#anyway i giffed this so that no one else has to be subjected to the poor over-analysis i leave in the tags

[saltywinteradult]

How is Dany is abusive to Jon?

Honest question, I’ve never given it a thought

I'm sorry this took me so long, anon, and I am really sorry for how long this post got. I had a lot of thoughts on this.

Before we begin, I'd like to point you to this compilation of Jon's reactions to Dany, which hardly paints a picture of a man who is happy and in love, as well as this post and this gifset, both pointing out the parallels between Jon's relationship with Dany and Sansa's relationship with Littlefinger, the latter being a relationship I hope most people can agree is abusive.

It's absolutely crucial to remember that in this relationship, Dany is the person with the power. She is the one with the dragons and the biggest army, and she is willing to both use and abuse that power to get her way.

Furthermore, Dany wants the North's loyalty, but the North needs her help. (The fact that it's Dany's duty as well as in her own best interest to help fight the Others is a different discussion; she doesn't seem to understand this anyway.) She has agreed to grant that help, but she could easily withdraw it if she chooses. She has more power than literally anyone else and there's simply no escaping that power imbalance - it permeates every single interaction Dany has with Jon and all the other Northerners for all of s7 and the first half of s8.

I want you to remember how Dany treats Jon on Dragonstone. His weapons and his boat are taken away immediately upon his arrival. She says Jon is "not yet" her prisoner, but 1) that line very clearly implies that she could make him her prisoner if she chooses to, and 2) how much does it really matter that Jon is "not yet" her prisoner when she's already taken away his means of defending himself or leaving the island? Remember how she later tells him "I haven't given you permission to leave." Girl, what happened to Jon not being your prisoner?

I think it's also very telling that Dany never once addresses Jon by his proper title of King in the North, even before he bends the knee. As you may recall, Dany cares a great deal about titles. She never grants Jon the same respect she demands for herself, and she likes to remind Jon that she is his Queen even during a supposedly intimate, romantic scene.

(Gif by yocalio via gameofthronesdaily)

Earlier in this scene, Dany pointed out that they could stay here in this secluded spot, away from the kingdom and its politics, and no one would find them. Yet even here, away from the rest of the world, she makes a point of referring to herself as "your Queen".

I point all of this out to illustrate that from the very beginning and throughout their relationship, Dany views Jon as a subordinate, not an equal. That is very much not a good foundation for a healthy and equal romantic relationship. Her constant expectation is that Jon will submit, obey, give things up to benefit her, and ensure that the people he has power over act the way she wants.

Case in point:

"Your sister doesn't like me. [...] She doesn't need to be my friend, but I am her Queen. If she can't respect me..."

The implication is that Sansa is doing something wrong by not liking or respecting Dany (meaning "not acting deferential enough for Dany's taste"). The fact that Dany is saying this to Jon and not to Sansa herself implies that it's Jon's responsibility to ensure that Sansa behaves acceptably. "If she can't respect me..." Then what? What exactly is she implying will be the consequences? That their romantic relationship will end? Something worse?

At this point, the North has bent the knee to Dany. As their monarch this is not an entirely unreasonable thing to ask of her subjects - but it's not a very reasonable thing for a girlfriend to ask of her boyfriend, is it? The line between Jon and Dany's political relationship as monarch and subject and their personal relationship as girlfriend and boyfriend isn't just blurred, it's practically nonexistent. To state the obvious, there is a reason we decided that absolute monarchies are bad here in the real world. There is also a reason why a boss dating a subordinate is frowned upon in the real world. Big power imbalances are a bad idea in general and in romantic relationships especially. They should at the very least be considered and navigated carefully. Dany not only fails to do so; she is only happy with her and Jon's relationship when she has power over him.

For proof, let's look at how she reacts when that power imbalance is upended by the revelation of Jon's true identity:

This revelation is a bombshell for Jon. Everything he thought he knew about his own origins turns out to be untrue. However, Dany's first and only thought is how this affects her. Her first reaction is denial and scepticism; the second is to turn cold as soon as she realises that this makes Jon a threat to her ambitions.

There's also this line:

"A secret no one in the world knew, except your brother and your best friend. Doesn't seem strange to you?"

Which implies... What, exactly? That Sam and Bran made this up? Why? Just like with Sansa in the previous scene, we see Dany questioning the actions and intentions of Jon's loved ones. Remember that.

Things escalate in episode 4:

Dany is faced with the notion that Jon might hold more political power than she thought, that they might actually be on somewhat equal footing, and this makes her unhappy.

"I want it to be the way it was between us."

Her desire is to continue their sexual relationship and to return to the previous status quo where she held more power than him and therefore didn't consider him a threat. Jon having a stronger claim to the throne than her threatens Dany's sense of her own identity and purpose, and she reacts by trying to deny and suppress this reality:

"You can say nothing, to anyone, ever! Swear your brother and Samwell Tarly to secrecy and tell no one else! Or it will take on a life of its own and you won't be able to control it or what it does to people!"

(Imagine this with the genders reversed. Yikes.)

Dany is demanding Jon keep his own identity secret from his own family. That's not a reasonable thing to ask of a person you love. Not for one second does she show any consideration for how Jon might feel or what Jon might want. It's all about her. Her expectation is that Jon suppress his own identity, his own reality, to benefit Dany's ambitions. Never once does it seem to occur to Dany that what Jon does with this secret is up to him to decide, not her. His agency is of no concern to her.

Jon: I have to tell Sansa and Arya. Dany: Sansa will want to see me gone and you on the Iron Throne. [...] She's not the girl you grew up with. Not after what she's seen, not after what they've done to her. [...] Jon: They're my family. We can live together. Dany: We can. I've just told you how.

Here we are again with Dany questioning the motives and agendas of Jon's loved ones. Now she's no longer implying but outright stating that they're working against her. What we have here is a pattern of Dany implying that Jon's loved ones are up to no good and can't be trusted. I don't need to explain why that is a dangerous and manipulative thing to do to one's partner, right?

I also want you to pay extra attention to how Emilia delivers that final line. Throughout the whole scene Dany is distraught and desperate, but at this point she turns cold and closed off with an unmistakable anger that Jon won't agree to do as she demands. It is very hard not to read a threatening undertone into that line. "Keep it secret, or else."

Before we move on to episode 5, I'd like to highlight this line, spoken by Dany to Tyrion and Varys in episode 4:

"Speaking to Cersei will not prevent a slaughter. But perhaps it's good the people see that Daenerys Stormborn made every effort to avoid bloodshed, and Cersei Lannister refused. They should know whom to blame when the sky falls down upon them."

Let's be clear on one thing here: Cersei could choose to back down and surrender to avoid bloodshed - but, and I cannot stress this enough, so could Dany. Cersei and Dany are both being selfish and power-hungry by refusing to give up the throne in order to avoid bloodshed. But to admit that would ruin Dany's deeply rooted self-image as morally superior to her enemies. So what does she do instead? She deflects blame. She's the one with the dragons, but if she makes the sky fall down on people, as she puts it, it's not her fault. Keep that in mind.

Now for the absolute low point:

"What did I say would happen if you told your sister? [...] She betrayed your trust. She killed Varys as much as I did. This was a victory for her. Now she knows what happens when people hear the truth about you."

Okay. Varys was conspiring against Dany, which he could've chosen not to do; I guess Dany was within her rights to punish him. She still could've chosen to imprison him, or at least give him a trial. Nobody made her kill him. But as we've just seen, Dany doesn't like to accept responsibility for her own decisions. She'd rather deflect the blame onto the people who displease her.

What's more, she's not just blaming Sansa for Varys's death but Jon as well, for telling Sansa the secret in the first place - which Jon was well within his rights to do! He never agreed not to tell anyone. That wasn't up to Dany to decide in the first place. Jon did what he wanted to do and not what she wanted him to do, so now everything Dany does as a result of Jon's actions is Jon's fault? Do I even need to explain how shitty this is?

"Far more people in Westeros love you than love me. I don't have love here. I only have fear."

This is entirely true. She never stops to think about why Jon is more beloved in Westeros than she is, but whatever. What's important is that after this, Dany initiates a kiss and Jon rebuffs her.

(Gifs from snowsource)

"Alright then. Let it be fear."

Again, what exactly do we think she's implying here? Remember the context. During this conversation, Jon already told her "you will always be my queen". He hasn't rejected her as his queen (which at this point he damn well should), he's just rejecting her sexual advances. And yet, Dany's reaction to his personal rejection of her is to embrace "fear", which again refers to how all of Westeros sees her, not just Jon. Dany already deflected blame for her previous actions onto people who displeased her including Jon, and now she's deflecting the blame for her future actions in the same way. And we all know what she did after this, don't we? I don't know how the line "let it be fear" can mean anything other than "you rejected me and that's why I'm going to embrace being feared, so whatever I do now in the name of being feared is really your fault. Look what you made me do." If that isn't abuse, I don't know what is.

[wukong-s-only-wife5000]

hello!!! Absolutely loved that last work or urs from my request! It was so cute!!

And umm I was wondering if u could do something with “When He Smiles.” for Monkey King Reborn as well pls? I was thinking something like reader complimenting him and just telling him how pretty his smile is? Like mans has the cutest and prettiest little smile and damn do I just wanna compliment him tell him how pretty he looks! But ya do with this what u pls also gender neutral or female reader is good 👍 whatever u prefer

Reborn!Wukong: When He Smiles.

Content/Trigger Warnings: N/A.

Authors Notes: I HAD STARTED THIS ONE FUCKING IMMEDIATELY AND OFC I HAD TO PUT THE GIF! LOOK AT HIM! (This is the reason I used this gif) I'm so happy that you enjoyed it so much, and I hope you love this one too. Thank you and everyone so much for all the love, support, and requests. ❤️

<---Previous | Start | Next--->

“I'll probably go back to the Celestial Realm,” you sighed softly, looking at the night sky with a small frown, something that made Wukong’s subtle content turn to a deep frown. 

“Not looking forward to it?”

“No, not really,” you looked at him with an awkward smile. “But, ya know, it’s home. Such is life,”

“Come with me,” his lips moved on their own. His words caught you off guard and when you looked at him, he was looking at you with slightly wide eyes as well. He quickly looked away and cleared his throat as you did. “I mean, if you want to.”

“I thought I was a nuisance?” you teased him, looking at the view. 

“Yeah, well. A nuisance I got used to,” he glanced at you as you did the same. 

“You really think you'll miss me so much?” you couldn't help but smile, but when he laughed a bit and smiled so effortlessly at you? You felt your heart go BOOM. Your poor heart felt like it would jump out of your chest when you saw him smile at you like that.

“I guess you could say that,” his smile shrunk a bit, somehow making him look even more adorable.

“I couldn't,” you blushed and shook your head, looking down. It wasn't the problem, though, you more than could… you just-  “I don't want to be a bother.”

“I'm the one that suggested it, idiot,” he chuckled and held your chin, making you look at him. “You think I'd ask you to stay with me if I didn't want you there?”

“Um… well,” you stuttered, looking into his eyes, unable to form proper words with your blood rushing to your cheeks. “Um…” 

“Well?” he smirked a bit and raised a brow. “Forget how to talk?” he mused. 

“No!” you said a little too loudly, which resulted in you covering your mouth. You both looked to see if your shout disturbed the others in their slumber, but it luckily didn't faze any of them. Pigsy turned on his back, yes, but that was about it. You both sighed softly in relief and stared at each other for a second before quietly snickering with each other. 

That was close.

“Didn't think you could be so loud,” he taunted, which didn't help with your blush.

“Anyway,” you tried to change the subject. “How come you offered to take me with you anyway?”

“Well, no one can make you go back to the Celestial Realm if you don't want to go,” he stated with an indifferent shrug.

“But Buddha-” 

“Did he tell you to not go anywhere else when you're finished with your mission?” He raised a brow. 

He got ya there.

“I guess not,” you rubbed the back of your head before looking at him a bit more determined. “Alright then, after we get the scriptures, I’ll go with you to Flower Fruit Mountain.”

“Okay,” he said with a slight and content smile.

“Okay,” you returned the smile before your brain caught up with you and you turned away. You both looked at the night sky in silence before you moved closer to the Monkey King whilst not looking at him.

“I guess the real reason is that I wanna spend more time with you,” he said stubbornly as he stole a glance at you.

“I'd like that too,” you smiled to yourself. 

“Good to know,” he nodded slightly, a tiny blush on his usually stoic face.

“Mhm,” you gave a curt nod. 

From there, let's just say that your relationship with Wukong got… far more interesting.

[it-lives-within-the-dark]

Look, I'm not a Sebaciel shipper. I'm not an anti, but I just read the manga and enjoy what's going on without reading too much into it (I'm also old and come from a time where the master word was "ship and let ship"). And I can tell you, the antis are fucking annoying (it was not that bad in the beginning of the manga/and then anime.... I daresay it was almost non-existent, Sebaciel was almost a given at the time). They're the ones spamming the tags with their hate when I just want to look at fanarts, gifs, edits, analysis, etc.... I swear, I see the Sebaciel posts and it's (most of the time) not those posts written in big font about how a part of the fandoms is crazy or should die or whatever else (and those hate posts can be several times a day, it's exhausting). I could have send it to an anti but they would have dismissed this message as a Sebaciel sending them hate or something and hurled more insults and I'm not in the habit of talking to walls. Anyway, you guys are chills and I'm going to finally blacklist the anti tag, never thought I would see the day.

Hey Nonny!

I agree, it's horrible what fandom spaces have turned into. I gotta say, when I fist saw the notification for an anon ask, my first instinct was that I had finally annoyed the wrong person and gotten my first anon hate message. How happy I was to be proven wrong, but I'm also sad because that is what the current state of fandom has done to us.

I've been in fandom for a long, long time; I grew up reading and writing fanfic in the don't like don't read/no flames/ship and let ship era. However, this is really my first time being an active participant in a fandom community and it sure is...something. But that being said, I also sort of get it. Because I too very nearly fell down into that moral purity cesspool about 10 years ago. It's so easy to fall into when that's what you've either intentionally or unintentionally surrounded yourself with. I was lucky to notice before I got too deeply entrenched in it and stopped looking at that kind of content.

The antis would say differently, but I don't care how someone reads/interprets Sebastian and Ciel's (canon) relationship as long as they have evidence to back up their claims; literature is subjective but that doesn't mean you get to say whatever interpretation you want and have it be valid. (Fanfic is another thing entirely - do whatever the hell you want with them and have fun).

Anyway, all this to say: good for you, Nonny, in taking the appropriate steps to curate your online fandom experiences. Life is too short to purposefully expose yourself to things that upset you or make you angry. I think more people could stand to follow your example.

[shiftylinguini]

Fuck I Can't Write Crisis Pack:

@phoebe-delia asked in response to this fun lil ask game:

Do you have any advice for getting out of a slump/getting writing confidence back? . (for the ask anything) Do you have any advice for getting out of a slump/getting writing confidence back?

Now THIS. This is a good question, and something that is very much on my mind and has been for a while, as I am currently absolutely in the midst of this and trying to army crawl my way out. I don't have any magic bullets (is that the saying? idk) but I have been here before and i do have a small arsenal of tips or methods that I find can help me. 

Here is my Fuck I Can't Write Crisis Pack (In no particular order):

Write anything 

This is hardly groundbreaking advice, and it's also the hardest thing to actually do (imo) so do not beat yourself up if it takes a while to get to this. Basically, write ANYTHING―it can be aimless, it can be pointless, it can be crap (crap is subjective!! don't let the brain gremlins win!!). 

Don't think about posting it, don't worry about anyone else ever reading it, just fling a few words onto a page and feel the rusty faucet turn on, proving to yourself that it still works. 

Try and sus out what it is that's blocking you 

Again this one is hard and annoying but functional. Once you can put your finger on the particular reason you're staring at a flashing black line on a blank page it can help you kick that reason off your lawn and into the bin. 

And then, take it out of the bin and be kind to yourself about whatever that reason is. Maybe you feel shit because you're comparing yourself to others, your last fic felt like a lead balloon, you can't muster enthusiasm for what you once loved doing and fear that it's gone forever, you're projecting in a Tumblr post―whatever it is, it's something all the writers you admire and aspire to be like have felt, and been annoyed with themselves for, and so you can wrap it up in a blanket and put it on a shelf and be kind to it so it, (respectfully) shuts the fuck up. 

(and remember, everyone feels insecure about their stuff. Like literally everyone, at some stage, feels like their stuff is rubbish)

Cheat on your OTP 

Okay this one might not work for everyone, but it really does for me lol. Ruts (not the sexy kind) can often come with not wanting to engage in my usual ships, being annoyed by my lack of ability to fucking write them/anything/all my ideas taste like cardboard/bleh, and stepping out on them and reading something new can snap me out of it. Just, an injection of new ideas or scenarios or words or even just a little reprieve from being fed up with myself, which ideally, is why we're all here anyway. 

(And then I come crawling back, and am welcomed with open arms haha)

In a similar vein:

Engage in media 

This subtitle is genuinely terrible, i am sorry, LMAO, but essentially: find a piece of media that makes you go "oh, helLO sailor", unhinge your jaw like a snake, and consume it whole. 

Let it nourish you, inspire you, excite you, making you feel SOMETHING, and then take that and think "fuck, what if i wrote bleepbloopblarp" and even if you write nary a single word, you've thought about it and that fucking counts. 

It might be an album, a book, a song, a show, gifs of a hot person, the wikipedia summary of a movie, literally anything counts here if it makes you feel a twinge of creativity. 

Ask yourself, what would Astolat do? 

No for real. @candybarrnerd and I genuinely use this haha.  

Worried your idea is stupid? Astolat would say write it. 

Worried it's too weird? Nah, just write it. 

It's dumb and no one will read it? Just write it for you *waggles eyebrows* (and then find out that yeah, nah, someone else will absolutely read this and be real fucking happy about it haha.)

Worried you're a one trick pony and have already written this fic before, like, and not even once before, and also you're projecting again in Tumblr post? WRITE IT AGAIN! As Astolat once said, "it's a fic so nice, I wrote it thrice". 

It's good advice. 

Make a friend or lean hard on the ones you have here

Misery loves company because it knows they'll come out of this together :). I know, I know, that's fucking NAFF, but fandom is all about finding like-minded freaks and blowing up their DMs because you saw a gif and now feel a kind of ways about it. 

And lastly: 

FUCK STATS! 

I mean I love stats (yay validation!), but god can they make you feel like a worthless shit (hey where did my validation go :((( ). It can be really insidious, so piss that right off when it starts to fuck with your confidence or outlook on your own writing.

Hopefully there is something useful here, even if it's just looking at this advice and thinking "no that's shit, it's writing POISON" cos then you can maybe do the version you think is NOT shit, and that might work. 

Good luck, fellow travelers!!

[kaleldobrev]

Spitting Image

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Summary: You think Dean looks like one of your favorite characters. Dean on the other hand...doesn’t see the resemblance.

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Cursing (5x), Insanely minor spoilers for S3 The Boys

Authors Note: I’m sure there’s someone that has done this already, but I wanted to write this because I believe Dean would probably be one of the biggest The Boys fans there ever was | I also just really love Soldier Boy and just need S4 | This is my first time using gifs throughout the fic so let me know if that’s something you like. I mainly did it so if you haven’t seen the show you know what scenes I’m referring to. But you don’t have to watch the show in order to read this | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

When you and Dean first met three years ago, the two of you instantly clicked. It was a strange feeling for Dean at first, because the last time he had felt this kind of instant connection to someone, they turned out to be a siren; and he wasn’t about to fall for that again. Thankfully, because you too were a hunter, you had let him subject you to all the usual tests to prove that you weren’t some kind of monster. Silver, holy water, bearing your non-vampire teeth, and even showing off your anti-possession tattoo; the whole nine yards. Dean subjected himself to the same kind of tests as well, to prove to you that he was not a monster either. You had told him that he didn’t have to, that you believed him when he said that he wasn’t some kind of monster, but he did so anyway, without complaint.

Not only did the two of you share a passion for classic rock, Clint Eastwood movies, bacon cheeseburgers, and classic cars, you also shared a love of a tv show that barely anyone he knew, or you watched: The Boys. One of you, neither of you could really remember which of you had first mentioned it, but as soon as one of you did, it was like a light bulb went off. “Holy shit! You watch it too?” You had said. Not soon after that conversation, the two of you had started dating, which caused you to jokingly ask Dean, “Was me liking The Boys the final test if you were going to date me or not Winchester?” He remembered laughing at your comment. “No, I wanted to date you the moment I laid my eyes on you but, you liking the show did give you bonus points.”

Week One. Today was the day; the first three episodes of The Boys was going to be available to watch today, and you honestly couldn’t be more excited. “This is what I hate about tv shows now. One season is like five episodes, and then when it’s over, you have to wait another two or three years for the next season.” Dean started to complain, but you couldn’t help but agree with him. “Back in my day, you only had to wait like four or six months for the new season. Or, if it was a cartoon, the next week.” Dean continued. His, ‘back in my day’ comments only made you chuckle as you were only a few years younger than he was.

“Well, at least we can enjoy three episodes tonight, and then one each week for the next couple of weeks.” You said, trying to add some kind of positivity to the situation. Once you walked into the bedroom you shut the door behind you and started relying the list of quote-on-quote supplies that you needed for premiere night. “Okay, I got the popcorn, you got the beers. We’re both in our comfy lounging clothes. Is there anything else I’m missing?” You asked, making your way to yours and Dean’s shared bed. Dean was already sitting in bed with the remote in his hand, where he had already placed a beer on each nightstand – one for you and one for him.

