#anyway he looks good who's surprised
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hello????? cody with stubble?????????? x
#cody wwe#nightmare cody#I've never seen this before#a few months ago I swore he looked like he had some stubble on the show but I thought maybe I was just seeing things#anyway he looks good who's surprised#fic notes
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If I was in a lucid dream with a ghost, I would simply impress them with my blunt rolling skills
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#mdzs au#MDZS disco elysium au#This is brought to you by my Scrambled Egg brain - slowly burning up as I try to finish a long comic for this AU.#I hoped it would be done several days ago but I've changed things so many times....It is now Very Close to being done!#I probably should have just posted each page daily but at this point I'm just being stubborn. I want it complete and together.#Ruining the surprise a bit to say 'yeah its a digital art comic'#But its been tricky figuring out the style I want to use for it!#hence the swaths of MSpain(t) doodles that boil down to 'how would this look if I did X?'#I wanted to do a fully Black & White Ink style. But I scrapped it. Then I did small bits of colour. And scrapped it. Sigh.#This comic started out as just the first panel and then my brain went 'hold on. Its time to make a dumb joke'#Any disco elysium fans who finished the game probably know the scene I'm doing for the *actual* comic after seeing this <3#Anyways I know in my heart LWJ would roll the worst blunts ever his first time. And then dedicate himself to the rolling craft-#-until he has finally mastered it. He would roll blunts so good that people would hire him and pay him a monthly salary for it.#But he declines. His master blunts are for his beloved and his beloved alone.#wwx would roll above average but after having lwj do it for him he can ever go back.
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HoO is so funny to me when you actually think about the ages of all the characters. Octavian is 18. Percy and Annabeth are 16, almost 17. Reyna is presumably 16. Frank just turned 16, Jason’s about to turn 16. Leo and Piper are like 15. Hazel’s like 14 and a half, and Nico is 13.
The Death Sibs are both the youngest and oldest on the Argo II. Octavian is a college freshman getting into petty drama with a bunch of high schoolers. He gets told to shut up at one point by a random 8th grader. Everyone is scared of the 8th grader. We Sent A 13 Year Old To Superhell and he came back weirder, Just Like Middle School. TLH was just three high school sophomores being sent to do a task and it going Exactly Like You’d Expect. Percy’s the only demigod on the ship who can legally drive (though Reyna gets her drivers license at some point before TOA). What Is Happening.
#pjo#hoo#heroes of olympus#riordanverse#my second favorite thing related to this is like every time Hazel references someone's age especially in SoN it's just. blatantly incorrect.#she goes into very specific detail about how she's 14. detailing like exactly how many months it had been since her birthday#and when she died and when she was brought back. just like ''okay. im 14 and a half. got that? good.''#''anyways here's Frank. he's 3 years older than me'' like literal next chapter. we are told Frank is not 3 years older than her.#Hazel: Here's my older brother! [Nico is younger than her in literally every way feasible]#ive just decided Hazel is an unreliable narrator who is just really bad at guessing/remembering how old people are#which like. adhd mood. forgetting how old everybody is.#and she has the bonus excuse of saying her sense of time is skewed from being a ghost for so long#but it's just so funny every time she's just. with the upmost confidence. blatantly the wrong answer.#i want a scene of Hazel looking at Percy and just going ''hm. I bet he's like 20.'' and then learns he's 16#and she's just [surprised pikachu]#also we know it isn't an error that she's 14 cause in TOA she's like ''oh yeah im learning to drive!''#so she's 15 by then#it is however an error that *Nico* is said to be 14 in hoo cause he's 12 in TLO and 14 in TOA#but we know in HoO the reason that error was made was cause Rick hadn't figured out Nico's birthday yet#and he was flipping it between January or March#so he just forgot how old Nico is for a series and then we went back to normal
