#anyway i am so sorry that i went on and on and on about this i am very passionate about it

[oatmealthighs]

plug!eren x blackfem!reader

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 contents: nsfw 18+, MDNI. reader indulges 🍃, eren is overprotective, public sex, maybe semi public? idk. daddy/mama usage. might be some slightly toxic dynamics. but nothing too serious. rushed ending cus i suck at endings 💔 a sequel full of fluff will be coming soon out of this.

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 author's note: omg i haven't posted in like months. but anyways what would i be without dropping the token plug!eren drabble. nothing too crazy, just some bathroom sex. also there are instances where there are texts but i got too lazy and didn't bother making texts out of them mwahahahaaa sorry in advance. this is barely proofread and not my best so if there are mistakes i am sorry. requests are open! also look out for a tengen x reader x wives fic coming really soon. like this week soon

the feeling of your phone buzzing in the back pocket of your true religion jeans whisked your attention away from the pearled blunt you had pinched between your fingers.

your glossy lips curled into a little smirk, your acrylics clicking at the keyboard of your screen.

you've been pushing eren's cute lil buttons all night. honestly all day... but you didn't feel bad for making him sweat. he's been trying you as of late.

you and eren were supposed to be spending some quality time together last night, and he was specifically supposed to be over your place by no later than 8:00. you had the whole shabang... bath and body works candle burning out, led lights on and set to the color purple, some of his favorite snacks and some dinner and dessert you had wrapped up for him that you had made earlier. you were planning on watching a show with him, giving him a scalp massage while he played his playstation that he always brought whenever he came over, and give him the best head he's ever received that night before riding him into the sunset, but all those plans went soiled. 8:00 came, and on the dot he had sent a text message about him having to go make a few more drop offs, then he'd come to you. 8 turned to 9, then 10:30, then 1... fucking... AM.

was it fucked up you didn't answer the door when he came knocking finally? kinda, but the guilt didn't last long when you thought about how he practically stood you up.

eren was a popular plug on the university you attended. you knew friday is usually the day that people were trying to cop, given it was majority people's payday and the weekend, but you were hoping that he would close up shop early just this one time for you. his clientele would live-- there were plugs by the dozen on campus. but eren knew wasn't none of them fucking with his shit. you weren't sure what other outcome you were expecting. he never turned his head away from possible income.

eren already knew he fucked up, but he knew ultimately in the end it was going to be worth it. the extra money was going to go into play towards his proposal to ask you to be his girlfriend, and no amount of your anger was going to get that out of him. he was prepared to keep his mouth shut, throw away the key, and take his lashings like a man. so when he was met with radio silence, he was flabbergasted.

when he pulled up to your crib and didn't get an answer from him knocking on your door and calling your phone, he figured you fell asleep and resulted in retreating to his abode. the next morning, when he woke up to find that you didn't respond to his apology texts from last night, it made him sit up in his bed and squint at his phone with crust-ridden eyes.

no response? it was so unlike you. usually you would respond with a barrage of text messages stating your feelings, or at the very least he'd get a passive-aggressive dry text from you. but to be met with nothing at all made his gut twist in a disgustingly vexing way.

he rubs at his temples, sending you a "good morning baby" text before opening the safari app and going to the local floral shop's delivery site.

later that afternoon, eren's sitting in his blacked out durango when he receives email confirmation that the flowers have been delivered, the low hum of the strong engine the only thing somewhat soothing his frazzled nerves. he made sure to get your favorite, and tried to ask them to incorporate your favorite color as much as possible.

he checks your location as he hits his blunt, releasing the smoke from his mouth and inhaling it through his nostrils. he already knows your home, having your schedule downpack. and you were. so why didn't you say anything about the flowers? did you not like them? he sends you a text, saying, "i sent you some flowers," staring at the screen and awaiting your response.

yess, you know he sent you flowers, and you loved them. you had gasped when you found them on your porch, bright and vibrant in color and smelling so freshly sweet. you had already cut the stems and put them in some warm water in a lovely vase. you almost wanted to text eren, to tell him how much you loved them and thank you, but the strong annoyance you had from last night still lingered. with a twist of your lips you disregarded your phone on the kitchen counter, humming a tune as you moved about the kitchen to prepare you a nice lunch.

eren releases a defeated sigh as he puts his jay out, not even in the mood to smoke anymore.

eren releases a defeated sigh as he puts his jay out, not even in the mood to smoke anymore. in defeat, he clicks off his phone, shifting his gear to drive to make more plays.

he spends the rest of the day pondering ways to possibly pull a conversation from you, and a lightbulb flickers in his head when he recalls you saying you were running low on weed. eren always gives you gas free of charge, one of the special privileges that comes with being his favorite girl. he opens his phone to text you again.

doechii's expressive voice flows through your speaker at a volume level most would call excessive. but you didn't care. anything to drown out the annoying pensive thoughts of eren's sexy little face. "i ain't a killer but don't push me, don't wanna have to turn a nigga guts into SOUP BEANS!" no, really, doechii.

your phone vibrates on your vanity as you rummage through your closet for a cute outfit to wear tonight, striding over to your phone with nimbleness. you figured it'd be hitch, since you and her were accompanying each other to the kickback tonight and she was asking either what time you wanted to go or what you were wearing. your hypothesis was proven incorrect when you saw eren's name on your notification wall instead. just him asking if you wanted to him to drop off some more weed for you.

your heart twinged ever-so-softly at the thought of you ignoring your baby. you missed him. it was embarrassing to say this was the longest you went without talking to him. but how would he know you were serious if you just gave in now?

you wanted to respond and tell him you were cool. hitch was bringing the weed tonight. but you refrained, if anything that would get him all the more riled up. eren doesn't like you smoking others weed, his reasoning being he doesn't "trust their product." he was so sexy when he was protective. you remember when you told him you copped from someone else when he had to go off campus for a little bit to see his family, and he spent a half hour inspecting it on the scale with his phone flashlight.

eren let out an irritated growl after constantly checking his phone for 10 minutes, still no reply from you in his notifications. he wanted to tell you you were dragging it, but he knew you weren't. you had every right to be pissed with him given he had promised you this quality time and swore he would make time for you. you were never a stickler for too much attention, but with eren always on the run it was easy for him to neglect you. he's been getting better at it though. until last night.

connie's name flashes across eren's phone screen. he slides the answer button right and lets his car sync the call to the radio. "yo."

"what's good, man. you coming to the kickback tonight? it's gonna be at jean's place." eren rolls his neck until he hears it pop. he knows you'll be there.

"yeah, i might come. today's been slow. don't got nothin' else to do."

"damn, i know that voice. what'd you do this time?"

eren weakly chuckles at connie's intuition. "what can i say, business was booming like crazy last night. we were supposed to hang out but my phone just kept ringing."

connie let out a long sigh over the line. "typical eren, never knows when to close shop." he pauses. "you know you're the asshole, right?"

"yeah," eren groans, shutting his car off and putting his phone on speaker. "i know. i plan on making it up to her."

"yeah, how? surely not with some weed and dick." connie snorts. "[name]'s a nice girl, you plan on locking it down with her anytime soon? i see the way floch be looking at her."

"he wouldn't dare," eren denies, the simple thought of it just making his eye twitch. while you and eren weren't official, basically everyone in the friend group and the vicinity knew y'all were on each other bad. but some assholes just didn't respect boundaries. he noticed floch's gaze would linger on you a little longer than he deemed appropriate. how they would trail your body. he noticed the way his cheeks would blush when you would speak to him in passing or make small talk.

"i dunno, man," connie instigated, smugness in his voice. "but, bring a quarter with you. it's on me, i'm gonna zelle you."

"just send me $50." eren and connie exchange a few last words before they end the call, leaving eren in silence as he stares at the gray wall of the parking garage he was parked in. he didn't know what he was gonna do about you.

eren always tended to look the sexiest when you were mad at him, or he was upset with you. he always would wear his hair down, taupe tresses brushing his broad shoulders. he'd always wear a black tee and some baggy sweatpants that always had you imagining what it was he had underneath. it was nothing you haven't seen, but it was always a pleasant surprise.

you felt your defiance wavering when he and all is glory walked in to jean's house, high as fuck. you swore you could smell his ysl cologne from across the room.

"you okay girl?" sasha questions, her eyebrows pinching in concern as she leans into your eyesight. you blink your mascara coated lashes, giving her a smile.

"yeah, my man just walked in. he always looks so good when im pissed at him."

"it's a trap. don't fall for it." hitch scoffs, her hazel eyes trained on the blunt she was busy rolling. her thighs were squeezed together to keep her carebear rolling tray in place. "don't even look his direction."

"i forget hitch is such a hard-ass. how does marlo manage," ymir jokes. historia chuckles, her head resting against her girlfriend's broad shoulder.

as their conversation goes on, your eyes can't help but find eren again through the decent amount of people crowding the bottom floor of the house, watching him interact with connie and hand him a bag of what you assumed to be cannabis. his turquoise eyes cut across the room, and you know he's looking for you. you look away before any eye contact can happen. when you feel eyes burn into your skin, you know he spots you.

the night involves you acting as if he doesn't exist, keeping your back turned and acting like you're too busy to acknowledge your phone notifications. when you finally light the blunt hitch pearled, you know eren texts you asking where did you get that. you chuckle to yourself as your thoughts were confirmed when you snuck a peek at your phone.

eren feels anger welling in his body as he watches you from a safe distance, lounging against the wall and his eyes never leaving you. you knew what you were doing at this point. wearing them jeans that made your ass sit so perfect and a crop top that teased at your skin and your belly button piercing. your hair was in curls, and your glittery lip gloss shone in the low light of the room. he knew you probably had on his favorite perfume too. that vanilla one he loved so much.

