#anyway it's one thirty in the morning
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"if i went extinct
i think i'd be remembered like the dodo
not all that exciting
and with a lot of 'oh no!'s"
- gravity by bears in trees
#bears in trees#current hyperfixation#my head hurts it's too late for this#but this song was just playing and i feelt the need to share this line#anyway it's one thirty in the morning#i bid you adieu#and goodnight#<3#gravity the song#gravity#let's sleep on it#dodo
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thinking about older butch lesbian leon…
she’s so tender, affirming when she fucks you. firm but steady in how she presses every inch of her straps girth into you, rewarding you so quickly with a thumb to your pretty clit to help ease the stretch. can’t stop complimenting you, running her hand over your body.
warns you not to cum until she says you can, that you’re a good girl and good girls are patient. thrusts growing deeper, harder, louder as opposed to the tender touch her hands carried not minutes before. she aims to please, a glutton for your pleasure. so when your toes curl, thighs twitching, lashes fluttering, you know she’s drinking you in. can feel her gaze on you, the intent in her eyes.
knows she’s reached her goal when you ask her to please breed you, to please please please come inside, so breathless and wanting and greedy for everything that is her. only snickers under her breath, kisses your jaw, your throat, your collar. nods, sighs and moans into your neck, obliges and indulges you with coos and promises to breed you deep, thorough, but can’t help the high it gives her internally, knowing shes fucked her pretty girl so dumb.
you were so sweet, so silly as to forget she couldn’t. and she’s concerned for a fleeting moment that you’ll ache and whimper in discontent when her strap fails to leave you with warmth pooling against your cervix. but with a gasp and a wobble of your lip, she’s refocused on you and the meeting of your pelvises, breathless when she finally utters “come for me, sweet girl. give me everything.”
#it is one thirty in the morning I need to put my ass to bed#yaps. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚#anyways uhhhhhhh yeah thought everyone should know how gay I am for her#thank you for coming to my Ted talk#(horny rambles)#late night stroll.˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚.#leon kennedy smut#leon kennedy x reader#resident evil smut
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had a conversation with my mother yesterday in which she was very clearly looking for reasons to be convinced I'm going to lose my job any minute (taking vacation time, spending too much time on performing arts, enrollment being down because of FAFSA issues, just being generally unsightly) and it really makes me feel like confirming her priors about education and Liberal Hypocrisy and nobody wanting to look at fat people is more important to her than my continued success and happiness in life
#sigh#she has spent my whole life telling me that everyone is out to take advantage of me#and that no one would ever want me around just for my own sake#except of course my immediate family#who generally do precisely nothing to make me feel that they don't find me gross and embarrassing and generally incompetent#(there's always a lot of 'well *i* don't think you're gross and useless and unbearable to be around but i know what other people think!'#anyway i am in a bad mood this morning exacerbated by the sidewalk between the parking garage and my workplace being blocked off for repair#ALSO LIKE#she has exactly the same kind of generalized anxiety i have#albeit expressed very differently#and also: everyone around her enables it#if she is worried about something?#it is EVERYONE'S PROBLEM#and because i struggled a lot in my twenties and thirties#this usually means i am everyone's problem#also she gets really offended when her adult children want to get away from the household and lead independent lives#which is why my sisters are her faves
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Day 3: Patience/Focus
Prompt List
Pt. 3 of The Empire of Samadhi AU
Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 | Pt. 3 (you are here) | Pt. 4
Wordcount: 3k
Summary: Red Son is the son of an old empire, Mei is the daughter of a new one. Red Son, consumed by fire, was put into an induced stasis sleep to stop the world from burning until his family can find a way to safely remove the fire. They find a way but he never wakes up. Hundreds of years later he awakes to discover his power resides within another as she stares at him with wide eyes on fire.
To wield the fire of Samadhi requires focus. To survive around such idiocy, Red Son requires more patience than he practised whilst creating said fire of Samadhi. But before that, Mk wakes up with a spider on his nose.
Mk woke up warm.
He hadn’t been warm in a long time.
Well, honestly he hadn’t really woken up in a long time. It was all muffled sounds, freezing cold and blurry bits of scenes unfolding in front of him here and there while he was unable to move or think clearly. It was… weird to be warm and be able to twitch his fingers without first being told to. But… nice. He really thought it was a dream at first.
He could hear muffled voices, two of them. One familiar and one not. His body ached despite the warmth as he slowly gained consciousness. His vision started out a little blurry when he opened his eyes, then adjusted after a few moments and he was greeted with a small black spider sitting on his nose.
Mk screamed.
He was already halfway up the cave wall, cramming himself into a space he could fit by the time Someone came running in, fire flickering around them. They looked around wildly, alarmed, fists clenched and guard up.
“Mk!”
The voice was loud and panicked and Mk would recognize it anywhere.
“Mei!”
He didn’t really think before he was practically launching himself off the cavern wall and at his best friend. He realized maybe it wasn’t the best course of action when he noticed how high up he’d been--and when he processed the fact she was on fire--but by then it was too late.
Mei yelped as he slammed into her from above and they both went crashing to the ground in a tangle of limbs, rings and fire.
Fire filled the cavern in a small, startled explosion. Mk’s skin burned with a distant memory of pain he couldn’t place the origin of, but before long it was clear the flames weren’t actually touching him. Despite the realization his breathing still came more shallowly than usual for some reason.
Mei grabbed his hand and pulled him through the smoke and flames to the mouth of the cavern. Mk shielded his eyes and gripped back tightly, the warmth of her hand seeping into his fingers and even up his arm. She was really there.
They stumbled out coughing.
“What is wrong with you people?” came an incredulous voice, one Mk didn’t recognize.
He glanced up, coughing and waving away smoke to try and see who it was coming from.
“Oh!” Mk said when he saw him. “Hello! You’re really scary looking!”
And he was pretty scary looking. With hair about as red as it could get, like, ripe tomato red, or maybe hot pepper red. It was reminiscent of many of the vegetables and different fruits he had seen in Pigsy’s kitchen over the years. He was dressed like Mk remembered his Shifu’s distant ancestor dressing in paintings and books. The clothes of a king, or maybe a prince or emperor, unmarred and pristine aside from it being a little dusty with streaks of ash and soot. His scowl was probably the scariest thing. That and his eyes, dark enough to be compared to coal, with just as little life in them. Honestly he looked like he was missing something very important, though Mk couldn’t begin to tell what it was. A smile maybe?
The man before him puffed out his chest a bit, looking almost proud. “Well at least someone knows I-”
“Don’t mind him,” Mei said to him dismissively, “he’s a big ol softie. He’d faint if we held hands in front of him.”
He spluttered. “I would not-”
“Oh,” said Mk, beaming. “Well, that’s a relief! It’s nice to meet you then, mister.”
The man spluttered.
Mei held up their intertwined hands for the man to see, grinning widely. “Look, grandpa. Holding hands.”
The man's entire face went nearly as red as his hair. He spat curses at them as he turned around and stomped away, kicking up ash as he went.
“Um…” said Mk. “He seems nice.”
“You get used to him,” Mei shrugged. She squeezed his hand lightly and glanced at him. “You okay?”
Mk blinked. “Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m good. Uh… how are you?”
Mei laughed.
At first, Mk was going to start laughing along with her, despite his confusion. But then he realized it was different from her normal laugh. It wasn’t light or giggly. It lacked that unrestrained joy that always erupted from her when she laughed. It was drenched in heavy, heavy relief. The shaky kind of relief that Mk had felt after a close brush with death during training.
Then it stuttered.
His best friend in the whole world sucked in a shuddering breath, and suddenly she was crying. Her voice was shaking between a laugh and a sob as she pulled him into a hug and held on so tightly and crushing that it made it hard to breathe.
“Mei?” He choked out. “Are you okay?” His voice was muffled by her shoulder and a piece of her hair got in his mouth. He half-spat half-blew it out of his mouth. He made a mildly grossed out noise. “Ew, ew, hair in my mouth-”
Her next laugh was torn from her like a sob and he could feel it through his entire body.
She gripped him tighter.
Something wasn’t right here.
“Mei?”
She only buried her face in his shoulder, her entire frame trembling. Mk could feel the heat from her and from the rings hovering above them. They were heavy. It almost felt like massive weights hovering over them, threatening to crash down and crush them.
With her hair out of the way Mk glanced up to look at the angry red-haired man questioningly, but whatever he was going to ask died in his throat before he could even lay eyes on him. For the first time, he saw beyond the cavern and the people in front of him.
And there was nothing but black.
Nothing but a desolate wasteland of ashes as far as he could see.
Mk gripped Mei back tightly, knees suddenly feeling like jello.
“What… What happened?”
Mei held him tighter still and all Mk could do was glance at the angry man with a lost look.
The man rolled his eyes at him. “Don’t look at me, peasant. I’m not the one with the fire.”
Mk glanced at his best friend in his arms and startled as he saw his hands for the first time.
Burns stretched over his fingers, his hands, small ones, and bad ones that looked like they would never ever go away.
Mk let out a small choked sound.
“What-?”
“I’m sorry, Mk,” Mei choked out between sobs. “I’m sorry-”
Mk wasn't sure what was happening, what had happened. He didn’t know where they were or who they were with or why his hands and everything around them was burned, or why he was afraid to look at the rest of himself, or why the clothes he was wearing felt scratchy and uncomfortable and unfamiliar. He didn’t know what the rings were floating over their head or why the fire in the cave hadn’t burned him. He didn’t know why he could only remember being cold for so long, or why now he felt warmer than ever. He didn’t know why a tiny part of him buried away in his chest felt nervous near his best friend.
Mk didn’t know what was happening, but the one thing he did know is that his best friend was crying. His best friend was crying and needed him right now. That was something he could understand just fine.
He hugged her back just as tight, squeezing until she could feel like her shaking sobs were steadied by his arms. “It's okay,” he said. “It's okay, Mei, I’m here.”
He held her tightly and Mei fell apart in his arms.
Mei and her friend talked just outside the mouth of the cave for a long time. Far too long in Red Son’s opinion. They had places to be. But when he’d attempted to tell the Dragon girl that, she’d actually snarled at him. Her friend’s hand on hers seemed to be the only thing that stopped her from actually trying to barbeque him.
The amount of patience he required just being around the two of them was already exhausting. He missed the days he could simply incinerate annoying people like them.
Eventually they stopped talking. After Mei had stopped crying. After Mk had stopped crying. After they had both stopped clinging to each other like children and crying, they finally approached him, still holding hands in a disgusting display of affection.
“Teach me,” Mei said.
“No,” Red Son said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Please?” Mk said, shuffling in place. He didn’t seem to know what to do with his free hand so he tapped it on the side of his leg awkwardly, arm swinging out away from him a bit after every tap. He was such a strange one. There was something about him, Red Son couldn’t put his finger on it, but it made him suspicious.
“No,” Red Son snarled again, this time with more venom. It was highly entertaining to watch Mk flinch, up until he glanced at Mei and saw absolute murder in her eyes. Red Son cleared his throat and looked away. “I’m not teaching you anything.”
“You taught me how to use the fire to save Mk,” Mei pointed out, infuriatingly correct.
“That’s different,” Red Son hissed out. “You weren’t fighting, so I did what I had to.”
“Well,” said Mk, chiming in in the most annoying way possible. “Wouldn't it be easier to get places if Mei knew how to use the…” he faltered a bit, glancing up at the rings hovering above Mei’s head. One of them was nearly directly over his head. Red Son narrowed his eyes and watched how Mk’s grip on Mei’s hand tightened. She squeezed back which seemed to give Mk enough steadiness to continue. “I just mean if we run into any other problems it would be better if one of us with big ol’ world-destroying power knew how to use it.”
He made a good point. A horrible good one. Good enough that it made Red Son grind his teeth and dig his nails into his arms until it hurt.
“It’s my fire,” Red Son said through gritted teeth. He missed the way his hair would flame up when he felt this way. He missed how his eyes would spark and people would stumble away, terrified of his power. As it was, the two in front of him simply stood, unphased. Mk was the only one looking even the slightest bit uncomfortable.
“Duh,” Mei said, rolling her eyes at him. “But if any of us die you won’t be getting your fire back-”
“The only one here capable of dying,” said Red Son, “is your friend here.” Mk flinched. Red Son pretended not to feel satisfied by it.
“Alright, your highness,” Mei said suddenly, releasing Mk’s hand and stepping forward. Although he’d suggested she call him your highness on several different occasions, the way she said it was devoid of any real respect. The rings above her got hotter and brighter, the fire lashing and reflecting in her eyes from within. “You shut up and listen. If you die, you won’t get your fire cause you’ll be dead. If I die, you won’t get your fire because everything will probably burn to nothing. And if Mk dies you can kiss your sweet fire goodbye because I will burn you and everything else myself if anything happens to my best friend, got it?”
Truly, her tone was something reminiscent of Red Son’s mothers. Threatening, scolding and terrifying all at once.
Red Son very nearly took a step back.
He cleared his throat. “Well… I suppose things would go… faster if you were not quite so useless.”
“Right,” Mei said, crossing her arms, unamused.
Red Son straightened up, keeping his chin tilted up. “I am not doing this because you tried to threaten me.”
“Of course not,” Mei said dryly.
Red Son bristled. “Whatever, dragon girl. Pull yourself away from your friend and I’ll show you how not to be a useless sack.”
“Thanks, grandpa!” Mei chirped, quite suddenly smiling brightly. She skipped back to Mk and took his hand in hers once again, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
Red Son scoffed.
“Um, yes, thank you Mister uh… Mister…” Mk trailed off, looking a little lost.
Red Son groaned. He tilted his head back for just a moment to pray for the long-suffering patience required to hold a conversation with these uncultured peasants. “The Demon of Samdhi. Or at least I’m told by your friend that it is now my title.”
Mk jolted. His head snapped up and he gaped at Red Son.
“Wait- you’re… you’re-”
Mei patted his shoulder. “Oooo… Yeah… I forgot to mention. Um. Mk…this is… well, the Demon of Samadhi!” She paused then waved her free hand back and forth. “Surprise…aha….”
Mk made a small choking sound. He looked quite pale. “M…Mei are you sure um… are you sure traveling with the… him is a good idea…?” He nervously glanced back at him.
Red Son bared his teeth at him in a wide grin. Mk took a step back.
It was horribly satisfying.
At least until Mei shoved her hand into his face to cover it and shoved him down out of Mk’s sight, completely ignoring his indignant cursing and outrage. “Ah, don’t worry about him. He’s a big softie.”
“I will kill you,” Red Son hissed.
“See?” Mei said. “Softie.”
“Oh,” said Mk, like he had complete faith in Mei’s judgment of character. “Phew, that’s a relief. Glad to have you on our side Mr. Demon of Samadhi!”
“I am not on your side-” Red Son attempted to choke out to no avail. They completely ignored him.
“Well, Sifu,” Mei said. “When do we start?” “When you get your hand off my face.”
“Samadhi is a meditation and a form of concentrated focus. Its meaning is a form of… bringing things together. I harnessed it to create the most concentrated form of fire that exists in this world.”
Mei sat cross legged on the ground in front of Red Son as he paced before her, his arms held behind his back loosely. She had a bored look on her face, one elbow resting on her knee and her chin in her hand. He ignored her blatant disrespect and continued.
“A true wielder of my fire, should be able to become one with it, to make it their own and wield it through the practice of meditation and focus.” His lip curled as he watched Mei glance at where a gust of wind was blowing up some loose ash. “Though I doubt you will be able to do such a thing.”
“Ehhhh… what was that?” Mei glanced back at him.
Red Son sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “If you want to learn you are going to have to listen.”
“I’m listening!” Mei said, rocking back and forth. “I’m listening real good.”
“If I could kill you right now, I would,” Red Son said.
“But you can’t,” Mei sing-songed. She giggled and winked at him.
“I hate you so much. You are a disrespect to my fire.” He turned to Mk and barked. “You there!”
Mk nearly fell backwards where he was balancing on a blackened boulder. His arms windmilled and flailed until he got himself steady and he stood up ramrod straight, with his arms at his sides.”Yes! What? I’m listening!”
Red Son groaned into his hands. “Of course, of course I’m stuck with two of the biggest idiots-” He exhaled sharply and looked up at them. “If either of you want to understand my fire you are going to have to start paying attention-”
“But I’m hungyyy,” Mei complained, continuing her rocking back and forth. “There’s nothing to eat around here.”
“And thirsty,” Mk added.
Red Son squinted at them both. “Idiots.”
He bothered to glance around. He had to admit, there was some concern to be had for the lack of resources. Red Son, of course, could go a very long time without those types of substances. Mei as well if his fire sustained her the way it had always sustained him.
But Mk was another matter.
He was more mortal than either of them. Lack of sleep got to him quickly. Even more quickly in the form of eating away at his attention. Food and water were another thing he clearly could not do long without and there was no telling how long he’d been without it already under the white lady’s influence.
And as long as Mk was distracted Mei would likely also remain distracted due to her worry for him and they’d blame him for it because of course they would.
“Fine,” he said. He planted his feet firmly on the ground to get their attention before he started his declaration. “We will continue this lesson after you two get yourself some sort of substance to consume.”
Mei blinked. “Uh… Samadhi Sifu… I don’t know how to tell you this, but… there’s not really… anything here…”
She gestured to the wasteland stretching around them. Red Son could still feel the fire going on under his feet. The only thing for miles around were half-melted boulders and rocks in a pattern that made Red Son assume it had once been a stream or river of sorts. The fire had long since eaten up any water that had run through it previously.
Mk blinked slowly, one eye closing and opening sooner than the other, a little off-beat.
“I know that,” Red Son snapped. “That’s why we’re going somewhere else.”
“Uhhhh…” said Mei. “Where… exactly?”
“I don’t have time to explain,” Red Son threw up his hands. “Ugh. Just- stand up, fool.”
Mei rolled her eyes but she did as she was told.
“Give me some fire.”
Mei blinked. “Huh?”
“Fire. Just-” Red Son sighed. “Just light the rings.”
“Oooookay…” Mei said slowly. She closed her eyes and after a moment the rings above her flickered to life.
Without missing a beat, Red Son snatched a bit of flame from the rings. Mei made a little surprised sound, leaning forward curiously. He tried not to bask under her clear admiration. He may not have been able to create his own fire now that it had been stripped from him, but he could still wield it just fine.
…In small amounts at least.
“Cool…” Mei said as she watched him draw the circle of flame on the ground.
