#anyway look I love these dumb children and I love fusions and this was | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

antebunny · 3 years ago

Text

April 25: ribbons

A Swan Maiden Fairy Tale Fusion

Lan Wangji is a huntsman who happens upon a pond in the woods. He sees this epic coat thing made from raven feathers on the banks and goes “wow this is so cool and so pretty i should give it to my brother” and picks it up. Then he sees this guy on the shore and freaks out wondering if he’s dead, but he’s not, he’s just unconscious & naked. So Lan Wangji wraps him up and brings him home, because he’s nice. Then the guy wakes up, introduces himself as “wei ying, courtesy wuxian”, sees the feather cloak and says “nice…cloak you got there”

“it is a gift for my brother”

“ah. Right…when’s ur brother getting here?”

“i will visit him when the snow melts”

“k. Cool. guess im staying here until then”

“can you not go home?”

Wei Wuxian eyes crinkle like he’s sharing a private joke: “Not until the snow melts”

Lan Wangji is a good host and doesn’t know how he feels about this guy just declaring that he’ll live with him for the next several months but…okay.

Lan Wangji finds out very quickly that Wei Wuxian isn’t normal, and it doesn't take him long after that to guess that Wei Wuxian also isn’t entirely human. He’s a very bad houseguest, he just sits, doesn’t know how to cook or anything really, and talks at Lan Wangji while Lan Wangji makes them breakfast. He follows Lan Wangji everywhere he goes with no explanation, just invites himself along. He talks while Lan Wangji is trying to hunt but somehow that doesn’t scare away the game. He flinched the first time Lan Wangji’s arrow found a mark, and insisted on honoring the fallen bird before returning. He passes time whistling and carves himself a flute, they play duets and Lan Wangji finds himself composing something on his guqin in the early morning while Wei Wuxian is still asleep on the floor. Wei Wuxian introduces him to spice, which he hates, but watching Wei Wuxian’s face light up isn’t something he thinks he can ever get tired of.

Wei Wuxian talks a lot about his home and his family, which is apparently a port by a river delta, which is how Lan Wangji learns that Wei Wuxian a very good swimmer, like everyone else there, and that he and his brother are constantly pushing each other in the lake, that he goes out to the pier to drink at night, that he has the best big sister who makes lotus and pork rib soup and stops Wei Wuxian from fighting with his brother, who is an angery smol one but also the best little brother ever (how this is possible, Lan Wangji doesn’t know, it’s clear Wei Wuxian loves his brother even if he spends most of the time making fun of him)

Lan Wangji doesn’t understand why Wei Wuxian can’t return to this home he’s heard so much about, doesn’t know why he found Wei Wuxian abandoned & naked by the side of the pond, but decides that Wei Wuxian is magic and it’s a magic pond, and if his family would leave him in that state, they don’t deserve him. He works up the courage to ask “wei ying. When the snow melts. Stay with me.” and Wei Wuxian is Conflicted bc he likes Lan Wangji and would like to stay but hates that he has to and maybe won’t see his family ever again. In the end all he says is “okay” and Lan Wangji is Very Happy. He also sees Wei Wuxian eyeing the feather cloak often but he already said he’d give it to his brother and doesn’t know how to offer it to Wei Wuxian. But then Wei Wuxian says “guess you’re not giving it to your brother now” which is basically how Lan Wangji thinks Wei Wuxian asks for things so he just nods vaguely.

Wei Wuxian guesses pretty early that Lan Wangji doesn’t know the full extent of what he’s done, and he clearly doesn’t know who Wei Wuxian is, but that’s not surprising. He decides not to tell him, because why would he? On the off-chance that Lan Wangji will just...give it back to him? Wei Wuxian has heard the Swan Maiden tale, he's has seen the worst parts of humanity; he can’t trust that.

It’s been raining a lot recently, which means Lan Wangji has less opportunity to hunt, and it’s harder to hunt after rain. He goes to the nearest town to trade when his supplies get too low (Wei Wuxian comes with obviously) and there the gossip is that some villagers swear up and down that they saw purple lightning (Wei Wuxian isn’t surprised, just sighs and says “of course”) which means that Sandu Shengshou is angry! And that the Lady of Lotus Blossoms, who usually blesses typical goddess things like matchmaking and fertility/childbirth, has 1) stopped and 2) started leaving white lotus blossoms behind, which means that she’s mourning which is sad and terrible! (Wei Wuxian agrees that her being sad is terrible and gets misty-eyed. Lan Wangji wasn’t aware that Wei Wuxian held her in such high regard).

In town, Wei Wuxian gets Lan Wangji better deals, flirts with some girls which makes Lan Wangji sad for unknown reasons, gets harassed by some guys which is how Lan Wangji confirms that Wei Wuxian is not human/magic bc in the dark & rainy night his eyes looked red and his teeth in the moonlight looked too long and too sharp, and no one heard from Wen Chao again. Lan Wangji also buys him clothes

The snow melts. Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian set off to visit Lan Xichen. Wei Wuxian isn’t wearing the cloak and Lan Wangji doesn’t understand why? But doesn’t ask because he never does. They get to the lake where Lan Wangji found Wei Wuxian and wait for Lan Xichen to meet them there, meanwhile Wei Wuxian hisses at a peacock and talks to a sparrow (Lan Wangji doesn’t question it. He never does), then Lan Xichen arrives and at the same time purple lightning flashes and a young man descends from the sky dressed in rich purple silks followed by a lady dressed in lavender and rose pink. they’re easily recognizable as Sandu Shengshou, the Lord of the heavenly Lotus Pier, and the Lady of Lotus Blossoms, his sister and the Lady of Lotus Pier. Lan Xichen is like “wangji wtf is going on” meanwhile Jiang Cheng accuses Lan Wangji of kidnapping his brother, and Jiang Yanli is like “we’re willing to bargain for our brother back. what do you want?”

Lan Wangji: "If he’s ur brother why did you abANDON him"

Jiang Cheng: "how DARE we’ve been searching for him for MONTHS ever since you TOOK him"

"i found him abandoned so i took him home to PROTECT him"

"that’s a fancy way of saying you decided to keep him like an exotic pet"

"i did no such thing"

"then why did you keep that!?" Jiang Cheng points at the feather cloak and everyone looks

Lan Xichen: "oh no"

Lan Wangji: "what"

Lan Xichen: "wangji. the swan maiden"

Lan Wangji: *remembers the story about the swan maiden who left her swan feathers by the side of the pond while she bathed and the huntsman who took her feathers and thus took her, forced her to marry him and bear him three children, before she found her feathers, after which she yeeted outta there with her three children and never left the heavens again, leaving huntsman to die of a broken heart.*

Lan Wangji hadn’t even considered it, maybe because Wei Wuxian was sleeping and therefore didn’t beg for the feather cloak back, maybe bc he made a weak joke instead of flat-out asking Lan Wangji what he planned to do, maybe because his wasn’t pure and white but rather made of raven feathers and pitch black

Also Wei Wuxian got roaring drunk that’s how he ended up there. Jiang Cheng is like “just bc my brother is the stupidest dumb person to ever idiot–” “hey!” “does not mean you can just taKE ADVANTAGE of him”

Anyway Lan Wangji freaks tf out and practically throws the feather cloak back at Wei Wuxian, who hasn’t been meeting his eyes and not saying anything this whole time and tries to apologize. Jiang Yanli grabs it and her brother and walks into the lake, pink and cream lotus blossoms blooming under her feet; she doesn’t sink under the surface. She stands in the middle and they both go under. Then Wei Wuxian arises in his full black-and-red glory, Jiang Cheng shoots Lan Wangji one last glare and then the three of them promptly disappear into the heavens

Lan Xichen holds Lan Wangji for the first time in years while he cries. He stutters his way through an explanation of what happened the past three months, saying again and again that he didn’t know, he noticed that Wei Wuxian wasn’t human and a little bit magic but he didn’t expect this and he didn’t realize that he was preventing Wei Wuxian from leaving. Lan Xichen says things like “i believe you” and “you’re not a terrible person, you just made a terrible mistake”

Eventually Lan Wangji stops hyperventilating, and that’s when a flock of crows leaves their roosts, the wind shrieks, and Wei Wuxian descends again. Lan Wangji doesn’t understand how Wei Wuxian could possibly forgive him, or how someone like Wei Wuxian could possibly take interest in a lonely huntsman like Lan Wangji, but Wei Wuxian holds his hand out and says that he promised to take Lan Wangji on a tour of his home (lotus pier!!), and his eyes do that thing and he says “well? Are you coming?” and how can Lan Wangji say no?

#antebunny's april prompts #spring fest 2021 #mdzs #wangxian #fairy tale au #fic outline #if you ask what this has to do with ribbons i will Smite you

51 notes · View notes

thanksjro · 4 years ago

Text

Dark Cybertron Chapter 12: That’s the Power of Love, Babeyyyyy

Thank fucking god, it’s almost over.

Our issue opens up with Ironhide deadnaming Slug, like the out-of-touch grandpa that he is. Everything is going to shit, the whole city’s covered in lasers like the world’s worst rave, and someone thought it was a good idea to let Swerve have a gun.

As the Ammonites try to murder everyone in sight, Whirl and Arcee have a little chat about how Whirl’s seemingly caused every problem ever in the last four million years.

…Whirl, you have been keeping up with your appointments with Rung, right? Like, I know he’s not the best therapist around by any stretch of the imagination, but surely something would be better than nothing in this case.

On the Lost Light, Hound, Perceptor, and Mainframe are keeping track of how many Ammonites have been killed. Everyone is extra British in this bit. Perceptor basically calls Hound a fucking idiot, because even with all the guys who’ve been taken out, there are still literally BILLIONS of these suckers running around.

Which seems a little overkill to me, but what do I know? Warcrimes aren’t my specialty.

Meanwhile, in the Mystical City of Making Science Cry, Starscream apparently knows what cosplay is, and takes a potshot at Jhiaxus for stealing his look. Metalhawk explains how the Ammonites got here in the first place, which, y’know, is cool. Love me some technobabble exposition.

I don’t actually love it.

I’m sorry for lying.

I WOULD ALSO LIKE FOR METALHAWK TO PUT A STOP TO THIS

BUT WE’VE GOT ANOTHER 19 PAGES TO GO

SO I GUESS LIFE JUST ISN’T FUCKING FAIR RATTRAP

While Metalhawk contemplates ending the comic event early, Starscream is getting his ass kicked by an old man who spent the war sitting on his butt in the Dead Universe.

Over with Team -Imus, Brainstorm’s taking a breather after getting Robertsed at the end of last issue. Ultra Magnus makes a pun, I guess to cope with the fact that he doesn’t understand anything that’s going on. Cyclonus is still dying, but this isn’t about him. Nightbeat is also dying. Oh, and Kup. Turns out, being a part of the Dead Universe is sort of an issue when you’re out of it.

Even though Galvatron was fine. And Jhiaxus. And Nova Prime, for the little bit he was out of it.

I feel like this plot point kinda just shows up when it’s convenient.

Anyway.

Brainstorm has shit in his lab that can help them not die, but he and Skids are gonna need help to get all these undead morons back to the Lost Light, which means that only two folks would be going to face Shockwave in this final confrontation.

Speaking of Shockwave, he’s gone full Burning Justice with that time drive shoved into his chest, as he makes fun of Megatron for being a dumb stupid idiot who gave him everything he needed to end the universe. He reveals himself to be a nihilist, claiming that a Cybertron which only exists for existence’s sake- and without any form of life- is the ultimate in perfection. Also, he’s a communist now. A nihilistic communist.

Just… whatever, Shockwave.

Megatron’s annoyed by all this posturing- which, same- but enough about him, it’s time for Ultra Magnus and Optimus Prime drop down from… somewhere… to kick some ass. Shockwave promptly shoots Magnus, and is about to do the same to Optimus, when this starts happening:

Huh. Wonder what all that’s about.

Shockwave snaps out of his stupor and proceeds to fire on Optimus, yelling about being the only thing that exists as he does.

Over with Rodimus and friends, Cyclonus is bitching about Rodimus not leaving him behind so he could go fight Shockwave. Nightbeat, who I guess just doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut, tells Cyclonus to quit it, because they all know that he just misses his boyfriend. Cyclonus, though blatantly annoyed, doesn’t actually refute this claim. Brainstorm wonders aloud just how this gaggle of assholes managed to escape the Dead Universe without murdering each other.

Rodimus explains that when they heard the singing at Swerve’s, it proved they could still get out of the Dead Universe, so they desecrated Nova Prime’s corpse to make a space bridge. Brainstorm became a doorway, because he’s very nearly dead, and oh yeah, he should probably fix that when they get back to the lab, and also reconsider his lab safety protocols.

The gang reaches the outside world, and Rodimus is given a chance to spout off his personal philosophies.

Fantastic, you funky little man.

Then everyone looks up in the sky and sees some real bullshit.

Hey, Cahill? I just wanna talk, man. Just wanna talk about this boobie Windblade you’ve cursed my eyes with.

Back over with Jhiaxus and Starscream, Jhiaxus just cannot shut up. He just keeps waxing poetic about how smart Shockwave’s plan is. I couldn’t even tell you what the guy’s saying- my eyes glaze over whenever he gets a speech bubble.

Metalhawk at this point has had quite enough of all this nonsense, and decides he’s gonna throw himself into the equation that allows the Dark Cybertron prophecy to manifest.

By killing himself.

He just fuckin’… tosses himself into some heavy machinery and explodes, and that throws all the ores out of wack, since he’s got the Resurrection Ore in him. Jhiaxus is distracted by a man just straight-up dying in the same room as him, and this give Starscream the opening he needs to stab Jhiaxus in the gut.

Then the background just straight up disappears, as Rattrap lets everyone know that it’s all still going to shit, but in the opposite direction.

Really not sure about this art direction, but whatever. I’m over it.

Back outside, all the Ammonites are exploding. All of them. Billions of the little suckers, just popping off like fire crackers. The environment’s going to be ruined at this rate. Metroplex is having a great fucking time. Happy for him.

The Lost Light calls the ladies inside Metroplex’s brain room, and lets them know that they’re gonna break up Monstructor like the mediocre boy-band he is, though not without Mainframe being difficult beforehand. The ladies jump out and enter the fray, admiring Arcee’s style as they do.

Back with Rodimus and pals, Nightbeat’s being fucking cryptic, and Brainstorm gets to work making it so folks aren’t dying from being in the wrong universe, after a little prodding to his ego.

Back in Shockwave’s Super Saiyan Energy Bubble of Pure Unadulterated Logic, Shockwave says that’s he’s fucking ripped, and Optimus couldn’t beat him in a fight. Clearly, this means we’ll have to use our words to resolve this, like adults. Optimus isn’t too sure about that option, however.

I mean, do I even have to- Optimus, that’s GAY.

I have the sneaking suspicion that Roberts wrote this portion of the script. Y’know, just given his track record.

Then Megatron blasts Shockwave with his fusion cannon, and makes fun of Optimus for being a sentimental fool.

The fact that “Dark Cybertron” is telling me this makes me so mad. Like, you don’t get to talk, Exposition Central.

It’s at this point that Megatron drops a bomb on everyone present- he’s done with being a Decepticon. He’s gonna be an Autobot now.

See, ol’ Megsy here has seen the error of his ways- that by fighting the Senate, he allowed them to change him into a murderous warlord. To prove how much of a nice guy he is, he’s ripped the Autobrand off of Bumblebee’s lifeless body and duct-taped it to his chest.

Which seems a tad disrespectful, but okay.

…Megatron, you do realize that, as the leader of the Decepticons, you could just tell everyone that they need to be nice, and that would more or less be the end of it, right? You could just say “not evil anymore, I want to be loved now”, and everyone would be all “sir yes sir.” This is going to be a PR nightmare, I can already tell. Shockwave certainly seems to agree with me.

I really like this panel structure. Want to say this is the only place it happens, too. It’s just too bad it lives in “Dark Cybertron”.

Shockwave’s not having a good time right now, and he’s convinced that Optimus and Megatron have teamed up just to make him upset so he loses control of the time drive. The two spout off a little Autobot propaganda, and then Shockwave Remembers™.

Shockwave, having had his shadowplay reverse violently and abruptly, is horrified to find what he’s become. Alas, it’s too late for him- the only way to stop the time drive is for Optimus to kill him. Optimus promises to remember who Shockwave was- a callback to the line Shockwave gave him back before his empurata- and then shoots the everloving fuck out of the guy. Megatron helps.

And that’s a series wrap on Shoc-

-holy fucking shit.

The gang high-tails it outta there, IDW Optimus once again proving to be the shittiest version of everyone’s space-dad, as he leaves Bumblebee’s body to be consumed by the Shockwave Singularity. It’s looking pretty hopeless, but luckily none of these bastards can die without fucking up Season 2 of MTMTE, so the Lost Light swoops in to save the day.