"just go talk to her dude," connie yells over the aggravatingly loud jersey mixed song that was booming through the surround sound, his words slightly slurred from the drink he's been sipping on. eren furrows his thick brows as he hits his spliff, watching the tip burn bright orange as he shuts his eyes for a moment. "and you better hurry. i think tonight's the night floch makes his move."

"connie, shut the fuck up." eren's tone is firm and warning as he feels the vein in his neck rising to the surface of his skin. he finally opens his eyes, glancing at you, and what he sees makes his stomach cave and everything around him turn red.

floch, with his ugly fucking haircut and that ugly dangling earring had the audacity to be all up in your glory, smiling sheepishly as you were saying something to him. he doesn't know what you were saying, your back was to him, but the way your head swayed and your hands were moving he knew you were talking.

honestly eren was never this defensive of someone before. maybe it was your constant insistence of you being fine on your own. "boy, i'm grown," you'd say to him. it only made his instinct to protect you grow stronger.

he knew well you could handle your own. but how fucking dare him?! it's like floch was begging for an ass whooping!

he wasn't actually. he was begging for you to send him the homework answers for your chem class. "not gonna lie floch, i haven't even looked at that shit yet," you admit with a shrug, your lips pulled into a friendly smile.

floch groans as he rubs the back of his neck. "i'm for sure gonna flunk that class. i might just say fuck it and retake it next year."

"not if i can help it," you interject, furrowing your brows. "we pass together, we fail together. i'll send you the answers on groupme tomorrow when i finish."

floch pumps his fist. "man, you're the fucking best, [name]. if you weren't in there i dunno what i'd–"

a hard body brushes past floch, harshly and intentionally slamming his shoulder into theirs. "hey, man, what the–"

you smell eren before you see him, wearing that delicious cologne that's stained into your bed sheets. you look up to find him looking down at you, fire in his sea green irises as he glares at you.

you feign oblivion, lifting an eyebrow at him. "hey," you speak first.

"why haven't you been responding to my texts." his voice is curt, but still soft nonetheless. you feel your girls looking at you intently to see how you were going to play this.

"been busy, sorry," you respond, not sounding much too apologetic.

eren cuts his eyes to the right to see floch still standing there, much to his distaste, a look of confusion plastered across his face. "you need somethin'?" he asks him, a foreign, cutting edge to his question.

"i was just trying to ask her about the homework, dude," floch bites back defensively, taking the smallest step back.

your dainty hand trails up to grab eren's forearm, your soft, irreplicable touch quelling his aggravation. you swear you could feel his taut muscles relax at your contact, knowing he was probably deprived. so dramatic.

"eren, calm down," you reprimand him gently, but sternly. you gave floch an apologetic glance. "sorry, floch. see you tuesday."

floch nods, his auburn eyebrows creased in the middle as he glanced at eren, then back at you, before departing. in tandem, you let go.

"what's your problem," you seethe, but not loud enough for your friends to hear. "you damn near made that boy shit his pants."

eren sucked his teeth, closing his eyes to roll them as he clenched his jaw. "why are you ignoring me, [name]," his low voice is strained, constricting his internal anger to the best of his ability. his high was blown, the music was too loud, you smelled and looked too good, it was all too much.

you place a hand on your hip, your beautiful eyes passive, but holding a glint of hurt behind them. "just collect your breath. i don't wanna talk about it here... even though you know what the problem is-"

"yo, [name], wanna hit this again?" saved by the bell.

"yes, pleaseeee," you drawl. you turn on heels, but not before telling eren, "i'll see you later."

shortly after eren departed to god knows where, and you got high as hell, was when you received that text. and you don't know if it was the marijuana making you fuzzy and horny, the growing urge to just be in his arms, or what, but you complied.

as you brushed and weaved between drunken bodies, you couldn't subdue the underlying feelings of anxiety that swelled in your chest. you didn't know what to expect. but you knew one thing for certain, you were gonna give eren a piece of your mind tonight.

when you finally made it to the bathroom door, you released a breath you didn't even realize you were holding, shaking yourself of your jittery nerves before your knuckles rapped against the hollow wood of the door.

it wasn't even three seconds before eren cracked the door, and before you could say anything, you were yanked in.

you squealed at his presentation of strength, the butterflies in your stomach downward-diving straight to your core. "well, damn! what happened to hello? how are you?!"

eren ignored your playful reprimanding, instead using the time to soak and drink you in. you were so pretty, fussing at him like that. the way your glossy lips twisted as you spoke on about nothing relevant, the way your hair swayed with every movement you made. every muscle in his body urged him to kiss you, breathe you in.

"whatcha call me in here for? it's hot as hell..." you murmured, leaning against the cool wood of the door in attempt to catch your breath.

eren was quiet as he loomed on the opposite side of the bathroom, half-lidded cyan eyes carefully trained on you. you lifted your eyebrows with a shake of your head, prompting him to go on, your arms crossed against your glittery chest. "you're so pretty," he hums, a side smirk playing at his lips, showing his pretty white teeth that you wish you were nibbling on you just about right now.

"can't smooth-talk your way out of everything, eren," you resisted with a strain in your voice, turning to face the mirror to the left of you instead of him. "i'm still upset with you."

"rightfully so," eren agrees, slowly closing the distance between the two of you, backing you against the cool oak wood of the bathroom door. "'m sorry baby, you know i love spending time with you more than anything in this world–"

"i beg to differ," you interject. eren rests his eyes as he clenches his jaw, withholding a sigh. "all i asked was that you put me first for one night... and you couldn't even do that."

"baby, listen to me." eren's large hand engulfs yours, the warmth of his palm spreading through your limbs like wildfire. "words can't even begin to express how deeply sorry i am. i know i fucked up... i know. but, i had reason i've been wanting to work a lot more often as of late." he pauses. he couldn’t possibly pop his question in a bathroom at connie’s party. you’d hate him ten times more than you already do in his moment.

you cock your brow, looking up at him through those pretty lashes that framed your eyes so well. “i’m waiting, eren.”

he sucks in a deep breath, making the sound he usually makes when he’s about to say something you don’t like. “just… trust me. okay?”

that was enough to make you head for the door, reaching out to twist at the knob before he grabs at your wrist. “man, move,” you mutter, over the bullshit. you were over it all: the lies, the empty promises. and you were especially over being crowded in this bathroom with him, because you felt your resolve faltering with each passing second you remained in his presence. you felt like an animal resisting every primal instinct and bone in your body, begging you to let him touch you. it was borderline pathetic.

“you aren’t going anywhere, [name].” he meant that in more ways than one.

“how much you wanna bet?”

the frustrated glint in his aquamarine eyes and the knit in his thick brows made your knees give.

“ummm, have you guys seen [name]?” hitch asks after a good thirty minutes fly by since you first departed the group, skating her eyes around the living room with a quizzical glance.

ymir snorts. “you already know she ran off with that boy,” she exhaled the smoke she was holding in her chest out towards the ceiling, running her long fingers through historia’s golden locks. “wouldn’t be surprised if she already dipped off with him.”

not quite. instead, you and eren were still in the bathroom, your ass on the bathroom counter and your head resting against the mirror as eren was crouched before you, low to the ground as he slurped at your pussy like a man starved. he looks up at you from his place between your thighs, tongue flicking at your swollen clit before taking it into his mouth to suck on it whole. you let out a breathy, high pitched moan, your eyes rolling behind your closed eyelids as eren gazed up at you with hearts in his eyes. you were always so fucking beautiful, whether you were mad at him, grinning at him, or cumming for him.

“fuuuck, i think i’m bouta cum again,” you whimper, your eyebrows pinched as your orgasm brewed at a slow boil within the pit of your stomach. you already left your mark all over the marble sink, leaking down your thighs, and all over eren’s chin. but when was that ever enough to satiate his thirst?

“do it, baby,” he breathes, french kissing your pussy before speaking again. “you know i want it.”

“get it outta me, then,” you retort, a sexy simper pulling at your lips, and the darkened glare he have you through heavy eyelids made your pussy squeeze.

his big hands grip your thighs, blunt nails digging in your skin as he begins rocking your lower body up and down, sliding his long tongue from between your pussy lips to your ass with each bounce. you let out a squeal of surprise, your pink toes wriggling as he just kept doing it, over and over and over. you hear him, moaning with each stride, reveling in the saccharine taste of you. his dick felt like it was bouta break, restricted to his boxer briefs, and he felt the sticky precum leaking on his thigh. he needed to fuck you. but he always prioritizes you over all.

your orgasm bust inside you, your pussy profusely contracting as your juices coated eren’s face. “fuck, yeah,” he encourages in you, his voice in a low growl of satisfaction. he didn’t stop, cleaning you up and slurping your pussy clean. you flinched as he left a final loving kiss to your aching clit, and he chuckled as he stood to his feet. your eyes couldn’t help but look at his crotch, you couldn’t help but smirk at the prominent tent of his stiff dick being held hostage in his sweatpants. “turn around for me. i want you to see me fuck you.”

you slid off off the counter, ringing your panties off the ankle they were hanging on to, before turning around, leaning against the sink and arching your back. you looked back at him, gazing at him tauntingly. “whatchu waiting for?”

