#anyway had to fill out gov forms for work
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the two tiers of people allowed to use my birthname are: the government (derogatory), and transsexuals (complimentary)
#anyway had to fill out gov forms for work#and told my boss i don’t want anyone to know my birthname#so he put them in an envelope for me#so no one hanging out in the office will see it#there’s also certain non-transsexuals who are allowed to use it but they know who they are.#(faggots)
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Autism Assessment Update (bc it's been almost 3 months since I mentioned it haha oops) (it's a novel. you've been warned.)
tagging @examishbookwyrm bc they did comment on my autism assessment post I made in MARCH!! n i didn't respond...(adhd moment) get honourable mention'd.
--- SOOOO. BIG ASS PERSONAL LIFE UPDATE!!! I have... literally the worst news? Like the worst-worst news I think I will ever share. So imma start from the beginning :> [I detail everything about the assessment in this post. The process, the assessment itself, and the after.]
So. This is part of the NS Pilot Program for assessing people who were going to age out of the early-childhood-assessment waitlist (because hey! it is a 5 year long wait! haha!) which was led by NS Health and the Gov. of Canada (who paid for all the assessments.) It's safe to say that NOBODY is happy! (if you look it up you will find articles on how... awful it's been. Also if you look up articles I might have left out details bc my brain is VERY SPOTTY bc i am enraged) but anyway,
The first part of this is they had been calling my mom during the day; my mother had been working days. So she wasn't picking up. And they weren't answering her calls back or her messages! Already a big red flag. Because they can't get ahold of her they call me. Me! The person they're going to assess, who, at the time, was 18, and perfectly capable of consenting, as an adult, and taking care of their own medical records and appointments and such. They go "Hello, is this (deadname's) mom?" And I go "This is (deadname); and my name is [Chosen]" and they go "Oh, Well. Can you get your mother to call us?" And I said in a tone I believe was very clearly annoyed bc wtf? "Oh, no, you can tell me whatever you're going to tell her!" They tell me "Well we're looking to get you into the NS pilot program for autism assessments" yada yada "is that something you'd be interested in?" And me being me (poor and reasons to think I'm autistic and being on the waitlist) go "yeah!" AND THIS FUCKING WOMAN GOES "ok then get your mom to call us. this is the date. we need her to confirm." and I go "...why?" and they go "we just need to talk to her." and I go "...why can't you just talk to me?" and she just repeats herself so I go "um. ok. well. you have a good day? bye?" and hang up. So i'm simmering; bc I am literally an adult. I don't need my mom. I should be treated like an adult and I'm getting infantilized. I got the woman's name and # so I give it to my mom. It takes another month to get a date for the assessment approved bc they STILL WONT ANSWER HER CALLS OR MESSAGES.
My mother was required to do two prerequisite assessments a week or two before my in-person one. One over the phone and one over zoom. I am above the age of 16 (as stated) and perfectly capable of consent and being an informant. (you are legally allowed to consent to a majority of medical assessments in NS when you turn 16 w/o alerting ur parents, and clearly allowed to do that over the age of 18 as that is age of majority.) So i'm just miffed. They tell her not to tell me anything. She says fuck that (thank the gods) and so she tells me things they tell her. So the night before the assessment I help her with the form they MAKE HER FILL OUT before the assessment like "when did your child start walking/running" "when did they learn to ride a bike" "when did they start talking/writing" stuff like that. and I go ok. sure. autism can show in early childhood, it's a neurological developmental disorder. I get it. Even though autistic individuals can have average, slowed, or accelerated development (IT'S ALMOST LIKE ITS LITERALLY CALLED AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER) There's a question that catches me off guard. "what is your child's dominant hand" ...i'm sorry. back it up. *Yes.* There are studies that say many people who have ASD are left handed or ambidextrous. But oh. My. Gods. Above. THAT IS NOT GROUNDS FOR DIAGNOSIS; and you can also ASK THE KID during the assessment! What kind of question?! [I am right-hand predominant but I am ambidextrous.]
I move on.
I go into the assessment. On the table; the dr's introductory sheet in a photo frame. His title sits atop the document with a head, MADE OF BLUE PUZZLE PIECES alarm bells alarm bells alarm bells oh my fucking god help me jesus christ please help me i promise i'll believe in you if you help me right now please please plea "Hi!" A woman greets us, sitting in an office with the door open. I don't know her name. She doesn't stand from her desk. "I'll be with you in a moment." I laugh awkwardly. My mom says ok as the woman shuts her door. I tell my mom "I hate it here; can we go home?" Because I genuinely feel unsafe; I'm shaking. She laughs softly and goes "It'll be okay." So I put a brave face on bc I love my mom and she's nice and wait for the lady. She calls us in a few minutes later. I don't remember her introducing herself. I don't remember her offering a handshake or any other "polite" gesture. That would be something important to do, and I would have remembered it. She tells us how long it will be and a lay down of what's gonna happen and asks MY MOTHER FOR CONSENT TO FILM ME. Not ME for consent to film ME, an 18 year old. My mom turns to me confused and asks me if I'm okay with it instead. I go "yeah." (I was not okay with it); the woman told us the assessment would not happen if they could not film it. So I agreed; giving *assent* rather than *consent* was something I was pissed off about then and there. The woman asks HER if she'd like to stay so my mom asks ME if she wants me to stay, I hug my mom after I ask her to leave because I'm an adult and can handle myself. I don't need my mom to be there. I sit down. I have my pompompurin stuffed animal with me and a messenger bag with pens and stuff in it because I know there are things to write and don't like using other people's things. She doesn't ask about the bag. She sets up the camera and such, explaining that she'll have to occasionally turn to her laptop to make sure the recording is still going. I have pompom in my lap along with a fidget while she talks. She says something along the lines of "um, you'll want to put that away, you'll need your hands." And I go, rather firmly, something along the lines of; "I'll put it away when I need to use my hands. I am focusing on you right now." To which she seems surprised and goes "um... okay, that's fine." And continues on. (Was she not expecting an adult to have clear boundaries and be able to state their needs?) She offhandedly mentions something about [Dr] perhaps coming in to see me at some point during the assessment. My heart drops. She's not the doctor? She isn't the psychiatrist? What the hell?
The assessment begins. They're giving me tests for children, she said she made it harder. I disagree. I find the tasks easy. Simple games/puzzles. I tell her I like puzzles. She keeps throwing positive affirmation at me; I become annoyed with it after awhile because I know she's only doing it to make me continue doing the activity. It's common for people who work with children. She is infantilizing me. I know I was thinking it subconsciously.
The tests are not geared towards my age range, I notice immediately. I become miffed, going "these are too easy for me so far" or something to that effect. She laughs at me. I become upset. We start the reading part of the test. I read to show reading speed and comprehension. I read out loud to show my pronunciation. I read words that don't exist to show my reasoning skills when it comes to language. I am in my 5th year of high school (I struggle with school). This task is mundane and annoying. I feel like I am in third grade. I feel infantilized. I feel like the tests aren't going to be accurate. I am annoyed. I do it fast as I can to get it over with. Some of the reading pieces she makes me do multiple times.
We begin the mathematics part. I am not good at mathematics. She has upped the difficulty for the mathematics, she tells me. I begin; The first test is a Working Memory test; listing numbers she reads to me in a specific order. I am bad at it after the more convoluted ones. Some of the work is recognizing shapes and patterns. There is addition, fractions, multiplication and division questions. She points out I'm 'doing the test wrong' multiple times. I tell her that this test is stupid (or something to that effect) due to the structure. She laughs at me. There are a few tests I can't do or become quickly annoyed with (naming mean, median, and mode, prime numbers, fractions.) As I haven't done them since 11th grade level (I took a different math course and haven't done math since I finished my credits 2 school years ago.) We break for lunch after doing half of the mathematics.
I return to continue with the mathematics. I am still annoyed even after eating lunch. I had complained to my mother how it felt like torture: No eraser, No Calculator, no Tools, and no asking for help (She is not allowed to give me help, even if I don't know something.) I am on the brink of actual tears in frustration because I cannot receive help. I understand the potential why, but I think it's idiotic.
We begin the writing and listening comprehension. I am made to write an essay on a game I like and why I like it, I am given 10 minutes. I write it about Minecraft and it's offshoots. For listening comprehension, there are a few tests. I tell her about certain parts of what i've heard. Most of them are ads, so telling her what they say is easy for me, because it feels like slush and I have trained my ears to pick up more important information because of APD (Auditory Processing Disorder). She repeats them a few times to get me to tell her more. There are more working memory tests. Something with shapes, form, and colours. One about things she's listed. There's a test where I tell her a story in a picture book based on photos only. I am becoming tired. There's a test where I need to copy a picture. I am not allowed to trace the picture. I am not allowed to hold the picture. I am not allowed to use a tool. She says something about how I should like it because I told her I am an artist. I start going on while begrudgingly doing the test that this is horrible, this isn't what art is, and i'd like to not be doing it this way because it is impractical. She laughs at me again. I am annoyed. I get to take another short break after that.
There is another test when I come back with shapes. I see there are 8 pieces and a grid I must put them in; observing the grid, I go "I need all 8 pieces." She gives me 4 pieces. I frown. I say "I need all 8 of them, can I have them please?" as I put the 4 she gave me into the grid. She hands me 2. I put them in. I repeat myself. "I know I need all 8 of them. Can you give them to me please?" She gives me 1. I become insanely frustrated at that point. "What is this?" I go, "Can I have the last piece?" I ask her annoyedly, and she gives it to me. She's smiling. She thinks this is funny? I put it in the place. I rearrange the pieces into a nicer pattern in the grid because she annoyingly gave me the pieces while she takes her notes.
There is an activity where I have to tell her a story using 5 random pieces of garbage. She shows me how to do it first when I already understand the premise and was going to do it after the verbal instruction and presentation of the items. I know it is to assess my imaginative play. I am an 18 year old artist. This is easier than breathing to me. I do it begrudgingly because I am embarrassed to do it. She laughs at me again. I am so annoyed at this point I am thinking the most angry thoughts. What is her issue??? I don't say anything while I wait for the other tests.
I am presented with a test with over 100 questions. I say out loud multiple times "I don't have OCD" to multiple questions I've been asked before to assess me for OCD. She says something about 'Don't think about it. just answer.' and I say something along the lines of "I've been to therapy since I was about 12. I do therapy speak. I know what the questions are asking me. I can't not think about it." She scoffs at me. I am so irritated. Many of the questions ask me if I am suicidal. Many of the questions ask me if I am paranoid. There are questions about ego, and questions about self-worth, questions about poverty, questions about things that don't pertain (to see if I'm paying attention.) I finish the test. She asks if I answered honestly. I say "I think so." But I my answers will be different tomorrow. They're always different later. That's how surveys work.
One of the last tests is asking me questions and having me answer. Things like "do you have friends?" "how do you feel about relationships?"; I ask her "Well, how do you define relationships? Are you in any? Are you asking me about friendship or dating?" She tells me she has a partner; a husband if I recall. I say something about marriage and romance. She asks me more questions about feelings, boundaries, relationships, and experiences in my life. It is the last test.
We leave the room to talk to my mother in the waiting room. I have not seen [Dr] once. Girl asks me what my pronouns are. I tell her it/its. She complains. I tell her too bad flat out. We leave.
I only learn upon getting home that her name is Alison.
I wait a month for my draft results. I had to get my teacher to fill out a form. I had to sign a consent form for them to do that which they made me do digitally after the assessment and CLEARLY wanted my mother to sign. She gets me to sign it because I'm an adult. She understands.
My mom sits me down. She goes "You aren't going to like this." I frown. "I'm not autistic?" She nods. "You aren't. But they said you have 3 or 4 other things."
Alarm bells again. I get her to bring up my draft assessment on the computer for me to read. I am enraged. They refer to me as "transgendered". They misgendered me. There were numerous, insane typos that would be easy to catch on the first pass.
I begin work on an Essay/Paper telling them why their assessment is bullshit and how I meet the criteria for autism spectrum disorder. (I READ THE DSM-5 AND DSM-5-TR FOR THIS CRAP.) I also berate them the whole time for their behaviour, the nature of the assessment, and lack of care. A week or so later I get the final draft. They still misgendered me; and there are still typos. I get my mom to email it to me and I send it to multiple of my friends, my Therapist, and give her my consent to share it with my Psychiatrist and anyone else she sees fit with her discretion with the password for the protected document, along with a screenshot pointing out the most glaring typo (being misgendered.) My therapist and psychiatrist show it to the Autism Lead in their district with my consent.
I receive an overwhelmingly positive onslaught of "this assessment is bullshit! You SHOULD be angry." The autism lead tells my therapist I do likely have autism based on what was shown and told to her, and to get a second opinion (as she can't diagnose me without assessing me herself). I tell my therapist more about the assessment. She does some research.
The Psychometrist (someone who administers psychological tests/assessments) is underqualified during time of assessment.
Medical Negligence.
[Dr.] Is clearly on grounds to be tried for Medical Malpractice.
I am now working on submitting a complaint and finishing my paper.
I may potentially be involved in legal trouble against the psychologist I never even got to see or speak to.
Fuck that guy.
#cackles maniacally#THIS IS WHAT YOU GEEEEEEEEET!!!!!!!!#cant wait to send this man out of his career with a boot up his arse.#what makes it worse is we found a headshot of him because i never saw him#HES A MIDDLE AGED WHITE MAN WITH A RECEDING HAIR LINE#autism#autism spectrum disorder#actually autistic#autistic#psychology#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#neurodivergency#autism assessment#medical malpractice#medical negligence#sobs#dsm-5#dsm-5-tr#health#mental health#personal life update#chew on this one guys#:)#cw: mental health#cw: sui mention#(offhandedly)
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Marriage/Poly AU explained here and this specific post focuses on exploring Cali and Gov crushes on Florida, Louisiana, New York, Texas and DC. Gov and DC are separate people and I've explained it in the linked post.
Anyway, for obvious reasons the actual thing will be under the read more. There will be some sexual themes written in this so I out it under read more but there is sfw chapter at the end which you be able to read on ao3 as well!
Also also, throughout working on this beast (for me at least) it went through many forms I lost count. Huge thank you to people on the discord server for giving me ideas by answering my questions and sharing their own headcanon! I put a ๑ next to them when they are referred! I have plans for doing separate stuff for other headcanon as they didn't exactly fit in here but at this point this is it's own beast sooooo
Without further ado, enjoy the headcanon and kind of a whole one shot at the end!
~•~
Anyway, headcanon time bc they are easiest to start with.
•Cali and Gov are switches bc yes. One would assume that either California or Gov are in charge of the other but they switch usually
•I'm still sub California camp bc just gives me that vibe of a brat who only subs for the right person he trust. Otherwise he can easily charm someone to let him top like a one night stand type of deal. When he tops he likes to praise his lover and worship them but he also likes to gag and blind them and watch them fall apart under his hands.
•Gov on the other hand is a bit more top adjacent only bc I imagine it be hard for him to give up any kind control outside or inside the bedroom. Largely out of habit but when he subs he turns into very vocal lover. Likes to be tied up as well it gives him that edge but also the pressure helps him relax further into blissful state. He also has degradation kink-(๑)- which works both ways, like to degrade people but when someone degrades him he has buffering moment followed by blue screen.
•Their first time with each other was filled with awkward chuckles and talking as they tried to work out what the other might like. They ended up getting each other off with their hands after mutual agreement to talk more in the morning and ended up eating ice cream and watching movies.
•California is more experienced then Gov but doesn't mind teaching Gov and encouraging him to go for different stuff. Gov doesn't say it but he appreciates it a lot. They try out new stuff whenever something sparks their interest be it a new position or kink they wish to explore. California got Gov to do few challenges and scenes from stuff he reads to see if they would work out IRL. Gov pretends to be annoyed by them but they end up having great fun anyway even if it sometimes ends up with them having giggling fits.
•I hate this song with burning passion but tying back to them trying different challenges. California got Gov to try c-bat rhythm and both hated it. Cali made whole rant he nearly send to state group chat but thankfully he only send it to his governon who didn't have time to check his text before Gov appeared like a demon and broke his phone before leaving. He may have avoided work for few days after that.
•California found out about Gov crushing on Florida, Louisiana and DC in three different occasions and only put it together recently. Yes he gave Gov lots of shit for not going after them first time he realised he had hots for them and Gov just pouted about it and tried to defend himself but it just ended up with Gov not being able to walk the next morning after California proved a point.
•The First time California noticed it was when the states collectively decided to go to the beach. California and Florida were surfing and Cali spotted Gov ogling Florida from under the parasol he hid to avoid getting sunburned. Even after that day he kept noticing a light blush dusting Gov cheeks anytime Florida mentioned surfing or was showing off his strength by wrestling the alligators.
•Later that night when the two were cuddling, Cal asked Gov directly if he had crush on Florida which Gov of course denied. The deny was quickly cut off when Cali started talking dirty, purring into Gov ear about being helplessly trapped and pinned under Florida or tying Florida to the bed and testing those new toys on him whilst watching Hun squirm and moa-he got smothered with pillows. Some would say that's spous-okay fine he will go to sleep but they will talk more in the morning. (They didn't)
•Louisiana was harder to spot but it was during one of the cookouts the South hosted. They ran out of drinks or something-he can't remember exactly what-but Loui and Gov were gone for a good while before they returned with gov looking a bit pink on the face and Louisiana looking a bit smug if cheeky as he teased Gov about something.
•Later Gov told him about how someone mistaken them for a couple and wasn't listening and kept spewing bullshit even when Gov was trying to correct them. After a while Gov was ready to do some "government overreach" when the person got a bit more aggressive, getting up to their faces and looking like they were about to pull something out to attack them with, but Louisiana acted faster, pinning the person to a nearby wall by their neck.
Gov isn't sure what was exactly said but the person looked paler and stumbled towards security who came over to check on the situation. Louisiana bullshitted that the two were a couple who was harassed and they were mostly let go (Loui might have picked gov, their groceries and ran) and California really should stop looking at him like he is idiotic. He isn't he swears and it was just one time thing anyway!
Cali did call him stupid and an idiot and proceed to try and smother him with pillows for not taking the opportunity to carry the couple joke long enough to get at least one date.
•When it comes to DC, Cali only witnessed the end bit when he was dropping some paperwork in Gov office and saw DC speed walking from there looking flustered if a bit pale and Gov bashing his head on his desk. There was also a breeze from the newly broken window scattering the papers around the office.
•Apparently-Gov started, wrinkling his nose as California sat on his laps and cleaned the wound on his forehead-he and couple other politicians had a meeting that was going nowhere. The meeting was interrupted by DC who had documents Gov requested as they were needed for the next state meeting. One of the politicians snarled something about states being useless which set something off in DC as he proceeded to verbally murder the politicians. Gov isn't sure what was exactly said as he was too busy staring-simping, California provided with a grin-at DC and the way his eyes shone and how he suddenly had command of the room, the anger and everything find words to describe this bullshit
When Gov finally butted in and dismissed the politicians but told DC to stay. DC was getting defensive even before Gov had a chance to speak which unfortunately led to FBI being thrown out of window by frustrated DC. How even gov doesn't know. All he knows is that he said something that made DC look all red and walk out and he been just banging his head on the desk....he so wanna smash tho
~~~
To summarise:
Gov, pointing to DC: I want this this twink obliterated
Gov internal monologue next to Loui: Daddy? Sorry, Daddy? Sorry, Da-
Gov, to himself after witnessing Florida wrestle down a particular agresive gator: wish that was me being manhandled like that
Utah:
Utah: being held back from dumping entire bucket of holy water on to oblivious gov by confused Nevada, Wash and Oregon whilst New Mexico and Arizona cheer Utah on
California: simps to avoid responsibility
~•~
Which speaking of Cali!
•Started simping after Texas without realising he was simping for years. Like pretty much since they knew each other California been drawn to Texas and he never was able to work out why exactly. Until south hosted 4th of July cookout and Texas somehow managed to get mechanical bull set up. Gov still laughs about the nosebleed he got when it was Texas turn.
•In his defense. he didn't knew Texas would look so... so hot whilst doing that! Just even thinking back on it makes his cheeks warm. And those jeans ah..... Gov has no business staring at him knowingly like that! So what if they are in the meeting? At least he isn't eye fucking Florida across the table!
•The main point is, Cali only started to acknowledge his feelings after that night. It did spiral into avoiding Texas for good couple weeks which made other states confused as to why the two aren't fighting. Hell even Texas tried to ask him what was wrong but of course he avoided that. Gov grew a bit tired of his moping and staged an "intervention" which was Cali being spread on Gov desk and fucked thoroughly only getting to cum when he finally told Gov what was up. Gov made sure to give Cali plenty of cuddles later and to tease the hell out of him.
Cali did apologise for his behaviour in his way which just involved him buying everyone expensive consoles or items they were chatting about when they thought he wouldn't hear. He even made pecan pie (it was rough day for the kitchen. North East and South still cry about the abomination the first pie ended up as) which Texas accepted with a grin. Cali might have nearly shoved the whole pie in Texas face because of how flustered he suddenly got but it was worth it.
•New York crush spiraled out of control during New Year eve party. The states were invited to fancy party hosted by politicians thus pretty dresses and suits all around. Gov was wearing one of his tailored pieces and looking way more serious then most states usually see him. Even Florida and Louisiana were convinced to wear suits! .... well Lousianna was wearing a suit, Florida was wearing top half of a three piece suit over a flowing ball gown with front cut off to show off the fuzzy socks and fancy crocks he was wearing. Cali still remembers the horrified faces of some of the guests foundly.
He himself was wearing quite nice piece of floor length gown with diamonds and sequins making it sparkle and shimmer as if it was water or fire. But he also was getting sick of some of the people, thus his near successful attempt at leaving unnoticed. Just as he was about to press the button to take him to the rooftop, another person joined him in and he blinked owlishly at New York before blushing and looking away when NY glared at him.
New York looked so pretty too. The suit was hugging all the right places and the dark blue colour of the suit just helped to bring out the blue of his eyes out. He even had his hair slicked back although few strands of hair still seemed to have mind of their own as they fell from the hairstyle, framing New York face just right.
