#anyway i kind of like. need him. no one irl cares about me that much i need to feel loved by someone i need to feel cared about

[synthetic-sonata]

one day ill post my pokemon games + spinoffs tierlist that im slowly chipping away at and have been since, like, june or july . but i dont think people are ready

[genderqueerdykes]

hi, im on partially diy hrt for nearly a year. i do not leave in the usa btw.

i buy the drugs from just some guy who deals it, i learned about him from one of my trans male friends, if you want to start diy hrt really consider asking if someone in your community does it also. i live in a country where lgbt+ and transitioning is practically outlawed, but there is still community out there, especially in big cities (over 1m people).

but if he dissapears i turn to resources for cis bodybuilders. idk it's pretty googleable, ive checked. again, always ask people in your country.

check your local laws, where i live buying t illegally isnt punished if the drug is bought from your country (its not contraband) and you do not plan to sell it. in this case if someone IS going to be punished, its your dealer.

for safety: check the ingredients of what's your buying, in the best case you should buy a drug that is the exact same as in drug stores, also ask what other people in your shoes are usually buying.

also if you can - buy in bulk. rn me and my partner have 9 months worth of t on our hands. this way you have more time to find other dealer if yours dissapears, and also it's much cheaper often.

also gel is generally WAY EASIER to buy without a prescription (even though you need it on paper)! many drug stores don't ask for a prescription to buy it, and you can go to multiple of them. also if you preorder it online and only go to the drug store to pick it up they are less likely to ask for the prescription. it's all still not 100%, but at least you don't have to look for a dealer or a bodybuilder website

needles are usually pretty cheap and do not require a prescription in a drug store. if you NEED to make something up why you need them - some of the common pain killers come in the form of injections

so, about the blood tests and stuff like that!

personally, i consult with an endocrinologist approximately onse a year, but i don't have any complications. you can make a visit online with a t friendly endocrinologist from another country - this won't show on any of your medical records and doesn't bare any legal weight. this way they can't write you a prescription, but thos us about diy hrt anyway.

ask about what tests you need to have done beforehand!

you can do all the tests in a private clinic and not tell them anything about your trans status. mostly they don't care. it costs money, but its more safe

but also you can tell some bullshit in the government clinic so they prescribe you some of the tests, at least the most general stuff. if they prescribe you to return with the results or go to an endocrinologist - you can just ignore that and JUST NOT GO. they are most probably very busy and understaffed, they dont care.

you should find a general guide to what levels of what you generally should have. id link what i use, but its all in a language other then english.

generally all of the things should be in the norm, except for testosterone and estradiol. prolactin should be in the norm.

of course it varies a lot and might be different for you if you have other health stuff going on, that's the reason you should consult with a doctor if you can. but it is possible on your own.

i really think people are way too scared of diy t many times. this therapy is often very straightforward, and there ARE ways to do it, you can even consult with a doctor while transitioning illegally. where i live transitioning, whether legal or medical is outlawed, but plenty people do it anyway. be careful and midfull, but go for it

sorry if my english isnt very good, i don't use it irl and its my second language

thank you so much for your help and don't worry, your english is plenty good for this kind of thing! thank you for all the help, if you think of any more information you wish to share feel free to ask!

[ellecdc]

Okay literally stop I didn't know i needed this until you said it

chef!sirius deserves atleast headcanon level recognition omg

*makes grabby hands at his homemade pasta*

-🩷

hahahaha I LOVE chef!sirius I think about him almost constantly and poor @maladaptiveescapism has to deal with me constantly bombarding her with my thoughts of him (but it is also her own fault so.....there's that)

also, she was the original requester of our chef!sirius one shot (that I'm dying to turn into SOMETHING if my shit-for-brain's brain would cooperate with me) so it only made sense I go to her for help with our.....

Chef Sirius Headcanons:

as discussed in his one-shot:

he's absolutely dubbed a hardass at work [and maybe irl by his friends/family]

he started in the food-industry as a kid when Euphemia and Fleamont took him in - he knew they would provide anything he could possibly want/need, but he didn't want to rely on them or feel like a burden

he worked his way up in the industry, from washing dishes to bussing tables to hosting to serving to a line cook, before another chef took him under their wing and taught him everything they knew; he had saved enough to go to culinary school and made a name for himself

moving on:

he swears a lot [we all sort of head canon sirius TO swear a lot anyway, so chef!sirius swears more]

still covered in tattoos

smokes a lot but also hates the way it smells (especially when he's working around food - also doesn't want the lingering taste in his mouth to impede his taste testing abilities) so he carries mints around a lot [and then maybe starts carrying your favourite gum, in case you want some and because it reminds him of you]

he's constantly calling everyone an imbecile etc in the kitchen but is all soft pet-names with you, which freaks everyone else the fuck out

as seen in the one-shot, reader often teases him by calling him "chef", but when you dare call him Sirius, everyone tenses and waits with bated breath for him to explode (which obviously never comes) because he is very much a "yes, chef!" kinda bloke

love language = acts of service, the only way he knows how to show he cares is through his actions. that usually comes in the form of feeding you, but with mixologist reader, he's often popping over at the bar asking "how's my best girl doing?" and setting diff plates of food and snacks during your shift to make sure you're eating and staying hydrated

driving you home is also big on his list; refuses to let you walk home after close even if your place is in the exact opposite direction of his, he will drive you home. He'll even find reasons to stay at work late (or volunteer to close) just so he can drive you home

because he's so short on time in general running his own kitchen, D suggested him having some really long-running mindless TV show he has running in the background almost always. D suggested Golden Girls which mixologist!reader would absolutely find hilarious [big scary chef!sirius watching his golden ladies every evening], I think Full House would be one too because he likes seeing a loving family in action, and maybe the Simpsons because it's also long, colourful, funny, and mindless entertainment

I think he struggles to believe that he actually deserves the things he's worked so hard for? D mentioned him waving you off re: driving you home because he explains it away like paying it forward/good karma. but he also feels like he owes someone something, like he needs to give back the way that Effie and Monty gave to him

we also decided he'd have another hands-on/crafty hobby he likes to do when he's not working, and I have always loved a Sirius who does pottery - I mean, how perfect is chef!sirius eating/drinking from his own home-made one-of-a-kind pottery dishes etc??? the second you compliment him on them, he's making you your own set (or asking if you want to bring that exact mug home with you)

task and goal-oriented - almost to the point of a dog with a bone; you have to physically stop him or remind him to take a break or have a drink/eat because he becomes so engrossed in what he is doing....especially if it's something for you. (you complain one day about needing to reconfigure your living room and he is over at your flat just rehanging pictures, moving furniture, whatever and he will not stop until it's done)

as always, he's a huge flirt (menacingly so) but, with the nature of mixologist!reader's job, so is she so she absolutely gives it right back to him

for as big of a hardass as chef!sirius is, he's also so family-oriented and the BIGGEST team-player: his staff is his family and he's loyal to a fault -> for as much shit he gives them, he is always looking out for them and making sure they're well staffed and taken care of, and he values each and every member of his staff equally knowing very well that each member is required for it to run smoothly (he's played every role a kitchen has to offer, he takes none of them for granted)

how this works in a relationship:

acts of service: running you a bath / coming home with some plate made for you regardless if you've already eaten or not / somehow a professional handyman? he is fixing everything in your apartment - leaky faucet, replacing shower heads, changing light bulbs, hanging pictures/fixtures ETC / making you your own pottery/art for your apartment (you keep complaining about dropping/losing your rings? he's going to show up with a trinket tray that he made for you)

sometimes jokes that you're the only person he can stand to be around (since you're the only one he can't really bring himself to scold/yell at) but it's really only because he's a soft boy for you

thinks you're the best thing he's ever tasted...... ;) ;) ;) & if he's a chef by day, you bet he's a professional eater by night.........................................

