#anyway i had to stall my progress for a while because of real life but ive slowly finished the remainder of the stuff thats out....

[always-a-joyful-note]

Finally caught up to Monstrous Agonies and, asides from strongly believing that change is inevitable but is not always a bad thing and that communication can solve many problems (and if not, eating the problem is a valid solution), I'm starting to think that the real monsters are the friends we made along The Way

[jungw8ns]

GOING TO AN ESCAPE ROOM WITH ENHYPEN !

PAIRING: boyfriend!enha x gn!reader. GENRE: established relationship, fluff, crack. WARNINGS: profanity (not that much tho), mentions of death (?). WORD COUNT: 100 - 200 each member.

HEESEUNG:

the two of you were so pumped playing an escape room together for the first time that the other people in line had to calm you guys down (which was trully embarrassing to say the least 🤐🤐)

he was looking at the ranking board filled with pictures of players that had succeeded in the shortest amount of time and he just wanted nothing more than to see both your faces on there

but anyways, we all know how competitive heeseung gets 🕴️

oh boy let me tell you, this guy WAS SPEEDRUNNING IT but not the kind you were thinking

the second the timer had started he was literally SPRINTING AROUND THE ROOM LOOKING FOR CLUES YET COMPLETELY MISSING THEM 🏃‍♂️💨💨💨

while he was busy running around, you were picking up the little details in the room and in no time managed to open a few locks

"y/n look i found– oh 😐😑😐"

HE WAS SULKING PLSSS 😭😭😭

when you noticed him standing from afar staring at you with his arms crossed, you called him to solve this one puzzle you already did

*gasps* "oh no! babe i don't understand how to do this, please help me 😔😔🤥🙏🙏"

he had to bite his lower lip to stop himself from letting out that cocky grin but it got out eventually

"oh it's so easy sweetheart, just put this here and then voila! 😉"

when the two of you escaped you suprisingly got to take a polaroid with him home after ranking 2nd in the records

heeseung was the one who held onto it tho, placing it underneath his clear phonecase for safekeeping <3

JAY:

GOD THIS DUDE

THE ESCAPE ROOM WASN'T EVEN THAT SCARY AND YET EVERYTIME YOU GUYS OPEN A LOCK OR A DOOR HIS FIGHT OR FLIGHT INSTINCTS COME UP 😭😭👊👊

"y/n stay behind me >:(("

"um, babe, you do realize that's just a door right?"

"WE'LL BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY?? THE STAFF COULD'VE PROGRAMMED IT TO GROW LEGS?? 😵🧐🧐"

you knew you shouldn't have played horror games with him a few nights ago cause he looked like he was about to lose his mind 😔

you had to shove his ass aside and move on to the next mission cause the both of you knew that he was stalling 🏌️‍♀️

jay was being extra clingy the whole time you were playing, he'd either link arms with you or hold hands (he's literally so adorable) 💞💞

BUT THEN YOU THOUGHT OF DOING A PRANK ON HIM

while you were roaming around the room trying to solve a puzzle, you saw this horse mask on a nearby table

and so you made sure jay was distracted and put on the mask

you could've NOT worn the dusty old thing but where was the fun in that?

"jay can you come here for a sec?"

you hid behind the wall beside the door frame waiting for him to come into your sight and attacked him

now, how about we guess what happens next?

a. he faints

b. he runs away

or c. he slaps you in the face and forces you to buy him food for the rest of the night

if you guessed c then YAY! YOU'RE CORRECT 🥳🎉🎉🎊

THIS HOE SLAPS YOU AS HE SHOULD

"$##/@+(+'£%(:?!!)&£**/*%@"

when he finally takes off the mask like those scenes in scooby doo he's never felt so betrayed in his life

"i- I TRUSTED YOU 😭😭😭 YOU BETTER BUY ME FOOD LATER, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, THE BETRAYAL???? LITERALLY UNPROVOKED?????"

he wouldn't stop side eyeing you until you guys finally pulled up on the mcdonalds drive thru

"hi, can i get two um– bts meals please? 😒😒 and two oreo mc flurries 🙄🙄 and also large fries 😐😐"

sane (1/3)

would be trailing behind you like a little puppy (i love him so much 😭😭😭)

he either has his arm linked with yours or held hands every five minutes

JAKE:

really focused on the puzzles he's doing but the second he hears you call out his name for help he's there beside you with the sweetest smile

but anyways, mans was POPPING OFF the entire time you were playing

he was solving problem after problem in no time (he wanted to impress you is why he activated his inner flash ⚡⚡) but he did let you play tho, the last thing he wanted to do was make you pissed at him for hogging all the games

def buried jake with compliments and forehead kisses right after ❤️__❤️

and so the two of you got out in like an hour and a few which you were very proud of

"you were so cool today babe, good job !!"

"aww thank you angel 😊😊"

sane (2/3)

SUNGHOON:

would be linking pinkies with you the whole time, only letting go whenever the both of you had to solve something that needed two or more people

there was this one game tho where he had to arm wrestle this literal hand lever to open the door to the last room (yea...don’t ask why, the staffs were pretty weird 😬😬) 

it made him enjoy the experience a bit more as it was only the two of you playing instead of getting accompanied by strangers

HGAWAHSGDHSGHDA PLSS THIS GUY

“oh this’ll be easy, y/n step aside, i’ll handle this 😏😏😏”

idk if you were supposed to think about how handsome he looked with his serious expression on and his veiny hands coming into frame or be worried for him because the lever was REAL HARD to pull that his veins looked like they were going to pop any second soon, you stepped in and helped him tho cause you were a good s/o <3

from a spectators point of view, the two of you looked like y’all were about shit your pants but the two of you eventually succeeded on beating it, immediately dragging him to the next room which had a sofa in it, laying down to catch your breaths

cliché moment ahead ⚠️⚠️

the two of you shared a few laughs before standing up on the empty space, held hands and started to jump in circles to celebrate your success 💃💃

yupp, y’all were never going back to that hellhole again

very stubborn at first, he wanted nothing to do with the game but then you held him at gunpoint by saying:

SUNOO:

"please just this once or else i'll revoke your mint choco ice cream rights 🔫🔫🔫"

"BUT IT'S SCARY IN THERE BABE :((("

"it won't be that scary sunshine, besides, i'll be ready to 🤜💥 yk?? trust me babe i would never let anyone hurt you <33"

kinda pissed since you blackmailed him into the place and also bc he wanted to play bumper cars and dance mania but he yea he caved in pretty quick 😋😋

(y/n let him play his games in peace tf >:(((( )

once you guys got in tho he realized how normal it was and that it was not terrifying at all

THE EPITOME OF CLINGY OMFG

he wouldn't stop back hugging you and you couldn't bring yourself to push him away to play the games so you just let him walk behind you with his arms on your shoulders 😩😩

(y'all were walking kinda funny but don't tell sunoo that 🤫🤫🤫)

yea the two of you ended up escaping with a whopping 2 hours and a few minutes

but it was the effort that counts so A+++++ for the both if you 😜👍👍👍

sane (3/3)

JUNGWON:

was the one who suggested going, he even searched on naver about really good escape room places to visit and was overall really looking forward it

he liked going to places and having fun with you so it wasn't a shock how his eyes were literally crescents and his dimples were so evident

yea he literally rushed the both of you to the place that you were the first in line 😵

while waiting for the staff to finish setting up he was playing with your connected hands like 🖐️✊🖐️✊ (so precious 💞💞)

"y/n why are you taking so long 😭😭 what if they close and we end up not solving a single lock, hurry up por favorrr 😩🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏"

when they finally lead you to the room he was kind of surprised that they had separated the two of you into different spaces (like the one with txt where they had the answers to the other member's puzzles yk???)

he was locked inside a telephone stand while you were handcuffed in the main room

dw the two of you reunited after a few minutes cause jungwon was rushing his lock to get to you 🤭

you both were progressing at an average pace and it made you guys a lot more closer (not that you guys weren't before but you get what i mean)

after you guys escaped the two of you went to eat curry and talked about the whole experience 😋✌️✌️✌️

this boy literally dragged you in the escape room with him

NIKI:

HE DIDN'T EVEN GIVE YOU TIME TO REFUSE HE JUST 😐👉🚪

"ok masterchefs, in order to test your abilities we must go through series of puzzles and make it out alive, understood?"

he tried ignoring how confused you were and went on to try and get you guys to escape

HE'S LAUGHING AT YOU FOR WHATEVER REASON AND OBV YOU LAUGH ASWELL CAUSE WHO WOULDN'T??? his laugh is so contagious pls 🤖🤖 he was so close to d wording cause he couldn't breathe from laughing too much

yea.. you guys spent so much time laughing at each other for being so dumb at this that you ended up playing 'till closing time

spoiler alert: he fails on doing anything cause the second you made eye contact with him this child collapses 😍🤩

GIRL SO EMBARRASSING 🤡🤡

THE STAFF KICKED THE BOTH OF YOU OUT AND NOW YOU GUYS WERE BANNED FROM THE PLACE ☠️☠️

"haunted house next weekend???"

"BET"

NOTE – god they were WAY funnier in my head but yeah.... i love them so much AND OMFG HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN HEESEUNG’S SELCAS LAST NIGHT???!?@??#?@?!?@ HE’S NOT REAL WTF ⁉️❓❓⁉️

also, idk why BUT EVERY TIME I SAVE A DRAFT the paragraphs get scrambled?? £!?) 6=6) 🤣😂💔💔🤣🤣😂💔 it's so annoying but anyways, ilysm pls stay safe and have a great day <33

[applejackofalltrades]

Why Do I Like AppleDash So Much?

Literally nobody has ever asked me this but I'm going to answer this question anyway.

Intro: How I Got Into My Little Pony

Imma be real. The reason I started watching the show is because some of my old Twitter mutuals were interacting with posts about the Friendship Is Magic 10th anniversary. Some of them were talking about Rarijack and how it was a good ship, and others were discussing the implied canonicity of Appledash.

I had, at the time, just finished catching up on The Owl House that had recently been in the process of finishing up season one or had just gone into hiatus (can't remember which) and I was losing interest in my old hyperfixations fast.

See, I do this thing where I get really REALLY invested in a show and then as soon as it ends or as soon as I absorb every bit of media in it, I lose some of the interest or it fades. I don't usually lose full interest. For example, I still love She-Ra (my last big fandom) and I'm obviously still invested in The Owl House, but ever since both of those shows ended/stalled, I was desperately needing something to distract me from the trials and tribulations of my will to live that my daily life often forced upon me.

As you can guess, ponies was my solution.

I went into the show with a Rarijack mindset, but knowing that Appledash existed. I guess my mutuals just really liked Rarijack. I decided to give season one a chance. Actually, I felt quite silly for even deciding to watch the show. You see, back in 2018, I was still quite... trivial about watching anything that was seen as "girly". I didn't really have any problems with watching cartoons (ie. V*ltron, Steven Universe, Avatar, Pokemon etc.) but it was the fact that a show was "girly" that made me iffy. I had a very fragile masculinity, okay?

Anyway, so I actually was really afraid to watch She-Ra, even though the teaser images and trailer looked good. But I did and I decided that even "girly" shows could be good and that I was silly.

But, oh boy, cringe culture really messed with me. In mid/late 2020, I was ashamed to watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I said I'd watch one season just so I could laugh at it. I wanted to watch it as a joke, and who knows, maybe I found a guilty pleasure to watch while I waited for The Owl House to come back?

I loaded up Netflix and I hit play. Instantly, I was cringing at myself. Can you blame me? Early season MLP was obviously meant for kids. Not that it was immature or bad, but it was definitely a kid's show, especially considering the iconic storybook opening of episode one.

I watched the episodes, but they mostly were just background noise as I did other things. I remember watching them, but I was indifferent, although frustrated that I found myself chuckling at a few of the jokes and quips. I wasn't that invested, though. I thought Twilight was boring, Rarity obnoxious, Pinkie annoying, Fluttershy frustrating, and Rainbow Dash infuriating. I didn't really mind Applejack, I mostly kinda just thought she was the best one. (Nothing's changed, eh?)

And then....

Fall Weather Friends

Season One Episode Thirteen rolled around.

It starts (as y'all know) with Rainbow Dash and Applejack throwing horseshoes.

I don't know why, but this caught my attention. Of course, being only a few episodes after Look Before You Sleep, I had Rarijack on the mind. But I did think that Applejack and Rainbow Dash were probably good friends and would make for an interesting pairing, and a more interesting episode given their similarities, but also their differences.

I found myself fully watching this episode, and I dare say, it's the episode that dragged me fully into the show.

Maybe it's because I see myself in both of them in a way. Maybe that's why I connect so much with the pair, but them having an episode together? That was really good for me. I wasn't in the best state of mind, and something about seeing two characters that were in some ways reminiscent of myself interact and argue and have an endearing episode together made me smile.

It was then that I discovered the simple amazingness of AppleDash.

I mean, who doesn't love obnoxious, competitive girlfriends that are both prideful and headstrong?

I know I love it.

Anyway, so at that point, my mind kinda just clicked and I decided that my OTP was AppleDash. However, poly rights and Applejack has two front hooves *cough* Rarijackdash *cough*

But yeah so that's how I got into AppleDash. Fall Weather Friends, which was kinda the episode that made me love MLP.

How That Progressed

Well, obviously, I still love that ship I mean I live for it. If I could have any one single ship it'd be them. It just kept getting better and better as the show progressed, I mean their dynamic is great whether you want to see it platonically or romantically. They have a lot in common right off the bat (example, they are both incredibly stubborn, though AJ would take the cake for that) and seem to be close (I mean right from episode one they appear to already have a pre-established friendship), but they're also different. Applejack is a hard worker all of the time with anything she does, while Dash tends to be lazy but can be extremely driven when she is motivated (for example, when she wants to achieve her Wonderbolts dream). Applejack is immensely caring and family-oriented and does things for the good of everypony, while Rainbow Dash can be kind of a jerk and not mindful of her actions when she's wrapped up in the stuff she's doing for herself (not to say she isn't caring, but she tends to be kind of an ass, even to Fluttershy sometimes).

Their growth was immensely fun to watch and as time went on, they shared more and more screentime together. Even if it's not an episode that revolves around them, whenever one of them is in frame, most of the time the other is close by, and they often stand next to each other.

Now, in terms of why they work in the show's canon (in my opinion, either romantically or platonically, they do make a great pairing):

They are both competitive and enjoy competing with each other, though they know (especially after FWF when they've taken it too far)

They watch out for each other (AJ often holds Rainbow Dash back when she's about to rush into danger, especially in early seasons, and Dash always lifts AJ out of danger first [the two examples I can think of off the top of my head are in Best Gift Ever and My Little Pony: The Movie])

Their personalities even each other out. (AJ is a lot more calm than RD, and while they can both get worked up, Applejack is usually the calm one)

Their colour schemes are literally complementary. (AJ's coat is orange while Rainbow's is blue. AJ's eyes are green while RD's are pink/red).

They share a lot of cute moments. (You can just look these up)

THEY'RE HECCING CUTE.

AND FINALLY

I mean fuck, the finale. They're literally canon, you cannot tell me otherwise. It was absolutely intended and you cannot prove otherwise. (read the script notes l o l "we actually could do sort of a subtle wink to the idea that they are now a couple???" < RE Appledash). They live together, they have domestic arguments about chores, they are always giving each other fond looks throughout the episode, always standing next to or near each other, and well we all know Rainbow's iconic hoof on AJ's head in the last shot of the show.

Ashleigh Ball really was the OG shipper and fuck it, she was right. We all know they are in love, she knows they are in love. The only reason they couldn't explicitly state it in the show is probably bc Hasbro would have been against that at the time (I mean, Lyrabon had to be very subtle but hey we gottem).

Oh and, I know this isn't exactly canon canon, but it is an official game: The My Little Pony Magic Princess app. Future AJ and RD's descriptions allude to them being together.

You could negate this and say that this is just them being friends but I mean... come on. Come on. Sweet Apple Acres is Apple family land, and the only people who live there as of The Last Problem are Apples. (AJ, Sugar Belle and Big Mac and their foal, and you guessed it... Rainbow Dash).

You cannot tell me that they aren't canon. You'd really have to be grasping at straws because all the signs are there. They had build up, development, and it just makes sense.

If you don't think it makes sense... did we watch the same show??? It absolutely makes sense.

Anyway, AppleDash is canon. :)

[liloelsagranger]

Night shift - finally a new Rocketshipping-fanfiction

My dear friends,

it’s been a while since I last posted an entry. Let me tell you why and what, besides Covid-19, made me pause from publishing fanfictions over the last couple of months. Of course, Switzerland was very affected by the pandemic and still is today. We had numerous lock-downs or as Swiss people call it “slow downs”. My mother got very sick last year, I almost lost her. The doctors said she would only live two or three more days, but my mom is a fighter. She had to stay at the hospital for months, she endured countless medical examinations, had to take meds and slowly learned to live again. I’m so proud of my mother that she was strong and determined to get better. When she turned back home, I started to take care of her and I hate to leave her on her own, even if we’re talking about half an hour or less. Right now, she’s doing quite good, actually, we’re on vacation and she makes a great effort to participate in life in Italy. She’s my role-model! She will never be the same as before, but she won’t give up, she wakes up every morning to make progress. I prayed for her and her well-being, I prayed every single night she might get another chance and now we’re here at the beach and dining in fancy restaurants. It’s been a horrible year for everyone, a year full of sorrow, tears and desperation, a year where I was constantly afraid, the hospital would call me with some bad news, but she did it! She survived and she fights for her life! So proud! Good news is: I passed my doctoral exams and I’m officially allowed to call myself Dr. phil. des. Melanie C. but that won’t ever stop me from loving Team Rocket so here it is - a brand new Rocketshipping-fanfiction for you guys. LOVE YOU! Night shift

Chapter 1:

It was past ten o’clock when that miserable looking guy entered the diner. He inconspicuously sat down in the farthest corner of the café and immediately hid his face behind the menu card. Nevertheless, Jessie the waitress could make out the pathetic expression on his face, how he was cowering like a whipped dog. She had seen quite a bit in this diner. Drunks, thugs, addicts and other needy people who asked for a sympathetic ear, compassion and understanding, but that guy was different. He suffered terribly, but did not dare to communicate, instead he hid from the world so as not to attract attention and quietly endure his fate. Jessie had to do something about it. Of course, she didn’t want to play the Good Samaritan. She knew the tricks of the men who entered this diner. Most of the time, they told the waitress tall tales, hoping to be comforted, whatever they meant by that. But this young man did not make a shady impressionHe was well dressed, looked well-groomed, and Jessie was especially struck by his bright emerald green eyes, the only thing in his face that had not yet been veiled by grief and sorrow. She decided to do something about his displeasure.

“Did you have a rough day?” she asked while disinfecting the table.

He looked briefly into her eyes and nodded. “That’s one way to put it,” he answered, the gaze immediately lowered again.

This would be a taciturn conversation, but Jessie didn’t give up easily, she was a natural at making even rocks talk.

“Listen! No matter what happened, I’ve seen or heard some things. If I can help you in any way, my name is Jessie and I’m in charge of this table today. Let me just get the gum out from under your seat and get you a cold drink. What would you like?” She pulled a spatula from her apron and rubbed away the remains of the spoiled brats that marred her diner.

‘Wow,’ the young man thought to himself. ‘A strong, self-confident woman who lends a hand herself and who’s not above cleaning up dirt.’ Their eyes met briefly, and he forced a wry smile.

“You know, kid. You can’t rely on anyone. If you want to get everything done, do it yourself and don’t trust anyone. This world doesn’t give you anything for granted!” She briefly wiped the back of his chair before disappearing behind the counter and pouring the young man an ice-cold Coke.

“I have rarely seen you so concerned about a customer. Normally you show yourself aloof and only take the order, so as not to get involved in embarrassing conversations. Must be a really great pike, this pathetic creature in the far corner. Could it be that you’ve got a tiny crush on this guy?” For Eddy, teasing his best friend was the greatest pleasure. He didn’t know her like that. Jessie usually resisted any kind of small talk. This was due to her dark past, when she had repeatedly fallen for advances from men who were never looking for a steady relationship, but for a quick fix. Eddy had witnessed this bad time of his friend, how her heart was broken, how she was badly played with, and how she was simply dropped like a hot potato. Jack was the worst example of them all. While Jessie was already hearing the wedding bells ringing, he was making love to the women of the Strip and deceiving Jessie night after night with other broads. Jessie was devastated when she found out Jack was cheating on her. She was furious, not even at her lying boyfriend, but at herself for having been so stupid as to trust a man.

Jessie gave Eddy a light pat on the head. “Don’t be silly! That time is over. I can take care of myself, I don’t need male support for that. I’m a big girl, I make my own dough, and I keep my head above water pretty well. No, not a chance, I’ve sworn off flirting.” Nevertheless, she caught herself as her gaze wandered to the young man in the corner. “Oh yes, this time is definitely over,” Eddy smirked.

