#anyway idk what this is. it’s sunday and slow at work so i am just thinkin’ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ocean-anchored · 2 years ago

Text

Dear Future Self... June 13, 2023

I’ve been procrastinating hard. I don’t know why, it’s not like life hasn’t been good, I think I’ve just been on a high and go go go the last several months that I don’t spend too much time sitting and thinking. Allowing myself to fully feel out my thoughts, to process or anything. I have these quick thoughts that come in and pass through. I think of things that I want to make note of and write for my update but it’s like a sentence, it’s not an emotion. It’s not deep, it’s just as though I’m writing out an event or something that happened rather than the emotion behind how I felt. Anywhoo. Vegas won tonight! I watched the game and they absolutely destroyed. What an amazing team and season, they totally deserved it and I’m so stoked for them. Work has been going well. It’s been slow and not busy with Danny’s side, I haven’t been working too much honestly but I’m trying to now with some extra time to accumulate hours and keep the income. I paid my taxes for last year which was just under $3K which wasn’t too bad. I created a Business Number today and now have to figure out how to get a GST number next. Work with Ed has been great still. Learning a lot and things are always changing which keeps me on my toes. The direction is endless, there’s so many ways and routes and channels he’s going but I still thoroughly enjoy it and am really blessed to be working for him. I want to spend a little more time in listening and understanding the things he’s teaching. Our last friday training lunch was about Self, Other and Context as well as the OD/Work Culture ring he designed about where to fit in, internally or externally. Understanding more on looking at Self, Other and Context to become a better assistant to him and relieve more from his plate. Everything else is going pretty good. Still had been spending a lot of time (most my nights) with Zack. I’m trying to remember the last update I gave.. I don’t know if I really did one much. Amber and Naythan met Zack two weeks ago and then Amber & I went to Jeremiahs for his birthday cocktail night which was fun. Met Daniel another australian that was hilarious. Gray’s birthday party was that sunday which I can’t believe he’s going to be 2 soon. He’s growing up so fast, I made a 2 shape out of cupcakes in a race car track theme which turned out well. Went to the driving range with Abigail last week to practice more golf, Nova turned 5 last Thursday as well. I can’t believe it, she’s my whole world. I spoiled her but she deserved it. Zack was gone that night to Sask, went paddleboarding with Amanda which was nice. It’s been good to spend time with her. We’ve been talking about going to Silverwood theme park. I really want to but part of me also doesn’t, idk why. Zack will probably be gone then anyways because his work is picking up so I won’t see him as much but I just don’t want to have to arrange and pay for Nova care, and even though she said they would “pay” for the hotel etc I don’t want to feel that burden and like I owe them. I know they wouldn’t ever make me feel that way but idk, feels too hard with my work schedule being gone 3 days and having to work nights to catch up. We’ll see, haven’t fully made a decision yet. Last weekend Zack & I helped Amber & Naythan rip down their fence, we also had Senior’s pizza which was absolutely delicious. Saw the new spiderman movie with Steven, amanda and Cloude which was really good. I’ve been getting this weird reaction or allergy to something I’m still trying to source out. I had thought it was syasilic acid face oil but I backed off that, then I thought it was my mascara, now I’m thinking its the SPF bb cream so I stopped using that. Frustrating but the last day has been a bit better and my eyes aren’t fully burning anymore. I haven’t been eating very good lately, nor have I been watching my spendings either. I also just bought a portable cooler humidifier cause its been brutally hot lately and almost unbearable to sleep. Zack and I have just been going out too much, enjoying time together. We’ve spent a lot of time together but we’re at the comfortable point of not feeling like we have to entertain each other, just want to be in the presence of the other which is nice. He really does love me and I can tell. It’s really cute how he can get jealous though, reminds me how much he cares. I still fully trust him. He’s never given me any reason or any red flag to not trust him... like legit he’s so honest and is basically me in a man with values and the importance of honesty and communication etc. Like we’ve had two instances so far with miscommunication. One was when he (oh my side tangent of how I really hate that he got back into smoking.. hope that one dies out soon. we both know he can quit but yuck) had bought cigars for us before canmore and I had made a joke which turned out to not be funny I later realized, about how he should have a lighter for all his cigarettes. He didn’t like that one and I didn’t realize thats what it was about because it was an honest joke and I wasn’t mad. He was silent on that walk, I definitely knew and felt we were off. Came back home and had tried to get him to talked. I remember the feeling, I felt gross. It was literally 2 weeks into us seeing each other just before we went to canmore and I felt miserable, I really thought he hit a switch of not wanting to be with me or something, he was so distant. I finally got him to talk cause we went outside (I get it that he felt uncomfortable with Bob in the other room & wanted privacy) and then we easily just talked about it that it was a trigger and he thought I was mad at him for some reason and my “joke” wasn’t funny which we so easily communicated after to clear things up. It was actually right after that.. I remember exactly, we were about to walk back inside and he hugged me and said he was worried about his past, he was worried that I would think of him differently and hold something against him in a way? I said “who you were before I met you is a past version of yourself, I’ve fallen for who you are today, who you are right now” and he looked at me and said I love you. Precious. Ill remember that moment forever. Anyways, second “miscommunication” was a few weeks after that (I make it sound like its far a part but we’ve literally only been together for like 6-7 weeks. A month and like a week or whatever). He was going to come over, he was super tired from work an said it would be a little bit and I said to let me know & that I was going to Newcastle to watch the Knights game till he was ready to come. Anyways, turned out that he kept pushing coming over and then said he was too tired, we didn’t really go to bed the best way, neither of us slept much and when we talked about it the day after he thought that was me saying that I wanted the night away from him by going to the pub, he didn’t know i went alone haha, but he thought I went with Cody and wanted time away from him as well as being anxious about work and stressed. We talked it through just as easy. Past that there’s been no communication issues. He’s just straight up. It’s honestly so different than Richardt.. or even anyone for that matter. Like the other week when he was away and I stayed up super late for his facetime but he never did, I admit i sent a slightly passive aggressive text at 3am when I woke up and his morning text was saying he thought I fell asleep because he called me and I didn’t answer. He even showed me after that he did try to call so idk why it didn’t come through then and he made a point that he’ll text next time. I didnt even have to ask that which is stupid and basic but just really refreshing how honest he is and how much he does try and put in effort. Hes been gone since yesterday morning and he’s made efforts to text and facetime me. He won’t be back till friday or saturday I think which sucks man. I miss him a lot. He always makes me feel so damn special though. Tells me every day how pretty I am and makes me feel like I’m the only one. He’s so easy to talk to. Like easy to feel that he can be that best friend, that kind of relationship you always want. He always makes me laugh, we have such a playful side but we still have serious conversations. Ive met a few of his friends and his coworker now. It’s actually funny how many people have told him how lucky he is to have me and how he needs to hold onto me. Like legit there must be at least 10-12 people so far, half being total strangers that we’ve talked to that have told him that, which is great for me lol. Solidifies my confidence. Man I miss him so much and it’s been not even 48 hours. Sure there’s some things that I wish like his craving for smoking again and hes very aware of how much he drinks and how much is too much but I know he enjoys drinking, I’ve enjoyed it too and I always enjoy our time out, though I’m thankful for how aware he is about all of that. Like honestly his self awareness with most things is just so attractive. It’s so refreshing and really makes for that extra layer of relationship. He hit it off with Amber and Naythan so well too, which I knew because he’s just like Naythan but it’s funny how much he talks around them which is great. We’re so on point with goals and our future too which just keeps making me question or wondering if what he’s saying is true. How much he wants to travel which is such a big part of who I am and what I desire. How important family is but understanding all aspects of what having kids entails. Like with Travis all he cared or said was he wanted kids and a family. Even when we just barley were getting by on bills and life, no savings, nothing that would support or create a healthy life and future for kids, nor even any regard for understanding the intensity and responsibility of having kids. More of the “lets just have them and figure it out” sense but Zack is so different, obviously because he has a daughter of his own so that’s a massive understanding but to be on the same page of understanding is just so nice. And his love for Nova just warms my heart, its almost like he loves her as much as I do, but he also has made comments about how he can see how much I love her and care for her which is nice. He does notice the details and the little things. Again such a huge difference especially from Richardt. Like what Zack knows about me and who I am and what I’ve come from is literal night and day to Richardt, who I was seeing for friggin what, almost 5 months? I’ve been seeing Zack for just over a month and he knows me 100x better and deeper and has put in 100x more effort. He lives in Airdrie and yet still makes continuous points to ensure that we’re both equal and that I’m still doing things I want to do, he’s always asking me what I want. Anyways, I’m getting tired and I need to text Zack to tell him how much I miss him now before bed. I do keep saying but I wanted to get better at writing and not missing all the little things. Writing more emotion in my posts of reflecting. I know I posted a note a few weeks ago probably before my last update which was from that night of when I went to Newcastle and Zack didn’t end up coming over and our miscommunication and it’s still good to write that out. I was in fear and I was feeling so vulnerable and it’s ok. What’s different from that versus what and how I used to write these posts about Richardt or even Travis was the mere fact that what I was writing was red flags. I was silently acknowledging the issues and hoping that they would resolve over time rather than seeing it was a flag that hey this isn’t a good thing and won’t necessarily change. Whereas with Zack it’s my fear of loosing him and being vulnerable and hurt again. I don’t actually believe he would hurt me and I trust him 100. More to come... as well as getting back into shadow work... also really want to pick that back up again. Catch ya in a week.. or two.

#dear future self #dearfutureself #life update #monthly update #ZP

3 notes · View notes

hospitalterrorizer · 9 months ago

Text

diary196

3/29-30/2024

friday - saturday

weird dream last night.

it was somewhere in the midwest, one thing i remember, we were on a train, we saw all these old west horsedrawn carriages, the kind people died on in their way out west, they were plowing land though, it reminded me of the dustbowl, it was a snow storm and there was dust in the air too. it was murky how the sea is murky but it was dry. the snow was dry. but it was snow. it was lit by these impossible spotlights, we seemed stationary, they seemed faster than us, maybe the analog is that it was an atmospheric film grain and that was us seeing through time, but not really. it was time through film grain but it was concurrent. that was real. the society out there was different. they were harvesting the earth to help kill animals better, was the gist, it was part of industry, we arrived at this huge meat packing plant, but we were in this office-building portion, the death was far away, you could see it, though, i think i found it all, crawling up into those panels you can push away, into an attic thing i guess, and i saw them killing things, it seemed slow and official. the computers were those old off-white plastic towers, crts. it was a cluster of kinds of old. i am unsettled by the existence of peasants in my dream. it feels like it communicates something horrifying to me, not just of class or discipline or whatever one might like to see in it, but the speed at which they worked, their being so trapped in a past, their methods of working, it was set to outpace something, it was more destructive than anything else, it was this situating thrust beneath an empire, it was going to rove until the world was skinned, is how i felt seeing them through the snow, on that train.

what we were doing in that massive meat packing plant, i do not recall. i recall seeing something, a cave painting on a huge wall perhaps, or something of this character, huge and ancient, in a building architected in part by the year 1993. the other part, too old to know maybe.

something strange about a dream that draws forth some humanized and unwavering image-ification of the phrase 'processing power.'

anyways, today i worked for a long time. what is there to say other than it's miserable and my body hurts. oh well. i have to do it again tomorrow, and i'm sleepy now, so maybe i should just sleep now, i put out a single so maybe this is a good time to rest, and tomorrow i can probably get more on it, and sunday, i want to transcribe ideas from my notes into the big thing, but drawing made me think of something to write for it, so i wrote that today, which makes me feel good.

i will say, today i did not eat for 12 hours, about, and i can't keep doing this to myself. i had to walk into a buffalo wild wings on the way home from work and get a drink and the woman there saw i worked in about the same plaza, and gave me a free drink. this is what made me feel strong enough to walk home. tomorrow i promise to bring a protein bar or something. i have eaten now and stuff at least. so that is good. but i do hurt more than i normally would i think, because of my...idk. is it disordered eating. i really don't want to eat before work and i see it as a good thing some days to have a caloric deficit. but maybe that's messed up of me.

i am tired and stuff though, i will say that the reading is interesting and good, we're getting to what i think is the final bit of the book, where he talks about panopticism, again, an interesting and hardly talked about history here, this is also where one of the big excerpts of him i read is from, years ago, for a class. because of that, and because i had to present on him to teach him to the class, i became i think decently familiar/had a good understanding. it'll be interesting to read it now. i think one of my favorite points that we are maybe quick to forget about this kind of power is really that it is founded largely on the fact that a guiding force of the power may be absent, because the structures, repeated rituals, methods, and so on, go beyond any person using them, they are mechanically reproducible. i suppose then that it makes a lot of sense that in many ways the methods of panopticism, surveillance, and discipline, becomes industries which produce commodities. odd feedback there. should consult tiqqun maybe, on these thoughts.

anyhow i really must be sleeping soon, so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 note · View note

idleglowingpixels · 2 years ago

Text

Can't remember if I said this already or not, but I finished the drawing I had made, I'm just nervous about posting it XD Bianca's not really in Ch. 6 outside of the beginning if memory serves me right, so it doesn't exactly fit with the chapter but I might release it with the next update anyway

Incoming ramble, only adding the Keep Reading thing so this long post doesn't clutter my blog as you scroll haha, it's kind of an XXY mini-update but also just a blog update in general

I think my main thing is that initially, I wanted to keep my Tumblr & AO3 separate from my main accounts but my art style would very clearly give me away if you happened to find my main username. But at the same time I also...Don't really care??? Like I'm a very passionate person about the things I make, and while it may be seen as cringe or some stupid shit, without fanfiction, fan art and just fan work in general I would NOT be nearly as good at most of what I do as I am now. Fandom over the years has brought me a LOT of like, unruly mess, but it has also brought me so far along on my creative journey.

In fact, the only reason my username here & on AO3 is different is because I had felt a sense of like shame in it at first ig, especially since I started on AO3 posting XXY at 17 and wanted to be able to abandon the account if I felt the need to. (Don't worry, I no longer feel that need, I wouldn't have made a Tumblr blog for my fics if I did)

But now I'm the furthest into XXY than I ever have been, and Ik the pacing has been relatively slow (we've progressed a grand total of like...3 days within the span of 5 chapters XD) but a lot goes on in the beginning and dynamics are re-established for the characters and the Teen AU thing -- point is, I'm proud of how much work I've put in and with I believe a 22k word count by the time Chapter 7 drops, that's already a lot of work I'm proud of for me.

Also since G3's release last year I've been working on releasing my Monster High AU character designs around this October/November (1 each day for a total of I think 33? Cause Jackson & Holt and Meowlody & Purrsephone were gonna have their designs posted together, I have to double check my list), along with a few one-shots if I ever find time to get around to them, and those designs do NOT take a short amount of time for me to complete so I was gonna be like "idgaf" either way eventually XD

Thing is I like both of my usernames so instead of altering all of my accounts to one or the other, my main will be where I'm more professional and focusing more on developing a portfolio of completed works, whereas here I'll just be a little more unhinged lmao

Might make an alt Instagram to match this account so I can focus my fanfics and art and stuff over to that account XD But idk

Now enough about me and my self-reflections, here's what to expect next month:

Chapter 6 is looking just fine for release on July 7th, I'm feeling pretty good about it (probably because it's Butch's POV haha) and I'm excited for his and Buttercup's dynamic to really be shown off since Chapter 3 didn't have them around each other much. I've got an event to attend tonight and a couple of things to do tomorrow but I should be able to give Chapter 6 the usual final edit on Sunday.

Like I said before, I'll probably share my Bianca & Barbara drawing on the Chapter Update post and I'm hoping I'll have a drawing of our 6 leads by the time Chapter 7 rolls around. I've been very much in an art mood lately so it's been taking up a lot of my time, and I've also felt really rejuvenated by drawing to get back to writing little by little.

Also before you ask, unfortunately I might have an update gap between Chapters 7 & 8, as my writing has been very slow over the last 3 or so months. I do apologize for that, but I hope you understand. The last few months have been a lot on me to say the least, but I love sharing XXY with you all, and I just really enjoy seeing emails from AO3 when I check it pretty much every morning. I'm so happy to have others enjoy my work. That being said, I'll do my best to make the gap as small as possible, and hopefully I'll only have to skip a month or something.

Thanks for reading my rambles, and as always, the link to XXY is in my introduction post.

#linposts #xxy #mini update #link in intro post #ppg #fanfic authors #fanfic writing

1 note · View note

jvkeh · 2 years ago

Note

idk if asks are open but can you do soft boyfriend!vernon smut because i am a SIMP for your work thx bb

was waiting for my first svt rq omg!! asks are specified in my pinned post (currently open) thank you for supporting my writing. i hope you enjoyed🥰 why did i actually turn this into silent hard, my bad 😭 theres a lil softness at the end

BOYFRIEND!VERNON

⤷ c.w cunt eating, dommy vernon, mentions of princess | seventeen’s vernon | © jvkeh

boyfriend! vernon is what every girl needs in their life. he’s attentive, communicative, funny and above all, extremely hot.

and he knew you knew he was hot. after all, if the moans radiating off his bedroom walls and into the ears of his members the next dorm over a few fridays ago was anything to go by, he was fairly aware of his effect on you. and your effect on others, he presumes, when seungcheol grudgingly berated him the morning after while covering his region with his hand.

so it made moments like these, where he came back from an mandatory early morning workout with the hiphop team, special. when he was still relieving in his post workout glory, coming home to you still in bed was the perfect contrast to the outgoing atmosphere that was the gym. and getting to see your face scrunch up in your sleep as you feel the empty pillows next to you where vernon should be, is even better.

