#ive talking about cillian here. not by name but yall can probably figure it out
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having the guy i genuinely enjoy seeming to enjoy my company and text me without me texting first is such a nice change of pace. he really does remind me of cillian (i think that's the first time ive actually used his name, but he just is getting old and yknow what he's not on here so i don't care). only like. less creepy. he's a sweet kid. like just this really great breath of fresh air in my life. and yknow what im just glad i know him. he's just such welcome company, i don't even care what he's talking about a lot of the time but his voice is soothing. he went to a museum and sent me a ton of pictures of guns and was like "Are any of these on the gun socks you have" like omg he remembered that i have gun socks i haven't even worn them to school he just remembered me mentioning them like do you know how good that feels???? idk. i just wish people enjoyed me the way he seems to more
#kairying in here#i wanna pet his head and rest my head on his shoulder and lay gentle kisses on his skin#i want him to pick me up and twirl me around because he's literally so fucking charming#like idk he's like. again he's cillian but better#he's cillian with charm and like. less of an asshole#ive talking about cillian here. not by name but yall can probably figure it out#maybe my type in men is just cillian#guys who are like just a bit ugly but who are willing to put up with me#and a bit more mature#cillian wasn't mature. but he sometimes was#he's not like. the usual asshole teenage boy#yknow?#anyways uh. gonna probably keep crushing#haven't had a real crush in like over a year now it's sorta weird#idk i just. miss being in his presence. and im debating on texting him but idk what to say#bcs i suck at conversations and small talk#idk can he just sit next to me and let me play with his hair???? pls???#can he hold me and can we watch vines together?
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