#anyway have u ever been touch starved? me 2
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brainrotfm Ā· 11 months ago
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the world put you in front of me and we aligned
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pairing: ryomen sukuna x reader
word count: ~1.5k
short description: the king of curses has never been asked for comfort before, but that doesn't mean he won't indulge you.
notes: no beta barely edited probably ooc; no content warnings just the fluffiest lil thing you'll ever get from me, mwah! manga credit used for header image [nsfw, 18+]!
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"Tell me what you need, little one, while I still feel patient."
"Well I-I... I don't know how to ask for that," you reply sheepishly, ducking your head to hide the flush that was starting to prickle across your cheeks at your own discomfort. Two fingers caught your chin, evading your retreat into yourself, tilting doe eyes back into the intense, scarlet-hot gaze of the man towering over you still, not one to back away from an uncomfortable situation so easily.
"Use your words, brat," Sukuna purrs cheekily in return, gravelly and low but warm like molasses, trying to lure you out of whatever self-conscious spiral he was watching you fall into - it wouldn't work. Not when he was willing and able to catch you.
The way he touched you, the way he looked at you, the way he spoke to you: it would sound silly if you tried to say it out loud, but there was no other word that came to mind but reverence. Utter devotion or nothing at all, there was no in between with someone like him. Were you projecting? Did the passion between you two feel too good to be true, not because of him, but because of you?
Because you couldn't handle being seen by him, could you?
It wasn't easy, but it was familiar; you didn't, couldn't, ask for help, because you didn't have the vocabulary to explain what you needed help with, exactly. No one could snap their fingers and make all your problems go away; if they could, you wouldn't ask for that, because a charmed life had no real value. And yet... no matter what you said, there was an unflappable feeling in your gut that Sukuna would scorch the earth to give you whatever you desired, the closest thing to a god you may ever see.
"I just want you to hold me," and the words sounded silly as soon as they left your mouth. He was a CURSE for god's sake, or at least, he was one. By all accounts, he was a monster, a being of the lowest morale, and there was nothing that would make him to succumb to the petty whims of the human he just so happened to have a dalliance with. A blip on his cosmic radar, a temporary satisfaction in an endless lifetime. He didn't have the time to waste, the capacity to care, the attachment to give --
Except as soon as the words left your mouth, the smallest of smirks twitched the sides of his lips. As always, you yielded when given a command, and he was always filled with a silent pride by your willingness to succumb for him. Without a word, Sukuna scooped you from the couch bridal-style, earning him a startled yip that turned his smile wider. You felt the echo of his chuckle rumble deep in his chest as he carried you into the bedroom, a protest on your lips that this isn't what you meant, not everything was a code for sex... "Sukuna, I..."
The complaint died in your throat though, not having time to manifest as you squeaked instead; Sukuna had kneed his way onto the bed, still not dropping you as he set his back against the headboard and gingerly, with all the tenderness in the world, set you down across his lap. It would've brought tears to your eyes, if you hadn't been so bewildered by this side of your lover, one who got you both off thanks to his penchant for sadism, but this time...
This time, he used his immense reach to grab the comforter, pulling it over your bodies. This time, he used the hand still wrapped around your back, propping you up, to begin tucking in the seams of the blanket, bounding you tightly against him. This time, the heat of your combined body warmth overpowered your cyclone spin of anxiety. This time, his free hand came up to cup your cheek for a moment, looking into your watery, hazy hues before placing the most delicate kiss against your forehead. This time, you would even call him chaste, not a word you ever imagined using in reference to Sukuna. This time, he looked for nothing more, wordlessly pulling your face into his chest as the arm around your back tightened its hold. This time, he really did just... just hold you.
It was too much.
By the time your cheek had pressed against heat of his skin, you were a goner. Maybe you were just that obvious - maybe he saw how pathetic and hopeless you felt, and knew that no amount of his usual teasing would cajole you out of your reverie. You're not sure he could feel sadness; you're not really sure he ever had, but you appreciated this act of softness from him. (He could, though rarely, and he did, though oftentimes only because of you, or in this case, for you). Shaking like a leaf in the wind, you curled as far into him as you possibly could, and with a heave, an onslaught of tears began to leave your body like the damn had broken at the end of a wet summer.
Where did he learn comfort like this? A large palm rested against your lower back, splayed open and anchoring you to his lap, not letting you budge an inch, even if you wanted to. His other hand had curled around the side of your neck to its nape, pressing you against him, silently insisting you stay as near to him as possible, to ride out whatever anxiety had taken you so far from him tonight. He would wait. You had only asked to be held, so he remained silently, trying not to focus on the way your pathetic little hiccups would make his heart squeeze, or why the white-hot lick of anger curled beneath his skin at seeing you in this state.
The more you succumbed to your sadness, though, the worse it seemed to get; the riptide of emotion had grabbed you by the ankle and sought to drown you in its depths tonight. Sukuna noticed immediately when your breaths had grown panicked and short, hiccups faltering into staccato sobs, and your heart began hammering out of rhythm with his own.
No, no, that would not do. You were supposed to be soothed. You couldn't see his brow furrow sullenly, confusion flickering behind maroon eyes, a sound akin to a growl unfurling in his chest. His exasperation with your befuddling human emotions was short-lived. The growing rumble in his chest had finally moored all your senses to the same shore, grounding you in tandem with the anchor points of physical touch.
Once he realized you liked it - and he should've realized you'd like it, you often enjoyed his primal sounds in other scenarios, too - well, of course he continued, your emotional fulfillment his main concern at the moment.
You must be dreaming. That was the only thought in your head as your hiccups waned into pitiful sniffles, doe eyes sore and half-lidded in the shelter of Sukuna's chest. "R-ryo...?" you managed to bleat, softer than he'd ever heard his name on your lips before, and the use of his first name had your lover purring again with a low timbre hum, giving your entire form an encouraging squeeze to signify his attention.
"Don't go... please, don't go," you whined, barely above a whisper, and something in chest shattered at your unwillingness to be without him, now that you had let him in to that tightly locked room he'd call your heart. If he had thought dominating your physical body had been pleasurable, there was an absolute intoxication that came from you being this kind of vulnerable with him; where he had always assumed he'd feel disgust, he felt a dizzying delight in pacifying you this way, still a dance of your bodies, just with different choreography than he'd ever known before.
"Oh, little one," the king of curses assuaged in a tone of equal measure, his whisper husked as he ducked to kiss your forehead again, reveling in the enchanting sigh he earned from you at such a simple affection. With that, he began to rustle you into place for sleep, more delicately than he'd ever handled you before; though, it could be noted that he was still a selfish man, and didn't give you any room to move or curl away from him, intent to keep you tucked against his chest for the rest of time if it meant witnessing you like this, at your most docile.
Your pretty face was folded into the juncture where his chest met his neck, and he could feel your breathing settle into dreamy sighs, comforted and cared for exactly the way you'd asked, so trustful that you would dare to sleep in his presence, the sweetest of lambs curled up and comfortable in the middle of the lion's den. He could kill you, right there. He would kill for you, right then.
"There is nowhere I could go that I could not take you," Sukuna promised softly into the darkness of your room, hoping you'd hear his promise in your dreams. Now that he knew this, he never wanted to know anything again.
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taglist: @hercskid @sinlillith @marusatonanhin @kentohours @tzuyuswife @yuujispinkhair @luckyracco @forresway @briannafdez10 @vadersassistant @maximumcherryblossomface
disclaimer: i do not consent to my original writing being fed to ai. please do not repost/redistribute. reblogs help original writing reach a wider audience.
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stevebabey Ā· 2 years ago
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Steve hates to ask this of Eddie.
Really, itā€™s a last resort sort of thing. Robinā€™s gone for the week, some trip upstate with her family. And itā€™s fine, theyā€™re close but Steveā€™s a big boy. He can handle a week without his best friend.
But, well, itā€™s just unfortunate for it to creep up on Steve when Robinā€™s gone. It beingā€¦ shit, how did Robin explain it? She was so much better at keeping track of all those things than he was, all the terms filed away nicely in her head to be recalled as needed. Steveā€™s much messierā€” in his head, in his life.
Touch aversion, thatā€™s what she called it. A by-product of the severe lack of touch in his childhood she had said; not enough hugs, hand holding, the works and now Steveā€™s grown to find it too strange. Something prickles under his skin, pulls in his gut all the wrong way, when someoneā€™s too touchy-feely with him. Robinā€™s said itā€™s normal, and he believes her.
It just makes it harder when this comes by. That completely strange backward want that carves into his chest, creating a chasm that just aches. Suddenly, Steve wants to be touched, needs to be touched ļæ½ļæ½ like something behind his ribs is just begging for comfort in the form of touch, any way he can have it. Like some young part of him can still remember the hunger he had for it and it comes back in full force, a tender wound between his lungs.
It doesnā€™t happen that often ā€” though, itā€™s more frequent than ever recently ā€” but usually, Robinā€™s here. She can almost always tell before Steve works up the courage to ask. Twitchy fingers give him away. He hovers closer than normal, shoulders brushing more often.
She always gives him a smile, softer than her usual snark and says, ā€œCā€™mere, dingus.ā€ and stands on her tip-toes to envelope him in a hug. Steve canā€™t help but sink into it, gripping her close around the waist for as long as he needs until the hole in his chest feels a step closer to patching up.
Robin also tells him he can have as many hugs as heā€™d like but Steve is firm with himself; he only needs one, then heā€™ll be back to fine.
It whatā€™s he needs now. One really fucking good hug. Still, he hates to ask, least of all from Eddie, because, wellā€” okay, Steve has no reason to assume Eddie wouldnā€™t give him a hug.
Heā€™s seen Eddieā€™s hugs before. Like everything he does, Eddie puts his everything into it- he hugs Robin til she wheezes, loves to lift Nancy off the ground, and the hug he gives Dustin is sweetest of all, a hand on the back of the littlerā€™s head while he does some strange little sway. Dustin always laughs, playfully shoving him away by the end but Steve knows he loves them, that it helps in more than one way.
Steve is glad that Dustin has someone, besides his Mom of course, who can hug him, because Steve canā€™t give that to him. Maybe one day, but for now, hugs from Steve are a rarity ā€” few and far in between. Maybe, he thinks, he doesnā€™t want to ask Eddie specifically because of that niggling feeling that comes up around Eddie, all gooey and soft. A feeling the swings too close to a crush that Steve has no fucking clue what to do about.
So, he hates to ask. Really. On the drive over to Eddieā€™s, a hangout organised before Steve started to feel the lack of touch creep in, he runs through any other options. Wait til Robin gets back? Steveā€™s not sure heā€™ll make it another 4 days. When left alone, it seems to consume him and make everything harder, everything heavier to deal with.
Heā€™s still tossing it when he climbs the steps to Eddieā€™s trailer. Steve decides that heā€™ll see how it goes, see if thereā€™s an opening to askā€¦semi-naturally or something. Heā€™s not gonna spring it on the guy.
Eddie is wonderful company as always, devilish grins and god-awful comments about the film he picked. Steve feeds off it, drinking in the infectious energy. He tries to let it be enough; their shoulders pressed together, Eddieā€™s knee knocking his when he laughs, the way Eddie leans into his space to whisper even though itā€™s just them here tonight. Steve wants it to be enough. But even then, he can see the way his hands twitch in his lap, desperate for more.
Steve closes his eyes. Curls his hands up so tightly his nails bite into the skin. He tries to use it to wane off the feeling, the ache that sings out for Eddie beside him and it nearly works. Untilā€”
ā€œSteve? Yā€™okay?ā€ Eddieā€™s voice pipes up, making Steve open his eyes in an instant.
ā€œHm?ā€ Steve hums, hoping that his casualness will be enough for Eddie to skip over his peculiar behaviour. He blinks, tilting his head just a bit to show he was confused why Eddie was asking.
Eddie chuckles lightly, gesturing towards Steveā€™s lap, where his hands sit still clenched, white knuckled with his self-restraint. ā€œYou seem a bit stiff, thatā€™s all.ā€ Eddie rechecks. ā€œYou good?ā€
Steve opens his mouth and then closes it, forcing his hands to unclench in his lap. ā€œI-ā€œ he begins, then stops, unsure of what he was going to say. He did say he would look for an opening tonight. The way Eddieā€™s regarding him, open faced with his concern, is as good as he might get.
ā€œThis might sound a bit weird,ā€ Steve starts, defensiveness already tingeing the words, his shoulders curling in just a bit. Eddie could say no. Heā€™s allowed to say no. Steve really doesnā€™t want him to. ā€œLike, if you think itā€™s weird, thatā€™s totally fine and we can just, like, forget I said anything andā€”ā€
ā€œSteve.ā€ Eddie cuts him off, a linger of an amused smile on his lips. ā€œI donā€™t think Iā€™m going to find anything you say weird, sweetheart. Shoot. Whatā€™s on your mind? What troubles the great mind of Steve Harrington?ā€
God, itā€™s like a whole bunch of words designed to set Steveā€™s head spinning. ā€˜The great mind of Steve Harringtonā€™ makes him want to scoff. ā€˜Sweetheartā€™ makes him want to swoon. He canā€™t decide which one he wants to do more.
ā€œCan I-ā€ Steve stammers, the words halting automatically. Itā€™s too much of a habit to swallow them down. Coercing them out takes more work. He stares up at the ceiling as he grits his teeth, releases a harsh sigh, pulling himself together. ā€œCan Iā€¦ have a hug?ā€
There a moment of silence and Steve holds his breath.
ā€œOh,ā€ Eddie breathes, and Steve takes his eyes off the ceiling to see just what that Oh means. Eddieā€™s smiling, a soft one gracing his pretty mouth, and Steve thinks, maybe, one day heā€™ll have the courage to ask for a kiss as well. Relief moves sluggishly through his veinsā€” Eddieā€™s smiling, this is good.
ā€œWell, of course,ā€ Eddie grins widely and opens his arms, inviting Steve in. Steve hesitates for only a moment before he leans in gratefully, his arms tucking around Eddieā€™s midriff tightly. Eddieā€™s arms curl around Steveā€™s neck, pulling him in close. Itā€™s the easiest thing in the world, sinking into it, so much that Steve tries his best not to immediately slump against Eddie. It feels a bit too pathetic, so Steve reels himself in. He canā€™t make his arms relax, trying too hard to take only what he needs and not a moment more.
ā€œCā€™mon, Stevie.ā€ Eddieā€™s voice teases beside his ear, his breath warm. ā€œYou call that a hug?ā€
He squeezes Steve a little tighter, pulling him even closer and Steve canā€™t help the way he melts into itā€” he slumps, leaning against Eddie properly and burying his quiet whine of relief into the juncture between Eddie's neck and shoulder.
ā€œThere we go,ā€ Eddie murmurs comfortingly.
Eddie takes him wholly, gives a damn good Munson hug, all warmth and comfort. He smells like, well, Eddie ā€” a lingering scent of weed, something musky, something Eddie. His arms around Steveā€™s neck shuffle and Steve worries heā€™s trying to pull away so soon, only for one of his hands to tangle in the hair at the nape of Steveā€™s neck. He combs through, light fingernails scratching at Steveā€™s scalp and shit, Steve really canā€™t control the noise of contentment that slips out his throat.
ā€œCanā€™t believe you got so worked up just to ask for a hug,ā€ Eddie tsks, tone coloured in disbelief. Steve makes a noise of protest, trying for a moment to wind it all back in but, like Eddie can sense it, heā€™s squeezing him tighter again. He begins to rock them, a soft sway side to side that lets Steve lean on him even more. He hums a tune Steve doesnā€™t know, low and soft.
ā€œMā€™sorry,ā€ Steve mumbles in reply, though heā€™s not entirely sure what heā€™s apologising for. For having to ask, for taking so much, for enjoying Eddieā€™s arms around him just a little too much.
ā€œWhat the fuck for?ā€ Eddie laughs lightly, one of his hands beginning to drum against the divots of Steveā€™s spin. It feels like heā€™s tapping pure delirium with each fingertip, shivers that make Steveā€™s chest glow terribly warm. It feels good, so good to be held and honestly, Steve could stay here all night if Eddie let him. Knowing Eddie, he would, because heā€™s that fucking nice.
That knowledge alone forces Steve to sit himself up, extracting him limbs even though so much of him mourns the warmth, the touch, that goes with it. He wants the touch but heā€™s had enough. Some scorned part of him burns bitterly to think Eddie would give him more just to be nice. Steve doesnā€™t want thatā€” Steve wants Eddie to touch him because he wants to.
ā€œSorry, man, I just, uh, get like that sometimes.ā€ Steve feels the need to explain, bringing a hand up to rub at one of his eyes. He does it half so can hide his embarrassed expression from Eddieā€” whoā€™s looking at him so gently and still so so close.
ā€œJust, ahaā€”ā€œ Christ, it wasnā€™t this awkward telling Robin. Steveā€™s hand moves to rub the back of his neck. ā€œSometimes I realise itā€™s been awhile since,ā€ He gnaws on his bottom lip, something alike to humiliation curling in his gut. ā€œSince Iā€™ve had some touch. Usually, Robinā€™s around but yā€™know.ā€
He waves a hand, huffing another awkward laugh. Eddie hasnā€™t moved much, just listening intently, his brows ever so slightly inching closer together. He looks outright concerned at Steveā€™s next words.
ā€œItā€™s okay, Iā€™veā€” Iā€™ll be good now.ā€ Steve nods along, like the motion will help him convince himself as well as Eddie. Heā€™ll be okay now. Usually, one hug is all it takes. He ignores the surging tidal-wave want that is still going, still aching to be held by Eddie again. It would be selfish to ask for more. Eddie didnā€™t invite him around to hugā€” itā€™s weird, and Steve shouldnā€™t- canā€™t ask for more.
ā€œSooooo,ā€ Eddie draws out the word, an impish smile beginning to play at the corners of his lips. He opens his arms wide again. ā€œYou donā€™t want another hug?ā€
In his lap, Steveā€™s fingers twitch. Eddieā€™s eyes dart to them for a second, before fixing back on Steve. He does, he really fucking does want another hug. He canā€™t. Heā€™s had enough, really, it would greedy to have more.
