#maybe she just has rly bad memory or I just dont matter enough for her to retain any of that info which is ok like i get it
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phagodyke · 2 years ago
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also not my flatmate earlier being like wow I forgot u were into scifi....... girl. like sorry for not being into star trek/star wars I guess but????
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unravelling-the-world · 4 years ago
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random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)
well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie.  back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time.  i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped
I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.
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lavellane · 4 years ago
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OTP TWENTY QUESTIONS - TRISS MADDOX / AVA DU MORTAIN
i was tagged by @goblin-deity​​ and @pillarsofeternity​​ thank u both !!! tagging @trvelyans​ @arlathen​ @solasan​ @lvllns​ @abelas​ @noonvvraith​ @lavelans​ @rosebarsoap​ and anybody else who wants to!
who can out drink the other?
who CAN but chooses not to? ava. who WILL but absolutely SHOULDN’T? triss 100%. neither one of them are big drinkers but put triss in a social setting and watch her instantly lose any and all ability to self discipline lmao
who says “i love you” more?
hmm okay so they both have their own individual and specific Issues around relationships, so neither of them rly say it all that much except during intense/intimate moments when it rly matters. but i think after a while (as in like a year or so into the rel when ava is used to it and comfortable) i think ava might say it slightly more than triss does, just in priavte together whilst Doting on her u know.....
who has trouble sleeping alone?
triss ! i mean even before they got together her nightmares were real bad :( but being w ava thru the night helps, to the point where theyre basically a non issue for her anymore. plus she’s a very cuddly person in private just in general and likes BEING cuddled fdjdjfkjf so not having bae w her during the long, cold nights is..... a tragedy luv 
who swears more?
oh triss djdjkffdkjfdk tho shes doesnt swear THAT much and never around ppl she doesnt know. usually just when shes distracted or with fwends having a goof...
who does more of the housework?
probably ava.................. triss is lowkey a messy bitch lol. not DIRTY or anything like her house isnt gross or whatever but she definitely just leaves shit lying around and never tidies lmao. when ava comes around she always ends up cleaning jsut bc shes Like that. as for things like dishes/vaccuuming/etc, mostly triss does that stuff bc its her apartment lmao,, tho ava will always end up helping her anyway bc, again, shes just like that
who forgets their anniversary?
triss :’’’’(((( shes RLY independent and before ava she took a very modern approach to dating so she rly doesnt.... consider those things too much. i like to think ava WOULD remember bc her memory is like. impeccable lol and she’d want to know these things bc shes somewhat old fashioned - but i also dont think she’d care enough to be upset by it. like she IS old fashioned in some ways but like ava of all ppl would probably agree that its not a big deal. regardless triss always wants to do smth together when she does remember lmao
who steals the duvet in their sleep?
TRISS AND SHES SO BAD ABT IT AS WELL. shes the MOST restless sleeper u will ever meet, absolutely throws herself all over ava during the night and if ava was as fuck-off-strong as she is, i have no doubt triss would succeed in pushing her out of their bed on multiple occasions
who keeps the other awake at night with their snoring?
neither, fortunately ! tho on the odd occasion when ava sleeps, she is sometimes woken up by triss sleeptalking during nightmares
who finds stray animals and begs the other to let them keep them?
honestly neither again, mostly bc triss is so busy and her apartment is too small for anything other than her bird. triss is definitely the type to pick out the ugliest/most feral stray animal she can find and gush abt how cute it is tho!
who usually makes dinner?
triss! she likes cooking even tho she’s not very good at it. she sometimes asks ava to help her in making recipes that ava likes or is more comfortable eating, bc of the whole sensory thing
who plays their music out loud?
triss again ! i have a hc that there is ALWAYS music playing at triss’s apartment, she always has her radio or her speakers playing smth bc she is uncomfy with silence, and also just bc she likes to dance around the house kfdjkdkf
who hogs the bathroom?