Down below, Soundwave and his gaggle of small children and animals watch as the Lost Light fucks off into the distance. Soundwave’s having a time and a half, as he realizes with his balls-to-the-wall senses that Megatron’s joined the Autobots. Galvatron shows up to try to work out a deal. We won’t be seeing where this goes, because that’ll be covered later on.

The Lost Light lands in front of Metroplex, and over to the left of that are Rattrap and Starscream, climbing over the wreckage of the city. Rattrap tries to warn Starscream that things are gonna be tough, now that the Dark Cybertron prophecy has come to pass, but Starscream isn’t really having it. He’s gotten very paranoid, likely due to stress, and tells Rattrap to not play this game, because he’s the best player who’s ever lived. Then the Lost Light gang shows up and we get this face:

Sure.

Later on, Megatron and Optimus are hanging out in the Sky Roller, not-talking, until Megatron tells Optimus to get on with it, since the issue’s about to end. Megatron was totally serious about becoming an Autobot. Optimus isn’t really sure what to do with that. I don’t think anyone’s really sure what to do with that, to be honest.

Megatron, in turn, asks Optimus if he really could look past all the bullshit Shockwave pulled in the last several million years, and he gets a non-answer, because addressing your feelings is for losers, clearly. The two exit the ship, and I guess everyone else was just… standing outside waiting for them to talk it out. Weird.

...And with THAT, I am finally released from Comic Event Hell!

If you hear any distant, triumphant screeching right now, that’s likely me.

#transformers #jro #dark cybertron #issue 12 #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post #comic script writing

56 notes · View notes

ksyescribe · 4 years ago

Text

The Boys™ Speaking A Foreign Language (HQ Edition)

Featuring: Oikawa, Osamu, & Ushijima

Warnings: Some slight manga spoilers!

A/N: This headcanon is centered around these bbs speaking Spanish but I think they can really be applied to any language! I hope you guys enjoy! Also thank you @cttnclouds for the Osamu fusion idea you’re literally an angel and i love you.

Oikawa Tōru

Why he learned:

He moved to Argentina. It’s either learn or get really got at using hand signals.

Learning Process:

Honestly? Probably tried the whole DuoLingo thing the first few weeks after he got the okay to move to Argentina. But after a while he burnt out.

He probably got up to like the introductory phrases and then fell off. Probably because he had to deal with all the logistical stuff that comes with moving.

(Someone help him cause he literally thought moving would be an easy one two three job :’) Iwa-chan help!)

The next time he remembers that he’s literally going to a new country with a new language is like a month before he moves.

He’s shopping with Iwaizumi for some new clothes and stuff when Iwaizumi just goes “So how’s your Spanish coming along?

freeze frame, his face looks like this: (∩╹□╹∩)

Anyways he really like stress buys like three different Japanese books that he then FORGETS ABOUT for the rest of the month.

He reads them on the flight to Argentina. The only things he learned were how to ask for the time and directions.

Oh boy, Argentina’s going to be fun :’)

When he uses Spanish in front of you for the first time:

Right so, the first time you see him use his sorry excuse for Spanish is at the little corner coffee shop down the street

Of course everyone’s like eyeing him cause, why is a foreigner here in the hidden gem of the city? But also he’s kinda cute what?

Anyways, you’re minding your own business until you hear the heavily accented Spanish.

And pues, we’re all little chismosos so of course you pay attention to what he’s trying to do (order a coffee but he literally cant remember what the word for sugar is dear god someone help this man)

After cringing you step up with the translator app on your phone open and obviously help him out.

He’s a little impressed because: 1. Your Spanish is so smooth and flowy it sounds like you’re reciting poetry and 2. Why didn’t he think of the translator app tf??

So you get his order shoot it back to Sandra over the counter in fast Spanish and then order your own stuff before moving off to the side to wait for your coffee.

Oikawa might be an idiot right but he’s not going to pass up the opportunity to ask you to teach him Spanish??

I mean you’re cute, you’re obviously a local from the way you were greeting everyone inside the shop, and well, you’re the only person who’s tried to help him out so far and that means a lot to him.

For some odd reason you actually agree? You still don’t know what caused you to say yes. Probably the pitiful look he had when he told you he had to move cause of work and he knew nobody else here.

How you help him with learning/bettering his Spanish:

Honestly, he bitched a lot at the beginning but forcing him to only communicate in Spanish really helped him out.

So taking him on town trips and having him tell you about what he’s seen or what he wants to do in Spanish really helped him. Also having your friends come with is really fun cause he tries to teach them some Japanese words while they translate that into Spanish.

Also being immersed in the language is a big plus.

But I think the #1 thing that really helped him was watching novelas with you.

Like he wants to understand what Gabriela is yelling to Sofia about in real time not through the subtitles. (But damn Gabriela really slept with Sofia’s fiance? Wack, that man is not worth it hun)

You know his Spanish’s getting better when you walk into a completely new bread shop that the two of you are visiting and he just goes ahead and orders in fluent Spanish.

Leaves both you and the attendant in shock. But he just comes back and asks you in Spanish too, “Lo hice bien? No me trave verdad?”

The woman literally swoons from the whole encounter. He is now a danger to any woman within five miles of the vicinity. Gets all cocky about it.

Favorite Spanish Word: Alborotar - Disturb? That’s what google says but it’s more like mess up.

Miya Osamu

Why he learned:

Honestly? This Mexican-Japanese fusion place opened up and he just wants to talk to the chef about where he gets his ingredients from because this shit tastes amazing!!

Learning Process:

Went home the first night after eating at that restaurant and bought a year subscription for Rosetta Stone.

He’s kind of regretting it because like, maybe he should’ve gone with the monthly plan? Fuck he shouldn’t have gotten ahead of himself.

He tries to do an hour of the program a day minimum. There’s some days where the hour like drags on and other days where he’s so pumped that he does more than one hour.

His max was one day where it snowed so hard that nobody could go out so he spent like 10 hours doing Rosetta Stone.

He tried going to like one of the Brazilian stores around his house to try out his Spanish with them but was sorely disappointed to learn that Brazilians do not speak Spanish.

Still got some bomb ass brigadeiros though so who’s the real winner here huh?

Actually put up a craigslist ad for a Spanish partner.

It’s up for a whopping 5 minutes before he promptly deleted the ad.

Instead!! This man signs up for one of those international pen pal services and gets matched with someone fluent in Spanish (it’s you hello).

And it turns out said person is coming to Japan soon for a year abroad?? And they have a basic Japanese foundation?

Yeah dude he lucked out.

Out of all three boys, his alone learning goes pretty well. Gets a good foundation of Spanish.

When he uses Spanish in front of you for the first time:

This one’s so cute!! He actually does it sort of by accident?

He’s made friends with everyone at the fusion restaurant including the chef because he actually managed to hold a decent conversation in Spanish.

His brain just automatically switches to Spanish when he enters the restaurant.

So when you hear him bust out into a full fluent Spanish conversation with the waiter you kind of sit there like: (・о・)

This man even orders and asks you if you want to split a bottle of wine in Spanish.

You could only nod because holy shit.

Like yes you’ve heard him speak it over the discord calls before but in person?? That’s a whole nother story.

Specially because his pronunciation is so good?? And he has the right accent? It’s so smooth like it just flows naturally from him.

And he can actually roll the r’s god damn sir

How you help him with learning/bettering his Spanish:

So he has a pretty good grasp on the language which means he doesn’t need much help with learning.

But you can help expand his knowledge. Like teaching him about how in some countries/dialects things might be said differently. (Like how there’s 17 ways to say straw. Hondurans say pajilla and that’s all I knew for a bunch of years)

He’ll also need help with learning about a lot of food names. He only knows the basic names, not any special fruits or like combination dishes so that’ll be fun.

You actually start cooking new latin recipes every Saturday so he can familiarize himself with the cuisine.

Some ingredients are hard to come by but the adventure in finding them is so worth it.

His favorite recipe so far? Making Pollo con Tajadas from Honduras. The Bandeja Paisa from Colombia is a close second.

Favorite Spanish Word: Popote: Straw (in Mexico)

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Why he learned:

His last current concern is literally “he would like to work harder at studying languages”.

Fair, makes sense.

But instead of going with a familiar language he just says fuck it time to learn the latin alphabet with Spanish.

yeah okay why not

Learning Process:

Ushijima is more of a visual learner.

Which in it’s own makes sense. He’ll probably get a book that has like those floating numbers over items and it tells him what it’s called in Spanish right?

Wrong.

You know what he does?

This man. This 24 year old man. Goes home, opens up Netflix, and puts on... wait for it... DORA.

I kid you not!! Ushijima Wakatoshi will always begin learning a new language by watching children’s shows.

You know why?

Because he read an article a while back where it said that the best way to start learning languages is by watching children’s shows due to the fact that the shows are literally tailored to teach kids the language.

See what he did there? Y’all thought he was a big dumb dumb but in reality he’s a big smart smart.

Uh, anyways.

He will sit down to watch the children’s shows with a notebook. He takes very good notes, has a Japanese translation for everything.

His show watch list: Dora la Exploradora, Plaza Sesamo, Maya Y Miguel, Go Diego Go, and Handy Manny.

The crazy thing? It actually works. He literally gets his Spanish base from these shows.

Crazier thing? HE LITERALLY PICKS UP THE CORRECT ACCENTS.

I kid you not bro, he literally somehow managed to sound like a FLUENT speaker. I-

But from there he picks up some more books and audio files to try and increase the complexity of his knowledge.

He’s the best speaker out of the three.

When he uses Spanish in front of you for the first time:

Honestly? He’s been looking for a Spanish partner for a while and he genuinely doesn’t know how to go about it.

One day though, he overhears you on the phone with your mom.

He’s seen you before. You’re one of the girls working under the main manager and you’re actually really helpful. If he remembers correctly, you’re the only co-manager that can wrap the compression sleeves just how he likes them.

Anyways, not uh, important.

He’s not one to eavesdrop but, well you’re in the equipment room and he needs to grab one thing. Just a quick in and out. He’ll even turn off his ears.

But then you start speaking like fluent Spanish? And suddenly his ears are very active.

He doesn’t harass you while you’re on your call. Instead he waits until after practice.

Then he just comes up to you and goes, “Perdóname por molestarte pero, estabas platicándo en Español anterior?”

Kind just sat there like: ◉‿◉ - (￣ー￣) - ⚈ ̫ ⚈

You can’t even speak, you’re still processing that he just spoke Spanish like a natural??? So you just nod.

He launches into a whole talk about how he’s been learning but he needs a speaking partner so that he can get better.

At some point during his whole speech you sit down because your brain IS NOT CATCHING UP.

In the end you agree to become his partner. He’s paying you in food how the hell can you say no?

How you help him with learning/bettering his Spanish:

Like I said before, he’s already good.

You mostly help broaden his knowledge about the culture from Spanish countries and their cultures. A lot of it is through food and the small glimpses of hispanic life from Japan.

Can’t really teach the customs and traditional stuff unless it’s in person.

You’re actually getting ready to go back home for your once a year family reunion when suddenly this man invites himself to your trip?????

I mean, it’s not a bad idea in the first place but then he offered to pay for your trip and well...

You’re kind of broke and he’s rich so it works alright?

God but going back home? Ultra boosts his spanish.

Not sure if it’s the atmosphere, your family, or just the fact that the country is now in a whole nother language, but this man just adapts.

It’s really uncanny.

While he’s here, your family teaches him a lot of Spanish idioms and phrases that don’t translate over well and he starts incorporating them into his every day usage.

Someone on the team got hurt and he literally walked over and rubbed their wrist and went “ Sana, sana, colita de rana. Si no sanas hoy, sanarás mañana.”

When you leave his apartment? “Te veo Mateo”

But he also gets to see how unique and beautiful the culture in your country is.

His favorite part of the trip? Probably your family’s land that’s just surrounded by nature.

He also really liked the traditional shops that the old ladies from the village ran. (They also liked him and pinched his cheeks and called him a big strong boy so maybe that has something to do with it.)

His favorite Spanish word: Topogigio (to-po-i-yo): In Honduras, frozen ice cream (? not really but don’t know how else to describe) that is typically sold in a small bag. Flavors: Fruit juice or traditional ice cream flavors.

105 notes · View notes

kinetic-elaboration · 3 years ago

Text

August 15: 2x03 The Paradise Syndrome

I have seen this episode once before and I remember it being pretty awful... but tbh, I didn’t think it was so bad this time around. Maybe that’s just because my expectations were, like, Spock’s-Brain low. It definitely had issues but there was stuff I liked too!

Hmmm, that’s not the bridge. It appears to be... California?

Wondering what people might be so “blessed by this environment”--what a manly he-man action/adventure guy thing to say, amirite?

How does Spock know the significant markers of all the Native American tribes at a distance, off the top of his head?

(Answer: he doesn’t; all of this information is wrong and also one of those tribes is completely made up lmao.)

Honestly, who’s to say these people aren’t advanced? How do YOU know?

“Just so peaceful... no command decisions.” Oh no, Jim’s feeling Romantic again.

Honestly, imagine this characterization in AOS: overworked starship captain think he wants a break (but is wrong). Beyond made a vague attempt but missed what it is that Kirk finds stressful about command--it’s not that it’s boring, it’s the weight of the responsibility and the inability to find love.

Although funnily enough, even on his Native American Vacation, he still finds himself in a command position. He just can’t be stopped. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself.

Oh no, the obelisk ate him.

Maybe these people specifically built the obelisk so that they could return to this idyllic ““primitive”“ state, hmm? Maybe they like their lives this way. Maybe they experienced "progress" and then decided that whatever era of their development looked like indigenous American peoples had it right. (This is not correct but it roughly is the plot of Errand of Mercy so I’m not without precedent.)

Spock’s using simple tools to explain his point to Bones lol. “Here, let me dumb it down for you, lesser man of science.”

“Who am I? What are these?” Cpine morning voice: “This must be a dream!”

Kirk looks so confused. The god from the obelisk.

“The engines are showing signs of stress.” Seems to me like SCOTTY’S showing signs of stress.

And yet the music is so whimsical.

Honestly Kirk’s expression here = Denny Crane’s when in a meeting

White man brings CPR, is hailed as god. (I wish I were making this up.)

Damn, Salish has been demoted. How embarrassing for him.

This is a VERY interesting Spock. He does all his calculations, but the he takes all the risks. He’s very certain and single-minded, almost obsessed, not afraid of anything. I think it’s IC but I also think you can see some Kirk influence, perhaps... You can see how Spock has grown in his command abilities since The Galileo Seven.

The wise ones = the aliens.

“He died before he could tell Salish the secret” to opening the Obelisk and stopping the asteroid. That IS unfortunate.

“How does this shirt open?” Lol.

“Your name is Kirok?” “Yeah, sure, whatever.”

“I’ve never been this happy and peaceful.” Funny how he looks neither happy nor peaceful. Maybe it’s something like “I’ve never been this happy and peaceful...and I don’t like it.” Or “I’ve never been this happy and peaceful... there must be something wrong.”

“Here there is much time. For everything.” No there isn’t, there’s an asteroid coming.

Kirk’s cottage core fantasy.

Poor Scotty, so stressed out. Maybe he needs some time with the indigenous aliens.

The Joining Day? Lol okay.

Kirk has no chill, at all. “Oh, you want to get married? Tomorrow? Okay!!” Is this how Gary was able to successfully distract with him the blonde lab technician?

The “stardrive.”

“Estimated repair time?” “FOREVER.”

“And you lost Jim.” Cool it Bones, there’s no need to be cruel. Spock’s already in his thinking pose so you know he’s taking this seriously.

Love Spock’s chair. That’s not Starfleet regulation.

“I have found paradise.” Is he high??

Requisite highly choreographed fight scene.

“You’ve barely eaten or slept for weeks.” That’s because he’s worried about Jim. And the giant asteroid. This is a great Spock and McCoy scene though.

I can’t believe this. Spock lies down (barely!) and McCoy just leaves like he actually thinks he’s won, and then Spock immediately gets up again to go back to work.This guy is even easier to fool than Sarek.

You know Spock spent his whole adolescence going "Sure, I'll do the thing" and then just not doing it.

“A strange lodge that moves through the sky...” Well okay.

Okay I’m sorry, is he sensing the enterprise or is he sensing SPOCK? Because most of this dialogue might just imply he’s generically remembering his old life... but he also specifically says that the “flying lodge” was farther away and now it’s closer again, and how he could he know that otherwise?

She’s pregnant? That’s not good lol. AWKWARD.

Also the closest that TOS will ever come to acknowledging people have sex.

Omg he made a lamp. He made a lamp on his first day there. Does this imply that Captain Kirk had an arts and crafts phase?? Like CPR I understand him knowing--I’m sure everyone in Starfleet does. But hand-carving a lamp? That’s a whole other skill.

Various cultures including “certain Vulcan offshoots” use music notes as words omgggggg I love this information PLEASE tell me more.

“The Preservers” is a good concept imo. Nifty sci fi innovation: taking aliens from endangered places and giving them a new place, then setting it up nicely for them.

