#anyway im crushed for my boys

[the999thstar]

Being into hockey in Canada like,

when we win: yay! this is fun!

when we lose: good god I hope those kids (read anywhere from 15 to 27ish) have good support systems. And maybe therapists. And somebody to give them a hug & tell them they're worthy regardless of the outcome of a game any game & not let any media or immature sports fans near them. My heart is crushed thinking about their hearts being crushed. And that age it's so hard to handle things to begin with. And they have such a crazy weight on their shoulders on top of that and

[puppppppppy]

id fumble him so bad

[wu-does-art]

dumb sf au idea where everything is the same except the gang all knew eachother since they were kids not pictured: todd observing the affects eating a bug has on sal. also bonus salvis i found in my files:

[skyshroom]

‘When you think about me, why do you always bring up the ball?’ Fabian is not beating the gay allegations this episode unfortunately

[nartml]

Saw a comment describe killugon as 'born to be brothers, forced to be best friends'.

And I just have to say that, out of all the things that have never happened, that has never happened the most.

[juneberrie]

i think we should kill all men

[theprincessandthepie]

LOOK AT HERRRRRRR <3333333

[spidermanoffical]

okay i got two likes so i guess theres an audience??

me 🤝 goob

making lewis a sad orphan

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

okay, fuck it. let's talk about remorse. more specifically, the lack of it

there was a post going around a while ago that claimed that izaya couldn't possibly have aspd, because he feels remorse, and its simply so subtle that it's hard to pick up on, and he simply hides it to maintain his image. given that this post is a jab at me and my work, i feel no guilt nor will feel remorse over jabbing right back.

(especially since, if you pay attention to the wording of the post and OP themselves, it's clear that they had a... certain other neurodiverse headcanon for izaya, and was for some reason mad at me for having a different one)

(but i digress)

let's talk remorse.

first of all, the "lack of remorse" criterion isn't, as some might be tempted to think, the most important "hallmark" symptom of aspd. let's break down how disorders are diagnosed!

in the DSM, disorder symptoms are classed into criteria. these criteria are sometimes grouped together. here's the criteria list for ASPD in the dsm-5-tr, the most current version;

under group A, we have the standard "this is what the disorder is like, and these are the symptoms of it. you need X amount to have this disorder." the criteria listed in groups B, C, and D are on their own because they are required for diagnosis. if the lack of remorse criterion was truly SO important that it was the hallmark of the disorder, the one symptom that sets it apart from all cluster B disorders, then it would be in its own group like those 3 criterion! but it's not, because while it's the symptom most people associate with aspd, it's not the hallmark of the disorder, nor is it explicitly required for diagnosis.

in fact, the main Thing about aspd is, uh, right there actually- a pervasive pattern of disregard for the rights of others. in layman's terms, aspd is categorized by a consistent behavior pattern of treating other peoples' boundaries, wants, needs, and human rights, as trivial. this overall behavior pattern is then identified by specific actions or feelings the patient has- hence the criteria.

i could end this post here, honestly- who cares if izaya does or doesn't feel remorse? it's not needed for diagnosis, and it's izaya's whole thing to violate the rights of others- he consistently treats people as his playthings, wether or not they want him to (usually not!) he disregards others' feelings (the suicidal girls come to mind wrt this) and is incredibly reckless with both his life and the lives of others. it's kind of a done deal!

but i won't because i have more to say!

so. izaya. remorse. he feels it, but keeps it hidden. he represses it. and honestly, he always has some justification or another for whatevet it is he's doing. his targets had it coming because they're monsters. or stupid and cowardly. or had it coming. or it doesn't matter because he's a god amongst men. BUT- he does feel remorse! ASPD cured!!!!!!!!!!!!

guys i hate to tell you this, but i've felt remorse before. sparingly, but i have. i am a Person With ASPD from Real Life, i've been diagnosed professionally and even had multiple second opinions check and re-check, to the point that it became a running gag. i, without a shadow of a doubt, have antisocial personality disorder. And I Have Felt Remorse.

(my verdict is it sucks and is terrible and i have no idea how you people do it. yall need like, medals or something)

because, as you might have noticed... a lack of feeling remorse isn't actually the only thing listed. now, a lot of websites don't actually list the second half of the criterion, they just say "lack of remorse" with no elaboration. it's hard to find a website with the proper informatiom on it, especially if you haven't read the dsm to see the full criteria list, so you don't know what you're looking for. truly, i don't blame laypeople for not knowing this- it's not easy to find short of going to the source itself

but if you're writing long posts filled with "facts" about a disorder that you do not have, you better make damn sure your facts are right lest you spread misinformation.