He didn't even notice when they arrived to the roof but once out there they both went to the ledge and shared a cigarette together. When he started to shake from the cold New York promptly took off his suit jacket and put it on him, not meeting his eyes as he did but it still made California blush and smile. They shared cigarette for a good while and kept stealing glances at each other.
But before ether of them could say anything, there was ping as the elevator doors opened up again and Florida came barreling out, shouting something about fashion and chaos as he tackle hugged New York, Cali noted that he was wearing Loui suit jacket as well, as he quickly grabbed the two smaller states before they went over the rooftop.
There was a laugh as Louisiana came out from the elevator next, grinning at New York and winking at him which made New York grumble as he held Florida and gave up on his lecture as to why you dont tackle people on the rooftops deciding that going back to the party would be better ides as he dragged Florida towards safety of the elevators.
When they returned back to the party downstairs, Gov shot him concern look which he dismissed with a wave of his hand, still feeling warm from the interaction on the roof as they all slowly got ready for the countdown to the new years.
---
To summarise:
Cali: placing another picture on a wall full of pictures of Texas I hate texas
Cali: enormous eyes at new york you share cigarette with Cali? You give jacket? Oh crush for new York! Crush for one thousand years!
~•~
". . ."
". . ."
"???"
"Can i-"
"Why didn't you tell us you were married?" New York narrowed his eyes as he stormed into the room and took a seat in front of the desk.
Texas at least had decency to close the door before sitting down.
"Hello to you two, why yes I am doing fine thank you for asking-"
"Cut the bullcrap and answer the question"
"What even bought this on?"
"Well you see, Nevada shared... somethin' on that server you and Washington had everyone join like a month back? And Utah supported it with few evidence pieces and well here we are"
Gov wondered if its not too late to take FBI approach and escape through the window.
"Well I haven't seen it so I can neither confirm nor deny-"
"Here" New York threw placed his phone on the desk which Gov took cautiously and looked through the screenshots in the gallery. He raised an eyebrow at the name on top being #Blackmail-sharing as he didn't remember such channel existing in the server. Not wasting anymore time. he carefully read through it"
Texas only watched with small amusement as Gov eyebrows climbed higher and higher on his forehead, snorting quietly when the fed went pale, guessing that he managed to read through the 'evidence'-as Utah and Nevada insisted calling the stolen footage from cameras around the house as. If it wasn't serious he would have laughed at Gov outright.
"So?"
"So nothing"
"The fuck you mean 'so nothing'?! It's a simple question! Are you married or not?!" New York looked ready to blow a gasket which yeah no, he can't afford another window repair so close from the last time.
"Why is it bothering you two so much whatever me and Cali are married or not?"
New York looked like a deer caught in a headlights for a moment as he buffered and tried to come out with reasonable excuse but Texas seemingly beat him to it as he looked at Gov like he just revealed the big secret.
"A-ha! so you are married!"
"I'm sorry?-"
"Well you just said "whatever you and cali" are married and we didn't mention anyone by name!"
Gov raised his eyebrow and just pointed back to the screenshots on New York phone. "Maybe you didn't but Utah and Nevada apparently did"
"Alright fair point but still"
"So back to the original question, why does it bother you two so much?"
"Less bother and more like it feels like somethin' others should know and what's not considering-" Texas trailed off, a light blush dusting his cheeks as he cleared his throat and looked at New York for help or distraction.
"Least we expected was to be invited or literary fucking anything instead of being kept in the dark, only to find out Utah and Nevada knew before us" Gov blinked and looked a bit closer at the two, noticing the slight tremors going through New York frame as he kept glaring at Gov with... was that Hurt? And Texas despite his calm demeanour did seem like he wanted to shoot something or someone.
Letting out a sigh he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his temples as he gathered up what he should tell them without Cali potentially getting mad at him for it later.
"-specially if it was recent-"
"Wait hold one when do you think we got married exactly?"
New York blinked and squinted suspiciously at Gov. "Recent I suppose? 10 years or less?"
"Oooh"
"What in tarnation you mean 'ooh'?" Now it was Texas turn to look at Gov with suspicion.
"Well, Cali would be able to give you a more details but I'm pretty sure this year we will have our 200 anniversary? Give or take few years"
Gov didn't knew the two could be that quiet and if anyone asked him about it he could have sworn he heard a paperclip drop from his desk.
". . . what"
"... do you want me to repeat or-" Gov flinched as New York abruptly stood ups the chair he was sitting on clattering loudly to the floor as he stormed out of the room.
Texas just gave him a look of something-he really needs to spend more time distinguishing emotions considering how long he usually stares at them anyway-nodding as he left his office a bit more calmly.
When the door shut he just let out a sigh and banged his head on the desk. He blindly reached over for his phone and opened up messages with Cali, quickly typing out a warning which he hopes Cali would read instead of ignore.
Why did it feel like he just jinxed himself?
---
California frowned and growled in frustration as he coughed yet another trash instead of the fish he needed for the bundle. Honestly sometimes fishing was bullshit!
Before he could open up his cheat menus something-or rather someone-fell on top of his chest. making him grunt and lift his switch into the air as he glared down at the bucket hat and sunglasses.
"Florida, why?"
"Why not?"
California just rolled his eyes and wiggled a not to get more comfortable, letting Florida shuffle and find his own comfy position on top of him. "Whatever just don't interrupt men I nearly had that fish!"
"Sure you did! And I'm blind!"
"Mhm so we won't have to worry about chaos?"
"Oh no, it means even more chaos cause now I get to shoot confetti glue sticks at everyone without getting in trouble!"
Cali just laughed as he went back to his farm and closed the game after saving progress by going to bed. He out the switch on the table next to him, he notice that his phone has one new notification on it.
Before he could check it tho, Florida grabbed his hand and dragged it closer to his face, inspecting something.
"... like, what are you looking for? It's just my hand-"
"When did you get married? Its first time I see you wearing it"
"Not true! You saw me wearing it couple weeks ago when I went out with Gov!" Cal couldn't help but correct Florida, blinking at the sudden chill and blank look on Florida face that quickly shifted into a pout.
"You married Gov few weeks ago and didn't tell us? We so could have helped! I could have brought Peter to officiate it!"
"I think you mis-wait Peter?"
"A priest alligator!"
"....a priest alligator?"
"Yes!"
"As in like priest who's mutant alligator or alligator who is a priest?"
"Yes"
"... fair enough"
"So why didn't you tell us?" For once Florida seemed to be eager to go back to the topic.
Cali rolled his eyes and let out a sigh as he flicked Florida nose, grinning when he scrounged it up adorably.
"As I was like saying, I didn't marry Gov few weeks ago-"
"Sha! You should have said something about dem wedding parry sooner! I could have supplied alcohol"
"Loui!"
"FLORIDA NO-OOMPH" Cali clutched his stomach as he was promptly tramped over by Florida who launched himself into Louisiana arms for a hug.
Louisianan just laughed and spun Florida around, nuzzling their cheeks together in a greeting. From where he was curled up into a ball of pain-florida was heavy damnit-he heard amused huff. He looked up and squinted at DC who just grinned at him.
"Alright there California?"
"Likes totally go fuck yourself"
DC just responded with a laugh as he helped California sit up and checked him over, pausing over the ring. Unlike Florida he seemed more curious rather then interrogative.
"That's quite pretty ring, suits you"
"Thank you"
"Ring, sha?" this time Loui seemed more confused as he held Florida like teddy bear. A teddy best full of cocaine and drugs who kept waving his limbs around but a teddy nonetheless.
"Yup" California proudly showed his ringed hand to Louisiana, entering infodumping mode as he explained how he managed to get the materials for it and the cost that was more then worth it.
Whilst Loui did nod along. Cali could tell he looked a bit troubled which made him pause and frowns as he stared at the three, arms crossed and eyes squinting in suspicion.
"Okay, fess up, like what's with the faces?"
"I think it's a bit hard to imagine you married is all?" DC supplied a but unsure as he fidget with his tie, only to suddenly fall on the couch as Florida launched himself St him and made them fall.
"Yeah! And you didn't even invite us!"
"Okay, first of all, rude, this is like my second marriage I have game you know?" He ignored The shocked expressions less he takes it even more personally then he does now, "And me and Gov married like ageeeees ago"
"and how long would that be exactly?" Before California could reply to DC question a new voice interrupted.
"Two-fuckin'-hundred years apparently!" NY replied, looking like he is about to get out his bat and smash something. Texas trailing after him looking like he is torn between joining NY with his gun or go get wasted.
Deciding that now would be perfect time to check his phone to avoid the half alarmed and half hurt looks shot his way. Turning it on he blinked at several messages from Gov that varied in panicked tone with the most recent one practically begging California to check his phone or to come to his office.
Letting out a sigh he shrugged and gathered his switch and pocketed his phone. "Yep, married 1823 and all, funny how time flies"
"Wait wait didn't you became a state in 1850? How can you have two marriages before existing???"
"Wait a damn second two marriages?!" California ignored Texas outburst as funny as it was to see his face all twisted up from.emotions he clearly doesn't experience everyday.
"Who said I started existing in 1850?" California grinned and shot the group a wink as he quickly made his way toward Gov office, ignoring the shouts and demands to explain himself from the group.
~•~
Entering Gov office was always a 50/50 shot of either finding it organised to the last millimeter or finding it in chaos with later strewn about and fire somehow burning something.
So when he did finally entered he expected chaos and was instead greeted with the lights shut off, shutter blinds down and Gov curled up on the couch California bullied him into putting in there for naps after all night paperwork marathons.
He shut and locked the door to the office and made his way to Gov but before he could do anything, two strong arms circled around his waist and dragged him down to the couch.
Cooing softly Cali nuzzles and kissed Gov cheek as he hugged him back as best as he could murmuring soft reassurances.
For mow comforting his husband was his priority, and after getting Gov to drink some water and eat something, they will brainstorm what the next step should be.
They will make it.
#essentially the whole post is:#Cali: Denial is river in Egypt!#***camera pans to gov***#Cali: YOU GAY#and then gov going#Gov: Hair point but consider#***the powerpoint is just one massive picture of uno reverse card with u gay over layer on it***#I am so sick and tired of this post#TUMBLR DELETED IT TWICE DAMNITNDJJDND WELL NEARYLY BUT YEAH#wttt louisiana#wttt texas#wttt headcanons#wttt new york#wttt california#wttt dc#wttt gov#wttt florida#wttt#welcome to the statehouse#welcome to the table#wttsh
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Day Twenty-Four
Today I went to work wearing jeans, a flannel shirt, and a puffy vest, so I was definitely giving basic Millennial girl vibes (there were jokes in my APGOV class about me needing a pumpkin spice latte). And since I always play a “song of the day” during the bell change, it obviously had to be a Taylor Swift song today. My students were amused that I was rocking out to “Long Story Short” between classes, but they approved, heh.
Anyways.
GOV was fun. Students read about cooperative federalism, and more specifically fiscal federalism, for homework, so this morning was all about real world applicability. Our school district, valuing transparency and all, has a public report of how it’s spending ESSER grants, so I had them look through it, make observations, ask questions. Then I had them do some quick googling to find out about some more examples of federal grants and share with their classmates. It gets them using the terminology they need to know, and it gets them talking, so win-win for me!
We started a new unit in World, but first I asked students fill in a little Google form to reflect on the past unit. I got some good information from that, which will inform my teaching going forward (for example, a lot of students said they want to do more with geography, so I’ll keep embedding that). After they submitted it, I introduced the new unit- religion and philosophy- and went over the unit goals. Then I did what longterm readers know I always do: pre-taught the unit vocabulary. It took a while because students were very chatty today, which was slightly unexpected (the volume was abnormally high, it was more challenging to redirect than usual), and they had a ton of questions, which was definitely expected. Students always do about this topic.
They also discovered the fact that I train in karate since Mr. W will be coming in as a guest during this unit, and that’s on my upcoming dates board. So I did some tricks to prove my skills, and told them they’d have to wait to see more.
Oh, and another fun thing: I was being observed by a pre-service teacher while I was teaching World. I always have my door open to folks doing their observation hours because, back when I was in their shoes, there were teachers who opened their doors for me, so I’m paying it forward. It was a good day to observe since it was the first day of a unit, and it’s a very stand-and-deliver kind of a day. And it was good that he was there for both blocks because those two sections of World are so different from each other.
And he got two rounds of applause! The first was after he introduced himself to my Block 2 students, and told them that he was going to college after being in the army, so that was a little TYFYS moment. The second round of applause came because I put him on the spot during Block 3. I figured he’d seen me give the vocab once, so I offered him my notes and whiteboard marker and asked if he wanted to give it a try. He defined four terms, and they applauded him when he was done.
After my students left for lunch, we had a chat and he asked me some questions about why I do certain things they way I do, how I’ve changed as a teacher since my first few years, etc, etc... They were good questions. He’s going to come watch me teach GOV sometime next week, I think, because GOV is cool.
I have to teach the GOV students how to write FRQs on Monday, so I spent the remainder of my prep time and some time after the school day was over getting materials ready for that. I was one of the last people out of the building since it’s Friday and most folks head out as soon as possible, but it’s all good. It’s the weekend now, and my work is done!
#teaching#teacher#teachblr#edublr#educhums#education#social studies#high school#I got observed today#day twenty four#Mr. W#karate#i am a ninja
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Wip Wednesday
Untitled fic (Correspondence)
Summary/Story so far: HotchReid, slow burn, AU where Reid never joined the FBI, but got roped into consulting for the LA field office while working and teaching at Caltech. Hotch gets his email from a fellow agent, and they start to work on cases together -- until they start talking on a regular basis. Regular becomes frequent, frequent becomes constant. We are now months into this... tentative thing that is beyond friendship, beyond flirtatious, they still don't know much about each other on paper... but this feels a lot like dating. And then one day, Hotch abruptly stops answering his phone.
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)
(Set in season 6, unbeta'd, still the first draft, text/email templates are temporary)
((Notes: Spencer's POV this time, he is 29 and working at CalTech, Hotch still doesn't know how old he is though he does know that he's at least younger than 45 now. Hotch has been MIA now for about 18 hours.))
.
Spencer spends way too long online that morning, searching for anything about the case Hotch is working. There's nothing about a raid, or a shooting, or even an arrest -- which could all just be apart of the ongoing media blackout -- but it also does nothing to stop him from panicking.
With a drafted email pulled up to Ms. Penelope Garcia, the BAU's personal tech analyst, he ponders how to... even word this without it sounding too personal. Too much like he and Hotch have more than just a working relationship.
Because they do. They have... something.
Something that gives him fluttering sensations in his stomach, makes him check his phone constantly, and react to even the slightest chime similar to his text tone. Makes him smile when he sees Hotch's name on his notifications, in his email inbox, makes him message the man in the middle of the day at the most random thoughts. Just because he wants to make him laugh.
.
[]You're going to get me in trouble.
[][]Did I make you smile?
[]I'm at a crime scene. There's a dead body in front of me.
[][]Then why are you checking your phone?
[]You know why.
.
But that’s not something that is shared with the rest of the team, he’s sure. So he should be careful how he words his email, lest Ms. Garcia realize that Spencer isn’t asking purely as a colleague.
Surely they know he has friends, though?
Chewing his lip, Spencer types out a brief email asking if Agent Hotchner is feeling well since he missed an appointment the night before and hasn’t been returning his calls. It’s a phrase he’s used often, so it comes naturally to Spencer as he types it out, and he realizes… he hasn’t called. He’s sent a dozen text messages, but not a phone call. Never a phone call. That was against the rules.
He looks to his phone beside him on his desk, and tries to fight back the dueling forms of panic clawing at his chest. Panic that Hotch might not answer, panic what that means for the man he’s been… becoming more and more inclined to than any other person he’s met in so long. Panic if he does answer, breaking that barrier of written words to spoken, and the opportunity to hear Hotch’s voice. But he would also hear Spencer’s, and then there would be no hiding just how… how young he really is.
But his phone is in his hand before he can stop himself, and Hotch’s contact pulled up and his thumb hovering over the phone number with baited breath.
Was he really going to do this?
He presses the touch screen and can hear the line connecting, the dial tone ring even before he gets the phone up to his ear and waits. It rings, and rings, and rings a fourth time -- before clicking over to voicemail. And Spencer’s hyper-fast thought processes realize he’s going to hear Hotch’s voice for the first time. Frozen in a panic, unsure if he wants to or if that had been something he wanted them to do together that the seconds slip by and suddenly it’s too late.
“You’ve reached the voicemail box of -- (703)-567-8790 -- this caller is not available. Please leave a message after the tone--”
It’s an automated, female voice that rattles off the numbers and generic call back message, and Spencer hangs up before it can begin recording him. Exhaling a shaky breath, that nothing had been ruined between him and Hotch thanks to an ill-timed phone call.
He keeps the momentum going without much thought, and adjusts his email to Ms. Garcia before sending it.
It feels so understated, and yet over dramatic the more he thinks about it. The more he reads it.
.
Please let me know of his well-being.
.
God, no wonder Hotch thought he was in his 60’s.
But Spencer has to keep the façade up, not give away anything he doesn’t want to just because the emotional part of his brain is running rampant over the rational one. There are… many explanations as to why Hotch isn’t answering him. His gut feeling aside, he doesn’t need to be panicking like this. The world is still turning, he still has work to do, so Spencer tries to gather himself into some semblance of order and preps to talk to his doctoral students within the hour.
.
--
.
His morning routine progresses as usual, to start. Dr. Reid has his mandatory round up with his doctoral candidates going over thesis and dissertation parameters, class lecture schedules, updates, the works. Like morning announcements, but he requires them all to be there and to listen, and they all show up. Everyone knows of Spencer’s eidetic memory. He will certainly not forget a single date or schedule change, and he expects his students to not forget as well.
But this morning Spencer is fully distracted, his mind elsewhere, somewhere in the state of Delaware with an agent who may or may not be in danger. Because Spencer cannot shake the feeling that something is wrong. It almost seems more like a fact than a feeling.
He becomes even more distracted when his email pings, a response from Ms. Garcia of Quantico, VA flashing across his laptop screen, right in the middle of his department announcements. Spencer’s eyes skim the preview sentence in the pop-up box, and his voice trails off as his mind… whirls.
.
Dr. Reid, I’m sorry to tell you I don’t know when Hotch will be available again. There was an incident, and he’s still in surg-
.
Surgery.
Surgery.
That vice-like grip of worry that has taken hold of him since last night tightens further, to the point Spencer can’t breathe. Hotch is hurt, he’s in surgery, and if he hasn’t been answering his phone since last night -- or even late yesterday afternoon -- it was not a minor thing.
Hotch is hurt.
“Dr. Reid? Are you okay?”
“I--” he’s still looking at the email pop-up box, and is clicking on it before he can stop himself. Immediately disconnecting his laptop from the projector as his email loads there. It takes him a faction of a second to read the email. “I’m sorry, an emergency just came up. Kimmy, finish reading off the schedule for me?” He doesn’t even wait until she answers him, just picks up his laptop and retreats to his office as fast as his long legs will carry him.
.
--surgery and we’re still waiting on word. I know you 2 talk on the reg so I’ll keep you posted.
Fret not, genius professor, our fearless leader has been through much worse than this.
.
She’s using informal speech patterns, which she has never done before. It bleeds her nervousness, and worries Spencer even more. Ms. Garcia also revealed she knows he and Hotch talk, but surprisingly that doesn’t have the effect he thought it would on his already rattled nerves. Instead, any and all reservations fall away as he types out a response much in the same way he and Hotch had started their friendship all those months ago.
.
Please, is there anything you are allowed to tell me about the case or his condition? We --
.
Spencer pauses, bites his lip as he considers crossing this boundary into the uncomfortable unknown, and then thinks about Hotch on a hospital operating table three thousand miles away.
“Screw it,” he mutters and continues to type.
.
--We’ve become good friends and I’m very worried.
.
The reply is almost immediate.
.
That makes 2 of us, boy wonder, but I’m already hacked into the hospital records database and Prentiss is in the waiting room.
I’m sending you the case files and the incident report from last night. Maybe you can see some shiz we can’t b/c the bossman is tough but he’s been in surgery a long time.
.
Of course, whatever he can do to help. Spencer’s heavy heart-beat triples in his chest as pulls up the files and immediately prints them out so he can read through them faster. But then his mind sticks on something from the email.
Boy Wonder.
Ms. Garcia knows how young he is.
She must have done a background check on him, that would make sense since he’s been consulting so much lately. But why would Garcia know his age, and not Hotch?
.
Ms. Garcia, did you update my dossier with the bureau after you ran my background check?
.
If you’re referring to why Hotch seems to think you’re rocking the senior discount at restaurants and not still getting carded for beer, then no I didn’t update it. I’m very anti-gov files having every detail of our lives in them, that’s what I’m for, and I figured there was a reason he didn’t know. Your secret is safe with me, sugar bean.
.
The real reason is Agent Anderson of the LA field office is a dick, with a bully streak he never outgrew after high school, and didn’t bother filling out a full file on him the first time Spencer consulted for the FBI. Then, he couldn’t be bothered to update it when his consultations became more than a one time thing.
But that was all in the past now, and Spencer can’t even be upset about it. Because now he has Hotch.
.
Thank you, Ms. Garcia. I’ll let you know my findings soon.
.
He skims the file quickly, pulling information out at lightning speed. It appears a very straight-forward case. As straight-forward as a murderous sociopath can be, anyway. Very anti-establishment, specified targets that devolved to anyone in a uniform. Anyone who appears too official, or lables as official.
It’s easy to see, now why the unsub attacked Hotch instead of running from him. He practically served himself up on a silver platter. But there’s something about the kills that’s bothering Spencer. The knife wounds, bludgeoning, even the gunshots during the first murders -- it’s all overkill. Rage. Every single target has died from massive internal bleeding, M.E. reports all label the knife wounds and beatings as the cause. But the amount of blood left over, measured during autopsy, doesn’t add up. They bled too much. No wounds indicating intentional bleeding occurred, and the tox screens are all clean.
Except, every victim has elevated potassium rates.
“Oh, God,” Spencer whispers, quiet and horrified. “Hotch.”
There’s no time for email.
He picks up his phone, goes to an older email that has full contact details in the footer, and dials Ms. Garcia’s direct line in Quantico.
“Speak, and behold greatness.”
