#anyway im going through it right now
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#audio#*puts on my hipster glasses* i liked this song before it was on Life Is Strange#anyway im going through it right now#i cried for the first time in 2 years#anyway i want the leon kennedy tramp stamp as my first fandom tattoo#Spotify
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personal happiness or what the fuck ever
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#jeans here too but ssh#snap sketches#i havent posted anything in what feels like forever and i GUESS i have to remind people i do draw sometimes. whatever.#aka in my brain i have at LEAST a five-page doujin where this gets incredibly nsft but i dont have TIME for that these days do i#so for now we get just. these scribbles. ill be able to make something exemplary again someday i swear <- optimistic#i think im going to close my comms off for the rest of december once i get through the batch i have now#which ... doesnt sound hard since the amount i have will probably take me to the end of december anyway 💀#i just need everyone to believe me i have better visions for yaoifying issue 309 .... the opportunity is right there...#like wdym the dream sequence is gon end on a panel of erik's eyes as he reinforces the idea charles needs happiness like scott and jean's..#call up your ex. right now charles.#what got me peeved about this issue is i have no idea what color eriks outfit could be vjaeLVKEJARK its like.#is he wearing a lab coat over a suit .... i think thats the intention ... or maybe it is a trench coat....#idk shit for me to figure out if i ever get the time to explore this thing again#LIKE UGH IM SCREAMING i have Such Visions that i dont have time to execute and theyre killing me#maybe ill just write them down idfk <- trying to write fanfiction ends even worse for me than trying to draw#anyways. im gonna drive myself mad good night everyone#i have to go to a christmas party tomorrow night. later tonight. whatever.#BYE
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i have been steadily catching up with the mighty nein campaign the past few weeks after i fell off right around travelercon arc a few years ago.... i am ENTRANCED AGAIN and i have been doodling them while i put off thesis film work..
#jester lavorre#caduceus clay#lucien tavelle#mollymauk tealeaf#critical role#critical role fanart#critrole#the mighty nein#cr m9#cr campaign 2#m9#technically this is just lucien. because i didnt wanna paint the rest of his tattoos i fear. but im tagging molly anyways dont kill me#but he has the horn jewelry? i didnt think this through#and no i have no idea where his eye tattoos actually are#im on episode 136 right now. utterly captivated by whatever essek and caleb have going on#deeply stressed about the incoming end of the campaign though#what like 2 years late. LMAO#itseart
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am i even a real lukas fan without drawing his trailer design? so there’s that. also have some very sweet and gentle baja blast boys 🤗
#sorry for being absent kind of going through a lot of life hell right now#im working on something pretty angsty on the side#and working on finishing recovery too#its a lot#anyways enjoy#my art#jesskas#mcsm jesse#mcsm lukas#mcsm fanart#mcsm
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at the end of the day it's a relationship that inspired me to create again, to making edits and icons and even writing
it's the relationship that helped me get through some really hard times in my life
its the relationship I met really amazing people through who I now have the joy of calling my friends
#tbd#im crying yes I know but ive been so depressed#my life has been shit the last two months and this was my escape#like I know eventually this wont hurt as much and its just this week#and that ive made friendships that outlast a fandom#but Im still going to be sad#not to mention its like????#people have been harassed and sent death threats and was accused of faking cancer and we went through it together#idk this is rambling im just very very sad#ill find something new again I know but its just a lot right now#anyways I might take a break if you want to share discords if we are friends message me#911 spoilers
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Learn from who? Learn from you? You are still a brat. What do you know? You're only three years older. Like you are any better than me. You're 21, and still a virgin. What are you proud of? I think you can't do it.