“This,” Red Son said, “is a gateway. It will take us outside of the range of the fire, but only for a temporary time. Then we will be transported back here.”
“So… it's like… yo-yo teleportation?” Mk asked, glancing over Mei’s shoulder to see the circle.
Red Son spluttered. “What? That-that is an offensively simple way to put it-”
“But he’s not wrong,” Mei interrupted with a grin.
Red Son contemplated throwing them both into the circle and then running away, but that would simply be foolish and separate him from his fire. Instead he cursed their ashes under his breath and finished drawing the spell out.
“Do you want food or not?” He gritted out.
That at least got them moving into the circle and shutting their mouths. At least temporarily.
“Let’s go, Sifu Samadhi,” Mei said.
“I hope the saying of mortals melting in these portals is true for you two,” he said before activating it.
“Wait,” Mk said. What-?”
The portal burst into flames.
| beginning | next |
#KNOX WRITES (me)#Monkie Kid the Empire of Samadhi AU#LEGO Monkie Kid#Monkie Kid#Monkie Kid Red Son#Monkie Kid Mei#Monkie Kid Mk#Monkie Destiny Challenge (2023)#Wooooo#ALRIGHT THAT'S THAT#The last bit of this I was gonna put into the next prompt but eh i needed the focus bit here so if the cut seems awkward that's why#you know my plan wasn't to only write snippets from this au for this prompt month but at this rate we're just gonna get thirty days of THIS#*WHEEZING*#HG;LSKFJAWEOF#ANYWAY GOOD MORNING REMEMBER TO HYDRATE#i really didn't edit this one much but#NO BETA WE DIE LIKE LBD'S HOPE FOR THE WORLD#EAT A SNACK HUG UR FRIEND HAVE A GREAT DAY
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I took a personal day to try and get normal life stuff done. I got the first thing on my list done before lunch. The rest of the stuff wasn't done until after dinner. THERE WERE ONLY THREE THINGS ON MY TO DO LIST!!!
#wtf wtf wtf#like actually wtf#why did it take so long#it was only three things#THREE THINGS!#I could have done them early in the day#instead I did a bunch of nothing#I could have been working on my cosplay project#but noooooooooooooo#unproductiveness won#why#whhhyyyyyyy#whhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy#anyway the cat says hi#she's here using my leg as a pillow to prop herself up on#I have to work the closing shift tomorrow#that means I won't be home until one thirty in the morning on Saturday#and I have to be up early on Saturday#because I signed up to volunteer for something#my shift for that starts at nine thirty in the morning#I have to get there at nine to find parking and find the place#because google maps only gets you into the ball park and doesn't take you the whole way there#I also need to run a bunch of laundry this weekend#sigh#wow#I love how the tags turned into whatever the hell this is#seems to be becoming a pattern...#goodnight
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I need things to stop HAPPENING
#nothing's wrong i just seem unable to catch my breath#i work for eight hours and then i have something almost every night when i get home#movie nights or social nights or volunteering nights or nights where i just can't do anything because i had therapy that day#don't get me started on weekends#i volunteer for 2-4 hours on Saturday mornings and i have hangouts on Saturday afternoons and DND on Sundays#and that's without counting any of the many variable things that i may attend on a Saturday#pride is this weekend and don't get me wrong I'm really looking forward to going#but i need like 3 days where i sit in my house and no one asks me to go anywhere#i want to make as many of the volunteer things as i can bc it only happens for about 18 weeks out of the year and there's only 12 left#what about Thursday and Friday you ask? Thursday is also volunteering#because that is when the miniature horses have their classes and what am i supposed to do? NOT go help with miniature horses???#fridays are usually clear except for the occasional hangout#i don't know why i can't seem to keep a balance in my life#es dificil#anyway i have to leave for work thirty minutes early today so i can make it to the barn in time to get the minis ready#yesterday i had to leave two hours early because i had an anxiety attack that lasted well over two hours and persisted through a nap#where is the balance.... i enjoy doing all these things... but my energy doesn't....#anyway i need a rich person to decide I'm entertaining and sponsor me so i only have to work part time and i can do my funny little arts#that seems realistic right?
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Every so often I see comments on pics of like The Thing or Escape from New York or whatever that are like "damn his son looks exactly like him" and every time I think Wyatt Russell is the mid version of his father, I am astounded as to how that man has such hot parents but he is sO average, how does that even happen.
#his seventy year old parents are more fuckable than he is-#i haven't even watched anything with wyatt russell i just see those comments google him and i'm like uhh#anyway it is one thirty in the morning lol#penelope rambles
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okay but you* can see how six hours isn't half a shift right? you see this right? six fucking hours cannot be a half shift if the full shift is seven a half hours long. you fucking see this right?? right???
*whoever writes the details in job posts
#the job post: it's a morning half shift#me: oh cool! perfect for me. let me just check the details and--#the job post: it's a nine to three#me: morning half shift my fucKING ASS#half that shift aint even in the morning what the actual fcuk i hate this so much. why are jobs posts all like this#like i know they do it so they don't hafta have a full time worker on their taxes or whatever but jesus fucking christ my dude#at least make it an ACTUAL MORNING SHIFT you son of a fucking gun. why are you LYING TO ME#the same fucking goes to all those “night shifts”. that's an afternoon shift you lying cunning sonova--#i have class exclusively in the afternoon (they vary but they're all afternoon turns) so i can get a job in the morning or night right?#WRONG. somehow both the morning AND night shifts coincide with my classes#like motherfucker how even????#a morning shift should not fucking go past one thirty pm if the afternoon classes all start at two pm!!!#IT SHOULD NOT GO INTO THE PM AT ALL!!! IT'S MORNING!!!#and the night shifts. god the night shifts. they're all afternoon shifts but two hours later#mf that aint night you're just scared of the dark#nvm finding a proper night job that don't require like thirty years of experience in the area to even get an interview or isn't security#i want to fucking scream#but anyways#vent post#vent
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The Mouse Is Back
#i can hear him squeaking like brother just shut up#my big thing with pests is like. if i cant see or hear u we're chill. but the second they get bold and start getting into my shit or#making noise? goodbye#anyway i thought a trap got one of them so unless theres a ratatouille sized nest somewhere..#i keep hearing it so intermittently like bro shut UP im trying to SLEEP its SIX THIRTY IN THE MORNING#and i have shit to do today!!!!!!#talk tag
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scary? my god, you're divine
Hitman/Mob!Bucky x Reader
Run-through: Your marriage to Bucky Barnes was crucial in stopping the rivalry that had been getting rather violent recently between the two families. You agreed to it. But there was one little problem. Although people knew of Bucky as being a ruthless, fiercely loyal, and feared hitman, no one had ever seen his face. In the rare occasions when he’d been seen out during assignments, it was rumoured that he always wore some sort of mask which covered most of his face. So you ended up marrying a man, and had no idea what he looked like. But surely that wouldn’t be an issue. It’s not like his one touch would get you addicted. Who cared what he looked like? It’s not like you could grow to love someone like him anyway… right?
Themes: arranged marriage, age gap (reader is in her mid twenties, bucky’s in his late thirties), mentions of violence and death, hitman!Bucky, smut, fluff, explicit language, virgin!reader, HEA
Something woke you up in the middle of the night.
And you’d been staring at the dark ceiling above your bed for the past few minutes now. What had woken you up? It could’ve been the strong winds hitting the large Georgian windows. Or perhaps it was the soft ticking of the nearby clock. Or maybe even the weight of all the incessant thoughts running through your head.
Gods, you thought, what a day.
It had started out like any other. Your father was pacing around, worried and barking orders on the phone, trying to find a way to put a stop to this chaos that was quickly forming into a full war between him and his number one rival. Small attacks had turned to frequent drive-bys, threats had turned into taking turns and blowing up each other’s warehouses and clubs. And it would only get worse and worse.
But this morning, as he watched you come downstairs and into the dining room for breakfast, something in his eyes was different. And you could tell what was coming. You had been thinking about this for days. So when he sat you down and discussed how you could do your part in helping to put an end to all of this.
“It’s only a matter of time before he sends his son, his favourite weapon after us all,” Your father sounded defeated. “And none of us would survive him. No one ever does. You know that.”
You nodded, understanding what he meant. “I know.”
The son of your father’s rival, Bucky Barnes, was a name which could make even powerful men like your father tremble in fear. He was like a ghost. No one ever saw him. No one knew what he looked like. Those who had seen him claimed that he always wore a muzzle-like mask to conceal his identity. He was known for being his father’s most prized weapon. They say he never misses, that his aim is and has always been as sure as Eros’ arrows. He was like an evil Cupid.
“The marriage would only be on paper of course, you don’t have to live with him.” Your father explained, seeming desolated, “But you being married to him would make us family, and…” He trailed off, sighing.
But you knew what he meant. Family meant everything in this society. If your family and the rival’s were joined to each other by marriage, all attacks would cease. Because keeping family safe was everyone’s number one priority, even in this line of work.
So this was all up to you now. Your family’s safety, the safety of people who worked with and for your father, all the allies, and friends, and acquaintances. It was a heavy weight to carry.
“I’ll do it.”
Things happened so quickly after that. Phone calls were had, arrangements and deals were made, and by the afternoon, a sheet of paper was brought to you. That’s it. No groom, no fancy shit. Just a piece of paper on which Bucky Barnes had already signed. And with your signature added next to his, you two were now forever husband and wife by law.
It was weird, being married to a man you had never seen before. He was just a name. Granted, a name with immense magnitude in the society, but still just a name. No face to go with it.
By the evening, your things were packed. It was an order by your new husband. He wanted his new bride in his home, and things were so freshly mended that neither you nor your father wanted to argue. So Bucky sent cars and a bunch of his soldiers to escort you to his house. It was not unexpected that he was so absent from all this. Bucky Barnes had a reputation of living in the shadows. He was so rarely seen.
Bucky’s house was not too far from your family home. In fact, the closer you got to your new home, the more you realised that despite everything, you did not mind this as much as you thought you would.
Your husband’s home was this stunning piece of architecture. A lavish Georgian-style mansion. Beige stone, carved details and mouldings around the many windows and main entrance. Dark shingles on the roof, well-manicured lawn, a long driveway giving it a sense of both elegance and exclusivity. The mansion sat on a beautiful, seemingly endless estate. Lush and green. It was a testament to the wealth and the power of its owner.
You were politely led inside the home by one of the many staff members who took care of the house. And the interior was just as breathtaking. Luxurious, with the right amount of vintage accents.
“We did what we could with the limited time we had to prepare a room for you.” The kind lady had said to you. She also mentioned that this room would be entirely yours. Bucky apparently had his own on the other side of the mansion.
You murmured that it was alright, and when she finally showed you to the room they had ready for you, you were pleasantly impressed. The layout, the colour theme, the decor, all of it was to your liking. You even had a personal little balcony which looked over the endless green backyard.
That night you dined alone, which was not a surprise. Everyone knew Bucky Barnes was a busy man, and he was apparently above trivial things like dining with his new wife. But the silence was welcomed. After dinner you found yourself back in your bedroom, and soon in bed with a book.
Well, maybe this was your new life now. Grand mansion with an impressive library. Solo dinners and kind staff members. A giant, dreamy bedroom all for you. Dare you say, it wasn’t too bad.
–
But here you were now, unable to fall back asleep after some mysterious thing woke you up. You sighed, sitting up and leaning against the headboard. You couldn’t even blame your new surroundings for your inability to sleep. Everything here was so quiet, and comfortable. Even this new bed felt like laying on the fluffiest cloud. Perhaps you could read some more–
You froze when you heard it.
Someone breathing. Someone else’s breaths. A soft exhale, but it was enough to make your heart race in panic. It was the middle of the night. And there was someone in this dark room with you.
Slowly, you tried to reach for the lamp on your bedside table to turn it on, but then you heard a voice say, “Don’t.”
A smooth, relaxed, male voice. Sounding like it came from one corner of the room. It could only be one man, couldn’t it?
“Bucky?” You questioned, for some reasons pulling the covers up to your chin as if he was not a man but a ghost.
A pause, then he said, like he was gently teasing you, “Hello, wife. Can’t sleep?”
You blinked a few times to adjust to the darkness better. You strained your eyes until you could see the silhouette of a man in the corner of the room. He was sitting in one of the sofas near the unlit fireplace, quiet, still like a marble statue.
There was almost no light coming into the room. The thick curtains allowed very little moonlight in, and it was hard to see. But you couldn’t ignore that large silhouette now that you’d noticed him. Something near him was shiny, almost metal like, you couldn’t tell what it was.
“Do you always lurk around in the shadows like a ghost?” You asked, wondering where the hell you found the confidence to talk to one of the finest hitmen like this. It’s not like he would shoot you if he didn’t like you. A small voice said. Would he?
A chuckle. Deep, and careless. A boyish sound.
“It’s my house,” He responded in that same gentle but teasing tone, “I lurk wherever I please.”
Well, he did have a point there.
“Well then,” You said in a casual tone, “If you’re done lurking and spying on me, I’d like to go back to bed.”
A soft scoff. Then he said, “I’ve watched you toss and turn for the past half an hour. I’d say you’re having trouble turning your brain off.”
Half an hour?!
“Wouldn’t you?” You retorted, keeping your voice calm and steady. “If you were forced to marry someone who’s so mysterious that no one’s ever seen them before, wouldn’t you have some trouble turning your brain off?”
“Ah.” He got up, and you could tell by the sound of his footsteps that he was approaching the bed, “No one forced you to marry me. A suggestion was made and you agreed to it.”
You replied quickly, “The alternative was watching everyone I love and myself be murdered by you, so semantics.”
Another chuckle as he stopped at the edge of the bed, so close to you. You refused to move. You tilted your head up but could still only see his silhouette. He spoke in that teasing tone again, “They said you were smart, and beautiful. Guess they forgot to mention you were bratty too.”
You frowned. “What?”
Silence. Then he began moving away from your bed and towards the door. “Good night, wife.”
“Good night,” You muttered, slightly annoyed and confused, “Ghost.”
You heard his soft chuckle right as he shut the door behind him and left you all alone again in the dark. You didn’t dare turn the lamp on even after he left.
—
“Is Bucky ever home?”
You asked one of the staff members at breakfast the next morning. The lady smiled at you and answered, “He keeps to himself. We rarely ever know if he’s home or not. He works at odd hours, you see? Besides, our job is to take care of the house. We clean, we make the meals and leave them in the fridge, we get our paychecks each month. Everyone is happy. We don’t pry.”
You nodded, sipping on some tea. “So… are you one of the people who don’t know what he looks like?”
“Oh no. I saw him recently.” She said, smiling.
“How recent?” You asked.
“A couple of months ago. He’s a busy man, he’s rarely ever home.”
Unbelievable.
“Doesn’t it feel like you’re employed by a ghost?”
She smiled again, refilled your cup and said, “Oh, we’re used to Mr. Barnes. Sure, sometimes it feels like the house is way too empty. But look, now you’re here! We get to take proper care of someone for once.”
She was so cheery and kind that you couldn’t help but smile at her words. How on earth did a man that grim manage to have the best staff members in the whole world?
—
The following night, Bucky came to see you again.
You woke up upon hearing the door of your bedroom opening. You sat up again, leaning against the headboard. You didn’t reach for the lamp on your bedside table this time. Instead you said, “Lurking again, I see.”
“Oh yes,” He answered, taking a seat on the same sofa by the dark fireplace. “How was your day, wife?” He asked, as if this was the most normal way to have a conversation.
“Good.” You said, “I spoke with your staff members. They say they barely ever see you at home.”
He sighed, “I barely ever am at home.”
You rolled your eyes even though you knew he couldn’t see it. He was too… intangible. Faceless. There was nothing you knew about him aside from his profession. And not knowing was starting to annoy you.
“Why can’t I see you?” You asked. “I mean it’s not fair. I married you. I’ll eventually see you someday.”
He was silent for a moment. Then asked, “Will you?”
“Well, yes.”
“What for?” There was that teasing tone again. So subtle. But it was there.
Your face burned. “Well… we’re married.” You stated the obvious. “And it won’t be long till our families start asking for, you know, grandbabies.”
“Babies can be made in the dark.” His smooth voice felt like a gentle caress. Like the finest, cool silk sliding over your warm body…
Oh no. You can’t like his voice. Not yet.
“That’s not what I–,” You sighed, “Why are you so against showing your face? Are you ugly?”
He chuckled then. Loudly, if you could see him you’d surely see his shoulders shaking. “You think too much, wife.” He got up again, ready to leave. “Good night.”
You sighed, defeated, and listened to the sounds of him leaving the room. Then almost angrily whispered, “Good night, husband.”
—
“It’s because he’s ugly, isn’t it?” You asked two of the staff members one morning while they set the table for your breakfast. “That’s why he doesn’t show his face?”
The two ladies chuckled to themselves, and one of them said, “No he isn’t.” She sounded confident too.
“Have you seen his face? Like properly?”
They both nodded.
“And? You don’t find it weird that he doesn’t show his face?” You questioned. “He refuses to let me see him. He only comes to talk to me in the dark. Like some messed up Eros.” You whispered the last part to yourself.
One of the ladies said, gently, “Give him time. He’s not… terrible.”
—
“Your staff speaks highly of you.” You said to him when he came to see you that night. Again, sat in that corner like a ghost whose only purpose was to haunt your bedroom specifically.
“Do they?”
“Yes,” You made yourself comfortable, leaning against the headboard like you had the habit of doing. “Do you pay them to sing your praises?”
He chuckled. “Is it that hard to believe that I’m not some sort of monster?”
You sighed. “If not then why can’t I see you?”
“Not yet.” He said.
“Why?”
“Because I said so.” He replied, and by the sounds of it, he stood up. Surely ready to leave. “Now, is there anything you need?”
You tried to see if you could tell where he was standing but the room was too dark. However, it seemed like, judging by the sound of footsteps, that he’d gotten closer to the end of your bed. “There’s nothing to do around the house. The ladies take care of everything. I appreciate the library, but…”
He was quiet, like he was thinking. Then said, “I’ll see to it.”
“I’m assuming you won’t let me go back to work in my family’s companies.” You could tell he wouldn’t.
“No,” He said, as expected. “You’re my wife now. I’m well equipped to provide for you and see to your needs for the rest of our lives. But if you have any hobbies, please, indulge away.”
Something about his calm tone made you confess your little secret, “I like to paint. I’ve always wanted to be an artist.”