Stop throwing things guys! It’s not helping!

“I need Nurse Chapel.” Damn right you do.

Spock really doesn’t like that “wife.” He sounds like “Wife?? How dare??”

Then he suggests it’s a hallucination even though there’s a woman right there.

"Naturally, since he did not come from there. He's my man, get your paws off him."

Vulcan mind fusion? What the heck is that? How is it season 3 and they still don’t know what to call it?

“He is an extremely dynamic individual.” Spock was really taken for a ride in that brain.

“The landing party is expendable.” There’s the Captain.

“I have an excellent eye for musical notes.” Brag.

“Just press the right button.”

Looks like Spock was the god they wanted all along.

Okay, that was an uncool ending though. I know they basically had to kill Miramanee as soon as she was pregnant but like, there was also no reason for her to be pregnant??? I would have preferred if (1) Miramanee hadn't been pregnant, (2) Jim got over her as soon as he regained his memory and (3) she lived and they just parted awkwardly.

Also I think it would have been nice if they had ended with the Enterprise explaining to Salish how the obelisk works, and then maybe even a hint that he and Miramanee will get back together. Like, maybe not that, since I’m not a fan of women just being used to, like, make men feel better--though I’m also not a fan of them being fridged because of Inconvenient Baby--but he should have at least gotten his position back and, more importantly, the knowledge he was always entitled to. Also, the very existence of an asteroid deflector, along with the people’s extensive knowledge of what weather signifies Oncoming Asteroid, implies this happens to them with some frequency. So in other words, the threat will return.

Plus Salish never got enough credit for being right, which he was! The whole time!

Oh and also I would have liked some acknowledgement that Jim does like being Captain. If you watch the whole show, you know that he occasionally bemoans the stress and his inability to maintain a romantic relationship, despite his love of long walks on the beach, but that he’s also ambitious, he loves exploration and adventure, he gets bored if left in one place too long, and he believes in the necessity of progress and discovery to keep not just individuals but societies from stagnation. But if you just watched this episode, you’d think he’d never been happy in his entire life, and that returning to command makes him miserable.

Aside from the Native American stuff--which was awkward and rather unnecessary and has aged, as you might imagine, very very poorly--I actually didn’t hate the episode. It had some VERY interesting Spock stuff, which I think is within a reasonable Spock characterization, and some great Spock and Bones moments. Kirk’s story line was surprisingly engaging for him being completely separate from the crew, and the general theme that he sometimes needs, or thinks he desires, a break from command, is definitely in keeping with other episodes. I liked the asteroid as the Big Danger, which was surprisingly dynamic--by which I mean, it did a good job of connecting the very disparate story lines on the Enterprise and on the planet. I also liked the Sci Fi Concept of the week in the Protectors. And it was interesting to see an ep take place over a longer period of time.

None of this is to downplay how awkward the Native American elements are--incredibly fetishistic, and also lazy--like, “I want to show something Simple and Idyllic...I know! Indians!” There was no reason they should look like American Indians. In fact, it makes no sense that they do: the Protectors take peoples from planets that are about to be destroyed and (somehow) discreetly move them somewhere else, but Native American peoples still.... very much exist? And so does Earth as a whole. So obviously these aliens weren’t transplanted from Earth. So why should their culture resemble some awkward mishmash of Native American cultures?

So overall I’d say, the ideas of the episode, the structure, the characterizations (mostly), and the overall ideas were good, but it was just very awkward and unfortunate that it chose the... aesthetic that it did--especially because it was very much an aesthetic choice and not a well-thought-out, culturally sensitive one. Gonna be honest and just chalk that up to it being 1968 though.

Next is And the Children Shall Lead, which I actually think was one of the first TOS eps I ever saw... But I don’t remember it at all. So we’ll see!

#the year 2021 #2021: star trek #star trek tos #2021: fandom thoughts

3 notes · View notes

mindareadsoots · 5 years ago

Text

So. Peridot.

sigh, this is gonna be a mess.

So, in case you hadn’t heard, Maya Petersen said on twitter this morning that Peridot is aro/ace according to “Word of St Paul”

My opinion, honestly, is that it’s not really evident in the show so you can headcanon Peridot however you want, and that could be the end of the post right there. Full stop.

As for Lapidot, I don’t see how this post changes anything. Lapis is also adverse to fusion, so accepting that Peridot is aro/ace doesn’t even change their dynamic all that much (although put a pin in that for later, because we’re going to have to come back to that). And anyways, Word of God can not and does not stop people from shipping things.

But much like Peridot’s character development, ending things there would be abrupt and unsatisfying, so we’re going to go deeper than that.

Asexuality and Fusion

The big elephant in the room that I want to get out of the way first is that I don’t have a problem with Peridot being aro/ace. There’s some evidence for it (and some against it, but we’ll get to that later), and overall I like it as a character beat for her. It’s a fairly rare bit of representation, so it’s nice to see.

However, I have a HUGE problem with them tying asexuality to Peridot’s disinterest in fusion.

Fusion has always been much more than an analogue for sex. If it wasn’t, then we’d be talking about how Steven and Connie are too young for fusion, and Steg is incestuous. And we don’t want to go down that road. That’s a dumb road.

Fusion can represent loving (Garnet), platonic (Smoky Quartz), or familial relationships (Steg). It can represent budding relationships (Stevonnie) or alliances of convenience (Bluebird Azerite).

Fusion is a versatile metaphor, but it’s that very versatility that works against it when connecting it to asexuality. Because now you’re basically saying that aro/ace people can’t have any meaningful relationships, and that’s clearly not the message that they want to send with Peridot. This could be cleared up if Peridot’s stance on fusion and what it means for her relationships with others was actually examined in the show, but it hasn’t been.

Word of God vs The Work Itself

So is Peridot a good representation of asexuality within the show itself?

On the whole? Maybe, but at best it’s unclear.

That’s why I can’t say whether or not Peridot discovering her asexuality is a good or satisfying character beat in the show. It’s not in the show at all! If you’re looking for representation, we can do better than this. This show has done better than this.

The only scene you can really point to where Peridot shows an aversion to fusion is in Log Date, when Garnet offers to show Peridot what fusion is like with a firsthand experience.

This moment later got a callback in one of the children’s books talking about fusion, complete with the alien boxers she wore in that same episode.

The problem is that this scene happens very, VERY early on in Peridot’s character development. Log Date was a flashback episode to before Message Received, so Peridot still considered herself loyal to Homeworld at that point. That whole scene - indeed, that whole episode - was about Peridot experimenting and learning how to be more than just a tool for Homeworld. She didn’t have her meep morps yet. She didn’t have her metal powers yet.

In fact, after Too Short to Ride came out, I remember seeing speculation that Peridot was afraid that she couldn’t fuse and so she broke off with Garnet out of embarrassment.

More importantly, it would have been wrong for Peridot to fuse right at that moment, regardless of her sexuality. She was still getting to know the Crystal Gems. She didn’t have an established relationship with Garnet or really anybody in the cast at that point, so seeing her fuse then would have been meaningless. The scene very clearly set up fusion as something for Peridot to explore later, once she has found somebody who she is ready to fuse with.

And shortly after that episode, Peridot would meet...

Lapis

Let’s call a spade a spade. The real reason why people are upset about Peridot being labeled ace is because of Lapidot, and I think that’s a perfectly valid reaction. It isn’t ace-phobia or erasure to say, “Word of God tried to sink my ship, and I don’t like it.”

I’m not going to go through all of the moments hinting at a romantic interest between Lapis and Peridot, but, ya know...

They’re there.

And they were clearly put there on purpose, as expressed by storyboarder Jesse Zuke back when they were working on the show.

In truth, I’m not interested in re-litigating whether or not their relationship actually became a true romance, because it’s irrelevant. Either way, the most important relationship the two of them had was with each other. Peridot being ace doesn’t take way from that, but it does leave Lapis in an awkward spot in one specific way.

As I mentioned at the top of the post, Lapis has displayed an aversion to fusion, which could make her perfectly compatible with an aro/ace Peridot. However, there’s one very important difference. Unlike Peridot, who came into her asexuality from thoughtful introspection (or so we’ve been told) Lapis’s problem with fusion comes from a traumatic experience. She isn’t aromantic by choice, it’s a wound that’s still fresh.

So - and again, this question applies whether you ship Lapidot romantically or not - if Lapis is working through the trauma of a bad fusion experience, but the character she’s closest to doesn’t want to fuse, then where does that leave her?

This comes back to that first big problem with the tweet, which is that this shouldn’t be a problem. There is no reason why Peridot can’t have a platonic fusion with Lapis while being aro/ace, but it’s clearly not going to happen in SUF, and it doesn’t sound like it’s going to happen ever.

There are other candidates, of course. Lapis also has a very close and trusting friendship with Steven, she seems to be getting along well with Bismuth in the limited time we’ve seen them together, and in Why So Blue, she even made a potential new friend in fellow Lapis “Freckles” Lazuli.

But even so, the most on screen relationship development she’s gotten has been with Peridot, and now that character development is just kind of in limbo.

In Conclusion

I don’t really have a conclusion.

I just wanted to convey that this whole situation is kind of a hot mess.

I really would like to see more aro/ace representation, and if any character in SU was going to get that label, then Peridot would be a good candidate, but this was just a bad way to get there.

It’d be one thing if we actually had an episode about Peridot exploring her asexuality. Then we could actually judge how well it plays out. Now it’s just sort of vaguely unsatisfying and it’s left a lot of people arguing about what they think it means for Peridot and the characters around her.

That’s almost certainly intentional on the part of the writers. The crew has said that they don’t want to lock down any canon ships (besides Garnet, obviously) because they don’t want to ruin headcanons. And the whole point of the episode Little Graduation was that Steven (and by extension, the audience) is not necessarily privy to every character development that happens off-screen, but you can’t say that, and then also put your thumb on the scale with tweets like this.

Honestly, I’m expecting the followup tweet any minute now of, “Don’t harass people for shipping/not shipping Peridot,” because tweeting out character details after the fact is just kicking the hornet’s nest. Maybe we’ll get a graphic novel or something where Peridot outlines what fusion means to her, but until then, let people ship what they want, and be good to each other.

#steven universe #peridot #steven universe future #minda watches steven universe #minda reads

122 notes · View notes

soimarriedayuki · 4 years ago

Text

Self Invited Guest

Our family dynamic is a fairly simple one. There is naturally the In-laws who are close but not too close. This is the us that is Yuki, Myself and Tiny and then there is the rest of the family who are my family.

A lot of my family actually live a lot further away so I don’t in fact see them much at all. My Mother on the other hand still lives locally. A blessing you might say as she adore Tiny and is very helpful.

Then this happens... Don’t worry I have not forgotten this blog is actually something to do with my husband more than a random diary. He does make an appearance.

---

In the middle of cleaning the bathroom I hear the front door open followed by a familiar shout out of “It’s me!”

You have no idea the struggle it is to suppress replying “Hello Me!” Instead I scoop up the cream cleaner and bleach and go to check out what is happening.

Turns out it was a simple task that required me using our printer to make copies of some paperwork. Quick, easy and after handing them over I was trying to think about what my next household task was to be.

I try to do as much of the cleaning as possible while Tiny is in school. I know it is never going to stop the requirement of cleaning house but at least when she isn’t here I can focus on the laundry and cleaning that uses all those cleaning bottles that come with warnings on them. And the child proof lids that you personally struggle to open but if you give them to most children can apparently be opened very easily. *Note* I do not ever do this i was attempting to be funny.

"So what we having for lunch?" Mum settles down on the sofa looking like she is certainly not moving anytime soon. I can already feel the plans to be ahead on the chores flying away from me.

"Is this the royal we or are you asking me to feed you?"

"Well i'm here." She looks at me completely oblivious to the way i’m feeling. Or maybe she knows and is just playing... difficult to tell I mean she is my Mum after all.

"You invited yourself. I don't even know what i have..."

Honestly i don’t mind caring for others and I do try to be a good host. Usually I don’t tend to play host to a self invited guest.

"Anything is fine. Oh but i can't have..."

I leave the room as she starts to list of things she can and can't have since her operation and vanish into the kitchen. Whilst i would love to meet all her demands I start looking at the few items i did actually have since going to the stores to restock supplies was still hit and miss.

I swear if you listen very carefully you can probably hear my brain quietly scream as i look around the items i actually do have before settling on a "basic" French-ish slightly fusion menu plan.

___

*Soft fresh baguette sandwich with grated iceberg lettuce, sliced apple and slices of french brie drizzled in a vinaigrette dressing.

*Tender leaf salad with chunks of Apple, Chorizo and goat's cheese in more of the same french dressing. Much more dressing than what i put on the baguettes because you know? its a salad bowl.

*A smooth thick carrot and lentil soup with cut up and toasted croissants for croutons with some sour cream.

___

"What's this?" Mum asks as I start placing plates on the table.

"Well no expert here Mum but i do believe it is what people call food." I open up a bottle of sparkling water and put that on the table with the cutlery.

"It looks edible!" She sits down and starts looking at the food as if she was expecting it to move or something.

I don’t have a problem generally with cooking. I have in fact been told i can turn out some pretty passable dishes and even been asked for a recipe or two. I do have to say i find the candid reaction from my own mother to be amusing.

"My food always looks edible unlike a certain someone who was in the habit of serving various shades of charcoal or just food that arrived after a ping noise" If i haven’t told you already I do actually love my Mum. I was however infected with a sass bug as a child and i am still suffering it to this day.

"You survived didn't you!?" She mocks being seriously offended knowing full well i’m teasing.

"Yes you are right i also learnt to cook. Bon appetite."

While we are eating this is where Yuki appears. I did tell you he was here somewhere didn’t I? Dragging his feet as he shuffled into the kitchen to get a drink looking for all the world like he might actually be a zombie.

He cracks the pull tab on the can in his hands and takes what looks like an endless mouthful of fizzy pop. Soda, Pop, soft drink... you chose your own name for it here as we are inclined to just refer to it as juice sometimes.

“What’s this opening up a cafe? Hey Mum.”

I smiled seeing him do a classic move of addressing someone when they had their mouths full. He usually waits till I have just taken a mouthful of something to drink before saying something either witty or dumb and it makes me laugh and choke.

"You hungry too?" I ask knowing there is nothing actually on the table except maybe the soup that he would in fact choose to eat.

I would have made him something different if he asked for food, i’m not that cruel.

"Nope I be sleepy. I was thirsty but I got soda so i'm going back to bed." He gives a half hearted wave of his hand as he leaves after tossing the now empty can in the recycling.

He’s a night shift worker and while i am aware his drinking habits may not be the healthiest I won’t condone them. Well not yet anyway, to be hones i’m a little tired of telling him to not drink coke and then go back to bed.

"Good bye creature formally known as Thirsty" I go back to eating my lunch when i catch the muttering voice of my dear mother.

“You two are so weird.”

I smile ignoring it as i could hardly argue differently.

---

5 notes · View notes

duhragonball · 5 years ago

Text

7 Comfort Movies

Tagged by @pandemicpicnic . List your seven favorite comfort movies, then tag 7 people.

This is a good thing to pass around, since I could use the diversion, and as I think about this list, I realize how long it’s been since I last saw a lot of these movies.

In no particular order...

1) Dragon Ball Z: Fusion Reborn

I dunno if these are necessarily comfort movies, as opposed to just movies I like the best, but I don’t watch movies a whole lot, so I’m guessing my all-time favorites are probably close enough. Movie 12 is good watchin’, period. This is a movie about everyone working together. Friends, enemies, strangers, the living and the dead, the damned and the divine. I watch this movie and wish that we in the real world could put aside our differences so easily and blow up all the Nazis.

2) Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

People say this is the worst Superman movie, but fuck that noise. This is the only one where Superman throws all the nuclear weapons into the sun. But one of them has a chicken nugget attached to it, which grows into a clone of Superman with scratchy fingernails, his only weakness. So Superman has to kick his ass on/with the moon, and then tell everyone that nuclear war is too big a job for Superman, because we’ll just re-arm the minute his back is turned.

This is a story about high school physics, Luthor. Sometimes the things we fear the most are only the darker side of our greatest strengths. If humanity has the power to destroy itself, then doesn’t that mean we have the power to save ourselves as well? The choice is ours.

3) Spaceballs

Some killjoys actually hated this movie, and point to it as evidence that Mel Brooks lost his touch. I respectfully submit that those people are dumb. Spaceballs came out during the dark years between Return of the Jedi and Phantom Menace, when we all wanted more Star Wars but thought we would never get more. Brooks heard our pleas, and gave us this movie, which is basically Star Wars with dick jokes all over it. People always go on about how Star Trek predicted smartphones and the Simpsons predicted the Trump administration, but only Spaceballs was prescient enough to declare: “Fuck! Even in the future, nothing works!”

This is a story about following your heart. If all you care about is duty, and obligation, and profit, you’ll end up marrying some dullard, or owing your soul to a talking pizza, or roaming the universe in search of air.

