#anyway i could talk about kaz and jesper for hours

[clownleys]

Six of Crows duology was a pretty fun read, even despite the fact I find most YA annoying. But I just couldn't stand Jesper and Wylan together! I found Wylan to be boring and apart from that I think their chemistry was a bit forced (like they are two gay characters so they should be together). I loved Kaz and Inej romance, but if I were to pair Jesper with anyone I think Kaz would be a pretty good fit for him (they come from a similar harsh backround and they are already pretty close, but they also give that nice opposites attract dynamic). What are your thoughts?

i was surprised how much i loved it, given that i could barely get through shadow and bone itself. soc really captured my heist-movie-loving ass tho!

and arghh, i really feel you on that jesper/wylan thingy!! i like both of the characters, but just really couldn't see them together, esp not long term. i couldn't feel the chemistry, the bickering felt flat and i just wasn't feeling the emotions at all. their lifestyles and temperaments seemed rather clashing too! i can't imagine jes actually wanting to stay out of the dopamine-kicking life and choosing a calmer set-up.

also i'm generally not a huge fan of that whole "all characters in a friend group must end up dating, preferably pairing up inside the group" thingy and was really hoping to avoid it with crows. i'm much fonder of the idea of them being a polycule, keeping some of them single or have them date people outside of the group.

as for jes, i really loved his dynamic with kaz actually and would love to see it explored in romantic-ish context! it was complicated in the best way, and i felt like the emotional load between them was both heave and genuine. they really seem to be able to bring up both the best and the worst in each other, but i feel like there was always a clear level of respect and care for each other. i also think that untangling the mess between them is such an interesting thing to explore, given their vastly different coping mechanisms!

[unactive-shroom]

Hi!! Could I get prompt #8 w/ Kaz Brekker?? Thx!!

(Oh and a fluff ending if possible)!!

*Prompt #*8: Trouble in Paradise ♡ 

“You and your partner spent the day before Valentine’s arguing and yelling. Will you make it up before Valentine’s is through? Or will this years Valentine be the worst yet..?”

Character: Kaz Brekker. Valentine's Event: Here

You turned over in bed, alone. Yesterday you and Kaz had argued and yelled for what felt like hours. You were just tired of Kaz not talking to you - never telling you before a mission would happen, not telling you about a mission he had earlier - heck, you found out from Jesper that Kaz had gotten badly hurt on his bad leg during a mission that you had heard nothing about. That was what had started the argument. You had always respected Kaz’s wishes, never complaining about the limited hours you had to spend with him, or judging him for the things he’d done, the blood on his hands. You kept your distance when he needed it, never complained about only being able to brush hands with him, occasionally a kiss. All you asked was that he told you before he went on a mission, in case it would be the last time you saw him alive. The argument had ended when Kaz had said that he didn’t need you, didn’t need anything to drag him down. Silence, thick like tar had enveloped the crow club after that. You both stared at each other, and while Kaz’s face remained unchanged, you could see the regret trickle into his eyes as he realised what he had said. You had simply turned on your heel and left, heading for Nina’s flat across the city. She let you stay the night - no questions asked.

It was now early morning, grey and wet, rain showering down on the pavements casting an even more miserable shadow on the morning. You left Nina’s apartment without waking her, and headed down to 2nd harbour, knowing Kaz avoided the area because of the increase amount of Stadwatch stationed there. You didn’t bother check if Inej was trailing you - Kaz was planning a big heist tomorrow, and Inej would be trailing their target for the day. At least, that’s what Jesper had told you. Kaz didn’t tell you anything anymore. Anyways, even if Inej had been trailing you, you wouldn’t be able to tell. The only time you stopped was to buy some fried potatoes for breakfast from a street vendor, the greasy warmth being your only source of heat against the blustery Kerch weather. Upon arriving at 2nd Harbour, you simply stood at the wall, watching the ships come and go from the harbour wall. You needed time to think. Was your relationship with Kaz actually working? When did things start to go wrong? He was right, you were dragging him down, holding him back. Sourly dumping the remainder of your fried potatoes in the trash can behind you, you turned and went to walk down the steps leading to the narrow strip of grey, lifeless sand beside the water, before slipping on the wet cobblestones and landing in a heap at the end of the stairs. You cursed as you unsteadily stood up, noticing a long gash up the length of your forearm. Great, you thought bitterly, just what I needed. Luckily there was few people around and no one had seen your tumble, but it was motivation enough to leave your brooding and return to Nina’s to patch yourself up.

Just as you were coming up the back entrance to Nina’s flat, you heard his voice. “Nina, if you don’t tell me, I will gut out this whole flat and throw it all in the Kerch sea - where is y/n?”. He was yelling, and sounded strange, concern laced in his voice. “Inej was suppposed to be trailing her, said she came here, but left early this morning for second harbour. By the time I got there, she was gone. Where did she go? Did she leave Ketterdam? God damn it, Nina, just tell me already!” You briefly considered leaving Kaz to wonder where you were, show him how it felt when he was gone, but you thought better of it. Pushing open the back door to the kitchen, an immediate silence enveloped the kitchen. Kaz and Nina looked at you, wide eyed. You watched his eyes travel from your eyes, to your wild, tangled hair from falling down the stairs, to the dried blood over the gash on your arm. He made an immediate start and limped over to you, gently taking your arm and inspecting the wound. “…Did someone do this?” He asked, looking at you with intense eyes. You looked back at him, anger growing from the pits of your stomach. How could he just waltz back in here and expect everything to be fine between them? You pulled your arm away harshly, saying nothing, and made your way up the stairs to Nina’s spare bedroom. As you were reaching the top, you heard Nina say “I think you really messed up this time, Kaz.”.

You sat on the edge of the bed, trying to tie the bandage around your arm with one hand and your teeth, blinking back tears of frustration. A tentative knock sounded at the door. You ignored it, turning to try get a better angle to tie the bandage around your arm. The door opened and shut, and despite having your back turned to him, you knew it was Kaz. His all too familiar cane clicked against the hardwood floor as he approached you. Both of you said nothing as he sat down beside you on the bed, your back still turned to him. After a few minutes of you still struggling with the bandage, he stood up, and knelt in front of you. You knew it must’ve been hell to kneel on his bad leg, but still, you couldn’t meet his eyes. “Please, y/n.” His hand gently took your arm again, and he gently wiped away the dried blood on your arm that you had missed in your frustration. He bandaged your arm carefully, and as he sat back up beside you, he kept a gentle hold of your arm. Carefully turning your face to look at him, he wiped away the tears that were cascading down your face and said simply, “I’m sorry.”, and for the first time in a very long time, he opened his arms and hesitated, before letting you cry onto his shoulder. He said very simply how he didn’t mean what he had said, and apologised for not communicating with you. He didn’t need a grand display of apology, you knew he meant every word of what he said .

Before long, you and Kaz had left Nina’s house and were walking arm in arm along the exchange. “I did have flowers, but they kind of got trampled on my way here.” he muttered, glancing at you. You looked at him incredulously. “I’m sorry, Kaz Brekker - ‘Dirtyhands’, ‘Bastard of the Barell’- was walking around Ketterdam with flowers? Why on earth -?” He elbowed you, looking sour. “For you, obviously. You think I enjoyed looking like a sappy moron walking around? Look, I’ll get you something else instead. How about-” He pointed at a very expensive looking diamond necklace in a shop window. “-that? We’ve broken in there before, it’s an easy job, just say the word and it’s yours.” You pulled him along, laughing. “Kaz, we both know well that I don’t need a gift as an apology. We just had an argument, that’s all”. “You don’t know what day it is? February 14th, y/n. Don’t tell me you got brain damage when you took a trip down those stairs?” You looked at him blankly, not registering the date until - “Oh! It’s Valentine’s!” You gasped, and Kaz shook his head, smiling. “Wow, Kaz, you really are terrible, fighting with your partner on Valentine’s day.” He chuckled, giving you a funny look. ”Yeah, out of all the things I’ve done in my life, that’s the most unforgivable.” “mhm! you owe me big time”.

Needless to say, after a whole evening spent with Kaz talking and playing cards, you woke up to a pretty piece of jewellery sitting on your pillow, with a note that reads “Maybe don’t wear it out for a few weeks, they’ll probably be looking for it. Lunch at Cilla’s at 12?”

A.n: Happy Valentines! I hope Kaz wasn’t too OOC, It’s been awhile since I’ve read any of the grishaverse books. Thanks for requesting!

[ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes]

The Phoenix and the Crow

part ten

pairing: (hinted) kaz brekker x fem!reader

genre: netural... a hint of angst?

el's thoughts: this is muchhh shorter than the last few chapters but here it is! part ten! please remember to leave comments and reblog if you like it :)

masterlist

“Here she is! Sweetheart, we have visitors.” Kaz wheeled out an old man while Y/N trailed behind them. “Art collectors from Kerch.”

When Ohval had come to see the bodies of the uninvited guests Inej had attempted to attack from behind but failed. The older woman was much faster and seemed to sense her presence. Jesper and Toyla had rushed to help Inej in fighting the powerful durast while Kaz and Y/N snuck off to find the faint heartbeat in the back of the house. They eventually found an old man who was sitting in the back garden on a rocking chair. The grisha and thief introduced themselves as visiting art collectors which the old man believed and started talking to them about old, treasured art pieces. The pair helped him into his wheelchair and promised to bring him to his wife. Which is where they now stood on the steps behind the druast. 

Ohval turned around and gave the man in the wheelchair a small smile, “I know, dear. I was just about to offer them tea.”

Y/N saw everyone stagger to their feet, faces red and choked. She made eye contact with Zoya and Nina, silently asking if they were alright to which they both nodded. She scanned over the other four mentally examining for any serious injuries, from her view she couldn’t see any. 

Ohval turned to Toyla and spoke in Shu, “He’s not part of this.”

“There are the collectors I was telling you about.” Kaz’s voice was quiet and almost soft as he spoke. “They’ll be pleasantly surprised to meet you, the great thief of the art world.” He turned to the Shu woman and smirked, “The Disciple.”

Jesper frowned, “This is The Disciple?”

“Have we met before?” The old man asked, turning to Kaz and Y/N. She smiled and nodded, “Yes, in your room just now.” She placed a kind hand on his shoulder.

“And I met your wife,” Kaz said. “In Bhez Ju. We had tea there.”

“Bhez Ju Museum.” The gray-haired man smiled, “The support beams are under every second section of the floor. The others creak. Important to know the secrets of a place.”

Kaz smiled, “Truly.”

Ohval spoke in her native tongue, “If anything happens to him, I will kill you all.”

Y/N shook her head and replied in the same language, “All we want is the Neshyenyer.”

“The Neshyenyer?” The Disciple questioned. “I stole it for her.” His wife tried to silence him kindly but he ignored her. “It was the last piece I stole before we decided I should retire.” This caught everyone’s attention. “Anyway, you couldn’t really call it stealing. It was hers, to begin with. She made it.”

“I’m sorry. Did you say she made it?” Jesper’s voice sounded. 

The old man hummed and rose from his wheelchair, walking the best he could over to his wife. “Hours of work. Prayers. And tears.” He brought his hand up to hold her face in fondness. “To fight the unkillable army created by the clock worker Kho.”

Toyla chuckled breathlessly, “Three days and night she fought the unstoppable soldiers. And when the last soldier fell, she laid the weapon. And it was named Neshyenyer. Relentless.” He slowly fell to one knee in a respectful bow. “We are honored to be in your presence, Sankta Neyar.” 

The rest of the Crows along with Zoya fell to one knee, bowing their heads in respect. The only one still standing was Kaz still waiting by the wheelchair.

Ohval turned back to her husband, “Come, my love. Let’s get you to bed.” She helped him back to his chair and turned to Kaz and Y/N. “This is our sanctuary. Where we can sleep peacefully. Not have to worry about thieves and bandits like you.”

“We’re not bandits.” Kaz’s voice was back to its usual rough sound.

“No one gets past the poison.” Ohval spoke again. “You’re just a child, really.”

Kaz lifted his shoulders in a slight shrug, “A child who understood your weakness.”

“Weakness.” She scoffed, “Four hundred years I’ve been alive. I’ve seen them all die. My family. All my loved ones.”

“Grisha always live far longer than any otkazat’sya and you know that. You’re setting yourself up for heartbreak all over again.” The Darkling's words echoed in Y/N’s head causing her to close her eyes tightly as she tried to fight off the still-fresh memory.

“Taken away from me by time. Hundreds of years I closed my heart, as if that was the solution to ending all pain. What a safe way to live.” Ohval looked out at the rest of the group. “What a small way, as well. You guard against pain. You guard against joy. But when you allow yourself to be blindsided by love…” She looked down at her husband with a soft smile, “Two worlds make a universe. He’s not my weakness. He’s my universe. And I will see him through his days. Sharing every moment…” Her eyes drifted towards Y/N. “Until he is part of the night sky.” She glanced between the Grisha and the Kerch man before turning back to her love. “What do I care about a blade?” She kissed his forehead and turned back to Kaz. “What do you care about a blade?”

“The Darkling has created an unkillable army made of shadow.” He felt Y/N stiffen beside him but didn’t turn to look at her. “Your sword is the only one sharp enough to cut them down.”

“That sounds like Ravka’s problem.” The Shu hummed. 

“You think he would be stopped by a line on a map?” Y/N asked. 

Ohval covered the old man’s ears and whispered harshly, “I think I can still kill you where you stand before you can blink.”

“Sankta Neyar, I have met the Sun Summoner who will take leadership in Ravka if the Darkling is gone.” Toyla stepped forward, “She is benevolent, and she is also Shu. She could be the living bridge between our two countries, but that can only happen if you grant us use of the blade.”

“Use of it?” Ohval asked. “All this just to borrow the blade?”

“All this just to protect your husband in his sleep?” Kaz countered. “We each fight for what matters most.” Y/N stared at the side of his face for a moment before she looked down with a soft smile.

“And on my life, I will make sure that it is returned to its rightful home,” Toyla vowed. “With you, Sankta Neyar.”