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↳ ꜰꜰxɪᴠ — ᴅᴇᴛᴀɪʟꜱ + ᴅʀᴀʜᴍ ᴋᴏʜʀ
ᴅʀᴀʜᴍ ᴋᴏʜʀ (ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴇᴄʜᴏ) ɪꜱ ᴀ ᴅʀᴀᴠᴀɴɪᴀɴ ᴡʏᴠᴇʀɴ ᴏꜰ ɴɪᴅʜᴏɢɢ'ꜱ ʙʀᴏᴏᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀᴍᴇʀ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅʀᴀᴠᴀɴɪᴀɴ ʜᴏʀᴅᴇ, ꜱᴘɪʀɪᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ʙᴏɴᴅᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʀɪᴅᴇʀ ʀᴏᴜᴠᴀꜱᴛʀᴇ ᴅᴇ ʟᴇᴜᴠᴇᴄʜɪᴇʀ ꜰᴏʟʟᴏᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅʀᴀɢᴏɴꜱᴏɴɢ ᴡᴀʀ. ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴜᴄᴄᴇꜱꜱᴏʀ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴏᴜʟ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴᴡɪʟʟɪɴɢʟʏ ꜱᴜʙᴊᴜɢᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴅʀᴀɢᴏɴ ᴏꜱᴋʜ ꜱᴛʀᴀʜ, ꜱʜᴇ ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪʟʟɪɴɢ ꜱᴏᴜʀᴄᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴅʀᴀɢᴏᴏɴ ᴀʙɪʟɪᴇꜱ ꜰᴏʟʟᴏᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛᴇᴘꜱ ᴏꜰ ꜰᴀɪᴛʜ. ꜱʜᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ɪɴᴛᴇɢʀᴀʟ ᴀꜱ ᴀɪʀ ꜱᴜᴘᴘᴏʀᴛ ᴅᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴅᴏᴍᴀ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇꜰᴇᴀᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀɪᴍᴀʟ ꜱʜɪɴʀʏᴜ ᴅᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀʟᴀ ᴍʜɪɢᴏ, ꜱᴜᴘᴘᴏʀᴛ ᴀɢᴀɪɴꜱᴛ ɪᴍᴘᴇʀɪᴀʟ ꜰᴏʀᴄᴇꜱ ᴀꜱ ᴡᴇʟʟ ᴀꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇꜱᴄᴜᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴀɢᴇɴᴛꜱ ʜɪᴇɴ ʀɪᴊɪɴ ᴀɴᴅ ʟʏꜱᴇ ʜᴇxᴛ ᴅᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʜɪᴍʟʏᴛ ᴅᴀʀᴋ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇꜰᴇᴀᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀɪᴍᴀʟ ʟᴜɴᴀʀ ʙᴀʜᴀᴍᴜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴇᴍᴘᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴛᴇʟᴏᴘʜᴇʀᴏɪ ꜰᴏʀᴄᴇꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴇʟᴘ ᴏꜰ ᴛɪᴀᴍᴀᴛ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀꜱꜱᴀᴜʟᴛ ᴏɴ ᴢᴏʟᴍ'ᴀᴋ, ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴡɪꜰᴛ ᴅɪꜱᴛʀɪʙᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴜᴘᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴇʀɪᴀʟ ʀᴇᴄᴏɴɴᴀɪꜱꜱᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴏʀᴢᴇᴀɴ ᴀʟʟɪᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴅᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴀʀʟᴇᴍᴀʟᴅ ᴏꜰꜰᴇɴꜱɪᴠᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴡɪꜰᴛʟʏ ᴛʀᴀɴꜱᴘᴏʀᴛɪɴɢ ᴇꜱᴛɪɴɪᴇɴ ᴠᴀʀʟɪɴᴇᴀᴜ ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ ᴀʟᴅᴇɴᴀʀᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴀʀʟᴇᴍᴀʟᴅ ʙʏ ᴀɪʀ ᴅᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ɪɴꜰɪʟᴛʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ɢᴀʀʟᴇᴍᴀʟᴅ. ꜰᴏʟʟᴏᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴜʟᴛɪᴍᴀ ᴛʜᴜʟᴇ, ꜱʜᴇ ʜᴀꜱ ᴍᴇᴛᴀᴍᴏʀᴘʜᴏꜱᴇᴅ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴀɴ ᴀʟᴛᴇʀᴇᴅ ꜰᴏʀᴍ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴ ᴇʟᴅᴇʀ ᴡʏᴠᴇʀɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪꜱ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴀᴅᴀᴘᴛᴇᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍᴀɴᴇᴜᴠᴇʀᴀʙɪʟɪᴛʏ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀɪʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴄᴏᴍꜰᴏʀᴛᴀʙʟʏ ᴄᴀʀʀʏ ᴀ ʀɪᴅᴇʀ ᴜᴘᴏɴ ʜᴇʀ ʙᴀᴄᴋ.