“Ms. Garcia, it’s Dr. Reid,” Spencer says, and his tone and quickened speech patterns gives way to his panic.
“Dr-- Dr. Reid?”
“Yes, quick there’s no time. Do you have Hotch’s hospital records in front of you still?”
“Yes,” Garcia says, her voice a musical thing even in it’s breathless reaction to his heightened state of haste. “Updated every two minutes.”
“Is his potassium elevated?”
Some quick typing of keys that move faster than even he could ever hope to type. “... Yes.”
God. “Okay, okay I need you to call the hospital right now,” Spencer says in a spiel that all sounds like one word. “Whatever you have to do, he needs Sodium Polystyrene Sulfonate as soon as possible, to counteract the chemical imbalance or he’s going to go into kidney failure and bleed out.”
.
tbc...
#THIS IS JUST A SNIPPET#I s2g it is but it is also long af#legit this ended up being 1900 words i just didn't feel like stopping you know?#so yall get like... 25% of the entire chapter basically#sorry not sorry#expect a wip every week now#wip wednesday#HotchReid#Heid#katyswriting#don't ask about the dots tumblr and I are in a formatting fight and aren't on speaking terms rn
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Created Problems (Prophecy update)
By Daymond Duck Published on: August 22, 2021
Created problems are piling up in the U.S. as the globalists continue their effort to weaken America and establish a world government by 2030 or sooner.
These are facts, not conspiracy theories.
Oil—The Biden administration deliberately reduced America’s oil production by stopping construction on the Keystone XL Pipeline, halting oil production on federal lands in Louisiana, New Mexico, etc., and this caused the price of oil to soar. Now, Biden wants production increased to bring the price of oil back down, but he doesn’t want U.S. companies and U.S. workers to increase production, get their jobs back, etc.; he wants OPEC and foreign workers to increase production and have those jobs.
Crime—The Defund the Police movement has resulted in police budgets being cut in many cities, thousands of criminals being released from jails, soaring shootings, killings, and thefts; this is by design because globalists want to gain control of the police.
Border—The Biden administration has deliberately destroyed what few immigration laws the U.S. had. This week, Biden’s Homeland Security Sec. visited the U.S./Mexico border and was secretly recorded saying the border crisis is unsustainable (just the opposite of what he is saying in public). About one million immigrants (many with Covid) have come across the border, drug and human trafficking have increased, etc., and there is no effort to stop it (just an effort to hide what they are doing by lying about it.).
Covid—Only U.S. citizens are required to wear masks and be tested. Illegal aliens are not required to be masked or tested, and many are deliberately bussed and flown to other parts of the U.S., especially TX and FLA (at taxpayer expense) in what appears to be an effort to spread Covid, turn TX and FLA from Red to Blue (from Republican to Democrat) and blame unvaccinated citizens for spreading Covid to justify forcing everyone to be vaccinated for the global good or the common good (deceptive phrases meaning world government).
Inflation—Inflation is rising faster than wages are increasing, meaning money is declining in value and buying less and less. There seems to be two reasons: 1) Unending stimulus packages with pork-barrel spending, and 2) Disruption of production due to the deliberate spread of Covid and imposed lockdowns. This is increasing the price of everything (food, clothing, vehicles, rent, mortgages, medicine, etc.; gas is $1 per gallon higher than it was this time last year). It is destroying the U.S. economy and hurting every American, especially the poor.
Critical Race Theory (CRT)—Socialists have increased their power in the Democrat Party, and they are pushing CRT (a new form of segregation) to divide the U.S. They know that a nation divided against itself cannot stand. Why else would they want to re-establish segregation? Note: On Aug. 16, 2021, the Arkansas Attorney Gen. said separating children based on race violates the Equal Protection Clause of the U.S. Constitution.
Afghanistan—Biden told America the Afghan military had enough modern weapons and troops to defend itself. Then, we read that Biden sent a letter to the Taliban asking them to hold off taking over the country until we could evacuate our people. Then, we read that most of the major Afghan cities fell in 24 hours. Then, we read that the Afghan capital fell a few hours later. Then, we read that Biden offered the Taliban foreign aid for a promise to not attack the U.S. embassy.
Biden’s hasty exit sends the message that America is not a reliable ally; it dooms thousands of Afghan soldiers to death that helped the U.S.; it dooms Afghan women to second class citizenship, covering their face, etc.; it dooms Afghan girls to forced marriages, no education, etc.; it dooms Afghan boys to brainwashing, very little education, etc.; it dooms Afghan men to beatings, amputation of limbs, etc.; and it dooms the Christians to convert to Islam or be executed. Thousands of Americans were injured or killed in Afghanistan, and Biden squandered everything America accomplished in a matter of hours.
Update One: On Aug. 16, 2021, it was reported that French Pres. Macron was advised to call an emergency meeting of the EU Council because “the security of the world” is in danger. Some EU leaders say an Islamic Caliphate in Afghanistan will be a serious threat to the western world.
Update Two: On Aug. 16, 2021, an editorial in a Chinese-affiliated newspaper declared that war will break out between China and Taiwan, and the U.S. will not help Taiwan. Amir Tsarfati said China, Russia, and Iran are declaring that the post-American world order is over, and he believes that Russia and Iran no longer believe the U.S. will help Israel if they decide to launch an attack.
Update Three: On Aug. 17, 2021, it was reported that China has been emboldened by America’s apparent weakness, and her military is already preparing to practice an attack on Taiwan.
Update Four: On Aug. 17, 2021, it was reported that the Taliban is already sending letters to house churches saying, “We know who you are, and we’re coming for you.” The Antichrist will use beheadings as a terror tactic, and the Taliban does that too.
Here are some of my afterthoughts on Biden’s Afghan debacle.
Biden had a choice. He didn’t have to run. He was advised against it, but he did it anyway.
Biden has led America to defeat in the War on Terror, and his claim to love women and children is nothing more than a campaign slogan that he used to get elected (tell the women and children of Afghanistan that Biden loves them).
The Taliban, Iran and others will declare that Allah has given Islam a major victory over the Great Satan and be encouraged to fight harder (and Biden has just given them weapons worth many millions of dollars). They are surely blaspheming God, His name, and His people.
The success of radical Islam will increase the pressure on Israel and the Arabs to sign a peace treaty.
Israel must realize that she needs to rely on God, not America.
Biden has created a breeding ground for Islamic terrorists, and a borderless world is more dangerous than ever. (The security of the U.S. is threatened by America’s open border, and the Taliban won’t hesitate to cross it.)
It is clearer than ever that the Christian’s hope is the Rapture, not a better, stronger America.
As the world grows darker, the cries for a world leader to solve the world’s problems will grow louder.
God brought Afghanistan (and Babylon) down in a matter of hours, and He can bring the U.S. down in the blink of an eye if He wants.
The U.S. is led by people that are following Satan or it wouldn’t be supporting a godless world government, godless world religion, abortion, gay marriage, censoring Christian ministries, etc.
Biden raised the gay flag over our embassies, and the Taliban will probably take it down and raise their flag over our embassy.
There are many reasons to believe the lukewarm church needs to wake up, or God will eventually bring our sin-filled nation to its knees.
Here are some more reasons to believe that the Rapture is close.
One, deceit and lying have existed at least since God created Adam and Eve, but it will be common practice at the end of the age.
What could be more deceitful than deliberately spreading Covid-19 and blaming it on the unvaccinated?
Could it be internment camps to deliberately incarcerate the falsely accused unvaccinated?
This writer has seen several reports lately that the CDC is planning to have incarceration camps in every U.S. city.
Several sources have reported that on Aug. 6, 2021, TN Gov. Mike Lee signed an executive order authorizing the National Guard to seize unvaccinated people for incarceration.
Natural News reported that it has information that the CDC has been working with the University of Chicago to develop a plan to call homes in an effort to determine if there are any children between 6 months and 17 years in the home that have not been vaccinated.
The activation of incarceration camps in every U.S. city and perhaps a phone call to every household is very troubling.
It has also been reported that starting this month in New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco, people will not be allowed into restaurants, theaters, and several other venues without proof of vaccination.
This writer is far from knowledgeable on Covid-19 and the mutations or variants, but this is some of what I have read and the way I understand it:
The Covid-19 virus doesn’t want to be killed by a vaccine, so it tries to stay alive by mutating.
Some medical professionals believe the mutations are developing in and being spread by vaccinated people.
This explains why the world will never reach herd immunity (vaccinate so many people on earth that the spread of Covid-19 is unlikely). For whatever it is worth, about 2/3 of the new Covid cases in Israel are people that have been fully vaccinated.
Here is a repeat from my last week’s article with the addition of one sentence: we are seeing the global development and advancement of technology and policies that many excellent Bible prophecy teachers believe will lead to the Mark of the Beast (forced compliance, loss of one’s job, development of passports or passes, a demand for government databases to track people, a demand to prevent the unvaccinated from entering stores to buy or sell, the spread of anti-Christian rhetoric, etc.). We are seeing a preview of things to come and a warning from our merciful God (that knows what is going to happen before it happens) to be sure we are saved.
Two, concerning earthquakes:
On Aug. 11, 2021, a 7.1 quake struck off the coast of Mindanao, Philippines.
On Aug. 12, 2021, an 8.1 quake struck near the South Sandwich Islands (South Atlantic Ocean).
On Aug. 14, 2021, a 7.2 quake struck Haiti. Three days later, it was reported that 6,900 were injured, 1419 were killed, and 84,585 homes were damaged or destroyed.
On Aug. 14, 2021, a 6.9 quake struck in the Gulf of Alaska.
On Aug. 16, 2021, as Haiti was trying to deal with the 7.2 quake, Tropical Storm Grace was bearing down with strong winds and perhaps as much as 8 inches of rain (up to 15 inches and flooding in some areas).
Three, concerning an increase in frequency and intensity of natural disasters (like birth pains): on Aug. 14, 2021, The Moscow Times reported that Russia’s Pres. Vladimir Putin said the scale of natural disasters (floods, droughts, and forest fires) that have hit Russia this year is “absolutely unprecedented.”
According to the article, “Russian weather officials and environmentalists have linked the increasing intensity of Siberia’s annual fires to climate change.”
More:
On Aug. 15, it was reported that at least 51 people have been killed by floods and mudslides in Turkey.
On Aug. 16, the U.S. announced that the water level in Lake Mead is at the lowest level since the Hoover Dam was built in the 1930s, a water shortage on the Colorado River was declared, and it was announced that there will be water cut-backs in 2022. Farmers and ranchers will cut production.
Four, concerning the Battle of Gog and Magog: on Aug. 13, 2021, Monte Judah (Messianic World Update) said, “It is very clear that the IDF and the government of Israel is planning to attack Iran soon to stop the nuclear weapons program. This is evidenced by the fact that the IDF, the Air Force, has been running long-range bombing training missions with the nation of Greece, and they have been doing in-flight refueling and other things of that type with Benny Gantz, the Defense Minister, announcing and giving warnings to the U.S. and other nations that Israel is going to stop Iran if they continue to do it.”
FYI: Several pastors say they are being inundated with requests for a “Religious Exemption Letter.” Here is a link to a letter that Rock Harbor Church (Rev. Brandon Holthaus) is using, and it can be printed off:
RHC Religious Exemption for Vaccines and PCR Swabs.pdf
Finally, are you Rapture Ready?
If you want to be rapture ready and go to heaven, you must be born again (John 3:3). God loves you, and if you have not done so, sincerely admit that you are a sinner; believe that Jesus is the virgin-born, sinless Son of God who died for the sins of the world, was buried, and raised from the dead; ask Him to forgive your sins, cleanse you, come into your heart and be your Saviour; then tell someone that you have done this.
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More love for Semi please? Anything will do, your writing is exquisite in any form anyway :D
» Word Count: 1,857 wordsCross-posted on AO3
SORRY THIS IS SO LATE :(( I actually wrote three chapters’ worth of content for him already and you can read the whole thing on the ao3 link.(NOTE: This is based on the current events of the final arc of the Haikyuu manga. I tagged it as a spoiler but I won’t really go into the specifics of what’s going on. Semi is our main focus here ^__^)
—
“Please?”
“No,” was your flat reply.
Semi heaved a long sigh, mouth twitching into an irritated grimace. You returned his reaction with a sassy look of your own—one, finely penciled brow quirked as bright, red lips rivalled the adamance that Semi brought about. While you were in no position to tell him to just go back to his cubicle and get today’s work done (you, sadly, held the same position in office), you at least had the right to turn him down. Your department had a monthly financial report coming up. Why on Earth did he want your help writing a song?
“Come on,” he groaned. “You know I’d eat my fist first before asking for your help, but our manager really digs your old pieces from college.”
Your eye twitched.
“Way to beg for someone’s aid in a time of dire need,” you bit back sarcastically. “Go do it then.”
“What?”
“Eat your whole fist.” You gave him a pointed look, even making a show of paying attention by putting your pen down.
Your co-worker let out a frustrated groan, fingers carding through his messy, ashen hair. The gesture made the tattoos on his chest visible for a second, before disappearing again behind his barely done button-up. It was a mystery, how a man like him made it as a public servant—with his flamboyant piercings and tip-dyed hair—but you supposed you should learn to look past physical appearances. The agency allowed it, so why should you make a fuss?
Ah, right. Semi Eita was the most hot-headed man in your department, and he had a knack for picking fights with you.
“If you get the balance sheet done by five o'clock, I might reconsider,” you told him, not really meaning the words, as you directed your attention back at the paperwork on your desk. Balance sheets are the toughest to fill out, since the data needed had to be collated from different sectors of the city. You highly doubted that Semi, with his thinner-than-a-strand-of-hair patience, could finish it in one sitting.
“Deal.”
Your gaze hardened as you looked back up at him. “Come again?”
“Are you deaf?” he asked, folding lean arms across his chest. “I said it’s a deal.”
You couldn’t help the snort that made its way past your lips. Whatever his reasons may be, it was painfully obvious that he was desperate. But still. You knew that he wouldn’t be able to carry out the deed in your given deadline, but instead of talking him out of his own agreement, you merely shook your head in acceptance.
Semi eventually stalked off to his cubicle; the one just in front of yours. There was a divider that separated each employee’s workspace from the others, and it at least granted some semblance of privacy from outside gazes. You’ve been to Semi’s cubicle a couple of times—more to coordinate paperwork than engage in conversation, really—and he decorated his personal space exactly how a part-time rock band vocalist would. Though he didn’t exactly put up posters and painted the walls black, he added his own flair to his desk with guitar figurines, neon stickers on his desktop, and a photo of his bandmates enclosed in a sparkly picture frame.
The only reason you bothered looking so closely was the fact that you also went to the same university together (under the same degree, too!) You’ve always been keen around him, with his loud way of living, as opposed to you, who’s always chosen to live simply and without pretentiousness. Sure, the disparity between your lifestyles had caused you to be at each other’s throats since freshman year, but it was still a surprise that your synergy was top notch. You would, as Semi put it so delicately, eat your fist first before admitting to the fact, but it’s a given that you preferred to work with him instead of other, unfamiliar people.
You sighed, brandishing a bored look at the bleak document in front of you. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to help him out…
But when you recalled every time he’s talked over you during board meetings, sneered at you when he got a higher score during exams, and his distateful behavior in general, you steeled your resolve.
Either he’s going to get that balance sheet over with or he’ll keel over. If he wanted your help, he’s going to have to work for it.
—
You were in the middle of fixing your belongings when the sound of a stack of papers hitting your desk rang in your ears.
“There,” Semi said breathlessly, making you look up at him in surprise. He even tossed a flash drive on top of the papers he deposited, where you saw the city hall’s heading printed in full color. You reluctantly checked your phone for the time. 16:57, it said, in a mockingly bold typeface before shoving it in your pocket.
The damn guy really did get it done before five.
“The electronic document is saved in there, in case you lose the print.” He was panting at this point, and you had a vague idea as to why he looked like he just ran a marathon. The one printer in your department (this year’s budget was cut) broke down a few days ago, and the nearest functional one was at the Logistics office three floors down.
Still refusing to believe it, you peered at the documents he just brought in. You scanned each of the entries printed on each page. That’s when you realized that Sendai City’s expenses have skyrocketed since the new year because the list of expenses occupied a whole page alone. A worried sigh made its way past your lips, but at least the liabilities were cut down to a minimum. You heard that the governor of Miyagi was going to pledge a few hundred thousand yen for the city’s founding anniversary, too.
You paused. Blinking, you rearranged the papers neatly back into its pile—biting back the urge to clutch your wounded pride. Semi was looking at you expectantly, like he wanted you to praise his flawless bookkeeping.
In actuality, his determination was beginning to freak you out.
“Why do you want me to help you so badly?” you asked, voice almost trembling. “Seriously, dude. I thought we hated each other. Quit acting out of character.”
“I told you, our manager really liked the songs you composed back in senior year,” he drawled, tired of having to repeat himself.
Your face twisted in confusion. “Who even is this manager of yours?”
There was a half-second delay in his response, but before you could paint a reason for his hesitation, he immediately replied with, “Saito. Saito Makoto.”
You stiffened, gaze going rigid at the mention of that name. “Oh.”
“Yeah. If I manage to give him a piece by the end of the month, he’ll help us sign a contract with a big-shot record label,” Semi explained, oblivious to your discomfort.
“But haven’t you been writing songs since high school?” you wondered aloud. “That’s what you said during our Pol-Gov class ice breaker.”
He frowned. “You still remember that?”
Okay. You kept forgetting that your sharp memory wasn’t always a praiseworthy thing. You gulped, feeling the heat creep up your face. “Um, anyway, the point still stands. You’ve been writing songs for God-knows-how-long, and while I’m not one to dish out compliments especially to you, I’m pretty sure they’re okay if you managed to gather a decent fanbase.”
He rolled his eyes, leaning against the divider of your cubicle. “We’re a rock band. I write rock songs, but Saito wants me to write a goddamn love song.”
Typical Saito. Though he looked like a rugged high school delinquent, he was awfully sentimental when it came to music. He was the one who inspired you to write the songs Semi was pestering you about all day after all…
“Fine,” you relented. “I never go back on my word and since you did a…good job with this, I’ll help you out.”
His light brown eyes lit up for a moment, but Semi managed to mask his relief in a split second—containing his excitement in a single nod. “Are you free this Saturday? You can come by my place and we could start getting to work.”
Well, that was forward of him. You expected to work on the song in a coffee shop or something, but he went on ahead and invited you to his own humble abode anyway. You parsed through your weekend plans in your mind, and once you confirmed that you were free, you scribbled down your phone number on a sticky note. Almost five years of acquaintance and you’d never bothered giving it to him. Huh.
“Just text me the time and place,” you told him, pocketing the flash drive as you slipped the balance sheet in one of the empty folders in your organizer. “You better not pull anything funny and lead me to a secluded alley or something.”
Semi scoffed, folding the piece of paper and sticking it inside his trousers. “As if.”
You then slung your bag across your shoulders, grinning insincerely. “Glad we’re on the same page, then.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
With that, Semi exited your cubicle, leaving you no room to wonder why he didn’t even spare a quick ‘thank you’.
Just as you were smoothing out the creases on your pencil skirt, your phone began buzzing in the pocket of your blazer. Brows raised, you fished it out and unlocked it.
From: Makohey, wanna grab some dinner? its on me :3
Speak of the devil. You swallowed the lump in your throat, fingers shakily managing to type a coherent reply.
To: MakoYeah sure. Where to tho
From: Makocan we get some italian? ik u love the udon place across the street but akane’s having dinner w her friends there
From: Makocant have her seeing us together now do we
The way he put that so casually made your chest constrict with a too-familiar sensation. You heaved a deep breath, pursing your lips into a thin line as you sent a quick “Ok” text to end your conversation. Saito replied with those iffy heart-eyed emojis that he only ever used when he wanted something from you, and you had to compose yourself so you wouldn’t burst into tears right there.
“Oi.”
You almost jumped at the sound of Semi’s voice as he peered inside your cubicle once more. He clutched his suitcase in one hand, eyeing you curiously.
“What do you want?”
“You’re headed uptown, too, right?” he asked, and you nodded reluctantly. “Thought you’d want a lift.”
“Semi, just because I’m helping you achieve your dreams, doesn’t mean you have to be nice to me.” You laughed softly, tension easing from his uncalled for kindness.
He, however, looked unconvinced. “Do you want a ride or not?”
You raised your hands in defeat, managing a genuine smile. “Alright, fine. It’ll be a hellish commute anyway.”
You liked to think that that’s how you started becoming friends with your odd, hot-headed co-worker.
#haikyuu!!#semi eita#semi eita x reader#shiratorizawa#hqscenario#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyuu spoilers#hq headcanons#hq!! headcanons
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1. Hey, your submit page is unresponsive... You just answered my question on government. Looks like there's a lot of confusing information. Very sorry. The main thing is in my research I cannot find exact hierarchies of government and positions of control and how important each position is to even build a government and their positions. The main reason is my plot is assigning key positions to those loyal to the prince not the emperor. But I need to know what positions so I can plot.
2. All the plot I mentioned is perhaps background details. First of all, there are two emperors, A and B. A has a daughter, C and sons D’s. B has a son, E. Now, when I said I wanted to have some parallels in modern government, I meant like Tibet. It’s meant to feel like imagining if all of China’s autonomous provinces were like Tibet as well. This is sort of what I meant as D’s lands, still part of A’s empire, but separate. But when A dies, the D’s have to figure out how to rule both what’s
3. theirs and A’s (he didn’t name a successor), but the whole thing falls apart. And that’s also where I’m making parallels, Tibet is trying to not be part of China, like the sons are trying to be their own empire. Then because of this fighting, emperor B beings war and takes over the entire thing adding it to his empire. Mostly keeping the government hierarchy but all loyal to B. That’s why the marriage is important. C had already married E before A died and they absolutely do not like what B
4.did, so are taking the whole thing back, without war, slowly by getting those loyal to C and E into crucial government positions until they can force those loyal to B out. I already have this plot plan so no I’m not asking for how to do plot, but WHAT positions as I can’t research out a good breakdown chart of how any entire government’s control works and how much power the positions have SO I can plot this.___________________________________________________________Mod Note: This was in reference to this previous ask: https://script-a-world.tumblr.com/post/178890566136/a-king-gave-land-to-his-sons-as-part-as-his-empire Please note if you are having trouble submitting or sending an ask, please keep trying or try using a different web browser if you can. Tumblr is not the most functional site, as we all know.Saphira: It sounds like you already know what you need to do. You have your era, you have your culture that you're basing on, and you have your objective.