I think fights could get intense because Sirius is just an intense person but I honestly don't see them ever lasting very long because he's so sensitive and so down bad that seeing you hurt or upset is pretty much the worst thing imaginable to him and he's quickly trying to find ways to correct it

takes a while for him to admit (or perhaps even realize) how down bad he is for you, but once he does....good luck shaking him

BEST HOMEMADE SOUP FOR WHEN YOU'RE SICK -> he's very teasing about it and constantly laughing at how pathetic you are but also sooooo dutiful in his care for you

[yuri-is-online]

omg... we talk about yuu here?? we love yuu here???

I could talk about yuu forever, they're infinitely more interesting than any of the boys to me (not sorry). I know for a lot of people yuu is just kind of their pawn for this epic fantasy world and they don't even think about the ramifications, but me personally I would descend into insanity if I got isekai'd into magical teenage boy hell. deep down I know this freak is traumatized to the nines and likely severely depressed.

one of the most important things about yuu's character is that they feel helpless. they can't perform magic in a world that's almost completely reliant on it, for one. as you've pointed out, they have no true autonomy. they have no government documentation, no family, nowhere to go, hell, they're not even a full student. they have no real hope of going home, and most of the nrc boys don't even seem to particularly care about that (if anything, I assume a lot of them would selfishly want yuu to stay, regardless of yuu's own wishes). the rules of this world are still unclear to them, and people don't really seem to acknowledge that.

can you imagine how lonely that existence would be? sure, people like yuu. they have friends. but as you've pointed out, no one (with the exception of adeuce, maybe) really seems to care about how things effect them specifically. yuu is manipulated, exploited, physically hurt and almost killed like, a bunch of times, bullied, harassed, and on top of everything, completely helpless to it. despite having friends who supposedly care about them, no one really seems to think about yuu's feelings on magic and the multiple life-threatening incidents they've experienced in their short time at nrc. as someone who has ptsd, I can't imagine that yuu would walk out of all that completely mentally unscathed.

as you've pointed out before, yuu is treated like any other student. their experiences and circumstances are never really taken into consideration, and they're expected to just... go along with things like everyone else. sure, equality is nice, but that doesn't really help yuu's case. yes, realistically, yuu is not totally helpless but good lord someone needs to help them out. someone needs to empathize with them, and defend them, and at least try a little to help them navigate this terrifying reality they've been expected to... just adjust to with no help. with their lack of autonomy, they're pretty much at the complete mercy of the people around them. yuu is lonely and I stand by that.

and on top of all of this, they have a massive amount of responsibility dumped on them constantly. yuu is a sort of mediator. they solve problems, usually ones that other people create, and never really by their own will. they arguably live in pretty shitty conditions and have no way of making money. they have to not only babysit grim (bless him tho), but also literally everyone else, while also trying to keep their own shit together. I mean, they're still technically a student. and a mini-housewarden. and crowley's errand runner. and they just got here a few months ago. psh.

yuu feels helpless, but they aren't treated as such, and so no one really extends a helping hand without ulterior motives. as much as ace and deuce want to help, they're also teenage boys and have their own tiny worlds to attend to. while people can be nice, no one seems to really want to understand, or care, about yuu's mental health.

anyway. I love the boys but in my heart I know that my yuu wouldn't be able to handle all that. me irl already deals with feelings of loneliness and crushing responsibility and misunderstanding and helplessness. twst is not a choose your own adventure type game and the tiny choices yuu gets to make don't really affect the story (which is oddly symbolic).

but like, listen. if I was zapped to another universe where I'm completely alone at a school full of teenage boys, most of which who couldn't care less if I lived or died, and one day I was sent on a trip to a city that painfully reminded me of home and some catholic-coded freak started being really considerate and empathetic to me for no other reason besides just liking me and genuinely being appalled at my circumstances, I would help him destroy magic. idc. I wouldn't even think twice about it. I stand by the idea that rollo feels some kind of affection for yuu. this would affect all of the diasomnia book because I would literally not want to leave and they'd have to drag me out of fleur city screaming and crying and clawing at the floor. poor malleus would be crushed.

anyway. haven't caught up to diasomnia yet so I may be way off. feel free to answer this or not! sorry for my weird english byebye!! love your posts

Yes we talk about Yuu here! They're the goat and I am so sorry I took forever to respond to your ask! Your English is wonderful you just had so much to say I had to really think on it σ(￣、￣=)

>deep down I know this freak is traumatized to the nines and likely severely depressed.

I think this is a very reasonable assumption to make about Yuu. While how well they take being isekaid to "magical teenage boy hell" (that's such a funny way to put it) is something up to each player's interpretation I like to write Yuu as being prone to bouts of longing for their own world, if for nothing else than wanting to feel something familiar to them. Which you point out in the rest of your ask!

I think one of the reasons people loved Rollo so much is that he was finally someone who acknowledged all those little things about Yuu's situation that we wanted to see talked about. He is someone we can realistically sympathizing with Yuu's situation and would treat them with a degree of care the other boys might not notice they needed. I have... played around with some AU stuff for him in my spare time and the conclusion I have come to is that I think he would try to avoid asking for Yuu to help him in his plan to destroy magic. He wouldn't want them to be implicated, and his plan is a sort of personal penance for his inability to save his brother. The idea that someone would want to help him, let alone someone as perfect as Yuu, isn't really something that would cross his mind. Besides, I don't think he would trust Yuu to help him immediately, he doesn't know them all that well at the start of GloMas.

Mental health tends not to be something focused on in isekai stories. I do think that our limited choices (i agree it is fittingly symbolic) have shown a Yuu who is slowly starting to feel the lack of control they have over their situation and are starting to feel stress over it. Ace says that he wants Yuu to be able to go home, as does Deuce, but I do think they both would be equally as happy if Yuu got to stay. They enjoy their friendship and love them a lot, if the story happened in more of a vacuum I could see both Ace and Deuce picking up on Yuu needing the extra support, but with how many things have happened over our school year they haven't had much time to sit and think to themselves about... much of anything really. But that doesn't exclude Yuu from feelings of loneliness or isolation; some of the most painful types of both is when you are surrounded to people and yet still feel unable to scream.

As for Malleus... well these aren't Diasomnia spoilers but if I understand his platinum jacket card correctly he can't stand seeing other people be happy when he isn't so. If Yuu were genuinely happy in Fleur City and he was left alone... oh he'd be so unhappy about that he would be beyond crushed.

