities it offers is what continues to draw me to Vegas and a day pass is a fantastic value for everything it provides.

Tip: A day pass is $50 which includes full use of the spa ALL DAY!

I’m torn between which room is my favorite but I tend to return to the herbal room, the salt room and doze in the water room. C. adores the sauna and jacuzzi. I have spent many hours relaxing here nibbling on complimentary healthy snacks and drinking Spa water to ensure ample hydration after evening outs on the Strip.

If fruit and light beverages aren’t enough, check out the cafe for heartier options – including adult beverages.

This is a clothing optional facility and cell phones are frowned upon. Lock it up. Turn off the outside. Let the gentle zen atmosphere melt the stress away.

Brunch @ Bouchon Bistro

Tucked on the 10th floor is Bouchon, a Thomas Kellar, restaurant. The weekend menu features chicken and waffles – big enough to share. Actually, even though C and I shared, we still had left overs! This meal is one I return to whenever I get a chance. The baked chicken is savory and moist. The herb waffles are light as air yet crispy. Add the syrup and gravy and it’s a meal to dream of.

Tip: Chicken and Waffles are only served on the weekend.

We left the Bistro filled with goodness but it called for a walk to work off the indulgent meal. The afternoon slipped away quickly as we meandered our way down the strip to watch the water show at the Bellagio before heading back to the Venetian to pick up C’s car.

C and A were driving back to L.A. And our walk had already put them behind. With hugs and a bit of a heavy heart I said goodbye. Our weekend was fading into another memory.

Saturday Night Solo

What’s a girl to do Saturday night in Vegas all alone?

My original plan was to go see Willie Nelson. It was the last night he was playing. But I dawdled and it sold out before I had a chance to buy a ticket.

Tip: Plan ahead and buy show tickets early, especially if they happen to be Willie Nelson!

Deciding to keep things low key, I forgo dressing up (a sin I’m sure for some but it was just me). With a touch of lip gloss, I tossed on a pair of leggings, my green Lucky brand t-shirt and headed downstairs in search of a salad. I figured after staying out till early morning Friday night I’d grab a salad and head upstairs to pack and get to bed early.

Silly rabbit. The universe had other plans in store for me.

After enjoying a salad at the Steak House (yes, I know) I wandered the casino floor. A had given me a .49 voucher to play and I figured I should find a machine to feed. My ears perked up. I heard music.

Before I knew it I forgot all about playing the slots and let the sound of music magnetically pull me into Gilley’s. An empty stool, perfectly placed in a corner, appeared at the crowded bar as if waiting for me.

Alrighty then.

I reasoned one drink couldn’t hurt.

I kicked back and watched the dancers spin on the floor. I accepted a dance. Refused a dance. I hadn’t planned on dancing. I wasn’t dressed up, the opposite in fact. In my gold flats with my cross body bag swinging on my hip made for awkward dancing and I wasn’t comfortable leaving my bag alone on the bar. This is a crazy town and I’m kind of partial to my pink lip gloss.

And there I was, when it was time to go, and then they walked in.

A group of six boisterous guys, fit, and very tall pulled up next me ordering a round of drinks. I’m only five foot nothing and I felt like I had been surrounded by a group of friendly giants – cute, but still giants.

I watched them now since I couldn’t see the dance floor through their backsides. One guy, heart melting smile, almost landed on my lap, he moved quickly away and apologized. Another lanky guy smiled, said hi, towering over me. What’s a short girl to do with a friendly giant? She invites him to sit down. “Please sit,” I almost pleaded, as the sky high beautiful men were making me dizzy from looking up at them.

Tip: Casual look, messy hair and lip gloss seemed to be a hit with the guys. It’s called being yourself. Big hit.

He sat.

HELLLOOOO, R.

They ended up being a group of guys from Ohio. R introduced me to his 21 year old nephew who was celebrating his birthday. Ladies, this kid is adorable and so sweet. Yes, he’s technically a man, but when you are younger than my kids my brain has a hard time seeing anything else but an over grown child.

Anyway, I’m off on another tangent. Let’s get back to R. We talked. We laughed. R asked me to go with them to Senior Frogs. Again, what’s a girl to do? I went.

I followed a parade of gorgeous guys with R behind me, out one door, around the casino floor and into Senior Frogs. We never left TI but it felt like we had been transported to Mexico during spring Break. The night club music was pumping and young D came alive. R explained this was more his nephew’s speed. Plus his nephew had caught a glimpse of a pretty girl. That will do it every time!

Over water and a few dances R and I connected. The guys were mingling but always seemed to be keeping tabs on young D. I pulled R outside of Senior Frog and found a seat on the casino floor just before a fight broke out.

R congratulates me for leaving when we did.

Tip: Vegas, after midnight, and booze means it’s always time to go.

D weaves his way towards us minus the girl. He needs food and sleep. Stifling a yawn myself, I suggest the Coffee Shop across the casino.

D devours chicken wings. His uncle teases him about “catching feelings” for the girl in line. He vehemently denies it. Have I mentioned how adorable this kid is?

R gets up to pay the check. D leans over the table and tries to whisper but it comes out a bit loud and slurred that R is a great guy…a really good guy…

I nod, my eyes going to R, taking in his tall, lanky form, tattoos painted along his arms. His blue eyes crinkle in a smile catching me looking. Yeah, I agree, he’s a good guy.

It’s time to say goodnight.

R walks me to the elevator. It’s 3:30 in the morning. I still have to pack.

We say goodnight and he takes the kid back to their hotel.

It’s always the unexpected adventures that are the best.

“You made me catch feelings.” I read the text over again. I smile.

Vegas, Baby… until the next time!

Cheers!

Chicken & Waffles and Catching Feelings Day 3 Canyon Ranch Spa Saturday morning began with a trip to the spa. I had a pedicure planned and my girlfriends were planning to get day passes.

#blogs #Bouchon #Canyon Ranch Spa #Flowers #gratitude #Las Vegas #life #lifestyle #Love #music #Photos #relationships #travel

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batterymonster2021 · 5 years ago

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"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

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"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

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airoasis · 5 years ago

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"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/think-fast-father-ted-father-ted-series-2-episode-2-dead-parrot-3/

"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

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