You didn’t know why you were telling him all this. Perhaps the dark helped you open up better. Maybe the fact that you didn’t know him made it easier to talk. Like how people tend to prefer texting over calls. Him being so invisible made it so much more effortless.
You continued, “I always wonder what it must be like to have an exhibition of my works.” You chuckled. “I know it sounds vain but… I’ve always wanted to let my mind and soul leak all over canvases, and share it with the world. I think it’s such a brave thing when people do that.”
He was quiet for a few seconds, then spoke in that teasing tone, “Painting, huh?”
You rolled your eyes. “You don’t get to make fun of me, ghost.”
He chuckled. “Get some sleep, wife.”
And then he left.
—
The following morning, you woke up to two surprises.
The first one was waiting for you at the breakfast table. You noticed the box on the floor immediately. It was partially opened, and had a note stuck to it.
The note read: ‘Since there’s nothing to do around the house…’ written in a messy handwriting. Surely Bucky’s.
You opened the box and in there, on a folded blanket, was a sleeping, fluffy little puppy. A black lab it seemed. With a pink collar around her neck. You gasped as you gently picked it up and couldn’t resist bringing it up to your face. Puppies always smelt so good.
The little one yawned and let out some cute noises as you held her up to look at her properly. By now the two ladies whom you saw frequently around the house walked up to you and one of them said, “He left something else for you.”
You followed the ladies, new puppy in hand, and they led you to what seemed like a newly built studio. It was in an area of the mansion where you didn’t go very often. And as you walked in, you gasped in surprise for the second time that morning.
It was located on the ground floor. A bright and spacious space. The beige walls felt like a giant blank canvas in itself. The large Georgian windows allowed the perfect amount of light in. And everything in the room was neatly organised. Art supplies, paints, canvases, palettes, easels.
Oh, it was perfect.
The ladies left you to explore on your own, saying something about bringing you breakfast in here. But you were distracted by the bright yellow sticky note on one of the easels. You walked up to it and it read: ‘For your mind and soul to leak all over. Paint me something. I’ll consider it a wedding gift.’
You couldn’t help the smile on your face as you read and re-read the note left by your mysterious husband. You whispered to your sleeping puppy, “Maybe our ghost isn’t so bad, huh?”
-
Hours went by.
The ladies brought you and the puppy your meals, a bed for the pup, snacks for you, all while you were busy letting your creativity flow as much as possible.
The first few canvases were horrible according to you. You hadn’t picked up a paintbrush in so long so it felt like day one all over again. But gradually, over the next few canvases, you could see what your brain was trying to create.
The blank canvas soon turned into flowy shapes. Curves, facial features, hands. Entwining bodies. Two of them. And the colour purple, lots of it. It didn’t make too much sense at first, but the more you worked on it the more you realised what you were painting.
It was your version of ‘The Abduction of Psyche’. How fitting.
By the time you were done and happy with it, your back was aching from sitting on that stool all day. It was almost time for dinner. The sun had set. The puppy was awake so you held her up to show her the canvas and asked, “You think our ghost will like it?”
She let out the tiniest, softest howl.
“Yeah, I think so too.”
You left to shower and have dinner. Then once it was time for bed you asked one of the staff members, “Does Bucky have some kind of an office?”
She replied saying yes he does, and that she could show you where it was. You grabbed the not yet dry canvas and carefully carried it all the way to where Bucky’s office was. The lady again left you all by yourself to explore.
At first you didn’t want to spend too much time in there. It was Bucky’s space after all. But then you thought, if he was comfortable walking into your bedroom at odd times during the night, why shouldn’t you check out his office?
So you did. You left the canvas where it could dry without any problem and where Bucky would see it upon entering the room. Then you began exploring. The room was not what you were expecting for someone like Bucky. You thought it would be less… old school.
He had a vintage looking typewriter on his desk for gods’ sake. Not one he used of course, but it added layers to his character you thought. Dark wooden furniture, comfortable looking chairs, more bookshelves filled with cloth-bound books. It was… cosy.
So cosy in fact that you grabbed a book and made yourself comfortable on one of the chairs. You’d read for an hour or so then head off to bed, you thought.
But soon, you drifted off to sleep. Right there. In Bucky’s office.
-
You woke up and felt something soft and fluffy moving around on your lap. You opened your eyes and quickly realised you weren’t in bed. The room was dark. With very little light coming in from the outside. There were no curtains in this room, but also it was situated in an area of the mansion where very little moonlight came in.
Before you could panic though, a voice spoke up from not too far away, “You’ve been busy today, I see.”
Ah, Bucky. And fuck. You’d fallen asleep in his office.
You refused to feel embarrassed. So you asked, “Did you like your wedding gift?”
“Yes.” He replied, and gauging by the sound you could tell he was sitting at his desk, in the darkest corner of the room. “I’ll hang it in my office.”
You smiled in the dark, feeling a little proud of yourself. “And where’s my wedding gift?”
“In your lap.”
Fair.
“What should we name her?” You asked, reaching to caress your puppy who let out an adorable grunt. “Hedone? Donnie, for short?”
He let out a chuckle. “You are really leaning into this whole Eros-Psyche thing, huh?”
You shrugged. “Well, I wouldn’t have to if you’d just show me your face. But you keep choosing not to, so deal with it.”
A pause. Then he asked, “You like your new studio?”
That made you sit up straighter. “I love it. Thank you.” Then you added, “My family always thought painting was a waste of time. They said it kept my head in the clouds too much. That it was… pointless.”
He was quick to say, “It’s not. Besides, your hobbies don’t have to make sense to anyone else but yourself. And I’ve seen the other canvases you left in the studio. They’re good.”
You turned to face the dark corner he was in. “You think?”
“Yes,” He said. “We can hold an exhibition if you want. Let me know when you’re ready.”
You let out a surprised chuckle. And when he didn’t laugh you realised he was serious. “Bucky, it's not so easy.” You explained calmly. “There’s so much work that goes into it, there needs to be some cohesion to the art pieces. There’s marketing, there’s research, there’s…” You exhaled, “There’s a lot of work to be done. Art exhibitions aren’t as easy or quick as you think it is.”
He replied, “Leave all that to me. Just let me know when you want to hold one.”
Just like that?
“I… okay.”
You felt warm in a way you’d never felt before. No one had ever taken your interests so seriously before. You’d never even been able to discuss this freely about your hobbies. And here Bucky was, ready to listen and interact with it.
You got up to leave because this was… a lot to process. “Well then. Good night, Bucky.”
A soft scoff. “Think I liked it more when you called me a ghost.”
You smiled as you approached the door, puppy in hand and amazed at how well you were able to navigate in the dark. “Night, ghost.”
He gave you a satisfied hum, then, “Good night, wife.”
—
It was bizarre to admit but you’d gotten used to those conversations in the dark with your husband. Days went by quickly given how engrossed you were with painting. Especially with the thought of a potential exhibition now in the back of your mind. Gods, that would be a dream.
And while your days consisted of painting, playing and training your puppy, exploring more and more of the grounds and your new home, making quick trips to the stores to get more supplies, catching up with your friends who were still trying to grasp the fact that you got married so quickly, getting to know the household staff and the guards better, your night consisted of waiting and fighting your sleep until Bucky came to talk to you.
It was always short conversations. Filled with easy banter and teasing tones, sarcastic comments and you asking each and every night if he was in the mood to show his face. Bucky always said no. And you always sent him off with a ‘good night, ghost’.
You had gotten used to your ghost. As had your puppy. She would bark happily each time Bucky would enter your bedroom door at night. She’d run to him for playtime and cuddles as he sat in his dark corner and spoke with you until you fell asleep.
Bucky would often leave you some kind of a note, for you to read in the morning. At the breakfast table, or in your studio. Sometimes he would leave compliments and comments on your dry canvases. Eventually, you stopped fighting the smiles which formed on your face as you read his notes.
But all of it only made you want to see him more. Not that it would change anything. Bucky had quickly become… a friend, you’d say. A confidant if you will. He had become a habit. Part of your routine.
And then one night, he didn’t come to see you.
You waited. He usually came around midnight. It was well past 2 a.m. and he never came.
At some point you went downstairs, pretending as if you just needed some water. One of the guards caught you trying to peek out into the driveway from the kitchen window.
“Boss is not home yet, ma’am.” He said.
You acted like you didn’t care. But still asked, “He does this often?”
“Sometimes.”
You nodded. You took your drink and with your puppy in your arms you walked back upstairs, passing by the many guards who were on duty inside the house at nighttime.
“It’s alright, he’s probably just busy.” You whispered to the sleeping pup as you made your way up. “Or maybe he’s hurt and tending to his wounds somewhere else.” You felt a gentle pinch in your chest at the thought of Bucky hurt and alone out there. So you forced yourself to think of something else. Something way worse. “Or maybe he’s with someone else.” You scoffed, nuzzling the soft fur of your pup, “This marriage means nothing to him anyway. But that’s alright, we don’t need him. I’ve got you. We’ve got each other. Don’t we?”
Safe to say, you went to bed slightly annoyed that night. And in denial too because you refused to admit that you missed him.
–
There was a note waiting for you in your studio the next morning.
It read: ‘No I did not spend the night with someone else. I’ll explain later. See you tonight, wife.’
Huh. Looks like the guards have really good ears.
Well, whatever. It’s not like you were impatiently waiting for night to come just so you could talk to your ghost of a husband. Right?
Except you were though. So much that you couldn’t paint a decent thing. You were easily giving up on each canvas, and leaving a trail of unfinished work the more time went on.
Eventually you sighed and left the studio. You tried reading but that wasn’t happening either. So you did the only thing you knew would take your mind off things. You asked the ladies to show you where everything was kept in the kitchen and you got to baking.
Which you did until it was time for bed. Your mood was off, and it was all because of a faceless man. And that somehow annoyed you even more.
You grabbed a plate of the mini muffins you’d made earlier and made your way upstairs. Your puppy had just gotten used to the stairs so she happily followed you everywhere you went now.
You proceeded to sit in bed, and eat your muffins angrily and forced yourself to try to sleep.
-
You woke up sometime later. And you just knew who was in the room with you.
Except he wasn’t in his usual spot.
He was standing by the windows which faced your bed this time, with his back to you. The curtains were pulled, the moonlight came and there was his dark silhouette. And… you frowned as you noticed the shiny metal arm.
“You’re home.” You said.
Bucky turned his head to the side, “I am.” He said.
You took a second or two to admire the side profile. With the moonlight shining all around his silhouette he looked like a fallen angel of sorts. “You didn’t come home last night.”
“I was out working,” He said.
“Maiming and killing?”
“You know me so well.”
“Is that a… metal arm?” You questioned.
“It is.”
“Were you hurt?”
“I was.”
You sighed again. “Is it always going to be bland answers and mystery with you?”
“Get used to it.” He said in that teasing tone.
You got out of bed as quietly as you could. “I think I liked you better without the attitude, when you sat in the corner like a ghost.” You took some steps away from the bed, approaching the giant windows. The room was rather spacious so it would take some more steps to get close to him. If you’d only–
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to do.” He warned, but remained in the same spot.
You groaned. “Don’t you think this is getting tiring? I mean, I’m married to a man I’ve never seen before. In fact, no one has ever seen you. Why? What are you hiding?” You added, sounding defeated.
Bucky lowered his head, which only accentuated how broad his shoulders really were. He sighed. “Do you know how much trouble could’ve been avoided if only Psyche trusted Eros?”
You rolled your eyes. “I think she had her reasons. A mysterious, faceless lover who only shows up in the dark and hides in the shadows is bound to raise some doubts. Don’t you think so?”
He chuckled. You blinked and he’d turned around to face you. But despite that, you couldn’t see his face at all. Even though he was inches away.
He was quiet. Observing you with interest. The moonlight allowed him to see all of you, and he just… stared for a moment or two. A shiver ran down your back. An unfamiliar, but pleasant shiver.
Without a word said, Bucky reached out and gently touched the thin strap of your silky night dress resting on your shoulder. His metal finger gliding along your skin and making you gasp at his cold touch.
“What’s this?” He asked in his usual teasing tone. “Trying to tempt me with this excuse of a night dress, wife?”
Fuck. Had his voice dropped lower?
Fuck! He was so close to you. You didn’t even notice that your heart had begun racing. Your breaths had deepened. Shit. Why was this so hot?!
“Are you? Tempted?” You asked with a steady voice, without thinking obviously. You just needed to say something so he wouldn’t notice the way you were basically panting after him like a thirsty dog.
He chuckled. But remained quiet.
So you said, “Thought so.” You sounded smug but you were feeling the complete opposite.
Bucky scoffed in that arrogant way he often did. It was insane how easily you were able to pick up on his mannerism when you hadn’t even known him for that long. “Is that what you think? That I don’t want to sleep with you?”
Oh.
Oh this was bad. Because now your brain was making up hot, steamy scenes in your head. Scenes involving you and your faceless, mysterious husband in the dark. Entwining bodies on soft bed sheets. Fuck, you should paint that. No, what?
“Then why haven’t you?” You found yourself asking.
Okay then, bold as fuck it is. You’d gone past the point of no return now. Guess it was time for this conversation.
Bucky’s fingers remained on your shoulder, tracing the thin strap there. And you couldn’t see it, but you could hear the smirk in his voice when he asked, “You want me to?” His metal hand dropped to your waist and before you could fully process it, he pulled you closer, leaned in to whisper into your ear, “You want my hands all over you, wife?”
You could feel his slight stubble against your skin as he spoke. His lips brushing against your ear, making you gasp and tremble. Your hands found their way to his shoulders. And oh, he was pulling you even closer. Your chest pressing against his. The cool material of his suit felt amazing against your warm skin.
“Look at you,” He cooed into your ear. “Is this what you want? Hmm?” He placed both his hands on your waist, pulling you into him. His lips moved lower, brushing against your neck as he spoke. “You like how rough my hands feel?” He moved his hands up and down your sides. “Do you know how many people I’ve hurt with these hands?” He chuckled when he heard the tiniest moan leave your mouth. “You’re so soft and warm, aren’t you worried what these hands might do to you?”
He nuzzled your neck, hands roaming all over your sides and back and squeezing your butt. You became so pliant under his touch. Tilting your head back to allow him to kiss all over your neck, pressing your chest more and more against his like you couldn’t get enough. The layers of clothing, you wanted them gone.
With a shaky voice you murmured, “I can’t tell if you’re trying to scare me or turn me on.”
He laughed. And it was the best sound you’d ever heard.
“You’re sick in that pretty head, huh?” He teased. “That beautiful brain is filled with filthy, dirty, dark thoughts, isn’t it?” His metal hand reached up and carefully wrapped around your throat.
You gasped as he squeezed just a little bit. Those dirty thoughts he spoke about really started to fill your head.
“Are you just all talk or–,”
He cut you off by dragging you all the way to your bed, still holding you by the throat.
The back of your knees hit the edge of the bed and he gave you a slight push, ending with you falling onto your bed on your back. You looked up at him, hovering above you, his lower body pressing into yours.
“Do you just run that mouth?,” He asked, supporting himself with one hand while the metal one remained wrapped around your throat, his voice low and menacing but in a way that made your legs part on their own so his hips settled in between them. Your bodies fit together like the most perfect puzzle pieces. “Or do you know how to take it like a brat as well?”
You felt the need to let him know then. ���I don’t know,” You said, sounding both breathless and bratty. “I’ve never had to take it.”
He paused for a moment. Then asked in subtle surprise, “What do you mean?” Even his grip around your throat loosened completely.
You squirmed in slight embarrassment but that only caused your hips to grind against his and for a moment there both of you let out a strained moan. Fuck. The tension between the two of you was almost physical now. Even in the dark, even with Bucky being nothing more than just a shadow above you.
“I, uh…” You cleared your throat, still feeling his cold fingers all over your skin, “I’ve never been with anyone before.”
He was quiet. As if thinking. You tried your hardest but you couldn’t see any of his facial features. You knew he had a slight stubble because you’d felt it earlier. But aside from that, you knew nothing. Not even his eye colour.
“You want us to stop?” He asked, shifting his body slightly as if he was ready to pull away if you asked him to.
“No,” You answered way too quickly. Then you got bold again and let your hands find their way back to his shoulders. You pulled him down, closer to you just a little and said, “This is okay.”
His fingers moved up, from your neck to your mouth. “Yeah? You want this, huh?” He mumbled, tracing your mouth with his fingers. You shivered under his touch. “You’ve been a whiny little brat lately, haven’t you, wife? Pouting and all just because I wouldn’t show myself to you.” He whispered, leaning in to just brush his lips against yours. You gasped at the sensation of his soft lips rubbing against yours. Bucky chuckled at your reaction. “Don’t think my staff doesn’t report back to me. I’ve been well aware of all the times you asked the ladies to give you details about me.”
Now that made you squirm in embarrassment. Still you said, sounding a little annoyed at being caught. “Can you blame me?”
“Can’t you just trust me?” He argued.
The danger and authority in his tone had your thighs clenching together to try and alleviate the torturous pain in between your legs. You were almost certain you had never been this turned on and annoyed at the same damn time before. You sighed in frustration. “This isn’t fair.”
“No, it isn’t,” He said, pulling away and began undressing you to your pleasant surprise. “Deal with it.”
Oh fuck.
Fuck… You had to hold back from whimpering each time his hands rubbed against your skin. He took his time in sliding the straps of your night dress down your shoulders, dragging the silky fabric down your body, leaving you more and more naked under him.
You shivered once he left your night dress bunched around your waist carelessly. It wasn’t just because of the slightly cold air. It was because even though you couldn’t see him, you could tell he was staring right at you.
You spoke in a hushed voice, not daring to speak loud in fear that it might break whatever spell you were under. “So you get to see me naked all you want, but I can’t see your face?”
He chuckled. “You want me to leave this room right now? Leave you here all wet and squirming? Or do you want me to take care of it and make you come? Huh?”
That shut you up really quickly.
“I thought so.” He sounded smug again when he said that. “I should spank you for the brat you are. But since it’s your first time… I’ll be nice.”
His hands touched you everywhere, your thighs, your stomach, your sides, your chest, your neck… everywhere. He left you gasping and trembling under him.
“Please.” You caught yourself whispering.
Bucky leaned down, his soft mouth brushing against your cheek as he said, “Please what?”
You squirmed, “Touch me, please.”