[paviastrashyrings]

can i request a horropedia x reader with the “rude to everyone but loving to their partner” trope? (reader is the rude one)🫶🏻 male reader if possible

More of the lovely Nerdy Nerd? How could i possibly say no. Thank you for your submission and it is absolutely my pleasure to serve you. (side note: could not be more on the nail for how i am irl)

Without further ado, dear readers, lets get into another dream with Horropedia.

You were...rough around the edges, so to speak. Uncaring and cold towards most people.

If someone touched you, you'd snap at them. If someone came at you with an attitude, you'd match it.

Everyone associated with you was used to your foul mouth and bad mood.

Except one person, of course.

He had never understood why everyone spoke so poorly of your behavior until he witnessed first hand how "grouchy" you were with others.

"Hes not so bad." he'd try to defend you, scratching the back of his head with a sheepish smile.

"Dude he literally insulted me to my face because I bumped into him." one coworker recalls, angered by the mere memory.

It wasnt like you were trying to be mean, people just dont have spatial awareness.

They were right there.

Nothing pushed them into you.

They didn't even trip.

They just were dumb and didn't look where they were going. That's on them.

He would listen to you recall your side of the story, your tone soft and even because it was him.

"We really gotta work on your...people skills." he hums, but in complete honesty he was impressed how you were so able to stand your ground.

One day, someone decided to really push their luck. Yapping about how annoying "that weirdo, horropedia or whatever that guys name is" was.

Safe to say you were pissed, and he was in their direct vicinity too.

once you noticed that he was RIGHT THERE being spoken ill about?

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" you spat with malice, turning around so fast people would assume you were facing them the whole time.

You went off of them, until Joshua stepped in, equally shocked but also mildly amused by the expression on the culprits face.

"woah hey, no need to get angry." There was full and ardent need to get angry, they just insulted him to his face and he was just gonna take that? hell no, not on your damn watch.

He turns around and politely apologizes to the culprit, "So sorry about that, hes trying to work on his temper.."

He guides you away, still secretly impressed by your anger. Nobody really ever defended him like that, especially in front of a whole establishment full of people.

"I mean seriously can you believe them? Talking shit about you like that in front of you?" you'd start almost as soon as the culprit was out of earshot, just to keep him happy. You wouldn't have cared if they had heard you, you already spat so much profanity in their direction anyways.

"You know it happens all the time, I'm not exactly a stranger to it." which you couldn't understand. How does he tolerate such blatant disrespect, I mean sure he's a little strange and nerdy but that doesn't hurt anyone.

"Yeah but you don't deserve that, you didn't even do anything." you'd murmur, looking away. You look like a scolded dog, which he thought was adorable.

What he didn't remark on was the clear difference in how you spoke to others and how you spoke to him.

you were still frustrated, temper still on high, and yet you held back profanity and sulked instead of snapping at him.

He definitely noticed though, you were so sweet to him that it was hard not to notice.

He'll let you off for just this once, but the next time he catches you he'll have to scold you properly.

He won't admit that he's enjoying the special treatment, he's happy you care about him so much.

but maybe tone it down a little?

Only sometimes though

Well, this one was very fun to write. Thank you once again, dear readers, your support and kind words mean the world. We will dream once again, come find me soon <3. signed, yours forever Moon.

[robotnuts]

heres my bitching post sorry

the main thing i didnt like was how they treated grif's character. he was so angry and i feel like some of his character got leeched out to simmons. for a season that tried to call back so much to the original, that even tried to even out the great destroyer plotline from BGC that didn't make any sense, i wish they handled grif's character with more care. like a red team member manipulating sarge to do what they want is GRIF'S mo, not simmons, and i wish grif had been the one to rally and convince sarge to come help caboose instead of simmons. i feel like the grimmons breakup was the emotional scene that hit the least for me i didnt cry about it i only started crying when the credits rolled, and thats because grif felt pretty ooc for me. which sucks as a grifhead but what can you do

similarly theres kind of a weird abuse apologia thing going on where its like. im fine with how sarge treats grif because it's so clearly like water off a duck's back and grif just manipulates sarge to get his way and rolls his eyes at him and doesnt give a fuck throguhout seasons 1-10, i can take it just as a fictionalized comedy duo that isn't taking itself seriously and grif isn't actually 1:1 like a soldier being abused by his superior irl. and then shisno had the problem of making grif go "actually this really hurts my self esteem and makes me feel bad" and makes you retroactively view their dynamic in a different light. this isnt as bad as shisno, but having sarge say "i was only hard on you because i wanted to push you to be better" made me like :/ because. yknow. if we're taking it seriously, the fact that sarge was "psuhing" grif doesnt make his treatment okay. what makes his treatment okay is that theyre wacky halo man characters and obviosuly there has to be a crazy sargeant character and its not really bothering grif that much. but :/ very minor but i thoguht id mention it

um um um. tex coming back was incredible and made me scream i knew she was gonna come back i was spoiled but i didnt expect how theyd do it. really good. they got me again with the fucking chex at the end of course they did!!!!!!!!

oh right biching. um. what the fuck was going on with wash honestly LMAO like him having his fuckign DID and talkign about his memory issues was completely made for me but his role in this season was so funny and strange WHY DOES HE HAVE A DOC TULPA OH MY GODDDD. like in my ideal world of a final season it absoltuely would have had a more filled out cast and wash and carolina woul dhave been part of the reds and blues the whole time because i want this to be my sitcom where everyone is friends forever but like. I do understand why burnie wanted to take down the cast to sarge/grif/simmons/caboose as the original four founders (rip joel LMAO).

also the stuff with tucker was so scary !!! ahhhHhh why did they send him to time prison for 10 years AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! SCARY!!!!!!!!!!!

idk ill also update this post with stuff that i loved it was really funny and i did like it overall, i need to watch it again i was tipsy/drunk for most of it and also talking about it irl so i missed some bits that my friends went crazy for and i need to watch the commentary. its not all bitching thats just waht sticks in my mind easier. god that campfire scene with the barenaked ladies song i was CRYINGGGG. it obviously felt short/rushed or whatever but like. ugh. its just a potential possible future anyways you guys KNOW in my head all the reds and blues are together on chorus forever and ever always doing their bits. i really am just glad we got more of it to watch together and got to get on burnie's wild ride one last time. thank you

[happypotato48]

We Are EP 5 Unhinged?? Tangent Thoughts

Yeah, i think my We Are tangent touhghts are less unhinged and more like normal incoherent thoughts cause of the nature of this show. but hey, it's all about the branding baby!

I just had root canal and the anesthetic shot is starting to wear off. so let's fucking go with Gay Vibes the show ep 5, the not so special loy krathong episode.

Ok fine! phum and peem were cute this episode. phum still needs a good smack or two but he was extra sweet on the not-date loy krathong and he gave peem that Super duper cute buffalo stuffy which is an automatic win in my book, sue me, i just loved when people use stuffed animals as love language (btw, there like no way a normal balloon darts booth in a temple fair would have that kind of detailed looking merch thing irl.) i liked that it's phuwin who get to kissed pond first this time around. i know that the "นายเอก" characters are supposed to be stand in for all the girlies but in the year of not my lord 2567, just let the bottoms be BOLD and Horny! more of this plz.

