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supernatural-jackles · 5 years ago

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The Man on the Side of the Road- Part 5

Title: The Man on the Side of the Road - Part 5

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 5,228

Warnings: Angst, Mentions of Suicide, Panic Attack, Mentions of Suicidal thoughts, Tears, Ketch, Fluff

Summary: Driving down the road, going well over the speed limit. You come across a man walking in the opposite direction with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. His head cast down as he walked. Your gut instinct is telling you to check on this man, no matter what your parents told you growing up. Little did you know just how much this would change your life.

The Man on the Side of the Road - Masterlist

Square Filled: Domestic!AU ( @spndeanbingo)

A/N: Part 5! I hope y’all enjoy this part! I’m a bit behind and all asks will be answered tomorrow! This was one of my favourite parts to write so far! As always feedback is greatly appreciated! Happy reading!

“Ketch,” you breathed out. Your cheeks heating up as your nerves sparked through you.

“What are you doing here… with him?” he cocked his eyebrow. His accent sending shivers up your spine. You could feel Dean’s eyes on you, as if he was trying to make sure you were okay. This wasn’t what you wanted to happen. You didn’t want him to ruin the one thing you were excited for. Your friend date with Dean. Ketch was the last person you wanted to see. He never came to places like this. It was too run down for someone with his tastes. Five star restaurants were his thing. Not diners with beer on tap.

“I’m having dinner with my friend,” you said with confidence.

“Can we please go somewhere and talk,” he questioned with pleading eyes.

“No, we can’t. I said what I needed to say, Ketch. We’re done. I have nothing more to say to you that you haven’t already heard.” you stated. You were proud of how confident you sounded, even though you wanted the world to open up and swallow you whole.

He took a seat next to you in the booth, making your eyes go wide. You wanted to leave and go back to the house where you felt safe. “Y/N come on! You don’t have to hide what happened that day. Your mom told me everything. About the relapse. The cold feet. You don’t have to hide it from me,” he started, trying to sneak his arm around you. You shifted away from him.

“No. I didn’t get cold feet and I didn’t relapse. You’re a stupid asshole. You cheated on me! You cheated on me with my best friend, Ketch! The fact that you believe my mother at all is a great indication that this is over with. Not to mention, you stated at my house that she looked better naked. So you know what? Go be with her. She’ll make you happy. You and Jo will make a great couple together. Now let me have dinner in peace.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that I never slept with her? You’re crazy!”

“Dressing room. Our wedding day. I can clearly remember your dick going into her. So tell me again that you didn’t fuck her,” you glared. “I’m not doing this anymore, Ketch. I’m moving on from this and you should do the same. You and whoever! I don’t even care at this point. You can’t undo what you did, and I can’t forgive and forget what both of you did to me. I wish you all the best.”

“Ditched for Dean Winchester,” he scoffed. “Of all people. He’s never going to make you happy.”

“You’re the one who said I was too broken anyways. So really, what are you so worried about?” you stated. “Dean, you wanna take this to go and eat at home?”

“Have fun with my leftovers, Dean. Talk to me when she makes you want to kill yourself, like she did me,” he gave him a weak smile. “Maybe next attempt, you’ll be successful. How does it feel to know that your mom loves me more than she does you, Y/N?”

“Go fuck yourself,” you shouted at him, pushing him out of the booth and onto the floor. The entire restaurant went silent, everyone was staring towards your direction.

Ketch got up, wiping his hands on his pants. He was trying to cover up the embarrassment, but failing quite miserably. “Bitch, you’re damn lucky we’re in public,” he growled, stepping closer to you. Dean stood up instantly. Rounding the table quicker than you expected. He was pissed by the look on his face. His jaw clenched as he glared at Ketch.

“I think it’s time you left,” he said lowly. “Listen to her. If you ever loved her, you’d be respecting her wishes right now. You are making this so much harder than it needs to be. You moved on already. There is nothing left for you here.”

The waitress came over quickly with the take out trays. Dean got his wallet out to pay for the dinner. You felt terrible for ruining what was supposed to be a good night for you and Dean. All he wanted to do was take you out for dinner to make it a better day and this had to happen. Ketch just had to butt his way in.

You were out of there quickly and you figured it was probably for the best. The staff looked like they wanted the three of you out there as fast as possible. Dean carried the food out for the two of you. You’d be lucky if Dean even spoke to you for the rest of the night. It was embarrassing as hell, and he wanted to do one nice thing for you. He was never going to want to go out in public with you again.

The car ride back was a quiet one. You knew Dean wouldn’t be happy with you, and you couldn’t blame him. He had his own things to worry about. This night was supposed to be an out for him too. You were just going to retire back to your room, and stay there for the rest of the night. Dean could enjoy dinner by himself, without any of your drama. He had to step in and stop Ketch. What did that say about you and your relationship with him? Dean didn’t need to be the one helping you through this, not when he had so much else going on. He didn’t need your baggage on top.

He pulled into the driveway, putting the car in park. You took a deep breath, opening the door to get out. Your hands were shaky and your heart was pounding in your chest. You needed to feel safe again. You needed to get out of your own head. You knew you had to. You knew you had to apologize to him. He didn’t deserve to be in the middle of you and Ketch like he was.

You stepped inside first, Dean following behind you. He locked the door behind him, the food from the diner in the other hand. Guilt washed over you every time you looked at it. You didn’t know if you should head straight to your room, or head over to the kitchen to finish dinner. If you could stomach it. Your chest was growing tighter and tighter with each step you took.

“Coming?” Dean asked you, motioning towards the kitchen. You swallowed hard, nodding your head. You knew you weren’t going to be able to keep yourself together for much longer. You could feel everything building up. You were like a fifth grade science project; a volcano waiting to erupt. Dean didn’t need to see you cry two days in a row. He didn’t need to take care of you over and over again.

“Dean-”

“It’s okay, Y/N,” he assured you. “You don’t have to say anything.”

“Okay,” you nodded, taking a deep breath. You blinked rapidly, trying to push the tears back. Dean opened up the packages of food on the counter. You couldn’t understand how he let it go. He should have been mad. “I’m sorry.” Your voice was weak and defeated. It wasn’t nearly what you needed it to be. It was going to completely give you away. You needed to get out of the kitchen.

“Y/N,” he started, throwing one of the fries in his mouth.“You don’t have to apologize.”

“I ruined dinner,” you frowned, your eyes casting down to the ground.

“Wait, that’s what you’re worried about? Sweetheart -”

“I get it if you never want to go out together again, or if you want to just stick to being roommates instead of-” Dean made his way over to you, his hands coming up to your cheeks. Your heart was pounding in your chest. He pressed his forehead to yours, reeling you in closer. You broke. The damn shattered into a million pieces. The volcano erupted. Tears steadily made their way down your cheeks as your lips quivered. Your body was in full panic mode. Gasping for air. Your eyesight going in and out. This wasn’t the time for a panic attack.

“I need you to breathe for me,” he stated. “Just like you did with me. Take a deep breath for me, sweetheart. Count to five with me.” You tried your best to take a breath. Your chest was growing tighter, and you couldn’t remember just how to breathe in. It was the simplest thing in the world and yet, you couldn’t do it. You couldn’t remember how to breathe in. The fact that you couldn’t remember made you freak out more. “Focus on me, sweetheart. I’ve got you. You’re safe with me okay. I just need you to breathe for me.”

“C-can’t,” you gasped.

“I know it’s hard, okay? I know it is. I’m right here. I’m right here with you. Hug me, hold me; do whatever you need to do. Just - you gotta breathe, Y/N,” he told you. You shut your eyes tight, trying to focus on his hands. The way his calloused hands felt against your cheeks. Warmth. They were warm, and big. His forehead on yours was warm. He was there. He was real and he was there. It took every ounce of strength in you to take a breath.

Your lungs filled with air as you shook in his hold. There was absolutely no point in holding back now. He had seen you, and there was no way he would forget it. It was the first time that you could remember that you had someone there to hold you when you needed it the most. He didn’t back away, or run and hide. He didn’t leave the room, or tell you to calm down. He was there, making sure you were okay.

“That’s my girl,” he smiled. “Keep breathing with me. You’re doing great. You’re doing amazing, sweetheart.” His words were so encouraging. More than you ever expected them to be. They stuck in there. Repeating over and over, drowning out the bad. Hearing his soft, sweet voice was enough for you to focus on. Enough to get through to you.

You counted to five in your head, and kept going with that rhythm. It seemed to help you more that he was there with you, watching to make sure you were okay. He never let go or let up. He let you cling to him and take what you needed. You knew then that he wasn’t going anywhere. That he was sticking around. When you knew you could handle moving, you wrapped your arms tightly around Dean’s waist.

“How we doing?” he asked you, releasing your face to hug you back.

“Better,” you sniffled.

“Good,” he smiled. “You’re okay. Nothing’s going to happen to you. Not as long as I’m around.”

“Thank you,” you breathed out.

“You don’t need to thank me,” he told you. “You did the same thing for me when I needed it. I’m just glad I could return the favour.”

“I hate how I let things get to me,” you admitted, wiping away one of your tears.

“I know the feeling,” he nodded. “Ketch is a dick, and we both know it. Don’t let him get to you. You don’t deserve that, and he doesn’t deserve the satisfaction of hurting you.”

“It’s hard not to,” you shook your head.

“I know it is. Quite frankly I thought you were going to get up and punch him in the face,” he chuckled.

“Should’ve,” you let out a dry laugh. “I didn’t mean to do that whole panic attack thing in front of you. I thought I’d be able to hold it in until I got to my room.”

“It’s okay! Really,” he half smiled. “We’re friends. Friends are there for each other. Through good and bad. ‘Sides, you’ve seen me on the worst day of my life and you’re the one who got me through it. You’re kind of my best friend, Y/N. I’ve never had someone like you in my life.”

“Then you’ve had some pretty shitty people in your life.”

“Yeah, not everyone will treat you well. Hell, not even my previous girlfriends have treated me as good as you do. Guys are supposed to be tough. Not showing emotions, and whatnot. People have always expected that from me. It’s nice with you because you don’t expect me to be that way all the time.”

“I’d never expect you to hold back, Dean. My offer is always open if you want to talk about anything,” you reassured him.

“Goes the other way too,” he mentioned. “I know you’ve got this wall up and don’t really share much, but if you ever wanted to. You don’t have to deal with everything on your own.”

“Thanks, Dean,” you nodded. “I really appreciate that. I do have a wall up, I always have. It’s not you.”

“Well, I’m sticking around,” he said softly. “I’ll wait.”

Dean had to heat up the food a little before you sat down and finished it off. You really wished you could have eaten it at the restaurant like you were supposed to, but it was nice to eat in the privacy of your home. You couldn’t help but wonder what thoughts were going through Dean’s mind. You wondered if he thought about you, and what just happened. If he saw you any differently. If he hated Ketch as much as you did. You knew he was doing better than he had been in a while. You didn’t want to change that. You didn’t want to anchor him down.

There was one thing you were certain about. You needed this man in your life. You needed him to be a permanent part of your life. Not just because you wanted him to stick around. Dean wasn’t like most men. He listened when you talked, and made you laugh. He made you smile more than you had in what felt like a long time. He paid attention to you. Even though he was half out of his mind the day you met him, he still remembered the breathing technique you used on him. He used it as a way to help you.

“Got any homework?” he questioned as he threw away the take out containers.

“Nope. Did it all at school,” you stated, resting your head in the palm of your hands.

“Nerd,” he chuckled, turning back to face you. “There’s a new episode of my favourite tv show on at nine. You want to watch it with me?”

“What about pie?” you cocked your head to the side.

“We can make pie tomorrow night,” he winked. “Let’s just take it easy. Relax a little.”

“What’s your favourite tv show?” you questioned.

“Dr Sexy MD,” he answered with a smile playing on his lips.

“Alright, I’m in,” you nodded.

After the two of you cleaned up, you told Dean you were going to shower and get changed into your pyjamas. He said he’d meet you on the couch just before nine. It gave you a good hour to do what you needed to do.

The second you closed your bedroom door, you let out the breath you were holding. You were finally in your own space and you could breathe. Your mind was going a mile a minute, reeling over everything that happened. Dean more specifically.

You didn’t want to overthink it all like you knew you were going to do. Dean was just being kind. He was being the person he was surely raised to be. Dean was a different kind of man compared to Ketch, and you liked who Dean was. You liked the way he was there for you. It was just a lot for you to process without over analyzing everything. And every time you did, you convinced yourself that you were heading down the path to falling for him. That couldn’t happen. A simple crush was acceptable. You could get over that. Everything else was too far. It was crossing a line.

You headed over to the bathroom, and grabbed a fresh towel from under the sink. You knew you needed to shower in order to feel better. Your face still felt like you had cried, and you were still a little shaky. It could have been much worse. You couldn’t believe Ketch would make a comment like that to Dean. The worst part about the whole thing was the fact that you were actually going to marry him. You were actually going to spend the rest of your life with someone that didn’t care when he upset you. Ketch didn’t care when you cried, or when you felt at your lowest. He didn’t care about your suicidal thoughts before, or anything like that. He was rich, and thought everything just fell into place for him. He thought he could get everything he wanted with the snap of his fingers. There was a huge part of you that hated yourself for not seeing it all so clearly when it was happening right before your eyes. It was almost like you were blind. How did no one else see it and tell you?

It was another thing for your mother to feed him some lie. If it was that at all. You knew well enough that your mom loved Ketch as her own. He was everything she wanted you to be. You knew that it was only a matter of time until your mom told you that you were no longer associated with her family. That was okay with you. At the end of the day, you had your dad and he was the only parent you cared about. He was a good person and loved you no matter what the circumstances were. You were never going to live up to your mom’s expectations. You were never going to be who she wanted you to be.

Your shower made you feel a million times better. You felt more relaxed, and a lot of the tension had left your body. It was almost as if some of your negative thoughts had swirled down the drain with your shampoo. You were more than ready to watch whatever Doctor Sexy was. If it was something Dean liked then you were going to give it a shot. He seemed to be excited about it.

You did your usual moisturizing routine before pulling on your comfy pyjama shorts and an oversized shirt. You opted out on putting on a bra. It wasn’t worth the struggle, especially after showering. It wasn’t like Dean was paying attention to the way you looked.

You left your room with five minutes to spare. When you arrived in the living room, Dean was already sitting on the couch. He had a bowl of popcorn made, along with two mugs of tea. You couldn’t help but smile. He paid attention to your routine. You didn’t even have to tell him.

“Let’s do this,” you smiled, taking a seat next to him. This time, you sat a little closer to him. Was it on purpose? You didn’t really know. All you knew was that he didn’t mind. You were best friends, like he said. “Thank you for making me some tea.”

“You’re welcome,” he smiled. “I know you like to have a cup of peppermint before bed.”

“I do,” you nodded. “You trying it too?”

“Yeah, why not right? Could help me sleep tonight,” he shrugged.

“My offer still stands if you have another nightmare.”

“Thank you. They aren’t as bad as they were before. It's once in a while now. Not every night,” he told you.

“It’s only going to get better with time, right?” you reminded him.

“Yeah, I think so.”

The theme song came on and that halted all conversation. You knew how you got with your tv shows, and you wanted to show Dean that same respect. His eyes were glued to the screen, and you couldn’t help but smile. It was cute to see him excited about it. Even if the show was about sex more than anything else. You were intrigued to say the least. It was comical, and even better when Dean gasped, or reacted in anyway to the show. It was actually kind of cute to watch him watch the show.

You sipped away at your tea, and took the odd piece of popcorn. Monday nights were quickly going to become one of your favourite nights of the week. You liked seeing him happy and enjoying himself. You loved just sitting on the couch with him with no expectations of conversation. Just enjoying each other's company. You never had anyone you could do this with. You wouldn’t want to do this with anyone other than Dean now that you had him.

“I actually really enjoyed that episode,” he said as the credits rolled.

“How many seasons are there?” you asked him.

“About three now, I think?” he furrowed his brows.

“I think I gotta watch them too,” you chuckled.

“You liked it?”

“Yeah, it wasn’t bad. If you like it then I’m going to watch it too,” you nodded. “Every Monday at nine?”

“Yeah,” he smiled softly. “I’m glad you want to watch it too.”

“Give us something to look forward to,” you yawned. “I don’t mean to be a downer, but I think I’m going to head to bed. Crying earlier really took a toll on me and I just want to lay in bed.”

“Yeah okay,” he agreed, looking at you with his sad green eyes. “I’m actually kind of tired too. I don’t mind heading to bed now too. Why don’t you head to bed; I’ll lock up.”

“Okay. Thanks Dean,” you said quietly.

Your feet padded against the hardwood floor as you headed back to your room. You didn’t really want the night to end as quickly as it was. You were just exhausted, and needed the comfort of your memory foam mattress. Dean wasn’t going anywhere and it helped you to know that. You brushed your teeth quickly, and went to the bathroom before throwing the comforter back. Your room was cool enough to sleep comfortably.

You lay in your bed, staring up at the ceiling. You had your light on still and you had to wonder if Dean was going to come in and say goodnight, or if he was just going to head back to his room. There was a part of you that hoped he would drop in, just so you knew he was okay before returning to his room. Truth be told, you wished you had the guts to ask him to stay with you for a little while. Just so you weren’t alone with your thoughts. You knew as soon as that light went out, your thoughts were going to get the better of you. You didn’t want to be alone just yet.

“Knock knock,” he called out. Your eyes glanced at the door, seeing Dean’s head poking in. He was going to say goodnight. He slowly made his way over to the one side of your bed, placing a glass of water next to your bed. “You okay?” he asked kindly.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Uh how tired are you?”

“A little tired,” he answered. “Why?”

“I hope this isn’t crossing some friendship line, but can you lay with me for a little while?” you dared to ask him. “I just - I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“You want me to stay with you tonight?” he inquired, giving you a small half smile.

“If you wouldn’t mind. I understand if you aren’t comfortable with it. It’s asking a lot,” you muttered.

“Just let me head to my room to grab my water, and my phone and I’ll be back,” he smiled softly.

“Thank you,” you said weakly.

Dean moved quickly. Before you knew it, he was back in your room, shutting the door behind him. He was clad in a t-shirt and some black boxers, not that you were staring of course. And even if you were, the man looked damn good. You just wanted him to be comfortable.

