#anyway i said i'm totally indifferent

[im-goin-mad]

dressing up as euronymous for halloween and putting on one of these bad boys

[chuluoyi]

the birthday boy

- fushiguro megumi x reader

your boyfriend is indifferent towards his own special day, but with you, he actually finds it worth celebrating

genre/warnings: fluff, fluff, fluff with a teeny weeny dash of angst

notes: loosely based on this fanart. pls just give my boi back gege you awful one-eyed cat how could you hold him hostage even on his birthday

listen to: sakura koi by mosawo don't mind me i just get all soft for this poor boy *sigh*

general masterlist

Megumi never really liked birthdays—his own birthdays, specifically.

"Come on, Megumi... just what is it that you want for your present?" you pleaded, pursing your lips together as you faced your boyfriend. "I don't want to give you a surprise only to find out it's not something you'd enjoy!"

However, ever since Gojo went and took him in, ever since he began attending Jujutsu High, and ever since he started dating you, to his chagrin, everyone started making a big fuss over it.

With the straightest face ever, he glanced at you and muttered, "I'm telling you, you can get me whatever."

"That's not an answer!"

"Seriously, you can pick anything. I'm good with anything."

You huffed in exasperation. "You're so unbelievably uncooperative, sheesh."

"On the contrary, I think I'm being quite amiable," he deadpanned. "You don't have to think about it that hard."

In a way, you should've expected this. Your boyfriend was never one who made a big deal over anything, and he probably meant it when he said that he was good with whatever. Your soft boy was just wired that way.

Meanwhile, to Megumi, his birthday was more of a remainder of good old days he spent with his kind sister and Gojo—when times were much more simpler. When Tsumiki was still alive and well. Call him an emo, but he was just feeling bittersweet.

Tsumiki would craft him this makeshift party hat, and Gojo would get him an overly sweet birthday cake with an even more over-the-top frostings. They'd join in singing him happy birthday, and Gojo's singing would be intentionally and especially awful while at it.

But now that he thought back to it, he kind of missed those times.

You threw him a narrowed-eyed look. "Forget it, I half-expected this anyway—" but then, suddenly struck by an idea, you exclaimed, "—oh! Wait, I know!"

Your enthusiastic exclamation caught his attention, and he silently observed as you furiously tapped away on your phone, scouring Google for standard gift ideas for boyfriends.

For the next half-hour, you continuously sought his feedback on each of suggestions. However, Megumi only nodded or agreed with evident disinterest, which didn't really answer your question at all.

“You’re seriously going to be like this, huh?” you sighed, frowning in total indignation, but in your boyfriend’s eyes, you were the height of absolute cuteness.

As you grumbled inwardly about how dull he was, Megumi wore a small smile. Truthfully, if asked, his ideal birthday would revolve around spending time with you. You didn't have to lose your head over this.

Needless to say, you were still trying to make it an event to remember. And Megumi knew, because you were so obvious it was giving him secondhand embarrassment.

"Itadori! I'm telling you—" you were rebuking a sheepish Yuji on broad daylight regarding which color for balloons to be placed in the class on the day of his birthday. Earlier, he saw you and Nobara huddled together, talking about cakes and pastries, then also animatedly discussing with Inumaki, Panda and Maki, pulling out all the stops for a celebration plan without missing a beat.

Megumi could only facepalm at your attempt to maintain secrecy—in which you were failing miserably, almost as if you hadn't really made an effort at all.

"Isn’t it nice, Megumi?" suddenly Gojo slid beside him, with a stupid grin on his face. "Someone who exclusively goes this far for you, hmm?"

"It's embarrassing..."

"Ha! Don't be shy," Gojo barked, leaving him with a friendly pat in the back before stalking away with a snicker, and Megumi wasn't the least bit amused. He was certain that at least, Yuji and Nobara would tease the heck out of him after all was said and done due to your antics.

Even so, he didn't have the heart to stop you, appreciating your well-meaning efforts. He felt somewhat soft too inside, as he didn't expect that there would be someone who cared about this way too much like you did. Just it felt strange—

—because last he remembered, the only person who was hellbent on making his birthday a nice memory was Tsumiki.

. . .

So you were organizing a surprise party for him alongside others. Megumi already knew that, he had anticipated it and frankly, he didn’t actually expect much, but when he actually stepped into the classroom and was greeted with a literal bang, confetti, colorful banners, balloons, and a crowd of well-wishers, he was floored.

“Fushiguro! Happy birthday!”

“Look happier a little, would you?!”

“Look! Look! We got you a cake!”

Yuji and Panda almost hugged him—but before he could, Megumi shoved them away, Nobara handed him a paper bag tied with a pretty bow with a cool smile—believing her gift to be the best, Inumaki gave his hand a shake, and Maki wished him only the best.

All of this was within his expectations. He knows, and yet…

"Hey, Megumi! Smile!" your voice stood out the most, along with your widest smile, beaming and gesturing towards the camera as you were about to take a group picture.

Megumi swore his heart skipped a beat. His pretty, sweet girlfriend. Your affections reached him, and it dampened the hardness that he always carried inside his heart. In that fleeting moment, he felt you were radiant, just like the sun.

Then he turned his gaze and found the person he knew he could never thank enough in this lifetime. Gojo, for the first time in a while, wasn't the clown he made himself to be for his sake. Standing with crossed arms, he quietly watched over him, nodding towards the camera as well with a meaningful smile.

Megumi felt warm, he felt loved, and he wouldn’t admit it, but this might be the best day of his life—surrounded by you and his friends like this. And he actually felt more than just that, but no words could do it justice, because nothing could have ever captured the overwhelming fullness inside his chest.

Tsumiki... You see... I'm doing well, you know?

Later, after all festivities are done, you managed to pull him into a secluded corner of the dorms to give him your one-of-a-kind gift, while fidgeting nervously.

"What is it?" he questioned, gaze squarely fixed on you. "At this point, there's no need for you to be this nervous. Nothing could've surprised me any more than Panda's giant panda earlier."

You laughed, recalling how he nearly got squashed by the life-sized stuffed panda earlier, but then you averted your gaze, feeling your face flush and turning into the cutest shade of pink.

"Well! To be fair, it was because you were so uncooperative when I asked what you wanted for your gift! And since I have gotten you the cake, I figured it'll be fun if you want to play this game..."

You huffed, and Megumi simply blinked in confusion when you handed him five pieces of papers—tickets? He turned them over to find the words "Free Pass" written on each one.

"Sooo you can use each ticket to ask me to do anything! Anything at all, be it me dancing to the worst song you can think of, or whatever!" your cheeks were burning so hard, but your resolute gaze kept him captivated as you continued, "So yeah, you get five free passes to make me do things I wouldn't normally do."

Lips pursed, eyes sparkling, cheeks ablaze. All in all, you were irresistibly adorable that Megumi had this overwhelming urge to scoop you up and put you inside his pocket if he could.

And really, free passes? Did you not consider the numerous exploitable loopholes he could subject you to?

"Okay, here, I want to use my first ticket."

"Huh! Already? What is it?"

He chuckled then, his lips tugging into the warmest of smiles, and you felt your heart soar, seeing that rare carefree expression on him.

"I want to kiss you."

[luveline]

hi jade!!! i was wondering if i could request a bassist!remus x roadie!reader fic in which they spend time together on their day off from touring? maybe reader is totally surprised that he even asked her?

hi gorgeous!! modern au, fem 1k

cw vague adult theme, mdni 

"There you are," Remus says, as though he's said it a hundred times before, and he'll say it a hundred times again. "I've been looking for you." 

As a roadie (merchandising, mostly), there's no reason for Remus to know who you are, nor care, but he seems to like you anyhow. And there's nowhere for you to hang out in your downtime beside hotel lobby's or your literal assigned seat in the minivan, so here you are, in your pyjamas, laying on a random lobby couch with a book smushed to your chest. 

"What?" you ask, wiping the sleep from your eyes. 

"I've been looking for you. You weren't in your room." 

"I share my room with three other girls, one who has sleep apnea." The muscles in your back sing like plucked strings as you sit up. "It's quieter here… You're looking for me?" 

"Mm. Come on. We'll go get a late dinner." 

"I'm in my pyjamas." 

Remus gestures down at himself. "I thought you might be." 

He's dressed down too. Every roadie has their thing —it's hard, learning so many names at once, and eventually people begin to typecast one another as their most defining feature. Yours, to your indifference, seems to have become your more comfortable clothing choices. You're not gross, everything's clean, but is everything acceptable attire for going out into the world? 

"No one will even notice they're pyjamas," he assumes you, holding out his hand expectantly. "They look like jogging bottoms." 

"Remus, they're lavender." 

He pulls your hand toward his chest, encouraging you to stand. "They're nice." 

He ferries you out of the hotel, and you thank your lucky stars you wore your converse rather than the hotel slippers. He's clearly thought about this, offering you a hoodie (your size, clearly swiped from the merchandise van, 'marauders' written in jagged lettering across your shoulders like bat wings) as he explains the details of your trip. 

"First we'll get dinner. Then see a film in the cinema, if you want to? They have the new Exorcist." 

"I love horror." 

"I know." He nods to himself. "And then I have to buy you fresh donuts. James says they're the only way to eat them." 

"You don't have to buy me anything." 

"Sorry, I should say it differently. I'd love to buy you fresh donuts. If that's what you want to do." 

You peek at him from the corner of your eye. "I would've stayed in the lobby if I didn't want to come out with you." 

"In that case," he murmurs, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. 

This is worse than flirting. It feels like an initiation, or a turned tide. You smile at him from under his arm and he visibly pauses, falters, before his own smile hooks and he walks forward with a little more purpose. 

The day moves on as promised. You eat a quick dinner at a mid range restaurant before he takes you to the cinema, where he insists he doesn't want any popcorn but eats half of yours anyways. Then he takes you for donuts, and the entire time, you're thinking, what does he want from me? If Remus wanted sex he could fuck a groupie. Half the techs would crawl into bed with him if he asked. Maybe he's just gentlemanly? 

But why would he wanna fuck you? Ignoring any self-esteem issues, you're in cuffed bottoms and bare-faced, and he has no reason to believe you'd be any good in bed. 

He might want something slower, he decides. It's easier to believe when he asks if he can hold your hand on the walk home. 

"What?" you ask, sure you heard him wrong. 

"Can I?" he says, offering you his palm. 

It's different from his pulling earlier. You give him your hand and he squeezes his fingers between yours slowly, as though savouring the feeling.

You shake your head. "Was this…" 

Remus waits for you to finish. It's hard to ask under the weight of his gaze, happy but with that air of knowing you can't quite crack. He always seems so put together, even when he's asking for things, like any answer you give is one he's prepared for. 

"Was this a date?" you force out. 

"That depends. Did it go well?" 

"I would've said yes, if you asked me." 

Remus leans in like he's telling a secret, his voice hushed to match. "I know," he says gently, the tiniest hint of smugness threaded in the slight scratch of his voice. "That's mostly why I didn't ask." 

"Mostly?" 

"I couldn't face rejection. Not from you." His eyes light with an emotion you can't name. "But if you still want to reject me, I'll cope. It might be good for me, actually, it'll give me some material. Nothing makes for better music than losing a pretty girl." 

You fluster at his wording. "I would've worn something nice," you say apologetically. "If I'd known. I would've made an effort to look nice." 

"You always look nice. You think I'm put off by your pyjamas?" 

"Stop," you mumble, mortification creeping in. I can't believe I just went on a date with a rockstar in my pyjamas. 

"It's cute. You're cute, I love that you can fall asleep anywhere–" 

"Stop!" 

Remus laughs and pulls you that last inch into his side, elbow to elbow, hip to hip. "I can't. Teasing you is half the fun. It's why I haven't mentioned the powdered sugar on your lip." 

You sigh and turn your face away from him, wiping your lip with your sleeve. "You always do this." 

"Don't wipe it off, I'll get it. It'll taste sweet." 

You take your hand out of his. "Did you want this to be a date? I'll change my mind." 

He's kinder after that, and when he rubs your shoulder like he knows you need it, you almost pass out. 

[lee-laurent]

Slim Pickins - Jack Hughes

Summary: Ana's got slim pickings

content: kissing, allusions to sex, fluff, minor angst, bittersweet ending

wc: 1.8k

inspired by sabrina carpenter's song slim pickins from her new album short n' sweet!

notes: i love sabrina carpenter!! and her new album EATS! i thought of writing a jack fic as soon as i heard the full song!! enjoy!!!

Guess I'll end this life alone I am not dramatic These are just the thoughts that pass right through me

Ana had given up on finding the "perfect guy." Every guy she dated just let her feelings unsatisfied and disappointed. Her friends were beyond excited to introduce her to Jack. They'd dragged her along to the bar, meeting their boyfriends there, and shoving her in the direction of Jack.

A smirk took up his face as soon as his eyes met hers. The blonde just narrowed her eyes, waiting for him to say something. Introduce himself and show her this "Hughes" charm she'd heard so much about from the girls.