“Ohval. The last thing I need are… pilgrims crowding my gate.” She turned to her husband and placed her hand on his shoulder before telling the group of eight to leave. “Except for you, in the hat. I’ll give the blade to you.” She pointed at Jesper and then turned to Kaz, “Alone.”

He glared at her but did as told anyway and limped down the steps, following everyone else out. Y/N went after and past him when he stopped to talk to Jesper. She walked out and sat on the floor beside Zoya while she sat on a large stone. The inferni resting her head on the suli’s knee. Zoya ran her fingers through her hair, “You alright?”

Y/N didn’t answer right away, only hummed and then sighed. “I almost died.”

“Well, it wouldn’t have been the first time.”

“It’s sad that I can’t deny that.”

“It’s sad that you think that you can avoid my question.” Zoya placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “You don’t have to talk about it. But you’re not alone.”

“I may be in the situation… But I’ll be alright.”

Jesper stormed through the doors and handed the Neshyenyer to Inej and followed Wylan from where he took off. Everyone stood up and followed at a distance before the pair stopped and the smaller of the two jumped at the other. Y/N chuckled and looked to Toyla who turned back and smirked back. Zoya, Inej, Nina, and Toyla all walked in front of Kaz and Y/N as they passed the couple who couldn’t keep each other wrapped in a comforting, relieving embrace. 

“Everyone’s lost their mind.” Kaz voice was stiff and filled with annoyance as he looked away from the happy couple. 

Y/N cleared her throat, “We all did in there.” They both looked at each other for a moment, the tension in her shoulders leaving as she stared into his eyes before looking away back to the road in front of them.

“Maybe I did see something through the haze of the poison.” He paused in his steps inhaling deeply before turning to look at her again. “There are those who drown us and those who pull us out.”

Y/N felt her stomach grow warm as she heard his words as if they were something not to be spoken of. A secret he now chose to share with her. “Maybe I saw something too.”

“What did your toxin trip reveal to you?” He leaned closer on his cane, hardly noticeable but her sharp eyes caught it. The curiosity in his eyes. The same tiny spark of hope that she felt in her chest reflected in his eyes. But before she could give in and tell him what she saw in the hallucinations the Darkling’s voice echoed in her mind again. And instead of sharing and being open, taking the same step he did, the words that tumbled out of her mouth were the words that had been repeated to her all throughout her years at the Little Palace. 

“Hope is dangerous. Clouds your judgment.”

~*~*~*~

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[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Daughter of the Rain and Snow

Concept: Around ten years after the events of Crooked Kingdom, 25-year-old Captain Inej Ghafa frees Maya Olsen from a pleasure house in Ketterdam. Maya is looking for revenge against the man who put her in her position, a man who she knows nothing about except his name: Kaz Brekker.

Tags: @wraith--2 @lunarthecorvus @just2bubbly @real-fragments7 @cartoon-clifford @origami-butterfly @lady-a-stuff @thelibraryofalexandriastillburns @inej-ghafa-deserves-the-world @thatdelusionalnerd

If anyone wants to be added let me know :)

Content Warnings: in more general terms I want to remind people to be aware of the nature of Kaz and Inej's experiences and relationship since even if I'm not directly addressing these things they tend to be implicit in any writing about them, but specifically to this chapter there's ptsd references, anxiety, violence references, blood, wounds, and fear of losing loved ones

Note: Oh my goodness we only have the epilogue left to go... this is insane I can't believe we've reached the end

AO3 link: Daughter of the Rain and Snow - Chapter 145 - She_posts_nerdy_stuff - Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo [Archive of Our Own]

Chapter 144 - Kaz

At least the Crow Club was back in working order. Beyond that things weren’t looking at their best. Kaz knew from Anika and Pim’s reports that the damage was mostly repaired and they’d reopened the closed wing a few months ago, but he also knew from the income reports Yara had been sending him  that they’d taken a hit. Her projections looked sunnier for next month, but Kaz wasn’t feeling particularly confident. There was a nervous energy about the Slat when he walked in, still as rowdy as it usually was in these early hours of the morning but with a slightly frantic edge. Kaz had known his extended absence would take a toll, but he’d tried to keep in control of what he could. 

“I assume there are rumours going round about -”

“Your mysterious disappearance? Yeah,” said Anika, “We’re treading water trynna cover up for you being missing,”

“Anyone get wise?”

“To the fact you weren’t here or to what you were actually up to?”

Kaz shot her an unamused glare. Clearly he needed to stop telling Anika up to 50% of the truth, because she was getting too good at picking up what the rest of it was. 

“I don’t think so,” she said, “Not with any proof you weren’t around. Few people here and there are convinced you’re dead,”

That didn’t particularly surprise him.

“Any attempts at territory grabs since you last wrote?”

“Liddies are still riled up, but nothing new except a pretty hollow looking threat from Black Tips,”

Kaz sighed. They weren’t staying in Ketterdam for long, he’d have to get through work quickly and make a few choice appearances if he could spare the time.

As far as Kaz and Inej knew, the plan was for them to drop in on Jesper and Wylan for the afternoon, then go to the house overnight whilst Nina stayed on the Geldstradt. They didn’t have the space to have her at the house by the harbour - especially when Alyssa was staying with them too - and anyway she would only be kept up all night by Sadja. But apparently Jesper and Wylan had other plans, as soon as they were through the door it was all but a demand they at least stay there the first night. They’d even set up a room for Alyssa upstairs, so she was close if Inej or Sadja needed her.

“How are you feeling?” Kaz had asked, watching Inej’s hand find the railing on the porch of the Hendriks house.

“I’m fine,”

Kaz shook his head, looking down at Sadja.

“Once you can talk I’m going to teach you to shout at your Mama every time she says that,” he told her, gently readjusting the sling in hopes of helping her settle.

Nina laughed.

Sadja had done well on the boat, Kaz thought, for a stubborn two month old who had never travelled further than the Grand Palace until a couple of weeks ago, but she hadn’t slept well last night and still didn’t seem to be interested in sleeping now.

“Kaz, really,” said Inej, shaking her head, “I’m okay. I’m just tired,”

Kaz nodded, but he and Nina had shared a brief glance. Inej rang the doorbell and Sadja immediately jutted out her bottom lip in indignation; for a moment Kaz thought she was going to cry but she settled again, still looking a little grumpy. He readjusted his cane so that he could remain balanced whilst he offered her his finger, and once she’d acknowledged it he gently rubbed his hand up and down her tiny tummy.

“Do you not like doorbells, Sadja?”

“I think it’s quite normal for babies not to like loud noises, Kaz,” said Nina, peering over the sling, “You’re okay, aren’t you Sadja? You’re a brave little muffin,”

“Brave little muffin?” asked Kaz.

“Hey, that is just about the highest compliment I’ve ever given anyone,”

“Well, you are brave aren’t you Sadja? You’re just like your Mama,”

She wriggled a little in the sling, as though she was trying to look up at him properly, and smiled. Kaz glowed. 

The door had barely been opened when they were met by the practically shouted words:

“Where’s my niece?”

“Well, hello to you too, Jesper,” said Inej, sharing his soft laugh.

She leaned into the arm he offered and he kissed her on the cheek, ushering her over the doorstep. Kaz followed, nodding at Jesper.

“Saints, I’ve missed you,” said Jesper, hugging Inej again.

“Oh, I’ve missed you too,”

Nina cleared her throat, glaring teasingly at Jesper. He threw an arm around her shoulders.

“I’ve missed you too, darling, obviously. And I guess I missed you Kaz,”

“Always with the compliments,”

Where’s Wylan?” asked Inej.

“Couldn’t get out of a meeting,” Jesper replied, shaking his head, “He won’t be long. Now, where’s this little Sadja you’ve been withholding from me?”

“Withholding-? She’s only been alive two months - and you were in Novyi Zem for one and a half of them,”

“Withholding,” Jesper repeated

Inej laughed. Kaz gently scooped Sadja out of her sling and into his arms, rocking her for a moment before he passed her to Inej so Jesper could lean over and greet her. He looked like he was about to burst with glee.

“Oh my goodness, you two she’s so beautiful. Aren’t you? Yes you are, yes you are,”

Jesper looked up at Kaz and Inej, grinning.

“She’s wonderful,”

“She most certainly is,” Kaz smiled, pushing the door to behind him before they walked together towards the living room, “It’s good to see you, Jes,”

“You too. And honestly you with a baby is quite possibly both the funniest and cutest thing I have ever seen, so thank you for that,”

Nina snorted. Kaz glared at them both. 

“And how are you?” Jesper had asked Inej, as they sat on the sofa together.

It was about twenty minutes later and Wylan had just got back, all apologies for being late and overjoyed to see them all again. He was now sitting in between Inej and Kiada with Sadja in his arms, smiling.

“Well, I haven’t slept in about two months,” Inej smiled, leaning her head onto Jesper’s shoulder, “But other than that I’m doing pretty well. How are you? - How was Novyi Zem?”

“I’m good, we’re all pretty good at the minute, actually. And Novyi Zem was lovely, good to see my Da, and everyone did a very good job,” he squeezed Aimee’s hand lightly, from where she was perching on the arm of the sofa next to him, “There were a few moments where we thought we’d have to come home early - that was always in the plan as an option, if anyone needed it - but we ended up staying the whole time,”

“How’s Colm?” asked Nina, leaning forwards to pick her coffee up from the table.

The conversation floated on, and Kaz had drifted in and out of paying attention to it as he kept his eyes on Sadja. She started wriggling uncomfortably and Wylan passed her back to Inej, then a moment passed before she started crying. 

“Is she alright?” asked Kaz.

“She’s just hungry,” said Inej, looking at Kaz in a way that meant calm down, she’s a baby, she’s going to cry, you do not need to worry as she stood up and gently rocked Sadja against her chest, whispering to her in Suli, “I’ll take her upstairs,”

At some point, Kaz wasn’t exactly sure how long it had been, it was only him, Nina, and Jesper still sitting in the living room. Focus had switched freely: the trip to Novyi Zem - two weeks with Colm followed by a month and a half through in Weddle and Shriftport, then another two weeks with Colm - Kiada had struggled with the boat, Aimee had struggled on the farm, Kiada has struggled in Weddle; news on the Ravkans and their new little prince and princess, twins about three months older than Sadja; Clemmie Boscht had started renting an apartment in the city and came to the house to share roast dinner with the family once a month; updates on something Kaz had forgotten to pay attention to as he was wondering how long Inej and Sadja had been gone and if he should go upstairs to find them. Now Nina was asking about wedding plans - the original date should have been last month, but it hadn’t been set in stone when Kaz and Inej first went to Ravka so Jesper and Wylan had decided to postpone and visit Jesper’s father instead of him coming out to them. 

“Doesn’t matter,” Jesper was saying, “Nothing will ever make up for the fact that Kaz Brekker got married before I did,”

Nina flopped against the back cushions of the sofa.

“Yeah, it’s a real blow to the ego isn’t it?”

“Aren’t you two just the height of comedy?” said Kaz drily.

“To be fair, Jes,” Nina added, “I think we were all surprised you weren’t the first to get married. I mean how long had you two known each other before you moved in, two months?”

“No, well I really only joke,” said Jesper, glancing briefly at the door and lowering his voice, “Wylan told me ages ago he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to get married, after everything with his parents he just kinda… lost faith in it,”

Jesper had told Kaz about it at the time. It was years ago, around the time of the Van Eck trial, and Wylan was having an unsurprisingly bad time of it. He said he’d burst into tears and told Jesper that it had been evil of him to trap him in a relationship that would never go anywhere, and that he could leave if he wanted to and Wylan would understand. Apparently Jesper had stared at him for almost a full minute, and then said:

“Wy, you’re seventeen,”

“Well, clearly,” Kaz had said, “You handled that well,”

“I helped him afterwards!” Jepser had cried defensively, “That was just my first thought,”

Now Kaz sat behind his desk at the Slat, flicking through the endless pile of papers laying in wait and watching the hands move on his timepiece. Almost five bells. He wanted to be back by six.

Sadja had woken up not long before three bells, screaming loud enough to bring the entire house down. Kaz fumbled in the dark, searching for his cane, before Inej turned on the gas lights and handed it to him, smiling and shaking her head. They sat next to each other on the side of the mattress as Sadja nursed, and for about half an hour afterwards Kaz was still rocking her slowly whilst Inej lowered the lights and lay back down. Sadja seemed on the verge of settling back to sleep and Kaz stood to return her to the cradle next to the bed, only for her to immediately start wailing again.

“Well I hope you’re not still hungry,” he said softly in Suli, giving her a gente bounce “I think Mama’s asleep,”

She flailed one of her tiny fists into the air and it whacked lightly against Kaz’s chest.

“Not bad form,” he told her, “But you need more strength behind it if you want to do real damage. We’ll work on that when you’re older. What can we do to help you sleep now though, hm?”

Sadja wriggled in his arm and Kaz moved to sit on one of the armchairs so he could set down his cane and support her more comfortably. 

“I don’t have anything new to read to you,” he said, “But I could tell you a story if you’d like,”

There was a pause broken only by Sadja’s impatient cries, before Inej’s soft voice came from the darkness on the other side of the room:

“You know the whole idea of us using one language each with her whilst she's still learning kind of depends on you speaking to her in Kerch, right?”

Kaz looked up.

“Inej? I thought you were asleep,”

“Kaz, if you think anyone could fall asleep through this then I have serious concerns about your hearing. And, again, you’re supposed to speak in Kerch,”

“I’m still not convinced that’s going to work,” he replied, “Isn’t she just going to hear us using both with each other anyway?”

Inej groaned.

“It’s three in the morning, Kaz, can we talk about this later?”

He laughed softly, nodding though he wasn’t sure if she’d see in the dark. He’d known that he needed to go to the Slat - the last word from Anika and Pim had been concerningly vague -  but he could stay here a little while yet, couldn’t he? What harm would it do, just to stay here for a little longer? He sighed.

“You need to go, don’t you?”

He didn’t know how she did that.