As you stood at the side of the bed, Dean turned to look over at you with a small smirk on his lips. “Just for you to bring that ass over here with the popcorn.” Dean winked.

“You don’t have to ask me twice.” You replied, giving him a wink back before sitting next to him in bed; both of you sitting with your legs crossed. You placed the popcorn bowl in the middle so the two of you would be able to have easy access. Grabbing the remote that Dean had placed in front of you, you hovered your finger on the play button. “Ready?”

“I’m ready when you are Beautiful.” Dean said – you had never pressed the play button quicker your entire life.

As the two of you were watching the show, there was one scene in particular where you couldn’t help but raise a brow. Without any kind of warning to Dean, you pressed the pause button on a scene that showed a black and white photo of Soldier Boy and a group color photo of Payback. You did a double take just then, looking at the screen and looking at Dean. You couldn’t help but think that Dean looked like a spitting image of the actor that was playing Soldier Boy. After looking at Dean for a second time, he couldn’t help but look at you with a slightly confused, yet annoyed expression on his face. “Y/N, why’d you pause it?” He asked.

“You’re not…you’re not seeing this?” You asked, sounding slightly baffled.

“See what Sweetheart?” He voice sounding a bit more confused now.

You pointed at the screen, as if it should be obvious what he should be looking at. “You look exactly like Soldier Boy.”

Dean turned from looking at you to looking at the screen, eyeing the black and white picture of the man before him. He squinted his eyes, and unsquinted them just as quickly before looking back at you again. “What?”

With an annoyed huff, you got up from your spot on the bed and walked over to the screen so you can point at the picture. “You don’t see it?!” You questioned, amazed that Dean could not see the clear resemblance between him and the actor.

With a sigh, Dean got up from his spot; doing his best to humor you in the moment even though he knew for a fact that there was no way he remotely looked like the character. Getting up close to the screen he stared for a moment, doing his best to focus on the picture. “Nope. I don’t see it. I mean, the dude has a mask on.”

“Dean, that smile, clearly yours. And plus, I think I’ve seen you with a mask on plenty of times to know what you look like with a mask on.” You said. “Two words: Zorro roleplays.”

“I…” As soon as you said that, he looked back at the screen again. “No. I still don’t see it.”

“I honestly don’t know how you’re not seeing it! It’s like looking into a mirror!” Your frustration was starting to show in your voice. You walked back over to the bed and sat back down, Dean following your lead.

“I’m sorry Sweetheart. I’m just not seeing it.” Dean said. “Can we finish watching? We got two more episodes to watch tonight. And we’ve waited like a year and a half for this season.”

“Fine, fine…Soldier Boy.” You whispered the last two words, hoping that Dean didn’t hear you.

Dean’s head snapped to look in your direction. “What?”

“What?” You asked, almost too innocently for his liking.

“Did you…did you just call me Soldier Boy?” The way he asked, you knew for a fact that he had heard you.

You hesitated to answer for a moment. “No…”

Watching episode three was a struggle for you. It was so hard not to picture Dean now in the Soldier Boy scenes because of how much he looked and sounded so much like the actor playing him. “Fuck, you would look so good in that suit.” You whispered, barely audible as you watched a flashback scene taking place about what happened with Soldier Boy and his team when they were in Nicaragua with Grace Mallory.

“Say something Sweetheart?” Dean asked. You could see in your peripheral that Dean had his face looking toward you instead of having his eyes on the screen like you.

“Nope.” You turned to face him. “Why?”

“I thought…” Dean thought for a moment whether or not he was going to comment on what he thought he heard you say. Fuck, you would look so good in that suit. But decided that it would be best to play dumb for now; he didn’t want to bring up the weird argument you guys had during episode one. “Nevermind.”

Week Two. The next week rolled around, and it was time for episode four. “I can’t believe that the season is already halfway over.” You commented.

“Don’t know why they can’t do thirteen episodes like a normal show. None of this eight episodes crap.” Dean complained, doing his best to try and set the show up like you had showed him to do so many times before.

“Alright. As usual, I brought the popcorn, you got the beers, and we’re both in our comfy clothes. Anything else I’m missing?” You walked over to the bed, holding the giant bowl of extra buttered popcorn that Dean had requested.

“You sitting next to me.” Dean winked. “Come bring those soon to be insanely buttered fingers over here.” His comment made you laugh. “What’s so funny Gorgeous?”

You sat on the bed, taking your place next to your boyfriend, and looked at him with absolute awe. “You.” Was all you said before kissing him.

“Oh come on!” You said, pressing the pause button. “He even sounds like you when you sing!”

“What? That sounds nothing like me!” Dean exclaimed.

“Yes, it does. That’s exactly what you sound like when you sing.” You argued back.

“I-I’m not that bad. That guy –” Dean pointed the screen, “that guy sucks!”

“I’ve heard you sing Rapture by Blondie countless times. You sound exactly like that.” Although you had only known Dean for a short amount of time – three years to be exact – you have heard this man sing all the time. More often than you would have thought for someone like him. Between the long car rides, hearing him randomly sing when he’s in the shower or working on Baby; even at karaoke night down at the local bar when he’s had a few too many, you were far too familiar with his singing voice. Your boyfriend couldn’t really sing, but he enjoyed it. He wasn’t horrible, but he wasn’t necessarily the best either.

“I don’t sound like that! That guy right there? Clearly tone deaf.” Dean couldn’t believe what he was hearing right now. He knew for a fact that he wasn’t the best singer; he didn’t sing because he was good, he sang because he enjoyed it. “Are you calling me tone deaf?”

“What? No. Don’t be ridiculous. I’m just saying, I honestly cannot understand how you don’t see or hear that you sound exactly like this guy.” In that moment, you felt an idea hit you. Pointing your finger at Dean you said, “You know what? I’m getting Sam. He’ll agree with me!” Getting out of bed you started making your way toward the door; Dean following close behind you. “Sammy!” You called out once opening the door.

“Y/N! No! We’re not getting Sam involved.” Dean said, a hint of frustration and slight annoyance in his voice.

You stopped dead in the middle of the hallway, turning around to face Dean who you almost collided with. “Cause you know I’m right!”

“What? No! I didn’t say that!” He pinched the bridge of his nose; there was a small part of him that didn’t believe that he was having this kind of quote-on- quote argument with you.

“Sammy!” You called again, practically marching your way down the hallway.

Sam came out of his room, which was pitch black; the only hint of light was coming from the flashing lights of the tv in his room. “Y/N? Everything okay?” Sam asked, partially stepping out of his bedroom.

“Okay. Me and Dean need a debate settled.” You began. “There’s this character on The Boys called Solider Boy and I honestly think he a spitting image of Dean. Even sounds like him. But Dean, can’t see it or hear it.”

“I think she’s wrong. Clearly.” Dean chimed in.

Sam looked at the two of you, almost in disbelief. He didn’t know what he was really expecting to be honest, you and Dean had gotten into all sorts of debates since you two have known each other; some of them more ridiculous than the previous one. In some ways, it almost reminded him of some of the debates him and Dean would get into. They were slightly childish, but also weirdly passionate when it came to their side of the argument. “Alright.” Sam rubbed his face. “Show me what you’re talking about.”

Back in yours and Dean’s room you had episodes three and four pulled up: the flashback scene that had quite a bit of Soldier Boy lines, and episode four where he sang Rapture. After the three of you watched both parts – Dean rolling his eyes 90% of the time; you turned to Sam waiting to hear him hopefully agreeing with you. “I mean…” Sam looked at the scene that you were paused on and looked at Dean and then back at the screen. “Kinda. Like, if you squint.” Sam finally said.

“Ha! I win!” You slapped the sides of your legs as Dean said that. His reaction about what you were expecting.

“No! No! He said if you squint! That’s different than a flat-out no.” You argued.

Week Six. It had been a couple of weeks since you and Dean had your weird argument – more like debate – about whether or not he did in fact look like the actor who played Soldier Boy. You were a firm believer that he in fact did, which you thought was a compliment because you had thought that the guy playing him was probably just as attractive as Dean was. But Dean on the other hand, was of the opinion that he did not look or sound remotely like the guy and could not believe that you could even compare the two. “It’s like comparing apples to rifles.” Dean had told you. “Dean, that doesn’t even make any sense.” You replied. “Exactly my point.” He said.

After the first couple of episodes, you had decided that it was best to not bring up the debate again, knowing that the two of you would never agree. It wasn’t the end of the world of course, but there was a part of you that still could not believe that Dean couldn’t see it. Even Sam; who you really thought was going to agree with you, really didn’t. You had thought that if anyone would agree with you, it would be him.

You were currently in the Bunker kitchen with your back leaning against the counter waiting for the popcorn to be done. You were doing your usual weekly routine where you were the one that made the popcorn and Dean was the one that gathered the beers for the two of you. As you were watching the seconds count down on the microwave you heard heavy boot steps coming into the kitchen; full well knowing that it was Dean. You had been living with the man long enough to know exactly what his footsteps had sounded like, and you were also aware that you and Dean had the Bunker all to yourselves tonight. What made it slightly strange though, is that his boots didn’t sound like the ones that he normally wore. “I was thinking, after we finish the finale tonight, we could go for a nice long walk.” You said as the microwave beeped. Taking the popcorn out of the microwave you turned to see Dean; your jaw dropping. “Son of a bitch. Where did you…How did you…” In front of you, Dean was in full Soldier Boy costume – minus the mask; you were impressed that he even had the shield.

“Uh, Charlie.” He almost seemed embarrassed. “I uh, I called her up a few weeks ago.” He walked into the kitchen more so he was now on the other side of the counter that you were currently behind.

“You…you asked Charlie to get you a…Soldier Boy costume…?” For one of the first times in your life you were utterly speechless. You and Dean had roleplayed before and have seen each other in some…interesting costumes, but for you, this took the cake, especially since you knew Dean thought he looked nothing like the man. You wondered what had changed his mind, or even if he did change his mind, and was just doing this to appease you.

Dean let out a small, slightly embarrassed chuckle. “Yeah.” He put the shield down on the counter. “I asked her to get it for me. Mainly…Mainly for you.” He mumbled the last couple of words, but they were still loud enough for you to hear. Your face lit up a bit at his comment. Even though he really disagreed with you that he looked nothing like the man, that didn’t mean he couldn’t indulge you in your fantasy; considering you have done that plenty of times for him, and well…he did have to agree with you on one thing: he did look pretty good in the costume.

“Well, I uh…” You walked around the counter and stood in front of Dean, placing your hand on his chest. “I’m definitely gonna have to send her a fruit basket cause…fuck.” You wrapped your arms around his neck, and he wrapped his arms around your waist. “You wouldn’t…You wouldn’t want to roleplay would you?”

Dean smirked, clicking his tongue. “Would I have to wear the costume the whole time?”

“Only for a bit.” You smiled.

[puckpocketed]

27/10/2024 - ANA @ NJD

yoink!

gif description and some rambling commentary under the cut.

[ID: Gifset of Anaheim Ducks player Trevor Zegras (#11) vs the New Jersey Devils; the sequence is a takeaway beginning in the Ducks' d-zone. Devils forward Jack Hughes (#86) cuts across the points to receive a pass from teammate Johnathan Kovacevic (#8).

Simultaneously, Zegras steps up to challenge him. As Hughes attempts to escape the pressure Zegras pokes the puck out from under his stick. The puck, now loose, jumps up. Zegras uses the heel of his trailing leg to kick it up to his awaiting stick.

Zegras then handles the puck as teammates Leo Carlsson (#91) and Olen Zellweger (#51, behind Leo) fall in to begin the transition through the neutral zone. Carlsson crosses over and comes up behind Zegras. Hughes, having had the puck stolen, circles back to attack Zegras as he crosses the blue line out to the neutral zone. Zegras sees the pressure and he drops the puck between his skates to Carlsson. /. End ID.]

loved this one. i love all takeaways of course, no matter how they're executed, whether it's via poke check or stick lift, an intercepted pass or even a well placed body check. but this one found the nuclear codes in my hindbrain: the kick. the kick. fun !! :3 i love to see players kick the puck with their skates, that's still so novel to me <33 also, the slowed down gifs are for viewing purposes but you gotta know that the entire sequence played out over 4 seconds of real time. it happened FAST and that makes it so much cooler.

do you ever think about the amazing feats of coordination these guys are pulling off. idk. sometimes i get complacent about it because it's so normal at this level of play. but then i see something like this and i'm reminded that, oh, right, they're doing sicknasty shit constantly!!!!!

speaking as someone who can barely skate in a straight line: the idea that people can be so at ease on the ice, in control of their body and stick, and furthermore so aware of where everyone else is - it absolutely blows me away. when i say i love ice hockey it's these little details. i mean it quite literally: the beautiful game!!!!

hey. hey. did you know takeaways are some kinda phantom stat? <3 well if you didn't, now you do! here's a fun little reddit thread about it. which is responding to this jfresh tweet about the subjectivity of takeaway stat tracking:

if you ever want to bring your peripheral awareness about the subjectivity of stat tracking RIGHT to the forefront of your mind, think about ice hockey i guess? also do you ever think about how other data is tracked? data that's used to inform medicine and algorithms and policy making!! EYE do! i got a friend working for my government's stats gathering arm. by their reports: it's bleak as hell. (numbers are so beautiful and real and true until you realise the people using them are imperfect humans </3 BUT THATS NOT THE POINT HERE. sorry. sorry.)

anyway! i wonder who has inflated stats because of human error/bias? probably everyone in limited capacities... but if i could ask the hockey gods to answer one question: is there a guy who is simply such an outlier because the stats people either liked him so much they credited him with too many takeaways, or they hated him so bad they simply didn't credit him with a bunch he had? curious. SO curious.

and of course, we'll never know because we can't go back in time and crack the stat tracking teams' brains open for every game day to peer inside -> check if they were being biased or not . we'd first have to decide on some final, prescriptive definition of "takeaway" to compare it to - and then where would the takeaways dialectic be?? </3

waaaahhh okay. okay. we skidded dangerously close to completely off-topic. time to steer into the skid!! yay <3 would you like a peek behind the curtain? :3

this sequence i've gifed doesn't even end in a successful zone entry (my gifed sequences rarely end in anything <3). I didn't end up gifing it but here's what happens: Leo cuts diagonally with Z instead of taking another route, and they both end up a little tightly packed near the boards as they try to cross into the o-zone. Leo holds onto the puck right up until he's at the blue line instead of taking up the passing option earlier. He passes to Z with very little space left between them, and then Kovacevic intercepts the pass to poke it out to neutral ice.

i realise this is making it sound like i think its Leo's fault the play didn't amount to some sicknasty extended o-zone time. truthfully, i don't think it was. it may have looked like he could've done something different, but that's easy to say from the comfort of my office chair. plus. i dislike results-based conclusions... just because something failed doesn't mean it wasn't a good choice to make under those circumstances.

what then are the components of a successful zone entry? speed? fakes? agility? your teammates giving you puck support? good passing? how does this differ going by each type? <- not actually asking for any answer here, i expect to do some digging myself <3 (though. if anyone has helpful papers on hand please see me in my office??) unfortunately im tired and i have gone into the relevancy DITCH with this skid (tokyo drifted into it, even!!!!) so i'll wrap it up here.

if you made it this far, expect some kind of research dump after i'm done churning through the backlogs of my favourite substack writers and podcasts and other reference materials. have you ever tried to understand something you only have the vaguest tangential irl experience with. im doing the equivalent of trying to understand the taste of black tea and the effects of caffeine, whilst having only ever had decaff vanilla lattes.

[evita-shelby]

Dance with the Devil

Gif by @crackshipandcrap

Another tommy and eva ficlet where they met before black star day

Cw:implied past alcohol abuse

It is out of guilt that he accepts Polly’s suggestion, no, orders that he talk to the lovely Miss Smith at John’s wedding.

She is a beauty, wealthy beyond imagination and has that spark of magic that beckons him to her even before he even truly met her.

Grace was enough to distract him from her, but because Polly convinced Arthur to have her work tonight, she was not here to keep him from being drawn to the pretty witch like a moth to a flame.

“Do you drink?” he asks offering some of the bathtub gin made for the occasion.

“I have been trying not to.” She smiled with a hint of embarrassment.

There was a past there, one that didn’t fit the refined lady she gave off. Grace had that, something peeking behind the mask she wears.

“Can’t be that bad.” Tommy tries to see what it was she hides behind her all-knowing eyes.

“Trust me, it was bad.” The witch admits brushing a stray hair away from her face and yet takes the offered bottle and drinks like someone who’s been to war.

“’Cause I have been, Mr. Shelby.” She spoke as if she’d read his mind.

His mother used to do that, Polly too until they took Sally and Michael from her and her magic left with them too.

“Call me Tommy, then.” Perhaps it won’t be as bad as he’d thought. “Do you dance?”

The witch laughed, “I was wondering when you’d get the nerve to ask me, Tommy.”

He likes the sound of her laugh and the way she says his name, despite the strange American lilt to it that he found grating amongst soldiers and nurses he’d met.

“You don’t look like someone who likes to dance.” The witch comments after he reminds his friends and family about the Tommy that died in France.

“Appearances can be deceiving, Miss. Smith.” He remarks and hopes she can keep up.

“Call me, Eva.” She kicked off her fine shoes and gave him another reason to think this scheme of Polly’s wasn’t half bad.

Polly really knew what she was doing, she’d picked out Esme from the Lee girls, Martha before her, Greta and now Eva. She’d make a killing if she ever charged for her matchmaking.

He hasn’t danced like this in a while, he’d danced with Grace alone in her room, but that had been to woo her. This was done not to woo Eva, but to enjoy his brother’s wedding with a girl he might consider wooing later depending on how the night went.

“Won’t your barmaid mind?” she teases.

“She’s not mine.” He answered. Not yet anyways, or even not ever, jury is still out on that after all.

“I would be careful; she is a loyalist like the inspector who threw out all my lovely things into the street.” The dark-haired woman warns with a tone of disgust towards the subject. “Same paramilitary group and all.”

That was far too specific to be just a hunch.

“Did you figure that out with your second sight, Evie?” He asked, wondering what she knew of Grace.

“That and a specific set of skills she and I share, though I am obviously the superior one.” she smiled like the cat that ate the cream.

A spy. He was falling in love with a spy, a narc put in place by his own enemies.

“Don’t beat yourself up for it, for as great a head you have on your shoulders, the other one you have can make you ignore it when it comes to women.” She is witty, sharp like a pretty knife.

Polly’s influence, he thinks. Or she was already like this and that was why she got on so well with his aunt and sister.

“What else do you know?” he won’t be letting her go now. Not when she’s got his attention like this.

“They are plotting something tonight; I don’t know what it is but they will blame it on you. We can stop it if we act now.”

There was no real doubt that she spoke the truth, Tommy had let his cock and loneliness serve himself and his family on a platter to their enemies. Polly ,as always, was right.

“We?” the word and the surety she added herself into this mess is not lost on him.

“As you yourself just said, your prick served you on a platter to your enemies.” Eva answered. “Besides, don’t you want to see a professional in action?”

[reikunrei]

Observations on the Behavior of Lights in Stranger Things - What Really Happened to Will in Season 1?

Recently, I watched all of Stranger Things again with the purpose of keeping an eye out for interesting details that I might have missed while just casually watching.  This resulted in the flickering pattern of the Christmas lights in the Byers’ house in season 1 catching my eye, and now my question is:

Was it really Will talking through all of the lights in season 1?

I do believe that he’s responsible for certain instances, such as the “blink once for yes, twice for no” conversation with Joyce.  However, I’m not so sure about many of the other moments.

While I do have several possible theories for what could be happening, my goal with this post isn’t to propose any one theory (or multitude of theories) as an explanation or as fact.  I’m not that confident in myself!  Rather, I wanted to catalog and share all of the different ways that the lights behave throughout the show, who is present in each scene, what activities are being performed, and how that makes certain scenes across seasons link together to possibly explain the disparities in season 1.

I haven’t seen anyone talk in-depth about the behavior of the lights, despite it being such an important visual element in the show, so I wanted to share my observations and thoughts and see if anyone else has ideas as well!  I won’t be getting too off topic, and will only briefly mention details and information other than the lights to offer any necessary context, or things I find interesting to aid in some of my theories.  Therefore, this might not be a totally complete and comprehensive post!  I’ll get into personal interpretations and theories later, but I want to start with merely the objective appearance of the lights and how they aid in displaying the possible lore of the show.

Anyway, buckle in, because this is gonna be long as fuck!

First, let’s start with objective observations of how the lights behave throughout the show.

Here’s a list of descriptions of what each “type” is and the names I’ve attributed to them.  I’ve also provided some visual examples for clarity, which I took only from season 1.  Apologies for the low quality, I just used the free adobe gif converter tool lmao.

Flicker:  Could be blamed on “faulty wiring” or a loose socket; the light appears to go on and off.  Examples include the first time we see Joyce follow the lights leading to Will’s room in season 1, or when Terry manipulates the lights to lead El through the house back to the TV room in season 2.

Bloom:  When lights suddenly become impossibly bright.  Examples include when the lightbulb in the Byers’ shed gets bright when the Demogorgon corners Will, or when El uses her full strength against 001 in season 4 in the lab.

Strobe:  When the lights require a photosensitivity warning; going on and off rapidly, leaving split seconds of no light.  Examples of this include when the Demogorgon appears at the Byers’ house in season 1, when they’re fighting the Flesh Flayer in season 3, and when 001 is on his rampage in season 4.

