#anyway god the way this game hit so much more on the second playthrough

[vancalox]

finishing rogue trader today probably. hope i explode

[jackass-jones]

My ass was trying so hard not to jump up and down with glee playing yttd with my sister and getting to the shin reveal I was like MY GUY MY FUNNY LAD MY SILLY RABBIT

[dirtyoldmanhole]

made it past black flames... gunter fans know what that means. :'))))

et iz emotional pain time!!

anyway it was cool the description text for the chapter said "descend on valla" while it had "floating isle" right there on the location box.

whack geography there you have, fates!

i suppose it makes sense in terms of "descending down into the bottomless canyon" but since i'm doing an unsubtle amount of parallels to [valla = the underworld] for Symbolic Fic Reasons it was neat to see the game itself nod towards that versus an ultimately less descriptive word like "fell down the canyon".

you ever think how that sky was likely the last thing gunter thought he was going to see the first time he fell down? :') and then what he must feel like to be kinda forced to do it all over again? :'))))

speaking of the literal devil....

[internal screaming]

god this second rev playthrough is going to emotionally wreck me WORSE than the first playthrough, and that one pretty much broke my brain as is!!!!

anyway this is the first shot you see of gunter in-game since... I think it was right before the wind tribe chapter where you fought the "faceless"? i'm pretty sure I would have screenshotted it had there been another one.

i also think it's really interesting you don't see him next to azura, which feels like it'd make sense considering both of them, you, and jakob had already been down in the bottomless canyon. (ngl jakob got shafted in these little map scenes, he feels like he should be there more.)

anyway, very subtle yellow flag number one for what's coming up.

the royals have their one obligatory moment of sane 'wtf we ain't jumping down no canyon' reasoning. gunter gets this kind of random 'hey i'm alive still remember me' line for the players who aren't single-brain cell'd gunterfuckers (:P) :

corrin reveals she's prepared to sacrifice herself to valla's curse (you die if you mention anything about the otherworldly kingdom) to reveal to everyone exactly who the enemy is----

(....OUFFF can you imagine gunter's moment of panic there.)

-- everyone trades a few lines about trusting corrin, after wanting her to order them to jump.

they jump. first, hilariously enough.

so this is probably the clearest shot we'll ever get of Scarlet's flower. hold that thought for future Plot Reasons.

(i also do think it's a little interesting / a flub that the cinematographers had gunter already jump in the bottomless canyon--Scarlet and Corrin trade 3-4 lines before they jump too. then again i suppose if he was still sticking around at this point the whole "who killed scarlet" jig would be up way before it was actually resolved.)

speaking of, i still can't believe i fucking called it with possessed!gunter killing scarlet the first go around. :') all i knew beforehand is he got possessed somewhere and there was something whack with his family.

here we goooo......

whelp whelp whelp

THIS REALLY HITS DIFFERENT WHEN YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO IT IS

GEE I WONDER

control your kinky af boytoy corrin!!! safe word is anankos!!!!!

(if you squint, you can see how the game uses anankos' cloaked model -- privately i think they should have used the great knight model since it would have been an infinitesimal 'blink and you miss it' hint but an absolute genius bonus the second time. just stick the helmet on if you don't want to give everything away. )

something exquisitely painful: guess who targeted corrin first, before scarlet dives in to save her?

:')

... whelp. nice seeing you.

damn even the game ships ryoma/scarlet hardcore.

corrin gets all of 30 seconds to grieve/freak out about scarlet dying and then enemies show up, thankfully followed by allies.

gunter's in the third wave of sprites that show up, the first being corrin, then xander&ryoma.....

... aaand i just noticed he's right next to corrin. :'))))))))))))))))))))

time to roll valla!

[thessalian]

Thess vs Mod Issues

Well. That explains some things.

See, I had a few issues on this my second playthrough of Baldur's Gate 3. Specifically, I was struggling with Nere's head. I had it in my inventory. The game would not recognise that I had this head in my inventory. This was annoying, but not a huge problem. It's a side quest. The asshole was dead. So I just kind of yeeted the head into the lava and moved on.

Now, two things, each more problematic than the last. First, it will not recognise that I have a night orchid for Shadowheart, which is frustrating as hell. But the worst of it is that I have two chunks of infernal iron and I am at the Last Light Inn and Dammon is asking me for infernal iron to fix Karlach and IT WILL NOT RECOGNISE THAT I HAVE INFERNAL IRON.

So I hit Google. Now, apparently this is a bug that mostly hits people playing with mods, but has actually hit some people playing an unmodded game. One of the last couple of hotfixes Larian did kind of messed up some bits and pieces and made some important items (iron, night orchids, heads, all manner of shit) just ... not be recognised as being in your inventory when it's in your inventory.

There are a lot of things that can be done about this and they're all complicated as fuck and it's frustrating. I don't even know where to start with the fixes. I'm trying one, but it may be that the only way is to ... well, start again, clean, no mods. Which means no proper aasimar Alisaie, at least until the next hotfix. And that's assuming that I don't wind up with the same bug in a non-modded playthrough.

FUUUUUUUUUCK.

Well, I'll keep going through this whole validation ... thing and we'll see how it goes. It's a good thing that a) I like Act 1 well enough and b) am perfectly happy to keep going through things to find the New Stuff. Bneh.

EDIT: I've been doing some hunting and while there are a lot of fixes, I've learned a few things. Like, this apparently started with Hotfix 16, because Larian's still implementing this "grab whatever you want from whatever companion you want / the camp chest whenever you need to" thing and it's a process. It's apparently fucking up with ModFixer, which a lot of mods apparently need or already have embedded in it. Thing is, the person who made the ModFixer mod has never updated it, ever, and apparently the comment when people flag up the issue is "The mod isn't broken; I'm not fixing shit". So ... that's nice. Of course, some people are having this bug without having any mods at all, so they're right in a way, but that doesn't help all the people with the mods. So that's nice. I'll probably have a poke at fixing things but I'm going to have to go back to a way earlier save anyway because this goes all the way back to the Nere fight, so I don't really know how to cope with this. But I can't do all that much right now because I have an appointment with the optician in about an hour because I really need to have my glasses prescription looked at (gods, the sticker shock on this one but I'd like to be able to see and have fewer headaches, so there you have it), which means clothes / shoes / out. I also need more heavy cream and some limescale remover for my kettle. Yay hard water. I just pray I don't come out of the eye tests with more migraine - I usually do because of the glaucoma puff test, but I'd like to have a video game day.

*sigh* Maybe I'll just go back to poking new games I haven't touched yet and leave BG3 alone for awhile.

[riddlerosehearts]

okay, so i finished my first playthrough of baldur's gate 3 last night!! and then i played the ending cutscenes and the epilogue twice so i could collect my thoughts and reactions and figure out how to write them all out. god, i love this game. for a while i almost didn't want it to end because i loved it so much but i think now that i've finished it i'll only become more attached to the silly little half-elf bard that i created to play this game with, and want to keep thinking about him and posting about him more--especially since i'm planning to eventually get a new graphics card and then i'll be able to make nice high quality screenshots and gifs of the game. i've already been planning out what my next tav will be like too, and thinking about doing so many more playthroughs of this game! i may have some criticisms here and there because bg3 is definitely flawed in some areas, but i mean, what isn't? it's a huge game, i had a lot of fun with it overall, and i'm so glad i finally decided to pick it up in march after months of seeing its characters flood my dash.

i kept hit the "4096 characters per block" limit while making this post btw 😭😭 but it seems i could get around that just by breaking up the bullet points a bit. i don't care if nobody but me is going to read my million words of rambling about how much i love these characters, i am not cutting anything out of my post.

so we have the big goodbye scene at the docks, starting with orpheus wanting you to mercy kill him and lae'zel to carry on his legacy and lead the rebellion. i wasn't sure what to have her do, so i initially picked the option for her to make her own choice because i wanted to see what would happen, and because it's what i've usually been choosing in these situations. she decided to do as orpheus asked and the dialogue she had about it was beautiful, but honestly in this specific case i think persuading her to craft a new fate for herself in faerun is the most in-character thing for elenion to do. so i reloaded and did that. and i think it definitely was the right choice for this playthrough, because what she said about her destiny not being for orpheus or vlaakith or decide, and how it was on faerun that she learned to be free, is pretty much the exact reasoning i had in mind! and the epilogue party, with the hopeful letter from voss mentioning an alliance with the githzerai and the dialogue from lae'zel about fighting vlaakith's army, also ended up confirming for me that her staying in faerun doesn't mean the githyanki are doomed or that she won't still find ways to fight for her people.

the way she's all like "go mingle! that's the word, right?" and "this is... nice. yes, i think that's the right word for it" at the party is so funny and cute. she's trying her best!! i adore lae'zel and i will never understand why she seems to be so much less popular than most of the other companions.

after lae'zel's scene we have a very short scene with gale talking about the crown of karsus. i chose to have him give it back to mystra. i'm going to come back around to gale later and talk about astarion now though! his ending scene makes me so sad to think about, like, everyone is talking about celebrating and then he's just suddenly on fire, nobody really shows any concern outside of one of the companions saying a single line about how he won't get to see the sun anymore, and then that's the last anyone sees of him before the epilogue party?? the tone of the scene feels like it's supposed to be funny but like i said, it just makes me sad :( the epilogue makes things a lot better, though--you get to actually talk to him about and he's surprisingly earnest and apologetic, and seems so much happier and more at peace now. he also continues to be hilarious. the second time i did the epilogue party i chose the "i've been boring--living a quiet, peaceful life" dialogue option and he's like "and fate let you get away with that? i'm impressed!" anyway, though, i love his growth and i'm so proud of him.

next up, wyll and karlach--i totally get why so many people ship them now because wyll is the one to call out to her and bring up the idea of them going to avernus together, and then at the party she says having him there has been incredible and that you can get through anything with someone you love at your side?? i mean, karlach is very freely affectionate with her friends--she tells a non-romanced tav she loves them after fighting gortash, and if you tell her as she's dying that she was spectacular in every way she'll say she adores you. so no, her saying she loves wyll doesn't have to imply anything romantic, but it is just adorable anyway.

the scene with them in avernus feels so weird though... i mean, karlach's part in it is badass, the problem is wyll just standing there being silent the whole time. i know that if you romance karlach your tav can go with her to avernus instead, and it feels really obvious that the scene must've been made with only that scenario in mind when wyll's version of it could've been unique to him and had actual dialogue between him and karlach!! honestly, it just feeds even more into the feeling of wyll's personal quest never being about him. it also makes me even more curious what the ending is like with him becoming grand duke... i mean, does he end up becoming a slimy politician who's corrupted by power? if so, then why did the story itself not do more (or anything, really) to hint that that would happen to him and give him more of a power hungry side and if not, then why do the dialogue options for convincing him to become the duke both talk about power and make it seem super obvious that that's the Bad Ending™?

oh well, i guess i can't say i'm not happy that there's a way to give karlach a more hopeful ending! i understand the appeal of a good tragedy, and i understand that karlach herself would rather die than be unable to live freely, so maybe you could say that letting her make the choice to die rather than return to avernus is the option that gives her the most agency... but at the same time, the song that plays over her ending scene is "i want to live". she says she wants to live, to be free and be happy with her friends by her side, but it just seems so hopeless. if one of her friends is willing to brave avernus with her, to make sure that she won't be alone while helping her have a fighting chance of getting her life back, then i think she should be able to take that chance. i kind of wish it was possible to fix her engine and give her a fully happy ending as well--everyone but her pretty much has one, as even though astarion can't walk in the sun as a spawn he can still be free from cazador. and if the tragedy of karlach's death or the bittersweetness of her returning to avernus resonated more with someone, then they could still choose one of those endings. but i guess larian probably isn't going to add anything like that at this point :(

i also still just can't help but feel like wyll really deserved better treatment from the writing. well, at least his epilogue confirms that mizora isn't bothering him too much, and you get some incredibly sweet dialogue if you tell him you've missed traveling with him.

does... shadowheart not have any kind of ending scene at the docks?? like, she's obviously there, she can be randomly chosen out of the companions to make little comments on things, but i don't get a scene with her at all and i'm unsure if it's bugged or if the writers just left her out?? it feels weird. but i guess that's okay for now, because i absolutely adore the entire conversation i got to have with her at the party. i'm so glad she chose to save her parents in this playthrough--apparently, there are certain hidden requirements you have to meet or she'll agree to let them go, and i guess i came across everything by accident during the brief time that i took her around the city with me. anyway, elenion got snarky with her and pretended to forget her name and then she got snarky back and just automatically hugged him. adorable. the first time i played the epilogue i volunteered halsin to take the owlbear because i hadn't talked to shadowheart yet, but the second time i played i gave him to her because holy shit she's got as many animals in her house as fluttershy. love that for her. and the way she rambles on about her parents, her mother's recipes and her father's terrible jokes, and then apologizes because she thinks it must be a boring topic?? excuse me, no, i am unironically extremely interested in this and i think elenion is too because he's also just been trying to live a normal boring life with his and gale's families for the last 6 months.

and now, back to gale. god he's so cute. the way he does this little bow to your tav during the ending and then they bow back. the silly indirect way he tries to propose by asking if you'll come back to waterdeep and become part of the dekarios clan. the way he says it would make tara and his mom happy if he got married and then goes "oh thank goodness!" when you say yes. the kneeling down and kissing your tav's hand after that. i had to try and get decent screenshots of that part because it was so cute:

i also tried both of the choices, between whether to move right in and settle down with him or continue traveling together, because i was initially indecisive about what would be the best/most fitting choice for my tav's character. in the travel ending, i love how gale says that even while adventuring, he's never been so relaxed and now he spends his free time writing, painting, and knitting. i also had this extremely cute dialogue at the party and now i'm wondering what the variations for each class are:

but, ultimately, after trying both and having both versions of the epilogue convo, i decided that just moving to waterdeep and living a calm life is what felt most right. i figure that what elenion needs most in their life now is stability. also, gale becoming a professor is just perfect for him and is so cute. and so is this:

see, this is why gale with a bard tav is a perfect combination: they can collaborate on their writing! anyway i love gale so much but this post is so stupidly long at this point and i need to try and wrap it up, so uhhh, what else...

tara is so cute and funny at the party, grumbling about being jealous of gale's relationship with your tav if you romanced him and then complaining that he keeps his potions in such disarray that it seems like he was raised in a barn. i also overheard her calling everyone ugly while i had speak with animals up AKJAFGHSKFG. at least half the reason why i want to do a gale origin playthrough is because i need to see more of tara.

volo claims his invitation got lost in the post. i really, really think he just was not supposed to be invited, and yet here he is! one of the first things he tells elenion is that he's gotten good at forging their signature, and then he says their success has been wonderful for his reputation. they just might be considering hiring astarion to kill him.

i did not even know jaheira had kids. i looked it up and apparently you can find her house and meet her family in the city but i just completely fucking missed that. something to keep in mind for my next playthrough!

i love that there's a whole box full of letters from people you helped throughout your journey. honestly, i wish there were a few more, specifically from characters like rolan or his siblings, isobel and aylin, omeluum and blurg, and more from the tiefling refugees in general because i love them. but the ones from alfira and dammon are so so cute. also, i got a letter from shadowheart's friend nocturne, which made me realize... i never met her and i never got the memory related to her either because i didn't know you could give shadowheart the noblestalk LMAO oops. i missed quite a few details, huh!

...and i guess that's where i'll end this post. i've been playing this game since march and i've only just finished my first playthrough, though granted there were like 3-4 whole weeks in there where waiting for a new hard drive + feeling weird from irl stuff meant i didn't really play at all. still, though, i can't wait to start back over in act 1 again! especially since, tbh, i think act 1 just might've been my favorite. i love act 2 for ketheric and isobel and aylin and a lot of other things, and act 3 honestly felt a bit messy and overwhelming but still had a lot of great moments. but there's just something i love about beginnings, and the atmosphere during act 1. so, yeah, can't wait to experience it again as a whole new character.

[archivistea]

please god post the pictures i dont play that game and i wanna see how bad they did that guy

HELPPPP okay yeah bet anything for u bestie

This got long I’m sorry

basically since na server is a year behind the cn server I remember seeing these last year and now it’s just like 😀 haha great bc THIS ONE is back again

so for na server’s first anniv it was like. first kiss themed i think 💀 I don’t play tot anymore but I did pull artem’s first anniv card and then dipped yippee

anyway for the second anniv it’s proposal themed ft. the first time they actually. well. bang 😭😭😭 jaw hit the floor when I saw the change in age rating like HYV HELLO

here r the pics from the trailer

yeah

since this is literally an otome game this kind of fan service is to be expected yk.

but when I watched someone on the cn server generously post their playthrough of the second anniv cards last year artem’s really rubbed me the wrong way and it wasn’t until I came on here and some of the tot blogs I follow also shared a similar sentiment that i was actually able to realize why!!

god I wish I could find the original post I’m thinking abt bc op made so many good points but

basically they made the socially awkward doesn’t know how to talk to women married to his work senior attorney at themis law firm into this 😭 and even tho artem’s my favorite and part of me is like “ahaha damn” at this art (it’s very nice art) it just loses a lot of who he is and how he would treat his relationship w mc (to me at least)

and to make matters worse if I remember correctly he proposes at his boss’ wedding 😭😭like the reason they’re all dressed fancy is bc they were literally AT Celestine’s wedding

I love her btw she’s artem and mc’s number 1 supporter

BUT ANYWAYS

Artem literally googles how to talk to someone you like and buys books on romance like he’s studying for an exam you really think he’s going to be this smooth

and he would literally never take that spotlight away from Celestine by doing that at her wedding even though she knew and wanted him to and was chill w it bc ofc she would

I just think there could have been a different way to go abt this story that could be much more meaningful 😭😭 and I’m usually not one to shy away from fanservice but. HES NOT ANOTHER JUMIN HAN

I didnt go through my mysmes phase in high school for this

anyway yeah that’s all

[lemonlurkrr]

@aureateart​ ok. My favourite parts of twilight princess  (and some other random thoughts about TP sprinkled in there) taken from my monster TP word vomit google doc :

Link lmao

Ok but for real, I like this incarnation of Link :)

I love Ordon (it just seems like such a chill and cozy village)

ALSO love how easy it is to interpret Link as being a sort of older brother figure to the Ordon kiddos. It’s just,, super cute? AND GHHH nice nice good thanks nintendo for giving me characters to care about/characters that I can imagine Link caring about

He didn’t sign up for any of this (tbh, none of the Links really signed up for this jshdjsd). But I mean like, dude was just going to take a trip to castle town, drop a gift off for the royal family, and come back. But haHA oopsies he did get to castle town eventually but definitely not the way he expected hsjdhsd

He’s just a little dude?

AND FUCK. HE REALLY HAD NEVER BEEN OUTSIDE OF ORDON UNTIL ALL OF THAT

everything is new for the player AND Link

Midna

She’s cool :)

she really just

*teleports into your jail cell* hello whore.