4) Batman: Mask of the Phantasm

This is the best Batman movie ever, and maybe even the best comic book movie period. In 1994, Batman the Animated Series was popular enough that they made a feature film and ran it in theaters and everything. I remember some smartass article at the time questioning whether parents would see the point in taking their kids to watch a movie of something that’s on TV for free, which is just dumb. It’s not like they ran four episodes of the TV series for this thing. It’s an original story! Anyway, Batman has to figure out what the deal is with this new vigilante who fights crime with murder, which is also a crime. He also gets very sad in place and it’s very emotional and I bought the soundtrack as soon as I could because I wanted to listen to it and feel things.

This is a story about the future, and promises, and the roads not taken. And when all is said and done, maybe the choices we made were the right ones after all, in spite of our second-guesses.

5) Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

I considered putting Revenge of the Sith on this list, since that’s usually the one I look up clips from on YouTube, but there’s no topping Jedi. I saw this in the theatre when I was six and everything was awesome. Jabba the Hutt, wint-o-green lightsabers, speeder bikes, Ewoks breaking stuff with logs and rocks, it’s just a pleasure to watch. Also, this movie introduces Emperor Palpatine, and lays the foundation for the Sith lore that made me love Revenge of the SIth in the first place. Not long after we got home from seeing this movie in 1983, I tried to draw this scene in the screencap above, because it left such a deep impression on me.

This is a story about feelings. Every butthole in Star Wars is always telling everyone else what to feel and how much they should feel it, and don’t get too attached to this or that. But in this movie Luke has to exercise restraint and then cut loose, give into his passions and then reign them in, care for his friends and family but also be willing to let them go. Everyone can give him advice, but he’s got to hoe that row himself, and figure it out as he goes. He doesn’t always get it exactly right, but he still gets it.

6) The Transformers: The Movie (1986)

The historians will say that cartoons like the original Transformers were nothing more than glorified toy commercials, made possible by the deregulation of children’s entertainment in the 1980′s. I find this incredibly unfair, because that analysis ignores the fact that Transformers was a fucking awesome cartoon. They’re all robots, so they could shoot and punch each other without any guff from standards and practices. And since the show was designed to promote an entire toy line, there were literally dozens of characters, each given a surprising amount of character and personality. Starscream (center) and Ramjet (right) are practically the same toy, but kids wanted both of them because Starscream is a whiny, shitty drama queen, and Ramjet is a dumbass who likes to hit things with his head. Astrotrain (left) is just a cool dude who can be a train or a space shuttle.

This movie is the height of the franchise, where they could raise the stakes even higher, and introduce even crazier concepts like planet-eating monsters and robots actually killing each other for keeps. I see fans from my generation acting all traumatized over all the deaths, like they never should have done that in a movie marketed for children, but this was a story about renewal. The old order changeth, and it falls to the newcomers to rise up and carry on. I’ve always taken a lot of comfort in the way these characters pass the torch. The Smurfs were never brave enough to have Papa Smurf name his successor.

7) UHF

Geez, I haven’t watched this one in forever. I’d have to double-check to see if I even have it on DVD. UHF was the ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic vehicle from the late 1980′s. I want to say ‘89. He plays a guy who takes over a TV station and runs all these ludicrous shows on it until it becomes the most popular channel in town. It’s basically a bunch of sketch comedy stitched together into a movie, and it doesn’t try to apologize for this.

This is a story of the importance of imagination, and of being true to yourself. Al’s character has trouble finding a steady job, and its’ easy to conclude that there’s something wrong with him, but it’s really just that he hasn’t found the right opportunity for his passions and skills. Once he finds his place, he rises to the occasion.

And that’s my list. Now I gotta tag people. @auralime, @ediblenonsense, @semercury, @twobellsilence, @drowning-in-this-starry-serenade, @cozymochi, and @glintea.

#that shot of the twinkie weiner sandwich is strangely poignant to me #when i was 11 it was hilarious #when i was 18 i was determined to make my own #out of some misplaced sense of patriotic duty to the weird al fandom #then al went vegetarian and it seemed kind of silly #now i watch the scene where he makes the thing and i just feel bad for him because his character's broke #i'm old enough to get the context finally

9 notes · View notes

comradeocean · 6 years ago

Text

I haven't read Arya x Gendry in like ... 6 years. I caught up a bit this week. Here are some I really like!

[30 some fic recs after the jump]

post 8x01 Arya keeps looking for reasons to visit Gendry in the forge. - mmh post episode askbox fic

Somewhere to Begin, MissAtomicBomb (mrs_nerimon) The Stark sisters share a moment in the wake of some impactful reunions. - lmao my most frequently used GoT tag was "westeROS" (remember Ros???) followed by "Stark famly dynamics." So Stark sisters hashing things out... my kryptonite

Beautiful & Deadly Sharp, vlaurie17 Learning to fight with a sword were some of Arya's best memories. Sansa, however, was hesitant. “What do I do with it?” “Stick ‘em with the pointy end,” Arya smirked. Sansa just rolled her eyes, “Obviously." - also Stark sisters revisiting being Vengeance-made-girls together and practising to knife someone

I'll sing for you, Ravenclawpride06 Set post 8x1. Gendry wants it bad. Arya wants it worse. Was going to more explicit but I left it vague, felt it fit better in the end. All the pining! - I’m soft for the pining

This is my wish, crazychipmink "As he studied the drawing she had given him, he slowly began to let himself believe that she was real and alive and well. He had thought about Arya so many times that the memory of her was worn in his mind. Fragile and faded, like a piece of parchment that had been read too many times. To tell the truth, sometimes, he couldn’t even remember what she looked like, only that she was the only thing he ever wanted, ever wished for.” - season 8 episode companion fic series - ao3 tag: weapons design processes are long and require many iterations - “Davos assumed he was waiting to play his part in the great war to come, but in reality, Gendry was waiting for the next remarkable thing to happen to him. Perhaps if enough remarkable things happened to him, he would finally let himself believe that the most remarkable thing that had ever happened to him had happened.” wow ok

Who are you waiting for? crazychipmink [incomplete] "She had Arya’s face and Arya’s voice and even Arya’s smile. But despite all that, he felt like he had just spoken to a ghost. An unnatural ghost of Arya, pretending to be the girl he was in love with. Gendry had traveled to the end of the world to find her, but now that he finally had, she was gone." - the angst universe evil twin version of the fic above - we will take it bc we love to suffer - and also bc the author promises "fluff" and "eventual romance" ok sounds real but ok

the thing with feathers, yanak324 If anyone is capable of bringing the old Arya back, it’s this man in front of her, which is precisely why she must walk away. - a more (immediately) optimistic read of how Arya's in episode enactments of being No One might have gone

and in the end, jeeno2 [incomplete] Five times Gendry Waters is an idiot and the one time he figures things out. - Gendry being dumb is kind of a thing and I'm not always the biggest fan of how it plays out in fanon but this is sweet!

The She-Wolves of Winterfell, vixleonard The pack survived. So has the Stark habit of keeping secrets. - 2nd generation Stark girls. Arya's daughter matter-of-factly saying "Stark women don't get married" - a whole ass mood.

Mid-Battle, Mary_West Sandor has something important to say to Gendry - if only Gendry can live long enough to hear it.

season 8 AU My Lady sanctuary_for_all Gendry and Arya find each other again. (AKA the plotline Gendry deserved in 7X07) - fic convention I am 100% here for: Arya scrabbling around Gendry's face looking for the seam. fic convention I am 100000% here for: Arya throwing off her glove in order to do so and then holding her hands against his cheek

Nights are for You (or Five Times Arya Visits Gendry in the Forge and One Time Gendry Visits Arya in the Castle) ASwornStark She hasn’t visited the forge since Jon returned home with the dragon bitch (the Stark sisters’ favored name for her) and him in tow. - reunion fic

season 7 Before We Jump, MissAtomicBomb (mrs_nerimon) Arya Stark's bastard boys bond on their way to the Wall. - anything for some good rowing references and bastard subjectivity

earlier laughing 'till our ribs get tough (that will never be enough), belasteals "Gendry took one look and laughed so hard that wine came out of his nose, until Harwin gave him a thwack alongside his ear." - A Storm of Swords, Arya IV (or, Gendry's POV on Acorn Hall) - real ones can't get enough of book canon and Acorn Hall.

Butcher, elephant_eyelash Gendry and Arya by the fire, discussing jacket potatoes and thinking murderous things. - perfect meditation on food and hunger and care

Dissimulo, Somnio, jeeno2 She is no one, now. But still the boy with the black hair haunts her dreams. - honestly the showrunners are cowards for not going there. let No One be Vagina Dentata Personified 2kwhenevertheBraavosiseasonsaired

post canon/canon divergent Charcoal, elephant_eyelash All about winter and feeling the cold. - weird how I'm obsessed with self-loathing and wintry alienation and the weight of history and ancestry but also devotion also love. super weird totally unexpected

Five Things Gendry Only Says in the Dark, jeeno2 Where no one else can hear him. - loneliness, shame, self-loathing. the important emotions. oh and spoiler alert some joy.

Like Wenda, Furious_Winter "...she could ride with Gendry and be an outlaw, like Wenda the White Fawn in the songs." - my favourite canon AUs are Arya and Gendry with the Brotherhood and my absolute favourites of those are when they are apart (who's ever heard of a marauding smith??) but have some of miserable bittersweet understanding and they glower at each other and make each other jealous and everything is unspoken but this is it this singular love they have for each other that doesn't quite work out. I've just realized that most of these recs are highkey angsty oops. anyway, this fic is like the most complete and perfect distillation of everything I want. - also this is so richly detailed and complete in itself. immensely satisfying. - yeah ok Furious_Winter is actually the master of post canon together but not Arya/Gendry love is not always enough fics. I'm just going to recommend all of them: - The Wolf's Head Helm [The Starks are back in Winterfell and Sansa is Queen in the North. One day, Arya receives a gift from an old friend... - Arya is in Sansas's queensguard.] - A Means To An End (incomplete) [Arya Stark has returned from Essos and has been staying at the Inn at the Crossroads. Things are not nearly as simple as she sees them. - fuck this one hurts so good] - A Bastard At Heart [Arya and Gendry marry other people for the good of the kingdom 'cause they're self sacrificing like that. the last line took me outtt]

the truth is, baby you're all that I need, belasteals “You were jealous,” he laughed, almost shocked. “Arya Stark of Winterfell, jealous of a whore.” - sirens This One Is Not Angsty sirens

A Girl Meets a Boy, Hotpie A girl takes a face; a girl takes a lover. - possibly my favourite Crossroads Inn fic. love the Faceless Man stuff. love the detail of Needle having a smallest spot of rust, from Braavosi Steel Pox and Arya feeling a ways about it. love picking up the Melisandre thread.

So Easy To Love, Val_Creative She misses Gendry's complaining, too enthralled with staring. "You smell like Dennett's underarms," Arya murmurs, leaning in, going for blunt honesty. Gendry opens his mouth, beginning to laugh, turning uproarious and smiling. She's never seen anything more beautiful than this. More kissable than Gendry's mouth. - the summary makes it seem like it's all kissing when there is actually a big chunk of plot - in service of eventual kissing, yes, - but! spoiler alert! they don't even get to it in this fic! not exactly - maybe why I love it a lot??

With Bells in Her Hair, semicolonlife [incomplete] The further south they travel the more Gendry starts to wonder if he truly knows this woman who wears Arya Stark's face. As he begins to doubt himself more and more, Gendry becomes obsessed with the strange bells she wears in her hair. - ruthless slightly wonky Arya is my favourite Arya.

Wayfaring, Rainfallen An accidental series centered on the same basic headcanon of how Gendry found himself in the North and how Arya found her way back to it. - wolf girl Wolf Girl WOLF GIRL

Seen, sanctuary_for_all Being important matters less than who you're important to. - He wasn't sure what that verdict was, however, until she returned the unfinished sword to rest position with a deeply satisfied expression. "I am going to kill so many people with that sword." It was probably a bad sign for his long-term sanity that Gendry felt deeply complimented by that. "Happy to help." my useless heart: pikachu face - see! I like fluffy HEAs too

Hearts, sanctuary_for_all Arya comes home to her family. (Future flash) - look, I just think it's really important that even married and with children, Arya continues murdering people uwu

other AUs/misc I'll Run (Run To You), belasteals “You would rather marry a lowborn knight than a high lord, then?” She grinned, all bared teeth and sharp eyes. “I’d rather marry no one at all, else I'd not play at this mummer’s farce.” “What about the man who outruns you?” “Nobody outruns me.” (Greek mythology fusion: Arya as Atalanta, Gendry as Hippomenes. Arya vows only to marry the man who can outrun her in a footrace) - Atalanta, Mononoke, Arya. same energy.

#game of thrones #arya x gendry #gendrya #fic rec #asoiaf #no featherbed

245 notes · View notes

screechingtrashcalzonewombat · 5 years ago

Text

"Apopalictic Astral Asending" Reavaluate disassociate my self worth...

The galaxies have birthed an uncontrollable being ....

I've feel as tho Ive seen myself split in two ..

Witch side do u wanna see if ur lucky I'll let you choose .

Cause in the end I loose..

One of hate one of love could both be from up above..

Or down below ...

I've began to show signs of delusions as half my mind goes an tells me it's only mild confusion. As my body fights my brain an heart to escape theys terrible illusions.

Yet the other half tries to start a fusion of body an mind an all the suddently my thoughts are no longer mine..

But a evil so Divine that its wound it's way threw time itself I've fealt the damage the energy dealt. I've yelped in anquish an pain been stuck for 7 long years in the rain with nothing to gain .. I can barely fathom to explain im not fully on earth I'm on another astral plane but i fear i flew out of my lane I've gone insane never wanted fame Ever fealt like bat man I mean oops Bruce Wayne. Nah fuck hes spoiled a wet rat infact I'm more like hulk duck when I'm near i wearly see I'm drowning inside my mind but no one can hear my dear I fear I've lost control again but cant compute I've been booted out of the system I've clawed hit an kicked to try to get to the top but i outta of known I've been ripped an thrown from my throne ive been shown what this beast can do but who woulda thought a demon bought my soul ..a jackal a goul.....you'll see me shift into numbness I suposse it was my own dumbness for being to open now cause of me my body an mind are broken an stole. as I weep an shutter an i try to speak but only stutter I found myself weak in defeat ....as ik this demon reaching its peak will plunder an pillage the town I've found I'm bound to this beast nowhere to run not north south or east I can run it will feast on my soul until the end of time ..

For diamonds cannot compare to the rarity of a soul nor a bowl of Ruby's an jems rolled in gold .....

A bold statement you say........

.. theres no ray of light here they stole it away buried it in your mind but how can u define being locked trapped in yourself ...

You've dealt your own fate ...

Wanting ansers u dint deserve ..

Did you like your just dessert's...no?

Dose it hurt ..... After you itll kill children's childhood freinds like bernie & eart ....whent bizzirk an bashed there brains makeing bloody rains

curking on everyone with cutlery forks an knifes* slice *cook big bird with chives after I've shanked him 900 times... 100 more woulda been devine serve him drink to dry alone cooked an ripped him to the bone but not quite alone u may not be home inside but u can still watch...I thought I taught u better than to close ur eyes dont beg or look surprised look away an I'll adopt another stray to do the same a slow sweet death cure's my hunger anyway

.the wines innocents blood bitter sweet to the taste of the tounge

no one thought it capable I seemed...looked ...so young..

They dint know it had just begun it wasn't me but the evil half committing crime with glee an fleeing repetavidly revealingly images to my mind of times & crimes so sickening I thought I'd die forever scetched seered into my mind .binded with no power as one towers over you using your power you cowar for how dose one define the disasbalment of there an every defined mind while ur inner demon dines on flesh making a mess of your vessel you cant even wrestle your way to the light to stay only break down in defeat that your so far away you've became an internal mess cant even stand on ur feet the beast has u chained in defeat u cry an apologize looking for answers as of how to stop.....an then...you hear a voice .." you outta stayed silent instead of talk back. U shouldn't of complained do u still think ur life used to be pain...... . Ur a sack of shit ur wit is less than that of an ant not to rant but I'm not done yet I have ur soul now I'm never letting go no no no I have plenty more so much to show many souls to reap an emotions to subdue after all u said yes.....

...did you forget ur the one who started this.

mess ......you dressed your mind with fantasy an fiction word to the wise never mess with other worldly friction an your itching for a way out but I doubt ull get there before the end of time .after all you had a devil an an angel on ur shoulder an you chose wrong this time. Only took 666 times but I'm patient an always waiting for 6 years hating an burning flesh waiting for a prayer a call after all Lucifer was once an angel an the most beautiful you just dint get to see from what angle he had beauty wrath an determination but u humans resulted in his isolation incarsorason. So now we will end up being humanity's enialation when were done there entire selves with evaporate for the demons have released self hate to pro create creatures in confidence we annihilate the fate of the human race at least the trace slight like us able to bust threw dementions so weve mentioned a start to find the inordinary soul an heart ......humanity was doomed from the start.. you stole our purpose our reason to be......humans sit in sin an glee.