Flutter:  I might use this sometimes to describe when a light flickers, but it’s much softer and doesn’t necessarily appear to turn on and off; rather, it might merely get brighter and dimmer.  Also like “faulty wiring.”  Examples of this include when the light in the door at the Wheeler’s house reacts to the teens passing through in the UD in season 4, and the lights at the Russian prison when the Demogorgon is still locked in its cage.

Snap or Blink:  When lights flick on suddenly, but aren’t turning rapidly on and off.  Examples of this include some of the ways the Christmas lights behave in season 1.

Glow:  When lights fade in and out softly without also becoming impossibly bright.  Examples of this include when anyone interacts with lights from the UD.

A lot of these definitions are very subjective, and many of them are likely to overlap with each other, and I might view one scene as behaving one way, while you might think it’s another, and that’s fine!  Any scenes that aren’t very distinctly different will likely end up grouped together anyway.

And now, for the longest part of this post: the play-by-play of each instance the lights do (or don’t) act up throughout the whole show.

I considered removing this list and just sticking with the parts I find relevant for my discussions later in the post, but I didn’t want to cherry pick.  I also considered putting this at the end of the post for supplemental reading for anyone who was curious, but I feel that it’s important to objectively see the behavior of the lights first, and I want you to draw your own parallels and conclusions before my biases and interpretations come into play! But you can also just skip it if you want to, I can't stop you.

I haven’t added any timestamps or what episode each scene happens in, but I feel like they’re specific enough that you could go searching for them if you wanted to see it for yourself.  And I encourage you to do so!  It’s really quite fun to track down all of the discrepancies like this, imo.

Anyway, let’s go!!

Season 1

When Will first comes across the Demogorgon on his bike, the headlight flickers and goes out very briefly before turning back on.

When Will tries to call 911, as soon as it picks up, rather than getting the operator, we hear static and indistinct screeching/growling.  Then, the chain lock on the door comes undone and he drops the phone, which is now beeping with its off-hook tone.

When the Demogorgon appears in the shed behind Will, the lightbulb doesn’t flicker, but it does bloom bright and then abruptly switch off when the two of them disappear.

When Hopper investigates the shed later, as he touches the hooks where the gun had been, the lightbulb flickers once and then goes out.  He notices some damaged shelves and other messed up objects in the back corner, and investigates with a flashlight, which holds on steadily.  Then Callahan comes into the shed and startles Hopper, which also makes the light flicker once and come back on.

The first time the phone rings at the Byers’ house, Joyce answers and hears Will’s breathing.  There’s static, his breathing, and then a garbled chitter from a Demogorgon (subtitles say “garbled voice chitters”), followed by a growl and the phone getting fried.  The lights do not flicker.

The phone rings the second time at the Byers’ house and Joyce answers.  She hears Will say, “Mom,” and the lights in the house flicker/flutter briefly.

Then, the phone gets fried again and the lights flicker at the same time.

Then, the light in the hall ahead of her on the wall flickers/flutters, followed by the lamp at the end of the hall, and then the stereo in Will’s room blares “Should I Stay or Should I Go.”  We also see the lights flickering under the door.  When Joyce opens the door, the stereo is playing but no lights are flickering.

After she stands there for a moment, the lights flicker, and she touches a lamp that then surges super bright, and then everything abruptly turns off.  Then, the Demogorgon starts to come through the wall and Joyce flees the house to try to drive away.  However, the stereo turns on again and the lights flicker in Will’s room, and she goes back in.

Karen and Holly visit Joyce after she has up all the Christmas lights.  One string of lights leading to Will’s room blinks on one bulb at a time, until a dozen or so are lit.  Then, they all blink off at the same time, and then repeat the single-blink pattern again.  Holly follows it to Will’s room.

We see the circle of lamps that Joyce has set up around Will’s bed, and all of the bulbs are blinking on in a repeating pattern, around in a circle.  They speed up, getting faster and faster when Holly stands in the middle of them all, until they suddenly all go out.  Then, Holly sees the Demogorgon begin to push through the wall, but Joyce and Karen find her first.

Joyce is at home when another string of lights starts blinking in the living room.  Chester barks at it until she notices and follows it.  A dozen or so blink on in a line, one bulb at a time, then all go out, and it repeats several times until Joyce follows it to the crawlspace in the wall.  The trail of lights only stops after the bundle of white lights glows the first time.

The bundle of white lights glows when she asks if Will is there.  They fade in and fade out.  They don’t appear to be any brighter than they would be normally plugged in, but it’s possible that they might be brighter than normal.  Then, she asks him to blink once for yes and twice for no.  I also noticed that, when she’s holding them while they’re off, we can still see the filaments of the bulbs like they’re hot.  With every question she asks, they glow in the same exact way.

Joyce makes the alphabet on the wall, and with the way it’s laid out, it’s one bulb per letter.  There’s no extraneous bulbs floating between letters or anything.  When those come on, they blink like the trails of lights did before, and sometimes they blink relatively fast between letters.

Joyce receives the RIGHT HERE and RUN messages.  After the RUN message, all of the lights in the house start strobing and the Demogorgon breaks fully through the wall and Joyce runs out of the house.

When Nancy crawls through the gate in the tree, her flashlight flickers and turns off for very brief instances, but always comes back on.  When she gets closer to the Demogorgon, it flickers more.

When Jonathan, Nancy, and Steve are at the Byers’ house, the lights start strobing when the Demogorgon shows up.  When it disappears while they’re in Will’s room, the lights go back to normal and stay on.  Steve makes to leave, but the lights start strobing again as he watches from outside.

The lights suddenly all go out, leaving Nancy and Jonathan in the dark, as it looms up behind Jonathan, and the lights begin strobing again when it attacks him and pins him to the floor.

The lights continuously strobe as they fight with the Demogorgon, and they only stop once it disappears after getting caught in their trap.

As Joyce and Hopper walk through the UD Byers’ house, the Christmas lights glow as they walk under them, fading in and out and following their presence, rather than blinking like we’d seen them behave before.  We also see one of the street lights flutter/flicker as they walk down the street.

When El uses her powers to fight the agents at the school, their flashlights and the lights in the hall flicker and strobe.

When the Demogorgon shows up at the school, they strobe.

When Will coughs up the slug in the bathroom, the lights flicker when he goes in and out of his vision of the UD.

Season 2

When we see Kali use her powers for the first time, no lights flicker.

The games and lights at the arcade only flicker after Will falls into his UD vision, then they turn off completely.

When we first see the lab burn the gate, none of the lights around them flicker.

When Will sees the Mind Flayer out his front door in the middle of the night, none of the lights flicker.

At the same time, the alarms at the lab start going off as their research equipment inside the UD gets fried, and the lights only stop flashing when it gets fixed in the following episode.

When we see El use her powers sparingly at the cabin, the lights don’t flicker.

This includes when she “finds” Mike.

When Dustin finds Dart in the trash can, the light above it doesn’t flicker at all.  Even when Dart gets worked up, no lights react.

When Will finds Dart and is startled out of the bathroom, he goes out into the hall and looks around like he senses something.  Then, the lights all start flickering/strobing until it turns into the UD.

When El has her frustrated outburst at the cabin with Hopper, she shatters all of the windows but none of the lights appear to react.

When El “finds” Terry, no lights flicker.

When Hopper first goes into the tunnel, his flashlight doesn’t flicker.  It holds steady the entire time he’s down there.

Terry makes the lights flicker/flutter in a trail around the house until El joins her in the TV room again.  Then she changes the channels until it hits static, and El is certain it’s Terry telling her she wants to talk.

When Steve and Dustin go into the storm cellar after Dart, no lights flicker.

When Hopper goes down the lift to see the extended gate, no lights flicker.

When Kali and El confront Ray, El makes the TV turn off, but the lights don’t react otherwise.  When Kali makes him see them as kids, the lights flicker between their changing appearances, but this may have been a deliberate choice on Kali’s part for the drama of it all.

When El strangles Ray, the lights don’t react.

When the Demodogs come up the elevator shaft, the lights don’t flicker.  They also hold steady even when they break through the glass, the only flashing is that of the alarm.

Then the power through the whole lab goes out.  The lights flicker as they go out, but otherwise the rest of their time before they return power is completely dark.  Flashlights don’t even flicker as they maneuver through the building.

When Will screams, “Why am I tied up?” in the shed, the lights in there and in the house begin flickering/strobing.  They only stop when he deflates and settles back in his chair.

When Will figured out where they were, it didn't make the lights react.

When they’re at Hopper’s cabin, the electricity doesn’t go wack when Will wakes up right away.

The flashlights don’t flicker when the kids go down into the tunnels, not even when they light the hub on fire.

When the Mind Flayer finally tries to leave Will’s body, then the lights start flickering.  They continue when he strangles Joyce.  The lights only stop when the Mind Flayer is totally gone from his body and flees the cabin.

When El closes the gate, the lights bloom super bright.  The car headlights, the lights at the cabin, and likely elsewhere that we don’t see.  Then, they gently fade back to normal when she finishes.

Season 3

When the power goes off the first time the Russians turn on the key in Hawkins, it just flat shuts off like a normal blackout.  The second time, just the magnets fall and we don’t see another power outage.

When Billy gets dragged into the steel works, the lights don’t flicker or anything.  This could just be because there’s no real power at the warehouse, but there are some lights on the outside and his car is still there.  None of these appear to react in any way.

When Billy runs out, we still don’t see any lights react and his car works fine.  Only when he gets to the phone booth does anything happen.  When he recalls what just happened before speaking to the 911 operator, it’s possible lights may have been flickering inside the steel works, but it may just have been a visual stylistic choice to have dark frames interspersed in his memory.  Still, it’s reminiscent of the strobing of lights.

The light in the phone booth flickers, the phone gets distorted and full of static, and then the power completely shuts off as he’s plunged into his UD vision.

When Heather meets the Flesh Flayer, we again see no lights flicker.

When Billy is first trapped in the sauna, no lights flicker.  After he busts through the window and Lucas hits him with the Wrist Rocket, the lights finally begin strobing as he’s “activated.”  At the same time, Mrs. Driscoll becomes activated at the hospital and the lights start strobing in her room.

The lights continue to strobe as Billy and El face off, and they appear to strobe even faster when El uses her powers on him.  When El throws him through the wall, the lights keep flickering, and finally stop when the Mind Flayer picks Billy up and walks him away.

When Tom shows up at Driscoll’s now-empty room with Nancy and Jonathan, the lights inside start flickering, and then the lights in the hall start up too.  As they’re chased by Bruce, the lights across the entire floor are strobing heavily.  Nothing is flickering on the main floor where the kids are.

The lights seem to ease up just a little when Nancy and Jonathan get far enough away from Bruce, but they speed up again when he catches them up.

After the two of them are killed, the lights start to slow down but are still flickering.  Now we also see that the lights on the main floor begin to flutter, light enough that Will is the only one to notice it first.

Then, the lights upstairs begin strobing again as the bodies melt.  When the Tom and Bruce sludges meet, the lights go out completely for a few beats, leaving us in darkness, before abruptly and rapidly strobing as the creature stands up and roars.  They continue to strobe as El fights it and flings it out of the window.

As the Flesh Flayer gets closer to them at the cabin, the lights begin flickering/fluttering very sparingly.  When the first tendril breaks through the wall, they flicker faster, and may technically be strobing, but it’s not as noticeable with the soft cabin lighting.  They don’t get any more or less intense when El uses her powers.

When we first see the blood from El’s wound “come alive” on the floor of the supermarket, the lights don’t flicker.  They only flicker when Billy shows up and touches it to confirm it’s El’s.

When El uses her powers to save the Scoops Troop, it doesn’t make any of the lights go off.  The only lights that flash are the car headlights, but that’s because she set off the alarm deliberately.

When the slug on El’s leg first starts moving, no lights react, and they continue to behave normally even when Jonathan cuts the wound open and fishes in her leg.  When E uses her powers to rip it out herself, though, the glass of the storefront behind them shatters and the lights flicker/strobe.  Once it’s out and flung away, they go back to normal.

When the Flesh Flayer first shows up on the roof, the lights don’t react.  They only start to flicker and strobe when it settles on the floor of the mall and roars.  While the Flesh Flayer is present, the lights continue to strobe throughout the whole mall.

An odd discrepancy is that when they all get outside to try to leave, the outdoor lights aren’t flickering despite them having clearly been flashing when Steve saw the mall from Wheathertop.  They also don’t flicker when the Flesh Flayer crawls over to chase them in their car.

As El, Mike, and Max are running back into the mall in the back halls to flee from Billy, the lights are strobing.  They continue when Billy gets El back to the food court.

The lights continue to strobe as they fight with the fireworks, and keep strobing in the same amount when they run out of ammo and Billy and the Flesh Flayer face off.  They continue even when Billy dies.

The lights only stop once the Flesh Flayer is in a heap on the ground after the key is destroyed.  Some lights do keep flickering, but it appears to be from structural damage.

When we see the Demogorgon in the pit in Russia, the lights flicker when it comes out of its cage.

Season 4

When we see the beginnings of the massacre, no lights are reacting.  When Brenner wakes up, they are.  By the time Brenner makes it to the Rainbow Room, the lights have stopped.

When Chrissy is in the bathroom, the lights start strobing when “her mom” makes the comment about loosening her dress.  Then the door is rattled as they continue to strobe, before suddenly stopping.

When Chrissy first falls into her trance in Eddie’s trailer, the lights don’t flicker.  In her trance, we see the lights flickering in her house.  This happens at the same time as when Eddie tries to wake her up and the lights in his trailer flicker.  They become more strobe-like when she lifts into the air and is killed.

Max tells Dustin that the lights in her trailer flickered too, also fairly close to strobing, but only for a few brief seconds.  They stopped just before Eddie ran out of his trailer.

When the Hawkins gang all leave the trailer park, the Chrissy gate starts to grow (though still looks more like a water stain) and the lights flicker and the trailer shakes briefly.

In Max’s trance at school, none of the lights flicker in or out of the trance.

When Victor tells Nancy and Robin about his history, we see Henry sitting in the house drawing and the light behind him flutters.

When the murders happen, it starts with the radio coming on and flipping through channels.  The lights only begin to flicker when Victor tries to touch the device, and they continue as he tries to escape with the kids.  When Victor comes out of his trance, the lights are back to normal as Henry lays on the ground.

When El is first in NINA, when she gets the memory “wrong,” the lights flicker and go out before “resetting” the memory.

When the Hawkins gang first gets to the Creel house, the lights are all off, no power at all.  When Steve and Dustin go upstairs, one of the overhead lights flutters to life very briefly.

After El runs in and out of doors at HNL, she stops in the hall frustratedly and the lights flicker until they turn off, and the memory resets again.

The light next to Max and Lucas starts glowing and pulsing, flickering lightly, then goes out when Max tries to touch it.  The flickering/glowing moves to a new spot.  They are glowing, fading in and out, with a slight flickering mixed in, as Vecna moves past them.

We see the circle-of-lightbulbs memory, and when 002 does it, they move very fast.  It’s hard to tell if they’re snapping on and off as he makes the light move around or if they’re fading in and out because of how fast it is.  When El tries it, one bulb glows and flutters very weakly, then fades out before she can get it to move.

The exercise is interrupted by sudden memories of the massacre.  Her hands are covered in blood, she’s suddenly alone, and when she walks out into the hall toward the Rainbow Room, the lights are strobing.

The Hawkins gang gets together in the Creel living room (?) and the chandelier above them glows and flutters.  Then, it goes out and they run around with their flashlights.  Their flashlights glow as they follow him to the attic.  We can see off screen that the light in the attic is fluttering/flickering.

Then, as they all stand under the light, the bulb and their flashlights begin to glow and pulse, no flickering now, just a steady fading brighter and dimmer.  When Patrick is killed, all of the lights bloom impossibly bright, before all of the bulbs shatter one by one in quick succession.

When El uses her burst of power when she tries to escape NINA the second time, the lights around her bloom super bright, and some shatter, sending sparks flying behind her.  After the outburst, some of the lights are still flickering, but more like they’ve been damaged.

During the pushing exercise at the lab, the lights don’t flicker, even when El uses her grief to give her strength.

In any other snippets El gets of the massacre, the lights around her flicker.

When Steve approaches Watergate, his flashlight holds steady, and continues to hold steady the whole time it’s in the UD.

Season 4 continued bc of the way text posts work i guess

When they get to the UD Wheeler house, the lights at the door in the RSU flutter gently.  Then, Steve hears Dustin talking.  They try to mess with the lights, but when Nancy tries a nearby table lamp, it doesn’t react at all.  The light switch also doesn’t work.  Then, they see the sparkly particles around the chandelier when the flashlight beam runs over it.  When they touch it, it glows and pulses, getting brighter the closer they are.

When the demogorgon in Russia roars from behind its door, the lights outside flutter, but it could also be shoddy wiring.

When they use the pegboard lightbox, the particles appear in the UD after they turn it on.  The lightbox glows and fades when they use it, no flickering at all.

The door to the demogorgon pit opens and the lights are the same, just very sparingly fluttering.  They actually start flickering when the Demogorgon rushes out.  They continue even when Hopper gets the spear in its mouth, and they flicker in the Demogorgon cage once Hopper and Antonov get inside.  However, when they get out the other side of it, those lights aren’t flickering at all.

The lights in RSU Eddie’s trailer don’t flicker when they get the gate open.

When El takes Soteria out of 001, the lights strobe and flicker, and only stop once it’s out and the two of them settle.

When Nancy is in her trance, we don’t see any lights in the RSU flickering.

When El leaves the closet to find 001, the lights in the hall are flickering.  They begin strobing the closer she gets to the Rainbow Room.  They’re the most intense in the room itself and only stop once 001 has killed 002.

When Nancy goes through the Creel house in Vecna’s mind, she follows Henry and sees lights fluttering around/behind him.

When Henry turns back the clock, we don’t see any lights flicker.

When El and 001 face off, the lights strobe rapidly.  When El gets the memory of her birth as 001 has her in the air, about to kill her, the lights continue to strobe, but also bloom impossibly bright as she gets up the strength to fight back.  She gets him through the window and pinned to the wall as the lights strobe.  Lights in real life in NINA even begin to flicker.  In the memory, the lights go dim, but continue to flicker as she dematerializes him.  Then, as the red gate glows in front of her, the lights in the rest of the room go out completely.  The vines crawl inside the gate and it closes, and the lights flicker back on and hold steady when Brenner enters the room.

As Nancy walks through Hawkins lab during the massacre, the lights are strobing.  “Take a seat, Nancy.”  The lights flicker and go out, and when they flicker back on, she’s tied to the tattoo chair.  When Vecna shows her his plan, the lights strobe rapidly.

The lights in the prison are still flickering as the Demogorgon runs around in the pit.  When they get to the room with the tied up Demodog, the lights are strobing in there as well.  When Hopper kills it, the lights stop.  The presence of the part of the Mind Flayer (?) doesn’t seem to make the lights react.

When El wakes up and uses her powers for real, all of the lights in NINA flicker and strobe.

When El forces the door open to leave, the lights flicker and continue to do so when she fights with Brenner.  They only stop when the drugs kick in and she falls to the ground.

When Erica finds Vecna, the lantern glows and pulses rhythmically with his presence.

When El gets in the pizzeria bath and starts to find Max, the lights flicker rapidly.  They get more and more intense, closer to strobing, the farther she goes.  Then, once she’s settled in Max’s mind, they continue to flicker/strobe, but not overbearingly so.

As Max runs through the Creel house in her trance, the lights flicker.

When the Russia crew gets back to the prison, the room where the Demodogs were has some lights flickering, possibly also from damage.

In the RSU, the lights aren’t flickering at the Creel house; not the lantern nor Lucas’s flashlight.

The flashlights of those in the UD Creel house don’t flicker.

In Russia, as they wander closer to where the creatures are, the lights flicker more and more.

The lights at Eddie’s trailer don’t react, even when the bats attack.

The lights in the pizzeria strobe faster when El starts fighting Vecna.  No lights react in Max’s mind.

While El is choking and during Mike’s speech, the lights in the pizzeria are a little more subdued but are still flickering.  They pick up speed and intensity when she gets her strength back.

When the Demogorgon is killed in Russia, the lights stop.

When the gate in the Creel house opens, the lantern doesn’t react in any way.  The lights in Eddie’s trailer don’t react either, other than from structural damage when the gate bursts outward.  The lights of the nearby trailers don’t react.  Even the lights at the Wheeler house don’t react during the “earthquake.”

The lights in the pizzeria are still flickering as El tries to save Max, but less intense than before.

When El tries to go into Max’s mind at the hospital, no lights in the room react.

Tired of reading?  Too bad!  Time to get into my personal thoughts, baby.

What Can We Infer from Each of These Different Behaviors?  What Scenes are Linked to One Another?

Obviously, there’s going to be moments where the lights are used for stylistic reasons, and so they may behave in a certain way purely because it “looks nice.”  However, I want to mention again my whole reason for noting down all of these observations:

The fact that we have been told that, whenever any lights react in season 1 (other than the strobing when the Demogorgon appears), they should be attributed to Will.  And yet, there is a distinct difference in the way a person interacts with the lights from within the UD and when they’re affected by some other energy or manipulation.  Specifically, the way the colorful Christmas lights behave early on in the season when “Will” is manipulating them, and when they react to the presence of Joyce and Hopper in the UD.

If they were purely for visual stylization, they likely would have behaved in the same manner: either all of them would have glowed and faded in and out, or they all would have snapped on one at a time.  The fact that they behave so differently has me so interested in what was really happening there.

