#anyway it just sticks out to me because he normally does an incredible job of giving her eyes and face full attention

[gingerteaonthetardis]

need to start a 'my eyes are up here' gif collection for xfiles s2 because this man is really starting to slip ajdhskahd

[thegeminisage]

IT'S. sigh. tng update time. monday we did "the next phase" and "the inner light" and last night we did "time's arrow" parts 1 & 2. for once i actually am writing this the next afternoon lol

the next phase:

i LOOOOVED this one. wow <3 for so long i have been saying THOLIAN WEB and it's NEVER tholian web but THIS TIME IT WAS!!! i kind of wish it had been riker and worf but it HAD to be geordi because of data sorta kinda tracking him down

anyway i do love ro so much so i can't be too unhappy to have gotten her, and it's so nice to see geordi get to do things that arent be creepy with a woman...im really glad they didn't try to do any ro/geordi romance, they were just buds in a situation and they were thrilled to wiggle their way out of it

ro's thots on the afterlife were actually really poignant. it seemed stupid at first, when geordi knew and she knew that they weren't dead, but by the end it really was a nice subtle touch to have her acknowledge that the certainty of her beliefs can't compare to the vastness of the unknown, or the amount of things she doesn't and may never know

absolute BALLER of a time watching the enterprise plan these guys funerals. data doing geordi's was SO sweet because he loves him!!!!! he loves him!!!!!!!!!!!! meanwhile you get to hoot and holler over riker, having fucked ro while they were all amnesia'd, absolutely wracking his brains over something appropriate to say at her funeral.........and then he just plays his trombone instead and she invisibly shoots him in the head. iconique.

the invisible romulan really got me...i THOUGHT that extra was doing a bad job of looking like he wasn't listening to geordi and ro AND THEN HE GOT UP AND WALKED AFTER THEM. extremely cool moment. it was fucking stupid that he tried to shoot them instead of just work with them but it did lead to a cool and terrifying moment where they SPACED HIM??? by virtue of him simply phasing through the wall of the ship. i would have been so terrified of windows after that. like geordi just straight up killed that guy

also, fight scene while the romantic couple blissfully has their date. incredible.

some logistics questions: if they were alive why couldn't deanna feel their emotions? also, if they phase through stuff why do they stick to floors? more questions than answers...

the inner light

you know, this was good actually. i'll admit i was kind of bored at times during this episode, because i don't super care about picard As A Character, so all his tender moments with his wife and family were like eeehh. who cares. and since i like the side characters more the episode that pretty much didn't have them is a bit of a hard sell

THAT SAID. conceptually this popped off. it reminds me of the buffy episode where she's in the nut house or the r*ddit lamp story which hilariously references the star trek episode in the edit. the changes like the tree and the dead plants on their house and the skill involved in picard's flute playing (i wonder if sir patrick stewart can actually play...) were cool to track even if some of the interpersonal moments fell flat, and i REALLY like the actress who played his daughter, i think she did a great job

i normally hate old person makeup but picard's actually looked pretty good until the very end stage lol

one thing i wished for in the end was a little more emotion or even some fallout at all?? which i feel like i say about tng all the time, and i KNOW tos was also guilty of this sometimes, but some tng episodes spend AGES on the scifi technobabble (which is good only if it serves the plot OR adds to the scifi concept presented, and it often does neither) and then feel like emotionally they need another 5 or 10 minutes at the end and it drives me nuts. like, ik they don't cry in this show but he didn't even cry. deanna didn't come in and tell him those memories and that time were still real to him and it was okay to be fucked up about them. no one asked him how long he held onto the memory of his other life before he gave in completely and became kamin. we didn't even get any lines about like "i'll contact starfleet and do everything in my power to help revive their culture" or whatever. just flute scene (which was good!) and then we're done. sigh.

also, i really hate whatever riker has going on with picard. like he's so weirdly overprotective and it doesn't even speak to affection, they way it would with say deanna or worf or one of his other creew mates, it feels infantilizing (making picard seem even LESS competent and compelling than he already does), smothering, and, because it's ONLY with picard and ONLY riker that does this, it doesn't even feel like poignant platonic love-and-duty mixing like in the tos movies where each and every one of kirk's crew is willing to commit crimes and risk their lives to go after spock's body, just because that's how loyalty works. it's so awkward and uncomfortable, i hate it. like i always say tng doesn't have enough displays of affection and then the one time they regularly do have riker displaying concern for another character it's whatever he's doing with picard. like picard is his frail old man grandpa and riker's trying to keep him from wandering off with the car keys. sigh again.

time's arrow:

a massive disappointment. or maybe i can't say disappointment if my hopes weren't high to begin with. i remember reading the summary and thinking "cool, a data episode!" but also "19th century earth? yeesh, sounds holodeck-y," and i was right on both counts.

again it's a problem that we did the s5 finale and then s6 opening in a single night, because it made it feel MUCH longer, and it's also impossible for me to differentiate ebtween the two episodes now. hopefully this is the last time it will work out this way, but generally speaking, aside from the borg episodes, all of tng's two-parters (there may be an exception i'm forgetting) have been uh. not great.

star of this show: DATA'S HEAD. i remember being so disappointed we didn't get to see it in that episode where riker had to carry it around BEING SEEING IT WAS HORRIFIC. i can't believe they put that on television!!!

the emotion stakes of data's impending death were good. i wish they'd mattered! geordi trying to fix him could have had a little more desperation, a little more "i'll cheat fate itself for my friend if i have to." actually the person who showed the most worry WAS picard, and while this was nice, it made no sense that he allowed data to go down to the planet regardless of it, and then...also advocated that they forget data and focus on their mission, even against RIKER'S request to keep looking for him. riker showed concern for someone other than picard and picard was like yeah um whatever. today in picard crimes: advocating for leaving one of his guys behind. sorry to keep comparing him to kirk but EVERY time kirk lost a guy, you felt it. you saw HIM feel it. not even a guy he was close to like spock, even just a little red shirt, you knew he was thinking of the fucking letters he'd have to write to their families, you know? meanwhile picard is just like "um what concern? that was 20 minutes ago, we have scifi stuff to do now."

19th century earth sucked. it DID feel holodeck-y and was only marginally better because at least the stakes here were real, poorly illustrated as they were. like you know data's not gonna die, but instead of focusing on the enemies this episode (and that tall lady genuinely was a bit spooky...too bad she had no lines) we farted around with the most annoying portrayal of mark twain i have EVER seen in my life. we also got cool lines such as beverly saying "cholera wasn't THAT infectious" and the native american guy at the poker table grunting "pale face" at data. super.

guinan was a GREAT change of pace, but we had a golden opportunity to get more backstory on her and got absolutely none of it. that one line about her father intrigued me so much - is this before the borg ate her planet? does she regret not reconciling with him? did he die in that attack? why is she at odds with him? was this why she wasn't at home when they ate her planet? imagine if we had gotten some of it and picard had been tempted to save her whole planet by urging them to evacuate, or at least telling her to spend time with her loved ones while she could...but instead we had to focus on mark twain being ~quirky and randumb XD~

in the end, the consequences of data's head spending 500 years underground were...nothing. except that picard got to leave himself a back to the future 3 message not to shoot the aliens i guess

SPEAKING OF THE ALIENS. did he just WIPE OUT their entire species without a single fucking word breathed about the prime directive? genuinely the aliens who were eating people were cool and spooky. i'd have liked to see more of them and we barely knew what they were and what their purpose was. so much for working it out nonviolently. picard made half an attempt and the lady alien died and he shrugged and was like oh well! genocide it is. add to this to the list of problematic picard stances, including advocation for euthanasia of the disabled, conversation therapy, human trafficking, animal testing, and leaving your guys behind to die. THEY HAVE GOT TO STOP MAKING HIM LIKE THIS. this is killing me. i'm trying my very very best to like him and i hate his ass!!

next time: i, alone, am doing "realm of fear" which i am told is a barclay episode and "man of the people" which seems rapey. i am in total dread. tng is fantastic every once in a great great while, but most of the time i cannot wait for it to be over.

[nanjokei]

this is a post of me shitting on intsys for what happened to engage, i honestly feel bad for mika pikazo, basically thrown under the bus by intsys from the start, was given very little instruction on what to do and what the mood of the game (engage) will be and it seems like there wasn't much of an editing down phase either. i feel bad she was just handed the paltry descriptions of 40 characters (being instructed to draw "older woman" and then the character turning out to be 30 sticks out in my mind) with not much direction.

im not a big fan of her style these days, more of a 2018 mika pikazo appreciator, but i question why they hired the artist who most commonly draws album covers, magazine covers and alt designs for already existing characters like hatsune miku. i do think the onus falls on intsys for hiring someone who seemingly doesn't fit the job, but i think if they actually gave real direction the designs would not be in the state they are now.

ofc being the nerd i am i object to her art being pejoratively labeled as "vtuber art" because i never understood that label and also frankly i think it's insulting to reduce the style of an artist who has been around for a long time to just one thing. i keep seeing that post explaining it and its like buddy... sorry you keep seeing personalityless twitch indies who overcompensate by overpaying for ugly overdesigned models but saying "vtuber style" is surmountable to "too anime". what does it mean?! i read that post over and over and i feel like the influence of "vtuber" (incredibly vague term that means nothing and changes between whoever uses it because its convenient) and "genshin" (im not a genshin fan and i dont care for the designs in it but is it really that influential as OP claims?) is very overstated... if anything the design in anime and games these days is increasingly influenced by subculture, shit like jiraikei which i actually dislike because THAT'S repetitive and generic. how many times have you seen a design in recent years that's structurally just this to the point of being boring to tears

im seriously not saying this as a "vtuber fan", given the vtubers i watch most often are "elf guy in a suit", "guy in labcoat", "girl in very normal school uniform" but i find that kind of criticism an oxymoron. is it because i don't really interact with twitch stuff? like, whatever. i know being an oldhead who usually just sticks to what ive liked for years impacts my point of view. my point is that mika pikazo is a talented artist, the designs she put out for engage were a massive miss but 1) was she the person for the job 2) did intsys give her adequate instructions and support and the answer to both is no. i think it's fine to dislike the designs, i don't like a lot of them either now that i've seen all of them. but at the same time a lot of people are just extra rude about it (seen in replies to redesigns) and usually i wouldn't find any issue but knowing the context that intsys screwed pikaZ over really really stings. i remember when engage was revealed people were harrassing her for weeks which sucks, she's been nothing but a really positive presence online.

i was gonna say "anyway hire someone who fits" but then i remembered how kusakihara is one of the most overbearing control freak art directors in any game company i've ever seen, hiring chinatsu kurahana for fe3h and then not letting her draw any of the in-game sprites despite being an artist who is familiar with the workflow of visual novels and the like... and yes i can tell it's kusakihara imitating her style. i know the way he renders, especially the way he makes tits look disgustingly oiled up.

interestingly, kozaki was always thrown under the bus in a similar way to pikazo, making similar remarks about how fantasy designs aren't his forte and how he's not sure why they hired him (we now know it's because they wanted hidari for awakening but he had other obligations). kozaki even got the blame for some of the worse designs like camilla, even though that was a kusakihara design. i'll lay my cards on the table: i think kozaki's designs, given he is not a fantasy artist, i feel comfortable in saying that they're bad. he's a comic-like artist that does well with modern day stuff. you let him onto fire emblem and he makes the insane armor designs in fea and fates. and of course all my respect to him, but like pikazo he is not the right guy for the job.

anyway i hope you guys are ready for them to hire kishida mel next and for every girl to be an infantile school girl cause LOL. they really gotta stop hiring super specialized artists (like pikazo who does one off illustrations best, and kozaki who does western movie/comic book inspired realistic designs best). even when they hire "the right person", intsys and the art director and overall director kusakihara are overbearing and take over too much (as seen with kozaki and kurahana, according to the echoes artbook there were hints of him trying to influence hidari as well but hidari was not shaken + hidari was there on a favor so they probably couldn't pressure him more LOL)

but yeah i think people should be blaming intsys way more

[yombleflobber-mobile-emporium]

AI Art is Not That Bad

You know, I would love to become a bestselling author.

I would love for even tens of people to read my book, and think it's great. Good, even. A Normal Book. Because "normal" pretty much just means, "real".

And I think a lot of people don't understand what art and writing are about. Maybe I don't, either, but I'm going to lay out why I think I do (at least in this particular discussion about AI).

I want to start by drawing your attention to the fact that I'm a straight white Christian male writing on Tumblr. I disagree with probably most people on here about most of their views. I stick around for two reasons: Tumblr always has felt like the UI is most conducive to my workflow, and I like seeing some of the art that's on here.

I'm a firm believer that society's erasure and ostracization of The Arts is incredibly short-sighted, and our elevation of the STEM fields is practically shameful. I like to wander the halls from time to time without seeing a multitude of comments expressing negativity toward The Arts.

The thing is, this sort of Profit-first mindset is infectious.

That's usually at the heart of STEM versus A; this idea that the only things worth doing are things that will bring you recognition and support you monetarily.

As a side note: As a husband, and a father of two small children, I cannot emphasize enough that there is a definite need for me to support my family financially; my wife presently is a full-time homemaker, and, regardless of who is working [for money], someone needs to. No one is disputing here that Having Money is Important.

To lead back into STEM versus A, however, there is a certain toxic mindset that if your chosen pursuits don't support you/your family, then:

You shouldn't have a family. This is primarily the sort of "A man builds a house, and then invites his wife to come live with him." as though everyone can afford a house, and as though you need to have all your shit together prior to even courting/dating someone.

You shouldn't pursue your passions. This is often bundled with the idea that you shouldn't have a family, as expressed in the sentiment, "Don't marry that guy; he's only an artist [and not a very good one at that]."

And let's be real here; any art worth making is going to take time, and time spent on art is often time spent away from other pursuits. I have a unique position as a night shift guard in that I can write during work hours (or pretty much anything, so long as I can lug it in and it isn't disruptive to my actual paid work). This is kind of a double-edged sword, because I'm not working on my story right now; I'm writing an angry post about AI.

Now, you may be asking at this point why and how this relates to AI. I haven't really addressed it much, except to remind you at odd points that this somehow does relate.

The only reason you care about AI is that you're afraid that it's going to decrease your profits.

You have lost sight of what art is, and why you do it.

You've convinced yourself that people need to pay you for your art, and, since you spent a long time on it, pay you a lot.

You think that your art is yours, and you can dictate how other people use it.

You've convinced yourself that people that make AI art and writing are stealing, and that makes them lesser people than you.

You think that writing a prompt into ChatGPT doesn't make you an artist, or a writer; it makes you a thief.

Why do you paint?

Why do you draw?

Why do you write?

Why do you sculpt?

Would you paint, draw, write, or sculpt if no one ever told you they liked it, or paid you for it?

Hi. I write stories. I got one published, and maybe sometime I will turn a profit. I'm working on a book.

When I finish my book, I am going to copyright it, print several copies of it, and put several of them in Little Free Libraries. That's the plan, anyway. It will probably, all told, cost around $3000. Maybe I'll get that back, maybe not.

Maybe eventually I will find a job where I can write. Maybe I'll get stuck in a job where I have to skulk around with my keyboard and write in the back shadows like the muddy little goblin I am.

I write because I enjoy it, but I also write because I have to. I could just...not write, but part of me would start dying.

So really, I don't give a flying fuck if AI is stealing my writing. It's so peripheral. Why do you care?

If you're concerned that your art is being stolen and repackaged, then get better.

A couple years ago, you were whining because customers didn't want to buy your overpriced bullshit.

Now you're whining because those same customers went somewhere and got what they wanted without you.

If it took you "fucking hours" to make, maybe you need to Streamline Your Operation instead of charging obscene prices for a pretty little paperweight.

You can't just ignore market trends if you're putting your art up for sale on the market. Basic economics tells us that lower prices moves inventory faster, and generates more net income. Basic factory efficiency studies tell us that certain streamlining techniques make more products faster.

Should you do that with oil painting? I dunno, maybe? You're the painter; you figure out what works and what doesn't.

If you're charging money for your art, why aren't you getting the most money you can for the least amount of work? No, seriously. That's not a bad thing. That's EFFICIENCY, and it doesn't mean your art has to suffer.

Let me say that another way:

If you are selling your art, it is a product. If you can afford to spend hours and hours on your art, you can afford to either spend several hours figuring out how to make your art more efficiently, or hire a consultant to work with you to streamline your workspace. Streamlining production simply means taking out impediments to your work.

Typically, removing impediments lessens the time and effort needed to produce the same thing. Not a lesser thing, the same thing.

Look.

The point is, if you're going to call yourself a professional, act like one.

If (and that's a big "IF" when it comes to AI) you are met with opposition, and you sit down and cry like a baby every time, you don't get to call yourself a professional.

A professional knows their craft well enough that, when push comes to shove, they know where they need to be mutable, and where they need to stand their ground.

A professional accepts criticisms from potential customers graciously, and incorporates that into their future work.

A professional looks at trends, analyzes what is causing those trends, and makes adjustments to their business model accordingly if necessary.

A professional does not engage in fearmongering.

A professional does not engage in hate speech.

A professional does not engage in backbiting.

A professional does not produce garbage.

I am, frankly, ashamed to call myself a writer, or an artist, because of some of the insane, asinine things my fellow artists and writers have said with regards to AI.

Beep, boop, I am a bot. This action was performed automatically. I am a meat machine masquerading as a goblin pretending to be a man. This message was generated with the help of some AI chat service (I'm too lazy to look one up, and definitely didn't use AI to write this). If you write gibberish to try to confuse AI, you aren't a writer. No, seriously, that's bullshit, it's lazy, and you have better things to do.

[mumscarian]

i promised yall that id tell you about my superhero au, so here it is! thanks to all the anons who reminded me abt it, i 100% would not have remembered otherwise. Anyways, take this, and hopefully ill even write it one day lol.

Scar's the hero, Grian's the vigilante, Mumbo's the villain

they are all HORRIBLE at their jobs

You know that one vine by ProZD about the villain who kept accidentally doing good things? that's mumbo. real doofenshmirtz-esque guy.

scar is so clumsy that he practically does mumbo's job for him. he tries to save a cat in a tree and ends up burning the tree down somehow

grian technically can't be bad at his job, seeing as he is a chaotic neutral in his situation. he's charismatic and often gets the better of scar and mumbo, but is very oblivious when it comes to citizen stuff.

there are a few rules to the meta of this au, which are laws of the universe-- unless its really funny or angsty, and in that case: laws were meant to be broken

1. whatever mumbo and scar do, either it is cancelled out by themselves, the other, or grian puts a stop to it. (example situation: the tree scar accidentally sets on fire (mentioned above) is extinguished by mumbo's evil freeze ray, which he was using to try to kill scar. grian was the one who put the cat in the tree in the first place.) 2. Grian, in roadrunner fashion, always gets the upperhand in the end, though there are times when it seems like either the law or mumbo have truly caught him, just for the ✨drama✨ 3. Grian can make anything work, as long as its sticking to the bit. a true looney tunes man. he has the power of the Absurd on his side.

Grian's superpower is his wings, which he can summon at will

Mumbo's is shapeshifting. i dont exactly know what kind of shapeshifting yet, but i did have a cool idea that if he didn't carefully maintain his form, bits of him start flaking away until he's just Void with a mustache tacked on (the mustache never leaves LOL but he does wear a mask as a villain)

Scar desperately hides his superpower, and just uses his outstanding charisma to avoid the question. (he can turn into a cat <3)

As citizens, they are all Very Normal and Not Suspicious At All! Except for grian. lord help that man, he wouldn't know secrecy if it shat on his shoes. It should be an open secret by now, but through a series of comical yet confusing events, his identity is still a secret to the public. for now.

Speaking of Grian, he works at a coffee shop, because I'm in love with cliches. Mumbo is an redstone engineer, and scar is a landscaper. Grian wants to be an architect, but he had to drop out of college for a couple of years. He's taking it online this year tho!

they all know each other, but mumbo's the only one suspicious of anyone's identities

grian and scar, disguised in their hero gear, routinely flirt with each other's and mumbo's civilian identities. mumbo can't because a villain cant exactly flirt with civilians without them throwing a brick at them LOL

the flirting has No Effect on mumbo (besides him being suspicious ig) until he figures out their real identities and the realization that oh my god grian and scar are flirting with me kicks in and he gets incredibly flustered.

i mentioned before that the whole "villain goes to hero's house all broken and battered saying 'i didn't know where else to go'" and that definitely happens. at one point. i dont know where or when but it definitely happens once the story reaches a more serious and less cartoony point. ill make it happen. i dont have much of an actual plot in mind, if you couldnt tell. haha.

thats all i have baiii

[darkcitiesnluv]

Shy/DOM Boyfriend Sunghoon × Kinky Fem Reader (ft Jungwon)

Pairing: Sunghoon x Reader (You)

Genre: smut, fluff, funny?

Warnings: smut 18+

___________________________________________________

" Sunghoon! at seven come to my house, my parents and my younger brother aren't going to be here! " You said excitedly on your phone clutching it tightly.

" Jungwon won't be here? YESS! I'm glad if sees me alone with you he'll karate kick me on the stomach, hehe" Sunghoon chuckled at other side of the line. His big smile was so bright as he talked to you.