I am no master at writing but AYYYY she do got a character arc!!!

She was actually pretty helpful sometimes, I ALWAYS checked in with her before turning to a game guide

Other NPCs

NICE

Love all of the TP character designs (ASHEI’S ARMOUR??? AOWOAOAOOAO)

Saving Zelda and all of Hyrule was important yea but thinking back maybe it was more like, the Ordonians and the kids were what was pushing Link to keep on going

I like the Resistance members :) Very video gamey of them to have one NPC assigned to each dungeon but hey!!! Kinda cool getting to see a little glimpse of each of em

Idk, it’s just fun to imagine Link popping into Telma’s bar after each dungeon and taking a little rest :) (or to celebrate? maybe just chat, idk, give this man some downtime!!)

Honestly it was just kind of nice that Link wasn’t entirely alone. I mean, I know Midna was there the whole time, but I am always for giving Link a big group of friends (see my love for hyrule warriors, age of calamity, and LU LMAO)

Hero’s shade, very very cool, kinda sad he died with regrets but HEY. He got to pass on his knowledge eventually

AND the connection to OoT?? AND assumed to be related by blood too????? GOOD SHIT

Ilia, I REALLY really wanted to like her (er, it’s not like I dislike her, she’s just,,, kinda there for me).

It definitely seems like Nintendo was pushing to make her the romantic interest, but GHHHHH they really threw that out of the window for me by having her lose her memories

I saw a text post a while ago that said it would have been interesting if Ilia was Link’s sister instead and YES!! That would have been cool too :0

Wish we got to know Zelda a little more

I feel like we barely know anything about her

Idk man, like I said earlier, I never really had any sort of drive to save Zelda during my playthroughs

She obviously knows Midna, so maybe if they gave us just a little bit more of that relationship I’d be more interested in her?

TP WORLD BUILDINGGGG

Botw has good world building too, but each race felt kinda,,, isolated? I absolutely love the different architecture and vibe each town has (and all the the weapons too) but ghhh yea everyone felt so separated. As far as I can remember, we don’t see tooo much of the races interacting with each other? Now that I’m typing that out maybe that’s to be expected because of the calamity but KLSJDKJFD ANYWAYS THIS IS ABOUT TP

The world feels nice and alive, love how populated everything is

Castle town I like castle town a lot, it feels dense and busy and I really like how you can’t talk to every NPC you see

Very cool very fun that we got to see the Gorons hanging out in multiple spots

kinda wish we got to see the Zoras a little more (I guess they are a bit limited since they need water but GHHHH the tp zoras are so prebby,,)

BUT HEY, I do remember seeing a zora or two hanging out in the hot springs around death mountain after beating the lakebed temple (I think, might have been a different dungeon) 

but aaaa would have been nice to see them in at least a couple of other places. I think it would have really added to the “congrats Link!! You’re restoring peace to Hyrule” feeling you get from seeing the Gorons hanging out in Kakariko and Castle Town

ORDON

Love how chill it is and how it’s kind of separate from Hyrule proper

They really do seem to be doing their own thing apart from the rest of Hyrule

Just kinda adds onto the “he’s just a regular dude minding his own business” kind of vibes I get from TP Link

Also I like Ordona :)

THE LIGHT SPIRITS,,

Love their design

And love how they’re not exactly like a pure white?

Different spirit representing each aspect of the triforce my beloved

But yes hi I think Ordona is very cool

Who are you, how did you get here, which goddess do you represent? Do you even represent one of the three golden goddesses? Do the Ordonians know about you? Have any of them ever SEEN you??? Do they worship you? Does anybody even know about the existence of the light spirits?? FUCK so many questions but ghhh I like how they broke the status quo a bit by throwing in a fourth spirit :)

I feel like this one is kinda weird but I like that voice sample they used in the light spirit music. It’s spooky and pretty at the same time :)  

cutscenes mmmmm

Ok ok, the spooky lanayru cutscene is very good

BUT THE “Link, Chosen Hero! Lend us the last of your power!” CUTSCENE MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM LOVE IT SO MUCH

IT just

Idk man

It just hit different

I like the music

And seeing the light spirits swimming around in the light juice water whatever it is

Summoning the light arrows?

AND HHHHH “Lend us the last of your power!” THIS IS IT. This is the final battle.

Seeing Zelda bow down, and then Link putting his hand out 👌👌👌

Link: ok bud, let’s do this together :)

Connection to OoT (did I already mention this? Maybe., Whatever)

Very cool nintendo :)

I love seeing connections between all the diff zelda games.

Because like, on one hand, they’re all separate from each other because of yknow, individual hero stuff. BUT ALSO, they’re all connected because of the reincarnation stuff

Grrrr walking through the sacred grove and going “The Hero of Time walked around here a long time ago” FUCK THATS SO COOL

Is the Hero’s Shade watching me? What does he think of me? DIsappointed? Proud? The Hero of Time went through HELL so this timeline didn’t have to deal with any of the shit Ganon was gonna pull with the triforce, better not fuck this UP Link!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Midlink is cute

Kinda hurts that she smashed the mirror but that was probably so Nintendo didn’t have to worry about people going “but what about the twili??????” for any of the other games LMAO

BUT ALSO LIKE SKJDKLJFJ There are some pretty massive plot holes in TP anyway so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ whatever it’s fine we’ll just use this for angst because GOD do y’all like angst

So is Shadlink

Honestly don’t know where this ship came from but it’s cute so whatever

THE MUSIC??

Love Midna’s theme and how they referenced the dark world theme from ALttP (I remember trying to learn the dark world theme on the piano and doing the Leonardo DiCaprio point meme at the little jingle I recognized from Midna’s theme)

Hyrule field theme SLAPS.

Apparently references a couple of the other over-world themes from the previous zelda games (I got this from 8-bit Music theory’s video on the over-world zelda themes, he talks about TP at around 11:40 but def recommend watching the whole video if you’re into music analysis stuff)

So there’s this bit of the Hyrule Field theme, I don’t know the official name for it but I remember seeing somewhere it being called the “at an advantage theme” since yeah, you hear it during the boss music whenever you expose their weak points. FUCKINGGG LOVE THAT. Didn’t notice it during my first playthrough, but hearing it during my second was like a little easter egg for my ears every time :)

Midna’s lament is very pretty (and fun to play on the piano)

COURAGE THEME.

I didn’t care for it too much when I started playing the game but hearing it in ZREO’s arrangement of the Hyrule Field theme literally makes me turn into a puddle of emotions. Also hearing it around and of the Ordon kids (I think it plays after Link saves Colin) AAAAAAAAAAAAA

Orchestra piece #1 and #2 HOLY SHIT???????????????? 

Literally, the first time I listened to those I just,,,, plugged in my headphones, volume 100, layed on the floor/against my desk and silently vibed. I don’t know what the hell it is, but those two just fit so well with TP?? I still avoid listening to them nowadays cause if I DO I definitely will get overwhelmed with the “god I love this game so FUCKING MUCH” kind of feels.

Wolf link sucks at singing

the first time I heard him howling Zelda’s Lullaby I lost my shit because LKSJLDKSGLKJFSKG god that was.,, Bad. Anyways, hearing him howl some of the songs from OoT was cute :)

TP STAFF ROLL??? 

VERY GOOD. IT’s like 10 minutes long and GOD do I love every single second of it. It doesn’t have the same energy as the skyward sword staff roll or the orchestra pieces but GOD does it hit good??

Nice and calm after that big exciting adventure. Maybe it would have been more fun or emotional to have a higher energy piece but it was really nice getting to sit back and watch the camera fly around Hyrule. Seeing like, the Gorons and the Zoras having a good time, the kids returning to Ordon? GOOD SHIT.

and AAAAA that end, when you hear the main Zelda theme and see Link riding off out of Faron woods on Epona… good shit. It gets you thinking, where the hell is he going? What is he doing? Off ot do more adventuring? Going to help out the resistance or something? Going to help Zelda? Or maybe he’s trying to figure out a way to restore the mirror of twilight? Whoooo knows.

hhHHHHhhh it’s just that final reminder that YES!!! YOU JUST PLAYED A ZELDA GAME. JUST ANOTHER STORY APART OF THE WHOLE EPIC OF THE ZELDA SERIES AS A WHOLE

I also want to acknowledge the instrument/samples they used for all the twili stuff.

They’re all just so unique and contrast SO well with the rest of the TP OST. LIKE FUCK!! Anytime I hear the screech from the Twilit Kargarok? Sends a shiver down my spine. I associate those sounds SO strongly with the twili realm. (Like, the same way you associate the BSHEWW VVWWMMM sounds with light sabers)

I love it so god damn much

literally any time there’s a certain sound or motif associated with something I lose my shit

Sacred grove sacred grove sacred gro-

lovely lovely lovely so much fun playing that on the piano. AND again, I did the Leonardo DiCaprio pointing meme when I heard the theme from the lost woods come in GHHHHHHHH

shoutout to TP Faron Woods for helping me study and get through all of my schoolwork

BLEGUUHHH can you tell that I really love music?

and also yea I guess TP is kinda cool too :\

IF YOU READ ALL OF THAT THANKS I GUESS

[lordrandreaming]

Abt my Elden Ring playthrough:

I can confidently say after 18ish hours in ER, i am level 39 and am quickly making my way around, snagging all the Sites of Grace i see. The game is a BLAST to play, its utterly refreshing!I just wish i had ps+, i don't have the money for that right now, so I'm doing the game without human help, I'm still using npc summons ofc! (Thx Roiger, you were a great distraction for Margit..)

Just like i did DS3 my first run! Barely to no human help. Sure i won't get invaded by people, or be able to invade.. But know, if i was invading, i would fucking get you. 

But im offline! And seek to stay offline. 

I really wanted Elden Ring when i learned abt Maliketh, at first i thought he was a half beastman like from Bloodborne, but i learned his was a big ole wolf, i was set.. And then i learned more about Varre, instead of thinking he was calling me bitchless, he just stated i couldn't level up basically. I want to smash both of them. And i will. 

I love fighting Artorias, so flighty isn't going to be a problem. Im honestly very excited to fight Maliketh! I plan on finishing Gurranq's quest before i fight him, so he's all there and i get a special dialogue!

I honestly really love Elden Ring, it's just so fun. It's like discovering DS3 for the first time all over again, and that... Well, that was 6 years ago. About to be 7.. It makes me nostalgic. Im level 350 and have been in NG+7 way before Ashes of Ariandel was even announced. Sure, i played through as a Sorcerer and a Miracle build, but i prefer playing with my op as shit quality build! Which, started off as a strength build.

Elden Ring reminds me of first ending up in the world of Dark Souls, it's beautiful mystery, the crippling depravity, how everyone has lost hope.. Hollows everywhere, having my shield up basically 24/7 when i first explored. I'll never forget the sense wonder and magic i felt the first time through. After DS3, no DLC yet, i moved onto Bloodborne, which is second place in my favorites of the Soulsgames, it sits with DS2. My number 1 faves though, have to be DS, DS3, and now, Elden Ring.

I LOVE Bloodborne. I platinumed it, and honestly think it's easier than Dark Souls, on account of how fast you move, the guns, and when you get hit you get the chance to recover lost health. It was a different feel, its so unique to itself! The lore is very intruiging and fucked up, like any Souls game, the character's are sparce but still around, and oh my god.. Don't get me started on the general macabre beauty of it all! I crawled all the chalice's, i got all the endings, i did it all with BB and DS3.

DS itself.. Oh my fucking god. I only have the original Prepare to Die version, as i been had it long before the remaster was announced. My save wouldn't be on there, and i already progressed *so much*.. I didn't think it worth 40$ for visual upgrades that i didn't like. Not to mention, it helped me cut off a toxic friendship, so im definantly not getting it.

Anyways, the original DS journey is such a gorgeous and tragic one, and us, the Chosen Undead go on some wackass pilgrimage all the way to Gwyn's tomb, the Kiln of the First Flame. After all I've seen, enemies I've felled, i knew the right choice would be the Dark Lord Ending. Because, linking the first flame gives us DS3. The world collapsed in on itself at the very end, the.. Kiln no longer exists. I like the ending where everything stops, but it all just starts again anyway.

Artorias was the first true Character i fell in love with. His lore makes me cry every time, he's my fucking babygirl.. I adore him so much, and the Original DS. I remember seeing it around when i was 10-11 years old. I didn't know what the fuck it was, but heard it was really hard. (At this time i rage quitted.. Alot.) So i steered clear of it, until years later and i got addicted to the series.

Dark Souls, Soulsborne in general, just mean alot to me. It helps me cope with the harshest fuckin reality. I don't care if people think im lost in my head in a non-existent fantasy land of depression, difficulty, and darkness. But.. Here's the thing. Even admist all the chaos, all the hoplessness, the hollowing, there's still this unbridled determination, that someone is coming along to fix things, or do something that no one else has done. And we, the Chosen, do just that. NPC's can't believe we are still kicking, after we die however many times yet still we make progress. We overcome the challenges no one else has been able to, and everything is new to the pain and suffering.

It's an incredible journey that im glad i was finally able to complete. The Nameless Song always makes me so nostalgic, reminding me of a time i don't have anymore, and never will have again.

DS2, on the other hand, well. I haven't completed it yet! But it's super fun. It's not a Miyazaki masterpiece, but it's still a Souls game. The sense of direction isn't very clear, so i have to look up where to go next, but regardless, im enjoying my journey through Drangleic. It's defiantly different! But it's not bad like some people want you to.

I used to hate it really, and i regret it. For it's a great game, and a good Souls game. I used to say: It's a good game, but not a good *Souls* game. But.. I see things differently now. I've grown up, and see the beauty of it's world. The diverging routes are many, and they run deep. From 16 years old, until now, i didn't appreciate the game for what it was worth. And I apologize, DS2 for treating you like trash. I see now, why people still defend it's greatness to the teeth. But it will never hold a candle to the brilliance of the original DS. 

Bloodborne, is a whole new can of fucked to open up and explore, exposing it's raw sins and secrets to our hunter. It's extremely unique, and overall very fun to play. Almost maxed out my game into NG+7, I've been at the end of my NG+6 playthrough for a very long time, because i like just. Getting to be around, DS3 let's you stay and not move on to the next NG, but.. All the other's don't let you do that. So, i go wherever i want, without anyone gatekeeping me because, well, i already murdered everyone.

When i first began BB, i didn't know what to expect. With Souls games, i pick up bits and pieces of lore, not gameplay, before i jump in. I like going in blind- with some help from the Internet if i need it. Bloodborne has a seamless path, easily leading you everywhere and nowhere at once! I highly recommend playing it. Though if you use a shield 100% of your playthrough in any DS.. Good luck buddy!

The Old Hunter's DLC is BRILLIANT. The fights (not you living failures.. Still fun though.) are incredible! Especially Lady Maria.. Catch me being Bisexual in BB. She can step on me, beat the crap out of me, and i would thank her.. I've actually streamed my NG+6 Maria fight and talked about lore! I'll link it in the comments so whoever cares can go watch me play! Maybe I'll stream Elden Ring at some point.. But anyway!

Old Hunter's is absolutely worth the money and time.

Onto DS3.. My first Souls game. I got it when it released in the US, and had NO idea what i was gettin into. And yeah, i raged at Gundyr and took a week long break before i came crawling back to not get my ass beat, but to first try Gundyr with a new character! Gilligan was his name. He still exists! But.. Not with his original save. I killed Emma and made a big regretti, so i deleted him and started over with my now 350 character, Tyberious.

Before i delve into DS3, i just want to say, all my main DS character's, and even my Bloodborne and ER character's are all the same one soul. They are all different, lead different lives, did different things, but they are all connected. Starting with Selvirous (DS), to Ivaan (DS2), to Tyberious (DS3), to Octavious Xavier Targrei (BB), and now, Daedra (ER). All the same soul, only Daedra has an inkling these past lives, dreaming and remembering fragments from each. 

So. DS3, the first taste of Souls i got. The bosses are amazing, some more or less than others. My favorite fight will always be the Abyss Watchers, and my favorite covenant will always be the Watchdogs of Farron. I have a necklace with the covenant symbol on it, and have worn it for 6 years. I have NEVER taken it off, and i never will. I will die with this necklace.

Anywho.. My DS3 journey was amazing. Visually stunning, jaw dropping experience i will never forget, and DS3 will always have a special place with my heart. It helped me cope with the lost sense i felt, and the great grieving i was in for a very long time. It's not 'Just a Game'. It's a experience that teaches you, you don't just play it, you learn from it.

I already loved Medieval media, had a collection of swords (which.. I don't have anymore. Tragic story, yada yada.) And a friend showed me the Japanese Ocerios cutscene. From then on, i wanted the game. And yeah, loaded up and got my ass kicked. I didn't understand ANYTHING. So.. A week later. I come back, with a new character.

Off i went to begin my journey, and it only took me 125 hours, at level 105-110 to beat the Soul of Cinder. I felt accomplished. I went outside on a lovely summer day, and sat. I felt accomplished.. For ten minutes. I wanted more.. So i started my NG+ playthrough, and had just as much, if not MORE fun!

Especially since i hit so hard. I did years of Co-op and invading, hosted many fight clubs and joined many more. I won't lie, i dearly miss those days. I don't have that anymore, i don't pay for Xbox Live or PS+. Im strictly offline anymore, and im saddened i don't get to see phantoms of people running around, having the risk of being invaded 30 million times, and no human co-op summons.

But.. I'll get through it. I don't need Online experience to fully enjoy the game. I just miss companionship. I'm confident in myself though, and am certain i can beat the game with NPC summons.

Back to DS3- When Ashes first came out, i finished it in the same night. Freide, a Three Phase boss was NOT expected by anyone. After downing her and Ariandel, me and my three phantoms started waving and bowing, and then the health bar came back.

It was fun! But sweetly short. 

Around the time The Ringed City came out, i.. Was just robbed. Long story short, the people i was with took in a family friend's kid, who was a known drug addict and.. Yeah. While no one was home, he just took everything I had. Specifically Mine. I was lost.. For a while. I was heartbroken, and cried alot.

But no worries! My sorrows were fixed, and i replaced some of what i lost. But.. All my old consoles and games were gone, all my progress lost. But.. At least i had DS3 again, and my save was safe. But.. I had to start Bloodborne all over again. It didn't save to the cloud, but no worries. Clearly, i made up for the lost progress. (I was at the end of the game too..)

Onto the Ringed City. What a beautiful sendoff for the Souls series specifically.. It's a brilliant end to Dark Souls, and provides many answers to our many questions. But.. We come up with our own. And gods, I can't tell you how many times i fought Midir. IN MAXED OUT NEW GAME! I had a problem. He's difficult, but I'm determined.

I remember all the times i helped my low level friend's, being 300+, it was so funny to see invaders panic at how hard i hit. I helped with all the bosses, all the time.. And i don't do it anymore. But.. I hope to one day play with my friend, who bought me Elden Ring. Until then, i sit beside him and help him out how i can.

