#anyway go forth and make
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Ok sorry but hold on a sec while I get real neuroscience/social psychology-ey about this.
So I have been a good 'drawer' since I was very young, but I also have a keen interest in psychology for mental health (and honestly autism) reasons. I think one of the most formative things I've ever done in my young life with regards to my perspectives with art, was read Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards. At like, 13 (see what I mean about the autism? lol).
Did I need this book considering I'd gotten into my high-school with a literal art scholarship with my demonstrated skill? No. But I was interested in the neuroscience perspective of art + if there was anything I could draw from it that would help my own art improve.
I don't remember the specifics, but my main takeaways were this:
Absolutely no one pops out of the womb with innate art skill. Like language and reading, it is a developed skill, not born out of biological necessity. Natural talent doesn't exist.
Because skill in art tends to be devalued in western society across the board ('starving artist' mentality, how shittily VFX artists have been treated for years, OpenAI already knowing how to ask for permission to make an AI ethical because they were scared of the music industry but threw that out the window crawling for training data for stable-diffusion, how art is constantly stolen and reposted with 'credit to the artist!' without actually linking or crediting said artist - LITERALLY TAKE YOUR PICK) being artistic is not encouraged. As children we all draw (to make art is human, I sincerely believe this), but there will be a point where it goes from being an encouraged part of child development to 'this is a childish waste of time' and actively discouraged as a poor career choice. If you wondered why most people's artistic skill level is 'frozen' and can only draw like an 8 year old - this is why.
The reason people remain stuck in this frozen state is lack of education, because our societal structure doesn't emphasize the use of art. It's considered 'optional' or a 'hobby'. It's not a critical part of the curriculum like math or english. Reading and mathematics are not innate skills either, they have to be trained. The difference here is you straight up just did not get any education to make progress.
As an adult, we tend to get discouraged when we can't draw well at all for all the aforementioned reasons and give up (or if you're extra scummy, make AI art and claim artists are 'gatekeeping' as your excuse) but the only difference between you and someone who can draw, like me, is I grew up in an environment where drawing was encouraged, not torn down as a 'childish activity'. So I've literally spent most of my childhood practicing, that's the only reason I draw better. I just have more years of practice under my belt.
There's no such thing as talent in art. You might be able to pick colours well instinctively, heck you might be a tetrachromat (like I suspect I am) giving you an advantage that is innate and biological. But beyond that I honestly believe the only talent you can have is being stubborn and doggedly aiming for and perusing your goals, even when you feel discouraged. You will always see what is wrong in your own art, no matter if you started drawing seriously yesterday or 30 years ago. It's what I call 'the curse of the artist's eye' - but it is a good thing, because it means you still have room for improvement! You still have things to learn! If you think something about your art is shit, use that as motivation. Learn from the experience. Go find drawing books about the thing you're weak at drawing. Come at it from a different angle, utilize references. Keenly observe what you're looking at.
Also lastly, the most important one: the biggest barrier to improvement for most people is having to wind back years of ingrained symbology and actually start seeing. What do I mean by this? When you draw a portrait of yourself, ears, eyes, nose, etc. you aren't drawing your face at all - you're drawing a collection of learned symbols, the representation of an eye, a nose, a mouth, that you may have learned at 8 years old - then never progressed further. To break out of this you have to stop seeing 'eyes' and 'noses' you have to start seeing shapes and lines. One of the activities to demonstrate this in the book was to take a picture of a still life scene or something and do your best to draw it. Then take that picture, flip it upside-down and draw it again but upside-down. Generally comparing the two pictures, the upside-down version always had a drastic improvement - because you basically forced your brain out of using recognized, ingrained symbols and had to rely on shapes and structure instead.
Also as a side note: Having ingrained symbols isn't a bad thing - it's the backbone of artist style. But this is why most professional artists, even with highly stylized style recommend learning anatomy and doing life drawing first - because they have spent time learning to understand how things actually look and improving their skill, before basically developing a symbolic shorthand. I can usually tell my symbolic associations are getting too strong or I've 'forgotten' how to draw things when I start getting a lot of 'same face syndrome' in my art. That's usually a sign I need to go hit the books, practice drawing from life again so I can remember that. I don't just practice drawing eyes once and never do it again - I probably do a refresher, at minimum, once a year. And each year it gets a bit better.