What I would do in your position is study Chinese Government- but not as a rigid set of rules. Study the people. Study what they did to one another, how new families rose to power.
Once you have that, approach this question again with the perspective of the person who has to assign the roles. I don't believe this is a worldbuilding problem. I think this is the challenge your characters must overcome.
Lurelay: Types of governments, their hierarchies and power dynamics vary greatly from both place to place and time periods. Sometimes the only thing two empires have in common is their status as such.
Trying to find the answers you are looking for would therefore take a lot of research and even then it would be almost impossible for us to know what exactly suits your story and what doesn't – mostly because there is no one perfect way to fill the gaps, but several completely depending on what you prefer. It's your story! Sometimes it's perfectly fine to just make something up if you can't find a perfect real-life equivalent for it.
My advice would be to sit down and start from the boring basics. Know what makes your empire work from the grounds up. Google “types of governments“. Read Wikipedia articles about noble ranks in different countries. Take notes of what you like and adapt what doesn't suit your needs.
Tex: Government hierarchies and positions of control, while necessary for any government to function, requires a nuanced understanding of political and government theories - I think a lot of your confusion stems from an unstable foundation in these areas, because unless you want to research IRL governments (here, Tibet and China) through all of its eras until you find what you want (which you should really do anyway!), a solid grasp of the underpinnings will help you intuitively build a government from scratch.
None of us can write your story for you, so in this instance citing details of your plot and expecting us to be able to produce a chart of a government - something we can't do and if you've already got governments in mind then they should have a public space on their official websites to education their people on their own government - is a detrimental approach for both you and us.
I'm going to list a few Wikipedia articles that I would like you to read, because for the issues you're having with your world, you need to have that foundational understanding of political theory, and I think it would help you greatly if you perused these:
Politics Portal
List of forms of government
.gov - International Equivalents
You're asking us about the specific machinations of a government, so the details of your plot are unnecessary for us to know. If you'd like to come back, and ask specific questions about China's and Tibet's government - such as the different branches or its interactions with the economy or a specific era - please do so. There are no charts for this kind of thing, it's something that you need to have prior knowledge and understanding of basic government function before you can create positions in said government.
Feral: You're in luck! Hello Future Me just finished a phenomenal 3 part series on how to build and then destroy (important to go in that order) a fictional empire. I strongly recommend following Saphira's, Lurelay's, and Tex's advice on research and then check out these three videos. In order:
Part 1: How Do Empires Work? [ Youtube ]
Part 2: How Does an Empire Rise? [ Youtube ]
Part 3: How Does an Empire Fall? [ Youtube ]
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Now Leasing: New Beginnings
Chapter 4: Pyramid
Rating: T
Pairing: Cobra x Lucy
Genre: Humor/Romance
Summary: Lucy has finally achieved her dream, and finalized the purchase of her family’s former home. When she goes to inspect the Heartfilia mansion, however, she finds some very familiar people already occupying it. For CoLu Week 2018.
Word Count: 2,146
On FFN
On AO3
Sorry for the lateness and bulkiness of this chapter. There’s a lot of exposition, but it’s necessary setup for a joke. I portray the guild setup here much the same as real estate agencies (with minor differences), and it’s the setup I use as background for pretty much all of my fics.
The main joke in here is one that I have been seriously contemplating devoting an entire fic to. It’s a fun rabbit hole to consider.
I hope you enjoy.
Lucy contemplated the plans spread out on the kitchen table before her. It had somehow become their default spot for negotiation and planning, though in part that was mostly due to it being one of the only large, flat elevated surfaces left in the mansion. Three pieces of glassware held the corners of the drawing secure and still as she inspected it, the fourth weighed down by Macbeth’s slumbering form.
There was a lot that needed to be done, it turned out, to turn a building into a functioning guild hall.
It also took a lot to turn Crime Sorciere’s present organization into a properly functioning guild model, for that matter.
Groaning, Lucy sank into her seat, plunking her head into the table in imitation of Macbeth. “Why is this so difficult?” she wailed into the paper.
“Because everything in life is,” Cobra responded behind her.
Lucy raised her head, and turned slightly in order to level her fiercest glare at the dragon slayer.
He scoffed at her. “Is that the best you got?”
“No,” she grumbled as he sat down in the chair next to her. “I’m just too exhausted to deal with you right now.”
“So what’s the problem today?” he inquired, peering over the plans. “None of this makes much sense to me, but I’ll give it a shot.”
“How generous of you,” Lucy replied sarcastically. Despite her words, she straightened up in her seat, and pointed at the upper floor of the mansion. “We need to decide how many rooms we want to keep as bedrooms, and how many we want to convert to other purposes. Which means figuring out whether you all wish to live here full time as the founding guild members, or do a kind of live-in plan for new members. I think Jellal is working out the particulars with the Council, but I think he wants to turn this place into a kind of halfway house for rehabilitating mages like yourselves that have run afoul of the law. It’s a good idea, and I’m not against the property being used for that.”
That last part was a little bit of a white lie, and one that Cobra surely picked up on, but in a rare display of kindness, chose to ignore. “So what’s the problem, then?” he asked.
“Money.” Lucy sighed heavily. “I’ve already got a huge mortgage on this place, as I’m sure you’re aware. There’s no way I can secure a construction loan on top of it. Jellal was able to pony up a security deposit and first month’s rent when we signed the rental contract, but unless I go on a well-paid job soon, we won’t be able to afford even the smallest change to this place.” She shrugged helplessly. “And you know what my team is like, so saving money is a little difficult for me as it is, even without me dividing my time up between them and this place.”
Cobra hummed in thought, his eye darting over the plans and taking in the proposed alterations. “Wouldn’t it be up to us to pay for it? Since we’re the ones that need the place changed.”
“Eh.” Lucy held up her hand and made a wobbly gesture with it. “Yes and no. It’s my property, so capital expenditures are mine to deal with, and fixtures required for business are yours. Which is which is where things get a little nebulous.” She heaved another side and rubbed her temple with her fingers. “Neither Jellal nor I really want to hire a lawyer to sort it out on our behalf, but it’s beginning to look like that will be necessary in the long run. Though it’ll all be moot anyway if I can’t drum up enough money to hire one in the first place.”
“Sounds tough,” Cobra stated. “How does a traditional guild make money, by the way? Brain’s flow of income was never exactly obvious to the rest of us, and we weren’t interested besides, so I don’t really have a frame of reference.”
His interest in the matter perked Lucy’s spirits up slightly. “It’s kind of like a pyramid structure,” she told him. Reaching down to the pile of supplies by her feet, she placed a blank sheet of paper onto a clipboard and drew a triangle on it.
“I thought those were bad things,” Cobra muttered as he watched her draw.
“Pyramid schemes are a pretty common way of scamming people, it’s true,” agreed Lucy. “But they’re also pretty useful for displaying money flow.” She drew two horizontal lines near the top of the triangle, sectioning off two small sections. In the bottom, largest section, she wrote Guild Members.
She tapped that section with her pen. “As you’re probably aware, in a typical guild structure a job is posted with a set reward, which the guild members take and earn upon completion. What most people don’t realize, is that the monetary amount posted on the job is not actually the full amount being paid out.” To the side of the pyramid, she scribbled Clients and wrote 1,200 Jewel under it, and then circled both. “Say a client is willing to pay 1,200 Jewel for a job. Of that amount, 1,000 will be posted as the reward on a job flyer, while 200 will be retained by the guild as payment for coordination services. In addition, clients will also pay a small posting fee.” Lucy wrote a plus sign and 50 under the 1,200 Jewel she inscribed earlier. Then she labeled the middle section Guild and wrote in 250 Jewel below it, and then added 1000 Jewel to the Guild Members section.
Glancing up, she asked, “Following me so far?”
“Sure,” Cobra said, his gaze still intent on her makeshift diagram. “But what’s the upper section of the pyramid for?”
Lucy drew a vertical line down the middle of the final section, labeling one half Era and the other Gov. “Guilds have to pay fees and taxes to both the country they’re located in, and to Era for services provided. These fees and taxes go towards services for mages, and they form a large part of Era’s operating budget from what Levy and Mest have told me.”
Cobra thought about it for a moment. “I guess that makes sense.”
“There’s more,” Lucy warned him, and restrained a giggle at his resulting sigh. “For simplicity’s sake, let’s say that the amounts due the government and Era are fixed at 5,000 Jewel each.” Outside of the pyramid, Lucy wrote in 5,000 Jewel on each side since she hadn’t left enough room in the diagram itself. “So basically, the Guild has to make enough money to pay off those obligations, and make enough to fund repairs to guild halls, or providing other things for mages. Fairy Tail has a souvenir shop and a bar with a kitchen to help supplement the income from the jobs, but the margin of profit on both is actually very small if I understood Max correctly when he explained all of this to me.”
Holding up a finger, Lucy waggled it at Cobra. “But there’s actually a second structure that some guilds use instead of this one.”
“Seriously?” Cobra muttered. “Isn’t just having one confusing enough?”
“Apparently some guilds combine the two methods as well,” Lucy informed him. “Which I imagine makes the guild accountants cry.”
“I don’t blame them. So what’s the other method?”
“The guild members pay a monthly fee to the guild, and keep all of the job reward. I think there’s still a posting fee that the guilds retain, but yeah the members get to keep everything. If they don’t go on jobs, though, they run the risk of incurring a large debt to their guild, however, so I’m not particularly fond of this method.”
“Wouldn’t you run much the same risk the other way, though?” Cobra pointed out. “If you don’t go on jobs, you won’t have money for your bills anyway.”
“I guess you have a point,” Lucy acknowledged. “I guess it kind of depends on personal preference.” She smiled at him. “So… how does Crime Sorciere handle its finances?”
Cobra shrugged. “Communal fund, maybe? I’m not sure. Jellal keeps track of it all in his head, so I try to tune him out when he starts thinking too much on it. Usually when one of us needs something, we just ask Jellal to fork over the Jewels for it.”
Lucy blinked at him, a little gob smacked. “And that… works for everyone…?” she ventured.
“Pretty much, yeah.” When her stunned silence continued for longer than he liked, Cobra added, “Listen, it’s not like we’ve ever had proper spending money of our own with how we grew up. I doubt we’d know how to manage it, honestly.”
Pursing her lips, Lucy frowned. “Call me strange, but even if you do make mistakes with your income, it’s still yours to make the mistakes with. Financial autonomy is a pretty important thing to have, you know?”
Cobra shrugged. “If you say so.”
Seeing that she wasn’t going to be able to press issue further with Cobra, Lucy decided to let it go for now. “Alright, it’s your decision to make. But maybe we should look into hiring a guild accountant before anything else, yeah? That way Jellal doesn’t have to… to keep it all in his head.”
“You’re surprised by that,” Cobra observed with delight, a cruel smile spreading across his face. “What, is that something the great Heartfilia Heiress can’t manage herself?”
“Hell no.” Lucy laughed at Cobra’s taken aback expression over her blunt, honest answer. “It’s a lot to keep track of. I hire an accountant to go over my personal taxes every year.”
“Do you make them cry?” Cobra asked, his smile returning.
Lucy hesitated a second too long without responding, resulting in Cobra letting out a great laugh that filled the kitchen. “You do, don’t you?!” he howled with laughter.
Giggles filled Lucy as she, reluctantly, admitted that Cobra had her pegged. “Okay, you’ve got me there. In my defense, my life is an utter mess. So the accountant really should have realized that my finances would be, too.”
“However you wanna justify it to yourself.”
A groan emanated from the third occupant of the kitchen, the fourth paperweight on Lucy’s plans of the mansion. “You two are too noisy,” Macbeth complained.
“Sorry,” Lucy apologized to her former enemy. “If you prefer, I can return to talking about finances. Maybe that will put you back to sleep?”
Her suggestion only sent Cobra into a greater fit of laughter than before and set her to grinning in wicked delight as well. Macbeth sent Lucy a disgusted look before standing up and stalking out of the kitchen.
Privately, Lucy had to admit that Cobra had a nice laugh.
Suddenly, Cobra’s laughter ceased entirely. “Wait a minute,” he said. “So how is it that Fairy Tail makes any money?” He waved her off when she opened her mouth to repeat her earlier lecture. “No, no. I get the basic system. But with Fairy Tail having to pay all sorts of damages and fines, how are they able to make enough money to keep the guild going?”
Lucy hesitated. Her first instinct was to propose the bar and souvenir shop’s proceeds to make up the deficit, but then she remembered how little profit those endeavors actually made. In fact, the bar’s proceeds largely came from the members of Fairy Tail themselves. Some of whom had racked up a significant unpaid tab. Then, with all of the furniture that the members regularly destroyed… Lucy had never heard of the guild members being forced to pay back the guild for any damages to guild property. Somehow, Makarov had pulled together enough funds to completely redo the place as well back when she first joined.
“For that matter,” Cobra continued, either oblivious to the gears turning in Lucy head, or uninterested, “how is it that Fairy Tail can get away with destroying so many towns and such with pretty much no repercussions? You’d think somebody would be pissed about their home being gone.”
Although she wished she could deny it, the fact of Fairy Tail’s destructive leanings was extremely common knowledge. It was hard to reconcile how much Fairy Tail obliterated with the height of the guild’s popularity.
“It… it creates construction jobs…?” Lucy offered tentatively. “Puts that back into the economy…?”
Cobra stared at her dead-on, his single violet eye unblinking. “Is Fairy Tail getting…”
It was Lucy’s turn to cut him off. “Let’s not finish that thought.”
He considered it for a moment, but eventually nodded. “That sounds safer, yeah.” Briefly shaking himself, he then shrugged and changed the subject. “You hungry?”
“Starving.”
With that, the two tried their hardest to put their lingering suspicions out of their minds.
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Info Dump
What I have so far for my ficitional country, (Threa)
It is Post-America, but its a post america where we have resolved all issues of race, gender, money, and pretty much anything else, so now all people can complain about is clothing, and in response to the newest form of hate, the gov (needs a new name[bols?{like bolts of fabric}]) has decided to seperate everyone based on what clothes they wear. This idea soon spread to the other parts of the world and most countries have joined in Threa (To be exact, Canada, France, Spain, Italy, Portugal, Germany, UK?)
So essentially there is a seperation between punk, scene, pastel, boho, vintage, and so on. Also for each subculture within the fashion, there are different places of living. Kind of like apartments.
If you want to move in a different sector if you are a minor you have to sign papers and go through a huge and very long interview process to try and find a host family to take you in. If you are an adult you have to send a notice of leave to the sect leader, and the sect leader will send you a note with a signature and a seal of the sect, then you are able to leave. But finding a new place to live in the sect you are moving to is a huge pain in the ass.
There is a police force (I may call them seq [sequins]) and they should be kind and caring police force (Should is always the key word) If you are a minor going to a new sect the police will approach you and take you to your host family so that you arrive there safely. If you are wearing clothes of another sect and are not visiting another sect, you will be approached by police.
On the outskirts of Threa there is a sect called The Mix, honestly the name of the sect states what fashion the sect is, its a mix of different fashions. People either go there to live, or to sell clothes so visitors can wear the clothes of whatever sect that they are visiting or moving to, or they can live in the mix and wear whatever they feel like. People who live in sects other than The Mix think that people who live there are horrendous (mixing clothes is looked down upon)
There is conflict betweeen sects, but mostly its just in the form of name calling, no physical violence actually happens.(Or at least thats what the Seq and Bols have the people believe{Cause the media loves not showing certain things)
Since the only type of hate is towards other fashions, its more widely accepted for Cas to be genderfluid.
The internet is still a thing, and is a part of every sector, no matter how the sector dresses (Even Vinta has the internet){even Pas}
My OCs all met through Topis and began a friendship, they formed their group after Iris took in Aphris, Thalia is the leader of their group.
My OCs are Cas, Aphris, Sophitia, Iris, And Thalia, and Bree
Still need to ask other people to make OCs
Where each one of my OCs belongs originally Cas= Fae Aphris= Gree Sophitia= Hau Iris= Gree (Lives with Aphris, Aphris moved to Gree from Pas {a small inner sect of Vinta}) Thalia=Punk (She takes in Cas, Cas is 17 so still a minor) Bree= The Mix
Some names I've come up with for Threa Threa= What this Nation is called Seq= Police Force Bols= Government The Mix= Place on outskirts when people can mix fashions, also where people can buy clothes for either moving or visiting Fae= Pastel sector (basing the name on the word fade, which is what people think pastel is, fading colors) Gree=Bohemian sector, very hippie-ish. Pas= subsector of Vinta, trying to recreate the way back fashion of Ancient Greece Vinta= (No not trying to make a dragon age reference to Tevinter{that would be really bad/stupid}) Vinta is the Vintage sector, it has many apartment like structures due to how diverse it is, actually one of the biggest sects, most labor comes from there and Gree. Topis= What we now call the internet Hau= High fashion sector Al= (pronounced 'all') Al is the Alternative fashion sector, and their subsections and divisions within those subsections almost rival Vinta in terms of number. Reb= The punk subsection for sector Al, has a great deal of divisions in it, like cyreb {cyber punk} and faereb {pastel punk} these divisions are not seen as a mix, since they were a fashion of their own in the before time [US] Cyreb= Cyber punk Faereb= Pastel punk Mim= Place for cosplayers of all kind
Backstories for my OCs.
Cas: Cas was born into sector Fae, they were afab, but they always felt like something wasnt right about them, one day they were on Topis and researching genders and sexualities and that was how the found out that they were genderfluid. They came out to their family and their father instantly accepted the fact that Cas was genderfluid, and Cas's mother accepted it but acts very awkwardly around her child. At the age of 16 Cas had started to notice that they weren't comfortable with the clothes they were wearing. Cas informed their parents, and though initially their parents could not accept this, their father understood and started to help Cas in filling out the necessary paperwork to move Cas into the Reb subsector of the Al sector. They had trouble in finding someone to take Cas in, since in the Reb sector not many adults were seen as responsible enough to take care of younger people. Cas one day complained about it in the group chat they and their friends had made, and Thalia pretty much said "Seriously? Twerp you could've just told me, I live in the Reb subsect." So after that Thalia started the paperwork to take in Cas. The paperwork was finished and Cas was approved to move to Reb. Cas said goodbye to their father, their mother now wanted nothing to do with them. Cas went to Sector Al, and Thalia was there, ready to take Cas to their new home. Thalia had a room and clothes for Cas ready. One day when Thalia was out, Cas went snooping through her things, she found some pictures of a girl and a letter that said "Bree is still doing well, stay silent and good and nothing will happen to her." Later when Thalia came home, Cas asked her about the letter and picture, initially Thalia flipped her shit and yelled at Cas for going through her things. After two days of not talking through each other, both Thalia and Cas had apologized for their actions. Thalia then explained about her past and about Bree. Cas was shocked at the news, she had thought that everyhing was perfect in Threa, Thalia made Cas promise to keep what she had told Cas a secret, and Cas agreed. Cas now knows more than she ever wanted to know about Threa.
Aphris: Aphris was born into Pas, one of the inner communities of sector Vinta. Her name is a mix of the Goddesses Aphrodite and Artemis (I am considering making her last name Apstus, based on Hepheastus and Apollo) Aphris was born into her sector and raised among those who wanted to see one of the old ways of life restored to its former glory, she eventually came to not like how her life was, so she wanted to move and change fashion. Aphris had looked online and decided she liked the fashion that belonged to sector Gree. She informed of her parents of her decision to move to a different sector, and they were very much upset... They forced Aphris into staying in her home and repeatedly abused her. Though little did they know that while they slept Aphris had started the process of moving online and, once all the paperwork had been finished and Aphris had found a resident of sector Gree to take her in, she informed the Seq of what her parents were doing to her. The Seq then came and arrested her parents, and Aphris went to live with Iris, she still has many mental health prolbems and flinches a lot if anyone raises their voice to her.
Sophitia: Is a resident of sector Hau, she has lived in a life of sophistication (Her name did not come from the word sophisticated, it honestly came from a video game) and class, on the outside she is the perfect representation of a resident of sector Hau, but she frequently goes to The Mix, she loves dressing in a mix, but knows if she were to tell her family they would be devestated and disown her.(need to write more and flesh her out more)
Iris: Iris is Trans and is a resident of Sector Gree, she has lived a generally easy life, thanks to the problems of the old world being outdated, she works as an herbalist and helps in making medicines for all of Threa. She was contacted by Aphris when Aphris was looking for a place to live. Iris gladly accepted the younger girl into her home, and helped her heal the wounds and scars(physical, mental, and emotional) left from her old home. Aphris sees Iris as her true mother, and Iris has happily accepted her role as mother to Aphris.
Thalia: (Ah my mental state, the one who has seen me through all my bullshit){you done yet?}(Yes) Anyways, Thalia is the oldest member of the online group, she is a resident of subsector Reb in sector Al, she has lived her life alone, save a few one night stands, until Cas contacts her and asks for Thalia to be her caretaker. Thalia finds it interesting that someone from the Fae sector would want to make such a drastic change as to move to Sector Al, even more so that they would want to live in subsect Reb. Thalia accepts and takes in Cas, though Thalia may seem rude (read: shes a bitch){love you too twerp} she's caring and extremely protective of Cas pretty much wrecking anyone who dares to call Cas a "dolly" though Cas insists its fine and that Thalia really doesn't have to defend them, Thalia doesn't listen. Thalia wasn't always alone, dhe once had an entire family, but that was before the sectors were a thing, initially her family was against it.... the Bols didn't like that and took Thalia's parents away, when that happened her twin was upset and he soon got taken away as well, her baby sister was taken so that Thalia herself would'nt rebel either. She is convinced that all of her family is alive, at the least Bree has to be alive, since the Bols send Thalia pictures of Bree to keep her updated on her little sister. She not so secretly hates the Bols, and is very very secretly trying to do something about getting her little sister back from the Bols and Seqs. She secretly thinks of Cas as a younger sibling, but will deny it if anyone asks her.