Your humanitys Pride is overbearing never genuinely caring ..

Greed is sweeping the nation its reached ever state an it's got a hot heaping plate of corruption for mankind's consumption greed is grotesque in its steps of the darkest quest to corupt ur mind an want. .want..want until that's all you are is wanting more

Lusting over losely draped garments you've tarnished ur soul .

Envy of what you do not posses but for all you know that information an life would make you a mess but ud still test ur envious tendencies.....

Glutton glutton what have you gained it's not knowledge no for it's to plain rather glutton uve found a urge that wont go away....

Wrath an vengeance blood draw too no one stops till some dies him or you....

Sloth last but not least cant forget you cause uuuh wait what that fuck do u do....you sleep an sulk sit slither out of simple tasks an that's why ur not 1st no ur last like humanity just ask ....

So soon the day will draw near the the number 4 is what you should fear our dear old freinds were sending up for a visit so they can reddit ur fate for each a horse an a trait the first out the door with bow in hand riding a white horse with bow in hand

Conquest the start of the final test leading the restthere dark version of light on a white stallion he leads the way an soon will follow hades anyway.

War was next on a red steed he rode prepared to purge an quench new blood for the wars an battels would just begin brother against brother an close of kin witch to win?

Famine foe of all on a black horse with the courses hair so fair merely bone but dont let his appearance fool you hes for he is full devouring your greed taking away everything you want or need an now ur rationed to nearly starvation stretching farther than destination world wide sensation...

Pleage reaper of souls slowly apears steadly trotting riding a very sickly steed looking pale an almost gruesome green with sores an sickness best keep a distance. For he shall be the bringer of death an reap you all one by one to the four you shall fall...

Will you be spared are you true....

Are you happy with your life what did you do...?

Rapture no you still must die.....

Say good by to this earthy chapter theres so much more that manifest after.

But only your earthly husk must rust an fall your all energy of grate mass....

It's time to take the task of self evolvment an enjoy an enlightened installment

this world was just step wrench ur third eye wide open an accept the token of eternal life.

Grinded it to atoms a flash of dust all together ur a self fulfilling must memory pass u in a rush.....

. sudently ur bodysuit is gone ....

But it dint felt like it quite belonged.

You were 7 grams of light matter to be exact an sudently you've cracked the atmosphere ..steering energetic waves my metal psyche caves to the new information flying threw stars consolations.

Suddently speeding at the sound of light the stratosphere seems to disapear ..

My fear is gonewithout a trace an freedom transferred in its place

but am waved in infatuation to find out about out true destination...

Restoration of the soul the goal of a higher self being achieved as I crash into the sun 1500°

I feel a warmth like no other each being hues of light I might of missed earth if not I heard a voice but a mental push no need for speech just thinking it shall be done said by the the brightest in the sun.

Rejoice at last but ur journeys yet to pass ..

This is merely were you start ....

Our flames grew high with frantic waves not wanting to give up the new life we were just gave

Suddenly our flames grew dim as we felt a swirling deep from withn sudently the surface of the sun turned to tin an bent in a cracked an caved with itself our time an space sending us ascending in alignment the same assignment.

Because the sun has begun to change ina twisted way a black hole some could say.

As all of our astral beings were ripped an tore apart at the seams we all merged an formed one all knowing creative being an sudently everything I've know has little matter I'm past a point of human chatter i understand infinity the holy trinity I down in the milky way an experienced every life I've relived it twice I've spliced my genetics into over 2000 million beings I've seen good an bad in between experienced every tragedy to build my strength an studyd every thesis an theory thread an chain nearly drove my vessel insane even took knifes threw my veins in anger yet it failed I was just a trailer.ive seen love hate an anger

Comprehension compasing many others I have love an understanding past many beings there anger seems to brush by me cause I'm with 2000 souls an minds that have formed one to reach a state I can medidate in the milky way an force your negative away .

Our astral self has accumulated complete power an understanding by costuming to our full potential our old body's merely a rental.

Gentle at first then bursted into power showered in knowledge I know now much that I wondered before but now I want more an I've thought till I an 2000 shared beings head hurt cause my girth of knowledge will now never be enough it's tough cause now I must find .... how to ascend again but for now i must defend my vast mind defind crime ...?

Keeping 2000 vast voices locked away so I can focus an try to learn anyway leaning in to vast places is I the 1st 2nd or 3rd or other many plains I cant quiet place I'm traveling threw them all searching for everything I couldn't before .

This life isent like the countless other this life I like it has interesting teathers

I've surpass Angel's an there feathers an vison of a hawk.

I've surpass demonds and there demonic temping talk ..

I've walked on water as I was ripped apart an I felt my self rebuilt every cell of my being got hit with rods of power lightning not even myself can fight me god like abilities the universe as built in me theres ben a spiritual shift a tilt in me somthing generations of DNA sprawled out in a numerical display my old life experiences is the price I pay so that I can be god even if only for a day

I think I'll sit an think somewere in the outter spink of the universe I've cursed myself with knowledge an now I'm aware step into my astral space....

If you dare...

2 notes · View notes

live-love-laugh-lesbian · 5 years ago

Text

Choose Me Again

(I posted this on ao3 like, a month ago or so, but not on here-)

Summary: Emile Picani is born without a soulmate mark, a "Spare". Thankfully he meets someone who doesn't care about the rules, and has enough overconfidence to pull off a fake soulmate mark for far too long. Emile can't help but fall in love with that sort of person. Maybe his brother was right, Deceit really is a bad influence.

Words: 5,643

Emile Picani was born without a soulmate, just a blank wrist.

His parents were a typical love story in their world. They met young, their names burning bright on their wrists, shock and awe and excitement as they realised they’d found their soulmate. They stayed together through high school, of course, and got married as soon as they finished university. His mother wore a pretty mermaid tail white dress, his father had gushed over how lucky he was to have such a beautiful soulmate, and two years later they’d had Emile’s older brother Logan, who was born with the name Roman Prince on his wrist in deep red. It sparkled in the sun, and Emile swore there were flecks of gold within it.

But then Emile was born, pale blank wrists, a doctor reassuring his parents that many people don’t develop their marks until later. That he had one patient who got it at “the cut off mark”, and how lucky they were, how close they were to not having one!

So his parents relaxed, assumed he’d develop one in due course.

He was three when he first realised he was “different” than his family. Logan was only two years older than him, and really didn’t understand as much as he’d like to pretend. So when Emile traced over the curves of the R and asked why he didn’t have a name, Logan had said they were still looking for someone good enough for him.

Emile found it funny, had blushed, made some high pitched squawking noise, and continued playing. His parents overheard, and used it as the reason whenever the question came up. Anything to make their son feel normal.

Emile went to playgroup, met a variety of children with a variety of names. Only a couple didn’t have theirs yet, but they were too young to really understand why it was such a big deal. Em ile met Remy there, a boy with pitch black letters scrawled over his wrist, deep and inky.

“October,” Emile reads proudly, “I don’t know anyone named after a month though...”

R emy shrugs, picks up a pen and starts doodling over a sheet of paper, as blank as Emile’s arms.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s a dumb name. Yours is cooler.”

E mile smiled, gap toothed and rosy cheeked, looking forwards to the day he met someone with his name on them. He liked to imagine it as pink and bubbly, maybe with a sparkle like his brothers. He started looking at his wrist more often, imagining the name that would appear.

B y the time the year ended and he had to start school with Remy, he was the only person he knew without a name. Just a blank wrist.

“It’s ok,” his mother reassures him, “my grandmother didn’t get hers until the cut off point. She was thirteen! A day later and she’d have been a Spare!”

Spare. Emile doesn’t understand the word as an insult, but Logan does, and he understands that it’s bad the day Logan comes home complaining a kid called Emile a Spare.

“Like a spare pencil?” Emile asks, almost hopefully, “you know, in case you need an extra one!”

H e was young, but old enough to recognise pity. He sees it in how his mother smiles sadly, his brother runs a hand through his hair, and his father nods.

“Yes, Emile. Like...a spare pencil.”

R emy works it out before him, of course, the two sat under a tree reading when Remy blurts out that his mother thinks Emile’s a Spare.

“She says you’re not gonna get a mark,” he says, “but she’s wrong. You’re not a Spare, don’t worry.”

“What’s a Spare?” Emile asks, “people keep saying the word, but I don’t get it.”

“Just means someone without a name. They used to believe it was the universe making sure there were people left over in case of death or something,” Remy says it like he’s been told it a million times, “it’s sad. I’ve never met a Spare before though. Maybe they don’t exist.”

“Maybe,” Emile agrees, and closes the book he’s reading. He finds himself drifting to books and shows without romance in them. He knows he’s not a Spare, but it doesn’t hurt to take his mind off things.

H e likes cartoons, he discovers. Where he can ignore romance, if there’s any, and focus on the action, the characters. He likes Steven Universe. He likes that even though Sapphire and Ruby are in love, he doesn’t have to focus on it. Besides, most cartoons didn’t have soulmate marks. Most of them.

“You’ve got time,” his mother reassures him when he mentions this, “and we can take you to see a doctor if you’re worried.”

He doesn’t like that, the idea that he should see a doctor, that something is wrong with him. He tells this to Logan, who presses a kiss to his forehead and tells him he’s perfect, that nobody deserves their name on his wrist anyway.

“Soulmates are a ridiculous concept,” Logan tells him, emphasising the large words proudly, and Emile giggles because he’s seen Logan pondering dictionaries in his spare time.

( He giggles a little less when Logan comes home talking about the new kid at school, about how he’s called Roman Prince, about how Logan’s name looks like a galaxy on his wrist and it’s beautiful.)

“Yeah, well, you’ve always got me,” Remy says with a grin, “romance sucks. You’re safe from hearing about it with me.”

“You can talk about it if you want,” Emile replies, but is grateful nonetheless.

T hey spend their days complaining about their teacher, doing homework in thick coloured pen, then playing Crystal Gems in the local park. There’s no expectations, and nobody looks too long at Emile’s blank wrist for it to be a bother.

H e’s eight when he sees a Spare for the first time. An elderly woman with a bright spotted walking stick, a pink shawl around her shoulders. He stops to fanboy over her Pearl keyring, talking about how much he loves that show, talking about cartoons and fantasy novels.

“Such a bright boy,” she tells his parents, and he puffs his chest out proudly, “though he’s wrong, the best fusion is definitely Opal.”

E mile is so busy spluttering and trying to argue that he almost misses the sight of her bare wrists, no names written on her dark wrinkled skin.

“Mummy, she was like me,” he says.

“Yes, you both liked your cartoons!”

“No, mummy, she had a blank wrist!”

L ogan tells him he shouldn’t have said it, that it was rude to point it out. His mother starts crying, saying that the woman was different, that Emile wasn’t a Spare . Later his father tells him to be careful with what he says, even though Emile is confused.

“Why is being a Spare so bad?” he asks.

( He sees an announcement that a cartoon loving woman is dead three weeks later in the newspaper. A funeral is arranged by her estranged brother, but when Emile goes past the funeral that day he notices the only people to turn up are the brother and his soulmate.)

H e hears more people say the word now he’s getting older. He’s half way to the “ cut off” point, and there are whispers. The other kids talk behind his back at school, and the whispers follow him home, where he lies awake at night hearing his parents sob about how they have a Spare as a son.

“Ignore them,” Logan tells him, “you’ll get there when you get there.”

He watches Logan laugh at Roman’s jokes, watches Roman listen to Logan’s music choices, the two watching musicals and sci-fi films on YouTube at every given chance. He’s happy for his brother, and agrees that his name looks like a galaxy against Roman’s wrist. Purple and black and blue, but shining brighter than any star he could name.

E mile dives further into cartoons and fantasy, away from the love of his parents, his mother’s name s carlet and bold, his father’s milky and bright as the moon. Away from the love of his brother and Roman, red and galaxy mixing beautifully when they link arms. Away from the world of soulmates, so he can pretend he’s normal.

R emy is always there, always arguing with people over whether Disney should s top using soulmate marks in their shows. Does it matter who Moana is destined to be with, after all? But Emile doesn’t mind so much, content to watch fantasy people have fantasy adventures, content to imagine that the concept of soulmate marks is just part of the fantasy.

R emy meets October in the summer before they start middle school.

They’re playing on the swings, excited to be moving up in the world. And then a boy with wild black curls comes up shyly, holding out his wrist, where Remy’s name is scrawled in messy capital letters, the colour of ground coffee beans.

“October?” Remy asks, and Emile knows he’s the second choice from then on out.

T o his credit, October – or Toby, as he likes to be called – is lovely. He passes no judgements on Emile’s blank wrist, never mentions the concept of Spares , and turns out to be a Disney fan. He fits into their group seamlessly, as natural as the rise of the moon, and Emile knows Remy’s never been happier.

M iddle School is a nightmare. Emile quickly realises he’s the only one in the building with a blank wrist, and finds himself hiding it under cardigans and bracelets. He pretends to be shy, changes topics from soulmates to cartoons, and makes sure to clap and respond politely when people around him start meeting their soulmates.

“I get it, it’s a big deal for them,” he assures Logan, who looks so concerned these days, “if they’re as happy as you and Roman are then that’s all that matters!”

“I’m happy if you’re happy,” Logan tells him, and hugs him tightly.

B ut Emile’s thirteenth birthday approaches quick, and Emile’s parents are on edge, each day checking his wrist, sometimes subtly, sometimes just grabbing it outright.

“He’s a Spare,” he hears his father sob, “was it something we did, do you think? I read that too much sugar in infantry-”

“Maybe I ate too much fish whilst pregnant with him?” his mother suggests, “some people say-”

T hey don’t know Emile can hear them, and Emile feels bitter when they pretend to be happy the next day. He wants to call them out, but fears their reactions too much. What if they’re angry with him? What if they decide it must be his fault?

H e’s crying a week before his thirteenth birthda y alone in the toilets at school. He’s supposed to be at Band, but instead he’s wishing he had a name instead of just a blank wrist.

“What’s wrong?”

He looks up at the voice, vaguely recognising the kid looking at him. They share a few classes, he’s pretty sure. A boy with dark hair, dark eyes and vitiligo across his dark face. If not for the flashes of yellow in his clothes he could blend in with the night better than Lapis Lazuli with the ocean.

“I’m a Spare,” he whispers, wiping his eyes, “I turn thirteen next week and I don’t have a name. My parents are going to be so disappointed.”

T he boy hums, and Emile sees the name Virgil Knight flash across his wrist, patchy purple and swirly.

“Parents suck. Does it matter that much that you have a name?”

Emi le shrugs. “Logan says it doesn’t, but my parents d isagree.”

“Logan Picani, right?” the boy tilts his head, “he’s the kid dating Roman, the drama club guy?”

E mile nods. “My brother. I’m Emile Picani.”

The kid hums, then grins, walking over and grabbing Emile’s arm before he can protest. Out comes a pen, and then Emile has Deceit Hart on his wrist.

“Well, Emile, looks like you have a name. And yes, that’s my real name. My mother was angry because dad cheated on her, and I got the lifelong reminder.”

He says it dryly, but also tiredly, as if he’s had to explain this a hundred times. And if he’s telling the truth, then he probably has.

“Later, Emile.”

H e rushes home to show them his “soulmate mark”. Logan looks suspicious, but plays along, whilst his parents gush, too happy and relieved to question why it looks a little more inky than the average mark. Roman is there, and leans over. The drama club guy.

“Hey, Deceit. I know his brother!”

Remy insists that Deceit start joining them at lunch. After all, Toby did, so Emile’s soulmate should as well! And Emile is certain that Deceit is going to spill the beans, out Emile as a Spare, but instead he grins and accepts the invitation, fitting in with the group so casually that Emile is almost convinced he really is his soulmate.

Deceit goes over the lines every day, and his own sleeves get longer, covering the name Virgil Knight, so nobody can argue that the two are soulmates. Emile feels bad for Virgil, whoever he is. He tries bringing it up with Deceit, pointing out that he can’t lie to his future soulmate.

“Virgil can deal with it,” the boy says dryly, “you can’t be the soulmate of someone called Deceit and not expect a few lies, can you?”

Three months later his parents insist on meeting Deceit, wanting to know what their son’s soulmate is like. Roman talks about Deceit’s brother, a kid in his and Logan’s year called Patton, who Logan speaks fondly of as well.

“I admit, I didn’t know Deceit had you as his soulmate,” Roman says, “I would’ve thought I’d noticed!”

Emile tries to laugh, but the lie still tastes bad on his tongue.

It doesn’t stop him helping to cover up Deceit’s soulmate mark with make up, then going over the now-blank wrist with a pink sharpie, his own name now looping over someone’s wrist.