So that's it. Talent doesn't exist, everyone can draw - all you gotta do is be stubborn enough to keep learning. Go forth and draw shit!
No really, this is literally it - in my lifetime I've infected at least three people with the drawing bug telling people this, girl in my italian class went from going 'I wish I could draw' to sitting next to me in fine arts in my final year of school. Just practice dude - and be stubborn about it.
truly the best thing to say to someone who self-deprecatingly tells you they "can't draw" is "why?"
#kerytalk#ugh this tag is becoming a thing#apparently it's wordvomit week idk lmao#SORRY I'M ROLLING THROUGH HERE LIKE PLATO AT THE SYMPOSIUM#got another wholeass thing on the backburner to write about dating actually hfhfhknkkfdnfk#anyway go forth and make#art#I'd probably be good at video essays if I had the confidence for said video essays#I will research and cite for fun#no hbomberguy coming for me lmao#my commentary
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Thinking about how Dani's episode is called Kindred Spirits, which implies that her unique narrative role is to mirror Danny and act as a foil to him, and then the episode is like "Here's some āØsuperficial similaritiesāØ. She is now going to leave the plot entirely and be šhomelessš"
#danny phantom#text#controversial opinion ahead but...#i think the reason i don't vibe with certain takes on Dani is because a lot of them are like#''yeah she's her own unique person and going by a different name and is definitely not Danny <3''#but then they make her LIVE with him. like??? how is she her own person when she's living exactly the same life as the guy she's based on?#living in the same house with the same parents and the same older sister and the same school and the same town and the same powers??#you could argue that siblings are their own people despite sharing all of those things BUT THEY'RE NOT SIBLINGS. she is his CLONE.#there is inherent thematic baggage there that wouldn't be a factor in a mere sibling dynamic!#i feel like Dani would find it unbelievably stifling and I think it's high key the worst thing that could happen to her character.#even more than being fridged and homeless. because at least then you could fill in those blanks with anything more interesting.#She's at her most effective when she is able to stand on the other side of the fence and mirror Danny.#what makes her fascinating to me is her potential role as a foil. Her similarities to Danny are interesting only when they're#in a different context. Not when she's literally just living his life!#(my dislike of this trope is mostly directed at Butch Hartman because I can't believe a lot of fans actually APPROVE#of his alleged comment that Dani ''Fenton'' would have become canon eventually. Like when did we as a fandom start listening to him?#I took it as an admission he had no plans to do anything meaningful with Dani. She was never intended to b more than an accessory to Danny.#anyway don't mind me. The beauty of fandom is in its diversity of interpretations. i don't mean to yuck anyone's yum!#go forth and use Dani's character how you see fit. she needs more love lol
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i really donāt think itās ātypical dragon age fandom nonsenseā for people to be genuinely upset about the world state choices. combat, level design, art direction, gameplay gimmicks, those have all varied across each dragon age game. the one thing thatās remained constant are nods to our previous choices.
i wasnāt expecting my HoF to come riding in on a griffon, but i canāt find a monument dedicated to warden tabris somewhere around the anderfels? lucanis couldnāt have some lines about the time that one arainai boy was stirring up trouble in antiva city? youāre gonna tell me that making a mage the new divine wouldnāt have some impact on nevarra and antiva? on the anderfels, the supposed most devout militant andrastian nation in thedas? youāre saying nobody in the north is paying attention to who rules orlais or ferelden? come on.