Steve shakes his head, forces himself to huff another laugh that accidentally comes out as a strained sigh. He smiles weakly, ā€œNo, no, Iā€™m good, dude. Itā€™sā€¦ Iā€™m okay, swear.ā€
For a moment, Steve thinks heā€™s convinced him. Eddie studies his face, his mischief slipping away as he deliberates Steveā€™s words. His eyes narrow, arms dropping just an inch before he smiles brightly and says, ā€œOkay, can I have a hug then?ā€
Which, okay, right, Steve didnā€™t think of that. People donā€™t ask him for hugs. He blinks, a bit dumbly. Eddie is waiting, face eager and for a second thereā€™s an expression of almost smugness on his face ā€” like heā€™s about to get exactly what he wants. Because he knows Steve would never be rude and say no.
ā€œI mean,ā€ Steve breathes, voice a bit tighter than heā€™s expecting. He clears his throat. ā€œYeah, yeah, you can have a hug.ā€
ā€œGreat!ā€ Eddie replies and he wastes no time. Heā€™s all up in Steveā€™s space, arms around Steveā€™s waist this time. The motion takes Steve by surprise, enough that because heā€™s not expecting it Eddieā€™s weight pushes him back so heā€™s lying on the couch.
If Eddie cares, he pays no mind, his head curling up into the crook of Steveā€™s neck as he hugs him closer. His hair gets in Steveā€™s mouth, making him splutter for a second, but Eddie just grins, wriggling closer until theyā€™re pressed firmly against each other. Steve would go as far as to say this is closer to cuddling than a hug, with Eddie squishing him from above, his arms around Steveā€™s middle.
ā€œJust so you know,ā€ Eddieā€™s voice rumbles from where their chests are touching, his breath sweeping across Steveā€™s neck. Steve shivers without meaning to, feels Eddieā€™s responding grin even as he continues. ā€œAll hugs requested by me are automatically 10 minutes long. Hope youā€™re okay with that, sweetheart.ā€
Steve isnā€™t stupid ā€” he knows Eddie is doing it for him, doing it because he could see right through Steveā€™s stupid facade, had peered his yawning hunger for touch right in the face and hadnā€™t blanched. Instead of feeling tricked or fooled, Steve just feelsā€¦warm. Comfortable. He works his arms around Eddieā€™s neck til their more comfortable and find the courage in him scrape his fingers through Eddieā€™s hairā€” like he had done to Steve. Eddieā€™s sighs sweetly and Steve thinks he could listen to that noise forever.
ā€œIā€™mā€¦ Iā€™m okay with that.ā€ Steve murmurs lowly, yet he knows Eddie can hear him. Eddie noses closer, a borderline nuzzle against his neck, and further down, one his hands starts to stroke softly up and down Steveā€™s ribs.
Steve canā€™t help the way it makes him freeze, the breath in his lungs holding tight as he tries to relax, tries to ignore the prickly feeling under his skin. Itā€™s a lot. A lot of touch that Steve just isnā€™t used to just yet, even if he desperately craves it.
ā€œRelax,ā€ Eddie whispers into his skin, a soft instruction paired with the motion, one soothing stroke up and down his ribs. Steve pushes the breath in his lungs out, forces the tension out of his body, trusts that Eddie wouldnā€™t be offeringā€” wouldnā€™t tell him to relax if he wasnā€™t allowed to.
ā€œThatā€™s it.ā€ Eddie praises, feeling the body beneath him settle and sink a little lower into the couch. ā€œNow, watch the movie.ā€ Eddie instructs, jutting at the still playing screen with his chin. Steve laughs a bit, but obeys, turning his head to see what part theyā€™d gotten up to. Theyā€™d missed a big chunk in their hug. Steve nearly apologises for it, the words on the tip of his tongue, before he decides Eddie might smack him for it.
So, he doesnā€™t. He watches the film, letā€™s the gentle touch of Eddie on his skin relax him til sleepiness starts to fill each of his limbs, heavy like lead. Eddieā€™s hand stops moving eventually, when his breath gets heavier, lulled by Steveā€™s scratch in his hair. A snore starts up, loud and quite frankly, annoying, and yet, Steve finds that with Eddieā€™s arms around him, he has no trouble finding sleep.
Itā€™s the first time in years Steveā€™s fallen asleep in someone elseā€™s arms. And even if he doesn't know it yet, itā€™s certainly not the last.
now with a part two!
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redzie02 Ā· 6 months ago
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Jongho is starving for your touch and demands your attention
jongho drabble. previous jongho fic
warnings: none/ jongho is baby bear af/ clingy jongho propaganda/ domestic vibes masterlist
Imagine, you got home a few hours ago. The first thing you did was rid yourself of your work clothes in exchange for comfier ones. A loose fitting tee- that you stole from your boyfriend- and some shorts.
The dishes that were left in the sink after breakfast that morning were quickly washed. Floors swept, tables wiped down. Everything was clean and you were free. Free to do what, exactly? Nothing.
Throwing your body onto the couch, you let out a breath, covering your legs with the plush blanket that was gifted to you many years ago.
You scroll through your texts, replying to any you might've missed while cleaning. You spot a few from Jongho.
2:30 pm jongieā™”: i miss you. i wanna go home
2:31 pm jongieā™”: hongjoong extended practice :(
2:40 pm jongieā™”: helloooooo
2:45 pm jongieā™”: hello :(
2:49 pm jongieā™”: we leave at 3, u better answer me then :(
It was now 2:59 pm. Your lips tugged downward as you read the messages- you shouldn't have silenced your notifications. Idiot mistake. You were about to type until you saw three little dots appear on the screen. You waited for his text.
3 pm jongieā™”: heading home now! ...are u there
You replied.
my y/n: yes! sorry i didnt see your texts earlier, bear :(
jongieā™”: did you die
my y/n: no lol i was cleaning. are u tired? hungry?
jongieā™”: tired, yes
jongieā™”: hungry, not yet. had some snacks :) got u a croissant
my y/n: UGH I LOVE YOU <3 see u when u get here jongie
jongieā™”: u only love me cuz i bring u food :(
my y/n: yes :) now hurry
You scrolled through various apps, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere of your dimly lit apartment while you waited for Jongho.
It only took 15 minutes before three quick taps from the door interrupted your scrolling. You opened the door only to be engulfed by a pair of strong arms. You beamed into Jongho's chest. "Hi bear."
Still clutching you in his arms, he walked you backward into the apartment, kicking the door closed with his foot. With his head buried into your neck, he inhaled. "Mmm, you smell so good. Why do you always smell so good?"
"Maybe it's cause I steal your body wash." He chuckled. "You, however, smell like you've been dancing for eight hours."
Jongho lifted his head with disbelief written all over his face. "You can forget about the croissant."
"Wait! What I meant to say was that you should get comfortable and you know, put on some fresh clothes and we can relax together while I eat the croissant my amazing, beautiful boyfriend bought me." You fluttered your eyelashes at him. He had a soft spot for you and you knew that. He almost never says no to you.
Jongho sighed and let go of you to reach into his messenger bag. He feigned reluctance as he passed you the brown paper bag containing the freshly baked croissant. "Here. I'll be back."
"Thank you, baby," you pulled him in for a soft kiss, pressing your lips onto his warm ones. His shoulders relaxed under your touch- tension he didn't even realize he held. He almost whimpered at the feeling, sighing into your mouth. He really did miss you. Jongho just about crumbled when you pulled away, heading back to the couch. "I'll be here."
He groaned but trudged himself to your shared bedroom anyway, grabbing clean clothes, and hopping into the shower soon after.
It was the quickest he had ever showered, not wanting to waste any more time without you in his arms. Yet when he returned to the living room, you had barely even glanced his way. You didn't even comment on his wet hair that you liked so much because you thought it was cute.
Jongho was disappointed, to say the least. Sure, you were here, but all your attention had been taken up by your stupid screen. Oh, how he envied the little device in your hand.
With an audible exhale, he lifted your legs, placed them over his lap, then plopped down on the couch. Your croissant was nowhere to be seen, devoured in a matter of seconds, he assumed. Besides the few tiktoks you had showed him, he sat there, staring at the ceiling. His fingers danced up and down your legs. He massaged your calf. His hands snuck their way up to knead at your soft thighs. He even tickled your foot, but nothing seemed to avert your eyes from your phone.
Jongho puffed his cheeks and blew the air out, bored and frustrated out of his mind. All he wanted was you. All he could think about was being wrapped in your embrace, feeling your body heat mixing with his. It made his skin itch with need.
He sat up suddenly. "Do you hear that?"
You locked your phone, listening for anything that may have been out of the ordinary. "What?" You sat up, a little frightened. "I donā€™t hear anything."
"Exactly. When was the last time we were alone like this? We have the rest of today and tomorrow to ourselves."
"Jongho, you scared me! I thought someone was breaking in or something," you clutched your chest whilst Jongho laughed at your melodrama. You attempted to poke his sides with your foot, but he caught your ankle. "Not funny," you whined. "What do you wanna do?"
"Iā€™m not sure. What are you up for?" Satisfied he caught your attention, he brought your leg up, placing a gentle kiss on your ankle.
"Welp, as of right now? Absolutely nothing." You stretched and let out an ahh and shifted your gaze back to your phone.
Jongho frowned and leaned forward, snatching your phone and stuffing it between the cushions.
ā€œHey!ā€
"Itā€™s just me and you and all you wanna do is use your phone! What about me?" His bottom lip jutted out further than before and his eyes were round and shiny.
You would take a picture if your phone wasnā€™t being squished in the couch.
You held your arms out for him. "Come here."
He tossed one of your legs over his side and settled himself between them, his head now resting on your shoulder. His damp hair lightly grazed your neck, sending shivers down your spine. You threaded your fingers through his dark locks.
"I miss you," he softly spoke.
"I'm right here, baby. I'm sorry I wasn't giving you my attention."
"It's okay, I know- just...hold me." And you did. You wrapped your legs around him and held him as tightly as you could to your body. Tender kisses were placed on his forehead. Your hands refused to settle as they roamed his arms, his back, his face. You felt Jongho's breathing slow down, letting you know that he was falling asleep. You remembered he hadn't eaten dinner, so you gently tapped him a few times.
"Jongho, don't fall asleep, I have to make you dinner."
"No, don't let go. This feels too good." He only snuggled his face deeper between your neck and shoulder, squishing his lips against your skin.
"You have to eat, bear. You've only had what? Breakfast and snacks all day? After hours of practicing the choreos? I love you and I won't let you starve."
"I'd rather starve then let go. I've needed this all day." His words vibrated against your skin, hardly coherent, but you understood nonetheless.
"It'll be quick, I promise, yeah? How does pasta sound?"
He hummed and nodded, slowly getting up. Exhaustion had etched itself onto his face and it made your heart cry out. Before heading towards the kitchen, you leaned down and peppered kisses all over his face. Usually he'd protest at the affection, but he closed his eyes, a small smile forming on his lips. "Just ten minutes, okay?"
a/n: i honestly didnt know where to go with this, i just kept writing lol. reader was hauling ass trying to get that pasta ready btw
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apipedreamxx Ā· 1 year ago
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ok so this might be a little weird but. i feel like tumblr is the only community thatll be really truły honest with me. so here it goes.
im currently in a happy relationship with a person whos very considerate, giving, funny, entertaining - all the cool and nice things for a partner to be. i kinda have a problem with how liike distant this relationship feels? we've not argued once since we started dating and i feel like its because we don't get that involved. but my partner's been open about the fact that they struggle with sharing emotions so ive been screwing up my courage to start being the more engaged one, i guees i can put it.
during the summer, mine and partner's vacation plans almost didnt overlap so we ended up almost not seeing each other. i was quite unhappy with that and i know they were as well. also an important fact i guess is that every year since i was like 6 i go to this summer camp. right nĆ³w im what you would call a counselor or sth like that, english doesnt always make sense. and my exboyfriend, the only man ive ever introduced to my family (bc they dont know im pan) is also a counselor at the same camp.
i was the one who broke up with the guy and id never ever go back to that relationship, but i can admit that the physical side of it was always easy for us. like not even the sex, just the casual touching and being together. so this year, almost two years after our break-up, while i was missing my partner, who i hadnt seen in three weeks, i was reluctant to be firm in pulling away from the easiness of hugging and laying together, things like that. i didnt necessarily go over the boundaries of being friendly and affectionate - at least, you know, my boundaries, since everyone has different ones, but, the thing is, this guy isn't completely over me yet. and well, he was always sort of pushy, but i dont know, the physical contact felt really good. i was told by friends that i look better and that im less irritable, all because some guy whos frankly a lot annoying hugged me tightly enough?
so what im focusing on and what i need advice with are two things:
1) id hate for this to be like a heteronormative thing, you know? has anyone experienced something like, theres one person whos just better at touching you than other? am i just touch starved?
2) i will ofc be talking to my partner when we see each other soon, but what do yall think are the odds theyd see this whole thing as cheating? i just. dont wanna hurt them
thank you very much for reading, if u got this far, and i would really like some advice, or maybe just to know of a similar experience. anyway. thank you
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luversgirl Ā· 3 years ago
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MY OBX REC LIST
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( ā˜¾ = angst, ā˜† = head-canon, ā€ = fluff, āœ§ = smut )
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rafe cameron
ā€”Ā mr. ghost face āœ§ ( so mf funny )
ā€”Ā craving āœ§Ā ( no words šŸ˜¶ )
ā€” ab riding āœ§ ( oh. my. god. part 2, OH . MY. GOD )
ā€”Ā always been there ( series )
ā€” manic ā˜¾ ( love this )
ā€” father figure ( i would die for this series. )
ā€” eyeliner ā˜¾ ā€
ā€” love language ā€
ā€” good luck charm ā˜¾ ā€ ( qb!rafe >>> )
ā€” honey āœ§ ( series, rafe being a sub? yes please )
ā€” euro trip ( series feat topper boi )
ā€” broken mirror ā€ ( ma heart, it hurts )
ā€” the aftermath āœ§ ( definition of me: whore for threesomes )
ā€” rafey ā€ ā˜¾ ( my heart omg )
ā€” I want you toĀ  ā€
ā€” qb!rafe teaching you how to play football ā€ ( aww )
ā€” dazed āœ§ ( *walks to church* )
ā€” wonā€™t give up ā˜¾ ( damn daniel part 2 )
ā€” unexpectedĀ āœ§ (Ā oh my lordy lord )
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jj maybank
ā€” not perfect ā˜¾ ( series )
ā€” kick his ass ā€ ( i cant omg my heart part 2 )
ā€” last year ā˜¾
ā€”Ā sorry āœ§
ā€” bad day ā€ ā˜¾ ( crying rn )
ā€” wonder what she thinks of me āœ§ ā˜¾
ā€” stains ā˜¾ ( my heart = šŸ’” part 2 )
ā€” the project ā€
ā€” take a seat, princess āœ§
ā€” oh baby ā˜¾ļæ¼
ā€” tears ā˜¾ ā€ ( the end omg )
ā€” the challenges of having sex in a dorm room āœ§
ā€” forever? always ā€ ā˜¾ ( ma heart, ma soul )
ā€” pornhub ā€ āœ§
ā€” i thought i lost you ā˜¾ ( ahhh )
ā€” bellyache ā˜¾ ( part two )
ā€” cuts and bruises ā€
ā€” shark bait ā˜¾ ā€ ( chomp chomp )
ā€” hot and bothered āœ§
ā€” touch starved ā€ ( i want this ahhhhh )
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sarah cameron
ā€”Ā beach momentsĀ āœ§
ā€” dear diary ā€ ( so muck fluff my heart is gonna explode )
ā€” take my breath āœ§ ( feat jj )
ā€” chooseĀ ā˜¾ ā€ ( the end omg )
ā€” experimental love āœ§
ā€” truth or dare ā€ ( jj was so funny lmao )
ā€”Ā that's my girlfriendĀ ā€
ā€” first time āœ§ ( Iā€™m a slut 4 sarah idk if u noticed )
ā€” cruel summer ā˜¾ ā€
ā€” mine ā˜¾ āœ§
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pope heyward
ā€” cuddles ā€
ā€” playing both sides āœ§ ( feat rafe )
ā€” better things to come ā€ ( awe )
ā€” imagine āœ§ ( their works >>> )
ā€” grand gesture ā€ ( i want this so bad omg )
ā€” lesson 1 donā€™t eat out your best friends girlfriend āœ§
ā€”Ā in your room ā€
ā€” nothing compares ā˜¾
ā€” enough for you ā˜¾ ( sad we lost pope then we got rafe šŸ˜¼ )
ā€” popes secret ā˜¾ ā€
ā€” soft fingering āœ§
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barry
ā€” salvation in the form of your grace ā˜¾ ( sobbinggg )
ā€” soft ā€ ( awe )
ā€” dating barry headcanon āœ§ ā€ ā˜†
ā€” jealousy āœ§
ā€” a proposal ā€
ā€” barry x hippie!reader ā€ ā˜† ( shitting tears rn )
ā€” nsfw alphabet āœ§ ā˜†
ā€” peach āœ§ ( feat rafe of course )
ā€” fucked around ā€ ( i canā€™t i canā€™t omg )
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john b
ā€” have mercy āœ§
ā€” where were you in the morningĀ ā€ ( theirs more parts )
ā€” iā€™m a what? ā€ ā˜¾ ( i luv this sm )
ā€” meeting the motherĀ ā€Ā 
ā€” flying high ā€ ( went on my first fight a in aug, feel u john b )
ā€” drive in movie āœ§ ( luv this song )
ā€” red handed āœ§ ( feat jj, so mf hot omggg )
ā€” safe haven ā˜¾ ā€
ā€” our secret ā€ ā˜¾ ( i hate luke šŸ”ŖšŸ”ŖšŸ”Ŗ )
ā€” always knew ā˜¾ ā€
ā€” off his mind ā˜¾ ( ugh the angsttt )
ā€” hold me ( content warning//sa )
ā€” miles and miles ā˜¾ ā€ ( so mf cute )
ā€” rich and sad āœ§ ā˜¾
ā€” if you ever want to be in love ā€ ( the call ahhhhh )
ā€” morning āœ§ ( i hope them walls are thicker then they look )
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kiara
ā€” mercyĀ āœ§ ( feat ms sarah cameron ovi )
ā€” girls need love ā€ ( the fluff ahhhhh )
ā€” surfing lessons with kiara ā€ ( my heart omg )
ā€” girlfriend āœ§ ā€
ā€” two of the same ā€ ( yall i- )
ā€” canā€™t handle it āœ§ ( feat sarah )
ā€” kiss the girl ā€ ( so mf cute )
ā€” wish i was sarah ā˜¾ ā€ ( ugh the angst part 2 )
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notes: omg tumbler got mad thereā€™s 100 links oops imma probably make another one lol anyway go read the fics by all these amazingly talented writers!!!
