#anyway just posting these because. I can. And well. Thats lovely isnt it

[imactuallyagiraffe]

okay amazing! i have some listening to do hahahahhah.

i just looked through and remembered i totally meant to add some billie eilish to mine and i definitely think jinx would enjoy billie.

as for pierce the veil:

"collide with the sky" is their most popular most iconic album (lmao hyperfixation rant unlocked. i sense an essay coming). personally i feel that objectively it just is their best album, even though it's not my personal favourite album, and also just doesn't have a lot of my favourite ptv songs on it. but when i look at all their albums, cwts just doesnt have any bad songs on it, or even any songs that i like slightly less. its straight bangers. its melodic, well writen, strong lyrics and concepts, high energy. like seriously no flaws.

personally i started with "selfish machines" (i knew nothing about the fandom or anything when i started with this album). i think it was kinda good that i didnt start with cwts because, as i started to learn that it was meant to be this amazing album i got really excited to listen to it. idk just not listening to it first just built up the hype for me. and then when i listened to it, i was not dissapointed. by the time i listened to cwts, i already knew selfish machines front to back, word for word, and it was my favourite album in the whole world and i had been listening to nothing else for about a month. i didnt think i was going to like cwts as much as selfish machines, but then i instantly did. it kinda felt like album release day when i listened to cwts. i just kinda think it was more fun to already be in love with the band before listening to their "best album".

anyway definitely start with one of those albums. both are brilliant.

as far as the other albums, i also really love them but i wouldnt start with them

"a flair for the dramatic" - amazing album, i come back and listen to this album a lot. it is their first album tho so its slightly less strong and you can tell they're still figuring out their sound. i like that it feels a bit more raw though. the only reason i would start with this is if you wanted to listen to them chronologically (which tbh could be kinda cool and isnt the worst idea)

"misadventures" - the first time i listened to this one i wasnt fully sold. i thought it was their worst album. however this didnt last long because every time i listened to it i like it more (which ive heard other people say a similar thing about this album). it just got better and better until i thought it was a straight masterpiece, just like the others. anyway thats why i wouldnt start with this one, however since it seems you like heavier stuff more, i think you would like this album because it has some really high energy stuff. (i mean they all do hahaha but i feel like this one is less melodic? idk)

"jaws of life" - this album they released after like an eight year hiatus in 2023. its a completely different sound than the other albums. the other albums are post-harcore albums whereas this is more of slower grungier album, with also some pop elements. i love this album but given that you prefer the higher energy i would definitely not start with this one. another reason i wouldnt start with this one is i feel that its less consistent as a whole album. this album has a few of my favourite ptv songs on it, but also a few of my least favourite ptv songs on it. it also is just a bad introdution to ptv since it sounds so different from their other stuff.

i think selfish machines is still my favourite album but i think thats mostly due to the fact that it was the first one i listened to and the one i listened to for the longest, so it just has more of a personal connection to me. but i genuinely think this band has one bad song and like. four eh songs and the rest are all bangers so i think they're worth a good listen. but yeah. start with one album. either selfish machines or collide with the sky. let me know what you think, of course in detail.

also im sorry for writing so much lmao i couldn't help it😭. thank you for reading it (if you read it all hhahahaha. i wouldnt be mad if you didnt)

made a playlist inspired by this scene and the song she's playing. its big rock angry evil fem bisexual bipolar bilingual bad bitch vibes so go listen.

[k1tty5]

lots of misc sketches of varying quality 4 you

[sieglinde-freud]

let it be known that i love prince inigo with my whole soul. however sometimes it is SO much fun to think about owain and his two most loyal-est knights you ever seen: worst guy in the world #1 and worst guy in the world #2. i love retainer inigo and severa so much. retainers who bully you and make fun of you and trash on you but they’d leave behind everyone and everything they ever knew to follow you and protect you in a whole new universe. they love you so much that they’d swear allegiance to total strangers but that loyalty pales in comparison to what they’d do for you. and they were all lovers!!!!!!!

