#anyway i love astrology this is so fucking cool

[joyridingmp3]

crazy to me to think that my dads birth chart is predominantly fire, my mothers is mostly water, my sister is super earth heavy, and i have a lot of air in mine

[skhardwarevers1]

spent two hours studying and I’m STILL thinking about Cassie

[oflgtfol]

three years after this post i have discovered that the star castor in the constellation gemini, is actually also a sextuple system with basically the same configuration

today i am thinking about this six-star system and nothing else

[macfrog]

ride it, cowgirl cowboy like me chapter ten

hey dudes. anyone up for some dbf? i seriously can't thank you guys enough for all the love y'all show this series. blows my mind every time. i have been super excited for this chapter for a WHILE. might be my fave so far. who knows. you can grab chapters 1-9 on my masterlist and also my ao3 if ur feeling fancy. love u all sm!!!!!! ✨💘💫

pairing: dbf!joel x fem!reader

summary: joel picks you up from a girls’ night. you’ve plans for when you get home

warnings: 18+ (minors dni!!!) reader isn't an astrology girlie (sorry), more pining beCAUSE, alcohol consumption + a mention of the devil’s lettuce, very quick bit of unwanted touching, even quicker bit of protective joel, soft!joel, softdom!joel, one tiny mention of daddy, protected piv sex this time (feeling conservative slutty max will return), reader rides him into the sunset, age gap (reader is 23, joel is 48), cursing

word count: 6.7k

series masterlist | main masterlist | playlist

You lazily drag yourself over and over Joel’s dick, each stroke drawing you nearer and nearer to your high. When your body starts to falter, you feel him shift, and open your eyes to see him leaning over to the nightstand. His fingers grip the rim of the black cowgirl hat you’d worn that night. He lies back, flat against the mattress, and reaches up, placing the hat on top of your head. You smile. Joel speaks in a low, gentle, but commanding whisper. “There you go, cowgirl. Show me how it’s done.”

You never believed much in the power of the universe. Astrology, moons, manifestation. Whatever. None of it ever really meant much to you. You knew your star sign, knew which cool little symbol resembled you, and that was about it. Everything past that was…confusing and, frankly, a little overwhelming.

However.

If the universe were to send you a sign, one huge, fluorescent, multi-colored, in-your-face sign, that it was on your side…this weekend might just be it.

Your dad’s downstairs, finishing up packing for his work trip. His departure is imminent. Sarah’s been in Nashville since last night. A series of texts she sent you at 3AM riddled with spelling errors and heart emojis tell you she’s been having a pretty good time so far.

You are Joel are…alone. All by yourselves. For a whole…twenty hours.

Can’t have it all, I guess.

Your eyes skim down the texts you sent him this morning, texts he is yet to reply to.

You: Merry Christmas!!!

You took his non-reply for confusion – he is almost fifty, maybe he doesn’t get the joke? It’s a pretty lame joke, anyways. Very lame. If your thumb hovers over the send button before you press it, it’s probably not that great a joke. And your thumb had most definitely hovered. So, you’d followed it up.

You: As in, today’s the day

You: I don’t mean it’s actually Christmas

You: I mean like, happy ‘we’re finally gonna be alone again’ day

You: Never mind

“Hello?” Anna’s voice cuts through your train of thought. “Are you even listening to me?”

You drop your phone, shaking your head clear of Joel. “Yep. Sorry. Just didn’t catch that last part. You froze.”

The image of her on your – pretty fucking dusty – laptop screen rolls its eyes, knowing you’re lying. “I don’t know whether to go with the pink or the black boots,” she says.

“Ain’t your dress yellow?”

Her head falls into her hands. She throws herself down onto her bed and slides her laptop closer. “That was, like, ten minutes ago. I’m goin’ with the pink strappy one now.”

“Pink does say rodeo.”

“Fuck you,” she snaps through a giggle. “Remind me what you’re wearin’, again.”

“Black hat, black boots, black dress.”

“You’re so boring.”

“Thanks. Really looking forward to our night out.”

Anna snorts and then stands back up, strides over to her closet and resumes rummaging. “Black jacket, too?” she calls over her shoulder.

“Uhuh,” you reply, glancing back down to your phone. “Although – it has rhinestones. And tassels. Not so boring after all, huh?”

Anna’s silence drags your eyes from the text thread back to your laptop screen. She’s frozen in place, twisted around with a dress in her hands, jaw on the floor. “Show it to me. Now.”

“Hold on,” you roll over and off your bed, your shoulder stiff from the position you’d been lying in, “I think I left it downstairs.”

“Tell your dad I say hey!”

You pad down the carpeted stairs in your socks, toward the sunlit hallway.

“Dad, have you seen my– Oh, fuck.”

As you round the corner at the bottom of the stairs, glancing over your left shoulder to the front door, your chest knocks into something hard. Steady. Strong.

Something you recognize the feel of before you’ve given him a proper look.

“Mind your step, baby,” Joel says, and your heart leaps.

“What the fuck are you doin’ here?” you whisper, peering around his body to look for your dad.

“He’s out front,” Joel tells you, then takes your shoulder and reels you in against his chest. “’m just here to help ‘im with his GPS.”

He plants a kiss on the top of your head and gives you a squeeze. Your head rests safely on his chest, arms link at his back. If you didn’t have plans tonight, and if your dad wasn’t, like, ten feet from you guys right now, you’d never let him go. Just follow him around, vice grip around his waist, surrounded by the smell and feel of him.

Not that that means anything. You’d do other stuff, too. You’re not…you know.

Your dad’s voice streams in through the open door and Joel releases you.

“It ain’t for workin’, Joel, I’m about to throw it at the f– Hey, kiddo.”

“Hey. What’s the matter with your GPS?”

You lean in to the tiny device in his hands. Joel’s elbow comes up to rest on your shoulder.

“Just won’t connect to the car. Every time I plug it in, it just…” He lifts his hands, screen loose in his fingers, and hands you a bewildered look.

You look at him, expressionless. “Why don’t you just use your phone?”

“Because I paid almost a hundred bucks for this thing, and I’ll be damned if I’m– Alright,” he stops himself, eyes shutting in exasperation, “I already explained this to him. I ain’t justifyin’ myself to the two of you.”

Joel’s laughing behind his hand, pretending to scratch his nose when your dad stalks off to the kitchen and throws the device down, snatching the instructions off the table.

The pair of you follow, both still trying to swallow your laughter. Joel wanders around the table and sits down beside your dad, fumbling with the screen. You dive into the coat closet at the bottom of the stairs and fish out your bejeweled, tasseled jacket.

“You lookin’ forward to your girls’ night?” Joel asks, eyes flitting up and down the leather jacket in your hands.

“Mhm,” you reply, opening your mouth to continue when your dad butts in.

“S’posed to be a girls’ night, but that boy Sam’s crashin’ it, ain’t he?”

“Well, we asked him.” You shrug. “It’s his night off.”

Your dad scoffs, shaking his head to Joel, who looks up to you with a confused expression. “’s the big deal with that?”

“Oh, wise up, Miller. He’s only goin’ ‘cause of…” He wags a finger in your direction, and a smirk peels across Joel’s lips.

“Is he, now?”

“Uhuh,” your dad replies, intense stare still on the instructions in front of him. “Makes no damn sense. I plugged it in using the cable they gave me in the box. Stupid thing…”

You shake your head to Joel, who’s still looking at you, bemused. He knows you and Sam are just friends. Also knows your dad is the most oblivious theorist to walk the planet. Just aiming his gun at the wrong target, is all.

“I’m gonna let you two get back to…that,” you say, turning to head back upstairs. “Anna says hi, by the way.”

Your dad’s eyebrows rise once, his eyes never lifting from his GPS. “Hi, Anna.”

“Hey, Anna,” Joel echoes, smirk on his lips.

“Not to you,” you throw back, hopping up the first step. You hear his chuckle as you disappear.

----------

Anna’s reaction to your jacket in person matches that over Facetime: a deafening squeal. A squeal which she repeats almost every damn time she sees you throughout the night.

“So – fucking – cute!” she exclaims for the fifth time, fingers dancing through the tassels. “And it goes so well with your hat.”

You sip on your cocktail, nodding enthusiastically, pushing your eyebrows up underneath the brim of the black cowgirl hat on your head. Trying to match her energy. Your mind’s elsewhere.

Joel texted you a few hours ago. Told you to have a good night, said something about Sam, but you were stood right next to the dude, so you quickly locked your phone and slipped it back into your clutch.

Now, standing with your back against the wall of Franks, watching Sam play pool with Eve, you feel safe enough to read over the message.

Joel: Have fun baby. Be safe. Tell Sam good luck from me.

You squint at the screen, pulling it away from your face and leaning back in to read it over. Good luck? The fuck does he mean –

You: Good luck??

He replies almost instantly.

Joel: Yeah. Good luck winning you over. Took me, what, a week?

Oh, fuck off. You roll your eyes and throw your phone facedown onto the table where Anna and Kara sit, about twenty minutes deep into a conversation you missed the beginning of.

Your attention turns to the room before you – brick-walled, metal dome lightshades hanging over each pool table. Glass-paneled door to your left leading back through to the main bar. For being a tiny bar on a backstreet, Frank’s is pretty lively. There are bodies everywhere, bumping by each other, drunken arms slung over shoulders, hips swaying with the soft rock song blasting from out front.

You imagine your dad here with Joel, maybe Hank and Bill, too. Playing pool, beer bottles resting on the felt while they take their shot. Or sat on the rooftop, sipping on a whiskey. Talking about you and Sarah. What does Joel say about you when you’re not around?

And what does he want to say, but can’t, ‘cause it’s your dad? What does he think, and bite back when it bubbles to the surface?

Your straw gargles, slurping up the last few sips of your drink. You lean over to Anna and Kara, holding your empty glass up.

“Another?”

They both shake their heads, and you nod, turning on your own back to the bar.

You squeeze between two older women, both dressed smart and sharp. One of them – clutching a Manhattan – shifts out of the way as you pass.