He chuckled. You felt his warm breath against your skin as he kissed his way down your naked body. “Look at you,” He murmured, lips brushing against your stomach, “You’re so eager already.”
You heard the faint chuckle which left his mouth the moment he noticed your legs spread apart for him naturally. Your face felt like it was burning but fuck, you were too turned on to even be properly embarrassed. Also, being in complete darkness helped.
Damn. You were really getting intimate with your husband whom you hadn’t even seen yet. And somehow that fact was making you want this even more.
But that mystery stopped being an issue the moment Bucky leaned in and kissed your wet folds, his tongue slowly circling around your throbbing clit and licking down, parting your wet folds with ease.
He poked at your entrance with his tongue and your body felt hotter than before. Back arching off the bed as you let out a soft moan at the foreign feeling. Fuck he felt good. You whimpered as you felt his tongue stroke your most sensitive parts. Your immediate reaction was to pull your hips back from the overwhelmingly good sensation his mouth was causing. And that made him grip your thighs tighter, keeping them pinned to the bed.
“Stop moving.” He ordered and the authority in his voice made you tremble.
You whined as you felt his strong arms wrapped around your thighs, keeping you in place and close to his mouth. The metal hand on your warm skin made you shiver and tremble so much that you were thankful for the darkness.
The small amount of moonlight which came in allowed you to only see the silhouette of his broad shoulders, and his head moving slowly, sensually in between your legs. Fuck… somehow the mystery only made it hotter.
Oh you were fucked in the head for real.
And oh, Bucky was a fucking tease. Once he noticed how easily you cried out and moaned for him, he slowed down and began kissing around your clit just to purposely mess with you. He kissed your thighs, purposely avoiding touching where he knew you needed him the most. He kissed down all the way to your core, and gently bit your skin around your inner thighs.
“Bucky, please!” You cried out, hand reaching for his hair. When you managed to grab a fistful of his soft hair, you gave it a gentle tug. “Stop teasing me.”
“You don’t get to give me orders, wife.” He said, sounding all proud and mighty. “I could just walk out of here and leave you like this. Naked and squirming.”
“Please,” You begged again. You could feel your arousal trickling out of you.
A scoff. Then he leaned in again. You whined and whimpered under him, with your legs wrapped around his head. Fingers in his hair, massaging his scalp instinctively as he flicked, and sucked, and teasing your clit as much as he could.
“You’ve been a brat because you wanted your husband’s attention so badly, huh?” He taunted. “Is that what you wanted? Just my attention?” He chuckled. “You’re as calm as a happy kitten now, aren’t you?”
His stubble rubbed against your sensitive skin, and the friction burned a little but it was the kind of pain you kept wanting more of. You wanted more of him.
“Fuck, your mouth feels so good,” You murmured, throwing your head back, moaning as he kept teasing your entrance with the tip of his tongue.
“Come for me, wife.” His hands wrapped around your thighs, securing you in his grip as he pushed his face further into you, making you cry out loud.
You couldn’t even hold on for much longer, and ended up coming undone all over his tongue. Heart racing, legs trembling in his grip as you came. Your moans were soft and incessant.
Fuck… that felt amazing.
You had barely gotten your heart to stop racing, and Bucky was already standing up and in the dark you couldn’t see very well but it did look like he was moving away from the bed.
“You’re leaving?” You asked, unable to stop yourself from sounding a little upset at his departure.
All he said was, “Good night, wife. See you tomorrow.”
You scoffed after he shut the door behind him, leaving you in darkness yet again. “Ghost.”
—
That night ended up being the first of many.
Your days consisted of painting, and finally finding a flow in most of your pieces. Perhaps if you’re able to make a decent collection, you could start thinking about the exhibition seriously, you thought. When you weren’t painting you were either training your rapidly growing puppy, or baking. You’d begun taking your puppy out for walks around the mansion, consequently doing some more exploring of the grounds.
After all that, each night you’d get in bed and wait for Bucky. It became part of your routine. And each night with him was different. He’d spend his time touching you slowly until you were purring for him like a kitten. Kissing you all over your body in the dark. Making you come all over his tongue and fingers. Kissing you until you moaned and pulled him closer just to feel his weight pressing down on you.
But he would always leave after making you come. And you two never actually fucked. Neither would he let you make him come.
On nights when he wouldn’t make it home, you’d worry yourself to sleep. But then each morning you’d find a note from him either in your studio or the breakfast table. He would always say some cheesy shit. And he would always promise to come see you later that night.
On nights when you two didn’t engage in anything sexual, it was still just as fulfilling. Bucky would tell you things about his work, his past, his family. You learnt that he was over a decade older than you, and teased him about being an old man until he pinned you to the bed and tickled you until you couldn’t breathe.
You learnt that he liked to keep to himself and stay as far away from his family as possible. He liked peace and quiet, which would explain his lovely home being here away from most people.
The more you learned about him, the easier it was to grow fond of him. But the more you grew fond of him, the greedier you got. You wanted more. More of his time, his touch, his attention, and most of all, you wanted to see him.
The mystery, while hot as fuck, was killing you.
—
One night, things changed.
Bucky came into your room as usual. He’d gotten bolder lately, he wouldn’t sit in the corner like a ghost anymore, instead he would find his way to your bed and only leave that bed after making you come hard.
Tonight started out the same way.
You felt his hands all over you as he pulled you closer to him under the covers. You giggled as he bit and licked that one sensitive spot on your neck. Your fingers had a habit of finding themselves in his hair. It was insane how easily you’d gotten used to being with him in the dark. How easily you could find his mouth with your own. How easily you’d find your way into his arms.
It was weirdly comforting. His warmth, his voice, his touch.
“Tell me about your day,” He murmured, kissing your neck while his hands grabbed you and caressed you wherever he could reach.
You squealed when you felt his metal fingers wandering dangerously close to your clit. Then said, “It went pretty well. I went out to buy some supplies, made a new friend at the store, I went to see my father but he wasn’t home. I took our dog for a walk, I painted…,” You gasped when his mouth trailed down till he took a nipple into his warm mouth, while he slid two fingers inside you gently. “Oh fuck…” You whined.
He kissed his way up to your mouth again and said, “You sound so good when you moan for me, wife.” His lips brushed against yours.
He was so close. And it was dark. And you wanted so desperately to see him.
He moved his fingers expertly in and out of you. Making sure to brush against your most sensitive spots each time, turning you into a whimpering mess under him. He gave you a gentle kiss, swallowing your moans as he brought you closer to the edge.
You whimpered and whined, then in the moment you just blurted out, “Can I please see you now?”
Bucky stopped. He pulled away from you, making you whimper again as he got up and got out of your bed.
In the dark it took a while for you to figure out where he was, whether he was still nearby or already making his way out the door. But he was here, standing near the bed.
“We talked about this.” He said, sounding grave and disappointed.
“But it’s been so long.” You argued. “I trust you.”
He let out a loud exhale and said, “Then trust me when I say, it’s better this way.”
You let out a sigh. “You can’t keep me in the dark forever, Bucky. Literally!”
“Yes I can. I will.” He said arrogantly. That tone of his bothered you. “It’s better this way.” He repeated, but it sounded a lot like he was trying to convince himself instead of you.
“Oh screw you!” You said with enough bitterness to make a grown man flinch. “If you won’t let me see you then stop coming into my bedroom. I don’t want to see you unless you agree to let go of this weird persona.”
“Fine.”
—
That night was the last time you heard from Bucky.
He didn’t come home the following day. Nor the one after that.
And no one knew where he went.
You could tell something was wrong when you began noticing that the guards were talking in hushed voices whenever you were around. You noticed that the amount of security around the house doubled. That’s when you began to worry.
By the third night, the entire house was filled with this almost tangible tension, worry, and fear. The house staff wouldn’t talk to you as much. The guards were always in and out of the house. The head of security advised you to not wander too far away from the house while you roam the grounds.
You noticed the guards would follow you whenever you left the property. Be it when you left to visit your father at your old house or when you went out to buy supplies.
Then you worried some more. But no one had answers to your questions. Nobody knew where he went. Whether he’s away for an assignment or if he’s simply choosing to be away from home.
You tried your hardest to pretend that you didn’t care. You were still a little angry. After all, why couldn’t you see what he looked like? You’d spend so much time with him in the dark, running your hands all over him, tracing the outline of his facial features, he never had an issue with that. But why couldn’t you see him?
You were angry, but also very much worried by the fourth day. You missed him, you realised. He had become such a habit, such a constant in your days. His sarcastic humour, his gentle hands, his comforting embrace, the way he left you notes in the morning, the way he took your art seriously.
Fuck. You sat up in bed one night, patting ‘his’ side of the bed softly. You missed him. Badly. You felt a pinch inside your chest which you had never felt before. It hurt. You wanted him home. You admitted to yourself with a painful sigh.
“Where are you?” You whispered, looking at the dark corner of your bedroom where he used to sit in silence like a ghost. “It’s okay if you want to stay in the dark forever.” You looked around the dark room which now without him seemed so much bigger and empty, “Just come home.”
—
The next morning, as you half-heartedly approached the kitchen, you overheard something. And quickly realised you shouldn’t have heard it. It was the two ladies talking in hushed tones, the ones who usually served you your meals and often kept you company while you baked.
“...cannot tell her, she’ll be heartbroken.” One of them said gravely.
Sudden panic made your body freeze. You pressed your back against the nearest wall to keep yourself hidden while you processed those cryptic words. No, no, no. Is he hurt? Do they know something you don’t?
The other replied, “But she deserves to know. Even if it’s not confirmed yet. I mean, do you see how she smiles when she reads his notes? Clearly she had grown to care for him. She needs to know.”
The other argued, “I know, but I cannot imagine how hurt she will be when she hears about the rumours that her own father kidnapped her husband due to some past rivalry which was supposedly laid to rest after their wedding.”
“They’ve been looking for him for days now. It’s been too long, he should’ve been found by now.”
Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!
No. This cannot be happening.
You carefully walked away from the kitchen. Thinking, processing, analysing.
If your father did it, it must’ve been for some shitty, arrogant reason. He probably just wanted to rub it in Bucky’s family’s face that he could still eliminate his biggest threat if he wanted to. To show that he could still get rid of them by holding their most precious weapon hostage. To toy with them by making them wait in anticipation. Your father had done it before. Not with Bucky, but other people. He usually never asked for ransom but he liked having his rivals beg him for mercy.
Shit. He’s had Bucky for days now.
You moved without thinking twice about it. For some reason, your brain knew exactly what to do even though your heart was still bothered by a multitude of emotions. It felt like you were on autopilot.
You rushed into Bucky’s office and grabbed a handgun from his desk drawer, checked if it was loaded. It was. You knew Bucky kept it there for safety, he had told you that one time when you two were in bed together.
You let out a frustrated sigh, then felt movement around your ankles. You looked down at your puppy and gave her a sad smile as you bent down to pet her. “I’m gonna go find daddy, okay? I’ll be home soon.” You left her with a kiss.
You rushed back downstairs and found a group of armed guards in the foyer near the front door. You didn’t have the time to explain it all to them, especially since you were driven by a gut feeling. Instead you asked, “Do you guys have a way of tracking my phone, or my car?”
One of them nodded. The rest frowned in confusion.
You tried to keep your calm as much as you could even though your heart was racing. “Okay, I’m gonna go to my father’s house. Don’t follow me yet, but I need some of you to come find me as soon as I begin driving away from there.”
Surprisingly, they just nodded and let you go.
The whole time you drove to your father’s house, it felt you were constantly having to force yourself to keep calm. After four days of having no idea where he was, and now as all the puzzle pieces fit together, it was hard to remain calm. You just wanted to get to him.
And while you drove, unanswered questions tormented you.
Was he hurt? Where was he being kept? Was he beaten up? Was he even conscious? Would this end badly? How far would your father take this? Would he hurt him?
Before you knew it, you were entering your father’s property. The guards let you in like they always did. You had to take a minute to breathe in your car before stepping out and going inside your old home.
Luckily your father was home.
You walked in and stopped in the middle of the foyer as you saw him making his way down the stairs. He slowed down when he noticed the glare you sent his way. And when he stopped in the middle of the grand staircase, with you still glaring at him, the guards who were scattered around the entrance noticed. You caught the way they silently got closer and closer, slowly reaching for their guns.
Good thing you’d brought your own.
The guards, as well as your father, froze in place the moment you pulled out Bucky’s gun and pointed it at the man responsible for all of this shit. No one made a single sound. No guard moved to even try to disarm you.
You looked at your hand, which was surprisingly steady as it held the gun. And there, on the side of the shiny metal, you spotted Bucky’s initials. Your heart throbbed in a painful way, but you refused to be emotional right now, even though you needed a good cry after having bottled up your feelings for the last few days.
You glared at your father, who was still shocked, and asked in a cold tone you’d never used before, “Where’s my husband?”
Your father frowned. “What do you think you’re doing?”
You repeated, “Where is he?”
Your father scoffed, “You’ll shoot your own father? Is this how I raised you?”
“And you’ll kidnap your own son-in-law? For what? To show that you’re still the shit?” You questioned in a slightly raised voice.
He sighed like he was disappointed, “You don’t know what–,”
You cut him off. “We had a deal, right? That these petty attacks would stop after the wedding? That’s why I got married, isn’t it? Because we’re supposed to keep family safe?”
He was quiet for a moment. Then began talking again, “If I could just get them to–,”
“Enough!” You sounded just as tired of his bullshit as you were. “Whatever plan you have, just stop!” Then it came spilling out of your mouth, “You were supposed to protect me. All of us,” You said, referring to your older siblings, “Instead you married each of us off in exchange for whatever or whoever was going to benefit you more.”
He argued, “If this works, you can come back home. Don’t you want that?”
“No,” You said, and realised you meant it. “This was never home.” You admitted. “He treats me better than my own family ever did. He doesn’t tell me that my art is a waste of time. He doesn’t keep me imprisoned inside his home. He doesn’t choose who I should mingle with and who I shouldn’t. He doesn’t force me to join family businesses because it’ll be good for his image.” You taunted your father. “And he’ll never sell me to the highest bidder.”
Your father made a sound like he was disgusted. “Don’t tell me you’ve fallen in love with him?”
You remained quiet. I care for him, you wanted to say, deeply. But that would be lying, wouldn’t it? Truth was… you did fall for him. His calm voice. His gentle but playful demeanour. His dark humour. His brilliant mind and sharp tongue, always ready to argue and debate. His gentle touch… you loved him.
“What I do and who I care for is none of your concern anymore.” You concluded, stepping forward and keeping the gun aimed at his face. “Now, where is my husband?”
The smirk on your father’s face was maddening. “You’ll never find him,” He said. “I’ve hidden him well.” He added.
You gave him a smirk as well. One which mirrored his.
“Oh don’t make me do this.” You cooed. “Did you forget all those times you got drunk and confessed all the bad things you did?” You began listing, “All those times you spilled all your little secrets. About our family businesses, about your allies, the lies and betrayal. The bodies that are buried on this very property. The skeletons in your closet.” You gave him a sick, sweet smile. “Imagine if all that information just magically ends up in the ears of your rivals, dad. Imagine the carnage.”
His smirk disappeared. “You would betray me by siding with them?” He asked in disbelief.
You were getting tired of this. So you lowered your gun and said, “I am one of them.”
You walked out without a single glance back at your father, but you could tell he had his jaws clenched in anger. He hated being outsmarted. But his mistake was underestimating you.
And as for Bucky’s location, well your father gave it away when he said ‘I’ve hidden him well.’
There was only one place he believed you knew nothing about since at the time that he told you about it, he was drunk out of his mind as he confessed more of his crimes: the rundown warehouse which he used as a hideout/storage for weapons and arms.
Your father had always referred to Bucky being a ‘weapon’ so it was only fitting that he would think to hide him there. Thinking no one would find him.
But you would.
As you drove to the warehouse, you hoped that the guards were tracking you as you had instructed them to. Because if Bucky was truly there, there was a high chance that there would be some guards, and that Bucky must be injured. And you’d need help getting him out of there.
Driving to the warehouse, you had silent tears streaming down your face. Not just out of sadness, but also frustration. Fuck, what had your life become?
The warehouse was a disaster, you realised as you approached it. Large, crumbling, windows boarded up with rotting wood, broken machinery scattered around the outside. It looked like it had been abandoned for decades. And it was exactly the type of structure no one would bother to look twice at. The perfect place to hide illegal things, and son-in-laws you hate.
There weren’t as many guards as you expected. Which would mean that Bucky was either chained and locked up like an animal, or that he was injured to the point where he was too weak to fight his way out of here.
Or both.
You shivered as you got out of your car. The few guards who were around noticed you and one of them began walking faster towards you the more you got closer to the entrance.
“Miss, you can’t be here. Your father explicitly said no one is allowed–,”
You scoffed and said, “Oh, I know what he said.” You kept walking. “What will you do? Shoot me?”
“Miss,” He tried again, “I can’t let you–,”
You turned towards him and placed the barrel of Bucky’s gun right under the guard’s chin. “You were saying?”
Then you heard it. A fleet of cars approaching. The guards heard it too. You heard them yelling at one another while the one in front of you remained frozen in place. You smirked at him and said, “Now go play with them.”
You had just enough time to duck and run inside before the gunshots began. You didn’t stop. The interior of the warehouse was just as dilapidated as the outside, and by the sound of it, there were quite some guards on the roof. Their heavy footsteps as they ran to duck and try to escape the bullets raining down on them echoed inside the empty warehouse.
It was fairly easy to spot Bucky. But fuck was it painful to see him that way.
He was chained to the wall, shackles around his wrists and ankles. His body slumped on the ground, his breaths ragged. You could tell he was tired. Perhaps tired of fighting against the chains. You couldn’t hold back your soft sob as you ran to him.
They had left his muzzle-like mask on him, covering the lower half of his face. The leather jacket and gloves he wore were covered in blood and dirt. A lot of blood. You knelt down in front of him and that’s when you noticed the bullet wound on his thigh. It looked fresh.
“Bucky?” You called, reaching a hand to touch his face. He was cold to the touch, but stirred at the sound of your voice. “Bucky, come on. Wake up. Please.” You sniffled and inched closer to him, “I’m here, I’m gonna get us out of here, okay?”
He let out a weak cough. You could barely hear it over the sound of the gunshots outside.
“Bucky,” You tried to get the chains and shackles off of him, “Come on, wake up. We need to go home.” Your own voice cracked as you felt the silent tears streaming down your face as you were unable to get the shackles off. “Please,” You begged.