“good morning, princess.” vernon smiles as your puffy eyes made eye contact with his figure from across the room, amused at your pouting face that showed you weren’t exactly asleep for a bit. “up bright and early today.”

you let out a yawn that causes vernon to laugh as you threw the blanket across the other side of the room, revealing you in just flowy white shorts and a loose fitting pink tank top, before you immediately spreaded your legs across the bed. “maybe because i was waiting for you to come fuck me.”

his eyes widened. shit. on a random sunday morning, you happened to be all worked up? but he wasn’t complaining, when you looked at him with fluttering lashes and he was basically ready to be naked in his revealing tank top and shorts anyway…

“i thought you had your eyes closed, princess?” he hummed, removing his top as he began to untie the laces on his shorts, mantaining eye contact with you. “or were you just fooling me?” he referenced to only fifteen minutes prior, where you looked pained as your eyes were shut. “did you have a scary dream about me?”

“i was having a wet one, actually.” you admitted, closing your legs instinctively. “you eating me out to death.”

that did it for vernon, who stalked across the room until he was directly in front of the bed, and grabbed your ankles, pulling you downwards until your shirt rode up, revealing the glistening layers of sweat from your intimate dream across your stomach. considering it was fourteen degrees celcius out, he was surprised at how hot to the touch you were. you were that riled up?

when his fingers ghosted over your cunt, mindlessly toying with the fabric of your sleep shorts, he felt a increase in heat compared to the other areas of your body. the muscle pulsed under his fingers, clearly straining against the fabric at your touch. you let out a pained grunt as you laid further into the bed, the coldness of his fingers contrasting with the hotness of your body.

“were you looking for me, princess?” he hums as he made great show of slowly removing your shorts, revealing white lace underwear that was transparent in the centre. a result of your dirty thoughts. “when you were stretching your arms out?” he asks, curiously. “wanting me stretching you for real?”

“i was looking for my vibrator.” you replied, exasperated at his slowness to sastify you. “because you are busy for me nowadays.” a snarky tone was evident in your sugarcoated words, a result of vernon’s early leaves and late entrances. even on weeekends, he still was absent for other things he had to do. so it made your interactions with him slim. holidays, people spent it with their significant others. he spent more time with the going seventeen staff during that period than you.

and it wasn’t his fault, you knew it deep down. it’s what he’s obligated to do in order to relish in the good aspects of his job. but it was hard to date someone for years and still be constantly unavailable. and when he was gone in the mornings, only the toys were able to relieve you.

but those words still sting to vernon. “excuse me, yn?” he exhaled, not wishing to raise his voice at all. vernon was not an arguer in the slightest, preferring peace. but it didn’t mean he tolerated badmouthing, especially not to him. “where are your manners?”

“out in the window with our sex life.” you quipped, a smirk curling at witnessing his anger slowly bubble to the surface.

vernon was a boyfriend every girl needed in their life, he is attentive, communicative, and extremely hot. but he’s also another thing, that rarely ever gets to rear it’s head at you due to the nature of his personality, dominant.

he shuffled your underwear down as his head immediately crashed in between your legs, making you yelp as his hands snaked around them, gripping the fat. you were at the very edge of the bed, legs stretched out and forcibly wrapped around vernon’s head as you felt his mouth attack your cunt.

“f-fuck vernon!” you whined out as he licked up the entrance of your vagina, making sure to lubricate your walls with his spit. “f-faster.”

he paused momentarily, still face down in your cunt as your face was looking up to the ceiling. “you don’t make the rules, princess.” he said darkly, before he went down.

he began to shift further into your pussy, reaching your clit. his mouth was like clockwork, working every crook and inch of your skin like he memorised it. despite it being months before you have been ate out, you can feel vernon’s muscle memory kick in with his familiar preferences of how to eat you out.

a finger sneaked in your cunt, rubbing the tightened muscles to loosen you up, more liquid squirting out at his actions. “fuck, princess. you’re so tight, i had to jam my finger in.” he groaned, his body replying to yours by humping the sides of the bed. you could tell he probably had his dick about to burst out of his underwear, as he continued to rub himself, too preoccupied with eating you out to give himself sastifaction. “called you princess too much, you thought you were one.” he said softly, reminding you of your comment.

you could feel your climax building up fast, as vernon quickened his pace of alternating between tongue and finger, using his thumb to rub you over when he got stuck in a particular spot. just from how quickly you were pushed off the cliff, you will never doubt vernon’s ability to please you ever again.

as you let out a cry, body stretching out until your chest reached the air, liquid landed on vernon’s face like rainfall. it took a few minutes for your high to conclude, which is when vernon sat up properly. his face dripped, a result of his amazing game, and his boxers were almost torn in the region at how stiff his dick stuck against the material. his self restraint was out of this world. his hands still gripping your ankles as he let go, opting to tighten them around your waist, forcing your head to look up on him while your chin relaxed on his shoulder.

“i’m sorry i’m not here often.” he apologised sincerely. now that you could see his face up, you can tell his eyes was laced with self doubt and insecurity. you loved it when vernon went silent dom on you, but you forgot the effects it had on his self esteem.

“i’m sorry i said that, i didn’t mean it at all.” you muttered. “i think you do a great job of being home despite your schedule.” you admitted, knowing you could never handle what he does.

“i love you, yn.” he says, eyes glinting with all the happiness of being able to see you in this moment of post sex glory. “thank you for staying for me when i’m not here.”

“i love you too, vernon.” you sigh into his arms. you wrapped your own arms around his waist, as he pulled you in a tight hug, kissing your shoulder up. and then your neck.

“vernon?” you questioned his motives as he began to go further up your neck. “you have anything to show me?”

he took your hand, before pulling it under his boxers. “yeah.”

taglist: @duolingofanaccount

#jvkeh #seventeen smut #vernon smut #vernon 18+#seventeen 18+#kpop smut #vernon chwe smut #seventeen spice #vernon spice #kpop idols smut #kpop 18+#pwp

314 notes · View notes

imonthinice · 3 years ago

Text

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 7/?

Word Count: 3.5k

Author’s Note: Y/N - Your Name, A/N Any Name (your best friend’s name), (Name) - your ex’s name !genderneutral (Don’t use a DC character! Y/N hasn’t dated any other DC character!) :)

3.5k words, my god. And they’ve still only known each other for 4 days and we’re on part 7. I do not know how to finish this.

Lol, Enjoy!

Warnings: Swearing, Heated moments, There is French in this one, No beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Falling asleep in Jason’s arms after that escapade the two of them pulled the night before was something magical to say the least. Of course, they only got like 5 hours of sleep before they had to wake up and get out, at risk of Y/N being caught in the building, although the thrill of it excited the both of them deeply, but that’s obvious. They liked breaking the rules already.

Riding back home seemed a lot less like a journey to her this time, she just wanted to spend more time with Jason, but he had work and she didn’t want to hang out at Wayne Enterprises. She’d probably go to the library today, she didn’t know exactly what she’d do today, but she always thought that was the most exciting thing ever. “I don’t know what I’m even going to do tomorrow,” one of her friends asked when she moved to Gotham, ‘How exciting!’ she answered.

That friend said the next day she ran through the streets of Metropolis with her arms outstretched like a kid, and she did it in Y/N’s honor. “I told you!” she said, “How exciting that sometimes you never know what you’re going to do tomorrow!”.

These thoughts swirled in her head as Jason drove her back home when, like clockwork, like it was out of a movie, he said,

“I have no idea what I’m even going to do today.”

She laughed, “I always say ‘How exciting!’ when someone says that to me.”

“Really?”

“One of my friends back home, when I gave her that advice, she then spent the next day running around the city with her arms outstretched in my honor, it was apparently one of the more fun things she’s ever done, so” she paused, “I really mean it. how exciting! The possibilities are endless, are they not?”

“Well, not really, I have work to do,” he frowned.

“So own it. Make the office your bitch. Take charge, take lead.”

“Why not?” he said in agreement.

“Why the fuck not.”

-------------------------------------------

Jason walked her to her door, “Won’t you be late?” she asked,

“Dad knows where I am, I don’t think I’ll have my ass handed to me.”

“You never know,” she laughed.

He laughed too and slightly pecked her lips. He wanted more, he was hungry for more out of that kiss, but work and life gets in the way of their relationship, and he really whined when he had to break away, but she laughed at it.

“Slow your roll Tiger, one day,” she mused.

“You say that like you don’t want more.”

“This isn’t about me,” she retorted, “So, shut up, respectfully.”

He laughed and kissed the back of her hand, “You have a thing for doing that, huh?” she joked.

“I literally don’t know how to answer that, I think I’m losing my touch with flirting,” he joked back.

“Okay, okay, you need to get going now.”

“Fine! You want to get rid of me so badly, I get it,” he joked and walked back to the car and she waved him off. She hated that time he left, a lot. She knew it was healthy to take a day’s break if they’ve been on 3 back-to-back dates, but that didn’t mean she liked it.

She opened her door and walked in, thinking A/N was asleep so she wouldn’t be barraged for her hair being a mess, but, boy oh boy, was this girl waiting for her to get home.

“What happened? Why’s your hair a mess? Oh my god, did you have sex?” she asked.

“No, but we kissed, will you take that as information while I shower or do you want all the details now?”

“You can shower, you can shower. I’m not that needy.”

“Yes you are,” Y/N joked and went to go shower.

And like she always did, she opened her phone and looked at the news before answering her friends,

Millionaire’s Son, Jason Todd's Girlfriend’s Name Revealed!

She laughed, cause it wasn’t her name. She didn’t think he was seeing anyone else, and they used her picture, so she knew they just fucked it. She forwarded the article to Jason with the caption ‘ Fuckin’ idiots’ .

She then answered Artemis, who asked Did you two kiss? Dick’s up my ass about it ‘cause he knows we’re friends.

I want to take that out of context so badly. She joked with Artemis.

I knew this man had a terrible name that would come to haunt me, but did ‘ya kiss?

Yeah we did. Get Dick out of your ass, though, that’s weird, you have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend.

Shut up, you’re not funny.

I’m pretty funny.

You are but I’m not going to admit that, girl.

And one of her old friends had texted her, it was someone who Y/N had seen off and on the past few years, they were polite, but she didn’t exactly want to speak to her ex.

Hey.

(Name)? What do you want?

Saw you in the news with the rich boy, guess we’re over?

We have been over for like 5 months, my guy.

Bitch.

Okay!

People from her hometown were noticing her in the articles and recognizing her. Some would think this is the coolest thing that someone they loved met a nice boy, the money a bonus, some would give her the reaction her ex did, but she knew she was days, hours, maybe minutes away from her parents finding out about her love affair with Jason.

She shuddered at the thought, she loved her parents, a lot, but something told her that maybe they wouldn’t did Jason to be like she found him. She also knew she could be overthinking it entirely and they’d like the Criminal Psych Major that she knew all-too-well.

But overthinking was fun, apparently. And she couldn’t stop thinking the worst of so much.

------------------------------------------------

When she got changed and just threw on whatever the fuck she saw, she went out to go talk to A/N.

“Hey, nerd. I’m done,” Y/N said.

“Nerd? You’re the one dating the bookworm and you’re in criminal psychology,” she joked.

“Ha, ha. So, how are things with your lover? Have you secured him yet or are you just doing your own thing still?”

“Still just doing our own thing, don’t really have the time to date while getting my degree and working.”

“I mean, if it works for you I can’t throw judgment.”

“What about Jason? How’re things with you two?”

“You ever seen the Wayne Enterprises Ballroom before?”

“In pictures, why- Don’t tell me he took you there you lucky bitch?!”

“Then I just wont tell you,” she laughed.

“The Ballroom? Oh my god, that’s crazy, he's really pulling out all the stops to make you smile, huh?”

“I would do the same if I had more to offer, but I have barely anything since I bought that place in the dance competition across the country,” she said.

Y/N had bought a place in this competition before she met Jason, and she was heading to it on Saturday, in two days, and she actually had practiced the routine during downtime between her and Jason. She hadn’t exactly told Jason about this, and Jason had asked why she looked strained and like her muscles hurt, but that just never seemed like something you share with your casual partner, to her. She never seemed like her casual competitions were worth anything. A/N had begged to differ since Y/N had met her.

A/N said that Y/N had talent, that she could go somewhere, Y/N saw it as an extra circular that didn’t affect her much. She wasn’t the type of brag, and all her trophies were back home with her parents, anyway.

“Have you told him about your,” insert A/N’s heavy sarcasm, “’Casual’ competitions, yet?”

Idk what the hell happened with that line ya love to see it

“I’ll send him a quick text about it, I guess,” she sighed and sent just a quick, Hey, can’t have a date on Saturday-Sunday, forgot to tell you but I’m going to Cali for a quick dance competition, lol. My bad, shoulda said something.

“Why are you like this, be proud of your accomplishments, dammnit!”

“It’s a casual competition!”

“And you’re talented! I’m this close to just showing him videos of you going at it,” she said, exasperated.

“He already knows, we danced in the Ballroom.”

“Oh my lord,” she laughed, “You’re an enigma, if I had your amount of trophies I wouldn’t be hiding it.”

“Im’ not hiding it! It just kind of never came up.”

And he texted back, Oh damn, are you at least going to kill it? You better, I want to show the live broadcast to my family and brag.

She laughed, “See!”, she exclaimed, showing A/N the texts, “He doesn’t care like you do, nerd.”

A/N laughed, “Sure he doesn’t. Do you want to go to lunch, by the way? I’m bored off of my ass.”

“Sure, why the fuck not.”

“Go get dressed then, and I’ll do the same.”

“Okay okay, meet up in 10?”

“Yes ma’am.”

And off they went.

---------------------------

Y/N texted back Jason for a quick minute before getting dressed, Of course I’m going to kill it, my notes aren’t a representation of my dancing skills.

Well, I hope you win something. And text me. But mainly win something.

Of course I’ll text you, Jay. It gets boring at competitions.

You should go to a Wayne Gala then, god damn, those fuckin bastards are the most boring events this side of America.

Well maybe you’ll invite me one day.

I’ll probably have to if you show up on National TV. The press will finally know your name.

I hope I’m not on National TV then. Fuck the press.

Fuck the press indeed.

Since Y/N didn’t feel the need or want to dress up, she didn’t. Quick shirt and jeans and she was out the door. Sometimes she would dress up for lunch dates with her friends, just because she was bored as fuck and dressing up was fun, but she just didn’t want to do it today. Combat boots, jeans and a shirt were enough most days. You don’t have to be a model just because the press knows your face, she thought, you don’t.

“Who’s driving?” A/N asked.

“I can if you want. I don’t mind,” Y/N said as they walked to the beat up car they loved so much. It was nothing compared to the Porsche she had been in the night before, but it was still running, and you don’t fix something that ain’t broke.

“Maybe your boyfriend will buy you a new car,” A/N joked.

“If anything, he’d buy me a new computer, since mine is getting mailed to me and you’re going to love hearing the sounds that bitch makes,” she retorted.

“Is it bad?”

“Terrible. My sister called it a screaming electronic goat once,” she laughed, “I hate that fucking thing. But if it ain’t broke-”

“Don’t fix it, I know.”

“Exactly.”

--------------------------------------------------

For some reason, they decided in the car to go to McDonald's, because hey, it’s not like Y/N is on a dance diet or anything. She wasn’t, because she didn’t want to starve herself for the sake of winning a competition. That was even her thought process as she was younger and more vulnerable to her teachers, she always told them she’d never do that. Years later, she still stuck to that mindset.

They got out of the car and like fucking clockwork, the press was in her face.

“You! The girl with no name, Jason Todd’s girlfriend!”

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!” she whispered under her breath, “How do they always find me!”

“Tell us about yourself! Are you serious with Jason? How do you feel about his family? How-”

But then she had an idea,

“Quoi? Je parle pas l’Anglais? Qu’est-ce-que vous voulez?” she said, using her bilingual skills to her advantage.

“What? No I mean-”

“Pas de l’Anglais! Désolé mes amis!” and she ran off into the McDonald's with A/N.

“Did you just speak French to get them off your ass, you genius?”

“Spoke very broken French because I wasn’t thinking, but yeah, I did that.”

“I forget you’re multi-talented sometimes, you have a lot hidden under your belt and I try to treat you like a normal person but you’re far from it.”

“I appreciate you for trying, but I think with my new love affair, you aren’t going to get far with those attempts anymore, sorry,” she joked.

Jason texted her, Did you just speak French to avoid the press?

How do you know about that?

We were watching the news during a meeting and they said that you spoke French.

You got to do what you got to do to get by.

That is literally the most genius thing I’ve heard of anyone doing in so long. I think you’ve truly bamboozled them for a while and they might hop off of your back for a while.

You think so? ‘Cause I really hope that’s the case.

My siblings think it’s hilarious, and no one’s leaked that you are just joking with the press, so yeah, they might actually leave you alone.

Let’s fucking go. That is the news of the 21st century.

4 days of knowing each other and you’ve flipped off the press twice, outran them with me once, hid in the Wayne Enterprises Building with me and you’ve spoken French to bamboozle the press. That is impressive.

I feel like the press is going to hate me one day.

Probably. But they also hate most of us most days.

You should probably get back to work.

Yeah, talk to you soon.

She put her phone away and went to stand with A/N, who was waiting for their food.

“Talking to your lover?” she joked.

“When am I not doing that?”

“That’s valid.”

-----------------------------

Going on a lunch date with A/N made a little bit of the harassment just better. They both bonded over how they hated the press before her love affair with Jason, and how their opinions wouldn’t change much unless, knock on wood, one of them went missing. Y/N told her about all the cases where the press and the internet did so much to solve cases around the world, love or hate the press, they did do a lot for solving crime.

She also told A/N that Jason was related to Dr. Barry Allen and Clark Kent, two people the two of them knew well because of the news and the fact that A/N knew Y/N when she wanted to go into forensics and was reading Dr. Barry Allen’s work.

When her mother texted her.

Y/N? Is that you in the press running around with Jason Todd?

Yeah mum, why?

Are you two in a serious relationship?

No mum.

Then why are the vultures so obsessed with you, says your dad.

