#anyway i LOVE writing comments as a separate thing from being a writer and it is a different skill that readers can (and should) learn
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sorry but i do believe that it's normal to want AND possible to achieve a good grade in comment writing
#there's this tone when it comes to these posts about comments which poses it as almost a chore or something unpleasant to get over with#and i GET IT! most of these discussions are Writer-led and asking for comments or lamenting their lack it IS embarrassing to ask for!!#but!!! as a READER i dont see enough enthusiasm about the JOY of leaving a good comment?#being able to read something and see what the writer was trying to do (and sometimes when its something they haven't thought of?)#receiving their enthusiasm in response? sharing the joy of being Blorbo Understanders together?#people talk about comments spurring on someone to finish their fic (i have been on both the giving and receiving end of this) but even smal#er scale than that: making someone smile? knowing you made them feel like their work was Seen?#i have been fortunate enough to make friends with some people who are brilliant writers just because we were enthusiastic in each others co#mments and you dont have to be A Writer to do this all you have to be is A Reader#anyway i LOVE writing comments as a separate thing from being a writer and it is a different skill that readers can (and should) learn
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I'm gonna freaking eat your works.....
(this is mildly wordy It's like 2am and I have a lot to say)
I'm a big big BIGGGGG sucker for a good Shmilk or Pure ganilla fic....and wow you delivered.....🤤🤤
Big thank you for keeping me entertained for a good hour, that's a struggle for me LMAO I loved your writing, and the way you wuold describe his voice being all wispy and spooky; really added to the overall vibe of the fic and I really did like it :3
If you don't mindsies, I'd love to request something from you as well (o゜▽゜)o☆ As previously stated in a comment somewhere, angst makes me SO happy to write/read....the in-depth details people can do with emotions makes me so HEAHEHHAEHAEHEHAHEAHEH in a /pos way....
So! I would like to hhhhhhumbly request some good old fashioned Shmilky angst! Or, if you'd prefer to write Pure vanilla that's cool tooo!!!! I don't really mind what *type* of angst, just angst 🤤 I try to give writers creative freedom, but I'd adore some loss/unable to cope with loss of a loved one.....whatever works ;b ANYWAYS! LOVE YOUR WORK AND YOU'RE VERY COOL!!!!! 💥💥💥💥
The Puppet and the Fool
A tragedy in One Last Breath
A/N You're right there's been too much happiness on this blog time to fix that.
You were never supposed to last. From the moment you met Shadow Milk Cookie, you had been a mere curiosity, a spectator drawn into his ever-moving spire, his ever-deceiving carnival of illusions. And yet, somehow, you had done the impossible you had slipped between the cracks of his carefully constructed reality, nestled yourself in the spaces he hadn’t meant for anyone to occupy. It had started as a game, like all things with him did. "Oh? What’s this? A little spectator who doesn’t flee at the first trick? How rare!" His voice had slithered around you, a serpent’s coil laced with amusement and something sharper, something dangerous. Others feared him, reviled him, whispered of his cruelty in hushed tones. But you, oh, you were foolish. Foolish enough to laugh, to poke at his ego, to challenge him in ways no one else dared.
He had never asked you to stay. Never invited you into his world of trickery and taunts. And yet, there you were, day after day, watching his performances with something that was not admiration, not fear just an amused understanding. "And what, pray tell, keeps you lurking about, dear audience?" he would purr, flourishing his staff. "Surely, you have places far safer than my den of illusions." You had only shrugged, smiling faintly. "Your shows are entertaining." "A high compliment, indeed!" He placed a hand over his chest in mock gratitude. "But beware! The greatest trick of all is never knowing whether you’ve already become part of the act!" "I think I’ll take my chances." Foolish. But he liked that about you. And so, your presence became a fixture, something woven into the very script of his performances. He would create grand illusions, dazzling lights and twisting realities, and you would be there, arms crossed, shaking your head with a knowing smile. "Too much?" he would ask, grinning. "You always overdo it," you would reply. It became a game one he never admitted he enjoyed far too much. And, without realizing it, he began making his performances for you.
"I see through your tricks, Shadow Milk. You’re not as unpredictable as you think." That had caught his attention. You played along, indulged his theatrics, yet somehow remained separate from them. You saw through him in ways that unnerved him, as if you knew where the real strings were pulled. But instead of cutting them, you simply held them, quietly watching as he tangled himself in his own illusions. You became a regular in his performances, not as an unwilling participant, not as a victim, but as something else entirely. A quiet presence beside him, a soft counter to his grandiosity. A knowing smile when his lies got too elaborate, a gentle nudge when his mind grew too tangled in its own web. And somehow, he let you stay. Because for all his lies, you never demanded the truth from him. And for all his illusions, you never asked him to be anything but himself. Looking back, the signs had been small, quiet things, easy to dismiss, easier to ignore. The way your hand would tremble when reaching for his. The way your breath sometimes came too short, too shallow, even when you stood still. The way your laughter, once bright and full, became something softer, something restrained. "Tired already, my dear? We’ve barely begun the show!" he would tease, twirling his staff, watching as you paused to catch your breath. And you, ever the fool, would grin and wave him off. "Maybe you should carry me, then." "Oh-ho! A tempting proposition! But I’d hate to spoil you."
He had never thought much of it. Cookies grew weary. They faltered. It was natural. It wasn’t until he noticed the way you hid it the way you swallowed the winces, the way you steadied yourself against walls when you thought he wasn’t looking that something cold and unfamiliar began to fester in the back of his mind. Doubt. A word he despised when it came to you. But it remained. And yet, he never asked. Because asking would mean acknowledging. And acknowledging would mean accepting. So he let the show go on, even as the cracks in the stage deepened beneath your feet. Now, as you lay in his arms, the truth he had refused to see wrapped around him like chains, dragging him into a reality he would not accept. You had always been dying. And he had never noticed. Or rather he had never allowed himself to notice. "You lied to me," he whispered, his voice barely above a breath. You managed the smallest of smiles, though it barely reached your eyes. "I didn't lie." "But you didn't tell me." His grip tightened, his mismatched eyes wild, frantic, unblinking. "You let me play my part, let me prance about like a fool while you-" He choked on his words. "Why?"
You exhaled, slow, tired. "Because I knew you’d react like this." The laugh that tore from his throat was anything but amusement. "You-!" His voice cracked, and he had to swallow down the wreckage threatening to spill. "You knew and you still…" His breath shuddered. "Why didn’t you tell me?!" You hesitated. Not because you didn’t have an answer, but because you did. And he wasn’t ready for it. "Because I didn’t want my last moments to be a performance," you murmured. Your fingers brushed against his cheek, weak, barely there. "I wanted to just… be with you." Something shattered inside him.
All those stolen moments, every laugh, every conversation, every quiet night beneath an illusory sky of his own making they had been real. You had given him something real. And now you were taking it away. His breath came quick, shallow. His grip on you was desperate, as if holding you tighter could keep you anchored to him, to this world. "No, no, no, I won’t let you—" "Shadow Milk." His name had never sounded so soft. So final. You smiled. "I love you." And then, stillness. The silence was deafening. Shadow Milk Cookie did not move. Did not breathe. Did not accept. His jester’s hat had long since fallen, forgotten on the cold ground. The ghostly eyes in his hair flickered wildly, their gazes darting in all directions, uncertain, uncomprehending. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t real. The story wasn’t supposed to end this way. He clutched your body tighter, rocking slightly, his voice barely above a whisper. "You’re still here." A statement. A fact. A truth. Or perhaps, the most desperate lie he had ever told. "You’re just waiting for your cue. That’s all this is." His tone was light, theatrical, forced. "A clever little act oh, how you’ve fooled me this time, my dear!" His mismatched eyes gleamed, too wide, too bright. "But the show must go on." There was no response. Yet he continued, undeterred. "I’ll give the next line, then! What a generous performer I am!" A sharp, broken laugh left him. "You’ll wake up soon. You always do." The world did not answer. But he did not listen. Because Shadow Milk Cookie was a liar, a master of illusion, a weaver of truths and falsehoods alike. And so he told himself the greatest lie of all. That you were still there. That you had never left. That the final act had not yet begun. And as the silence stretched on, swallowing the stage whole, he did what he had always done. He played his part. And waited for you to play yours.
#cr kingdom#crk#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#cookierun kingdom#crk shadow milk cookie#shadow milk#shadow milk cookie crk#shadow milk crk#shadow milk x reader#shadow milk cookie#shmilk#smilk cookie#smilk#smc crk#smc
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I guess I'm about to get real vulnerable on main here, but I saw some kinda "BookTok" disk horse cross my BlueSky feed, and it's got me thinking in a way I really can only discuss without a character limit. But it feels kind of relative to an over all trans creative experience. Maybe more specifically for us masc people, but. You know. Maybe the threads are different but the weave a similar picture. Anyway, this is kinda what my tumblr blog has become, and so here goes. Please note I also use 'queer' as an all encompassing term, as to me it is the most inclusive word I can use despite its dubious origins and history. Sorry if that upsets anyone.
The funniest thing about this whole conversation popping up was the fact that I had just been lamenting about finding the concept of 'romantasy' fun but what I'd give to find or read something with a transmasc protagonist paired with an opposite partner of any gender. Something my masc bisexual ass would love to see. Mostly because I see and support so many ones that are sapphic in nature, but hardly see any masculine. Maybe I'm not looking in the right places but Anyway. Just so happened that in the next hour I saw what I was looking for cross my Bsky feed, but with the author show casing the really nasty and negative comments he received on his concept. things like but not limited to:
"of course the transmasc character is a twink bottom" "just a girl who got a mastectomy" And other just Internalized Misogyny and Heteronormative things that affect a good portion of us transmasculine guys.
And idk, man it really struck a nerve with me.