[youngpettyqueen]

thinking about trans Julian again specifically thinking about the idea of Julian being trans but electing to not undergo any gender-affirming surgeries

like I was thinking about this the other day in the context of his line about him and Kira being the only other options for a womb when he had to transplant the baby from Keiko, because the implication that Julian has a womb also implies he's elected out of having a hysterectomy for gender-affirming purposes. I say that because we know gender-affirming surgeries- at least the more cosmetic ones- are very easy to undergo (see Profit and Lace, where they very quickly and easily turn Quark into a woman (yes I know it wasn't gender-affirming for him but its the easiest episode to use for my point)) so I feel like it wouldnt be a reach to say that a hysterectomy would be a fairly easy procedure to ask for and undergo

which as ive been thinking about it more I think this like. perfectly tracks with Julian as a character, that he would opt out of undergoing gender-affirming procedures. because I think, considering what his parents did to him and how strongly he resents it, that he would steer clear of anything he would view as "changing" himself. honestly so far in the future I think its safe to assume views of transitioning are very different, and I'd like to think that there wouldnt be nearly as much social pressure to physically transition at all, but even if there was I think Julian would be very resistant to the idea that he would "have" to change anything about himself. Julian is very unapologetically himself in every regard, so im pretty confident in saying that that would translate over to his gender identity and asserting that he is a man, and he doesnt need to change anything about himself or his body to be one

[totallyawesome123]

rediscovering I have empathy? craaaazyyyyy

[malkaviian]

for some reason i am thinking that, if my ocs had a fandom, chase would be the character who mostly gets "i can fix him" type of x reader fanfics

[theresnoworldicantdevour]

Lazarus and some tea 🎃🕸️☕️

[kinardsboy]

This has been sitting on my mind a lot lately but it seems extra relevant now with the way Tommy and by extension Lou has been criticized for acting “too gay” in ep 5. And while yes, I will agree Tommy acted slightly different in ep 5, it has absolutely everything to do with Lou’s incredible acting choices to play Tommy differently when he is around people he deems as “safe” which is much better explained in this amazing post here <-

All these complains are doing is just yet again exposing buddies as homophobes who are, at the end of the day. Uncomfortable with real queerness being shown infront of them. Of course we already knew this with how they react to Buck and Tommy kissing and god forbid flirting especially if it has sexual implications like the daddy kink scene.

They can’t possibly fathom their precious uwu baby Buck would be sexual with another man so they spin and twist it however they can to make it out to be, “NO! You see! Tommy started the flirting! Tommy is just an insatiable horny gay man! He only wants sex! Like most of them do!”

Which is again spewing homophobic rhetoric, who wouldve guessed thats what they immediately turn to?

I now have something probably controversial to say but oh well, im going to say it anyway.

A good many of these shippers would be deeply uncomfortable with Buddie actually becoming canon, because they would be nothing like their fanfic. They don’t want to see two men in a relationship, they want to see Eddie in a relationship with the character they project themselves onto.

There are so many examples of this but perhaps the biggest being the way Buck is made out to be the “woman” in the relationship and especially how he is made to be the “mom”

Buck and Tommy’s relationship 1st does not have any children involved so there are no gendered roles to be assigned (even though if there was.. theyd just both be a dad), they are both beefy and the same height, which is what people usually use to decide “top” and “bottom” but again since there is little physical difference between them, they cannot do this, which only adds to their uncomfortableness.

Furthermore, I would go as far to say that Buddie shippers dont actually like Buck.

A while back a shipper posted this analysis of Buddie, that essentially reduces Buck to a dog. A pet. Only to be let out of the bedroom to cook and take care of Chris, otherwise he’s meant only for Eddie’s pleasure.

Which, disgusting. But the thing that stood out most to me was how Tommy was criticized for

letting Buck be himself. For accepting and loving him flaws and all. For not trying to change anything, or “train” the bad out of him

While Eddie was the “trainer” in that scenario, that had to train the bad out of Buck in order for him to be acceptable.

