#anyway pandora hearts enjoyers this is for you

[misciouscave]

"When I draw this sword I've already entrusted my life to it. But don't misunderstand ! I didn't draw it to seek death !" 🐈🐈‍⬛

[ignitesthestxrs]

I know you said you’ve gone back into it slowly but any book recs?

yes absolutely!! i have read some bangers lately tbh. also another thing i am trying to do is start uuuh reviewing what i'm reading so i will link a couple of those as well. but here is a sporadic collection of my reading enjoyments of the last year or so!

IF FOUND RETURN TO HELL // THE DEATH I GAVE HIM by Em X. Liu

em is hands down one of the best writers i know with prose that will punch you in the face and leave you asking if you can have another, please.

IF FOUND RETURN TO HELL is a queer found family novella featuring a done-with-this protag working in a wizarding call centre who abruptly comes down with a case of 'sweet angel baby boy possessed by demon hell child' in a broken magical healthcare system where following protocol is more important than like, helping people. so what is journeyman wen to do if not, you know, help anyway?

THE DEATH I GAVE HIM is the queer scifi hamlet retelling of my dreams, which is funny because i didn't care about hamlet until this book taught me how to. a thoughtful exploration on the nature of adaptation, death & immortality, and also what happens when your best friend is an AI and you wanna fuck him.

IN COLD BLOOD by Truman Capote the original true crime novel. still stuck in my truman blorbo moment. full review here

ASSASSIN'S APPRENTICE by Robin Hobb classic 90s fantasy with surprisingly emotional focus on the protag in a way i really dug. unhinged levels of accidental queerbaiting in a way that i enjoyed rather than despaired of. full review here.

PANDORA'S JAR: WOMEN IN THE GREEK MYTHS by Natalie Haynes a great overview of classical women that takes into account multiple sources and the way they have been read over centuries, and how the time in which a tale is being told affects the tale just as much as what the text of the story actually is. does a good job of walking the middle ground between like, historical sexism and the reflexive girlbossification instinct.

IN OTHER LANDS by Sarah Rees Brennan the queer harry potter offshoot we all actually deserve. portal fantasy with an acerbic main character who will save the world out of sheer spite because the world doesn't seem to think he can save it, or want him to do it even if he could. a genuinely lovely musing on the nature of loneliness, what abuse does to a child, how it's hard but possible to overcome the prejudices you learn when you're young, and how eventually, you're going to have to make the decision to let yourself be loved.

SHE WHO BECAME THE SUN by Shelley Parker-Chan truly i don't have the word for how fucking excellent this queer epic fantasy is. set in mongol-ruled china, this book is a masterclass in political intrigue, historical fiction, military fantasy, and also genderfuckery. feat. the kind of tragedy you see coming for several hundred pages and still takes your breath away when it hits, and also lesbian fisting. anyone who says books based in history can't get queer can get fucked.

A MARVELLOUS LIGHT by Freya Marske for a total 180 in mood, here is your queer romantic fantasy set in an Edwardian England that is reflective of the fact that like, queer people did in fact exist in Edwardian England. A lighter fare that nonetheless will hit you right in the heart and leave you delighted that a) there's a second book out now and b) the third one is coming soon. also Freya is an Artiste when it comes to writing good sex scenes, which

i belatedly realise it seems like i'm focusing on in this post but i just! like a queer text that tackles queer sex with nuance and interest and the horror and/or joy of the body, and the above authors are all fucking masters at their art (which includes, but by no means is limited to, writing about fucking)

[warren-keplers-funk-band]

can we talk about how much more daddy quaritch is in the new avatar??

both literally and figuratively i guess hAH

now, listen, let me explain myself!! i know he's a raging annoying bastard asshole but like- actually no i cannot explain myself. that's just who i am ig i look at a man who is actively trying to decimate a whole species, is burning down people's homes and killing beautiful wildlife and i'm like babygirl <3 why you do this to me

god i genuinely don't know what happened i had like no strong feelings about quaritch in the first film past him being a vaguely amusing if unorginal villain but dAMn,, idk what kinda direction they gave stephen lang in this one but he was like 500% more attractive what is wrong with me

and like honestly he was the highlight of the movie for me because i was incredibly dissappointed by the writing and plot, but the image of a band of na'vi bodies in full camo and sunglasses and military buzzcuts combined with the ponytail was so fucking ridiculous that i actually enjoyed myself.

also sidenote,, the colonel and his goons being brought back, while enjoyable, is genuinely some of the stupidest shit i have witnessed in mainstream cinema. you expect me to believe that they put an easily replaceable (as proven by the fact that he was already replaced) dumbass military leader and some of his dudes into bodies of an alien species they fucking hate- because, what, the colonel wanted revenge against jake?? that's enough reason to grow him a fucking, as established, super expensive alien clone backup???? sure. yeah. ok. if they have the technology to grow alien clones can they not just grow human clones??? man idk. sure. it was to infiltrate jake's camp. whatever.

anyways yes quaritch was incredibly fucking hot in this film and i blame it 50% on the fact that he's now a CONFLICTED FATHER??? yes absolutely sign me up that's my type

like sure i high key hated how patriarchal this film ended up being with so much importance being placed on fatherhood, as well as them forcing some connection between spider and quaritch when they literally didn't know each other bUT putting all that aside- i live for!! bastard psycho characters!! going soft!! against their will!!

spider asked him not to kill the na'vi woman and he didn't???? uhuh yes. spider was being threatened by neytiri and quaritch actually faltered??? gave up his hostage, his advantage against jake?? absofuckinglutely yes please

like i hate where the sentiment came from, but i love that it's there.

i was half expecting a quaritch redemption arc when spider was teaching them the language and how to fly ikran and all that- after all, jake did say that the problem with pandora was loving her too much. honestly, it could still come, fingers crossed oml i'd fucking perish, quaritch actually realising pandora is beautiful, quaritch redemption??? pls like he is stuck in this body now whether he likes it or not he's not remotely controlling it, would it take that much for him to start getting convinced??

obviously he has to die, he's going to die, he's committed too many crimes against the protagonists to live bUT even more internal conflict??? deathbed apology??? paternal instincts winning over revenge????? dying to save spider??? please please mr cameron i'll pay anything to watch babygirl get fucked over emotionally it's what i live for

HE'S SO HOT

sorry this was a mess i just needed to get it out there i love my annoying bastard i have some sort of a complex probably

little meow meow, fucked ass bitch love him love him with all my heart

[nyxlaufeyson]

Put to the Test (Pandora's Box)- Chapter 8

Main Masterlist - Pandora's Box Masterlist

A/N: Kinda basic chapter, we all probably saw it coming, but necessary and I think unique enough to be enjoyable.

The rainbow colors engulfed them once again, and Pandora arrived back on Midgard with a weight newly lifted off her shoulders. Loki and Thor stood next to her, and they landed on a grassy patch behind the tower.

Tony and several other Avenger’s were waiting there for them, and so the trio went up to them. Pandora received congratulations on her newfound freedom, and Tony insisted they all went inside for drinks. He was a bit wary that Loki was still there, since he was supposed to leave after they found Pandora, but Thor explained that he was there under official Asgardian orders. Plus, there was a case that required magic expertise. Despite the many rough patches in the relationship between Loki and the Avengers, they could use his help.

They made it to the common rooms, and Pandora took a seat next to Loki on a couch. Drinks were passed around, and she happily took one. Natasha was sitting nearby, and struck up conversation. “So, what are you going to do now?”

Pandora shrugged. “Not entirely sure. I suppose I shall just take things one step at a time. Although, I would like to get out of my current dingy apartment. Never liked the place, but it was convenient for the situation I was in.” 

At this, Tony made his way to a seat across from her. “I know a place, if you're interested.” He said, and the other people in the room seemed to suddenly be listening in to their conversation.

She raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “Pray tell, where might this place be?”

Tony sent her a smirk. “Just in the heart of New York. Fast-running wifi and all the amenities you’ll ever need. All while running on a clean, self-sufficient energy source. Although, it does come with a job.”

Pandora caught on quickly, and she narrowed her eyes. “And what would this job entail?” She asked. At this point, most other conversations in the room had ceased, everyone focused on her and Tony. 

“You know, saving the world, superhero stuff, all that jazz.” Tony said, taking a confident swig of his drink. “It’s got a nice salary, you know, and plenty of benefits.”

She looked around the room, eyes flickering from Avenger to Avenger. Could this really be her life? Could she be one of them? “I wouldn’t want to impose.” 

Natasha laughed. “Impose? Please. You seem level-headed enough, and me and Wanda need help keeping these idiots in check.”

Tony threw his hands to his chest in mock offense. “Who are you calling an idiot?!” He exclaimed, before turning back to Pandora. “Seriously though, we already took a team vote. Well, except for Thor, because he wasn’t here. Thor?”

Thor gave her a grin. “You’ve got great potential. I would be honored to have you as a teammate.” 

That left one person who hadn’t had a say. Of course, Loki might not be viewed as a normal Avenger, but it still mattered to Pandora. She turned her glance to him, and he gave her a silent nod in confirmation.