Then as the gunshots outside faded away, you heard Bucky’s faint voice saying, “Use the gun.”
You turned to face him. “What?”
He spoke again, his voice raspier than usual and sounding muffled due to the mask. “Shoot at the chains.”
Your hands trembled just a little as you reached for the gun you had brought. His gun. And you said, “Okay, don’t move.���
You did. And only missed twice.
Breaking the chains left the shackles still around his wrists and ankles but that could be dealt with later. You were panicking, wondering how you’d get him out of here but the guards barged in just in time. And you let out a sigh of relief when they ran straight to Bucky and carefully picked him up.
As a couple of them managed to get Bucky in the backseat of your car, one of them let you know that there was a doctor and his assistants already waiting at home to tend to Bucky. Another one asked you what to do regarding the warehouse.
“Burn it.” You told him. “I’ll deal with my father later, right now we need to get Bucky home.”
On the drive home, Bucky kept trying to talk. But he was so weak he could barely get full sentences out.
“Weren’t you mad at me?” He asked.
You sniffled and said refused to answer that. Instead you said, “Try not to talk. You’ve been shot, we don’t know how much blood you’ve lost,” You rambled. “Let’s get you to the doctor, okay?”
“S’okay,” He mumbled, “It went through.”
That only hurt more. “Bucky please, you need to save energy, okay? We’re almost home.”
“They… shot me with my own gun.” He refused to keep quiet.
At first you thought his brain was being delirious and making him ramble. Because of the pain, exhaustion, thirst, hunger. But then a weak sound left his mouth. Still muffled by the mask because no one removed it, and it sounded a lot like a very weak, faint laugh.
“Eros got pierced by his own arrow after all.” He mumbled.
You held back a sob. Then muttered, “I hate you so much, Bucky Barnes.”
Another weak laugh. “No, you don’t, wife.”
Then he passed out cold.
—
The next few days which followed Bucky’s rescue went by so fast and so painfully. The medical team kept close watch on him for days. Bucky was in and out of consciousness a lot. All the meds and the exhaustion kept him constantly out cold.
The nurses and the house staff were constantly around him. But for some reason, you couldn’t bring yourself to go into his room. Not yet. You’d linger near the door and the doctors and the staff would constantly update you about his condition, but you never went in.
Mainly it was because of shame. At what your father had done to him. But also you were still making peace with and processing your own emotions and you couldn’t face him until you were fully ready. What was important was that he was rescued and safe in his home.
About a week later, the medical team finally left. And promised they would do frequent check ups and told you that Bucky needed a lot of rest.
And that night, you managed to find the courage to finally step inside Bucky’s bedroom. It was a lot like yours, just larger. The room was dark when you walked in. But the open curtains allowed some light in from the outside.
Okay. You spoke to yourself as you approached Bucky’s bed. It’s high time you find out who you married.
Your hands shook a little as you reached for the dim lamp on his bedside table. But you turned it on quickly before you could talk yourself out of it.
The golden light illuminated the room partly, and there he was. A little bruised, with a cut on his lip. His handsome face made you smile and tear up at the same time. You couldn’t hold back from reaching to touch his face softly, carefully. You ran your knuckles along his cheek and whispered, “There you are, ghost.”
He stirred. And soon, a pair of sparkling blue eyes look up at you. For a moment you panicked, wondering if he would be upset. But instead he said, “This is cheating.”
You let out a soft laugh and asked, “How are you feeling? You’ve been asleep for days.”
“I feel like beating your father up.” He mumbled.
“Oh, same.” You agreed. Then added, “I’m so sorry for what he did to you.”
Over the past few days, the guards had gathered what had truly happened the day Bucky went missing. Turns out, he did leave for an assignment but your father and his men had been keeping a close eye on him for days, and since the wedding was supposed to have ended all rivalry, Bucky had his guard down as he entered your father’s territory. And your father had the upper hand for once and took advantage of it. Bucky was cornered, outnumbered and taken. He was kept in that warehouse up until you found him.
“Don’t be,” Bucky whispered, reaching for your hand on your lap. He gave your hand a soft squeeze and said, “You saved me.”
You couldn’t look away from Bucky. It felt so intimate to finally be able to see his face. Then rather sheepishly, you asked, “Can I sleep here? I’ll be careful.” He was still injured and in pain, but you just wanted to be close to him. You needed to.
He smirked, “Come on.” You walked to the other side of the bed and slid under the covers, keeping some distance between you and him. He turned to look at you and said, “Want me to leave the light on?”
You nodded. And he did.
—
A lot changed after that.
Bucky was healing from his injury and was starting to walk again. Which meant that he was home a lot. He did ‘work’ but it mainly consisted of him ordering people around on the phone.
Him being at home meant that he followed you around as much as he physically could. He would spend time in your studio, sometimes he’d stay for hours and watch you finish your pieces. He also spent a lot more time with your dog, taking her on short walks and teaching her new tricks.
He’d stay with you in the kitchen while you baked. He’d go with you whenever you went shopping for supplies. Bucky became your shadow. And consequently, spending this much together made you feel closer than ever to him.
He became your best friend.
He also became a lot more… bold.
—
One night Bucky found you in his bathroom. After that night when you first slept in his bed, you hadn’t gone back to your bedroom. So now, most of your things slowly found their way into his space. Like your night time skin care products.
Bucky crept up behind you and wrapped his arms around you.
You met his eyes through the mirror and gave him a smile. “Your limp is nearly gone.” You announced, noticing the way he walked was so much better now.
He gave you a look which meant nothing but mischief, “And you know what that means?”
You could already tell where this was going. You immediately turned him down. “Bucky, we cannot. You’re still injured.”
“But it’s been weeks.” He said it like it was the ultimate torture. “Don’t you miss those nights we spent together? Hmm?” He whispered, leaning in to kiss your neck. He knew it was one of your weaknesses. “Remember how good it feels when I make you come?”
You sighed, letting him kiss you and hold you for a moment. “Buck… you’re still healing.”
“Come on, baby,” He cooed, nuzzling your neck, “I’ll make it so good. I promise I’ll tell you if it hurts.”
You almost gave in the moment he playfully bit your neck, his hands finding the belt of your robe and shamelessly undoing it before sliding in to touch your warm skin. “But,” You tried to find something even though all you wanted was to drag him to bed, “Your stitches…” Your words ended in a soft moan as his metal fingers found their way in between your legs, circling around your clit.
Bucky growled. Growled. Then said, “Fine, you get to be on top then.”
You froze, and let out a nervous chuckle. “But I…,” You opened your eyes and met his through the mirror. “I–,”
“Shh, it’s okay.” He reassured you, remembering the time you told him you’d never done anything with anyone before. “I know.” He gave you a sweet kiss on the cheek. “I’ll teach you.”
And he did. Patiently.
He took his time in undressing both of you and held your hand in his as he laid down and pulled you on top of him.
“I’m scared I’ll hurt you.” You murmured.
He gave you a reassuring smile. “You won’t, baby. Now come on.”
He watched as you carefully straddled him, settling comfortably around his waist. One hand holding his metal one tightly while the other remained splayed over his chest.
Bucky looked up at you with nothing but adoration and lust as he tugged on your hand, pulling you in for a kiss. You leaned down gently and pressed your mouth to his. His warm hand immediately rubbed up and down your side lovingly. He pulled away just a little and whispered against your mouth, “We’ll do whatever you’re comfortable with, okay?”
You nodded, already breathless.
“Tell me, baby. What do you want?”
You told him the one thing you desperately wanted. “I want to touch you.”
Bucky smirked and supported his upper body up on his elbows, with you still straddling his waist, your core pressing down on his crotch. “Go on then, touch me.” He murmured.
He watched you intently as you reached out and touched his face first. Bucky’s heart was racing, you could tell by the way he breathed, as your finger slowly trailed down his face, along his neck and down till his abs, so slowly that you could feel his muscles tensing underneath your touch.
You gave him a teasing smile when you noticed the effect you have on him, and how he couldn’t help but stare at your naked body.
“Don’t tease me,” He mumbled.
You chuckled and leaned in to give him a brief kiss before hesitantly wrapping your hand around his cock. Part of the reason why you kissed him while doing it was because you were worried about your lack of experience, so you did it to distract him.
But he caught it. And wrapped his own hand around yours, making you grip him tighter. You pulled away from the kiss and looked into his pretty eyes. Bucky was breathing heavily. You let his hand guide you as you gave him an experimental stroke, a gentle up and down movement.
He felt thick and hard, and big. You looked down for a quick minute as you let him continue guiding your hand, lazily stroking his cock, up and down. Your thumb rubbed his tip slowly, making him groan as you looked back up at him and kissed your way down his neck, around the base of his throat, making him gasp in pleasure.
“See?” He whispered, “You’re learning already.” He said as he slowly let go of your hand and let you touch him on your own.
You continued exploring this new feeling. He was completely fine with just being there and letting you take your time. And you did take your time, touching him everywhere you could, stroking him as slowly or as quickly as you wanted to. Until he was so close to the edge, eyes rolled to the back of his head, lips parted and occasional moans escaping his open mouth as pre cum started dripping down his cock.
Oh he was a sight to behold. But you were getting impatient, and you wanted him in you as soon as possible. So you stopped, earning a groan from him.
“I want you,” You said.
Bucky looked like he was barely able to hold back either. “Come on,” He held your hand again, pulled you in for a quick kiss as you straddled him properly. His hand reached down and aligned the tip of his cock to your hole, teasing you with it by sliding it up and down your slit a few times until you were whimpering. “Now sit on it baby come on,” He encouraged you as you began sinking down on him, gasping as his cock stretched you out. “You can do it.” He murmured, breathless as he watched his cock disappear inside you more and more. “That's it. All the way down, come on baby.”
You were a moaning mess by the time you sunk all the way down, impaling yourself down on his cock. Fuck. You had never felt so full before. So fucking full.
“You okay, baby?” He asked, holding you by your hips, moving you back and forth just a little bit to create some friction.
You nodded, moaning at the slight movement.
“Want me to help you move?” He asked, lips parted and he had that wild look in his eyes.
Fuck, he was beautiful.
“Yes, please,” You whined, placing your hands on his chest to brace yourself for what was coming.
He wasted no time. Bucky grabbed you by the hips and helped you move up and down his cock. Your wet warmth wrapped all around him, making him swear under his breath and groan at how good you felt.
You couldn’t look away from his ocean blue eyes while you rocked your hips against his. You moved against him perfectly, your walls gripping him tightly and feeling him twitch inside you.
“Look at you.” He cooed. “Look how well you're taking it.”
You couldn’t help but lean in to kiss his open mouth. He was so perfect. He was everything you had ever dreamt of, you realised.
His metal fingers moved to touch your clit while you rode his cock, teasing you and bringing you closer to that edge. It wouldn’t take much. You were so overwhelmed already.
“Bucky…” You whined, dragging your hands down and pressing both your palms against his toned abdomen, carefully avoiding touching him around his thigh area, where he was shot.
Bucky watched you, your breasts bouncing gently, lips parted, softly gasping as you got so, so close to the edge.
And he knew. So he quickened his pace, still moving you up and down his cock while he rubbed your throbbing clit.
“Baby, I’m gonna need you to come for me, okay?” His voice was low, barely even a whisper. His desperation was quite clear. He began to thrust his hips up even harder, matching your movements.
The air around you got hotter, and that look in his eyes made you want to live in this moment forever. Bucky was the most beautiful mess you’d ever seen. A sweaty, moaning mess under you, messy hair, swollen lips, and a throbbing cock.
You were sure you looked like a mess too as you felt your walls clench around him, gripping him and milking him perfectly.
“Come for me,” He whispered, “Come on, baby.”
You came without a warning, crying out loud and impaling yourself down on him one last time as you did. Bucky thrust up into you one last time and came undone as well, both of you breathing hard and fast.
You carefully got up from his lap and laid down beside him, body limp and slightly sore in between your legs.
You were still catching your breath as you asked, “Did I hurt you?” You sounded just as worried as you were.
Bucky chuckled. “I should be the one asking you that.”
You smiled and snuggled into his side, he wrapped an arm around you and pulled you closer.
“I’m fine, baby.” He said and kissed your forehead.
You both laid there in silence for a while.
Cuddling and relishing each other’s warmth, caressing each other’s skin.
You felt his fingers drawing random shapes on your back as you laid your head on his chest, feeling his steady heartbeats against your cheek. You felt the need to ask him, “Why were you so against showing yourself to me?”
He gave you a soft chuckle. “You just can’t let that go, huh?”
“Nope.”
He sighed, pulling you closer. “I was… afraid.”
You frowned. “Afraid of what?” You pulled away and looked up at him. “Why did you hide this pretty face from me?” You gave him a quick kiss on his chest as you waited for his answer.
He sighed again. “Everywhere I go, I… whenever people see me up close, it’s already too late. They don’t see a human anymore, they see death staring back at them.” He paused. You remained quiet. He continued. “I see it, you know? In their eyes. When they look at me and plead, or beg, or curse me.” A humourless laugh, then, “After some years of that, I began seeing it in the mirror as well. I saw the same thing they see. After years of brutality, and killing, and spilling blood,” A soft chuckle, “Years of being an evil Eros as you call it, I grew to hate my face.”
You felt tears forming at your waterline but you couldn’t look away from him. Not when he was being so brave and vulnerable.
He continued. “And then before our wedding, I looked you up.” He confessed, a little embarrassed. “And you were so beautiful.” He looked you right in the eyes and repeated, “You are so beautiful. I guess, I didn’t want you to look at me and see death, and ugly and all the other dark stuff. I didn’t want to see that look in your eyes, the same one I see in everyone. That look of fear and disgust.” He finally admitted, “So I thought, I’d just hide and be a ghost.”
“My ghost.” You corrected him, reaching out to cup his chin in your palm. “And I’m gonna need you to never stop haunting me.” You said, leaning in to leave a soft kiss on his lips. “I want you to always be in the shadows. Be with me, even in the dark.” You gave him a smile. “I look at you now and you know what I see? I see a man who treated me with respect. A man who wouldn’t touch me unless I asked for it. A man who gave me so much space for my creativity.” A faint smile, then you added, “You made me fall in love with art all over again, and now everything I paint, I paint with you in my mind.”
He gave you a smile which both broke and mended your heart.
“Oh Buck,” You cupped his gorgeous face with both hands and said, “You’re not death, or scary, or any other dark shit. You’re mine, and I love you.”
He pulled you in for a kiss so quickly you barely processed it. “And I love you.”
You giggled into the kiss and only pulled away when you were breathless. You kissed your way down his chin and nuzzled his neck, sighing in delight.
Bucky said, “I think I should retire.”
“Hmm,” You asked, “And what would you do in retirement?”
“Watch you paint, raise our dog, adopt some more animals, attend your art exhibitions, and eventually make some babies with you.” He listed it all so easily.
“Sounds like a plan.” You agreed.
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Whoever decided McDonald's hashbrowns are worth two whole American dollars needs to be taken out back and shot
#not to mention i cant get one anyways because they stop serving breakfast at TEN THIRTY#ITS STILL THE MORNING YOU FUCKS.
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Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt.2
[Pt.1] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.7] [Pt.8] [Pt.9] [Pt.10]
Danny dragged up another plastic wrapped body from the bay.
“It’s you. What are you doing?”
“Oh, holy smokes!” Danny screeched. “What-! Oh, it’s you! The litterer!”
Batman stood in front of Danny, cape draped around his shoulders and a far better sight to see than the last time Danny had seen the guy.
“… I’m Batman.” He introduced himself to Danny awkwardly.
“Uh huh. You missed a couple of things cleaning up the beach last time.” Danny dropped the body on the pebbled shore of the bay and crossed his arms. He sent Batman an unimpressed look. “You’re just like your city. There’s trash all over the water!”
Batman glanced down.
“That is a body.”
Danny scowled.
“No, that’s plastic. Plastic does not belong in the ocean.”
Batman sighed. For some reason, Danny thought he seemed less… antagonistic. Wait, did he think Danny killed the guy?!
“That is a body wrapped in plastic.”
Fuck it.
“If it was a body, then bury it. Or decompose it before you people decide to dump it into the water. Even the sharks have the decency to decompose when they’re dead. Do you know how long plastic takes to deteriorate??”
Batman glanced to the side, where the line of plastic wrapped masses had caught his eye to begin with.
“I do. Did all of these come from the bay?”
“Quite obviously, yes. I don’t have enough time to clean the waters! Ancients, it’s like they’re multiplying!” Danny knew why they were multiplying. It’s because Gothamites were getting murdered and dumped weekly. The problem is that Danny has classes and assignments to complete and he couldn’t be out here every week.
“I’ll handle it.”
“Oh, will you? And how do you plan on doing that when you couldn’t even properly clean the beach of your plane? I even stacked it up nicely for you to pick up!”
Alright, so maybe Danny had a couple of grudges. Like… a solid one that’s based on the hours of sleep he missed cleaning up after Batman and the wreck.
“We didn’t get everything?”
“No.” Danny huffed. “Whatever. Just figure out what to do with these bodies. I was not looking forward to digging graves for all of them.”
“You were going to dig graves for them?” Batman sounded off.
Danny scowled again. “I’m dead, genius.” And now Batman looked like someone ran over his dog. “Respecting the dead is important and graves are important for the dead. How else would we know we’re remembered?”
Danny threw up his hands. “Humans,” he muttered, like he wasn’t half human himself.
“Anyways, I’m leaving. Handle this properly or else I’m haunting you.”
“Wait-!” Batman said, but Danny had already disappeared.
So, while Batman had an angst crises at two thirty in the morning and thirty new unidentified corpses to contend with, Danny Fenton flew back to his apartment and passed out on his shitty couch.
——
“You need to stop.”
“Pay me to stop, then. What are your villains going to do? Kill me? I’d like to see them try.”
Danny looked Batman right in his lenses and plopped another body down at the man’s feet.
“I can tell you who they are for a fee.” Danny offered the vigilante. “Some of these still have shades of their souls attached still.”
“What.”
Danny tilted his head, moon once more lighting a halo of flickering white flames around his head. “$100 per identity.”
Batman stared.