“…one more conversation with him about squash,” she tells her companion, “and I am gonna blow my brains out…”

You edge over to the bar and slot into a free space, propping your elbows up on the wood. One of Sam’s coworkers – her name escapes you – notices you and shuffles over, smiling sweetly.

“How you doin’?” she asks, running a damp cloth inside a tumbler.

“Good,” you reply. “Could I just get a Bud, please?”

“Sure thing,” she says, and reaches behind to grab one. You slide her a note and she hands you change, and then you’re on your way back to the pool room.

As you slink by the two women, a weight knocks into your shoulder, almost sending your beer flying out of your hand.

“Sorry,” a rough voice sputters on your left, and you glance in its direction. Some broad dude in a tight t-shirt.

“’s fine,” you mumble, clutching your hat; a smell of weed choking your throat.

He passes by behind you, one hand lingering a little too long on your waist, and you saunter back over to Anna and Kara.

“That dude stinks, right?” Anna whispers behind a cupped hand, and you snort.

“He smells like he’s having a good night.”

“We’re talking about Romeo and Juliet over there. We’re basically third, fourth, and fifth wheeling,” Kara says, nodding over to Sam and Eve, who’re finished their game of pool and have now graduated to darts.

“I don’t…think that’s a thing.”

“Eve asked me if Sam was single earlier,” Anna says, lifting her straw to her red lips.

“What?” Kara spits out, choking on her drink. “Eve has a boyfriend!”

Anna giggles. “He’s kinda an ass, anyway. Look at them, they’re so sweet.”

“You say sweet, I hear morally wrong.”

“Who says it’s morally wrong?” you chirp, alcohol pushing the words over your lips before your brain’s had time to stop them. Your fingers clutch your phone, still laying on the table where you left it. “You?”

“Uh, it’s cheating, dude. What if Nick found out?”

“’s not that big a deal,” you reply, phone screen lighting your face in a blue hue, “they’re just having fun.”

Anna points to you, lifting her glass. “Here’s to havin’ fun, I guess.”

Kara lifts her own reluctantly and they clink, but you’re distracted. Already typing a message to Joel. Bored. Drunk. Morally wrong.

You: What you doing?

Joel: Watching TV. What you doing?

You: What ya watvhin ?

Joel: None of your business. Go get another drink. Looks like you’re not drunk enough.

You lift your head with a giggle, almost ready to turn your phone around to Anna and Kara and say, look what the dude I’m sleeping with just text me. And then, thankfully, your good sense kicks in and you bring the screen closer to your chest.

You: Kinda bored. Wanna come home now please

Bored, horny. It all means the same.

Joel says he’ll be at Frank’s in twenty minutes. You rest your chin on your palm and watch as Sam cheers Eve for hitting bullseye.

“I think they’re cute,” you whisper.

Anna and Kara are already preoccupied, taking photos of one another across the table. Kara leans into you and you smile, flash blinding your hazy eyes for a few minutes afterward. A few more pictures, couple boomerangs of your glasses cheersing, and then your phone’s vibrating.

Joel: Outside. No rush.

That last part is where he’s wrong. There most definitely is a rush, and it’s in the form of the heat that starts to pool between your legs.

“Alright,” you shimmy off your barstool and stretch your back. “My ride’s here.”

“What?” Anna almost screams, her hand slapping down on the table. “You’re leavin’?”

You nod. “Sorry, babe.”

“Don’t babe me, traitor. It’s, like, midnight.”

“Uh, it’s, like, almost 2AM. I’m tired. I don’t know how y’all do it.”

She sighs, conceding, and agrees to walk with you to the front door. Kara and Eve stop off by the bar to grab another drink. Sam holds the door open for you and Anna and you’re hit by a wave of cold night air, instantly cooling your hot, sweaty skin.

“Is that…Mr. Miller?” Anna asks, mouth falling wide open.

You glance down the street and notice his black truck, parked up by the curb. “Mhm,” you reply, “my dad’s out of town, so he’s picking me up.”

“Can he take me home, too?”

Sam snickers. “Wow, Anna. That’s just…Wow.”

She shrugs, lips closing around her straw as she stares at Joel’s truck. Something inside you lurches at the idea of Joel sitting there, his eyes glued on you, watching everything you do, everyone around you. And then again at the thought of Anna and her doting gaze on him.

“Alright, I guess that’s my cue to skip.”

Anna pouts. “One more drink?”

“I’m good, thanks,” you scoff, patting her head affectionately. I got business to attend to.

You give her a quick kiss on the cheek and Sam wraps an arm around your shoulder, giving it a squeeze before you’re wandering off toward Joel’s truck.

“Hey.” Something – someone – hooks around your elbow, and you turn back. It’s that same guy who stank of weed.

“Hi,” you reply, as sweet as you can, but trying to loosen his grip.

“Saw you inside, you out with friends?”

“Mhm. I’m just leavin’, my–”

“Few of us are headed upstairs. You wanna come?”

You glare at him a few seconds, before yanking your arm from his grasp. “Nah, no thanks. I’m leaving. Have a good night.”

You stagger off, feeling his eyes on you as you go. Joel’s truck headlights switch on, dazzling your eyes, and you quickly click around to the passenger side, throwing yourself in beside him.

Joel doesn’t say hey, doesn’t squeeze your thigh, doesn’t even look at you when you settle into the seat. Just asks –

“Who’s that kid?”

“Uh…not sure. Bumped into ‘im in the bar.”

“He give you trouble?”

“No,” you lean over the console, pulling your seatbelt over your body, and flash him a tipsy grin, “thought that was my job. Givin’ trouble.”

Joel doesn’t reply. Doesn’t take his scowl off the dude outside Frank’s, either. Your eyes meander across to his hand, locked in a tight fist around the wheel. Your smile drops.

“Joel. It’s fine. Can we go?”

When you lift a hand to the crook of his elbow and he feels your warmth on his skin, he tears his gaze away and it lands on you. Soft, gentle. His lip isn’t curled anymore. His brows lift.

His eyes watch your lips as you whisper the words to him.

“Want you to take me home.”

“’s go, pretty girl.”

----------

Joel refuses, no matter how many times you ask, how hard you bat your eyelashes, how many promises you make, to stop by a drive thru.

“Please?” you ask one last time before he’s pulling in to his neighborhood.

He shakes his head. “Look at that, we’re already home.”

“I ain’t takin’ no for an answer, Miller, not until the engine’s off. We’re still driving.”

He doesn’t reply. Just pulls up in his drive, cuts the engine, and looks at you. Shrugs. “Oops.”

“Fuck you,” you groan, sliding down in your seat. “I’m starvin’.”

“Make you a big breakfast in the mornin’, how’s that sound?”

“Wanted a Big Mac, but whatever.”

Your fingers fumble for the door handle, clicking it open. You roll out of the truck and stroll around to meet Joel at the driver’s side. He snakes an arm around your shoulders, steadying you as you walk up his porch steps and into the house.

“I’m fine,” you murmur, glancing around his living room.

“Alright,” he says, tossing his keys and kicking his boots off.

Your eyes settle on the TV screen, paused. Probably around the time you text him. There’s a crowded hospital room onscreen, doctors in dark blue scrubs, all surrounding someone lying on a bed, someone who looks pretty familiar…

“Is that…fuckin’…Grey’s Anatomy…?”

Joel chuckles, peeling your jacket from your shoulders.

“That’s Meredith! When she–”

“She fell in the damn river,” Joel mutters, placing the tasseled leather over the back of his couch. “Derek had to go in after her. Intense stuff.”

“Right? I told you it was good!” You smack his arm. “I can’t believe you’re watchin’ it without me.”

“I ain’t watchin’ it,” he protests, “it was just on, ‘n I needed something to keep me awake. I’m still rooting for Meredith ‘n George.”

“We can watch it from the beginning.”

“Yeah?”

You nod, moving over to him. “And then I can be over here all the time, and you can make me all the grilled cheese I want, and we can lie in bed and…do stuff.” Your chin rests on his chest, flashing him a toothy grin. Hands swinging in his at your side.

Joel’s eyes narrow, but there’s a smirk on his lips. “You’re drunk.”

“I’m not drunk. I had a couple drinks. I’m not drunk.”

“H’many fingers am I holdin’ up?” Joel asks, raising his fist. You punch it away.

“Ha-ha,” you say tonelessly, and wander away from him.

“Baby,” he calls you from behind. Sure, you’re tipsy, and he can be a cocky asshole – especially when he has to take care of you, but that’s a sound you’ll never get tired of hearing. Baby. You’re his darlin’, his sweet girl.

You spin around, very nearly losing your footing, and he’s standing with an arm out, ready for you to take.

You smile dumbly. Meander over, and take his strong hand in both of yours, wrapping your fingers around two of his to let him reel you in against his body.

“C’mon,” he whispers, as you lean against his frame. “Let’s get you upstairs.”

You follow him up, knowing where he’s leading you. You’ve spent more time in there the last few weeks than you have your entire life.

His room is cool, not cold, but comfortable. It’s Joel all over; the muted colors, the décor, the smell that calms you as soon as you stumble over the threshold.

He sits you down on the edge of his bed and kneels, pulling your boots off one by one.

You giggle.

“You laughin’ at me?”

“You’re like my own personal tr…No, not trainer. Wait. Personal ch–”

“Chef?” he says, snorting. “Not chef. Try again, soberhead.”

“Oh, I dunno.” You throw your arms up as he sits your boots against the wall, then stands and takes your hat off.

“This,” he says, placing it on the nightstand at your side of the bed, “is very cute. I like it.”

“I’m cute, too, y’know,” you whisper, pouting.

He smiles, and leans down to give you a quick kiss on the lips, pointer finger under your chin.

“The cutest.”

“Ha!” you roar. Joel twists around you to undo the zipper at the back of your dress. “Joel Miller thinks I’m the cutest. Take that, Anna…”

He laughs. When he unzips you, he pulls the dress off your bare chest and down your legs. You don’t shy away, used to the idea now of him seeing you naked. Used to the idea of him seeing you in any vulnerable state; drunk, or naked, or in a sobbing mess on day two of your period.