‘ Cause you two made a pretty girl and he’s high up in the world, I guess, I don’t know. I don’t really like the press.

I can tell. We’re not mad at you honey, but be careful. And your dad says when you two get serious he needs to take Jason fishing.

He doesn’t speak French, mum.

Dad says he’ll work on his English for you.

Well tell everyone I love them, mum.

She panicked a little bit, her parents were nice when they wanted to be, but they were strict, why wouldn’t they be. So this, while being a welcomed surprise. was still a little panicky.

“Your parents find out?”

“Yeah, they seem chill with it though.”

“Bing in the press sucks when you’re trying to keep your love life out of your parents' eyes, huh?”

“You could say that again,” she joked.

“Being in the press sucks when you’re-”

“I didn’t mean literally!” they laughed.

--------------------------------

Back at Wayne Enterprises, Jason was betting bombarded by his colleges, friends and family about Y/N and how she was able to get around the press’ constant harassment without flaw. And also because Bruce had seen the two enter the building at around 12am the night before. So Jason was called into Bruce’s office that day.

“1, I know everyone is bombarding you, so you can hide out here, son, 2, you and Y/N didn’t have sex in your office right?”

“God no, dad. We just hid here because security is tight as fuck and unable to get past.”

“I saw you two kissing on the cams and heading into your office, Jay.”

“Okay, okay, but we didn't have sex and the intentions were there, dad!”

“Uh huh, pretty girl in your, my, car.”

“Dad, stop it,” he joked.

“Well, her little shenanigans with the press are very amusing, have you told her that?”

“I have.”

“She’s basically not afraid to tell them what we all think.”

“That’s what I said, dad.”

“Well, hold onto that one and don’t let her go.”

“Do you regret doing that with Talia?” Jason asked.

“God no, she’s insane. The son I got out of her antics is literally her spitting image, so if I need to be reminded of her I can just go talk to Damien for a couple minutes.”

“Dami’s a lot like you too, don’t act like his personality is just Talia, he acts like his dad in every aspect and you know that.”

“Lord help any woman or man that kid goes on to date, my god,” the two of them laughed. It was the small things with Bruce that made Jason happy to be a Wayne, even if he didn’t share the last name. Jason grew up on the streets and even before that, his mum and dad didn’t have a lot of money, so the amounts of money that Bruce could shower on him was a lot, but he was okay with just working for his money. And Bruce knew that.

He spent a lot of his workday in Bruce’s office, hiding from the rest of the office, and texting Will.

She knows about your kid.

Well, she’s a good kid. I’m glad you’re bragging about her, means I raised her right.

Shut up. I love that little girl and I’ve helped raise her, Will.

You’re used to my new name?

I changed your contact to Will when you changed your name, so I could remember that that’s your name now and not Roy. I’m hoping I remember it in person though. It would be awkward if I forgot my best friend’s name.

It would be funny to look back on, though.

Like how your relationship with Jade is funny now?

Never stick your dick in crazy.

I wish you would have listened to that sometimes, but then I remember Lian is amazing.

I’m a cliché of dumb choices, what can I say Jaybird.

----------------------

In Y/N’s house, she would always play loud and sad music when she had the chance, some people thought her mental state was fucked, which sometimes it was, but most of the time the sad music went harder than the happy tunes you would catch from the other side of the house.

But even if music was blasting the loudest it could ever be, somehow she would still find herself lost in her thoughts, whether it was new dance routines or a story she would scribble down in her dream journal. there was something about those little fits of artistic passion she would experience from time-to-time.

It’s hard to put into words how those moments reminded her of the simplier times before sh was thrust into stardom, but also how they reminded her of Jason, and untouched mind she longed to know further. She knew there was so much more to the boy she had gone on dates with.

She would end up ignoring her phone for most of the rest of that day, just because she wanted peace and quiet, when A/N’s lover came over and she had to turn the music up louder so she wouldn’t be disrupted by the obvious.

I just got off of work, how are you? How’s your day been? Jason had texted Y/N while she ws turning up the music.

Well, I just had to turn up my music because my roommate’s lover is over, but other than that I’ve been enjoying peace and quiet in my room, waiting for something to do.

Is texting me something to do?

Yes.

That’s sweet of you. Work was boring though so I hope you don’t expect a story.

I don’t, don’t worry. You don’t always need a story for something to do.

Well, I’m going home with my brothers and dad, and we’re probably going to play office chair racing because I’m a bad boy.

You’re a bad boy?

Was that not funny?

It was pretty funny, isn’t that dangerous though?

Yeah actually, my brother broke his leg playing it and another time my little sister broke her leg playing it.

It seems fun but like, damn, two people have gotten injured playing that game, y’know.

Well if I die it’ll be a fun story!

55 notes · View notes

glimmerglanger · 4 years ago

Note

oh ho ho, spicy Sunday? Can I request codywan, a/b/o? could be set in an already existing fic verse of yours or brand new!

:DDD ALRIGHT NICE. So I went with a new au and that au is a beta!Obi-Wan au. I am finally filling that request! I lost the ask last time tumblr updated (along with a few more, alas) but beta!Obi-Wan anon, this is for you, as well.