And thats the funny thing isnt it? Buddie shippers have to completely warp and destroy Buck’s character to make him fit their mold of perfect partner for Eddie. They make him out to be this helpless person who can’t even tell Tommy he doesnt want to be called Evan, that needs rescuing from Tommy, that is a “mother figure” to Chris, that his “dream role” would be live in chef and maid for the diaz family..

When none of that is Buck.

Buck is a smart, independent and strong man. He has worked tirelessly on himself to know who he is and what he wants, which right now? Is with Tommy.

Bringing it back to my main point, their complaints of Tommy being more gay and Bucktommy intimacy ultimately just boil down to homophobia plain and simple, seeing real queer representation and not representation that they can specifically twist and cater to themselves through fic, headcanons or gifs, makes them uncomfortable

(could this be why so many of them ignore shows with canon m/m ships for favor of shows with fanon ones that will never actually happen? So they can make these demands for representation then shit on it as soon as they get it because its not fanfic? Its not their fetish specifically catered to them? It actually represents real life queer men who they don’t actually like?)

[oceanwithouthermoon]

I like your saiteru posts but I can't shake the idea that Teruhashi only loves the idea of Saiki and not actually Saiki, especially since she hated when he gave her a glimpse of himself when he was competitive during their date.

ive seen this take floating around a few times, this whole "teruhashis mental image of saiki is wrong" "teruhashi wouldnt love him if she got to know him" "teruhashi hated any time she saw his REAL personality" and i just dont get it because like...

this scene?? the scene where hes being inconsiderate, rude, not taking her feelings into account, making her play games she doesnt even want to play, acting like a gooner, etc? THIS is the scene you thought was him showing her a glimpse of what hes really like??? where did you get that from?/genq

hes competitive, yeah, but this… isnt being competitive, its just being an asshole. thats not what hes like when hes trying to win. him wanting to win games and show off with his powers is not equivalent to being an inconsiderate tryhard who wants to make everyone do what he wants with no thought to what they want…

but youre ALSOOOOO forgetting that she actually did end up being like… “hehe i still wuv him 😚” after this…

so.. on THAT note, i need everyone to pay really really close attention to what im about to say…

she loves him when hes rude, inconsiderate, pushy, competitive…

she loves him when hes open, popular, kind, powerful, reading her mind…

she loves him when hes gloomy, monotone, boring, quiet…

she loves him when hes a GIRL.

so why is the conclusion here “she wouldnt love him for the real him”? the logical conclusion here seems to be “she would love him no matter what”

WHAT ABOUT THAT DOESNT SCREAM “LOVE”?

and regarding her "only loving his persona the same way people only love teruhashis", i think everything above disproves that anyway but i have to go more into it because not only have you misunderstood me but this also implies you think none of saiki and teruhashis friends truly love them at all 😭

saikis quiet, boring self isnt completely not him. its still him, just a different side of him than you might be used to as a viewer. you guys have to understand that although, yes, he is masking and putting up a front, that doesnt mean EVERY part of him that people see is fake 😭 its the same with teruhashi, she doesnt have a single tangible "true" self entirely on the inside and a single tangible "fake" self entirely on the outside, its NOT completely black and white! PEOPLE arent completely black and white!

youre forgetting that me saying those guys (the kokomins and all those gross ew men) dont love her because they dont know and see her was accompanied by a picture of them literally asking her to continue validating them immediately after she woke up from passing out 😭 they quite literally dont love or care about her, not even about her image, they just like the idea of her image and want her to make them feel good. the whole "nobody sees and knows and loves her" doesnt apply in the same way to yumehara and their other friends, they may not truly see her with the same depth that saiki does but that doesnt mean their care for her is fake, because they DONT care more about her image than just her and being in her company even if they do still see the parts of her that ARE fake.

you cant just take the idea that they fake a lot of themselves around others and morph that into "every single thing people see of them is fake and every single thing they dont see is an accurate representation of their true selves", it just doesnt work like that 😭 regardless of saikis power and silliness and sweetness and competitiveness, hes still a quiet guy with a gloomy face. and regardless of teruhashis cuntiness (lol) and competitiveness and obsessiveness and silliness, shes still a sweet girl who enjoys making people happy. they can be BOTH and thats okay!