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 06
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#userspicy#userrain#pdribs#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#*gestures at the caption* this is honestly the funniest argument they could possibly have idfk what to tell you. it's very ai di#meanwhile whatever's going through chen yi's head rn has recently been doused with 'the boss doesnt care abt me like that'#after watching cdy and zml at dinner. like chen yi already knows *before* ep9 & ai dis confession that cdy will never look at him#(the diff. between this scene & ep9's. is him failing in regards to the gang as well in cdy's eyes. he goes from feelings of disappointment#& irritability to complete despair and both times he drinks to cope. bc hes not enough in cdy's eyes in ANY of the ways he wants/hoped)#so honestly the crisis chen yi goes thru right here isnt unfounded at all hes literally dealing w an inadvertent rejection of his feelings#its chaos in his head and ai di is picking at him again and the wine is tilting in his blood and then- 'learn from who? learn from you?'#like what do YOU know about love ai di (WHILE CHEN YI'S PULLING HIM LIKE THAT-) so OF COURSE ai di goes for the deepest dig he can.#'i bet you cant get hard that explains how much of a coward you are'. its ridiculous the ways in which they push each other over the edge#but im ngl im kind of obsessed the way chen yi's tipsy line of thinking 'learn from you?' turned into the action 'fuck it learn from ME'#ANYWAY EVERYONE GO LISTEN TO 'LOSE CONTROL' BY TEDDY SWIMS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. THe most chen yi song pre-ep9
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gymnast kaito x sharpshooter shinichi meet-cute in the olympics au
#kaishin#i can already hear my brain going BUT SOCCER PLAYER SHINICHI RAAAAAAHHHHH#but shapshooter shinichi tho cmoooon CMOOONN#yall have seen the olympic athletes yall have seen the flavor#i saw yeji and yusuf and im like OKAY SHINICHI SHARPSHOOTER#also gymnast kaito this is canon in my brain idc#i would love to see kaito's floor routine like pleaaaaaseeee#also that one epke zonderland london 2012 high bar routine but make it kuroba fucking kaito RAAAAHHH#also also in my mind shinichi would only wear glasses and he'd affectionately call it 'conan'#idk a whole lot about the olympics and either sports so im not confident enough to make hcs#thats why im just yapping here LOL#might binge watch some olympics related videos and articles later idk#yell some hcs for this au at me I'd love to know!!!!!!#dc prattles#ALSO FUN IF KAITO GREW UP IN PARIS AND HE'S REPRESENTING FRANCE WHEWWWW#but it's also fun if kaishin are both team jp and theyret meeting for the first time yippeeee#akai would be shinichi's coach maybe 🤔#also i looked it ip and apparently karate was removed from the official olympic games FUCK but WE DONT CARE BECAUSE#OLYMPIC ATHLETE BESTIES SONOSHINRAN MY BELOVED I WILL FIGHT FOR YOU#anyway sonoko in gymnastics ran in karate and sharpshooter shinichi WOW WOW WAIT MY BRAIN HAVING A MASSIVE ROT RIGHT NOW#oh you just know sonoko does all those tiktoks with a shy but excited ran and completely forced to participate shinichi LMAO#kaishin meet through sonoko ofc 👀👀👀#sonoko and kaito are besties too and are familiar with each other for both being in the gymnastics scene#anyway kaito and shinichi meet and kiss and fall in love#ALSO SHINICHI THIRSTING OVER KAITO'S MUSCLES LMAOOOO#AND KAITO THIRSTING OVER A FULLY CLOTHED SHINICHI POISED FOR A SHOT LIKEEEE#oh they wanna makeout real bad i fear#ALSO KAITO IS THAT ONE ATHLETE WHO KEEPS STEALING THE CHOCOLATE MUFFINS IN THE OLYMPIC VILLAGE LMFAOOOO#the tiktoks of that guy was so funny lol i just know kaito would do the same#you know what maybe I should've just typed this on the post and not on the tags but it's too late now LMAO i want more of them tho omg 😳
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Friday Training (Sep. 27, 2024)
#gavi#pablo gavi#fc barcelona#barca#fcb#6post#pg6#i dont have anything original or insightful to say here#i just want it to be known that i have the desire to let out the worst most annoying reeee sounds whenever i see gavi#he looks so strong and healthy and ARMSSSS for days thank you amen#anyways if anyone actually reads my crazy tags please pray for me im going through a really terrible and difficult time right now#and i could use the good energy/vibes/etc#literally have been using football as a coping mechanism (thank god they're winning otherwise that would be terrible for me)
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A little segment from Toto's High Performance podcast episode that I thought may come as some sort of comfort to anyone (like me) who's going through it (no matter how long) [source]
Transcript below:
Toto: You see those individuals or you listen to us at the moment and say, 'well he seems happy now'.
The truth is, it always ends.
Even if you can't see light at the end of the tunnel because things are so bad, it always ends.
I didn't believe it would end sometimes, I had the support of my friende and family. Susie's been tremendous to keep the system going when I was not capable of doing it. It always ends.
You know, this is a phase of your life that can be days, weeks, months, maybe even more than a year.
But if you're open-minded about looking after yourself and speaking to somebody or seeking professional help, not go to the bar and have five beers with a mate who hasn't got an understanding of what's happening.
If you speak to someone, this is gonna pass.
But it doesn't mean you're not vulnerable for this to happen again.
I think I am, if I would have family or life situation that would be really difficult or bad, I am, I could falling into this again.
end.
#toto wolff#torger christian wolff#mental health#tcw.posts#video#did I share this bc im going through it right now & this part in the ep nearly made me bawl? mayhaps#but also. I want to share it for anyone who may need it <3#everyone's got their own battles going on in life and no matter what they are -#please remember you're not alone#like i know this is a toto blog but if ANYONE ever needs someone -#my inbox is always open for you <3#mental health is such a wild ride man and idk how I keep going sometimes#but anyways this isn't about me. FOCUS ON TOTO'S WORDS 😂
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TIL "Lay On Hands" is a paladin healing skill and I am blessed by this knowledge.