“It can wait until tomorrow,”

“You can’t,” said Inej, quietly, “Go on. I’ll get her settled, just don’t be long, okay?”

“Never,”

He really needed to stop watching the clock, or he wouldn’t get anything done and have to bully himself into staying longer. It was a good while past five bells when he left, ignoring the shouts for attention that followed him from the crowd. The Hendriks house was mostly still sleeping, though Wylan was unsurprisingly up and in the kitchen making coffee by the time Kaz arrived at six bells. Inej was awake but she was still upstairs, not long dressed and part way through brushing her hair when Kaz knocked softly on the door. She opened it slowly, pressing a finger to her lips as he slipped inside.

“Sadja’s asleep,”

Kaz stood over the cradle for a moment, watching her. She really was perfect. Inej appeared next to him, her arm slipping around his waist once he’d nodded confirmation. She leaned her head against his shoulder.

“She already looks like you,” she whispered.

Kaz shook his head.

“She’s beautiful. That’s all you,”

Inej shook her head then, her hand finding his and slipping beneath the rim so her fingers brushed his wrist. Kaz’s heart leapt, thinking of holding her on the floor almost a year ago, a knife in her gut and her blood soaking over both of them. He swallowed and she felt him tense, starting to pull away to give him space. His fingers tightened over hers, holding her to him. 

“We’ve not…” she hesitated, “We’ve not talked about a plan for where to live. For what to do next,”

Kaz had been avoiding the conversation, because he didn’t actually know what he was going to say. But it was a year ago when he couldn’t tell her everything he’d thought he should be able to say by now - 

Their happiness, together. In Kerch, in Ravka, they could move to the permafrost in Fjerda for all he cared. He would carve a life for her in the face of a mountain, if that was what she wanted.

- and so much had changed since then. He should be able to tell her that now. And he did.

Inej turned and leaned her face up towards his, glowing in the soft dancing light of dawn leaking through the window, her dark eyes shimmering. She lifted a hand up to cup his cheek, and slowly they leaned into each other. Their foreheads pressed against each other, Kaz’s hand slipped down Inej’s back, and their lips met in the warmth of spring and joy and a family that for so long Kaz had convinced himself he didn’t want, because he never thought he’d be able to find it. 

The entire world was golden.

[not-a-big-slay]

Cruel summer

Kaz Brekker x gn!reader

I'm drunk in the back of the car

And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar

Said, "I'm fine, " but it wasn't true

I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you

And I snuck in through the garden gate

Every night that summer just to seal my fate

And I screamed for whatever it's worth

"I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?"

summary: it was always complicated with him, but when alcohol starts to question your situationship, you decide to let it all out...

warnings: alcohol, drunk confession, mentions of blood (non- violent)

a/n: did you know im obssesed with writing fics to taylor's songs? anyways, i had this idea on a long car ride, listening to this song and i wanted to write this for the longest time. its super similar to my fic jigsaw, but what can i say, im a sucker for drunk confessions. i made it gender neutral, so its told like "you did this" ,"he looked at you" etc. also, why tf did i think that gn reader means goodnight and that it means something similar like SFW. my first post in 2023, enjoy :)

Your blinking was slower and slower, eyes focusing on your floppy feet that tried to gain balance with every step. You thought you did a good job with not falling, thinking of it as a miracle, yet you entirely ignored the gentle force on your hip, navigating you outside. "When you said we should get a drink, I thought of one, not...several" Jesper with his hand on your side stopped mid-sentence, thinking about the number of drinks you talked him in to, but failed due to his own drunk self. His voice had a surprising echo, and you soon realised so did the other noise around you. Strangers' laughs entered your ears repeatedly, as if they were worried you wouldn't hear them the first time, horses' hooves stepped in front of you and their impact with the stone ground rang like church bells at midnight.

You were so taken by the magic sound that you didn't process Jesper pushing you up into some dark room and almost didn't feel the smooth hands pulling you in. Unwillingly, you fell down, but luckily sat on something soft. You noticed Jesper sitting down next to you and in a moment you were on the move. Oh, carriage, you thought. You adjusted your eyes and looked at the person in front of you, noticing the familiar long straight hair. You smiled and mumbled: "Hi, Inej.". She smiled a little at your drunken face, but was quickly filled with concern. "Whose great idea this was? I swear only you two could get this wasted." she sighed and her hands reached under her, pulling out two bottles.

"Thank you." said proudly Jesper and Inej rolled her eyes. Excitment filled you upon seeing her hands streching to you with the bottle grasped between. You accepted it and brought it to your lips, thinking of the bittersweet taste you drank at the bar, but it was dissapointing when your mouth tasted the cold blunt liquid. Water. You closed the bottle, setting it next to you and said to Inej: "You wouldn't be mad if you were with us. That's on you."

"You should be thankful that I'm even here at this hour." she toughened her voice, but didn't raise it. She knew it was enough to woke up some sense in you. When you two were silent, she continued: "So? Which one of you idiots had this idea?". Jesper didn't speak, however his eyes did when they shot at you. A few hours ago, you met him outside on his regular night door-watching and convinced him- very easily- to grab a drink with you. You needed a distraction in the chaos surrounding you. After a while of trying to shake their gaze off you, you sighed in defeat. "Fine," you exclaimed, "it was me. I just needed to clear my head, and hang out with Jesper, it's been far too long." you crossed your arms and winked at the boy beside you, but a scoff from Inej made you look at her. "Please, we see each other all the time, even Wylan is getting sick of him." she spoke truly, watching Jesper getting offended, but redirected her eyes on you.

She knew of your situation, how could she not when she's almost invisible and nosy. You and Kaz were far over inconspicuous looks and light touches, but boldly flirting at any moment. It wasn't Jesper's style of flirting, but just fearless remarks or answers that made you blush and fastened your heart. It also threw you into overthinking and uncernity of your bond with him. Sometimes it made you think the flirting covers more serious feelings, but often it sang with a friendly banter. It drove you crazy, took many hours of your sleep, and you knew it wouldn't matter if your stupid heart didn't fall for him. When you witnessed Wylan and Jesper's cat fight, you thought it was obvious for both of them that they like each other and they just were afraid to make the first move- even though that didn't go as planned, according to Jesper- or just enjoyed their wordplay. Now you weren't so sure, but you refused to ask the sharpshooter. He would only make fun of you or wouldn't take it seriously. "You seriously fell for him? This must be a dream" you already heard him say and his laugh caused goosebumps on your skin.

"I'm fine." you told her slowly, trying to convince her of your lie and subconciously wrapped your coat over you. Before visiting Jesper, Kaz stopped you in the hallways and was interested in your way outside. "I just thought of getting a drink with Jes." you said and quickly added "or anyone that would like to join." after realizing the Zemeni boy is supposed to be working. He didn't seem fazed by your answer though, probably used to Jesper disobeying orders, and just nodded in understandment. You weren't in the mood to talk to him, the redness in your eyes caused by your regular overthinking was still visible and you wished he would fail to take notice, so you smiled at him and continued your way down, then he stopped you with your biggest weakness.

Him saying your name.

You turned to look at him and noticed his reached out hand holding a coat. You realized you forgot yours in the bedroom when you went to complete the idea of getting drunk. You took it carefully, as though it was a bomb sensitive to touch. You put it on and thanked him shortly, trying to get down the stairs with your shaky legs.

No, you weren't fine.

Inej seemed dissatisfied with your answer, but didn't push. You smelled the scent again, the same thing that made you ordering shots. The smell of leather, gunpowder and his perfume. If the world ever ran out of oxygen, you were sure this would keep your heartbeat going. You wanted this scent to cover you, to soak in your skin and to flow side by side with your blood. Maybe that was the alcohol, but you needed this to happen, right away if possible.

A plan started to form in your mind as the carriage came to a stop and Inej helped you out. She grabbed your hand and placed it over her as she placed her other hand over your hip on the stomach, making her way into the Slat. Jesper walked along, he wasn't as wasted as you and capable of getting in his bed. Once inside, you wished goodnight to him quietly, wondering why Inej beside you flinched and every person still up looked at you weirdly.

When you were upstairs, you stopped Inej before Kaz's door. She looked at you and then in the direction you stared intesively in. "This isn't your room." she explained and tried to continue walking, but you stayed glued on the floor. "I need to do this." you mumbled and looked at her as if she knew what you were talking about.

She sighed: "Can't you do it tommorow? Sober?". You just shook your head. Tommorow you would be fully aware of everything and probably would talk yourself out of it, while right now, you wouldn't feel the consequences fully and could say what you truly feel. Inej stood silent for a moment, thinking whether she should let you fuck up or violently get you to bed. Joy filled you when she just sighed loudly and whispered "whatever" to herself. You waved her and she returned that action in a form of shaking her head and a frown. You took a deep breath and brougth your fist up.

After knocking and regaining balance because of the knocking, the door gradually let you see inside. Soon you were looking at the face of the man you cried for, all confused. "What are you doing here?" he said, but didn't stop you when you pushed passed him to get inside. You needed to cover your tears that already, without saying a single word, treatened to show. You wondered if you could do this. "Are you hurt?" he asked, obviously concerned. He's right to assume this, not every day someone knocks late at night, eager to get in.

"Yes." you admitted and turned to him. He noticed your tired eyes and a fazed out expression. "You're drunk." he observed, his tone did not sound angry or dissapointed, you could only hear the concern he was filled with and that was slowly tearing your heart apart.

"That's irrelevant" you waved your hand, blowing the fact away, so it wouldn't get in your way when talking. He leaned back on his table, supporting himself with his hands and streched out his bad leg: "Of course it is.". You hated this position, it made your knees weak. "What's important is who hurt you." he explained again. You giggled silently, shaking your head, and looked down. His protective trait was one of your favorites. It either made you feel loved or mocked, but right now you felt none of those options. After a moment you looked up.

"Guess."

Kaz sighed: "Y/N, I won't play some stupid game when you're in pain." His annoyance could be heard in the Crow Club and yours could be more visible than your drunkeness. "I'm fine!" you said harshly immidiately after him, "Now guess.". He sighed again after your repetetive plea. He studied you for some time, giving in on your request. "Come on, it's not that hard." you cheered him on, "I supposed someone like you would get it easily.". He can improvise based on little clues about a person, guess and threaten them with their secret he only assumed they had, yet he cannot see his own damage.

You growled impatiently. "Forget it, of course you wouldn't know, you don't even know what you want!" you yelled and started to walk around, surprisingly stable. What you said though wasn't true. You knew what you wanted and still didn't do anything to get it. You were both at fault for your pain and cries, it wasn't fair pinning it on him. Kaz calmly watched you go a few rounds around his room and waited 'till you slow down. "Go to sleep." he said when you finally stopped due to tears announcing their arrival. "No." you whispered, not knowing if it's to him or to your watery eyes. He still spoke: "You're wasted."

"Yet I'm still aware of my feelings! Whiskey didn't help, unfortunetly!"

Concern filled his eyes again upon seeing the tears drowning your eyes. His back straightened, but he didn't step closer to you. You laughed and allowed yourself to cry. Hands wrapped you tightly into Kaz's coat. "I love you, you prat!"

A thing about you when you're drunk is that sometimes, you say things you only think about, without even realizing it. The two of you were taken aback at the same time. Your eyes widened, making eye contact, both of you couldn't believe what you just heard. You were the first to react and laughed, bending forward and back. You looked at him again, a small smile on your face while your gaze took in every detail.

"If this ain't the worst thing you've ever heard." you said. Exhaustion creeped up on you, you knew that sooner or later you will fall asleep, no matter where you are. Kaz was looking down, his expression unreadable. You blinked slowly for a moment, trying to fight the fatigue. It was harder than closing them, but you managed to open your eyes and glanced back at the man, also looking like he fell asleep on the spot. You watched him, mouth opening to say something, when you spotted it.

A smile.

No, a grin. A wide, evil grin appeared on the cold, numb face. Fear suddenly rushed into you. You saw Kaz smile just once and it was before he violently murdered someone. Not a good sign, you thought. Any courage of saying words was gone, you just waited what he will do next. It was like watching a deadly animal, just standing in front of you while you tried not to disturb it. You almost flinched when he looked up, his grin smaller than before yet still shameless. You held your breath, afraid to trigger something invisible in the air, and waited for his voice to reach your ears.

"You should go to sleep."

There it was, the goal of your plan, the dream of your longest nights. You exhaled, surprised but relieved. Eyes found his and you could read him like an open book, finding the mutual feeling you longed for a long time. You smiled and nodded at his words, but when adrenaline left you, the exhaustion filled you completely. You fell back onto his bed, unaware it was there in the first place. He walked over to you, so close you could see the real details on the cane, and gently lifted up your head by the chin. Your eyes were closing, all of your power tried to keep them open. You decided it was time to stop Kaz from studying your dozed off face.

"Can I sleep here?" you weren't sure if you would made it back to your room now, so without waiting for the answer, you laid back and closed your eyes. You heard Kaz walking and a chair shifting. His scent was all around you, sinking into your skin, hopefully flowing in your veins by now. You grabbed the coat and squeezed it onto yourself tightly. Kaz's wide grin was the last thing on your mind before falling asleep.

‎

He looks up grinning like the devil.

[aphroditestummyrolls]

between hope and desperation <333

Hi anon ❤️❤️❤️

Here’s the little bit before the last snippet I posted today 😂 yes, I am writing this scene out of order.

Getting caught was much less fun than running from danger.

It felt like hours— no, days— since he’d woken up with his pounding head laying on the dirt floor of this saintsforesaken place. Since then, things had only gotten worse, and then when he thought it was done getting worse, the saints did it again just to spite him. Even without the concussion, the drugs, or the rough handling in between, Jesper was sure he’d still feel just as bad as he did right then.

They had been bound up in somebody’s dusty old cellar. Pekka Rollins was out of Hellgate. Wylan was…

Wylan is still Wylan. He reminded himself, licking his chapped lips and willing the leftover sting of resentment to fade. You can talk about it once you’re home safe.