If only because first and foremost, the author is writing something he wanted to see. Filling a niche and void he wanted to see realized, and like so many other authors' works, in a way that feels personal to him. And to attack it in such a way was pretty vile.
Queer stories and creations in of themselves are personal stories, because we write from our own experiences, and put them in our original works whether subtly or not so subtly. It's there, and you can't separate the queer experience from a queer work because by its very nature its queer. But also like, that experience isn't the same for everyone. And we shouldn't expect it to be. So, no, not every work is going to be what you want or associate with. But we should be uplifting all of it so that someone with an idea or concept that does speak to you will have the confidence to bring it to the table. And yeah. Unfortunately, that sometimes means that cliches are gonna happen. That twink ass transmasc might end up being a bottom 75% of the time.
But it also like, led me to associate my own struggle of accepting my own body and transness and some of my own preferences in the bedroom.
I'm not saying that all writers, artists, or creators are using their method of making art to explore their own hang ups with their gender and bodies, navigating this absolutely messy and strange world of norms and expectations while simultaneously seeming to want to turn them on their head. Gender is complex. Being trans is complex. And it gets weird, and sometimes we need outlets to work our way through it.
But also, most of us transmasc people have vaginas. It's just a fact of life. We've got a big ol' gaping axe wound of an organ sitting between our legs and for a lot of us, it still feels good to stick something in it, and we shouldn't be ashamed of that at all. And hell, a lot of us are short, considering our genetics are wired that way and no amount of HRT is going to change the fact some of us aren't going to get past 5'5". But sometimes, especially with what is expected to be masculine by gender norms, and the physical form of a cis male body, it can sometimes be really hard to reconcile that.
I know it was for me. To the point where I often struggled with my sexuality and my relationship with intimacy about it for a long time.
I made my character Akihiro while I was, and still am parsing through a lot of my own dysphoric issues, and paving my own way to acceptance. And that's made him a deeply personal character to me. And he has grown and changed as I project a lot of those issues on to him and his development. Akihiro has been an exploration of myself as much as he is an an original character that I role play. But not so much in the ways of personality, but more in the ways of the challenges with which he is presented and has to navigate himself.
Akihiro is a trans man in a world that is accepting of it. Society has progressed past these petty and arbitrary standards. But he becomes a cyborg at a time where the question is instead what it means to be human, and so...The aspect of depersonalization, dysphoria, and depersonalization he experiences at the hands of transhumanism is not so different than what I have and do experience in my own transition.
Akihiro wasn't always trans. That was honestly a pretty recent development and one that I did struggle with making. And I realized I was struggling with it because of those same dysphoric issues. And I just needed to let them go.
It was reflected in another recent development; the way that I had Akihiro handle his genitals when he was presented with the option to upgrade from none to a functioning set. And he chose to go with what he had been born with, the genitals he had when his body was mangled. He went with a vagina. Because he wanted to embrace the body he had taken for granted before he lost it, and not some idealized version of himself he could have obtained at any point prior.
And yeah. He 'bottoms' the majority of the time for his boyfriend because he enjoys it. But it doesn't stop him from topping him either, nor enjoying that. Nor had it stopped him previously from being intimate with other men and women. And that's his preference as a character.
And who are we to say it wasn't the same for this author? Where he is putting his feelings and acceptance of his own body and desires onto paper? And that is being met with such vitriol because it's not someone else's idea of what is masculine, or whatever. I don't know. Maybe they weren't. Maybe they did just wanna write some twink ass boy getting dicked down and like, that's fine too. Why do we have to be so mad about that?
And maybe this was just a lot of words to say that I think we get so wrapped up in words and labels for things that it completely erases the nuances of our own experiences and it turns right back around to being so queerphobic and limiting. And we don't give ourselves, much less other people, the grace to create the things they want to, and from a place of their own experience and desire. It's harmful.
#long post#azrael.txt#the transmasc struggle I guess#oh and booktok drama?#rambling about my OCs too#Akihiro is v important to me ok#holy shit this post got away from me.
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— guidelines and boundaries
a list of guidelines and boundaries for requesting and interacting on my blog!
— nsfw this is a nsfw blog. that being said, i do not necessarily have a massive problem with minors interacting in some cases. I ask that any minors don't interact on the nsfw posts (such as commenting), but i don't see a problem on ones that are sfw. I can't stop them from consuming the media i post, it's up to them and their parents to monitor their media consumption. my content has not reached that necessarily dark point yet, and it might not ever, however it is still 18+ i can write outside of nsfw if anyone requests, or is interested in it, but as of late, it is mostly nsfw content featured on my blog.
— characters assuming you've taken a peek at what's posted on my blog, you'll see that it's primarily simon riley, but i am not opposed to any other call of duty characters! feel free to ask!
— requests and asks are closed feel free to send a request about any cod character with what you want me to write about! please be as specific as possible because then it helps me understand what you're wanting, and it increases the chances of making it out of the inbox (unless stated creative freedom!) and for those who don't want to send requests and just chat, please do! feel free to ask questions, start conversations, etc. <3
— emoji anons i am not opposed to anyone who wants to become an emoji anon! just send an ask with the emoji, and whenever one gets taken, i'll list it here <3
— for requests: my blog mainly focuses on writing fem readers because that's just what i do best! with more practice, i'm sure i could write it, but as of late, there are other blogs who do it best so i'll leave it to them. i'm open to writing a lot, so if you're unsure about what is okay or not, just request it anyways! as long as it's not listed below as a hard no!
— boundaries 1. there are certain things i will absolutely never write for, which are as listed here: scat, pedophilia, underage, necrophilia, beastiality, zoophilia, ageplay, race play, pet play, incest, rape (cnc is fine), etc. (list is subject to additions if i see fit. just because you don't see it on here, doesn't mean i'll write it. feel free to send an ask about it, i'm always okay with clarifying!) 2. if you haven't seen your request or ask, please don't spam! i like to pick and choose which ones to do first depending on my mood, how easy it is, and what ideas i can get from it that feed my motivation. i am also writing for an entire other blog, though not as frequently as this one, i am quite busy! 3. If i don't do a request, it will just be deleted from my inbox! 4. feel free to message me whenever! i'm always open to talk to people, but if it's speed along your request, i ask that you just don't do this! i will get to it whenever i can! if i rejected your request, and you'd like to know, we can always discuss further details and workarounds!
— p!links i am open to receiving them! it's definitely something i'd like to write around, and i am open to receiving any p!links from people. i just ask they come from twitter/x, and that it's nothing extremely graphic/gore!
— reblogging i don't typically reblog because i like to keep my page mostly my writing, but i know some people have a separate blog where they do reblog content. i think that's what i'll do in the future because i see a lot of content that i really like and think about reblogging all the time!
— mutuals i'd love to have cod mutuals! if you want to be mutuals, you can just ask! for other writers, there may be a chance i already follow you 🫶🏻
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Responding to your other post...I am so sorry, I did not know that you felt disrespected or insulted when people said those type of things. I mean, of course when people try and actually critize your WRITING ABILITIES, but even though I don't remember making my tone questioning or criticizing when I made that one ask talking about how it was hard to understand your symbolism, I may have also added negativity to the onslaught :(
I swear I never meant it in any way like that at all. When I was talking about my thing, I completely meant it as my own problem. I probably brought it up a few other times even in my ao3 comments, god.. You are an amazing writer, but I'm the one that's not good at picking up some things. I never meant to make it seem like it "was your fault" ever.
You probably don't even know which anon ask I'm talking about, but if I made you anxious in anyway about your writing abilities, please forgive me because I did not mean anything in any harmful way. Honestly I'm pretty sure I meant it in a "Your writing is too good" because I couldn't get some things. I'm also just a little slow so yeah, lol.
it's okay!!! i really didnt want to upset anyone or make them feel like they had to overthink :[ i mostly just wanted to set a line because it felt like people were getting too,,, idk how to describe it. reliant on my input? it felt like people would push me to explain things to them that i purposefully wanted to leave up to interpretation, and in doing so it would kind of destroy the fact that it was meant to have several interpretations + they would act like something not being spelled out was a fault of the way i framed it narratively, even if that was the point. i wasnt directing it at anyone in particular i promise!!
i've been worrying a lot that its my fault somehow for being so quick to engage and overexplain, so i might adjust the way i handle things later down the line. ive always wanted to have a certain degree of distance from my work, where everything is fluid and my word isnt gospel and they can engage with or build off what i put in the text in any way they'd like because art is a living, breathing thing separate from me and that's why i love it so much, and i think i've kind of failed in that regard. i'll probably go out of my way to be more vague about fire at will in particular once it starts getting into the juicy bits. i'll just have to curb my impulse to spell things out.
#ask#i really want to make a real story with my own characters some day because i would love people to go full detective and pick apart details#its what i yearned for in cc and i got it so scarcely .... which caused me to start shouting about things like parallels myself-#-because i was a little too proud. and now i feel like i killed that enthusiasm before it could even start#or maybe im overthinking it. i shouldnt have to think about Fostering A Community im an small fish in a big pond#i might just being entitled. regardless. ive been intensely self-critical for the past bit#im going to give 70 i just want to politely ask for 30#ive been really worried people are secretly judging me and its been getting intense lately#ive been more bold because i turned off the ability to see my follower count but GOD does it haunt me#repeatedly ive been noticing an absence of a lot of people who used to engage with me a lot too and its not making me feel better#i miss you :( did i do something wrong. im sorry
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for the fanfic writing asks: 2, 7, 13, and 77!!! :D
Omg I wasn't expecting a response so soon :0 (Not that I'm complaining!!)
Okay so, I'll put the questions along with the number so no one has to go through the hassle of looking at the other post, and #7 will get a separate post since it'll be longer :)
#2: Where do you get your fanfic ideas?
