#anyway here is some nonsense

[impishtubist]

Prompt: Three times Sirius almost murdered someone in public over his fame and one time he tried to use his fame to his advantage (and failed) - bonus points if he was trying to bone someone😬

So, confession time: I actually started writing this prompt when you first gave it to me, without the boning part, so now I feel weird that the "failed" portion of the ficlet involves a child and does not involve boning 🤣

That being said, I think that someone *cough cough* could write a 5 + 1 ficlet about Sirius trying to get laid, and he fails 5 times because no one is impressed with his fame, and succeeds once because, idk, Kingsley is more famous than he is. ANYWAY. Here is your fic. It's very dumb and unedited. Enjoy.

---

“Mr. Black!”

“Lord Black!”

Shit. Sirius shoves his list into his pocket and pops the collar of his coat in an effort to shield most of his face from the cameras. He’d purposely come to Diagon at ass-o’clock on a Sunday, hoping to get his shopping out of the way before the crowds arrived. He’d managed to get gifts for everyone on his list, too, except for Harry.

Harry is the one he always has the hardest time shopping for, because the gifts have to be perfect. He accepts nothing less for his son. 

And now the paparazzi have spotted him, which means that he has to put off shopping for Harry until another day. He briefly contemplates setting the street (and the reporters) on fire as a distraction, but that would only draw more attention.

Instead, he ducks down an alley and Apparates home.

---

Harry glances over his shoulder, and quickly pales. “Uh, Sirius…”

“Don’t tell me,” Sirius sighs.

“Yeah.”

“We’ve in the fucking Maldives.” 

“They have reporters in the Maldives.”

Sirius glares at him, and Harry gives him an innocent smile. “They’re here for you, too, Potter.”

“I didn’t get voted Sexiest Wizard Alive by Witch Weekly this year. They’re here for you.” 

Sirius twirls his wand between his fingers, eyeing the approaching reporters warily. “Do you think I can transform them all into rabbits?”

“I don’t think Remus will bail you out of jail again. Aunt Andy said she wouldn’t, either.”

“Kingsley might.”

“Yeah, because he’s asked you to marry him three times and you keep turning him down. He’d do anything for you.”

“He would, wouldn’t he?”

Harry’s nose wrinkles. “Gross, Sirius.”

Sirius winks. “It’s the Black charm, Harry.”

“Yeah, well, can the Black charm get us out of here unnoticed and without any murder? I want some lunch.” 

---

Sirius steps into Remus’s office, and the whole room falls silent, sixteen pairs of eyes staring at him in astonishment.

“Er,” he says eloquently, “hello.”

Pandemonium breaks out after that, students clamoring for his autograph and his photograph and wanting to shake his hand. If he’d known that Remus held office hours at six o’clock on a Thursday of all days, he wouldn’t have stopped by to visit his friend after the Board of Governors meeting let out. 

“I’m going to kill you,” he mutters under his breath at one point, while three awestruck first-years try to get his attention. 

“No, you won’t,” Remus says cheerfully. “You need your best man intact for the wedding.”

---

“Mummy, I can’t see!” 

“Shh, darling.”

“But I can’t. He’s too tall.”

“Here, Melinda, why don’t you sit on Mama’s lap? That will help you be taller, won’t it?”

There’s some shuffling, and then a huff. “I still can’t see.”

Sirius can’t help it. Curious, he twists around in his seat to find a young girl glaring at him. She can’t be older than Lily Luna, and she’s dressed in a frilly princess dress for the show. Her mothers gape at him.

“Oh!” the one holding Melinda exclaims. “Oh, Lord Black, I am so sorry--”

“It’s quite alright,” he says, giving Melinda the patented and dazzling Black smile. She remains unmoved. “I am very tall, aren’t I?”

“I wanna see the dancing,” Melinda pouts.

“Why don’t we switch?” Kingsley suggests, and he swaps seats with Sirius. 

“You’re too tall, too,” Melinda informs him. “Mummy, can I sit on your shoulders?”

“No, baby, I don’t think the theater would like that very much.”

“But how am I supposed to see Clara?” Melinda demands. “And the dancing?” 

“We’ll switch seats with you,” Sirius says, and both of Melinda’s mothers look mortified.

“Oh, no, Lord Black--”

“We couldn’t possibly--”

“I insist,” he says, getting up, and Kingsley follows him. The two women get up after a moment’s hesitation and take their seats, Melinda on one lap. “Is that better, my lady?”

“Yes,” Melinda says, not sparing him a glance. 