okay.........i HONESTLY think ava. idk why but i feel like ava takes rly good care of herself. whereas triss is a rat who will brush her hair and teeth and maybe put a moisurizer on if shes feeling it that day lol. ava at the VERY least spends a lot of time on her hair imo, washing it as well as making it look so damn Iconic
who gives the most compliments?
triss ! shes a very sweet bby and u cant rly get thru a convo with her without being complimented at least once lol
who usually starts/causes arguments between them?
definitely ava, tho i would argue - at least in the context of their relationship - that its actually a good thing, or at least a healthy thing. triss HATES conflict that involves voicing her own issues w something, and much prefers to just bury it down or pretend it doesnt exist. which isnt healthy at all ! so a lot of their arguments usually have to do with ava trying to get triss to have meaningful dialogue with her and not hold back so much.
who isn’t afraid to embarrass the other in public?
triss.................i feel so damn sorry for ava actually lmao
who gives the other cringe worthy pet names?
hmmmm, ava gives them unironically (like. triss’s cousin once overheard ava call triss “my love” or “my heart” once and NEVER lets triss forget it) but triss absolutely goes out of her way to come up w some truly creative ones. 
who fusses over the other when they get sick?
ava !!!!! i feel like after 900 years she would be Extra worried abt that kind of stuff, and severely catastrophises abt how absurdly fragile/vulnerable she thinks humans are. like triss will get a cold and ava will still partially act like its 1183 or whatever and her gf is literally at deaths door lmao.
who finds it impossible to stay angry at the other for long
hm both ! ava tends to get frustrated a lot at everybody in general, but triss has an annoying way of cutting thru all of that lol. whereas on the other hand, like i said, triss just doesnt get angry, and even if she does she tends to just move past it as quickly as she can because she doesnt want to argue
who clings to the other for comfort when they’re sad or scared?
i think both, but in slightly different ways ! triss always wants comfort from ava, whether shes happy or sad or whatever lol, but i do rly love the idea of ava relying on triss a little more for emotional support once they have been in a relationship for a while, and once and ava feels safe w that kind of thing............like just letting her be vulnerable with someone whom she trusts, just for a little while.... 
who is more ‘physically passionate’? (hugs, kisses, or maybe more…)
again i would say both in different ways ! it rly depends on what the q means by passionate. like triss is very handsy and quite physical w her affection, and ava is more into the subtler stuff. but in saying that, when ava does get physical its WAY more intense and ‘passionate’ in that sense!
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severalbakuras · 7 years ago
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time
to
finish
s3
im not prepared
(apologies to mobile users for the long post)
episode 5:
intro is a pink screen. it’s established pink is a mourning colour. hrmmm.
oh its an eyeball SHIRO
that’s not a good looking room to be in
that HAIR
hallucinating already, this is Not Good.
so he’s like totally alone in that room that is just bad practice right there. supervisor’s gonna get fucked if they get caught.
and. another shiro. one who’s kept clean-shaven. oh ok i know where this is going i think.
operation kuron is so unsubtle that i think we’re in for several layers of bait-n-switch until it turns out shiro never actually existed. schrodinger’s Shiro. shirodinger. 
he escaped waaaaaay too easily - yeah. called it.
‘stage 3′ so stage one is ??? and stage two is this guy.
ok so shiro obvs remembers some things but i find it interesting that we’ve had no internal thoughts beyond memories of the tube/surgery. like he’s not thought about voltron or the paladins or allura and coran like he has no idea if they survived or not. nothing at all by the five minute mark.
HAGGAR FINALLY I’VE MISSED YOU SO
yeah you keep an eye on that boy. im sure absolutely nothing will happen to this guy.
self-cauterization holy shit.
“what killed you?” is the first spoken line of dialogue from shiro i think. everything else is just vague confusion noises and/or battle grunts iirc. we haven’t even had an internal line of thought yet (which i know don’t rly happen in this series like everyone tends to speak aloud but still he’s ALL alone). i think that’s significant, somehow.
how the fuck has he not frozen to death in that skinny suit.