“Pretty,” Deceit comments.

“I guess.”

Emile introduces Deceit to his parents, and Deceit is perfect, on his best behaviour, smiling and cracking jokes and showing interest in everything his family says. Emile wishes Deceit really could be his soulmate, and wishes he could be sure that Deceit isn’t lying about, well, everything.

“See? Not so bad. And now your name is on someone!” Deceit grins afterwards, holding up his wrist, the pink still as bright as it was when Emile first applied it.

“I feel bad lying though,” Emile mutters, “and what are you going to do when you meet Virgil?”

“I’ll just discuss it with him. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

Deceit says it confidently, and Emile thinks that’s his favourite part about Deceit. The confidence. Deceit never hesitates, never backs down, never hides how he feels. He’s chosen to represent their year group in a debate competition, along with Toby, and the two go to the finals against Logan and Patton.

(Brother versus brother!)

Logan reassures Emile that it’s ok if he wants to support his soulmate rather than his brother, and Emile can’t help but resent the statement.

But he supports Deceit regardless, because he’s convincing. He’s loud and convinced from the start that his side is right.

It’s a silly debate, really. The school have tried to keep it light, so two thirteen year olds are arguing that you should skip a wedding to go for an interview for your dream job, whilst two fifteen year olds argue that you should go to the wedding and support your friends.

“He believed in egoism – or, acting in your own self interest,” explains Deceit, smirking because he’s got everyone’s attention.

“But that’s wrong!” Patton protests, whilst Logan looks annoyed at having to reign in someone so emotional.

“No. You’re wrong.”

Emile’s heart flutters a little at how confidently Deceit can say such a bold statement – and to his own family member!

Deceit and Toby win, though really all Toby did was agree with what Deceit was saying. It was to be expected, in a way, because Deceit manages to get Mr Sanders, who is supposed to be the neutral judge, to agree with him.

“You’ve got a talent,” Logan says afterwards, whilst Patton hugs his brother tightly, “you should join the debate club. I’m happy to put in a recommendation for you to be Captain next year.”

“Nah, I’m not that fond of debating,” Deceit says, and they all know it’s a lie, because he accepts Logan’s recommendation, and the next year takes over the position.

“You’ll be in High School too soon,” Logan points out to Emile, “make sure you let them know Deceit’s your soulmate, that way you’ll be put into the same classes.”

(Emile shifts awkwardly, and Logan considers mentioning that he knows Emile isn’t Deceit’s soulmate. But he lets it go, because if his brother’s happy then that’s all that matters.)

Deceit and Emile keep up the lie throughout middle school, going on double dates with Remy and Toby in their final year, two pairs of fifteen year olds arguing over which Disney movie to watch at the cinema. Emile likes it, likes holding hands with Deceit, likes the kiss on the cheek he receives at the end.

“We’ll still be friends after you meet Virgil, right?” he asks timidly one night.

The four at at his house for a sleepover, Remy and Toby having fallen asleep during Lilo and Stitch two hours ago. The make up has smudged enough that the purple letters are just visible, and Emile’s heart aches at the idea of losing his wannabe-soulmate.

“Best friends,” Deceit promises, and kisses Emile’s forehead, “forever.”

It’s the summer before they start High School, Remy and Toby finally making themselves official, and celebrating with a week away at Toby’s grandparents’ house, a pretty cottage by the sea.

“Have fun!” Emile hugs Remy tightly, “I’m so jealous of you guys, find a pretty seashell for me, would you?”

Toby laughs as Remy returns the hug. “We can manage that,” he assures Emile, “text us if you reach your growth spurt whilst we’re gone, ok?”

“I hate you,” Emile snaps, but laughs nonetheless when his three friends crowd around him, knowing he’s easily two inches shorter than them all.

“Use protection,” Deceit teases Remy, nudging Toby in the ribs, “try wait until Wednesday.”

Emile smacks him lightly around the head, and Deceit laughs. Deceit had already turned sixteen, whilst Remy and Toby shared a birthday. Emile still had two months to go.

“Watch it, or I’ll keep you filled in,” Remy warns, but his eyes sparkle.

“Ooh, fill me, yes please-”

“Dee!”

And then for a week it’s just the fake soulmates, starting each day redoing each others’ names and planning what to do.

“I think I might dye my hair when my parents go for their anniversary this weekend,” Emile says, “what do you think?”

“What colour?”

“Pink.”

“You’ll look fantastic. I was thinking of keying our local politician’s car.”

“That’s illegal.”

“And?”

Roman walks in on them dying Emile’s hair, and calls to Logan, saying that Deceit’s clearly a bad influence on his little brother, smiling nonetheless.

“Oh yes, a terrible influence,” Deceit says dryly, running pink through the tips, “after we dye his hair pink we’re going to get our ears pierced and spray Trans Rights over our headteacher’s car.”

“That’s illegal,” Logan points out, and doesn’t understand why Emile and Deceit burst out laughing.

The pair do both things. They go to the local Claire’s to get piercings, knowing it’s not the best place but doing it anyway. The lady coos over their soulmate marks, talks sadly about how her niece is a Spare, and Deceit loudly proclaims that his brother is a Spare, and how rude it is when people use the word.

“It’s just a blank wrist,” he snaps, and pays half what he’s meant to, despite Emile trying to convince him.

“I didn’t know Patton was...”

“Oh, he’s not, I just didn’t want to out you.”

They go over to Deceit’s home to get spray paint, and Emile sees the faint chicken scratch on Patton’s wrist, decorated with drawn-on flowers. Patton sees him looking and hides his wrist.

“I think there’s more in my room,” he tells Deceit, who hurries off, then turns to Emile, “...I know you’re not my brother’s soulmate.”

Emile almost throws up, a deer caught in the headlights. How are you supposed to react when you’re called out on a three year long lie? “I’m sorry,” he whispers.

“Don’t be, I’m sure it was Dee’s idea. But I hope you two know what you’re going to do when he meets Virgil.”

Virgil Knight became Emile’s nightmare. The idea of someone who would walk into his best friend’s life, reveal the lies, and walk away with everything Emile wanted.

He began to resent Virgil, tried to imagine him as someone particularly ugly, or stupid, or nasty, someone that Deceit wouldn’t want. He knows Deceit knows his thoughts, because when deep in his hatred of the mystery soulmate he finds Dee squeezing his hand gently, thumb tracing the fake soulmate mark.

Toby and Remy return from their trip with three sacks of shells, and lie them out on Remy’s bedroom floor for Deceit and Emile to enjoy.

“Take as many as you like,” Remy tells them, and Deceit picks up a translucent pink one, feeling the spiral and the perfectly smooth interior.

“Emile, this one’s almost as beautiful as you,” he says, and Emile flushes as he takes it.

(He puts it up on his bookshelf at home, and gently holds it to his chest every night before he sleeps.)

Deceit flirts a lot with him over the summer, and he knows it’s intentional, because Deceit grins at him every time, sly and mischievous.

“You can’t do that,” he protests one day towards the end, “what would Virgil think?”

“No idea, never met him,” Deceit replies breezily, “more importantly, what do you think?”

“Huh?”

“What do you think? Like...say I kissed you, what would you think?”

Emile goes red, changes the topic, and tries to ignore the way Deceit’s face falls for a fraction of a second.

They don’t bring it up again.

And then Virgil Knight makes his appearance two weeks into their High School life.

“Deceit?”

The four look up at a tall gangly emo kid, smudged mascara and almost entirely hidden underneath a band hoodie.

“Whatever it is, I probably did it, and definitely don’t regret it,” Deceit says instantly.

“No – I mean...you’re Deceit Hart, right?”

Deceit nods, taking a bite out of his sandwich, and Emile knows what’s about to happen before the words are out of the emo’s mouth.

“I’m Virgil Knight. I...I’m your soulmate.”

Emile’s life falls apart in slow motion.

First, Remy tells Virgil he’s wrong, because Emile is Deceit’s soulmate, and shows Virgil his wrist.

Then Remy sees the name is smudged, because for the first time in three years Emile’s fake soulmate mark has smudged, as if it knew what was about to happen.

Next, Virgil rounds on Deceit, demanding to know why his name is on someone else.

Toby is in shock, staring as the scene unfolds.

Remy is yelling, Virgil is crying, people are watching.

And Deceit is silent throughout, looking thoughtful, as if debating on what to say, as if anything could make this situation anything less than humiliating and painful.

“Nice to meet you Virgil,” he says finally, “this is Emile, he’s my best friend.”

Virgil explodes, and Emile later compares it to when Pearl gets popped and her clone goes nuts.

Virgil is screaming, grabbing Deceit’s wrist, seeing the make up cover up his name, demanding to know why Deceit doesn’t want his actual soulmate.

Emile, Deceit and Virgil are sent to the headteacher, who takes Virgil’s side, pointing out that lying about your soulmate is a crime in some countries. He asks Emile who his real soulmate is, and realises a moment later that Emile just has a blank wrist.

“It was my idea,” Deceit says quickly, seeing the tone of the headteacher change rapidly, “please don’t get mad at Emile, this whole thing is because of my actions.”

Emile is sent home nonetheless, and his parents alternate between being furious and being distraught. He can’t tell if they’re upset he lied to them, or if they’re upset because he’s a Spare.

“I can’t believe you’re blank,” his mother sobs, “you’re a – how could – my own son is a Spare!”

His father comforts his mother, and Emile quickly realises where the two stand. There’s anger inside him, boiling up, bitter and dark. It wasn’t fair that they were crying over his blank wrists, it wasn’t fair that everyone’s ideas of him changed when they found out he was a Spare.

“Everyone at school thinks it’s your fault,” Remy tells him down the phone, “...you could have told me you were lying, you know.”

“I’m sorry,” whispers Emile, “I didn’t think it’d get so...like this...”

“We’ve been friends forever, Em! You shouldn’t have hid this from me!”

“I’m sorry.”

He hates having to tell Logan, and cries as he does,

“I’m not angry at you,” Logan reassures him, “though it was a reckless decision to make. Is it really so bad to have blank wrists?”

“I don’t want to be a Spare,” Emile snaps, “you don’t know what it’s like, Lo, when everyone makes a thousand judgements at once because part of your skin is blank. It doesn’t feel good! I hate it! I hate everyone! I hate myself!”

(He cries late into the night.)

Remy and Toby approach him the next day at school, wrapping their arms around him gently.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

“We’re not angry at you,” Toby says quickly, “or Dee, really. It was a dumb thing to do, but...yeah...”

“Just tell us next time,” Remy says gently, “it hurt, Em, no lie. But we still love you. Just...be honest with us in future.”

Emile is grateful for his friends, because Deceit has been removed from his classes, placed into ones with Virgil. He hears nothing from Deceit for three days straight, and he’s so convinced that Deceit has dropped him now he has Virgil.

Then Deceit breaks into his bedroom late at night, looking worse for wear, with dark circles under his eyes and a bruised cheek.

“Surprise!”

“Dee, breaking into places is illegal.”

“I know.”

Emile hugs him tightly, and cries softly when Deceit pulls him close, soft and firm and warm and perfect.

“Why didn’t you message me?”

“My brother took my phone,” mutters Deceit, sitting down and pulling Emile onto his lap, “says I need to learn to be responsible.”

“Your cheek-”

“Yeah, turns out my mum considers the whole lying about your soulmate thing to be a lot like cheating. Virgil agrees, so I’m kinda outnumbered. I, uh, don’t think Virgil expected her to react so badly though.”

Emile presses a gentle kiss to Dee’s bruise.

“What’s Virgil like?”

“Annoying. I mean, he’s cool and all, but being forced to spend all your time with an emo whose life revolves around My Chemical Romance is a pain. Plus he’s really angry with me, and we have nothing in common except for a love of Harry Potter. And he doesn’t even know what house he is!”

Emile laughs, because out of everything Deceit could be annoyed about, the Hogwarts House seems to have gotten him the most worked up.

“-And I said, maybe he was a Hufflepuff! But nope, he rejected that too!”

“Tell him he’s a Hufflepunk,” suggests Emile, “he might prefer that.”

Deceit pouts. “No way, there’s only one Hufflepunk in my life.” And he runs a hand through Emile’s pink hair, smiling softer than Emile’s ever seen.

“...I wish you really were my soulmate,” Emile confesses.

“I don’t,” mutters Deceit, “the whole thing is stupid, being made to be close to someone just because you have their name on you...”

“My name’s been on you for three years.”

“That’s different. You were a choice.”

Later, neither would be sure of who kissed who first, but Emile likes to think he made the first move, clumsy and awkward, lips meeting Deceit’s in a silent declaration of love.

“Then choose me again,” Emile whispers, pleads, and Deceit kisses him back.

To say Virgil dislikes this turn of events would be an understatement. Emile can’t blame him – to be told your whole life that you would meet a person who would love you forever, and then that person turns around and says no?

“I’d still like to be friends,” Deceit tells him quickly, “you seem great, and I’m happy to have met you, I just-”

“I can’t believe that between me and a Spare, you chose the Spare.”

“Don’t call him that.”

“I’m meant to be your only choice,” mutters Virgil, “not second to some...blank wristed nobody.”

Deceit rolls his eyes. “I can choose who I like. And I choose Emile, blank wrist and all.”

Virgil makes his dislike of Deceit and Emile obvious from then on, and does his best to avoid them, but destiny forces soulmates together one way or another, and within a year Virgil gives up on avoiding them, instead calling a truce of sorts.

Remy and Toby are silently thankful throughout that their own lives have a lot less drama in them.

Roman is happy for Deceit and Emile, simply stating that he finds the choice a lot more romantic than a typical soulmate meeting.

Patton comes around eventually, but it puts a rift between the brothers, and Virgil becomes closer to Patton pretty quickly.

“What university are you applying for?” Deceit asks Virgil when the time comes, “I want to make sure I’m applying elsewhere.”

“Fuck off,” snaps Virgil, “I’m not sharing anything with you.”

(So of course they end up applying to the same places, and Virgil goes to Patton in distress, complaining about how the universe hated him and that destiny was out to get him.)

“We’re just doomed to keep running into Virgil,” Deceit tells Emile, Remy and Toby, “I hate it.”

“Maybe you guys will be friends, eventually,” Toby suggests.

“Maybe.”

Emile’s parents never quite get over having a Spare for a child. They get Emile to specialists all over the country, as if that could do anything, until Logan puts his foot down, demanding they stop putting so much pressure on him to be “normal”.

Emile goes to the same university as Logan, eagerly telling his friends about his plans to study psychology there.

“I’m thinking of becoming a therapist,” he says, “I think I’d be good at it.”

“I think so too,” Remy says, smiling.

“You’re good at lots of things,” Deceit comments, and winks, “but does this mean I’ll be able to call you doctor and get you to-”

“Dee, if you end that how I think you’re going to end that, I’ll kill you,” Toby says seriously.

“Kinky,” Emile and Deceit say at the same time, and Toby gets up and leaves.

“That makes no sense!” they hear him yell, and Remy just shakes his head.

Deceit gets a snake tattooed around his wrist, covering up Virgil’s name. In response, Virgil gets a band of music notes over a galaxy sky, covering up Deceit’s.

“Want me to get your name tattooed?” Deceit asks Emile one day, the pair lazing about on a hot summer day.

“Not really. I’ve had enough of names,” Emile holds up his own blank wrists, “besides, then I’d get yours done, and I’ve come to like my blank wrists.”

“I like them too,” Deceit says, capturing them lightly and kissing Emile, “though they’d look even more pretty wrapped up in rope...”

Emile shakes his head, mutters that Deceit has no chill, and kisses him back. And if he deepens the kiss a little and mentions where Deceit might find some rope, then, well...that’s just a bonus.

There is no ending to their story, of course not.

Emile is a Spare, and every time someone sees his wrists they do a double take, look at him in sympathy, or offer him the number of a doctor that definitely knows how to “cure” that sort of thing. As if having no name was equal to an illness.

(Emile eventually starts explaining to these people that he is a doctor, and he knows better than to trust any that claim they can cure the lack of a soulmate mark.)

Deceit’s name is covered up, and someone will always whisper about it, expecting some sort of story behind it. And there is, yes, but Deceit has a dramatic flair and prefers to give over the top excuses every time.

(Eventually Emile convinces him to start writing his stories, and his books become world famous.)

Logan and Roman get married, a typical soulmate story, and Emile begs to be a bridesmaid.

Patton meets his soulmate, and Virgil ends up joining them in a polyamorous relationship of sorts. There’s never any real forgiveness between Virgil and Deceit, but the two can’t stop running into each other and eventually create their own terms of peace.

Remy and Toby don’t get married, but stay friends with the pair throughout their life, because as Deceit and Emile know, sometimes it’s the people you choose that you’re closest to.

“I’m glad I chose you,” Deceit tells Emile each morning, waking him up with kisses and a squeeze of the hand. Emile smiles every time, knowing exactly what he means.

“I love you too.”

