#anyway fixed it by plugging my headphones in

[love-bitesx]

Hey, luv ur last Hobie writing it was so good! so like as a request (sorry if my wording is a bit awk ive never requested anything on tumblr b4😭) hobie x fem reader (or not gendered i dont mind) on like what it would be like putting Hobie on music as a reader that listens to a ton of genres and not mainly punk rock- like would he be open minded on it etc. and also what falling asleep w him with music in the background would be like and stuff. like a little one-shot on that (or hc’s!)

: ̗̀➛ OPEN-MINDED

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

gonna hug every anon/req ever i love u lot so much <3 this is kind of just a ranty headcanon one shot. thing. i think. we'll find out. i think im physically incapable of writing a short one shot, i just love this guy too much thank u for the req!!! love u also, this is strictly my headcanon and my opinion, if there's something canon that contradicts this, my apologies!! this is just a bit of fun :)

i think he'd be somewhat open-minded, but he'd have his strict no-nos. pop music being that, or anything on the radio, he tells you it's just propaganda from the 'system'. remember, this guy is an anarchist, plus so much more.

having grown up in england, london specifically, i think he'd be partial to uk hip hop, grime, garage, alt rock, alternative music, etc. anything that sparks a bit of controversy. anything from the streets, the people. plenty of those genres stem from rock'n'roll music anyway, so i wouldn't be surprised.

however.

you're laying in your room one night, it's dark outside, the night crawling in as a gentle breeze drifts through your open window. headphones plugged into your phone, you scrolled through a newly made playlist, brows furrowed in thought as you tried to remember anymore songs you wanted to add.

humming along to the tune echoing in the headset, you were absolutely zoned out. it wasn't until a large pair of hands grabbed your waist, did you crash back down to earth. ripping the headphones off your head, you jumped back in defense.

"what did i tell you about leaving your window open, y/n?" hobie scolded you, a playful smirk on his lips, standing up straight, looking down at you, "could've been any dickhead coming in here, y'know?"

"not just any dickhead can scale 7 floors and climb in through my window, hobie," you rolled your eyes, fixing the mess you made when you threw your headphones and phone on the bed.

"yeah," he leant down, until his face was but an inch from your own, "only the really bad ones can."

with that, and a devilish grin, he pressed his lips against yours, using his advantage to push you backwards onto the bed, climbing on, making himself comfortable on the mattress next to you, holding you close to him. your hands went to his chest, feeling it rise and fall under your touch.

"i missed you," he muttered between kisses, his piercing ice cold against your lips, sending chills down your spine.

"i missed you, too, hobie," you whispered back, welcoming his touch on your waist.

pulling back with a smirk, he reached for the phone in your hand, opening it up.

"what were you listening to so intensely?" he quizzed, but his question was instantly answered at the name of the playlist you had made.

for hobie

"oh."

to say he was stunned, was an understatement. this was new to him, no one had ever made him a specially made playlist before, no one had gone to the effort. his heart swelled. scrolling through, he saw an array of artists that he hadn't even heard of before, mixes of genres that he knew you loved.

"sorry, it's really silly," you dismissed, reaching for your phone at his blunt response, suddenly feeling a wave of insecurity.

his eyes snapped to yours, shocked at your reaction, "what? no, absolutely not."

though his stomach twisted slightly at the thought of listening to lana del rey? whoever that was, he wasn't sure, but the fact you listened to it, thought of him, and thought of him so much you made it into a playlist dedicated to him? well, he'd be an idiot to refuse that.

"i love it, darlin', thank you," his smile was soft, genuine, one you only see him give to you, which is why you loved it so dearly.

"baby, who's kendrick lamar?"

BONUS #1

it was a late night, you were exhausted from working all day, and the 7 staircase climb wasn't ideal, now that the elevator in your block had stopped working. dumping all your stuff in the living room, quickly throwing on some clothes from the dryer and a quick bathroom visit, you nudged open the door to your bedroom.

you knew hobie was crashing at yours, it was more rare when he wasn't.

what you didn't expect was the sound of mellow, soft music coming from inside. continuing quietly, you peered around the door to see your boyfriend, barely under the covers, sound asleep on your bed. eyes scanning the room, you saw his phone, open on the mattress beside him.

silently stepping over, your heart melted at what you saw on his phone screen. the playlist you had made him, shuffled, playing through the speakers on his phone.

chest warm and full of adoration for this man, you leant down to place a kiss on his temple, smiling at the way his body reacted to your touch.

he was an angel, of sorts.

BONUS #2

though you complained about it at first, hobie would definitely need music to fall asleep to. sometimes he was so tired that the second his head hit the pillows and his arms wrapped themselves around you, he was asleep. but mainly, he played music from the speakers in either of your rooms.

the only issue with this, however, is that his music was never stereotypical sleeping music.

whilst only on a low volume, just something to keep his mind from fuzzing too much as he tried to sleep, you weren't a stranger to falling asleep to the likes of ramones, dead kennedys, motörhead, sex pistols, etc.

he loved you for it though, beyond grateful with your patience with him.

a/n: golly gosh i love this man so much

[str4wb3rr1e]

Laundry Mat

tokio hotel x reader

the sound of the led lights buzzing over took the yellow lit room, the white walls that have faded into a dark grey color over time screaming for restoration, the white tiles on the ground having permanent shoe marks tattooed on them.

you sat there quietly, back leaned against the old washing machine, loudly tumbling your laundry.

your mascara was smudged, lipstick everywhere but your lips, eyeshadow staining your under eyes and was probably going to stay that way for at least a day.

the metal door creaked open, ‘who would do their laundry so late at night?’ you thought but yet, here you were, doing your laundry at the 24/7 open mat at 2 in the morning.

lucky for you it was your next door neighbor, at least he wasn’t a stranger. “hey…” he whispered, his voice echoed on the quiet room, “hey.” you whispered back with a soft smile.

you watched as he placed his laundry in an empty machine and threw some cents from his pockets before sliding down and sitting down in front of you.