Bree: She had seen her parents being taken from her at a young age, and not even a year later she saw her brother taken from her. She was then taken from her sister to ensure that her sister kept up "good behavior" Bree hasn't lived an easy life, and she also hasn't been living the life that was told to her sister. Bree had escaped from her captivity a long, long time ago. She had taken refuge in The Mix, no one in the Mix knows who she truely is, they only see a little orphan girl. The pictures that the Bols send her sister are pictures of a different girl. She does want to return to her sister, but knows if she does she will just be taken from Thalia once again. (Need to change this later)
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Korean Visa Application H-1
I want to try and be as in depth as possible when writing this but its been a while since i started the visa application so it may be a bit. I want to start by saying my overall visa application cost me around £420, from forms I needed to collect and mailing fees, all of that good stuff as i had a deadline for when i wanted to be there i needed everything fast tracked. And I'm writing it from UK application guidlines as I know other countries differ. You will not receive any of these documents back, only your passport will return if accepted. If you have queries the Korean embassy in your home country can answer some, in the UK they have an email address you can contact if like me you hate phone calls
Lets start with thing that were needed for application
• Application form
• Activity Plan
• Medical statement issued within last 3 months
• Passport
• Return flight itinerary
• Bank statement showing £1,500 in the last 3 months
• Criminal Background check with an Apostille
• Visa Fee
Application form is readily available for download on the Korean Embassy site along with the Activity Plan template.
The Application form is pretty straight forward, asks the basic questions. The only part i got a little torn on was the reason for visit, it gives you multiple selections such as work, tourism, diplomatic, study, marriage and so on. Now as I was choosing Working Holiday I didn't know if Work or Tourism would be the one to select, so instead I used the 'Other' and specified the 'H1 Working Holiday Visa'. It must've worked.
I need to add when sending all documents off you must have a return envelope paid for too because they won't send it back otherwise...Not like you haven't paid enough already.
Activity plan is something I've seen mixed answers online for regarding how in depth you should be on them.
For me personally I put down 4 activities a month varying on what to do. I find a Activity plan hard to write out considering you dont know what you will do when there and how flexible your job and funds are but fill it out anyway, learn some history and show willingness to learn!
Medical statement, this was annoying I honestly thought this should be easy. I went into my doctors office to book an appointment and told them why and immediately they had no idea what i was talking about. In advance I brought forms stating what was needed (basic thing sahing I was in good health) so i was expecting a basic medical check. They told me to give them a week to talk to the doctor and search what was needed. And as theyre the professionals i assumed that they knew best. After a week they called back and said doctor had written a letter confirming I was in good health. No medical check at all... but got my letter cost £15.
Passport...I can't write much on this...just send it...oh but make sure you have sufficient time left from expiry date
Return flight Itinerary. Ok this annoyed me. I paid for a private company to get me return flight itinerary as far into future as possible as flights 1 year in advance do not exist. Only to find as long as you have sufficient funds in bank you dont need to do this. Something that the embassy does not tell you. Dont waste money.
Bank statement, before we begin if youre planning on living alone in Korea you need a lot more than this if you want to be in a main area. Deposits alone can be up to £6,600 (can be lower but expect higher rent). You can get cheaper but means going further from Seoul or from the main subway line. Most on the green line which connects to major points like Hongdae and Gangnam will be expensive.
I'm not even kidding. Stupidly expensive.
But this was easiest just go into local bank and they'll print it off for free my bank was nice enough to do a little more than 3 months to be on the safe side.
Criminal background check. This probably cost me the most and annoyed me the most.
Getting a DBS certificate is pretty easy you apply on the .gov site but you do have to enter many forms of identity and they said i didnt have enough so i had to wait to receive a letter but it came swiftly but it does cost to get this certificate.
Now I'd never heard of an Apostille previously this was a new thing so I searched on what was needed, i was tomd to see a solicitor and get them to verify the document then send it away for the Apostille. So i went to a well known big solicitor group they copied it and signed the copy stating the original was true cost £5. So i sent my it off with the original then it all come back stating it wasnt proof of originality so i took it all back to them and they said we will do it again now with the correct information. And they did do it again. But the same as first time, I told them that its safe as rejected one but they insisted they were correct. I knew I'd be met with same issues so i found a private solicitors and went in there. They admitted to never having to write on a certificate before but did it anyway for me as it was what was told to be done. She declared it as original and signed it giving all her information and dates done again costing £5. I am so thankful for her to listen to me unlike the others. Once this was done my Apostille was accepted. But cost a lot in one day delivery fees.
Visa fee, the visa is multi entry (£154 I think) you cannot pay by cash when you send this away. It has to be postal checks named out to the receiver. You can get these in the local post office when sending your application.
Collecting all the forms can be a tedious and pricey thing so make sure you have saved enough for it.
Sorry for any overlooked mistskes
If you have questions feel free to ask :)
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How Hollywood Killed the Oscars
Conceptual performance artists and the ethics of art and activism…
Foreword: I investigated and wrote this at the beginning of 2021, but had to wait until the pudding proof. I only sent it to those I knew personally who would think about it. I feared that rest of you would’ve castigated me.
Traveling and working in the arts I've lived and worked with different cultures for years at a time. Arts and trades friends and I lobbied Australia gov to save an Aboriginal sacred site as a natural open-air arts venue in Byron Bay. I’ve lived in Haight Ashbury for the past 20 years. One of the reasons I like San Francisco is that all races get along here. That is until BLM. Then everybody was deer in the headlights afraid of each other. Now people are trying to shake off the whole BLM and other acronyms and get back to being nice to each other.
But it was scary-ass sh.t. A white chick was trying to gather people for a riot on Haight Street. I wiped the slogan, in big letters, off her van. She came out of her van swinging her baseball bat. I let my Outback Ozzie Battler come out and a tai chi maneuver to fend her off. Then let out my inner Haight Ashbury freak and screamed like a crazy psycho at her.
Then I told the huge black armed security guards on Haight Street if they see anybody with riot and its slogans to nip it in the bud. Anybody who’s worked with big crowds at concerts knows about crowd psychosis. A frot man or front woman on stage has two jobs. To entertain and to keep a crowd under control.
Then I did some research to see what the fuss is about...
The Black Lives Mater movement reclaims slavery as a 1960's protest. It so wasn’t about that! I live in a loft in Haight Asbury, which was the speakeasy for the Black Panther’s fundraisers in the 1960s. The original bar is still here. So are some interesting hidden cupboards. We assume they were stash boxes, because cannabis was illegal in the 1960s. But I digress from why BLM and associated acronyms are blowing smoke up your ass. In the 1960s the Black Power Movement was not about slavery. Black Panthers and associates couldn’t claim black slavery as a protest. Because their ancestors were slave traders. White slavery has been around for thousands of years and is still going. I’m not an expert on the subject, but you can look it up in a real history book. Some Hasidic Jewish men still sell their wives and daughters into sex slavery. There are non-profits in New York about it. If researching black and white slavery, try the non-USA versions for perspective. Below is a nutshell. The American black slave trade was self-defense. After thousands of white settlers kidnapped and sold into slavery in Africa. Such as the town called Roanoke. The whole town of settlers taken twice. Roanoke sits on the African slave traders’ route from South America. From their fleets of ships on the sea, African slavers could see the smoke of the settlers’ cooking fires. There were no US navy and Coast Guard to defend the coasts back then. The problem with studying history is that ancient aliens aren’t interesting anymore. Art history is the most nit picking. Why art gets created and destroyed. What’s the motivation? Wha’s in the artist’s head? The origin of their inspiration? Is their work really a protest, or art dressed up as activism? Are they creating the art for art, ego, madness or money? The founders of Black Lives Matter. Patrice Collors, and AOC, real jobs are trained performance artists, from Hollywood. There are years of LA arts industry press about them. Their act is public group performance. Getting crowds to gather to do something, including public agitation.
That act didn't sell enough books to pay for multimillion$ houses and $25,000 restaurant tabs. So they called themselves Marxists and touted black rights spiced with fake history. To get uneducated students riled to cause riots. Now Patrice Collors does red carpet at the Oscars. For hyping up people to hate each other and hurt each other and destroy businesses and lives. To young men angry and attack defenseless elderly people and other races. That’s not art, that’s a nasty ego with greed and madness. Yes?
If you work in the arts or media for a few years in California you see psycholical patterns in artists seeking fame in Hollywood. Red carpet at the Oscars and multimillion$ houses are their ultimate goal. Else they wouldn’t be in Hollywood. New York or San Francisco is where top art for art’s sake is at in the USA.
Hollywood artists will do and say anything to get their time on the red carpet. A conceptual artist can tell themselves it is all art, no matter what it is, harmful or not. To them it is nothing but art and a form of madness, but the lure of money brings the ego, “fame”, into it.
I'm an art historian. I research why art gets and destroyed. Including marxism. That Patrice Collors actually trained in marxism I find doubtful. African Americans are staunch Baptists. God bless them and their amazing music. Marxism doesn’t mix with freedom of art or religion. Follow the money and do the math. The total is an artist doing her “art” for money and ego’s sake for the red carpet and multimillion dollar real estate. Not for art’s sake, nor the people’s sake, and not for her people's sake.
I’ve not looked into AOC, because what I found of Patrice Collors was blowing my mind enough. I actually thought AOC was an organization. What made me notice AOC is a selfie video rant that youtube autoplayed. To jaded cynical me who's seen it too many times... AOC looked like she’d had a “bump”, roadie slang for a dose of heavy drugs. Even the freaks in Haight Ashbury said “… she looks like she’s on crack.” Their words, from hardened rock and rap concert roadies. Seen a lot of people on many kinds of drugs in San Francisco and Hollywood.
“Interventionalist History” What AOC seems to be accusing those who don’t disagree with her.
“…a policy of interfering in another nation's affairs through coercion or threat of force. Intervention can be political, military, economic, cultural, or humanitarian, or often some combination of these...” study.com
“…an intervention is defined as a threatening act that is unwelcome by the target of one's intervention…” britannica.com
“… practice of intervening specifically : governmental interference in economic affairs at home or in political affairs…” merriam-webster.com
“…coercion or threat of force… unwelcome by the target of one's intervention… specifically: governmental interference in economic affairs at home…” What is BLM and AOC and associated acronyms doing to everybody who doesn’t agree with them in their home, the USA? How can anybody truthfully agree with anything based on fake history or fake news? The reason why so many people publicly agree with this cr.p is fear of being threatened, bullied and Black List. Even if they don’t understand what the cr.p is about.
The Hollywood Black List has turned USA screen offerings into unwatchable cr.p. Even on TV. It’s now rewriting history books into Ancient Aliens and winged beings with super powers. Instead of the truth. The truth that people from prehistory to the 21st century are smarter than Hollywood and media allows us to know. That’s the real reason why the Oscar ratings are at record lows.
Hollywood is writing for teenagers who want to know about sex and violence and ETs. They are not writing for jaded adults who want to relax with something think about. They watch the same English TV series over and over every night to avoid the Hollywood sex and violence. It’s also why youtube and social media are popular. Now I’m talking like an art historian.
I’m always surprised at how many USA citizens prefer English TV. Including hardened roadies and ICU nurses living in Haight Ashbury, San Francisco. They see violence and sex on the street and at work every day. They want to relax and think about something else on their time off. Once people are out of college, they are usually over the sex and violence. And kiddie lit is for baby bumps.
Pump sex and violence into kids’ heads whenever they can hack into it. Which is every night after the parents are asleep. And on their phones going to and from school. And accosted on social media by predators every 10 minutes. What will happen?
Remember that concentrated light, the screen, is the strongest hypnotic medium ever. Clinically tested and used by all the “secret agencies” and as medical therapy. Hypnotize sex and violence and UFO’s into impressionable minds for more than ten, 10, years on end. What will you get? Think about it.
Another thing that often surprises me is the politics of many people at the top of show biz. The producers behind the producers. They also don’t watch the sex and violence shows. They are progressive conservatives, not liberals, even in San Francisco. They feel safe talking to me, because I’m from Australia and an open minded neutral observer. And I'm too jaded to be bothered.
You could castigate me, but in show biz “The proof is in the ratings.” Hollywood created this big m…f… mess by indoctrinating hate and fear and greed! The Oscar ratings told you so. Hollywood is who can cleans the big m…f… mess up.
Make money from art yes, that’s why we are all here, we work in the arts industries. But don’t indoctrinate people to be hateful and fearful and greedy and call it art. Allow people to be adults. Allow people to be nice to each other.
In case you haven’t looked it up, all art and music originated out of spirituality and religion. Not out of politics.
The ancient Romans actually changed their laws to accommodate the Hebrew region. It was the Hebrews to wanted to fight anyway and destroyed all the art. Hollywood movies are not history.
Grow up and play nice and allow your children to be children and allow them grow up in a safe world that plays nice. A dripping tap fills a bucket of hate or a bucket of nice the exact same way. You are a public mirror, will you mirror hate and fear and greed? Will you mirror a community of all races and cultures living in harmony?
That is what the Black Panthers were really about. That is likely why their fundraising speakeasy was in Haight Ashbury. Nobody hated anybody in Haight Ashbury in the 1960s. They wanted the freedom to be and do what you want to.
And do no harm, because all lives fucking matter.
You all need a sense of something higher than yourselves to be humble to. It will enable you to stop being self-entitled assholes.
With Love
GigsList
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Here’s what you need to know:
Notre Dame is temporarily shutting its campus to control an outbreak.
Possibly exposed? Don’t quarantine, keep working, Tennessee school districts tell their teachers.
Pooled testing has become worthless in areas of the U.S., in part because there are simply too many cases.
Deaths in American correctional facilities surpass 1,000, as cases rise to 160,000.
Idaho, facing hundreds of new cases a day, is the state furthest behind its testing target.
N.Y.C. hotels and short-term rentals must make travelers from restricted states fill out health forms, the mayor says.
After a substantial reduction in cases, the virus roars anew in France.
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Students returned to Notre Dame’s campus near South Bend, Ind., this month.Credit…Robert Franklin/South Bend Tribune, via Associated Press
Notre Dame is temporarily shutting its campus to control an outbreak.
The University of Notre Dame announced on Tuesday that it would move to online instruction for at least the next two weeks in an attempt to control a growing coronavirus outbreak and would shut down the campus entirely if those measures failed to stop the spread.
“If these steps are not successful, we will have to send students home, as we did last spring,” Notre Dame’s president, the Rev. John I. Jenkins, said in a video address to students, noting that he had been inclined to take that step before consulting with health officials.
The school will also close public spaces on campus and restrict dormitories to residents. Students who live in off-campus housing must stay off campus and “associate with housemates only,” he said, with a limit on gatherings reduced from 20 to 10 people.
On Tuesday, the school reported that at least 147 people on campus had tested positive since students began returning on Aug. 3 for the start of classes a week later. Eighty of those confirmed cases were added on Tuesday.
“The virus is a formidable foe,” Mr. Jenkins said. “For the past week, it has been winning.”
On Monday, the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill became the first large university in the country to shut down classes after students had returned. The school moved all undergraduate courses online after 177 students tested positive and another 349 students were forced to quarantine because of possible exposure.
And on Tuesday, Ithaca College in upstate New York said that it would extend remote learning through the fall semester, despite its plans to bring students back to campus in waves starting this month. In a statement, Shirley M. Collado, the president of the college, called the reversal “an agonizing decision.”
The college had released a fall reopening plan last week, which included an indoor mask mandate and testing for students returning to to campus. But Prof. Collado said Tuesday that “bringing students here, only to send them back home, would cause unnecessary disruption in the continuity of their academic experience.”
U.N.C., with 30,000 students, started classes on Aug. 10, the same day that courses resumed at Notre Dame, a campus of 8,600 students near South Bend, Ind. Notre Dame tested all of its students before they returned to campus, with 33 positive results.
Across the United States, Greek life has come under particular scrutiny amid reports of outbreaks at fraternities and sororities. On Tuesday, health officials in Riley County, Kan., reported a new outbreak of cases associated with the Phi Delta Theta fraternity at Kansas State University — 13 members tested positive — and recommended quarantine for anyone who had been in contact with those infected.
A Notre Dame spokesman said a significant number of its cases were connected to two off-campus parties where students, mostly seniors, did not wear masks or practice social distancing. Most of those who have tested positive live in off-campus housing, the spokesman, Paul Brown, said.
Both North Carolina and Notre Dame said athletic teams were unaffected. Notre Dame is ordinarily an independent in football but is planning to play this fall in the Atlantic Coast Conference, which also counts North Carolina as a member. Unlike the Pac-12 and the Big Ten, the A.C.C. has not yet abandoned its fall season.
Beyond the immediate matter of whether sports like football should be played this autumn, this week’s approach by North Carolina could ultimately factor into debates over players’ rights and whether the hyphen in “student-athlete” might be more properly replaced with “or.”
“The optics aren’t very good, if you take the principle that all college athletes are students first,” said Walter Harrison, a former president of the University of Hartford who once was chairman of the committee that evolved into the N.C.A.A.’s top governing body.
Possibly exposed? Don’t quarantine, keep working, Tennessee school districts tell their teachers.
Teachers in at least six Tennessee public school districts who may have been exposed to coronavirus can be required to go right on teaching in person anyway, under policies approved by their districts.
The districts, located in six counties in eastern and central Tennessee, are adapting C.D.C. guidelines for essential workers, according to Beth Brown, president of the Tennessee Education Association, a teachers’ organization. District officials did not immediately respond to messages seeking comment.
Under C.D.C. guidelines, most people are supposed to go into quarantine for 14 days after possible exposure. But the school districts say teachers may be expected to forego quarantine and keep working as long as they do not show symptoms, provided that “additional precautions are implemented to protect them and the community.”
Researchers have found that people who have caught the virus can spread it before they show symptoms, or without ever developing them.
John C. Bowman, executive director of Professional Educators of Tennessee, another teachers’ organization, said he expected more districts to adopt the same policies, because of a shortage of substitute teachers to cover for any who are quarantined. And he said he expected to see some teachers quit their jobs because of the policies.
“Teachers are afraid,” Mr. Bowman said. “You can open up the school buildings all day long — that’s the easy part. But without healthy educators and staff available. they’re just buildings.”
Some schools in Tennessee have been open for almost three weeks, and a few have seen virus-related disruptions. In Putnam County, at least 80 students have been quarantined because of a potential coronavirus exposure, and a middle school and a high school in Maury County postponed reopening by a few days because teachers were in quarantine.
Gov. Bill Lee said at a news conference Tuesday that the state would soon be providing districts with guidelines on what precautions they must take to designate employees as “critical infrastructure workers.”
Pooled testing has become worthless in areas of the U.S., in part because there are simply too many cases.
A Roche Cobas 8800 System is used for Covid-19 testing at a Quest Diagnostics facility in Teterboro, N.J. In July, Quest became the first commercial lab to receive emergency authorization for pooled testing.Credit…Ryan Christopher Jones for The New York Times
Earlier this summer, Trump administration officials hailed a new strategy for catching coronavirus infections: pooled testing.
The decades-old approach combines samples from multiple people to save time and precious testing supplies. Federal health officials like Dr. Anthony S. Fauci and Adm. Brett Giroir said pooling would allow for constant surveillance of large sectors of the community, and said they hoped it would be up and running nationwide by the time students returned to school.
But now, when the nation desperately needs more tests to get a handle on the virus’s spread, this efficient approach has become worthless in many places, in part because there are simply too many cases to catch.
Pooled testing only works when the vast majority of batches test negative, among other drawbacks with the procedure. If the proportion of positives is too high, more pools come up positive — requiring each individual sample to then be retested, wasting precious chemicals.
Nebraska’s state public health laboratory, for example, was a pooling trailblazer when it began combining five samples a test in mid-March, cutting the number of necessary tests by about half.
But the lab was forced to halt its streak on April 27, when local positivity rates — the proportion of tests that turn up positive — surged past 10 percent. With that many positives, there was little benefit in pooling.
“It’s definitely frustrating,” said Dr. Baha Abdalhamid, the assistant director of the laboratory. In combination with physical distancing and mask-wearing, pooling could have helped keep the virus in check, he added. But the pooling window, for now, has slammed shut.
Still, the strategy has made significant headway in some parts of the country. In New York, where test positivity rates have held at or below 1 percent since June, universities, hospitals, private companies and public health labs are using the technique in a variety of settings, often to catch people who aren’t feeling sick, said Gareth Rhodes, an aide to the governor and a member of his virus response team. Last week, the State University of New York was cleared to start combining up to 25 samples at once.
Key data of the day
Deaths in American correctional facilities surpass 1,000, as cases rise to 160,000.
San Quentin State Prison in California is home to the nation’s largest known coronavirus cluster.Credit…Eric Risberg/Associated Press
The number of known deaths in prisons, jails and other correctional facilities among prisoners and correctional officers has surpassed 1,000, according to a New York Times database tracking deaths in correctional institutions.
The number of deaths in state and federal prisons, local jails and immigration detention centers — which stood at 1,002 on Tuesday morning — has increased by about 40 percent during the past six weeks, according to the database. There have been nearly 160,000 infections among prisoners and guards.
The actual number of deaths is almost certainly higher because jails and prisons perform limited testing on inmates, including many facilities that decline to test prisoners who die after exhibiting symptoms consistent with the coronavirus.
A recent study showed that prisoners are infected at a rate more than five times the nation’s overall rate. The death rate of inmates is also higher than the national rate — 39 deaths per 100,000 compared to 29 deaths per 100,000.
The Times’s database tracks coronavirus infections and deaths among inmates and correctional officers at some 2,500 prisons, jails and immigration detention centers.
The nation’s largest known virus cluster is at San Quentin State Prison in California, where more than 2,600 inmates and guards have been sickened and 25 inmates have died after a botched transfer of inmates in May. “It’s the perfect environment for people to die in — which people are,” said Juan Moreno Haines, an inmate at San Quentin.
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Idaho, facing hundreds of new cases a day, is the state furthest behind its testing target.
A testing site in Moscow, Idaho, in July.Credit…Geoff Crimmins/The Moscow-Pullman Daily News, via Associated Press
Idaho, one of the states where new cases peaked this summer, is doing the least amount of testing in the country necessary to understand and contain the virus across the state, according to a New York Times database. Testing is critical to reducing the spread of the virus.