#FFXIV#FF14#Final Fantasy XIV#spoilers#major spoilers#Final Fantasy 14#ffxivedit#Warrior of Light#WoL#Dravanian#oc: rouvastre#long post#hello surprise loreset...........#anyways for the people I don't rant at in DMs.#Drahm Kohr is Rouvastre's best friend / combat ally for everything past Nid.hogg's death. She replaces the dragon inside their job stone#so if Rouvastre goes somewhere she can't follow (ie. Norv.randt) he has no DRG abilities and has to use smth else#They're emulating the pre-DSW dragoons and thus are dragon-and-rider in mutual support.#they have a magical bond that has them share most sensation.#in-game she's the wyvern mount - I use a Vedr.foldnir model swap + a custom colouring#she looks like the base wyvern until post-EW when she metamorphoses into an elder wyvern w/ physical features better suited#for carrying and working with a rider long-term!#during ShB when she's lonely and bored bc her favourite little guy is off dying in Norv.randt for half a year or w/e she flies Esti.nien#to Garlemald and back for smth to do and he's still the only other person who has ridden on her back other than Rouvastre#she's ex-Horde and lot of her and Rouvy's bond is learning to be people outside of the war despite how much it has shaped you.#I forgot to sleep alright good night
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For everyone who wanted bullfighter Nando when I mentioned it the other day, here you go :D
+ this one I don't feel like coloring yet(imagine he's in Ferrari colors!!!)
#did you know bullfighters dedicate their kill to a friend or member of the public by giving them their hat?#i really wanted to draw silly vettonso where fernando offers seb his hat#seb retires from bullfighting(yeah its an au now) and fernando in his green costume is like;#'here is my hat. now will you come back from retirement? 🥺'#but yeah feel very abnormal abt that ^ and also the thing abt them having someone who helps them get into their costume as a sacred ritual#theres just a lot of thoughts and ideas floating around in my head bcs of it#anyways i liked drawing this but it was very suffering too and took me like 5 hours#its like. you see the intricate embroidery and im like ah! omg! i love painting details!!!#and then remember im not the best w coming up with ideas for the embroidery pattern itself#so pls bear with me 😭😭 mainly i was trying to reference the diamond logo of renault#but most of it kinda just ended up being austrian knots i guess bcs thats what my mind defaults to#i thought the shoulder pad would be the most difficult but that came together the easiest and made the rest actually work in my head#aaahhh also im surprised w the angle of his face! im usually not good at side profiles as well as tilted down heads#but i think he looks pretty good honestly???#also w the sketch i just wanted to post it bcs i liked his face okay 😭😭😭#i wanted to paint it too but I realized im so naive thinking i could paint two of these horrifically detailed things in one session#but his face 🥹🥹 i like it!!! theres some renault era pic of him i really like where hes sun drenched and angry looking#^ and i think i captured the vibe well so!!!!!#well anyways mayhe ill draw more of this. it was fun but also like sucked my life force out bcs it kept going from easy to 'I CANT DO THIS'#the pictures of matadors are just...insane to me. tiny waist fat ass flamboyant costume. im dead 🫠#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#catie.art.#fa14#matador au
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DEAD BY DAYLIGHT
↳ Favourite Killers
#dead by daylight#dead by daylight edit#dbd#dbd edit#dbdedit#my edits#gamingedit#gamingnetwork#dailygaming#horrorofgames#horroredit#horror games#idk if this is a surprise but my main is pinhead#hes my sweet cheese my good time boy my lil pin cushion king of hell i love him#i always thought he looked cool when he came to dbd and then i thought recently hey i love horror lets watch his actual film#one thing to say: not enough pinstripe#but i loved it and im currently tryna find hellraiser 4 somewhere so i can watch it#and then the maining of pinwheel began#anyway beyond pin me thru the phone i only play demo and deathslinger! but its rare tbh im a nervous killer so i stick to who i know#everyone else i just love them/played them at some point over the years#apart from dredge/artist i dont actually have them but i adore their lore and design and power!!#also sidenote if i played deathslinger MORE best believe id buy a sweet skin but its not worth the money atm :(((
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So I put on this netflix show, in their tradition of being extremely obvious with names its called Mech Cadets, and its an alien-mecha human-pilot fight-the-giant-bug-aliens story. My first complaint is that the alien mechas are called Robo's. Wow exciting /sarcasm. Anyway thats totally forgiven because 1 the story actually makes choices and puts the characters through consequences instead of like hinting at oh it something bad gonna happen psych we dont have the guts for that. Its a kid/teen show so its not super dark but it follows through and goes the places it needs to.