" He does taekwondo not karate" you responded to him feeling warm inside to hear him again after a whole month without him.

" Isn't the same thing?..... anyway....I'll be there in a hour, bye love" he ended the call. You squeaked in a mixture of shyness and excitement because he called you love.

" I'm seeing him again...." You sighed. Sunghoon and you started dating a month ago, but because school was over he went in vacations with his family so you couldn't see him for two weeks. But you missed him sooo much, his lips, his hands, his hair,his delicious smell of cologne, his everything.

You couldn't wait to do it again with Sunghoon. Yes Sunghoon and you already lost each others virginity together. Both of you very shy and embarrassed about every single thing. You two even watch a little bit of porn to educate yourself a little. At that time Sunghoon was not really into the idea of watching it since he isn't interested in that kind of stuff and finds it wrong to watch. However you convinced by telling him you two are not doing anything wrong besides learning! That it was for you two only and that'll it'll be the last time watching it.

Well......you two did it....and you were even shock because it didn't look or felt like it was his first time. He just did a great job, still feeling shy at first but as he was getting sexually aroused by you he became confident and turn the bedroom into a fair. You want that again for the third time.

Why are you even counting the times you two did it?

The last two times you did it with him were incredible, it was kind of a vanilla sex and rough vanilla sex all the way but you like it because you loved the after care from him. Now you felt spicy it up a little.....or more. There is so many things you wanna try with Hoonie but you're scared to tell him about your naughty fantasies. What if he thinks you're a sexual freak?

Sunghoon is a very conservative boy, that's how he grew up like with his family. He is a respectful, conservative,and a gentle young men who is quiet a romantic when he feels likes, and really isn't thinking about anything naughty to do.....unless if it's with his secret girlfriend; YOU.

You're going to try to ask him anyway.

You run to your closet and pull out a box that was hidden underneath piles of clothes. There, the black and red lingeries you bought from a friend laid nicely and pretty inside the box.

" Which one should I wear? The red or black" you mumbled to yourself as you check them with your eyes. " Sunghoon likes the color black a lot, and he looks good in black too......the black one wins!" You mumbled excitedly to yourself.

Quickly you exchange your normal undergarments to the black sexy lingering that'll be under your normal clothes. A grey tank top, with a lighter grey jacket kind of zipped up to the top but stops in the middle of your chest and dark grey very comfortable shorts that is quiet short for you. To night you had a plan to seduce him.

After changing you quickly went to the kitchen and prepare snacks to watch a movie with him.

" Pop corn, chips, Pocky sticks..." You said as you put them on the mini table in the middle of the living room.

" I need to stop thinking about Hoon I'm getting all hot and bother" you licked your bottom lip and chuckled quietly while flapping your hands against the air towards you.

*Knock knock knock*

" My man is here!" You jumped from the couch and open the door.

" Baby!"

" Babe!"

You jumped to hug him tight, wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his torso. You kissed him all over his handsome face. Oh how much you missed this smart idiot.

" Oh my, you really missed me a lot huh?" He asked as he try to push his face away from your kisses because he wants to look at you. He smack your butt lightly as he usually does when he sees you. You got down and hold one if his hands.

" You really look handsome today" you said as you check him out while bitting your bottom lip right in front of him. Sunghoon laughed quietly with blushing cheeks. He held your face and kiss your forehead then peck your lips. " I know babe...hehe....how about you?...you look too sexy today?" He raised an eyebrow to you while his eyes linger on your short shorts, but not in a lusty way but more like his questioning on his mind why are you wearing tooo short shorts? It's cold in your house?

You blush a little since you always felt s little nervous or intimidating by a certain look of expression he made when he looked at you and you always found it so attractive.

" I'm not looking sexy at all today, what are you talking about? Sunghoon ah! Come here with me, tell me about your field trip" you pull him down to sit with you on the couch and he followed you.

He sat next to you, his elbows against his almost separated knees, both of his hands clutch together in front of him. He had his torso lean down a little. This is how he usually sits, and once again you find it super attractive, because for you he was expressing his masculinity so much. Just everything about him was attractive and it was one of the reasons why you fell in love with him.

" It was pretty fun until....my step aunt had an accident and fell from the pole she was dancing on....she hurt herself badly" he said in a very serious yet sad tone as pressed both of his lips together and just stare out in space.

You suddenly let out a laugh and immediately covered your mouth. Sunghoon looked at you but then smile and his whole body was paying attention towards you. " Why are you laughing?" He quietly chuckled.

" I'm sorry babe but you just said your aunt fell because she was dancing...on a pole?"

" Yeah- i didn't explain the situation well, she was very drunk that night in the club, she got crazy or high and got up on stage and started dancing you know....sexy? In a sexy way? ....and well she missed a step and fell down...... that's what her boyfriend told us...." He said as he try to control his smile because he didn't want to laugh in such a accidental situation.

You no longer cared and just let it all out. " My prince i missed you so much!" You suddenly got up and freely fall on top of him perfectly. Because of your fall, Sunghoon's back leaned against the couch.

" I missed you too- princess-" he try to said but you kept kissing his lips and then on his neck. " So needy aren't you?" He laughed as he try to push you away from him. " Oh? What about the snacks? Are we going to watch a movie?" Sunghoon asked curiously as he notices the snacks there.

" There's a more delicious snack right in front of me" you said admiring his beauty and his precious smile. Sunghoon smiled as he caressed your cheek with his hand softly. "Princess, you're a delicious snack too....." He said with an embarrassing look. You raised your eyebrows in surprise. " What? Park Sunghoon is that you? You wouldn't say something like that to me?" You tease him. Sunghoon suddenly sat up , with you still on top of him straddling him. " What? You started it!! ' there's a more delicious snack right in front of me'" Sunghoon mimicked your voice making you laugh and lightly hit him on his chest. "Park Sunghoon!!" You shout.

" Yang Y/n!" He shout back, both of you laughing hard.  " Tell me what is that you want princess?...." He asked with a shy smile as his hands caressed up and down your sides to show affection but YOU couldn't control down there from not burning up, but it was getting harder as Sunghoon still gaze at you.

" Sunghoon.....can we make.....love?" You asked a little shy about it but still manage to look at him confidently.

Sunghoon raised both of his eyebrows and widen his eyes. " I don't know why I'm acting surprised, I kind of had the idea from you " he smirked with a grin.

You look back at him as your eyes stare at his quiet plump red lips. Sunghoon was like the male version of snow white: jet black hair, a pretty pale complexion of skin, dark beautiful eyes and natural red or pink plumpy lips. He lips look kissable and felt kissable.

" I'm so lucky to have you, not just because of your handsome appearance but just you, yourself is perfect!" You sincerely said as you rest your head against his shoulder.

Sunghoon smiled as he heard that. He hug you tightly and whispered in your ear. " You're perfect as well my princess.....this month we spend together you've been a really good girl.... should I reward you?" He asked. You widen your eyes as you hear those words from the shy Sunghoon you know.

While Sunghoon on the other side he was controlling his smile by pressing his lips together and closing his eyes tight looking away from you. 'oh my god! Sunghoon!! wasn't that too much!? You probably sounded soo cringe! What is Y/n going to think of you, loser!' Sunghoon thought.

You bit your bottom lip as turn to look at him. " Please reward me......I deserve it...." You said innocently. Sunghoon looked at you surprised probably not expecting you to say anything back. He sighed as he suddenly push you away from him against the couch. He straddle your hips, his hands clutching on your wrists to the sides.

" Let's go to your room.....are you sure your parents aren't coming?...." He asked as he hold you like a bride and made his way to your room.

'ok ok! My confidence is doing a good job again!' he thought.

Just for teasing he throw you on the bed. You immediately pull him by his neck. Lips touching starting a heated make out session. You run your hands everywhere, from his face to his body trying to feel him through his clothes. Sunghoon did the same as he caressed one of your thighs. With his veiny hands force your legs to spread apart so he can lean his hips against your core.

Sunghoon let's go of your lips and reach down to kiss your neck softly as he kept thrusting dryly against you creating a very arousal feeling between you two. You let out tiny whispery moans and Sunghoon let out tiny small moans and groans. " Mmm~...ahhh.....Hoon...."

His hips suddenly started to do circular motions against you to create more friction. You quietly laugh as you held onto his broad shoulders. He glanced at you and smirk. " You like that..." He said and suddenly hit you with his hips against you. You widen your eyes and yelled " ahhhhh! Sunghoon ah!!" Out of surprise.

He chuckled as his right hand that caressed your thigh before went up to rub your right breast and massage it  lightly. You bit your bottom lip as you felt in the clouds when he touch your breasts. You really like that a lot.

His red plumpy lips kissed your neck, shoulder, and in the middle of your clothe chest so passionately making you moan lightly even with your shirt and bra on.

Wow, who thought you can make love and still feel good with your clothes on?

" Take my shirt off...." You whispered to him as he didn't complain and did what you told him to do. He took that jacket and tank off. Soon he saw the black sexy lingering you're wearing.

" Mm? What's this?" He gave you a surprised questionable look. " It's for you love, I bought it for you.... Don't you like it?..."

" I love it, but......you had this planned didn't you?" He said giving you a shy teasing smile.

" Yes baby now laid in your back!" You pushed him off you towards the bed. You climbed on top of him straddling him. Quickly you took of your shorts which showed your nice see through underwear. You pulled Sunghoon against your neck and chest as you decided to ride him on his clothed lap.

As for Sunghoon, he was shock because of your surprising behaviors, this is not his old Y/n?....was she hiding this side of her? He decided to smack, grasp, and scratched your ass making you almost screamed.

" Ahh! Sunghoon!!!" You're not going to lie, you loved it to the point we're you cummed fast and good.

" Oh my god ....oh my god..... Hoon~" breath it out finishing off releasing everything on his pants. " Can I choke you?....." You suddenly said as you kiss and suck his Adam apple on his fine looking neck.

" Ahh~...." He said closing his eyes feeling good. "Choke me? Is that even a thing?.....no I'm scared..." He said smiling sheepishly. 'what an idiot now you sounded like a chicken! Man up Sunghoon! Be dominant!' he thought as he felt embarrassed again.

"Then you choke me.....don't worry i am informed on how to do it right...." You said as you took off his dark blue sweater. You lean down to kiss his chest down his stomach. You went back to lightly pinch his nipples and to suck on them. You gaze up to look at his expressions. He furrowed his thick eyebrows upwards, and you can tell he was controlling his moans by breathing heavily.

You know your boyfriend isn't very vocal at all, which you don't mind since his groaning is what turn you on the most. However I think it's time to hear him scream your pretty name.

After sucking his nipples, you kiss and lick down his chest down to his small abs, going even down to reaching the edge of his Calvin Klein underwear. You unzip his pants pulling them down. You saw the big bulge.

' I've missed you....' you sillily thought.

You looked up to see your blushing boyfriend. This will be the first time receiving a blow job from you. You grasp the bulge roughly but not too much just squeezing it as if it was some type of squeaky toy.

Sunghoon yelped of pleasure at the sudden contact of your hands attacking him.

As you were done teasing him you pull down his underwear and his length pop out freely. You not having experience with decided to pretend it's a popsicle you're sucking on. Your hands grabbing on the uncover parts of length rubbing there.

" Mmmm~..........ahhh...Y/n" he hissed your name, his eyebrows furrowing together and bitting down his bottom lip telling you his feeling really good. You know he is trying to control his moans but now his starting not help it.

You suck harder and bobbed your head repeatingly, his length almost touching the bottom of your throat. His length twitch in your mouth. Does that mean his close to cum?

" Fuck! Y/n~.…...ahhh!" He moan out loud grasping your messy long hair between his long thin fingers making you bobbed your head harder as he thrust his hips against your mouth trying to cum now.

As he did you swallow it all. Sunghoon relax there breathing heavily while closing his pretty eyes. You climbed on top of him and laid on top of his body. You  put an arm beside his pillow and the other hand caressed his face. You breathlessly watch him breath in and breath out.

" You liked that?......" You whispered as you kiss his earlobe. Sunghoon nodded and smiled sheepishly once again. " I loved it ..... So much .... How are you so good?.....I want that everyday before I go to practice..." He chuckled.

You laughed with him. " Sunghoon you make me wanna do so many bad things to you ...." You bit your bottom lip. It is true, you have sexy fantasies you want to make in reality with him, Sunghoon only.

Suddenly he pushed you down without warning you. He straddle you. He put his fingers around your throat and started pressing.

" Same princess.....i also want to do bad things to you baby girl...." He said darkly with a rougher voice. Ooo that really send you to the edge of getting wet.

" Press here...." You guided his thumbs in a certain area of your neck. Sunghoon obey and tighten his grip on your neck making you feel breathless and dizzy but in a good way.

He was making you feel in a certain way you can't explain.

Sunghoon suddenly let's go. His pretty veiny hands roam around your body caressing every inch. He wraps your left leg around his waist caressing your thigh softly. He kisses down your shoulder, down in the middle of your chest. He get close to your right breast, gives you tiny kisses around your hard nipple making you giggle and bit down on your bottom lip. You played with his jet black hair, pulling his locks softly.

He did the same to your other breast, kissing, pinching, sucking on your hard nipple making your core throb. " Ahh~ Sunghoon..... please fuck me already..... please....." You said grinding your hips against his hard length.

Sunghoon without warning slams his length inside you. He spread your legs more for more space for him to go deeper. You pull him down by his neck to kiss him more sensual and passionately. His kiss back with the same passion and sensuality as you making the whole make out session steamy. Everything was so heated, the kiss, him railing you, the sex sounds, moans, and groans coming from you two.

The whole room was like circus once again and you two were wilding crazily. " Fuck~ Hoon~ choke me daddy choke me~!" You said as you were reaching to your big orgasm. Sunghoon once again wrapped his hands around your throat and tighten his grip on you.

" AhhHH~ YEAH! YES! SUNhoOn~ mY......LOve...~" You felt the delicious feeling of your big orgasm and the good feeling of dizziness mixing together intoxicating you of pleasure.

"Ahh~.....I'm close baby.....I'm sooo-......mmm~fuck" he whispered and moan in your ear.

Both of you came together.

Sunghoon suddenly pulls away and laids next to you with heavy breaths. You also felt breathless after going through the rollercoaster of joy. Sunghoon reaches next to you to cuddle up with you. He kisses your forehead and pats your hair softly. He reaches to grab one of your hands and cross his fingers between yours.

You turn around so your naked chest is touching his chest. You took your time to admire his face. " Sunghoon.....I love you..." You sincerely said by heart.

Sunghoon shows his sweet dimples smile and hugs you tightly. " I love you too my pretty princess...."

You lean to kiss him again but stop when you heard the sound of a door closing and Jungwon screaming.  " IM HOME!.......mom can you make me my favorite curry?..."

" Yes son ..... where's your sister by the way?...." Your mother said.

You and Sunghoon looked at each other with horrifying expressions.

" Shit! They're here! Sunghoon hide under my bed now now!" You said not wasting any time. You dressed, fixed your bed, helped Sunghoon dressed and pushed him underneath the bed.

Looking naturally you came out of the room. " Y'all here already? I took a nap....." You said pretending you were slightly sleepy with your messy hair and mascara slightly running down your cheeks.

" Yeah....... Jungwon won the black belt!" Your father said excitedly suddenly giving a tight hug to Jungwon almost suffocating the poor adorable looking boy. Your mother did the same and after a second you did the same to go with flow although you do feel proud for your little brother.

" Ahhhh! I know I won, I shined! Now let me go-" Jungwon said annoyed wiggling himself from them.

" Congrats little bro, you deserve it for being so good at it " you winked at him. Jungwon grins at you and then gives you a pat on your shoulder.

"..…... cologne?....." He suddenly stop patting you as he got close to smell your neck. He widen his eyes unbelievably. " Sunghoon?.... ain't it? Was he here?" He asked you quietly still giving you a " are you serious" kind of look.

" He did.....he came by to give me the homework i made him do for me" you chuckled to yourself. " Then I thanked by giving him a hug.......hey by the way how do you know it's his?..." You asked now trying to mind of change the subject.

" You forgot he is also my friend? .....gosh Y/n when are you going to wake up! " Jungwon whined as he went to his own room.

You saw your parents where no longer in the kitchen or living room. You immediately run to your room.

" Sunghoon! Baby!" You whispered as you crouched down to help him pull up from the bed. "They're all out of sight! Leave now!" Sunghoon nodded, after getting out, he gives you a slow passionate kiss making you melt from it and just wrapped your arms around his neck.

Sunghoon pull away with a smirking grin. " You're sooo in love with me" he said before kissing your forehead. Quickly you check again.

"Come now!" You whispered and held his hand pulling him towards the entry door. " Goodnight love!" You said.

" Good night my lovely princess......gosh this feel like Romeo and Juliet...." Sunghoon shook his head before walking away. You closed the door and leaned against it.

" Oh Sunghoon...." You breath it out while touching your heart.

"Why does the couch smell....like Cologne?....and why are you standing there looking dumbly? And why is there food on the table?" Jungwon pass by and stare at you. You widen your eyes open. You forgot to put all the food away!

" and why don't you stop asking questions! The door was for me, I did have a movie marathon before taking a nap, oh and I let my friend Sunghoon sit with me and eat some food-"

" But the food looks untouched!" Jungwon said examining a popcorn curiously and trying it after it.

" oh my god Yang Jungwon just shut up! What do you want to hear from me? That I slept with him or something?..." You acted annoyed. Hopefully he believes in you cuz baby Jungwon can be quiet an observer and a doubter.

" So you did slept with him?" Suddenly gives you his signature Lenny Face. " MOM-" he screamed.

" JUNGWON! JUNGWON! what's wrong with you! I'm not like that! Gross! Me inviting some boy to sleep with in my own house is just simply disgusting and disrespectful......kid what do you even know you're just a child just go play Pokemon with Sunoo and Riki...." You pushed him away and sat on the couch grabbing some chips.

After a minute.

" Y/n! Your room smells like Sunghoon! I'm finally telling mom and dad!" You widen your eyes and jump from the couch. " Listen here you Jaden Smith wannabe! I didn't do shit you know Sunghoon can be very mischievous! That boy started messing around my house!"

" I know.....but his cologne is all over you as well THE couch and YOUR BEDROOM!......but not in any other area...... coincidence? " Jungwon smiled feeling proud in bothering you.

" Yang Jungwon go to hell....." You said getting into your room leaving a smirking Jungwon, leaning against the frame of his door with his arms crossed over his chest, feeling so proud in making you mad. Now he really pissed you off....but why though?.... You're not sure if he really believes you did anything naughty with your Sunghoon but you still gotta convince him you don't have anything to do with your secretly boyfriend.

___________________________________________________

×Text Messages×

❄️SUNGHOON ⛸️❣️

Hey princess did anything weird happen today?

YOU

Besides me and you had a great time together today... 🤔 Actually yes! Jungwon is already suspecting about us! But don't worry daddy imma convince him there is nothing btw us 😉😏🙈🙊💦👅😋

❄️SUNGHOON ⛸️❣️

D-DADDY?!!

Umm...ok babe....you really good at convincing! Like the way you convince me to do your hw....and to do you....🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥-

YOU

Park Sunghoon......you better stop~~~🥵🥵🙊🥵🥵🙊

❄️SUNGHOON ⛸️❣️

Hewhew you started it princess 😉😏

Anyway goodnight tomorrow i got dance practices so gotta sleep early.....have nice dreams about me😘😘

YOU

You mean wet-skskskskss ok my baby my prince goodnight and have hot dreams about me😏😘😉🔥

❄️SUNGHOON ⛸️❣️

Ok why are we so dirty!? 🤔🙈 anyway

I Love You ♥️

YOU

Idk love were meant to be like this together 💖

LOVE YOU BABY💕

___________________________________________________

[asmo-baby5]

Asking First

MC asks the brother and undateables on a date first before they can.

Lucifer-

•is very pissed MC asked first because now he somehow has to relinquish control over the date to them.

•His pride is seriously hurt because how dare a human ask him on a date first?

•he was planning on asking them at the same time, he was just too slow....

•stays cool and composed as he obviously accepts their offer.

•has to play one of his records at full volume in his room later to settle down.

•Despite somehow coming to terms with the fact MC planned everything and wouldn't tell him a single detail, he takes charge of the date.

•he covers all bills and leads the way despite the fact he technically shouldn't know where MC was headed next.

•he's the right hand of Lord Diavolo for a reason, he knows everything.

Mammon-

•"Hey now, Human, the Great Mammon is supposed to ask ya first!"

•outwardly pissy and upset MC asked him first.

•inwardly freaking out because MC ASKED HIM FIRST.

•Unfortunately his bright red blush causes all of his sharp words to become dull.

•MC finds it incredibly endearing he's so upset they asked first.

•they still take complete control and won't tell Mammon a thing about the date until the day of.

•the anticipation drives him crazy and he goes on a spending spree right before to blow off some anxiety.

•gets in trouble with Lucifer and almost has to miss the date, but is granted permission to go because MC stood up for him.

•is still incredibly pissy they won't tell him anything but is incredibly into the secrecy.

Levi-

•A mess.

•Just a complete stuttering and blushing mess.

•"theres no way youd want to go out with a yucky shut-in Otaku like me."

•will try to shut down the idea entirely because he believes MC is making fun of him.