“you alright?” he asked pulling out a cigarette from his pocket. “I don’t know… do I look alright?” you asked wiping some of the lipstick off your cheeks.

“don’t know,” he shrugged “I don’t know what ‘alright’ looks like”. he slid the cigarette pack on the floor tiles, the pack flying over towards you and hitting the bottom of your shoes. “I quit.” you mumbled sliding the pack back.

“good for you.” he chuckled trying to light his cigarette with a cheap lighter, “shoot, you have a lighter I can borrow?”.

you reached for your pocket and slid the lighter across the room, “thought you said you quit?” he smiled, “I did, yesterday.” you smiled.

“what’s up with you?” you asked as he slid the lighter back to you, “returned home late from tour.” he replied taking a long drag. you chuckled “oh yeah, forgot you’re famous.” with air quotes on ‘famous’.

“okay, just because your music taste sucks doesn’t mean we’re shit.” he chuckled throwing a lost sock towards you way, “ew!” you squealed as the sock hit the sleeve of your jacket.

you fixed your hair as your laughs faded into the room, “I’ve never heard your music anyway…” you teased, “oh yeah?” he pulled out an mp3 player from his pocket.

“you want to?” he asked plugging headphones in, “yeah, sure.” you nodded as he reached over to hand you the small device. you picked it up from his hand and put on the headphones in.

to be honest, they were good, really good. “mmm, not really my style.” you muttered, that was a lie and you knew damn well you would go home and blast the same music your called shit the whole night.

“well, everyones style is different.” he shrugged as you handed the mp3 player back. you felt bad about lying and decided to fix it by saying “but you are good, really good…”.

“yeah,” he snickered, “thanks.”

“no problem.” you chirped. the timer of the machine behind you went off, covering the entire room with a simple yet loud tune.

“my uh… my stuff is done.” you mumbled with a small smile as you stood up to gather your fresh laundry.

“hey uh,” he called behind you, “how about we go for coffee this weekend?”. you stuffed your laundry in your backpack and turned around to face him. “coffee?” you sneered, “I mean, it could be something else too, dinner maybe?” he added shoving his hands deep in his jeans front pockets.

“sure,” you replied, “dinner sounds nice.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n: writing isn’t enough I need to make a short film 😭 this can be imagined as any one of the members 💜 💜

I forgot to mention that this isn’t from the winter series, that series is going to be longer and placed in high school (older grades tho dw)

[https-mi1zu]

The Peacock and The Crow

(the draft-ish, chapters 1-2)

CO WRITER, SPELL CHECKER, AND MY BESTIE IN GENERAL: @cha0sdumpster

WARNINGS : nothign really ig?

word count: 4,283

To gabby, the first to hear.

CHAPTER ONE . Life is weird, but I'm weirder

I didn't really want to become a hero, but here we are.

Everyday was the same, I woke up early, 5:30 or so. I got ready, fixed my hair and packed my lunch. Meanwhile, my mother was passed out on the couch with some man. I went back to my room to get them a blanket.  I left them a glass of water before I left for school. As I walked out of the house and slowly made my way to the bus stop, I couldn't help but feel a sense of isolation. It was like I was living two different lives - my own and that of my mother's. I waited for the bus, wondering if things would ever change, or if I were always meant to feel like an outsider.

At least my mother was grateful enough to give me her headphones. As soon as I plugged in my headphones, it felt as if the world just stopped for a moment. It felt freeing, it felt as if I was high as a cloud and...is that a horse with wings??

I took off my glasses to wipe them a bit, maybe I was just seeing things. I looked back, only to see just a normal maya bird flying by. As I sat on the bus, lost in thought, I couldn't help wondering if there were other kids like me out there - kids who felt like outcasts and longed to find a place where they could truly fit in. I was aware that there were other kids in my class who also struggled with ADHD and dyslexia. My mother was surprised that I had made it to grade 7.

I wondered if there was somewhere out there where I could find people who understood me and where I belonged, maybe even a place where I could've become a forest witch.

I could daydream about finding a place where I fit in and could be a forest witch, the bus pulled up to a stop, it jolted me back to reality. I got off the bus and began walking to school, still lost in thought. I took off my earphones as I got off.

I walked in the hallways, it was quite early, I couldn't help but notice some strange things around me - a bird that was acting weirdly, a crack in the sidewalk, and a piece of paper floating in the air. But I shook my head, thinking it was just your imagination again. 'Just my imagination is running wild.' I said to myself, mostly.

I put my bags at my desk as I walked over to the corner of the room. Our classroom was quite small, but it had a fire exit. We never got to use it, but it was cool anyway. 

I could hear the slight buzz of the fan, our aircon hadn't been fixed yet. Why did I even bring a jacket anyway?

I looked at our schedule, making myself mentally memorize the subjects. 'math first...science next...filipino right after recess, ‘did I remember to bring my apron?' I thought. We had art today, double period, our art teacher was quite nice.

After I reread the schedule a couple more times, I walked to my desk. It was in the third row of the third column of our classroom.

I brought out my books, I didn't need much other than my whiteboard (which I forgot to bring, again) and my notebooks. After I got my books and shoved them under my desk, I walked over to my locker, 'I should really buy a lock.' I said to myself. Opening my locker and then shoved my bag and lunch box in. I slammed the door to it shut so nothing would fall out.

I made my way through the medium-sized room, the air seemed to grow colder, as if the temperature had dropped a few degrees. The shadows in the corners appear to thicken and deepen, almost as if they are slowly coming to life. I couldn't shake the feeling of being watched, like there are eyes following my every move. But everytime I turn around there's nobody there.

The flickering of the fluorescent lights above only adds to the sense of unease, casting shifting patterns of brightness and darkness across the room. I could hear faint, almost imperceptible whispers echoing through the corridors.