So.. 720+ hours spent in DS3. I say that time was well spent. Hours of fun, suffering, anger, and reward. All worth it in the end.. And in the beginning of Elden Ring.

I will admit, i was screaming and yelling out of how much i loved it. It's GORGEOUS. Absolute BEAUTY. The day-night and weather cycle greatly remind me and my buddy ole pal of The Witcher 3. Which, we both think the update was unnecessary, they just wanted to upshow ER and they are already making a remaster.. Just make the fuckin remaster, and leave the original alone. It was a dumb decision.. Anyway.

Elden Ring sends me over the moon every time i play it. I can't explain in words how much i love it, the looks, the feel, the fighting, everything is just beyond amazing, and i couldn't be happier to have it. 

I can't wait to play more, progress further, and one day complete the game however long it may take me. 

Thanks for reading. Im sorry I'm not writing as much. Real life is kicking my ass, but I'm still around, massing more prompts to one day finish. I'll be posting again.. One day.

[kaeyas-beloved]

Be You {Leviathan x Reader}

Leviathan x Reader (They/Them) || Obey Me!

Warning(s): None (Well, actually I make Levi bully Mammon for less than a paragraph)

Note: This was a request I received from someone on Wattpad!

-------------------

Finally, Leviathan’s done it. It’s been a long three days, hours upon hours having been poured into this playthrough. 

“Woop woop! Aren’t I the best!” he praised himself, smiling wide. He’s skipped meals, pushed assignments to a later date and avoided any outside interactions to finish this game. His sight may be blurry and his limbs numb but if those were the sacrifices he had to make to go full completionist then it was all worth it. Now, time to celebrate a well deserved win.

“I think this calls for some of Ruri-chan’s celebratory season 3 limited edition candy and-!”

A chorus of knocks on his door immediately snuffed out his joy. Levi scowled, turning to glare at his door from his chair, it’s gotta be Mammon. The third born is absolutely positive that it’s his scummy older brother - it always is - back yet again to mooch more money off him for a trip to the casino. The usual slander he and his brothers would throw at the second born was on the tip of his tongue, ready to fire at will. 

“Hey Levi? You there? It’s me....”

A voice that definitely doesn’t belong to the second born piping up and Levi, halfway through spouting the first syllable, shuts up all together. That’s his normie. A weight presses on his heart: he was just about to yell and insult his Henry… 

Clearing his throat in hopes of gaining some kind of composure (all previous anger having diminished) the usual “What’s the password?” came out in a stutter. The demon was only acutely aware of his heart beat. How it skipped periodically. How it raced like he himself just ran a marathon. Levi waits a moment for the human to finish reciting the TSL excerpt. His hands begin to shake, his palms exuding profuse amounts of sweat. Gah! Why was he so nervous? Yeah, he’s aware that he’s just some gross shut-in otaku but he shouldn’t be this anxious! It’s not like this is the first time the exchange student has hung out in his room... alone... with him…

“Yo Levi?”

“Yes MC?”

“You think you could open the door now? Please?” Snapped back to reality, Levi hastily opened the door, finding himself regretting it soon after.

“I, uh, MC? What do you…?” his voice trailed off, orange gradient eyes locked on their garments. Immediately he sputtered, taking a step back. A bright scarlet coated his pale cheeks. Levi tried to hide it with his hand, though it was proven useless. The sea demon's at a toss up; should he screech? Slam the door shut? Combust all together!? At the rate he’s going, number three is looking pretty probable.

On the other end of this exchange, the human stood almost timidly out in the hall, fingers fiddling with one another while their eyes darted anywhere but at the man in front of them. The words of the fifth born rang in their ears:

“You absolutely have to wear this dear! My brother would surely fall head over heels for you, even more so than he already is!”

Oh whyyyyy did they trust him? Cause he had knowledge in fashion and love? Yeah, that was it. Still, if this turns south Asmo is going to get a lecture worse than any Lucifer could ever give… Damn, they really should’ve never let the lust demon shoo them into his private bathroom and make them change into this girly outfit. 

And it hit them all at once: Levi doesn’t like it, what they’re wearing. What if he never talks to them after this? Maybe if they leave now then there will still be a chance they can forget about this.

Time went on slowly, like people who walk through mud are, and MC just about tuck tail and ran, what they had planned and gained courage for be damned. 

Levi had other plans though. 

Only now registering that the two were standing out in the open for all to see, in a blind and desperate attempt to save himself and the human from embarrassment, the third born latched onto their wrist, yanking them into the safety of his room. Unfortunately, demon strength is a funny thing and Levi had handled them with more force than he meant to, the human crashing into his chest - hard. 

Perhaps it was instinct -- a need to protect the fragile being within his grasp -- but the demon's arm found purchase around their form, pulling them almost impossibly closer as they tipped. The pair, balance long gone, toppled over, landing with a thud.

Somehow, just like in all the romance anime he’s watched, Levi found himself hovering over them, arms propped on either side of their head. Their noses brushed, both staring frozen into each other's eyes. It wasn’t everyday that either of them were this close to one another, the exception being when the duo falls asleep playing video games. God, with this kind of proximity he was sure that the normie could hear how fast his meek heart was pounding. If this went on any longer he might actually die.

“Levi?” They whispered, their voice so quiet that he almost missed the call of his name. He however did catch their whisper and tensed up before coming back to the here and now, catching sight of the ‘what’ that led to their current position. Standing, Levi’s face burned hotter than ever before.

‘It was all because of them,’ he thought, turning away turning away with tense shoulders as he still tries to mask the red that licked all the way up to his ears. ‘It’s always their fault when I start to feel like I do now!’

“S-stupid n-normie! Why are you even wearing that?” he asked, chancing a glance over his shoulder. Levi did have to admit… they looked kinda cute in those clothes… and it looked like something Ruri-chan would wear too… 

Gah! No no no focus Levi!

The ‘normie’ didn’t answer right away, instead raising to their feet and opting to grab a bag from beside the door. That wasn’t there before. 

“Asmo…” they sighed, turning back to face the demon, nervousness swirling within them. Now or never, “Asmo said you’d like it if I wore something like this” So this is Asmo’s doing? Damn him… “Anyway, here, take it.”

“Wha-?” A shimmering gift bag the same colour of the water Henry his goldfish swam in was thrust into his hands, whatever he was about to say dying in his throat. 

A present? For him? Oh why must a no good otaku like him have to go through such an intimate endeavor???? He just can’t take it! 

Then again, this was like that one scene from season 2 ep. 22 of this anime he binged: I Forget Important Dates all the time which causes me to get into really awkward situations. This time I forgot about my Birthday and my Crush handed me a bag before confessing their love for me!

So-! Spurred on by fictional characters and MC’s urging “go on, open it”, Levi tore the tape, presented with his spontaneous gift: a popular multiplayer game from the human world; one near impossible to get in Devildom.

“WHAOOO!” MC couldn’t help but think how much he’s acting like a kid on Christmas, the notion cute in their opinion. The human stood still for a couple minutes, allowing their friend to rant and gush over the game (and how cool they were for even acquiring it).

“But…” the purple haired demon calmed down, “why did you suddenly give me this?” What? Did he not know what today was?

“It’s… it is your birthday isn’t it!?” Don’t tell them Asmo lied to them about Levi’s birthday!

Levi pulled out his phone, his eyes widening to the size of saucers, “No, it is my birthday,” he assured. With all the gaming he was doing he must've failed to noticed, which is strange considering the last time his special day drew near he practically counted down the days. 

“MC.” He got their attention, looking them right in the eye, his words and actions portraying a sureness and sincerity, “Thank you and…” As quick as lightning strikes the ground, the human had themselves pulled flush against Levi once more, his head resting on their shoulder and nose buried in the crook of their neck. His hair, so soft and fluffy, left a ticklish sensation on their skin.

“And about what you said before. With Asmo. I do like what you’re wearing but…” he tightens his hold, “I like you just the way you are. I know you don’t usually dress like this and I want nothing more than for you to be comfortable, like how you make me. If that means dressing tomboy-ish then so be it. I want you to be you: the human only you can be: my Henry.” 

“I’m glad you feel that way…” They smiled, arms wrapping around his torso. They hope their gratitude is able to shine through in the hug, “Now, ya wanna play your new game?”

“Yes!” He smiled, pulling back and raising his hand. They return the grin, suppressing a chuckle seeing as the demon reminded them of the YES demoji. “Oh, but um! Would you like to change first? It’s not that I don’t like seeing you dressed like that or anything but like I said I want you to be comfortable but also I don’t think my heart can take it anymore… wait that’s not what I meant!” That made them chuckle though.

“Do I have to?” They teased, enjoying the reaction they got out of the third born. Levi gulped, ducking his head while whispering a small no. “Then maybe I’ll stay like this a little longer. It is your birthday after all.” Tugging the envy demon towards their usual gaming spot they let Levi set up the game before the two plopped down in their spots.

“Oh and Levi?” He hummed, tilting his head, the light of the screen illuminating the side of his face. They hugged him once more, “Happy Birthday”

-------------------

[Masterlist]

Thank you for reading!

[toffee-hammer]

It’s been a fair while but I finally got around to the final part in my Eden questline playthrough. A bit longer than usual but I wanted to keep it all to one post.

Okay, I got my ass thoroughly handed to me but I managed to beat Mitron’s final form. Cool boss fight but wow is it a nightmare if you didn’t look up any of the mechanics first. Gonna be an expensive visit to my armour repair guy tonight. Anyway, looks like defeating Eden's Promise (probably one of the game’s weirder boss designs. Thanks Nomura) seems to have dropped Gaia straight into the void. That’s my bad.

Oh, turns out Mitron is here too. Looks like his body is coming apart like Emet-Selch’s did after our fight so I’m guessing that won’t be the case for much longer. Unlike Emet though, I’m not too broken up about it this time. Dude couldn’t take “no” for an answer right up until the end.

You’re kidding me. His real name was Artemis? Way to waste a good name on a goober you guys.

So Mitron said his piece and poofed but I guess that means Gaia is stuck in the void now? She tried walking a random direction for a while but got tired and decided to lay down on the floor. Relatable.

I guess I didn’t do the “protect Gaia’s memories” boss fight mechanic very well because she's still having trouble remembering things. The necklace she made for Ryne is doing a thing though.

Oh shit! Speak of the devil and she shall slice open a dimensional gateway with her father figure’s old gunblade!

Also, wow. I know I said it before but Gaia has it real bad.

Oh my god. So they literally did the FFVIII scene with Squall and Rinoa but with Gaia and Ryne instead. One of the most romantic scenes in the entire Final Fantasy series and they brought it back with the gigantic pride crystal right there in the shot. When people told me this was the gayest storyline in the game I kinda thought they were messing with me but here we are.

And as if that wasn’t enough Gaia hits Ryne with the same line her past self used on her ex. People who say these two are definitely just friends really are talking out of their asses aren’t they.

Seriously, I genuinely thought Ryne was gonna go for it for a second here. 

Varley’s just like “well, maybe next time”.

This has been such a productive series of daytrips you guys. Just a good time all round. Did you two know I duelled the embodiment of despair in an impossible space at the edge of the universe recently? Nevermind, this is your thing.

God, she’s so fucking precious. Gaia you’d best protect that smile with your life while I’m gone.

So yeah, with that I’ve finished every raid storyline in the game so far. I’m glad I saved this one until last because it’s definitely my favourite. Alexander was fun too but Eden takes the top spot for me. I was glad they gave Ryne a little more to do after the main Shadowbringers story was over and Gaia is a great new character. I’m really hoping these two turn up again when the MSQ swings back around to the First again.

Wishlist for Ryne the next time we see her:

1) Dating Gaia

2) Gunbreaker 

3) Somehow retained the ability to transform into Shiva like Zenos did with Shinryu but she’s able to control it

Feel free to pick two or more Squeenix.

[brattybookclub]

A BDSMer’s Perspective on THAT Open Heart Diamond Scene

*WARNING: Discussions of NSFW content and BDSM done properly and poorly*

Hi, this is Cath! A major area of interest to me is BDSM, and while I am still a newbie (sadly my journey into the BDSM community was halted due to the pandemic, but that aside, I’ve been doing research since I was a teenager), I was able to identify several problems with the Ethan scene, from a BDSM perspective. This is meant to criticize PB, as I feel that this shows arrogance on their part, and that they just saw the Chapters ad for “Hard To Master” and decided “Hey, we should do that too!” (This will be kind of long.)

Something I didn’t see much discussion on was the fact that towards the end of the scene, Ethan says, “I’ve just never met someone whose appetites could match my own.” Meaning, Ethan has ZERO hands on BDSM experience. And neither does MC. Most of my criticism comes from the fact that neither of them is actually experienced. Hell, I have more experience than they do, and I’m a college student who has to save up for my kink gear, including collars. Yes, a top can practice alone on themselves, but Ethan and MC do very little negotiation. Most of the communication is taking place during the kinky activities, which there’s nothing wrong with, that works for some people, but it seems like the safeword was just there for decoration, and the diamond scene doesn’t really live up to “dark passion”.

When I saw that the scene was in the chapter, obviously I did not buy it, but I was shocked and kind of upset because the way PB marketed the scene was that it was some dark taboo activity where Ethan lets out his inner beast. This isn’t the case. I’m going to start from the beginning here. The context is that Ethan has just demonstrated that he cannot be trusted to maintain the integrity of an important medical study that could lead to breakthroughs in the industry. He showed arrogance and disregard for ethics. This is the backdrop for him asking to dominate MC. Just based on that, MC should say no. BDSM can be an escape from a frustrating day, to regain or give up control, but if one of my partners was going to lose their job, I would not trust them to dominate me that day. If Ethan is in this bad of a headspace, he could hurt MC during their activities (and not in the fun way) and make it worse. Second, HE ASKS AT THEIR JOB, WHERE HE IS MC’S SUPERIOR. The ethics of boss/employee relationship aside, that is blind to the power dynamic built into their workplace. This is the only point PB gives you the choice to consent until later, during the activities. In my opinion, this fucks up the Consent aspect of Safe, Sane, and Consensual, while Ethan’s current headspace and his actions prevent it from being Sane.

I know so many people have said this before me, but the way Ethan says what he wants is probably the grossest way of saying that. “… I need to feel in control of myself… and of you.” Ethan, you are in control of yourself. And saying that he “needs” to feel in control of MC… No. No, no, no. Submission is a gift that you do not take lightly, and must be given voluntarily. You do not ask someone for it without discussion first. And there is no discussion of what MC’s submission style is? Is MC a service submissive, are they a brat, are they a little? What if MC is a top or likes to be dominant? Nor does Ethan discuss what style of dominance he is into. Now that I think about it, there’s not a lot of power exchange. But it’s not just a top/bottom style activity either… Does PB know that you can participate in kinky activities with no power exchange, and that you can do power exchange without pain? It feels like they’ve just lumped all of it together. This scene fails to have any sort of distinct identity. It smells of a couple trying to spice it up in the bedroom and only reading about BDSM off of Cosmopolitan and Buzzfeed, and not really knowing what they’re doing.

As soon as MC and Ethan get to his place, he decides to pour you both some scotch. NO. NO, NO, NO NO. I have been to a discussion amongst EXPERIENCED kinksters about whether dungeons or events should offer alcohol, and it’s controversial because things can go wrong in a PUBLIC kink setting. For inexperienced people, especially with how bad Ethan’s headspace is at this time, and the fact that he claimed he wanted to “feel in control” of MC and himself, he should NOT be touching any alcohol. And over the drinks, Ethan and MC can discuss the events of the day when they could be, I don’t know, talking about what they are about to do??? Because MC has no idea what Ethan’s intentions are, exactly. Later, Ethan gives MC choices for what they can do; either he ties them to the bed, spanks them, or he decides (on all the playthroughs I have seen, Ethan deciding leads to him spanking MC). But they are already in the kink scene. You know how you should never go grocery shopping hungry? Well, you shouldn’t make kinky decisions, especially as a newbie, when you’re horny. They could have used this time to discuss if either of them has experience, and I must repeat, you don’t find out that Ethan has none till after you two finish. Ethan doesn’t tell MC any risks of what they do; if they might be bruised by anything he does, or if something will hurt after they finish. This is not following RACK; Risk Aware Consensual Kink. MC is not able to give informed consent. There’s also no discussion of limits or pain tolerance and… good fucking lord, this is a setup for shit going wrong.

So anyway, after their discussion of the day’s events, and Ethan’s feelings, MC assures him that they don’t want tender (hey, PB… BDSM can be tender!!! Also affectionate, loving, and sweet!!!!) so Ethan gives them a leather body harness and tells them to meet him in the bedroom. My initial reaction was, “How did he have their size, and how did he have that on hand?” I did some research, a lot of body harnesses are adjustable. Still pretty weird that he just had a women’s body harness on hand with no experience. I mean the men’s kind of makes sense because maybe he’s a switch, and as far as the handcuffs and riding crop despite no experience go… a lot of people hoard adult toys without using them much in case they do get the chance.

After MC puts on the harness, they meet Ethan in the bedroom and he asks them to pick a safeword. The default is “Free Healthcare” which fucking sucks as a safeword. The universal safeword is usually “Red” because of the traffic light system. When telling MC not to shy away from using it, he says, “You’re in control just as much as I am.” Uhhh… Who’s gonna tell him that the submissive has all the control? They decide what they consent to. The dominant operates within that. Also the part about, “This isn’t just about giving me what I need… It’s also about giving you what you want.” Yes… but also no. The dominant does not “need” their partner’s submission. It’s them mutually wanting what the other is willing to give. Also the “need” vs “want” feels… icky. So, so, icky.

From there to the options Ethan gives MC isn’t bad. I’ve had at least one of those exchanges in real life because it doesn’t feel cringe in the moment. Since MC and Ethan didn’t negotiate before the scene, I guess Ethan giving MC two options of what he can do to them, or he will decide between the two options if they want him to, isn’t that bad. I just think it would have been much better had there been communication beforehand since MC hasn’t done anything like that before. Thankfully it’s opt-in as opposed to opt-out, because opt-in is recommended for partners who are new to each other.

“Tie me to the bed.” Option: Ethan will muse about whether he should do rope or handcuffs. Maybe he has practiced with rope alone in the past and knows what he’s doing… But MC does not know this!! Mercifully, he picks handcuffs. Thank god he uses leather cuffs. PB has used metal ones in the past and those have all sorts of safety issues if they are not double-locking. PB is super vague about the setup so I’m a little confused about how he can be going down on MC then pull the chains of the cuffs so their back is against the headboard?