Harvard researchers developed a formula to determine how many daily tests a specific state should be doing to slow the spread of the virus. The researchers said that, at the very least, there should be enough daily tests to assess anyone with flulike symptoms, plus an additional 10 people for any symptomatic person who tests positive.
The United States is testing only 52 percent of what it should be to slow the spread of the virus, according to the Harvard model, and Idaho is hitting just 16 percent of the daily testing it needs to be doing. The state also has a 16 percent positivity rate, and the World Health Organization has said a positivity rate has to be under 5 percent for at least two weeks to signal that spread is under control. (That figure is based on the assumption that the state or region is meeting their testing target.)
Idaho is also among the states that have reported the highest number of new cases per 100,000 people over the past seven days, even as the number of new cases there has slowed.
The state’s response to the virus, led by Gov. Brad Little, a Republican, came under fire in the earliest days of the pandemic for not doing enough to stop the spread of the virus. In late March, Idaho saw an average of about 16 new cases a day, compared with the current average, over a seven-day period, of more than 400 a day. Idahoans were told on March 25 to stay at home, and the state started reopening in phases on May 1.
But cases started to mount in mid-June, as happened across several states. The amount of testing in Idaho has increased since the onset of the virus, but delays in getting results have hurt efforts to contain the spread.
Elsewhere in the U.S.:
Officials in Kentucky reported 19 new deaths on Tuesday, a single-day record. The previous single-day record was 17 new deaths reported on April 21st.
The S&P 500 closed at a record high on Tuesday, a remarkable display of investor optimism despite an economic decline that has sent unemployment soaring. Technology stocks played a big role in the gains, which were also fueled by the trillions of dollars pumped into financial markets by the Federal Reserve and enormous spending by the government to protect American workers and businesses from the worst of the downturn.
Senate Republicans on Tuesday began circulating text of a narrow coronavirus relief package that would revive extra unemployment benefits at half the original rate, shield businesses from lawsuits related to the virus and provide funding for testing and schools. The draft measure appears to be an effort to break through the political stalemate over providing another round of economic stimulus to Americans during the pandemic. But it is unlikely to alter the debate in Washington, where Democrats have repeatedly rejected previous Republican offers as insufficient. The new bill would spend less money, in fewer areas, than those earlier offers.
Democrats opened an extraordinary presidential nominating convention on Monday night, offering a vivid illustration of how both the pandemic and widespread opposition to President Trump have upended the country’s politics. Perhaps the most searing critique of Mr. Trump came not from an elected official but from Kristin Urquiza, a young woman whose father, a Trump supporter, died after contracting the virus. Speaking briefly and in raw terms about her loss, Ms. Urquiza said of her father, “His only pre-existing condition was trusting Donald Trump, and for that he paid with his life.”
Covid-19 strike teams apply an emergency response model traditionally used in natural disasters like hurricanes and wildfires to combating outbreaks in long-term care facilities. Composed of about eight to 10 members from local emergency management departments, health departments, nonprofits, private businesses — and at times, the National Guard — the teams are designed to bring more resources and personnel to a disaster scene.
New York Roundup
N.Y.C. hotels and short-term rentals must make travelers from restricted states fill out health forms, the mayor says.
The Wythe hotel in Brooklyn in June.Credit…Jeenah Moon for The New York Times
New York City will require that hotels and short-term rental companies make travelers from dozens of states fill out forms with their personal information before they can have access to their rooms, or provide proof they had already done so, Mayor Bill de Blasio said Tuesday. Those travelers were already required by the state to quarantine for 14 days and to fill out the state’s health form, but the new measure, which goes into effect Friday, is another attempt at ensuring compliance with the rules that many are flouting in the city.
Both hotels and guests could be subject to fines of up to $2,000 for ignoring the rule, according to a spokeswoman for the mayor. People who had recently traveled to areas outside the city accounted for 15 to 20 percent of cases in the city over the past month, according Dr. Jay Varma, one of the mayor’s health advisers. Mr. de Blasio urged New Yorkers to avoid traveling to places restricted by New York State unless it was necessary.
Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo said Tuesday that travelers from Alaska and Delaware will now also be required to quarantine for 14 days, joining a list of 31 other states as well as Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands.
“If you have a choice in travel, don’t go where the problem is,” Mr. de Blasio said, adding that “because, of course, if you go there there’s a chance you bring that disease back.”
New York State’s list changes each week, which has forced some college students to abandon longstanding travel plans and quickly find accommodations to serve out the quarantine. More than 59,000 private-college students in New York come from states on the list as of Tuesday, according to the Commission on Independent Colleges and Universities.
Elsewhere in the New York area:
The number of apartments for rent in New York City has soared to the highest rate in more than a decade, a sign that a notable number of residents have left the city because of the outbreak, at least temporarily, potentially creating a new obstacle to reviving the local economy. The surge in supply has driven down rental costs across the city and forced landlords to offer generous concessions, including up to three months’ free rent and paying the expensive fees brokers command.
New York City will not open gyms before Sept. 2, the mayor said Tuesday as the city needs more time to complete the inspections required under new state guidance. The state had said that gyms could open as early as Aug. 24, but the mayor said that city officials have been focused on reopening schools and child care centers. The state’s guidance on gyms also clarified that rules on capacity and mask-wearing applied in apartment building gyms, and said that buffs, bandannas and gaiters could not be used as face coverings in gyms statewide.
The compensation packages of museum directors are drawing scrutiny as their institutions try to fill budget holes with cutbacks that have included layoffs and furloughs of lesser-paid staffers.
Travelers to Connecticut and New Jersey will now be subject to a 14-day quarantine if they are coming from Alaska and Delaware, as well as dozens of other states and two territories, though compliance is voluntary in New Jersey. Connecticut also removed Washington State from its list.
GLOBAL ROUNDUP
After a substantial reduction in cases, the virus roars anew in France.
A recent resurgence of cases in France has made mask wearing mandatory in widening areas of Paris and other cities across the country.Credit…Charles Platiau/Reuters
Faced with a recent resurgence of cases, officials in France have made mask wearing mandatory in business spaces across the country, pleading with people not to let down their guard and jeopardize the hard-won gains made against the virus during a two-month lockdown this spring.
The government on Tuesday announced the mandate for mask wearing in business spaces, building on mask policies that had been in place. France “cannot wait for the health situation to get worse,” Elisabeth Borne, the French labor minister, wrote on Twitter. “With our business partners, we want to take every precaution to avoid the propagation of the virus, to protect workers and guarantee the continuity of economic activity.”
The signs of a new wave of infection emerged over the summer as people began resuming much of their pre-virus lives, traveling across France and socializing in cafes, restaurants and parks. Many, especially the young, have visibly relaxed their vigilance.
In recent days, France has recorded about 3,000 new infections every day, roughly double the figure at the beginning of the month, and the authorities are investigating an increasing number of clusters.
Thirty percent of the new infections are in young adults, ages 15 to 44, according to a recent report. Since they are less likely to develop serious forms of the illness, deaths and the number of patients in intensive care remain at a fraction of what they were at the height of the pandemic. Still, officials are not taking any chances.
“The indicators are bad, the signals are worrying, and the situation is deteriorating,” Jérôme Salomon, the French health ministry director, told the radio station France Inter last week. “The fate of the epidemic is in our hands.”
France has suffered more than 30,400 deaths from the virus — one of the world’s worst tolls — and experienced an economically devastating lockdown from mid-March to mid-May. Thanks to the lockdown, however, France succeeded in stopping the spread of the virus and lifted most restrictions at the start of summer.
The course of the pandemic in Europe has followed a somewhat similar trend, with Spain also reporting new local clusters. But important disparities exist among countries. In the past week, as France reported more than 16,000 new cases, Britain reported 7,000, and Italy 3,000, according to data collected by The Times.
In other developments around the world:
While Hong Kong’s latest outbreak appears to be tapering off generally, testing has revealed a new cluster among the port city’s dock workers, who often live in cramped dormitories. As of Monday, 57 dockside laborers were among 65 cases linked to the city’s Kwai Tsing Container Terminals. On Monday, the Union of Hong Kong Dockers called on container companies to expand their accommodation for employees and to hire workers directly instead of outsourcing recruitment to smaller firms.
Sweden has temporarily recalled its diplomats from North Korea, citing increasing difficulties with travel and diplomatic postings, in part because of the pandemic. The Swedish embassy remains open with local staff, and “Sweden is engaged in dialogue with North Korea on these subjects,” a spokesman for the Swedish Ministry for Foreign Affairs said.
Officials in New Zealand on Tuesday pushed back against Mr. Trump’s assertion that it was “having a big surge.” New Zealand, where the national election has been delayed from September to October because of a growing cluster in Auckland, has reported 22 deaths and fewer than 1,700 cases during the entire pandemic. “I’m not concerned about people misinterpreting our status,” Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said.
After a surge in infections in the past week, South Korea tightened social-distancing rules in the Seoul metropolitan area, banning all gatherings of more than 50 people indoors and more than 100 outdoors and shutting down high-risk facilities such as nightclubs, karaoke rooms and buffet restaurants. Prime Minister Chung Sye-kyun also said that churches must switch to online prayer services.
Greece has locked down two facilities for migrants where new infections have been traced, after another overcrowded reception center was put under lockdown last week, the government said. The infections are part of a recent spike in the number of cases in Greece, which has weathered the pandemic relatively well so far, with just over 7,200 confirmed cases and 230 deaths. But the authorities this week introduced new restrictions to address local outbreaks and have warned of more measures if the upward trend continues.
Countries putting their own interests ahead of others in trying to ensure supplies of a possible coronavirus vaccine are making the pandemic worse, the director general of the World Health Organization said on Tuesday, Reuters reported. “No one is safe until everyone is safe,” the agency’s leader, Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, said during a briefing in Geneva. The organization also said the pandemic was now being driven by young people, many of whom were unaware they were infected, posing a danger to vulnerable groups.
A series of photographs and videos posted by Agence France-Presse captured a moment on Saturday night when hundreds of people attended a pool-party rave that would have been unthinkable only months ago. It was in Wuhan, the city in central China where the coronavirus pandemic began late last year. Life appears to be slowly returning to normal in China, even in its hardest-hit city, as other countries struggle with new outbreaks. Shanghai Disneyland reopened in May, while movie theaters reopened across China last month.
A series of new reports clarify susceptibility to Covid-19 and a possible new direction for treatment.
STUDIES ON HIGH-RISK WORK PLACES
Workers in factories, warehouses and building sites are at especially high risk of infection as American businesses reopen, according to a new report from government public health researchers.
The new analysis, published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, helps clarify which economic sectors pose the greatest danger, at a time when states are bracing for a possible new phase of the epidemic in the fall.
The C.D.C. report, along with two other just-published findings — one analyzing Covid-19 hospitalizations, the other deaths — also sheds light on racial disparities in the shape and the impact of the U.S. epidemic.
Black and Latino people were far more likely than non-Hispanic white people to be hospitalized for Covid-19, one study found. But ethnicity was not related to the risk of later dying of the disease, the other study concluded. Both were posted by the medical journal JAMA.
REMDESIVIR
A large federal study that found an experimental antiviral drug, remdesivir, can hasten the recovery of hospitalized Covid-19 patients has begun a new phase of investigation.
Researchers will examine whether adding another drug — beta interferon, which has already been approved to treat multiple sclerosis and mainly kills viruses, but can also tame inflammation — would improve remdesivir’s effects and speed recovery even more.
In a large clinical trial, sponsored by the National Institutes of Health, remdesivir was shown to modestly shorten recovery time by four days on average, but it did not reduce deaths.
RARE IMMUNE SYNDROME
Multisystem inflammatory syndrome, the severe illness that strikes some children with the coronavirus, is distinct from both Kawasaki disease and from Covid-19 in adults, according to a new study.
Most children infected with the coronavirus have mild symptoms, if any at all. But on very rare occasions, some develop so-called MIS-C, characterized by widespread inflammation in the heart, lungs, brain, skin and other organs. In the United States, there were 570 confirmed cases of the syndrome and 10 deaths as of Aug. 6.
The study, published Tuesday in Nature Medicine, analyzed immune cells in 15 boys and 10 girls, aged 7 to 14 years, with the syndrome.
When the children were acutely ill with MIS-C, their immune cells behaved differently than they did in adults with Covid-19. The pattern also differs from that seen in Kawasaki disease, a similarly rare inflammatory condition in young children.
As of Aug. 3, children account for 7.3 percent of U.S. coronavirus cases, but make up about 22 percent of the overall population. The actual proportion of infected children is likely to be higher, because testing is still focused primarily on adults with symptoms.
Help yourself be more productive.
You don’t need to finish everything to feel productive. Satisfaction can and should come from the smaller accomplishments in your day. Here’s how to refocus your attention on your smaller wins.
Reporting was contributed by Alan Blinder, Alexander Burns, Stephen Castle, Choe Sang-Hun, Troy Closson, Nick Corasaniti, Hannah Critchfield, Brendon Derr, Claire Fu, Thomas Fuller, Trip Gabriel, Michael Gold, Rebecca Griesbach, Amy Harmon, Ethan Hauser, Ann Hinga Klein, Jennifer Jett, Niki Kitsantonis, Gina Kolata, Théophile Larcher, Jonathan Martin, Tiffany May, Giulia McDonnell Nieto del Rio, Constant Méheut, Steven Lee Myers, Norimitsu Onishi, Elian Peltier, Robin Pogrebin, Frances Robles, Eliza Shapiro, Michael D. Shear, Daniel E. Slotnik, Mark Walker, Timothy Williams and Karen Zraick.
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News Dave Barry's Year in Review 2019 - The Washington Post
News
It became an extremely eventful twelve months.
We're the use of “eventful” in the sense of “nefarious.”
It became a twelve months so eventful that at any time when one other asteroid whizzed past the Earth, barely warding off a collision that can occupy destroyed human civilization, we weren't 100 percent particular it became appropriate kind news.
We also can no longer serve up with the total eventfulness. Each day, we’d accumulate up to be taught that some novel stunning alleged thing had allegedly came about, and earlier than we had time to contemplate it, the political-media complex, consistently in Outrage Situation Crimson, would explode in righteous fury, with Facet A and Facet B hurling an increasing number of nefarious accusations at every other and devoting fat energy to pondering up systems to utterly DESTROY the opposite aspect on Twitter, a medium that has the magical energy to rework the entirety it touches, no topic how listless it's miles, into something even stupider.
Truth: This twelve months O.J. Simpson got a Twitter account, and the response of nearly about one million individuals became: “What? The eye-searching for psychopath who got away with murdering two harmless individuals wants followers? Count me in!”
Talking of attention-searching for psychopaths: The epicenter of the twelve months’s eventfulness became for sure Washington, D.C., an continuously erupting scandal volcano, belching out dense swirling smoke plumes of scoot, rumor, innuendo, misdirection and lies emitted by either side, A and B — or, in the occasion you buy, B and A — filling the air with vicious rhetoric, consistently delivered with the pious insistence that OUR aspect, no longer just like the OTHER aspect, is motivated no longer by ego, energy-lust, greed or hatred, but by a selfless want to Work for the American People.
Meanwhile, from out beyond the Capital Beltway, the loyal American individuals warily watched the perpetual tantrum that became supposed to be their executive. And an increasing number of their response, whatever aspect they thought to be themselves to be on, became: Nah.
Which is comparatively indispensable how we indubitably feel about 2019 on the total. And no longer appropriate kind thanks to politics. There became a persevered total decline of human intelligence, as epitomized by the recognition of an increasing number of account for “gender point out” occasions. Within the muse these alive to merely cutting commence a cake that had been dyed with meals coloring, but they occupy got escalated to the level where this twelve months they resulted in — we're no longer making this up — a fatal explosion and a plane wreck. It's a ways most interesting a topic of time earlier than a predominant metropolis is leveled by a red or blue mushroom cloud.
Will we convey anything appropriate kind about 2019? Used to be there any obvious news, a silver lining, a fair to indubitably feel hopeful about the future — to suppose that we, as American citizens, can acknowledge our authorized interests, overcome our differences and work together to construct an even bigger day after currently, for ourselves, for our younger individuals and for the field?
Nah.
Anyway, earlier than we shove 2019 down the rubbish disposal of history, let’s employ one notion help and remind ourselves why we want to neglect this put together wreck of a twelve months, starting with …
News JANUARY
… which begins with the federal executive every other time in the throes (whatever a “throe” is) of a partial shutdown, which threatens to seriously disrupt the lives of all American citizens who receive paychecks from the federal executive. At arena is the scenario on the Mexican border, which both is or is no longer a Disaster searching on which cable news community you buy. President Trump wants a excessive concrete wall, but for the time being there would possibly maybe be barely ample cash for a sternly worded south-facing billboard.
Ultimately the president and Congress reach a transient budget agreement that is no longer going to tackle the border scenario but will enable them to renew spending insane amounts of cash that the nation does no longer occupy except such time as they're ready to prevail in a permanent budget agreement enabling them to continue spending insane amounts of cash that the nation does no longer occupy, this being the critical characteristic of our federal leadership.
Meanwhile in the Robert Mueller investigation, which feels admire it began right thru the French and Indian Warfare, a nice jury indicts longtime Trump confidante and bonafide lunatic Roger Stone on a form of costs, at the side of that he threatened to kidnap one other seek for’s therapy canines, Bianca (indubitably). This news elates the brave guerrilla opponents of the Resistance, who since 2016 occupy been evading the fascist authorities by hiding out underground, consistently on the switch from CNN panel to CNN panel. The Resisters peep the Stone indictment as a determined charge that Mueller is getting prepared to initiate his indispensable-anticipated document, which will yelp, at remaining, that Trump colluded with the Russians and then, at remaining, this is also IMPEACHMENT TIME, BABY.
Within the Robert Mueller investigation, a nice jury indicts longtime Trump confidante and bonafide lunatic Roger Stone on a form of costs, at the side of that he threatened to kidnap one other seek for’s therapy canines, Bianca (indubitably).
In one other country, Britain is in turmoil over “Brexit,” which is a necessary thing we must always all endeavor to discover about.
In sports, the Los Angeles Rams employ the Nationwide Soccer Convention championship sport after the referees, on a severe play, fail to seek for when a Rams defensive help assaults a Fresh Orleans Saints receiver with a chain saw. Responding to the ensuing outrage, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell says he'll “behavior a thorough overview of league coverage referring to energy tools,” at the side of that “Fresh England is scheduled to employ the Big Bowl anyway.”
In other sports news, the Clemson soccer group defeats Alabama to employ the college nationwide championship and is rewarded with an invitation to the White Home for a polished shindig. “I served them large amounts of Immediate Meals (I paid), over 1000 hamberders,” tweets the president, who by his possess admission has a genius-degree IQ.
Talking of intelligence: The burning quiz whether or no longer the nation is in a position to manufacturing a social media craze even stupider than remaining twelve months’s Tide Pod Subject — wherein YouTube dimwits sought to galvanize other YouTube dimwits by ingesting compressed laundry detergent — is answered in the affirmative (“sure”) when Netflix is forced to arena a cautionary tweet to those which shall be inspired by the film “Birdbox” to employ the Birdbox Subject, wherein YouTube dimwits make a choice in everyday activities — at the side of riding — whereas blindfolded. Meanwhile, as a polar vortex grips the nation, other YouTube dimwits are injuring themselves attempting to yelp that it's miles chilly outside by flinging pots of boiling water into the air.
From somewhere beyond our solar machine antagonistic aliens are monitoring all this and concluding that they need no longer waste energy exterminating humanity, as we’re doing delicate on our possess.
Talking of antagonistic, in …
News FEBRUARY
… President Trump, no topic littered with bone spurs, goes to Vietnam for a 2d summit with North Korea’s Kim Jong Un. After a one-on-one closed-room assembly, the 2 leaders agree thru hand gestures that subsequent time they must always positively bring interpreters.
In domestic politics, Virginia is rocked by a series of scandals inspiring elected Democratic convey officers, originating with the e-newsletter of a 1984 photo from Gov. Ralph Northam’s clinical-college yearbook showing a person in blackface. Northam before the entirety says he's “deeply sorry” for performing in the photo; the subsequent day, alternatively, he calls a news conference to expose that he does no longer suppose he's in the photo, though he does buy one time that he became in blackface, that being when he entered a dance contest dressed as Michael Jackson and did the moonwalk. Northam further asserts that he obtained the contest, and on the request of a reporter looks to be on the verge of demonstrating to the press corps that he can light moonwalk, most interesting to be stopped by his wife. We're no longer making any of this up.
As stress builds on Northam to resign, Virginia Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax prepares to prevail him, most interesting to alter into embroiled in a scandal of his possess when he's accused of sexual assault. The third person in line is Attorney Standard Designate Herring, who, several days after calling on Northam to resign for carrying blackface, points a assertion admitting that as a college student he wore blackface when he went to a social gathering as rapper Kurtis Blow. We're light no longer making this up.
At this level Virginia’s political leaders set that if they serve spirited down the chain of succession they’re going to indirectly cease up with a Labrador retriever as governor or, worse, a Republican. And appropriate kind admire that the Big Virginia Scandals Scandal of 2019 goes “poof.”
Winter storms blast the Midwest, inflicting havoc in Iowa as snowdrifts discontinuance predominant highways and strand a total bunch of Democratic presidential contenders in rural communities with diminutive offers of voters. In one harrowing incident, a farmer and his family are trapped interior their dwelling for six hours whereas Cory Booker pounds on the entrance door, demanding to be let in so he can interpret his map to decrease profits inequality. “We tried to flee by the help door,” the farmer later tells reporters, “but Amy Klobuchar became ready available with a seven-level program to rebuild The US’s infrastructure.”
In enterprise news, Amazon (whose CEO, Jeff Bezos, owns The Washington Put up) cancels plans to construct an large company campus in Fresh York City, citing native political opposition and the truth that Amazon’s vice president for enterprise pattern, right thru a race to to the attach apart of abode in Queens, became carried off by what a company spokesperson described as “a rat the scale of a Volkswagen Jetta.”
In one other country, “Brexit” is restful a necessary thing with many necessary tendencies.