Unless his dad— the most powerful merch in all Ketterdam— kills us first. The voice was practically screaming, shrill as an alarm bell, and panic reared itself up for another terrible few seconds. Jes couldn’t quite choke it down.

Letting go of the fingers in his hand for a moment, he squinted down into the darkness between his wrists. There was only vaguely more than a silhouette there, but he fumbled to grab the chain yet again. To feel for flaws in the metal. To see if they would have to place their bets on Kaz.

Each link in the chain of his shackles felt somehow thicker and stronger than the last time he inspected it. The iron was solid, the seams of each chain welded sturdily. Even the thinnest little parts— the delicate lock inside the keyhole, and the little rings on the inside of his wrists that joined the cuffs to the chain— felt like they’d been well-crafted.

This was no stupid staadwatch-issue prop. This was a quality piece of metalwork paid for by a rich man— the type of man who prays to Ghezen in the daylight, and moonlights trying to murder his own son.

Jesper gave up on his inspection again. It was no use trying to fabrikate them out of here— maybe if Jesper was trained from childhood, he could. Maybe, if he wasn’t fumbling his way through clandestine lessons with a secret grisha jeweler, and could go to a true teacher instead. Maybe, if he was more like his mother, he could get out of these shackles and save them.

But even Jesper knew that was a bad bet. He was a bad bet. It was fine, anyway. Kaz would come. Kaz wouldn’t leave him like this. He had to put his money on Dirtyhands yet again. He hasn’t let me down yet.

If he knows we’re even gone.

He scooped up Wylan’s fingers again, cradling as much of his boyfriend’s hands as he could reach. He held them as tight as he dared.

They’d be fine.

Thanks for playing! ❤️

[19burstraat]

six of crows x the locked tomb au concept?

I feel like this is a fairly narrow crossover area but I've been obsessed with both lately and I wanted to throw shit at the wall and see what sticks. Pretty sure there's no Nona spoilers, since it's a crossover AU. I don't know how many people have read both of these series but to hell with it someone must have done lmao. This is less plot and more concept but anyway

Kaz (the Ninth, for the tomb and all that was lost, Heretical Secrets, The Sewn Tongue. The Reverend Son out of We Have No Young People Left process of elimination.)

If Kaz is going to be any house it's got to be the freaks with the elaborate black costumes and the constructs that have no flesh on them (lucky for Kaz...), that tell people fuck all about anything and have scary customs.

Jordie died in the pursuit of lyctorhood; @bloodbroox just suggested to me that he could have been talked into being Pekka's cav without knowing what he was getting into, and then was killed and consumed so Pekka could ascend, so Kaz is now out to get up to that fucking Mithraeum and kill Pekka himself.

I imagine Kaz has a very similar backstory to the one in the books, since it's not like there's a shortage of corpses in this series hh. Probably tried to save Jordie and got left in the aftermath with his corpse and many, many others. I wonder if I could pull in a very literal appearance of the River... maybe Kaz interfered and briefly got stuck in the River (i.e. nearly died) before he clawed back out, out of sheer insane willpower.

(Yes you can tell I don't entirely understand the more scientific aspects of TLT just go w it lmao)

No one dares to point out to Kaz that some rando with no necromatic skill cannot kill a Lyctor, because they're worried he might acc find a way. He's literally only a badly trained cav, but he's... determined. By the time everyone else works out he's the one to get rid of it's too late.

(Matthias, Kuwei and Inej, well trained and courteous cavs, are eventually horrified to find out how Kaz fights lmao.)

I'm not sure how he'd have broken his leg but there's a lot of perilous bits on the Ninth. Maybe training. It just makes his cover better though. How could he be the cav, he's clearly the necro...

No he's not. He's being covered for by...

Jesper (the Fourth, fidelity, facing ahead, The Hope, The Sword Ninth)

Jesper escaped from the Fourth because he and his dad didn't want him to get sent onto the battlefield to be a living weapon and then die, like most Fourth house kids. He got caught, and got thrown into the Ninth house jail. He emphatically insists he is not a necromancer. Yes he is.

Kaz springs Jesper from the Ninth jail and makes a deal with him; they'll swap. Kaz isn't a necromancer and Jesper is, but Kaz will pretend to be the necro, Jesper will pretend to be the cav, and they both get what they want-- Jesper can be a cavalier and be free from jail/the Fourth, and Kaz can get out of the Ninth and into the scrum of attempted lyctorhood to hitch a ride somehow.

(Except they don't. because Jesper flat-out refuses to kill Kaz and ascend and Kaz is hysterically furious, because his original plan was to basically trick Jesper into doing it wrong and seize control of his body, but he got attached and abandoned that plan and now doesn't know what to do. Having said that, if anyone could figure out perfect lyctorhood, it would be Kaz... Hope you want brown eyes Jesper.)

Yes his offhand is a revolver lmao

Inej (the Fifth-- tradition and debts to the dead, the Heart, the Watchers over the River.)

Cavalier, ofc, very very dutiful to her necromancer (one of her saints in the books??? Alina? Petyr? idk.) We don't know a whole lot about the Fifth but they seem (SEEM.) the most well adjusted of the lot, instead of the fucking balls to walls crazy Eight and Ninth lmao. I considered making her Kaz's cav but the idea made me want to throw up and lie down for ten hours, also the Jesper one is a bit more out there, and I refuse to give Kaz that much power lmao he needs to be a normal man he'd be too much of a menace with any kind of magic

Respectful of the Ninth and their weirdo monks until Kaz and Jesper open their mouths and reveal that not only do they talk, that they are also really really annoying and heretical

She works out very quickly that Kaz and Jesper are running a con and gets roped into it lol

Again I refuse to eliminate her backstory so it's gotta be in there somewhere, though I haven't worked out how yet. Perhaps she wasn't always part of the Fifth House, and was under Tante Heleen's thumb off-world...

Nina (the Third, for the gleam of a jewel or a smile, The Mouth, The Procession, The Shining Dead. Princess of Ida.)

But of course. The house that looks frivolous but is a deep well of backstabbing politics and intelligence.

Necro with a particular talent for flesh magic, which obviously is very close to her canon power. Not sure who her cav would be tho...?

Kaz hates her for all of those reasons and she makes a sport out of winding up the little uptight Ninth weirdo

But it's not as fun as flirting with...

Matthias (the Second, discipline, heedless of trial, The Strength, The Crimson Shield)

Second sounds like the Druskelle, no? Matthias is def a carefully trained cavalier, I would suggest Jarl Brum is his necro. Until he gets either killed or disposed of before he can kill Matthias and ascend...

Unless he DOES do that, and we keep Matthias dead in every universe. Sorry Nina. You and Kaz now have a common goal which is Get To The Bastards In The Sky And Kill Them.

Wylan (the Sixth, for the truth over solace in lies, the Reason.)

Genius little kid like Palamedes ig! I can see him being more into the theory than the practice and then, like canon, being underestimated. like a lot of the Sixth. Jesper def thinks he's nothing special until... he is.

I did consider putting Kaz in the Sixth soley for the truth over solace in lies but ultimately Kaz belongs in the horrible places like the Ninth and the Barrel, not the civilised academic environments like the Sixth and the merch Districts. Sorry bud. Another life.

No one really knows in the Sixth that Wylan can't read, bc he covers it up so well, but Van Eck threatens to expose it so he legs it to the Lyctor Convention <3

Kuwei can be Wylan's cavalier? Might explain the Jesper beef more lmao if Jesper is also a supposed cav trying to curry favour with Kuwei's necro, Wylan, rather than 'his necro', Kaz

(Giada also suggested that Alina can be Alecto and the Darkling can be John tho I'm not going all the way there other than to say Kaz Would Definitely Open The Tomb Because The Darkling Said Not To because he's an evil little git and also fatefully nosey and possibly bc Inej asked. And a lockpick. why would I put him in the place with the locked tomb without expecting the funniest possible outcome. also that would def make Zoya one of the OG lyctors a-la Mercymorn! Probably Genya and David too)

[averrse]

some s2 thoughts~

note: i watched the whole season in one day after also watching the kaz parts of s1 (also known as 12 hours of sab in a row) so i don't know i might have forgotten some things. also i'm aro af, and the amount of romance in this show makes me feel weird, so if i seem like a hater about most of the ships, it's only because i am (but no hard feelings to anyone!)

also this is almost 100% about kaz because while i respect that there are other characters in the show, i have not a lot to say about them except in relation to kaz.

...

wesper got in the way of kaz and jesper having more of their weird friendship moments and i'm bitter about it because i'm a hater. but i did like every scrap they did throw me... especially jesper's little monologue about how much they care about each other and kaz agreeing with 99% of it god bless they are a version of sunshine/grumpy that i do really love

kaz and nina had some GOLD interactions and i'm so happy about it. the way he kept making it clear she's part of the crows now? the way he seems baffled by the fact she can just talk to people and they like her? WAFFLES?* every time they say words to each other i am transfixed.

*i need everyone to know how much i enjoy fake dating (or marriage in this case) when the two people are TRULY not interested in each other that way

also kaz appreciating the poetry toyla was reciting. it reminded me of how kaz dresses like the merchers instead of being flamboyant. he Does Not want to come across as a farmboy orphan, and i feel like being that familiar with poetry is related to that.

i'll get back to kaz and inej i have a lot to say, but. in general, i think their relationship was handled well and i do mostly like it, i just kind of wish it were platonic.

kaz blowing up the club a++++++ no notes

truly did enjoy kaz being unhinged about pekka. i appreciate kaz's bad side more than i probably should.

also appreciated that, while kaz had some little moments of vulnerability with the people he cares about, it was very clear that he has a lot of mental health consequences because of it. he loves his friends so damn much, and it is So Difficult for him.

i don't know if the show was... actually doing anything with this (since most of what the darkling did was sulk under a chandelier this season) but i do like the parallel of kaz keeping people around him who DON'T unquestioningly do whatever he says--and i think that's in part because he knows he could veer into actual evil if he didn't--while the darkling doesn't trust anyone enough to listen to any criticism.

it is so funny to me whenever the crows show up in these high magic situations and they are SO unequipped for it but they just kinda manage anyway.

okay now i'm going to do a whole thing about kaz and inej now

things i liked:

they didn't kiss or touch much.

inej realizing that the moment with kaz was a hallucination because he was functioning like a normal human.

i didn't feel like the narrative was telling us that she's supposed to fix him.

BUT they still do look after each other.

kaz walking toward her after the battle in the last episode, then jesper running out to hug her. my emotions.

things i didn't like:

him getting angry at her for not being there during his pekka revenge was weird to me, especially given that he kept telling her to leave over and over through the season. i could go with this conflict but i didn't feel like it developed in a way that worked for me.

the last scene between them for so many reasons god i hated it. first of all, i don't like that he grabbed her. i don't like that he tried to convince her to stay instead of looking for her family. i thought one of the character arcs for him was that he was respecting her need to look for her family, then it got thrown away at the end? i didn't get it.

second, as someone who also has extreme touch aversion connected to ptsd, i thought her line about his armor was actually offensive? if she'd made it about his withholding information from her and not expressing his emotions properly, that would've been FINE. but she made it about the fact he has trouble touching people. from experience, i can ASSURE you that's not something he can control. i just found that totally out of character for inej, who generally understands him pretty well.

and ANYWAY, couldn't she just have left because she needed to do this for herself and not make it into some kind of "break up" situation. they are friends FIRST, in my opinion, and he could've just respected that she needs to do this like he needed his revenge. if they wanted to show that, yes, he's still not the greatest person... he could've just gotten quiet about her leaving or even done some light guilt tripping about leaving the others behind.

a;sdlfkj okay i think that's all i have to say right now.

[rubysunnday]

rule the world

A/N: This fic was written for my beautiful friend, Olive's (@lxncelot) , writing challenge! After much deliberation and procrastination whereby I spent an hour listening to the songs on her song prompt list, I finally decided upon some prompts... And ended up writing three entirely different fics for them. This is 1 out of 3...

Prompts (all from Olive's dialogue and song prompt list) : 5) “I knew it would end, just… not like this.” | 6) “Tell me about the stars.” | 9) “There’s no turning back, now. | 19“)I want you to be happy. Whatever that means.” | 35) “I don’t want to talk about it.” / “No one ever does, but we do it anyway.” | everybody wants to rule the world — tears for fears

Fic 1 | Fic 2 | Fic 3

Y/N was lying on a stone. She could feel it digging into her forearm and it was beginning to hurt. But she didn't dare move. Not when Kaz was lying on his stomach, not even a foot away. They were so close that if Y/N shifted to the right to remove the stone, she'd brush against his shoulder and ruin the comfortable silence they'd fallen into.

It was all Jesper's fault. In all fairness, a lot of things were Jesper's fault, but the fact that Y/N was spending the next five hours on a stakeout with Kaz and not Inej was definitely Jesper's fault.

'Let's pick names out of a hat', Jesper had said cheerfully, brandishing his hat.

Of course, Y/N had picked Kaz. Kaz hadn't looked too thrilled at the prospect but they'd fallen into a quiet rhythm that meant lying in silence, a pair of binoculars in between them.

"You're a better stakeout partner than Jesper."

Y/N jumped at Kaz's rough voice breaking the silence. "Eh? Why?"

"Why do you think," Kaz drawled, raising his eyebrow as he turned to look at Y/N. "He talks far too much, can't keep still for longer than two minutes and never seems to pay any attention to the target." Kaz turned back to face the front. "You can move that stone, you know."

Y/N cursed silently, leaning to the right, her shoulder brushing the fabric of Kaz'd coat as she flicked the stone out from under her arm.

"Better?"

"Shut up, Kaz."

Kaz's lips quirked up into a smile for a moment. He reached over and picked up the binoculars again, looking through them. "Now, why is Petrov pacing up and down in front of his gates at this time of night?"

"Waiting for someone?"

"That was rhetorical, Y/N, darling."

"Of course it was," Y/N muttered, sighing. She rested her chin against her crossed arms, barely able to see anything through the dark of night - not to mention the giant green bush in front of her.