“Jessie, could you bring us a side of fries, please?” Misty’s order echoed throughout the hall. The twenty-year old waved her hands. She was used to speaking loudly, almost shouting, to attract guests to her daily water Pokémon show. Sometimes she walked up and down the streets of the Strip all day in the blazing hot sun, trying to win people for her underwater attraction. As an excellent student, she could have taught at any college, but she had decided early on to get into show business and make her living doing what she really loved, joined by Dewgong and Starmie. Her parents had not agreed with this decision at all, it was wasted talent, they had claimed, and had summarily turned Misty out the door. Since then, she had been struggling through life on her own, but could always count on Jess, the diner and her two best friends, Ash and Brock, young people who were also not favoured by fate.

“Temper your voice, twerp!” Jessie couldn’t help but grin. She spread the ketchup bottles around the table, hoping Ash wouldn’t spill on himself and the diner again. His constant companion Pikachu immediately hopped on his shoulder, grabbed a fry and popped it in his mouth. Ash and his Pokémon were carnies. He had trained his friend well and attracted many spectators with his performance. Most of them felt sorry for the guy and tipped generously. That’s why Ash was able to invite his friends to the diner every night, a place that gave them hope where they could experience security. They were convinced that nothing would ever disturb this idyll and that fate, for better or worse, had taken its course.

“Who’s that guy over there?” Brock wanted to know. He had barely sold chocolate and roses tonight. The others held back, but they were certain that their friend was just too pushy with women and that’s why he only collected rejections instead of green bills.

“I’ve never seen him here before. Must be from another area. I can’t tell you for the life of me why he’s wearing a suit at theses temperatures, he looks pretty pathetic to me anyways,” Jessie replied.

“Maybe his car has stalled,” Ash suggested, “and now he was forced to wander through the desert until the tasty aromas from your diner brought him back from his delirium.”

“Or,” Brock interfered, “he had to flee his own wedding because his wife is a real pain in the ass, unlike our sweet Misty,” Brock oohed at his friend. “Forget it, Brock! You and me, this will never happen!” She gave him a gentle poke.

“Enough now with your naïve speculations! Just let him enjoy his drink. We’re closing soon, so get going,” Jessie dismissed their absurd ideas with a wave of her hand, but at this point no one knew how right Brock was.

Dark thoughts hunted the young man. He knew what he would face at home if he was late. Beatings, torture, rebuke, harassment, were just a few words to describe his failed relationship. Unconsciously, he stroked his scarred arms.

“Can I get you something to eat?” Jessie pulled him out of the maelstrom of bad thoughts, of course she had noticed the wounds, but maybe he had gotten those injuries at work. The young man rummaged some coins out of his pants and let them jingle on the table. “Is that enough for a cheese sandwich?” Jessie hated small change, but she would make an exception for him. A friendly smile, a quick nod, and she passed on the order.

“Something’s wrong with this guy,” she whispered to Eddy. “He’s scarred, bruised and pays with penny coins. Possibly a vagrant.” Eddy couldn’t help but grin. “That guy’s been keeping you busy all night, Jess. What’s the matter with you? Are you getting weak?”

The young man could not overhear the conversation between the waiters, but he was sure they were talking about him. He sure made a rather frightening impression, but that was a private matter and not something you shared with a waitress in a diner.

His gaze drifted to the daily paper, which had two faces emblazoned on it: Butch and Cassidy. He had never heard of this odd couple, but according to the news, theses two were causing quite a stir and were terrifying the Strip.

“Oh, so you’ve already spotted them, those two knuckleheads! They keep the Strip in suspense, and heads roll when the taxes don’t add up,” Jessie served him the cheese sandwich and gave him a slight smile.

“Can I get you anything else?” He thanked her and took a hearty bite of his dinner.

The last half hour flew by and the remaining guests left the diner to spend the night on the Strip, as very few had a roof over their heads. Jessie set about cleaning up and Eddy checked the register.

The young man stood up and made his way towards the door. But before he left the diner, he glanced back at Jessie for a moment. A sigh escaped him. What if…?

Jessie returned his gaze and watched him go until the young man disappeared. She walked right up to his table and found a little note on the receipt.

“Thanks for treating me like a human being, James.” 

[actuallysaiyan]

Hold Me(Kakashi Hatake x Fem!Reader)

Word count: 1,603 Pairings: Kakashi Hatake x Reader Summary: Reader has loved Kakashi since they were children, but she knew that it would be hard to get underneath all his layers and get to his heart. She knows he doesn’t think he is worthy of love, but she knows he is. She’ll do anything to show him how amazing he truly is. Warnings: Fluffy, bittersweet, mentions of Rin and Obito, sadness. A/N: Just letting everyone know, I write Naruto content for real now. I’ve finished Shippuden and you can send in your Naruto requests!

It took you so long to finally come to terms with your feelings. You had known him for so long, and you always tried to suppress how you truly felt. You knew that Kakashi wasn’t someone who was so willing to open up to people. He had gone through so much in his life, and you were always there on the sidelines to adore him from the sidelines.

But now, you were an adult and you were trying to get your life together. Both of your parents had died when you were really young, so just like Kakashi, you had to fend for yourself and grow up quickly. Finally, you were financially and emotionally in a good spot, but something was still missing.

You wanted to have a good relationship with somebody and maybe start a family, but you wanted no one else but Kakashi. You felt like maybe you should give up before you even start, considering he was not going to accept your flirtings or advances. He just wasn’t ready for something like that, and maybe he’d never be ready for it. Kakashi was way too afraid to lose someone else in his life, so he just happily went along and lived alone and contented himself with reading his erotica books for entertainment between training sessions and missions.

Days would go by before you finally decided to go see him. He was hanging out under a tree, watching his team train. You had your hands full with your own team, and they were making decent progress. From what you had heard, Kakashi ended up with the sole member of the Uchiha clan and Naruto Uzumaki as his students, along with a young woman named Sakura. Kakashi definitely had his hands full with this group.

The two young men were at odds with each other with the girl trying to be the mediator. This scene really reminded you of when you and Kakashi were young and he was on his team with Rin and Obito. It was almost like you were looking into the past.

“Kakashi~” You announced your presence. He looked up at you and you could see him smiling under his mask.

“Hi,” Kakashi casually said  as he kept an eye on his team.

You walked over to him and plopped yourself down on the grass near his feet. He stared at you for a moment before crouching down to your level. You smiled at him before ruffling his hair playfully.

“How have you been?” You asked, hoping to talk to him for a little while. Your heart was pounding as you tried to remind yourself why you were really here.

“I’ve been pretty busy. How about yourself?”

You started to talk a bit, mostly about your missions and other things. As you both continued to chat, you noticed his students keeping a watchful eye on both of you. You could tell that these youngsters didn’t think that Kakashi had many friends.

“I was wondering, if you aren’t too busy, you and I could go for some ramen later tonight.” You asked, nervously looking away from Kakashi’s glance.

Kakashi looks down, a blush not apparent on his face due to his mask. “Uhm, I don’t know if I’ll have enough time.” He was making up an excuse, but in reality, he wanted to go with you.

“Oh, well maybe some other time.” You said, trying to hide your disappointment. Kakashi just chuckled nervously and nodded.

“Yeah, sure.” He rubbed the back of his neck and then walked over to his team. You wondered if he was just trying to deflect, but you figured he just wasn’t interested in you at all.

You could imagine your surprise when later that night, there’s a knock at your door and on the other side, it’s Kakashi. He’s got his hands behind his back and he’s looking pretty anxious. You’re very surprised but also pleased to see him.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, hoping he had found the time to go out with you.

“I switched around a few things on my schedule,” he started. “I’m feeling pretty hungry, would you like to get some ramen?” 

You eyed him a little suspiciously, wondering if someone put him up to this. You knew sometimes Gai would egg on Kakashi and make him do some pretty silly things. Yet, you felt a little more at ease when Kakashi said please. Your heart swelled at the thought of him actually wanting to spend some time with you.

The walk to Ramen Ichiraku wasn’t long and you were enjoying the warm night air. Kakashi wasn’t really sure what to say to you, so you mostly just took the lead in the conversation. Finally, you spotted the stall and you challenged Kakashi to a race. He wasn’t ready for that, so you obviously won.

“That wasn’t very fair,” Kakashi teased, but he sat next to you.

“I know, but I won anyway.” You said as you stuck out your tongue. Kakashi chuckled.

You both ordered some ramen and enjoyed each other’s company. It wasn’t often that you got to spend some alone time with Kakashi and you knew it wasn’t going to be possible anytime soon after this. You both had your teams to take care of and they would be taking their Chunin exams very shortly.

As the night went on, you could feel your feelings for Kakashi grow even more. Part of you wanted to pull his mask down and kiss him softly, and the other part of you wanted to run home and cry in bed because you knew he would never want to get into a serious relationship.

The date came to an end way too quickly, and Kakashi offered to walk you home. You happily accepted his offer, knowing that your only chance to tell him how you truly felt would be now or never. You didn’t want it to be never, but you could feel your stomach clench at the thought of confessing.

You stood with your back to your apartment door, watching Kakashi with half-lidded eyes. You weren’t really sure how you could start this conversation, but thankfully Kakashi wasn’t an idiot. He knew you had feelings for him, and he knew for quite some time now.

“Listen, this was really fun, but I don’t know if we could keep doing this.” Kakashi started, and you could already feel your heart wrench.

“Oh, I see. Well, it was nice to spend time with you.” You were already mentally kicking yourself for not telling him how you truly felt and fighting for his affections.

You turned to open your door, but stopped midway and turned back around to face him.

“No, I’m not letting you go.” You stood your ground as Kakashi wasn’t really sure how to react.

“Kakashi, you spend most of your time alone. You’ve never allowed yourself to love someone after what happened with your teammates, but I’ve always been there for you. I know I’m not going to replace Rin or Obito, but I love you.”

Kakashi is a little shocked, but he regained his composure pretty quickly. He leaned in towards you, cupping your face gently. He doesn’t want to break your heart, but he doesn’t think he’s worthy of your love at all. He’s too afraid to lose someone so precious to him once again.

“I can’t do this. You deserve so much more,” Kakashi muttered, and you shake your head no.

“Kakashi, you must really think you’re unlovable, but you truly deserve my love. I want to show you that you can be happy again.” You pressed your forehead to his, looking into his eyes wantonly.

Your fingers traced his face softly before removing his mask and exposing his gorgeous face to you. You had only seen his face fully once or twice, but now it was different. It lit a fire in your belly and you leaned in to kiss him passionately. 

Kakashi didn’t pull away, instead he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you even closer. He knew it was going to take him some time to get used to this kind of treatment, but he wanted to be loved so badly. He needed to be loved, and especially by you.

You pulled away, holding him at arm's length to study his reaction. He’s got a dopey look on his face, but you knew he was a little apprehensive. You pulled him in for a hug, holding him close to you.

“I can’t bring back the people you love, but I can show you how amazing you truly are. I love you so much, and I can’t hide those feelings anymore.” You confessed. Kakashi hummed softly before placing a kiss on the top of your head.

“You are way too amazing for me, love. Are you sure this is what you want?” Kakashi asked, hoping you would change your mind and find someone who was much more full of life and wasn’t so damaged.

“I couldn’t be any more sure of something in my life. I love you.”

He smiled softly, not really sure what to say or how to react. You invited him inside to stay the night and he happily agreed. The rest of the night consisted of you comforting him and reminding him of how much he was worthy of your love.

And Kakashi would never go without love for any longer. For the rest of his life, you would always be there to show him that he wasn’t too damaged or too far gone to be happy.

[iwillbeinmynest]

The Next Move - Bucky x Reader(f)

Authors Notes: So this takes place between episode three and four of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. It deters from cannon a little but I tried to bring it back. Also this isn’t a romantic pairing... at least, not yet.

Word Count: 1.8 K

Notes/Warnings: Attitude and Sass. Mentions of nightmares and dream violence, drinking. I don't think there are any show spoilers in here but I’ll tag it with spoiler tags just in case.

Masterlist

Sharron pulled up to the country Italian home. She parked in the driveway and paused before looking to the three men in her car. “She’s not going to be happy we are here and she’s really not going to be happy when she sees it’s you guys so, maybe don’t talk.” Sharron unfastened her seatbelt and swiftly got out of the car.

They looked at each other before following her up to the quaint little house.

Bucky noticed how Sharron was smiling and looking way too casual.

As if she read his mind she looked back at him, Sam and Zemo and said, in an erie sing-song voice. “Look like you're happy to be here.”

Zemo smiled immediately and Bucky wished he hadn’t seen it. Smiling Zemo was creepy.

Still, he fixed his expression from cautious to pleasant and nodded to Sam who grinned back at him.

This was ridiculous.

Sharron rapped her knuckles five times on the wood frame of the screen door.

“Solo minuto!” A voice from inside the house called in Italian.

They could hear footsteps heading towards the door.

A girl appeared into the hallway holding a bowl and spoon, she hadn’t looked at her front porch yet but froze mid bite when she did.

She locked eyes with Sharron and let her spoon clank back into the bowl. Her jaw tightened as she shook her head and began to turn around.

Sharron knocked again, “Wait, Y/N, please! This is important. I’m calling in a favor.”

Y/N stopped and let her shoulders drop with an exhale. “You only have one left. You sure you wanna use it?”

“I’m sure.”

Y/N straightened her spine and made her way to the door. She unlocked it and held an arm out, gesturing for them to all come in. When she closed the screen door she also closed and locked the front door, making the hallway dark. She pushed past all of them and headed for the living room.

When she made it to the drink cart she turned on Sharron. “ I have two rules Sharron. Two!” She opened a decanter of amber liquid and poured herself a tall glass. “You broke them both and you brought him with you. Of all people, Sharron!”

None of the three men knew who she was referring to.

Sharron nodded. “I know. And you know that I wouldn’t have done this if it wasn’t important.”

“And why deliver them yourself, huh? You’re doing pretty well out in Madripoor, I hear so why leave?” She finally took a drink.

“Y/N, please if you’d just let me explain-”

 Y/N hissed at the sting of the liquor. “I have to move now! I finally have a good client base here and a house I’m actually comfortable in and now I have to leave. Why? Because you broke rule number two.”

Sam leaned into Bucky, “Wonder what the rules are.” He mumbled.

“The rules” She cut in, “Are that one: you call me first. I don’t really do drop in’s. And two: you don’t show up in the daytime.”

Sam nodded. Yeah, they’d broken those rules. “Look, I don’t know who you are but-”

“I know you don’t but the real question is do either of you?” Y/N crossed her arms and looked between Bucky and Zemo.

Suddenly, Bucky realized that she looked familiar but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t place her face.

Zemo took in a breath of subtle epiphany, “Y/N. Y/N Ross, right?”

Y/N’s face soured but she nodded.

Zemo turned to Bucky. “She’s the one who let the two of us meet for the first time.”

He still didn’t recognize her.

“I did my job. You tricked everyone in the building.” She argued.

“This is true.” He nodded with no signs of remorse.

Y/N looked to Bucky then to Sharron. “Why are you here?”

Sharron explained everything. Looking for the serum, finding the doctor before running for their lives, the Power Broker, the Flag-Smashers, all of it. “They need the next move and I don’t have it.” Sharron finished.

By now everyone had settled into a chair or onto one of the couches.

“The next move being?” She nudged the conversation forward.

“We need to get in contact with Karli.” Sam spoke up.

“I don’t have a way to contact her. I don’t deal with people like that.” Y/N said plainly.

“You have contact with people much worse than her.” Bucky guessed. “Which means someone you know has contact with her.”

Y/N studied Bucky for a moment while she decided how to respond.

Sharron cut in before Y/N had the chance to start another argument, “You know a lot of people, Y/N. Surely someone can get them to her.”

Y/N looked at Sharron for the millionth time. “You’re really willing to stick your neck out for these guys, huh?’

Sharron nodded.

Y/N finally relented and sighed.

The trio visibly relaxed. She was going to help.

“How long do you need to stay here?”

“As long as you can give us.” Sharron said.

“Three days. I’ll have to be gone after that.”

“Three days then.” Sam agreed for everyone.

           *   *   *   *   *   *   *

Y/n sat in her desk chair in front of half a dozen computer monitors and holographic screens. She sat and worked there for hours. Reaching out to whoever she could toget this task done for Sharron and she’d made it clear that she was only doing it for her.

Bucky and Sam sat in the dining room watching her from a distance.

“Do you remember her at all?” Sam asked.

Bucky shook his head. “She looks familiar but...not really.”

Sharron brought the two of them a cup of coffee, went back for her own and joined them at the table. “Y/N worked at the Joint Counter Terrorism Center in Berlin. Her uncle is Agent Ross, who took her in after her parents died during the battle of New York. She supervised Barnes when he was detained. It was her job to make sure he ate, had water...and she was also in charge of approving who made contact with him. Zemo slipped in and she only realized something was wrong when she looked through the small window and saw him reading the words from that book.”

Bucky looked back at Zemo who was reading on the couch.

“She didn’t know what to do so she ran to find me. In the chaos, she ended up near the cafes where you- or not you,” She looked to Bucky, “Came stalking towards her.”

Bucky got a sinking feeling in his gut. “I don’t remember her.”

“Because she wasn’t your target. You’d been given a different directive. She stood in your way, she told me that she hoped to possibly stall you a bit.” Sharron huffed a single chuckle. “She’s got guts if anything.”

“What did I do?” Bucky felt that familiar guilt creeping up.

“The Soldier,” Sharron specified, “Threw her through a wall.”

Bucky closed his eyes. He felt like he should remember that.

Sam wanted to console him, to remind Bucky that he and the soldier were two different people, but he knew it wouldn’t change how Bucky felt.

“She later helped me steal the shield and your wings.”

“And that’s why she’s on the run.” Sam realized, “Same as you.”

Sharron nodded.

“So why is she here in Italy? Why not Madripoor?” Sam asked.

“Because she hates big cities!” Y/N called from the other room.

Sharron chuckled and Sam looked around, shocked that she was listening.

     *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *  

Later that night Bucky jolted up from a nightmare, this one about Y/N. He was back in Berlin where Zemo had read the words to him and he came up on her in the cafe. Only this time he shot her. That’s what made him wake up.

He silent padded to the kitchen in hope of getting a glass of water. When his bare feet hit the cold tile he noticed the faint sound of the tapping of a keyboard. He turned the corner and from the doorway saw Y/N still at her computer.

“You’re up late.” She said without looking up.

“Have you been working this whole time?” Bucky asked, turning back to get his glass of water.

“No,” She called to him. “I watched two hours of t.v. around midnight.”

Bucky smirked at that. He returned and pulled up a chair near her desk. “Mind if I sit?”

“Not at all.” She yawned.

Bucky sat in silence as he studied everything she was doing. She was in several dark web chats -in multiple languages- with users he didn’t know. All while simultaneously running tracer programs and reviewing satellite images.

She worked for nearly a half hour before she finally spoke again. “So what woke you up?”

Bucky shook his head. “I was thirsty.”

“It’s none of my business, sorry.” She knew he was lying.

“Where will you move to?” He changed the subject.

 She shrugged and leaned back in her chair. “I’m looking at moving to Koh Chang.”

 Bucky nodded but felt like it was his fault that she had to uproot and leave.

 “But it’s time to move anyways. I was getting too comfortable. Besides I think I’m nearing the ‘escape to a tropical island’ stage of my life.” She said with a grin. 

“I-” Maybe it was the exhaustion or maybe he was actually making some progress but either way he needed to say something, “I’m sorry for what I did to you... in Berlin.”

“I know.” She stopped and looked at him. “I’m sorry for being so cold. I’ve been told I have a bad attitude.” She mocked herself.

Bucky chuckled but sombered pretty quickly when he noticed a scar on her shoulder. “Did I do that?”

Y/N followed his gaze, “Yeah,”

As hard as it was to hear, he appreciated that she was honest and didn’t seem to pity him.

“I’m sorry.” He repeated.

“You don’t have to be.”

He looked up at her, finally tearing his eyes away from the mark he’d unknowingly left on her.

Y/N shrugged. “I let him in. If anything I should be apologizing to you.”

“Lets just call it even, then.” He offered a weak smile.

She took it and returned one. She took a breath to say something when her computer made a soft chime. She whipped her head over and exhaled. “Gotcha. She’s in Riga, Latvia.”

Bucky sat up. They were getting closer.

Y/N stood from her sat and with a swipe of her hand through the air, all of her computers went black. “It’s time for me to get some sleep. I hope finding her helps you find some peace.”

He nodded and looked down at his empty glass. “Thank you.”

She smiled and patted his shoulder as she passed. “I know I was a bit bitter when you first showed up but...most of that was towards Zemo.” She let her hand fall and softened her voice. “I forgave you a long time ago.”

Bucky sat there as she walked away. No one had ever said that to him before.

He went back to his room and pulled out his little notebook. He wrote her name down on the list of people he needed to make amends with and then immediately ran a line through it.

Then, for the first time in a long time, he slept peacefully.

 *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

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[whenisitenoughtrees]

to be honest, capable (of holding you) (part 2/3)

He walks forward, crouching over the snake, and when it doesn’t stir at all, he works up his courage and pokes it, just a little. Its scales are warm and smooth under his fingertip, and he resists the urge to stroke them. He doubts he could get away with that.

“Janus?” he asks, trying to keep the somewhat hysterical laughter from his voice. “That you?”