'it's just the wind.' I told myself, I sat down back on my desk

But the whispers continued, growing louder and more menacing as I sat at my desk. They seem to come from every corner of the room, as if they are trying to communicate something important like they are trying to warn me of something.

The shadows in the corner seem to twist and writhe, almost like they are trying to form some kind of shape. It's hard to make out what exactly they're trying to take the form of, but it almost seems like a familiar shape. I needed to clear my mind so I opened the door  and made my way to the bathroom. It was a quiet walk, the corridors empty with the leaves on the ground. I looked down at the ground as I walked. The rocks embedded in the beige concrete made different shapes, the sizes ranging from big to small. It really looked like a messed up mosaic.

I reached the bathroom, the whispers grew louder and more frenzied, as if they were desperate to communicate something. The shadows in the corner of the room seemed to move and writhe even more.

Turning on the faucet, the water that came out was ice cold, as if it had been sitting in a frozen pond for hours. I splashed water on my face, expecting it to be refreshing and calming, but instead the water felt strange, almost as if it was pulling something out of me.

I looked at myself in the mirror, the whispers in the back of my mind grew to an unbearable level. It was like they were trying to drown me in my negative thoughts. Didn't work though. 

The longer I looked into the mirror, I noticed the small imperfections on my face.

The small but noticeable double chin I had

My many moles on my face

The pimples and the acne

My round baby face. I've always hated my face.

I fixed and tied up my hair. It always looked bad the moment I stepped into school. I think it's the school air that always makes people’s hair look weird. Walking out of the bathroom, I could feel the whispers in the air behind, beside, and in front of me. Why couldn't they quiet down for once? Just for a day is all I ask. They kept persisting, whispering thoughts and messages through my ears. It was as if all I could hear until I saw my teacher.

Mrs Fiore. She was my mentor and my composition teacher. I forgot we had class coaching today, class coaching was for our writing. We had to make a fake myth about an item or a food in our hometown. Mrs Fiore wasn't only our English teacher, but so was Ms Santos, our literature teacher. She was a little bit more meaner than Mrs fiore.

I always found Mrs Fiore kind, she always had this vibe that I could only describe as comforting. Maybe it was because she always smelt like flowers, or because her hugs always felt nice and warm.

The small things I noticed about her was that she always had a flower in hand or her auburn hair. Miss Fiore always wore this necklace with a pomegranate charm on it. She also always had at least something black on, and she for some reason would always disappear in September, sometimes August. Those were the ber-months. I always questioned why she would be gone for so long…she did mention it was to visit someone. Maybe it's her husband, though why doesn't he just live with her? Why couldn't he visit her instead of her visiting him?

Mrs fiore wasn't the only teacher who would disappear for September and august, Ms santos too. Ms Santos and Mrs fiore looked related in a way, like niece and aunt, or mother and daughter.

I gave Mrs. Fiore a small wave and passed her in the hallways, she waved back with a smile.

The weeks felt longer and more tiring as each day passes. Sometimes there would be something interesting, for example my history teacher said that whoever recited the full intro to this TV show would get an extra point on the quiz. Everyone thought it was a joke until one of my classmates, Carmen, raised her hand. 

To everyone’s surprise, she somehow managed to recite it all. She got an extra point on the quiz that day.

I wanted to raise my hand too but, I guess I was too afraid to speak. I was always too afraid to speak, I hated the fact that I was afraid.

Sitting back in my chair, I got lost in thought.

I questioned my purpose in this world. Would it be better if I just hadn't existed? What would my classmates do if I just disappeared? would they even notice?

The answer to my last question was no. One time we had a party, teachers day. I disappeared from the class party to make bracelets with Mrs Fiore, when I came back an hour later, I asked “did you notice I was gone?” 

“Uhhhh…yeaaahh?” My classmate responded uncertainty. The music was loud. Loud to make it sound like a whisper, but not loud enough for me to hear what she was saying

I knew it was a lie.

This made me truly question why I am even here, in this school. Why did my parents choose this school? They did say it was more accommodating to my ADHD. I would've been better off in some public school than this. At least there, no one talks bad about you. Well, not in front of you at least.

Maybe if I had been a better student, only then my classmates would notice me. As the day progressed, it was somewhat quiet. We had two quizzes, one in math and the other in Filipino.

Usually I had to go to a separate place to take these tests. MLP, the modified learning program. It was for kids like me, ones that had a troubled time in learning.

 There was another girl in MLP, her name was Mars. Mars and I, were friends, to say the least. How we became friends was…interesting.

Mars saw that I liked the same thing as her, which was a TV show called The Amazing Adventures of the Hare and the Lamb. It was a children's show, I just watched it because I got bored. It was a good TV show though, I re-watched it three or four times.

The moment Mars saw that I had some merch I made myself, she immediately started to talk to me. Telling me all about her favorite character, why the show’s so good, and then about a song I haven't heard of.

Ever since that day, we became friends. Though we were in different classes, she would invite me to eat lunch, she would sometimes give me rocks she found. Sometimes Mars would even just tell me a story or a character she created on the weekend. Nevertheless, I would listen to her nonstop. It wouldn't matter what mood I was in or how much homework I had, I'd always want to listen to her. It was like she was my sister in a way, or a version of me I wished to be ever since I was young.

Entering the small room for MLP, it was quiet except for the teacher there, Miss Luzviminda. Me and Mars called her Miss Luz for short. She was already there, writing some report or something. I walked into the room, giving her a small wave before sitting down.

“Did you study for the quiz, June?” She asked me, getting up from her velvet chair and handing me my quiz paper. “Yep,” I responded, bringing out my mechanical pencil. I started to write my name, just June Manalo. I didn't want to add the extra Christina, too lazy to write my full name. I looked at the paper and giving a somewhat cringed look, math.