“It’s okay that I’m sleeping like this right?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “You should know I sleep in the middle of the bed. I know it’s a king, but I figured it’s better that you know that.”

“Your bed, your rules,” he agreed. He threw back the covers, climbing carefully into the bed next to you. You couldn’t believe you actually had the courage to ask him. You felt a lot better having him there with you. It grounded you a lot more. Maybe if he was there, everything would be easier for the both of you. Technically it wasn’t the first time either. You reached over, flicking off the light, the room going dark.

“So I think it’s safe to say we’re besties,” you giggled. “Sleepover.”

“Yeah I think so,” he chuckled. “Gotta say, your bed is comfortable.”

“Memory foam is great,” you shrugged. Your eyes were beginning to adjust to the room. “Thanks for staying with me.”

“‘T’s what friends are for,” he stated. “Good for me too. Maybe the thoughts won’t be as bad with you next to me.”

“Dean,” you breathed out. “What happened between you and your uncle? I’ve been trying not to ask. But you said you had no one when we met and I don’t understand how you guys are talking again.”

“My Uncle Bobby is my uncle because he and my dad were best friends for almost their entire lives. He and my dad grew up together. Hanging out and stuff. I was there when my dad was killed in the car accident. It happened right in front of me. Right in front of the shop and I can’t for the life of me forget it. The sounds; all of it. After that, it was like something in me broke. My dad was the only family I had left. He was my dad. He was the person I looked up to for my entire life. He was the one who was always there for me. He taught me how to drive and how to fix a car. I was in really bad shape after it. I started coming to work drunk for awhile. Then I stopped showing up. It was hard for me to look at the garage without thinking about my dad. It was hard to see a place that had so many memories associated with it. I didn’t know how to deal with it all. I was pissed and I took it out on the one person I had left. Bobby was good to me my whole life. He was the best uncle I could ask for. He gave me a chance. At that point, I didn’t care about anything or anyone around me. There was no bringing me back from where I was. Not unless I got myself out of it on my own terms. A few months went by and Bobby started to get on my case about getting my life together. I couldn’t grieve forever. I didn’t want to move on. I wasn’t ready to and I told Bobby to shove it up his ass. That he didn’t know how I was feeling and he was never going to understand what I felt. He got angry and told me if I kept up at the rate I was going, that I would be dead by twenty five, or in jail because I was a good for nothing drunk. That was the last conversation we had for a long time. I’ve cleaned up a lot since then as you can see. I don’t drink nearly as much and I’ve got control over myself for the most part. Going into the shop that day was hard, but I don’t feel like I did before. It’s nice to be around the place that my dad loved and I think he would have been happy to see me back again. I’m still duct tape and safety pins inside but at least I’m trying. I don’t think Bobby holds any of it against me now that I’m older and have myself together a little more. He welcomed me back with open arms and no questions asked. He doesn’t know that I had plans to kill myself. I think if he did, he would have sent me to therapy or something.”

“You’re doing great, Dean,” you reassured him. “I’m really glad that you are here right now. Do you ever get those thoughts now that you’re here?”

“Since I moved in. The thought of killing myself has come across my mind twice,” he admitted. “It really helps when I’m with you. You’re my reminder of why I’m fighting. I really like living here with you.”

“Kinda want you around, Dean.”

“I’m going to ask you this, and I don’t expect an answer. It’s personal,” he paused. “Do you still have suicidal thoughts?”

“Not as often as I used to,” you breathed out. “It happens more on days like today when the thoughts swirling around in my head convince me that the world would be a better place without me. I think the doctor said they were suicidal ideations.”

“You’ve seen a doctor?” he asked, cocking his eyebrow.

“Yeah. I didn’t have a choice at that point I was in,” you admitted. “I don’t have them as often as I did before. That’s for sure. Usually I can get myself out of the headspace with distractions. Watching a happy movie usually helps. Cartoons especially. I need something else to focus on.”

“I can see why that helps you,” he began. “Everyone is different. I have to say the breathing thing that you did with me was really helpful.”

“It is to some people. I just know that when I have a panic attack, I need human contact to help ground me. Something else to feel instead of the world coming down on me,” you agreed. “I’m just happy you’re here. That you didn’t do it that night like you were planning to. There isn’t a second that goes by that I don’t think about what could have happened to you if I wasn’t driving by. I don’t like thinking about a world without you.”

“At that point, I didn’t think it would have mattered to anyone. But when I lay here with you, I’m thankful that I’m here. I’m glad you drove by that day. I wouldn’t have become best friends with the girl who found me. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for what you did for me that day, and everyday since. I know it probably hasn’t been easy for you.”

“You’re worth it. You might not think so, but I do. Having you here is more than I could ask for,” you said softly.

“I love being here,” he yawned. “It’s great not feeling as alone as I felt before I met you.”

“‘M always going to be here for you, Dean,” you whispered.