Established relationship (when is my spicy stuff not?). Set after the end of the Clone Wars, in an everyone lived AU. (What happened to Palpatine? Idk, something dire). Not safe for wizards. OH, this is ALSO a rut fic? I’ve had some questions about writing that, before, too, so!

~~~~~~

Obi-Wan woke up feeling warm and heavy to the sensation of Cody’s mouth brushing over his shoulder. He blinked, disoriented for just a moment. Cody had been….off on a relief mission, with Ahsoka and Rex. He’d not been due back for at least another day cycle. Which made his presence in their bed curious, but not unpleasant.

Obi-Wan always slept better with Cody curled close. He’d grown used to waking up pressed all against Cody, usually with Cody either sprawled across him or tucked against his chest.

Cody had a very high body temperature - far more than any nat-born Obi-Wan had ever met - and often felt cold as a result. When left to his own devices he tended to press as close as possible, looking for any warmth Obi-Wan had to spare.

He was not merely looking for warmth, currently. He sucked another kiss to Obi-Wan’s shoulder, rocking just a little against him, his cock a hard, burning line against Obi-Wan’s back. Obi-Wan shifted, a bit. He’d always woken up quickly.

Growing up in war zones had insured that.

It was hardly the first time he’d awoken to find Cody hard against him. But Cody did not typically wake him up with his urgency or need. Most days, Obi-Wan woke before him. He’d been delighted to find that, free from the pressures of war, Cody preferred to stay up quite late and sleep in.

It was still dark outside, Obi-Wan noted. At least it was as dark as it ever got on Coruscant. Faint light came in through the curtains and the chrono on his desk said that he’d been asleep a few hours, at most. Which was...most unusual. He typically stirred a little when Cody finally joined him in bed and settled again quickly.

Cody did not, as a rule, wake up him, rubbing against him and curling an arm around his waist.

“Mm,” Obi-Wan murmured, shifting across the sheets, feeling Cody tighten his hold with a little rasp of sound. “Cody? What’s--”

He cut off with a thick, ragged sound when Cody shifted his attentions, mouth trailing up his neck. He panted out, gathering his wits, waking up a bit more with each second, “You’re back early.”

“Yes,” Cody agreed, his voice a rasp, “I--they hurried back. For me.”

“For…?” Obi-Wan made to twist, and Cody rumbled a protest, pushing at his shoulder, rolling him across the bed and settling across him. Obi-Wan blinked, gut getting tighter as he assessed Cody’s current state in the Force.

He was all desire and want, fully saturated with it, with enough control that it did not bleed all over Obi-Wan, but only just. Obi-Wan groaned, absorbing the need he felt, the hunger, and finally waking up enough to rasp out, “Oh, oh, it’s--your rut?”

Cody nodded against the back of his neck, muscles tense as he shifted again, grinding his cock against Obi-Wan’s hip. And it was a surprise, still, a little kick of shocked pleasure, that Cody had come directly to him for assistance.

Some alphas didn’t turn to a beta lover, not during a rut. They’d….chose to handle things on their own, or end up at some dive bar, picking up an omega, tearing whatever relationship they’d had to pieces. Obi-Wan had seen it happen before.

Cody rasped, “Sorry about the timing,” and Obi-Wan shivered down his back, reaching a hand back, gripping Cody’s thigh and canting his hips just so.

“I don’t mind,” he said, the last vestiges of sleep brushed away from his mind like cobwebs, and Cody made a relieved, thick sound, sucking a kiss to his skin, rocking a little closer, cock sliding over Obi-Wan’s sleep clothing even as his fingers tugged at the waistband. Obi-Wan caught his wrist, squeezing just a little, “Wait, I need to get--”

“I’ve got it,” Cody said, thick, “I’m not going to hurt you.” And Obi-Wan felt a brush of anxiety fall away, before it ever truly formed. Alphas could get single-minded, in a rut. It wasn’t so much of an issue, when they coupled with an omega; their bodies prepared themselves, for the most part.

But Obi-Wan…

Cody kissed his shoulder again and then shifted up and away, a surprising display of control, with how deep into the rut he felt. Obi-Wan shifted, rolling onto his back and shoving at the waistband of his sleeping clothes.

Cody hurried to help as Obi-Wan got a look at him, finally, the lights from outside glowing across his skin. Cody’d left all his clothes somewhere else, bare skin a lovely canvas. HIs muscles were tense under his skin, his breath coming in sharp little pants, already, and his cock was hard, curving up to his stomach.

Obi-Wan reached for him, stroking, and Cody made a rough sound, reaching down to grab his wrist. “Don’t,” Cody panted, turning his face to the side, chest heaving. “I can’t--don’t.”

Obi-Wan made a quiet sound, releasing his grip, murmuring, “Sorry, I didn’t--”

Cody curled down and kissed him, keeping the rest of his body up. Cody rasped, a moment later, against his mouth, “I can’t think, if you touch me.”

“You don’t need to think,” Obi-Wan pointed out, hands sliding up Cody’s arms, and Cody made a sharp sound, reaching for something.

“I do,” he insisted, and slid down, dropping kisses as he went, across Obi-Wan’s collarbone, his chest, his stomach. And--

Common knowledge said alphas only wanted to get their knot in a hot, wet place in a rut, that no matter how generous they were as lovers the rest of the time, a rut led to a level of desperation that...shifted priorities.

Obi-Wan cried out in surprise when Cody licked across the head of his cock and then slid his mouth down. His spine bowed, and Cody made a hungry sound, no teasing softness to the touch, his hand curled around the base of Obi-Wan’s cock, stroking in time with the slide of his mouth, and--

The press of Cody’s fingers - slick with lube - into his body was not much of a surprise. He’d been projecting the desire since he got Obi-Wan’s pants off. Obi-Wan swore, breathlessly, anyway, gut tight and hot as Cody sank two fingers into him at once.

Cody seemed bound and determined to bring him off as quickly as possible, tongue moving against him, sucking hard, fingers moving just so, firm and sure and--

Obi-Wan saw no good reason to try to hold off the orgasm building in his blood and his bones. He rasped out a warning, heard Cody hum encouragement, and had both hands sunk in Cody’s hair when he came.

Cody slipped another finger inside while he was swallowing, and Obi-Wan groaned, turning his head on the pillow, trying to breathe deep and steady. He shivered, all over, at the wet sound Cody made, taking his mouth off of Obi-Wan’s cock, hand still moving steady between Obi-Wan’s legs, spreading his fingers, twisting them just so, and--

And Obi-Wan could see his expression, eyes dark and intent, just watching what he was doing.

It made Obi-Wan sink his teeth into his bottom lip, feeling his cheeks flaming with heat. He rasped out, feeling taken apart, “Force, Cody, come here.”

Cody blinked up at him and then leaned forward, stretching over him, coming close enough for Obi-Wan to kiss him. One of Obi-Wan’s legs ended up hitched up, caught around Cody’s arm as he kept fucking his fingers in and out, rasping, “Is it--are you--?”

“Yes,” Obi-Wan panted back.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Cody cut in, and, oh, it made Obi-Wan ache, in the center of his chest. Cody said the same thing - or close to it - with each rut, the worry digging in even though he’d never managed to do such a thing.

Obi-Wan’s biology wasn’t perfect for handling a knot. But they’d made it work.

“You’re not going to,” Obi-Wan told him, and cupped his cheek, kissing him slow and deep, until Cody groaned against his mouth, hand going still, fingers sunk deep, just…. Focusing on kissing him to the exclusion of all else. When Obi-Wan shifted back, they were both breathing hard. He murmured, mouth quirking, “You know I can take you.”

Cody nodded, jerkily, and slipped his fingers free even as he rolled onto his back, dragging Obi-Wan along with him. And that was not a surprise, either. He liked Obi-Wan poised over him, especially at the beginning of a rut, liked it to be Obi-Wan’s choice to push down when his knot started to form, to have the opportunity, ever and always, to pull away.

Obi-Wan rasped, “I’ve got you,” and Cody nodded, hands on his hips, squeezing as Obi-Wan reached down, slicking Cody’s cock. Cody groaned, thick, when Obi-Wan sank down on him, fingers digging in, holding so tight.

Obi-Wan slid down in one movement, took him in and felt the stretch of him, delightful and sharp. Cody held him, for a long, long moment, muscles in his arms and shoulders standing against skin. When Obi-Wan rocked his hips, just a little, Cody tightened his grip, holding him still.

It drew a dizzy smile across Obi-Wan’s mouth as he looked down, taking in Cody’s dazed expression and his ragged breathing, as he panted, “Force, Obi-Wan, you feel so fucking good around me.”

Pleasure spread out through the entirety of Obi-Wan’s chest, up through his ribs. He said, shifting just a little, “You know, it’ll feel even better if I move, darling.”

Cody groaned, grip loosening just a little, just enough for Obi-Wan to rise up and--

Oh, it punched a sound out of him when Cody dragged him down again, hips rising off the bed to meet him, like he couldn’t bear to be out of Obi-Wan’s body, even for an instant. “Fuck,” he panted, rising again, dragged back, falling into a rhythm that they built together, fast and hard and desperate, all at once.

He fell forward, catching himself with a hand on the headboard and one on Cody’s chest, Cody thrusting up into him, feet braced on the bed for leverage and--

And Obi-Wan cried out, dropping his head forward, when he felt Cody’s knot starting to swell, catching at the rim of him. “Obi-Wan,” Cody rasped, under him, staring up into his expression, neck tense and hands gripping, “I need to--”

“Do it,” Obi-Wan panted out a reassurance, gut getting tighter with anticipation, fucking himself down again and once more and then going still as he felt Cody’s knot fill, inside of him. The sensation drew a ragged, gutted sound from his throat.

Obi-Wan breathed through the initial pressure, the feeling of being stretched too tight, taking too much, feeling--

Feeling so unbelievably full, as though there was no room for anything else inside his skin, including breath or thought. He cried out, ragged, when Cody shifted below him, feeling the movement in every inch of his body and--

“Alright?” Cody rasped, stroking at his sides, gentling, soft little touches. “Obi-Wan, are you--?”

Obi-Wan nodded, too breathless to speak for the moment. It was...so much, taking Cody during his ruts. He’d be sore for days, and knew it. Looked forward to it. He grinned, feeling punchy and pleasure drunk, shivering as he felt Cody’s cock twitch in him again, spilling a little more pleasure inside his skin, and managed to rasp, “I’m quite better than alright.”

#glimmer replies #ask me anything #codywan #spicy sunday #not safe for wizards #abo verse #rut fic #no warnings just happy spicy times

155 notes · View notes

lala-pipo · 4 years ago

Note

(1) WOW! 4 months has passed since you answered my last ask hahaha… so fast… I understand, sometimes when I spend too much time on something, be it working or studying or even recreational stuff I feel burnt out to :D Like I spent 5 straight days last week playing Stardew Valley, now I haven’t touched the Switch lol anyways, I am still enjoying the updates on Dorm Life! It’s slowly progressing but I think it’s good for both of them so far? Taking it one step at a time :3

(2) It’s like they are back at it again with their bantering and anime/fanfic conversations :’) the comfortableness is there but also at the same time it feels unsettling? maybe because we are seeing it from Taem’s POV and he is kinda fidgety (for a lack of better word) or tense about the situation? Hmmm but yeah the ending at the latest chapter though!! Whoooo could have been calling Jong at that time? And the off-character part where he turned off his phone, refusing to take the calls :O

(3) Obviously like Taem we would probably just wonder if it’s Key right, but idk why some instinct telling me it’s not Key like it’s a new part of the story? A new subplot? Lol or maybe it is Key and we are closing that chapter? Uhuhuh I’m just going to theorize in the corner here as I wait for the next update :3 Ah! Yeah, and you said there won’t be any crying moments anymore, so will there be more cheesy things like the end of the latest chapter? Cringe inducing lines and “aww” moments? ;)

(4) Yeah, ofc ofc since to Taem, Key is his “antagonist”, we were bound to kind of see it the same way… in the latest update too, there were a lot of thoughts inside Taem’s head regarding his observations on Key right… like I think there was a part where he thought that Key was looking down on him, or even he thought that Key and Jong should be having stricter? (Idk if that’s the right word) boundaries on things that they should and shouldn’t talk about lol

(5) To be honest, it’s kind of entertaining to see Taem’s train of thoughts on these things like, that almost instantaneous thought in someone’s head that they don’t really share to others. It can be a little bit biased, it can be overdramatic, but ofc I also I understand Taem’s hatred? Or more like insecurity maybe? When it comes to Key (and Jong). It’s the kind of things people think about but not really say out loud hahaha I love it, it makes the characters more whole?

(6) Oh yeahh? I shall be sneaking my way into AO3 to see your replies :3 For a while I kind of realized that you uploaded every 3 weeks? On my Sunday nights, so I timed it perfectly lol recently I’ve been busy too so this one took a while hehehe :D Since my last ask I think you updated twice with chapter 10 and 11! I think chapter 10 was more like “where is this going, what is happening” uncertain section with everyone just passing by time and going with the flow? Ft. mother and Kai hahah

(7) In chapter 11, I think the direction is clearer for them, thanks to the convo by the river!! It was a necessary conversation and I’m glad that they were able to talk about it, after great difficulty :’) Then the chapter was filled with fluff cheese fluff Taem’s thoughts on Key fluff :3 hahaha oh! Maybe I wasn’t paying attention as much but there weren’t many biblical allusions in the past 2 chapters? Maybe it was intentional or maybe not, either way I didn’t notice many of them I think? haha

(8) Maybe ‘cos Taem’s thoughts are filled with “where is this going”, Jong, Key, and then the upcoming exam lol so not so much bible references going on in his head haha… Also!! I saw new fanfics for Jong’s month and I did not read them yet!! So excited, probably will read them as I wait for the updates :D Also!! SHINee x AoT fanfic, yes please omg… I actually searched for one back in 2013-2014? When AoT Anime was just released… we have Pacific Rim AU, so I was rooting hard for AoT AU :’(

(9) Sooo yeah, I’ll look forward to any new fanfics by you in the future too! But please do take time away from it if it tires you out or if you are burned out! It should be an enjoyable thing to do for you :D Anyways! Thank you for the updates! I thoroughly enjoyed the fluff, oh! and thank you for accepting my tomo-choco lol, and I gratefully accept yours! <3 I hope you had and will have an amazing time for the upcoming months! Take care, and stay healthy! – cricket anon

____________________________________________________

Cricket nony!

Wow indeed! It certainly has been a while. How have you been? I have never heard of Stardew Valley before, but I’m glad you’ve enjoyed playing it. But I know that feeling, sometimes I play games for weeks and then I won’t touch them for a year. Humans are weird like that I guess. ^^

I’m glad you’re still enjoying my slow updates. I mean we are about to cross the finishing line. There are only two chapters left to complete the storyline + the epilogue. So yeah. Considering that I already wanted to be done with the story by March – and now we’re nearing July already. Haha – but at least I’m working on it to push this story over the finishing line.

It’s not really a subplot – more like the underlying theme of the story which has been there since chapter 1. If the story was written from Jonghyun POVs it would have been a main theme, but since we’re seeing everything from Taem’s perspective, we just know what Jonghyun shares with him – which is not a lot. :’)

Yes, there won’t be any more tears. There will be a few cheesy moments, but less so compared to chapter 11. :’D Chapter 12 is like the last peak before – hopefully – all ties come together in chapter 13 *knocks on wood*

Oh, Taemin will have a lot more thoughts on Kibum in chapter 12. Lmao The whole situation between Kibum and Taemin is loosely based on something from my own experiences. However, without going too much into detail – let’s keep it simple and say I was the Jonghyun in that scenario. Lmao

Yeah, I think there are plenty of moments in this story in which Taemin thinks a LOT of things but says something very different out loud. I think that’s only human. It’s just better to not share all thoughts one has. :’)

It’s certainly intentional that there are less biblical references after they’ve actually been to church. There are still some left to come, but far less than in previous chapters. It’s supposed to show that Taemin is slowly beginning to find his balance in a way, his way in life? I don’t know how to put it, but he slowly gets more rooted.

THANK YOU! Finally someone who understand my craving for SHINee x AoT fanfic. I really, really want to write one because for some reason I want to write something more action driven with blood, and gore and violence lmao and of course titans. I mean romance is cute – but romance is even cuter if you put it into a dystopian setting where people are fighting for the survival of human kind. A SHINee survey squad would be so cute T_T <3 I don’t really know why no one picked up on yet after all those years – we have so many crossovers in this fandom – and yet a crossover with one of the biggest fandoms out there is just nonexistent. It makes no sense to me. I also always wanted to write a Harry Potter crossover but there are so many out there already – so AoT really lets my weeb juices tingle. Lmao

I remember really liking bmot’s JongTae pacific rim AU…although I still have no idea about pacific rim to this day. :’D I always wanted to look it up because I like the description in their story – it seemed an interesting concept but somehow I’ve never went further than thinking about it.

Thanks for dropping by again, cricket nony! Talk to you in 4 months? Maybe…lmao Take good care of yourself. *waves* <3

#ask #cricket nony #dorm life

5 notes · View notes

pappydaddy · 4 years ago

Text

I Wanna Know What It’s Like (f.w.)

A/N: So, I am going to start making new Masterlists and today I was supposed to start them, but I’ve had this idea for an imagine in my head for weeks now so I am writing it instead. I also couldn’t choose who to write this for so I’m doing multiple variations of this for different characters and stuff. I decided to do Fred first bc my other Fred imagine was really sad so this is a way to make up for that unnecessary sadness.

I am also testing out a new scene divider, idk if I’ll like it, but we’ll see! This is a repost bc the tags weren’t working the first time a posted which was upsetting and I really hope that they work this time. This is another repost (last one for a while if this one doesn’t get any feedback or the tags don’t work).

Anyway, Enjoy!

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Gryffindor!Reader

Fandom: Harry Potter

Inspo: The Tik Tok audio for Let’s Be Friends by Emily Osment, links to the song below so you don’t have to search for it like I had to 😂

- The song the Tik Tok audio is cut from - Slowed version I found and really like

Warnings: None except making out I guess. Some NSFW hints and thoughts. Like downright sinful thoughts. Hints towards a kinky reader? (Is that even a warning? And is wanting to be completely railed a kink? Is it?)

masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation - my gif -

Y/n couldn’t seem to pull her eyes from the red-head seated next to his identical twin. The pair of them sitting farther down the Gryffindor table than Y/n and her friends. The hall was silent as all the students were working on their essays, being monitored by Snape, but the greasy Potions Master nor the rules silenced the twins - them having found a loophole that let them annoy the largely hated Professor. There was a rule about no talking, but he couldn’t punish them if they never spoke actual words, could he? From where she sat, she could hear their loud grunts and hums from their wordless conversation with each other.

She didn’t understand the sudden fascination with the Weasley boy. It confused her since when she had left Hogwarts last year, she found him annoying, but alas, once she laid eyes on him for the first time this year at the Welcoming Feast, something had changed. She definitely couldn’t pin-point it to save her soul. Maybe it was the fact that he had grown his hair out, but then she’d also be attracted to his twin since he had done the same. Could it have been that she finally developed her attraction to bad boys? Was she looking to spice up her dating life since her past boyfriends had been quite lackluster with their golden-boy attitudes? Whatever it was, it made her question her sanity since this was Fred Weasley she was talking about. The same boy who decided it would be funny to throw a large Dungbomb into her dorm in First Year. She had stunk for a good two weeks along with the only other girl that was in her room at the time.

“L/n,” The monotone drawl of Snape made her feel like someone had just dumped a bucket of ice water over her - which she was thankful for since she could sense her thoughts for the red-head were about to take a steamier turn. Gulping, she slowly turned her head to look at the scowling man donned in black. “I suspect that you’re done your essay already since you certainly do not look like you’re working on it anymore. Didn’t take you to be too keen about potions based on your unsuccessful potion brewing.” His voice was slow and sharp, showing that he was not in the mood to even be pleasant to Gryffindors.

“Almost, sir. Just a bit distracted. Sorry, Professor.” She shrunk under his hardening glare, realizing that he probably didn’t want her to answer his statement.

“Five points from Gryffindor for talking, L/n.” Snape sneered making Y/n’s jaw fall in shock. Her eyes stared up at him in disbelief. He was the one who talked to her first!

“But I was just-”

“Another five points from Gryffindor, need I take more?” Snape asked in a threatening tone, his frame seeming to grow and tower over the girl, intimidating her. She gulped, shaking her head nervously, remaining silent. She might not be someone who thought things through before acting, but she certainly did learn from her mistakes - usually after the second time. With a nod and a flick of his long cloak, Snape stalked along the table, glaring at the Weasley twins as they continued on with their nonsense, pushing his buttons as he waited for the moment one of them slipped up. Huffing as she casted one last glance towards Fred, she couldn’t help letting the question slip through her lips.

“When did he get hot?” Her eyes widened when she realized she muttered the words out loud. Her friends looked up from their own essays, snickering at the red-faced Gryffindor. A few other Gryffindors looked up at the girl in confusion, but she noticed that her quiet voice hadn’t reached the students near the Twins. She let out the breath she held, thinking that she was safe from embarrassment from Fred hearing and Snape hearing, but her false sense of security was yanked out from under her.