 I didn't like math, although yes I did understand the lesson, I'd forget how to do the steps to the questions. That's why Miss Luz would help me.

Miss Luz was kind, she was like my tita. She’d always ask how I was doing or what I did during the weekends, Mars would start shaking her hands and start ranting about everything she did during the weekend, too bad she’s absent today. Miss Luz would always tell Mars to calm down a bit with a comforting smile. Mars would sit down and fidget in her seat in response. 

I started trying my best to answer the questions in the quiz, asking Miss luz if I did this or that correctly.

CHAPTER TWO: why am I like this?

The day passed very quickly, in the blink of an eye. I didn’t even really do much except for the quizzes and writing notes. At lunch I kind of just stayed at where me and Mars usually eat, which was the gate closest to our classrooms, gate two. Opening my lunch box, I brought out the lunch I made before I had left school, a simple nutella sandwich with banana and a Chuckie. Some others might say that this isn't a healthy or a filling lunch, well I can't cook.

I opened the metal container, bringing the sandwich to my mouth to take a bite, it tasted cold, I still ate it even though. Then I peeled my banana and poked my Chuckie with the straw to drink. I should really eat more, it's not really healthy to eat the same lunch everyday.

After I finished eating my sandwich, banana, and chuckie, I just sat there and opened my notebook to draw. I like drawing, usually though i'd draw some characters I've created in my head, or Mars’ characters

I started with a simple sketch of a head and eyes, not really knowing what to draw, I just went with the flow. As I kept drawing, I heard one of my teachers pass, Miss Estioco. She was my science teacher last year, she was like me. She was socially awkward but kind of a nerd, not in a bad way though. She was like one of those cool teachers who would somewhat let you do what you want, or just talk to casually.

She waved and smiled at me, a strand of her black hair falling onto her face before she brushed it behind her ear. I waved back, wondering what she was doing at gate two. I then heard a motorcycle pull up, oh she was just getting food she ordered. She walked to the gate, gave the driver the money before walking back inside. After that I just went back to drawing.

This was calming, my therapy, I liked sitting by myself and drawing. It would be better if Mars was here but this was fine enough as is. ‘The right eye’s to big.’ I thought, erasing the eye and tilting my notebook to draw it similar to the left one. Drawing was like gambling to me sometimes, I never knew if it looked nice or not, if it looked correctly portioned or not. Its like having a love hate relationship with drawing, I both love it and hate it.

An hour or 40 minutes pass, the lunch bell rung. I packed my stuff, shoving my metal empty container in with my water jug. I fixed my hair in a window that was being covered inside with a curtain. It was dark enough for me to see my reflection through the glass. ‘Eh, look good enough’ I tightened the knot of the jacket around my waist before walking back to my classroom. There were a lot of people, some in groups or just having a normal conversation. I quickly tried to walk past them, saying “excuse me” a thousand times before reaching my classroom. It was loud, really loud, there were people in small groups in the corner and the center of the classroom chatting away. The chatter of multiple conversations and the occasional yell could be heard during break. Walking over to my locker, I opened it and put my stuff inside. Reaching into my locker after putting my lunch box in it, I grabbed my apron since art was the second to last subject of the day. After that I sat back in my seat, my apron in my lap while I continued to draw.

But something felt…different. Something felt as if I was being watched from afar. I looked up and turned my head to look around the classroom, everyone was minding their own business. I tried to ignore the feeling of being watched but, I just couldn’t. I could just feel someone’s gaze staring right at me, watching my every move, like a hawk would do to prey. I felt helpless, I don't like being stared at, it's uncomfortable and awkward. 

I heard the bell ring not too long after, getting up from my seat, grabbing my pencil and putting it in my jacket’s pocket. We didn’t need much to bring, just really our apron and a pencil. I watched as everyone left the room, I was the last so I had to close the lights and close the door. Staying at the back of the line, I still could hear them talking and chatting away, gossiping or talking about plans for the weekend. 

When we reached the art room, our teacher was already there, Miss Reyes. She was there organizing the artworks of the class before us, placing them carefully on a shelf for them to dry. She greeted us with a good afternoon and told us to sit down. Miss Reyes said that we would be making an art based on a country and its tradition, people, and artwork. We’d be able to choose the country, I chose Greece since I liked studying and learning about its mythology.

She gave us a flat canvas and a marker and told us to write our name, section, and the country we chose. She also said that we could choose from a variety of art materials, varying from paints, paint brushes, sand, and newspapers. We could use any material to paint our artwork, so I chose an eraser.  Never really did I like painting or coloring, I liked doing that virtually. We were also allowed to use the computer to search for ideas for our artwork. I stood behind one of my most talkative classmates while I waited for my turn to use the computer to search for an idea. My classmate just kept talking and talking to the point it was annoying, like seriously can't you tell that it's too loud or what you're even saying didn't even make sense? She wasn't even talking to me but one of the smarter people in class, Isabel. I stood there patiently, fidgeting with the eraser. Then I just decided to draw the first thing on my mind, since time was of the essence. I walked back to the table I was situated at and began drawing up a design. It was of the goddess Persephone, most people just say that she’s the wife of Hades but she was so much more than that. She’s the goddess of spring, the queen of the underworld. She was so much more than just “hades’ wife”.

I made sure to draw her to be looking ethereal, with long flowy jellyfish like hair, eyes comforting and kind. I made sure to add her sign, a pomegranate. I gave her a simple chiton, adding some accessories like a crown, rings, bracelets, and flowers. She looked pretty, I made sure of that. 

I was seated in the corner of the classroom, with four of my classmates lingering around  my desk. They didn’t talk to me much, as I didn’t talk to them either. I kept my head down and continued drawing, overhearing their conversation. I sketched a few more lines, as they talked about another person in our batch. Something controversial, as I remember. Every day was like this actually, people talking about someone or something. 