“Me too,” he muttered. “Get some sleep, sweetheart. I’ll be here.”

~~~~~~~

Part 6

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alirhi · 3 years ago

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it's back XD

I know no one cares, but I'm enjoying this fic, so I'm gonna keep writing and posting it as long as it keeps bringing me joy.

Title: Winter's Frost Chapter: 11/? Fandom: MCU Rating: R to be on the safe side Pairing: Loki/Bucky Summary: Loki never told anyone the real reason he became so obsessed with Midgard. Much better to let them think he wanted to hurt his brother than draw their attention to the one thing in the universe that makes the God of Mischief truly vulnerable. WARNINGS: not much, just some swearing and a little silliness. Notes: Here is where I offically say "fuck the canon." Just so we're clear. XD

Never before had Loki been so grateful that his brother was an idiot. While Thor returned to Asgard with a powerless double, Loki made his way to New Mexico. He'd thought to slip away to Siberia and go straight for Bucky, but he was too tired and in far too much pain to fight again any time soon. Besides, he'd been away from his sweet baby for nearly a year; he needed to check on Eira before he did anything else.

"You could have at least signed it!"

He smirked, not even lifting his head from his daughter's tiny shoulder and he squeezed her with all his might. "And risk you refusing to care for her?"

Darcy huffed, crossing her arms. "I wouldn't do that. She's an innocent baby. But some warning that she's not human might've been nice before she started teleporting!"

"I figured the fact that she materialized on your doorstep would have prepared you for that."

Though he could see a thousand retorts dancing behind those fierce blue eyes, the fight seemed to drain out of her and she sighed, sinking down into the nearest chair. "Are you okay?"

"Not even a little," he admitted, nuzzling Eira's chubby cheek and smiling as her giggle soothed his frayed nerves. "But I will be." Smile fading, he looked directly at his daughter's unwilling caretaker for the first time since his arrival and murmured, "Thank you, Darcy. Eira's... She's everything to me."

The soft, somewhat reluctant smile Darcy gave him warmed his heart, just a little. "She looks just like her daddy."

"Yes, she does." Loki finally eased his grip on his daughter and let her step back a bit, more so he could look at her sweet, cherubic face than for Eira's comfort. "Hopefully soon she'll get to meet him."

"...What? So she's... she's not your daughter?"

"She is. I'm just not her father." Even exhausted and aching in every inch of his body, he found such immense joy in something as simple as a human's hilariously baffled face. "I'm her mother."

Darcy stared at him for a moment in silence, and then stood abruptly. "I need a drink. You want a drink? I think we need... just... all of the drinks."

Reminded of Stark, he chuckled and nodded. "That would be lovely, Darcy, thank you."

Once they each had a frosty glass of vodka in hand, Darcy invited Loki to join her in the living room and they settled side-by-side on the couch, with little Eira curled up in her mother's lap. As she turned on the TV and began channel-surfing, Darcy stumbled across a news report on what had just happened in New York. Loki flinched as his own face flashed by on the screen. Setting the remote down, she closed her eyes, sucked in a deep breath, held it, and let it out in a frustrated whoosh. "Please tell me there's some sort of explanation."

"There is." He didn't offer one; he waited for her to look at him, met her eyes, and then glanced down at the top of the fluffy black head he'd been absently stroking. Catching Darcy's eye again, he waited.

It didn't take long. She was sharp, for a human, and she winced as the dots connected. "Who?"

"It doesn't matter. He won't come after her now." Even as the words tumbled out of his mouth, he realized with a sinking feeling that he might. Thanos hadn't gotten what he wanted out of this insanity. The Avengers had the Tesseract and the Glowstick of Destiny – even in such stressful times, that moniker made him smile. The smile didn't last long as he realized that his double had likely already dissipated and now Thor, and soon Odin and then the Avengers, would know that Loki was still free. "...Fuck."

"Really? Language like that, in front of a little kid?"

"It was appropriate for the moment." With a wince, he eased himself back against the back of the couch and dropped a hand over his eyes. "He wouldn't have come after her, if that absurd errand he'd sent me on had been successful. It had no chance, of course, but still... Darcy, I may need you to watch over Eira a little longer." Something twinged painfully, making him hiss, and he grudgingly added, "And me."

"Nope. No way in-" She stopped, glanced at Eira, and growled, "heck. No. She can stay as long as is needed, but you're a walking bulls-eye and you need to go."

"Darling, I'm rather incapacitated at the moment."

"You shouldda thought of that before you blew up New York!"

"It's not my fault 'Earth's mightiest heroes' couldn't get themselves motivated fast enough! That portal never should have had time to open!"

She blinked and inched back, looking stunned. "You lost on purpose?"

"More or less." Great, now something else was locking up painfully. Loki cringed, shifting position to try to loosen it up, only to have the bruises across his back press too firmly against the couch. "Damn it!"

Darcy bit her lip, lovely blue eyes scanning him frantically. "You really got your ass kicked, didn't you?"

"Yes," he snapped, closing his eyes again. "Thank you for pointing that out. It's very helpful. If the beast – what do they call it? The Hulk – if he'd slammed you repeatedly into a concrete floor hard enough to make craters in it, you'd be paste. I think I'm allowed to nurse a few bruises without judgement."

Mercifully, she didn't comment on his little rant. All she did say was, "What's your name, anyway?"

That was the moment he remembered that they'd never actually met. She'd heard of him, and he'd seen her when watching his brother, but she didn't know who he was. With a soft chuckle that his aching ribs turned into a low groan, he grumbled, "Loki."

The throw pillow that hit his face a second later startled him more than he'd ever care to admit.

"So, what? Was my town just a practice run for New York?!"

"No, it just happened to be where my adoptive brother was when I was trying to kill him." The pillow hit him again, and he snatched it from her. "Stop that!"

"Does your world have some equivalent to Child Protective Services?" she snapped, glaring at him. "Because that little girl deserves better than to be raised around that much violence!"

"Eira had never seen violence until the mad Titan showed up to torture me," Loki growled, hastily covering his daughter's ears so as not to traumatize her any further. The thought occurred to him to send her off to play, but he couldn't bear letting her out of his sight for even a second. Besides, she was such a curious child, she'd likely just eavesdrop, anyway. "I am not proud of how things turned out, but I've never done anything without a purpose – usually the same purpose that's been driving me for decades – and since she was born, all my daughter has ever seen me do is love and protect her."

"What purpose?"

He almost didn't answer, but it occurred to him that as long as he held Darcy's attention, she wouldn't kick him out. At least, that was what he told himself was the reason he was suddenly being so candid with a relative stranger; the truth was, no one but Bucky had ever cared enough to ask why he did the things he did, much less listen to the answer. Grateful for the connection to another person, though he'd never admit it, he murmured, "Love."

While Darcy stared at him in awe, he hugged Eira tight and told the entire tale of his star-crossed love with a young human soldier. By the time he got to Eira's conception, he was fighting back tears, and both Eira and Darcy were hugging him tight. The pressure on his bruises hurt like hell, but he didn't care. The rarity of someone giving a damn about him was too beautiful to let anything else ruin this moment.

_____________________________________________________

Next Masterlist

#fanfiction #mcu #avengers #captain america #the first avenger #thor 2011 #loki #bucky barnes #m/m #loki/bucky #tom hiddleston #sebastian stan #kat dennings #winter's frost

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sukirichi · 4 years ago

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read the new chapters and aAAACKKKKK BESTIE???

y/n - ‘I was born to make everyone’s life a living hell’ maam this LINE?! JAW DROPPED, TIME STOPPED being insecure all her life and wanting to live up to the expectations to her dad just to have that sliver of attention from him, that sentence gives us a glimpse on how little she felt despite being accomplished, rather successful actually because she always cleans her boss’ mess have a lot of baggage to unpack. and when the secret was confirmed, her anger rejects all of the entity that ties with her past because both her parents deprived her for the things she was supposed to have– becoming greedy to fulfill those. then eventually, somehow, going back to her roots aka being humble after having the talk with her dad. As most of her insecurity started because of him and how she had to be the bigger person for his other family, clearing out the misunderstanding between them brought a sense of peace while she’s settling in the restless turn of events.

and with our main man gojo, this guy, it is not wise to- 😤😤 how can you say you’re engaged after doing the body tango huh? esp when you said you want y/n to be your wife? oh gee and the revelation of his past relationship with mia and how he sees her in y/n is so fucked up. can’t help but think that satoru wanting to marry and be this lovey-dovey with y/n is just him reliving the moments that mia never gave him in the past. and y/n accepting that their current relationship is based on how they’re filling up the cracks in their needs and settling for the sake of familiarity. imagine how deep in love our girl is to keep satoru in her life 💔 im still in it for the second lead agenda

needless to say, everyone here needs a therapy so they can get their shit straight together 🤧🤧 (ノ•̀ o •́ )ノ ~ ┻━┻

BUT i know you mentioned this many times but laywer! naoya all poised and in his best behavior while helping y/n in her new situation has my heart go💕💕 winning lots of cases and is known in his field, he proved that he is both beauty and brains. and the pen spin??? man be pulling those fast spins either to distract or impress the person he is talking to flashing those perfect white pearls wtf now i can’t get that out of my head naoya brain rot 🥵🥵 also celebrity chef! sukuna in charge of all those delicious, exquisite cuisines? imma make myself broke just to taste his masterpiece🥲 ooh but how about him being a michelin star chef and owning a michelin-starred resto?! no doubt, left and right you see this man appearing on some high food magazine on the cover 😊😊 oh oh i also saw that supermodel! choso?? also his face is plastered on magazines AND luxurious advertisements ex. shibuya crossing! where most people be drenched in his glorious presence yea weird shibuya arc ref pls kill me and everyone talks how handsome and intimidating he is while he just have a rbf and only the closest people in his life get to see him drop that front 😌😌

with that in mind, imagine supermodel! choso being a godfather to the baby of y/n?? he would go soft immediately at the sight of the child and would probably love giving lots of branded clothes it will be good enough for more than a year ☺️🥲😭

oh and there is this one scene in chp7 that reminded me of the recent korean movie i watched i dont wanna say it in case you wanna check it out its called sweet and sour and oh god idk why but watching it, mind keeps on prompting your fics 😬😬 maybe bcos i some of your fic always had med related topics and the main actress role there is a nurse. i remember that you’re on your clinic training so maybe thats why 😳oohh pls don’t forget to take breaks and be safe heart and oh ur a psych major too? oh wow hi ig in relation to one actress in the sweet and sour fic, she was also in a kdrama the heirs- which was popular at the time with it being packed with some solid household actors and actresses. sky castle tho, ig it relates to the theme of reckless more because its mostly how parents from the upper class will mindlessly destroy someone’s life to attain their materialistic desires 🤧🙂

this fic, easily in my top 3 ‘heart belongs to who it dictates’ so many twists, so much drama and ANGST! YES BESTIE GIMME THOSE ANGST 🥲😌

i hope you’re doing well nowadays :’)) we need to find gege the best chiropractor to take care of his back, so good that it’ll make naoya respawn to life 🙂 suki i don’t think i’ll get tired of saying how much i love your work that it feels illegal im reading it for free 💔. i don’t really have much to offer, but im wishing you good health and success in your life :’)) aah i’ve mentioned this already but take care always 💕💖😊🥰

- 🍳

read the new chapters and aAAACKKKKK BESTIE???

needless to say, everyone here needs a therapy so they can get their shit straight together 🤧🤧 (ノ•̀ o •́ )ノ ~ ┻━┻

this fic, easily in my top 3 ‘heart belongs to who it dictates’ so many twists, so much drama and ANGST! YES BESTIE GIMME THOSE ANGST 🥲😌

- 🍳

y/n becomes a real baddie when she’s pissed off 😫

hmm y/n wasn’t really working hard for her dad’s attention, it was more like she felt so left out and unwanted (she feels unwanted wherever she goes) that she just decided to pack up and support them from afar bcos to her, she’s so alienated in her dad’s family that she felt like she had to work hard to earn a spot in their table. she knows she’s the outsider but she wants to feel like she can be part of them, that she is also a child deserving of love and care, but becos her stepmom focused more on her actual kids and her own dad was too busy with his new family now, it made y/n feel that she had to do something to be worthy of that.

that’s why most of the money she made working in tokyo was still wired to her family; she put her brothers in school and supported them, all because she hoped it would make them accept her more. now, things are different because she finally found her biological family, but even if valeria and co. still don’t want her, y/n is now more focusing on building something that’s truly hers that no one can take away. yes yes, she did become greedy, but more for power than of acceptance. she got to a point she doesn’t care as much vying for her parents’ approval and now thinks her luxury gives her comfort; only because at least she has that much. like she said in the latest chapter, happiness was not what she needed, it was stability and money - all things she lacked before.

and yea she did go back to her roots! all of her issues started with her dad anyway but that part is slowly patching up 🩹💔 oooh actually your theory is right bestie 🧐 gojo found y/n interesting bcos she reminded him of mia, so the more she pushed him away, the more he’s like wait, i’ve been here before, let’s not repeat past mistakes but i can do better now. on the part where gojo talked to mia while she was asleep, notice how he said he’s given a second chance to do better now, all because he couldn’t do them with mia but he could with y/n.

ohhh actually y/n was the one who established that ‘fulfilling mutual need and settling for familiarity instead of being lonely’ type of relationship. gojo avoided her for weeks and he’s pretty settled in keeping his distance, but she was the one who sought him out. deep down, y/n is afraid if she doesn’t at least use him as an anchor to her more humble roots, then she might spiral out of control and end up like valeria, thus using him as a ‘distraction’ but in reality, she needs his comfort to be grounded.

SECOND LEAD AGENDA OMG LETS GOOO 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️ geto the fine fine option.

NO BESTIE MOMENT U MENTIONED LAWYER NAOYA I JUST KNEW I WAS GONNA SCREAM. okay but lawyer! naoya is so fine, i love his character so much bcos he’s a pure bean. originally, i was gonna make him an antagonist but i found he had more potential as a good, supportive character. HIS PEN SPIN HELPPP WHY COULDN’T HE JUST BEEN OUR BABY DADDY 😫 he pulls them fast spins bcos he’s nervous btw HAHAHAHA y/n can be quite intimidating and lawyer! naoya is sometimes too precious.

celebrity chef! sukuna is MEAN! he was pictured after gordon ramsay so lmao. omgggg sukuna being famous not only for his food but also his handsomeness 😳 he gets so cocky over how no one can get in his level while popping a battle of champagne, listening to ‘careless whisper’ while dancing to his reflection in the mirror 😤

also yoo supermodel! choso is THE hot shit 🥵 he’s so famous his schedule is packed for an entire year and a half and those are just for very selected brands and designers! ugh imagine going to work on the subway when you see supermodel! choso with rbf posing sexily and you swoon because he’s so sexy. plot twist that choso doesn’t know how to drive bcos as a kamo family member, they grew up with drivers taking them to and fro, so when his driver got sick and everyone else was busy, supermodel choso takes the subway himself and hides behind a face mask and cap while still wearing extravagant clothes that makes him stand out more. he does not have ‘subtle’ on his book at all.

and yeah people say he’s intimidating but its more his height and build + rbf! in reality, he’s just as soft and sweet as naoya, but both of them go into protective mode when someone they care about is being crapped on. and boy when they DO get into “what did you just say?” mode, better run away 🏃🏻‍♀️ supermodel! choso is also an heir to the kamo empire though not after the business, but he still has enough power to take you down in a second.

meanwhile, lawyer! naoya didn’t become this successful without being so savage yet composed he makes you question your entire existence before he drags you to court. lawyer! naoya is so scarily convincing that he can make you plead guilty even tho you did nothing wrong 💀

aaaah omg supermodel! choso LOVES babies actually! as the eldest child who looked after his brothers bcos the kamo parents are always away for work, being a father figure is so natural to him. i can picture him being the one who cries harder than gojo if the baby is born bcos he’s so excited, then reads poems to the baby before sighing that childbirth is such a beautiful thing 🥺

omg i know sweet n sour, the actresses are one of my faves tho i haven’t watched it yet! oooh they’re a nurse? i didn’t know that 🧐 i actually finish my short training in a week so i’ll be heading on to heavy majoring in psychology! wait bestie are YOU also a psych major 😳💕 oh and i see i see, sky castle *jots that down for future references* reckless actually has lots of significance in terms of the parents’ roles so i’m excited to see that! and aww thank you so much, can’t believe i made it in someone’s top three 🥺💕

HELP AHSKWKW i’m gonna call the best chiropractor in the world and send them gege’s way, i’ll cry a river if that’s what it takes to bring my boo back to life 😭 and noo baby the support already means a lot to me, i’m just happy to indulge in my hobbies and share it wih you all so thank you very much for everything 🥺 please take care of yourself too n have a nice day!! kith MWAH 💕

#asks with naoya's trophy wife #series: reckless #jjk: manga spoilers #anon:🍳

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wolf-555-writer · 5 years ago

Text

Target On My Back Part 8

Sad to say, but this it the last part of the series. Hope you like this one and hope you’ve enjoyed the other parts as well! Thanks for all the comments and reads, really appreciate hearing from you guys :)

And special thanks to @kaddistar . You’re amazing! Thanks for taking the time to read it beforehand and give me feedback to get all the facts straight. And obviously the fucking amazing backstory. Couldn’t have done it without you! :)

Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow x Reader

Summary: Having found her true match, Natasha starts to think that even though her dark past, she does deserve happiness. But then you get shot and she blames herself for it. For the mistake she made and she starts to doubt all over again. Will Natasha be able to defeat the demons in her mind and finally get that happiness she deserves?

Word Count: 5,162

Seated on the roof of the SHIELD facility, the place she goes when she wants to be alone and think. It’s been a couple of months now since the incident. The missions are not the same without you. Natasha leans back, resting on her elbows. She closes her eyes and sighs, letting out a long breath. There was no time to drive to Headquarters. You wouldn’t have made it. Badly wounded, Clint and Natasha carried you into an emergency unit twenty minutes away from the grim warehouse instead. They made it in thirteen. Hanging on by a thread. Immediately put down on a gurney. Rushed towards an operating room by a fair amount of doctors, all dressed in white. Flatline en route... She still recalls what her shaking hands had looked like. Red. Covered in your blood. The round had pierced the vest, and didn’t leave an innocent flesh wound behind. But if you hadn’t jumped in front of her, she wouldn’t be sitting here right now. She has gone over the mistake countless times. It wasn’t supposed to go that way. Why didn’t she anticipate what was coming? Had she been off her game? Did she underestimate him? Being distracted? Distracted by emotions? It doesn’t matter anymore. It was stupid. Stupid of you to jump in front of her. It should’ve been her.

Natasha pushes the thought away. It’s not a good memory. She closes her eyes again and shakes her head as if to clear away the image, making room for a better one. It’s not a special memory, but it’s at least a tiny spark of happiness hidden in all the bad.

“(Y/N), you just missed the turn”. “No I didn’t”, you say, voice full of certainty, driving in a crappy old car with Natalia riding shotgun. Actually, it’s a stolen, crappy old car, driving away from a successful assasination attempt that won’t ever be traced back to the two of you. Not driving too fast, or too slow, calm and relaxed, not drawing any attention at all. As you’ve been trained to do. Flashes of blue lights fly by, going in the other direction fast, accompanied by a wailing sound of sirens. “Where are we going?”, Natalia asks once again. The answer she has to settle for is a mysterious grin on your face, keeping your eyes focused on the road that’s being illuminated by the poorly working headlights. The breaks screech and the vehicle comes to a lingering halt. Leaving the headlights on in the dark of night, you get out of the piece of scrap-iron, but pop your head back in and say, “You coming or what?”. Natalia opens the door on the passenger side, not knowing what you’re up too, yet liking the mystery of it. And being here in the middle of nowhere with none other than you. She walks to the front, leaning against the hood of the car, hearing the calming sound of the gentle waves in the sea. She glances at you when you appear, holding an item in your hand. A glass bottle. Unscrewing the cap, you place yourself next to her, close of course, and smile. “Want some?”. “I thought you’d never ask”, she teases and grabs the vodka bottle, taking a sip, not breaking eye contact with you. “Beautiful view, isn’t it?”, you hint at her, staring into her fiery green eyes for a moment, then averting your gaze to the numerous stars in the sky above.

It was indeed a beautiful view, as well as the stars... she calls to mind when another Agent steps on the roof. Natasha speaks, “I can't. I just… I can't keep doing this”. “I know, it’s been months. Just give it some time”, the person replies. “I don’t know if I can do that…”. “You just have to hold on a little longer, okay? Can you do that?”. A hand squeezes her shoulder softly, trying to give the redhead some comfort.

“And don’t be so dramatic, Nat”, the Agent says, sitting down next to her. “I’m the one that actually took a bullet”. “Just let me have this moment okay”, she jokes, nudging her shoulder lightly against yours. “Some days I can't stand the Agent assigned with me”, she complains. “I'm constantly busy holding their hand or telling them what to do”.

“Ah, I see. That explains the drama”, you say using a sympathetic tone. “I just miss working with you”, Natasha reveals. “Don't go too hard on them, okay. I don't know if you've heard, but it's nearly impossible to keep up with the Agent Romanoff. She's just that good”. Natasha’s eyes glint and she grins at your last remark when a peaceful silence lays over the place for a minute.