"Oh, hello." Kaz shuffled forward, his foot tapping Y/N's to get her attention. "We have movement."

Y/N leant closer to Kaz, looking around the bush. "That's an expensive-looking carriage."

"It is indeed," Kaz replied, handing the binoculars to Y/N.

Y/N took them, her fingers brushing against his gloved ones for a moment. "Oh, Saints, that's Madame Orlova."

"I suspected as much," Kaz said, his tone dark. "I noticed the lotus embossed on the side of the carriage.

Y/N watched as Madame Orlova stepped out of the carriage, her dark blue cloak swishing around her as she turned back to look at the occupants of the carriage.

Two girls, only a few years younger than Inej and Y/N, stepped out, wearing pink and white silks, their hair piled on top of their heads with a lotus pin sticking out the top. it didn't take a genius to work out why they were there.

"Kaz, please tell me we're not just going to sit here whilst this happens."

Kaz was silent for a moment. Y/N turned and looked at him, taking stock of his scheming face - eyebrows pulled together, eyes narrowed slightly.

"There are four men guarding the house - the rest of the staff have the night off. Including Petrov, Madame Orlova and the two girls, that's eight people. The guards should be easy enough - take the first two down at the door, the second two down as they guard the bedroom. Madame Orlova... she'll be trickier but one good knock to the head and she's out."

"Petrov? He was a prizefighter."

Kaz turned to look at her, his eyes dark. "How many bullets do you have?"

"Enough."

"One good shot to the head. That's all he needs."

"I thought we needed him for information?"

"No, no, no. That's what Inej and Jesper are doing. I just wanted to see if Petrov was as disgusting as the streets were saying he is," Kaz replied, shrugging. "There isn't actually much point to us sitting here other than to make sure Petrov didn't leave for his warehouse."

Y/N sighed, dropping her head. "I hate it when you do that."

"Everyone does, I'm used to it," Kaz said, smirking. He pushed himself to his knees, wincing slightly. "Now, come along, darling Y/N, I do believe there's a Madame you'd like to fight."

The first two guards had been easy to take down. All it took was for Kaz and Y/N to sneak up behind them, whack them around the head with their respective weapons, and then step over their unconscious bodies.

They'd moved with surprising efficiency - perfectly in sync with one another. It was almost creepy.

"Promise me you won't go in guns blazing when we get to Petrov and Orlova," Kaz said quietly as they walked across the carpeted floor to the back of the house.

"I make no promises, Kaz."

Kaz snatched up Y/N's wrist. He seemed to register what he'd done and quickly let go as if he'd been burnt. "Y/N. You have to trust me - wait until I tell you to move, not before."

Y/N frowned, staring at Kaz. "Do I detect a bit of fondness, Mr Brekker?"

Kaz rolled his eyes. "No. I don't want you ruining my plan."

"Of course you don't, Boss," Y/N muttered, letting out a hefty sigh.

The next two guards stood outside the door to Petrov's private quarters and were just as easily taken down as the first two. Y/N didn't wait for Kaz as she marched down the carpeted hallway, dim and dark since most of the lights were off save a few walls sconces.

Petrov's private quarters were big. But it didn't take long to find the 'room'. Every man like Petrov had a room - Y/N had been in enough of them to know what to look for and how to find it.

Kaz caught up to Y/N and blocked her way with his cane, smacking her in the stomach. "Slow. Down."

Y/N let out an irritable sigh but forced herself to take a deep breath in and calm down. She had to trust Kaz. She had to trust that Kaz knew what he was doing. Which, nine times out of ten, he did. Even if his plans went from B to K faster than Jesper gambled his monthly wage.

The door was locked but Kaz made quick work of the lock, opening it in probably less time than it took to lock it. As it swung open, Y/N was assaulted by incense and felt herself freeze, her mind far back in the past.

But then she got saught of the two terrified girls, sitting on the bed, dressed in sheer silks and golden jewellery. Y/N brushed past Kaz and cautiously approached them, shoving her revolver back into its holster.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Y/N said quietly, crouching in front of them. She unbuttoned the cuff of her shirt and pushed it up, showing off the lotus tattoo that was still engraved into her skin. "I was like you. I'm going to get you out."

"Y/N -"

Y/N turned to look at Kaz over her shoulder, her eyes fierce with determination. "We're getting them out, Kaz."

"You know they will likely bed dead before the week is out."

"Better to die free than to die in chains."

Kaz gave her an almost imperceptible nod, the muscles in his jaw clenched tightly. "Fine."

Y/N pulled out a knife and slice through the fabric tying the girls hands to the bedpost. "Come on, before anyone comes this way."

Kaz stood aside as Y/N lead the girls out the room and into the dim light of the corridor. He followed behind, locking the door so that no one would notice the girls were missing.

"Well, Madame Orlova, you have truly outdone yourself this time."

Y/N and Kaz froze. They could hear Petrov's voice getting closer, the clicking of Orlova's heels like the sound of a bomb waiting to go off.

"Get them out of here," Y/N said, pulling out her knife and twirling it between her fingers.

"Y/N, don't be stupid," Kaz said, standing in front of her, blocking her path. "We don't need to kill them now, we can just go."

She looked at him, meeting his gaze. "Get them to the gates then come back. I'll be fine in the five minutes it takes you."

"We should just leave now, we got what we need," Kaz said, showing off a sealed envelope he must have stolen from the room whilst Y/N freed the girls. "There's no point in fighting Petrov or Orlova - no matter how much they deserve death."

"Do you trust me?"

"No."

Y/N smirked. "Wise."

She didn't wait for Kaz to answer her back as she walked away from him, ducking to the left and into another part of the house. Kaz tried to grab her wrist, to pull her back to him but his fingers brushed her sleeve as she walked away - just out of reach.

The entire house was dark as Y/N walked along the corridors, her footsteps quiet even as the carpet changed to wood. Petrov and Orlova had split up - Petrov had gone to his office at the other end of the house, locking himself away with a bottle of alcohol, presumably to prepare for his evening's entertainment.

Madame Orlova, with nothing left to do but wait, was just wandering the halls, her dark blue cloak still wrapped around her shoulders, the chiffon silk rustling with every step.

The greenhouse was lit up by a few, tiny lanterns dotted around the flower beds. Y/N would have thought it beautiful if it didn't remind her of the Lotus. The pond in the centre of the large, glass room had numerous lotuses floating around, koi fish swimming around underneath them.

Madame Orlova paused, sensing Y/N's presence. "I wondered when you would come back."

Y/N took a slow step forward, the hilt of her knife digging into her palm, reminding her that she was in control of what was happening.

Orlova turned around and smiled. Her black hair was tied up into a tight bun, blue lotuses pinned into it. Her eyes were soft as she looked at Y/N. "My darling, Y/N. You made your way back to me."

"Don't," Y/N snapped, taking a small step back. "Don't. You ruined my life."

"I saved you!"

"No, you didn't! You took me from my family and murdered them! You didn't save me from anything. You ruined me at the Lotus - you watch as men took me and used me. You stand in your office as your girls are murdered so that a man can get off. You save no one, Orlova. All you want is the money."

Orlova tilted her head. "Don't tell me you believe that Dirtyhands saved you. If anything, Y/N, he's walked you to your death. Without him, you would have died a long time ago."

Y/N walked forward, trying to conquer her fear. "I would rather die free than die in silks and chains, Madame Orlova."

"Fine."

Y/N dodged back as Orlova swung at her with a dagger, the blade missing her face by inches. She threw her knife up and caught it, spinning around so that she was behind Orlova. As Orlova turned and came at her, Y/N lurched forward and stabbed her with her knife.

She felt the blood drip onto her hands - the blood of the woman who had ruined her and her life. Y/N looked up at her, taking in the shock on her face.

"You... bitch," Orlova panted, blood staining her teeth. "Don't think... I'll let you live that easily..."

Y/N smiled. "You'll never get to see me die, Madame Orlova. Now, I'd like my knife back."

Y/N pulled the knife out and let Orlova fall to the floor, her blood seeping into the cracks between the tiles, running into the koi pond and beginning to turn the water red.

Y/N looked up at the glass ceiling, staring at the night. She was finally free.

Kaz couldn't deny the relief that went through him as Y/N appeared around the corner, walking down the corridor towards him.

"You're covered in blood," Kaz said, as they walked out of the house.

"I don't judge you whenever you're covered in blood," Y/N muttered, panting slightly. "The girls?"

"They ran as soon as I got them to the gates. I told them where to go if they ever need help."

Y/N looked at Kaz, surprise clouding her features. "Which is where?"

Kaz rolled his eyes. "I don't think I would ever hear the end of it from Inej, Jesper or you if I just let them run with nowhere to go."

Y/N laughed and Kaz just watched her for a moment, trying to memorise her at that moment. She inhaled sharply, suddenly, and reached a hand out for the wall, a hand pressed to her stomach, taking short steps forward as she tried to keep walking.

"Y/N?" Kaz asked, frowning.

Y/N stopped walking. Kaz limped around to face her and put his gloved hand under her chin and tilted it up. Her eyes were glassy as she met his gaze and her skin was pale and clammy. Kaz dropped his eyes to the hand pressed to her side and noticed the blood beginning to drip down from between her fingers.

"Y/N," Kaz repeated, hoping for any sign that she'd heard him. Y/N blinked and exhaled softly, swaying dangerously on her feet. "Can you make it to the rendevous?"

Y/N shook her head, closing her eyes, seemingly regretting the action. Kaz looked over his shoulder, hearing someone approach. It didn't take him long to register the fact that it was Jesper and Inej.

Kaz debated making Y/N walk to meet the other two but as he looked at her again, he knew she was telling the truth and that if he tried to make her walk, he'd end up carrying her. Which was an issue in itself.

Y/N swayed again, her eyes shut. Kaz turned back to her and tapped her face, trying to get her to stay awake. He knew how blood loss worked - everyone in the Dregs did. Kaz had experienced it far too many times and recognised the signs of when it was getting into dangerous territory.

He wrapped his hand around Y/N's wrist. Her pulse was sluggish and weak and her breathing had gone from shaky to fast and shallow.

"Y/N," Kaz said, tapping her face again, feeling her cold skin through his gloves. "Y/N, stay awake. I need you to stay awake, alright?"

Y/N's eyes half-opened and she looked at him, unfocused and confused. "Kaz. You're going to have to catch me."

"What -"

Y/N swayed to the right, losing her balance and falling into Kaz. Kaz dropped his cane and caught Y/N, stumbling slightly at the dead weight in his arms. He awkwardly fell to the ground, cradling Y/N in his arms and desperately trying not to let the ocean drown him.

"Saints, I can't lose you too, Y/N. Please. Hey, hey, stay with me, Y/N," Kaz said, shaking her shoulders. "Y/N, tell me about the stars - tell me anything about them."

"Why... why now? You don't normally listen," Y/N muttered, her words slurring together.

"I'm listening now. What about the one about Vasilka?"

"You don't believe in them, Kaz -"

"I don't but I'm listening."

Y/N's eyes closed. "I knew it would end," she whispered, struggling to get her words out between pained gasps of breath. "Just..."

She trailed off and Kaz shook her again, trying to keep her awake a bit longer. "Just what, Y/N?"

"Just not like this," she said, her voice nothing more than a hushed whisper that came and went like a gust of wind.

Kaz felt Y/N go limp in his arms and the ocean very nearly began to drown him. He looked up as Inej and Jesper appeared, both pausing as they stared at him.

At that moment, Kaz was nothing more than a scared boy, holding onto the one person he couldn't live without. He shifted his leg, bringing Y/N closer to him, her head lolling against his chest. As he spoke, fear overwhelmed him and everything he wanted to say was lost.

"Help me," Kaz said, his voice cracking slightly.

The pile of paperwork was never-ending. Kaz felt as if he'd barely made a dent in it, yet he'd been working on it since early that afternoon. His hand was beginning to cramp up and he was very aware of the fact he hadn't moved for several hours.

Someone knocked on the door. Kaz looked up, already knowing who it was. He'd began to recognise the footsteps of the people who visited his office the most - from Inej's silent footsteps to Jesper's loud and clumsy ones.

But it was the knock on the door that told him who it was, waiting to be let in. Which was why Kaz hesitated for a minute.

"Kaz, I'm coming in either way, whether your say yes or not," Y/N called, her voice slightly muffled by the door.

Kaz rolled his eyes, looking back down at his paperwork. "Come in, then."

Y/N opened the door and walked inside. Kaz had resumed writing, the sound of his pen scratching against the parchment breaking the silence.

"I'm fine, thanks for asking," Y/N said, approaching him. "Not like I almost died or anything."

"Unfortunately I can hear you talking, therefore your body is working fine."

Y/N rolled her eyes. "I can't believe I actually thought that you were concerned about me," she muttered, sitting down in the chair that was always opposite his desk. Y/N put her feet up on the desk, ignoring Kaz's sigh of opposition.

"Which one of them sent you up here? Inej or Jesper?

"Both, actually," Y/N, replied, picking a sweet out of the bowl on Kaz's desk and sucking on it.

"I'm fine."

"Kaz, when was the last time you left this room?"

Kaz paused, having to think about it. "Last night."

"Which was what day?"

"Friday."

"Kaz, it's Tuesday."

He looked up, slightly perturbed by that. "Oh."

Y/N sighed, crossing her arms. "Kaz, look, I don't want to do this either but -"

"Then don't," Kaz snapped, glaring at her. "I'm perfectly content to sit in silence and not do this coddling shit."

Y/N stared at him. "Saints, Kaz! Did you lose all your emotions whilst I was bleeding out in your lap?"

"So? What if I did?" Kaz asked, leaning forward.

Y/N narrowed her eyes at him. "I can't lose you too."

"What?"

"That's what you said to me as I lay there, bleeding in your arms, barely conscious. You said 'I can't lose you too'." Y/N paused and looked at Kaz closely, her eyes narrowed slightly. "Too implies that you've already lost someone. I know it isn't Jesper or Inej because they're currently downstairs enjoying my dinner. I doubt it was a member of the Dregs since, well, since you refuse to let yourself get close to anyone. Therefore, using the powers of deduction that, frankly, I didn't know I had until now, it has to be a family member. Surprised you had a family, in all honesty, and that Ketterdam didn't just spit you out in the harbour."