this misunderstanding is like youre hearing someones thoughts and thinking "oh what a blunt person" like well... no because not everything in your head defines your personality or is something youd ever want or need to say aloud. everyone thinks crazy things, had wrong initial impressions, etc, do you see my point?? am i getting this across properly??? saiki still enjoys sitting in his house and doing nothing but eating coffee jelly and playing video games and teruhashi still enjoys when she makes people happy, those things arent fake just because they contribute to their fake personas... saiki also would not have been singing and doing standup or whatever the hell people are convinced he wouldve been doing at the mixer with someone hes "more comfortable" with, he doesnt do that shit around anyone 😭 not around his family and not around the psychickers, so im not sure where people got the idea that her thinking he would sit there and do nothing was her not understanding him or that the way he was making the guys act was how he truly wants to act 😭 he can sing and crack jokes but he never has around anyone so we dont know if thats what he wants to do, i dont even remember him making jokes aloud to the psychickers other than being a little sassy ☠️ the most i remember is him making short silly jokes to tease his dad or toritsuka... you guys just assume that hes the type of guy to stand up and sing and yell and make everyone roll over laughing because idk... maybe you cant stand the idea that your fav might not be a sexy loud confident alpha male and might actually be a little guy who loves video games and watching people and being a little brat on occasion ☠️

i feel like this take is just you guys taking both their insecurities SUPER seriously, because what else could be making you think that ANYONE who doesnt know about his powers doesnt truly love or care for saiki??

anyway... it clearly just doesnt matter to her how he acts because she just loves him and enjoys his company no matter what. thats love.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Pomni, Gangle, Jax, and Ragatha x Confident/Clueless Reader who both wanders off from the group during adventures, and during any type of conflict like a boss fight they just run into battle like the Leeroy Jenkins meme

Various TADC characters x confident and clueless!reader

I miss old fandom energy sighs. Everyone's way too serious now... I think we'd all heal a little if we drew our faves with the leeroy Jenkins meme

Characters: ragatha, pomni, gangle, jax

Notes: reader is gn, short post, reader is not very bright but they love you anyway

CWs: none

RAGATHA

calls after you, and will run after you the first few times before deciding to stay behind until you learn your lesson of "dont run into weird settings or to the baddies!" but you never really learn... or maybe you think that this time will be different and you can deck the evil wizard threatening to turn you into beans or whatever the hell caines cooked up that specific day

will gently correct you if you attempt to say that you won- you in fact did not win... internally shes kind of just... hmm... but you make up for the stress in normal day to day life that she cant stay mad at you for long

at least she tends to your momentarily bruised ego when the adventure is over... after scolding you

GANGLE

has tried to grab and stop you but because shes so light she gets dragged across the ground as you keep running into danger.... never again- never tries to physically hinder you like that again

cannot bring herself to watch you get hurt like that, will cover her eyes and look away until the thrashing and chaos stops, and even then shes not sure she has the courage to come to your side out of fear that the threat isnt actually over

and when its not a villain npc posing a threat? youve jumped out of moving vehicles before or jumped into ominous voids without giving it much thought

cannot handle the constant anxiety, but shes too soft spoken and pushover-y to speak up about it :(

POMNI

please... dont... shes already trying to get used to the circus and what to expect, and she knows that youll make it through the other side thanks to your digital body... but thats not going to stop her from wincing when the big bad grabs you by the leg and starts flinging you around

your confidence greatly drowns out her lack of it- shes cautious and tries to take things slower to avoid danger, and then theres... you... and you sometimes accidentally drag her along with you... and sometimes not

youre simply trying to help her put herself out there...! even if the outcome isnt the best for the two of you all the time...

will run after you when you bolt into danger, though...