“cool it,” he warns you playfully, his thumbs hooking into the bands of his sweats. "don't bite off more than you can chew."

"i've had mouthfuls of you. i promise you i can chew."

"look at the mirror."

you turn back forward, looking at eren in the reflection. he was so pretty, his hickory locks tousled around yet still framing his face beautifully. his bottom lip was pinched between his teeth as he shifts his pants to fall below his knees before rolling his briefs down his thighs. he lifts his tshirt up, showcasing his tan abs that had a slight shimmer of perspiration as he readies the head of his dick at your opening. then, with steady hips and a deep breath, he pushes forward.

him putting his cock inside of you was such an irreplicable feeling, you don't know how to explain it. to feel his girth stretching you, giving you a burn that was so deliciously good, always made your head spin. you whine, pushing your ass back just a little bit to help eren bottom out in you. he cusses under his breath, grounding himself with a hand on your ass cheek as his pelvis met flush against your tailbone.

you felt his dick twitching inside you, and you couldn't help but let out a satisfied moan as you let your head drop against your arms folded over the sink. eren grit his teeth, his jaw clenching as he tries to regain his composure. you were so warm, so wet, so greedy judging by the way your pussy squeezed him like a vice. any sudden movements and he was bound to nut in you.

suddenly, the bathroom knob jiggles, followed by pounding against the door. you jump, your muscles stiffening as fear tickled at your tummy. eren hisses, his nails digging crescents in your cocoa buttered skin at you tightening around him. "uh, anyone in there? i gotta piss!" connie. what are the fucking odds.

"uhh, give me a few minutes!" you yell, your voice uncharacteristically shrill from your newborn anxiety as you looked back at eren with wide eyes. "maybe we should-"

you were shut up with one, heavy stroke, eren almost completely unsheathing himself before bottoming out in you again. your words died in your throat, replaced with a gasp.

"uh, okay...?" the end of connie's okay drawls up in the end. "wait, [name], is that you? are you straight in there?"

"yes... fuck, yes!" you sputter out, squeezing your eyes shut as eren picks up his speed a bit, but not his power. he was gonna do you a favor and not fuck you too dumb in here. he wants you to at least have some chance of walking out of here on your own two feet. "i'm fine!"

"okay, okay! i'll just go upstairs." after a few seconds, you hear connie shifting away, but that genuinely wasn't your main focus. eren was rolling his hips, making sure the tip of his dick hit that sweet spot that made you sing with every. single. thrust. your head was down, resting against the counter, your eyes stuck in the back of your head as you took every inch of him with grace. your moans were mere whimpers, trying your best to muffle them with the inside of your arm.

eren sees his phone vibrate from his place on the hanging shelf beside him, and he smirks to himself when he takes a brisk glance at the banner:

convict: [name]'s in the bathroom. she didnt sound too great so u should prolly check in on her

eren groans under his breath, leaning forward to mold his abdomen against the curvature of your spine. that motion was enough to make him feel like he was touching your stomach. "what are you doing?" he purrs, flicking his tongue out to lick at the shell of your ear. he feels you shiver, your shoulders shuddering as a sex-soaked cry escaped your lips. "i said i want you to watch me fuck you. why are you hiding that pretty face?"

you had nothing but a pathetic moan to offer as a response, and he scoffed to himself, a smirk curling at his lips. he stands straight, both of his hands settling at your lovehandles as he begins sending you to poundtown. the impact of his hips against your ass was loud, and there was no doubt that if anyone came to the door they would hear you getting the shit fucked out of you. "be a big girl, mama," he muses. his hand reaches for your curls, gripping your tresses to pull your head up and back. you squealed, your eyebrows pinching at the burning sensation. you mustered up the courage to flutter your eyes open to be met with the godly sight of your man, looking down at you throw those thick eyelashes, his cheeks tinting pink from the overwhelming heat of the small, crammed space. " watch me while i fuck you."

his wish is your command as you watch him through teary eyes, licking your lips at the feeling his hand snaking up the arch of your spine to come around and grip your chin. the pads of his fingers rest on your cheeks, slightly squeezing as he snaps his hips against you from behind. his eyes are boring into you, clouded by lust with a hint of adoration, watching the way your face contorts into pleasure-ridden expressions. he's watching the way your plump lips wrap around his thumb, the way your titties bounce with every deep thrust and threaten to spill out your victoria's secret bra and tank top, the way that fat ass jiggled and made waves every time he drilled his dick in you. you were perfect. from your pretty face, to your loving heart that had a padlock with his initial on it, to your gushing pussy that would squirt all over him just for him.

"this pussy is so perfect," eren hums, looking down in awe as he watches the way you cream and squeeze on his shaft. "it's like it was made just for me. was it, baby? this is just my pussy, right?"

"you know that, daddy," you slur, feeling your orgasm coming to a head. you were so ready to release, your pussy just aching to cum. you hear him give a chuckle, his hips speeding up in tandem.

"i think you're ready to cum now. i want it all on my dick. can you do that for me, princess? or is that too much to ask of you?"

but before you could even muster a response, it was as if a tsunami hit your pussy, because the way your juices sprayed against his upper thighs was a damn shame. eren lets out a moan of appreciation, biting his lip as he lets your orgasm ride out and coat his dick. he gives your ass a few appreciative cracks, making you tighten around his cock until you managed to collect your breath.

eren slowly begins unsheathing himself from you, his dick still solid as concrete but he honestly wasn't concerned with getting his own nut off right now. after all, this wasn't going to be the last time he was to be in you tonight. as soon as he takes you back to his place, he was gonna fuck you through the mattress and the bedframe.

...

"girl, there you are! you've been missing for like, an hour!" you bumped into hitch on your way towards the front door, eren being your guide but you squeezed his hand to let him know to stop. she shifts her eyes to him, then looks back at you with an "oh-i-see" look. "you headed home?"

"yeah, eren's gonna take me."

"okay, be safe," hitch adjusts your shirt, tugging the top hem over the shadows of your peeking bra. "call me when you get in."

"she will." eren assures hitch, and she nods, the two of you slipping away from the crowd and going off into the night.

[thewertsearch]

GT: Well ive thought about it. GT: Even went downstairs to check the great vaulty doodad. GT: And predictably the infernal contraption is nowhere to be found. TT: Well yeah, Jake. TT: That's sort of the point. TT: Thrill of the hunt and all.

Ok, I think I get what's going on here.

Jake's Dreambot is probably the last remaining source of uranium on the entire island, and the AR is turning its retrieval into a game of hide-and-seek.

I'm not sure why Jake hadn't already retrieved this particular chunk of uranium, especially since he has no use for the robot himself. Maybe he was keeping it operational for sentimental reasons?

TT: I thought you liked to manicure the image of a dude who shits his pants over a good adventure. […] GT: I mean i wouldnt put it in a way like that or come out against a solid policy of clean trousers. But yes adventure is awesome. GT: I just prefer the idea of adventures which i can actually win.

Jake's picturing a LIVING GRANDSON SMACKDOWN - and, frankly, so am I. That robot's being piloted by an absurdly advanced AI, and I'm pretty sure Jake doesn't have any combat experience.

Winning, in this case, is shorthand for 'waiting for the AR to take pity on you'.

TT: It seems there is a 76.10395784% chance you are pussying out on me. Are you pussying out on me, Jake?

Now, to be fair, that one would only work if Jake had agreed to this challenge beforehand. After all, you can't pussy out of something you never pussied into.

GT: It seems it seems it seems!!! GT: It seems there is a million percent chance that you say it seems way too much and do it just to sound more like a lame robot from a movie and also probably just to piss me off! […] TT: Have you ever stopped to think that while I may be bound to processes inside the glasses of a real and incredibly cool guy, my algorithms in cognitive totality comprise a conscious entity not far short of the experiential and emotional complexity of a human being? GT: Oh malarkey. GT: YOU ARE A TIN CAN. ROBOTS DONT HAVE FEELINGS.

Jake, it's been sixty seconds since you complained about him pretending not to have feelings.

TT: I do have feelings. And you're shitting on them. TT: It sucks. GT: Oh. GT: Um. GT: Im sorry then if thats the case.

Well, that's something, at least - but I don't think Jake really understands why the AR is offended, so I'm worried it's just going to happen again in their next argument.

How long has the Responder existed for, anyway? Jake seems familiar with his schtick, so he's probably not brand-new - but at the same time, Jake's surprised apology makes it sound like the AR has only recently started to express feelings.

Maybe the AR has existed for years, but hasn't been sentient for years. Like, it really did just start as a primitive response script, but Bro kept uploading more of his personality onto it, until it slowly began to think and feel. Fascinating idea, I have to say.

GT: It can just be difficult to drum up sympathy for a program that presents itself as an impostor so often. GT: Maybe if you werent so ready to insist you were the genuine article all the time? Or didnt make it so confusing for me… GT: I think it would be best if we henceforth treated you as a totally distinct… uh… THING from my buddy.

Hey, it's not like the AR can stop imitating Bro. Even if he wanted to have his own identity, he's currently bound to the response script of someone else's Pesterchum account. When he talks, he's forced to do it through Bro's handle.

All evidence points to the Responder being a thinking, feeling being with his own inner world - which makes it a little ethically dubious to force him to be Bro's secretary. The guy shouldn't be treated as a bargain-bin Bro, the same way that Davesprite wasn't a backup Dave. We all saw how that ended, and it sure wasn't pretty.

[katerinaaqu]

You are the most welcome! As you see I care for these more than what's healthy hahaha!