Thomas didn’t know that Janus could turn into an actual snake, but he’s glad to hang out with him regardless. More than glad; ecstatic, even, because he’s been trying to figure out how to befriend him for ages, and this seems like a good first step. What he can’t figure out is why human-Janus is being so weird about it.

(Alternatively: Janus doesn’t trust easily. He wishes he could stop trusting Thomas— it would be so much less terrifying.)

Chapter Warnings: blood and injury, Remus being mildly unsettling

Chapter Word Count: 5,074

Pairing: platonic Thomceit

(part 1) (part 3)

(masterpost w/ ao3 links)

They don’t talk about it.

Thomas would very much like to talk about it. But whenever he goes to bring it up, Janus glares at him in a way that promises a world of trouble if he so much as breathes a word, and Thomas really does not want to set back any of the progress he’s already made with him, so he shuts up about it. He’s not entirely sure why Janus is so opposed to addressing it; it can’t be that he doesn’t want the others to know, after all, because all the others are literally parts of Thomas and as such are privy to the knowledge of everything that Thomas experiences.

As best as Thomas can tell, it’s some sort of embarrassment that holds Janus back, some sort of shame, and Thomas doesn’t get it. Surely he knows that Thomas doesn’t mind at all, that Thomas enjoys the time they spend together, even if their conversations are far more one-sided than he would like. Janus seems to be under the impression that coming to him at all is in some way unseemly, while Thomas just wants him to be comfortable enough to approach him as a human.

But as more time passes, that seems less and less likely. Thomas spends far more time with snake-Janus than with human-Janus, and Janus begins to come with him even when the sun shines bright and his spot by the window is available. Thomas becomes quite familiar with carrying a weight looped around his neck, and wishes he could puzzle out why Janus is acting this way.

The worst part is that with every passing day, he feels like he understands Janus less, not more. Because the way he acts during meetings and discussions, when he pops in to offer opinions and advice masked as sarcasm and cutting quips, is entirely different to the way he acts as a snake, when he and Thomas are alone together, when he leans into all the contact Thomas has to offer, seeking warmth, and, Thomas suspects, company. It’s almost as if he’s dealing with two entirely different people, each one unwilling or unable to discuss the other, and frankly, Thomas has no idea what to do about it.

Because he’s worried that if he pushes too hard, demands one answer too many, Janus will stop approaching him at all, in any form. And that is the last thing he wants.

So, he leaves it be, and resigns himself to the idea that human-Janus may just remain incomprehensible to him, and that snake-Janus is the closest he will get to making a friend out of him. And if that turns out to be the case, then gosh darn it, he will be the best friend to snake-Janus that he possibly can be.

This has the side effect of leading him to a snake-centric fact-finding mission, which Logan appreciates, at least, because “even if the information may not be applicable to most aspects of your life, at least you’re learning something, Thomas.” Which he supposes is fair. He learns a great many things about snakes over the course of a few days, most of it interesting, if not particularly relevant. He doesn’t know how much of this actually applies to Janus, since he’s not a real snake.

Though he does find out that snakes don’t have eyelids. That would explain the whole no-blinking thing.

Other than his impromptu investigations, they fall into an equilibrium fairly easily. Janus will seek him out at all hours of the day and wrap himself around his arm or neck, sometimes staying awake and aware and sometimes drifting off into sleep. And when he’s fed up with the company, he leaves, disappearing with neither warning nor fanfare. Thomas settles into this new routine with little effort, and decides that if this is all he’s going to get from Janus, he’ll take it.

He gets used to it, so much so that he stops looking every time he feels Janus curl around him. This turns out to be a mistake.

He’s procrastinating, as per usual. His deadline is a full week away, and even Virgil has been unable to provide the urgency that Thomas needs to push through and finish his latest project. He knows that this will only end badly, that he’s going to end up staying up until the early hours of the morning in a few days if he doesn’t get started now, but he simply doesn’t feel like it. So, he’s scrolling through Amazon instead, clicking through pages of items that he neither needs nor particularly wants.

He’s been looking at a lot of frogs, lately. Cute, decorative frogs, the kinds that sit on mantles and don’t do much of anything. And plushies, too, and those are actually tempting. He’s pretty sure that it’s Patton’s influence.

“What do you think?” he asks, holding up his arm so that Janus can see the screen. Janus hisses quietly, and he laughs. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.” He doesn’t have the money to spend on a bunch of decorative frogs, even if he had a strong inclination toward doing so, but it’s fun to look. He’s seriously considering a stuffed animal, but he’s pretty sure that Logan intends to talk him down from that, so there’s no real need to be concerned about it. Even if he ends up buying one after all, he thinks it would be worth it.

He glances down at Janus, trying to figure out if he’s enjoying this at all, or if he’s just irritated. And that’s when he finally notices the blood.

He freezes up, his muscles tensing, and blinks hard, hoping that it’s a trick of the light, or that spending so many hours doing practically nothing has fried his brain at last. But no; Janus’ scales are dotted with rusty red, and Thomas traces the blood back to a long gash trailing down his side, sluggishly oozing, slowly dripping onto his arm. He stares for a long moment, his mind stalling, and he wonders if the scent of iron flooding his nose is real or imaginary. Or rather, real by a certain standard, since everything to do with his sides is technically imaginary, but oh god, why is he bleeding so much? He thought that his sides could wave off injuries, that nothing could truly affect them unless they wanted it to? Or is that just Logan? And then there’s the question of what did this to him in the first place, and how exactly he’s supposed to treat someone who’s a figment of his imagination, and whether or not any of the real medical supplies he has would work at all—

Focus, Thomas.

It’s like a whisper in his ear, gentle and firm. Logan’s voice. The world snaps into sharp clarity, mind and adrenaline working in tandem.

“Oh my god,” he says, and Janus’ head swivels to face him. The movement is slow, almost lethargic, as if he’s operating on a time delay. “You’re hurt. Okay. Well, not okay. But you’ll be okay.”

He has a first aid kit in the bathroom. He has no idea whether that will help or not, but he won’t know until he tries, as his logic helpfully points out. So the first order of business is to get to the bathroom. He stands, setting his laptop to the side, trying to jostle Janus as little as possible. Now that he’s paying attention, more and more details filter in; Janus’ grip on his arm is looser than usual, his eyes dull and glazed. His hat, usually so perfectly placed, is just slightly askew.

He makes it to the bathroom in short order, yanking the kit out from under the sink and nearly spilling its contents across the floor. He’ll need both hands for this, and he looks to Janus with no small amount of trepidation, wondering how well he’ll take being moved. He doesn’t want to cause him more pain than necessary, and he doesn’t know how aware he currently is, doesn’t know if he’ll lash out if he feels threatened. He gives him an experimental nudge, prodding at him with one finger, and Janus hisses, shifting his coils to hold on tighter.

“C’mon,” Thomas says. “You gotta let me help you, buddy.”

There is is again: buddy. He still doesn’t think it fits quite right, but it seems to slip out anyway, and now is hardly the time to worry about it, not when Janus still shows no sign of budging.

“Please, Janus,” he says, dangerously close to begging. “I promise, I’m not gonna let anything else happen to you, but you need to let me see where you’re hurt.”

Janus’ tongue flickers out, tasting the air, and his eyes seem to focus just a bit. One minute passes, and then another, and Thomas is about to try to remove him by force when finally, he lets go, slithering onto the counter, his motions hesitant and pained, softly hissing all the while. Blood begins to drip onto the sink, the sickening red smearing across the countertop.

“Thank you,” Thomas says, not bothering to hide his relief. “Okay, um, I’ve got bandages. And painkillers, if you want them… can snakes take painkillers?” He sets things out as he names them, slowing as he hits a snag. Not only does he not know if snakes can take painkillers, but he also doesn’t know if there are any other substances in here that would do more harm than good, or if there are any special steps he should take due to his scales, or the fact that he’s cold-blooded. In fact, he has absolutely no idea how to treat a snake, and the idea that he might end up making things worse is enough to send his anxiety ratcheting up a few notches.

Is he overthinking this? He might be overthinking this. But what if he’s not?

Try to remain calm. If you don’t know enough to work within this situation, change the situation.

Logan again, though he’s not sure how that’s supposed to help. He would change the situation if he could— heck, that’s what he’s trying to do— but if it were so simple as wishing this whole scenario away, he would have done it by now. He’s not sure how to—

Oh, wait. Change the situation, or change Janus’ situation?

He has absolutely no idea how to treat a snake. But Janus doesn’t have to be a snake.

He crouches down so that he’s on eye level with Janus, who is limp and unmoving on the sink counter, tracking his motions with clouded eyes. It’s not just the large gash, he realizes; that’s the worst of it, but there are several shallower cuts, all still open and bleeding, and he swallows hard.

“Okay, so, I don’t want to make things any worse,” he says, keeping his voice low. “Do you think you could turn back into a human for me? Just so that I know what I’m doing?”

Not that he knows much about treating humans either, but at least he’d know where to start. Perhaps if Janus’ injuries were less severe, he could work with them in this state, but that prominent gash looks deep and angry, probably about six inches long, wide and painful, rending scales apart and leaking dark blood and god, he is so afraid of making this worse—

Janus stares at him, and doesn’t react.

“I’m sorry,” Thomas says, because he is. He doesn’t know why Janus only initiates contact with him as a snake, doesn’t know why the very idea of deviating from that seems to disquiet him. Asking him to be human now, like this, almost seems wrong, like they’ll be breaking what understanding they do have between them, breaking the peace they’ve found with each other lately. But then, the peace is already broken, he thinks, has been broken since Janus showed up bleeding. “I know you probably don’t want to. But I want to make this better, and I don’t think I can if you’re uh, shaped like this. I… I guess I’m asking you to trust me.”

It’s a tall order, and he is well aware of that. Janus is Deceit, after all, and Deceit is practically the antithesis of trust. He’ll probably have to work with Janus as a snake after all, and he’s just resolving himself to do the best he can when Janus shifts in place, raising his head.

Thomas isn’t sure how to process what happens next. One part of his brain tells him that the change happens slowly, that Janus’ form stretches and morphs in impossible ways, scales fading away and features rearranging before his eyes. The other part of his brain insists that the shift is instantaneous, that it happens as quickly as blinking, that in one moment, there is a snake curled on the counter and in the next, there is a man, with no gradual transition between the two. But however it happens, Janus now sits in front of him, arms and legs all present, hunched in on himself and wheezing. One hand flies to his side, clutching at his shirt.

Thomas blinks. For a second, his mind fights with itself, trying to decide on what, exactly, he just watched. Then, he decides that it doesn’t matter, that he’ll have a crisis about it later, and that there are more important things to concentrate on.

He reaches out, placing a steadying hand on Janus’ shoulder. “Easy, easy,” he says, raising his voice to be audible over Janus’ gasps. “Are you okay?”

It takes a minute for Janus to get his breathing under control, and when he does, he looks up at Thomas, his expression pinched. “Just fine,” he rasps. “Absolutely perfect, can’t you tell?” His voice is strained, tension showing in the lines around his eyes and in the thin set of his mouth. “Really, Thomas, the fuss is hardly necessary. I—” He cuts off with a slight gasp, eyes squeezing shut, and Thomas feels his heart clench.

“Hm, yeah, no, I think I’ve got the right to fuss a little bit,” he says, hoping his voice stays level. He looks him up and down, searching for the injury, and finds nothing; his shirt appears immaculate, his whole outfit as perfectly assembled as usual, not a rip or tear in sight. If it weren’t for the pain on his face, the tremors wracking his frame, Thomas wouldn’t suspect that he was injured at all, and he frowns. “Can you, uh—” He gestures— “take off your shirt, maybe? So I can see where you’re hurt?”

Janus sighs heavily, as though the request has greatly burdened him. He waves one hand in the air, and his shirt and capelet vanish, revealing his bare torso. Under any other circumstance, Thomas might be fascinated by the scales that trail all along his chest and left arm, but right now, his attention centers on the gash bloodying his side, and the thinner scratches that cover him. They all look bigger than they were before, more serious, and he hopes that he didn’t make the wrong decision in requesting him to shift. If it had been a bad idea, he would have refused, right?

“God, Janus,” he says. “What happened?”

Janus sighs again, rolling his eyes. “A mishap in the Imagination,” he says. “Unfortunately, both Roman and Remus designed the place so that its effects stick around even after leaving.”

… Alright. That’s probably something to talk about later; he doesn’t particularly like the reminder that he has no idea how most of the mindscape works. “But I thought you could heal yourselves?” he can’t help but ask. He vividly remembers the day he met Remus, the way that none of his attacks seemed to affect Logan for more than a few seconds.

“We all can, to some degree,” Janus agrees. “It’s more difficult for some of us than it is for others.” He hesitates, and the next words come out slow and almost defensive. “I am capable of it, if I succeed in persuading myself that the problem doesn’t exist in the first place, but in order to do so, I need to sufficiently distance myself from any negative sensations that accompany the harm. I am… currently finding that difficult.” He glares. “I’ll mange perfectly well, given time. There is no need for any of this.” He waves an arm to punctuate the declaration, and it might have been somewhat convincing if it weren’t for the fact that he immediately curls in on himself, face paling, like he’s pulled something the wrong way.

“Yeah, okay,” he says. “Well, how about you let me help you anyway, just for my peace of mind?”

Janus stares at him for a long moment, face unreadable. Finally, he glances away. “Do what you wish,” he says. “If you want to waste time on this, be my guest.”

He hums noncommittally, already inspecting the wound. “I don’t think that taking care of you is a waste of time,” he says, fishing through the first aid kit. He comes up with a bottle of extra-strength Tylenol, looking up just in time to see what can only be an expression of shock fade from Janus’ face, and god, what must he be doing wrong if that is Janus’ reaction to being told that he cares about him? He can’t unpack that right now, or else he might cry, so he holds out the Tylenol instead. “Painkillers?”

Janus nods slightly, and takes two dry. From there, Thomas works in silence, cleaning the wounds as best he can and bandaging them. It takes longer than he expects, and he debates whether or not the long gash will need stitches. He decides not to make the attempt, trusting that what Janus says is true and that he will be able to heal before too long. So he wraps bandages around his torso, and Janus, for his part, remains perfectly still, staring straight ahead, an occasional soft hiss the only thing that betrays his discomfort.

“Okay,” he says quietly, inspecting his handiwork. “I think that’s the best I can do.”

Janus shoots him an unreadable look. “In that case,” he says, “I believe I’ll be going now.”

He hops down from the counter before Thomas can stop him, and his face crumples like a wet sheet of paper. Thomas catches him as his knees give out, hooking his hands under his arms. He is surprisingly light, his skin cool to the touch.

“How about we don’t do that, actually,” he says. “I’ll tell you what, let’s go to my room, and I can work and you can get some rest?”

Janus hisses, trying to jerk away. It’s not difficult to prevent him from doing so; he has all the strength of a floppy pool noodle. “Oh yes, because I’m in dire need of a babysitter,” he spits out, and perhaps Thomas should feel intimidated, but looking at him, at the way all the color has drained from his face, at the way his eyes have glazed over even as they dart around the bathroom, all Thomas can muster up is a deep worry.

“I’m not trying to babysit you,” he says. “Believe me, I know that you of all people don’t need babysitting. But if you try to sink out now, I’m just gonna be stressed out, so if you’d stick around for a little bit, I would really appreciate it.”

Janus stills. The silence stretches on.

“Fine,” Janus says. “Sure. Whatever.”

Thomas restrains himself from letting out a sigh of relief, instead adjusting his grip on Janus until he is only supporting part of his weight. From the look on his face, Janus wants very much to grumble about the indignity of the situation, but miraculously, he remains quiet all the way to Thomas’ room, though he begins to drag his feet when he sees what Thomas intends.

“If you want me to rest,” he says, “I am perfectly capable of doing so in my own room. There’s hardly a need for me to take up space in your bed.”

“Okay,” Thomas says, lowering him to sit on the bedsheets and doing his level best to ignore his glare, “but then I won’t know that you’re alright. Also, I don’t see what the big deal is? It’s not like we haven’t done this before. You were just, uh, snakier.”

He knows immediately that it is the wrong thing to say. Janus’ face sets into an impassive wall, and he looks away, refusing to make eye contact. Thomas can’t tell what he’s feeling, whether it’s anger or embarrassment or frustration or some stubborn combination of the three. But he settles himself against the headboard without further argument, seemingly determined not to carry on any further conversation, so Thomas resigns himself to the silent treatment and sets up with his laptop on the other side of the bed, several inches placed between them.

The atmosphere is awkward, heavy. They both know that Thomas wants to talk, and they both know that Janus will not reply, or if he does, it will be with sharp sarcasm or otherwise cutting words, an answer that will not answer anything at all. So Thomas doesn’t say anything, merely glances over every now and again to be sure that Janus is still there, is still fine, is still breathing. Every time, he is greeted with the same sight: Janus staring off into the empty space in front of him, face blank, a faint tightness around his eyes the only indication that he is still in pain. There is a wall between them, invisible yet insurmountable, and Thomas has no idea how to breach it.

Why does their relationship feel so off-kilter now? Why are things so natural between them when Janus is a snake, small and speechless and cuddly, and not when he is a human?

“I don’t mean to force you to stay,” he murmurs. “If you’re really that uncomfortable, it’s alright if you leave.”

He’s watching him out of the corner of his eye, and as such, he sees the wince, slight though it may be.

“It’s… not that,” Janus admits. “I am grateful for your concern, truly. I just… so love being in unfamiliar territory.” His voice is a quiet drawl, but laced with exhaustion, his words just shy of slurred together.

He takes a second to parse through the words, and then smiles. “Well, that makes two of us,” he says. “I’d be alright with muddling through together. And look, I know that most of the time, when we hang out, you’re a snake. And that’s fine! One hundred percent fine, if that’s what you’re most comfortable with! But uh, I really wouldn’t mind spending more time with you as, like, a person, too, if that makes sense. Not that you’re not a person when you’re a snake! Wait—” He furrows his brow, trying to untangle his words, and looks over, certain that Janus will at least be amused by his rambling.

He’s not. Because Janus is asleep, his chin resting against his chest and his hat about to fall into his lap. Thomas feels an inexorable sense of fondness sweep over him, and with a gentle movement, he reaches over to pluck the hat from Janus’ head, revealing brown hair that falls in springy waves. He places the hat on the nightstand, casting one last look at Janus before returning his attention to his laptop.

There is plenty of work to do, and he is content to do it here, sitting in bed with Janus napping by his side. So he does, his fingers clacking against the keys long into the night, and Janus sleeps on.

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He doesn’t remember falling asleep. But he must, because he wakes, and slowly processes the fact that all is not as he left it. For one, the light is off, the room dark, and his laptop is resting on the nightstand, next to the shadow of Janus’ hat. For another, there is a heavy weight on top of his chest, pinning one of his arms against his side, and in the seconds before his eyes adjust sufficiently to the darkness, he fears the worst, fears that someone has broken into his apartment and… crawled into bed with him, and the irrationality of that idea is enough to dampen his panic. He squints, trying to will his vision into focus, and begins to make out what features he can see of the face pressed against his chest, features that very closely resemble his own, and that is when he remembers: Janus on his arm, Janus injured and bleeding, Janus on his bed, Janus asleep. Janus… still here.

Janus, snuggled up against him, his head resting on his chest, his body curled into his side, latched onto him with both… no, there’s more than two arms. At least four, maybe more; it’s difficult to determine without the light on, because all that Thomas can tell is that he is being very thoroughly hugged, and that it feels very nice.

This fact is distracting enough that it’s a full three minutes or so before he realizes that there is another figure perched on the edge of his bed. Panic roars up in him once again, his heart pounding and the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end, but then he notices the details, notices the poof of the figure’s sleeves, the wildness of their hair silhouetted against the light that creeps around the edges of the doorframe, the unholy red gleam of their eyes. And he… well, he doesn’t relax, not exactly. But most of his fear sidesteps directly into annoyance.

“Remus,” he hisses, as quietly as he can manage. “What are you doing?”

Remus cocks his head, his eyes shining brighter. He’s crouched almost like a grotesque parody of a cat, ready to pounce. But the Duke himself is still and silent, and it’s very odd. Almost worrying. And when he finally speaks, it’s not at all what Thomas was expecting.

“DeeDee got hurt,” he says, voice a subdued whisper, and Thomas is taken aback, both by the seriousness of his tone and the evident consideration toward not waking Janus up.

“I— yeah,” Thomas replies, uncertain as to where this is going. “I, uh, patched him up as best I could. He said he’d heal soon.” A thought occurs to him, and if Janus weren’t keeping him flat on his back, he’d be sitting bolt upright, finger pointed in accusation. “Wait, he said he was hurt in the Imagination. Did you have something to do with that?”

“I can’t keep an eye on every part of La La Land at once, Thomas.” He shrugs. “It’s not my fault if Snake from Snake Farm wandered into something he shouldn’t have.” He giggles, high-pitched and a little manic, but Thomas wonders at his tone of voice. It’s as irreverent as always, but underneath that— can it be concern? He really didn’t think Remus did concern. “Snakes should know better than to let their guard down. Your mind is dark and full of terrors.” He smiles, several rows of pointed white teeth gleaming an unnatural white in the shadows.