2, and maybe most importantly, I gotta talk about the disability rep. There's four teens chosen by the alien mechs to be their drift-compatible pilots (I think im using that correctly? Im not super informed on the genre but I know some), and we see straight away that one of the guys has a prosthetic leg from the thigh down, and uses it as an example to tell the main protagonist, hey none of us are perfect we dont have to be perfect we just need to be human. The next episode the mechas are given human-designed weapons to fight with, and the disabled kid gets these flippy sticks I cant quite work out. One of them gets a staff, the other gets this glove for punching, story moves on. Then a bug-alien-antagonist gets into the teens dorm and while fighting it, the alien dismembers the guys prosthetic. He immediately grabs his crutches and goes to town on it with his crutches, and balancing on them to kick with his one good foot*. Then they disconnect the rest of the prosthetic and use its sharp edge to kill the alien. And then he just moves around on his crutches with no comment and Ill cut myself off there so I dont spoil the whole thing.
Except, a couple episodes later, Im watching him in the mech fighting and moving around, and I realise that his giant fuck-off monster attacking weapons ARE A PAIR OF CRUTCHES. Theyre his fucking WEAPONS. Thats cool as fuck!
#is it mech and not mecha and im making a fool of myself? I just cant quite bear to call them Robos im sorry#Mech Cadets#Theres more nice stuff about the disability rep but I want to leave some surprises for y'all when you watch it#The animation is ok theres one character who's face sometimes looks a bit plastic and moves a bit janky imho but otherwise its alright#I also definitely want more about the robos as people because theyre intelligent but theyre also a bit treated like machines#and not sentient beings#but they clearly are sentient#theres definitely themes happening about how alive they are but its not properly dug into yet. if they get a second season I definitely wan#more on them#like why did they just show up to earth to partner with people and fight the bug aliens? where are they from? whats their motivation?#but in a I want more world building way not in a wow this is shit world building way#anyway#mine#disability rep#disability representation#its got some really fun vibes#*his one foot. he doesnt have a good foot and a bad foot he just has a foot. getting him mixed in my head with Kaz Brekker and his cane
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#okay but reading this Belloc essay on Austen really made something click in my mind#and it’s because of something he said#which is that women care more about what men think of them generally#(as a general rule. not all the time. etc.)#and men care more about the opinion of the one woman they care about#like women do care (as a first instinct at least) what every man she meets thinks of her#but men are mostly indifferent. until they’re NOT.#which makes women more vulnerable to a greater number of people#but men are MORE painfully vulnerable to the woman whose opinion they care about#and I don’t actually know that that vulnerability only extends to a woman they are attracted to/feel romantic feelings for#I think if they just think well of you as a person you (a woman) have a lot of power over them#which is sooooo interesting and makes so much sense!!!! and is something I’ve sort of been dancing around with teaching#like. a lot of the boys I teach come to care about what I think about them#which doesn’t mean they all have a crush on me. though that step can be super easy and super small#hence the need for the boundaries of steel etc. but it does mean that they care what I think about them!#and I’ve always felt that instinctively and felt that I had to be so gentle with them because the power to crush them is mine if I so choose#don’t let me overstate it. it doesn’t happen all the time or anything close to it. but the thing about me being a teacher is that#they are forced to know me not just in a surface-level way. simply because I spend so much time with them#and talk to them a lot!#ANYWAY. enough about me but yeah this hit me so hard and of course exceptions exist#and/or endless variations on this exist because people are unique and surprising and also everything is changing all the time#etc. etc. but there is something to this I think! and you know what#it’s so interesting because that base-level instinct for women (allowing it to be a thing I mean) can be grown out of#I have trained myself out of/maturity has helped me leave behind that immediate female instinct#of being hurt at the idea that this random waiter (for example) is indifferent towards me. I’ve come to accept it#the instinct is still there!!! because imo women are always scanning and searching and sizing up. and also we are so open to being won over#if that makes sense? which is why insta comments complaining about how only good looking men get away with things like. PLEASE.#there are so many medium-ugly men who get married. it’s the average because the average woman is prettier than the average man#(this is not an insult) women CAN be and usually are so open to being surprised. won over. moved by the simple fact that a guy likes them#and men are not like that. but my point is: men don’t grow out of caring if they care. when they care they care sooooooo much. anyways yeah
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priest: i don't, ah, quite know what to say to you. if you are in such terrible danger, why are you taking it all so calmly? constantine: hmh! i dunno, father. i had a bloke beaten to a pulp earlier this evening. that sound calm to you? priest: you did what...? constantine: i must've been off me bleedin' rocker. i've never done anything like it before in me life, y'know?