"Hey, I'm Jack," he said, extending his hand with a confidence that bordered on arrogance.

Ana took it, her grip firm, but she didn't bother with a smile. "Ana," she replied coolly, already bored.

Jack's smirk deepened, and she could see he was expecting her to be more impressed, maybe even flustered. But Ana was neither.

"Nice to meet you, Ana," he continued, leaning in slightly. "Your friends have been telling me a lot about you."

"Oh, I'm sure they have," Ana said, her tone flat. She glanced around, noticing how her friends were watching eagerly, clearly hoping for sparks. The only sparks Ana felt were the ones of irritation.

Jack raised an eyebrow at her lackluster response, clearly not used to being met with such indifference. "So... what do you do for fun?"

"Read," she replied simply, taking a sip of her drink. "I'm into fiction, but I like a good biography every now and then. You?"

"Uh, I play hockey. For the Devils."

"I know," she said, not bothering to add that she couldn't care less about hockey.

The conversation dragged on, Jack trying to charm her with his stories from the rink. Ana just nodded along, letting her mind wander. She had already resigned herself to the idea that the "perfect" guy didn't exist--not for her, anyway. And Jack, with his cocky grin and predictable lines, wasn't about to change that.

But as the night wore on and she saw the hopeful glances from her friends, Ana sighed inwardly. Maybe it was time to stop holding out for someone who ticked all her boxes. Maybe, just maybe, it was time to settle for someone who could at least hold a conversation--even if it wasn't what she wanted.

With that thought, she decided to give Jack a little more attention to see where things would go.

A boy who's jacked and kind Can't find his ass to save my life

Ana watched as Jack laughed at something one of the other girls' boyfriends had said, the sound rich and easy. He looked the part--tall, athletic, with that effortless charm that had most girls falling head over heels. Her friends had raved about how he was the total package: a boy who was both jacked and kind.

But as Ana sipped on her drink and observed him more closely, she noticed the flaws in her friends' description. Like the way his eyes glazed over whenever the conversation veered away from him and/or hockey, or how he seemed more interested in impressing his friends than actually getting to know her.

Sure, Jack was kind in a superficial way--polite enough, quick with a smile, and generous with compliments (when it benefitted him). It wasn't that she needed him to be perfect-- God knows she'd given up on that fantasy long ago--but she couldn't help the pang of disappointment that she felt. Jack was exactly what everyone had said: good-looking, successful, and charming. But beneath that, he didn't really have much that Ana looked for.

"So, do you follow much hockey?" Jack asked, walking back over from where he had been with his friends.

"Not really," she admitted, her tone more honest than before. "It's never really been my thing."

Jack nodded, looking a little thrown. "Oh. Well, what are you into then?"

Ana considered lying, giving him an answer she knew he'd like, but decided against it. "Honestly? I'm more into arts and stuff like that--books, museums, writing."

Jack's smile wavered, and Ana could tell he was struggling to find a way to connect with her. It wasn't really his fault, she knew she wasn't making it easy. But as she looked at him, trying so hard to find common ground, she couldn't help but feel the weight of her earlier thoughts.

It was time to lower her expectations.

As everyone was saying their goodbyes, Jack gave her a lingering look, clearly hoping for a sign that she was interested. Ana smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Thanks for tonight, Jack. It was... nice."

"Yeah, maybe we could do this again sometime?"

"Maybe."

Oh, it's slim pickings If I can't have the one I love I guess it's you that I'll be kissin' Just to get my fixings Since the good ones are deceased or taken I'll just keep on moanin' and bitchin'

As the weeks went by, Ana found herself spending more time with Jack. Not because she was falling for him, but because it was easier than being alone. The more they hung out, the more she realized that Jack was exactly who she thought he was--nice, handsome, but not who she'd been hoping for her whole life.

One night, after a dinner with their mutual friends, they found themselves alone, walking through the streets of Newark. Jack reached for her hand, and Ana let him take it, though the warmth she'd hoped to feel never came. Instead, she felt a dull ache of acceptance. This wasn't what she wanted, but it was better than nothing, right?

Jack stopped walking, turning to face her. There was something in his eyes. "Ana," he began, his voice softer than usual, "I really like you. I want this to work."

He was trying--really trying--and it wasn't fair to him that she couldn't muster the same enthusiasm. But life had a way of wearing down those high hopes she once held onto.

She forced a smile, leaning to press a quick kiss to his lips. "I like you too, Jack," she said, though the words felt hollow.

The continued walking, hand in hand, and Ana thought about what her perfect guy looked like. Maybe George Harrison or a young Bob Dylan. A guy with soul, who wrote her songs and poems. Wasn't afraid to talk about feelings, but was still just as attractive as Jack. But Jack was here, and he was nice, but he wasn't a young Jimmy Page.

That night, as she lay in bed next to Jack, who had fallen asleep almost immediately, Ana stared at the ceiling, her thoughts swirling. She knew she should be grateful--Jack was sweet, he cared about her--but the spark wasn't as strong as she dreamed.

Jesus, what's a girl to do? This boy doesn't even know The difference between "there," "their" and "they are"

Ana tried to focus on whatever her friends were yapping about, but Jack's text messages kept lighting up her phone. The boy didn't even know the difference between "there," "their," and "they are."

She reread his text over and over again. "I'll meet you over at they're place. Their should be plenty of parking outside if you don't wanna walk." Ana had almost chucked her phone across the room at the sight of it.

"You okay, Ana Banana?" one of the girls asked.

"Yeah, sorry, just thinking about shit."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Ana hesitated. What was she supposed to say? That she was annoyed because her boyfriend couldn't differentiate between basic homophones? That she was frustrated because she wanted more than he could offer? It wasn't fair--he wasn't really doing anything wrong.

"Nah, it's stupid. Just work stuff," she shrugged. "Continue your story."

Yet he's naked in my room Missin' all the things he's missin'

Jack sighed, pulling her body into his. She cringed at the feeling of his sweaty chest against her back. The room was quiet, just the sound of their breathing returning to normal. She turned to look at him, brushing some of the hair stuck to his forehead back. He looked at her with so much care in his eyes, massaging the skin of her thigh.

He was completely unaware of everything she thought was missing in him. So oblivious to the things that mattered to her. He didn't understand her passion for literature, her love for art, or the way she craved deep, meaningful conversations with her boyfriend.

But none of that mattered to Jack, he was just happy to have Ana by his side. And it made her feel so guilty. But if she didn't have Jack... what would she have? She'd be back to being lonely and bored with her life. At least Jack brought some excitement with him.

Since the good ones call their exes wasted And since the Lord forgot my gay awakenin' Then I'll just be here in the kitchen Servin' up some moanin' and bitchin'

The kitchen was dimly lit, the soft glow of the overhead lights casting shadows on the walls. Ana was putting away the last of the dishes from dinner, her mind preoccupied with everything she'd been thinking about over the entirety of their relationship. The rhythmic clicking of plates was a soothing backdrop to her contemplation.

Jack had been quieter than usual, his nerves evident as he fidgeted with his phone as she dried their wine glasses. Ana glanced over, noticing his unease but attributing it to work stress or something else she didn't understand.

After she finished cleaning, Jack took a deep breath and approached her, his face the most serious she'd ever seen. Ana's heart skipped a beat as she saw him pull out a small velvet box from his pocket.

"Ana," he began, "I know things haven't always been perfect, but I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

Ana's breath caught in her throat as she looked at the ring. She had been contemplating the idea of settling for the last year, and now, faced with Jack's heartfelt proposal, she couldn't ignore it any longer.

"Since the good ones all call their exes wasted," she thought, reflecting on all her past disappointments and the unattainable ideal she once chased.

Then I'll be here in the kitchen, servin' up some moanin' and bitchin'. The idea echoed in her mind as she stood there, knowing that despite her doubts, Jack was offering her a commitment that she might not find elsewhere.

"Yes, Jack," Ana smiled. "I will marry you."

Jack's face lit up with joy as he slipped the ring onto her finger. Ana had come to terms with the idea that while Jack might not be the "perfect" partner she once dreamed of, he was a solid choice in a world of slim pickings. She had chosen to move forward with him, not because he was perfect, but because he was the best she could find.

Jack just might have to put up with some moanin' and bitchin'.

[crushedsweets]

Would you ever consider including nurse ann in more of your art/ stories? She's one of my favorite characters and I think your design for her is amazing lmao- I'd also sort of like to know what her relationship with the others would be like

yes. actually. i would love to . ok i have some vague ideas for how shed fit into the lore so thatll be under the cut !! i also start rambling about lulus lore too cuz i decided theyre friends.

ok so, again, my au is based around slenders forest being like... some sort of magnet for the paranormal. slenderman wants to keep all of these cryptids within the forest.

since its in a fictionalized forest in tuscaloosa, where marble hornets was filmed, i decided to move the abanonded hospital they visited up north of the tuscaloosa lake. she roams there.

SOOOOO nurse ann is just... a demon. slenders forest is sort of like limbo for a lot of the cryptids and kinda puts them in like.. a long daze and loops unless they're consistently leaving or being grounded by humans.

i dont EXACTLY know why/how she's in that specfic hospital, especially since i dont believe she has an official origin? maybe when the hospital shut down, she was let go and wasn't transferred to work in a new hospital, so she lost her shit and preformed some crazy rituals that ended up making her an undead nurse ? now she's forever roaming the hospital. or maybe she was killing patients when she was a human and kept doing weird demon shit with their bodies and the operator/zalgo fed off of her bad vibes. LOL IDK.

now about lulu cuz i drew her too.

i used to be sooo fond of lulu. and i originally said she was just going to be another ghost roaming the forest pointlessly, mourning everything and being incapable of interacting with humans, BUUUUUT. she is 24 and NOT A GHOST?!?!??!?! IDK WHY ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT SHE WAS JUST A GHOST WHO AGES CUZ YK HOW CHIBIWORKS STUFF WAS BACK THEN LOL... i def am tired of little kids being tortured and all these children ghosts tho so im kinda glad to have smth new to write. anyway. so im thinking lulus just another little demon thing... i'm thinking her story goes.

she was in strict private schools all of k-12, and went to uni on her own in tuscaloosa. she wanted to branch out, have a little rebelious phase, make friends, etc. tried to join a co-ed frat. she experienced an absolutely horrific hazing when she was like 19, the frat fully believed they killed her by accident and in their panic, tried to bury her in slenders forest, and some demonic entity in the forest infected her before she was buried fully. she ends up climbing out of her shallow grave, never having died. perhaps the operator did it, perhaps zalgo like in her og lore ? PERHAPS ANN CUZ SHES A DEMON HERSELF?

anywaaayyyyy :3 l think theyd be cute friends. they just look really cute together and i could see good chemistry so i totally would love to expand on them and make them friends. maybe expand more on the type of species they are, what kind of powers they have(esp if i make ann the demon who infects lulu).

BUUUUT ALSO this made me realize i should totally look into adding zalgo to my lore. cuz it doesnt make sense for the operator to make anyone a demon, thats not really what he does.... and i dont want him to do that i just dont like the vibes. so mmm yes.

anyway in terms of relationships..

lulu and her are cool good besties beautiful they would take selfies and do tiktok dances together.

masky and hoody are incredibly indifferent to her, because they dont have to worry/visit her often. she stays in the hospital thats in the forest, and thats exactly where slenderman wants her, so theyre content. theyre kinda grateful she keeps lulu in the hospital too, cuz lulu actually freaks them out bc she'll be jumping at them and shit talking about their eyes.

tobys EXTREMELY scared of ghosts (bc of his hallucinations of his sisters ghost . . ). he eventually gets over it(kinda?) with sally, but he keeps accusing ann and lulu and the sort of being ghosts cuz they just.. kinda pop in and out. at least jack has to walk into the room to show up. so he doesnt like them

mmm jack wouldnt like her IF he knows that she kinda turned herself into a demon through like, a ritual or smth. he'd be beyond pissed to know someone CHOSE to be what he is. if he doesnt know, he doesnt care for her. he kinda jokes about 'well why dont YOU be their medic' and shes like 'dont fuckin wanna be'.

jane and liu and kate prob dont know her... kate might but wouldnt care.

jeff would prob think shes hot or some bullshit and nina would be beyond pissed. at first ninas like AHHH SHES SO COOL cuz shes a fangirl at heart, but the second she hears a single 'goddamn' from jeff shes livid.

ben prob wouldnt care much for her... hes so uninterested in demons idk why i just feel like he doesnt care.

clockwork would LOVE HER. she'd think she's so fucking cool. she'd try talking to her all the time but ann prob wouldnt be interested in clocky at all...

ofc the proxies purposefully come into contact with the paranormal the most because thats their job, so i wrote the most for them, but that doesn't mean theyre the closest or anything.

ok thank u anon you did smth to my brain that benefitted my mental health cuz i love writing this shit for the creeps thank u sm .