•immediately changes his mind when MC gets upset he'd even think of them like that.

•has to know every little detail of the date so he can mentally prepare.

•MC is very supportive and gives him every detail he asks for, most times more than one.

•he is on edge in the days leading up to the date and can't sit still the day of.

•can't game cause he can't sit still that long and can't watch anime cause he can't focus on the words.

Satan-

•Loves the idea.

•The two normally alternate who prepares the date anyway so nothing gets boring or predictable.

•he has absolutely no problem with MC asking first either.

•fully trusts them to prepare an entertaining and productive day for the two of them.

•spends the days leading up to it trying to reason out where MC could be planning on going.

•never ever gets it right because MC knows what he's thinking and if he had managed to get it right they will change it last minute to keep him on his toes.

•he adores them for making sure to keep him engaged yet docile for the entire day.

Asmo-

•He is, of course, used to being asked on dates all the time, but its actually the first time MC has ever asked him first.

•its an understatement to say he's elated.

•offers to help plan the date.

•pouts when MC insists it is a day where they will completely treat him and he is not allowed to treat them.

•spends the days leading up to the date trying to convince MC to let him pamper them too.

•they keep refusing.

•he decides to make the time after the date ends his time to pamper them because then they can't complain or resist.

•if MC ever takes control of their dates again he always make sure to have something prepared for after to thank them for loving him so fully.

Beel-

•of course!

•could not be more excited!

•does not think much of MC asking first until he realizes that their dates usually consist of major restaurant visits and he is the one to always pay because he asks them out first.

•frets every single day up to the date because he doesn't want MC to spend so much money on him but he also doesn't want to butt into their date plans and make them mad.

•he tries to eat more a few days before so he'll maybe eat less on the day of.

•he even almost enlists Belphie to sneakily check MC's wallet and make sure they have enough grimm to cover the large bills they will inevitably have.

•almost cries from relief when he finds out MC had a major savings account filled with extra grimm from their part time job. It had more than enough to cover his many large meals.

Belphie-

•its not like its the first time, he rarely asks first anyway.

•MC's dates are always the best, even if they are very similar each time.

•they know exactly what he likes and knows that he doesn't tend to like a lot of change so they stick with what works.

•almost always an evening date so he can sleep all day and maybe have some energy for it.

•evening dates also let's them both fall asleep against each other without being scolded for sleeping so early.

•the date is never too far from home so whoever fell asleep first (more often than not that being Belphie) can be carried back without exerting too much energy themself.

Diavolo-

•too excited.

•can hardly contain himself and almost kills MC in a bone crushing bear hug from his excitement.

•he finally had a free day and spending that day with his favorite human ever sounded amazing.

•and he didnt need to prepare anything for it at all?

•perfection.

•will be a ball of sunshine for the whole time leading up to it so MC wouldn't change their mind.

•works extra fast and hard so he can get all of his work done in preparation for the date.

•overworks himself and the date ends up being MC taking care of him all day and cuddling with him all night.

•he's upset they couldn't go anywhere, but he got to spend the day with MC regardless so he isn't too upset.

Barbatos-

•is unsure at first.

•he is way too busy to allow himself to indulge in a fantasy.

•also feels horrible if someone else is taking care of him instead of the other way around anyway.

•MC insists they will keep it very low-key so he can still do necessary work as it comes up but still spend time with them.

•he reluctantly agrees to this.

•is pleasantly surprised when it turns out MC had spent a month learning from Luke so they could bake him his favorite cake and brew his favorite tea just the way he liked.

•it was just a small tea party in the garden of the Demon Lord's castle, but it felt like a magical excursion because of what MC had pulled off for him.

Simeon-

•sweet baby is so excited!

•ask him out on a date first and he will literally melt because that means MC loves him back.

•like Satan, he will leave everything to MC because he trusts them.

•is pretty calm leading up to the date because he has full confidence in them and has full faith that this date will do nothing but build their relationship.

•he is a perfect gentleman and will open doors and pull out chairs.

•he offers to take a commemorative photo for them but doesn't save it correctly so MC takes an even better candid shot that is sure to make the two of them laugh and reminisce later down the line.

•He refuses to let MC pay for everything but MC refuses to let him pay so they compromise and split all bills on the date.

Solomon-

•"you think I'd go out with you?"

•is a complete little shit about it to hide his embarrassment at MC asking him first.

•freaks out when they take him seriously and start to walk away.

•"wait no, of course I will."

•he's just a bit of a control freak and would hate leaving all preparations to them.

•seriously, MC cannot prepare anything without him being right behind their shoulder and either nodding or correcting the plans.

•the date just cannot remain a surprise when Solomon is literally helping to plan it all.

•MC doesn't really mind though because he looks really cute when he gets all serious about something.

•he gets very serious about almost everything when it comes to them so they get to see his cute face very often.

•they go to the human world to make sure the brothers wouldn't follow them and bother their date.

•stay in the human world for a few days and just find complete peace being in the other's presence.

[musette22]

Local museum volunteer Chris explaining all the items and history facts to teacher Sebastian and his 20 kids on a school trip or to single dad Sebastian and his twins (one who is really into it and ask a lot of "but why?" And the other one who just sticks his fingers up his nose and yawns lmao)

Okay so I was just on a walk and I started thinking about this ask again (I am so so so sorry for how long it took me to reply to this, I suck wow) because I couldn’t get that new pic of Seb looking like a literal DILF out of my head, but I couldn’t remember the specifics so what came out is slightly different from what you suggested but not much – hope you still like it (I personally screamed into my fist multiples times while thinking about this – I’m furious at how cute this little scenario is, thank you so so much for this!)

Disclaimer: I literally wrote this just now so it’s unbeta’d and probably riddled with nonsense, but I hope you guys like nonetheless!  <3

*********************

“Hi, guys! Welcome to the Concord Museum. My name is Chris and I’ll be your guide this afternoon.”

Chris eyes the little family – a father and two young kids – standing in front of him in the entrance hall of the bite-sized museum, then makes a show of looking around the otherwise empty hall. “Seems like it’s a quiet one today, so you’ll have me all to yourself!”

The father smiles, his sparkling, blue-grey eyes crinkling in the corners in a way that Chris shouldn’t be thinking of as ‘adorable’, but does nonetheless.

“Fantastic,” the man says warmly. “It’s nice to meet you, Chris. This is Margot,” – he gestures to the girl of about eight standing next to him – “and this little guy here is David,” he adds, lightly bouncing the three or four-year-old, curly haired boy on his hip. David gives Chris a wide eyed look before promptly burying his face in his father’s neck. “He’s a little shy,” the dad says fondly.

“That’s fine,” Chris tells them. With a smile, he ducks his head to try and catch David’s eye. “You’re not the only one, kiddo. I’m a little shy myself sometimes, you know.”  

“I’m not shy,” Margot pipes up.

“No,” her dad agrees with a chuckle, “you certainly are not.”

Chris turns his eyes back to their father’s face. “And your name..?”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the man says, “I’m Sebastian.” He holds out his hand for Chris to shake, warm and dry with long, elegant fingers that fit nicely against Chris’s own, studier ones.

Sebastian, Chris thinks. Perfect name for a perfect guy. The term ‘DILF’ flashes unbidden through Chris’s mind – wildly inappropriate, given the circumstances, but oh so accurate. Sebastian has a sweet, charming smile, incredible bone structure, and dark, wavy hair, swept up in a quiff-like style that manages to make him look both sophisticated and a little boyish at the same time. There’s a hint of grey at his temples as well as in his beard that has Chris placing him at maybe two or three years older than himself.

“New York?” Chris guesses, as he reluctantly lets go of Sebastian’s hand.

“That’s right,” Sebastian nods. “Well, formerly, anyway. We just moved to the area, actually.”

“Oh, really? What brought you all the way out here?”

Sebastian runs a hand through his hair; a nervous habit, perhaps. “Oh, um. My ex-wife got a job in Boston last year, and I didn’t want to be too far from her and the kids, so I decided to follow suit. Only moved down here last month. This is my first full weekend with these guys at my new place, so I thought I’d take them out to do something cultural, learn a little about the local history, y’know?”

“Well, we’ve got plenty of that here,” Chris assures him. “In fact,” he adds sheepishly, “that’s kinda all we've got.”

Sebastian laughs, causing Chris’s brain to glitch, which is probably why the next thing that comes out of his mouth is – “Divorce, huh? I’m sorry, that must’ve been tough.”

When Sebastian doesn’t answer straight away, Chris wants to kick himself for running his big, stupid mouth. As usual. ���I’m sorry,” he apologizes hastily. “That’s none of my business. Just tryin’ to make small talk, but I always seem to forget I’m really bad at that. Just forget I said anything.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Sebastian assures him, flashing Chris a quick smile. “Thank you. These things are never easy, but it’s better this way, you know?”

“They’re not fighting or anything,” Margot chimes in again, from a few feet below. “Mommy and daddy only got divorced because mommy’s a girl and daddy likes boys better than girls. Right, daddy?"

Well. Chris tries not to be too obvious about glancing at Sebastian’s face to see his reaction to that bombshell his daughter just dropped, but he’s not sure how well he manages.

Sebastian closes his eyes for a moment as if praying for strength. “That's right, sweetheart,” he says with a grimace. “But I'm sure Chris doesn't need to hear about all that."

Chris begs to differ – he’s actually extremely interested in hearing about all this, but before he has a chance to say anything in reply, Margot squares her jaw and crosses her football jersey-clad arms.

“Why not?” she asks defiantly. “There’s nothing wrong with that. Some girls just like girls and some boys like boys, it’s totally normal. It’s not prola- probu –" She sighs in frustration, looking up at her dad, who’s watching her with something like pride on his handsome face.

“Problematic?”

“Yeah,” Margot concurs, “not probametic.”  

Chris hums in agreement. “It’s not, you’re absolutely right. I’ll tell you what,” he tells her conspiratorially, “I happen to like boys better, too.”

Margot’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “You do?”

“I do.”

Suddenly, Margot’s little face lights up, her shrewd eyes flitting to her dad’s face for a second, then back to Chris. “Do you like my dad?”

“Margot,” Sebastian cuts in, a hint of exasperation in his tone. “That’s enough, honey.” When he tuns back to Chris to give him an apologetic look, Chris can’t help but notice the slight blush coloring his cheeks. “I’m sorry about that. She’s gotten it into her head that she needs to find me the perfect man ASAP, or I’ll waste away or something.”

Chris laughs, throwing back his head in genuine mirth. “Don’t worry about it. It’s fine,” he assures them, then claps his hands together to change the precarious subject. “So, who’s ready to learn a little bit about what living in Concord was like over a hundred years ago?”

******

Chris always enjoys volunteering at the museum – it’s nice to give something back to the community that’s been his home for his entire life, and to chat to visitors from all over who have come to visit the land of Little Women, among other things – but what Chris likes best is when he gets to show kids around the place. Some of them need to be won over (after all, a dusty old museum isn’t quite as exciting as a trip to Disney World), but others are instantly captivated by the strange objects and old-timey atmosphere – Sebastian’s kids, fortunately, seem to fall in the latter category.

There’s one room in particular that’s an invariably a favorite with kids – the one that houses the old children’s toys. Trains, dolls and dollhouses, most of them made from wood, all arranged in a colorful parade, with a few screens set up in front of the glass display cases on which kids can watch animations of the toys being used. To Chris’s delight, Margot and David are both immediately taken with the display, David pressing his nose against the glass while Margot fires off question after question that Chris answers patiently and to the best of his ability.

“You sure know a lot about them,” Sebastian remarks, not without a hint of admiration, once Chris has finished explaining the mechanics of the miniature train set.

“Ah.” Chris rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, I guess you could say I’m something of a toy enthusiast myself. I’ve actually got a carpentry workshop – that’s my real job,” he explains. “I’m just a volunteer here – and I dabble in some toy making sometimes, too.”

Sebastian’s eyes widen. “You’re kidding. I used to want to be a toy maker when I was a kid, you know,” he says wistfully. “Probably just saw Pinocchio one too many times, but it just seemed like the best job in the world to me, at the time.”

“It kinda is,” Chris grins at Sebastian, getting lost in his dancing grey eyes for a moment. “So what did you end up doing for a living, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I’m a journalist. I love it, don’t get me wrong. It’s enriching, challenging. But there’s just something about working with your hands, creating something tangible, something useful…”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Chris nods. He bites his lip, hesitating for just a moment before deciding to bite the bullet. “Hey, I don’t know if you guys have plans after this, but my shift ends in a few minutes. I live pretty close, maybe a ten minute drive – if you want, I could show you my workshop? Maybe the kids can try out some of the things I’ve been working on, see if they’re actually any fun to play with?”

There’s an excited collective gasp from the kids, both of them immediately turning big, hopeful eyes on their father. “Oh, daddy,” Margot pleads, tugging on his sleeve. “Can we go see the workshop, pleaaase?”  

Chris tries to ignore the way his stomach drops when Sebastian visibly hesitates.

“I don’t know, guys.” Sebastian looks back at Chris. “I don't want to intrude. It’s almost dinner time on a Saturday. I’m sure you’ve got plans, maybe with your partner..?”

Oh, Chris thinks, chest expanding with hope. He shakes his head. “No partner,” he says, holding Sebastian’s gaze. “Just a dog.”

“A dog?” Margot squeals. “Oh my god, daddy, he’s got a dog. We have to go.”

Sebastian chuckles, rolling his eyes. "They've been hounding me about a dog for months, excuse the pun. I want one too, but I'm just not sure I'm home enough.”

Chris nods sympathetically. “Yeah, it can be tricky if you work full-time, but there’s usually a solution for this kind of thing, in my experience.”

“What’s your dog’s name?” Margot interrupts, bouncing excitedly on the balls of her feet.

“He’s called Dodger,” Chris tells her, unable to keep the pride out of his voice as he talks about his beloved, four legged-rescue.

From Sebastian’s other side, a small voice suddenly joins in. “Like the one from Oliver?” asks David. His big, brown eyes are wide as he stares up at Chris.

“That’s right,” Chris confirms, dropping to his haunches to level the playing field a little. “Exactly like the one from Oliver. You like that movie, huh?”

David nods, looping one arm around one of his dad’s long legs while clearly fighting the urge to hide behind him completely. “It’s my favorite,” he mutters, then quickly sticks his thumb in his mouth to signal the end of the conversation.

“Really?” Chris asks, beaming at him. “It’s my favorite, too!”

David actually smiles at that, doing an excited little wiggle on the spot. “Daddy, can we go see Dodger, please?” he asks his dad, not bothering to remove his thumb from his mouth.

From his spot on the floor, Chris looks up Sebastian too, probably looking just as hopeful as the kids are – maybe even more so.

Smiling, Sebastian shakes his head. “Sure, buddy,” he laughs, ruffling David’s hair. “How could I resist all these cute little faces, huh?”

There’s a chorus of cheers from the kids that gives Chris a much-needed moment to recover from the euphoria of hearing Sebastian call him cute. Well, sort of.

“Alright,” Chris says, getting to his feet again. “I’ll just go grab my things. Meet you guys in the parking lot?”

“Sounds good.”

Chris nods and is about to head in the direction of the staff room, when Sebastian halts him with a hand on his arm. Chris stops in his tracks, swallowing as he tears his gaze away from Sebastian’s elegant hand on his bicep, back to his face.

“Thank you,” Sebastian says, giving him a look from under his eyelashes that can only be described as coy. “I really appreciate this, you know.”

Holding Sebastian’s gaze, Chris lifts a hand to cover Sebastian’s with his own, giving it a quick squeeze. “It’s my pleasure,” he replies honestly. “Trust me.”

Smiling, Sebastian bites his lip, no doubt noticing the way Chris’s eyes flicker down to his mouth when he does. “I do.”

Chris’s foolishly romantic heart can’t help but skip a beat.

“See,” Margot says suddenly from beside them, breaking the moment and sounding awfully smug about it, too. “Not prolametic at all.”

Chris barks out a laugh while Sebastian covers his eyes with his hand. “Whatever you do, never have kids.”  

“Oh, I dunno,” Chris chuckles, giving Margot a wink and David’s hair a quick ruffle. “I kinda like yours.”

Sebastian clears his throat. “Alright, guys. Let’s go find your jackets and we’ll go see what Chris has in store for us, huh?”

[bleachbleachbleach]

Do you ever stop and think "Mayuri has a (singular) really really long nail"?

lmao half this post was written before that Szayel ask and half was written after, so apologies is there’s any repetition or disjuncture across the two!!!

I'll be honest, anon, I often forget this detail! In the same way that I often forget that I have a giant full-color picture of Sunflower Mayuri set as one of my other desktop images, right up until I hit a rogue keyboard shortcut and am suddenly transported into his midst:

He's been lurking there for a full year and I am always taken by complete surprise.

I was actually poking around these chapters the other day, and I think what honestly I DO stop and think about is Mayuri's moral compass? Like, the fact that it exists. And I don't mean this in a "he acts like a sick freak but secretly he really cares" kind of way, or even a "he revels in his being a sick freak and doesn't realize he cares until he does" kind of way. The definition of "moral compass" here is absolutely a Mayuri Original Definition. He's totally invested in his various experiments to satiate his own personal agendas, but he actually does more "for the sake of Soul Society" than possibly anyone else, and... does a pretty good job of it? I imagine Soul Society would be less inclined to handwave whatever other shit he's got going on if he weren't, but my point is a weird amount of his time is honestly spent on things that benefit others, offer protection, etc. And again: Mayuri. Not a secret cinnamon roll. But he also can't be flatly read.

He's one of the few captains who seems willing to go toe-to-toe with Yamamoto about some of Yamamoto's leadership decisions--notably because he thought Yamamoto's Quincy genocide wasn't genocidal enough, er, but he also later insinuates that he disagrees with Yamamoto's conception of honor/patriotism--that the Gotei 13 serve 'til death, and that if you can't, then you should kill yourself. (Makes sense, given that Urahara drags him out of the Den of Maggots, so Mayuri's seen the fruits of this particular domestic policy first-hand.) He and Yamamoto are both dudes with often shitty opinions, but I think it makes them both more interesting that they are different shitty opinions.

I don't think his disagreement on that count is purely out of self-preservation/valuing self over others, either. Weirdly enough, I think he actually likes Soul Society and its observable phenomena (e.g. his colleagues), as long as it's not touching or interfering with whatever else he's got going on. He probably could have just killed dead Kensei/dead Rose/Matsumoto (and Hitsugaya, too), and that would have been a lot easier, but he went through the trouble of incapacitating/podding them. I mean, the man reads the SC cover to cover for fun. Sure, that's data, but let's be real--70% of those articles have got to be pure drivel.

And also like--I find Mayuri's fight with zombie!Hitsugaya extremely upsetting. I do not enjoy it at all. It feels horrible. But Mayuri doesn't even seem to enjoy it either? In the lead-up to it, he makes like three separate references to his own kind heart that are definitely not to be taken at face value, and talks a lot about the thrill of victims writhing against you, and how pleased he is to be able to test a bunch of new drugs on Hitsugaya, but then you get this face:

And it's not like he particularly likes Hitsugaya. (In fact, for reasons unknown, in the Bount arc Mayuri very specifically singles Hitsugaya out to be someone he Does Not Like! I imagine that as the Gotei 13 interacts with each other more often post-ryoka/Aizen, Hitsugaya is just more annoying to him. "Yes, we re-grew Hinamori's organs. Of course we did a good job! Get out of here, stop helicopter-captaining, ffs go micromanage your own division--")

I'm not saying that face is indicative of compassion. But he's not having all the fun he said he was going to.

I enjoy that a character like Mayuri can be humanized--here meaning “made complex” I guess--without that act suggesting that it should be attended with an assumption of goodness, or mercy, or redemption.

--------------------------------------------------------

@ippoddity here, jumping onto this post~

I too, have Sunflower Mayuri as my desktop background (but my desktop is much more cluttered than @whipplefilter’s, so I won’t be showing a picture of it).

I didn’t really give much thought to Mayuri’s long fingernail either, except to think “Boy, that’s kind weird, but this guy’s whole vibe is creepy so it fits.” But then you got me to thinking about it more, and I started doing some digging. My first thought was “maybe this long fingernail is like the one that all those old Asian men have??” But it turns out that’s usually the pinky nail. Mayuri’s long fingernail is the middle finger of his right hand, and from what I can tell after looking at hundreds of panels of him, is that this is consistent throughout the series (someone please correct me if I’m wrong). I think you can see his nails pretty well in these shots:

What’s really standing out to me here isn’t just his long nail, but the fact that all his others are so short?? My initial impression was just that he had painted his nails half black/half white (kinda going along with his face), but on close-up here, it seems like his nails are actually cut really short. That just seems incredibly painful to me, and the only people I know that have nails this short are habitual nail-biters. So maybe he’s a nail biter? Which leads me to wonder why he leaves that middle nail on his right hand so long…

This is just a speculation, but you know those reset buttons on certain electronics that can only be reached with a needle or unfolded paperclip? I feel like a lot of older electronics were like this. ANYWAY, given all the modifications that Mayuri has given himself, I think this long nail is probably his version of a reset button tool. There’s no way he doesn’t have one somewhere on him, which he needs to hit for a hard reset when he messes something up. It’s gotta be a long and thin tool that can hit a reset button, and a fingernail is the perfect choice! It’s easily accessible, in fact, it’s already on his hand!