#emile picani #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #...what is the ship name #demile #i think #soulmate au #implication of abuse at end #virgil is understandably a dick #angst #angst with a happy ending #remy sanders #deceit is a bad influence #deceit has too much confidence #listen to my bad excuses for not giving dee a normal name #human au #deceit says fuck destiny

38 notes · View notes

thetygre · 6 years ago

Photo

30 Day Monster Challenge 2 - Day #15: Favorite Great Old One/Monster God

1. Nurgle the Great Unclean One (Warhammer)

I think you can tell a lot about a person by knowing which of the Chaos Gods is there favorite. I’m not saying there’s a right answer, but I’ve always been a Nurgle man myself. Nurgle is more than just the daemon god of disease and entropy; he’s the god of the value of life. Nurgle loves all of his children equally, down to the smallest virus. It can be hard for people to accept that, to realize that they have as much cosmic significance as a single-cell organism, but that’s just because they don’t realize how much love the Urfather has for that little cell. In Nurgle’s phlegmatic embrace, all of us are equal, regardless of race, gender, or cell count.

Nurgle asks only that you spread the love he has so willingly given, so that all may be his children. Death and disease are natural parts of life; we struggle to fight them so, but they always come back to us. Through Nurgle, we may exalt in the power of pus and the greatness gangrene. We grow stronger with each infection, and every tumor is a sign of endurance. We do not die when the Plague Bearer calls us; we merely transform for the vermin and bacteria that consumes us, to be reborn in the eternal cycle. Truly, Grandfather Nurgle moves in wondrous ways.

2. Ithaqua the Wind Walker (August Derleth)

It should come as no surprise that the god of all wendigos is one of my favorite Great Old Ones. The Ithaqua Cycle is probably the best thing August Derleth wrote, for what ever that’s worth. Ithaqua is just such a chilling god; the image of some skull-faced giant thing turning around a mountain is the stuff of nightmares. Ithaqua is the primal urge inside life, the need to do anything to survive in an unrelenting environment. He walks in the cold places of the world, but also in that cold space between worlds, spreading his cannibalistic madness from world to world. Ithaqua himself seems hardly necessary, or the countless wendigos that follow him. It’s the chaos and horror he causes between people in a desperate situation, pitting one man against the other and breaking taboos until only the strongest is left. Ithaqua is the cold and brutality of the North personified.

3. Lolth the Queen of the Demonweb Pits (Dungeons and Dragons)

Lilith is so pastiche these days. You know where the real rebellious queen of evil action is at? Spiders, man, and Lolth is the Spider Queen. Lolth has been in Dungeons and Dragons since the beginning. Wherever the dark elves go, Lolth goes too, like any deity, and her absence from a setting is noticeable. She’s one of D&D’s greatest villains, and countless adventurers have lost their lives in the Demonweb Pits. Her entire realm is an arachnid hell crawling with spiders as small a mite to as big as her spider-golem palace. Lolth is an entity of contrasts; her priesthood is a strict matriarchy, but Lolth herself is absolutely insane. It’s hard to tell if there’s anything left of the elf goddess she used to be. Beneath the layers of scheming, beauty, racially motivated hatred, and plans to conquer the known multiverse lies a beating heart of blind hunger, an overwhelming instinct to survive by strength alone.

4. Saaitii the Hog (William Hope Hodgson)

Saaitii is actually what got this particular entry in the challenge. See, I wanted to do just ‘Top 10 Great Old Ones’, but then I was worried that not everybody would know what the Great Old Ones are and it’s kind of an arbitrary category that Lovecraft wanted people to change from story-to-story for fun, so then I just broadened the category to ‘monster gods’ and now here we are. Anyway, Saaitii is a monster that William Hope Hodgson’s occult detective Thomas Carnacki encountered in his monster-hunting stories. The locals tell Carnacki that Saaitii is the ghost of a boar wrongfully killed long ago, but Carnacki suspects that it’s an extradimensional something using the spirits of dead hogs to try and come through.

First off, I just want to know what William Hope Hodgson’s deal with pigs was. This is explicitly his second pig monster story, following the pig men from The House on the Borderlands. But the usage of that aesthetic is definitely refreshing a little unsettling. In an age of meme-tentacles, we need new and different cosmic horrors. Pigs can be disturbing; we think of them as cute at best and filthy at worst, but rarely evil or malevolent. Even the meanest boar has a kind of nobility to it. But the Hog brings up images of mindless, vicious cruelty, dark things in the forest and filth. The concept of a higher life form like some extradimensional whatsit coming into our world through ‘lower’ lifeforms strikes a little close to the karmic bullseye for some, turning the tables on humanity and reminding us that in the eyes of the cosmos, we’re just so much more food.

5. Ogdru Jahad the Seven Who Are One (Hellboy)

You’d think there’d be more dragons on the list, but so far it’s just the one. Seven. 369. Whatever. The Ogdru Jahad are the Hellboy/BPRD universes Great Old Ones, and the source of… a sizable amount of trouble there. Not all of it, but most of it. At the dawn of time, the Sons of God formed the mud of creation into seven great dragons that were filled with the shadow of the moon, for whatever reason. Things would have been fine and dandy there, but one little angel named Satan, for reasons that are still unclear, took the fire of God and filled the dragon with it, giving the Ogdru Jahad life. The Ogdru Jahad birthed their 369 offspring, and the angels had to fight them off before the whole Creation thing could get rolling. From that day on, every human culture has been warned about the Ogdru Jahad, and they have been ingrained in the human consciousness as the Dragon, from Tiamat to the Beast of Revelations.

It’s a nice fusion of Judeo-Christian Biblical lore and cosmic horror. I honestly don’t think it would work if it wasn’t for the fact that Satan is notably absent from the Hellboy series and, as of BPRD: Hell on Earth, the Ogdru Jahad are winning, where even their smallest children can cause natural disasters. I love conflating the image of dragons with cosmic monsters. Cthulhu as Leviathan, flying polyps as oriental dragons, hunting horrors as wyverns; it’s a direct play to the archetype that both types of creatures fill. The Ogdru Jahad illustrate that perfectly, simultaneously something the most modern of cosmic horror and the most ancient of monsters.

6. Flowey the Flower (Undertale)

Flowey’s final form gets in on design alone. There aren’t a lot of monster designs that actually freak me out, but Flowey is just horrible. Of course that’s also because it’s a genius bit of sprite animation, with the usage of textures contrasting so hard with the rest of Undertale. It looks like something that ate its way inside out from at least three Madoka witches. The claws, the eyes, the mouths; it all makes something perfectly awful and abhorrent. And, of course, the music. I actually think Flowey’s boss theme rates pretty low compared to other Undertale boss themes, but the title is just something else. How are you supposed to do better than “Your Best Nightmare”?

7. Rom the Vacuous Spider (Bloodborne)

It’s Rom. C’mon. Look, I know she’s not actually a Great One; she’s Kin, like Mergo’s Wet Nurse. But look at her. When I think, “What’s my favorite eldritch monstrosity boss from Bloodborne?” I keep coming back to Rom. Just look at her dumb, stupid face. One of her attacks is just falling over. That’s the most relatable a video game has been for me since I was an undergrad. Rom doesn’t want to hurt anybody; she’s just a giant, stupid bug/fungus thing. You could just walk away, man. You could just leave poor Rom alone. She’s doing her best trying to grant people eyes and you’re over here hassling her. In front of her kids, man. Just leave her alone.

8. Moder the Bastard of Loki (The Ritual)

Y’know, as a jotun, this guy could have been on the giant list, but I feel like its design and concept are too unique for that. This is a special monster, a kind of revelatory creature. Its design is just out of this world, blending human and stag and those creepy little eyes. But there’s so much more to it than just a great design. Its ability to create illusions essentially gives it access to shapeshifting, tying it to the actual mythology of Loki and Norse giants. The actual ritual to appease Moder, where it picks a person up and impales them on a tree, is reminiscent of the story in Norse mythology where Odin impales himself on the World Tree Yggdrasil to gain the knowledge of the runes. Before a person is killed, Moder shows them something precious to them, or a defining moment in their life; it is, in its own way, giving the person a revelation about what is vital in their own universe. Moder, like any good monster, delivers a message about the meaning of reality to the people it encounters.

9. Set the Slithering God (Conan the Barbarian/Marvel Comics)

I like this comic book version of a god. The actual Egyptian deity Set is fairly complex, and actually examining his character and divine portfolio gives insight into how Egypt’s culture changes over time. Comic book Set, on the other hand, is the god of snake villains. He is the snake villain to end all snake villains. Marvel cooked him up for their old Conan comics based off an offhand mention in one of Robert E. Howard’s stories because they needed Conan to have a nemesis. So Conan’s nemesis, the arch-wizard/priest Thoth Amon, worships the dark god Set, regardless of the fact that Thoth Amon appeared exactly once in the very first Conan story. Now, it’s fifty years later and Set is apparently one of Marvel’s Primordial Ultra-Deities.

It’s that mixture of traditional myth and the cosmic I like again, though this time it’s less H.P. Lovecraft ‘cosmic horror’ and more Jack Kirby ‘cosmic action��; new gods and a new mythology for a new medium, but still the same old story. Set is the Serpent, like the Ogdru Jahad, manifesting in human lore as everything from the serpent in Eden to Leviathan. He was the first murderer, able to absorb the power of any other god he ate, and even today he seeks reptile supremacy. Wherever there is Set there are snakes, enacting the cosmic cycle of death and rebirth while lounging in decadence.

10. Haos the Ultimate Bio-Weapon (Resident Evil 6)

… We’re going to do this now, and then we’re never going to do it again. Because we’re going to talk about something good that was in Resident Evil 6. One of the most infuriating things about RE6 is that it had some of the most incredible monster designs in the Resident Evil series. Great designs. The kind of monster designs that other games only wish they could achieve. And they were wasted on one of the worst games the series has produced. One of those designs was Haos, the apparent ultimate bio-weapon engineered by (ugh) Neo-Umbrella in a secret facility at the bottom of the ocean good lord I’m putting this on a list with William Hope Hodgson.

Haos deserves a better game; its design is unnecessarily fantastic. It looks like a ningen crossed with a jellyfish. It’s some far future stage of human evolution driven to its most extreme and bizarre form. There’s something forlorn and sad about it, but also beautiful and powerful. Its concept is purely apocalyptic; Haos will rise from the bottom of the ocean before it finally dies and dissolves into a gas that will spread across the world, turning humanity into zombies and monsters. Herald of a world of gods and monsters and all that. Even its name is kind of cool; ‘Haos’ is literally Siberian for ‘chaos’. And every day I have to wake up with the knowledge that this wonderful, horrible monster was stuck at the end of a Resident Evil 6 campaign. It’s depressing. So here’s to good old Haos; at least here you’ll get some respect.

#30 Day Monster Challenge 2 #30 Day Monster Challenge #Great Old Ones #Warhammer #Nurgle #Dungeons and Dragons #Lolth #Hellboy #Undertale #long post

102 notes · View notes

passionpluto · 6 years ago

Text

My Necessarily Unnecessary Analysis of Lightning Dust (EPISODE SPOILERS)

So, I watched the Washouts last night, and there are a few things I’d like to get off my chest. Please keep in mind that most of these are about how I myself interpret Lightning Dust’s character, and you can choose to interpret her how I like. Heck, I have a whole AU story interpreting her as an AI infected by a virus that made her try to kill Rainbow Dash once, so that should show you how off-the-wall my interpretations should get.

Anyway, back in the canon world. I’m not sure if I really like (or subscribe to) the theory that Lightning planned everything as an elaborate revenge scheme against Rainbow Dash. The whole dynamic between RD and LD near the beginning/middle of the episode was gold, and it’s not something we see with MLP rivals all too often. A lot of times we get relationships like Twilight/Trixie, Twilight/Starlight, and so on--ones where both parties genuinely seem to dislike each other. A ton of LD fics predicted that she’d be the same way towards Dash, but this actually makes their relationship stand out a ton more for me. I’m a sucker for the Friendly Rivals trope, but having Lightning do what she did in order to get revenge would really simplify her character to some kind of Rainbow Dash/Trixie fusion, IMO. I find it a lot more fun to have her really stand by the fact that she got rejected from the Wonderbolts and see it as water under the bridge, and even more fun that Rainbow’s that laid-back about it. She only really “opposes” Lightning when she tries to get Scootaloo involved, and fangirls all over her before then. It really reminds me of what Gilda and Rainbow had in S1, and I find it immensely interesting that the most “competitive” pony seems to have the most low-key rivalries. I hypothesize that’s because the mare already loves friendly competition so much, she can’t really go too deep into the “hating” scale of things.

So if Lightning didn’t rope Scootaloo in out of revenge, why did she do it? I have a few theories, one of which came to me as I was reading @marvelandponder‘s excellent episode analysis. My first speculation is that Lightning isn’t just reckless, she doesn’t even really have a sense of danger to begin with. She knows that things are dangerous, but that only really seems to come after the fact (i.e. when she apologizes for the tornado). This can be differentiated from ponies like Twilight Velvet, adrenaline junkies who go on special trips to fulfill their need, but otherwise live very ordinary lives. Even IRL professional stuntspeople can be very concerned with safety, something that Lightning regularly dismisses. Now, there are brain conditions that interfere with someone’s ability to sense fear, and hence danger, but they’re extremely rare IRL and I’ll apply that same logic to LD. We don’t really know why she goes to extremes, pardon my Billy Joel referencing, but what we do know is that she does, and for whatever reason, can’t comprehend the effect it has on others.

So that opens us up to one theory: for whatever reason, the whole idea that “strapping a filly to an untested rocket you probably bought from Trixie’s backalley operation” doesn’t register to her as something to fear. If anything, it’s something fun, a cool way to show off. And that brings us to our second theory.

@marvelandponder has suggested that Scootaloo might not be a child in this episode--with the time inconsistencies MLP often has, she could be a preteen or even teen. Placed in this context, Scootaloo’s stunt might make more sense--after all, adults dare younger people to do smaller-scale dangerous stunts all the time. Think of the latest dumb YouTube challenge you’ve come across, and wonder why in the world some adult would come up with such an idea. A lot of times, it might be out of sheer recklessness, but other times, it might just be to develop a following or to look cool to the kids. This is where, I feel, Lightning lines up.

Even if she doesn’t hate Dash, I think it’s highly possible she still has some desire to beat her in something. At the beginning of the episode, Lightning outright rejects Scootaloo’s request to join the Washouts and says “you’re cute” in a way that suggests she’s aware of how young Scoots is. If anything, that remark’s infantilizing her even more. (Not that that’s a bad thing--the term “Cutealoo” exists for a reason.) But once Rainbow takes her out to see Spitfire, Lightning’s tone noticeably changes. Something about Dash protecting Scootaloo sets her off--and while some fans think it’s out of blind hatred, I feel it’s something else. Throughout the rest of the episode, Lightning treats Scootaloo as a grown pony, and with how reckless she is, I can’t help but feel that maybe, just maybe, she went through something similar in her adolescence. She probably was super rebellious and had a lot of adults tell her no, so maybe then she realized that she could beat Rainbow at being the “cool older friend.” The one who never tells on you, who lets you do anything.

Does this excuse her actions? Hell no. A lot of times, having one of these “cool adult friends” can lead to all kinds of trouble down the road, and adults absolutely should step in to make sure minors don’t get into too much trouble. But it helps flesh it out a little more than just having her be a one-dimensional villain who did it for the evils. She very well could have seen it as “would I have wanted to try this stunt out at her age” and, knowing Lightning’s personality, the answer would have definitely been “yes.”

So no, I wouldn’t say LD is a villain. I’d compare her to a deadbeat parent from a comedy movie. The one who’s still barely more than a child themselves, who tries so hard to be “cool” and appeal to their child that they go in the other direction, with a ton of hijinks and stunts involved. A character from a bad Adam Sandler movie, if you will. Reckless, foolhardy, and dangerous to children, but you can’t really call them evil. They just need a ton of straightening out, a lot of growing up to do, and a good smack upside the head if neither of that works.

Hey, it’s better than a FULL BODY HOOF AND WING CAST, right?

#mlp:fim #lightning dust #my post #long post #this was longer than it had any right to be but i'm proud of it #the washouts

11 notes · View notes

janusdeceit-sanders · 7 years ago

Text

Radioactive

hi i’m here to ruin everything you love

AU: Punk, highschool AU

Pairing: Established Logicality mentions, one-sided Prinxiety, not to spoil but... Princeit

Warnings: Alcohol mention, Deceit’s in this and he doesn’t have a different name becus i’m lazy, unrequited love, swearing

:+:+:+:

So, the cool popular kids were having a party at this guy’s house because he’s rich and his parents were out of town, and everybody was invited.

Virgil wasn’t going to go. Not the slightest of desires to go to that party surfaced when Patton came up to him and Logan squealing about it. Parties weren’t Virgil’s scene, and neither were they Logan’s.