“Well then, when do I start?” 

~~~~~

It took less than a week before Pandora felt more at home in the tower than she had in centuries. Wherever she had lived in the past, it was always with the notion that it was temporary. She never felt the need for any decorations or too much furniture, as it was going to be left behind anyway.

Even the few times she did try to decorate those places, they never were ‘home.’ It was just the place where she happened to sleep in. 

As she sat in her new room, on an extremely comfortable couch, she looked at everything she had done to it. When she first got the room, it was already pretty nice and furnished. But, they had given Pandora full creative control, so she used it to make things a bit more her style.

There was a bookshelf that she used to hold all her novels in one corner, with a little reading nook set up next to it. Blue accents were everywhere in the room, matching the shade of her hair. She had a desk set up as well, with a new Stark computer sitting on top. Beside it, the flowers her brother had gifted her in the vase that Loki had conjured. It was odd that they hadn’t wilted.

But it wasn’t the luxurious room that made the place feel homey, it was the people. Even if she hadn’t yet formed deep connections with her new teammates, she wasn’t in solitude. Everyone was friendly and she enjoyed their company. As much as she tried to be independent, and she was, she could not deny her need for companionship.

A knock sounded at her door, so she got up and opened it to find Loki. Out of everyone in the tower, Loki had to be her favorite. Not only had they hit it off on Asgard, but there was just something about him that made Pandora feel seen. After decades of hiding, she found herself desperately wanting to be seen.

He smiled at her, and she smiled back. “Are you ready?” He asked, and Pandora nodded. Today, she was set to be evaluated on her abilities. This would help them sort out what her strengths and weaknesses were, so that they could assign missions based on skill sets.

Even if she was confident in herself and her abilities, she was still nervous. Most, if not all, of the Avengers would be watching and assessing her. She might not know everyone on a deep and personal level yet, but she still yearned for their acceptance. What if they thought she wasn’t good enough?

Loki seemed to notice her inner turmoil. “Are you nervous?” He asked, and she gave him a sheepish smile. 

“A little.” Pandora admitted with a shrug. She knew that it wasn’t logical that they would be unimpressed, but she couldn’t help it. Not after being rejected once by the people she loved.

He patted her on the shoulder as they walked down the hall. “You shouldn’t be. Everyone save for me and Thor are human, yet you are not. That already gives you a jump on strength, stamina, and speed. When you filter in the magic, you exceed each and every person in this tower. Except for me, of course.”

Pandora laughed, and Loki chuckled. “Gods, you are so full of yourself!” She joked.

He shrugged with a smirk. “When you’re surrounded by idiots, it is often hard to not be.” His smirk softened. “But, really, only a few of us here have magic. Sure, Thor has lightning, but it’s not really magic. That’s just a singular trick. But me and you, even the red witch, we are the ones that can really do some damage.”

His words soothed her, and they made it to their destination. They had to split, since Loki needed to go up and behind the room to a viewing area, behind reinforced glass. He turned to her, looking her in the eyes. “Good luck. Not that you’ll need it” 

He gave her a genuine smile, and she nodded. “Thanks.” With that, he departed, and she stood in front of two large, heavy-looking doors.

With a deep breath, she opened them and walked in. The room was huge, and at least a few stories high. The walls were stark white with weird metal plates spaced out over them. In the corner of the room lay weaponry. She was told that the room was a simulation room, where technology was used to simulate different situations and scenarios. 

Somehow, the technology was advanced to the point where she would be able to feel some things, but she wouldn’t get seriously hurt. For example, she could feel and take punches, but a knife wouldn’t be able to puncture through her skin. 

On the very upper part of the front wall, was a dark glass window. Craning her neck upwards, she was able to make out Tony and the others. Loki was up there with them, and he sent her an encouraging smile and a thumbs up.

After a moment, the speakers allowed her to hear them through the wall. “Alright, Princess Leia, let’s see what you’ve got.”

Pandora rolled her eyes. Tony, ever the nickname-giver, had taken to calling her Princess Leia. All because of her hair, that always seemed to be in space buns. They weren’t even the same style, since Pandora’s were braided at the top, but he didn’t care. Apparently, the hairstyle was enough of a similarity to gain her a semi-permanent nickname.

“We’re going to start with simple enough stuff,” Tony informed her, “Go ahead to that table in the corner and pick a close combat weapon.”

She looked over the table of sharp tools and weapons. Each of them had different pros and cons, good for different situations. “Do I get any information on what I’m going to be doing?”

If she squinted hard enough, she could make out Tony shaking his head. “Nope. You might not get that information about the field either. Sometimes, you gotta make do. All you know is that you will be in close proximity with the enemy.”

Pandora sighed, settling on a pair of daggers. A sword would be good for something large and singular, but daggers were easier to fight multiple beings at once. She just hoped she wouldn’t be asked to fight some sort of dragon. Daggers wouldn’t be of much help then.

When she turned back to the front wall with daggers in hand, the lights in the room changed their hue, and she saw holograms begin to form. “And one more thing,” she heard Tony say, “avoid using magic.”

With this, she frowned. “What?” She asked. “Why?”

“Never know when it won’t be accessible, plus we need to see your combat skills without any magical aid, now, stand in the middle on the black x” He said, and she nodded, moving to the center of the room where there was an ‘x’ taped.

Suddenly, the room turned blue as a graphical, intangible wall swept the room. No longer was she in a near-empty space, but instead in a grass field. Six people appeared in a circle around her, and she held her daggers at the ready. 

The first one lunged at her, so she kicked them in the stomach and turned around to meet her two more of them about to pounce. She took her daggers and stabbed each in the stomach, quickly pulling the weapons back out of the flesh before continuing to fight.

Fighting six individuals at once proved difficult, but not impossible. As long as she focused her attention on whoever was closest to landing a blow, taking them out, and moving on, she was fine. After going back around to all six, making sure they were out for good, the bodies of the enemies disappeared. 

A television–sized hologram screen popped up in front of her, and she read her statistics. Five minutes and thirty-two seconds, six enemies down, and, most importantly when on the real battlefield, no fatal wounds received.

The grassland disappeared, and the old room came back. “Good job,” Tony’s voice projected from the viewing room, “hold onto those daggers, that was just a warm-up. Now we’re going to send you to a city that is actively being destroyed. Your goal is to eliminate as many of the enemies as possible, while helping to get civilians to safety. There is a building with a horse statue outside, that’s where you want to get all the civilians.”

Pandora nodded. “And how do I differentiate the enemy from the public?” She asked, although she figured the enemy might not be visibly different. 

“Well, if they’re shooting at you, I would say it’s safe to assume that they’re the bad guy.” Tony said, and Pandora rolled her eyes at the obvious. “This simulation will be longer than the first, since it is the major team situation that we must be prepared for. Try not to kill any civilians.”

A table appeared in front of her, with different guns and weapons. “Grab whatever you need for this, and don’t worry about the bullets ricocheting off the walls. There are no real bullets in them, although you’ll feel the recoil. Oh, and for this you can use your magic.”

She was glad to be able to use her magic, it always boosted her confidence in her performance, even if she could kick ass without them. Stepping up to the table, she grabbed a simple handgun and created a magic holster to hold it. She held onto one of the daggers, putting the other away so she could use her fingers to work her magic without interference. 

The room around her faded away, and it was replaced with what appeared to be a copy of a half-destroyed San Francisco. Pandora had actually lived in San Francisco for a few months, but it was too hot for her liking.

She surveyed her surroundings for a moment before she heard footsteps in her direction. She hid behind a broken wall, peeking out to see a man in a black mask with a gun. Right behind him was a small child and their mother, attempting to hide. Pandora wanted to go ahead and strike the man, but she had to confirm that he was the enemy and not some random civilian who happened to be wearing a mask. He did have a gun, but it also was an extreme situation. It was America, like it or not, lots of people had guns and would probably use them at the end of the world.

The child with the woman made a sound, and the man turned around and pointed the gun at them. That was all the reason Pandora needed before tackling the man to the ground and disarming him. She used magic to knock him out, not wanting to scare the child. It might be a fake child, but it made her feel better. She had scared enough people as it was. 

“Follow me.” She said to them, although she was unsure where the building she needed to get them too was. Picking a direction, she tracked her way through the rubble, stopping every now and then to take down an enemy that decided to pop up. 

Unfortunately, one caught her by surprise and managed to knock her to the ground. Before he could do anything, though, she flicked her fingers and his neck snapped. It wasn’t messy, the only evidence was a loud pop. 

She got up and found a few stragglers here and there, and soon enough she was leading a group of around ten. Because it was just her luck, she heard a cluster of voices just around the corner. She rushed the people into a nearby building, telling them to stay put for a moment.

There was a group of five outside, and not all of them were human. In fact, one looked like an octopus. But now wasn’t the time for pictures, so she grabbed her gun and quickly shot two in the head before ducking behind a car. 

As the two she shot fell to the ground, gunshots and yells were thrown her way. Working under the assumption that the two she shot were already incapacitated, she moved to the right of the car and threw a piece of trash she had grabbed to the left. 

The three remaining foes went towards the sound, giving her the opportunity to shoot two more in the back of the head. The last man managed to turn around in time to fire out a round at her, so she had to roll and hide again. While she did this, she dropped her gun, so she opted for magic instead. 

She didn’t see the man fall through the hole she created in the ground, but she could hear him scream as he reappeared a hundred feet in the sky and plummeted to the ground. Satisfied, she went back to where the civilians were and got them out. In the distance, she saw the designated safe building with the horse statute, and managed to get everyone in without incident. 

This went on for a while: locating civilians, eliminating any threat, and getting said civilians to safety. She was pretty confident she did fine. It wasn’t exactly hard, and she even found herself having some fun. Maybe joining the Avengers would be something that proved to be a good thing. 

Eventually the room faded back to normal and her statistics showed up in front of her. 

She had spent  twenty-eight minutes in the simulation, eliminated 26 enemies, and gotten all of the civilians to safety without receiving fatal wounds.

“Good going Leia.” Tony said while she could hear a little clapping from the room around him. “That was the main portion of the test. But, there’s one last thing for us to test.”

Steve turned to Tony. “There’s only two parts. What are you planning on doing?” 

Tony ignored the captain, continuing to speak to Pandora while pressing buttons on his screen. “Use whatever weapons you need, and your magic. You’ll be needing it.”

And with that, Pandora was sent into a sandy desert. There was nothing around her, and all she could see was sand and a blue-gray sky. She even felt the wind, blowing small specks of sand on her. 

At first she didn’t see anyone, but as she looked closer, she spotted a herd of people charging towards her. Enough of a crowd that it wasn’t feasible for anyone to fend them off alone. “Seriously?” She called, although she wasn’t sure who she was talking to. The window enclosing the team was invisible to her.

Unbeknownst to her, Steve was shaking his head in the viewing room. “Seriously? Tony, you pull this shit on all the new recruits. I’d like to see you try to hold your own in there.”

Tony grinned with a shrug. “What? It’s not like they can really hurt her. I like to see who can beat the latest record of how many of them someone can take down before they receive a simulated fatal wound.”

Natasha shook her head. “This is why people don’t like you, Tony.” 

He put his hand to his chest in offense. “What do you mean? Everyone likes me, Natalia.” Natasha rolled her eyes and Tony chuckled. 

“Anyways, as I was saying before Natasha insinuated that people don’t like me, Witch Wanda over there,” he pointed to Wanda, “holds the high score of a hundred and twelve. Which is slightly scary.” 

Wanda smiled. “I’m flattered you’re scared of me, Stark.” 

Back in the simulation room, Pandora was trying to come up with a plan. Logically, she knew that the team couldn’t expect her to defeat this big of a mob alone. However, she was determined to not go out without a fight. 

As the hoard got closer, she saw that not all of them were of the same species. Of course they weren’t, because that would mean they have the same strengths and weaknesses. Pandora called on the ancient lines of magic she pulled on, holding them at the ready.

She hadn’t expended a lot of her magic on the first two tests, which was good, because she definitely needed it now. As the first line of the crowd neared her, she sent out a blast to knock them down. They were not indisposed of, but it was enough to gouge just how much magic she needed to spend to push them around. 

With a quiet reminder that none of this was real, she charged into the fight. In doing so, she held out her hand to the eyes of some of the crowd, altering their vision so they would now see some of their allies as their enemy. 

She could have just disguised herself as them, but this way they took themselves out faster. Pandora had magical weapons that she switched out time to time, slashing, stabbing, and blasting her enemies. 

But, even with confusion amongst the crowd, she was still outnumbered. She pushed through, picking up men and slamming them around to take out the others. She lost count of how many had fallen by her hand, the only thought in her mind to do better, to take out more.

Eventually though, she slipped up and ended up with a fake dagger in her skull, sending her back into the simulation. She was out of breath, panting, her face frustrated. 

Even if she had lasted 22 minutes, killed 154 enemies, and only ended up with one major injury, she still felt like she could have done better. She was unaware of the dropped jaws of everyone behind the reinforced glass of the observation room, unaware of the new record she had just set.

“I could have done better.” She whispered, but pushed the thought aside. She already had plans in the future to come back to this room and achieve a higher kill count. 

For a long few minutes, nobody said anything down to Pandora. It wasn’t until she looked up at them, expectantly, that someone said something.

“Uh, that was incredible. You should see the look on the guys’ faces right now.” Wanda said, laughing. 

Tony cleared his throat. “Yeah, yeah. Anyways, good work today. None of the opponents were real, but the sweat is. Go get a shower, I don’t want you sweating on the expensive furniture.”

Pandora laughed, and bid a goodbye to her new teammates before she exited the room. To her surprise, Loki was there to greet her. 

“That was amazing.” He said, eyes twinkling. “ You were amazing.”

Pandora turned a little red, rubbing her neck. “Thanks. You don’t have to exaggerate though. I want to know if I actually did well in the eyes of other people.”

Loki looked shocked. “Are you kidding? You beat the other witch’s record of kills in that last simulation. You did better than even I might have done, and that’s saying a lot, of course.”

She laughed. “Thanks, mischief, I appreciate it.” He began to walk her back to her room, complimenting her magic usage and her skills with daggers.

They made it to her room, and Loki said goodbye. She closed the door and let the weight that she wasn’t good enough fall from her shoulders. Pandora knew that she belonged there. Loki knew that she belonged there. The team knew that she belonged there. The voices telling her otherwise stopped at that moment, she told herself.

To wash them away, she got into the shower, and allowed herself to cry. To cry for the things she had been through, to cry for the child she once was, and to cry for the newfound sense of belonging that she now felt.

TAG LIST (If you want to be added or removed, comment or inbox. If you want to only be tagged for this series/or just oneshots, etc... make sure to let me know. Make sure your tag settings are on.)- @anukulee @mischief-dream @iceeericeee

[theyre-just-blocks]

Sam and Tony parallels.

This is strictly for my own enjoyment seeing as Tony Stark and Awesamdude are probably my favorite comfort characters (even though both of them cause me a lot of pain).

But anyways, I’ve seen a handful of people draw the parallels between the two characters (Even Tommy saw it, bless you Tommy) and I just want to put my own ideas out there on how these two are pretty similar.

Again, this is about c!Sam, not Sam the CC.

First off, both of them could be considered to be mechanics. They both are pretty handy when it comes to machines and both of them are often described as being rather intelligent when it comes to machines. I think this is the most obvious similarity between the two of them is their abilities with machines and big brains.

I think the next obvious thing is that both of them become father figures to someone who really needs it. Tony to Peter and Sam to Tommy. Both Tommy and Peter needed that mentor, father-type figure in their lives and got Tony and Sam in return. Both of them strived to be the best for their kid and both of them lost their kid at one point, only to get the back and then lose them again. Sam lot Tommy in the prison to Dream like Tony lost Peter on Titan to Thanos, and then when both came back, Tony died and Sam became dead to Tommy.

Then you’ve got Tony’s suits/AIs and Sam Nook. Both of these things were created to benefit someone (Tony’s suits/AI helped him and Sam Nook helped Tommy) and are both impressive works of machinery made by both of them respectfully.

Oh, and let’s not forget that the two have similar fears/traumas. While the situation in which they earned these fears and traumas are different, both of their anxieties are essentially pretty similar. Sam gets his trauma from the Egg, Tommy’s death, and Dream himself, while Tony’s came from the cave he was held hostage in, flying into the portal from the Battle of New York, and the vision of seeing all his friends dead in AoU. As a result of these events, both of them turn to busying themselves with projects that they believe will protect themselves and or others. Tony makes a bunch of suits to protect himself (IM 3) and Sam turns to prioritizing keeping Dream in the prison above all else.

As a result of their insecurities and trauma, they made things that they thought would protect the people they loved and cared for, but ultimately it didn’t work out the way that they wanted it to. Tony had Ultron, a program he hoped to use to protect from future alien attacks and Sam has Pandora’s Vault to keep the biggest villain on the server in captivity. Ultron corrupted and nearly destroyed life on planet earth as we know it and Sam got corrupted by the prison to the point where he’s lost sense of what’s morally right and wrong.

Basically, both of them have somehwhat unhealthy coping mechanism where they preoccupy themselves with work to ignore what's going on in their life, so much so that they push everyone who's trying to help away and end up making things worse for themselves since they end up forgetting to worry about themselves once in a while. Both of them need some self care,,

Their projects also ruined their love life (granted Tony was able to recover his afterward). Pepper got annoyed with how much time Tony was spending with the suits, making them and whatnot, to the point where Tony had to choose between her and the suits (IM 3). Ponk got killed, tortured, and his arm chopped off because of all the time that Sam was spending in the prison, thus ruining their relationship. (Not to mention, Tony calls Pepper ‘Pep’ and Sam calls Ponk ‘Ponkie’)