constantine: but there's header gets his guts blown out, and george is stickin' his head in the noose, and helen gets ... jesus, then friggin' sarah bites me head off — ! everything's coming to bits in me hands and it's so easy to just see red and now, shit, they could've killed the tosser for all i know! and now i'm just like the bastards i've hated all me life! kill him! fire him! close them down! piss all over him! screw you, i can do whatever i want! i so much as blink and you're dead, pal! i'm in charge!! ...
constantine: 'scuse me, father. i'm always like this when i don't get me own way. — hellblazer #81, "rake at the gates of hell pt. 4"
babygirl you are just....so, sooooo offputting. (and grieving, and guilty, and terrified, but yeah: offputting.)
anyway, it's issues like this one that remind me why i kind of hesitate over some of the retcons in the recent spurrier runs, like the one with him now having opened dream's pouch of sand and stolen some before they even met. because like, it's easy enough to look at john constantine now — with 70 years of worst possible choices and unresolved trauma crystallizing underneath his skin to cover up all the soft, hopeful bits where he's used to getting hit — and assign him arbiter of ill intentions, magus of wasted potential, saint of shit choices, but man . . . he was new to this, once. he was still new to this 80 issues in.
80 issues in, and he's not used to losing friends yet; he even has time enough between catastrophes to grieve each individual one. still has enough left to live for at this stage to necessitate running and hiding, instead of bodily throwing himself at the problem like he learns to later, or sitting apathetically by to do nothing except smoke and watch the world fall apart when he finally gives up. fuck, he still apologizes.
and you're telling me this guy, this soppy wet cat motherfucker hiding from the devil in a church basement, so guilty over not knowing what happened to the guy that he paid people (paid chas, so chas could pay people) to attack that the bottle he's holding in this scene isn't even his second or third........this guy's past, more innocent self lied right to the face of DREAM OF THE ENDLESS and got away with it?
hm. i just don't know about all that.
#also this is where my headcanons tag is from <3#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#( visage. ) AND I'M A BASTARD.#( character study. ) A WALKING PLAGUE OF A MAN.#sometimes i just think that. people really like to reduce constantine down to one or two things#and somehow. after 250 issues of putting his life on the line bc he could never really make himself look away from people suffering#the soft sullen guilty person who wants so fucking desperately to be a better man? is never one of those two things#idk man. i think about this issue all the time#if i put these pages side-by-side with his grief in hellblazer 2? with his grief in hellblazer 213? 215? during the empathy virus arc?#it becomes CRYSTAL clear that the guy we know at the end of hellblazer isn't someone the guy who sat vigil for gary lester would recognize#in fact i think he's someone that hellblazer 81 constantine would fucking Hate#ANYway yeah. i don't think he lied to dream about the pouch. i don't think he ever got it open. i don't think that's canon for me#i want him to fucking Earn his asshole nature. the hard way. by making All The Wrong Choices that it took to get him there#he paved that road with good intentions himself but. he also used to remember the ones he started with#idk if i'm making sense but i have had this panel open on my laptop for Two Months now#bc i can never stop thinking about how fucking crushed he is here to realize that he might be exactly as bad a man as sarah said he was#and how little it will surprise him later on to learn that he is Easily capable of So Much Fuckin Worse#and with that your honor the defense rests. our evidence? just. just Look at this fuckin guy#scopophobia /#scopophobia#eye contact /#eye contact tw
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there's such a huge debate on whether or not dazai is a good person and the only right answer is: he's not. dazai holds a record of 138 counts of conspiracy to murder, 312 counts of extortion, and 625 counts of assorted fraud, amongst other assorted crimes that he isn't listed for. he will sacrifice whomever necessary to get what he wants. he's prone to violence, takes pleasure in the pain of others he doesn't care for, was the port mafia's last resort if a captive/hostage wouldn't provide the information they wanted (kouyou was terrified of him in this regard, mori knew that it within the line of succession one day dazai would take him out to sit in his seat + he hoped for this in the way he shaped him). dazai is not a good person, and if he had stayed within the port mafia's ranks he would have only ruined himself further where "good" is concerned, but the argument is made that within the ada he makes good choices, and if not good they are better choices, but they're conscious choices, not the ones that come most naturally to him. out of a kept promise, out of a need for direction that oda gave him in telling dazai to "be the person that helps people".