So, certain behaviors can be linked to certain kinds of scenes:

Flickering lights most often occur during lower-energy moments, or almost like “transitional” details within a scene.  This includes the light in the shed flickering on and off when Hopper investigates; when visuals change such as the visions of the RSU vs UD, or even when Kali changes her and El’s appearance to Ray; when the Demogorgon is present, but not on a rampage.  It also happens as a way to grab the attention of a character.  This includes the lights flickering in the Byers’ house to get Joyce into Will’s room; Terry “talking” to El in season 2; and, while less deliberate, grabs the attention of Will in season 3 in the hospital.  It also often happens in conjunction with something else that requires more of our attention, and appears as an additional background detail.  This includes when the lights flicker as the Byers’ phone gets fried and when the Chrissy gate grows minutely.  Out of any kind of light behaviors, this one feels the most “unimportant,” for lack of a better word.  It’s used in a lot of different situations, which can only loosely be linked to one another simply because it’s a different behavior from the more notable or “important” ones.

Blooming lights happen very sparsely, and so it’s very easy to pick out.  The only times lights bloom impossibly bright are when the Demogorgon finds Will in the shed; when Joyce touches the lamp in Will's room; when El closes the gate in season 2; when Patrick is killed; when El fights off the guards at NINA when she tries to escape after her first bath (and tbh this one is a little more up in the air for me, as it’s not as blatantly an example of this phenomenon); and finally when she garners the strength to fight back against 001 in the HNL massacre.  That is a total of 5 (or 6) times in the entire show thus far.  It’s been most frequently tied to El using her powers during great moments of strength, but it’s also connected to Vecna when he obtains another victim, which he admitted was a way to acquire El’s powers.  Overall, the blooming lights happen during extremely high-energy moments in which an action requires a lot of effort, and seems to be directly tied to El and Vecna’s powers.  That leaves the season 1 Demogorgon as the only outlier, but we won’t touch that just yet!

Strobing lights are what I would consider to be the most recognizable light behavior in Stranger Things.  They’re tied to very high-energy, chaotic moments.  They occur most frequently whenever a Demogorgon appears and is on a rampage; when the Mind Flayer appears and is on a rampage; when El uses her powers to fight back against someone other than the Demo-monsters (such as in the school in season 1 when they’re cornered by the HNL agents), or in generally high-stress situations such as removing Soteria from 001’s neck and finding Max; and when Vecna and 001 use his powers.

Fluttering lights are a little harder for me to pick out, as you probably noticed with the several times I accompanied it with “flickering.”  For the most part, fluttering lights are something soft and inconsequential.  More like the last ripple on the surface rather than the drop of water itself, if that makes sense.  It’s also most often tied to something more akin to actual electrical damage or faulty wiring than anything actually being supernaturally manipulated, at least in my opinion.

Snapping or Blinking lights are also extremely sparse.  The only actual moments I feel 100% confident in attributing this label to are the Christmas light trails in season 1, and even that only happens twice.  I also connect it to the alphabet, as they do individually blink on and off rather than fading into light.  It can also be attributed to the circle of lamps that Joyce set up in Will’s room, and that scene immediately reminded me of the circle-of-bulbs experiment we see El’s memory of in season 4.  However, as I stated previously, it was hard for me to tell if the bulbs were fading on rather than snapping on when 002 was manipulating them, and when we saw El try it, the bulb faded in and glowed gently rather than merely snapping on.  However, it’s not a stretch to assume that a light could just be snapped on by using their powers if they were fine-tuned enough.

Glowing lights are most often connected to manipulation from the UD.  This includes the bundle of white lights, the colorful Christmas lights that glow when Jim and Joyce pass under them, anytime the Hawkins gang follows Vecna’s presence in the Creel house, and when the teens talk to Dustin, Lucas, and Erica in the Wheeler house.  I took zero notes of any glowing lights in season 2 or 3, because at that time, there was nobody in the UD that we were immediately concerned with.

So, now that all of the evidence is laid before us, we return to my main question:

What was going on with Will in season 1?

We’ve established that when someone physically touches or interacts with a light in the UD, they glow in the RSU, fading in and getting brighter the closer you get to it.  So, why do the Christmas lights behave so differently?

When I first noticed how they blinked on in their little trails in the scenes with Holly and Joyce, part of me thought that maybe it was something that was retconned later, and it was always meant to be Will physically interacting with them to get the attention of the people in the RSU.  However, I knew that this could be tested when Joyce and Hopper were in the UD.  So, I eagerly waited for that scene in the final episode.

And, boy, when I tell you I was excited, I was excited.

It was immediately proven that when someone physically interacts with lights from the UD, they glow and fade rather than blinking on and off.  It was a deliberate choice to make the Christmas lights in “Will” scenes blink on in rapid succession, and a deliberate choice to make them fade in and out when Joyce and Hopper passed underneath them.  We see the lights behave in the same way throughout season 4, where we’re directly shown people interacting with them in the UD.

So, automatically, those blinking trails and the alphabet are an obvious outlier and cannot be immediately attributed to Will’s physical manipulation.

Now I want to discuss some specific scenes and details I found interesting or important, both in the way they connect to moments in season 1, and simply for the lore of the UD and its inhabitants:

In season 4, when Nancy first runs to one of the lamps in the Wheeler house to try and turn it on, it doesn’t react.  We don’t even see any of the glowing particles around it.  This made me wonder if the light possibly no longer exists in that spot in the house in the RSU, since we know that the UD is stuck on November 6, 1983.  Nancy makes a point to pick out all of the things that are different in her bedroom, so it’s easy to believe that a simple table lamp may have been moved to another spot, so that its mirror in the UD is no longer accurate, and therefore there is no power in the RSU to manipulate in that spot.  I tried keeping an eye out for it in shots of the RSU, but couldn’t spot it to prove whether this was a correct assumption.

I also want to highlight again the similarities between the circle of lamps in Will’s room in season 1, and the circle-of-bulbs exercise we see in season 4.  The lights in Will’s room do not blink on randomly like they do the first time Joyce goes in there, or when the lights strobe around a whole room.  These lights continuously blink on in a circle over and over again, and speed up, appearing much like how the circle-of-bulbs looks when 002 is manipulating them.  Even when they get going really fast, they don’t lose their pattern, and they do not behave like Will’s in the UD running around in a circle through these little spots of glowing particles.  I’m extremely drawn to how similar it is to the scene in season 4, and I can’t help being convinced that we’re meant to tie them together.

The alphabet is also interesting to me.  It makes sense that it would be Will talking to Joyce, trying to communicate that he’s right there, that she needs to run before the monster shows up, but the behavior of the lights is too similar to the blinking trails to fully believe they’re being physically manipulated by someone in the UD.  I’ll say that when I was watching the scene, I hesitated a little bit, and am not entirely certain where to place these lights.  While they do blink on and off rather than explicitly fading in and out, they don’t appear to be as snappy as the trails from before.  There are also moments where it looks like some of the letters that are farther apart blink on too fast, seemingly faster than Will might have been able to achieve with his physical body.

I was also very interested in the fact that, when Joyce is explaining to Hopper that she “just talked to Will,” she’s far more insistent on the glowing bundle of white lights being Will rather than the alphabet.  It could just be because she’s trying to not make herself out to be crazy, but they could have very easily made her insist on the alphabet being Will as well.  Throughout season 1, there’s several instances where she talks about how she can “feel” Will, and even admits that she can no longer “feel” him after she hacks open the front wall of the house when she saw Will there.  I’m inclined to believe that she somehow can feel him.  Whether it be supernatural or pure motherly instinct, something is telling her that Will is there or that he isn’t, and so when she insists that the bundle of lights was Will, but doesn’t insist that the alphabet was, too, that sticks out.

I was also intrigued by the fact that Terry could manipulate the lights in her house when El showed up.  Did Brenner try to place powers into grown adults, before giving up and going for children, and then genetically engineering them from birth?  I’m not going to get too into this whole line of thinking right now, because the history of his experiments deserves a whole post of theories on its own, but I wanted to point out the fact that Terry did manipulate the lights and the TV, or at least El was led to believe that was the case, especially because the way those lights behave is very similar to the way the lights in the Byers’ house flutter and flicker when Joyce is first led to Will’s room.  In both cases, the lights are trying to grab their attention.

The fact that the Demogorgon seems to be able to open temporary gates is confounding to me.  Overall, the way the Demogorgon appears throughout the entire first season is very bizarre, and doesn’t seem to be normal Demogorgon behavior.  We don’t really see a lot of the abilities of a Demogorgon throughout the rest of the show, but I feel like it’s safe to say that it’s not normal for them to be able to open gates because otherwise the one trapped in the Russian prison would have tried to escape into the UD already.  The way it appears is either in the blink of an eye with no sound or hole it was climbing out of, or it pushes through the wallpaper or drywall very viscerally.  The way the walls seem to stretch and rip is extremely notable to me; we never see this happen anywhere else.  Plus, how can it open gates?  And why are they temporary?  It leads me to believe that Vecna might be opening the gates for it to go in and out, but because his true power doesn’t lie in opening gates like we’ve been led to believe with El, they simply might not be strong enough to stick around.  It should also be noted that even in the instances that the Demogorgon tears through the walls or ceiling, there is never a scratch left when we return to the same spot later.  The only time a hole is left in the wall is when Joyce hacks through it with the ax.

In season 1, while the Christmas lights fade in and out as Joyce and Hopper pass through them, the street lights outside instead flutter.  The main difference between these two is that the Christmas lights were off, while the street lights were on.  Perhaps this means that when lights are off, they have room to turn on without getting overpowered.  Meaning, if the lights are already on, they don’t have room to “fade on” and thus might flutter instead as the power surges greater than the bulb or socket can handle.

We see something similar to this in season 4 when the Hawkins gang are following Vecna around inside the Creel house.  The lights do glow and fade into being whenever he’s present near one, but they also often have a flickering quality.  This could possibly be attributed to the fact that the power has long been cut off at the RSU Creel house, so rather than manipulating an existing electrical current, he’s forcing power through dead sockets.  It also could possibly be because he’s no longer entirely human, and we have yet to explicitly see the presence of a Demo-monster in the UD make a light glow on when it draws near.  Instead, a Demo-monster only ever makes lights flicker or strobe.  Therefore, the way the lights in the Creel house behave could be because Vecna is part human and part Demo-monster.

Now you might be saying, but Wilbur, the light in the shed in season 1 glowed and bloomed super bright!  That one didn’t flicker!  And to that I say, yes, you’re right!  Where else have we seen that phenomenon?  When El uses her full-strength powers and when Vecna kills his victims.

Theories

As I stated at the start of this post, I don’t have any single theory, or even any multitude of theories, that I’m married to.  I will not be disappointed if any of my ideas do not end up proven correct in the show.  But I will be upset if no explanation is given at all lol.  Some of these theories also won’t be super fleshed out, and ultimately lead to more questions than answers, as many of them are just brief thoughts that would require further research that I haven’t done!  Rather, I want to present them for folks to chew on in their own way.

The question at the core of all of these theories is:  What was really going on with Will, the Demogorgon, and the UD in season 1?

Will has powers and he was manipulating the lights outside of his physical body. I am 100% on board with the “Will has powers” theory, though I don’t believe they’re powers in the way El or Henry or 001 have powers.  If anything, he might be closer to Henry, in that it’s something he was “naturally born with,” while it’s becoming more and more obvious that El’s powers were genetically engineered, either from the drug experiments Terry endured or due to some level of “breeding” using Henry’s genetics. It also could have been something he gained when he entered the UD, rather than having it the whole time in the RSU, which is even something Mike proposes in season 2. While the lights that glow and fade are directly tied to a person’s physical presence, the lights could behave in other ways if being affected by a mental energy input.

Vecna (or some other version of him) was present with Will in the UD. The way many of the lights behave in season 1 can be linked with ways Vecna, Henry, and 001 make the lights behave in season 4.  It can be assumed that 001 also performed that circle-of-bulbs exercise in HNL, and he could have become very skilled at it, and therefore could have made the same thing happen in season 1 with the lights in Will’s room to lure in Holly as another victim for the Demogorgon.

El was present with Will in the UD, perhaps from the future/an alternate timeline. Similar to the Vecna version of this theory, many of the ways the lights behave in season 1 can be connected to other ways they behave in the presence of El in later seasons.  First example that comes to mind is the brightly blooming lightbulb in the shed. This could also be linked to Vecna, but the way it goes so bright without bursting makes me think of all the times El has done the same thing when using her powers.  How was she connected to the Demogorgon, then?  Was the Demogorgon going to kill Will, but El swooped in to save him, thus resulting in the surge of power as she perhaps fought or distracted the Demogorgon long enough for Will to slip away and hide?  We don’t see the lights bloom when Barb gets taken, so there has to be some other factor making that happen, especially also because the Demogorgons and other Demo-monsters are never again connected to bright blooming lights, only flickering and strobing. Also no I’m not going to further explain the alternate timeline thing, you just have to trust me on it if you’re not already aware of that set of theories.

Both El and Vecna were present with Will in the UD in varying ways, and they’re both affecting the lights in different scenes. If I had to pick one theory to go with, it would be this one. We’ve already established that the lights behave in ways similar to Vecna and El’s powers rather than merely from physical manipulation, but the intention behind some of the scenes contradict.  For example, the blinking trail of Christmas lights in the Holly scene results in a threatening outcome, with Holly seemingly being lured into a trap for the Demogorgon.  Meanwhile, the blinking trail in the bundle of white lights scene leads to a non-threatening outcome in which Joyce gets to talk to Will and nothing bad happens immediately after.  Therefore, Vecna could have been the one present in the Holly scene, while El was present in the Joyce scene, leading her to Will’s hiding spot in the UD so that she could receive confirmation that her son is alive and talk with him, giving both her and Will hope of rescue. For all three of these theories, I believe it could be happening to make the timeline go in a specific direction, with Vecna trying to get his desired outcome with Will, while El fights against him in order to rescue her brother instead. The way the Demogorgon pops in and out of temporary gates also makes me think one or both of them are there creating these openings for it.  We even see two different kinds of entrances with the Demogorgon: forcing itself through walls and stretching/breaking them, and intact gates that it and others (like Nancy) crawl through before they’re swallowed back up by the RSU and closed.  Based on the context of the different scenes in which these differences appear, I would attribute the stretching/breaking scenes (multiple times with Joyce; Holly; at the school) to Vecna, as he doesn’t have the direct ability to open gates unless he has a victim to go with it, and I would attribute the intact gates (potentially the scene in the shed; the tree; the leftover gate in the school) to El. Similar to the threatening vs. non-threatening scenes with the lights, we have the same distinction with the gates.  In the “Vecna” scenes, someone’s life is always in danger and the Demogorgon is dropped in as a way to cause more carnage and chaos.  In the “El” scenes, the presence of the gate is a way to create safety.  I can’t explicitly assume that there was a gate in the shed scene, since we never actually see one intact and the only evidence of any UD residue is when Brenner and HNL come to investigate, but the one in the tree could be interpreted that way, as the Demogorgon drags the dead deer into the UD before it can entirely register the presence of Nancy and Jonathan and pose a threat to them.  And even though Nancy endangers herself by crawling through it, it remains open long enough for her to get out but leave the Demogorgon locked inside.  The gate in the school that El exits out of at the start of season 2, while likely the gate that the Demogorgon created when it showed up, somehow managed to stay open, when other instances of the Demogorgon bursting through the wall didn’t leave a scratch, and it allowed El to return to the RSU.

The Demogorgon is actually a person entirely corrupted by the UD. Whether it be Vecna or El (or I’ve seen some sort of vague mentions of it somehow being Brenner), it’s entirely possible that all of these light manipulations are coming from the Demogorgon itself, and it’s somehow much more sentient than the later Demo-monsters that we see.

The Demogorgon is just a Demogorgon, but is being directly ordered by the Mind Flayer and/or Vecna. Similar to above, the Demogorgon could be doing all of these manipulations, but rather than the power coming from the Demogorgon itself, it’s more of a vessel for Vecna or the Mind Flayer, and thus the manipulation is being channeled through the Demogorgon.  Maybe they just happen to use the Demogorgon because it managed to get out of the gate and into the RSU.

Closing Thoughts

We’ve slowly but surely been learning more about how the UD behaves, and how our characters manipulate the world they exist in.  However, as I stated earlier in the post, it mostly leaves me with more questions than answers.  I have plenty of ideas, sure, but this post does not contain the entire plethora of necessary information to formulate an entirely solid theory.  I merely wanted to present the observations I collected of the lights throughout the show, and any other details that have stuck in my mind as tangentially related, and bring them into the conversation of just what happened with Will in season 1, why so much of it is so different from other information we’ve been given about the UD and its creatures, and how it will tie into the ending of the series.

All I’m certain of is that these disparities I’ve noticed – these behaviors that I’m confident were not manipulations by Will’s hands – are not flukes and shouldn’t be ignored.  They’re deliberate and important, and I think they’re a gigantic clue about what was really happening, and can lead to why it was happening.

If it wasn’t all Will, then who was it?  If it wasn’t all physical manipulation, then what was it?  Why was the Mind Flayer/Vecna so hellbent on getting Will in his clutches again in season 2?  Why can he still feel the Mind Flayer in season 3 and Vecna in season 4?  How is he still tied to the UD?  How will time travel or alternate timelines tie into the strangeness of season 1?

Was it all merely because the Duffers didn’t know they’d be getting more than 1 season, so they made artistic choices to keep it coherent as a standalone story?  But then why not show us anything of Will in the UD, other than him in Castle Byers?  Why have the disparities in the way the lights behave?  Why have the intention/context of scenes in which the lights behave similarly contradict each other?

What really happened with Will in season 1?

If you made it all the way to the end of this post, first of all, I thank you.  But second of all, if you want to humor me, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter as well.  Was there anything I missed?  Was there a connection you noticed that I didn’t talk about here?  Are there other scenes you think are equally important even if they don’t directly tie back to moments in season 1?

Thanks for reading!  Go crazy with me!

[genuinerio]

CHAPTER II. The Weirdo On Maple Street.

She’s A Rainbow ↠ 「 STEVE HARRINGTON 」

PAIRINGS: Steve Harrington (eventual love interest), Jonathan Byers x sibling!OC, Joyce Byers x daughter!OC.

WARNINGS: the following mentions of both the usage and talk of drugs.

WORDS: 7, 203.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the gifs used nor original plot lines of Stranger Things however, I do own the storylines of my OC, Nadine. Italics are both Nadine’s thoughts and memories and third chapter for “Oh, Darling,” is in the works, thank you everyone for being patient. Also, I am extremely sorry for such a long wait as I had been very conflicted on a particular storyline of Nadine’s that happens in this chapter but since I could no longer decide on the storyline, I decided to scrap the whole thing and start over. Another thing is when it comes to my writing, I can be quite a perfectionist. Happy Stranger Things Day! Anyways, I hope you enjoy reading!

Monday, November 7th 1983.

WAKING UP TO A THROBBING SENSATION OF AN AWOKEN HEADACHE, Nadine who was stretching out her arms while she remained sitting up in bed, had begun to notice her picture frame; a picture containing of her and her family. It wasn’t Jonathan nor Joyce that she had noticed in particular but of her dear little brother, Will that her face immediately fell into glumness. Getting out of bed, Nadine grabbed a bottle of painkillers and carried on with getting ready for a new day. Looking around her bedroom, she had glanced at her Norman Whiteside poster, who was one of her favorite soccer players that she had received as a gift from her brothers and to whom was quite cute had she added. As she kept glancing away, she noticed her portraits, majority of them having her family as the subject for her artwork, her family being her biggest support whether it was with her art, her soccer team or simply grades. But this particular art piece, irked Nadine because it was one of Will that she had painted of him as he had modeled for her to paint.  

While changing out of her previous clothing and into new clothes, Nadine had kept thinking about her brother and where exactly he had gone. She couldn’t help but feel immense guilt based on the fact that if she hadn’t been busy that night, he wouldn’t had been missing.

This is all your fault, Nadine. Will is missing because of you and everything is all of your fault.

Trying to shake the toxic thoughts in her mind, Nadine had begun to carry on going downstairs only to foresee her mother and Jonathan sitting down to eat breakfast, “All right, Mom. Breakfast is ready.”

“What? No, be careful of the poster.” A distraught Joyce had commented to Jonathan. As Nadine carefully walked into the kitchen, understandingly not wanting to be there, she couldn’t help but feel awful for her mother’s current mental state.

“Yeah, okay. All right.” Jonathan had placed the breakfast plates in front of Joyce, “I can’t eat.” Jonathan had attempted to get his mother to eat, “I just need you to eat, Mom.”

“Listen. Listen, the Xerox place opens in, like, 30 minutes.” Her mother mentioned sniffling as Nadine sat down at the table. “Yeah.”

“And I don’t want you to go alone and I don’t think Nadine will be able to go with you since she has soccer practice.” Joyce had mentioned as Nadine forced herself to remain silent but nodded in acceptance, “No, we know. We told you, we got it.” Jonathan had mentioned as he and Nadine were aware of Joyce’s fear.

“So, I’m gonna have Karen take you, ‘cause I should be here.” Joyce had informed Jonathan as Nadine nodded her head, “Actually, I think I can go, instead. I’ll just explain to my coach that I have something else going on.”

“But Nadine, this game is really important for the team.” Joyce had tried to explain but Nadine cut her off trying to reason with her mother, “Yeah, but finding Will is way more important for us, for me.”

“Okay.”

“We need to make, what, 200, 300 copies? How much is a copy?” Joyce had asked both of her children, “Yeah, okay. Okay, Mom. Mom.”