Hehehe that is because I think especially for Athena people wanna translate one over the other. The word γλαύκος (glaukos) means "light blue" short of like a grayish blue or almost white blue. That is also used to express "shine" so people prefer to say "shiny eyed Athena" instead. Personally I do not think the one cancels the other. Now it is the OTHER meaning of her eyes that is more interesting. That the word γλαύκα (glauka) means "owl" so that could also be "owl-eyed Athena" or "with the eyes of an owl". That could also be "wise" or smart-eyed as well in one way. Again in my mind the one is not mutually exclusive of the other (unlike the word "xanthos" that is referring to colors of a general spectrum oftentimes, the word "glaukos" as grayish light blue can still be translated as "shiny" and the "owl" part could be descriptive of the way her eyes look as well. If that makes sense. As opposed again to another color; cyan, which means of course "very dark blue" but it also is used as a subsitute for "black" which was also used in ancient greek art as well. So when someone for example reads the text where Odysseus's beard is described as "cyan" obviously the logical assumption is that it is called "black" and not "blue" hahahaha but artists go wild on Poseidon who is also referred to "of cyan hair" As for the amazingly poetic form of "wine-colored sea" one only needs to look at a cup of wine to realize what that means;

(Yes that is my cup and yes I drink wine from ceramic cups because I think the taste fits better and yes I poured it for demonstration and not sorry! XD)

Anyways as you see the color and the texture especially when seen through a non-diaphanous cup is this black, dark color, the essence of no end to its depth. That is what the Greeks saw when out the sea; a black-deep color and Homer couldn't find a better word for it honestly! There even was a guy swimming out the sea in the rain and made a short reel on instagram or tiktok about it and man it really fitted! Oh no doubt for centuries indeed! Poetic words, the way they fit with the metric system and all!

He really did and man yeah people often forget right? Agamemnon was his brother and arguably a father figure given the heavy intrigue between their family members in particular Agamemnon and his twin brother Thyestes. The family was a mess and cursed through the line of Tandalus. Their family is an endless rouse of betrayal, incest, murder and even cannibalism and the cycle of violence didn't end there for Menelaus also suffered the disgrace of his wife running away with Paris, his only daughter Hermione sent to Clytemnestra for keeping but Clytemnestra also lost her own interest in all other of her children and family when Agamemnon was forced by the gods to sacrifice his own daughter Iphigenia. She neglected or straight out abused all her other children. In Euripides Orestes we even see Orestes, Menelaus own dear nephew, going mad, he killed Aegisthus and Clytemnestra and in the play by Euripides he even takes Hermione hostage before the very eyes of Menelaus, holding a sword at her throat and he even went to kill Helen as well. Yeah the family was not doing okay! Yup! Aegisthus was the son of Thyestes with his own daughter. Thyestes was furious because Atreus, the father to Agamemnon and Menelaus, conspired with Thyestes's wife and killed his children and fed them to Thyestes! Yeah I am not kidding. Thyestes found out and was furious! Thus the whole thing with his daughter. Aegisthus was nourished with hatred for the Atreides and exiled them. They found shelter in Sparta and Tyndareus where Tyndareus helped them to get Mycenae back. Agamemnon married Clytremnestra as an arrangement to seal the deal and Menelaus was of course one of the suitors of Helen. Aegisthus was sent away and basically he came back as a lover to Clytemnestra and as a help to the murder of Agamemnon and later he ruled Mycenae for a little while till Orestes came back and killed him. So yeah Menelaus had no real slack in his life either! I even made a random post about him and Odysseus:

So...point and case. I even made some random thoughts on how TRULY DEPRESSED Menelaus was you can see here:

Yup it does make sense doesn't it? The Homeric Poems are first and foremost two giant songs that were meant to be sung in public thus the repetitive lyrics (pretty much like refraign and couple nowadays) and the whole thematic here and there that takes into consideration people who arrive later and need to be pitched in the plot. Yes I believe people make the mistake to think that the homeric poems were somehow books or novels thus they do not like literary choices such as the ones above. But once you see it as a song, all becomes clear doesn't it?

I couldn't have said it better and you brought yet another beautiful example with Sherlock Holmes! Yes it oftentimes pains me that nowadays we read these contexts and immediately people assume "ha! Homoerotic themes!" or "ha! Gay!" while we can as you said, might as well lament on the fact that platonic relationships are not written as warmly anymore! As if being warm with someone means romance only! And I love it how indeed people assume that the past was just a cold and unfriendly place where people were afraid of their emotions and then Homer is there like "REALLY!?" Honestly I have seen more emotion pouring freely in these old stories than anything written nowadays that we claim that we learn to express emotions! And these ancient texts use the most beautiful language ever! I couldn't agree more! Which is why I try when I write my fanfictions and retellings to bring it back! Dunno it bothers me as much as it bothers you!

It is only mentioned in one or two parts in Odyssey so it is understandable. It is easily forgettable given that even Homer didn't elaborate more for that and we have more post-homeric sources talk on that but yup! Prophecies are thrown on the table here and there and even then there is some talk in regards to that and yes given the situation maybe that wouldn't do much indeed because as you said someone came to Telemachus, Athena herself and Telemachus KNEW in the end that it was a god that was advising him and still he had his douts. It was SUCH a depressive moment to him.

Oh absolutely the law of Xenia was the primary reason! In fact I had replied to someone a long time ago on that. You can see my reply here:

it is that as well as the combination of the fact that technically Telemachus was not yet the official ruler so the suitors, ironically, were in theory ODYSSEUS'S guests rather than his own. Plus I remind you that Telemachus was 20 years old. The suitors arrived when he was much younger, at the age of roughly 16 years old, maybe 17. Telemachus has no experience in warfare despite the fact that it was proven he was a capable warrior and he had no real authority. He couldn't do much and obviously he couldn't start murdering people in his own house no matter how much he often wished to. Odysseus arrived, a man baked well in violence and war, experienced war veteran and strong warrior and above all with the blessings of a goddess for it so that made the slaughter possible.

I couldn't have said it better! It was in one way the return of Odysseus (although arguably not his last trip unfortunately for him since he has to go to the mainland and fulfill the prophecy of Tiresias) but it certainly was the first for Telemachus and this parallel traveling I think as you brilliantly stated is a beautiful and sweet thing and the way they both met after the end of their journey as well, like meeting in the middle! Man it absolutely is worth the tears!

You are very sweet! Thank you!

Oh I understand and arguably tumblr is a jungle! I understand completely!

I am honored to hear that! If anything it is the greatest reward to hear that someone gets inspired so! ^_^ I honestly hope to engage with you in conversations in the future because you honestly show great sensitivity and deep will to understand! And explore on your own and form your opinions as well which is the most important part when you read the texts; be aware of their context, open your mind to other horizons and finally form your own thoughts and feelings on them! That is what alltime classics do!

Telemachus is so much stronger than me for real. Cause if I had traveled for days, by sea AND land, arrived at the palace of my father's friend and my mother's cousin to humbly ask if they know anything about my missing father and instead of just fucking telling me already, this mf started a monologue about how gay he is for my dad and about the time he captured a God that granted him wishes three, I'd already be telling him to Hurry The Fuck Up. IT'S BEEN TEN YEARS, I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY.

But if the same motherfucker then turned around and told me that he had known FOR YEARS NOW that my dad is trapped on an island AND THE MOTHERFUCKER DIDN'T TELL ANYONE!!!! NOT A SINGLE LETTER!!! I would have already strangled Menelaus with that fucking blond hair of his in front of his wife and children, unhelpful son of a bitch.

[8mks1tm]

my baby!

release date - 8:30 am, 1/21/25

tags - soft!mingi x reader

warnings - none just fluff

wc - 1.04k

genre - fluff

dividers by - @bernardsbendystraws

a/n - intro being released today!

There’s nobody mingi prioritized more than he did that of you. his baby, to say the least. sure, some could say his behaviors were a bit over dramatic in the way he protected you like glass everywhere you went. but, in his opinion, there were way more than just five love languages. he thought his ‘overbearing’ and protective ways were a love language in itself, and nobody could tell him otherwise.

one day, the two of you are preparing to go out. nothing seems to be out of the ordinary when he’s helping you get your heels on, or when you’re driving to the restaurant. not even when you guys are ordering your food or eating it. in mingi’s eyes. the night was going to end as normal, and there was nothing to worry about.

but, as the two of you are leaving, you tell him that you want to get a few drinks at the bar before you head out. mingi shakes his head. “i have to drive us home, baby. i can’t have any drinks.” “well, at least let me have a few. you can have a virgin martini and i can have a… martini martini,” you argue, tilting you head. you tug slightly on mingi’s shirt sleeve. “c’mon, one drink can’t hurt.”

mingi can’t help but give in, ‘specially not with you looking at him like that. “fine, go on. i’ll pay.”

so mingi walked over to the bar with you, without a second thought. “hey, two martini’s. uh, make one virgin, please,” mingi muttered to the bartender. The bartender stood there for a second, and then looked over at you. “and what can i get you, pretty girl?” he says, leaning on the counter. he was so clearly hitting on you, ineffectively of course. “uh…” you look at mingi anxiously. “he’s ordering for both of us.” the situation should’ve ended there. the bartender should’ve just made the goddamn drinks, and then they should’ve just left. but of course it didn’t.