#sea cryptid Danny phantom#sea spirit au#dcxdp#danny phantom#bruce wayne#batman#bamf danny phantom#Danny the tired college student#Danny is broke#Batman is not#Danny: business opportunity???#sea cryptic! danny au
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diva
in which flirty!reader shows up to work in a bad mood and it’s spencer’s job to deal with her attitude. not that he minds. (bandages universe)
fluff warnings/tags: fem!reader, mentions of reader coming to work from a casual hookup, flirting, lots of teasing, the BAU being silly geese bc this is before all the trauma, insecurities about reader's job performance, spencer wants to be a cyborg, borderline cuddling hehehe a/n: nanana diva is a female version of a hustler (bandages!reader theme song) no but really i just missed them so much lowkey always accepting requests for these two!! I hope you guys likeeee bc i loveee them and also this was based on a request so i hope u see this LOL
As soon as Hotch calls wheels up in thirty you’re slumping forward, resting your head on folded arms. The to-go cup on the round table in front of you has long been emptied but you look at it longingly anyway.
Morgan chuckles, slapping his folder down on the table next to you. “Aw, look at that. Bright eyed and bushy tailed.”
“It’s Sunday,” you groan. “It’s seven in the morning. Excuse me for not being ready to carpe the diem.”
“It’s just carpe diem,” Spencer interjects, standing and slipping his file into his bag. You sit up and give him the most indignant look you can manage, though it’s hard when you’re this tired and he’s that cute. Slacks. Sweater vest. Button down, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. An enviable waist.
“Whose side are you on?”
He frowns, brushing a tuft of shining-clean brown hair out of his eyes.
“If I was on anyone’s side other than my own it would cease to be their side. We’re all always on our own sides.”
“No, you’re on my side. Defend me.”
His brows only dart up and he looks back down to his bag. It’s a look you know well. Don’t get me involved.
Morgan spins in his chair to face you, one elbow resting on the table.
“I’m just saying, if this is your Sunday morning, I’d love to see your Saturday night, little miss forty five minutes late.”
“You heard Hotch say he called me half an hour earlier than everyone else. It was technically fifteen,” you frown. “And I… was at church.”
Rossi gestures at you with his coffee cup. “You step foot in a church, your shoes are going to start smoking.”
Your jaw drops.
“Wow. I thought old people were supposed to be sweet. Come on, Spencer.”
Spencer knows better than to put up a fight as you get up and grab him by the hand not holding onto your cup and folder, dragging him to the bullpen to sit at your desk until the team is ready to go.
He stands in front of you, hands in pockets, as you plop into your own chair. “I… can’t tell if you’re actually mad.”
“I am. At you. For not being on my side.”
Spencer sets his bag down and leans against the adjacent desk, arms folded. You stopped caring a long time ago if he’d notice you ogling the long, lithe lines of him. Maybe you never really cared, if you’re being honest with yourself. He’s a little harder to scandalize these days, anyway. But you’ll never stop trying.
He bites his lip thoughtfully.
“If you’re mad at me, why am I the one you dragged down here?”
“I’m not taking questions, Reid.”
He hisses. “Ouch. Reid.”
“Mhm. That’s how mad I am.”
“Okay, grouchy. Do you want a refill?”
You borderline pout, continuously perplexed by his kindness in the face of your insolence, but holding out your hollow cup for him anyway as you slouch lower in your seat.
“Don’t call me grouchy.”
“Then don’t call me Reid,” he says, taking your cup as he passes, and you think you sense the faintest wash of amusement coloring his tone.
The jet doesn’t do much to put pep in your step.
“Aberdeen,” Morgan muses, letting his file closed on his lap. “Isn’t that where, uh, Kurt Cobain grew up?”
Spencer sits down in the chair next to you, setting the day’s third cup of coffee in front of you on the small table. “It is. It’s also where Washington’s first suspected serial killer William Gohl resided.”
“First of many,” Rossi amends. Reid nods.
“In the US, Washington State comes in fifth place in terms of serial killers per capita. Some blame a widespread vitamin D deficiency. Just under eight hours of sunlight in the winter, the least in the contiguous United States.”
Emily gives an abhorrent rendition of a famous Nirvana riff, imitating a twangy electric guitar, before gesturing to your boss. “Hotch, you’re from Seattle. Did you ever get into Nirvana? The whole grunge scene?”
Hotch lowers his folder, giving her an unimpressed look. “Did you?”
While the exchange is amusing, the coffee is not perking you up and you’d like to be slightly less upright, if possible. You bump Spencer’s knee with your own, and he looks over at you obediently.
“What’s up?”
“I wanna move to the couch.”
He nods and gets right back up. When you pass, and he doesn’t immediately follow, you turn around. Maybe the lack of sleep has rendered you unable to hide your look of contempt as he tries to sit back down.
“What are you doing?”
Morgan snorts. “Uh oh. Lapdog almost forgot his training.”
“I am not a lapdog,” Spencer defends, giving Morgan a harsh look of his own, before following you, much to the amusement of the rest of the BAU.
“Don’t listen to them,” you mutter as you step aside to let him pass.
He settles into the corner of the couch. “I almost never do.” When you cozy up next to him, he seems surprised. “Um, hi?”
“I’m cold. You’re warm.”
“This is… unprofessional.”
You roll your eyes even though he can’t see. “Oh my god. They don’t care.”
That’s enough to shut him up. Eventually he relaxes, and though he doesn’t put his arm around you (they remain crossed in front of him) he doesn’t seem too distraught over the way you’re leaning against him, head on his shoulder. The sky is a soft grey where you can see it through the little rectangles lining the far wall, like a pale tea with plenty of milk.
“What’s up with you, anyway?” He asks eventually, gingerly, and though he’s bold to ask it you know the last thing he means to do is offend. Luckily for him, he’s your soft spot. You let your eyes flutter shut against the boxes of diffuse light.
“Tired.”
“I know that. You’ve had three cups of coffee and you’re still about to fall asleep.”
“Well… that’s all it was.”
“Mhm.”
“God, you’re—” you lift your head, about to give him a good old fashioned verbal lashing, but he’s so sweet looking, and he’s so kind to you even when he’s not, that you deflate—all your air coming out on a sigh as you settle back against him. “I… was… not home, when Hotch called me.”
“Yeah, you said you were at church?” He sounds utterly bewildered. Your heart melts, and you can’t hide the fondness seeping from every pore as you look up at him through your lashes. He really is so beautiful.
“That was a joke, Spence. I was with a friend.”
His brows knit and a faint blush tinges his cheeks.
“Oh. I knew that.”
And he really is getting better at detecting your brand of sarcasm. One day you doubt you’ll be able to pull any over on him, and he’ll stop being so adorable and bashful and embarrassed and sweet all the time. You don't relish the thought.
“What were you doing this morning?” You ask, in a bid to quell the very embarrassment you covet, because you’re not actually a demon, despite what Rossi had implied earlier.
“Sleeping.”
You hum. Imagine taking his hand. Don’t really take it.
“Me ’nd you should hang out outside of work more often.”
“Like… in the mornings?”
“Uh, probably not,” you laugh, your own face heating at the implication he’s only sort of and undoubtedly accidentally making. “I mean—we could. We could have breakfast sometimes.”
“I like breakfast,” he muses. “I know a couple of good spots. I can show you when we get back. There are these ube pancakes that are like bright purple on the inside. Have you had ube? I think you’d like them. The pancakes and the tuber. They’re the same color as your laptop case.”
You giggle, too tired for anything more dignified and too charmed for anything less authentic. Spencer has a moment of apparent self-awareness and after a second chuckles along with you, and like 99% of your moments with him, it’s a nice one.
It slowly fades, and you sigh.
“We’d probably get called in right in the middle of breakfast.”
“It’s always a possibility,” Spencer agrees, and you feel him nod. He smells really nice—clean and sort of cedar-y. Warm.
“You ever think about how we’re just… robot arms to do the bidding of the federal government? We’re not even people. We’re cyborgs.”
“I’d love to be a cyborg.”
“But then you wouldn’t be so warm and comfy.”
“If I were a cyborg I could install a heating element. I’d still be warm. I don’t know about comfy. Maybe if I kept the biomechatronics to one side of my torso.”
“You’d install a heating element just for me? So we could keep cuddling?”
He clears his throat. You smile to yourself.
“Why are we cyborgs, exactly?”
“Because we don’t get personal lives. The job comes first. I could be doing anything. I could be in the middle of eating bright purple pancakes with my good friend and colleague Spencer Reid and it doesn’t matter. If we get called in we have to leave.”
“If we were in the middle of breakfast, we could just… take our food to go and finish it at our desks.”
“Well—I guess it would be different if it was us, but with my other friends… it’s kind of a bummer, sometimes.”
You’re thinking about the friend you left this morning. Nobody you’re particularly invested in, but you wonder if that friend is still asleep in bed—and you realize you don’t much care. You’re glad to be here, and not there.
“I think if the job didn’t feel worth it to you, you would’ve left by now. But you haven’t. You can complain all you want, but you show up every day.”
You scoff.
“Fifteen to 45 minutes late, depending on how you look at it.”
“That is… atypical. You’re usually on time.”
“Usually…” you repeat darkly. A moment passes. An uncomfortable insecurity begins to bloom and ache like a rotting tooth. “Can I ask you a serious question?”
Spencer doesn’t hesitate. “Of course.”
“Do you think…” you falter, unused to this kind of vulnerability. A cloud swallows the jet and the cabin darkens into a place for secrets. “Do you think I’m worth the trouble?”
You know Spencer senses the unease like a sheepdog can sense a storm from the way he perks up next to you. He’s always been like that—incredibly attuned to the moods of others. You hope he doesn’t think profiling is just another of many learned skills. It’s a genuine talent, a sort of savantism in its own right. You can’t imagine him doing anything else as passionately as he does his job. Sometimes it almost makes you insecure.
“What trouble?”
“Like… Hotch having to call me half an hour earlier than he calls the rest of the team. Or you, accepting my constant teasing. I know I’m—I can be kind of a diva. I don’t always really feel as professional as you guys. Or… qualified, maybe.”
You can imagine the way he’d narrow his eyes as he thinks this over, though you’d still like to see it for yourself—but you keep your head on his shoulder. In a way, he’s already getting a closer look at you than you usually grant to anyone.
“I think… you’re good at your job. And you care more than you’d like to admit. That thing you do—where you sometimes show up a few minutes late, or you piss Rossi off on purpose, or you flirt with Hotch—I think… we all have things like that. We all self-sabotage, because it’s a really hard job, and I think we all wonder if we’re really qualified for it, or deserve to be in these positions, or if we even want the responsibility of trying to save people’s lives. But you’re a genuinely good person and a gifted profiler. And everyone else knows it, too.”
The deep thrum of the jet’s engine blurs the rest of the team’s incomprehensible chatting and the pounding of your heart into one big muddied streak of paint. Hopefully Spencer can’t feel the heat of your cheek through his shirtsleeve.
“Oh,” you murmur.
A moment passes.
It’s a relief when Spencer’s anxiety comes bubbling up before your own can. “Sorry, was that too much?”
“No,” you hurry, “no, it was—no. That was really really nice of you to say. Thank you, Spencer.”
He relaxes. “Well… it’s all true.”
How could anyone ever deserve him? How does anyone get lucky enough to know a man like Spencer Reid?
When you burst through the other side of the cloud, the sun has come out. It burns away the milky early morning fog and makes your eyes ache just enough to finally wake you up. You blink and stretch against him like a cat.
“Spence?”
“Hm?”
“I just want to clarify… I don’t flirt with Hotch. I flirt with you.”
#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfic
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Cowboy Killers
Pairing: Cowboy!Joel x Reader
Summary: On a mission to find—and fight—your best friend’s lying, cheating boyfriend at the bar, you end up throwing your drink in the wrong face and landing in a sticky situation with Joel Miller, who never plays fair.
Warnings: 18+. Drunk-Assholes-to-Enemies-to-Lovers. Oral (m!receiving). Road head. Age gap. Daddy kink.
Note: My favorite sub-genre of country music is ‘I’m Gonna Fucking Kill My Husband,’ and I think Miranda Lambert’s ‘Gunpowder & Lead’ is a perfect representation of that.
Word count: 4.1k
Forgive and forget.
Forgive and forget.
Forgive and—
“I’m about to lay this motherfucker out,” you announced.
Across the line, your friend laughed.
“Yeah? You see him?”
Of course you saw him. Who else would be wearing a Carhartt flannel and jeans in ninety-four degree heat? Not a soul in this world but your friend’s own lying, piece of shit, hopefully-soon-to-be-ex boyfriend, you guessed.
The game that Old Fuckstick Miller had decided to play tonight was a dangerous one—he was dumb as shit, and you were drunker than a skunk. He was dating your best friend, and she was not present at the Tipsy Bison to see the barefaced clusterfuck taking place before you now.
She was home, over thirty minutes away. He had told her that morning he would be working late, and not to wait up. You were here, at the bar, approaching one A.M. with a Redbull Vodka clenched in either fist and a Texas-sized frown on your face, seeing the very same man with his hands all over a woman that wasn’t your friend. You’d wanted to puke as soon as you saw them. You knew you could never trust a man who claimed to be an Austin native and couldn’t name a single George Strait song.
Your friend had only been dating the guy for a month, and you’d just seen his face in pictures up until now, but from what you could see less than twenty feet in front of you—slightly blurred from all the drinks you’d had—this guy was him. A dick. There, cheating on your best friend.
And no man would get to do that and walk out unscathed if you had anything to say about it.
Your grip tightened on either one of your fizzy drinks and, barely managing to cradle the phone between your head and your shoulder, you gestured over to another friend.
“Dave. Take it,” you said, words slurring a little.
Dave York cocked an eyebrow but said nothing as you passed him one of your RBVs and shimmied off the barstool. By the time he was able to pose his question, your ass, your phone, and your one remaining drink were already wobbling the other way. Vaguely, you heard him:
“Where ya headed, hon?”
You turned and raised your drink, then seriously doubted he would be able to hear you over the blare of the music, but yelled back anyway, ‘I’M GONNA KILL SOMEONE!’
The age-old pro-forgiveness aphorism continued to thump in your brain as you made your way over and began to contemplate every feasible method of murder.
A gun in the face would’ve been too simple—and besides, you’d never owned or shot a firearm in your life.
Poison could be fun, but from the way you were approaching the man now, you seriously doubted he’d ever let you get within a mile of his drink. You nudged the phone closer to your ear and took a sip from your own.
“Closing in,” you told your friend simply.
She’d already given you the go-ahead to execute the confrontation and beat his ass any way you pleased after the fact. Now it wasn’t so much a matter of ‘if’ but ‘when’ you’d finally get to encroach on this little loved up scene at the other end of the bar. The man had had his back turned to you, and the stunning redhead hanging off his neck, likewise, had no idea what was coming. You smiled.
“Promise you won’t go to jail this time?” your friend said.
“Will you bail me out again if I do?” Your grin got bigger.
“Well, duh.”
“Good deal. I’ll be the shitfaced inmate with ‘Fuck Men’ tattooed on her forehead. Wait for Travis County to call.”
“I love you, psycho.”
“Love you more.”
You ended the call.
And you were fully ready to end this man’s life when you saw him lean in to kiss the woman’s neck—that was sick.
You weren’t thinking straight. You weren’t seeing straight
You yelled out, ‘He-e-e-ey, honey!’ without blinking.
The couple turned.
As soon as the man had done a full 180, you flung your drink in his face and made sure the cup struck his nose.
“You cheatin’ FUCK!”
He flinched, sprayed by your vodka-infused energy juice.
The music overhead was loud, but not so deafening as to prevent the bar from hearing your shriek. From the front of the room, a band was playing ‘Gunpowder & Lead,’ and you couldn’t help but feel the song had been fate.
“What the f—” the adulterer started, evidently stunned.
You knocked the Shiner Bock out of his hand and spat:
“Working late, are we?!”
And spilled another patron’s beer reeling back.
“Got a little caught up on the way home?”
Gesturing toward the green-eyed beauty to his left. At first, the girl fixed her stare on you as if you’d sprouted another head, but then, by turns, she was tilting it to him.
“You have a girlfriend?” she hissed.
Cheater McFuckstick was wiping his beard with his hand
Shaking his head.
“Hell no, I ain’t never—”
“LIAR!”
Channeling your inner Representative Wilson circa 2009, you let your mouth fall open and stared at the big, burly man like the Congressman had once done to President Obama all those years ago. The semi-stranger in front of you was far less composed than his political counterpart.
“What the fuck is your problem?!” he snapped.
You felt your cheeks heat up.
“Is she your girlfriend?” would-be mistress said, shrill.
“NO!” you and been-knew asshole yelled together.
You saw the man’s nostrils flare, and at the same time, the woman beside him departed. Quickly. A few people around you cleared the way, while others still stared, gawked, and murmured amongst themselves. The Miranda Lambert cover band continued on without a hitch, though you could tell there had been a stir in the crowd. They probably thought the worst of it was over.
They thought wrong.
“You’re a dick,” you seethed, unrelenting.
You almost expected the man to turn and leave.
You thought wrong.
“You’re a cunt.”
And the man chucked a stray whiskey sour in your face.
The $15 spirits splattered on your skin like the meanest insult of all. His aim was better. Though he didn’t let go of the cup, as you had with him, he did make sure to coat the whole of your twisted look with the liquor, and once it landed, he had had the nerve to do something else, too.
He brought the glass to his lips then drank what was left.
“How’s it feel?” he sneered.
You stood in wet, sticky silence for half a second; arguably, you’d earned that cocktail to the face.
On the other hand, who the fuck did he think he was?
You grabbed a random can of Keystone Light and flung it at his chest to give him a hint—and catch him off-guard.
“You’re a bitch, Tommy Miller!”
“Wh—”
“Maria’s my best friend, you absolute f—”
“What—”
“—and you cheated on her for what? All so she—”
“What did you just call me?!”
“A BITCH!”
“No, the NAME!”
“TOMMY MILLER!”
“I’M JOEL!”
Oh.
Oh.
You and Joel were shortly escorted out of the bar.
Joel’s name, and a trace of bourbon, were still fresh on your tongue when you found yourself stranded in the middle of the Tipsy Bison parking lot two minutes later. You leaned into a car beside you and held your stomach.
“Someone drop you on the head as a baby?” Joel barked.
Presently, for you, the world was tilting sideways, and your head was throbbing at a nauseating tempo.
“Go around slingin’ drinks at any old man you—”
Green. Green must’ve been the color of your face as you braced your hands on your knees and assumed a stance as if to scream at the ground. Rather than expecting any noise to ring out, though, you had only to squeeze your eyes shut and hold onto a hunch for something much less pleasant. And viscous.