“Were you thinking about that memory again?”, you ask her, referring to the moment you entered the rooftop earlier. The redhead stays silent and keeps staring at the clouded, grey horizon. “It’s a miracle I’m still an Agent you know”, she mentions after a couple of seconds, ignoring your question still. Borrowing a SHIELD helicopter - as Natasha phrased it - wasn’t taken up that well by the Director. However, he couldn’t argue with the end result, because she brought one of his best Agents back - like Fury expected she would. “Guess you are irreplaceable after all”, you react with a smile and cup her face with your left hand. “Especially to me”. You stroke her cheek with your thumb softly and stare into her eyes. She grins. “Wow, did you just make that up or was it rehearsed?”. “As a matter of fact, it came to me this very moment. I’m just that smooth”. Natasha rolls her eyes which is roughly translated to ‘how do I put up with this person’ and says, “Only ‘cause you took a bullet for me, otherwise…”. She doesn’t finish her sentence, instead leaned closer, and gives a sweet kiss on your lips which is more than happily accepted by you - not needing to know how that sentence ended anyway.

After your lips parted your expression hardens. “I’m sorry Nat”, you apologize. “Sorry? For what?”. You take her hand in yours and tilt your head down as a sign of failure. It takes a moment for you to speak again. “That… that I don’t remember. That I can’t remember all those memories from our past”. She lifts your chin up and locks eyes, that mesmerizing grin present, knowing exactly what to say. “Well, let’s make some unforgettable ones then”.

Your face gradually lights up and you shuffle to the right with the use of both arms. Closely settling beside Natasha and she rests her head on your shoulder quietly. Mind unwittingly wandering to the event that happened 3 months, 2 weeks and 6 days ago - you know, approximately. How your heart had stopped, and fortunately began beating again - or so you’ve been told. It's all a blurry mess in your mind between Natasha firing her Glock and you waking up, more or less in one piece, in a hospital bed. There’s however one thing you do recall crystal clear. While Natasha took the kill shot, you had jumped in front of her, just in time, due to the other not-succeeded kill shot that would've otherwise torn through your lover's tactical vest. And, even worse, through her heart. She says it was stupid of you, only you would do it again, and again, and again if it means saving her. But seriously, sometimes it feels as if there’s a real angel guarding over the high-risk life you’re living, preventing you from leaving this messed up world.

“How did they find us anyway?”, you wonder out loud, breaking the silence. Natasha looks up and takes a few seconds to gather an answer. “I doubt the KGB was searching for a presumed dead person, so I guess they found me. But, as you know, got you instead”. “Hmm catchy, ‘presumed dead person’”, you repeat ironically. “But I don't know how. Fury suspected that it was one of our own who talked” - the reason why he didn't officiate your retrieval, as to prevent a rescue team from walking into a possible ambush. Besides, the Director knows perfectly well how competent the former spy/assassin is on her own - “But there's still no proof to confirm that. So, or they're covering their tracks pretty damn good, or we just don't know. Doesn't really matter now”, Natasha concludes.

“What do you think would have happened if that KGB officer took me back? To Russia?”. Calling him your ‘dad’ hasn’t even crossed your mind. The bastard didn’t deserve it. He deserved to be shot. A retribution for what he had done to your loving mother who gave her life for you. Natasha responds firmly, “I wouldn't have let that happen”. “I know, but what if?”. “Brainwash you. Use you as their weapon. Again. He might not have been able to kill you, but it sure as hell wouldn't have been a happy family ending”. “Understatement of the year. I got all the family I need here anyways”. You glance at Natasha. She grins again. “You're really on a roll today huh”. With a silly smile you shrug your shoulders and lean closer again, just like Natasha, and receive a warm kiss once more.

“Are you sure you ready?”, Natasha caringly asks, giving her watch a quick peek. “Never been more ready”, you confidently state, waiting for this moment for what seems to be forever. Sitting still is not one of your qualities and you’ve been training day in and day out since you gained permission to get out of that uncomfortable infirmary bed. Preparing yourself for what you do best. Natasha studies you with narrowed eyes for a solid ten seconds first, “Good. That said, we should go. Can't be late for the briefing”, and jumps up. You slowly follow as if having all the time in the world. “Relax, it's fine. Coulson has a soft spot for us”. Your colleague raises her eyebrows at that statement and corrects, “For you, you mean”. “No, not only for me”, you reply defensively. “Yes he does, it's very obvious. You're his favorite”. You scoff and place your hands on your hips. “No I am not. Take it back”. Natasha marches towards the rooftop entrance and sticks with her point of view. “No, why would I? It's true”. “Okay, then I guess Director Fury has a soft spot for you, considering you still have your job”, you counter after having reached the entrance too by taking a sprint. “True, but I just call him Nick”. With a surprising smile you close the door behind you. “You're joking”. “Do I look like I'm joking?”. Natasha has raised one eyebrow with a dead-serious expression present. You wave your hand in a nonchalant way. “Pff, I'll just ask Maria”. “It's Agent Hill”. “You're so gonna regret that”. She laughs and bites her lip after saying, “Oh I can't wait”.

Natasha scans the crowded pavement across the street. A group of tourists following their guide closely while taking pictures of the same-looking shop-windows and of dull, concrete buildings. She doesn’t really see the point, taking a bunch of photos that will be stored away on some drive and never be looked at again. Her eyes move to a person who’s wearing headphones, a black hoodie, same colour backpack and ripped, faded jeans. Nope, too young. An expensive sports car pulls to the curb, and someone in a just-as-expensive suit, glossy golden watch showing off on his wrist, is shouting curse words into his phone while climbing out. Too rich. The SHIELD Agent is waiting patiently and leans back while speaking into her earpiece, “How’s it going?”.

A scope glides over ordinary people who are unaware that they’re being watched and fixes on the image of a woman, seated at a table outside of a cosy café. A cup of coffee in front of her, already empty, and wearing sunglasses to shield her eyes from the bright sun rays. She sits cross legged, a calm appearance, yet properly concealed from the public carrying a firearm and her hair is colored stunningly red. It’s Agent Romanoff.

A voice returns in Natasha’s ear. “Watching your every move”. “I don’t think you’re supposed to be looking at me”, she implies to the other SHIELD Agent present on this operation, who is located in a five-story building across the street, scanning the block from this ideal vantage point. Natasha lowers her sunglasses a bit and peers over the metal brim at an apartment window, precisely in your direction and raises her eyebrows. “Fine, but it’s not my fault that you’re the most beautiful view”, you suggest and move the scope to a group of people who are crossing the street because the walk signal just turned green.

“Focus (Y/N)”, Romanoff says with a professional tone, though a small smile present on her features, and lays eyes on someone exiting an alleyway. Brawny looking, rough beard and ragged coat, two sizes too large, meaning it’s easy to stow a weapon underneath. No, too short. “I can't seem to spot this guy”. “Me neither”, you reply, while Natasha’s eyesight already hit her next possible target. A man who has his hands tucked away deeply in his rain-coat pockets, a hat on, possibly to hide his face, and accidently bumped into a couple holding hands. He seems jumpy and is sweating nervously, not mentally stable at all. Too paranoid. Then onto a blond, short-haired guy, eating an unhealthy burger, watching his surroundings intently - sort of - from inside a dark law-enforcement SUV. Natasha rolls her eyes and sighs. Too obvious.

“And not to mention the guy’s kinda huge”, Barton adds, taking another bite of his cheeseburger as he stares out the half-tinted car window. “Always bringing useful information to the table, Barton”. Natasha knows she shouldn’t take it out on her close friend. But she’s currently well past the point of slight frustration. The intel is correct. It has to be, because she is the one who acquired it. Her sources never disappoint- she makes sure of that. After all, she is still Black Widow. So why hasn’t the guy shown up? The man entered the country two days ago and he’s here for one reason, and one reason only. To kill. So she shouldn’t have to explain why it is of great importance to locate and capture him.

“Wait, hold on”, you return. “Found him”. See, I knew I was right, Natasha thinks, constraining herself from gloating too much. Leave that for, well, never. She doesn’t care about bragging rights or taking the self-centered glory for herself. She only cares about getting the job done. Natasha has her heart rate, breathing and mind under complete control. She’s ready. This is where the actual operation is about to start. She patiently waits for you to disclose the location. But it stays awfully quiet.

You feel a cold, metal barrel pressed against the back of your neck. The comm in your ear is snatched out and crushed inside a beefy fist. Patted-down and disarmed too. Shit. Well at least I have the target… Taking the information you have on the man into heavy consideration, then making a run for it doesn't seem the most thoughtful action right now. Especially if you want to avoid another shot wound to showcase itself on your body. And if the bullet doesn’t kill me then Nat will definitely kill me for getting shot again…

“I still remember you”, a guy with a thick Russian accent speaks. “Yeah, seems to be going around a lot these days”. Word got out a certain KGB-snitch is still alive. And apparently you’ve pissed some people off - made even more enemies - during your previous employment.

With the butt of his gun he hits you in the head and grapples you by the collar of your jacket to brutally spin you around. Knocking you off balance, limiting a powerful counter-attack from your fist, or elbow, or knee, or- well, you get the point. Now away from the window, you face him, finally revealing himself. How in the world did this guy sneak up on you without you noticing? You didn’t hear a single sound. Not a light creak from the wooden floorboards. Or a squeaky hinge from the door. Not even a pair of footsteps. Guess he is a lot smarter than his appearance gives credit for. In addition to his covert approach, he also bypassed three- no, two-and-a-half SHIELD Agents surveilling the block and found your hiding spot too. You have to admit, the guy has some impressive skills, doesn’t mean it hurts less though. Big-guy shoves the SHIELD Agent against the red-brick wall next to the window you were previously monitoring out of and pushes the stiff barrel of the gun in the skin on your jawline. Well, he’s angry all right. You obviously did something to him that you can’t recall anymore. But it might be related to that nasty scar on the left side of his head that was recently covered by a blue baseball cap, and had just fallen off. “Some other friends of yours also gonna drop by?”, you challenge, which he answers with another hurtful strike of his handgun. You spit out some blood and mock, “Maybe they’ll hit harder”.

Big-guy’s expression doesn’t budge and your challenging remark earns you a steel fist to the stomach - Ouch - driving the much-needed air out of your lungs too. “You stupid if you think this ‘funny’ distracting will work. I still kill you for doing this”. With his free hand he points to the left side of his buzz-cut head. “And I work alone, is better that way”. Showing off your teeth that have become red with blood, you start to smile widely. “Well, that's a shame. Cause I don't”.

“Drop the gun”, a familiar voice orders. The man spins around and grabs you in a tight headlock, barking back at the SHIELD Agent, “No, you drop gun!”. Natasha hesitates but holds her aim. “I said drop it!”. His finger is now pressing on the trigger dangerously. “Do it, or I pull!”. She has a clear shot, but knows that if she takes it, he will too. And she is not looking to decorate these apartment walls with the insides of your skull. So, there’s only one option. “Alright, easy, easy”. She throws her palms up as a sign of surrender. “I'll drop it”. Is this her weakness? Would she have done this in any other situation? - meaning before you happened. Would she?

Natasha slowly lowers the gun to place it on the paneled floor and says to the guy, “Guess I forgot to look over my shoulder. It’s very important”. “Kick it away”, he grumbles. With her foot she slides the Glock towards Big-guy, also taking a small step in the process.

“Stay back! Keep hands up”, he shouts, prodding the muzzle of the gun against your temple aggressively. “Easy, easy”, Natasha says with her hands up again, now interlocked behind her head. “And this idiot forgot to look over shoulder”, he mocks with a hateful grimace and yanks on his arm, temporarily closing off your windpipe. “Jeez, thanks, I know I'm not perfect”, you cough-speak with a hoarse voice. Though, you do feel like an idiot. Too easily you got caught in this guy’s intense strong grip where it’s impossible to free yourself from. And even if you could pull it off, then there’s still the high, unavoidable chance of getting shot. Nice odds. Would this have happened if you hadn’t gone into the field today? Is it too fast? Maybe you should’ve taken more time to recover. The almost-fatal shot wound (the second one to be precise) has taken its toll on your body as you haven't reached your old physical level yet, lacking a weighted 10 percent still. The price to pay. Uncertain if you'll ever be able to reach that full 100 some day in the future. One thing is certain however, if this particular situation would’ve happened either way, then Natasha wouldn't have wanted anyone else other than you here. Somebody who thinks like her and understands her without telling or showing what to do. Somebody who can read her mind.

“But it's never too late to look over your shoulder, am I right?”, you state loudly. The humorless Russian has more strength, you’ve experienced that all too well. But what you lack in that department compared to him, you make up for in speed. “Huh?”. Before he can even comprehend what it is that you mean, you rotated your head to the side, as if looking- well, it’s not that hard to fill this in- and lowered your body just about enough to rule out an unfavourable outcome. A razor-sharp blade grazes your neck and thrusts into Big-guy, now sticking out of his chest below his collarbone. When putting her Glock down on the floor, Natasha had cleverly grabbed her knife from the sheath hidden at her ankle and threw it from behind her head, perfectly timed with your movement.

The tough guy screams in pain - remarkably in a high pitch for a dude his size - and tries to grasp the knife handle with his armed-hand, relaxing his other arm slightly. Which is more than enough for you. You grip his wrist and duck down, weaving under his bulky arm and stretch it behind his back in an unnatural position. Another cry of pain comes out and his knees buckle due to a firm kick in the back of them. The skilled knife-thrower, aka your colleague, has also jumped in, closing the distance first, and snapped the weapon that was about to be aimed at her out of his hand with a precise swing of her leg. “Impressive”, you say to the redhead, motioning to the sharp blade with your eyes, because currently you have your hands full.

At last an angry groan escapes Scar-face’s mouth when you safely detain him by cuffing his wrists together, nice and tight. Then your eyes shift to the doorpost, same as Natasha’s, when someone else arrives, severly out of breath. “What? Did I... miss all... the fun?”, Clint huffs, slightly bent over and leaning against the white-painted door frame with his arm. “We'll give you a little credit, okay Barton”, Natasha teases with a wink. “But you need to lay off the cheeseburgers. Probably better”, you advise your friend.

He looks up at you with an angry scowl which changes into concern promptly. “Hold up, you’re bleeding (Y/N)”. “Yeah, that seems to happen when I’m with the two of you”, you answer Barton, handing him the new detainee. “Wait- what exactly went down here?”, Clint asks suspiciously, pointing at the knife handle flaunting on the man’s chest. Natasha and you both shrug your shoulders in innocence. "Ugh, never mind", forcefully encouraging the massive, cuffed Russian towards the exit with an aggravated push, Agent Barton shakes his head as a reaction to his fellow Agents, “Why do I even ask”.

“First day back and you almost manage to get yourself shot again”, Natasha says, bumping your shoulder playfully while walking out of the apartment room side by side. “Yeah and it wasn’t even by you”, you joke. But when you glance at Natasha, you notice that she gives off an agitated impression. “Too soon?”

Holding up a small, squared mirror with a troubled expression, you hiss, “That’s definitely gonna be a scar”. Sorry, Natasha mouths, disinfecting the small wound on your neck that she caused after having cleaned up the dried, dark blood first. “Still, good thing you didn’t throw a Widow’s Bite. That wouldn’t have left a cut, but it would’ve hurted like hell”. “See, I do care about you”, she admits, tilting her head slightly, and putting down the medical supplies, “All done by the way”. “Yeah, love you too”, you say with an ironic tone and stand up from the exam table positioned against the back wall of the small infirmary. Mirror still in hand, you move it closer to your jawline once more and note, “Matching scars it is. Don’t even remember how that other one got there”. I do, Natasha thinks, but doesn’t consider it of great importance to tell. Could be because she was the cause of that one as well. So instead she says, with a quick wink, “Don’t worry, you’re still cute”, which makes your busted lips curve into a smile.

“Hey, you free the rest of the day?”, you ask the redhead, putting on a clean shirt - without a blood stain - and grab your leather jacket. “What are you up to?”, she replies with narrowed eyes. “Come on. It’s a surprise”. She is not a big fan of surprises, yet your mysterious look makes her very curious. So Natasha motions with an open hand to the door and says, “Lead the way”.

Having crossed half of SHIELD HQ by now, you encounter some other agents who are staring at Romanoff and you just a little too long with their judgy eyes. But you don’t care what they think of you or Natasha. Let them judge. About your shared past- which is actually unknown to them, because it's highly classified, strictly known by only a handful of people-, about your work as an agent, about your failures, not having a perfect record anymore. Nah, you don’t care. There are other, more important things to care about. And a special person in particular. Going inside an elevator that only goes to the basement levels of the building, you reach into your pocket. “I know it's probably not the same as that crappy car you told me about-”. Holding up two sets of keys, you look away and try to swallow a big lump that has formed in your throat, but feel a warm hand touching yours. “It's perfect”, Natasha says softly. “They are property of SHIELD, but I figured we could borrow them, all they do there is collecting dust anyway”, you continue. “I won't tell if you won't”, your now co-conspirator offers while you meet her fiery green eyes. You smile. “Deal”.

Entering the huge garage filled with a variety of exclusive vehicles as the excitement is radiating from your bruised face, you propose, “So, you wanna go for a ride then?”, throwing one set of keys her way. Catching them midair, Natasha gives the item in her palm a quick look. “You asked Coulson, didn’t you?”. You glare at her. “...No”. Natasha laughs. “I know when you’re lying”. “Okay, maybe”, you admit and proceed to your prefered means of transportation. The redhead eyes you and voices, “Told you. Totally his favorite”.

Before putting the matte black helmet on Natasha challenges, “It’s about time we finally see who is the fastest”. Also sitting on another motorcycle as you chuckle. “No cheating Romanoff”. “As long as you don’t put a hole in my back tire then we’re okay”, she counters sharply. Key in the ignition, ready to turn but you freeze at her reaction and look at her with narrowed eyes. “Too soon?”, she teases and closes the visor while speeding away with screeching tires. “You’re so gonna regret that”, you whisper and set the chase for Black Widow once more. This time with an entirely different intention. You tighten the grip on the handlebars with both hands and accelerate, leaving a trail of white-grey smoke behind.

Feeling the chilly sea breeze on your skin, you slowly open your eyes and meet an orange-yellow painted sky. After an interesting run both stopped at the side of some remote mountain road to take a break and enjoy the beautiful view - you know which one. Your fellow Agent’s bike is standing next to yours, who might have reached this destination a fraction of a second earlier, but you would deny that of course. Still seated, your arms wrapped around the waist of the woman who’s currently sharing the leather bike-seat with you, not ever thinking about letting her go. She’s leaning back, cuddled up to you closely as she’s in need of some warmth to counter the cooling air around her. Both staring at the horizon where the sun is gradually setting, your chin gently resting on her right shoulder. Natasha rotates her head a bit in your direction. “Was it my fault?”. “Nat- just drop it”. “Please?”. You sigh. “Okay, I was mad at Barton”. “Yes, I noticed. Everyone noticed. My question is, why?”. “I didn’t like him knowing my past”. “So it was my fault?”. “Well… and also that you and him were so close”. You pause and Natasha glances at you, waiting for your next words. “Maybe I was jealous”. She laughs. “Maybe?”. “I was dealing with a lot of emotions at the time, okay. Give me some slack”, you counter and quickly add, “But I have it under control now”. Natasha looks at you, proud, and buries herself into your safe embrace again, resting her head against the side of yours. “Yeah, me too”.

“Told Barton the same after we had some beers. All he did was laugh, like non-stop for ten minutes”, you say with a light grumpy tone. “I totally understand why he laughed his ass off. I mean come on, ‘jealous’?”, Natasha says with a chuckle. “Clint and I are just good friends. You and I are-”. “Complicated?”, you finish with a half-smile. “Much more and will always be, is what I was about to say”, she mentions with a corrective voice. Shit, I almost forgot… You move one arm away from Natasha’s waist and still feel the item in your jacket pocket.

“I know we shouldn’t… but I brought something”. The redhead glances over her shoulder to look at your hand. Natasha’s eyes sparkle and she wants to speak, but is at a loss of words, and quietly takes one. “Cheers”, you whisper in her ear, holding up the bottle filled with vodka next to hers, “To making new memories”. She clings the glass with yours and repeats, “To making new memories”. And both take a chug of the strong alcoholic liquid. You wince a little. Oof, strong stuff. Yet Natasha seems unaffected by the Russian booze and gazes at the horizon again. Staring into the wide, unknown world, where nothing is certain. Except for one thing.

The target on your back will never go away, is what Coulson had said the moment you woke up from the almost fatal shot wound - the second one. It's a part of you. Of your past. Of your current job. You'll have to carry it with you until the end. What the end may ever be. You turn your head slightly to the left, and know it will be alright. No, not till the next time.

But till the end.

Tags: @5aftermidnight, @ohfuckno

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violet-witch-6 · 4 years ago

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Extra scene for “The Third Robin” that got cut for redundancy and pacing, can be read standalone

When one spends an extended amount of time with Batman, one learns to be comfortable with long silences.

Tim knows through second hand anecdotes and one very memorable security tape that Babs sent him in his ‘welcome to the Batfamily’ gift-basket (read: survival kit) that Dick filled the silences with a non-stop stream of chatter, sometimes holding entire conversations without B ever saying a word.

Jason preferred to fill the silences with music. Loud rock n’ roll beats usually, but every once in a while he’d throw in something unexpected. British punk, Taylor Swift, Musicals… Jason was nothing if not spontaneous.