“Spank me.”/ “Choose.” Options: Ethan will get a riding crop, which is not at ALL recommended for newbies. I’ve actually had a friend demo a riding crop on my back, when I was fully clothed, but newbies are usually advised to either a) start off with a plain open hand spanking or b) test out how the implement feels by having the receiving partner rate the pain from a scale of 1 to 10 so one can get a feel for their pain tolerance, and how it changes as they are spanked longer. In my experience, it’s important to start out lighter especially with newbies. AND YET. “The first smack of the crop against your bare skin almost ends the game before it’s started.” NO NO NO. STOP STOP STOP. MC can barely take the first hit??? The first one should not push you to your limit, especially when it’s your first time. You may be wondering if riding crops actually sting that much. They don’t have to. It depends how much force you use. Side note, it is important for the top to know what each toy they are using feels like. Whether that means bottoming or testing the toy out on themselves, this makes sure they maintain empathy for their bottom. Anyway, MC gets hit by the riding crop like twice before this option converges with the sex part of the diamond scene. Really PB? You couldn’t at least say that the swats “rained down” or something? Two super intense hits is no fun compared to less intense spankings that last longer. In fact, if you change toys for different sensations, you can usually last longer, since the area gets more sensitive as you go along.

Anyway the sex happens. Ethan says, “Tell me what you want.” Which creates the options:

“Safeword/Free Healthcare” (God PB that’s so cringey, I get it’s a medical drama but just use Red!!!) Option: It instantly stops, Ethan is concerned, MC assures him that they just know their limits, which, good for you MC!! It’s not easy to safeword even when you want/need to. Though, I raise an eyebrow at the fact that you can safeword during the actual sex, as opposed to being tied up or spanked. I would think those would be where a person would be more likely to need to use their safeword especially if they are new to these activities.

“Harder.” Option: Gets more intense after Ethan asks if MC is sure. Goes into Ethan trying some orgasm control. Yay. Don’t see why this whole scene couldn’t have just been rough/wild sex since I’m pretty sure PB has done that before.

“Just like that…” Option: I think we can all guess what happens here.

I’m gonna fast forward through the rest of the sexcapades because there’s nothing interesting or worth critiquing. Safewording makes sure you skip all the rest of the scene and then it’s MC and Ethan in bed, him holding MC. I don’t want to say, “PB didn’t include aftercare!!” because cuddling is a lot of people’s aftercare, but I wish they’d talked about it more. Like Ethan asking if MC needed water or get out of the body harness, or some lotion or aloe vera for their butt if they got spanked. Or him checking their wrists if they got tied up. These are important things for aftercare, and while not everyone needs aftercare for every kind of activity, it’s important to talk about ahead of time, or communicate after the activity. Aftercare helps both parties come down gently from a high that you can easily just have an unpleasant drop from. I’ve gotten emotional after impact play. Some people feel guilt for inflicting pain on someone. Aftercare is necessary for the dominant or top as much as it is for the bottom or submissive, and I wish PB was as good about including that concept as they were about the safeword.

Anyway while they’re cuddling, MC and Ethan have the conversation where it leads to Ethan saying he’s never met anyone whose appetites match his own. While this might be acceptable for someone who lives in a small town… Ethan lives in Boston, Massachusetts. When looking up BDSM dungeons in Boston, I found two dominatrixes, and like three pages that talk about possible BDSM groups. And that’s not even checking on fetlife. Ethan simply didn’t want to look for like-minded people, and that’s on him. He could have found classes to help him learn how to do everything properly and safely, and maybe some friends. More people are kinky than you think!!! People in the community love it when new people join the community and express a desire to learn.

MC spends the night, and in the morning their sprite is STILL wearing the body harness. PB THOSE CANNOT BE COMFORTABLE. Like especially if it’s as fitted as they describe, how can MC still be wearing it?? Especially with them sweating on the leather??? Not going to lie, I laughed when I saw that oversight.

And that’s the end of the scene. Alright. The scene is not good. But it’s not Fifty Shades of Grey bad. I get the jokes and the comparisons, and while PB is arrogant, much like EL James, PB isn’t THAT bad. MC is clearly into the BDSM, which Anna clearly was not in 50 Shades. PB did a little bit of research, but I find it pretty obvious that aside from dirty talk, they have almost no experience actually getting into kinky activities, nor do they participate in the community.

I really hate how they acted like, “Ethan’s in dark mood…” but didn’t commit to that. Also how they didn’t really commit to portraying BDSM accurately. It’s kinky looking if you aren’t in the kink community, but to me, it’s vanilla pretending to be edgy and kinky. PB didn’t really commit one way or the other. They seemed to just use some iconography (excluding collars, surprisingly… that’s really easy to add??) and a little bit of kink, then set it aside and called it a day. This seemed to be there for the shock value. Going into the scene, I felt like SCC was being broken, but in the midst of the scene was a very different tone from what PB was acting like was going to happen. Ethan felt very different going into the scene as opposed to during it. I feel like this is what happens when you have to market kink to a mostly vanilla audience. Anyway, if you want a really great educational youtube channel, Evie Lupine is doing the lord’s work as a BDSM educator. Thank you for reading this 2500+ word rant from a kinky nerd.

[bagadew]

The Great Ace Attorney Playthrough: The Adventure of the Runaway Room (Part 1b)

Last time: We (and by we I mean Ryunosuke and Susato) arrived in England, and were almost immediately sent to play lawyer by Daemon Gant’s ancestor, who is definitely going to either die or kill someone later. Despite our client being only the richest of able bodied white men, we quickly found ourselves on the ropes thanks to the worlds least impartial jury. Fortunately we now get to put the buggers on the spot and demand they give us their reasons for convicting my client (and boy had they better be good).

Ryunosuke, the more we learn about that man the more of a cad he becomes. I say we should be very thankful we aren’t doing that.

Let me get this straight, instead of smashing their half baked ideas to smithereens and laughing as I go, I have to use the worlds weakest bricks to build my argument.

Susato, one of them knows one of the witnesses.

Oh, so that’s what we’re doing.

Ok, Ryunosuke, lets get shit stirring!

Well firstly, either the drunk juror’s wrong or Beppo’s overcharging people, so jot that down.

Ooh, we’re pacing!

(Also, I’d like to thank Juror No.4 for backing me up, ma’am you are the only member of this group bothering to make even the slightest bit of effort. For this I thank you.)

Of course! Thank you for putting two and two together like that for me!

(Wait a second, I’ve just realized that we’ve got the KBS slung on our hip! That’s amazing!)

And this lady’s and gentleman, is why we don’t let people who know those involved stand on the Jury.

GET HIS ASS JUROR NO.4!

(You are my favourite juror, you can tell the others if you’d like.)

Excellent work Ryunosuke!

Have you not even been listening?

(Susato is explaining the last ten minutes to him because she has more patience than I ever will.)

>:D

And Juror No.2’s crossed over to our side as well!

>:D

And she’s doing it for much better reasons than Juror No.5!

Juror No.2 you’re winning me back!

Just two more jurors to convince now, so let’s go on to the discrepancy about how the victim was stabbed, and maybe point out that the body was left in the seat it was stabbed it.

Old Lady vs Jack the Ripper, here we go!

(Ten guineas on the granny!)

Haha! His knife got stuck in the table!

(I put it again that this man should have that knife taken away from him.)

Yes judge, and if we’d been allowed to go through the whole trial before the jurors jumped the gun, you’d have known that already.

Yay! We’ve won Granny Thickle back!

WHAT DO YOU THINK THE JURY IS SUPPOSED TO DO YOU NINCOMPOOP?!?

And he’s being really racist now.

Fortunately he’s also rubbing the rest of the jury up the wrong way!

Well I consider this to have been a success Ryunosuke.

Well given that the body was found on the seat and there was no blood on the floor... I’m going to say no.

He wants evidence.

Ok then.

As a wise man with a cool sword once said: I will shove it down your throat and make you choke on it.

(Yeah, we should really have seen Kazuma’s moral dubiousness coming...)

Anyways, let’s show him the crime scene photo then.

WRONG???

Of course! The autopsy report shows he was only stabbed once!!!

Meaning that there was only one incident where the witness was stabbed!

VICTORY VICTORY VICTORY!!!

YEAH!!!

Yes, kill each other!

My Lord, Juror No.3 has started licking his knife and threatening the witnesses now...

I’m a little bummed we didn’t get to convince Juror No.4 seeing as she’s the one putting in the hours up there, but never mind. We’re back on track baby!

HE CRUSHED IT!

Oh my god Ryunosuke, we’ve got a prosecution shut up button!

HE THREW OF HIS DRACULA CLOAK!

Oh please, we all know perjury doesn’t exist in this here!

Oho, so apparently Beppo’s been overcharging his customers. Given the conditions he’s been working in I can’t exactly blame him though.

Unfortunately that does kind of rule out the possibility of an extra passenger though, so I’m not sure it helped us much.

Damn right I do!

‘Absolutely’ Ryunosuke and I share one mind.

Now let’s see if we can clear up that whole ‘I saw the victim stabbed on the floor’ bs.

You know, I’m rapidly warming to Mr Furst. Unlike the other witnesses and the god damn jury, he’s not telling lies, or overinflated by his own self importance. He’s actually taking it seriously and doing his best to be as clear and close to factual as he can.

I mean he could well be the killer for all I know, but right now I’m just enjoying him as a nice gentle guy who’s trying his best. It’s refreshing.

Barok’s trying to point out that we still have one witness who saw the stabbing, to which I say: Yeah, a witness with a reason to lie!

Still, Beppo’s the one I should probably be focusing on here, as he’s saying he saw the victim stabbed in places he couldn’t have been.

Well that was easy.

Mr Fairplay on the other hand is going absolutely ham on his cane.

What’s the matter Mr Fairplay?

Got something to say?

Again Mr Fairplay, being a banker in an Ace Attorney Game is not the commending statement you think it is.

Anyways new statement time!

And what’s this I see? Both his hands were covered in blood? That looks like a new contradiction to me!

You know he’s weirdly insistent about this, and I can’t work out why?

Like, regardless of whether or not he committed the murder, he’s clearly hoping that Mr McGilded’s going to be taken out of the picture as a result.

But if he wants that to happen then this is such a weird thing to lie about. It doesn’t add in any way to Mr McGilded’s ‘guilt’, in fact thanks to his gloves it kind of does the opposite.

But if he’s not lying then he has to be mistaken and I don’t understand what that would mean either.

Wow, Juror No.6 is ready to throw down!

(Juror No.3’s going off as well, but I don’t think that’s anything to write home about.)

NOT IN THE WAY HE REPEATEDLY SAID IT WAS!

I’m no longer so sure. After all, if he was it would be far more in his interest to keep quiet about it or say he was mistaken as soon as we bought the gloves out.

What I’m beginning to wonder though, is if there was a mysterious fifth passenger after all, and their hands were the ones Mr Fairplay saw covered in blood.

Come to think of it, he did say that he didn’t see the victim or killers faces, so that’s a good chance, and one that actually gives some hint as to what our suspect looks like: i.e. small.

Debt time.

IT’S A HUGE DEBT!!!

Good to get proper conformation on that theory then.

ORDAAR!

(If you don’t know about the House of Commons cry of Order you should look it up on YouTube. It’s basically the one good thing to have come out of that place.)

So he did lie about seeing the moment the victim was stabbed then. I guess that leave more room for the idea that the fifth passenger did it.

Actually, come to think of it did Mr McGilded ever tell us where he went to sit in the carriage? Could he have been on the open side, the one Mr Fairplay and Mr Furst couldn’t see from where they were?

Huh, he’s still doubling down.

Again I really don’t think he’s lying here, but I do think he’s mistaken about who’s hands he could see.

Also given how much this statement relies on him being a witness I should probably rule him out of my enquires.

I’m rapidly going back over my notes to see if I ever accused him, but let’s be honest here I did. The False Accusations counter is up to a nice healthy 5/5.

Of course Mr Furst, you’re an angle and we’re all thrilled you’re here.

Ok, well now any doubts I had that Mr Fairplay was telling the truth have been put to rest, thank you Mr Furst. You, me and Susato should form our own breakaway courtroom, Juror No.4 can come if she likes.

Anyway time for more testimony.

Certainly looks that way doesn’t it My Lord?

Now Barok want’s to examine the Omnibus again.

You know what, sure Barok, knock yourself out.

Barok, keep up. It literally a huge contradiction sitting right there.

YES IT MATTERS!!!

Well thanks to Mr Furst, the one good witness, we know that the real killer wasn’t wearing any gloves. Again Mr Furst I thank you.

Wait a second, there was a space under the seat opposite the victim wasn’t there. I know it was full of stuff but was there any room for someone to fit themselves?

Barok’s telling me that there was no trace of blood on Mr McGilded’s actual hands. I’m glad you’ve finally caught up Barok but stop talking now so I can examine the omnibus again.

Yes! A space!

And whoever it was who could fit inside there definitely fits the category of small!

And right on cue it’s time to bring their blind spot to light.

Now, I need to work out if they want to know about the space under the seats or if they just want the seats themselves, because from where Mr Furst and Mr Fairplay were sitting they couldn’t see either.

Fuck it, I’ll just put my cursor half way between the two and hopefully it’ll except whichever one it wants.

Haha, yes... exactly what I was going to say...

MY EVIDENCE IS THE FUCKING BLOODIED GLOVES!!!

Anyways, given that the killer was by all accounts sitting next to the victim with no gloves and bloodied hands, the only person who could have been in the concealed seat was Mr McGilded. Again, did anyone actually bother to check which seat he sat in?

Well done Judge. Still as sharp as ever I see.

Wow, that one hit the light!

Barok, that’s alcohol. If you start a fire in here I’m not going to put you out.

Oh he’s being racist again.

Racist stuff Ryunosuke.

Ok, well let me brake this down into words that a stuck up prick like you would understand. The witnesses never saw the attackers face, but they did see his hands and all agree that they were covered in blood. My clients hands were not covered in blood, and therefor he doesn’t fit the one thing we know about the killer. However we know he was on the omnibus, and the only place he could have been is in the seat that can’t be seen.

... you guys, I think this man might be the OG “protégé” prosecutor. Hugh O’Connor and Sebastian Debeste were simply trending in this mans footsteps.

I’m not really sure how much clearer you want me to be My Lord!

(Also ORDAAAAR!)

Van Zieks is still crawling blindly towards the light, and I suggest we just move on without him.

I know (or at least I hope) he’s just deliberately putting up barriers as the prosecution, but the way he’s doing it really looks like he’s packing his intelligence onto a bus and sending it out to destinations unknown.

(Credit to Ryunosuke for spelling it out for him though.)

Thank you Mr Furst, I knew you’d have my back.

THEN LET’S BRING HIM INTO COURT!!!

(ORDAAARR!!!)

Yeah on what grounds?

I mean this is literally the solution to all our problems.

Yeah, well he probably lied (though I can’t work out why).

Excellent point Ryunosuke!

Now Van Zieks is pointing out that if Mr McGilded lied in his statement there would have been a deliberate reason for doing so. To be honest, as the prosecution, this seems like all the more reason to bring him in.

Anyway we’re demanding his testimony.

WHY THE HELL ARE WE ASKING THEM?!?

Well luckily for us the jury seems to finally be getting its arse in gear and has agreed (fairly unanimously) to let the god damn defendant make a statement in his own murder trial.

Nothing to say here. This just feels like a meme.

HAHA!!! THERE WAS SOMEONE!!!

EAT MY SHIT BAROK!!!

Wait an urchin?

Ace Attorney, I’ve already had a ‘don’t feel good’ case regarding who I’m accusing, don’t make me do that again.

STOP MAKING ME ACCUSE POOR AND FRIGHTENED CHILDREN!

Yeah, they probably would have done, and unlike you I don’t think she’d have been able to pull the ‘I donated a park to this city you know’ trick to win hearts and minds.

I wonder if she was there as a passenger or as a stowaway? Because I’d say that gap under the seat could fit a child pretty easily.

Now Barok’s saying we have no reason to believe Mr McGilded. And he’s right except for, you know, all the evidence...

Wait what.

A smoke bomb just went off!

I really don’t like the face Mr McGilded pulled just then, and he definitely gave a signal for it to be dropped.

...Ah fuck, he’s guilty isn’t he.

And he’s using some kid to cover it up.

Well shit...

[aalissy]

Game Night

Day 3 is done! This does contain spoilers for Truth so if you haven’t seen that episode yet please do before reading this!! That being said I need more reveals like this hehe. Anywho, I hope you enjoy <3 <3

AO3

About to enter her first class of the day, Marinette was paused in her tracks by an arm yanking on hers. She let out a startled yelp as she was dragged away from the classroom door before she turned around and met the wide eyes of Alya. With a small scowl, Marinette rubbed on her arm after her best friend let her go. Giving a small huff, she pouted, “What was that for? For the first time ever I’m on time to class and now we’re going to be late!”

“I need to speak to you,” her friend said urgently, a look of regret entering into her hazel eyes.

Marinette nodded quickly, “Ok. Is something wrong?”

“Kind of,” Alya ran a hand through her hair frustratedly, “I know we haven’t been able to hang out as much because you’ve been busy with the bakery and homework. I mean, that’s why we set up the games night later because you, me, Adrien, and Nino are all finally free today.”

“Oh no,” she sighed quietly, “Can you guys not make it?”

Alya glanced away before meeting Marinette’s gaze once again, “Well, here’s the thing... Nino and I can’t come because I suddenly got swamped with babysitting the twins and he got grounded after we got our exams back. But, Adrien’s still free.”

“I don’t know, Alya,” Marinette murmured, her eyes glancing down at the floor as she nibbled on her lip, “It’s not going to be as much fun without you and Nino and I still have a lot of work to catch up on anyway. Don’t you think I should just cancel and reschedule for a different time?”

“No way, girl!” She spoke decisively, “You’re almost never free and you’ve been absent from all of our recent meetings! You need to have some relaxation time.”

Marinette shifted uncomfortably, “But it would be just me and Adrien. You know I’m still working on just being his friend and Luka and I broke up not that long ago.”

“Which is why you should totally do this!” Alya gave her a wide smile, reaching out to squeeze her shoulders tightly, “Prove to yourself that you really can be a great friend to him. And besides, it’s not like you and Adrien have never played video games together alone before.”

She giggled, shaking her head amusedly at her friend, “Alright, I’ll do it. But only because you’re right. I really do need to spend some time with friends. I swear I’m going to die from stress alone.”

“I don’t know how you do it girl,” Alya bumped her shoulder with hers playfully as they began to walk back to their classroom.

“Me neither,” Marinette sighed quietly to herself. Sliding into her seat, however, she turned back to Alya, “We are definitely going to need to find another time where it can be all four of us though.”

Alya nodded her head quickly, “Oh, of course! I’ve finally learned a few tricks in Ultimate Mecha Strike III that I think might let me win a few rounds against you.”

“Psh, good luck with that!” Marinette snickered quietly to herself before their teacher entered the classroom and began her lesson.

Listening to her lectures that day was a lot more difficult. Half of her thoughts were still stuck on whether or not she would be able to handle acting like she was just a friend to Adrien. The other half of her thoughts were plotting. Where she’d go if there was an akuma attack, how she was going to keep the miracle box away from Adrien’s sight, and how to keep the kwamis quiet during their playthroughs.