“Ten cents? If we... ten cents-“ Joyce had begun to stammer as Nadine and Jonathan tried to calm her down, “Mom. Mom. Mom!”

“You can’t get like this okay?” Jonathan had advised as him and Nadine had comforted their mother as she begun to stutter, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“No? It’s okay.” Both Jonathan and Nadine had stated, only for a knock on the door to remove them from the comforting of their mother, “We’ve been waiting six hours.”

“I know. I came as soon as I could.” Nadine immediately recognized that voice once she heard it, Hopper. “Six hours.”

“A little bit of trust here, alright?” Hopper had motioned as he shut the door once Nadine had walked carefully into the living room trying to get information but not being assumed to be eavesdropping. “We’ve been searching all night. Went all the to Cartersville.”

“And?” Her mother had asked, looking at least a little grimmer of hope that Will would be found, “Nothing.” The word that had caused Nadine to drop her head down in a complete distressed state.

“God.”

“Flo says you got a phone call?” Hopper had commented, trying to place Joyce’s mind on newfound faith, “Oh yeah.” Joyce had remembered throughout her sniffles as all four of them walked to the wallphone in the living room.

“Storm barbecued this pretty good.” Hopper had discussed as he held onto the burnt phone, “The storm?” Joyce had asked, believing the cause to be completely different. “What else?”

“You’re saying that, that’s not weird?”

“No, it’s weird.” Hopper had freely admitted, “Can we, like, trace who made the call?” Jonathan had asked as Nadine joined in, “Contact the provider? Or something-“

“No, it doesn’t work like that. Now, uh, you’re sure it was Will? Because Flo said you just heard some breathing.” Hopper had suggested but Joyce stood her ground and insisted as her voice began to break, “No. it was him. It was Will. And he was scared. And then something-“ Nadine and Jonathan both immediately began to comfort their mother.

“It was probably just a prank call. It was somebody trying to scare you.”

“Who would do that?” Jonathan had wondered, “Well, this things been on TV. It brings out all the crazies, you know. False leads, prank calls, uh...”

“No, Hopper, it was not a prank. It was him.” Joyce declared, believing she knew exactly what she heard but unfortunately, Hopper didn’t believe so, “Joyce.”

“Come on, how about a little trust here?” Joyce demanded of Hopper, “What, you think I’m...I’m making this up?”

“I’m not saying that you’re making it up. All I’m saying is it’s an emotional time for you.”

“And you think I don’t know my own son’s breathing? Wouldn’t you know your own daughter’s?” Joyce had declared in a fit of protest, something that had irked something in Hopper as Joyce continued to sniffle.

“You hear from, uh, Lonnie yet?” Hopper had asked in a moment of tension as he began to move into another position of the room, “No.”

“It’s been long enough. I’m having him checked out.” Hopper mentioned as he placed his sheriff’s hat on his head and began to walk outside, “Oh, come on! You’re wasting your time.” Joyce reacted as she sighed.

Nadine had swept her mother into a hug as she began to mumble comforting words and the fact that Will will be found soon as Jonathan followed Hopper outside, “Hey, Hopper. Hopper. Let me go.” Jonathan began panting walking up to Hopper’s police truck.

“I’m sorry?”

“To Lonnie’s. Nadine could overhear Jonathan’s plea as she heard his conversation with Hopper, “You know, if Will’s there, it means he ran away. And if he sees the cops, he’ll think he’s in trouble. He’ll.:. He’ll hide. You know, he’s good at hiding.”

“Yeah? Well cops are good at finding. Okay? Stay here with your mom and Nadine. She needs you, she needs both of you.”

As Jonathan had walked back into the house, Nadine had walked towards him, “Jonathan? Are you going to visit Lonnie?” Something that she immediately knew was true and despite the trauma that Loonie had put her through, she loved her dear brother and was willing to suck it up and find him at all costs.

“Yeah, want to come?” A nod of Nadine giving Jonathan a yes of confirmation because despite the two not being as close, Jonathan still believed that he should include Nadine in any searchings for Will because he is both their little brother and they care deeply for him.

As both Jonathan and Joyce had left for school and work, Nadine had opened the cabinet found within the kitchen only to find multiple bottles of medication. One in particular, her ADHD medication, something Nadine had been diagnosed with since she was a young girl considering her hyperactivity, easily distraction and infamously, her exaggerated emotional responses.

Despite advised not to over do it, Nadine when the girl ran out of various of drugs, like heroin or speed, she would turn towards popping multiple tablets of her ADHD medication as an exception of an excuse for a drug induced high.

Eventually, grabbing her backpack, Nadine had left to attend school; something that she had admitted to being awfully early to this particular morning than most of other times. Arriving to Hawkins high school, she was immediately greeted by her closest friends, Steve whom with being the kind friend he is had often walked her to her first period class considering the fact that he wanted to make sure she was alright.

Sitting throughout her first period class, Nadine couldn’t help but feel so overwhelmed with thoughts about Will and the guilt she placed over herself. This is all your fault, if you had stayed home that night, he wouldn’t have gone anywhere. Trying her best to control her mind to think about a different topic, she just couldn’t. The girl couldn’t help the heartbreak within herself as she processed the theories on where she and Jonathan could find, where they could possibly find him.

The ringing of the school bell had echoed throughout her brain had awoken her back to reality. “Nadine, I need to talk to you.” Gulping her breath at Mr. Carter’s words, Nadine slowly walked up to his desk, the girl hoped that it wasn’t anything nerve wracking because she was already going through so much as it was already.

“Nadine, you’re failing my class and I need you to begin to put the effort into your work.”

“I’m sorry Mr. Carter. I’ve just had been going through a lot, with my family and my brother’s disappearance with soccer practice...I-.” Trying to explain her reasoning of failing his class, Nadine was cut off.

“Nadine, now, I understand. Tell you what, I’ll give you an exception but please, catch up. Alright?”

His words had comforted her and she deeply needed this opportunity because she couldn’t let her family down. Her family was already going through so much and she didn’t want to put more stress on them than there already was.

“I have soccer practice after school and then after that, work but I guess, I could tell my coach that I need to take the time to study. I’m sure he’ll understand.” She was indeed correct, Particularly, Nadine’s coach was an understanding man and someone who Nadine had valued as a father figure besides Hopper of course, considering they were more like her father than Loonie ever was.

Attempting to wash her worries away, Nadine had started to play with her fingers as she walked into the school’s hallway. Walking towards her friendship circle but in a slower manner to collect her thoughts, she could overhear Steve mention to Nancy, “My dad has left town on a conference and my mom’s gone with him, ‘cause you know, she doesn’t trust him.”

“Good call.”

“So are you in?” Steve had asked to a confused Nancy, “In for what?”

“No parents? Big house.” Carol informed to Nancy, “A party?” A gullible Nancy questioned which had caused Nadine to want to stop and facepalm right in the middle of the school hallway.

“Ding! ding, ding!” Carol teasingly mocked as Tommy chuckled at the joke.

“It’s Tuesday.”

With Steve trying to convince Nancy to attend his house party despite her unawareness that they don’t care that it’s a weekday to throw a party. “It’s Tuesday! Oh my god.” She could hear Tommy mocking Nancy’s remark.

“Come on. It’ll be low key. It’ll just be us. What do you say? Are you in or are you out?” It was clear that Nancy would need to think about this situation a bit more.

Finding her friends including Nancy and Barb in the hallway, Nadine had quickly been alerted of a house party that Steve would host whenever his parents were out of town which was a lot. “Dean, Steve is throwing a party tonight since his parents aren’t home, you coming?” Carol had mentioned, calling Nadine out by her nickname that her closest loved ones would call her.

“Definitely!” Nadine was known to be quite the socialist, quite opposite to her twin brother who was a very introverted boy. Most people were surprised to find out that they were twins nor even related because their differences overpowered their similarities the two had shared. “But wait. I just realised I can’t!”

“What? Why not?” Both Steve and Carol questioned in unison, “I have ‘work shift’ tonight and I can’t call it off because my family and I really need the money. Even if my boss is a a fucking asshole.” Nadine applying air quotes to the words of the work shift because it wasn’t always a work shift but rather, her own personal hell but she couldn’t pass this up either unfortunately.

“Nadine. Your boss is full of shit, why do that to yourself? I’m sure that it won’t matter if you miss one shift. Besides, your boss is not really giving you a work shift but rather, his only way to take advantage because he likes to take advantage.” Tommy advised, which caused Nadine to roll her eyes. She was no doubt aware of this but she didn’t want to put anymore stress on her family than there already was already.

“Wow! Thanks Tommy, for such comforting words. Besides I know that, if my family finds out though, then I’m so screwed. My family is going through enough as it is.” Nadine’s sarcastic comment failed to give her a grimmer of comfort like it always had this time at least.

“I think I can attend afterwards but can we please talk about something else, please?” With those words, her wish was granted as Carol looked beyond her, “Oh, God. Look.”

A phrase that caused Nadine and her friends to turn around only to see that her friends were now placing all their attention into watching Jonathan as he plastered the “find Will” posters that him and Nadine had spent the previous night creating.

“Oh god. That’s depressing.” Nadine pressed her tongue to her cheek in a fit of anger. Despite her friend’s treatment to Jonathan, Nadine had vowed to never treat her brother in the way her friends do because despite them being at complete odds and regardless, he is still in fact her brother and that’s something that will never change whatsoever.

“Should we say something?” Nancy asks while giving a quick glance at Nadine, “I don’t think he speaks.” Shaking her head at the annoyance, Nadine mentioned to Carol, “Fuck off.”

“How much you want to bet he killed him?” Tommy’s words is what immediately enraged Nadine as she clenched her jaw but tries to remain silent in a calming manner but that does not stop her from speaking in a furious state, “Shut up!” Steve motioned.

“Fuck you Tommy, I will beat the shit out of you if another word comes out of your mouth like that again!” Her words causing Tommy to raise his hands up.

A tensed up and protective Nadine had mentioned, something that her friends may have not gotten an answer to but Nancy was surely aware of that statement considering she was aware of the girl being a Byers child as Tommy raised his hand in a supposed defenceless manner.

Despite her strained relationship with her twin brother, Nadine no doubt still cared deeply for her family and still defended them too particularly Jonathan whom her friends would pick on.

Holding her binders in her arms, Nadine had decided to ditch her friends in order to help her brother in posting find me posters onto every place and every wall they can find only to notice that Nancy was following closely behind her.

Standing close by to Jonathan, she took some posters of Will and assisted him in plastering them as she heard Nancy, “Hey.”

“Oh, hey.”

As Nadine could overhear Nancy trying to make conversation with Jonathan, she couldn’t help but think that despite her dislike of Nancy, this would make Jonathan’s day especially since he’s harbored a crush on her since childhood, “I just…I wanted to say, you know, um…I’m sorry about everything.” As Jonathan and Nancy glanced back at Steve, Carol, Tommy and Barb.

“Everyone’s thinking about you. You too, Nadine.” As much as Nancy tried to make nice with her words, Nadine despised pity and constant sympathy and would rather just ignore it altogether despite people deeming her as heartless and not caring about anyone but herself.

“It sucks.”

“Yeah.” Jonathan sadly said as him and Nancy stared at one another.

“I’m sure he’s fine. He’s a smart kid. She could overhear Nancy reassure Jonathan alongside herself but the conversation between the two was interrupted by the school bell ringing.

“I have to go. Chemistry test.” Nancy had chuckled in explanation.

“Yeah.”

“Good luck.” The girl had hoped for them both.

“Thanks.”

“Hey, Nadine!” Overhearing and recognizing the voice of one of her teammates on the school’s soccer team, Marlee which caused the blonde to turn her head.

“Hey, Marlee! What’s up?” Marlee was a teammate and classmate that Nadine was close with and among the nicest of their team, some were also nice but not as much as Marlee.

“We’re going to meet at the gym, this time at 3:30. Don’t be late because coach Johnson will be scolding.” Her teammate had teased but Nadine had just remembered, “Shit! I can’t! I have something to do today plus work.”

“But, what about our big game? You’re one of our best players and among coaches favorites plus practice means a lot to the team.” Marlee had tried to get Nadine to reconsider to no avail.

“I know, but, what I have to do is more important. I tried to telling him but could you because I couldn’t find him?”

“Yeah, sure.” Marlee nodded as the two shared a hug in reassuring, “Thanks! You’re the best.”

Glancing at Marlee and Nancy walking away, she noticed Steve was waiting for her, “Come on, Nadine!”

“I can’t, I got to go.” She could tell Steve didn’t quite understand what she meant, “Don’t worry. I’ll see you later!”

As she turned back to Jonathan and overhearing over the intercom, “At 8:00 pm. tonight, there will be an assembly on the football field. In support of Will Byers and his family. All are encouraged to attend. Volunteer sign-ups for search parties are still available in the office.”

Hearing that caused Nadine to subtly shake her head, as much as she loved her brother, she hated the once again feeling over people constantly comforting her. Her and Jonathan left the school and went on their way to their estranged father, Lonnie’s household.

Silence within sitting in the car with Jonathan on their destination to Lonnie’s as she fiddled with the radio felt uncomfortable to Nadine, the eldest Byers children didn’t have much in common like they used to nor discussed greatly either, the two were simply on completely different pages and paths now. Despite how badly, Jonathan wanted to deny, he felt Nadine was now, one of those jerks that consisted of Steve and their shared friends.

Looking up and glancing at one another before staring down as the song, “Should I Stay or Should I Go,” began to play on the car’s stereo. The song from The Clash had embarked a shared sweet memory between the two and their little brother. A bittersweet feeling of reminiscing about said memory brought a smile to Nadine’s lips.

She remembered, walking inside her home after a long tiresome shift and on her way to her bedroom, Nadine felt she was over it. Since, her room was after Will’s he noticed her heading towards it but called out as he was listening to a song with Jonathan. “Nadine, over here.”

The lyrics from the song echoing throughout the hallway, “Should I Stay or Should I Go.”

Will had called out as him and Jonathan were listening to “Should I Stay or Should I Go.” And he wanted his sister to join them. “What’s up?”

“Listen to the song with us.” As much as she was exhausted from her shift, she still enjoyed hanging out with her family, especially Will as they were all very close family. In doing this, she joined.

Walking into and sitting in his room, she noticed Will and Jonathan bobbing their heads, a clear sign of them enjoying the song. Jonathan questioned, “You like it?”

“Yeah, it’s cool.” Will had confirmed, “What do you think, Dean?”

“It’s one of my favorites. Definitely.”

Responding back to their brother, “All right, you can keep the mix if you want.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. All the best stuff’s on there. Joy Division, Bowie, Television, The Smiths. It’ll totally change your life.”

“Totally.”

Nadine had agreed as she pointed out, “Bowie and Joy Division are the best though. You’ll enjoy them in particular among the others too.”

In an uncomfortable position, they could overhear their mother faintly, “Where the hell are you, Lonnie?”

Joyce muttered indistinctly, “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear it.”

Noticing her brother’s sad expression, she sat on his bed and attempted to comfort him, “Don’t be sad.” She had motioned for Jonathan to shut the door, “This is ridiculous! I’m so sick of your excuses.”

The music continued to play but as they stayed inside, Jonathan lowered the volume. “He’s not coming, is he?” Will’s questioning of them both caused Nadine and Jonathan to share a glance, “Um, let’s not talk about that.”

“Do you even like baseball?”

Will had denied, “No, but… I don’t know. It’s fun to go with him sometimes.”

Nadine had asked, “Come on. Has he ever done anything with you that you actually like?” Jonathan had added on, “Yeah, you know, like the arcade or something?”

Will tried to recall, “I don’t know.”

Nadine had insisted, “No, all right? He hasn’t. He’s trying to force you to like normal things.” In stating this, Jonathan had added on advising, “And you shouldn’t like things because people tell you you’re supposed to. Okay?” A nod in agreement had pointed towards Nadine’s similar thought, “Especially not him.”

“And Will, there’s nothing wrong with liking the games at the arcade or playing Dungeons and Dragons.” Nadine had encouraged, “And hey. I’ll play it with you once I get home. I may not be as good as you or Mike, Lucas and Dustin though.” She could tell Will had appreciated her offer and could see him taking up the possible offer at some point.

Turning the conversation, Nadine had asked, “But you like The Clash? For real.”

“For real. Definitely.” Will’s confirmation had made Nadine smile, another thing that they’d all enjoy together as siblings. Raising the volume of the stereo, they all started listening and enjoying the music once again.

Removing themselves from the memory was the time, they finally arrived at Lonnie’s neighborhood. “You see his house anywhere?” Breaking the silence, Jonathan had asked as they glanced out of the car window in search of his home, “Not yet.”

Stopping on the side of the road, they made it to their father’s home. Nadine couldn’t help but feel a tad overwhelmed, she no longer had a somewhat good relationship with Lonnie anymore and was a bit nervous to see him, This is it. She had thought. With the two walking up to his front door, Jonathan had peeked into the front room as they could overhear music playing, echoing through the house. Sharing a gaze, Nadine had knocked.

They could hear footsteps walking towards them and a voice, “Yeah?” Opening the front door, the woman noticed the two, “Can I help you?”

“Uh, yeah. Is Lonnie around?” Nadine replied first, “Yeah, he’s out back. What do you guys want?”

“To look around.” Not caring about approval and just wanting to look for their little brother, the two stormed inside, “Hey, what do you guys think you’re doing? Hey!”

“We’ll be fast.”

“You take this side, I’ll take this one.” Nadine told Jonathan as they searched calling out, “Hey, Will? Will!”

“Will, you here? Will!” Banging on the door and searching every room in the hallway, Nadine was surprised when hearing a grunt. Jonathan was held against the wall with Lonnie near by. “Get off!”

“Damn, you’ve gotten stronger.” In a realization, Lonnie had observed not only that Jonathan wasn’t as easy to push around but also, that his little girl, Nadine was there. With perceiving him coming towards her, Nadine denied, “Don’t touch me.”

Wanting answers between all three, the woman asked, “Will someone please explain what the hell is going on?”

Lonnie had announced in introducing, “Jonathan, Nadine, Cynthia. Cynthia, this is Jonathan and Nadine. My two oldest.”

“Come here.” Her father tried in an attempt with a hug but she nor Jonathan were having it, “Get off us, man.”

Wondering around Lonnie’s new home, she took a look at all these he had in the living, the stereo, the photographs and the alcohol. Besides a huge amount of usuals within drugs, there were many times that Nadine also had drank alcohol especially with her friends, seeing most times as an alternative substitute when she ran out of drugs.

“Jonathan, Nadine, let me show you something.” Lonnie called out, the two were both a bit unsure with following him but did so, nonetheless. He showed them his new car, “Take a look at this beaut. Should’ve seen it when I got it. Took me a year, but it’s almost done.”

Once Lonnie caught a glimpse at Jonathan opening his trunk, he asked, “Really? Want to look up my ass, too?” Rolling her eyes, Nadine understood Jonathan’s reasoning to do so, “There’s no harm in looking, is there?”

“I told you both, the same thing as I told those cops, he’s not here and he never has been.”

“Then why didn’t you call Mom back?”

“I don’t know, I just… I assumed she just forgot where he was. You know, he was lost or something.” Scoffing as his excuse, “Bullshit! Mom would never forget where any of us where.”

Ignoring his daughter’s response, Lonnie told, “That boy never was very good at taking care of himself.”

“This isn’t some joke, alright?” Jonathan pointed out, “Yeah, I mean, there are search parties, reporters.”

“Hopper’s not still chief, is he?”

“Tell your mother, she’s gotta get you both out of that hellhole. Come out here to the city. People are more real here, you know? And then, I could see you both more.”

Neither of them believed any of Lonnie’s words, he didn’t give two shits about either, “What, you think I don’t want to see either of you?”

“We know you don’t.”

“See, that’s your mother talking right there. Does she even know both of you are here?” Their silence confirmed his suspicions, “Oh great. So one kid goes missing, the other two run wild? I believe that about Nadine, but not you, Jonathan. But that’s some real fine parenting right there.”

“You know what, fuck you! Since when do you suddenly care about us and about being a fine parent, anyway?” Nadine suggested as she mockingly chuckled to which Lonnie heard, “Look, all, I’m saying is, maybe I’m not the asshole, all right?”

“Here! In case you forgot what he looks like.” Nadine shoved a have you seen me poster of Will to Lonnie’s chest, “Let’s go, Dean.”

On the car ride back to Hawkins, Nadine numerous thoughts throughout it all. The blonde haired with hazel eyes girl had felt like her past and mistakes overall were coming back to haunt her. She hadn’t mentioned this to anyone but the past few days that Will had been missing, she had been dreaming of him.

“Nadine, Nadine!” The Byers girl felt a shake which snapped her out of her head’s mind. A confused glance on her face proved to Jonathan how engrossed she was in her thoughts, her own little world, “Huh?”

“We’re here.” She fluttered her eyes while raising her head as Jonathan pointed to the building of her workplace. Letting out a groan, remembering that her shift starts in just minutes from now.

Huffing in annoyance when the thought of her boss came up as she stared at the sign that read, Bradley’s Big Buy which was a supermarket in the small town of Hawkins. As much as she appreciated the money that she received from this particular job since it not only would help her mother and the rest of her family but support her addiction and supply her with drugs. However, she hated her coworkers, specifically the male ones since they were so grossly disgusting.

“Let me know if you need a ride home.”

Nodding at Jonathan’s words, she took her bag, turned around and walked inside as Jonathan drove off. The coworkers had acknowledged her presence, “Hey Nadine.” But the girl paid no mind as she wanted to finish her work shift and make it to Steve’s party in time. After working for an hour with stocking items, a coworker to which Nadine remembered his name was Thomas was standing in front of her holding a broom.