JAX

honestly he thinks its really funny- and he will be encouraging you to go run into every sign of danger in every adventure that has it- cue your belongings and other assorted items rolling and flinging across the screen while youre getting your ass beat

hes... almost impressed with how ballsy you are sometimes, you are the walking definition of fuck around and find out- whether it be for better or worse

will make bets and dares with you to see how far youre willing to go just to go try to get something done.... someone may need to step in to put a stop it to. oddly enough theres no real malice to it, at least after you guys get closer... its mostly morbid curiosity and the confidence of "well you cant die or get hurt in the digital world" talking

[moonshynecybin]

the way Marc’s diplopia issues in MotoGP could translate so well into concussions episodes in a hockey AU (just like Sid…)

the head injury of it allllll.... its crazy because motogp injury is USUALLY (not always) caused by incidental contact or a personal fuck up. "racing is a contact sport rubbing is racing" okayyyyy but not like hockey lol. in motogp you USUALLY arent making contact on purpose (no one crashes for fun) and when you DO make contact it is almost ALWAYS on the limit. while often hockey injury (ESPECIALLY HEAD INJURY) is caused by a hit. could be a dirty hit could be a clean one, but usually its cuz a guy decided to hit you very hard with his body personally. theres a lot more.... agency in the injury? which feels bad bc not everyone is running around concussing people but i think its fair to say theres more interpersonal violence with INTENT to be violent even if its like. a fairly innocent shove on the forecheck. touching people on purpose. cause and effect. you are injured because of someone. thats comparatively rare in motogp

all this to say. known injury weirdo vale (and i hesitate to mention this but part of the reason he is that way is BECUASE he was involved in a tragic accident that injured another person). in a contact sport. vs marc. famously most injured man alive including in his head. in another sport that LOVES to ignore concussions. add famous rivalry. add playoff hockey hit lenience. and i can see marc (head already fragile/diplopia'd up when he was in juniors) falling weird when vale is trying to muscle him in the corners and getting his noggin absolutely scrambled. and now we have to deal with vale as CAUSER of marc injury. where he's out for months. in a dark room. doing his eye exercises and cuddling shira and MAYBE it was during the playoffs so alex had to convince marc not to try and get on the fucking ice and vale is in the same city all the time feeling like his heart is getting pulled out through his SPINE because its one guy to convince yourself a rival is evil it is ANOTHERRRR for injury weirdo to actually and for real hurt someone he loves. like if you look at them in motogp thats not vale's bag at all during the marc years. even with him being a criminal against sete in 2006 he never pulls that shit out post sepang 2011. and i think if he managed to actually INJURE marc. well i think he might feel so bad he shows the fuck up at this door

so its. hushed tense voices in the hall (alex and vale). vale climbing into bed with him in the dark. holding ice over his forehead. playing cards to keep him occupied and off his phone. reminding him to do his eye exercises. taking him to appointments contacting the diplopia specialist... and marc is brain foggy and confused and needs comfort and just WANTS IT so badly that he doesnt question it too much... lets himself take a little... and vale is there... like truly vale LOVES to take care of people, acts of service is his love language, and he is. FANTASTICALLY guilty. so hes trying to fix it anyway he can. but then the playoff series passes. and marc gets a little bit better. and there isnt a REASON for him to be there. and marc might be edging on asking him wtf hes doing there in the first place. and one day marc rolls over and vale is GONE.... because hes like okay. well marc is better now so i should go WALLOW in my GUILT. which of course to vale looks like pretending it never effected him at all while being secretly very kind about the whole thing. because he SUCKS !

[bloo-the-dragon]

I've been seeing some people express concern for Bloodmoon on this post SO i'm going to throw in some extra context and Bloodmoon lore to clear some things up

Honestly i probably should have done this a long time ago BUT ANYWAYS-

The sudden change for them was very.. shocking to put it kindly. A very drastic change but after the initial shock Bloodmoon is very euphoric - Just happy and whimsical and freed because they're in a new form that just feels right even if they havn't fully come to terms as to why yet.

But existential crisis still boils under the surface and it's not til sometime later that it breaks out.