SHIRO NO THAT COULD BE AN ACID LAKE
“subject Y0XT39″ i will eat a raw garlic clove if this turns out to be the real shiro.
wow that’s rly bad for blood circulation like way to make him lose his hands jackasses.
so these two are space cannibals. neat.
if you’re trying to convince people of who you are why would you just say your first name? he WANTS these guys to know who he is, there’s no point being cagey. say your surname shiro go ahead.
knowledge of who the paladins are rly is being kept tight under wraps. so long as nobody ever thinks to check out any planet where galra were known to have integrated into local alien communities to the point of children.
i :) wonder :) who :) might :) do :) that :)
(i wonder how earth’s doing. everyone has family down there who misses them (besides keith since he’s living in a shack in the desert and nobody from the MILITARY-ish training academy told his dad to come pick him up apparently))
lotor i swear to fuck don’t you dare pull a dreamworks smirk DONT DO YOU DARE
so galra channels are hackable
that big guy’s totally having a SUPPRESSING FIIIIIRE moment
i rly like this winter backdrop i love being able to see the brushstrokes on the snow (like digital ones but they count).
he’s starving but he doesn’t take a single bite of the food onscreen can’t tell if suspicious or #mood bc i don’t like people watching me eat either lol
so operation kuron isn’t something widely known then or Hold up those robo-soldiers have no reaction whatsoever to a unit falling down until the hangar doors close.
ok those two guys in the cave HAVE to be in on it or shiro would’ve died on that planet. why keep the ship above a Death Planet for him to be permitted to escape to unless they had someone down on the Death Planet who could send him back to the right ship to deliver to voltron without him knowing he was being played?
like this is ALL phase 3.
‘stop spying on me’
‘do your fucking job’
HA. IDEAS. IN ZARKON’S HEAD. AHHAHAA
i think this is the first time i’ve seen lotor angry like haggar gets under his skin so easily i hope they talk again soon. ‘I AM THE LEADER’ his VOICE damn.
ok so like i already know lotor is half-galran and he’s probably half-altean too like in the original series with the hair and all. but i don’t think haggar is his mother even though she’s also altean. he’s hyper-focused on not being like his father in that scene but he also seems the type that he’d leave a snarky comment about his mother too if she were. and she doesn’t ever refer to him as her son, only zarkon’s. she’d surely say ‘our’ son, unless she officially disowned him as part of his banishment and hates his guts but then surely he’d have at least SOME reaction to seeing her unless he was, like, literally banished at birth and doesn’t know who she is and that he’s half-altean. bc if he knew he was he’d connect the dots between ‘only altean on the ship’ and his dad v quickly.
like i do know the story behind exactly how original lotor (aka sincline) is half altean and it’s Unpleasant and makes zarkon a fucking monster and i doubt this series would even imply that that was the case here but if it did and our lotor knew this was the truth behind his parentage that could explain his lack of reaction to haggar AND his deeply intrinsic rejection of his father.
oh come ON the ship is stocked with oxygen!!!!!! why would a ship that’s intended for a robot pilot need oxygen!!!!!!!!
seven days, when he’s already in a bad way re blood loss/injury (like a healing serious wound burns calories and fluid by the truckload) and didn’t have much water to go on beforehand. if i didn’t think something was up before man.
finally, almost 20 minutes in, we finally see him think of his teammates. took long enough.
black lion notices. hrm.
episode six:
nice shooting lancFCUKING KILL THEM ALLURA
SAME LANCE
HUG YOUR SON SHIRO actually no you’re not shiro stay the fuck away from him
‘weird headache’ since this isn’t a dramatic romance show, he’s not got Invisible Anime Disease #5 so there’s absolutely a tracker in his brain.