[redsaurrce]

LOVE SHOT - Dose 2 <remember your promise>

synopsis 💉 Where jk becomes the part of an experiment where he wasn't supposed to take the love shot but ends up taking it in high dose and gets obsessed with yn by mistake

pairing 💉 YANDERE Scientist!jeon jungkook x Scientist!fem reader

genre 💉 scientist!au

word count 💉 1,132

warnings 💉 mouth sucking, profanity

DOSE 1

taglist 💉 @aajjks @effielumiere @dearsullix @canarystwin @yourslut16 @imwithurmother @perfectlyfangirling @pnibts @bloodline1632 @hopeonysus @roundedreluv12 @jub-jub @maqsxi @kooscameras @jungkooksleftbigtoe13 @thatblena @yawnyanii @viridiphile @milkxgukk @outro-kook @puppiliciouslove @mata0-0mata @pk-jimin @jungchanie @ziraspells @twisted-loved @lunaofsun @inlovewithallmusic @sassyfoxunknown @teugiie @hsaranghoe @jjhmk @mryuyux @xxoverthinkerxx @fandems @hollyverday @ohmygodddsblog @fly-on-the-wall @lookformyvoice @slutforwwh @shakashakaa @meikoo @emochicksasukeee @dearly-somber

@mymomsaid-no @madnesstaking0ver @miyoung23 @outofst1le @jiminstreble @kanvis @k3lynn @imagine-this-motherfucker @dontcallmeelle @jkbabiey @1-in-abillion @bangmechanpls @uarmyhore @devils-blackrose @hrndez2008 @azur3s @erennjim @cherryunie @vynmin @fragmentof-indifference

Shin-won had left to attend the lab results meanwhile you fidgeted while sitting next to Jungkook.

Damn this is getting awkward.

Jungkook cleared his throat, "Um.. about earlier.."

"Hm?" You looked at him in anticipation.

"Uh., it wasn't my intention to react to your touch- I- I MEAN.. ugh" Jungkook immediately buried his face in his palms, "I'm sorry." He sighed.

"Well.." You scratched the nape of your neck, "It wasn’t really your fault, I understand." You said in a tone which was a mix of awkwardness, sympathy and uncertainty.

Jungkook removed the hands from his face and looked at you, "You sure are not pissed at me? I mean... I'm just saying, what.. if.. it happens again? What should i do?" He asked you with worry swimming in his orbs.

You shook your head, "i dont know.. Ah! Why dont I consult the chief about this?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "You think he'll help us? I highly doubt that.. still, there's no harm in asking anyway!"

You rolled your eyes, "Again with your daily slander about the chief, anyways i'm calling."

You fished out your phone from the pocket and dialed your chief's number.

"Hello chief?"

"Yes Y/N, how's your experiment going on?" Oh great, he's enthusiastic about it, he'll surely give his two cents of advice.. or so you thought.

"Uh.. well.. we've actually encountered a crisis so hoped if you-"

"Y/N sweetieee... if youve encountered a crisis, you ought solve it, not call me!"

"But I-"

"Y/N you're my most trusted junior, if there's a problem then I firmly believe that you'll definitely succeed in overcoming it. Now now I'm getting late for a seminar, update me when you're ready with a sample."

And he cut the call before you could say anything further.

You scoffed, "Hah?" You were baffled totally! "Look at him, not even bothered to listen! No wonder his wife doesn't love him-" You stopped as soon as you realised who was sitting next to you.

Jungkook who kept looking at you in amusement burst into a fit of laughter, "And I thought someone had a problem with me slandering the chief."

You looked at the smug smile on his face which made you poke your tongue inside your cheeks, "Fine I admit! He really deserves the slander."

You sighed and cracked your knuckles, "About the problem we have at hand, it's best that I keep monitoring you.. and.. uh.. maybe.." You hissed, "Maybe I can continue to help you with.. that.. yeah." You bit your lip while thinking about the possible consequences.

"You said it yourself Y/N, don't back out later." He said, his voice turning serious all of a sudden.

Why he did he become serious all of a sudden? Why... Did he feel he was in danger? Does he not trust you enough that he needs a solid answer from you?

You gulped, "Yeah, I know I said that and I'll remember it. I only want the best for you and--" You paused as soon as you looked at sweat forming on Jungkook's head, you contorted your eyebrows, is it repeating again?

"And- and.. what?" Jungkook said while lightly panting, he clearly looked uncomfortable yet he didn't utter a single word of help.

"Jungkook you don't look okay?" Yes he didn't, and it clearly looked that he was feeling dizzy.

"Jungkook you need my help right???"

"Ah- ah.. I .. ah.." He was gasping for air now with his right hand hitting his chest.

Of course Y/N he clearly needs your help, it was an emergency!

You sensed that and quickly kept your hand on his forehead.. To your surprise, nothing really happened.

"Y- Y/N I ca- can't... ahh... breath.. ahhh" Your eyes went wide and you didn't know what to do, you didn't even have any inhaler in your house and buying one and coming back is too risky for he might die in that time.

You kept your hand on his chest, "Jungkook, my touch isn't working I don't know what to do!" You were panicking, completely.

Jungkook looked at you in daze and before you could do anything, he latched his lips onto yours. You were taken aback and was about to punch him on instinct until you realised what he was doing.

He was sucking the air out from you.

So you tried to keep on helping him with breathing in air from your nose and him sucking it out from your mouth.

After a few minutes it seemed that he could finally breathe on his own so he detached his mouth from yours.

You were still facing in his direction trying to process what both of you just did while he let himself sink in the sofa and stared at the ceiling.

"Ah.. it feels much better now, thought I was going to die or something." He said and closed his eyes peacefully, suddenly the image of your lips appeared before his eyes. He slowly opened his eyes and touched his lips with his forefinger.

He felt a throbbing inside his pants.

Unnoticed by you, Jungkook had a slight smirk on him which he quickly hid the next second.

He turned towards you and called out your name, "Y/N!"

"Yes, what is it?" You asked him.

"Is.." He tilted his head and continued, "the antidote even working?"

You had no answer, all you could do now is to pray for it to work ASAP.

"I failed as a scientist, didn't I?" You said while feeling ashamed of yourself, "None of this would've happened if I didn't present the idea of making this shot that day, you wouldn't have suffered like this and---"

"Hushh!" Jungkook shut you up while placing his forefinger on your lips, "I and Shin-won are together in this with you since the very beginning so don't you dare say it was you who caused all of this."

Of course Jungkook knew it was his own fault for taking the dose triple the safe limit but he won't say that aloud just yet, because he had other plans in his mind.

He slowly rubbed your lower lip with his thumb and then spoke, "You are not a bad scientist as long as you keep your promise of continuing to help me. You didn't forget it just yet, did you?"

Jungkook didn't really do anything bad yet why did you shiver at his question?

You grew pale as you didn't know what was waiting for you ahead.

They say that a man fears darkness is because he can't see, he fears what he can't see and doesn't know what lies there in the unknown, he fears that what he can't see may harbour something deadly.

Which was exactly what your future looked like with him to you.

EHE BOYY YAN!JK IS FINALLY SEEING HIS AWAKENING JAJKJAKJKAKASKJ ALSO SMUT IN NEXT CHAP HAKAJSKJASKJ stay tuned ;) <33 alsooo the responses for dose 1 really caught me off guard ughhh ily guys sm 😭😭💟 may ur pillows be cold tonight!! Mwahh

--

DOSE 3

[kkurisuac]

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞

Pairing: Mitsuya Takashi x Fem Y/n

warning: kinda fluff, some angst, childhood friends to strangers to lovers

"I don't believe in love. Why is that a problem?", I asked, because I didn't understand why everyone was so upset about it.

"Because love is wonderful and you have to experience it. But if you don't believe love exists, you can't experience it!" Aki argued for her right.

"Aki-chan is right." Yuzuha agreed with Aki.

"I also agree with Aki-san." Hakkai also said.

"Takashi say you're with me." I looked at my best friend.

"I don't know. I've never felt love so I don't know whether to believe in it or not." Takashi replied which was totally justified.

"Love is like when you feel butterflies in your stomach, you get excited as soon as you see them, in your eyes they are perfect, you just think of them and then you feel happy, you want to see them, smell their scent, hear their voice laughing, see their smile." Aki outlined love.

"Oh, that's love. Then Aki is right, you really have to experience it." Takashi stood by Aki's side.

"Mitsuya as you said that maybe you have felt it too?" asked Aki excitedly.

"Maybe. Maybe there is a special person for me." Takashi said mysteriously. At this statement, we were all surprised and couldn't speak suddenly.

"Is there someone you haven't mentioned a word about? What Takashi?" I asked first.

"I don't have anyone, she's just special to me, but she doesn't know that." Takashi replied simply.

"Then tell her Mitsuya!" said Aki.

"Who's the girl Takashi?" I asked, since he never mentioned anything about her to me. But he just smiled at me and the others looked at each other knowingly as if they knew something.

"What now? What did I miss?" I looked at them all, but they just laughed at me.

"That should be a secret Y/n." Takashi said.

"Since when is it a secret if everyone knows but me?" I huffed, I think rightfully so.

"Don't worry Y/n-chan we don't know either." tried to reassure Yuzuha, but she was clearly lying.

I didn't question it further because I knew they wouldn't tell me. So it remains an eternal mystery to me who Takashi is in love with.

Me, Aki, Yuzuha, Hakkai and Takashi were always together. We did a lot of things together and had a lot of fun. Until I got a job offer overseas.

I was always working for the world to know me for once and I managed to do it. So leaving my friends behind I went to a completely new place without knowing anyone. It was a rough first few months, especially because before I left Takashi confessed his feelings. I couldn't accept them and I couldn't do anything about the fact that he loved me, because I never believed in love and so I couldn't reciprocate the feelings I didn't even know a little bit about. So I started my new life without the most important friend in my life.

So our friendship broke up and I didn't come back to Japan for years because no one was expecting me back. Even though they were very important to me, we couldn't keep in touch and I missed out on everything anyway. But now I'm back after seven years because it seemed like a good idea, but it's not. I don't want to meet anybody.

But I had to come back because I have a job here. It's the least I could do, because I could manage not to meet them, but I have to work with Aki and Hakaki. The ones who are most angry at me for leaving them behind. Okay, Hakkai is mostly mad at me for hurting Takashi. The only person who's indifferent to me is Yuzuha, so it's a bittersweet return.

"So I have to go to the design house alone? But I don't want to go alone!" I said to my manager who was busy.

"Y/n stop being a baby and go." he slammed the phone down on me.

"But-" I would have argued, but there was no one on the other end of the line. I was screwed.

I made my way to the place in agony, hoping to get hit by a car. I knew Aki and Hakkai would be there, but it was going to be embarrassing. I should never have taken this job.

I walked as slowly as I could, but still made it to the office quickly. I didn't go in straight away because I needed to build up the strength to face them after seven years. I don't want to see the dislike in their eyes, they are my dear friends.

I can do it, they are not strangers. "Hey." I greeted as soon as I entered and was afraid to look up, but I could feel everyone looking at me. But when I looked up, my eyes met Takashi's. What is he doing here? He was the only one we needed.

"Y/n-chan! You're more beautiful than in the pictures." Yuzuha hugged me and she was the only one who was at all happy to see me, but at least I only have to face three people who don't welcome me here.

"Thank you Yuzuha." I said awkwardly and I didn't know what to do with myself now, even though I didn't know until now.

"You've changed a lot Y/n." Takashi said, which really surprised me, because I thought he would be the only one who wouldn't talk to me. "This is not true. I am the same person I was. But you're all different." I looked at them, but I didn't look them in the eye. I meant what I said, because they really are completely different. I mean, the way they look is not the same as when I left them.

"This is really awkward, so let's get to work. Y/n sit here." Yuzuha said after getting tired of the tense atmosphere.

"Are these your drawings Takashi? These are just wonderful. I mean, it's not surprising, since you used to be talented. But I don't quite understand why we're looking at these now." I said when I saw Takashi's drawings. But everyone just looked at me with big blinks.

"Y/n-chan, you haven't seen these drawings?" asked Yuzuha in surprise.

"No? Should I have?" I asked back.

"So you didn't even know that Mitsuya is the designer of the clothes and you have to work with him?" continued Yuzuha. This can't be true! How could I work with someone for weeks who I rejected years ago and then left behind?

"No… Takashi I'm going to wear your clothes? So that's why you're here?" it occurred to me, what was he doing here

"I bet you didn't read the contract properly." Yuzuha sighed, knowing what I was like. I really could have been hit by a car.

"Maybe I just read it sloppily." I was ashamed, and the others laughed at me. Except for Aki, who didn't even twitch a muscle.

"You're right, you haven't changed a thing." Takashi said.

"Y/n then I would take off your sizes." Takashi said and pushed the others out.

It was very embarrassing to be alone with him, and it made me feel even more embarrassed to have to stand in front of him in my underwear. But I'm a model, so that shouldn't be a problem for me. It wouldn't be if it wasn't Takashi.