“Another five points from Gryffindor, Miss L/n!” She cringed, peeking up to see Snape glaring at her from the middle of the Great Hall. A groan emitted from her before her forehead fell against where she thought her pile of parchment and books were only for it to thud against the wooden table harshly. She didn’t react, only hissing and scrunching her face in pain but otherwise keeping her head down.

_____________________________________________________________________

Saturday was the day of relaxation. Where you ignore all your problems like the load of homework you had due on Monday. The day was designed for this, putting everything off and worrying about it on Sunday when you had a pile of work that needed to be done in the single day. Y/n was the queen of blissful Saturday ignorance which is why it was so surprising to see her sitting outside, staring blankly at the lake (at least they thought it was the lake) as she clearly worried about something. Her friends, in turn, ended up breaking their Saturday tradition to worry about their friend.

In reality, Y/n wasn’t staring at a wall and she really wasn’t worried about anything. As her and her friends sat under the shade of a large tree, the Weasley Twins were tossing something into the lake. She was sure they were up to something, but that wasn’t on her mind. What was on her mind was the fact that she was still trying to figure out why she liked Fred Weasley. She had figured her feelings for the boy when she saw him flirting with some random Ravenclaw Prefect to create a distraction for George to slip past the Prefect and place their product in her bag that sat on the floor by her feet. Before realizing what the two masterminds had plotted, she felt a wave of unfamiliar anger flaring in the pit of her stomach - something she later diagnosed as jealously.

Her thoughts were definitely clouded with steamy thoughts that could be the contents of a dirty movie. As her eyes scanned over the tall boy standing at the shore of the lake, laughing mischievously with his twin, she couldn’t help but wonder if he was different than her past experiences. He was a flirt, he talked a big game, but when it got down to it, did he really know how to please her? Did he know how to make her scream louder than she ever has? Would he be scared to hurt her or would he not think twice to push her into the mattress and completely destroy her? “Y/n!” Her friend shoved her, making her almost topple over. Snapping her once glazed-over eyes to her friend, she saw her friend group blinking at her expectantly.

“What,” She asked, clearing her throat when her words came out too high to be played off as normal. The friend that had pushed her shared a concerned look with the others before looking back at the wide-eyed girl whose cheeks had become tinted with pink when she retraced her thoughts. “What do you want Cami?”

“We were talking about Cedric and asked you a question-” Another friend, Alyssa, popped into the conversation. Cedric, Hogwarts Heartthrob and Golden-boy. When Y/n broke up with Roger Davis, they were sure her and Cedric would pair up, they were the most attractive students at Hogwarts, they would be the power couple - it must have been destined. Y/n was even convinced that they would end up dating this year, but once she caught sight of Fred, that all went out the window. She wasn’t entirely convinced that it was entirely the oldest twin’s doing since when Y/n saw Cedric on the platform before boarding the train, she questioned what all the fawning was about. Sure, he was attractive, but he was too good. If she had dated him, she’d probably end up bored of the relationship just like the others.

“Repeated it ten times, too.” Her Hufflepuff friend, Sophie, spoke up.

“We wanted to know when you guys were going to get together? Word has it, Cho and him have been talking, you might want to jump on him when you have a chance! Ask him to the Yule Ball!” Cami regained control of the conversation. Y/n shrugged, opening her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by her other friend pointing off towards the lake.

“Look! Janet Green is going to ask Fred to the Yule Ball,” Alyssa exclaimed in a hushed, gossipy voice. Y/n instantly looked towards the lake to see the same Ravenclaw Prefect Fred flirted with approaching the snickering twins. “I heard she’s been plucking up the courage for days. Poor girl, hope he says yes. It’d be awfully embarrassing to be turned down after it’s all she’s been talking about!” She gushed in a fake sympathetic tone. She lived for drama and gossip, no matter what Fred answered, it’d be good for her since she’d be able to spread the news.

The group watched, Y/n hoping that Fred would say no. Janet started to talk, nervously playing with the ring on her pointer finger as she talked to him, George watching with a playful smirk on his face still. Y/n took in the younger twin’s form, seeing his shoulders shaking ever so slightly with smothered laughter, the smirk on his face saying that he knew the answer his brother was going to give. Y/n furrowed her brows as he obviously enjoyed the situation his brother was being placed in. “I can’t watch this-” Sophie gasped, being cut off.

“Be quiet, they’ll know we’re watching!” Alyssa hissed at her, whacking her with the muggle magazine her mother sent her. The snap of the magazine resulted in George flicking his eyes up to the group, all of their eyes widening, but his smirk just grew more and they could clearly see a sparkle in his eyes when he noticed Y/n staring intently down at the group. They could all see that his eyes stayed on her for a solid second, singling her out before he sent her a knowing wink before he looked back at his stammering twin.

“That,” Sophie breathed out. “Did not go well, poor girl.” She finished with a real sympathetic sigh.

“Yeah,” Alyssa let out a fake sigh before smiling brightly. “I’ve got to go tell Alicia Spinnet, she owes me ten sickles!” And with that, she scrambled up and was running towards the castle.

“Alyssa, no! You’ll embarrass the poor girl further!” Sophie gasped, chasing after her Gryffindor friend. Cami watched the two runoff, but Y/n couldn’t be bothered with them. She was too busy trying to decode what had just happened. From her thoughts to George’s wink. It was all like a secret code. She watched closely as George poked fun at Fred once the embarrassed Ravenclaw was far enough away. She hummed, noticing George trying to discretely point towards her as he tried to convince Fred of something. She could see Fred’s hair blowing slightly, the flaming hair looking smooth. Suddenly, her mind was clouded once again, imagining how it feels to have him press her up against a wall, her legs wrapped around his waist, their lips locked together in a heated kiss, their tongues invading each other’s mouth, her fingers tangled in the locks of fire-

“What are you doing, Y/n,” Cami asked, snapping her out of her daydream. She looked over at her friend to see her with furrowed brows. “You were,” She paused, looking disturbed by the next word she was going to say. “Moaning, I think?” She wasn’t even sure what Y/n was doing. Y/n would have normally flushed in embarrassment, but it seemed like her mind had a different plan. She wanted to know what the big deal about Fred Weasley was about. There must be something about him that she wanted, why else would she be plagued with these curiosities? She can’t even look at the guy without suddenly wondering something about him. She wanted to know how his lips tasted, to know if his hair was soft, if her fingers could glide right through his locks without getting caught on any tangles. She wanted to know everything her mind was wondering.

“I’m going to go get answers, that’s what.” She told her friend, making Cami more confused as she stood up, her eyes on Fred and George. George, seeing that Y/n was storming her way over, looking like she was on a mission quickly told his brother who seemed to freeze before turning around to see that his brother was telling the truth. After a second of shock, he plastered his normal smirk on his lips, but Y/n could see the nervousness in his eyes. She had studied that smirk since the beginning of the year after all.

Cami watched in shock and confusion as her friend marched up to Fred, standing in front of him. The tall boy looked down at her, his smirk still on his face (looking normal to her) as Y/n craned her neck to look at his face. “Hey, Fred.” Y/n smiled, completely unsure of how she was doing this. Her inner self was having a complete meltdown, her brain being overridden with confidence.

“Hello, Y/n.” He perked an eyebrow at the girl, feeling her confidence rolling from her, a stark difference from Janet a mere few minutes ago. She hummed, a smirk that she didn’t even know she could produce stretching onto her face. It was like she wasn’t even in control of her body, she was being driven by her sheer attraction to the boy standing in front of her.

“Let’s be friends so we can make out,” She came right out with it, Fred’s smirk falling as he nearly choked on his own spit, taken back by her statement. “You’re hot, I wanna know what it’d be like. We can go to the Yule Ball, sneak away to make out in a dark hallway,” She shrugged, her eyes glistening with the normal flirtatious sparkle Fred held in his. “Don’t you wanna know what it’d be like to make out with someone who has only been with good guys? Show me the wild side?” She stepped closer to him, her hand skimming his hip as she did so, her hip bone hitting just below his hip due to the height difference.

Fred was silent, his pupils completely blown as he processed what was going on. Her confidence faltered slightly, but she then remembered all the flirting tips she had read in Alyssa’s magazines. Walk away, leave them wanting more. She picked the dropped confidence up, adding more onto the surge she was miraculously given somehow. “If you want to take me up on the offer, you know where to find me.” She rolled up onto the balls of her feet, pressing a soft kiss to the skin close to Fred’s mouth while still being able to say it was the cheek before spinning around and sauntering back towards stunned Cami. It took everything in her to fight against her inner self that wanted to die right there not to drop the smirk, hoping that he’d come after her once he got over his shock.

The hand wrapping around her wrist didn’t surprise her, she almost knew it was coming. In a swift movement, she was whirled back around, facing Fred who panted slightly, a flirty smirk on his face as he gazed down at her. “I think I’ll take the offer,” He hummed, his eyes dropping down to look at her lips, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip hungrily. “You and me, the Yule Ball and a dark hallway, see you then.” He pressed a kiss to the very corner of her lips, regaining his confidence before releasing her wrist and walking back towards the lake where his brother smiled proudly. She watched him, the corners of her lips feeling the aftershocks of having his lips touch her. Cami walked up to stand beside her, looking at Fred and George as well.

“Guess you’re gonna need to get a really sexy dress now,” She commented, nodding absentmindedly. Y/n hummed in agreement, stunned that it had worked and that she had actually just did that. “Now I know why you’re a Gryffindor,” She added on before grabbing Y/n’s arm and dragging her back to the castle. “Come on, we need to make a list for possible dresses and Alyssa owes me the ten sickles Alicia is giving her.”

#fred weasley imagines #fred weasley x reader #snogging #tik tok #tik tok songs #fred weasley #snogging fred weasley #fred weasley imagines snogging #yule ball #harry potter and the goblet of fire #harry potter imagines #fred weasley x fem!reader #fred weasley x gryffindor!reader #fred weasley prefernces #fred weasley oneshot

103 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 3 years ago

Text

1240

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? I can’t make any dish. I wonder when I’ll get my ass up and start learning...

Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? I wouldn’t dare; I have no skills in that department at all.

Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? Angela and Hans came over so we can watch Sowoozoo.

How many long term relationships have you been in? One.

Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? My default is lights out, but sometimes I’ll fall asleep with my night lamp still on and that’s fine too.

Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? I don’t really do forgiving.

Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? No. I’ve tried listening to her songs but I find them too slow for my liking.

Do you know your blood type? It’s O but I keep forgetting what specific type.

Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes.

Have you got your period at the moment? It’s on its last few days.

Have you ever been pregnant? Nopes.

How old were you when you first went on a plane? I was around 10 or 11, can’t remember exactly. But it was in 2009 and we headed to Boracay.

Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? No. OMG, adult activity I don’t quite understand just yet hfdhfkdjfhdf.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? Yeah they’re both grumbling right now just outside of my room because the power went out lmfao.

When was the last time you went apple picking? I’ve never done this. Apples don’t grow here.

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? My pay for the last two weeks haha, but that’s not coming until Friday.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work? No, I wouldn’t dare. I’m pretty unpredictable when I get drunk, so I’d rather stay safe haha. I’ve worked while tipsy, but it had been outside of work hours.

How many bedrooms are in your house? 4. One for each kid, then my parents’.

Are you smart about computers? Nah.

Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? We didn’t have the game on our Wii, but I’ve played Just Dance before, just at other peoples’ houses.

Do you own a Xbox 360? We were a Playstation household.

Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? Erm, sure, whatever.

So, do you need a nap? I think I should be taking one for the sake of my health, but I won’t.

What would you rather be doing? I stumbled upon a Facebook post of this newly-opened store in Greenhills that exclusively sells photocards and I wanna head the fuck over there rn with Angela. That store concept is practically unheard of so it’s a big deal and I wanna go there as I’m 100% sure the BTS ones would sell out pretty fast. But they heightened the stupid COVID protocols yet again and we have to stay at home, so there’s that.

What sport are you the best at? Table tennis.

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Yeah but she’s turning 21 this year, so little wouldn’t be accurate anymore. We call her Nina at home but everyone else calls her by her full first name, Janina.

Do you complain a lot? I do complain a lot but I also do the thing that is causing the complaint right after so I can shut myself up lmao.

Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? Both sound fun but I’ll probably take the temple. Yay for learning something new about culture!!

Do you like fruity or minty gum? I don’t mind flavor when it comes to gum because they fade out anyway.

Are you looking forward to any day of this month? My company set another mental health break day this upcoming August 27th, so I’ll be thinking about that day throughout the month.

Have you ever gotten detention? We don’t have detention.

Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? Sure.

Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? The latter. < Same. I can be brand-conscious sometimes, but generally if I find something cute, regardless from where I found it, I’d grab it.

Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? Technically yeah. It was a single album.

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I already have two of them.

Ever cried so much you threw up? Possibly.

Who is your best guy friend? Hans.

What do you two do when you hang out? We usually eat out and have a drink or two.

What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? Spotlight, just because it looked boring at first glance. It turned out to be very riveting and the screenplay was fascinating as well.

Do you even like horror movies? Yes, but they’re best watched with other people.

Do you live in the country? Nopes.

What is your favorite accent? I don’t have one.

Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? No.

Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? I had the chance to try out Pepsi when we went to Taco Bell two weeks ago - it was my first time to have it and it was...actually pretty good??? The soda-hater in me was scandalized HAHAHA but it was good!!! I think I prefer Pepsi now.

What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? My 21st birthday started out terribly because Gabie’s family didn’t want her to hang out with me on a Sunday (the day my birthday fell on), so we were in an argument the whole day. Angela saved the day when she planned out an impromptu dinner + arcade date for me, and that was the only good part of the day, really. I’d rather forget the rest of it.

Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? I don’t think so.

Do you take a lot of pictures? I’m starting to, now.

What kind of face wash do you use? Good ol’ water.

Does drama always seem to follow you? Not these days.

Does anybody in your family race? Nope.

Are you closer to your mom or dad? Dad, I guess. But I wouldn’t particularly call myself ‘close’ with either.

How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” I never received money from them.

How long do you want to live with your parents? Maybe up until my mid-20s? Late-20s at the latest. I’m not exactly in the position to move out yet. The money I make at the moment would probably just be enough to cover rent, and just rent. I’d end up starving to death hahaha.

Do you have a laptop or desktop? Laptop.

Do you like your parents? Sure.

Do you secretly like someone? I don’t.

Would you ever date your best male friend? No. I also wouldn’t do that to Angela.

What are you currently listening to? Moon by Jin! Such a comfort song.

Do you want to be single? Yes.

Did you go out or stay in last night? I stayed in and was knocked out pretty early since I had been up since 1 AM.

Have you pretended to like someone? No. I don’t see why I would have to that.

How is your heart lately? Just filled with nothing but Bangtan at this point haha. It’s doing well!

Are you wearing socks? No. Socks bother me for the most part; they make my feet feel a bit suffocated.

What do people call you? Robyn.

Do you get stressed out easily? Yeah, I’m quite the overthinker.

Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No, I’ve never actually been inside an ambulance, whether it came for me or for another person.

What is wrong with you right now? I should probably cut back on the vaping, for one.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? No.

Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? It’s hard for me to sleep with someone else. Even when I had been in a relationship, I usually only got to fall asleep an hour or so after my partner already dozed off.

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No, I cut ties at the start of the year and have been substantially better since then.

Have you ever seen your best friend cry? I honestly don’t think so. I’m the bigger crybaby between us.

Did you get any compliments today? My mom thanked me for covering for Cooper’s shots today since they ended up being quite costly.

Have you ever gone to a beach? Yes, it’s one of my absolute favorite places to be.

What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? Pass up on the offer.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Yes.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? I’ve never had the ample time to, so no. I’ve always wanted to volunteer at an animal shelter, though.

Do you have long nails? They’re not dramatically long, but they have started to grow out.

Do you like the gender you are? I don't like or dislike it, honestly. I'm just neutral. < Same.

Do you generally look nice in photos? I think this is the case these days, yeah. I’ve started feeling more confident and I think it’s able to translate in photos.

Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? No.

What colour are your father’s eyes? Dark brown.

If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? BTS DUH

Name three facts about your family? I come from a family of lawyers; many of us are big history buffs; and many are also fantastic cooks so I don’t know where that talent could have possibly gone when it come to my generation hah.

Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? If I’ve reached a certain level of investment in the relationship, I could probably handle it.

What’s the most thoughtful present you’ve ever received? A Punk shirt and Petals For Armor physical CD from Andi this last Christmas.

What’s your favorite hot beverage? Hot chocolate. < Yessssss!

Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? I don’t.

Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? Carving pumpkins sounds fun, especially since I haven’t tried it before.

Do you think you’re important? Idk. I don’t really like drawing attention to myself though, so that could probably answer your question.

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Andi wrote a letter for me to accompany the aforementioned Christmas gifts they gave, and it remains to be my favorite letter I’ve received. They essentially reminded and affirmed me that I’m stronger than I think I am, and that I’ve been through a lot and have grown a lot, and that that growth is seen by people around me.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? No.

Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? Just to different cities, but considering how tiny my country is, the move is quite insignificant lol.

Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? I’m 100% sure I don’t know how to properly hold chopsticks, but I have my own way and it works lol. Fake it til you make it.

Are you more of a leader or a follower? Definitely a follower, but I can step up in certain situations. < Same. I don’t mind leading, especially considering the control freak I can be lolol.

What was the first thing you ate today? I haven’t eaten anything today. I skipped breakfast since I brought Cooper to the vet, and by the time I got back the dining table had already been cleared. It’s fine though, I don’t feel too hungry.

If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? I’d be with Angela, Reena, and Hans at that insane new photocard store I talked about earlier. IDEALLY, we’d probably pick up a photocard or two if the ones we want aren’t sold out yet (lol a rarity), then we’d have some nachos and stuff right after and just talk about all things Bangtan lol with Hans cracking us up the whole time since he is just naturally hilarious.

If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? Content. Happy. I feel warm and loved and surrounded by the best people.

What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? Learning how to cook is one.

Is there anything that you wish you could take back? Not really.

What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? Being in the purple ocean with my best friends.

If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? A part of me wishes my final face-to-face conversation with Gabie had been a more solid closure, just so we could finally put a hard stop to that chapter. But at that time I thought we would continue talking, so there had still been some stuff lingering in the air when we called it a day and parted ways. So in a sense we never really got closure when I finally cut ties, which the ESTJ in me remains to be nagged by, but I try not to be bothered by it anymore considering how much better I am doing right now. We didn’t know the future at the time, so it’s okay the way things turned out, ultimately.