In sports, the Fresh England Patriots, led by 63-twelve months-frail Tom Brady, defeat the Los Angeles Rams, 13-3, in a Big Bowl featuring one landing and 14 punts. All the arrangement thru the nationwide anthem, TV cameras clearly buy Patriots coach Invoice Belichick pouring liquid from a bottle labeled “SEDATIVES” into the Rams’ Gatorade, however the NFL referee crew fails to seek for. Requested about this after the sport, Commissioner Roger Goodell says, “To be appropriate kind, I became staring at Netflix.”
Several weeks after the Big Bowl, Patriots owner Robert Kraft is charged in reference to a police sting operation in Florida on the Orchids of Asia Day Spa (motto: “Where Your ‘Day’ Lasts About 90 Seconds”). Kraft will indirectly preserve away from detention middle time after his lawyers convince a suppose that he's in the motorway of succession for the governorship of Virginia.
At the 91st Academy Awards, the Oscar for easiest image is awarded to “Goodfellas,” which came out in 1990 but never will must always occupy lost to “Dances With Wolves.”
Talking of being late, in …
News MARCH
… Robert Mueller indirectly delivers his document to Attorney Standard William Barr, who guarantees to initiate it to the public “as rapidly as we occupy blacked out the sex ingredients.” The cable news networks put together for the initiate by bringing in panels of notorious felony authorities to expose that the document ability exactly the opposite of whatever the notorious felony panels on the enemy networks are declaring it ability.
In other political tendencies, President Trump, confronted with mounting hostility from congressional Democrats, spends several days vigorously attacking ... John McCain. For the document, McCain (A) became a Republican and (B) died in 2018. No person can convey for particular whether or no longer the president (A) is playing some form of four-dimensional political chess or (B) has the reasoning skills of a Chihuahua on meth.
The Iowa convey legislature considers a invoice that can presumably per chance per chance fund building of a border wall across the convey to stay the influx of Democratic presidential hopefuls, now estimated at several dozen a day. “It’s a humanitarian crisis,” says one legislator, his convey rising in terror. “They’re swarming right thru the convey, barging into pancake breakfasts. Many of them die interior days from pancake bloat, but THEY JUST KEEP COMING.”
In one other country, “Brexit” is restful a topic of grave predicament, and for appropriate kind fair.
The elevated education neighborhood is rocked by scandal when federal prosecutors payment 50 individuals, at the side of check directors, properly off individuals and college coaches, in reference to a celebrated bribery and fraud plot to accumulate college students admitted to a pair of the nation’s most prestigious universities. In one in particular egregious case, Yale admitted Trevor Buncombe-Plotzner IV, who supposedly became recruited to play varsity badminton, no topic the information that (A) Yale does no longer occupy a varsity badminton group and (B) Trevor is a cat.
In an legit assertion, the Association of College Admissions Officers says: “Bribing coaches to accumulate unqualified candidates admitted is entirely unacceptable. The felony manner is to present a large quantity of cash on to the college.”
In a controversial felony pattern, actor Jussie Smollett, who became indicted by a nice jury for allegedly faking a hate crime against himself, has all costs dropped by Chicago prosecutors following a overview of the proof by an NFL officiating crew.
Talking of felony matters, in …
News APRIL
… Attorney Standard Barr indirectly releases the Mueller document, which accomplishes two things:
⋅ It indirectly settles, to all individuals’s satisfaction, all the controversies surrounding the 2016 presidential election.
⋅ It proves that oysters talk German and would possibly maybe presumably per chance per chance play the trombone.
Preferrred kidding! With out a doubt the Mueller document does neither of these items, though it comes nearer to the 2d accomplishment than the first. The legitimate-Trump individuals convey the document proves there became no collusion; the anti-Trump individuals convey it proves Trump obstructed justice, which ability that it's miles, at remaining, IMPEACHMENT TIME, BABY. Each sides emit thousands of impassioned tweets, which race unread by the American public, which long previously moved on to “Sport of Thrones.”
In other political news, Joe Biden launches his estimated 17th presidential campaign, with the slogan: “Let Uncle Joe Give You a Big Astronomical Hug.” Biden straight away turns into the chief of the crowded Democratic field in accordance with the truth that his name sounds vaguely acquainted.
As thousands and thousands of individuals across the field notion in shock and disbelief, the enduring Notre Dame cathedral in Paris is ravaged by flames after being struck, in what looks to be a deliberate act of provocation, by a North Korean missile.
In assorted areas out of the country, “Brexit” is restful a vitally critical thing.
In science news, some astronomers at a social gathering, after several rounds of tequila photos, employ a blurry snapshot of a flaming gasoline-range burner and initiate it to the news media, claiming that it’s the first-ever photo of a dim gap. The photo straight away turns into worldwide news, indispensable to the pleasure of the astro-pranksters, who initiate work on a map to circulate off a dental X-ray as the Loch Ness Monster.
In golf, Tiger Woods wins his fifth Masters occasion, catching and passing chief Francesco Molinari after two of Molinari’s photos — on the 12th gap and on the opposite hand on the 15th — hit NFL referee crews which occupy strayed onto the fairway.
In leisure news, “Avengers: Endgame” breaks field arena of job data, proving that now, bigger than ever, individuals crave experiences about time-traveling superheroes the use of magic stones to defeat a genocidal intergalactic warlord and not utilizing a neck.
Talking of long-operating dramas, in …
News MAY
… Robert Mueller resigns as particular counsel, announcing that he plans to reach help to personal lifestyles and “whimper in the fetal arena.” In his remaining assertion, he clears up any lingering confusion about his investigation by noting that the Justice Department can no longer payment the president with a federal crime, at the side of, “no longer that I'm, or am no longer, announcing, or no longer announcing, that the president did, or didn't, produce anything that became, or became no longer, illegal. Or, no longer.”
Congressional Democrats, firm of their belief that the American public wants nothing bigger than to continue refighting the 2016 election except the Earth crashes into the sun, employ Mueller’s assertion as a name for IMPEACHMENT TIME, BABY.
For his phase, Trump emits a tweet declaring, quote: “Russia, Russia, Russia! That’s all you heard before the entirety of this Witch Hunt Hoax…And now Russia has disappeared because I had nothing to produce with Russia serving to me to accumulate elected.” This wording looks to indicate that the president thinks Russia helped him to accumulate elected, so comparatively of whereas later he clarifies his arena by telling reporters, “No, Russia didn't aid me accumulate elected.” And thus the topic is indirectly laid to relaxation.
In sports, the Kentucky Derby is obtained by Country Home after the obvious winner, Maximum Security, is disqualified for trampling an NFL officiating crew on the backstretch.
To this point as we're acutely aware, none of this has anything to produce with “Brexit.”
On the domestic political entrance, disgraced frail Fresh York Congresscreep Anthony Weiner is launched from a midway apartment and, in a gentle showcase of remorse, proclaims that he's operating for president.
Preferrred kidding! With out a doubt Weiner is one in all the estimated four Democrats no longer operating for president. Among those getting into the run is Fresh York Mayor Invoice de Blasio, who, having solved all of his metropolis’s issues, proclaims that he's operating below the campaign slogan “This Slogan Is Within the intervening time Out of Exclaim.” De Blasio heads for Iowa, where he like a flash surges to 13,357th in the Des Moines Register/CNN poll, appropriate kind in the help of swine dysentery.
In sports, the Kentucky Derby is obtained by Country Home after the obvious winner, Maximum Security, is disqualified for trampling an NFL officiating crew on the backstretch.
Talking of violence, in …
News JUNE
… tensions in the Mideast, which occupy been escalating for over 3,000 years, escalate light further when Iran assaults two oil tankers in the Gulf of Oman, then shoots down a U.S. seek for drone. In retaliation, President Trump orders a militia strike against Iran, most interesting to name it off on the remaining minute when he's suggested that it will also cease in serious injury to a golf course.
In other presidential action, Trump travels to England, where, in his characteristic as chief of the united states on an legit race to to The US’s finest ally at a severe time, he assaults ... Bette Midler. In a tweet emitted at 1: 30 a.m. London time, the president describes Ms. Midler as a “Washed up psycho.” Fox Info confirms this.
Later in the month Trump turns into the first sitting U.S. president to arrangement foot in North Korea, where he and Kim Jong Un make a choice in denuclearization talks, capped off with a ceremonial Prisoner Shoot.
This looks admire a appropriate kind arena to level out “Brexit.”
Meanwhile as the 2020 U.S. presidential run heats up, several hundred Democratic presidential contenders bring together in Miami for the first predominant debates. The entrance-runner is Joe Biden, but he suffers a setback when Sen. Kamala Harris, in what's clearly a deliberate attack, aspects out that Biden is carrying his pants backward. Biden’s workers swiftly releases a assertion explaining that the frail vice president “thought it became Friday.” Furthermore getting a form of attention is Marianne Williamson, who qualifies for the debates in accordance with the volume of campaign donations she got from other dimensions.
For his phase, President Trump launches his 2020 reelection mutter with a rally in Orlando attended by 246 million individuals, as confirmed by Fox Info.
In leisure news, James Holzhauer’s document-breaking victory shuffle on “Jeopardy!” indirectly comes to an cease when, in the Excellent Jeopardy round, he's flagged for a face veil violation by an NFL officiating crew.
San Francisco, consistently on the forefront, turns into the first U.S. metropolis to ban exhaling, which in accordance with scientists is a number one clarification for carbon dioxide. Meanwhile the metropolis of Riviera Shoreline, Fla., will pay nearly about $600,000 in bitcoin to hackers who horrified the metropolis’s computer machine by attacking it with “ransomware,” which is invent of admire a Home windows update moreover for that on the least there’s somebody who's aware of fix it.
Talking of Web menaces, in …
News JULY
… President Trump, having dealt with the existential threat to the nation that is Bette Midler, turns his attention to four Democratic first-term contributors of Congress identified as “The Squad,” tweeting that if they hate The US so indispensable they must always “race help” to where they reach from. Critics yelp that three of the four had been born in the loyal same nation as Trump, no longer to level out the truth that the “race help” thing is an frail racist taunt, leaving the president and not utilizing a decent course of action but to arena an apology. So for sure that is no longer what he does. What he does is tweet further criticisms of The Squad, along with the assertion that “I don’t occupy a Racist bone in my physique!” (The exclamation set proves it’s correct!)
The president also finds time in his busy July agenda to arena tweets attacking — amongst other targets — Baltimore, the Federal Reserve, the mayor of San Juan, CNN, the mayor of London, Paul Ryan, Fox Info (!) and Sweden, but if we’re going to enter component on each one in all the president’s Twitter beefs we obtained't ever accumulate thru this twelve months. Suffice it to allege that the Resistance is so frantically busy refuting Trump tweets — this being the recount that consumes 99.9 percent of the Resistance’s time and mental energy — that toward the cease of the month prominent Democrats bring together themselves reflexively defending the integrity and impartial righteousness of Al Sharpton.
In other political news, an exhausted-taking a peek Robert Mueller makes his 237th appearance earlier than the Home Kabuki Theater Committee, and your total nation tunes in, moreover for for those ingredients of the nation positioned outside of Washington, D.C. Mueller says diminutive that is novel, on the total limiting his answers to “sure,” “no” and, when an aide pokes him unsleeping, “ouch.” Under questioning, Mueller looks surprisingly irregular with his possess group’s document, at one level declaring, in accordance with a request, that he had never heard of any “Vladimir Putin.”
Trump announces that the hearing proves the total investigation became a WITCH HUNT! Congressional Democrats convey it proves that it's miles IMPEACHMENT TIME, BABY. Bears continue to poop in the woods.
Within the 2d round of Democratic debates, entrance-runner Joe Biden is light the center of attention of the opposite candidates, but he does an even bigger job of defending himself, turning in numerous properly-crafted retorts written in Sharpie on his forearms.
In federal action, White Home and congressional negotiators arrangement apart their mutual loathing long ample to agree on a bipartisan budget deal that can enable the manager to continue spending insane amounts of cash that it does no longer occupy. Thus the pesky scenario of uncontrolled federal spending is disposed of except after the 2020 election, freeing our leaders to middle of attention on more pressing points, and for sure tweet about them.
In one other country, a person named “Boris,” who it looks that kinds his hair with a commercial leaf blower, turns into high minister of England, a pattern that very seemingly also can occupy something to produce with “Brexit.”
On the escalating Center East stress entrance, the united states says it shot down an Iranian drone in the Strait of Hormuz. In response, Iran’s ambassador to the United Nations claims he'll fabricate documentation proving that “Strait of Hormuz” will be rearranged to spell “Him Fart Zoo Rust.”
In sports, the improbable U.S. females’s nationwide soccer group, following years of laborious work and sacrifice, wins its fourth World Cup and a first prize of $4 million, or about $200,000 per player. Later in the month, a 16-twelve months-frail excessive college student named Kyle Giersdorf wins a Fortnite video-sport occasion. His prize — indubitably — is $3 million. “I’m so delighted,” says Kyle. “The total lot I’ve carried out in the grind has all paid off and it’s appropriate kind insane.”
It's a ways, Kyle. It indubitably is.
The news turns grim in …
News AUGUST
… when the nation is shocked by two horrific mass shootings, which spur a Severe Nationwide Conversation about gun violence, wherein steady and dedicated contributors on either side — at long remaining — overtly and honestly search advice from individuals on their very possess aspect about how listless and deplorable all individuals on the opposite aspect is. This goes on for several days, after which the shootings race along with the circulate out of the news except it’s time for the subsequent Severe Nationwide Conversation.
Conspiracy theories swirl in the wake of the dying of millionaire pedophile Jeffrey Epstein, who allegedly dedicated suicide in a Fresh York City federal jail cell no topic supposedly being below the discontinuance supervision of an NFL officiating crew.
In monetary news, the Dow Jones industrial average flits up and down admire a butterfly on meth as patrons strive to make a decision out what President Trump’s mood is at any given minute referring to the replace battle with China, which is resulted in by China unfairly forcing U.S. shoppers to preserve low-payment Chinese language-made electronics rather than frail American brands similar to Philco. The president’s critical approach in fighting this battle is to impose tariffs on Chinese language imports, which ability U.S. shoppers must pay more for them. Steal THAT, China!
Any other bee buzzing round in the presidential bonnet right thru August is Greenland, which Trump decides the united states must always strive to preserve, since it has a strategic space and is doubtlessly the source of bigger than 70 percent of the field’s provide of frostbite. It looks, alternatively, that Greenland belongs to Denmark, which for some fair wants to preserve it. “We’re no longer for sale,” states Greenland’s minister of education, culture, church and international affairs, whose name — we're no longer making this up — is Ane Lone Bagger.
It's a ways no longer straight away particular where Ane Lone Bagger stands on “Brexit.”
Meanwhile the American Midwest faces an unheard of humanitarian crisis as Nebraska, Wisconsin and Minnesota fight to absorb waves of Iowans fleeing the worsening effort of their dwelling convey, which is overrun with Democratic presidential contenders demonstrating their likability by ingesting fried things on sticks. Joe Biden stays the entrance-runner in Iowa no topic the truth that, to suppose from his remarks at campaign occasions, he believes he's in Belgium.
In other August news, Popeyes introduces a chicken sandwich to compete with Chick-fil-A’s chicken sandwich. Furthermore there are large pro-democracy protests in Hong Kong and the Amazon rainforest is burning, however the Fight of the Hen Sandwiches positively generates more pleasure.
Talking of enjoyment …
News SEPTEMBER
… begins with President Trump facing a predominant crisis inspiring the a truly indispensable arena of whether or no longer Alabama became, or became no longer, ever indubitably threatened by Hurricane Dorian. The crisis erupts on Sept. 1, when, with Dorian spirited toward the U.S. mainland, the president tweets that Alabama is amongst the states that can “in all likelihood be hit (indispensable) more tough than anticipated.” Minutes later the Nationwide Climate Provider in Birmingham responds with a assertion that “Alabama will NOT peep any impacts from #Dorian.”
At this level the president acknowledges that he made a minor mistake, thus laying the arena to relaxation and freeing all individuals to middle of attention on more critical matters.
Ha-ha! That would possibly maybe presumably per chance per chance never happen. Donald Trump didn't accumulate where he's by allowing himself to be corrected about the climate by any so-known as “Nationwide Climate Provider.” The president mounts an intensive, multi-day, multi-tweet offensive on the Alabama arena, highlighted by an Oval Popularity of job assembly with reporters right thru which he displays a week-frail Nationwide Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration intention proving conclusively that Alabama became primarily threatened by a dim line that became obviously added to the intention by an inept amateur with a Sharpie.
The crisis continues for several more days, with the president refusing to help down or drop the arena, very indispensable the style Winston Churchill, in the darkest hours of World Warfare II, stood firm when England, on my own, confronted the menacing forces of the Nationwide Climate Provider.
Invoice de Blasio drops out of the Democratic presidential run, bitterly disappointing the residents of Fresh York as soon as they be taught that Invoice plans to renew mayoring them.
Talking of dire threats: CNN’s particular seven-hour “town hall” broadcast on the global climate crisis attracts a nationwide viewers estimated at nearly about 30 viewers, counting family pets. Ten Democratic presidential candidates expose their plans for saving the planet, which embody strictly regulating or banning fossil fuels, nuclear energy, red meat, plastic straws, fracking, white meat, autos, lightbulbs, barbecues, capitalism, farting, grayish meat, infants and airplane flights which shall be no longer transporting Democratic presidential candidates. The highlight of the night time comes when Joe Biden develops a abnormal red eyeball as a results of being hit by a tranquilizer crawl fired by his workers to forestall him from hugging a CNN moderator. This debate is adopted by one other debate later in the month. Or even it became the identical debate, and all of us fell asleep for a whereas in the middle. There will not be this type of thing as a manner to yelp.
Invoice de Blasio drops out of the Democratic presidential run, bitterly disappointing the residents of Fresh York as soon as they be taught that Invoice plans to renew mayoring them.
In global news (we're counting Canada as a international country) Canadian Premier Justin Trudeau is embarrassed by the e-newsletter of yet one other photo — this is the third time — of him carrying blackface. The very most interesting kind news for Justin is that this strikes him up to fourth in the motorway of succession for the governorship of Virginia.
Meanwhile in Big Britain, “Brexit” continues to trigger all individuals over there to be comparatively agitated, for British individuals.
As September draws to a discontinuance, President Trump finds himself facing what also can notify to be his very most interesting single crisis of your total month when a whistleblower accuses him of improperly pressuring Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky in a July phone name to investigate Joe Biden and Joe’s son Hunter’s connections with a Ukrainian energy company, which at one level became paying Hunter $50,000 a month, it looks that for his expertise in the field of receiving large sums of cash.
In a shock switch, Trump orders the initiate of a tough transcript of the name, which proves conclusively whatever you wish it to yelp searching on whether or no longer you are on Facet A or Facet B. Congressional Democrats present that it's miles a Smoking Gun, which ability that, at remaining, it's miles IMPEACHMENT TIME, BABY, AND THIS TIME WE REALLY MEAN IT. Trump announces that this is acceptable kind one other WITCH HUNT and emits an unusually excessive volume of tweets wherein he sounds an increasing number of admire a derelict arguing with himself in an alley subsequent to a comfort store, but no longer as coherent.
Whereas all this is taking place the U.S. budget deficit approaches $1 trillion, but all individuals in Washington is manner too pondering the Impeachment Drama to even contemplate it.
The pleasure continues in …
News OCTOBER
... when Washington whips itself right into a frenzy the likes of which it experiences most interesting as soon as every two or three weeks as a consensus begins to produce amongst the brave Resisters of the Resistance that it indubitably is DEFINITELY ALMOST NEARLY IMPEACHMENT TIME AND WE ARE REALLY NOT FOOLING AROUND ANYMORE. The Democrats, led by Rep. Adam Schiff, a one who — this is merely an commentary, no longer a criticism — would no longer notion out of arena taking drugs from a prairie-canines gap, accuse Trump of breaking the law in the Ukraine phone name, whereas Trump defenders convey that technically there became no quid pro quo, in the identical sense that, in “The Godfather,” the severed horse’s head in the film producer’s bed became technically no longer a threat.
The president’s protection approach is to tweet several times per hour, infrequently with most of the words accurately spelled, that the name became PERFECT and all individuals must always READ THE TRANSCRIPT! It sounds as if he's unaware that all individuals already did. Along the style the president reaches a ancient milestone, sending out his 11,000th tweet as president, eclipsing the document held by Grover Cleveland.
For the Democrats, there would possibly maybe be acceptable kind news and nefarious news. The very most interesting kind news is that Trump’s poll numbers are down. The nefarious news is that the Democrats are ... the Democrats. Their entrance-runner, Joe Biden, continues to fight on the campaign path, as exemplified by an appearance at a 7-Eleven store in Waterloo, Iowa, right thru which he addresses the Slurpee machine as “your excellency.”
Poised to eclipse Biden is Elizabeth Warren (campaign slogan: “She Is MUCH Smarter Than You”) along with her Medicare-for-all map, which she says will payment $20.5 trillion, with the “.5” proving that she has this thing figured out appropriate down to the penny. Warren says her map is no longer going to elevate taxes on the middle class for the reason that total cash will reach from greedy firms, greedy billionaires, greedy gold-pooping unicorns and assorted payment efficiencies, which for sure is what the federal executive is notorious for.
In international affairs, Trump surprises all individuals, presumably at the side of himself, by pulling U.S. troops out of Syria, thus throwing the gap into a ways more turmoil than traditional, which is a form of turmoil. All the arrangement thru the confusion, U.S. forces behavior a brave raid that results in the dying of Islamic Notify chief Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, thus eliminating him from the motorway of succession for the governorship of Virginia. And for sure no discussion of international affairs would possibly maybe presumably per chance per chance be total without some level out of “Brexit.”
Meanwhile California, plagued by out-of-control wildfires, celebrated energy blackouts, spiraling housing costs, decaying infrastructure and a worsening homelessness epidemic, turns into the first convey to produce a law banning the sale of fur products.