I think aou is one of the best gmmtv boys in term of acting skill and difinitely the storngest with comedy in my opinion. i loved him even when the script was kinda meh as the slimy senior in Enchante. and i absolutely adored him in Be My favorite. the tangfang loy kratong confession scene in this episode was mesmerizing to watch, the chemistry was oozing and its was delicious. although i've been gushing non stop only about aou since this show started, boom definitely is a perfect casting choice for fang. we haven't got a lot of scene with fang but i 100% understand why tan is in love with him. this man is so cool and aloof that it make sense that someone hyper like tan would falls head over heels for.

Toey contiuned to be cute as heck and such a delighful little cupid for peem and phum. and Satang got to sings my favorite BL opening i truly had been blessed.

So chain is a manwhore who would have thought. ok, i might be delulu here and just want to make excuse for my man chain but from the interactions he had with those girls i think he just like taking care of other people. maybe he dated every person who confessed to him and rolls with it because he care too much not to hurts their feelings. anyways this man doesn't need a girlfriend he need a puppy and well well he happened to have the most puppy personification person alive by his side :3

Lastly i want to talk about loy krathong. so i myself never vibe with valentine day, growing up i felt it's too commercialized, too pink, too heartsy, and definitely too hetero. so in my opinion valentine just fail miserably as a day about love. and here come loy krathong although it's not originally a holiday celebrating love it did what valentine couldn't for me. floating those krathongs with my family, friends, and maybe one day someone special *cry in single* are to me a more fitting act of cerebrating love of all kinds than going on a date and giving chocolate on a day some dead priest who probably hated queer people died (i have no knowledge about the actual lore of this day and i also doesn't care. 😗) what i want to say is that loy krathong in thai BLs = Yay! valentine in thai BLs = Boo!

[liannelara-dracula]

Shu Sakamaki in Real Life HCS

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Prompt

Requests are open

Rules

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

🎻I probably won’t have much to say because I find his character to be ugh sometimes but I can’t imagine not creating hcs abt this mf.

🎻But it is difficult to come up with things about him, ngl.

🎻Anyhow, if you guys have seen these irl hcs before you’ll know I’m mostly sharing with you my general thoughts, and formulated opinions on this character so here we go!

🎻Okay, so I’m sure we all know he’s the heir and a prince of the vampire kingdom (I know its weird.) And I just have to say this because I don’t say it enough, I really feel like he acts differently in the demon world because he knows his dad will be mad.

🎻So you can expect Shu to be much more expressive as he is the heir, he represents his father and so he needs to be “lively”.

🎻 That being said, he attends gatherings, banquets, and many other events that his father may want him to.

🎻I will say that when he is in the demon world it is much different as he doesn’t act like himself.

🎻Apart from him is still the same in the sense that he is still a pervert.

🎻I mean we know he’ll be with low-ranking vampires or whatever just to get some.

🎻 After all, he has somewhat of an ego even if he doesn’t show it.

🎻So you know he most definitely does believe that because he is the heir he can move from one girl to the next with no strings attached.

🎻All for his advantage of course.

🎻Also speaking of his royalty life I really want to mention the fact that he is very annoyed by all the attention the girls give him.

🎻He literally can’t wait till he goes back to the human world where it's much quieter.

🎻However as a royal he does enjoy the theatre because he can hear classical music.

🎻In fact, he loves it most when he can watch the ballet performances.

🎻If there’s one thing he loves most it’s watching girls do ballet.

🎻He loves watching them practice especially because you know he’s a thigh guy. Apart from being an ass man.

🎻This is honestly where he might take an interest in a girl who's probably a dancer.

🎻I’ve literally made an aesthetic about this here.

🎻And you can read a lot about how he is at school in the demon world here. 

🎻Oh btw he sleeps in only his underwear, that’s just how I see it. (and it's actually canon, I was laughing when I found out I was right.)

🎻I will say that he doesn’t laugh very often, he’ll just have a chuckle that makes anyone uncomfortable but when he full-on laughs it's so fucking rare.

🎻And it freaks out almost anyone, it even got Yui.

🎻He is such an ass I feel like he trolls anyone in, anyway, he can.

🎻His hair is so tangled and I bet he doesn’t wash it that often because he’s lazy

🎻He smells like cotton/linen and a bit of dust.

🎻The best actor to play him would be Toby Regbo.

🎻However the model I found on Pinterest is also a great representation of what he’d look like.

🎻In terms of attitude he really reminds me of Robert Pattinson because he trolls so much. 

🎻The best way to bribe him is with steak, I swear it works every time. 

🎻And I bet my entire ass that Reiji uses it for when he needs big favors.

🎻He loves to be comfortable so I feel like American Eagle, Hollister, Old Navy, and H&M are his go to.

🎻I know he loves cardigans so much so he’s probably extremely picky about the kind he buys.

🎻That’s why he only has three, this is actually canon, I believe it was in one of the game translations in Reiji’s route where he was looking for his jacket and asked Reiji. And Reiji told him it can’t be that hard to find since he has only three, lol.

🎻And idk why but I just feel like he miss places them all around the house.

🎻I also think he keeps so much junk under his bed.

🎻“Huh, I don’t remember that being there.”

🎻If he gets really hot, he just throws his cardigan under the bed.

🎻He once owned a cat, it's not that he went out of his way and bought one. It sorta followed him and so he started to take care of it a little. It lived outside mostly because Reiji wouldn’t tolerate it, but occasionally Shu kept the cat in his room.

🎻He has no idea where the cat went and whether or not it's alive since he hardly kept watch of it.

🎻Although he sometimes wonders where it went, and I think he liked the cat since she sometimes got into Reiji’s things. It was amusing to say the least.

🎻Forgets he puts his music sheets on his bed and ends up sitting on them.

🎻That’s why they’re always somewhat crumbled and folded.

🎻Never makes his bed, he just throws the blanket on and thanks to the butler the room is kept clean.

🎻Otherwise it’d end up like Ayato’s room, to which the butler can never keep up with.

🎻Because he loves music he has vinyl records, and countless CDs in some boxes he keeps under his bed.

🎻He keeps a couple of his favorite books which are in Latin.

🎻Something also tells me if he had a journal, he’d write only Latin because none of his brothers can.

🎻Because he used to be a cashier, he still has his name tag from then and his worker vest.

🎻He keeps in hidden in a corner of his closet.

🎻Speaking of which his closet is so empty and he literally has repeats of the same pants and shirts.

🎻It’s mostly because they were on a good sale.

🎻He will wear the same clothes for like three days or more and not even change out of them.

🎻Doesn’t brush his hair, just goes to school with bed head.

🎻Keeps his door locked so triplets don’t think about pranking him with some clown-related things since he has a fear of them. It's mostly because he’s learned that the hard way.

🎻It's also because he fears they may bring in a caterpillar.