“Here.” Handing her the broom as she stopped, “You sweep the floor. This is a women’s job, anyway.” The tone in his voice let alone his sexist words left such a sour taste in Nadine’s mouth that resulted in a clear disgusted reaction, “You can do something else to clear your time. With me, doll.”

“I’ll pass.” Feeling defeated, Nadine accepted her fate. She didn’t even want to work today but she knew it was the best thing, her family needed the money let alone the fact that they were going through such a devastating time and it distracted her from the disappearance of Will.

Eventually with noticing the clock ticking and getting closer to the time of Steve’s party as well as the sun going down, she realized that her shift was coming to a close. Nadine headed to the back room as she prepared to grab her things before realizing that Thomas’s backpack was open as well as the fact that his wallet was there in an open area for anyone to take.

Well, just do it! Payback for what he did.

In his wallet was a two hundred dollars, she knew that it would help get her another supply of drugs. In no more hesitation, Nadine took the money and put it immediately in her bag as she turned around, said her goodbyes for the day and walked outside.

Outside was a pay phone near by to the store and with remembering Jonathan’s words, she called to no unfortunate avail with a huff, Nadine thought of another person to call. Steve.

Dialling the numbers and tapping her foot on the concrete, she hoped that he would answer and after a few rings, he did. Thank god.

“Hello?” An uncertain tone in his voice as he was unsure who was calling, “Hey, Steve.”

“Oh hey, Dean. What’s up?” Steve felt more comfortable in his response considering he knew who he was exactly talking to now. “Nothing much. Um, I was wondering, could you give me a ride?”

“Yeah, sure. Where are you?” The boy agreed with no second thought.

“I’m outside of Bradley’s Big Buy.”

“Alright, I’ll be there in a few minutes.” He assured, “Sorry, my brother and I carpooled today and he has the car.” Nadine began, “He’s not answering and I don’t know where he is.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Steve was a very understanding and sweet friend when it came to Nadine as he would help her with whichever problem she had and would consistently come to her defense, everyone would typically tease him with nicknaming her as her knight in shining armour.

The two were always believed to be more than what they actually were and for the first time that year, the people might’ve actually been correct as Steve and Nadine had shared a kiss which ultimately led to questions, assumptions and eventually denial.

In realizing that their accidental romantic interaction was a pure mistake, Nadine had decided to ignore it and pretend it never happened which perhaps hurt Steve more than he led on considering their unexplained feelings for each other. He had chose that the best choice for himself was to move on which he had by engaging in a relationship with goody two shoes, Nancy Wheeler.

To say that Nadine wasn’t as equally disappointed with Steve’s decision would be a lie but the girl was able to hide her feelings more easily and in pretending that she wasn’t badly affected by his choice. She was hesitant of Nancy but still remained a supportive friend.

Nadine decided to make a quick stop to the local store nearby in order to distract herself as she waited for Steve. Strolling along through the lonely aisles, she grabbed herself a pack of cigarettes and a beer while also making a short conversation. Because, she was known to be a frequent customer and the guy who owned the store liked her, he had no issues with her purchasing substances despite the high chance risk it could cause.

By the time that she was done, Nadine had noticed Steve’s car in the street. Immediately thanking him for giving her a ride as they headed towards his to hangout along with their mutual friends, “Thanks, Steve. I owe you. I just.”

Nadine had tried to explain her train of thoughts but it felt too hard to explain, “My brother said he’d give me a ride once I called but nobody’s answering back home.”

“Don’t worry about it. Hey, how come I’ve never met your brother before?”

Trust me, Steve. You’ve met him, alright!

Her eyes had widen, the girl felt so trapped. What was she going to say? Yeah, it’s Jonathan, the guy you and Tommy constantly tease.

“Oh, um.” Nadine hoped that she could find a way out of this conversation and to come up with an excuse but eventually deciding upon a half truth. “We’re not that very close.” To be fair, it wasn’t a lie considering her and Jonathan were no longer that close like everyone refuses to accept especially their mother.

Before Steve could answer any more questions, Nadine was thankful to point out that they finally arrived at Steve’s home in which Nadine ran outside to greet her other friends. In the backyard, she could overhear rock music playing.

Grabbing a beer, she headed outside to Steve’s backyard to catch up with her friends despite it only being a few hours since school, “Hey, Nadine!”

In trying to rid herself of the guilt and shame that she felt towards herself because Nadine couldn’t help in blaming Will’s disappearance upon herself. She truly felt like if she had been there that night, nothing would have happened.

The sound of Carol shrieking as Tommy carried her above the pool, teasing her as if he was going to drop her in while he counted, “One! Two!” Had removed her from her thoughts, “Dean! I need some help here! Should I drop her in?”

Tommy had asked Nadine before he continued on to which she playfully smirked, jokingly saying, “Why not?”

“Nadine!”

“Three!” With a chuckle, Tommy carried on as Carol warned, “Stop it, Tommy, no! Don’t!”

Tommy laughed, “You’re such an asshole, Tommy.” Carol had mentioned as she pushed him. “And you.” Carol pointed towards Nadine, “You shouldn’t have told him!”

Nadine had raised her hands in an apologetic manner despite her and Tommy sharing a laugh in unison over the manner.

Seeing Steve opening a can of beer, she alluded to him, “I’m going to need more than one, Steve. I had the worst shift.”

“Yeah, coming up.” Steve went back inside, bringing more cans of beer out.

“Your boss giving you problems?” Carol had asked, initiating an all too familiar topic, “When is he not?”

“Why don’t you just quit?”

“I can’t.” Nadine struggled to find the words, “Even if I wanted to, it’s just not a good time. My family is going through a lot right now.” A statement to which only Nancy was well aware in what she meant.

Thankfully, Steve had brought Nadine her beer by this point. She watched him as he quickly drank his beer to the neck in which she noticed seemed to make Barb uncomfortable. Nancy, however was impressed.

“Harrington, let’s make a challenge.” Something that surely got Carol and Tommy all riled up, “Uh, I don’t know.”

Steve was uncertain, Nadine teased him, “Why? Pussy?” The girl’s words an attempt to get him interested as Steve shrugged, not caring about her words. Nadine was someone who could at times be very competitive when she wanted to be and this was her moment.

Nancy nor Barb didn’t notice the flirtatious behavior between the two but Tommy and Carol, whom were both good friends with the pair definitely did.

“Fine.” Guilted into the peer pressure of his friends, Tommy and Carol tracked them once the two each got a can of beer. “And I win!”

Steve exhaled as he came into second place, Nadine laughed as she sat down on the chair next to Steve’s, “Is that supposed to impress me?” Nancy had asked Steve as he sat down with his cigarette in his lips, “You’re not?”

“You are a cliché, you do realize that?” Nancy had remarked in a response. “You are a cliché.” Noting as Steve continued while lighting his cigarette, “What with your grades, and your band practice.”

With a laugh, “I’m so not in band.”

“Okay, party girl. Why don’t you just, uh, show us how it’s done, then?” Once Steve placed his lighter down, Nadine grabbed it to light her own cigarette as she mumbled, this is exactly what I needed to herself.

Steve handed the knife to Nancy as she agreed to prove upon him, “Okay.” Standing up, he had preceded to give her directions, “You gotta make a little hole right in.” Not giving him a chance to finish his sentence, Nancy cut him off, “I got it.”

“Yeah, she’s smart, you douche!” Tommy, who was cuddling Carol had said in defending Nancy as she cut a hole, Nadine was surprised that Nancy was at this party, let alone chugging a beer despite her relationship with Steve as she was always someone who was a “good girl.”

“Chug, chug, chug.” They all chanted, the friends all laughing and whooping in unison as Nancy threw the beer she just finished. Nancy just barely noticing her deserted friend had asked her, “Barb, you wanna try?”

“What? No.” The wary redhead denied, instantly. Nadine understood since she always saw Barb as very introverted, “No, I don’t want to. Thanks.”

“Come on.” Trying her best to convince her friend, Steve joined in, “Yeah. Come on. Yeah.”

“Nance, I don’t want to.”

“It’s fun! Just give it a.” Barbara cut her off, “Nance.” But despite how many times she’d deny, Nancy still tried, “Just… Just give it a shot.” Giving her a beer can, “Okay.”

Barb stood up, holding the knife and preparing to cut a hole, “So, you just…” Tommy had chuckled, “Gnarly.” In which Nadine mumbled, “Shut up.”

“Are you okay?” Nancy questioned as Barb had accidentally cut herself with the knife, “Do you need us to bandage that up?”

“Yeah.” Barb excused the cut, in what Nadine believed was a way to make it seem as not bad of an issue, “Barb, you’re bleeding.”

“I’m fine. Where’s your bathroom?”

“Oh, it’s… it’s uh, down past the kitchen, to the left.”

Steve showing Barbara inside on where to go, “Okay, thanks.”

Nadine brought her cigarette to her lips as her friends chuckled, as if this wasn’t a big deal, “Oh.”

The smoke from her cigarette exhaling throughout her mouth, she recalled, “This is the good life.” The girl was at a high chance of being intoxicated but she didn’t want anyone knowing that.

Carol and Tommy chuckled at her words before Tommy randomly pushed Carol who was standing by the pool nearby in as she screamed.

“Oh my god! What the hell, Tommy?”

Nancy and Nadine both couldn’t help themselves in laughing as Carol continued to yell, “No!” Once Tommy jumped in.

Nancy shrieked as Steve pushed her in, “Whoo!”

“Dean, you’re next!” Nadine pleaded with Steve as she tried to convince him otherwise as he tried to trick her into thinking he wouldn’t but yet he did push her in, “Steve!”

Jumping in himself, Tommy laughed. Nadine laughed as Steve came near, pretending to give him a piggyback ride while in the pool.

Eventually, after some time in the pool, they all decided to leave the pool and head inside as Steve handed Nadine a towel as she shudders, “I’m freezing.” Carol noted, “Me too.”

“Hmm… well, I hear his mom’s room has a fireplace.” Tommy remembered as he walked upstairs, “Are you kidding?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Okay, well, you know, you are cleaning the sheets.” Steve had advised the two. “You both all right?”

“Yeah.” Her and Nancy said in unison. “Steve, you mind if I take a shower?”

Steve shook his head no to inform Nadine that he had no issues, “Come on, let’s get you some dry clothes. You can borrow some too, Dean.”

Mumbling a thanks, Nadine headed upstairs but despite no longer being around them, she could still overhear the conversation between Nancy and Barb. “Nance.”

“Barb. I’m fine.”

The words that struck her is when Barb told Nancy, “This isn’t you.” Those words were burned into her mind, she could remember the time when Jonathan said those words to her. He always believed that Steve was the time she became someone new, someone he didn’t recognize especially considering they were so close as children.

She let the water run over herself, Nadine had various things running through her mind, Will being the main one. The girl hoped this party would distract her from her troubles but she isn’t so sure and as of now as she stares in the mirror, she’s unsure if she recognizes the person that she is.

Changing into Steve’s hoodie and sweatpants, Nadine decides to leave earlier than usually. Not wanting to cause a scene or interrupt, Nadine heads out back to which she comes across Barb. A mysterious noise that sounded like the mixture of a growl and shriek echoes throughout the backyard to which Nadine wonders, “Where’s Barb?”

Maybe, she just went home.

[tubbypeddle]

It's me! Thanks again for accepting my request, this is really nice.

Personality traits: people told me I’m creative, curious, argumentative because I can be persuasive and always want to have reason. I also tend to do the opposite of what I’m told, speak my mind whoever is facing me (can be a friend, family member, authority person, etc.). I can be blunt with absolutely no filter, which means I can be very familiar with people I’ve just met. I’m very good at understanding the big picture or a concept and explaining it with better words than a professional. I’m this person who finishes the sentence before the speaker. I love joking around, laughing out loud and having fun everywhere with friends, even in the most inappropriate moments. I can't help but talk loudly or laugh in church, for example. I’m independent and don’t like clingy people. One of my favorite things on earth is to tease people and make them completely mad just for fun and test their limits. I ask questions I know are tricky just to see how the person reacts. The pleasure of throwing a stone into the pond. Finally, some loved-ones said I struggle to empathize with others, or even act like a regular human.

Likes: the sun, spring and summer. Gardening. Cooking. Cats. I love dogs, mostly the big ones. I like learning new things, having a lot of knowledge. I enjoy eating, it is my reason to live. Traveling as well! Having fun, reliable and imaginative people. I love absurd humor. Old cars, old rock and old movies. To meet new, smart and interesting people who know things I don’t and can teach me.

Dislikes: slow people and those who arrive late. The rain. Too loud noises. When things don’t work as they should. Disorganisation and inefficient people. My anger issues. Dirty or messy places. People who don’t know what they are talking about but talk anyway. Vulgar and uneducated people. Coward, too naive, timid and weak people. Being interrupted.

Hobbies: writing, cinema, gardening, hiking, traveling, eating, laughing, discovering.

Miscellaneous: excellent memory (names, dates, details, sensations). Good intuition that allows me to understand things and keep the conversation going whatever the subject. Practical over the aesthetic. French grammar and spelling mistakes trigger me. 

Appearance: east asian, short black hair with a two block haircut. I wear shorts or cargo pants with t-shirts (often black, gray or white) and white sneakers. The simpler the better.

Hi hi!! sorry for the wait, things are a little busy here.

(author's notes: credits to gif owners, of course <33 this was so fun! my first genshin matchup!! )

I've thought long and hard over who would be perfect for you! And miss matchmaker is here!

Fontaine is a beautiful place in the summer. Perfectly breezy, and perfectly sunny. Everyone's a busybody, so social and they love to meet new people! Perfect for your pretty extroverted interests!

And, why, who else do you run into here, none other than

Ajax "Tartaglia" "Childe" himself!

You know what draws him in about you first?

Your argumentative personality. He loves a good fight, and that includes witty arguments. Ajax also appreciates, and even adores, your unashamed loudness.

He loves a partner who is unafraid to be anything but themselves. If there is anything he hates, it is people who are weak. And to so openly be yourself, without fear of judgement, it's such a turn on for him.

AND!! being by his side requires a lot of traveling! Which is a plus for you! His job requires him to be able to travel to any nation, but while he's working, he encourages you to go out and explore! Go shopping if you want! He'll pay, of course. He wants you to have fun, not to worry. He doesn't need you worrying about your bank account when he has more than enough money to spend on both you and himself.

Besides, his love language is gift giving.

He absolutely adores your teasing. He meets your teasing easily with some of his own. It's fun, and it makes him laugh. The banter flows easily between you two, honestly. It's almost sickening how easy you two argue with each other.

Like an old married couple, Zhongli says.

Out of everyone who'd understand your problem of empathizing with other people, it'd be Ajax.

After falling into the Abyss as a child, he's had issues with feeling anything. It was the whole reason he'd been forced to join the Fatui in the first place, to have a place to take out his unusual aggression. Honestly, it was a miracle that he ended up falling for you in the first place.

He doesn't...remember quite how to properly love someone. He knows the concepts, and he knows how to go through the motions. But you're the first person outside of his family that he's had any feelings for.

He doesn't want to...mess it up. And lose you.

That being said, there's never a dull moment with him. He loves making you laugh. He thinks you sound beautiful when you do.

His favorite activity to do with you is tease other people. He's pretty much immune to your teasing, because he meets you head to head with his own little jabs. So teasing other people is the way to go with you two.

You two little pranksters, you.

Your great memory also might be very useful. It's not that Ajax is forgetful, but he's usually in a rush. So he may accidentally forget to grab some things on his way out the door. It helps if you're there to toss it to him as he's getting ready to leave.

He's a big, big family guy, too, so if you don't want kids, it might not work out for you two. Despite how Ajax seems, he only dates to marry and settle down in the future. He loves his family, and he wants to make one of his own like that someday. When it's safer.

At the minimum, he wants five kids. Five!

He wants to be a father, and he wants to be your husband. He knew this on your first date with him. It's only a matter of if you'll let him.

And he'll introduce you to his own family eventually, when you're comfortable with it. His younger siblings would absolutely adore you, because you remind them so much of Ajax. His older siblings would find it so amusing how alike the two of you are.

His parents absolutely love you, too. His mother absolutely tries fattening you up, trying to put you in warm clothes, because Snezhnaya is cold, don't you know? His father sees a strength in you that he sees in his son. A quiet kind of strength, hidden under layers of bluntness and jokes.

And! You and mama Ajax love cooking! Mamushka Ajax teaches you Snezhnayan dishes, and she loves to learn about your favorite dishes to make! You two trade recipes often, and sometimes Ajax whines that you like his mother more than you like him.

Like I said before, there's really never a dull moment between you two. Ajax leads a busy life, and it seems like you like to, as well. Quiet is few and rare between you two.

But when there is, it's usually because both of you are sleepy or exhausted.

Honorary mentions! Cyno He loves telling jokes, since everyone seems to be so afraid of him. And he loves that you love to laugh. He's also very neat, if he does say so himself. But his schedule...he feels he may neglect you with how often he has to work. He does not want you to go through with a neglectful partner.

WAAAA this was so fun!! again, sorry for the wait ☹ fourth of July preps and all that y'know? and I have....a huge family.

i hope you enjoyed!

[bsaka7]

Pierresteban... mermaid.... au...not!fic. W/ @leclercenjoyer... From these gifs... proof i can be trope-y...in the right mood...

it starts when they're kids. pierre is the fifth son of a family of hardworking fisherman. he knows there will be no inheritance for him. his third brother is joining the church and everyone is hoping pierre can do well enough at school to do that too! because the oldest son will inherit the fishing boat and he already has a girl who he might marry. they live in a little house near the outskirts of town the closest to the sea and when the sea rages they can watch the wall of water crash against the rocks from the back stoop.

of course. this pierre loves the water like everyone in his family, loves to be out at sea. when the tide is out, pierre goes down to the seashore and digs through the tide pools. one day he comes upon a cove that he swears he has never seen before and he has explored this whole shore even though he is only seven. the sun is not yet low in the sky so he ducks in to explore and there splashing in the pool is....baby (well. 6yrs old) este!! who is so scrawny.

este is a mermaid obv there some vague and bastardized mythology behind all of this but we're ignoring that for now. he's the only child of a hardworking mermaid couple etc he loves to dive and race and swim with schools of fish he's also intrigued by land and he's more adventurous than he should be... u guys know the vibe.

pierre spends the whole rest of the spring ducking into the cove and the days are only getting longer. and then summer when hes on the boat with his father and brothers he's always searching and searching for este, thinking he sees him out over the crests of the waves. they are the best of friends and pierre cannot tell anyone except for his best friend charles who lives on the other side of town and his father is...idk?? the pastor??? they aren't catholics he can have kids. and charles understands pierre at school and they compete in every subject but he doesn't understand the sea. anyway. Pierre and esteban can only meet when pierre comes to the sea...seperate worlds so close yet so far. when times are hard times are hard for them both bc they both depend on the sea for their life etc...

[scene where pierre sneaks out in the little rowboat to meet este and gets in trouble]

they grow up and then they DRIFT as you would expect because pierre is getting older and he has to get a scholarship now to the university or else he has to find a girl to marry or smth but he doesnt WANT to because hes too young and anywhere theres always esteban. and esteban is busy with his own life in the sea he's growing up and hoping to fulfill some exploration role but he's a long shot at it... They're starting to resent each other for missing meetings.

pierre goes inland for GOOD to go to school when hes like sixteen and he sees esteban one winter day home for christmas break and the sea is churning and esteban barely even looks at him. and it sucks!!! and no one knows how even felt...

but he comes back for the whole summer when hes older and his parents have passed away. he's back to help his brother put their things in order and because he's the baby and he loved them. and he spends a lot of time looking out at the sea and maybe once has to take the boat out by himself and there's esteban, skipping alongside the boat, who looks like he's finally grown into his skin.

Pierre anchors and climbs out of his boat into the shallow warm water and pierre can swim but not strongly anymore and he's weak from the city air. pierre can feel este's tail against his legs and they're clutching each other and esteban is laughing and its -- its like they're kids again but its BETTER because they know who they are better. esteban is the one to kiss pierre and pierre kisses BACK and then eventually he has to go home and he's so giddy and joyful that his brother and his wife are making faces at each other. pierre just plays with the kids and the dog in front of the fireplace. they're so happy to see him like this. and he goes out and sees esteban again and again that summer, before idk he starts some job at the law firm in the city and learns about estebans life in the sea. when he's in town all he does is miss esteban. there's a girl he's supposed to marry maybe but he never asks for her hand in marriage so she marries someone else and charles settles down in the capital

of COURSE since this is a mock fairytale he has to come back to that town he grew up in. he's not meant to be a fisherman but maybe he takes over the shop after the keeper falls too ill, and he's good at that too. he has money stashed away from his work in the city and he's dressed a little different. maybe he starts donating books to the school. and he goes out to the cove -- their cove -- in the evenings, just to remember.

eventually esteban is there too. and pierre's feet are bare and in the water, and esteban lays up against the rock and listens to pierre read and then tells him his own stories of the sea. its not quite a happy ending because they can never be together and pierre is getting older and getting lonely. and esteban at home in the sea his family has always thought he wanted everything too badly, the exploring job he got and then lost, to know what it's like on land.

after so many years of wondering, and fights back and forth, and missing each other, straddling that space between land and sea, pierre asks if its true. that mermaids can leave the sea but cannot speak until they find their true love (little mermaid #baller). esteban tells him some tale and the answer is: yes.

pierre asks him if he's willing to try it and esteban disappears for months. and the town watches pierre fade away sadder and sadder. his brother tells him they can take on the shop if he wants to go back to the city but pierre just shakes his head. eventually he takes a boat out, a tiny dinghy and goes out to the sea to search for esteban because he can't. leave it like this. again. he can tell esteban they can go back to like it was. they don't have to fight.

but of course theres a STORM the wind whipping and pierre is cold and his mouth is caked with salt, his boat falling apart at the seams. eventually he capsizes and is clinging to whats left of the hull and then a wave sucks him under and he loses it and he's sputtering and he thinks hes going to die. who is there bringing him to the surface but esteban? esteban who heard his cry and swum as fast as he could from his home. esteban who loves him.

pierre is unconcious as esteban swims him back to the cove. and hes like coughing weakly and esteban is wrapped around him because he's not warm and his tail is scaly but hes warmer than the water and that has to be good enough right? and pierre is like. "este?" and esteban is like. "right here." and he's not going to apologize because he never apologizes. but pierre looks at him and it feels like forgiveness. PIERRE apologizes instead right there and says he's sorry for asking and esteban says. i couldn't lose my family forever. i couldn't lose my voice. and pierre is like. okay.

things go back to normal. pierre's shop never runs out of sugar again and his prices are always just a little too low like he's been blessed by something. and he sees esteban in the cove no matter the wind and the weather. And then... I think eventually esteban DOES decide to trust pierre enough to come to land to give it all up even though he shouldn't have to.