Tim doesn’t use either of these tactics. Frankly, he prefers the silence. It helps him think just as much as it helps Bruce. And anyway, words are extraneous. Who needs small talk when their time would be better utilized thinking over the case separately so that their thought process’ can remain uncontaminated until they pool ideas later in the cave?

Besides, Tim has found that it breeds a specific kind of closeness to just be able to sit in silence with someone without it being awkward. An understanding and vulnerability that comes from immersing yourself in your thoughts in the presence of another person.

And anyway, words have always been Tim’s weapons. He shouldn’t need those with someone he’s close to. Or, that’s the idea anyway.

Tonight is different. Tonight they are not silent because of their mutual understanding and respect for one another’s thoughts, but because Tim is busy willing the Batmobile to drive faster so he can get away from Bruce and into someplace more private.

Once he gets there, he’s not sure what he’ll do. Shut down probably. It’s how he usually handles his emotions.

They pull into the cave and Tim all but jumps from the car, making quick strides to get to his station at the computer so he can type up his report before Bruce gets any stupid ideas like talking about it. Not that Tim expects the old man to ever acknowledge what happened.

He’s not even sure what Bruce would say about it that wouldn’t sound hollow and cheap.

So he speeds through his report in record time and nearly falls on his face because he’s moving too fast in the shower. When he’s finally in civies again and ready to go, he pauses behind the computer chair where Bruce is still hunched over his own report, moving almost comically slowly in contrast to Tim’s breakneck speed.

Tim clears his throat. “I’m going to head out. I’ll see you tomorrow night Bruce.”

He turns on his heel to leave, but at the last second Bruce’s voice stops him. “Wait.”

He considers leaving anyway, but he’s not quite willing to disobey Bruce over something so simple. He doesn’t like doing things in half measures, and his teenage rebellion, if and when it comes, will be no exception. “Yes?”

Bruce hesitates, possibly considering retreat, but in the end, he barrels forward with all his usual social ineptitude. “About what happened—”

“Slip of the tongue.” Tim cuts him off smoothly, stopping what would have been an awkward and emotionally stunted moment.

What he wants to do is scream because Bruce called him Jason. What he wants to do is ask if he’s still not good enough even after he’s proven himself time and again through his detective work. What he wants to do is rage at Bruce for saying out loud what Tim already knew was true.

He’s a placeholder. A prescription balm that Bruce is using to soothe the pain of losing Jason. He’s not Robin. Not in the ways that count, because he’s not Bruce’s son. His parents are still alive and well, wherever the hell they are.

But he can’t yell or get angry because this is what he signed up for. He went in knowing he’d be the third in a line of many, little more than an inconsequential blip in the history of Gotham’s vigilantes, but he’d screwed up and gotten himself attached. Between the success he’s had as a detective and Bruce’s slowly but steadily warming nature, Tim had just started to believe maybe they were more than partners forced on each other.

You’d think he’d be used to disappointments by now, but they never seem to stop hurting.

Bruce twists around in his chair to finally look at Tim, his brows drawn together in a tight frown. “Tim—“

“It’s not your fault.” Tim smiles at him to show he means it, but it doesn’t come out right. He’s gotten so used to his smiles being at least an approximation of real that the perfect display of teeth Janet drilled into his head feels disjointed and wrong. “We’re both tired. It’s probably best if I just go home to get some rest and we forget about the whole thing. Goodnight, Bruce.”

He’s gone before Bruce can reply.

Alfred, however, has faster reflexes. “Before you go Master Timothy, I made a lovely rhubarb pie. I insist you take some home with you.” Tim hesitates. He made it out of the cave and still wants to complete his desperate flee from the manor, but Alfred hasn’t done anything wrong, and Tim just doesn’t have it in him to refuse the old butler.

He’ll make it quick. “Okay, sure.” He allows Alfred to silently lead him to the kitchen, trying not to look like the skittish puppy he is.

Alfred pulls out an already packaged pie for Tim to take, but when Tim grabs it, he doesn’t let go. “There is something I wished to discuss with you.”

He should have known it was a trap. A sweet, delicious trap. “Yes Alfred?” Tim asks tiredly, suddenly missing his bed very dearly.

“I fear Master Bruce has behaved rather thoughtlessly this evening and I want to ensure you are alright.”

It takes a moment for the words to register. Alfred is… checking on him. Strange. Tim swallows past the marble in his throat to reply, “I really am fine. I know he doesn’t… he’s in pain. I can take it.” This time his smile is a little more convincing, if a little wetter.

Alfred looks at him sadly. “If you can take it is not the issue. The issue is that you should not have to.”

It shouldn’t be a miraculous statement, and there is no reason Alfred’s sympathetic words should rock Tim’s whole world view, but of all the things that have happened in Tim’s life, the good and the bad, whether or not he deserves them has never even crossed his mind.

He’s never viewed himself as a victim, or even a child. His suffering just hasn’t been as important as everyone else’s. He’s never thought that was a strange viewpoint until this moment.

For once, Tim’s expression gives away everything that’s happening in his head, and Alfred reads it like a book. “You don’t deserve to live in his shadow. You deserve to be seen as your own person.”

“Am I my own person?” he blurts, like a toddler grasping for any reassurance no matter how baseless. He hates sounding like that, but the dam has been broken and Tim couldn’t stop now if he tried. “I don’t feel like I am. I feel like a jigsaw puzzle held together by sheer force of will and luck that’s going to run out someday. My pieces aren’t mine. I’m not me. I’m… I’m a byproduct of all their sins. Mother’s, father’s, Bruce’s, even Dick and Jason’s. Alfred, I can’t tell what’s me and what’s a reflection. I’m—” He can’t breathe. His lungs ache like he hasn’t had air in several minutes. The panic in his voice has been building and now it’s breaking over him like a tidal wave that’s threatening to wash him away.

Alfred’s eyes are watery with sympathetic pain and the pie lays forgotten on the counter. He reaches out like he might touch Tim or hug him, but Tim flinches violently away.

“I’m s-sorry.” He stutters, eyes wide and horrified at his own involuntary response.

Alfred just shakes his head. “It is I who must apologize. I am sorry for this pain.”

Despite the shakiness he feels in his very core, Tim snorts. “It’s not your fault.”

“Perhaps not, but someone must apologize for what has been done to you.”

Tim freezes. The watery edge of his panic is turning sharp and dangerous. “No, it’s my fault. I’m the one who did this.”

For a moment, Alfred just looks at him. He doesn’t rush to tell Tim he’s wrong—even if his expression makes his feelings clear enough—he just looks at him. “You are stronger than anyone gives you credit for, Master Timothy, but strength has limits. I beg of you not to test them.”

Tim can only nod, glassy eyes reflecting the warm kitchen lights. He desperately needs out and away from this conversation, but at the same time he wants nothing more than to stay, and let the rest of what he’s been feeling break free. He can’t do that though because he’s scared if he does, he’ll never be able to put it all away again.

At length, he croaks, “Thank you,” as sincerely as he can with a voice that sounds weaker and rougher than he’s comfortable with. The words can’t possibly express his gratitude for Alfred in this moment, but he doesn’t know how else to show it.

To Tim’s eternal relief, Alfred doesn’t comment. He only hands Tim the pie, and lets him go.

#cutting this scene physically hurt me #but it had to be done #angst #ficlet #tim drake #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #batfam feels #hurt with a little comfort #as a treat #broken bird’s club #the third robin

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marshunter06 · 5 years ago

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Sad Bitch- Łaszewo (Trentney)

A/N: Sorry I’ve been absent, but my brain has been a bitch lately... I never imagined I would be writing a fic like this, but I had to get it out. The reason why I do have such a soft spot for Trentney is because I have a Trent in my life to keep me grounded and I’m so grateful for him

To be a good artist means one must be burdened with great suffering especially at the hands of oneself. This may not apply to all the arts and typically not with singers, but Courtney understood this more than anyone in the industry. It was never her intention to be this way, dissociating while her manager tried to plan her next move, but the weight of her own thoughts were just too much to carry. Back when Total Drama was still a thing, she hid her depression well, she often exploded into anger to keep people out. No one would dare befriend a fiery volcano just waiting to erupt, no one besides him at least. With a touch of his hand, she was brought back to reality to listen to the meeting with their label. His smile and bright green eyes soothed her dark thoughts away briefly, enough to put on her persona as a successful pop princess. His hand stayed put, right next to hers barely touching. It brings a warm feeling into her heart and soon she’s lost in a daydream with him as the focus. Still the sadness starts to ease into her thoughts making doubts plague her mind. Was she foolish with possibly falling for her best friend? Was it smart to trust Trent with her heart so soon after her final breakup with Duncan? Would it even be the final breakup? Duncan, the name still leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. She still remembers everything about their failed relationship, every callous word thrown at each other without regard for the other’s feelings. A primes example of two toxic people made for each other. Their love always sizzled out leading to another prison both were too familiar to let go of. What happened to the young her who welcomed every change with a light in her eyes? Courtney doesn’t know when her old self died only to be reborn into a shell of who she was before, but when she finally realized what happened, it was too late.

“Court, you’re home.”

She blinks once then twice wondering when she got into his car. Her scenery magically changed from a corporate office to her newly purchased home.

“Here, I’ll walk you inside. I think I forgot my guitar pick anyways.”

“The silver one?”

“Yeah, did you find it?”

“No, I’ve been busy, sorry. It should be in the studio though.”

He simply smiles as he walks around to open her door; he doesn’t call her out on her obvious lie. She wasn’t busy, he’s been there with her as her demons pull her away from the real world, she just stares into nothingness. He tries to pull her out of it when possible, usually a nudge will do it, but sometimes the demons are too powerful to keep at bay for long. Lately it’s been worse. They’ve had to reschedule the label meeting several times already. He knows she’s heading down a dark path, it’s why he’s been making excuses to stay over despite him living an hour plus away due to LA traffic.

“Found it, you were right, it was on top of the piano.”

“Oh? Glad it’s not missing anymore, thanks for bringing me back by the way.”

“‘Course, can’t leave my fav girl stranded.”

“I would’ve been fine, really. You can go home. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Is that a promise?”

“I never break my promises.”

He only hesitated slightly then nodded bidding her goodnight. It was already late, the moon high above the sky with stars twinkling around the crescent shaped light. He was almost out the door when he turned back to tell her to look outside.

“The moon is beautiful tonight.”

“You tell me this every night.”

“And I mean it everytime.”

“We couldn’t even see it a few nights ago.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s not still beautiful.”

“Trent, I think you’ve been awake for too long. Get some sleep tonight.”

“You too. I’ll call when I get home, so you don’t worry.”

“You can just text me, I’ll still be up.”

“It’s better to hear your voice.”

“You hear it all the time, you should be sick of it.”

“You’re kidding right? I get the honor of listening to the greatest singer of our generation, how could I ever pass that opportunity up?”

“Are you talking about yourself again?”

This gets both of them to smile, he knows he’s succeeded in pushing away her sorrow for a moment. It won’t last long though, they both knew this. She can only hope she doesn’t call him crying again tonight. He’s been losing sleep because of her, still he never complains.

After he leaves, she tries her best to get ready for bed. She gets distracted a few times, just managing to slip under her covers by the time Trent calls her letting her know he made it home safely. She keeps the conversation short telling him she’s tired, he wishes her sweet dreams as she tells him good night. She lays in bed tossing and turning until she’s on her side facing her window with the just a glow of the moonlight seeping into her dark room. She closes her eyes willing sleep to take over, but her brain runs wild bringing her further into its abyss.

You’re going to be sad and alone forever.

Trent doesn’t love you, no one does, you couldn’t even keep Duncan.

Your parents are ashamed of you, you’re the reason they divorced.

Cate’s won’t talk to you because you’re too much to handle, your own sister hates you.

You’re only famous because no one’s caught on that you’re talentless yet, the whole world will shun you soon.

The only reason you have hits is because Trent’s the one writing the songs, when he leaves you’ll be nothing.

What’s it like being a hurtful bitch getting karma like you deserve?

Honestly Courtney, you’re pathetic, why do you even try? No one likes a sad bitch.

Everyone’s tired of how whiny you are, just stop with your lame excuses, who cares if you didn’t get sleep?

The self hatred goes on and on until she’s drowning in negative energy. She’s suffocating and breathing isn’t helping, she can’t take in air fast enough, the room feels too confined. She needs to get up and get out, but she can’t, she’s trapped. Tears stream out of her eyes as her body continues to be paralyzed, her heart is erratic and she can barely breathe. It’s too much, the walls are caving in and she can’t do anything to stop it. She closes her eyes again trying to fight back with happy thoughts, but she fails again and again as her mind continues to tell her how useless she is. She’s losing the battle, she just wants it to be quiet, but her thoughts ring loud and clear with every word cutting into her soul. Pain, so much pain leaving invisible scars all over her. If she waits long enough she’ll blackout from the pressure, she just has to focus on her breathing. In then out, in then out, she can do this, she promised she could…

Her eyes snap open and she’s able to move once more. Her first thought is to call him, she should’ve just asked him to stay. She’s always felt better in his arms, his regular heartbeat bringing her back to earth. Why didn’t he fight harder to stay this time? Was he really sick of her too? He’s just like the others, he can’t handle her. The kindest person she’s ever met and even he’s exhausted being near her. The misery takes over and all she wants is to drown herself in alcohol and cigarettes. All bad habits she learned from her ex, though to be fair, she didn’t take much persuading. She’s always known she has an addicting personality, it’s why she tried to stay sober, but she needed an escape. A bottle or two of wine wouldn’t be too bad. It was with this thought in mind that she decided to go into the living room for her secret stash of sherry’s. She rounds the corner heading to her hidden cabinet when she spots it: a silver guitar pick on the coffee table. She stops dead in her tracks.

“Trent.”

She sits on the ground as she cradles the pick rubbing over the letter “T” confirming it was his. She feels restless as she continues to stare at the precious item left behind for her sake. He knew. He must have. Why else would he leave the pick again? She closes her palm and holds it close to her chest, she has an overwhelming urge to do something. She wants to go to him, so she does, she doesn’t bother with a jacket, she simply follows her heart running out in the dead of night. She’s out the door in a flash clearly not thinking as she leaves her car behind and doesn’t lock her door. All she knows to do is keep moving forward as she jogs into a sprint. The cold air hits her bare arms and legs, but she isn’t bothered.

She makes it a block before her brain catches up telling her this is a bad idea; she starts to spiral down in her thoughts again. Do you even know where you’re going Courtney? You’re such an idiot, you just moved. How do you know the way to his house already? He obviously doesn’t want you to disturb him, he’s never invited you over since you moved. Stop with your delusions, Trent doesn’t like you, he only puts up with you because you work together. What are you going to do now? You’re lost. You’re going to lose him just like how you lost everyone else in your life. Face it Courtney, you’re just a loser. All you do is waste time.

She collapses on the hard concrete scraping her knee in the process. She nearly drops the pick in her hands as she hides her face with tears streaming down her cheeks. She doesn’t know what to do and now she’s blinded by a bright light. She drops her hands, it wasn’t the moonlight nor the streetlight, so it must be a headlight. It’s the middle of the night, no one should be out driving in this neighborhood. She should get up and go back home, but she’s lost the strength. She’s not even slightly afraid as the car approaches closer. It slows to a stop right next to her as she continues to stare forward. She doesn’t hear him when he calls out to her. She’s tired and cold, all she wants to do is close her eyes. She opens her eyes when she feels a warm jacket draped over her engulfing her in a familiar scent.

“Sorry I’m late, didn’t realize you wanted to go jogging.”

“Trent?”

“Hey Court.”

He says her name with a smile, he doesn’t question her on why she was out in her pajamas at nearly three in the morning sitting on the ground. He helps her up and into the passenger seat as he drives them back to her place. He doesn’t yell at her, his voice is calm and gentle when he tells her she’s home. She removes her seatbelt and that’s when she notices the duffel bag in the back seat. He catches her gaze explaining immediately even though he would never ask her to tell him what went wrong.

“It’s just some spare clothes. I was going to leave it in the car. I figure I might be here a while since we’re going to start on the new album tomorrow… or today rather.”

“You can bring it inside. I don’t mind.”

“You sure?”

She nods. He smiles at her again as he grabs the duffle in one hand with the other holding hers as they walk back inside her place. He doesn’t scold her on leaving her door ajar and unlocked. Once inside is when he notices the scrape on her knee. He immediately heads to the bathroom to grab the medical kit to help clean her wound. When she’s all patched up, he places a kiss on her bandaid as if it was the most natural thing to do. He notices her surprise.

“Sorry, Mom always did that for me whenever I got hurt. It took the pain away.”

She doesn’t say anything, she just opens her left hand where the pick had been the entire time. He takes it from her understanding that she was okay for now. When he looks at her again she’s overcome with another intense feeling, one that she never thought she would feel again so quickly. Panic starts to rise within as her brain feeds her false information. He pulls her out of the darkness as he wraps his arms around her keeping her safe and secure. The intruding fear leaves as she calms down. She pushes him away when his embrace becomes too much, he scoots over to give her more space.

“Are you ready to go to sleep Court?”

“Almost. I know it’s late, but I want to write for a bit. You can go to sleep first.”

“Inspiration strikes at any time. I’ll stay up with you.”

She pulls out her notebook armed with purple ink as it spills out on the page. He doesn’t interrupt, as she continues to put words on paper. It’s not often that she gets to write herself. She writes down all her haunting thoughts and with each line she feels a bit more healed. It’s therapeutic in a way, she wonders why she never did this in the first place, it would’ve saved her a lot more heartache. She passes him the notebook when she’s finished, he scans through the words until he reaches the end. He looks back up at her with a smile and a promise.

We've all been hurt before

If all's fair in love and war

What are we fighting for?

Baby, had the good intentions

Couldn't face another change of direction

Tell me what's the method to your madness

I'm just a fucking sad bitch, show me you can handle it

Save me from my own reflection

I can't take this tight rope tension

Tell me what's the method to your madness

I'm just a fucking sad bitch, show me you can handle it

A/N: This is only a glimpse of how I feel, I didn’t want to make the fic more dark, but it did to write it out. If anyone else is in the same boat know you’re not alone and that you can beat this. I’m still here and you here too.

#trentney #sfs #depression tw #it’ll be ok and maybe I can find more normal inspiration #sad bitch summer let’s not make this a trend

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musicnoots · 5 years ago

Text

Ice Cream and Aliens - Storming Area 51 (3/3)

Band of Brothers

A/N: The final part. Enjoy I’m tired

Synopsis: After the successful raid on Area 51, the boys head out to eat ice cream and reflect on their adventure.

Part 1 Part 2

Tags: @gottapenny @croatianbagudna @higgles123 @wexhappyxfew @dustyjjumpwings @bandofmarvels @medievalfangirl @curraheev @those-dusty-jump-wings

After the guys stormed Area 51 successfully, the first place they headed to was to the nearest ice cream parlor. Dick wanted to go home, but then Ron said that he could just walk home while the others went to get ice cream, so he complied.

The escape from the highly classified area was very hectic, for most people. Buck’s group ended up leaving first because they got bored looking at all of the shiny scrap metal being displayed on the shelves, but the real reason was because Joe tried to fight the guards for Web. After thirty minutes of him complaining about missing Web and how they shouldn’t have sacrificed him like that, he made a run for it while Buck and Harry were busy taking things and shoving them into their pockets. Joe really didn’t make it that far—he started screaming at the first guard he saw and threaten to punch him as Buck tried to pry the man off the guard’s face. However, not too far behind them, Web was sitting on the floor, being useless while detained by the guards and when Joe saw that, he ran for him, and that was the end of it.

For the other group, their escape wasn’t the smoothest, but at least they left before the guards and security could arrest them. It was after Lewis’ sixteenth photo with the alien specimen that they decided to leave, pockets full of alien stickers and keychains for their friends back home. A lot of them were for George because they felt bad for not inviting him to the trip. They also tried to find an alien toothbrush for Perconte but to no avail. Unfortunately, the group left when Liebgott was dragging Web back to the exit by his hair with Buck and Harry following close behind, screaming Hi-ho silver bitches! Web, c’mon! We’re getting out of here! Bill and Joe followed in pursuit, wanting to leave as soon as possible while Lewis tried to get Ron out of here. The thing is—Ron locked the vault door, so he could have some meditation with the aliens surrounding him, to become one with the aliens.

The boys came sprinting back into the car, filing in like high schoolers trying to get into the lunch line thirty seconds after the bell rang. Lipton took a quick count of the boys, his hand on the wheel and foot on the gas before realizing that Ron hadn’t come back with them.

Fifteen seconds later, they all saw Ron run out of the facility with an alien. An alien. A full grown extraterrestrial that was running side-to-side with Ron as he was its mother.