#dragon age#yes iāve seen john eplerās explanation on only wanting to carry forward choices that they could āreally do something with.ā#and i understand what heās saying and iām curious to see how those 3 choices they brought forward will impact the story!!#but iām still disappointed. and i think telling people why they shouldnāt be disappointed is just gonna make them More disappointed.#also donāt really appreciate dev comments like ācareful what you wish for with cameos. it just gives us an excuse to find new and horrific#ways to kill your faves teehee š¤š¤ā like okay???????? what???#alistair came back twice & could be fine both times. loghainās inquisition cameo was so meaningful because who the hell expected to see him#again? leliana can straight up die in origins and yall brought her back anyways. like what are we doing out here.#also when i think of ātypicalā nonsense for this fandom itās people doxxing each other over fictional character opinions. or what#fictional side your fictional inquistor took in the fictional mage-templar war. or just plain old racism.#NOT ādamn itās fucking upsetting that this excited replay iāve been doing of the previous games and all the recommending iāve been doing#for new fans to play the other games before veilguard has turned out to be pretty fucking pointless.ā#might as well tell someone to watch a letās play of trespasser and thatās it.#11/26 in a hater mood so iām turning rbs back on lol. go forth & be petty
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so Iām a BIG fan of apocalyptic landscapes and unrealistically large megastructures so I
BACK TO THE USUAL STYLE YAYYYY and my comfort zone landscapes
I meant to lock in and do hw I swear
BUT THE VOICES DEMANDED I DRAW CONCEPT ART
@keferon apocalyptic ponyo au
#fellas!! is it gay to explore a ruined city with your human pal and show off flirtatiously?#apocalyptic ponyo#blurr#swerve#fullmetal bartenders#I kept going back and forth on who to throw in this#before deciding on those 2#and ended up making them so small it didnāt matter too much anyways oop#so eirily still#what a lovely scene of potential energy I canāt wait for some unsuspecting travelers to get caught in a collapse-#but the vibes??? Iām eating this au up guys#2 arts in one week#never seen before from me
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you know what I find fascinating about how Helen is talked about in the works in the epic cycle?
everyone has argued to death over whether she was kidnapped, went willingly, was influenced/controlled/threatened by Aphrodite, whatever, but the thing is the actual TEXTS can't seem to make up their minds on Helen. everyone will be cursing Helen's name as an unfaithful wife and destroyer of men in Agamemnon but then Paris will be called a "robber-rapist" which would obviously heavily imply that he stole and assaulted her (plus the part where Clytemnestra basically says "shut the fuck up about Helen she didn't force you to do all that", although how much we're supposed to agree with her is debatable). In Iphigenia In Aulis we're going to war to get REVENGE on the Trojans AND HELEN but then Agamemnon will accuse Menelaus of "lust(ing) only to hold a lovely woman in (his) arms", calls him crazy for wanting her back, and then when Menelaus changes his mind about killing Iphigenia to get the winds back he says "Could I not obtain A perfect marriage elsewhere, if I longed for Marrying? But a brother whom I should Most cherish, I was about to forfeit To gain a Helen, so bartering excellence For evil" which is still pretty spiteful towards Helen but also really fucking weird to say if he only wanted her back to kill or otherwise punish her. Then, in the same play, the Greeks are described as wanting to sail to Troy so "That they may halt the plunder of marriage beds And the rape and seizure of Greek women" which would also imply Helen was, in fact, raped and seized, otherwise why would it be phrased like that and not like, "seduced" or "whisked away" or whatever? In Orestes Elektra and Orestes interpret Helen's actions in the worst possible light while when Helen actually speaks she seems generally sympathetic towards them, distraught and grieving over the whole situation, and claims that she went because Aphrodite made her mad, which could absolutely be a lie, but the thing is we just don't know who's the unreliable narrator here Is this a translation thing? Indicative of a really weird idea of what rape is? Is this an intentional writing choice? This got me to thinking and then I realized that if Menelaus was away when Helen left then he almost certainly doesn't actually know what happened. He didn't see or hear what happened, he doesn't get a chance to talk to Helen and have her explain until after the war, and obviously none of the other Greeks would know for sure either, right? And I just think it is kind of a missed opportunity that adaptations don't really do anything with this kind of unspoken conflict at all. Paris the Musical kind of does (Menelaus believes Helen was abducted when she ended up begrudgingly going with Paris trying to help him to escape) but like, why do all the greek men have one idea of Helen in adaptations? Why don't they argue about it? Why don't they question Menelaus about his motivations more? What if (especially if Aphrodite fucked with her head, as I am one to believe) Helen doesn't even trust herself on her own intentions? What if Menelaus tears himself up debating this with himself every night? Like, could I trust that she wouldn't do this to me and our daughter? Is it better that my wife doesn't love me anymore and is safe with her new lover, or that she does but is trapped against her will having who knows what done to her? Do I know my wife anymore? Did I ever know her in the first place? What if he lays eyes on Helen, his Helen, for the first time in ten years and his sword slips from his grasp as he realizes that yes, of course he knows her, how could he have ever doubted? Or maybe he still doesn't know if he knows her, but maybe he doesn't need to, because he knows that she is tired and scared, and he still loves her, and he just wants to take her back to their home? What then? Hm?