“I don’t even watch—” He cuts himself off, shaking his head, and then freezes as Janus makes a small sound. Seconds pass, and he waits with bated breath, but Janus doesn’t seem to wake. “Okay, then,” he continues, more quietly. “Is there a reason why you’re here?”

Remus blinks, and once again, Thomas is reminded of a cat. A terrible, eldritch horror of a cat, but a cat nonetheless. “DeeDee doesn’t like to be around people when he’s hurt,” he says, rocking back and forth in place. “He doesn’t like people knowing when he’s weak.” He sighs through his nose, his breath whistling more than is natural. “He holes up in his room and doesn’t come out for anything, usually. Not even when I bang on the door and put rats in his air vents.”

Thomas stares, trying to process that. “But he’s here with me,” he says dumbly. “He decided to stay here. He’s…” He trails off. He doesn’t need to describe what Janus is doing; surely, Remus can see it for himself, can see them engaging in what can only be labeled as cuddling. And it’s not as if this is the first time; it’s just the first time Janus has been human-shaped.

“Yes, he is,” Remus agrees, voice sharp, and he is definitely trying to convey something here, something that Thomas is missing. “Tommy-boy, Tommy-boy, Tommy-boy, you’re just not getting it, are you? Well, that’s fine. Just remember that the snakes on the plane die too, if the plane crashes.”

“Is the plane crashing?” Thomas asks, voice hoarse, hesitant, and once again, Remus smiles, wide and dangerous.

“Not now, maybe,” he says. “But it still could. It always can. That’s the fun thing about airplanes. I could help with that, if you wanted.”

“No thanks,” Thomas is quick to reply.

Remus shrugs. “Suit yourself,” he says, and then pauses. “Janus doesn’t let just anyone this close, you know. So don’t fuck it up.”

It’s such an uncharacteristic statement that by the time Thomas has recovered enough to reply, Remus is gone, melting into the bedsheets in a grotesque puddle of goo, and then, even that disappears. Thomas is left in a dark, quiet room, and he has never felt more awake.

But Janus is still here, still asleep, is holding onto him for dear life and hiding his face against his chest. And it’s something precious, something intimate, something that Thomas feels privileged to see at all, and Remus’ voice rings loud in his head: Janus doesn’t let just anyone this close. Why, then, has he allowed him this? Why has he let Thomas see him at his most vulnerable, no matter how reluctant he was at the start? Why did he choose to stay, rather than leaving once Thomas nodded off?

Each question only leads to more questions, and it’s clear that he won’t receive any answers tonight. So he settles back in as best he can, though it is a long time before he manages to fall asleep again.

In the morning, Janus is gone. He wishes he could be more surprised.

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Mobile Life Simulators, Ranked (Part 1)

I downloaded a whole ton of mobile life simulator games over the past couple weeks and I realized it wouldn’t be plausible to rank all of them in one go so I’m breaking it up into parts with more similar games grouped together (can’t say when the next part will be made but I’m definitely planning on doing more at some point). Thank you to @creativeghost51 for recommending I cover the Sims games and other life sims!

It’s hard to define what ties these Part 1 games together (as opposed to some other groups like idle life sims and text-based life sims) but I guess the biggest similarity would be that all of these games involve your sim characters living in a home where they can freely walk around, and can interact with objects and each other. With the exception of Virtual Families Lite you can also decorate, customize and expand your home.

Something I noticed about all of these games is that you don’t really have as much freedom to experiment and build your own storylines and such as you do with, for example, the Sims computer games. While the games aren’t completely linear and there is a variety of things you can do in each of these games, they don’t really have the same sandbox quality that I think about when I think about the Sims. Which is understandable - these games are free to play and they’re made to be played mostly on people’s phones so they are expectedly more on the casual side. But I just wanted to point that out in case anyone was looking for something like the Sims to play on their phones or tablets. I haven’t really seen a mobile game in existence yet that is going to give you that same life sim sandbox experience.

Anyway, here’s the ranking rubric for these games (I’ll go into more detail about all of these scores under the read more):

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1. Home Street

Developer: Supersolid Ltd

Release Date: Oct. 10, 2017

I was actually really surprised by this game - while it is more marketed as a home design game than a life sim it has a lot of similarities to games like The Sims Mobile; you have a character you can customize and dress up in a wide variety of outfits, you can interact with and build relationships with other characters/players (although only friendships, not romantic relationships, and you can’t have kids) and you do hobby-like activities such as painting and cooking.

While there aren’t personality traits or careers in this game, you save up “ideas”corresponding to different emotions or attributes, which function as crafting materials to go toward your hobbies. Through your hobbies/crafting abilities you can complete jobs for other characters, like selling them vegetables from your garden or giving them something you’ve cooked.

🏡 Character Design: 3/4 (while the ability to customize your character’s facial features and such isn’t as advanced here as it is in The Sims Mobile, it still has a wider range of options than The Sims FreePlay and I prefer the art style of Home Street compared to FreePlay; there’s also a wide range of outfits and accessories and you can set different outfits for different activities)

🏡 Home Design: 4/4 (although you’ll probably notice from my screenshots that I’m not exactly a home design aficionado, I found placing decorations, walls and floors etc in this game to be a smoother and easier process than in any of the other games and I like the art style of the objects as well. There’s a good range of items, including ones your character can interact with in different ways, and I like having the various hobby workstations embedded into the home where you can place them wherever works best for you, which is also how it is in the Sims games. There’s a lot of potential for someone who’s more adept at home design than me to create really fun themed rooms and whatnot)

🏡 Gameplay: 9/10 (I really loved the gameplay concept in this game more than in any of the other games, I love leveling up to get new workstations and crafting items to fulfill tasks for other characters. The task concept kind of reminds me of Animal Crossing in a way. While the main screen can be a little busy at times, overall the game is really easy to navigate and does a good job of guiding you with goals and tasks without making it feel like you’re restricted to only following those exact tasks. The characters and dialog are also charming and make you feel like you’re progressing through a story as you level up)

🏡 Playtime vs. Wait Time (without paying to speed up tasks): 4/4 (while you do need to wait for your hobbies/crafting tasks to complete, they don’t really take that long and you can save time if you craft things ahead of time; also there are a lot of things you can do while you’re waiting. The wait times might get longer as you get further in the game but I played for about two weeks and so far I haven’t felt really stalled at any point)

🏡 Total: 20/22

2. The Sims Mobile

Developer: Electronic Arts

Release Date: March 6, 2018

I was also pleasantly surprised by this game, since I had played The Sims FreePlay years ago and didn’t really like it, but this one I liked a lot more and had quite a bit of fun with. As I mentioned before, it doesn’t have the same sandbox quality as the computer Sims games, but the character customization is the best out of all the life sims I played and there’s such an enormous catalog of different clothing and home design items to choose from, there are definitely a lot of fun possibilities.

There’s a fairly wide range of things to do although I did feel a little more confined to the tasks the game set out for me - for example I went with the careers that I had objectives for rather than picking careers I’d really want my character to have, plus you need to wait until you level up to unlock careers so you have less freedom in that aspect.

🦙 Character Design: 4/4 (This game actually uses sliding scales to customize different facial features and body types and such, and although it isn’t as advanced as in the computer games it is much more advanced than I’d expect for a casual mobile game and makes it a lot easier to make the characters look how you actually want them to. The catalog of things to dress your sims up in is also enormous and there’s a fun special fashion feature that creates unique clothes that boosts your stats for certain activities, which is why there are hearts floating around my sim in the screenshot. Oh and there’s a social feature to give other people’s sims stickers based on their outfits, which makes dressing up your sim more fun and exciting)

🦙 Home Design: 3/4 (The home design here is pretty fun and there is a wide range of items, and I also like how there’s a score that goes up as you add more items and complete furniture collections. However I personally found the controls for placing a moving things a little wonkier than in Home Street and FreePlay, i.e. I kept moving things on accident or couldn’t get things to easily snap where I wanted them to, and the collections and goals did make me feel a little confined to selecting certain objects or adding things I didn’t need to fulfill the goals rather than going with my own style, although I suppose you could just ignore the goals if you wanted to)

🦙 Gameplay: 7/10 (This game is fun although it can get quite repetitive since one of the main things you’ll be doing is “events,” which mostly involves just tapping things or waiting a certain amount of time for the tasks to complete themselves. The “events” in this game kind of reminded me of the tasks in the Kim Kardashian game which I also played years ago lol. However there are things to do besides events and the events do have a little more to them than just tapping; when I say tapping I mean tapping task options that sometimes have quirky, funny names and there are also “risky” tasks that have bigger rewards but a certain chance of succeeding or failing etc. There are little bits of dialogue as you progress through your career, relationship and hobby chapters and there are also seasonal/limited time activities you can do that add more fun and variety and chances for rewards. However I still wish there was a little more variety and flare to the “events” aspect, which made up the bulk of my playtime)

🦙 Playtime vs. Wait Time: 4/4 (Like in Home Street, there is waiting involved if you’re waiting for events to complete and you run out of energy to do the tasks that speed them up, but you can choose whether to have a longer event or a shorter event and you can also have one sim be running an event while doing something else with the other sim. I was able to choose shorter event times if I wanted to stick around for a bit and then run a longer event when I was logging off for a while so I could reap the rewards when I came back. The amount of time you can spend playing continuously here is much better than a lot of other mobile games that involve an energy system)

🦙 Total: 18/22

3. Virtual Families 3

Developer: LDW Software, LLC

Release Date: Sept. 17, 2020

(Note: Please disregard how barren my home looks here, this was the last game I started playing so I didn’t progress very far but I feel I can still base my scores on what I’ve played so far and what I can see available that I just haven’t unlocked/can’t afford yet)

The Virtual Families games are all pretty similar to each other to be honest, but the most recent version is definitely the most fleshed out and the least ugly. There are more things to do, more variety in the sim designs (here they’re called “adoptees”) and there are actually nonwhite characters which I’m pretty sure there weren’t any or were barely any in the last two games. You still can’t customize your adoptees though, just flip through the options to pick the ones you like the most.

I kind of struggled with the Virtual Families games because they run on real time and my adoptees would end up severely neglected when I just didn’t have time to play, but there is an option to pause when you’re away, I just didn’t want to and wanted the game to progress naturally.

What I do really like about Virtual Families is that the adoptees have minds of their own and you can kind of watch them lives their lives and imagine little personalities for them. It’s a lot more casual than the other games and you probably have the most freedom here to do whatever you want although there are not as many things to do.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Character Design: 2/4 (You can’t customize your own characters but there’s more variety here in the randomized designs and the art isn’t as ugly and janky as in the previous two Virtual Families games)

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Home Design: 2/4 (Home design isn’t as big of a thing in the Virtual Families games but there is a decent variety in furniture and objects to put in your house and you could probably have some fun with it if you’re creative. The art style isn’t that great though)

👨‍👩‍👧‍👧 Gameplay: 7/10 (Like I said, what I like is watching the little adoptees go about their lives or dropping them around to pick up the debris on the floor to look for collectibles. In this game there are also a lot of little funny random events like getting random phone calls or being given random choices to make that can have positive or negative outcomes. Occasionally you’ll be given problems to solve like needing to repair or hire someone to repair something, or once I lost the TV remote and had to look around my house for it then send someone to retrieve it. It makes the experience more varied and engaging and makes you feel more involved in progressing)

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Playtime vs. Wait Time: 3/4 (You can pretty much play indefinitely watching your adoptees except that can get boring especially if they’re just eating or sleeping. My adoptees kept getting really tired and I would just send them to sleep and exit out, then when I came back they would be out of bed and still extremely tired lol. But once they did get enough sleep I got to spend more time with them until they had to do something else boring like work or eat)

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Total: 14/22

4. The Sims Freeplay

Developer: Electronic Arts

Release Date: Dec. 15, 2011

This game was pretty disappointing when I played it years and years ago hoping to be able to play the Sims while on the go, and it’s still pretty disappointing now even though I have more understanding of why they can’t put the actual full Sims game on my phone, especially not for free.

The most disappointing thing about this game is not just the long wait times, which are annoying on their own, but the constant ads that pop up any time you do a task that’s more than like 3 minutes. Some of these ads aren’t even skippable. This made it pretty much unplayable for me up to a point, until I figured out how to strategize to do the shortest tasks possible, and until a limited time special event thing came up that gave me something else to do without having to constantly wait or dodge ads.

That being said, this game does have the unique charm of being a lot more similar to the classic Sims computer games, with a similar art style and even the same or similar music and sound effects. If you have patience (or if you pay to play) I can see this being a lot more satisfying and I’ve seen people do really cool things on this game as far as building storylines around their sims and building really impressive houses. But I don’t think this game really works as a casual free-to-play game, it’s much too frustrating and monotonous for the average player.

💚 Character Design: 2/4 (limited options for facial features and not as many options for clothing as The Sims Mobile, plus the low-poly look is not very appealing; I know it’s an older game but since it’s still being maintained I’d think they would have upgraded it a little and added more variety over the last 10 years)

💚 Home Design: 4/4 (editing your home in this game feels a lot like in the Sims 3 and like I said I’ve seen people build awesome mansions in this game so I think this is definitely one of the best aspects of the game)

💚 Gameplay: 5/10 (I was going to give it a worse score given the insufferable, unskippable pop-up ads but I did give it credit for the limited time/seasonal events which are easier to play uninterrupted and add some variety to the game, at least the one I played did. I was able to find this game somewhat tolerable also by only doing the shortest tasks possible to avoid ads and then exiting out whenever an ad popped so I could just come back a little later, although the need to do that was also annoying in itself)

(Note/Edit: A very nice anon pointed out that you can avoid ads in games that don’t need a constant internet connection by turning off your wifi/internet while playing, and this seemed to work with FreePlay as long as you are connected to the main game before you turn off internet! You won’t be able to do everything in the game but you can still play in the main world with your Sims in their houses and do longer tasks without getting an ad pop-up if you temporarily disable internet on your device. I’m not going to fully change the score and ranking since I don’t think that’s how the game was intended to be played and needing to turn off wifi to play is kind of inconvenience in itself but the game definitely is definitely more like a 6/10 or 7/10 if you do this.)

💚 Playtime vs. Wait Time: 2/4 (Absolutely would have given it a 1/4 but the event saved it from that, you can play for longer stretches of time when there’s an event, but of course that only applies to playing the event and not the main game)

💚 Total: 13/22

5. Virtual Families 2

Developer: LDW Software, LLC

Release Date: Dec. 6, 2012

All of the Virtual Families games are pretty similar overall so I won’t go into a lot of detail for these last two but basically Virtual Families 2 has more variety in things to do than the first Virtual Families, especially in terms of home design and things to unlock throughout the game. It also has a slight visuals upgrade, although the character designs are still pretty janky for something that came out in the 2010s imo.

Also this game has a bug where if you do something the tutorial was supposed to teach you before the tutorial is over, you’re forever stuck in tutorial mode unless you completely start over, just a heads up.

👨‍👩‍👧 Character Design: 1/4 (While the janky character designs do kind of give it a retro charm for me this game really didn’t come out all THAT long ago and the designs and animations are pretty wonky. I know Last Day of Work/LDW isn’t an enormous company like EA or anything but from what I understand they had relatively good amount of success in the early casual mobile games sphere, and since this is a sequel I’d expect a little more of a visuals upgrade than this but that’s just me)

👨‍👩‍👧 Home Design: 2/4 (Same deal as Virtual Families 3, more furniture options and opportunity to expand your home but art style is lacking and doesn’t feel like a central aspect of the game)

👨‍👩‍👧 Gameplay: 6/10 (Just a little less varied than VF3 and a little more than VF1)

👨‍👩‍👧 Playtime vs. Wait Time: 3/4 (Same exact deal as VF3)

👨‍👩‍👧 Total: 12/22

6. Virtual Families Lite

Developer: LDW Software, LLC

Release Date: June 3, 2009

Phew, you know a game is old when it has “Lite” in the title. This is one of the first smartphone games I EVER played (though when I first played it I didn’t have a smartphone, just a 1st gen iPod Touch); in fact, I’m not 100% sure, but this might actually be the first smartphone game I ever played, and I do remember it fondly. I want to make it clear that I’m rating it now on the experience of playing it today in 2021 relative to the other mobile games I’ve played and reviewed, being that the purpose of this blog is to hopefully give people an idea of what games they’d like to play, and hyping up a 12-year-old game as though it holds up more than it does for nostalgia’s sake doesn’t fulfill that purpose imo.

That said, this game does hold up fairly well, but definitely pales in comparison to its sequels and other options now available. This game is still worth playing if all you want is to have a little virtual family to check in on from time to time and don’t really want to do much else. Otherwise it doesn’t offer anything that its sequels doesn’t save for its nostalgic charm and uniquely terrifying art style.

👩‍👦Character Design: 1/4 (Same as VF2 but uglier)

👩‍👦Home Design: 1/4 (The house already has everything in it and you can’t rearrange anything, which is convenient but boring. You can upgrade your work stations though)

👩‍👦Gameplay: 5/10 (Same as VF2 but a little less variety)

👩‍👦 Playtime vs. Wait Time: 3/4 (Same deal as the other two, although watching your family is arguably more boring when there are less things to do, but it’s also more convenient when you already have all the furniture and appliances you need right off the bat so it balances)

👩‍👦Total: 10/22

If you got here to the end, even if you just skimmed through, thank you so much for reading 😍 Follow me for more mobile game reviews, articles and commentary 🥳

[amyisherenowitsokay]

RE: MHNY - Update

Hey all!

In case you missed my previous text post, the tldr of my life is currently that I’ve been experiencing some ongoing, debilitating health problems since, well, forever, but over the past couple months my symptoms have suddenly gotten significantly worst for no reason. As a result, Ch. 10 is currently delayed while I do everything under the sun to stay as functional as I can.

The good news is I’ve changed providers completely, and am now seeing a renowned specialist in my specific weird sect of disability issues. He’s far more attentive and interested in my quality of life than my original PCP (a big fuck you to her for all but rolling her eyes at me during our last phone call for being concerned about signs of neurological deterioration and not being satisfied with “well what would you like to do?” as though I’M the doctor), and has already taken more diagnostic information in 3 days than I’ve had in my entire experience at my previous provider. I start labs on Friday, the 6th, to hopefully confirm all his current theories about what’s been going on with me, but I feel much more confident in his hands.

The bad news is I’m looking at about very extensive sleep studies, stress tests, cardio exams, etc. I’m also currently job hunting. I’m also currently working. I’m also still managing my portfolio website + social media + generating new content. I’m also currently still experiencing all of my new symptoms, which are getting progressively worse. I’m also responsible for still managing all the things I do at home like cooking, cleaning, helping with my sister’s dogs, etc. 

I’m also still--

The point being it’s a lot. Ch. 10 is getting its second rewrite because the original concept I had felt real flat to me, and I wanna try again since I’m stalling on y’all anyways. I think you’ll all like the second version that’s in the works, and I hope it’s worth the wait. Thank you all for your patience and support <3 I will post more updates as I’m able. Stay safe.

[athela-3]

crushing defeat

1.7k words; gen/comedy; hints of shipping if you blink, look here, and look away again; if everyone gives aspec vibes that’s my bad, I have no idea how allos work; 3 am nonsense is practically its own genre; mild language (canon-typical); no content warnings.

Yuki’s never had a crush before. Normally that’s not a problem, but now that he really needs to know what it’s like, nobody else in Mankai can seem to give him a straight answer. And what does cake have to do with anything?

“You. Elite Swindler. What's it like to have a crush?”

Itaru looks up from his phone and finds himself face-to-face with Yuki's inquisitive eyes. “Um.” He blinks, stalling for time while he forces his brain to take a U-turn from his game. “Why do you ask?”

Yuki sighs, swatting aside a strand of hair and tucking it behind his ear. “My character's supposed to be in love, but no matter how many times I try saying my lines it never sounds right. The Director said I should try asking around to get an idea what it's supposed to feel like, and you're sitting right here. So are you going to tell me or not?”

“Huh.” Well, that sounds like something she would do, Itaru concedes. He sits up, placing his phone face down on the sofa next to him. “If I have to describe it, I'd say it's inconvenient. Just because you like someone doesn't mean you'd like liking them. It's kind of like pulling a gacha and getting an SSR. If it's your favourite character, cool, but if it's a character you don't like and you already have three other copies of the exact same card, and now you have to grind all over again… not cool.”

Yuki rolls his eyes, and for a second Itaru thinks he's about to be on the business end of his trademark sarcastic zingers again. “But what is it like? It can't be as sappy as it looks like in Muku's manga.” Beat. Slowly, with dread creeping into his voice: “Is it?”

Itaru opens his mouth to answer, only for a better idea to spring into mind. He cranes his head to look into the kitchen, where Homare is nursing a cup of some fragrant tea blend with a complicated, bougie name. “Hey, Homare? How would you describe the feeling of falling in love?”

There's a brief pause, filled only with Yuki's wide-eyed Oh-No-You-Didn't stare, which Itaru diligently avoids. Then Homare places his teacup on the saucer with a gentle plink and replies, with the absolute certainty of an astronomer looking at the night sky: “Devotion astride with every doki doki… a sugary somnambulism, nefelibata's mazurka of watchfulness, feather-light fingertips painting patient litanies!”