Kaz flinched slightly at that. As Y/N spoke, he was growing more agitated and uncomfortable, the ocean beginning to rise and pull him under once more, sweeping the ground out from under his feet.

"So, in order to have a family, most people tend to have parents - a father or mother. But since you sell yourself as an orphan, I doubt it was your parents. Which leaves me with brother or sister. And from the way you act around Jesper, I'm going to go with brother, since -"

"Enough!"

Kaz slammed his hands down on the table, knocking over a pile of paperwork from the force. Y/N flinched, startled by his outburst.

"You know, if you'd just talked, I wouldn't have been so harsh," she said softly, looking at Kaz as he tried to get his emotions under control.

"I don't want to talk about it," he snarled, pushing himself away from his desk and retreating to the other side of the wall, ducking under the arch.

Y/N, unphased, got up and followed him, leaning against the arch as Kaz took his blazer off and rolled his sleeves up. He all but ripped his gloves off and plunged them under the running water.

"No one ever does, Kaz," Y/N said softly. "Who wants to talk about their trauma and their pain? But we do it anyway." Y/N paused. "If I am to stand any chance of understanding you, I need to know at least something. I don't want to keep trying if there's... if there's no point."

Kaz closed his eyes. His shoulders slumped and he braced himself on the sink. "Jordie," he grounded out, each word forcing him deeper and deeper into the darkness of the sea. "My brother's name was Jordie."

Y/N nodded. "That's all I need, Kaz," she said softly, turning to go.

"I was twelve."

Y/N turned back, startled. "Pardon?"

Kaz turned around, leaning against the basin. "I was twelve when he died. We'd left our family farm after our father died and came to Ketterdam for a new chance. The first few days were everything young me could have wanted. But then the money ran out, we were scammed and... and the plague swept through the city."

Kaz paused, inhaling shakily. He was using all his courage and strength to tell her this. But he knew he had to. Because he trusted Y/N and he wanted to at least try.

"Jordie and I both caught it. He died and I thought I would too. But then I woke up on... on the Reaper's Barge, lying on top of other dead bodies, Jordie next to me. I couldn't do anything as they tipped us into the water..."

Y/N was silent as Kaz paused. He was clutching the edge of the counter tightly, his knuckles white.

"I got to shore and the rest is history," Kaz finished, not wanting to subject himself to the memory any longer. He looked up at Y/N, his eyes haunted. "I lost him, Y/N. I just sometimes feel like I'm in a room where the light can't find me... like I'm in the depths of the ocean once more and there's no escaping."

"I get it," Y/N said softly. "The windowless rooms at the Lotus - I felt as if the darkness might just swallow me up. Now that I'm free I spend every day trying to make the most of my freedom and of the pleasure of just... well, just being free."

Neither one said anything for a moment.

"I want you to be happy," Kaz said suddenly, his voice hoarse. He was staring down at his feet, refusing to meet her gaze. "Whatever that means for us."

Y/N smiled to herself and nodded. "I'm just happy being free for now, Kaz. And you gave me that. I don't need more right now."

Kaz nodded. He looked at Y/N as she stood up and approached him, coming to a stop just a few feet away.

"We're good, yeah?" Y/N asked, hoping she hadn't made things weird.

Kaz tried not to smile. "We're fine. I won't deduct your pay for making me go to therapy."

"Well, if you hadn't locked yourself away, I wouldn't have had to conduct it in the first place," Y/N countered, smiling.

Kaz looked at her as she smiled and wished he could pause time. Because in that instance, she was just so perfect.

Without thinking, he reached out a gloved hand and grabbed the tips of her fingers, holding them lightly. As he held her hands, his walls came tumbling down until they revealed Kaz underneath - an unbroken, pure, innocent Kaz who was still capable of loving someone.

Y/N looked at him, her eyes showing only a slight hint of surprise as he held her hand, their walls tumbling down. She smiled and nodded, understanding what this meant to Kaz. What it meant for them. Even as the walls tumbled into rubble, Y/N stood right behind him, unshakeable and unbreakable.

[starstruckwillows]

hehe jessie may i request some nina zenik x fem reader? i dont really have an idea but domestic fluff if you can 🫶🏻

♡ picking locks and fruit - n.z ♡

i love u. thank you for requesting this <3 @xosunshiine

starstruckwillows 🂱

pairing; nina zenik x reader

category; fluff

summary; settling into an evening with nina after a day in the barrel

warnings/content; illegal activity, one swear

other; fem!reader, set after rule of wolves but no spoilers :)

it'll only take an hour, kaz had promised, we'll be in and out.

he was spectacularly wrong, but you figured he knew that before asking you anyway.

kaz picked the lock, nina knocked out the guards, wylan quietly blew some shit up, jesper complained about not having enough to do, and you were in charge of sweet talking the owner, distracting him from noticing what was happening twenty feet down the hallway.

nina was not a fan of that, and she 'subtly' made sure you were aware when the two of you returned home, on the outskirts of ketterdam.

she achieved that by tackling you onto your beat-up sofa, ignoring your surprised huff as she laid and settled half on top of you, smiling up at you teasingly.

"what was that for?" you laughed, threading your hands through her wind tossed hair.

nina didn't directly answer your question, just leant up to kiss you. then again. then again, and again, until the lipstick you'd worn for the guard was smeared off.

she hovered just above you, hair pushed over her shoulder as she traced her fingers down along your collar bones. it almost felt like the air had been snatched from your lungs - it always did when you looked at her.

it was worse when she looked back at you the same way, and your thumping heart seemed to agree.

you'd been married three years and she still made your cheeks heat and lips quirk unintentionally just by being nearby.

"i love you." you hadn't meant to whisper the sentiment, but nina was plenty close enough to hear, her breath fanning your face and stoking the butterflies in your chest.

she'd usually adorn a cocky smile and poke your ribs til you squealed at this point, but a softness reached her eyes as she kissed your cheek and rolled off you, offering her hand to help you up.

the clock on the mantelpiece (it was nina's favourite part of the house "how grown up and married is a mantelpiece") chimed six, signalling it was time to start making dinner.

with an expression that could only be described as mischievous, nina grabbed your hand and began tugging you to the door.

"where are we going?" you giggled, narrowly avoiding knocking over a vase of flowers that matthias had gifted you the day before.

"orchards! i want apple pie for dinner."

when you arrived at the wooden gate, she twirled you around with practiced ease before disconnecting your linked hands to open it.

technically, the orchard was not yours. but there was nobody around, and it was probably the most legal action you'd taken today.

tossing a rosy apple in the air, she grinned with delight, "perfect! how many do you need again?"

cooking was your talent, not hers.

"hm, eight i guess? but get some extras in case they're rotten inside."

you sat on the gate swinging your legs, as was your joint ritual. she quickly pressed another kiss to your slightly swollen lips before skipping further into the trees to fill a basket she'd picked up from somewhere.

the last slithers of sunlight broke through the leaves to cast patterns over her, speckling the skin of her shoulders, and face when she turned to wave at you.

a small scream broke you from your trance, laughter bubbling in your throat as you saw your lover running from a wasp. once she'd shaken it from her trail, she resumed her quest for apples, some blossoms getting caught in her hair.

you decided not to tell her.

the sun had long since sunk by the time you were back in your cottage, the scent of apple pie filling it's walls. the food itself had long since been eaten, just plates remaining that you'd wash in the morning. because right now, an explosion wouldn't have prompted you to move.

again, you were on the sofa, curled into each other in a messy tangle of limbs. the both of you were beginning to fall asleep under two blankets, fire having burnt down already.

she stirred, shifting her face to see you better, "i love you too."

taglist:

@anordinarymuse @kingshitonly

[usmsgutterson]

Sometimes- Jesper Fahey x male! reader

Okay, hi everyone! This fic can’t be read as a standalone, so, before you read this part, you’ve gotta read the other two! I haven’t created a masterlist yet as I’ve been doing some schoolwork, but you can find parts one and two by typing ;sometimes’ into the search bar when you’re my account. 

Fic type- I don’t really know what this part is, but I’d describe it as fluff

Warnings- a little talk of self worth, dying is mentioned maybe once or twice. It makes more sense in context

j e s p e r f a h e y 

The following morning, Jesper found himself waking up with a sore back, as normal. The feeling of the old mattress was never quite so welcome, and even the adage of a few woven blankets imported from Ravka didn’t do much to help.

But he found himself grinning anyway. Even on the shitty beds, waking up next to the love of his life was still just that. 

His back was against the mattress, woven blanket resting at his waist. Y/Ns back was against his chest, and one of Jespers arms was flung around his waist.

He heard the door open and didn’t even blink as he checked the time. Eight bells. Reasonable enough for Nina, he figured. 

He saw Kaz at the door, intimidating as ever. 

“Fahey,” he said. “Are you in, or are you out?”

“You’re aware of the risks?”

“I’ve accounted for all of them,” said Kaz. “But you need to understand, even so, I can’t guarantee anyone makes it out alive.”

“How many on the trip?”

“Us and Nina,” said Kaz. “I have to keep the crew as small as possible. More than three of us on the property would raise suspicion.”

Jesper groaned. “To raise suspicion within the Fjerdans inner circles is to raise bloody Hell,” he said. “What makes you think you can manage this with three people?”

“We’ve managed the Ice Court,” said Kaz. “Managing it a second time for a billion kruge in jewels should, realistically, be almost nothing.”

“We managed the Ice Court with seven people,” said Jesper. “Managing it will be a hell of a lot more difficult with three, and if you’ve not asked for more money or at least half of what the seller will be making from the jewels, I’m not going to go along.”

“Jesper,” said Kaz, but Jesper wasn’t having any of it. Kaz Brekker had been one of his closest friends since he was sixteen. At nineteen, he’d known that Kaz was smart. Kaz Brekker was smart, but to not triple the price of asking for the heist was the move of a fool. 

The Ice Court heist had been about getting the one man who could create an effective antidote for the effects of jurda parem. Getting four million kruge out of it was the cost. Jesper was not going to go back to get billions of dollars in jewelry without a rather significant pay raise. 

He knew that, if he was going to get money for stealing what would go on to sell for billions of dollars, he certainly wasn’t doing it if the number ended in ‘thousand’. 

“You either ask for more or I don’t get onto the schooner next week. It’s quite simple, Kaz.”

“Fine,” said Kaz. “I make no guarantee.”

“Nor do I,” said Jesper. 

Kaz adjusted the grip on his cane. “Fine then,” he said. “Expect notification of a pay raise tonight.” 

—

Throughout the next five hours, neither of them moved very much. They turned to face one another, and that was pretty much it. 

They talked, laughed, joked. They kissed. The silences were comfortable, as they’d always been. 

Jesper allowed his eyes to close. So much had been going on. A heist. Look out missions and errands being run on Kaz’s behalf for another that was to take place in Spring. 

“Kaz has agreed to ask for more,” said Jesper. “I somehow managed to convince him.” 

“How Kaz expects to be able to break into the Ice Court to steal billions of dollars in jewelry is beyond me,” said Y/N. “Every plan he made during the first round at the court failed or was close to failing. He’s lucky he’s good at thinking on his feet.”

“If he fails, he’ll have a back up plan,” said Jesper. “I promise, Y/N. I’ll make it home to you.”

“Ditto,” said Y/N. “Always.”

“Always.” Agreed Jesper. 

[lilisouless]

“Feeding your partner is one of the most intimate things you can do”

Nina: Matthias my love, i am going to share my ice cream with you to prove that my love for you goes beyond-

Matthias: You already ate it while you were talking

Nina: How did i even do it?! Curse my sweet-loving instincs!

---

David: I could offer to feed her , but what if she doesn’t like it and says “yes” only to not look rude? Or what if she gets offended at the implication that i don’t think she can feed herself? But if i don’t do it and she wants me to, i´ll look like i don’t want to shera

Genya: David, my love? Oh great, he is on an overthinking loop again

---

Leoni: Here have a cookie, no sugar,honey and salty like you like it

Adrik: “eats”

(half hour later)

Healer: BUT WHY DID YOU ATE IT IF YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO NUTS?!

Adrik laying down with his face all swollen: It was our aniversary

---

Zoya: I don’t share food!

Nikolai: It´s okay, i do and i can feed you with mine. In afectionate gestures, i am the superior partner

Zoya: what no! you are nothing´s “superior” (grabs a strawberry and puts it close his lips) Eat this 

Nikolai: (Grabs a grape) No, i am feeding you

Zoya : No, i am feeding you! 

Nikolai: I-am-feeding-you

(Both continued to struggle and wrestling for hours)

--- 

Jesper holding a cupcake: Do you trust me? Close your eyes

Wylan wait eye closed until the cupcake clashes his nose ,leaving his face covered in frosting

Wylan: Haha Jes, now give me a napkin

Jesper: We don’t need one

Wylan as Jesper starts removing the frosting with his lips: Jokes on you, i was expecting you to do that

---

Inej after Kaz puts a candy on her mouth: This ones are my favorite

Kaz: I know, stolen food taste better

Inej: Kaz, why are you so-

Kaz: Don’t worry, they were for you anyway,Nina was going to give them to you in your birthday

“BREKEEEEEER!”

---

Tolya: I don´t think that counts as “feeding your parter” 

Nadia helping Tamar shallow a two liter bottle of beer: CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!

---

Oh and Malina thought about it but decided to make an eating contest instead and they both ended up on laying in the floor for a while

[alcottsangel]

Shower 2 {Kaz Brekker x reader}

Summary: Y/n and Kaz talk about the chances they have for a future. Fluff, Angst.

Warnings: Kaz talks about his past and trauma.

This was requested by the lovely @bellarayel <3

Part 1:

Kaz Brekker was embarrassed.

It was something so unlikely, something absolutely crazy. The bastard of the barrel was never embarrassed. He made others embarrassed for the things he did.