You notice, even though you’re a tad dizzy with what alcohol is left in your system, that his eyes linger on your panties a moment before he turns and grabs a tee from a chair.

And something inside you ticks.

“Joel?”

He’s pulling the shirt over your head. It smells like him. Intoxicates you much more and much quicker than any drink you could order from Frank’s.

“Mhm?”

You feed both arms through the sleeves, swallowing the question you were about to ask. He’s standing up now, telling you to get into bed.

He walks over to his dresser and begins removing his own clothing. He only sleeps in boxershorts. Your eyes track him as he yanks his t-shirt up over his toned shoulders; fingers undo his belt, unzip his jeans. Everything is discarded to the side for now; he has something more pressing to attend to.

His best friend’s daughter, laying in his bed, a pool of wet forming in her panties.

He just doesn’t know it yet.

As he slips under the covers beside you, you pull off your underwear in one quick movement. Joel doesn’t seem to notice, or so you think; his arms immediately take hold of your waist and pull you against his body. You’ve gotten into the habit of sleeping pressed against his torso, his thigh between your legs. Joel settles comfortably with you draped over him, and lets out a deep sigh.

“Joel?” you whisper again into the darkness, growing braver.

“Hm?” he replies, starting to fall asleep.

You toss ideas over in your head. None of them good, you’re sure, but you’re getting desperate. How he can��t feel your damp core on his thigh, you’ve no idea.

But then, maybe he can? Joel doesn’t miss anything, especially not where you and your…arrangement are concerned. Can he feel you? Is he deliberately ignoring it?

Maybe he has something up his own sleeve?

“I…was just wondering…”

“Wondering what, darlin’?” His voice is muffled, spoken through unmoving lips. You glance up at his face. His eyes are closed.

You grow more desperate.

“…wondering what your body count is?”

You ask it as innocently as you can, your voice wavering on the words body count. It gets him, though, as his eyes blink open a few seconds after you say it.

“I ain’t tellin’ you that. Go to sleep.” He closes them again.

“I wanna know.”

He ignores you.

“Joel,” you moan.

He calls you by name now, and you’re not sure if you’re pissing him off or turning him on – or both.

“Go. To. Sleep.”

“I’m not tired, though. Not yet.”

In response, Joel lets go of his hold on you and rolls over without another word. It’d sting if you weren’t soaking wet right now, and didn’t have a strong hunch he was hardening under the sheets.

“Joooel…” you whine, sitting up on your elbow. No use.

You take hold of his shoulder and tug him back toward you, rolling him onto his back. Like a deadweight, he remains frozen.

“Ugh,” you groan, and drag yourself on top of him, knees either side of his waist, ass hovering. When you sit back onto him, your core lining up with his crotch, your suspicions are proven right.

He’s hard.

Not as hard as he can get, as you’d like him to be, as you’ve felt him before…but he’s hard.

“Joel…” you mewl into the darkness, starting to grind your bare center over his boxers. The friction feels good, so you apply more pressure.

“If you don’t stop that,” Joel’s voice finally grumbles, “I’ll be sleepin’ downstairs.”

“Sex in the living room sounds good to me.”

His eyes open. “We,” one hand comes up to point between the both of you, as if he doesn’t expect your sobering self to understand which pairing he means, “are not having sex. No sex tonight.”

You sigh, shoulders dropping dramatically.

“Huff all you want, baby, it is not happening.”

“Why?”

“Why? Because you’re a few drinks too deep and it’s three in the morning. I’m tired, it’s been a long night waitin’ for you, I–”

“So let me make it up to you. I ain’t even drunk anymore.”

“No?”

“Nuh-uh. Could count any number a’ fingers you put in front of me.”

“Funny.” He closes his eyes.

“Joel.” You drag your hips again. If anything, he’s harder than he was when you first sat down on him. “I had a few drinks, I’ve sobered up. C’mon…”

You bend your waist and lower yourself to align your lips with the side of his head, peppering the skin under his ear with soft kisses.

“I wanna ride you, daddy.”

This gets him. His eyes open again, staring up at the ceiling. His hands slowly come up to rest on your hips.

“Don’t– That’s low, even for you, kid.”

You giggle and straighten up. When your hands lightly trace down his chest, onto his midriff and follow the trail of hair to his boxers, he doesn’t stop you. Just watches from beneath hooded lids, tensing at each point your fingers touch.

You raise your eyebrows, watching his expression for any sign to stop, and it never comes. He remains in place when your fingertips hook around the waistband of his underwear, slowly pulling down.

Joel breathes in deep when you reveal the tip of his cock, springing up to rest on his lower stomach. You feel your core clench. If he’s not inside you in the next five minutes, you might scream.

Well, you’ll be screaming either way.

You look back into his eyes and tilt your jaw, asking for permission.

“Go on,” he whispers.

Your hands take him eagerly, pumping up and down his shaft, and his head falls back onto the pillow with pleasure.

“Uhuh,” you mumble, focusing on his solid dick, but desperate for more. You give him a gentle squeeze and a groan passes his lips, his grip tightening on your body.

You let go of him and grind your hips along his length, folds coating his shaft in your wetness. Joel’s humming, watching as you pull yourself up and down him.

Then, you lean forward, and your hands take hold of him again. You give him a couple more strokes, eliciting a deep groan, and then line his bare cock up at your entrance, practically foaming at the mouth to sink down on him already.

“Woah, woah,” Joel takes hold of your wrist, “slow down, cowgirl. I gotta get a condom.”

You huff as he leans over to his nightstand and opens the drawer. “Don’t want one, Joel, I’m on the pill.”

“No way, baby,” he says through a chuckle, silver wrapper in his fingers. “We already did that, one too many times.”

“So just pull out?”

“Nope.”

You sigh, frustrated.

Joel holds the packet out to you, smirk on his face like he doesn’t expect you to take it.

So, you do.

You steal it from him and tear the wrapper, fishing the rubber out between your two fingers. Pinching the top, you roll it down his shaft and pump up and down for good measure.

“Ready?” you ask, head tilted, cocky smile on your lips.

“Wait, wait,” he whispers, shoulders lifting off the mattress. He lifts the hem of your shirt, telling you, “Off,” before pulling it over your head, exposing your bare breasts.

He stares you down; legs wide open, straddling him, completely naked, nipples hardened, figure silhouetted against the slivers of light peeking through the shades from the streetlights outside. You’ve never felt so confident, mounted on top of Joel fucking Miller.

His eyes roll back and his head falls against the pillow. “Fuckin’ – knock yourself out, baby.”

You steady yourself with one hand on his chest, the other taking hold of his cock and guiding it to your entrance. You push his head through your folds a couple times, and Joel hisses at the feeling, before you sink down.

You stop after the tip the first time, but it draws the same reaction from you both. Joel groans even louder than before, and you moan as you push yourself back up.

Then, without warning, you sink the whole way down.

He’s so deep it brings tears to your eyes, so big that he’s stretching you out more than you thought possible, hitting all the right spots already before you’ve even begun.

Joel’s eyes are screwed shut, his grip on your hips digging into your skin so tight it almost hurts. His jaw is tight, holding back what you can only imagine are the neediest moans he could sound.

So, you decide to draw them from him.

You lean forward and begin bouncing, feeling his thickness pull out and push back into you, both hands on Joel’s chest now for balance. You’re whimpering, the burn of his cock stretching your tight cunt so good and borderline painful at the same time, but you don’t stop.

“Good girl, good fuckin’ girl,” Joel moans, opening his eyes to watch you ride his dick. “’attagirl, just like that.”

“Joel…” you cry, letting him bottom out each time, feeling his balls slam into your ass with each bounce.

“Yeah? You like that? Tell me, baby, use your words.”

“So – good – Joel – oh!” you shout.

“Such a good fuckin’ girl for me, huh?”

You fight against the urge to close your eyes; the pleasure between your legs and the knot beginning to tighten in your stomach are all you can see, hear, feel, but you want to watch him some more. You want to see what you do to him.

You lean forward even further, moving your hands to the pillow either side of his head, so you’re directly above him now. One of Joel’s hands comes to the back of your head, pulling you down until your foreheads are together, moans escaping your mouths only to be inhaled by the other.

Joel speaks to you quieter, through gritted teeth.

“Like ridin’ me, do ya? Like the way it feels?”

“Mhm,” you moan back, and he brings a hand down to slap your ass. You yelp. “Fuck…”

“You look so good, baby, so good. Such a fuckin’ whore for me, hm?”

Another stinging spank pulls a whine from you so filthy, so loud that you’re sure the neighbors will hear, even at this hour. Joel smirks back, resting his hand back on your hip, where he has a grip of you.

Then, he bucks his own hips, pushing into you deeper than before, so deep you see stars. Your mouth falls open in a silent moan, panting through the searing pain so good that you never want it to end.

“Joel – I’m gonna – fuck, I’m gonna cum!”

“That’s it, sweet girl, cum all over me. Let go, baby, I’m here.”

That does it. The coil snaps, your walls clench. Joel lets out a guttural moan as you throw your head back and ride him through your orgasm. He coos you through it, squeezing your hips, whispering, That’s my girl, doin’ so good, baby as your body rocks back and forth on his cock.

When you come back down to earth, your lids heavy and breathing staggered, you swear your body can’t take anymore. You feel so fucked out that you’re not sure you can sit up straight on top of Joel.

But he’s always been able to read your mind, and this is no different. He pulls himself up and into you, propped up with one strong hand on the mattress behind his back, the other wrapping around your waist. His cock is still buried deep inside you.

“Joel…” you whimper pathetically. “Can’t do it anymore…”

“That’s okay, baby, we’re gonna do this one together, alright? I got you. Can you do that for me? Just one more?”

You link your arms around his neck and lean into him; his strong form doesn’t shift, just takes on your weight and keeps the both of you upright as he starts to bounce you on his length again.

You’re overstimulated; your cunt swollen, fucked-out, drenched in cum, but Joel makes you feel so good that it’s impossible to let him stop. Your arms pull him in closer to your chest to steady yourself, and his groans echo in your ear.