I daydream about my favorite characters quite a bit, especially Valorant agents since that's the fandom I'm currently writing for, so most of my ideas come from agent traits and dynamics I find interesting!! For example, one fic idea I have written down is a oneshot/short fic about Clove being afraid of dying because I think that'd be fun and interesting to write.
#13: Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what have you been listening to recently?
Yes! It's kind of funny, my brain REALLY latches onto music, so I have to play it really quietly while I write otherwise the lyrics will be the only thing I can think about.
Anyway—since I write primarily angst, I tend to listen to more melancholic music to help "set the tone," so to speak, or I just put my sagebean playlist on. It's a lot of Phoebe Bridgers, Mitski, Adrianne Lenker, Hozier, and Paramore, to name a few recurring artists :)
#77: Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?
I've always been very analytic when it comes to the media I consume, whether it's music, TV, videogames, etc. And I also love character/relationship analysis in particular, as well as angst in general. With that in mind, I'm sure you can see why fanfiction is like crack to me lmao. Pretty much whenever I get into a new hyperfixation, I read copious amounts of fanfiction for that fandom.
Writing fanfiction MYSELF is even better, partially because I just enjoy writing in general, but also because I'm the one in control of the subject matter. Writing fanfic is inherently self-indulgent; I get to pick what character(s), topics, and relationships to explore, and I love that! Take Viper for example: Valorant is a fandom with less fanfics written for it, and while Viper is one of the most popular characters in it, I still felt like there was a lot to her character that just wasn't being adequately explored in other fics that I read. BOOM, Standing Guard, my first ever fanfic, was created.
All of that aside, though, I also love the community aspect of it. Being a consistent Viper-angst (and these days, sagebean) writer, I've attracted a lot of repeat readers, some of whom are kind enough to leave comments literally every time I post, and that's so crazy to me. I love writing my fics because they're fics that I myself would want to read, and I adore giving that experience to others who also want to see these stories, you know? It genuinely makes my day whenever I get a new kudo, subscription, bookmark, or comment, because that's one person who enjoyed this concept as much as I do, and that's amazing!
Anyway, I'm getting a bit ramble-y at this point, but basically, I love creating and sharing my work because I know there's other people who are dying to read these stories just as much as I am.
Thanks for the asks! :)
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@glasswoodonthebrain DID THIS FIRST ALL CREDITS TO HER I JUST WANTED THIS TO BE A SEPARATE POST HERE'S THE OG POST FROM EMMA BC SHE'S A GENIUS
EMMA YOU SWEET SWEET GENIUS I'M BORROWING THIS IDEA FROM YOU IS THAT OKAY? I LOVE YOU AND ALL CREDS TO YOU LOL <33
Rayna:
William:
LOOK HOW PRETTY AHHH Felt like being over the top so here's where they'd get married <3
Rowen picked if you couldn't tell LOL
Oh and I can't forget Rowen:
I WAS GIGGLING FOR AGES AT THIS BEFORE I WAS LIKE: WAIT. I COULD WRITE SOMETHING OUT OF THIS AND I WAS SO EXCITED See nobody ever asks about my writing, I'm not even sure if people know I'm a writer but I am- so... this made me so happy IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR ILYSM MWA MWA MWA <333 HERE WE GO !!! I have no idea how weddings work, so, uh- bear with me- HAH-
YA'LL NEED TO TELL ME HOW I DO SO I NEED COMMENTS, I EVEN ENCOURAGE THEM- PLEASE AND THANK YOU :3 ANYWAYS, ENJOY, SWEETIES >:3
Marriage Binds Us
Word count: 770 (yes I know it's short but it's good I SWEAR T-T)
In the years Rowen had known William, he had stopped being surprised whenever his good friend did something utterly ridiculous, or even out of character.
But as he watched William standing in a field in quite a handsome suit, even he couldn’t help but gape in shock. “What’s the matter?” William asked him, genuinely looking confused.
Rowen scoffed. “I- seriously? You’re not joking, this is actually happening?” William simply hummed, as if this was more of a picnic date rather than an event that would bind him to a woman of his choosing, which only served to further concern Rowen.
“Well- can i at least know who?” Rowen questioned curiously. Out of all of the women in the world, not once had Rowen thought that William had interest in any of them.
“You will see.” William mumbled cryptically, the slightest hint of a smirk present on his face, before it vanished as the breeze brushed past his face and through his hair, almost as if it had wiped the smile off of his face.
Rowen was not confused by the sudden disappearance of any hint of emotion on his friend’s face, after all, William’s smile was quite the fragile thing. Like a flower, it all depended on the type of attention he was given. Not enough, and you would never even see his mouth turn upwards. Too much, and he’d simply snap at you. What he was confused by, however, was the nonchalance shown by his friend towards the rather important matters of marriage.
“Do you even have a marriage officiant?” Rowen sputtered, still reeling from the realisation that this wasn’t just a practical joke, but in fact real life.
William rolled his eyes. “We can get one of those later. We decided it’d be best to have this… special moment alone.” He explained vaguely, choosing his words with care.
The grass beneath them crunched slightly as someone came from behind William, before stopping. “Rowen?” muttered a familiar voice.
Rowen almost jumped at the third voice, peering over William’s shoulder to see another one of his close friends, Rayna. “Ray?!” He exclaimed in shock and bafflement. Now he was thoroughly confused. Completely and utterly bewildered. “Do you guys even know how marriage works?!”
Rayna huffed. “Who cares? It’s our marriage anyway, we’ll do a proper one later, for now, we can do whatever we want.” William nodded, a soft smile on his face as his dimples became visible.
Rowen blinked in puzzlement, once again. “You have dimples?”
“Yes, obviously i have dimples, so do you.” William muttered, rolling his eyes petulantly.
Rowen threw his hands up into the air. “You know what? If you guys are happy, then I’ll support you.” Then, he muttered under his breath. “No wonder you told me to wear this suit…”
Rowen himself looked quite dashing. He wore a pristine white suit. He had never expected his two weirdest (yet most wonderful) friends to marry each other, neither did he expect to be a groomsman for their ‘wedding’, he’d been one before, obviously, but the shock of everything had him in a slight daze, upping the chances of him screwing the entire thing up.
“Did you bring the rings?” William asked him with a raised brow.
“Rings? What rings? You never gave me any rings!”
“You didn’t bring the rings?!” Now William was the one gaping at him. “How could you not?! Did you not see them on your bedside table?”
“I- what? No!” Rowen replied defensively. He then sighed, running a hand over his face. “Okay, fine, I’ll go get them, the flat is only five minutes away from here anyway.” He muttered, slightly irked by himself and by his friend. He then turned around and began to jog in the direction of the flat.
Rayna smiled, watching him go. “He’s a great friend.”
William’s lips tugged up in a small, genuine smile at that. “He is indeed.”
“But i thought you had the rings?” His bride tilted her head gently.
He huffed out a laugh. “That’s the amusing part. I do.”
She smacked his arm. “William! You horrible man, you made him jog all the way back? He’ll be looking for ages! Go get him back, now!”
“Come now, my dear, it’s just some harmless fun.” He smiled gently at her in a reassuring manner.
She frowned, still upset about the fact he had so seamlessly deceived one of her closest companions. “Well, what do we do now? Wait for him to return?”
He shrugged, his smile never leaving his face as he gently took her hand, intertwining her fingers with his own and bringing the back of her hand to his lips. “You tell me.”
#not my idea#EVERYONE GO LOOK AT EMMA'S#a e s t h e t I c#marriage#married#bride#William lewis#Rayna quinn#rayna quinn x william lewis#writers on Tumblr#writers#writing community#creative writing#nobody ever asks about my writing lol that makes me sad#:33333#:d <3
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I don’t know how to start messages at all, so I’ll just get to the point: you’re writing is hecking amazing. I literally only just discovered your blog and I’m already hooked and invested in like 5 different stories. As people say, I want to consume your writing the way a wolf tears apart the innards of its prey (hope that’s not too weird of a compliment; I mean that the writing is very good. I’m not good at expressing extreme amazement and stuff through writing at all and general social awkwardness so sorry if I’m coming off as weird, I don’t mean to).
I have more things to say/ask (like how you write so fast cause the heck? That’s a compliment by the way), but I don’t want to be rude or annoying. Anyways, I hope you’re having a good day/night and are staying hydrated and enjoying some cookies (or whatever your favorite food is) while you do writing stuff (or school or whatever. Idk anything about your life. I’ll stop talking now before I go on another tangent like right now) :)
This is literally one of the sweetest compliments I've EVER gotten! I love the analogy with the wolf tearing out the insides of its prey, that gave me a good laugh and made me smile LOL. It's not weird at all! (At least, not in MY world, because 'weird' is my version of 'normal'. You can't out-weird me haha) and I'm super socially awkward too so I totally understand how you feel!
I absolutely adore the fact that you took the time to send this to me! It really helps motivate me to keep writing! I honestly wouldn't post here very often without comments like yours to keep me going.
On to answering your questions now. This is going to be a long one.
Firstly, I have a terrible relationship with sleep. Sleep hates me. So my solution? Stay up to 3am writing giant novels! Some nights the inspiration hits out of nowhere, and I'll write like a crazy person on their 10th cup of coffee, doing five whole pages in Google Docs. Like I don't know what sleep is anymore LOL. Then I break the large chunk of writing I did up into several smaller sections I can put into separate posts on this app that I can post slowly over time to keep people entertained for a longer time instead of posting everything all at once and running out of content.
For example, I might literally have 13 posts in my drafts section ALL from a single batch of writing I did all at once the night before that took me 5 whole hours to write and edit.
In all honestly I am NOT a fast writer at all. I just happen to be able to write giant sections at a time and then split them up so I can post frequently which gives the ILLUSION that I am fast writer because of how often I post content. But in reality it's just been prepared in advance on my sleepless nights where I power through and complete whole pages at a time. (I'm actually a slower snail when it comes to writing because I try to go for quality not quantity -- I take my time to make stories interesting vs just writing as long as I can)
It's convenient too because some days I don't have the inspiration at all/experience writer's block so I can just post content I made over the previous few nights instead to make up for not writing anything new that day.