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that Mayuri canonically takes off his makeup every night and reapplies it every day. We know that underneath it all, he’s a (somewhat) normal looking shinigami. And it seems like it would be kinda inconvenient to have that long nail all the time… So I think it might also be a stick-on nail??

[secretsickysideblog]

dumb lucky

"“you know my favorite color?” bucciarati slurs, brows furrowing. “anyway, it also came in purple, and black, and ivory, so I bought all of them, and uh…” “that’s cute,” bucciarati smiles, and abbacchio nearly dies at the way he looks while smiling unabashedly, weak as it may be right now. “you know my favorite color.”'

a mission takes bucciarati and abbacchio all the way to a town in piedmont where bucciarati finds himself fever-riddled in the midst of a snowstorm. abbacchio finds silver linings.

(sicktember day 1 - fever)

read under the cut!

It’s only tradition for things to go wrong for Passione. 

Well, perhaps that’s a lie--normally, they get dumb lucky. But this means that when things go wrong, they go incredibly wrong in multiple ways at once. It’s only fair for the amount of times the gang has narrowly escaped death by the skin of their teeth. And Abbacchio is grateful that neither he nor Bucciarati are running the risk of death right now; it could be much, much worse.

But this mission could certainly be going much better. After all, Abbacchio never thought he’d be buying fever reducers in a little town in Piedmont, Italy as a part of the job of Neapolitan Mafioso. He hadn’t expected to be led all the way to Piedmont in the first place. 

Easy mission my ass, Giovanna, he laments internally, rolling his eyes as he compares the prices between on and off-brand fever reducers. Abbacchio doesn’t usually bother to buy things like this, but Bucciarati’s fever--yes, a fever that had managed to swell up to a whopping 39 degrees overnight while on a mission--definitely needs to be treated. 

He settles on both bottles, and he grabs a pack of water bottles, too. Abbacchio peruses the shelves, considering what else Bucciarati might need. He’d rather not come trudging out through this snow again if he could help it; it started coming down last night and hasn’t shown any sign of stopping since. He grabs another thermometer, a can of soup, and he’s about to head to the register when he spots something else that catches his eye.

It’s a large blanket in blue--Bucciarati’s favorite shade of blue (not that Abbacchio bothers to remember things like his Capo’s favorite color), and god, does it look soft. His gaze wanders to the window. Snow falls in clumps, kicked up into a white mist by the wind, and Abbacchio could shiver just looking at it. He does shiver thinking about the short walk back to the motel through that storm. 

Abbacchio sighs, runs his fingertips over the inviting fleece. A blanket couldn’t hurt. 

He grabs it and tucks it under the arm without the basket only to spot that there’s another of the same in purple. And another, in ivory? Abbacchio isn’t someone tempted by luxuries, but blankets in the cold seem like a necessity. 

So he picks up both. Because Bucciarati has to sweat out the fever anyway, right? He’s too out of it to be angry, anyway. 

Abbacchio lugs the three heavy blankets and the basket of various other supplies to the register, fishing around in his pocket for his wallet. The cashier looks over his selection as she rings up and bags each object, smiling fondly. 

“Taking good care of someone, I see.”

Abbacchio huffs, lips quirking upward to a ghost of a smile. “Yeah, I guess I am. It’s about time he lets me.” 

“These blankets are on sale, you know. Buy one and the other is half-off,” and, in an expertly-crafted manner of egging him into it, the cashier finishes her sell with, “Everyone loves a good blanket. Perfect to cuddle up under.”

Abbacchio doesn’t anticipate growing the balls to ‘cuddle-up’ with Bucciarati, but something about the idea sways him into it. He stares at the blanket shelf in consideration for a long moment before giving in and grabbing a fourth, this one in black. 

The cashier is, clearly, proud of herself. Abbacchio can’t find it in himself to get as annoyed by this as usual. He did fall for her marketing scheme, after all. Can’t bitch about it if he gave in. 

Altogether, he walks out of the store with five bags slung on his arms, four of which are occupied by heavy fleece and tied off to avoid any of the snowfall. His boots feel like weights as he trudges through planes of muddy white, wrapping his scarf tighter around his neck. His hands are freezing--he wishes he’d bought gloves. 

When he finally returns to the motel room, Bucciarati is curled up on the bed. He looks just about the same as he did when Abbacchio left which is, admittedly, like shit. His hair, lacking its typical braid, fell in uneven layers wherever it wasn’t sticking to sweat-soaked skin. The only real color in his face is across his cheeks in bright, splotchy red, and though his eyes are closed now, they’ve been glazed over all morning. 

Abbacchio shakes his head in disapproval, wondering how Bucciarati managed to just ignore this, because he knows damn well it didn’t just spark overnight. He must’ve been feeling at least vaguely unwell before they’d embarked on this (unexpectedly) lengthy journey. Abbacchio tells himself, as he has every time he starts thinking about how his Capo sucks at self-care, that he’ll just bitch at him about it later; criticizing a sick person is mean, and besides, there’s not enough cognizance in his fever-addled head to comprehend annoyance right now anyway. 

He unties his scarf, shrugs off his coat, and unbags the items on the small coffee table in the room. Bucciarati stirs into half-lucidity, as told by the mix of a groan and a whine that slips from him after a bit of shifting around. Abbacchio looks over to him, seeing his hazy blues blink open, and he immediately grabs the bottle of fever reducers to force down his throat now while he’s just awake enough to swallow and not awake enough to protest.

“Here,” he holds out a bottle of water and two of the pills for Bucciarati to take, which he does after taking a second to process the command. He moves sluggishly, but he manages to get the pills down and put the water bottle on the nightstand. Abbacchio feels his forehead with the back of his hand, frowning at how much he’s burning still.

He goes to pull away. Bucciarati doesn’t let him, grabbing his wrist and holding his hand there.

“What are you doing?”

“Cold,” he mumbles, letting his eyes flutter closed again. “Feels nice.”

Abbacchio opens his mouth, closes it. Thanks the lord above that Bucciarati can’t see the way his cheeks heat up as though he’s contracted a fever. After a moment of hesitance, Abbacchio brings both of his hands up to cup Bucciarati’s cheeks, and the other man sighs contentedly. 

“Well, if it’s cold you want, maybe you should go take a nap in the snow,” Abbacchio jokes.

“Hm,” Bucciarati takes a breath. “Perhaps I should.” 

Abbacchio stares down at Bucciarati. At the way his eyelashes, dark and thick, fan out across his cheeks. At his lips, still pretty and pink and miraculously not very chapped. Even now, sick as a dog, Bucciarati is gorgeous. Abbacchio could watch him forever, he’s sure, but then he realizes how creepy he’s being and abruptly pulls away. Bucciarati’s eyes open with a dejected look to them, and Abbacchio reminds himself that it’s not because it’s his hands, it’s because his hands are cold and Bucciarati is delusional with fever.

“Uh, so, I got you two kinds of fever reducer, and you’re gonna take it whether you like it or not,” Abbacchio starts to say, clearing his throat. Bucciarati hums, half-listening. “I got water. A can of soup, if you get hungry, but since you just woke up I’m sure you’re not yet.”

Bucciarati doesn’t respond, so Abbacchio assumes he’s right. He’ll make him eat something later. 

“And,” Abbacchio unties the other four bags, “I know you’re not looking to get warmer, but fevers have to be sweat out, right? I got blankets. They were on sale.”

Bucciarati almost whines, though it’s quiet, subtle. Abbacchio opts to ignore it, because it does nothing good for his heart. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know, but look, it’s your favorite color,” Abbacchio holds up the blanket in proud display. Bucciarati looks at it, but it’s clear that he’s not fully seeing it. 

“You know my favorite color?” Bucciarati slurs, brows furrowing.

“Anyway, it also came in purple, and black, and ivory, so I bought all of them, and uh…”

“That’s cute,” Bucciarati smiles, and Abbacchio nearly dies at the way he looks while smiling unabashedly, weak as it may be right now. “You know my favorite color.” 

Abbacchio takes the tags off the plush fabric and chucks it at Bucciarati. Bucciarati, as expected, makes no move to catch it. It takes him a minute to slip the fleece off of his head and onto his lap. This process is repeated four more times as a mountain of plush fabric piles up on the bed--the singular bed, which Abbacchio would be incredibly nervous about if this was a year ago, but they’ve been stuck in the ‘unfortunate’ one-bed scenario too many times for him to care anymore. 

“This is...so many,” Bucciarati murmurs, staring down at the pile. He runs his thumb along the hem of the blue one. “They are soft, though.”

“I don’t know if you can feel how cold it is in here, much less out there,” Abbacchio gestures towards the storm just beyond the windows, “but we needed them. I don’t know how long we’re gonna be stuck here, between your fever and the bastard we’re after.”

Bucciarati nods, absently petting the blankets. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Falling ill,” Bucciarati says it like it’s the most obvious reason to apologize in the world. “We’re stuck here. It’s my fault.”

Abbacchio rolls his eyes. “Stop apologizing for things you can’t control.”

Bucciarati looks like he wants to protest, but then his expression turns confused as if his own thought process doesn’t make sense to him anymore. Abbacchio snorts at the sight and shakes his head before climbing into bed beside the other man and urging him to lay back down.

“I’m all sweaty.”

“I don’t care,” Abbacchio pulls one of the many blankets around them up to his shoulders, and another about halfway above that. He lets Bucciarati kick the others aside. “You’re warm, and I’m cold. I’m finding silver linings.”

Bucciarati chuckles a little. If he were any more coherent, he’d make a joke about Abbacchio’s usual pessimistic cynicism being an act; the latter is almost grateful, at that thought, for the fever. The wind howls outside as the storm picks up. It’s definitely not an ideal situation, but it could be much worse.

Bucciarati turns to nuzzle his face into the crook of Abbacchio’s neck. Tentatively, Abbacchio wraps an arm around him.

Maybe this was just dumb luck in disguise. 

[summonerscenarios]

So, mc adopting at least one of each of the Child mobs, how would that go?

IT MAY BE 4AM BUT THAT'S NEVER STOPPED ME BEFORE LETS DO SOME MF HCS.

Sadly I was only able to work on two of the mob kiddos as I didn't want this to get too long but I still hope its okay~!

Also just a heads up a lot of this is a pure waffle of information based on my own interpretations of the mobs so here's hoping I did a good job with them lmao.

---------

It wouldn’t have been the first time you’d ended up inadvertently adopting someone, nor will it be the last knowing your luck. It’s not like you intentionally do anything to draw people to you, it just so happened that the things that you did and situations you got wrapped up in led to you getting to know all kinds of people in the process. And those people saw you in all kinds of ways - most saw you as friends, others saw someone else in you, more than a few made no attempts to hide their blatant flirting - and, rarely, a few would even see you as a role model,a mentor or parental figure to look up to.

You honestly have no idea why, after all, it’s not as though you go out of your way to make particularly responsible decisions (if anything, you get yourself in enough trouble that you’d imagine you’re anything but a role model) but a lot of the younger transients and students seem to flock towards your presence, looking for comfort, advice, or just someone who respects them. At first it was just the younger members of your guild that you technically took under your wing - as the Guildmaster you assumed it was only natural to look out for them, and you’d long gotten used to protecting Agyo and Kijimuna, wanting to make sure that the only thing they had to worry about was having the chance to be kids rather than getting dragged into the Guild’s app-based affairs. It’s not like responsible parental figures are easy to come by in this world of app-battles and fighting, so that’s perhaps why when you start taking a more protective, nurturing role with the younger ones that more of them begin popping up.

Surprisingly, the ghosts are some of the first mob children that you noticed began flocking towards you. Roaming spirits are unusual but certainly not rare, and it honestly breaks your heart a little to see so many young ghosts lingering around in the unexplored corners of the city, searching for one thing or another. Things feel...off, for a while before you can pin down the issue - you start feeling as though you’re being watched when you’re in the guildhouse by someone other than your teammates, and when your attempts to shake off the uneasy feeling doesn’t work, you decide to bring it up to your fellow Guild members in case it’s someone trying to spy. You want to make sure it’s not someone who can bring danger to the guild, but you don’t have much of a chance to set up a search of the building when the D-evils come tottering into your field of view, screeching up a storm and motioning towards an otherwise unassuming corner of the window.

Turns out you weren’t the only one noticing the other presence, as Shiro’s D-evils seem to have picked up on it to - and when your attention snaps over to the window to see what they’re pointing to you barely catch a glimpse of the flickering figure of a ghost child as they disappear from view. From that point on you start spotting the child more often - he’s shy or wary, always lingering someone just out of the corner of your eye but never getting any closer almost like he’s afraid. He seems to have taken an interest in you though, especially whenever the younger guild members come around to spend time at the guild, and it isn’t long before you notice that he’s intently watching the way you watch over and care for the kids of the guild - he looks almost sad in these instances, but never dares to get any closer and disappears as soon as you turn to look at him. Over time it becomes almost normal to have a resident ghost at the guild (though Agyo still shudders at the mention of ghosts despite having seen the kid plenty of times since arriving). He seems to be more at ease after a while of watching you, and things finally come to a head one day when you’re playing videogames with Hanuman and the other kids, noticing that the little ghost has wandered far closer than he’d ever done in the past, watching the small screen setup on the floor with an avid interest that seems far happier than the forlorn looks he’d had before. Taking a chance you tilt your head to look over at the ghost child, motioning him to come over and join; he disappears for a moment, startled, but right as you start to worry you may have scared the kid off he rematerializes, inching hesitantly closer and closer till he’s hovering beside the rest of your group, eyes fixed to the characters on screen with a child-like wonder.

You aren’t quite sure how this ended up with you adopting the ghost child yourself. It’s just one day you were talking about how you were pretty much adopted by the teachers at school and how you’d like to pay it forward some day, and the next you were talking about ‘son’ this, and ‘might as well take the kid under your wing’ that - you were practically acting like an impromptu parent for like a fifth of the people you knew anyway, so what was actually adopting a child? Toji had just about choked to death when you’d made the unfortunate decision to announce that fact mid-drink, and Shiro spent more than his fair share of time probing you with the legal questions surrounding a student adopting a child, ghost transient or not. Ryota seems incredibly excited by the idea however, gushing about being an uncle and wondering if your new son can eat and if so what his favorite food is - plenty of questions for a later time.

Ghost is certainly the most clingy of the children you end up adopting, and it’s clear from the get go in the sense that the poor little one is essentially glued to your side from the moment you take the venture to actually adopting him. With few things remaining in the physical world to cling onto, the familial bond is something that the little one cherishes and he absolutely refuses to budge on letting it, and by proxy, you, go. For a while he actually fears you’re going to leave him and take back what you said about protecting him and being a good parent. He of course had parents once, and their lack of presence at his side now paints a tragic picture no matter what way you look at it, so the kids got more than a few attachment issues you need to work through. Ghost doesn’t really talk too much, instead relying on gestures and interacting with things around him to talk to you and others - it takes a little bit to get used to if you’re unfamiliar with some of the gestures but it’s easy to pick up as time goes on.

Definitely one of the more well behaved children of the bunch, given that once you’ve convinced him that you’re not abandoning him he’s dead set on making you proud. He gets antsy when you’re not around, spending most of his time at the guild when you're at classes, but he takes to following Agyo around instead during these times. Agyo’s more than a little startled at first, and is a bit awkward about the whole situation as he processes it, but before long Agyo’s not only getting along with your ghostly son, but he’s also teaching him the ‘lion dog duties’ that he’s been teaching you - you’ll never quite forget walking in to Agyo giving the poor kid a detailed rundown on the upkeep of the guildhouse and all that it pertains.

It was supposed to only be the one child, you swear, but damn if you haven’t got a bleeding heart and a knack for attracting trouble. Word travels around fast about your adoption, and as more people learn about your impromptu push to parenthood people start coming to you for help - namely, kids with nowhere else to go. Maybe it’s your bleeding heart or savior complex, but before long one kid becomes two, and then two becomes three, and soon enough you’ve got four kids on your hands.

There’s no denying that things get a little bit rocky when you start taking in other children. Despite the other kids in the guild, Ghost has technically been the only child up to this point, and with your attention shifting from both him and the other children at once it’s a sudden change - one that you thankfully discussed with him first to make sure he was okay. Even with the okay though, Ghost is more than a little anxious when you bring the second child, a nether sprite, ‘home’, especially because of how loud she is by comparison. Nether sprite is an absolute ball of energy and mischievous to boot, so she more than makes for an interesting parallel to the otherwise quiet Ghost you’ve been taking care of the past few months.

She’s a handful, especially during the first few weeks that she’s settling in - it takes her a while to really start seeing the place as home, and even longer for her to even consider you a parental figure (she’s seen you as more of a babysitter till you proved you were willing to stick around and put the effort in to be a good parent). Once she does settle in however she takes to the place quickly, and, to your surprise, your two kids become thick as thieves. The Nether sprite catches on quickly to how Ghost communicates, and given his penchant to linger around those he’s close to and follow them around she’s more than happy to drag him all over the shop from one activity to another - it’s a surprising development but one you actively encourage. Unfortunately as I mentioned she’s still mischievous, though tones it down from anything too troublesome if it’ll cause you too much grief.

However that hasn’t stopped the amount of times you’ve gotten calls from someone about the kind of trouble you two little ones have wound up getting themselves into - looks like they both picked up your knack for getting intentionally and unintentionally dragged into the weirdest events (sure, it’s fun when you do it, but having your kids doing it only serves to give you grey hairs from the stress.) And things only get crazier once the other kids end up coming along, for both better and worse - but that’s a story for another time.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 01

(Masterpost) (Next Episode)

Warning: This is **FULL **of spoilers, not just for this episode but for the entire series. If you haven’t finished all 50 episodes, please don’t read it! 

Intro: 2020 continues to be much much too much while also being incredibly boring, and Im done with Shen Wei’s Lewks, so now I’m doing a deep meta dive into the Untamed. Let’s roll! 

Prologue: The Battle of Mordor

The Demise of our Protagonist

Unlike some other shows I won’t name, The Untamed kills its suicidal queer protagonist immediately, rather than waiting four seasons, so we know what we're in for. 

This is Wei Wuxian, who is about to yeet himself off of a cliff. He is having a bad day. 

Note: if mouth blood bothers you...C-Drama might not be your thing. 

Reasons for mouth blood: a sampler

Anyway...cliff time

Note: if (fictional) suicide bothers you...C-Drama might not be your thing. 

To be fair there are hardly any suicides in The Untamed. No more than ...five? As long as you don’t count the entire population of the Wen Corporate Headquarters in Yiling or those wall bandits in Qinghe or Madame Yu or all those Wens who supposedly threw themselves into the mud puddle or that Mo guy who broke his own neck. Plus watching Wei Wuxian’s cliff drop several more times from multiple angles. So, you know. Hardly Any Suicides. 

This is Lan Wangji, who is about to have his first losing encounter with physics. He is having a bad day.

In fact, if it is possible to have a worse day than the guy who is currently falling to his death, Lan Wangji is having that.

This is Jiang Cheng, who is feeling extra stabby from this camera angle. He is having a bad day.

Camera operator: why you gotta take it out on me? 

(Much, much more after the cut!)

The Amulet Situation

This is the Stygian Tiger Amulet. Yes, by all means, (Netflix) subtitles, let's use a 12-dollar word, “Stygian,” that every English speaker who is not a Shelley/Byron shipper will have to look up. Let’s not use a normal word like "deathly" or "corrupt" or you know... "Yin" which is clearly what they are saying on screen.

Why does this tiger amulet look like a chameleon crossed with a remora? Wei Wuxian can paint photorealistic bunnies on a flimsy lantern while sitting in a field having distracting teenage lust, but two months of meditating with super magic gets him a tiger that looks like a chameleon. And don’t try telling me this is a traditional-Chinese-art vibe because this jade tiger from frickin 1000 BCE is way more tigerish than Wei Wuxian’s attempt. 

Try harder next time, Wei Wuxian.

This is thousands of cultivators having a battle.  What do you mean, it looks like about 40-60 dudes?

 Any time someone in The Untamed refers to a number of people, it is like when you do your high school play and look off into the wings at nothing and say “Hark, A Ship Approaches!” and everyone’s parents nod indulgently.

Jin Clan Mountain Hunt:

*viewership nods indulgently*

This is Captain Blowhard, over on the right, courtesy name Clan Leader Yao. His job is to talk smack about Wei Wuxian and stick up for whoever is the biggest asshole in any given scene.  

He represents mainstream cultivation-world values so here he is shanking one of his allies to take the deadly amulet of evilness.

The Present Day

Spilling All That Yiling Laozu Tea

Down at the Exposition Tea Shop, the Lan juniors are chilling and listening to Tea Dude tell the story of Yiling Laozu. 

How did they get permission to take this field trip? “Principal Qiran, we want to go downtown to hang out with the local rabble and learn about your favorite person, Wei Wuxian.”

Waiting in the wings is the man with a fan and a plan, Nie Huaisan(g), who is paying tall loot to get these stories told.  

...Why? Is Mo Xuanyu having tea here and listening? Or is Wei Wuxian being summoned back by hearing all this smack being talked about him? *Shrug.*

Gank Your Soul

Drunk flag guy out here talking about spirits. Wikipedia tells me that In one school of Daoist thought, a human being has a collection of physical souls (魄 pò) and ethereal souls (魂 hún). Drunk flag guy is saying “hún ” at the moment. 