I think both of them can also be seen as Lawful Good. Doing whatever they can legally to make sure that things go well. We see it in Captain America: Civil War when Tony wants to side with the government and create the Sokovia Accords, guilty about all the damage he has caused to the world due to Ultron and his company prior to becoming Iron Man. Then we see it with Sam dedicating himself to the role as “The Warden” and keeping justice and law in order on the server to any means necessary.

Aside from actions and events, both of them also have somewhat of a similar personality as well, though one could argue that this isn’t the case. However, like Tony, Sam cares deeply about those he loves and feels the need to protect them at all costs. Tony’s greatest fear (revealed by Wanda’s mind tricks in AoU) was losing his friends and it could be argued that that’s the same with Sam. In his case, the Egg would be Wanda, putting thoughts into his head that he is unable to protect those he loves.

They’ve also got quite the ego. Though I can see why one would think that Sam doesn’t really have one, I can assure you that he does. It’s even on the wiki as his biggest weakness (or it was before he started to corrupt and spiral). Though maybe Tony is more sassy and cocky than Sam is, both of them have an ego and it’s somewhat of a hubris to them. If anything, their ego makes it harder for them to share burdens, making them think that they should be the only one to carry burdens and protect everyone else instead of looking after themselves every once in a while.

Oh, also they’re the characters that tend to get a lot of dislike/hate for certain actions. Granted, Sam’s most recent actions don’t have any reason to be defended (torture and cutting off your bf’s arm? I don’t think so.) but before that, at the start of the prison arc, there were several people who didn’t like his character because they believed that Dream shouldn’t have been treated the way they thought he was being treated. Because to them, Sam was torturing Dream, when in fact, that wasn’t the case until Quackity. Tony also got a lot of shit, being blamed for just about anything, with most Marvel villains becoming villains because Tony had wronged them in some minor way (Looking at you, Mysterio). If anything, I think Sam is what people who hate Tony think that Tony is. Some cold-hearted bastard who loves money and could care less about people. And that’s totally not the case.

Also, both of them are perfectionists with an eye for aesthetic and design. Sam spends a lot of time on his projects making things look nice and Tony likes to look nice as well (Come on, his three-piece suit in CA:CW? Man’s got style).

And I guess another obvious connection that I should’ve mentioned before was both of them being super rich. Granted, Tony is rich in the real world sense, being a billionaire and all while Sam is more ‘Minecraft rich’ with all the materials and tridents that he has, but they’re both rich and that’s what counts (Capitalism, y’know).

Stark Industries and Awesamdude Construction. Or at least, both of them are in charge of some kind of industry, Tony weapons manufacturing, Sam sever builds. So in a way, both of them are business men who know how to handle companies.

Last but not least, both of them have fat asses. (CANONICALLY SAM HAS A DUMPY DO NOT COME FOR ME)

Anyways, in short, my favorite kind of character is a traumatized smart father-figure and I can’t wait till the next similarity I have to add to these two is that they both have died.

Aha, that was a joke, but Sam really needs a break.

[agwitow]

the Captain and the Medic

Soft red light washed over the minimalistic furnishings in Captain Adenna’s quarters. It was just barely bright enough to highlight the edges of things, but left most of the small space cloaked in shadows. Though they had intended to do some reading during their weekly half-day off, the dim light was so soothing they were hesitant to turn any other lights on. Perhaps meditation, or even a nap, might be an enjoyable alternative.

They had just selected one of their robes from the closet when the ship’s AI gave a little chirp.

“Go ahead, Pandora,” they said, suppressing a sigh as they trailed their fingers across the velvety nap of the fabric from their home-world.

“Meera requests your presence at your earliest convenience, Captain.”

They blew out an annoyed breath and closed their eyes for a moment. The semi-human medic, Meera, was both a source of comfort and annoyance. Most of the crew believed they had taken the medic as a lover—primarily because none of them understood the dangers of touch-starvation for a pledialian—and neither they, nor Meera, had ever bothered to correct the assumption. But Meera was one of three people who knew Adenna was not the owner of the RMV Pandora. It was hard to fully let their guard down when they did not know how she was connected to the mysterious owner who only communicated through encrypted messages. Messages which were sent to either Meera or Adenna.

“Is she requesting in her capacity as a medic?”

“She did not specify.” The slight electronic burr of the ship’s voice was usually soothing, but in the near darkness of their quarters it seemed jarring.

“You could make an informed guess.”

Pandora hummed while it thought. The sound harmonized with the barely audible rumble of the engine in a surprisingly pleasant way. Though no one—ship, owner, or engineer—could say why the ship hummed at all, let alone in tune with the engine. After a moment, it replied, “No crew members have reported to the med bay for the last 36 hours, nor has anyone requested her assistance in that time. Meera received an encrypted transmission approximately 4-point-3 hours ago. It is unlikely her request is linked to her role as ship’s medic.”

Adenna scrubbed a hand over their face, then twitched their nose to resettle their whiskers. They were almost half-finished with their current job. Hopefully whatever new orders from the owner could wait for them to finish. The cargo in the hold waiting to be sold represented most of the credits available to pay for all the necessities. Being an independent merchant vessel had its upsides, but a steady credit balance was not one of them. Usually the owner’s orders aligned with some form of trade job they could take on, but there had been times when they demanded they abandon their current job in order to run an errand. Rarely did they explain why.

“Thank you, Pandora. Please inform her I will be down to speak with her in a short while.”

“Very good, Captain.”

They silently debated whether they should change out of their uniform anyway or not. The robes were certainly more comfortable than the synthetic-made jacket, shirt, and pants. Despite the fact that true humans made up a small fraction of intergalactic species, the prevalence of semi-humans had spread their influence throughout the universe. Some of it, like their flavourful food, was good. But some of it, like their insistence on multi-piece outfits, was a nuisance. If the crew hadn’t been made up of semi-humans at a rate of 2:1, they would have opted for a non-human style uniform. It wouldn’t have even needed to be pledialian.

Deciding on comfort, they quickly changed into the robe before leaving their quarters and heading down a level.

Pandora wasn’t an overly small ship, but sometimes it still felt cramped. With the capacity to hold twenty crew, including the captain, and three passengers, there were certainly ships which were significantly smaller. And even though they generally operated with seventeen crew and no passengers, it was still hard to find time and space for solitude. They nodded at a few other off-duty crew and an on-duty crew member as they made the short trip from their quarters to the med bay.

A gentle chime announced their presence as they stepped into the med bay’s receiving room. Four doors led off it, plus the one leading out to the fore lift, and an assortment of comfortable seating options lined the walls in between. Depending on species, anywhere between four and eight people could comfortably wait there while a friend or loved one received treatment. Or while they waited to be treated themselves.

Meera entered from her office and Adenna’a ears flattened back. She was a solid 15cm shorter than them, with golden-brown skin, four dark-coloured eyes, and turquoise hair. Where her hair was normally sleek and waist length, it was so wild and curled it only hit mid back. Her eyes were red-rimmed, and dark streaks of makeup tracked where her tears had run. Splotches dusted across her cheeks and nose, giving her skin an overall grey pallor. Never in their acquaintance had Adenna ever seen her look so discomfited. Not even when having to patch up over half the crew after they’d tangled with pirates.

“Meera? What is wrong [dear friend]?”

She sniffed and rubbed the back of a hand across her cheek, smearing the makeup even further. “Apologies for interrupting your time off, Captain.”

They trilled softly, soothingly. “Do you require physical comfort?”

She started to shake her head then stopped, bit her lip, and nodded. It took only a single, large step for Adenna to close the space between them and pull her into a hug. She clutched at their robe and buried her face in their shoulder while soft sobs shook her body.

It took a few minutes for the fresh wave of tears to subside. They simply held her and let the rumbling of a silent trill in their chest soothe her. When she pulled back, they asked, “What is wrong?”

“My crib-sister has gone missing and been killed.”

“She might be still alive. Perhaps we can help you find her?”

Meera shook her head. “The…my people have a…device which can be used to track us, if we become lost to our family. It also reveals whether we are alive, or…or not.”

“I am sorry, Meera.”

She nodded and scrubbed her cheeks with her palms. “My family wants…they need to know what happened. It is not uncommon for us to go off on an adventure or two when we come of age, but…few of us go very far. Even fewer actually go off-planet.”

Adenna nodded. Despite there being over a hundred species of semi-humans, not to mention the ever fluctuating numbers of hybrids, many liked to keep to themselves. There would always be those with a wandering soul and those forever searching for adventure, but there was a reason home-worlds still existed.

“Kelio is…was…fond of the idea of touring the other planets in our system. No one thought much of it when she hadn’t returned after a few galactic months, but then…then she died.”

“I am sorry,” they repeated. “Once we have finished this trade run, do you wish us to head to your home-world to begin the search?”

She shook her head. “No. They know we generally operate out of the Aegastri System and are sending one of my cousins to meet us at Senasi Station. The…device…indicates she was far from our home-world when she died.”

“We will help as best we can, but how accurate is this device?”

“On its own, not very. But paired with a Tu…with an AI built by my people, then it increases with accuracy the closer we are.”

Adenna frowned. “You have always been hesitant to give yourself a species name—how are we to find such an AI?”

Meera sniffed and gave a half smile. “We already have one. Pandora.”

They blinked. “Is this ship owned by someone in your family?”

She dropped her eyes and rocked back on her heels. “Technically.”

“Is that why you are the medic? To keep an eye on the ship?”

She looked up, all eyes wide. “No! Of course not! I am a medic because I want to help others. And I am a medic on this ship because I am fond of its crew.”

Adenna couldn’t help but smile, even though a sliver of doubt still pierced their heart. “I am glad to hear it. We still have a few galactic weeks until we are able to head to Senasi Station. How long will it take your cousin to get there, and how long will they be able to wait?”

“Mm, given how long it takes for a transmission to be sent…she should be leaving today or tomorrow. It’ll take, maybe, three weeks to reach the Aegastri System, and a half week to make it to Senasi Station. She will certainly wait as long as it takes for us to return, but I can send a message home and let them know she’ll be there for almost a month.”

“I can speak with Dradt and see if we can make the return trip any faster.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course. If you require comfort after your shit, I will leave my door unlocked.”

Meera smiled. “Thank you, again.”

If you enjoyed this, you might be interested in my published work, which can be found at: Prairie Owl Publishing ♦ Amazon ♦ Kobo ♦ Chapters/Indigo ♦ Barnes & Noble ♦ Thriftbooks

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[bodakim]

Could you recommend anime to watch?

I can :D Though maybe I will repeat myself about some very well known anime because... I don’t watch that many anime. I usually watch 1/2 anime per seasons (if I feel like something could interest me), and now it’s mostly anime with yuri subtext (I won’t use yuri bait because I don’t like the negative connotation of that word) or yuri. I read way more manga and doujinshs, usually :D - So well to get over it, non gay anime I really enjoyed back then (and that are, super well known) : GTO, Chobits, Jigoku Shoujo (hell girl), The Ancient Magus Bride, Pandora heart (though I recommend the manga a bit more), A Silent Voice, Tamako Market (though Midori is clearly gay).Jigoku Shoujo was one of my fav anime for a long time... It’s a bit of horror (but I was able to watch it even though I don’t really like horror). Season 1 and 2 were awesome, season 3 was... Surprisingly a bit gay, not that good quality but still really enjoyable.They recently did a 4th season and I absolutely don’t recommend it because it was meh. Kyoani anime in general are just amazing anyway, and A Silent Voice by Yamada is a must see.

- Yuri sub anime: Hibike Euphonium (obviously), Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight, Yuru Camp, BanG Dream!, Kakegurui, Little Witch Academia, Maid Dragon, Madoka MagicaI will always recommend Hibike since it’s my favorite anime :D (I think it’s pretty much visible through my Tumblr :p). S1 is amazing, S2 is awesome until ep 9, then some additions are... A bit stupid.I obviously recommend Liz and the blue bird, because the movie is a masterpiece (even though Nozomi and Mizore aren’t my top fav ship so it didn’t impact me the same way as it did for some people. I do love them but yeah.)I haven’t watched Chikai no final yet, but I know that Ishihara did some stupid additions that aren’t in the novel, though in the end they are apparently pretty much skippable and wouldn’t change the movie.

Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight is my second fav anime (and I really hope for a S2 like they did for BanG Dream, with the chara from the game :3 I want my child animated But beside that little detail, everything in the anime is just great.

Yuru camp became also one of my fav anime because it’s just so comfy and relaxing... Even I who don’t really like camping, it made me wanna try it out.

BanG Dream the anime is a bit special. I really love the game, I watched the first season before I actually started playing. A lot of people say that S1 wasn’t good, I don’t agree with that. The first half is a bit slow, but then it’s really good and enjoyable. S2 was also awesome, but I think you need to play the game first if you wanna understand who is who, among the other bands (except Roselia that is already introduced in first season.)

Kakegurui is super twisted and strange but it’s really good (if you can go through the weird mood).

Maid Dragon is hilarious (and Kyoani Anime, so you can be sure of the quality) and it’s one of the anime I had the most of fun watching.

Madoka is a classic.

Little witch academia was also a great anime, though I must admit that I am not THAT into Diakko compared to a lot of people (I do love Diana, but I have like no opinion about Akko).

- Yuri anime: Yagate Kimi Ni Naru, Kase San (OVA), Citrus

Yagate Kimi ni Naru is for me the best yuri (labelled) anime made so far in my opinion (if we don’t count Hibike that I consider as yuri). They totally nailed the manga and the quality was really great (the musics were amazing) despite a little drop of animation quality due to budget at the end.

Kase-San is just an OVA so it’s super short, but it’s super cute

Citrus is a must see because it also became a classic, though I do believe that you understand Mei a bit better during the 2 first arcs if you read the manga. I have a bit less interest in Citrus than what I used to (I collectioned like, a lot, and it was my fav serie until volume 10 arrived) but I can tell that the anime was really enjoyable... That is, if you do enjoy the manga in the first place (since the manga is not really for everybody, tastes and all).

Beside those, I am... Not super fan of the yuri anime that have been made before Citrus... I did enjoy Kannazuki No Miko and Strawberry panic a fair bit, so I could also recommend them if you wanna watch them, but I consider them as “yeah that’s fine” more than “really amazing”. For Kannazuki No Miko I think it’s mostly because of the mecha background that wasn’t really my thing.

So yeah, that’s pretty much that ... At least that’s the series that come into my mind when I think about recommendations

[sirius-archive]

Chaos Theory Part 10

Pairing: Cedric Diggory x Reader, Harry Potter x Reader, Draco Malfoy x Reader, George Weasley x Reader

Warnings: Drug mention, swearing 

Word Count: 7732 (fuck me)

A/N: Right, guys. 7,732 words is the longest fic I’ve ever written. I can’t even rn...I’m so tired and I’ve been working like so hard on this chapter and Young gods I’ve stocked up on tequila and vodka lol so after the next two chapters are released I can have a fucking Fiesta !! Just an FYI things are gonna start getting darker now. Also, I know Luke is supposed to look different for everyone but I think I’ve deserved using a gif of Noah Centineo bc he’s so cute and i love him sm, and given that I’ve written about Luke’s birthday, I think he should claim the header for now. Anyway, here we go. Happy B’day Lukey :)

This chapter is dedicated to my sister, Mariana ‘Maia/Maui’ Tori - I loved you then, I love you now, and I’ll love you always. RIP belle fiore 🥀 1996 - 2004

Chapter 10:

***

Friday, December 18th

***

The strange parcel arrives late at night with no return address.

You recognise the signature style all too quickly and your stomach curls in on itself, heart shuddering and throat constricting like a straw.

After weeks of silence, the mysterious sender is back again and it looks like they’ve upgraded from creepy photo to mysterious box.

It’s sitting on your bed like a plain, Pandora’s box, inviting you to open it and unleash a tempest of chaos. You approach it slowly, hesitantly, icy blood gushing through your crystallised veins like Antarctic waters travelling down the deltas of a cold-blooded monster. A part of you needs to see this; it could be clues, a lead, something that could aid you in this impossible investigation. But the other part of you is wary, perhaps even a little afraid, because you’re not sure if you’re prepared to face whatever is in this box.

Either way, you find yourself standing in front of it, peering down at the familiar scrawl written across the top, and you slice the string holding it together, gripping the lid and squeezing your eyes shut so you can muster up every single ounce of your Gryffindor courage, tearing the lid off and-

You gasp.

***

Thursday, December 10th

***

Unsurprisingly, news about the Yule Ball spread quicker than a wildfire, tangling the school in a sticky web of rumours and gossip.

It’s all Parvati, Padma and Lavender can talk about after your weekly Howler meeting, much to the dismay of Dean Thomas, who sits on the fringe of their conversation, looking equal parts exasperated and nervous while the girls whisper and giggle beside him.

You can’t exactly blame them. The Yule Ball at Hogwarts is combining two of the most whimsical events and squeezing them into one night. Celebrating Christmas while dressing up and dancing with your date? Of course, all the girls would be excited; it’s an excuse to dress up and spend the night with people you care about.

The boys, however, do not share the girl’s enthusiasm for the Ball. Flustered and nervous, a lot of the boys at Hogwarts have had difficulty approaching the subject of dates, since according to tradition, it’s their responsibility to find one.

Harry had been shocked when McGonagall told him that he would have to find a dancing partner after Transfiguration earlier today. As a Champion, he had no choice in the matter, which meant that if he didn’t find a partner soon, he’d risk embarrassing himself in front of the entire school.

Ron, too, was starting to grow anxious about who he would ask to the ball, and Hermione had become impatient with him. Honestly, you couldn’t blame her; she was the most obvious choice to ask, yet Ron continued to allow his obliviousness blind him from what’s right in front of him. Hermione had been tempted to slap both Ron and Harry around the head and point out that they didn’t have to look very far, but you had stopped her before she could. While it would be enjoyable to go with Harry, you were hoping to be asked by someone else...

A touch of worry pricks your chest. What if you don’t get asked by anyone? That was a possibility you hadn’t really considered, given that you had been clinging hopefully to the prospect of being asked by Cedric.

Though to be fair, both you and Cedric have been so caught up in school work and...extracurricular activities, you hadn’t even had an opportunity to talk to one another, let alone arrange a date. Still, you supposed that there was still just over a week until the Ball...plenty of time to arrange a date...