I also have ADHD which makes it so I can hyperfocus on writing for several hours at a time without a break. Sometimes I'll get really deep into a story where I just can't put down my phone and stop writing to go to sleep.
Thanks again for your WONDERFUL ask! It made my whole day (or night in this case, ironically because that's what it is right now for me as I'm answering this LOL -- proving my point about no sleep 😅😅)
Keep being awesome my new fan!! 🥰 And hope you enjoy more of my stories!
#whump inspiration#whump list#whump writing#whump fic#whump prompt#whumpee#whumper#whumper and whumpee#writing prompt#writing#whump#captive whumpee#cruel whumper#hero whumpee#intimate whumper#living weapon whumpee#restrained whumpee#trapped whumpee#villain whump#vampire whump#whumpee x caretaker#whumpee x whumper#whumptober2024#whumpblr#whump community#writeblr#writers on tumblr#carewhumper
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The Case of the Texas Cowgirl
So. I do not love this episode! I don’t mind the Wild West absurdities—you don’t get as fond of this series as I have without a tolerance for goof, and on the whole I enjoy the cowgirl. But I find it a ‘meh’ episode, and the stereotyping of the Native American character leaves a bad taste—this is one of the only two eps I skip on rewatches. I’ve decided not to do a regular write-up on this one, because I don’t want to.
Instead I have a note on the episode’s portrayal of Chief Running Water, the Native character, and then will cover a few topics I’ve wanted to touch on that are relevant to the series in general. I'll also re-skim the ep for data gathering, which as usual will be posted separately.
Introduction, Ep1 Pt1, Ep1 Pt2, Ep2, Ep3
Chief Running Water
The portrayal of Running Water is emblematic of how this series tends to handle non-English characters/cultures: in theory it seems to mean well, but in practice does rather badly.
There’s no feel of malice in the portrayal of Running Water, that much I will say. Suspicion falls his way because of a tomahawk left at the murder scene, but he’s uninvolved in the crime. Lestrade is mocked for his bigoted treatment of him, and when Running Water mimes scalping Lestrade, it’s not played as representative of a supposed inherent brutality, but as turning Lestrade’s prejudices against him as a prank, because Lestrade is being the worst. Good for Running Water.
But all of this would land much better if the episode wasn’t nearly as engaged in stereotyping as Lestrade. When he’s summoned for questioning, Running Water shows up in the apartment fully decked in what looks like Spirit Halloween "“Indian Chief”" getup, complete with a teepee. And they sure do call him "Indian" throughout the episode. Meanwhile Lestrade is mocked for assuming all Native Americans speak “Indian”, while Wilson informs him that language differs between tribes, and Running Water speaks Blackfoot—yet he greets them with ye olde “How”, which from what I can tell is an anglicized bastardization of a Lakota word. And I'm sure everyone will be shocked to learn he is not in fact played by a Native American actor, let alone a Blackfoot one.
You get the idea. It’s a show from the fifties. In the other occasional episodes with non-English characters, it will continue to be a show from the fifties. There's one other episode I'll probably approach like this and use as an excuse for digging into general topics about the show, since it checks the same two boxes of being offensive and an episode I don't have much to say about anyway. The others all have things I want to dig into around the Unfortunate parts.
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Edit: In the Ao3 comments the brilliant cyraina_de_bergerac offered this counter-argument. It's compelling and well put, so with their permission I'm adding it here:
"In defense of Chief Running Water though, you have to keep in mind that this is basically a circus show where the actors are all caricatures of the Wild West. And our main cowgirl is herself hamming it up a lot. There definitely a through line of not wanting to break character. So it could be read as Running Water not wanting to break character as well. The Englishmen expects him to say How, so he says How. And frankly, I always figured that he actually did understand English the whole interview but really didn't want to be involved with whatever was going on and liked being able to mess with the self-important inspector."
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While on the topic, if you're looking for good representation of Native characters, indigenous writer and film critic Ali Nahdee published this list of non-stereotyped indigenous characters, and the Native creators who published this guide to Native representation in media recommend the Blackfoot/Sámi directed film The Body Remembers When the World Broke Open. (I've seen the The Body Remembers and played Never Alone from the character list, and loved both).
Now, on to some general topics I’ve been wanting to touch on.
Personal Space
I've said before that Holmes and Watson live in one another’s personal space, but personal space rules also just aren’t the same in this universe. I don’t have nearly enough film knowledge to state the reasons with confidence, but it looks like a side-effect of the box-like 4:3 aspect ratio, which was tailored to the shape of the tvs of the era. Without the space to spread out that's provided by the width of modern aspect ratios, if you want a near shot of two people facing forward, well this is just how they’ve gotta stand (Shy Ballerina, 15.39):
Then if you want closeup that encompasses two faces, and god forbid you want them in profile, they’ll be sharing carbon dioxide and that’s that (Mother Hubbard, 17:15):
(^ Sherlock Holmes Some Guy from one scene ^)
Still, however circumstantial the cause, I love the effect. The comfort people feel in one another’s space feeds into the coziness of the show. And because Holmes and Watson are attached at the hip (often literally thanks to the aspect ratio), the physical proximity is still more pronounced between them than with anyone else. It escalates the sense that they’re just so at home revolving around one another.
And there are other choices that seem deliberate regarding their proximity, besides the frame-motivated ones. I went on about two examples in early episodes here and here. It's most obvious in certain wider shots involving at least three people, with this seating arrangement being my current favourite (Eiffel Tower, 19.20):
Another excellent genre is them standing pressed up close even when the frame doesn’t demand it (Mother Hubbard, 11.12):
(Opening credits of every episode):
Speaking of the opening credits, why is the sidewalk so tiny. Why is it also in on this 'well I guess they'll just have to be shoulder to shoulder at all times ¯\_(ツ)_/¯' conspiracy:
(this is the most visible they get in the sequence, sorry).
Then there are the endless little ways they reach for each other without thought—brushing against shoulders, knees, and even hands to direct attention, share amusement, brace for a challenge. And the more deliberate touches too—emotionally taxing cases frequently conclude with a hand on the shoulder or an arm around both shoulders, offering and claiming comfort (Thistle Killer, 25.23):
There’s even a surprisingly linear progression in their proximity (laid out in this post) in final shots between episodes 1 - 8. Eps 1 and 2 end with Watson or Holmes running off and leaving the other behind at the end, then their closeness increases in the conclusion of every episode until ep 8, the first that ends with them walking off together, Holmes’ hand on Watson’s shoulder.
I look forward to seeing if I can spot any other ways the shared space develops across the series.
As a side note, I haven't watched much from this era—if anyone reading this has watched more, I'd be very curious whether the personal space sensibilities in contemporary programs are comparable.
Sherlock and Autism:
I don’t want to get too deep in the ‘lets diagnose Holmes and Watson’ game just now (short version, I headcanon this Holmes as AuDHD, while with Watson I vacillate on specifics beyond ‘not neurotypical’). But one of the joys of Holmes is that ACD, however unintentionally, laid the foundation for a character who can be read as autistic in nearly every adaptation, and this is no exception. I wanted to talk about some of this adaptation's writing and acting choices in that context, because there are several I particularly love:
Eye contact: Holmes tends to vacillate between minimal eye contact—often just quick glances at whoever he’s speaking to—and intense unbroken stares when he’s studying someone or locked into explaining a deduction or a passion project.
Hyper-fixations: This is consistent across just about all Holmeses, but there are specifics I love about this adaptation. At times you really feel that it is painful for him to pull away from something he’s sucked into. Sometimes he’ll do that thing where he makes vague noises of assent to appease whoever is trying to distract him without actually directing attention away from what he’s working on. They don't fall into the trope of conflating hyper-fixation with superhuman ability—Holmes never loses human limitations and fallibilities, and with regard to the violin, the fact that he loves it so so much does not make him good at it <3 They also constantly highlight his passion for experiments, and I love that they don't let that slip into the background!
Social cues: It’s hard to say whether he misses these, because noticed or not they won’t much affect his behaviour, on account of him not giving a flying fuck about them <3 Good for him!
Stimming: There may well be others I’ve missed, but a huge shoutout to ineffabletwaddle13 for noticing and extensively giffing Holmes' habits of rubbing his ear when he laughs, tapping his stomach, and poking Watson (and occasionally others). It’s all very endearing, and can very much be read as stimming. Sometimes the way he plays with his pipe also reads as stimming to me, although this is harder to pinpoint since everyone in this show vaguely waves around and sucks at their pipes in a manner that bears dubious relation to the business of actually smoking.
Facial expressions: This Holmes is very expressive and in many ways very open. He laughs, speaks passionately, compliments others, puts on grandiose performances, and is warmly affectionate. Indeed, he expresses himself so thoroughly in other ways that it was a bit before I registered his expression tends neutral. Not that he doesn’t at times grin or look frightened, etc, but on the whole his face just isn’t his primary locus for expressing emotion. For instance: he smiles at Watson all the time, but often this consists of his eyes softening and his lips turning up so barely that I'm second-guessing whether he actually is smiling. Being myself a brand of autistic where I have to remind myself to express emotions on my face as an act of communication, it’s easy to read Howard Holmes this way as well.
So yeah. I love that guy 😊
(I might go on about the ADHD as well at some point, but I haven’t paid as much attention to that in past watches and want to gather more concrete examples. But for a start, consider his unpacking methods).
I’ll be back to the usual format for the next episode, and am looking forward to it—Belligerent Ghost is one of my favourites in what I think of as Act I of the series. And if anyone is particularly fond of Texas Cowgirl I’d love to hear your thoughts, I’m down for having my opinion changed!