This is Bloodmoon shortly after the transformation -

- cheery, silly, happy. Sun and Moon arnt worried for too long because they seem happy (and in a way they're kind of flattered that their fae friend decided to take a form similar to their own - they've met many kids who dressed up like/wanted to be like the glamrocks afterall so this isnt too odd for them)

This is when the existential crisis/questioning moment really hits home

(happens while they are out too which only quickened it what with anxiety being around people and all)

Now the reason they changed in the first was because they realised they had fallen in love (platonically) with Sun and Moon. Their shapeshifting specifically is very emotional based and will trigger usually when high emotion is felt. This is the biggest physical change they have ever had however, and the most impactful.

And why did they turn red like the Bloodmoon you might wonder? Well 1. Lunar Eclipse, or Eclipse vibes specifically and 2. Have you ever heard of the red string? ~

But yeah right after the change they would be too caught up in the euphoria of feeling whole and comfortable in a new body and identity to really acknowledge the panic beneath the surface. And the crisis kicks in over time because they had been very much the non-partnering type before and never saw theirself ever truly falling for anyone (again even in a platonic sense)

They would talk to Sun and Moon after this, and while feelings would not be outright admitted there would absolutely be understanding there and acceptance which is all they really need. They become qpp's over time after that.

Also i mentioned in the tags of my last post that this is basically irreversable and thats because the only way it could be reversed is if they stopped loving Sun and Moon (which ofc they could never)

They loved them enough to make them part of theirself - and in a way Sun and Moon do the same when they get tails installed to match (I'm a sentimental sap and tails are fun)

They're robots too so one thing that they have in common with a fae is they can also alter their forms to an extent ;D tho in this case they just wanted to have tails so they could be more like Bloodmoon.

Both parties adopting pieces of each other into their respective selves/identities out of love shared for each other.

The sillies

[thefourchimes]

okay, just gonna say this now before i start this post: i have absolutely no problems with alternate universes, go ham with them, go wild, you can have fun, etcetc, they're called alternate universes for a reason, after all

however. HOWEVER.

i have a problem when people say something should have happened in canon, when canon itself disproves or goes against whatever these people want

the reason why im bringing this up?

the whole thing with how some people keep saying mirabel should have [insert the usual things people say here, hate, slap, punch, left, get revenge, etc, take your pick, there's unfortunately a lot to choose from] the family. in the canon movie.

again, i have no problem with alternate universes and seeing them in fanfics or whatever, you do you, could be interesting to see even

but when you start saying this should have happened in canon, its just. no. no.

god, it just frustrates me so much whenever i see these posts and comments, the ones that said she should have gone evil or villain or hate the family and all that stuff

because mirabel herself loves her family. she literally said it outright in the movie!!! its not in her personality and character to just go against them and hate them and want revenge. there will be hurt and hesitance and some resentment after everything she'd gone through, yes, but outright hate to the point where she'll hurt them?? absolutely not.

not with her character, her love and empathy and understanding, the traits we see her show in the movie.

like my friend once said: mirabel "he loved this family. i love this family. we all love this family" would NEVER hurt her family

say it louder for the people at the back!!

and thats not all i want to rant about tbh...the real kicker on this one?

whenever this statement is added on top of it all: "if i were mirabel—"

well, news flash people who keep saying these things, mirabel isnt you. mirabel is her own character who has her own experiences and her own feelings. maybe you'll be able to relate to her, especially with similar experiences, but that doesn't mean you can just copy and paste your own feelings onto her and say this is what she should have done in canon because thats what i would have done!!

we all project onto our favorite characters in various ways, which is completely fine, go at it and definitely not surprising for a story about family issues, but when you start to project so much that you throw away the character's actual personality and characterization in favor of said projection? yeah...no.

thats not mirabel madrigal anymore, that's a completely new character...or dare i say, a self-insert for some people... 💀:////

yeah, im just so frustrated with this AAAAAAA 😭

but anyway yes.