#moe talks a lot#oops i fell in love#cleric!right is forever funny to me because yeah its incredibly fitting for him to crave the power to heal#since he personally is so damaged and refuses to hurt others even in a game#but also he has such a foul mouth and you cannot remove that part of him ever#hes going to yell obscenities before he heals someone#like the joke of YOU HAVE UNO IT CAME WITH YOUR XBOX#is now YOU HAVE HEALING IT COMES WITH THE PALADIN#and then he just goes and heals karen while paul is like hey thats mean what if i want to bond with you :c#why wont you ever heal ME right i wanna be healed by you ! shes missing like 2hp what about healing my 10hp#again i have zero dnd exp and i am only learning from asking buddies who play it cause google sucks#i say that bc i tried googling something about clerics and it gave answers i didnt want to questions i didnt ask#anyway time to go perish personally im in so much pain and im v tired#for the record bc i know some people have expressed concerns in the past that im pushing myself too much to draw daily#its mostly my legs n feet that hurt constantly after work#my hand is still fine and while i do have some weird bruising on my arms (a mystery!) bc i bruise easily#its not me pushing through the hand pain or something bad like that its just i ache a lot
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I certainly have my own concerns about the treatment of moo deng but um. well i think some of you may just be racist
#this ^ isn't directed at any post in particular but instead a lot of comments ive seen. but now im gonna talk about other posts down here#and prefacing anything i put in the tags here with DONT TAKE MY WORD FOR IT DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH#but the biggest post ive seen going around rn about moo deng being mistreated and the general quality of khao kheow zoo is questionable#claims that the enclosure is mostly concrete seem to be false from all the sources i can find#the concrete section looks like its specifically around the feeding area which fits zoo care guidelines which specify that the feeding area#be a surface that can be easily cleaned separate from the substrate and is a surface present in other zoos#the lack of deep water also seems to be purposeful? older videos of the same enclosure show deeper water areas#and looking back through the news every baby pygmy hippo announcement from every zoo i could find mentioned periods where the baby had to#learn to swim and was slowly introduced from shallow water to deeper water as time passed#this was also corroborated by fowlers zoo and wild animal medicine volume 8 which suggests keeping the mother dry and then slowly#introducing water as the baby grows as a potential best practice#damn im treating this like a paper now. anyway the negatives#there are absolutely things that strike me as bad eg. public access to the hippos and the way the keeper interacts with them#for the keeper stuff in particular i'd really like to see input from someone who has experience as a zookeeper with pygmy hippos#the public access is something that i def think the zoo could improve on and even older footage from years ago shows people sticking like#selfie sticks and shit off the side of the railings and right into the hippos faces#however again the zoo seems to be making efforts to curb visitor behavior which is tough when you go from having 800 visitors a day to#4000+ and you can't remodel the whole exhibit right then and there#all this to say! just do your own research and take somewhat inflammatory comments on the internet with a grain of salt#also just to make it clear im not making any sweeping statements on khao kheow or the treatment of moo deng im just summarizing what i foun#based on what's being said in the most popular post on the subject ive seen.#for the potential like three people who will read all this hi :) hope ur having a nice day
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i’ve always found it peculiar how during meeting the chargers cutscene the game just assumes your character automatically understands what krem is talking about when he mentions binding (though, granted, it’s all very unsubtle). like, this is a roleplaying game. what if i want to play a character who just doesn’t get it
#dragon age#cremisius aclassi#inquisitor trevelyan#at least give me an in game explanation of why the inquisitor would Know this right away#it's not like transgenderism is a widely explored topic in da lore. the most you can find about it in inquisition specifically excluding#krem and seras countless transmisogynistic lines is one codex that mentions that some previous divine mightve been a trans woman#and the way it's written sucks ass. the infamous sex in thedas codex also mentions nothing on the topic of transness. so like#whats up with that#art stuff#before anyone says anything i fully realize how i look critiquing a bioware game that came out in 2014 on its faulty queer representation#please trust me i know. im just thinking out loud#ALSO. in case it isnt obvious. parsley transed they gender. the joke is that theyre a nonbinary femme now#its hard for me to show it through art because it would involve misgendering them but they dont actually start going by they/them pronouns#until after halamshiral. so like technically if i made them refer to themselves as he/him at any point before that it would be canonical but#its not like my art is chronological by any means and cannot be taken out of context by virtue of it existing as an individual post online#if someone were to reblog an art of them saying hi im a dude theyd go cool! hashtag male inquisitor. or something#the tragic case of sacrificing narrative in order to not get second hand discomfort at seeing parsley misgendered#ANYWAY..........