“Exactly.” Itaru grins. “See? It's not that hard.”

Yuki's expression is flat, but Itaru thinks he can see the gears turning inside his head. Eventually he sighs. “Fine. You've made your point.”

“Look, that's all I've got,” Itaru shrugs. “Besides, why don't you ask someone who definitely knows what it's like? Have you tried asking Muku?”

“Duh. He tried to hand me a bunch of romance manga for reference. But that's fiction. If I want my acting to be realistic, I need to look at real life examples.”

“Why not ask Masumi then?”

“And listen to him babble about the Director for the next three hours?”

“Mm. Kazunari?”

“I'm not an idiot. I already asked everyone in my troupe.”

“Tsumugi?”

“I would, but he's not home. Tasuku says he's out tutoring. And before you start, I already asked the Muscle Freak. He mumbled something about high expectations and ran off.”

“Citron?”

“You've got to be kidding me.”

“Taichi?”

“The Dumb Dog? That's… a good idea. Plus I needed to check on his sewing anyway, he's supposed to finish them this—”

“Yo, Taruchi, where are you? Don't just go AFK on me like that!”

They turn to see Banri emerging from the stairwell, phone in hand and an annoyed look in his face. Itaru waves him over at once, relieved to find a potential back-up partner. “Banri! You gotta help me out, man. I need you to describe what having a crush is like.”

Banri stares slack-jawed, caught totally off-guard. “A crush? It's distracting, that's what. I mean, they're all you can think about, right? No matter what you're doing or where you go, you just keep thinkin' about 'em.”

Itaru snaps his fingers. “Right! And you know you've got it bad when you keep finding excuses to be around them. Or when you do weird stuff to get their attention, like giving them things or teasing them or picking fights with them—”

“Why would you pick a fight with someone you like?” Yuki squints, thoroughly unimpressed. “You can't expect them to fight with you and then magically like you back afterwards. That's just stupid.”

“Well,” Itaru grins, “it is.”

“Ah, but such is love!” rejoins Homare, his sentence punctuated by a neat clink as he places his drained teacup in the sink. “Even the greatest of geniuses are fools when it comes to love. Perhaps I should write a poem about that… the overripe ache of tenderness, rotting one's mind even as it enriches the soul…”

Banri shakes his head sharply. “Yeah, whatever. Just get the interrogation done with so we can start the next match.” With that, he marches off into the kitchen, brushing past Homare without a word to fetch a glass of water.

As the poet leaves, still murmuring fancy thesaurus words under his breath, Itaru turns to Yuki and raises his eyebrows. “So? Think you got a better idea now?”

“A little,” Yuki admits. “You're not so useless after all.”

“Huh. I don't know what I expected. Guess I'll take what I can get.”

At that moment, the front door swings open, and in walks Juza, carrying a bag full of groceries in each hand. Behind him is the Director, bearing an identical bag in her arms and pulling the door shut behind her with her foot. “We're home!” she shouts.

“Welcome home, Director, Juza. Whoa, that's a lot of loot today.”

She laughs. “Turned out there was a sale, and since it's important that we save money I thought we might as well stock up ahead. I was lucky Juza came along to help, otherwise I couldn't have carried all of this back alone.”

While she stops by to talk, Juza keeps heading for the kitchen to unpack his groceries, only stopping when he realises his roommate is blocking the way. When it becomes apparent Banri has no intention to step aside, a scowl clouds over his face. “Move.”

A corner of Banri's mouth quirks upward. “Or what? You can't touch me, your hands are full.”

“Don't have to. You can stand there if you want, but the Director won't like it.”

Begrudgingly, Banri inches aside just enough for Juza to squeeze through. When he sees the topmost layer of groceries, he makes a small wolf-whistle. “Three bottles of strawberry milk? What d'you think this is, Hyodo, a damn onsen?”

“Ya gonna stand there babblin', or ya gonna make yourself useful?”

“Nah, I'm good.”

“Oh, Banri? Since you're already in the kitchen, and you're not doing anything,” the Director chimes in, industrial-grade cheerfulness dripping from her every word, “why don't you help me make dinner?”

Itaru snorts. “Curry duty? Ouch. I'll press F for you later.”

“Actually, tonight is sweet and sour pork. I got a deal on bell peppers, but they have to be eaten quickly,” she tells him, before calling out to Banri: “You can start by washing and chopping them, by the way.”

“The Currian chooses not to make curry?” If Yuki's eyebrows rose any higher, they'd completely disappear behind his fringe. “Did you hit your head on the door coming in?”

“I'm sorry, we can have curry tomorrow if that's what you want,” the Director smiles sweetly, and Itaru wonders if this is what she's like in the office. He tries picturing her giving instructions to her juniors and suggestions to her superiors, all in that inhumanly saccharine tone of voice. The mental image alone gives him the chills. “Oh! How's your role study, Yuki?”

“Eh, it's a work in progress.” He pauses, eyeing her with a slight squint. Oh, no, Itaru thinks, here we go again. “But now that you're here, why don't you tell me what you think a crush is like?”

“Me? I haven't had a crush since…” her voice trails off. She walks to the kitchen, places her groceries on the counter, and starts unpacking them alongside Juza. “I don't remember. What I do remember is that when you've fallen in love with someone, you want them to be happy. You remember the little things they like and don't like, because there's no feeling like seeing them smile and knowing it's because of you, or something you did. If they're happy, you're happy. But if they're upset about something, then you feel bad too, even if it wasn't your fault.”

Yuki hums a wordless acknowledgement, face scrunched in thought. “And you?”

Silence. After a few seconds, Juza looks up from the cabinet he is currently stuffing with raw pasta. “…Me?”

“Yeah, dumbass. Who else?” Banri snorts. “Oi, gimme the pineapple. I can't find it in this mess.”

“Didn't get any.”

“What, so we're making sweet and sour pork without pineapple? Who eats sweet and sour pork without—” Realisation dawns in his eyes. He blinks, as if startled, glances at the Director, and looks away again. “Oh. Huh. Well, that's interesting.”

“Whatcha talkin' 'bout, Settsu?”

“None of your business. Now answer the damn question already so we can cook in peace.”

“We ain't cooking, you are,” Juza points out. “An' I dunno.”

“You don't know?” Yuki presses impatiently. “Or you're not telling?”

“Dunno. Never had a crush.”

“Tch. Of course you've never liked anyone. All you like is cake.”

Itaru nods comprehendingly, shooting up in his seat. ”Banri's got a point, you know, the cake does kind of give it away. Bet you also like dragons.”

“Wait,” Yuki interjects, “what's cake got to do with anything?”

“You don't know?” Itaru twists to face the boy completely. “Aw, man. I thought you of all people would know. Do you like cake?”

“What does it matter?”

“C'mon, it's just a yes or no question!”

“They're OK? I'm not that big on sweets, but I like the really pretty cakes. Especially the ones with edible flowers on top.”

“The real question is,�� Banri looks up from the cutting board and points the knife at Yuki, “would you rather fall in love or eat cake?”

“What kinda stupid question is that?” Juza mutters, still playing grocery Tetris with the cabinet and therefore completely missing the death glare Banri sends his way.

“Shut your cakehole, nobody asked you.”

Yuki's brows furrow, and Itaru notices his eyes flickering to Juza before he settles on a reply. “If I had to choose, I guess I'd choose cake. Having a crush sounds so exhausting. Besides, I know what cake's like, so I know what I'm getting myself into.”

Itaru claps his hands together, triumphant. “See? Congratulations, you're Team Cake! Don't worry about the dragons, we'll get there when you’re ready.”

“But what does any of it have to do with—you know what, forget it.” Yuki throws his hands into the air, mere millimetres away from clocking Itaru's head. “I should've asked someone who knows what they're talking about. You guys are hopeless.” With that, he turns on his heels and makes his exit, presumably off to interview the next hapless sap to cross his path.

“Good luck!” the Director calls out.

Itaru shakes his head. “And here I thought we'd get more affinity points than that,” he mutters. “Talk about being hard to please.”

“Don't blame him, it is a tough subject to crack,” she points out. “Oh, does that mean you're free right now? In that case, can you please make some rice while I get the pork ready?”

“Welp. Is this a mandatory quest?” She nods, and he sighs, slowly stretching to his feet and pocketing his phone. “All right. But you owe me cake. All this talk's got me craving a slice.”

“I'll grab you some tomorrow, how's that sound?”

Banri's head snaps up again. “Hey, if he gets cake for helping, then how come I don't?”

“You don't even like cake,” Juza grumbles.

“I’m just sayin’, it ain’t fair. And don’t pretend you don’t want some.”

She reaches past them to grab the packet of pork on the table and laughs. “All you had to do was ask. You know what? I'll get you cake. Both of you.” She pauses to scratch her chin. “Come to think about it, maybe I should just get a nice big cake for everyone to share. I've got a feeling we're all gonna need it come tomorrow.”

[one-leaf-grimoire]

Medieval AU

Hi I decided to write a little something based off that knight x king au I came up with for JuLisa!

Some background: the Clover Kingdom is mostly the same, but no one has magic. It is ruled by the double monarchy as well. In a less technologically progressive society, members of all classes are able to join the Knights Squads, which are the same as in canon. However, nobles are automatically given higher ranks while commoners and peasants are seen as pawns that are often sent into battle to die. However, there is a new King who is trying to change all that, but he doesn’t expect to meet someone interesting at the annual jousting tournament...

"LISA! I DEMAND YOU STOP THIS FOOLISHNESS AT ONCE!"

The young woman looked up in surprise, her hands still running through the mane of a large horse she was preparing to climb onto. The source of the anger directed her way was none other than her captain, Fuegoleon Vermillion. The knight was almost as red in the face as his flaming locks, and he looked like he was about to pop a vein in his temple. Uh oh- she thought, already steeling herself for what was about to happen. "H-Hi, Captain. What brings you to the stables-"

"You know bloody well why I'm here!" Fuegoleon stormed over before stopping before her. He huffed through his nose, not unlike the steed Lisa was grooming. "I cannot allow you to do this."

"Do what? Participate? Sir, it'll be fine." Lisa smiled happily to herself, unfazed, before turning back to her horse to check the armor on its head. "Randall got sick, and asked for a volunteer to take his place in the joust! So, here I am."

This answer did not satisfy Fuegoleon. "Lisa... you're one of our newest members. The jousting tournament is meant for only the most experienced knights." His anger faded slightly, his voice softening with concern. "There's a real chance that... well... y-you-"

"I could die?" Lisa finished, her hands stalling for just a moment as they adjusted the straps.

"... yes. You're far too young to die," Fuegoleon agreed, pursing his lips together for a moment.

"... I disagree. Many people in this country die far younger than I am now." Despite the grim thought, Lisa smiled brightly up at her captain. "Plus, I'm not gonna die!"

Her blind enthusiasm was refreshing but still worrying to the older knight. Fuegoleon prided his squad, the Crimson Lions, and cared immensely for even the newest members like Lisa. "You've never even jousted before."

Lisa shrugged. "So? The Lance is just a bigger version of my Rapier! You poke with both of them after all." To punctuate her point, Lisa poked at the air with an invisible sword. "I'll be fine! Promise."

Fuegoleon still wasn't satisfied, but he didn't get a chance to object again.

"Fuego! Leave her alone and come over here."

Fuegoleon turned to see Sei, his vice-captain and husband, walking over. He looked a bit annoyed, as if he had been searching the whole venue for a while. "They're selling big turkey legs out there, come buy me one."

"Oh? That sounds good!" Fuegoleon was distracted enough for Sei to grab his hand and start dragging him away.

Sei glanced back at Lisa as they left. "Good luck out there. Don't die."

"You knew?!" Fuegoleon asked, having no choice but to leave Lisa to her fate at this point.

"Of course I did." Sei let out a long sigh as they stepped out of the stables and walked towards the loud stadium. Many people were already gathered there, excited for the spectacle to come. "I think she'll be fine. She won't die, anyway."

Fuegoleon wanted to believe Sei's words, so he just nodded and pushed the thought out of his mind, but he was not looking forward for the tournament to begin.

Not long after, Lisa slipped her helmet on over her head, the edge resting just below her brow. I wish they gave me a set that actually fit, she thought, trying to ignore the fact that her hands were shaking quite a bit. Despite her confident words, she couldn't help but take some of Fuegoleon's warnings to heart. People did die often at these things, especially younger knights just like her. But, if I win, I'll be rewarded money and status, she reminded herself, taking a deep breath as she fidgeted in the saddle, waiting for one of the stable hands to give her the go-ahead. And if I die... well, at least I got to experience everything.

“Do I have to stay the whole time? I want to leave-”

“No! You are absolutely not going to leave early.”

Marx Francois, the royal advisor/babysitter, was already stressed out enough. But to his ire, the King himself, Julius Novachrono, was growing bored of the spectacle. Julius was strange for a monarch, having spent most of his life as a knight before becoming the head of one of the monarchy’s two ruling houses. He was eccentric, to put it simply. “I thought you’d like getting away from work for some fun, anyway.”

“Fun? This isn’t fun,” Julius grumbled. The tall man was slumped in his comfortable chair, the crown he hated wearing tilted upon his blonde hair. “It’s borderline barbaric.” He eyed the jousting strip as medics dragged off the last bout’s loser on a stretcher. “Honestly, I don’t understand why Kira has us continue this tradition… I’d rather be doing work.”

Marx sighed, not sure what to make of the man. “Well, you’re the one who hands out the awards at the end, so you have to stick around.”

Their conversation was cut short as the crowd cheered and the next two participants emerged from the stables. One was a member of the esteemed Silver Eagles, sitting proudly upon his horse in his fancy armor. And the other…

“Isn’t Randall supposed to be riding for the Crimson Lions?” Julius asked before Marx could. “That’s… definitely not Randall.”

He was right, the rider wearing the red cape was much smaller than Randall. Their face and figure was obscured by their armor, hiding their identity. “They must have substituted him… is that Seiros…” Marx’s voice trailed off as he looked to the stands beside them, immediately spotting Sei sitting next to Fuegoleon. “Never mind. Huh.” 

He turned back to the strip right as the referee started to yell.

“READY! SET! CHARGE!!!!”

The two riders raced at each other. In a moment, it was over. The Silver knight’s lance hit squarely in the middle of the small knight with a dangerous CRACK. But somehow, the Lion knight managed to stay upright as the opponents came to a stop at the ends of the strip.

“Yikes! I’m surprised they made it though,” Marx commented. “That wasn’t a light tap at all.”

The opponents were already gearing up to go again. Julius found himself holding his breath as they charged. The smaller knight was faster this time, and thrust their lance forward before they were in range. The feint caught their opponent off guard, planting in the middle of their shield. With a yell, the Silver Eagles knight slipped off the back of their horse and slammed into the sandy ground with a resounding clang.

The crowd erupted into cheers as the Crimson Lion knight did a victory lap before heading off into the stables again. Marx looked down, surprised to see Julius clapping more enthusiastically than he had before. “Oh? I see you like the underdog.”

“I wouldn’t call them an underdog, Marx.” Julius smiled to himself before letting his hands fall back to the arms of his chair. “It’s obvious to me… that knight is very, very strong.”

A couple matches later, it was time for the finals. Fuegoleon stormed back into the stables, his heart pounding. She made it to the finals! I didn’t expect this outcome, but now she has to face one more opponent… and I’m afraid it will be the last thing she does.

Lisa, already mounted on her horse again, grinned triumphantly as she spotted Fuegoleon. “Captain! What did I tell you?”

“I’m glad you’re doing well, but listen.” Fuegoleon came to a stop next to her horse. “Your final opponent… is Xerx Lugner of the Purple Orcas. Last year, he won the tournament, but he also-”

“He killed his opponent by accident, right?” Lisa finished. “I told you, don’t worry so much about that! I’m not going to die. And even if I do-” Her smile faded for just a moment, making Fuegoleon’s stomach lurch. Even SHE’s nervous… “I’ve already come in second place. Isn’t that good for the squad?”

Fuegoleon didn’t answer right away. He didn’t really understand what was beyond Lisa’s seemingly blind enthusiasm… no, her fatalistic enthusiasm. This was a girl who had something to prove, and she would go down in flames if it meant she could do that. 

“... no. Second place isn’t good enough.”

Fuegoleon smiled for the first time, catching Lisa off guard.

“Stay alive… because you have to win. Get first place, that’s an order!”

After a moment, Lisa matched his smile, and saluted. “Yes, sir!”

With that, she closed her helmet, and turned to enter the bright sunlight once again.

The crowd was cheering loudly, but she couldn’t hear it over the sound of her heart beating. It echoes around her armor. She glanced at the crowd, astounded that all of them were looking at her right now.

Before she knew it, the call to charge rung out, and she shot towards Xerx with her lance ahead of her.

She didn’t think about the crowd in that moment. Nor her squad. Nor her family. All Lisa could see was her opponent, above the tip of his lance.

With the same determination as earlier, Lisa thrust her lance forward. But unlike her last opponents, Xerx anticipated the move. He swung his lance around hers with perfect accuracy. Lisa’s eyes widened when she realized what was about to happen.

SHIT! NO-

CRACK

The lance slammed into Lisa’s upper arm, the one holding her own weapon, and the horses raced past each other.

Lisa’s vision spun, but somehow she remained on her horse. She skidded to a stop, and was immediately swarmed by medics.

“Are you alright?! Here-” one of them reached up and tried to take the lance out of her limp hand. 

However, Lisa suddenly straightened up, her grasp tightening. “No! I’m fine. Get out of the way, I’m about to go again!” she gave them a confident smile, and the medics scattered.

“Yikes… that looked nasty, but they’re not hurt!” Marx said, relieved as he watched with baited breath. He didn’t expect to get so attached, but here he was. “I’m surprised, Xerx must be losing his touch.”

Marx didn’t notice, but Julius’s smile had dropped.

No, Marx… that’s not what happened at all…

Lisa clenched her teeth so hard she thought they might shatter. Her arm was on fire, and it took everything in her to keep her lance up. This… this is nothing…

Julius’s grip tightened on the edge of his chair. This knight… she…

A broken arm is nothing! 

Lisa turned her horse towards Xerx once again. 

For some reason, Julius found himself smiling.

I don’t know why… I don’t know how… but…

“CHARGE!”

LIsa kicked her steed.

For my squad… and for me, I have to win!

Julius held his breath along with the rest of the audience.

Somehow…

Lisa thrust her lance once again with a cry of adrenaline.

I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life!!!!

Lisa was faster this time, and knew what Xerx would do. She countered his parry, leaving his chest wide open. With one last burst of speed, the lance planted right in the middle of his armor. With a strangled, frustrated yell, Xerx went flying off his horse and fell to the ground below.

The crowd burst into applause as Lisa slowed to a stop, but her mind wasn’t on her win. It was hot inside her armor, and her broken arm finally gave out. Her lance slipped to the ground as she reached up to take off her helmet.

Julius rose to his feet as he clapped, grinning. “You chose a good one to root for!” Marx told him happily.

“Of course I did! I’d like to think I have good taste!” Julius looked back out at the knight as they fumbled with their helmet. How exciting! I hope their arm is ok… I can’t wait to congratulate them person… personally…

Julius’s mind blanked on that last word, because the knight finally lifted off their helmet before dropping it to the ground. Short hair popped out from its confine, fluffing up to its usual shape. The knight reached up to smooth it back out of their face, revealing their identity to be a woman… 

She…

Julius was frozen in place, his mouth halfway open, as she opened her eyes, and gave a triumphant smile to the crowd.

She’s… so… beautiful.

He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Marx was saying something, but his voice was just a faint wah wah wah in Julius’s ears. 

It wasn’t just her face… it was the strength that radiated from her whole body. Despite being tired and injured, the knight continued to smile, the adrenaline of victory shining from every pore. She was stunning and terrifying at the same time, and it wasn’t until she rode off the strip again that Juilus came back to his senses.

“JULIUS! Wake up!”

Julius looked down at Marx, who was pulling at his sleeve. “Huh?”

“Don’t huh me!” Marx glared up at him. “Come on, we have to go get the awards ready.”

Julius quickly hurried off to prepare, even though his mind was spinning like a helicopter. 

Who knew… the knight I was rooting for this whole time… was such a cute girl!!!

Ten minutes later, she was in his presence again, this time standing alongside Xerx and Alecdora, the third place winner, on the podium. Her arm was in a sling, confirming Julius’s suspicion that she had broken it in the last bout. Amazing… I’ve never seen someone pull through that kind of thing before. Julius stepped up, and the three knights kneeled down before him. 

Julius quickly gave Xerx and Alecdora their medals before turning to the woman, his heart racing. Trying to keep a straight face, he smiled regally and held up her medal. “Congratulations… Sir Petalon.”

Lisa Petalon…

Lisa smiled up at him before bowing her head. Julius slipped the medal around her neck, his hand brushing against her hair for just a moment.