Marinette still scribbled down notes, of course, but every so often she would glance out the window during her lectures, certain that there would be another akuma attack to ruin her day. Her leg jostled restlessly throughout the entire day, hoping that Hawkmoth would send it before her game night with Adrien.

No akuma came, however, and Marinette was left to sigh silently to herself as she trudged out of the classroom, positive that Hawkmoth was just delaying the inevitable. The warm sunlight that beamed down upon her face when she stepped outside didn’t do much to lighten her mood. She was about to begin her walk to the bakery when a hand touched her shoulder.

With a startled yelp, Marinette whirled around, meeting the wide, green, sheepish eyes of Adrien Agreste. He gave her a crooked smile before rubbing the back of his neck, “Sorry, Marinette. I couldn’t help but notice though that you looked down. Is something wrong?”

“No, no, I’m fine!” She panted out, a hand on her chest as she attempted to calm her racing heart rate. Feeling awkward, she tugged on her backpack straps, “W-well, I mean, I am kind of upset that Nino and Alya can’t make our games night. Did you hear?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “Nino told me, and actually that’s what I came over to talk to you about.”

Marinette felt a relieved smile form on her face. He was going to cancel too, wasn’t he? Good, that meant she could spend more time preparing for Hawkmoth’s akuma. She ignored the brush of disappointment that she felt over yet another missed opportunity to spend time with friends and opened her mouth to tell him she was fine with him canceling.

He stopped her before she could, though, beaming down excitedly at her, “Do you mind if I go home first and drop my stuff off before meeting you at the bakery?”

Oh. Marinette blinked a few times. He wasn’t canceling on her. Happiness filled her as a small smile formed on her face. Hawkmoth and her duties as Ladybug could wait for one afternoon then. Alya was right, she really needed a night out with friends.

Her smile grew wider and more teasing as she nodded, “Of course not, Adrien. Take all the time you need before you come over and get absolutely destroyed.”

“Hey!” he said mock-offendedly, “I’ll have you know that I’ve gotten a lot better since the last time we played against each other. Who knows, I might even surprise you.”

Adrien gave her a playful wink and she quickly shoved down the flurry of butterflies she felt begin to swirl around her stomach. No! They were friends. Just friends.

“Good luck then,” Marinette laughed, “I’m looking forward to those new tricks you have up your sleeve.”

Adrien chuckled with her before giving her a quick wave, “See you soon then, Marinette.”

“See you soon, Adrien,” she gave a small nod, the beginnings of a dreamy smile forming on her lips before she pursed them, scolding herself internally. Turning around, she began to head towards the bakery. As she got farther and farther away from him, though, Marinette began to sink deeper into her thoughts once again. Unable to stop herself, she looked around for any signs of a familiar, black butterfly.

Funny how Chat and Adrien were the only two who could manage to take her mind off of everything. Looking behind her, Marinette managed to catch a glimpse of the black limo slowly pulling away from the school. Taking a deep breath, she attempted to calm herself down as anxiety and stress ate away at her.

I can do this, she thought to herself, I have a plan and I’m ready for anything Hawkmoth sends my way. With those last determined thoughts, Marinette turned decisively back to the bakery and continued her trek home.

Saying hello to her parents when she finally arrived, she quickly made her way to her room. Once there, she ran over to where she hid the Miracle Box, checking to make certain that it was still hidden. Breathing out a sigh of relief when it was, Marinette collapsed into her desk chair. She sent a small, lonely glance at the other three chairs that she had set up earlier this morning. Pushing herself up, she began slowly moving two of them out of the way.

“Next time,” she murmured to herself before standing up straight with a long stretch. Marinette yawned quietly as she looked outside her window anxiously. She’d know if an akuma began to attack Paris, right? I mean, there was no way she’d get too swept up in her night with Adrien that she’d miss an akuma attack.

Nibbling on her lip, her thoughts strayed even further. What if she did make it to the battle too late? What if one day she wasn’t there and Chat got hurt. Marinette’s lip wobbled as a lump settled in her throat. This was such a bad idea! What had she been thinking?! She didn’t have time to goof off. There was only Ladybug and saving Paris.

Her eyes shot over to the hidden Miracle Box before a voice shouted close to her ear, “Boo!”

Jumping into the air, Marinette yelped for the third time that day. Forgetting where she was, she reached behind her, grabbing onto something before throwing it over her shoulder with all her strength. Her blue eyes widened as she saw everything happen in slow motion. It was Adrien whom she just threw over her shoulder.

In that split second where he was falling, however, Marinette would have sworn that she saw another familiar, blonde boy flying through the air. Instinctively, she reached for the yo-yo at her side, only for her hand to wrap around nothing. Instead, she could do nothing to stop Adrien’s crash as he hit the ground. Wincing as she heard him groan quietly, Marinette quickly rushed over to him.

All of her previous fears and anxiety were completely gone as she peered down at him in worry. A stunned look was in his emerald green eyes as he looked up at her. Crouching down, she spoke panickedly as she looked for any broken bones, “Oh my god, Adrien are you alright?! Did I hurt you?!”

“No,” he wheezed out, “Besides, it was my fault for scaring you.”

Marinette leaned back as he slowly began to sit up. She examined his face and body worriedly as she gnawed on her lower lip, “A-are you sure? That was a pretty nasty fall.”

Adrien rubbed the back of his head as he chuckled lightly, “Yeah, I’m okay. I think I’m getting used to it now.”

They both froze, blinking at each other slowly. Neither spoke as they sat in a tense silence. Surely not, Marinette thought to herself as her brow furrowed. Attempting to brush off the tension that had suddenly entered the small room, she stood up. Brushing herself off, she offered a hand down to Adrien, “I-I’m still really sorry about that, Adrien. I-I didn’t mean to throw you at all, I just didn’t notice you come in.”

Instead of taking her hand, he continued to stare up at her for a few seconds, a small furrow between his eyebrows as he looked up at her. It was only when she managed to tear her eyes away from his piercing gaze, shifting uncomfortably that Adrien took her hand, using it to pull himself up.

With a small gulp, Marinette looked back towards him. He was smiling and relief filled her as she realized she hadn’t completely broken him. Giving him a small grin back, she motioned her head towards her computer, “D-do you want to play now or should I see if I can get you some painkillers.”

“No, I’m fine,” Adrien shook his head, the smile still on his lips, “I think I’m ready to get ‘destroyed by you now.’” He laughed as he copied her words from earlier.

Marinette’s face flushed as she quickly turned to the computer. Logging into the game, she handed him the controller silently. He took it from her with another small, grateful smile.

As they began to play a round together, she lost herself in the motion of the game. Her fingers moved automatically over the controller as she tried to brush the wave of familiarity screaming at her away. Like she had predicted before, she won easily. Too easily. Adrien’s movements were jerky and disjointed and Marinette shot him a suspicious glare.

“Where were those fancy moves you promised me earlier?” She raised an eyebrow at him, “Those were worse than usual, Adrien.”

“Sorry, sorry,” he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck, “I think I’m still a little dizzy after that fall.”

Immediately, her face fell. Standing up, Marinette put her controller down, “I knew you needed painkillers. I’m so sorry for making you play with me, Adrien. Maybe you should go home and rest.”

“No!” he practically shouted, grabbing onto her wrist as she turned to scramble her way downstairs. Her mouth fell open in shock, staring at him in bewildered confusion after his latest outburst. Adrien blushed and then spoke in a softer tone, “I-I mean, no. I’m fine, I promise.”

Marinette huffed with a small amount of frustration, “Adrien, you just told me you got dizzy playing a game. You’re not okay! I’ll be right bac-”

“Where did you learn how to do that?” He cut her off, staring at her intensely.

Her jaw dropped open once again, eyes moving from his down to the hand still holding her wrist before she looked away from him completely. I’m a superhero and I go gallivanting around saving the city, Marinette thought to herself as her lips twitched slightly.

Bringing her gaze back to his, she cleared her throat, “W-well, um, I-I take, uh self-defense! Yeah, self-defense!”

“Really?” Adrien asked as a knowing grin began to spread across his face.

Once again, Marinette felt a wave of familiarity before she shook herself from those thoughts. Nodding her head quickly, she gave a wide, awkward smile, “Really. S-so, c-can I go get you some painkillers now.”

“No,” he spoke simply, squeezing her wrist before he stood up, looking down at her with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, “I feel completely fine now.”

“But you just said...” She trailed off, frowning with confusion.

“Seriously, Marinette, don’t worry. I told you I’m used to it by now,” Adrien shrugged, a soft smile on his lips.

She giggled uncomfortably, glancing away from him and his sparkling eyes. It felt like something was on the tip of her tongue. Something important that she should know but just couldn’t connect. Shifting uncomfortably, Marinette murmured, “You make it sound like you get thrown around by girls often.”

“Hmm,” Adrien hummed, tilting his head as he considered her words, “Maybe not often. But it is weird that it’s happened twice now.”

Marinette snapped her gaze back to his, her eyes narrowing as a spark of something flared up within her, “Then maybe you should stop sneaking up and scaring people.”

She blinked a few times, her hand coming to press against her lips. Why had she just said that? Opening her mouth to apologize for essentially blaming him after she was the one who flipped him, Marinette was cut off by Adrien wrapping her up in a giant hug.

“It is you,” he whispered softly in her ear.

For a brief moment, she tensed up before everything clicked. Oh. Everything made sense now. Of course, her kitty was Adrien. Marinette reached up to hug him back just as tightly before she buried her head in his shoulder.

“Chaton,” she murmured softly, nuzzling into him as she felt his warmth seep into her. Every last worry that she had melted away as she realized she had someone else she could confide in now.

“M’lady,” Adrien spoke quietly back, causing her to sniffle happily.

Eventually, they both pulled back, staring back at each other with wide, adoring smiles fixed on their faces. Just as Adrien opened his mouth to speak, a crash sounded outside on the streets. Both of their gazes snapped to the window before they looked back at each other. A silent understanding filled them both as they nodded at each other.

“Later,” Marinette spoke first, before calling on her transformation. Adrien did the same and she felt relief fill her as she felt less alone for the first time in so long. She could do this. With him by her side, she could do anything.

[queen-of-bel]

finally gonna write up my thoughts on lost judgment now that i’ve finished everything and had some time to digest it all

putting under a cut bc this is gonna be long, even by my usual ramble-y standards

As always, bad first before good, but my nits/complaints with LJ are... mostly minor, I’m gonna be honest. 

I do wish that there were more dynamic intros for bosses. The ones that we did get were absolutely amazing, so it’s not like RGG can’t do it. I’m not sure why they skimped out on dynamic intros for this game, but that was a bit disappointing, not gonna lie.

Also, does anyone want to tell me why an action/beat em up style game somehow managed to make their BOXING minigame the least fun of them all? Like good lord, you really would’ve assumed that making boxing fun would’ve been a cakewalk for them.

And speaking of poorly balanced things, the Amon fight was underwhelmingly easy. I’ve always LOVED the Amon fights in these games bc they absolutely kick my ass and I have so much fun with them. This one, though? I beat it second attempt on hard without even really trying too much. I remember afterwards just thinking “is that it?” So yeah. That was kind of a bummer.

Probably my most substantial complaint I have tho is how much of a backseat the first game’s characters/plot took. I know that RGG said you don’t need to play the first game in order to play LJ, but... come on. It’s a sequel. Who cares about spoiling the first game? I really would’ve LOVED to see what Okubo or Hamura are up to now. Or to hear Sugiura’s thoughts on Sawa’s death since it mirrored his own sisters’ murder in so many ways.

Still, I can’t say that this really bothered me too much, because...

The good

Holy shit. The characters in LJ just... I’m not gonna lie. I kinda like these characters a bit more than the first cast. I still love everyone from the first game dearly, but I felt like LJ’s writing was a significant step up from the first game, and that really helped their character writing.

I feel like Judgment suffered from poor pacing at times in the first few chapters. It’s not always clear which way the story is going to go-- there’s some weird shoe-horned in drama with Kaito/Adachi, and making the player discover the truth about Higashi’s past so early on in the game also felt a bit out of left field. I remember just like “lmao i don’t even know this dude who cares?” Once the ball started rolling, though, the game is phenomenal.

But this is my review of LJ, not it’s predecessor.

Anyway, I feel like LJ didn’t have any of those pacing issues. It just throws you into the madness and does not stop. It was nice that nearly NONE of the side content was mandatory, so it just felt like I was able to be fully immersed in the story and not get distracted with having to do like... drone racing or things like that.

And god was that story amazing. There are few times that I’ve genuinely cried at a video game, and I’m not ashamed to admit that this was one of them.

Regarding the story themes of bullying and how it’s handled... Even though I feel that was absolutely the strongest part of LJ, I... actually don’t want to dive into it too much in this post. If anyone has been keeping up with my playthrough tag, they can piece together how I feel about it. It just... mirrored a lot of what had happened in my own past and at times, the game became almost too difficult to play. Not in a bad way, but the game hit close to home a lot and that made me sympathize with Kuwana probably more than is socially acceptable to LOL

Speaking of Kuwana, can I just take some time to gush about his character? When he first was introduced I rolled my eyes at how boring he seemed but holy fuck, I take that ALL back. I’ve written more about how I feel about Kuwana here, but this man is easily my favorite RGG character now.

His motives, his sense of justice, how he executes that justice... Christ. I’ve always been partial to the “vigilante killer who recognizes that he’s on the wrong path” trope anyway, but Kuwana just blows them out of the water. When you see how he actively attempts to make amends for what he did, it’s so hard to blame him. 

Even when Reiko betrays him, he harbors no grudge over it. He feels that it’s his fault Mitsuru tried to kill himself, and that Reiko has every right to do whatever she wants, even at the expense of his own wellbeing. The only thing that Kuwana cares about is making sure that her secret never gets out.

He doesn’t sweep Sawa’s death under the rug, either. His original plan was to get Soma out alive and convicted for her murder. This was his way of trying to make it up to Sawa. But if that plan failed, he had a failproof plan B where he would do what he does best. 

When all else fails, and he’s watching these people walk away unscathed, with nothing weighing them down and nobody to judge them, he strikes. He takes matters into his own hands, and that’s exactly what he was planning on doing with Soma. If he couldn’t get Soma out alive to get justice for Sawa’s death, then he’ll kill Soma and destroy Shinya’s body, forever securing the freedom Reiko so desperately needs if she wants to remain reunited with her son.

But of course, this sense of justice that Kuwana has isn’t without flaw. While it’s so easy to want to root for him because man, fuck Shinya, Yui, and Mikoshiba. They’re all pieces of shit-- who cares what happens to them? Kuwana doesn’t... really have an end goal. He says he’ll keep doing this if it means that he can prevent another incident like Mitsuru’s suicide attempt, but he literally has no answer as to how his actions can prevent that. Everything he’s done has always been reactive, never preventative. And while it’s satisfying to see someone get their comeuppance, how exactly is this supposed to fix anything on a larger, societal scale? Maybe people will start to get wind that former bullies are being murdered as adults, but the incidents are scattered over such a long period of time that clearly nobody has been connecting the dots. He can keep doing what he’s doing, but there’s inevitably going to be another innocent person like Sawa dragged into the mix.

Enter Yagami and his own sense of justice.

I’ve seen people complain that Yagami relies too heavily on Sawa’s death to get his point across, but I don’t... really agree. To me, it didn’t feel so much as that Yagami was using Sawa’s death to convince Kuwana that his sense of justice was wrong, but moreso that Yagami needed to remind himself that Kuwana’s justice isn’t right. It’s so easy to just be like “oh cool, Kuwana, keep doing your thing.” but he needs to remind himself that Kuwana’s methods are not without collateral damage.

You know, but even then, when Yagami says that someone needs to stand up Sawa because she can’t speak for herself anymore, Kuwana can turn around and say the exact same thing about Toshiro and the other kids who killed themselves.

I think this back and forth really gets into the heart of why this was such a good moral dilemma, and why Yagami and Kuwana are such good foils for each other.

They don’t hate each other at all. In fact, they’re desperately trying to find a solution that caters to both of their morals. Neither are fully satisfied with the results that their convictions will bring, and god damn it if there's a way they can combine the best of both worlds they're gonna do it. But they both know that's not possible so what ends up happening is just a bitter fight full of despair-- two men putting everything on the line to fight for what they truly believe in.

There are very few times where the prospect of a boss fight gutted me and I’m not ashamed to admit that I teared up during the buildup of the Kuwana fight. I predicted earlier on that he would be the final boss, but after hearing his plea to keep Reiko and Mitsuru together... I really, really did not want to fight him.

Speaking of, I didn’t think it would be possible for me to cry over a character that had about 2 minutes of screentime, but Mitsuru Kusumoto... you have my entire heart. To be honest, when Reiko stood up and said that it’s time to end this, I had a mini heart attack because I thought she meant that she was going to pull the plug. I’m so happy to see that he woke up, but it’s heartbreaking to think about what his life is going to be from now on. He’s lost the only two people that supported him while he was in a coma, and now, he’s not only going to have to deal with the fallout of what Reiko did, but he has to navigate a world that went on for thirteen years without him all by himself.

Anyway, I’m still undecided on where I actually stand on the Kuwana vs. Yagami debate. It’s so easy to (half) joke online and be like “Oh, Kuwana did nothing wrong”, but if I stop and ask myself if I really feel that way... I certainly lean more Kuwana than Yagami, but it doesn’t really sit right with me. I think this exchange between Higashi and Sugiura sums up my thoughts:

I suppose that’s the whole point, because even Kuwana feels that way about his own actions, saying that he’d be too ashamed to face Sawa in the afterlife. But then again, Ehara has a point when he says that GOD knows how long it’ll take for the system to do any type of change to hold bullies accountable for their actions.

So while I’m on the topic of Ehara...

His character really blew me away. He didn’t have a ton of screentime, but the time that he did have really stole the show. This line of his in particular really stood out to me, and strikes at the heart of why Yagami’s and Saori’s arguments are flawed.

I feel like it’s a more refreshing take on vigilantism. The focus is a lot less on punishing those who deserve it, and moreso on taking a stand for those who have been utterly abandoned. It’s a slightly more nuanced stance that I really appreciate. I feel that often times, vigilante characters are those who are either don’t have patience with the system, or view themselves as some kind of defender of justice. Kuwana, Ehara, and Reiko don’t fit in either of those cases though. They all really feel as though they were forced into their actions. They didn’t want to do it, but what other choice did they have? There’s an element of hopelessness and desperation that I feel really elevates their characters. The acknowledgment that they did something evil, but that’s just how it is, and what they had to do.

And speaking of necessary evils...

Kazuki Soma. Oh my god, what a character. Soma is really easy to brush off as just some run of the mill, sadistic murderer. And while that is true of his character, he also is a lot more than that.

It’s really fun to compare his morals and sense of justice with Kuwana’s, because Soma’s “big picture” mindset is exactly what Kuwana’s sense of justice is missing.

I don’t know if this was intended to be a dig at Kuwana, but it definitely works as one. Kuwana’s method of “haphazardly taking them out” (with “them” meaning bullies) really is just a patchwork approach at best and there’s no sense of direction or an end goal in sight. 