#ok FUCK this turned into a long ass meta and shameless Helen and Menelaus posting that took me so long to write#im just saying if you wanted to you could make their arc about Trust#theres so many directions you could go with this#him being sure Helen was kidnapped at first and frantic to rescue her but doubt and resentment slowly creeping in#over time that comes to a boiling point by the time of the siege but leaves him when they reunite and he sees the look on her face#or maybe he initially thinks she cheated and is furious with her and he wants to keep being furious but he can't help but fear for her#in his heart of hearts#or maybe he flips back and forth and everyone else is like Oh my gods Menelaus shut the fuck up about your wife#CMON PEOPLE im giving you FREE IDEAS#ANYWAY. GASPS FOR AIR#im not a classicist this is just the musings of an autistic 20 year old who just got into this#greek mythology#mythology#menelaus#the iliad#the epic cycle#homeric epics#menelaus of sparta#tagamemnon#helen of sparta#helen of troy#helen of argos#ilium the musical#the trojan war#greek myth retellings#greek myths#text post#rambling#meta#kind of????
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A belief in Nominative Determinsim
#mira & isa sitting at the other side of the room: oh that cannot be a healthy rationalisation. someone should deconstruct that QUICKLY...#change's strongest soldiers VERSUS one guy echo chambering themselves about a susperstition-based retributive model of the world. GO!!!#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#sloops#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#hey look now. this is softer than usual isnt it? ignore the. ignore the subtle damnation of blame unto the self. its fine. theyre fine#this is in fact a slight adaptation of that headcanon of mine i linked! yep! turns out the way to comic-ise it was to. make it like#90% speech bubble and get kinda weird with the formatting. it's clunky and experimental but hey. im experimenting.#the next ones gonna have even more fucking speech bubbles if it goes how im planning. christ#then its gonna get followed up with something wordless so. all things in perfect balance.#DISCLAIMER: i like to write loop and siffrin displaying the maybe not so great logic-holes their seeming fear of 'retribution for not#sticking to (the script) what the universe intends for them' entails. i do not agree with their weird philosophising.#i in fact think this is . bad for them. and am exploring how fucking unhealthy their mindset seems to be even when 'mundane'#OCD siffrin real as hell whats with the doing arbitrary actions in specific ways lest Something Nebulously Bad Happen little dude?#anyway if you caught the extremely blunt symbolism of kissing a hand with a knife in it you win a prize! it's called self-satisfaction šš#hmm. do people realise i kept calling this type of back and forth between siffrin and loop a socratic dialogue bc socrates was also just#arguing with himself? like he was just making up the other guys. complete thought experiment. i also call them that because theyre WORDY!!!
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one small step for. kitties
#mine#cats#i was gna share th process vid of this but its just 90% drawing little dots not thrilling#anyway i had a Day today but we live we go forth !!#i am going to try a new journal thing bc th hobonichi hasnt been slaying ngl . i might b a filofax girlie#ive bought a 2nd hand one off ebay for 12Ā£ which will Do For Now to see if actually like it#i need to figure out th sizing of my pages im gna make my own....brain is so so small#i was gna do mini pages for daily journaling but i think ive excepted i am not. gna journal everyday like thats not happening#n then what happens when im then using dated journals is i fall behind n then i hve such an atrocious memory i cant remember what i did#like 3 days prior to back fill so its lots of empty pages and AAAA#ironic that i am journaling to help my symptoms but my symptoms r stopping me from journaling. can i win once#anyway i think this system will be better yes yes
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Annabelle and Butch almost kissed once.
Really, you could say they almost kissed several times, when one of them let their thoughts drift just a little too far and very nearly went for it. But there was only one that really counted.
It was night. The two sat outside, watching the stars. Butch was talking. Telling a story, maybe. Annabelle was staring at her friend. She was awful handsome, with the way her hair curled over her forehead and the way her hands moved about as she talked, and something about the gleam in her eye is just so enticing, and really it's not Annabelle's fault that she couldn't help but lean in. She just had to capture that spark in Butch's eyes, the one that seemed to appear whenever she saw Annabelle. Butch wasn't talking anymore, she noticed, just staring at Annabelle with a look of surprise and adoration and longing that made Annabelle feel warm and fuzzy all the way down to her toes. They were very close, suddenly. Butch's face was red. Annabelle's heart was thumping out a steady beat saying kiss her, kiss her, kiss her. Butch let out a shakey breath and Annabelle opened her mouth to say something along the lines of I love you. But what came out of her mouth instead was:
"Butch...do you wanna rob a bank?"