“Good girl, that’s– that’s it, so fuckin’ tight for me, pretty girl.”

When it all becomes too much to take – Joel’s hand squeezing your waist, your clit rutting against the bottom of his stomach, his fucking cock buried so deep inside you that you swear you can feel him splitting you open – you push him back down onto the bed.

Once when you still lived in New York you read something in a Cosmo about spelling the word ‘coconut’ with your hips when riding a guy. You’d tried it a couple times with hookups, and it’d never done anything for you. They’d never done anything for you.

But here you are, nearing your second orgasm, on top of someone making such a mess of you that you brain can hardly compute to spell coconut, never mind your hips being able to round the shape of the word.

You lazily drag yourself over and over Joel’s dick, each stroke drawing you nearer and nearer to your high. When your body starts to falter, you feel him shift, and open your eyes to see him leaning over to the nightstand.

His fingers grip the rim of the black cowgirl hat you’d worn that night. He lies back, flat against the mattress, and reaches up, placing the hat on top of your head. You smile. Joel speaks in a low, gentle, but commanding whisper.

“There you go, cowgirl. Show me how it’s done.”

It’s all you need. It’s all it takes, by this point.

You brace yourself against his chest again, positioning yourself just right, and bounce on him until your vision starts to blur.

The noises slipping out of Joel’s mouth each time your bodies connect at the base of his cock push you closer and closer; every groan and whimper which passes his lips makes you sink your hips down even harder, pushing him deeper and deeper with every bounce.

“So – fuckin’ – big – inside me,” you slur, and Joel moans in response.

When he takes your hips in his hands again, you know he’s there. He’s just waiting for you to fall first.

You give in to him, feeling yourself close around his length, throwing your head back in pleasure as your second orgasm washes over you, igniting every inch of your body.

Joel’s groans meet yours as you lean forward again, slowly rolling your hips to coax him through his own orgasm. Watching him release, buried deep inside, he looks so good that you feel like you could cum again just at the sight.

You feel his cock start to go limp inside you and when he opens his eyes, panting, you smile sweetly at him.

“Fuck, darlin’.”

You giggle, hips still driving gently against his. “Good?”

“So good, baby, did so well. You’re gonna be the death of me,” he whispers with a trembling breath, taking your waist in both hands and giving it a tight squeeze. You roll to the side, letting his cock slip out of you, condom full of his seed.

You tumble onto the mattress beside him, both heaving, moaning messes. Your chests rise and fall in sync, fingers tangling and untangling by your sides.

Then Joel gets up, and wanders over to the bathroom, where you watch him through the open door as he pulls the filled rubber from his soft dick. He bins it, then runs a facecloth under the faucet, dabbing it across his own forehead as he makes his way back over to you.

You can’t hide your grin as you watch his naked form approach; tan lines where his t-shirt must end, dark hair decorating his arms, legs, chest, the base of his cock. He sits at the edge of the bed, arm outstretched with the flannel in hand.

You go to take it from him, but he doesn’t loosen his grip. Just pats it over your face gently, soft gaze on yours, your fingers intertwined around his wrist. Your eyes fall closed, the cold cloth a relief against your warm, sweaty skin.

“Feel nice?” he whispers.

You nod in response. Your chest swells at how soft he’s being, how tender. When he stands to throw the flannel back into the sink, you almost find yourself reaching out to hold him down.

He climbs over you, springing back down onto the mattress with a heaving sigh.

You prop yourself up and shimmy over, positioning yourself on top of Joel, chest-to-chest. He looks down and smirks, running a lazy hand across your cheek.

“You’re so good to me,” he mumbles.

You tilt your head with a smile and lay down on his chest. You can hear his heartrate slowly calming down. His fingers twist through your messy hair.

“I have no idea what you’re laced with,” he says, “but you got me.”

You smile. “Yeah?”

Joel nods. You shift positions, adjusting your aching hips safely between his thighs. “You hurtin’?” he asks.

You nod. “Mhm. But I like it. It’s you.”

Joel’s hands run through your hair and his fingertips trace your shoulders. His touch is so light it almost tickles. You turn your jaw and kiss the back of his hand.

“My dad gone, Sarah out, free house…” you mutter.

“Hm.”

“So, you invite your mistress over.” You lift your head, smirking at him.

Joel’s chest vibrates with laughter. “You ain’t my mistress.”

“Oh really? What am I, then?”

“I am not having this conversation at 4AM, kid. Ask me again tomorrow.”

You’d think of something to throw back at him, messing with him, but your entire body aches, and your heavy eyes are starting to fold closed with how sleepy you suddenly feel.

You pull Joel’s sheets over yourself, turning your back to him. Joel instantly follows suit, pulling up right behind you, your back tight to his chest, his thighs cupping the back of yours, then slipping one between your legs.

His arms lock around your torso under the sheets. Safe. Secure. Nothing can happen to you as long as he’s got you.

“Ten,” his voice mumbles against the back of your head.

You turn so your ear is pressed against his lips. “Huh?”

“Ten. That’s my number. Includin’ you.”

Oh.

He doesn’t ask to hear yours. You wouldn’t mind if he did, but he doesn’t. You don’t think he’s telling you to hear yours in exchange. He’s telling you because you asked. He’s telling you because, whether in attempt to turn him on or simply to know something about him that you didn’t before – something nobody else knows – it mattered to you.

He’s telling you because you matter to him.

You nuzzle back into him a little, a form of reply, and, as you start to fall asleep, you feel him place a gentle kiss to your ear.

----------

taglist: @yvonneeeee @subconsciouscollapse @leahlovestwd @peqchsoup @whorror-s @k1ttybean @whichwitchwanda @abuttoncalledsmalls @anner--nanner @jpbplvr @laysmt @ankhmutes @bookishhella @cannolighost @luvrking @mellymbee @yourwinchesterbros @nostalxgic @scottstotts @daiseygriffithx @letsgroovetonighttt @huffle-punk @unbotheredbeeeee @iluvurfather @wildcat116 @godisawomansblog @55vvaa55 @koshkaj-blog @initforthebooks @theywhowriteandknowthings @thatgirljayy@sasakipsposts @casa-boiardi @milla-frenchy @aim-formyheart @taeslarityy @lxstbxyscave23 @joelmillerxapologist @capt-rex @giixo @capricorngf @feministfanboi @fifia-writes @darleneslane @theplumsoldier @sharp-cheekbones-locked @suzmagine @endlessthxxghts @ivebeenflagged @blognametakenn @jessahmewren @nobodycanseeinsidemysoul @ranahx @pedropascalsbbg @cartoon-garbage04 @caatheeriinee07 @kngslayr @hopplessilse @vickywallace @gracieispunk @regalwhovianbrowncoat774 @casa-boiardi @earthtogrogu @sexygaypalpatine @serenaxpedro @brittmb115 @pascalpvnk @jediknightjana @mrsquill @uncassettodiricordi

(lmk if i’ve missed you out & check my taglist info for how to be added!)

[archangeldyke-all]

hi angel !! i hope ur doing well.

what do you think sevika would be like with a witchy partner? like a partner whose always slipping crystals into her pockets or using makeup to draw protection sigils on her arm (me lol)

🌕

adorable

disclaimer! i know a bit about witchcraft, being a lesbian and all, but i'm not super familiar with rituals, or cultural practices, so this is all kinda just guessing.

men and minors dni

the thing is... she tries so hard to be a skeptic.

she scoffs every morning when you gently tuck a black crystal into her side satchel, promising it'll protect her.

she rolls her eyes when you talk about astrology or the phases of the moon... like the planets have powers.

and any time she walks in on your burying a candle or some herbs, she just shakes her head and chuckles, then kisses your head and goes about her day.

but... and she fucking hates the fact that it's true... your little potions and spells and whatever else you do... it seems to work.

she asked you one night after she got home, as she was cooking dinner and you were unpacking her satchel for her, why you don't just leave the 'little rock' in overnight, so you don't have to pack it for her every day.

you giggled and explained to her that half the protection is the way you bless it, the symbols you trace into it every morning.

"what kinda symbols?"

"well, i made a special one for you. for when you go to work. that you'll come home safe to me."

and you kinda take her breath away with that answer.

and, worst of all, it seems like it works. each day since you've moved in and started the little morning ritual, she's come home safe and sound, excited to see you.

(she convinces herself it's just the placebo effect, until she comes to terms with the truth when you're too sick one morning to pack her little satchel for her, she forgets the crystal, and gets the shit beat outta her. twice in one day.)

sometimes you anoint her forehead or pulse points with little oils: petals and herbs and other little goodies in the jars. she'll ask what it's for and you'll shrug.

"this one's for peace of mind. you look all far away." you said one night, when you caught on the couch watching tv in the middle of the night.

she was snoring on top of you within minutes.

"this one's for communication." you said on the morning before she asked silco for a raise.

which she ended up getting.

"this one's... well... you'll see." you said mischeviously, before pressing a kiss to her cheek and winking at her.

when she had your ankles by her ears, her strap balls deep inside of you, you giggled and bit her earlobe. "it was an arousal-- ah! arousal oil."

"figures." sevika grunts.

anyways... you know that despite the teasing sevika respects it. she's always bringing you 'cool rocks' for your crystal collection-- you don't have the heart to tell her most of them are just pebbles, so you just add 'em to the shelf. she'll pick up anything and everything that looks a little mystical for you: from cool black matches, to candles whose flames burn different colors, to real crystals, and bones or taxidermied critters.

(she kind of loves the witchy-gothy vibe of it all, loves that there's always candles burning, and incense by the windows-- little jars of goodies and ingredients everywhere. she thinks it's cool. she'll never admit it to you, though.)

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @vikasub

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 3.3

John having to get high out of his mind because he knows he's invited Paul to come play with him is so so sad. These are the same guys who used to sit facing each other on a bed playing guitars for hours, and now this is them?

Is John calling Paul “Jack Lemon” a reference to “some like it hot”? Because if so, I have questions. Anyway, when your estranged best friend shows up to hang out with you and a bunch of people, talking about being in love again and getting jizzed on is extremely normal and acceptable behavior.