When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I have no clue. It’s not really a priority.

Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? I’m fast.

Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ Nah.

How many drugs are in your system? Just caffeine.

What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? Werkwerkwerkwerk.

Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? Nopes.

Do you call anyone baby? I don’t.

What’s your current mood? I’m prety neutral. I wish I could be out right now, but stupid Covid and stupid quarantine. But I don’t really mind staying at home, either, so. I’m just so-so.

Do you think you are a good person? I hope so.

What were you doing before filling out this survey? I watched Sunday mass with my family.

How late did you stay up last night? Around midnight.

When was the last time you cried really hard? I cried just a few days ago because period hormones, but the last time I cried hard? I’m not sure. April maybe?

Is your hair longer than your shoulders? LOL yes it’s soooooooo long already.

#survey #surveys

4 notes · View notes

captainsjack · 4 years ago

Note

There needs to be more Shus h/c: I've been imaging lately Shawn getting into a massive fight with Henry, the kind were his Dad is really out of line and he can't joke his way through it bc he's been hit where it HURTS. Gus is there naturally, and Shus is married in the scenario bc I say so. They have to pull over on the way home bc Shawn actually breaks down despite his best efforts not to. Gus is a good protective husband and does his best to calm him down, but Shawn is QUIET for days after. p1

p2. Henry comes over to apologize and Gus opens the door, seriously considers punching him face, but ultimately lets him in. Henry and Shawn make up as much as they ever do, but Gus refuses to talk to him for months bc he's still furious at him for hurting Shawn that much. Would love to hear you elaborate on this with your own hc and thoughts <3

ok the fact that i’ve written something very similar to this (well at least thought about it) ?? buddy we’re just on the same wavelength here !!

but honestly ?? just what you said is perfect, i don’t even know what to add !!

to be fair, i am a bit sympathetic to henry, so i’m not quite sure exactly what he would say that’s so out of line, but i do like the concept.

i’d definitely say this is within the first season. like shawn’s trying his best to make an effort with his dad, despite everything that’s happened. and it’s mostly because he feels a bit guilty about not inviting henry to the wedding. like shawn and gus got married a bit over a year before s1, and so henry hadn’t moved back yet, and even if he had been in santa barbara at the time, shawn was still pretty sure he wouldn’t have invited him anyways (gus is completely on shawns side and actually hasn’t even spoken to henry since high school, but i digress, that’s a different plot).

anyways, when shawn saw henry for the first time in idk how long, neither of them really mentioned the whole Wedding Ring Thing until henry said something during the dog house scene and they awkwardly talked about it (again, a concept for a different post).

so they both had a bit more sympathy for how their relationship has gone wrong, and both were trying their best to make things better even though it was hard (because missing your sons wedding is a real blow no matter how much you know you’ve fucked up in the past). and so things sort of have changed for the better at least a little bit and shawn thinks that, maybe, just maybe, he can forgive his dad just a bit and things can be civil.

and so when shawn and gus are at henry’s (idk what for) and henry says something, it hits shawn a hell of a lot harder than it would’ve in the past. because he wasn’t expecting it (well, at least not as much). he’d thought they were at least ok for now.

and idk what henry says, but it’s clear to shawn that whatever niceties had been in place the last couple of months had just been a figment of shawn’s imagination. of him trying to cling to a shred of a normal relationship with his father.

it wasn’t something shawn could just laugh off or roll his eyes and make a joke. it stings. a lot. and shawn kind of just flinches and he tries to be subtle about it, but he can’t hide the hurt that flashes across his face.

gus tries to defend shawn right away, once henry says the thing. his body is filled with an amount of hatred he hasn’t felt since he had found out shawn had left town and had known it was all henry’s fault. everything in his body goes tense and he’s unconsciously angling his body in front of shawn, harsh words flying out of his mouth unstoppable.

but shawn kind of just huffs out a laugh and shakes his head. he puts his hands up in a “whatever” gesture, body already turning to the door. “forget it man, let’s just go” he says to gus, and he doesn’t wait for a response before he’s already out the door and halfway to the car.

gus just stands there, watching the door swing shut, before he glares at henry one last time and follows shawn. he makes sure to slam the door extra hard.

shawn’s leaning against the passenger door, his face expressionless, and gus knows shawn well enough to know that there’s nothing he can say to make things right. so gus just carefully looks at him, and shawn’s still staring at the ground, and he unlocks the car and they start driving.

the silence that fills the car is heavy, and it makes gus feel like he can’t breathe. he tries to focus on the road, hands gripping the steering wheel so hard it hurts, but he can’t help but keep glancing over at shawn.

shawn’s resting his head against the window, and his face looks dull and exhausted, and every inch of his body feels like lead. he’s so fucking tired of everything, and no matter how much he tries to stop the dam from breaking, he can’t. it takes too much energy to force everything down, and right here, right now, it’s just him and gus and the dark night road, and so he gives up. the ice around his heart breaks - fully breaks - and for the first time in 10 years, he really truly accepts the fact that his father has always, and will always, hate him.

the sobs lurch out of his chest with an amount of force he hasn’t experienced before, and before he can draw in another shaky breath, the car stops and gus’s arms are around him. and he can’t stop no matter how much he tries, and his chest hurts, and he can’t fucking breathe. he clings onto gus’s shirt so hard his nails dig into his palms through the material.

gus just sits there, half in his seat and half on the console separating him and shawn, and he’s holding shawn to his chest like his life depends on it. he murmurs “it’s okay, you’re okay” and “i’ve got you, i’m right here” and “it’s not your fault, it’s never been your fault” over and over again, in the hopes that something, some string of words, will bring any sort of comfort to his husband.

he doesn’t know how long shawn cries, but it’s long enough that his back starts to hurt and he has to reach over and turn off the car so they don’t waste the battery. shawn’s breaths are still shallow and shaky, but his grip on gus has loosened and gus’s shirt has begun to dry.

“what do you need?” gus asks softly, face pressed into shawn’s hair.

“nothing, just you.” and he can’t get out any more words than that, but he doesn’t really need to. because gus is the only thing he has ever, and will ever, need, especially now.

“okay,” gus whispers, and he holds shawn tighter.

they sit like that, squished in the blueberry on the side of the road, car barely parked, until the stars and moon brighten, the streets grow quiet with the night, and shawns heartbeat slows and his breaths come out more even.

in the following days, gus can count on his two hands the number of words shawn has spoken. gus does the talking for the both of them, and, thankfully, shawn’s at least okay enough to laugh at a few of his jokes. but it’s not the sound gus has grown accustomed to - it’s forced, a bit hollow, and he knows in the bottom of his heart there’s something missing. some part of shawn has broken and he doesn’t know if it can be fixed.

he takes off a few days from work, and they spend their days watching movies, cartoons, cuddling, and playing games (half the words on gus’s metaphorical hands are “uno”). shawn doesn’t mention psych or his dad.

neither does gus. he doesn’t know what to say. what is there to say? “are you okay?” that’s too broad of a question and gus knows shawn isn’t okay. “do you want to talk about it?” gus knows shawn will just shrug and say there’s nothing to talk about.

when shawn’s ready, he’ll bring it up, and gus knows that. he also knows that the only way shawn will be able to move on from this, is if he talks to henry. gus knows there’s not much damage control he can do unless henry is there, present in the conversation.

that’s the only reason why gus doesn’t just punch him in the face and slam the door when one sunday morning, he finds henry on the other side of the dark oak doorway.

shawn is in the shower and gus can hear the water turn off as he meets henry’s eyes with a tired glare, and so gus steps out into the hallway with him and closes the door.

“what?” he asks stiffly. and all of a sudden he’s 18 again, in front of the man who he’s just told he hated.

“can i talk to him?” henry quirks an eyebrow up, shifting in anticipation of entering their apartment.

gus defensively steps backward, hand blocking the doorknob. “why?” he asks.

henry sighs. “gus...”

gus’s lips are pressed in a tight line and he doesn’t respond.

henry sighs again. “look, i- i was wrong, okay? can you just let me apologize to him?”

“what, so you can say you’re sorry and then just do it again two days from now? no thanks,” he snaps.

henry frowns and opens his mouth to respond, but gus beats him to it.

“no, look. i know how this works okay? you’re an ass, shawn’s upset, you barely apologize, and shawn works like hell to find some ounce of forgiveness so he doesn’t have to deal with this feeling anymore. and then it happens again. and again. and i’m not letting you do it anymore.”

henry’s pretty shocked, so all he can say is gus’s name again.

gus shakes his head, and stabs a finger in henry’s direction. “no. you will walk in there, apologize, and mean it.” every word is stiff, harsh, and direct. “and then you will never talk to him again.”

henry blinks.

“not until you make an appointment with a therapist. and even then, you will only talk to shawn if he wants you to.”

henry’s still silent.

“this, all of this,” gus waves his hand around them, “is on you. it’s your fault, and it’s up to you to fix. shawn does not owe you anything.” gus pauses. “are we clear?”

henry’s never been met with this much authority before and he’s also pretty shook that he may never be able to see his son again (because he knows gus and he knows he’s dead set on these rules - this boy is the sweetest person henry’s ever met, but he can ice someone if he really means it. (i mean, he and gus lived in the same city for years after high school and gus did not see or speak to him once, and santa barbara’s not that big)).

and so henry kind of just blinks and says “okay.”

and gus’s shoulders relax just a fraction of an inch and he nods his head curtly. “wait here.”

when gus opens the door, it’s his intention to go find shawn and explain what’s going on, but instead, he finds shawn in the hallway, a shocked expression on his face, clearly having heard everything.

shawn kind of just blinks at him, and gus sighs and gently grabs his arm, leading him to the bedroom. shawn gives him a questioning look as gus shuts the door, and gus frowns and says, “he doesn’t get to hear all this.” (maybe it didn’t make a lot of sense, but, gus was mad, and he didn’t think henry deserved any more information in regards to anything shawn was thinking or feeling, so he didn’t want him to overhear their conversation).

gus asks shawn how much he heard, and shawn says everything. gus makes it clear that in no way is shawn obligated to hear henry out or accept his apology. but gus also makes it clear that shawn needs to do something about all of this (he also suggest therapy to him too - the irony that both spencer men are in desperate need of therapy and that madeline was a therapist, is not lost on him). he tells him that he knows shawn isn’t okay and shawn agrees.

for the first time, he actually admits that things with his dad can’t be ignored and that he needs help. because both gus and shawn don’t want shawn to go on like this.

and so after they talk, gus let’s henry in and henry apologizes. shawn’s still quiet and obviously awkward and uncomfortable (it’s not often he hears henry admit that he’s wrong), but he mutters “thanks” and before henry can try to awkwardly hug him, gus pushes him out and locks the door.

he pulls shawn to his chest and shawn melts into him, finding comfort in the only person that has ever mattered to him. shawn kisses gus’s collarbone softly, head resting in the crook of his neck, and he says quietly, “i love you.”

gus squeezes his husband tighter, tells him he loves him too, and then kisses him softly.

gus makes them waffles, makes shawn an appointment with a therapist, and they resume their star wars marathon.

for the first time in four days, shawn makes a joke. and when he joins gus’s laughter, it’s the same sound gus had memorized 25 years ago. it’s bright, happy, and bubbly, and it fills gus’s chest with unwavering love, but also a hope he’d thought he’d lost before.

things were going to be okay - gus was sure of it.

askjdhfk i was NOT expecting to write this much but apparently i have Thoughts about this.

anyways, i absolutely love this concept and i love you for sending this.

(also “shus is married because i said so” bABE IF THATS NOT ME EVERYDAY)

#shus #shawngus #shawn spencer #burton gus guster #burton guster #henry spencer #psych #headcannons #my writing #anon #answered #shawn x gus #shawn/gus

27 notes · View notes

kxhlzn · 5 years ago

Text

i | THE BIRDWATCHER.

SYNOPSIS: You spend some time brewing over big news, and Ben has a favor to ask.

GENRE: Coming-Of-Age, Drama, Angst, Romance, Slow Burn.

PAIRINGS: Stanley Uris/Reader, confusing Richie/Reader, Unrequited!Beverly/Reader, Bev/Ben, Pining!Eddie/Richie.

WORDCOUNT: 4.5k

WARNINGS: Profanity, semi-nudity, gay pining. Bullying, homophobia, etc in future chapters!

SONG RECS: 'She' by Dodie.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I made a post about my choice to rewrite this series, so here's the first chapter! The Losers' Club are all fifteen here, but this is still set in 1989. Pennywise doesn't exist. Reader is bisexual, or at least interested in guys and gals (& maybe non-binary pals! Whatever floats your boat!) Also if this all over the place don't come at me pls. Slightly edited and idk if it is even good so— 🤪✌🏻

There's been quite a few changes :)

MAY 1989.

DEAR LOSERS' CLUB,

No, that wasn't personal enough. You wanted each of them to know what they meant to you. Each of them.

DEAREST BEVERLY,

Why must your thoughts always drift to her first? Why can't she be third or fifth?

TO RICHIE,

You huff dramatically and crumple the notebook paper, attempting to toss it into the waste bin a few feet away.

A detached sigh tumbles from the wide desk across from you, and your history teacher slowly retracts his novel from in front of him to reveal an unamused expression.

He rolls his tongue against his cheek, and waits. When he is met with silence, he shifts in his seat. "... Aren't you, uh... Against wasting trees or whatever?"

You blink. "Yeah, obviously."

"Yeah, obviously!" Mr. Ellis laughs bitterly, and rolls his eyes. "Well, can you waste them a bit quieter?"

Before you can respond, he puts up a finger like he's suddenly been enlightened. "Or, better yet— Leave."

You tap your fingertips against your thighs, and kick your feet up onto your desk. "You know, if I didn't know better, Mr. Ellis, I'd think you didn't like me or something."

He stares at you blankly. "And where on Earth did you come up with that idea?"

You shrug, "No clue. Mr. Ellis, can I confide in your honest feedback on something?"

"I imagine you will anyway—"

"—So, listen... I'm going on a personal journey when summer break is over and I'm afraid I won't ever see you again," You explain, curving your brows inward. Your teacher uses his index finger to trace a single tear gliding down his cheek. "And, um, I don't— I don't know how to.. How do I tell the only true friends I've ever had?"

He pretends to think it over long and hard. "Let me see..."

"I don't care," He finishes, picking up his novel where he left off.

You scowl, and drop your forehead against the surface of your desk, the echo reverberating throughout the empty classroom, save for two people.

Mr. Ellis unwraps a cookie and takes a large bite, and glances at you intermediately between pages. He sighs again. "Will you leave if I tell you what to do?"

"Faster than when the lunch bell rings," You chirp, grinning brightly and leaning forward eagerly on your desk.

He rolls his eyes and puts his feet up on his desk, and pressing his back into his chair. "Go have some fun. Get high. Jump off roofs and ding-dong ditch. Just go be a kid, and tell them when the time is right. Okay?"

A light breeze rushes through the windows propped open with history textbooks, rustling the papers stacked on Mr. Ellis's large desk. Outside, the faint echo of laughter and summer jitters resounds within the four walls surrounding you.

You nod firmly, and skip to an open window.

Tossing him a grin, you give some finger guns. You crawl up onto the large sill, and before you hop out, Mr. Ellis calls your name.

He has the softest expression you've ever seen on him. "Listen— It's been a pleasure having you. Even if you were the loudest, most persistent, and possibly the worst student I've ever had. Just, uh— Be honest with your friends, okay? Don't wait 'til the last minute. They'll never forgive you if you do."

You give him a two-finger salute before hopping out the window.

You found out you were moving away from Derry in early April, due to an accident involving your grandfather's motorcycle obsession, but there was never really a good time to tell the people you've been slumming it with since you were eleven. The first time you tried, Richard Tozier pushed you off a cliff (a story for another time), and the second time, Ben burned himself on Beverly's flat iron (also a long story). The third time, the words fell dead on your lips when Stanley Uris told you you were the closest thing to a best friend he had.

You swear he was on the verge of tears.

So, you postponed. Now, it's late May, and you haven't said a word to them.

You know you have to tell them— You know this, you do, but the timing is never right. At least, that's what you keep telling yourself— Because somehow the words "you're a coward" are far too intimidating to admit.

Especially to yourself.

Heat swells across your cheeks, the massive, and rowdy, kitchen bustling with voices and feet. Your apron hugs your waist and you peer over your shoulder at Beverly, whose red hair is vibrant against the pale walls. Her blue eyes glance up to meet yours, and they are gentle. Bristling, you face Stanley on your right, who is speaking softly with an elderly woman on the other side of the counter.

The soup kitchen is a bit vacant in terms of people to serve, as it's the first few minutes before the dinner crowd pools in at seven. This time is the most peaceful— Pots and pans full of nutritional foods are filling up quick, and you're all anxious to help anybody who walks in the doors.

In Derry, there isn't much funding for volunteer work, so you do what you can— The local church offered up lodging for the soup kitchen, so you're all pretty thankful for the church leaders.

You study Stanley silently, his eyes focused and mild as he speaks with the woman. He's grown quite a bit since last summer, and he let his hair grow out a bit, so now it's a wild mess of curls. You like that he's eased up on the product, so he's all-natural. In order to catch what the woman is saying, he leans forward, in all his 5'8" glory.

He glances at you and places a hand on the woman's shoulder. "Thank you for telling me, Louanne. I'll see what I can do."

She smiles. "Bless you, Stephen."

You snort while she waddles off, and Stanley leans on the counter with his attention locked on you. There's a hint of amusement in his eyes.

"She seems sweet," You say, "How you liking volunteering, Stephen?"

He tries to prevent himself from laughing. "Stop! That's so mean, she's sick."

"What ever do you mean?" You quip, leaning on the counter next to him. Stan rubs your hair into a frizzy mess and stands tall.

"Uris, I need you over here on dishes," Willow, your team leader, shouts from across the kitchen. You can only briefly catch her curvy figure before she disappears behind the doorway.

"Nah, Willow, I got it! Stan's good with the old ladies. Real player, this one," You respond, poking Stan's stomach, "Maybe you'll get lucky."

"That's gross! Go away."

You laugh maniacally.

The dinner rush is heavy once seven hits, but it fades out at about 7:45. People are ecstatic that's it stew night because they are allowed to take a styrofoam bowl on the go. A few stragglers are permitted to camp the night out in the main hall, as the homeless aren't taken to kindly in Derry. Mayor claims it's 'bad' for traffic and tourism, but you know that Derry is the last place anyone would want to tour in. You're pretty sure it's been wiped off the maps, but that's a conspiracy theory for another time, one that Richie had so kindly coined.

Most of the kids who volunteer at the soup kitchen in the church are hoping to capture some hours for the college applications, but you volunteered because you felt like it was the right thing to do; It was simply convenient that it looked good on apps.

There's light shuffling and clanging as volunteers work to clear up the church for Sunday mass. You balance a tray of plates and glasses pressed against your chest with one arm, while you wipe down a table. There's a hand on your shoulder that suddenly startles you, causing you to drop the tray on instinct.

Glass shatters everywhere, then silence.

"Fuck!" You whisper violently, and you drop to your knees, frantically trying to pick up as many shards as possible before Willow comes screaming.

Beverly is beside you, as is Stanley, and all three of your try to clean the mess.

"God, I'm so sorry," Beverly says, "I didn't mean to freak you out."

"Uh, no, no, it's okay," You reply quickly, looking up at her. She smiles softly.

You flush and revert your attention back to the problem at hand. Your cheeks burn a bit, so you try to ignore it— But it leads to carelessness, and you give yourself a clean cut across your forefinger.

Hissing, you retract your hand and examine the damage. The minute you notice red, you become uneasy. Beverly and Stanley both take a sharp inhale.

"Oh, God— Uh, Stan, you got this? I'm gonna go get her cleaned up," Beverly says.

"Yeah, I got it."

"Thanks. C'mon, let's go," Beverly tells you, but you shake your head.

"I'm fine! S'just a cut. I can slap a bandaid on it later," You reassure her, but she's not having it.

"Now," She warns, gripping your arm softly.

Bottom line, Beverly Marsh can make you do anything she wants you to.

You kick your legs out in a steady beat, seated on a counter, while Bev digs around the first aid kit in the storage room. Her back is facing you, so you have a chance to study the freckles up the top of her spine and into her hairline.

You hold your right hand with your wrist, squeezing harder each time your wound throbs.

"Got it," Bev whispers, and she turns quickly. Positioning herself between your knees, she takes a hold of your finger and wipes it briefly with a wet cotton ball. Next, she uses a clean one to wipe disinfectant across the slit. "How bad does it hurt?"

You lie. "Not much."

Her blue eyes look at you with amusement. "Please."