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xiaophilia Ā· 3 years ago
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What's their Love language?
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ā€£ I wanted to take a break from yandere cult stuff in sagau so here u go. I'd probably do another one where it covers all love language IDK anyways this is a long one so buckle up! Also I'm well aware that there's others who already wrote something like this but I forgot their username if you know please tell me!
āœŽ...Includes: GN! Reader | Aether, Albedo, Bennett, Childe and Diluc |
ā¬Information:ā­ Fluff, established relationship, comfort everything is written in smol
Intro: [Part 1 of 3] [Part 2] [Part 3]
How does he show his affection? Gifts? Words? Touch? Well.. Let's find out!
More under the cut!
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Ū«ŪŖāŪŖŪŖą½“ą½»ā”ŠAether || Traveller
Acts of service! He is traveller who came from another world jumping from nation to nation, in hopes of finding his sister, all while reluctantly doing random quests strangers give him in exchange for a few bags of Mora and fighting ruin guards and sentient plant elementals on an almost daily basis. Aether isn't afraid to do a few chores and errands for you, after all they are nothing compared to what he has been doing. And we'll besides that he just enjoys doing small things for you!
Tying and combing your hair for you, carrying your stuff if he thinks they're too heavy for you or helping with your commission if they're too difficultā€”he'd even cook for you if you'd like.
Aether just finds it absolutely satisfying when you thank him even for the smallest things, deeming your 'thank-yous' more precious and valuable than any rewards he's given. What can he say? He's fallen, hard and deep.
Quality time! He is a traveller from another worldā€”his time in Teyvat isn't long. If he finds his sister he's bound to leave. Every second with you is cherished by him. Constant thoughts of you disappearing from his grasp plague his mind like a never ending nightmareā€”the paranoia forcing to check on you every so often, and whenever he sees you sitting by your home, he feels a sense of relief wash over him.
The heavy feeling replaced with serenity as he lays eyes on your figure. Aether always finds solace and peace within your presence, always seeking you out whenever he has the chance- whisking you away from everyone as he asks for your undivided attention and affection.
Aether has developed a habit of reminiscing some of his fondest memories with you, memories that never fail to paint an ever so goofy yet soft smile on his features, one so soft that his companions can't help but comment on. To them it's obvious, this man is smitten.
And lastly, Gift giving! He enjoys collecting small trinkets from his adventures that serves as gifts to whenever he sees you, be it a small seashell from Liyue shores or a book he found in Sumeru. Sometimes he takes pictures of views from places to places that he thinks that might suit your tastes. And maybe he can visit them once again- but this time it's with you.
Ever since you two started dating, Aether had developed a hobby of visiting shops to browse for gifts whenever he has the funds, often ignoring Paimon's persuasion that they should buy food instead. His bought gifts range from hair clips to pieces of jewelry.
Though he doesn't mind being one on the receiving end once in a while, Aether still prefers giving, after all if ever he leaves Teyvatā€”you'll at least have something to remember him by.
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Ū«ŪŖāŪŖŪŖą½“ą½»ā”ŠAlbedo || Kreideprinz
Physical Touch! Receiving and giving. Albedo isn't familiar with intimacy in general, so when it comes to initiating them it'll starts out as small, touches here and there- such as a soft pat on the the shoulder as an act of congratulation whenever something praise worthy happens, to a hand on your waist or on the small of your back whenever you two walk side by side. Having a hand draped over you in a side hug when sleeping that ends up in a cuddle in the morning.
Albedo who is unsurprisingly touch starved, melts whenever you show him the slightest bit of physical affection, of course that only happens under the privacy of your shared home, away from the prying eyes of others. That being said he likes it whenever you comb a hand through his untied hairā€” finding the sensation of your fingers brushing against his scalp soothing, it never fails to calm his overworked mind.
Albedo is a type of person who prefers to have you on his lap whenever he misses you, wanting all of your undivided attention to be focused on him and him onlyā€” his hands tightly locked around your waist refusing to let you go, forcing you to stay in place for the next hour or so.
Words of affirmation! (Okay hear me out first, he shows it more on assurance but i think it counts?) Albedo isn't used nor does he understand anything about the concept of relationships, in fact he didn't care about it all, well that was the case until you came along and changed that. Albedo is smart, and he's aware of how his unfaltering fascination with alchemy affects his relationship with you.
It's selfish but he cannot afford to stop, and the same time he cannot afford to let you go either. So when insecurities start to rise up Albedo drops everything, hundreds of words leave his lips, assuring you that no matter how deep his interest in alchemy is, it can never match how deep his love and devotion for you.
Praises spill from his mouth, the ever so quiet alchemist becomes talkative for once in the face of his lover, wiping tears that threatened to fall, pressesing his forehead against yours but not before giving your lips a short yet gentle kiss and a small whisper of "I love you".
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Ū«ŪŖāŪŖŪŖą½“ą½»ā”ŠBennett || Trial by fire
Acts of service! His constant bad luck that is often accompanied by a series of unfortunate events serves as barrier for Bennett. Though that barrier never did seem to bother you, staying with him even when everyone left, holding his hands despite all the bad luck that you two went through, you were still there smiling at him replying with 'its alright' whenever a trip goes south.
And because of that Bennett feels sort of indebted to you and promises to protect you whatever happens. Always bringing twice the amount of the bandages he used to carry around, cooking two servings of food for the both of you to snack on and bandaging your injuries you get whenever something goes wrong.
Carrying your bags for you whenever he sees you tired, protests slip from one ear to another as he grabs your hand to leave for another adventure.
Words of Affirmation! (Recieving). Bennett is someone who beams at the slightest of praises and blushes at the smallest of compliments. You can't really blame him he's just not used to it, yeah sure he gets complimented by his dads all the time but you're different. He doesn't know how you're differentā€”in a way... you just are!
The constant praises of how good he is when it comes to fighting always makes him smile for the next few days. Comments about how much you love him and cherish him sends butterflies to his stomach, a bright smile enough to rival the sun itself finds its way on his face as he loudly professes his love for you too.
Lastly Quality time! The both of you go adventuring quite often, though most of them end in scratches and bruises and with Bennett furiously spitting apologies left and right while bandaging your wounds.
Of course there are also times where your trips go well, if you excuse hillichurls chasing you and forgotten food, you two would end up under the huge tree in Windrise or near the cliffs of Cape oath, snacking on sunsettias and apples, basking in each other's presence as you two wait for the setting sun.
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Ū«ŪŖāŪŖŪŖą½“ą½»ā”ŠTartaglia || Childe
Gift giving! He's rich, very rich. Anything you could possibly want will be given to you in a matter of hours. Shiny glittering jewels that reflects the sun, clothing made from the finest and softest silks from Liyue and flowers of different kinds, you name it, are delivered at by your doorstep by Fatui skirmishers announcing that those incredibly expensive items in front of you were sent by none other than your boyfriend.
They were beautiful but the items were far too expensive for your taste and you only choose to pick a few from the items, choosing the ones with the simplest of style and design, shooing the skirmishers back to their boss along with what's left of the items, telling them to tell your boyfriend to buy something less expensive next time preferably food
Of course when Childe hears it he can't help but be amused, he finds it surprising how you don't find any interest in anything expensive and that you prefered the simpleā€”maybe you're just not used to luxury or maybe you just don't like them. Either way he finds himself falling for you again.
Physical touch! Childe is one hell of a touchy individual. Not going on with his day without touching you at least once or twice. A hand always placed somewhere on your body, a hand wrapped around your shoulders when sitting or around you waist when walking.
Kissing and kisses galore, often stealing kisses from you when you least expect it. Always wanting to fluster you in ever way humanly possibleā€”innocently or... Not so innocently.
Words of affirmation! He is a man who is not afraid to show his affection, either through actions or words or both! You'll never have a day where Childe doesn't profess his undying love for you in the most dramatic way ever. Though times when talks about his recklessness and lust for fight, as well as doubts about your relationship start to break out, Childe will always have a way with his words to calm you down, he's an older brother, a loving one at that.
He's quick to reassure you that he'll be fine, and that he maybe reckless with fighting he still somewhat values his life, for you of course, he doesn't want to leave the world too early, after all he plans to spend the rest of his damned life with you.
Though when it comes to doubts about your relationship, it sort of pisses him off, why would he pursue a relationship if he's not interested in you? That would just be a waste of time. Aren't the constant declaration of love he says on a daily basis not enough to show you that? Was he a person who'd just casually say those type of words to other people?
He maybe a bit of an ass but even he knows how much the value of those words weigh . He loves you, he really does. And he won't hesitate show you how much you truly mean to him.
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Ū«ŪŖāŪŖŪŖą½“ą½»ā”ŠDiluc Ragvindr || The dark side of Dawn
Giving gifts! Unlike a certain harbinger who openly flaunts his never ending wealth, Diluc here is on the more tame side of the spectrum. He isn't a fan of buying items that doesn't suit your taste, he finds it as a waste of both time and money.
But of course that doesn't mean he won't buy you anything expensive, he can and he will, money isn't the problem here, it's that his gifts hold more value and sentiments.
For him it's the thought that matters. Sure they're expensive as heck but there's a lot of thought put into picking the gift, making sure it's made of the finest materials and that it would suit your preference, that's what makes it more special.
Like that pair of promise rings Diluc gave you on your anniversary, telling you that he'll replace it soon with a real oneā€”a pair of pure gold ring with red and f/c jewels embedded respectively, each with the initials of you and his name's carved within the ring.
Shoes made from the strongest leathers, and clothing made from the most expensive silks handpicked by Diluc himself.
Beautiful assortments of flowers and exquisite chocolates delivered to you whenever he misses a date. And despite your protests when it comes to his gifts he wont listen, he just wants to show you that he loves youā€” and what better way to show it than spoiling you with gifts?
Quality time! He may be a very busy individual, but that doesn't hinder him from giving you attentionā€”always finding a way to clear up his tight schedule in favor of spending his time with you. Pausing his works in the mean time to go on a little picnic date or just go on a long cuddle session for the whole day, within the comfort of your shared quarters. It's also a form of helping Diluc relax and unwind.
You just being there and spending time with him calms him down, you were a breath of fresh air for him. With you he feels as if all the burden he's been carrying had lessen, your presence is like the sun that shines brightly after a storm had past.
To Diluc you were one of the few good things that happened to himā€”that's why he cherishes you so much. After losing not only his father but his brother as well took a huge toll on himā€”he lost too much and he can't afford to loose you too, because if he did, he might just loose himself too.
Now it would be acts of service but man overworkes himself too much so it'll be replaced by Physical touch (receiving)! Diluc is a bit stiff when it comes to physical interaction, he blushes with the slightest of contact with your skinā€”now that doesn't mean he's uncomfortable, on the contrary it's actually the opposite.
He's touch starved. He's been deprived by love, spending most of his time alone, tall walls built around his heart to avoid getting hurt but you made it past those walls eased his hurting self and showered him in love and adoration!
That being said he loves holding your hands, especially if it's smaller than his. It gives him reassurance that you're here with him and he finds it comforting. Though he isn't a fan of pda prefering to keep things private it doesn't stop the knowing looks and small glances he gives you.
Subtle and not so subtle touches, like the soft brush against your fingers when serving you a drink he poured himself, to a hand on your shoulderā€”pulling you away from crowds or interlacing his hands with yours when walking back to the winery. It's the small things that sends his heart fluttering and his face beet red.
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Ū«ŪŖāŪŖŪŖą½“ą½»ā”ŠKaeya Alberich || Frostwind Swordsman
Words of affirmation! He's witty, charmingā€” earning the hearts of many with little to no effort. A wordy individual, that's what Kaeya is, using his glib tongue to twist situations into his favorā€” a rather helpful talent if he's being honest especially with a job like his. It makes criminals easier to interrogate and not only that it's also helpful making you flustered! He just loves seeing you embarrassed.
Anyway, it's true that he's quite the flirt, treating almost everything as a joke that it almost makes you think that maybe he treats you as one too. But he doesn't. He loves you and he hates it when you have those types of thoughts.
Sometimes he curses himself for being such a flirt. He doesn't like it when you feel this wayā€” it may seem like he's just joking around but he's serious about you! It's evident with the way his voice carries out the words he says with nothing but pure love. His tone soft and lightā€”that tone is not something he uses with others, it's reserved for you and you only.
Praises that he truly means leave his mouth, those praises he gives you are nothing alike with the empty ones he gives others. He treats you differently. He loves you, dearly.
Physical touch! He's as touchy as he is flirty. Much like Childe, he likes touching youā€” not necessarily in a sexual way as it's more innocent. Kaeya and innocent? I know, shocking. Jokes aside. Kaeya is rather touchyā€” always having an arm on you one way or anotherā€”either a hand around your shoulder or around your waist.
He just feels the constant need to show off that you two are together. He also likes holding hands, especially if your hands- bonus points if it's smaller than his- the feeling of both your fingers interwoven with each other gives him some sort of reassurance.
Also he's definately a hand kisser and whenever he feels like it he'll grab a hand to press his lips onā€”just to see your reaction. And speaking of kisses. He adores giving you kisses! As a romantic he likes to kiss you on the lips and/or neck but if you're not comfortable with it he'll just settle for the cheeks. Either way it never fails to make you blush!
Quality Time! Although seeming as an extrovertā€”Kaeya is actually a person who quite lonely. But ever since he met you he hasn't felt that. Coming to terms that he has gotten used to another person's presence. That person being you of course! With that saidā€”he dislikes being away from you but with an occupation like his it's quite hard not to be far away from you.
As a captain of the knights he has a lot of duties. And because of it it makes him busy and unable to be with you but of course he always finds ways to cheat the systemā€” he wouldn't be Kaeya if he didn't. On days where he isn't swamped by paperworks, Kaeya likes taking you on small outingsā€” or just small strolls around Mondsadt. He also offers a lot of assistance when it comes to you doing commissions.
After all he'd been throughā€” it's not surprising that he's a bit protective, of course he's not saying you're weak, he knows you can protect yourself but the thought of you getting hurt- it just doesn't sit right with him. He might be a little sadistic but but putting you in danger is not something he wants.
After all those years of being alone- he finally has someone again. Someone who would love him despite all his flawsā€” someone who could cherish him. He's not aloneā€” he will never be alone.
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Ā©Xiaophilia || Do not repost or translate without permission
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kirishimaswife2819 Ā· 4 years ago
Note
Hi! I just recently found ur page and love ur writings, theyā€™re all incredible šŸ˜©šŸ’— I was wondering if you could write a scenario/one shot with a female reader x Kirishima. The reader is touch starved but is too awkward to ask for, let alone initiate, physical contact. Itā€™s chill if u donā€™t write it, thank you!!šŸ’™
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Them with a Fem!S/o Thatā€™s Touch Starved but Too Awkward to Ask for Affection || Kirishima (Headcanons+Scenario)
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Masterlist 1 || Masterlist 2
ā† Authorā€™s Note: Hi! So I wrote this earlier today, and then I went to upload it and it disappeared and would not come back, and that contributed to my bad day, cause I thought I lost it and would have to rewrite it. Anyway, it just reappeared right now, so here it is. Thank you for requesting! I hope you like this! I also did some headcanons and a little scenario instead of a oneshot so I hope thatā€™s fine. -Danielle <3
ā† Characters: Eijiro Kirishima x Fem!Reader
ā† Summary: Kirishima with a fem!s/o thatā€™s touch starved but too awkward to initiate or ask for physical affection.
ā† Genre: Fluff (maybe slight angst)
ā† Word Count: 800
ā† Warnings: None
ā† Notes: None
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Headcanons
Okay, so if youā€™re with Kirishima you probably wonā€™t have to worry much about initiating physical contact or even asking for it
Kirishimaā€™s one hundred percent the type of boyfriend thatā€™s all over you 24/7, and barely gives you any room to breath, unless you specifically ask for it
So, for the most part, you donā€™t have to ask for any, unless you happen to want it when Kirishima isnā€™t in a very affectionate mood (which is rare, heā€™s almost constantly holding your hand, or cuddling you etc.)
But one day Bakugou says something that gets Kirishima thinking, and this time thatā€™s not a good thing
They had been hanging out and somehow the topic of you and Kirishima dating came up and Bakugou was like
ā€œHow the hell is she still dating you?ā€
ā€œWhat do you mean?ā€ Kirishima replied.
ā€œI mean that youā€™re clingy and it probably annoys the hell out of her. Didnā€™t you ever notice that she never initiates physical affection with you? You always do it, sheā€™s probably just scared youā€™ll get mad if she complains about it,ā€ Bakugou replied, and Kirishima was going to defend himself, saying that you didnā€™t mind, but what if Bakugou was right?
So, Kirishima thought of the best idea he could, he would wait for you to initiate the physical contact first, so he didnā€™t become overwhelming
Scenario
You were sitting on the couch, crossing your arms, studying the redhead sitting across the room from you, messing around on his phone. He had been acting weird all day. Sure, he had days where he wasnā€™t as affectionate, but he still showed affection on those types of days, just not as much as he normally would. But that day, he didnā€™t give you any affection at all, and you were starting to get more and more touch starved.