Esteban steps out of the water and pierre is mad at him because esteban never said he'd be so tall and then they KISS and esteban can SPEAK because they both wanted each other to be enough but never thought it would be the truth enough to try until now. and of course esteban has to put on pierre's clothes which are all too short and everyone is confused about this new man with a soft voice and a lilting accent. pierre says he's from the city but everyone can tell he's from the sea. he works the boat with pierre's brother and charles comes to visit and teaches him to write in their language, and not the language of the sea.

They're both a kind of happy that can't be explained, moody and changing and sometimes frightening. esteban stays with pierre in the room above the shop even though it's too small for both of them. and no one quite understands but they accept it, even when pierre and esteban fight loud enough that the whole town can hear it, even when esteban disappears for a week and pierre say it's to the city but everyone wonders if the stories are true. and esteban is visiting home.

THE END.

[cbsghostsmetasandtrevor]

CBS Ghosts - Hello! - The Ghosts' Solution

Warning: Spoilers may appear.

I love that Isaac’s just like “Okay, Troops” as if they’re his army under his command.  I wonder if he just REALLY loves being the leader. It’s especially funny in a few gifs.

LMAO - Thor: Unknown waters are dangerous - unless Cod and Hetty starts off like “Yes, he must know - he’s a traveler” then two seconds later - “Damn it with the cod!”

At this point, Hetty (like the four older ghosts) have heard about Thor fondness for Cod for over a century and it’s like hearing my dad’s stories about the marines - fun at first, now boring.

I love the cod reactions through the show. Not just for Hetty, but all of them.

Anyway, I love that she makes the same face EVERY time she hears it.

I love that these four are just looking at him like - WHAT?  Why are we listening to this man?  Also, going to note Trevor’s sitting position because damn - how long did it take him to learn how to sit so he’s covering himself?

Do the others appreciate his efforts? I would hope so.

Isaac’s a humble bragger - or just a bragger.  He’s just like “Yes, I’m awesome” - oh Isaac, you forget who you live with.  

I do like that Pete’s just intrigued like “Oooh, interesting.” I wonder if Pete is the one that everyone just info dumps, too? I feel like he's definitely sat there and listened to Isaac's stories.

I LOVE SASS - OMG!  Isaac’s bragging (and perhaps Trevor, Flower and Alberta haven't heard this bit before) until Sass goes “you’re a dumbass - you didn’t win, you surrendered.”

I love how Trevor and Flower slowly turn to Sass like “did you really just say that?” ��It’s interesting because this tidbit reminds us that Sass was THERE when Isaac’s life was happening and WATCHING.  I like to think that Sass pulls shit out of his ass - half true, half untrue - just to mess with ‘the Captain’ Isaac.  They’ve lived together WAYYYYY too long.  

Also, love Alberta’s little laugh.  It’s so fun seeing their reactions. 

LMAO!  This is SO FUCKING FUNNY.  

Isaac - it worked!  

Sass - yeah but you died two weeks later.

Isaac - it worked, damnit!  That was the point.

It’s just so funny because Sass is clearly having NONE of bossy Isaac and sassing him (pun intended) and Isaac just - doesn’t know how to deal with that. It’s like he’s not used to this despite the fact that he’s been living with Thor & Sass for 250 years.  Like - dude... you should expect this.  

IDK I love it because it makes me wonder how they survived the last two centuries with each other or it’s like brotherly teasing at this point.  Either way, FUNNY.

Also - they all know you’re good at talking, Isaac, they’ve heard it a lot - they’ve LIVED (Afterlived)? with you for YEARS - Centuries in Sass’ case.

I love that Thor & Hetty are next to each other in this scene.  Just because Thor is SO FREAKING EXTRA and Hetty’s like - you have a point until - Woah there buddy!

Like she probably agrees with him until he goes a step too far and then she raises her hands as if to stop him gently.  

Also, does anyone else wonder if Thor isn’t interested in talking because he was abandoned?  Like maybe the 500 years he lived alone made him more bitter and violent and unwilling to compromise or talk things out? Aw, poor dane-murdering viking - I feel for you, Thor.

LOL - I guess we know who Alberta struggles with at times - Thor, which makes sense because he’s very violent at times.  I love how she looks at Sass&Flower like “You two should be able to calm him down.”  

I wonder if they’ve ever talked about that / used Ghost Court to make him chill out - I mean, it’s not working, but...how many times has he been banished?

Sass looks so over it - he’s been with the guy for 500 years, so at this point...

Flower’s like “let’s change the subject”...

Also, Trevor’s just like a puppy - he’s looking at Thor & Hetty concerned and then at Alberta like “Oh, yeah, something should be down about this.” and back at Thor & Hetty like “well, not me”.

Flower’s on the side of keeping the livings - probably because their afterlives have been SO boring, while the older ghosts argue otherwise.

This is very interesting - Thor, Isaac, and Hetty are hardcore against the livings staying because “they’ll be overrun” BUT Sass seems indifferent, while the younger ghosts are game for it.  

Just like in the pilot, no one’s stances have changed.  This is interesting because Hetty seemingly grew attached to Sam in the day she was there, but it’s also possible that Isaac got in her head about the hotel.  Not that Isaac’s manipulative, but Hetty (aside from in DP) pretty much defers to men - particularly Isaac, in the first season.  She doesn’t really start to realize that she can and should voice her opinions until the Vault, which is a turning point for her.  Although there was leadup to that moment - standing up to Elias was HUGE for her.  

Anyway, I digress.  You can see that she’s obviously been listening to Isaac because of what he says next.  

This is an important piece of dialogue.  Why?  Because Sass’ sass of Isaac earlier was just funny in a brotherly - we’ve lived together way too long way - but HERE is where Sass shows that YEAH, he’s learned to live with Isaac, but he has a rightful chip on his shoulder given that Isaac was fighting for the right to be a country from the people who invaded Sass’ people’s land and took it from them.  

I really wish the show went into the likely underlying issue with Sass & Isaac - if I recall correctly - we rarely see these two alone together.  They certainly don’t seem to be close or even all that friendly at times. 

Given that we later learn that before Pete died, no one compromised on anything and they fought ALL the time, you have to wonder if this was and still is a problem not yet, resolved.

Speaking of Pete...

He’s SO USED TO STEPPING IN AS A MEDIATOR that he jumps in before Isaac can even think of a response - we don’t even see Isaac’s non-verbal reaction because Pete jumps in so quickly. 

Also, I wonder how long he’s been thinking about this?  Since the scare?  All night?  During this convo?  He seems very well prepared.  

Finally, it’s a great idea for a peaceable way solve the problem.

Awww, of course the youngest is the first to be like “Yes - this is awesome”.  He says he likes it because ‘hot chick stays’, but I also think he just likes the idea that they would be less bored with young livings around.  He’s quick to learn their names AND he mentions “No hotel” because he knows that he should agree with the older ghosts’ opinions that hotel is bad.  Personally, I could see Trevor loving the “hotel” since it would bring life and fun to the house he’s been stuck in for decades - totally bored.  

I also think that he felt a connection with Sam (and it's already turned into more of a crush) since she talked to him (albeit briefly) and the vase is the reason she can see them.

And naturally, he agrees with Pete - who was the only one to side and support him when Hetty accused him of murder.

Awww, I love that Alberta ponders the possibility and then sides with Trevor - and HE’S SO HAPPY.  He’s like “yes, I have a buddy”.  We don’t see much of Trevor & Alberta, but I can imagine as the 4th youngest (and therefore on the young side) that she bonded with him more than the older four despite being with them longer.

Especially because they have similar party pasts, and Alberta's not afraid to be involved in dirty dealings or sex conversations - she's as much of a voyeur as Trevor is and it's clear early on.

Also, it’s interesting that it appears 4 vs 4 - young versus old.

Sass is the only one to not say one way or another what they should do or if he sides with youngest or oldest ghosts, BUT in a future Episode he says that he “Always takes the opposite of Trevor’s Side” so we can assume that he’s with the Oldest ghosts.  And in order we have the 3 older/oldest ghosts say negative - Flower start the positive train and now Alberta’s saying it too.

It’s so fun!  

Also, he fist bumps her shoulder and smiles so happily at her as he listens to her discuss the positives.  :)

OOOOOH!  Okay BIG SPOILERS HERE: 

DAMN HETTY - you’re HARSH here.  You could just let it go, you could just support her or ignore her statement, but you KNOW she was murdered, Hetty!  You were THERE and know who did it!  Like WHAT???  WHY would you straight up gaslight her into believing that she died of a heart attack?

Honestly, the gaslighting here is SO HARSH and unnecessary.  Why are you protecting them???? Imagine if this had been the thing that kept Alberta from being sucked off - that would be TERRIBLE.  And even though it wasn’t... to possibly be the reason Alberta’s stuck... 

Ouch.  Anyway.  I’ll probably keep track - how many times does this come up and how many times does she attempt to gaslight Alberta into believing otherwise?

Also, one other note - why the F does Alberta WANT to be murdered?  Who wants to be murdered? People get murdered for non-fabulous/famous reasons... like most serial killer victims.

Okay, some notes here:

Alberta, there’s nothing wrong with heart attacks.  Okay, your Buddy there next to you died of heart problems... he’s literally SITTING next to you and you’re like “I’m not that lame” WOW, Alberta.

Second, Trevor’s gone from smiling and happy to concerned about the fighting to looking at Alberta go on about how ‘lame’ heart problem deaths are somewhat tensely - upset.  Knowing how he died makes (as mentioned above) this statement kind of callous.  

Now, the interesting thing about this is that his death is only ever mentioned 1 time.  During Trevor’s pants.  He, unlike Pete, Flower and Alberta (the youngest ghosts), never talks about his death.  And seeing this - that look on his face as he looks down at her as she talks about how her death had to be better than that - had to be the reason he never talks about it despite claiming that it was a party and he was legend when it happened.  The way he show boats about his death is TP makes me think that he wants it to have been better than it was - partially due to this.

I would give Alberta a pass for ‘potentially not knowing’ because she wasn’t there but neither was Hetty and Hetty’s the one to make the statement that ‘his heart exploded’, so they DO KNOW.  So, no pass Alberta.

Third, Hetty like ruffles herself weirdly when Alberta goes into her “my death rocked” theory, and it’s only been a theory for 90 plus years, which intrigues me.  Is it because she knows that Alberta’s right?  Is it because Alberta’s doing that thing that the older ghosts get annoyed by (the talking / joking about their deaths) that the youngest ghosts minus Trevor do? So many questions.

OOOH, interesting - he’s the ONLY one not to of the four youngest main ghosts...  Is it because of this Alberta/Hetty exchange?  Could he feel like it wasn’t fun or cool enough to talk about?  Aw, poor Trevor. He always wanted to be the popular/cool person and essentially he died in 'the lame' way instead of a cool way, according to Alberta. That has to hurt. Especially since the younger ghosts have 'cool' deaths:

Alberta - murder

Flower - bear attack

Pete - arrow by child

Steph - chainsaw killer

and then, Trevor... took two pills and made his heart explode, no wonder he doesn't do that 'joke - talk about it' thing. Awwww.

Sorry, he distracts me.

Lastly, is PETE.  As we see below - he is once again the peacemaker.  We don’t know if Hetty had another retort, but what we DO know is that Pete jumps in quickly - just like with Isaac/Sass - and offers some comfort.  

What’s interesting about this comfort is that, at first, it seemed obvious that he was comforting Alberta about the possibility of her heart attack being her death (this makes sense given his crush), but NOW, I'm thinking - he’s offering TREVOR comfort.  He wants TREVOR to feel less sad about his death, since he went from smiling and happy to upset at the topic.  Trevor’s only been dead 20 years, so maybe he hasn’t gotten to the whole ‘mock my death’ part of accepting death like Alberta, Pete, and Flower.

OOOOh, could that work???

There’s stages of accepting ghost life / your death.

1. Don’t Talk about it - even though you’ve accepted it.

2. Joke about it because well, what else can you do?

3.  Refuse to acknowledge it unless you have no choice.  

4. Accept it but don’t go out of your way to bring it up.

Ah, Pete, making jokes about the arrow. He does this probably the most. He and Alberta are in love with talking about their deaths. Match made in purgatory? JK

LMAO. FLOWER!  WHAT??? HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW - like it's so obvious!

HAHAHA. Sass is so like ... these dumb idiots - why am I stuck with them?

LOL - Pete’s like “Uh, the Fuck question is that?” - Okay, he’s nicer than I am about it, but he’s like “Hello, obvious!” LOL.  

ANYWAY.  End of this scene!  It was fun - I didn’t realize how much I could about just one scene but there was a lot of little tidbits about the characters in just the one scene that make A LOT more sense given the future episodes and how things tie together.  

I love it.  Anyway, this was fun (I feel like Tigger) 

please feel free to reblog and come talk to me about this! :)  OR Send asks :)

Thanks!

[freebooter4ever]

Nono, you’re right about glasses Geno, but what does he teach?

My pitch would be Soviet art history, his phd is specifically in the soviet sculptural tradition and it’s a long running joke amongst his students that his apartment is probably full of weird-ass replicas and plaster casts of them.

Ahahahaha you must not have seen that old post i found last night - art was apparently geno's least favorite subject. He used to ask his mom to do his painting homework for him, poor boy. (go watch the gifs its cute, a decade ago but he smiles at getting away with cheating in the exact same way he did when he made the cartoon joke this season)

No, if this is gonna be my silly little fantasy where geno is still in pittsburgh but as some adorable bashful professor and more accessible than a famous hockey player, he's gotta be in a field more accessible. I was never cool enough for the art department, there was a reason i was an artist/computer scientist doing computer science research instead of art research.

Ridiculous fantasy under the cut cause this month has been horrible and who doesnt need escapism :P

Lets put him in the math department, he's good at poker right? Or literature. One of those nerds who likes logic puzzles, like for fun. The kind that enjoys supposing something is fact, and then following the logic train of how the world's dominos would change if this one (wrong) thing is actually true. That'd stick math professor geno's office somewhere in baker hall, which is warm (like 90 degrees ALL YEAR), and strangely soft (well worn), but somewhat industrial (carnegie built all these buildings with the steel industry in mind), he'd fit right in.

Also it's shared with the chemistry department, and the chemical engineering students installed a soda machine in the hallway of basement B. And its famous because it's the cheapest place for caffeine on campus (being run by students they sold the cans close to at cost) and connected to like four other buildings by indoor bridges so you can get your soda fix even during the winter. Before a doctor told me i had to quit caffeine or else have a stroke, i was frequently walking over to buy cherry cola, like a cigarette break only more sugary.

So we have to have a meet cute in this little fantasy and what better vehicle than chitchat over a soda machine. Geno's supposedly shy, right? So i imagine professor geno is even worse, like professors dont talk to media unless they actively want to go viral and become famous and geno strikes me as the type who'd instead be quietly brilliant. Anyway, im shy too, so obviously it's gonna take at least two years of accidental run-ins before there's even a conversation. Like the first year i'd probably learn the hot mystery professor's schedule and time my soda machine visits to coincide with his. The second year i'd probably find out his name from a friend of a friend of a friend who took his class back in undergrad. By the third year we might exchange four whole sentences and it'd be the highlight of my life.

Speaking of classes, geno's gotta be that professor with tons of quirks. Costumes every halloween, a teaching style that is very serious but somehow the funniest in the department, everybody has nicknames from him, all the women in his classes are in love with him and give him other nicknames and tease each other about him behind his back. His office hours are always full, which he's a little bit sad about because if nobody shows up he has an excuse to play video games on his computer for a few hours. He's always stopped in the hallways because everybody recognizes him - current and old students alike - and wants to chat or ask questions related to life or homework. You can hear his voice coming from a mile away, so he's easy to find and socialize with. By the same token when he's in a bad mood, everybody knows it.

Professor geno would also be unfailingly kind - the one who remembers what its like to be perpetually exhausted, hungry, and broke as a student, so he sometimes orders pizza and has it sent to the whiteboard study areas in wean.

I dont think math professor geno would live in an apartment, that's a little boring. He'd probably live with his good buddy who's a famous hockey player and understands that adjunct professors get paid shit until you get your phd and then, god willing, tenure, so doesn't charge him any rent. This version of sid doesnt live in excluseive rich people town but instead has one of those stately mansions in shadyside. And its a college town so sometimes when they go out people recognize geno from class more often than they recognize sid and sid secretly thrives off this.

At some point after maybe four years of soda machine conversation, i'd get up the courage to ask professor geno if i could draw his portrait. Maybe he'd also help me come up with ideas for new animals and creatures to sculpt for my research gallery.

Lmao look what you did anon, you got me writing self insert fic for the first time in over a decade 🤣

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

thank you for tagging me!!!

1. Are you named after anyone?: just my middle name, which i think was like my great great grandma or something

2. When was the last time you cried?: a few minutes ago but it wasn’t sad crying it was because i love showaddywaddy so much and they’re very cute and i was losing my mind over stuff and things and i couldn’t stop from dehydrating myself, i will now need to drink some water

3. Do you have kids?: i do not. unless you count my dog. but there is a pets question further down so i’ll just. no i don’t have kids. 

4. Do you use sarcasm?: yes sometimes depending on who i’m talking to but i try to make it as obvious as possible, or sometimes it’ll just be me being myself on tumblr and acting like i’m in denial about certain feelings for certain musicians even though i know for a fact that i’m already fully submerged in that emotion ocean. otherwise known as emocean.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?: oh wow, so many things. which depend a lot on other things. like are they talking or am i just looking at them? because if talking, then i will notice their voice above all else. if i’m just looking at them, probably their eyes or nose. but it also depends on who it is and what stands out to me about them the most, which is different for everybody. maybe it’ll be their clothes or their hair. or something about the way they act. 

6. What’s your eye color?: blue

7. Scary movies or happy endings?: this depends on things too, like i love horror movies if they’re 80′s cheesy horror movies that i can laugh at and point out plot holes. happy endings are nice, but if i enjoy a movie all the way through until it has a really bad ending, then i won’t care that much because i had fun watching it anyway. so i have no idea how to answer this.

8. Any special talents?: accidentally destroying any and all social interactions with anybody ever, most of the time.

9. Where were you born?: usa

10. What are your hobbies?: making gifs and crying about bands while also falling in love with them. also knitting, crochet, gardening, games, being socially awkward

11. Have you any pets?: one dog

12. What sports do you play/have played?: none

13. How tall are you?: 5’ 5”

14. Favourite subject in school?: i did not go to school

15. Dream job?: band photographer in the 70′s and 80′s

i tag EVERYONE

15 tags 15 mutuals

*tips hat* @athemarina

1. Are you named after anyone?: No but there is this thing on my father's side of my family where give a name starting with the letter A to their child.

2. When was the last time you cried?: About a month ago.

3. Do you have kids?: Noh

4. Do you use sarcasm?: Why would I ever?

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?: The way they talk and I try to notice hand gestures a lot.

6. What’s your eye colour?: Dark brown

7. Scary movies or happy endings?: Either one or both

8. Any special talents?: Eh....I can do this thing with my arms, it's a bit hard to explain but one friend called it a 'bone breaker' and my other friend told me I was temporarily popping it out of it's socket.

9. Where were you born?: Earth. I assure you that I am not an alien.

10. What are your hobbies?: Writing, drawing, reading, day dreaming, plotting ways to rebel against my school.

11. Have you any pets?: Fishes.

12. What sports do you play/have played?: Speed skating, swimming

13. How tall are you?: 5'4'' (yes I am very short)

14. Favourite subject in school?: Art (I am a computer science student)

15. Dream job?: Honestly I am trying to survive through school. My dream job was crushed in 8th grade.

Tagging: @late-to-the-fandom @master-of-the-pigeon-religion @on-noon @caligraphyzev @calloumii @idreamofhamandcheese @rxd-bxttrflxss @isabellebissonrouthier @midnight-and-his-melodiverse@subuthetitan @i-eat-books-and-nutella @timetravellingkitty @avocado-frog @usernamewastaken @aohendo

[fxntxsix]

The Agreement (Austin Butler x Producer!Reader)

Okiiii here we go - my first smut. This was an experience whew. Okay, a few things. Firstly, I’ve chosen to fuck around with the age timeline here a bit. So, although I don’t mention it directly Austin is 30 here. Also, this has the potential to have a few more parts, not many, but a few so let me know if you’d be interested. Ans yes, yes I do suck at making GIFs but it is what it is. I need to extend my gratitude to @eu-whoria for all the smut writing tips thank yewwwww. Also, special mention to @presleysnotes my new bestie, here’s your homework reward.