"And what's it like to return to Japan after seven years?" asked Takashi, to relieve some tension.

"It's honestly wonderful. I've always loved living here and none of the countries compare to Japan, even though I've been to so many places." I replied happily, because it was the first time someone had asked me about it and I always felt comfortable around Takashi by default.

"Which was your favourite? Although I bet it was Italy." he looked at me, but I couldn't keep eye contact because it was a bit awkward.

"You continue to know me well. I loved every minute of it when I was there. I'm sure you would have loved it too. Although you may have been there before, you're actually a famous fashion designer that only I didn't know about." I immersed myself in the conversation. Takashi always knew how to relax me when I was tense.

"Yes, I've been there with Aki. And it was really amazing." he smiled at me. "We're done." he added.

At least Takashi isn't as mad at me, I mean not as mad as I thought he would be. I thought he wouldn't even look at me. That's a relief, I hope the others will be able to forgive me because we'll be working together for the next six weeks.

"Can I walk you home, Y/n?" asked Hakkai after I got out of the office. I was quite surprised, because I hadn't expected this at all. It was difficult to talk to Hakkai anyway, because he was always too embarrassed, but I got better at talking to him as time went by, but seven years have passed since then.

"If I don't bother you, I will.", I said, afraid of what he would say, because he was always an important friend of mine.

"I missed you so much Y/n-chan." Hakkai said sincerely and I was incredibly happy.

"Don't you hate me?" I asked, surprised.

"No, I was just a little mad at you, but not like Aki-chan." she said. I was really worried for nothing.

"Aki is really mad at me after all this time, even though she would have done the same thing if she were me." I said my opinion which Hakkai agreed with. She was my best friend and I put her through joining our little group of friends. However, for some reason, she didn't take it too well that I had received an overseas offer. We have not been friends since.

"Aki-chan has changed a lot since you left. She's become very jealous since then and has completely abandoned that hopeless love-girl self." Hakkai described Aki, and I was surprised, because Aki was famous for being selfless and childish.

"But why? What happened?", I asked, because I couldn't understand the reason, my ex-best friend couldn't have changed so much for that.

"You and Aki were best friends, you supported her and she tried to live up to you." Hakkai said, and I just listened in confusion. I'm inattentive, but not that inattentive. "And she was always very jealous of you because you got a job in America because of your many years of success here, and she was very upset by that. But this is mostly about Taka-chan." Hakkai told me, and I listened in surprise, because I knew nothing about it. But what does Takashi have to do with it? Sure, Takashi is her friend too, but I didn't hurt him enough to make Aki hate me.

"Takashi? What does he have to do with this?" I asked, increasingly confused.

"Taka-chan loved you first, not Aki-chan." Hakkai said simply, as if I was supposed to understand.

"Because Takashi loves Aki?" asked I, still not understanding what was going on. Okay, maybe I am being too careless after all.

"Aki-chan and Taka-chan are engaged. Don't you know anything?" he asked indignantly that I didn't know that either. That's quite a plot twist.

"How was I supposed to know? But honestly!" I said nervously that he holds me to account, even though he wasn't talking to me.

"Okay, you're right. Then let's start with the fact that you rejected Taka-chan, he was very down, and Aki happened to be right next to him. That's how their relationship started and then they got engaged a month ago." he told me succinctly. That sounds pretty sneaky. Was Aki always like that?

So Takashi and Aki. Interesting couple. How long have they been so close, anyway? Since when does Aki like Takashi? Why is Takashi getting over me so quickly? Aki has always hated me?

The next day, I started the day at Takashi's office to discuss the details of the fundraiser. Takashi always had such a good heart and helped others, I always admired that about him.

After talking to Hakkai a lot last night, I felt much more relaxed between them than I had yesterday afternoon. Although that might be due to the fact that Aki hadn't shown up yet. I would be happy if she would talk to me and we could talk, but I guess that's not going to happen.

As Hakkai told me a few things about the past few years, I realized that I never really knew Aki. Hakkai said things I never knew, even though I was there. For example, that Aki has long been in love with Takashi and was jealous of me for 'taking' her place. I never noticed, because she never did anything to make me notice. But it bothers me that I was so blind and that while I saw her as my best friend, she saw me as the enemy.

However, I can't do anything with this information because I'm leaving again in six weeks. Besides, I have no right to care about Aki and Takashi's relationship, because I'm leaving and they're getting married. But the thought still bothers me. I mean Japan is my home and I haven't been home for a long time, it's bad to think about leaving again.

"I've also been set up with quite a few model guys or actors that I met around that time." I said, after Hakkai had also told me that the last time it had appeared on the internet that he was with another model girl. But it's clear that's not the case, because Hakkai continues to freeze in the presence of strange girls. I remember how long it took him to get to talk to me.

"I saw the latest news where you're at a party and you're going out with another model. Taka-chan was already panicking that you picked someone up there Ame-" Hakkai interrupted after Yuzuha nudged his shoulder. "I mean the news was true?" he corrected himself.

"No. I had a few photo shoots with him, we used to talk at some events, but that's about it. He has a girlfriend anyway." I replied, but sensed something was wrong.

"Well, I didn't expect anything else from you Y/n-chan." Hakkai said happily. "But I guess there was someone else in the picture you might have dated." Hakkai continued. How did we get to my non-existent love life?

"You know me like that?" I asked seriously, but I wanted to end the subject as soon as possible.

"So you still don't believe in love?" continued Hakkai.

"No, because I haven't really felt it yet. But I didn't take it like seven years ago. So I want to experience it now and say I believe in it." I replied honestly, but even surprised myself with that answer. There must be something in that Japanese air.

"Now that we have discussed Y/n's exciting life, we can get back to work. Taka, let's go over the plans again." Aki said, turning to her fiancé, who had arrived in the meantime.

I preferred to keep silent and said nothing, not wanting to upset Aki any more than I already had. Although I have no idea what to think about her because she was my best friend, but now she is a completely different person. Or maybe she's always been like that, I just didn't see it, which scares me a little.

"Takashi would you start with me? Because after this I have an important call I can't miss." I said to the boy after my manager texted me that I had a call to attend.

"Sure, come Y/n." Takashi agreed and helped me get dressed.

All the dresses were gorgeous that were made for the benefit, although I didn't expect anything else from Takashi, as his talent is undeniable, it has been in the past.

"Another job opportunity?" asked Takashi as he adjusted the dress for me.

"Yes. I've been waiting at least six months for this call. If they want me, I can work in Italy for a year and that would be heaven for me." I said excitedly.

"So you're going to live in Italy after this?" asked Takashi, who is aware of my dream to live in Italy.

"If all goes well, yes. My dream would come true and my work wouldn't be in vain."

"I'm sure you'll get the job, and if you don't they'll lose because you're a prize for everyone. Your future husband will be lucky to have you." he said looking at me in the mirror. I saw the bitter smile on his face and for some reason it made me sad to see Takashi like that.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, but we'll see. A few hours and we'll find out if I'm going to Italy from here or back to America." I said, a little confused. I don't know what's gotten into me, but I need to get a grip.

"Isn't there an option for you to stay here?" he asked kindly. Was Takashi always this soft with me?

"I've been thinking about moving back home. But you know it's always been a dream of mine to be an international model and finally make it happen. I don't want to give that up just yet. When I have a family I'll move home, but until I have someone to stay for I won't." I explained my choice.

"I didn't say give up, I just said come home." Takashi said. "If six years ago when I confessed my feelings and you felt the same way I did, would you have stayed?" he asked as he looked me in the eye. His question surprised me so much that I suddenly couldn't answer. I don't even know what the right answer is. Why is it so important?

"I don't know… If you had asked me to, maybe, but I have no idea. I never thought about it." I said, confused. I'm not prepared for such questions.

"But I was never an option for you, was I?" he smiled bitterly and my heart ached to see it. I never wanted to hurt Takashi, especially not this much.

"Takashi-" I would have said something, but I couldn't think of anything to say in response.

"We're done." he said and let me go.

Does Takashi still love me? No, that's impossible, Aki is his fiancée. Yet the very thought makes me happy.

The show is in two weeks and everything is pretty much ready. The last few weeks have been great with the others and I already miss them when I think I have to leave soon. But instead I'm enjoying the time I have left.

I thought about spending the day with the others as I have been, but none of them are free. Hakkai has a photo shoot, which Yuzuha of course accompanied him to. And I don't want to be alone with Takashi. Firstly because of Aki, although she's out of town at the moment, I sometimes feel that she's following my every move with Takashi. And on the other hand, I feel like the more I'm around him, the more I hurt him. And it really hurts to see Takashi sad. Besides, I can't really concentrate on the conversations because I'm lost in his beautiful face. And it really bothers me that I can't be near him like I used to. I miss every minute we used to spend together and sometimes I wish he was just my friend and no one would bother me when we were talking. I almost regret I was the person who ever introduced him to Aki. It may be selfish of me to want Takashi for myself, but he was mine.

I thought I'd take advantage of the time alone and go shopping. I hadn't spent time alone in a long time and I'd walk around places I hadn't been in a long time.

It's incredibly nice to be home and I'll find it hard to leave the place again. Japan is my home after all, along with the people I grew up with.

"Y/n? Is that Y/n?" I heard my name and looked around and saw familiar faces.

"Baji! It's been a long time." I greeted the boy.

"Mitsuya said you were home, it sounded pretty unbelievable." he said, surprised.

"Right? I can hardly believe I'm here myself." I said happily. I didn't think he would recognize me after all this time. I used to be friends with them as a friend of Takashi's, but we never spent enough time together to become close friends.

"Baji how long do I have to wait for you?" asked Takashi not seeing Baji talking to me.

"Oh, Takashi." I said happily as soon as I saw Takashi.

"Y/n?! What are you doing here?" he asked as soon as he looked at me.

"I came to go shopping." I replied, perhaps too cheerfully. "But I won't bother you anymore. It was good to see you Baji. Takashi, I'll see you later." I tried to hurry away, because I felt that if I stayed any longer I would be staring at Takashi again.

"Wait Y/n! Would you like to eat with us? We're on our way there, if you're up for it, we'd love to see you." Baji said kindly.

"Yes! That would be great." I said as if I had been waiting for this. I was going to spend the day with Takashi after all. Not that I mind, in fact I'm glad.

"When you graduate, you're welcome to come to America." I said to Baji. "Although I might move back home before you graduate." I added, but only Takashi laughed at my joke.

"Hey! I can't help it that veterinary school is so hard!" defended Baji himself at once.

"Sure, Baji, we believe you." Takashi also replied. We had fun watching Baji try to prove that it wasn't his fault that he was still studying, but he failed, and in the meantime Chifuyu sent him a message that there was an emergency in the shop, so he had to rush off.

"Say hello to Kazutora and Chifuyu too!" said Baiji before he left. And then there was an awkward silence. Suddenly I felt very embarrassed in Takashi's company, but nothing occurred to me to start a conversation.

"Do you need a ride home?" Takashi asked. Oh, I guess he doesn't want to spend time with me. Not that I wanted to, but it hurt a little.

"No thanks. I want to walk around the old neighborhood where we used to live." I said and got ready to leave.

"Thanks, I had a good time." I said and quickly left, not wanting to disturb him. I guess our friendship that we had really is gone.

"Can I come with you?" Takashi stopped me and I was very surprised, but I couldn't deny that he made me happy.

"If you like." I replied and we started our walk together. Maybe I was wrong and he would still like to spend time with me. I really hope that's the truth because it makes me very happy.

Takashi and I walked around the old neighborhood and talked reminiscing. Back then everything was so calm and I never had to worry about what Takashi thought of me and that maybe I should stay away from him. We used to be almost inseparable and I wish that was true now. I don't want to have Aki standing between us all the time, the one who keeps me from talking to Takashi, the most important person in my life.

"I really miss the days when I'd come over to your house after school and we'd talk till late." I said my thoughts.

"Me too, but I miss you the most." he said, and suddenly I couldn't even answer. "I mean our friendship." he corrected himself in confusion. So not only do I miss him, but he misses me too. It couldn't have been a nicer thing to happen today.

"Takashi you know-" I wanted to tell him my thoughts but I was interrupted.

"Hi! Sorry to bother you, but you look beautiful, can I have your number?" a stranger asked and I just blinked wide in surprise.

"Sorry, no." I replied and turned back towards Takashi to continue the conversation.

"It'll just be a few minutes. I can't leave you with this, you're too beautiful for that." The boy continued, not wanting to realize it was time to go.

"Still no." I replied, but the guy was trying so hard he grabbed my hand.

"Dude understand he doesn't want anything from you." Takashi said quite angrily. I could feel him getting more and more tense around me, but I guess he could take it so far.

"I'm not talking to you." he said dismissively, still holding my hand, which I couldn't pull away from him.

"And he's not talking to you. Let her go now." Takashi said threateningly, but the guy felt very brave and hit Takashi. In shock I just watched as Takashi hit him back and the kid fell to the ground, which would have been fine if there hadn't been more of them.