“mmm, i’m sure you can order for yourself. something better than a virgin martini, yes?” mingi could see that you were getting over whelmed, so he stepped in immediately. “the virgin martini’s for me. because i’m driving my girlfriend home to our shared apartment,” he says, making it very clear that you were taken. “wasn’t askin’ you, bro. let the pretty girl speak for herself, hm?” “if she did, she would tell you to your face that she doesn’t want you,” mingi snarks. “now do your damn job and get us those martini’s, you creep.” the bartender turns away and starts to make the drinks with a grumble, but then you cut in. “no, that’s okay. i don’t trust his drinks anyway.” mingi follows you out with sharp eyes, making sure to take note of everything, just in case some other creep tries to make a move on you.

he notices how upset you seem when you get in the car, and he knows he should say something about it. “is something wrong, princess?” you roll your eyes, sighing. “i was just… y’know, kinda excited about those martinis. its been awhile since we’ve gone out and shared drinks. i just wanted to have that again, and that guy ruined it.” “aw, my baby…” mingi coos, resting a hand on your knee, rubbing it a bit to comfort you. “hey, we can make martinis when we get home, ‘kay?” you shake your head, looking out the window at the stars outside. “i appreciate it, but it’s just not the same, you know?” mingi sighs. he wants to help, but he doesn’t know how. there’s no point in trying to go to another bar, because that mood is definitely ruined at this point.

“i’m sorry, baby. i wish i could help somehow.” you smile at mingi. “it’s okay, mingi, ‘s not your fault. I just hate it when creeps like that ruin our night.”

when the two of you got home, mingi tried his best to cheer you up, and you were trying your best to make it clear that you weren’t upset with him specifically. and of course he knew that. but that didn’t make the night any easier to get through. “hey, princess, you wanna watch a movie… or something?” you looked at him with tired eyes and he immediately regretted even asking that. “no, baby, i’m just gonna go to bed.” mingi sighs and gets up from the couch wrapping his arms around your waist gently and nuzzling into your neck. “hey, ___?” you bring a hand up to his hair. “...yeah?” “i’m sorry. for all this. for ruining your night, for ruining your mood. this, this is my fault. should’ve shut that guy down before he even had the chance to go that far.” you immediately shake your head. “don’t apologize. none of this is your fault. i’ll be in a better mood in the morning, i’m sure.” mingi kisses your shoulder, and then looks up at you with big boba eyes. “i can take you shopping tomorrow, princess. d’you think that’ll cheer you up?” you smile as you look up at him - i mean, who wouldn’t. “you don’t gotta do that, babes.” he nods. “i know. i still want to though. just to make you feel better, yes?” you laugh, reaching up to hold mingi’s fluffy cheeks. “yes, of course.” you can’t help but stare into each other’s eyes, and mingi swears he falls for you again, looking into your eyes like that. “alright,” mingi says with a breath. “let’s get to bed, hm?”

the two of you are laying together in bed, you’re scrolling on your phone whilst mingi is cuddled against your side, eyes closed and breathing slow. you weren’t paying much attention to him, fully engrossed in your phone. pinterest, tiktok, youtube, maybe a video game here and there.

though mingi told you not to have too much screen time before bed, you really couldn’t help yourself. i mean, come on, that amazon cart wasn’t going to fill itself, now was it?

you would’ve believed that mingi had already fallen asleep, with the way he was steadily breathing as he squeezed the air out of you if you didn’t hear him muttering;

“my baby…”

[ethtyn]

LET'S GO OUT WITH A BANG 🚦

taglist:

@ashiyn @single-malt-scotch @goodtimeswithetho @pebbltree @crabbunch @catmaidetho @amethyst-allium @stitchthesewords

sooooo ermm i guess i get to talk about this piece now YIPPEE

i am one of those people who's constantly trying to figure out what their own art style looks like LMFAO. i take frequent breaks from art due to mental health shit so it feels like every time i come back i'm trying to find my footing again.

that being said, i had a lot of caffeine yesterday and started this on a whim and it ended up being something i'm incredibly proud of. i think it helps that i've been redrawing old emotes for a friend's twitch channel, so figuring out which brushes i like right now was really helpful, and i ended up using my personal emote palette like...a lot. that pink in Etho's eye, the purple used for shading, most of the browns are all used in my own emotes. it's wild how much having colours already picked out streamlines things!

Etho is the one i started with, of course, and ended up being one that i went back to re-draw after i'd done...three? or four? more, because the sizing wasn't right and i wasn't happy with the posing. i still wish i could have conveyed him dipping his chin into his coat fluff a little better, but oh well. i thought of the little detail of him looking at Martyn's drawing at the last second (#ethtyn4life) and it made me laugh so i did it. points to you if you caught that!

Joel was the second - life!Joel has always been fey in my head, especially after that season when he just went batshit insane the second he turned red. can't explain it, that's just how it be. i tried to give him an air of subtle menace about him but i think he just looks sleepy 💀 i'd like to do these as individual, larger pieces at some point, so maybe i can work on that more then.

Grian was the third - he reminds me of a Lost Boy here and that wasn't intentional but the Lost Boys always kind of freaked me out and life!Grian's kinda freaky so i think it fits. his little smirk is so creepy and i love him.

i don't remember who i did next after this so we'll just go in order pfft

Bdubs is SO CUTE look at him. one of the few where i couldn't make a menacing expression work, and honestly with how good his profile turned out i barely mind. i did that side profile with no reference, y'all, idk what kind of crack i was on last night. what the hell. this was about the point where i started wanting to do little lore doodles for everybody so i added the clock face - i think it clashes with the red background but what can you do.

CLEOOOOOO CLEO CLEO. i LOVED drawing them, i think their design is one of my favourites of the bunch. her hair has always been snakes in my head and AGAIN i drew those with no reference, can you fucking believe that. i loved the little detail of some of the snakes poking at the people next to her, they're so cute hehe. also Cleo has freckles now, i'm so sorry but i don't make the rules. someone complimented the teeth in the reblogs and THANK YOU!! they're not quite anatomically correct but fuck it we ball and they look cool as hell anyway.

Martyn is so smug, i love him. points if you caught that he's looking at Cleo bc Double Life, i wanted to do something a lil different with him than just another straight up symmetry tool drawing and i think it fits. he is so eye-searing tho sir please tone it down.

Lizzie is fey just like her husband, and also she is smol. i don't think it's conveyed as well as i'd like here but i also didn't want her to look like a straight-up child so i did what i could. she is So Scary with those vacant blue eyes oh my god. and drawing her hair was sooooo fun i love long hair ahh

with Gem i basically smoothed out a rough design sketch i posted awhile back and i'm so proud of the little head cock she's got going on, she looks so cool. also her hair?? idk how i did that. i love her swoopy bangs so much.

Pearl is moth. Pearl will always be Moth. so she got lil antennae and big buggy eyes. drawing that hood was so satisfying, i used to try and draw Raven Teen Titans in high school and could never get the hood to look right so seeing this one come out perfectly was sooooo good. and of course had to include a teensy moon.

that's all i've got, i think - i feel myself crashing LMFAO. maybe at some point i'll come back and say more but here's this for now!

[mosquego359]

𖤐One Kiss and A Quidditch Match — Chapter 6: A Quidditch Rivalry𖤐

Prologue (recommended to read)

Chapter 5 (previous)

Pair: Cedric Diggory x Male Slytherin Reader

Word count: 2.7K words

Summary of the book: You and Cedric Diggory hate each other. It has always been this way. But everything changes one night when you kiss each other at a party. Now, it seems you can’t escape each other — from being partnered up in Herbology for an important project to having to help Cedric during the Triwizard Tournament.

Summary of the chapter: Professor Sprout requests that you help Cedric out and befriend him. You meet him in the library and things don't go as planned

Notes: Please comment anything I should change to improve this. Also, I am not British so I am not 100% sure how to correctly write people from the UK.

Content warning: A lot of curing.

!PLEASE DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE WITHOUT PERMISSION OR CREDITS TO ME!

...

“No.”

Professor Sprout sputtered, “Mr. (Surname)—”

“I said no,” you spat, despite how disrespectful that was, “I don’t want to be associated with him anymore! I know I agreed to partnering with him for Herbology, but look how well that went. I’m sorry but you’re quite mistaken if you believe we ever got along.” And with that, you turned on your heel and walked off

“Mr. (Surname)! Please calm down and listen,” she said, running after you. For a teacher, she didn’t have much authority, “I care about my students-”

“No you don’t. You only care about the Hufflepuffs and those who take interest in herbology. But not me. Why would you? I’m just this silly little Slytherin who loathes your beloved Cedric Diggory.”

“Of course I care about you!” Professor Sprout said, “I hold all of the students close to my heart whether you know it or not.”

You stop and swivel around to face her, “Then why do you want me to spend time helping the person I despise most in the school? If you really wanted the “best for us”, you wouldn’t want us clashing again.”

A short silence passed between the two of you. The stout woman sighed, “Sometimes, what’s best for someone isn’t evident.”

“What do you mean?” You huffed, your confusion and irritation obvious.

“We can’t have the top students in Year 6 constantly butting heads. It’s not even friendly competition; both you and Mr. Diggory are constantly at each other's throats, whether it’s helpful to the situation at hand or whether it bothers everyone!” She explained, “And now that you are 6th Years, you hold so much more influence over your houses. Every corner I turn, it seems that no one gets along if they’re from different houses!”

You frown, perplexed at what she was talking about. Maybe it was because you stuck close to your group and didn’t bother venturing to make new friends, but you’d never seen any conflict between Slytherins and Hufflepuffs. 

“I’m not actually aware of this, Professor.”