"Okaaay. A bit more than 'not much'."

"Hm," Beverly applies a bit of cream on your cut. "What kind of bandaid do you want?"

She holds up plain, princess, and car bandaids.

"What the fuck are those? Gender-specific bandages?"

She says your name sternly.

You sigh. "Princess, please."

Beverly smiles and opens the package.

The room is quiet for all except the rustling of the paper, and you pop your mouth awkwardly.

"Hey," Bev says slowly, "Um, listen... You do realize that Stan—"

The door is cracked open and the curly head of Stanley peeks through. "Hey... The cut isn't bad, is it?"

You and Bev glance at each other, and Bev shakes her head.

"No, not at all. Just finishing up," She replies, sticking the pink bandaid on your wound. You hop down and wiggle your finger at Stanley with a grin.

"Good as new!"

He smiles softly. "Glad you're okay. I cleaned up all the glass, so don't worry about it."

"Okay! Thanks, Stan," You say, hooking your arm around his neck. He prickles a bit but relaxes immediately.

Beverly unties her apron and lays it on her forearm while she walks on your free side. "M' still upset Ben couldn't make it."

"Me too," You agree, "He was really looking forward to it."

"He can always go without us," Stan adds.

"It's not the same, though!" You say.

Stan shrugs.

It's humid outside the church, but that's to be expected during the summer. The sky is a deep cloudy sapphire, with the buzz of bugs filling the air. The older volunteers disappear into their cars while you, Stanley, and Beverly talk amongst yourselves. Bulbs above the entrance are the only source of light within a few yards.

Beverly puts her weight on her left foot, the gravel beneath her crackling while she recites a story Bill told her about local legends.

Just as she reaches the climax, the church doors creak open and Willow appears. She keeps her back to you while she locks the entrance, and once she turns, she eyes the three of you.

"Y'all need a ride?"

All of you glance at each other, and Stanley checks his watch.

"We'd love one!" You chirp, giving him a light shove.

"If it's alright with you, of course," Bev adds.

"I wouldn't have asked if it wasn't!" Willow says sharply, but without venom. "Hop in."

Somehow, you end up squeezed in the middle, with Stanley and Beverly on each of your sides. You scowl, eyeing the passenger seat with a purse in it.

Stan's clearly uncomfortable, his shoulders curved inward while he anxiously taps his kneecaps. He seems to be looking everywhere but at you and Bev.

"Everything okay?" You whisper.

He shrugs. "Yeah, just, uh— My mom isn't big on me getting home so late from the kitchen; She wants me to quit."

"That's fucked," You say.

"Hey!" Willow barks, glaring at you through the rearview mirror. "I may your super cool team leader, but I still don't appreciate you using a dirty mouth in my car."

You snicker, and she bursts into laughter.

Beverly pokes your shoulder. "Hey, um— Would... Would it be cool if I stayed with you tonight? My dad, he, um... He went out drinking when I woke up, so—"

"Of course," You interrupt. "Stay however long you need."

"Thanks..." Bev says quietly, and she leans against the window of the car.

Willow pulls up into your driveway within five minutes, and Bev steps out. You make an effort to give Stan a brief hug before you go, and he gives you a little wave as Willow leaves.

You and Bev remain quiet when you sneak into the house through the front door, in fear you might wake your mother. When you enter the living room and see the woman's knocked out cold with the television on, you wave Beverly upstairs. She obliges.

You creep up to your mother and crouch next to her head. She's got a bit of drool pooling on the cushion, and you crinkle your nose.

Retrieving a pillow from a loveseat, you tuck it gently beneath her head and pull a blanket over her. Giving her a quick kiss on the forehead, you leave a glass of water and ibuprofen on the coffee table.

"Does she always do that?" Is the first thing Bev says when you reach your bedroom. You're a bit taken aback, but you regroup swiftly.

"Yeah. She gets these really bad migraines," You explain, leaving your bag on the floor and kicking off your sneakers. "And, um, they can sometimes turn into seizures, so we try to let her sleep as comfortably as possible."

"Oh," Bev says, "Can I borrow some pajamas?"

"Yeah!" You reply, "Just grab something from the closet or my drawers."

"'Kay," She snags a blank tank while you pick out a yellow nightgown. You're facing the mirror when Beverly pulls off her t-shirt, and you nearly choke. You can't seem to take your eyes off her back, even when you know you've been staring for too long. "Is your little brother asleep?"

You drop your attention to the floor and quickly pull off your shirt. "Yeah, should be. I'll kill the little shithead if he's not."

Bev smiles. "He's a good kid; If he's awake, he's probably reading. He likes to read, right?"

"Yup," You pop the 'p', "He's into numbers and all that. I'll never understand it."

"He probably thinks the same thing about your art, you know."

You hum and pull the nightgown over your head. "Everybody thinks that way about art, Bev. If you're not dedicated to a nine to five office job, then you're somehow a deadbeat, leaching off the productive middle class."

Bev laughs gently, and it's airy and elegant and perfect. "You're always opinionated, you know that?"

When you toss her a quizzical look, she elaborates and walks over to face you. "Not in a negative way; It's like... It's like you must have all these thoughts swimming around in that pretty head of yours."

Pretty?

Beverly continues. "I mean, you're just so... I don't know? Most people don't care about anything, let alone the world or society. You're bound to make a difference."

You blink at her, your fairy lights hanging loosely from your window and spreading a gold light. Her ocean eyes are iridescent. She's iridescent. Her pink lips curve into a smile, and she glances at the floor.

"What?" She whispers.

You sputter. "N-Nothing. Just, um— Thanks. Thank you, really. I— I just, nobody's taken me that seriously before," You explain, tucking a thick strand of hair behind your ear. "I've always just been Loudmouth."

Bev's face melts into one of sympathy and curiosity, her long eyelashes brushing her cheeks. Gingerly, she places a hand on your shoulder, one that shoots electricity throughout your skin. Her grip tightens. "Listen. Quiet people don't do shit, okay? People who keep their opinions to themselves don't make history."

You shrug a shoulder and give her a lopsided smile. "I can't even make a difference in backwater Derry. How the hell am I supposed to change the world?"

Outside, rain begins to patter restlessly against your windowsill, keeping the stars awake. Inside, Beverly looks at you like she just might think you're a goddess.

"You've already changed mine."

Your entire life, people have told you how the world has to be: Simple, honest, and conservative. They've told you who to be, who to love, what to do. It's always been "you'll meet someone who makes you feel like the world is glowing", followed by, "don't rush, you'll find him soon". What if you don't want to find him? What if you want to find her?

What if you already have?

Beverly Marsh is incomparably the prettiest girl you've ever seen when she's jumping from the cliff into the lake below.

Scratch that, she's incomparably the prettiest girl you've ever seen, and she makes your universe glow.

She's a flash of red, shimmering, shining, iridescent; A ruby tossed into the sky like a plain penny into a wishing well.

She's radiant, tomboyish, and beautiful.

Beverly, in all her elegance, has learned to tame your chaotic hair, your wild eyes, and the crooked pair of overalls that swallowed your thighs. Her, that gentle smile, rendered you speechless daily. You, notoriously nicknamed Loudmouth or Mouth, were silent for her.

You've already changed mine.

"Hey, Mouth! The hell are you gawking at?"

Richie Tozier waves a hand in front of you and you crank your eyes up to his squinting face. His freckles surround the massive pair of glasses on the bridge of his nose, and his black hair nearly blinds him.

You throw up a palm to block the sun, but his giant head is doing most of the work. "Your mother over there in her Sunday best."

If he swung his body around any quicker, his head might have popped off like a Barbie doll. He gazes off into the woods across the quarry, his lips upturned in an unattractive flytrap.

Beverly slips her cream-colored gown off her pale shoulders, drawing all eyes to her. The sun beats down on her chopped red locks, accenting the constellation of freckles along her nose, and warming your flesh under its rays.

Catching the way they all gaze at her, as starstruck as yourself, it hits you like a freight train— you weren't looking at her like you should have been.

Under the intensity of her icy blue gaze, you feel so small; so homely. Your chest aches, but that girl doesn't give you time to grieve. She is in the air in a split second, high like an angel, falling towards the murky waters below.

The boys crowd around the cliff's edge, mouths gaping, eyes bright. It strikes you from the heavens, like a harsh cacophony: These aren't your boys anymore.

You had slipped out of the world briefly, and before long, you are alone at the edge.

Sandy curls appear in front of your face, tilting to reveal the kind eyes of Stanley Uris. His mouth forms a firm line. He seems to be at war with himself as he stares out into the blue sky, dotted with white clouds.

He stays silent for a moment, searching for the right words. "I want to go last," He finally breathes, seemingly triumphed in his verbiage, "I don't want them to see me cross my fingers behind my back before I go."

The vulnerability he expresses warms your heart, and you grin up at him, having gained your confidence back. You are grateful he didn't pry into your dilemma. You didn't expect otherwise, but it was still nice. Stanley is a boy of few words, but the word 'shy' doesn't fit right, as it implies bashfulness or a sweet innocence.

Rather, he prefers the quality of speech over quantity, believing that the chattiest voices aren't always the loudest. A respectable notion, sure, but you tend to believe it in theory rather than in practice.

Stanley's thin frame makes no unnecessary movements, but rather awaits yours. One of his hands cuffs the other in front of his hips. The cool breeze had only an inch to squeeze between within the crevice of your shoulders.

You pull your yellow scrunchie from your hair, and wrap it around your wrist, as Stanley speaks, "Promise not to tell?"

“Pinky promise,” You insist, holding up the smallest finger on your right hand. When his wraps around yours, you toss him a childlike grin. “I never break them.”

You're gone, cascading down towards the green waters, each wave crystallizing in your descent.

"I know."

Stanley crosses his fingers behind his back and steps off the cliff's rocky edge.

Stan’s dive is a flash of gold: Like a bird, graceful in its dip, his curls like its wings.

You find yourself wanting to ask him what it's like to fly.

The water is cool, luckily fizzling the heat out of your cheeks when Beverly appears beside you, grinning softly at—

Bill.

You swallow thickly and turn your head to Richie and Eddie arguing about something pointless. Richie's skin is set ablaze every time Eddie points a finger at him or moves closer.

Across from you, Ben's eyes are set on your face, and you nearly jump when yours land on them. He sputters silently and glances over to the boulders near the trees.

You tilt your head in question, "Ben, what is it?" It's too late now, but you realize you weren't very subtle. At all.

He facepalms. "Can we, uh...?"

Nodding in understanding, you doggy paddle through the lake and onto the shore. Ben is quickly beside you.

The boy leads you over to the boulders and sits on a large one. His hands are glued to his knees, and you can tell he's anxious.

You lean your elbows on your thighs and wait.

"U-U-Um— Can I..? Would you..?" He shakes his head suddenly and regroups. "I need— I need help with something..."

"...Okay..?" You gesture for him to elaborate.

"Can you help me write love notes to Beverly?" He spits out softly, and you choke on your own spit.

You stand up abruptly, like you sat on a pin, and cross your arms. Your brows curl inward in confusion, embarrassment, and anxiety. "W-What? Sorry, I don't— Why?"

"Because... You are a girl, you know? You know a lot more personal stuff about her, I think, right?" He asks, rubbing his clammy palms together.

"Uh," You run your fingers up your arm, "I guess? I don't think... That would be... She doesn't..."

He gives you an awkward crooked smile. "I mean, it's okay 'cause you're a girl. I wanted to ask Bill or someone else but since they're guys it might be different..."

"H-How so?"

"Well— You know. They might secretly like her or something," Ben says, staring at the dirt by his feet.

You swallow, and glance out to the water; To where she is. Beverly meets your eyes and smiles gently. Your stomach does a flip.

"Can I— Can I think about it?" You inquire softly, and Ben nods swiftly.

"Yes! Yes, of course. That's okay," He sounds a bit sad.

You reach out and rub his shoulder. "You're an amazing person, Ben, you know that? She'd love anything you wrote to her."

You smile crookedly, the corner of your mouth twitching.

Ben nods slowly and shakes his arms a bit to free himself of nerves. "You're right— I should just be more confident..."

He's obviously trying to convince himself more than you.

"Bev—" He shouts suddenly, and she looks over with a grin. One of her hands runs through her hair, and you can feel her eyes burning holes in your face just seconds before she focuses on him. "You look beautiful today!"

Beverly Marsh smiles ever so gently, her cheeks blossoming in a shade of scarlet. The freckles lining the bridge of her nose accent the brightness of her eyes, and you swallow thickly.

She really does.

Tapping a pen against a thick sheet of paper, you push your tongue against your cheek and read over the words again.

PROS:

♡ helping ben!

♡ practicing writing!

♡ practicing stationary!

♡ getting ben and bev together!

♡ making bev feel good!

♡ getting over the butterflies?

You scowl. The hell does that mean? You glance at the clock, which reads 8:37. You consider the pros to writing anonymous love letters to Beverly, which seems to be a lot— And the selfish part of you tells you that it would be beneficial to you— How so? You're not quite sure, as admitting to yourself that it even took nearly an hour.

Within your friend group, you've always been relatively open— Keeping up with honesty, kindness, and always wearing your heart on your sleeve. Stanley said it was naive to do so, but you feel that in a world that is so blatantly harsh and negative, being real with those around you is a heap of good. So why is it suddenly so difficult to be honest with yourself?

You concentrate your thoughts of Beverly, so that you might understand, or in the least identify, what exactly your true intentions with her are. Immediately, your stomach curls, and you feel your insides turn to mush. These sensations are familiar— You've had countless encounters with them.

You picture her in your head, memorize the features of her that always seem to stick when she's around. Her red hair, her freckles, those eyes... And her lips. The curve of them when she grins, or laughs— And briefly, ever so, you imagine what'd they'd be like pressed against yours—

"Hey," Your mom says, your door now swung open, and you scream, tipping out of your desk chair. You land flat against your back and groan.

Your heart beats painfully in your ribcage.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. Come do the dishes," She tells you, and you nod profusely.

You inhale through your nostrils and run your fingers through your hair, sighing. Once she's gone, you push your head into the crook of your elbow.

Tears unravel into your arm.

Why did it have to be Beverly Marsh?

[ 🌱 ] taglist (from original write):

@hannarudick @cedricisnotonfire @russian-romanova @pacifythepanda @queen1054 @thebitchiestnerdtowalktheearth @delicrieux (you get to be on here cuz.. i said so).

#beverly marsh x reader #stanley uris x reader #it 2017 #it fanfiction #stanley uris imagine #beverly marsh imagine #kassiewrites #chapter one #BW #bw rewrite #the birdwatcher & his lover #the birdwatcher series #kassie writes

113 notes · View notes

theories-just-for-funzies · 4 years ago

Text

“What’s the very worst thing you can do to your very best friends? Tell them your darkest secret, because if you tell them, and they decide they’d rather not know... You can’t take it back. You can’t unsay it. Once you’ve opened your heart, you can’t close it again.”

This is the second post I’m making about BBC Sherlock S4 (or anything about any fandom, really). You can find the first one here, the topic is almost the same. I’m really slow in writing down my theories in a way that is comprehensible by others, so I’m sorry if i don’t have a lot for the moment. Read this with the knowledge that I firmly believe in TJLC as explained by Rebekah on YouTube, and that S4 is not real as we see it, but is telling us what we need to know before they release S5 (or the special if that’ll come first) through unusual ways, TJLC style.

I think here Culverton smith is mirroring the writers, and his friends are the viewers. During the whole scene we have TONS of mirrored shots in the windows, most of it infact. In all of the previous seasons mirrors and character shots in mirrors were there to signal “hey this character is currently mirroring this other thing”, so idk it might be even this time??

Faith when she’s still drugged and tries to remember something about the conference, the first shot of her that we see, she’s in a mirror, even the desk reflect her image. Wander which part of the audience Faith is mirroring? Yeah, you guessed it. The tjlc fandom. The ones that analyze things. The ones that are questioning.

And the nurses? Idk, I’ve never seen a nurse that’s just putting an IV wearing a mask (unless under special circumstances of course), it never happens even when you’re taking blood samples, it just doesn’t ring right to me. So, who are the nurses? They’re people working for Culverton, they know what’s happening, they know what the solution is and what it does, they know how to administrate it, but they leave the room in the moment of confession. The nurses are mirroring BBC Sherlock’s crew.

If you’ve never worked on a set let me tell you: nobody, apart from the smallest possible amount of selected people, knows the whole picture, they can’t risk it, usually it’s just the writers, the producers, and most f the times the main actor; everyone else just knows the smallest informations to do their single job of adjusting the lights or hair for that single scene just like it’s written in their schedule.

So the crew knows partially what they’re doing, but they can’t speak, because their mouth is covered.

I’m thinking this is exactly the reason of S4. S4 is the memory drug. Everything made sense till now, tjlc was more and more evident, it was extremely obvious to everyone that johnlock was an actual thing, i mean just look at the sign of three, MY MOM THOUGHT THEY WERE CANONICALLY IN LOVE BEFORE I EVEN DID (at the time the fandom wasn’t the greatest so I avoided pretty much anything that wasn’t fan fictions or fan art, and just thought it was queer bait). Everything was super clever and well made. And then S4 came. A cheap Hollywood movie where nothing made sense and with john and sherlock great platonic friendship. And it was the last season so how could you not except what they already gave you and still want more, right?

Wrong. S4 is either complete bullshit or a distortion of what actually happens.

Culverton say that he can’t say his darkest secret because he can’t take it back, yet he does tell, and he does take it back.

The show does say that sherlock and john love each other (and are still pining) but S4 takes that back. You want the distorted version? Ok. Sherlock does explicitly says the words “i love you” in S4 to Molly in a physical mirror, a character’s mirror for John, whose description of the coffin perfectly fits John. The show does say that the writers aren’t stupid and aren’t making a tv show that’s just a blockbuster action movie, with cheap Hollywood effects and made up physic laws. Yet S4 takes that back.

The whole thing they kept saying in earlier seasons about “making history of television” and “making unprecedented things”? What unprecedented things? That was extreamely cheap cinematic, with really poor writings and a rip off of James Bond and classic horror movies. Nothing about S4 was memorable or relevant.

They already said everything they had to say (for the moment) but then they couldn’t leave the public waiting for another 6 years before S5 with all that hope and knowledge. Especially considering the fandom suspected even the phone\heart metaphor before ASiB even aired. Leave those people with the tiniest hope and you’d find your plans stripped naked for everyone to see in less than half of that hiatus. That’s really not Moffat style, he needs to give you hope, rip your heart open, surprise you leaving you gasping, only then he can make another plot twist and make everything super beautiful again and making you crying because it’s too many emotions.

So they said their things before S4, the fans that were still not sold on johnlock or didn’t want it canon were the friends who would rather not know, they went on with the brain washing of S4, and said “ok, we’re done here, nothing else to see, the show is finished, good night”. But just as with Faith’s story you can reconstruct if not all, part of what happened; because i don’t know if you noticed, but S4 doesn’t have a lot of plot holes, it is one single gigantic plot hole.

But what happens if they kill everyone just like Culverton Smith said? What happens if they make S4 so bad and destroy everything they said up until now with the show itself? What happens if the same people that were able to decode everything suddenly lost any faith because they were let down so much they just let the fandom die, and there was no one left to analyze what they were actually saying?

Everyone would forget all about TJLC and about how clever of a show it was. They would erase the whole show from people’s memories, letting it pass by like any other show that’s there to fill your Sunday evening.

Also there’s another thing that doesn’t sit right with me, although i don’t have any proof backing this up and am not sure of what I’m saying, it’s basically just speculation, but still. TD12 package:

obviously this drug doesn’t exist, the only thing i came across with that name is a percussion sound module, you’re welcome to make your own theories with this informations since i know absolutely nothing about music technology and am not the smartest tool in the shed when it comes to music theories or clues.

I presume TD12 it’s something along the line of saline solution, since Sherlock made that replacement himself later in the episde, my research (because i also have no knowledge about medical stuff) told me that saline solution has en expiration time of roughly 2 years. On the package we see that the expiration’s date is October 2018, so counting back, assuming Culverton got the drug shortly before doing his speach, the scene takes place somewhere around October 2016. Wander what happened in October 2016?

On BBC Sherlock official YouTube channel they release just one video: Sherlock Series 4 release date. Now. You might say I’m looking a little to much into it, but if you go check the release dates of the other YouTube videos you would see that they usually don’t post just one video per month, that’s the only one around that time period. Idk if you ask me it’s a lot of strange coincidences.