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Y’all thinking about an older Ares has RUINED me
#hyrule warriors#hw link#kheprri rambling#fucked by the ‘perfect hero’ treatment and is a little hit jaded and scruffy and i am INSANE FOR IT#he does not cope well and i love that for him#obsessed with him. been thinking about him for a couple months now for my wargod au and yall i cannot stop#volga gets the treatment too but its slightly less noticeable coz hes a dragon#also sorry about there being nothing going on. every time i want to start on something i get hit by just utter pain and cant focus#so ive just been playing games and sleeping trying to get through it lol#but that also gave me a lot of thinking time for the aus. especially the main one (and this one obv)#also sorry if u dont vibe with the headcanon/au. hes far from being a dick or entitled hes just tired of being perfect for others—#—and just wants to live in peace with his dragon bf lmao#2024+ is the era of khep(me) forcing myself to draw facial hair because ive always been afraid of not doing it right#actually i love drawinf facial hair and all hair in general tbh im just horrified of people being like ‘lol ur wrong die’ XD#anyways sorry. rambling. too many brain thoughts not enough outlets for#will be posting the mistflier species sheet wip on kofi eventually i just wanna type the words out to make it more legible#it IS still a wip and thats why its gonna be going on kofi until its finished#<- and also coz its tailnrr related
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Aloy: does it count as daddy issues if i just don’t have a dad?
Varl: in your case? yes.
#idk i dont have any photos to post lol#i mean i do but im too lazy to go through them and find ones i like right now#so#you get an incorrect quote lol#such a short little one#anyways-#horizon zero dawn#hzd incorrect quotes#horizon forbidden west#hfw incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes#aloy#varl#fable's quotes#too many tag variations for this because it could be zd or fw please save me#full zd... just hzd... full fw... just hfw... all of those... plus one for each with incorrect quotes at the end... aint no way in hell
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sorry if idk this but what do you think about Wordgirl now in 2024 do you still like it do you still want to make art or talk about it or are you just done with all of it forever and plus i seen that you haven't made art of it since 2022 so you just done with all of it oh yeah and what about The Magnus Archives + Wordgirl ao3 fic too like is that just going to be and i know that your working on 2 au's now just wanting to know that's all
My interests tend to come in intense bursts and then fade. Unless something like, big happens like it gets a reboot its unlikely I'll be coming back to it anytime soon. As for the fic I don't have any current plans to finish it unfortunately.
#Its so shocking whenever anybody mentions that fic to me#like its just such a specific combo of interests how are there this many people interested in it...#I have some fragments of unfinished chapters for it laying around but I was struggling to get them to work#and I definitely dont have the motivation to finish them now#If youre curious the chapters were going to be Slaughter avatar miss Power and Web avatar Mr Big#and possibly Flesh avatar Butcher but I never got around to starting that one#The Miss Power chapter was basically going to be about her having kind of lost her thread#I wanted to leave a lot of ambiguity as to what happened with her home planet#but she hadnt been in contact with them for agessssss and her radio is damaged and her ship is in bad shape#the chapter was just going to be her being like 'pfff I dont interpersonal connection Im doing great out here. Murdering. All on my own'#Well she has her little squirl thing but she treats him like an animal#mr giggle cheeks or whatever#anyway I wanted it to imply that whatever happened her bloodthirst was destroying her#The Mr Big chapter was from Lesley's perspective#She would have been one in a long long line of assistants that Mr Big went through like candy#Lesley is his favorite though because. while she is terrified of him. shes still willing to push him. to be honest with him#but she also knows exactly when to step off. when to lie to appease him#( its always a tossup as to whether he wants a sweet lie or the harsh truth that day. He can always tell either way#its a gamble he does to be cruel. She always picks right though. or maybe he's more lenient with her than he should be)#He likes that she knows exactly how to push him without ever stepping over the line#He likes that her guilt and revulsion are slowly eating her up inside but shes too selfish to leave#She likes being special. She likes the idea of ruling the world alongside him#She'll always be second in command but shell be so much higher than everyone else#and shes willing to do anything to get that#Mr big doesnt think shell ever make it that far#but he likes her anyway#shes the one assistant he'll be sad about dying#OK damn apparently I did still have things to say about this old fic DAMN#still not gonna finish it tho. they call me the struggler becaus.e writing is a struggle...
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How the fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk
#guys i have shit going through my brain right now#im so gay#she's prefect#were both Midwest saphic alt kids#and i was one highway away from knowing her#i mean for fuck sake she wore armor#and i dont have the money for armor so i make my own#anyway i drew this while having a crisis over how close i was to meeting her.#digital art#chappell roan#gay#my art#renaissance#lesbian
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