But he couldn't pull this move on Y/n.

And, for fucks sake, Kaz couldn't stop worrying what would happen if she would tell anyone.

The tension between them was visible, even to blind eyes. The crows could easily guess that something had happened between.

They just couldn't figure out what exactly.

Y/n wasn't embarrassed at all. She never felt this confident in her entire life.

There really wasn't a reason to be, he was the one that walked in on her showering, he was the one who decided she was attractive enough to stay. He decided she was worth it. Of course that pushed her confidence.

Y/n was mercilessly teasing Dirtyhands with nonsense, that only the two could understand.

Kaz was always looking away, scoffing as if it was nonsense to him too, but they all knew better. Something had made Kaz Brekker uncomfortable, and the Bastard of the Barrel tried his best to not let anybody see it.

It was a thursday, to be exact four days after the incedent. Y/n was gambling with Jesper, clearly winning and giggling after she took yet another shot of vodka.

„Jesper, you hideous idiot, if you're loosing another round I demand two shots!" The women cried out, slapping her cards on the table to reaveal a royal flush. Jesper sighed. „If anything, I'm not hideous. I'm breathtaking, bet that Wylan will confirm that. But if I win, you will pay me back everything I've lost today, darling."

Wylan leaned against Jesper, looking between his two friends, knowing well that Jesper would loose either way.

„Maybe you should let it be now."

„No way!" Y/n gasped. „I'm not going to end the evening already. I have nothing to do tomorrow next to going out for waffles with Nina in the evening. If I have the chance to sleep in late, I at least want to have a valid reason for that. And that is either staying up for hours or having a hangover."

Both, Wylan and Jesper chuckled softly. „Maybe you should stop drinking anyways. You already had enough." Wylan noticed now. Y/n made a grimace. "But that would be so boring."

In that moment she looked to the door and spotted Kaz Brekker himself entering the Slat. „Anyways both, enjoy youself. I think I just found my alternative." She winked and stood up, walking towards Kaz.

„What do you want Y/n?" Dirtyhands asked, without even looking at her. „Why do you think that I want anything from you?" Y/n asked sweetly, looking up to him with big eyes. Kaz sighed.

„Because the entire week you only ever approached me to bother me." Kaz walked the stairs up to his attic.

Y/n looked back to Jesper and Wylan, grinned and followed the Bastard of the Barrel.

Right before his door, he turned around on his heel, causing her to pause only inches away from him.

She didn't dare to breathe, but she could feel his breath on her skin.

„Listen, I know what I did shouldn't have happened. But it's not something you should tell anyone either, for both of our sake."

She breathed in deeply once.

„It didn't bother me."

„What?"

Kaz asked, almost surprised.

„If it would've bothered me, I would have said something while you were still in the bathroom. I didn't. Kaz, your presence never bothers me." Her voice was so low, that it only reached him as a whisper.

Kaz looked down the floor, before he opened

his door and walked into his room. She sighed, but the moment she looked into his face, she realised he expected her to follow him.

Once she was in, he closed the door behind her again. The young women watched silently as Kaz undressed his coat and hat.

"What do you expect me to do with that information." Kaz turned to her again, when he had finished. Y/n shrugged.

"I just felt like you deserved to know. There's no need for you to feel bad about it." She told him honestly. "I know I'm stunning, I would've stayed too." The young women then joked.

She didn't know how to keep the conversation serious, when the situation was something so unlikely.

If Kaz could, he would kiss her. He would make a step forward and take her face in his hands, and then he would put his lips on her and snog her as if there wasn't a tomorrow.

He had that instict, for a split second.

But Kaz couldn't.

And she didn't deserve that. She deserved all the love in the world, for every moment she brought joy to it with her youthful character a bit more. He couldn't give that to Y/n.

He looked down, disappointed in himself.

She noticed. "Kaz..." Y/n said softly, moving closer to him. He made a step back. She stopped. "I really don't know what else to do, or to say." She looked down too. "Where is this supposed to go, Brekker?"

"Nowhere." He answered silently.

"Nowhere?" She reassured herself, her voice turning lower. "Yes."

Y/n scoffed and started biting her lip.

"In that case I will stay away from you. Sorry to bother." She snapped, as she turned to leave.

The moment her hand landed on the doorknob, Kaz opened his mouth.

"It's not that I don't want it." He said.

Y/n didn't turn around to face him. She leaned her forehead against the door and waited for him to continue.

"But I can't. Really. I could never give you what you want. I can't even give that to myself."

She smiled bitterly. "And that is?"

"I couldn't touch you. Not in any way. Maybe what I did gave you wrong hopes for that.

If someone would touch me, I would loose my mind. And really, I would if I could. I want to kiss you and touch you and feel you. The moment I saw you standing in the shower I knew it.

And you don't know what it feels like to fall in love with you. You don't know what it's like when I can't change it. And how could I have you, when I'm always bound to loose the people I care for. How can I have you, when I will cause you such trouble."

Y/n could feel her eyes tear up.

"I only loose my mind when I aint got you.

You don't know what I want, Kaz Brekker.

Because if you would, you'd know that I only want you. And I could live with all the ups and downs. I know I can. It would be worth it."

She finally turned around. Kaz looked like a mess. She had never seen him like that.

He seemed so vulnerable, so honest.

"I can't speak for you. But I've made my decision. I want you, and I would pay every price. You know shit about my needs, and you don't have the right to decide something like this for me. So if you want it, and if I do, I don't see why we won't just try."

They looked each other in the eyes for several moments. In that moment, they had let each other seen what was going on in depths of their souls. Kaz pushed himself away from the table he leaned against and walked over to Y/n.

As close as he could.

And he took off his right glove. Without cutting the eye contact, he carefully placed his hand on her cheek. He could feel his heart beat faster, the panic starting to take over. But Kaz stood still. Listening to her calm breathing, watching her lips trembling, feeling her tears on his hand. She wasn't cold, or lifeless.

Her cheek was warm and soft and she smelled like apples and chocolate and a tiny bit like the cigarettes the Dregs smoked downstairs.

Kaz closed his eyes. She didn't feel like Jordie.

She didn't feel like a corpse. She felt alive, and welcoming and comforting and he could feel the panic leave.

Kaz was proud. Y/n was prouder.

And suddenly they felt as if they had a future.

[gemma-collins-ily]

Kaz/Jesper with a s/o who is basically snow white (aka sis could pick up the worlds most poisonous snake and live bc that danger noodle likes her)

Kaz with a Snow White S/O

a/n - ooh, got an idea for this straight away! It went a bit off the rails and talks a lot about pigs but you know, whatever!

Warnings: snakes, I'm not sure what else

Kaz never really understood

or knew, actually

he guessed when you perched on his window with Inej to feed the crows, they came because of the food

not because of you

but actually, they would land on your hand and give a gentle playful peck

it was really funny when they'd jostle each other just to get to you

all wanting to have a moment specially

you'd wave your hand over Inej's so they would follow and go to her

because you loved seeing the overjoyed look on her face when one would land on her hand instead

there were several times the birds were jealous of Inej

because she was taking up all the time of their prescious hooman fwend

when they'd peck her none too lightly you'd gasp dramatically and waft them away

telling them to go to the back of the line

you'd laugh together when they'd sulk their way there

because you only had a few minutes before you needed to go and they might not have seen you again after that

Kaz would be quite worried for you when you're sitting right at the edge of the roof or at the precipice of falling from his ledge

he knew Inej would be fine since she literally sits up there for fun but you...

"(Y/N), get down before you topple to your imminent death and splat below. I don't want someone to have to clear that up."

"Aww, 'Nej look, he cares."

"(Y/N)!"

"Just two minutes more, Kaz!"

you would definitely try to coax a pig into the Slat

for sure

I will be taking no questions

Jesper would totally be all for it and drag Wylan along too

"Hey, Jes-"

"I'm down."

"Okay, cool let's go!"

cue Wylan trying to dissuade you from it for hours

this eventually ends with him trailing behind you

as you walk back to the Slat with a pig following you at your heels without persuasion

he's shouting weak protests and after a while he only sighs heavily as the pig trots behind you

it took several clicks out of the corner of your mouth from you which lead to the pig nudging him along and butting him with its head

just to prompt him along, you know?

Jesper wonders if you rub treats over the edges of your clothes so animals follow you

he has tried to 'tie his shoe' several times while attempting to sniff a trouser leg from a bit away

"What are you doing?"

"Tying my shoelaces, isn't that clear?"

"Jesper, you're wearing zip up boots."

anyways

when you bring the pig back Kaz says it isn't allowed

Jesper gathers a small battalion of younger and more willing Dregs to make a rabble

they hold up signs of protest and everything

you don't know how he organised it so quick, but you supposed they would just do whatever the cool man told them to

while this is going on, you and Inej are ushering the pig upstairs

doing that whole roll the carpet dance move

the mission is a success and Kaz does not see

until he walks into your room to see Jesper helping you build a litterbox, the pig inside it as you use a tape measure to check it's the correct size

he tells you immediately to chuck it out

he only gets a distracted waving of a middle finger from the both of you as your eyes remain on the slabs of wood scattered on your floor

Kaz walks upstairs and puts his head in his hands

because, what is he going to do with you?

he knows the answer when he sees Inej waltz in, practically skipping, and Jesper giving the pig a piece of French Toast

he had attempted to give it bacon too, but that had quickly been put to a stop

"Jesper, that's canibalism."

"Huh?"

"You know when another animal eats one of its own, that kinda-"

panicked screams sound out as the pig's teeth clamp onto the meat

you quickly whistle and it drops it

the first thing he thinks is, 'That pig has got to go.'

for two reasons

one because it's galavanting about his house and pooing in corners no one can see

and two because it's taking up all the time he wants to have with you

the second thought is that you would never give up your prized pet, who you have named Alex by now

it was chosen through a vote by the Dregs and Crows, taking into account that no one wanted to check whether it was actually a boy or girl

so, Alex it was

you had even forced Kaz to take a vote

shaking the box with a slit for paper at him until he scribbled down an 'A' and dropped it in

"You're a part of this, Kaz. Whether you want to be or not, it's happening."

"Not if I say it isn't."

"Uh huh, well, I haven't seen you banning the pig from the Slat."

you spoke too soon

poor Alex was living in a barn by the end of the week

but it was close enough to the Slat to see them

and it was under your official ownership

still

you and Jesper decided to push your luck

"Just do the puppy dog eyes, he can't resist those from you!" He hissed.

"Seriously?"

"Yes! Just, oh shit, puppy dog eyes right now, he's coming over!"

you did go course follow through

anything for bestie Alex

"What are you doing?"

"Oh me, nothing. Just... Well, feeling so awfully upset about Alex. They were such a lovely pig."

A dramatic sigh was heard as Jesper added something, "Rest in peace, my friend."

"You're acting as though I sent it to the Slaughterhouse!" Kaz was appalled at how attached you seemed to one little scrappy animal.

"Might as well have!"

his last thought about it all came later, when he compared all the times the dratted animal had ignored him completely in favour of you

not that he'd want a pig sitting at his feet

he wondered how you managed to make animals appear at your beck and call magically

that scene in Paddington?

where he makes friends with the stray dog then it helps him

wham

that's you

sometimes Kaz will almost have to forcefully drag you away from animals, anything ranging from lizards to dogs

even caterpillars end up in small cardboard boxes on your window, trying to help them become beautiful butterflies a sort of hobby

sometimes, he'll also have to drag the animals from you

of course, you don't mind but when on a heist, it really isn't helpful to have a noblewoman's Lhasa Apso sliding across the fancy ballroom floor all to see you

even if food is offered though, it is well known the animals would much rather go to you

anyways back to Paddington

so

one day, you're on a heist and it hasn't really gone well

now your practically playing knock a door run okay?

because you cannot for the life of you recall which house the rendezvous spot is

and then, a sharp whistle rings through the air, your two fingers against either side of your mouth

(because that's the cool whistle and we all know it)

all of a sudden, a shaggy and unkempt greyhound dashes around the corner, almost colliding into you

without any prompting, it lowers its front paws, allowing for you to clamber on and grip with your knees as it rises upward to its full height

you don't squeeze too much with your feet or tuft the dog's hair in your fists because you don't want to hurt it

the only thing you have that could maybe work for the dog to track is the scarf Jesper draped over your neck when you shivered the day before

so, you bring it to the dog's nose, and then you're off

from the Crow's perspective, it's so strange to hear a scrabbling on the door only to open it to see you sat upon a huge dog

you tried to adopt the dog as a thank you gift later, but Kaz said no

is it because he's grumpy?

no

because he's a bitch let's all say fuck you Kaz

just kidding

he's being practical

you can't adopt every animal you see, he knows you are sure to either not be able to handle them all

or want them to be taken care of before you, causing for you to neglect yourself instead

as your boyfriend, he sees it as his need to protect you and make sure you are taking care of yourself

he did however organise giving it to a more responsible but young Dreg, one that did not have so many responsibilities

the dog was named Lyle

even after all your animal escapades, on weekends you will often sit with your knees drawn to your chest and absorbed in a book at the back entrance of the Slat

every time, a weight will drop into your foot a few minutes later

or a damp dog's nose will sniff at your hand, peering under your book

you'll only laugh and stroke its head, searching for a collar

if one isn't found, it's no big deal considering many in Ketterdam don't put collars on their pets, knowing that is in no means making it less likely to be taken

but if the animal looks in bad shape or neglected, you'll take it back to the Slat, grinning when the little ducklings squawk as they follow behind you

or the puppies nip softly at your heels

these animals will be given to a Dreg, and eventually, nearly half of the Dregs come home to licks in the face and enclosures of rabbits

you have been distracted on heists many times

maybe staring into a koi pool and drawing gentle ripples from the water with the tips of your fingers

or glaring at the way animals are restrained in a cruel way, going over to pat them and sneakily undo their chains or tough leads