#yay this one is done!#as always i love to hear people's thoughts/additions/disagreements!#howard holmes#sherlock holmes 1954#john watson#sherlock holmes#the texas cowgirl
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Writer 20 Questions
I was tagged by @stephmcx and @itwoodbeprefect back when trilobites roamed the earth. Um, sorry?
How many works do you have on A03? Actually, I’m mostly on Dreamwidth so:
Dreamwidth ~150 fics
AO3 is 59 fics
What's your total AO3 word count?
DW is 1,012,997
A03 is 404,628
note: I don’t keep an exact track of my separate poetry journal but there are 947 poems—so I am guessing that’s another 75,000 words😁
What fandoms do you write for? Currently? Steve and Danny from Hawaii Five-0 have stolen both my heart and my muse!
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
* Care and Feeding of a SuperSEAL
* Trusses of my Heart
* A Bodyguard for Christmas
* The Long Road Home (Broken Road on DW)
* Five Times Steve was an Idiot, but Danny Kissed Him Anyway
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do respond to comments, but in a completely random and haphazard way because I am incable of being organized😂
What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? My H50 comment fic ‘Anger’ is definitely my most angsty ending. And yes, it’s yet another fic I need to cross-post to A03…
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? It’s a toss up between Care and Feeding and Bodyguard. I love happy ever afters!
Do you get hate on fics? Not on my fics per se, but I called out some people who were bullying a friend of mine in another fandom—and they decided to repost all my fics on other sites to punish me for speaking up. So, now all my fic is on Dreamwidth and friend-locked. I am slowly cross-post H50 fic to A03, but I doubt I will ever cross-post fic from that other fandom.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I will write sex if its necessary for the story, but porn is definitely one of my weak spots as a writer.
Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Occaisonally. I wrote an Addams FamilyxAvengers that was very short and very silly😂
Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes, many. At least I am really good at writing DMCA letters now?
Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope, but I had few pod-ficced ages and ages ago.
Have you ever co-written a fic before? I used to co-write regularly, but my co-writers all got super busy😭
What's your all-time favorite ship? I think McDanno has ruined me for all other ships.
What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I have a X-MenxSupernatural fic that my co-writer had to abandon.
What are your writing strengths?I love to world build and have been told my AUs are very believable. Even when I do really crazy stuff, like **checks notes** space spiders.😁
What are your writing weaknesses? Writing sex scenes. Definitely.
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
In general, I think writers are still working out how to write fanfic that is easy to read on mobile screens. For example, long paragraphs and conversations between more than three people are sooo much harder to read on a mobile phone.
Heck, I’ve even stopped using italics for dream sequences/flashbacks because it’s just not readable on a small screen. And then there’s coding. **Sigh** Dreamwidth has updated their coding and now I really need to reformat my entire journal because the changed have made my older fanfic much harder to read.
So when it comes to different languages or dialects, I try to come up with something that will make it easier for my readers, instead of relying on the ‘proper’ way to do things. I don’t know if I’m always successful, but I at least make a stab at it. And since I have a fic I’m currently rewriting that has 13 different languages in it, I definitely spend more time than I want to admit thinking about this problem! 🥵🤪
First fandom you wrote for? Duran Duran bandom. Yes, I just dated myself😂😂😂
Favorite fic you've ever written? My fic with the most kudos is Care and Feeding of a Super SEAL. The fic that people are still dming me about is So Let Me Set Your Battlements On Fire over on dreamwidth.
Tagging @cowandcalf @actingcamplibrarian @stellagioia @redgoldblue @bennyokelly and anybody else who wants to play!
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Small progress update on my mom sold me to the detective prince :)
So, chapter 14 is still far from ready. BUT! I have finally caved and switched to using a different writing program than docs, and in the process I went through the effort of actually organising my warzone of a notes system (which was basically four different notes systems, comprised of comments on the google doc, the bottom ten pages of the google doc, a file in my phone’s notes app, and screenshots from my texts with my beta, and of course none of it was actually organized and half of was no longer accurate to my current plan for the fic).
I also finished a COMPLETE preliminary outline. By which I mean that I have a tentative plan going all the way up to the end of the fic, but it can change at any time if I have a better idea or whatever. Said summary is like, 5k words long. And still doesn’t cover everything (it covers the main beats but not all the fallout of events, like if someone dies then it’s in the summary but the character reactions to said death is not). I gotta say, I’m pretty excited about what I came up with. Now it’s just a matter of getting there…
I haven’t organized all of it into individual chapters, but if I had to guess then I’d estimate the total complete fic will be something around 80 chapters long (mind you, that’s completely subjective to change. In the past one chapter has become three, so. Yeah. Give this estimate a 20 chapter buffer on both ends) and 500k ish words (again a total guess and with a large buffer).
I’m hoping that the writing program switch will make things easier, especially organisation-wise.
If anyone is wondering, I switched to Elipsus, and I am loving it so far. I’ll be making a separate post basically just singing its praises. Highly recommend for any writers out there, 10/10 program.
Anyway, chapter 14 is going to be MASSIVE. Should I probably split it up into multiple chapters? Yeah. Will I? No, because I like how dramatic it is. Think if it like a season finale, 2 hours long compared to the normal 45 minute episodes. It’s going to be the “final” chapter of the Kamoshida arc - sort of. There’s still the fallout to get through, and that’s going to be just as dramatic, at least in my opinion. Don’t worry though, we’ll be at the second palace soon. Provided my outline doesn’t change, chapter 18 will be the start of Yusuke.
In other news, my schedule has gotten busier. By a lot. School things have come up, and I’m trying to make some money by getting a part time job I’ll still write when I can, but I might need to change the post schedule again. That remains to be seen. Regardless of what happens there, I WILL continue making these progress reports, as well as always posting on the same day, even if the gaps between chapters is inconsistent.
I might make the discord server public on here, before the chapter is posted. That’s only if it isn’t done by the end of the week, though.
As always, feel free to scream at me in asks, comments, and dm’s about whatever you want. If you ask a question then there like a 90% chance I’ll answer (the 10% being if it’s private info about me or my beta). Suggestions are always welcome too!
That’s it for now, see ya’ll eventually
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You had ONE job!
(Author stands in front the group tasked with killing Nima. Behind the author is a white board on which is a picture of a short stick figure with glasses, a messy drawing of hair on top and could be a body double for a platypus and no one would know the difference.) (Author snaps a pointer on the picture.) "You SEE this?! You see what it looks like!?" (Snaps the pointer over to a second stick figure on the white board which is much taller, has a neat head of hair and could double as a telephone pole.) "And you see THIS!?" (Pauses) "Can ANYONE P.L.E.A.S.E. explain to me how you can possibly MISTAKE the two?" (Group member 1) "It was dark?" "This whole show has looked like it was filmed in a mile deep bunker where they forgot to pay the electric bill. Try again." (Group member 2) "He had his back to us?" (Author angerly taps the two pictures again.) "Height alone should have been a tip off!" (Group member 3) "He was leaned over!" "Even at waist high he was still taller than that little weasel!" "Just a minute! Why are you so upset? You didn't like the character anyway. Why are you so upset about what happened to him?" "Because his 'sacrifice' made no sense whatsoever. Now get out there and try again!" (Author stands at the door and hands out 5X7 glossy's as they leave.)
And yes, folks, I am more than a little peeved at how they wrote Bennett Knox's character out of the show. The scene was poorly thought out by the writers and once again, I wish they would get off the crack. Now, having read ahead in this show, I have a bit of insight into things that are going to happen. And each character demise thus far has left me sitting in front of my TV thinking "Whattttttt?" I was fine with Zarah being written off. She was a self-serving little so-and-so from the start. Good riddance. But lets take a look at their latest 'It's the last season, lets see what we can do for shock value' action. 1. Did the trains need to be separated RIGHT THEN! No. This was a poorly contrived plot point. 2. What? Big Alice doesn't have ONE, single survival suit? You couldn't take five seconds of film time to slip his skinny little butt into it? And it isn't like he doesn't know about them! He's spent 50% of the series in one. I swear, I think the character sleeps in one he loves them so much. 3. The most important people on the trains are the engineers. Yet THESE are the characters you choose to write off the show? What? Did Bennett 'MacGyver' Knox run out of ideas suddenly. You're asking me to believe that a man who could come up with all the fun little tricks he has thus far in the show, could think of NOTHING better than to walk out into freezing cold weather to uncouple a train car? Sirs, you both insult and tax my level of disbelief. 4. Poor Melanie now has no one to talk science to except the smarmy little weasel. And talking to Nima is like talking to a Schizophrenic who has been off his meds for a month. And believe me folks, in my line of work, I know a thing or two about what this looks like. (Holds up a picture of Nima.) 5. Standing at the door, after the cars were uncoupled, Bennett was still alive. What? Did 99% of his brain freeze first and he didn't think, 'Hey, I can turn around and run back into the train!'. Instead he just STOOD there and froze? (See end of item 3 comment.) 6. In the 'The writers have no idea what their doing' column, I would like to point out that if you know anything about living up north, it is not for a fashionable look that people wear scarfs wrapped around their noses outside in 12 degree weather. If you don't, your lungs freeze LONG before the rest of you does. Why? Because of the moisture in them. Executing people on the train by strapping a mask on them with a tube leading to the outside took what?.....30 seconds? Yet Bennett had time to run down a corridor with no more protection than a winter coat and gloves, uncouple a train car, then stand back up and admire the view. Why did he not turn his skinny little butt around instead and run back up said corridor and into the train? This whole scene just made no sense.