Reeking mostly of Red Bull and regret, if you had to guess.
Joel took a big step back, and then he took another.
“Da-a-adgummit, girl, what the—”
He turned away just in time to miss the sight of you emptying your guts on the ground, but not quite fast enough to be spared the sounds of you retching. They were loud. Joel Miller was known to be a largely imperturbable force around these parts, but even he was made to feel queasy hearing that. Out of habit, he clapped his hand to his own gut and stumbled off. He stared at the bar, then at his car, then at the gravel crushed under his feet for what felt like the longest time. Then his gaze lingered to his lower half, and he thought:
‘Please, please don’t gimme no daughters. Please.’
He was forty-five. The time for making babies and raising daughters to be anything like a woman of your ilk was probably long past him. All the same, he kept his gaze on his crotch and sighed. Balls, you better not betray me.
When he heard the crunch of rocks, he turned around.
“HEY!”
Oh, no. No. Not tonight.
You were staggering to your car, keys in hand.
“Hey!” Joel called again, jogging after you.
It seemed the second shout had done him no more favors than the first. You were fumbling to get the key inside the door, and you looked as determined as ever.
Over your shoulder, you tossed back, careless:
“You ain’t the boss of me, Tommy Miller.”
You got the key to turn. You opened the door. You were just about to climb inside what looked to Joel to be the ugliest Dodge Ram pickup he’d seen in his life, when he grabbed your arm.
“It’s Joel,” he growled. Pinching your elbow tight as he tugged it back, “And you ain’t driving anywhere tonight.”
Somewhere in front of him, tilted away from his line of vision, you must’ve been grinning, because the next thing he heard from you was the scoff of a laugh.
“Oh yeah?”
Joel flipped you around to face him.
“Yeah,” he snapped.
Feeling a bit like a kid for mimicking your tone.
What were you, twenty-two? Twenty-three? You couldn’t have been a patron of a place like Tipsy Bison for very long, or else he would’ve recognized you tonight.
Then again, you struck him as the type to have had a fake ID since you were fifteen, so he really couldn’t know.
“I’m twenny-wuh-un,” you slurred up at him, exaggerated, once he’d made you step down from the running board and onto the ground. Answering his last unspoken question with the same, sleepy grin as before. Then lifting one of your hands to wag a finger in his face, “I can drink legal anywhere I want to in this country.”
“Not there,” Joel nodded to the interstate.
You looked to where he’d gestured and whistled. Standing and staring, like he had done to his crotch.
“Well fuck me-e!” you said next, dragging out the sound a childish amount, “You the law or somethin’, Mr. Joel?”
“Ain’t no cop.” Joel rolled his eyes.
You kept smiling. Then you turned on your heels.
And instead of trying to climb back into your truck, you sauntered off—in what direction, Joel couldn’t tell. You were more so bumbling about, turning in circles like the world’s most scantily-clad, semi-intoxicated ballerina. And then you stopped. You put your hands on your hips.
“‘Cause I’m the law,” you resumed in a slow, deliberate drawl. The twang you used was mostly feigned, “And you cain’t beat the law. Don’t nobody get away with that, not even a bunch’a Alabama smart alecks, believe you me.”
Joel didn’t know what the fuck you were talking about. The man was Texas born and bred, and you knew it.
He communicated as much by pinning you with a wide, bewildered stare, and something in that seemed to amuse. You stared back, making your eyes bug out too.
“It’s a quote from a movie,” you said, after a beat, “You’ve never seen Fried Green Tomatoes before?”
Joel couldn’t say that he had.
Joel reckoned there was a lot more than just movies he didn’t share in common with you. Miss Twenty-One. Barely a year past the age he’d been when he’d moved out of the house and tried to make a living on his own.
This woman, this girl he saw twirling out in front of him now probably couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel if he’d asked you to. Joel shook his head and moved his feet, frown etching deep.
“Alright, princess. Up.”
You didn’t seem to understand, until he’d lifted you. Up.
You were thrown over his shoulder and carried to a truck much nicer than yours in less than fifteen seconds or so.
“Stinks in here,” you said as soon as he’d set you down.
Then, sniffing the air—and grinning:
“Aw, hell, Miller…you smoke?”
Joel wished he’d said no.
Wished he’d rolled his eyes and told you to pipe down, stop asking him questions. It would’ve made the drive a whole lot easier, and more peaceful. Nowhere near as painful, either, if he were being perfectly honest—the strain in his jeans had already gotten to be more than he could bear, and all you’d asked for was a pack of smokes.
“They call ‘em Cowboy Killers,” you said, matter-of-fact.
“I know what they’re called,” Joel grumbled in reply. Flicking the radio on and hoping to find a tune that would drown out the too-lovely, cloying voice you’d assumed as soon as you thought you might win a cigarette off of him. More chatty now than ever.
And for one, blissful moment, Toby Keith had you beat. The calm was fleeting. As soon as ‘Who’s Your Daddy’ started to drift through the car’s old speakers, you reached across and turned the knob to the left.
“Gross,” you muttered.
“What?”
“Got a light?”
“Blow me.”
Joel’s harsh, clipped tone was deliberate. The way he’d made himself mean—meaner than he’d been around a woman in a long, long time—was a choice. He couldn’t let your faux sweetness win him now. Not after you’d thrown two drinks in his face, mocked his truck, and foreclosed any possibility of getting laid by way of all your publicized infidelity philippics and shit-talking. Giving in to your charms from where you sat in the passenger seat now would only sink him further in his own esteem. Simply put, Joel’s ego couldn’t take it.
“Okie doke,” you said presently. Shrugging.
“Now keep your—HEY!”
Joel nearly swerved his truck off the road and into a ditch. Your deft little hands had slipped into his lap—and started palming his crotch through the denim.
He’d just managed to right the vehicle before jerking a look your way, staring at your hand, then your face:
“What the fuck was that?!”
“You said ‘blow me,’ Joel!” you huffed, and you seriously appeared as distraught as he was, “Sorry for listening!”
Joel grit his teeth with all the force of a cold steel trap.
“You’re fuckin’ nuts.” He gripped the wheel even tighter.
“I’m aware.”
“Where the hell do you live, anyway?”
You told him.
Your hand slipped down to the seat beside him.
And just as Joel let out what felt like the tiniest sigh of relief—he knew where that was, and the address sounded vaguely familiar—he yelped again. This time, he managed to keep control of his truck, but it was hard.
Your fingers had returned, and they were kneading the bulge under his jeans. Joel flushed from head to toe.
He didn’t have so much as half a mind to make you stop. He didn’t want to see you slink back over to your side of the car. But you were twenty-one, and he was forty-five. And you were both under the influence to some degree. And he was driving, for fuck’s sake. Shit like that only worked in dreams—not on a highway in a town like this.
He turned the radio dial to 75. At length, he heard it loud:
‘WHO’S YOUR DADDY? WHO’S YOUR BA-A-A-ABY?’
He saw you cringe.
“C’mon, Joel,” you groaned, “That’s…yuck.”
The fingers of the one hand kept digging, rubbing, but the other reached out and turned the music down again.
Joel shifted in his seat, feeling the pleasure start to bloom from the pit of his stomach, but not wanting to let you off that easy. Briefly, he looked from the road to you.
“What? You got a problem with Toby Keith?”
“I got a problem with anyone sayin’ ‘daddy’ like that.”
You unzipped his fly. Popped the button of his jeans from underneath the soft shelf of belly hanging over it, and held him, finally. You could only cup his erection through his boxers at that point, but the friction was enough to send a shiver through the whole of the old man’s body. He hadn’t been touched like that by a hand that wasn’t his own in…he couldn’t remember how long. He sighed.
“That why you’ve got your hand down the pants of a man old enough to be your father?” Joel quipped.
He couldn’t help it.
Your hand only gripped him tighter. From the passenger seat, you’d leaned over and started crawling. Scowling.
Your knees swiftly planted themselves on the old, upholstered cushion of the bucket seat, and you slipped a touch beneath the waistband of his underwear. With a hand that was smooth and soft and eager to please, you wrapped your fingers around that base and leaned in.
“You sound like you want me to say it,” you whispered.
Under your hand, he pulsed. His gaze stayed on the road.
“Don’t make no difference to me, sweet pea,” he said, and was amazed how even he was able to keep his tone:
“But those ‘Cowboy Killers’ you wanted…”
Your fingers curled tighter. Your head sank lower.
“…they don’t come cheap, y’know.”
Oh, you knew. He saw a smile snag at the corners of your lips as you brought them to his lap, and he had to force himself to look at the road again. It was empty and dark.
The tarmac stretched out for days. The fields rolling past warned sternly, ‘Don’t let her win,’ and something more in between each tree seemed to invite deliberation—remembrance, maybe. Joel was far too focused on the feel of your mouth to give the woods a second thought.
You’d worked the first inch between your lips in a slick, obscene sort of kiss; you made room for just the head and then toyed with a bead of precum leaking out of his slit. You licked it, squeezed the shaft in your hand, and hummed while the first real moan rumbled through him.
Joel turned to putty with just that flick of your tongue. He didn’t have to see your face to know he was losing.
On the wheel, his grip grew tighter, and he choked out:
“Ain’t your fuckin’ lollypop, kid.”
Then, dropping one hand to push down on your head—make you take him to the back of your throat in one go.
“Daddy wants you to suck him like a big girl, hear?”
At the base of his cock, he felt you gag. From the bottom of his heart, Joel knew there was no sound sweeter than that. He ran his fingers over your skull and tapped gently.
“If you want those smokes,” he told you—and really, with all the warmth and moisture of your mouth enveloping him now, he’d had to try to sound rougher than he was, “You’re gonna do what daddy says and suck him right.”
You gagged again, then squeezed his denim-clad leg with the hand that wasn’t wrapped around his member.
Joel yanked you by your hair and made you look up.
Your cheeks were already smeared with spit and tears. Much to his surprise, he found your eyes alight and soft.
Suffused with desire, too, from what he could see.
“Yes, daddy.” You grinned up at him.
Joel knew if he let your gaze stay on his a second longer now he’d either crash his car, blow his load, or fall in love—and he simply refused to let you succeed on any of those fronts, so he shoved your face back down.
You sucked him obediently. Greedily. Mouth growing more pliant and wet by the second, as if your jaw and salivary glands had contrived to get him as close to release as possible, as quickly as they were able.
Joel took a left onto a road he had only a dim recognition as being connected to yours, and he got that feeling again. You were bobbing your head, taking him further, flattening your tongue along the bottom of his member when his pleasure swelled inside him. At the same time, he felt a sense of dread. His hands were shaking on the wheel. He didn’t dare steal a look down to the sweet, soaked, perfect little mouth sucking him dry, because he knew that feeling would only strike twice as hard. He had to cum, or make you stop, or bring his truck to a halt.
As it was, he felt five tiny crescents sink into his thigh as you gripped him tighter, and a noise bubbled up in your mouth. Your breathing went shallow, and your lips stretched wide—you were trying, and succeeding, in deep-throating his thick, throbbing, much-too-old-for-a-girl-her-age member down close to your windpipe, and Joel could feel it. He hit his blinker, not thinking, and saw a sign that marked your street. Trepidation hit him again.
Fully, this time, in a feeling that was more like terror.
He didn’t have another second to question it, either. By the time he had the old, lone farmhouse in his sights and his heart nearly halfway up his throat with fear, your own throat pulsed, and opened the last two inches to him in. Your nose found their home in the rough, grey, wiry hairs at the base of his belly, having swallowed him whole, and Joel quickly sensed the start of what he knew too well.
He came down your throat in one, two, three, four, five long spurts, and didn’t let his foot off the gas even once.
He saw your house, approaching closer now, and paled.
No fucking way.
You’d wanted to skip the whole way up your drive.
Spit still drying on your cheeks, cum resting comfortably in your belly, and a smile as bright as the sun on your face as you waved to the F-150 pulling off toward the road, you’d never felt more alive—or smug—in your life.
“Is your dad…Lucien Flores?” Joel had asked no more than a second after his dick slipped out of your mouth.
“The one and only.”
Somehow, his face got even paler. His jaw visibly clenched, and his palm hit the top of the wheel. Hard.
It was then that you’d learned your father had hired Joel Miller on as a full-time ranch hand sometime last week.
He’d remembered the address, vaguely, but didn’t connect the dots until he’d pulled up in front of your house and damn near punctured your windpipe with his pulsing dick from how fast he’d jumped up—and cum.
His spend had almost shot through your nose with the force of it, but you didn’t mind. Once he’d revealed the wild, gory, and admittedly hilarious details of his newfound employment, you were too busy laughing your ass off to care if he’d torn your throat in two with his dick.
“So you really are a cowboy, then,” you’d said, giggling.
Joel had scowled. Rolled his eyes. Practically turned the color of a tomato when you leaned in and kissed him.
Now you were waving to him from your front door.
Joel’s truck was slow to go. The taste of him was fresh.
And there, weighing light in your back pocket while you said goodbye was a brand new pack of Marlboro Reds.
2:21 AM
You were safely in bed. You checked your phone.
Aside from fourteen missed calls, you saw:
1:09 AM – Maria
DUDE
1:09 AM
TOMMY JUST CAME HOME
1:09 AM
THAT’S NOT HIM AT THE BAR
1:13 AM
IT’S JUST JOEL!! HIS BROTHER!!!
1:13 AM
ABORT ABORT ABORT
1:42 AM
DAVE SAID YOU BEAT JOEL UP???? CALL ME
1:54 AM – Dave York
Ur gonna fuck that old dude aren’t u
#‘HIS FIST IS BIG BUT MY GUN’S BIGGER’#‘HE’LL FIND OUT WHEN I PULL THE TRIGGER’#ms. lambert was INSANE for that#supporting women’s rights and wrongs all day long in this fic#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller imagine#joel miller one shot#joel miller#joel miller tlou#joel miller fic#joel miller fanfiction#joel tlou#the last of us fic
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i'll keep every promise (if it's a promise with you) | oikawa tooru x reader
oikawa tooru has a bad habit of breaking promises and running from his first love. or: the four times oikawa breaks his promises and the one time he keeps one
( a / n ) - oh my god this is my magnum opus... my baby.. its a little bit of angst and a little bit of fluff and a little slice of life. u go through ages 6 to 28 LMFAO. iwaizumi + you + oikawa were such a fun trio to write for and i hope u guys enjoy !!
gn! reader | 2k words | happy birthday OIKAWA
Oikawa Tooru has a guilty conscience and a bad habit of breaking his promises.
For every promise made and every promise broken, Tooru repents: 200 yen slid in a saisen-bako, a ninety degree bow, two wishes at a shrine. An offering to counter every promise he breaks, ample water to wash away his sins, and apologies written on wood.
( Iwaizumi has made the grand suggestion of: Maybe not breaking your promises? on several occasions, but Tooru can’t help it. )
He’s broken four promises and made eight wishes so far: four on blue Tanzaku and four atop Ema boards, followed with a prayer and an offering if the promise broken was particularly heinous or particularly his fault.
He breaks his first promise at six years old– one made with you and Iwaizumi when the three of you were four and freshly neighbors. It was Tooru’s birthday, and he had promised this:
I swear that I will take us all to the Ryokan before I turn six.
It’s a small promise: one that neither you nor Hajime had expected him to follow through with. But Tooru believed it, and Tooru had tried. He takes every single chore and odd job in the Oikawa household, scraping together a two-year-old Ryokan trust fund with mismatched coins and crumpled bills. He saves his allowances and puts everything in a glass jar next to his bed, and dreams.
Two Julys pass. Oikawa blows out four candles and then five, the jar gets bigger, you start Elementary school, and you and Hajime forget about the Ryokan. And then, on the third July, when Tooru turns six, you and Iwaizumi find Tooru mumbling about a broken promise— courtesy of his failure to take the three of you on an all inclusive trip to that Snow Monkey Ryokan that Iwaizumi wanted to go to.
So he apologizes through prayers at a shrine and two wishes under a red Torii gate. It’s a thirty five stair climb to the neighborhood shrine: Hajime and Tooru race up and you come last, but the view is gorgeous and Tooru feels considerably less guilty.
It is 100 yen for each wish on a colored paper strip. Hajime says they’re called Tanzaku. Hajime drops one coin, Tooru drops four, you drop two. Seven thunks, four wishes.
Tooru gets the honor of tying your tanzaku on bamboo branches as the tallest of your trio, and with it, the honor of reading your wishes.
Iwaizumi’s wish is messy and scrawled on bright red— Tooru tells him to Please work on your handwriting, but it’s legible and all well wishes for volleyball and you and Oikawa and cicadas.
Tooru’s got two wishes— a cyan one and a turquoise one, but he only lets you and Hajime read the cyan one. His cyan one is a little neater than Iwaizumi’s and reads:
Sorry I couldn’t take us to the Monkey Ryokan.
He hangs the red one on his tippy-toes. Cyan next. Hajime cheers a little when Tooru hangs turquoise next to your pink one, and then asks:
“Whaddya need two wishes for anyways?”
He shrugs.
“Guilty conscience, maybe?”
You’re thirteen when Tooru promises that he is going to ask you out in two years. Tooru is not allowed to date until he’s in high school, so he tells you under a blanket of stars that when the two of you are a little older, he will ask you out properly and maybe take you on a date.
He walks you to school every morning. Hajime comes too, but the pink skies before the sun rises are for you and Tooru. Moments before you make it to Iwaizumi’s block are moments that Tooru gives you his scarf, and then his gloves, and when the wind bites at your cheeks too hard his jacket is draped over your shoulders. On rainy days, Tooru holds the umbrella and laughs as your fingers brush and your cheeks flush. Some mornings he brings you toast: and tells you in hushed whispers to eat it before Iwa-Chan sees.
Oikawa and Iwaizumi walk you home after cram school and volleyball practice. Hajime’s house is first— so Iwaizumi bows first, heads back inside first, waves goodnight first. When the door closes and the light turns on, the black sky and twinkling stars are for you and Tooru. He always says Good Night saccharine sweet with a smile like the sun that makes you feel like you really can’t wait to turn fifteen.
Oikawa blows out fourteen candles. The three of you graduate in blue and walk home like usual. Summer passes, another July goes by, Oikawa blows out fifteen candles, and high school starts.
You learn several things in your first year at high school: you really like the student council, Hajime is actually pretty smart, and Tooru is afraid of commitment.