I tried to ignore them, trust me I did, but now I know that one person in this batch is gay, I'm gay but like it's different y'know? 

Overhearing their conversation accidentally, they kept talking and yapping away about someone else now. I stayed silent, although I did know that person, but not really on the friend level more like a simple wave or hi in the hallways type. I felt sad for her, she didn’t deserve this treatment, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I kept my silence, didn’t want to add to the gossip, neither did I want to join the gossip.

As I continued to draw, I still felt as if I was being watched. Someone was watching me, that was for sure. I could feel its eyes peering into my skin, making it uncomfortable for me to draw. I stopped for a moment, looking around to see everyone talking to each other or focusing on their artwork, no one was staring at me. So I just went back to drawing, sketching lines delicately.

After I was finished with the sketch, I didn't want to color it, it was too pretty for coloring. I got up from my seat and walked over to Miss Reyes to ask her if I should color it or not. She gave me good advice, telling me to try and use shading if I didn't want to color it. I nodded and thanked her for that before walking back to my seat. Everyone else was still drawing and painting their artwork. Since I didn't know what to do, I just cleaned up my area and stayed silent while I waited for class to end. 

Boredom took over as I watched the clock tick, waiting patiently for the bell to ring. We had like, maybe five or ten minutes left I think.

The minutes passed by, everyone was still chatting and talking. I saw Miss Reyes walking around, checking up with my classmates and giving them advice about their artworks. When she walked up to me, she asked “oh june! I'm kind of worried that the bracelet you gave me might break, can I ask that you restring it?” She took off the bracelet I made for her on teacher's day. “I wear it everyday kasi” She smiled at me warmly as I took the bracelet from her hands. “Yes miss.” I replied, putting the bracelet in my pocket, she walked off as another of my classmates called her. 

More or maybe five minutes pass, it was finally the next class. I saw everyone get up, still chatting with each other as they cleaned up their tables and their workspaces. We still had one more class, religion. I was the first to be out of the art classroom, waving my teacher goodbye.

It was quiet out, no other students were walking around, no maritesses chatting around or young students running around. I liked the quiet, but I never liked being alone. After I made it back to my classroom, I drank some water as the rest of my classmates filled the room. We all waited for a bit before my religion teacher came in, Miss Elane. Almost half my batch hated her because she always goes ‘im not mad, I'm not sad, nor am I disappointed. I'm worried about you guys failing your test.’ She always says that after half the class failed her test. She expected us to memorize the bible’s verses, I can't even remember what I had for breakfast. I know, I know Miss Elane had good intentions but why did she have to say it like that?

”Good afternoon class” She said, everyone replied with a good afternoon to her too. We were all very tired, mentally and physically. She told us all to stand up to pray, though I didn't want to, so I just stood there with my arms crossed. Then with that she started her lesson on some new bible verse.

Everyone sat back down and pulled out their notebooks to start taking notes on the verse. I didn't want to take notes, for I was too tired to do so. “June, what was Abraham promised?” she called on me unexpectedly. “He was promised angels?” I answered, standing up. Miss Elane just sighed before turning to the board to write, I am scared. Maybe I got scared because of her glare, how intimidating her ‘comforting’ smile was, or how she would always pull me out of class to ask me personal questions. I always tried to answer them vaguely and asked her if I could leave. 

 She would always call me the black sheep of the flock, commenting on how I would always walk a bit slower then my class so I don't have to socialize with them. I didn’t like her one bit, I didn’t like how she would try to talk to me, trying to pry me away from my class. There was even a time where, I swear to you that Miss Elane blinked sideways.

[soundwavesuperioraf]

Chapters 5 and 6 updated for my Jazz/Soundwave SG/G1 crossover fic. Check it out on ao3. Here's a snippet from a scene I loved writing:

“You can’t do a cover to Violet Rust,” Jazz insisted. “It isn’t done. It isn’t natural. You can’t improve on perfection.”

Soundwave couldn’t glare at him in boombox mode, but it felt like he was glaring at him. Soundwave ejected a wired headphone jack, aiming the cable towards Jazz. 

Jazz snatched it up and plugged it directly into his audial port. “Fine, fine. Play your bootleg remix. I’m sure it’s a musical travesty. No, worse, it’s musical treachery. Smelted Belts are rolling in their graves.”

Soundwave played the track at issue.

Violet Rust was a fast song, intended to get the energon flowing in a mech’s lines, but Soundwave had slowed it down. Instead of the slower speed detracting from the resonance, it drew it out and enhanced it. Jazz could focus on the harmonics in a way he usually didn’t when he was stomping out the thumping bass line. And then there was the harmonics Soundwave had added. The layered notes purred in Jazz’s audials, revving his systems.  

Oh scrap! If it was treason to enjoy Soundwave’s blatantly Earth-influenced covers to one of Jazz’s favorite pre-war artists, then Jazz was a betrayer of the highest caliber. 

“Frag, frag, frag. Am I hearing a theremin? What the pit? You can’t just…” He made an unintelligible sound. “It’s unbalanced, anyway, though. You haven’t achieved perfection yet.”

The boombox blinked its lights smugly, invitingly highlighting a shiny dataport.

“Yeah, I can fix it. Watch a master at work.”

Jazz rushed to plug in, eager to get his metaphorical servos on that track. As for his actual servos, he had one holding the headphone to his audials and one on Soundwave’s dials, adjusting the bass and then the overall balance, as promised. He was so focused on the music��Soundwave started the song over again when it ended—that he didn’t notice their fields syncing up until they were practically overlapped in their singular pursuit.

“There!” Jazz said dramatically when he was satisfied with his sound editing. He unplugged his connector but didn’t disconnect the headphones, preferring the total immersion. He stretched out his frame across the berth, head pillowed on Soundwave. “Let the beat roll.” Jazz crooned along to the lyricless track. “I can’t believe I like this. You dared to mess with perfection, but the vibe is sick. You’re an evil genius.” After Soundwave had played the track at least five times, Jazz had to ask, “What else you got?” 