thats it, really. again, AUs are absolutely fine but if someone starts yapping about how canon should have [insert whatever those people keep saying here] instead while disregarding actual canon and proper characters and personalities, im going to become violent

anywho...thats my thoughts on this, went on a bit of a tangent but

yeah

anyway bye—

[imgdreaming]

hello coming back to yap about the rainworld youtooz figures beccaauusseee im insane :-) and have had these thoughts about youtooz products for a long time and would like to hear what others think ^_^

long post ahead sorry i have normal thoughts and feelings about this /lh

i was very excited when i heard about these and i still am (for other reasons than probably intended lol) but i have issues with them specifically the signature youtooz happy eyes.. they have bothered me for what has to be YEARS now like its cute for a few things but once its on seemingly EVERYTHING they produce no matter what.. it starts to tick me off sometimes they just DONT FIT and thats okay.. you dont need them for brand recognizably ive heard youtooz products are relatively high quality and thats GREAT i am will to spend my money on a high quality product !!

but like when im interested in a product based off an already existing media property i want something accurate !! and to youtooz' credit, i love how these two models look outside of the eyes and survivors spear being grey i think theyre very well done. but for stuff like rainworld with a more serious tone it just does not fit :-(

i have two solutions to my issues with this specifically that does not include simply opening their eyes that both focus on survivor..

1) change survivor to monk: yes i get it survivor is Mr. Rain World but if we want to keep the happy eyes monk is your best bet. not only is he depicted with those eyes a few times in official stuff (see: slugpup plush and selection screen art) but he is also frequently considered a friend to lizards so you can also keep the pink lizard's expression !! they can be a cute little set :-)

option 2) change survivors pose: if we need to keep survivor then at least change their pose to a cuter one maybe of them eating a bluefruit ?? with how action focused their current pose is the eyes are especially out of place even if it is a very iconic pose for them. (also why isnt the spear black ????????)

video cult hire me :-)

anyway even if i wont be buying these for my own personal issues with them im still happy theyre being made not only for others who will most likely love them but also because if these sell well they might actually make a monk who i may actually buy.. PLUS this means they might make other figures in the future with other companies ? :-) i can hope at least hehe

let me know your thoughts if youve read this far i would love to hear them since this has been something lowkey eating at me for a few years now haha apologies if any of this is hard to read btw its 1:21 am annndd im tired and dont feel the greatest lol

[gadunkie]

hallo so like has anyone else noticed how incredibly stupid online queer infighting has been? well, stupid and fucking terrible on many individuals trying to live as themselves. I could go on and on about how online spaces have turned into an oppressive community that favors queer fems and berates anyone who isnt a queer fem. but who would fucking listen? lets be real here, who the fuck would actually care? its been like this for years now and its only getting worse. there have been multiple cases of people speaking up against the transmisandry, non-binary erasure, intersexism, aroace harassment, etc. yet its been mostly fruitless. at most its helped people who feel othered in the space thats literally meant for them, find each other. which is great, thats a good thing. unity amidst ourselves is something to strive for daily. but idk I feel fucking exhausted having to see how much online trans women and lesbians have been able to get away with blatant bigotry and sexism. queer fems have been fucking oppressed like crazy and theyre usually the main target of real world bigotry. but the online space has curated a fucking privileged environment for them allowing them to get away with sexism, racism, and mistreatment of fellow queer people. I legit dont want to put another target on queer fems because that would just be adding to the infighting and further oppression that they already face. but is it too much to ask for them to be held responsible for shit??? like this is equality that Im asking for. to see one as equal you must hold them to the standards that you give everyone else, including yourself. Ive spent so much time talking to transmasc, non-binary, intersex, genderfluid, etc. people that I can only come to the conclusion that the online queer community is unfortunately just as intolerable as real world oppressive environments. it all points to the strange privilege that we have created for queer fems and it sucks!!! instead of creating an environment where all queer people can strive we instead have made one that reverses the patriarchy with the same oppression and mistreatment. this isnt equality!! this isnt feminism!! this is straight up stupid!! anyway will this post change anything? no nothing ever happens. but maybe itll help point out how fucking terrible things are in the online queer community for anyone who isnt fem. also if youre queer fem reading this, just fucking love your queer siblings and empathize with them instead of berating them for their experiences, theres no need to bully others. good luck have fun uninstall shinigami eyes that shit purposely marks intersex and transmasc people as transphobic its so bad.