🎻I could totally see Yui trying to feed a caterpillar and he’d flip out in panic and leave immediately. 

🎻He never will admit to his fears and covers them up quite well because he wants no one to know that, especially a girl. lol.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

˗ˏˋ 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑦 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 ˎˊ˗ ©𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟔~Present

[lightsoffwhentheyshouldbeup]

With the anonymity this blog gives me, this is kind of the only place I feel comfortable sharing my grief publicly.

For over a week, I kept coming back to our local Liam memorial. I added candles, flowers, a sea shell I collected from the beach at home, 3D printed dinosaur paper clips, a letter to Liam and a bracelet trading jar. I brought a sign with a green ribbon that says “mental health matters” and put bracelets that say “safety pin” and have a safety pin in them next to it, with a note “let this be your safety pin if you need one”.

If anyone irl asked me how I was doing, I would reply with “good, thanks”. Because there is something so private about my grief that I don’t want anyone to see. Something no one would understand.

I 100% believe that Liam’s death was an accident that happened under the influence of drugs and alcohol that happened due to mental health issues. I had people on the internet scream at me “it wasn’t su!c!d3” for days when I brought up mental health in this but I never thought it was. So I went quiet on the internet, too, because I did not feel seen there, either.

Liam wasn’t my favourite in 1D. He wasn’t my favourite solo. That has always been and will always be Harry and Niall.

But from the moment Liam spoke up about his mental health problems, I felt some sort of twisted connection to him. Sort of because for years I struggled with my own mental health, sort of because my step-brother struggled with his mental health and addiction for years. Without knowing him personally, I always felt like he was another one of us with hurt inner children. One of us who had to grow up too fast under circumstances they couldn’t control. I never got into Liam’s solo music, yet I always admired his talent for singing and dancing. And I cared about him as a person, because I usually care too much about other people anyway.

What hurts me the most about Liam’s passing is that he didn’t get a chance to recover and heal. And that too many times this could have happened to me or especially my step-brother far too easily.

Yet I decided, that is my personal pain. This doesn’t regard Liam. Wherever he is now, I hope there are dinosaurs and water pistols and everything he needs to feel free like a child there.

Fly high, Payno, and try not to bump into those flying dinosaurs too often. x

[animatroniclovingsylveon]

You, ddoodle world enjoyer! Show me your team! :3

(if you want)

ABSOLUTELY!!!!

Here's my team! It's technically 7 "members" because I have another Doodle that I swap out occasionally, and it's this guy:

Louis my beloved <3

Anyways now I'm gonna ramble about my team if you care to read teehee

Taima the Lumiline - Halloween '22 Skin

Named after my OC, Taima! Lumiline seemed like the kind of Doodle that Taima would love, so it felt like the right kind of name for it. She has Reflective as her Trait and she can wipe teams.

Rosie the Nyanto✨- Emperor Skin

Technically the newest member of the team! I remember when Threec was released and I saw the evo and I fell so hard in love with it. I shiny hunted it almost immediately and Rosie is my sweet baby princess! She and Taima are a powerhouse together, it's so awesome.

Pascal the Somberock - Kitty Skin

Papa Pascal! I always see him as the sort of wise, older party member. He doesn't talk much, but he would lay his life down for his team. Usually I save him for the back of the party because he tends to be on the slower side, but he's meant to be more stall-y, in a way.

Jiji the Vixalor - Calico Skin

My other gorgeous girl. I remember pulling this from the Roulette with the Hidden Trait and I was over the fucking moon. She's dangerous with Magician and Gem Blast because of that chance to raise Mag Atk sharply in one go. A nightmare in fox fur <3

Chia the Zapoeira - Calico Skin

MY STARTERRRR!!! Named after my irl cat, Chia! She's been with me from the start and I love her to pieces! I remember seeing the Calico skin and I NEEDED to own it. I scrambled in to Discord for a few months hoping someone would be willing to trade it and I eventually got it!!! I was so happy.

Udon the Gyornaw✨- Cat Skin

This guy was a happy accident! I found him in Runic Island WITH the Cat Skin AND shiny, so it felt right to use him on my team. He's my little menace to society who takes hits like a fucking champ <3

MissingNo the Louis - Pride Skin

My favorite Doodle. I don't know how this little shit wormed its way into my heart but it did. I love this fucker and his stupid little FACE. If I don't have Louis on my TEAM team, I have him as my little avatar buddy and he goes everywhere with me. I've been trying to get all the Louis skins and I'm missing a few of them and I'm MAD but it's fine. MissingNo hits like a fucking freight train if left unattended, he scares me /pos

[cookinguptales]

I am not for a minute the kind of person who believes that bio parents are always more important than adoptive parents, but I will say there is something so... wistful to the dynamic playing out in s3 of OMITB with Loretta and Dickie.

I grew up in a religious area with a strong emphasis on having and raising children, so... honestly, I've seen it happen before IRL. Couples who thought they couldn't have bio children so they adopt a child, only to then have a "real" child who they end up doting on far more. It's a cruel thing to do to a child, and it would be an even more awful dynamic if your brother was rich and famous and the whole world loved him. Especially if you know that it was your ideas that made him famous, but he was just so charismatic that he got the love and fame and accolades anyway.

I can only imagine how much Dickie longed for a family that prioritized him. That put his needs first. I can only imagine how much he wanted just one person to look at both him and his fancy, famous, selfish brother and choose him. I can't help but think that he wondered about his bio parents and why they, too, didn't want him.

And then for him to find this woman who's treated him more like a son than his own parents ever did, who is finally prioritizing his needs, who finally cares about his mental health, who is finally seeing his talent, and... he doesn't even know it, that she's his bio mother. That she always missed him, but assumed he was living a better life without her. That she always watched him from afar and loved him.

It's almost like something out of a neglected child's fantasies, isn't it? That he has a real parent somewhere who loves him desperately. That he really is special and precious and worthy of love; he just had to find the right person to give it to him.

But at the same time... how much will it hurt when he realizes who Loretta really is? When he realizes how much time they've lost? When he realizes how long she's stayed away? When he realizes that she's lied to him as long as she's known him?

Loretta has spent her whole life sacrificing her own happiness for his, staying away because she believed he was happier with his adoptive family, and then as soon as she meets him IRL... she does it again! She sacrifices for him in a way that ends up leaving him all alone again. It's both kind and terribly cruel, isn't it?

It seems like love and stability are two things that he's craved all his life, and they're two things that have largely been denied to him. His brother loved him, but he treated Dickie like dirt. (But still a possession to be hoarded.) His parents presumably love him to some degree, but they made it very clear to him that he was always the backup plan, never the talented, perfect bio child they actually wanted. Even Loretta, with her flighty, dreamlike Broadway lifestyle, could never have given him the stability he needed, even if she did love him.

idk, Dickie's a really fascinating character to me. He really, really creeps up on you, doesn't he? But I feel like I'm so invested in his happiness now. I really want him to finally get the life he's always wanted, even if it had to be born of a tragedy that he never asked for.

[nfcv-saltmine]

Censoring because I'm not about to participate into this modern witch hunt.