[feeder-of-rodents]

I got a fever and binged the entirety of Droners season 2 in two days

It was quite an adventure.

First the internet wasn't working, so I decided to watch the Monsuno DVDs i got from the library but our DVD player wasn't plugged into the tv. Then I got shocked by a broken wire because we have a rabbit in the house and I'm an idiot who didn't unplug the power before trying to sort out all the wires.

Turns out one of the cords I needed was broken anyways, so I resorted to calling dad and he helped me fix (read: turn it off and back on again) the internet. Since I already had the family computer open, I decided I might as well watch there.

Except the audio wasn't working. It later turned out there would have been a very easy fix, as the only problem was that the radio thingy that's linked to the family computer's speakers was turned off. I've dealt with this very situation dozens of times, but I had a fever and the computer was in a different place than it had been the last few years, so I didn't think of it.

Instead I decided to try headphones, but the audio quality was so bad it wasn't worth it just to avoid the battle with my laptop. When my dad got home, he called me into the room and asked why the computer was being weird and whenever he clicked on stuff it did something other than what it was supposed to do. It took me about 4 seconds to work out the problem, which was that I'd accidentally set the headphones down on the control key. I'm never going to let this one go!

Anyways, binge watching went well until the last freaking episode, where my laptop decided it had had enough. (In my laptop's defence, it has to deal with hundreds of browser tabs and is literally held together by tape.) The animation started getting choppy and everything slowed down until I was dealing with seconds-per-frame. Restarting my laptop (twice!) somehow made the problem worse.

Eventually I had to dig up Flickfetch and just download the episode. It was somehow still worth all the trouble

Well, now I can finally read the 2 (actually 4 by now) fics on Ao3 without having to fear spoilers!

[troybarnesbabygirlconfirmed]

Wait okay- people talking about meltdown experience? I can do this.

I'll take this from the most recent time I can remember it happening. I'm the silent meltdown type, I don't really scream or lash out. (sometimes I do, but most of the time I don't)

It's sort of like... My brains a pinball game.

And most of the time throughout the day I'm playing the game and it's fun and I'm not losing the ball I'm just bouncing it around playfully.

But then there's those moments where I can feel myself lose control - like I pressed the button too late and I didn't hit the ball quite right.

There's too many overlapping sounds or it's too loud and I can't do anything to stop it.

There are times of course when I can stop it - by removing myself or putting on headphones. But when something like that isn't a possibility, like, in the experience I'm taking from, being in a school with very intense no-headphones policies, the pinball machine of my brain sort of goes off the rails.

I feel myself lose control of the ball entirely, it's bouncing around frantically making louder and louder noises and pings. It's like it's unsure of where to go so it just goes everywhere.

And I feel myself shut down. At this moment it's too late, but I still try to stop things. Most cases this involves me plugging my ears - usually with untrimmed fingernails, jamming in as far as they will go and causing pain - or covering my ears with my fists - equally painful, as I crush my fists against the side of my head and suffocate my ears.

The best this does is slow down the pinball a little bit, but it doesn't really work all that well.

There's a few minutes where I sit there, trying to stop myself from doing anything. Especially in school, my instinct is to shut down so I don't do anything stupid in front of a bunch of people who already hate me and mock me.

But then it happened anyway.

Out of fight, flight, or freeze, I typically do this.

Freeze, then flight, and then maybe a little bit of fight if there's someone trying to stop me doing the flight part.

So I run. From whatever situation I'm in. I run and after I run I typically cry and feel like throwing up or throwing something.

Things just feel so wrong.

Like the pinball has dropped between the crack of the two bumpers and I don't have any quarters left.

If anyone tries anything while I'm in this state, I usually lash out. Verbally, never physically. I'm not really the physical type. I know as a tiny little trans masc I couldn't do that much, but words are just as powerful weapons as fists. And they can get you in just as much trouble.

There are some cases where I don't get the chance to fight, or really do anything. There are times when my meltdown is entirely silent, and contained. This is typically when I go non-verbal.

The step after all this, a step that usually takes the longest, is reconciliation. I apologise to everyone I wronged, try to calm down my brain and fix things. Try to make sure no one, absolutely no one, tells my parents what happened. (That's a story for another time)

And that's my meltdown cycle.

this. this is a very good analogy… i will be using it. if that’s okay.

(also i get the parents bit) (in a VERY different way) (but i know what you’re talking about best believe) (and also i am so? so sorry that you have to keep that hidden from them.) (that must be really difficult and im sending love)

thank you thank you thank you so so much !!! i love you all and im giving you the biggest thanks for all this. copy pasted it into a little document HEHEHEOSNSKSK for reference <3 thank you rhank you thank you

[amative13loser]

I really like The Cranberries. Like really really like them.

Growing up my mom had the No Need To Argue Album on CD and I'd listen to it a lot. I didn't really like the other music as much.

Specifically I listened to go to sleep. For some reason I spent many years unable to sleep without music.

So sometimes I'd have a radio playing the boring local channels, and at some point I had headphones plugged into the radio I kept on my bed to listen to the same CD.

On repeat, all night long for several years.

I'm pretty sure that was my bad era too so it was probably a self comfort thing too.

People talk about depression but not the apathetic kind. I remember just laying in bed for hours in the dark, listening to the same songs and imagining stories in my head.

Even if I was hungry and had to use the restroom to the point of physical pain I didn't move. I just couldn't.

Later on I learned it was maladaptive daydreaming and executive disfunction. Words and names for the problems, helpful I guess but there wasn't any help in the moment.

I spent years out of the world and in my own head and no one ever tried to help. No one checked on me, no one asked what was wrong, no one noticed or cared. It made the loneliness worse and is probably why I still struggle.

I'm much better though today.