A HUNK MOMENT THAT ISN’T ABOUT FOOD I’M CRY (like it intersects with pidge but i don’t mind it’s nice that he gets to show his own brains in what feels like forever)
shiro automatically stepping back in ‘this is what we do mode’ is SHRHCHCH. NO. even if he WASN’T a clone he’s still recovering and is missing out on potentially months of their relationships changing and being redefined. he can’t just step back in like that.
ok so like???? if there’d been more scenes like this early on??? i’d probably be totally into klance?? like keith doesn’t really grasp the depths of the issue with lance judging by how the shot holds on lance leaving and his facial expressions and all but keith tries and lance tries and there’s no cheap joke thrown in there’s no rejecting that there was any emotional connection. it’s not solved the problem lance has by any means but it’s lance opening up to keith about his vulnerabilities and worries and it’s keith doing his best to help him both as a leader and a friend and the narrative doesn’t turn either of them into a joke for it. THAT IS MY SHIT RIGHT THERE.
like i’m obvs lowkey into enemies-friends-lovers (bc otherwise i wouldn’t consider keitor or any of my other ships which i won’t name bc i’ve made it this far without comparing anything to warcraft so i won’t start now) but i guess i much prefer the friends-lovers stage. (especially when only one half of the pair considers the other as ‘enemy’ in the first place).
‘just whack it’ is a universal law that will last forever
SHIRO ARE YOU IN THE LEADER CHAIR. NO? SHUT UP.
fucking fake ass shiro he doesn’t even acknowledge keith stepping up to make a plan as leader like he always fucking wanted him to do he just sails on into his own plan without so much as a ‘sorry’. fuck you fake shiro. firo.
and keith just stands there like a lemon like this is ok ahrhfhg. firo i swear to god if you drag keith back down into the place he was on the gas planet before lance intervened i’m gonna be so mad.
interesting that we don’t get a reaction shot of lance when keith offers to stay behind instead of taking back red. considering how that was literally what the last scene between him and keith was about is all.
so clones are genetically identical so the black lion picking up on firo’s ~spark of life~ fading or whatever to rescue him isn’t odd. but the black lion knows your soul and it’s not happy.
(could be an issue when the real shiro returns tho but eh that’s a problem for futuretron)
I LOVE THIS LOYAL PETTY BASTARD
“Victory or death!” OH COME ON YOU’RE MAKING THE WARCRAFT REFERENCES FOR ME. LOKTAR OGAR
so perhaps lotor squad isn’t in on operation kuron?
i wonder what’s being whispered during the mind control scenes.
that ship looks like a space fox... or maybe a star fox.
in two minds about this part like right now firo IS right but they DO need to actually try and confront lotor at some point. it’s ALWAYS going to be a bad time bc lotor has figured out how to use plot armor to protect himself so sometimes you just need to attack that face down trap card and face the consequences or you’ll be stuck forever yknow?
OH IT’S HER. FROM THE SHIP. COOL i was wondering if that’d come up again.
oops he’s ambidextrous.
also i think ezor might be a little crueler than she lets on, she’s got some v. vicious expressions going on in this grapple.
ZETHRID THINKS ALLURA’S A WORTHY OPPONENT ZELLURA YOU ARE CLEARED FOR LAUNCH (in other news i am a terrible person)
honestly those are both equally high priority targets, either one WILL fuck things up in the future no matter if they follow firo or keith.
now lotor how do you know they were about to attack, unless you perhaps had a direct link into the lions communication lines, which have been kinda previously established as being impossible to hack?
(so that’s one point in them also knowing about project kuron)
YES KEITH THIS IS WHAT YOU DO BEST ON THE FLY INSTINCTIVE GOOD MOVE
hooooly shit lotor’s maaaad
get your hand off him firo.
“i’m sorry i had to step in back there” step in. STEP IN. LIKE YOU WEREN’T IN CONTROL OF THE ENTIRE MISSION START TO FINISH. he sets up ‘you were the leader and you weren’t good enough’ almost on purpose..
the former isn’t true because keith still stepped down and firo commanded all their movements from the ship and the latter isn’t true because no plan survives contact with the enemy keith basically had it as under control as shiro always did. considering the circumstances he did damn well AND he scored a ‘fuck you’ point against lotor by using lotor’s own new ship to wreck the teledove.