In all due respect to the person who sent me this... Get over it, please. Being gross isn't a crime. But you know what is? Harrassment and calls for hatred.

I'm sorry but I have seen enough of those modern witch hunts to not want to participate. This is ridiculous, seriously. A call out post... To protect who, fictional characters? What about doing call out posts for people who you know and have proof that they are an actual predator, not someone you ASSUME are bad because they enjoy something bad happening in fiction to a 100% fictional character?

This is so basic but people can enjoy topics and scenarios in fiction that they would not enjoy and would actually condemn in real life (and they don't all show their enjoyment the same way. The reblogger you're talking about seem to be sarcastic in their comments. You're weirded out and have a doubt about their intentions? Their askbox and DMs are open as I type this, maybe start there before trying to raise a bunch of strangers against them). You don't like it? Okay! I don't like heavy gore in porn! So I just ignore it or block people or tags, and go on with my life, because at the end of the day... Who's being harmed?? Who cares?? I'm not gonna assume someone is a serial killer or support serial killers for it. You just don't understand what they find appealing in this...? Just. You know. Ask??

The people you are calling out not only gave trigger warnings, but from what I see of them, they tag their stuff, too (and a little comment that they forgot or should add a tag isn't gonna cause as much harm as literally exposing them to the world for a little mistake, or for being "gross"). Exactly so people can easily ignore or not see them at all. You read anyway? The blame's on you. You just don't like that it exist? Again, get over it, it's not a crime. And calling it CP or CSA is so fucking ridiculous and make it seem like you take the very terms like a joke, because no real child is being harmed. And yet you put real horrors real children go through... With fake scenarios filled with fake characters?? (When the protagonist of the scenario is very obviously a bad guy you shouldn't root for, too??) What's next. Are we not gonna be allowed to have fictions about murders because murdering is bad and some people are triggered by it because a loved one has been killed? No more rape scenes (the kind that actually serve the story/a character's lore) because rape bad and triggering?? What about the very character of Dracula who canonically is a genocidal monster. Do you think people who like him, or the ones who wrote him, or drew him, are also monsters who need to be called out for liking such a horrible bastard?? I don't think so. Yet, no matter how many heavy and bad topics people explore out there, everywhere, even the clumsier ones... No one reacts the way people like you react to fictional underage SA or incest, even when it's obvious the people enjoying it KNOW it's bad and do not condone it irl and don't even write/draw it to be sexy. Typical double standards.

I'd argue that we need to be able to have any kind of heavy topic in fiction, even the clumsy ones. Because they're stuff that happen irl and it would be stupid to just ignore their existence. So let people explore and enjoy them in a safe way if they want. Seriously, an obscure fic that grossed you out or even triggered you is not worth the person you find disgusting being harassed or attacked or hated by all.

Even if it isn't your intention to cause them to be harassed or harmed... You and your friends literally gave names. You literally reduced two whole blogs to one gross post or ship and made it so people would think "oh they're bad, better stay away from them". You want them to be isolated and rejected by all (because that's what is gonna happen if everyone blocks them and "spread the word" you know). You, yourself, came to my askbox, to warn me about someone being gross like you're expecting me to expose them, too... And I really hope you or your friends didn't do this to many other people because that is just a fucked up thing to do, especially if you had "good" intentions. And saying you don't want them to get harassed isn't gonna make up for the fact you're screaming at the top of your lungs, for as many people as possible to hear, "STAY AWAY FROM THOSE PEDOPHILES!!" when the worst thing they did is enjoy something fucked up in a piece of fiction.

SO MUCH TROUBLE could be avoided if you or your friends simply WENT to the people concerned directly to explain your PoV and maybe ask for theirs, instead of doing... This. Literally, what prevented you from opening discussion?? If you think they fucked up, do you REALLY think it's gonna help them change and improve to shit on them behind their back and encourage people to block them?? Why directly going on the "call out post" route, wich can end DRAMATICALLY for NOTHING, when from all you know... A simple, cordial ask could have probably solved the whole thing?? I'm sorry but this pisses me off. Just for this, nor you nor your friends can claim to have the moral high ground. We aren't talking about a big celebrity wich you can't reach wich also influence a lot of people. We are talking about two random people who have no influence (despite what you seem to think), who seem to be open to discussions. Give the people a chance to explain themselves before you jump to conclusions, seriously. You don't want to? Okay, no one forces you. But don't then pull this shit and then pretend you're morally better and they're the worst when the whole thing... Can be reduced to a misunderstanding you didn't try to clear up. Or a mistake you didn't attempt to bring to the OPs' attention. Or simply a taste in fictions you do not share.

[monkee-mobile]

I was rewatching the christmas episode and I love the part where Davy says he uses a security blanket, I know it was just thrown in to be funny but it’s actually really cute to think about. do you have any thoughts on it or similar headcanons about him?

It IS really cute!

I do have some thoughts on it. Probably many. These are going to be very disorganized and probably a bit overwritten, I warn in advance.

There was an interview that irl Davy did right before he died when he talks about needing someone there while he sleeps and I know when he was little (still real life davy) he had a “security pillow”. So I kind of stick those into my headcanon of tv show Davy sometimes. I think he likes having human contact and obviously we know the boys have zero personal space so he gets lots of it from his monkee brothers.

of course I’m a sucker for little tiny baby davy because he’s totally a spoiled brat toddler sometimes and he’s a fricken cutie whether i like it or not but i have some little thoughts that go more along the lines with that as well as contributing to him needing human contact I guess.

throughout the show when davy gets scared he tends to cling onto people (see clinging onto mike’s arm in the adorable monkee bed, or clinging onto micky’s arm when they think peter falls off that balcony in some video for a song that I can’t think of right now. maybe for pete’s sake?) or he jumps into someone’s arms and they carry him away, or he calls for out for Mike (see the circus episode when the guy starts throwing knives at him. like honey, what is mike gonna do? he’s a skinny little scarecrow man. michael tries his best.) OR he gets all jumpy and overstimulated and then devolves into nervous little giggles (see the wild monkees episode when he thinks the biker is gonna kill him but it turns out she’s a girl and starts kissing him and he’s nervously laughing and she can barely hold onto him. he’s definitely panicky and overstimulated there.)

but basically i think that when davy’s scared, he kind of just turns into a kid in certain ways. He wants the security of someone there to take care of him. he’s all bark no bite. he acts all tough because he probably grew up needing to act tough or else he’d get picked on for being small, but now he’s got his friends to help him and i think it allows him to feel safer and to be able to rely on others more.

This connects a bit to another portion of davy’s real life that I connect into the show headcanon even though it’s clearly not meant to be within the written show. real life Davy lost his mom when he was young, and I sometimes think about the implications of if that had happened to davy in the show even though show davy has probably honestly never felt any real pain in his life. in certain ways I think that could be a reason he wants that security in the show, if he lost his mom.

I think this is a reason he clings onto mike, who’s very obviously the “protector” of the group (he’s their mama hen!! and they’re his little baby chicks following him around!! but i digress…) and mike has become a bit of a surrogate mom for Davy, and gives him what he lost as a kid losing his mom so young.