I had to help myself which took a long time, but I did it. I got therapy, convinced others to pursue therapy too. I slowly stopped daydreaming and focused instead on odd tasks on my phone to keep my brain busy. And I advocated for myself to get medication because my normal brain and coping just wasn't enough.

I have real friends, not many but I trust them all dearly. And my family is more understanding and follows my lead in getting help. I'm stronger and able to speak up for myself more to.

I still have problems though, that will take a long time to fix. Or maybe never but I'll still work to cope.

My main issue nowadays is that damn loneliness.

Going outside is a lot, people in small towns are boring and unsafe, and there's nothing to do anyway.

Still I always yearn to go out and do more even though I know I struggle to exist as I do now. One day though, I just have to be patient.

Very very patient. I'll find my other half person, I'll travel, I won't be scared, I won't be sad.

One day, I just have to wait for now and prepare until then.

[drinkjanola]

i wish i had a wired equivalent of my airpods pros for when my normal ones needed charged. like. i love the sound and fit of them, but the only half decent sounding wired earbuds i have are some apple earpods that i got because they didn’t sound like hot garbage. but i also specifically got those for my 3ds. because there wasn’t a wired equivalent of the airpods pros.

my complaint with earpods is the fit. they’re uncomfortable and have no form of seal on them? like, no ear tip to actually do more passive noise cancelling or whatever audiophiles call it. just hard plastic, and the mesh isn’t easy to clean. i like that there’s mesh in the actual airpods pro ear tips so it’s harder to clog the actual airpod. idk i just think the airpod pro design would be wonderful if they made it into a classic wired earbud design too because then i wouldn’t be as pissed about having to switch to wired buds while i wait for my airpods to charge. if it was just the same design and sound quality, but with wires hanging off it, with a 3.5mm jack so it was more universal? YES.

also yes i have nice headphones. sure. audio technica m50x. two problems though… they clamp a fair bit on my head and can hurt my ears after a while of wearing, hence my preference for earbuds, also i’m using the 3m cable because i fucked up my 1m a while ago and haven’t replaced it. so they’re super inconvenient unless i’m using them with my laptop or something, which i can’t move much because the battery is dogshit so it’s plugged into power constantly anyways. and it has to have as much power delivered to it as possible all the time because somehow the screen flickering issue gets better if i keep power going to it all the time. i know my computer is fucking weird too, all my tech is weird if it isn’t shit that is actually invested properly in. i keep saying i’ll fix the computer but i just don’t wanna spend the money or do all the work it needs done.

i hope you all enjoyed my tangent, i post here whenever i remember tumblr exists.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

The great regular sleep experiment 2024 part "accident prone"

T~T

So yesterday was rough. And eventful.

I can't blame forgetting to check if things were open on Monday on the poor sleep because I never fucking remember Victorias day or labour day or whatever other monday things are inexplicably closed.

But yesterday, groceries done or not, not only did I forget a bunch of stuff while doing groceries, again, which for me isn't normal [I have a system for groceries], but I injured myself a lot and got covered in cherry related acidic beverage in two separate incidents.

First, I dropped a cherry cola pack at the store on my way out and ended up walking home covered in cherry cola. I don't drop my groceries, no matter how much it seems like I should.

And then last night happened.

Just after checking my window fan was secure... it fell down and knocked -what would usually be an empty cup but was currently filled with 7 frozen cherries and a liter of cold water with a bit of lemon juice- all over my keyboard and blue yeti mic, and myself.

So I had to flip and unplug my keyboard due to it being full of sticky water.

And it finally shorted out the half broken cord for my blue yeti.

So I finally had to dig out and plug in my speakers. Which mean moving my computer... Which meant putting a glass glass in the sink, which meant reaching over the last glass glass I broke to do it because I had to lift my chair out of the way of everything to get my speakers out of the drawer [don't ask], which meant cutting my finger.

Like a small paper cut but like made with glass and very enthusiastic about bleeding while I am trying to plug something in behind my computer.

This was not 20 minutes after the last time I cut myself... Because all day my flesh had been sticking to this poster frame I have with bristol board in it taped to the side of my filing cabinet [as a whiteboard], and then like... Violently tearing off sharp pieces of plastic whenever I moved? And so now there was this big jagged edge of plastic right next to me that seemed like -surely- it was out of the way and I could deal with the whole thing later... But no, I went to sit down and somehow -from completely the opposite angle you would expect- cut my arm to bleeding on the -only vaguely sharp for plastic- edge.

This was on top of everything deciding all at once that it needs to obsessively try to fall out of other places, such as the small freezer on the top of my fridge, the counter next to my desk, and the fucking window sill with the fan in it...

AND!!! My fucking, the goddamned pj pants I just sewed up the knee of re-tore 4 SEPARATE times! Last night!

And my injuries from last monday or whatever and the moving of things from saturday are still only half healed.

Unless the universe is trying to deliver me cherry scented death by any excuse of physics imaginable [cherry scented inconvenience maybe??] I have to think that this must all be coordination issues and knock on effects from being too tired to judge anything properly.

Anyway I had to take two separate "I am sticky with something containing cherry specifically" showers yesterday which I imagine the neighbours didn't care for.

baptize me in fuckign cherry juice idk...

So I need to replace my blue yeti cord, if not take it apart and fix both jacks, if it still works right at all. I do not have a mic until I do.

The jack on my fiox3 is still so worn it won't play music to headphones.

My headphones are on their last included cord and have mo pleather left

My graphics card is failing and my case needs repairs...

All around there's a bunch of tech I -really- need to repair or replace unless I want it to all fail on me at once at the most inconvenient possible time...

And anyway I didn't fall asleep until after 2 am. I woke up at my alarm and snoozed it like 20 times before getting up...

[clear-kuriboh]

okay so just gonna uhhhh get an extension for my headphones n splitter thing plug them in the back because I don't want to do solder work right now. v_v

I was thinking about getting an audio controller anyway since I have some extra bays anyway. Might do that for a more longterm fix.