You hadnā€™t felt that way in a long time, not since you started dating Kirishima, and you hated that the feeling was back. You contemplated walking over and holding his hand or cuddling up to his side, but what if he didnā€™t want you to? What if he pushed you away when you tried? You also thought about simply asking, but youā€™d sound dumb, right? Nobody asks for physical affection, thatā€™s way too awkward, how would you even phrase the question if you were to ask?
You thought about all of that as you sat there, waiting for something interesting to happen. Eventually you both got a message from the group chat, asking if you two wanted to go out to dinner with them. The dinner went how all Bakusquad dinners went, lots of jokes, lots of threats, and lots of annoying the people working there. But it wasnā€™t normal for Kirishima to not be affectionate with you, that was probably the only thing that was missing.Ā 
None of them thought anything of it, thinking that maybe you two were just going through a rough patch, though some of them were slightly concerned. At the end of the dinner, you all went back to the dorms and hung out there for a while, until eventually Mina got up to go to bed. She offered you a hug, as she always did and thatā€™s when she knew something was really wrong. You hugged her tightly, and you hadnā€™t done that since you started dating Kirishima. It was like you were trying to get all the affection that you could from the five second hug.
ā€œKirishima, can I talk to you?ā€ Mina asked, as soon as she pulled away. She glanced at you and gave you a small smile. You watched and Mina pulled a very confused Kirishima off to the side, and gave him a talk. You could tell they were talking about you, since Kirishimaā€™s eyes went to you multiple times as she went on a whole rant.
ā€œOkay, guys, Iā€™m gonna head to bed!ā€ Mina finally announced, leaving behind Kirishima, before waving to all of you and going off to her dorm. As soon as she left, Kirishima approached you and intertwined your hand with his, leading you back to the couch. He sat down and pulled you onto his lap as he always did, causing you to sigh in relief and snuggle closer to him.
Sero, Bakugou, and Kaminari were in a heated argument over something, as you and Kirishima cuddled together. Eventually Kirishima kissed your forehead, before whispering in your ear,Ā ā€œYou could have told me you wanted affection. I would have gladly given you some.ā€
ā€œThatā€™s too awkward,ā€ you replied,Ā ā€œSo is initiating it.ā€
ā€œSorry, Bakubro said something and I was being an idiot. I wonā€™t do it again, okay?ā€
ā€œOkay,ā€ you replied, smiling as you buried your head in his neck,Ā ā€œI love you.ā€
ā€œI love you too, babe.ā€
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gojology Ā· 4 years ago
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Lovebirds.
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š‘Øš’–š’•š’‰š’š’“'š’” š‘µš’š’•š’† |Ā  omg this is my first request. ilysm anon, im now feelin super cool. also, i just realized i put recc (as in recommended) instead of requests. iā€™m super stupid LOL. anyways, im touch starved too dw bby, iā€™m servin u up a long one since i rlly like this request and after all u r my first! š‘·š’‚š’Šš’“š’Šš’š’ˆ | Gojo x Wife! Reader š‘¾š’š’“š’… š‘Ŗš’š’–š’š’• | 2307 š‘¾š’‚š’“š’š’Šš’š’ˆš’” | None! š‘ŗš’–š’Žš’Žš’‚š’“š’š | Coming home from a long mission in America, precisely 1 year, youā€™re excited to catch up on Gojoā€™s students, Nanami, and just Gojo in general. Ā  Leaning out of the car window, resting your arm against your purse, you sighed. A humid wind brushed against your skin, tickling you. It had been quite a while since you had been in Japan, spending almost a year on a huge mission in America. You had killed a battalion worthy amount of special grades. Ā  You spent most of your time in America in mostly horribly rundown places, equally as infested with curses. Although you found yourself enjoying Americaā€™s natural beauty, further away from the city life that many of the Americans found themselves enjoying, you much preferred Japan. after all, it was your home, and where you met Gojo Satoru. It would be another day until you could return, and you had gone through hundreds of scenarios of finally being in his arms again, but nonetheless, you were ecstatic at the thought of your husbandā€™s touch. Ā  Your phoneā€™s notification chimed loudly, you threw your phone onto the other seat, heart jumping up to a high rate. It was a recording of Satoru loudly yelling, ā€œOPEN YOUR FUCKING PHONE!ā€ with a flurry of giggles afterwards. Ā  Ā Ijichi jumped, turning left and right. Whispering under his breath, he let out an exasperated sigh, switching the music channel. Ā  Ā The recording was mostly because of the time you had to ghost him due to work. Gojo had snuck on and recorded it, doing some magical tech stuff and giving you the custom notification sound. You had kept it that way ever since, since secretly, you enjoyed that you were so badly wanted by Gojo, that, and you had no idea how to change it back. Ā  Ā But the custom notification was sweet as well. Ā  You smiled to yourself every time you heard it, a familiar twinge of pain flashing inside of you whenever you realized you wouldnā€™t be able to see him for a while. Ā  Well, today, and the days after that would be different. Youā€™d be able to finally see Gojo again, and his new students that he always frantically texted you about. Nanami, an old friend of Gojo, and also an old friend of yours, would also be there to welcome you back, you found yourself reminiscing about them. Ā  You had heard so much about them, one of the kids being Sukunaā€™s vessel, you wondered how Gojo could contain such a fear, being around the kid at all times, he always told you about how the kid was actually energetic and happy and an overall great kid, you had heard about Nanami, finally coming back into the jujutsu sorcerer field of work, even though you always found that he still had a thing for finances. Ā  You shook your head, ā€œSave that shit for later, (Y/N).ā€ muttering to yourself, you didnā€™t want to think of anything but Gojo, after all, it had been one fucking year of being deprived of the man you loved most. You were practically starving for the guy, in more ways than one. Ā  Ijichi gulped, facing towards you, one hand on his steering wheel, ā€œForgive me Mrs. Satoru, but um.. Forgive me if I misheard, but I think I heard your phones notification go off.. Due to the ah- incredibly loud profanity.ā€ Ā  Now just realizing that you had completely forgotten about the phone notification, you nodded your thanks to Ijichi, a warmth rushing to your cheeks before opening up your phone. Ā  Ā In the small, rounded box containing Gojoā€™s message, he wrote in all caps, ā€œSUGAR, MY BELOVED, MY QUEEN, HOW CLOSE ARE YOU? I CANā€™T FUCKING WAIT Iā€™M LITERALLY BOUNCING UP AND DOWN IN OUR BED.ā€ Ā  Smiling to yourself, you furiously texted back, ā€œCalm down honeybun, Iā€™ll be there in like, 24 hours, Iā€™m not even fucking close.ā€ Ā  You almost instantly got a DM back, making you jump a bit in your seat. Even with the 5 years of friendship, and the 3 years of relationship, and the 2 years of marriage, he still almost always texted you back as quickly as possible. Ā  ā€œGod I canā€™t fucking wait for you to meet the kids! Weā€™ll keep it a surprise, yeah? We have a bunch of treats, and we also got the kids to get some gifts for you! How thoughtful arenā€™t they? Theyā€™re MY offspring by the way, so like, you know, whenever you want a kid, itā€™s your call ;)ā€ Ā  You snorted to yourself, smiling. He genuinely seemed so excited, and it was all shining through even though it was from a screen. Ā  Ā ā€œMaybe in a few years, I donā€™t even wanna imagine a little you.ā€ Ā  Despite the excited, bubbling feeling brewing bigger and bigger in your stomach, you figured itā€™d be best to sleep before the chaos. Happily sighing, you laid down, using your purse as a pillow, drifting into a blissful sleep. Ā ā€§ā‚ŠĖšāœ©å½”. Ā  You awoke to a sudden halt, Looking around your surroundings, you figured you were home. Ijichi looked like he was damn near about to fall asleep on the steering wheel. Ā  Well, maybe thatā€™s what 24 hours of constant driving did to you. You fished around in your purse, silently cursing looking for a water bottle. Ā  ā€œHere, Ijichi, looks like you ran a marathon.ā€ you grinned, handing the slightly crumped water bottle to him. Ā  He beamed as if a guardian angel had descended down and gave him a trillion dollars. Ā  ā€œMrs. Satoru! You really mean it? The ride was nothing, I was merely instructed to do so and I wouldā€™ve done it happily regardless.ā€ Ā  You waved your hand, as a dismissal of the conversation. ā€œYou overwork yourself Ijichi, go catch a break, on me. If Gojo tears you apart, tell him he wonā€™t be getting any pussy from me for another year.ā€ Ā  Ichiji nodded vigorously, before dashing off, probably towards a massage center, God that guy needed it. ā€§ā‚ŠĖšāœ©å½”. Ā  Ā Gojo frantically hopped up and down, it had been a day, now he was just waiting for you to bust through the door in your wild hair, his legs sprawled onto the whole of a couch, he stared at the ceiling, a dopey smile spread across his face.Ā  Ā  Ā ā€œSatoru. (Y/N) will not even want to be associated with you, looking at your current state.ā€ he remarked, staring at the sorcerer with his strikingly dead eyes.Ā  Ā  Ā ā€œNanami, how the fuck am I supposed to act calm?! Iā€™ve waited for this moment for ONE YEAR! Does my hair look normal?!ā€ Ā  Ā ā€œYour hair looks just like an albino porcupine, just as usual.ā€ Flipping the page of his newspaper, he sighed, rubbing his temples.Ā ā€œI will never understand how someone like (Y/N) would be.. Interested in you, Satoru.ā€Ā  Ā  Ā Gojo paid no attention to the insult Nanami had so clearly made, his ears were perked up, eavesdropping on a distant conversation coming closer and closer.Ā  Ā  Ā ā€œGojo-Senpai was telling me about this movie while training my cursed energy! He basically spoiled the whole thing but he told me that the main character was super annoying but apparently she dies in the end in the most gruesome way possible! Itā€™s worth the watch, your soul will feel cleansed as soon as you see her lifeless body!ā€Ā  Ā  Ā ā€œYuuji, you literally spoiled the whole thing to me just now.ā€ Fushiguro calmly stated, looking bored out of his mind.Ā  Ā  Ā ā€œOh, oops.ā€ Yuuji rubbed the back of his neck. He smiled coyly, tightly hugging his present. Ā  Ā ā€œWhatā€™s with the decorations, Gojo-Sensei?ā€ inquired Nobara, stroking her warm toned brown hair. She had figured it was something about the presents that Gojo had forced the trio to get, but he never told them who it was for. Ā  Ā The room had been decorated with various balloons and confetti, scattered about, on the table and the ground. A cake box wrapped with a gigantic bow limply guarded whoever was brave enough to get their hands on something that Gojo seemed to be protecting with his life. Ā  Ā A pink table cover with a crudely drawn Gojo and what would seem to be a girl, a heart in the middle of the pair. In a horrible font with an even awfuller text, the text on top and at the bottom of the drawing proudly stated: Ā  Ā ā€œWELCOME BACK QTā€ Ā  Ā ā€œ-YOUā€™RE HUSBAND AND THE CREWā€ Ā  Ā Nobara stood in distaste, trying to disguise the face she made. The drawing, the misused youā€™re, and the overall poor design choice was enough to almost make her vomit.Ā  Ā  Ā Nobara, about to make her distasteful statements about the whole mess, was suddenly shut up as Gojo started hopping up and down, looking directly at his phone. Ā Ā ā€œSHEā€™S COMING! SHEā€™S COMING! EVERYONE IN YOUR PLACES!ā€ Ā  Ā Now, seeing Gojo freak out wasnā€™t outside of the ordinary, but it was to see him freak out to this extent. He was hopping up and down, blabbering about a certain woman named (Y/N). Nobara was pretty sure that if a curse attacked right now, even a special grade comparable to the one with the uncomplete domain could completely crush Gojo, the guy seemed completely unaware of the example he was setting to the kids. Even Yuuji stood in disbelief, and he had seen multiple tantrums by Gojo. Ā  Nanami, however, licked his finger and flipped the newspaper page. A face of boredom obviously displayed.Ā  Ā  Ā Nobara, preparing herself to chew Gojo out about how utterly stupid and embarrassing he made the whole class of jujutsu sorcerers look like, stopped wide eyed as she looked at the doors slide wide open. ā€§ā‚ŠĖšāœ©å½”. Ā  Ā You stood, shyly, looking at the ground. Gojo dove headfirst into your arms, laughing like a maniac and digging his face into your shoulder. You breathed in his scent, scanning the room.Ā  Ā  Ā Three teens, sat wide-eyed, backs straight as they looked at you with eyes you couldnā€™t quite read. All three of them held presents.Ā  Ā  Ā The one with eyelids underneath his eyes (which you assumed was Yuuji, the vessel of Sukuna) eyed you curiously, his eye twitched.Ā  Ā  Ā The other boy, one with wild black-blue hair, sat mouth agape, before closing it. He looked like he was about to say something, before stopping entirely and hugging his present closer to his chest. Ā  Ā The warm haired girl darted her eyes between you two, seemingly trying to put the puzzle together.Ā  Ā  Ā Nanami put the newspaper down, glancing over to you two. Ā  Ā ā€œThis is obviously Gojo-Senpaiā€™s wife. He hasnā€™t seen her in many months, and as you can see, really really misses her.ā€ he paused, a small smile spreading on his face, a rare sight.Ā  Ā  Ā ā€œI donā€™t even know why myself, but what can you do with lovebirds?ā€ he thought aloud, his attention now focused to the two of you furiously making out, hands in places Yuuji and the crew didnā€™t need to see. Ā  Ā ā€œSatoru, (Y/N), leave the kissing for later. Donā€™t you see the kids?ā€Ā  Ā  Ā You detached yourself from his mouth, panting for breath. The air being exhaled out of his nose fanned over your face, you had just now realized the kids again.Ā  Ā  Ā ā€œSatoru, lets sit down. I bet the kids are surprised.Ā ā€œ you motioned to the couch. Gojo whined.Ā  Ā  Ā ā€œWhat? Theyā€™re not that dumb, they can tell youā€™re my wife or at least, youā€™re my girlfriend, just by the way we kiss right? Isnā€™t this telling enough?ā€Ā  Ā  Ā ā€œYou didnā€™t tell them about me, ever did you?ā€Ā  Ā  Ā He sighed in defeat, holding tightly onto your arm as you dragged him over and sat down on the comfortable couch, opposite of Yuuji and the crew. Nanami scooched over, before finally getting up to pull another chair from somewhere else. Grunting, he excused himself from the room.Ā  Ā  Ā ā€œYOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND, GOJO-SENPAI? AND DIDNā€™T TELL US?ā€ Yuuji questioned, looking like he was about to faint. Ā  Ā Gojo laughed, snuggling deeper onto you, almost like a koala.Ā  Ā  Ā ā€œSheā€™s my wife, arenā€™t you, sugar? Did you even pay attention to anything Nanami said? He literally said she was my wife.ā€Ā  Ā  Ā Megumi made an obvious gagging sound, but even he didnā€™t seem as bored as he was usually. He actually looked intrigued.Ā  Ā  Ā ā€œWhy didnā€™t you tell us, Gojo-Senpai?ā€ the girl nagged, slamming her fist down on the table.Ā  Ā  Ā Gojo smiled,Ā ā€œUh, well, I wanted it to be a surprise when she came back.ā€Ā  Ā  Ā ā€œCouldnā€™t you have told us that you had a wife or something?ā€ Megumi butt in. Ā  Ā The door slid open, Nanami coming in with a wooden stool.Ā  Ā  Ā ā€œKnowing Gojo-Senpai, that probably went over his head.ā€ grunting as he placed the wooden stool down and sat, he opened his newspaper again.Ā  Ā  Ā ā€œWhere do you guys know eachother?ā€ Ā  Ā ā€œWas Gojo-Senpai handsome back in highschool too?ā€ Ā  Ā ā€œDo you know what lipgloss Gojo-Senpai wears?ā€ Ā  Ā ā€œGojo-Senpai, how did you know you loved her?ā€Ā  Ā  Ā ā€œGojo-Senpai, can we eat now?ā€Ā  Ā  Ā ā€œDo you know why Gojo has such a horrible sweet tooth?ā€Ā  Ā  Ā  Before you could even respond, Nanami put his hand up.Ā  Ā  Ā ā€œNow, now, lets let the happy couple settle down.ā€ he cleard his throat, not even making eye contact with anyone but the newspaper.Ā  Ā  Ā An audible chorus of groans sounded,Ā ā€œWhat do you expect us to do? We literally just met her!ā€ moaned Yuuji. Ā  Ā ā€œWerenā€™t you the one that literally asked if we could eat yet?ā€ Ā  Ā Yuuji immediately shut up afterwards.Ā  Ā  Ā ā€œYuuji, she just came back from a 1 day trip. She should be laying down comfortably with Gojo-Senpai and they should be catching up. Youā€™ll have the opportunity to talk to her and learn about her later. Right now she needs space.ā€ Ā  Ā ā€œBut-ā€ Nobara whined, clasping her hands together. Ā  Ā Nanami turned to Fushiguro, but even he had his mind set.Ā ā€œI didnā€™t even begin to think that Gojo had a wife. I really want to know more about her, if you think about it, this is all Gojo-Senseiā€™s fault.ā€ Ā  Ā Nanami rubbed his temples, staring at the two of you for backup, realizing that you two were making out again. Ā  Ā Nanami sighed, 10 years later and you two were still the same. Ā  Ā 
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ur-jinji Ā· 4 years ago
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141+levi
ps. have a lovely night (: and dont put preasure on yourself. u are great!
thank you very much anon!!! have a lovely night yourself <3 ur greater :)
someone to spend time with
levi ackerman x gn!reader college au
summary: in which two lonely people share an unlikely friendship and some confused feelings for one another
word count: 2.2k
song: someone to spend time with // los retros
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ā€œi got you boba,ā€ you announced as you approached a small, square table in the library where your classmate, levi, resided.
ā€œwhat the fuck is that.ā€ he asked.
ā€œtea.ā€
ā€œsay less.ā€
you handed him the drink and sat down across from him, watching him slurp away. his attention quickly moved back to the book in front of him.
ā€œhowā€™d you find me?ā€ levi questioned, his steel eyes glancing up at you for a quick second.