“i thought i had it under control” ;A;
HE’S BEEN THERE SINCE THEY ALL FORMED VOLTRON YOU FUCK. HE WAS GOOD AT THIS UNTIL YOU GOT HERE.
FUCK YOU FIRO.
damn that’s cold haggar.
episode seven:
i’m. um. huh. those certainly were memories i’ll need to pause on later.
this dramatic scene is being ruined by all the cute little triforces floating around.
my civil war theory is officially dead now i guess. goodbye, civil war theory. it was nice to have you as a handy aversion of the whole ‘X race is like this while Y race is like this’ trope that always shows up in sci fi and fantasy and sci-fantasy~
this music is giving me jack sparrow IN SPACE vibes.
oooh the dust particle effect in the light shafts in the air is pretty and a good attention to detail.
now see like why wasn’t his spirit projection thing back in season 1 more like this??? he has a character he’s got personality he’s just like his daughter i’d actually MISS this guy if that spirit projection thing had been like his true self and not a bland whatever he was he’s so forgettable i can’t even remember what he was like.
ZARKON WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. YOUR VOICE. YOUR EYES.
so like galra culture has a class/caste system and is kinda militaristic. explains a lot in the future i guess.
“WHAT IS THAT” is that the same cat narti has? and oh god no he’s a dork.
OH NO HE’S A REALLY BIG DORK AAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAA BABY ALLURA. SHE’S SO CUTE.
oh so he married honerva? oh no. OH NO SHE BETTER NOT BE HAGGAR. DON’T DO THIS.
“it was a customary gesture” tf is that all about.
“by willow!” is that the first canon mention of a deity? cool.
so the red paladin was technically the first paladin.
this thing is eldritch as fuck.
“Am I a leg?!” god i am so sad that you’re going to die horribly i love you.
now it’s REALLY eldritch.
god she really is haggar.
so alteans definitely age then (which proves empress allura was definitely dead a long LONG time before alt-eans went all mind-controlly).
honergar’s giving me major ‘that bloodbender who’s name i’ve forgotten’ vibes.
I KNEW QUINTESSENCE WAS BAD SHIT
he loves her so much im gonna cry.
so the lions cannot pick up on deceit then. they accept the will of their paladin over the safety of voltron as a whole and the other lions. they cast no moral judgement.
so there could easily be an evil voltron somewhere.
ZARKON NO HE’S HOLDING HER HAND ARGH.
so those weird purple cloud creatures from another dimension are puppeteering the corpse of the first black paladin, taking his basic desire for power and extending it into a galaxy spanning genocidal crusade because???
their home dimension must be a fucking hell dimension if things like that are trying to escape.
that guard made it seem like they sorta knew and accepted why their planet was destroyed so i guess zarkon returning from death was such a massive cultural shock that they all fell into line. bc otherwise i find it hard to believe that every single galra would join the battle (like yeah the blades exist but they’re a tiny movement) and not question what the fuck happened to his eyes or voice or how he came back from the fucking dead or why they’re meant to suddenly hate everyone.
ok so why do most of the galra have similar glowing eyes iirc? surely the vast majority should have the normal eyes that old zarkon and lotor have but they don’t. unless like successful generals are permitted to ‘live’ forever by taking the creatures into their bodies but then like they have far too much personality for that. the loktar ogar guy for example. what gives.
that’s kind of a leap at lotor’s motives but an understandable one, they don’t know how much lotor detests being like his father so i doubt he’d do the same damn thing his father was trying to do.
he’s baaaaack and he’s got no new tricks, zombieman zarkon’s still just as thick as the last time~
lotor’s gonna be so mad. and also this doesn’t actually explain why haggar lets zarkon run roughshod all over her much better plans prior to this because she doesn’t remember being his husband until this episode.
and also also imo this means haggar definitely can’t be lotor’s mother bc when we’re seeing things coran can’t possibly know like honerva on her death bed we’re probably seeing haggar’s vision of events and he doesn’t appear to be a factor in either of their lives but she remembers their wedding perfectly.