THIS IS SO SO LONG SO FAR IM SORRY

but mike being a mama to the boys, especially to peter and davy because i think micky’s more older brother type and they’re more of the “little ones” (don’t get me started on peter’s connections to mike. they run deep and peter is very much a very complicated kid in certain ways. he needs a lot of love and has deep down a fear of abandonment that i don’t think he even realizes he has, and mike is trying to help him through it. davy also helps with peter. they all help with peter, peter is so loved. anyway this is not about peter). Mike being the mama is so important to me and I love it so much and im gonna ramble about it so im sorry in advance (the monkees cuddling and making each other feel safe is so very important to me. they’re just my warm squishy comfort characters and i project everything onto them)

I made a post i think on my main blog about all of the monkees using mike’s big hands to stim with (people put davy as the “neurotypical one” but i don’t think he is. idk what he kind of neurodivergent he is but he’s something, he just conceals stuff well. i don’t even think he realizes or may ever realize. this is the 1960s we’re talking about) but I touched briefly upon my thoughts that davy just lets out his toddler energy when him and mike are on the couch and he just plops down in mike’s lap and grabs mike’s hands and occasionally bites them, but also grabbing his fingers and straightening them and stuff and making mike clap and things. Mike is just used to this at this point (davy is spoiled. don’t tell davy. he’ll deny it.) but sometimes it can be too much and I think mike has to set some boundaries about how much he can handle as a “mom” at points and Davy listens. In some of my thoughts I think Davy and Mike have known each other the longest (they just have that easy groove, i don’t know) and I think they’re able to talk well so mike can communicate if it’s just too much for him and davy’ll listen.

also Davy totally just parks himself in mike’s lap a lot and clings onto his shirt and just sits. Sometimes he just needs a nap or something and mike is warm and comfortable and davy knows he’s loved. The monkees full-group cuddle position on the couch watching the television is often peter and micky on either side of mike (pete sometimes sits on mikes lap but he’s a bit heavy and davy has a tendency to kick him off of it. davy be nice!). and davy on mikes lap and they’re all very sweet and nice and i love them.

i keep getting more and more thoughts im sorry…

one more thing i guess. davy wishes mike could pick him up. hes like a little purse dog and sort of internally wishes to be able to just be carried around on someone’s hip all the time. Mike has tried but it hurts his back. micky can do this a bit but davys just too heavy for him and he can hold him better carrying him “bridal” style like he does when davy gets scared in the show. peter is the only one who can really pick Davy up on his hip because he just doesn’t realize davys heavy because monkee logic, and davy is very startled by this at first because peter can just scoop him up and carry him around.

okay. that’s all. i’m gonna leave it at that. this post is so long, i apologize dearly. but i have many many thoughts so thank you for the ask anon!

[blackbackedjackal]

I love how there was 0 reading comprehension with that ask.

I spent nearly $7000 ($6300 for the ER and $500 for his GP) for a /diagnosis/ only to find out Lobo has cancer that can't be treated without putting him through uneciassiary stress. I won't be pursuing any further treatments other than things to make him more comfortable while he's going through this (fluid removal, special diet, and medication).

I had saved up around 5k in our collective emergency medical fund for me AND him. That's what that money was saved for (over the course of like 12-18 months working my irl job). I still have to pay the remaining balance.

I know a lot of people have grown attached to him through seeing him on my blog, and I wanted to provide an option in case anyone wanted to donate to him. All the money that has been sent has gone directly into the fund to pay off the rest of his bills or buying him some food and treats that he likes. It's helped so much and I really don't even know how to express how grateful I am, not only for the donations, but any advice to help with his care and the time and space some of you all have provided to allow me to vent and make sense of everything. Not to mention all the kind and compassionate messages. Nothing has gone unnoticed on my end, I'm just so overwhelmed that I haven't had the energy to respond to everyone. However I will absolutely remember your kindness in turn if any of you all end up in a similar situation (which I hope no one ever does cause this hurts so much).

Anyway, again, messages like that don't bother me as it comes with such a lack of empathy and perspective that I can't relate. I easily brush off things like that as "wow someone's gonna have a bad wakeup call in the future and regret being an ass about this". But still it's like, the brazenness of it all is what gets me. Like "why didn't you use your personal medical funds to help other people in need?" Like why don't you be a more productive person and donate to those causes your damn self than sending stupid shit on tumblr?

Because I DO donate my time, resources, and finances to others in need. I don't make a huge ass deal about it, especially online, because it's something I've always done out of habit. If you wanna do good, just fucking do it. Because I truly believe the more good you put out in the world the more good comes back your way, and this whole situation is very much proving that theory.

[sopranoentravesti]

Ok I’m FINALLY in a place where I have a minute and brain space to recount some of my Convention highlights:

I got 2 hugs from Nana Visitor. And she told me I look good as a Bajoran, asked me what I do, and when I told her, she asked what I do to take care of myself.

I also got told by multiple people that my eyes look similar to Nana’s (brown eyes next to the nose ridge?)

On Saturday, I wore my Kippah with my cosplay, going from Morning Services to Convention.

At one point, Robert Picardo was talking and John Billingsley was crouching down in order to surprise him and his face turned red. I thought he was having a heart attack.

I put my hand on his shoulder and was like “sir, are you okay,” until someone was like “he’s fine he’s just heckling Bob Picardo.”

Thankfully, he didn’t notice

I was a bit late for my photo with the (present) members of the DS9 cast. They had to bring Penny Johnson-Jerald back, but everyone was very gracious, understanding, and sweet.

“Who am I taking a picture with! Oh my goodness, you are too cute,” she (Penny Johnson-Jerald) also wanted to know my first and last name

They stationed Rosie, my Rollator, “center seat.” Terry Farrell complimented my vest, which I crocheted myself, and very excitedly told me she just learned how to crochet.

(I commented that despite my disability, I am unable to sit still and was taught to cope with hyperactivity and keep myself from fidgeting too bad).

J.G. Hertzler at one point approached me and was like “that [my Rollator] looks handy! Can I take a seat?” And growl chuckled and clapped my shoulder ( Klingon friendly style) when I was like “that is not honorable.”

Later he stopped me again. Apparently, one of his loved ones has MS, uses a rollator, but unlike Rosie, hers is not upright, and they are worried about it contributing to back problems. He wanted to know more, how to find one.

I asked Siddig a somewhat rambling question about Julian’s disability, Eugenics, and how that may have affected his relationship to other disabled characters, and disability in trek vs our Society as a whole.

I had my hand up for a minute and he was like “relax, you got next question” I was kind of embarrassed but then he was like “I don’t think you’re hyperactive, I just want you to not exhaust yourself“

He listened attentively, and he gave a vent like answer where he was like “I see your concerns about Star Trek obscuring / erasing disability… my general thoughts are that we are all racist (i was born in Arab Africa, in Sudan, riddled by geopolitical conflicts, Africans are also racist) we are all ableist, and all have the potential to be disabled . And unfortunately, it’s your job to appeal to me as an able bodied person, and my job to appeal to [another audience member] as a brown person …And why we need to work to change laws first, before we work on everything else. Sorry, didn’t mean to get all political.”