He didn’t say anything about it when he got inside the car, demanding that Dick get in the backseat because he wanted to sit in the front. Lip floored it out of there, but not driving that fast because he still wanted to obey the speed limit there. He doesn’t want to get a parking ticket.

It was ten minutes on their journey back home that Lip asked Ron what he brought back, and he simply said Alien and that was the end of the conversation.

Now, the men were sitting at three conjoined tables at the nearest ice cream parlor for a small snack after their alien hunting adventure in the scorching Nevada heat. Lipton originally asked everyone to share two big sundaes, but then everyone decided on their own single scoop orders, so he paid for all of them because he didn’t want anyone to feel left out. The most expensive of those orders was Bill who decided it was a good idea to get a deluxe banana split sundae with extra whipped cream.

“I can’t believe you ate all of it,” Buck said to Bill, who was still scraping the bottom of the bowl with his spoon even though there was literally nothing else. “So I take that you guys had a helluva time there?”

“Pfft, I wish. We got aliens in jars, but Nixon wouldn’t stop talkin’ ‘bout his boyfriend,” Joe said, and they looked at Lewis, who was currently showing Dick every photo he took and going in depth about each one while the red-haired major mixed his mango sorbet with his spoon while nodding and mumbling Yes, Nix, that sounds wonderful over and over again.

“At least you got something interesting. All we got was random metal scraps and Lieb complaining about us leavin’ Web. I mean, we had to leave him! He wouldn’t have done anything!”

“I’m right here,” Web, who was sitting right next to Buck said.

“Yeah, and you should know that you would have been useless in that situation.”

“I’m not useless! I graduated from Harvard!”

“Boy, you literally thought we were going to the beach,” Buck said, focusing on his ice cream again before leaning over to Web’s ear. “And I graduated from UCLA, you smart ass bitch.”

Lieb patted his friend’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Web, don’t listen to him. He probably pours milk before the cereal.”

Web shrugged him off in annoyance. “How does that make me feel better? You make me feel like an idiot!”

“I know, but you’re my idiot. Also, you did think we were going to the beach, you dumb.”

Webster flail his arms in the air. “You were the one who told me that!”

Ever since they got Webster back, Liebgott has been all over him like never before. The last time this happened was when Web was gone for a couple of months to finish his education at Harvard, and when he came back, Joe would not let him go. Literally. He wouldn’t let Web leave the house without him, turn on the stove without adult supervision, or talk to strangers because stranger danger.

His attachment to the Harvard graduate was not as extreme as Ron’s attachment to his new alien.

“Do you like strawberry? Is that what you got?” he asked the alien, and it nodded. Yes, even the alien got a scoop of ice cream. The alien’s ice cream was actually on the house because when the cashier asked for it to pay, Ron simple flicked open his pocket knife on the counter as a threat. “That’s great. I think strawberry is a bit too sweet for my tastes, but I the rocky road is really good, too.”

It was really uncomfortable whenever Ron spoke to the alien, let alone the alien’s presence. When he said that he was going to get an alien and bring it home, everyone was scared. Even Dick feared for the worse. But Ron did get the alien like he said was going to, and it was the best thing that ever happened to him. He has won the game of life. He can retire peacefully knowing that he accomplished something no one can ever.

“Do I need to get the guest room ready when we get back home?” Lip asked.

Ron nodded, eyes still fixated on the alien eating the ice cream. “Yes, please. Also, can you bake cinnamon rolls when we get back?”

Lipton sighed. It wasn’t the alien that stressed him out, it was the cinnamon rolls. They’re just too damn hard to make. “Of course, Ron. Does your friend want any? Should I bake extra?”

“Are we just going to sit here and not acknowledge the fact that Speirs brought a freakin’ alien back?” Web yelled, gathering everyone's attention.

“Web, lower your voice,” Dick warned. He knew Ron too well to know what was going to happen. Guns blazing. Knives on the dining table. Police cars in the front. It was all too familiar, unfortunately. “We’re in a public place.”

However, Web would not shut his trap. He almost stood up, for Christ’s sake. “Wha—How in the world did I get sacrificed for this? You all saw Speirs push me into the guards just to distract them, didn’t you? He didn’t even go with you guys! He went his own way!”

“Well, Speirs is actually helpful, unlike you,” Harry said, mouth full of mint chocolate chip ice cream.

“Oh, you like mint chocolate chip ice cream—what do you know?”

“Pipe the fuck down, nerd,” Bill popped in, almost ready to lash out and beat up the poor kid. “Ron did something none of us could have done, and you have the fuckin’ audacity to even open your pothole? Trick ass bitch—how dare you? He came and conquered, and you got detained and did nothing about it.”

“I am a child of the law.”

“Nerd!”

“Pfft. Whatever. Aliens aren’t real anyways. Ron probably got a mechanical alien.”

That was the breaking point. Ron had enough of hearing this nonsense coming from someone who wasn’t even present to see all of the wonders or Area 51, someone who was much more interested in sharks rather than the glorious creature that are aliens.

Everyone was silent for a brief moment. Dick was waiting for the guns to come out—thank God Chuck didn’t come, or else he’ll have the big guns. Lip was getting ready to restrain Ron, and Buck was unusually nervous which is impossible. He can’t be nervous, he’s Buck Compton!

Ron reached over and slapped Web’s cup of ice cream off the table and onto the floor, the ice cream spilling out of the cup and onto the floor.

“No cinnamon rolls for you,” he said and sat back down.

Web froze. He was dumbfounded, mouth open waiting for the flies to come. It was like his entire world fell apart with that ice cream cup, and all he could feel was Joe’s hand rubbing pentagons on his back, telling him It’s okay, you deserved it, but it’s okay. No one’s perfect.

Meanwhile, Lewis was still trying to explain every photo he took in the facility to Dick. Each photo took him five to twenty-seven minutes to explain because Lewis wanted to go in depth and tell Dick about the background, how he felt, what it’d feel like if he was physically there, and how annoying Bill and Joe were in that moment.

“See, here—” he leaned closer to show him the photo on the camera, “I took a photo with this jar of alien specimen. It looks the same as the last one, but it’s not! This one had more alien juice, and you could see Joe’s thumb in the corner because he clearly doesn’t know how to use a camera and—hello? Dick?” He snapped his fingers in front of his eyes. “Hey! You’re not paying attention! Pay attention to me!”

Dick was mesmerized by the presence of an alien in the same room as him. He was a nonbeliever, but after seeing it in the flesh eating ice cream, he’s not even sure if he can trust himself! I mean, Ron’s wiping the alien’s mouth of ice cream as they speak. This was the weirdest moment in his life, and he’s not sure if he likes it or not. He’s too scared to answer that.

“Dick!”

He snapped out of his trance when Lewis violently shook his shoulders. “Huh? Oh, sorry...just looking at the...alien.”

“Oh, so the alien is more interesting than me?”

“Well, if you put it that way...” he hesistantly nodded, “yeah. Yeah, Nix, it is.”

Lewis frowned, heartbroken and shocked because he never thought Dick would say that. He thought he was the most interesting thing in Dick’s life. “Oh...okay. But can I keep showing you the pictures I took?”

Dick sighed. “Nix, all fhe photos you showed me are the same—do you have any photos with the aliens themselves?”

“No.”

Dick almost choked on air, and he wishes he did. He stared at Nix like he was a crazed man, like he was a big fat liar that dragged him all the way to Nevada for an alien hunting party but came back with pictures of aliens but not the damn alien itself! “So you’re telling me that you kidnapped me and dragged me to the middle of Nevada for the aliens but didn’t actually meet or touch an actual alien?”

Lewis smiled sweetly.

“I am leaving,” Dick groaned before Lewis pounced on him, keeping him from escaping.

“No!” he exclaimed. “Don’t leave! If you wanted an alien for yourself, you could have just told me instead of acting mad.”

“No, that’s not what I meant—“

“Lip, start the car! We’re going back to Area 51 just for Dick!”

This time, Lewis made sure to take Dick with him to see the aliens.

#band of brothers fic #band of brothers imagines #band of brothers imagine #band of brothers fanfic #band of brothers fanfiction #band of brothers #easy company #hbo war #joe liebgott #david webster #dick winters #richard winters #lewis nixon #buck compton #harry welsh #bill guarnere #joe toye #ron speirs #ronald speirs

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ginngardner · 7 years ago

Photo

IS YOUR CHARACTER

[001] the face of any products // the closest endorsement tristan has is with fender, but he’s not so much the face of the company as much as a partner. they’re actually releasing a guitar he designed this year.

[002] open about their private life // no, tristan is very adament about keeping his public life and private life separate and has a history of having a very volatile relationship with the paparazzi because of it.

[003] an advocate for any charities // when he believes in them, yes. he won’t donate just for the sake of looking good, and will only give money to or make appearances for causes he actually cares about.

[004] involved in a relationship for publicity // though his management has tried several times to find a girl that’s ‘good for his image, tristan refuses because he has a very honest relationship with his fans.

[005] where they are because of dishonest / shady moves // tristan has mad a lot of mistakes in his career, but integrity is important to him. if he’s done anything shady in his career, it wasn’t intentional.

WHO DOES YOUR CHARACTER

[006] @ / retweet regularly // his fans actually, but it’s very random and only when a tweet generally makes him think or makes him laugh. he’ll usually add some kind of ‘witty’ comment because he thinks he’s funny.

[007] mention most in interviews // his band who have been with him since he was playing smoky bars for tips. he very rarely mentions his family or friends because he doesn’t like talking about his personal life.

[008] go to when they need some help // usually his siblings, because they do maintain a good relationship most of the time and he values their opinions the most since they’re not afraid to be honest with him.

[009] idolize / adore more than life itself // he has so many heroes in the business that he’s been lucky enough to meet and even play with. jimi hendrix is the GOAT for him though, his number one.

[010] want to end up with (in their dreams) // at the end of the day, tristan just wants to be surrounded by a bunch of good people. if he has his family, his band and some good friends then he’s good.

WHAT WAS

[011] the first thing they tweeted // tristan’s twitter was originally made by his manager so for the first year, he never signed into it. until one night he couldn’t sleep and started tweeting back at fans at 2am, which he still does.

[012] the first event they got invited to // the premiere of some movie when he was just starting to get famous because they used one of his songs on the soundtrack. his wardrobe for the night was questionable.

[013] the last (non work related) vacation they took // traveling is very important to tristan and he tries to visit a new country, tour dates don’t count, every year. this year it was the prague in the czech republic.

[014] the first thing published about them on lounge // some photos leaked of tristan and his then girlfriend, who wasn’t famous and lounge posted an article about them from a ‘trusted source’ that was entirely made up.

[015] the project that made them want to act / write / sing / etc. // tristan grew up listening to 80s rock... but it was actually marty mcfly’s guitar performance from back to the future that inspired him to pick up the instrument.

WHY

[016] do they put up with all of the bs that comes with the business // music is who tristan is. it’s all he knows. it’s in his bones. and he can’t imagine his life without it. everything else is just a side effect.

[017] did they pursue the career they’re currently in // tristan never meant to become the pop rock star he did. he just wanted to play music, as part of a band or whatever. the solo career happened on accident.

[018] did they choose the media persona they did // there is no persona, what you see is what you get. tristan has never pretended to be something he wasn’t. the media likes to portray him as a bad boy but... that’s on them.

[019] do they hate gossip magazines so much // he’s always been so honest to his fans about his music and his career but he’s always wanted to keep his personal life separate. tabloids do the opposite.

[020] would they ever make a sex tape // no way. not only does he have no interest in that kind of thing, but sex is a very intimate act and he’s such a private person anyway, he would never risk something like that leaking.

WHERE

[021] did they hear their first song on the radio // he was driving by himself on the highway on the way home after a string of shows and actually had to pull over. then he just laughed because why would anyone play his song?

[022] did they find out they’d landed their first project // he had just walked off stage at a smoky bar in new york city when a man approached him to set up a meeting. he signed a record deal the next day. it all happened very fast.

[023] did they go on vacation after their first big project // after the initial rush of first radio single/first album/first real tour, tristan did some traveling through some of his favorite countries in europe, mostly touristy places like france, italy, germany, spain.

[024] do they live when they want to get away from it all // london will always be home for tristan, but he gets recognized a lot on the street so lately he's been spending a lot of time in the irish countryside and he enjoys it a lot.

[025] was their first big press conference // in london outside of his record label's british sister label, announcing his first full studio album after the surprising success of his debut single.

WAS THEIR FIRST

[026] project embarrassing // embarrassing isn't the right word, but he was still learning a lot about himself, his sound and the recording process then, so it's definitely not his favorite work but he's proud of it.

[027] talk show appearance a wreck // there was a whole "practice" session with his publicist, then in true tristan graves fashion, he went completely off script. so while not a disaster in his eyes, the label wasn't happy with it.

[028] public relationship heavily followed // if tristan had his way, he wouldn't have any public relationships but with his celebrity status it's near impossible to completely evade the gossip, so yes.

[029] fan encounter awkward / nice / sweet / etc. // the first time tristan was recognized outside of a show or work environment, he was grocery shoopping after midnight in pajamas. his hair was a mess and he hadn't shaved but the girl was still excited and got a fun story to tell.

[030] relationship (while famous) talked about at all // tristan has only ever been in a relationship with one other celebrity and that person was a lot more open with their personal life than he was. there were a lot of tabloid stories, most of them false but some things were real so that whole experience was eye opening.

WILL

[031] they ever open any sort of business // there have been rumors about tristan selling his own line of everything from clothes to amps to guitars and even a strange little rumor about male grooming kits but no he doesn't currently have any plans.

[032] they ever win a major, prestigious award // tristan was actually nominated for a grammy for his second studio album but he didn't win. obviously that's something he'd like to cross off the ol' bucket list, but he doesn't make music for awards.

[033] they ever host the smn version of saturday night live // that's been a dream of tristan's for so long and he recently got to be the musical guest on an episode but has not hosted yet.

[034] they ever work tirelessly for years to get a project going // there have been albums released a year apart and there was a three year hiatus once. he writes all of his own music and despite constant pressure from the label, he never wants to rush an album.

[035] they take pictures with fans who approach them on their off time // it honestly depends on what he's doing, where he is and who he's with... and his mood that day. he's usually okay with it but everyone has off days.

DOES YOUR CHARACTER

[036] invest their money wisely // tristan has never really been a big spender. he has expensive things but is more likely to spend it on guitars than fancy things. he did splurge on a house for his family, a penthouse for himself and a cool car though.

[037] work only on projects they love // now more than when he was younger and let a movie use his song for the soundtrack before realizing the film was rubbish. every song he puts out comes from the heart and integrity is so important to him.

[038] care more about the fame than anything // it's never been about the fame for tris. it's always been about the music... but it does go to his head every once in a while. he's only human.

[039] often find they’ve put their foot in their mouth // oh, all the time. especially when it's late at night and he's drunk tweeting. orrr anytime he opens his mouth. he says a lot of stupid shit but he doesn't mean any harm.

[040] hide things from the public because they are afraid / ashamed of what the reaction could be // while he tries to keep his personal life separate from his professional life, it's never been because he's ashamed. he's a very honest person and he's unapologetic about who he is.

DO YOU HONESTLY THINK YOUR CHARACTER

[041] is a good person // yes, but he's flawed like any human being. the media paints a picture of him being an asshole but that's only partially true. he has a good heart underneath the bad boy persona.

[042] will have career longevity // yes, to an extent. music is a big part of who he is as a person and he can't imagine his life without it. he knows that the fame and fortune will inevitably fade away but as long as he can keep putting out music he'll be happy.

[043] deserves the career they have // tristan puts his heart and soul into his music. he's involved in everything from the writing to the producing to the performing and everything on between.

[044] can remain unjaded by hollywood // as long as he has the freedom to make the music he wants to make instead of conforming to what a label or anyone else wants him to be, sure. the moment he changes into something he's not is the moment he walks away.

[045] will spend the rest of their life with the person they marry // given that he has no immediate plans to get married, that's up in the air. he's called a heartbreaker by the media but he would never cheat so if he ever does get married, he will be loyal to that person as long as they are.

GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY WOULD YOUR CHARACTER

[046] date / marry a fan // probably not, if only because he would spend the entire relationship wondering if they married tristan the person or tristan the celebrity.

[047] star on any type of reality show // no way. he hates reality tv and has probably turned down an offer to appear. he might cameo on a show or movie franchise he's a fan of but never reality tv.

[048] donate to charity / do good deeds without publicity // he actually does this on a regular basis. he has a few charities he holds close to his heart and is very involved in one called music cares. though some of his appearances are publicized, not all of them are.

[049] say exactly what they think about the ins/outs of fame // probably not directly but he's definitely made indirect commemts about his feelings on the industry.

[050] walk comic con without any security (in or out of disguise) // no because getting recognized would ruin the fun of going AS a fan. maybe in a costume but again, probably not.

#smnrp #this was written half on mobile so i hope it formats okay yikes #smnrp contest

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mermaidfan76 · 7 years ago

Text

Homeless Autistic Girl

Hey guys... this really kills me to ask, however right now I’m homeless at the moment.

Technology, I’m living with a long time friend who is hounding me to find a job since she believes it’s just so damn easy and move out by The end of February. I’ve put out application after application and only maybe a couple have called back for an interview. Only for them to tell me the same exact thing over and over, “You don’t seem like you will do well for this job.” With out even giving me a garsh darn chance to show them I’m willing to work my butt off.

Yet, they hire people who are literally ALLERGIC to manual labor, and pay them twice the wage to appease them so they don’t get sued. It pisses me off. I have Autism and PTSD, I watched my mother and fathers beloved dog get run over by a car, I know these people have mommy and daddy’s that coddle them. My parents died on September 22, 2013. My sister’s threw me out in the cold and said I’m on own. I’m still here, sadly. Not one day goes by and I don’t think about giving up and killing myself. Love to give that bayberry (under a new name) Bitch and all the rest what they wanted in the first place! With heartless pieces off shit like them in this world, I definitely don’t feel it’s worth the aggravation!

You push, you kick, you fight, you bite, you bunch, but guess what you end up someone else’s lunch! It’s survival of the fittest and you’ve won the game if you have Money, Fame, and/or Power! Just 1 on these gives you the right to control poor peoples lives!

You can play the advocate for good all day, but turning a blind eye to the innocent people that are truly in pain by the very people you are advocating for. Who’s the real villain? Saying the people who did nothing deserve it because someone said its poetic revenge... read a book. Get your facts straight, you really think they would attack now? Why didn’t they attack back then? People don’t postpone revenge -_-...

(if I had a grudge against a person, I’d want to get them now, not expect my descendants to attack his descendants. 1. How do I know if they’ll follow through? 2. What if everything is patched up and my other descendants didn’t know that and still desire to take their revenge? (They don’t even know what the whole argument is about... could be about stealing the last slice of pizza) This is about taking over the world just like before! We stopped them once! They’re trying again, however they fooled you!)

So with politics, islamphopia (more like not wanting an ideology of woman haters who desire to take over any free country and turn it to a world of oppression and insanity), racism (a political term used when a white person doesn’t agree with you), feminist (because women are oppressed because they have tits and a vigina), fatphopia (because veggies don’t taste like cake, if they did we’d still become fat, why? Because we’d get sick of sweets and want savory tasting veggies that you only get from cake... oh the irony), LBGT without Q (Queers are just feminist men who are really flamboyant gays... and real gays try to avoid, ever heard the term, “Queer as a Clock work Mouse.” Man I miss my English mother! The LBG, The Les, The Bi, and The Gay, do as you wish... Hey I’m you Bi, I find shapely girls just Be A U Ti Ful to draw, have to get that full body motion. Gays, love ya, best guy friends and you give perfect fashion advice, Lesbians, you’re very easy going and easy to talk to, al yal are A O Kay in my book. Trans, um... look umm... I’m female... I have more of a male mind... we can find common ground here can’t we?) and that’s what I go through everyday. Half the words I’m called... how do they apply to me? Like racist? I judge by character, not by skin tone.

(All I see is another human being in front of me. If you act like you’re above a human being, than I’ll treat you the way you treat me. Not one human is above another. If you have earnt that privilege than you are granted that only by the people who gave you such power, however they have the power to take it away. That is the true purpose of the second Amendment! In short; “a president is a civil servant to the people of his/her country that he/she has sworn to protect! As such nothing is beneath them!”)

I really wish people would do their homework...