ā€œyouā€™re always here,ā€ you replied, shrugging. ā€œplus, i need help with our reading assignment.ā€
ā€œyou always need help.ā€ he sighed and closed his book.
you and levi shared a shakespearean literature course and somewhat became friends by default because your assigned seats were directly next to each other. he was very reserved in class, but your boredom got the best of you, so youā€™d talk his ear off. he wasnā€™t very amused initially, as he took his schoolwork and class time very seriously, but he eventually warmed up to you. after forcing levi to help you once, you just kept coming back. you enjoyed his quiet company, and he appeared to be just as alone as you were. except his was by choice, you assumed.
ā€œi just canā€™t keep up with all of macbethā€™s drama,ā€ you joked. ā€œi figured iā€™d pay you with tea and my presence to help me for the millionth time.ā€
ā€œyeah, your presence was starting to not be enough,ā€ levi said monotonously, yet a small smile forming on his lips.
ā€œyou must like my company a little if my presence was enough of a payment before now,ā€ you replied as you leant your elbow on the tea, resting your chin in your palm.
ā€œi guess youā€™re okay,ā€ he said simply. ā€œwhat do you need help with.ā€
ā€œlisten, i tried to read act 2, but i was at a loss,ā€ you stated. ā€œoh, and i forgot my book.ā€
ā€œyouā€™re an idiot,ā€ levi mumbled, shaking his head. ā€œcā€™mere.ā€ your eyes widened, but you complied, getting up from your seat across from him. as you made your way around the table, he grabbed the back of the chair next to his and pulled it out for you. you thanked him and took a seat, in which he replied with a simple ā€œmm-hm.ā€
ā€œtake some notes. i donā€™t want you calling me tonight saying youā€™re confused,ā€ he told you. you nodded and grabbed your pencil and notebook from across the table. levi started summarizing the text for you, and explaining the shakespearean language that constantly left you feeling perplexed. you silently listened, jotting down notes for a while before getting bored and doodling on the sides of the paper. he quickly took notice in your drawings. he glanced down, seeing an outline of an angry face, along with an arrow pointing to levi. his eyebrows furrowed when he saw the word ā€œstinkyā€ accompanying the face and arrow. he swiftly picked up his own pen and drew an x through your doodles, then scribbling ā€œbratā€ down on the paper. you giggled and nudged his knee with yours.
ā€œtch. you should be paying attention. weā€™re being quizzed on this,ā€ levi commented, causing you to groan. you folded your arms and let your face fall forward into them.
ā€œi didnā€™t even hear the professor say anything about a quiz,ā€ you grumbled, your voice muffling against your skin.
ā€œyou didnā€™t hear because youā€™re always talking my ear off. she said thereā€™ll be an essay, too,ā€ he added, only making you groan once again. you relaxed slightly when you felt his hand pat the back of your head. his head pats were his quiet way of trying to comfort you. they always felt nice.
you suddenly perked up, his hand falling off your hair, in which he moved to rest it on the back of chair.
ā€œokay, okay. letā€™s get serious,ā€ you said, nodding towards his textbook.
ā€œiā€™ve been serious,ā€ levi replied blankly. he continued his little lecture, and you wondered if he realized his fingers had started toying with the ends of your hair. his touch sent chills down your spine. you started to take note in your mind of how he sometimes did those little things. those little gestures and touches. you liked them a little more than you should have. maybe you were just touch starved, or maybe they just felt good coming from him. levi wasnā€™t an easy guy to read, so you normally brushed those kinds of moments off. but as he droned on about some witchsā€™ prophecies, all you could think about was how the tips of his fingers were getting closer to the skin on your nape.
ā€œyouā€™re not taking notes,ā€ levi stated the obvious, sighing and turning his head to you. ā€œlike i said, i donā€™t want you calling m-ā€œ
ā€œwhat if i called you anyway?ā€ you asked gingerly. his eyebrows furrowed, and the hand behind you disappeared. ā€œlike, what if I called you, but not to talk about macbeth?ā€
ā€œwhat else is there to talk about.ā€
ouch. okay. now this is fucking awkward. shouldā€™ve just kept my mouth shut and let the kid keep playing with my stupid hair.
ā€œhah, nevermind. i was just kidding. keep going,ā€ you managed to get out, despite the feeling of an invisible hand around your neck to keep you from continuing to make an ass of yourself. you shifted your attention forward, your gaze falling down to your notebook.
ā€œum, yeah. you can call me,ā€ levi spoke, his normally uninterested tone sounding off. there was the tiniest hint of....desperation? tenseness? it went unnoticed by you.
ā€œno, itā€™s okay. i donā€™t wanna bother you more than I have,ā€ you replied. i need to get out of here. ā€œi actually gotta go. i told my, um, roommate iā€™d help them with something.ā€ you swiftly stood up, reaching out to gather your things, when leviā€™s hand was suddenly grasping your wrist.
ā€œi...want you to call me,ā€ he said, his volume low and his gaze shifting around, appearing to be quite nervous. you froze, and his grip on your wrist began to loosen before letting it drop. you nod slowly, pushing your head downwards to hide the embarassing blush creeping on your cheeks.
later that night, you were left alone, as your roommate was out with their friends or participating in a study group almost every night. you were sat at your desk, drumming a pencil and fidgeting around nervously, wondering if you should call levi. the phone works two ways, and you always seemed to be the one making the effort to hang out or talk to him.
what if he thinks iā€™m desperate?
you sighed and swallowed your pride. you pulled out the headphones from your ears that were playing loud music and found yourself staring at his contact in your phone.
knock knock. knock.
your head snapped in the direction of the noise coming from outside your door.
ā€œhey, brat. let me in.ā€
you froze, your mouth dropping. you sat there for a few moments, debating whether or not you should pretend you went to bed.
knock. knock.
you took a deep breath and stood, making your way to the door and cracking it open. you saw levi with his usual stoic expression. before you could even say a word, he raised his hand, pushing the door open and walking past you. he stopped in the middle of the room, his gray eyes scanning the area.
ā€œiā€™m assuming this is your side,ā€ levi said simply, pointing to your side of the room. you felt embarrassed when you realized your bed was unmade and a plushy was propped up against your pillow.
ā€œhah. uh, yeah,ā€ you replied. the nerves in your voice and laugh were evident. you crept to your desk, wanting to hide anymore embarrassing evidence. you quickly found a cringey picture frame of you and a friend from your hometown, your hand grasping it and gently placing it facedown.
ā€œwhat brings you to my dorm?ā€ you wondered, taking a seat in the desk chair to hide your shaking legs. unfortunately for you, your shifty actions only grabbed his attention, and your question went ignored. levi strolled to your desk and pressed his hand on the wooden top, leaning nonchalantly. he reached out for the picture frame you were desperate to hide, and picked it up. you looked up at him as he observed it with a small smirk.
ā€œtch. cute,ā€ he commented before propping the frame back on the desk. you hurriedly slammed it facedown again, mumbling a sheepish ā€˜thanks.ā€™ you continued to stare up at him as his eyes looked over your desk. his attention turned to you, his eyes falling onto your pink-tinted features.
ā€œwant some tea?ā€ you offered.
some time later, you and levi found yourselves lounging on opposite sides of your bed, both sitting with legs criss crossed. he held a large tea cup, sipping quietly at his second drink as you let him in on some gossip about your roommateā€™s friendā€™s cousin. you donā€™t even know how you got to this point, but after offering him a drink and busying yourself, your nerves simmered. it felt a lot more comfortable after that.
ā€œand then they said that she said that he got caught sexting not one, not two... but twelve other girls. then his girlfriend tried to burn his house down. and now sheā€™s in prison for attempted arson,ā€ you finished. levi lowered his cup after taking a long sip, and continued to stare with a blank expression. but despite his bored appearance, he was rather invested in this story.
ā€œthatā€™s rough,ā€ he commented.
ā€œi know right?ā€ you replied as you picked up your phone. you clicked to see the time. ā€œjeez, itā€™s already midnight.ā€
ā€œtch, is that your way of kicking me out?ā€ levi asked, smiling ever so lightly.
ā€œunfortunately, yeah. i have an 8am class tomorrow,ā€ you said, putting a little pout on your lip. ā€œwe should do this again, though. feels nice to just hang out with someone.ā€
ā€œisnā€™t that what weā€™ve been doing in the library?ā€ he questioned.
ā€œi donā€™t count me making you help me with shakespeare as hanging out,ā€ you explained.
ā€œthatā€™s fair.ā€ he shrugged.
ā€œalso, this is the first time you initiated being around me,ā€ you boasted, feeling pretty satisfied with yourself. ā€œthat means you think iā€™m fun.ā€
ā€œi never said that.ā€
ā€œwell, you being here says otherwise. sooo...ā€
ā€œwhatever, brat.ā€
levi stood from his spot on the end of your bed, handing you his empty cup. you stood as well, following him to the door.
ā€œi guess youā€™re okay,ā€ he offered. ā€œthis was okay.ā€
ā€œthat translates to, omg y/n is the best, theyā€™re sooo much fun,ā€ you teased, nudging your elbow against his. ā€œanyways, i guess iā€™ll see you in class on wednesday.ā€
ā€œi guess you will,ā€ he replied plainly, raising his hand to touch a strand of your hair, putting you in a state of shock. your mouth gaped slightly as you studied him curiously. after a few moments of silence, levi abruptly started leaning forward, your eyes widening. before you could react, his lips were against yours.
is this actually happening? you wondered. oh, my god itā€™s actually happening. this is real.
it took you no time to respond to the kiss, your eyes quickly fluttering shut. you hadnt been kissed a long time, and you remembered first kisses always being a little awkward as you both had to adjust to the way the otherā€™s lips moved. but there was no awkwardness. there was no needing to adjust; it was perfect.
his movements were surprisingly fast and needy, his hands moving to hold your jaw as both of your quiet, desperate noises were swallowed. your hands came up to grip his neck, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. you could feel little tingles everywhere he touched you, and a knot starting to form low in your stomach. you felt his tongue slip into your mouth as he moved his hands down to hold your waist, arching your back slightly. levi started to redirect you, pushing your back against the door, causing a loud thud against the wood.
ā€œy/n? what was that?ā€ a voice from the other side of the door called. your eyes flew open, seeing his steel eyes already looking back at you.
ā€œshit!ā€ you hissed. ā€œmy roommate.ā€ you pulled your face away and took a deep breath, your hands still holding leviā€™s neck, and his still gripping your waist. you gazed at him for a moment, admiring his features. you hurriedly leaned in again, giving him one final, quick kiss.
ā€œsorry! hold on!ā€ you finally responded to your roommate as they started turning the doorknob. the two of you let one another go, quietly stepping away from the door that started to open.
ā€œyou wonā€™t believe the night i-ā€œ your roommate started, but freezing once they saw levi. their mouth dropped open and they glanced at you, shocked.
ā€œsorry, he was just leaving,ā€ you said, rushing to push levi through the open door. you followed him out, closing the door behind you. you sighed loudly.
ā€œiā€™m sorry about that,ā€ you told him quietly. he shrugged and slid his hands into his pockets. ā€œi knew you liked me.ā€
ā€œyouā€™re okay,ā€ levi replied, his eyes holding a warmth you had never seen from him before. ā€œiā€™ll see you on wednesday.ā€
ā€œyeah, yeah, see you wednesday,ā€ you said, grinning as he turned around, making his way down the hallway.
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lesbixch Ā· 2 years ago
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Let me speak my truth . I really do think shion is a lesbian bc the way she talks about men is like SOOOOO incredibly self centered to me it reads like she literally wants the attention and love shes been craving ever since she got permanently relegated to being shion lol. like it does not read ā€˜i am attracted to men i like this guy for who he isā€™ it reads as ā€˜this boy did something nice for me my god im worthy of love i want to feel that care and attention againā€™ ITS SO . OHHHHHH SHION WE WILL GET U SOME THERAPY . OH GIRL WE WILL GET U SOME SELF WORTH.
like for shion, her first meeting with satoshi is a special wonderful event bc for the first time in YEARS someone stands up for her and takes literal blows and kicks to the face for her. This is the same girl that was locked away in a catholic boarding school against her will AND NOT A SINGLE FAMILY MEMBER TRIED TO STOP IT BTW. shes used to being second best, to her desires being stomped on, her agency being taken away, to being someone whos just NOT worth fighting for. so having someone think her worthy of the kindness of FIGHTING for her is so special to shion. again she doesnt love satoshi for who he is but for what he DOES for her. like she is the most unloved girl in the world she will take ANY scrap of attention and kindness she can get. like she fixated on satoshi patting her head for this reason shes so touch starved any kind gentle touch is a lifeline. its genuinely tragic
FOR SATOSHI. FOR SATOSHI that first meeting is just another tuesday that he puts his physical well-being on the line to help keep a girl safe. Him coming in between the bullies that wanted to beat shion up is quite literally a repeat of what he was doing for satoko day in and day out, putting himself between satoko and her abusive aunt. like its actually sooo fucked up lol? and shion does not even realize this is the thing !!! all thru out meakashi she lambasts satoko for being weak and letting satoshi take the brunt of all this abuse (and if I get into WHY shion hates satoko this much in meakashi Iā€™ll be here for 827949&2$ more words so let me keep it short) when SHION BASICALLY DID THE SAME during their first meeting!!!!!!!!! she let satoshi handle it!!!!!! she did the same thing satoko does and arguably some of her hate for satoko is projection on her part lmfaoooo ITS INCREDIBLY AWFUL AND I LOVE IT and i think its why i just cannot take shion being romantically into satoshi seriously . I just cant! in a sense shes too self absorbed (im saying this in the most loving way possible btw) to actually be into HIM as a person. like its already rough bc both of them are abuse victims who struggle w expressing themselves but shes asking for him to pay attention to her and fix half a lifetimes worth of neglect for her when hes literally in an abusive home himself. likeā€¦. *shaking shion from the shoulders* can you please think about how SATOSHI FEELS???
Later on in meakashi she quite literally reflects that maybe she didnt love satoshi and she just used him and for me that was like . THE nail on the coffin like MUCH THE SAME WAY that keiichi ignores satokos agency and kills teppei in tatarigoroshi without thinking about how SHE would feel, shion does the same thing with attacking satoshis little sister not once but TWICE. she feels SOOOO much guilt and she feels soooo helpless and powerless as shion the unloved little sister that she does anything AAANYTHING to try to ease her guilt and feel like she has control. she uses satoshi as a justification so often and just beneath that is her resentment and jealousy of mion, her hate toward her family, and most of all her self hate for how powerless she feels. shion is drowning in self hate it seeps from her every thought and word. its quite literally fascinating to read her arc because every second line she says, she means the opposite. you just cannot take her at her word for so many things and that kinda includes her attraction to menšŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
anyway shion lesbian. All the higurashi girls are wlws btw but i firmly believe shion is a lez . girl we will get u out of comphet hell so help me
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sipsteainanxiety Ā· 2 years ago
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< MERMAN BAKUGO 3 iā€™m so so in love with the way you write him!!!!!! youā€™re so right about katsuki being the type to do things on his own terms, even when it comes to forming relationships. also these are my favourite types of slow burn, iā€™m super impressed with the detail & the research that went into this!! the one part that sticks out in my mind is the part when katsuki doing his sketches in the journal ( which in and of itself is a mind numbindly adorable concept, big merman bakugou hunger over this little sketch book like a little kid is so cute, i loved that imagery ) but the part that made me take a second to just be like, woah, was the bit when you went out of the way to mention how the pressure of his pencil markings changed the more comfortable he got with using it. itā€™s a bit strange now that iā€™m writing it out, especially since everything else about this was SO good and heartwarming <33 but it made me take a moment to rly appreciate all the finer details, even something as small as that contributes to how it comes together & i just think it was a brilliant touch. you definitely have katsuki pinned down, everything from the way he speaks to his mannerisms just seems so natural for his character & i love this interpretation of him! the way you describe him too is just !!!!!! just big & powerful but ethereally pretty with a handsome grin, got my heart racing man <33 other little details like the genus and species of coral were really interesting! i looked up each one which was nice to have that added visual aspect which made it all the more immersive. merman bakugou is one of my favourite aus ever and you did just such a brilliant job, hands down one of my favourite bakugou fics now! canā€™t wait to read more of this of its a series because i cannot get enough of the way you write him my heart is in a FRENZY <33333
AWEEE THANK U FOR SENDING THIS IN <33 iā€™m glad you like it so much!! merman bkg my BELOVED i always want more fics for him but iā€™ve only seen like. 2 rly long ones out in the fanficverse. we need MORE!! the people are starving!!
admittedly it was lowkey rough thinking abt how heā€™d react to certain things. there were actions i wanted reader to take and ways i wanted bkg to react but i couldnt add them in bc it was just too early in their relationship yk? like. for instance, i wanted to add in a part where reader would towel off his hair for him so tht the water from it wouldnt drip onto the sketchbook but bkg would NEVER allow that and it seemed to early to let that happen. thats okay tho there will be other opportunities in the futureāœØāœØ
i am SUCH a sucker for small details so it makes me happy that you noticed them!! i wrote in that pencil bit after i did the doodle of the sketchbook at the end of the chapter so i was like ah yes, rough harsh lines and angles. it suits him anyways.
i did a lot of research for this fic in general LOL i wanted it to seem as legit as possible. admittedly some of the scuba diving details will probably not be all too accurate but the reefs and the experiment stuff should! i love the ocean and i did take a few classes that helped out with some of the more sciencey details!
iā€™d been writing bkg fic since 2018 so id hope that his characterization would be spot on LOL sometimes i go back to my older works and im likeā€¦ ew i wrote that? but i definitely feel like i have a more solid grasp of him now LMAO merbaku with his pretty face and scarred arms šŸ˜ŒāœØ i lov he
but yes thank you for sending this in!! im rly rly happy you enjoyed the first chapter so much!!! it only gets better from here!! šŸ’žšŸ’ž
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hitozy Ā· 3 years ago
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have you ever ā€¹ masterlist ā€ŗ denouement
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tw! manipulation, mentioned underage sex, dubious consent, cheating. i also want to point out that reader is around 2-3 years younger than Iwaizumi, while Jae and Iwa are the same age. ps. this is a long chp :)
š«šžš¦šØš«š¬šž š¢š¬ š¦šžš¦šØš«š² ššš°ššš¤šž
Iwaizumi has no idea of what has possessed him tonight. He doesn't know why he's walking around the city in the middle of the night a day before he should be on his way home.