And just like that, the moment broke. But neither of them ever forgot that moment, that almost-kiss under the stars.
#can you tell they're driving me insane#they make me SICK#anyway enjoy this is my first time writing anything like this but I tried my best#inspired by a fic called I Hatch A Plan Romantically by audax on ao3 you should all go read it right now it's so good trust#shoot from the hip#never give annabelle a gun#annabutch#sfth annabelle#sfth butch#ngl I kept going back and forth over whether or not to post this#because some part of my brain is convinced that everything I write is awful and should never be seen by anyone#but then I remember that this fandom is wonderful and lovely#also I wanted to write this and if your writing isn't self-indulgent sometimes then what's the point?#so please enjoy this half fic thingy
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500 notes on this and you write that angsty mars fanfic
JKDHGHOIJWEHBGEHUIWO FINE!
sigh im making the deadline to 5th May despite knowing this will reach half the goal in under an hour
#reblog attack#notes attack#mars#smarti-marti#ive never written a fanfic b4 and i have original story ideas but school killed my motivation i trust this to motivate me now-#starting off with a fanfic is good coz ion need to make up a whole ah character yk#ahem- anyways go forth and blast my notifs folks
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i have a hand-me-down metal colander that i really love and use all the time, but a couple weeks ago one of the handles snapped off so now it's both kinda awkward to carry + the area it broke is fairly sharp. i really didn't want to get rid of it, so i thought fuck it and stopped at this auto body/wrecker/whatever it's called place that's on my way home from work and was like "hi lmao sorry if this is so weird or i'm bothering you, but could i pay you guys to weld a handle back on to a colander?"
and not only did they do it for me, the guy was like "i'm not charging you for that. it was 2 seconds. what would i even put on the bill? 'fixed a gal's spaghetti bowl'? no way, it's on the house." so yaaay ā„
#jj stuff#it took me about 5 days of anxious deliberation going back and forth between telling myself#''this is stupid. they will say no AND make fun of you for asking something so dumb''#and ''bitch just go ask the worst they'll say is no. just go! be brave and find out!''#AND IT WORKED!!!#anyways i don't know why i love it so much bc it's got this stand on the bottom (which is nice)#but also it means there's a solid ring around the bottom where liquid doesn't drain so you have to tilt it a bunch. it's not very good#but it's sturdy and a pretty colour
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2025 reads / storygraph
Something Extraordinary
historical platonic-romcom
an aromantic woman tired of feeling unworthy when the people closest to her leave her behind for romance, and a gay man in unrequited love who is planning on giving up and marrying a woman in misery and drunkenness
she kidnaps him the day before the marriage to stop him ruining his life, suggesting that they get platonically married instead - and on the ridiculous journey to scotland to elope, they have to convince each other if itās what is best for them, and what they want out of life/love/and friendship
#something extraordinary#alexis hall#aroaessidhe 2025 reads#aromantic books#platonic-romcom that really delves into the characters and their relationship and itās JUST what I crave so much#itās the kind of aromantic narrative I want more of.#Someone whoās (mostly) content in their identity AND the narrative actively discusses and explores amatonormativity and being aro#(rather than just internalised arophobia; or aro but itās barely part of the narrative)#I have read the first book in this trilogy and it was okay but not really my vibe; I skipped the second because of this.#I realise belle has some background development in that one but. well#I think this third book as the conclusion of her arc has the most important part of it to me#I appreciate how well this managed to have them both at separate points have to convince the other that eloping is a good idea#really digging into their characters and not feeling completely like ridiculous back and forth#(though of course itās pretty ridiculous in many ways being the kind of book it is)#itās very heavy on the witty regency banter which is fun to an extent but thereās a bit much for me - I guess I knew this going in#The pacing at the end is a bit weird with multiple timeskips.#I feel like it could have padded that out a little more and removed some of the earlier bits#Some of those parts like re: his parents felt like they could have used a bit More to them.#I also appreciate the āfuck you for planning to punish yourself by getting married to a woman without thinking about#what thatās like for herā from MULTIPLE women lmao#aro woman x gay man friendships are very important to me. good dynamic.#anyway. did make me cry aromantically
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hate becomin rabidly into movies that were made near 20 years before I was born cause who the hell am I gonna lose my mind to? blorbo so old the fandom consists of me n my dad
#im kiddin im kiddin#however#it is real real funny to go hey! just watched top gun!#maverick real funny huh!#n look over n my dad is foamin at the mouth#i told him id watched it n he said hed been subconsciously tryin to make me watch top gun for my entire life#so#safe to say i made his day#anyways#you guys should kick a blorbo back n forth with your dad#its real funny#ill tell ya that#top gun 1986#top gun maverick#pete maverick mitchell
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What fic ideas do you have for Belinda?