“-hoping for a new camera for Christmas, mine is looking a little shabby, though Noah says that’s okay as long as it functions properly,” Colin Creevey says, excitedly, rambling at a million miles per hour, “He doesn’t really talk that much, does he? But he takes really good photos. I wonder if he could take a photo of me and Dennis with Harry? That would be awesome! Though I do feel a bit sorry for him, I heard that his sister-”

Your mind drifts again, eyes travelling past Colin and spotting Dean in the distance. He waves you over desperately, a pleasing expression written across his face.

“-isn’t that sad? She was always really nice to me so when Professor Dumbledore announced that she had died last year, I was really quite shocked. Nice of Professor Dumbledore to pay his respects to her, eh? He’s such a great Headmaster, he’s made Dennis and I feel at ease-”

“-That reminds me!” You interrupt, hurriedly, “I have to quickly speak to Dean about...something that Professor Dumbledore wanted so I’ll just-”

“Oh, yeah?” Colin asks, cheeks dimpled and eyes wide, “That’s so cool! Dean is such a great artist, he’s going to go far. Hey, I wonder if Harry has seen any of his work. Maybe I should ask Dean to sketch a picture of me and Harry together? Do you think Harry would like that for Christmas? You’d know best, you and Harry are basically-”

“-Yeah, that’s great,” you interrupt, hastily, already walking away from Colin, “See you Colin!”

Colin waves cheerily at you and plods away, approaching Juniper and Daisy and launching into a rambling lecture. You bite your lip, guilt plucking your chest. He really is a sweet boy, little Colin Creevey, who has idolised Harry since Colin arrived at Hogwarts. Leaving him feels mean, but you have a feeling that he could chat to you about everything and nothing for hours on end and still not tire out.

Ignoring your guilt and Colin’s excited voice that carries across the room, you approach Dean, who looks grateful at your arrival.

“Excited for the ball?” You tease, arching a coy eyebrow and Dean sighs.

“I can’t concentrate with the girls gossiping beside me,” Dean groans, rubbing soothing circles into his temples.

You shrug, sliding onto his desk and toying subconsciously with a loose fabric on your skirt, “You got to admit though, it is pretty exciting. Rumour has it that Celestine Warbeck is going to perform.”

Dean rolls his eyes, “Pretty sure that’s still just a rumour.”

You give an exaggerated sigh, as though severely disappointed by this news, “Yeah. But it’d be nice though, right?”

Dean grins, “Oh boy, if that were true, I would be way more excited for this ball thingy.”

“I think everyone would be.”

“I don’t think it’s possible for the girls to be more excited than they already are.”

“Oh trust me, you’d be surprised.”

Dean snorts, studying you for a moment, his dark eyes glittering amicably, “I don’t suppose anyone’s asked you yet, have they?”

This time, it’s your turn to snort, “Oh, please Dean. I’ve been getting offers left, right and centre. I practically had to sneak my way here to avoid being swarmed by them all...” you pause for comedic effect, “...not.”

Dean chuckles, rolling his quill between his fingers, “Well, if you don’t get asked soon - which, I mean, you totally will get asked I’m not saying you’re not - I mean-you're pretty so I’m sure you’ll get offers - not that I think you’re pretty because - I mean - we’re just good friends - but I don’t think you’re ugly - you’re definitely not ugly I can tell you that right now - I mean -”

You raise your brows expectantly at him, smirking as you watch Dean sputter and stumble over his words. After another few seconds of spluttering, you finally decide to intervene, amused by his awkwardness.

“Dean Thomas, are you trying to ask me to the Ball?”

Dean averts his gaze, staring at his quill. The conversation beside you has gone quiet, the three girls pausing mid-sentence to eavesdrop on your conversation. Dean exhales a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Yes,” he mumbles, “I’m asking you to the ball. But as friends!” He adds, briskly, shooting a look at the girls giggling beside him, “And as a...um...Plan B...”

You smile warmly at him, his offer and awkwardness endearing. Placing a hand on his shoulder, you give him a subtle wink and beam at him.

“I would be honoured to have you as my Plan B.”

A burst of girlish giggles bubble into the air around you, cutting off Dean’s relieved chortles. Parvati and Lavender are both red-faced, hands clamped across their lips in a failed attempt to muffle their giggles. Padma, however, is grinning teasingly, glancing between you and Dean.

“Aw,” she gushes, reaching out to ruffle both yours and Deans hair, “You guys would be so cute together.”

“As friends,” you add, hastily, “Dean is my good ol’ pal and the best back up plan I’ve ever had.”

Dean clutches his chest through his shirt, “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

You frown at him, though you can’t stop the grin stretching across your lips, “I think you need to find yourself some new friends, then.”

Dean shrugs, “I suppose I do.”

As Padma and Dean begin to chat amongst themselves, you allow your gaze to drift away from their conversation, spotting Noah in the corner of the room. He’s bent over a desk, staring intensely at some photos, hands pressed flat against the desk in front of him. His aviator's jacket is too big for him; it swamps around his tall and lithe form almost drowning him in leather and wool.

You make your way towards him and lean against the desk, peering down at the photos in front of him.

They’re scenic landscapes snapped from various spots around Hogwarts, though they look incredibly different, enhanced even, as though you’re looking at places you take for granted through a different lens. There’s a photo of the Whomping Willow, the Courtyard, Hagrid’s hut and an excitable Fang. Noahs even made Blast-Ended Skrewts look more interesting than ugly killing machines.

“You’re a really good photographer, you know,” you murmur, smiling down at Noah’s photos.

“These are nothing,” Noah mutters, apathetically, “The camera that Maia gave me could make these photos look like they were taken by six-year-olds mucking around with a cheap Kodak.”

You bite your lip, ignoring the obvious Muggle reference (what in Merlin’s name is a Kodak anyway?) and consider Noah carefully, “I’m sorry about your camera.”

Noah shrugs, “It’s not the camera that I’m worried about...”

You think about resting a comforting hand on his, but decide against it.

“I’m sorry about Maia, too.”

Noah swallows thickly and turns away. He’s silent for a long time, and you’re afraid you may have overstepped your boundaries when Noah rasps a reply.

“What is it that they say? Time will heal the scars,” he whispers, as though trying to convince himself that it’s true.

You chew the inside of your cheek, hesitating for a moment, before carefully stringing your next words together.

“What was Maia like?” You ask, warily, “I only met her twice and she seemed really nice...”

A ghost of a smile plays across Noah’s lips, “She was...funny, she’d make me laugh even when I didn’t want to. And she could be feisty, Christ, she was feisty, and so bloody bossy. I guess that’s why she was the Hufflepuff and I was the Slytherin because she was happy and free-spirited and she...” Noah bites his lip, as though stifling a laugh, “...she used to cry whenever she listened to Cat Stevens. And she had this thing about collars - they always had to be folded back otherwise they’d annoy her. And photos, she loved photos but she couldn’t take one to save her life. They’d always come out blurry or dark or off centre and she’d always laugh...”

Noah pauses in thought, as though sinking into sepia-stained memories. He allows himself a tiny smile, “Maia always said that I’d be the photographer in the family. That was what she wanted for me. She was going to be a teacher and I was going to be a famous photographer.”

Noah blinks and averts his gaze, turning away from you.

“You were the first person who said that to me, you know,” he whispers, voice hoarse, “That night when Dumbledore...” he trails off, blinking hard. He turns back to you, black eyes shimmering with something you don’t quite recognise, and he’s close enough for you notice for the first time that he has a scar knitted into his left eyebrow, “Everyone else thinks I’m a weirdo or that I ki-“

Noah suddenly cuts himself off, as though in realisation. His expression flickers, anger suddenly shadowing his face, and he turns to glare angrily at you.

“Don’t- Don’t do that!” he snaps, pointing a shaky finger at you, and you frown at him, confused.

“What do you mean?” You ask.

“Make me tell you things about...” he blinks, black eyes glinting dangerously, “...about Maia and me and-and make it seem like you care when you don’t! You’re-you’re just like everyone else, like Delores and-and Malfoy and her stupid boyfriend and everyone who didn’t give a shit about Maia when she was alive!”

You try to reach out and pat him but before you can even touch him, Noah flinches, as though he’s expecting you to hit him. Red stains his cheeks in shame as he backs away from you, a distant touch of fear creeping into his eyes. He retreats hurriedly, nearly stumbling out of the door, and you try to follow him when someone catches your wrist.

You glance behind you, finding Troy’s wrist gently pulling you back. He looks both worried and sympathetic as he releases your wrist, fiddling with the paintbrush behind his ear.

“He needs space,” Troy explains, “Space and time. Noah strikes me as the kind of person who likes to keep things bottled up.”

You nod in understanding, chewing your bottom lip thoughtfully, “Do you know who Delores is? Noah mentioned her just now...”

Troy hesitates, as though unsure whether it's his place to say. He concedes after a moment of silent deliberation, “Delores is Noah’s mother. Maia told me about her. They have a...troubled relationship-”

“His mother is a junkie who cares more about her current boyfriend and getting high than she does about her own kids,” Daisy drawls, bluntly, suddenly appearing at your side, “Maia used to ask me to keep an eye on him, make sure the other kids don’t bully him because he gets enough of that from home.”

“Oh...” you murmur, slowly.

“Yeah,” Troy says, staring at his feet.

An uncomfortable silence passes between the three of you as you stand in a circle, processing what had just happened. Daisy leaves as abruptly as she came, stalking across the room to Juniper’s side. Troy has his hands in his pockets, rubbing his shoes together before he smiles and nods at something behind you.

“I think you have a little visitor,” Troy beams. You spin around and grin, crouching down to welcome Nightshade into your arms.

“What are you doing here, B?” You coo, kissing Nightshade on her head. She rubs herself against your leg, tail curling in the air and she purrs and meows at you.

You scratch her ear, fingers grazing against her collar before you spot something folded inside her bell. Frowning, you carefully pull away a small piece of paper and you unfold it, nervously, hoping with all your might it isn’t related to the photo pinned to your investigation board and you stare down at it, taking in the familiar writing and you-

You smile, bite your lip, watching as dozens of tiny, red hearts shudder to life and flutter off the page like butterflies in the spring. You watch as they spell out words in mid air, tracing around invisible letters until they form a coherent sentence that reads, in unmistakable cursive writing;

Will you go to the Ball with me?

You laugh, recognising the style of it all, knowing the only person who is capable at something so sweet and romantic is-

“Will you go to the Ball with me?”

Cedric Diggory.

The heart butterflies scatter, fluttering away as though being carried away in a summer breeze. Cedric standing at the end of the hallway, grinning broadly at you. He strides toward you in smooth movements, one arm bent behind his back, beaming brightly, his blue eyes never straying from yours. A tiny laugh of disbelief slips from your lips as you smile, gazing lovingly at him until he stops right in front of you.

Cedric stretches out the arm bent behind his back, brandishing a cupcake with a giant, red love heart planted on top, holding it to his face as he awaits your answer.

“Oh my god,” you breathe, swept away by the dramatics, “Are-are you bribing me with food?”

Cedric chuckles lightly, “I knew that this would be the driving force that would compel you to come with me.”

“You must really want me as your date,” you murmur, a simpering smile curling graciously across your lips.

“More than anything,” Cedric whispers, gazing at you longingly. His blue eyes sparkle like sunlight dancing off the ocean. He’s absolutely mesmerising...

“Okay,” you giggle, suddenly giddy, “I’ll come with you to the Ball.”

Cedric sweeps you into his arms and twirls you around in a hug. You shriek a laugh as he lifts you off your feet, hands buried in his hair as he spins you before placing you gently on your feet. He grins goofily, eyes narrowing on your lips, hungry for a kiss you are all too willing to give him, and you reach up, wrapping your arms around his neck, guiding his lips onto yours until-

“Ahem.”

Troy clears his throat.

Cedric reluctantly pulls away from you as you crane your neck, suddenly remembering that Troy is there.

“I’ll...give you guys some privacy,” Troy mumbles, cheeks pink. He steps back into the Newsroom and closes the door and you turn back to Cedric.

“So...” you start, slowly, “Are we going to...?” You nod at the cupcake still in Cedric's hand. Cedric laughs.

“Oh,” He says, “Right.”

Nightshade meows, gazing up at Cedric with large, green eyes, staring at the cupcake longingly.

“I guess you deserve a treat or two,” Cedric says, crouching down to feed a piece of cupcake. She eats from his hand, carefully licking the tiny crumbs from his palm as Cedric strokes her head.

You beam at Cedric as you watch him affectionately scratch Nightshade, heart swelling like a balloon, suddenly understanding the excitement surrounding the Yule Ball and making a mental note to tell Dean that you won’t need a Plan B anymore...

***

Thursday December 17th 

***

You wake up early on the morning of Luke’s birthday, grinning from ear-to-ear.

As per the usual birthday tradition, you had picked out the most ugliest Christmas sweater you could find - complete with itchy wool and an unflattering turtleneck collar - and had wrapped it in embarrassingly bright wrapping paper. You can just imagine Luke’s face when he unwraps it; contorting in both disgust and amusement but holding it to his chest.

The rules were that he had to wear the sweater all day for the entire day, no excuses. Last year, McGonagall had been so unimpressed, she had nearly begged Luke to burn the sweater to a crisp and had threatened to send him to detention for the day if he didn’t.

But that wasn’t the only birthday tradition the Arden siblings had amongst themselves.

They also had to bake the worst tasting birthday cake with whatever they could find and dare each other to eat it. Once, you had baked a cake during the holidays using eggs, tomato sauce, flour, mushrooms, oats, sugar, spearmint and hot sauce and saved it for Luke’s birthday. When you had dared Luke to eat a slice, Luke, never one to turn down a challenge, had devoured the entire thing. He had then spent the next hour bent over a toilet bowl but, really, that was his own doing. You had only dared him to eat one slice, not the whole damn thing.

This year was no different; you have to keep to the Arden tradition and bake a disgusting cake. The problem is, you don’t know where the kitchens are. Last year, you had made it ahead of time and had preserved it using a cooking charm (perhaps that was why Luke reacted so...violently to it) but this year, you had been more preoccupied and less organised.

You make your way down to the Common Room, wondering how you’re going to sneak into the boy's dormitory and steal the Marauders Map when you suddenly run into a tall and firm figure.

“Woah,” you gasp under your breath, staggering backwards. A strong arm catches you by your arm before you can fall flat on your ass.

“Sorry,” George Weasley snickers, “I didn’t see you there; you’re kind of tiny, (Y/N). You’re definitely a tripping hazard.”

You scowl at him and rearrange your clothes, ironing your skirt with the palms of your hands.

“Anyone tell you you’re a class A asshole?”

“On many occasions, actually,” George grins, then shrugs, “Sticks and stones.”

“Whatever works for you,” you snip, a smirk tugging on the corners of your lips, “Anyway, what are you doing here so early?”

“We could ask you the same thing,” says Fred, sauntering toward you.

“I’m baking a cake for Luke,” you explain, grinning, “It’s his birthday and we usually bake each other really disgusting cakes and get each other terrible gifts. It’s kind of an Arden thing.”

Fred and George exchange a mischievous glance.

“Sounds like you need to head to the kitchens,” Fred smirks down at you,

“You guys know where it is?” You ask, hopefully, and Fred nods.

“Ready for a private tour?” George asks, grinning devilishly, his eyes shimmering and a thrill courses through you.

You beam at him.

***

The kitchens look like they’ve just crawled out of Hermione’s worst nightmares.

House-elves are everywhere; bustling around the large kitchens, looking harried but content as they buzz around the room. They work around you, occasionally rushing up to you to offer you various sweets and treats, practically imploring you with round orbs to enjoy their homemade delicacies.

You’ve learned that it’s better just to accept the cakes and cookies instead of politely declining, and you enjoy the ones you’ve gathered with Fred and George as you sit in front of a large oven, watching Luke’s cake swell inside of the cake tin.

“I’m surprised it’s actually baking,” George observes, nodding at the oven, “Are we sure that’s even a cake in there?”

“If it has flour, egg, milk and sugar, then it’s a cake,” you state, biting into a cookie and moaning in delight, “These cookies are to die for.”

“Right?” Fred marvels in agreement, “I mean, they’re not as good as Mums but they’re still pretty darn good.”

Your eyes flutter closed and a smile stretches across your lips as you chew languidly on another cookie, savouring the sweet flavour as it oozes onto your tongue. You hum in delight again as you begin licking chocolate off the tips of your fingers.

You open your eyes and catch George watching you with a strange expression on his face. He boldly maintains eye contact, something unfamiliar flashing in his pupils.

Fred glances between the two of you, intrigued, “I’m going to go take some of these to Lee,” he announces, standing and stretching.

You break away from George and watch him as he leaves.

“That was odd,” You note, frowning as the portrait door closes shut.

“Fred is a bit of an oddity anyway,” George shrugs, sliding closer to you, “How’s that cake going?”

You peer through the glass, studying the cake, “Honestly? I don’t know, though I want it to burn so I guess another twenty minutes or so.”

You turn back to George, whose scoffing down an incredible amount of cookies.

“So, you excited for the Ball?” He asks through a mouthful of cookies.

You grin uncontrollably, “Yeah, I am.”

“Found anyone to go with?”

“Yeah,” You slide your bottom lip between your teeth, “I’m going with Cedric.”

George stops cramming cookies into his mouth and swallows, forcing a strained smile onto his lips.

“Oh. That’s...good.”

You shrug meekly, trying not to appear as giddy as you feel, “Yeah. Are you going with anyone?”

“Uh-Harper Shacklebolt.”

You nearly choke on your laughter, “What?! You managed to convince Harper Shacklebolt to leave the Newsroom?”

George flashes a devilish grin, “Well, it wasn’t that hard. I just had to turn up the old Weasley twin charm and she was practically falling for me.”

You roll your eyes, chortling at George’s confidence, “Huh, interesting. Well, you might have some competition. Did you know Harper has a pen pal?”

“Is that so?” George arches an eyebrow, intrigued, “And who would that be?”

“Someone with the initials ‘O.W.’, which could only be-”

“Oliver Wood,” George’s lips break into a smirk, chortles slipping from his lips, “I can’t see that lasting too long. They’re both stubborn and passionate about other things. Wasn’t Harper and Luke a thing for a while?”

You bark a laugh, “Ha. Luke and Harper? Harper is so out of Luke’s league, he’d probably have to pinch his dick to make sure he isn’t dreaming.”

George laughs at that, and the sound travels through you, glowing in your chest and probing your own laughter to spill from your lips.

“Must have just been some silly rumours,” George shrugs, “By the way, I think his cake is burning.”

You turn back to the oven as smoke begins to bleed through the cracks in the oven, filling the air with a horrid, acrid smell.

“Yup, that would be about right,” You chortle, grinning, “He’s going to love it.”

***

Luke is on his way to the library when you spot him.

He’s pacing down the hallway, moving quickly, and you nearly have to break into a sprint just to catch up with him. It’s a little uncharacteristic, given that he usually saunters lazily but in a businesslike manner. Casual, but cool and composed. 

Today, he’s in a rush, taking long, deliberate strides and not giving you a chance to catch your breath as you struggle to catch up to him.

He rounds the corner, and you’re about to call out to him when someone else beats you to it, cutting you off with a thick, smokey accent.