...s-soft…

Once it was in place, Julius stepped back, but left one of his hands outstretched, a purple ring shining upon it. It was traditional for the winner to kiss the monarch’s ring out of respect, especially after being honored in this way. Lisa reached up to take his hand, pulling the ring towards her face. But to Julius’s surprise, she missed the ring, her lips meeting the skin of his knuckle. 

...S-SOFT-

Julius felt his whole face heat up, and his smile faltered just a bit, shocked by the bold gesture. He didn’t know if it was on purpose or not, but Lisa’s gaze was meeting him from below her lashes. Then… she smiled at him, almost knowingly.

“Thank you… your majesty.”

He knew, in that very moment… he would never think of anything but her eyes again.

She was going to drive him mad.

Julius’s smile strengthened again, despite how hard his heart was pounding. Regretfully, his hand slipped out of her grasp, and he turned back to the crowd. The applause strengthened, many rising to their feet along with the winners.

Lisa grinned and waved at Fuegoleon and Sei in the crowd. Fuegoleon was clapping louder than anyone, tears almost forming in his eyes. She did so well! Who would have thought- But she still got her arm broken-

Julius didn’t dare look back as he walked off with Marx towards his carriage. He was ready for this hot, sweaty day to be over, but at the same time…

I’m glad I met someone interesting...

[radramblog]

Planeswalkers in Cube: White

It’s been a while since I’ve discussed cube, I think, and also a while since I’ve just dived into a stupidly long topic without thinking too hard about it. And so here we go.

Planeswalkers are kind of in an interesting place in Cubes. Most of the time, they’re powerful midrange or control threats, but a lot of them have more specialised roles that can make them better suited to particular cubes. They’re also popular to include, seeing as they’re big, cool, and splashy, and a lot of people really like playing with them. What home exists for something like Liliana, Death’s Majesty in any other format? (I know it’s fine in commander hush)

However, you can only afford so many slots for Walkers in your cube, depending on how you treat them. And so, you’re not going to see all of them very often. Here, we’re going to go through all of them, colour by colour, and figure out why you should or shouldn’t play them, and which go better in different builds. Starting off, as many things do, with Mono-White.

Some ground rules: I’m not going to talk about the Planeswalker deck cards in this post, because the answer to whether you should play them is pretty much universally “no, why”. I’m also not going to talk about the creature->planeswalker transform cards, because they get treated more like creatures in a Cube environment. Jace, Vryn’s Prodigy is kinda just Merfolk Looter.

My next point before I talk actual cards: I’m far from an expert on this sort of thing, and this is going to be my opinions! If you want a different perspective, Season 4 episode 6 of Solely Singleton is a great podcast about this exact topic, though it’s two and a half years old at this point so some things might be a bit outdated.

Finally: White is a colour that tends to get more good Planeswalkers than other colours. Turns out, most Gideons and token-producing walkers are good in slower decks, who’d a thunk it. So unlike, say, Black, the average here is a bit higher than most of the time.

Let’s get into it!

 Ajani Goldmane

Ajani is kind of a classic, but the original iteration is kind of showing its 14 years of age. It’s a 4-mana walker (which is a very competitive slot) with a +1 that doesn’t really do anything, a turn-3 ultimate that dies to removal, and while the minus is good (see cards like Unbreakable Formation, or other Ajanis), it requires a board and isn’t really worth a four mana cast.

I had thought he’d be good in more budget lists, though. Except he hasn’t been printed since 2010 and so even though he sees no play he’s still like 5 bucks. So I’d pass on this version of cat dad.

 Elspeth, Knight-Errant

On the other hand, Elspeth pt.1 is still one of the best Planeswalkers you can play. She makes blockers for days, can push through some serious damage, and does both of those things while getting more resilient rather than less. Her ultimate might not be game-breaking, but since she’s constantly pushing towards it anyway you don’t really mind. Also she’s only 4 mana, holy moly.

Elspeth is good in aggro, good in midrange, and arguably still more than playable in control. At 12ish dollars, it’s not the ideal price point, but if you can afford it (or have one sitting around), she’s absolutely worth the include.

 Gideon Jura

Gideon 1 is a bit more specific. Aggro is not going to want him, seeing as the minus does basically nothing in that deck and the +2 isn’t really worth your time at 5 mana. On the other hand, this card is nuts in control. It’s a hard-to-kill wincon that is also removal that fuels its own condition and survives boardwipes. Gideon Jura is a chad in those decks, and kind of takes over the game the moment he comes down.

The other nice thing about Gideon Jura is that due to recent reprints in Mystery Booster and his Signature Spellbook, as well as not being very good in Commander, he’s ludicrously cheap. You can get one of these for under a dollar, making it perfect for budget cubes (that still include rares). Although, at that point, he might be warping to a cheaper format where aggro is worse, so keep an eye on him.

 Elspeth Tirel

Elspeth’s second incarnation (which is the one with her last name, because ???) is significantly worse than her first. If you’re in a slower deck where you want the ultimate, she’s probably not going to live to make it there. If you want the tokens, there are better options at cheaper mana costs. And you don’t want the +2, unless you somehow have a decent board against a red aggro deck.

I remember really liking this card when I first started playing Magic. That was a long time ago, and we have had much better options in the near-decade since then.

 Ajani, Caller of the Pride

The first 3-mana walker on this list, and one that shows the conservativeness WoTC had when first testing them at that mana cost. Just kidding, this came out after Liliana of the Veil.

Ajani 3is theoretically fine in an aggressive deck, but white has some seriously good 3-drop creatures that you’d rather just cast instead. Because when your options are a Blade Splicer or putting a +1/+1 counter on your two drop…I’m taking that token. And let’s not act like this card has any place in a midrange or control deck.

 Gideon, Champion of Justice

This was the first Planeswalker I ever opened, so I have a soft spot for it. But not enough of one to put it in my cube.

As potentially threatening as this Gideon is, he basically doesn’t do anything? While token decks might have a hard time taking him out, seeing as his loyalty can get pretty huge against them, they can also just block him forever. The ultimate is a game-ender, but also would leave Gideon so small that your opponent might just have enough time to draw lands and get back in the game. And he doesn’t do anything to protect himself aside from get big, and doesn’t really progress your board, so. Sorry Gids, you’ll get them next time.

 Elspeth, Sun’s Champion

Elspeths alternate being good, I guess. Elspeth, Sun’s Champion is basically unplayable outside of slow midrange or control, but is utterly incredible in those decks! She wipes out anything that would threaten her and makes enough blockers to easily protect either herself or you, and stalls long enough that those tokens can turn into a wincon via her ultimate.

It is not as universally powerful as the four-drop Elspeth, but the 6-drop one undeniably shapes the game when she hits the table. She stops aggro in its tracks, and nukes the shit out of midrange, especially green-based decks. I suppose there are times when she might be awkward to cast because she hits your own threats…but then just hold her back or +1, dude.

 Ajani Steadfast

Ajani Steadfast is kind of trying to be a better version of Ajani Goldmane. And yet, funnily enough, the Vigilance on Goldmane’s -1 is so important, as is being a -1 instead of a -2, so he’s kind of in a similar tier. The loyalty counter upside is so utterly niche that it might as well not exist, but the +1 is unquestionably much better at least.

Like with Goldmane, Ajani Steadfast isn’t really doing anything at 4 that cheaper cards don’t do better. And he’s at about the same price point. At least the ultimate is better?

 Nahiri, the Lithomancer

Nahiri is really specific. Like, if you’re at a power level where you have equipment worth playing Nahiri with, then you’re probably at a power level where she’s completely outclassed by things like Angel of Invention or…I mean, most other playable 5s. And some unplayable ones.

…I just remembered this card has 3 starting loyalty. On a 5-drop walker. You can -2 her and she’ll die to literally a goblin token. I sure hope that Equipment you got had Living Weapon!

 Gideon, Ally of Zendikar

The first 4-drop that really steps to Elspeth, Knight-Errant. This Gideon is kind of just good in any deck- aggro decks like a 5/5 top end that makes a token T1 or just is an unkillable Glorious Anthem, midrange loves an infinite source of 2/2 to block or beat down with, and control loves an infinite source of blockers that can clean up after a wipe. He’s just kind of a disgusting piece of cardboard for a whole variety of decks, making him easily one of the best walkers in the entire format.

Also he’s…surprisingly cheap? After one “real” printing, and being on The List (which doesn’t do much, trust me), Gideon Ally of Zendikar is still only like 5 bucks. So if you can justify spending that much on one card…probably do that? He won’t let you down.

 Gideon of the Trials

Unlike our first 3-mana walker, this one is more than playable in slower decks. Gideon of the Trials is kind of awkward for aggressive decks, put what he does do is effectively remove some seriously big threats, adjust for whichever is the biggest problem around, and still punches peoples as a 4/4 Gideon. And he also has the unique benefit of being a Planeswalker that makes combo decks think twice, given that Emblem- though you’ll still go to 0 life if Splinter Twin or a similar combo is in play, and then die since they probably killed him too there.

Once again, though, this card is pretty cheap, sitting at about 3 bucks. As we get towards the more recent end of this list, a lot of these cards are going to look like that. I remember when I made my first cube, with the restriction of “Rares/Mythics that are under $2 US”, and getting 0 white Planeswalkers. I was playing the Planeswalker deck Gideon, for fuck’s sake! Things are so much better now.

Ajani, Adversary of Tyrants

I could never really get a good read on this Ajani. It’s obviously something control doesn’t want, and the +1 isn’t doing a huge amount in midrange decks. But the -2 is powerful in creature-based decks, and the +1 is solid for quicker builds, but not enough to really justify 4 mana? There’s a lot of power here, but the parts kind of form a strange whole.

I guess it depends a lot on how deep that 2-drop slot is in your cube, and how deep the 4-drop slot is. Because you kinda need good 2s and medium 4s for Ajani to really shine. I’m a little bothered by how meh Ajanis are apparently in general in Cube, but the multicoloured ones are a bit more solid.

 Gideon Blackblade

Take Gideon of the Trials, make it not playable in control, and make it really fucking good in aggressive decks. There you go, that’s Gideon Blackblade. Cheap in money and in mana, he’s here to die, aside from the part where he’s hard to kill.

The +1 on this card is not super great, but you have to keep in mind that you get that at the same time as Gideon being a creature. Honestly, it’s kind of easier to think of this card as a creature with a triggered ability than as a planeswalker, at least as far as cube is concerned. It also helps that the -6 isn’t actually that hard to hit, considering you can keep a creature back by giving it vigilance. He’s quite solid, and might just be the best aggro walker White gets. Certainly at 3, at least.

 Teyo, the Shieldmage

A bit of a step down from our last 3-drop, Teyo is clearly not built for the same formats as Gideon Blackblade. But with him, we can talk about weaker formats, like Peasant, where Teyo is…still not great? 3 mana gets you a pair of 0/3s and immunity to burn spells, which I suppose control might like in formats where you don’t really get board wipes, but I can’t imagine any other deck wanting him. And that’s not a great place to be.

 The Wanderer

Much like Teyo, I don’t think even Peasant wants this. I do think it’s kinda better- their static abilities are virtually the same, except Mx. ??? here extends the burn protection to your creatures. And they do serve as removal, but its both expensive and narrow. Like, how often is this just going to kill a 4/4 and then get killed by their 2/2? I wouldn’t play Smite the Monstrous but it gains 2 life.

I’m interested to see this character return at some point. Maybe next time they can be playable. Some of the uncommon walkers from WAR were great for Peasant (and some even in higher formats), but this isn’t one of them.

 Serra the Benevolent

Okay, so. 4 mana Serra Angel that can stick around to make another one is quite powerful! Though the +2 basically does nothing, it’s still a +2, meaning you can get an unkillable Worship the turn after you play this if you aren’t under pressure, or go token into pump into token. Serra is clearly quite solid!

However, it suffers from two issues. One, it’s competing for that 4-drop slot, and is less playable than Elspeth or Gideon in slower decks since she makes tokens slower than those two do. The tokens are more threatening for sure, but token decks generally want more tokens rather than bigger tokens. And two: it’s more expensive than Gideon and similar in price to Elspeth, not to mention another card we’ll get to later, so she’s not even getting into cheaper cubes. Since a lot of cube slots like this are taken by cards with more general playability, Serra is going to sit on the sidelines more often than she maybe should. If you’re at like a 720 list, though, spare her a thought.

 Ajani, Strength of the Pride

Take everything I just said about Serra, and make it worse, basically. I suppose 4 mana for two Ajani’s Pridemates is fine, but the plus doesn’t do anything (unless you have those tokens, in which case it’s okay) and you are never activating that 0 unless you’re already winning.

Oh also he’s more expensive than she is and is still at the same mana cost. Yeah nah I wouldn’t bother. Ripper in my Cat EDH deck though.

 Elspeth, Sun’s Nemesis

This card is actually really interesting. Our last Elspeth is still mono-white, despite the art and flavour, but she almost doesn’t play like she is. I think most of the time, she’s likely to make 4 tokens and then probably cack it, but the Escape on this is really interesting. By the time you reach 6 mana, you probably will just have enough cards in the yard to cast this again.

I really don’t know how to interpret this card. She’s in my own cube, but I don’t remember seeing her cast yet, so that’s not really any help. My guess is that she’s mostly good in slower decks, but also making and pumping tokens does output a fair bit of damage over time. She’s only like a dollar, so maybe try her out? At least she won’t be an expensive mistake if she is one.

 Basri Ket

Mr. Sandman here is pretty much just a better Ajani, Caller of the Pride. The +1 does more, the -2 actually puts things on board and is better for aggressive decks to get value out of, and the ultimate is actually attainable. He’s basically aggro-only, but he’ll get the job done in those decks.

However, the 3-mana Gideons kind of just outshine Basri here. He does literal jack squat without a creature on board, and his -2 is quite weak with only one or two attacking creatures to work with. The ultimate is nice, but +1ing over and over is extremely bleh, and you probably have better things to do. So sorry, Basri, maybe next time.

 Grand Master of Flowers

Bahamut, you aren’t fooling anyone, it’s on the typeline. For reference, Monk of the Open Hand is a 1/1 for W that gets a +1/+1 counter if you cast two spells in a turn- so it’s not really worth running? And even if you do put it in your cube, there’s no guarantee you’ll have both in a deck, or want to play both in a deck…so…

Okay, fine, let’s assume you just get a copy of Monk of the Open Hand when you draft the card. I’m still not super enthused about this Planeswalker. The lockdown ability is going to miss more than you think it will, and a lot of the things it misses are the things likely to kill you. It can make a 1/1 every turn, but only one at a time, and if they exile it then the ability does stone nothing. And that “ultimate” takes forever to actually get to. Also it’s another 4-mana White Walker. I think I’ll pass on this one. Somehow, both Tiamat and Bahamut were disappointments.

 Teyo, Aegis Adept

I wasn’t sure whether or not to include this, but I didn’t really want to end on GMoF, so. I’ve done a whole post on the digital-only cards, and I do think Teyo, despite being a Planeswalker, is one of the less fucky ones. You will need to track a lot of things, though.

So how does the card stack up? Honestly, I think it’s surprisingly solid. Aggro probably isn’t that interested, though Lumbering Lightshield’s ETB (makes a random card in the opponent’s hand cost 1 more) could be a real pain if you’re lucky. It makes a 4/4 every other turn for a bit, which is quite solid, and the ultimate isn’t that unobtainable. And you don’t have to worry about money, because this could only ever exist as a proxy.

I’d be really interested to see how Teyo, Aegis Adept plays. I don’t think I’m likely to, outside of Arena-based cubes, with the whole stigma around these cards and the added layer of having to proxy them. But in an Arena cube, with a restricted list of cards he’s competing with (It’s Adversary of Tyrants forward), he could really shine.

 This concludes White Walkers, the post. Please join next week when we discuss Blue Walkers. Make your own Game of Thrones joke here, I haven’t watched or read it.

[makeste]

I just took that Bakugou introspection as Horikoshi's way of telling the audience that yes Bakugou can keep up with OP Deku because there has been so much muttering across the fanbase that Bakugou won't be able to. I don't see the melodrama of Bakugou only seeing his strength as a means to keep up with Deku or that his pride is problematic. I think him having an idea for his hero names means he knows what his strength is for. He's always been strong as a person (when Deku was not) (pt1)

Losing his quirk doesn't need to be the gateway to force him to develop the kindness and consideration he's already been showing, nor would it be karmatic balance between him and Deku- especially when any scenario that takes his quirk benches him from the story or cheapens the stakes by him getting it back relatively fast. Deku's 15 years of quirklessness can't be balanced. Additionally, Bakugou only lost in the story when he was too close minded to learn, once open minded he started to (pt2)

grow. It doesn't send out a good message, if after all that growth he still gets punished. His declaration of spirit to not lose, be it to Shigaraki or Deku is not a bad thing, he is the underdog with an indominable will and he is declaring his spirit as the symbol of victory. Bakugou may lose his quirk, I don't know, but your reasons I disagree with because we interpret those panels differently. They give the audience a point of reference to guage Bakugou's ability.

you make some excellent points, anon! and you see, it’s strange, because up until this chapter and his monologue, I was in full agreement with most of what you’re saying -- that he’s already figured out all of that hero biz, that he’s already in the process of sorting his shit out on his own, and that Horikoshi is simply waiting for the right moment to finally show it.

but after reading his internal dialogue in this chapter, I’m just not so sure anymore.

in the past I’ve done a lot of guesswork on Kacchan’s thought processes based on his subtle little actions and microexpressions, and on what we’ve already been told about his character thus far. I call it “guesswork”, though, because it very much is that, because we so rarely get an actual glimpse into his head to see what he is really thinking. so when Horikoshi actually does give us one of those rare glimpses, I’m inclined to pay very close attention, and prepared to make any necessary adjustments to my current understanding of his character if need be. he is very, very complicated, and despite my spending an absurd percentage of my free time analyzing him up and down and front to back, that absolutely doesn’t mean that any of those analyses are actually right, lols. I’m constantly updating my internal databank of Kacchan knowledge both from interactions with the rest of the fandom, and -- when Horikoshi actually deigns to give us some new information -- from the canon itself.

anyway! so when I read this chapter and saw Kacchan yet again comparing his progress to Deku’s in his head, and thinking -- even now, even in the moments right before an intense battle!! -- only about his rivalry and about keeping up, that immediately set me to updating my mental bakuwiki in regards to his current character growth status. so he definitely has his hero name picked out already, we know that much. and so presumably has thus already figured out what kind of hero he wants to be. right? right.

and yet he still apparently has not revealed the new name to anyone. even after three months. like yeah, we get it, you made a promise to tell Jeanist first, etc. fair enough, but still! it’s an interesting bit of hesitation to take note of. and then there’s also the matter of Horikoshi’s interview from back in December (which I’ll link in a comment once this is posted), where he talked a lot about Bakugou and made a point of saying that his character growth wasn’t done yet, and that he still needs to apologize to Deku. which is as good a confirmation as any that such an apology is indeed forthcoming.

so why, then, does it seem like we’re still no closer to that moment, even after Kacchan seemingly had a mysterious epiphany at the end of the internship arc, and even after we subsequently went through a three month time jump? Kacchan isn’t one to be slow about it when he decides to make progress. his growth in all other aspects has come by leaps and bounds. and yet when it comes to his relationship with Deku -- his friendship with Deku, except that he still can’t bring himself to acknowledge that’s what it is, and insists on thinking of it as only a rivalry -- it seems like he reached a certain point, and then just... stalled. like he’s not willing to go any further past this. and there are many reasons for why that may be the case. but at the root of all of them is pride.

and I’m not saying he needs to give up that pride, because that’s a huge and very important part of who he is. you said his declaration of spirit not to lose isn’t a bad thing, and I agree. but that doesn’t always make it a good thing either, and I don’t want to get so swept up in my love of the character that I start refusing to acknowledge the downsides of that trademark pride as well. pride, like anything else, is nuanced. it can be both good and bad. it’s good when it motivates you and pushes you to do your best and to achieve your goals. but it’s bad when it makes you inflexible, and when it prevents you from taking actions which would benefit you and others, just because doing so would mean humbling yourself in a way that is scary and which feels like it runs counter to your ultimate goals. because you want to be someone who always wins. and so any time you do experience a loss, you go through an entire mini-crisis, because it feels like your very purpose in life is being threatened.