While Kuwana is driven by emotions, focusing on the individual and short-term good, Soma’s sense of justice is driven more by logic-- a cold, detached view of the world in order to preserve a greater good. He very methodically analyzes his behavior and the world around him, and comes to the conclusion that his actions are necessary to maintain societal peace. The pleasure that Soma derives from his work absolutely makes him one sick bastard, and you may not agree with his logic, but it would be unfair to his character to deny that he makes some good points.

When you start to triangulate Yagami, Kuwana, and Soma’s characters and how they each define justice and morals, you start to get this really interesting web of gray morality. While the ideal sense of justice would be to combine the best aspects of all three definitions, that unfortunately can’t exist in the real world. So at what point in this web is the most “right”?

This triangulation also made for a much more emotionally compelling plot to me. Don’t get me wrong. I was (and still am) so emotionally invested in the first game. It was amazing with that sense of helplessness it instilled in the player. After Morita was clearly willing to turn a blind eye to the AD-9 testing, then what? You felt like your back was against the wall, with the entire world against you. Like Sugiura said, how could you be expected to fight that?

But in LJ, the plot feels much more... intimate. Yes, there’s the stuff with Bando and Public Security, but those sat relatively in the backseat throughout the game. When looking at Ehara’s trial, the point wasn’t to unravel the entire coverup and mess that was Public Security’s involvement. The appeal trial was simply to get Ehara to confess that he killed Mikoshiba. Even the most “big picture” crimes that Yagami wanted to solve were pretty localized when you look at them. Soma’s capture and Reiko turning herself in would mean that there would be justice for Sawa’s death, but it’s not like the goal was to take down Bando as well or topple RK as a whole.

Yagami really looked at Bando, RK, and Kuwana’s 5 other victims and said like “not my battle”. He recognized that it was outside of his reach-- he’s not powerful enough to do anything about it. All he can do is trust that Mafuyu and her team can sort out the Bando issue, and hope that Kuwana does some deep reflections on his actions and eventually turns himself in.

You know, this made me really gain a lot of respect for Yagami. To recognize his limitations and not get greedy and push his luck required an incredible amount of strength. It would’ve been so easy for him to try and capture Kuwana as well, but he knows that it won’t end well.

Yagami recognizes that he’s bound by the confines of a flawed system, but he’ll still do as much as he can to preserve and execute his own sense of justice.

... I feel like I’ve talked a LOT about the story and characters, so I’ll switch gears to jot down my other thoughts about the game.

The buzz words/chatter researcher was a GREAT way of finding sidecases. I absolutely loved it. It really made me feel like I was an actual detective, sniffing out cases around town.

Thank GOD Mafuyu stopped being this weird “is she or isn’t she” love interest for Yagami. It was really unclear as to how Yagami felt about her in the first game, but in LJ, I can definitely now believe him when he says “we aren’t like that”

I was really wary of the school stories, and how well the school setting would be integrated into the game, but it was perfect in my opinion. I loved seeing Yagami be the cool, dependable uncle figure to everyone, making sure that they get to have the experiences and opportunities that he missed out on.

Dancing in particular was SO FUN. I love going back and watching recordings of Esmeralda. Idk, it’s just so great to watch those funky little characters dance and have fun. 

Itokura is a girlboss. That’s all I have to say.

Vorarephilia is a fucking BANGER of a track but my god, did RGG really have to name one of the best songs “vore”????

Speaking of the soundtrack, Rasen was an AMAZING opening song. When I realized that the full length version was released on the same day that Mitsuru tried to kill himself, I nearly cried. It was such an emotional song, and Ado was the perfect choice for the singer.

I really, really hope that the series doesn’t end here. Even if Kimura can’t be in the game anymore, I’d love to see an update on Kuwana’s character. I know that LJ’s ending makes it seem like he’s switching over to Yagami’s definition of justice, but I don’t actually see it that way. If anything, Kuwana might be changing his strategy to think more about his long-term goal.

When he reports the bodies, he does so anonymously, yet he makes it clear that all of his victims were bullies in the past.

Clearly, he has no intent of turning himself in right now. Is he staying hidden because he wants to make sure Soma is convicted of Sawa’s murder, and then he’ll reveal himself afterwards? Or is this his way of letting society know that there is someone out there, willing to hold them accountable to their actions if no one else will? Maybe in revealing his trump card, this is his way of signaling to other bullies that they aren’t safe and that revenge can come for them at any moment. It won’t be immediate, but vengeance WILL come for them.

The game gives no indication as to what Kuwana plans to do next. It’s open-ended, and I think expanding on that would make for a really strong third entry in the series.

Anyway, I'll stop this train of thought here because speculation about a potential sequel doesn’t belong in a review post.

tldr, I thought this was a really, really good game. 9.5/10 easily. This has certainly become my favorite RGG game, and I’m going to go ahead and say that this is just one of my favorite games of all time, period.

[zirkkun]

I can't sleep so I'm gonna ramble for a minute here about. uh. 2020 i guess lol everyone else is so might as well jump on the bandwagon.

Be aware this is really really fucking long so it's a commitment to read it lmao sorry i just cannot sleep and i guess i had more on my mind about this year than i thought. I also did not proofread this at all. I just started writing and didn't look back lol

This year was... Weird for me. It started out with me feeling my best in January, comfortable and positive as I did my nth playthrough of DBH with friends and finally having enough alts of my boy Alfonse in FEH to have a team of Just him to fight with. (Priorities, right?) February hit, and things were still going good. I met Ray Chase and had him sign a print I did of Roy and Alfonse in some casual outfits for a scrapped au I wrote years ago. (And I gave him one 😊). Hell, like, covid was just coming around when me and my friends went to the con that weekend and a breakout of it hit the city just south of where the con was like a week before, but I was genuinely so excited for it that like I was like "Yeah, if i die, i die. Whatever happens happens." God, at this point, the Alfonse gc I was in was still alive and I still didn't talk to anyone in the group outside of that gc. Lowkey miss it tbh. But oh well. Things move on.

But that con was like... Stressful. I usually have fair amounts of stress at cons, being around so many people, I fear theft, unwanted contact, y'know, the standard; but my friend group was so filled with tension that it was absolutely painful. We'd been split most of the weekend, and if the two groups came together, it was hell, because it just caused unwanted arguments. I felt really bad cause I didn't want them to be upset, yknow? But i also wanted to hang out with my friends all at once. So i swapped between the groups a bit over the weekend. And blew WAY more money than I should have and lowkey it kind of fucked me over for the rest of the year cause I haven't had a job all year outside of, like, a local church job that pays at a rare max of $100 a month ;w;

I'd been struggling in school the previous semester already, about halfway through having just stopped going to classes altogether, yet still somehow managed to pass everything with B's and A's. The next semester rolled around, and I thought at first the distraction and inability to do anything was because of the con, and as it persisted after, I thought it was just post-con depression. But, as it turned out, no, it's just been my biggest relapse of depression since the end of high school, and frankly, it's only gotten worse since. I can't sleep rn because I'm between not wanting to do anything because I have a lack of emotions and motivation and not feeling deserving of sleep lol. I checked out of school on February 28th, however, I was convinced I was merely demotivated by my surroundings -- at this point, I was studying Japanese, and one of my friends at the time was a (although probably unintentionally) complete braggart about how much he was studying and how he was improving... not to mention he was textbook example of "This is an Actual Weeaboo, don't Fucking Do this." (One of many reasons i said friend at the time lol) it was just... So draining being around him, and I had to see him in class every day of the week. I barely scraped together assignments last-minute and never studied under the idea of "What does it matter if I'm not putting in my 100%?" So I checked out, with plans of transferring for the following semester.

Well, then March hit. Y'all know how March went down lmao.

I pretty much locked myself in my room at all times during March, going between Animal Crossing and BOTW (which actually racked up like 200ish hours i think according to the nintendo year in review i had lmao). I started making a bit closer online friends at this point, notably @levitumbling who decided to take me in as his channel designer for YouTube and I've been ever since! But. Of course. My first task? A Sans meme. My payment? One Switch copy of Undertale because he considered it a disgrace that I'd never played the game before.

Now, let me tell you. I was fuckin scared to play this game. I held onto it for weeks between the fear of "My friend bought me this and i should play this" and "I told myself I'd never touch this game with a 20 mile pole because of how much it's been shoved down my throat over the years." So, one day, I don't remember when, early April, I said, fuck it, I'll play it for a little bit, just enough to say "hey i played it for a bit!" and then never go back.

The only thing that stopped me from beating the whole thing in one sitting was it was the crack of dawn when I passed out, extremely tired and extremely frustrated by the fact I couldn't beat Muffet. Yes, I got that far in one sitting I intended to play for 15 minutes tops.

Now. Let me fuckin tell you. About my first playthrough of Undertale. I haven't gone into a game knowing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about it like... I think ever. Usually I know what style of game it is, the genre, the main plot premise. I knew nothing other than the existence of Sans (and, as it turned out, I'd heard some of the soundtrack pieces before, notably Bonetrousle I heard this cover of it in a radio livestream a while back and never really looked it up, but was always excited when the radio looped back around to it being on; and I'd heard Dating Start! because that's Alpharad's go-to sponsorship ost lmao.) But anyway. I was completely in the dark. Do yall mind if i just go through some highlights of my favorite memories? This is supposed to be a summary of the year but I mean, I think this made a big enough impact on me to really like. Discuss it a bit.

I watched the whole opening cutscene, started a new game under my old screenname, "Yoru," since in naming the "Fallen Child," I assumed they were dead. Well, I was a little surprised to just be that child, alive, two seconds later, but whatever, I rolled with it.

I genuinely trusted Flowey right away. Like no shit. He told me run into the "friendliness pellets" and I didn't even fucking question it. And when Toriel came in? And she said to follow her? I straight up was like "Why the hell should I trust you?? That guy just tried to kill me what says you wont?" I followed only because the game made me but i was Wary the whole time. It took me a LONG time to warm up to Toriel.

Now. Let me tell you how stupid I am as well. The game says over and over right, "Don't fight. Spare. Have Mercy when names are Yellow." Well, I took this literally. I didn't understand the Act mechanic most of the time, and when something didn't work I just said, fuck it, and fought them. If their name didn't turn yellow, I just fought them. "They don't want Mercy if their name isn't yellow, right?" After a while, I'd started getting bored of fighting and would just run away, but like, I came to a point where I was like "I have a really low level, I'm really going to regret this later on if I don't grind for a while."

I don't know when I stopped but. I think I was only one or two kills away from a genocide run accidentally my first playthrough, based on how I think I was LV 3 and looking at genocide playthroughs, you're LV 3 or 4 when you fight Toriel. Like. Holy fuck. I can't imagine what I would have thought of this game if that happened lmao.

Speaking of Toriel, still didn't trust her, at all. When we got to Home, and after I did Every Single different phrase she says when you go downstairs before you talk to her reading about snails; I did not Hesitate to ask "cool uh when the fuck can I leave?" When we got to the Ruins exit I was like, ah, here it is. The betrayal from her I was expecting, where she tries to kill me. Well, nothing on the Act menu worked, right? So... I fought and killed her. I didn't really care, actually. I just kept going.

Then meeting Sans and Papyrus happened. I lost my fucking shit at this part, mostly when they were talking, because every time Sans made a pun it would zoom in on him and do a rimshot. The puns were not funny and I was definitely on Pap's side of "oh my GOD shut up." But that fucking zoom in and rimshot was just so fourth wall breaking and unexpected. Fuck, it still gets me. Anyway. Game continues. I again lose my shit at (insane spinning in random directions) "OH MY GOD! IS THAT A HUMAN?" "uh, i think that's a rock." "OH. WAIT! WHAT'S THAT IN FRONT OF THE ROCK?? (IS IT A HUMAN??)" "(yes.)" "OH MY GOD!!!" and still think these two moments in the game are Peak comedy. Oh, and let me tell you, I did not like either of these two at this point. Sans I was like, okay, hes kind of a dumbass in a funny way, but Papyrus is a dumbass in a way that just annoys me. Genuinely the archetype that misses social cues and therefore has miscommunication usually just annoys me to no end. (Mostly for the miscommunication. It's my least favorite trope and makes me unreasonably angry.) But yeah. Wasn't really a fan. But out of everyone so far? Definitely found Sans to be the most tolerable. But that's about all I thought of him lmao.

Getting to Snowdin, with the Papyrus battle, remember how I said I didn't like Papyrus? And yes, this was something I genuinely thought at one point, I genuinely hated Papyrus, imagine that. What a wild world that is. But anyway. You know how his Act menu has the "Flirt" option? I, for no reason, gunned it for the Flirt option, even though I did not want to. Then when he was like "WE'LL GO ON A DATE! LATER!!" i was like yea sure okay lmao. Again, couldn't figure out the Act menu to turn his name yellow, so I fought him, and he was one or two attacks from dying (miraculously) when he ended the battle. I spared him here cause, well, he spared me, it was only fair. Then this guy again is like "ILL BE AT MY HOUSE WHEN YOU WANT TO GO ON THAT DATE!" and i was like haha funny but still turned around to go on the date. Like why? I have no idea. I think I was more like "haha hes probably not gonna be there and its just cause i picked that option and lo and behold there was an actual fucking date. Oh my god. I have never in my life been on a video game date where one party was convinced I was infatuated with them and im here on the other side of the screen like "oh my god make this end i can't stand being around you.???" But still. The date was. Really fucking funny. I wish I could experience it for the first time again like holy shit. There are few playthroughs I did after this where I didn't go on the Pap date, even if I just spedrun through it.

So then you get to Waterfall and Sans is there like "hey wanna go to grillbys" and i was like sure why not so we go there and my choices were fries & ketchup (so i did not get the legendary scene where he chugged a bottle of ketchup, but i sure did my second playthrough, and let me tell you, i was disgusted). But like. This whole experience at grillby's like, the whoopee cushion, him using a comb on his bald ass skull, him just fuckin unapologetically scratching his ass for no reason?? Bro i was like "why the fuck is this guy part of the Tumblr Sexymen™ group ??? He's so ????? Gross???????" and like i still have this question tbh lmao. But like. Okay so he asks you "what do you think of my bro?" And my genuine answer was "uncool" and he was like "hey man sarcasm isnt funny" and can i just mention how like inheritly manipulative sans actually is like fuck he does things like this where he throws your answer the other way a few times and Every time it actually swayed me the other way. Because right here I went. "Oh. Maybe Papyrus is better than I thought." Like holy fuck maybe i should be more aware if something like that can sway my opinion so easily LMAO.

Anyway waterfall i genuinely was very bored of the whole time. I spent like a genuine 20 minutes figuring out the puzzle where you have to talk to a wall and I actually didn't realize you could move the telescope around. What helped me solve it is my friend's advice before I played it. "Inspect everything. Even talk to walls. Trust me." And literally thats how I solved it. But pretty much everything in Waterfall otherwise bored me. I did think it was pretty though, and did enjoy reading the lore, but when it started talking about monster biology my one fear had been realized: oh god, oh fuck. My original species for my own series also has physical Souls and die by turning to dust because they're made entirely of magic. God fuck. My luck, it has to be something popular, so now everyone's gonna think I'm a ripoff. But, at the same time, I do think it helped me understand monster biology (and it helped me come up with the ULR biology) better, because I've put in a lot of thought to existence of a species that exists only by magic and a Soul (which, mine only actually have half a Soul, as a full Soul makes a being immortal, which was also similar to the boss monsters in a way). It definitely made a lot more sense for like, the skeletons n stuff for me, because like my characters are wholly shapeshifters but usually take human form, and while they have "organs" in the places humans would have them, they don't operate. They're just placeholders, because they just live with their Soul. So I've always thought the same with UT monsters, since the skelebros can live without organs, that means so do the rest of the monsters, even if they have animal-like appearances.

Off topic lmao. Back to UT. So, the Undyne fight was kind of the turning point for me. She was pissing me off so much during this whole game and like I was like "if theres another fucking part where I have to run away from her im going to scream." Well, once again, her name wasn't yellow, so I wasn't going to spare her... and, actively, I made the decision to kill her, because I didn't want to deal with her still chasing me later on in the game. It took me a long time to beat her, and when I did, I texted my friend (@cheshiregrinnbuttoneyes ) in excitment like "YES I FINALLY KILLED UNDYNE" and she texted back like "YOU DID WHAT?????" and i was like "i.... Killed Undyne????" she replies, "YOU DONT HAVE TO OMFG WHY" and im like "I DIDN'T HAVE TO?? THERE'S OTHER OPTIONS?????" and shes like "YES OMFG THAT'S LITERALLY THE PREMISE OF THE GAME" and im "WHAT."

So then. I get that call from Papyrus like. "HEY! YOU ME AND UNDYNE SHOULD HANG OUT SOMETIME!"

oh my god the guilt i felt.

alphys on undernet being like "omfg i forgot to watch undyne fight the human. ah ill ask her about it later she never loses <3"

bro. i nearly fuckin cried. i was like. Not to mention I'd gotten the crush question right for Mettaton's quiz in answering Undyne (bc i was like "plz be gay plz be gay") so it fucking cut like a knife what I'd done.

I don't remember when I let myself get passed it. But I do know that the whole story arc between Alphys and Mettaton went way over my head. Like, i know im probs the minority on this, but I adore Alphys, I have since I first met her in game, and like, when Mettaton was like "ALPHYS HAS BEEN LYING TO YOU!" i just went "...nah."

Also, I didnt like mettaton at this point, cause I thought he was being really obnoxious, and then the turn around to betray Alphys really kinda pissed me off.

But like.

Oh my god.

Remember how I said I swapped my opinion on Pap earlier bc of Sans's comment? Yeah that was a pretty fast turnaround, but it still took me a few times.

But the second i saw mettaton ex

I was like

"HIM. HE. HE'S THE ONE I LOVE."

Like, full turnaround from Undyne, I actively refused to kill him. All times I thought he was an asshole? Forgotten. Me thinking he's a selfish prick? Gone. Nada. Nothing. Pure adoration. Suddenly every flaw he had was pushed aside purely from how hot I thought he was. Also, fuckin, im really glad i played this when no one in my house was awake, because I still didn't understand the Act mechanic here, and every time you attack mettaton he has this like moan he does and im like oh my god. stop. omfg.

At the end, too, when there was the calls and everything, when he had his big turnaround, I was just so happy for him I genuinely cried. Also, I had to do his battle probably the most out of everyone's in the game (not including genocide), so when it came around to his battle during the (glitchless) speedruns i did, i was more invested in how fast I could rack up points, cause you need 10k rating points to pass, and I actually did get that before he lost his legs, but apparently he needed to lose those too before you passed lol. Unfortunate.