(hell, i HAVE the damn thing and i make sure i'm as accurate as possible, because i acknowledge that Having The Disorder isn't a ticket to immidiate expertise. but imo it's especially egrigious when you don't have it)

but, the criterion itself is defined as "being indifferent to or rationalizing" harmful actions. Or Rationalizing. you can feel remorse as much as you want, but if you stomp it down with justifications about how you were right, it still counts!

and finally, the name of the game with diagnosis of any disorder is consistency. if someone can make their abuser cry because of them and feel no remorse, that's not aspd. that's just a special case. if someone can make anybody cry because of them and feel no remorse, that's aspd.

similarly, if someone can make most people cry because of them and feel no remorse, with one- or maybe two- exceptions, that's... still aspd. because the behavior expressed most consistently is a lack of remorse. one or two exceptions to the rule don't suddenly make you not have aspd, especially if you have multiple other symptoms. (in fact, in some aspd circles people do talk about having "exceptions," kind of like the aspd version of a pwBPD's favorite person. pwaspd feeling remorse or otherwise not meeting criteria in incredibly specific circumstances is in fact a documented phenominon. once again, this happened to me and i've been diagnosed multiple times over. were all those doctors wrong, or does aspd just not work like you thought it did?)

izaya consistently represses most of his more vunerable feelings. that's another one of his main things. if remorse is included in this, which it would be given the pattern, then izaya most consistently does not feel (or otherwise accept) remorse. a few slips of the mask here and there, where he can't stomp it down or ignore it, don't change that the most consistent behavior from him is a lack of remorse. in fact, him feeling remorse here and there makes the portrayal of aspd more realistic, imo-

people with aspd are still people at the end of the day, and aspd is just another mental illness. people are varied, mental illnesses present differently in everyone, and people have good days and bad days where symptoms are more or less pronounced. any symptom isn't going to be set in stone in severity or even presence in someone's life- severity of disorder changes with age, someone's circumstances, or even day-to-day, especially with cluster B disorders, where the people who have it are defined as being "dramatic, emotional, or erratic" (pg 735)

things change. people change. mental illness isn't as simple as people think, and aspd isn't as different from other illnesses as you'd think. people with it- including izaya- will have their good days and their bad days and their rare moments where something breaks through the clouds and for one moment, you feel normal, however distressing the feeling may be

that's not proof that the illness was never there. that's just life with it!

[gxlden-angels]

On today's episode of Holy Shit My Childhood Was Not Normal:

Kurtis Conner being thrown off by the girls'/boys' bibles with the random "Dream Girl" and "Grossology" passages and shit like that in them

[scootszilla]

a wise guy and a lost dog

[benjamandoilovemybf]

I put this on my bio teachers fridge (replacing the blue tape square underneath that I usually pray to) because market plier is my new god (YIPPEEEEEE)

[queen-of-the-boos]

Me: maybe I should give cookie run a try again I'm sure it'll be fun and help pass time during this bout of depression!

New cookie:

Me:

[kairithemang0]

having the guy i genuinely enjoy seeming to enjoy my company and text me without me texting first is such a nice change of pace. he really does remind me of cillian (i think that's the first time ive actually used his name, but he just is getting old and yknow what he's not on here so i don't care). only like. less creepy. he's a sweet kid. like just this really great breath of fresh air in my life. and yknow what im just glad i know him. he's just such welcome company, i don't even care what he's talking about a lot of the time but his voice is soothing. he went to a museum and sent me a ton of pictures of guns and was like "Are any of these on the gun socks you have" like omg he remembered that i have gun socks i haven't even worn them to school he just remembered me mentioning them like do you know how good that feels???? idk. i just wish people enjoyed me the way he seems to more

[fujouppy]

realized i have a crush on my friend performed mind rituals about it posted so so much and now im in bed hugging my plushie thinking funny little thoughts. im mildly upset theyre not gay thoughts this time but oh well. idk how ill be able to face her on monday but whatever thats an issue for future me

[snixx]

got queerbaited into reading a book by chatgpt. is this rock bottom