This jam session is so fucking painful though. Paul's doing his best to just push through and get them to actually play something and John's just too far gone.

My theory: there's two reasons he did this. 1. He's avoidant and the last thing he's going to do is let on how bad he needs John in his life and how scared he is that if John gets back with Yoko that that'll be difficult. And 2. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't. If he'd kept it from John that Yoko wanted him back and later John cried to him about how much he missed Yoko or something? Paul can't have that.

John singing a snatch of Yesterday before a take of “Whatever gets you through the Night”??? Did either of them ever write a song where they weren't thinking about the other? Did they ever have a minute of peace without the other rattling the bars of the cage in his brain?

“Hold me Darling, come on, listen to me. I won't do you no harm.” Duh it's about Paul. Oh my gosh.

And with Bless You I'm always so torn. There are so many obvious references to Paul which the doc points out beautifully, but situationally it could also be about Yoko. Maybe it's about both of them in the same way that don't let me down is about both of them.

Anyway the cosmic visuals are gorgeous.

Why'd you have to phrase it like that though? Twice?

Hall of Fame moment. It's a high point for him career-wise and he chose to pull Paul into his spotlight. Not only to sing Paul's song, not only to name-drop him, but to publicly call him an official romantic title. Not “boyfriend” or “ex-wife” which both could've been much more mocking if that's what he was trying to do. But “fiance”. It's official and respected, but it's still got the lustful, unsettled, connotation that something like “husband” lacks.

Johann Weener, everyone. What a loser.

Everyone who still refers to Lennon Remembers like it's the fucking Bible listen to this. It doesn't go on for the next five years, let alone fifty.

John refusing to walk to blocks to sign the papers when George and Paul flew over the ocean. And only on the basis of astrology. He really didn't want the divorce. My heart aches for him. But he made his bed as they say.

I'm putting on my tinfoil hat again here, but I do just have to point out that one of John's first songs, “Hello, Little Girl,” has a line that goes, “you never seem to see me standing there”. And the earliest draft of WISHST, which was started soon after, answers that line. “I saw you standing there.” (Yes, it said you originally, not her). So maybe. Just maybe. That song wasn't just a Paul song, but a song that John knew Paul had put a message in for him. Okay, I apologize for the insanity. On another note, I do wonder if he ever found out what Paul thought of that.

Interviewer: ≈ at this point, do you like writing by yourself, or do you want to write with Paul again?≈ John: ≈well it's a bit of both. It's the same for Paul. We were talking about it a week ago. Okay, cool. So they definitely talked openly and honestly about potentially writing together again.

John, about their partnership, “There was always the feeling that someone was there if you needed it.” Paired with the gayest picture ever taken and then Paul singing “if I can do anything at all, let me help.” Thanks. I hate it.

John was so excited for New Orleans! What happened? I mean I have my theory based on May's book and the sudden shift in behavior. But it's pretty dark.

You know how crazy Paul is about John in interviews now? How he can't seem to keep John's name out of his mouth? John was worse in the seventies. He's promoting his Rock’n’Roll album, talking unprompted and romantically about how he met Paul, when the interviewer reminds him what relationship he's supposed to be romanticizing right now. So John remembers too and dedicates the album to Yoko who he's just got back together with.

Biconic quote.

Interviewer asks, after John's brought him up, if John's pleased with how well Paul's doing. John expresses his relief that Ringo has "found himself a niche" and then

I really do think that last bit sums up a big chunk of how John feels about Paul, and why he feels alright playing dirty against Paul or slagging Paul off. Why it would have been the furthest thing from his mind that Paul actually struggled or was insecure. Why Paul had to remind him, “I'm only a person like you, love.”

What an insane thing to think, let alone say. What if Julian had heard that? I'm pretty sure Julian and Paul weren't in contact, really at all, until the eighties, right? So John's doing better than he is at this point (I mean he's his dad, he should be). John is insecure about every possible thing and compares himself to Paul in every possible way.

Baby. He needed some serious help. The thing that sucks about being ahead of your time is that you also have to live in a world that's behind your needs.

And then. “There's always a friendly tv channel to turn to that's going to make you feel less alone.” I wonder if Paul “Call Me Back Again, John I know you're not that tired from the baby just let me in the fucking door” McCartney heard this? It's possible with how obsessive they were, but it's also impossible with how busy he kept himself.

Okay, here's the first story we've been missing about Paul experiencing negative emotions. And, of course, as always in this doc, it's paired perfectly with “Don't Let it Bring you Down” which is the musical mission statement of Paul's clenched-jawed smile philosophy.

"I tend to get a bit absolute in my statements." Yes, John. Yes you do. Another quote that Big Lennon fans should keep in mind.

John on the three weeks he took to decide if he wanted to continue the band after the first Hamburg trip: The others were mad because we could've been making money. Yeah, John, Paul suddenly had to work in a factory after he'd thrown away an educated, white-collar career (the first in his family) to be in your band. I'd be pissed too if you just didn't even bother to call. Anyway I just hate how casual John is about it. Someone who never had to worry about money is just never going to get that.

John doesn't even remember a ballpark number of how much they were making. Paul remembers exactly bragging to his professors that he was making fifteen a week in Hamburg. Sorry to go on and on about this right before Paris, but to me it's an important difference between them.

Anyway, the fact that Paris was more than just a vacation for them. The fact that – according to Stuart and John at least – they might not have come back. It's dizzying. They really thought about just running off together. I wonder what made them decide to come back and continue the band.

No offense if you do, but I don't personally believe in this stuff. What would the motivation have been for the tarot reader to tell him that? Either way, fuck him.

Gosh the live version of “Call Me Back Again”. You feel it, physically, how bad he wants this phonecall. And the desperation from such a successful man is fantastic. Literally, John, how did it feel to be the only man in the world that could get Paul McCartney to beg? “Pretty baby” “what can I do?” “Boohoohoo babe.” “I tried the operator, but I just can't get through.”

Reporter at the Wings over America tour: No John Lennon, no George Harrison, and no Ringo Starr, just Paul McCartney. And for everyone here tonight, that seemed to be plenty! Obviously he's loving this praise after all the negative press. Anyone would, and Paul needs it more than most people actually. But I bet part of him is like “stop. Don't say it like that, they already hate me enough as it is.”

How many times has John admitted that he finds Paul attractive? “It was no surprise, you know, when the kids – girls saw him, they go ‘ooh! Ooh!’ right away, you know?”

“I know it's true. It's all because of you.” Playing over this? Are you kidding me? Anyway I've never seen the picture version of this, so I thought I'd screenshot it.

But actually, in a way, the original written lyrics to Now and Then are less depressing than what he sang on the demo. “I know it's true, I'm still in love with you, and if I make it through, it's all because of you,” is obviously sad because they're both married to other people. But at least in that version, John's saying his own personal resilience to life's struggles comes from his relationship with Paul, which is nice. Whereas when John, who is sliding into a self-hating deep depression I'm comparing himself to Paul's phenomenal success, sings “it's all because of you” in a general sense, it almost feels like a callback to the ‘I'm shit and I couldn't do anything but be a Beatle (and ride Paul's boat)’ quote. Which is heartbreaking. I wish he could've recognized his own genius.

But yeah either way it's enough to make your heart heavy. If anyone needs a good cry, just go to the last five minutes of this. That should've been the now and then music video, but Paul's too scared of feelings. Which. You know. Considering how much it affects me, I can't even imagine how much it affects him. So he gets a pass.

“Why must we be alone? It's real love. It's real.”

[star--anon]

Do you have any headcanons for thominewt?

this took me several days because I was determined to make this post comically long and I genuinely don't remember why

I also ended up not making it comically long

so uh. sorry

anyway, OH MY GOD SO MANY

Newt is exceptionally good at guessing when Minho and Thomas are trying to hide their pain

and he has no issues with dragging them to bed

Minho probably does stupid shit like "birthday noogies" or whatever, which has inspired a 2v1 of Newt and Thomas VS Minho on April Fools

(Minho still wins, somehow)

Thomas gets dragged into things like astrology and fortune telling by Newt

Every time Minho tries to tell Thomas how stupid astrology is, Newt just scoffs and goes, "Typical Pisces behavior" and drags Thomas away

Minho is not a Pisces. Minho is a Libra.

Thomas calls him an "asymptomatic Libra" and Newt is very quick to jump on that train. Minho hates the both of them so, so much.

Thomas is a Virgo. Newt is a Taurus.

Minho can be turned into putty with enough kisses and hugs and gentle touches. It takes Thomas hours of work, but it's so worth it.

On the weekend, Newt often comes home to a pliant Minho with his face buried in Thomas' chest. Thomas just giggles.

Thomas loves long walks.

Sometimes the three go out together: Thomas strolling down the sidewalk at a leisurely pace; Newt several paces behind, stopping every few seconds to snap a photo of something cool with his fancy camera; Minho several blocks ahead, sprinting like his life depends on it, doubling back whenever he gets too far away.

Thomas and Minho are on piggyback duty if Newt's ankle ever acts up in the middle of a walk

Thomas once fell down trying to pick Newt up, so piggyback duty has mostly been delegated to Minho

Speaking of which, two of the rooms in the house (one of them is Newt's bedroom) are padded with extra insulation to keep it nice and warm during the winter because the cold messes with Newt's ankle

Minho carries heating packs in his pockets at all times and rubs them against Newt's ankle whenever the pain gets unbearable in public

Sometimes it helps, mostly it doesn't. Newt appreciates the effort.

Thomas tries to fight doctors who are reluctant to prescribe medication and/or painkillers.

Thomas studied law and is not afraid to use his Master's.

Newt wanted to get a bird, Minho wanted a dog, and Thomas wanted a cat. They compromised and bought fish.

Newt has names for each individual fish, Minho named all of them Guppy, and Thomas' names for the fish change with each conversation.

Newt prefers baggy clothes and often just steals Minho's stuff because Minho is SO FUCKING JACKED- ...because Minho's shoulder span is so much wider than Newt's

the only issue is that Newt is about three inches taller than Minho, so Minho's "big shirts" are like baggy crop tops

Thomas, who is more Newt’s height, starts buying clothes that he knows Newt will like and smirks whenever it disappears.