Anyway after Alphys talked to you and everything, i genuinely went to see if Mettaton was still there, but he wasn't :( so i just went to New Home. I was very ill prepared for the fight against Asgore and the only reason I struggled with it so much was because my only healing items were like. Something that healed like 10 or 12 hp and the snowman piece. I was LV 9 when i finished the game, so like, my HP was pretty high, but i didnt have the G to buy items, so i was pretty much fucked. Yes. I had to eat the snowman to win.

Oh speaking of terrifying shit though. Photoshop flowey? My god. I haven't been afraid of a video game boss so much since I was a little kid. It was like 3 am and i was not prepared for him to just delete my save file and then kill me on repeat, glitching and breaking everything as he pleased. Bruh i was genuinely scared. Like, not even just, "oh yikes :(" or something. Like, crying scared. Lmao im an emotional bitch by nature.

I of course had to restart from the beginning again to get the True Pacifist ending. I was very careful to never touch the Fight button literally ever. And, it actually took me a while to reset, because I hate erasing my original save files, yknow? But, well, as it turned out? While technically New Game+ by naming, resetting doesn't erase everything you did. It wasn't a new file. I was a little confused at first to be honest. Toriel saying things were familiar, remembering things I said, Papyrus and Undyne both recognizing me, like. It was unnerving.

When I got to the end, i had to look up how to get Alphys's date (since my friend told me the way to unlock TP was to go on all the dates, but Alphys's was definitely designed in mind of you turning around from New Home and going back to talk to people rather than a new reset. So after unlocking it, getting through Alphys's date (i still remember being like, verbally, "omg alphys you look so nice??" When she came out with the dress on and then had a thought to myself like... since when do i care about what people look like? since when do i compliment people? At that point, while I didn't consider myself to be a rude person, I definitely wasn't exactly all that concerned about others for anything. Sure, I cared about others' lives, but I tended to be a bit more judgemental internally, and just. Didn't really give a fuck about what people did in the most negative sense possible, unless it involved me. Yet, it rolled off my tongue like it was something id say normally to anyone. I really wonder if this is the true turning point for me this year.)

Getting to the end, with everyone cheering me on. Hoo boy. This was the start of many tears to come. Papyrus's "DO WHAT I WOULD DO! BELIEVE IN YOU!!" sticks with me the most. I wasn't surprised by Flowey's actions, but what fucking threw me for a loop was like. When Flowey was revealed as Asriel, I was genuinely jaw-drop shocked. I was like. Holy fuck. I thought he was dead. What the hell. To this day, though, i still think Hopes and Dreams hits me the hardest out of all the boss battle themes. It doesn't super bother me, bc like, difference in opinion is whatever, but like. Whenever I see Megalovania at the top of someone's ost list for Undertale I'm just... Why? Maybe it's because I'd overheard it meme'd to much before I played the game, but like, i dunno, it's not a bad song, but it's not the most emotional provoking piece for me, so it's pretty far down my list. Hopes and Dreams will still remain my #1.

I really did feel determined during this battle. I really felt a lot of emotion. I felt excited. I felt frightened. I felt ambitious. Asriel's battle is probably still the hardest for me, and yes, I'm counting genocide this time. I can't grasp his magic patterns at all, and I more so played it as a "okay, how much damage can i take? Whats his next move?" As i healed every other turn. It took me a very long time to beat him (though no 11 hours like Sans, this was more like, 2 or 3 max) and when I got to the part with the Lost Souls, most of the characters just said their "we hate you" piece and i was like "nope you're controlled" right.

But then there's Sans's "just give up. i did."

I genuinely had to stop. I set down my controller and just sat for a minute. I'd mentioned before how much I've been struggling with depression for years now, and it's at the worst it's been since high school. Maybe you'd think when I saw that, I was like "sure, maybe I should give up." But... It's really the "i did." that hit me like a rock to the stomach. While I do know a couple other people with depression, the most discussion we have with it is "haha i wanna die" kinda jokes yknow? Nothing really serious. And, well, I've always been the type to lean to fictional characters for support more than real people, since I've just been so disconnected from a lot of friends growing up and was too scared to talk about anything with my family.

So seeing someone else say "just give up. i did." hit me so fucking hard that I just started crying. I had already been in a real sappy mood cause the whole scene was so emotional as it was, even if merely the cliche of friendship will save all, y'know what? Its a good ass fuckin trope and makes me emotional lmao.

So, naturally, I was more hyperaware of Sans's implied depression from here onward. The conversations with everyone post-battle left me crying. God, so did the hug with Asriel. I was just fucking bawling.

Oh god. I didn't even mention. "Despite everything, it's still you." Another line that just hit me and I had to pause.

So admist my crying mess, I was telling my friend I'd beat Undertale again. He asks me "so... you gonna play the genocide route?" And I already had from the beginning. I always want to play every available route in a game. I see no point in paying for something and then not playing it all. I'd consider myself a completionist who doesn't ever actually finish anything lmao.

I definitely put my emotions aside for genocide. The absolute hardest kill for me was Papyrus, though. And i was absolutely fucking heartbroken when he said he still believed me as his last words. But I forced it aside. I didn't want to reset. I wanted to beat it to have it under my belt that I had. I was pretty sure the Sans battle would be here, since I hadn't heard Megalovania in the game yet, and I was aware of how hard the battle was, despite never seeing it.

Undyne's battle I'm more emotional about in retrospect than I was at the time. At the time, I didn't care, didn't like the theme much, and the dings gave me a headache. Undyne isn't exactly my favorite character (though definitely not my least favorite, that role is given to Frisk with Toriel not close behind ahdhsb im sorry), so I really wasn't concerned about it. Not to mention, I don't know why, but all of the battles I struggled with EXCEPT Undyne's I ended up liking the character more as a result. Maybe it was the dinging lmao.

Bro you shoulda seen how prepared I was for Mettaton NEO's battle to be hard as fuck. I was like sitting upright, took deep breaths before hitting fight, then when he died in one shot i just kind of "wh...what." Still very disappointed lol but I guess that's kind of the point of the genocide route.

Then came the Sans fight. As I said, I spent 11 hours on this. I genuinely didn't pay attention to what he said after a while, but I do remember the first time I read it, I was fucking terrified. Usually, sarcasm, hatred, and sass is very hard to convey through pure text, especially when it's said in the same tone as his usual talking. But the absolute harshness, the coldness, and the lack of any fucks given Sans had at that point was so plainly transparent through everything he said that it fucking scared me. Toby Fox's writing here was fantastic. I can only dream of being able to write like that. Frankly, I love his writing in general. Actually, fuck it, I love all of the artistic takes of this game. This is gonna sound weird but... The "childishness" of it just is so good. Like, there's no rules. Every socially accepted rule of art, writing, character design, speech patterns, and even basic grammar are thrown aside. He didn't just think outside of the box, there literally was no box. I call it childish only because like, children also create with no rules. They have no rules to restrict their creativity. And seeing that embraced in Undertale in every form possible just blows me away.

Anyway. The battle. It. Was hard. Thats a given. I spent about two weeks playing it on and off, and it's probably the most healthily I've treated myself in recent memory, because when it became too much for me to handle, I set it down and took a break. I would retain what I memorized and use it for the next time I picked it up. Frankly, it came to a point where every time I opened up Undertale to play, it was more just cause I wanted to see him lmao. The guy hated my existence at this point and it's not like i disacknowledged that. But it just felt like every time i opened the game... Idk. I don't know what I felt. I can tell you for sure this isn't the time when Sans started slipping into my favorite character spot over Mettaton, that didn't come until the development of Act to Flirt's first demo, which was a month or so later lmao.

I was very excited when I beat Sans.

But then, after it was over, I felt very empty.

I didn't feel good about beating genocide. I still don't. I want to play the boss battles again, cause they were really fun, despite how hard they were, but I can't bring myself to.

When I got to Chara, and everything went to black, I just wiped my save and started fresh. I think this was the first time I used the name "Willo" for anything. I just picked a random name to use, and Willo was the first thing that came to mind.

I beat neutral again many times, trying to unlock as many secrets as I could. I accidentally spent like, way too long trying to get Sans's room, because I couldn't figure out how to do it... which is when I started speedrunning the game, because I was just so used to going through it all. I timed myself once, and I got somewhere around 1:20:00 ish, which puts me at the very bottom of the NG+ Glitchless runs by like 30 minutes, but hey, it's still not too bad all things considered.

I'd started working on Act to Flirt sometime in between the speedruns. I was playing Papyrus's date again, and I had this thought of. What if Undertale... but all boss fights are instead like Papyrus's date?? I pitched the idea to my friend who was like "thats definitely been done before lol" and immediately I almost shut down the idea. But then I still had that glimmer of hope that, maybe, since I haven't made it yet, people would like my game because it was by me. Besides, quarantine was getting to me. I needed some way to spend my time. So on May 6th to May 7th, I spent the whole 24 hour period making the first proof of concept for the game, which was UI setup and Flowey's tutorial date. I hadn't made any of the art yet, so it was a black background with Flowey's undertale sprite. I originally was going to make everything more visual novel like in the sense that, so like on Papyrus's date, you could make choices like "unwrap the present" "dont unwrap the present" or "you look great" "you look terrible" and getting the ending would involve pretty much just saying the right things at the right times. But this alone was... Yknow, already done before, and part of what makes Undertale so great is that it's, despite its many outside influences, very unique in its gameplay. So I decided to make the dates more like puzzle-solving RPG's, and frankly, since doing that, I dont know if I want to go back to making other visual novels lmao.

After making the first demo and releasing it, I hit a creative funk. I wanted to make the next demo right away, but I forced myself to stop (since i was working 16+ hour days to finish it in exactly a week. I didn't eat much and i slept very little during this time too. Dont do this lmao). I didn't know if the game would be received, and frankly, I'd had many failed projects in the past due to lack of support. I lost a lot of support in the past due to the dropped projects I kept starting and quitting because I had such a small audience, and that made me lose a lot of interest and motivation to work on them. So I posted the first demo and waited. I was very shocked to have a YouTuber with over a million subs play it that weekend. Dantekris I think was her channel name. She speaks Russian, and I never understood a word she said, but I've still watched her let's plays because I enjoy seeing her reactions. I hate that YouTube keeps deleting my responses on her videos, probably because they're long and in English so it's marked as spam on a comments section full of purely Russian comments yknow. But it makes me feel like such an ass ;w;

Mairusu is the next large YouTuber who played it and my god I love seeing when he uploads a new update for my game because I genuinely have no idea what to expect from him. I don't know what it is but he's just so absolutely funny to me. He also seems to be the most common breaker of my game though. Stop making your own bugs!! I try to testplay to find the bugs he gets and it's like.... what did you do.... how did you skip that whole date im so confused thats not supposed to happen..... He accidentally skipped all of Muffet's date because of this too and hers is supposed to be the hardest in the game right now so I'm very upset by it;; i dont know how it happened, it never happens for me.

But like. I was definitely struggling a bit with the direction I wanted to take AtF. I wanted there to be a core message, like with Undertale and many other of my favorite things. When there's a core theme to write about, it makes things a lot easier to compose than if you have a plot with no meaning to it. It ties it all together for a common purpose. But, as I started diving more into the fandom around this time, finding not only it being still alive but still enormous and filled with passion.

Passion. Hm. That's familiar. That's the trait I gave the player character, rather than determination. While it was intended for giggles "haha dating game u have passion wink wonk," it started becoming more than that. It started becoming a manifestation of what I really felt upon finally soaking myself into the deep end of this pool I'd once been too afraid to step into. Passion. Everyone here is so driven by their passion for this game, the characters, its story. Everyone is so inspired and creative. That's it. That's what I wanted Act to Flirt to be.

A game made for those who have already dived deep into Undertale. A game made for those who have the same level if passion I've wittnessed. A game that someone might stumble upon, merely wanting any Undertale content they can find, and a dating sim leaves them grasping at straws, only to find it's a game instead deeply rooted in how much they care about this world and its people. You have a Soul of Passion, because your passion for Undertale brought you to this game. That's what the core message is. Every ending is supposed to depict different kinds of empathy, and True Passion shows you truly cared the most you could for all of these characters. Sans is so blocked from it because, well, how can he really believe it? "if we're really friends, you won't come back," right? But here you are. Again and again.

And Heartbreak. Whose heart is really the one breaking here? Taking the Hopes and Dreams of every single character you've grown to care for and crushing it beneath your feet... who is the one suffering in the end?

I just... I'm very excited. I've written that game with the player as the main character. Not Willo. Not Frisk. Not anybody else. You, the player, are the main character. I've honestly done a lot of looking around in the DDLC code to make this game as 4th wall breaking as I can (without like. Disrupting it as a game experience like ddlc is, with monika deleting things and stuff). Just enough to leave the player unsettled and confused. Like. "Me? Are you talking to me?" Yes. You. Directly to you.

I started sketching out designs and ideas for ULR around July. I genuinely loved Underlust after finding out about it, even though it was posed to me as an insult about the contents of Act to Flirt. I was both like "uh... Act to Flirt is nothing like this. Maybe in reversed roles at best but..." and also "okay but this? This shit is good. Thank you." But finding out it was discontinued and wanting more, well, that's when I decided to make ULR. I presented the idea to my friends, who were like "please stop making aus," and then continued onward. I told myself I wasn't going to work on it though until after I finished Act to Flirt... Then after the next demo came out... Then it turned out I was working on it too much and it resulted in me rushing my release of the 3rd demo of AtF because I'd been so distracted I was going to miss my release deadline of the end of August, before school. I... Still kinda regret that a lot. It's still very buggy. Though I hope I got them all for the next demo...

But speaking of school .... ha... Remember when i said i was going to transfer to another school? Well, I did, and for the first few weeks it was fine! Then I started skipping assignments I didn't want to do. Then I started panicking about my low grades. Then I started getting behind on assignments. Then I stopped going to classes. Then I lost all motivation to work on anything at all. I just locked myself in my room and did next to nothing with the occasional drawing here and there, for weeks. It came to the point where I was like "I just have to get through this semester, then I'll drop out." But if I ever wanted to go back to school, having all F's on my last report card would not bode well for my acceptance. Which lead to more stress. I didn't want to fail, but I also didn't have any motivation to work. I would do one assignment here or there, feel good about myself, then realize I was still months behind on work and suddenly oh god oh fuck finals are next week. And my solution? I just. Fuckin dropped out. Oh my god. It was such a relief to just get that weight off my shoulders that I'd been carrying for months on end, preventing me to do anything I wanted to work on.

Well. Then my car tires died. So that's a thing. But good news! Between commissions and gifts, I have enough money to get them replaced! I don't think I've ever like... Been so excited about that before.

And, well. Now I'm here, pretty much. God, I just went through my entire year summary, and it feels like it was both forever long but also not long at all. I don't get it. 2021 still feels like a far off future, despite the fact I'm now 5 hours into it. Yes, I spent 4 hours writing this. Whoops. Oh well. I couldn't sleep anyway, so it's not that big of a deal.

All in all though... Despite being locked inside, away from my friends, unable to talk to anyone about the things i was enjoying, and living in fear of getting sick at all ever with anything, 2020 definitely fuckin changed me for the better. It was a hellhole of a year and I'd never do it again or wish it upon my worst enemy, but I came out a better person... I think. I hope.

It seems cliche to bring back but fuck it. Undertale? My friend insists its core message was that anyone can be a good person if they just try, which I mean, it definitely probably was intended that way. But that never was the message I felt while playing it.

What lesson I took from it was "things aren't always as they seem."

Flowey betrays you immediately, but then you find out he's just the remnants of a boy who died years ago and is still grieving over the loss of his best friend, whomst, despite how much he cares for them, recognizes they weren't good to him and he'd been manipulated and used by them.

Toriel is a kind and caring woman, a still grieving mother over the loss of her children, who seems to have kindness to no end, but is actually filled with such hatred and depression that she regularly gets drunk, swears, and still, without resilience, hates her ex husband.

Sans is a playful character who is full of puns, a gross atmosphere, and decided to break physics just because he can. He's the embodiment of a comic relief character. But at the same time, he's suffering, struggling, in constant pain and worry. He's lazy, but quick on his feet. He's harmless but will kill without hesitation if need be. He's both caring and the least caring of them all.

Papyrus is like... a self-centered asshole in a way, when you first meet him. He prides himself and everything he does. Yet still, he's actually quite open and accepting and loves everyone. He loves talking with and being with other people, even if maybe sometimes he has a different interpretation of social interaction from the "norm."

Undyne comes off as cruel and deadly, such even being emphasized in many points. But, deep down, she's extremely caring for those who are close to her, and her only cruelty is dealt to those who have wronged her in some way.

Alphys is a sweet and nervous wreck who comes off as helpful and lacking a filter due to her tendency to ramble. She seems to be merely anxious due to likely social anxiety... But you eventually find out that she's a liar who merely wants to create a world to be a better place, and by doing so, she pretends all the bads do not exist.

Mettaton comes off as an absolute self-centered asshole. Like. There's no way around that. He seemingly has no regard for other people with only full intentions of helping himself. But, deep down, he actually cares a lot for other people, especially his family and friends, and just tends to get caught up in things while he's in the moment.

Muffet seems to be greedy with how much money she begs people to give her for the spiders, but, as it turns out, she's flat broke and drops no G when you beat or kill her. She merely needs the money to help the spiders.

Asgore, too, is built up to be this ruthless killer throughout the whole game, and when you finally meet him, he's an incredibly sweet guy who's only filled with regret, and because of his past decisions, has decided to put aside his hopes for the sake of his people.

I...

Didn't see any of these characters for who they really were right away. Why would I? Few of these archetypes are explored much in a lot of fiction lately, or at least what I've been consuming; and is more focused around how someone can change their flaws into something positive... Not how to accept someone for who they are, despite the wrongs they may have committed or the lives they lead. Everyone's different. Everyone's grown up differently. Everyone has a reason for what they do.

And it took me playing this game to realize such a simple concept that I probably should have learned years ago.

That's why I really think 2020 changed me for the better. I made a realization that I should have had many years ago, and it's made me a lot more confident in expressing myself, accepting people for what they do, and seeing the brighter side to everything. I say that, sitting here filled with nothing and void of all emotion whatsoever... But it's a conscious thought i have. My emotions are so weird... They're either on full blast or I feel nothing at all. But yet I have... Thoughts of what i should feel? It's weird. Idk. This is why I'm getting therapy LMAO

But yea. 2020? Fuck you. But also thank you. But mostly fuck you and good riddance lmao

[tumbling-odyssey]

Games I played in 2020

Just felt like getting my thoughts out on all the games I played this year. I’ve been wanting to do something like this for years but I always let it pass me by. Well not this year! Fuck you laziness! 

I played the first half in 2019 but finished it in 2020 so I guess I'll count it. DQ11 was my intro to Dragon Quest and what a good starting point. I'm not exaggerating when I say this is one of the best traditional JRPGs on the market. Characters, story, combat, it all clicks in just the right way to make a flawless game... until the end credits roll that is. 

I have no idea what happened with the post game but by god does it dive off a cliff. It undermines everything you worked to do in the main plot. The characters act brain dead and it shamelessly reuses events from the main game. Please pick up and play DQ11 but for the love of god just stop when the credits roll.