I don’t know if “problematic” is the word I would use for this aspect of him. I feel like that word is fairly overused, especially in fandom, and now has certain connotations of “this is objectively bad behavior which should be called out and shunned.” and I don’t think that’s the case at all when it comes to Kacchan’s pride. he’s already learned how to put it aside in order to work with others and save others. and that’s great! he already is a great hero by this point, imo. if Horikoshi decided to just end his character arc here and not take it any further, I would actually be just fine with that.

but I think that there is still the potential for more. I think that we are still not done here yet. because this manga consistently surprises and amazes me with the way it goes the extra mile when it comes to character development. Kacchan and Deku didn’t have to reconcile their differences and learn to respect one another after only 120 chapters (I say “only” in a very sincere and not sarcastic sense here, because that really is an insanely short timeframe compared to most other manga). but they did. Endeavor didn’t have to see the error of his ways and decide that he wanted to become a better person, and he definitely didn’t have to be shown apologizing and admitting his wrongdoings and even going so far as to back out of his family’s lives for their sakes and even build them a house so they could move on apart from him. but he did! and that’s insane, you guys. name me another series that goes that hard in trying to redeem a guy whom virtually every single member of this fandom would have once described as ultimately devoid of any redeeming qualities. I can’t think of any.

but BnHA is just like that. it goes hard. it doesn’t back off. nothing about its character arcs is remotely half-assed. and so if a character is showing signs that they are still angling for more growth? that there are still things they need to learn? then I’m inclined to think we are going to roll up our sleeves and get that growth, one way or another.

this story consistently amazes me because whenever I look at a certain aspect of a character’s development and say to myself, “oh hey, that’s pretty awesome, even if it’s still not ideal,” Horikoshi goes and nudges it down another notch towards being ideal. like, the dude just doesn’t settle. and so that’s one of the reasons why I’m convinced this is a very real and even likely possibility. because this kind of development, to me, would be very, very, very close to my ideal. is it strictly necessary? absolutely not. would it fucking blow my mind as a development, however? I kinda think it would, ngl.

-- that is, with the one addendum that since I do love my son very dearly, I wouldn’t want it to actually be permanent. so in order to be truly ideal, such an arc would also have to include a way for him to climb back up again after experiencing that fall. which some might find contrived or “cheap”, as you put it. but that’s a risk I’m very selfishly and biasedly game for all the same, lol. I am more than willing to occasionally suspend my sense of disbelief in the name of character development, and honestly, I don’t actually think it would cheapen the stakes in any way, because just because Kacchan’s main character status gives him cool perks like a one-time get-out-of-losing-your-quirk-for-free card doesn’t mean the same would apply towards anybody else. and for that matter, it wouldn’t detract from whatever soul searching Kacchan does during that period while he fully believes that he will be quirkless for the rest of his life, either. it doesn’t have to be permanent in order to have a permanent impact.

lastly, in regards to it balancing things out between him and Deku, I don’t mean that Kacchan becoming quirkless would (a) be some sort of necessary and deserved punishment for him, or (b) be even remotely equivalent in any kind of way to what Deku experienced while growing up. that is very obviously not the case, and I can’t stand that kind of thinking, that redemption is only about punishment. maybe “karmic” isn’t the word I should have used then; I meant it as a way of signifying something spiritual in the push-pull balance between the two of them, not in the “what goes around comes around you were a jerk and now you’ll finally understand what it feels like” sense of the word. that’s a big yikes, lol. so yeah, just to clarify that part of it!

what I mean by balance is that it would serve as a catalyst to Kacchan finally being able to understand Deku’s side of it. finally being able to see things from the point of view of his rival-friend who’s had the exact opposite arc as him in terms of what he had to do and go through and learn and unlearn to get this far. it would serve as a means of finally bridging that one last gap of understanding between them. it would bring things back into balance because it would bring them back into balance, by giving them the push to finally mend that one last broken part of their former friendship. the part that’s still untouched by both of them, because they’re both afraid of disrupting the current semi-stable truce that they have now in their relationship. even if it’s not perfect. not, if you’ll pardon my use of the word yet again, ideal.

tl;dr I see Bakugou’s introspection as being a lead-in to something potentially game-changing both because I want it to be, and because, as strange as it may seem, the manga has conditioned me to think this way now. to have expectations. to anticipate more depth, more growth. so it may be the case that in this instance I’ve taken those expectations too far and I need to temper them back down and swing them in a less angsty, more traditionally shounen direction. and like I said, if that does wind up being the case, I won’t be upset.

but maybe, just maybe though, this manga will in fact go there once again. if for no other reason than that it can. “Horikoshi really went and did that” is a sentence I’ve gotten very used to typing since I started reading this manga. and so, well, let’s just wait and see.

[artificialqueens]

White Noise (What an Awful Sound) Ch.2 (Crystal/Gigi) - Meta

A/N: I hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter! I’ve been having a lot of fun writing it. Please leave any feedback/opinions/suggests you have, I love reading what people think about my work! :)

“Gigi, breakfast is ready!” The sound of her mother’s voice woke Gigi up. She rolled over to check the time on her phone, 9 am. Ugh, who the hell wakes up this early on a Sunday? Her parents must really be laying into the new “suburban” lifestyle. Breakfast together early every morning, family dinners. Oh maybe they’ll even have movie night! Gigi ignored all the texts she’d received from her friends back home while she was asleep, rolling herself out of bed and walking to the bathroom. She rummaged around in the box labeled “Gigi’s Toiletries” in her mom’s beautiful cursive. Pulling out her face wash and moisturizer before turning to the sink where her toothbrush rested from the night before.

Once back in her room Gigi picked out an outfit for the day. Scanning through the clothes she’d already put away in her closet, she decided on a long, pale green skirt that had a small slit revealing some of her left leg and just a cropped white shirt. Gigi gave herself a quick once over before rushing downstairs.

“My god, would you look at that. Sleeping Beauty has finally joined the rest of the living.” Gigi’s dad said. He was sitting at their dining table sipping coffee out of a mug and scrolling on his phone. Gigi was willing to bet all of her savings he was looking at Facebook. These damn 40’s somethings, always on their goddamn phones. Just shameful.

“There’s so evidence to prove I’m not sleep walking right now.’’ She said, taking a seat next to her father.

“You washed your face, brushed your teeth, and got dressed.” Gigi’s mother replied, poking her head out of the kitchen.

“Right…so what’s for breakfast?” She eyed her father’s plate but he had already eaten what was on it.

“Cereal for you since you decided to take so long.”

“Paul stop it,” Her mom hit his arm playfully before putting a plate of waffles in front of Gigi, “apparently, your father’s version of unpacking the kitchen is only taking out the waffle iron.”

“Hate to say it but I’m not surprised.” Gigi said.

“I am shocked and appalled by how little you two think of me, really. Just wow.” He replied, feigning hurt. Gigi’s dad stood from the table, taking his plate into the kitchen and placing it in the sink. He whispered a small ‘thank you’ before pulling Gigi’s mom in for a kiss. The teen just ignored her parents, public displays of affection were normal in their house. Gigi had a theory that her father was so affectionate to make up for how much time he spent at work back in LA, always hugging, kissing, or holding her mother’s hand just to let her know he’s still there.

“Anyway, Gigi honey, your father and I need to go to the store and get some things for the house. Do you want to come with us?” Gigi just shook her head, she could use this time to unpack her room some more. “Okay, well we should be home before 4. Please don’t forget, we’re going over to have dinner with the Methyd’s at 5.”

“I will be ready, promise.”

Her parents made their way out the front door, her mom yelling something about wearing a jacket if she left the house. Please, like Gigi was gonna leave the house. Where would she go? To hang out with all her friends here in Missouri? No Gigi was going to go back upstairs and unpack her room. She hated living out of boxes, even if it had only been a day. Back home she waited until the very last second to pack up all her things. Nicky, her best friend, had told her to ‘stop stalling and pack your shit already’ to which Gigi argued that she hadn’t been. Now she was willing to admit Nicky had been right. Just because she refused to throw some random crap she’d had all her life into a box didn’t change the fact that the ‘For Sale’ sign outside her house was real. But now Gigi was ready to settle into her new room.

About an hour later Gigi had made good progress on her room. She’d just finished organizing her books when she heard a crash followed by a lot of expletives that she was glad her parents weren’t around to hear. Gigi walked over to her window, trying to see what was going on. She chuckled to herself as she watched Crystal struggle with an easel on her porch. “Oh my god she’s losing a fight to a fucking easel.” Gigi said, slipping on a pair of white sandals before running downstairs and out the front door. She made her away across the street, still smiling at the sight.

“Want some help?” She asked, finally reaching the other girl.

“Jesus, fuck. You were not supposed to see this.” Crystal laughed. She ran a hand through her curls before looking up at Gigi, a fake pout painted across her face. She is way too adorable for her own good, holy shit.

“Well, too bad.” Gigi said. She bent over and started picking all the art supplies that, she guessed, had been knocked over during the struggle.

“I can’t get it to stand up. I don’t know what’s wrong, it was fine up in my room.” Crystal sighed, giving up and letting it drop to the floor. Gigi nodded.

“Okay, well how many times did you let it do that?” She joked.

“I-I may have dropped it three times while dragging it down the stairs, yeah.”

“I think I may know what your problem is.” She said.

“Wow, you know I am so glad Missouri has someone of your intelligence level living in it now. If it wasn’t for you I would still be fighting for my life against that thing.” Crystal pointed in disgust towards where the easel lay on the porch. Gigi just laughed in response. A silence fell over the girls. To Gigi’s surprise, for one of the only few times in her life, it wasn’t an awkward silence. Crystal wasn’t expecting a response from her, instead she turned her attention to focus on organizing her paints.

“Uh, okay, I, um, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out today?” Gigi shifted in her spot, running a hand awkwardly through her hair. Crystal raised her eyebrows and smiled.

“Actually, I’m just not entirely sure I can handle a full day with you,” Crystal said. Gigi’s eyebrows furrowed, “I mean you just have such an overpowering personality.”

“Right, yeah, I’ve heard that about myself many times.” Gigi nodded in relief.  Just as she finished talking Crystal phone vibrated, she pulled it out of her back pocket to check the notification.

“Well Ms. Gigi Goode, you’re in luck. My friend Lux just asked me to go thrifting with her. Wanna come?” Crystal stood up and walked closer to Gigi. She bit her lip while waiting for the brunette’s response.

“Oh um, yeah sure. I’d love to.” Gigi said. In that moment she was positive she would’ve said yes no matter what Crystal invited her to.

Crystal ran inside to grab the keys to her car and say bye to her mom before dashing back to Gigi and grabbing her hand, “Okay let’s go.” She pulled Gigi toward her car, her skin burning where they’d made contact. Crystal’s car was very old and a horrendous mustard color but she loved it because it got her away from her parents. She was the only one in her friend group with a car, which meant all her friends loved it too. Gigi had to admit, Crystal was not a very good driver. She was always just a little bit too far over the speed limit for comfort and drove with her left leg up on the seat. They drove in silence, well Gigi was silent. Crystal couldn’t help but sing along to every song that came on as they made their way in town to the thrift store. Crystal’s taste in music was definitely different from Gigi’s, playing songs from King Princess, Cage the Elephant, and Hozier, whereas Gigi was more of a pop girl. She basically played Dua Lipa on repeat 24/7. Sitting so close to Crystal while Cherry Wine played throughout the car made Gigi feel overwhelmed, she tried to slow her breath as she stared down at where their hands both rested on the console. She resisted the urge to intertwine their fingers together, missing the feeling from earlier. She studied the other girl’s fingers, the way they dance ever so slightly to the music, the chipped purple nail polish she wore. She had rings on almost all of her fingers.

“You okay?” Crystal asked, glancing at Gigi out of the corner of her eye. She looked like she was going to be sick. But as soon as Crystal spoke Gigi snapped out of it, smiling and peeling her eyes away from their hands to look up at Crystal.

“Yeah, just uh- never mind.” Gigi stopped herself from saying something stupid. She felt foolish, she hadn’t even known this girl for 24 hours and she already had the urge to profess her love to her. She didn’t even know if Crystal was gay. Well, actually that’s not true, she listened to King Princess and Lana Del Rey. The girl was definitely some flavor of gay. Plus nobody that dressed like that was straight.

“What? No, tell me!” Crystal pouted.

“It’s nothing. Just your music makes me feel like I’m in a coming-of-age movie or something.” Gigi said. She tried to fight off the blush creeping across her cheeks. Crystal just laughed, making Gigi regret she said it.

“I like to listen to this kind of music when alone or like painting. It makes me feel calm and inspired. Or like I’m gonna be the next great sapphic artist,” Well, shit, there it was. The confirmation Gigi needed to insure her gaydar wasn’t completely broken. She swallowed hard, not wanting to show any reaction. “I just need to find my muse.” Now it was Crystal who was stealing glances at their hands, moving her hand just close enough that she could feel the heat radiating from Gigi’s. Missing that same heat when she reluctantly pulled her hand away so she could pull into a parking spot.

The girls made their way into the small shop that was filled with very loud clothes. The way Crystal dressed suddenly all made sense. There were only three other people in the shop, they were all standing together loudly talking about how horrendous the huge bubble gum pink dress in front of them was.

“Oh thank fuck, finally. Crystal you have to try this on!” One of them said, grabbing the dress off the rack and running up to Crystal. She stopped and gave Gigi a confused, but welcoming look. The girl looked so much like a fairy, Gigi had to suppress the urge to ask her how Tinker Bell was.

“Hi, I’m Daya.” Another girl, the tallest in the group, came up to them and put her hand out for Gigi to shake.

“Gigi,” She said, taking her hand. Gigi couldn’t help but notice how pretty they all were. What the hell is in the Missouri water?

“That’s Lux,” Crystal said pointing to the small blonde who was being swallowed by all the fabric of the dress she was holding, “and that’s Daegan.” Crystal pointed to the girl who was standing next to Daya.

“I really like your hair.” Gigi said, looking at Daegan’s bright pink hair. She wished she could pull off a color like that but alas she was destined to have boring brown hair for the rest of her life.

“Oh, my god thank you.” Daegan said, “I like her, Crystal can we keep her?” She made puppy dog eyes toward the girl who just laughed.

“Excuse me, hello?!” Lux huffed from under the dress, “Can we get back to Crys trying this on please.” She whined.

“Holy shit, yeah babe you have to try it on.” Daya said pushing past Gigi and taking the dress from Lux. Gigi felt her heart drop into her stomach. Babe? Crystal had a girlfriend? Not just that but a fucking hot girlfriend? Ugh the homophobia of it all. Gigi just walked over to the nearest rack and started looking through all the clothes, trying to ignore the giggles coming from Crystal as Daya pushed her into a dressing room.

A few minutes later Crystal emerged from the dressing room, pulling the thick velvet curtain back dramatically. She walked confidently out into the middle of the store and spun around for all her friends to see.

“You’ve never looked better.” Daegan said as she pulled her phone out to take a video of Crystal dancing around like an idiot. Crystal curtsied and let out a ‘thank you’ in a horrible British accent.

“I think we found your prom dress!” Lux added jumping up and down like a little kid. Crystal made a disgusted face.

“I’m not going to prom, and even if I was, I would never wear a dress.” She put a finger in her mouth and pretended to throw up.

“Ugh not this again. Crystal Elizabeth Methyd you’re going to prom, you have to,” Daya crossed her arms and stared sternly at Crystal for a few seconds before giving up and turning to Gigi, “Tell her she has to go to prom.”

Gigi looked between the girls confused. What kind of power did they think she had over Crystal? They’d just met, you couldn’t even classify them as friends yet. Shouldn’t Daya be the one to convince Crystal, she’s the one that’s her girlfriend here not Gigi. “I-I’ve never been to prom before but I’m sure it’s really fun. My mom says everyone should go to at least one of their proms.”

Crystal rolled her eyes, “Your mom sounds like mine.” Why couldn’t her friends just leave it alone? She already told them a million times she wasn’t going, although the thought of seeing Gigi in a prom dress did intrigue her. Crystal turned around and walked back into the dressing room.

The girls stayed in the shop for a couple of hours, trying on ugly hats and way too big sunglasses, before Lux declared that they had to leave because she was hungry. Crystal bought three button up shirts, that Daegan said looked something her dad would wear, and a bright turquoise and pink windbreaker that Gigi’s mom definitely would have owned in the 90’s.

They all climbed into Crystal’s car, Daegan complaining that making her sit in the back was transphobia. Crystal just ignored her and opened the passenger door for Gigi. She felt awkward in the front, shouldn’t Daya be sitting here so they could hold hands or something? Gigi ignored her thoughts, enjoying the way Crystal’s perfume smelled.

Being in the car with Crystal’s friends was very different than being with just Crystal. Daegan immediately stole the AUX to play Megan Thee Stallion, Doja Cat, and Nicki Minaj while Lux complained that she wanted to listen to Grimes. Crystal just ignored them trying to focus on driving with all the yelling going on around her.

They had finally calmed down, Lux accepting that there was no chance in hell Daegan was changing the music for her, until the question of where to eat came up. Daya voted for Taco Bell while Daegan complained that they had Taco Bell last time. Lux suggested Chick Fil A before being shut down by Crystal, reminding her that they no longer supported the restaurant because of their anti-lgbtq beliefs. Lux rolled her eyes while Daegan joked that the only reason she ate there was because their hatred for her existence made it fun.

“What about pizza?” Gigi offered. Before anyone could protest Crystal said yes, giving everyone in the back seat a stern look. They all murmured reluctant okay’s before changing the subject to gossip about someone from school.

They finally pulled into a small pizza place with picnic tables scattered out front and a burnt out sign that read ‘The Big Slice’. Daya and Lux grabbed a picnic table while Crystal and Daegan went in to order, Gigi opted to stay outside and wait for them to come back.

It was kind of awkward without Crystal there and Gigi found herself racking her brain for something to say. The other girls hadn’t said anything since they sat down either, instead staring at their phones.

“Uh, so uh Daya how long have y-you and Crystal been dating?” Gigi asked, nervously looking between her and Lux.

Daya choked back a laugh, “What? Crys and I aren’t dating. Ew that would be like dating my sister.”

“Oh I’m sorry, I-I just heard you call her babe and assumed.” She couldn’t help but feel relieved, hoping her face didn’t show it. Lux busted out laughing at the idea of Crystal and Daya together and couldn’t stop.

“I call everyone babe, don’t worry.” Daya assured her. Gigi swallowed, oh god could she tell that Gigi liked Crystal. She thought she had been discreet when she looked at her but apparently not.

“Oh I’m no-” She started to protest.

“What’s so funny?” Daegen asked as she and Crystal made their way to the table. She sat in between Daya and Lux while Crystal planted herself right next to Gigi.

“S-she,” Lux tried to get out, pointing at Gigi, “she thought you two were dating.” Daegen joined in and after a couple of seconds Daya found herself laughing too. Gigi tried to laugh but it just came out as an awkward chuckle. The only one who wasn’t laughing was Crystal. She wore a horrified expression, her eyes bouncing between Gigi and Daya. “Why, why, uh um why would you think that?” Crystal’s eyebrows furrowed as she turned attention completely to Gigi. But she just shrugged and said it didn’t matter.

The conversation was forgotten as soon as the waitress brought out the pizza and everyone was too busy stuffing their faces to talk about how bad of a couple Crystal and Daya would make.

As time passed it became easier for Gigi to be around Crystal’s friends, she actually enjoyed how loud they all were. With everyone else fighting to talk over each other no one really noticed Gigi’s lack of input. Thank god, she used to hate how her friends back home would always try to pull her into the conversation. Why couldn’t they understand if she had something to say she would goddamn say it.

“Oh shit. It’s almost 4. My parents are gonna be home soon and I promised I would be there to get ready for tonight.” Gigi said looking down at her phone. She started to stand up from the table.

“Oh okay, I’ll uh drive you home.” Crystal said, standing up too.

“You don’t have to, I can just walk or uh call a lyft or something.” Gigi said, secretly hoping Crystal would insist.

“Excuse me, what about us?” Lux whined.

“Also what’s tonight?” Daya asked.

“Huh? Oh Gigi and her parents are coming over for dinner.” Crystal mumbled, knowing there was bound to be teasing from her friends. They all raised their eyebrows but before any of them could say anything inappropriate Crystal pushed Gigi toward her car. Crystal yelled at them to find their own way home.

“I hate you, bitch!” Daegen shouted at Crystal. She just put up her middle finger and held it up as she climbed into the driver’s seat.

“Don’t let her make you listen to One Direction Gigi!” Daya added before Gigi closed her door, unable to hear them anymore. She couldn’t help but laugh.

The drive was quiet, but this time it wasn’t a comfortable silence. Both of them wanting to say something but too afraid to say it. Crystal put on the same music from before, calm love songs that made Gigi feel like she never wanted them to stop driving.

“Why did you think I was dating Daya?” Crystal asked abruptly, pulling Gigi out of her daydream.

Gigi’s eyebrows furrowed, “What?” God why was she bringing this up again? Gigi never wanted to think about that again.

“C’mon I wanna know,” Crystal pouted, “please!” She begged, turning to look at Gigi.

“It’s nothing, I uh, heard her call you babe and I just assumed,” She shrugged trying to look anywhere but at Crystal.

Crystal didn’t respond, instead they just fell back into uncomfortable silence. Gigi tried to come up with something to say. God the one person she actually wanted to talk to and she couldn’t come up a single fucking thing to say.

“This doesn’t sound like One Direction.” Gigi said.

“Yeah I uh, I only bring that out with people I like,” Crystal shot her a devilish smile, “sorry.”

“You’re such an ass, oh my god.” Gigi laughed, hitting Crystal lightly on her shoulder. She watched as Crystal picked up her phone and unlocked it, quickly changing the song to ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ making Gigi laugh even more. “That’s more like it.”

Crystal finally pulled into her driveway, reluctantly putting the car in park. Gigi lingered in the passenger’s seat, not wanting to miss the heat from Crystal’s body. She slowly unbuckled her seat belt, grabbing the handle to the car door.