When the three go shopping together, Newt often shoves clothes that he wants to wear into Minho and Thomas' carts.

Thomas and Minho like to make bets with each other like "He'll take this one within a week."

[lienspien]

I feel like all the Skittles have SOME sort of weird thing that's going on with them. Tw mentions of blood and dissecting

Barty is batshit crazy. Wild, messy, and all over the place. Almost terrifying. He makes ur mom jokes and threatens to kill or hurt or fuck someone who's messing with him. He also learned how to do his own tatoos and piercings, thats why he has a new tattoo or piercing every month. He finds it fun and silly to be stabbing his ear and shoving a piercing through it, likes the sting cause it gives him adrenaline

And there's Pandora who says the most out of pocket shit. She has weird visions sometimes and seems to be everywhere and knows everything. And she's so incredibly calm while saying the wildest shit ever that it scares some people. People never hear her footsteps, and she just shows up randomly. Her voice is so calm and peaceful that it really doesn't fit her liking in scary creatures

Then Evan, who is just as off-putting as his sister. Unlike Barty, who is chaotic, he's more reserved and calm. But sometimes does creepy stuff and acts like it's normal. He is weirdly fascinated with disecting humans and animals. Also has a weird interest in teeth and dead animal corpses. He probably learned how to preserve them somehow. He has a like thing where dead butterflies are stuck to and he wakes up everyday to admire it as a way to start his day.

Dorcas has an interest in lucid dreaming and shifting and all things psychological. Sometimes she'll say stuff like "oh I sent a message to you in your dreams, you got it, right?" Most of the time, you probably won't get it, but it happens sometimes. Mostly to the slytherin Skittles and Marlene. She also learned to do nonverbal spells earlier in her years because it helps give her more control over her own mind. She has definitely learned and did research on why the imperius curse does what it does to its victims

And Regulus, though never to admit out loud, fucking loves astrology. He learned about it through Pandora, and since then he's been doing astrological readings. He just finds it cool how something like a time of birth, the position of a planet, the moon phase of your birth, and all can say a lot about a person.

Anyways it might not fit some characters but it's how I think of them and I love them this way cause imagine like Pandora walking up to Barty and say "certain plants can bloom above dead corpses" and Barty suggests that they have to see it happen for themselves

Or Dorcas coming up reg like "did you get my message?" And Regulus said "yeah, it's written in the stars that your relationship will go well don't worry and stop pestering me in my dreams"

Or Barty making a new piercing and Evan suggesting that he should make a piercing out of one of his insects legs and Barty was really close to doing it before Reg stopped them

Or Regulus catching squirrels for Pandora to keep in her little squirrel cage and have as a pet that'll probably die because Evan keeps feeding it the wrong food

Sometimes, the Skittles all get hurt except for Dorcas, and she says stuff like "yeah because the universe is protecting me. I'm their favourite mortal"

Barty getting slightly unsettled and maybe a bit flustered when he sees Evan so focused on learning how to use his new dissecting tool, just tweaking it here and there for his own liking yk

Regulus in a bad mood cause today's horoscope says that it's going to be shit.

Yeah they're weird

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

Look….more mommy hwa and more answered asks about Christopher being possessive and freaky…

I needed this thank you 🥹

Today is very very hard and I’m feeling a lot of hard feelings and life rn so overwhelming and confusing. I’m the type of person who’s got a hard shell but it’s made of like bulletproof armor on the outside but I’m v gooey and sensitive inside. I didn’t realize I needed some good brainrot inducing delulu soup to distract me so 🤌🏻 thank you

CW: WHORNY AF HARD THOTS AND DELULU SOUP

So Christopher *sigh* idk what I want to ask just my aqua sun6h/Scorpio moon3h/Leo rising/aqua Mercury 7h/sag Venus5h/Leo mars1h ass is like…………

Imagine him like soft dom but so so so into like corruption but not necessarily always meaning inexperienced partner, but maybe inexperienced in all the kinks and little taboos. I read him as wanting to break someone who’s normally very strong minded and kept together and so like very much Brat Tamer I guess. Like after he makes you cum on his mouth and then on his fingers, he wants to degrade you in the gentlest way and praise you, his voice saccharine, while he manhandles you and fucks you hard. You’re cock drunk and starting to cry a little from how good it feels and from the overstimulation. The type to make you tell him out loud what you want and where you want him and that you don’t want him to stop and make you beg him to cum and tell him how good he feels and that only he does that to you bc he’s possessive and he’s got an ego and needs you to need him in every way possible.

something about him and his Gemini rising tells me he might be good with his hands ~that might be my hand kink tho clouding my judgement(Gemini Lilith 😅) ~ *cough*cough*

ANYWAYS

He wants to break you open and make sure you can be that vulnerable and submissive to him and him only, also to know you at a very deep level. Whether you get to know him at that deep of a level is another story and depends on how deep he is in his fuckboy ways. He wants you a lady in the streets and HIS freak in the sheets. But he totally wants to corrupt you and his sag mars: he wants to try new shit with you and be adventurous and explore new kinks etc etc.

Every break down of this man’s chart has me like “oh yes pls, 😊. yes ma’am I’ll take one, where do I purchase this?”

And everyone’s like he’s this and that and potentially toxic in these ways and idk if I’m enamored by his Libra charm or what but I’m like “I can handle him, the question is actually ‘Can he handle me?’” and it’s very delulu but also I think that thought is kinda true. (hypothetically and astrologically speaking) In my little brainrot soup for the night 🥰

I can’t even begin on mommy Hwa and the gooey lovey mess he turns my brain into. Something about him is so tender but also like so so so so so freaky but like gentle but so fucking kinky? Idk that man + mommy kink + body worship + needy/clingy doms is so so so good. You’re one of my fav fic writers, and my fav mommy hwa enthusiast. Thank you for serving and thank you for your brain and thank you for the distraction on a hard day like today 🖤

Much appreciate, have a lovely rest of your week, and as always cool pillow on both sides for you!

I CANT PUT PICS IN ANONYMOUS ASKS WTF…. Fuck it I’ll go off anon for this

This is 🖤Anon on my side blog/lurk account 😅

I am ending tonight's 2 hour post of going through my asks with this absolute banger of an ask from @youre-alittle-taste-of-hell and also hi Izzy!

I'm Ruby! It's nice meeting you *hugs*

I understand how life can feeling overwhelming and frustrating when things don't go you way. I am also a golden retriever disguised as a black cat and us fire placements want love and care too.

I hope things get better for you <3

Imagine him like soft dom but so so so into like corruption but not necessarily always meaning inexperienced partner, but maybe inexperienced in all the kinks and little taboos.

This section has me feeling shit at 10:33 pm on a Tuesday afternoon while watching Chris D'Elia 'Man On Fire' on Netflix.

I just love how Bang Chan stans have silently agreed that Chan's corruption kink is fucking massive and do we have any physical evidence?

No-

But with his massive caregiver complex and Daddy kink, it kinda goes hand in hand.

I can just imagine that paragraph so vividly just him covered in sweat, his black hair sticking to the sides of his face and his mouth all shiny with spit and your cum just smirking at how fucked out you are, your eyes are beginning to cross and there's drool against the pillow.

'Don't black out on me yet baby girl, mmmh? Daddy still needs to cum'

OR...OR!!!

You're crying and sobbing against the pillow because he's edged you within an inch of your breath and the pressure is so tight it HURTS and your legs are spasming and face contorted with need as you just beg your pretty heart out.

'Please, I can't take it anymore, please make me cum, I'll do anything, please Daddy i just need it'

And then he would hover over you, wipe the drool from your mouth and press gentle kisses across your face as he pushes himself into you.

'See, that wasn't so hard wasn't it? Daddy will always reward my baby girl when she asks for something yeah?'

I also don't know how ppl enjoy being edged so severely man, I would tap out after 20 mins.

Overstimulation all the way for me.

Yeah, his Gemini Rising means he would be an exceptional kisser and great with his fingers.

His Libra stellium also means he has amazing stroke game but moving back to the kissing.

I feel like he would be a messy kisser (in a good way) like the loud smacking noises, drool and spit, definitely makes little sighs and noises of satisfaction in between kisses.

When Chan leaves his fuckboi era, sex would be incredibly emotionally intimate because he loves and adores how he sees you in a way no one does.

I have this thought that sex with Bang Chan could be so intimate, you would both end up crying and not in a dacryphilia way but in a 'i fucking love you so much and it's so emotional' way.

As much as Bang Chan likes fucking, he enjoys making love more.

And here's the thing right, Bang Chan's frontal lobe has developed so he doesn't even has the neurological excuse of 'well his brain is not fully developed yet' because NOW IT IS.

Also, your placements are low-key intimidating because wow, they are powerful.

I think Bang Chan would like the challenge of being able to handle you.

Seonghwa is definitely freaky and kinky and is very hardcore, he likes it hard, he likes it rough, he prefers a jackhammering pace (which is a bit of an ick of me because that doesn't sound enjoyable but okay).

I think the reason why jackhammering gives me an ick is because rough and fast doesn't always mean good okay?

I think a slow but deep and firm pace is better because you can get a better angle and hit the right spot every time.

But I also understand that some ppl like being treated like a battering ram during sex and that is also okay.

He would give you brilliant aftercare and reassurance though and that's what matters.

Thank you for the thirst my sweet, I will gobble this up and use this as my fantasy thoughts for sleep tonight.

Yum yum.