The many types of souls don’t translate well into English, where spiritual vocabulary has always been shackled connected to Christian beliefs, and is too limited for this context. So when the subtitles have conversations like “Is it a soul eater? No, no, it’s a spirit taker!” just roll with it. (Speaking of hún, if you have any interest in linguistics, do yourself a favor and go read all the wonderful meta @hunxi-guilai​)

The spirit-carrying flag looks a lot like Raava and Vaatu from Korra which...probably doesn’t mean anything.

The Demise of our Trill Host

Suicide #2 happens about 8 minutes in. 

Mo Xuanyu is that hippie roommate with the annoying wind chimes and bead curtains and blood spatter.

He is super mad at his terrible family and also at Jin Guangyao, who sent him home to his terrible family. I wonder if Fan Man Nie Huaisang influenced Jiggy’s decision-making there. Mo Xuanyu’s choice to die for revenge might be excessive, given how easy it actually is to murder the Mo family.

Being Alive Is Fine I Guess As Long As I Get To Fuck WIth People

Wei Wuxian starts his new life by splashing a little water on his face, which instantly makes his hair go from this

to this. 

He looks at his reflection and wishes he was dead, which--mood--but he gets over it as soon as he finds someone whose day he can fuck up.

And he is ALL in on being crazy. 

OP wishes she had the Wei Wuxian kind of crazy instead of the kind she actually has. 

Meanwhile, this is the sane Mo cousin:

This asshole is wearing one of the best fabrics in the whole show, incidentally. Asshole.

My favorite bit of Wei-Mo craziness is when Wei Wuxian does a meaningless 360 all the way around this dude before ducking in the opposite direction, which is like when I make 4 right turns around a whole block to avoid making a single left across traffic.

Perhaps I Do Miss One Thing In This Life

Wei Wuxian has pining thoughts about Lan Wangji, so he plays WangXian on a fucking blade of grass well enough for Sizhui to recognize it from his dad's guqin jams. 

Wei Wuxian is a better flautist than even Inspector Gadget BeatBoxing Flute Guy (Google it).

Our Many Many Spirit Lure Flags have Lured A Spirit, Oh Shit

Lan Clan has a Plan and Wei Wuxian is a Fan

Having one single lure flag stuck in Wen Ning’s torso caused spirits to basically eat him alive, so to catch one evil spirit, 6 disciples holding flags on the roof plus 8 more flags on the ground seems like a good amount. Wei Wuxian is like “yep, a single one of these will lure every spirit for five miles, carry on, younglings.”

Baxia Does the Heavy Lifting

Wei Wuxian is supposed to kill four people because of this curse situation, and in the course of the series they all die, and he kills exactly zero of them. The curse on Wei Wuxian’s arm should be called the scorekeeper curse. 

Baxia’s spirit pinballs around the Mo clan, rapidly killing three people on Mo Xuanyu’s list plus a couple extras for good measure.  Who's a good blade? Baxia is! Yess you are! Yes you are!

This here is the exact point in the show where your friend, who has listened to you squee about The Untamed for three months and finally agreed to watch it with you, will say “what the fuck am I watching?” and try to get up off the couch. Tackle them! 

This also the point where we all realize that the prosthetic and practical effects in this show were probably not made by the people who made the clothing, because the quality is...variable. The white eyeballs are pretty good, but the glove of death is ridiculous.

Camera operator: why you gotta take it out on me?

While Baxia goes to town on the Mo clan, the Lan Clan babies...watch? And tie up the various victims after they are already goners. 

Narrator: Her son is dead.

Meanwhile, 

Wei Wuxian, you motherfucker. You’ve been alive for like 7 hours and you’re already building a new zombie army. No wonder you don’t want them to call Lan Wangji.

Hanguang-Jun Cut It Up One Time

Lan Wangji shows up and very slowly kicks zombie ass with his guqin. If you are used to Hong Kong action speeds, you will find The Untamed very peaceful.

 All of the baby Lans fan squee up at Lan Wangji like he's the cultivation world's David Bowie and...they're not wrong. Jesus Fuck, he’s charismatic.

Lan Wangji is soft boi when he discovers this murderous sword full of dead-bastard energy, because it reminds him of his true love.

Like the talk about souls, the conversations about the nature of the murderous entity really don’t survive translation into English.

Servant: it’s a ghost! 

WWX: it’s not a ghost, it’s a spirit

Babies: It’s a spirit

LWJ: it’s not a spirit, it’s a [...] ghost

Our Protagonist gets the FOH

Wei Wuxian is soft boi when he sees Lan Wangji, but not so soft that he considers actually, like, sticking around. 

Wei Wuxian is also clueless boi, noting Lan Wangji’s white clothing and thinking, as in the past, that he looks like he’s dressed in mourning. The term he uses is 戴孝, which google tells me means the type of outfit worn by Jiang Yanli after Wen Ning rips her husband’s heart out someone who is in mourning. 

Actually, Wei Wuxian, you dumbass, he is in actual mourning, actually, for you. Dumbass. He probably packed away all of his blue outer robes 16 years ago and only takes them out occasionally to reminisce about that nice date you had on your mountain of corpses. 

On his way out the door Wei Wuxian manages to find a red ribbon for his beautiful hair, so things are looking up. 

Where to go next...hey I know, how about that one haunted mountain with the killer statue, you know, the one that all my executed friends and child came from? That’ll be fun and a great way to put the past behind me!

Episode 02 Restless Rewatch is here!

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Perceptive Blindness

Prompt: hi can i have some hurt/comfort lamp where virgil gets the others together and pines maybe? im feeling down and need to see virgil pining. ps i love all your fics (especially Is It Enough?)

Thanks to the nonny for this prompt! I hope it's what you wanted, I had fin with it. I love writing in Virgil's voice so much because I don't have to try and rein in my natural snark as much. 

Read on Ao3

Pairings: LAMP babeyy

Warnings: our buddy V has a panic attack but it’s not super explicit

Word Count: 4814

It should’ve been easy, right? To see it coming?

 Listen, Virgil’s job is to be observant, to pay attention to shit. Just because he’s notoriously, um, overreactive doesn’t mean he’s bad at paying attention. He sees a whole lot of shit and hey if you saw as much shit as Virgil did you’d be freaking out too, yeah? Okay, great, got that sorted.

 So. Here’s the thing.

When Roman starts sitting a little closer to Patton that he used to on the couch or offering to help him cook and clean when they all know Roman would rather do anything else, Virgil notices. When Roman starts getting up earlier and earlier so he can beat Patton down to the kitchen so they can do it together, Virgil notices. (It’s not like he sleeps, he notices this shit when there’s not supposed to be people up and at ‘em for another half-hour.)

 So yeah, maybe he sinks into Princey’s room one day and smirks when Roman startles terribly coming out of the bathroom.

 “Hey there, Princey.”

 “Don’t—goodness, Stormcloud,” Roman huffs, getting his balance back, “don’t do that. Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?”

 “You were in the bathroom, you wouldn’t have answered.”

 “How did you know I was—you know what, it doesn’t matter.” Roman shakes his head. “What do you want?”

“What, I can’t just pop my head in and say hi?”

 “I’ve never in my life heard you say ‘pop my head in’ and I never want to hear it again.”

 “That’s where you draw the line?”

 “Everyone has a line, Dark and Stormy.”

 Virgil shrugs, smiling when Roman glares at him for curling up on his bed. Which, alright fair.

 “So.”

 “You’ve yet to explain why you’re in my room,” Roman reminds, sounding less upset than confused.

 “Just thought I’d say hi.”

 “Yes, sure, that’s it.”

 “What, you don’t believe me?” Roman just stares at him. “Okay, okay, I...may have an ulterior motive.”

 “Aha!” Roman points at him victoriously. “I knew it! Now tell me, you fiend.”

 It’s only the slight uptick of Roman’s mouth that lets him know that’s probably supposed to be a term of endearment.

 “Oh, nothing much,” Virgil sighs, “just wondering about your sleeping habits.”

 “Considering you’re the only one in the Mindscape who gets less sleep than me, you’re in no position to—“

 “I’m not here to yell at you, Roman,” Virgil says quickly, relaxing a bit when Roman’s shoulders slump, “I just…you know, I hear you when you get up.”

 “That’s…kind of creepy.”

 “It’s my thing, Roman,” he sighs, “I pay attention to shit and it’s not like I’m asleep.”

 “I know, I know, I didn’t mean it like that.” Roman sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Are you asking why I’ve been getting up earlier?”

 “Yup.”

 “It’s nothing bad, Virgil.”

 “Never said it was.”

 Roman sighs again, more dramatically this time, flouncing over to his desk, definitely not pouting. “Virgil…”

 “What? If it’s not bad, why don’t you wanna tell me?” Virgil’s eyes widen. “Ooh, is it a secret? Are you keeping secrets, Roman?”

 “Shut up!”

 “No!” Virgil lobs a pillow at him. “Tell me!”

 He ducks quickly when another one flies back at him.

 “Hey!”

 “You threw it first!”

 “Yeah, and!”

 “Gah!” Roman throws himself up out of his chair, trying to hide how red his face is. It’s not working. “What do you want?”

 “I told you, Princey,” Virgil grins, “I want to know why you’re getting up earlier and why you don’t want to tell me.”

 “Because I want to!”

 “And why do you want to?”

 “No,” Roman insists, pointing his finger at Virgil, “I told you, that’s what you wanted.”

 “Giving me the vaguest answer that doesn’t actually answer the question is not an answer.”

 Roman stares at him for a second. “We’ve said the word ‘answer’ too many times. It’s not a word anymore.”

 “Pity.” Virgil shrugs. “Guess you’re gonna have to just tell me.”

 “That’s not—how does—“ Roman pinches the bridge of his nose. “That is not how this words. Works.”

 Virgil snickers.

 “Shut up.”

 “You’re so flustered, Princey. I haven’t seen you like this in ages.”

 “Leave me alone, Virgil.”

 The note of genuine irritation in Roman’s voice is enough to give Virgil pause. He slides off the bed and walks over to Roman, shoving his hands in his pockets and rocking back and forth on his heels.

 “You mean that, Roman?”

 Roman looks at him from between his fingers, then looks away. “…no.”

 “Okay.” He bumps Roman with his elbow. “Sit down, Princey.”

 He winces when Roman lets his knees buckle and just collapses onto the floor.

 “I didn’t—okay fine.” Listen, Virgil has no respect for ‘normal’ sitting places at the best of times. He sits next to Roman and watches the prince worry at the cuffs of his sleeves. “Roman, you gotta—you’re gonna fuck them up.”

 “It’s fine,” Roman mutters absentmindedly, “I’ve done this before.”

 “…not exactly reassuring me here, dude.”

 “No, not—not this, I just meant the—my sleeves, they’re…they’re not…it’s fine.”

 Virgil nods, frowning as Roman starts to fidget a little more.

 “…Princey—“

 “It’s Patton,” Roman blurts, his face flushing even brighter, “I—that’s why I’m waking up earlier.”

 Something in Virgil’s chest twists.

 “I figured,” he says instead, bumping Roman’s shoulder again, “you, uh, you had that look about you.”

 “What look?”

 Virgil tilts his head a bit. “You…you do know what you look like when you’re in love, don’t you Princey?”

 If Roman’s eyes could go wider than when Virgil said he knew what was going on, well, they do.

“I—I’m—wait, what?”

 “You’re romance, aren’t you?” The corner of Virgil’s mouth tugs upward. “Passion, desire, romance, all of that, right?”

 “I am, but—“

 “You—alright, I gotta figure out a way to say this without being sappy as shit,” Virgil grumbles, looking away for a moment. “Okay, uh—you’re—there’s no way to say this and not sound absolutely ridiculous, but um…your color’s red, right?”

 Roman nods, still staring at him.

 “You…your eyes turn red, Roman,” Virgil mumbles, “like…you know how cartoon people get like…hearts in their eyes?”

 “I get literal heart-eyes?”

 “Kind of?” Virgil waves his hand. “You just—you’re—your irises go red and like…sparkly.”

 “They do?”

 “Have you seriously never noticed?”

 “No!” Roman looks like someone just told him Thomas got another Disney job or something. “I—oh my goodness, this is incredible! How can I see this!”

 “Here’s a tip,” Virgil snickers as Roman’s cheeks start to color again, “next time you’re in the kitchen with Patton or something, look at yourself in the mirror or something reflective right after you look at him.”

 “O-okay,” Roman mumbles, “okay, okay, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this—“

 “Hey—“ Virgil prods him— “you’re supposed to be downstairs in ten minutes anyway, just go now.”

 “Right!”

 “And…he’s gone,” Virgil sighs, getting up and sinking back to his own room. He pulls on his headphones and turns up the music.

 Had Roman…really never noticed his eyes did that? The dude’s had eyes for—well, as long as you have eyes for. Has he never looked at himself when he’s working before? Jeez, and here Virgil thought Roman was looking in a mirror every two seconds.

 Well, it wouldn’t be the first time he’s noticed something that none of the others did. But still, what with how…obvious Roman can be sometimes, had the others really never noticed this either?

 As it turns out, the answer is yes, but also no.

 They’re in the living room a few days later and Roman’s bouncing off the walls, as per usual, as Logan looks up every so often from his book, and Patton giggles. Virgil is decidedly not paying attention because of course he isn’t, curled up on the floor out of the way of Roman’s bouncing.

 “Watch where you’re going,” Logan scolds when Roman almost brains himself on the banister, “you’ll hurt yourself.”

 “Pfft,” Roman blusters, “I haven’t paid attention to a single thing in my entire life and I’ll be damned if I start now.”

 Virgil snorts. Patton makes a vague noise of concern. Logan just sighs.

 “Roman, you are clearly intelligent enough to demonstrate that you do pay attention to things.”

 “I dunno,” Virgil says, “he didn’t notice his heart-eyes when he’s in love until I told him about them.”

 Roman sticks his tongue out. Virgil sticks his out back. Then they notice that Logan and Patton are quiet.

 “Guys?”

 “Roman has what?” Logan closes his book. “I…I was also not aware of this.”

 “Hah!” Roman points at Virgil. “See, it’s not just me!”

 “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

 “Patton? Did you also know this?”

 “Y-yeah,” Patton manages, his voice strangely quiet, “I mean, I knew about Roman’s eyes, but…doesn’t he have that all the time? Not just when he’s in love?”

 Oh.

 Oh, shit.

 Roman freezes, his mouth opening and closing without making sounds. Logan looks quizzically back and forth between the two of them until Virgil clambers to his feet and knocks his elbow.

 “C’mon, L, let’s go somewhere else.”

 “Why?”

 “You’ll see.”

 Sure enough, after a few minutes of them walking away to give Roman and Patton some privacy, Logan makes a small ‘ah’ sound.

 “Yeah,” Virgil sighs, “took them long enough.”

 “I am pleased to say that this I did notice.”

 “Right?”

 “I mean it’s not like it isn’t obvious.”

 “That’s what I said.”

 “Honestly, did they believe we couldn’t see?”

 “I don’t think they knew until like, ten seconds ago.”

 “They truly are a bit oblivious, aren’t they?”

 “Oh, hell yeah.”

 Hey, you know how sickeningly adorable Patton and Roman are normally? You know how much more sickeningly adorable they got after this happened?

 Great.

 Now double that.

 Now you have like, some idea of what Virgil’s going through.

 Dates. Kisses. Flowers. Baking together. Sitting on top of each other. Whispers in the corner. Curled around a phone so tight they can’t tell whose legs are whose.

 All.

 The.

 Time.

 Is Virgil happy for them? Yes. Absolutely. Great for them. Is he also about to down a bottle of soy sauce to even out the amount of pure sugar he’s being forced to consume? Pass that salt factory over here, please, pronto. That’s probably why the feeling that twisted in his chest hasn’t gone away any.

 “Seriously,” Virgil huffs to Logan after the two of them vanish from the kitchen, “Thomas is gonna have so many cavities.”

 “That’s not how it works, Virgil.”

 “But it fucking could be.”

 “I must say I think this has had a…positive impact on Thomas,” Logan says instead, “that his heart and his ego are so…compatible.”

 Virgil snorts. “That’s one way to put it.”

 “I suppose it makes sense.”

 “Yeah, yeah, it makes sense. Right brain boys, we get it. Doesn’t mean I don’t feel like I’m drowning in a gallon of vanilla syrup every time I walk into a fucking room.”

 “Alright, enough,” Logan says, giving Virgil a reprimanding look that’s just this side of too smiley to be effective, “I need more coffee.”

 “Ooh, get me some too?”

 “I have a better idea: why don’t you come with me?”

 Virgil groans. “But that requires moving. And effort.”

 “You have legs.”

 “But—“ Virgil wriggles down into the nice little divot in the couch cushions— “comfy.”

 Logan sighs, shaking his head in what might be fond exasperation. “Very well. Hold this.”

 “Okay,” Virgil mutters, taking Logan’s empty coffee mug, “what are you—hey!”

 Logan, because apparently none of them have noticed that he can apparently do this, simply tucks Virgil under his arm like a sack of potatoes, conveniently ignoring the fact that Virgil is, you know, a fucking heavy-ass person, and walks off toward the kitchen like this is absolutely fucking normal.

 “Do I even weigh anything to you?”

 “Your weight is not insubstantial.”

 Well, judging by the way Logan’s just walking, like a normal person, uh, it doesn’t seem like it.

 “How—since when—what?”

 “Articulate as always, Virgil,” Logan remarks, stride never faltering, “I do seek to maintain some level of physical fitness.”

 “Some level of—Logan, you’re carrying me like it’s nothing!”

 Logan glances down and raises an eyebrow. “Is there a problem?”

 Nope. Absolutely not. Not from this angle. Holy shit.

 “No,” Virgil squeaks, “no, nope. I’m good. No problems.”

 Logan hums and looks away, easily setting Virgil back on his feet once they get to the kitchen.

 Yeah, yeah. Everything’s fine right now. Everything’s so fine. Everything’s so fine and good right now in the way that it’s happening. It’s never not been fine. Virgil’s never been more fine in his fucking life.

 Holy fuck.

 Okay, so Virgil was not observant enough to pick that up the first time around—get it? No? Fuck you, that was funny—but he does start noticing it more often. How Logan can just sigh and pick up the couch to grab his pencil, or how he never balks at having to put away the really heavy dishes that Patton struggles with. It’s—okay. Yep, he can deal with this. Totally.

 Virgil just sees a lot, okay?

 Which means that he can see how Roman and Patton react when they first realize how strong Logan is.

 Patton’s looking for something in the top of the cupboard, straining on his tiptoes. He sighs and starts to try and climb the counter.

 “Patton!” Logan rushes into the kitchen past Virgil who sits back to watch the show. “Don’t do that, you know how dangerous it is.”

 “I know, I know, but I can’t find the brown sugar, I think I pushed it back too far!”

 “Just get the step stool, you know where it is.”

 “But it takes so long to reorganize the closet to get it out,” Patton protests, “and I know where it is, it won’t take long.”

 “We do need to fix that, don’t we?” Logan sighs. “Alright. You say you know where it is?”

 “Yes! I can see it, I just can’t reach it.”

 “Alright. Ready?”

 “Ready for—oof!”

 Patton squeals when Logan just…picks him up and holds him by the cupboard, clutching Logan’s arms like he’s going to fall.

 “L-Logan!”

 “Can you reach it?”

 “Y-yeah, I can probably—oh my goodness, Lo, you’re strong!”

 “I’m not going to drop you, Patton, just grab the sugar.”

 “Okay, okay, I, um…” Patton fidgets, still clutching Logan’s hands. “Gosh!”

 “Patton? The sugar?”

 “R-right!” Patton pulls the bag of sugar out of the cupboard as Logan lowers him gently to the ground. “Wow, thanks, Logan!”

 “Of course. Though we really must get the closet reorganized, the step stool does not good if we can’t easily access it…”

 Virgil snickers as Logan goes off about the closet. He knows damn well Patton is not paying any attention to what he’s saying. He catches Virgil’s eyes and just mouths ‘wow!’

 Virgil responds with a shrug of ‘what can you do?’

 “Virgil?”

 “What’s up, L?” He cranes his neck back to peer up at Logan.

 “Patton has requested that we all come to stay in the kitchen,” Logan says, offering a hand to pull Virgil to his feet. Virgil briefly entertains the idea of making Logan pick him up again when he decides against it.

 “Okay…?”

 “Do you happen to know where Roman is,” Logan asks as he pulls Virgil up, “or no?”

 “I think he’s in the Imagination?”

 Logan rolls his eyes. “Then you may as well come with me. We’ll have a better chance of finding him.”

 Virgil tips Patton a lazy two-fingered salute as they make their way up the stairs. Sure enough, the bright red door to the Imagination is ajar, and as Logan steps through, Virgil spots a castle, a briar garden, and many many cloud fortresses above.

 “Well,” Logan huffs as Virgil closes the door, “he’s not running out of energy any time soon.”

 “Good.”

 “Quite.” Logan glances around. “Well, we’d better start looking.”

 Virgil’s about to agree when he hears something whistling above him. He looks up and squints.