“Of course you’re not! You’re so engrossed in your rivalry with Cedric that you don’t notice how the problem’s spreading around campus,” Professor Sprout attempted to keep her voice soft as usual but it held a twinge of annoyance, “Now it’s time to grow up and forgive each other.”

You looked away, a bit irritated yet understanding where she came from. “Apologies, but I don’t like him enough to try and solve whatever’s going on. And, anyways, it’s been going on for a while, so it's kind of hard to forgive.”

“Well, do you even know how this whole deal started?” She asked.

The question made you pause, attempting to recall what caused you to hate him. You racked through your brain to find the root of the problem or even an interaction between the two of you before the start of your rivalry but your mind was blank. 

“I-I don’t know, Professor, it just seemed to always be that way.” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“You don’t even know the root of your problem and look at how your relationship with him turned out!” Professor Sprout responded, then more kindly, “It’s unfortunate; Cedric — Mr. Diggory — is a kind lad, and you two could have gotten along quite well. What a duo you would have made.”

“And���you’re saying that kids younger than us are fighting because of us?”

“Yes, that’s the main issue.”

“Oh. So I have to…talk to him nicely to fix this?”

“Well,” Professor Sprout chuckled, “It’s a tad bit more complicated than that, but in theory, it could work. And who knows, you might even make a friend…or more.”

You gave her a slightly judgemental look but didn’t confront her on anything, “Did Diggory agree to this or…?”

“Well, actually, I visited him right after the first task and he was the one that came to me for help. Not specifically for your help but he was never very good at puzzles and I thought that you could use this opportunity to make up. He found it an excellent idea.” She beamed.

The fact that Diggory thought of it as a good idea to speak to you was suspicious but Professor Sprout tended to be a little positive when summarising things so you didn’t think much of it. But your mind wandered to the kiss you shared at the party. The one that kept you up at night.

“Fine,” you sighed, giving in, “I’ll do it.”

“Really?” You nodded apprehensively. “Fantastic! I’ll schedule a date with him and inform you then. Thank you so much, (Name)—Mr. (Surname). Sorry! I have to go now, so I wish you a safe return to your dorm or wherever you may be heading.”

You smiled and waved her goodbye as she slowly backed away.

At around 6 PM, she came to you as you were looking for a book at the library. She informed you that Cedric wished to figure out the egg’s secret as quickly as possible, so they scheduled the meeting for tomorrow afternoon.

For the rest of the day, all night, and the next morning, you pondered on what you were going to say to him and felt generally nervous about the interaction. 

Your thoughts wandered to the kiss back at the party. It’s been over two months, and you still had it stuck in your head like a catchy song. Maybe you two could’ve been friends if not for the entire rivalry thing. Or more. The back of your neck grew warm at the thought. You quickly shook it out of your head.

As per usual, you informed Winnie (who reacted rather pleasantly to the news), Brian (who started theorizing the other possible reasons why Diggory wanted to meet with you) and Elsie (whom you felt you could trust and joined Brian in his speculation). 

You didn’t inform Alistair, though. You hadn’t forgiven him for his rudeness after the first Task of the Triwizard Tournament and generally didn’t feel you could trust him with something like this. He always seemed to dislike Cedric more than you ever had and never handled his emotions well.

So after class, you bade Winnie goodbye as you headed to the library where you expected Cedric to be.

You found him sitting in a corner by himself, back to the window where the glass rattled, the shimmering golden egg on the table next to a book he was reading. On the table lay a pile of books. You recognized a few about riddles and old treasures. Diggory seemed focused on the novel in front of him, hand in his hair. 

He looked so calm, so at ease, that you nearly forgot that you were supposed to hate him. Nearly.

The handsome Hufflepuff looked up as you approached him. His face was blank, but his eyes seemed to glare daggers into your own, taking you aback with how much hate was in that gaze. 

Diggory stood up and walked past you, “Follow me.”

You gave his back a perplexed look but followed him nonetheless. “Where are we going? Why aren’t you taking the egg? Answer me, Diggory! This isn’t about wanting to apologise and becoming friends, isn’t it?”

“I’d never be friends with someone like you.”

“Then what do you want?” You replied, slightly peeved at his response, and somewhere in your heart, you felt stupid and betrayed. Of course he wouldn’t be friends with you. “Where are we going? Respond or I’m leaving.”

With that, he swivelled to face you, causing you to nearly bump into him, “I challenge you to a one-on-one Quidditch match.”

You stared him down, finally getting a look at his outfit. What you thought as his school garments were actually his Quidditch uniforms, and with all the hints he gave you, you realised he was leading you to the Quidditch storage rooms where the brooms were kept.

You stepped away, feeling a bit weirded out. Earlier in the year, you would’ve probably accepted his challenge, but now, with the knowledge of the conflict between your houses and the turmoil of emotion clouding your head, you hesitated. And that hesitation gave Diggory the information he needed to get your answer.

“So you’re too scared for a competition?” he snarled.

“No, I’m just being logical.” you huffed, peeved, “It’s a tempest outside. Too dangerous to use our brooms.”

“So what? I don’t mind the extra difficulty.” Diggory looked you up and down, a cocky look in his eyes, “But it seems you do.”

The challenge triggered something in you, “I never said I refused. Get ready to get your ass beat, Diggory.” You spat his name at him and brushed past him to go to the Quidditch storage where you knew they kept extra brooms. Whatever hope of fixing the problems with the Houses vanished from your mind.

You were going to crush that motherfucker.

You grabbed your old broom — which you had given to the school for their own use — and stomped to the back door the Quidditch players used to leave unnoticed by other students. Along the way, you passed little to no students, most locked up in their dorms, cosying up by the fire as they watched the storm pass.

As you expected, Diggory was waiting for you, a confident look in his striking grey eyes. “You regret quitting, (Surname)?” he asked, eyeing you up and down.

Since you quit the team, you renounced your Quidditch uniform and stuffed it in the back of your closet back home instead of throwing it out. Maybe one of your cousins would grow up to love Quidditch. Who knows?

But now, you regretted your decision not to bring it to Hogwarts as you stood in your school cloak and warm uniform.

You huffed, “I’ll only regret if I lose to you, Diggory. Which would never happen, no matter how we play this game.” After a short yet intense pause, you added, “How do we do this with only two players?”

“Good question,” he said with a smirk and pulled out a small golden ball, “The goal isn’t to score points but to catch the Snitch. But for a little extra challenge, we also have to avoid the Bludgers.” He patted a case next to him.

A bead of sweat ran down your neck, and you silently gulped down your nervousness. “Sounds like you put the odds in your favour. Can’t wait to see the look on your face when I obliterate you.”

Diggory clicked his tongue, brows furrowing slightly as he pushed the backdoor open.

A gust of wind bludgeoned through, causing you to block your face with your arm. Rain splattered you in the face, and you turned it from the entrance.

“Are you sure this is safe, Diggory?” You asked, hesitant.

He handed you big goggles and put his own on his face. “An Impervius spell has been cast on them, so you’ll be able to see.” As you grabbed it, he added with a sly grin, “I can’t be beating you that easily.”

You shot him a glare as you put the goggles on your head. It certainly helped against the beating rain, but you kept flinching when it touched your face. You hated playing in shitty weather.

Diggory stepped outside, and you followed, closing the door behind you. You had to slow it so it would slam loudly.

Once the two of you were in the middle of the court, you got onto your brooms, and Diggory released the Snitch, keeping it in his line of sight until it zoomed behind him. As the case where the Bludgers rattled, you felt your heart rate increase; never had you felt unsafe playing Quidditch — there was always a professor around and Slytherin Beaters having your back — but now, the vastness of the court and unseen danger of it all frightened you.

“Three. Two. One.” Cedric counted over the blasting wind.

“Go!”

Then the both of you took off.

You scanned the court for the minuscule ball of gold that circled the arena — which was difficult because of how foggy and rainy it was but mostly kept away from Diggory. That was until he flew right next to you.

“I’m going to release the Bludgers. Be careful.” He yelled over the roaring wind and pulled out his wand, heading away from you. Your stomach dropped as he said those words; you had secretly wished he had forgotten about them.

Despite the tempest around you, you somehow heard the chains of the Bludger case falling and the sound of them zooming in the air in search of you. You let out an unconscious whimper and gripped your broom tighter, heart pounding your chest.

The rain drenched your clothes and skin, sticking your hair and uniform to your skin. The roaring wind reminded you of a howling pack of wolves: hungry and ready to take what they wished to feast on.

Your eyes frantically searched for that flash of gold, eager to get the game over with. It was rather difficult, considering the amount of fog and rain hindering your vision and the wind beating against you and your broom.

You occasionally saw Diggory close to you or heard the sound of a Bludger, but every time that any of the two seemed to approach you too much, you quickly flew to a different area to search for the Golden Snitch as you fought against the harsh winds of the growing storm.

Suddenly, you saw a dark shape in front of you, zooming towards you. A Bludger.

You swerved to the right, barely dodging the ball and willed your broom to fly away as fast as possible. The Bludger chased you across the pitch like a starving lion chasing an injured antelope. 

You rolled to the left, turned to the right, rushed up and dropped down, desperately trying to get away from it. It nearly hit you once, but instead ran into your broom. You hoped it wasn’t damaged. At that point, you had completely forgotten about the Snitch, the beating of your heart against your chest blurring your thoughts. You normally don’t feel this fear. You shouldn’t feel this afraid.