[twistedastrology]

hi. yap to me. about your chart. and tell me what you think about other placements PLEASE!!

god bless u omg ok lemme break it down 4 u

why im built like that: a yapping session abt my own chart

ok so firts things first we gotta go thru my absolute pride and joy- this is the placement that when i discovered it in my baby astrologer era i was like Omg thats so cool what-

we got mars and saturn in my 1st house ur honor (unless in whole sign houses in which case saturn is in my 2nd 💔)

i always loved saturn as a planet before i got into astrology n then i came 2 love it even more and this bad boy in my 1st house is why i am so petrified of losing who i am!!!! and my mars i think just makes me very energetic and driven tbh amongst many other things

ofc these 2 are largely responsible for a lot in my chart but that's the basics of what they do-

SECOND THING'S SEOCNDN-

my other pride and joy, my mercury in gemini 💞💞💞💞

i love mercury SO much and despite it largely being the reason for my adhd, it absolutely dominates my chart (along with my outer planets) and is so powerful that it colors my sun more gemini than taurus (especially since i literally dont have any other earth placement except for my lilith in virgo- im all water/fire/air 🙏🙏)

in whole sign houses it would be also be in my 12th house which makes so much sense for me bc i will psychoanalyze Everyone to an ungodly degree because i love learning how people fundamentally work and how things influence them- this and my jupiter in scorpio + moon/neptune in my 8th house is the reason for my love of psychology-

THIRD THISNGS THIRD-

my outer planets 🥰🥰🥰🥰

i was born in the pre shadow period of uranus retrograde btw so while i strongly feel the effects of it being in pisces, i also feel the effects of if it was in my 8th house-

uranus and neptune are both direct in my chart and they're also in mutual reception so they have a LOOOOOT of power in my chart especially if u read my neptune post where i said neptune actually rules cancer (and the moon rules pisces) bc then neptune is given more power via my cancer rising-

my pluto is actually In retrograde so i often have to read pluto in 5th house stuff bc i feel it way more than pluto in 6th house stuff- and like i said in my jupiter post that got fucking obliterated by god for some reason, my pluto is actually conjunct Sagittarius A* (the galaxy's black hole) with only a difference of 51 minutes, and it's in mutual reception with my jupiter in scorpio so there's a lOT going on there 💔💔💔

that pluto tho and probably jupiter too tbh is why whenever im doing something creative whether it be editing or writing or one of the other 5 billion things i do, i usually feel like i turn into some sort of conduit for something WAY bigger than myself and all my cancer energy amplifies it and makes whatever i do also have a very cathartic property to it!!!

4TH THSINSGS FORUTH

since ive been super into astrology ive also looked at my mom's chart like 1 billion times and mine too and what i find fascinating is that she's a capricorn rising and i have saturn in my 1st house, and she has mars in cancer and venus in aries just like i do, but her mars is conjunct her descendant line just like mine is conjunct my ascendant line-

she's also saturn ruled as hell but she's an aries sun/mercury and u would THINK we would hate each other but no we literally have an unbreakable bond- i know the usual idea of like a capricorn mom vs a cancer child is Not Great but her and i make me wonder otherwise 😭😭😭

5YH THINGS FIFTH-

i have some extremely slay aspects ur honor- I like 2 think anyway-

my fav aspects i have are:

- mercury sextile saturn

- uranus trine ascendant

- sun conjunct mercury

and despite it being a hard aspect and a hard 10° orbit aspect,

- sun square neptune

even tho it's within 10° i still feel a Looot of influence from that one- i am a little delusional sometimes but my saturn in 1st does a good job of maintaining it and bringing me down to earth, but in my astrologer's handbook (my fav book 💔💔) it says, and i quote, "a well developed mercury and saturn will do much to offset the negative effects of this square" and i have both of those ur honor God bless holy shit id be off my FUCK without those 2 planets-

but then it continues and says "very often peculiar emotional desires and romantic tendencies are indicated, which can range from platonic love to the most morbid and debased physical type of sensuality." which THAT part i feel immensely- Nobody should ever look in my brain please 4 the love of god for ur sake n mine dont do it thwnk u-

But that's also probably bc i got the pluto influence right bc my neptune is in my 8th house- which btw im p sure pluto is exalted in Aquarius but i can get into that in another post probably-

6TH THSINGS SSIXTH

my uranus trine ascendant also loves to make me weird as fuck- i am a very peculiar individual and my mercury in an aries degree of Gemini also makes me yap Constantly bro i am the yapatron 5000- that (and my chiron in aquarius 💔) is why i have like a whole 1 friend that genuinely appreciates my yapping- him and my mom (my mom and i yap together tho HAHAHA)

my chiron in aquarius tho hit fucking Hard when i was a wee lad and still kinda does but im workin on it ur honor- i just never felt accepted and never Was accepted in friend groups and stuff and it was only until i started going with my north node in aries that i started actually being able to socialize and stuff- bc i legitimately thought "fuck it im just gonna be weird as fuck and whoever likes me for it will like me for Me and not some dumb shit-"

basically weeding out the losers fr-

7TH THINGSS SEVENETH-

btw i hope everytime anyone has read the 1ST THINGS 1ST or whatever they read it in the tone of believer by imagine dragons like that one tiktok audio of like "1st thing's 1st!!!! 2nd thing's 3rd!!! First seocnd third thing's third???" ANAYYWAY-

if u read my cancers n rage post too ull know where im comin from w/this but my cancer rising + mars in cancer gives me this unfathomable rage that legitimately makes my blood feel like it's physically boiling, my heart starts pounding and i get SO shaky- that's only when im super pissed But with the mars energy i literally have to get it out via moshing 2 korn DUDE HAHAHHAHAAH OMG THAT REMINDS ME-

speaking of!!!! i was strugglin real bad like a couple weeks ago now right and i put my earbuds in and listened to chi and to this D A Y. i cannot listen to that song without getting that ungodly rage dude it's diabolical But i literally lost my shit so hard that day i think had i been standing and not doubled over on the floor for my own safety, i woulda broken my knee again (another story i have 🥰🥰)

i did howveer almost fuck up my nose by slamming my face into the floor a little But we're good!!!!! i get very physical 💔 i have so many injuries ive given myself bc of that insane amount of energy i have i could make a list dude it's devious-

God bless u jonathan davis 😭😭😭😭💞💞💞

genuinely tho i aint ever heard more honest 2 god screams that spoke to me THAT much like god DAMN

ANYWAY im silly my bad guys-

8TH THSING'S 8TH-

i tHIK that's it- i could probably go into more detail abt specific things but this is like an overview SO 🙏🙏🙏

thank u for readig my yapping sesison UHHHHMMMMMMMMMMM 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[tallymali]

can i just say thank u for the nuanced feminism here 😅 i feel like ive had to fight lately to assert that i do in fact wear heels for myself, i just like em, or the same for pursuing breast implants, or other things like

women can make their own decisions too yo, it doesnt all have to be pressure/coersion/whateverthefuck

no one questions when my hair is a different color, or that theres new ink/piercings in my skin...if i gotta live in this meatsuit at least let me fuck with it lol

sorry, this ended up turning into a rant lol

anyway, ur cool ✌️

dont be sorry i love this!! and tbh this doesnt even feel like nuanced feminism so much as like..i just dont like seeing other “progressives” trying to do astrology with ultimately very trivial aspects of womens lives. ive seen it go the other way where women who arent feminine get accused of being pick me/nlog/not a girls girl. like did she actually say any of that or are these people creating fanfic about someone who is just having interests and minding her damn business? i guess its the weird hyperfixation that everything we do is for the “male gaze” and sending some kind of subliminal message rather than acknowledging us as normal people doing normal stuff that gets me

[farfromstrange]

Can I ask why you choose green for your tattoo? And the constellations? I think it looks super cool! I’m always into space tattoos!

Thank you so much!! And ofc, I’ll gladly answer that 🫶🏻

I chose green because it’s my mom’s and my favorite color. I was hoping she might have a different favorite than mine so I could play around with a little more color, but when I asked her, she told me it’s green, so I asked my tattoo artist to figure something out 🤣 Anyway! I kept seeing so many zodiac/star sign tattoos all over Pinterest, and I really liked the idea of getting my mom’s and mine tattooed permanently on my skin (like you, I love space tattoos!!) so I asked my artist to merge them, and that’s what she came up with.

Fun fact: it’s also on my left side because that’s where my heart is and my mom is one of the most important people in my life. She’s like a blotch of color in my life. That sounds very philosophical, but that’s basically the idea behind the tattoo. She loves to draw (she’s a very talented artist but won’t admit it to herself) and that’s why I wanted to get one in a watercolor/aquarelle style to represent her, and then the constellations for myself because I’m into astrology and I’m also very spiritual in general.

Thank you so much for asking! My artist really did a fucking incredible job, and I’m proud of how it turned out.

[sabweenie]

hiromi higuruma [unofficial] official birthday

turns out Higuruma doesn't have an official birthday, so I spent the last three and a half hours looking through astrological charts from 1982 to come up with his Unofficially Official birthday. I am by no means an astrology expert, but I had an intense phase in high school and feel like I know enough to provide some decent justification for this. If I'm like, horrendously off on something here you can message me about it or something. Anyways, I'm pretty confident going with May 7th 1982 at 12:27 AM...

taurus sun

I was really indecisive about whether to give him a Scorpio or Taurus sun, but I think the Taurus sun was better for capturing his stubbornness and groundedness. A fixed sign was for sure the way to go. Thinking about when he said he will be going back to his "roots" and his immovable dedication to what he believes in (justice) felt fitting.

gemini mercury

Had to step back for a moment after I came up with this one and take a breather because damn! Chefs kiss! This placement especially paired with that Taurus sun makes him the most annoying motherfucker ever (I love him). I read a lot about how people who have this Gemini Mercury placement are extremely doubtful and very suspiciuos, and have a really hard time getting behind anything unless there's solid proof to convince him. I though this was perfect especially given how his domain expansion is built for this exactly! I also read that people with this placement are super smart, and this checks out given Higuruma is described as a genius.

scorpio moon

Since I figured a Taurus sun would be more fitting for him, I decided to give him a Scorpio moon placement instead. And I feel like I made the right choice. Scorpio moons are extremely perceptive, quick to notice changes in those around him. But what is most True in my opinion is how this characterization falls in line with how Higuruma puts his 100% into everything he applies himself to. I think his Scorpio moon and Gemini mercury combined are the Perfect justification for why he challenges himself by taking on the most impossible of legal cases. I also read about how in relationships, this placement expresses itself as being really into commitment, and also with a huge fear or betrayal. The issues regarding betrayal are huge in Higuruma's character, given the way he reacted when he was betrayed by the legal justice system after losing Oe's case. So, I think it would definitely make sense if these issues were also present when it comes to his interpersonal relationships.

aries venus

I'm... to shy to talk about this right now. Just trust me. I'm right about this.

aquarius rising

Giving Higuruma an Aquarius rising was a requirement from the start, and was the initial building block for all this madness. I have a hard time believing that any other ascendant placement will put that much effort into creating such a Strange first impression on the next random person they meet (yes, I am talking about the bathtub spotlight stage set up). I thought of a Leo rising maybe, but a cardinal rising just didn't feel right for him. My first impressions of the guy were 1) what a weirdo and 2) he's so fucking cool. He's very concerned with what the world should look like and how things should be (thinking about how curious he was about how the Culling Game would play out and how it would change the world) and these things all fit into my understanding of Aquarius risings. It just works.

that's all.