Here's what I think happened: (The following is the author's interpretation of what happened at the end of S4E5.) (In the writers trailer, they are staring at names pinned to the wall, deciding who they can legitimately write off the show before the end and still have enough characters left to have an end.) (Iddo Goldberg walks into the trailer.) "Hi, guys. Look, I have a slight problem." "What is it? We're busy." "Well, I have another opportunity with this new show that's starting filming in a few weeks, and I....sort of need off the train." "Done! Have a nice life." "Thanks, guys. You're the best." (Goldberg leaves and the writers quickly smile at each other.) "Gone by the halfway point?" "No problem."
And I understand this was suppose to be a 7 seasons show, and the writers are annoyed because they had this great storyboard already planned out and now they have to cram everything into ten episodes. It bites. But could you at least leave a few main characters alive? And I would do a revised 'Who makes it and who doesn't' list. But due to my getting out my trusty shovel and digging into sites where people post who have seen the entire season already, I can't do this anymore. But in regards to the original list I made and how wrong it is.......I'm amazed.
One last word of warning, folks. Be sure in the next 1-2 episodes to have a thick layer of towels set under your TV screen. Because when Melanie finds out what happened to Bennett......well, we all know how that goes. And it will surely be...messy.
#snowpiercer tv#snowpiercer theories#snowpiercer s4#melanie cavill#bennett knox#Smarmy little weasel Nima
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2023 in Books, Part 2
(posting a day late, oops)
This was a pretty great literary year for me. Even the books at the end of this list I enjoyed reading. I left out an anthology I read for class (Peach Pit is ... interesting) and a book of poetry written by someone I know, just because I don't know anything about poetry and don't want my personal feelings about the poet (she's great) to muddle it even further. I also already posted a separate list ranking the six children's/YA books I read. That still leaves thirty-one books to rank, though.
As usual, this is based entirely on personal preference/enjoyment and not necessarily on quality of writing or story. I reserve the right to change my mind about this ranking as soon as I post it because I am fickle like that. (Although I don't think I'm going to change my mind about my number 1 choice.) Here ya go.

31. The Ex Hex by Erin Sterling Dates Read: Dec. 12-13 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: A witch accidentally curses her ex-boyfriend, and by extension her small magical Georgia town. She and her ex have to lift the curse without falling in love (which of course they do anyway). One-sentence review: (directly from my GR review) Cute and witchy, just the thing to get you through finals week.
30. Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld Dates Read: April 28-May 7 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: A musician and comedy writer seem to hit it off when the musician guest stars on the comedy writer’s late-night show, only for the writer to blow it by assuming the musician is a shallow womanizer. A few years later, they rekindle their connection during pandemic lockdowns. One-sentence review: I liked the characters, but as usual Sittenfeld is more interested in commenting on whatever she saw on Twitter while she was writing this then she was on, like, writing a dramatic plot.
29. The Murder of Mr. Wickham by Claudia Gray Dates Read: Aug. 19-27 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: All of Jane Austen’s beloved couples (except the Tilneys), plus the Darcys’ son and the Tilneys’ daughter, attend a house party at the Knightleys’ where Mr. Wickham turns up and is immediately murdered. One-sentence review: This is what P.D. James’ Death Comes to Pemberley SHOULD have been.
28. Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus Dates Read: May 24-27 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: It’s the 1960s, and chemist Elizabeth Zott was kicked out of her Ph.D. program for reporting her supervisor for rape, and then loses her job after she becomes pregnant outside wedlock, and ends up starting her own STEM cooking show and some other stuff happens, look, I know you already read the reviews of this one. One-sentence review: It was fine, I just thought it was overrated.
27. The Paris Deception by Bryn Turnbull Dates Read: Aug. 23-Sept. 7 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: Two women immersed in the French art world in the 1930s and ‘40s defy their German occupiers by hiding, documenting, and sometimes copying “degenerate” art to keep it from the hands of high-ranking Nazi officials and sympathizers, or to keep it from being destroyed. One-sentence review: The main characters were great and I really like the focus on protecting art and culture from extermination, but the constant time jumps drove me nuts.
26. Forever, Interrupted by Taylor Jenkins Reid Dates Read: April 3-5 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: Less than two weeks into her marriage, a young woman is widowed and only meets her mother-in-law at the hospital. The two strangers find a way to navigate their grief together. One-sentence review: While the grief could be gut-wrenching due to Reid’s fantastic writing, the characters were nothing spectacular.
25. Hell’s Half-Acre: The Untold Story of the Benders, America’s First Serial Killer Family by Susan Jonusas Dates Read: Jan. 29-31 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: The Benders were a creepy family in late 19th Century Kansas who murdered people who stayed at their boarding house and then disappeared before they could be arrested. One-sentence review: I’m not super into true crime—it has to be historical for me to even start it--but I did like the look at life in the Midwest.
24. Galatea by Madeline Miller Dates Read: Jan. 6 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: Madeline Miller retells the Pygmalion myth in a way that doesn’t suck. One-sentence review: Miller smartly skips the gender misery by making this a short story and then delivers an extremely satisfying ending.

23. My Sister, the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite Dates Read: July 26 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: Korede and Ayoola are sisters who fall for the same man. Ayoola is hot and a serial killer, and Korede is getting pretty tired of covering for her. One-sentence review: Despite (or perhaps because) all the characters are awful, this book STAYS with you, and I feel like it would be a blast to talk about in a drunken book club. Note: I listened to the audiobook and want to give narrator Adepero Oduye a shout out.
22. The Weaver and the Witch Queen by Genevieve Gornichec Dates Read: July 24-Aug. 17 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: Three friends in Medieval Scandinavia find themselves in the middle of a Game of Thrones-esque rivalry for the crown and a deadly battle between supernatural forces. One-sentence review: Good story and I liked the characters, but it moved too slowly sometimes.
21. The Wedding Dress Sewing Circle by Jennifer Ryan Dates Read: May 7-10 GoodReads Rating: Four stars (I was feeling more generous about Grace marrying Hugh than I am right now) Summary: A sewing circle in a small English village in the 1940s decide to pool their talents and resources to help English brides wear the perfect white gown to their weddings, clothing rations be damned. One-sentence review: Ryan excels at writing about women and civilians in wartime, and I would have ranked this so much higher if it hadn’t ended with the best character marrying the worst one.

20. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid Dates Read: Jan. 31-Feb. 8 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: Aging actress Evelyn Hugo (who is not Elizabeth Taylor, by which I mean she absolutely is Elizabeth Taylor) invites a young journalist to write her life story. One-sentence review: The plot was engaging and thought-provoking, but I never could decide how I felt about Evelyn.
19. A House with Good Bones by T. Kingfisher Dates Read: Oct. 28-Nov. 1 GoodReads Rating: Three stars Summary: An archaeologist visits her mother at the family home in North Carolina only to find that her grandmother’s ghost is haunting it. But how do you banish a ghost once you learn it’s keeping something far worse at bay? One-sentence review: Of all the haunted house books I read this year, this one was the worst, and yet it was still great.
19. To Swoon and to Spar by Martha Waters (That’s right, I ranked a trashy Regency romance above both Romantic Comedy AND Lessons in Chemistry) Dates Read: May 17-24 GoodReads Rating: Four stars (Objectively, this was too many, but I also don’t care.) Summary: When Viscount Penvale’s uncle promises to sell him back the family estate for a steal if Penvale marries his uncle’s ward Jane, Penvale reluctantly agrees. He and Jane make an agreement to leave each other alone, but Penvale didn’t expect to fall in love with her. Nor did he expect his family house to be haunted. One-sentence review: The Regency Vows series just keeps getting better, honestly.
17. A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson Dates Read: Aug. 31-Oct. 13 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: Humor writer Bill Bryson and his on-again-off-again friend Katz decide to hike the Appalachian Trail, and Bryson tells you all about its history and natural resources along the way. There are moose, but no (confirmed) bears. One-sentence review: This book got me really into nature and hiking again.
16. The Shining by Stephen King Dates Read: Dec. 1-4 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: I know you know what this book’s about. One-sentence review: Super tense, riveting look into the mind of a toxic, self-absorbed abuser who doesn’t need to be anywhere near blizzards, haunted houses, or children.
15. Carrie Soto Is Back by Taylor Jenkins Reid Dates Read: July 12-23 GoodReads Rating: Five stars (Objectively, this book probably deserves that. Subjectively, I like Regency romances and journalists better than sports stars.) Summary: A retired tennis star full of rage and ambition makes a comeback to keep a younger player from breaking her record. One-sentence review: An absorbing, balanced take on the pressures women athletes face, plus a heart-warming father-daughter story, with some romance and female friendships to round it out.

14. Swamp Story by Dave Barry Dates Read: Dec. 30 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: There is actually too much going on to summarize this book, but suffice to say it involves a desperate single mom, her shirtless fame-hounding ex-boyfriend, a failed journalist with a drinking problem, and a lot of people in the Florida Everglades looking for a cryptid OR Confederate gold OR pythons. One-sentence review: Dave Barry writes about Florida like it’s a drunk, eccentric relative who everyone hangs around at the family reunion even though he smells bad, because he has the best stories.
13. Vampires of El Norte by Isabel Cañas Dates Read: Oct. 15-28 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: During the Mexican-American War, a Wuthering Heights-esque couple learn their homeland is being stalked by vampires. One-sentence review: You root for the couple, you root for the Mexicans, you even root for the vampires once or twice, but you never root for the Texas Rangers. Note: The couple is Wuthering Heights-esque in the sense that he is poor, she is rich, they were childhood sweethearts, and then they were separated—not in the toxic incest way.
12. A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall Dates Read: July 12-23 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: A trans woman believed to be dead at the Battle of Waterloo reinvents herself and returns home to England, only to find that her best friend has been consumed by grief over her death. As she helps him heal—and he slowly falls for her—she battles with whether to tell him who she really is. One-sentence review: I'm a sucker for love stories in which the couple are torn asunder, believe they will never see each other again, and then are reunited unexpectedly. Note: This actually would have ranked a lot higher if all the main couple’s angst wasn’t basically resolved in the first half. The second half is fine but not as good.