Doom is a game I knew I'd like. The heavy metal ascetic and soundtrack were right up my alley, but I just never found the time. With Eternal on the way though and having found it on the cheap at a pawn shop I figured there was no time like the present. Needless to say but I was right. I loved everything about this game. The thrill of combat, the screech of the guitars, and the silent take no shit attitude of Doomguy. Make no mistake though, I SUCK at this game. I played on easy but still got my ass handed to me on the regular. But I don't care, I was having way to much fun.

I flipped my shit when this game got leaked at the tail end of 2019. Zero 3 is my all time favourite game. To celebrate this getting announced I went and 100% Zero 3 as I hadn't done it on my current cart, and Zero 3 was still the first thing I played when I got this collection! I love that game to death and I’m glad to have it on modern consoles again. As I was under a bit of time crunch with other games releasing soon I only played 2 other games in the collection Zero 4 and ZX Advent. Until the DS collection those and 3 were the only Zero/ZX games I had so I have a lot of nostalgia for them. 

Zero 4 hold ups better then I remember. Not as good as 3 but a damn solid game with tweaks I honestly wish hit the series before its end. I remember having issues with the stage design and ya it’s not perfect, but it’s far from as bad as I thought. For ZXA this was the first time I beat the game on normal difficulty. For some reason the ZX games have always given me more trouble than the Zero games, so finally beating one on normal was very exciting. Maybe I can now finally go and beat ZX for the first time...

The Mystery Dungeon series rising from the depth to punch all those unexpecting in the face was a very welcome surprise. I had a lot of hype going into this one as I have very fond memories of my time with Red Rescue Team and even more with Explorers of Darkness. And the game lived up to it! The remastered music is great and crazy nostalgic, the 3D models are well used and don't feel as stiff as they do in the core series, and the QOL changes are near perfect... So why did I drop this game like a rock once I finished the main quest? 

Anyone familiar with Mystery Dungeon will know that the post game is the real meat of it. The story is short and all the really cool shit comes in after it's done. But I just couldn't bring myself to put more time in after I finished said story mode. I'm definitely chocking that up to me just not being in the mood then an issue with the game. Here's hoping we get an Explorers DX sometime soon. That will fucking hook me for all it's got.

Second verse same as the first. I loved this game and sucked at it horribly. Out of all the games I've played this year Doom Eternal is the one I want to go back to the most. I was not the hugest fan of some of the changes made and retained a stance that I liked 2016 better. First person platforming has never been a fun experience in my opinion and Eternal did little to change that. And I know this a lukewarm take at best but fuck Marauders!. They are so unfun to fight and ruin the pace. The Marauder in the last mook wave took me so long I was worried I wouldn’t be able to finish the game. But the more I've seen of Eternal after my playthrough makes me think I was being far to harsh. I haven't played the DLC yet either. Mostly cuss I haven't heard great things about it. Gonna wait for the rest of it to come out to see if it's worth getting. Might just replay to whole game at that point to see if it clicks with me better.

This was my second favourite game of the year, and was going to take the top slot until a certain other game came out. Addressing the elephant in room right away, I hated the ending. But I was expecting something like that, I think we all were. I won't let the ending ruin the rest of the game though. Not gonna let 1 segment colour everything that came before it. We have to see how the later parts play out to truly see if this ending was trash or not anyway. 

It took Square over a decade but they finally got an action RPG battle system that works and feels good to play. This may be my favourite battle system in an RPG period honestly. All four characters are a blast and it only gets better the more time you spend with it. Figuring out the nuances of each character’s skills and how to combine them not only with the skills of the others but how to enhance them with the right Materia set. This makes fights thrilling and satisfying when you finally best whatever was giving you trouble. Tis was the best way to bring 7′s mechanics into the modern landscape while also fixing the BIGGEST issue the OG had. The fact every character feels the same aside from Limit Breaks. 

All this on top of graphics that just look fucking stunning, a few glitched out doors aside. Fuck I still feel blown away looking at the characters models (mostly Tifa) and see how god damn pretty everyone is. Also Tifa’s Chinese dress is gift from the Gods and I still haven’t picked my jaw up from the floor after I first saw it.

In my circle of the internet there was a lot of hype for this game. So much so that I ended up buying it to see what all the hubbub was about. I had never played a Streets of Rage game before and my only experience with beat'em ups was playing a LOT of Scott Pilgrim and last year's River City Girls. Turns out Streets of Rage plays quite a bit different and it kicked my ass! So sadly I had to switch to easy to make it through but I still had a fun time with it. 

I started playing mostly as Blaze but once Adam hit the scene oooooh fucking boy. I didn’t play anyone else. There's a deceptive amount of content in this game. You can unlock almost every character from the previous games and all of them rocking their original sprites and moves. If I had more of a connection with this series I'm sure I would have gone nuts on unlocking everything. I stopped after my one playthrough and I was happy with that. Always glad to support a long overdue franchise revival.

To properly talk about P5R I think I need to air a lot of my feelings on the original game and the importance it has to me. You see, prior to 2017 I barely played games, only sticking to specific franchises. AKA Pokemon and Mega Man/Mega Man like games. Until 2016 though I still bought a lot of games. Eating up Steam sales and deals I found at pawn shops. This lead to a Steam library and shelf filled with games I've never touched outside of maybe an hour or 2. So in 2016 when I took interest in the newly released Kirby Planet Robobot I made a deal with myself. I could get the game but I HAD to beat it. ��And I did just that, gaining not just a new fav Kirby game but a new rule for game purchases. If I knew I wouldn't beat a game I was not aloud to buy it. Now what does ANY of this have to do with P5 you may ask? Well... almost everything.

 I was immediately interested in P5 when it hit the west in 2017. I loved the 20 or so hours I but into P3 years ago and really liked the P4 anime I had watched around the same time. So of course with all the hype around it I wanted to dive into the series full force with P5. But I knew myself. Putting over 100 hours into a game was beyond me and I had a weird relationship with home console games as I was predominately a handheld gamer. Add in the fact I didn't even have a PS4 and I was convinced P5 would be something I always wanted to play, but never would. So when I went to the mall with a few friends and they showed me that P5 had a PS3 version, I had a dilemma on my hands. I knew I wanted to play it and I now had a way to do so. But doing that would require me to change 2 HUGE hang ups I had with games. Would I being willing to waste 60 bucks with so much working against me? Apparently I was. I immediately started going to town on this game. Making sure I spent no less then 2 hours a day playing NO MATTER WHAT. Which may not seem like a lot but it was to me... at the time.. I also had just moved to my current house, so coming home from my still relatively new job and going straight into P5 was the first real routine I formed during this heavily transitional part of my life. 

I of course ended up loving P5 and put 200 hours into it. As such my outlook on gaming was forever changed. Console games were no longer out of reach and I knew I could handle playing monster length game. I started playing way more games then I ever did before and trying out generas I never thought I would play. P5 is the main reason for this and why I'm able to make a post like this. To actually touch on Royal though? It's unarguably the better version of the game and Atlus learned all the right lessons from P4G. The new characters are great and the added section at the end is possibly the best shit Atlus has ever written. I only wish Yoshizawa joined the party sooner so I could play as her more. 

The release of this really came out of nowhere huh? Wayforward announced it was being made mid way through 2019, then there was its weird half release on the Apple store... and then suddenly it was out! Very little fanfare for this one. Is that indicative of the games quality? Luckily no. Seven Sirens is a solid addition to the series and follows up Half Genies Hero nicely. The game goes back to Shantae's Metroidvania roots and makes a TON of improvements. 

Transformations are now instant instead of having to dance for them (don't worry dancing is still in the game) making the game feel more like Pirates Curse in its fast flow. They also added the Monster Cards which take heavy inspiration from Aria of Sorrow's Soul system. A feature I'm happy to see in any Metroidvania since Aria is one of my all time favourite games. Sadly though the game does not take the best advantage of these improvements. 

Over all the game feels kinda empty. The dungeons aren't super exciting to explore nor are they challenging in any way. And the plot is very repetitive, with each dungeon repeating the same beats. Really this game feels more like set up for a better game down the line. The mechanics are all here and Wayforward has a solid art style with the sprites from Half Genie Hero. Hopefully they capitalizes on this for Shantae 6 and we get the best game in the series.

While it may not have been the most thrilling game, Seven Sirens really put me into a Shantae mood. So much so that I went back to play the 2 games in the series I had never touched. This being the first game and Risky's Revenge. Shantae 1 really is a hidden gem in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, it's the definition of jank, but there's a lot of heart to this game. The sprites are great, the soundtrack is good, and the characters are funny... but it's still on the OG Gameboy and that's a massive hindrance for any game. I'm hard pressed to recommend this with how poorly its aged but I think it's better then it looks. 

Risky's Revenge on the other hand was a game that shocked me by how little it had to offer. I know this game went through a hellish development and what we got was far from what Wayforward planned to make, but it's hard to imagine a world where this was the technical BEST Shantae game. It's not a bad game by any stretch... just a boring one.

For the record my ranking of the games goes Pirates Curse>Half Genie Hero>Seven Sirens>Original>Risky’s Revenge

Sword and Shield are mediocre games at best. I know, real steaming hot take there. I managed to make my Sword playthrough a lot more fun by not spoiling myself on the new Pokemon designs for the first time since Gen 3. Either way, I enjoyed myself enough that I didn't mind playing more of it with these DLC campaigns. Plus I love the idea of Game Freak switching over to this method as apposed to making a third version, so I wanted to support it. 

Klara is a fucking top tier Poke Girl both in design and personality and is probably the highlight of Isle of Armour. GF actually went out of their way to give her multiple expressions to sell her toxic bitch personality and I love every minute of it. She sadly drifts into the background for the second half of the DLC’s story which hurts an already rough section even more. Not more then having to grind Kubfuu all the way to fucking level 70 though! That put a serious hamper on my motivation to finish the story but I pushed through anyway. Having to solo the tower with Kubfuu was at least a fun challenge though, as was the final fight with Mustard. Fuck the Diglett hunt though. Ain’t no one got time for that.

Crown Tundra may be my fav of the 2 though even if there isn't a character as good as Klara in it. The hunt for the legendaries was just pure adventure and I had a fucking blast doing it. The joy I felt when I figured out Registeel’s puzzle put a smile on my face unlike any Pokemon game since I was a kid. The whole Regi stuff was honestly a nice Nostalgia trip to my times with Emerald. The story around Calyrex was enjoyable, even if I still hate its design. Not revealing the horses before release was a good call to as it gave an honest surprise. Having to chase down the Galar forme Birds in the overworld is a great way to evolve the roaming legendaries idea and I hope GF sticks to this. Plus the Galar forme birds are some of the best legendary designs since Gen 5 and I love Chocodos way to fucking much. 

Here we are folks, my GotY. I love Panzer Paladin so fucking much. A combination of mechanics from Mega Man, Castlevania, and Blaster Master? Sign me the fuck up! This game is tailored made for me and I knew I had to play it once it started making the rounds on social media. I'll admit though, I was a bit worried when the the first full trailer dropped and showed the weapon mechanics. Breakable weapons that you have to sacrifice for checkpoints and power ups? I'm not sure about that.... Luckily I was being a complete moron and those mechanics are near perfect. 

I love the set up of each boss being a mythological creature from different cultures. They didn’t just pull the easy ones either. A lot of these things I learned of for the first time here. I love how Grit controls. Using the upward stab as a double jump and being able to pogo off enemies Shovel Knight style just felt great and satisfying. Flame was limited but it made her sections feel tense. She does more damage then you think she could at first glance. Also the only way to heal Grit being to use pods that only Flame could access was a cool idea. 

I am begging you Tribute Games, you have to make more Panzer Paladin games. Slap some new upgrades on Grit and expand what Flame can do and you have an even better sequel  on your hands. Also maybe not have so many 'gotcha' moments with enemy placement. That's really my only complaint about the game. Great music, great sprites, giant robots, unique premise, and a reference to Canadian legends. The ultimate self indulgent game for me.

It felt super out of left field for Curse of the Moon to be getting a sequel. The games fucking amazing but it was really just a tie in for the main Bloodstained product. Not something I expect to get a continuation. Either way I was pumped. If this was even half as good as the original then I was in for a great time. Which held true... cuss this legitimately is only half as good as Curse of the Moon. I still like the game, quite a lot actually. I mean how could I not with a fucking Corgi piloting a Death Train Mech. 

Something was just missing here that never made this click like the first game. Maybe it was the stage design, maybe the bosses, maybe the fact that it's a bit to long. I'm not sure. All I know is I couldn't bring myself to play all the modes like I did in the original. . Stopping part way in to the one where you can get the first games characters. I want to go back some day... I just don’t know when someday is.

This was an announcement I never saw coming. A Gundam Verses game coming to the west? That hasn't happened in the entire time I've been a Gundam fan. I had played a bit of Full Boost on my old roommates PS3 thanks to him having a Japanese account and I played Force on the Vita a few years ago. But to have the latest version fully translated with open servers? Holy hell that's a dream come true. 

Having the open betas every weekend leading up to launch was some much needed fun during this shit hole year. I had a lot of fun just fucking around with different suits and seeing what I could do with 'em. Absolutely trashing two Bael players as the Kapool is a memory I'll keep with me for a long time. Fucking danced on their graves. This gave me some new appreciation for suits like the Baund Doc and Hambrabi, the later becoming a lowkey fav as it was my main.

I've fallen off with the game in the last few months but I definitely want to go back. I hope to start learning the game and take parts in tourneys when cons aren’t death sentences anymore.

It felt like everything in my life was SCREAMING at me to start the Yakuza series. From 2 of my friends playing 0 recently, a youtuber I following live tweeting as he played through the WHOLE series back-to-back, and Yakuza 2 having a run at AGDQ 2020. Plus the constant pleas to play this series you get from following Little Kuriboh on Twitter. I finally broke and picked up 0 in the middle of August. Boooooooooy howdy did I not know what I was getting in to. And no I don't mean the content. I knew Yakuza was a series of wildly conflicting tones between the main story and side quests. What I mean is the length. I legit thought this was gonna be a 20-30 hour game. When i reached hour 30 of my playthrough and realized I wasn't even close to a conclusion, I think I knew I had bitten off more then I was planning. That misstep aside I ended up loving this game and want to play the rest of the series.... I just need to rest up first before I dive into Kiwami 1.

 Let's actually talk about the game for a moment here. Kiryu and Majima quickly clicked as likeable characters to me and I cared about their stories. Combat is fun and the multiple styles are all great.... though both the default styles take a while to get there. The mad rush I felt at the end was fantastic and the last bosses are a joy to fight. Only real complaint is the pacing of the side stories. I loved being able to just stumble into various different events while on route to the next plot objective. But this became less common as the game went on and side stories started getting more tucked away. Also hot take here, the host club mingame is more tedious then fun and I like Kiryu’s business stuff as I could do that in the background. I’m excited to dive into Kiwami and probably Kiwami 2 this year... Though I’m not sure when just yet.

Just gonna say it flat out, I think this is better the the 2018 game. The smaller scale helps in this style of game and Miles just naturally has a better move set then Peter. I'm not sure if they actually tightened up the combat system or if they just threw less bullshit enemies at you but fighting feels so much better in this one. Traversal is better too,  simply because they changed the button for tricks. In the original you have to hold down 2 face buttons to enter trick mode??? In hindsight that was such a bad call. 

Having both the heal and venom powers run off the same meter was a good idea. Making the choice between keeping yourself alive guaranteed or potentially ending a fight quicker/disposing of a problem enemy is super fun. The player having to make small choices like this during combat is what helps it not be brainless. I love all the different venom skills you get. While they all achieve the same thing in stunning opponents, how you achieve that goal is up to you. Do you want to just slug the bastard, throw 'em up in the air, tackle the shit out of them? The choice is yours. 

Only real big complaint is certain upgrades being NG+ locked. I know you want to encourage replays, but this is a shitty way to do it I feel. Also can we retire Rhino for the next game. Man has had 2 shitty boss fights now and I need a break. Between this and Spider-Verse, I'm honestly starting to like Miles as Spider-Man more then Peter.

I got this game more on a whim then anything. I was definitely interested when it was first announced for the west. Vanillaware's beautiful art style in a story about giant robots beating the shit out of Kaijus? Sign me the fuck uuuuuu-oh wait it's an RTS? I had never played an RTS's before, mainly due to the sheer concept stressing me out. So I let it fall to the wayside. The game started coming up again though towards the end of the year with GotY on everyone's minds.  This revived my interest, especially as what I HAD planned to be playing around that time was... well. Cyberpunk. Don't think I need to say much more. Also I had worried for nothing as the Real Time Strategy was not that Real Time. 

This game really lays on the analysis paralysis once you're out of the tutorial. Do you want to fight, do you want to do story, who's story do you want to do, what branch should you follow, how much should you play with this one character? It's very overwhelming at first. I decided to not go ham on just one character and swap around all the time. The twists in this game are equal parts exciting and infuriating. Learning something new always came with the caveat of more questions, or something you knew 'for sure' being disproven. Like when I learned 1 characters was actually 4 separate ones! Anyone that's played knows exactly what I'm talking about. 

Natsuno ended up being my fav and not just because of.... obvious reasons. BJ was cute if unfortunately named and her relationship with Mirua was my favourite in the game. Not that there was much competition except for maybe Ogata and Tomi. I ended up really liking the combat but I can see why RTS fans say it's the weakest part. It's far from complex and I had a winning strat by the third or so real fight. Aka spam turrets and have the Gen 1′s gank all the bosses.

One quick thing I want to share was how I beat the boss at the end of Area 2. The one where Inaba is singing. I had Hijiyama use the limit break skill to bum rush the boss right off the hop. I took out half its health in one hit but Hijiyama’s Sentinel was on death’s door. Only thing that saved him was sending in Amaguchi to blow up a bunch of missiles. Hijiyama took it out on his next attack but lost his Sentinel at the same time. It was a real clutch victory and crazy fucking anime. 

The best way to really describe Carrion is that it's a fantastic proof of concept. Can you make a game where you play as The Thing? Why yes, yes you can. Carrion just needed a bit more tweaking to really bring this concept home and be the A+ game I know it can be. As it is now the game is a bit empty. The level design is super samey and the lack of a map is fucking brutal at points. I know it would make no sense for a blob monster to have a map but somethings you just have to gameify for convenience. The level design must have done something right as even though I was completely lost I still moved from area to area properly. Hell by the time I actually looked up a map I had 1 more item to get and I learned I was one door away from beating the game. 

I love the idea of losing mass as you take damage and gaining more by eating people, but having abilities tied to size was a terrible idea. It just leads to tedium as I have to go and shed myself to the right size, do the puzzle, then of course I'm going to go back and rebuild myself to see if I can do the next segment at full power. Just make it so you can swap between abilities using the d-pad or something. I hope this game gets a sequel just so this sick ass concept can be fully realized.