i got annoyed about ummmm aspects of 15's whole run so i've decided to write out a 2 series (13 eps each + specials) long au in which bel & ruby travel w 15 at the same time lol
#asks#fryferbfringefan44#unsure whether to make each 'ep' it's own story or to do them as chapters#there's only 16 canon eps so i gotta make at least 10 more & it's fun! i'm having fun!#i'm also rewriting a bunch of stuff#like i have to anyway but also i didn't want it to be like 'ruby ep but bel is there too' & 'bel ep but ruby is there too'#dot & bubble and 73 yards are my sticking points bc i don't really want to change them in any meaningful way?#so i'll have to see how to approach those#also i'm starting post devil's chord i'm leaving those 2 exactly the same except for it's only been like a month#bc the 6 month gap was such a wild choice to make ngl#this also means that the 2 finales are flipped! fun implications of that#hm sorry for rambling i've just got really into this project lmao#like honestly going back & forth on whether to cap it at just 2 series#anyway#doctor who
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Here's canon in-universe pronunciations for most character names I've mentioned more than once, the Faces of God, and Wardi provinces
(character names spoken in typical surname->given name order)
#I've gone back and forth on the pronunciations of Hibrides and Janeys and on the emphasis for Couya so this is it set in stone. For now#Also Wardi used to not have a flapped R but I kept finding myself using it anyway which honestly makes more sense with the linguistic#influences. You flap the R sound in almost all cases where it is both preceded and followed by a vowel sound (exceptions are on an#individual word scale) and most cases where it precedes a vowel. You Usually do not when it precedes a consonant.#So like the Rs in Hibrides and Tigran are flapped but not in Uryashta#A lot of these aren't Wardi names either but most are being pronounced here as they are in Wardi dialects (with the exception#of Ne-Dain Brakul (which would be harder on the 'Ne' and the L in Brakul) Etsushir (which wouldn't have the soft Y at the beginning#and would probably end with a flapped R] and Palo Apolynnon (which would use the /a/ sound instead of /Ʀ/ and many dialects#would go with 'leen-non' instead of 'leenyon')
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Laurence's Ls (stands for both lieutenants and losers)
I like these 4 maybe. Perhaps. I enjoy them I think
#should Riley be dead since Granby is missing his arm? yes#However! Idk I just wanted to draw him like that. artistic liberty etcetc#they would never realistically pose like this anyways#idk whats going on with Ferris' face either disiak let him be cheeky#my art#temeraire#henry ferris#forthing temeraire#john granby#tom riley#man having all their names next to each other really makes it so much more painful forthing never got a first name djsjsks#oh well. he is Edmund
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a pensive babygirlā¢
[picture source]
#OFMD#Our Flag Means Death#Edward Teach#Taika Waititi#BACK AT IT AGAIN AT KRISPY KREME#but man he's really going through it huh shdjklsdjsk#babygirl your thoughts are LOUD#like at that point he's probably realized that he feels SOMETHING for stede#but hasn't ENTIRELY admitted it to himself yet#he just knows that he feels safe around him and happy and fluttery#and subsequently wants to make STEDE feel safe and happy and fluttery too#but he's probably still warring with himself in that moment because#1. he doesn't think he's allowed to have any of that for a plethora of reasons#2. he's still likely very much in his 'i'm unlovable' back and forth and is like 'okay well there's no way it'd be mutual anyway'#and so he thinks that he has to move on#that he HAS to go back into the life everyone expects from him#but something is really aching at the prospect--at the prospect of having to move on from stede#but he probably still feels like he has to#i jUST HSJKLDHSDJKLS
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