Kaz doesn't really dispute the second one because you cause a distraction so it is a win win

the snake thing has happened

it slithered in and attached itself to a Dreg's trenchcoat

it was ready to strike but as soon as you came down the stairs after hearing the screaming it stopped still

then travelled over to you and slid right up to your hand

you only sighed and patted its head then preceded to speak in a babying way

"Did the big mean man try to shake you off? Oh no! I still don't think he deserves a bite though, do you?"

the snake was calmly taken outside after several of the Dregs were still panicking

you took it all the way to its habit, still on your palm, head resting there as it coiled over your arm

as a goodbye you got a light squeeze from the coiled body

everyone found it bizarre but it was easier to just accept it than question it

in the end, all the Dregs now have a bigger family with pets to accompany them on their prowls of the streets

and Kaz still smiles, having to cover his mouth with a gloved hand, when he sees you interact with any animal you can appear to get to

[goldengoddess]

Okay idk if you've already done this but like, domestic headcanons with the crows, them just like, living as the big found family they are and just doing cute family friendsy stuff with the reader yknow? also can we pls make sure matthias is very much alive in these?

living with the crows hcs ♡

this is so so bad i have tried to add stuff to this for a couple of weeks but it’s pretty shit and just feels like a crack fic but i hope u like my stupid hcs anyways :)

matthias is always alive idk what ur talking about

the slat is always alive

always buzzing

no matter the hour of day

there’s always something to see, something to do, someone to annoy

so living there is almost never boring

especially when surrounded by the always pleasant crows

they never let life get boring

all of you had little traditions and routines you’d established through the years

for example, your legendary monopoly monday nights

which usually end in bickering, colorful pieces thrown over the floor, and jesper giving everyone the silent treatment

& kaz trying to push down a smirk at his big win

because of course kaz wins every time

the slat, from the outside, seems like a not so personal space

but in reality it was a home on the inside

wylan likes to tape up his drawings on the walls

his sketches for different heists or buildings

sometimes sketches of jesper because he loves his boyfriend so much

he likes to have your input on his plans, things he might have missed, notes that could help the case in regards to the building

so added on to his drawings are a bunch of notes in bright red pen and highlighter

wylan likes using you as a sounding board for his ideas and plans

weirdly enough, matthias is the designated baker/cook of the house

after being in ketterdam for a while he longed for his home land and his childhood meals

so he started making his own food, the kitchen turning into his own art studio type

then he started branching out and making food for all of you

sunday morning became sunday mornings with pancakes

fridays are make your own pizza nights

except matthias ends up making all the pizzas because jesper eats all the toppings

sometimes you and nina sit on the counter as he cooks

you two talk about whatever and every now and then you giggle as nina throws a teasing remark at her lover

“aw look! he’s wearing the apron i got him for his birthday”

the apron says kiss the cook

jesper let’s you name his guns

so now the two of you will be making casual conversation and just name drop

leaving wylan like “who the fuck is stacy?!”

movie nights omg

all of y’all watching disney movies

inej choosing each one and making the best popcorn just the way everyone likes

she’s super obsessed

and the two of you sing the songs together

okay i just have a feeling that all the crows learn to braid ?

so you braid their hair and they learn to braid yours

and sometimes all of you get into like a little braid train ??? without even deciding it just kinda happens

and all of you experiment with new styles

it’s sort of funny

little notes are littered around the house

small sticky notes and reminders

it’s the most efficient form of communication

nina’s notes are look like “have a good day my favorite losers”

but kaz’s are a bit more uh kaz like

“jesper for saints sake take out the trash” or “matthias and nina please stop making out in the kitchen this is a public space”

you leave little notes reminding them of plans, meetings, shopping lists

you’ve taken charge and made a chore wheel

every sunday all of you meet up and spin the wheel for what you have to do for the week

“cleaning the bloody towels ?? really?!”

it’s really the highlight of your week

stickers everywhere ? yes stickers

you put them on the worst places ever

like the closest where jesper keeps all his guns? stickers ALL over just because you feel like it

people really like it but it does throw kaz off to see a little hello kitty stickers on his desk

you happen to bring a lot of sunshine into the slat <333

taglist;

@vintagebitc @obiwansjedi @thegirlwiththeimpala @hybrid-in-progress @mrs-brekker15 @mrsbrekkers @simplyluvzuko @ode-to-joy @gallysonegoodlung

@sixofshadowandbone @castielcouldbeasecretdentist

@meiitanoia @caaarstairs @the-jess-life @xsamsharons

@heavenlymidnights @tinyfwoggie @the-abyss-gazed-back

@subjecta13-thefangirl @ughgclden

[ladydaemon]

SICK DAYS

kaz brekker x female! reader

A/N: Yes, I realize how cliché and very non-Kaz this is. I tried my best guys, but I am in the mood for fluff and only fluff so yeah.

Summary: After a night in the rain, Y/N has a cold and it's up to Kaz to take care of her, a difficult task indeed.

Warnings: swearing, really horrible writing, not proofread writing, just me spitting out Words™ at three in the morning

Dangerous assassins do not need sick days.

It was an extremely hypocritical thought, and Y/N knew it. She thought the thought anyway, because at this point, there seemed to be no aspect in her life that was not fueled entirely by spite.

"Please, for the love of the Saints, go to sleep, Y/N," Inej begged, forcing the woman back onto the bed. "You are sick. You need rest."

"I do not need rest, I need caffeine and waffles," the wheezing woman replied stubbornly, trying to get past Inej, who was blocking the doorway of her room. The Slat, usually thundering with noise and chatter, was silent as the grave - it was one of the rare days in Ketterdam where it was sunny, and everyone was either out enjoying the weather or enjoying pickpocketing someone who was enjoying the weather. "I am a grown-ass woman who also happens to be very good at using the bang-bang machines we call guns so please move aside, I need fresh air."

It was arguably entirely Y/N's fault that she was stuck inside in the first place - first, she had stayed out in the rain too long, despite Kaz's numerous protests. Second, she had, in a grave act of stupidity, gone down for breakfast the next morning. Normally, this would not have been a problem. However, on this particular day, her eyes were red and swollen and itchy and her lungs hurt and it was generally very obvious that she had a cold.

These were the deciding factors which led to her ultimate demise:

House arrest.

Though the fact that she was notorious for her spontaneous, impulsive, reckless, throw-caution-to-the-wind nature (along with the fact that Kaz, from multiple bad experiences he would rather not repeat, knew that she had nearly no self-preservation skills) probably had something to with it.

Also she apparently needed a chaperone. Which was probably a good idea, but Y/N wasn't about to admit that anytime soon.

"You are seventeen and you have a window, darling," the smooth voice of one Kaz Brekker, the devil himself, interrupted Y/N's feeble excuse of an escape.

"But Kaz," Y/N whined, pouting. Inej gave the man an exasperated look as if to say, See what I've been dealing with?

"Darling, you'll only have to stay here longer if you don't try and get better."

"Still."

Kaz, lips twitching in a very non-Kaz way, turned to Inej. "You can go. I suppose I'll play nursemaid."

The Wraith chucked darkly, already stepping out Y/N's window. "Good luck with that."

As soon as she had climbed out the room and was well out of earshot, Kaz turned on his heel and walked out. Y/N, thoroughly confused, took a second to contemplate whether this act was meant that she was officially free, or that she was supposed to follow him. Her question was answered a moment later when he called out, not sparing her a backwards glance, "Are you coming?"

She sighed dejectedly, following him up the stairs to hid room. With a flamboyant and smug bow, he opened the door for her. "Ladies first."

She rolled her eyes at him but entered the room nonetheless. Kaz closed the door behind him and strode heavily to his desk, taking the time to shuffle and order some papers. Y/N stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, unsure as to what in the hell she was supposed to do. Kaz flicked his eyes up to her and jerked his head towards the black-sheeted bed that occupied almost a fourth of the room.

She stared at it for a moment. "You want me to sleep. On your bed. While you watch." It came out more an incredulous statement than a question.

"Sorry to break it to you, but I can't devote all my time to taking care of you, and I also can't leave you alone unsupervised while ill. This is our compromise," Kaz explained somewhat impatiently.

"I am not going to get in that crusty-ass bed, that, in case you have forgotten, belongs to my boss, AKA you. For all I know you sleep nude."

One of Kaz's eyebrows twitched. "The sheets were changed this morning. And for the record, I don't."

"Still not going to do it. That takes the creepy-o-meter to like, a thousand."

"You're a criminal who spies on brothels. This is nothing."

"Still not doing it. This feels fundamentally wrong."

"I'll buy you a nice dagger if you just shut up and get in the damn bed." Saints, he was already exasperated, and he had barely been here five minutes. A new respect for Inej found its way into his being.

Y/N went quiet for a minute, considering. "One of the serrated ones with the fancy gilded handles?"

"Whatever dagger your heart desires."

"Two daggers and a gun."

"One dagger and a gun."

"Deal," Y/N decided, plopping down on the bed. It still felt wrong, but she did need a new dagger - Wylan had blown hers up in a previous job.

She carefully peeled the pristine sheets and blankets away from the mattress, half expecting a dozen poisonous things to pop out. The only thing it released was the strangely comforting smell of wood oil and ink (and a bit of gunpowder, but this was Kaz Brekker we're talking about).

Y/N slipped beneath the covers, her head resting comfortably on the cloud-like pillows.

I bet this bitch sleeps like a baby every night.

"I can still beat your ass, Brekker," she mumbled. Yeah, she was sick, but she also had a reputation to uphold.

"On a regular day, I have no doubt about it. Currently, you are prohibited from doing anything that isn't sleeping, peeing, or contemplating life. Doctor's orders."

"Well, I'm going to go pee then. More freedom." She attempted to stand up from the surprisingly soft bed but the in the second it took for her to try and stand, Kaz, moving surprisingly quickly for a man with a cane, pinned her to the bed by her shoulders with an exasperated sigh.

"Just stay still. Please," he breathed.

"Get me a sweet bun and maybe," she breathed back, but didn't move. Despite her almost child-like demeanor, she was one of the original Dregs, here as a child even before Kaz. He had been the only one her age when he had joined, so naturally, she had befriended him (well, as much as you can befriend Kaz Brekker). She knew about his phobia of touch, and how much it meant that he was touching her, even with his gloves on.

Kaz released her with a sigh and stalked over to his desk where he rummaged around for a bit until he produced a small tin that looked abut as old as he was. He tossed it at her and she grabbed it, opening it to see some biscuits that looked as hard as rocks. "That's all I have, and all you're going get. Don't break a tooth."

Y/N sighed, staring at the biscuits mournfully before taking one out of the tin and gnawing on it. It would have been easier to bite on the barrel of one of Jesper's guns. "You're mean."

"You're acting like a petulant child."

Y/N made a disgruntled noise from the back of her throat, sinking back into the silk pillows and wrapping the blankets tighter around her. She had made no visible mark on the cookie, and had only succeeded in covering it with slobber. She put it back in the tin and noticed Kaz wrinkle his nose at her.

She doubted the biscuits would ever see the light of day again.

She watched Kaz do his paperwork, a surprisingly interesting thing to do. He had taken off his hat and jacket, and rolled up his sleeves. He even took his gloves off, preferring to use a pen without the ridiculous slipperiness of the leather. The papers shuffled in a soothing rhythm, and soon, Y/N began to feel less cooped up and a bit more relaxed.

Ever since she had been taken away from her family and thrown onto the tiny slaving ship, Y/N had always had a touch of claustrophobia (well, it was a bit more than a touch, but she wasn't willing to admit that just yet). The tiny room with a mattress on the flooor was really just a decoration at this point - she slept on the roof most nights and every waking hour was in Ketterdam, simply walking if there were no pockets to be picked.

Drowsily, she watched as Kaz scratched something out on paper, his face creasing ever so slightly. The pen made a nice sound, she found, and paired with the strangely calming scent of his room and the rustling of papers, it made her feel almost like it was rainy day, the kind where you curled up by the fire and read a book or cuddled with someone.

"I doubt staring at my face will help you fall asleep, love," Kaz noted without looking up from his work.

"Your face is the most interesting thing here."

For the barest fraction of a second, Kaz looked like he had short-circuited. The moment was gone as soon as it came, however, and he simply raised an eyebrow at her. "You're very immature sometimes."

"Thanks!" Y/N said cheerfully. "It was the trauma."

"Trauma hardens people, it doesn't make them softer," Kaz dismissed.

"I agree wholeheartedly. However, there's a difference between an excellent mask and incompetence," she replied. "Now come over here and show what's bothering you, I can see it on your face."

Kaz looked up at her, noting the fact that she probably wouldn't shut up unless he did as she asked. He rolled his eyes, hobbling over to the bed. As he sat, she could feel his weight pushing the mattress down.

Before he could say a word, she snatched the paper in his hands and began scanning it. "What's wrong with it?"

"The numbers don't add up."

She stared at the document for another second, then back up at Kaz. "Who are you and what have you done with Kaz Brekker?"

He blinked at her.

"You forgot to carry the one. The numbers don't add up because you... well, added them wrong," she explained softly. She looked up at him, concern crossing her features. "Do you need a nap?"

Kaz huffed out a breath. "I'm fine. You're just distracting me, that's all."

"We're going to ignore the fact that you think I'm distracting and instead focus on the fact that you have not slept in several days."

Kaz's nostrils flared slightly in indignation. Before he could speak, however, Y/N cut him off. "Kaz, I have known you since I was eleven. I'm also not fucking blind. Yes, I know you are essentially running a mafia at age seventeen. Yes, I know you are under pressure. Yes, I know there is at any given moment a bounty on your head. Yes, I know I am sick and it is technically your job to take care of me. But can we please just make a deal or a truce or something in which you get some fucking rest?"

Kaz was quiet for a moment before the corner of his mouth twitched. "Always the mother hen for everyone except yourself."

She was startled into a laugh. "What can I saw, I was a born hypocrite."

Kaz did end up getting a couple hours of sleep, even if it was at Y/N's insistence.

However, he almost regretted it when Jesper barged in and, with a gleeful cackle, found them both sleeping in the same bed with one of his legs pressed up against hers - Kaz's version of flat-out cuddling.

Almost.