#anyway dont mind me.. back to rewatching succession..... i should go work out in a bit too

[phagodyke]

also not my flatmate earlier being like wow I forgot u were into scifi....... girl. like sorry for not being into star trek/star wars I guess but????

[poutypanic]

The Monk and The Cyborg

Chapter uuuuuuh, 9? In my poly fic “The Is A Perfect Pair” No warnings. As always I dont think you need to read all the others to enjoy this one <3

Chapter Summary: Hanzo and Jesse go away on some Overwatch business. You're left alone with one of the noodles, and some visitors drop by.This chapter is based on a suggestion left by user BlueEyedWolf33 thank you so much! (> ^_^ )>

AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10464945/chapters/26207088

Hanzo and Jesse had to leave for a couple of weeks to close up some Overwatch business. They tried to explain it to you, but none of it really made any sense. Just sounded like a whole bunch of bureaucratic nonsense. They’re over-explaining because they didn’t want you to end up feeling left out. Like you are going to be missing out. Don't want you thinking that they are leaving on a vacation and not taking you with them. You have assured them over and over that they aren’t hurting your feelings by leaving you behind.

Then Hanzo leaves Kimi behind with you without telling you he was doing so. You almost drop your glass of water when the dragon pokes their head over the top of the fridge. You yelp and spill water all over the floor. Clutch the glass of water to your chest.

"I'm gonna get you a collar with a bell on it."

You try to get them to follow you into the living room, but they refuse. Just cock their head from side to side as you try to reason with them. You're trying to be stern, but they are so damn cute, you can't help but smile and giggle at them. You give up and text Hanzo to ask him why the little turd is still in the apartment with you and not traveling with him.

~

You: Why is Kimi still here?

You: They refuse to come down off the fridge btw

Hanzo: For protection.

Hanzo: They like to be in high places.

You: Seriously? Protection?

You: I REFUSE to believe this dragon is anymore than a fancy ferret

You: You and Jesse must have had several unexplainable shared hallucinations

You: I’ll just chalk it up to the stresses of battle

You: There are no big scary dragons

You: But sure, okay, Kimi will “protect” me Thank you

Hanzo: “You’re welcome.”

Jesse: Ur very sassy today

Jesse: You sure ur not a little mad we left

You: Yes I’m sure

Hanzo: Uh-huh. We’ll make it up to you when we get back.

You: I’m! not! mad!

Jesse: thats alot of exclamation marks for someone who aint mad

You: I’m leaving this convo now

Hanzo: Love you, be safe. Have a good day, person who isn’t mad.

Jesse: love you little lady who definitely isn't upset <3

~

Okay, maybe you're feeling a little unhappy about being left alone. But it’s not a considerable amount of emotional upset. You’ll get over it once you realize just how much you needed some alone time. And time doesn’t end up dragging as much as you thought it was going to. Before you know it, almost a week has gone by. It turns out that Kimi is actually pretty good company and isn’t always a constant ball of energy.

It's another day, and you’re lounging on the couch. Kimi, of course, has to lay in a ridiculous spot. They’re wrapped around your head. Asleep on your hair with their tail resting on your neck. They're not causing you any discomfort, so you let them be. You're rewatching a TV show you’ve seen over and over again. So many times that you’ve lost track of just how many instances you’ve sat through every season.

Neither Jesse or Hanzo love it as much as you do. But what they do love is reciting lines word for word to remind you just how many times you’ve made them sit through this show... Damn. Now you’re missing them again.

Then there’s a soft murmuring that you can tell isn't coming from the show. It’s outside the apartment door. At first, you ignore it. Thinking neighbors must be leaving, or just happen to be pausing to have a conversation right outside your door. But then the murmuring doesn't go away and only gets louder. Your interest in peaked, so you pat the dragon on the butt to get them to move and hop up off the couch. Intent on being nosy.

You approach the door and look through the peep hole. What you see makes you immediately swing the door open.

“Were you guys gonna knock or what?”

Genji jumps back about two feet. The momentum knocking the hood off of his head. Zenyatta watches him falter and shakes his head.

“I warned you that she was bound to notice us.”

Genji extends his hand and says, “Ah, hello! I’m Genji.”

You stare at his hand and then back to his face. “Genji we've met before. Several times... Why are you so nervous? What are you up to?”

“Master, the plans  are not going very well.”

“This is what happens when you doubt yourself, my student. And then make last minute changes to the said plan.”

Alright, now you’re determined to get to the bottom of this. You move out of the way and extend your arm out, “You wanna come in?”

Zen bows slightly and says thank you. Then he enters the apartment ahead of Genji, who feels the need to throw his hood back up to try and avoid your accusatory gaze. When Kimi sees Genji, they galavant towards him and promptly start to climb him. You had expected the dragon to wrap itself around his neck or climb on top of his head. But what Kimi does instead is shimmy into the pocket of the sweater. As they do, they force a green, sleepy dragon to fall out of it and onto the floor. You know this dragon by the name of Yoshi.

Genji says, “It’s nice to see you too, Kimi.”

Even with the hard crash onto the floor Yoshi still remains asleep for a few moments longer. When Yoshi does start to rise, they perk up immediately and starts playing with Kimi.  They tackle each other playfully. With their tails wildly swinging back and forth. Rolling around recklessly, scurrying around the couch, over the couch, and under the couch. They too are happy to see each other.

Genji shoves his hands into his pocket, “So… how are you?”

Zen does the omnic equivalent of a sigh, “Hanzo asked if we might check up on you.”

“Oh, really!”

Genji says, “We weren’t supposed to tell you that.”

“Uh-huh! So not even Hanzo believes Kimi can protect me; I see how it is.”

Zen says, “Well, I’m afraid the dragon can’t keep kitchen fires from happening.”