He doesn't know why after the celebration he didn't follow his teammates. He doesn't know why he has barely answered your texts since after the game.
He also doesn't know why he agreed to go and see Jae, to hear her out.
He's been doing fine so far, seven months Jae clean and while the first three were bumpy; your company had made it easier to deal with. Your cheerfulness, your happiness, the adventures you've both have been planning have taken his mind off the broken heart he was nursing.
She continued to contact him, even when he begged her not to and blocking her phone was no use, she just got a new one and tried again and again. His resolve was diluted and he knew it would be a matter of time before he fell into his old habits.
lil jae: congrats on the win haji! let me invite you to a drink, im in town.
-
Iwaizumi recalls an old memory from back in high school, a few weeks before moving to California, you were sitting on his bed helping him organize his suitcase with 'essentials'. His clothes all over the place but as always, you showed enthusiasm at helping him out.
He remembers you giggling and calling him a dork while folding his Godzilla themed underwear and placing it inside his suitcase. He remembers the way you hummed some songs that you had just placed on your shared playlist because 'it's kinda your style' and it kinda is. He even remembers what you were wearing, a pair of black running shorts and a blue tank top. When you reached over the edge of his bed for his fallen socks, your cleavage was visible to his eyes, 'If a man ever peers down his shirt', he thought, 'I'll kill him without hesitating.'
But what he remembers the most is you pulling out an old shoe box from under said bed, a shoe box that held his most treasured things. Pictures from his childhood that matched the ones on your bedroom wall, doddles from your hand, your favorite flowers pressed inside a copy of your favorite book, short stories and poems, snippets of stories never finished from you. He'll never forget your teary eyes and happy smile when he took the box from you, emptying the contents carefully inside his backpack. The hug you gave him afterward still sets his heart on fire, nothing has ever been more lovely than you and your happy smile.
He also remembers Jae coming into his room right during your hug, wearing an empty smile on her face, her eyes red and raging. He's only ever seen her this mad whenever he's with you and he still doesn't get it.
She stay's to "help" when in reality all she does is glare at yn the whole time. It helps that you don't even mind the glares or the bad mood, joking that 'Jae's grumpy because we couldn't go to the movies today'.
It was late afternoon when you left, Iwaizumi had given you a bag filled with some of his stuff - things he knew you loved and adored, things he couldn't take. He watched you get inside your parents car and wave him goodbye, even though you both knew he'd be coming through your window in a few hours for movie night.
He remembers when he came back inside to find Jae naked on his bed. How angry she was and how she took it out on sex, the tension so palpable he could taste it. Once it was over, she walked towards his backpack and pulled out all of YN's things and that's when it clicked. She was mad because he was taking stuff about YN and not her, she made it clear when Jae told him, 'What the fuck is this.'
-
He remembers that hours later, he finds himself in your room squeaky clean and wearing nothing but his sweatpants and socks, his back against your front with his head against your breasts. He hadn't told you that Jae broke up with him, but he knew you had figured out he was sad because your arms cradled him since he got situated there and had not moved since.
How Jae said she wouldn't move with him in the end. How she had decided to stay in Japan and have him go to California all alone in the end, just because she wanted him to. How he begged her to come, to stay with him, to not leave him and how he watched her get dressed to go home. How she winked at him as she left with a, "Call me once you're in Cali."
How she only wants to go out when she knows he has plans with you. How she only cares about him when you're around or how messed up and used he feels ever since she took his virginity during your 14th birthday party.
He feels disgusting sometimes after sex with Jae, disgusted with himself on how wrong it is but how much he loves her still.
He didn't have to say any of that to you, the kiss on the forehead you just gave him eased it all away anyway.
-
He remembers all of this while he's kissing Jae in her hotel room, her dress and underwear discarded somewhere in the room, his cock buried deep inside of her like a starved man, Her nails racking down his chest from his unbuttoned shirt as she moaned at the feeling.
When Jae separates herself from him with half lidded eyes, she smirks, "I bet my little cousin can't even kiss right, the little virgin." She kisses the column of his neck, grazing her teeth against the skin, getting ready to mark him as hers and even though he doesn't agree with her, he stays quiet.
A memory burst through his mind as he pounds into Jae. The way your sighed his name when he settled himself inside of you, the way your nails scratched his back when he hit your G-spot, the way you moaned when his thumb circled your clit; your gummy, tight walls griped him as you came, with his name on your lips. Your soft, pillow lips that have only been his, only kissed him.
"Be safe out there, Hajime! I'll be waiting for you!" She smiled as she kissed him goodbye by the front door.
He turned to deepen the kiss, pulling her closer to him like a starved man, "Don't worry, I'm not gonna runaway, mochi."
As he walked down the steps of his house, he heard her say "I miss you already."
It's then that Iwaizumi snaps out of it.
He pushes her off of him and steps back until his back is against the wall, feeling disgusted with himself in a way he hasn't since they broke up.
"I can't do this, I won't do this, I-" he pushes himself off the wall, tucking himself in and picking up his stuff, "Never again, Jae."
Jae watches him leave, a sinister smile spreading across her face. Her gaze steady as his figure disappears into the night, "If you think you can just up and go, Haji, you are very mistaken."
She walks to where she hid her phone and chuckles as she presses send, "Lets see what my little cousin has to say, hmm?"
-
Iwaizumi was worried, it wasn't normal for you to not answer his calls or texts. He was on the road back home with the team, their ruckus would usually give him a headache, but right now? Right now he can't focus on anything except the little 'unread' mark at the bottom of his last text to you.
my one: mochi? r u ok? im on my way back home
-
He didn't expect to come back home and find you in the living room in silence. Your eyes rimmed red and puffy from crying, you didn't have to say anything for him to know what had happened.
Jae told you.
He wish he could be surprised, but Jae had been nothing but a devil all this time and he can't believe he never saw it until now. Until he married you, an angel.
"Mochi, I'm sorry. I'm very very sorry, please talk to me." He knelt at your feet, his hands on your knees trying to get you to look at him. His guilt crashing down brick by brick, he should have never gone out to see her.
"I know this means nothing to you, mochi. But I'll never see her again, only when its a family reunion or you're with me."
Silence.
"There is no excuse, but yn, please, look at me, let me explain."
She pushes him off a bit, without much force as if her sadness took away all her strength and his heart clenched. How could he do this to his best friend? Lie and lie, again and again and again.
YN-ā€
ā€œNo, STOP! You- you got your say, now itā€™s my turn.ā€ She's shaking and her breaths are short. She's starting to have a panic attack.
I get up and advance towards her slowly, ā€œYN you need to calm down. Here,ā€ I place my hand on her back, ā€œlet me-ā€
She pushes me off, her back towards me, ā€œPlease, donā€™t touch me. Please, please, please.ā€ She's sobbing and its hurts so so much.
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.
ā€œRemember your breathing exercises, mochi. In and out. Inā€¦ā€
Eventually her breathing normalizes but she still won't look at me and it takes all of my strength to not touch her.
ā€œAll I ever wanted was for you to love me, Hajime.ā€
Whoever said words can never hurt someone, has never been in my place. She just stabbed me without a knife and its more painful than I ever imagined.
ā€œI wanted you to love me, to see me as your wife, as a woman but you didnā€™t. You donā€™t and I- it hurts so much.ā€
ā€œBut, mochi, you said you would marry me so we didnā€™t end up with strangers.ā€
ā€œI know.ā€
ā€œThen why-ā€
ā€œI lied. Iā€™ve loved you since the moment you came into my life. Iā€™ve loved you for years, even before Jae came into the picture. Iā€™ve loved you so so so much, I love you so much.ā€
ā€œā€¦ you know about Jae? Since when?!ā€ I made the mistake of reaching out for her, she pushed me back and said nothing. The dread of her knowing, of her finding out before today makes me sick.
ā€œIf you knew then why did you marry me!? Did you think I would change? That my feelings would change? You know Iā€™m not like that.ā€
ā€œI do know. I- thought that maybe-, but then it was clear that nothing would change but, I made a promise to you and I said it in our vows.ā€
ā€œYN-ā€
ā€œI know the mistake is mine. I know what all the blame is mine to take, I know it and I accept it. Iā€™m sorry, Hajime, thatā€™s me that you have to stay with.ā€
She finally turns to look at me, but I wish she hadn't. The tears are flowing steadily down her cheeks to her neck. I did this to her, I hurt her again and again, without thinking. No, without watching. Because if I had paid attention to her like Jae did, I might have seen it sooner.
ā€œWe could get a divorce, you know. That way you can stop getting hurt. Stop your heart from breaking. You donā€™t deserve this.ā€
ā€œItā€™s okay. I- I give you permission to do it, to break my heart forever.ā€
ā€œā€¦What?ā€
She takes my hand, and in-between the tears she smiles at me as if her heart wasn't breaking in two. As if I didn't shatter her dreams for a few sloppy seconds, ā€œItā€™s okay, I know what I signed up for, I knew it from the beginning. I guess I just didnā€™t want to accept it. So go ahead, break my heart, break it into a million pieces! I give you permission, Iwaizumi Hajime, please just - donā€™t leave me.ā€
I can't say anything, what am I supposed to say? My sweet, sweet girl is hurt and damaged and all she wants is for me to stay. I feel disgusted in a way I never did with Jae, because instead of being used, I am using her.
I bring her into my arms, and say the only words that have actual meaning between us, "I love you, mochi."
"I- I'll do better, I promise. Please YN," He gripped her shoulders tightly, "Please forgive me, I'll do whatever just, I'm so sorry, baby."
He can feel the tears spilling onto his shirt, a scorching pain expanding through his chest at the consequences of his actions. He hurt the one person who didn't deserve it, who he promised to keep safe and happy.
"Hajime, please take a bath, I wanna sleep without the smell of Jae."
His heart dropped at her words, he forgot that he had just upped and left from Jae's, only changing his clothes for comfort. His skin still smelled like her. As he separated from her, he kissed her forehead, "Join me?"
-
He laid on the bed with her hours later, her head on his chest where he could see her puffy eyes. She had washed him thoroughly to the point were he thought she had scrubbed him raw, and he couldn't blame her - he wanted to do the same since the beginning.
He pulled her closer, practically on top of him and felt her heartbeat against his own. He had done something terrible and he needed to fix it, fix this. So he needed to take the first step.
to lil jae: for someone who says they love me, u sure like to make me miserable. i don't know why u hate yn so much and tbh i don't care anymore. i don't want to see u or talk to u ever again. if u contact me, i'm gonna get a restraining order, jae. i can't do this anymore.
to lil jae: goodbye jae.
do you wish to block this number?
yes.
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Remorse is memory awake, Her companies astir,ā€” A presence of departed acts At window and at door.
Its past set down before the soul,Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā  And lighted with a match, Perusal to facilitate Of its condensed despatch.
Remorse is cureless,ā€”the disease Not even God can heal;Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā  For ā€™t is His institution,ā€” The complement of hell.
Remorse is memory awake - Emily Dickinson
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taglist ! @daphnxy @zukoslosthishonorā€‹ @i-am-a-hoe-for-shinya @mrsdoradominguez-barnes @anejuuuuoy
a/n! *hands you all this and runs* i'll see you soon for chp11~
but in all seriousness, i wrote this chapter with my heart on my sleeve. love is truly the strongest curse and for it to be unrequired? imagine it.
now, i'm off to write the next part! and i am sorry :) ā™„
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tomdiddlyumptious Ā· 4 years ago
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Can u do a dad Tom holland x mom black reader where they have a 2 year old son ( Elijah ) and a 1 month old daughter (Ellie ) and his fans are being mean because your baby girl is darker than her big brother and Tom tells them to stop on a livestream but they donā€™t and he takes a break because he more frustrated than reader is . And the next day y/n go to Toms parents house and yā€™all talk about it and y/n sobs ending in fluff
YOU WONT BELIEVE THE SWEAT I HAVE DRIPPED FOR THIS ASK, I DID DO A LITTLE OVERBOARD, NICE ASK, NICE COCK šŸ‘šŸ½ OH AND I MADE A MISTAKE ABOUT THE NEXT DAY THING, I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE MOMENT
warnings: I DONT KNOWWW, NO SMUT BUT SƋX REFRENCES- FLUFF? AND CHILDRENN NOT PROOF READ BITCHES
T.H| TITTIESSSS
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Tom smiled as he posted the picture, cuddling into his small daughter as you took care of your son. You both werenā€™t really doing anything just binge watching Soul Eater because you refused to watch love island.
ā€œI donā€™t get this show, itā€™s terribleā€ ā€œyour terribleā€ you chuckled at him, noticing that Ellie was slowly starting to tear up. ā€œI think someoneā€™s hungry yeah? Come here Ellieā€ you cooed, Tom picking up the small child and placing her into your arms while he took Elijah, whos currently side tracked from TV, you pulled down your, Toms, oversized shirt to feed Ellie. Smiling as she sucked the soul out of you.
ā€œYou know-ā€œ ā€œwe canā€™t have sexā€ ā€œbut Ellie gets to get your nipples and I donā€™t?ā€ ā€œDo you want her to starve?ā€ ā€œNo I want to have sexā€ he clarified, rolling your eyes you placed some of her hair behind her ear.
Toms phone started to ding and he furrowed his eyebrows, he opened his phone and read the comments ā€œitā€™s the girl being darker then the boy for meā€ ā€œwhy is Ellie darker then Elijah?ā€ ā€œsheā€™s a cheater- I told you Tomā€ and some trying to defend ā€œy/n is literally darker then Tom, what did you expect? Iā€™m so sorry this is happeningā€ ā€œdid yā€™all really have to put the baby in this? We all know y/n doesnā€™t play about her kidsā€
ā€œWhatā€™s wrong Tom?ā€ You say, now playing with Eliā€™s hair. Tom only frowned at you ā€œIā€™m tired of people thinking that they know most, at this point itā€™s really annoyingā€ ā€œwhatā€™s wrong Thomas?ā€ You asked, more sternly as you pulled lee away, but she starts to cry some so you put her back.
ā€œNothing love, you hungry though?ā€ He asked, trying not to make you feel anyway at the moment. ā€œNo I want you to tell me whatā€™s wrong and right now Thomas, forrealā€ you made eye contact with him, raising an eyebrow. ā€œIā€™m not telling you y/nā€ he simply says, getting up forgetting his phone and walking into the kitchen.
ā€œI have to find out myself then!ā€ You yell, taking his phone and scrolling through your guessing comments?. You arenā€™t the one to scroll through his phone at any cost because you trust him entirely, but heā€™s pissed and you need to find out why.
Patting lees diaper you sequenced youā€™re eyes to read the comments, zendaya saying ā€œthey are both so cute! Where have yā€™all been be seen I need to come over, like right nowā€, Jacob B commenting ā€œlook at lil man!ā€ And others but as you continued to scroll down you found the negative ones.
Just reading them so fast as your blood line ran cold, you didnā€™t notice that Tom was coming back. ā€œY/n stopā€ he says, putting the glass of water down and reaching over Eli to take the phone but you snatched it back. ā€œIs this what they think of me? Of my kids?ā€ You say weakly, showing him the phone as your eyes started to water.
ā€œDonā€™t listen to them, we brought Eli and Lee for ourself, not for them. Letā€™s just take a-ā€œ his heart dropped as tears silently trailed down your cheeks, still reading the comments. ā€œYou are only making it worse, give me the phone Y/nā€ ā€œnoā€ ā€œgive me, the phoneā€ he said madly, not at you but at others. He reached all the way over, watching out for the kids and taking the phone without a fight.
You detached lee and fixed yourself, lifting your knee and placing her on the pad of your thigh wiping your tears and you took her small hands.
Tom only through his phone on the nightstand and turned off the TV ā€œwhat are you doing?ā€ You ask him, ā€œletā€™s take a nap yeah? Iā€™ll when we wake up Iā€™ll do a live or something to communicate with themā€ he took off his shirt and sat on the bed, sighing as you only seen the back of his head, he ran his hands through his hair, not letting them, his so called ā€˜fansā€™ get to him.
Tom laid down and threw the blankets over him, turning off the light and making it as dark as possible although it was only about 1 in the evening. ā€œI donā€™t think I can go to sleepā€ you say as he turns in your direction, ā€œthen try darling, I really donā€™t want us to be stressed out loveā€ he gave a smile, playing the the loose curls in Eliā€™s hair while looking at you.
ā€œYeah okayā€ you nod, Tom taking lee again while you took Eli. Eli smiled as he gave you a slimy kiss ā€œew!ā€ You smiled, you let out a sniffle and Eli frowned at it, kissing your nose. You giggled and wiped it off, noticing an arm around your waist trying to pull you closer you came closer, Toms hand going down to yours and putting his fingers in between yours as you did the same and gave a squeeze. ā€œI love you, y/nā€ he mumbles, his thumb brushing your knuckle. ā€œI love you tooā€
ā€œReady?ā€ He asked, you sitting next to him and the babies are sleep, you nod, ā€œreadyā€. He started the live, about two minutes in everyone started to join. He took your hand and smiled down at you, returning it you kiss his cheek. Sooner or later he had about 6-9k and he cleared his throat,ā€ Iā€™m pretty sure youā€™ve all seen the comments and Iā€™d like to ask all of you to stopā€ he simply asked, the comment bar flooded of hurtful words, they werenā€™t gonna stop anytime soon. ā€œLee is a child she doesnā€™t deserve to be treated this way, you not only hurting her your hurting my wife, MY wifeā€ he pointed to his chest ā€œyou also hurting me, y/n doesnā€™t do SHIT-ā€œ he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, rubbing his back.