“So uh, I’ll see you tonight, yeah?” Crystal asked, unbuckling her own seat belt.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m looking forward to it.” Gigi pulled herself out of the car.

She was halfway down Crystal’s driveway when she heard her name. Gigi spun around to face her, “Yeah?”

“I had fun, uh with you,” She stopped as if she was searching for a difficult word, “today. I had fun with you today.” She ran a hand awkwardly through her hair.

Gigi chuckled, “I had fun with you too, Crystal.”

“Okay, good.” Crystal spun around and stumbled cheerfully up the stairs of her porch, turning around to wave at Gigi one last time before disappearing into her house.

Gigi continued walking back to her own house, smiling the entire way.

[retroateez]

Prophecy - Chapter Thirteen

so,,,, hello!!!

firstly i apologise for how long this took me,,, university has been a nightmare and a blessing all in one and my sleep pattern is still getting worse that being said,, here (finally) is chapter thirteen! to those of you who have been waiting eagerly and showing your support, i thank you so much for giving me the motivation to keep this series going, lots of love - hades x

Prophecy Masterlist wc;2825

The next morning, Hongjoong called you, Yeosang and Wooyoung into his office to discuss your temporary residence. He had stood before you, like a teacher lecturing his naughty students and informed you that under no circumstances were any of you to perform magic.

Easy for you, you thought. You didn't even know how to use it.

"Witch hunters will be able to trace you if they detect any magical source coming from the kingdom," The king explained. "If there is rumour of any magic beings within my court, the other kingdoms will pick up on it immediately, and it will result in bloodshed."

The way Hongjoong had looked at the three of you as he instructed you was terrifying. It was bordering on begging, and deeper behind his golden eyes he looked frightened. And you supposed you would be too, if you had to go to war for such a ridiculous reason.

You could barely comprehend the thought of Yeosang and Wooyoung being killed just because they were non-human. It made it worse how they insisted it was okay because they were 'used to it', as if that justified anything.

Still, they complied to the king's request and agreed to not use any magic within the kingdom, especially in the castle and the grounds.

"We've managed to cover up your appearance here yesterday, so you don't need to be concerned about that. However, I am half tempted to charge you for causing emotional damage to my kingsguard. You gave him quite the fright."

You stifled a laugh at hearing the extent of Seonghwa's reaction to your intrusion, the scary kingsguard perhaps being much softer in demeanour than you had initially thought.

After the briefing, Hongjoong had dismissed you to once again talk over the prophecy with Yeosang and Wooyoung.

The astrologer had informed you that they were making steady progress, they had deciphered some of the constellation meanings and were working on how to avoid the outcomes of their predictions.

"It's very easy to avoid a war," Wooyoung had scoffed that morning whilst tying up his boot laces. "We needn't worry about the Ara constellation because we simply just do not engage in a war."

"But what if somebody goes to war with us?" You asked timidly, staring nervously at the floor.

Wooyoung paced over to you and gently raised your chin with the tip of his finger.

"We won't go to war, Iris. Nobody has any reason to go to war with us. Besides, you'd probably be more worried about the Ball than fighting in a battle."

He had ruffled your hair and swiftly left the room, leaving you gazing at the ceiling with a feeling in your chest you couldn't quite understand. Something had changed with you and Wooyoung recently; he'd been standing closer to you than usual, smiling at you more, being kinder than he used to and truthfully you had no idea what to make of it.

You thought that maybe he felt more comfortable in your presence considering you had to share a room with him.

But that didn't excuse the way your heart raced and stomach fluttered whenever he would flash his killer smile at you or whined like a puppy when you refused to share any of the cook's baked treats with him.

Your current course of action was to completely ignore every single one of those feelings. Either that or take a visit to Yunho and get him to perform a medical examination on you, because you were absolutely convinced you were dying slowly from the inside out. Had some kind of magical parasite burrowed into your skin while you slept and had gradually been sucking the life out of you without you noticing? Or maybe some evil witch had snuck into the kitchens, managed to figure out which delicious looking apple you had been eyeing up the previous afternoon, poison it and cackle mysteriously as she watched you take a giant bite of the apple through the window?

Or perhaps you had been reading too many fairytales and storybooks.

That was probably it.

Yet, you couldn't help yourself. Not when Hongjoong's castle had such a beautiful library, full to the brim with all ranges of books. Even though there was such an extensive selection, immediately you were drawn to the wonderfully illustrated tales of woeful princesses stuck in their towers, powerful dragons aiming to conquer worlds and daring wizards yearning for adventure.

You had yet to find a book about an angry king and his weak-hearted kingsguard, but you didn't really need to read a fictional account to experience that.

It wasn't like you had much to do either; the ball was still a few weeks away and you still weren't allowed to help Yeosang and Wooyoung with the prophecy under Hongjoong's guidance. You saw less and less of Mingi as his lute practice was being upped due to the fast-approaching ball. So you spent most of your days holed up in the corner of the typically empty library.

In fact, that was exactly what you planned on spending the whole day doing.  

You raced down the intricately decorated hallways of the castle, brushing your fingertips against the crimson velvet sashes that hung from ceiling to floor. Sunlight filtered in gently through the stained-glass windows, leaving rainbow shards on the plush rugs underneath your boots. In time, you're outside the familiar library door, a much cooler shade of oak than the other doors in this hallway, you notice. It's smoother to the touch too, like whoever designed this room centuries ago took special care in it's creation.

Pushing the door open, you enter the library. The scent is slightly dusty, with a lingering smell of untouched parchment and slowly decaying leather. The room itself is huge, bookshelves line the walls from top to bottom, almost encaging you in with towers of tales and stories hidden within leather-bound shells. The wall to your right is bare of shelves, in its space is a large bay window, with a cushioned area for somebody to sit and read. Coincedentally, your favourite place to lounge and waste the day away getting lost in foreign, mystical worlds.

Unfortunately, your seat appears to be occupied.

"Excuse me," you call politely, making your way over to the lounging figure who has their nose buried in a book. "You're sitting in my spot."

His attention snaps to yours lightening fast. So fast that you're shocked he didn't give himself whiplash or any other injury.

His gaze, much like his face and eyes, are narrow. Slender cheekbones and an unimpressed scowl are directed your way and the feeling of regret settles deep in your core.

"Your spot?" He repeats with a scoff. "And who are you to claim this seat?"

He sets his book down onto the soft window-seat, and swings his long legs round so he can stand up. Even from a distance, you can tell he's got a considerable amount of height on him. Everything about him is slim; his nose, jaw, torso. He takes a couple of steps towards you, and you notice he makes little to no sound. Agile, you think. He reminds you of a cat, his attentive gaze unwavering from your puzzled face, the way he moves concise and utterly silent. Unruly, raven black hair swept atop his head and glittering golden eyes evoke memories of the black cats from home. Slinking quietly through the market stalls, stalking mice or keeping an eye out for danger.

"Iris, right?" he asks.

You nod. "Ye-"

"Wrong." He interrupts you before you finish speaking, and he's standing right before you. So close that if you look up you can see every fleck of fire in his eyes.

"W-what? What do you mean?"

"Your name isn't Iris at all, is it?"

How does he know that?

He smirks at you, thinking he's figured out your deepest darkest secret.

"No, it isn't. How did you know? Did Yeosang tell you?"

"I've been keeping an eye on you, because I don't trust you. Hongjoong may have let you and your friends into the castle without batting an eyelid, but I'm not as easily fooled as him."

"I don't know what you think I'm planning," you glare at him, astounded that he's actually accusing you of plotting something. "But you're greatly mistaken."

He remains silent for a few moments as he eyes you up and down, taking in your hand-me-down clothes (a mixture of Wooyoung and Yeosang's) and untidy, unkempt hair.

"When our name is called," he begins to explain. "We have a physical reaction. Our eyes light up, our ears perk up, our head swivels round as we try to identify who is calling for us."

"Your point?" Somehow you find it in you to challenge him, despite the fact his glare is weighing down on you so heavily you think your knees might actually buckle with pressure.

"You do none of these things when your name is called."

"Okay. So you know that Iris isn't my real name. Yeosang knows that too. Now what?"

"I think if you're going to be living in this castle, free of charge, without doing any work to earn your keep, the least you can do is give me your real name."

In any other circumstance, you would've told him to stick it. Probably with a punch, too. But there's something so intimidating about him, something so covertly dangerous that you can't decipher.

"And why should I tell you that when I don't even know your  name?" you bite back, and you see the spark of realisation on his face that he is also a complete stranger to you.

"San." he replies simply.

"Haneul." you answer.

"Haneul?" San echoes. "You don't seem like a Haneul."

"People used to call me Hana."

"Hana? Like the number one?"

You nod.

"Yeosang just gave me the name Iris when I met him, by the way." A part of you felt compelled to explain why you were going by a different alias. Not that you owed San anything anyway. After all, he had been incredibly rude to you despite having met literally five minutes ago.

"And you didn't think to correct him?"

"Evidently not."

San rolls his eyes at your curt response, shaking his head a little and pushing his cheek from the inside with his tongue, the same way that Wooyoung does when he gets annoyed with you. You think that they'd probably get on quite well.

"So, do you actually do anything around here?" You throw the questions back in San's direction, feeling quite fed up of being interrogated for one day. "Or do you make a habit of ambushing young women in libraries and demanding their life stories?"

He gives you another unimpressed look before he goes back over to his book at the window-seat.

"I'm the Ateez court jester," he answers you calmly. "I entertain company with jokes, stories, songs, you name it."

"A jester? I thought you wore silly costumes and hats with bells on?"

San scowls at you from across the room. Does he actually know how to smile?

"You read too much." He deadpans. "I'm not a character in a storybook. I'm a person who has a job like everyone else here. I wear ordinary clothes, I don't wear a hat, and I do more than just tell jokes."

San crosses the room with an air of anger, yet he still manages to walk gracefully without making a sound. He places his book back on the shelf, then approaches you at the door.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have a ball to prepare material for."

You side-step out of the way, and San slips past you and you listen as the soft pattering of his footsteps gradually fade, and then disappear altogether.

What the f-

"Oh, there you are!"

Wooyoung's lanky frame comes barreling into you, the slight panic laced in his voice making you worry.

"Here I am," you confirm. "What's wrong?"

"Hongjoong wants to see you." He breathes. "About the prophecy."

-----

"I've already told you! I don't know anything more than you do!"

Hongjoong had summoned you into his office, and the atmosphere in the room told you everything you needed to know. You could cut through it with a knife. A strong knife though, as the tension was so thick a regular butter knife wouldn't dent it one little bit. And the way Hongjoong was leaning against his desk with his arms fully stretched out, head hanging down and exhaling out of his nose like a furious cattle ready to charge.

You assumed that perhaps their work wasn't going swimmingly.

"The deadline to solve this is approaching fast, thief. Do you understand that? My people will die if we don't crack this soon."

"What exactly do you want me to do about it?" You angrily retort. "If you've forgotten, you've kept me in the dark for weeks!"

"Because you were of no use." Hongjoong replies simply. He wanders around the side of his desk and meanders his way to stand in front of you, his arms loosely behind his back.

"However, seeing as it was you who intially offered to help with the prophecy, I thought that perhaps reverting to our roots would prove more fruitful." He lowers himself slightly and stares at you directly with his dangerous, poisonous gaze.

His demand renders you silent. You stand frozen in his office, the worried glances of Yeosang and Wooyoung piercing into the back of your skull. You will your mouth to open and scream internally at yourself to speak, to say absolutely anything you can conjure to get out of the situation but nothing comes. Finally, the web of lies you've been spinning since day one is about to unravel itself.

And you can do nothing except for watch.

Is this where you get caught out? After so long? You were beginning to like it here too; the beautiful garden, getting closer to Wooyoung, making friends with Mingi. You had even planned to ask him to teach you how to play the lute. Hell, even making enemies with San was something you were looking forward to. And you hadn't tried the cook's famous apple pie that Mingi raved about. No. No, instead Hongjoong was going to catch out your lies, the stories you had told him and he was going to lock you up in the prison under the castle for the rest of your life. You were going to die, ancient, magicless, friendless, alone, all because you couldn't just tell the damn truth. What were you doi-

"What if it isn't a man?" your tongue expertly blurts out the first thing your racing brain can pluck out of thin air to try and save your back, and you have to stop yourself from squeaking out in shock.

"What do you mean?" Hongjoong asks, with genuine curiousity written across his features.

"Well, the prophecy says Man, doesn't it? But you've been taking it literally. As in, A Man. But what if it means anyone from the human race?"

Hongjoong stands stunned before you for a few seconds, as if he physically cannot comprehend what you have suggested.

"Are you suggesting that a woman will destroy my kingdom?"

"I-, well, no-"

"I think what Iris is trying to say," Yeosang pushes himself off the wall he was leaning against and approaches you and Hongjoong. "Is that we should broaden our horizons a little bit. You know, branch out from searching monstrously powerful men. Look into witches, sirens, even dragons and the like."

"None of those are human, mage." Hongjoong sneers.

Yeosang merely shrugs in response.

"Just a suggestion. Besides, Iris is right. It doesn't state a singular man. The gods haven't always made sense, have they? Perhaps expanding our criteria would be a good thing."

"It could also be somebody disguised as a human," Wooyoung pipes up. "Like a shape-shifter or even a halfling."

"Halfling?" you echo, confused.

"Somebody that is half human and half something else." Yeosang explains. "So a half human half elf would be called a halfling, as would a half human half giant and so on."

"So you really think that we might have something worse than a human on our hands?" Hongjoong asks. He nibbles his bottom lip in a way that makes you concerned for him. It's that moment you remember that he is an exceedingly young king, and that at times he's probably way out of his depth.

He pulls his tawny fur coat tighter over his shoulders and straightens up his posture. It reminds you of a wild fox, and his mannerisms in themselves remind you of a fox cub too. He moves quietly (a running theme of the key figures in this castle, you've noticed), and when he's calm he appears very serene.

You, Wooyoung and Yeosang all nod, and Hongjoong takes that as a sign to proceed.

"Very well. I will have orders out to search and interrogate anyone, and anything that seems suspicious. Let's hope we're right."

Yeah, you exhale. Let's hope I'm right.

[tranderas]

My email to Failbetter Games

I rarely see a reason to hide my motivations or actions. I don’t have a lot of regrets in life, because as I got older- I’m 34 now- I came to understand that it’s pointless. Try to learn, grieve things like lost friendships and loved ones as best you can, and be the best person your emotional and physical state allows you to be.

Anyway

To that end, I thought I’d air out my grievances to FBG in a rather long email. It was a long time coming as I wasn’t convinced emails would do anything. Elias on the Failbetter Community discord server suggested I at least try, and I spent a week of proofreading to make sure I was as courteous as I could manage to be despite my feelings. I’m angry, angry because this game was so dear for me for so long and it feels like the current team has taken it in a direction so much in the opposite of what I find fun.

That anger is unhealthy, of course. Art evolves. Bands change their sound because they get bored or they want to make money tapping into a new audience. Painters refine and improve their style. Writers improve the range of their vocabulary and change tone. Everything shifts in this world. The healthiest thing to keep in mind is the fact that the thing you loved was there for that point in time and nothing can take that away from you, from your favorite game as a child to your favorite bands in your teenage years, you’ll always have those moments of joy.

I want to hold onto this moment of joy that I experience with Fallen London as long as possible, so I wrote this email in the hope of convincing them to alter their direction so I can enjoy it a little bit longer. Except for the signature that contained my real name at the end- not that it’s hard to find if you care, as my facebook url is /tranderas- the text is unmodified. Hopefully this shines light on what I want. 

What I don’t want is discussion about my needs. This is my place to explain, to vent, to point people to instead of typing everything out every time someone asks. But enough stalling.

___

Hello, I was encouraged in a Twitter interaction to write in and expand on my thoughts on the game so I figured I would do so now. Since I started writing this email before reading the December balance announcement, I'll address that at the bottom. The sparknotes version of what I'd like is as such: More content in London itself (especially socials), more Zee destinations, a profession uptuning, a fundamental rework of the deck that goes beyond favors, and a non-docks favor buff. From most to least important, the things I'd like to see addressed are:

1. The lack of endgame content within London itself is concerning to me for two reasons:

a. I play FL because it is a social electronic game, and I want to stay in zones in which I can continue to do social interactions. This is the reason I stay in London rather than going to Iron Republic and Port Carnelian, my first and second favorite zones respectively. If I wanted a story rich solo game I'd play Sunless Sea; if I wanted an analogue experience I'd play Blades in the Dark or read one of the books that influenced FL's style.

b. I simply don't like the mechanics of lab or parabola or how they gatekeep content. Because of this I haven't had any free content to pursue since the release of the new heists, and for a much longer length of time before that.

2. I'd love to see the remaining tier 3 professions given something they can do at lodgings. In general I prefer buffs instead of nerfs, especially in story games, and think it would be silly to nerf midnighter/correspondent/crooked-cross downward. Instead, give the others roles, perhaps in special options in the 4/5 card lodgings.

3. With the changes to Paramount Presence and the BDR power creep Notability has been significantly de-emphasized. I'd like that changed. To me the notability grind had the best balance of difficulty to cost-benefit analysis to end reward in the game, and while overcapping removed that, I would like something to use it again to make going above 10 worthwhile more often. Recent BDR items should make going even beyond 15 possible for very lategame players.

4. In addition to more endgame content within London, I'd like more midgame content at Zee. Sunless Sea got me especially interested in Frostfound and Irem, and a roleplay point for my OC is that she'd like to quite literally punch Mt. Nomad to death. Please don't feed us to spiders, though. The ones in London cause enough sorrow.

5. I would enjoy more free spouses that are not seasonal, and more ways to interact with player spouses. Again, it's a social game, and it makes sense to reward a desire to be social with the community. On the other hand, the NPC spouses in the game are limiting in their roleplay potential to the point that I've created a character around the Esoteric Accomplice for one of my OCs to get involved with between one roleplay relationship and another. Now allow me to take a deep breath while I discuss the proposed balance pass. The short version here is that I think it's wrong to release a deck refresh nerf without a fundamental change to what cards appear in the deck, and that the nerf to docks favors and yet another nerf to revs favors is misguided.

Here's the long version: I actually support a removal of the deck refresh mechanic. I got in trouble for calling flash lay resets an exploit on a private Fallen London fan server, and refused to use it until the lab convinced me it was a mechanic intended for use by FBG.

The widespread use of deck resets isn't a problem in its own right; rather, it's a symptom of how fundamentally broken the deck is in its current state. You have cards that are so bad that the narrative acknowledges they're awful and the mechanics give you a way to get rid of them at the cost of objectively worse lodgings. You have story signpost cards that clog up space held by desired cards. It can be nearly impossible to get Portly Sommelier (before deck refreshes i was getting one a month playing 60 actions a day) and dream qualities (my PoSI-ready SMEN alt has DbW3 playing every dream card that comes around). And most lodgings have cards that are objectively bad in a way that no new player can know without reading the wiki or asking someone- the exact problem you claim a desire to address in your announcement.

It's telling that players will do SMEN- a quest chain ostensibly about how much you're willing to sacrifice to some faceless maybe-god- in order to get rid of bad lodgings. I personally only bought back salon (Notability grind), rooftop shack (3 epa wine option), and bazaar premises (5-card potential plus good certifiable scraps/money option) after Trand got St. Beau's Candle, and JanieS only ever got the bazaar premises, her Remote Lodging, and the Orphanage. Even the other 4-card lodgings are only good under specific circumstances, and the rest of the 3s have worse cards with no endgame benefit.

Tranderas and JanieS both use remote lodgings. Trand is stuck with the Advertisements of a New Venture and Devices and Desires cards in his hand. Advertisements is an Abundant-rarity card. Since I have no intention of doing railroad due to disliking its mechanics the card simply sits in my hand. If I discard it, its rarity means it pops back up quickly. I think a way to opt out of story signpost cards such as aunt and railroad would be good progress toward solving the deck problem. There could be a large action or monetary cost involved with both removing it and reactivating it to balance, but without a way to get rid of these story hooks I need to keep refreshing to draw other cards around them.

As for the favors, I consider that part of the change mostly good. However, the docks favors -> Silk expedition doesn't really compete that well with other endgame grinds at the moment. Further, the Revolutionaries favor turn-in was already reduced dramatically this year, and I don't think it needs further tweaking. Rather than tuning docks and revs down, I would prefer to see the other factions tuned upwards, and the cost of earning favors eliminated from their cards (no 10 rostygold donation to the Church, for example). I'd still like to see the faction cards remain in the deck after they're given storylet sources, but made more rare, with the conflict options getting a boost to remain attractive in line with my proposed buff to payouts as they are good for London from a flavor/narrative perspective. In closing, it feels like the current FBG's team has a vision for the game that doesn't mesh well with how I see it and want to play it. Content has consistently moved away from what I want to do, leaving me with only SMEN and cider as goals to pursue (and as mentioned, I've run two characters- Samia R and Tranderas- through the quest chain to its completion). I obviously care about the game enough to want more things I like or else I wouldn't bother writing and proofreading this post or discussing and debating changes on the community discord, so I hope you'll take these opinions and suggestions into consideration moving forward. Regards,

Tranderas