#like you'd be surprised the debates you see in chats and on twitter lmao like the answer is staring you in the face: no#just because a character has joined the “good side” does not make them good ... dazai is still the same person he was in the port mafia#he just consciously chooses to be different and to take different paths#you look at his mentorship over akutagawa and i have a whole other meta on that + how the cycle of abuse stems#from mori to dazai to akutgawa to kyouka (you cannot pretend akutagawa is not guilty of this but you have to ask where did he learn it#from? dazai. and then in turn who did dazai learn this from? mori) but he makes the choice not to follow that same pattern with atsushi#because in making these different choices he sees the outcome of them much more plainly than when he existed within his decisions#and the atmosphere that shaped them.#anyway dazai post 574364 i guess#abuse /
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when jane's powers return in season four (and because they were regained by her confronting and accepting her past, rather than being retraumatised with it!) they're stronger than they ever were. when she starts getting a handle back on them, she very quickly comes to realise not only have they affected her, but her mother, too. one of the biggest losses that came about with her losing them was the fact that she could no longer visit terry in the void; while there was no real communication there, it did allow jane to sit with her, and gain a little more connection than she could in the real world. when she first visits the void after their return, it takes her three hours to find terry, something that is both unexpected and incredibly worrying. but when she does, it's something of a miracle. jane's increased strength and control over the void actually wakes terry up from her catatonic state, but only in the void. there's no way to help her mother physically, but she does do so (unbeknownst to her) mentally. terry is reborn in jane's newfound control over the vale of shadows; she becomes the woman she once was, and while her body remains frozen in a "good dream", her mind connected to jane's own allows her some freedom. jane is able to speak to her mother in the void, is able to be held by her, and while it's still unfair and jane cannot stay in there forever, it's something. this only lasts for about eight months, as each visit slowly begins deteriorating terry's physical and mental state, and jane's health begins declining after spending hours upon hours in the void each and every day.
when jane finds out these visits are actually killing her mother on the outside, she deems to stop, but terry expresses the importance of them being able to speak, that she'd prefer to die on the outside, if it meant she could have just a few months with her daughter like this. terry and jane's connection was always so strong, which ultimately led to terry "waking up" in the void, but even jane's newfound strength cannot save her from the harsh realities. each visit nearing the end of those eight months, terry fades more and more, becomes weaker in the void, and her real body eventually gives up. jane's in the void when her mother eventually passes on, and physically feels their connection weaken, like some part of her suddenly becomes lost in the shadows, a part she'll never find again. jane falls into a depressive state for weeks after her mother's death, given she's technically lost her a second time, but soon comes to realise she was lucky to have even shared those eight months together. it was better than nothing at all. there is a proper burial and funeral, (and when jane dies, she's buried next to her mother) which allows jane some sense of closure. she never fully recovers from losing terry, nor from the fact that she never had a proper relationship with her, but she does eventually find some peace with it all.
#study‚ in my dreams it's all real and my heart has so much to reveal.#IF U SAW ME POSTING THIS YESTERDAY. no u didn't.#i wanted to change things again (who is surprised!!) and decided to just rewrite it all rip.#me taking a few weeks off from this blog and then coming back with a brand new terry / jane hc? more likely than u think.#purely self indulgent too i might add!#every day i battle with making my terry portrayal canon to jane's timeline so jane can have her mother in every verse not just#selected ones.#but. her not having her mother is ultimately important to my writing of her and sfjasfjas >:( hate myself for it.#so here be a brand new addition to my timeline that gives jane SOME time with her mother!!! bc i need it for my mental health.#i imagine when terry dies her body turns to smoke in the void. almost like what happened to billy when jane was spying on him.#and he stopped her connection and faded in front of her.#and jane also visited terry a lot in the void because it allowed her to see more memories of her mother.#i hc that she had a real grasp on that before s3 when she looks into billy's memories.#terry (even in her catatonic state) WANTED jane to see what happened to her in hawkins lab.#so she'd want her to see the good stuff too. her childhood. andrew. her grandmother that raised her and becky.#all the good memories!#so when terry dies jane loses all that completely.#which leads to jane grappling with the conflict of whether or not she should have kept visiting terry in the void which eventually led to#her death.#because if she hadn't connected to her. she'd at least be able to look back on all those memories.#jane becomes obsessed within those months and barely speaks to anyone else.#in any free time she has. she's in the void with terry.#her own physical body grows very weak after a little while but she pays no attention to it and even gets into heated arguments with becky.#because becky is jane's carer and needs her safe and healthy. needs to look after her.#but jane is so adamant about the fact that this is her MOTHER and she's finally able to speak to her.#UGH i have so much to say abt this actually i sense a brand new addition to my timeline coming on.#ANYWAY. i'm emotional about them that is all.