Tooru is popular: he is athletic and tall and the Volleyball Club’s golden first year. He smiles at the girls in his class, he slings arms around their shoulders, he winks when he passes by the student council room, and he preens a little and shines a lot.
Oikawa is fifteen when he goes on his first date with a girl from another school: and when he tells you and Iwaizumi after he gets home, he plays dumb as Hajime gives him a look and takes you home, overhearing Iwaizumi’s apologies and your crestfallen voice as you say something about a promise.
Oikawa’s chest hurts that night so he walks to the shrine with 200 yen in his pocket and a sorry scrawled on two pieces of colored Tanzaku.
Oikawa turns sixteen and goes to the shrine again.
This time, it’s a broken promise with a girl in his class. She was popular– she smelled like cotton candy and reminded Tooru of strawberries and daisies, so when she asked Tooru out, he had said Sure, and he had smiled like she was the sun.
But he’s a bad boyfriend– a terrible boyfriend– because he’s only there when it’s convenient and he ditches her for volleyball practice and maybe sometimes he catches himself thinking about a certain childhood friend when she holds his hand and buys him milk bread at lunch.
She was sweet and she was terribly pretty, but he doesn’t feel anything when she kisses him or when she rests her head on his shoulder.
Iwaizumi asks him what he’s running from after practice one day. Tooru knows Iwaizumi is asking why he is running from you.
Tooru is a little scared of how you make him feel too much. Oikawa likes being in control and Oikawa likes stability, so when he realizes that his heart thumps erratically whenever you’re around and he finds himself all consumed with thoughts of you and a burning desire to please you; he rejects and refrains. And runs.
His girlfriend dumps him after a few months. Tooru says sorry, removes her phone contact, and faintly remembers a promise he made with her four weeks ago.
I swear I’m not in love with someone else.
from: tooru (23:20) shrine time!!! ٩(◕‿◕。)۶
from: hajime (23:21) You broke another promise?? Ur a piece of shit lol
from: tooru (23:22) iwaaa chan U ̄ー ̄U ur so mean !
from: you (23:24) bro . don’t tell me it was about ur ex ur a manwhore !!!!
from: hajime (23:25) Average Shittykawa moment
from: tooru (23:25) i can’t help it !! (✿ ♥‿♥) everyone wants a piece of me !!! ill pick u guys up and we’ll go to the shrine and ramen after plsss ☆
from: hajime (23:26) Ur treat?
from: tooru (23:27) iwa-chan’s treat !! i’m going through a nasty breakup, remember ? \_( ◉ 3 ◉ )_/¯
from: you (23:29) hajime we know his address we can burn his room down
from: tooru (23:30) OK FINE my treat! it’s on me!!! everyone say thank you tooru !!!
from: hajime (23:31) thank you tooooruuu chan (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
tooru and y/n reacted with: Scared !
from: tooru (23:32) um please don’t do that ever again
Oikawa’s fourth promise is one to himself and one to Seijoh.
We will make it to Nationals.
He doesn’t leave his room for a week when he breaks it. He’s inconsolable. He says he’s sick: he’s got a bad fever, it’s contagious, he’s bedridden, he’s fine. But the lights are never on in his room, his curtains are always drawn, and you know that Tooru devoted everything for a chance and a dream and a volleyball.
He comes to you first. He’s standing in your doorway and there are bags under his eyes and he says, Hi, and then, I’m fine. He tries for a smile— and then you give him a look, and suddenly he’s in your arms and sobbing.
He cries for two hours. Tooru ugly cries– his chest racks when he sobs and his arms are tight around you and digging into your back. Oikawa Tooru is not weak: but he is not a prodigy.
He falls asleep in your bed with his head in your lap and your hands in his hair, but his eyebrows are furrowed and he’s shifting a lot and he’s probably having a nightmare. You call Hajime before gently shaking Tooru awake.
He blinks up at you— all puffy eyes and tousled hair and swollen cheeks, but he sees you and he softens.
“Wanna go to the shrine?”
Iwaizumi still grumbles the whole way up the thirty five steps, but he’s quiet as Oikawa slips two coins into the saizen-bako. Hajime wraps an arm around your shoulder as the coins rattle in the box and you know he’s upset too— his hands are slightly shaking and he keeps sniffing. Nationals might have been Oikawa’s dream but Iwaizumi was also a dreamer, and sure, Oikawa was going to go, but they were going to go together.
Tooru hangs two Ema boards and for the first time, he bows at the Honden. Two claps. Head down and hands together as he prays. Iwaizumi joins him: and you watch as Oikawa apologizes to him and Hajime shakes his head- because it was Hajime’s promise too.
Oikawa is twenty-eight and on a plane when he finally keeps his first promise.
It’s a small promise: but a promise nonetheless, one that he made before he left for Argentina. He tells you he loves you at the airport but he has his boarding pass in one hand and his passport in the other. And you tell him you love him too, but also that he’s being unfair, and no you won’t go out with him. And Oikawa knew you would say that, but he still finds himself making a promise– a promise you laugh at because Oikawa Tooru never keeps his promises.
If we’re still single in ten years, I’m going to find you, and I’m going to ask you out.
You cry, and Tooru wraps his arms around you and cries too— and then Iwaizumi’s there, and Iwaizumi’s crying, and you don’t know which part of you is Oikawa or Iwaizumi. Oikawa leaves for Argentina with a heavy heart but a hunger for the future.
In the ten years that pass he plays a lot of volleyball. He tans a lot. He learns some Spanish. He tries beach volleyball. And then, he buys a plane ticket on his birthday.
from: y/n (21:12) happy birthday tooru !! me n hajime r having an honorary drink for u. hope ur having fun in argentina!!! hajime and i say te amo !!!!
from: tooru (21:15) i’d like a hot sake plssss thank u!!! ( ˙▿˙ )
from: y/n (21:15) LMFAO. no. me and haji r drinking ASAHI DRRRRRRYYYYYYYY for u bro also hajime got BUFF wat the hell hope ur tanning good in argentina
from: tooru (21:16) well tell BUFF iwa chan that ill be there in 5 and i want a HOT SAKE and also YES i tanned good SO EYES OFF IWAIZUMI
from: y/n (21:17) ? what? ur funny lol … TOORU?
Tooru is twenty eight and might retire soon. Thirty five stairs is too many to climb and keeping promises is far more fun than breaking them. So he taps your shoulder, hands Iwaizumi your bouquet, and takes your cheeks in his palms to tilt your chin over.
“Hi!” He says.
Tooru bends down to kiss you.
#oikawa#oikawa x reader#oikawa toru#oikawa toru x reader#oikawa tooru x reader#oikawa tooru#oikawa fluff#oikawa angst#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu fic#oikawa fic#haikyu x reader#oikawa x you
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Rafe Cameron x Reader GF <3
Rafe with a girlfriend that loves to read. He doesn’t get it. Really. But he’d do anything to make his girl happy. ❤️🩹
Just Rafe being disgustingly sweet and spoiling reader…
I wanna make a part 2 where he finds out about annotating cuz that scenario is just hillarious to me 😭 lmk if you want it!
» masterlist
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“Hey, baby,” Rafe mumbled as he walked into the kitchen, it was early in the morning and his voice was still rough, his hair messy and his eyes barely open as he reached for your coffee and took a sip. You were staying at Tannyhill for a while because his dad was on some family trip with Sarah and Rose.
You chuckled and reached for your coffee, snatching it from his hand. “Morning.”
He started to make coffee for himself as well, you’d normally admire his back in the white shirt he was wearing, but you were almost finished with your book so you kept reading, eyes glued to the page. Rafe noticed and looked over his shoulder at you. “Wheezie’s still sleeping?” His eyes trailed down to the table, one singular book laying there but a bunch of mini colorful papers and pens laying around it. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed there was no notebook tho. Weird.
“Mhm,” you gave a quick nod, clearly more focused on the text in your book than on him. “Made you some waffles.” You added and kept reading the page quickly. Suddenly you let out a gasp.
“What?” Rafe quickly turned around, his flight fight or fight mode on immediately. Then he let out a frustrated groan when he realised why you gasped and he leaned against the table, flexing his arms (not happy that you didn’t even look), and sneaking a glance at the page.
“Oh, my fucking God. I need to know the rest.” You let out a tortured moan and looked up at him, suddenly realising you were not alone and that your very much judgy boyfriend was staring at you. You felt your cheeks flush. “Sorry, um… it just… was intense is all.” You closed the book shut, avoiding eye contact with him.
Rafe grinned. “You’re so weird.” He mumbled and ran a hand through your hair. “So, so weird it actually makes you cute as fuck.” He whispered as he leaned down to you, you closed your eyes and purred softly at his touch. He smirked, satisfied that he finally got your attention.
You chuckled at his comment, looking up at him. You knew Rafe didn’t get it. He was very much reality-oriented and you were sure you wouldn’t be able to force him to read a book if his life depended on it. Yours maybe… but you’d probably die anyway. Plus there was no way he’d ever find the time in his schedule to read something. He was either taking care of business or spent all his free time with you and you only, and intended to keep it that way.
He went back to making coffee and you pulled out your phone, looking up the next book in the series you were currently reading. The thing is it was still a fresh release and everyone loved this series so it was sold out everywhere, hard to get and if a store had it they put an insane price on it, knowing some people would buy it anyway.
“30 fucking dollars for a paperback? Fucking assholes.” You slammed your phone down and Rafe turned around, giving you a look of genuine confusion.
“What’s wrong?” He had no idea what a paperback means, or how much books even cost. Thirty dollars sounded normal to him… cheap even.
“What’s wrong? Baby 30 bucks would be insane even for a hardcover.”
“A what?”
“Doesn’t matter. It’s fucking ridiculous. They put a big price on it because they know people want it and some people will buy it but I-“
“I’ll get it for you.” Rafe stopped your rant and sat down next to you with his coffee and the waffles you made earlier.
“What? No, Rafey, no. It’s so fucking expensive.”
He genuinely grinned at your statement. “Baby, it’s 30 bucks.” He rested his hand on your knee, drawing little circles with his thumb, trying to ease your mood. He was still sleepy, normally you’d admire how pretty he looked with his hair all messy and eyes puffy.
“No. That’s not the point. It’s too much for a book. Baby a paperback is usually around 10 dollars.”
“So?”
You groaned. Oh how you wanted to rant to someone about how stupid it was, but of course Rafe didn’t understand. Where was Wheezie when you needed her?
Rafe grabbed your phone and checked the location of the bookstore. You both ate your waffles and chatted about some other things for a while. He eventually got up. “Get dressed, we’ll go get it.”
“Rafey it’s really okay-“
“Shut upppp,” it was his turn to groan in annoyance now and you chuckled at his expression. “Wanna make you happy baby, I don’t give a fuck if it costs a thousand. Get dressed.”
There was no arguing with Rafe once he made up his mind. You were on his bike within a few minutes, holding on to him as he parked in front of the bookstore. He grabbed your waist as he led you inside, holding you close to him — it was a thing he did whenever you went to public together.
You immediately knew where to look for the book you wanted, but your eyes lingered on some new releases on your way over to the fantasy isle anyway, remembering you wanted some of them.
Rafe followed closely behind, texting Barry back on his phone about something.
There were two girls standing next to the fantasy isle and you heard them rant about how overpriced this specific book is and how unfair it is. You really couldn’t agree more. You reached for it and sighed. “Oh God,” you mumbled to yourself when you saw the price. Not thirty, but thirty fucking two.
“Right?!” One of the girls looked at you, obviously also pissed off. “I mean, how greedy can they get.” She ranted.
“Yeah I threw a tantrum when I saw how much it is this morning.” You laughed and she laughed as well, the other girl adding in her own complaining and you were chatting about it for a while, talking about the events of the first book in the series. Rafe was behind you for a while but he got annoyed with Barrys shit over the phone so he found a chair to sit on and let you talk to the girls.
“Right, um, I’ll get going.” You eventually said to the girls when you noticed Rafe was now just scrolling on his phone. You didn’t really wanna keep him waiting.
“Wait you’re actually buying it?!”
“Um,” you let out a nervous laugh, “yeah, well, no… my um, boyfriend’s getting it for me.” You admitted, you didn’t want to brag but you also didn’t want to say you’re getting it and take the credit for something he’s paying for.
“Oh wow, lucky.” One of the girls smiled, sneaking a glance at him. You could tell just from the look in her eyes that she found Rafe scary. Most people did.
“I’m jealous,” the other whispered, whether about your boyfriend or the book was not clear. You smiled and said your goodbye, and went over to Rafe who was now on his feet, leaning against the wall.
He furrowed his eyebrows when he saw you only came back with that one book. “Did you fucking read the whole thing already?”
“What do you mean?” You grinned, ignoring his grumpiness.
“I thought you were picking shit. What were you doing?”
“Oh no, I was chatting with some girls. Sorry. They also had a lot to say about the pricing.” You smiled at him apologetically.
“Well yeah, but go pick more books.” He said annoyed. He didn’t really mind waiting for you but he didn’t understand why you only grabbed one.
“No, baby, this one’s already overpriced as fuck I don’t wanna-“
“For Gods sake Y/N, we’re already here. Get more. Wanna spoil you baby.” He brushed his finger against your cheek and put a strand of your hair behind your ear. You smiled at him and tried to hide your blush.
“Okay, alright. Can you—“
“Mhm,” he knew what you were asking immediately and grabbed the one you already had so you can go look at some more.
You were walking around the isles, checking out a bunch of books. You’d lie if you said you didn’t want almost every single one. As you were reading the back of some modern romance Rafe appeared behind you, he came closer to you and put one hand next to your head, leaning against you. You could feel his breath at the back of your neck and a shiver ran down your spine.
“Isn’t that just about sex?”
“Yeah,” you laughed, not noticing that the girls you were chatting to earlier were standing next to you and Rafe.
He seemed genuinely confused. “Why’d you read about it when we can do it?”
“Rafe,” you laughed again and turned around to face him, giving him a look, blushing when you noticed there were other people too.
“What? I’m serious. Bet I can make you feel better than some words on paper.” He brushed his hand against your back and you felt your whole body tense up… that is until you heard the girls next to you giggle.
“Shut the fuck up,” you mumbled, embarassment evident in your face. But Rafe just smirked, always eager to make you flustered.
“Besides,” you added, putting the book back, “you’d be surprised what a few words on paper can do to you.”
He gave you a susprised look, “Seriously?”
“Yeah where do you think I learned all my tricks?” You said jokingly and he grinned as well.
“Dunno, you were pretty innocent before I corrupted your pretty mind.” He mumbled next to your ear and nibbled at the skin of your exposed neck, softly kissing a mark. His mark.
Rafe smirked when he noticed the way your body reacted by leaning closer to him, and reached over you to grab the book you placed back. “So we’re buying it?”
“No.”
“Why not?” He raised an eyebrow. You were obviously intrigued by it, he thought.
“It doesn’t sound that interesting,” obvious lie, “’m gonna look for something else.”
“Get something else and this as well?”
“No, Rafey, books can get-“ but he just rolled his eyes and held it next to the first book you picked. Already made up his mind.
You knew he’d just get it no matter what you said. “Wait, it’s a sequel, can you—“ You looked up, not only was this store overpriced as fuck but they obviously also had zero respect for small people.
“Hm, here,” he leaned even closer, brushing his lips against your ear, trapping you a little, your back pressed against the bookshelf. “Which one?” He teased you with a smirk, his fingers brushing your hair aside to make the marks he left there the other day visible, his breath brushing over them.
Then he got the book you pointed at, leaving you shivering just a bit more. “Needing me so bad for everything…” he murmured happily.
Rafe figured quickly that you’d act all humble the whole time. You always picked up a book, read the back, smiled at it… and put it back. Every. Damn. Time. And after an hour of him waiting you had the audacity to come to him with only two books. He didn’t say anything, just got up, grabbed them from your hands and made his way to the cashier.
“Hey, princess, hold this for me.” He handed you the four books as he wanted to reach into his pocket for his wallet on the way. You took the books without questioning him, and he quickly grabbed most of the books he noticed you were checking earlier. He also grabbed the better ones, the ones that were more expensive… hardbacks? That’s what you called it, right? So quickly you didn’t even really get the chance to protest.
“Rafe-“
“Shut it,” he growled and this was the first time today he didn’t say that in a joking manner.
So you did.
“Everything alright, sir?” The cashier asked. Rafe gave her a quick nod and noticed they had some snacks — mostly chocolates — there. So he grabbed a few and added that to the pile of books.
He waited for the cashier to finish her job when you suddenly realised something.
“Rafe, wait.” You mumbled and ran off. He didn’t really understand but you came back with one more book a second later. He didn’t mind at all. Tho it didn’t really seem like your style, compared to all the other books… this one was colorful and seemed like some rom-com high school bullshit, but he didn’t question you.
“Your total’s $273, sir…”
You felt your body freeze. “Rafe you don’t-“
But he already pulled out his card without blinking an eye. “Told you to shut it.” He whispered and grabbed the bags with your books and threw his free arm around you, leading you out of the store.
He let out a sigh when you both exited the store and you were afraid for a second that it was because it really was too expensive.
“You’re impossible, you know that?”
Fuck.
“The worst sugar baby ever.” He added and gave you a relaxed smile.
Oh… that’s what he meant. You felt relief as you smiled at him as well, laughing at his nickname for you.
“Thank you, baby.” You mumbled and wrapped your arms around his waist as you both made your way to his bike.
“Mhm, anything for you. Anytime.” He kissed the top of your head and you felt butterflies in your stomach.
Wheezie was already up when you both returned to Tannyhill. She was excited to see all the books you got so you sat down on a couch with her and showed her everything, telling her about each one. Rafe didn’t really care… plus all the fantasy terms started to give him a headache so he minded his own business, dealing with something on his phone again, occasionally resting his hand on your thigh.
“Oh yeah, this one’s for you. I knew you wanted it.”
That caught his attention. He looked up from his phone and saw Wheezies eyes sparkle as she flipped through the book you picked for her. He felt his heart warm up. You really were thinking of his little sister too… He’s so going you wife you up one day. Probably soon.
He sneaked his arm around your waist and squeezed you gently, thanking you.
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron scenario#rafe cameron scenarios#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron imagines#rafe cameron smau#drew starkey#drew starkey x reader#outer banks#outer banks x reader#obx#rafe outer banks#outer banks rafe#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron fluff#rafe x reader#rafe imagine
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