ā€œShe doesnā€™t do shit but tries to show you how happy we are, for all of you saying that sheā€™s cheating she isnā€™t, sheā€™s been with me, do you see her skin?ā€ He asked, looking at you and kissing your cheek ā€œshe has color, I donā€™t of course Ellie is going to be darker then her brother, they arenā€™t fucking twins!ā€ He yells. He gets tired of it and pins one of the comments ā€œmaybe you should stick to your color and this wouldnā€™t of had to happen, you shouldnā€™t even be hereā€. ā€œThatā€™s the shit nobody should say, donā€™t talk to my wife like that you fuckin-ā€œ ā€œthatā€™s it Thomas you asked, calm downā€ you whispered, his face red as his jaw is clenched, he bites his lip as he apologizes ā€œIā€™m sorry, but please I just- Iā€™ve worked so hard and found love, I found a wife. It makes me mad that you canā€™t accept that-that I canā€™t be happy without one paparazzi and news about me, I want a break and I want a family, and now that I have one none of you support me- or mostā€ he refused to cry infront of them but is was heart clattering. ā€œI-byeā€ he simply says, grabbing his phone and ending the live.
ā€œYou did your best-ā€œ you get cut off by his phone ringing. His mom was calling, he instantly answered ā€œyeah mom- yeahā€ he sighed ā€œalright weā€™ll be overā€. ā€œThey want us to come overā€ he stood up and took your hand, pulling you up with him he gave you a peck on the lips. ā€œI love you Thomasā€ you wrap your arms around him. ā€œI love you to, and Iā€™m not going anywhereā€
You and Thomas walked to the door with one car seat each in your hands, he knocked on the door and was instantly met with Sam ā€œhey! Give them here-ā€œ ā€œwait give me lee!ā€ Harry said, running up and taking the car seat from your hand making you laugh, Sam took the other and they both walked off to the kitchen with distant talks like ā€œplease be my taste testerā€ ā€œI wanna take photos with you!ā€
Tom put the keys in your back pocket, walking in he called for his mom and she told them both to come to the livingroom. As you both walked dom sat up and gave you a hug while Nikki gave Thomas a hug. ā€œIā€™m so sorry about those twats, your children are so beautifulā€ he rubbed your back slowly.
ā€œThank youā€ you whispered, hugging him back tightly. He let you go and rubbed your arms as he gave you a sweet smile, soon treading and Nikki gave you a hug ā€œI love you and your children, we both support you so much and want you to know we are here for you, come sitā€ she stops hugging you and takes your hand, pulling you to the couch.
Tea was on the white coffee table and you and Tom sat on the mint grey couch, the couch you donā€™t touch if you live there. ā€œItā€™s just-ā€œ you sighed, Tom rubbing your back as you fought the tears. ā€œI love your son so much and to think that I would ever hurt him-or you guys in anyway is just so hurtful, and having the pressure of everyone going against me and our child- comparing them as if they can stick up for themselvesā€ you cried, you didnā€™t fight it. They are your family now, and forever will be. Tom didnā€™t like seeing you cry at all, it almost makes him cry, seeing you weep and vulnerable isnā€™t well for him because when he met you you were a strong, independent woman, and you still are but it hurts him too much.
ā€œYeahā€ dom nods, passing you a tissue and Tom takes it, pulling your face to him and patting under your eyes. ā€œBut they donā€™t matter, we are your family and we know from our hearts and our mind that you didnā€™t do anything wrongā€ Nikki weakly smiles, seeing you cry really is heart breaking, you just gave birth a month ago and depression is so severe. ā€œWe love you y/n, your child is our grandchildren no doubtā€ dom smiles, reaching over and holding your hand gently. ā€œI love you, you are so important to me, our children are so important to me, just all of us in general are so important to me, so important that Iā€™d quit anything for you, for my children, itā€™s us, a household, a familyā€ Thomas pulls you close.
Eli saying ā€œyum! YAY! More!ā€ In the background with Sam making you laugh, he ends up running to you with a spoon filled with pasta. ā€œTaste! Yummy!ā€ He smiles at you, his baby face and small teeth ā€œhurry mommy!ā€ You smile and open your mouth Eli feeding it to you and you hum in satisfaction. ā€œIt is yummy, who made it?ā€ You asked, ā€œI did! I helped samā€ Sam walked up to the livingroom, leaning on the wall. ā€œIā€™m coming!ā€ Harry yells, airplaning lee into the livingroom ā€œpshhhhhā€ Harry does sound effects, lee laughing making you all smile. Eli jumps in your lap and looks at your face ā€œwhy are you crying mommy?ā€ You let out a chuckle ā€œbecause I love all of youā€ ā€œlove you to mommyā€ he hugs you, Harry handing lee to you and hugging her back, Tom joining as Sam walks closer and sits next to you, resting his head on your shoulder and soon everyone is group hugging. ā€œUmm- your squeezing me!ā€ Eli whispers, everyone laughing as you all just take in the whole thing, happy that this is your new family, other then your other precious family also.
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gumnut-logic Ā· 3 years ago
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The Cane (Part 4)
@flyboytracyā€‹ā€‹ā€‹ asked:
Steampunk AU: five uses for a cane and one time Scott used it for its intended purpose šŸ˜˜
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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
Aaargh, those migraines messed with my muse on this one. Had to fight it the entire way and the cane reference is tiny. Hope you enjoy it anyway ::hugs to all::
Many thanks to @janetm74ā€‹ā€‹ā€‹ @tsarinatormentā€‹ā€‹ā€‹ and @scribbles97ā€‹ā€‹ā€‹ for all their help and amazing support of my crazy. And to @flyboytracyā€‹ā€‹ā€‹ for asking in the first place.
This be Steampunk AU with a mix of John snark, a little bit of wee!Tracys in a little bit of peril, some selfless Scott, and a reason you donā€™t want to mess with Five or her pilot.
-o-o-o-
4.
ā€œThis is very inconvenient.ā€
Scott stared at his brother in the dim light. ā€œIs that an attempt at impersonating Lady Penelope?ā€
John stared back, dust drifting haphazardly off his hard helmet and goggles. ā€œAs youā€™ve said many times yourself, there is no use in panicking.ā€
He had to give his brother that. A sigh and he assessed their situation yet again, shining his torch about the space they found themselves in.
They were in a basement. It was likely that they were lucky, as all indications were that if they had been in any other part of the building, they would not be having this conversation or any other any time in the future. The basement had a wall of solid bedrock on one side, the building having been constructed with that in mind with half the plumbing bolted into the rock. Unfortunately, the rest of the structure had been built on sand, which promptly liquified when the earthquake hit.
Speaking of earthquake. ā€œHow long do you think before the next aftershock?ā€
John pulled out his notebook, took a note of the time on the watch he had strapped to his wrist, and scribbled down some math. ā€œThey are very unpredictable, but Iā€™m hoping this last big one will give us some time. Or at least, Virgil some time to dig us out.ā€
Scott fiddled with his transmitter unit. There was no response on any frequency he attempted. Either the equipment was broken or something was stopping the signal from reaching his brothers. John had already pulled his apart and attempted a signal boost with no success.
They were both covered in dust, but fortunately uninjured.
But, for the moment, they were stuck.
Scott was not very good at sitting still.
ā€œWe may as well rest so we can be ready when needed.ā€
Scott grunted.
His brother ignored him and wiped off a large chunk of masonry with one leather-gloved hand and sat down. ā€œYou know Virgil will find us.ā€
Another grunt.
ā€œSit down, Scott. You can afford to take a minute to rest.ā€
He let out a breath and bit his lip, but with a sigh, he did as his brother asked.
There was silence for a moment, broken only by the sound of dust and rock settling.
ā€œWhy did you come back in?ā€ Johnā€™s voice was crisp, clear and calm.
ā€œYou were in here.ā€ Obviously.
ā€œBut now both of us are trapped, whereas if you had run like you should have, you could be assisting Virgil to dig me out.ā€
Scottā€™s lips thinned. What had been his line of thinking? Had there been a line of thinking? To be honest, all he could recall was the thought that John was under a building that was about to collapse and he needed saving.
His voice was a little rough. ā€œVirgil will get us out.ā€
ā€œHmm.ā€ John was not looking at him.
ā€œWhat did you expect me to do? Leave you here to die?ā€
Aquamarine turned calmly to catch his eyes. ā€œBetter than both of us.ā€
ā€œWeā€™re not dead.ā€
ā€œPure chance.ā€
John was always ever so direct.
ā€œBut important nonetheless.ā€
John sighed. ā€œReminds me of the well.ā€
Scott eyed him. ā€œReally? Youā€™re going to bring that up again?ā€
ā€œEternally, my dear brother.ā€ Johnā€™s smirk was exceedingly annoying. ā€œBesides, it passes the time.ā€
ā€œI would rather spend time finding a way out of here.ā€ Scott shot to his feet and began pacing around the space they were stuck in.
ā€œIf you disturb something that brings the rest of the building down on us, Iā€™m haunting you until the end of time.ā€
Scott slumped a little. His brother was right. Messing with the fragile pile was just asking for trouble. They were lucky to have room to breathe, much less walk around.
ā€œThis is the reason why you ended up in the well, Scott. You havenā€™t changed in twenty odd years.ā€
Scott glared at him. His little brother had been six at the time, Scott only ten. The two of them had gone beyond the borders of the Tracy farm in Kansas and into land they shouldnā€™t have. They were exploring. John, as always, was a little more cautious, but Scott was ever running ahead.
It was rather ironic that it was John who fell in the well.
It wasnā€™t long dug, but the planks covering it were flimsy and the winds from the previous day had obscured them. John had gone through them as if the planet had eaten him.
ā€œJohn!ā€
Scott found his little brother clutching his leg at the bottom of the hole.
It wasnā€™t a very deep well, but it was deep enough to put his brother out of the reach of a ten-year-old.
ā€œScotty, my leg hurts.ā€
ā€œIā€™ll get you out.ā€ He looked around for something to help John.
Perhaps he knew in some part of his mind that this could be the wrong decision. He had no rope and no real way to reach his little brother. He should get help.
But he couldnā€™t leave Johnny here on his own.
The thought was terrifying from both of their perspectives.
Perhaps he would have thought it a little less terrifying if he realised what could happen if he didnā€™t fetch help. Because once he found a long enough stick, he reached over the edge and while doing his best to add to the length John couldnā€™t quite reach, he fell in the hole on top of his brother.
There were groans and tears after that.
Scott didnā€™t hurt himself. John had been heard to comment on multiple occasions thereafter that it was because he landed on a cushion he called brother.
Scott countered that by saying he was lucky he hadnā€™t been impaled by a bony limb of said scrawny brother.
In any case, they huddled together for warmth for thirty-six freezing hours until someone finally found them.
By then, both brothers were dehydrated and starving.
The lecture from their father was almost as long as their time in the well.
Their mother, pregnant with Gordon at the time, took ill with the fright and there was some seriously scary time until the little fish was born a month laterā€¦a touch early.
Virgil wouldnā€™t let either of his brothers out of his sight for a good year after the incident. The nine-year-old obviously terrified they would disappear again.
It became legendary in the Tracy household for good or bad.
ā€œSo, youā€™re saying, I should have gone for help?ā€
Something clunked in the pile of rubble.
John arched an eyebrow. ā€œAs I said, you havenā€™t learnt. Yes, Scott, you should not have dashed back into the collapsing building. When Virgil finds out, heā€™s going to scalp you.ā€
ā€œIā€™m sorry that my first instinct is to protect my brothers.ā€
John rolled his eyes, both original and artificial. ā€œYour first instinct should be to protect yourself so you can protect your brothers.ā€
Folding his arms across his chest, Scott shifted his weight onto one foot, cocking his hip. ā€œFine. Then explain Bermuda.ā€
ā€œThat was different. That was saving lives.ā€
ā€œYou rammed a twenty-eight gunned frigate with Five!ā€
ā€œIt was firing on a sinking civilian target full of over two hundred passengers, including my four brothers. Grandma was not aboard. It was a fair decision.ā€
Scott had to admit it had been spectacular, the huge, blue-grey, manta-ray-shaped Five had reared out of the ocean and sliced the pirate vessel in half.
International Rescue had fished the survivors out of the water and there had been minimal casualties, considering.
Five had taken damage, but her cahelium superstructure was designed to withstand something as simple as a mostly wooden hull. Some gentle care from Virgil, an assessment from Hiram, and she was declared fit and well.
They had disappeared for a while after that as the rumours ran riot. Lady Penelope managed to smooth any ruffled feathers at government level.
Scott had both commended and roasted John alive.
ā€œYou could have been killed.ā€
ā€œSo could have you, and Virgil and Gordon and little Allie. Was I supposed to sit back and watch?ā€
Another clunk from somewhere in the rubble.
Scott arched an eyebrow. ā€œPerhaps, you know how I feel.ā€
ā€œOf course, I know how you feel. We all do.ā€
ā€œThen what is the problem?ā€
ā€œScott-ā€œ
But John was interrupted by another clank, this time clearly from one of the pipes against the wall.
ā€œVirgil?ā€ They both said it at once and hurried over to the rock face.
The clunk repeated itself and then started on a very familiar dot dot dotā€¦
S C O T T
He reached behind and pulled his folded cane out of its sleeve on his back. Its metal tip shone dull brass in the yellow light.
He only had to tap one letter. Dot dot dot dash.
V.
Three letters came back in a hurried jumble of excited hammering. F A B.
Thenā€¦S T A T U S?
J Ā A N D Ā S Ā  W E L L Ā A N D Ā M O B I L E.
S T A N D Ā B A C K ?
F A B.
Assuming Virgil was referring to the rock wall as the point of origin, the two brothers stepped as far back from it as they could.
Moments later a rumble and hiss of gears, the crash of breaking masonry and daylight suddenly shot through part of the rubble. This was quickly followed by a massive but familiar brass claw reaching in and grabbing a large chunk of rock, disappearing with it. A crunch of gravel, shove of rockā€¦a shout. ā€œScott, are you in here? John?ā€ Their goggled and fully armour-suited brother pushed the rest of the way through the pile of broken building, both claws fully extended.
ā€œOver here, Virgil.ā€
Their brotherā€™s head turned in their direction and metal shoulders sank in relief. ā€œOh, thank god.ā€
Something shifted in the rubble pile and Virgil reacted, his right claw slamming into the chunk of masonry threatening to fall. ā€œLetā€™s get you out of here.ā€
Scott didnā€™t need to be told twice as the remains of the building creaked around them in warning. Grabbing Johnā€™s arm, he hustled his brother out through the gap past Virgil.
The engineerā€™s eyes on the both of them.
No doubt there would be a medical examination in their near future.
Shoving John gently ahead of him, Scott turned to keep an eye on Virgil.
His metal clad brother stepped back carefully, letting rock fall in his wake.
Then, as if the final domino had been tipped, the entire pile began collapsing in on itself.
Scott took a step towards Virgil only to have his arm yanked on from behind.
ā€œDamnit, Scott protect yourself!ā€ John dragged him through the remains of the rubble as a cloud of dust roared behind them.
ā€œVirgil!ā€ He dug his heels in, fighting Johnā€™s hold.
ā€œHeā€™s wearing his armour, Scott. You are not! Move!ā€
It went against everything. He had to protect his brothers first. But John was right. Neither of them was wearing enough protection. Virgil was.
He had to trust.
Trust that Virgil knew what he was doing.
When put in those terms the answer was simple. Of course, he trusted Virgil.
Perhaps it was fate he had issues with.
John dragged him clear of the building and the cloud of dust. Two, nestled on her landing struts, was a wonderful sight.
And then Gordon was grabbing at him. Alan was yelling his name and there were dusty hugs and clunking helmets.
But still the cloudā€¦
ā€œVirgil?ā€
As if summoned, his brother strode out of the haze, cogs whirring and pneumatic systems hissing, metal glinting in the sun. His goggled eyes searching until they latched onto his brothers.
Thank god.
A matter of strides and he enveloped his engineer brother in a hug, metal suit and all. ā€œThanks, Virg.ā€
His brother exhaled in a huff. ā€œWhat on Earth were you thinking?ā€ And so began the rant about worrying about a brother encased in metal when a building is falling when he wasnā€™t and could have been killed with a single rock. You idiot.
It went on for some time.
John smirked at him for the entire tirade.
-o-o-o-
Next
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spencergourdgourdler Ā· 4 years ago
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sleepovers (chapter 1) (Spencer Reid x Reader)
Summary: Spencer and profiler!reader seem to be sleeping over at each others places a lot.Ā 
Next Chapter
cw: alcohol?? and none other than that
A/N: This is my first fic ever and I am nervous!! This will be a multiple part series and you will have it all: fluff, smut, and a lil angst. Hope you enjoy and please let me know if i need to add anything to the cw list!
word count: 2k :)
ā€œHere you go, a glass of water for you and a glass of wine for me.ā€ you said as you place his Lego Movie glass down on his desk. Spencer didnā€™t raise his eyes from the case file he has been reading but didnā€™t hold back on his comments.
ā€œYou really should drink more water Y/N,ā€ which you replied, faking an offended voice. ā€œHey, I drink enough water, okay?ā€Ā 
ā€œFunny you say that, because I actually have been keeping track of your water intake. You drank 1.26 litres of water today and with your daily intake of 2 cups of coffee, several cups of tea and well, alcohol I can guarantee you that isnā€™t enough.ā€ Spencer said as he smirked proudly.Ā 
You rolled your eyes at his smug face. ā€œHow- ugh fine Spencer, I will drink more water,ā€ you admitted . ā€œAfter I drink this glass of wine.ā€ It was your turn to smile now.Ā 
He furrowed his eyebrows and turned to the case file he was studying while you finally got to relax and turn to your book on his nice sofa.Ā 
You have been doing this with him a lot. Hang out. Casually. In silence. You guys would come back from a case, you would carpool to yours or his place and then watch a movie, have dinner (or breakfast, depending on what time you guys land in D.C) or this. You would relax together, enjoying each other's company silently.Ā 
It started after a very hard case, not long before you started and the resident genius offered to take you home because he assessed that you would probably break down, said something along the lines of how dangerous it is to drive while crying. He wasnā€™t the best or the most experienced driver out there but he wanted to make sure you got home safely.Ā 
You were very shaken up that day, not having seen a brutal murder-suicide happen before your eyes in your life, so you took up his offer and followed after him to the parking lot. Both of you walked quietly to your car and when you got to it you just stood there.Not moving a muscle, just out of it. Spencer was sure he made the right choice to offer his help. Spencer slowly raised his hand and touched your arm slowly. ā€œY/N, the keys.ā€ You were so zoned out that you flinched when he touched you.