11. The Lover by Silvia Moreno-Garcia Dates Read: Dec. 26 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: A young woman must choose between two potential “lovers” who come from the woods in this dark fairy tale novella. One-sentence review: Finally, a good werewolf book.

10. The Dark Queens: The Bloody Rivalry That Forged the Medieval World by Shelley Puhak Dates Read: April 4-14 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: Puhak writes about the feud between rival Merovingian queens Fredegund and Brunhild in sixth century western Europe. One-sentence review: It’s like Game of Thrones, but real, shorter, and with more women and less sexual assault.
9. Lafayette in the Somewhat United States by Sarah Vowell Dates Read: Dec. 14-25 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: Vowell writes Lafayette’s biography, focusing on his and the larger French role in the American Revolution, all while musing on our country’s inability to agree on anything. One-sentence review: Vowell’s irreverent essay style is just the tone needed to tackle the oft-romanticized American Revolution.
8. The Hacienda by Isabel Cañas Dates Read: July 23-26 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: In the aftermath of the Mexican War for Independence, a young bride moves to her landed husband’s country estate, only to find that the house is super haunted and her new in-laws super racist. One-sentence review: Your standard haunted house story, except the ghost is colonialism.
7. Under the Whispering Door by T.J. Klune Dates Read: Oct. 29-31 GoodReads Rating: Five stars (was probably generous, but the ending had just made me cry, so) Summary: When workaholic Wallace dies, his spirit is sent to a teashop for transition to the afterlife. But after a few weeks of hanging around teashop owner and “ferryman” Hugo, his reaper, and the ghosts of Hugo’s dog and grandfather, Wallace realizes he doesn’t want to leave what he’s coming to think of as his family. One-sentence review: A lovely mixture of funny and sad, this book is a nuanced look at death and found family.
6. Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia Dates Read: Nov. 1-6 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: A debutante from Mexico City visits her cousin’s haunted house in the countryside where she’s pulled into a mystery surrounding her cousin’s eugenics-obsessed in-laws. One-sentence review: Noemi is a fantastic character, and the plot is engrossing, which is good because you will hate all the other characters.
5. Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer Dates Read: Aug. 9-29 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: In 1996, Outside magazine sent Jon Krakauer to cover the burgeoning commercialization of Mount Everest. When Krakauer climbed the mountain himself, he and his team got caught in a freak snowstorm that resulted in what was then the worst disaster in the history of the mountain. One-sentence review: Apart from being a really tense and riveting account of a brutal natural disaster in an already brutal environment, Krakauer’s account of the 1996 storm on Everest raises questions about who should be on the world’s highest mountain and whether money and fame have blinded guides and climbers to the risks of tackling the summit.

4. The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty Dates Read: Nov. 20-30 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: Amina al-Sirafi, a retired smuggler and single mom on the Arabian peninsula, has to get her old band crew back together for the promise of more money than they’ve ever dreamed of when wealthy grandmother hires Amina to rescue her kidnapped granddaughter. But things go awry when the crew learns the girl is with an evil crusader with plans to unleash dark magic and monsters on the world. Inspired by the rich mythology, religions, and history of the Middle East, East Africa, and the Indian Ocean. One-sentence review: I have not had so much fun reading a fantasy novel since I was a kid reading Harry Potter and I can’t wait for the sequel.

3. Lone Women by Victor LaValle Dates Read: Oct. 5-12 GoodReads Rating: Four stars Summary: In the early 1900s, a woman burns her parents’ mangled bodies in their California farmhouse and flees to Montana with a secret locked in a heavy trunk. One-sentence review: Frankenstein meets Calamity Jane in this horror Western about race and female friendships.

2. We Could Be So Good by Cat Sebastian Dates Read: Oct. 28-Nov. 9 GoodReads Rating: Five stars Summary: Two men reporting for a progressive newspaper in 1950s New York fall in love. One-sentence review: I mean, it’s journalists in love in the 1950s, and one of them is investigating police corruption and the other covered a Civil Rights meeting in DC, so of course I loved this book.

1. The Correspondents: Six Women Writers on the Front Lines of World War II by Judith Mackrell Dates Read: Nov. 27-Dec. 26 (during finals and holidays with family—I don’t think I could have finished the book if it wasn’t so good) GoodReads Rating: Five stars Summary: Mackrell covers the WWII careers of six journalists—a correspondent in Berlin who ingratiated herself in the Nazi Party to tell America about Hitler’s plans for world domination; a photojournalist for Vogue who took pictures from the Blitz to Dachau; a young American whose coverage of both sides of the Spanish Civil War catapulted her to journalistic stardom; Martha Gellhorn whose fury at her husband (you’ve heard of him) compelled her to illegally stow away on board a hospital ship and cover the invasion of Normandy from Omaha Beach while helping wounded soldiers; a rogue freelancer who broke the story of the invasion of Poland and whose thrill-chasing career took her from there to Greece to North Africa and beyond; and Helen Kirkpatrick, who covered the liberation of Paris while Hemingway was getting plastered at the Ritz.
Review: There is too much to say about this book. Mackrell did an incredible job. These journalists’ triumphs and tragedies play out alongside the triumphs and tragedies of the world’s biggest conflict. Each woman had different motivations and goals, from thrill-seeking to career-making, from spite to idealism to simply a love of journalism and dogged search for the truth. While Sigrid Schultz’s Chicago editor applauded Hitler’s control of Germany, Sigrid warned his readers of Hitler’s ambition. When the world turned a blind eye to Hitler’s military build-up and annexation of half of Europe, Virginia Cowles and Helen Kirkpatrick wrote furiously against Chamberlain’s policy of appeasement. And while the rest of the world celebrated the end of the war in Europe, Lee Miller swept through Dachau taking pictures and refusing to ignore the human cost of fascism and war.
All of this was at great personal risk. The Nazis tapped Sigrid’s phone and searched her house until she was finally forced to flee to America in the early 1940s (where her editor promptly benched her for three and a half years). Virginia dodged bombs in Madrid, and Helen dodged bullets in Paris. And Lee Miller defiantly washed off the stink of Dachau in Hitler’s own bath, which was immortalized in a photo her equally defiant boyfriend took in the days after the Fuhrer’s death. Mackrell’s prose also gets into the nitty gritty of correspondent life, how the reporters all camped out in hotels and spent their days chasing stories and their nights drinking whiskey. She discusses the friendships and rivalries—Marth and Virginia became great friends in Spain and eventually wrote a play together satirizing the misogyny they faced during the war. And while the stars are the six I mentioned above, cameos include Mary Welch (Hemingway’s wife after Martha), Dorothy Thompson, Vogue editor Audrey Withers, and “Maggie the indestructible” who convinced an American commander to let her go on a bombing mission over North Africa, paving the way for other women correspondents on the front line after the US entered the war. Plus there are appearances from Picasso, both Randolph and Winston Churchill, Eleanor Roosevelt, Dwight Eisenhower, David Lloyd George, the Duke of Windsor after he abdicated, Hemingway of course, and half the Nazi high command. Mackrell uses the women’s own words to describe the bombing of Madrid, the mass evacuation from Paris, the refugee crises in Eastern Europe, and the Night of Long Knives in Germany. Every moment is riveting as Mackrell and the women she writes about pull you into Europe of the 1940s.
#iz blogs about books#long post#the correspondents#the correspondents was so good you guys#also in my top 10#we could be so good#lone women#the adventures of amina al-sirafi#into thin air#mexican gothic#under the whispering door#the hacienda#lafayette in the somewhat united states#the dark queens#authors are#judith mackrell#cat sebastian#victor lavalle#shannon chakraborty#jon krakauer#silvia moreno garcia#tj klune#isabel canas#sarah vowell#shelley puhak#i loved how many of those authors' names autofilled as i tried to tag this#there are 21 other books on this list so i'm not going to tag all of them#anyway#happy new year
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Traffic/Evo Watcher headcanon, don't mind me
Ok, so we've known awhile now that the next season of the Life series is going to be released soon, so naturally I've been re-watching the previous seasons and going over POVs I hadn't seen before. While going down this rabbit hole I came across a Martyn stream I missed where he was talking about the Watchers lore and how he and Grian worked on it for Evo and then he kind of altered it from what Grian originally imagined (i.e. the Watchers being representative of us, the audience, who watch them for entertainment) to the more sinister lore we Traffic connoisseurs are familiar with today. This got me thinking. A lot. Too much even. What if we, the audience, were STILL the Watchers? I'm not talking about for the Life series or Evo series specifically, I'm thinking more broad spectrum, like across the MCYT multiverse type thing. I like a cohesive story, and I like puzzles, and when there are stories that look like they could be pieces of a bigger puzzle I enjoy smooshing them together in one giant headcanon that more or less makes sense, so here we go.
The canon lore we have (as I understand it anyway) is as follows: the Watchers first made themselves known during Evo, where they messed with the Evolutionists as they went through each Minecraft update, ultimately separating them for the final dragon fight where Grian would leave Evo and become a Watcher himself. From there the Listeners (who I know diddly squat about) got involved and helped the Evolutionists escape the Evo server, thus getting them away from Watcher influence. Or so they hoped. The Watchers somehow regained power over the Players that were involved in Evo, along with some of their friends, and put them in what is essentially a never-ending loop of death games as punishment for their defiance. Grian didn't like how the Watchers operated, so he left them to join his friend in the death games. The Watchers feed off the Players' negative emotions, but leave their memories, thus enabling them to start fresh each season without holding on to previous grudges (though considering Impulse's thing with BDubs and the clock and Tango's rage that might not be entirely effective)
This is where my headcanon comes in. The Watchers are a group of people/sentient beings of some kind who feed off of the negative emotions of others and watch their misery and struggles for entertainment. They're a mischievous bunch, some might even say troll-like (of the internet variety, not like in fairy tales), and at least two of them enjoy speaking in rhyme, i.e. they're artistic and dramatic. Sound familiar? Because to me this description sounds very much like the wider MCYT fanbase, especially the fan artists/writers. I mean come on, when have we NOT jumped at the opportunity to turn a pretty normal moment into the angstiest piece of writing/art imaginable. Case in point, Mumbo and Grian at the ghast farm in Last Life. They were giggling through that whole interaction, yet I've watched SEVERAL angsty animatics about just that one scene and I've loved every second of it.