At some point, you’re flying neck to neck with Cedric. Throwing away your pride you yelled at him to put the Bludgers back in their case.

“What, are you scared? You’re backing out this early?” He mocked.

“I don’t give a flying fuck what you think; I value my safety. This is certainly not keeping me safe!” You growled, “Put the fucking Bludgers away! Ah!” A gust of wind had pushed you, and you nearly ran into Diggory.

“Safe? The way you’re flying isn’t safe!”

You grunted, trying to keep your broom under control, but for some reason, it was swerving wildly. “I can’t — It’s not doing what I want! What the–” You yelled over the screaming wind, your panic increasing and your stomach dropping.

By now, Diggory had noticed something was actually wrong, and you weren’t fucking with him. “(Surname)! Your broom is broken!” He warned, realising too late that the Bludger probably hit your broom, cracking it.

You swore under your breath, the crazy winds abusing your broom, and the ride suddenly worsened when your broom seemed to stop working altogether, causing you to go spiralling across the arena.

You held onto your broom out of fear as you screamed.

Oh God. Oh God.

You were going to die.

Suddenly, you felt your body jolt. You felt branches whip at your face and limbs, and your right arm felt numb and like jello, but the tree nevertheless caught you and prevented you from hitting the ground, which would have probably killed you instantly.

Your head felt light. You probably hit it when you crashed into the tree.

If this was how death felt like, you wouldn’t mind dying.

You closed your eyes, and it was as if the light in your body was snuffed out, and everything around you turned black.

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

A man came out of the house and looked at Adam all confused.

Man: Can I help you?

Adam: Yes you can sir! I was wondering if my homeless friends and I could have this house?

Lucifer ran to catch up with him: Adam! I'm so sorry sir-

Man: Sure, I was just leaving it here anyway.

The man handed Adam the key and walked away.

Lucifer: The fuck?

Charlie caught up with them: What happened?

Adam: I GOT US A MOTHERFUCKING HOUSE!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

He ran inside to look around and sure the place need to be fixed up. Like a lot, but it was a start! He was helping!

Charlie: I am sooooo getting him another coffee.

Lucifer: No.

Lucifer couldn't believe the luck that Adam had, he was just given a house because he asked nicely. Can people sense he's an angel or something?

They went in and Adam was gushing about the house.

Adam: Do you love it!?

Charlie: I do!

Lucifer: Yeah, thanks Adam.

Adam grinned widely: You're welcome buddy!

It was another few minutes before he crashed.

Adam: Ugh...... Sleepy.

Lucifer: And that's what we call a caffeine crash.

Adam: I don't like it.

Lucifer held him up and helped him upstairs: Let's go see what we have.

There were only two bedrooms, Charlie got the other one down the hall, there were beds in the bedrooms and a couch downstairs.

Adam: Okay, so I guess this is your room.....

He turned to go downstairs when Lucifer's hand grabbed his.

Lucifer: We...... We can share the bed Adam. I wouldn't even have it if you didn't go up to the guy so..... Yeah.

Adam flushed: Are you sure?

Lucifer: Yeah, just don't make a big deal out of it.

Adam: O-okay.

@fanofstuff01 @beef-brisket

Trials of Apollo Au

@fanofstuff01 @beef-brisket

Sera tried not to throw a fit, she was too mature for such things but this was her baby. How could she not get upset?

Sera: Michael don't do this. Adams just a ba-

Michael: That's the problem, he's not!

It has been pointed out to Sera that she babies Adam, the angel of music too much. She always wanted a child but angels don't have babies the normal way.

Adam was made to replace Samuel, the fallen angel and devil down in Hell. When he opened his perfect golden eyes he took right to Sera and she knew she had to protect him from everything and everyone.

But that came at a price. Sheltering Adam like that made him naive, uncultured and lacking proper knowledge. And the fact that God made him the first gay angel meant Sera had to keep other men away from him. They only take advantage!

But now they want Adam to lead the Extermination Day army, Sera didn't understand why. He was too sweet too soft. Adam didn't have a real mean bone in his body.

Sera: He's my baby!

Michael: He needs to learn about the world and life! He can't do that with you sheltering him. He's going to earth to help a human better their life, without his powers.

Sera: WHAT!?

Michael: Or would you rather he go to Hell?

Sera winced, she didn't want either thing. She looked at her sleeping son, he didn't know what was going to happen and it wasn't fair.

Sera: No...... But no powers?

Michael: The more he helps them he'll start to get them back. Say goodbye it's time.

-

Down on earth, Lucifer and Charlie were laying in their normal dumpster watching the night sky. The brother and sister duo were about to fall asleep when they saw a shooting star.

Lucifer: Make a wish!

Charlie crossed her fingers and closed her eyes. She wished for a miracle to save them from the streets.

Charlie: Done!

That's when the shooting star...... Started coming for them!!

[dropthedemiurge]

Usually, I have only one fandom for a few years, I really cannot multifandom because I want to dive deep and know and follow everything, and I can't go into hyperfocus with several different artists or shows. But last year I saw Love for Love's Sake and fell in love with Lee Taevin, all acting, his manners, attitude and soul-whispering late night DJ voice ��� and somehow, I keep returning to him. And I keep going to his solo events too. I joined his fancafe and added many fan accs on twitter. And I went to his Bday/debut cafe as well. It doesn't help that Taevin's/LFLS fans in Korea are so fun and generous and prepare cool stuff they give out for free :')

ANYWAY I LITERALLY BUMPED INTO TAEVIN TODAY! I was gonna go to a couple of his Bday cafes, but then I saw on twitter that he already attended two of them and thought I totally missed him (I still had 30min subway ride to that area). So I was like: I don't have a great luck, at least I gave him high five last fanmeeting – and I went to the cool gamer-like cafe. Saw a huge line of fans, turned around and exited, thinking I'd better come later when there aren't many people, first I'll go to a different one next street. And as I came out of the building, literally Taevin hopped right in front of my face to the banner xD I stopped like a deer in headlights – I'm so lucky I managed to pull my phone and start filming, although my filming skills are sooo awful (cuz I try not to shove phones in artists' faces so I never know where exactly I point the camera)

And once Taevin was done taking photos, he saw me and I said: "Happy Birthday!!!" He was so surprised (probably not expecting a foreign fan recognizing him on the street) and was like "THANK YOU!" And then smiled so widely his eyes closed and did the 🙏 thanking gesture. His bodyguard smiled at me too.

Well, I went back to the cafe but since there was a line, we had to stay on the stairs and waited for him to go play with fans in the cafe. We said hi and wished him a HBD again when he was walking out :] (he was so busy waving and thanking the fans for coming that he bumped his head on a fire alarm, and was pouty about it xD)

Anyway, next to me was another foreigner (the only other one in sight) so when he came out, he did the 👁️👄👁️ face one again, full of surprise, and made sure to slow down and greet her directly (and smiled at me again). It's so funny, doesn't he know he has many foreign fans?xD He's actually quite popular in Korea, with guys and girls, even more than Joowan, I was surprised. Maybe he didn't expect someone to be his fan outside of BL events?

Anyway. I didn't talk to him much but even in these short interactions Lee Taevin radiates such warmth?? And I love his thoughts during LFLS interviews etc. Plus, he's almost the same age as me do I don't feel weird being a fan of some really young artist.

ANYWAY. I feel like I don't have a choice but to stan. Like, actually stan. I'm sorry to my K-pop ult group of 8 years, I will be cheating on you, but this guy. Lee Taevin. Lee Sewoong. Is so precious... 🥺

(and the cafe event was really fun and dope! They even had gacha and game arcades. I got a lot of gifts once again... where am I supposed to store them all?! don't multifandom, friends)

[purble-turble]

So since Nezha is more in your line of thought (at least in the prince red au) do you have any HC or ideas on him?

I think that, in general, Nezha should get added to the cast more often. Whether thats by the fandom or in the actual show.. His dynamic with MK is super interesting and they could play off each other in interesting ways.

For instance, the fact that it was MK and Nezha who went after Sun Wukong in the season 3 special. I’ve seen, like, one person who made a comic about the two of them having a conversation on the drive over there. (I would link and credit that comic but I cannot for the life of me remember who made it I am so sorry D:) Other than that, I haven’t seen a whole bunch of Nezha interacting with the rest of the cast (or MK, which is what I’m specifically interested in).. that could just be because I haven’t personally seen it, though.

Anyway, as for my own head canons about Nezha, I like to think that the dutiful, loyal exterior we see from him most of the time is mostly a mask he wears. We only see the true Nezha in short bursts once in awhile in the actual show.. after he’s injured in the fight with Azure in Heaven, for instance. There are a few moments where Nezha shows genuine anger or is bitterly sarcastic towards Sun Wukong.. that’s the REAL Nezha shining through due to his exhaustion and anger at the situation they’re in.

When he gives himself permission to actually be himself, he can become hot tempered and wild and selfish.. all things he has been forced to deny are in his nature due to the role he’s been given in Heaven and the duties that come with it… but yeah, he’s Nezha. Deep down, he still feels like that child who ran around slaying dragons and pulling pranks and getting into all kinds of trouble, even if he’s a grown up with responsibilities now…. If he were allowed to interact with the main cast in a situation that didn’t involve the world ending or some sort of fight happening between them, I have no doubt that MK’s chaotic nature would help bring out that side of Nezha and get him to have a little fun again~

[rot-consumer]

I KNOW THIS IS AN ASK BUT I LOVE TAIXEZ SO MUCH SO MUXH SO MUUCCH THANK YOU FOR POSTING ART ABOUT IT AND UH ABT THE ASK CAN YOU DRAW THOSE TWO BASICALLY WALKING IN A GARDEN..