“Melinda,” one of her mothers scolds. “What do we say?”

Melinda turns around to look at Sirius. “What’s your name?”

“Sirius.”

Her nose wrinkles. “That’s a funny name.”

“Melinda!”

“Thank you, Sirius,” Melinda says primly, and then she turns around again, Sirius utterly forgotten.

Her mothers are bright red. Sirius leans forward.

“My granddaughter is five,” he says to them. “I've never been so humbled in my life.”

[booplesnotts-art]

Everyone’s favourite resident mother

Hated my last Alcina drawing so finally did a better one😌

This time in colour too gasp she’s on a role

[ruporas]

feast (ID in alt)

[sleepinglionhearts]

Scans from one of my old Midori sketchbooks in which I thought it would be fun to do a comic about a bookstore :)

[read in columns, from left to right]

[cherrirui-official]

New hyha looks weird, why is Salty bald??

@saltydkart-reblogs

[r0semultiverse]

The whole Lila & Five season 4 situation can be summarized by this tumblr post

[hanzajesthanza]

(Adam Dudaczyk) The fact that vampires drink blood to get that *meaningful hand-neck gesture* - you made that up? (Andrzej Sapkowski) Yes, I didn't model myself on anyone here, I don't know anyone who wrote before me about the fact that vampires drink blood not to satisfy their hunger, but to satisfy their thirst for… entertainment. Texts: the guys sent me to get blood, I was flying drunk… The fun was great.

as i reread this i couldn't stop thinking of this meme

[graveyardrabbit]

oh package of deer teeth I just got in the mail, you are the only part of this day that’s gone right

[indecisive-dizzy]

Alright the Gravity Falls brain rot is kicking in (aka I watched a 4hr video overanalyzing ATOTS <3 iykyk)

So have a loosely thought out concept of a hypothetical Welcome Home x Gravity Falls au with my "Hear me out!"s This is a long one, you've been warned <3

Wally - Dipper

Sally - Mabel

Julie - Stanley

Frank - Stanford

Eddie - Soos

Barnaby - Wendy

Poppy - Abuelita

Howdy - Gideon

Home - Bill???

Ok hear me out! (under the cut) Please ignore typos <3

Very quick clarification! For this au everyone is at least in their teens and I'm gonna add their ages as I elaborate. Ok? Ok!

Gonna Start with Poppy and Eddie. In this hypothetical au Poppy is Not Eddie's grandmother. Originally I thought of assigning Poppy the role of Lazy Susan but I wanted her to have a closer connection to the rest of the cast. And Abuelita fit the role well enough for me! She's just a sweet homebody who wants to knit and bake in peace. Eddie tells her all about work and Wally and Sally visit. <3

So Poppy and Eddie live together as Roommates/Family. Poppy took Eddie in as a teen (16ish) when she was in her early 20s (22-23?) He views her as a big sister. And she views him as a little brother. Anxiety siblings <3 (yes I hc Eddie has anxiety) Eddie started working for the shack soon after being taken under Poppy's wing. He's a tad forgetful and clumsy but is a very reliable handy man and a good friend! He's got a big heart and worries about Julie sometimes.

Currently, as in the time the au takes place, Eddie is 24 and Poppy is 30-31.

Julie and Frank would in fact make a Fantastic Mabel and Dipper. Tbh I think I've seen the comparison before. Which is exactly why I'm not doing it! They're not twins here but they are childhood friends and very close in age, Frank being slightly older. Currently, Julie is 57(?) and Frank is 58(?). (Ages aren't confirmed, all I know is I want them to be A Bit younger than the Stans. Currently this would put them in their late 20s at the time of the portal incident)

I feel like people sometimes forget that Frank is not against resorting to violence lol. Which is great for post portal Ford (and maybe Paranoia era Ford. bbg was not afraid to use that crossbow.) And Julie is a girl bossing business woman! She's scamming people selling breen to the tourists! Whatever that is! Tbh Big inspo for this decision is Relativity Falls, like I said these two make for great mystery twins.

So! Wally (15) as a teenage Dipper! It's just Wally but his curiosity is bumped to 100. Still the same lil guy but he's got a hyperfixation on the supernatural and cryptids. Maybe he hasn't quite figured out his style yet, maybe he's a bit more awkward, I dunno.

He kinda didn't want to spend his summer here but ends up enjoying himself as he makes friends and gets to over indulge his curiosity.