[dhampiravidi]

❛  do  you  have  any  idea  how  good  you  taste ?  ❜ (from Pogue @in--noctem to Jayn- Sorry, I'm on the wrong blog right now so I'm sending on anon xD)

Like any Virgo worth their astrological sign, Jayn had planned for the occasion. She got rid of 80% of the hair below her waist, using depilatory to remove most of it from her legs & butt, before going in with a careful razor to artfully get the rest. She showered not long before her boyfriend came over that afternoon, scrubbing a bit harder than usual to murder any possible odors. Her teeth were obviously brushed, but she chewed two pieces of gum as well. Jayn wore her black matching set of underwear (just a comfy-not-torn bra & panties), plus a bit of perfume & an outfit she could easily slip out of.

She'd learned from her first 1st time with Pogue. Now she was ready for her second. There would be no awkward fumbling, no shy pauses & absolutely NO UNSEXY THINGS on her part. Ok so, maybe it made her nervous that her boyfriend (her only one of those that she'd ever had), who had a decent amount of experience with women way more gorgeous than herself, had agreed to a request that SHE had made. That request was for him to go down on her, one of the few acts of physical affection that they had not yet participated in.

It was about 10 miles from Pogue's house to Caleb's, since they were sort of on opposite sides of town. But Pogue had to go from the garage in town to his house, then to Caleb's, so--

[from: Pogue] Just changed. Coming for ya' babe 😘

Then she was panicking. He was coming. She couldn't back out--he was already on the road, on his bike, so he wouldn't be able to get to his phone even if she called or texted. And if she chickened out when Pogue showed up, he'd coddle her & try to comfort her. He wouldn't see her as his strong, hot girlfriend, he'd see her as a kid (yes, even though she was only a year younger than him).

She was in the bathroom trying to get the swelling down after a worried crying session--so she didn't hear Pogue come in. He had a key, since he'd been Caleb's best friend for forever. That meant he was right there waiting for her, lying on her bed with a smirk. One that faded the moment he saw her red-rimmed eyes.

"Baby--" He got up with a start, like he was doing one of those cursed Burpees* & was in her space in seconds, cradling her face. "Are you OK? What's wrong?"

"I-I'm fine," Jayn said, though it came out shakier than she wanted. She pecked him on the lips to try & reassure him, but Pogue was always so good at reading her. That was part of why they worked. "...I just got a little nervous--but I'm fine! You don't have to worry about me, I'm ready!"

"Jay--"

"No! I can do this! I'm ready!" He smiled softly.

"You said that..." He moved his hands to her hips & nuzzled into her neck. "How was your day?" he asked, gently swaying with her.

Oh. She hadn't even thought about just being with him that afternoon, getting to see the love of her life when she wasn't studying or writing essays, he wasn't working or swimming & neither of them had classes. Of course, they'd see each other when their friends all hung out together...but this was special. Even if it wasn't some big relationship milestone.

She beamed up at him. "It was alright. Nothing amazing. But my Sociology class was pretty cool--apparently there's some scale that compares every part of how a country's people interact. Anyway, how was yours?" Pogue's expression turned bashful, which was a rare look for him.

"Pretty good."

"What happened?" she asked, suspicious (though she was grinning).

"I got in trouble."

"What? How?" Pogue smirked, hands slowly running up & down her sides. Fuck. He always knew how to excite Jayn.

He tucked his head back into the crook of her neck, just to whisper, "Couldn't stop thinkin' about you...wasn't focused, so my boss made me take the day...would've been here, but I know you had class..." Her face was heating up & certain parts of her started to ache. Jayn exhaled shakily, right before Pogue kissed the shit out of her. She moaned against him, hands grabbing at his t-shirt. That was when he knew she was ready.

They were on the bed & naked in a matter of minutes.

"God, you're beautiful," he gushed, staring up at her from where he rested between her legs. She was also trembling slightly, but thankfully, Pogue didn't mention that. "Jay...you wanna close your eyes for me?" She did, biting her lip.

The first time his tongue touched her there, she whimpered, unused to the feeling. Then he licked all the way from the bottom to the top & she nearly screamed.

"S-sorry, I-"

"D'you have any idea how good you taste? Goddamn, babygirl."

He made her cum in all of 39 seconds. & that was just the first time.

*A Burpee is when you drop down as if doing a push-up, but then you immediately come back up & jump--then do it ALL OVER AGAIN 💀

[imjustli]

Spoilers for UFO Sweden:

I know nobody else is as obsessed with it as I am but I just need to positively rant a little

Idk how to add cuts on mobile so this is your last warning.

So first of all: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHVFESFUOTDFFYDYITSI5SDOTYFLYLFHLCYLTK.

Second off all:

Denise is such a fucking asshole holy shit. Like I know she has a redemption arc but does she have to kill someone first? I know Tomi doesn't die but she fucking should have. Mats and Lennart also should have, but Lennart isn't 100% her fault and she probably didn't realise how fucking close Mats was. She should have though. She definitely should have. The worst part is, I could absolutely see some teenagers acting the exact same way in certain scenarios.

With that said. The characters are realistic. Or like a parody of realistic. I'm not sure how to explain this but Astrology Queen Karl-Tefat absolutely fit the tone of the movie. He's an insane character but I would not be surprised if someone falls too far down the astrology-hole and ends up a crazy tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist. Maybe not that crazy though. Also he has the best quote in the entire movie. "I prefer tea anyways." So fucking badass. You will have to watch it to understand why this is badass. (This is for the people that completely ignored my warnings and read this post anyways.)

Töna my beloved. Chainsmoker and just. I love her. If I didn't have an amazing mom I would want her. Sure, she's a conspiracy theorist, but she's sweet and cool and just amazing. And also I guess she was right. Ish.

Lennart is a dad friend. Not much more I can say to describe my feelings about him as a character. I love him though, don't get me wrong. And the fact that Denise basically switches her actual dad for him means a lot to me. I mean, her dad made it pretty clear he planned to leave her there alone, so I get it. But it makes me sad, because when he left first he made it seem like the reason he wanted her to stay was to keep her safe, and maybe it still was, maybe that's why he was an asshole, because he wanted her to go back. Fuck I just thought of this now. My thoughts intended to go to "he never cared about her and about how she hated being alone" but no. Maybe he did care about her and he prioritised her safety remover her comfort and feelings for him.

Mats is also a great character. I just love him. I don't have much to say, he's just weird. And I love him for it. But he looks so normal compared to the rest of them. Lovely man.

Third of all:

I love how the national wheather measurement system is the reason UFOs believed in. Like guys. Aliens? Gravity being weird? Is that really more believable than it just being wrong sometimes? Apparently they're right though so now I'm questioning myself.

[tayne-dot-exe]

Ok for the "whimsical decor" room of my neocities (link from rose gif on main, soon I'm gonna make links that look like doors looking into the rooms) where one chunk is kinda witchy/astrological, and the next is beach/mermaid stuff, I have added all the items I specifically searched for and all the good candidates that were already in my pinterest boards, but I still feel like I could do more pinterest searching for stuff that fits... just trying to avoid relying just on seashells glued together and literal depictions of mermaids, and a lot of the blue fabric with gold astrological detail stuff is articles of clothing that I don't want to add straight up. I also wanna do another "mounted bug" display for bugs and butterflies that I think have fairylike wings. The next things I'm working on is I want to add pics of all the foods I like to my main page because I have problems where I forget any foods I like to eat and I want pics that make stuff look really good plus I could put links for my own personal shopping cart or add recipes for the ones that I cook myself, but I'm having trouble deciding like how I want to translate this to the room layout, I'm kinda thinking of putting everything on the same dish or bowl once I isolate them for consistency, or maybe jars like a pantry, or like a charcuterie board, but they cant fit too close together cos im just gonna lay them out in rows individually on the site. So I'm prob gonna spend a lot of today just looking up the best pics I can find of different foods if anyone wants to add me on discord and just chill with me on half a gummy doing that lmao

I'm also trying to add a room thats just terrible items, in a gradient from really flashy kickstarter tech renderings that either would never be made or should never, to fucked up redneck engineering. This is kind of a thesis antithesis of how for years when I played all the house decor games that inspired this, I would always felt like I needed to dedicate this virtual space to a kitchen in bathroom even in games where you can't use them for gameplay, and I had no feelings on making them interesting looking rooms I just wanted the idea of minimal function. But I also have a strong urge to collect and I hate irl clutter and spending money, which is a lot of the energy I'm getting out with this site, so this is kind of the thesis-antithesis from freeing myself from pretending a fake space needs to remind me of real functions, to only representing things where the function is ridiculous. A lot of kitchen appliances but also I love this era of tech renderings when smartphones were just taking hold and everyone was excited about what would be "next" but many were very inspired by iphone and would represent items having apps in ways that just wouldn't make sense that you could even use them. This also would give me a great place to put my "food crimes" pics that I've collected for a long time, and I can put up a lot more eclectic things as framed pictures in a weird room like this.

Anyway I'm prob gonna just b looking for cool pics and making things transparent all day maybe tomorrow too so feel free to hit me up for a discord call even if we aren't mutuals or haven't talked before.