Unfortunately, Patton was a lot more extraverted than the other two. He wasn’t popular, he was just friends with anyone unless they gave him reason not to, which meant that he was definitely going to go. That left Virgil and Logan to stay at home that weekend, probably watching a movie or something like that.

That sucked because Virgil really loved Patton, and he hated seeing the disappointment in his eyes when Logan told Patton that they’d rather not go with him, and then Patton trying to cover it up, saying that he was going to go with Roman and they’d have fun together anyway.

That was another issue; Roman.

Virgil liked Roman a little too much for someone who was loud and dramatic and annoying as fuck. And he had wanted to spend time with him, now that he was becoming more and more a part of their little punk group. But Roman seemed... really easily distracted, and always busy, so Virgil never had time to ever hold a proper conversation with him (one that didn’t include him listening to Roman just talk for hours without getting a single word in because he was too shy to butt in).

Logan knew all of this, but Virgil made him swear to never tell anybody. One word about it to anyone and it would spread like wildfire throughout the school. Things always did.

That was another issue. Deceit would be at the party and Virgil sure as fuck wasn’t willing to go there and risk getting harassed just so he could hang out with a guy he really likes. Deceit was a gossiper, he was responsible for all the drama at school. He always made up all the rumours, and people always believed them. He just had a way with his words.

So, that’s why Virgil was here, sitting on Logan’s couch and watching some dumb documentary about how aliens helped build the pyramids or whatever, and his night was going pretty shit. Virgil knew it was stupid but he missed his friends. He missed how Patton usually cuddled Logan on the couch and asked Virgil about his day when they hung out like this on the weekends. Heck, he missed how Roman couldn’t seem to sit still and constantly fiddled with his phone and sometimes burst out laughing because Virgil sent a funny meme into the group chat, and that little skip of Virgil’s heart when he did. Virgil loved Logan, but the couch literally felt so empty without their friends.

“We can still go, if you want to.” Logan suggested, pushing up his glasses as he checked his phone. “It won’t hurt. We can just go get Patton and Roman and leave if you get overwhelmed.”

Virgil’s heart skipped. “I don’t... I don’t really... I don’t know about this, Logan. There’s gonna be a crowd and everything...”

“That’s not any different from a concert.” Logan pointed out, and Virgil felt stupid using that excuse. Logan knew he wasn’t afraid of big crowds that much.

“...fuck... okay, you’re right. We should go. We can go.”

And so they went.

They came to the address that Patton had sent them and yep, that sure was a party. The house was huge, something Virgil had expected but holy fuck, they were rich. The doors were wide open which already told Virgil that the chances of people stealing shit here were high and the chances of these kids being drunk were even higher. Logan parked his car far away just to be safe.

Virgil felt so out of place just walking up to the house. It felt like it should've been reserved for all the popular kids only but no. Everybody was there. Virgil saw various groups of people, even the kind he'd never think would go to parties such as this. And that should've made him feel more at ease (this is basically like school with no supervision and underage drinking, right?) but it just made him feel even more uncomfortable. Now if he fucked up everybody would think he’s weird, not just the popular kids.

Logan pulled him inside the house.

It sure as shit was crowded. Less than expected but still. There were people everywhere, dancing, talking, drinking. Honestly, Virgil feared he could get lost here in seconds. He held onto Logan for support.

A familiar flash of blue hair passed by them and then quickly returned, "Oh my gosh, Logaaaaaan!" Patton clung to Logan's free arm. "Virgil! You came!"

"Hey Patton." Virgil gave a small wave.

"What are you two doing here?" Patton asked, looking up at them both.

"We got bored at home." Logan said, "So, we came here to accompany you two."

"Yeah. Speaking of Roman, where is he?" Virgil asked. Oh God, did that make him sound desperate? That made him sound really desperate. Oh God.

Patton opened his mouth to speak and then stopped. "I don't... I don't actually know."

Great. So, Roman could basically be dead at this point and nobody would know. This is why Logan was the designated babysitter and not Patton.

Patton smiled nervously. "Sorry kiddo. I could have sworn I've just seen him."

"It's fine." That's fine. Totally fine. In fact, Virgil felt like going home anyway. Let’s just grab Patton and leave and go back to Logan’s place to watch dumb midnight TV shows and fall asleep on his couch. That sounded much better.

“Logan, you wanna go dance with me?” Patton tugged on Logan’s shirt eagerly. “Come on, come on, pleeeeease?”

Logan looked back at Virgil as Patton tugged him away. He gave him a look that said something along the lines of ‘will you be okay on your own?’

“I’ll just go find Roman.” Virgil told Logan, which was only half true. He would half-heartedly look for Roman for about five minutes and then go back to Logan’s car and lock himself in and get drunk off of stolen party beer or something along those lines.

Logan nodded, “Okay, see you later, Virgil.” He said, handing Virgil the car keys. Ah, so Logan had caught onto how Virgil planned to spend his night.

“See ya. Don’t drink.” Virgil saluted Logan as he and Patton disappeared into the crowd.

So, now what?

Well, he might as well kick his anxiety in the ass and get over himself and at least attempt to find Roman. But first of all, where were people getting those beer bottles from? Virgil spotted a small table in the huge ass living room with several beer bottles on it. Most of them were empty or fallen over and spilling their contents onto the floor. Virgil grabbed one of the few that seemed to be fine. One wouldn’t hurt, right? At least it’d take his mind off the fact that he was surrounded by drunk children who were also complete strangers to him due to him never talking to anybody outside his little punk triangle-made-square.

He took a swig and went on his way.

Virgil walked to what was presumably an office area off to the right of the living room. Unfortunately, no Roman. What was there? Teens playing some dumb spin the bottle, truth or dare fusion. They sounded drunk. Off he went.

This time he went to the kitchen/dining room which was where the pizza was on the table. Unfortunately, that pizza didn’t even look remotely edible by now, which saddened Virgil’s heart. Bits were just bitten off and left all over the table, a glass of Fanta spilled over about five slices, the rest of the pizza was already long gone. Truly, a tragic image.

Off to the right again was a door that led outside into the gardens which, again, was wide open. How have these people not been robbed blind yet? If Virgil had no morals he’d steal all of this shit.

Over to the left, Logan and Patton were making out on the counter. Hmm, that didn’t look like dancing to Virgil.

Other people around them just continued about their business.

To the far left, however, was a door and a set of stairs leading down into a lower room. As Virgil ventured in, he realised that it must be a game room. A pool table stood in the middle of the room. There were kids toys in boxes under the stairs - Virgil only now realised the guy who lived here had younger siblings too - and a dog bed (where was the dog?) in the corner of the room. There was two big flatscreen TVs on either side of the room. Some nerds played some console game on one of them while the other TV was set on the main menu of Mario Kart, abandoned. That’s sad, maybe Virgil could get Logan and Patton to come down and play with him? Another table full of beer bottles stood by the stairs. These ones seemed relatively fine though.

A commotion by the pool table caught Virgil’s attention. There stood the cause of Virgil's stress, Roman and-oh.

Oh. Oh no.

Deceit stood there, holding Roman by the waist with that Godawful smirk on his face. Roman held a fistful of Deceit's shirt in his hands as people around them chanted something.

"Kiss him!" Someone shouted up from the crowd and realisation hit Virgil like a brick. No way-

Roman looked Deceit in the eyes and smiled fondly- no, no, please - and said something to him that Virgil couldn't hear over the pulse in his ears.

Roman leaned forward and Virgil hoped he wouldn't do it, that he was just teasing. He couldn't, he wouldn't just do something like this.

But then their lips met and Deceit shot Virgil the evilest look, like he knew he was destroying him right now, before he closed his eyes and deepened the kiss between he and Roman.

People hollered in the crowd.

"Get it, Deceit!"

"Get a room, you two!"

"Oooh, Roman's finally gonna get laid!"

That last one caused the crowd to burst into laughter and the two to part as Roman joined in, laughing at that terrible joke.

Roman scanned the crowd of familiar faces, his friends, people he knew well because he was popular, and Virgil wasn't popular, and he should have known Roman would get involved with those kids. Deceit was one of those kids.

Roman must have caught sight of Virgil because his cheerful expression dropped suddenly and as Virgil began walking away, Roman apologised and pushed past the crowd.

Virgil didn't want Roman to see him crying. He ignored Roman calling after him, sped up the stairs into the kitchen, walked by Patton and Logan and told them he was leaving, and he headed for the backdoor, despite his friend’s loud confusion and protests.

Logan found him locked in the car about an hour later. Virgil sat in the passenger seat with his feet up on the dashboard and the beer bottle empty in his hand. The alcohol didn't help anyway. His eye makeup was smeared and flowing down his cheeks where his tears had been. He didn't feel like talking to Logan but he unlocked the car to let him in anyway.

Logan sat in the driver's seat. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Virgil shook his head no.

"Alright." Logan exited the car and slammed the door behind him.

Virgil watched in surprise as Logan walked away. Oh God, he shouldn't have come to the party. He ruined the entire night.

:+:+:+:

if there is enough hype I might consider continuing this oneshot and make virgil suffer thru even more shit

@set-phasers-to-cuddle

#princeit #punk sanders #whoops my hand slipped #ts deceit #roman sanders #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #tw deceit #sanders sides

75 notes · View notes

tumblunni · 6 years ago

Text

Also yeah while im on the subject

I really hate fantasy settings where magic is limited by biological sex. Because usually its used to enforce some sort of stupid gender stereotype that the writer believes is "biologically innate" rather than predjudice, by making up a world where it actually is biologically innate. Or its like "oh but women cant do those jobs" but again, a made up excuse for it to be LITERALLY TRUE. And usually they either dont even touch on the subject of trans and gay people (since it often conflates heterosexuality with gender...) or else it actually does bring it up and just creates a cavalcade of even more everything-ism...

Like i mean i love the game Jade Coccoon and considering it came out in the early 2000s i can understand it being more sexist, and its supossed to be a dark game anyway and a lot of the societal structures in Syrus Village are meant to be wrong and evil even if the characters act like its the way the world should be. The villain of the game is basically the toxic atmosphere of your shitty town and their paranoia of things they don't understand. Tho that means the player kinda has no motivation to finish it cos the main conflict is also saving those same villagers from dying and theyre all fucks. Anyway i'm going offtopic! What i mena is that i dont think it was a particularly sexist example of the inexplicable gender segregated magic trope. But just cos its a fave game of mine im gonna pick it to talk about anyway. Hope i dont sound too negative on it, cos seriously i love it loads!

Ok so to use Jade Cocoon as an example, here its a thing that only men can be cocoon masters and only women can be nagi. Tho it also gets a bit complicated because nagi is also an ethnicity as well? Its kinda like being romani, they're a race of displaced people who travel the world giving their magical services to other countries while searching for their lost homeland, which you end up finding at the end of the game. So yeah its extra weird cos male children of the nagi race are born with no powers whatsoever and cant even become cocoon masters, yet they get the ruling position in this homeland place? Like thats a better metaphor for how christian societies work, honestly!

Anyway im going offtopic again!

Basically, cocoon master = adventurer dude who catches monsters, nagi = magician who purifies those monsters so you can use them in battle. So when you catch stuff it becomes an inventory item rather than being able to use it on your team right away. And also nagi women can fuse monsters together to make super badass new ones and basically the gameplay system works really well to make you believe your wife is absolutely necessary to your quest and you would die without her, even if she cant fight. And honestly its actually kinda romantic! I just wish it wasnt presented as this weird sacred heterosexuality arranged marriage nonsense where all women are physically unable to go to a dungeon and all men are physically unable to not fight every day. Or at least thats how the powers work and if you try and step out of that role you fuckin die. Like it would be romantic to have a couple of a battle partner and a supporter magician if they actually chose it, yknow?

And whats annoying is that they actually do bring up the subject of people defying gender roles and canonically state that you not omly die but bring a curse upon everyone and are hated forever. They dont mention trans or gay people, instead the excuse is that a man loved his wife so much that he tried to learn nagi magic to lift the burden from her. Cos oh yeaj women get 'punished' by god for doing this magic?? Cursed tattoos all over their body the more they use it, and everyone hates them and eventually they turn into a fairy and forget they were ever human. And in the japanese version you can actually fight other nagi women who met this fate, theyre just another monster that you can fight and capture. They were censored in english cos they looked like really racist stereotypes of black women! Ugh! So yeah anyway nice straight husband is punished by the magic straightness enforcing rules of the universe for loving his straight wife too much. So what is the even point? If a man tries to use nagi magic it creates the "black cocoon" of cursed doomness and blah. Literal punishment for not conforming to gender. Damned if you do, damned if you don't!

Anyway this setting always made me wonder about all the stuff it just glosses over with this implication that every one of these relationships worked out fine. Like even before we rub lgbtq topics all over a retro videogame, there's a lot of logical holes! Like seriously how many of these arranged marriages ended up loveless or abusive? How many women just didnt want to stay confined to one room forever and not even have anyone look at them because their magic markings are shameful yet its also shameful not to want to do it?? How many men were terrified of going out on this advebture fighting literal demigods sent by heaven to punish humans? How many of them just had no ability to fight and died immediately because of shitty traditions, while perfectly qualified women had to sit there and watch it happen? What if there werent enough straight men and women of the same age and people were forced into gross pedophilic shit or other horror scenarios just cos there has to be this one magical straight couple or the village dies? Whenever theres this stupid gender magic its ALWAYS portrayed as idyllic and never failing ever, unless *gasp* people dont follow the gendrules...

And then SERIOUSLY do no queer people exist in this universe?? Man i'd be so interested in their stories! I actually had an oc idea of a self insert version of me as a travelling merchant. Because maybe what if nonbinary people could do both sides of the magic at once and thus adventure alone without being tied to a village's straight marriage system? So i'd just go around purifying monsters and then be a place you could buy new and rare mons from other villages without having to catch them. Maybe an easier way to get the super rare drop fusion materials for tiger pattern and stuff? And like seriously itd be good to have a character to talk to who agrees that your village is made of assholes. I cant say its bad writing cos it was clearly intentional, but they shoulda at least put a bit more incentive to keep playing even if you didnt care about these people. Also it would help plug the plothole of how a village even survives if it doesnt have the required people to form this magical straight marriage. Have some mysterious enby avengers who travel all across the world and save everyone regardless of country! All we ask is you buy some of our lovely souveniers! Maybe a pet patalchu for your family? Seripusly why dont they ever show anyone using the purified monsters for anything other than fighting the unpurified ones? You'd think they'd be really useful in repairing the village and guarding the walls and like..regular industrial jobs. Help the place actually advance and not have to live day to day on scraps,bickering amoungst themselves as the monsters grow ever closer to breaking through. Hell, you could even have them help spin the cocoons for other monsters! If this magic only depends on having a dick or not, then cant we just dress up some animals in the magic straight marriage outfits? XD

And like aaaa man im getting so emotional just imagining a trans woman who's constabtly told she will literally bring about the apocolypse if she tries to fill the female role in this ritual. And then one day she tries to spin the magic silk and she thinks she's committing the ultimate sin and they were all right. But the magic responds to her touch, and she makes a spell more beautiful than any other woman in the village! It would probably be harder for a trans man cos the magic doesnt have so much of an immediate proof like that. Just going out and winning a fight with a monster can be called "dumb luck", and knowing these assholes they'd probably keep calling it dumb luck even after the thousandth time you save their life!

And man, i wonder how gay relationships would work in such an annoyingly strict system of enforced heterosexuality? Would it be like the magic isnt REALLY gender locked at all, and it can just be any couple with either partner taking either role? Or would it be that it is one magic per gender but the bigoted villagers were wrong about it being impossible to do things without both? Like maybe when you're going into battle alone as a single cocoon master you cant fight without catching other monsters. But when two cocoon masters love each other their magic is amplified and they become able to like.. I dunno.. Imbue each other with elemental strength so they can fight the monsters hand to hand? Cos really the elemental system is the only reason you cant do a no monsters run of the game as it is. Maybe since they cant purify monsters but they can still catch them, they equip the monsters as sort of a power rangers transformation? Or socket them like materia on their weapons? Or just if the world was less segregated into tiny sexist racist villages they could simply buy the purification coccoons from another local nagi, and villages without a coccoon master could buy the services of travelling ones. Oh, and maybe two nagi lesbians could be even more badass! Cos if they can only purify and not fight, maybe their double purification is so strong that they can just straight up walk into the forest and monsters don't attack them. They dont even need to do the full spell, they can calm a beastie's rage just by holding out their hand and patting it on the head. So they coukd be infinately more effective and not have to just tenporarily clear single travelling routes of a few monsters, but actually work towards slowly purifying the entire forest and creating a peaceful land again. Tho i mean the game did have a unique atmosphere with the whole 'no hope of ever beating them' aspect. It was unique to see a society formed around the idea of never going into forests or you Die. But magical lesbians and their family of a million pet dragons is honestly better!

And uhhhh ive gone all offtopic now and i camt stop thinking about how much i love magical lesbians with a million pet dragons

The End

2 notes · View notes