Feedback is appreciated but please be gentle lmao. Other than that let me know if I’ve made any grammatical errors or any of that. And my requests are always open!

Warnings: SMUTTY SMUT NUT!!! swearing, smoking, drinking, sub!Austin x dom!reader, morally grey subject matter, tiny bit of blood, handcuffs, blindfold, mentions of Brad Pitt (I think that’s it please let me know if I missed any!)

Word Count: 3806

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Austin knew it was wrong, but he had been desperate. After dedicating basically his entire life to acting and still not catching a big break, he felt helpless. So, he did whatever it took to propel his career to stardom. He knew he was talented, hardworking and attractive, he just needed the right connection. It just so happened that you were that right connection.

Three years after your initial meeting, he was finally posing on the Cannes red carpet for the ‘Elvis’ premier. With you next to him.

Three Years Ago

It had been a long and gruelling day for you and it was only 5:30 in the evening. As a producer at Warner Bros., you spent the majority of your days in meetings with old men (they preferred the term ‘investors’ apparently) who thought you were nothing more than a pretty face although you had proven them wrong repeatedly by putting out blockbuster after blockbuster. You were a businesswoman, one at the top of her fucking game.

Today, you had spent the last two hours in a conference room trying to work through details for an upcoming Elvis biopic. The project had been approved by the higher ups and you were given free reign for the creative as well as business decisions for the film. But the ‘investors’ were under a misguided impression that they had a say in any of these decisions. The only thing they had agreed on so far was the involvement of Baz Luhrmann as the director. Other than that, all your ideas for the script, cast, crew, promo structure etc. were met with push back and bogus objections.

Your patience and sanity were hanging by a thread so naturally you lost it when your secretary decided to barge in and let you know that you were getting late for a social appointment, “Goddamn it, Jack! How many times have I told you not to disturb me during a meeting unless someone was fucking dying. Get out of my sight before I throw something at you.”

Okay so you had a temper, but you had earned it. You had worked your ass of since you were 19 to reach where you were. It paid off too, you were Warner Bros.’ youngest producer at only 26. Anyway, as Jack scurried out of the room you decided to remind the ‘investors’ who was really in charge.

You put your hands on the conference table to lean forward and say very quietly, “Now, I want to make sure everyone understands this - I don’t give a rat’s ass about who you are or how you reached this table but I know my job better than anyone else in this industry. I make the decisions here, not you. Everything I tell you from here on out about this project is just me being courteous and it is most definitely not up for two hour long discussions. Is that fucking clear?”

You stared them down as some of them slowly gulped and others nodded their heads. You straightened up and walked out of the room, oozing with confidence. When you got closer to your office, you caught site of Jack sniffling and dabbing his eyes. You rolled your eyes at the unprofessional display of sensitivity. I mean you weren’t even that mean.

“Make sure the car is ready to leave in 20 and for God’s sake clean yourself up.”

Being one of the most influential people at Warner Bros. came with a few advantages. Such as having a stretch limo at your disposal, an en suite bathroom in your office and also a personal stylist made available to you for social events like the one you were currently headed to. Your stylist, Marie, was more like you in the sense that she was one of the few capable people around who knew their job and stuck to it. This helped create a bond between the two of you, despite an age gap of almost a decade. Tonight, she chose to put you in a dress that made you feel so confident that you remember thinking to yourself, “Woah, I’d fuck me.”

Today’s social event was less of an ‘event’ and more of a party being hosted by your dear friend, Brad Pitt. He was currently in the pre-production phase of the new Quentin Tarantino film, a role he got after he asked you to call up Quentin and make a recommendation. It was just simple business.

When you finally reached his house and rung the bell, the door swung open to a slightly wobbly Brad, “Y/NNNNN! So glad you could make it. Come on in, I’ve got some people who’ve been dying to meet ya.” So, he took you around the room and introduced you as ‘the big shot producer.’ You watched people’s expression change from disinterest to admiration. 

It was common for people to change their behaviour around you in the hopes that you would take notice and cast them in one of your films. Unfortunately, it didn’t work that way but you would be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy the special treatment. It made you feel powerful and in control.

“You’re an awful host, Pitt. I’ve been here for like 20 minutes now and you haven’t even offered me a drink, yet. I am seriously not in the mood for anymore work talk for the rest of the night. It’s been a long day as it is.”

“Oh shit, sorry, my bad. But you just gotta meet one last person then you can get as wasted as you want. Y/N this kid’s work ethic is fucking insane and he has so much raw talent. He got me kinda jealous for a minute but I couldn’t even bring myself to hate him. He’s gonna be working on the new Quentin Tarantino.” His eyes scanned the room for only a second before raising his hand and yelling, “Yo Butler! Austin! Come here a second.”

You watched the head of jet black hair perk up and turn around. The closer he came, the more you realised that you had never seen a man as beautiful as him. He belonged in a fucking art museum. But, you had a reputation to maintain, so instead of blushing when you made eye contact with his electric blue eyes, you stood up with you head high. You made sure your dress was fanned out to show the thigh high slit and arched your back just a little to do your boobs a favour.

“Mr. Pitt,” he gave Brad a firm handshake, “Fantastic party, sir.”

In that moment, you were sure you had experienced your first ever eargasm.

“How many times do I gotta tell ya to just call me ‘Brad.’ Anyway, it’s alright you’ll get it right someday.” You watched the brunette’s eyes sparkle like a fucking Disney prince when he smiled at Brad’s comment. “I’d like to introduce you to Y/N L/N. She’s the producer at Warner and I believe she’s had a long day so get her a drink, kid.”

You had extended your hand for a handshake but he tenderly brought your hand up to his lips and placed a soft kiss on your knuckles - all gentlemen like, “Austin Butler. It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.” Something absolutely feral stirred in you at the title he had used.

You were quick to pull your hand back and say, “Well, aren’t you sweet?”

His cheeks flushed with the most enchanting blush you had ever seen. Your mind immediately thought about how that pretty pink colour would probably extend to his chest as you ride hi-

“What would you like to drink?” You could have imagined it, but you thought you saw his eyes flick down to your wine coloured lips for a brief moment. Once you told him what you wanted, he walked away from you to get it and you found yourself ogling his ass in those dress pants. As he walked back to you with the drinks in his hand, you could feel his eyes drinking you in from head to toe and this time you knew you hadn’t imagined it.

After a few minutes of small talk and drinking you could finally feel the stress of the day catching up with you and the knots in you shoulder screamed for a cigarette. “I’m just going to step out for a quick smoke,” you announced.

“Let me get you another drink and I’ll join you...i-if that’s okay I mean?” he fumbled over his words. You nodded your head to indicate that it was, in fact, okay.

You slipped out into the empty balcony and opened your clutch finding your cigarette pack. You took one out and put it between your lips and started looking for a lighter but you couldn’t see it. For fuck’s sake, you were going to strangle Jack, he was responsible for prepping your clutch.

Just when you were about to give up, you heard a click and looked up. Austin stood in front of you with his lighter flared up and said in his velvety low voice, “Allow me, ma’am.” So you took a step closer to him, perhaps closer than you need to be, and leaned in cupping the flame with your hand as you stayed still for a second to let the tip of the cigarette catch the flame. Then, you took a long drag and tilted your head up so that you would exhale the smoke right at him.

You heard his breath get caught in his chest. You smirked to yourself and it was only when you walked away that he exhaled. You leaned over the railing with your drink and cigarette in hand as Austin lit up his own cigarette. He walked over and leaned next to you. Close enough that both of your upper arms were touching. 

You took another drag and asked, “So, tell me Austin, why is it that I have never heard of you before?”

He was taken aback for a second, then chuckled and explained his entire career trajectory - right from his humble Disney beginnings to the latest Tarantino role. You noticed that the calibur of his roles had only increased with time but he hadn’t quite gotten to the big break. Maybe it was about time for that, you thought to yourself.

“I just feel like I’m stuck you know? Of course, I’m very grateful for everything I’ve been able to do so far but it just hasn’t been what I want it to be. It seems like such a waste but somewhere, deep down, I know that given the opportunity, I can be great.” Although he wasn’t looking at you, there was a dangerous gleam evident in his eyes. Almost like a hunger. But, it only lasted a second before he cracked a charming smile and changed the topic, returning to his formal tone, “Anyway, forget about it. I know you don’t want to talk about work tonight, ma’am.”

“You know, I think you’re older than me. You shouldn’t be calling me that,”

“Really? How old are you?”

“26″

He let out a low whistle, “Wow, you must be one of the youngest producers around.”

“The youngest ever at Warner.”

“And that’s why I will continue to call you that. It ain’t about the age. You’ve earned the respect...ma’am.”

He was still looking at the view rather than at you and something in you fluttered at his acknowledgement of your hard work. You started looking at his side profile attentively. The strong jaw, the high cheek bones, the pouty pink lips. He was star material, in fact, you were surprised that he hadn’t been picked up yet.

Suddenly, in your mildly inebriated state a thought crossed your mind and before you could stop yourself you were dragging your perfectly manicured finger across his cheek to turn his head to you, “You’re right, Austin. You can be great. I’m going to make you greater than you could ever dream. But only if you and I could come to an agreement.”

“Wh-what kind of agreement, ma’am?”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say it so you decided to just show him instead. You leaned up and give him a chaste lingering kiss. You felt him pull back so he could look into your eyes. Confident as ever, you held his gaze and could see the gears turning behind those dazzling blues that shone despite the low lighting of the party.

A beat later, he had moved so that your body was trapped between his and the balcony railing. One of his, rather large, hands was on your hip and the other was on your cheek pulling your lips to his.

This kiss was different. It was desperate and hungry, almost like he was trying to show you his ambition through the kiss. But it wasn’t messy, it was slow, deep, calculated. The hand on your hip had travelled down to give your ass a harsh squeeze. A little yelp parted your lips and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue in and massage yours with it.

It looked like you were losing a dominance battle and you felt the need to take back some control. You moved one of your hands to give his hair a sharp tug. He let out a sinful moan against your lips and you felt him roll his hips against you. You pulled again, this time to break the kiss. You were both panting like dogs and you said, “We’re leaving.” He nodded enthusiastically.

Soon enough you guys were in the back of your stretch limo. You told the driver to take you home and put the partition between him and you up. Immediately, Austin’s hands were on you and they were everywhere. The long and deep kisses had turned into quick pecks on your lips, cheek, jaw and neck till he found the spot that made you dig your nails into his thigh. He sucked on that spot hard enough to make you mewl. You carded your hand through his hair and heard him suck in a breath.

“You like when I play with your hair, baby?”

“Yes ma’am.”

You made sure to keep that in mind for later at night. You dragged your hand from his thigh to the bulge in his pants. You just ran your fingertips over it and felt the car lurch to a stop. You were both out of the car in a flash. 

The elevator ride to your penthouse was spent making out like you were a bunch of horny teenagers. Once you were finally in your house, both of you kicked off your shoes and he looked like he was ready to attack you again. But before he could you put a hand on his chest.

“Woah boy, slow down there. We have all night. Take off your jacket and go sit on that couch. Oh, and don’t touch yourself till I’m back.”

He nodded and fast walked to the couch. Meanwhile, you sauntered over to your room and took off your dress, adjusting your lingerie underneath, silently thanking Marie for making you wear Victoria’s Secret tonight. 

You opened the bedside drawer and pulled out a few things to take with you to the living room.

You found him sitting in his all black glory, a wonderful contrast against your white couch, his legs spread, arms splayed against the back of the couch and his face was turned up to the ceiling with his eyes closed. He heard the clicking of your heels and opened his eyes.

He whispered, “Fuck,” and brought one of his hands up to tug his lower lip between his thumb and index finger. He took in the swell of your breasts and ass, feeling desperate to take the curves in his hands but, at the same time, he felt like he couldn’t move without your permission. He noticed a few things that you brought from the room kept on the coffee table.

“Did you touch yourself, baby?”

“No ma’am”

“Good boy”

Austin felt like he couldn’t breathe. He had always been the dominant one during sex with past partners. This time he felt completely at your mercy and he was loving every second of it.

You straddled his hips and kissed him, hard. Taking his bottom lip between your teeth and biting it, tugging at it so that when you let it go it made a ‘pop’ sound. You smiled to yourself when you saw the little bit of blood where you had bit his lip. You kissed him again, making sure to lick up the blood, and you felt him buck his hips up over and over again. He let out a couple of heavenly whines to let you know how bad he wanted you.

“Pleaaaase,” he whined.

“Please what baby?”

“Please need more ma’am,” bucking his hips again.

“Aw come on you can beg better than that.”

“Please please please. Need to be in you so bad, ma’am. Want you to own me, please ma’am.”

“Oh, I own you alright,” you ripped his shirt open and heard the clatter of buttons flying everywhere.

You were very slowly, almost negligibly, moving your hips in circles against him. You put your mouth next to his ear, licked the shell and said, “Now, you gotta tell me if at any point, any point at all, you want me to stop. Just the word and we’ll stop. Do you understand, baby boy?” He nodded again.

You sat back to look at his face, “No baby, I need to hear you say it.”

Your index finger ran from his bottom lip, down his chin and your nail lightly scratched his Adam’s apple. As soon as you did that, his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down, indicating that he swallowed harshly, “Yes ma’am, I understand.”

“Such a good boy. Put your arms behind your back.”

You pick up the silver metal handcuffs you had brought from the room and cuffed his wrists together. Then you picked up the black satin scarf from the same place, carefully folding it and tying it around his eyes as a blindfold. You felt his breathing pick up. You stood up from his lap and took in the delectable sight before you. Only wearing his black dress pants, chest heaving up and down, blindfolded, handcuffed and waiting for you.

You get down on your knees, between his legs and keep your palms on his knees. You shift a little and nuzzle your nose against his straining cock. His hips shoot up, making you smile. You decided to let him catch a break and took his pants and boxers off, discarding them to the side. His hard dick sprung up against his stomach, precum already leaking from the red tip. You touched only the tip with your middle finger to pick up the liquid bead.

“Hnghhh aahh,” 

You laughed at his reaction and cooed, “My poor baby, so desperate for me.”

You put the finger in your mouth and hummed at the taste. This time you wrapped your hand around his length and jerked him off as hard as you could. At this point he was basically screaming for you. His body thrashing around uncontrollably. The loss of sight and touch heightened every other sensation for him. But you wanted him to come while he was inside you so you stopped your actions. Grabbing the last item from the coffee table, a condom that you tore open and slid on his cock.

You stood up again and took your panties off. Once again, you straddled him and asked, “Ready?”

“Yes ma’am please wanna cum so bad.”

You lifted your hips and started taking him in inch by inch. His pink lips hung open and you just couldn’t stop yourself from kissing those lips. You had to take a second to adjust because, at this angle and with his size, he was so deep that you thought you could feel him in your gut.

You started out with grinding against him. However, as your pace got faster, your hands came up to his hair again and tugged them hard. His teeth were bared in a way that kind of reminded you of a wolf and he was grunting every time your hips came down. Soon enough you couldn’t stop the moans from tumbling out of your mouth. 

“Please ma’am need to see you. Need to look at your pretty eyes to cum.”

Your hands went around his head and undid the blindfold. There they were, those blues that had turned a few shades darker because of the intense lust. He let out a high pitched moan as your pussy clenched around him. After a couple more minutes he had planted his feet firmly on the ground and began thrusting up into you as your hips came down. You had never felt pleasure like this.

It was your turn to let out a loud, “Aaaah God- fuck Austin so good. So fucking. Good. For me.” The last few words accentuated with rough thrusts.

“Fuck ma’am, I’m close so clo- fuck bout to bust. Ple-please let me come.”

You felt right on edge too and said, “Cum baby, cum for me. Only for me.”

His hips left the couch to thrust up into you for the last time as his back arched. His head fell against the back of the couch and you could see his abs twitch every few seconds as he released into the condom. The sounds that left him pushed you over, to your end. Your forehead came in contact with his muscled shoulder as both of you spent a couple of minutes just taking in as much oxygen as you could.

He broke the silence, “Wow”

You laughed and got off his lap, throwing away the condom and using the key to unlock the handcuffs. His wrists has turned an alarming red against his otherwise pale complexion so you gave each wrist a small peck.

“Does it hurt? Should I get some ice packs?”

“Oh no I’m alright.”

“And what about your lip? Are you okay? Was it too mu-”

He stood up and cupped your cheeks with his unfairly long fingers, “I’m alright I promise. It was mind blowing. Let’s just go to bed.” His eyes shifted down and he cockily added, “Your legs are shaking.”

“Shut up”

You led him to the bedroom and both of you got in the plush bed. He pulled you to him so your head was on his chest. You let out a yawn and said, “I’m taking you to the Warner offices tomorrow.”

Austin felt his heart drop but before he could even say anything you had drifted off to sleep.

So Part 2 anyone?

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[knullanon]

Your Yandere dd Vandal savages was amazing! Could you do another where his daughter wants a child(she's maybe around 25-26)? Would he like and allow it? Train it? Let her chose the father herself? Raise it herself? Things like that.

If it's not you thing I understand and please skip it!

dude I love this idea 😭😭 (also unrelated, but PLEASE make more gifs of him I'm begging yall 🙏🙏🙏🙏)

warnings: talk of babies, pregnancy, manipulation and financial control, murder, lmk if I missed any!

ok so let's get the first thing down: talking to him about it would piss him off. not particularly at you: well, he's still mad you want a baby but he's really pissed at whoever put this idea in your head

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he thinks it's someone else who wants you to have children: a secret lover? someone who wants to control you to get to savage? he goes over every situation and thought, and if it is any of those reasons, there will be hell to pay.

but let's say it's just cause you want one for yourself. he will bring up the fact that you've never been in a relashionship and that you have no idea what you want in life, only he can tell you what you want.

very discouraging. like, if you aren't 100% sure that you want a kid, he will convince you other wise. he says so much negative shit you actually start to reconsider your choice. not because you'd be a bad mom or parent, but because you are too young, you don't need a baby, you have your family in front of you. why don't you keep them happy?

he's very pissy about it. anytime you try to bring it up with him, he either changes the subject immediately or basically baby talks you, like you don't exist, and then proceeds to give you a 30 minute speech on why that would be terrible.

eventually, however, if you're REALLY persistent, he will ask you what you want from having a child. if he thinks that it's not just some very long phase, or that your just doing something rebellious, he will allow it.

he would absolutely not let you choose the father. hell no. who the hell would you choose, anyway? you don't know any men besides the ones from the light, and maybe a few guards. do you think they would even risk their lives trying to talk to you??? no. to them, talking to you, even in small talk, is a chance to get decapitated and put in the break room as a sign of what not to do.

will have a tournament for the rights of the father. best warrior to win, gets to be the father. of course, at the end of it, he just asks for "the seed in a tube", and then afterwards, he has the guy cloned and killed.

will present it as a gift. if he kills the guy in April, he freezed that shit to Christmas and gave it to you wrapped in a neat little box and told you your gift would be granted.

during the actual pregnancy, especially the first months, he would try to tell you that your making a mistake. especially when you're so tired, sick and angry all the time! all of it, just for a single baby in the end. why would you want that?

however, after a while he comes to terms with the fact that you're solid on your mind to have children and that you will not change your mind to his advice. he's not happy with it, but he can deal with it.

I'm not gonna lie, he would probably train the kid. he would be so mad that you want the kid that he would have them learn just so that you couldn't spend as much time with them, just so you could spend more time with him without having them interrupt the two of you.

even though he's mad the kid is there, he would be there 100% to make sure that they're being raised the "right" way, or basically how he would raise a kid. he also won't be directly mad at the kid for being born, in fact, after a while, he will probably grow attached as well. but at the beginning, there's always the reminder that the baby is taking away his own baby's attention, you.

as the kid gets older, he'd definitely become more happy to them, because he realizes they're just a mini you. he acts almost like a father figure to them, considering uh... the actual father had been dead for years (also, to put some salt in the wound, the clone was given to darkseid).

another thing he does is that if you need something financially, like food, clothes, even school work, it would have to go through him. he approves what you and your child have and don't have. if you want to move somewhere else, or live on your own, he will revoke rights or privileges he's given you, like electronics, communications with the outside world, and even if you get to leave your own rooms.

if he thinks that either of you are doing something wrong, he will use both of you as bargaining chips to threaten the other one to cooperate. he mainly does this to you, since your kid is usually obedient anyway.

while at the beginning of your pregnancy you'd be ecstatic that he finally let you have a child, later on down the years, you realize he loves using your child against you. he loves making you feel like hell hurt your child if they step out of line, so you make sure you're both at your best whenever he's around so he won't have something over you.

basically, he keeps you under his thumb using your kid. financially, emotionally, and physically he will do everything to make sure that you know what will happen if you don't do everything he says. after all, ho hard is it to give your father some love? and his little grandchild, he obviously wouldn't kill them or anything. he would beat the hell out of them. give them the chancla. maybe the belt, if he's really mad.

savage is originally very opposed to you having any children, and brushes it off as some kind of faze you'll outgrow. however, as the child grows and he becomes more comfortable about the situation, he would become more happy and less angry with the kid and become a good grandfather figure in their life, while simultaneously having you under his complete control.

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woooo I love this shit and yay!! I'm out of writers block bc I actually wrote something!!