"Takashi let's get out of here" I took the boy by the hand and we started running with five other people following us. Why do people like him have to find me now? Even Takashi is húrt becuse of me for being too pretty.

We ran all the way to a small alley and shook those idiots off.

"You know, I was in a gang. I was gonna take care of them." Takashi said while still hugging me for the small space.

"I know, but I didn't want you to get hurt any worse than that. Look what happened to your face anyway." I said looking at his wound.

"It's no big deal, as long as you're okay." he smiled sweetly.

"I'm sorry. I only attract trouble." I said regretfully.

"Then maybe I should be around you all the time to bail you out." he said jokingly.

"You'd just be holding me back. Look, I'm the reason we got saved this time." I said, looking him in the eye. Were his eyes always that beautiful?

"And you got us into this because you're too beautiful." He said and I blushed slightly at his praise, though it didn't change much because I was already red enough from his closeness.

"Takashi." I said his name as I leaned closer to him. This isn't right, and I still want to kiss him.

"Y/n?" he pronounced my name so nicely that I said the first thing that came to mind.

"I love you." I said and kissed my childhood best friend who was engaged to be married. I'm a terrible person. Yet I enjoy it and I never want this moment to end.

"We mustn't!" I said as soon as we parted and got out of the situation as fast as I could.

What an idiot I am! How could I say I loved him and kissed him? I mean he didn't disagree either, but it was still wrong. I shouldn't be feeling this way about Takashi at all, yet I can't wipe the smile off my face. I really am in love with Takashi. I don't know how long, but this is the worst possible timing, because I don't stand a chance.

I didn't sleep all night and I didn't go to work, pretending to be sick. I can't face Takashi like this, let alone the others. It's a good thing Aki isn't here, because just the thought makes me ashamed. She may not be able to stand me and wish me to turn up, but I'm not her. I'm ashamed to feel this way about a friend's fiancé and kiss him to boot. But I don't regret doing it. I really am a horrible person! I just left Takashi after what I said.

I have no idea what I should say to him after that. I mean, I couldn't deny it anymore, but I'd never ask him to leave Aki. I can't stand between two people who love each other. But I feel like I can't clear things up until I talk to Takashi, and that'll be painful. I'm not going to hurt him now, I'm going to hurt myself, because I don't want to reject him again, but I can't give him a home here. We live too different lives and I doubt I can make Takashi happy at the moment.

With so many thoughts in my head, I couldn't sleep, so I left for Takashi's at 2am and just hoped that Aki wasn't home yet.

I stood in front of the door for a few minutes because I was afraid of what would happen if I rang the doorbell. I finally did with great difficulty, but my adrenaline was pumping.

"Y/n? Everything okay?" Takashi asked as soon as he saw me on the other side of the door.

"Can I come in?" I asked, trying to see if Aki was there or not.

"Come in, I'm alone." he said as if he knew what I was thinking.

I sat down on the couch and as my adrenaline levels dropped so did my courage, so we just sat in silence for a while.

"Takashi I'm sorry." I suddenly stated and wanted to continue but no words came out.

"You don't have to be sorry. You didn't do anything that should make you feel that way." Takashi said kindly.

"Of course not! You have a fiancée! Who is a friend of mine!' Besides, I said something that didn't mean anything!" I blurted out.

"Why shouldn't it matter? It meant a lot to me, Y/n." Takashi said, and as much as those words make me feel good, they don't ease my guilt.

"No! It can't mean much to you or me because you have a fiancée! Takashi it was in vain what we did and what I said. Forget it." I said and wanted to end it all, but Takashi didn't think so when he stopped me.

"Forget it? Y/n do you know how much that one kiss and three word meant to me? I don't know how long I've been waiting for this and you're asking me to forget it?" Takashi snapped and now he was the first time to yell at me.

"We're not teenagers anymore who can just do that. You're about to start your future with Aki, and I'm leaving! Do you think such a flare-up is worth anything?" I asked angrily.

"A flare-up? Is that all it would be to you? Y/n you mean everything to me! I've waited all my life for you and for you to love me back! I would give up anything for you!" he looked me in the eyes and I saw that everything he said was true. "I don't love Aki I never did, if I have to this minute I'll break the engagement."

"I can't do that Takashi. I'm sorry." I turned my back on him and left.

"I love you Y/n!" he said before I walked out the door. Don't do it Takashi, please don't.

I made it all the way to the elevator, but there I broke out in a crying fit. I love Takashi, maybe I always have, but I couldn't make him happy. His home is here, and mine doesn't exist. I couldn't give him the home he deserves. And the guilt won't let me rest. I've never felt such pain in my life. I don't want to leave Takashi, but I must do it now rather than do more harm than I can, because I'm only here temporarily. I've already done more than I should have.

Tomorrow is the show and everything is ready. I am excited to be on the runway in Takashi's clothes, they are all amazing.

I got the job in Italy which I am incredibly grateful for and I can't believe I am realizing my childhood dream of living and modeling there. Hakkai and Yuzuha were happy with me when I told them. Takashi was also happy for me, but I could see that he couldn't be as happy as Hakkai, for example, and it made me sad, although what did I expect. And Aki didn't even congratulate me, but I wasn't surprised or moved, because she had treated me so badly in the last few weeks that I didn't even recognize her. And I learned many things about her from Yuzuha that gave me a clear picture of her. Now I understand why people don't like Aki and tolerate her just because of Takashi. But I don't know why Takashi tolerates her if he doesn't like her.

Aki hates me and doesn't deserve Takashi, I'm jealous of her, but I still let her through because she can give Takashi what he deserves more, which is a home. I don't have a home, not even to give to someone else.

With Takashi I tried to behave the same way as before, but it was difficult, especially during the dress rehearsals. He, on the other hand, was a bit ignorant that we almost didn't speak since then, which must have been noticed by everyone, but no one said a word.

"Y/n-chan what time does your flight leave tomorrow?" asked Hakkai as we took a break.

"Eight o'clock at night. So I'll run straight to the airport from here." I outlined my plans for tomorrow night.

"Can't you stay another day?" asked Hakkai sadly.

"I'm afraid not. I've got a meeting the next day that I can barely make because of the time difference." I replied.

"But Taka-chan will be sad too ami-" Hakkai would have said if Yuzuha hadn't nudged her shoulder again. "I mean we'll all be sad." Oh, how sad I'm going to be.

"We'll keep in touch for now. And I'll come home when I can." I smiled at them. "Maybe-" I would have said, but I heard Akit yelling and we started eavesdropping.

"I'm sick of you thinking about Y/n all the time! Listen to me for a second, I'm your fiancée!" I heard Aki's voice who was arguing a lot with Takashi. Hakkai and Yuzuha looked at each other, but neither of us understood exactly what was happening.

"Should I stop? Me stop it Taka? Is your dear Y/n sitting outside and not listening to what we are discussing? Because what if she does? What if she finds out that you still love her the same after all these years? Nothing will happen, because she doesn't love you, she never did. You can tell her your feelings again, but it will go away like it did seven years ago!" continued Aki. Oh, Aki is a bit wrong, but it's positive that she doesn't suspect anything.

"Aki! Really stop this now! Why are you bringing this up now? How did Y/n even come up?" Takashi also raised his voice.

"Of course, you don't want to talk about it now! Maybe you forgot that I was with you when she broke your heart! And who knows what Y/n was doing in America until then. Or rather with whom-" Aki would have continued my insult, but Takashi wouldn't let him.

"You can't talk about Y/n like that! She has never done anything to give you the right to talk about her like that!" said Takashi in a serious tone and I was happy that he defended me like that.

"She never did anything? She took everything from me! She became an international model which was my dream! Our friends are the same and she didn't show up for seven years, but she shows up now and they're more with her than with me! And besides, all you did was take one look at her and you're addicted to her again! Yet she did nothing. Of course, she's the innocent little Y/n." Aki said more and more aggressively. I can't help being better than her.

"I can't help it that she's lovable unlike you!" said Takashi as Aki's words trailed off.

"Tomorrow she's leaving again, leave you here without thinking. And then order will be restored here, so let's forget this conversation." Aki said, still angry. I really can only do harm.

"Fine, let's forget it. But I'm going to hold you for good. Here, be happy." Takashi said and if the others thought it right he gave the ring back to Aki. We didn't hear anything else, we only saw Aki crying as she stormed off. Takashi is single now, no one to hurt. But after the way I hurt Takashi, I have no right to say anything. And Aki is right that they are staying and I am leaving.

"We finally got rid of that girl!" said Yuzuha happily.

"Taka-chan! You've done well!" said Hakkai happily.

"You guys aren't sorry? She's your friend." I asked, not that I was that sorry, but still she was one of the reasons why I hurt Takashi.

"No. She's been trying to act like you for years, but she's been really bad and annoying." Yuzuha reasoned, to which I nodded in agreement.

"However, it's one less model. We won't find one until tomorrow." Takashi reminded us.

"I'll take Aki's part too." I offered.

"That won't work. You won't have enough time." Takashi said right away.

"Come on. Do you think they only invited me to America to model because I'm beautiful?" asked I smiling as they thought about it and realised I was right.

Takashi adjusted the clothes for me and we were fully ready for tomorrow night.

"Takashi.. thank you for not letting Aki insult me." I smiled at the boy.

"You have nothing to thank me for. You know I still love you, so I would never let anyone hurt you." He replied with a smile. I don't want to leave Takashi, I don't want to live without him again.

I'm incredibly excited for tonight. This whole charity night was Takashi's idea and it was his idea for me to be here, so it should be a good night.

"Y/n-chan! Are you listening?" asked Hakkai when he noticed I wasn't paying attention.

"No, I was watching Takashi." I said honestly.

"You've been thinking about him all day, pay some attention to me." Hakkai tried, but he couldn't. I couldn't take my eyes off Takashi who was wearing a suit. It was just a beautiful sight.

I tried my best not to think about Takashi on the runway and it was difficult but I succeeded. I concentrated hard not to mess anything up and I did it. Although I'm really not a professional model who is moving to Italy for nothing.

I'm moving to Italy… Then I won't get to see Takashi every day. But I can't stand that, I need my daily Takashi. I won't be able to hear his voice or smell his scent. But I can't, because I'll be happy. What should I do now? I can't cancel my trip, it's my dream. But I can't leave Takashi, because I don't want to. Damn it, I just realized how much I love him.

After Takashi thanked everyone for coming, I hurried to change. I asked Hakkai, Yuzuha and Takashi to walk me to the airport, because I thought it would give me more time to think about what I should do.

"Call me when you can." Hakkai said, touched.

"Don't forget us." Yuzuha hugged me.

"Make your dream come true Y/n." Takashi smiled kindly at me.

"Wait a minute! I can't do this." I said in total panic. All three of them looked at me confused, not understanding what was wrong with me.

"Takashi I love you! I'm sorry for all the words I said to you. Maybe I really can't make you happy, but let me try. So come with me!" I said, looking him straight in the eye. Takashi looked at me in complete surprise, he was getting more and more confused.

"Remember when you asked me what I would have done if I had returned your feelings seven years ago? I would have stayed. But now I'm asking you to come with me and live my dream with me. It may be a selfish request, but please Takashi," I said with all my thoughts.

"Is that really what you want Y/n?" asked Takashi doubting me.

"I want this more than anything! Because I love you Takashi!" I said happily.

"Fine. I'll go with you."

[fryday]

RE: Phil being quiet and Dan making the innuendos and winks, I actually think the opposite.

Phil said in his coming out video that he had been out and comfortable with himself for years and would have preferred to do a short video just talking from inside an actual closet lol

My interpretation is that he would have been ready and comfortable to be out as a couple this whole time but since Dan wasn't (isn't?), he deferred to Dan's comfort level. He let's Dan make the jokes because he gets to set the boundary.

I think the comment about doors was like, an agreed upon message. Almost like a press release statement lol I think they talked about it and decided that was the messaging. Especially since they referred to it in the mukbang 2 video.

Anyway that's just my interpretation. Hope that makes sense. I love scrolling through your theories! I'm the same age as Dan and I've been a phan since 2010 so it's nice to see the phantom come back more mature and kind that it was before.