Sally (15) is Wally's adopted sister! By sheer coincidence they have the same birthday but Sally always points out that she's older because she was "born at sunrise!" She's very adventurous and is often the one leading their escapades. I imagine she meets this aus equivalent of Candy and Grenda at the local theater. Very much wants to be her own person, separating herself from the Adopted Twins thing. Not in a bad way! She loves Wally very much but wants people to see her as Sally! Not just "Wally's Sister."

Barnaby (22) is very laid back and so is Wendy. Yeah I don't actually have a lot to say? Um. He does the bare minimum work but is a good friend to Julie. He's real observant and can tell she's not always as bubbly as she seems But she's also his boss so he doesn't pry. Instead just offering a distraction or a rare bit of advice..

Oh! There's a parallel with him and Wally and Wendy and Dipper. Except Wally just wants to be friends with Barnaby but doesn't quite know how to communicate that. Maybe he just kinda follows him around the shack hoping to figure out what to say?

Thinking their relationship is literally the recent quote from Clown's Q&A: "Barnaby meeting Wally felt like business as usual, and Wally meeting Barnaby felt like meeting the whole world." yeah that's it. Sums it up Perfectly <3 Wally thinks Barnaby is really cool and friendly. And he wants a friend who treats him like he's mature. Like he's 15, not 5. And Barnaby does that right out the gate. Calls him kid but obviously doesn't treat him like a small child.

Ahem. Capitalism. Howdy's (21) a filthy capitalist and wants the shack for Profit. I don't think he'd resort to literal breaking and entering to get the deed? Can't make Profit from jail if he gets caught. But he's definitely trying to buy the property off of Julie. Maybe we stray further from Gravity Falls canon and say he gets an early redemption bc I'm a sucker for this goof. It would be sometime after taking the shack (and losing it.) Oh but he does summon the Evil. Can't break the law if the law doesn't account for Interdimensional Demons!

On that note, Yes Howdy could be Stanley. But again. That's the easy way out! Also in my brain that would make,, idk Barnaby? Ford. And I couldn't do that.

Ok final (wh) character. Home. So I'm on the side of Home Isn't Evil/The Antagonist. He's just a guy (house)! A sassy fella! But someone's gotta be the Eldritch Horror and Unfortunately, Home,,, well he's a lil quirky!

But idk How to incorporate Home. They speak in onomatopoeias! They're a house! Is Home now a Vague 2D House Shaped Demon? Do the have Limbs? Wear a top hat? Do they talk now? Home speaking words feels cursed. But I genuinely don't what else to do? Maybe we suspend our disbelief and they still talk through banging shutters. Everyone just understands them bc Cartoon logic pffff maybe they have subtitles projected into your brain that only you can see idk lol.

So obviously there's Way more GF characters than there are WH characters. insert characters [(y/n)] aren't my thing for aus so that's a no go for me personally. I imagine the town is filled with characters we've heard of outside the neighbors (Ma Beagle of course lives in town.) Maybe some of Howdy's family is here who knows. And the rest would be randos or ocs I guess! Tho I don't believe Julie's siblings are in town.

Anywho this is all hypothetical and I made it up and retyped things as I went along. I wanted to ramble some nonsense so I did! If you read it, Awesome! You sure did that!

[3416]

just need to give a shoutout to all the people who interact w me or the things i make on here for the love and good vibes. twitter's been pissing me off the past couple days and i just think it reaffirms i'll never really leave tumblr bc the fandom culture here is just so much.. more lol

[novelconcepts]

There are a lot of Worst Things about depression. Everybody's got a different Worst Thing. Hell, I can't always decide on what my personal Worst Thing is. Sometimes it's the numb despair. Sometimes, it's the dumb animal panic. Most of the time, though, it's that there isn't enough room inside of me.

What I mean is: I care about too many things. I think that's pretty standard these days for a lot of people. Empathy stretched fine as gossamer. We see so much suffering each day. We see so much more than any one person was meant to. So you wind up caring, because caring is what a person is wired to do, what makes life worth living. You care about people you know. You care about people you've never met. You care about situations in countries you haven't set foot in. You care about the political climate of your own hometown. You care about your own dreams. You care about your best friend's bad luck. You care about your pets' health. You care about when the next book in your favorite series will come out. You care, and you care, and you care, because you're wired to care about it all. It's exhausting sometimes, but it's life. Sometimes the best part of life.