My friend I was talking about earlier; well she’s not only getting on my case about finding a job, but she’s also pissing me off about politics. Her plan is to be an American History Teacher. She wants to teach her class how America was founded on the “Socialistic” Principles we use today and that’s bullshit! We wouldn’t have many of our largest company products that I bet everyone of you see every single day, more than likely every minute of your day.

(For Starters:

Let’s start off with Ford, if America was a Socialistic Society, well then all of you who drive a Ford let alone a car in general, would walk everywhere. If it wasn’t for Ford’s Model T being a Successful test run clearing the way to Model A. Ford’s company could only up from there. (Btw: anyone who drives the VMW Bug- just a little trivia for you did you know that the original design was created by Adolf Hitler himself? Adolf Hitler was the original Designer for the shape of that car the VMW Bug, just a little tid pit I know from Graphic Design School, hope that doesn’t ruin your VMW driving experience:D)

Another one I’d like to point out: McDonald’s, that famous Golden Arches fast food places started as a ma and pa rest stop, now it’s one of the biggest fast food chains in the world! Mickey D’s started again in America! Again how is that possible in a Socialistic society?

Socialism is structured to where everyone is equal... equal pay... equal healthcare... equal quality of living... doesn’t count the politicians! In this system if you work you’re an idiot. Those who sit on their ass get everything handed to them, those who work their asses off barely survive. So why bother putting yourself through that much torture. Because:

No one working:

No power

No cable

No doctors

No teachers

No police

No food

No safety

No security...

Why? This would have been a good thing! This here proves Socialism doesn’t work!

If everyone decided to not work because they’re getting ripped off; than America shuts down! The government is screwed! And so are the moochers!)

Those are only two examples of capitalism being a good thing.

There is so much more... not to mention the feminist aspects like Susan B. Anthony: Voicing her “opinion” by voting for who she thought would be a good president. Of course the judge was going to let her off with a warning because “woman privilege” (woman today would be like okay and do it again), however she, Susan B. Anthony, A Real Feminist, (no Feminist is an insult to her, She a Real Woman, The Genuine Wonder Woman!) demanded she was sentenced to jail just like any man who broke the law! (Please oh please can we do that to these modern, pussies who call themselves women!) The first woman to fly a plane over the pacific Amelia, or the women who rose up against unjust treatment Rosa Parks, I mean come on. Worst of all is, she’s being taught tha John Wilkes Booth was Republican and Abraham Lincoln was Democrat... and it’s reversed. There’s a saying the liberals came up with: “if those damn n$&@€ must vote then they should only vote Democrat!”

My friend has become heartless and greedy, I’m in a fucked up spot because of a malicious brat who played innocent and didn’t understand what happens when you compromise. It’s not one side surrenders and the other gains, but what do I expects from the preppy college school type, (not all preppy girls are mean, I just have this personality that sends the wrong vibes and makes them more territorial)AKA mean girl type... however, this girl demanded everything goes her way or else. She’s from Georgia, yet she comes to higher elevation part and in the middle of the US, it’s winter yet she expects sunshine and beaches? All of us to be drinking out of a coconut? Yes, her hair is blonde at the roots, and she smokes pot in the apartment. Kind of gives you a clue on the person she is. Of and her Boy Toy is always there... when I stayed there. She blamed me for her messes, and her food she didn’t eat. Thing is I hate fish. Well another one to count she has a low IQ from the Mercury poisoning... and here I thought fish helped with brain development.

Anyway, it was hell, so my friend volunteered on the condition that I find a job and move out ASAP. I’m tryin as hard as I can here.

Being told no everywhere I go is very discouraging. I’ve made a gofund me campaign to maybe to maybe help a little... I don’t expect anyone to donate really... if anyone could click the link and share it to a friend they know and spread it around.

By February the only place I’ll be staying is my car on the side of the road... just sharing the story helps. Thank you.

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high5nerd · 5 years ago

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Alone Together---Chap. Six

Don’t worry, you didn’t skip anything, my past self is an idiot and completely missed chapter five and went straight to six. So technically it’s Chapter Five, not Six.

And apparently I’m a lazy fuck and won’t fix it now.

WOOP.

"Sadie?" Alice called down the hallway, putting on her coat and fingerless gloves slowly.

Her little sister, thinking of happy thoughts and hanging out with her two favorite people in the world, whipped open her door and came running down the hallway, carrying two rag dolls in her arms excitedly.

But she was met with only her sister and the babysitter she used to have a lot, Denali. She liked Denali, and thought she looked a lot like one of those beautiful Indian models, but she didn't want Denali. She wanted Pitch. Where was he? He promised he would be here in the morning…

"Where is Pitch?" she asked, looking between Denali and her older sister.

Denali raised an elegant brow and looked at Alice, confused greatly. Sadie's sister meekly smiled and to the little girl, "I dunno, hun. Maybe he's away working, still. He said he would be back soon."

"Who's Pitch?" Denali asked, and Alice could tell the babysitter was getting slightly weirded out by the name.

"The Boogey-" Sadie started.

"Cousin. Erm, he's a distant cousin of ours that's uh...helping us get by." Alice quickly interrupted, saving Sadie's skin from Denali's habit of drilling kids that fantasies aren't real.

That was one thing Sadie didn't like about her babysitter. She was too into reality.

But even after three days passed, Pitch still didn't return. As each day passed, Sadie and her loving sister got sadder and sadder, feeling broken that he wasn't returning like he promised. But Sadie kept hope. She knew he would come back. Sometimes the little nine year old would stay up late with her big green flashlight and read into the night, occasionally observing the shadows to see if he would come out anytime soon.

But nothing happened. Sadie's sister was so close to giving up that he wouldn't return, but Sadie kept her believing he would.

"He promised us. Spirits can't break promises." Sadie said, cuddling closer to her sister one late night.

"...How do you know that?" Alice asked, fighting back the growing lump in her throat.

"Angels are spirits, right?" Sadie asked.

Her sister nodded slowly, afraid to vocally agree herself.

"So since they're spirits, they can't lie or break promises. That means neither can Pitch. I know he'll be back."

It wasn't until weeks later I found myself in their backyard, unable to move my feet away from the location. I didn't want this gaping hole inside me to get worse, but something was telling me that it was getting worse the more I kept my distance. I knew I didn't deserve their kindness and care, but I had nowhere else to go. What else was I supposed to do? I couldn't get them out of my mind. It was driving me insane!

It wasn't until I reached the window did I realize that I made an unintentional mistake.

I forgot that today was Sadie's birthday.

I saw her sitting at the kitchen table, a small, chocolate cake sitting in front of her surrounded by brownies with sprinkles, with white and yellow candles flickering in the light. Alice had a smile on her face, but something told me it wasn't a real one. I didn't know her as well as I wanted to, but I knew her enough to know that wasn't her real smile. Quickly, I fumbled to take out the stone beacon Sandy gave me and I allowed black sand to swirl around the edges and around my hand. When I tightened my fist and released, in it's place the sand formed into the bindings and chain of a necklace, ebony black but beautiful and elaborate nonetheless. Not sure if Sadie would like it, but it's well worth it. She liked this stone anyway.

Morphing through the shadows behind them into the kitchen, I heard Sadie's sister finish singing the traditional birthday song, rubbing Sadie's back comfortingly.

Sadie looked forlorn. She definitely wasn't happy at all, and she wasn't bothering to hide it. A pout was on her face, both childish and heartbreaking. It kind of actually hurt seeing that…

"Go ahead, Sadie," Alice said, "Make a wish."

"I want Pitch back." Sadie looked up at her, her lower lip wavering.

Her sister nodded gently, brushing back some hair from her face lovingly. "I know, sweetie, me too. But don't let that be a downer on this special day."

I think my heart was actually aching at this sight. It hurt yet it felt good. It felt good only because I heard them honestly say they wanted me around, and let me remind you very clearly, no one wanted me around in the beginning. Maybe I did deserve them, and I wasn't giving enough credit for it. They needed me, and I needed them. Though I felt unworthy of their acceptance, I'll agree to staying with them until they no longer have need of me.

Sadie blew out the candles, and her sister softly clapped at her success. But Sadie was quiet, which definitely wasn't a normal thing Sadie likes to do.

I found myself smiling as I stepped out of the shadows and said aloud, "You really didn't think I would miss this special day, did you?"

Immediately, the both girls jumped in surprise. Alice looked like the living daylights was scared out of her, but then relieved knowing it was me. Sadie screamed happily and jumped out of her chair, running over to me as fast as she could. I couldn't help but chuckle as I knelt down so she could hug me. Sadie bounced happily with a giant smile on her face, her light brown hair flying all around her like a halo.

I shyly smiled at her before holding out the necklace beacon, liking the sound of Alice's gasp and Sadie's wide eyes.

"Wow!" she said, beaming. Her fingers gently touched the light pink stone, warm to the touch.

"I made this for you, since you seemed to like the stone so much. You get to keep it," I said, gently putting the chain around her neck. Her eyes were glowing with glee, smiling at me like I was the father figure she's always wanted, "But remember!" I held up a finger, "if your sister comes to believe in more of the spirits, the color will change, and it may grow in warmth. Don't wear it when its hot out, okay?"

"Yes sir!" Sadie saluted, before bear hugging me again. I patted her back before she broke the hug, excitedly giggled and ran back to the table to finish her cake and brownie.

I looked up at Alice, unsure if I should say something or not. She had an expression on her face that I just couldn't place. Happy was certainly one of them, for she had a smile on her face...but very faint. Her eyes were happy as well, but her eyebrows were raised up as if from the bridge of her nose to her forehead was worried.

….Someone I knew from the past looked at me like that...someone important. Who was it? I can't help but feel it's very familiar.

Your wife.

My thoughts were not usually my own quite often, so it was startling to hear them so suddenly. I was so shaken up I didn't hear Alice's question as I stood in front of her.

"You came back?" she asked. I think she meant it as a statement and not a question, but it ended up being one.

"I could never permanently leave…" I said, looking down to the floor, "there's...there's no where else to go. And...you're all I have left in the world that sees me."

A hand touched my shoulder, a reassuring one. It was hers. Warm...loving...it was at that moment I came to love her hands. I was cold, freezing to the touch. If it were possible, steam would rise from our skin.

"You aren't invisible, Pitch. Is that why you left? You felt hopeless?" she gently asked, bading for my eyes to meet with hers.

I had to look at her or else she would think I'm a coward. Sadie watched us, her eyes unblinking and her mouth open in awe, showing chewed up brownie. The silence was ringing in my ears, and it hurt...never before has silence been so assaulting to my senses before. I used to love it. Now, I hate it.

"...Yes." I curtly said, about to look away from the effort of admitting something so embarrassing.

"Hey…" she said quietly as she touched my shoulder again to get my attention. When I caught her eyes she smiled brightly, "Glad you're back. And this time, stay with us. Can we talk outside later this evening? We still have a whole day for Sadie!"

"Yeah, we do!" Sadie shouted happily, fist pumping the air.

I couldn't help but smile at that. I knew Alice was doing me a favor. She didn't want pressure on me to talk in front of her little sister. She really does have a kind heart...and I knew people could have those, but never directed at me before.

I would never want to let her go.

The rest of the day was spent just how Sadie wanted it. She got me to read her a Harry Potter book, which I've never read before and I quite enjoy it myself now, and her sister cooked up her favorite lunch of bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches. I believe Sadie calls them BLT? I can never understand stuff like that. Probably because I always watch the centuries roll by without actually interfering and seeing the differences happen in the reality I dwelled in.

Sadie's sister brought us to the park to play near the pond and feed the geese, and she bought us all ice cream. At first I didn't want any at all. I don't exactly have a sweet tooth, or at least I thought I didn't. But french vanilla is quite delicious, so I had to submit. At least I didn't go crazy with toppings like Sadie. She literally had gummy bears, sprinkles, cherries and crushed oreos on her ice cream. As predicted, she was bouncing all over the park and having a blast on the swingset and the playground. Honestly, kids and their sugar.

Alice sat next to me on the park bench, the afternoon sun hiding behind the naked trees to give us privacy. Fall here in this little town was warm, but not warm enough for the leaves to stay green or the nights to become chilly. Alice was prepared, wearing a jacket and her beanie as she watched her little sister swing back and forth on the monkey bars.

"I just wanted to thank you for coming back. It really meant a lot to me-and Sadie. Sadie especially...do you know what she said when you were gone?"

I blinked at her slowly, watching her cheeks blush from the biting wind. Her beanie was already slipping off, letting her hair curl around her in the wind...she looked beautiful. She was beautiful.

"What did she say?" my voice sounded too breathless for my taste.

She didn't look away when she said this, which meant she honestly was telling the truth.

"She said that you were the closest thing to a father she's ever had since ours."

I was so flattered I honestly couldn't properly form words. My mouth was ready to say the words 'Thank you' or something that sounds like utter gratitude, but it was all so shocking. A child...said that I, the Nightmare King, was like a father figure to her? Even I can't believe it. Yet it's staring at me right in the face.

"Pitch...did you really leave because you felt like a monster?" she asked, touching my arm.

I did not want to answer that at all. No. She's not allowed to see inside me. I'm not see through like glass. I smirked and looked at her slyly, "You're touching me an awful lot today, princess."

She blushed and immediately retracted her hand, and she wasn't afraid to show that she was slightly irritated. Probably because I avoided the question.

"It's called comfort, Pitch. And don't change the subject, please," she resorted to that adorable face she made this morning, "I just want to know you. The real you."

I raised a brow, unconvinced. "The real me?" my voice sounded snarky. I didn't mean to.

She looked hurt, "Yes, of course! I care about you, Pitch. You're my friend. This is what friends do!"

Yikes. That was definitely an indication I crossed a line. I took a slow breath before apologizing. She still looked worried and hurt, probably because I wasn't telling her. Didn't I already in the beginning of the day?

...She knew that wasn't the real reasoning behind my disappearing.

I angrily sighed out air as I leaned against the back of the bench and folded my arms. "Fine. I left because I felt like a monster. I felt like I didn't belong because I prey on the weak and every time I am with you guys, that former powerful self of mine is breaking off piece by piece. Henceforth, I felt like a monster and I don't deserve you guys."

"You do, you know."

Again, her response made me look at her, surprised. She sadly smiled, showing the real and reliable care she glowed with for every person she talked to. I bit my tongue to keep me from staring at her too long. Call me a coward all you want...but it's quite challenging to keep eye contact with someone you're finding attractive and you're an open book. You try it next time and see how cowardly and nervous you feel.

"You do deserve us, because we know you do. We like you, Pitch," she said gently, taking my hand in hers, "there's no one in the world who could replace you or we would want besides you. Can't you see how happy you make Sadie and I?"

"...Yes."

Her grip on my hand tightened to prove her point, "Then you do deserve us. Do you think the same way we do about us?"

Without hesitation, I agreed. She seemed very pleased with that, and showed it kindly on her bright smile. That time I couldn't help but give a tiny smile back...one without malice or superiority. The chilly wind against the warm air didn't seem to bother us anymore… the only feelings of warmth I could actually sense was in my hand and my heart.

"I like holding your hand…" I complimented, grinning wider when she shyly smiled back.

"I like holding yours, too. It's cold." she said.

That wasn't a response I was hoping for. "Cold?"

"My hands are always so hot and sweaty, and yours are cooling it off." she laughed, which of course made me laugh.

"If it makes you feel any better, your hands are warm, and that's it."

"Ha!" she laughed again then teasingly winked, "Nothing else? No sparks?"

"Actually, now that you mention it, I've felt a few. But not like regular shocks you get from friction. But...they make my heart jump…" I said, looking at her curiously, "Is that healthy or normal?"

Goodness, she was really red in the face.

"Um...Yes, I guess so." she murmured, tucking hair behind her ear with her free hand.

"Have you felt it, too?" I asked, lowering my head so she could look at me. I missed those beautiful eyes of hers, even if it was only a second's worth of wait.

She smiled shyly once more, shrugging her shoulders. "Yeah...I guess...it's a nice feeling."

"I agree. We should hold hands more often." I winked at her, but that little joke caused her to unravel her hand from mine and gently slap my arm in a playful manner.

I like her...I think I finally know how to properly identify those sparks of warmth and her loving face that morning.

Affection.

#pitch black #pitch black x oc #rotg fandom #rotg fanfiction #rotg fanfic #rise of the guardians #rise of the guardian fanfics #fanfiction #fanfics

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geleenie · 8 years ago

Text

Log: A Journey of a Fangirl

05.17.17

Hello everyone.

I’m writing a post dedicated to seven boys who changed my point of view in every aspect. This might be tiring and I know no one has the patient to finish this but I just want to post and share this for everyone. I’m going to be really thankful if someone will read this.

Please look forward to it.

I’m listening to BTS’ “You Never Walk Alone” album while doing this.

I just want to tell you how much I’m amazed by the group BTS. I’m speaking formally, but I want all of you to know that I’m a very big fan of them – an A.R.M.Y. It’s really amazing how these boys started from the bottom and now they’re getting recognition that they deserve in every part of the world.

As an introduction, let me tell you a story on how I became a fan of them. I actually knew BTS because of my cousin who is a very big KPOP fan and she also introduced me to the KPOP world. At first, she was a fan of both EXO and BTS. While before I was a fan of One Direction, 5 Seconds of Summer, The 1975, and more western bands. I actually used to hate KPOP before (forgive me) because in our country KPOP is has the reputation of being jeje. But anyways, I gave it a try on 2013 I downloaded EXO’s songs – yes I became a fan of EXO first. Once, I even judged a BTS group photo of them wearing school uniforms and they’re like having this photoshoot in a classroom because it was the wallpaper of my cousin’s laptop and I have to use it she even told me ‘forgive me for my wallpaper’ as a joke. Then I had a hiatus with my curiosity.

I think on the start of 2015, I research about EXO and I really liked them – I even went to their concert in 2016. Then, I stalked my cousin and I saw on her bio and it says ‘kim taehyung’ so because of my curiosity I searched ‘kim taehyung’ on Google. A video compilation of Kim Taehyung showed up and the thumbnail of that video was him and Jimin’s “beach? bitch?” (if you know what I’m saying) and I also saw that he was part of the group BTS. I also searched him on Google images and the first thing that I said was “he’s not even handsome why does she like him” (but man, I was wrong) it contains a lot of fetus pictures of him and I think there was a photo of him where he is pouting. After that, I watched the video compilation on Youtube and I admit, I was entertained by him so I watched more videos of BTS. I don’t know what get into me but yeah 2015 was a year of me stanning KPOP. I used to be a loyal EXO-L but as days passed BTS is getting my attention and I didn’t realize that I focused more on them than EXO.

2016, one of my most regretful year because BTS went to our country for 2 times to have a concert and I wasn’t able to attend one. First one was the Epilogue and I really had no money that so I can’t attend the concert. But I can remember that I cried on the day that they came here and saw their airport previews (I came home from school and that’s what I’m going to see lmao). The next concert was the MBC Show Champion concert I think? That time I have the money for a Gen Ad ticket but I was in a real dilemma because I felt like it’s unfair if I just came for BTS and they’re just gonna perform a few songs and I don’t even know the other groups that are going to perform. So I didn’t come.

[~] Let me add something, during the ticket selling of BTS’ TRB concert in Manila it was the same ticket selling for the The 1975’s concert in Manila and I was there during the ticket selling because I will buy a ticket for the The 1975. Before I bought my ticket, there were two girls before me and they were jumping around because they got their tickets and I was wondering what ticket did they buy and I looked at the screen and it says “The Red Bullet tour” with a picture of seven boys in black and then I said to myself “ah it’s KPOP” because I remembered my cousin whaling about it. It’s just a funny story. After all of that – missing Epilogue and Show Champion – I told myself that the next time that BTS would visit our country I MUST ATTEND the concert no matter what.

Around the ber-months of 2016, my bestfriend (who I used to rant about me missing BTS concerts – became a fan of BTS due to reaction videos that she’s watching), and I was so happy about it! It was also that time that the management who manages KPOP in our country is giving us some hints about iponing (saving) and I was like “holy shit this is it, BTS are coming”. So I bought a coin bank and save some money – even the money that I got from Christmas goes straight through in my coin bank. 2017 around February (I think) came and they announced that BTS are having a concert in our country. I was so shook and I don’t even know how to ask permission to my parents since the last time that they give me a money for a concert was at One Direction’s concert which was like 2 years ago and they don’t also know that I’m a fan of BTS so I was in a real state of panic. My mind is like going to explode because I have some money but I want to be closer to BTS especially that I’m waiting for years to see them (I don’t want to be in the Gen Ad section sorry for being ungrateful to this one). Days past and they revealed the seat plan and I don’t really know what to do because my money is just enough for a Gen Ad section and two of my bestfriends are planning to buy an Upper Box A ticket. I know that my father can add more money to my savings, but I was too scared to ask! But a week before the ticket selling, I finally had the guts to ask my father about it because it’s getting really close!