(x) sorry for taking so long to respond to this! i think that is a really good interpretation of it, yes! one which i hadn't thought about at all

a counter-proposal re: how phil would've been happy with them being out as a couple long before, would be that phil is generally quite a private person and the stuff he shares with us on amazingphil, when he's acting purely on his own instinct and isn't interacting with/playing off of dan, is anecdotal but not necessarily revealing about himself as a person or his life. and i feel like he's quite professional in that way, that he shares what's pertinent to him doing his job well ie comedic stories, but doesn't go beyond that.

we also know that for the longest time he didn't actually feel the need to talk about his sexuality online at all because, as you said, he had already been out to some people in his life for a while by then and (a) thought that he was happy the way things were and (b) didn't really think it was a big thing that needed to be addressed on his public platform. but we know from COTY that part of why he was making it was so it could help people who might need it, and we know from his opinions in hindsight that actually coming out online DID make a difference in how free he felt after all. but perhaps, his relationship with dan was not something that could HELP people in any obvious way, and at that point it might have seemed irrelevant to him anyway from a freedom of expression standpoint because dan was hardly online/was hardly going to be online with him anyway. so he might not have felt the need even then to be transparent about them as a couple.

tl;dr - to me, phil comes across as a generally private person even if we're not talking about his relationship with dan, so he MIGHT not have found it relevant for them to be out as a couple before anyway.

but that's all speculation to do with the past! as things are now, if they actually have agreed to hard launch and are leading up to it, i totally see your POV and am inclined to agree with it! it seems to fit with what we know of them as people and as a pair, that phil would allow dan to set and push the limit as he's comfortable with it, because phil is the one who would be more chill/indifferent about it/what they share about it either way.

that was all just me thinking out loud though!! i don't have the answers, obviously, and i haven't kept up with dnp as closely in recent years as a lot of others around here have, so i'm def open to hearing other opinions :)

(also thank you! i love talking to people about their theories too. it's always v insightful and interesting! and i agree that the golden era of dnp and the phandom is now; overall i feel like there's a lot more to learn and gain from the experience of being here now vs before!)

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

One of the worst misreads (deliberate or not) that I've seen from Zutara fans is in Crossroads of Destiny where Aang and Katara hug after being reunited, and Aang glares at Zuko over Katara's shoulder. They legitimately claim that Aang's glare is one of jealousy, when it stems from protectiveness. Katara was left alone with the same person who's spent the majority of their journey trying to capture or kill him and his team. To say nothing of the fact that he's already kidnapped Katara before. Aang's expression is "You better not have touched a single hair on my waterbender's head or I'll blast you through a wall before you can even blink."

Aang: *has a vision of Katara being captured by the Dai Li, goes to rescue her, and discovers she's been kept in the same 'cell' as a guy that is supporting the war and genocide and that has been chasing them around the world for months*

Aang: *glares at this dude while hugging Katara*

Zutarians: God, such a jealous, possessive, misogynistic boy! If he's that bad at just 12-years-old, imagine what he'll be like as an adult! Zuko would never act like that, even though he canonically accused Mai of liking someone else right after she said was indifferent to the guy he was paranoid about.

Aang: *offers to take Katara to the North Pole so she can learn waterbending, cheers her on when she's fighting an actual misogynist, calls her sifu to show his respect, says she gives him hope, helps her blow up a factory and says she's a hero for wanting to save a village*

Zutarians: I pretend I do not see.

Zuko: I'll help murder someone in the hopes that you make you not hate me anymore after I got your best friend killed and sent an assassin after your group. Also I'll sometimes serve tea to the group because we're all friends now and I'm trying to be less of a dick.

Zutarians: MALE HOUSEWIFE, LITERALLY INVENTED FEMINISM!

Aang: *admits he is upset enough that he'd probably be in the Avatar state by that point if he hadn't blocked his chakra and talks about it with Katara in an attempt to process his emotions and so they are on the same page on their friendship/potential romance/relationship*

Zutarians: Immature, possessive crybaby that results to violence whenever he's upset! Disgraceful! Have you never heard of healthy communication?!

Zuko: *throws a guy over a table for making moves on his girlfriend, constantly lashes out at people whenever he's upset, will fist-fight anyone if given the chance, literally went up a mountain to scream at God to fucking murder him, and blasts fire at his friends when unhappy with how chill they are despite the war going on because he grew up with an abuser that completely fucked up his understanding of how and when he can or cannot express himself*

Zutarians: Awkward turtleduck, would never hurt a fly, can totally be soothed by a hug from the right person if he's upset. Totally won't snap at said right person if they try it before he breaks something - even if that something is his own bones.

Aang: *completely misreads the moment, kisses Katara, realizes he fucked up, feels bad for it and leaves her alone*

Zutarians: RAAAAAPIIIISSST!

Also Zutarians: Anyways, I started shipping this pairing when Zuko tied Katara to a tree because it inspired lots of fanfics of him forcing himself on her.

[siberian-khatru]

HOLY SHIT I'M ALREADY UP TO POWER WINDOWS!!!!

Which is their 11th studio album, meaning I am really halfway there (and yes, living on a prayer). In his memoir, Geddy said this was in his top five Rush albums, and, well, he would be the expert, no? So, without further ado, here are my Thoughts on this synth-era classic: 1. "The Big Money"- This album was one of the more recent additions to my collection, and I remember listening to it the first time on a cold January evening, I think I had just turned 16, and being absolutely blown away by this opening. By the synths, by the bass line, by the sound of it. Of how clear and sharp the whole album sounded, and I couldn't believe that Rush had done it again: made another album that I loved. Power Windows is also one of my favorite Rush albums, and this opener completely sucked me in. It also establishes the themes of power present throughout the album: that "big money" wields so much power. 2. "Grand Designs"- This is one of my favorite songs on this album (hint: I could say that about any song on this album). I love how the synths sound, I love the accentuation of Alex's guitar, and I love the lyrics!!! The whole vibe of the song, to me, is about personal power, and it has just such a clear, optimistic vibe. 3. "The Manhattan Project"- Who doesn't love a song that Neil read an encyclopedia about the Manhattan Project to write? It's about the creation of the atom bomb and the impact it had, so obviously it's about the power of imperialism and it's about nuclear power. I love the way the breakdown is used in this song, and I love the climax when when Geddy sings "flying out of the shockwave".

4. "Marathon"- Okay, I may have lied about Grand Designs being my favorite song on this album, because I also love this one wayyy too much. The frantic baseline, the steady beat of the drums, and the modulation during the last chorus--- it really feels like you achieved something by the end of the song. This is song is just so... uplifting to me. I love it so much (did I say that already?). 5. "Territories"- This song is about nationalism and it's dangers--- which is another sort of power. The power on a national scale. Honestly, Neil's drumming on this track (and his lyrics) are absolutely spectacular, and I wish I saw this song mentioned more often when talking about his best tracks. I also love how the second verse also touches on how propaganda is really the machine that keeps this cycle going--- and I love the word play of "In different circles we keep holding our ground/ Indifferent circles we keep spinning round and round". That is just so clever. 6. "Middletown Dreams"- As I'm going through more and more of these songs, I'm noticing that the album is really split between personal and societal power and the impact it has. For example, this song is really about taking the power of your dreams and passions in your own hands, and pursuing what you love. I once watched/listened to an interview with Neil Peart, and he mentioned this song specifically as one that fans misinterpret as being cynical, when he never intended it to be cynical. I just found that really interesting. Another thing I'm noticing as I'm listening to this album is how fresh the synths sound to me--- the album doesn't sound dated at all to me (maybe because I listen to so much prog it's rotted my brain?). 7. "Emotion Detector"- Ahhh a song about the power of emotions, and the trouble of reading the emotions of others. The song also talks about the balance between being cut off and being too open with others which is a common theme in Rush's music and totally doesn't make me think Neil was neurodivergent of some kind haha anyway. This song is really about human relationships, and the way we communicate with each other, and some of the lines in this song are so good. And Alex's guitar solo is phenomenal. As usual. 8. "Mystic Rhythms" - This is about the power that nature has over us and our sense--- it's a song about the mysteries of the unknown, and it's soooo cool. My only gripe with this song is that it fades out at the end, and it's the closing track. Although, in this case, I could be persuaded to believe that it adds to the mystery of the track, and may have been intentional.

[skyrim-forever]

All works of art you create matter. Please don't give up writing what you like simply because people don't interact with it. I know those are just words, but please, believe me when I say this; a lot of people do still appreciate your work. But a lot of people are silent fans. And that's okay! There can be a multitude of reason why. Maybe they like your works but are embarrassed to admit it/comment. I've had multiple people share to me that they are embarrassed of liking works they like sometimes. But don't let that discourage you. While they might be silent - they're still very much fans that are there. Anyways, I wrote an entire poem for something that could've been a single sentence once again. But please don't feel discouraged from writing things you like simply because people don't seem to like it!!!

And, to anyone else who reads this. Please, interact with the works of smaller authors. You're going to both brighten their day, and you can feel like you've done something good.

Thank you so much for this <3 I'm glad you wrote a lot because frankly I needed to hear this. I think I have an issue where I interpret silence as negative or indifference; I assume if you don't say anything you either didn't like or it didn't stand out in any way. And that's not true! Like you've said they're lots of reasons why someone may not want to interact, and that shouldn't be taken as they don't care. I don't get a lot of comments by I've never gotten a hate comment! So a lack of comments could be a blessing in disguise.

But I would like to reiterate that interacting with fanworks really makes artists/writers feel seen. I go back and reread comments and tags all the time. It's something that can help make me feel better on rough days.

I also leave all my works open for guest commenting, I get if you don't want some of the stuff I write to be connected to you in any way, totally understand! You can also DM people on tumblr and tell them privately, I've had this happen too. Feels just as awesome.

It's okay if you don;t want to interact but if you find something or someone you really like, consider it!

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 7

very notable that this was within the context of being about "love" specifically. (at least) one-sided trevek canon? (i'm not even a huge trevek shipper i just think this whole plotline is funny)

okay, so Yul's foot injury IS real. or at least, he's using it as an excuse to complain. still, the fact that it was brought up again an episode later makes me think that it's going to have SOME relevance to the plot.

any time that Yul has to parrot something in Emily's "you go girlfriend ;D" manner of speaking i cackle. he didn't choose the home decor saying any time is wine time lifestyle, the home decor saying any time is wine time lifestyle chose him.

Grett i am... genuinely confused. how can you possibly think that Yul is actually in love with you? did you really receive THAT little love in your home life? you have no ability to distinguish catty and fake praise for your accomplishments from real ones because your family gave you THAT little recognition? man. now i made myself sad :( ily Grett

okay, confirming that 1) it was Tom's trap, 2) they are willing to eat squirrels, 3) Tom is serving as the provider for the Cyan tribe. all things to take into account for any upcoming Cyan eliminations.

why

and how does said boyfriend feel about you kissing another man on television, Tom? this is a stupid lie.

again, why? it's probably already apparent from my earlier comments, but i changed my mind; i'm fully with Jake in this argument now. sure, Jake is really insecure and overly emotional, but what the HELL is Tom doing? making up a boyfriend is a really shitty thing to do, whether Tom had a legit reason for not calling Jake these past two years or if he didn't contact Jake due to his own mixed feelings/indifference. in either case, he should have told Jake the truth. at least when Jake was acting immature in S1, he was 24. Tom is a nearly 30 year old man. ACT LIKE IT.

Fiore slay

this is a really interesting response due to how vague it is, including in the vocal performance. was he taken off guard by his boss being nice to him? does he believe that she's telling the truth? does he feel bad for Trevor, or will he come to believe that he IS way better than Trevor? i'm glad that they're continuing on with the concept of the hosts having a plotline, because imo that was one of the highlights of S2, but they aren't doing it in a way that eats up as much of the screentime as it did in S2.

if Will was out of the picture i would be shipping these two so hard. who am I kidding, i kind of still am anyways.

Ally's other gf is here :,) glad that they got to reconnect (and neither of them were eliminated for it)

Fiore slay

the confirmation that Aiden thinks that the idea of him having any attraction to Tom is laughable and disgusting is HILARIOUS to me. bro really said, "why the hell would i be into YOU when i have JAMES lmao" straight to Tom's face. tbf, James and Tom are like... opposites in terms of personality and appearance (beyond being generally handsome and athletic young men).

"silly me, i keep forgetting that not everyone met their super cool and attractive boyfriend on reality TV. my bad!" (/pos)

(i tried to type "hubby" instead of boyfriend but i spared you all. it was too cringe even as the one subjecting others to the cringe.)

okay this was very fitting for her. iconic.

honestly, Alec and Riya's villainous alliance/friendship is really fun. leave it to Alec to always find himself in the least likely but most entertaining duos. Riya really benefits from being paired with a legitimate strategist, and someone who won't just let her totally get away with stuff.

we had to get in one last Fiore taking unnecessary damage for the road :,(

feeling like Jaiden is going to be winning the starting couples' survival roulette. and Wishley, to the extent they count.

now i'm no physicist, but how did this work? shouldn't the ball be a fast and heavy enough object at this point that it would jump over the log, not ricochet off of it? i suppose if the ball is made of something more like wicker than yarn, it could be a bit more likely to do that. but then why is it going to the side? it hit the log straight on!