Anyway, in the scene he then says “these drip feeds will keep the drug in your blood streams at exactly the right levels. Nothing that is happening to you now will stay with you for more than a few minutes. I’m afraid that some of the memories you’ve had up to this point might also be... corrupted.”.

So the victims starting now, will continue to take the drug for the next idk 30 minutes???? But apparently some of the events preceding that moment can be “corrupted”. Translated: everything starting from October 2016 is fucked up because of the drug, not only that, but also some things from before that. I’m guessing the “drips” would be the little occasional posts or news??

Might I add the information that in December 2018 the escape room Sherlock the game is now opened? Like, i know it’s not October, maybe I’m just looking where i want to look, but... I genuinely don’t know, that’s why I’m sharing things, so that people with a more objective point of view can come and say to me “hey you’re not making any sense, what the fuck are you talking about”.

And overall, I’m not native English speaker, but I don’t think you say “corrupted” when talking about human memories. It sounds more something used in the context of digital memories, usually it’s files that gets corrupted, not human brain memories.

23 notes · View notes

notapaladin · 4 years ago

Text

save you from that sunday sermon

If you’re reading this, you’ve almost survived 2020! Have some extremely gratuitous priest/religion kink to celebrate. This may or may not be specifically for @votgs; IDK if you’ve yet read the canon this is based on but I hope you like it anyway!

also on AO3, like all my works

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.”

The inside of the confessional booth was dry and smelled of incense. Outside, it promised to be another scorching hot day, but away from the sun all was dark and cool. Soothing, Acatl had always thought.

It was less soothing now.

It wasn’t the first time Teomitl had come to confession, but they were always small things—losing his temper, judging too quickly. He swore he was working on his flaws, and Acatl believed him. They’d known each other since Acatl’s transferal to this large parish, when Teomitl had bounded up to him after Mass with a smile that had struck him to the core. It was a smile he’d soon grown dangerously used to seeing every Sunday, a few rows back from the front. But outside of Mass and confession they never really spoke, and this was the first time Teomitl had ever sat on this side of the screen, in his neatly-pressed suit and shiny shoes and met his eyes.

He swallowed. It didn’t help his dry throat. Christ, but he wished he’d brought a bottle of water in with him. “Go on.”

Teomitl’s eyes were very dark as he crossed himself. “Father, Son, Holy Spirit.” The quick, sure movement of his hand imprinted itself on the back of Acatl’s eyelids when he blinked. “It has been…” And here he paused, frowning. “One week since my last confession?”

“Two.” He’d noticed Teomitl’s absence like a lost tooth. Even mentioning it made his face heat up, and he was glad for the darkness of the booth. It is not a sin to have a routine, he told himself. It’s not a sin to form a friendly attachment. He’s a parishioner, nothing more. Besides, he’ll be off to college in a few months, and I won’t see him again.

But Teomitl was slightly flushed, eyes widening, and he felt himself blush faintly in response. “You noticed?”

Acatl couldn’t look away from his face. “I did. God will forgive whatever sins you’ve committed since then, you know that. You never need to hide from Him.”

Now Teomitl was definitely blushing. He shrugged out of his suit jacket, and Acatl recognized it for the nervous, stalling-for-time gesture it was. “Even if…”

He was silent. In his years as a priest, he’d heard a great deal of sins, many of them sexual, and few truly capable of shocking him. Besides, he couldn’t imagine Teomitl doing anything horrible. Embarrassing, maybe. But a true, mortal sin? No. Not him. He would never. He’s a fine, upstanding young man—better even than I was in the seminary, though of course he’s far more worldly. Indeed, though he always took them out for church Acatl could make out the tiny holes where piercings decorated his earlobes the rest of the week. It was more than a little distracting.

Finally, Teomitl met his eyes again and spoke. “There’s...someone I want very badly, Father.”

Christ on the cross. Not high school relationship drama. “And?”

“Someone—unsuitable.” Teomitl caught his lower lip between his teeth for a moment, gaze drifting to the floor. “My family would never approve.”

He could think of a lot of women who could be unsuitable for the youngest son of an obscenely wealthy family. “Is she too old for you? Too poor? Seeing someone else?” He thought for a moment. “A teacher?” God knows I remember what my last year of high school was like. I think my entire class thought they were in love with the science teacher. Thank goodness all that’s well behind me now.

Teomitl shook his head. After a moment, he took a deep breath. “A man.”

Acatl felt his world gently tilt and resettle itself on this new angle. He knew he should say something—something reassuring, something comforting—but all he could do was blink at nothing. A man, Teomitl had said. Nothing like the awkward mumblings he’d heard before, of Oh, there’s a boy from school…

Eventually, he found his voice, and the words tore themselves from his heart. “Teomitl. God has made you to love whom you love, and He loves you no matter who that is. And love can never be a sin.” I don’t care what your family might have made you think. I’d have words with them, if I thought it would do any good.

Teomitl’s smile lit up the booth. “Mm. I hoped you’d say that.”

He couldn’t help smiling in return. It was infectious, even as it woke a little voice in him that hissed he was going too far, getting too attached. “Tell me about him?”

And now he had the pleasure of watching Teomitl bite his lip, shyly pleased. “Ah. He’s...older than me, and single. Very handsome. Very kind. Patient. I look at him sometimes and think, God, I’m glad he’s not a teacher, I’d die if I had to put up with my idiot classmates being into him. But I still get to see him—and talk to him—so that’s enough.”

“He sounds like a prize.” Acatl was not going to be jealous. He was not. It wasn’t his place. “Are you...going to tell him?”

“Do you think I should?”

It wasn’t a hesitant question. Acatl was sure, looking at Teomitl’s face, that he’d already made up his mind. Still...to be asked for his opinion warmed his heart. “I think that the worst that could happen is that he would turn you down gently, and then you would know how he felt.” And then his brain shut off and his traitorous mouth kept moving, because apparently he had more to say. “But...I cannot see how he’d say no, Teomitl. I can’t see how anyone could say no to you.”

“...Oh.”

Teomitl was silent for a long, long moment. And then he reached across the space separating them, and put a hand on Acatl’s knee.

Acatl promptly forgot how to breathe. The touch electrified him, warm skin searing through the thin fabric of his cassock and the dress slacks he wore underneath it, and even the crimson shame coursing through his veins was erased. Shame required him to think, and he wasn’t capable of that with Teomitl touching him.

“Teomitl.” It came out as a croak.

Teomitl rubbed his thumb in a gentle little circle over the inside of his knee, which didn’t help at all. And then they locked eyes, and the smile that had been flickering around the edges of his face turned slow and hungry. “Father Acatl.”

He became gradually aware that he was gaping like a fish. It took three tries for him to find his voice, and even then he stuttered. “I—you---!”

Teomitl’s eyes gleamed. “I told you. I want you very badly.”

“Ngk.” He’s an incubus in human shape. That’s the only explanation. “I can’t…”

Nails scratched lightly at his thigh, and he made a strangled noise. Teomitl was looking at him through lowered lashes now, pinning him in place with the heat of his gaze. “You just told me you can’t see anyone rejecting me. Are you really not including yourself?”

“I—I am a priest.” It wasn’t an answer.

And Teomitl knew it, because his fingers started to trail lightly up the inside of Acatl’s thigh. “And so?”

“I took vows.” He should pull away. He knew he should pull away. But he couldn’t move, and the blood racing through his veins was pulsing through his cock even from such a simple touch. I’ve never—Christ, I’ve never— He’d never been this close before. He’d never been this tempted before. Outside the confessional, he knew the church was deserted. Nobody would hear if he cried out, and the statues of the saints were only plaster and paint.

“Ah.” Teomitl’s smile turned mocking. “Those. Do they really matter to you right now?”

He drew a slow breath. “They should. I’ve kept them this long.”

“Father.” Now Teomitl was licking his lips, slow and pointed, and he couldn’t look away from how dark they were. It would be so easy—so, so easy—to capture them with his own. “Have you never even thought about…” He trailed off, letting his fingertips continue their slow slide up Acatl’s inseam, and there was no way Acatl could hide his arousal.

He had to close his eyes. He couldn’t lie to Teomitl’s face. “No. Never.”

“A righteous man.”

And gods, his voice was a purr. It made Acatl think of of smashing his vows like glass on the floor, and for a moment all he could do was breathe. “A man of the cloth.” His own voice shook.

Long, strong fingers came to rest at the base of his throat, gently tugging his collar aside. Frozen, feeling his heartbeat in every inch of his own skin, he let it happen. “Too much cloth, I think.”

When he swallowed, Teomitl’s fingers brushed against his bare skin. “You—you’re mocking me.”

Teomitl lowered his voice. There was no more humor in it, nothing but a deadly seriousness. “I do not mock, Father. Look at me.”

He opened his eyes. Teomitl was leaning forward, legs spread and eyes burning. Acatl’s gaze fell unbidden to the bulge in his slacks, and it made his mouth water. His slack fingers twitched at the arms of his chair; for the space of a heartbeat, he was nearly overwhelmed with the urge to touch. To palm all that hardness, to undo belt and zipper and—

He’d never heard his own voice so rough. “I’m looking.”

“It’s all for you.” Teomitl was smiling again, crooked and almost teasing, but the hand that was sliding up Acatl’s thigh was now brushing warm knuckles against his erection and he had to bite back a whine. “If you want to take it.”

He took one deep breath, and another. He was suddenly, acutely aware of all the layers separating their skin, of their suits and his cassock which now definitely had too many buttons—no, he could hike it up, it would be fine. “I—“ There were no words. He had no words here, and no defense in the eyes of God.

Forgive me, O Lord, for what I am about to do.

He stood up, grabbed Teomitl, and pulled him into a hard kiss. It was messy and awkward—he’d only ever kissed anyone once, and that had been at his senior prom just to see what it was like—but Teomitl knew what he was doing; he tilted his head, buried his hands in Acatl’s hair, and made it hungry. Filthy. He heard a growl and realized it was coming from his own throat as their bodies pressed together, molding Teomitl’s lean, solid muscle against his own frame. Too many clothes. We’re wearing—too many fucking clothes—

Teomitl clearly had the same idea. His hands left Acatl’s hair to scramble over his cassock instead, popping buttons and fumbling with his collar until clearly giving it up as a lost cause. “Christ—how many layers—“

Acatl thought he should probably pull away so at least Teomitl could see what he was doing, but it seemed far more important to undo his shirt buttons and bare the base of his throat so he could lower his head and find out what sort of noises the boy made when he put his mouth there. He licked over the pulse in his jugular and was rewarded with a breathless gasp that made him rock forward on instinct, grinding roughly against Teomitl’s hard cock. “Leave it. You say you want me?”

Teomitl let out a frustrated little snarl and grabbed his hips, fingers digging in almost hard enough to hurt. “Fuck. Yes. Jesus, yes—want you to fuck me right here—“

Even the thought of it made him groan, but then the words sank in and his breath stuttered. “I’ve never—I don’t—“ Never thought I’d do this, didn’t plan for this, don’t know how—

“I do.” And Teomitl’s grin was wild and bright as he pressed him against the confessional bench; when the backs of his knees hit the edge they bent automatically, and then his cassock was hiked up around his waist and Teomitl was staring down at him with a predatory light in his eye. His shirt was half undone and there was a red mark on his throat, and he looked obscene.

He looked divine.

“Jesus Christ.”

He didn’t realize he’d spoken the words aloud until Teomitl’s mouth curved into a slow grin. “Taking the Lord’s name in vain?”

He didn’t get a chance to respond; Teomitl was undoing his belt and stepping neatly out of his trousers and underwear, and his mouth went dry at the sight. He was magnificent. This was worth taking the Lord’s name in vain for. This was worth anything. “Teo—“ He was cut off by Teomitl moving to straddle his thighs, as easily as though he’d done it a hundred times before. Maybe he had; Acatl wouldn’t be surprised.

The hands that freed his erection and gave it a slow, wickedly light caress certainly knew what they were doing, and he had to grit his teeth against an embarrassingly needy hiss. Teomitl’s hot, solid weight pinned him to the bench, leaving him just enough room to rock into that touch; seeking something to anchor him to earth, he dug his nails into Teomitl’s thighs. That got an immediate response—Teomitl’s eyes widened, and he sucked in a hard breath before rasping out, “I’d rather you take me.”

His cock jumped a little at the mere thought, and for a moment he had to squeeze his eyes shut. God, he really wants me—he could have anyone he wanted, anyone at all, and he picked me— “Fuck. Christ. Okay.” Not eloquent, but he was past that now.

There was lube. Thank God there was lube. Thank God that Teomitl had come prepared, was arching his back like something out of the filthiest late-night porn videos he’d ever watched—but better, so much better, because this was real. He slid one slick finger into that heat, careful, and was rewarded with a hitched breath; encouraged, he pressed a kiss to Teomitl’s collarbone and got an actual gasp in response.

He likes that. Good. He mouthed harder at that same spot, the back of his mind spinning into overdrive as he tried to remember what he’d read about how to make it good; Teomitl deserved the best. A bit more lube, a different angle, and suddenly Teomitl’s panting kicked up into a sharp little cry. He trembled at the sound and did it again.

There wasn’t any way Acatl could get deeper, but from the way Teomitl ground his hips he seemed determined to try. “Oh—oh, you liar,” he breathed delightedly, spreading his legs wider for better access. This time when he wriggled it pressed their cocks together, and Acatl had to take a slow breath to keep himself under control.

“I confess in the sight of the Lord my God that I have sinned,” he murmured against Teomitl’s throat, and nipped sharply at the skin to punctuate his words. Then he added another finger, reveling in the incoherent whine that stuttered out. It was tight—tighter than he thought it would be, and for a moment he worried it would hurt—but then Teomitl arched and rolled his hips forward and that seemed to do something, because he had a bit more room to move.

He had to move, had to keep stretching Teomitl open, because to do otherwise would have been to deprive himself of the boy’s reactions. He was done with depriving himself. Each broken gasp and high-pitched keen was music to his ears, a feast for a starving man, and as he left marks all over the long column of Teomitl’s throat he could feel their vibrations against his mouth. Teomitl’s voice nearly cracked when he tried to actually speak. “Ah—hah, Father, please—“

“Hmm?” He’d never felt like this before—stretched taut with power, with anticipation. Dangerous. A blisteringly hot thought lanced through him—Christ, I could keep you strung out like this for hours—and his cock twitched with the intensity of it. He curled his fingers inside him purely to feel the way his walls clenched and rippled, and Teomitl broke.

“Fuck me, damn you!”

He sent up a brief, heartfelt prayer for stamina. He knew he was going to need it. “God—yes—“

And then he was pulling his fingers out, and guiding himself in, and the sheer slick heat bearing down around him made his eyes roll back in his head. Teomitl lowered himself down; he was doing most of the work and Acatl thanked God for that, because it was all he could do to keep himself steady. By the time he was sheathed to the hilt they were both trembling, and he had to drop his head to Teomitl’s shoulder and take a few deep breaths before he could even think coherently. “Oh, my Lord…”

Teomitl hissed through his teeth, rocking impatiently. “Praying at a time like this?”

His body seemed to know what to do better than he did; it was almost second nature to settle his hands at Teomitl’s waist, to brace his feet on the floor and grind his hips up. Teomitl dug his nails into his shoulders, and even through his clothes it made him jolt. “You.” Teomitl did something with his thighs, and for a moment he couldn’t speak at all. “You should try it. Don’t—nngh, recall you actually confessing a sin.”

He could think of a few Teomitl had committed since his arrival; looking at him the way he was now, for instance, was definitely Pride inspiring the sin of Lust. Worse, judging by the way he smirked he was entirely unrepentant. In response to Acatl’s words, he raised his hips up and then sank back down, a smooth motion that pulled a groan out of him. It would be easy, he thought, to let Teomitl do all the work—but he didn’t feel like taking it easy, and Teomitl had been making the sweetest sounds earlier.

It still took a few tries to establish any kind of rhythm; he got nearly a quarter of the way through a mental Our Father before Teomitl shifted his hips at just the right angle, and he bucked his hips up in response, and Teomitl made a desperate noise and clenched down around him so hard he raked his nails down Teomitl’s back and snarled something profane into his ear. “Like that?”

Teomitl nodded frantically and did it again, setting up a steady rise-and-fall; all Acatl could do in response was meet it as best he could. But like this—now that they’d figured out how they were proceeding, now that he knew what to do—he could claw back some of his focus. It was easier to kiss Teomitl like this, rough and messy, and when he bit at his throat Teomitl gasped.

And then he started to speak. “Bless me—Lord—“ Teomitl’s voice went high, reedy, and he keened as Acatl rolled his hips upwards. “For I have—“ He broke off, shuddering, as Acatl thrust wildly up into him again; it did something, hearing the words of a sacrament on his lips at a time like this, and he wasn’t going to question or examine it when it made fire race through his veins.

“Keep going.” He barely recognized his own voice so rough with desire. “I want to—Christ, I want to hear you.” Want the entire chapel to hear you. Want God in his heaven to hear you. Want to make you scream.

Teomitl’s breath hitched, fingers scrabbling down Acatl’s spine; it must have been doing something for him too, because he was riding him even harder. And he kept talking, words broken by near-sobs of pleasure each time Acatl slid deep. “For I have—ah—most wickedly and with full knowledge of the—oh fuck—consequences—ah!”

He raised himself up and Acatl let him, breathing hard. He’d grabbed fistfuls of the back of Teomitl’s shirt; it was possibly the only thing enabling him to keep his focus. “What.”

“Tempted a priest to sin.” Teomitl’s smirk could have tempted a saint. It could have tempted an angel of the Lord. Mary would have thrown away her blessed virginity for that smirk.

Acatl grabbed his hips and pulled him back down. I’ll show you sin, he thought, and after that it blurred a bit. He was aware only of Teomitl’s nails raking over his back, the creak of the bench under them as they moved together, the slick impossible heat of being inside him. Each thrust was another bolt of lightning up his spine, another tight coil of pleasure in his gut, and he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. Just a little longer—please, God, I want to feel him—

Teomitl broke hard, suddenly, and all at once. His back arched, hips snapping, and then he was squeezing down around Acatl’s cock and spilling himself all over both their stomachs with a raw gasp of “Christ,” and there was absolutely no chance of Acatl lasting any longer after that. His own release hit him like an oncoming storm, and for what felt like an eternity his mind was entirely blank with the shock of it.

By the time he could think again, Teomitl had let go of the back of his cassock in favor of wrapping strong, solid arms around him, resting his head against his. It was soothing. Grounding. He needed it; he still felt faintly electrified. Christ. Jesus. “...Virgin Mary, Mother of God.” It came out in a long, mumbling rush, and it was nowhere near enough to express whatever was going through his head. He didn’t even know what was going through his head. He was still buried inside Teomitl, and he didn’t want to leave.

Teomitl took a long breath and let it out in a sigh. “God. Yeah. That was…”

“...Amazing.” There probably wasn’t enough penance in the world for this, but that was a problem for future him. In the meantime, he slid his hands slowly over Teomitl’s bare thighs and nestled his forehead into the curve of his shoulder, feeling their heartbeats slow down to normal.

“...I think I ruined your robe. Coat. Thing.”

He sucked in a lungful of too-warm air and forced down the tide of guilt that wanted to choke him. No. God, I love You, but You are not allowed to ruin this moment. “Cassock. It can be washed.”

Teomitl shifted. It was getting uncomfortable to be so joined together; still, when he lifted himself off of Acatl’s cock, he shuddered at the overstimulation of it. “Nnh...oh, fuck, we made a mess.”

They had. He tried not to think about the actual state of his trousers as he reached for the box of tissues he kept by the bench in case of crying parishioners. Postcoital cleanup was one of those things no amount of independent research had prepared him for, but as awkward as it was, at least it meant he didn’t have to talk. Now that the endorphins were fading, he didn’t know what he was supposed to say. He was far too aware of Teomitl slipping back into his own pants, of the flex of muscle and the rustle of fabric so close to him.

Finally, Teomitl did up his belt and broke the silence between them. “So. Same time next week?”

He nearly choked on his own spit, feeling his face catch fire. “I…”

Worse, Teomitl was smirking again. He could hear it in his voice, that wicked curl that sent heat through his veins all over again. “I’m sure I’ll have a lot to confess.”

Before he could think better of it he drew himself up to better meet Teomitl’s eyes, desire shifting to the first stirrings of irritation. You may tease me, but do not mock me. “We haven’t discussed your penance for this one.”

“Oh?” The question came with a curious tilt of his head, but the gleam in his eyes was far from innocent.

“As you said, you tempted a priest to sin—to break the vows I made before God.” He could hardly believe his own daring. Even after what they’d just done, it seemed like too much of a transgression. He was being too greedy, asking too much. But somehow, it felt right. After breaking one vow, what worth are the rest? When he spoke, his voice didn’t shake at all. “Give me your number. Next time you have these...urges…” He swallowed. “Call me?”

Teomitl’s smile was his answer.

#obsidian and blood #acatl #teomitl #teocatl #not work safe #paladin writes stuff

2 notes · View notes