Do you want to know how I asked for permission? Lol, I printed it out on a short bond paper and left it in his room before I go to school since he’s driving me to school he would see it after he drop me off. I was so anxious while I was at our school, my classmates and friends are even wishing me luck. When I got home, I don’t even know but my hands are trembling to see the paper but when I looked at it I screamed because I was so happy that he agreed to it! April 2, it was the day of our graduation and the same as the day of the ticket selling. The ticket selling is at 10 am and our graduation is at 4pm. Around 7am we arrived at the mall and we waited for hours and they finally opened the gates at 10:15AM I was really pissed because of the unfair opening of the gates. My dad told me to go home at 1pm even if I still don’t have a ticket and I was really anxious because it’s been hours at the counter and line is not moving a single inch. But around 12pm a miracle happened and me and my friends got our tickets so we rushed off to go home and had a successful graduation. I actually worked hard to be an annual honor so the concert ticket can be my reward after all of my hardworks since I never asked something from my parents even if I achieve something in school. May 7, 2017 – I finally saw them and it really changed my life.

BTS, an amazing group of seven boys, I know I wasn’t here during the start of the career but I’m very thankful that I knew them. But even as a fan of them for 2 years, you can really see their humble beginnings and their rich success today. You can really see how they worked hard to receive all of their achievements. You can feel their love for the fans to the point that they unite as not just as a fandom but as a family. What’s more important is the passion that I felt after seeing them live. I actually been in a lot of concerts but I never cried so hard before when I attended their concert. During ‘Not today’ I admit I cried a lot even if it’s just the start, but what amazed me is there were some songs that made me cry like my tears would just fall and I would not realize that I was crying especially on their solo songs. One thing that I felt during the concert was the DEDICATION. It’s just WOW! I just realized how fast the concert went by because they were both talking in English and our native language which is really amazing because it was clean and you can see the perseverance that they had to memorize those phrases and words. They didn’t need a translator the whole concert to communicate with us, isn’t that amazing? What I also liked is the unity of the ARMYs inside the arena especially in singing their songs, fanchants, and doing the fan projects. Their amazing talent to perform live also touched my soul.

Moving on (wow this is long), this part is where I’m going to tell you on how much I appreciate the members one by one.

Kim Namjoon

I just want to give applause to this guy. His performance (Reflection) is really heart-touching. How dedicated this guy can be? – from guiding his members, producing songs, his warm words, never forgetting to thank ARMYs, working hard to communicate to other by language, being a leader, and many more. I just can’t believe that someone like you truly exists. Always remember that we’re thankful for you uri, leader-nim! You also have the patience on everything. Your music works are actually a real masterpiece that cannot be destroyed especially that it shows your real passion in this industry. I also want to thank you for being the foundation of the group and without you I cannot imagine what BTS would be.

Kim Seokjin

I am truly thankful for this guy. His patient is really amazing especially when it comes to the maknae line like he always let them tease him even if he’s the eldest one. Thank you for bringing us jokes and for making us laugh through it (let’s be honest here his jokes are not really funny but what’s funny is the way that he’s delivering it), for taking care of six kids and being like their mother in the group, making sure that they eat well, for being also sweet to the fans (I will never forget the ‘mahal kita’ that he wrote on a paper to show us). I also want to praise you for your great visuals, your amazing vocals, and the most important is your willpower on dancing even if it is your weakest point you worked really hard to keep up with the other members despite of the group’s killer choreographies.

Jung Hoseok

A beautiful ray of sunshine. This one really got me during the concert. He was all smiley! Then one second he would turn into a sexy monster. His dancing and vocal skills are really amazing in person! You can really feel his happiness and when he’s there the surrounding’s actually turning into unicorns and sunflowers. As you can see, he’s really one of the most hardworking members in the group – from doing choreographies and teaching the members about the choreography. What I also like about you is you’re never afraid to show you emotions to the fans. He’s also very patient. I really wish for your happiness for a long time ♥ you’re always going to be our hope and angel!

Park Jimin

To our no. 1 mochi, we all know how much you’ve worked hard to take care of every member. You never let someone left out and there were times that you acted like the oldest brother because of your concern to everyone. I hope that you’ll have more confidence on yourself because honey you’re so talented! You never fail to show how grateful you are to every member and you never fail to be support each one of them. Your thoughtfulness melts our heart as well as your beautiful eye smile. Thank you also for showing your love for us, ARMYs!

Jeon jungkook

You really deserve the title of being the ‘golden maknae’ hands down! To the youngest in the group, I really have a lot to say to you. I know how much you care for your hyungs and you don’t want to be a burden on their shoulders. You show how strong you are so your hyungs won’t have to worry and I think it’s very thoughtful of you for the members. I also like your carefree personality. You always show how you worked hard on something. Day by day, you made us realize that you’re no longer the baby Kookie that we used to see but now you’ve grown up as a very manly man. But forever and always you’ll still be the baby in the group!

Min Yoongi

First of all, if Min Yoongi would have his own solo concert I would definitely attend it. If you ever see this guy perform infront of your own eyes, you will never doubt his experience in life and can truly feel every words coming from his mouth are coming from his heart. From being the guy who’s having difficulty to sell his mixtape to a guy who’s now producing songs for himself, the group, and also to other artists. Min Yoongi, you’re really an inspiration to everyone. We all know that you have a tsundere personality and it’s all fine because even if you don’t show it we know how much you love Bangtan and ARMYs. You’ve reached far and became an inspiration to us because you never once gave up to reach for your dreams.

Kim Taehyung

Get ready for this one. To my ultimate bias in the group, to the guy who made me curious and discover about BTS, can I just tell you how much I love you? No one has actually made me feel like this and it sounds really cheesy because you don’t even know me. I just want to tell you the things that I like about you. I like the way you smile, your deep voice, your funny attitude, your fanservice, how true you are to yourself and to the people around you, your seriousness at times, the way you treasure your family, there’s a lot more but I just want you to know that I love every single thing about you. You make my heart flutter by just seeing a photo of you. What more when I saw you live – I can’t believe how unreal you look but you’re just there infront of me even if you can’t see me from the crowd. I waited for a long time to see you and the moment finally came. I know it’s unfair but I really focused a lot on you during the concert because it might be the last chance that I’m going to see you (but I’m hoping not). After the concert and happenings, I really told myself that the next time that I’m going to see you I hope that I won’t be sections away from you but I’m hoping that the stage and the barricades would just be the barrier between us. I hope that the next time that I’m going to take a picture with you it would not be a standee anymore. Am I dreaming too much? But I don’t think it’s not bad to dream big if what you’re aiming for is your inspiration for a long time. I already told you that I love you but I’m pretty sure that you didn’t hear it because I’m just one of those people who told you that in the crowd. But it’s really nice to shout it out while you were infront of me. I hope that I can tell that to you in person even if you would just take it from me as a fan. I hope that I can thank you how much you’ve changed my life in a better way. Thank you for introducing me to BTS. I love you. I wish for your endless happiness, healthy life and a bright future for you and the boys.

All in all, thank you BANGTAN SONYEONDAN for touching our hearts with your hardworks. It’s definitely worth it to be destined as your fan because you never disappoint us. You deserve the recognition that you’re getting from your music, your bond as a group, focus and courage. I also want to thank the roots of this group, BANG PD-nim and of course to the staffs who are always taking care of boy – to Big Hit Entertainment. I wish for your long-time success. Now back to the boys, please don’t stop on giving your best and please live happily because that’s what we really want for you. Don’t also forget to be healthy at all times! Please don’t listen to the people who are hating on you and questioning your success because they don’t even know what you guys went through to achieve what you are now.

Lastly, in my journey as a fangirl I want to give a shoutout to my supportive bestfriends – 7H. To my childhood bestfriend, Ysa. To Zoe, because she’s also my main fam. Of course, to Happee Sy who managed BTS’ concert in our country. I’m really thankful for her because she made it possible for us to see BTS and even gave us hints about it so we can save some money beforehand. To my ever supporting parents you da best!!

All in all, BTS and to the people who I encountered through this journey, I salute you!

Yours truly,

Geleen

#bts #bangtan #bangtan boys #kim seokjin #min yoongi #kim namjoon #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #rap monster #j-hope #suga #jin #fangirl #kpop

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ahmerjohnny-blog · 7 years ago

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Best Whatsapp Status

https://latestquoteswala.com/best-whatsapp-status/

Best Whatsapp Status

Best Whatsapp Status is a tremendous way to explicit your self. It is an expression, written especially and in a particular way to expose one’s views, thoughts, and feelings in an innovative fashion. Best Whatsapp Status shows how uniquely and ingeniously you could put your thoughts into words. Updating fame on WhatsApp or changing it every now and then clearly defines your way of residing existence or manner towards lifestyles. Besides this, updating reputation is notion-upsetting and is simply a fun, if you are able to control it smartly and effectively. There are special varieties of Best Whatsapp Status that you possibly can use, as in line with their comfort or mood.

Cool Whatsapp Status Quotes

I didn’t change, I just grew up. You should try it once.

I love buying new things but I hate spending money.

I’m not arguing, I’m simply tried to explaining why I’m Right.

I’m jealous my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs.

I don’t have an attitude problem, I just have a personality that you can’t handle. (Best Whatsapp Status)

We all are born to die, don’t feel more special than me.

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my WhatsApp status…

The Earth without “Art” is just “Eh”.

I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes CLOSED.

God is really creative, I mean ..just look at me.

I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.

Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.

I don’t care what people think or say about me, I was not born on this earth to please everybody.

Check: Meaningful Quotes And Meaningful Sayings About Life

I stopped fighting with my inner demons. We are on the same side now. (Best Whatsapp Status)

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.

I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

I’m in desperate need of a 6-month vacation… twice a year.

I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

I’ve found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money so that I can buy the ingredients?

Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday.

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.

I like to hang out with people that make me forget to look at my phone.

Funny Whatsapp Status Quotes

I Wonder What Happens When Doctor’s Wife Eats An Apple A Day…

Life is Short – Chat Fast!

Doing nothing is a very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.

People that Change Love status after 30 Sec… GF is the Reason…

A book-store is only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking. (Best Whatsapp Status)

My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death..!!

Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

If College has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking 🙂

The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.

Light travels faster than sound…that’s why people appear bright until they speak

I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

Read: Top Cute Boyfriend Quotes And Sayings

80% of boys have girlfriends. Rest 20% are having a brain.

Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.

I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is “Salary is Credited”. (Best Whatsapp Status)

My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.

I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them.

I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.

You can never buy Love… But still, you have to pay for it…

Whoever says “Good Morning” on Monday’s deserves to get slapped.

C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping. (Best Whatsapp Status)

Running away does not help you with your problems unless you are fat.

If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.

Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.

I used to like my neighbors until they put a password on their Wi-Fi…

Best Whatsapp Status Ever

The family is a haven in a heartless world.

I believe the world is one big family, and we need to help each other.

Family makes you who you are and aren’t.

The love of a family is life’s greatest blessing.

The family knows your flaws but loves you anyway.

One-sided expectations can mentally destroy you.

I love you..more than you’ll ever know.

You are my favorite Daydream. (Best Whatsapp Status)

Do an act of kindness. Help one person smile.

A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.

Trust me I am a liar.

You are the keeper of my heart…

It’s fun being a kid. (Best Whatsapp Status)

Time is precious. Waste it wisely

Good night my friend.I wish you sweet dreams and peaceful night.

Good Morning wishing you a day full of joyful moments.

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Every day is a second chance.

Check: Cute Love Quotes For Her Amazing Collection

Try and fail, but don’t fail to try.

Friction is a drag.

Status loading……

How to write my status?

Scratch Here to see my status.

Not always “Available”.. try your Luck…

I will win, Not immediately But Definitely.’

Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.

You cannot stop the waves but you can learn to surf.

If you want to make your dreams come true, The first thing you have to do is wake up. (Best Whatsapp Status)

The greatest advantage of speaking the truth is that you don’t have to remember what you said.

I am not failed… My success is just postponed.

Nothing is over until you stop trying.

Hey, there WhatsApp is using me.

I don’t care how poor a man is; if he has a family, he’s rich. One day you will do things for me that you hate. That is what it means to be family.

Short Status For Whatsapp

Remember: someone is happy with less than you have.

Every new day is another chance to change your life.

Control Your Anger. It is One Letter Away From Danger.

Face your problems don’t Facebook your problems.

Love is like war. Easy to begin but very hard to stop.

When you see a person without a smile, give them yours.

Everything begins with an idea.

Friendship exists but real is rare.

Love is precious if your love is your family.

I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all once…

We loved with a love that was more than love.

Love conquers all.

Love is real, real is love. (Best Whatsapp Status)

We accept the love we think we deserve.

Come live in my heart and pay no rent.

We were together. I forget the rest.

Love is the greatest refreshment in life.

Read: Adventure Quotes

There is no remedy for love but to love more.

Love is a great beautifier.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

I sustain myself with the love of family.

A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another.

You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.

The family is not an important thing, it’s everything. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.

The family is one of nature’s masterpieces.

The family is the most important thing in the world.

A happy family is but an earlier heaven.

The family is what works. (Best Whatsapp Status)

Love has no age, no limit, and no death.

I am pretty confident that you can make it.Good luck

Wow, who knew life could be this amazing…

If you never try, you’ll never know.

No one knows what he can do until he tries.

Love your enemies.It’ll confuse them.

While there’s life, there’s HOPE.

Don’t be afraid of fear let it be afraid of you.

Whatsapp Status Attitude

You can never buy Love… But still, you have to pay for it.

Totally available!! Please disturb me!!

I need Six months of vacation, Twice a year

Time, you can’t keep it, but you can spend it.

Good friends are like stars. you don t always see them. but you know they are there! (Best Whatsapp Status)

If you ever lose my trust, you probably will never get it back.

I am sorry for doing wrong…

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.

Every act of kindness benefits the giver, as well as the receiver.

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.

To be kind is good. To be kind without expecting anything in return is better. (Best Whatsapp Status)

A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve.

No one has ever become poor by giving.

Read: Sad Whatsapp Status

Never lose a chance of saying a kind word.

I believe in you so much. I hope you do too. Good luck!

The best friend is someone who loves you when you forget to love yourself.

Speak only when you feel your words are better than silence!

I’m not lazy, I’m just in my energy saving mode.

Life’s greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved.

If you can’t admit when you’re wrong, you’ll never learn from your mistakes. (Best Whatsapp Status)

I Feel I’m missing, something in my life these days.

I’m sick and tired of being strong…

Hello, where are you guys… I am still here

I am always with you… good night friends.

Friendship doubles your joy & divides your sorrow.

I keep missing you, simply because I love you.

No one is perfect understanding is important!

Best Whatsapp Love Status

Strength is nothing more than how well we hide the pain.

Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.

To love and be loved is the great happiness of existence.

Don’t lose hope. When the sun goes down, the stars come out.

Stand up for what is right. Even if you are standing alone.

Love can make you do things that you never thought possible.

Without you, I have nothing. But with you, I have everything.

A meaningful silence is always better than meaningless words.

Love is a state of mind which has nothing to do with the mind.

My life isn’t perfect, but it does have perfect moments. (Best Whatsapp Status)

Live your every day of life like its the last day of your life.

Failure is always temporary, only giving up makes it permanent.

Nothing is IMPOSSIBLE, The word itself says I’M POSSIBLE.

Impossible only means you haven’t found the solution yet.

Check: Happy Birthday Wishes

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

If you cannot solve it, it is not a problem, It’s reality.

Let’s tell our families and friends how much we love them.

Every new day gives new things and there we create new memories.

Trust is like paper once crumpled it can never be perfect again.

Be patient. The lessons you learn today will benefit you tomorrow.

Forgive others, if you want to be forgiven in your critical times.

God gives gives gives and forgives. People get get get and forget.

Some lessons can’t be taught, they simply have to be learned.

The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

It’s amazing how few pictures can bring back so many memories.

If you don’t understand my silence, how will you understand my words?

Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.

Best Whatsapp Status Collection

Knowledge will give you power, but character respect.

Where words fail, music speaks.

I love you yesterday I love you still, I always have…. I always will

Hope you feel a little better every day.

Your friendship is priceless & precious to me.

Don’t settle for good. Demand Great!

I can’t see my self without you.

Sorry means nothing without the actions to back it up

No, I am not okay? I miss you. (Best Whatsapp Status)

Love in Life, Make the life beautiful…

My children are a blessing and they make my life worth living!

I am always with you…good night

I’d like my mornings better if my mornings started with you.

Father is the one who sacrifices everything for the happiness of his child.

Read: Happy Birthday Messages

I was reminded that my blood type is Be Positive.

We are born of love; Love is our mother.

People come and go…the best will stay.

I’m thankful for every moment.

I’m not perfect, I am original.

Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my status.

All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make, the better.

Time is the coin of life. Only you can determine how it will be spent.

Pretty words are not always true and true words are not always pretty. (Best Whatsapp Status)

Acting is a total physical, emotional sensation.

During last 5 minutes of examination, every student gets a supernatural power.

The greatest remedy for anger is the delay.

We cannot command Nature except by obeying her.

There is no limit to the power of loving.

I shut my eyes in order to see.

Sadly, it’s much easier to create a desert than a forest.

Smile in the mirror. Do that every morning and you’ll start to see a big difference in your life.

Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.

New Best Whatsapp Status

You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.

Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.

Choose to be happy.

Diets are hard because I get hungry.

To talk without thinking first is just like to shoot without aiming…

Freedom is not a license to do everything…

Am quitting Facebook to face my books.

When people expect you to fail, prove them wrong.

He stole my heart… So, I stole his last name.

You never understand it until you experience it.

When words fail, tears speak.

Life is not a bed of red roses

The best way to die is to live.

Life is Short – Talk Fast!

Life is Short – Chat Fast!

Love never fails. We fail to love.

Life is simple if we are simple.

Dreamlike there is no tomorrow.

You may delay, but time will not.

Check This: Mindfulness Quotes

I wish I have a friend like me.

I’m soo poor… I can’t even pay attention

Sleeping to forget some things..!!

Getting angry doesn’t solve Anything. (Best Whatsapp Status)

Well Done Is Better Than Well Said…

I’m missing something in my life these days

They ignore you until they need you

My silence is just another word for pain

Keep smiling and forget the sadness.

I’m invisible until someone needs me.

Smile and no one will see how broken you are inside.

If it still hurts, you still care..!!

Honesty is the best gift you can give.

Why is it so EASY to fail but so HARD to SUCCEED?

I am in a relationship with studies and it’s complicated.

The goal of education is to replace an empty mind with an open mind.

An My dream is to be your dream.

Sometimes you just need to maintain a distance to keep them close to you.

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