“I vas beginning to zink you vere going to flake on me, Lukas!”

Kazimir Volkov strolls up to him, smirk like a sharp dash across his lips. He looks impressive and menacing, but Luke isn’t afraid.

Kaz stops right in front of Luke, eyes flashing with something both dangerous and alluring, as though he’s trying to assert his dominance but is also trying to seduce Luke into relaxation.

Luke stops, glancing around furtively. When he’s certain that no one is looking, Luke’s composure relaxes, steel melting off his shoulders like mercury. He greets Kaz like an old friend, nodding at him and flashing a charming smile. Curious, you press yourself against the wall, peeking out from behind it.

Luke leans forward, speaking in an undertone.

“I thought we agreed to talk in Russian?”

Kaz’s smirk broadens, “Why, you don’t vant anyone knowing zat Hogvart’s Golden Boy is up to no good?”

“Well, yeah,” Luke snips, a little impatiently, “I mean, it’s more about my sister than anything. If she knew…”

“She’d understand,” Kaz murmurs, then shrugs, “But if zat’s what you vant...”

Luke and Kaz begin covering in Russian, speaking rapidly. You furrow your brows, straining to listen to their conversation, but you never learnt Russian and they’re speaking too fast for you to pick up on any familiar sounding words.

Two words pop out from their conversation; you only recognise them because they are repeated by both Kaz and Luke; krov' Niks

Krov Niks…? What the heck is that supposed to mean?

Sighing, you’re just about to leave when Kaz suddenly retrieves something from the inside of his Durmstrang robes. You squint, leaning forward, spotting a small vial with black, glittering liquid inside. It resembles melted obsidian; sunlight bounces off small flecks of silver and gold.

Luke takes the vial and pockets it, nodding at Kaz in gratitude.

You flatten your back against the wall, thinking fast. What kind of potion could Luke possibly want that he couldn’t brew himself? What is he up to? And why does he have to keep it a secret when you’ve never let any secrets stand between the two of you–?

“Lulu!”

You jump, startled by Luke’s surprised voice, a fleeting look of panic flitting across his face. Your mouth flaps open, searching desperately for a good excuse, momentarily forgetting about the gifts in your hand until Luke’s gaze drops to them.

“Oh!” You bleat, nervously, “Oh I was…looking for you because I – uh – it’s your birthday and I wanted to give you your birthday presents…”

“Oh,” Luke says, biting his lip nervously, “Thanks.”

You hand him his sweater and cake and iron your clammy hands on your skirt, “Happy Birthday.”

Luke balances his presents on one hand and ruffles your hair with the other, “Thanks, (Y/N). I can’t wait to try what delicious, home-baked cake you conjured up for me this year.”

“Fred and George helped me whip it up,” you smirk, teasingly.

“Ah,” Luke nods, mirroring your smirk, “Well, then, it’ll be a masterpiece.”

Luke lassos you into a one-armed hug, pulling you to his chest, and for a moment, you forget about that strange vial in Luke’s pocket.

***

Friday, December 18th  

***

The last day of term ends with a gruelling test on Antidotes in Potions.

Fortunately, you had studied hard for this test; it was hard to do anything other than study when your best friend is Hermione Granger. But your hard work paid off in the end, earning you full marks from a somewhat sour Snape.

“I see you’ve proven to be worth more than just a pretty face,” Snape has grumbled, peering down into your cauldron after class, “All that time spent with Granger must have rubbed off on you.”

You had screwed your jaw shut in an effort to stop yourself from snapping back at Snape, knowing that your marks and House Points were worth more than any retort you could have possibly sassed back.

“Actually, Professor,” you grit, through a clenched jaw, “I was wondering if you could tell me about a Potion that…looks black with silver and gold speckles in it?”

Professor Snape frowns, evidently in thought. After a moment of silence, Snape speaks in his usual, oily tone, “Nyx’s blood. It’s a difficult potion to brew, used as both a narcotic and a healing potion. It also happens to be illegal in the United Kingdom.” Snape arches a thin, black eyebrow in suspicion, “Why would you want to know about Nyx’s blood?”

“Um…” you begin, cursing yourself for not stringing a proper excuse together, “Um, I–”

“Severus!” Hisses a sharp, accented voice from behind you. Snape’s black eyes travel past you and you follow his line of sight, finding Karkaroff at the end of it. Karkaroff glances between you and Snape.

“You may leave, Arden,” Snape drawls, sourly, dismissing you with a scowl. You nod, slinging your book bag over your shoulder and rushing out of the dungeons, exhaling a sigh of relief.

As they promised, Ron, Harry and Hermione are waiting outside for you.

“So, what did Snape want?” Ron pries, softly patting the top of your head. 

“Oh, nothing,” you sigh, “He just wanted to have a word with me about my Potion.”

“How did you think you went with that?” Ron asks, considering you curiously. You shrug.

“Well, I followed everything as per the instructions but it’s Snape so I’m not sure.”

You glance at Harry, who has remained uncharacteristically quiet for most of the day.

“How did you think you went, Harry?” You ask, loud enough to snap him out of his thoughts.

“I botched it,” Harry confesses, though he doesn’t seem too worried about it at all, “I don’t really care, though.”

“Well you should,” Hermione chides, loftily, “Potions is a core subject in our curriculum. If we don’t pass Potions, we lose a huge percentage of our end of year scores.”

“Which means Snape will look bad enough for Dumbledore to finally fire the git,” Ron mutters in your ear, grinning. You snort a laugh and nudge him in the ribs, earning a yelp of surprise.

“You’re trouble, Ronald Weasley,” you murmur back, snickering.

“Arden!”

You pause, Ron, Harry and Hermione stilling, too. A familiar prickle of agitation threads itself beneath your skin as you recognise the familiar voice and wheel around to face him.

“What do you want, Malfoy?” you practically spit, watching as Draco, Crabbe and Goyle saunter towards you. He’s sneering, but there is an indisputable touch of worry in his eyes.

“You,” Draco snips, “Alone without your little guard dogs to defend you.”

His cold, pale eyes dart between Ron and Harry. Ron steps forward.

“She’s not going anywhere with you,” Ron snarls, darkly, stretching out a protective arm as if to shield you.

“Funny, I didn’t realise you were her keeper,” Draco snaps, venomously, “Are you really that poor you have to start working for your friends, Weasel?”

Crabbe and Goyle snigger gleefully. You roll your eyes and tap Ron’s arm gently.

“I’ll be fine,” you coo, reassuring both Ron and Harry. They nod in unison.

“I’ll take your book bag,” Hermione offers, and you hand her your bag gratefully, “We’ll see you at dinner.”

You nod and watch them leave, forcing a soft smile onto your lips when Harry glances back at you over his shoulder. You turn back to Malfoy moments later, glowering at him.

“Okay, you’ve got me,” you snip, harshly, “Now, tell me what it is that you want?”

Draco glances behind him at Crabbe and Goyle and flaps a dismissive hand at them, silently shooing them off. They stump away, pushing past other students and knocking frightened First Years aside.

When he’s sure it’s just the two of you, Draco, takes a few steps toward you, bowing his head so he can catch your eyes, “I wanted to ask you something.”

“If it has something to do with Noah Underwood, I don’t want to hear it,” you snap, sternly, “The guy is going through enough as it is, he doesn’t need you to keep snooping around like he’s some sort of criminal-”

“-Will you go to the Ball with me?”

Your lashes flutter rapidly as you blink at Draco once, twice, again. His cheeks are beginning to flush an interesting shade of pink.

“What?”

Draco rolls his eyes, “Don’t make me ask you again, Arden, you heard me.”

You stare at him quizzically, bemused by his request. Why would Draco want to ask you to the Ball? Was this a prank? A joke? A trick question or a weird way to humiliate you? You frown at him, thinking hard, raking your eyes across every inch of his face and scrutinising him carefully in the low, flickering lights of the dungeons, mind sprinting through a million theories at once until-

Laughter bubbles up your throat on impulse and spills from your lips, echoing through the Dungeons.

Draco blinks, taken aback. 

“Very funny, Malfoy,” you chortle, sighing, and Draco glowers at you.

“This isn’t a joke, Arden!” Draco snaps, angrily.

Your laughter dies on the tip of your tongue when you realise he’s serious and you scoff in cold indignation.

“Why would I want to go to the Ball with you, Draco?” You spit, coldly, venom dripping from your words, “You seem to relish in bullying me and my friends, particularly Harry. So give me one good reason why I should even consider coming with you when all you are is a jealous, spoilt and arrogant bully with a chip on his shoulder.”

Draco’s eyes glimmer like light bouncing off the tip of a blade. He opens his mouth then closes it, working around words he doesn’t want to say, doesn’t want to give a voice to, before he works his jaw and flares his nostrils and twists his lips into a frown.

“Never mind,” he snarls, bitterly, “I shouldn’t have bothered asking someone who parades around Potter like some loyal, little bitch.”

Before you can give him an angry retort, Draco storms away, fists clenched at his sides as though he wants to smash something.

Who are you kidding? You want to smash something.

Perplexed and incensed, you march out of the Dungeons and make your way toward the Great Hall for dinner, wondering what the fuck just happened.

***

After dinner with Hermione, the pair of you wander back to the common room, in which you explain everything that had happened with Malfoy earlier. Hermione had struggled to contain her gleeful giggles as she listened, which was as infuriating as it was embarrassing.

“Malfoy fancies you, (Y/N),” she manages through a bout of giggles, “That’s why he asked you. He’s always had a soft spot for you.”

“Oh don’t be so silly!” You dismiss her with a slap to her shoulder, “Malfoy was probably just mucking around.”

“But you said-”

“I know what I said,” you snip, warmth creeping up your neck and spilling across your cheeks, “But Draco Malfoy does not fancy me!”

Hermione bites down on a grin, swallowing the rest of her giggles and slinging an arm across your shoulders, “Whatever you say, (Y/N).”

You and Hermione reach the portrait of the Fat Lady and find her laughing boisterously with her friend, Violet. They both look rather tipsy in their tinsel crowns, faces flushed and words slurred.

“Fairy Lights,” you utter, speaking loudly so that she can hear you over Violet’s loud cackles.

“Aren’t they jus - hic - Magical,” the Fat Lady sighs, and you and Hermione exchanged an amused look as she swings open, admitting you into the common room.

You and Hermione climb through the portrait hole, entering the dim common room and spotting Harry, Ron and Ginny sitting by the fire.

“There they are!” Hermione says, pointing at the two snickering boys and an irritated-looking Ginny.

“Why weren’t you two at Dinner?” You ask, curiously dropping into a seat beside Harry. The two boys don’t seem to hear you, your voice drowned out by their laughter.

“Because - oh shut it, you two - because they both just got rejected by girls they asked to the Ball!” Ginny snaps, shooting a particularly nasty look to Ron and Harry.

You snort a laugh, slapping a hand across your mouth to smother your giggles as Ron glares at Ginny.

“Thanks a bunch, Ginny,” Ron grumbles, sourly, cheeks red beneath his freckles.

“All the good-looking ones taken, Ron?” Hermione snips, smirking bitterly, a touch of sardonic insolence in her tone, “Eloise Midgen starting to look a great deal prettier now isn’t she? Well, I’m sure you’ll find someone somewhere who’ll have you, it serves you right for being so snotty.”

Usually, Ron would snap back with something snappy. But Hermione’s snide remark seems to slide off Ron, who’s staring at the two of you as though a certain realisation had just dawned on him.

“Hermione, (Y/N), you’re both girls-”

“-Oh well spotted,” Hermione barks, coldly.

“You guys can come with us! Hermione can come with me and (Y/N) can go with-“

“I can’t,” you and Hermione both snap at the same time. You both exchange a glance.

“Why not?” Ron says, impatiently, “Look, Harry and I are going to look really stupid if we don’t find partners - especially Harry-“

“I - we - can’t come with you,” Hermione interrupts, blushing furiously, “Because we - I - am already going with someone!”

“No you’re not!” Ron says, scandalously, “You only said that to get rid of Neville!”

“How dare you, Ron?!” Hermione seethes, her eyes glinting dangerously, “How dare you think that, just because it takes you three years to notice, doesn’t mean no one else has spotted I’m a girl!”

Ron gaped at her in disbelief, before his shock melted into a grin.

“Ok, Fine, you’re a girl we get it. Now will you come with us?”

Hermione springs to her feet, fists shaking at her sides, “I told you already that I’m going with someone else, and if that’s so hard to believe I suggest that you get over yourself!”

Hermione storms away angrily, stomping up the stairs to the girls' dormitory.

“Now look what you’ve done!” You snap, glowering at Ron, “She wasn’t lying!”

Ron shakes his head, “Who is she going with then?”

You fold your arms across your chest, glaring at Ron angrily, “She obviously doesn’t want you to know, so I’m not going to tell you.”

Ron rolls his eyes and sighs, “This is getting stupid, Ginny can go with Harry and (Y/N) can come with me-”

“-No, Ron, weren’t you listening?” You snip, icily, “I’m already going with someone.”

You leap to your feet and march toward the winding staircase, intent on pursuing Hermione.

“Wait!” Harry calls out and you pause, wheeling around to face him, “Who-who are you going with?”

You hesitate, biting down on your bottom lip hard before unfurling it, “Cedric. I’m going with Cedric Diggory.”

Not waiting to see their reaction at this news, you spin around and scale the winding staircase, an uncomfortable warmth soaking your cheeks. Why did Ron have to be such a giant prat? He could be so incredibly mean to Hermione at times and completely oblivious to everything around him.

You come to a stop outside of your dorm and knock gently, cracking your knuckles against the wood of the doors.

“Hermione? Can I come in?” You ask, softly, carefully.

“You’d better,” says Hermione’s voice from behind the door, all traces of her anger having already left her voice, “There’s-there’s something here for you...”

Frowning, you pull open the door, spotting Hermione standing in front of your bed.

“Why? What is it-?”

You pause, your words forming an uncomfortable lump in the middle of your throat.

A strange box is sitting on your bed, practically screaming trouble.

“Someone must have brought it up here,” Hermione deduces, studying the box carefully, “It would have taken at least three owls to send it...”

You recognise the signature style all too quickly and your stomach curls in on itself, heart shuddering and throat constricting like a straw.

After weeks of silence, the mysterious sender is back again and it looks like they’ve upgraded from creepy photo to mysterious box.

It’s sitting on your bed like a plain, Pandora’s box, inviting you to open it and unleash a tempest of chaos. You approach it slowly, hesitantly, icy blood gushing through your crystallised veins like Antarctic waters travelling down the deltas of a cold-blooded monster. A part of you needs to see this; it could be clues, a lead, something that could aid you in this impossible investigation. But the other part of you is wary, perhaps even a little afraid, because you’re not sure if you’re prepared to face whatever is in this box.

Either way, you find yourself standing in front of it, peering down at the familiar scrawl written across the top, and you slice the string holding it together, gripping the lid and squeezing your eyes shut so you can muster up every single ounce of your Gryffindor courage, tearing the lid off and-

You gasp.

Oh.

“What is it?” Hermione asks, mincing hurriedly to your side.

“Oh,” she gasps, “Let’s-Let’s take it out.”

You do, pulling it from the box and holding it out in front of you. Hermione gasps again, raising a hand to cover her mouth.

“It’s beautiful,” she sighs, lips breaking into a smile.

You couldn’t agree more.

The dress is dripping with soft flowers and thin, curling vines, like gold veins running beneath ivory skin. The tulle cascades in soft waves to the floor, flowing through your arms like water. It’s elegant, dainty, feminine and incredibly expensive.

Hurrying to the full-length mirror, you hold the dress to your body, admiring how the style compliments your complexion. White diamonds wink at you from the centre of the dozens of flowers planted on the fabric.

“There’s a note, too!” Hermione exclaims, handing you a folded piece of parchment. You carefully take the letter from her outstretched hand, unfolding it with a smile.

My Dearest Belle Fiore,

Your mother once said that you were the ‘fiore of her life’, and she was right. You were the fiore of her life, and I have watched you blossom into the beautiful rose you are today. I couldn’t be more proud of the young woman you have become, and I will always be proud of you until my dying breath.

I know your mother would want you to wear this to your first ball; it was her wedding dress. But now, it’s yours, and I’ll know you’ll treasure it as much as the beloved bracelet she bestowed to you.

I wish I could see you in it but, unfortunately, the Prophet demands my time and energy. But I know you will be the most beautiful fiore in the entire garden, with or without this dress.

I love you now and always,

Papa

You blink through tears, clutching the letter tightly in your hands.

Your mother had worn this dress; her hair had flowed over it, her skin had warmed the delicate fabric and her wild and boundless heart - that heart that could swallow the world -  had hummed beneath it like a hummingbird in her chest.

You clutch the dress a little tighter, embracing it, feeling a new kind of warmth gush through you like butterbeer and sunlight. Its as though your mother is hugging you back, holding you to her chest so you can listen to her hummingbird heart one last time.

In that moment, it’s as though your mother is alive again. 

@marauderskeeper @weaselby418 @acciorinn @hervench @theseusscamandcr @depressed-octopods-art  @steph-fowlie @lilulo-12 @randomfangirl117 @asofslytherin @seunlight @thebesteleganttrashyouseen @elsie2018 @polkadotfairyposts @hylianhighlander @dracosdoves @siriuswitches @bernadineisreborn @lousimusician @randomoutsiders @smolldork @danidomm @xrosegoldwolfx @ashkuuuu @sly-vixen-up2nogood @reimiwritrs @tchalland @lucifersnipnips @ notorious-fiction @peppermintspecks @sleep-i-ness @reducto-bitch

[measuringlife]

Measuring Me: An Ode to My Love of Music

This Bob Marley quote has always resonated with me: “One good thing about music. When it hits you, you feel no pain.”

I must confess I am not musical. I can’t carry a tune, play an instrument, or read music of any sort. I think because I am not personally musical, I deeply appreciate music. I feel music with every fiber of my being. Music is my drug of choice.

It calms me down.

It picks me up.

It comforts me.

It’s something I can lose myself in.

I really started my love affair with music during my tween years, but those were all the years of the end of my parent’s marriage and my Dad moving out. Music was a good escape. I then turned to music to help ease the heartbreak of unrequited love in college. Music to help calm the stress of grad school. Music is where I turned for comfort after my Dad died. Music kept me going when I first running and continued to motivate me through thousands of miles over the years. Music helps me focus on work in the office or make a tedious task more enjoyable. Music drives the choreography of BODYPUMP and other Les Mills workouts.

I both hate and love how accessible music is in this day and age. I’m actually listening to the best of Broadway from Amazon Music as I type this thanks to yelling for Alexa to play “showtunes” for me. I remember creating my Pandora account in August 2005 and thinking WOW! Actually at one point in my life just after grad school circa 2008 the most expensive thing I owned (aside from my car) was my iTunes library. I would argue in my early high school years the most expensive thing I owned was my cd collection. For the record I still have all my CDs - I’ve just removed almost all the jewel cases and keep them in books or on a spindle. I also have ALL my early iTunes music saved to 2 different iPods.

Thinking back I remember certain songs from my childhood like “Kokomo” by the Beach Boys or “I would do anything for love” by Meatloaf or “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen or various broadway showtunes ranging from Jesus Christ Superstar to Phantom on the Opera to Grease and Rocky Horror. My Dad and my Aunt who were my stronger early musical influences had a penchant for Andrew Loyd Webber and campy shows! I also remember one of the first CDs our family purchased as a “hits of the 50s-60s” two-disc collection - it has a sad song I loved called “Tell Laura I love her” by Ray Peterson that I particularly loved. Spoiler alert the more heartbreaking the song the more I tend to like it.