I AM ASWELL A TAIXEZ FAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HI FELLOW TAXEZ FAN!!!! IM SO SORRY THIS WAS LATE I WENT TO A WEDDING ON THE WEEKEND AND THEN I HAD JIUJITSU AND SCHOOL I HAD NO TIME TO DRAW

But anyways idk if you wanted a flower garden or just foliage garden so i made a kind of bush/tree garden bc thats the only one i know how to draw im sorry if i didnt interpret it right but hope you like it!!!!! *explodes*

[keruukat]

EXPLODES BECAUSE I JUST WROTE THIS ALL OUT AND TUMBLR SHAT ITSELF AS SOON AS I WENT TO CHECK MY SEARCHING HISTORY.

Anyway. YAY TAG GAME :D. I love being tagged in things! Lemme cliff notes what I had before because I was So Rambly. Anyway!

Last song: probably some 80s song on the radio bc of Mom, but in terms of me searching out? …And If I Did, You Deserved It. By Will Wood! Specifically the Chonny Jash cover because what am I if not predictable (so excited for whatever new wee woo covers he’s doing next month… I forget which won the poll)

Favorite color: complicated but either purple or green. Big fan of p much any shade of cool tones, plus gem tones and earth tones r good too :3

Last movie: Madoka Magica Rebellion! After binging the whole anime with close friends last summer. 10/10 was great

Last show: don’t watch tv but last podcast was WTNV and I have some YouTube series suggestions if anyone wants em

Sweet/savory/spicy: yes. Spice I have a limit to and it’s low? I don’t want to be in pain because of my food. And sugar hates me in particular (gotta love prediabetes). So I guess savory? I just love any strong flavor. Been a fan of pickles lately… ooh and trying new fish salads. Been really liking sardine rilletes lately!

Last thing I googled: asexual wiki (to ensure I was remembering a microlabel right. I was not. So sorry fraysexuals shoutout to fraysexuals I thought my OC was you but he doesn’t fit the label but yall r chill)

Current obsession: My OCs. Please ask me about them. Please. Please. I need to post more about them. Please.

Looking forward to: lunch tomorrow! Have plans for ramen using some leftover birria broth… oh and I’m looking forward to playing some games I have downloaded! And finishing a crochet tote bag I’m making. And heading back to college! And figuring out why my body is trying to Kill Itself (AKA shit is fucked and it’s an autoimmune disease but it’s doing funky shit that not even a rheumatologist can figure out…. So I can’t get a diagnosis… Send help.) And fixing all the shit going wrong mechanically too…. Theres a lot.

I am getting too eepy to tag tooooo many people but I want yo get back into tagging people in these games again! So @squeak-4657 @disruptivevoib @socialc1imb @shxwrunner @thesaddersalad and anyone else who sees this! Especially my moots that I didn’t have the spoons to tag it’s 2am and im exhausted

People I want to Know Better Tag

thanks for the tag @localwolfgoesawooo <3

last song: Я и твой кот (me and your cat) by svidaniye

favorite color: really most shades of green, but particularly sage and forest green

last movie: A Great Unknown

last tv show: For All Mankind

sweet/savory/spicy: savory for the most part, although sometimes I'll be in a sweet mood

relationship status: taken <3, shoutout to my amazing girlfriend

last thing i googled: TJS to USD conversion rate

current obsession: getting more ear piercings lol, I fear ear piercing TikTok really has its claws in me

looking forward to: getting back home. I'm on a work trip rn and I can't wait to finally get home to my gf, our cats, and sleep in my own bed

For this I'm tagging @under-pink-skys @imsiriuslyreading @messrsrarchives @solarissuns @hotteststar and anyone else who wants to join in!

[xxplastic-cubexx]

[right to left]

finally finished This Wip from Ever ago and so now i ask you ever look into another dudes eyes and suddenly want to do whatever he wants

[bookinit02]

i really do think there’s a huge disconnect on here w/ people who have never used tiktok as to what it actually is and who actually uses it. the number of people i’ve seen call it a “teen dancing app” is actually insane. it has not been a teen dancing app since i was in high school, around 2016 - 2020. the main communities i saw on a daily basis were 1) black history/anti-racism educators, 2) high school & college teachers sharing in-classroom strategies and frustrations with the education system, 3) local/state political leaders giving real-time updates on behind-the-scenes government decisions, & 4) community activism & leadership. like tiktok is an adult platform. almost every person i interacted with was my age or older. and yes it completely depends on your fyp and how you interact with the app, yes there’s still teenagers and dance videos and literally anything else you can think of. but these communities of adults aren’t insubstantial at all, they have literally millions of interactions on a daily basis. there’s about a million other types of communities that i could name just off the top of my head, because the range of users was SO diverse and thriving. it’s a long-distance community tool, just like any other social media—and honestly much better than any other social media, because it relies primarily on the kindness of strangers. i saw at least 5-10 videos today of queer people in rural areas panicking because they don’t have any access to queer community on any other platform or in real life. and before i end this i do want to say i think tiktok is coming back, i think this is a highly orchestrated political move, etc., but i do know it won’t ever be exactly the same. people are panicking about free speech violations because tiktok was a place where people fucking SPEAK. i have never seen mass mobilization and communication in this same way for as long as i’ve been alive. it is the people’s app, not just a silly teenage thing. if you’re not on tiktok and never have been, please stop talking about it like you know anything at all😭

[apostaterevolutionary]

Okay can I be a bitter Anders fan for like. Just 2 minutes here lmao

Cause bioware released some game stats for veilguard and apparently 72% of players redeemed Solas which is like. Okay yeah the game kinda pushes you towards that. But when I think of all the shit I used to have to put up with just for enjoying Anders like at all and…

(This is not me being anti-Solas, I do not care if you love or hate him, but I am gonna say what he’s done is like. Objectively worse than literally every other companion so lmao. And that’s fine! You can still enjoy him! I’m not saying you can’t and it’s important to me that people understand that! I’m just saying he did in fact do objectively morally worse things in game than Anders did and I don’t think that’s really debatable. And I can’t really make my point here without saying that but I do want to make it clear this is not some moral condemnation of Solas enjoyers cause it’s not)

Getting anon hate on the regular, being told “oh you’re allowed to like Anders as long as you regularly talk about how much he sucks”, people gleefully describing how much fun they have killing him ON your posts about the fact that you like him, the devs making jokes about shitty fates for him when fans asked innocent questions about him, the absolute audacity of his writer to say half the shit she did in interviews (about bisexuality and mental illness, most critically), and then being beaten over the head again in inquisition about how Anders is the worst character to ever exist and there’s no redemption for terrorists who lie to you one time in the entire game and he deserves death or worse and that’s it

And now… 72% of people are down to redeem the guy who lies to you for 2 games straight and who did a lot of questionable things that includes creating the fucking blight and. Like. I guess I’m glad that Solas fans can live in a world where they aren’t constantly harassed and can give their ship like. A pretty damn good ending all things considered. And that the devs love Solas and actually give the option for that happy ending and have characters go to bat for Solas throughout the game and the most annoying thing they have to see are people making scrambled egg memes. I would not wish anyone to have to deal with the shit Anders fans had to put up with back then cause it sucked. It really sucked. And I’m glad it’s not being repeated with a different character, if nothing else

But like. Man there really is a difference when the writers actually like the character who does the thing, huh

[egophiliac]

Serious question.

Do you think we’ll see the parents/family of each of the guys???

Like, We’ve been TEASED with Ace’s brother, that I’m starting to think it’s just a reference to that Alice in Wonderland park character in Japan and nothing else….

Jack’s family, Ruggie’s grandma, Falena, Maleficia, Ms.Rosehearts, Just now Vil’s dad is in the picture which I am really happy but now I’m wondering about his mom, and so Deuce’s mom.

I mean, some HAVE a silhouette!! It could mean they do have a design in the making/ready to show. They could’ve shown us Falena in the Tamashina (hope I said that correctly) event, but didn’t (prolly to make Leona not so σ(▼□▼メ) and it’s understandable)

Anyhow, any idea/headcannon about this? Who do you want to see first?

I'm wondering if everyone might eventually get a travel event? like they've now introduced with Vil's that it doesn't have to be specifically hometowns, so that opens things up a lot! (especially if they have to figure out how to do three separate Coral Sea visits) (how would that even work otherwise)

but yeah, I hope everyone gets a chance! there's a lot of backstory characters I would LOVE to meet. :D :D :D though I do think some of them don't really suit the more light-hearted tone of the events (pretty sure you're right about that being why Falena wasn't in Tamashina-Mina, that would've just been. too much for Leona.) so like...we're probably not ever going to meet the Rosehearts. or Maleficia (although I maintain that this would be THE funniest possible way to introduce her outside of the main story, and actually I would love this a lot, can we please Twst) (I need to see her to put Malleus in a froofy little outfit and tell him what a handsome boy he is). but they've sprung surprises like Kifaji on us, and honestly anyone who shows up and tells embarrassing stories about characters' childhoods is good in my book!

characters off the top of my head who I most want to meet: literally any of the Zigvolts, Azul's mom, Ace's brother, Che'nya's grandfather (<- I think he would be a good one for Riddle) (please just any non-terrible adult in his life), any member of Rook's family because I need to see how they managed to produce him, and...really just whoever they can come up with for Silver.

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.