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Now why would my dad, this cishet construction worker pushing 60 who spend his life watching only action movies and the occasional comedy movie, suddenly got VERY into mostly romantic K-dramas ??
#the sudden shift in his interest in media is so funny to witness#I've watched a bunch with him. so far:#the one where the main guy is italian. vicenzo? it was hilarious but why did they spend an entire ep dedidacted to homophobia#sweet home. first season excellent the other two. well. no comments#ummm what else. my fav ones were extraordinary attorney woo the writing was soso good and accurate rep of autistic ppl#according to what I've read from autistic people who watched it#also the glory!!!! that one was also crazy good i loved how her revenge was never framed as a bad thing#OH and another one i loved was the kingdom. the final episodes all being a long zombie fighting sequence and the prince and his people being#progressively caked with blood. poetic cinema etc etc#uhh i also watched a short romance one with him I can't recall very well. kind of mystical? about a sorcerer that had like. a shop or smth#two more period pieces: mr queen which was also excellent!! it surprised me bc i thought it'd be comedy only? the genuine gayness of it all!#and v well written as well! a modern guy who was a misogynist echanges bodies with a queen of the past and he not only learns to what's like#to be a woman but also realizes he's bi as he falls for the king? and cries when he goes back to the future bc they broke apart??#who did it like them!!! mr queen tv show your gay subtext was too strong they had to kill you!!!#I'm currently watching the king's affection which is also like pretty gay? we'll see#anyways back to my dad i was like oh (abt the king's affection) this is a period piece right? looks interesting and he was like actually#*puffes chest* it's set in the joseon era 😌 he was SO proud of correcting me sjsjsjd#nacido para ser kpoper condenado a ser un hombre cishet maquinista de grua de casi 60#woa this post got. long lmao#z
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gruxime makes me a little insaneeeee esp from maximes perspective cus its like. damn. a hell of my own creation.
#like even outside of shipping or w/e if maxime hadnt embarrassed gru at homecoming they cld have been friends. more even#meeeee when im miserably unhappy in my group of friends trying to live up to something i can never be#instead of being myself w ppl who get it#it does make me smile that they seem to be on good terms at the end of 4 and makes me think that like. maybe gru never rllyyyy hated him..?#like to maxime it was world ending catastrophe but gru likes destroying ppls will to live for fun even as a kid#autism to autism communication… FAILED.#undecided on if gru wld have liked maxime back or not. at least in canon#ummmm. i think it cld be possible. but in a weird confused rivarly kinda way#like maxime is so bad at giving mixed signals that gru genuinely cant tell if he likes him or wants him dead for ages#like when ppl go ‘oooh hes just being mean cus he likes u’ but like. genuinely#um kind of a tangent but my thoughts for gru at lpb is that he mostly keeps to himself and doesnt rlly have any friends#but he dgaf (effect of literally never having had anyone close to him b4)#in comparison to maxime who is all abt cliques and surrounded by ppl …. but still alone 😔💔#i do think some of maximes friends wld be actually nice tho. like in the same position as him#everybodys just trying to fit in. u know#anyways i think gru wld spend 99% of his time either alone or chilling w the minions#but its just nicer for him to mostly be left alone instead of bullied by like. the whole school#btwwwww interesting that when maxime mocks him at the reunion 1. everyone laughs and 2. gru looks surprised that everyone laughs#like hm damn maybe having crazy popularity and connections pays off. Damn.#he doesnt seem to be bullied while actually at the school as ppl cheer for him at the show#i think this is maybe a byproduct of gru being considered a failed villain in the current day#HEY BTW i thought it was a littleeee strange that gru being an avl agent isnt like. common knowledge among villains. seems like big news#that wld have leaked somehow. but idk maybe he got lucky or the avl covered it up#but damn after the reunion they DEFINIETLY all know. cld be an interesting setup to dm5 [blinks cutely]#lol. anyways. my thoughts
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happy bsd season 4 day