This next bit is likely a pretty big reach, but the thought popped into my head and wouldn't go away so I would just like to get it out there. Grian doesn't really interact with his comments on an individual basis, but he definitely has addressed the more negative ones, especially the ones that go after his friends when they're on an opposing side of whatever war he's started at that moment in time. This ties in pretty well with him not liking the way the Watchers operate in my opinion, and it also ties in with him leaving the Watchers to help his friends. Not necessarily directly, but more in the sense of the vibes matching up.
We currently don't know enough about the Watchers to definitively say how plausible this headcanon of mine is, like we don't know exactly how many Watchers there are, or how many Listeners there are, or what separates a Watcher from a Listener, or really any info about the Listeners in general. I do think it's a pretty fun headcanon though, and until it is directly contradicted this is how I will view the Watchers. Thank you for reading my essay.
#the watchers#evo smp#traffic life series#last life#trafficblr#watcher headcanon#limited life#third life
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I just wanna thank you so much for your completely earned deconstruction of the writer/reader relationship. I have 2 separate writing blogs, and one, my main in fact, I've all but completely given up on until I want to write again. The other is being transferred to be my new main, and I'm not sure if I'll take requests. I've been debating just taking commissions that I'm comfortable with, and posting my own writing when the mood strikes. You've really made me think, and I appreciate that so much! ❤️
I'm not sure if you've had a similar experience, but basically one of my works exploded somewhat and another did to a lesser extent. I was working on other things and all anyone cared about was those two fics.
When I tell you I pored hours upon hours into this super high fantasy rewrite crossover of my favorite game with the same characters, I mean it. My first chapter was over 8k and I made sure I did a bunch of research to nail both the combat, and dialouge.
I posted it, initially meant to be posted between that and one of the fics- only for it to be ignored and instead all I got was update asks. No-one cared when it was right in my rules that it gave me anxiety and made me not want to write.
It got so bad, I literally dropped the blog. I haven't updated my most popular work since 2019 and I've only the past 6 months got inspired for the secondary popular fic. I got so in my head- desperate to do what my readers wanted and not upset anyone. To this day the next chapter sits half written, with me still torn to rewrite it entirely, or just finish it the way I want to and go from there. Yet it's so soured for me. I still love my concept. I still kind of want to repurpose it and flesh it out but I just get such a bitter taste in my mouth and I freeze and get anxiety even now when I re-read it.
Ironically the lack of reception to my passion project was my wake up call. I was genuinely devastated. I had one thankfully amazing commenter(of course on Archive of Our Own), who didn't know my niche little fantasy video game save its very opening hours(It's Final Fantasy 4, in case you're curious), but clicked anyway and gushed about my execution. A whole 4-5 paragraphs. I cried when I read it, beaming ear to ear grin.
If it wasn't for her? I very well may have quit posting my writing altogether and you know what? I still post that fic. Slowly, granted. My 2nd chapter was 9k+ and the 3rd is looking to be over 10k and has taken over 2 years thanks to a lot going on. She posted again on that 2nd chapter though! And I go back and read it when I need inspiration. I'm basically solely posting it for her.
Just...thanks. For sharing how you feel on this. I've always really struggled with feeling selfish, or like I have no right to ask for a comment. I still can put myself down and feel incredibly guilty, especially about that constantly asked about fic. Feel like I should take the likes and update asks with a smile because "that means they like it, obviously, they're asking for more, right?" I don't think people not actively creating and posting get it, and you truly put it into words in a way I've struggled with for years.
I'm new here, and still playing through the game and all, but please know at least I see you. I appreciate all the hard work you do and put in. You don't owe any of anything, and I'm so grateful for anything you choose to share with us. I think a lot of people underestimate how intimate sharing our writing is.
Also appreciate you mentioning the difference in respect between fanartists and fanwriters. SO many people think "Anyone can write." and we get belittled so much faster for offering commissions too. It takes just as much skill, whether people believe that or not.
Just...thanks. For real. You've given me a lot to consider as I work on transferring my new blog over and I appreciate it more than you know. ❤️ -S
That genuinely means a lot, it's an honour to have even meant something to anyone at all.
Especially someone struggling with the same thing I am. Thank you for taking the time to write and tell me this, i never thought anyone would bother to read my rant or take it seriously.
I relate to a lot of the things you've just described, it's really horrible how the world can twist something we love and are passionate for into something that hurts us instead. I'm never forgiving anyone who made me feel anxious about writing a story I was excited about or for posting something knowing instead of feedback I'd be met with asks about updating the more popular story.
And I'm happy to hear that you take commissions, just to make it clear I'm totally against the whole "mixing money with art makes it lose meaning" fiasco. I think it's stupid and people who claim that they don't understand that you can never put art in a box or steal its meaning away, that artists are people who need to eat and pay their bills too.
Your writing more than deserves money, it's something intimate that we pour our heart into, that we take parts of our life experience and memories and put it in the story to give it its own life.
Fuck anyone who thinks writing is below art, just because it's written words. They never consider the planning, creativity, writing style and experience, the research, plot and energy it takes.
If anything at least you can draw and paint while listening to music or watching youtube, you can let your hand go on autopilot every now and then. With writing it's one of those jobs you can't distract your mind from, you have to be present and you have to focus on every word and line, consider every dialogue option and every descriptive word, it's draining mentally and takes so much focus.
Both art and writing are important, all artists deserve respect and compensation for their work. People are getting too comfortable demanding work that takes literal hours from your life for free or a low price, a work they'll consume so quickly and never give a second thought to.
I hope things get better for both you and me, I hope we find readers who appreciate us for who we are, who actually respect and value our work instead of consuming it mindlessly, who understand what it takes to create and the amount of time we're giving out for free.
Who realise that taking 10 or 5 minutes to write a comment under a fic and phrase it politely isn't that hard, how it's literally all we ask for because it means the world to see someone appreciate our effort.
Good luck on your new blog <3 Close the requests whenever you want and open them whenever you want. Write how you want to, and please don't let anyone steal the joy of writing away from you.
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[20 Question Fic Writer Tag]
tagged by @brasideios - Thank you thank you!
How many works do you have on AO3? 16
What is your AO3 word count? 179,340
What fandoms do you write for? Currently Trigun, Jujutsu Kaisen and Assassin's Creed Valhalla
What are your top five fics by kudos? But Like a Refuge (Trigun), Because the Night (Trigun), Sweets for the Sweet (Trigun), Midnattssol (ACV), Water of Life (ACV)
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes, if I don't then there was a clerical error on my part or something. Comments make me feel great so of course I'm gonna return the vibe.
What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Gefinn Óðni, maybe. Honestly all my fics currently up have positive or hopeful endings. If I went through my pre AO3 fics I'm sure I could find worse. lol
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Sweets for the Sweet is pure donut eating fluff so probably that. Or But Like A Refugee since someone lives when they would have died in canon.
Do you get hate on fics? Nah
Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes, mlm mostly, have written all orientations in the past. Got some m/f and m/m/f coming down the pipeline (in theory lol).
Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I keep mixing Lovecraft into things, so idk if that counts. I keep pondering a GO/Trigun crossover but IDK. One crossover I started 15 years ago, but never finished (I still have it though!) was Kenren (Saiyuki Gaiden)/Kakashi (Naruto) where Kenren was ex military and Kakashi was an assassin whose inner dialogue comes in the form of his dead fellow assassin-former-lover's voice (that'd be Iruka XD). It is 100% the wackiest thing I ever thought up and I honestly would LOVE to finish it.
Have you ever had a fic stolen? I don't think so.
Have you ever had a fic translated? No.
Have you ever cowritten a fic before? No but I'd give it a try. Back in the day I did do some writer-artist collabs.
What's your all-time favourite ship? I could not possibly choose one. <- yeah what Jenn said. But I'm gonna go off anyway LOL I cannot separate Kenren/Tenpou, Aziraphale/Crowley and Vash/Wolfwood, they all fell into my lap around the same time in the early 2000s and they all changed my brain chemistry. Even if I never consume a piece of media about them again, they'll live in my head, rent free, for all time. Modern day shout outs, though, to: Eivor/Vili (got me back into writing) Ubba/Vili (kept me writing) and Nanami/Gojo (currently destroying me one molecule at a time).
What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will? As I said, that crossover up there, that would be awesome but it's probably a pipe dream. I do not want to mention any current WIP of the last couple years because I don't want to jinx anything.
What are your writing strengths? I think I write dialogue and banter well, I get a lot of complements on that and I tend to agree. I think I also nail it on longing and loss just from rl experience lol
What are your writing weaknesses? Not being able to finish but a fraction of what I start. And also sometimes I am just not able to convey things how I really wanted them to be.
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I know some people get uppity about sprinkling in foreign language in fic dialogue, but, like, there's good ways and bad ways to do it, and sometimes the original language word has no good equivalent in other languages.
First fandom you wrote for? Saiyuki
Favourite fic you've ever written? Hmmm, well, for better or worse Water of Life is my baby and I love it. lol I have some WIPS though, that I am dying to finish and they might eclipse that love.
Tags with zero pressure to @aeide, @madnessmadness, @softest-punk, @myriath, @akashadarkblade
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