 He takes two steps to the left.

 “Virgil?” Logan turns around. “What’re you doing?”

 In response, Virgil just points up.

 Logan follows his finger, his expression changing from one of confusion to that familiar fond exasperation again. Virgil expects him to glance around for something soft, or squishy, or at the very least move out of the way.

 Instead, Logan simply sighs, takes two steps closer, and holds out his arms…

 …and catches Roman effortlessly in a princess carry.

 “Hello, Roman,” Logan says like he didn’t just fucking do that, “Patton wants everyone downstairs.”

 “I don’t think Roman’s got speech right now, L,” Virgil snickers.

 Indeed, Roman—which, hang on, let’s preface this by saying this is a reasonable reaction, okay? Logan just fucking caught him after falling from god knows how high like he weighs less than a fucking pillow, this is not something that just happens—is staring open-mouthed at Logan, panting heavily, frozen in Logan’s arms. Logan tilts his head.

 “Roman? Are you okay?”

 Virgil snorts when Roman suddenly flails and tries to struggle out of Logan’s arms.

 “Roman,” Logan says sternly and holy fuck, “if you want me to put you down I will, but if you do that you’re going to hurt yourself.”

 “Yep,” Roman squeaks, “you can—you can put me down, I can walk, you can put me down.”

 “There we go.” Logan puts him down only for Roman to quickly brush himself off and dart toward the door. “Where are you going?”

 “Patton! Downstairs! Forgot! Bye!”

 “Well, he seems to be in a hurry,” Logan sighs, adjusting his glasses, only to frown at Virgil when Virgil just bursts out laughing. “What?”

 “No, no, you gotta—holy shit!” Virgil doubles over, still cackling. “Oh my god, his face.”

 “I don’t understand what’s so funny,” Logan says a moment later when Virgil’s wiping tears from his eyes, “did I do something wrong?”

 The concerned question sobers Virgil, at least enough to stop dying. “No, no, L, you’re fine. Roman’s just…having a moment.”

 “Because he forgot about Patton’s request,” Logan nods, “and does not wish to offend him.”

 “…yeah, that’s it.”

 “Well,” Logan says, dusting himself off, “let’s not be late too, hmm?”

 “Sure, L.”

 Logan might not know why Roman and Patton are muttering furiously to each other and spring apart the second they appear around the end of the stairs, but Virgil does. He just chuckles and winks and settles in to watch a dinner of the three of them being absolutely idiots.

 It’s fine.

 It’s so fine.

 It’s probably because he was laughing so hard that his chest still hurts.

 This lasts for like a week, and Virgil’s fucking face hurts from laughing at their fucking faces and trying to hide how hard he’s fucking laughing. And yeah okay Virgil’s in no position to judge, he’s got no idea how ridiculous he looked when he got jump scared by Logan’s freaky strength.

 And it’s just not fucking fair because if it was Roman, they’d all expect it. He’d be sweeping them off their feet every two seconds and they’d be used to it by now. If it were Patton, he’d just pick them up and hug them and be the best dad ever and that would be great. But no, it’s Logan.

 Logan who’s…Logan. Who can calm them all down better than anyone else but also has that sharp-as-hell tongue and quick wit that runs circles around them. Fuck. He’s just—gah.

 Okay, at least Virgil’s not alone here. He’s seen Patton fumble through his words around a surprisingly patient Logan for ages now, and watched Roman stand way too close to Logan too. And yeah, okay, he’s seen the way Logan looks at them too.

 So much so that he bites the bullet one day and sighs, tugging Logan out of the living room and to his room.

 “Virgil? What’s going on?”

 “What’s going on,” Virgil sighs, “is that if I have to look at you pining over them for one more second I am going to scream.”

 Logan, to his credit, doesn’t try and deny it. Instead, he simply adjusts his tie and glasses, studiously avoiding Virgil’s gaze. “I suppose it really is that obvious.”

 “To me, yeah, to those two, not so much.”

 “I will get over this, I’m working on it.”

 “God, no, L, that’s not what I—“ Virgil pinches the bridge of his nose. “Just talk to them, okay?”

 “Are you certain? But you’d be…okay with this?”

 Virgil levels a stare at him. “Dude, have you not seen how they look at you?”

 “…no?”

 “What is it like for you guys? It must be so boring.”

 “I can assure you,” Logan says wryly, “I can see perfectly well.”

 “Sure, Specs.”

 “Alright, that’s enough.”

 “Yeah, uh-huh. Sure.”

 “Virgil!”

 “No, no, I’m just saying it’s interesting that—“

 “That’s enough.”

 Virgil gulps. “Mhmm. Okay. Yep. Got it.”

 He wisely does not go into the living room for the rest of the day.

 There’s a lot Virgil sees. He sees the way Logan makes two extra mugs of coffee, sits just so on the couch, touches the small of Roman’s back or the crook of Patton’s shoulder. He sees the way Roman smiles when he looks at Patton the way he doesn’t smile any other time, wraps his arms tightly around Logan’s waist and hooks his chin over his shoulder, keeps his door cracked a little more than usual. He sees the way Patton fusses over the cookies, making sure they’ve always got Roman’s chips and Logan’s pretzels stocked, walks in the middle of the two of them with their hands swinging.

 He sees a lot.

 And, uh…he realizes something.

 Remember that, uh, funny feeling in his chest that he totally thought was from somewhere else?

 Listen, just because he sees a lot of stuff doesn’t mean he’s the best at recognizing it.

 So yeah. He’s, uh…

 You know.

 Don’t make him say it.

 As it turns out, that can make you blind to certain things. When he’s hyper-focusing on the things he knows he’s going to see, he doesn’t really have the space to realize there’s a whole host of things he doesn’t see.

 He doesn’t see the way Patton’s smile drops when Virgil declines his invitation to movie night, saying he doesn’t wanna crash or invade. He doesn’t notice the way Roman makes a point to ask permission to hug Virgil too, cradling him with a tenderness he doesn’t notice that he’s only seen for the others. He doesn’t realize how much Logan’s behavior toward him is how Logan treats Roman and Patton now.

 He doesn’t notice much past the ache in his chest.

 Then he has a panic attack on their date night and the pain sharpens to an unbearable whine.

 They’re not coming. They’re not coming. There’s no one here to help him, he’s alone, he’s always going to be alone, in the dark, in the shadows, away from the light. They’re not worrying about him, why would they? They’ve got each other, they don’t need him, they’ve never needed him, not like he needs them, he’s—he’s all alone, he doesn’t have anyone, no one wants him, he’s going to die like this. He’s alone. It’s cold. The cold is painful. His chest burns from how cold it is. He can’t breathe, it’s so cold.

 “Virgil?”

 No one is here, no one is coming.

 “Roman, can you—?”

 Something bangs in the distance.

 “Virgil!”

 Strong arms wrap around him and pull him into something warm. More strong arms cover his hands and gently pry them away from his face. Something soft rubs his face and strokes over his back.

 “I need you to breathe with me, kiddo, come on…”

 “We’re right here, Stormcloud, you just calm down now.”

 “It’s okay, Virgil, everything is okay.”

 They’re…here?

 No, no, no, they’re not supposed to be here, it’s their date night, they—oh, god they’re missing their date night for him and he’s ruining it and they’re going to hate him now and—and—

 “Shh, shh,” comes Logan’s voice from somewhere above him, “hush now, Virgil, it’s alright. We’ve got you.”

 “You’re safe, sweetheart,” Patton coos, “I promise. You just sit with Logan for a minute, okay?”

 “I’m—I’m so—sor—sorr—“

 “None of that, shadowling,” Roman murmurs, brushing—wait, what?—brushing his lips over the back of Virgil’s shaking hand, “it’s not your fault.”

 The ache in Virgil’s chest expands and collapses in on itself again.

 Logan makes a comforting noise, tugging Virgil gently this way and that until he’s square in Logan’s arms, his head pillowed in the crook of Logan’s neck. Roman’s hand cards through his hair. Patton taps the 4-7-8 rhythm gently on his arm.

 “Virgil, honey?” Patton reaches up to dab at his damp cheek when he mumbles a full apology. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”

 “Yeah,” Virgil manages, “y-you can go now, ‘m sorry.”

 Roman chuckles. “If you think we’re leaving you, little demon, you’ve got another thing coming.”

 “B-but you—“

 “Shh, shh,” Roman says quickly when Virgil’s breathing starts to pick up again, “take it easy, V, it’s okay, we’re not in a hurry.”

 “It’s your date night,” Virgil blurts, the words clumsy and too loud in his mouth, “you—you shouldn’t have to be here. W-with—“

 “…with,” Patton prompts gently, “with what, kiddo?”

 “…with me.”

 “Oh, kiddo…”

 “If you think,” Roman says quietly, “that we’d rather be anywhere else than right here, with you, at any time, you’re sorely mistaken, V.”

 Wait.

 What?

 “B-but we’re—you’re—I’m not—“

 “Not what, kiddo?”

 “…yours.”

 Saying it out loud punctures his chest again. Tears well up in his eyes as he buries his face shamefully in Logan’s neck.

 “…oh my god,” he hears Roman say faintly, “it happened!”

 “But I thought we—we were being more obvious!”

 “I know! I thought we were too! But this happened! It’s just like the stories, oh my goodness—“

 “Oh, kiddo…”

 Virgil can’t process any of that right now, thank you very much, because he’s currently hiding in Logan’s embrace and would rather never emerge again.

 If he had, well, he may have been a little more prepared for Logan to cup his face with one hand and pull back enough to look him in the eyes.

 “Virgil,” Logan whispers, “we thought you already were.”

 Stop.

 Wait.

 Pause.

 Go back.

 Rewind.

 “What?”

 “Surely you’ve noticed, kiddo, haven’t you?” Patton squeezes his arm. “We love you, Virgil.”

 “B-but—you—“

 “Stormcloud,” Roman whispers, brushing his lips over Virgil’s cheek, “we do, and you’re ours as much as you’d like to be.”

 “I—I—Logan—“

 “Patton’s right,” Logan says, still cupping Virgil’s face as he wipes away stray tears, “to be honest, I….well, I thought you and I were in a relationship long before Patton and Roman.”

 “You what?”

 In response, Logan leans forward and kisses Virgil’s forehead.

 “You don’t think I’d do that for just anyone,” he whispers, too quiet for the others to hear, “do you?”

 Hello, yes, hi, Virgil has precisely zero idea what’s going on right now, so uh, if everyone could just hold the fuck on for two seconds it would be greatly appreciated.

 “Aww, Left Brain boys!”

 “Shh!”

 Virgil isn’t interrupting date night.

 The others care about him.

 The others love him.

 The others want him to be a part of their family.

 Logan thought they were in a relationship already.

 “Shh, shh,” Logan shushes, his thumb stroking Virgil’s shaking cheek, “you don’t have to say anything right now, darling. This is a lot, I’m sure.”

 “Logan’s right.” Roman ruffles Virgil’s hair. “We’ll be here for you, Stormcloud.”

 “And that’s a promise.”

 Yeah, Virgil’s brain is way too fried by all of this to process any of it. But he does know that Roman’s hand in his hair is warm and soft and perfect. He knows that Patton’s murmuring something quietly that’s lulling him right to sleep. He knows that Logan is still holding him tightly, his lips pressed to his forehead, whispering how much they love him.

 “Go to sleep, darling,” Logan whispers, “we’ll be here when you wake up.”

 “…rude?”

 “You’re not being rude, kiddo, promise.”

 “Close your eyes,” Roman calls softly, his fingers scratching around Virgil’s head, “and you’ll see, Stormcloud.”

 As Virgil’s eyes drift closed, maybe…maybe they’re right.

 Maybe it’ll be a little easier to see that way.

General Taglist:  

@frxgprince @potereregina @reddstardust @gattonero17 @iamhereforthegayshit @thefingergunsgirl @awkwardandanxiousfander @creative-lampd-liberties @djpurple3 @winterswrandomness @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes @iminyourfandom @bullet-tothefeels @full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind @demoniccheese83 @pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious  @firefinch-ember @fandomssaremysoul @im-an-anxious-wreck @crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch @enby-ralsei @unicornssunflowersandstuff @wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams @averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @private-snippers @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @aularei @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws @elizabutgayer @i-am-overly-complicated @annytheseal @alias290 @tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @such-a-dumbass

If you want to be added/taken off the taglist please let me know! ^_^

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

Oh my gosh so I also headcannon Jack as autistic! But im not comfortable with writing it yet because idk how. Im not autistic; my little sister is and i know a few things jack could have trouble with... but hes a grown ass man so i just dont know. Im definitely taking notes on what you write him as but could you give me some pointers?....maybe?

Im mostly referencing to Bitter with this

aaaa yeah it definitely presents differently in adults who've learned to mask, personally I don't plan to put certain things in specifically to talk about how he's autistic, I write with the background knowledge of what traits he displays, and then express them when relevant, it's relevant a lot with Jack simply due to how much it affects his life

now this is going to get long, so bare with me, because this is a whole lot more complicated than you might expect

there's really no one correct way to write Jack, since there's no one way that autism presents itself, the way I write him is based on a mix of myself and some people in my family, so I can give you a basic idea of what angle I personally come from

for one, I change the way I write about facial expressions and how emotions come across to Jack, in Jazz's chapters I'll write about the exact emotion she can see on their face, with Jack's I'll go with an obvious base emotion, but then if the person is expressing something more complicated, I'll describe their face in physical details

eg;

Jazz POV - Danny was upset, but his face was tight with frustration

Jack POV - Danny looked sad, but his eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was set in a hard line

it's a subtle difference but it's one I try to maintain throughout Bitter, Jack's POV is based on how I have trouble reading non-obvious expressions, although in my case I also have trouble looking people in the face when I talk to them, that's harder to write in an emotion driven POV story, so I made Jack better at that than I am

his interest in machines is quite obvious, since he's an inventor, and he looooves infodumping on people, he gets very excited about his passions very quickly and his mouth runs off with him, something I also have trouble with, it hasn't been a prominent trait for Jack in Bitter, because he's so out of his element he's mostly confused and in a way, almost grieving his own death, so he's been far quieter than he usually is

his special interest is obviously ghosts and machinery, and in Bitter I cover that he's got a degree in engineering, physics and mathematics. He's good at them, I like to look at it as though Jack rolled high in intelligence and low in wisdom, he's book smart, he knows things that are straightforward and have firm rules, he's less comfortable in topics that are more wishy washy and vague, biology is complicated and has too many variables, he finds it difficult to grasp, there's no one standard rule that applies to every body

I also struggle with vague and unclear directions, I need a solid structure and clear instructions, my strength is in sorting, organising, alphabetising and colour coding, I like things to Look Right, I stick to a particular routine with very specific things, and it's viscerally uncomfortable and even distressing for me to have that order disturbed, I nearly had a meltdown at work because someone had done a part of my job incorrectly, and I had to fix it, it made me genuinely upset on a personal level, it was MY system, NOBODY should be touching it, NOBODY should be moving things around, they do anyway, and I spend a portion of my shifts just frustrated and on edge because of it

Jack also has issues socially, he often says or does things that other people find uncomfortable or embarrassing, I reference that in Bitter, where Jack assumes everyone is mad at him because he said or did something stupid, this I have much experience in, while in the middle of a social situation it's easy to just do what comes naturally to you and not realise it's off putting to other people, because people often play polite and you can't tell that they're uncomfortable, even though people around you find it painfully obvious

sometimes it's easy to see in hindsight after you've been told you made something awkward or uncomfortable, but in the moment if nobody says anything about it, you can remain either totally oblivious, or become anxious and second guess every interaction you have

Jack is the oblivious type, he's fortunate to live in a family that is fairly understanding, they might get frustrated with him, or embarrassed by him, but they don't really take it personally, they KNOW he means well, they know he cares, and Jack does care, he cares a lot, he feels things a lot, he's incredibly empathetic

this is a trait that a lot of media likes to ignore in depictions of autism, because I guess it makes people with autism seem 'too normal', when tv shows always want to be like 'hey wow look at this clever asshole! isn't he clever, but also an asshole! but you can't hate him because he's ✨autistic✨ and he can't help it'

that bothers me a lot, I mean some people with autism do have trouble relating and empathising with people, my brother is one of them, but some people with autism really empathise a lot, some of us feel things very strongly, I'm highly empathetic and it's a real struggle to cope with

so yeah, it is a very complicated thing, so you need to go in with an idea of what their character struggles with, how it affects them, and when it's relevant in the story, also autism falls on a very wide spectrum, some people, like myself, are able to mask well, but that creates a big issue with identity, when you start to wonder how much of you is real and how much of you is mask, then you have to decide if you want to lower that mask and accept the social consequences of expressing yourself naturally

I have a friend who presents a little more obviously, he's very rigid in his ways and he talks like he's reading from a script, I have another friend who can socialise just fine, but will go into a total meltdown when a plan gets derailed and she doesn't know what to do next

another friend I have is highly social and incredibly boisterous, she stims with her whole body, dances around a lot, she's chaotic and that can be off-putting to people, she's had to spend a lot of her life holding that back, she's only recently started learning how to be herself shamelessly

my brother was incredibly social when he was younger, and people always really loved him, but most of that is mask, he's socially anxious and just wants to be alone most of the time, and he's a total prick to his immediate family, I don't take that personally any more, since now I understand that he's so blunt and brutally honest because he isn't masking with us, but also he still needs to be called out when he oversteps, autism might be why he has difficulty empathising, but it's not an excuse to be a complete asshole, even people with autism need to be called out on shitty behaviour, it isn't a get out of jail free card, our self expression shouldn't come at the cost of hurting other people, most of us are more than capable of learning to not be an asshole

I know this is like, A LOT, but these are the things that need to be considered when writing about autism, it is an all encompassing thing that permeates your entire life experience, I absolutely welcome people like you to try to write about it! Because I think it shouldn't be a taboo subject, and I appreciate that you asked for advice and that you want to do it respectfully, you've probably seen first hand how difficult living with autism can be, having a family member on the spectrum, so you already have some experience to draw from, I don't know your relationship with your sister or how old she is, or where on the spectrum she falls, but if possible you can ask her about her experiences in particular situations that you're having trouble writing, if that's something you and she are comfortable with

I hope this helps, just remember to keep an open mind and listen to any feedback you might get, it is very VERY easy to misrepresent autism so don't be too hard on yourself if you don't quite get it right, if someone gives you a critique, take it in stride and use it to become better ~ you can even express that in an authors note, that you want to write it accurately and invite anyone with experience to share their opinion, because like I said, it is different for everyone and my experiences are not universal, and you're welcome to run something by me every once in a while if you aren't sure about it ❤️

[popculturebuffet]

Of Moons, Millionares and Mothers Part 3: Storkules in Duckburg! aka THE INCREDIBLE STORKULES TERRIBLE BUT WELL MEANING ROOMATE OUT OF MYTH

Hello all you happy people! And welcome and welcome back to Of Moons, Millionares and Mothers, my look at the season 2 arcs of Ducktales! This arc was paid for by WeirdKev27 and I truly enjoy his support. if you want to know how to commission your own reviews or to get a guarnateed review of me of your choice from me a month, stick around to the end. I realized that shoving all my plugs in up top may be driving people away and while I DO make them because I want to make a living off this, i’ts not fair to those of you who simply can’t afford to buy a lot of extra shit like myself to keep shoving it in your face. 

Previously on the Louie Inc Arc, Louie, after believing he had no skills and it was a matter of when not if he ws going to die, found his talent: seeing all the angles and thus being Sharper than the Sharpies. With newfound confidence and a chip on his shoulder from Scrooge saying he could one day be a bigger success than Scrooge himself, founding Louie Inc as a result. But what is Louie Inc? Does he actually have a plan or a bunch of buzzwords. And what does STORKULES, MANLY GAY OUT OF MYTH have to do with any of this? Join me under the cut to find out. 

We open with Louie giving Scrooge his sales pitch that is essentially...

Naturally Scrooge buys none of it. I mean he’s somewhere in his hundreds, he’s probably seen about 80 thousand pitches that amount to “I have no plan but give me money anyway”. There’s a reason there’s a Butch Hartman shaped crater on the lawn from where he threw his ass out. 

Scrooge does mentor the lad, or at least attempt to pointing out he needs an actual product or service (Louie rejects the idea of a lemonade stand as too easy), or as he puts it “Find a problem and create a solution”. 

While the basic PRINCIPAL isn’t bad, find something people want or need and provide it, phrasing it that way sounds like “find a problem people are having and exploit the shit out of that problem for fun and profit.” Granted that IS a guiding principal of business, it’s just not something an uncle should be teaching his kids. They should be teaching them about the anime and cartoons they grew up with as I do with my niece and nibling. 

He does show him a valid example of this in action in the form of Donald. Turns out Donald has found a good way to make money while he looks for a job, can relate: since Duckburg is facing a housing shortage, likely because several square blocks probably get destroyed by Scrooge’s Adventures, Glomgold’s Schemes, Superhero Battles, whatever creation went horribly wrong for Gyro, etc at least once a week. So he’s taken it upon himself to offer up the spare room to whoever can rent it.. and to steal Scrooge’s chandelier which even when caught he still takes anyway. Scrooge.. you called the guy a god-damn moocher in the season premiere, despite the fact he lives there soley because YOU offered and because he’s you know, being responsible and staying by his boys so they have their father figure around. So yeah I feel he’s doing this partly out of spite as is the McDuck way. I mean if your going to call him a freeloader just for being a responsible parent, then he’s going to take it up a damn notch.