... are you not allowed to help him anymore? what?

ellie is going full villain mode fr. if her and gabby's relationship gets messed up, that would definitely be karma. but, i suppose she survives this episode...

this is funny because nobody strikes me as the pizza and soda loving type. Alec, Grett, Yul, and Riya all seem like people who would want to eat something that's both fancier and healthier.

communication W (for both of them)

Fiore is such a best girl that she's not even a salty juror. she's not mad at them for so long that she can't use her final moments to throw a wrench in the works for everyone else. the grind never sleeps, clowns <3

and she even conquered her greatest nemesis, the bus, this time. fly high, queen. i'll miss you.

well, as a Fiore stan, this episode was a bit sad for me. but, i do totally understand why Magenta would both vote for Fiore and lose the challenge. (damn you, Ellie...) Fiore already did super well in both S1 and the original Adventure Camp, so i understand why they wouldn't have her go super far again in this season, especially when everyone knows she's such a threat.

i just hope that we can still get a little more closure for her and Alec than we got already in this season. all it has to be is, like, him being sad at her elimination for reasons other than pure strategy and maybe a nice conversation at the finale. it doesn't have to be Alec finally adopting her... even if i did want that to happen... i'd just prefer to know that they leave things on good terms.

anyways, another really solid episode! i look forward to the next one. thanks for reading!

[techramonic]

you wanted to do investigative journalism for a while, right? How’d you get into that?

Yes anon, thanks for asking! This is going to be a bit long haha, but I enjoy this question a lot.

I've always been interested in journalism. In 4th grade, I had already been joining competitions for news writing and broadcasting. That's when I started seeing patterns with the consistency of crimes being on the headlines. Of course, it didn't matter so much to me at the time. Overtime, I started being more curious about the news and watching shows and documentaries about scene of the crime opperatives. I inherited my curiousity from my dad, whk consistently kept up with the news either on telivision or newspaper.

Those that get reported almost always include violence. Murder, war, human rights violations. What impacted me was that I began to notice the detachment of peers around my age to the matter. You know, the “Who cares? It's cool to own a gun anyway.” mindset that the media embedded. As if violence is a virtue. I didn't want to be indifferent or supportive of that idea. I was totally against it. To them, crime is a normal everyday occurence, to me, it's a societal epidemic that needed to change.

I've tried out academic debates and while I was good and even won a medal for my speech about pro-vaccination in 10th grade, it wasn't for me. By junior year, I was more involved in campus activism and journalism. I am currently joining the news writing for my high school and last year I was the head editor of our humanities and arts writing journal. In competitions I have joined like writing, slam poetry, and art, I've voiced out about agricultural disparities, recognition and protection of cultural minorities and LGBTQ+, anti-war, anti-political apathy, etc. I've won several of them and at the same time, I also jumped back into researching true crime. I shifted from serial killing to mass murder because I saw that media is more prevalent with the influence on mass murderers. With this, I thought I could at least provide readers a more in-depth prespective on what contributes to such phenomena occuring.

Plus, I've also been a big fan of Sociology. It became a cornerstone for me to focus on the complex aspects of human behaviour and how society shapes us. I figured that with it, I could learn more on the sociological imagination behind crime, specifically how criminals have the tendencies to be very drawn to violence, and how this is primarily due to how our society and the media plays a crucial role in subconsciously provoking and enforcing the mindset of romanticisation. People always blame the media all the time, but we're forgetting that the media is what society wants us to see. It's the manifestations of the reality we live.

The kill count on journalists are high, especially with politics involved. Guess you can call me kick buttowski for being a daredevil. My family and friends have always been worried, even my dad. However, they know that it's my ambitions and as long as I stay safe, they'll be happy. I'm well aware that I might get a bullet through the head in a field like this and I have to process paper after paper about the gruesome realities of life, but if that's what will help the people, then so be it. Some people have said that I'm "empathetic" or "big-hearted" for being so courageous and wanting to pursue a career that isn't necessarily stable and in actuality, dangerous, but in truth, I'm as normal as anyone else. Everyone can be help people. The only thing is I don't want to do it for the thrill or just for fame, I really want to help people and make a change on our society, even if I have to build it brick by brick and the process is excruciatingly slow.

I think dying for that would be a good cause, and truthfully speaking, I am not hoping to die anytime soon because I want to help people out, you know, collectively. I want to be able to better understand the patterns behind the perpetuation of crime and also help others be aware and understand instead of being indifferent or supportive of crime. I want to be able to contribute to the public discourse on justice and accountability. I aim to not only inform the public but also to provoke critical thinking and inspire action in advocating for societal change.

[shallowseeker]

Rowena & Crowley back the wrong horse, over and over and over...

Everyone remembers Rowena's tragic clinging to Lucifer in season 11, and how it ended up for her. Upon learning she's the only one that can put him back in the cage, Lucifer pragmatically snaps her neck--a form of cold, indifferent insurance:

Ah, the tragedy of Rowena's desire to have security. Rowena wanted to be loved and protected by Fergus's father. She wanted to be appreciated and protected by Lucifer.

Crowley remarks that she's always looking for the biggest, baddest beast in the room to hide behind.

///

In 11x23 Alpha and Omega, we see Rowena cozying up to her newest target, Chuck:

ROWENA: [Crowley mocks her as she speaks] Charles, I'll put the kettle on. My mom always said, there's nothing a nice wee cup of tea can't fix.

...

CROWLEY: It's what she does. Find someone with power...cozies up...digs the claws in. [As he’s talking, Crowley walks over to a cabinet, opens a door and takes out a bottle of Craig] CHUCK: Hmm. Yeah, well, I'm not helping anyone right now, obviously. She's been...nice. CROWLEY: For now.

Funny sidenote: As Rowena moves in on Chuck, getting sweet on him, she starts calling him "Charles," a little nugget for how she'll later call Sam "Samuel," and Cas, "Hello, Castiel."

///

Ahem. Anyway. The thing is, that yes, Rowena totally does this. We can't really blame her when we look at the tragic happenstances of her life. During the course of the series, we see her make numerous moves to gain favor will powerful beings:

SEASON 10

We see her volleying to make Crowley sit upon a stronger, more secure throne.

SEASON 11

We see her cozying up to Lucifer and getting killed for her trouble.

Next, we see her coming back from the dead to move in on Amara.

She's kind of playing both sides, but she gets sweet on Amara here: "Oh, I can be useful...And even if it is born out of my own self-interest, I-- I care about you. I'm someone you can talk with. Confide in. Have you... have you ever had that? Oh, you don't have to be (alone), darlin'!" 

Then, as I mentioned above, she cozies up to Chuck, and Crowley snarls many a nasty word about her.

SEASON 12

We find Rowena trying to date rich men and lying about her background, painting herself as a posh, well-to-do ballerina.

In an abrupt about-face to insulting Cas (she called him a fish in season 10), we see that Rowena has flipped on her appraisal of him.

Now, Castiel is super hot. He's "the handsome, strong angel," an ideal partner/protector. So, she hits on him. A lot.

Despite her memory of "Cas's face" as Lucifer snapped her neck, her dogged attraction to Cas blooms sometime in season 12.

Perhaps, it's when she and Cas and Fergus are hunting Lucifer together.

(In the same time frame, Crowley is also hanging off Cas's arm, keeping him company, trying to be oddly "cutesy," singing in the car, etc. It's...hilarious. You get the mental picture of them both trying their hardest to get his attention.)

SEASON 13

Season 13 brings us her library tryst with Gabriel.

She says she's motivated by trying to heal his wounded virility/grace/pride, but it's at least partially about his status as an archangel.

And of course, there's security in Sam(uel), but it's all twisted up with him being her executioner, not just her protector.

But in being her "destiny," he also functions as her security. It's very complex. (And kinda sexy.)

SEASON 14

Rowena will hit on Cas as later as season 14's Ouroboros, saying his full name in a similar coo to how she says, "Charles and Samuel." -> "Hello, Castiel."

Castiel, for his part, tends to be a little flustered by her, straightening up and saying, "Hello," back.

SEASON 15

Finally, in season 15, somewhat hilariously, Rowena moves in on Arthur Ketch.

But it's a little different this time, reflecting a more confident, in-control, and emotionally integrated Rowena.

She seems to be genuinely interested in him for his wry, science-loving personality. They banter.

She and Ketch mutually harass Dean for details about the other, like schoolyard crushes.

They had a battle connection in the past, have fought together and helped one another re: resurrection spells, but it is only now that they’re healthy and healed that they can actually see each other.

Rowena throws Dean a breathless, thankful look when he saves Ketch (for her).

She’s reformed, Ketch is reformed. It’s heartbreaking just how excited she is about him. He instills a her hope in her, for the future. (But he won’t sell out his friends. He dies. She won’t let the world die, so she dies, too.)

///

But Crowley does the same friggin' thing, doesn't he? He is so her child, a tragic mini-Rowena, despite his efforts to look like a big, bad Hell-king. 💔

SEASON 5

When we meet him, we see him backing the Winchesters re:the Colt.

In his early appearance, he does this because he thinks Lucifer is going to wipe out demon-kind.

That gamble goes okay for Crowley, mostly.

SEASON 6

Sometime in this timeframe, he is given the role of Hell-king as a consolation prize, by Ramiel, prince of Hell, who honestly doesn't give a fuck.

In season 6, Crowley backs Castiel. Cas's got magnetism and sex appeal.

As the original "angel's angel" in Heaven, he's a strong frontrunner in Heaven's Civil War simply by popularity alone. So, Cas is the horse Crowley decides to bet on.

Then, Cas turns out to be duplicitous, cunning, and too devoted to his human family to be controlled. He’s way more than Crowley can handle.

There are glimmers of this power imbalance, when Cas on occasion has had enough of Crowley's innuendo-laden threats, like when Cas snaps and crushes him into a wall, for example. But on the whole, Crowley ignores this. It's his tragic hubris.

Eventually, Cas overwhelms him and seizes power, and the whole thing turns out to be a frightening blow to his position.

So, Crowley goes running to the brother Raphael, which is another bad gamble. Castiel straight-up kills him, and Crowley is forced to flee and go into hiding.

SEASON 7-8

In seasons 7-8, Crowley vies for control of the prophet Kevin, torturing and killing those around him.

He makes sure to kill Meg, who is in his mind a Lucifer loyalist (she's actually a Castiel loyalist at this point, but the Lucifer label sticks).

SEASON 9

In season 9, Crowley manipulates a series of events to allow him to dangle Dean to Cain in a bid to transform Dean and destroy Abbadon, the newest threat to his position.

(Crowley won't suggest taking the mark on his own; he won't risk his own neck.) Afterwards, he scoops “demon” roofied Dean up, like spoils of war, a dark parallel to the pimp-demon in Girls, Girls, Girls (and Randy).

SEASON 10

In season 10, this bites him in the ass, too.

Demon Dean proves too much to handle, a liability on the job, as he refuses to perform the cold, capitalistic mercenary duties of Hell.

"The little prat’s bad for business. He’s uncontrollable. Must be the Mark."

In a scene similar to Cas crunching Crowley into a wall, Dean too throws Crowley down. Demon Dean will not be cowed by Crowley, and he will not be a sidekick, little bitch, or Queen to be "controlled."

So, Crowley goes running to the brother, Sam. He “sells him out" to Sam.

And then Crowley goes running to revive Castiel again, to deal Dean. Dean is now a problem (the problem-that-solved-his-original-Abbadon-problem).

And around and around Crowley goes.

Despite everything, Crowley softens to Dean. Crowley's a little bit human now, and it shows. As he softens, his mother appears, making things much more complicated.

SEASON 11

Crowley tries to muster up the glory of his former evil self--he kills a bunch of poly/queer swingers for no real reason.

Then, Crowley sees a new opportunity to sway a powerful being, and we get Crowley unsuccessfully trying to mold Amara as his newest weapon of mass destruction.

Like with Demon Dean, he strikes fast to scoop her up when she's “vulnerable” and "new,” to get her under his sphere of influence.

Then, it goes badly, as this always does for Crowley. Amara breaks “Uncle Crowley's”arm and runs away.

In this season, Crowley goes to bat for Cas again, trying to detach him from Lucifer and screeching angrily at Cas as Lucifer beats Crowley up.

In fact, in that brief moment before Crowley even goes to bat, he's actually smiling at Dean and Cas as they reunite, as Dean says, “Cas, we don't have a whole lot of time, okay?"

Crowley is a softie. Cas is his kinda-friend, and Crowley wants Dean to be happy. Crowley's changed.

At the end of the season, we briefly see Crowley complaining about Rowena cozying up to Chuck, while he moves to cozy up to Billie. (Really, Crowley? Stop doing the thing that gets you burned, man.)

SEASON 12

Enter season 12, and Crowley works with his mom again. He and Rowena form an uneasy alliance, and both begin to see family in a slightly new light.

They trust each other a little more, and they hurt each other to try and solve their mutual pain re: Oskar and Gavin.

Hilariously, they both start seeing Castiel in a fresh light this season. It's like, in watching his devotion and chivalry to his family, and as their understanding of family shifts, they've mutually decided that he's dependable and thus desireable. (The "blue-collar, family-oriented soldier.")

So yeah, season 12 finds Crowley cozying up to Castiel again in order to lock away Lucfier--with Crowley being overly friendly and flirty and sing-songy to the point that Cas just might bash his own head in.