In sports, Simone Biles turns into the first gymnast to originate a floor routine that requires clearance from the Federal Aviation Administration. In one other “indubitably feel appropriate kind” sports memoir, the Fresh York Yankees, with by a ways the best payroll in baseball, total a total decade without even stepping into the World Sequence. Meanwhile predicament mounts over the convey of NFL officiating after a Lions-Packers sport wherein, late in the fourth quarter, the groups play two consecutive downs and not utilizing a single penalty being known as. “It obtained’t happen again,” vows Commissioner Goodell.
Talking of mounting predicament, in …
News NOVEMBER
… it's miles indirectly IMPEACHMENT TIME FOR REAL, ALMOST, as the Home Committee on Never-ending Squabbling holds a conventional congressional hearingpalooza featuring Bombshell Testimony, Gaveling, Features of Exclaim, Yielding of Time, False Civility, With out a doubt Long Questions That Are Not Of course Questions and the total other ingredients that can presumably per chance per chance fabricate for riveting drama if all individuals on the earth didn’t already know the final outcome, particularly that the Democrats would produce that the president dedicated impeachable offenses, and the Republicans would produce that he didn’t. When it’s right thru, the public stays divided exactly as it became between the those that despise Trump and the those that despise the those that despise Trump. Meanwhile bears continue to etc.
There would possibly maybe be one obvious impeachment-linked pattern, which occurs when Rep. Eric Swalwell, performing on MSNBC, makes the next assertion: “To this level the proof is uncontradicted that the president outdated taxpayer greenbacks to help him cheat [GIANT FART SOUND] an election.” This results in numerous days of appealing debate on Twitter touching on the arena of whether or no longer Swalwell reduce the cheese (he denies it) with individuals of all political persuasions weighing in on #fartgate in the closest thing we occupy needed to a primarily commence-minded nationwide conversation in years.
Conan, a Belgian Malinois who became injured in the Delta Power raid that resulted in the dying of Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, is invited to the White Home, where President Trump, in recognition of the brave canines’s provider to the nation, appoints him secretary of the Navy.
In other political news, Mike Bloomberg joins the Democratic presidential field, declaring that “what The US wants, now bigger than ever, is a properly off, growing outdated, white male Fresh Yorker with an large ego.”
On the financial entrance, Popeyes resumes manufacturing of chicken sandwiches, and shoppers resume assaulting one one other over them, because if a $3.99 wad of carefully breaded chicken on a bun is no longer charge getting injured or even killed over, then what's?
Tesla CEO Elon Musk introduces an all-electrical “Cybertruck” featuring subtle technology and a putting resemblance to a doorstop. Essentially the most interesting characteristic, Musk notes, is that “must you’re sitting interior it, that it's seemingly you'll’t peep it.”
In one other country, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is indicted on costs at the side of bribery and fraud; if convicted, he would switch up to sixth in the motorway of succession for governorship of Virginia.
Furthermore light taking place out of the country, to primarily the most interesting of our recordsdata, is “Brexit.”
The month draws to a discontinuance with the Thanksgiving vacation, a time when households bring together to argue about politics, in accordance with priceless guides written on this topic every twelve months by individuals from other planets, as against Earth, where households bring together to argue about circulate interference and burp. At the White Home, Trump, carrying on a lighthearted vacation tradition, “pardons” two turkeys, named Bread and Butter. Interior seconds they're eaten by Secretary of the Navy Conan.
The capital carnage intensifies in ...
News DECEMBER
... when Home Democrats suppose that IT REALLY, REALLY IS IMPEACHMENT TIME SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE, THIS IS NOT A DRILL. This sets the stage for a ancient trial in the Senate, after which (spoiler alert!) the Democrats will vote to convict and the Republicans will vote to acquit and we shall be help to precisely where we began and not utilizing a minds modified and Aspects A and B hating every other bigger than ever.
So it's miles a truly animated time in Washington, though to the relaxation of the nation, which is stepping into vacation mode, the heated rhetoric emanating from the capital is an unwelcome annoyance, admire the shouting of the couple in the subsequent-door apartment who never appear to stay arguing (“WHAT ABOUT THE JULY 25TH PHONE CALL?” “OH YEAH? WHAT ABOUT HUNTER BIDEN?” “OH YEAH? WHAT ABOUT ...”). Each morning the nation wakes up, hears the mad noise coming thru the partitions, then plugs a pair of Apple AirPods into its nationwide ears and cranks up Johnny Mathis singing “Winter Wonderland.”
In other political news, Joe Biden, searching for to add some “zing” to his presidential campaign, tours Iowa in a bus carrying, in large letters, his novel slogan: “No Malarkey!” (“Malarkey” is an extinct Gaelic be aware which ability “clue.”) This slogan became chosen after being examined on a highlight neighborhood of voters, half of of whom had been senior residents and the opposite half of of whom had been ineffective. The runner-up slogans had been “You’re Darned Tooting He Can Lower the Mustard!” and “Stop Off His Garden!”
Kamala Harris drops out of the run, reducing the volume of leading Democratic contenders to 58, an estimated one-third of whom are billionaires. Meanwhile Hillary Clinton continues to price that she also can impartial whisk again on the urging of many highly respected voices that most interesting she can hear. In Iowa voter polling, the entrance-runner stays Pete “Pete” Buttigieg, adopted carefully by a surging Tiny one Yoda.
In international affairs, President Trump attends a gathering of NATO leaders in London, where, the use of his strange diplomatic skills, he's prepared to unite The US’s a truly indispensable European allies in the realization that he's a buffoon.
And let’s no longer neglect about “Brexit.”
In leisure news, thousands and thousands of Netflix customers are staring at Martin Scorsese’s film “The Irishman,” a sweeping narrative that begins in the 1950s and ends at some level after you descend asleep on the couch, for the reason that operating time is longer than veterinary college. No person, at the side of Scorsese, has ever indubitably made it to the cease of “The Irishman,” which takes arena in the a ways-off future and is rumored to characteristic an intergalactic battle between alien arrangement Teamsters.
In other TV-linked news, persons are outraged about a Peloton ad, because on this day and age individuals need things to be outraged about.
Ultimately, mercifully, this highly eventful twelve months draws to a discontinuance. As Fresh Year’s Eve approaches, the nation pauses to notion help on 2019 and throw up comparatively of bit in its nationwide mouth. But then the nation looks to be like forward to 2020, and it feels faint stirrings of hope in its nationwide coronary heart. Because The US has been bitterly divided earlier than. There became the Civil Warfare, as an illustration, and that time we also can no longer agree on the color of that dress on the Web. If we got thru those troubles, we can accumulate thru the contemporary ones. Because in the cease, no topic our political differences, we’re all American citizens, and we care about every other and wish primarily the most interesting which that it's seemingly you'll contemplate future for all individuals. Factual?
Nah.
But delighted novel twelve months anyway.
Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-a hit humor columnist and author. To comment on this memoir, email [email protected] or race to wapo.st/magazine.
Illustrations by Alexander Wells. Originate by Michael Johnson.
Credit ranking: Dave Barry
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Rhode Island: Gov. Raimondo’s Proposed Marijuana Legalization Budget Plan
On January 17, 2019, Gov. Gina Raimondo unveiled a budget proposal for 2020 that would legalize recreational marijuana in Rhode Island “with reluctance,” as she told The Providence Journal. “We’re not an island, in fact. Like it or not, we’re going to be incurring public safety and public health expenses because it’s legal in Massachusetts… And I think it is time for us to put together our own regulatory and taxing framework,” she said.
It’s a defensive move: If surrounding states — not even far enough away for a Rhode Island driver to pack a lunch — rake in Rhode Island money, the governor foresees welcoming home trouble with nothing to show for it. So the Adult Use of Marijuana Act aims to increase sales, licensing and tax revenues without actually accepting this plant that’s been used to foster pleasure, inspiration and insight for thousands of years.
Some of the bill’s proposed rules may send some Rhode Islanders to Attleboro and Fall River anyway, for higher potency products. Other parts of the proposal will no longer permit growing marijuana plants by and for medical marijuana patients who can’t or won’t demonstrate hardship, instead driving them toward retail sales at compassion centers. NORML RI thinks sick people, some often unable to work consistently, are hardly an appropriate market to tap for state revenue.
The National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (established in 1970) welcomes and celebrates that by 2020 marijuana will finally be legal in Rhode Island for all adults. The Rhode Island chapter would like to highlight some portions of the proposal that we feel could sensibly be modified in the upcoming hearings in order to produce a better bill. We hope to influence its amendments and final outcome, and look forward to refinements in future years based on the state’s experience with legalization going forward.
Only near-beer?
Rhode Island proposes to be the first state in the U.S. to limit the potency of marijuana products sold for adult use. The governor recommends creating the Office of Cannabis Regulation (OCR) within The Department of Business Regulation which will have the authority to set those limits.
The bill would limit the potency of any product to 50% THC. In response to a query about vaping, Norman Birenbaum of the DBR wrote, “The proposal does allow for DBR to approve a concentrate which is above 50% THC to allow for pre-filled vape cartridges or vape pens which are capable of delivering vapor in a consistent manner.” Many users prefer vaporized oils or tinctures to smoking, and with education on options and dosage they can make appropriate choices. Massachusetts has no limit on marijuana-product potency.
The proposal would limit the potency of any product to 50% THC. (This is rather like the state permitting the sale of beer but not bourbon.) In response to a query about vaping, Norman Birenbaum of the DBR emailed, “The proposal does allow for DBR to approve a concentrate which is above 50% THC to allow for pre-filled vape cartridges or vape pens which are capable of delivering vapor in a consistent manner.” Adults can make proper choices when educated on usage and dosage, and some high-potency products (“shatter,” tinctures, etc.) are preferred for their clean delivery methods. Massachusetts has no limit on marijuana-product potency.
The proposal would limit THC content for adults to potencies that might not affect a child who encountered and consumed it: Sales of edibles such as gummies, brownies and cookies infused with THC would be restricted to 5-milligram portions. An adult might have to consume a lot of baked goods to realize an effect. (Workaround: A chocolate bar that comprises 20 five-mg. squares would conform to the 100-mg.-per-package limit.)
Inadvertently, the state may be forcing Rhode Islanders to smoke marijuana and eat lots of infused sweets by prohibiting more efficient and perhaps healthier ways to ingest effective amounts of THC.
NORML RI agrees with the prohibition on marijuana products in the shape of “an animal, human, vehicle, or other shape or form which may be attractive to children” and the requirements that all marijuana products be tested through state-licensed labs, and edibles infused with cannabis should be subject to current food-safety regulations.
NORML RI believes high-potency concentrates, edibles and oils should be available to those who choose it. We hope that a variety of ways to consume responsibly become legal beyond traditionally lighting up and smoking dried marijuana leaves.
Thou shalt not grow.
Under the current R.I. medical marijuana law, patients and caregivers may cultivate 12 mature plants and 12 seedlings. The state’s new proposal would eliminate home growing altogether, except to those patients who apply for an as-yet-undefined hardship, and require them to appoint a caregiver who would only cultivate marijuana for that one patient’s use “unless additional patients are family members or demonstrate need for a caretaker, up to five patients.” Cooperatives and gifting would be banned in the medical marijuana program.
NORML RI does not believe legalization should come at the cost of patients’ rights. The budget’s stated goal that these restrictions will “increase retail sales” blurs the necessary distinction between medicinal and recreational marijuana applications and regulation. Boosting retail sales must not trump making medicine available at reasonable cost to patients.
The budget proposal would not permit recreational users to grow marijuana plants at all. NORML RI recommends permitting home gardeners, patients and caregivers to grow a reasonable number of plants for personal use. Alaska, California, Colorado, a newly proposed law in Connecticut, the District of Columbia, Maine, Massachusetts and Vermont permit adults over 21 to grow between 4 and 12 plants — commonly 6 — for recreational use.
Big sin taxes?
The governor’s proposal would create a “weight-based excise tax on marijuana cultivation,” an additional retail excise tax of 10%, and also applies sales tax to marijuana transactions (totaling an approximate overall tax rate of 20%).
NORML RI believes the state should be wary of over-taxing the market before it gets off the ground. As the markets settle in nearby states and competition takes hold, Rhode Island may find its top-heavy taxes price the state out of more competitive nearby markets.
Heavily taxed… rope.
The Governor proposes an 80% wholesale tax on non-psychoactive cannabidiol (CBD) products made from hemp — cannabis sativa which contains no more than 0.3% THC — and aims to license its dealers and distributors. NORML RI does not believe hemp, in any form, should be taxed like psychoactive marijuana products. Hemp is now a federally legal agricultural commodity; it has never in its 10,000 years of use gotten anyone high, and should be treated as such.
Traffic jams!
The Governor’s proposal would initially license six new retail-only “compassion centers.” NORML RI recommends licensing additional responsible marijuana retailers at the discretion of each municipality. (The proposal already gives municipalities control of where marijuana businesses can be located or to prohibit all marijuana business through referendum.)
Massachusetts had a bottleneck on required lab testing which slowed the launch of retailers. We hope Rhode Island smoothes that wrinkle. We also support rethinking that portion of the bill that limits purchases to an ounce a day per person — no stocking up, as with any other legal commodity — which may sometimes swell the lines unnecessarily.
Corporate weed
In June, 2018, the Rhode Island General Assembly approved a state budget that includes a proposal to increase the fee medical marijuana dispensaries pay annually for licenses from $5,000 to $250,000. The wording of the proposed bill suggests it will reduce these fees after its passage to $50,000 when compassion centers renew their licensing.
High fees, and the ability of any one provider to grow, manufacturer and distribute its marijuana (called vertical integration) enshrines what New York City mayor Bill De Blasio calls “the corporatization of marijuana” rather than its legalization (he would not give licensing preferences to existing medical marijuana businesses, as Rhode Island would, and would encourage both co-ops and home delivery.) NORML RI agrees with his statement that cities should “build their own local cannabis industry, led by small businesses and organized to benefit our whole diverse community.”
Mom and Pot stores?
The first adult-use retail stores are likely to be the existing compassion centers, which will have priority for licenses. After that, “Perhaps 30 or 40 other stores would gradually open as they meet state licensing stipulations,” The Providence Journal quotes unnamed regulators as saying.
The proposed bill states that “The new office of cannabis regulation shall determine an annual license and renewal fee for each type and/or class of marijuana establishment licensee,” so there is still time to consider fees that would be affordable by small businesses in the rollout of the new, legal retail marijuana industry in Rhode Island.
Other states, including Massachusetts, have social-equity programs that aim to include minorities in the fledgling industry, and we urge Rhode Island to consider similar initiatives.
NORML RI recommends: Fees that only wealthy corporations can afford should be drastically reduced or calculated on sales volumes, to ensure opportunities for small local businesses.
Record time
NORML RI is pleased that in July of 2018, RI House Bill 8355/S. 2447 was passed and signed by the governor; it allows those with past convictions for crimes involving the possession of less than one ounce of cannabis to petition the court to seek an order of expungement. Rhode Island decriminalized minor marijuana-possession offenses in 2013.
The House Finance Committee will soon hold public hearings on the 2020 budget bill (H 5151), one article at a time (Marijuana is Article 20). NORML RI will post the hearing date, when it is scheduled, on NORMLRI.com and on our Facebook page (Update: The first hearing has been scheduled for March 20, 2019). The final bill is likely to be amended by the committee before it’s sent to the full House for a vote, and debate will likely be fierce on both sides, so now is the time to speak up – show up at the March 20 hearing, and contact your state rep about amendments and changes you’d like to see.
NORML RI is pleased that legalization is finally coming to our state. We hope to help make its implementation intelligent, compassionate, sensible and reasonably profitable for all Rhode Islanders from the very beginning.
Follow NORML Rhode Island on Facebook and visit their website to stay up to date on marijuana legalization efforts in the state.
Source: https://blog.norml.org/2019/02/26/rhode-island-gov-raimondos-proposed-marijuana-legalization-budget-plan/
Rhode Island: Gov. Raimondo’s Proposed Marijuana Legalization Budget Plan was originally published to https://gigglesndimples.com/
from Giggles N Dimples - Feed https://gigglesndimples.com/2019/02/26/rhode-island-gov-raimondos-proposed-marijuana-legalization-budget-plan/
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Tier 5 Youth Mobility Visa Process
I’ve mentioned in a previous post about why I decided to move – this one will be more about the process that I went through to get my Visa and to get to the UK. Most of the process is the same for everyone, but there will be a few small differences depending where you apply from and how you decide to get here.
I’ll start by saying this – the visa process was much simpler and easier (less stressful) than I was expecting it to be, I was really quite surprised by how stress free it was to be honest.
There are a few conditions you have to meet before you can get the visa and they are
· Aged 18 – 30 (You must be under the age of 30 when you arrive in the UK – your 30th birthday could be June 1, but if you arrive in the UK on May 31st, you’ll be right according to the visa requirements – but this is probably not worth the risk, arrive as early as you can if you’re getting close to the age – this was my first issue)
· You have to have £1890 in savings (the easiest way to work out what £ is in AUD is to double it but it will vary on the exchange rate at the time)
· You are Australian, Canadian, Japanese, from Monaco, New Zealander, Taiwanese, South Korean or from Hong Kong (the last 2 will need a sponsor – the rest don’t. I know for a fact that the Australian Government is your automatic sponsor, but you don’t need to do anything in order for this to happen)
· You can only apply within 6 months of wanting to travel – I arrived in the UK August 6, so I applied at the start of February – you can apply closer to the date but there's a chance you won’t have an answer in time so do it as early as you can.
You must have a current passport (to be safe, make sure its valid for at least 2 years) or an equivalent travel ID and you MUST provide a bank balance or statement showing you have at least £1,890 in savings and this is conversion rate dependant – I used a proof of balance statement from the Commonwealth Bank which I could generate off the app on my phone – I’m sure all the other banks will have something similar. Make sure it has your name and address to be on the safe side plus your balance. You must have this when you go to the appointment, you can’t go to the appointment then save. Obviously, £1890 is the minimum – the more you have the better. You also need to provide TB results – but this is only relevant in a very few countries and Australia isn’t one of them, so you won’t have to worry about this.
Once you’ve got what you need, you do all the paperwork online through the UK Government website. It’s all relatively straightforward, just answer questions and tick boxes, but you must have a UK address to fill out the form – a hotel or hostel is acceptable. Took me about 20 minutes in total. During the process, you need to pay the visa fee which will vary depending on the exchange rate. From memory, the visa fee was £245 + $99 appointment fee plus £150 a year (£300 total) for the health subsidy – this allows you to be covered by the NHS during your stay – basically the same as Medicare in Australia – it doesn’t cover everything, but most things are – again the same as Medicare.
In total, my visa cost me about $1060 total – again yours may vary depending on the exchange rate. Once you do all the paperwork and pay, you print everything off and make an appointment to go to your nearest visa centre to have your fingerprints and a photo taken – you will also need to have a passport style photograph to attach to your printed visa application fee.
Now this is where your experience may be different as mine was a bit of a mixed bag.
The visa centre in Canberra city (seems a bit stupid considering the British High Commission is in the City as well but whatever) was a nice place, it’s part of the Regus Business Centre. The first person I spoke to (which was a security guard) gave me a form to fill out but didn’t explain anything about what it was or why I had to fill it out – it was basically just contact details for the centre’s records – but again, he never explained it. I honestly don’t think English was his strongpoint and he was more interested in playing with his phone anyway. After waiting a while (I don’t think I mentioned that the whole appointment was only meant to take 15 minutes), I was called in to see the next person. This one was much better, she was better at explaining what was happening and what I needed to do.
I took the following documents with me to make my application stronger – there is a link on the UK Gov website that suggests what to bring.
· Valid Australian Passport and driver’s license (scanned the passport, license was for ID)
· Filled out visa application with passport size photo
· Proof of Bank Balance
· Confirmation of Flights
· Accommodation Confirmation (a hotel or hostel is acceptable)
· A regular bank statement (I used it to show that I was still actively saving)
The lady scanned everything, asked me a few questions as part of the process but it wasn’t anything to worry about which I wasn’t expecting. She did everything on the computer and scanned my documents and gave me back the originals. Then she took me in to the next room where they take your finger prints and a photo which is used as ID on the UK immigration database.
There were a few tech issues with the camera and finger print scanner (probably because it was all ancient) but it all went through in the end.
After all that, the copies of the documents, the finger prints and photo (biometric data) was sent through to the UK immigration facility in Sheffield UK and my passport was sent to Sydney. This was one but I was a bit hesitant about but that was because up until January 1, 2018 the passports were sent to Manila in the Philippines for the duration of the visa approval process. Once I realised it was only going to Sydney and that they were sending it back via Australia post (you can have it tracked which I did) I was fine.
All up, the appointment at the visa centre took about an hour – as opposed to the 15 minutes they quoted.
It took 11 days for my passport to come back with my Entry Permit attached to it. Now this is NOT the visa – it’s an entry permit. You receive a letter with the passport telling you what the next step of the process is. Once I landed at Heathrow, you go through the arrivals process as normal, the only difference is the immigration office will ask you a few questions about where you’re staying and what you’re planning to do for money, nothing to strenuous, and instead of stamping a page in your passport, they stamp the entry permit – its only valid for 30 days from this the date you put on your application so if anything changes, you could get stuck with an invalid entry permit – don’t let this happen.
Once I got to London, I had to go to a specific post office (it will change depending on the address you provide as part of the visa process) and pick up your biometric re-entry permit (BRP) – take the letter you received back with your passport and your passport itself (the instructions are in the letter) and the post office people will give you the permit. I was expecting it to be something in my passport, but it’s more like a driver’s license so I just keep it in my wallet. The BRP is proof of your right to work and live in the UK, so don’t lose it. You can get a replacement if needed, but there’s a cost and it’s probably a pain to do.
Once you’ve got that, you’re officially a resident of the UK.
The biggest piece of advice I can give you is this –
If you can get a lease on a flat or something to prove you address once you get to the UK – it will make opening a bank account and getting your National Insurance Number (think Australian Tax File Number) so much easier. I didn’t do this – and it’s been a nightmare to get anything since as you need proof of address to open an account and to theoretically get your NIN – though they never asked me for proof when I applied for mine today so I’m not sure what the big fuss was. The bank is still an issue though.
There!
If you’re looking at moving, hopefully this will help you out a bit. There’s tonnes of information on the internet though so just do some googling and I’m sure you’ll be right.
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