Scrooge proceeds to laugh off Louie wanting a million dollars and gives him a dime instead because of course he was. Seriously Louie there are two other billionaires in town who are FAR dumber and far more easily swindled. Just go get star up capital from them. Hell with Glomgold all you’d have to do is tell him it’d upset scrooge and he’d literally throw money at you. Or give you a shark full of money. He needs the shark back though. He’s family. 

Meanwhile Donald prepares for his new tenant and finds.. THE INCREDIBLE STORKULES! Who to his mounting horror as he realizes it, IS the new tenant. And who throws him into the sun. Cue credits. 

So after Donald somehow survives being thrown into the sun, Storkules explains why he’s here: Zeus responded to his son playing the lute a lot like any rational reasonable 

No of course he responded to the “crime” of “playing his instrument a lot” with sending a swarm of harpies on the town then blaming Storkules for it and casting him out. What’s most shocking is not the action, this is honestly him staying the course of being a fucking disgrace, but that Zeus somehow ISN’T the biggest asshole i’ve dealt with this week. No that honor is reserved as always for this bitch:

Keep in mind she manages to be this obnoxious in only TWO scenes. Also keep in mind I had to put up with Julie for a MUCH larger chunk of the previous two volumes I covered before volume 5 yesterday for my Scott Pilgrim Retrospective and she is ALWAYS like this and you now feel my pain. 

This does create a problem though: Zeus casts Storkules out until he’s a responsible adult.. and thus paints Storkules as the bad guy... in a situation where the only other person in the story sent a swarm of HARPIES down at him for simply playing his music too loud. It just dosen’t work as a catalyst: Storkules objectively did nothing wrong. The only person he annoyed was a person who clearly dosen’t love, respect or like his son in any way shape or form anyway and essentially assaulted him and a bunch of innocent people via harpie and then cast him out. Zeus is an abusive asshole and i’ts weird the narrative sides with HIM and not our well meaning doofus. Zeus being an asshole with harpies is not a bad catalyst for the episode, and the harpies being unleashed is used well.. it’s just not a good catalyst for THIS story to try and portray an abuser as in the right. And make no mistake Zeus is a domestic abuser: he had his son mind controlled to try and MURDER innocent people, something Storkules begged him not to do, sent a swarm of creatures after him for the crime of playing his music too loud and in his next episode manipulatives Storkules sad emotional state for personal gain. Why would you try and paint THIS jackass as in the right?

Speaking of painting this jackass in the right sadly.. this episode does not do my boy donald justice. In most episodes he’s pretty nuanced and i’ts fair enough he’d be frustrated by Storkules as a roomate. Storkules has little sense of personal space, breaks his stove thinking theirs hydra in it, makes a mess of the kitchen making them a meal, and in general clearly dosen’t know how to live with a roomate much less in modern society. He has valid concerns and the episode COULD have used it that way.. but he’s also horribly impatient with Storkules. He refuses to get the guy just hasn’t had to live in a modern society and dosen’t know HOW to function in it and instead of helping him just gets mad again and again and gets really pissed when it’s clear Storkules dosen’t have a job and didn’t consider paying rent. He’s not WRONG to want him to pay Rent, despite what ironically the musical Rent would try and have you believe, but he dosen’t have any patience with the guy. And stork isn’t nearly coming on as strong as he normally does. The worst he does is cook the guy lunch and bring his donald fan art with him. Which we don’t see but I am assuming is mostly naked. What i’m saying is for once that while still bombastic, Storkules isn’t trying to force a relationship/friendship on him and simply wants to learn t be an adult from his best friend.. and Donald isn’t bothering teaching him.

Asking for rent or for him not to destroy the stove is fine, but not explaining WHY he needs either of those things or why he needs boundaries, he makes a roomate list, isn’t helping the guy. And this would be fine... but the episode dosen’t call Donald out on it for no real reason. It feels like it’s setting up for a “you should learn to wokrk with someone instead of just screaming at them aseop” that never comes and like with Zeus takes his side because shutup. I’d also LIKE to say this is the only time the writers reduced one of the cast to a caracture of themselves.. but I can’t.  Several episodes in season 3 forgot Louie’s character development and another episode in season 2, The Duck Knight Returns!, somehow reduced both Scrooge and Dewey to parodies of themselves with Scrooge SOMEHOW, despite Della as stubborn as she is being in his care and by his side for decades and Movies bein ga huge business, not having seen a movie since the 1920′s and not knowing how they work and Dewey being reduced to just hyperactive moron. It isn’t as common as other shows like say Regular Show, The Loud House or, for the exact reason I lost intrest, Rick and Morty, but I still expect better, especially since they went into this season KNOWING Donald would be gone for half of it and this would likely be one of his only spotlight episodes. 

Back at the good part of the plot, Louie is having a company meeting aka already treating Huey and Webby like his employees. Webby of course is glad to sign on, if little help in actually coming up with a product while Huey just wants to nope out. And if your wondering why Dewey isn’t involved Louie outright says he’d make a bad employee and while Dewey rises from his bed to object.. he stops halfway to opening his mouth and concludes he has a point. Best gag of the episode. Louie being louie easily cons Huey into staying by making Webby his charts officer. 

So the three have a corporate retreat at Funso’s... granted they don’t have a product but Louie figures this might help. Huey.. still wants out of this and suggest since they already spent what they had on ski ball “Company over?”. It’s clear that Huey just sees this as another one of Louie’s short sighted schemes... and while he’s not ENITRELY wrong, Louie has genuine ambition.. he just has no earthly idea what he’s doing and is shooting way too high.. but for understandable reasons. 1) He’s 11 at this point. 11 year olds aren’t great at business strategy or reinging it in. 2) he wants to live up to what Scrooge said to prove he can be successful and really be worth something like his mom was. 

But sometimes fate throws you one and the harpies bust in. And while Louie wants to do nothing and hope they go away Huey and Webby spring into action.. as does Storkules, who had to leave but warns donald there’s Orzo in the slowcooker and to not open it “LEST THE PASTA FAIL TO ABSORB THE BROTH!” Which is just.... Chris’ best line dleivery the episode. He says it like he’s saying the title of an old Stan Lee and Jack Kirby comic, i’ts wonderful.

So our heroes defeat them and Louie steps in to charge for the service and quickly comes up with a company idea and name “Harp-B-Gone” (A Subsidary of Louie Inc). Louie hires Storkules on the spot. Storkules proudly tells Donald he has a job the next day and goes off to it. What follows is our heroes hilarously shooting a commerical with Storkules playing a baby to promote themselves so they can help who needs it. They just need to find out what they want.. and thanks to the JWG and the harpies stealing it find out they go after people’s most treasured posessions   Cue Ghostbusters-Style Montage

And this isn’t just me saying thing. The Rewriting History Entry (Which as a series weirdly stops around mid-season 2 and I don’t get why frank hasn’t gone back and finished it since) states they specifically based this whole operation on ghostbusters and the entire sequence of our heroes cleanin up the town reminds me of it. The highlight of it is a glomgold cameo where he’s kidnapped.. and refuses to pay so Louie just lets him go. And were this an innocent person who couldn’t afford it, i’d call him a monster.. but it’s glomgold. he brought this on himself.. and also sues himself for it. Wonder if he won. 

So with their stars rising, our heroes get booked on the hottest show in town: Dewey Dew-Night! I had honestly forgotten there was a Dewey Dew-Night segment in there, and delighted I get to talk about this recurring bit.  It’s one of the shows funniest runners and just perfectly FITS Dewey: of course the most egotistical and energetic of the kids would not only want to be a late hnight host but make up his own show. I also love the slow evolution of it: it started as something everyone clearly knew about but he stlill tried to keep hidden, slowly escalated to him allowing the rest of his siblings (Webby very much included) and the giant man who stalks his uncle in, and by later this season he’s putting the show online in the web shorts and gladly shooting it into space, with Season 3 having him spend the first half of let’s get dangerous making a documentary that includes an episode of the show featuring Darkwing. It’s a small thing sure, but it’s the little things like this that make the show special. 

The show does reveal a problem though as it turns out they’ve GOT all the harpies and while Storkules merely wanted to help, Louie points out they need more to keep a buisness going and naturally never bothered to ask Storkules just how many there were. They need SOME plan to get going. Webby submits a legitamte and great idea, training the harpies as she’s been trying to do in the background of the episode and aside from a hole in the floor they are starting to listen. But Huey is an ass about it and not only shoots it down saying let’s keep the dangerous creatures contained, even though A) he has no idea WHERE they’ve been kept so he can’t verify it’s safe, and since i’ts Donald’s Closet no no it’s not. and B)There’s no where he knows of to keep them. He isn’t aware of the other bin till next season. and C) it’s not ehtical to keep creatures locked up forever epsecially since while the harpies are dangerous they arent’ MALEVOLENT and are clearly acting on instinct. oh and for D) at least she has a plan to keep the company going instead of just wanting to end this and cash out. 

Which Huey tries to.. but naturally Louie spent all their money on...

So their broke.. and Storkules has no rent money and feels like a failure despite having done NOTHING wrong. We do get a clever little nod to Disney’s hercules though “I”m not a hero, i’m a zero”. Webby rightfully glares at Louie who decides to fix it... by sneaking into Donald’s house that night to free the harpies. 

Though to the shows credit it’s a VERY bad idea, and Storkules coming in mid attempt and congradulating Louie when he lies about checking the door gets the kid to come clean. And it’s a nice character moment: He could still go through with it.. but it’s clear he realizes just HOW low he was about to sink to save his own skin and that as much as Storkules WANTS a paycheck and deserves one, it’s not worth hurting people to get it. Louie tries to justify after this.. but can’t. 

Unforutnately Donald took a lot of stupid pills this episode, yells about his no pets rule and frees them instead of you know, THINKING for five minutes.

So yeah NATURALLY Donald is an angry shit about it , refusing to actually TALK to Storkules about this or maybe admit this is partly HIS OWN FAULT. Yes their both at fault, Storkules shoudln’t of shoved a bunch of harpies in a closet. That’s a classic blunder. But Donald still opened it and isn’t called out on taking zero responsibility. Huey sees the fracas and just takes down their days without an accident placard, good stuff and he and webby arrive to help. Donald fights with Storkules and Storkules worries about loosing his friend.. lead to them going after the thing he values most aka donlad and hyjacking the house boat, though the kids manage to get aboard. 

As Storkules saves Donald, Louie realizes the most precious thing he has is  his merch and willingly gives it, and his buisness up to save everyone. It’s good character stuff and shows that despite his problems with greed, Louie IS a good kid and will do the right thing. It’s what seperates him from the Rouges Gallery the family faces: He has FLEXIBLE morals but he has morals when it comes down to it. So everyone tosses the stoff to help direct the hapries and make it home tying them up. Donald has a heart to heart with Storkules and agrees to help him find another place, but still considers him a friend and they hug. Awww.  One intresting thing I DID find out from rewriting history is they originally fully intended to have Storkules STAY on the houseboat. He was going to be a permenant member of the household, at least as far as Season 2 was concenred and plans were made for several episodes down the road: the whole bit with him in “The Golden Spear” was simply because he lived there, he was going to be the one Della met in the houseboat, obliviously guilting her about what she’d missed, and he was going to set off the kids subplot in “Whatever Happened to Donald Duck?”

This ended up not happneing for logistical reasons: Frank, and I swear this was the term he used, felt they already had the perfect Himbo in Launchpad and it was just too much HImbo energy for the two to coexist without one taking the others screen time or neither getting a lot. 

The next reason was having a god around simply broke the story: He cited the gilded man from “Nothing Can Stop Della Duck!” as a specific example. There were just too many hoops to jump to have him not break any story he should be around for.  Finally with Della being added to the cast soon there simply wasn’t room in the main cast. Della brought it up to 9, Storkules would make it 10, and as i’ve gone on about the show already had trouble ballancing it’s cast, something Frank admitted to. Adding him would both be too big a stiatus quo change and be one on top of the massive one of Della joining the cast. So he was dropped back to recurring and only showed up one more time. And while it was the right call I am dismayed he didn’t show up for the whatever happened to donald duck subplot and it does feel very weird he never adresses Donald being gone despite, at least for season 2, apparently living in Duckburg. Otherwise though as funny as this wouldv’e been.. yeah it was the right call. 

Scrooge returns... having been absent all episode because otherwise it wouldn’t work and easily saw Louie loosing it all coming.. but gives him a can of lemonade for his troubles and comforts the boy. The heart of htis arc and what makes it work at it’s best.. is these two. Scrooge GENUINELY wants to help Louie see his potetial successor in buisness: oh sure adventure wise he’s throughly covered.. but Webby, Dewey and Della all are more focused on the addventure part and that’s where their passion and talent lies, Huey’s better at science and given his close frinedship with fenton and how much that part of things seems to truly inspire him, i’ts what he was born for, and Donald just wants a regualar life and can’t manage his own life much less a company. 

Louie is the only one in his family whose the right fit to inhereit that part of his legacy and I feel that’s why he takes a special intrest in him and webby over the other two: While he loves all of them and will clearly again leave a piece of his fortune and empire to all of them, Webby is the most like him, as we later find out not coincidentally in the slightest, when it comes to adventuring and curosity and a love of exploration. But Louie is the most like him in other ways; He’s cynical, money driven and passionate. Scrooge simply wants him to be as good a person and buisnessperson as he can be and is trying to push him in the right direction. And does so here by pointing out that failure isn’t a huge problem..it happens, comes with the terriotiry and as we’ve seen with life and times, even with portions of it clearly not happening in this universe, he failed a LOT to get here. What matters is that he tries and tries to do it the right way. 

Scrooge also sympathizes as he was buying a lemonade company in cape suzette, giving Louie the can as a present... but laments there’s no cheap effective way to deliver the lemons. Louie notices the harpies going after the can after he throws it and Webby controlling them with it and muses that theyd idn’t think about what THEY wanted.. nad rightfully gets punched across the lawn by Webby, whose had to spend an entire episode having her surrogate brothers talk down to her and ignore her valid ideas. She dosen’t even open her eyes she just bops him one.

So we end with Scrooge having enlisted the hapries, Louie trying to take credit again and both realizing they might just steal the lemons instead of work for them. Ha ha ha their going to get so sued. 

Final Thoughts: This one was mediocre. It has some good points, Louies arc continues to fascenate me, Huey’s done with this shit attitude is hilarous, and Storkules is at his best in this episode: his crush on Donald is toned down from this..

To this

To the point I could see shipping them off this one if Storkules episode didn’t have him do eveyrthing short of .. well see above.  So it’s not WITHOUT merit: I love me a ghost busters style plot, there are great jokes and Chris Dimatopolis is a gem as always. Glad he’s getting work after this show on Invincible and hope he gets to play Darkwing again some day. But the Donald stuff and the fairly predictable plot drag this one down. I’ts fairly obvious they’ll run out of harpies, Louie will have spent the money and they’ll somehow get free. It’s not a terrible episode but it’s it’s sandwiched story wise between two straight up classics on both sides: the previous two episodes were even better than I remembered and the next two are incredibly good: Whateve Happened to Della Duck?! is one of their finest hours and The Outlaw Scrooge McDuck, while not making my best of list for the series as a whole is still one of my favorites for the season.  It’s just disapointing this one wasn’t nearly as good as I remmebered and it’s understandable why I forgot almost all of it, unlike the previous two episodes. Thankfully as I said better’s over the horizon.

NEXT TIME ON OF MOONS, MILLIONARES AND MOTHERS: I’m taking a break for a week. One of two weeklong breaks for the arc, the other being the first week of July where i’m on vacation anyway (Though i’ll be doing the episode I would’ve done for that week the week before to keep the pace up, so no worries),

 As for why, it’s my utmost honor to announce GOOF WEEK! Goof Week is a weeklong celebration of Goofy’s birthday. The idea came about because as I do for the big three, I intended to just do a shorts special. But Kev , the guy who made this very review possible, suggested doing the two part Goof Troop pilot. And since kev pays for a house of mouth episode a month anyway and thaks to you lovely people I hit my patreon stretch goal to review the goofy movie, I figured “why not make a week out of it. Hence Goof week. So next week we’ll have a review of the two part pilot for Goof Troop, the special Sports Goof, the House of Mouse episode Super Goof, your regularly schedule shorts spectacular, with The Goofy Movie for the grand finale! yaaahoooooieeee! 

When we come back i’ll be shuffling episodes around slightly so I can do the Della comics from the Ducktales Tie-In Comic before her debut and in time for Donald’s own theme week in June, i’ll be saving “Whatever Happened to Della Duck?” for the week after Donald Week. Instead next we get a fun wild west adventure as Scrooge tells a story of his outlaw days, his tension with goldie and his encounter with a certain robber baron as John D Rockerduck FINALLY makes his screen debut. Yee-Haw!

If you liked this review, subscribe and follow for more and consider joining my patroen, patreon.com/popculturebuffet. I have exclusive reviews, my most recent duck based one being an obscure carl barks story about wigs and the boys attempting to murder a guy with a blow gun, and your contribution helps me reach my goals and thus gets everyone, patreon or not, a bunch of neat new reviews. If you get me to 20 dollars a month, i’m currently at 15, EVERYONE will get a monthly darkwing duck reviews, reviews of the two remaning ducktales 87 mini series including the origin of GIZMOOOODDUUUUUCCCKKKK, and a review of the Danny Phantom movie The Ultimate Enemy. And with the month running out NOW’S the time to join. YOu’ll also get to pick one of the shorts for my Donald Duck birthday specail next month, so if you want to join in NOWS the time. But wether you can or you can’t, thank you for reading, i’ts been a pleasure. 

[erin-bo-berin]

Cupid

MASTERLIST

This was requested by @sundippedprincess​ I’m pretty sure! Oh man, don’t we all love some daddy Spencer? I couldn’t resist writing this cute little fluff piece. Hope it’s a good start to all of you guys’ Mondays. Happy reading!

Spencer Reid/Reader

Rating: G (fluff)

Word Count: 4,773

For as long as you could remember, you wanted to be a teacher.

Apparently, after coming home from your first day in kindergarten, you had announced to your parents that you wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. Twenty years later, you were living your dream.

Your kindergarten kids were your whole life. You always loved seeing them, watching them grow and learn. You typically dreaded summer vacation because you missed your kids and teaching so much, despite the few months of break.

This was only your second year of teaching, but you were enjoying it just as much as your first. It was tough saying goodbye to the first group of students, but it made it worth it when you saw them in the school halls and some still ran up to greet you.

School had just let out for another day and you already missed the bright young minds of your students. You were cleaning up your classroom before working on some grading when you heard a small voice coming from your doorway.

“Miss Y/L/N?”

You turned and saw a little girl with light brown curls and a turquoise blue backpack standing in your doorway, looking hesitant. She was one of your best behaved students, Ayla Reid.

“Ayla! Did you forget something?”

She shook her head, her ponytail bouncing with the movement.

“My daddy is late and they told me at the office to come stay with you instead of waiting outside by myself. Is that okay?”

She was the sweetest little girl. She was a bright little girl as well, having no trouble with soaking up new knowledge like her brain was a tiny sponge. She was always kind and helpful when it came to other classmates, but she never hesitated to speak her mind. All in all, she was an outgoing, bubbly little girl with a heart of gold.

“Of course, sweetie. Come on in.”

You took the chair to her desk off the top of it, setting it back on the floor so she could sit in her usual place.

You peeked over your shoulder as you headed to your arts and crafts station to see her settling in to her normal desk. You grabbed some paper and crayons and walked back to her with them in hand.

“Would you like to color while you wait?”

She nodded, smiling big.

“I love to color!”

You laughed, knowing that all too well. It was one of her favorite activities when doing schoolwork. 

“Is your daddy always late when picking you up?” you asked, sitting back down behind your desk.

“Yeah. Sometimes it’s just a few minutes, but he’s never been this late,” she answered.

She’d already opened the box of crayons and was starting to draw before you’d even asked your question.

You glanced at the clock in your room to see it was nearing 3:15. School let out at 2:30–Ayla’s father was nearly an hour late.

“This doesn’t happen all the time,” she said, “‘Cause sometimes my mommy picks me up.”

You understood that. Plenty of your students had parents who worked full time and was occasionally late to pick them up.

She said nothing else as she was busy with her picture, so you started sorting through the turned in work for the week so far. You would have to log in grades and update the grades later on so it was just easier to get through this first step now.

“My daddy works a lot,” Ayla said out of the blue.

You looked up, smiling, seeing her still hard at work with her crayons.

“What does he do?” you asked, interested.

“He’s a pwofiler. I’m not quite sure what that means but he works in the FBI. That’s like the police but more important.”

You chuckled. She wasn’t one to miss much. When you’d said she was incredibly smart, you hadn’t been exaggerating.

“That sounds like a very interesting job. I’m sure you’re incredibly proud of him, Ayla,” you said.

“Mhm,” she nodded big, looking up from her picture, “He’s very smart too. He’s got a robotic memory!”

You raised a brow, not quite sure what she meant, but laughed anyway.