CDs gained widespread popularity when I was in junior high school which was perfect for an angsty teen. Some early teen year CDs of the late 90s I loved were Eve6, Bush, Hootie and the Blowfish, Limp Bizkit, Third Eye Blind, and Matchbox 20. I really REALLY loved “Outside” by Staind and Fred Durst, I remember listening to that track from the 1999 Family Values Tour CD on REPEAT. However I also was a total teeny bopper with an eternal flame for Hanson, but also loved all things boys bands like Nsync, BSB, 98 degrees, 5ive, O-Town, and the “fake” boy band 2gether.

I went to my first concert in 2nd grade to see teen pop sensation Debbie Gibson! I didn’t go to another concert until 9th grade when I saw Backstreet Boys. From there I went to concerts as much as my mom would let me. Once I got my license my concert going really picked up. Jones Beach Outdoor Amphitheater was THE venue as a teenager, so many amazing summer concert memories there.

My love of music took another turn in college. Right away I joined the college radio station and all of a sudden had access to all these new artists on the rise. I remember my first semester of college in Fall 2001 getting a cd and small-time merch from this up and coming singer-songwriter who had Connecticut roots. You may have heard of him, his name is John Mayer. I honestly have COUNTLESS bands that I discovered through my college radio days (shout out WQAQ - the soundtrack of Quinnipiac). There is so much music I associate with college that it’s hard to recall when I was first introduced to them - like Dashboard Confessional, Jimmy Eat World, Something Corporate, Fall Out Boy, Yellowcard, Jack Johnson, and Ben Harper to name a few. I also recall listening to quite a bit of “screamo” back then like The Used and Hawthorne Heights. The band I will forever associate with QAQ is the Spill Canvas and they are still of my favorite bands. In fact, I’m seeing them in concert later this month!

I also went to a ton of concerts in college, one band I haven’t mentioned is Incubus. They are also one of my all-time favorites. I saw Incubus a number of times in college, most memorable were two tour stops in 2002. One at the Garden in NYC and one at the Hartford Civic Center. They started the shows playing full blast electric then they changed the vibe of the stage and did a couple of acoustic songs before switching back to full electric. The crazy thing is that so many of their songs work just all acoustic as they do full blast.

Going to concerts was also a great way to discover music through opening acts. I’ve always been a person to get to a show to see the opening act. The all-time best chain of introduction to music was when I went to my first John Mayer show in November 2002. It was the Sunday after Thanksgiving and we all arrived back to college that afternoon with the concert that night. The drive up we listened to John Mayer the whole ride. The venue, the Oakdale Theater in Wallingford CT was small (I just looked it up the capacity was 4,800) and so intimate. Everyone there were passionate John Mayer fans, the opening act had their work cut out for them. Enter: Maroon 5 as the opening act. They melted my face off. They had the most unbelievable energy and hot damn could they shred on guitar. John Mayer even came out before his set to shred with them on one song. My best memory of that set was when Adam Levine covered Nine In Nails “Closer.” Holy hell, still one of the best performances I’ve seen. Ever. Just to be clear the John Mayer show was also amazing, the best one of his I’ve ever gone too because of how small it was I think. However, I walk away from a stellar John Mayer show still buzzing from Maroon 5. I could write a whole blog post of my Maroon 5 fandom in their early days (like how I was part of their “street team” and was invited by their management to go to their first Total Request Live performance because they wanted fans who could sing along to every word in the audience). Anyway back to the chain of amazing artist introduction. October 2003 I was going to NYC for the night to see Maroon 5 and low and behold their opening act was a newcomer named Gavin DeGraw who stole the show, his cover of Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get in On” is yet another top concert memory. I should also note 30 Seconds to Mars opened for Incubus when I saw them in Hartford in 2002. 

Another note from the early 2000s history books, during my college years Kazaa and Limewire were at their height. Plus being on a college ethernet that was not yet “wireless” we were able to log into a campus-wide music portal some smart computer programming major kid set up where you essentially made you music public for others to copy and you were able to search and copy other people’s music. SO MUCH MUSIC. I was particularly obsessed with ripped live versions of songs.

Looking back at the top 10 performances/shows I’ve seen - not including festivals - because that could be its own category. If there is a particularly noteworthy song I’ll note it.

Incubus - 11am acoustic (2002 - Hartford Civic Center)

John Mayer (2002 - Oakdale Theatre)

Maroon 5 - Closer (2002 - Oakdale Theatre)

Third Eye Blind - (2003 - SPB Concert at Quinnipiac - Josh Kelley opened and was awesome)

Gavin DeGraw - Let’s Get it On (2003/2004 - NYC and Hartford - both were amazing)

Spill Canvas - All Hail The Heartbreaker (2004 - The Attic, Hamden CT)

Maroon 5 (2004/2005 at two tiny Long Island venues)

David Cook - Permanent (Night for Hope 2012 - State Theatre, Falls Church VA)

Jimmy Eat World - A Praise Chorus (2017 - Bristow VA)

Hanson - (2017 - The Fillmore - Silver Spring - also 2018 - Wolf Trap they played Yearbook for the first time ever on tour during their String Theory shows)

Top 10 influential albums by a single artist/band listed chronologically - not including any soundtracks, showtunes, or festival albums which each could be its own categories. You may notice there are some artists where I can’t choose one either due to both being amazing or discovering them around the same time and listening to them digitally in a shuffled mix. 

Hanson - Middle of Nowhere (1997)

Third Eye Blind - Third Eye Blind (1997 self-titled debut)

Eve 6  - Eve 6 (1998 self-titled debut)

Incubus - Make Yourself (1999)/Morning View (2001)

John Mayer - Room for Squares (2001)/Any Given Thursday (2003)

Dashboard Confessional - The Swiss Army Romance (2000)/The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most (2001)

Maroon 5 - Songs About Jane (2002)

Gavin DeGraw - Chariot (2003) / Chariot: Stripped (2004)

Spill Canvas - Sunsets and Car Crashes (2004)/One Fell Swoop (2005)

David Cook - Analog Heart (2006)

Honorable mention all of David Cook’s albums from his old band Axium

[kkruml]

STAY Chapter 1

@balfeheughlywed wrote a post:

My favorite trope is when the cocky, but emotionally damaged boy falls in love with the good girl, but pushes her away because he knows he will ruin her or she’ll leave him eventually, and while doing so, becomes a jealous asshole when she tries to date other people even though he does the same and then they meet up somewhere and shit happens and they get back together after he admits all of his deep dark secrets and fears and they live happily ever after.

SO.... WE’RE GONNA TRY THIS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

Language and content are a bit NSFW in this fic.

Big props as always to @smoakingwaffles and @missclairebelle for putting up with me.

Oh, and this banner? yeah @missclairebelle worked double time because I canna handle photoshop or editing apps.

x

AO3

CLAIRE

“This bar isna bad- no’ as good as the pub down the street, but it’ll do,” Geillis’s voice was full of excitement as she eyed Claire. “I hear there’s live music tonight. Straight from the Highlands, the broodish sort. Big, fit- like a Viking. I bet he has a cock to match.”

She coughed into her glass as she gasped for air. “Fuck, Geillis!”

She wiped the beer from her chin, shaking her head as she laughed with her.

Claire had only been in town a few weeks, a recent transfer from Boston. She was still finding her footing; this was a fresh start. Geillis was friendly enough and found a certain thrill in dragging her to bars and clubs since first agreeing to a post-shift drink. Her idea of a Friday night consisted of a good book and favorite spot on the couch. But nights with Geillis were never dull, and she needed the distraction.

Geillis’s lips curled in a coy smile, like a cat looking for her next canary. “Don’t take my word for it, see for yerself, Claire.”

She turned towards the stage, her eyes finding a tall figure. He was kneeling, his hands effortlessly opening his guitar case. His shoulders were broad, his cotton shirt stretched over lines of muscle just peeking through. The spotlight lit his hair like a match, auburn curls just below his ears, resting at the base of his neck. Her eyes lingered on the trail from his nape to his waistline, a faint line of his spine just barely visible.

“Mmm, yes. I might have to fight for it,” Geillis raised her glass, one finger gesturing to the circle of young twenty-somethings crowded around the stage. She took the rest of the liquid in one motion as she winked, “But I canna wait to dig my nails into that back tonight.”

Claire laughed, turning back to the bar, one finger circling the rim of her glass as her mind wandered back to the hospital. It was a tough day; one drink wasn’t going to cut it.

The sound of buzzing from the amp pulled her from her thoughts, and she took the last of her beer, motioning for a refill. The song was slow and the notes pierced her skin with an unexpected melancholy. The voice behind her was deep and soft, with an edge to it, a Scottish lilt lingering just under the surface.  

“Are ye no’ gonna enjoy the show?” Her voice was soft and teasing, “the song’s no’ bad either.”

She rolled her eyes, nodding. Was that really all she could think about?

She took a sip of her fresh beverage before rotating towards the stage, and she froze.

Fuck.

The musician in front of her was flawless. The line of his jaw set square, his lips formed the words with a startling intimacy that took her breath away. She felt a heat creep under her skin as dark blue eyes widened and locked onto her. The guitar reflected the lights, almost blinding her. His gaze pierced through her, a pulse of heat settled in her belly as her muscles clenched at the sensation.

An elbow to the rib shocked her back to reality as she blinked, breaking her gaze as she turned towards Geillis.

“Don’t tell me I need to fight you for him, too?”

Her cheeks blushed a deep red as she bit her lip and shook her head. Based on the table in front of him, captained by locks of long blonde hair, there was no way she was his type. What would she even say to someone like… him.

Jamie

The same crowd was there, perched in their seats, waiting. He didn’t need to look to know who was front and center. Laoghaire. He let out a deep exhale- he was worried she’d be here. They had their fun- a lot of it, but he was honest with her about not wanting anything more… he always was.

But she was here anyways, all heart-eyes and drooling. He shrugged his shoulders, trying to relax the muscles in his neck as he reached into the case, grabbing his guitar. He checked each string before grabbing his cloth and taking an extra moment to shine the polished mahogany before plugging into the amp.

Another night, another set of the same songs.

His fingers found the strings, an all-too familiar pattern as he scanned the crowd, groaning slightly as his eyes circled to the table in front of him. Same girls, same looks.

The lyrics came without thought and he strummed mindlessly as his eyes scanned the bar. The spotlight created a halo of light that obscured his view but he caught a flash of red hair contrasted against a set of emerald eyes that were intent on him. Even from a distance, he could read her body language enough to know what she was thinking. He blinked slowly as he smiled to himself. Perhaps.

The thought was lost to him when his eyes caught the form next to her, a mess of dark brown curls, narrow shoulders slightly hunched forward- seemingly disinterested in everything he was doing onstage.

A modest, loose cotton white t-shift settled against her thin frame and faded jeans cupped the round of her hips. She shifted her weight from side to side, her white converse shoes flashed against the dark of the dirty bar floor as she rolled each ankle.

Had she been on her feet all day?

Everything about her was in stark contrast to the redhead. This lass wasn’t looking for attention, and it intrigued him. He didn’t look away, instead his lip curled slightly at the corner, a small smile pulled at his lip as his voice formed the next few words, finding sudden interest.

He trained his gaze on her, waiting for her to turn. When she did, he found himself staring into a deep gold of amber. There was an innocence to her face; her eyes were wide and honest.

She was the one to break their contact, and he found himself wanting.

Hm. That was different.

He watched her for another moment.

So she was with here the redhead, then.

His pick hit the strings with more vigor as he let the last note hang in the air, looking down at the set list- counting the songs until his break. Eight.

He normally paused between songs, finding some measure of enjoyment in watching the table of girls in front of him get excited and swoon. A quick wink here, a knowing smile there. He knew exactly what buttons to press and how to secure company for the night.

But not tonight.

After strumming the final chord, he set his guitar on its stand and stepped off the side of the stage, finding the most direct route to the bar. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Laoghaire advancing towards him. He had just enough time to brace himself as her arms wrapped around his neck, blonde hair flooded his vision and the faint trace of red wine lingering on her breath invaded his senses. His eyes darted towards the bar, seeing whisky amber watching him before her gaze again flickered away.

FUCK.

His hands reached for Laoghaire’s and he untangled himself, smiling curtly as he headed towards the bar.

CLAIRE

The final song finished and the soft hum of Pandora filled the space as her eyes settled into the bottom of her glass.  

I was right.

That table was engrossed in his every movement. Sure- they had made eye contact, but she knew she was just another face- another challenge. She shifted back to the bar, sighing deeply, frustrated at her disappointment. She would not be just another conquest, a victory to claim and quickly discarded.

A weight settled beside her; a solid, warm line of skin met hers as she felt an electric charge shoot through her arm. Her eyes darted to the point of contact and she held her breath. A muscular arm rested next to her, the rope of well-developed tricep just veiled under a thin cotton shirt. She swallowed hard as her eyes traced the line of muscle to his shoulder and neck, finding auburn curls.

Her breath shook somewhat as she slowly raised her eyes to his, peaking through eyelashes.

Bloody hell.

“Ye like the music sae far, lass?” His accent was thick, his smile burning into her as she struggled to keep her balance.

“It’s alright.” She shrugged, trying for indifference as her pulse radiated into her fingertips. She grabbed her glass and took a long sip.

He laughed, his brows creasing slightly as he looked down, nodding slightly. “Havena seen ye here before, are ye new in town?”

She laughed into her glass, trying to clear her throat as she looked at him, shaking her head. “Well that’s an original line laddie buck.”

“I dinna mean-“ he stuttered, a faint rosy hue forming on his cheeks. He looked uncomfortable, unsure of himself as he trailed off, looking at her- helpless.

“Oh I think I know what you meant,” her voice was harsher than she intended- she was acting more confident than she felt. A quick glance at the table by the stage indicated he would have no trouble stroking his ego tonight.

“What a bonny voice ye have there,” her voice purred as she slipped between them.

Geilis was nothing if not subtle, and Claire said a silent thank you as she took another deep pull of her beer, clearing her head. He was too close, her brain hitched and she needed space so she could think of something other than the curve of his lip and line of his cheekbone as he smiled. She didn’t need to think about those strong hands as he played, imagining them trace the lines of her skin as he-

Stop it Beauchamp.

Jamie

So, she had noticed the lasses.

She wasn’t wrong either. He had enjoyed himself, to be sure, mostly to fill the void- a distraction, other times in moments of weakness or boredom. But this lass, this Sassenach, she was different. Her foreignness caught him off guard.

“Will ye play more for us, then?” He could hear the menace in the redhead’s voice. He turned, seeing emerald eyes sparkling, locked on him. “Ye play sae lovely.”

Catching her accent, he smiled and nodded, “Morain Taing.”

“Aye, yer quite welcome,” she was almost purring as her gaze traveled the length of his body. His eyes shifted to the lass behind her, searching for whisky eyes but found only dark brown curls hiding her face.

 “Oh, aye…” He paused, holding his gaze, willing this Sassenach to look up at him. “But I was just about to head outside for a moment to catch some fresh air.”

He saw the spark of an invitation on her face and before she could respond, his hand reached past her and softly rested on ivory skin, just below the mess of brown curls.

“Care to join me?” His voice was direct and his head cocked, eyes looking past the redhead- leaving no question as to which lass he was speaking.

He watched the golden amber darken as she blinked hard. She looked bewildered but nodded silently, placing her drink on the bar top before standing to follow him.

CLAIRE

“Beautiful night, aye?” He leaned against the side of the building, eyeing her.

“I suppose it is.” She returned his stare, crossing her arms and shifting her weight to one leg. “So what exactly am I doing out here?”

“Tis a bit crowded in there, is all,” he voice sounded controlled, but she saw a slight twitch in his shoulders- he looked almost nervous. “Just wanted a moment of peace before I go back onstage.”

“If you wanted peace, why did you ask me to come with you?” He wasn’t making sense.

“”I meant-I…” the question puzzled him and he suddenly looked lost. His veneer of confidence looked to crack at the edges as he ran his fingers through his hair. “All I meant was… Christ.”

Her brows raised as her eyes shifted from his to see his hand. It was almost shaking, two fingers drumming to a nonexistent tune. She had no idea what he was trying to say, so she waited.

“Sassenach, I just meant to… want to-” He was coming undone as he struggled for words. He exhaled hard before shrugging his shoulders in defeat. “Yer no’ like the other lasses in there and I just wanted a bit o’ time to get to know ye.”

He thought I was different- well he was right.

She wasn’t his type- that much she knew. But she wanted to know exactly what he meant by that, so she took a step closer, asking, “How do you know I’m not like the other girls in there?”

“Because…” His eyes were a deep blue and his face contorted slightly as the words hit him. “Ye dinna linger at the sage, lookin’ for my attention.” His laugh had an edge to it as he finished, “Thought I’d have to fight to get ye’ alone out here- just to feel the calm ye bring with ye.”

She stared at him, the flash of confidence she felt only moments ago about her first impression was replaced with confusion.

He seemed to take her silence as a nod to continue. “Ye have a way of making me smile- and the smile lingers, for nae reason at all.” His accent was coming stronger with each word. “I canna explain it… it’s just, ye seem to bewitch me, and I dinna want it to stop.”

His words caught her off guard, and she stood there- seeing his eyes wide and searching for a response.

Was this really how she spoke to the other girls?

She took a deep breath, lungs searching for air that was not heavy with his aroma- traces of jasmine, shampoo, and fresh linen.  She stared at him as his face tensed, “My name isn’t Sassenach.”

“I’m sorry if I offended ye,” his words came fast, almost jumbled, “I mean no dis-”

A soft smile formed on her face as she held out her hand. “It’s Claire.”

He returned the smile as a look of relief washed over him. He took her hand, large fingers encompassing it as he replied, “Jamie.”

JAMIE

They lingered for a moment- hands clasped tight, a charge between them and he felt a rush of adrenaline coupled with a sense of calm. Her face twitched and he was sure she felt it, too. A rosy pigment painted her cheeks as she pulled her hand back- breaking the connection, but the sensation of her touch lingered on his fingertips.

“You’re right, you know.” Her voice was soft. “I am a Sassenach, I suppose. I haven’t been in Edinburgh very long- just a few weeks.”

“It was a fair guess,” his tone matched hers as he felt his muscles relax. “This city is no’ so big… after a while ye see the same faces.”

She nodded slowly, eyes wandering for a moment before refocusing. “I was in America before… Boston.”

He caught the hitch in her breath as she struggled for the last word, and he resisted asking for more.

She seemed to take the silence as a gift, and after a deep breath, she turned back towards the door. She paused, not speaking or moving, but he could see a myriad of thoughts behind that smooth whisky amber.

“Och, weel…I suppose I should get back to the stage, aye?” He was sorry to leave; he wanted to anchor himself to that spot- in this moment, with her- Claire.

A hint of a smile crept across her face as she took a small step forward. “Yes, I suppose so.”