#gonna put a buncha spoiler in the tags so i'll tag for that#bsd spoilers#bungou stray dogs#bsd season 4#i am SO happy we're getting untold origins#i haven't read it before so im really excited to experience it for the first time#tbh i was terrified it was gonna be stormbringer with the way people were talking about it#not that i wouldn't be absolutely ecstatic if it was but let's be real theres no way 3 eps could do stormbringer justice#so far i feel like the pacing is fine i've seen people complain about it being too fast but#from the perspective of someone who hasn't read untold origins it seems relatively on pace#i'm definitely gonna read it now though#anyways!!#fukuzawa immediately being forced to adopt ranpo is both hilarious and adorable he's such a good dad#and little tiny 15 year old odasaku!!!#i've seen people make parallels between how he looked at 15 and how dazai looked and tbh i definitely see it#i wasn't expecting to see him so that was a pleasant surprise#i can't wait to get to the main story though i miss babygirl poe#homegrown bsd post
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everyone is sooo in love with vakori on account of le is so cool and smart and deeply pragmatic and is also completely batshit insane
#oc#monochrome#sketch#velan#vakori#rocaim#rocaim and vakori are rex and taz and adder and silas's parents#adder and silas get their looks from vakori; rex and taz to a slightly lesser degree get it from rocaim#rex specifically is like a sharper clone of him. fucks velan up all the time because their personalities are completely totally different#rocaim was very like. gentle and understanding. good with kids and well-liked by basically everyone. a very effective mediator#rex is obviously none of those things lmao. every time he says something particularly insensitive it surprises her for like six years runni#anyway rocaim is in love wtih vakori. velan is in love with vakori. vakori is aro as they come but insanely pragmatic#like. ok le's based loosely off my ex. like. so le's SCARY pragmatic. so fucking cool about it everyone with a brain is specifically like#'woag oh my god le's so pragmatic im in love with her'. anyway eventually le's like 'hi rocaim. here are the objective reasons that i think#that if we got married it would mean i had better standing and more power in the organization we're both committed to. would you be#opposed to possibly getting married with me on the grounds that it would get me respect and power' and rocaim. who is already head over#heels for ler specifically because le makes these kinds of decisions and sees with this kind of logic is like. Absolutely. 100%#then for the next four years of their formal engagement people keep taking rocaim aside and being like hey... i have bad news...#...that leya you're engaged to... le's not romantically interested in you the same way you're romantically interested in ler... le only#wants you because you're an Ath and le wants a voice in the interclan meetsings... and then when Rocaim is like yeah i know#thats why i want to marry ler isnt that like the sexiest fucking reasoning you've EVER heard. no one gets it but velan#who is also in love with ler for the same reasons but has no such claims to power#and who also is not equipped for a polycule nor willing to try to go behind rocaim's back because unfortunately for her. she is also in lov#with rocaim. me when im in love with my friend and my friend's wife and also i'm pretty sure they both reciprocate but they're both#married and i dont really know what to do about it and also all three of us are very Traditional and that is not the Tradition:#and then they both die and she never quite deals with that.#but she DOES get to raise their (surviving) kids :) most of whom are fucking nightmares#life is so difficult for velan. like actually#closerverse#cv
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finished dante's campaign of dmc2!! it was bad!!! <3 and i can't tell if it's anticlimactic or a surprising show of mercy that it only took around 4 hours
#and a notable amount of that was me bumblefucking around so#look i need to reiterate that i am not a hater for the most part. that's not who i am. However---#i'm kind of surprised that it managed to have even less of a plot than dmc1 bc that's a low bar. neither game prioritized the story and i'm#honestly fine with that y'know? so long as the game's fun it doesn't matter that much to me#which is not a problem for dmc1!! the aesthetic the monster designs the general game feel is all there. dmc1 rules#dmc2 actually has some pretty good monster designs imo. like there's things to like about dmc2 it's just all the stuff that takes some extr#time to notice. as opposed to the blaring unavoidably shitty gameplay that you notice far faster and more often#anyway im about to go play lucia's campaign i guess. so. look forward to me complaining more probably#also the way i HOWLED when lucia started repeating trish's lines... YOU CAN'T JUST MAKE THE Devils Never Cry SCENE TWICE GUYS#IT'S REALLY OBVIOIUS#dmc#dmc2#sigh. also i got blue eye stared by dante at least once and i thought that was funny. he kinda looks like a bald eagle head-on#like he's pretty but. screee
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