(unless he’s a zombaby but he can’t be because his eyes don’t glow).
hrm.
season four when.
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Note
do all of them
this took me so long
1. Who was the last person you held hands with?
dio
2. Are you outgoing or shy?
more outgoing? but not at first
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?
dio
4. Are you easy to get along with?
so i’ve been told
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?
oh def lol
6. What kind of people are you attracted to?
girls
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
“relationship” lol yes
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
my soulmate bryant… gonna be doing a tennis tournament in socal
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
if it’s guys talking yeah, otherwise nah
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
ummmmm probably you?
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?
I lov u
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
love in color - taeyeon, i blame on you - taeyeon, bambi - jidenna, talking to the moon - kream, foldin clothes - j cole
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?
if i like them yea!!!
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?
luck idk… but miracles yea it’s a miracle that my girl likes me back lol
15. What good thing happened this summer?
:000 i don’t remember this past summer at ALL
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
UMMmmM OFC not to be cheesy but i literally wrote a song about slow kisses with her afsghfkj
17. Do you think there is life on other planets?
yess
18. Do you still talk to your first crush?
who even was my first crush? probs some girl at church so no
19. Do you like bubble baths?
I haven’t had a bubble bath in years but probably
20. Do you like your neighbors?
idk my neighbours…………. one of them is the ex-fire chief of oakland which is cool i guess
21. What are your bad habits?
procrastination, staying up late, singing 24/7, not finishing drinks and leaving cups without washing them
22. Where would you like to travel?
I was thinking about studying abroad for a summer in college… we’ll see
23. Do you have trust issues?
i don’t trust myself
24. Favorite part of your daily routine?
talking to dio
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
my fingers are hella short so i cant play instruments as well as i’d like :(((
26. What do you do when you wake up?
go back to sleep
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
neither
28. Who are you most comfortable around?
dio
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?
no..
30. Do you ever want to get married?
umm mayb? for the benefits i guess. if dio wants to
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?
nooo i just cut it hecka short
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?
none?
33. Spell your name with your chin.
pzagtgtik
34. Do you play sports? What sports?
taekwondo… fun fact i used to play basketball.. yea…. all 5 feet and ~1 inch of me
35. Would you rather live without TV or music?
TV!!!! i dont watch tv anyway
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
i liked you lmao
37. What do you say during awkward silences?
38. Describe your dream girl/guy?
about 5′6″… brown eyes… brown hair that has these hypnotizing curly strands that frame her face… has this strong leader aura that u can kinda tell so ppl rly admire her but she doesn’t even realize…. amazing at soccer, competitive… but SO SOFT…. amazing hilarious storyteller… so intelligent and aware and always striving to better herself!! BEAUTIFUL IN SO MANY WAYS i mean i am actually so lucky so maybe i do believe in luck.. anyway that’s my dream girl… name is dio and she’s mine
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?
thrift town? i dont rly like shopping
40. What do you want to do after high school?
go to college… probably ucsb actually…. parentals want me to go to davis more tho
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
if u mess up a boba order yea; if ur sm ent making amber miserable no
42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean?
im sleeping or being emo
43. Do you smile at strangers?
sometimes i return that flat-line grimace/smile that white ppl give poc in passing bc now that it’s been pointed out to me i can’t unsee it
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
bottom of the ocean is terrifying,, let’s do it
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?
the fact that i get to see dio
46. What are you paranoid about?
nothing
47. Have you ever been high?
perchance
48. Have you ever been drunk?
mayhaps
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?
i don’t think so
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?
purple
51. Ever wished you were someone else?
nop
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?
my ineptitude at public speaking
53. Favourite makeup brand?
idk makeup
54. Favourite store?
farmer joe’s lol
55. Favourite blog?
@peachylook
56. Favourite colour?
orange!