“Is that so? That’s impressive.”

“He a docta. But not like the ones you go to when you’re sick.”

She went back to the picture and you watched her for a moment, amused. There was so much energy and spunk in this little girl. You wouldn’t doubt for one minute that her parents had their hands full with her.

“Can I show you my picture?” she asked.

“Of course, let me see.”

You stood up, walking over to her desk, crouching to her level.

On it, there were several stick figures.

“Oh that’s beautiful,” you grinned, “Are these your friends?”

“No, these my aunties and uncles at the BAU. That’s where my daddy works.”

“I see,” you said, listening intently.

“This my daddy,” she pointed to the tallest of the group.

“This is auntie Emily, auntie JJ, auntie Penelope and auntie Tara.”

She smiled proudly as pointed at the obvious female stick figures.

“And what about these three?” you asked, motioning to a group of men.

“That is uncle Luke, uncle Dave and uncle Matt. The two on that side are uncle Hotch and uncle Derek. They don’t work with my daddy anymore but they still my uncles.”

“Wow, you’ve got a lot of extended family, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she beamed.

“Ayla, honey, I’m so sorry.”

You stood up from where you were crouching next to Ayla to see a quite tall man walking into your classroom, a tan, leather satchel slung over his body.

“Daddy!” Ayla squealed, jumping out of her seat, running towards him.

She collided into his legs, hugging him and he picked her up with a big smile on his face, kissing her cheek.

You took the moment to get a better look at him, now that he was closer.

He was undeniably attractive, but didn’t seem to be the type that flaunted his looks either. His light brown hair was as curly as his daughter’s and looked to be in a bit of disarray, part of it falling over his forehead while other curls fell in numerous directions.

He was outfitted in a work suit, a tie and sweater underneath his suit jacket. He pulled it off very well.

His eyes gleamed as he looked at his daughter and she kissed his stubbled cheek. You didn’t fail to notice his sharp jawline or his easy, bright smile either.

“I’m sorry I’m so late,” he apologized, whether to Ayla or you, you weren’t entirely sure.

“It’s okay daddy. I like Miss Y/L/N. She’s pretty like a princess.”

You sucked in a breath in surprise, touched by her words. You couldn’t help when your eyes immediately teared up. It was such a sweet and sincere thing for Ayla to say and knowing kids were brutally honest, you knew she meant every word of it.

You cleared your throat, composing yourself when you noticed Ayla’s father watching you, eyes squinting in concentration.

He probably thinks you’re a blubbering fool, you thought.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Reid,” you extended your hand.

“It’s docta Reid,” Ayla corrected you, emphatically.

“Excuse me, I’m sorry. Dr. Reid.”

He chuckled, setting Ayla back down and telling her to get her things together.

“It’s no big deal,” he said, shaking your hand.

You tried not to focus on the fact his hand was so large in yours as you quickly pulled back, silencing any further thoughts.

“I told Miss Y/L/N how you’re a pwofiler and have a robotic memory!” Ayla exclaimed, as she cleaned up her desk, putting her picture in her backpack.

“Uh, it’s actually eidetic,” he said, flushing a bit.

“I couldn’t remember what it was called so I just went with robotic,” Ayla shrugged.

You both chuckled at her response, before turning back to each other.

“I was wondering how smart you must be to have a robotic memory,” you smiled.

“Well she was kinda close,” he grinned, running a hand through his hair, “Eidetic is just another term for photographic memory.”

“Oh wow,” you said, surprised, “That’s impressive. No wonder you have such a brilliant daughter.”

He smiled appreciatively and said his thanks before speaking again.

“I don’t remember seeing you at the Kindergarten registration a few months ago.”

“Oh, unfortunately I wasn’t able to attend as I was sick. My teacher’s assistant Mrs. Lamb stepped in for me. Apparently she was a big hit though because she got all the kids to believe she was from Old MacDonald's Farm!”

You cringed inwardly at your spiel. You were used to talking to five year olds and other teachers, definitely not attractive dads, let alone men in general.

You chided yourself again. He was probably married anyway and you had little business drooling over a student’s father.

His smile was on full display though as he laughed at your statement.

“Come on Ayla, we need to get going. I have to head back to work for a little while but you can hang out with auntie Penelope okay?”

“Okay!” she grinned, putting on her backpack and taking his hand.

They were just leaving when something made you stop them.

“Um, Dr. Reid?”

He paused, turning back to you.

“Yes?”

“If you ever find yourself running late to pick Ayla up, I’d be happy to let her stay in my classroom until you get here.”

You’re not sure why you offered. Well for one, you really did like Ayla, she was such a sweet girl. But you tried to convince yourself that it was just a nice gesture to hopefully make things a bit easier on him. You knew sometimes your parents struggled with finding someone to pick up their child from school on time.

It wasn’t because you hoped to see him again. Definitely not.

“Oh you don’t have to. I can try to get away earlier when possible,” he protested.

“No, it’s okay,” you reassured, “I’d love the company. Besides, she’s such a joy to have.”

He seemed to take a moment to think it over before nodding.

“I just may take you up on that.”

•

“Daddy, what does pwofiling mean?”

Spencer had just lifted Ayla into the car and placed her into her booster seat, where she was currently buckling the seatbelt to it.

“Well,” he paused, intrigued at what could have brought on her sudden question, “It’s just studying a person’s behavior. For example, I can recognize how you behave guiltily when you eat the last cookie in the cookie jar.”

Ayla grinned big, not in the least bit ashamed.

“But you do that with bad guys right?”

“That’s correct, baby,” he smiled, kissing her forehead.

He closed the back door and walked around to the driver’s side door, sliding in. He had just gotten his own seatbelt clicked into place when she spoke again.

“Daddy, I pwofiled you.”

“Did you now?” he chuckled, amused at his little girl’s comment.

“Yes,” she nodded, “You like Miss Y/L/N.”

“Well of course I do, she’s your teacher and she’s very nice.”

“No, I mean you like like her,” she emphasized.

“What makes you say that?” he asked.

“Because you’re smiling all goofy,” she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “You only smile like that when you talk about things you know about.”

He felt himself flush a little bit. It was true, he hadn’t stopped smiling since they’d left Ayla’s classroom. There was something refreshing about her teacher and he would have to be blind to not admit she was indeed as Ayla had said, very pretty.

“Are you going to ask her to be your girlfriend?” Ayla asked as he drove out of the school parking lot.

He chuckled at her brazenness.

“Honey, I don’t even know her. Besides, I’m too busy to date.”

“I’m busy too but I have a boyfriend.”

“You do?” Spencer asked, trying his best to hide his surprise.

“Of course, daddy,” she rolled her eyes, exasperated, like she was a teenager already, “I’m busy and don’t always get to see Michael but he my boyfriend.”

Spencer smiled to himself. Michael LaMontagne was his best friend JJ’s and her husband Will’s youngest son. He was a little over two years older than Ayla, but she always proclaimed that Michael was her boyfriend. The two got along extremely well and it was incredibly adorable.

He decided not to comment any further on it though because he knew she wouldn’t give up on it easily.

“Baby, you know what days daddy picks you up, right?”

“Yup. Mondays and Fridays.”

“Good. Since I never know when I might be running late, will you ask Miss Y/L/N if you could stay with her until I get there?

“Okay daddy.”

She turned to the window, watching the passing landscape, her previous conversation apparently finished.

He’d be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t looking forward to seeing Ayla’s teacher again.

•

Ayla rushed out of the elevator when the doors opened on the floor the BAU was located on.

“There’s my favorite girl!”

Penelope has been waiting for them, excited to spend time with her goddaughter. As she was her only goddaughter, Ayla definitely got a bit spoiled.

“Auntie Penelope!” Ayla squealed, running into Garcia’s arms.

“How was your day at school, pumpkin?” she asked.

“Good,” Ayla beamed.

“Must’ve been, your daddy is 15 minutes late getting back,” Garcia said, eyebrow raised in amusement.

“Uh, traffic,” Spencer said.

“No,” Ayla shook her head, looking up at Spencer, “You were busy smiling at Miss Y/L/N.”

“Miss Y/L/N?” Garcia questioned, her interest piqued.

“She’s my teacher,” Ayla explained, “And she’s really pretty, auntie Penelope. Like a princess!”

“Like a princess, huh?”

Garcia was now eyeing Spencer hardcore with a knowing grin. Spencer knew she would be all over this with a million questions before long.

“Sweetie, why don’t you go hang out with auntie Penelope now while daddy finishes up his work?”

“Alright. Come on auntie Penelope! I wanna show you the picture I drew!”

Ayla grabbed her hand, practically dragging Garcia towards her lair.

Garcia looked over her shoulder pointing a finger at him.

“Don’t think you’ve escaped my questions! We’re talking about this later!”

Spencer knew good and well they would be.

“So, a pretty kindergarten teacher, huh?”

Spencer startled, seeing Luke standing in the doorway of the BAU, his back against the glass door, holding it open. In his hand was a plastic cup of coffee that he was drinking. He’d obviously been here longer than Spencer had realized and had heard everything. 

“Don’t you start too,” he grumbled.

“Hey, I’m just curious!” Luke protested, following Spencer in as he walked into the unit, “How pretty is she?”

“Very,” Spencer mumbled to himself.

Getting her out of his head would be the best thing to do, although maybe not the easiest.

•

It was the third time that you were keeping Ayla in your classroom after school until Dr. Reid could pick her up.

You found yourself counting down the hours every Monday and Friday, waiting to see his bright and smiling face. 

You couldn’t believe you were looking forward to a maybe five minute encounter out of your entire day, but here you were.

“Miss Y/L/N?” you heard Ayla call from her desk.

“Yes?” 

You looked up from the learning packets you were stapling together for the new week.

“Is it okay if I feed Freddy?”

Freddy was the class pet, a neon tetra fish. He was a simple fish, one that was easy for new fish owners, from what you’d researched before getting him.

He was small, but feisty. His coloring really took you by surprise when you first got him. With colors of bright red and green, red towards the end of his body and a lime green towards his front with a turquoise blue duochrome look to him, he always looked festive and bright.

He had an automatic fish feeder, but every once in a while you let one of your students throw a small amount in for him as an extra treat.

“Of course,” you smiled, getting up to help her.

You walked over to the fish tank and grabbed the fish food, opening it for her.

“Now, just get a tiny little pinch, okay?”

She nodded and did what she was told, her face serious as she concentrated on what she was doing.

Stepping up on the stool you left in front of the tank—for the small kids purposes—she sprinkled the food into the water. Freddy immediately devoured it.

“I think he liked it,” she smiled, watching him through the glass.

“I think he did too,” you agreed.

“Well, what do we have here?”

You turned, seeing Dr. Reid walk in, a smile on his face.

Your stomach fluttered, seeing him again for the first time in days. 

“I fed Freddy, daddy!” Ayla grinned big, running to give him a hug.

“Did you now? That’s a very big girl task! I’m proud of you! High five!”

He was crouched in front of her, hugging her but then he pulled out of her embrace and held up his hand, which she high fived.

“It’s time to get your things kiddo, we’re having your favorite for dinner tonight,” he said.

“Chicken nuggets with sweet potato fries?”

“You guessed it! Now go,” he shooed her towards her desk.

You smiled, watching them. He stood back up, facing you with a small smile.

“I hope she wasn’t any trouble.”

“Not at all. She’s an angel. She’s probably one of my best behaved students,” you said.

“Now that’s surprising,” he chuckled.

“Miss Y/L/N,” Ayla called, coming back over with her backpack on her back, “You should come to dinner tomorrow night.”

“I-” you began, in attempt to politely turn her down, when Dr. Reid spoke before you.

“Bunny, you’re going to be at your mom’s tomorrow night,” he said.

Ayla’s reply was simple and to the point.

“I know.”

You felt your eyes widen and your face heat when you realized her insinuation. Dr. Reid looked just as flustered and thrown as you felt.

“Ayla, honey, you know daddy has to work tomorrow. Remember I told you I had to work late?” Spencer stammered, trying to say the entirety of the few sentences.

At that point, you just wished for a hole to open up in your classroom floor and swallow you. If it wasn’t awkward enough that one of your students had basically just asked you out for her own father, then it was definitely the fact that he was trying to backpedal on the “invite” and most likely because he had no interest in you, not that you could blame him.

“Daddy, you told me it’s wrong to tell a lie,” Ayla gave him a look.

You were sure at this point Dr. Reid had turned scarlet from his face all the way down his neck. You felt bad for him, but still felt the awkwardness of the situation.

“You said that when I was at mommy’s house last week. You said this week you wouldn’t have to work late.”

Somehow, this behavior from Ayla didn’t surprise you in the slightest. When she was set on something, she was determined to accomplish it.

He looked up at you, clearly uncomfortable but you spoke before he could, trying to salvage the situation.

“Don’t worry,” you chuckled, “Kids will be kids. Believe me, I know. I have 28 of them for 8 hours, 5 days a week.”

His smile eased a bit and you felt yourself relax a tiny amount.

“I hope you have a good weekend Ayla and I’ll see you Monday,” you said.

You couldn’t help but notice her pouty expression as Dr. Reid took her hand and left your classroom.

You almost had to breathe a sigh of relief after living through that awkward moment.

You had just sat down behind your desk and resumed stapling papers together when you heard your name being called.

“Miss Y/L/N?”

You glanced up, seeing Dr. Reid in the doorway sans Ayla.

“Yes? Did Ayla forget something?” 

You stood, ready to head towards her desk to check for a missing folder or a favorite toy.

“Actually, no, I did.”

You gave him a confused look before he began to explain.

“I was- uh I was actually wondering if maybe you’d like to get coffee sometime? With me? Or maybe ice cream or something considering it’s still pretty hot? Hot outside I mean.”

Your stomach quite literally did a flip flop at his cute, nervous, rambling. 

Here was a grown man, who worked in the FBI, had a child and could probably rival a Bachelor contestant, yet he managed to adorably stumble over his words as he asked you out.

“Well, I practically live off coffee because of my job,” you said.

“So do I,” he grinned, a small, new found connection between the two of you, discovered.

“But ice cream sounds nice,” you smiled, “Whenever you’re free that is.”

“Tomorrow?” 

“Tomorrow sounds fine,” you concluded, “Hold on.”

You turned to grab a sticky note from your desk, jotting something down quickly.

“My number,” you smiled, handing it to him, “Just let me know what time.”

“It’s a date.”

“It’s a date,” you confirmed.

“Oh and for future reference, I’m Spencer.”

“Y/N,” you grinned.

With a smile on his own face, he walked back out of your classroom, presumably to an awaiting Ayla.

You had to hold back your laughter when you heard her next statement all the way from the hallway, clear as day.

“I think I know now why uncle Morgan used to say you got no game.”

•

It was roughly 2 pm the next afternoon as you stood outside the ice cream parlor that was near the elementary school. 

You fidgeted in place nervously, wondering if he was going to show.

His actual asking you on a date was so sudden and abrupt, you’d hardly had time to wrap your head around it. 

With one glance down at your outfit, you tried hard not to criticize yourself. You’d changed about six times before finally deciding on a simple, cute, sleeveless sundress in an aqua turquoise color. It would be cool, cute, casual and not trying too hard.

“You look nice and cool.”

You turned to see Spencer approaching you and you smiled, relieved that he actually showed up and it wasn’t just a dream.

“Hot enough for you?” you chuckled.

“Too hot,” he agreed, “Shall we?”

He motioned after him and you walked into the wonderful chilly air of the ice cream parlor. He even held the door open for you; this man was already amazing.

There was only polite small talk while you both ordered; mint chocolate chip in a cone for him, vanilla in a cup with numerous toppings for you.

“Vanilla?” he raised an eyebrow at your choice.

“Only if I’m in the mood for a lot of toppings,” you elaborated.

You’d ordered your ice cream with Oreo pieces, rainbow sprinkles and chopped nuts.

When you both retrieved your orders from the counter, he peeked over at yours.

“There any ice cream under there?” he teased.

“Hush,” you chuckled.

You found a shaded table outside to sit at. Despite the heat, a small breeze occasionally cooled the temperature, making it a bit more bearable.

“So, Y/N.”

“That’s my name,” you smiled.

It was amazing how up until this point, you’d been so nervous for this date, but sitting in front of him, you were much more comfortable.

He took another lick from his cone, a thoughtful expression on his face.

“Why teaching?”

You raised a brow, figuring you’d get in a question of your own too.

“Why the FBI?” you inquired.

He chuckled, appreciating your challenge.

“I’ll answer your question if you answer mine,” he said.

“Well—as the story goes, my parents claim—I came home from my first day of Kindergarten claiming I was going to be a teacher, specifically a kindergarten teacher. I don’t remember this at all,” you laughed, “But apparently it was kismet.”

He watched you intently as you talked, eating his ice cream silently as he hung on to your every word. It was surprising at how nice it made you feel to know he was interested in knowing about you.

“I joined the FBI when I was 22.”

“Wow, that’s really young and impressive,” you said, eyes wide.

“Well to preface this, I was somewhat of a childhood prodigy. I graduated high school at 12 and managed to earn three PhDs by 20, plus two BAs.”

You stared at him open mouthed, your spoon halfway to your mouth, the ice cream on it melting and dripping back into the cup.

He looked embarrassed and a bit uncomfortable. Something told you that while he was proud of his achievements, he wasn’t one that really enjoyed bragging about them.

“That explains the title of Doctor and the robotic memory.”

That seemed to break the spell and his face broke into a grin as he laughed easily at his daughter’s antics.

“That child, I swear. She’s something else.”

“She really is,” you agreed.

There was a lull in conversation and you decided to ask him about what you were wondering from the previous afternoon.

“So...you and your wife are separated or divorced I assume?”

“Oh me and Ayla’s mom have never been together actually.”

“Oh,” you said, surprised.

It wasn’t uncommon for you to deal with divorced, separated or even single parents of your students, but to actually know the circumstances like this was unusual for you.

He nodded.

“I wasn’t in a place for a relationship and neither was her mother, so all we ever had was a physical relationship and Ayla was the result of that. We remained friends and co-parent now. She’s got a lovely fiancé now though that’s great with Ayla. But as messed up and impractical as that relationship was, I wouldn’t change it for anything though because it gave me Ayla and I’ve never regretted her for a moment,” Spencer said.

“She clearly adores you,” you smiled, “You’re a great father too.”

“Thank you,” he smiled shyly, “I try my best. But what about you, anyone special?”

He winced the moment the question left his mouth.

“Well if there was, I wouldn’t be here now would I?” 

You could help but tease him, flashing him a joking expression.

“Point taken,” he laughed inwardly, “It didn’t dawn on me how obvious the question was until I said it. I’m sorry, I’m not really good at this dating thing. It’s been a long time since I’ve done it, actually.”

He looked pained, like a teenager on his first date, but you found it extremely endearing.

“Well I think you’re doing just fine,” you reassured him, “Also, no.”

His brow crinkled in confusion.

“No, what?”

“No, there’s no one special in my life. Unless you count 28 five year olds,” you snickered.

Sometime during the conversation, you’d both finished your ice cream. You tossed your trash and returned to the table.

“I’ve got a few hours before I have to pick up Ayla. Would you like to take a walk?” Spencer asked.

“Sure,” you agreed.

The two of you walked side by side, chatting it up about a variety of different things until his tinkering chuckle made you glance up at him, curious to what he found so funny.

“What is it?”

“It just struck me funny,” he said, pausing to look down at you.

You stopped with him, waiting for him to continue.

“Who would’ve thought my five year old daughter could be such an adorable yet successful pint sized Cupid?”

You had to agree as your face broke into your hundredth smile of that afternoon. She had been persistent and it seemed like her persistency had paid off.

He was right though, you’d never in a million years imagined one of your pupils playing matchmaker for you.

But you were glad Ayla had.

How thankful you were to have her in your class.

“She was right, you know,” Spencer said, more serious now.

“About what?”

“You are as pretty as a princess.”

As you two resumed your walking, the smile now permanently plastered on your face, you could’ve sworn you felt his hand brush yours ever so slightly.

TAG LIST: @dreatine​ @reid-187​ @groovyreid​ @reidslibra​ @iamburdened​ @cindywayne​ @missprettyboy​ @hushlilbabydoll​ @sammy-jo1977​ @haileymorelikestupid​ @lemonypink​ @teamkiall​ @redbullchick​ @ifeelloved​ @one-sweet-gubler​ @nanocoool​ @delightfullyspeedyearthquake​ @unsteadyimagines​ @ughitsbaby​ @inkwiet​ @pennythetechgoddess​ @capt-engr-ssa​ @sixx-sic-sixx​ @spencersdolore @reidsstudies​ @disney-dreams-world​ @chocolatecalzoneherringbonk @mggwhore​ @andiebeaword​ @cupcake525​ @be-the-bravest​ @gretaamyk​ @hopebaker​ @prisonreid​ @httpnxtt​ @daviddoughboy​ @pastathighs​ @marvels-gurl​ @blushingspencer​ @simp-for-mgg​ @victorzsaszmydaddy​ @inlovewithamess @im-inlovewith-mycar​ @xshakesqueerx​ @queenofmischief​ @mattgraygubler​ @graceluvsyouu​ @itsarayofsunshine​ @alexisparmentier @la-vie-en-amour1​ @pinkdiamond1016​ @itsmytimetoodream​