He held the door open for her, gesturing for her to lead the way. She paused, looking down at her hands, fingers now knotted together.

“Ye alright, Claire?” He felt a warmth in his chest as he said her name, and he let it simmer as his eyes watched her.

“Y-Yes… I was just thinking it’s getting late and I should go.” He thought he caught the hint of disappointment in her voice.

She took a deep breath before looking up at him, a slight blush to her chees as she smiled. “Can I see your phone… just for a moment?”

His eyebrows creased in confusion, but he passed it to her without hesitation. She took it and he watched as her thumbs danced across the screen. She passed it back to him, the smile traveling across her mouth and it lit the golden hue of her eyes.

“It was nice meeting you, Jamie.” She turned without another look.

He watched her form as it disappeared around the corner and he let out a long-held breath. He looked at his phone- the screen still on “add contact.” He scrolled to “C”- finding no new entries and his smile faded. He blinked, looking back at the direction she had turned, and then back towards his phone. His thumb traveled through the alphabet to “S” and he smiled.

Sassenach.

He took a deep breath before reaching for the door, shaking his head slightly.

We are both in trouble, lass.

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT 3X07 - Dark Hollow

After the BEST WEEKEND EVER, I’m back! Just giving you a heads up -- to say on the timeline, I’m gonna pump these guys out a bit faster than usual, so my reviews may end up a lot shorter.

Anyway, I hope your week wasn’t too...HOLLOW in my absence!

The puns return!!!

Anywho, smart stuff under the cut!

Press Release

Mr. Gold and Regina send Ariel back to Storybrooke with an item that will allow Belle to locate a hidden artifact that could help take down Pan. But unbeknownst to them, two men have broken into the town with the intent to stop them - at all costs. Meanwhile, Emma, Neal and Hook attempt to find Dark Hollow, where Peter Pan’s shadow dwells, in order to capture it, and Mary Margaret is upset with David for keeping his poisoning a secret from her.

Main Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness

Storybrooke

Conflicts where Belle gets to be in the role of hero always have the potential to be great, and while some *cough “The Outsider”* fail, this one does a fair amount better! Belle’s last conversation with Rumple and the little help she can provides makes her moping understandable (Albeit a little annoying) and Ariel’s encouragement and need for this to be successful acts as a great contrast.

I do wish that more went into Belle’s story here. As is, it’s Belle mopes, she hears a keyword or sees something, and she just solves the problem. There’s no either moment of realization on Belle’s part or a conversation that is communicated to Belle that states that she’s already a hero. Well, sort of scratch that because of her conversation with Archie at Granny’s, but it’s never reinforced by anyone. Because of that, while not badly put together, the problem that Belle had at the start of the episode isn’t really solved. It’s just dismissed. For an example of this done right, look at “Bear and the Bow.” There, Merida doesn’t believe that she can save her family on her own, needs to be pushed into solving the problem on her own, and when she does, there’s that moment of realization that she had that potential. This is a flabbier version of that story.

Neverland

“The fact that they both have feelings for you is dangerous, too.” Oh, the love triangle episode. Look, I’ll level with you. The best part of this segment is the end where Emma nips this in the bud and tells them both to fuck off until the mission is done.

And I get that the framing is supposed to be like that. Killian and Neal are so invested in their romances with Emma that they endanger everything, but it’s in no way anything less than an utter pain in the ass to watch. And it leaves such a bad mark on both men, having them prioritize a romance over Henry -- Neal’s son and the motivation of Killian’s redemption! What I would’ve done is stated that Dark Hollow would enhance feelings of bitterness towards one’s companions, making the pettiness here work better. That way, the almost cartoon-y and sabotage-y lengths that the guys went to would’ve been much better. As it stands, it’s annoying to watch and because the segment is from Emma’s POV, it doesn’t even serve to deliver a theme like some other stories of its ilk do for other characters.

Part of me feels like this episode was supposed to be a callout to shippers to tell them to focus on the main story over the ships, but for that to be truly effective and not make Neal and Killian come off so badly, there’d need to be either a lot more self awareness from the two guys (Which would end the story prematurely) or some agent that would artificially push those issues to a place of greater importance than Henry’s safety.

On the flip side, I love Pan’s gambit. It’s amazing seeing Pan and Felix plant the seeds of Pan’s next scheme in a way that makes it look like Henry’s solving the mystery. It’s such a treat seeing this and actually having the knowledge of knowing precisely what Pan is doing beforehand. We see how sharp Pan is as he checks the boxes of exploiting Henry’s goodwill (Wanting to be a hero, the connection between Henry and his father, the love of fairytales) and all the while making him feel clever. It’s not frustrating, but because of the POV, it makes an aspect of this kind of story that’s been so ingrained into our skulls at this point feel fresh! His use of Wendy to paint himself as a hero is fantastic, doing a great job to tilt Henry’s thought process.

Insights - Stream of Consciousness

-”They saved us.” I really love how much everyone cheers over the heroes saving them. Look, the heroes have their faults, but there’s a reason why the town at large stays loyal to them.

-I also ADORE scenes of Storybrooke at large working together. All of the major players are so great!

-I love the overall BIGNESS of the cloaking spell. It something that follows our characters throughout the rest of the series and it’s appropriately epic and not just in the sense that its an obstacle for our “villains.”

-I can’t look at that “Leaving Storybrooke” sign. I just can’t. It makes me so sad!

-”She’ll know exactly what to do.” Rum Rum, just because you can perceive vague shit doesn’t mean everyone else can!

-”Guess you’ll just have to trust me.” Reggie, you are lucky that Ariel is a trusting person because this is shady af!

-”Someone is leaving Neverland.” This line is utterly fantastic, especially with how subtly it’s said. You get a real sense of how embedded Pan truly is with Neverland as a whole.

-*Seethes in anger as fucking C*leman shows up* Fuck you, C*leman.

-”No giant stepping on my Miata!” If Anton were here, he’d take offense to that. ...Also, where IS he? Does he not show up for the rest of the series? If so, I honestly regret not honoring him in my last overview.

-I love how Archie was just anticipating slipping into therapist mode, hungry for that session like I am for that cheeseburger!

-”Now you’ve got a dress code? I seem to recall some Ruby outfits that are seared into my brain.” Grumpy! Bad!

-What is it with red-haired characters in this series ROCKING the color green? Ariel and Zelena just make it look so good!

-”He’s really into being cryptic, isn’t he?” Honey, you have NO idea!

-”It’s good to see you inherited his tunnel vision.” Snowy, you have NO idea.

-”I’m not holding your family prisoner.” I love that subtle bit of gaslighting. No, he’s not holding Henry’s family prisoner, but he is holding HENRY prisoner.

-”It’s a corkscrew, but it’s not what Rumple needs.” I don’t know about that, Belle. He could stab a Lost Boy or two. *shrugs*

-Wow! Some subtle acting from Emiliee! Look at her hands as she holds Pandora’s Box! The subtle shaking is amazing, saying so much about how powerful the box truly is!

-Pan is such a sneaky little bitch. I love how as soon as one plan is discovered, it only takes him another moment to create another plan that accounts for the failings of the last one.

-*Emma almost decapitates Killian with her sword* I’m pretty sure Colin said that that was a blooper that actually made it onto the show! XD

-Hey pre-Underworld Underworld filter! Good to see you!

-I can also understand why David wouldn’t want to tell Snow: For Emma’s sake. She just gets her parents back and then she’d have to lose at least one of them. David was trying to spare her from losing both of them too.

-”You want to tell me how that coconut works?” You should probably tell Jen too because WOW, she hated that prop!

-I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that 99% of Emma’s relief in that scene was Jen’s relief in finally closing that fucking coconut!

-”Providing motivation.” “For what?” “For doing what needs to be done.” Wow. Looks like Rumple’s cryptic-ness is rather genetic.

Arcs - How Are These Storylines Progressing?

The Mission to Find Henry - We now have a way back AND a way to defeat Pan! Things feel like they’re chugging along again, and it works pretty naturally with how the last two episodes went.

Killian’s Redemption - “Why would I have done that [Not tell the group about Neal]?” I like how even as he’s in this love triangle with Neal, Killian doesn’t regret saving him for even a second. That really speaks to Killian’s growth!

Regina’s Redemption - Regina keeping her part of their bargain is a BIG deal in terms of her redemption!

Rumple’s Redemption - Rumple actually says that he will do his best to honor Belle and Ariel’s request to help Wendy and that also is a BIG step! Also, Rumple pointing out that Regina’s jealous of having someone shows a fair amount of self-awareness!

Favorite Dynamic

Henry and Pan. I’ve gone on about them above, but Pan’s understanding of Henry’s personality and subsequent manipulation of that for his own gain is fascinating to watch! Despite only knowing Henry for less than a week, Pan’s got him pegged! He knows the qualities that Henry wants to see in someone he’ll trust and his own aspirations for himself. And though manipulated, Henry is so careful about Pan, showing a lot of intelligence. His “weakness” here is hs kind heart and it’s the perfect aspect on Henry to exploit once it’s clear that method of lying won’t work.

Writer

Kalinda Vazquez and Andrew Chambliss are up again, and I found their storytelling here to be a bit lackluster. The Storybrooke segment was enjoyable, but flabby in terms of delivery and the exact opposite could be said for the Neverland main story. It’s not terrible, but just a little half baked.

Rating

7/10. I wish things had been a bit tighter here. As it stands, this wasn’t OUAT’s best. BUT that’s not to say that there weren’t things I liked. Everything with Pan, Henry, and the Darling siblings was magnificent and Ariel (As usual) is simply a delight)! Also, Emma’s speech at the end where she put the issue of shipping to rest to focus on the mission was just fantastic and an utterly badass moment! I just wished they played more of (Or in the case of Emma’s speech, a better) a role in the main stories.

Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness”

Grumpy Beauty - Once again, we get to see bits of these two working together early on and it’s just the best!

Captain Swan - Okay, I love how Emma’s big point in Killian’s favor was how he told her about Neal. That’s such an earnest, sweet, and Emma-like thing to adore. Also, “so when I win your heart, Emma -- and I will win it -- it won’t be because of any trickery. It will be because you want me.” I love that resolve of Killian’s to not only be with Emma, but to be with her honestly. It speaks to sentiments she values and shows his commitment to his own redemption. ALSO, “I’ve yet to see you fail.” Killian honestly does believe in her!

Swan Fire - I really enjoyed Neal’s apology at the end of the episode and I love how you can see how his returned resolve to focus on Henry had its effect on Emma and was so sincere! <3

Rumbelle - Just look at the way Belle basically blubbers as she first sees Rumple’s face through the sand dollar. It’s so beautiful. Honestly, this whole episode is a love letter to Rumbelle and just how much they mean to each other and trust in each other. “Tell Belle I love her. And that she’s right. I WILL see her again.”

Snowing - I love Snow and David’s argument. It’s so raw and it so clearly comes from this place of love.

Swan Queen - There’s really something to be said for Emma succeeding thanks to her understanding of Regina whereas both Neal and Killian sort of failed her! <3

-----

Again, thank you for your patience with these more rushed out reviews. I really want to stay on schedule and thankfully, there wasn’t a hello of a lot to say here.

Also, thank you to @watchingfairytales! It was lovely meeting half of you guys at the con!

Season 3 Total (66/220) Writer’s Scores: Adam and Eddy (19/60) Kalinda Vazquez (17/40) Andrew Chambliss (17/50) Jane Espenson (10/30) David Goodman (10/40) Robert Hull (10/40) Christine Boylan (10/20) Daniel Thomsen (10/30)

Operation Rewatch Archives

[ofsalvo-a-blog]

"   do you know what it feels like to wake up everyday   ,   knowing that you hate what you do and it’s slowly killing you from the inside   ?   and yet   ,   death follows me everywhere   ---   reminding me that causing chaos and destruction is all i’m good at doing   . . .   who am i if i’m not death’s wicked scythe   ?   “

preface   :   this isn’t a post condoning my muses behaviors or actions   .   i’m fully aware of the things she does and i do not   ,   what so ever   ,   condone them   .   this is a post that took me about half an hour to realize and actually say it out loud   .   it’s about an internal struggle   ---   one of the major internal struggles that mia has   .

i have recently spoken to my therapist about my muse because she’s been an important figure in my life for about four years now   .   i created her in 2014 when i was in a deep depression and needed an outlet to cope with what i was feeling   .   a few questions were asked   :   who is she   ?   what do you love about her   ?   etc   . . .    now immediately i went ahead and explained how much i love mia because she’s like my child (   a fictional one   ,   but one of my own creation and i am very protective of her   )   .   mia on the outside and what you first notice is a woman of mystery   ,   someone who is guarded and of course a dangerous person   .   deadly and beautiful   ,   as some might describe   .   when going into her background and her story   ,   how she developed into the woman you see now   .   the question was asked of me again   .   what do you love about her   ?   the question was asking me to delve deeper and think hard about what i feel about my muse   .   i explained that she is a bad person because of what she does   ,   that she does many things that most normal people wouldn’t do   .   but despite everything she does   ,   she hates it because it feels naturally   ,   unnatural to her to do some of the things she does that are deemed evil or bad   .   but unfortunately   ---   it is the only thing she knows how to do   .   mia was never a normal person after her parents died   ---   she lost her innocence and her childhood   .   

again   ,   that same question was asked of me   .   was i not getting to the point or was i missing something   .   apparently   ,   i was   .   mia is someone who is inherently a good person   ,   but was molded into the person she was today   .   she has good qualities about her that stand out   ,   one being her compassionate nature   ---   almost merciful depending on the circumstances   .   she was always a caring individual because   ,   despite all that has happened to her   ,   that kindness was brought out of her when she lived in the children’s village   ,   with the help of sister caterina (   who was like a mother figure for her   )   .   so you can see why she would have this internal struggle and the problems she faces personally because of what she does   .

it is no secret that mia was molded into this “   perfect weapon   “   .   she was trained to become someone who couldn’t risk any second thoughts or apathy towards someone   .   when a job needs to be done   ,   that’s it   ---   there’s no second-guessing   .   emotions can and will get you killed in the line of duty   ,   considering her part as an agent for pandora   .   during those times it was for the protection of her country and in some other ways   .    the protection of others across the world   .   and because she is naturally a very sympathetic and apathetic person   .   she needed to detach herself from what is inherently good about her   .   and by detaching herself   ,   she becomes mildly sociopathic   .   no emotion   ,   no sympathy   ,   no regrets and in most cases no conscience  .   and this act slowly rips her apart as an internal struggle continues even after she goes rouge   .   

so you can see why mia has internal struggles   ,   she’s a good person   ,   she means well no matter what and she has a moral code that she follows whenever she takes on an assignment   .   she once obtained a healthy heart (   by stealing it from a hospital   ) for a little boy who was the son of a boss of the italian mafia   .   she has done rescue assignments   ,   killed bad men to free women or destroy artillery to save people   .   mia has a lot of guilt if and when innocents are caught in the crosshairs   .   she is a “   mercenary   “   ,    a   “   fixer   “   ---   but she never does things for the money   .   she does this because it’s what she’s good at   .   she doesn’t believe she can adapt to a normal life   ,   even if she willingly chose to do it   .   though the thought has crossed her mind   .   

this is her least favorite thing to do    .   she hates taking a life and hates doing what she does  .   she doesn’t find any of this fun or enjoyable   .   

but no matter what   ,   there is a chance to be merciful   ---   to do good   ,   to give back and have a conscience   .   could it get her killed   ?   sure it can   ,   she already sees she’s already a dead woman walking anyway   .   but then again   ,   how can you help to be who you are   ?   and naturally all of this has given her even more internal struggles   .   how to cope   ,   how to deal with the aftermath   ,   how to weigh her conscience appropriately   . . .   it isn’t abnormal for mia to attach herself or make a connection with someone   .   but then also begins to fear that her life will poison them or in fact   ,   get them killed   .   though that will not stop her from stopping herself from forming any kind of relationship   .   in the end   ,   she’s just another human being who was dealt a real shitty hand of cards   .   mia wasn’t meant for this life and she is so much more than who she portrays herself to be   .   more than being a killer   ,   more than being some cold-hearted bitch   ,   more than anything “   evil   “   .   

[khdiscussions]

Kingdom Hearts Attraction

So uh, for those of you not up to date: This was said as a mention about the idea of Square and Disney collaborating for this and if it gets off the ground it will be huge. Right now, it’s nothing more than a pipe dream, but I’d like to address this anyways since I come with a very unique perception in that not only do I live near the Disney parks, but the parks might be the only thing I’m more obsessed with than Kingdom Hearts.

(Going under a read more because when I talk about parks I get rambly.)

So first off, if this becomes a thing, which it still needs to be discussed with a bunch of people first, it will very likely start off in one of two parks. The more likely Tokyo Disneyland or the Walt Disney World Resort. Tokyo Disneyland is likely due to...well...Japan. Japanese video game company, I shouldn’t have to spell it out for you. Disney World, however, has already had a history with the parks as early as 2004 when costumes of Sora, Donald, and Goofy were actually able to have meet and greets due to Mickey’s Not So Scary, as well as a couple other tiny easter eggs. Furthermore Walt Disney World is still the number one tourist destination in the world, so really there’s a 50% chance of anything new starting there between the four parks. Admittedly Disneyland is possible due to the Dandelion meet up taking place in Anaheim, but like with Disneyland Paris being the park Nomura visited for inspiration on attraction flow, it doesn’t feel like enough to lock in that park for a likely location.

So limiting ourselves down to Tokyo Disneyland Resort and Walt Disney World Resort, there’s really only six parks it can go in. So let’s break it down:

Animal Kingdom: If Disney still has a shred of self respect for themselves and their theming, they won’t do this. This might be the combination that could have KH make me cancel my Disney park pass and that’s all I feel should be said on the subject.

Tokyo DisneySEA: I would normally consider this likely, however, Disney has just announced a huge expansion opening in 2022. With this in mind, it’d be bad business practice to announce the KH anything here next year (since if I were them I’d announce summer 2019 so long as it ends up being worked out) since that’d be opening around the same time and be horribly overshadowed. It’d be like if they decided to open a KH ride in MGM in 2019 when Star Wars land opens. It just isn’t going to happen.