[spectrearia-archive]

audio recording issue (help?)

so tumblr probably isn't the best place to ask for help with this but idk where else to go (that doesn't require me setting up an account on a forum or something) but I have. a tech problem.

when recording game footage while I'm in a discord call with friends, I get some really bad tinny echo of my friends' voices? but I don't hear it while we're playing, it's only in recordings. the voices also tend to have some crackle and pop in the recordings as well, which seems spurned on whenever I turn on my own mic. If I'm muted, all of the other voices sound relatively fine.

I've tried looking up an answer to this problem online, but none of the forum threads I found, that of which have anything similar to this problem, have been answered (or if they have, it's specifically for a program I don't use). so it's kind of left me in the dark.

right now, I'm recording using the Xbox Game Bar that's pre-built into Windows 10. I record with wired headphones plugged in, and I have to use NVIDIA Broadcast to put filters on my mic in order to cut out some nasty hissing on my end. If I don't have the filters, the audio on my side is especially horrendous in the recordings. I've tried adjusting my mic settings to fix that, but to no avail.

anyway, all of these issues are really distracting in my recorded footage and I would love to find a solution so that all audio - both my recorded voice and the voices of other people - come in nice and clear without issues :'0

if anyone has any insight or connections to folks who know a lot about this sort of thing, just let me know through a reblog comment on this post or send me an ask! (since replies can be kinda awkward for me to respond to, rip)

[dorenarox]

A list of highlights from my latest computer issues (fixed for now) : - Both Dave and DoesHotter saying "If I was there I could easily fix it." - Telling Rabbit this once I got to him and saying "I bet you would say the same!" - Rabbit hearing about my computer acting up and asking whether or not he has to help to which I relpied "No." and he tried helping anyways because IT guys just CAN'T resist it. - Dave, an American, understandably having to leave in order to get some sleep and me being like "Okay, don't worry, a much shadier less trustable person is trying to help me now!" (referring to DoesHotter) - DoesHotter telling me to download a program to which I said "But...I don't trust it!" and he replied "Understandable." which is very funny to me - All three of them going "Did you update your drivers?" after I have done so three times already and was trying not to yell at any of them because they wouldn't know that and are just trying to help me BUT PLEASE GUYS - DoesHotter with the genius idea that I should plug my headphones into the back and me being like "You are right I didn't actually try that yet!" (This is not sarcasm, I actually forgot doing that prior and felt a little embarrassed for it.) - Dave telling me to try turning off my computer, unplugging the PSU, then holding down the power button for four seconds, turning off the PSU, plugging the cable back in, turning on the PSU and then turning on my computer (This did nothing but what a funny, convuluted instruction!) - Dave's "If it's a virus you need to disconnect the Ethernet cable so it wont sliver back into your system!" which makes complete sense to me, but still sounds fucking ridiculous (though I wont mind looking a little silly just to be safe) - DoesHotter and Rabbit questioning whether or not I have my audio set to the right device, both saying "It tried playing my sound through my HDMI before." (Sometimes I wonder if I am actually even talking to several people or if it's just one person trying to pull some epic prank. I'm a healthy amount of paranoid, thank you very much!) - Almost forgot when DoesHotter asked me to send a screenshot of the error and I was like "It'll be in German though..." but he wanted the screenshot anyways (To be fair I later realized he's European and might actually know some German if not being completely fluid in it, but that is just speculation!)

[day-poems]

10/26

I noticed a few days ago, when testing

a new iem (headphone), that I seem

to have lost a little run of high notes,

chimes, grace notes on the primary,

in the intro to one of the orchestral

pieces I love and use to test iems.

They were there a few weeks ago,

I know, but now I can only hear them

with the best of my iems, and then

I have to strain. Oh no, I am thinking,

progressive age related hearing loss.

I did one of those informal hearing

test on youtube not a week ago, the

ones where they tell you how old your

ears really are. I can hear something

like 8200htz…but nothing much above

that…which makes my ears about 70,

though the rest of me is 76…I am okay

with that. Every one of those hair cells

in my inner ear lived a good life and

died, when it died, I’d like to think,

of an excess of joy or a burst of emotion.

Of course, years of shooting rifles in

my youth with unprotected ears might

have something to do with it too, but

too late to do anything about that now.

Anyway…I was disappointed not to be

able to hear those chimes anymore…

so, or course, I looked up how to safely

clean your ears and did it. It did not help.

Still no chimes. Sigh! Then this morning

I was listening to that same piece on my

portable player, with those same new

iems, and, low and behold, I could hear

those chimes just fine. Had to be some

thing amiss in my desktop setup. I suspected

a little powered USB hub I have added

lately…but removing it from the audio

chain did not ring the chimes. Plugging

everything, including the hub, into my

Mac Air, instead of my iPad Pro, did

however, restore the chimes. Interesting.

Thinking back, the other major change

in my audio in the past month has been

the new iPad OS 17 installation. I now

suspect that Apple has messed up

lossless streaming somehow on the

iPad, and no change I could make to

settings made any difference. The

chimes are there on my Mac and my

portable player, but not there on my iPad.

At least, thank God, (and I really do),

it is not just age related high frequency

hearing loss. Apple might eventually fix

the issue in a future OS release. There

is nothing I can do about aging ears.

[asexual-levia-tan]

couldnt load the sdv expanded mod because the custom music wouldnt load and im sitting here already getting tense because if any workaround involved going into the console it would be difficult for me (who has very rarely used it)

only to find out like half an hour later that the custom music mod wouldnt load because i didnt have an audio output. legit just cause my monitor doesnt have speakers it broke the entire mod

i love coding. would hate to have to learn about it someday

[keeps-ache]

:))))))

[chemicalbrew]

UGH my new PC is so good