Your face flushes red from embarrassment. You giggle nervously and your mouth drops open,

“That was one time.”

Genji adds, “Kimi also can’t keep you from cracking your head open in the shower.”

How much has Hanzo told them!? “That was also one time! It was two stitches! Two! Didn’t even leave a scar!”

“What about the time you fell asleep with your headphones in, and Jesse caught you with them wrapped around your neck? Was that also one time?”

You place your hands on your hips, “That he knows of.”

Genji teases, “Who uses earphones with cords anymore?”

“I do! In my opinion, they sound better. And I don’t lose them constantly.”

The original plan Genji and Zen had had was to get you to come and hang out with them. But Genji at the last moment didn't feel that his plans for the day were believable enough. That they would sound forced, and you would know they were there for ulterior reasons. Well, you know now. Suddenly Genji gets an idea. He looks to the dragons who are still rolling around on the floor. Entangled around each other. They break a part and stare each other down, with their butts in the air, and their heads low to the floor. You could watch this silly shit all day.  

Genji claps his hands together, “Get your shoes on! Let's go.”

“W-what? I’m wearing pajamas and my hair's a mess, I’ve—“

“So?” He says, bending over to picks up flip flops that are resting near the door. He hands them to you and opens up the door for you. Pushes you outside into the hall with a hand against your shoulder. “If we hurry, we can catch the subway before it leaves.”

Zen follows, not bothering to offer any condolences or an idea of what Genji is up to. He couldn't anyway, he doesn't have a clue either. Genji calls to Kimi and Yoshi who both follow after the three of you immediately. Zen’s floating off the ground legs crossed as he usually is. But Kimi would like to get into his lap. The poor thing doesn't jump high enough and instead collides head first into the wall on the other side of him. Zen lowers himself so that the second attempt is a successful one. Yoshi goes ahead and takes the gesture as an opportunity for them too, to curl up in Zen’s lap.

You try to tell Genji not to close the door. You don't even have your keys on you or your phone. You can't get any words out in time. Genji's too excited and slams the door closed.

“Real cool, Genji, now I’m locked out!”

“Don’t worry, I have a key.”

Genji heads down the hall. Before you start to follow him you look to Zen, “What is going on?”

He shrugs, “I would suggest going with the flow.”

If a renowned omnic monk is telling you to just go with it, then maybe you should. So you do. You throw your flip flops on and head after Genji. Zen following right behind you. Whatever the cyborg has in mind as got to be better than sulking on the couch, trying to convince yourself that you don’t miss your boyfriends. Independent woman, and all that kind of nonsense.

The people in the subway are staring at Zen. Not because he’s an omnic; that's normal. But because he's got two dragons in his lap. Who are very curious about every person that is around them. Any body who passes by gets sniffed or pawed at.  A few brave and curious people stop to ask what species of cat they are. This never fails to make you laugh.

It takes about twenty minutes to reach the stop Genji wants you to get off at. It’s another mile or two of walking 'til you make it to a remote looking field of grass that stretches for miles and miles. You and Zen continue to follow him. Genji continuously thwarting any of your attempts to try and get him to tell you where the hell you guys are going, and what the hell you guys are doing. You walk and walk 'til the residential streets are barely visible behind you. Eventually, you guys come across an old run down shack. It’s falling apart, boards laying around, and riddled from weather damage.

Genji stops, “This will do.”

“Genji, if I didn't know any better I’d think you were about to murder me and hide my body here. You wanna give me some insight?”  

He points at you, “I heard that you don't believe the dragons can be big and scary?”

You look to Kimi and Yoshi who are contemplating hopping down from Zen’s lap.

“You heard right.”

He grins big, “Well get a load of this shit!”

You watch as Genji shakes out his shoulders and jumps up and down, trying to get himself pumped up. He pats his thigh and the dragons jump out of Zen’s lap. They approach him in a proper manner that seems very out of character for them. They sit in front of him with their chests puffed out and wait. Being patient. This is already weird.

“Actually, I am not a hundred percent sure I can get Kimi to listen to me, but I’ll try.”

“Sounds like you're stalling to me.”

Genji flicks his hood dramatically off of his head, “Marvel at this!”

Zen reaches out and places a hand on your shoulder. Guides you back ’til you're just behind his person. Asks you to stay there with a polite hand with his palm up.

“I’ll feel better about this with you behind me, thank you.”

Suddenly Genji pretends to be wielding a blade and shouts, “Ryūjin no ken o kurae!”

The serene field turns into a bright, terrifying, roaring masses of two giant full bodied dragons hurdling towards the old abandoned shack. They are so loud you have to cover your ears with your palms. They shake the ground so much it feels as if you’re experiencing a minor earth quake. Kimi and Yoshi look exactly as they had been described to you on many occasions. Featured in many stories about Jesse and Hanzo's days in Overwatch. Stories you had on several had thought though of as big fish tales. That never stopped you from wanting to listen to them though. Well, now you can count yourself proven wrong. Cause they are big, powerful, and scary. Not that the shack was much of an opponent, but the thing is now just a pile of splintered wood and dust.

As the dragons come back and shift back into their cuter forms, the ones you prefer to see, Genji turns to you with a smug look on his face. He is so pleased with himself.

He curtsies and says, “What did you think?!”

“That was badass! Really scary and loud, but holy shit!” Then you pout, “I may be a little sad that I can’t tease them about this anymore.”

Genji assures you, “There’s plenty to tease Hanzo about.”

Genji then reaches into his pocket to pull out his ringing phone. He grimaces when he see’s who it is. He then looks to you and approaches you with the phone held out for you to take. You grin and hide behind Zen some more.

“I know who that is, and you're explaining it to him, Mister! Not me.”

Genji answers the phone call and puts the phone to his ear, “What’s up, bro?”