With depression, the caring space gets to feeling too full. Has packed tight, all those elements butting into one another until they lose meaning, the darkness threading into the gaps. There just isn't enough room inside of me for all the fear and the despair and the weird empty anger, much less the stuff that actually matters. So I start shorting out. Because, see, depression makes it so I can't care; don't see a point in even trying. And the real me, the part of me that isn't being cannibalized by the demons, doesn't know how to do anything else. So the middle ground becomes: shrink the caring space. Shrink it down bit by bit. All systems are running at once, and we're getting low on juice, so the natural thing is to start shutting off lights. Start jettisoning the extraneous to make room.

Except it's depression at the wheel, not common sense, so it's not just the extra flair getting turned off. Not the despair and the mind-numbing terror and the reckless urge to pick fights. The stuff that winds up getting tossed is stuff I need. Stuff that keeps me going. It's all being shut down at once, no rhyme or reason, until I suddenly can't care about the things that are me. Intrinsic, fabric-level stuff. I can't care about creating. About making art. About telling stories. I can't care about other people telling stories. I can't care about my friends the way I'm supposed to. I can't care about their travel or their kids or their wins. I can't care about making food for myself. I can't care about brushing my teeth. I'm shutting down to component parts, but I didn't get to pick which components are still running full-power, so I wind up with just a handful of randomly blinking lights. Suddenly, I care very much about my fear of the future, my financial insecurity, how fast I can run a 5K, a single television show--and just about nothing else.

It isn't healthy. It's sure as fuck not sustainable. And I know from experience that the rest of the system will come back online eventually. I'll find myself telling another story in a week or a month. I'll find myself sketching something out of nowhere. I'll find myself able to grieve a lost loved one and treasure my new nephew. It'll all come back, in time. But it's the in-between bit that grates. The bit where I'm in the shuttle with my knees tucked against my chest, sucking oxygen through a straw, trying to conserve whatever is still running. The bit where I resent the people in my life who aren't running on fumes like I am. Where I'm furious that they can care, that they can move freely, that they aren't pacing a minuscule cage like I am. It's a loss, all the months and years I've spent on life support. It's a fucking waste.

That's where I am right now. Life support. Little things get in, from time to time. I can suddenly inhale a book series start to finish. I can suddenly coax myself into eating the same thing for lunch for three weeks straight. Those are extra lights on the dash, and I have to treasure them. Because there isn't really room, so any little thing that I find space for is a gift. And everything else--talking. planning. trusting. creating. intake.--has to stay dark for a little while longer.

It'll come back on. I have to believe it'll come back on.

In the meantime, I hunker in my shuttle, and I wait.

[coquelicoq]

[bolts upright in the shower] i need to reorganize my bookshelves

[magentagalaxies]

creation of adam but it's this photo of me handing scott the martini before his buddy cole set in the KITH toronto show

[necrotic-nephilim]

-debby ryans at you- how are you feeling about that thunderbolts* trailer, snookums. your old blog is trying to crawl from its grave.

you are an unhinged rat for sending me this ask i hope you know <3 you already knew that but i'm telling you anyway bc you're a rat bc now i have to explain myself-

this is from @eebuckley my partner <3 i've alluded to it in the tags of this blog but i used to be a semi-popular MCU blogger from like 2018 to 2020. (semi-popular for the ship i wrote, anyway) and since like, probably Infinity War/Endgame i have been slowly more and more disillusioned by the MCU ranging from only passively being interested in projects to outright despising them if i saw them. which sort of sucks, given how much i loved the MCU at it's height. i was like. aggressively into it. like a "i had asthma attacks watching trailers bc i got so excited" level of into it. maybe cringey in hindsight, honestly but yk. whatever brings you joy, ig.

and anyway- my partner witnessed my very real and normal reaction to the Thunderbolts* trailer and now i'm *mad* bc i'm actually excited about it. it made me feel about the MCU a way i haven't felt in years, especially after a lot of announcements that rlly pissed me off.

cannot believe it looks like we might actually get a comics-accurate Yelena and a comics-accurate Bucky. i'm such a sucker for Bucky Barnes, he's one of the only Marvel characters i actually read Marve comics for and i'm forever bitter how badly he got screwed over. if that movie is good i'm going to end up writing fanfiction. probably crossover fanfiction bc over my dead body will i write just plain MCU fanfic. and i'm a Jason Todd/Bucky shipper anyway so i could make it work, i think-

anyway TLDR is i'm excited and i'm mad about it and how dare yo expose me for being an MCU fan on THIS blog. you coulda send this ask to my MCU blog that still exists and i have occasionally used. but instead you *exposed* my ass on my refined DC blog as a filthy Marvel fan. i will be divorcing you again. ty gn ily