[iid-smile]

hi... rhis might sound really random?? but ill be going on an indefinite hiatus. nothing bad is going on except studying and lack of inspo... just lost my love for writing, thats all.

(if u wanna know more which i doubt u can look in the read more... its really long + a bit at the beginning for moots so you dont have to scroll down) (this is unbelievably long)

to all of my moots, even those who i dont engage with as much, this might sound a little weird/creepy but i do check your blogs when i have the time. even if its just checking if youve updated and im just like "ooo so and so was here earlier" or "[insert moots/other blogs] are interacting! how fun" call it nosy but im just really interested in seeing you guys active lol

i may not directly say so, but i get worried when there isnt an update for a while... like i get worried when youre not here and i wish you the best, and im happy when you reappear again. sometimes i only have the time to skim through my following and like the most recent post, but i want to show that i see you all <3 its kind of embarrassing how upset i get when i see everyone is awake when im asleep and it feels a little late to compliment a new theme change when i didnt notice it earlier

i try to go into askboxes when i can (scary because i want to interact but idk what to say) and i guess some times ive been ignored...? thats okay! like i get it but i kinda dont... we're not just moots for the fb because followers arent that important to me. even for moots that dont mainly write for a fandom im in i do try to check for one that i can read and understand! (even trying to get into hq now bc a lot of my newer ones are into it judging by what i see on the dash) now that i think about it i really couldve just gone to the masterlists so thats my fault..

im not saying i expect frequent interactions because im more than happy just being moots in the first place, but im trying to say that new and old moots, i do love you guys and i want the best for you. it doesnt matter how close we are or if theres barely any interactions, i dont want you to feel stress or pressure and you should live good lives! 💗 im happy that we managed to meet on this huge platform! 🫶🫶🫶

(i really hope this didnt come off wrong because i dont dislike any of you at all! i think it sounds like im complaining but i just want friends and its personally difficult for me both just me as a person and because of timezones 😭)

ANYWAYS THE MAIN PART

i dont mean to blame any of you, but its kind of pressuring asking for a part two. like, it is flattering trust me, because it means you enjoy the work and want more. for some its probably obvious what fic im talking about but when theres already 50+ comments asking for a part two, and you add more onto that, it feels more like an obligation to do so. im sure i can see that theres many comments asking when the next part is, so dogpiling on top of it is just not a great feeling as a writer.

i think some people forget that writers write in their free time. its not a job and theres not really much satisfaction you can get out of it except knowing that theres people who love what you write. there are moments where i write a lot, and like right now, im not writing at all. i cant force myself to no matter how much i know i need to write, because then the result is unsatisfactory. this happens every time i try to do an event and i feel SO bad because youre probably so excited to receive work born from your own idea and im just not doing it??

i want you guys to enjoy what i write, but i only want to put out the best quality. on multiple occasions, even with no pressure, i feel like ive completely messed up something ive written because of my own standards. the more followers you accumulate, the better the writing should be, right? or thats what im thinking for myself... if i get embarrassed when i see somebodys liked it, then clearly i havent done well enough to consider it to be good. ive deleted many of my works if you havent noticed. the wbk ones are still up i think but i just dont think theyre good enough to be on my mlist.

ive never really mentioned engagement before... and i know im guity of it as well, but i do make an effort to. im not saying you have to reblog everything you read, but even just the occasional one that you really love, which is what i do. i havent gotten around to making a reblog sideblog just yet because i dont have the time, but just know that if i did, every fic that i like would have a reblog as well. followers and likes arent as important to me as reading or acknowledging that people want to share my work.

i dont feel as proud of my more liked fics compared to this one for example (even tho its one of my most popular bllk works but u get the point). it makes me sm happier just seeing a little comment or tag in the reblogs. its funny, and i actually did smile every time, because i really wasnt expecting people to like it that much or even get comments at all

please dont feel bad if you havent been engaging like this! im not ungrateful. we've all been there, and youre already doing good showing some form of appreciation by liking it. im glad that my hard work and improvement over six months has led me to this point.

and another thing, telling me to off myself really isnt as motivating as you think, even as a joke.