(In this same timeframe, Rowena warms to Cas, so you have this implication that they're both hanging off his arms adoringly, and he is tired as fuck of dealing with them. I'm sure Cas's tendency to get a little flustered and sweet with Rowena is something that would drive Crowley insane on multiple levels.)

Crowley even risks his life for Cas against Vince!Lucifer. (He wants Cas to be his friend so badly in this era, oof.)

Then, he saves Cas against Ramiel, thanks in large part to his bond with Dean, and Dean thanks him for it.

Crowley, like Rowena, will take any form love. Any friendship. Any comradery. Even scraps. They've got the same neurosis.

Anyway, in season 12 we also have the team-up of the century, where Crowley works with Rowena to send Lucifer back to the cage. Victory!

And Crowley has another fatal misstep. His last one ever, perhaps. He thinks, yet again, that he can outsmart another overpowered beast in order to buy his own security.

And so, he locks Lucifer in Nick's body, Ma'lak box-like, and tries to out-bark and out-dominate him.

Horribly, Lucifer doesn't even appear that threatened or upset. Even when he's being humiliated, the demons under Crowley flock to Lucifer. (It's not fair!)

Lucifer seems quietly amused, like he's waiting for his moment to strike, just as Cas behaved in season 6, quietly tolerating Crowley's goading because he was not actually threatened by him.

(Crowley is no Azazel or Dagon or Ramiel or even Asmodeus.)

And it's fatal. It goes badly. Crowley's gleeful crowing of brains-versus-brawn blows up in his face.

He escapes by the skin of his teeth, and goes running, tail tucked, to tell the Winchesters what he's wrought.

Sam and Dean are horrified, realizing that Jack, Kelly, and Cas are in danger, and so they speed towards them in hopes of warning them in time.

Crowley seems a little hysterical and fatalistic, deciding to back the Winchesters one last time, because, "life is meaningless," and "what's the point of it all."

Crowley lost everything for a job he hated, so he commits suicide, because he's tired and worn down.

He has become like Raphael, "we just want it to be over."

Crowley falls to nihilism.

And Rowena despairs. 💔💔💔

/////////////////////////////////

(Text Attributions// Supernatural scripts here via @spnscripthunt. Transcripts are located here via SPNWiki. Visit their Tumblr to donate.)

[donnerpartyofone]

I'm trying to picture the logical outcome of that rhetoric going around about how we should all reblog people's art and fan content out of the goodness of our hearts--like just to satisfy everybody's cravings for attention, as opposed to reblogging if and when we actually like something enough to want it on our own blogs. I mean there's no other reason NOT to reblog something than that you just don't enjoy it enough, so the only reason to press people about reblogs is to override that basic lack of desire and pleasure. With that said:

Let's say person X is earnestly writing and recording really shitty music. You don't like it, but you feel duty-bound to make them happy by acting like you think it's good so you reblog it, all of it, every time. And let's also say your supposedly heroic urge to promote things you don't believe in, to make your blog represent stuff you don't actually care for just to create a feeling of artificial popularity for someone else, catches on, and we all start doing it. Now everyone is playing music they don't like, or are even indifferent to, and we're putting it on all of our blogs, like you're covering your room in posters for something totally uninspiring, that you're only involved with out of pity. And then one day we all find ourselves middle-aged and tired without that much money or energy to go around, and we're still dragging our asses to shows that start too late and go too late, trudging from the bar to the bathroom as the only way of breaking up the monotony of politely sticking it out until your friend goes on--who actually isn't even your friend, they're just some rando on social media who everyone collectively decided to boost out of the misguided notion that we are all owed zillions of notes and followers just because we want them, and now this person gets to go about their days imagining that they're deservedly famous and never learning things like, for instance, you should make art for your own personal satisfaction and not to get everyone else's approval, or that being loved by a few people who really understand you is better than being popular with masses of strangers, or that there are forms of success that aren't just doing numbers on some cretinous website.

One of the more important parts of the above is, person X is not your friend, they're just some guy. In real life, there is a good probability that you will sometimes have a friend who makes bad art or bad music or writes bad poetry etc, and you will feel obligated to go to their show/reading/etc and act supportive and come up with nice things to say until you're exhausted to the point of death. And you sacrifice your time and comfort like this because X is someone in your life who you care about, even if it doesn't feel completely honest to be this positive about everything they do, it's worth it because you're invested in how they feel (this is providing you don't have more of a tough love relationship, which is maybe ideal, but not everybody does so well with that, so ANYWAY). And if you're part of an actual community of artists, everybody winds up buying each other's zines and being the only people at each other's shows and basically just passing the same $10 bill around in a circle forever and man is THAT exhausting, but at least you all know the score, even if no one is saying it.

But what I'm saying is, this is the burden of relationships, the result of not being able to necessarily choose who you love. The most common type of relationship on Tumblr is between strangers; I will never know anything about the vast majority of people whose posts I see, even that I like. I will make some friends and acquaintances, but for the most part I'm here to have my own experience, to follow people because I like what they do, to interact with their stuff for no reason other than that I enjoy it. So for me, the Tumblr pitch is basically "Come to this site, people post all kinds of cool shit and you can amuse yourself for hours!" The pitch should not be "Come to this site where people will conspire to make a charity case out of you by making you think they like your stuff when they really don't," nor should it be "Come to this site where you have a moral obligation to help promote all kinds of random crap you might think is lame or boring, but you're forced to because you feel sorry for strangers who make bad art and you don't think they should have to learn that no one owes them a successful artistic career and popularity isn't everything!" I mean that is a nightmare. If you're lucky you'll have enough of that going on in your real life that you definitely won't want to join a website where you have to do it for people you don't even know. If you're extra lucky, you'll never have to do anything like this at all!

PS If half your likes and reblogs are inspired by charity and not informed by your actual taste, then your approval becomes totally meaningless and nobody should care what you have to say. Same goes for always agreeing with whoever is talking to you and always saying you're sorry even if no one asked for an apology. It's a way of being a liar. You turn your own word into mud.

[xelasrecords]

Lovely Walk

Harry Choi x Reader

Harry has rejected you for the most ludicrous reasons with the most ludicrous attitude. So what's there to do except to pester him by asking him out again and again?

Words: 1.5k

Masterlist Read on AO3

What do you do when you confess to a man who manages to turn his insufferable demeanour into his allure, who then hurts you with that same quality? Harry's rejection of your earnest confession was harsh. It was cutting words reinforced by his belief that love doesn't exist, as if what you feel is anything less than that. He does not want to date you, yet he expects you to remain with him as it is.

It doesn't mean Harry doesn't like you. You have concrete reasons to believe that he does. It's in the subtext of him texting you every day without fail, how he remembers details about you that you didn't think would be significant, and how he treats you better than everyone else. But it's unfair that he doesn't want to end this ambiguous relationship, especially when he has callously conveyed that he has no desire to be with you. Therefore, there is no reason you should be civil either.

The only sensible thing to do is to push back.

Amidst the faint floral scent permeating the air, you catch Harry on the pavement watching the cars passing by, his back turned from the cherry blossom trees lining the path. You increase your pace, ready to strike him with your new plan. You have not been well-rested and standing tall and attractive in an ivory sweatshirt in front of you is the thief of your sleep.

Harry turns to you before you can make any noise. "I thought you'd be too offended to talk to me so soon. How did you find me?"

You ignore his first remark. On this bright afternoon, the sun is deceptive with its glare. The breeze is cool on your cheeks and weaves through your hair. Not a bad day to ambush him. "Our beloved Piu-Piu told me. An emergency meeting as compensation for your rejection."

Harry cocks his head to the side. "How come it conspires with you more than me? It never grants me that privilege."

"You didn't even want to meet me," you point out. "You said that it's a waste of time."

Harry seems to be distracted by your billowing hair, his fingers twitching slightly before he buries them in his pockets. "I'm bothered by it favouring you over me."

"And that surprises you?" You arch your brows. "Anyway, I'm here because I want to ask you something. You said you don't like me, correct?"

Harry shifts on his feet. "I don't get why you're bringing this up again. As I've said, you intrigue me, but I don't want to date you. Let's leave it at that."

You shrug. "Okay, but do you want to go out with me?"

Harry stares at you, assessing if it's another joke you tend to make around him. "What's wrong with you?"

Being rejected never gets easier, but you won't let it deter you. Eventually, his defensive exterior will crack. You just have to keep marching on.

You take a step nearer, inclining your body towards him. Up close, you hear his breath hitched and see a guarded mask shuttered over his face, but he doesn't draw back from you. "If you're worried about me, then have dinner with me later."

"I have food at home and you're not invited."

You nod grimly. "I understand. A horseman should eat his carrots alone. It's a wonder you haven't turned orange, you carrot hogger."

To your surprise, Harry chuckles at your acknowledgement. It's a low, rich sound which sends a delicious tingle down your spine. "You told me to savour my food. That's what I'm planning to do." He starts walking down the pavement. "Alone," he adds.

Alarmed, you rush to his side, sticking close and ready to sling your arm around him if he decides to bolt. It wouldn't be out of character for Harry to pull an outrageous stunt. But instead, you notice him slowing down his strides, arm briefly tensing whenever it brushes against yours. It may be a small reaction, but a small win is still a win.

Harry is not totally indifferent towards you.

"So I've rubbed off on you. Does that mean you hate yourself?" you ask.

Harry frowns. "What?"

"You don't like me, but I've become a part of you. I've influenced your decision and now you live according to my suggestion. That must mean you hate yourself."

"I didn't know a human could spew out as much nonsense as that bird," Harry grumbles. "Are you doing this because I rejected you?"

Harry may be handsome, but every time he opens his mouth, it has the unfortunate effect of making you want to deck him and then kiss him with spite. It's probably too early for the latter. If a mere confession has driven up his walls, you don't want to think how far he would run from you if you voice out your thoughts.

You swivel around to face him and resume your walk backwards. "I'm doing this because you were rude when you rejected me. Don't get me wrong, I can take rejections, but you didn't even consider my feelings when you said those things. Do you know how much sleep I've lost over you? You're always on my mind."

Harry glances at your shoes dragging on the gravel and gives a cursory check at the space behind you. "Stop confessing and go find something better to do."

"The best thing I can do is to stay beside you." It's a century-old pick-up line, but you could repeat it all day if it means rattling this insensitive hunk of a man beyond belief.

Harry lets out a long, tortured sigh. "What do I have to do to make you stop?"

"Go out with me."

"Aren't we already out right now?" Harry looks around. "And stop walking in reverse. You'll fall," he chides, pulling you back by his side. You had assumed he would be rough in exerting force, but the smooth fingers rounding your wrist are surprisingly gentle.

"Wow, you're dense," you comment, too aware that he hasn't let go of his grasp on you. Not that you mind.

Harry snorts. "Have you looked into the mirror when you called me rude?"

"I have, and guess what I saw?"

"A weirdo."

You shoot him a glare before flicking your hair at him. "A magnificent person that everyone can't help but fall for."

"Not me."

"Not yet." You hold up your wrist that Harry is still holding. "I wouldn't be so sure if I were you. Look at you, not wanting to let me go."

He drops it immediately and clears his throat. It's a shame that you lost his touch, but knocking the realisation into him is worth it. "Hah." Harry shakes his head. "You're more persistent than Big Guy."

"Thank you. I like that quality in me too."

"I never said it was a good thing," says Harry.

"Part of my charm is that I don't care about what you think," you quip.

"And yet you want me to like you back?"

"Haven't you already?" you tease. When Harry scowls at you, you dissolve into laughter. "All right, I'll stop. I'm meeting Tain there later." You nod at the cafe opposite the street. "Thank you for walking me. I'll head over there now, goodbye."

Not a second later, Harry halts in his tracks. "Wait, what?"

You get the reaction you were looking for.

You look at him through your lashes, completely innocent. "I thought you wanted to get rid of me fast?"

It must have been too innocent that Harry doesn't take the bait. "Why are you meeting my friend without me?" he presses.

Harry having a jealous side is something that he would never admit. He thinks he hides it well, but it's as blatant as day. It tends to sneak out when he notices you paying more attention to the people around him or when you insist that Big Guy is cute, a fact that he rapidly refutes.

You pretend to mull over his question, taking your sweet time to stretch the silence out. Let the tension build; Harry can afford to be on his toes for a while. "He's also my friend," you finally answer in a sing-song tone.

Harry crosses his arms and eyes you with suspicion. "Since when do you two hang out?"

"I like him a lot," you simply say. Teasing him turns out to be more entertaining than you had thought.

"More than you like me?"

Well, that was an unexpected response.

"I guess that's something you'll have to lose your sleep over." You flash him a dazzling smile. "No need to wait up for me later. So long, my friend." You accentuate your last word, reminding Harry of the line that he drew last night.

This is exactly how you want to end the meeting. An abrupt start, a long-suffering middle, then comes the abrupt end. It's sure to leave an impression on Harry. You pat his firm shoulder and leave him frozen on the spot, his mouth agape.

See if he could get a wink of sleep tonight.

-

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