[mindmxtters]

we're officially in the double digits now, gang! time rly does fly when you're having fun! I don't have a blog event or special graphics cooked up for this since it kind of snuck up on me this year if u can believe it, but I hope my gratitude for you guys sticking around for so long will suffice! thank u all for enabling me and my deep-seated love for this superhero bunny and her dark and edgy looney tunes spinoff for an entire decade, this community is one that is truly precious to me and I'm so glad I took the plunge all those years ago into the wild and wacky world of tumblr fandom rp 💓

[gyokutoll]

I shouldn’t be typing this up on mobile after my work out but fuck it we ball. Dash talk inspired me to discuss the types of men Hotaru likes and I’m rolling the thoughts around in my head like a marble because I’m not sure if there’s actually a good word, or series of traits for it.

I don’t really believe Hotaru has any aesthetic preferences. Maybe sharper features comes to mind but that’s so? It’s such a non-thing nor something he really thinks about. Because Hotaru is frequently judged for his appearance due to his work, he’s not inclined to judge others by their appearance. Especially not after Sadao. He knows that appearances are deceiving and just because someone looks like what you’d want doesn’t mean that they actually are.

So that’s where I really struggle to verbalize Hotaru’s type. I think his type is rooted somewhere in stability. This isn’t even necessarily meaning mentally stable nor having a full time job or anything like that. Which is even weirder to try and explain. By stability, I mean rooted in something. Whether it be a belief, a conviction, a cause. There has to be something a man needs to anchor himself to. It can be tangible like a career or intangible like an idea or principle, even if morally ambiguous. Hotaru doesn’t see himself as a person worth loving, and this low self esteem and belief that humans are inherently self-serving fuels this flexibility in his type.

Hotaru isn’t above developing feelings for someone who does illegal things which is insane when you consider that Hotaru is just Some Guy. Horaru also doesn’t have the expectation that he’ll be romantically loved in any meaningful way, and because of that, he’s more inclined to fall for someone on the basis of sincerity and earnestness. They don’t need to be morally perfect or even socially acceptable, but if there’s a genuine care there, he’s willing to overlook a lot.

And it begs the question of whether or not this makes him saintly, desperate, or self-loathing. I think the most important component of being a saint is being a martyr, if you understand what I’m getting at. I think it can be all of those things at once.

Hotaru also isn’t closeted or shy about admitting that he’s gay. I’m not going to get into the long winding road of queer history, especially not one pertinent to a culture I myself don’t necessarily belong to. But I will say that there are countless sources which cite hook ups as prevalent in the culture amongst gay men. Hotaru partook in this culture years ago and burnt himself out on it. I bring this up because it makes dating other men very difficult when going to bars because a lot of times it’s to take the edge off. The unfortunate reality is that Hotaru has slept with men with wives and girlfriends and men who didn’t want anything from him except for a night.

Hotaru isn’t inclined to try gay bars again due to that and because the time he did landed him with Sadao. It’s a very complex situation with decades of communal trauma and the limbo of rights and representation in a country like Japan.

Hotaru has no expectation of romance and has a host of intimacy issues that I think makes his type very nebulous. Hotaru is past the age where aesthetic is a concern of his and he’s almost sort of. Post conventional morality. Again, I’m tired from my work out and don’t know how eloquent I am in explaining this. There are a lot of cultural nuances here in the culture of gay men and not only gay men, but Japanese culture that requires at least 12 cited sources and a Japanese sociologist with an emphasis in LGBTQIA+ study lmao. I’m almost half debating if I want to start citing things for these more sociologically-oriented analyses so it doesn’t seem like I’m talking out of my ass.

But it’s all to say that, due to the culture and trauma that Hotaru bears, he does not carry this inherent expectation of acceptance. He is used to being an object of desire due to his work and the fact that he’s still young and beautiful. But he’s tired of being an object of desire and rather wants to be desired and known and accepted in sincerity, which does not lend itself to an aesthetic type or even the conventional classes of person we come to expect in romantic conversations.

I really need to shut up because I’m getting so technical and in the weeds here you’d reasonably think I’m doing circuitry, but Hotaru reads as sex and romance positive ace, which already fundamentally changes his relationship to the idea of romance as opposed to other people not on that spectrum.

It ultimately results in someone who interfaces with romance and potential romantic candidates differently. This isn’t even to say that Hotaru doesn’t want love and is above it, but rather to say that the complexities of his trauma, employment, sexuality, and intimacy crisis beneath capitalism result in a person with a more conceptual type than any solid image that can be constructed.