57. Favourite food? 
korean
58. Last thing you ate?
boba
59. First thing you ate this morning?
oyako donburi
60. Ever won a competition? For what?
I won a poetry competition one time and also a musical chairs game
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?
nop
62. Been arrested? For what?
nop
63. Ever been in love? 
oh man i’m so in love it’s embarrassing
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?
LMAO i’ll pass
65. Are you hungry right now?
nah
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?
some
67. Facebook or Twitter?
uhh twitter produces good memes sometimes so i guess twitter
68. Twitter or Tumblr?
this trash site
69. Are you watching tv right now?
no
70. Names of your bestfriends? 
dio, bryant, clara
71. Craving something? What?
cranberry juice
72. What colour are your towels?
pink/white
72. How many pillows do you sleep with?
one
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
no
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?
like 20
75. Favourite animal?
doggos/cats
76. What colour is your underwear?
red
77. Chocolate or Vanilla?
chocolate
78. Favourite ice cream flavour?
mint chocolate chip
79. What colour shirt are you wearing?
white/orange
80. What colour pants?
black
81. Favourite tv show?
fresh off the boat
82. Favourite movie?
currently moana
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?
havent watched either
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?
^
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?
^
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?
crush
87. First person you talked to today?
my dad?
88. Last person you talked to today?
dio
89. Name a person you hate?
*******
90. Name a person you love?
dio
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
tr*mp
92. In a fight with someone?
no
93. How many sweatpants do you have?
like 5
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?
like 6
95. Last movie you watched?
the shack
96. Favourite actress?
lee sunbin the loml
97. Favourite actor?
???
98. Do you tan a lot?
i dont wear short clothes enough
99. Have any pets?
noooo :’((
100. How are you feeling?
sad bc my girl is sad
101. Do you type fast?
yea
102. Do you regret anything from your past?
oh man so many
103. Can you spell well?
w e l l
104. Do you miss anyone from your past?
yea
105. Ever been to a bonfire party?
no
106. Ever broken someone’s heart?
i don’t …. maybe??? presumptuous of me to say
107. Have you ever been on a horse?
no
108. What should you be doing?
homework
109. Is something irritating you right now?
the fact that it had to rain this sunday of all days
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
@ dio
111. Do you have trust issues?
trusting my memory wasnt this already a question
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
dio
113. What was your childhood nickname?
…patti?
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?
i was born out of it lmao
115. Do you play the Wii?
the first and only console i have ever owned
116. Are you listening to music right now?
no
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?
yes
118. Do you like Chinese food?
yes
119. Favourite book?
whoa idk
120. Are you afraid of the dark?
only if i’m walking in it outside alone
121. Are you mean?
yes i’m p average
122. Is cheating ever okay?
communal cheating in high school hell yea #finesseTheSystem
123. Can you keep white shoes clean?
no
124. Do you believe in love at first sight?
not rly
125. Do you believe in true love?
i believe in soulmates
126. Are you currently bored?
no
127. What makes you happy?
dio, music, good food, games
128. Would you change your name?
yea
129. What your zodiac sign?
pisces
130. Do you like subway?
does BART count
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
i should hope he likes me… we’re soulmates. and we’re both gay as hell
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
?????
133. Favourite lyrics right now?
taeyeon’s i blame on you and love in color!!!!!!
134. Can you count to one million?
i cant count my blessings how am i supposed to count to a million
135. Dumbest lie you ever told?
i liked boys LOL
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?
closed
137. How tall are you?
5′1″
138. Curly or Straight hair?
curly
139. Brunette or Blonde?
brown/black hair
140. Summer or Winter?
summer
141. Night or Day?
night
142. Favourite month?
march idk
143. Are you a vegetarian?
no
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?
dark
145. Tea or Coffee?
tea
146. Was today a good day?
it was a day
147. Mars or Snickers?
snickers
148. What’s your favourite quote?
“I’m cool as a motherfuck.” - my old man gov teacher
149. Do you believe in ghosts?
not rly
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?
“If colour was not a straightforward matter in these racial categories, neither was fixity and immutability.”
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