ā€œItā€™s okay, Iā€™m sorry Y/N, itā€™s just me. Can you hand me the keys?ā€ said Spencer with the softest voice he can make. ā€œOh, sorry,ā€ You said with a dead tone then started scrambling through your bag. You couldnt find them. You were sure you were hearing the jingling sound they made as they rolled around your bag but you couldn't get your hands on them for the life of you. Thatā€™s when you started crying.Ā 
Spencer wasnā€™t the best when the case was touching people but he had to get you out of that parking lot and get you to the safety of your home. He shook his hands to remind himself that you were a clean person and he could touch you, then reached for your handbag. He slowly took it out of your hands and put it on the hood of your car.Ā 
ā€œSpen-- Spencer- Iā€™m- Iā€™m really,ā€ you tried to apologise in between you sobs.
ā€œY/N, shh, Iā€™m right here and you have nothing to be sorry about,ā€ Thatā€™s when he wrapped his arms around you and you started sobbing on his very nice sweater vest. He had put one hand on your back that he rubbed softly and one on your head that pushed into his chest like he was trying to get you to hide in there. He didnā€™t even realise how naturally affectionate he was, but you did.Ā 
The waterfalls that are your eyes were still running but you calmed down a little and the embarrassment of getting your mucus,ugh, on your very new colleague was starting to dawn on you.
ā€œSpencer, Iā€™m fine, letā€™s just go home, okay?ā€ You managed to muster out while you squeezed yourself out of his embrace and tried to hide your face from him. You reached for your bag and once again out your hands into it looking for your keys. There they were, stuck underneath some papers that you threw in your bag.Ā 
Spencer stood there, doubting himself. Did he cross the line? Was hugging you unprofessional? Did he make you uncomfortable? He had once read a research about hugs calming down the sympathetic nervous system under distress so he tried to help you calm down a little. It wasnā€™t his intent to make you uncomfortable. Oh god, he thought to himself, now Y/N thinks Iā€™m weird too.Ā 
He was pulled out of his little freak out by Y/N handing him the keys. He pushed his lips together in a really awkward smile and started stepping towards the driverā€™s side.
The drive was pretty weird. He drove too carefully and there was his colleague silently crying in the next seat to him. His mind was still swarming with the ideas of him doubting his choice of hugging Y/N, her quiet voice took him out of it. ā€œSpencer, I canā€™t thank you enough. You really helped and I know Iā€™m not very good with words but I really do appreciate this.ā€Ā 
Spencer was shocked. He wasnā€™t expecting this. He wasn't expecting a talk at all. So he stammered trying to answer her. ā€œUh, yeah- yeah, sure,ā€Ā 
While his conscious mind was going between doubting himself and oh shit, sheā€™s crying, what do i do, his subconscious mind had led him to his house. He realized it when he was at the last traffic lights before home.
ā€œY/N, Iā€™m afraid I drove all the way to my house,ā€
She raised her head from her hands on her knees slowly and looked around her, clueless. Spencer was quick to apologise. ā€œIā€™ll turn around at the next U-turn and weā€™ll get to your place. What's your address?ā€
You didnā€™t want to bother him driving all this way and back, also you were starving and sleepy. ā€œSpencer, if you donā€™t mind, can we go up to your place? I donā€™t really wanna bother you with driving all the way to mine, also I am so tired and I assume you are too?ā€
Y/N kept surprising Spencer tonight. ā€œYeah, yeah thatā€™s fine- Yeah, we can order takeout too, yeah, yes.ā€ She almost giggled at his nervousness.
He pulled up to the parking spot of his apartment complex and you two silently walked up the stairs to his apartment. He welcomed you in, ā€œSo, this is my place, ugh so sorry this is very messy,ā€Ā 
Spencer was very skittish about touching people and letting people into his place. He did both of them with you that night and he was weirdly okay with it.Ā Ā 
ā€œItā€™s perfectly fine Reid, hell, looks a lot neater than mine honestly.ā€ You smiled while you awkwardly stood in the entrance. Spencer had already taken his coat off and was walking into the depths of his house. He kinda yelled from across the house, ā€œPlease come in Y/N, I will be there in just a second to take your coat. What do you wanna eat? I know this Indian place that makes great chicken tendoori that delivers.ā€ His voice was getting closer and closer while he got back to his living room.Ā 
ā€œSpencer, I am a vegetarian.ā€ you said while he took your coat and hung it over a chair.
ā€œOh, sorry, I somehow didnā€™t know, but they should have vegetarian items on the menu, let me go find it for you. Do you want a drink? I have water, coffee, all kinds of tea you can ask for annnd,ā€ He was scrambling through his kitchen cabinets now. ā€œWine, yeah, what can i get you?ā€Ā 
ā€œWine would be nice,ā€ you kind of yelled from the living room. You did not want to yell but you also didn't want to follow him around or go looking for him, invading his place.Ā 
He came after a few minutes, a glass of water and a menu, you assumed, in one hand and your glass of wine in the other.
ā€œHere you go, a glass of water for me and a glass of wine for you, are you sure you donā€™t want a glass of water?ā€ He put the classes on the coffee table and handed you the menu. ā€œWhile Iā€™m not completely sold on the idea of you drinking before dinner, what do you wanna get Y/N? I can also call the pizza place thatā€™s close and we can get all the toppings youā€™d like.ā€ When you thought he stopped talking and opened your mouth, he started to ramble again. ā€œIā€™m sorry I know I said we could get all the toppings you wanted but I have issues with grouped foods and can we maybe stick to the basics and get a mushroom pizza?ā€ He was embarrassed but you smiled so widely that his embarrassment washed away and his chest filled with relief.
ā€œYeah, Reid, Iā€™d like that.ā€Ā 
Thus began your sleepovers. That night he had given you a spare toothbrush, some of his clothes, clean towels for your shower in the morning, and his bed. Genius took the couch that night, ā€œThatā€™s the least I can do,ā€ he said, even after all he had done for you. You would much rather have him beside you but you would never admit to that and he would never agree to it anyways.Ā 
Second time you two had a sleepover, it was Reid who was struggling and you offered your sweet but lonely home to him. This kept going on between you two, there were rarely nights where you slept at your place alone.Ā 
Spencer called you from his grocery store run one day, asked you about your shampoo brand. And would you rather use a vanilla or lavender body wash.Ā 
You texted him asking about his after-shave and razor brand he uses after he slept over at your place and had to go to work with a scruff. You felt bad for people making fun of him and his ā€œbig boy beardā€.Ā 
Spencer was really glad, while he didnā€™t have a lot of affectionate relationships like this, he didnā€™t mind having you around at all. You were really glad, you didnā€™t go to bed in a lonely house, that you made really good friends with Dr. Spencer Reid.
You finished your wine while flipping pages on your book and your eyelids started to feel heavy. ā€œSpencer, Iā€™m really sleepy,ā€Ā 
He had moved to the end of the couch with you, you were lying down but your legs were barely close to him.
ā€œIā€™ll be done in just a second and Iā€™ll let u sleep Y/N,ā€Ā 
You were feeling the wine and you felt courageous that night. You carefully got up to your knees and crawled towards him on the sofa. When you got to him you slightly nudged his arm to let you in and he lifted his arm to embrace you. ā€œOh, hi,ā€ he said. ā€œI thought you were sleepy.ā€ Was there a smile in his voice or were you just hearing things? ā€œYeah, and I am using my favorite pillow.ā€ Stupid wine talk.
He chuckled slightly to my words. ā€œOkay, letā€™s go to bed, I was almost done anyways. I can finish it up tomorrow.ā€ Now, you felt bad for interrupting his work. Stupid wine.
ā€œOh, no, no, nooo! I can wait for you to finish, really, look! My eyes are all open,ā€ You opened your eyes wide while you looked up at him in his arms. He chuckled again. Oh, that chuckle. Stupid wine.
ā€œYou look a little flushed.ā€ Spencer said while dragging his hand over your flaming cheeks softly. ā€œYeah, wine does that.ā€ No, Spencer does that, Y/N, donā€™t lie to yourself.Ā 
His eyes were looking into yours so tenderly that you debated if this was a dream or not. Then something happened that raised your suspicions of dreaming.
He slowly put his lips on yours. Oh, stupid wine.Ā 
Next Chapter
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kiss4kazu Ā· 4 years ago
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Hi! could I request some headcanons for what kissing Ashe and Dimitri (Felix too if thats not too much if not its fine) would be like for the first time?
ā˜† first time kisses with ashe, dimitri, felixĀ 
ā†³ ashe babie boyĀ 
although ashe is really innocent and pure i think heā€™s easily one of the most romantic in blue lions and would really go above and beyond always for the person he loves.Ā 
i know a lot of people probably see ashe as someone being too reluctant and nervous to actually ever make a move first but i think if he really liked someone, heā€™d be extremely obvious about it, blushing like crazy, a stuttering mess, etc and after enough pep talks from sylvain heā€™d finally make a move to ask u out on a date and it would be an absolute wreck.
would literally put together something so fckin cheesy n corny but in the most adorably ashe way that it makes you want to punch him from being so precious
like a cute picnic or something by a lake and heā€™d make cute little cakes with some help from annette and it would just be so pure.Ā 
heā€™d rehearse how heā€™s going to confess in his head like a million times but when the moment actually comes it ends up just being a jumbled up mess filled with ā€œumsā€ and heā€™d try to stick to the script him and sylvain came up with and get out a ā€œy-youā€™re r-reallyā€¦ u-uhā€¦ p-pretty..ā€ but then heā€™d fuck it all up by saying something weird n dorky like ā€œa-and you s-smell really niceā€¦ w-wait thatā€™s weird iā€™m sorry-ā€ and youā€™d just hold back ur laughter, ur heart swelling with so so much affection for him.Ā 
ofc heā€™d ask for permission to kiss you, cheeks crimson and his eyes looking up at yours like tht one starry eyed emoji. youā€™d give him a vocal response, since he rly needs that reassurance. no stutters just ā€œof course asheā€ and heā€™d smile so so big and then just swoop down totally uncoordinated.Ā 
would probs miss your lips and have to readjust.Ā 
kissing ashe for the first time would be ā€¦ messy. heā€™s not experienced at all, and doesnā€™t know what to do with his hands and heā€™d honestly be a dead fish for a good few moments. but as you ease him more into the kiss, heā€™d loosen up a bit, tilt his head and just stop overthinking. his lips would be really warm and would taste so sweet from the cake and heā€™d smile so hard into the kiss that your teeth end up bumping into each other and youā€™d pull away laughing
ashe kisses are the best honestly the butterflies fireworks the whole shebang yknow.Ā 
as he gets more confident heā€™d probably try out a few things heā€™s seen in books like slipping his tongue in and would be completely taken aback by just how nice it feels. would probably whine into the kiss, cradle your face in his hands, and once you guys pull apart for some air heā€™d just breathe heavily against your lips with the dopiest smile on his face :( <3Ā 
heā€™d be rly slap happy after kissing you for the first time and would probably tackle u onto the picnic blanket laughing from happiness kissing your face everywhere and showering you in compliments, shoving his face into ur neck and just breathing in ur scent.Ā 
heā€™s very clingy ok.Ā 
ā†³ dimi !!
whew. ok so weā€™re gonna do academy phase dimi since feral dimi is uhā€¦ probs not sfw & violent skjdfjslkjfdĀ Ā 
academy phase dimi knows NOTHING about kissing n he has 0 experience so it takes him forever n a day to finally get the balls to kiss u and when he does ā€¦ whew.Ā 
i can imagine kissing dimi to be during like , a deep convo or something late at night, when heā€™s having trouble sleeping or something and ur just running ur fingers through his hair, listening to him as he vents and admiring the sound of his voice bc heā€™s always more talkative at the dead of night when heā€™s sleep deprived.Ā 
heā€™d just look at u so so lovingly and it would be suffocating and ur just staring at his lips but u know ur probs way in over ur head bc uh heā€™s the future king of faerghusĀ 
but then heā€™d ask for permission too like ashe tbh bc heā€™s just polite like tht and has too good mannerismsĀ 
plus he cares a lot about your comfort and would never want to make u feel unsafe or uncomfy especially by his doing
and you would nod with quickness n heā€™d waste not a second to connect ur lipsĀ 
kissing dimi is like a trance tbh, type of kiss that feels like something in u is short-circuitingĀ 
literally the type of kiss that makes ur knees buckle u know the ones.Ā 
heā€™s a rly rly good kisser n it makes no sense bc heā€™s literally never kissed anyone before in his life n it kind of makes u mad bc why is he perfectĀ 
a rly rly passionate kisser and he can be kind of rougher than he intends to bc heā€™s not good with fragile thingsĀ 
clearly v dominant in the kiss, one hand with an iron grip on ur hip the other tangled up behind ur neck, gripping ur hair. after a while gets reluctant and starts to overthink things and pulls away apologizing for being too rough
youā€™d probs have to reassure him a million times tht its okay dimi ur not hurting me!!Ā 
heā€™s rly touch starved tbh so he always tends to take pecks into full-blown makeout sessions or when he intends to just kiss ur forehead he ends up kissing ur cheeks too, ur jaw, down ur neck just riling himself up tbh and then he finallyĀ  looks up at u with his eyes all dark n ur just like ā€¦ here we go
did i mention he groans a lot during kisses bc he doesĀ 
dimiā€™s other sides shining through when his emotions overwhelm him is just .. dimitri 101.Ā 
heā€™s rough, seemingly an expert at this shit, his tongue shoving past your lips and completely taking u off guard. heā€™d literally kiss you so hard your head would spin and heā€™d do it all with a blush on his face bc heā€™s still a shy babie.Ā  as soon as the moment is over heā€™s back to stuttering n being all awkward boyish prince.Ā 
heā€™s also the type to shower u in compliments between kisses.
kisses lips ā€œyouā€™re so gorgeousā€ smooches neck ā€œso amazingā€ kisses jaw ā€œgoddess i love youā€Ā 
im scream crying
ā†³ felix too bc WHY NOT ! i love himĀ 
listen.Ā 
this little fucker kisses the life out of people u heard it here first folks.Ā 
heā€™s 100% a heat of the moment type of kisser. it could go two ways tbh. like if you got hurt or something on his behalf heā€™d scream at you with glossy eyes for a good 5 minutes and then just stare at you all >:( and then heā€™d just grab you andĀ  kiss the fuck out of you.
probably the most passionate kisser out of the three, he kisses to the point where u canā€™t feel ur toes and stuff heā€™d just completely indulge without any fucks given bc he almost lost you and heā€™s not good with explaining his emotions so hopefully this helps you understand.Ā 
the other way i can see a first kiss going down with felix is more.. vulnerable, despite his hard exterior. he is rough and mean but itā€™s not bc heā€™s genuinely a bad person he just has walls built up so high tht its impossible for anyone to rly climb overĀ 
to get a kiss from lix, u definitely have to have climbed over tht wall of his, or just fly a wrecking ball through it n send it crumbling to the ground
youā€™re literally the only exception, the only person who can rly get through to himĀ 
heā€™d probably turn to you for comfort a lot, when dimitri agitates him with memories of glenn or his dad says something that ticks him off and he wants to punch something heā€™d just go to you instead, knock on ur door and just waltz in like he owns the place, sitting down on ur bed and u would know he wants cuddles bc this is how felix communicatesĀ 
if he had to actually say ā€œi want cuddlesā€ out loud heā€™d probably shoot himself in the foot with an arrow so heā€™s glad u understand, u always understand him just by looking at him n itā€™s reassuring bc heā€™s never been good with words.
its kind of cringe to him that he likes being held but shocker he likes being heldĀ 
he also rly rly likes it when u play with his hair heā€™s like a cat he will literally start nuzzling into you, so warm and pliant to your touch
ok im getting distracted back to the kissing shit
felix would probably just be rly overwhelmed with emotions n he doesnā€™t rly know how to tell u ā€œi like uā€ so he just says ā€œim going to kiss you.ā€ like a literal statement n then he does it n ur just like o-o bc wtf.Ā 
if ur not responsive at first heā€™d just pull away after a while and wouldnā€™t meet eyes with u and be all blushy.Ā 
would let out a tch like the little shit that he is, and u have to turn his face so heā€™s properly looking at u again and meeting eyes with uĀ 
he looks so vulnerable and stupidly gorgeous so u kiss him this time so he knows the feeling is mutual and itā€™d take him a min to really gather whats happening but once he does heā€™d literally. suck. the. life. out. of. your. face. period.Ā 
felix kisses r rough n messy n just completely self-indulgent and he groans shamelessly when u pull his hair tie out from his bun and tug at his hair yes i have a thing for felixā€™s hair leave me alone.
gives 0 fucks would literally shove his tongue down your throat pull you flush against him and he always calls sylvain insatiable but rly its this fucker whoā€™s insatiable he is literally eating your face.Ā 
youā€™d have to pull him away from you and heā€™d just pant so hard against your lips and look at you like he wants to devour you and its kind of overwhelming bc heā€™s fucking hot !!!!!Ā 
would shove his face into ur neck and mumble out an ā€œi like youā€ Ā and u would tease him n be like ā€œwhat did you say i cant hear u?ā€ and heā€™d elbow u in the ribsĀ  and groan into ur neck and u would laugh n kiss his head, telling him u like him too
at tht heā€™d lift his head up, his hair falling over his amber eyes and u would just push the strands away from his face and kiss him softly one last time before going back 2 ur conversation about punching sylvainā€™s face or sumn
anyway i love felix thanks 4 coming to my ted talk.Ā 
requests are open! <3
- viviĀ ā˜…
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