Later, I was sitting outside the venue for mingling because of autism ears and photosensitivity.

And he approached me and was like “hey, how are you doing? I just wanted to check in on you.”

Naturally, I aspirated my saliva and stammered something about avoiding the noise and migraines.

I didn’t think he remembered my name (one point I was attempting to steer around him and he was like “so sorry, sweet thing,”) but later when he was signing my autograph! He did! I did have to spell it, but I usually do anyways bc it’s spelled not the typical way.

At one point, I dropped a change of clothes I had packed and Bonnie Gordon came up to me “Darling, I thought your days as a stripper were over.”

Thank goodness I developed a tolerance for making a damn fool of myself.

There’s so much more. I met many cool people, including several folks I knew previously only on tumblr (hi, @xenobotanist @philosopherking1887 @cardassiangoodreads @ettaberrytea and multiple others I am forgetting just now) I got to hang out IRL with some people from the SidCity Social Club, which previously I only lurked at.

I’m still absolutely filled up with warmth. Like I can take anything

[spooky-momth]

welcome to my enclosure I have many thoughts and doodles abt lila (shipping mostly)

[ID in ALT!]

hc dump under cut (it gets LONGG lol)

General:

anthro au specific but since my Skid & Lila are both cats, some nights they'll just sit in total darkness (bc cats can see in the dark). it is great and enriching for both of them.

adding onto that, ever since Pump started coming over they added some glow in the dark star stickers along the walls to help him find his way around :)

Lila is transfem to me . I don't need proof or elaboration this is just something I know in my heart /lh

she probably started transitioning pretty young, which is something she feels lucky for. her parents were supportive ^_^ !!

that being said, her parents were rather protective, and she didn't get out too much as a youngin.

-- that is why she was so lax with Skid going outside. she was kind of overcorrecting for that.

She was probably deep into alt fashion in college (elaborated on later)

Shipping Opinions:

I am just some guy on the internet, if you like a ship I don't, that's great and I love that for you! Live your life.

Goldenlavender (x Jaune): gestures at url. I think it is funny. also.

I feel like they've quietly been pining for a very long time now, but they've both been friends for so long and don't want things to change.

there's something quiet and unstated, but definitely there between them. they don't kiss or anything, but they hold each other really close and aren't too shy about being affectionate. you know?

women who are best friends.

also ross would finally have a parent who can pass off as a natural reason why he has black hair. he is beating the hair dye allegations!!!!!!

Grapecandy (x Kevin): I'll be honest right now. I keep thinking Kevin's, like, 17.

He isn't, I think. But I literally didn't even think of him as being a suitable option for her for a while LMAO

I think I can sum up all of the wagegang x Lila thoughts here: It just doesn't compel me, unfortunately. I don't see their potential dynamic as being particularly funny, or spawning interesting drama. Shrugs. Sorry!

specifically w Kevin though I think they would break up as soon as Skid is brought up LMAO. like he doesn't hate the kid but he isn't ready to be a stepfather imo.

(x Bob): Do they have a ship name? Anyw the age gap isn't my main issue with it. Lila's in her late 20s at the youngest, and they're both adults. I don't think anyone means tiny witch Lila when they bring this ship up anyways

nor is the stalking or attempted murder. I had a creepypasta phase, these behaviors are obviously Very Bad irl but they can be interesting to see in fiction. morbid curiosity and whatever.

My main issue is that their potential relationship is so much more interesting if it isn't romantic, you know? Like, how do they know each other? What was he to her? Why did she react so strongly to seeing him in her past? She seems eager to try to reject the idea that the man in the photo is him, but why? Was he important to her? Did she care about him?

TL;DR: I want more fics abt these two's relationship, but specifically non-romantically.

Deadflowers (x Patty): Not sure about this ship name. I don't see this one often. Anyw, I don't actually have any thoughts on Patty, so this is going to be super short.

I think they might have a nice time together on a date, but I don't think it could be anything serious.

Though, if they did.. overworked x overworked means they'll have to take care of the other, even tho it'll mean they call each other hypocrites for working so much all the time.

I could see it as a background/dressing ship, but not really as the focus of anything. sorry girls

Poisonwine (x Skid's Dad): I want to know more from onscreen canon first!!! But I think they could be super interesting!!!

The tweet that implies that he didn't care bout Lila is. hROUUUGH (<- thang whose heart is breaking). He didn't care, but did she know that? Did she care? I feel like she did..

There's no way Lila doesn't know about the cult. I'm a believer that she was a part of it herself until he died (the robes, "Remember Lila") ...Did she join because of her own beliefs, or because her husband was in it? Did he have to coerce her at all?

I think he was a good dad to Skid.

You may notice this is a lot of me dancing around what I actually think they're like. That's because I don't want to really solidify any specific readings of what's going on here. I am embracing the future with open arms!!

they're t4t tho this is non-negotiable /silly

RoyalPurple (x Carmen): this was supposed to have its' own section but now I'm making a fic with them so just. wait a minute there HAHAHA /silly

(& Streber): this is a Specifically platonic headcanon but I like to think they ve gone to the same university. They're definitely in diff strands, Streber to Engineering and Lila to Architecture, but they could've met through an org and just been pals.

They weren't suuper close or anything, but they were birds of a feather. Girl who goes to class with chokers and giant boots, and guy dressed like a victorian fantasy LARPer.

I think she sent him flowers or a get well card in the hospital :) [miserable hand shake between them abt being personally victimized by Bob]

The Ships That Don't Have Doodles

these will just be single bullet points!

(x F. Gregor): same comments as wagegang x Lila; doesn't compel me. Nothing's wrong with it, I just don't see it.

(x Dexter): this is only funny to me because I draw Lila and co as cats in the Anthro AU. he calls her a stupid bitch, we can move on.

(x Jack): I could see a onesided crush from his side, like "the lady who keeps calling is kinda cute" but I don't know if I could see it getting serious. she can give him a smooch if he wants, as a treat.

(x John): ok this one could actually be really cute. eatyourmaker's post abt Skid and John getting along is super adorable and I could maybe imagine Lila hitting it off with him after seeing how much he cares for Skid. maybe Skid plays matchmaker. this could work. I like it.

(x Ignacio): in the deleted scenes she tried to beat a teen to death for calling Skid a dumbass, I don't think she could get over the threats.

(x Fat Thief/Thin Thief): this could be funny if she was still mad at them for breaking in repeatedly. she doesn't seem threatened by them just irritated LMAO

(x Frank): childhood friends who don't really talk but are chill with each other. they're funny. I don't feel the romance tho. S&P's cool uncle

(x Pump & Susie's Parents): Pump & Susie officially get Skid as a brother AND they finally have one (1) parent who isn't always absent, just sometimes absent. other than as a background detail tho there's nothing here.

(x Mayor Evermore): they would ignore each other on the street on purpose

(x Moloch): he didnt get to but he WOULD call her a bitch.

(x Richard): poor man's Lila x Carmen

(x Spider): please let my girl beat the spiderfucker allegations.