Tokyo Disneyland/Magic Kingdom: Admittedly, I don’t know a lot about the Disneyland clone over in Tokyo, but what I do know is that it shares similarities with the park we have here (down to both parks having Cinderella Castle), as such I feel confident in lumping it in with Magic Kingdom. If they were to build the ride here, it would fit in best with Fantasyland theming, which touches on the various Disney movies and high fantasy elements, it’d work pretty well. On the flip side, a Gummi Ship based attraction could fit in well in Tomorrowland, and exclusively in Tokyo Disneyland there’s also Toontown, which might work decently. So long as they stay out of the Adventureland and Frontierland skinned areas (and even then if done properly Adventureland could be justified), it would work. (This applies to any of the Disneyland clones, do Anaheim and Paris apply here too.)

Hollywood Studios: I mean it’s unlikely because it goes against theming but also at the exact same time this park is identity-less and bad anyways so I wouldn’t even be mad if they did destroy theming here for it. I’d just be excited to have a reason to care about the park. I don’t even care about the principle I just really hate this park.

Epcot: This is the most likely location for a Kingdom Hearts themed attraction at the Walt Disney World resort, if not period. Not only is the park due for major refurbishments soon (Guardians and Ratatouille being the start of that) but the park also has two locations it could work. Future World, using the same excuses as Guardians and making a Gummi Ship explorations attractions, something in Innoventions perhaps, putting the empty space to good use, or in the Japan Pavilion as an attraction. Personally I’m not the biggest fan of this idea since I don’t really care for the direction Epcot seems to be going in and I’m very protective of the park, but I can accept it.

Disney Springs and the like: Unlikely as all get out but for once I’m literally going to let my bias come into play and concept: Cancel the stupid NBA experience and make Disney Quest 2.0 with a heavy focus on Disney’s video game related properties such as Wreck it Ralph, Disney Infinity, Epic Mickey, and Kingdom Hearts. It’d be so much better of an idea and can you tell I’m still salty about Disney Quest being torn down?

Anyways, basically it’s going to be in one of the main parks (Disneyland/Magic Kingdom/Disneyland Paris/Tokyo Disneyland) or it will be in Epcot due to openings, announcements, and theming.

So that being said, what can we expect from this? In truth um...not as much as you’re thinking.

As much as I’d love to go blasting the drums and screaming for a whole Kingdom Hearts theme area, not a lot of things get the same treatment that Star Wars and Pandora got. And trust me, considering my opinions on those franchises I would much rather KH get that attention. If I’m honest, I hesitate to even propose the idea that Kingdom Hearts should get a ride.

Looking at the ride types, the only attraction the ride could feasibly get would be a coaster, a dark ride, or a screen ride. A dark ride is immediately out of the question imho due to the story of KH being impossible to do anything with in that format. A screen ride, while doable, is a gamble since they can run the gambit of really good (Star Tours and Flight of Passage) or really bad (Jimmy Fallon at Universal Studios is the worst ride I have ever been on) and runs the risk of being underwhelming, since it could be simply a sit down show. Which would then bring the problem of these rides are meant to be enjoyable for non fans too, or else it would be shut down. A coaster would be the easiest to implement and most likely to succeed since nobody has to know the theme to enjoy a good coaster, so I could see them doing that, but coasters require a decently large amount of space to build, especially when compared to a screen ride, which creates its own problems.

So what do I think KH will likely see? Well for one: Merchandise. Even if they don’t make a cooperative effort into a ride or attraction, KH might still have a presence in the gift shops like Magic Kingdom’s Emporium as time goes on, or even simply a new pin available at Pintraders. The game is huge and people care. So some merchandise coming from Disney milking the cash cow is inevitable. You might also see some small shout outs such as changing a store name or a restaurant name to feature Sora and co. Hell maybe even a new one will be built as part of promotion. Or we’ll get new costumes for Sora this time around.

However, I think what will most likely be seen is a new game sort of thing. Similar to how Magic Kingdom has Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom and Epcot had the Kim Possible and, later, the Phineas and Ferb missions, an interactive game could be an easy fit for the series. Similar to how Sorcerer’s of the Magic Kingdom allows players to fight eight iconic Disney villains, a game like this could easily have players aid Sora, Donald, and Goofy as they take on Heartless and iconic Disney villains around the parks. It doesn’t require extensive knowledge of the series and a final showdown with Xehanort or even an entirely original villain or Maleficent herself could make for a fun way to kill the day. It’d keep in the spirit of KH and not distance it too far from Disney properties. It could also end up similar to VOID, the new Star Wars laser tag experience at Disney Springs, and focus in on the Keyblade War instead and have vr whacking people with stuff. Is it what I want...well no. I’d actually really like a VR coaster for this, but I think it’s a safe bet and gives them the ability to update either Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom or the Phineas and Ferb world showcase adventure, both of which haven’t had changes in a very long time. It also puts KH in a position where if the attraction doesn’t do well it doesn’t feel like a huge waste of investment and allows Square and Disney both to test the waters to open up the gates to a more grand Kingdom Hearts attraction.

Anyways, that’s my two cents. Really I’ll be happy with any representation at the parks since for years all we’ve had is a Sora shirt, sweatshirt, three Disney pins, and a hidden poster at Epcot, but who knows, maybe we could see something a little bit more at long last along the horizon.

[lawchan89]

Hello, first I wanted to say that I really adore your Monarchs of Mewni series. I especially love going back and rereading Triads and Tribulations. I never really gave Tom and Janna being together any thought but, you and Reagan make it really enjoyable and they were golden in that installment. I was just wondering if, as Pandora is learning her magic and developing her spells, does her magic/spells have any sorta of theme and how would you describe it?

Oh and this doesn’t correlate much with my last question but I was also wondering if you you plan on, or would ever plan on an installment where Pandora and Lily are the kinda front and center? I don’t really know much about their friendship but I am really interested in it.

Well first off, thank you so much! Reagan (@starbutterfly-diaz) and I worked super hard on Triads and Tribulations, so we’re so glad people have responded so positively to it. Tom and Janna are one of those pairings where your initial thought is “Really? Those two?” But then when you really stop and think about it, it makes total sense. To me, at least.

It’s hard to pinpoint a specific theme or pattern to Pandora’s magic, because she dabbles in pretty much everything. She’s the type who reads the Book Of Spells from cover to cover, trying to master as much as she possibly can. Maybe it’s due to a drive to prove herself to others, or an outlet to fight off insecurities and doubts in her own mind and heart. Perhaps it’s a bit of both. Not only does she have this prophecy hanging over her head, but she’s a late magic bloomer due to her being only half-Mewman. Because of all of this, she’s so determined to push herself harder and harder that she is ultimately dubbed “Pandora the Restless.”

But I would say that when she does achieve some semblance of peace within herself, her magic has a quiet grace and dignity, not unlike her late grandmother Moon the Undaunted. In every day magic, anyway. In battle? She’s able to stand equally beside her mother’s power easily, for like Star, her emotions overtake her spell-casting when she’s angry or grieved. While not as explosive as Star’s, Pandora has this darkness in her that makes the Butterflys’ enemies fear her once she’s old enough to join her parents on the battlefield.

I would love to eventually do a story where Pandora and Lily are at the forefront, but as the series is called Monarchs of Mewni and I have only just now begun really developing Pandora’s older years as a young queen, it might be a little while before that happens. The girls have literally grown up together and are very much like sisters, which of course comes with all the good and bad territory of having a close sibling, so that is generally the gist of their friendship.

There are so many facts about them I have come up with that I haven’t been able to put into story format yet, which is why I’m working on character pages for each of them that I’ll post on my sublog. So keep an eye out for those soon!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi! This isn’t sherlock related, but I’m like really insecure about my writing even though other people seem to enjoy it and I find myself starting pieces and never finishing them bc I end up laughing at how ridiculous they sound, but I want to finish a long fic for once, and I just don’t know how?? :(( I’m also a pretty big perfectionist and always try to craft the perfect sentences and snippets of dialogue and perfect plot and get really frustrated when I can’t. I have no idea what to do😢😣

Hi Nonny!

Oh wow, do I ever feel you here on this; I too have SO MANY IDEAS for long stories, and a tonne of snippets written but no idea how to put them into a full cohesive story. I am also a perfectionist as well, so yeah, I feel you so hard on this.

My advice: Just let go and write whatever comes to mind. Seriously, just keep writing, and go back to it later. I know other people plot out their writing and such, and maybe that might be the way for you to do it and it may help with your perfectionist tendencies, but for me, I’ve always found if I just write, start to finish, without editing, and then going back and adding and removing content as I do various “drafts”, it’s always seemed to flow better for me, since this way I don’t forget to add something I really wanted to write.

It’s not the best way, but it’s the way that works for me. 

And you know what? If all you can think of is little scenes, or smaller fics, who cares? I LOVE “slice of life” fics, where we just see a scene of an event of what’s happening! I find writing these types of fics really helps my creativity, and sometimes they’re just all you really need to write. Don’t think of yourself any less an author just because you find you can’t write a “full fic”, Lovely. Honestly, you’re still an author if you write short prose and poetry, right? And still a writer if you write news articles, right? Or a scribe if you write a 200 word children’s book, correct? There’s no such thing as “the best word count”; there is “an audience who loves to read content, and a writer who loves to write”.

Stop being so hard on yourself, Lovely. Some of our best work happens if we just let go and don’t think too hard about it. I’m not saying to stop being a perfectionist, but we perfectionists are often harder on ourselves than any audience ever would be. And writing should be ENJOYABLE, not a chore, and honestly, if you’re finding you are getting frustrated, put it away, and come back to it later. Go out for a walk, and compose in your head; I do that ALL THE TIME, and make sure I always have a “Notepad” app open on my phone so I can jot down ideas and phrases quickly so I don’t forget them. It’s amazing what a walk will do, honestly. Also – and this sounds cheesy – but video game or movie soundtracks and “epic music” (search on youtube) help me write as well; they make you feel like you can take over the goddamned world, and depending upon what genre you write, they can help immerse you into the world you’re writing! Some of my faves: Skyrim Soundtrack, Tron Legacy Soundtrack, Lost Eden Soundtrack, Sherlock Soundtracks, Kingdom Hearts Complete Soundtrack, The Hobbit Soundtrack, and anything compiled by Pandora Journey OR “30 minute” edits of my favourite songs from video games (I LOVE these so much, and they’re very common on youtube. Just search “[[song name]] 30 minutes”). Seriously, nothing makes you feel more creative than having an epic soundtrack make you feel like a writing god!

But anyway, Lovely, don’t feel like you HAVE to write a long story; forcing yourself to do it will only make it NOT happen. Keep writing your snippets; for all you know, one of those will turn into a fully fleshed-out story!

If you’re still having a hard time, I found this amazing resource for writers, so maybe something on there may help you out (I have pics of Ben C, good music, and good food :D) to also be very rewarding as you write as well :)

I’m open to any authors sharing their tricks to help them cope with writer’s block!

[irinapaleolog]

How the Devil Became a Dreamboat: Exploring the Byronic Hero with Kylo Ren

As it turns out, the popular problematic favorite and the OG problematic favorite are basically the same person.

Welcome to Elements of Story, a biweekly column about narrative tropes, what they mean, and why they just won’t go away.

For the inaugural installment of Elements of Story, and just in time for Valentine’s day, I’m going to dissect an archetype that has been causing a stir and setting hearts aflutter for centuries: the Byronic hero. 

Definitions of the Byronic hero vary by source, but the basic gist is that he’s an arrogant yet emotionally sensitive rebel who rages against societal norms, is usually haunted by a dark and mysterious past, and has been a staple of romantic storylines for hundreds of years. You could literally write a book about the history of the Byronic Hero—indeed, multiple people already have—so for the sake of concision and also my continued sanity, we’re going to investigate the Byronic hero through the specific example of one of his most recent appearances: Kylo Ren (Adam Driver). 

Ever since The Force Awakens first premiered, Darth Vader’s grandson and #1 fan has been a point of contention within the Star Wars fandom, particularly with regards to his dynamic with protagonist Rey (Daisy Ridley). While things have calmed down somewhat following the underwhelming finale that was The Rise of Skywalker, if you want to start a fight online about a galaxy far, far away, mention “Reylo” and see what happens. 

One of the most genuinely befuddling things about the discourse surrounding Reylo is the frequently held opinion that its allure is anyway inexplicable or unforeseeable. Similarly, the common, lazy narrative that its popularity can be explained away as Adam Driver’s thirst-club projecting their desire onto the Star Wars universe reeks of ignorance. Whether borne of conscious intent or sheer coincidence, Kylo Ren is a villain who also fits a centuries-old romantic archetype like a glove in ways that are hinted towards in The Force Awakens and laid increasingly bare in each subsequent installment. That some viewers picked up on the Byronic subtext early while others did not simply speaks to the variance in media consumption habits and tastes between audience members. If you’re familiar with an archetype, you’re going to spot its likeness, and view said likeness through the lens of the implications baked in with that lineage. If you’re not, you won’t. 

So, who is this Byronic Hero guy, anyway? Well, the tl;dr version is that he’s basically Satan and his origins predate Lord Byron by at least a few hundred years. 

In truth, the Byronic Hero is so old that tracing his origins gets quite speculative. There’s not a singular definitive answer so much as a collection of theories. To give a relatively cohesive explanation of who this guy is and how he got here without writing a novel, I’m going to things down into two key questions: 

What makes the Byronic hero satanic?

How did Satan become romanticized? 

To address the first question, let’s start by talking about the Devil. I’m not going to say that John Milton was the first storyteller to make Satan cool, but he sure did make such a characterization mainstream with Paradise Lost. The most beautiful of God’s angels, Lucifer chafes at God’s omnipotence, convinces a number of his brethren to join him in a rebellion that ultimately fails, is banished to Hell and eternally damned, but stubbornly stands by his choices because, “better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven.” Milton’s Satan was, to use modern parlance, a beautiful trash fire—a handsome, passionate dreamer whose quick-tempered fervor proves self-destructive in spite of his considerable intellect.  He is, in other words, smart enough to know that his hubris will be his downfall, but too in thrall to his passions for that knowledge to save himself from such a fate. He is a tragic hero as defined by Aristotle, an inherently sympathetic figure not as much in spite of his flaws as because of them. 

not as much in spite of his flaws as because of them. 

Let’s stop for a second so I can convince you Kylo Ren fits this pattern, in case you aren’t convinced already. With his journey from Ben “too much Vader in him” Solo to Kylo Ren, his rejection of his heritage and violent rebellion against Luke Skywalker, he follows the same basic trajectory of Milton’s Lucifer. And as far as personality is concerned, Ben didn’t gel well with the “there is no passion” Jedi code, and unlike Anakin Skywalker, it didn’t even take the development of a particular relationship for things to reach a breaking point. 

Now, as far as how Satan became a romantic figure, we need to make a stopover with the Romantics because the journey from Romantic to romantic is really just semantics. Romanticism was a prominent intellectual and artistic movement in Western culture that took place in the late 18th and 19th centuries and encompassed everything from literature and painting to architecture and music. It emphasized emotion, spontaneity, irrationality, and the individual with a particular focus on subjectivity, and is generally regarded as a reactionary movement—a rebuttal against the rationalism that defined the Enlightenment.

Romantics loved Milton’s Satan. “My favorite hero, Milton’s Satan,” Robert Burns gushed, lauding Satan’s “intrepid, unyielding independence,” “desperate daring,” and “noble defiance of hardship.” That Byron, one of his contemporaries, would channel his admiration for the same figure into a series of mercurial protagonists that would codify an archetype is hardly surprising. While crediting Byron with inventing the Byronic hero is a significant stretch considering the archetype is really just Satan rebranded, there is one key component of this character that Byron did add to the equation, and that is a particular kind of longing that a number of commentators have likened to homesickness. “Love is homesickness,” Sigmund Freud wrote in his seminal essay on the Uncanny. In terms of understanding the human mind, Freud is one small step above total quack, but as far as narrative theory is concerned he made some compelling arguments, this being one of them. As Deborah Lutz says in her essay “Love as Homesickness: Longing for a Transcendental Home in Byron and the Dangerous Lover Narrative,” “the Byronic hero often[…] is a criminal, an outlaw who is not only self-exiled, but actively, hatefully, works against society as a murderous pirate,” yet also often feels, “pains of remorse, not only for his crime but also for his self-inflicted homelessness.” Kylo Ren, with his laments of “I’m being torn apart,” and “let the past die, kill it if you have to” rhetoric interspersed with explosive bouts of self-loathing, could not be more emblematic of this facet of the Byronic hero if he tried. 

All of this helps explain what makes this archetype emotionally engaging, but not how “self-hating emotional clusterfuck” became sexy. In order to get to the bottom of that, we actually need to go back quite a bit. In Western culture, sexuality, death, and evil have been birds of a feather since the nascence of Christianity, which took vague correlations between these concepts already present in several Greek mythological figures and ran with them. While the Devil is often depicted as a hideous beast, the concept that he might also take the form of a man—specifically, an attractive one—dates back centuries (Lucifer was the prettiest, remember), and is apparent in a number of surviving records of witch trial confessions detailing demonic encounters. But taking on a handsome face is not the only attribute frequently bestowed upon Satan and his kin. As Toni Reed writes in her book Demon Lovers and their Victims in British Fiction, “identifying Satan and other demons with sexuality, especially with huge phalluses, may well trace back to Greek mythology.”

That’s right. Satan has serious BDE. Do with that information what you will.

It’s worth noting that the Byronic hero is ultimately a beloved romantic fantasy not because it represents something many people want in real life, but precisely the opposite, much like0 how enjoying seeing the lions at the zoo doesn’t mean you want one in your house. He’s a darkly tempting, narratively intriguing prospect that is enjoyable to experience vicariously through fiction, a Pandora’s box that can be opened and then closed again without repercussion. Times and tastes change and the Byronic hero evolves to suit them—devil, tempestuous gentleman, wannabe Sith—but his defining characteristics and their guilty pleasure appeal are eternal.